1 00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:09,293 Donhauer's just arrived, Spud. 2 00:03:09,364 --> 00:03:12,015 What's the ruddy idea? 3 00:03:13,748 --> 00:03:15,886 Total war, isn't it? What do you want? 4 00:03:15,955 --> 00:03:19,054 - Message from H.Q. Where's the C.O.? - In the barn. Follow me. 5 00:03:30,228 --> 00:03:32,082 Message from headquarters, sir. 6 00:03:32,148 --> 00:03:34,122 - Sergeant Hawkins. - Sir. 7 00:03:36,339 --> 00:03:38,379 Read it. 8 00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:42,162 It's in code, sir. Message begins: 9 00:03:42,227 --> 00:03:44,747 "Exercise invasion of the London area by regular army. 10 00:03:44,819 --> 00:03:46,674 - Home Guard defending." - Yeah. 11 00:03:46,739 --> 00:03:48,681 "War starts at midnight." 12 00:03:48,755 --> 00:03:50,642 Message ends. 13 00:03:50,708 --> 00:03:53,840 The C.O.'s put in pencil here, sir: "Make it like the real thing." 14 00:03:53,908 --> 00:03:57,869 Oh, he has, has he? Section commanders. 15 00:04:03,988 --> 00:04:07,566 Message from H.Q. War starts at midnight. You have your orders. Tell the men. 16 00:04:07,635 --> 00:04:11,181 - Tell them to make it like the real thing. - What do you mean the real thing? 17 00:04:11,252 --> 00:04:13,554 Our losses divided by ten and the enemy's multiplied by 20. 18 00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:16,238 - Yes, sir. - That's all for now. 19 00:04:16,308 --> 00:04:18,610 - Anything for me, sir? - No, nothing else. 20 00:04:21,524 --> 00:04:23,793 - The war starts at midnight. We know. - They know. 21 00:04:23,859 --> 00:04:25,288 - We attack. - They counter attack. 22 00:04:25,364 --> 00:04:28,495 Like the real thing, my Aunt Fatty. 23 00:04:28,563 --> 00:04:30,702 Like the real thing. 24 00:04:30,772 --> 00:04:33,260 Like the real thing! 25 00:04:33,332 --> 00:04:35,154 Sergeant Hawkins. Section commanders. 26 00:04:36,595 --> 00:04:38,766 - So, war starts at midnight, does it? - Sir. 27 00:04:38,835 --> 00:04:41,934 We attack at 6:00. Take all the tommy guns and three trucks. 28 00:04:42,003 --> 00:04:45,069 Section leaders with tommy guns, arm the men with bombs, rifles, bayonets. 29 00:04:45,139 --> 00:04:48,205 - Tommy. From your section, Rice, Unsworth... - The two Owens? 30 00:04:48,275 --> 00:04:50,544 - Yes. Nobby, Toots and Cochrane. - Not Cochrane, sir. 31 00:04:50,611 --> 00:04:53,066 I'll leave it to you. Stuffy, who are the biggest toughs in your lot? 32 00:04:53,139 --> 00:04:55,823 - Bill Wall, Wimpey, Madpan and Popeye. - Yours, Robin? 33 00:04:55,891 --> 00:04:58,858 - Frank, Skeets, Duggie Stewart, sir. - Taffy, Geordie, sir. 34 00:04:58,931 --> 00:05:00,905 Busty, Porky Simms and Pat Sullivan, sir. 35 00:05:00,979 --> 00:05:03,663 - Di Evans, sir. - We must have him. All right. Get going. 36 00:05:03,731 --> 00:05:07,047 Excuse me, sir. Did you say we attack before war's declared? 37 00:05:07,123 --> 00:05:09,512 Yes, like Pearl Harbor. Now get going. 38 00:05:09,587 --> 00:05:11,758 Oh, by the way. There's just one stop. At the Bull. 39 00:05:11,827 --> 00:05:13,899 I've got a date there with Mata Hari. 40 00:05:13,971 --> 00:05:17,744 - Careless talk? - Yeah. Now scram. 41 00:05:32,979 --> 00:05:35,183 Five minutes easy, Sergeant. 42 00:05:40,788 --> 00:05:42,642 Five minutes easy, Stuffy. 43 00:05:49,907 --> 00:05:51,914 I wonder what's keeping Spud. 44 00:05:51,987 --> 00:05:53,875 Come on. 45 00:06:00,723 --> 00:06:02,795 - Good afternoon, Sergeant Hawkins. - Good afternoon, miss. 46 00:06:06,611 --> 00:06:09,775 - Hey! - Everybody back on the trucks. 47 00:06:15,827 --> 00:06:17,681 Spud! 48 00:06:19,795 --> 00:06:21,650 Spud. 49 00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:25,610 Prop him up here. Spud. 50 00:06:25,683 --> 00:06:28,716 - What's the matter? - Come on, sir, what happened? 51 00:06:28,787 --> 00:06:30,642 - Spud! Who? - She got me. 52 00:06:30,707 --> 00:06:33,325 Mata Hari! Come on, quick! Oh! 53 00:06:34,770 --> 00:06:37,585 - Any luck? - Not a hope. She's halfway to London by now. 54 00:06:37,650 --> 00:06:41,447 She's gone to warn the wizard. Come on, get my tin hat. Come on, after her. 55 00:06:49,619 --> 00:06:52,270 - The barricade's open, sir. - Good. Damn. 56 00:06:52,339 --> 00:06:54,892 You know, sir, you ought to have one of these field dressings on that. 57 00:06:54,963 --> 00:06:59,339 Save it for her. She'll need it somewhere else when I catch up with her. 58 00:07:04,403 --> 00:07:08,495 See that barricade, my boys? Well, at midnight on the dot it's going to be closed. 59 00:07:08,564 --> 00:07:13,648 And of course the enemy can't get through before. Because why? Because... 60 00:07:13,715 --> 00:07:16,650 War starts at midnight. 61 00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:22,224 - What's the objective, sir? - Royal Bathers' Club, Piccadilly. 62 00:07:22,291 --> 00:07:24,713 - What about Mata Hari? - We'll beat her to it. 63 00:07:24,787 --> 00:07:26,926 I know a couple of shortcuts after Marble Arch. 64 00:07:32,563 --> 00:07:37,451 There she is! Get the other trucks to close off. See if you can cross her. 65 00:07:38,579 --> 00:07:40,434 Blast that taxi.! 66 00:07:41,970 --> 00:07:45,385 Steady. Keep right on his tail. 67 00:07:46,643 --> 00:07:48,552 Don't follow her. Keep straight on. 68 00:07:48,627 --> 00:07:50,667 Second left. We've got her. 69 00:08:04,499 --> 00:08:07,084 - Number One Section, Number Two, Number Three. - Yes, sir. 70 00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:09,707 You have your orders. Mr. Graves, Sergeant Hawkins. 71 00:08:09,778 --> 00:08:12,745 Yes, l... 72 00:08:12,818 --> 00:08:14,793 - Is General Wynne-Candy in the club? - No, sir. 73 00:08:14,866 --> 00:08:17,135 The general left an hour ago with Brigadier General Caldicott... 74 00:08:17,202 --> 00:08:19,591 - and Air Vice Marshal Lloyd-Hughes. - Did he say where he was going? 75 00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:21,521 Excuse me, sir, but what is your business with the general? 76 00:08:21,586 --> 00:08:23,441 I have a message with him, an urgent message. 77 00:08:23,506 --> 00:08:25,361 If you give me the message, I'll see the general gets it. 78 00:08:25,426 --> 00:08:29,388 - Damn it all, man. Are you in the Home Guard? - Why, sir? 79 00:08:29,459 --> 00:08:31,915 The password is Veuve Cliquot 1911. 80 00:08:33,459 --> 00:08:35,662 The general and his staff are in the Turkish bath, sir. 81 00:08:35,731 --> 00:08:38,894 Sergeant Hawkins, you're in charge up here. Stay with him. 82 00:08:38,962 --> 00:08:41,101 Don't leave your desk or answer the telephone. You're a prisoner. 83 00:08:41,171 --> 00:08:44,400 - The war doesn't start till midnight. - That's what you think. 84 00:08:44,467 --> 00:08:47,501 Sergeant, that girl under the desk there. She's a prisoner too. 85 00:08:47,571 --> 00:08:49,709 - Corporal, leave these men with me. - All right, boys, this is it. 86 00:08:49,778 --> 00:08:54,121 - Brute force and ruddy ignorance. - Come on, after him. Double up. 87 00:08:55,763 --> 00:08:58,152 You're a prisoner. 88 00:08:58,226 --> 00:09:00,528 - Who are you? - Don't argue. Guard this man. 89 00:09:00,594 --> 00:09:04,271 - And answer that damn telephone. - Yes, miss? Wanted a Wynne-Candy? 90 00:09:04,338 --> 00:09:07,634 Can't do that, miss. 91 00:09:07,699 --> 00:09:10,797 Sorry, miss, the general's a prisoner and so are you. 92 00:09:10,866 --> 00:09:13,288 Oh, not till the war's over. 93 00:09:25,426 --> 00:09:27,281 Quiet! 94 00:09:27,346 --> 00:09:29,321 - Any sign of him? - No, not here. 95 00:09:29,394 --> 00:09:32,842 - Are you the ringleader of this outrage? - Quiet, please! 96 00:09:32,914 --> 00:09:35,948 This is an army exercise. You're all prisoners. Now stay where you are. 97 00:09:36,018 --> 00:09:38,473 - Attendant, come here. Where's General Wynne-Candy? - Who, sir? 98 00:09:38,546 --> 00:09:42,255 - You heard. Come on, show me the way. Go on. - In the steam room. 99 00:09:50,578 --> 00:09:52,487 This is it. 100 00:09:56,786 --> 00:09:58,641 Sir? 101 00:10:00,787 --> 00:10:03,437 - Sir. - Go away. 102 00:10:05,107 --> 00:10:07,595 General Wynne-Candy. 103 00:10:07,667 --> 00:10:11,114 Eh? What? Who is it? 104 00:10:11,186 --> 00:10:14,056 Lieutenant Wilson, sir. Second Battalion, the Devonshires, sir. 105 00:10:14,131 --> 00:10:18,321 - What do you want? - Well, sir. I'm afraid, sir, we've... 106 00:10:18,387 --> 00:10:22,664 Well, say it, man. Say it. I've no time to waste. 107 00:10:22,739 --> 00:10:26,252 - Oh, yes, you have, sir. - I beg your pardon, sir. 108 00:10:26,323 --> 00:10:28,428 You've got all night, sir. 109 00:10:28,499 --> 00:10:31,532 - Attendant! - I'm afraid he can't come. 110 00:10:34,578 --> 00:10:36,433 - Why? - He's a prisoner, sir. 111 00:10:36,498 --> 00:10:39,215 What's going on here? 112 00:10:39,282 --> 00:10:41,518 Invasion, sir. 113 00:10:41,587 --> 00:10:46,256 But, you damned young idiot, war starts at midnight. 114 00:10:46,322 --> 00:10:49,835 - Haven't you been told? - Oh, yes, sir. That's why we're here. 115 00:10:49,906 --> 00:10:53,354 But may I ask on what authority? 116 00:10:53,426 --> 00:10:55,466 On the authority of these guns and these men, sir. 117 00:10:55,537 --> 00:10:58,636 Authority? Authority? 118 00:10:58,706 --> 00:11:01,576 How dare you, sir? How dare you? 119 00:11:01,649 --> 00:11:05,446 Get out of here, sir, you and your gang of awful militia gangsters! 120 00:11:05,522 --> 00:11:08,424 - Get out! - Popeye, guard this man. 121 00:11:08,498 --> 00:11:11,400 Stuffy, go to the cubicles. Find which is General Wynne-Candy's. 122 00:11:11,474 --> 00:11:14,507 - You'll find a brown pigskin case there. Bring it. - Yes, sir. 123 00:11:15,697 --> 00:11:19,046 But you can't do that. The code is in that case. 124 00:11:19,122 --> 00:11:21,577 The whole exercise will be a farce if you have that code. 125 00:11:21,650 --> 00:11:24,105 Oh, no, sir. This is going to be the real thing, sir. 126 00:11:24,178 --> 00:11:29,100 - But war starts at midnight. - Oh, yes, you say war starts at midnight. 127 00:11:29,171 --> 00:11:31,058 How do you know the enemy says so too? 128 00:11:31,122 --> 00:11:34,799 But, my dear fellow, that was agreed, wasn't it? 129 00:11:34,866 --> 00:11:36,721 Agreed, my foot. 130 00:11:36,786 --> 00:11:39,536 How many agreements have been kept by the enemy since this war started? 131 00:11:39,602 --> 00:11:42,537 We agree to keep to the rules of the game and they go on kicking us in the pants. 132 00:11:42,610 --> 00:11:44,782 When I joined the army, the only agreement I entered into... 133 00:11:44,850 --> 00:11:47,054 was to defend my country by every means at my disposal. 134 00:11:47,122 --> 00:11:49,326 Not only by the national sporting club rules, 135 00:11:49,394 --> 00:11:52,111 - but by every means that have existed since Cain slugged Abel. - Stop it. 136 00:11:52,178 --> 00:11:54,065 Don't we know that they're counting on us to keep to the rules? 137 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:56,781 - Stop it. Stop it.! - That they openly boast about it? That they laugh at us? 138 00:11:58,514 --> 00:12:00,783 Lieutenant... 139 00:12:00,850 --> 00:12:03,436 Watson, or whatever your name is, 140 00:12:03,506 --> 00:12:07,499 you are not in Hyde Park with an audience of loafers. 141 00:12:07,570 --> 00:12:10,985 I am Major General Wynne-Candy. 142 00:12:11,058 --> 00:12:13,425 These other gentlemen have all seen service, 143 00:12:13,490 --> 00:12:15,945 distinguished service with the British Army. 144 00:12:16,018 --> 00:12:20,109 All I can say, sir, is when Napoleon said an army marched on its stomach... 145 00:12:20,177 --> 00:12:22,032 I'd better stop, sir. 146 00:12:23,794 --> 00:12:27,089 You're an extremely impudent young officer, 147 00:12:27,153 --> 00:12:32,816 but let me tell you that in 40 years' time, you'll be an old gentleman too. 148 00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:37,104 And if your belly keeps pace with your head, you'll have a bigger one than any of us. 149 00:12:37,169 --> 00:12:39,591 Maybe I shall in 40 years, but I doubt it. 150 00:12:39,666 --> 00:12:42,033 And I doubt if I'll have time to grow a mustache like yours, sir. 151 00:12:42,097 --> 00:12:46,886 But in 1983, at least I shall be able to say that 40 years ago I was a fellow of enterprise. 152 00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:53,031 I'll punch your head for that, young fellow. You young puppy. 153 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:56,367 Put 'em up. Take that. I'll beat you. 154 00:12:58,866 --> 00:13:01,517 Think you can say what you like to an old one, do you? 155 00:13:01,586 --> 00:13:03,441 Do you know how many wars I've been in? 156 00:13:03,506 --> 00:13:07,467 I was fighting for my country when your father was still in bum freezers. 157 00:13:07,538 --> 00:13:09,774 Puppy, gangster. 158 00:13:12,114 --> 00:13:14,896 You laugh at my big belly, but you don't know how I got it. 159 00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:17,896 You laugh at my mustache, but you don't know why I grew it. 160 00:13:17,969 --> 00:13:19,824 How do you know what sort of a fellow I was... 161 00:13:19,889 --> 00:13:24,199 when I was as young as you are, forty years ago? 162 00:13:27,186 --> 00:13:30,797 Forty years ago. 163 00:13:33,618 --> 00:13:37,000 Forty years ago. 164 00:13:57,874 --> 00:14:01,703 - Everything you want, Mr. Candy, sir? - Yes, thanks, Peters. 165 00:14:17,681 --> 00:14:22,864 - Quiet! Quiet! People are trying to sleep! 166 00:14:22,929 --> 00:14:25,547 - Suggie! - Hoppy, me old horse, since when are you in London? 167 00:14:25,617 --> 00:14:29,741 Got back yesterday, sick leave. Actually, I've been searching for you all over the city. 168 00:14:29,809 --> 00:14:33,804 - Yes? - I'm terribly sorry to hear about your leg. 169 00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:35,783 Jumping Jehosaphat! They're both there! 170 00:14:35,858 --> 00:14:38,411 - What the hell do you think I'm standing on? - I thought you had a wooden leg. 171 00:14:38,482 --> 00:14:41,743 - Why should I have a wooden leg? - They told me at Bloemfontein they cut off your left leg. 172 00:14:41,809 --> 00:14:45,421 - Can't have, old boy. I'd have known about it. 173 00:14:45,489 --> 00:14:47,464 Quiet! 174 00:14:59,697 --> 00:15:02,185 - Call a cab, porter. - Yes, sir. Boy. 175 00:15:02,257 --> 00:15:05,421 - Handsome, mind. Growlers barred. - He knows, sir. 176 00:15:05,489 --> 00:15:07,878 - I could've done with a nap myself. - Got all night, haven't you? 177 00:15:07,953 --> 00:15:11,302 - Going to the theater tonight. I invited two ladies. - Can't you sleep there? 178 00:15:11,377 --> 00:15:14,247 - Can I come? - One is the mother. 179 00:15:14,321 --> 00:15:16,231 Your cab, sir. 180 00:15:20,241 --> 00:15:22,696 Ah, the opera singers, eh? 181 00:15:23,921 --> 00:15:26,671 No wonder civilians are grumbling about the army. 182 00:15:27,633 --> 00:15:29,771 Ought to be ashamed of yourselves, 183 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:34,892 yelling and screaming like some damned... damned foreigner. 184 00:15:34,961 --> 00:15:37,001 That's a nice state of things. 185 00:15:37,072 --> 00:15:40,488 Officers and men losing their lives in South Africa... 186 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:44,422 while young officers are roaring about public places like drunkards. 187 00:15:44,496 --> 00:15:47,791 Perhaps you are drunk, huh? 188 00:15:52,272 --> 00:15:54,890 - What's this? - V.C., sir. 189 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:58,157 - Where did you get it? - South Africa, Jordaan Siding. 190 00:15:58,225 --> 00:16:03,015 - You're Candy, Sugar Candy? - Yes, sir. 191 00:16:03,089 --> 00:16:05,456 - Good show, Candy. - Thank you, sir. 192 00:16:05,521 --> 00:16:07,594 - Hopwell, sir. - Hopwell? Hopwell? 193 00:16:07,665 --> 00:16:10,894 - Son of Barney Hopwell of the 66th? - Yes, sir. 194 00:16:10,962 --> 00:16:12,718 - You're very musical. - No, sir. 195 00:16:12,786 --> 00:16:15,655 - And so are you. - You mean Mignon, sir? "I am Tatania." 196 00:16:15,729 --> 00:16:19,078 - You're what? - Tatania, sir. We were shut up with her in a block house... 197 00:16:19,153 --> 00:16:21,095 for seven months nearJordaan Siding. 198 00:16:21,169 --> 00:16:24,650 - I beg your pardon? - It's an aria, sir. You know, Mignon. 199 00:16:24,721 --> 00:16:27,852 We had a phonograph and broke every record but that one. We know it by heart. 200 00:16:33,873 --> 00:16:37,069 - Are you boys going to the Lilly? Ah, that's where I'm going. - Yes, sir. 201 00:16:40,337 --> 00:16:43,304 - Can I give you a lift? - No thank you, sir. We've got a cab. 202 00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:46,573 - Right. St. James' Palace. - Right, sir. 203 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:50,088 I hope you two boys enjoy your leave. You've earned it. 204 00:16:50,161 --> 00:16:54,055 - Thank you, sir. Mind your sword in the door. - Boy! 205 00:16:55,249 --> 00:16:57,769 - Another handsome. - The old horse thief. 206 00:17:07,024 --> 00:17:10,701 - Ever ridden in one? - Rather. All the way to Epsom. 207 00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:13,005 - Lovely lines, hasn't it? - Top end. 208 00:17:13,072 --> 00:17:16,367 - Hot potato, sir? - No, we've just come over for a warm. 209 00:17:16,432 --> 00:17:20,840 Same beastly drizzle, same fog and soot. Good old London. 210 00:17:20,912 --> 00:17:24,207 Now, listen, Suggie. You remember that interview you gave the Times? 211 00:17:24,272 --> 00:17:26,760 - You don't mean to say you read it? - Me? No. 212 00:17:26,832 --> 00:17:30,280 - But I have a niece who has a governess who has a sister. - Pretty? 213 00:17:30,352 --> 00:17:32,839 - Never laid eyes on her. But she read it. - Who? 214 00:17:32,912 --> 00:17:36,142 My niece's governess' sister in Berlin. 215 00:17:36,209 --> 00:17:38,314 And she wrote to her sister over here, 216 00:17:38,385 --> 00:17:42,541 who gave the letter to my niece to give to me to give to you. 217 00:17:42,609 --> 00:17:46,570 - Who do I give it to? - Nobody. It's for you and there it is. 218 00:17:46,641 --> 00:17:48,550 - Why? - Well, read it, you big ape. 219 00:17:48,625 --> 00:17:51,854 You'll find out. It's interesting. 220 00:18:18,192 --> 00:18:20,232 - Sit down. - Thank you, sir. 221 00:18:20,305 --> 00:18:22,792 - Fire away. - Well, sir. I have a friend... 222 00:18:22,864 --> 00:18:25,646 Good. Not everyone can say that. 223 00:18:25,713 --> 00:18:28,014 - Continue. - This friend of mine has a niece... 224 00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:30,863 Cut it short, my boy. You say in here something about a letter. 225 00:18:30,928 --> 00:18:32,783 One: Who wrote it? Two: What's in it? 226 00:18:32,848 --> 00:18:35,782 Three: What's the War Office got to do with it? Four: I'll tell you. 227 00:18:35,856 --> 00:18:38,987 Five: Out. One! 228 00:18:39,056 --> 00:18:42,504 A girl wrote it, from Berlin. Her name's Edith Hunter. She's a governess there. 229 00:18:42,576 --> 00:18:45,064 Rather an uncomfortable billet just now. 230 00:18:45,136 --> 00:18:48,202 That's just it, sir. They hate us in Germany. 231 00:18:48,272 --> 00:18:50,127 They're spreading propaganda all over Europe... 232 00:18:50,192 --> 00:18:53,061 That we're killing women and children in South Africa. 233 00:18:53,136 --> 00:18:56,267 That we're starving them in concentration camps. Shooting mothers, burning babies. 234 00:18:56,336 --> 00:18:58,671 You wouldn't believe the things they've invented. 235 00:18:58,736 --> 00:19:02,249 I spoke to Conan Doyle. He thinks something ought to be done about it too. 236 00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:06,347 About what? What's all this about a letter? And who's Conan Doyle? 237 00:19:06,417 --> 00:19:10,191 The author chap. He writes the Sherlock Holmes stories in the Strand Magazine. 238 00:19:10,257 --> 00:19:13,224 - This Doyle fellow writes the Sherlock Holmes stories? - Yes, sir. 239 00:19:13,297 --> 00:19:16,079 - Conan Doyle, you must have seen his name. - Never heard ofhim. 240 00:19:16,145 --> 00:19:19,723 But I've read every Sherlock Holmes story since they started in July '91. 241 00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:22,029 - Are you reading The Hound of the Baskervilles? - Am I not? 242 00:19:22,097 --> 00:19:23,951 What did you think of the end of the last installment? 243 00:19:24,017 --> 00:19:26,864 A bit of a facer for poor old Watson. 244 00:19:26,928 --> 00:19:28,783 "Lovely evening, my dear Watson. 245 00:19:28,848 --> 00:19:32,590 - I really think you'll be more comfortable outside than in. " 246 00:19:32,657 --> 00:19:34,958 Sarcastic devil, that fellow Holmes. 247 00:19:35,024 --> 00:19:37,228 I once had a C.O. just like him. 248 00:19:37,296 --> 00:19:39,598 He must be a rather good fellow as authors go. 249 00:19:39,664 --> 00:19:43,144 Well, sir, Mr. Conan Doyle is collecting material about our campaign in South Africa... 250 00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:45,191 to counter German propaganda. 251 00:19:45,264 --> 00:19:49,574 - The Times printed an interview with me about seven weeks ago. - Oh, that's bad. 252 00:19:49,648 --> 00:19:52,714 Good rule to keep out of the newspapers. Still, the Times, a bit different. 253 00:19:52,784 --> 00:19:55,434 - Yeah. Yeah, I suppose. - Yes, sir. 254 00:19:55,504 --> 00:19:58,821 In this interview, I mentioned the name of a place called Jordaan Siding. 255 00:19:58,896 --> 00:20:02,125 I was there for seven months. Now, this girl writes from Berlin... 256 00:20:02,192 --> 00:20:04,134 that the worst stories of all are being put about... 257 00:20:04,208 --> 00:20:06,957 by a fellow called Kaunitz who says he saw with his own eyes... 258 00:20:07,024 --> 00:20:10,319 British soldiers kill 250 women and children atJordaan Siding... 259 00:20:10,384 --> 00:20:12,293 in order to save feeding them. 260 00:20:12,368 --> 00:20:15,150 Do you know this fellow Kaunitz? 261 00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:17,354 Of course, sir. He's the most awful little rat. 262 00:20:17,424 --> 00:20:19,279 He was spying for us and spying for the Boers. 263 00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:21,416 He made South Africa too hot for himself and skipped. 264 00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:23,397 Both sides would've shot him if they'd caught him. 265 00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:25,643 I see. What do you want me to do about it? 266 00:20:25,712 --> 00:20:27,567 My leave isn't up for four weeks. 267 00:20:27,632 --> 00:20:31,909 - Why shouldn't I go to Berlin and confront this little rat? - My dear boy. 268 00:20:34,927 --> 00:20:36,870 First of all, it's not done. 269 00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:39,791 This isn't army business. This is embassy. 270 00:20:39,857 --> 00:20:41,995 Leave politics to the politicians. 271 00:20:42,064 --> 00:20:45,261 You wouldn't like a diplomat charging into the front line with your company, would you? 272 00:20:45,328 --> 00:20:48,394 - It might do him a lot of good, sir. - Juvenile nonsense, my boy. 273 00:20:48,464 --> 00:20:52,173 - Sorry, sir. - You were sent home in order to recuperate. 274 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:55,753 - Your country needs you. Play golf? - Yes, sir. 275 00:20:55,824 --> 00:20:58,159 - What's your form? - About ten, sir. 276 00:20:58,224 --> 00:21:00,198 - Hmm. Care for a game? - Sorry, sir. 277 00:21:00,272 --> 00:21:02,825 I'm invited by Lady Gilpin to Leicestershire to start tomorrow. 278 00:21:02,896 --> 00:21:05,896 Oh, enjoy yourself. 279 00:21:05,968 --> 00:21:08,302 - M.I., Major Plumley. - By the way, 280 00:21:08,367 --> 00:21:10,506 - this author chap. - Author chap, sir? 281 00:21:10,576 --> 00:21:16,108 - Yes. This fellow that wrote Hound of the Baskervilles. - Conan Doyle? 282 00:21:16,176 --> 00:21:18,827 You didn't happen to ask him, by any chance, what happens in the next installment, 283 00:21:18,896 --> 00:21:20,652 - Just a moment. - did you? 284 00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:22,989 Yes, sir. There's another murder. 285 00:21:23,056 --> 00:21:25,903 - Not the baronet? - No, sir. The baronet is safe. 286 00:21:25,968 --> 00:21:28,389 Good. Good, I'm glad. 287 00:21:28,464 --> 00:21:30,984 - Warm forJanuary. - Damn cold, I call it. 288 00:21:33,295 --> 00:21:37,518 Take my tip, my boy. You've got a damn good V.C. Now keep quiet for a bit, hmm? 289 00:21:43,055 --> 00:21:45,838 Well, what did he say? 290 00:21:51,183 --> 00:21:53,223 Look here, do you still want to go to the theater tonight? 291 00:21:53,295 --> 00:21:56,110 - Well, I like that. You told me when I asked you... - Never mind what I said. 292 00:21:56,175 --> 00:21:59,274 Here you are, box "A." Her Majesty's Theater, The Last of the Dandies. 293 00:21:59,344 --> 00:22:01,198 Introduce yourself to Lady Gilpin and Sybil. 294 00:22:01,264 --> 00:22:02,889 Say I've gone on some secret mission. 295 00:22:02,959 --> 00:22:04,814 Make me out the most mysterious, romantic figure. 296 00:22:04,879 --> 00:22:06,920 The girl's pretty. The mother's a gorgon. 297 00:22:06,992 --> 00:22:09,294 - Are you going on a secret mission? - Yes, to Berlin. 298 00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:11,749 - Did he send you? - No, it's a secret from him too. 299 00:22:18,095 --> 00:22:20,038 Morning, Brady. You send those flowers? 300 00:22:20,111 --> 00:22:22,446 Yes, sir. Oh, Mr. Hopwell, there's a postcard for you, sir. 301 00:22:22,512 --> 00:22:24,901 Ah, from Mr. Candy. So the old bugger got there. 302 00:22:24,976 --> 00:22:27,561 - How is Mr. Candy, sir? - Read it yourself. 303 00:22:56,975 --> 00:22:59,692 - Mr. Candy? Yes. - Miss Hunter? 304 00:22:59,759 --> 00:23:02,574 Thank you for your telegram. It came as a great surprise to me. 305 00:23:02,639 --> 00:23:05,127 - I had no idea you were in Berlin. - Nor had I, till now. 306 00:23:05,199 --> 00:23:07,949 - I beg your pardon? - I only arrived yesterday. 307 00:23:08,015 --> 00:23:11,211 Do you... Can you possibly mean that you've come here solely on account of my letter? 308 00:23:11,279 --> 00:23:13,668 - Well, naturally. - Oh. 309 00:23:13,743 --> 00:23:17,191 - You don't mind, do you? - No, no. Of course not. 310 00:23:17,263 --> 00:23:20,645 Well, shall we sit down? 311 00:23:25,998 --> 00:23:28,170 - Did you have a good journey? - Excellent. 312 00:23:28,239 --> 00:23:30,694 I'm sorry to bring you out in such weather. I was about to call on you. 313 00:23:30,767 --> 00:23:32,621 - I've changed my address. - Indeed? 314 00:23:32,687 --> 00:23:35,469 - My position became intolerable. I've had to leave. - No. 315 00:23:35,535 --> 00:23:38,187 English people are not very popular in Berlin at the moment, you know. 316 00:23:38,256 --> 00:23:40,711 - Do you mean you've lost your job because you're English? - Yes. 317 00:23:40,784 --> 00:23:43,948 - Can you get another job? - Perhaps in a few months' time. Not now. 318 00:23:44,016 --> 00:23:46,350 - What will you do now? - Go back. 319 00:23:46,415 --> 00:23:48,652 - To England? - Yes, I'm afraid so. 320 00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:51,469 Cheer up. England isn't as bad as all that, you know. 321 00:23:51,535 --> 00:23:54,503 That is what we both want to prove, isn't it, Mr. Candy? 322 00:23:54,576 --> 00:23:56,714 Yes, Miss Hunter. 323 00:23:56,783 --> 00:24:00,558 - How shall we begin? - You mentioned in your letter a fellow named Kaunitz. 324 00:24:00,623 --> 00:24:02,892 - Do you know what he looks like? - No, I've never seen him. 325 00:24:02,959 --> 00:24:05,326 - I know a caf� where he and his friends hold their Stammtisch. - You do? 326 00:24:05,391 --> 00:24:07,780 That means they have a table regularly reserved for them. 327 00:24:07,855 --> 00:24:09,710 Do you know any of his friends, Miss Hunter? 328 00:24:09,775 --> 00:24:11,750 Yes, one. A student. 329 00:24:11,824 --> 00:24:15,206 A brother of my employer... my ex-employer. He is a Burschenschafter. 330 00:24:15,279 --> 00:24:18,792 - You know what Burschenschafts are? - No, Miss Hunter. 331 00:24:18,863 --> 00:24:21,546 They are associations of students professing political principles. 332 00:24:21,615 --> 00:24:24,168 They assert them by drinking beer and fighting duels. 333 00:24:24,239 --> 00:24:27,109 - Dueling is very popular here, I believe. - Oh, yes. 334 00:24:27,183 --> 00:24:30,926 It's a proud father that has a scarred son and vice versa. 335 00:24:30,991 --> 00:24:33,674 German girls find scars very attractive. 336 00:24:33,743 --> 00:24:37,605 A book was recently published on the German colonies in which it was specifically stated... 337 00:24:37,679 --> 00:24:40,068 that one of the advantages of possessing dueling scars was... 338 00:24:40,143 --> 00:24:42,990 that the natives of Africa look with more respect upon a white man who bears them... 339 00:24:43,054 --> 00:24:47,048 - than upon those who do not. - I feel like Stanley and Livingston. 340 00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:51,112 - Surely not the both, Mr. Candy. - No, you're Miss Livingston. I'm the missionary. 341 00:24:51,183 --> 00:24:55,940 - Livingston was the missionary, Mr. Candy. - Oh, yes. Of course. So he was. 342 00:24:56,015 --> 00:24:58,829 Well, about this caf�, can you take me there this evening? 343 00:24:58,895 --> 00:25:00,585 - Do you wish me to accompany you? - Of course. 344 00:25:00,654 --> 00:25:02,826 - Very well. - I mean, it's awfully nice of you. 345 00:25:02,895 --> 00:25:06,059 I should obviously be absolutely lost without you. 346 00:25:06,127 --> 00:25:08,428 Dear Mr. Candy, you are Livingston... 347 00:25:08,494 --> 00:25:10,350 I presume. 348 00:26:09,679 --> 00:26:11,533 Mr. Candy. 349 00:26:27,694 --> 00:26:30,476 Ninety-three. Oh, it's a song. All the rage just now. 350 00:26:30,542 --> 00:26:34,699 "Die M�hle ging 'rum und 'rum." The mill went round and round, Mr. Candy. 351 00:26:43,023 --> 00:26:48,391 - Miss Hunter, I'm afraid I've met you here under false pretenses. - Indeed? Why? 352 00:26:48,463 --> 00:26:51,179 There are political complications. 353 00:26:51,247 --> 00:26:53,189 The Prince of Wales is coming to Berlin. 354 00:26:53,262 --> 00:26:55,815 He's invited to the kaiser's birthday party. 355 00:26:55,886 --> 00:26:59,596 - A goodwill visit and all that sort of thing, you know. - I know. It was in the papers. 356 00:27:01,231 --> 00:27:04,100 You see, Miss Hunter, I know a chap at our embassy here. 357 00:27:04,174 --> 00:27:07,470 We were at school together. His name's Fitzroy. 358 00:27:07,535 --> 00:27:09,836 Only we used to call him Babyface. 359 00:27:09,903 --> 00:27:13,929 But how are the Prince of Wales and your friend Babyface connected? 360 00:27:15,279 --> 00:27:17,767 Well, you see, 361 00:27:17,839 --> 00:27:21,221 he nearly had a fit when he knew why I'd come. 362 00:27:21,295 --> 00:27:23,269 Babyface, I mean. 363 00:27:23,342 --> 00:27:26,342 He lugged me in to see the second secretary and he nearly had a fit too... 364 00:27:26,414 --> 00:27:29,261 the possible scandal, you know. 365 00:27:29,327 --> 00:27:32,360 Are you coming to a point, Mr. Candy? 366 00:27:32,430 --> 00:27:37,831 Yes. The point is that I had to promise to do nothing. 367 00:27:37,902 --> 00:27:42,212 - And I went bail for you too. - Oh. 368 00:27:42,286 --> 00:27:47,501 Apparently, it's a matter for careful diplomacy. You can see what they mean. 369 00:27:47,566 --> 00:27:49,933 - Yes, of course. - I know nothing about politics. 370 00:27:49,998 --> 00:27:52,364 I rather stuck my head in where I wasn't wanted. 371 00:27:52,430 --> 00:27:54,917 You know, I could get into the most awful trouble. 372 00:27:54,990 --> 00:27:58,602 - Trouble, Mr. Candy? - Well, I'm a soldier. You know that, Miss Hunter. 373 00:27:58,670 --> 00:28:00,557 I thought you were a soldier this morning, Mr. Candy, 374 00:28:00,622 --> 00:28:03,851 or have you joined the army since lunch? 375 00:28:11,759 --> 00:28:14,541 - The table's filling up. - Whose table? 376 00:28:14,606 --> 00:28:18,534 Don't you remember the Stammtisch? It's where Kaunitz will sit. 377 00:28:18,606 --> 00:28:20,581 You know, it's a bit staggering... 378 00:28:20,655 --> 00:28:23,240 to see a girl take such an interest in politics. 379 00:28:23,310 --> 00:28:26,092 - Politics? - Well, what else can you call it? 380 00:28:26,159 --> 00:28:28,809 German propaganda against England. Counter-propaganda. 381 00:28:28,878 --> 00:28:31,748 This Verband he's in. That's politics, isn't it? 382 00:28:31,823 --> 00:28:34,637 Not for me, nor for a great many people. 383 00:28:34,703 --> 00:28:36,874 You see, Mr. Candy, when our embassy in Berlin... 384 00:28:36,942 --> 00:28:40,837 reports to the foreign office in London that a slight change of attitude is visible... 385 00:28:40,910 --> 00:28:43,594 in the German nationals towards the Boer question, 386 00:28:43,662 --> 00:28:46,444 I have to report home in my letter that I have lost my position... 387 00:28:46,510 --> 00:28:48,714 and am returning to the bosom of my family. 388 00:28:48,782 --> 00:28:50,637 I suppose they'll be rather sick about it. 389 00:28:50,702 --> 00:28:53,004 On the contrary, they will welcome me with open arms. 390 00:28:53,070 --> 00:28:55,590 - I don't blame them, either. - No, Mr. Candy, you see, 391 00:28:55,662 --> 00:28:58,150 my family were opposed to my coming to Berlin. 392 00:28:58,222 --> 00:29:01,069 - They said that the best place for a young girl is home. - Quite so. 393 00:29:01,134 --> 00:29:02,989 - Why? - What do you mean, why? 394 00:29:03,054 --> 00:29:04,996 How do you know what is the best place for a young girl? 395 00:29:05,070 --> 00:29:08,965 - Are you a girl? Have you any daughters? - I say. 396 00:29:09,038 --> 00:29:12,420 You see, while you men have been fighting, we women have been thinking. 397 00:29:12,494 --> 00:29:16,717 Think for yourself, Mr. Candy. What careers are there open to a woman? 398 00:29:16,782 --> 00:29:18,637 - She can get married. - I was just going to say. 399 00:29:18,702 --> 00:29:21,190 Supposing she doesn't want to get married? 400 00:29:21,261 --> 00:29:23,116 She can go and be a governess. 401 00:29:23,181 --> 00:29:26,313 But what does a governess know, Mr. Candy? Nothing, I assure you. 402 00:29:26,382 --> 00:29:29,065 Then what can she teach the children who are in her charge? 403 00:29:29,133 --> 00:29:32,516 Very little except good manners, if she herself has good manners. 404 00:29:32,589 --> 00:29:37,346 - Good manners are important. - Did you learn that in South Africa, Mr. Candy? 405 00:29:37,421 --> 00:29:42,157 My brothers told me that good manners cost us Magerfontein, Stormberg and Colenso. 406 00:29:42,222 --> 00:29:46,957 Six thousand men killed and 20,000 wounded, and two years of war. 407 00:29:47,022 --> 00:29:51,397 When with a little common sense and bad manners, there would have been no war at all. 408 00:29:58,254 --> 00:30:01,866 One thing I don't understand is why you should have to teach German children manners. 409 00:30:01,934 --> 00:30:03,789 I should've thought there were plenty of English kids who... 410 00:30:03,854 --> 00:30:06,472 - I will tell you if you promise not to laugh at me. - I promise. 411 00:30:06,542 --> 00:30:10,765 - My only asset is a fluent command of English. - Hear, hear. 412 00:30:10,830 --> 00:30:13,350 Obviously to teach English in England is to carry coals to Newcastle... 413 00:30:13,422 --> 00:30:15,277 and correspondingly ill-paid. 414 00:30:15,342 --> 00:30:17,513 I therefore decided to obtain a post in Germany... 415 00:30:17,582 --> 00:30:19,470 where my English would command a premium, 416 00:30:19,534 --> 00:30:23,429 - and having learnt German, to return to England where my German... - Well, I'll be sugared. 417 00:30:34,573 --> 00:30:37,672 - That is he. - It's him all right, the little skunk. 418 00:30:41,262 --> 00:30:44,425 - Well, shall we go? - Go? 419 00:30:44,494 --> 00:30:46,501 Oh, yes, I suppose so. 420 00:30:46,574 --> 00:30:49,890 History will remember this as the great retreat from the Caf� H�henzollern. 421 00:30:49,966 --> 00:30:51,853 Just a second, please. 422 00:30:55,726 --> 00:30:59,403 Here we are. Can you get the orchestra to play 141? 423 00:30:59,469 --> 00:31:02,785 Why, yes, of course. Call a waiter. Herr Ober. 424 00:31:02,861 --> 00:31:04,966 Oh, it's Mignon. "I am Tatania." Do you really like it? 425 00:31:05,037 --> 00:31:08,834 Please ask him. I'll explain later. Herr Ober. 426 00:31:16,814 --> 00:31:19,432 - Herr Kapellmeister. - Bitte. 427 00:31:19,502 --> 00:31:23,779 Der Tisch da dr�ben w�nscht die Mignon. Die Dame mit dem Hut. 428 00:31:29,582 --> 00:31:32,430 Kaunitz was a prisoner in our blockhouse for seven weeks. 429 00:31:32,494 --> 00:31:34,436 This was the only record we had on our phonograph. 430 00:31:34,510 --> 00:31:37,095 I want to see if he remembers it. 431 00:31:48,429 --> 00:31:50,338 Touched him on the raw, all right. 432 00:31:55,502 --> 00:31:56,484 Herr Ober.! 433 00:31:56,558 --> 00:31:58,947 He's calling the waiter. Herr Ober. 434 00:32:01,517 --> 00:32:05,129 - Is it done to bribe the orchestra? - Not with money. Beer. 435 00:32:05,198 --> 00:32:08,165 - Bier f�r das Orchester. - Jawohl. 436 00:32:38,093 --> 00:32:40,581 Round one to Kaunitz. 437 00:32:40,653 --> 00:32:43,948 Also, prost, meine Herren. Prost. 438 00:32:45,038 --> 00:32:47,404 Reinforcements are coming. 439 00:32:58,702 --> 00:33:01,768 Herr Kapellmeister, Bier f�r das Orchester. 440 00:33:01,838 --> 00:33:04,904 Das ist grossartig. 441 00:33:04,974 --> 00:33:06,883 Bier. 442 00:33:11,981 --> 00:33:16,138 - Wovon kommt das? - Von dem Tisch da dr�ben. 443 00:33:36,973 --> 00:33:39,722 - Herr Ober.! - Herr Kaunitz. Jawohl, Herr Kaunitz. 444 00:33:49,357 --> 00:33:52,652 - He's coming up. - Let us go, Mr. Candy. 445 00:33:52,717 --> 00:33:55,586 A bit late now. 446 00:33:55,660 --> 00:33:58,049 - I hope he doesn't see you. - I hope he does. 447 00:34:03,852 --> 00:34:05,892 Hello, Kaunitz. 448 00:34:11,020 --> 00:34:13,922 - Come on, Kaunitz. You speak English. - I do. 449 00:34:16,622 --> 00:34:18,509 But I prefer German. 450 00:34:18,573 --> 00:34:21,224 Meine Damen und Herren.! 451 00:34:21,293 --> 00:34:23,148 Stop it, Kaunitz. I'm with a lady. 452 00:34:23,213 --> 00:34:26,562 You should have thought of that before you started your little joke. 453 00:34:26,637 --> 00:34:28,776 Stop it, Kaunitz. 454 00:34:28,846 --> 00:34:32,141 - Take off your... - Come on, be a good man. 455 00:34:39,053 --> 00:34:40,941 Get back to your table. 456 00:34:47,821 --> 00:34:52,556 - Daf�r werden sie Rechenschaft geben, Sie Flegel. - Rasch. Hilf mir, Hans. 457 00:34:54,381 --> 00:34:56,682 Herr Kapellmeister. Spielen Sie. 458 00:35:00,844 --> 00:35:03,113 Please tell him it's all his fault. 459 00:35:03,181 --> 00:35:05,035 - He started it. - Engl�nder.! 460 00:35:05,101 --> 00:35:08,417 Bitte, meine Herren. Kein Skandal. 461 00:35:08,493 --> 00:35:12,235 Eine Schande. Sie dulden englische Schweine in ihrem Lokal. 462 00:35:12,301 --> 00:35:15,367 - Wir haben gar nichts gemacht. - Mit ihnen haben wir nichts zu tun. 463 00:35:15,436 --> 00:35:17,291 Manners. 464 00:35:17,356 --> 00:35:20,389 Ich spreche Englisch. You will get into great trouble, my man. 465 00:35:20,460 --> 00:35:25,414 - You are not now in England. - You saw very well that he asked for it. 466 00:35:25,485 --> 00:35:27,656 Herr Kaunitz is a friend of us. 467 00:35:27,724 --> 00:35:31,717 - You will satisfaction give. - Please stop shouting. You don't understand. 468 00:35:31,788 --> 00:35:34,177 This gentleman and Herr Kaunitz are old friends. 469 00:35:34,252 --> 00:35:38,759 Was sagt sie? 470 00:35:38,828 --> 00:35:41,610 It's going a bit far to call that skunk a friend of mine. 471 00:35:41,676 --> 00:35:45,025 Herr Kaunitz is a member of der Alldeutsche Verband. 472 00:35:45,100 --> 00:35:47,654 Then the Alldeutsche Verband ought to be ashamed of itself. 473 00:35:54,221 --> 00:35:57,450 Mein Herr, officers of the lmperial German Army... 474 00:35:57,517 --> 00:36:00,038 are members of the Alldeutsche Verband. 475 00:36:00,108 --> 00:36:02,497 Then the officers of the lmperial German Army... 476 00:36:02,573 --> 00:36:04,810 ought to be ashamed of themselves too. 477 00:36:40,973 --> 00:36:42,882 Einen Augenblick, bitte. 478 00:36:49,004 --> 00:36:51,044 Bitte sehr. 479 00:37:05,100 --> 00:37:08,231 - Von Ritter. - Von Schonborn. - Uh, Fitzroy. 480 00:37:09,740 --> 00:37:11,976 - K�nnen wir mit Ihnen Deutsch sprechen? - Nat�rlich. 481 00:37:12,044 --> 00:37:13,899 Was w�nschen Sie, meine Herren? 482 00:37:13,964 --> 00:37:17,193 It being on British territory, should we rather speak in English? 483 00:37:17,259 --> 00:37:19,878 Righto. How can I help you gentlemen? Won't you sit down? 484 00:37:19,948 --> 00:37:21,803 Thank you. 485 00:37:24,813 --> 00:37:27,180 Thank you. 486 00:37:27,245 --> 00:37:30,540 We wish some information about a compatriot of yours in Berlin, 487 00:37:30,604 --> 00:37:33,866 - a certain Mr. Candy. - Clive Candy? 488 00:37:33,932 --> 00:37:35,787 - Yes, Clive Candy. - You've come to the right man. 489 00:37:35,852 --> 00:37:37,924 - I know him well. We were at Harrow together. - Indeed? 490 00:37:37,996 --> 00:37:40,931 We've lost touch a bit since the war, though. He's army, you know. 491 00:37:41,004 --> 00:37:42,859 He is an officer of the British Army? 492 00:37:42,924 --> 00:37:45,739 - Yes, he's just returned from South Africa. - This is excellent news. 493 00:37:48,269 --> 00:37:50,756 - You have relieved us from great doubts. - I don't quite understand. 494 00:37:50,828 --> 00:37:53,414 We were worried that your friend might not be able to give satisfaction. 495 00:37:53,484 --> 00:37:55,338 Satisfaction? 496 00:37:55,404 --> 00:37:57,705 It is understood that an officer of the lmperial German Army... 497 00:37:57,772 --> 00:38:02,148 cannot demand satisfaction from an opponent who is not his equal in position and honor. 498 00:38:02,220 --> 00:38:04,587 But since this Clive Candy is an officer, 499 00:38:04,652 --> 00:38:07,107 - he can be challenged. - Challenged? To what? 500 00:38:07,180 --> 00:38:09,034 - To a duel, Mr. Fitzroy. - Duel? 501 00:38:16,204 --> 00:38:18,059 Venning, hurry over to the Kaiserhof. 502 00:38:18,124 --> 00:38:20,360 Bring Mr. Clive Candy here at once. Don't come back without him. 503 00:38:20,428 --> 00:38:22,337 Yes, Mr. Fitzroy. 504 00:38:31,852 --> 00:38:35,048 - I told you to hurry, Venning. Don't argue. Go at once! - But... 505 00:38:41,868 --> 00:38:45,664 - Mr. Candy has insulted the whole of the German Army. - I didn't insult anybody. 506 00:38:45,739 --> 00:38:49,318 I said if the army officers belonged to the Alldeutsche Verband with Kaunitz... 507 00:38:49,388 --> 00:38:53,382 Then the German Army ought to be ashamed of itself. That's what you said. 508 00:38:53,453 --> 00:38:55,427 Eighty-two Ulan officers want to challenge you. 509 00:38:55,500 --> 00:38:57,507 Mr. Candy's told me the whole story. 510 00:38:57,580 --> 00:39:00,929 By the way, Candy, that girl you mentioned, is she trustworthy? 511 00:39:01,004 --> 00:39:02,760 Oh, undoubtedly, sir. 512 00:39:02,828 --> 00:39:06,057 Surely it's not suggested that Mr. Candy should fight the whole officer corps. 513 00:39:06,124 --> 00:39:08,426 They're drawing lots, sir, to decide who is to have the honor... 514 00:39:08,492 --> 00:39:11,940 of fighting this gentleman who has not insulted anybody. 515 00:39:12,012 --> 00:39:14,346 Yes, I agree. Have you any suggestions, Colonel? 516 00:39:14,412 --> 00:39:17,260 Militarily speaking, Mr. Candy has no option. 517 00:39:17,324 --> 00:39:19,658 He cannot fight a duel. He must run away. 518 00:39:19,724 --> 00:39:22,506 Politically speaking, such an action would be disastrous. 519 00:39:22,572 --> 00:39:25,125 - Mr. Candy must fight. - Yes, but, gentlemen, one moment. 520 00:39:25,196 --> 00:39:27,814 Surely you're leaving Mr. Candy out of your calculations. 521 00:39:27,884 --> 00:39:31,200 - I'll fight if necessary, sir. - Yes, my dear boy. I know that. 522 00:39:31,276 --> 00:39:34,756 - You'd better go to your hotel and stay there. - Yes, sir. 523 00:39:34,828 --> 00:39:37,250 And could you get in touch with Miss... 524 00:39:37,323 --> 00:39:39,178 Miss Hunter, sir? I believe I could. 525 00:39:39,243 --> 00:39:41,251 Explain to her it's necessary to give the impression... 526 00:39:41,323 --> 00:39:45,098 that your reasons for coming to Berlin were to see her, hmm? 527 00:39:45,163 --> 00:39:47,880 - You're probably in love with her or something of the sort. - I say, sir. But I'm not. 528 00:39:47,947 --> 00:39:51,941 My dear Mr. Candy, you've caused enough trouble already. Do what I ask. 529 00:39:52,012 --> 00:39:56,005 Meanwhile, I and these gentlemen will discuss the best way to get you out of this... 530 00:39:56,075 --> 00:39:57,930 and us. 531 00:39:57,995 --> 00:40:00,362 Well, you are a bloody... 532 00:40:08,491 --> 00:40:12,801 May I have the codex, Herr Eckmeister? 533 00:40:12,875 --> 00:40:14,730 Thank you. 534 00:40:14,795 --> 00:40:17,894 This is our famous Brown Codex, Colonel Goodhead. 535 00:40:17,963 --> 00:40:20,517 The code of honor observed by all duelists. 536 00:40:20,588 --> 00:40:23,141 We thought you might not be familiar with it. 537 00:40:23,212 --> 00:40:26,179 Thank you, I shall study it with attention. 538 00:40:26,252 --> 00:40:28,969 We have permission to offer for the site of the duel... 539 00:40:29,036 --> 00:40:31,589 the gymnasium at the barracks of our regiment. 540 00:40:32,972 --> 00:40:35,012 We agree. 541 00:40:35,084 --> 00:40:37,505 We are now in the position to announce the name of our fellow officer... 542 00:40:37,580 --> 00:40:39,652 who will fight Lieutenant Candy... 543 00:40:39,723 --> 00:40:41,960 Oberleutnant Theodor Kretschmar-Schuldorff. 544 00:40:42,028 --> 00:40:44,003 - May I make a note of that? - With the greatest of pleasure. 545 00:40:44,076 --> 00:40:46,247 - His card. - Thank you. 546 00:40:46,316 --> 00:40:51,138 Have you gentlemen any suggestions regarding choice of leader for the duel? 547 00:40:51,212 --> 00:40:54,375 We suggest the military attach� to the Swedish delegation. 548 00:40:56,491 --> 00:40:58,400 We agree. His name is? 549 00:40:58,475 --> 00:41:00,548 - Colonel Borg. - Colonel Borg. 550 00:41:00,620 --> 00:41:04,035 Regarding sabers, we shall, of course, supply a number to choose from. 551 00:41:04,108 --> 00:41:07,523 - With your permission, we shall supply a number as well. - Most certainly, colonel. 552 00:41:07,596 --> 00:41:11,043 - The choice of sabers will be determined by lot. - I see. 553 00:41:11,115 --> 00:41:15,490 You know, of course, that sabers must not exceed the maximum weight of 60 dekagrams. 554 00:41:16,715 --> 00:41:20,392 - Sixty dekagrams. - We shall make a note of it. 555 00:41:20,459 --> 00:41:23,176 You will, of course, bring your own doctor. We shall bring ours. 556 00:41:23,243 --> 00:41:25,098 We agree. 557 00:41:25,163 --> 00:41:28,262 Do you prefer to strip the upper parts of the bodies of the combatants, 558 00:41:28,331 --> 00:41:30,818 - or do you prefer them in shirtsleeves? - Shirtsleeves. 559 00:41:30,891 --> 00:41:35,266 I see here that paragraph 133 says, 560 00:41:35,339 --> 00:41:38,885 "A few hours previous to the duel, it is advisable to take a bath." 561 00:41:38,955 --> 00:41:41,191 Only the principals, not the seconds. 562 00:41:43,563 --> 00:41:46,214 It's a very strange sensation to be preparing a duel... 563 00:41:46,283 --> 00:41:48,552 between two people who've never even seen each other. 564 00:41:48,619 --> 00:41:50,691 It happens sometimes. 565 00:41:50,762 --> 00:41:53,032 Marriages also, you know? 566 00:41:53,100 --> 00:41:54,954 By the way, has your man ever fought a duel? 567 00:41:55,020 --> 00:41:56,776 No. Has yours? 568 00:41:56,844 --> 00:41:58,949 Strictly between ourselves, 569 00:41:59,020 --> 00:42:01,922 Theo doesn't really approve of duels. 570 00:42:01,996 --> 00:42:05,508 Then, gentlemen, is this fight really necessary? 571 00:42:07,660 --> 00:42:13,093 Sir, there are moments in a soldier's life when his personal feelings do not count. 572 00:42:13,163 --> 00:42:17,833 Oberleutnant Kretschmar-Schuldorff knows his duties very well. 573 00:42:22,763 --> 00:42:24,651 We have not agreed upon the time, gentlemen. 574 00:42:24,715 --> 00:42:26,919 Will 7:00 in the morning be agreeable to you? 575 00:42:26,987 --> 00:42:29,769 - Get it over early? - I agree. Seven o'clock. 576 00:42:29,835 --> 00:42:32,202 It would be advisable to meet half an hour earlier. 577 00:42:32,267 --> 00:42:35,496 At 6:30 a.m. in the gymnasium of the barracks of the Second Ulans. 578 00:42:45,035 --> 00:42:47,369 Here comes our man. 579 00:42:53,323 --> 00:42:55,177 - Morning. Slept well? - Very. 580 00:42:55,243 --> 00:42:57,544 He was still sleeping when I called for him at the hotel. 581 00:42:57,610 --> 00:43:00,229 - They forgot to wake me. - Your nerves are all right, my boy. 582 00:43:00,299 --> 00:43:03,298 - Dr. Crowther, Mr. Candy. - How do you do? 583 00:43:03,370 --> 00:43:05,989 Oh. 584 00:43:06,059 --> 00:43:07,913 Why wasn't I allowed any breakfast? 585 00:43:07,978 --> 00:43:10,793 - 'Cause the book says not. - It would. 586 00:43:10,858 --> 00:43:12,746 Ah, you'll do. 587 00:43:12,810 --> 00:43:15,712 - Do you want this? - I hope you've read it. 588 00:43:15,786 --> 00:43:18,917 Miss Hunter read it. She says it's a joke, good enough for punch. 589 00:43:18,986 --> 00:43:22,184 - Where is Theo Kretschmar-Schuldorff? - He hasn't shown up yet. 590 00:43:22,252 --> 00:43:24,324 I congratulate you on your pronunciation of the name. 591 00:43:24,395 --> 00:43:26,664 I learned it by heart so that when my grandchildren say, 592 00:43:26,731 --> 00:43:29,284 "Grandpa, have you ever cut anybody's ear off?" 593 00:43:29,355 --> 00:43:32,967 I shall be able to say, "Yes, Theo Kretschmar-Schuldorff's." 594 00:43:33,035 --> 00:43:36,166 Nobody could invent a name like that. Hello, who's this? 595 00:43:36,235 --> 00:43:39,464 Colonel Borg, the Swedish military attach�. He's going to lead the combat. 596 00:43:39,531 --> 00:43:41,898 Colonel Borg, Mr. Candy. 597 00:43:41,963 --> 00:43:44,646 I must of course use German expressions. 598 00:43:44,715 --> 00:43:48,938 I shall say los for starting, and halt for stop. 599 00:43:49,003 --> 00:43:51,491 - Can you memorize these two words? - I'll try, sir. 600 00:43:51,562 --> 00:43:53,635 Anyhow, at the beginning, I'll be pretty sure that you mean start, 601 00:43:53,707 --> 00:43:56,096 and during the combat, you're not likely to say "start" again. 602 00:43:56,171 --> 00:43:58,374 That is true. 603 00:43:58,443 --> 00:44:00,297 Excuse me. 604 00:44:01,418 --> 00:44:03,840 Seven o'clock. Theo Kretschmar-Schuldorff... 605 00:44:03,915 --> 00:44:06,184 will forfeit his entrance fee if he isn't... 606 00:44:23,531 --> 00:44:25,702 I wish I'd brought my uniform. 607 00:44:25,770 --> 00:44:29,032 - How are you with a saber? - Oh, I don't know. I know which end to hold. 608 00:44:29,099 --> 00:44:32,197 - We drew lots for them. - I hope mine's a nice light one. 609 00:44:32,266 --> 00:44:34,306 All sabers weigh the same. 610 00:44:46,762 --> 00:44:49,096 Seconds, please. 611 00:44:49,162 --> 00:44:52,478 Excuse me, please. Would you undo your shirt? 612 00:44:56,939 --> 00:44:58,849 Thank you. 613 00:44:58,923 --> 00:45:00,777 Right. 614 00:45:00,843 --> 00:45:03,810 Do you want to roll up your sleeve or will you rip it off? 615 00:45:03,883 --> 00:45:07,079 - What's better? - I am not permitted to give advice. 616 00:45:07,146 --> 00:45:09,318 - I think I'll rip it. - It is definitely better. 617 00:45:09,387 --> 00:45:11,241 Doctor, your scissors, please. 618 00:45:15,531 --> 00:45:19,306 - What did he hope to find in there? - Protective bandages. 619 00:45:49,322 --> 00:45:51,264 Good luck, my boy. 620 00:45:51,338 --> 00:45:54,055 Now you alone will come with me, please. 621 00:46:00,330 --> 00:46:03,145 You'd better rub your feet in the rosin. 622 00:46:19,594 --> 00:46:22,463 I shall read now the protocol. 623 00:46:28,139 --> 00:46:31,816 You will start only at the command los. 624 00:46:39,018 --> 00:46:44,069 You must stop the combat if you hear the command halt, whoever may say it. 625 00:46:56,298 --> 00:46:59,331 If you feel to be wounded, you must stop the combat, 626 00:46:59,402 --> 00:47:03,875 and by leaping back you must regain position at the original distance, 627 00:47:03,946 --> 00:47:06,499 even if no "halt" has been commanded. 628 00:47:11,338 --> 00:47:16,740 It is forbidden to seize the weapon of the opponent with the bare hand. 629 00:47:19,177 --> 00:47:21,283 Sekundanten, bitte. 630 00:47:48,137 --> 00:47:50,526 Into fighting position, please. 631 00:48:02,250 --> 00:48:04,868 Ready? 632 00:48:04,938 --> 00:48:07,394 Los.! 633 00:49:12,937 --> 00:49:15,807 - They must have started by now. - You never know. 634 00:49:15,882 --> 00:49:17,824 I heard of one chap whose nerve broke. 635 00:49:17,897 --> 00:49:20,865 - Absolutely went all to pieces. - Poor fellow. 636 00:49:20,938 --> 00:49:23,840 He was in such a funk, this chap, that he couldn't even lift his arm. 637 00:49:23,913 --> 00:49:26,150 The seconds tried to lift it for him, but as soon as they let go, 638 00:49:26,217 --> 00:49:28,290 down it dropped like a railroad signal. 639 00:49:28,362 --> 00:49:30,915 Rum. 640 00:49:30,986 --> 00:49:34,783 I say, I hope our chap doesn't get killed. It'll create an awful stink if he does. 641 00:49:34,858 --> 00:49:37,411 Mr. Fitzroy, I think you are the most odious man I've ever met. 642 00:49:37,482 --> 00:49:40,384 And if anything does happen to him, I'll blow up your embassy! 643 00:49:40,458 --> 00:49:44,614 - I say, are you a suffragette? - Never mind, but if anything does happen to Mr. Candy, l... 644 00:49:44,682 --> 00:49:47,584 Oh, you mean Suggie. I was talking about the German fellow. 645 00:49:47,658 --> 00:49:50,243 Why, nothing could possibly ever happen to Suggie. 646 00:49:50,314 --> 00:49:52,735 He won the fencing shield at school two years running. 647 00:49:52,810 --> 00:49:54,948 - Do you know that man has the most... - Oh, look. 648 00:50:28,105 --> 00:50:29,960 - Afternoon, Miss Hunter. - Good afternoon. 649 00:50:30,025 --> 00:50:31,880 - You can go in now, my dear. - How is he? 650 00:50:31,945 --> 00:50:34,433 The doctors say six to eight weeks, not longer. 651 00:50:34,505 --> 00:50:36,544 - Fit as a fiddle. - I'm so glad. 652 00:50:36,617 --> 00:50:38,559 They've given permission for you to stay here in the building. 653 00:50:38,633 --> 00:50:40,640 I'm not staying in Germany, Colonel Goodhead. 654 00:50:40,713 --> 00:50:43,615 I go back tomorrow. I've already telegraphed my father. 655 00:50:43,689 --> 00:50:47,104 - Haven't you told her? - No. 656 00:50:47,177 --> 00:50:49,184 Now, Miss Hunter, you must be sensible. 657 00:50:49,257 --> 00:50:51,646 We're very fortunate that everything has gone off so well. 658 00:50:51,721 --> 00:50:53,761 You wouldn't want to spoil everything, would you? 659 00:50:53,833 --> 00:50:55,687 Spoil everything? 660 00:50:55,753 --> 00:50:58,307 The duel was generally supposed to be about you. 661 00:50:58,378 --> 00:51:00,352 What would people say if you left him now, 662 00:51:00,425 --> 00:51:03,076 wounded and alone in a nursing home? 663 00:51:03,146 --> 00:51:05,055 Naturally, I thought you understood all this. 664 00:51:05,129 --> 00:51:08,926 - Otherwise, why have you come here? - To say good-bye to Mr. Candy. 665 00:51:09,002 --> 00:51:10,856 Go in now, Miss Hunter. 666 00:51:10,922 --> 00:51:14,664 And don't bother about the bills. They have orders to send those to the embassy. 667 00:51:14,729 --> 00:51:16,801 - Good afternoon. - Good afternoon. 668 00:51:16,873 --> 00:51:18,783 Good afternoon, Miss Hunter. 669 00:51:20,105 --> 00:51:22,047 Well. 670 00:51:39,881 --> 00:51:41,736 Bitte. 671 00:51:43,177 --> 00:51:46,111 - Guten Tag... - Good afternoon, Miss Hunter. You are Miss Hunter? 672 00:51:46,185 --> 00:51:49,251 My name is Erna Konig, and I speak really excellent English. 673 00:51:49,321 --> 00:51:51,688 Oh, that's splendid. How is he? 674 00:51:51,753 --> 00:51:56,423 He can neither hear nor speak. It will be very difficult for a day or two until we take the bandages off. 675 00:51:56,489 --> 00:51:59,969 He has a fine cut. His upper lip is very nearly severed. 676 00:52:00,041 --> 00:52:03,587 It is really almost ten centimeters in length. A knife could not have done it better. 677 00:52:03,657 --> 00:52:06,723 - Is he in great pain? - Oh, but certainly. 678 00:52:06,793 --> 00:52:09,182 He is a very lucky man not to have glass splinters in the wound. 679 00:52:09,256 --> 00:52:11,777 - Glass splinters? - It is a very common accident in our winter. 680 00:52:11,849 --> 00:52:14,434 The snow freeze on the boot. The warm room melt the ice. 681 00:52:14,504 --> 00:52:18,214 And the little piece of slippery ice lie in wait for the hurrying foot. 682 00:52:18,281 --> 00:52:22,591 But to fall right through the glass window of the British ambassador... 683 00:52:22,665 --> 00:52:24,836 - that is not so common. - No, indeed. 684 00:52:24,904 --> 00:52:29,061 And would you believe it? We have another accident in the next wing. 685 00:52:29,129 --> 00:52:33,286 An officer. He is cut to the forehead. Twelve stitches. 686 00:52:33,353 --> 00:52:36,484 - Quite a coincidence. - I go now to prepare your room. 687 00:52:36,553 --> 00:52:39,815 - You are staying here, don't you? - Yes, Nurse Erna, I do. 688 00:52:39,881 --> 00:52:43,809 If you wish to speak to him, please to shout. 689 00:53:03,689 --> 00:53:06,144 I have got you into an awful mess. 690 00:53:06,217 --> 00:53:08,486 Awful mess. 691 00:53:08,553 --> 00:53:11,041 You've got me into a mess too. 692 00:53:13,160 --> 00:53:15,015 I forgive you. 693 00:53:15,080 --> 00:53:17,284 Do you want me to write to your people in England? 694 00:53:17,352 --> 00:53:20,930 Parents? Brother? Sister? 695 00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:23,422 Fianc�e? 696 00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:26,855 Oh, you want your wallet? 697 00:53:33,448 --> 00:53:37,856 Oh, your aunt. What's the address? 698 00:53:47,912 --> 00:53:49,985 Your aunt seems to like short letters. 699 00:53:51,016 --> 00:53:53,318 What shall I tell her, the truth? 700 00:53:54,728 --> 00:53:57,281 Accident? Hunting accident? 701 00:53:58,696 --> 00:54:01,730 Do you know Oberleutnant Kretschmar-Schuldorff is here? 702 00:54:01,801 --> 00:54:04,736 He has a very bad cut on his forehead. 703 00:54:04,809 --> 00:54:06,663 Eight stitches? 704 00:54:06,729 --> 00:54:09,249 Oh, he has twelve stitches. 705 00:54:10,760 --> 00:54:13,826 Here is refreshment, Miss Hunter. Then you must depart for today. 706 00:54:13,896 --> 00:54:16,995 - When can he have visitors? - Wednesday is visitors' day, Miss Hunter. 707 00:54:17,065 --> 00:54:20,807 - Every Wednesday? - Every Wednesday from 3:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. 708 00:54:20,872 --> 00:54:23,589 At 5:00 p.m. a bell is rung for the end of visitors' hours. 709 00:54:29,993 --> 00:54:33,538 - Auf Wiedersehen. - Auf Wiedersehen. 710 00:54:56,840 --> 00:55:01,509 - After you, sir. - Bitte sehr. Darin. 711 00:55:01,576 --> 00:55:04,097 - What's he say, Aubrey? - I think he wants us to go first, sir. 712 00:55:04,168 --> 00:55:06,022 Can't do that, can we? 713 00:55:07,272 --> 00:55:10,850 You and I, you know, together. 714 00:55:10,920 --> 00:55:13,157 Bitte sehr. 715 00:55:21,512 --> 00:55:26,181 - Ach, wie nett. Was k�nnen sie bloss sein? - Keine Ahnung. 716 00:55:26,247 --> 00:55:29,924 - Engl�nder. - Danke, danke, Fr�ulein. 717 00:55:29,991 --> 00:55:34,248 I had thought that no one could smoke so much as a German officer. 718 00:55:34,313 --> 00:55:36,768 Now I see that a British officer can surpass him. 719 00:55:36,841 --> 00:55:40,321 And not only in smoking, my dear Nurse Erna. 720 00:55:40,392 --> 00:55:42,367 And in what else also? 721 00:55:42,441 --> 00:55:46,052 Eating, drinking, making love, growing mustaches. 722 00:55:46,120 --> 00:55:49,219 Miss Hunter, I'm going to grow a mustache. What is your opinion? 723 00:55:49,288 --> 00:55:53,478 - Excellent. Our dragoons gave you the idea. - You always find me out. 724 00:55:53,544 --> 00:55:56,806 I saw them cross the vestibule preceded by their mustaches. 725 00:55:56,872 --> 00:55:58,727 They nearly caused a diplomatic incident at the door. 726 00:55:58,792 --> 00:56:02,108 They collided with a party of Ulans coming from... 727 00:56:02,184 --> 00:56:06,308 My dear Miss Hunter, soldiers cause military incidents. 728 00:56:06,376 --> 00:56:08,231 They leave diplomacy to the diplomats. 729 00:56:08,296 --> 00:56:12,224 A German officer would shave off his mustache to show that he had a scar. 730 00:56:12,296 --> 00:56:15,263 That's just one of the points where we differ, my dear Nurse Erna. 731 00:56:15,336 --> 00:56:18,598 - Will you like me with a mustache, Miss Hunter? - How do you know you can grow one? 732 00:56:18,664 --> 00:56:23,453 Nurse Erna, Nurse Erna, is it permissible to insult the patients? 733 00:56:23,528 --> 00:56:29,027 - What view, if any, do you take of my great mustache plan? - You are the mustache type. 734 00:56:30,952 --> 00:56:32,708 Thank you. 735 00:56:35,367 --> 00:56:37,822 She's taken away... Always tidying up. 736 00:56:37,895 --> 00:56:41,637 Nurse Erna, where are my... Thank you. 737 00:56:41,704 --> 00:56:45,413 - Is the British Army enjoying itself in Berlin? - On the whole, yes. 738 00:56:45,479 --> 00:56:48,960 They had lunch yesterday in the regimental mess of the First Dragoon Guards. 739 00:56:49,032 --> 00:56:51,453 The kaiser spoke and the Prince of Wales spoke. 740 00:56:51,528 --> 00:56:53,949 - Spoke about what? - Nobody could remember. 741 00:56:54,023 --> 00:56:56,871 - When do they return to London? - In a week. Would you care to accompany them? 742 00:56:56,936 --> 00:56:59,456 - Well, they'll have a special train, surely. - We could always try. 743 00:56:59,527 --> 00:57:02,179 Or you could stay another five weeks and come back with me. 744 00:57:02,248 --> 00:57:04,135 - Great care must be taken of me. - No doubt. 745 00:57:04,200 --> 00:57:06,372 No answer at all. Will you or won't you? 746 00:57:06,440 --> 00:57:08,295 If you stay on, you may get anotherjob. 747 00:57:08,360 --> 00:57:10,815 We'll see. Are we going to play cards? 748 00:57:10,888 --> 00:57:14,183 I've asked Nurse Erna to fix up a bridge four. We don't want to get bored. 749 00:57:14,248 --> 00:57:18,503 The head nurse is finding a suitable couple for you to play with after dinner. 750 00:57:18,568 --> 00:57:21,829 But you must not stay up after 10:30 at the very latest. 751 00:57:21,896 --> 00:57:23,871 - I promise you, Nurse Erna. - You do play? 752 00:57:23,944 --> 00:57:27,719 - Only whist. - It's simple. Let's have a trial game of double dummy. 753 00:57:27,784 --> 00:57:29,726 I will bring a lamp. 754 00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:33,182 You're a good pupil, Edith. That's 32,000 pounds I owe you. 755 00:57:33,256 --> 00:57:35,395 - I'll toss you double or quits. - Agreed. 756 00:57:36,711 --> 00:57:39,679 - All right, what is it? - Heads... No, I mean tails. 757 00:57:39,752 --> 00:57:43,101 Heads it is. We're quits. 758 00:57:43,175 --> 00:57:48,510 Here are cigarettes. But please do remember that smoking is bad for you. 759 00:57:48,583 --> 00:57:51,845 - Ich liebe Sie, Nurse Erna. - You are an angel, Nurse Erna. 760 00:57:51,911 --> 00:57:55,108 - There are our guests. Would you let them in? 761 00:58:16,263 --> 00:58:19,230 Frau von Kalteneck, Oberleutnant Kretschmar-Schuldorff. 762 00:58:19,303 --> 00:58:21,158 Miss Hunter, Mr. Candy. 763 00:58:21,223 --> 00:58:23,078 Ich hoffe Sie werden sich gut unterhalten. 764 00:58:23,143 --> 00:58:24,998 - How do you do? - How do you do? 765 00:58:25,063 --> 00:58:27,234 - Kretschmar-Schuldorff. - Yes, I know. 766 00:58:27,303 --> 00:58:30,783 Danke sehr. 767 00:58:30,855 --> 00:58:33,244 I'm very glad you've come. 768 00:58:34,696 --> 00:58:36,998 I promised Theo to make a little speech. 769 00:58:37,064 --> 00:58:40,097 - He would like to have made it himself. - Very much. 770 00:58:40,167 --> 00:58:42,818 Theo knows only two English expressions: 771 00:58:42,888 --> 00:58:45,255 "very much" and "not very much." 772 00:58:45,319 --> 00:58:47,905 - Stimmt's, Theo? - Very much. 773 00:58:47,976 --> 00:58:51,042 - He would like to have come before. - Very much. 774 00:58:51,112 --> 00:58:55,138 Only he was afraid nobody could translate to you what he says. 775 00:58:55,208 --> 00:58:57,183 Miss Hunter speaks German. 776 00:58:57,255 --> 00:58:59,110 She sprechen German. 777 00:58:59,175 --> 00:59:01,696 Nicht sehr gut. 778 00:59:01,768 --> 00:59:05,215 Ich finde Sie reden ausgezeichnet. 779 00:59:05,287 --> 00:59:08,932 Theo has heard that you were took part in the South Africa campaign. 780 00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:11,334 - Ja, ja. - And that you have won a very famous medal. 781 00:59:11,399 --> 00:59:15,425 - Ja, Victoria... Uh. Ja, cross. - Victoria Cross. 782 00:59:15,495 --> 00:59:20,230 He envies you because a German officer knows about war only from the newspapers. 783 00:59:20,295 --> 00:59:23,295 - And mostly wrongly. - And mostly wrongly. 784 00:59:23,367 --> 00:59:26,563 - Let's have a drink, shall we? Sherry? - I would love a glass of sherry. 785 00:59:26,631 --> 00:59:30,854 - Would you like sherry? - Not very much. 786 00:59:30,919 --> 00:59:33,886 Port? 787 00:59:33,959 --> 00:59:36,381 She and I, we drink "Kirchwater." 788 00:59:36,455 --> 00:59:38,975 Kirchwasser. 789 00:59:39,047 --> 00:59:41,218 Yes, that's right. "Kirchwater." Do you like it? 790 00:59:41,287 --> 00:59:43,327 Very, very much. 791 00:59:43,399 --> 00:59:45,788 Let me help you. 792 00:59:53,447 --> 00:59:55,618 Do you know Berlin, Mr. Candy? 793 00:59:55,687 --> 00:59:59,036 The Hotel Kaiserhof, the British Embassy, the Caf� H�henzollern, 794 00:59:59,111 --> 01:00:03,845 and the gymnasium of the barracks of the Second Ulans. 795 01:00:03,911 --> 01:00:06,726 I hope we shall be able to show you more than that. 796 01:00:06,792 --> 01:00:09,213 - Eine Zigarette, Oberleutnant? - Furchtbar nett. Danke sehr. 797 01:00:09,288 --> 01:00:13,827 - Do you like the opera? Concerts? - I prefer riding, hunting or polo. 798 01:00:13,895 --> 01:00:16,830 I adore hunting, and I love sports. 799 01:00:18,407 --> 01:00:20,262 Interessieren Sie sich f�r Sport, gn�dige Fr�ulein? 800 01:00:20,327 --> 01:00:22,302 Nein, ich habe keinerlei Talent f�r Sports. 801 01:00:22,376 --> 01:00:24,231 Cut for partners. 802 01:00:27,783 --> 01:00:29,638 - You and I. - Sie und ich. 803 01:00:32,167 --> 01:00:35,135 - What's he say? - I hope we shall be able to play every night. 804 01:00:35,208 --> 01:00:38,274 - Oh, yes. Rather. - Very much. 805 01:00:58,054 --> 01:01:01,884 - I say. - Oh, Babyface, I want you a moment. 806 01:01:01,959 --> 01:01:05,025 - What is it, those nursing home accounts? - Yeah. 807 01:01:05,095 --> 01:01:07,550 Would you kindly explain what the deuce this item means? 808 01:01:07,623 --> 01:01:10,340 - Forty packs of playing cards? - Oh, that. 809 01:01:10,407 --> 01:01:12,262 It's enough for the casino at Monte Carlo. 810 01:01:12,327 --> 01:01:14,847 I spoke to Miss Hunter about it. But she says the evenings were so long... 811 01:01:14,919 --> 01:01:18,781 - there's nothing much to do at Stolpchensee in the winter. - Very well. 812 01:01:18,855 --> 01:01:21,473 - Don't you ever do any work? - What? 813 01:01:21,542 --> 01:01:24,858 Oh, these. First time this year. I draw it mild. 814 01:01:24,934 --> 01:01:29,058 Well, don't catch a cold. These nursing homes are an expensive business. 815 01:01:29,126 --> 01:01:31,330 - Is Miss Hunter returning to England? - As far as I know. 816 01:01:31,398 --> 01:01:34,976 - Not at our expense, I hope. - Good heavens, no. She was going anyway. 817 01:01:35,046 --> 01:01:37,949 - So was Candy, for that matter. - I know. 818 01:01:38,023 --> 01:01:40,194 He had a return ticket. It's expired. 819 01:01:40,263 --> 01:01:42,652 - Very well. Buy him a new one. - Righto. 820 01:01:42,727 --> 01:01:44,582 And get Candy to give you that old ticket of his. 821 01:01:44,647 --> 01:01:46,502 We'll claim a refund at Cooks. 822 01:01:46,567 --> 01:01:50,593 Those things belong to Theo. Put them with the alarm clock. 823 01:01:52,135 --> 01:01:54,590 - How's your own packing going? - Not fast. 824 01:01:54,663 --> 01:01:56,518 Well, you'd better hurry up then. 825 01:01:56,583 --> 01:01:58,623 - I'll be all right. - Don't you be so sure. 826 01:01:58,695 --> 01:02:01,248 We've only got half an hour if we're going to call at the embassy first. 827 01:02:01,319 --> 01:02:04,450 - Stop moving about. - I'm not moving about! 828 01:02:04,519 --> 01:02:06,374 Keep your hair on. 829 01:02:06,439 --> 01:02:09,156 I say, old girl, what's up? 830 01:02:09,223 --> 01:02:11,427 Edith, I say. What's the matter? 831 01:02:11,495 --> 01:02:13,862 It's not because I didn't call for you yesterday, is it? 832 01:02:13,927 --> 01:02:16,774 - You know Frau von Kalteneck left for the south last night. - Did she? 833 01:02:16,839 --> 01:02:18,977 - You knew she was going? - I'd forgotten. 834 01:02:19,046 --> 01:02:21,217 It's not my fault if you don't like horses, is it? 835 01:02:21,287 --> 01:02:24,134 We went to see her riding stables. She's got some fine beasts. 836 01:02:24,198 --> 01:02:28,093 They're a bit fat though. I say, old girl. Do stop crying. 837 01:02:28,167 --> 01:02:31,462 - Supposing somebody came in. - Nobody will come in. 838 01:02:31,526 --> 01:02:33,566 Look. 839 01:02:35,846 --> 01:02:38,367 I promise to take you out the first night we get back to London. 840 01:02:38,439 --> 01:02:40,294 Her Majesty's Theater, The Last of the Dandies. 841 01:02:40,359 --> 01:02:42,780 They say it's an awfully good show. 842 01:02:42,854 --> 01:02:44,894 - But the papers say... - What paper? What do you mean? 843 01:02:44,966 --> 01:02:46,821 Is that's what's making you cry? 844 01:02:46,886 --> 01:02:52,287 The papers say there was a play at Her Majesty's called Ulysses. 845 01:02:54,438 --> 01:02:58,497 Oberleutnant Kretschmar-Schuldorff returns your books, Mr. Candy. 846 01:02:58,566 --> 01:03:01,249 He is on his way to see you. 847 01:03:01,318 --> 01:03:04,580 - Oh, I must hurry. - You'd better. I'll meet you in the hall. 848 01:03:08,263 --> 01:03:11,110 What am I to do with them? I don't read German. Miss Hunter got them for me. 849 01:03:11,175 --> 01:03:15,332 - You can present them to our library. - Clever, Nurse Erna. 850 01:03:15,399 --> 01:03:18,846 But I must write my name in them so Clive Candy's name... 851 01:03:18,918 --> 01:03:22,235 - will live forever in a corner at Stolpchensee. 852 01:03:25,127 --> 01:03:29,218 - May I come in? - Come in, me old horse, me old steeplechaser. 853 01:03:31,654 --> 01:03:34,469 - Wo ist Edith? - Packing. 854 01:03:34,534 --> 01:03:37,982 Wieso packing? Wieso packing? 855 01:03:38,055 --> 01:03:41,088 Well, of course. Und Sie? How much longer Sie? 856 01:03:41,158 --> 01:03:45,501 - Oh, ich, eine week, oder... - Two weeks? 857 01:03:45,575 --> 01:03:48,574 Two week. Ja. 858 01:03:48,646 --> 01:03:50,948 Uh. 859 01:03:51,014 --> 01:03:54,363 - Clive, Edith come here translate. - I can translate. 860 01:03:54,438 --> 01:03:58,628 - Don't interrupt Edith. She'll never be ready. 861 01:03:58,694 --> 01:04:01,345 Shall I fetch Miss Hunter? 862 01:04:01,414 --> 01:04:04,283 Ich mussen call at embassy, old man. 863 01:04:04,358 --> 01:04:07,424 Get my ticket nach London. 864 01:04:07,494 --> 01:04:11,323 Ja. Bitte, wollen Sie das gn�dige Fr�ulein hier holen? 865 01:04:12,294 --> 01:04:14,498 - Drink? - Nein, uh, 866 01:04:14,566 --> 01:04:16,421 - not now. - All right. 867 01:04:17,670 --> 01:04:20,769 What the blazes is up with everybody today? 868 01:04:21,958 --> 01:04:27,173 Clive, you und I, friends, yes? 869 01:04:27,238 --> 01:04:29,092 Or no? 870 01:04:29,157 --> 01:04:32,256 Well, of course we're friends. 871 01:04:33,253 --> 01:04:35,806 We must... 872 01:04:35,877 --> 01:04:37,733 duel again. 873 01:04:37,798 --> 01:04:41,595 Where's your dictionary, old man? You must've got two pages stuck together. 874 01:04:43,046 --> 01:04:46,429 I love... 875 01:04:46,502 --> 01:04:48,772 your... 876 01:04:48,839 --> 01:04:51,260 Jetzt habe ich das Wort vergessen. 877 01:04:52,710 --> 01:04:55,645 Your Miss Hunter. 878 01:04:56,710 --> 01:04:58,620 Say that again. 879 01:05:00,134 --> 01:05:04,891 I love your Miss Hunter. 880 01:05:11,174 --> 01:05:15,681 - You're cuckoo. - Nein. Ich nein cuckoo. 881 01:05:15,750 --> 01:05:17,605 You cuckoo... 882 01:05:17,670 --> 01:05:21,761 because Miss Hunter... loves me. 883 01:05:25,381 --> 01:05:27,486 Congratulations. When did it happen? 884 01:05:27,557 --> 01:05:30,492 - Why don't I know about it? - No duel? 885 01:05:30,566 --> 01:05:34,494 Duel? I? Ich fight anyone who tried to stop it. 886 01:05:34,566 --> 01:05:37,184 - Now will you have a drink? - Double drink. 887 01:05:37,254 --> 01:05:40,353 You know, old boy, Edith was never my fianc�e. 888 01:05:40,422 --> 01:05:43,902 - Ach, fianc�e. Das ist das Wort das ich nicht finden konnte. - No, not my fianc�e. 889 01:05:43,974 --> 01:05:47,290 Lovely girl. Sweet girl, but not my fianc�e. 890 01:05:47,365 --> 01:05:49,602 - Cheers. - Bottom up. 891 01:05:52,677 --> 01:05:54,532 - Herein. - Come in. 892 01:05:54,597 --> 01:05:58,307 Ah, Nurse Erna. Come and have a drink. 893 01:05:58,374 --> 01:06:00,862 - Where's the fianc�e? - Dass sie will nicht kommen? 894 01:06:00,934 --> 01:06:03,552 She won't come down? Then we go up. Come on Theo. 895 01:06:03,622 --> 01:06:05,694 Moment, moment. Die Flaschen. 896 01:06:05,765 --> 01:06:08,099 Und the glasses. 897 01:06:23,014 --> 01:06:25,535 Edith. 898 01:06:27,878 --> 01:06:31,807 - Come in. - Edith, my child. I feel like a proud father. 899 01:06:31,878 --> 01:06:35,260 - Do you, Clive? Why? - I have to give you away, don't I? 900 01:06:35,334 --> 01:06:38,367 - Who told you? - I told. - In fluent double German. 901 01:06:38,438 --> 01:06:41,635 Das einzige Wort das ich nicht finden konnte war fi... 902 01:06:41,702 --> 01:06:43,360 - Fianc�e. - Fianc�e, ja. 903 01:06:43,430 --> 01:06:45,219 A toast. 904 01:06:45,286 --> 01:06:48,547 Here's to the happiness of my fianc�e, who was never my fianc�e. 905 01:06:48,613 --> 01:06:51,996 And here's to the man who tried to kill me before he was introduced to me. 906 01:06:52,070 --> 01:06:53,925 - Prost. - Prost. 907 01:06:55,302 --> 01:06:59,492 - May I kiss the bride? - Why ask? I did not ask. 908 01:07:02,213 --> 01:07:04,669 - Good-bye, Clive. - Good-bye, Edith, old girl. 909 01:07:11,686 --> 01:07:13,987 I hope we'll meet again sometime. 910 01:07:14,054 --> 01:07:15,744 I'm sure we shall. 911 01:07:20,165 --> 01:07:22,140 Now, listen to me, you son of a gun. 912 01:07:22,213 --> 01:07:24,384 You won't understand a word of what I'm going to say, but... 913 01:07:24,453 --> 01:07:29,920 I came to Berlin to find a rat, and I found two of the grandest people I've ever met. 914 01:07:31,494 --> 01:07:35,520 I leave to you, you Prussian stiffneck, you, this girl in trust. 915 01:07:35,589 --> 01:07:39,932 And if you don't take care ofher, I'll raise the whole of England against you. 916 01:07:40,006 --> 01:07:42,526 The navy will steam up your stinking Stolpchensee, 917 01:07:42,598 --> 01:07:46,592 and I'll lead the army down Unter den Linden, and we'll... 918 01:07:48,390 --> 01:07:50,244 Clive, 919 01:07:50,310 --> 01:07:54,620 my English is not very much, 920 01:07:54,693 --> 01:07:57,890 but my friendship for you... 921 01:07:59,206 --> 01:08:01,409 is very much. 922 01:08:06,406 --> 01:08:09,373 - I hope it's taught you a damn good lesson, Candy. - Yes, sir. 923 01:08:09,445 --> 01:08:12,860 The trouble with you young fellows is you always want to go changing everything. 924 01:08:12,933 --> 01:08:14,788 And what's the result? 925 01:08:14,853 --> 01:08:18,148 You spend all your leave in a nursing home full of foreigners. 926 01:08:18,214 --> 01:08:20,930 You've cost the treasury a lot of money. 927 01:08:20,998 --> 01:08:23,550 And you make the foreign office very cross. 928 01:08:23,621 --> 01:08:25,661 Yes, very cross. 929 01:08:25,733 --> 01:08:28,668 And what did you get for it? Your beauty spoiled. 930 01:08:28,741 --> 01:08:30,595 You weren't any fashion plate before. 931 01:08:30,661 --> 01:08:33,977 - I'd be surprised if any woman would look twice at you now. - So would I, sir. 932 01:08:34,053 --> 01:08:37,314 When you were here in January, I told you very clearly it was not your concern. 933 01:08:37,381 --> 01:08:40,544 - It was an embassy job. - Well, sir, I thought I'd take a chance. 934 01:08:40,613 --> 01:08:43,712 A chance? A chance? 935 01:08:43,781 --> 01:08:46,629 You can't afford to take a chance with your career, my boy. 936 01:08:46,693 --> 01:08:50,467 You are in the army as a career, aren't you? Not for five minutes? 937 01:08:50,533 --> 01:08:54,046 You were putting up a pretty good show. Then you go barging in on this nonsense... 938 01:08:54,117 --> 01:08:56,572 and you come very near to getting yourself kicked out. 939 01:08:56,645 --> 01:08:59,547 - You don't want to get kicked out, do you? - No, sir. 940 01:08:59,620 --> 01:09:01,475 Well, let me tell you one thing. 941 01:09:01,540 --> 01:09:05,086 Don't bother your head with things you don't understand and you won't go far wrong. 942 01:09:05,157 --> 01:09:07,012 Never go off at half cock. 943 01:09:07,077 --> 01:09:11,268 Keep cool, keep your mouth shut, and avoid politicians like the plague. 944 01:09:11,334 --> 01:09:14,717 - That's the way to get on in the army. - Thank you, sir. 945 01:09:21,926 --> 01:09:23,780 Care to dine at my club tonight? 946 01:09:23,846 --> 01:09:27,194 - Sorry, sir. I'm taking someone to the theater. - Pretty? 947 01:09:27,269 --> 01:09:29,691 I haven't met her yet, sir. 948 01:09:29,766 --> 01:09:32,483 You're still a bit cracked, my boy. 949 01:09:32,550 --> 01:09:34,622 Well, I hope you improve as you get older. 950 01:09:37,157 --> 01:09:39,099 And cheer up, my boy. 951 01:09:41,669 --> 01:09:43,524 Yes, sir. 952 01:09:55,973 --> 01:09:59,770 Father, whose oath in hollow hell is heard, 953 01:09:59,844 --> 01:10:01,699 whose act is lightning after thunder word, 954 01:10:01,764 --> 01:10:04,830 a boon, a boon that I compassion find... 955 01:10:04,900 --> 01:10:07,748 for one, the most unhappy of mankind. 956 01:10:07,813 --> 01:10:13,050 - How is he named? - Ulysses, he who planned to take the towered city ofTroy land. 957 01:10:13,125 --> 01:10:16,802 - What wouldst thou? - This, that he at the last may view... 958 01:10:16,868 --> 01:10:21,407 - the smoke of his own fire upcurling blue. - Where abides the man? 959 01:10:21,476 --> 01:10:25,306 Calypso this long while detains him in her languorous ocean isle. 960 01:10:25,381 --> 01:10:30,017 Father of gods, this man hath stricken blind my dear son Polyphemus. 961 01:10:30,085 --> 01:10:34,591 With wind, with roaring waves, I may let him be hurled from sea to sea... 962 01:10:34,660 --> 01:10:37,377 - and dashed about the world. - Peace, children. 963 01:10:37,444 --> 01:10:39,932 From your shrew reviling cease. 964 01:10:40,005 --> 01:10:44,032 Hermes, command Calypso to release Ulysses... 965 01:10:44,101 --> 01:10:46,490 and to waft him over seas. 966 01:10:46,565 --> 01:10:50,275 Ulysses shall return. 967 01:10:50,341 --> 01:10:52,730 Cloud gatherer, stay. 968 01:10:52,805 --> 01:10:56,001 Yet canst thou work in mischief on the way. 969 01:10:56,069 --> 01:10:58,720 Ere he touch at last his native shore, 970 01:10:58,789 --> 01:11:01,724 Ulysses must abide one labor more. 971 01:11:03,109 --> 01:11:07,386 - Thank you. Where's the bar? - Darling, do control yourself. 972 01:11:12,325 --> 01:11:16,449 - I say, there's old Suggie. - Really, darling? Where? 973 01:11:16,517 --> 01:11:19,005 Suggie. 974 01:11:19,076 --> 01:11:22,011 Suggie. 975 01:11:22,085 --> 01:11:24,932 - Suggie! - Thou, Father, in thy youth... 976 01:11:24,997 --> 01:11:28,095 didst feel at least for mortal women rue. 977 01:11:28,164 --> 01:11:30,139 To Leda, Leto, Danae, we are told... 978 01:11:30,213 --> 01:11:32,634 didst surely on occasion tender... 979 01:11:32,708 --> 01:11:35,937 - Who's the girl with Clive, darling? Do you know her? 980 01:11:36,004 --> 01:11:39,168 - As a matter of fact I do. - Well, darling, who is she? 981 01:11:39,236 --> 01:11:42,236 I believe he met her sister in Berlin. 982 01:11:42,308 --> 01:11:44,348 Darling, why all this mystery? 983 01:11:44,421 --> 01:11:48,250 - Who is she? - My niece's governess. A Miss Hunter. 984 01:11:48,324 --> 01:11:52,666 Wonders will never cease. Sybil Gilpin out without her mother, and with Hoppy too. 985 01:11:52,898 --> 01:11:56,510 - Well, didn't you know, Mr. Candy? They're married. - Hoppy and Sybil? 986 01:11:56,578 --> 01:11:59,840 Over a month ago. The family were quite taken by surprise. 987 01:11:59,906 --> 01:12:01,815 It was very romantic and sudden. 988 01:12:01,890 --> 01:12:03,745 And they met here in this very theater. 989 01:12:03,810 --> 01:12:07,388 I know. I seem to be a born matchmaker. 990 01:12:08,802 --> 01:12:11,932 - Hello, Pebble. - Master Clive. 991 01:12:17,891 --> 01:12:20,225 - Your aunt is asleep. - All right, don't disturb her. 992 01:12:20,291 --> 01:12:22,560 I didn't feel like going to the club this evening. 993 01:12:22,627 --> 01:12:25,311 - You're not sick, Master Clive? - No. 994 01:12:25,379 --> 01:12:30,016 I say, Pebble. How did you feel when you buried Mr. Pebble? 995 01:12:30,083 --> 01:12:32,832 It wasn't so bad at the time, Master Clive. There was so much to do. 996 01:12:32,899 --> 01:12:35,801 - It was after that it got bad, if you understand me. - Hmm. 997 01:12:35,874 --> 01:12:40,097 - I hope you haven't come from a burying, sir. - No, from the theater. 998 01:12:40,163 --> 01:12:42,018 But it was the same thing in a way. 999 01:12:42,083 --> 01:12:45,793 - Was it a sad play? - On the contrary, it was a musical play. 1000 01:12:45,859 --> 01:12:48,161 - Is the bed in the den made up? - No, sir. 1001 01:12:48,227 --> 01:12:50,780 But it won't take a minute if you don't mind sleeping in blankets. 1002 01:12:50,851 --> 01:12:53,338 There isn't time to air the sheets. Lady Margaret has made some changes... 1003 01:12:53,410 --> 01:12:56,923 Pebble. What is going on down there? 1004 01:12:56,994 --> 01:13:01,533 - Am I staying? - I suppose so, since there's no man here to throw you out. 1005 01:13:01,602 --> 01:13:05,399 - I say, who put up my South African heads? - I don't know. 1006 01:13:05,475 --> 01:13:09,152 - They don't look half so bad, do they? - No. 1007 01:13:09,218 --> 01:13:12,065 Pebble, stop fussing like an old hen and go to your bed. 1008 01:13:12,130 --> 01:13:14,072 Yes, milady. 1009 01:13:15,586 --> 01:13:18,204 - Good night, Master Clive. - Good night. 1010 01:13:18,274 --> 01:13:22,976 - Now, even money that some catastrophe has brought you here. - You're on. 1011 01:13:23,042 --> 01:13:24,897 - Debts? A woman? - No. 1012 01:13:24,962 --> 01:13:28,257 - Not exactly. - Explain. 1013 01:13:28,322 --> 01:13:30,231 - I went to the theater tonight. - Alone? 1014 01:13:30,306 --> 01:13:34,103 - With a girl. - And why, pray, is she "not exactly"? 1015 01:13:34,178 --> 01:13:36,032 Oh, it was nothing to do with her. 1016 01:13:36,097 --> 01:13:39,131 Hmm, perhaps. See anyone there you knew? 1017 01:13:39,202 --> 01:13:43,163 - I met Hoppy and Sybil Gilpin. They're married. - Why not? A very suitable match. 1018 01:13:43,234 --> 01:13:46,333 He has money and she has land and neither of them has any brains. 1019 01:13:46,403 --> 01:13:49,153 - You surely weren't in love with her? - With Sybil? Oh, no. 1020 01:13:49,219 --> 01:13:53,114 I'm glad of that. She has the muscles of a prize fighter. She'll hit Hoppy one day. 1021 01:13:53,186 --> 01:13:55,903 - Hoppy could give her a couple of stone. - She'll soon make that up. 1022 01:13:55,970 --> 01:13:57,825 I assure you. 1023 01:14:00,066 --> 01:14:02,783 Who is this girl you took to the theater tonight? 1024 01:14:02,851 --> 01:14:05,785 A Miss Hunter. I met her sister in Berlin. 1025 01:14:05,858 --> 01:14:09,207 - Is she nice? - Very. I mean the sister. 1026 01:14:09,283 --> 01:14:13,057 - Which sister? - The one that stayed in Berlin. 1027 01:14:13,123 --> 01:14:17,400 Then the one in London is not so nice, I take it. 1028 01:14:17,475 --> 01:14:19,482 - No. - I see. 1029 01:14:19,554 --> 01:14:22,816 Now, listen, Clive. 1030 01:14:22,883 --> 01:14:27,705 I have 18 rooms here, a bone-idle staff eating their heads off... 1031 01:14:27,779 --> 01:14:29,753 and when you come home from South Africa, 1032 01:14:29,826 --> 01:14:32,892 - you go straight to your club. - I know. It's awful. 1033 01:14:34,658 --> 01:14:39,131 I want you to remember that whatever you do and wherever you are, 1034 01:14:39,202 --> 01:14:41,275 you've always got a home here. 1035 01:14:41,346 --> 01:14:46,103 And whatever you shoot, there's always room for them here too. 1036 01:14:46,177 --> 01:14:48,349 Look how much room there is. 1037 01:16:29,794 --> 01:16:31,736 This is Dead Cow Crossroads, sir. 1038 01:16:33,345 --> 01:16:36,760 The question is whether that's the church with the double tower... 1039 01:16:36,833 --> 01:16:39,516 or the Estaminet du Pont. 1040 01:16:42,945 --> 01:16:46,327 Damn it, Murdoch. You're supposed to know the road. 1041 01:16:46,401 --> 01:16:49,053 I know it at night, sir. In the daytime it looks different. 1042 01:16:51,331 --> 01:16:54,494 Eh? You got a scent? 1043 01:16:54,562 --> 01:16:56,668 Yes, sir. Yon's our road, sir. 1044 01:16:56,738 --> 01:16:59,007 I can smell the two horses those sappers didn't bury. 1045 01:16:59,074 --> 01:17:01,495 - Hark away, then. - Hark away, sir. 1046 01:17:11,490 --> 01:17:15,418 Glad to see you, sir. I've got another umbrella for you. 1047 01:17:15,489 --> 01:17:17,344 You've a marvellous eye for loot, van Zijl. 1048 01:17:17,409 --> 01:17:20,027 Learned it from the English in the Boer War, sir. 1049 01:17:20,098 --> 01:17:23,960 - Where did you get them? - OffJerries, 11 of them, brought in an hour ago. 1050 01:17:24,033 --> 01:17:25,943 Lord knows where they stole them. 1051 01:17:26,018 --> 01:17:28,439 They were using them for camouflage against aircraft. 1052 01:17:41,409 --> 01:17:44,224 Good evening. Evening, sir. 1053 01:17:45,601 --> 01:17:49,343 Can we get through to the R.T.O. at Dupuis-sur-something? 1054 01:17:49,409 --> 01:17:52,060 Dupuis-sur-Croix? The Yanks are down there. 1055 01:17:52,129 --> 01:17:55,839 - How about it, Paddy? - I'm afraid the line's down between us and Mile 14, sir. 1056 01:17:55,905 --> 01:17:57,879 - I can send a runner. - What message, sir? 1057 01:17:57,953 --> 01:17:59,928 Tell him to hold a place on the leave train. 1058 01:18:00,001 --> 01:18:03,296 - When can I leave here? - Not before dark. 1059 01:18:03,361 --> 01:18:06,361 They're plastering the road between one-seven and one-nine with shrapnel. 1060 01:18:06,433 --> 01:18:10,110 - Right. Will someone look after Murdoch? - Nobby. 1061 01:18:10,177 --> 01:18:12,032 - Very good, sir. - Mind the leak, sir. 1062 01:18:12,097 --> 01:18:14,814 - Paddy, get that runner away. - Yes, sir. 1063 01:18:14,881 --> 01:18:18,427 If any of you have any important letters or messages home, I'll take them. 1064 01:18:18,497 --> 01:18:20,537 - Thank you, sir. - Paddy. 1065 01:18:20,610 --> 01:18:22,552 Just now I'll see the prisoners again. 1066 01:18:22,626 --> 01:18:24,481 All right, sir. 1067 01:18:24,546 --> 01:18:28,801 - What are these prisoners? - Ulans, Second Regiment. 1068 01:18:28,866 --> 01:18:32,182 - That's all I've got out of them so far. - I'd like to question them. 1069 01:18:32,258 --> 01:18:34,592 Certainly, sir. Paddy. 1070 01:18:34,657 --> 01:18:37,439 - Second Regiment of Ulans. - Sir? 1071 01:18:37,505 --> 01:18:40,375 Bring in the prisoners and tell the orderly to light the lamp. 1072 01:18:40,450 --> 01:18:43,865 - Any officer with them? - Not so lucky. 1073 01:18:43,938 --> 01:18:46,687 - Where did you nab them? - Floating down the river early this morning. 1074 01:18:46,753 --> 01:18:49,852 I had a boom across that netted them like salmon. 1075 01:18:49,921 --> 01:18:52,768 They had a hundred pounds of dynamite with them. 1076 01:18:52,834 --> 01:18:56,630 My guess is they were after the new pontoon bridge below St. Mangy. 1077 01:18:56,705 --> 01:18:58,778 How the devil did they get to know about that? 1078 01:18:58,850 --> 01:19:01,752 They took one of our patrols prisoner day before yesterday. 1079 01:19:01,825 --> 01:19:04,127 Are you suggesting that our fellows talked? 1080 01:19:05,697 --> 01:19:08,217 The Germans know how to make them talk. 1081 01:19:08,289 --> 01:19:10,264 Oh. 1082 01:19:11,553 --> 01:19:14,236 Well, if they are, they're cracking, my dear chap. 1083 01:19:14,305 --> 01:19:17,055 It's a sure sign. Nobody starts to fight foul... 1084 01:19:17,121 --> 01:19:20,317 till he sees he can't win any other way. 1085 01:19:20,384 --> 01:19:23,897 I quite believe Hindenburg, who I heard said the other day, 1086 01:19:23,969 --> 01:19:28,061 that until now, Germany has used her arms with honor. 1087 01:19:28,129 --> 01:19:31,424 - I admit he said nothing about her legs. 1088 01:19:37,824 --> 01:19:40,061 Halt! Left turn! 1089 01:19:45,025 --> 01:19:48,472 - Get that off to brigade in the morning. - Certainly, sir. 1090 01:19:48,544 --> 01:19:52,637 Do any of you know Oberst Kretschmar-Schuldorff? 1091 01:19:52,706 --> 01:19:57,113 Don't play dead. He was an oberst in your regiment the last time I heard ofhim. 1092 01:19:57,185 --> 01:20:00,219 Oberst Kretschmar-Schuldorff, Second Regiment of Ulans. 1093 01:20:03,426 --> 01:20:06,295 Which of you can speak English? 1094 01:20:06,369 --> 01:20:10,646 Hey. You spoke English an hour ago. Answer the brigadier. 1095 01:20:11,745 --> 01:20:14,047 I do speak. 1096 01:20:14,113 --> 01:20:17,277 Ah. Now listen to me. 1097 01:20:17,345 --> 01:20:21,022 We don't use the same methods that I hear you use on your prisoners, 1098 01:20:21,089 --> 01:20:25,115 but I assure you we have means to find out what we want. 1099 01:20:25,185 --> 01:20:28,120 What was this explosive found on you intended for? 1100 01:20:28,192 --> 01:20:30,713 - I don't know. - Don't lie. 1101 01:20:30,785 --> 01:20:32,541 I do not know. 1102 01:20:32,609 --> 01:20:34,714 You took three of our men prisoners two days ago. 1103 01:20:34,785 --> 01:20:38,397 - No. - Then how did you know about the bridge? 1104 01:20:38,465 --> 01:20:42,556 - I know nothing about a bridge. - Then why were you carrying dynamite? 1105 01:20:42,625 --> 01:20:44,959 Quite safe to go now, sir. Your car's waiting. 1106 01:20:45,024 --> 01:20:47,839 - Won't you stay for dinner, sir? - What have you got? 1107 01:20:47,904 --> 01:20:49,759 Macaroni. We found it in the cellar. 1108 01:20:49,824 --> 01:20:52,312 - Beastly stuff. - And the usual corned horse. 1109 01:20:52,385 --> 01:20:56,247 No. I think I'll take my chance at Dupuis. 1110 01:20:56,321 --> 01:20:59,998 Pity I've got to go. I'd have liked another shot at those prisoners. 1111 01:21:00,065 --> 01:21:02,399 Oh, I think I've got the idea, sir. 1112 01:21:02,464 --> 01:21:05,595 - I'll tackle them for you. - Right. 1113 01:21:05,665 --> 01:21:08,053 - Make your report to brigade. - Very good, sir. 1114 01:21:16,993 --> 01:21:21,849 Now, listen. I am in command here now... 1115 01:21:21,921 --> 01:21:25,369 and I know how to deal with you scum. 1116 01:21:25,441 --> 01:21:29,118 I'm not a simple English gentleman. 1117 01:21:29,185 --> 01:21:31,257 I'm a simple South African. 1118 01:21:32,705 --> 01:21:36,218 And I can assure you that I have means to get what I want. 1119 01:21:36,289 --> 01:21:38,526 What was the dynamite for? 1120 01:21:38,593 --> 01:21:41,276 How many of you got away? 1121 01:21:41,345 --> 01:21:43,679 What happened to the three men you took prisoners? 1122 01:21:47,424 --> 01:21:49,497 Thirty seconds to reply. 1123 01:22:10,145 --> 01:22:12,479 - 8:35. - 8:35. 1124 01:22:12,544 --> 01:22:14,617 Hello! Hello! Damn it! 1125 01:22:15,776 --> 01:22:18,460 Lousy line's dead, sir. I can't get Beechwood. 1126 01:22:18,529 --> 01:22:20,765 - Keep trying. Yeah, and what do you want? - Right. 1127 01:22:20,832 --> 01:22:22,687 I'm Brigadier General Candy. 1128 01:22:22,752 --> 01:22:25,599 I'm sorry, sir. Sit down, take a load off your feet. 1129 01:22:25,664 --> 01:22:27,518 I couldn't see your brass for the mud. 1130 01:22:27,584 --> 01:22:30,715 - What can I do for you? - You're the railway transport officer? 1131 01:22:30,784 --> 01:22:32,639 I run trains, if that's what you mean. 1132 01:22:32,704 --> 01:22:35,257 - That is, when there are any trains to run. - Did you get my chit? 1133 01:22:35,328 --> 01:22:38,394 Jake, will you, for the Lord's sake, get me through to Beechwood? 1134 01:22:38,464 --> 01:22:40,952 The colonel's having kittens. Try the other circuit. 1135 01:22:41,024 --> 01:22:43,162 - You said chit? - Yes. 1136 01:22:43,232 --> 01:22:46,199 - What's a chit? - A message, man. A message. 1137 01:22:46,272 --> 01:22:48,444 I want transport to London. It's urgent. 1138 01:22:48,512 --> 01:22:51,163 Hasn't been any message through here since I've been on duty. 1139 01:22:51,232 --> 01:22:54,844 See what we can do for you. Jake, get R.T.O. at Ami-le-Bon, will ya? 1140 01:22:54,913 --> 01:22:57,433 - Okay, sir. - Yes, Colonel. Yes. 1141 01:22:57,504 --> 01:23:00,319 Yes, we're trying to get through, sir. We're trying the other circuit now. 1142 01:23:00,384 --> 01:23:03,286 Yes, I'll let you know. Merry little madhouse we've got here, isn't it? 1143 01:23:03,360 --> 01:23:06,360 Yes, very. When does my train leave, 1144 01:23:06,433 --> 01:23:08,888 where do I change and where can I get some food? 1145 01:23:08,961 --> 01:23:11,514 I thought so. Thanks very much. 1146 01:23:11,585 --> 01:23:14,454 Yeah. That's just what I thought. You'll have to go through to Ami-le-Bon. 1147 01:23:14,528 --> 01:23:17,245 I've come from Ami-le-Bon to catch a train here. 1148 01:23:17,312 --> 01:23:21,109 - My motorcar is stuck in the mud, so don't... - What's that? What, Colonel? 1149 01:23:21,185 --> 01:23:23,738 The hell you say.! Well, thanks a lot.! 1150 01:23:25,025 --> 01:23:26,879 - That's that. - What's what? 1151 01:23:26,945 --> 01:23:30,294 A German delegation is on its way to see General Foch. 1152 01:23:30,368 --> 01:23:32,441 - They're going to sue for an armistice. - Yippee! 1153 01:23:32,512 --> 01:23:34,519 Nonsense! German propaganda. 1154 01:23:34,592 --> 01:23:36,447 An old trick to put us off our guard. 1155 01:23:36,512 --> 01:23:38,879 What about my train? 1156 01:23:38,944 --> 01:23:41,726 There's not a train or a track or a locomotive to pull one. 1157 01:23:41,792 --> 01:23:46,397 In this war, I've seen ammunition dumps without ammunition, 1158 01:23:46,464 --> 01:23:48,569 field kitchens with no cooks, 1159 01:23:48,640 --> 01:23:50,876 motorcars with no petrol to run them on. 1160 01:23:50,944 --> 01:23:55,679 So I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to find a railway officer without trains. 1161 01:23:55,744 --> 01:23:59,519 But let me tell you this, young man, that in the Boer War or in Somaliland, 1162 01:23:59,584 --> 01:24:02,683 this sort of inefficiency wouldn't have been tolerated for a second. 1163 01:24:02,752 --> 01:24:06,200 Not for a second. Now, where can I get some grub? 1164 01:24:06,271 --> 01:24:08,955 Crown ofThorns is good for a handout at almost any hour. 1165 01:24:09,024 --> 01:24:11,839 - What is it, a pub? - Pub, sir? I don't get you. 1166 01:24:11,904 --> 01:24:14,719 Oh, dash it. We don't speak the same language. 1167 01:24:14,784 --> 01:24:17,020 Uh, a caf�? 1168 01:24:17,087 --> 01:24:19,509 No, sir. It's a convent. It's on the way to Ami-le-Bon. 1169 01:24:20,800 --> 01:24:23,354 Show me the way, will you? 1170 01:24:23,425 --> 01:24:26,075 I think I hear Armstrong coming with a bathtub now. 1171 01:24:36,065 --> 01:24:39,512 Armstrong, I want you to take the general over to the Crown ofThorns. 1172 01:24:39,584 --> 01:24:42,933 Yes, sir. Yes, sir, General. I sure will do that. 1173 01:24:45,504 --> 01:24:48,319 Kind of damp on the foot, but I'll get you there, General. 1174 01:24:48,384 --> 01:24:51,832 - Climb aboard, sir. You're off. - Poor show I couldn't get a train tonight. 1175 01:24:51,904 --> 01:24:54,392 Wasted 24 hours of my leave. 1176 01:24:54,464 --> 01:24:56,635 You can step on it, Armstrong. The general's in a hurry. 1177 01:24:56,704 --> 01:24:59,355 I sure will do that. 1178 01:25:02,944 --> 01:25:04,951 Well, good-bye, General! 1179 01:25:06,304 --> 01:25:08,475 What were those other wars he was talking about? 1180 01:25:08,544 --> 01:25:10,399 The Boer War and the Somi-something? 1181 01:25:10,464 --> 01:25:12,471 I never heard of them. 1182 01:25:12,544 --> 01:25:15,294 Those weren't wars. Those were just summer maneuvers. 1183 01:25:16,736 --> 01:25:19,671 Here we are, General. The Convent of the Crown ofThorns. 1184 01:25:19,744 --> 01:25:22,460 - Let me give you a hand. - I can manage. Thank you. 1185 01:25:35,584 --> 01:25:37,918 - Qui est la? - Bonsoir, SisterJacqueline. 1186 01:25:37,983 --> 01:25:41,017 - Bonsoir, Napoleon. - I brought you a real live colonel. 1187 01:25:41,088 --> 01:25:43,030 Je suis un g�n�ral anglais. 1188 01:25:43,103 --> 01:25:44,958 Mais entrez donc, mon g�n�ral. 1189 01:25:46,943 --> 01:25:48,951 Good night, General. Bon appetit. 1190 01:25:49,024 --> 01:25:51,893 - Good night, SisterJacqueline. - Bonne nuit, Napoleon. 1191 01:25:54,624 --> 01:25:56,632 Que d�sirez-vous, mon g�n�ral? 1192 01:25:56,704 --> 01:26:01,112 Merci, madame. Les am�ricains...moi... 1193 01:26:01,184 --> 01:26:06,454 je suis...je... manger. 1194 01:26:06,528 --> 01:26:09,277 Monsieur le g�n�ral a mang� quelque chose qui lui aurait fait mal? 1195 01:26:09,343 --> 01:26:12,060 - Oui. Manger. - Mais venez donc, mon g�n�ral. 1196 01:26:28,191 --> 01:26:30,046 Bon soir, madame. 1197 01:26:30,111 --> 01:26:33,526 - Good evening, General. - Ah. Matron, for heaven's sake, tell your girls to sit down. 1198 01:26:33,599 --> 01:26:36,633 Sit down, nurses, sit down. 1199 01:26:36,704 --> 01:26:39,835 And your coat. General, you have fallen on your feet. 1200 01:26:39,904 --> 01:26:43,199 I was beginning to think so. 1201 01:26:43,263 --> 01:26:45,751 I have 62 freshly trained nurses straight from England, 1202 01:26:45,823 --> 01:26:47,678 and all dying to nurse someone. 1203 01:26:47,743 --> 01:26:50,077 - Now, what's the trouble? - Trouble, Matron? 1204 01:26:50,143 --> 01:26:52,151 Well, the nun said you'd eaten something. 1205 01:26:52,223 --> 01:26:54,525 She got it wrong. I want to eat. 1206 01:26:54,591 --> 01:26:56,446 - I am hungry. - Oh! 1207 01:26:56,511 --> 01:26:58,366 Yes. 1208 01:26:58,431 --> 01:27:00,286 C'est qu'il veut manger. 1209 01:27:02,271 --> 01:27:04,792 - Soyez le bienvenu, g�n�ral. - Merci, ma m�re. 1210 01:27:04,863 --> 01:27:08,540 - Il va rester avec nous. - Oui, ma m�re. Please. 1211 01:27:10,559 --> 01:27:12,948 That's settled, then. We shall be delighted to have you with us. 1212 01:27:13,023 --> 01:27:14,878 Thank you. 1213 01:27:14,943 --> 01:27:17,431 You've been in the front line? I suppose you have. 1214 01:27:17,502 --> 01:27:21,277 I was with the Italians. I was lucky. I came through Caporetto without a scratch. 1215 01:27:21,342 --> 01:27:23,677 Good heavens, Matron. What insect powder do you use? 1216 01:27:23,743 --> 01:27:25,653 Oh! 1217 01:27:31,264 --> 01:27:33,118 Come and sit over here, General, will you? 1218 01:27:33,184 --> 01:27:35,038 Move up a bit, my dear. 1219 01:27:35,104 --> 01:27:36,958 - Une assiette, s'il vous pla�t. - Oui, matrone. 1220 01:27:37,023 --> 01:27:38,933 Would you pass the water, dear? 1221 01:27:41,344 --> 01:27:44,693 - We have macaroni. Thank you, nurse. - Splendid. 1222 01:27:44,768 --> 01:27:48,063 Matron, have you ever seen the Indian rope trick? 1223 01:27:48,127 --> 01:27:51,029 No, General. Have you? Must be an incredible sight. 1224 01:27:51,103 --> 01:27:52,958 Yes, but I've never heard of anybody who's seen it... 1225 01:27:53,023 --> 01:27:55,194 unless he heard he was going to see it first. 1226 01:27:55,263 --> 01:27:57,118 I beg your pardon. I don't quite understand. 1227 01:27:57,183 --> 01:28:01,274 You hear about a thing, you hope to see it, and then you'll see it. 1228 01:28:01,343 --> 01:28:03,351 Yes, General. Will you excuse me? 1229 01:28:03,424 --> 01:28:05,431 One moment, Matron. Do you know that girl over there? 1230 01:28:05,503 --> 01:28:08,154 I'm afraid I don't. I only met them here at the station. 1231 01:28:08,224 --> 01:28:10,078 Come along, nurses! Bed, everyone! Bed, everybody! 1232 01:28:10,143 --> 01:28:12,183 Come along.! 1233 01:28:13,823 --> 01:28:15,733 Come on, Wynne. 1234 01:28:27,071 --> 01:28:30,716 - Ou est la matron? Oui, la matrone. - La matrone? 1235 01:28:30,783 --> 01:28:33,270 - Vous d�sirez lui parler encore? - Oui, parler. Quick. 1236 01:28:37,438 --> 01:28:40,308 Do you know the name of the girl sitting at the end of that table? 1237 01:28:40,383 --> 01:28:43,350 - Dark or fair? - Fair. 1238 01:28:43,423 --> 01:28:46,554 Oh, I don't remember. Can you describe her better? 1239 01:28:46,623 --> 01:28:48,957 Well, she was fair. I didn't see the color of her eyes. 1240 01:28:49,022 --> 01:28:51,837 - Slim. - Sorry. It might be anyone. 1241 01:28:51,902 --> 01:28:55,350 - Excuse me, General. - Where do you come from tonight? What detachment are you? 1242 01:28:55,422 --> 01:28:57,594 The Yorkshire. West Riding, most of us. 1243 01:28:57,663 --> 01:28:59,573 - Good night, General. - Good night. 1244 01:29:10,079 --> 01:29:12,283 - How long now? - Not long now, sir. 1245 01:29:12,351 --> 01:29:14,871 - You said that 10 separate times. - I know, sir. 1246 01:29:14,943 --> 01:29:16,798 Well, hurry. The train leaves at 10:30. 1247 01:29:16,863 --> 01:29:19,034 - I know, sir. - I need extra time at Ami-le-Bon. 1248 01:29:19,103 --> 01:29:20,958 - I'm going to G.H.Q. - I know, sir. 1249 01:29:21,023 --> 01:29:22,878 Stop talking like an infernal parrot, Murdoch. 1250 01:29:22,943 --> 01:29:25,016 - How do you know? - I was told, sir. 1251 01:29:25,087 --> 01:29:26,941 - Who told you? - Major van Zijl's batman, sir. 1252 01:29:27,007 --> 01:29:29,494 - What did he say? - That you were up in the air, sir, 1253 01:29:29,567 --> 01:29:31,902 because the major had got valuable information from theJerries... 1254 01:29:31,967 --> 01:29:33,821 the prisoners, sir. 1255 01:29:33,887 --> 01:29:36,156 Your misinformation, Murdoch, is typical. 1256 01:29:36,223 --> 01:29:39,998 - Thank you, sir. - Four pages of confessions not worth... 1257 01:29:41,823 --> 01:29:45,118 Kretschmar-Schuldorff. There can't be two of them with a name like that. 1258 01:29:45,183 --> 01:29:47,038 - Eh, Murdoch? - No, sir. 1259 01:29:47,103 --> 01:29:50,070 - You don't know what on earth I'm talking about. - No, sir. 1260 01:29:50,142 --> 01:29:53,972 Haven't I told you about the time I was in Berlin in 1902? 1261 01:29:54,046 --> 01:29:55,988 When you grew your mustache, sir? 1262 01:29:56,062 --> 01:29:59,030 And yet you can't remember the name Kretschmar-Schuldorff. 1263 01:29:59,102 --> 01:30:02,398 You know, you ought to bequeath that brain of yours to Guy's Hospital. 1264 01:30:02,463 --> 01:30:04,634 Oh, I remember now, sir. He married the girl. 1265 01:30:04,702 --> 01:30:07,997 Yes. He married the girl. 1266 01:30:09,983 --> 01:30:11,837 Last night, Murdoch, 1267 01:30:11,903 --> 01:30:15,481 I saw a girl, a nurse, straight from England. 1268 01:30:17,022 --> 01:30:19,673 I've never seen a more striking resemblance. 1269 01:30:19,743 --> 01:30:23,736 She must have been a very common type of girl, sir... the young lady in Berlin, I mean. 1270 01:30:23,806 --> 01:30:27,189 She was a most uncommon... What the devil do you mean, Murdoch? 1271 01:30:27,263 --> 01:30:30,711 Well, sir, there was that girl in films. Remember, you went nine times? 1272 01:30:30,783 --> 01:30:32,638 And there was that girl in the group out of the Bystander. 1273 01:30:32,703 --> 01:30:34,710 We lost it in the big push, didn't we? 1274 01:30:34,783 --> 01:30:38,045 And then there's... Dispatch rider coming, sir. 1275 01:30:38,111 --> 01:30:42,169 - General Candy. Urgent message from Major van Zijl, sir. - Yes. 1276 01:30:42,239 --> 01:30:44,093 Came over the wire from Mile 14. 1277 01:30:44,158 --> 01:30:46,013 They've mended the line, sir. 1278 01:30:50,878 --> 01:30:53,017 Any answer, sir? 1279 01:30:56,607 --> 01:30:58,516 No. No answer. 1280 01:31:11,742 --> 01:31:13,651 Anything wrong, sir? 1281 01:31:15,582 --> 01:31:18,713 Murdoch, the war is over. 1282 01:31:19,967 --> 01:31:21,657 Is it, sir? 1283 01:31:21,726 --> 01:31:23,996 The Germans have accepted the terms of the armistice. 1284 01:31:24,063 --> 01:31:25,917 Hostilities cease at 10:00. 1285 01:31:25,983 --> 01:31:27,925 It's nearly that now. 1286 01:31:27,998 --> 01:31:30,387 Murdoch, do you know what this means? 1287 01:31:30,462 --> 01:31:33,015 I do, sir. Peace. 1288 01:31:35,102 --> 01:31:37,011 I can go home. 1289 01:31:38,238 --> 01:31:40,093 Everybody can go home. 1290 01:31:40,158 --> 01:31:42,973 For me, Murdoch, it means more than that. 1291 01:31:43,038 --> 01:31:47,348 It means that right is might after all. 1292 01:31:47,422 --> 01:31:50,139 The Germans have shelled hospitals, bombed open towns, 1293 01:31:50,206 --> 01:31:53,435 sunk neutral ships, used poison gas... 1294 01:31:53,502 --> 01:31:55,836 and we won. 1295 01:31:55,901 --> 01:31:59,415 Clean fighting, honest soldiering, have won. 1296 01:32:00,447 --> 01:32:03,578 - God bless you, Murdoch. - Sir. 1297 01:33:27,261 --> 01:33:29,750 Miss Barbara! 1298 01:33:29,823 --> 01:33:32,474 Lunch is ready! 1299 01:33:32,543 --> 01:33:34,877 Barbara.! 1300 01:33:36,862 --> 01:33:39,731 - Oh, dear. - Don't listen to them. 1301 01:33:41,022 --> 01:33:43,095 Now, you listen to me. 1302 01:33:44,702 --> 01:33:48,314 There I was asleep. You'd never seen me before. 1303 01:33:48,382 --> 01:33:50,454 You never even spoke to me then. 1304 01:33:52,542 --> 01:33:55,030 How could you be so sure? 1305 01:33:55,102 --> 01:33:57,971 Can I ask you a question first? 1306 01:33:58,046 --> 01:34:00,948 You're wriggling. All right. Fire away. 1307 01:34:02,142 --> 01:34:04,084 How can you be so sure? 1308 01:34:04,158 --> 01:34:07,289 I'm 20 years older than you are and I'm a soldier. 1309 01:34:07,358 --> 01:34:09,333 When other people are thanking God the war is over, 1310 01:34:09,406 --> 01:34:11,348 I'm going to the War Office to ask, 1311 01:34:11,422 --> 01:34:14,520 "Where is another war where you can use me?" 1312 01:34:15,742 --> 01:34:18,709 You asked me that once before, and I told you. 1313 01:34:18,782 --> 01:34:21,270 I'm asking you again because I want to hear it again. 1314 01:34:22,462 --> 01:34:24,371 And again. 1315 01:34:28,222 --> 01:34:33,589 I'm marrying you because I want to join the army and see the world. 1316 01:34:33,661 --> 01:34:36,695 I'm marrying you because I love watching you play polo. 1317 01:34:38,782 --> 01:34:42,491 I am marrying you for 50 different reasons, 1318 01:34:42,557 --> 01:34:45,972 and they all mean "That's how I imagine my future husband." 1319 01:34:51,101 --> 01:34:54,614 Same here. That's how I imagine my future wife. 1320 01:35:02,302 --> 01:35:04,636 Oh, the gong is the final appeal. Darling, we must go. 1321 01:35:04,702 --> 01:35:06,557 We've got the bishop for lunch. 1322 01:35:06,622 --> 01:35:08,629 I hope he's tender. 1323 01:35:08,702 --> 01:35:11,037 And now, in conclusion, 1324 01:35:11,102 --> 01:35:13,590 I, uh... Oh, yes. 1325 01:35:13,661 --> 01:35:16,280 I should like to say a few words to General Candy. 1326 01:35:16,350 --> 01:35:19,033 We members of the Church Militant... 1327 01:35:19,102 --> 01:35:21,436 can admire the heroes of the war, 1328 01:35:21,502 --> 01:35:23,923 but in our hearts, we are men of peace. 1329 01:35:23,998 --> 01:35:28,733 And so I am glad to have met you for the first time, as I did, sir, 1330 01:35:28,798 --> 01:35:32,692 on a simple and heartwarming occasion, 1331 01:35:32,765 --> 01:35:35,253 rather than at some military ceremonial. 1332 01:35:35,326 --> 01:35:38,141 When I first heard that a general of the British army... 1333 01:35:38,206 --> 01:35:42,396 was arranging a ball for the benefit of those nurses of the West Riding... 1334 01:35:42,461 --> 01:35:45,592 who had taken part in the four-year struggle, 1335 01:35:45,661 --> 01:35:51,160 I said to myself, "There is a man whose heart is in the right place. " 1336 01:35:51,229 --> 01:35:55,124 And I am glad to be able to tell you that one result is... 1337 01:35:55,197 --> 01:36:00,893 that the sum of L131, 2-and-6 pence... 1338 01:36:00,957 --> 01:36:05,594 will be handed over to the War Nurses Benevolent Fund. 1339 01:36:07,741 --> 01:36:09,846 My lord Bishop, I want to make a confession. 1340 01:36:09,917 --> 01:36:14,554 I first saw Barbara in Flanders on the last night of the war. 1341 01:36:15,805 --> 01:36:19,351 She was a nurse among 70 other nurses. 1342 01:36:19,421 --> 01:36:21,363 I never knew her name, 1343 01:36:21,437 --> 01:36:23,771 but I found out that most of the nurses came from Yorkshire, 1344 01:36:23,837 --> 01:36:26,390 the West Riding. 1345 01:36:26,461 --> 01:36:30,291 And, of course, she was a nurse. 1346 01:36:30,364 --> 01:36:32,307 So, I thought to myself, 1347 01:36:32,381 --> 01:36:36,309 "Well, Yorkshire is a big place, "my lord Bishop. 1348 01:36:36,381 --> 01:36:38,716 So I thought, 1349 01:36:38,782 --> 01:36:42,459 "How can I find a nurse in Yorkshire?" 1350 01:36:42,526 --> 01:36:46,868 You understand who I'm driving at, I suppose. 1351 01:36:46,941 --> 01:36:48,796 What I mean? 1352 01:36:52,701 --> 01:36:55,287 I understand exactly what you mean, darling. 1353 01:37:17,021 --> 01:37:20,633 - That window is the den. - Wrong. Next floor is the den. 1354 01:37:20,701 --> 01:37:22,556 That's the bathroom. 1355 01:37:22,621 --> 01:37:24,530 Oh, look.! 1356 01:37:25,501 --> 01:37:27,672 Sakes, they're here! 1357 01:37:27,741 --> 01:37:29,596 Is yon gray head Murdoch? 1358 01:37:29,661 --> 01:37:32,050 His idea of greeting the conquering hero, I suppose. 1359 01:37:32,125 --> 01:37:34,546 I think I shall like Murdoch. 1360 01:37:34,621 --> 01:37:36,531 And I know I shall like this house. 1361 01:37:36,604 --> 01:37:39,670 Clive, let this whole house be our den... 1362 01:37:39,740 --> 01:37:41,595 where we can always crawl, 1363 01:37:41,660 --> 01:37:45,272 whether we return with rich spoils or badly mauled from our rovings. 1364 01:37:45,340 --> 01:37:47,577 Or just to change our spots. 1365 01:37:48,701 --> 01:37:50,937 Aunt Margaret would have loved you for that. 1366 01:38:03,837 --> 01:38:07,099 Mm. It's a fine, solid-looking property... like you. 1367 01:38:13,181 --> 01:38:15,188 Clive, you won't change, will you? 1368 01:38:15,261 --> 01:38:17,650 - And don't ever leave this house. - No fear. 1369 01:38:17,726 --> 01:38:22,068 Even if there's a second flood, this house shall always stand on its solid foundations. 1370 01:38:22,141 --> 01:38:24,629 - And we'll have a private lake in the basement. - That's a promise. 1371 01:38:24,701 --> 01:38:27,668 - You stay just as you are till the floods come. - Till the floods come. 1372 01:38:27,741 --> 01:38:30,458 - And this is a lake. - And this is a lake. 1373 01:38:32,061 --> 01:38:33,916 I'm sorry, ma'am... Mrs. Candy. 1374 01:38:33,981 --> 01:38:38,236 - I was at the top of the house. I wasn't expecting you so early, sir. - Murdoch, this is the wife. 1375 01:38:38,301 --> 01:38:40,472 - So you're Murdoch? - Yes, madam. 1376 01:38:40,541 --> 01:38:43,192 First time I've ever heard him answer anything but "Yes, sir." 1377 01:38:43,261 --> 01:38:46,392 Everything is under control. I've got the telephone installed, sir. 1378 01:38:46,461 --> 01:38:49,276 - You have? Good. - The agency has got a lot of cooks for you to see, 1379 01:38:49,341 --> 01:38:51,829 - but I bought plenty of flour and vegetables and potatoes. - Let's get inside. 1380 01:38:51,901 --> 01:38:53,810 Come on. 1381 01:38:54,716 --> 01:38:56,145 This way. This way. Quick. 1382 01:38:58,941 --> 01:39:01,429 - We'll have some fun with this. - All the tradespeople have called, ma'am. 1383 01:39:01,500 --> 01:39:04,315 - They'll be calling again for your orders. - We're not staying this time. 1384 01:39:04,380 --> 01:39:06,235 - Off tonight. Eight weeks in Paris. - Yes, sir. 1385 01:39:06,300 --> 01:39:08,788 When we come back, we'll put our feet up and have a big party. 1386 01:39:08,860 --> 01:39:11,827 Yes, sir. I got your letters from the club on the wee tray. 1387 01:39:11,900 --> 01:39:14,453 Ah. 1388 01:39:16,700 --> 01:39:19,929 I'm so sorry, Murdoch. You took such a lot of trouble. 1389 01:39:19,996 --> 01:39:22,866 That's all right, ma'am. We're used to it. 1390 01:39:22,940 --> 01:39:25,591 I told the porter the general wouldn't be using the club so much in the future, ma'am. 1391 01:39:25,660 --> 01:39:27,667 Oh? And what did he say? 1392 01:39:27,740 --> 01:39:30,075 - Go on, Murdoch. I can bear it. - Uh, yes, ma'am. 1393 01:39:30,140 --> 01:39:33,818 He said, "They all say that at first." 1394 01:39:33,885 --> 01:39:35,990 I say, Barbara. 1395 01:39:36,061 --> 01:39:38,395 There's an answer from the Prisoners of War Committee. 1396 01:39:38,461 --> 01:39:40,949 - Have they found him? - Yes. "Oberst Kretschmar-Schuldorff, 1397 01:39:41,021 --> 01:39:44,370 "Second Regiment of Ulans of the Guard. 1398 01:39:44,445 --> 01:39:47,194 Camp Seven. Hardleigh Hall, Derbyshire. " 1399 01:39:47,260 --> 01:39:49,202 Poor old Theo. 1400 01:39:50,781 --> 01:39:52,952 - Darling. - Mm-hmm? 1401 01:39:53,020 --> 01:39:55,192 Let's postpone Paris. 1402 01:39:55,261 --> 01:39:57,497 I'd love to meet him. 1403 01:40:42,428 --> 01:40:44,665 Message, sir. From the commandant's office. 1404 01:40:54,620 --> 01:40:57,205 No answer. 1405 01:40:57,276 --> 01:40:59,283 No answer! 1406 01:41:10,205 --> 01:41:12,060 - Well? - He said, "No answer," sir. 1407 01:41:12,125 --> 01:41:14,940 - No answer? What else? - Nothing, sir. 1408 01:41:15,996 --> 01:41:17,589 He refused to come? 1409 01:41:17,660 --> 01:41:20,311 If that was the message, madam. 1410 01:41:28,028 --> 01:41:30,133 Why is "very much" printed like that? 1411 01:41:30,204 --> 01:41:31,895 It was a joke we had. 1412 01:41:31,964 --> 01:41:34,615 - Where was the oberst? - Listening to the band, sir. 1413 01:41:34,684 --> 01:41:36,539 All right, Higgins. 1414 01:41:41,500 --> 01:41:45,275 I was thinking... how odd they are. 1415 01:41:45,340 --> 01:41:47,674 Queer. 1416 01:41:47,740 --> 01:41:52,530 For years and years, they're writing and dreaming beautiful music and beautiful poetry. 1417 01:41:53,660 --> 01:41:55,733 All of a sudden, they start a war. 1418 01:41:57,276 --> 01:42:00,789 They sink undefended ships, shoot innocent hostages... 1419 01:42:00,860 --> 01:42:03,510 and bomb and destroy whole streets in London, 1420 01:42:03,579 --> 01:42:05,652 killing little children. 1421 01:42:06,908 --> 01:42:10,553 Then they sit down in the same butcher's uniform... 1422 01:42:10,620 --> 01:42:12,921 and listen to Mendelssohn and Schubert. 1423 01:42:14,299 --> 01:42:16,787 Something horrid about that. 1424 01:42:16,860 --> 01:42:20,209 - Don't you think so, Clive? - Hmm. 1425 01:42:24,603 --> 01:42:27,025 Perhaps I should have written in German. 1426 01:42:27,100 --> 01:42:30,711 He understands English. They all learn English while they're here. 1427 01:42:37,981 --> 01:42:40,152 Major Davies, do you mind if we went down and had a try? 1428 01:42:40,220 --> 01:42:42,554 Perhaps it was because of the music. There's an interval now. 1429 01:42:42,621 --> 01:42:45,490 By all means, try, sir. But Mrs. Candy had better remain. 1430 01:42:45,565 --> 01:42:48,467 Oh. Yes. I can't understand it. 1431 01:42:48,541 --> 01:42:51,258 I've written to him before the war and he's written to me. 1432 01:42:54,428 --> 01:42:57,876 They stopped English lessons on the 11 th of November. 1433 01:42:59,900 --> 01:43:02,617 On Armistice Day. 1434 01:43:14,619 --> 01:43:16,529 Oberst Kretschmar-Schuldorff? 1435 01:43:18,140 --> 01:43:19,995 Over there. 1436 01:43:25,020 --> 01:43:28,282 Theo. 1437 01:44:11,740 --> 01:44:14,936 - Ah, Davies. - Hello, Candy. I hope your wife will forgive me. 1438 01:44:15,004 --> 01:44:18,746 - I'm afraid you didn't read the invitation, old man. - Oh, a bachelor party, eh? 1439 01:44:18,812 --> 01:44:22,390 If I'd realized your charming wife wasn't here, I shouldn't have been in such hurry. 1440 01:44:22,460 --> 01:44:24,948 - No mind. We'll find you something. - I had dinner on the train. 1441 01:44:25,020 --> 01:44:26,874 - I've come straight from Victoria. - Leave? 1442 01:44:26,940 --> 01:44:28,794 - No, duty. - Well, come. Have a glass of port. 1443 01:44:34,555 --> 01:44:36,944 This is Brigadier General Candy's residence. 1444 01:44:37,020 --> 01:44:40,315 - May I speak to the general, please? - Who, may we ask, is speaking? 1445 01:44:40,379 --> 01:44:43,445 Tell him it's Oberst Kretschmar-Schuldorff speaking from Victoria Station, 1446 01:44:43,515 --> 01:44:45,370 and tell him I'm leaving London tonight. 1447 01:44:45,435 --> 01:44:47,290 Do you mind repeating the name, sir? 1448 01:44:47,355 --> 01:44:50,552 Oberst... Kretschmar... Schuldorff! 1449 01:44:50,619 --> 01:44:52,528 Thank you, sir. 1450 01:45:06,459 --> 01:45:08,794 Couldn't he have phoned tomorrow? Where's he speaking from? 1451 01:45:08,859 --> 01:45:11,990 Victoria Station, sir. He's leaving tonight, he said. 1452 01:45:12,059 --> 01:45:15,507 - What name? - Sounded like "Wrenchbar..." something, something. 1453 01:45:15,579 --> 01:45:18,066 - Kretschmar-Schuldorff! - That's it, sir. 1454 01:45:18,139 --> 01:45:20,441 Murdoch, that brain of yours ought to be in a bottle. 1455 01:45:20,507 --> 01:45:23,093 - Theo. - Yes, it's me, Theo. 1456 01:45:23,163 --> 01:45:26,392 How are you, my friend? 1457 01:45:29,275 --> 01:45:32,144 Yes, I'm going home... 1458 01:45:32,219 --> 01:45:35,285 if there's such a thing left in Germany. 1459 01:45:35,355 --> 01:45:38,869 Hmm? Oh, yeah. There are scores of us here. Can't you hear them? 1460 01:45:38,940 --> 01:45:41,809 We have an extra train. It leaves at 11:30. 1461 01:45:43,483 --> 01:45:47,029 Yes, yes. We are under guard. 1462 01:45:47,100 --> 01:45:51,126 Uh, Clive... I may still call you Clive, now you're a general? 1463 01:45:51,196 --> 01:45:54,971 Cut the cackle. What have you got to say for yourself? 1464 01:45:55,036 --> 01:46:00,306 Look, I am sorry. I'm terribly sorry because of our meeting at the camp. 1465 01:46:02,139 --> 01:46:04,027 I was a silly fool. 1466 01:46:04,091 --> 01:46:06,393 Yes, and I felt I had to tell you before I had to leave. 1467 01:46:06,459 --> 01:46:08,466 I must ring off now. Good luck to you. 1468 01:46:08,539 --> 01:46:11,834 - Major Davies. Come here a moment, will you? - Yes? 1469 01:46:11,899 --> 01:46:14,387 I'll send you back to Derbyshire if you're not careful. 1470 01:46:14,459 --> 01:46:17,754 Now you just sit tight and we'll come and get you. 1471 01:46:17,820 --> 01:46:20,470 All right, all right. I won't run away. 1472 01:46:20,539 --> 01:46:22,394 Uh, would you mind, Lieutenant? 1473 01:46:22,459 --> 01:46:25,907 You Prussian stiffneck. The only way to get you is to kidnap you. 1474 01:46:25,979 --> 01:46:28,794 Now, let's have a look at you. 1475 01:46:28,859 --> 01:46:32,307 Ah. You've worn well, old chap. 1476 01:46:32,379 --> 01:46:35,826 - You've still got my mark, I see. - And you still need a mustache. 1477 01:46:35,899 --> 01:46:37,841 - When were you captured? - July 16th. 1478 01:46:37,915 --> 01:46:39,770 You were lucky. You missed the worst of it. 1479 01:46:39,835 --> 01:46:42,388 - I would have preferred to have been unlucky. - That's what you think. 1480 01:46:42,459 --> 01:46:45,012 Have you heard from home? Have you got any children? How about Edith? 1481 01:46:45,083 --> 01:46:47,985 What shall I answer first? Edith is all right, as far as I know. 1482 01:46:48,059 --> 01:46:50,393 And, uh, yes, we have two children. 1483 01:46:50,459 --> 01:46:52,314 Boys, eh? 1484 01:46:52,379 --> 01:46:55,674 - Now, that one's exactly like Edith. - Karl. Yes, he is, isn't he? 1485 01:46:55,738 --> 01:46:57,910 - Though I almost wish we had no children. - What? 1486 01:46:57,979 --> 01:46:59,834 What future can children have in a beaten country? 1487 01:46:59,899 --> 01:47:02,233 Oh, you Germans. You're all a bit crazy. 1488 01:47:02,298 --> 01:47:04,305 You wait till you meet Barbara. She'll tell you what's what. 1489 01:47:04,378 --> 01:47:07,029 - Who is Barbara? - My wife. Oh. Of course. You don't know I'm married. 1490 01:47:07,098 --> 01:47:10,066 - You'll get a bit of a shock when you see her. - Shock? I'm sure she's charming. 1491 01:47:10,139 --> 01:47:12,790 Oh, I don't mean that. You wait and see. 1492 01:47:12,859 --> 01:47:15,761 Of course you won't see her. She's gone out to the theater with her mother. 1493 01:47:15,835 --> 01:47:18,224 Never mind. Have you got any more snapshots? 1494 01:47:18,300 --> 01:47:20,209 Tell me all about yourself. 1495 01:47:21,499 --> 01:47:23,987 Gentlemen! 1496 01:47:24,060 --> 01:47:28,315 This is my friend, Oberst Kretschmar-Schuldorff. 1497 01:47:28,379 --> 01:47:31,030 Sir Archibald Blair, shining light of the Foreign Office. 1498 01:47:31,099 --> 01:47:33,587 - How do you do? - General Betteridge. 1499 01:47:33,659 --> 01:47:35,798 How do you do? I've heard about you, Oberst. 1500 01:47:35,867 --> 01:47:38,201 - General Keen. - How do? 1501 01:47:38,267 --> 01:47:42,063 - Major Michael Cornish and his brother, Major... - John. 1502 01:47:42,139 --> 01:47:44,081 John Cornish. 1503 01:47:44,155 --> 01:47:47,930 Admiral Sir Merton Barrow of the so-called "Senior Service." 1504 01:47:47,995 --> 01:47:50,712 - Commodore Brandon Crester. - Ditto. 1505 01:47:50,779 --> 01:47:53,812 Major Davies you know. 1506 01:47:53,882 --> 01:47:56,632 - Intimately. - Yes. 1507 01:47:56,699 --> 01:47:59,514 Colonel Hopwell, aide to the Governor of Gibraltar. 1508 01:47:59,579 --> 01:48:01,401 How do you do, my dear fellow? 1509 01:48:01,466 --> 01:48:04,783 - Sir William Randall on the Viceroy's staff. - How do you do? 1510 01:48:04,858 --> 01:48:07,673 George Metcalf of Uganda. 1511 01:48:07,738 --> 01:48:11,830 - SirJohn Bembridge, just back from Jamaica. - How do you do, sir? 1512 01:48:11,899 --> 01:48:16,306 Colonel Mannering, known to the press as the uncrowned king of southern Arabia. 1513 01:48:16,378 --> 01:48:20,153 - How do you do? - Mr. Christopher Wynne of Bradford, England. 1514 01:48:20,218 --> 01:48:22,520 - My father-in-law. - How are you? 1515 01:48:22,586 --> 01:48:25,750 - How do you do? - The embodiment of all the solid virtues. 1516 01:48:25,818 --> 01:48:28,633 Sit down, Theo. What will you have to drink? 1517 01:48:28,698 --> 01:48:31,032 - Port, please. - Port. 1518 01:48:31,098 --> 01:48:34,546 - Pass the port around. - It has to go round the clock, Oberst. 1519 01:48:34,618 --> 01:48:36,527 - Cigar? Cigarette? - Uh, cigarette, please. 1520 01:48:36,602 --> 01:48:39,188 They're both on the table, thousands of them. 1521 01:48:39,258 --> 01:48:42,325 Oh, sorry. 1522 01:48:42,395 --> 01:48:45,362 I don't suppose you'll remember me, 1523 01:48:45,435 --> 01:48:48,250 but we met in Berlin in '02. 1524 01:48:48,315 --> 01:48:50,704 - Oh, did we? - Ah. Barstow. 1525 01:48:50,779 --> 01:48:53,746 Colonel Barstow of the Royal Air Force, Oberst Kretschmar-Schuldorff. 1526 01:48:53,819 --> 01:48:56,786 How do you do? Don't get up. 1527 01:48:56,859 --> 01:48:59,674 - I'm glad to see you're on your way home at last, Oberst. - Thank you, sir. 1528 01:48:59,739 --> 01:49:03,765 I can't imagine anything more awful than being a prisoner of war in England. 1529 01:49:03,835 --> 01:49:07,512 - I don't think it is much good anywhere. - Oh, my dear fellow, 1530 01:49:07,579 --> 01:49:10,546 in this country, people poke their nose into everything. 1531 01:49:10,619 --> 01:49:13,107 - You get any letters from spinsters? - Yes, we have. 1532 01:49:13,179 --> 01:49:17,107 Yes, I thought so. They started a campaign to write to prisoners of war. 1533 01:49:17,179 --> 01:49:20,594 - Not our chaps, mind you. - Oh, it wasn't so bad. 1534 01:49:20,667 --> 01:49:22,455 We had books, concerts, lectures. 1535 01:49:22,522 --> 01:49:24,464 I'm sure your camp was well run. 1536 01:49:24,538 --> 01:49:26,993 German organization is very thorough. 1537 01:49:27,066 --> 01:49:29,270 A bit too thorough for us. 1538 01:49:29,338 --> 01:49:32,305 Was the cooking good? 1539 01:49:32,378 --> 01:49:35,160 It was English cooking. 1540 01:49:35,227 --> 01:49:37,049 Fellow's got a sense of humor. 1541 01:49:37,114 --> 01:49:41,718 My daughterJoyce started a campaign to better the food of the German prisoners. 1542 01:49:41,786 --> 01:49:44,950 I remember the government was also charged with overfeeding them! 1543 01:49:45,018 --> 01:49:47,571 Oh, we're not too bad. Drink up, Theo. 1544 01:49:50,074 --> 01:49:52,278 Gentlemen, your health. 1545 01:49:53,818 --> 01:49:56,306 - Good luck. - Good luck. 1546 01:49:56,378 --> 01:49:58,767 By the way, what have you done with old Tiger Bloomfield? 1547 01:49:58,842 --> 01:50:00,784 At Victoria. He's in the bar at the Grosvenor. 1548 01:50:00,858 --> 01:50:04,916 - He was hostage for the oberst. - Now, where is the sense of guarding officer prisoners... 1549 01:50:04,986 --> 01:50:08,564 - nearly a year after the fighting's over? - I imagine it is more to protect us. 1550 01:50:08,633 --> 01:50:10,488 - Protect against what? - People. 1551 01:50:10,553 --> 01:50:13,173 - What people? How do you mean? - Your people. 1552 01:50:13,243 --> 01:50:16,788 They can't be adjusted from war to peace as easily as you can, gentlemen. 1553 01:50:16,859 --> 01:50:19,990 Oh, I think you'll find that's not true. 1554 01:50:20,058 --> 01:50:23,888 You mean to say that our people would attack you in that uniform? 1555 01:50:23,963 --> 01:50:26,297 I tried to kill Englishmen in this uniform. 1556 01:50:26,363 --> 01:50:28,949 My dear fellow, that's rather a gloomy point of view, isn't it? 1557 01:50:29,019 --> 01:50:31,637 You've got the wrong end of the stick, old man. 1558 01:50:31,707 --> 01:50:34,707 - Of course. The war's over. - Yes. There's nothing to be a menace about. 1559 01:50:34,778 --> 01:50:37,113 You're a decent fellow and so are we. 1560 01:50:37,178 --> 01:50:40,047 I am not a decent fellow. I'm a beggar, 1561 01:50:40,122 --> 01:50:43,897 like the rest of all the professional soldiers in our army. 1562 01:50:43,962 --> 01:50:47,028 A beaten country can't have an army, so what are we going to do? 1563 01:50:47,098 --> 01:50:49,203 I imagine there will be a great deal to do. 1564 01:50:49,274 --> 01:50:51,511 But not for us. 1565 01:50:51,578 --> 01:50:56,466 We know a bit about horses. We can become stable boys. 1566 01:50:56,538 --> 01:50:58,709 You'll feel differently when you're home again. 1567 01:50:58,778 --> 01:51:03,600 Home. But what will the home be like? Another prison camp. 1568 01:51:03,674 --> 01:51:05,976 Who says so? 1569 01:51:06,042 --> 01:51:09,424 Aren't we going to have foreign troops occupying our cities for years? 1570 01:51:09,498 --> 01:51:13,110 - For years? I like that. - I've never heard a man more wrong than you are. 1571 01:51:13,178 --> 01:51:16,145 - We don't want to make beggars of you. - And we're a trading nation. 1572 01:51:16,218 --> 01:51:18,127 We must have countries to trade with. 1573 01:51:18,202 --> 01:51:20,788 Surely you realize the reconstruction of Germany... 1574 01:51:20,858 --> 01:51:23,029 is essential to the peace of Europe. 1575 01:51:23,098 --> 01:51:27,353 I can't see our taxpayers keeping an army in your country. Can you, Candy? 1576 01:51:27,418 --> 01:51:31,192 No. Of course not. Read the papers, man. The English papers. 1577 01:51:31,257 --> 01:51:35,665 We can't ask you to be our friends if we rob you and humiliate you too. 1578 01:51:35,737 --> 01:51:38,225 That's how we all feel, eh? 1579 01:51:38,298 --> 01:51:40,207 We want to be friends. 1580 01:51:47,099 --> 01:51:50,710 "We want to trade with Germany," said one. 1581 01:51:50,778 --> 01:51:55,513 A general said, "We don't want to keep an army just to occupy your country." 1582 01:51:55,578 --> 01:51:59,735 A general! Oh, they are children! 1583 01:51:59,802 --> 01:52:01,744 Boys playing cricket. 1584 01:52:01,818 --> 01:52:05,363 They win the shirts off our backs, and now they want to give them back... 1585 01:52:05,434 --> 01:52:07,027 because the game is over. 1586 01:52:07,098 --> 01:52:09,269 War is a most unpopular thing in England. 1587 01:52:09,338 --> 01:52:11,825 They are already organizing pacifist societies. 1588 01:52:11,898 --> 01:52:14,451 Their newspapers are antimilitant. 1589 01:52:16,057 --> 01:52:18,545 Wait a moment. 1590 01:52:18,618 --> 01:52:21,269 Here we can get to something. 1591 01:52:21,338 --> 01:52:23,247 Antimilitary. 1592 01:52:24,634 --> 01:52:29,369 This childlike stupidity is a raft for us... 1593 01:52:30,617 --> 01:52:33,268 in a sea of despair. 1594 01:52:33,337 --> 01:52:35,988 Do you know what my friend General Candy said? 1595 01:52:36,058 --> 01:52:39,407 "Don't you worry, old chap. We'll soon have Germany on her feet again." 1596 01:52:48,601 --> 01:52:50,543 Well, I think we made an impression on him. 1597 01:52:50,617 --> 01:52:53,432 The last thing I said to him was, "My dear fellow, don't you worry. 1598 01:52:53,497 --> 01:52:55,918 We'll soon have Germany on her feet again. " 1599 01:52:55,993 --> 01:52:59,735 - And he believed it? - Theo? I believe so. 1600 01:52:59,802 --> 01:53:01,973 Well, I hope so. 1601 01:53:19,738 --> 01:53:22,934 Darling? Don't hum. 1602 01:53:24,858 --> 01:53:27,192 - Was I humming? - Mm-hmm. 1603 01:53:27,258 --> 01:53:29,232 It's a little habit you've got. 1604 01:53:35,962 --> 01:53:37,816 What will I do if I don't hum? 1605 01:55:29,657 --> 01:55:32,952 - Theodor Kretschmar-Schuldorff. - Here. 1606 01:55:34,297 --> 01:55:36,468 - This way, please. - Your registration book... 1607 01:55:36,537 --> 01:55:38,610 and identity card, please. 1608 01:55:42,009 --> 01:55:43,983 Sit down. 1609 01:55:58,297 --> 01:56:02,225 - When did you arrive in this country? - The 6th ofJune '35. 1610 01:56:02,297 --> 01:56:04,304 - From? - Paris, France. 1611 01:56:04,377 --> 01:56:07,672 I arrived in France the 15th ofJanuary '34. 1612 01:56:07,736 --> 01:56:09,809 - From Germany? - Yes. 1613 01:56:10,777 --> 01:56:13,329 Why did you leave Germany? 1614 01:56:13,400 --> 01:56:16,882 My outlook of life is against the Nazis'. 1615 01:56:16,954 --> 01:56:20,215 Most refugees left Germany early in 1933, 1616 01:56:20,281 --> 01:56:22,223 when Hitler came to power. 1617 01:56:22,297 --> 01:56:24,239 I had nothing to fear from Hitler. 1618 01:56:24,313 --> 01:56:26,931 At least I-I thought so. 1619 01:56:27,001 --> 01:56:30,384 It took me eight months to find out I was wrong. 1620 01:56:30,457 --> 01:56:33,075 Rather a long time. 1621 01:56:33,145 --> 01:56:35,000 Don't you think so? 1622 01:56:35,065 --> 01:56:38,959 Please, I mean no offense, but you in England took five years. 1623 01:56:39,033 --> 01:56:41,368 Well, quite right. 1624 01:56:42,361 --> 01:56:44,249 Have you been in England before? 1625 01:56:44,313 --> 01:56:47,957 Yes. I was prisoner of war in the last war. 1626 01:56:49,656 --> 01:56:54,326 I see you were an officer. When did you leave the army? 1627 01:56:54,393 --> 01:56:56,466 In 1920. 1628 01:56:56,537 --> 01:57:00,628 Eight out of ten officers had to retire when the German army ceased to exist. 1629 01:57:00,697 --> 01:57:03,730 - As a large army, I mean. - You prefer the existence of a large army? 1630 01:57:03,801 --> 01:57:06,387 Not anymore. 1631 01:57:06,457 --> 01:57:10,068 In '20 I chose a new profession. I became a military chemist. 1632 01:57:10,136 --> 01:57:12,471 I worked for 13 years in a factory in Mannheim. 1633 01:57:12,537 --> 01:57:15,025 Are you married? 1634 01:57:15,097 --> 01:57:16,951 My wife is dead. 1635 01:57:17,017 --> 01:57:19,351 Children? 1636 01:57:19,416 --> 01:57:22,285 Two. I have no connection with them. 1637 01:57:23,256 --> 01:57:25,263 They are good Nazis... 1638 01:57:26,777 --> 01:57:28,849 as far as any Nazi can be called good. 1639 01:57:28,920 --> 01:57:31,189 I'm afraid, Mr. Kretschmar-Schuldorff, 1640 01:57:31,256 --> 01:57:33,809 that doesn't sound very much in your favor. 1641 01:57:35,096 --> 01:57:37,485 I've tried to answer correctly. 1642 01:57:38,648 --> 01:57:40,623 Personally, I don't doubt your good faith, 1643 01:57:40,696 --> 01:57:43,729 but I'm here to safeguard my country's interests. 1644 01:57:43,800 --> 01:57:46,550 You may be an anti-Nazi, you may not. 1645 01:57:46,617 --> 01:57:49,105 In times like these, one enemy in our midst... 1646 01:57:49,177 --> 01:57:51,894 can do more harm than ten across the Channel. 1647 01:57:53,497 --> 01:57:56,792 If you were here to work for the enemy, what would you tell me now? 1648 01:57:56,856 --> 01:57:59,344 Exactly the same. That you were a friend of England... 1649 01:57:59,417 --> 01:58:01,751 and that our enemy was your enemy. 1650 01:58:01,817 --> 01:58:04,631 I know this is hard on those who are really with us, 1651 01:58:04,697 --> 01:58:08,952 but it should be their best assurance that this time we mean business. 1652 01:58:09,017 --> 01:58:13,359 If you are a friend, our precautions are your precautions... 1653 01:58:13,432 --> 01:58:15,985 and our interests, your interests, 1654 01:58:16,056 --> 01:58:20,082 because our victory will be your victory. 1655 01:58:21,337 --> 01:58:23,726 Is there anything else you'd like to say? 1656 01:58:26,072 --> 01:58:27,927 If you don't mind, sir... 1657 01:58:27,992 --> 01:58:30,381 No. Go ahead. 1658 01:58:30,456 --> 01:58:32,311 In earlier years, 1659 01:58:32,376 --> 01:58:36,369 the most important principle of my life used to be "never lie, 1660 01:58:36,440 --> 01:58:38,295 always tell the truth. " 1661 01:58:38,360 --> 01:58:40,881 Very good principle. I hope you stick to it. 1662 01:58:40,953 --> 01:58:43,822 Oh, I have not told a lie, but l... 1663 01:58:43,896 --> 01:58:46,645 I also have not told the truth. 1664 01:58:46,712 --> 01:58:51,633 A refugee soon learns that there is a big difference between the two. 1665 01:58:51,704 --> 01:58:56,144 The truth about me is that I'm a tired old man... 1666 01:58:56,216 --> 01:58:59,086 who came to this country because he's homesick. 1667 01:59:01,496 --> 01:59:06,231 Oh, please, don't stare at me like that, sir. I'm all right in the head. 1668 01:59:06,296 --> 01:59:10,158 You know that after the war we had very bad years in Germany. 1669 01:59:10,232 --> 01:59:14,388 We got poorer and poorer. Every day, retired officers and school teachers... 1670 01:59:14,456 --> 01:59:16,398 were caught shoplifting. 1671 01:59:16,472 --> 01:59:20,783 Money lost its value. The price of everything rose... 1672 01:59:20,857 --> 01:59:23,507 except of human beings. 1673 01:59:23,577 --> 01:59:27,351 We read in the papers, of course, that the after-war years were bad everywhere. 1674 01:59:27,416 --> 01:59:29,838 That crime was increasing and that the honest citizens... 1675 01:59:29,913 --> 01:59:32,782 were having a hard job to put the gangsters in jail. 1676 01:59:34,936 --> 01:59:37,751 Well, I needn't tell you, sir, that in Germany... 1677 01:59:37,816 --> 01:59:41,973 the gangsters finally succeeded in putting the honest citizens in jail. 1678 01:59:44,121 --> 01:59:46,488 My wife was English. 1679 01:59:46,552 --> 01:59:49,105 She would have loved to have come back to England. 1680 01:59:49,176 --> 01:59:53,748 But it seemed to me that I would be letting down my country in its greatest need. 1681 01:59:53,817 --> 01:59:56,053 And so she stayed at my side. 1682 01:59:57,112 --> 02:00:00,243 When, in summer '33, 1683 02:00:00,312 --> 02:00:05,363 we found that we had lost our children to the Nazi Party, 1684 02:00:05,432 --> 02:00:08,302 and I was willing to come, 1685 02:00:08,376 --> 02:00:10,285 she died. 1686 02:00:11,416 --> 02:00:13,969 None of my sons came to her funeral. 1687 02:00:17,080 --> 02:00:18,989 Heil Hitler. 1688 02:00:21,656 --> 02:00:26,871 And then on January '35, I had to go to Berlin on a mission for my firm. 1689 02:00:26,936 --> 02:00:31,343 Driving up in my car, I lost my way on the outskirts of the city... 1690 02:00:31,415 --> 02:00:35,725 and suddenly the landscape seemed so familiar to me. 1691 02:00:37,016 --> 02:00:40,311 And slowly I recognized... 1692 02:00:40,375 --> 02:00:43,507 the road, the lake... 1693 02:00:43,576 --> 02:00:47,350 and a nursing home where I spent some weeks recovering... 1694 02:00:47,416 --> 02:00:51,191 oh, almost 40 years ago. 1695 02:00:51,257 --> 02:00:54,071 I stopped the car and sat still, 1696 02:00:54,137 --> 02:00:56,558 remembering. 1697 02:00:56,632 --> 02:01:01,421 And, you see, in this very nursing home, sir, 1698 02:01:01,496 --> 02:01:04,627 I met my wife for the first time... 1699 02:01:04,696 --> 02:01:07,544 and I met an Englishman who became my greatest friend. 1700 02:01:08,792 --> 02:01:13,582 And I remembered the people at the station in '19, 1701 02:01:13,656 --> 02:01:15,827 when we prisoners were sent home, 1702 02:01:15,896 --> 02:01:19,344 cheering us, treating us like friends. 1703 02:01:19,415 --> 02:01:23,507 The faces of a party of distinguished men round a table... 1704 02:01:23,576 --> 02:01:25,431 who tried their utmost to comfort me... 1705 02:01:25,496 --> 02:01:28,529 when the defeat of my country seemed to me unbearable. 1706 02:01:29,816 --> 02:01:32,150 And... 1707 02:01:32,216 --> 02:01:34,550 very foolishly, 1708 02:01:34,616 --> 02:01:37,911 I remembered the English countryside. 1709 02:01:37,976 --> 02:01:41,904 The gardens, the green lawns, 1710 02:01:41,976 --> 02:01:44,147 the weedy rivers and the trees... 1711 02:01:45,655 --> 02:01:47,728 she loved so much. 1712 02:01:50,455 --> 02:01:52,310 And a great desire came over me... 1713 02:01:52,375 --> 02:01:54,764 to come back to my wife's country. 1714 02:01:58,712 --> 02:02:01,167 And this, sir, is the truth. 1715 02:02:20,216 --> 02:02:23,511 Haven't you got anyone in this country who knows you well? 1716 02:02:23,576 --> 02:02:25,431 A British, uh, citizen? 1717 02:02:25,496 --> 02:02:27,351 The doorman at the chemical works... 1718 02:02:27,416 --> 02:02:29,424 where I offered my services. 1719 02:02:29,495 --> 02:02:32,627 Police officers at the Aliens Department at Bow Street. 1720 02:02:32,696 --> 02:02:34,605 Constable. 1721 02:02:35,896 --> 02:02:38,831 Don't you know Major-General Clive Wynne-Candy? 1722 02:02:40,376 --> 02:02:42,230 Yes, I used to know him. 1723 02:02:42,296 --> 02:02:45,263 Did you ask him to come here and testify on your behalf? 1724 02:02:45,336 --> 02:02:48,849 Yes, I did send him a letter, but I suppose he... 1725 02:02:55,000 --> 02:02:57,171 Theo! My dear chap. 1726 02:02:57,239 --> 02:02:59,094 Let's have a good look at you. 1727 02:02:59,159 --> 02:03:01,493 By God, you've kept your figure better than I have. 1728 02:03:01,560 --> 02:03:03,414 I'm a bit of a bay window, what? 1729 02:03:03,480 --> 02:03:06,862 You see, sir, I wouldn't be surprised if this fellow really disliked us. 1730 02:03:06,935 --> 02:03:08,790 He comes to England twice in his life. 1731 02:03:08,855 --> 02:03:12,630 The first time he's a prisoner, and the second time he's just about to be one. 1732 02:03:12,695 --> 02:03:16,786 May I talk to him, sir? I haven't seen him for 19... No. 1733 02:03:16,855 --> 02:03:19,310 - Twenty. - Twenty years and a bit. 1734 02:03:19,383 --> 02:03:22,863 Afraid not here, General. We have many Kretschmar-Schuldorffs waiting. 1735 02:03:22,935 --> 02:03:27,987 Do you mean to say that I've traveled 11 hours from... mustn't say where... 1736 02:03:28,055 --> 02:03:30,705 and you won't allow me to have a word with a condemned man? 1737 02:03:30,775 --> 02:03:33,426 - You don't have to go back this minute, do you? - Tomorrow morning, sir. 1738 02:03:33,495 --> 02:03:37,107 - Infernally early too. - That's all right. You can talk to him all day and all night. 1739 02:03:37,175 --> 02:03:39,957 Till midnight. Aliens'curfew, you know. 1740 02:03:40,023 --> 02:03:43,187 - And I can take him with me? - If you say you know him. 1741 02:03:45,175 --> 02:03:49,583 - Do I know him? - And will stand surety for him. 1742 02:03:49,655 --> 02:03:51,565 With everything I have, sir. 1743 02:04:16,535 --> 02:04:19,437 - Well, it's time I was going. - The night's young yet. 1744 02:04:19,511 --> 02:04:22,064 Don't you remember? Curfew for aliens. 1745 02:04:22,135 --> 02:04:24,274 - Oh, yes. - I have to be at home by midnight. 1746 02:04:24,343 --> 02:04:26,644 Don't forget, sir. You have to be up at 6:00. 1747 02:04:26,712 --> 02:04:28,566 - Early parade, eh? - Aye. 1748 02:04:28,632 --> 02:04:31,152 How lucky you are, Clive. 1749 02:04:31,223 --> 02:04:34,125 Yes. They put me on the retired list in '35, 1750 02:04:34,199 --> 02:04:36,053 but I knew they'd want me again. 1751 02:04:36,119 --> 02:04:38,453 Back I went on the active list like a shot. 1752 02:04:41,175 --> 02:04:45,103 I mean, uh, why don't you stay? 1753 02:04:45,175 --> 02:04:47,030 I've 18 rooms. 1754 02:04:47,095 --> 02:04:49,331 - Murdoch, rally round. - Thank you, Clive. 1755 02:04:49,399 --> 02:04:52,465 I'd better not. I would need a special permit, anyway. 1756 02:04:53,750 --> 02:04:55,987 All right, Murdoch. As you were. 1757 02:04:56,055 --> 02:04:59,186 Stay a little longer. I'll send you home by car. 1758 02:04:59,254 --> 02:05:02,069 Murdoch, tell Miss Cannon to be here by quarter to 12:00. 1759 02:05:02,134 --> 02:05:04,305 - Very good, sir. - Who is Miss Cannon? 1760 02:05:04,375 --> 02:05:06,284 Miss Cannon? My driver, M.T.C. 1761 02:05:09,335 --> 02:05:12,466 Do you remember, Clive, we used to say... 1762 02:05:12,535 --> 02:05:17,357 "Our armies are fighting for our women, our children and our homes"? 1763 02:05:17,431 --> 02:05:20,627 Now the women are fighting beside the men. 1764 02:05:20,694 --> 02:05:23,346 The children are being trained to shoot. 1765 02:05:23,415 --> 02:05:27,572 What's left is the home, but what is the home without women and children? 1766 02:05:29,335 --> 02:05:31,823 You never met my wife. Would you like to see a picture of her? 1767 02:05:31,895 --> 02:05:33,902 Oh, very much. 1768 02:05:36,215 --> 02:05:39,182 Do you remember when that was all I was able to say in English? 1769 02:05:40,151 --> 02:05:41,744 "Very much." 1770 02:05:44,055 --> 02:05:46,062 You got further with them than I ever got. 1771 02:05:46,135 --> 02:05:48,623 In what respect? 1772 02:05:48,695 --> 02:05:51,183 Dash it. Don't tell me you didn't know. 1773 02:05:51,255 --> 02:05:53,644 Knew what? 1774 02:05:53,719 --> 02:05:55,891 Well, you make me blush. 1775 02:05:55,959 --> 02:05:58,642 I don't know what you're talking about. 1776 02:05:58,711 --> 02:06:02,355 Well, I thought it was written all over my face when I left Berlin in '02. 1777 02:06:02,423 --> 02:06:04,757 Don't forget, I never saw your face after you'd left. 1778 02:06:06,775 --> 02:06:08,782 I was in love with her... your wife. 1779 02:06:11,670 --> 02:06:13,525 She never told me. 1780 02:06:13,590 --> 02:06:15,729 She never knew. 1781 02:06:16,695 --> 02:06:18,866 But I seem to remem... 1782 02:06:18,934 --> 02:06:23,506 Oh, Clive, that last day in Berlin when I told you, you seemed genuinely happy. 1783 02:06:23,575 --> 02:06:26,226 Dash it. I didn't know then. 1784 02:06:26,295 --> 02:06:29,109 But on the train I started to miss her. 1785 02:06:29,175 --> 02:06:31,825 On the boat it was worse, and by the time I got back to London, 1786 02:06:31,894 --> 02:06:33,749 well, I'd got it properly. 1787 02:06:33,814 --> 02:06:35,822 My Aunt Margaret got on to the scent straight away. 1788 02:06:35,894 --> 02:06:38,545 Women have a nose for these sort of things. 1789 02:06:38,614 --> 02:06:41,582 Besides, I did a stupid thing. 1790 02:06:41,654 --> 02:06:44,720 First night back, I took out her sister. 1791 02:06:44,790 --> 02:06:46,962 - Aunt Margaret's? - Edith's. 1792 02:06:47,030 --> 02:06:48,939 - Oh, Martha? - Yes. 1793 02:06:49,014 --> 02:06:50,869 What is stupid about that? 1794 02:06:50,934 --> 02:06:53,170 Thinking her sister would be like she was. 1795 02:06:54,455 --> 02:06:56,626 Like Edith? 1796 02:06:56,695 --> 02:06:58,604 Yes. 1797 02:06:59,575 --> 02:07:02,390 Well, you got over it. 1798 02:07:02,455 --> 02:07:04,789 That's just it. I never got over it. 1799 02:07:04,855 --> 02:07:07,822 Theo, this may sound a damn silly thing to say to you, 1800 02:07:07,894 --> 02:07:10,928 but... I never got over it. 1801 02:07:13,495 --> 02:07:16,844 You may say that she was my ideal... 1802 02:07:16,919 --> 02:07:20,628 if you were some sort of sickening, long-haired poet. 1803 02:07:20,695 --> 02:07:23,662 All my life, I've been looking for a woman like her. 1804 02:07:24,855 --> 02:07:27,506 So now you know. 1805 02:07:27,575 --> 02:07:30,225 Well, uh, I never thought it possible... 1806 02:07:30,294 --> 02:07:32,683 that an Englishman could be so romantic. 1807 02:07:35,030 --> 02:07:36,885 And your wife? 1808 02:07:36,950 --> 02:07:38,859 You don't mind my asking you? 1809 02:07:38,934 --> 02:07:40,844 You loved her? 1810 02:07:40,918 --> 02:07:42,861 Yes. Dreadfully. 1811 02:07:43,894 --> 02:07:45,749 She was exactly like Edith. 1812 02:07:45,814 --> 02:07:47,724 I'll show her to you. 1813 02:07:58,742 --> 02:08:00,597 Oh, she's very lovely. 1814 02:08:00,662 --> 02:08:03,728 But isn't she like Edith, eh? See the resemblance? 1815 02:08:03,798 --> 02:08:05,903 Yes. 1816 02:08:05,974 --> 02:08:09,105 There's something very striking. 1817 02:08:09,174 --> 02:08:13,331 But you must not forget, I saw Edith 31 years later than you. 1818 02:08:13,398 --> 02:08:16,300 We grew old together. 1819 02:08:16,374 --> 02:08:18,228 You understand? 1820 02:08:18,294 --> 02:08:22,123 Ah. Yes, of course. But she was exactly like her. 1821 02:08:23,702 --> 02:08:25,612 Mm. 1822 02:08:28,151 --> 02:08:31,500 It's a strange place to hang such a lovely picture. 1823 02:08:31,574 --> 02:08:34,542 She wanted it. I call this my den, you know? 1824 02:08:34,614 --> 02:08:38,324 She always knew I used to come back here. We had a joke about it. 1825 02:08:38,390 --> 02:08:40,300 All my stuff's here. 1826 02:08:42,679 --> 02:08:45,068 It would be an awful gap without her. 1827 02:08:46,582 --> 02:08:49,265 Have a peg, what? 1828 02:08:49,335 --> 02:08:53,525 It must be terrible to lose someone very dear to you in a foreign country. 1829 02:08:53,591 --> 02:08:55,980 It wasn't a foreign country. It was Jamaica. 1830 02:09:06,294 --> 02:09:08,269 Bye, Clive. Have a nice journey. 1831 02:09:08,342 --> 02:09:10,863 - Don't worry about anything. Everything's under control. - That's fine. 1832 02:09:10,934 --> 02:09:12,788 Will you close the door, sir, please? 1833 02:09:12,854 --> 02:09:15,341 - Oh, shut up, Murdoch. - Good luck to you, Murdoch. 1834 02:09:15,414 --> 02:09:19,026 Thank you, sir, but the general isn't taking me. I'm staying behind to look after things here. 1835 02:09:19,094 --> 02:09:21,265 - You know the way, Angela? - Yes, sir. 1836 02:09:30,774 --> 02:09:33,741 - The door, sir. Please! - What, did you see the warden? 1837 02:09:33,813 --> 02:09:36,301 I'm the warden of this district, sir. 1838 02:09:36,374 --> 02:09:39,822 Oh, it must be very difficult to drive in a blackout. 1839 02:09:39,893 --> 02:09:41,966 It's not as bad as it looks, sir. 1840 02:09:43,254 --> 02:09:45,490 I suppose you've done a lot of night driving. 1841 02:09:45,557 --> 02:09:49,419 No, sir. I never drove before the war. 1842 02:09:49,493 --> 02:09:52,625 - What made you learn it? - My boyfriend taught me. 1843 02:09:52,694 --> 02:09:54,930 But not at night. 1844 02:09:54,997 --> 02:09:58,315 - Is he a good driver? - Oh, first-rate. 1845 02:09:58,390 --> 02:10:00,398 He's one of the Bentley boys... 1846 02:10:00,470 --> 02:10:02,707 just now he walks on his two flat feet. 1847 02:10:02,774 --> 02:10:05,043 He's a private in training. 1848 02:10:06,199 --> 02:10:08,620 What was your job before the war, Miss Cannon? 1849 02:10:08,694 --> 02:10:11,563 - Photographic model. - Oh? Interesting work. 1850 02:10:12,598 --> 02:10:14,605 Not bad. Bit hard on the feet. 1851 02:10:16,342 --> 02:10:18,284 How did you know my name, sir? 1852 02:10:18,358 --> 02:10:20,627 The general talked about you. 1853 02:10:20,694 --> 02:10:23,509 Oh, did he? 1854 02:10:23,574 --> 02:10:26,542 - Mind if we try and beat the light, sir? - No, not at all. 1855 02:10:29,814 --> 02:10:33,163 Oh. Sorry, sir. Couldn't make it. 1856 02:10:34,230 --> 02:10:36,467 You like being the general's driver? 1857 02:10:36,534 --> 02:10:38,868 Of course. Who wouldn't? He's such an old darling. 1858 02:10:38,934 --> 02:10:41,684 I could have done a handstand when he asked for me. 1859 02:10:41,750 --> 02:10:43,986 You know, he chose me out of 700 girls, sir. 1860 02:10:45,174 --> 02:10:47,312 Some odds, isn't it? 700-to-1. 1861 02:10:47,381 --> 02:10:50,993 For crying out loud. Look at that light. He ought to be reported. 1862 02:10:54,613 --> 02:10:57,264 Oh, come on. Don't be all night. 1863 02:10:59,190 --> 02:11:02,124 Ah. 1864 02:11:04,053 --> 02:11:06,060 That's what causes accidents. 1865 02:11:11,574 --> 02:11:13,428 Long odds, weren't they, sir? 1866 02:11:13,494 --> 02:11:16,461 - I beg your pardon? - Seven hundred-to-one. 1867 02:11:16,533 --> 02:11:19,118 Makes me a bit of an outsider. 1868 02:11:22,133 --> 02:11:24,468 What is your first name, Miss Cannon? 1869 02:11:24,533 --> 02:11:26,388 Angela. 1870 02:11:26,453 --> 02:11:28,526 It's a lovely name. 1871 02:11:28,598 --> 02:11:30,453 Comes from "angel," doesn't it? 1872 02:11:30,518 --> 02:11:34,031 I think it stinks. My friends call meJohnny. 1873 02:11:36,150 --> 02:11:38,703 Is it this crossing or the next, sir? 1874 02:11:38,774 --> 02:11:41,043 Oh, this will do here. 1875 02:11:45,910 --> 02:11:48,146 - Good night, Angela. - Good night, sir. 1876 02:11:48,213 --> 02:11:50,831 I'd like to see your boyfriend one of these days. 1877 02:11:50,901 --> 02:11:52,657 Me too. Good night, sir. 1878 02:12:11,894 --> 02:12:13,748 He's on his way down now. 1879 02:12:13,814 --> 02:12:16,301 For the love of Gielgud, go and stop him as he gets out of the lift. 1880 02:12:16,373 --> 02:12:19,668 - If you let him put one whisker inside the studio, you are- - Out. 1881 02:12:19,734 --> 02:12:22,548 - Thank you, sir. This way, General. - Thank you. 1882 02:12:22,614 --> 02:12:25,101 - General Wynne-Candy? - This way to Studio Five, sir. 1883 02:12:25,173 --> 02:12:27,344 - Mr. Herbert Marsh would like to see you. - Never heard of him. 1884 02:12:27,413 --> 02:12:29,421 - Yes, but he's heard of you, sir. - Has he? Good. 1885 02:12:29,493 --> 02:12:32,940 - It's this way to Studio Five. - What time does my broadcast start, precisely? 1886 02:12:33,013 --> 02:12:35,184 - Well, almost at 1:00, sir. - At 21:20, sir. 1887 02:12:35,253 --> 02:12:38,449 - Plenty of time. - Excuse me, miss... - Oh, shut up. 1888 02:12:40,693 --> 02:12:42,864 - Sorry, old chap. - A regular warren, eh? 1889 02:12:42,932 --> 02:12:45,169 - Yes. - Beehive of industry. 1890 02:12:45,237 --> 02:12:47,092 - Yes, sir. - Do you like working here? 1891 02:12:47,157 --> 02:12:49,132 Very much. You meet such interesting people. 1892 02:12:49,205 --> 02:12:51,059 You can tell that from the programs. 1893 02:12:51,124 --> 02:12:53,034 General Wynne-Candy. 1894 02:12:55,093 --> 02:12:56,075 Whew. 1895 02:12:56,149 --> 02:12:58,005 - I don't think I've met you, sir. - No. 1896 02:12:58,070 --> 02:13:00,459 - Afraid I've not had that pleasure. Won't you sit down? - Thank you. 1897 02:13:00,534 --> 02:13:02,388 - Cigarette? - Thank you. 1898 02:13:02,454 --> 02:13:04,625 Pretty snug quarters you've got here. And deep. 1899 02:13:04,694 --> 02:13:07,083 - Yes. We have to be deep these days. - I quite agree. 1900 02:13:07,158 --> 02:13:11,020 Back to the Stone Age, what? I don't think I'll light this at the moment, if you don't mind. 1901 02:13:11,093 --> 02:13:12,948 Bad for speaking. Makes the throat dry. 1902 02:13:13,013 --> 02:13:15,185 Hmm. General, um, 1903 02:13:15,254 --> 02:13:17,588 I'm afraid we've been having a little trouble about your broadcast. 1904 02:13:17,653 --> 02:13:19,660 Well, I'm used to trouble. I'm a soldier. 1905 02:13:19,733 --> 02:13:23,345 Yes. The, uh, authorities... 1906 02:13:23,413 --> 02:13:25,268 think that it's a little ill-timed... 1907 02:13:25,333 --> 02:13:27,722 and, uh, might be better postponed. 1908 02:13:29,173 --> 02:13:32,621 Think it's a little ill-timed? 1909 02:13:32,694 --> 02:13:35,115 Who has been saying that? Why? 1910 02:13:35,189 --> 02:13:37,906 Well, General, you know, in times of war... 1911 02:13:37,973 --> 02:13:40,624 Don't talk to me about war. 1912 02:13:40,693 --> 02:13:44,304 No. Of course. That would be, um, grotesque. 1913 02:13:44,373 --> 02:13:46,860 I have been asked to describe in this broadcast... 1914 02:13:46,933 --> 02:13:49,748 my views on the cause of the retreat and its aspects for the future. 1915 02:13:49,813 --> 02:13:53,108 There they are. I've been serving my country for 44 years. 1916 02:13:53,173 --> 02:13:55,180 What was your position before this one, eh? 1917 02:13:55,253 --> 02:13:57,107 - A lawyer. - What? A lawyer? 1918 02:13:57,173 --> 02:13:59,027 Well, I was a soldier. 1919 02:13:59,093 --> 02:14:00,947 And before that, I suppose you were in college. 1920 02:14:01,013 --> 02:14:02,867 And I was a soldier. 1921 02:14:02,933 --> 02:14:05,267 And I was a soldier when you were a baby. 1922 02:14:05,333 --> 02:14:07,024 And before you were born, sir, 1923 02:14:07,093 --> 02:14:09,427 when you were nothing but a toss-up between a girl's and a boy's name, 1924 02:14:09,492 --> 02:14:11,565 I was a soldier then. 1925 02:14:16,853 --> 02:14:19,024 I'm deeply sorry, sir. 1926 02:14:19,092 --> 02:14:23,664 - I know it's not you. - No. I'm afraid it isn't. 1927 02:14:23,732 --> 02:14:27,027 I'll make the necessary inquiries through the War Office. 1928 02:14:27,092 --> 02:14:30,061 - I'll have a light for this cigarette now, if you please. - Yes. 1929 02:14:30,134 --> 02:14:32,948 Malta this morning had its 25th air raid... 1930 02:14:33,013 --> 02:14:35,348 since Italy entered the war last Monday. 1931 02:14:35,413 --> 02:14:38,708 It's not known if there was any damage or casualties. 1932 02:14:38,773 --> 02:14:41,261 - Cigarette, soldier? - In yesterday's raids, 1933 02:14:41,333 --> 02:14:44,202 one civilian was killed and eight were wounded. 1934 02:14:46,453 --> 02:14:49,749 That brings us to the end of the news and to tonight's postscript, 1935 02:14:49,813 --> 02:14:52,147 which is given by Mr.J. B. Priestly. 1936 02:14:54,197 --> 02:14:56,052 What on earth could have happened? 1937 02:14:56,117 --> 02:14:59,346 - Murdoch, you think he's had an accident? - I cannot think, miss. 1938 02:14:59,413 --> 02:15:01,267 I was expecting it. 1939 02:15:01,333 --> 02:15:03,667 - Why? - I've read his speech. 1940 02:15:03,733 --> 02:15:05,588 I thought they would cancel it. 1941 02:15:10,133 --> 02:15:11,987 It's him. 1942 02:15:12,053 --> 02:15:16,657 Sorry about the slight delay. Now here is Mr. Priestly. 1943 02:15:16,725 --> 02:15:18,797 Murdoch, where can I go? The general mustn't find me here. 1944 02:15:18,868 --> 02:15:22,130 - Let me handle it. - Oh, no fear. Let me out of here. 1945 02:15:32,372 --> 02:15:34,544 Hello, Theo. 1946 02:15:34,613 --> 02:15:37,515 If supper's ready, you can serve it, Murdoch. 1947 02:15:37,589 --> 02:15:41,745 - I'm very sorry, sir. I shouldn't be here. - Hmm? Why? 1948 02:15:41,812 --> 02:15:45,227 I asked Miss Cannon to come in. She was anxious to hear your broadcast. 1949 02:15:45,300 --> 02:15:47,188 Canceled at the last minute. 1950 02:15:47,252 --> 02:15:49,040 Pity we hurried as we did, Angela. 1951 02:15:49,108 --> 02:15:51,825 We didn't leave the War Office till 5-and-20 to 9:00. 1952 02:15:51,892 --> 02:15:55,241 There's a War Office letter for you there, sir. It came this afternoon. 1953 02:15:55,316 --> 02:15:58,862 Paul Reynaud has resigned. Petain is Prime Minister. 1954 02:15:58,932 --> 02:16:00,940 - Bad news. - What? Oh, yes. 1955 02:16:01,013 --> 02:16:02,922 Bad news. 1956 02:16:10,548 --> 02:16:12,720 Sherry, sir? 1957 02:16:12,789 --> 02:16:14,698 Mm. Yes. 1958 02:16:20,597 --> 02:16:23,445 Sherry, miss? 1959 02:16:23,509 --> 02:16:26,509 - Sherry, Mr. Sch...sir? - Yes, please. 1960 02:16:38,837 --> 02:16:40,812 Thank you. 1961 02:16:43,092 --> 02:16:46,059 How is your fianc�? 1962 02:16:46,132 --> 02:16:48,685 - He's not my fianc�. - Oh, beg your pardon. 1963 02:16:49,972 --> 02:16:52,623 - How's your boyfriend? - He's getting a commission. 1964 02:16:52,692 --> 02:16:54,764 Oh. Congratulations. 1965 02:17:02,132 --> 02:17:04,619 - I ought to go, you know. - No, no. Stay a bit longer. 1966 02:17:06,356 --> 02:17:08,625 Cheers. 1967 02:17:08,692 --> 02:17:10,602 Down the hatch. 1968 02:17:16,052 --> 02:17:18,386 Any news about your application? 1969 02:17:18,451 --> 02:17:21,899 - Turned down. Enemy alien. - But you're an expert. 1970 02:17:21,972 --> 02:17:24,590 - Why didn't you ask him? He knows everybody. - He was away. 1971 02:17:24,660 --> 02:17:26,765 Dinner is served, sir. 1972 02:17:28,051 --> 02:17:29,961 Yes. 1973 02:17:33,812 --> 02:17:35,819 I'm going now, sir. Will you want the car anymore? 1974 02:17:35,892 --> 02:17:37,965 I've brought an extra cover, sir. 1975 02:17:39,572 --> 02:17:43,729 Sit down, Angela, Theo. Sit down, both of you. 1976 02:17:43,797 --> 02:17:47,342 - Thank you, sir. I've had my dinner. - Have another one, Angela. 1977 02:17:47,412 --> 02:17:51,340 If you're worrying about sitting down with your general, then stop worrying. 1978 02:17:51,412 --> 02:17:53,322 I'm not a general anymore. 1979 02:17:55,829 --> 02:17:58,546 - Clive, what has happened? - Retired again. 1980 02:17:58,613 --> 02:18:00,685 Axed. They don't need me anymore. 1981 02:18:02,357 --> 02:18:04,364 Sorry, sir. 1982 02:18:06,132 --> 02:18:10,704 - Well, I-I know how that feels. - No, you don't. 1983 02:18:10,772 --> 02:18:13,587 Oh, I was barely 45 when it happened to me. 1984 02:18:13,652 --> 02:18:16,303 Different kettle of fish. You were made to do it. 1985 02:18:16,372 --> 02:18:20,878 But we're not finished, nor am l... just starting. 1986 02:18:20,948 --> 02:18:23,185 I've often thought a fellow like me dies... 1987 02:18:23,252 --> 02:18:25,488 special knowledge... awful waste. 1988 02:18:25,556 --> 02:18:27,410 Well, am I dead? 1989 02:18:27,476 --> 02:18:29,548 Does my knowledge count for nothing, eh? 1990 02:18:29,620 --> 02:18:31,475 Experience, skill? 1991 02:18:31,540 --> 02:18:37,104 - You tell me. - It is a different knowledge they need now, Clive. 1992 02:18:37,171 --> 02:18:40,139 The enemy's different so you have to be different too. 1993 02:18:40,211 --> 02:18:42,219 Are you mad? I know what war is. 1994 02:18:42,292 --> 02:18:44,942 - I don't agree. - You... 1995 02:18:45,011 --> 02:18:49,746 I read your broadcast up to the point where you described the collapse of France. 1996 02:18:49,811 --> 02:18:53,805 You commented on Nazi methods... foul fighting, bombing refugees, 1997 02:18:53,876 --> 02:18:57,421 machine-gunning hospitals, lifeboats, lightships, bailed-out pilots and so on... 1998 02:18:57,491 --> 02:18:59,825 by saying that you despised them, 1999 02:18:59,892 --> 02:19:02,380 that you would be ashamed to fight on their side... 2000 02:19:02,452 --> 02:19:05,900 and that you'd sooner accept defeat than victory... 2001 02:19:05,972 --> 02:19:08,306 if it could only be won by those methods! 2002 02:19:08,372 --> 02:19:10,314 So I would. 2003 02:19:10,388 --> 02:19:14,861 Clive, if you let yourself be defeated by them... 2004 02:19:14,932 --> 02:19:18,227 just because you are too fair to hit back... 2005 02:19:18,292 --> 02:19:20,464 the same way they hit at you, 2006 02:19:21,812 --> 02:19:25,128 there won't be any methods but Nazi methods. 2007 02:19:25,204 --> 02:19:27,659 If you preach the rules of the game, 2008 02:19:27,732 --> 02:19:31,660 while they use every foul and filthy trick against you, 2009 02:19:31,732 --> 02:19:34,547 they'll laugh at you. 2010 02:19:34,612 --> 02:19:37,646 They'll think you're weak, decadent. 2011 02:19:40,212 --> 02:19:43,081 I thought so myself in 1919. 2012 02:19:43,156 --> 02:19:45,098 I heard all that in the last war. 2013 02:19:45,172 --> 02:19:48,139 They fought foul then, and who won it? 2014 02:19:49,331 --> 02:19:51,339 I don't think you won it. 2015 02:19:51,412 --> 02:19:54,859 We lost it, but you lost something too. 2016 02:19:54,931 --> 02:19:57,070 You forgot to learn the moral. 2017 02:19:58,675 --> 02:20:00,617 Because victory was yours, 2018 02:20:00,691 --> 02:20:03,560 you failed to learn your lesson 20 years ago, 2019 02:20:03,635 --> 02:20:05,643 and now you have to pay the school fees again. 2020 02:20:05,715 --> 02:20:08,563 Some of you will learn quicker than the others. 2021 02:20:08,627 --> 02:20:10,482 Some will never learn it, 2022 02:20:10,547 --> 02:20:12,936 because you've been educated to be a gentleman... 2023 02:20:13,012 --> 02:20:15,499 and a sportsman in peace and in war. 2024 02:20:15,571 --> 02:20:17,513 But, Clive, 2025 02:20:18,772 --> 02:20:20,877 dear old Clive, 2026 02:20:22,516 --> 02:20:25,582 this is not a gentleman's war. 2027 02:20:25,651 --> 02:20:30,058 This time you're fighting for your very existence... 2028 02:20:30,131 --> 02:20:34,769 against the most devilish idea ever created by a human brain. 2029 02:20:35,764 --> 02:20:37,869 Nazism. 2030 02:20:37,940 --> 02:20:40,874 And if you lose, 2031 02:20:40,948 --> 02:20:44,625 there won't be a return match next year. 2032 02:20:44,692 --> 02:20:47,245 Perhaps not even for 100 years. 2033 02:20:57,652 --> 02:20:59,888 Well, you... 2034 02:20:59,956 --> 02:21:04,233 You mustn't mind me, an alien, saying all this. 2035 02:21:04,307 --> 02:21:07,656 But who can describe hydrophobia better than one who's been bitten... 2036 02:21:09,171 --> 02:21:11,081 and is now immune? 2037 02:21:16,531 --> 02:21:18,636 Well, you see, Angela? 2038 02:21:18,707 --> 02:21:21,806 Even one's best friend lets one down. 2039 02:21:24,371 --> 02:21:26,226 I don't think so, sir. 2040 02:21:26,291 --> 02:21:29,324 You too, eh? Kick a fellow when he's down, what? 2041 02:21:29,395 --> 02:21:31,664 Nobody would ever kick you, sir. 2042 02:21:31,732 --> 02:21:34,066 You've just got to change over, that's all. 2043 02:21:34,131 --> 02:21:36,040 Change over to what? 2044 02:21:37,491 --> 02:21:40,840 Well, a new job. It's easy enough for a man. 2045 02:21:40,915 --> 02:21:44,625 Think so, eh? Swap horses in midstream. 2046 02:21:44,691 --> 02:21:47,724 A lot of people have had to do it in this war. It's better than drowning. 2047 02:21:47,795 --> 02:21:49,650 Bravo, Angela. 2048 02:21:49,715 --> 02:21:53,261 I shall call you John in future. She's hit the nail on the head. 2049 02:21:53,331 --> 02:21:57,586 I don't know you. You shouldn't give up so easily, my boy. 2050 02:21:57,651 --> 02:22:01,164 Is this the same man who took Berlin by storm 40 years ago? 2051 02:22:01,235 --> 02:22:04,531 Look at me. Nobody wants me, but do I give up? 2052 02:22:04,595 --> 02:22:07,017 Nobody wants you and you're an expert. 2053 02:22:07,092 --> 02:22:10,540 I don't know anything but soldiering. 2054 02:22:10,611 --> 02:22:13,262 Not even that, apparently. 2055 02:22:13,331 --> 02:22:15,819 What about the Home Guard, sir? 2056 02:22:15,892 --> 02:22:17,747 They need leaders. They're just becoming an army. 2057 02:22:17,812 --> 02:22:19,983 If we're invaded, they're our first defense! The papers say so! 2058 02:22:20,051 --> 02:22:21,906 There you are. You know everybody. 2059 02:22:21,971 --> 02:22:24,873 You could get them arms and instructors and equipment. 2060 02:22:24,947 --> 02:22:26,802 Ah, what a job! 2061 02:22:26,867 --> 02:22:28,722 Forming a new army. 2062 02:22:28,787 --> 02:22:30,696 Home Guard, eh? 2063 02:22:30,771 --> 02:22:33,422 Yes, sir. I was going to tell you myself, sir. 2064 02:22:33,491 --> 02:22:35,979 You're drunk, Murdoch. Tell me what? 2065 02:22:36,052 --> 02:22:38,059 - That I've joined the Home Guard, sir. - You? 2066 02:22:38,131 --> 02:22:41,000 Yes, sir. Anything wrong with the soup, sir? 2067 02:22:41,075 --> 02:22:43,922 How should anybody know if they haven't touched it? 2068 02:22:46,451 --> 02:22:48,622 Take it away, Lance Corporal Murdoch. 2069 02:22:48,691 --> 02:22:52,782 Sergeant Murdoch, sir. What have you been doing, sir, all this time? 2070 02:22:52,851 --> 02:22:55,818 Nothing, you blockhead, except talk! 2071 02:22:57,811 --> 02:22:59,883 But watch now! 2072 02:23:22,610 --> 02:23:25,425 Be it ever so humble 2073 02:23:25,490 --> 02:23:28,305 There's no place like home 2074 02:23:28,370 --> 02:23:30,542 Hello. What's this? 2075 02:23:33,682 --> 02:23:36,367 Hmm. 2076 02:23:41,171 --> 02:23:43,026 Here you go, boys. Here's some tea. 2077 02:23:48,691 --> 02:23:51,342 Hi, missus, two basins for me and my old China. 2078 02:23:51,411 --> 02:23:53,745 - Oh! - Get your skates on. 2079 02:23:53,811 --> 02:23:56,299 See this? "Major-General Clive Wynne-Candy." 2080 02:23:56,371 --> 02:23:58,226 Blimey. What a moniker. Fill it up. 2081 02:23:58,291 --> 02:24:00,298 "Have moved to Royal Bathers Club, Piccadilly." 2082 02:24:00,371 --> 02:24:03,568 I should think he needed a bath after this lot. Good luck to the old bastard. 2083 02:24:05,490 --> 02:24:07,978 - Still here? Don't be late. - Just going to... 2084 02:24:08,051 --> 02:24:10,539 - By gad. What's that? - A gun, sir. My brother's a gamekeeper. 2085 02:24:10,611 --> 02:24:12,847 That's the ticket. Load with number four. 2086 02:24:12,915 --> 02:24:15,337 We'll soon have rifles, tommy guns too. 2087 02:24:15,411 --> 02:24:17,647 - You know which end is which? - Oh, yes, sir. 2088 02:24:21,491 --> 02:24:23,979 Break it up, chaps. 2089 02:24:24,051 --> 02:24:25,960 Good afternoon. 2090 02:24:38,354 --> 02:24:41,737 By gad, we'll have the proper weapons or I'll know the reason why. 2091 02:24:41,811 --> 02:24:44,461 I won't leave their damn doorstep. I'll make a stay-in stroke... 2092 02:24:44,531 --> 02:24:47,018 or a sit-down strike or whatever they call it. 2093 02:24:47,090 --> 02:24:49,163 We'll show 'em, Angela, eh? 2094 02:24:50,451 --> 02:24:52,938 A real army, eh? 2095 02:24:53,010 --> 02:24:55,181 The men are all right... keen as mustard. 2096 02:24:55,251 --> 02:24:58,698 Organization, general staff, offices, general headquarters... that's what we want. 2097 02:24:58,770 --> 02:25:00,843 And by gad, we'll get them. 2098 02:25:03,346 --> 02:25:05,517 - You hear, Angela? - Yes, sir. 2099 02:25:05,586 --> 02:25:08,238 Give me one year... six months! 2100 02:25:08,307 --> 02:25:10,314 I'll show 'em. 2101 02:26:26,354 --> 02:26:28,204 - Take the afternoon off. - Thank you, sir. 2102 02:26:28,274 --> 02:26:30,249 - Club, 7:30. - Very good, sir. 2103 02:26:30,322 --> 02:26:32,362 Point to the throat, my boy. 2104 02:26:37,811 --> 02:26:41,739 Gentleman, this is der Tag, what? 2105 02:26:41,811 --> 02:26:44,145 This is the most vital and comprehensive exercise... 2106 02:26:44,210 --> 02:26:47,025 in which the Home Guard have yet taken part... defense of London. 2107 02:26:47,090 --> 02:26:49,425 We've trained for it. We can tackle it. 2108 02:26:49,491 --> 02:26:51,662 - We'll put up a good show, eh? - That we will, sir. 2109 02:26:51,730 --> 02:26:55,985 - We'll show these youngsters there's life in the old dog yet. 2110 02:26:56,051 --> 02:26:59,280 Gentlemen, war starts at midnight. 2111 02:27:15,570 --> 02:27:18,057 Five minutes easy, Sergeant! 2112 02:27:38,802 --> 02:27:40,657 Tea for two! 2113 02:27:41,618 --> 02:27:43,527 Number nine! Doctor's favorite! 2114 02:27:51,089 --> 02:27:53,096 - Gotta go in a minute. Got a job on. - Why? 2115 02:27:53,169 --> 02:27:55,558 - Oh, you would have. - Come and have a look. 2116 02:28:02,929 --> 02:28:05,101 - See that? - What, those trucks? 2117 02:28:05,170 --> 02:28:08,465 - My private army! - Well, what about it? 2118 02:28:08,529 --> 02:28:11,497 Do you remember what you told me last night... amongst other things? 2119 02:28:11,570 --> 02:28:13,425 Yes, I do, and I wish I hadn't told you now. 2120 02:28:13,490 --> 02:28:16,785 Why do you think that I wanted the lowdown on Sugar Candy's movements? 2121 02:28:16,851 --> 02:28:19,753 - Well, why did you? What's the mystery? - We're off to see him. 2122 02:28:19,826 --> 02:28:21,681 - Who? - The wizard. 2123 02:28:21,746 --> 02:28:23,885 - What for? - Because of the wonderful things he does! 2124 02:28:23,954 --> 02:28:26,856 Oh, shut up, Spud! What do you mean? 2125 02:28:26,930 --> 02:28:28,839 We're going to teach him total war. 2126 02:28:28,914 --> 02:28:31,664 - How? - Capture him. War starts at midnight, 2127 02:28:31,730 --> 02:28:34,697 but we're going to bag him hours before that. 2128 02:28:34,770 --> 02:28:36,941 - Nazi methods. You know. - You're not a Nazi, Spud! 2129 02:28:37,010 --> 02:28:38,985 - We're not training to fight Englishman! - You can't do this! 2130 02:28:39,058 --> 02:28:41,905 - Can't I? Watch me! - I won't let you do it! He's such a dear old man. 2131 02:28:41,969 --> 02:28:44,871 So will I be when I'm over the hundreds! Ah, tea! 2132 02:28:44,946 --> 02:28:47,019 But, Spud, how can you do it? 2133 02:28:47,090 --> 02:28:49,097 - I know what it would mean to him! - You can't stop me, Johnny! 2134 02:28:49,170 --> 02:28:51,406 Within an hour, the wizard will be the captive of my bow and spear, 2135 02:28:51,473 --> 02:28:54,321 not to mention three dozen of the toughest troops between here and New Zealand. 2136 02:28:54,386 --> 02:28:56,295 - Come on. Drink this. - But, Spud, don't you see? 2137 02:28:56,369 --> 02:28:59,020 I gave you the information and it's mean to take advantage of it! 2138 02:28:59,090 --> 02:29:01,479 Don't be a sissy! In war, anything goes! 2139 02:29:02,578 --> 02:29:04,683 Oh, no, you don't. 2140 02:29:09,425 --> 02:29:12,295 Say.! Here, stop that.! 2141 02:29:12,370 --> 02:29:14,224 Oh.! Oh, darling. 2142 02:29:14,290 --> 02:29:16,232 Oh! He's dead! 2143 02:29:16,305 --> 02:29:18,989 Oh! Mr-Mr. Marshall! 2144 02:29:19,057 --> 02:29:21,228 Spud! 2145 02:29:28,689 --> 02:29:30,599 - Spud! Come on, sir. - What happened? 2146 02:29:33,489 --> 02:29:35,824 - She got me! Mata Hari! - Who? 2147 02:29:35,889 --> 02:29:38,442 Come on! Quick! Oh, no. 2148 02:29:40,146 --> 02:29:43,495 - Well, any luck? - Not a hope. She's halfway to London by now. 2149 02:29:43,570 --> 02:29:45,904 She's gone to warn the wizard! Come on. Get my tin hat. 2150 02:29:45,970 --> 02:29:48,359 Get after her! Quick! 2151 02:29:48,434 --> 02:29:50,376 Oh. Hey! Who's gonna pay for the tea? 2152 02:29:50,450 --> 02:29:52,457 - Sergeant Smith! - Huh? 2153 02:29:52,530 --> 02:29:54,985 - Yeah. - Oh! 2154 02:29:55,058 --> 02:29:56,913 Mr. Marshall! 2155 02:30:17,873 --> 02:30:19,728 - Really, miss, it's quite impossible. - Get him on the phone then. 2156 02:30:19,793 --> 02:30:22,062 - But, miss, this is... - Oh, go on, man. 2157 02:30:22,129 --> 02:30:24,518 Very good. 2158 02:30:25,809 --> 02:30:27,751 Headquarters speaking. 2159 02:30:27,825 --> 02:30:30,858 His driver wishes to speak to General Wynne-Candy. 2160 02:30:30,929 --> 02:30:33,580 Yes, it's abou... 2161 02:30:33,649 --> 02:30:35,820 - Is General Wynne-Candy in the club? - No, sir. 2162 02:30:35,889 --> 02:30:38,377 - Get me General Wynne-Candy. - He left an hour ago with Brigadier General Caldicott... 2163 02:30:38,449 --> 02:30:40,783 - and Air Vice Marshal Lloyd-Hughes. - Did he say where he was going? 2164 02:30:40,849 --> 02:30:44,145 - Excuse me, but what is your business with the general? - I have an urgent message. 2165 02:30:44,209 --> 02:30:47,078 - If you give me the message, I'll see the general gets it. - Oh, damn it all, man. 2166 02:30:47,153 --> 02:30:49,739 - Are you a Home Guard? - Why, sir? 2167 02:30:49,809 --> 02:30:52,143 The password is Veuve Cliquot 1911. 2168 02:30:52,209 --> 02:30:54,697 The general and his staff are in the Turkish bath, sir. 2169 02:30:54,769 --> 02:30:56,940 Sergeant Hawkins, you're in charge here. 2170 02:30:57,009 --> 02:30:59,824 Stay with him. And don't you leave or answer the phone. You're a prisoner. 2171 02:30:59,889 --> 02:31:03,272 - The war doesn't start till midnight. - Aha.! That's what you think. 2172 02:31:03,344 --> 02:31:06,214 Sergeant, that girl under there, she's a prisoner too. 2173 02:31:06,289 --> 02:31:09,103 - Corporal, leave these men with me. - All right, boys.! This is it.! 2174 02:31:09,169 --> 02:31:11,984 Brute force and ruddy ignorance. 2175 02:31:12,050 --> 02:31:15,345 Hello. Hello? Hello? 2176 02:31:15,410 --> 02:31:19,185 Well, warn him, then. Warn him! Can't you understand English? Tell him to hide! 2177 02:31:19,250 --> 02:31:21,584 Gentleman, the war will soon be over. 2178 02:31:21,649 --> 02:31:24,300 We agree, it's very fine to win the last battle. 2179 02:31:24,369 --> 02:31:26,442 We much prefer to win the first. 2180 02:31:28,690 --> 02:31:31,177 You will be kept prisoner in this building till 6:00 a.m. 2181 02:31:48,529 --> 02:31:50,918 It's all right, sir. He's still there. 2182 02:31:55,377 --> 02:31:57,232 Hello, Clive. 2183 02:31:57,297 --> 02:32:00,047 Hello, Theo. I'm glad you've come. 2184 02:32:00,113 --> 02:32:03,823 - I couldn't have stood anybody else. - Ah, well, that's all right. 2185 02:32:03,889 --> 02:32:06,376 - You've heard, I suppose. - Yes. 2186 02:32:06,448 --> 02:32:08,685 Johnny told me. 2187 02:32:08,753 --> 02:32:10,608 And? 2188 02:32:10,673 --> 02:32:13,094 Well, I think it was a dirty trick, but... 2189 02:32:13,168 --> 02:32:15,983 I can't help finding it a bit funny too. 2190 02:32:16,048 --> 02:32:19,015 It is. That's the worst of it. 2191 02:32:19,088 --> 02:32:21,739 What do you think is going to happen now? 2192 02:32:21,808 --> 02:32:25,420 Officially, this young fellow would be brought up before a court of inquiry... 2193 02:32:25,489 --> 02:32:27,496 and the exercise repeated some other time. 2194 02:32:27,568 --> 02:32:29,902 Will there be an inquiry, sir? 2195 02:32:29,969 --> 02:32:32,041 No, there won't. I'll see to that. 2196 02:32:33,808 --> 02:32:35,881 - Where is he now? - Who? Spud, sir? 2197 02:32:35,953 --> 02:32:37,808 Oh, he's with his men. 2198 02:32:37,873 --> 02:32:39,880 They're marching into London. 2199 02:32:44,465 --> 02:32:48,873 - Did you see them? - Yes, we saw them coming when we came across the Cromwell Road. 2200 02:32:48,945 --> 02:32:51,433 The whole army, with bands. 2201 02:32:51,505 --> 02:32:53,677 How did they look, eh? 2202 02:32:53,745 --> 02:32:55,981 - Well, Clive, I must say they... - Oh, they looked okay. 2203 02:33:20,528 --> 02:33:23,179 They cleaned up my place rather nicely. 2204 02:33:23,248 --> 02:33:25,801 Oh, they built an emergency water tank there too, sir. 2205 02:33:38,928 --> 02:33:41,579 I've been thinking this over all night. 2206 02:33:41,648 --> 02:33:44,037 I don't want to get this young fellow into trouble. 2207 02:33:45,648 --> 02:33:47,917 I think I'll invite him to dinner, instead. 2208 02:33:47,984 --> 02:33:50,799 Wasn't I just as much of a young fool as he is? 2209 02:33:50,864 --> 02:33:53,253 - Of course I was. - Yes. 2210 02:33:53,328 --> 02:33:57,103 But I wonder if he's going to be such a grand old man as you are. 2211 02:33:57,168 --> 02:34:00,616 When I was a young chap, I was all gas and gaiters... 2212 02:34:00,688 --> 02:34:02,695 with no experience worth a damn. 2213 02:34:02,768 --> 02:34:05,550 Now, tons of experience and nobody thinks I'm any use. 2214 02:34:07,344 --> 02:34:10,541 I remember when I got back from Berlin in '02. 2215 02:34:10,608 --> 02:34:15,344 Old Betteridge gave me the worst wigging I ever had. 2216 02:34:15,409 --> 02:34:18,224 And then he invited me to dinner. 2217 02:34:18,289 --> 02:34:21,322 I didn't accept. I often wish I had. 2218 02:34:24,944 --> 02:34:27,497 Yes, I think I will invite him to dinner. 2219 02:34:27,568 --> 02:34:29,423 And he better accept, you hear? 2220 02:34:29,488 --> 02:34:31,343 Yes, sir. 2221 02:34:31,408 --> 02:34:33,677 Here they come! 2222 02:34:45,808 --> 02:34:48,459 That's a promise. You stay just as you are till the floods come. 2223 02:34:48,529 --> 02:34:49,958 Till the floods come. 2224 02:34:50,033 --> 02:34:53,381 - And this is a lake. - And this is a lake. 2225 02:34:53,456 --> 02:34:55,660 Now here is the lake... 2226 02:34:55,728 --> 02:34:57,583 and I still haven't changed. 2227 02:34:58,800 --> 02:35:00,393 Sir?