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00:00:38,208 --> 00:00:39,667
[Stacy] All across the world,
2
00:00:39,750 --> 00:00:42,250
and maybe ever since
the beginning of time,
3
00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:45,958
different cultures had different ways
of celebrating a kid coming of age.
4
00:00:47,667 --> 00:00:49,000
There's the quinceañera.
5
00:00:50,042 --> 00:00:52,083
- There's Sweet 16.
- [indistinct laughter]
6
00:00:52,167 --> 00:00:54,583
[Stacy] There's also something
called land diving.
7
00:00:55,083 --> 00:00:57,875
My dad told me that
in the Brazilian Amazon,
8
00:00:57,958 --> 00:01:00,167
there's this thing called
a bullet ant initiation
9
00:01:00,250 --> 00:01:03,375
where fire ants crawl all over your hands
and bite you.
10
00:01:03,458 --> 00:01:06,083
And if you can handle the pain,
you're ready to be a man.
11
00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:08,333
I told him if he thinks that sounds bad,
12
00:01:09,625 --> 00:01:11,875
try being a girl in middle school.
13
00:01:11,958 --> 00:01:14,667
["10 Things I Hate About You"
by Leah Kate playing]
14
00:01:16,042 --> 00:01:17,542
[Stacy] Everyone has their own thing.
15
00:01:19,375 --> 00:01:20,625
And we have ours.
16
00:01:26,958 --> 00:01:28,000
[song ends abruptly]
17
00:01:28,083 --> 00:01:30,625
- [dramatic music playing]
- [in Hebrew] Va-y'chal Moshe…
18
00:01:30,708 --> 00:01:33,083
[Stacy, narrating] At a Bar or Bat Mitzvah,
when you're 13,
19
00:01:33,167 --> 00:01:36,333
you step before friends,
family, and elders of the temple
20
00:01:36,417 --> 00:01:37,750
and read from the Torah.
21
00:01:38,500 --> 00:01:40,917
Then, there's usually a party.
22
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,500
All right, mishpachah,
23
00:01:43,583 --> 00:01:48,375
please say hello
to our newest and most fabulous adult,
24
00:01:48,458 --> 00:01:52,458
Stacy Friedman!
25
00:01:52,542 --> 00:01:54,667
- [crowd cheering]
- [house music playing]
26
00:01:54,750 --> 00:01:57,393
[Stacy, narrating] Your Bat Mitzvah
is the first day of your adult life,
27
00:01:57,417 --> 00:02:01,583
and everyone knows an iconic adult life
hinges on how it starts.
28
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:06,208
["I Love It" by Charli XCX playing]
♪ I don't care, I love it ♪
29
00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:07,492
[Stacy, continuing] The theme.
30
00:02:08,042 --> 00:02:09,792
- The food.
- [girl] Can I get one?
31
00:02:09,875 --> 00:02:11,333
[Stacy] The entrance video.
32
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:13,542
It all tells a story.
33
00:02:14,042 --> 00:02:15,833
Who do I want to be?
34
00:02:15,917 --> 00:02:19,833
Will I have amazing lifelong friends
like Lydia Rodriguez Katz?
35
00:02:20,958 --> 00:02:26,708
Nothing before that day matters
because that was the old you, the kid you.
36
00:02:27,333 --> 00:02:28,792
Now you're an adult.
37
00:02:29,375 --> 00:02:32,458
So who cares if two years ago
you accidentally peed yourself
38
00:02:32,542 --> 00:02:35,375
during a field trip and had to get
a secret dry pants delivery
39
00:02:35,458 --> 00:02:37,458
from your awesome older sister Ronnie?
40
00:02:38,042 --> 00:02:40,042
This is a hypothetical situation
of course.
41
00:02:40,625 --> 00:02:41,625
♪ I love it ♪
42
00:02:42,292 --> 00:02:44,083
Go Stacy! That's my sister!
43
00:02:44,167 --> 00:02:46,292
[Stacy] And what better way
to kick off adulthood
44
00:02:46,375 --> 00:02:48,500
than with the hottest guy
in seventh grade?
45
00:02:48,583 --> 00:02:49,625
♪ I love it ♪
46
00:02:49,708 --> 00:02:52,042
["Under Your Spell" by Desire playing]
47
00:02:55,750 --> 00:02:58,000
♪ You keep me under your spell ♪
48
00:02:58,083 --> 00:03:00,292
♪ You keep me under your spell ♪
49
00:03:00,375 --> 00:03:02,333
♪ You keep me under your spell ♪
50
00:03:02,417 --> 00:03:04,042
Andy, what are you doing?
51
00:03:04,667 --> 00:03:09,667
Stacy, I've loved you since the first time
I saw you in the temple's Purim Pageant.
52
00:03:09,750 --> 00:03:13,167
You were the finest Queen Esther
I ever laid eyes on.
53
00:03:13,250 --> 00:03:17,792
Is it okay if I officially signify me
being your boyfriend by giving you a kiss?
54
00:03:18,917 --> 00:03:19,917
[camera shutter clicking]
55
00:03:21,625 --> 00:03:23,625
Consent given, Andy Goldfarb.
56
00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:29,250
- [knocking on door]
- [Bree] Stacy!
57
00:03:30,375 --> 00:03:31,208
[Stacy sighing]
58
00:03:31,292 --> 00:03:33,500
[Bree] Stacy,
we're gonna be late. Let's go.
59
00:03:33,583 --> 00:03:35,583
[upbeat music playing]
60
00:03:38,042 --> 00:03:40,042
- [knocking on door]
- [Bree] I know you can hear me.
61
00:03:40,125 --> 00:03:43,625
[sighing] One second,
I'm flossing like you tell me to!
62
00:03:43,708 --> 00:03:46,250
- Now I'm gurgling.
- Well, hurry up!
63
00:03:46,333 --> 00:03:48,458
- You too, Ronnie!
- [Ronnie] I'm ready!
64
00:03:48,542 --> 00:03:50,958
You always say that. Never ready.
65
00:03:51,042 --> 00:03:53,708
- Ugh. Fine you got me. I'm not ready.
- [Danny] Yankees are winning.
66
00:03:54,375 --> 00:03:55,750
[Bree] That's what you're wearing?
67
00:03:55,833 --> 00:03:58,434
Yeah, I don't even know who this kid is.
I'm not gonna wear a suit.
68
00:03:58,458 --> 00:04:01,333
It's a junior high friend.
We have to get to know those parents too.
69
00:04:01,417 --> 00:04:03,893
I don't want to get to know 'em.
I liked when they were little.
70
00:04:03,917 --> 00:04:06,292
All we had to know was them
and the trampoline park guy.
71
00:04:06,375 --> 00:04:07,625
Ronnie, we're gonna be late!
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00:04:07,708 --> 00:04:09,958
I'll be ready when Stacy's ready, Mom.
It's all good.
73
00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:14,250
Hey, Andy, of course I'll share
a matzo ball soup with you.
74
00:04:15,583 --> 00:04:16,667
[Stacy groaning]
75
00:04:18,208 --> 00:04:19,792
Hi, Andy. I like your yarmulke.
76
00:04:19,875 --> 00:04:22,393
I didn't know you were going
to the Bat Mitzvah tonight, that's cool.
77
00:04:22,417 --> 00:04:23,958
Honey, what are you looking for?
78
00:04:24,042 --> 00:04:25,208
I can't find my earring.
79
00:04:25,292 --> 00:04:27,000
Oh, good luck.
80
00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:30,125
Keep looking, baby.
Keep looking. Take your time.
81
00:04:30,208 --> 00:04:31,458
Stacy!
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00:04:31,542 --> 00:04:33,083
Sorry, I'm coming!
83
00:04:38,375 --> 00:04:39,375
[exhaling sharply]
84
00:04:42,042 --> 00:04:43,042
[music fading]
85
00:04:44,125 --> 00:04:45,375
[Ronnie] Those are cool.
86
00:04:45,458 --> 00:04:48,417
- Mom will never let you wear them, though.
- [Stacy] She won't even notice.
87
00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:50,792
And if she does,
I'll put on a sad show for Dad.
88
00:04:50,875 --> 00:04:52,583
Oh, she'll notice. She'll hate them.
89
00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:56,208
And Dad will feel bad, but ultimately
be too afraid to stand up to Mom.
90
00:04:56,292 --> 00:04:57,875
I've known them longer than you.
91
00:05:00,042 --> 00:05:03,500
Um, excuse me,
what are those things on your feet?
92
00:05:03,583 --> 00:05:06,083
Lydia's mom bought us each a pair,
so we could twin.
93
00:05:06,167 --> 00:05:07,458
What's twin?
94
00:05:07,542 --> 00:05:09,500
Wearing the same thing.
It's very seventh grade.
95
00:05:09,583 --> 00:05:11,333
Take them off. You look like a stripper.
96
00:05:11,417 --> 00:05:14,083
- Mom, you can't say that.
- Yeah, Mom. You're gonna get cancelled.
97
00:05:14,167 --> 00:05:15,167
Oh boy.
98
00:05:15,208 --> 00:05:17,458
Take them off or lose your phone.
99
00:05:17,542 --> 00:05:19,167
[objects clattering]
100
00:05:19,250 --> 00:05:20,667
[anticipatory music playing]
101
00:05:25,958 --> 00:05:26,958
Oh.
102
00:05:29,375 --> 00:05:31,500
No, you can't. Just take them off.
103
00:05:31,583 --> 00:05:32,917
[Bree] Everyone in the car.
104
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,583
Thirty seconds or there's going
to be no food left at this thing.
105
00:05:35,667 --> 00:05:37,458
You're the one who's not ready.
We're ready.
106
00:05:37,542 --> 00:05:40,750
- I don't know where my earring is.
- Babe, did you look everywhere? Honestly?
107
00:05:40,833 --> 00:05:43,083
'Cause if you look hard enough,
you can find it.
108
00:05:43,167 --> 00:05:44,625
Why would you do that to me?
109
00:05:44,708 --> 00:05:46,667
Because I knew the girls needed more time.
110
00:05:46,750 --> 00:05:48,875
I also… I don't want to go
to this thing at all.
111
00:05:48,958 --> 00:05:50,851
- [Bree] You guys are the worst.
- Yeah. I love you. Okay.
112
00:05:50,875 --> 00:05:52,393
Come on, Mom, just let her wear the shoes.
113
00:05:52,417 --> 00:05:54,625
It's not fair to Lydia
to make her wear them by herself.
114
00:05:54,708 --> 00:05:57,708
Okay. You're going to hate them
in two minutes.
115
00:05:58,458 --> 00:05:59,708
You're welcome.
116
00:05:59,792 --> 00:06:00,958
Thank you. Love you.
117
00:06:01,750 --> 00:06:02,958
[Stacy squealing]
118
00:06:03,583 --> 00:06:05,792
[Stacy muttering, groaning]
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00:06:05,875 --> 00:06:07,708
[upbeat music playing]
120
00:06:07,792 --> 00:06:10,125
- Whoa. Ow!
- [woman] Stacy!
121
00:06:10,208 --> 00:06:11,625
I'm coming!
122
00:06:12,750 --> 00:06:13,958
Ugh, fine.
123
00:06:18,542 --> 00:06:19,917
[man] Move, child!
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00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,042
[Stacy] Coming, sorry!
125
00:06:21,125 --> 00:06:23,000
- [Bree] Oh yeah!
- [Danny] Oh, nice job.
126
00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:25,444
[Bree] Taking after Dad
with the dress clothes and sneakers.
127
00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:27,625
[Danny] Comfort always
comes first, sweetie.
128
00:06:29,583 --> 00:06:32,667
- There she is!
- [Bree] She's limping. Hi, sweetheart!
129
00:06:32,750 --> 00:06:35,833
- [Stacy] Hi, Lyd!
- Lydia, Lydia encyclopedia.
130
00:06:35,917 --> 00:06:36,833
[Lydia] Hi, guys!
131
00:06:36,917 --> 00:06:38,477
Nice shoes. You look super cute, Lydia.
132
00:06:38,542 --> 00:06:40,958
Oh, thanks, Ron Ron.
Stacy and I are twinning.
133
00:06:41,042 --> 00:06:41,958
We heard.
134
00:06:42,042 --> 00:06:43,625
Hmm. Not anymore. [chuckling]
135
00:06:44,292 --> 00:06:45,875
- You took yours off.
- I got you.
136
00:06:45,958 --> 00:06:49,042
- Oh, thank you. I couldn't feel my feet.
- Mom and Dad know we're taking you?
137
00:06:49,125 --> 00:06:52,333
Well, I told my mom, and then she told
Dad's lawyer, so we're good to go.
138
00:06:52,417 --> 00:06:55,125
["Rock and Roll, Hoochie Koo"
by Rick Derringer playing]
139
00:06:55,208 --> 00:06:56,250
Nice!
140
00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:59,750
Ugh! Dad, can you turn this song off?
It's embarrassing.
141
00:06:59,833 --> 00:07:02,000
Why is it embarrassing?
No one's around to hear it.
142
00:07:02,083 --> 00:07:04,083
Oh my God! You're humiliating me!
143
00:07:04,167 --> 00:07:07,042
All right! I'll turn it off. Jesus.
144
00:07:07,750 --> 00:07:09,000
[Stacy crying]
145
00:07:09,083 --> 00:07:12,000
I turned it off, guys!
What are we still upset about?
146
00:07:12,083 --> 00:07:14,958
Their watching sad videos
to see who can cry first.
147
00:07:16,125 --> 00:07:19,625
You're trying to cry. That is so bizarre.
148
00:07:19,708 --> 00:07:21,708
[affectionate chatter on screen]
149
00:07:22,792 --> 00:07:25,708
Ugh! You're so freaking good at this game.
I hate it.
150
00:07:25,792 --> 00:07:27,583
Everybody in this house needs a shrink.
151
00:07:27,667 --> 00:07:28,792
Yeah, you need two.
152
00:07:28,875 --> 00:07:29,708
Ten.
153
00:07:29,792 --> 00:07:31,708
[chuckling] That's nice.
154
00:07:31,792 --> 00:07:34,250
Everyone be normal. We're going to temple.
155
00:07:34,333 --> 00:07:35,458
Here's your music.
156
00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:38,125
["Stupid Love" by Lady Gaga playing]
157
00:07:43,375 --> 00:07:47,125
[DJ] Make some noise, mishpachah!
158
00:07:49,417 --> 00:07:51,250
Woohoo!
159
00:07:51,333 --> 00:07:53,500
It's Devin's B'nai Mitzvah!
160
00:07:53,583 --> 00:07:57,667
They're becoming an adult.
Let's hear it for Devin!
161
00:07:57,750 --> 00:08:00,500
We've been pushing all the teachers
to assign more homework.
162
00:08:00,583 --> 00:08:03,625
If we want to prepare our kids
for this world, we gotta start 'em early.
163
00:08:03,708 --> 00:08:05,417
India's been kicking our ass.
164
00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:07,684
- I'm always telling my son, Marvin...
- [Danny] I'm sorry.
165
00:08:07,708 --> 00:08:10,792
Can I interrupt you for one second?
I think this is on behalf of the table.
166
00:08:10,875 --> 00:08:14,583
We came here
to enjoy chicken and fish tonight
167
00:08:14,667 --> 00:08:17,458
and maybe have a few drinks,
so could you stop talking?
168
00:08:17,958 --> 00:08:19,958
♪ I want your stupid love ♪
169
00:08:20,042 --> 00:08:21,042
[Danny] Thank you.
170
00:08:21,750 --> 00:08:22,750
Wow!
171
00:08:25,708 --> 00:08:27,708
[creepy music playing]
172
00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:31,417
This is such a classic.
Have you watched Leprechaun in the Hood?
173
00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:32,917
Dude, that's a masterpiece.
174
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:37,042
We know. We've seen it. It was awful.
Can you just let us watch our movie?
175
00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:38,292
Bye!
176
00:08:38,958 --> 00:08:39,958
That hurt.
177
00:08:41,625 --> 00:08:43,375
- We've seen that?
- No.
178
00:08:43,458 --> 00:08:44,625
[both chuckling]
179
00:08:44,708 --> 00:08:46,417
Okay, I love this Carnivale theme,
180
00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:48,958
but your Candyland theme
is gonna be the best of the year.
181
00:08:49,042 --> 00:08:52,625
Oh, until your New York theme
puts the entire school to shame!
182
00:08:52,708 --> 00:08:54,167
If my parents let me have it.
183
00:08:54,250 --> 00:08:56,125
Did your dad talk to DJ Schmuley yet?
184
00:08:56,208 --> 00:08:59,625
Let me hear you scream,
"DJ Schmuley is my king!"
185
00:08:59,708 --> 00:09:01,875
[crowd] DJ Schmuley is my king!
186
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:04,833
- He's already been booked. We got it!
- Sweet!
187
00:09:04,917 --> 00:09:06,643
["Preach" by Saint Motel playing
over speakers]
188
00:09:06,667 --> 00:09:08,458
Looking nice, ladies!
189
00:09:08,542 --> 00:09:09,708
- [Lydia] Hi, guys.
- Hi.
190
00:09:09,792 --> 00:09:11,672
Can you believe
we're becoming adults this year?
191
00:09:11,708 --> 00:09:12,583
- No.
- [Nikki] Yeah.
192
00:09:12,667 --> 00:09:15,042
My mom actually let me shave
my legs this afternoon.
193
00:09:15,125 --> 00:09:17,333
First time. So magical.
194
00:09:17,417 --> 00:09:18,833
Oh, I'm so proud of you, Nikki!
195
00:09:18,917 --> 00:09:21,917
It burns so bad right now, like somebody
wiped wasabi all over my shins.
196
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,250
Oh.
197
00:09:23,333 --> 00:09:24,625
Oh my God.
198
00:09:24,708 --> 00:09:27,458
[Tara] Why do Kym, Anya,
and Megan always look so cool?
199
00:09:27,542 --> 00:09:29,083
Are those birds rescued?
200
00:09:29,167 --> 00:09:31,000
- Say what?
- They better be.
201
00:09:31,083 --> 00:09:33,292
- They scare me.
- Yeah, you know what else is scary?
202
00:09:33,375 --> 00:09:36,958
Nikki's mom is allowing Ronnie and Zaara
to drink alcohol!
203
00:09:37,042 --> 00:09:39,375
One, two, three. Woo!
204
00:09:41,125 --> 00:09:42,958
[exclaiming]
205
00:09:43,042 --> 00:09:44,762
- Okay, let me hide those.
- [Ronnie coughing]
206
00:09:44,792 --> 00:09:47,208
Yeah, she's trying to be like a cool mom.
It's really weird.
207
00:09:47,292 --> 00:09:48,542
[Andy] Let's go!
208
00:09:50,083 --> 00:09:53,458
Oh my God,
Andy Goldfarb looks so cute tonight.
209
00:09:55,667 --> 00:09:56,708
♪ Let's go ♪
210
00:09:59,333 --> 00:10:02,042
Do you realize
that one day he will be mine,
211
00:10:02,125 --> 00:10:03,833
and you will have a cool boyfriend too,
212
00:10:03,917 --> 00:10:07,333
and then we'll have a joint wedding
and move to adjoining lofts in Tribeca?
213
00:10:07,417 --> 00:10:09,042
In Taylor Swift's building?
214
00:10:09,125 --> 00:10:10,375
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
215
00:10:10,458 --> 00:10:11,458
[giggling]
216
00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:12,375
I'm gonna talk to him.
217
00:10:12,458 --> 00:10:13,779
- [Lydia] What?
- [Stacy] I'm ready.
218
00:10:13,833 --> 00:10:16,250
You should, Stace. Yeah, you got this.
219
00:10:16,333 --> 00:10:17,333
Come with me, please.
220
00:10:17,375 --> 00:10:18,250
- Yeah.
- Let's go.
221
00:10:18,333 --> 00:10:20,083
Go, go, go. You got this.
222
00:10:20,167 --> 00:10:21,333
Gang way!
223
00:10:21,417 --> 00:10:23,000
Hey, wait for me!
224
00:10:23,083 --> 00:10:25,083
- No! You're embarrassing me.
- Yes!
225
00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:27,750
["Under Your Spell" by Desire playing]
226
00:10:28,750 --> 00:10:32,208
♪ I don't eat, I don't sleep ♪
227
00:10:32,292 --> 00:10:36,833
♪ I do nothing but think of you ♪
228
00:10:38,042 --> 00:10:40,042
♪ You keep me under your spell ♪
229
00:10:40,125 --> 00:10:41,500
♪ You keep me under your… ♪
230
00:10:41,583 --> 00:10:42,583
[Mateo] Hey, Stacy.
231
00:10:42,667 --> 00:10:43,667
[song stops]
232
00:10:44,375 --> 00:10:45,458
I like your kicks.
233
00:10:49,583 --> 00:10:50,917
Andy, smile!
234
00:10:52,833 --> 00:10:53,958
[girl] Finish him!
235
00:11:01,042 --> 00:11:04,458
Why would Mateo do that?
That was so uncalled for.
236
00:11:04,542 --> 00:11:05,458
Oh, sorry.
237
00:11:05,542 --> 00:11:06,792
Completely. Sorry.
238
00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:09,436
Why does Andy hang out
with that Italian exchange student anyway?
239
00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:10,750
I think he's Ecuadorian.
240
00:11:10,833 --> 00:11:13,458
Whatever. I heard he has a girlfriend
back home. She's in college.
241
00:11:13,542 --> 00:11:15,542
Um, no. I think that's, like, illegal.
242
00:11:15,625 --> 00:11:17,625
- [It roaring]
- [Zaara screaming]
243
00:11:17,708 --> 00:11:19,167
- Oh my God!
- [crowd gasping]
244
00:11:20,292 --> 00:11:22,000
- [Zaara] Sorry.
- What's wrong with you?
245
00:11:22,083 --> 00:11:24,375
- Why would you do that? So embarrassing.
- I'm sorry.
246
00:11:24,458 --> 00:11:27,542
All right, everybody, make some noise!
247
00:11:27,625 --> 00:11:32,417
♪ If you don't wanna see me
Dancing with somebody ♪
248
00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:34,458
["Don't Start Now" by Dua Lipa playing]
249
00:11:35,417 --> 00:11:37,375
♪ If you wanna believe… ♪
250
00:11:37,458 --> 00:11:40,333
Come on, let's dance, everybody! Come on!
251
00:11:41,958 --> 00:11:45,208
♪ Don't show up, don't come out ♪
252
00:11:45,917 --> 00:11:49,000
♪ Don't start caring about me now ♪
253
00:11:51,583 --> 00:11:54,333
- [Schmuley] Let me hear you scream, Schmu…
- [crowd] Ley!
254
00:11:54,417 --> 00:11:55,667
- Schmu...
- [crowd] Ley!
255
00:11:55,750 --> 00:11:56,917
- Schmu, Schmu...
- [crowd] Ley!
256
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,083
Why does everybody like this idiot?
257
00:11:59,167 --> 00:12:00,750
- He's the best!
- The best.
258
00:12:00,833 --> 00:12:05,167
- You've been officially Schmulitized!
- [crowd cheering]
259
00:12:05,250 --> 00:12:06,583
[music fades]
260
00:12:06,667 --> 00:12:08,467
[Stacy] Thank you family
for joining us today.
261
00:12:10,292 --> 00:12:12,500
Let me take you all on a journey.
262
00:12:12,583 --> 00:12:15,500
Picture this. My entrance video starts…
263
00:12:16,333 --> 00:12:19,125
Which, as we know,
sets the tone for the entire Bat Mitzvah.
264
00:12:19,208 --> 00:12:21,083
- [Stacy] Mm-hmm.
- [man shouting]
265
00:12:21,167 --> 00:12:23,083
- [Stacy] Ugh, Ronnie!
- Girls, come on.
266
00:12:23,167 --> 00:12:27,375
Anyway, I descend the stairs
of a private yacht on the Hudson River
267
00:12:27,458 --> 00:12:29,417
to cheers and fireworks.
268
00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:30,667
Whoa.
269
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:33,167
Then! Oh, who's that zipping by
on a jet ski?
270
00:12:33,750 --> 00:12:36,792
Why that's international recording artist
Olivia Rodrigo.
271
00:12:36,875 --> 00:12:38,792
Wait, how we gonna pay for this?
272
00:12:38,875 --> 00:12:39,708
Oh, we have ideas.
273
00:12:39,792 --> 00:12:41,250
They… they got ideas, honey.
274
00:12:41,333 --> 00:12:42,458
[Lydia] Okay.
275
00:12:43,583 --> 00:12:46,542
No. Wait. No. The old guy
was supposed to be for your dad.
276
00:12:46,625 --> 00:12:47,833
Oh no. Just keep going.
277
00:12:47,917 --> 00:12:48,917
[girls muttering]
278
00:12:49,708 --> 00:12:50,542
- There.
- Okay.
279
00:12:50,625 --> 00:12:52,667
Oh, this is amazing.
280
00:12:52,750 --> 00:12:54,458
- Shut up, Ronnie.
- No, you shut up.
281
00:12:54,542 --> 00:12:55,583
I'll kill you, Ronnie.
282
00:12:55,667 --> 00:12:57,375
Not if I stab you first!
283
00:12:57,458 --> 00:12:58,667
Oh, that's… that's nice.
284
00:12:58,750 --> 00:13:02,333
Oh my God, this is important!
I'm becoming a freaking woman, everyone!
285
00:13:02,417 --> 00:13:05,750
Okay, woman. All you should worry about
right now is your mitzvah project
286
00:13:05,833 --> 00:13:07,250
and practicing your Haftarah.
287
00:13:07,333 --> 00:13:09,167
- [Bree] Mm-hmm.
- That's not important!
288
00:13:10,917 --> 00:13:14,625
I mean, it is important to you
and other old people and God and stuff.
289
00:13:14,708 --> 00:13:17,292
But to me, the party is important.
290
00:13:17,375 --> 00:13:20,417
If this doesn't go well,
I could end up like Kate Kossman.
291
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,208
You are not gonna end up
like Kate Kossman.
292
00:13:22,292 --> 00:13:23,583
Who's Kate Kossman?
293
00:13:23,667 --> 00:13:27,292
Oh, she had this terrible medieval themed
Bat Mitzvah called Kate Kossman Knights,
294
00:13:27,375 --> 00:13:29,625
not realizing
the initials spelled out KKK.
295
00:13:29,708 --> 00:13:31,667
Yeah, no, I could see
that being a problem. Okay.
296
00:13:31,750 --> 00:13:34,750
So now, she just sits alone in
the cafeteria sewing friendship bracelets
297
00:13:34,833 --> 00:13:38,250
for literally no one
because she has no friends.
298
00:13:38,333 --> 00:13:39,625
That sounds a little dramatic.
299
00:13:39,708 --> 00:13:43,292
Oh, so you think you shouldn't be
punished for promoting the KKK.
300
00:13:43,375 --> 00:13:45,750
Wow, Mom,
didn't realize you supported racism.
301
00:13:45,833 --> 00:13:46,750
Oh boy.
302
00:13:46,833 --> 00:13:47,833
[Stacy] Hear me out.
303
00:13:47,917 --> 00:13:50,917
You're always saying how my Bat Mitzvah
determines the rest of my life.
304
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:53,042
And I think Dua Lipa
would make my life perfect.
305
00:13:53,125 --> 00:13:56,625
No. No famous pop stars,
no yachts, no sailboats even.
306
00:13:56,708 --> 00:13:59,250
That's so unfair!
Ronnie got a baked potato bar at hers!
307
00:13:59,333 --> 00:14:02,667
Listen, when I got Bar Mitzvahed,
we had a party in Grandma's basement.
308
00:14:02,750 --> 00:14:04,750
We all split, like, this giant matzo ball.
309
00:14:04,833 --> 00:14:05,667
That was the fun.
310
00:14:05,750 --> 00:14:07,958
You know what the theme was? Being Jewish.
311
00:14:08,042 --> 00:14:10,750
Just practice your prayers
and write your speech already.
312
00:14:10,833 --> 00:14:13,167
Oh, I've been doing that Mr. Friedman.
It's all covered.
313
00:14:13,250 --> 00:14:15,417
You're writing Stacy's speech?
314
00:14:15,500 --> 00:14:18,061
- You know I'm not good at writing.
- English is her worst subject.
315
00:14:18,125 --> 00:14:19,292
It's really bad.
316
00:14:19,375 --> 00:14:21,417
- Stacy, that is so not okay.
- [Lydia] It's fine.
317
00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:24,583
She's gonna do my entrance video.
I know she'll crush it. Don't worry.
318
00:14:25,750 --> 00:14:27,917
Can I at least have a virgin mojito bar?
319
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,458
You can have a ball pit.
320
00:14:29,542 --> 00:14:31,167
Oh my God, Dad. That's for kids!
321
00:14:31,250 --> 00:14:33,375
I've had my period for seven months now!
322
00:14:33,458 --> 00:14:35,083
[chuckling] Wait, Stacy.
323
00:14:35,167 --> 00:14:36,917
That's a long period, sweetheart!
324
00:14:38,833 --> 00:14:40,375
You know what? I'm gonna head out.
325
00:14:40,458 --> 00:14:41,500
I'll drive you.
326
00:14:41,583 --> 00:14:43,224
[Lydia] Love you. See you in the morning.
327
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:44,958
Don't worry, Dad. It'll be okay.
328
00:14:45,458 --> 00:14:47,500
She's growing up so fast. It's crazy.
329
00:14:47,583 --> 00:14:48,792
[Ronnie] I'm drinking now.
330
00:14:48,875 --> 00:14:51,625
I tried it the other day.
I didn't like it. We're good.
331
00:14:53,958 --> 00:14:54,958
[door closing]
332
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,333
[Stacy, in Hebrew]
Va-y'chal Mosh...
333
00:14:57,417 --> 00:14:59,958
- [Stacy sighs frustratedly]
- [recording, in Hebrew] Va-y'chal…
334
00:15:00,042 --> 00:15:01,559
[Stacy, narrating]
Dear God, what's up?
335
00:15:01,583 --> 00:15:04,417
Stacy Friedman here,
but I guess you already know that.
336
00:15:04,917 --> 00:15:07,417
And I guess you already know
what I'm going to say.
337
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:11,375
But just to be super safe,
I'm going to say it anyway.
338
00:15:11,875 --> 00:15:15,958
I would really, really appreciate it
if I could have an amazing Bat Mitzvah.
339
00:15:16,042 --> 00:15:17,375
[contemplative music playing]
340
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:19,667
And I know I need
to do my mitzvah project.
341
00:15:19,750 --> 00:15:24,167
But isn't a mitzvah project supposed to be
giving back in a way that represents me?
342
00:15:24,250 --> 00:15:26,125
Which is why I don't know what to do.
343
00:15:26,833 --> 00:15:28,208
I mean, I'm not popular.
344
00:15:28,292 --> 00:15:29,750
I'm not a loser.
345
00:15:31,333 --> 00:15:33,292
I don't know who I am.
346
00:15:34,250 --> 00:15:37,292
But I do know,
if I have a kick-ass Bat Mitzvah,
347
00:15:37,375 --> 00:15:41,292
doors would open,
and I can have a fab life on my own terms.
348
00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:43,125
[woman] No. No famous pop stars.
349
00:15:43,208 --> 00:15:44,458
[man] You can have a ball pit.
350
00:15:44,542 --> 00:15:47,417
[Stacy] A ball pit? Lydia's
gonna get everything she asked for.
351
00:15:47,500 --> 00:15:49,417
Even a Twizzlers station for me.
352
00:15:49,958 --> 00:15:52,125
I'm starting
to worry Mom and Dad don't get it,
353
00:15:52,208 --> 00:15:54,167
and the whole thing's gonna suck.
354
00:15:54,958 --> 00:15:55,958
[music fades]
355
00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:00,292
[Stacy whimpering]
356
00:16:00,792 --> 00:16:04,125
- [Stacy] You had her phone the whole time?
- [Lydia] No, she was lying.
357
00:16:04,208 --> 00:16:05,625
- The audacity.
- The monster.
358
00:16:05,708 --> 00:16:06,875
Yeah.
359
00:16:06,958 --> 00:16:08,792
- Can we sit outside? It's a nice day.
- No.
360
00:16:08,875 --> 00:16:10,556
I mean, I definitely could use some color.
361
00:16:10,625 --> 00:16:13,042
- Yeah, it's true.
- Is that Tory Burch?
362
00:16:13,125 --> 00:16:17,250
Oh no, it's Walmart. I got this
and a water bottle for only $12.
363
00:16:17,333 --> 00:16:18,583
I was talking to her.
364
00:16:19,125 --> 00:16:20,125
[shushing]
365
00:16:21,292 --> 00:16:22,625
M-me?
366
00:16:22,708 --> 00:16:23,750
Your skirt.
367
00:16:23,833 --> 00:16:26,083
Uh, yeah, it is Tory Burch.
368
00:16:26,167 --> 00:16:29,750
My mom is trying to spend all
my dad's money before the next court date.
369
00:16:30,833 --> 00:16:33,458
I'm pretty sure I saw Hailey Bieber
wearing the exact same one.
370
00:16:33,542 --> 00:16:36,000
[softly] Oh cool. Okay. Bye.
371
00:16:36,083 --> 00:16:38,083
[indistinct chatter]
372
00:16:38,625 --> 00:16:39,792
That was weird.
373
00:16:39,875 --> 00:16:42,792
- I love and hate them at the same time.
- [sighing] Yeah.
374
00:16:42,875 --> 00:16:44,333
What just happened?
375
00:16:44,417 --> 00:16:46,375
["Wait A Minute!" by WILLOW playing]
376
00:16:53,958 --> 00:16:55,458
♪ Wait a minute ♪
377
00:16:55,958 --> 00:17:00,292
♪ I think I left my conscience
On your front-door step ♪
378
00:17:01,833 --> 00:17:03,500
♪ Whoa ♪
379
00:17:03,583 --> 00:17:05,958
- [song stops]
- [pop music playing on phone]
380
00:17:06,042 --> 00:17:09,250
So get this. I heard Megan's
doing her mitzvah project next weekend.
381
00:17:09,333 --> 00:17:10,974
She's passing out sunscreen at Coachella.
382
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:12,875
- What? Wow.
- [Stacy] So cool.
383
00:17:12,958 --> 00:17:14,799
Guys, I have to come up
with something amazing.
384
00:17:14,833 --> 00:17:16,083
This is so much pressure.
385
00:17:16,167 --> 00:17:19,583
How long do you think it takes to become
a social activist influencer on TikTok?
386
00:17:19,667 --> 00:17:21,083
Uh, six months?
387
00:17:21,167 --> 00:17:22,458
Too long. [sighing]
388
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:25,417
You know what?
We just need to chill our brains.
389
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:27,976
What are you doing Saturday?
My mom's out of town this weekend.
390
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,250
Why? You gonna throw a party?
391
00:17:29,333 --> 00:17:30,333
A dork party?
392
00:17:30,375 --> 00:17:31,542
[all chuckling]
393
00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:33,500
What if I did?
394
00:17:33,958 --> 00:17:36,125
Well, I mean, my dad's out of town.
395
00:17:36,208 --> 00:17:38,167
Now, you could actually throw a party.
396
00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:41,167
You could invite the whole seventh grade
and not exclude anybody.
397
00:17:41,250 --> 00:17:45,500
Oh, come on. Wouldn't it be fun to exclude
people instead of being excluded for once?
398
00:17:45,583 --> 00:17:47,667
["Wait A Minute!" by WILLOW playing]
399
00:17:59,375 --> 00:18:00,417
[Andy] Heads up!
400
00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:01,875
- [Stacy grunting]
- [all gasping]
401
00:18:01,958 --> 00:18:03,375
[Lydia] Ay dios mío.
402
00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:06,167
Stace, Stace, Stace, Stace? Are you okay?
403
00:18:06,250 --> 00:18:07,958
- [kids gasping]
- Oh shit.
404
00:18:08,042 --> 00:18:09,417
That doesn't look good.
405
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:10,792
You have grass in your hair.
406
00:18:10,875 --> 00:18:12,042
[Mateo] Stacy.
407
00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:13,292
Are you okay?
408
00:18:13,375 --> 00:18:14,625
[Andy] That's my bad!
409
00:18:14,708 --> 00:18:16,750
[dreamy music playing]
410
00:18:16,833 --> 00:18:17,833
You good?
411
00:18:22,417 --> 00:18:23,583
Yeah. Sorry about that.
412
00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:30,458
- Have some water.
- [music stops]
413
00:18:32,542 --> 00:18:33,917
Oh my God. That was perfect.
414
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,250
He went… And then you went.
415
00:18:35,333 --> 00:18:37,583
- You guys are meant to be.
- [Stacy chuckling]
416
00:18:37,667 --> 00:18:39,500
Hey, are your legs okay, Nikki?
417
00:18:40,750 --> 00:18:42,458
They're fine, Mateo. Just relax.
418
00:18:42,542 --> 00:18:44,542
["Tongue Tied" by Grouplove playing]
419
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,250
[kids clamoring]
420
00:18:48,333 --> 00:18:50,333
[indistinct chatter]
421
00:18:52,500 --> 00:18:53,333
[Lydia] Really?
422
00:18:53,417 --> 00:18:57,125
Oh, by the way, Dad invited
the dry cleaner to the Bat Mitzvah, Stacy.
423
00:18:57,208 --> 00:18:58,833
What? No, that's so unfair.
424
00:18:58,917 --> 00:19:02,333
The ratio to old people to normal people
is already so unbalanced.
425
00:19:02,417 --> 00:19:04,917
Why is that kid Mateo going
to Hebrew school?
426
00:19:05,833 --> 00:19:09,208
Maybe he wanted to convert
and take some Jewish holidays off?
427
00:19:09,292 --> 00:19:10,625
[all chuckling]
428
00:19:10,708 --> 00:19:12,149
[Lydia] You gonna invite him, Stace?
429
00:19:12,208 --> 00:19:13,667
Mateo? No, I barely know him.
430
00:19:13,750 --> 00:19:16,042
You know, if you invite Mateo,
Andy might come.
431
00:19:16,125 --> 00:19:18,958
[electronic music playing over radio]
432
00:19:19,042 --> 00:19:20,875
[vocalizing]
433
00:19:20,958 --> 00:19:22,500
Have fun learning!
434
00:19:22,583 --> 00:19:24,208
Love you!
435
00:19:24,292 --> 00:19:26,292
["Tongue Tied" by Grouplove playing]
436
00:19:26,375 --> 00:19:27,625
Oh shit!
437
00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:30,042
[Schmuley yelling]
438
00:19:30,125 --> 00:19:31,250
Are you on dru...
439
00:19:31,333 --> 00:19:33,333
[both] Take me to your best friend's house
440
00:19:33,417 --> 00:19:37,667
Goin' round this roundabout, oh yeah
441
00:19:39,208 --> 00:19:41,292
- [boy] Thank you.
- [Lydia] Good job, guys.
442
00:19:41,875 --> 00:19:43,000
- Manishmah.
- Hi.
443
00:19:43,083 --> 00:19:44,583
- Shalom, you two.
- Shalom.
444
00:19:44,667 --> 00:19:47,417
[Lydia] Oh, this looks really good.
I am not that creative…
445
00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:49,458
I was not good at arts and crafts,
like, at all.
446
00:19:49,542 --> 00:19:51,250
- I like your outfit, Ashley.
- Thank you.
447
00:19:51,333 --> 00:19:52,542
Oh yeah, it's really cute.
448
00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:54,750
[girl] Look who's coming out
of the make out closet.
449
00:19:54,833 --> 00:19:56,434
[Stacy] Oh my God,
were they hooking up in there?
450
00:19:56,458 --> 00:19:59,583
How do they not get caught?
There's literally so many people around.
451
00:20:00,417 --> 00:20:05,083
Would you believe when I was your age,
I was in a Jewish rock and roll band?
452
00:20:05,167 --> 00:20:10,042
We called ourselves Exodus
because Genesis was already taken.
453
00:20:10,875 --> 00:20:12,250
I'm sorry, Aaron, am I boring you?
454
00:20:12,333 --> 00:20:14,667
[Aaron] What? No...
I was listening, Cantor Jerry.
455
00:20:14,750 --> 00:20:15,792
[Nikki] Stace, Lyd!
456
00:20:15,875 --> 00:20:16,917
[upbeat music playing]
457
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,208
- You look so cute. You guys good?
- [Nikki] Yes.
458
00:20:19,292 --> 00:20:20,958
- The pole!
- Pole!
459
00:20:21,750 --> 00:20:23,500
Oh, wait, how's your Torah portion going?
460
00:20:23,583 --> 00:20:25,292
It's like 6,000 pages long.
461
00:20:25,375 --> 00:20:27,958
Why did my parents pick
the third week of August?
462
00:20:28,042 --> 00:20:31,667
But mine's literally, like, a minute
and a half long. Thank you, June 10th!
463
00:20:32,292 --> 00:20:35,000
Chop-chop, ladies! Curtain's up in five!
464
00:20:35,083 --> 00:20:38,917
I like to think of Hebrew school
as a little performance I give.
465
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:42,667
Your prayer book is the playbill,
and I'm the star, cutie-pops.
466
00:20:42,750 --> 00:20:43,583
[girls giggling]
467
00:20:43,667 --> 00:20:46,708
Giving you a bit of the ole razzle-dazzle.
You know what I'm saying?
468
00:20:46,792 --> 00:20:48,632
Kidding. Come one, class is starting.
Let's go!
469
00:20:48,708 --> 00:20:49,792
[girl 2] Rabbi Rebecca!
470
00:20:49,875 --> 00:20:52,143
- Can we please have snacks?
- You want some latkes and gefilte fish?
471
00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:53,083
She's insane.
472
00:20:53,167 --> 00:20:54,542
I know. I love her. [giggling]
473
00:20:54,625 --> 00:20:56,875
"And I'm the star,
cutie-pops, razzle-dazzle."
474
00:20:56,958 --> 00:20:58,292
- Very nice.
- Very good.
475
00:20:58,375 --> 00:20:59,708
Thank you. Thank you very much.
476
00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:00,833
[indistinct chatter]
477
00:21:00,917 --> 00:21:03,125
- Is she serious? Oh my God.
- I know, right?
478
00:21:03,208 --> 00:21:05,958
I really want a cloud.
Like, I want to taste a cloud.
479
00:21:06,042 --> 00:21:08,333
- You want what?
- I want to taste a cloud.
480
00:21:08,417 --> 00:21:09,857
I want to taste a cloud. That's all.
481
00:21:09,917 --> 00:21:11,792
- [Lydia] It seems...
- [Andy] Yo. You good, bro?
482
00:21:15,333 --> 00:21:16,875
Yeah. Why?
483
00:21:16,958 --> 00:21:19,042
Uh, your head from earlier.
484
00:21:19,125 --> 00:21:20,417
Head injuries are no joke.
485
00:21:20,500 --> 00:21:23,167
One time I barfed at soccer
from a concussion.
486
00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:25,500
Did you barf?
487
00:21:25,958 --> 00:21:27,792
No. I didn't.
488
00:21:28,292 --> 00:21:29,292
Tight.
489
00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:36,375
- All right, shabbat shalom!
- [class] Shabbat shalom.
490
00:21:36,458 --> 00:21:39,667
[Rebecca] How's everyone feeling?
We having the time of our lives right now?
491
00:21:39,750 --> 00:21:41,667
You guys start your mitzvah projects yet?
492
00:21:41,750 --> 00:21:43,542
- [class] No.
- Yeah.
493
00:21:43,625 --> 00:21:47,625
No? It's the most important part
of this whole thing.
494
00:21:47,708 --> 00:21:52,958
It's when you do something menschie
for your community, for society at-large.
495
00:21:53,042 --> 00:21:56,042
What? You guys don't care
about society at-large?
496
00:21:56,125 --> 00:21:57,917
- [class] No.
- Yeah.
497
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:02,583
All right, how about we pick up where
we left off with our old buddy, David.
498
00:22:02,667 --> 00:22:03,708
Remember him?
499
00:22:03,792 --> 00:22:08,542
Homeboy was about to get his groove on
with the foxy Bathsheba
500
00:22:08,625 --> 00:22:10,958
even though she was married
to someone else.
501
00:22:11,042 --> 00:22:13,500
[scoffing] What a snake David is!
502
00:22:13,583 --> 00:22:14,667
You a snake, Aaron?
503
00:22:16,042 --> 00:22:16,958
N-no.
504
00:22:17,042 --> 00:22:19,167
You ever pull something like that?
Cheat on your wife?
505
00:22:21,542 --> 00:22:25,625
- M-me?
- Dude, I'm messing around with you. Relax!
506
00:22:25,708 --> 00:22:27,833
You're sweating, my goodness.
507
00:22:27,917 --> 00:22:29,833
You're not a snake, Aaron. You're awesome.
508
00:22:29,917 --> 00:22:31,957
Look at that arm hair
and mustache coming in strong.
509
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,917
Baruch HaShem, Aaron. Let's go.
510
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:35,667
[class giggling]
511
00:22:36,375 --> 00:22:38,417
["Monte Carlo" by Remi Wolf playing]
512
00:22:40,333 --> 00:22:42,726
[Gabi] So I told the sales lady,
"I'll take one in each color."
513
00:22:42,750 --> 00:22:45,630
And she said, "Are you getting a divorce?"
And I said, "How'd you guess?"
514
00:22:48,208 --> 00:22:49,375
That's really funny, Mom.
515
00:22:49,458 --> 00:22:52,667
Hey, can you let me bring over some people
on Saturday?
516
00:22:52,750 --> 00:22:53,875
Oh sure. Like a playdate?
517
00:22:53,958 --> 00:22:57,833
A playdate? Mom, I'm 13.
Please don't call it a playdate.
518
00:22:57,917 --> 00:22:58,750
[cell phone ringing]
519
00:22:58,833 --> 00:23:00,875
My dad's calling me. Hi!
520
00:23:00,958 --> 00:23:03,375
Hey! Stacels.
Hey, I'm at the store right now.
521
00:23:03,458 --> 00:23:05,750
Mommy told me you need some, uh, tampons…
522
00:23:05,833 --> 00:23:08,114
- But I'm not sure what size you use...
- Stop. Get whatever.
523
00:23:08,167 --> 00:23:10,018
[Danny] There's a lot of whatever
to choose from.
524
00:23:10,042 --> 00:23:11,333
Do pads. I don't care.
525
00:23:11,417 --> 00:23:12,875
What kind of flow do you got going?
526
00:23:12,958 --> 00:23:14,667
- Uh, heavy flow situation?
- Heavy.
527
00:23:14,750 --> 00:23:16,708
- Oh my God.
- A light flow? Or extra chunky?
528
00:23:16,792 --> 00:23:19,500
I… I… I got confused.
I'm getting peanut butter also.
529
00:23:19,583 --> 00:23:22,667
- [Stacy] I mean...
- Mommy said it was a high-alert situation?
530
00:23:22,750 --> 00:23:24,470
That you might have to sleep
in the bathtub?
531
00:23:24,542 --> 00:23:26,292
I'll drop 'em off
in your room immediately.
532
00:23:26,375 --> 00:23:27,792
Oh my God. Love you. Bye.
533
00:23:31,583 --> 00:23:34,542
"Hey, Lyd, it's Kym.
Having people over now."
534
00:23:34,625 --> 00:23:36,000
"Pull up if you're free."
535
00:23:36,500 --> 00:23:37,500
Wow.
536
00:23:39,250 --> 00:23:40,917
Um, what do I say?
537
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:42,250
Do you want to go?
538
00:23:44,125 --> 00:23:45,125
No.
539
00:23:46,750 --> 00:23:49,417
But, I mean, I should respond.
540
00:23:49,500 --> 00:23:52,500
Yeah. For sure.
Uh, if you want to go, I don't care.
541
00:23:52,583 --> 00:23:55,417
I just think they're awful,
but it's your choice.
542
00:23:56,583 --> 00:23:58,750
- Let me ask if you can come.
- No. Please don't do that.
543
00:23:58,833 --> 00:24:02,292
Yeah, I'm gonna ask. Doing it right now.
Look, I just did it. Whoops. Sorry.
544
00:24:07,958 --> 00:24:09,125
[both screaming]
545
00:24:09,208 --> 00:24:13,083
Oh my God! Okay, Mom, can you drop us off
at Kym Chang-Cohen's house, please?
546
00:24:13,167 --> 00:24:15,708
- Wait. Can you stop by my place first?
- [Gabi] Sure.
547
00:24:15,792 --> 00:24:18,667
- [mouthing] Period.
- You gonna ask if Tara and Nikki can come?
548
00:24:18,750 --> 00:24:19,750
[Lydia] Oh.
549
00:24:20,250 --> 00:24:23,458
Oh. Um, I mean, I don't think so.
550
00:24:23,542 --> 00:24:25,375
Bringing three people
would be, like, a lot.
551
00:24:25,458 --> 00:24:26,833
- Yeah, I agree.
- Yeah.
552
00:24:27,458 --> 00:24:28,458
[Lydia squealing]
553
00:24:28,542 --> 00:24:29,792
[both vocalizing]
554
00:24:29,875 --> 00:24:32,583
- [both laughing]
- You can't go now.
555
00:24:32,667 --> 00:24:34,083
[upbeat music playing]
556
00:24:36,833 --> 00:24:38,500
Okay. Hurry.
557
00:24:38,583 --> 00:24:39,708
- Hi, Ron.
- [Ronnie] Hi.
558
00:24:39,792 --> 00:24:42,167
- Should I wear a jacket with this?
- No. Where are you going?
559
00:24:42,250 --> 00:24:43,583
Kym Chang-Cohen's.
560
00:24:43,667 --> 00:24:46,708
Oh wow. First rule of going
to a cool kid's house, don't disagree.
561
00:24:46,792 --> 00:24:47,667
Don't get too excited.
562
00:24:47,750 --> 00:24:48,750
- Got it. Thanks.
- Cool.
563
00:24:48,833 --> 00:24:50,394
[Ronnie] Oh, Dad left pads on your bed.
564
00:24:50,458 --> 00:24:52,875
They're enormous.
I almost thought they were pillows.
565
00:24:52,958 --> 00:24:53,875
Are you joking?
566
00:24:53,958 --> 00:24:55,750
[Lydia laughing] That's funny.
567
00:24:55,833 --> 00:24:58,875
["Valley of the Dolls"
by Santigold playing]
568
00:25:02,792 --> 00:25:04,292
[Lydia squealing] Oh my God.
569
00:25:04,375 --> 00:25:06,750
[Stacy] Remember.
Don't disagree. Don't get too excited.
570
00:25:07,250 --> 00:25:11,417
[cell phones beeping, chiming]
571
00:25:12,875 --> 00:25:14,917
[inaudible]
572
00:25:17,250 --> 00:25:19,417
So, Lydia, any crushes?
573
00:25:20,708 --> 00:25:22,292
Oh, uh…
574
00:25:23,042 --> 00:25:26,583
No, not really. There's not a lot
of options for boys in our grade.
575
00:25:26,667 --> 00:25:28,375
- You know?
- [both chuckling awkwardly]
576
00:25:29,417 --> 00:25:31,333
Oh, so you only like boys?
577
00:25:31,417 --> 00:25:33,542
Uh, I think so.
578
00:25:33,625 --> 00:25:35,458
Don't worry. Some of us are straight too.
579
00:25:35,542 --> 00:25:36,542
Cool.
580
00:25:37,333 --> 00:25:38,667
I don't disagree.
581
00:25:43,167 --> 00:25:44,667
Yeah, Stacy, what about you?
582
00:25:45,333 --> 00:25:46,333
Who do you like?
583
00:25:47,625 --> 00:25:49,750
Uh, no one, really.
584
00:25:53,500 --> 00:25:57,500
Uh, people are coming to my house tomorrow
if you want to come. Nothing big.
585
00:25:57,583 --> 00:25:58,625
Sounds chill.
586
00:25:59,208 --> 00:26:01,292
You guys have to come.
It'll be freaking amazing!
587
00:26:01,375 --> 00:26:02,750
Her house is so cool.
588
00:26:06,250 --> 00:26:07,792
I mean, it'll be a'ight.
589
00:26:07,875 --> 00:26:11,708
[clearing throat] Uh, anyways, we should
probably wash this off before we go.
590
00:26:11,792 --> 00:26:14,708
- Uh, we have to change before we leave.
- Where are we going?
591
00:26:14,792 --> 00:26:16,208
To the ledge.
592
00:26:17,417 --> 00:26:19,417
[girls chattering indistinctly]
593
00:26:22,417 --> 00:26:24,250
- No way.
- We'll be careful.
594
00:26:24,333 --> 00:26:25,458
I don't want to die.
595
00:26:25,542 --> 00:26:27,250
- We have to. We can't disagree.
- What?
596
00:26:27,333 --> 00:26:28,333
Don't act excited!
597
00:26:28,417 --> 00:26:29,833
[Kym] Andy will be there.
598
00:26:33,917 --> 00:26:35,667
Come on, Lydia, can't you do this for me?
599
00:26:35,750 --> 00:26:37,833
I already got you invited here.
Isn't that enough?
600
00:26:40,417 --> 00:26:41,792
I didn't mean it like that.
601
00:26:41,875 --> 00:26:43,333
You guys coming or what?
602
00:26:43,417 --> 00:26:44,583
Yeah, I'm down.
603
00:26:46,542 --> 00:26:48,542
["Obxessed" by Fire Choir playing]
604
00:26:55,875 --> 00:26:58,250
[girls chattering indistinctly]
605
00:26:58,333 --> 00:27:00,000
♪ It's irresistible ♪
606
00:27:00,083 --> 00:27:02,375
♪ I'm so stuck on you ♪
607
00:27:03,292 --> 00:27:06,375
Ugh, my mom said I have to wait a year
before I can get lip filler.
608
00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:08,750
She said you can have Botox.
Just use that on your lips.
609
00:27:08,833 --> 00:27:09,833
[girl] Yeah.
610
00:27:11,375 --> 00:27:13,375
♪ I might be a little obsessed ♪
611
00:27:15,458 --> 00:27:16,750
[both squealing quietly]
612
00:27:18,583 --> 00:27:20,000
Look who's here!
613
00:27:20,083 --> 00:27:21,792
♪ I might be a little obsessed ♪
614
00:27:22,292 --> 00:27:24,917
["Nikes On" by Healy playing]
615
00:27:25,500 --> 00:27:28,292
♪ What's a feeling
Without someone to feel it? ♪
616
00:27:28,375 --> 00:27:31,250
♪ What's appealing?
Sleep in on the weekend ♪
617
00:27:31,333 --> 00:27:33,958
♪ Home solo, spinning on the ceiling ♪
618
00:27:34,667 --> 00:27:36,208
♪ And every day is the same ♪
619
00:27:36,292 --> 00:27:38,958
♪ When the name of the game's
Break sweat to break even ♪
620
00:27:39,042 --> 00:27:39,958
[song stops]
621
00:27:40,042 --> 00:27:41,333
[Andy] What up, what up?
622
00:27:43,458 --> 00:27:44,458
What's good?
623
00:27:45,750 --> 00:27:46,750
Hi, Stacy.
624
00:27:47,375 --> 00:27:48,208
Hey, Mateo.
625
00:27:48,292 --> 00:27:51,542
Yo, we just had soccer,
and we kicked St. Catherine's ass, 3-0.
626
00:27:51,625 --> 00:27:52,958
Even though their field sucks.
627
00:27:53,042 --> 00:27:55,292
Yeah, that field is so lopsided.
628
00:27:57,042 --> 00:27:58,042
Exactly.
629
00:27:58,792 --> 00:27:59,792
Uh,
630
00:28:00,250 --> 00:28:01,250
how's your head?
631
00:28:06,208 --> 00:28:08,875
It's, um… it's still on her body, so…
632
00:28:09,458 --> 00:28:10,625
Yeah, we love that.
633
00:28:10,708 --> 00:28:13,167
And I'm not barfing, so, yeah.
634
00:28:14,833 --> 00:28:15,833
[Mateo chuckling]
635
00:28:15,917 --> 00:28:17,917
Uh, anyways…
636
00:28:18,833 --> 00:28:20,250
What's up? I'm Andy.
637
00:28:20,333 --> 00:28:23,292
Uh, I know. We, uh…
we go to Hebrew school together. Lydia.
638
00:28:23,375 --> 00:28:24,583
We do?
639
00:28:24,667 --> 00:28:25,875
Yeah.
640
00:28:27,333 --> 00:28:29,500
[Aaron] I dare one of you guys to jump in!
641
00:28:29,583 --> 00:28:30,958
Come on! Let's go.
642
00:28:31,042 --> 00:28:32,309
[Mateo] Jump off the ledge, Aaron?
643
00:28:32,333 --> 00:28:34,917
You'd break both legs on impact
and your spine.
644
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:36,833
Yeah, I heard
Melissa Quinto's cousin jumped,
645
00:28:36,917 --> 00:28:39,292
and she now has to text
with her nose, so, no.
646
00:28:39,375 --> 00:28:41,167
Looks like it might be fun.
647
00:28:41,250 --> 00:28:42,708
[tense music playing]
648
00:28:42,792 --> 00:28:44,625
Hey, I'd jump
if I didn't have my contacts in.
649
00:28:44,708 --> 00:28:47,125
Oh, I'd be happy
to hold them for you, Aaron.
650
00:28:47,208 --> 00:28:49,208
[all laughing]
651
00:28:50,667 --> 00:28:53,708
Oh shit. You can't see.
652
00:28:53,792 --> 00:28:55,375
[tense music swelling]
653
00:28:56,417 --> 00:28:57,417
I'll do it.
654
00:28:58,583 --> 00:28:59,583
What?
655
00:29:00,542 --> 00:29:01,625
[Andy] You'd jump in?
656
00:29:01,708 --> 00:29:03,917
That… that's sick.
657
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,083
Let's see it.
658
00:29:05,167 --> 00:29:07,417
[upbeat electronic music playing]
659
00:29:07,500 --> 00:29:08,500
Okay.
660
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:10,792
- No way, no way.
- Oh shit.
661
00:29:10,875 --> 00:29:12,708
[Aaron] If she jumps, it's my idea, guys.
662
00:29:12,792 --> 00:29:14,750
[boy] We don't know if that's shallow.
663
00:29:14,833 --> 00:29:16,833
[kids murmuring]
664
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,375
- She's not gonna do it.
- She's not gonna do it.
665
00:29:34,458 --> 00:29:36,708
- If she dies, we weren't here.
- Hell no.
666
00:29:36,792 --> 00:29:39,000
- [girl] She's a scaredy-cat.
- [boy] She's stalling.
667
00:29:39,542 --> 00:29:42,792
Stacy, you said we'd be careful. Please.
668
00:29:43,292 --> 00:29:44,292
Is Andy watching?
669
00:29:45,833 --> 00:29:47,500
[indistinct chatter]
670
00:29:47,583 --> 00:29:49,125
Everyone is watching!
671
00:29:50,542 --> 00:29:53,667
Friedman! Yo, you got this! Let's go!
672
00:29:53,750 --> 00:29:54,583
[kids cheering]
673
00:29:54,667 --> 00:29:56,667
- [Andy] Let's get it!
- Stacy, do not do this to me.
674
00:29:56,708 --> 00:30:00,250
If you die, your parents will kill me.
I swear to God. Stacy! No!
675
00:30:00,333 --> 00:30:01,917
- [music stops]
- [inaudible]
676
00:30:09,625 --> 00:30:12,125
- Oh my God!
- Holy shit!
677
00:30:12,208 --> 00:30:13,792
- My God!
- Oh my God!
678
00:30:16,833 --> 00:30:18,000
[kids clamoring]
679
00:30:18,083 --> 00:30:19,208
[Lydia] Stacy!
680
00:30:19,875 --> 00:30:21,167
- Stacy!
- Oh shit!
681
00:30:22,042 --> 00:30:23,708
[girl] That was unreal!
682
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:27,958
- [boy] Stacy!
- Woohoo!
683
00:30:28,042 --> 00:30:29,042
[Stacy gasping]
684
00:30:29,125 --> 00:30:30,667
- That was my idea!
- Yo, shut up!
685
00:30:30,750 --> 00:30:33,250
Yo, Stacy Friedman!
686
00:30:33,333 --> 00:30:35,542
You're a fricken' legend!
687
00:30:35,625 --> 00:30:37,500
That's how I do it!
688
00:30:38,083 --> 00:30:40,125
[kids chattering indistinctly]
689
00:30:40,208 --> 00:30:41,833
What is that?
690
00:30:42,333 --> 00:30:43,708
[kids quieting]
691
00:30:44,542 --> 00:30:46,542
[dramatic music playing]
692
00:30:47,708 --> 00:30:50,042
[Andy] Oh, disgusting.
693
00:30:50,125 --> 00:30:53,583
Yo, Stacy just turned the ledge
into the Red Sea.
694
00:30:53,667 --> 00:30:55,417
[kids laughing]
695
00:30:58,833 --> 00:30:59,833
[Anya] Chill out.
696
00:30:59,875 --> 00:31:01,833
It's just a period, guys.
It happens every month.
697
00:31:01,917 --> 00:31:03,292
That looks like two months.
698
00:31:03,375 --> 00:31:05,333
You couldn't deal
with having a period, Aaron.
699
00:31:05,417 --> 00:31:06,417
Yeah, you punk.
700
00:31:06,500 --> 00:31:07,958
Wait, what'd I even do?
701
00:31:08,542 --> 00:31:10,333
[kids chuckling]
702
00:31:10,417 --> 00:31:11,542
[Stacy exhaling]
703
00:31:12,042 --> 00:31:14,042
[scattered chuckling]
704
00:31:20,500 --> 00:31:22,208
Thanks for laughing with everyone.
705
00:31:23,375 --> 00:31:24,708
I wasn't laughing.
706
00:31:24,792 --> 00:31:26,083
Yes, you were.
707
00:31:26,167 --> 00:31:28,917
Stacy, it's not that big of a deal.
Just take my sweatshirt.
708
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,833
Not a big deal? That was humiliating!
Andy looked at me like...
709
00:31:31,917 --> 00:31:34,208
You're a badass!
That's all anyone was thinking.
710
00:31:34,292 --> 00:31:36,625
No, whatever. I'm over him.
711
00:31:38,458 --> 00:31:39,625
Call it.
712
00:31:39,708 --> 00:31:42,250
- Stacy, think this through.
- I did. Call it.
713
00:31:42,875 --> 00:31:43,875
[Lydia scoffing]
714
00:31:46,083 --> 00:31:47,167
5:23.
715
00:31:47,250 --> 00:31:50,750
Stacy Friedman's crush
on Andy Goldfarb has ended.
716
00:31:50,833 --> 00:31:54,042
Time of death, 5:23 p.m.
717
00:31:54,125 --> 00:31:55,792
Okay, let's just go.
718
00:31:55,875 --> 00:31:57,750
No, you just stay with your new friends.
719
00:31:57,833 --> 00:31:59,375
What? What are you talking about?
720
00:31:59,458 --> 00:32:01,708
Oh my God, stop! You didn't have my back.
Just admit it!
721
00:32:01,792 --> 00:32:04,333
You stop. I told you not to jump.
I didn't even want to be here.
722
00:32:04,417 --> 00:32:06,708
Only because you already got them
to come to your party!
723
00:32:06,792 --> 00:32:10,125
- You're being so dramatic right now!
- You're such a wannabe right now!
724
00:32:11,750 --> 00:32:13,333
I'm freezing. I'm gonna go.
725
00:32:13,417 --> 00:32:16,083
Wow, Stacy. I can't even.
726
00:32:16,167 --> 00:32:17,583
I can't even, even more.
727
00:32:17,667 --> 00:32:19,667
[somber music playing]
728
00:32:20,458 --> 00:32:21,500
[music fades]
729
00:32:21,583 --> 00:32:22,768
[Danny] What you gonna do, sweets?
730
00:32:22,792 --> 00:32:24,432
[Bree] Sending out the invitations today.
731
00:32:24,500 --> 00:32:27,125
I have to get my hair dyed...
Oh, will you call DJ Schmuley?
732
00:32:27,208 --> 00:32:29,875
He's asking for a green room and per diem.
733
00:32:29,958 --> 00:32:31,792
And he may or may not have hit on me.
734
00:32:31,875 --> 00:32:33,708
Well, I may or may not punch him
in the face.
735
00:32:33,792 --> 00:32:35,712
- Yeah, okay. [chuckling]
- Let me handle Schmuley.
736
00:32:35,792 --> 00:32:37,917
So, you, I'm going to the movies.
You want to come?
737
00:32:38,625 --> 00:32:41,167
Too weird being
at a movie theater alone with my dad.
738
00:32:41,250 --> 00:32:44,125
Okay, you never want to be with me again?
What are you gonna do all day?
739
00:32:44,208 --> 00:32:48,042
Zaara's coming over, and we're going to
online shop and then take a nap outside.
740
00:32:48,792 --> 00:32:50,000
And that's not weird to you?
741
00:32:50,083 --> 00:32:52,500
We're tired from frickin' school all week!
742
00:32:53,667 --> 00:32:57,375
Honey, go have quality time with
your younger daughter who still loves you.
743
00:32:57,458 --> 00:32:58,893
- [Danny] Yeah.
- Okay? Have a good day.
744
00:32:58,917 --> 00:33:00,792
This one scares me.
745
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,417
- Miss you already, Daddy!
- [Danny] Do ya? Great.
746
00:33:07,042 --> 00:33:09,042
[music playing on phone]
747
00:33:11,583 --> 00:33:13,583
[indistinct cheering, chatter on phone]
748
00:33:15,583 --> 00:33:17,542
Oh my God!
749
00:33:17,625 --> 00:33:19,833
[inaudible]
750
00:33:24,333 --> 00:33:27,625
[hip-hop music playing]
751
00:33:32,292 --> 00:33:33,333
[cell phone chiming]
752
00:33:36,417 --> 00:33:37,667
[knocking on door]
753
00:33:37,750 --> 00:33:40,250
- We ready in there, buddy?
- [Stacy] One second, Dad!
754
00:33:41,042 --> 00:33:42,208
[Stacy exhaling]
755
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:54,333
[cell phone beeping]
756
00:33:56,417 --> 00:33:57,333
[knocking on door]
757
00:33:57,417 --> 00:33:59,875
Don't do this to me. Let's go!
758
00:33:59,958 --> 00:34:01,042
[Stacy] Coming!
759
00:34:04,625 --> 00:34:05,708
[Danny] Bubie, I'm psyched.
760
00:34:05,792 --> 00:34:08,667
I'm psyched about the popcorn.
Lots of butter.
761
00:34:09,458 --> 00:34:11,417
Lots of anger after I finish it.
762
00:34:11,500 --> 00:34:14,583
- Lots of oil on my face.
- Dad, can I skip the movies?
763
00:34:14,667 --> 00:34:17,707
You wanna skip the movie? How come?
You don't want to be seen with me either?
764
00:34:17,750 --> 00:34:21,042
No, no, no. I just need to talk to Lydia.
Can you drop me at her house?
765
00:34:22,042 --> 00:34:23,125
Sure, buddy.
766
00:34:24,250 --> 00:34:26,333
What's the matter? Something bugging you?
767
00:34:27,375 --> 00:34:29,167
It'll be fine. Whatever it is.
768
00:34:31,458 --> 00:34:33,792
Here. Don't tell your mother.
Have some coffee.
769
00:34:34,375 --> 00:34:36,417
One sip… [yelling] I gotcha.
770
00:34:36,500 --> 00:34:37,667
- [laughing]
- Gotcha.
771
00:34:37,750 --> 00:34:39,667
[light music playing]
772
00:34:40,583 --> 00:34:44,667
- [Danny] All right. Have fun. I love you.
- [Stacy] Thank you. Love you.
773
00:34:44,750 --> 00:34:46,667
I'll just be all alone
at the movies,
774
00:34:46,750 --> 00:34:49,083
crying and eating a bucket
of Sour Patch Kids!
775
00:34:49,167 --> 00:34:52,042
- A'ight!
- [Danny] Okay. Text me if you need me.
776
00:34:52,125 --> 00:34:53,167
I will!
777
00:34:55,250 --> 00:34:57,250
[hip-hop music playing over stereo]
778
00:35:01,167 --> 00:35:03,250
["Past Life" by Arkellis playing]
779
00:35:08,625 --> 00:35:10,042
♪ Feeling like I'm falling ♪
780
00:35:10,125 --> 00:35:13,000
♪ I've been getting uptight
Staring at the ceiling ♪
781
00:35:13,083 --> 00:35:16,875
♪ Trying to get it just right
You know what's on mind ♪
782
00:35:16,958 --> 00:35:20,042
♪ I can't look you in the eye ♪
783
00:35:20,125 --> 00:35:23,083
♪ I'm getting on the freeway
Underneath the night sky ♪
784
00:35:23,167 --> 00:35:25,917
♪ I'm a little wallflower
Singing "One Headlight" ♪
785
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,375
♪ Looking for a sign ♪
786
00:35:28,458 --> 00:35:31,167
♪ Superstition made me blind ♪
787
00:35:31,250 --> 00:35:33,750
♪ I'm sick of running from a past life ♪
788
00:35:34,333 --> 00:35:36,500
♪ I don't care about the next one ♪
789
00:35:37,083 --> 00:35:39,542
♪ Right now I'm feeling like a stranger ♪
790
00:35:40,292 --> 00:35:41,917
♪ Don't recognize the voice inside my… ♪
791
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:45,625
- [girl] Oh. Uh, Stacy, you would know.
- Uh, how do you turn on the jacuzzi jets?
792
00:35:46,208 --> 00:35:48,000
Uh, the switch is in the pantry.
793
00:35:48,083 --> 00:35:50,000
- The pantry?
- Pantry?
794
00:35:50,083 --> 00:35:52,250
[indistinct chatter]
795
00:35:54,208 --> 00:35:56,667
♪ Don't recognize the voice
Inside my head ♪
796
00:35:56,750 --> 00:35:59,083
♪ 'Cause I've been running
From a past life ♪
797
00:35:59,583 --> 00:36:02,875
♪ I wanna live
I wanna live this life instead ♪
798
00:36:07,125 --> 00:36:08,583
Oh my God.
799
00:36:13,208 --> 00:36:14,417
Oh my God.
800
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:23,500
- [Lydia] Stacy! Stacy!
- [Aaron] Oh, snap.
801
00:36:23,583 --> 00:36:26,042
Yo, shit just got real. [chuckling]
802
00:36:26,958 --> 00:36:27,958
[Lydia] Stacy.
803
00:36:28,292 --> 00:36:29,792
Stacy, he kissed me!
804
00:36:29,875 --> 00:36:31,375
You don't even like him!
805
00:36:32,375 --> 00:36:34,476
You're like David and Bathsheba,
and you're the snake.
806
00:36:34,500 --> 00:36:36,417
- I'm sorry, okay. I...
- Stop talking!
807
00:36:36,500 --> 00:36:38,380
Let me explain? Please?
I haven't done anything.
808
00:36:38,417 --> 00:36:40,500
No! Let me explain some things to you.
809
00:36:40,583 --> 00:36:42,875
First of all, we are no longer friends.
810
00:36:42,958 --> 00:36:47,208
Second of all, I am definitely not doing
your entrance video.
811
00:36:47,833 --> 00:36:50,667
- Stacy.
- Oh! And one more thing…
812
00:36:52,167 --> 00:36:56,708
Lydia Rodriguez Katz,
you are so not invited to my Bat Mitzvah.
813
00:36:58,875 --> 00:37:01,250
Good! Have fun without me!
814
00:37:02,292 --> 00:37:03,292
[sniffling]
815
00:37:04,583 --> 00:37:05,625
[Andy laughing]
816
00:37:07,333 --> 00:37:08,542
[crying]
817
00:37:09,042 --> 00:37:11,708
[Stacy, narrating]
Dear God, Stacy Friedman here.
818
00:37:12,208 --> 00:37:15,458
And what the hell?
819
00:37:16,375 --> 00:37:17,958
How could you do this to me?
820
00:37:18,042 --> 00:37:19,958
["traitor" by Olivia Rodrigo playing]
821
00:37:26,750 --> 00:37:30,792
♪ Brown guilty eyes
And little white lies ♪
822
00:37:30,875 --> 00:37:34,667
♪ Yeah, I played dumb but I always knew ♪
823
00:37:36,208 --> 00:37:40,500
♪ That you talked to her
Maybe did even worse ♪
824
00:37:40,583 --> 00:37:43,042
♪ I kept quiet so I could keep you ♪
825
00:37:43,125 --> 00:37:44,125
[Stacy sniffling]
826
00:37:45,208 --> 00:37:48,000
♪ You betrayed me ♪
827
00:37:48,083 --> 00:37:54,167
♪ And I know that you'll never feel sorry
For the way I hurt, yeah ♪
828
00:37:54,250 --> 00:37:55,375
Okay, bye, Stacy.
829
00:37:56,250 --> 00:37:57,167
[Zaara gasping]
830
00:37:57,250 --> 00:37:59,667
Oh, oh, Z. It's okay. Go back to bed.
831
00:37:59,750 --> 00:38:02,375
- [Zaara moaning]
- You're fine. I promise. You're fine.
832
00:38:02,875 --> 00:38:04,875
- ♪ But that didn't matter ♪
- [inaudible]
833
00:38:04,958 --> 00:38:09,667
♪ It took you two weeks
To go off and date her ♪
834
00:38:09,750 --> 00:38:12,833
♪ Guess you didn't cheat
But you're still a traitor ♪
835
00:38:12,917 --> 00:38:15,292
[Nikki] Stacy, wait up. Stace, wait up.
836
00:38:15,375 --> 00:38:17,083
Are you okay? What happened?
837
00:38:17,167 --> 00:38:19,792
Yeah. Everybody keeps asking us
if you need a double-X tampon.
838
00:38:19,875 --> 00:38:21,958
- I'm fine.
- [Tara] Are you sure, Stace?
839
00:38:22,042 --> 00:38:24,583
'Cause your best friend's
dating your crush.
840
00:38:24,667 --> 00:38:26,583
They're not dating. It was just one kiss.
841
00:38:26,667 --> 00:38:28,851
Oh, I heard he touched her underboob
in PE this morning.
842
00:38:28,875 --> 00:38:30,542
- Tara…
- [scoffing] It's fine, guys.
843
00:38:30,625 --> 00:38:32,583
Junior high gossip. Never ends.
844
00:38:36,167 --> 00:38:38,500
["Riot Rhythm" by Sleigh Bells playing]
845
00:38:41,208 --> 00:38:43,208
[inaudible]
846
00:38:55,833 --> 00:38:57,792
- Okay, well, when did that start?
- [song stops]
847
00:38:58,417 --> 00:38:59,917
Her party this weekend.
848
00:39:00,500 --> 00:39:01,750
She had the party?
849
00:39:01,833 --> 00:39:03,583
Guess so. She didn't invite us.
850
00:39:03,667 --> 00:39:06,083
No surprise, because they were
awfully chummy laughing
851
00:39:06,167 --> 00:39:08,417
at my near-death experience at the ledge.
852
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:11,000
You guys went to the ledge with Andy?
853
00:39:12,958 --> 00:39:15,208
Oh, it's just the ledge.
It was last minute.
854
00:39:15,708 --> 00:39:16,708
[Tara] Hmm.
855
00:39:17,917 --> 00:39:19,750
- Come on, Tara. Let's go.
- Yeah.
856
00:39:22,583 --> 00:39:25,417
Okay, today we're going
to be talking about tikkun olam.
857
00:39:25,500 --> 00:39:26,821
Does anyone know what that means?
858
00:39:27,458 --> 00:39:28,375
Kym!
859
00:39:28,458 --> 00:39:30,958
If God exists,
then how do you explain climate change?
860
00:39:33,333 --> 00:39:35,792
It's actually an amazing question. Um...
861
00:39:35,875 --> 00:39:38,750
Yeah, and why can't straight people
get on gay TikTok? It's way funnier.
862
00:39:38,833 --> 00:39:42,125
And if God loves me, then why
is he always giving me so many zits.
863
00:39:42,208 --> 00:39:44,059
And why does Apple
keep changing their chargers?
864
00:39:44,083 --> 00:39:46,364
And why did my dad's doctor operate
on the wrong shoulder?
865
00:39:46,417 --> 00:39:48,667
And why do I have to share a room
with my grandma?
866
00:39:50,333 --> 00:39:51,958
[Rebecca] Okay, okay, okay.
867
00:39:52,042 --> 00:39:56,458
I think I can explain zits
and climate change and gay TikTok.
868
00:39:56,542 --> 00:39:58,583
- [Lydia] She scares me sometimes.
- [Andy] You too?
869
00:39:58,667 --> 00:40:00,542
- [drawer closing]
- [maracas shaking]
870
00:40:00,625 --> 00:40:02,125
Musically!
871
00:40:02,208 --> 00:40:08,333
♪ If God is real, then why is there war? ♪
872
00:40:09,042 --> 00:40:12,042
♪ Why is there injustice? ♪
873
00:40:12,125 --> 00:40:14,500
♪ Why are people poor? ♪
874
00:40:15,167 --> 00:40:20,625
♪ And why have I had a yeast infection ♪
875
00:40:20,708 --> 00:40:25,833
♪ for a solid 11 years? ♪
876
00:40:25,917 --> 00:40:28,583
♪ The answer is clear ♪
877
00:40:31,750 --> 00:40:33,708
- ♪ God is random ♪
- [scattered laughter]
878
00:40:33,792 --> 00:40:35,625
♪ God is random ♪
879
00:40:35,708 --> 00:40:37,208
♪ God is random sauce ♪
880
00:40:37,292 --> 00:40:38,375
Everybody!
881
00:40:38,458 --> 00:40:40,167
[all] ♪ God is random ♪
882
00:40:40,250 --> 00:40:41,792
♪ God is random ♪
883
00:40:42,292 --> 00:40:44,500
Your prayer book
is the playbill, cutie-pops…
884
00:40:44,583 --> 00:40:46,375
[clicking tongue] …razzle-dazzle.
885
00:40:46,458 --> 00:40:47,917
[both chuckling]
886
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,667
- [dramatic music playing]
- [inaudible]
887
00:41:11,333 --> 00:41:12,417
[Rebecca] Seema!
888
00:41:14,667 --> 00:41:17,292
What did Rabbi Rebecca say
about being on your phone?
889
00:41:18,208 --> 00:41:21,083
Right? Aaron knows what I'm talking about.
Come on, dude.
890
00:41:22,583 --> 00:41:24,833
- Yup, Baruch HaShem, Aaron.
- [Aaron] Yes, sir.
891
00:41:25,583 --> 00:41:27,833
- [machinery whirring]
- [rhythmic thumping]
892
00:41:31,458 --> 00:41:34,125
All right, what's going on, young lady?
893
00:41:34,208 --> 00:41:36,917
You used to be such a good,
respectful kid.
894
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:39,792
Now, you're on your phone.
You're not practicing your portion.
895
00:41:39,875 --> 00:41:42,333
Talk to me, sis. [clapping]
What's crappenin'?
896
00:41:43,583 --> 00:41:47,375
Do you know what your portion is about?
Do you understand Ki Tisa?
897
00:41:47,875 --> 00:41:50,750
Yeah. Lots of golden calf talk
and stuff like that.
898
00:41:51,875 --> 00:41:55,917
Yeah, but it's also about becoming
your own individual person.
899
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:58,292
It's about taking responsibilities
for your mistakes.
900
00:41:58,375 --> 00:41:59,625
You know, grown-up stuff?
901
00:42:00,292 --> 00:42:01,917
Let me take a wild guess.
902
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:04,667
You haven't started
your mitzvah project yet either, huh?
903
00:42:05,625 --> 00:42:07,167
I'm narrowing it down.
904
00:42:07,250 --> 00:42:10,542
Seema, I'm telling you,
the sooner you do your mitzvah,
905
00:42:10,625 --> 00:42:13,083
which is a good deed,
a commandment by the way,
906
00:42:13,167 --> 00:42:15,583
the sooner you'll find
things falling into place.
907
00:42:17,458 --> 00:42:19,625
Wait, so, if I do a mitzvah,
God will reward me?
908
00:42:19,708 --> 00:42:22,583
- [panting] No, not reward...
- And he'll give me what I want?
909
00:42:22,667 --> 00:42:24,208
Well, I definitely did not say that.
910
00:42:24,292 --> 00:42:26,875
No, thank you, Rabbi. You helped me
so much. I gotta get to work.
911
00:42:26,958 --> 00:42:28,000
Wait. No, no, no!
912
00:42:28,083 --> 00:42:30,083
Gotta start my journey, Rabbi Rebecca!
913
00:42:30,167 --> 00:42:31,208
Can you get me a Gatorade?
914
00:42:32,833 --> 00:42:34,833
[upbeat music playing]
915
00:42:34,917 --> 00:42:36,875
[indistinct chatter]
916
00:42:48,333 --> 00:42:50,458
[Lydia] Hey, uh, can I sit here?
[girl] Sure.
917
00:43:11,542 --> 00:43:12,542
Hey.
918
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:16,125
You wouldn't happen
to know why people keep asking me
919
00:43:16,208 --> 00:43:18,500
if they can floss their teeth
with my nipple hair today,
920
00:43:18,583 --> 00:43:19,833
do you, Stacy?
921
00:43:19,917 --> 00:43:21,625
Uh, no.
922
00:43:21,708 --> 00:43:24,909
You know, seventh grade is hard enough
without people pointing and laughing at me
923
00:43:24,958 --> 00:43:28,250
whenever I walk down the hall,
screaming out, "Here, comes spider-nips."
924
00:43:28,333 --> 00:43:30,958
Better than, "Here comes Aunt Flow
and the Blood-Pads!"
925
00:43:31,042 --> 00:43:32,322
But that really happened, Stacy.
926
00:43:32,375 --> 00:43:35,250
- How do I know your nipples are hairless?
- Because you do!
927
00:43:37,292 --> 00:43:40,500
Why are you dating him?
I thought it was just one kiss?
928
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:43,667
And stop doing Rabbi Rebecca impressions
to Andy.
929
00:43:43,750 --> 00:43:45,958
That's my impression,
you freaking ripoff artist!
930
00:43:46,042 --> 00:43:49,333
[in funny voice] And I'm the star,
cutie-pops, razzle-dazzle!
931
00:43:49,417 --> 00:43:50,417
[woman laughing]
932
00:43:50,833 --> 00:43:53,708
That sounds so much like her!
Do Cantor Jerry.
933
00:43:54,375 --> 00:43:55,417
I don't know how.
934
00:43:56,458 --> 00:43:58,625
Boo!
935
00:43:58,708 --> 00:44:01,958
- [Ronnie] Um, uh, chicken?
- Ronnie? Ronnie.
936
00:44:02,042 --> 00:44:04,601
Can you help with my mitzvah project?
I need to get on that ASAP.
937
00:44:04,625 --> 00:44:07,417
I'm kind of in the middle of something.
Oh, chicken parmesan!
938
00:44:07,500 --> 00:44:08,417
Correct.
939
00:44:08,500 --> 00:44:11,292
Honey, why don't you and Lydia
do something with the homeless
940
00:44:11,375 --> 00:44:13,458
or volunteer at the animal shelter?
941
00:44:13,542 --> 00:44:16,101
Cause it’s my Bat Mitzvah
and I’m not doing my project with Lydia.
942
00:44:16,125 --> 00:44:17,208
It's a statement about me.
943
00:44:17,292 --> 00:44:19,412
Stace, that's what you said
about the egg roll piñata.
944
00:44:19,458 --> 00:44:21,042
- And the dress.
- And your hair.
945
00:44:21,125 --> 00:44:23,125
Shut up, Zaara. Why are you always here?
946
00:44:23,208 --> 00:44:24,375
- Hey.
- [camera clicking]
947
00:44:24,458 --> 00:44:27,042
Ugh! You guys don't get what this means.
Nobody does.
948
00:44:27,125 --> 00:44:29,125
[Zaara chuckling, exclaiming]
949
00:44:29,208 --> 00:44:30,917
Biggest drama queen in the room?
950
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:33,750
- [Zaara] Correct.
- Oh my God! You're not funny.
951
00:44:33,833 --> 00:44:35,208
Girls, leave her alone.
952
00:44:40,125 --> 00:44:42,542
[Stacy and recording, in Hebrew]
Vayar Aharon
953
00:44:42,625 --> 00:44:46,667
vayiven mizbayach l'fanav
954
00:44:47,167 --> 00:44:49,750
vayikra Aharon
955
00:44:50,375 --> 00:44:52,500
- Ugh. Oh my God.
- [recording continues]
956
00:44:52,583 --> 00:44:53,583
[recording stops]
957
00:44:53,625 --> 00:44:56,208
[both resuming in Hebrew]
Vayar Aharon
958
00:44:56,292 --> 00:44:58,351
- [recording] vayiven mizbayach l'fanav
- [Stacy slips up]
959
00:44:58,375 --> 00:45:00,167
- What the heck?
- [recording stops]
960
00:45:02,417 --> 00:45:03,625
[sighing]
961
00:45:08,042 --> 00:45:10,042
["ABCDEFU" by GAYLE playing]
962
00:45:10,833 --> 00:45:13,417
[mouse clicking]
963
00:45:18,542 --> 00:45:21,182
[Stacy, in recording] If that was you
and a boy, what would you do?
964
00:45:22,167 --> 00:45:23,958
- [Lydia kissing]
- [Stacy laughing]
965
00:45:25,417 --> 00:45:27,226
[Stacy, in recording]
Let's get a closeup of that one.
966
00:45:27,250 --> 00:45:28,542
[Lydia] Hmm. Look at that.
967
00:45:28,625 --> 00:45:30,458
- Mmm, mmm, mmm.
- [both laughing]
968
00:45:31,042 --> 00:45:32,875
[Lydia sniffing deeply, exhaling]
969
00:45:32,958 --> 00:45:36,458
- [Stacy] Why do you always do that?
- [Lydia] I like the way my feet smell!
970
00:45:36,542 --> 00:45:39,000
- She sounds like a lawnmower. So loud!
- [girls giggling]
971
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:43,208
Did you get the full flip?
972
00:45:43,292 --> 00:45:45,892
- [Stacy] I got a full booger.
- Stop. Erase that right now, please.
973
00:45:45,958 --> 00:45:47,167
This is how I'm gonna kiss.
974
00:45:48,083 --> 00:45:50,000
We're waiting for her to pop a pimple.
975
00:45:50,083 --> 00:45:51,917
Oh my God, I think I peed myself.
976
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,292
Kym and Megan and Anya, they suck.
977
00:45:54,375 --> 00:45:55,500
They're very dumb.
978
00:45:55,583 --> 00:45:56,917
Her real toes are hairy.
979
00:45:57,750 --> 00:45:59,167
[voices overlapping]
980
00:45:59,250 --> 00:46:01,250
[Stacy] What is the biggest lie
you've ever told?
981
00:46:01,833 --> 00:46:03,875
Have you ever farted from the front?
982
00:46:03,958 --> 00:46:06,000
- [Tara] Yeah, like your vajayjay?
- Juicy!
983
00:46:06,083 --> 00:46:08,917
- Want me to show you? I have to prepare.
- [Stacy] Yes. Let's see it.
984
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:10,708
[Stacy] Stop. You have an exercise?
985
00:46:11,417 --> 00:46:13,083
[Stacy] No, poor Nikki.
986
00:46:13,167 --> 00:46:14,208
[girls giggling]
987
00:46:14,833 --> 00:46:15,833
[Lydia flatulating]
988
00:46:17,375 --> 00:46:19,292
[Lydia] I was showing them how to queef.
989
00:46:19,375 --> 00:46:20,542
Wha...
990
00:46:34,083 --> 00:46:35,792
You better not show this to anyone.
991
00:46:35,875 --> 00:46:37,833
I swear to God,
if you show this to anyone,
992
00:46:37,917 --> 00:46:39,083
I literally will murder you.
993
00:46:39,167 --> 00:46:40,807
You understand this? You understand that?
994
00:46:40,833 --> 00:46:42,875
- [Stacy] I wouldn't do that.
- [Lydia] Okay, good.
995
00:46:42,958 --> 00:46:43,958
[Stacy] Love you.
996
00:46:47,667 --> 00:46:49,875
Stop, I'm being serious.
This could be dangerous.
997
00:46:49,958 --> 00:46:51,542
[emotional music playing]
998
00:46:51,625 --> 00:46:53,417
[Danny] They're both nuts together.
999
00:46:53,500 --> 00:46:55,625
[Bree] Stacy, stop smothering Lydia.
1000
00:46:55,708 --> 00:46:58,667
- [woman 2] Aw, that's nice!
- [Stacy laughing]
1001
00:46:58,750 --> 00:47:02,083
Thanks for watching. Bye!
1002
00:47:11,833 --> 00:47:14,917
[Stacy and recording, in Hebrew]
Vayar Aharon
1003
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:19,083
vayiven mizbayach l'fanav
1004
00:47:19,167 --> 00:47:21,083
vayikra Aharon
1005
00:47:21,167 --> 00:47:22,375
[in frustration] My lo...
1006
00:47:22,458 --> 00:47:24,667
["Hold Me Down" by the Happy Fits playing]
1007
00:47:24,750 --> 00:47:28,750
♪ I'm here, my love
But I'm floating, baby ♪
1008
00:47:28,833 --> 00:47:31,417
♪ Hold me down tight
When I'm losing my mind… ♪
1009
00:47:31,500 --> 00:47:32,417
[crowd cheering]
1010
00:47:32,500 --> 00:47:37,083
Oh yeah! Mazel tov to Benjamin!
1011
00:47:37,167 --> 00:47:38,833
[all cheering]
1012
00:47:38,917 --> 00:47:40,333
[Aaron] Schmule...
1013
00:47:40,958 --> 00:47:42,000
Hey, Schmuley!
1014
00:47:42,583 --> 00:47:43,583
What, what, what?
1015
00:47:43,667 --> 00:47:46,167
Can you play
"Don't Stop Believing" by Journey?
1016
00:47:47,417 --> 00:47:50,750
Whoa. What a deep cut.
1017
00:47:50,833 --> 00:47:55,417
Get out of here with that shit!
Let Schmuley handle the vibe around here!
1018
00:47:55,500 --> 00:47:57,625
["Wolves" by Selena Gomez playing]
1019
00:47:59,208 --> 00:48:02,375
Make some noise, party people!
1020
00:48:09,375 --> 00:48:10,917
♪ To get to you ♪
1021
00:48:16,917 --> 00:48:19,083
- [woman] Oh. Yeah.
- It's too loud in here.
1022
00:48:19,167 --> 00:48:23,500
You know, we didn't have to suffer with
these Bat Mitzvahs when we were your age.
1023
00:48:23,583 --> 00:48:27,667
We just celebrated with our families,
and poof, you're a woman.
1024
00:48:27,750 --> 00:48:29,667
- Yeah.
- Girls didn't have Bat Mitzvahs?
1025
00:48:29,750 --> 00:48:33,833
My mother told me girls were born
into God's kingdom, so we didn't have to.
1026
00:48:34,542 --> 00:48:37,250
She was full of it.
She was just trying to save money.
1027
00:48:37,333 --> 00:48:39,125
[all laughing]
1028
00:48:39,208 --> 00:48:41,750
[girl screaming]
1029
00:48:43,458 --> 00:48:44,458
Go. Just go.
1030
00:48:45,917 --> 00:48:48,958
Man, that's all-time.
You ever seen Evil Dead 2?
1031
00:48:49,042 --> 00:48:51,542
- Yeah, we saw it. It was weak.
- Yeah, just like you two.
1032
00:48:51,625 --> 00:48:53,875
Ugh. Could you
just let us watch our movie?
1033
00:48:54,625 --> 00:48:55,667
Okay.
1034
00:48:55,750 --> 00:48:58,333
♪ I've been running with the wolves
To get to you ♪
1035
00:48:58,417 --> 00:48:59,583
[both snickering]
1036
00:48:59,667 --> 00:49:01,667
["Hava Nagila" playing]
1037
00:49:01,750 --> 00:49:03,750
[crowd clapping rhythmically]
1038
00:49:07,167 --> 00:49:08,875
[Stacy chuckling]
1039
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:14,083
[Danny] What's going on?
1040
00:49:14,167 --> 00:49:16,101
Why are you hanging out
with us old people right now?
1041
00:49:16,125 --> 00:49:19,083
- Why are you not with your friends?
- I have a stomach ache.
1042
00:49:19,167 --> 00:49:22,375
You have a stomach ache?
All right. I'll get you a ginger ale.
1043
00:49:23,042 --> 00:49:25,667
You're not hot. You feel fine.
1044
00:49:27,125 --> 00:49:28,833
You don't have a stomach ache.
1045
00:49:30,458 --> 00:49:33,042
How come you're not hanging out
with Lydia tonight?
1046
00:49:33,125 --> 00:49:34,125
She betrayed me.
1047
00:49:34,167 --> 00:49:37,417
She kissed my crush,
and then he touched her underboob in PE.
1048
00:49:37,500 --> 00:49:39,417
- Oh.
- Oy, underboob.
1049
00:49:39,500 --> 00:49:41,708
Oh, I got plenty of that.
1050
00:49:41,792 --> 00:49:45,208
Underboob, overboob,
sideboob, behindboob, I got all of it.
1051
00:49:45,292 --> 00:49:46,500
Oh.
1052
00:49:46,583 --> 00:49:48,708
You know, bubelah, when I was young,
1053
00:49:48,792 --> 00:49:52,375
my best friend Susie Rebenstock
and I fought over a boy,
1054
00:49:52,458 --> 00:49:54,125
and I stopped talking to her.
1055
00:49:54,208 --> 00:49:57,208
Fifty years later,
I ran into her brother at Zabar's.
1056
00:49:57,292 --> 00:50:00,083
Turns out,
she threw herself off a roof at 32.
1057
00:50:00,167 --> 00:50:03,042
I let a stupid boy come between us,
1058
00:50:03,125 --> 00:50:05,833
and now she's lying dead
at the bottom of the Chrysler Building.
1059
00:50:05,917 --> 00:50:07,250
Oh my God.
1060
00:50:07,333 --> 00:50:10,167
- It was McDonald's.
- Whatever! You get my point.
1061
00:50:10,667 --> 00:50:13,375
All I'm saying is we girls
have to stick together!
1062
00:50:13,458 --> 00:50:14,625
- Yeah.
- Hear, hear.
1063
00:50:14,708 --> 00:50:16,708
["Hot Girl Bummer" by Blackbear playing]
1064
00:50:20,250 --> 00:50:22,250
[all whimpering]
1065
00:50:23,708 --> 00:50:24,708
Megan!
1066
00:50:26,375 --> 00:50:28,958
Okay. Here, Tatala, huh?
1067
00:50:29,042 --> 00:50:30,500
- Thank you.
- Okay.
1068
00:50:30,583 --> 00:50:31,792
- Hiya, ladies.
- Hello.
1069
00:50:31,875 --> 00:50:33,458
- [Danny] Hey, hey.
- And gentleman.
1070
00:50:33,542 --> 00:50:34,750
[Danny chuckling]
1071
00:50:34,833 --> 00:50:36,208
Mind if I take your extra rolls?
1072
00:50:36,292 --> 00:50:38,583
I'm making up a plate
for Andy Goldfarb's grandmother.
1073
00:50:38,667 --> 00:50:39,958
Oh, that's nice.
1074
00:50:40,042 --> 00:50:42,042
- What a respectful boy you are.
- That's sweet.
1075
00:50:42,125 --> 00:50:43,686
- Here's some basketball rolls.
- Gracias.
1076
00:50:43,750 --> 00:50:46,125
Wait, why are you making a plate
for Andy's grandma?
1077
00:50:46,208 --> 00:50:48,292
She only gets Jell-O
at her retirement home.
1078
00:50:48,375 --> 00:50:52,333
I thought that I'd get real food for Andy
to bring to her when he visits tomorrow.
1079
00:50:52,417 --> 00:50:54,542
Wait, Andy's grandma's
in a retirement home?
1080
00:50:55,500 --> 00:50:56,583
That's awesome.
1081
00:50:57,292 --> 00:50:58,833
Wait, why is that awesome?
1082
00:50:58,917 --> 00:51:00,917
[upbeat music playing]
1083
00:51:21,375 --> 00:51:22,875
Ooh! The bookies are here!
1084
00:51:22,958 --> 00:51:24,042
[Stacy shushing]
1085
00:51:32,417 --> 00:51:35,042
Andy? Oh, hey!
1086
00:51:35,917 --> 00:51:36,917
Yo.
1087
00:51:38,833 --> 00:51:40,375
What are you doing here?
1088
00:51:40,458 --> 00:51:42,333
I'm just visiting my grandma.
1089
00:51:42,417 --> 00:51:46,333
She's taking a nap right now,
so I got to sit here till I get picked up.
1090
00:51:46,417 --> 00:51:48,542
It's so sweet that you visit her.
1091
00:51:48,625 --> 00:51:51,833
Yeah, my moms say
they'll take away my Xbox if I don't. So…
1092
00:51:53,458 --> 00:51:54,542
So…
1093
00:51:55,875 --> 00:51:57,750
Are you excited about your Bar Mitzvah?
1094
00:51:57,833 --> 00:51:59,292
Yeah, it should be all right.
1095
00:51:59,375 --> 00:52:00,792
That's dope.
1096
00:52:03,750 --> 00:52:06,917
Yeah, but Lydia, she's being all salty
1097
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:09,833
'cause she has to miss
some dumb dance competition to go.
1098
00:52:09,917 --> 00:52:11,417
Ugh. I hate how competitive she is.
1099
00:52:11,500 --> 00:52:14,083
It's just like,
why can't it be about the dancing?
1100
00:52:14,167 --> 00:52:17,667
Well, I mean, I play soccer,
and soccer is pretty competitive.
1101
00:52:17,750 --> 00:52:21,542
Uh, well, soccer's a sport.
Dance is an art.
1102
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:24,208
Facts.
1103
00:52:24,792 --> 00:52:25,875
Real talk.
1104
00:52:26,500 --> 00:52:28,125
[cell phone vibrating] Andy Goldfarb.
1105
00:52:28,208 --> 00:52:30,500
Um, yeah. Uber's here. Gotta bounce.
1106
00:52:30,583 --> 00:52:32,542
Okay. So nice running into you.
1107
00:52:32,625 --> 00:52:33,833
Yeah, cool.
1108
00:52:36,958 --> 00:52:38,500
- Hey.
- Yo!
1109
00:52:39,542 --> 00:52:41,500
- [Andy] Too slow, boy!
- Jesus.
1110
00:52:41,583 --> 00:52:45,417
[Andy] Can't guard me.
Ha ha, old man! Goldfarb rules!
1111
00:52:46,875 --> 00:52:49,125
Still waitin' on me bookies!
1112
00:52:49,208 --> 00:52:50,375
It's right here.
1113
00:52:52,250 --> 00:52:53,583
I don't want that one.
1114
00:52:54,250 --> 00:52:56,250
[popcorn popping]
1115
00:53:00,583 --> 00:53:04,417
Hello, Joe. Can you refill
my popcorn please? Extra butter.
1116
00:53:05,042 --> 00:53:06,042
On it.
1117
00:53:08,833 --> 00:53:10,268
[Stacy, echoing in a memory]
I love this Carnivale theme,
1118
00:53:10,292 --> 00:53:12,958
but your Candyland theme
is going to be the best of the year.
1119
00:53:13,042 --> 00:53:15,934
[Lydia, echoing] Well, until your New York
theme puts the entire school to shame!
1120
00:53:15,958 --> 00:53:16,958
[Stacy, echoing] Yeah.
1121
00:53:17,042 --> 00:53:19,143
[Stacy, echoing] Why'd we eat
so many Twizzlers last night?
1122
00:53:19,167 --> 00:53:20,417
[Lydia, echoing] I don't know!
1123
00:53:20,500 --> 00:53:21,500
[Mateo] Hey, Stacy.
1124
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:23,292
Oh, hey, Mateo.
1125
00:53:23,375 --> 00:53:26,250
Hey, can you believe no Bar
or Bat Mitzvah tonight?
1126
00:53:26,333 --> 00:53:27,542
Get to go to the movies.
1127
00:53:27,625 --> 00:53:29,417
[chuckling] What are you seeing?
1128
00:53:29,500 --> 00:53:31,583
I'm not sure. Andy bought the tickets.
1129
00:53:31,667 --> 00:53:33,625
- Andy's here?
- [Mateo] Yeah.
1130
00:53:33,708 --> 00:53:35,250
[indistinct chatter]
1131
00:53:36,417 --> 00:53:39,257
- Sorry, the butter nozzle's jammed.
- No, it's fine. I don't need butter.
1132
00:53:39,292 --> 00:53:41,601
- All good. I know you love butter.
- No, I really don't need butter.
1133
00:53:41,625 --> 00:53:43,583
I'll grab a coat hanger.
This is all fixed.
1134
00:53:43,667 --> 00:53:45,434
- Dude, give me the popcorn!
- [Kym] Stacy Friedman.
1135
00:53:45,458 --> 00:53:47,542
Hey, Kym! What's up?
1136
00:53:48,250 --> 00:53:51,208
Hey, yo, what's poppin'?
How's the bookie business?
1137
00:53:51,292 --> 00:53:53,000
Booming. Still got your Xbox?
1138
00:53:53,583 --> 00:53:54,417
You know it.
1139
00:53:54,500 --> 00:53:55,792
[Stacy] That's what's up.
1140
00:53:56,958 --> 00:53:59,000
[Danny] Bubie, what's taking you so long?
1141
00:53:59,083 --> 00:54:01,292
Is the guy mad at us
for getting three refills?
1142
00:54:01,375 --> 00:54:02,625
Where is that dude?
1143
00:54:02,708 --> 00:54:03,917
Oh, your friends are here.
1144
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:06,500
What's up, everybody?
Nice to see you guys.
1145
00:54:06,583 --> 00:54:09,958
- I like your robe, man!
- Oh yeah, the kid likes the drip.
1146
00:54:10,042 --> 00:54:11,125
I like your taste.
1147
00:54:11,208 --> 00:54:13,167
So I'm gonna go outside and get a blanket
1148
00:54:13,250 --> 00:54:15,500
from the trunk of the car
'cause it's freezing in there.
1149
00:54:15,583 --> 00:54:18,542
We can kind of snuggle
like we used to. All right?
1150
00:54:18,625 --> 00:54:21,833
Always fun, right? Blanket time?
You know what I'm talking about, bro?
1151
00:54:22,750 --> 00:54:24,417
- Wha...
- I see you back there, Lydia.
1152
00:54:24,500 --> 00:54:26,583
- How you doing, kiddo?
- Oh, hey.
1153
00:54:26,667 --> 00:54:29,500
- Love ya. Say hi to your folks.
- Yeah, of course.
1154
00:54:29,583 --> 00:54:31,264
- [Danny] Miss you, buddy.
- [Lydia] See you.
1155
00:54:32,792 --> 00:54:33,917
You... Oh…
1156
00:54:35,500 --> 00:54:37,792
[dramatic music playing]
1157
00:54:44,125 --> 00:54:44,958
[music fades]
1158
00:54:45,042 --> 00:54:46,750
[Tara] Stacy! We're here.
1159
00:54:49,083 --> 00:54:50,292
Did you fall off a motorcycle?
1160
00:54:50,375 --> 00:54:53,476
- Did you eat nuts? Do you need an EpiPen?
- Why do you look like a bad IG filter?
1161
00:54:53,500 --> 00:54:55,208
Can periods happen to your face?
1162
00:54:55,292 --> 00:54:56,500
Shut up. Come in.
1163
00:54:57,042 --> 00:54:59,708
- [Tara] What are you wearing? Oh my God.
- [Nikki] Scandy!
1164
00:54:59,792 --> 00:55:00,667
[Stacy] Guys…
1165
00:55:00,750 --> 00:55:02,500
["Say So" by Doja Cat playing]
1166
00:55:02,583 --> 00:55:04,875
[camera shutter clicking]
1167
00:55:06,208 --> 00:55:08,851
[Nikki] Tara, you're putting the lighting
in the camera. Okay, yeah.
1168
00:55:08,875 --> 00:55:11,643
- Lift it higher. Make sure I'm glowing.
- [Tara] I'm not built for this.
1169
00:55:11,667 --> 00:55:14,500
You know, I really thought we were
just gonna hang out and make slime.
1170
00:55:14,583 --> 00:55:15,917
Oh my God, we're women now.
1171
00:55:17,042 --> 00:55:18,042
Maybe later.
1172
00:55:18,458 --> 00:55:19,458
How does this look?
1173
00:55:20,833 --> 00:55:22,125
Like your goldfish died.
1174
00:55:22,208 --> 00:55:23,208
Hey, just switch it up.
1175
00:55:23,750 --> 00:55:25,042
- [Tara] Okay.
- There you go.
1176
00:55:26,083 --> 00:55:27,958
Seduce me. Okay? Just seduce me.
1177
00:55:28,042 --> 00:55:30,500
Oh, way better. Slay, queen.
1178
00:55:30,583 --> 00:55:32,750
Guys, this is so lame.
1179
00:55:32,833 --> 00:55:35,476
I thought we could be, like,
this iconic best friend trio, you know?
1180
00:55:35,500 --> 00:55:37,333
Now that Lydia broke up with you and all.
1181
00:55:38,333 --> 00:55:42,042
Uh-oh. Now you look like all the goldfish
in the world just died.
1182
00:55:42,125 --> 00:55:45,583
[sighing] No, it's fine. Let's just take
more pictures and then change outfits.
1183
00:55:45,667 --> 00:55:47,958
- [Tara] There's more outfits?
- That's... Okay. Yeah.
1184
00:55:48,042 --> 00:55:49,500
[girls coughing]
1185
00:55:50,125 --> 00:55:51,925
- [Tara] Are you serious?
- [Nikki] Geez, Stace.
1186
00:55:51,958 --> 00:55:54,042
[Ronnie] Whoa, what is happening?
1187
00:55:54,583 --> 00:55:56,167
Uh, taking pictures.
1188
00:55:56,250 --> 00:55:57,667
You look insane.
1189
00:55:57,750 --> 00:55:59,958
Uh, we're gonna go get some boba
and then watch a movie,
1190
00:56:00,042 --> 00:56:01,333
Evil Dead 2, if you wanna come.
1191
00:56:01,417 --> 00:56:02,833
- Yeah, just...
- Oh, thank God.
1192
00:56:02,917 --> 00:56:03,917
Yes!
1193
00:56:03,958 --> 00:56:05,833
What happened to your armpits?
1194
00:56:05,917 --> 00:56:08,250
Oh, I shaved this morning.
It did not go well.
1195
00:56:08,833 --> 00:56:10,958
It's fine! I didn't need you anyway.
1196
00:56:16,125 --> 00:56:18,125
[contemplative music playing]
1197
00:56:19,042 --> 00:56:20,625
[Stacy] Don't you love puzzles?
1198
00:56:21,958 --> 00:56:23,125
Puzzles are corny.
1199
00:56:23,625 --> 00:56:24,958
Facts.
1200
00:56:25,500 --> 00:56:26,833
[music fades]
1201
00:56:32,667 --> 00:56:35,875
I have a question. Is Lydia a good kisser?
1202
00:56:37,333 --> 00:56:38,333
She's a'ight.
1203
00:56:39,208 --> 00:56:40,667
A'ight? Huh.
1204
00:56:41,375 --> 00:56:43,500
Probably because you were her first kiss.
1205
00:56:43,583 --> 00:56:46,708
No, she's told me she's kissed a bunch
of guys before.
1206
00:56:47,417 --> 00:56:48,417
At camp?
1207
00:56:49,333 --> 00:56:50,250
Yes.
1208
00:56:50,333 --> 00:56:54,333
Does her tight-lipped technique
suggest a high level of experience?
1209
00:56:54,417 --> 00:56:57,792
Nah, it's like she thinks she's kissing
a stuffed animal or something.
1210
00:56:57,875 --> 00:57:00,417
Plus, every time I try to move my hand,
she starts laughing,
1211
00:57:00,500 --> 00:57:01,750
says she's mad ticklish.
1212
00:57:01,833 --> 00:57:04,375
[scoffing] You have the patience
of a saint.
1213
00:57:04,917 --> 00:57:06,125
A Jewish saint.
1214
00:57:07,833 --> 00:57:08,833
True.
1215
00:57:10,292 --> 00:57:12,292
[dramatic music playing]
1216
00:57:12,917 --> 00:57:14,333
Twenty points for me.
1217
00:57:14,417 --> 00:57:15,667
Get it, Grandma.
1218
00:57:15,750 --> 00:57:18,708
Want a picture of you and your grandma
to prove to your moms you're here?
1219
00:57:19,375 --> 00:57:22,042
Uh, yeah. That's low-key a good idea.
1220
00:57:24,042 --> 00:57:25,042
Okay.
1221
00:57:30,167 --> 00:57:31,625
[camera shutter clicking]
1222
00:57:31,708 --> 00:57:33,500
- [Andy] Yeah, Grandma.
- Hilarious.
1223
00:57:34,250 --> 00:57:36,051
I have to prove
to Rabbi Rebecca I'm here too.
1224
00:57:36,125 --> 00:57:38,125
I'm volunteering for my mitzvah project.
1225
00:57:38,208 --> 00:57:40,125
- That's what's up.
- Here, I'll send it to you.
1226
00:57:40,625 --> 00:57:43,292
- For sure.
- Oh, shoot. I just sent you more pics.
1227
00:57:43,375 --> 00:57:45,208
- Just ignore.
- [cell phone] Andy Goldfarb.
1228
00:57:53,375 --> 00:57:54,667
Nice.
1229
00:57:57,958 --> 00:57:59,250
[music fades]
1230
00:58:00,083 --> 00:58:02,792
- [Stacy] That one's way too big on me.
- Okey-dokey.
1231
00:58:02,875 --> 00:58:04,542
[pop music playing over radio]
1232
00:58:04,625 --> 00:58:07,167
Well, why don't you try the strapless one?
1233
00:58:07,250 --> 00:58:08,250
[Stacy groaning]
1234
00:58:08,958 --> 00:58:12,042
[Bree] So, how's Lydia's entrance video
coming along?
1235
00:58:13,417 --> 00:58:15,042
I finished it this weekend.
1236
00:58:15,125 --> 00:58:16,125
[Bree] Great!
1237
00:58:16,667 --> 00:58:17,542
No.
1238
00:58:17,625 --> 00:58:18,792
Why is it a no?
1239
00:58:18,875 --> 00:58:20,458
[Stacy] Just... it's just a no.
1240
00:58:20,542 --> 00:58:22,625
Well, okay, then try the last one on.
1241
00:58:22,708 --> 00:58:24,208
No, that's the worst one!
1242
00:58:24,292 --> 00:58:25,500
[Bree] Well, just try it!
1243
00:58:25,583 --> 00:58:26,750
[whining] Oh my God.
1244
00:58:26,833 --> 00:58:29,542
- [sighing heavily]
- [Stacy] It's so ugly, Mom.
1245
00:58:29,625 --> 00:58:31,583
Maybe it'll look good when it's on you.
1246
00:58:33,875 --> 00:58:36,125
[gasping] Oh.
1247
00:58:37,458 --> 00:58:38,458
You know what?
1248
00:58:39,667 --> 00:58:41,000
I like this.
1249
00:58:41,083 --> 00:58:44,125
I look like the lady
at school that pulls kids out of class
1250
00:58:44,208 --> 00:58:46,125
when their parents get into car accidents.
1251
00:58:46,208 --> 00:58:47,750
How often does that happen?
1252
00:58:48,875 --> 00:58:52,667
Can we please get this dress?
Come on. It's the dream dress.
1253
00:58:52,750 --> 00:58:54,333
It costs more than our house.
1254
00:58:54,417 --> 00:58:57,083
Okay, so wear the cheap dress
in front of God. Got it.
1255
00:58:57,167 --> 00:58:58,417
[woman] It's not cheap.
1256
00:58:58,500 --> 00:58:59,958
It's reasonable.
1257
00:59:00,042 --> 00:59:03,167
That's what every kid wants to hear
on the most important day of their life.
1258
00:59:03,250 --> 00:59:05,625
"Wow, Stacy, you look so reasonable."
1259
00:59:05,708 --> 00:59:07,542
You know what? This is a nice,
1260
00:59:08,542 --> 00:59:12,542
temple-friendly, well-priced dress. And...
1261
00:59:12,625 --> 00:59:15,875
No. Don't say it. Please, Mom.
Please, I beg you.
1262
00:59:16,375 --> 00:59:19,792
- We're gettin' it.
- Oh my God! You're ruining me!
1263
00:59:20,958 --> 00:59:22,667
So ugly, Mom.
1264
00:59:23,333 --> 00:59:26,792
- So, is this, like, a swipe or a chip?
- [cashier] Yeah, it's a chip.
1265
00:59:26,875 --> 00:59:30,167
[Bree] Good? Okay.
Wait, did I take it out too soon?
1266
00:59:32,917 --> 00:59:35,375
[Gabi] Why? We could color coordinate.
1267
00:59:35,458 --> 00:59:37,434
[Lydia] We're not color coordinating, Mom.
We're not doing that.
1268
00:59:37,458 --> 00:59:39,000
- You want to ruin me?
- [Gabi Okay. No.
1269
00:59:39,083 --> 00:59:41,417
It looks like something
the counselor at school wears, Mom.
1270
00:59:41,500 --> 00:59:43,875
- [Gabi] Okay, okay.
- [Lydia] Please, I'm not wearing that.
1271
00:59:44,708 --> 00:59:47,125
- [Eli] Yeah, I got that app too.
- Eli!
1272
00:59:47,208 --> 00:59:48,958
- [Eli] What?
- [Gabi] What do you think?
1273
00:59:49,042 --> 00:59:51,208
[Eli] What? Uh, Rudy, hold on a second.
1274
00:59:51,708 --> 00:59:54,042
I'm at a family function or something, uh…
1275
00:59:54,917 --> 00:59:58,958
Yeah, that dress is gorgeous, kiddo.
Only the best.
1276
00:59:59,042 --> 01:00:01,559
[Lydia] Papi, you don't even know
which one we're talking about.
1277
01:00:01,583 --> 01:00:04,417
It's the prettiest one.
Just like you, pumpkin.
1278
01:00:05,167 --> 01:00:07,542
Twenty-three skidoo! Wee!
1279
01:00:07,625 --> 01:00:10,333
Okay, yeah,
I think you gave me a good price.
1280
01:00:11,250 --> 01:00:13,708
Mom? Mom, can we go?
1281
01:00:13,792 --> 01:00:15,833
Yeah, okay. Take the dress.
1282
01:00:15,917 --> 01:00:17,542
- Thank you.
- Okay.
1283
01:00:17,625 --> 01:00:18,875
So great. We got a great deal.
1284
01:00:18,958 --> 01:00:20,279
Where's Daddy? I don't remember...
1285
01:00:20,333 --> 01:00:21,958
- No.
- [gasping] Gabi!
1286
01:00:22,042 --> 01:00:22,875
Bree?!
1287
01:00:22,958 --> 01:00:24,500
Lydia! Lydia's here...
1288
01:00:24,583 --> 01:00:26,583
Oh my God! I haven't seen you in forever!
1289
01:00:26,667 --> 01:00:27,833
[Bree] Hi!
1290
01:00:28,500 --> 01:00:31,341
[Gabi] Just like the two of us
to be getting dresses at the last minute.
1291
01:00:31,375 --> 01:00:32,917
[Bree] Why plan ahead, right?
1292
01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:34,042
[tense music playing]
1293
01:00:34,125 --> 01:00:35,417
[Gabi] How are you? How's Stace?
1294
01:00:35,500 --> 01:00:39,167
[Bree] She's good. I miss Lydia.
She hasn't been over in a while.
1295
01:00:39,250 --> 01:00:40,875
Eli! It's so great to see you.
1296
01:00:40,958 --> 01:00:42,125
How you doing?
1297
01:00:42,208 --> 01:00:44,375
Terrific. We're getting divorced.
1298
01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:47,875
Oh yeah. I'm... I heard. I'm so sorry.
1299
01:00:47,958 --> 01:00:50,292
I'm not. I'm on six dating apps.
1300
01:00:50,375 --> 01:00:52,250
Six? Wow, that's a lot.
1301
01:00:52,333 --> 01:00:53,750
Andy broke up with me.
1302
01:00:54,417 --> 01:00:57,208
Hmm. Sorry to hear that.
You were the perfect couple.
1303
01:00:58,292 --> 01:01:02,167
He said he couldn't deal with the
ticklishness or the closed mouth kissing.
1304
01:01:03,333 --> 01:01:04,875
Sucks for you, I guess.
1305
01:01:06,083 --> 01:01:09,458
Said he heard
I lied about kissing boys in camp.
1306
01:01:10,292 --> 01:01:13,333
Well, you did lie. So…
1307
01:01:14,750 --> 01:01:17,250
[indistinct chatter]
1308
01:01:19,292 --> 01:01:20,292
[Bree] See you at temple?
1309
01:01:20,375 --> 01:01:21,875
- See you at temple.
- Okay.
1310
01:01:21,958 --> 01:01:24,292
Anyhoo. Gonna go.
1311
01:01:25,167 --> 01:01:26,607
- [Bree] Happy shopping!
- [Gabi] Yeah!
1312
01:01:26,667 --> 01:01:28,583
- Bye, Eli! Enjoy those dating apps.
- Yeah.
1313
01:01:28,667 --> 01:01:30,625
- Bye, Stacy.
- See ya! Come on, honey.
1314
01:01:32,125 --> 01:01:33,375
What's that mom's name again?
1315
01:01:33,458 --> 01:01:35,083
Bree.
1316
01:01:35,167 --> 01:01:36,375
Are you kidding me?
1317
01:01:37,042 --> 01:01:39,667
You need to get your fat head
in the game, Eli.
1318
01:01:39,750 --> 01:01:42,792
Stacy's father, Danny,
if you could remember names,
1319
01:01:42,875 --> 01:01:47,083
who we've known since kindergarten,
is so involved in every single detail!
1320
01:01:47,167 --> 01:01:48,792
Oh, he is?
1321
01:01:48,875 --> 01:01:52,667
So, which detail is that?
1322
01:01:54,417 --> 01:01:57,000
- [Danny groaning]
- He's exhausted from being a good dad.
1323
01:01:57,083 --> 01:01:59,208
Honey. You wish. [scoffing]
1324
01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:01,250
Can we get ice cream?
1325
01:02:01,333 --> 01:02:03,167
[upbeat guitar playing]
1326
01:02:03,250 --> 01:02:05,708
- Did you guys already get ice cream?
- No, we didn't.
1327
01:02:06,208 --> 01:02:09,125
♪ Bim bam bim bim bam ♪
1328
01:02:09,750 --> 01:02:11,542
♪ Bim bim bim bim bim bam ♪
1329
01:02:11,625 --> 01:02:13,042
♪ Chiri chiri chiri ♪
1330
01:02:13,125 --> 01:02:16,458
♪ Bim bam bim bim bam ♪
1331
01:02:16,542 --> 01:02:19,708
♪ Bim bim bim bim bim bam ♪
1332
01:02:19,792 --> 01:02:21,750
- [both] ♪ Shabbat shalom ♪
- [Jerry] Hey!
1333
01:02:21,833 --> 01:02:23,542
- [both] ♪ Shabbat shalom ♪
- [Jerry] Hey!
1334
01:02:23,625 --> 01:02:26,958
♪ Shabbat, shabbat
Shabbat, shabbat shalom ♪
1335
01:02:27,042 --> 01:02:30,125
♪ Bim bam bim bim bim bam ♪
1336
01:02:30,208 --> 01:02:33,792
♪ Bim bim bim bim bim bam ♪
1337
01:02:33,875 --> 01:02:35,101
[in sing-song voice]
Yes, Seema?
1338
01:02:35,125 --> 01:02:37,333
- Can I go to the bathroom?
- [Rebecca] Yes you can.
1339
01:02:37,417 --> 01:02:41,000
Go pee-pee, but quickly.
1340
01:02:41,083 --> 01:02:42,250
So quickly.
1341
01:02:43,250 --> 01:02:48,375
♪ Bim bim bim bim bim bam ♪
1342
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:53,125
- [Rebecca] Thank you, thank you!
- Bravo! Slay, queen!
1343
01:02:55,042 --> 01:02:58,792
Does anyone know the significance
of that particular piece of music, huh?
1344
01:02:59,583 --> 01:03:02,417
Yes, Andy, please enlighten us.
1345
01:03:03,375 --> 01:03:05,208
I gotta go to the bathroom too.
1346
01:03:05,292 --> 01:03:07,833
No one thinks to take a whiz
before they come to class?
1347
01:03:07,917 --> 01:03:09,750
Fine, Andy, but quickly!
1348
01:03:09,833 --> 01:03:13,000
- So quickly.
- So quickly.
1349
01:03:13,083 --> 01:03:15,125
[class] So quickly.
1350
01:03:15,208 --> 01:03:16,875
[Jerry] Go, Andy.
1351
01:03:16,958 --> 01:03:18,583
[class] Go, Andy.
1352
01:03:18,667 --> 01:03:20,250
[Jerry] Good luck, Andy.
1353
01:03:20,333 --> 01:03:22,375
[class] Good luck, Andy.
1354
01:03:22,458 --> 01:03:27,583
Hopefully, it's not number two!
1355
01:03:27,667 --> 01:03:29,292
[class chuckling]
1356
01:03:29,375 --> 01:03:30,375
[toilet flushing]
1357
01:03:30,417 --> 01:03:32,625
[boy] It's Mr. Mateo!
1358
01:03:32,708 --> 01:03:34,167
[kids clamoring]
1359
01:03:34,250 --> 01:03:37,125
- Mr. Potatoes.
- [girl] Mr. Potato.
1360
01:03:37,208 --> 01:03:38,125
Hey, Stacy!
1361
01:03:38,208 --> 01:03:41,667
Can't believe you're not even Jewish,
and you come to temple more than I do.
1362
01:03:41,750 --> 01:03:44,375
Yeah, I go to church every Sunday.
1363
01:03:44,458 --> 01:03:48,375
Might as well fill in the other six days
for some, you know, holiness too.
1364
01:03:48,458 --> 01:03:51,000
I'm actually going
to help these guys make challah.
1365
01:03:51,083 --> 01:03:54,458
- [kids] Challah!
- Okay, okay! Challah, challah.
1366
01:03:54,542 --> 01:03:56,292
- That's what I said!
- [Stacy laughing]
1367
01:03:56,375 --> 01:03:58,792
I'm waiting here for Mrs. Lippman
to unlock the kitchen.
1368
01:03:58,875 --> 01:03:59,958
She's taking forever.
1369
01:04:00,042 --> 01:04:03,792
I remember when I had Mrs. Lippman,
six years old, not a care in the world.
1370
01:04:03,875 --> 01:04:04,708
[girl] I got cares.
1371
01:04:04,792 --> 01:04:07,750
My mom says
if I don't learn the candle blessings,
1372
01:04:07,833 --> 01:04:10,375
I can't play Call of Duty anymore!
1373
01:04:10,458 --> 01:04:11,542
Oh, that's heavy.
1374
01:04:11,625 --> 01:04:15,708
Or maybe Mr. Mateo will teach you.
He probably knows it by now.
1375
01:04:15,792 --> 01:04:18,417
[Mateo, singing in Hebrew]
Baruch Atah Adonai,
1376
01:04:18,500 --> 01:04:20,750
- Eloheinu Melech ha'o...
- [kids clamoring]
1377
01:04:20,833 --> 01:04:21,667
[kids cheer]
1378
01:04:21,750 --> 01:04:23,542
- Mrs. Lippman!
- [mouthing] Bye.
1379
01:04:23,625 --> 01:04:24,750
See you later, Stacy.
1380
01:04:25,250 --> 01:04:26,958
[contemplative music playing]
1381
01:04:29,292 --> 01:04:31,333
- Hi, Mike.
- [Mike] Shalom, Stacy.
1382
01:04:45,042 --> 01:04:46,042
What's up?
1383
01:04:47,208 --> 01:04:48,208
Hi.
1384
01:04:48,583 --> 01:04:49,583
[Andy] Hey, uh…
1385
01:04:50,542 --> 01:04:52,500
Have you ever kissed anyone?
1386
01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:54,458
[Stacy chuckling nervously]
1387
01:04:55,042 --> 01:04:56,833
Uh, no.
1388
01:04:58,417 --> 01:04:59,750
Would you want to?
1389
01:05:01,333 --> 01:05:02,333
Yeah.
1390
01:05:03,458 --> 01:05:05,083
All right, come on, let's go.
1391
01:05:07,750 --> 01:05:08,750
Come on.
1392
01:05:14,458 --> 01:05:16,583
- [girl] Um, someone's in here!
- [boy] Go away!
1393
01:05:16,667 --> 01:05:17,542
[kids giggling]
1394
01:05:17,625 --> 01:05:19,250
[whispering] Where could we go?
1395
01:05:20,708 --> 01:05:21,958
Come on. Let's go.
1396
01:05:26,375 --> 01:05:28,375
[dramatic music playing]
1397
01:05:38,708 --> 01:05:40,042
[music stops]
1398
01:05:47,125 --> 01:05:48,125
[Andy sighing]
1399
01:05:51,625 --> 01:05:53,667
No one's gonna find us in here.
1400
01:05:54,958 --> 01:05:58,125
I don't know,
I just feel like God's gonna be mad.
1401
01:05:59,500 --> 01:06:03,083
Nah, God's gonna be stoked
that we like each other so much.
1402
01:06:05,000 --> 01:06:06,000
You're right.
1403
01:06:14,125 --> 01:06:16,958
This is not the bathroom!
1404
01:06:17,042 --> 01:06:18,042
[whispering] Oh no.
1405
01:06:18,083 --> 01:06:19,458
[Rebecca] Do you see a toilet?!
1406
01:06:19,542 --> 01:06:21,167
I didn't think so!
1407
01:06:21,833 --> 01:06:23,042
I didn't need to go.
1408
01:06:23,750 --> 01:06:25,958
Well, mazel tov, you guys are married now.
1409
01:06:26,917 --> 01:06:28,542
Kidding, but you're in a lot of trouble.
1410
01:06:29,250 --> 01:06:32,167
In front of the Torah?
What were you thinking?
1411
01:06:32,250 --> 01:06:35,083
I said I was sorry.
Why is Andy not getting in trouble?
1412
01:06:35,167 --> 01:06:36,167
Oh, he's in trouble!
1413
01:06:36,250 --> 01:06:39,125
He's a repeat offender. We're handling it.
1414
01:06:39,208 --> 01:06:40,608
I hope my father doesn't handle it.
1415
01:06:40,667 --> 01:06:43,125
He'll put him in a wood chipper.
They'll never find his body.
1416
01:06:43,208 --> 01:06:44,542
[somber music playing]
1417
01:06:44,625 --> 01:06:49,083
Seema, we're only a few weeks away
from your Bat Mitz. Okay, cutie-pops?
1418
01:06:49,167 --> 01:06:51,625
This is supposed to be
the most important day of your life,
1419
01:06:51,708 --> 01:06:54,417
and you're not taking it seriously at all.
1420
01:06:54,500 --> 01:06:56,375
You haven't even done
your mitzvah project yet.
1421
01:06:56,458 --> 01:06:59,125
I did my mitzvah project.
I volunteered at the retirement home.
1422
01:06:59,208 --> 01:07:02,583
So you could do a mitzvah,
or so you could flirt with a boy?
1423
01:07:03,458 --> 01:07:04,833
How did you know that?
1424
01:07:04,917 --> 01:07:08,750
Let's just say there's
a wonderful woman there, Mrs. O'Leary,
1425
01:07:08,833 --> 01:07:14,208
who wishes to convert to Judaism,
and you never brought her bookies!
1426
01:07:14,917 --> 01:07:17,833
Yeah, you're not the only one
who's amazing at impressions.
1427
01:07:18,333 --> 01:07:19,333
I'll do better.
1428
01:07:20,167 --> 01:07:24,000
Let me take off
my "rabbi hat" for a second
1429
01:07:24,083 --> 01:07:26,417
and put on my "tough love hat."
1430
01:07:28,500 --> 01:07:31,875
If you don't shape up, your Bat Mitzvah
is gonna be cancelled, sis.
1431
01:07:32,875 --> 01:07:36,208
And that's the way
the hamantaschen crumbles. Capisce?
1432
01:07:44,917 --> 01:07:47,375
Yes, we understand, Rabbi Rebecca.
1433
01:07:47,458 --> 01:07:49,833
She doesn't really even deserve
a second chance.
1434
01:07:49,917 --> 01:07:50,917
We thank you for that.
1435
01:07:50,958 --> 01:07:52,042
[Rebecca] Mm-hmm.
1436
01:07:52,125 --> 01:07:56,125
Oh, and just please
calm your husband down.
1437
01:07:56,208 --> 01:08:00,458
Okay? Tell him don't put Andy Goldfarb
in a wood chipper.
1438
01:08:00,542 --> 01:08:03,125
- [Bree] She just walked in.
- [Rebecca] Oh. Okay, good luck.
1439
01:08:05,333 --> 01:08:08,375
Dad, take a breath.
Just talk to her. Don't yell.
1440
01:08:10,500 --> 01:08:11,833
[music stops]
1441
01:08:12,750 --> 01:08:14,125
He didn't take a breath.
1442
01:08:14,208 --> 01:08:15,208
No.
1443
01:08:18,792 --> 01:08:19,667
[door opening]
1444
01:08:19,750 --> 01:08:21,667
Hey. We don't slam doors in this house.
1445
01:08:21,750 --> 01:08:24,250
- Dad, I need a break.
- [Danny] Well, welcome to being an adult.
1446
01:08:24,333 --> 01:08:26,333
And welcome to being Jewish.
We don't get breaks.
1447
01:08:26,417 --> 01:08:27,667
Oh my God! Stop!
1448
01:08:27,750 --> 01:08:29,583
[Danny] Kissing a boy in a temple?
1449
01:08:29,667 --> 01:08:31,917
You know how disrespectful that is?
1450
01:08:32,000 --> 01:08:37,167
Every time you walk into that synagogue,
you are declaring to everyone and God,
1451
01:08:37,250 --> 01:08:39,917
"I'm Jewish, and I am part of this!"
1452
01:08:40,000 --> 01:08:41,292
Well, maybe I don't want to be!
1453
01:08:41,375 --> 01:08:42,458
Yes, you do!
1454
01:08:42,542 --> 01:08:44,083
I was born into God's kingdom!
1455
01:08:44,167 --> 01:08:47,125
Yeah? Well, God wants you out right now!
How's that?
1456
01:08:47,208 --> 01:08:49,292
- I hate you!
- [Danny] You don't mean that.
1457
01:08:49,375 --> 01:08:51,917
Wow, I never said that to him,
and I was nuts.
1458
01:08:52,000 --> 01:08:53,640
- [Danny] You hate me?!
- [knocking on door]
1459
01:08:53,667 --> 01:08:56,375
[Stacy] I do. You're a jerk,
and you won't let me have a mojito bar.
1460
01:08:56,458 --> 01:08:57,292
Gabi!
1461
01:08:57,375 --> 01:08:58,208
Hi!
1462
01:08:58,292 --> 01:09:00,333
[Danny] That's why we fought the Nazis?
1463
01:09:00,417 --> 01:09:02,042
So you could have a mojito bar?
1464
01:09:02,125 --> 01:09:03,417
Is this a bad time?
1465
01:09:03,500 --> 01:09:06,417
- Um, no. What's… what's going on?
- [Danny] Are you nuts?
1466
01:09:06,500 --> 01:09:09,101
Well, Stacy was supposed
to do that video for Lydia's Bat Mitzvah.
1467
01:09:09,125 --> 01:09:10,500
Oh, yeah, yeah. Of course, right.
1468
01:09:10,583 --> 01:09:12,503
[Stacy] Get out of my room!
Stop ruining my life!
1469
01:09:12,542 --> 01:09:14,542
- Anyways...
- [Danny] I paid for this room!
1470
01:09:14,625 --> 01:09:15,500
She never sent it.
1471
01:09:15,583 --> 01:09:18,504
I was in the neighborhood, and thought
I'd pop by and see if it was ready.
1472
01:09:18,583 --> 01:09:19,704
- [screaming]
- [Danny] Really?
1473
01:09:19,750 --> 01:09:22,500
Oh, hi, Ronnie. Hi, Zaara. How's it going?
1474
01:09:22,583 --> 01:09:24,792
[Danny] Andy Goldfarb?
That's who you pick?
1475
01:09:24,875 --> 01:09:26,792
[both] Great! Nice to see you.
1476
01:09:26,875 --> 01:09:28,833
You girls got so big. How's high school?
1477
01:09:28,917 --> 01:09:30,958
[Stacy] You'll be the reason
I start doing drugs!
1478
01:09:31,042 --> 01:09:32,167
[Danny] Same here!
1479
01:09:32,250 --> 01:09:33,083
Hard.
1480
01:09:33,167 --> 01:09:34,542
Very, very stressful.
1481
01:09:34,625 --> 01:09:35,625
[Danny] Good God!
1482
01:09:35,667 --> 01:09:39,292
Um, I think that Stacy said
she finished the video this weekend,
1483
01:09:39,375 --> 01:09:41,500
so I can just email it to you ASAP.
1484
01:09:41,583 --> 01:09:44,601
Thanks. Lydia keeps talking about how
she doesn't wanna have a video anymore.
1485
01:09:44,625 --> 01:09:46,726
- I know she'd regret it.
- [Danny] You're on your own! Good luck!
1486
01:09:46,750 --> 01:09:48,143
[Stacy, shouting]
I hope you die before Mom!
1487
01:09:48,167 --> 01:09:50,708
- [Danny] I'm taking you with me!
- We'll see you. Mazel tov! Bye!
1488
01:09:51,375 --> 01:09:52,542
[tense music playing]
1489
01:09:52,625 --> 01:09:54,625
[Bree sighing]
1490
01:10:03,833 --> 01:10:05,917
[tense music swelling]
1491
01:10:07,750 --> 01:10:11,250
[Danny] Andy Goldfarb
is going in the goddamn wood chipper!
1492
01:10:11,333 --> 01:10:12,792
- [keyboard clicking]
- Okay.
1493
01:10:12,875 --> 01:10:14,875
["Now I'm In It" by HAIM playing]
1494
01:10:16,708 --> 01:10:18,269
[Stacy, narrating]
Dear God, Stacy here.
1495
01:10:19,667 --> 01:10:23,875
So, as you probably already know,
Lydia's Bat Mitzvah is coming up,
1496
01:10:23,958 --> 01:10:26,042
and I really don't know what to do.
1497
01:10:26,583 --> 01:10:28,792
I'm not even sure if she wants me there.
1498
01:10:28,875 --> 01:10:30,833
- [girls laughing]
- [kids clamoring]
1499
01:10:33,375 --> 01:10:35,726
[Stacy, continuing] If I was in
this situation a month ago,
1500
01:10:35,750 --> 01:10:37,708
I would've asked my friends what to do.
1501
01:10:38,583 --> 01:10:40,250
Hey, look, we're twinning.
1502
01:10:41,583 --> 01:10:42,583
[Megan] Twinning?
1503
01:10:42,667 --> 01:10:44,375
What are we in fourth grade?
1504
01:10:45,083 --> 01:10:47,143
[Stacy, continuing] But the people
I'm hanging out with now,
1505
01:10:47,167 --> 01:10:49,375
I don't know
if they'd have such good advice.
1506
01:10:49,458 --> 01:10:52,083
[Stacy practicing in Hebrew]
et b'ney Moshe...
1507
01:10:52,167 --> 01:10:53,934
[Stacy, narrating]
I've actually been working hard
1508
01:10:53,958 --> 01:10:56,875
because I want to have a good Bat Mitzvah
and a good life.
1509
01:10:57,375 --> 01:11:00,292
[continuing in Hebrew]
kedushah ha-nasi…
1510
01:11:00,375 --> 01:11:02,792
I don't know how to fix things with Lydia,
1511
01:11:02,875 --> 01:11:04,167
or if I should,
1512
01:11:04,250 --> 01:11:05,917
or if it's even possible.
1513
01:11:06,000 --> 01:11:10,500
[Stacy practicing in Hebrew]
al panav ad bo-oh l'dabeyr ito.
1514
01:11:10,583 --> 01:11:11,750
Booyah!
1515
01:11:12,292 --> 01:11:14,917
So I've been focusing
on my new mitzvah project.
1516
01:11:15,000 --> 01:11:16,208
♪ 'Cause now I'm in it ♪
1517
01:11:16,792 --> 01:11:18,375
♪ But I've been trying… ♪
1518
01:11:18,458 --> 01:11:20,779
[Stacy, narrating] And maybe,
if I start doing good things…
1519
01:11:20,833 --> 01:11:21,667
I got you.
1520
01:11:21,750 --> 01:11:23,583
…good things will start happening to me.
1521
01:11:25,958 --> 01:11:26,958
[coin clanking]
1522
01:11:29,667 --> 01:11:30,708
Thanks.
1523
01:11:31,500 --> 01:11:34,143
[Stacy, continuing] That's more of
a Buddhist concept than a Jewish one,
1524
01:11:34,167 --> 01:11:35,667
but, hey, at this point, I'm...
1525
01:11:35,750 --> 01:11:36,792
[Schmuley] Friedman?
1526
01:11:37,625 --> 01:11:39,208
What the hell are you doing?
1527
01:11:39,292 --> 01:11:41,000
Your meter was expired.
1528
01:11:41,083 --> 01:11:42,958
Yes, I wanted it to be expired.
1529
01:11:43,042 --> 01:11:44,917
The meter maid is a sexual icon,
1530
01:11:45,000 --> 01:11:47,083
and I wanted a chance to hit on her.
1531
01:11:47,167 --> 01:11:49,667
Now I have to wait 45 minutes!
1532
01:11:49,750 --> 01:11:51,510
You're not supposed
to call them meter maids.
1533
01:11:51,583 --> 01:11:53,292
And why are you in a handicapped spot?
1534
01:11:53,875 --> 01:11:55,375
Everybody loves a bad boy.
1535
01:11:56,167 --> 01:11:58,167
Gross. That's a $500 fine.
1536
01:11:58,250 --> 01:11:59,333
Huh?
1537
01:12:07,917 --> 01:12:09,875
[dance music playing on stereo]
1538
01:12:09,958 --> 01:12:12,375
- [tires screeching]
- [Schmuley groaning]
1539
01:12:12,458 --> 01:12:13,458
[Stacy gasping]
1540
01:12:15,333 --> 01:12:16,333
What the heck, man?
1541
01:12:16,958 --> 01:12:18,125
It was her fault!
1542
01:12:18,833 --> 01:12:20,625
- [man] Her?
- [Schmuley] She did it!
1543
01:12:20,708 --> 01:12:22,042
- [man] We know that kid.
- What?
1544
01:12:22,125 --> 01:12:24,958
- She goes out with the basketball guy.
- Exactly.
1545
01:12:25,042 --> 01:12:27,083
[car window rolling down]
1546
01:12:35,875 --> 01:12:37,833
[somber music playing]
1547
01:12:37,917 --> 01:12:39,167
[Bree] Stace?
1548
01:12:39,250 --> 01:12:40,708
[footsteps approaching]
1549
01:12:40,792 --> 01:12:41,792
[Bree] Honey?
1550
01:12:43,333 --> 01:12:44,750
Why aren't you ready yet?
1551
01:12:45,708 --> 01:12:47,333
I don't want to go.
1552
01:12:47,417 --> 01:12:48,875
[Bree] Yes, you do.
1553
01:12:48,958 --> 01:12:51,333
This is Lydia's Bat Mitzvah.
1554
01:12:52,250 --> 01:12:54,667
- She doesn't even want me there.
- [Bree] Honey.
1555
01:12:54,750 --> 01:12:57,125
I don't know what's happening
between you two,
1556
01:12:57,208 --> 01:13:00,250
but I know things must feel
really messed up right now.
1557
01:13:00,333 --> 01:13:04,292
I know she hurt you,
but I'm sure she misses her best friend.
1558
01:13:06,583 --> 01:13:08,542
You need to make things right.
1559
01:13:12,000 --> 01:13:13,458
- Okay?
- [Stacy] Yeah.
1560
01:13:13,542 --> 01:13:15,917
[Bree] Okay,
I think you should wear this towel.
1561
01:13:16,000 --> 01:13:18,125
- It's a good accessory.
- It's very stylish.
1562
01:13:18,208 --> 01:13:19,458
- Don't you think?
- Yeah.
1563
01:13:19,542 --> 01:13:21,042
[contemplative music playing]
1564
01:13:21,125 --> 01:13:22,583
[indistinct chatter]
1565
01:13:24,667 --> 01:13:27,667
Oy! Hey! Hey, slow down!
1566
01:13:27,750 --> 01:13:29,917
- Feel the breeze, Grandma!
- Oh my, ah!
1567
01:13:30,000 --> 01:13:32,333
I can see why you fell for him so hard.
1568
01:13:35,625 --> 01:13:37,268
[Bree] You’re wearin' the suit
for me, huh?
1569
01:13:37,292 --> 01:13:39,917
- [Danny] Yeah. Lydia gets the suit.
- [Bree] Oh, it's for Lydia.
1570
01:13:43,125 --> 01:13:44,667
[Schmuley yelling in Hebrew]
1571
01:13:44,750 --> 01:13:46,708
- [funky song playing]
- [Schmuley groaning]
1572
01:13:46,792 --> 01:13:48,750
[indistinct chatter]
1573
01:13:50,917 --> 01:13:52,542
- We love you guys!
- Thank you for coming.
1574
01:13:52,625 --> 01:13:54,000
[Bree] Lydia! Look at you!
1575
01:13:54,083 --> 01:13:55,375
Oh my God!
1576
01:13:55,458 --> 01:13:56,875
- This is exquisite!
- [inaudible]
1577
01:13:57,500 --> 01:14:00,750
Gabi, you've outdone yourself, girl.
Really, it's gorgeous.
1578
01:14:00,833 --> 01:14:02,542
[Gabi] Stacy, I'm so glad you came!
1579
01:14:02,625 --> 01:14:04,833
Lydia said you've been so busy
with show choir.
1580
01:14:05,792 --> 01:14:07,292
Yeah, the show's going really great.
1581
01:14:07,375 --> 01:14:08,625
[Gabi] That's exciting.
1582
01:14:08,708 --> 01:14:09,708
Can you girls believe it?
1583
01:14:09,792 --> 01:14:12,500
You've been planning this
your whole lives, and it's finally here!
1584
01:14:12,583 --> 01:14:15,833
Uh, well, it's time to get hammered.
1585
01:14:15,917 --> 01:14:16,792
[chuckling] Okay.
1586
01:14:16,875 --> 01:14:18,542
Ooh, maybe he'll pass out.
1587
01:14:18,625 --> 01:14:21,542
You! I saw you today at temple.
The Haftarah.
1588
01:14:21,625 --> 01:14:22,833
[smacking lips] Spot on.
1589
01:14:22,917 --> 01:14:25,458
- Thank you, Mr. Friedman.
- Lydia, you look so pretty!
1590
01:14:25,542 --> 01:14:26,583
[Lydia] Well, thank you.
1591
01:14:26,667 --> 01:14:30,333
- You got the Twizzlers station?
- Yeah, it's back there. I got it for you.
1592
01:14:30,417 --> 01:14:32,083
[girls] Yay! [giggling]
1593
01:14:32,167 --> 01:14:35,000
[sing-songy] Your New York theme
is gonna be amazing!
1594
01:14:35,083 --> 01:14:37,083
[in accent] Thank you for coming, madam.
1595
01:14:37,167 --> 01:14:39,292
[in accent] Well,
thank you for inviting me.
1596
01:14:39,375 --> 01:14:41,000
[Nikki] Lyd! There you are!
1597
01:14:41,083 --> 01:14:42,583
- [Tara] Hey!
- You're up! Come on!
1598
01:14:42,667 --> 01:14:43,867
Ready for your grand entrance?
1599
01:14:44,750 --> 01:14:46,667
[in accent] Come on! Places, cutie-pops.
1600
01:14:46,750 --> 01:14:48,000
[girls giggling]
1601
01:14:48,083 --> 01:14:49,724
- See you after.
- That's a good impression.
1602
01:14:49,750 --> 01:14:50,870
[Gabi] See you. Bye, Ronnie!
1603
01:14:50,917 --> 01:14:53,042
- That felt good, huh?
- Yeah.
1604
01:14:54,500 --> 01:14:55,500
- Wow!
- Wow!
1605
01:14:57,250 --> 01:14:58,875
- [Bree] Hey!
- [Danny] Oh, hey!
1606
01:14:58,958 --> 01:15:01,250
We're sitting with the Lamonsoffs.
I love it!
1607
01:15:01,333 --> 01:15:02,375
Good to see ya.
1608
01:15:03,500 --> 01:15:05,125
[knocking on door]
1609
01:15:05,208 --> 01:15:06,208
What up?
1610
01:15:06,708 --> 01:15:09,167
[man] You ready, DJ? The party's starting.
1611
01:15:09,250 --> 01:15:13,000
All right, I'll be right there!
I'm just getting my mind right!
1612
01:15:16,083 --> 01:15:17,125
[Schmuley sighing]
1613
01:15:17,958 --> 01:15:19,542
It's Schmuley time.
1614
01:15:21,500 --> 01:15:22,583
So let's go.
1615
01:15:24,292 --> 01:15:29,125
All right! Put your hands up in the air
like you just don't care, because…
1616
01:15:29,208 --> 01:15:34,167
It is officially
Lydia Katz Rodriguez's Bat Mitzvah!
1617
01:15:34,250 --> 01:15:36,542
[all cheering]
1618
01:15:36,625 --> 01:15:39,542
[Schmuley] Woo!
Oh yeah, you got it, Grandma!
1619
01:15:39,625 --> 01:15:41,000
[inaudible]
1620
01:15:44,833 --> 01:15:47,750
Yeah, nobody does it
like DJ Schmuley, huh?
1621
01:15:47,833 --> 01:15:48,833
I guess.
1622
01:15:48,917 --> 01:15:51,208
["A Little Bit of Love" by Weezer playing]
1623
01:15:58,375 --> 01:15:59,917
[crowd exclaiming]
1624
01:16:00,625 --> 01:16:03,000
My little sweet baby.
1625
01:16:05,833 --> 01:16:06,958
Bubelah!
1626
01:16:07,042 --> 01:16:07,917
Tatelah!
1627
01:16:08,000 --> 01:16:09,000
Meydelah!
1628
01:16:09,083 --> 01:16:11,417
Shayna punim!
1629
01:16:16,958 --> 01:16:19,792
- Remember that? Kindergarten, first day?
- Yeah, yeah.
1630
01:16:19,875 --> 01:16:21,458
Yeah, you took my parking spot.
1631
01:16:21,958 --> 01:16:24,208
Mm-hmm.
Not sure that was me, but either way.
1632
01:16:24,292 --> 01:16:25,292
Okay.
1633
01:16:25,375 --> 01:16:27,167
[crowd exclaiming]
1634
01:16:28,375 --> 01:16:30,417
If that was you and a boy,
what would you do?
1635
01:16:33,583 --> 01:16:34,958
[all chuckling]
1636
01:16:36,875 --> 01:16:38,875
[tense music playing]
1637
01:16:41,708 --> 01:16:43,809
[Stacy, on video] We're waiting for her
to pop a pimple.
1638
01:16:43,833 --> 01:16:45,750
Stace, what's going on?
What are you doing?
1639
01:16:46,250 --> 01:16:47,667
[crowd laughing]
1640
01:16:48,833 --> 01:16:49,833
Look at that.
1641
01:16:50,875 --> 01:16:52,476
[Stacy, on video]
Why do you always do that?
1642
01:16:52,500 --> 01:16:54,417
Because I like the way my feet smell!
1643
01:16:54,500 --> 01:16:55,958
[Stacy, on video] This isn't normal!
1644
01:16:57,667 --> 01:16:59,750
Schmuley, turn off the video.
Please, please, please!
1645
01:16:59,833 --> 01:17:02,708
Schmuley! Turn off the video!
1646
01:17:02,792 --> 01:17:04,750
It's getting big reactions.
What's wrong with it?
1647
01:17:04,833 --> 01:17:08,083
It's getting a horrible reaction!
Please, just turn it off!
1648
01:17:08,167 --> 01:17:10,208
- [all laughing]
- [Tara] She sounds like a lawnmower.
1649
01:17:11,750 --> 01:17:13,208
That was not a snore!
1650
01:17:13,292 --> 01:17:14,750
[girls giggling]
1651
01:17:14,833 --> 01:17:16,667
- [Lydia] What's that smell?
- Oh God.
1652
01:17:16,750 --> 01:17:18,958
[Lydia] Kym and Megan and Anya, they suck.
1653
01:17:19,042 --> 01:17:20,333
They're horrible.
1654
01:17:20,417 --> 01:17:24,292
Oh, I want cute, designer stuff,
but make sure it's, like, eco-friendly.
1655
01:17:24,375 --> 01:17:26,000
- I'm sorry.
- [Lydia] They're very dumb.
1656
01:17:26,083 --> 01:17:27,167
It's kinda true though.
1657
01:17:27,250 --> 01:17:29,125
Shut up! It's not.
1658
01:17:29,208 --> 01:17:31,489
- I got a full booger.
- Stop! Erase that right now. Please!
1659
01:17:32,667 --> 01:17:34,309
[Stacy, on video] Her real toes are hairy.
1660
01:17:34,333 --> 01:17:36,750
[Lydia] Remember when that string
on my tampon broke?
1661
01:17:36,833 --> 01:17:38,125
I think I peed myself!
1662
01:17:38,208 --> 01:17:39,667
Oh my God.
1663
01:17:39,750 --> 01:17:42,292
Have you ever farted from the front?
1664
01:17:42,375 --> 01:17:43,893
[Stacy, on video]
Yeah, like your vajayjay?
1665
01:17:43,917 --> 01:17:45,597
- [Lydia] Want me to show you?
- [Stacy] Yes.
1666
01:17:45,625 --> 01:17:46,833
[Lydia] I have to prepare.
1667
01:17:48,708 --> 01:17:50,000
[flatulating]
1668
01:17:50,083 --> 01:17:51,708
[Lydia] I was showing them how to queef.
1669
01:17:51,792 --> 01:17:54,042
[woman] Is that
what kids talk about today?
1670
01:17:54,125 --> 01:17:56,292
Tampons and frontal farts?
1671
01:17:56,375 --> 01:17:58,042
You better not show this to anyone.
1672
01:17:58,125 --> 01:17:59,042
Oh my God.
1673
01:17:59,125 --> 01:18:01,167
I swear to God,
if you show this to anyone…
1674
01:18:01,250 --> 01:18:03,417
- Schmuley did this?
- I… I...
1675
01:18:03,500 --> 01:18:04,500
Schmuley?
1676
01:18:04,542 --> 01:18:08,958
Thanks for watching, bye!
1677
01:18:12,583 --> 01:18:14,208
- Why would Stacy do that?
- I don't know.
1678
01:18:16,083 --> 01:18:17,542
[crowd exclaiming, murmuring]
1679
01:18:19,208 --> 01:18:20,625
Okay, even I'm not that mean.
1680
01:18:20,708 --> 01:18:22,583
- You're pretty mean.
- Yeah, you suck.
1681
01:18:39,417 --> 01:18:40,833
Turn it off, turn it off!
1682
01:18:40,917 --> 01:18:43,292
Lydia! Lydia, I didn't mean to...
1683
01:18:43,375 --> 01:18:45,667
[Lydia] Stop! You didn't mean to?
1684
01:18:45,750 --> 01:18:48,510
Like you didn't mean to tell everyone
I had a black hair on my nipple,
1685
01:18:48,542 --> 01:18:49,792
or that Andy was my first kiss?
1686
01:18:49,875 --> 01:18:52,208
- No, but this is different!
- Just stop lying, Stacy!
1687
01:18:52,292 --> 01:18:54,917
I have tried to apologize,
but you keep punishing me!
1688
01:18:55,000 --> 01:18:57,375
- When is it enough, Stacy?
- Now, it's enough!
1689
01:18:57,458 --> 01:18:58,458
It's too late!
1690
01:18:58,875 --> 01:18:59,875
[Gabi] Lydia!
1691
01:19:01,292 --> 01:19:04,018
[“Hang the Moon” by Matthew Bair,
Katelyn Tarver, Sadie Sandler playing]
1692
01:19:04,042 --> 01:19:07,750
♪ I saw us only in the highlights ♪
1693
01:19:07,833 --> 01:19:09,792
[Stacy crying]
1694
01:19:11,417 --> 01:19:12,500
[Stacy sniffling]
1695
01:19:12,583 --> 01:19:15,917
♪ A picture of me… ♪
1696
01:19:16,000 --> 01:19:18,250
I should go up and see her.
I gotta talk to her.
1697
01:19:18,333 --> 01:19:20,750
No, I'm the one who sent the damn video.
I should go.
1698
01:19:20,833 --> 01:19:24,000
Neither of you guys should go up there.
She needs to process this herself.
1699
01:19:24,083 --> 01:19:25,000
No, honey, she needs...
1700
01:19:25,083 --> 01:19:27,204
I know what she needs
'cause I know how she's feeling.
1701
01:19:27,250 --> 01:19:28,684
How would you know what she's feeling?
1702
01:19:28,708 --> 01:19:31,292
Even your crazy ass
never did anything that stupid.
1703
01:19:31,375 --> 01:19:33,625
True, but I've seen some similar TikToks.
1704
01:19:33,708 --> 01:19:36,542
And the "even your crazy ass"
was gaslighting.
1705
01:19:37,417 --> 01:19:38,897
Yeah, you're right. Sorry about that.
1706
01:19:38,958 --> 01:19:41,292
This is gonna be difficult
for you to hear, Danny and Bree,
1707
01:19:41,375 --> 01:19:42,792
but from this point forward,
1708
01:19:42,875 --> 01:19:46,875
there's going to be a whole huge part
of Stacy that you don't understand,
1709
01:19:46,958 --> 01:19:49,875
that you won't ever understand,
no matter how much you want to,
1710
01:19:49,958 --> 01:19:51,208
and that's just the way it is.
1711
01:19:52,292 --> 01:19:54,833
Don't ever call us Danny
and Bree again, Zaara.
1712
01:19:54,917 --> 01:19:56,042
Yeah, that was weird.
1713
01:19:56,125 --> 01:19:58,375
Sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Friedman.
1714
01:19:59,750 --> 01:20:01,458
To me, that was gaslighting.
1715
01:20:04,958 --> 01:20:09,292
[Stacy, narrating]
God, everything is such a mess.
1716
01:20:10,542 --> 01:20:12,583
I've never felt this way before.
1717
01:20:15,458 --> 01:20:18,208
And I don't know how to fix it.
1718
01:20:21,500 --> 01:20:25,292
♪ When you said it was love
Did you mean it? ♪
1719
01:20:25,792 --> 01:20:29,875
♪ Or did I make it up? Did I dream it? ♪
1720
01:20:29,958 --> 01:20:33,875
♪ For a while I was fooled
I believed it ♪
1721
01:20:34,375 --> 01:20:38,167
♪ But you can hang the moon ♪
1722
01:20:42,667 --> 01:20:45,208
♪ But you can hang the moon ♪
1723
01:20:45,292 --> 01:20:49,083
[Stacy, narrating] Well, I'm sure you got
this day marked in your holy calendar too,
1724
01:20:49,167 --> 01:20:51,250
but today is my Bat Mitzvah.
1725
01:20:51,333 --> 01:20:54,083
The most important day of my Jewish life.
1726
01:20:54,167 --> 01:20:56,333
Maybe even my entire life.
1727
01:20:56,917 --> 01:20:58,458
But what's the point?
1728
01:20:58,542 --> 01:20:59,792
[Bree] Let's do this!
1729
01:21:02,375 --> 01:21:04,125
You're kidding me. Again?
1730
01:21:04,208 --> 01:21:06,375
This time, I'm serious. I am not going.
1731
01:21:06,458 --> 01:21:08,708
Oh, you're going.
Get dressed. Get in the car.
1732
01:21:08,792 --> 01:21:10,583
- I can't, and I won't.
- [tense music playing]
1733
01:21:10,667 --> 01:21:13,500
Okay, fine. Say goodbye to your phone.
1734
01:21:15,250 --> 01:21:17,125
Fine. Who am I texting anyway?
1735
01:21:19,250 --> 01:21:20,250
[music stops]
1736
01:21:20,625 --> 01:21:24,208
There is nothing you can say or do
that will make me go.
1737
01:21:24,875 --> 01:21:27,542
I'm an adult today,
and I can make my own decisions,
1738
01:21:27,625 --> 01:21:30,167
and I have decided that I am staying here.
1739
01:21:31,458 --> 01:21:34,125
- [screaming] Put me down, put me down!
- [Danny] Hey. Come on. Hey.
1740
01:21:34,208 --> 01:21:36,333
Ronnie! [screaming]
1741
01:21:36,417 --> 01:21:39,125
That is some amazing parenting
right there.
1742
01:21:39,208 --> 01:21:41,417
- [Stacy] No! Don't! [screaming]
- [Danny] Hey.
1743
01:21:41,500 --> 01:21:43,750
[indistinct chatter]
1744
01:21:46,417 --> 01:21:48,375
Hey, how are those armpits doing?
1745
01:21:48,458 --> 01:21:50,458
You know how they say
that it grows back double?
1746
01:21:50,542 --> 01:21:51,750
It's growing back triple.
1747
01:21:51,833 --> 01:21:52,708
Oh.
1748
01:21:52,792 --> 01:21:53,708
Yeah.
1749
01:21:53,792 --> 01:21:55,512
- [Stacy screaming]
- [Bree] Pull it together!
1750
01:21:55,958 --> 01:21:57,042
[crowd murmuring]
1751
01:21:57,125 --> 01:21:58,333
[Bree chuckling nervously]
1752
01:21:58,417 --> 01:22:00,458
- [Danny] Calm down.
- I don't want to go.
1753
01:22:00,542 --> 01:22:01,583
Can you stop?
1754
01:22:02,500 --> 01:22:03,625
H-hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
1755
01:22:03,708 --> 01:22:05,792
Shabbat shalom.
1756
01:22:05,875 --> 01:22:07,667
[all] Shabbat shalom.
1757
01:22:07,750 --> 01:22:10,792
Today is a very special day.
1758
01:22:11,292 --> 01:22:13,958
Our brilliant, young Stacy Friedman
1759
01:22:14,042 --> 01:22:17,542
is called to the bimah
for her Bat Mitzvah.
1760
01:22:17,625 --> 01:22:18,875
[Stacy, narrating] Oh, God.
1761
01:22:18,958 --> 01:22:22,542
Do you hear her calling me up
to receive an honor I do not deserve?
1762
01:22:23,250 --> 01:22:27,167
I've been dreaming about this day
my whole life, and now it's here.
1763
01:22:27,250 --> 01:22:31,375
And I wish I could go back in bed,
or under my bed, or literally anywhere...
1764
01:22:31,458 --> 01:22:32,458
[Rebecca] Seema?
1765
01:22:32,542 --> 01:22:34,542
[contemplative music playing]
1766
01:22:44,250 --> 01:22:45,708
[Stacy clearing throat]
1767
01:22:57,375 --> 01:23:00,333
[in Hebrew] Barechu et Adonai hamevorach.
1768
01:23:00,417 --> 01:23:05,000
[crowd in unison] Baruch Adonai
hamevorach leolam vaed.
1769
01:23:05,083 --> 01:23:08,000
Baruch Adonai hamevorach leolam vaed.
1770
01:23:08,083 --> 01:23:12,542
Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu
melech haolam,
1771
01:23:12,625 --> 01:23:15,667
asher bachar banu mikol…
1772
01:23:15,750 --> 01:23:17,208
[Stacy slowing] ha-amim…
1773
01:23:18,458 --> 01:23:19,500
[Stacy sniffling]
1774
01:23:25,708 --> 01:23:28,333
I made a huge mistake. [sniffling]
1775
01:23:29,542 --> 01:23:32,167
I'm sorry.
I don't even know what I'm doing up here.
1776
01:23:35,250 --> 01:23:36,250
[guitar ending abruptly]
1777
01:23:37,375 --> 01:23:38,375
[Stacy sniffling]
1778
01:23:39,458 --> 01:23:40,458
[exhaling]
1779
01:23:41,000 --> 01:23:41,833
Uh…
1780
01:23:41,917 --> 01:23:43,458
[emotional music playing]
1781
01:23:43,542 --> 01:23:47,500
In the Jewish religion,
I am supposed to be a grown-up today.
1782
01:23:48,792 --> 01:23:54,917
But I have been so selfish and bratty
and annoying to my parents who just want…
1783
01:23:55,000 --> 01:23:56,958
[Stacy, narrating] And then, it happened.
1784
01:23:57,042 --> 01:23:59,667
The very day I was supposed
to become a woman
1785
01:23:59,750 --> 01:24:01,708
is the day that everything started
to make sense.
1786
01:24:01,792 --> 01:24:03,167
…Nikki, Tara…
1787
01:24:03,250 --> 01:24:06,417
When you're a kid, you think it's okay
to put yourself in front of your friends
1788
01:24:06,500 --> 01:24:08,292
in pursuit of something better.
1789
01:24:08,917 --> 01:24:11,750
A woman knows there is nothing better
than your friends.
1790
01:24:13,250 --> 01:24:14,542
…Kym, Megan, Anya…
1791
01:24:14,625 --> 01:24:15,768
[Stacy, narrating] When you're a kid,
1792
01:24:15,792 --> 01:24:19,167
sometimes you think you have to be
someone you're not in order to fit in.
1793
01:24:19,250 --> 01:24:22,792
…if I'm being honest, it's probably 'cause
we were, like, jealous or something…
1794
01:24:22,875 --> 01:24:25,375
But a woman knows
it's not about hiding who you are.
1795
01:24:25,458 --> 01:24:27,419
It's about being yourself
and speaking your truth.
1796
01:24:27,458 --> 01:24:30,750
…but also, you guys can be,
like, such a-holes sometimes.
1797
01:24:30,833 --> 01:24:32,042
[crowd gasping]
1798
01:24:32,125 --> 01:24:33,625
Keep it PG in the temple.
1799
01:24:33,708 --> 01:24:34,750
Sorry.
1800
01:24:34,833 --> 01:24:37,167
Where'd she learn to curse like that?
1801
01:24:37,250 --> 01:24:38,292
No idea.
1802
01:24:38,375 --> 01:24:41,500
[Stacy] And the biggest difference
between being a kid and an adult…
1803
01:24:41,583 --> 01:24:42,625
Andy…
1804
01:24:43,458 --> 01:24:45,417
…is knowing what really matters.
1805
01:24:46,000 --> 01:24:49,333
I'm gonna keep it brief 'cause I know you
can't focus on one thing for that long,
1806
01:24:49,417 --> 01:24:52,500
but you're basic and not nice to people,
1807
01:24:52,583 --> 01:24:55,083
and if I'm being honest,
not that good at soccer.
1808
01:24:55,167 --> 01:24:56,458
[kids laughing]
1809
01:24:56,542 --> 01:24:57,542
[Aaron] You suck!
1810
01:24:58,500 --> 01:25:00,542
And worst of all, because of you,
1811
01:25:01,250 --> 01:25:04,708
I ruined my friendship
with the one person that matters the most.
1812
01:25:05,625 --> 01:25:07,375
I need to tell her how bad I messed up.
1813
01:25:08,583 --> 01:25:09,625
Hey, hey, hey…
1814
01:25:09,708 --> 01:25:12,184
You gotta go up there and finish
your Torah portion before you go.
1815
01:25:12,208 --> 01:25:16,000
Come here. Give it your best shot,
and then we'll all fix this together.
1816
01:25:16,083 --> 01:25:18,208
Hopefully, after I take off
this itchy suit.
1817
01:25:18,875 --> 01:25:19,750
[Stacy chuckling]
1818
01:25:19,833 --> 01:25:21,000
You have coffee breath.
1819
01:25:21,083 --> 01:25:24,000
Okay. All right. Use that up there. Go.
1820
01:25:24,083 --> 01:25:28,583
Quickly, so quickly, so quickly.
1821
01:25:28,667 --> 01:25:30,292
So quickly.
1822
01:25:31,042 --> 01:25:32,750
[uplifting music playing]
1823
01:25:32,833 --> 01:25:34,750
[Stacy breathing shakily]
1824
01:25:36,667 --> 01:25:40,708
[in Hebrew] Va-y'chal Moshe mi-dabeyr itam
1825
01:25:40,792 --> 01:25:42,792
Va-yiteyn al panav masveh.
1826
01:25:44,083 --> 01:25:48,542
Uv'vo Moshe lifney Adonai l'dabeyr ito
1827
01:25:48,625 --> 01:25:51,000
Ya-sir et ha-masveh ad tzeyto
1828
01:25:51,083 --> 01:25:57,708
V'yatza v'di-ber el b'ney Yisrael
et asher y'tzuveh.
1829
01:25:57,792 --> 01:26:02,083
V'ra-u v'ney Yisrael et p'ney Moshe
1830
01:26:02,167 --> 01:26:08,458
Ki karan or p'ney Moshe v'heysheev Moshe
1831
01:26:08,542 --> 01:26:11,292
Et ha-masveh al panav
1832
01:26:11,375 --> 01:26:16,500
ad bo-oh l'dabeyr ito.
1833
01:26:17,958 --> 01:26:18,958
I did it.
1834
01:26:19,458 --> 01:26:21,542
[all cheering]
1835
01:26:21,625 --> 01:26:23,500
Ya'sher koach! Now go!
1836
01:26:23,583 --> 01:26:26,125
["Reputation" by Radiant Baby playing]
1837
01:27:11,958 --> 01:27:13,042
[Stacy] Lydia!
1838
01:27:13,125 --> 01:27:14,333
[doorbell ringing]
1839
01:27:15,125 --> 01:27:16,958
[panting] Lydia.
1840
01:27:18,958 --> 01:27:19,958
Lydia.
1841
01:27:20,625 --> 01:27:22,000
Lydia, please open...
1842
01:27:23,750 --> 01:27:24,792
The Andy stuff.
1843
01:27:25,292 --> 01:27:27,417
I know you never hurt me on purpose.
1844
01:27:27,500 --> 01:27:29,542
I should have let you apologize.
1845
01:27:30,250 --> 01:27:33,542
I miss you, and I love you, and I'm sorry.
1846
01:27:33,625 --> 01:27:35,500
I've been a horrible, selfish friend.
1847
01:27:35,583 --> 01:27:37,375
Please, please forgive me.
1848
01:27:40,375 --> 01:27:43,250
Stacy, you ruined my Bat Mitzvah.
1849
01:27:43,333 --> 01:27:45,875
What part of that do you not understand?
I don't under... Like...
1850
01:27:45,958 --> 01:27:48,000
- I know.
- Let me finish.
1851
01:27:48,583 --> 01:27:50,875
That day at the ledge,
I told you not to go.
1852
01:27:50,958 --> 01:27:52,958
I told you don't jump. You jumped.
1853
01:27:53,042 --> 01:27:54,802
Then the whole thing
ended up being my fault.
1854
01:27:54,833 --> 01:27:56,875
- Then I was the shitty friend?
- I'm sorry.
1855
01:27:56,958 --> 01:28:00,583
And I've known you liked Andy for, like,
a million years, but guess what, Stacy?
1856
01:28:00,667 --> 01:28:03,333
So has every other girl at our school,
including me,
1857
01:28:03,417 --> 01:28:06,458
but I never told you anything
because I knew it'd just make you upset.
1858
01:28:06,542 --> 01:28:11,250
And then, when you uninvited me to the day
I've been helping you plan forever,
1859
01:28:12,500 --> 01:28:14,208
I dated him to make you mad.
1860
01:28:14,917 --> 01:28:16,125
Until you ruined it.
1861
01:28:16,917 --> 01:28:19,226
Then you ruined your best friend's
most important day of her life.
1862
01:28:19,250 --> 01:28:20,958
So, yeah, I'm… I'm done here, Stacy.
1863
01:28:21,042 --> 01:28:22,708
Wait, you're right.
1864
01:28:23,458 --> 01:28:25,000
Yeah, I know.
1865
01:28:25,083 --> 01:28:29,500
Just come to my Bat Mitzvah party tonight.
I promise it'll be worth it. Please.
1866
01:28:32,250 --> 01:28:33,917
[dramatic music playing]
1867
01:28:34,875 --> 01:28:36,542
I'm gonna take that as a maybe.
1868
01:28:41,417 --> 01:28:42,417
Hello, again.
1869
01:28:45,500 --> 01:28:48,500
["Post Humorous" by Gus Dapperton playing]
1870
01:28:48,583 --> 01:28:49,583
Honey?
1871
01:28:50,500 --> 01:28:51,417
Hi, Mom.
1872
01:28:51,500 --> 01:28:53,333
[Bree] Your father called in
a lot of favors.
1873
01:28:53,417 --> 01:28:56,083
I think it's gonna work out
if she shows up.
1874
01:28:58,292 --> 01:28:59,458
Come on. Let me do it.
1875
01:29:04,250 --> 01:29:07,625
I know tonight's not exactly
what you dreamed it would be,
1876
01:29:07,708 --> 01:29:09,167
but I'm really proud of you.
1877
01:29:10,042 --> 01:29:10,875
Okay, go.
1878
01:29:10,958 --> 01:29:12,208
[both smacking lips]
1879
01:29:13,750 --> 01:29:14,750
[Bree] There.
1880
01:29:15,125 --> 01:29:16,125
[objects clattering]
1881
01:29:16,208 --> 01:29:17,833
- [Stacy] Hmm.
- Gorgeous.
1882
01:29:17,917 --> 01:29:18,917
[in accent] Thanks, doll.
1883
01:29:19,708 --> 01:29:21,042
[Stacy chuckling]
1884
01:29:21,750 --> 01:29:23,667
- I have something for you.
- Okay.
1885
01:29:26,167 --> 01:29:29,292
[Bree] Okay, now,
I know you may not like this, but…
1886
01:29:30,708 --> 01:29:32,875
[gasping] Really?
1887
01:29:33,458 --> 01:29:34,458
Thank you!
1888
01:29:34,958 --> 01:29:37,042
[Stacy groaning]
1889
01:29:37,125 --> 01:29:39,000
I think I'm gonna wear sneakers.
1890
01:29:39,083 --> 01:29:41,542
Oh my God, you're a woman.
You're a smart woman
1891
01:29:42,167 --> 01:29:43,375
Let's party!
1892
01:29:48,042 --> 01:29:50,042
[crowd cheering]
1893
01:29:50,125 --> 01:29:52,333
[dance music playing]
1894
01:29:52,417 --> 01:29:53,417
[door opening]
1895
01:29:53,750 --> 01:29:54,750
[Bree] Is she here?
1896
01:29:55,625 --> 01:29:57,625
[exhaling] I don't think she's coming.
1897
01:29:57,708 --> 01:29:58,792
Honey, she's gonna come.
1898
01:29:58,875 --> 01:30:00,750
[Schmuley] May I have your attention?
1899
01:30:00,833 --> 01:30:03,554
It's starting. What if she doesn't come?
Then everything's pointless.
1900
01:30:03,583 --> 01:30:04,667
[door opening]
1901
01:30:05,500 --> 01:30:06,750
[Danny] It's not pointless.
1902
01:30:06,833 --> 01:30:09,917
- I could've been working on my golf game!
- Oh, you're fine.
1903
01:30:10,000 --> 01:30:11,000
You made it.
1904
01:30:12,333 --> 01:30:13,333
I made it.
1905
01:30:13,917 --> 01:30:15,083
Perfect timing.
1906
01:30:15,167 --> 01:30:17,250
Just in time for your grand entrance.
1907
01:30:17,333 --> 01:30:20,000
[Schmuley] Listen guys and girls,
ladies and gentlemen…
1908
01:30:20,083 --> 01:30:21,292
No, Lydia…
1909
01:30:21,375 --> 01:30:25,833
Please give a very sweet welcome
to your Bat Mitzvah
1910
01:30:27,250 --> 01:30:30,375
Lydia Rodriguez Katz!
1911
01:30:30,458 --> 01:30:31,875
[Stacy] It's time for yours.
1912
01:30:32,833 --> 01:30:34,583
Stacy, what is this?
1913
01:30:35,083 --> 01:30:38,208
You deserve a perfect Bat Mitzvah.
One that no one ruins.
1914
01:30:38,958 --> 01:30:41,125
So you gave up your Bat Mitzvah for me?
1915
01:30:43,375 --> 01:30:44,917
Stacy, this was your dream.
1916
01:30:45,000 --> 01:30:46,292
It's our dream.
1917
01:30:46,375 --> 01:30:47,375
Stacy!
1918
01:30:48,583 --> 01:30:51,500
Yeah, Lydia! We love you!
1919
01:30:51,583 --> 01:30:52,917
We love you!
1920
01:30:55,375 --> 01:30:56,458
Go!
1921
01:30:56,542 --> 01:30:57,917
Okay.
1922
01:30:58,000 --> 01:30:59,667
[Stacy] Entrance. Beautiful.
1923
01:31:01,917 --> 01:31:04,292
[Schmuley] Lydia! Lydia! Lydia!
1924
01:31:04,375 --> 01:31:05,958
[crowd] Lydia!
1925
01:31:06,042 --> 01:31:08,083
[Schmuley] Come on, Lydia!
1926
01:31:10,417 --> 01:31:11,583
Go, Lydia!
1927
01:31:13,667 --> 01:31:15,875
[dramatic, uplifting music playing]
1928
01:31:28,375 --> 01:31:32,958
[Schmuley] All right! Make some noise
for Lydia and Stacy!
1929
01:31:33,042 --> 01:31:34,958
[crowd cheering]
1930
01:31:35,042 --> 01:31:38,042
- I'm not paying for this, right?
- Yeah. You are.
1931
01:31:38,125 --> 01:31:40,625
I'm kidding you. You're good. We got this.
1932
01:31:40,708 --> 01:31:45,542
- [Schmuley] Let's get this party started!
- Oh man.
1933
01:31:45,625 --> 01:31:48,083
["Party of a Lifetime" by Pitbull playing]
1934
01:31:49,417 --> 01:31:51,125
♪ It's your birthday every day ♪
1935
01:31:53,250 --> 01:31:54,625
♪ Every day your birthday ♪
1936
01:31:54,708 --> 01:31:57,417
♪ We gon' have a good time, all right ♪
1937
01:31:57,917 --> 01:32:00,167
[indistinct chatter on phone]
1938
01:32:03,167 --> 01:32:06,417
Guys, you're watching
Shawshank Redemp! [chuckling]
1939
01:32:06,500 --> 01:32:09,292
- I love that movie. Have you seen...
- [both] Yeah, we've seen it.
1940
01:32:09,375 --> 01:32:12,250
- Yeah, can you leave us alone?
- [both] Bye!
1941
01:32:14,208 --> 01:32:16,208
[dialogue from film playing]
1942
01:32:18,708 --> 01:32:20,393
You're the guy
from the movie theater, right?
1943
01:32:20,417 --> 01:32:21,417
I am.
1944
01:32:21,500 --> 01:32:23,042
Let me get some Twizzlers.
1945
01:32:23,542 --> 01:32:25,208
- Yeah, give me a lot.
- [man] On it.
1946
01:32:29,875 --> 01:32:31,750
- I just want one.
- Okay, my bad.
1947
01:32:31,833 --> 01:32:33,083
Hell's wrong with you?
1948
01:32:35,667 --> 01:32:38,417
All right, mishpachalah!
1949
01:32:38,500 --> 01:32:41,792
Who's ready
for some "Don't Stop Believing!"?
1950
01:32:41,875 --> 01:32:43,667
Yeah, let's go!
1951
01:32:45,375 --> 01:32:48,667
Of course you are, nerd,
and that's why I'm not going to play it.
1952
01:32:49,250 --> 01:32:52,542
I think it's time to slow things down
1953
01:32:52,625 --> 01:32:56,792
for a little love jam.
1954
01:32:56,875 --> 01:32:59,167
["Easy" by The Commodores playing]
1955
01:32:59,250 --> 01:33:03,292
♪ Know it sounds funny
But I just can't stand the pain ♪
1956
01:33:06,917 --> 01:33:11,250
♪ Girl, I'm leaving you tomorrow ♪
1957
01:33:13,625 --> 01:33:17,875
♪ Seems to me, girl
You know I've done all I can ♪
1958
01:33:21,208 --> 01:33:25,417
♪ You see, I begged, stole
And I borrowed ♪
1959
01:33:26,250 --> 01:33:28,708
♪ That's why I'm easy ♪
1960
01:33:32,583 --> 01:33:35,250
♪ I'm easy like Sunday morning ♪
1961
01:33:35,333 --> 01:33:36,333
[Mateo] Hey.
1962
01:33:36,833 --> 01:33:38,250
Do you want to dance?
1963
01:33:39,167 --> 01:33:40,875
Well, what about Isabella?
1964
01:33:41,875 --> 01:33:42,875
Who?
1965
01:33:43,458 --> 01:33:45,500
Your 25-year-old girlfriend back
in Ecuador?
1966
01:33:45,583 --> 01:33:48,917
I just assumed her name
was something glamorous like Isabella.
1967
01:33:49,000 --> 01:33:50,625
I don't have a girlfriend.
1968
01:33:50,708 --> 01:33:53,375
You know, it's a weird rumor
I don't understand.
1969
01:33:54,792 --> 01:33:55,792
Oh.
1970
01:33:59,042 --> 01:34:01,250
[gasping] Ooh, how do you feel about that?
1971
01:34:01,333 --> 01:34:03,792
Your daughter's dancing
with a handsome young gentleman?
1972
01:34:03,875 --> 01:34:06,708
Um, surprisingly, I feel okay with it.
1973
01:34:06,792 --> 01:34:07,667
Really?
1974
01:34:07,750 --> 01:34:10,333
- You know what I don't feel good with?
- What?
1975
01:34:10,917 --> 01:34:13,208
- Rabbi Rebecca and Cantor Jerry.
- [Bree gasping]
1976
01:34:13,292 --> 01:34:14,125
[Danny] What is that?
1977
01:34:14,208 --> 01:34:16,042
[Bree] Ooh, work it, Rabbi.
1978
01:34:16,125 --> 01:34:19,208
Yeah. That should be against
every religion right there.
1979
01:34:19,292 --> 01:34:21,208
- Yeah. [laughing]
- What are they doing?
1980
01:34:24,500 --> 01:34:26,833
Okay, that's enough of the slow stuff.
1981
01:34:26,917 --> 01:34:30,208
- Let's make some noise everybody!
- [crowd cheering]
1982
01:34:30,292 --> 01:34:31,542
Are you ready?
1983
01:34:31,625 --> 01:34:33,625
["Cha Cha Slide" by DJ Casper playing]
1984
01:34:34,708 --> 01:34:36,792
[all clapping rhythmically]
1985
01:34:36,875 --> 01:34:38,000
♪ Funky ♪
1986
01:34:39,292 --> 01:34:40,917
♪ Everybody clap your hands ♪
1987
01:34:41,000 --> 01:34:42,917
♪ Everybody clap your hands ♪
1988
01:34:45,167 --> 01:34:48,167
[Stacy, narrating]
Dear God, Stacy Friedman here.
1989
01:34:48,875 --> 01:34:50,542
So today, I'm an adult,
1990
01:34:51,042 --> 01:34:53,125
and honestly, it's wonderful.
1991
01:34:54,417 --> 01:34:57,167
I know this is just the first chapter
of my grown-up life,
1992
01:34:57,250 --> 01:34:59,583
and it might not always be this great,
1993
01:34:59,667 --> 01:35:02,000
but if it was, that would also be great.
1994
01:35:02,500 --> 01:35:04,000
I mean, no pressure.
1995
01:35:04,083 --> 01:35:05,875
Not like I could pressure you.
1996
01:35:06,708 --> 01:35:07,708
Just saying.
1997
01:35:07,750 --> 01:35:09,500
[uplifting music playing]
1998
01:35:09,583 --> 01:35:11,458
And I know what you're thinking,
1999
01:35:11,542 --> 01:35:14,583
that giving up my party
for Lydia was my mitzvah project.
2000
01:35:16,875 --> 01:35:18,292
But that's not a mitzvah.
2001
01:35:20,083 --> 01:35:21,708
That's just being a best friend.
2002
01:35:22,542 --> 01:35:23,583
[music fades]
2003
01:35:23,667 --> 01:35:24,875
♪ Yeah, turn it up ♪
2004
01:35:24,958 --> 01:35:26,958
["Over You" by HOLYCHILD playing]
2005
01:35:28,375 --> 01:35:31,000
Welcome to Mitzvah Bakery.
All proceeds go to charity.
2006
01:35:31,083 --> 01:35:35,083
[Stacy] Helping others, being selfless,
taking the bad and making it good…
2007
01:35:35,167 --> 01:35:36,927
- Breadsticks for four dollars.
- Four dollars.
2008
01:35:36,958 --> 01:35:38,125
[Stacy] That's a mitzvah.
2009
01:35:38,958 --> 01:35:40,167
[girl] Stacy, you did this?
2010
01:35:40,250 --> 01:35:42,417
- This is so dope.
- What are you gonna get?
2011
01:35:42,500 --> 01:35:46,583
[Stacy] Okay, obviously you know that.
You're God, which you also know.
2012
01:35:48,000 --> 01:35:49,542
Make sure you say Hamotzi.
2013
01:35:49,625 --> 01:35:52,000
And for one piece, 24 dollars.
2014
01:35:52,083 --> 01:35:52,917
[girl chuckling]
2015
01:35:53,000 --> 01:35:55,042
[Stacy] Anyway,
thanks for being patient with me.
2016
01:35:55,125 --> 01:35:56,875
I'm really glad I'm a part of this.
2017
01:35:56,958 --> 01:35:58,625
- Ooh, thank you.
- You're welcome.
2018
01:35:58,708 --> 01:35:59,917
You're very, very welcome!
2019
01:36:00,000 --> 01:36:02,333
[Stacy] Okay, I'll get back to you.
Selling bread.
2020
01:36:02,417 --> 01:36:04,583
Now we're talking mitzvah!
2021
01:36:04,667 --> 01:36:08,250
♪ I'm so hopeless and over you ♪
2022
01:36:08,333 --> 01:36:12,042
♪ Think that you know it too ♪
2023
01:36:16,792 --> 01:36:21,625
♪ I say that it's over ♪
2024
01:36:22,208 --> 01:36:27,000
♪ But here I'm still singing ♪
2025
01:36:27,083 --> 01:36:28,833
♪ Play me something juicy ♪
2026
01:36:28,917 --> 01:36:31,958
["Breakfast for Dinner"
by Winnetka Bowling League playing]
2027
01:39:16,625 --> 01:39:17,500
[song fades]
2028
01:39:17,583 --> 01:39:19,583
[upbeat, contemplative music playing]
2029
01:41:31,917 --> 01:41:33,500
[music fades]