1 00:00:40,624 --> 00:00:44,528 CHORUS: ♪ Going barefoot in the park 2 00:00:44,561 --> 00:00:47,564 ♪ Where it says, "Keep off the grass" 3 00:00:48,599 --> 00:00:52,836 ♪ Isn't recommended for the very old 4 00:00:56,840 --> 00:01:00,811 ♪ But when you're young and you're in love 5 00:01:00,844 --> 00:01:03,547 ♪ The world is beautiful 6 00:01:05,015 --> 00:01:08,985 ♪ And I'm not a bit afraid of you catching cold 7 00:01:12,689 --> 00:01:15,392 ♪ Running barefoot through the park 8 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:19,396 ♪ Searching bareheaded in the rain 9 00:01:20,431 --> 00:01:23,133 ♪ For a midwinter daisy 10 00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:25,636 ♪ Seems kind of crazy to do 11 00:01:28,271 --> 00:01:31,274 ♪ But come along My barefoot love 12 00:01:32,576 --> 00:01:35,211 ♪ To the fields that shine with spring 13 00:01:35,245 --> 00:01:36,447 We just got married! 14 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:38,382 ♪ Though it's 10 below 15 00:01:38,415 --> 00:01:41,485 ♪ Let me go knee-deep in daisies with you 16 00:01:44,388 --> 00:01:46,089 ♪ La la la 17 00:01:46,122 --> 00:01:47,824 They just got married. 18 00:01:48,559 --> 00:01:51,462 ♪ La la la la la la la 19 00:01:52,663 --> 00:01:56,400 ♪ La la la la la la la la la la la 20 00:02:01,004 --> 00:02:04,441 ♪ La la la la la la la la 21 00:02:06,176 --> 00:02:08,379 ♪ La la la la la 22 00:02:08,412 --> 00:02:11,515 ♪ La la la la la la la la la la la 23 00:02:12,148 --> 00:02:13,584 ♪ La la la la 24 00:02:20,156 --> 00:02:21,156 Whoa! 25 00:02:29,265 --> 00:02:30,505 This is the Plaza Hotel, please. 26 00:02:31,301 --> 00:02:33,136 Plaza. Corie, it's the Plaza. 27 00:02:33,169 --> 00:02:35,005 Wait a minute. I'm not finished. 28 00:02:36,106 --> 00:02:37,508 Corie, the man is waiting. Wait. 29 00:02:37,541 --> 00:02:39,275 Give him a big tip. 30 00:02:39,309 --> 00:02:41,978 Paul, tell me you're not sorry we got married. 31 00:02:42,012 --> 00:02:44,023 After 40 minutes? Let's give it a couple of hours first. 32 00:02:44,047 --> 00:02:45,749 Paul? 33 00:02:45,782 --> 00:02:48,284 If the honeymoon doesn't work out, let's not get divorced. 34 00:02:48,318 --> 00:02:50,253 Let's kill each other. 35 00:02:50,286 --> 00:02:51,464 Let's have one of the maids do it. 36 00:02:51,488 --> 00:02:53,690 I hear the service here is wonderful. 37 00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:57,561 Uh... 38 00:03:00,997 --> 00:03:02,433 Uh... (GRUNTS) 39 00:03:06,670 --> 00:03:08,439 Here's... Bye. Thank you. 40 00:03:09,673 --> 00:03:10,741 Come on. 41 00:03:33,163 --> 00:03:34,865 Good afternoon. Yes. Uh... 42 00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:37,901 My hand. I need my hand. 43 00:03:44,274 --> 00:03:46,176 "Mr. Paul Bratter." Yes. 44 00:03:46,209 --> 00:03:47,649 And is Mrs. Bratter staying with you? 45 00:03:49,379 --> 00:03:50,714 My mother? 46 00:03:50,747 --> 00:03:53,617 Uh, oh! Mrs. Bratter, yes. 47 00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:55,819 Mr. and Mrs. Bratter. (RINGING BELL) 48 00:03:55,852 --> 00:03:58,154 How long will you be staying with us, Mr. Bratter? 49 00:03:58,188 --> 00:03:59,289 Six days. 50 00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:00,957 And nights. 51 00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,693 It's a pleasure to have you at The Plaza. 52 00:04:02,726 --> 00:04:03,726 449. 53 00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:22,045 (LAUGHING) Come on... 54 00:04:22,078 --> 00:04:23,647 Corie, let's stop, huh? 55 00:04:27,383 --> 00:04:28,585 This way, please. 56 00:04:28,619 --> 00:04:30,821 Oh, ex...excuse me. Excuse us, please. 57 00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:33,790 Mr. Adams, I hope you realize I'm only 15 years old. 58 00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:37,260 Thanks. Thanks a lot. 59 00:04:37,293 --> 00:04:40,030 Well, they're so stuffy around here. 60 00:04:40,063 --> 00:04:41,440 Is... Is this what life is going to be like 61 00:04:41,464 --> 00:04:43,634 for the next 50 years? 62 00:04:43,667 --> 00:04:46,002 Is that all we're going to be married, 50 years? 63 00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:47,137 That's not very long. 64 00:04:47,170 --> 00:04:50,140 No, wait. Don't make rash judgments. 65 00:04:50,173 --> 00:04:52,509 Paul, I think I'm going to be a lousy wife. 66 00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:54,310 But don't be angry with me. 67 00:04:54,344 --> 00:04:56,346 I love you very much, 68 00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:58,181 and I'm very sexy. 69 00:04:58,214 --> 00:04:59,482 Then let's go inside. 70 00:04:59,516 --> 00:05:01,952 I'm paying $30 a day. 71 00:05:01,985 --> 00:05:04,220 Okay, Paul, let's start the marriage. 72 00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:06,189 Good luck, Paul. 73 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:08,559 Good luck, Corie. 74 00:05:34,985 --> 00:05:36,587 Forget it. They're never coming out. 75 00:05:36,620 --> 00:05:37,487 How long has it been now? 76 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:38,889 Five days. 77 00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:40,891 (WHISTLES) That must be a hotel record. 78 00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:42,525 For a political convention. 79 00:05:42,559 --> 00:05:44,628 A honeymoon record is nine days. 80 00:05:55,706 --> 00:05:58,541 Wait a minute, Paul! Where are you going? 81 00:05:58,575 --> 00:06:00,510 Work. I have to go to work. 82 00:06:00,543 --> 00:06:01,954 I don't do this for a living, you know. 83 00:06:01,978 --> 00:06:03,756 Can't you call them and tell them you can't come in today? 84 00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:05,048 Tell them you're sick. 85 00:06:05,081 --> 00:06:06,583 I am sick, but I have to go in today. 86 00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:08,327 Last night you promised you'd never leave me. 87 00:06:08,351 --> 00:06:11,187 But it's just till 5:30. Just until 5:30. 88 00:06:11,221 --> 00:06:14,157 Corie, if it's a good marriage, it'll last until 5:30. 89 00:06:15,391 --> 00:06:16,893 See you. Tonight, hey? 90 00:06:20,063 --> 00:06:21,397 What was that? 91 00:06:21,431 --> 00:06:22,565 A kiss? 92 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,680 Dear, would you get inside? This is a nice hotel. 93 00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:28,371 Was that a kiss? 94 00:06:28,404 --> 00:06:30,482 'Cause, boy, if that's what kisses are going to be like from now on, 95 00:06:30,506 --> 00:06:32,442 don't bother to come back at 5:30. 96 00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:34,310 Corie, I can't kiss you anymore. 97 00:06:34,344 --> 00:06:36,625 My lips are numb. Now will you (WHISPERS) please go inside? 98 00:06:36,713 --> 00:06:38,915 If you don't give me a real kiss, 99 00:06:40,617 --> 00:06:41,628 I'm going to give you back your pajamas. 100 00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:42,719 Right now. 101 00:06:43,787 --> 00:06:44,997 No, wait... (BRIEFCASE THUDDING) 102 00:06:45,021 --> 00:06:46,189 What? Wait! 103 00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:59,169 Couldn't you make it 4:30? 104 00:06:59,202 --> 00:07:00,904 (CLEARS THROAT) Oh! 105 00:07:00,937 --> 00:07:02,138 Tonight. 106 00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:03,573 At the new apartment. 107 00:07:03,606 --> 00:07:05,375 Okay, it's 49 West 10th street. (SIGHS) 108 00:07:05,408 --> 00:07:06,877 I love you! Yeah. Uh. 109 00:07:18,922 --> 00:07:19,922 Thank you, Mr. Dooley. 110 00:07:22,558 --> 00:07:24,928 Next time you're in New York, just call me up. 111 00:09:52,809 --> 00:09:53,977 (SIGHS) 112 00:10:23,439 --> 00:10:24,607 (SIGHS) 113 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:26,142 (DOORBELL BUZZES) 114 00:10:28,278 --> 00:10:29,445 (BUZZING) 115 00:10:33,183 --> 00:10:34,183 Hello? 116 00:10:35,651 --> 00:10:36,651 Bratter? 117 00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:39,022 Up here, top floor! 118 00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:42,058 Top floor. 119 00:10:42,758 --> 00:10:44,627 Take your time! (ECHOING) 120 00:10:44,660 --> 00:10:45,862 Yeah. 121 00:10:48,564 --> 00:10:49,866 Top floor. 122 00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:51,167 It's always the top floor. 123 00:11:27,637 --> 00:11:28,871 (PANTING) 124 00:11:29,906 --> 00:11:31,942 Whatever happened to elevators? 125 00:11:33,977 --> 00:11:37,113 Let's see. The bed is six feet long 126 00:11:37,147 --> 00:11:39,715 and the room is five-and-a-half feet 127 00:11:39,749 --> 00:11:41,151 and I'm in big trouble. 128 00:11:41,184 --> 00:11:42,285 (PANTING) 129 00:11:55,165 --> 00:11:56,165 (BREATHLESSLY) Teleph... 130 00:11:58,301 --> 00:11:59,502 Hi. Teleph... 131 00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:02,138 Telephone company. 132 00:12:02,172 --> 00:12:03,406 The phone? Yeah. 133 00:12:03,439 --> 00:12:04,907 Oh, great! Come on in. 134 00:12:04,941 --> 00:12:06,209 That's... 135 00:12:06,742 --> 00:12:08,711 That's quite a climb. 136 00:12:08,744 --> 00:12:11,314 Yes. Five flights, if you don't count the front stoop. 137 00:12:11,347 --> 00:12:13,449 Yeah, I counted the front stoop. 138 00:12:14,985 --> 00:12:16,719 Uh, would you like a glass of water? 139 00:12:16,752 --> 00:12:18,921 Please. 140 00:12:18,955 --> 00:12:21,324 I'd offer you soda or a beer or something, 141 00:12:21,357 --> 00:12:22,658 but we don't have anything yet. 142 00:12:22,692 --> 00:12:24,394 A glass of water's fine. 143 00:12:25,461 --> 00:12:26,838 Except we don't have any glasses either. 144 00:12:26,862 --> 00:12:27,998 Oh. 145 00:12:28,798 --> 00:12:30,533 You could, uh... 146 00:12:30,566 --> 00:12:32,366 You could put your head under and just schlurp. 147 00:12:33,036 --> 00:12:35,771 Oh, no, I don't have enough breath to slurp. 148 00:12:35,805 --> 00:12:37,007 Well... 149 00:12:39,642 --> 00:12:40,842 Where would you like the phone? 150 00:12:42,045 --> 00:12:43,379 Gee, uh... 151 00:12:44,547 --> 00:12:45,748 I don't know. 152 00:12:45,781 --> 00:12:47,350 Any suggestions? 153 00:12:47,383 --> 00:12:49,495 Well, it all depends on what you're going to do with the room. 154 00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:51,054 Yeah. 155 00:12:51,087 --> 00:12:53,189 You going to have furniture in here? (CHUCKLES) 156 00:12:54,324 --> 00:12:55,325 Sure. 157 00:12:56,292 --> 00:12:59,862 Listen, you can give me a long extension cord, 158 00:12:59,895 --> 00:13:02,074 and I'll carry it around with me for the first few years. 159 00:13:02,098 --> 00:13:04,300 Good. I'll use the old connection. 160 00:13:06,836 --> 00:13:08,371 Whew! Boy! 161 00:13:10,073 --> 00:13:12,008 You're really going to live up here, huh? 162 00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:13,043 I mean every day. 163 00:13:13,676 --> 00:13:14,744 Every day. 164 00:13:14,777 --> 00:13:17,180 (DOORBELL RINGS) 165 00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:19,515 I hope that's the men with the furniture. 166 00:13:21,617 --> 00:13:22,617 I don't want to see this. 167 00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:25,688 Hello, Bloomingdale's! 168 00:13:26,822 --> 00:13:27,822 Lord & Taylor's. 169 00:13:28,258 --> 00:13:29,625 Oh. 170 00:13:29,659 --> 00:13:31,361 Up here, top floor! 171 00:13:33,296 --> 00:13:34,464 Oh, my God. 172 00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:41,571 It's probably another wedding gift from my mother. 173 00:13:41,604 --> 00:13:43,873 She sends me wedding gifts twice a day. 174 00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:45,341 I hope it's an electric heater. 175 00:13:46,076 --> 00:13:48,178 Is it cold in here? 176 00:13:48,211 --> 00:13:50,380 I can't grip the phone. Maybe the steam is off. 177 00:13:52,014 --> 00:13:53,516 Maybe that's it. 178 00:13:53,549 --> 00:13:55,785 Just turn it on. It'll come right up. 179 00:14:01,524 --> 00:14:02,625 It is on. 180 00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:05,428 It's just not coming up. 181 00:14:05,461 --> 00:14:06,461 Oh. 182 00:14:07,397 --> 00:14:09,165 Your husband have a lot of sweaters? 183 00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:12,868 You know, I prefer it this way. 184 00:14:12,902 --> 00:14:14,846 Yeah, it's a medical fact that steam heat's bad for you. 185 00:14:14,870 --> 00:14:16,406 Yeah? In February? 186 00:14:17,307 --> 00:14:18,408 (PANTING) 187 00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:24,714 Just put them down anywhere. 188 00:14:24,747 --> 00:14:26,116 (WHEEZING) 189 00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:28,684 I know. I know. 190 00:14:30,420 --> 00:14:32,655 Oh, I'm... I'm terribly sorry about the stairs. 191 00:14:33,889 --> 00:14:35,258 (WHEEZING) 192 00:14:38,494 --> 00:14:40,163 I think he wants you to sign it. 193 00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:42,464 Oh. 194 00:14:48,738 --> 00:14:50,273 Oh, wait a minute. 195 00:14:50,773 --> 00:14:51,773 (WHEEZING) 196 00:14:56,579 --> 00:14:58,614 There you are. 197 00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:00,683 Are you going to be all right? 198 00:15:00,716 --> 00:15:01,784 (WHEEZES) 199 00:15:09,925 --> 00:15:12,128 That's a shame, giving a job like that to an old man. 200 00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:13,829 He's probably only 25. 201 00:15:13,863 --> 00:15:15,998 They age fast on this route. 202 00:15:16,031 --> 00:15:17,833 Okay, lady, you're in business. 203 00:15:21,904 --> 00:15:23,306 My own phone. 204 00:15:24,006 --> 00:15:25,175 Hey, can I make a call yet? 205 00:15:25,208 --> 00:15:26,809 Well, your bill started two minutes ago. 206 00:15:26,842 --> 00:15:28,010 Who can I call? 207 00:15:28,043 --> 00:15:29,412 Yeah, I know. 208 00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:32,682 Oh, by the way, my name is Harry Pepper. 209 00:15:32,715 --> 00:15:34,260 If you ever have any trouble with that phone, 210 00:15:34,284 --> 00:15:36,586 do me a favor, don't ask for Harry Pepper. 211 00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:41,257 What's the matter, bad news? 212 00:15:41,291 --> 00:15:44,260 It is going to be cloudy tonight with a light snow. 213 00:15:44,294 --> 00:15:46,894 And just think, you'll be the first one in the city to see it fall. 214 00:16:06,216 --> 00:16:07,883 (POLICE WHISTLE BLOWS) 215 00:16:37,613 --> 00:16:40,216 Hello, is Mr. Paul Bratter there, please? 216 00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:42,117 This is Mrs. Paul Bratter calling. 217 00:16:42,151 --> 00:16:44,454 This is terrific. It works just great. 218 00:16:44,487 --> 00:16:45,807 Yeah, just like a real phone, huh? 219 00:16:47,690 --> 00:16:49,859 Frank, is Paul there? 220 00:16:50,493 --> 00:16:51,861 Hi, Corie. 221 00:16:51,894 --> 00:16:55,097 He left about 20 minutes ago and looked very tired. 222 00:16:55,130 --> 00:16:57,108 Hey, tell him to call me as soon as he gets in, will you? 223 00:16:57,132 --> 00:16:59,812 I've got great news for him if he can stand a little more excitement. 224 00:17:00,135 --> 00:17:01,604 No kidding, Frank. What is it? 225 00:17:01,637 --> 00:17:04,474 (DOORBELL RINGS) 226 00:17:04,507 --> 00:17:08,544 Frank, listen, can you hang on a minute? That... That may be him now. 227 00:17:08,578 --> 00:17:11,547 Oh! I didn't want him to come till after the furniture had arrived. 228 00:17:14,750 --> 00:17:15,750 Paul? 229 00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:18,688 Corie? Where are you? 230 00:17:19,021 --> 00:17:20,222 Paul? 231 00:17:20,690 --> 00:17:21,791 Up here! 232 00:17:25,027 --> 00:17:26,027 Oh. 233 00:17:38,541 --> 00:17:40,710 Paul, up here, top floor! 234 00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:43,012 (PANTING) 235 00:17:45,781 --> 00:17:46,982 Oh, it's him! 236 00:17:51,287 --> 00:17:52,564 How long did you say you were married? 237 00:17:52,588 --> 00:17:53,656 Six days. 238 00:17:55,858 --> 00:17:58,461 He won't notice the place is empty till June. 239 00:17:58,494 --> 00:18:01,864 So long, Gramercy 59971. Have a nice marriage. 240 00:18:01,897 --> 00:18:03,132 Oh. Thank you. 241 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,468 And may you soon have many extensions. 242 00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:10,239 Frank, he's on his way up. 243 00:18:10,272 --> 00:18:12,007 Can you hang on for five more flights? 244 00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:13,842 Paul? 245 00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:16,379 Hurry up, darling! 246 00:18:18,247 --> 00:18:20,516 Now, don't expect too much, 247 00:18:21,617 --> 00:18:24,887 'cause the furniture hasn't gotten here yet! 248 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:28,023 And, Paul, the paint didn't turn out exactly right, 249 00:18:29,459 --> 00:18:31,794 but I think it's going to be beautiful! 250 00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:35,864 Paul? 251 00:18:37,166 --> 00:18:39,335 Paul, are you all right? 252 00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:41,003 (PANTING) I'm coming. I'm coming. 253 00:18:41,036 --> 00:18:42,372 What? 254 00:18:42,405 --> 00:18:44,039 He's coming. He's coming. 255 00:18:50,012 --> 00:18:51,714 He's coming. He's coming. 256 00:19:08,163 --> 00:19:09,465 (GRUNTS) 257 00:19:10,833 --> 00:19:12,101 Hi, sweetheart! 258 00:19:12,134 --> 00:19:13,403 (PANTING) 259 00:19:14,003 --> 00:19:15,003 Oh, darling! 260 00:19:16,739 --> 00:19:18,340 (GASPING) (MOANS) 261 00:19:20,543 --> 00:19:22,545 Oh! Say something. 262 00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:25,848 (GASPING) It's six... It's six flights. Did you... 263 00:19:28,884 --> 00:19:30,620 Did you know it's six flights? 264 00:19:30,653 --> 00:19:32,688 Well, it isn't. It's only five. 265 00:19:33,322 --> 00:19:34,424 What about that big thing 266 00:19:34,457 --> 00:19:36,492 hanging outside the building? 267 00:19:36,526 --> 00:19:38,628 That's not a flight. It's a stoop. 268 00:19:39,462 --> 00:19:41,163 It may look like a stoop. 269 00:19:41,196 --> 00:19:42,832 But it climbs like a flight. 270 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,902 Is that all you have to say? 271 00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:48,904 I didn't think I'd get that much out. 272 00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:49,938 Oh. 273 00:19:52,174 --> 00:19:53,643 But it didn't... 274 00:19:54,777 --> 00:19:56,546 It didn't seem like six flights 275 00:19:56,579 --> 00:19:57,480 when I first saw the apartment. 276 00:19:57,513 --> 00:19:59,815 Why... Why is that? 277 00:19:59,849 --> 00:20:01,383 You didn't see this apartment, Paul. 278 00:20:01,417 --> 00:20:03,453 Don't you remember? The woman wasn't home. 279 00:20:03,486 --> 00:20:05,855 You... You saw the apartment on the third floor. 280 00:20:05,888 --> 00:20:07,022 Then that's why. 281 00:20:07,056 --> 00:20:08,524 You don't like it! No, I... 282 00:20:08,558 --> 00:20:11,126 Boy, you really don't like it! I do like it, dear. 283 00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:12,838 I'm just waiting for my eyes to clear first. 284 00:20:12,862 --> 00:20:15,631 I... I thought you were gonna come in here and say, "Wow!" 285 00:20:15,665 --> 00:20:17,132 I will. 286 00:20:17,166 --> 00:20:18,634 I will. I'm just... 287 00:20:19,769 --> 00:20:20,769 Yes. 288 00:20:35,184 --> 00:20:36,184 Wow. 289 00:20:37,352 --> 00:20:39,421 Paul, it's going to be beautiful! 290 00:20:40,289 --> 00:20:41,691 I promise you! 291 00:20:44,460 --> 00:20:46,061 Do you know what? What? 292 00:20:46,095 --> 00:20:48,397 I missed you. Did you really? 293 00:20:48,430 --> 00:20:49,808 In the middle of the Monday morning conference, 294 00:20:49,832 --> 00:20:51,967 I, you know... I began to... 295 00:20:56,205 --> 00:20:57,673 Let's go back to The Plaza. What? 296 00:20:57,707 --> 00:20:59,441 Oh, we still have an hour till checkout time. 297 00:20:59,475 --> 00:21:00,976 We can't. Why? 298 00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:03,713 We stole a towel and three ashtrays. We're hot. 299 00:21:16,158 --> 00:21:19,028 You know, for... For a lawyer, you're some good kisser. 300 00:21:20,329 --> 00:21:21,531 Hey! 301 00:21:22,297 --> 00:21:23,666 What? 302 00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:25,768 For a kisser, I'm some good lawyer. 303 00:21:25,801 --> 00:21:27,603 Something's happened. Mmm-hmm. 304 00:21:27,637 --> 00:21:30,405 Something has happened, Paul! Well, tell me what? 305 00:21:30,439 --> 00:21:32,942 It's not positive, but the office is gonna call and let me know. 306 00:21:32,975 --> 00:21:35,277 They called. I mean, I called. 307 00:21:35,310 --> 00:21:36,612 When? Now. 308 00:21:36,646 --> 00:21:38,781 Where? Where? Over there. Over there. 309 00:21:38,814 --> 00:21:40,425 Right over there. They're on the phone, right now. 310 00:21:40,449 --> 00:21:42,552 You didn't tell me, Corie. I forgot. 311 00:21:42,585 --> 00:21:44,186 You kissed me and got me all crazy. 312 00:21:44,219 --> 00:21:46,522 Frank. Yes, Frank. Tell... 313 00:21:49,925 --> 00:21:52,494 That's very funny, Frank. 314 00:21:52,528 --> 00:21:54,830 For a lawyer, I'm some good kisser. 315 00:21:54,864 --> 00:21:56,808 Listen. Paul, I'd love to listen for the rest of the night, 316 00:21:56,832 --> 00:21:58,934 but I've got work to do, and you do, too. 317 00:21:58,968 --> 00:22:00,448 You've a got a case in court tomorrow. 318 00:22:02,137 --> 00:22:04,006 Frank, are you kidding? 319 00:22:04,039 --> 00:22:06,208 Do you mean this? The whole thing? 320 00:22:06,776 --> 00:22:08,611 Birnbaum versus Gump. 321 00:22:08,644 --> 00:22:10,155 Marshall just came in and dumped the whole case 322 00:22:10,179 --> 00:22:12,514 in our eager, and inexperienced little hands. 323 00:22:12,548 --> 00:22:16,051 This is it, Paul. This is our chance to get the key to the executive washroom. 324 00:22:16,085 --> 00:22:17,853 Well, we're a cinch. Listen, Frank, 325 00:22:17,887 --> 00:22:20,289 I'll go over the briefs here tonight. 326 00:22:20,322 --> 00:22:21,967 And I'll meet you at the office, say, 8:00 in the morning. 327 00:22:21,991 --> 00:22:23,626 We'll go over everything together. 328 00:22:23,659 --> 00:22:26,596 Yes... Frank, you think I have time to grow a mustache? 329 00:22:27,797 --> 00:22:31,200 Did you hear? Did you hear? It's my first case! 330 00:22:31,233 --> 00:22:32,602 I'm going to be a lawyer! 331 00:22:32,635 --> 00:22:34,236 That's great, Paul. 332 00:22:39,675 --> 00:22:40,819 You're going to have to work tonight? 333 00:22:40,843 --> 00:22:42,353 Yeah. I'm going to go over the affidavits. 334 00:22:42,377 --> 00:22:44,546 This furrier's suing a woman for nonpayment of bills. 335 00:22:44,580 --> 00:22:45,881 I've got the furrier. 336 00:22:45,915 --> 00:22:47,282 I have a black lace nightgown. 337 00:22:47,316 --> 00:22:48,994 It seems he made these four specially tailored coats 338 00:22:49,018 --> 00:22:50,886 for this woman on Park Avenue. 339 00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:53,122 Now she doesn't want the coats. 340 00:22:53,155 --> 00:22:55,891 She's only 4'8". He'd have to sell them to a rich midget. 341 00:22:55,925 --> 00:22:57,893 You know, I thought I'd... I'd put on a record 342 00:22:57,927 --> 00:23:00,062 and do an original Cambodian fertility dance. 343 00:23:00,095 --> 00:23:01,396 It's... 344 00:23:01,430 --> 00:23:03,032 There's no signed contract. 345 00:23:03,065 --> 00:23:05,868 What's happening here? What is this? What are you doing? 346 00:23:05,901 --> 00:23:07,545 I'm trying to get you all hot and bothered, 347 00:23:07,569 --> 00:23:09,805 and you're...summing up for the jury! 348 00:23:10,973 --> 00:23:12,307 I mean, the whole marriage is over. 349 00:23:12,341 --> 00:23:14,009 Corie, honey, I'm sorry. 350 00:23:14,877 --> 00:23:16,712 I guess I'm excited, that's all. 351 00:23:16,746 --> 00:23:18,489 You want me to be rich and famous, now, don't you, really? 352 00:23:18,513 --> 00:23:19,982 During the day. 353 00:23:20,015 --> 00:23:21,416 At night I want you here and sexy. 354 00:23:21,450 --> 00:23:23,819 Oh, I will. 355 00:23:23,853 --> 00:23:25,764 Look, I tell you what, now tomorrow night, your night. 356 00:23:25,788 --> 00:23:27,232 We'll do whatever you like, all right? 357 00:23:27,256 --> 00:23:29,124 Something wild, and crazy, and insane? 358 00:23:29,158 --> 00:23:30,592 Fine. Like what? 359 00:23:31,293 --> 00:23:32,394 I... I'll come home early. 360 00:23:32,427 --> 00:23:33,929 We'll wallpaper each other. 361 00:23:33,963 --> 00:23:35,931 But tonight, dear, I've got to work. 362 00:23:35,965 --> 00:23:37,166 Please, okay? 363 00:23:37,900 --> 00:23:39,334 Okay? Okay. Okay. 364 00:23:40,435 --> 00:23:42,705 So where do I sit? 365 00:23:42,738 --> 00:23:44,582 Oh, the furniture will be here in a minute, Paul. 366 00:23:44,606 --> 00:23:45,784 They probably got stuck in the traffic. 367 00:23:45,808 --> 00:23:46,942 Fine, but what about tonight? 368 00:23:46,976 --> 00:23:48,978 I've got a case in court in the morning. 369 00:23:49,011 --> 00:23:51,681 Maybe we ought to check into a hotel. 370 00:23:51,714 --> 00:23:55,017 Paul, we just checked out of a hotel! (SIGHS) 371 00:23:55,050 --> 00:23:56,561 I'm gonna sleep in my own apartment tonight. 372 00:23:56,585 --> 00:23:58,988 Where, dear, where? 373 00:23:59,021 --> 00:24:01,356 There's only room for one in the bathtub. 374 00:24:08,263 --> 00:24:09,431 Where's the bathtub? 375 00:24:09,464 --> 00:24:11,633 There's no bathtub. There's a shower. No bathtub. 376 00:24:11,667 --> 00:24:13,068 How am I going to take a bath? 377 00:24:13,102 --> 00:24:14,646 You're not gonna take a bath. You'll take a shower. 378 00:24:14,670 --> 00:24:16,081 I don't like showers, Corie. I like baths. 379 00:24:16,105 --> 00:24:18,373 How am I gonna take a bath? 380 00:24:18,407 --> 00:24:21,176 You lie down in the shower and hang your feet over the sink. 381 00:24:21,210 --> 00:24:22,244 (SCOFFS) 382 00:24:24,146 --> 00:24:26,281 You know, it's freezing in here. 383 00:24:26,315 --> 00:24:27,917 Isn't there any heat? Hmm? 384 00:24:27,950 --> 00:24:30,019 Of course. There's a radiator. 385 00:24:39,594 --> 00:24:42,531 That's... The radiator's the coldest thing in the room. 386 00:24:42,564 --> 00:24:44,099 Does the building have a janitor? 387 00:24:44,133 --> 00:24:46,001 Only Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 388 00:24:48,370 --> 00:24:51,106 Oh, Paul, it's going to warm up a lot when the furniture gets here. 389 00:24:51,140 --> 00:24:53,719 What about tonight, Corie? I've got a case in court in the morning. 390 00:24:53,743 --> 00:24:55,903 Well, stop saying it like you have a case every morning! 391 00:24:56,378 --> 00:24:57,980 This is your first one. 392 00:24:58,013 --> 00:24:59,214 Well, how... 393 00:25:04,586 --> 00:25:06,021 What are you doing? 394 00:25:06,055 --> 00:25:08,223 I'm trying to see if these windows are closed. 395 00:25:08,257 --> 00:25:10,225 They're closed and bolted. Why is it windy in here? 396 00:25:10,259 --> 00:25:11,560 I don't feel a draft. 397 00:25:11,593 --> 00:25:13,462 No, I didn't say draft, I said wind. 398 00:25:13,495 --> 00:25:15,606 There's a brisk northeasterly wind blowing in this room. 399 00:25:15,630 --> 00:25:17,132 You don't have to get sarcastic. 400 00:25:17,166 --> 00:25:19,769 I'm not getting sarcastic. I'm getting chapped lips. 401 00:25:19,802 --> 00:25:21,904 How can there be wind in a closed room? A-ha! 402 00:25:23,005 --> 00:25:24,173 How's this for an answer? 403 00:25:24,206 --> 00:25:25,908 There's a hole in the skylight. 404 00:25:28,443 --> 00:25:29,711 Oh, Paul. 405 00:25:31,446 --> 00:25:33,182 Paul, don't get excited. 406 00:25:33,215 --> 00:25:35,017 Listen, we'll plug it up for tonight. 407 00:25:35,050 --> 00:25:37,652 How? How? That's 20 feet high! 408 00:25:37,686 --> 00:25:40,122 I should have to fly over in a plane and drop something in. 409 00:25:40,155 --> 00:25:42,035 It's only for one night. And it's not that cold. 410 00:25:42,591 --> 00:25:44,126 In February? 411 00:25:44,159 --> 00:25:45,804 Do you know what it's like in February at 3:00 in the morning? 412 00:25:45,828 --> 00:25:47,662 It's ice-cold freezing. 413 00:25:47,696 --> 00:25:49,407 It's not going to be freezing. I called the weather bureau. 414 00:25:49,431 --> 00:25:51,801 It's going to be cloudy with a light snow... 415 00:25:57,406 --> 00:25:58,673 What? What? What? 416 00:25:58,707 --> 00:26:00,109 Light what? Snow. 417 00:26:01,176 --> 00:26:02,176 Snow? 418 00:26:03,045 --> 00:26:05,080 It's going to snow tonight? Hmm? 419 00:26:05,547 --> 00:26:07,082 In here? 420 00:26:07,116 --> 00:26:08,894 They're wrong as often as they're right. Right. (CHUCKLES) 421 00:26:08,918 --> 00:26:12,054 I see, I'm going to be shoveling snow in my own living room. 422 00:26:12,087 --> 00:26:15,390 Well, in the first place, Paul, it's just a little hole. 423 00:26:15,424 --> 00:26:17,102 And in the second place, what do you want me to do? 424 00:26:17,126 --> 00:26:18,994 Go to pieces! Like me. 425 00:26:19,761 --> 00:26:21,163 It's natural. 426 00:26:21,196 --> 00:26:22,397 Paul. Hmm? 427 00:26:23,532 --> 00:26:25,134 I have a better idea. 428 00:26:30,039 --> 00:26:32,607 I'm going to keep you warm. Hmm? 429 00:26:32,641 --> 00:26:34,376 And there's no charge for electricity. 430 00:26:34,409 --> 00:26:35,409 All right. 431 00:26:41,316 --> 00:26:42,852 Corie, I can't do this. 432 00:26:52,995 --> 00:26:54,596 Do you think Corie'd be upset 433 00:26:54,629 --> 00:26:56,598 if I just popped up and said hello? 434 00:26:56,631 --> 00:26:58,433 Upset with her own mother? Why? 435 00:26:59,068 --> 00:27:00,735 I do it all the time. 436 00:27:00,769 --> 00:27:02,247 But the children are hardly set up yet. 437 00:27:02,271 --> 00:27:04,273 They're still practically on their honeymoon. 438 00:27:04,306 --> 00:27:07,309 Oh, she's probably dying for your advice. You know young brides. 439 00:27:07,342 --> 00:27:09,544 Not Corie. She gives her own advice. 440 00:27:10,779 --> 00:27:12,381 All right, let's go home. 441 00:27:12,414 --> 00:27:14,183 I'll just be 10 minutes. 442 00:27:14,216 --> 00:27:16,018 Uh, no longer. I'll be circling the block. 443 00:27:26,461 --> 00:27:29,598 I can see I haven't got much of a law career ahead of me. 444 00:27:29,631 --> 00:27:31,600 Good. I hope we starve. 445 00:27:32,935 --> 00:27:35,470 I hope they find us dead in each other's arms. 446 00:27:35,504 --> 00:27:38,173 "Frozen skinny lovers found on 10th Street." 447 00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:46,581 Then we are in love again? 448 00:27:46,615 --> 00:27:47,615 Yes, we're in love again. 449 00:27:50,719 --> 00:27:52,187 (DOORBELL RINGS) 450 00:27:52,787 --> 00:27:54,223 It's the bed. 451 00:27:55,390 --> 00:27:56,892 (WHISPERS) It's the bed. Yes. 452 00:28:02,064 --> 00:28:03,198 I hope it's the bed. 453 00:28:04,967 --> 00:28:06,068 Bloomingdale's? 454 00:28:06,801 --> 00:28:08,904 Surprise! 455 00:28:08,938 --> 00:28:10,705 Oh, no. She couldn't wait. What? 456 00:28:10,739 --> 00:28:12,841 Your mother? I invited her for Tuesday. 457 00:28:12,874 --> 00:28:14,252 Corie, I can't entertain your mother now. 458 00:28:14,276 --> 00:28:15,836 I've got a case in court in the morning. 459 00:28:21,850 --> 00:28:23,552 She's gonna hate it. 460 00:28:23,585 --> 00:28:26,488 She's going to think we're gypsies living in an empty store. 461 00:28:26,521 --> 00:28:28,866 I don't get you, Corie. Five minutes ago, this place was paradise. 462 00:28:28,890 --> 00:28:31,126 Now suddenly, it's Cannery Row. 463 00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:32,827 She doesn't understand, Paul. 464 00:28:32,861 --> 00:28:34,229 She has a different set of values. 465 00:28:34,263 --> 00:28:36,265 She's practical, not young like us. 466 00:28:36,298 --> 00:28:38,333 Well, I'm 26 and cold as hell. 467 00:28:38,934 --> 00:28:40,235 (PANTING) 468 00:28:41,436 --> 00:28:42,537 (CLANGING) 469 00:28:49,644 --> 00:28:50,946 Oh, sorry. 470 00:28:57,586 --> 00:28:59,754 Paul. I want you to promise me one thing. What? 471 00:28:59,788 --> 00:29:01,623 Don't tell her about the rent. All right. 472 00:29:01,656 --> 00:29:03,725 If she asks you, tell her you're not sure yet. 473 00:29:03,758 --> 00:29:05,227 "Not sure yet"? 474 00:29:05,260 --> 00:29:07,596 I have to know what my rent is. I'm a college graduate. 475 00:29:07,629 --> 00:29:09,198 Can't you lie a little for me? 476 00:29:09,231 --> 00:29:11,266 I mean, you don't have to tell her it's $125. 477 00:29:11,300 --> 00:29:13,002 Well, all right. How much is it, then? 478 00:29:13,035 --> 00:29:14,436 $60. (STUTTERS) 479 00:29:14,469 --> 00:29:16,038 $65. What? 480 00:29:16,071 --> 00:29:18,073 $75, all right? 481 00:29:18,107 --> 00:29:20,375 $75.63 a month. All right, Corie. 482 00:29:20,409 --> 00:29:22,377 Including gas and electricity. Yes. 483 00:29:22,411 --> 00:29:23,678 Paul, will she believe that? 484 00:29:23,712 --> 00:29:25,114 Anybody would believe that. 485 00:29:25,147 --> 00:29:26,848 It's the $125 that's hard to swallow. 486 00:29:26,881 --> 00:29:28,283 (PHONE RINGS) 487 00:29:32,554 --> 00:29:33,688 Yes? Hello. 488 00:29:34,656 --> 00:29:35,991 Yes, it is. 489 00:29:37,392 --> 00:29:38,460 You what? 490 00:29:39,861 --> 00:29:41,830 Thank you. Thank you very much for calling. 491 00:29:41,863 --> 00:29:43,265 That's fine. That's just great. 492 00:29:43,298 --> 00:29:44,933 The furniture's not coming till tomorrow. 493 00:29:44,966 --> 00:29:47,145 But they're sending up a mattress and some blankets for tonight. 494 00:29:47,169 --> 00:29:49,038 Won't that be cozy? It'll be all right, Paul. 495 00:29:49,071 --> 00:29:50,972 Just please promise me one thing, 496 00:29:51,006 --> 00:29:52,517 don't let her stay here too long because I've got... 497 00:29:52,541 --> 00:29:55,177 A case in court in the morning. I know. 498 00:29:55,210 --> 00:29:57,046 (PANTING) Hello, Mother. 499 00:29:57,846 --> 00:30:00,215 Hello, Mom. I can't breathe. 500 00:30:00,249 --> 00:30:02,417 Take it easy, Mother. I can't catch my breath. 501 00:30:02,451 --> 00:30:03,918 You should have rested, Mom. 502 00:30:03,952 --> 00:30:06,555 I did, but there were always more stairs. 503 00:30:06,588 --> 00:30:07,856 Oh, Paul, help her. 504 00:30:07,889 --> 00:30:08,990 Here, watch this step. 505 00:30:09,024 --> 00:30:10,459 Oh, more stairs? 506 00:30:13,562 --> 00:30:15,073 Mother, would you like a glass of water? 507 00:30:15,097 --> 00:30:17,866 No, thank you, dear. I can't swallow yet. 508 00:30:17,899 --> 00:30:19,468 Here, sit down, Mom. Oh, my! 509 00:30:22,637 --> 00:30:24,173 It's not that high, Mother. 510 00:30:24,206 --> 00:30:26,475 I know dear, it's not bad, really. 511 00:30:26,508 --> 00:30:28,643 What is it, nine flights? 512 00:30:28,677 --> 00:30:30,279 It's five. We don't count the front stoop. 513 00:30:30,312 --> 00:30:32,447 I didn't think I'd make it. 514 00:30:32,481 --> 00:30:33,924 If I had known the people on the third floor, 515 00:30:33,948 --> 00:30:35,717 I'd have gone to visit them. 516 00:30:37,052 --> 00:30:39,588 Oh, gee, Mother, what a pleasant surprise. 517 00:30:39,621 --> 00:30:41,290 I'm not staying. 518 00:30:41,323 --> 00:30:43,592 Aunt Harriet's honking the horn for me in 10 minutes. 519 00:30:43,625 --> 00:30:46,661 Just one good look around, that's all. 520 00:30:46,695 --> 00:30:49,131 I'm not sure I'm coming back. 521 00:30:49,164 --> 00:30:51,266 You can't tell anything yet. 522 00:30:51,300 --> 00:30:53,502 I... I wish you'd arrived after the furniture had come. 523 00:30:53,535 --> 00:30:56,238 Don't worry. I have a marvelous imagination. 524 00:31:01,543 --> 00:31:02,543 Hmm. 525 00:31:03,912 --> 00:31:05,046 Well? 526 00:31:06,981 --> 00:31:08,517 Corie, baby, it's beautiful. 527 00:31:08,883 --> 00:31:09,883 You hate it. 528 00:31:10,685 --> 00:31:13,622 No, no, I love it. It's a charming apartment. 529 00:31:14,389 --> 00:31:15,957 I love it. 530 00:31:15,990 --> 00:31:18,369 Oh, it's not your kind of apartment. I knew you wouldn't like it! 531 00:31:18,393 --> 00:31:19,894 I love it! 532 00:31:19,928 --> 00:31:21,796 Paul, didn't I say I loved it? 533 00:31:21,830 --> 00:31:23,998 She said she loved it. I knew I said it. 534 00:31:24,032 --> 00:31:25,334 Oh, do you really, Mother? 535 00:31:25,367 --> 00:31:27,836 I mean, are... Are you absolutely crazy in love with it? 536 00:31:27,869 --> 00:31:30,071 Yes. It's very cute. 537 00:31:30,105 --> 00:31:32,341 And there's so much you can do with it. 538 00:31:32,374 --> 00:31:34,343 I told you she hated it. 539 00:31:34,376 --> 00:31:36,411 Corie, you don't give a person a chance. (SIGHS) 540 00:31:36,445 --> 00:31:38,513 At least let me see the whole apartment. 541 00:31:38,547 --> 00:31:39,748 This is the whole apartment. 542 00:31:39,781 --> 00:31:40,982 It's a nice, large room. 543 00:31:41,015 --> 00:31:42,784 There's a bedroom! Where? 544 00:31:42,817 --> 00:31:44,319 One flight up. 545 00:31:44,353 --> 00:31:47,856 It's just two little steps. See, one, two...three. 546 00:31:47,889 --> 00:31:49,424 Oh, split level. 547 00:31:51,260 --> 00:31:53,995 Where's the bedroom? Through here? 548 00:31:54,028 --> 00:31:56,898 No, in here. This is the bedroom. 549 00:31:56,931 --> 00:31:58,209 No, it's really just a dressing room, 550 00:31:58,233 --> 00:31:59,577 but I'm going to use it as a bedroom. 551 00:31:59,601 --> 00:32:01,069 Oh, that's a wonderful idea. 552 00:32:01,102 --> 00:32:02,937 And you can just put a bed in here. 553 00:32:02,971 --> 00:32:05,140 That's right. How? 554 00:32:05,174 --> 00:32:06,617 Oh, it'll fit. I... I measured the room. 555 00:32:06,641 --> 00:32:08,377 A double bed? 556 00:32:08,410 --> 00:32:10,912 No, a large single. Oh. Very nice. 557 00:32:10,945 --> 00:32:12,614 Where will Paul sleep? 558 00:32:13,248 --> 00:32:14,849 With me. Large single? 559 00:32:16,185 --> 00:32:18,119 But you won't be able to get to the closet. 560 00:32:18,153 --> 00:32:19,454 Yes, you will. 561 00:32:19,488 --> 00:32:21,523 Without climbing over the bed? 562 00:32:21,556 --> 00:32:22,933 Well, you have to climb over the bed. 563 00:32:22,957 --> 00:32:24,826 Oh! That's a good idea. 564 00:32:26,361 --> 00:32:28,797 And you can just hang your clothes from the pipe. 565 00:32:28,830 --> 00:32:30,232 That's right. 566 00:32:32,401 --> 00:32:34,803 I mean, everything is just temporary, Mother. 567 00:32:34,836 --> 00:32:36,347 What is it they say in Harper's Bazaar? 568 00:32:36,371 --> 00:32:37,806 "It won't take shape 569 00:32:37,839 --> 00:32:40,909 "until the bride's own personality becomes clearly defined." 570 00:32:40,942 --> 00:32:43,345 I don't know. I think it's you right now. 571 00:32:44,513 --> 00:32:45,780 What's in here? 572 00:32:47,982 --> 00:32:49,684 Oh, the bathroom. 573 00:32:52,053 --> 00:32:53,422 No bathtub. 574 00:32:54,789 --> 00:32:56,358 This is the kitchen! 575 00:32:57,125 --> 00:32:58,493 It's very cozy. 576 00:32:59,794 --> 00:33:02,597 It's chilly in here. Do you feel a draft? 577 00:33:02,631 --> 00:33:04,466 Here, stand over here, Mom. It's warmer. 578 00:33:04,499 --> 00:33:06,235 Mother, what you need is a drink. 579 00:33:06,268 --> 00:33:08,179 Hey, Paul, would you run down and get a bottle of scotch? 580 00:33:08,203 --> 00:33:09,538 Now? Yeah. 581 00:33:09,571 --> 00:33:12,341 Well, you certainly have lots of wall space. 582 00:33:12,374 --> 00:33:13,814 What color are you going to paint it? 583 00:33:13,975 --> 00:33:14,975 It's painted. 584 00:33:15,877 --> 00:33:17,379 Very attractive. 585 00:33:18,780 --> 00:33:19,780 Oh. 586 00:33:20,849 --> 00:33:22,551 I've got to go. 587 00:33:22,584 --> 00:33:24,553 No, Mother. Not until you have a drink. 588 00:33:24,586 --> 00:33:25,596 Paul, aren't you going to get the scotch? 589 00:33:25,620 --> 00:33:27,222 I'll stay for just one drink. 590 00:33:27,256 --> 00:33:28,490 Sure. And I'll get the Scotch. 591 00:33:28,523 --> 00:33:30,301 Button up, dear. It's cold. Yes, I've noticed that. 592 00:33:30,325 --> 00:33:31,660 Get some cheese. Cheese? 593 00:33:31,693 --> 00:33:32,693 Paul! 594 00:33:35,163 --> 00:33:36,698 I just want to give my fella a kiss 595 00:33:36,731 --> 00:33:38,199 and wish him luck. Thanks, Mom. 596 00:33:38,233 --> 00:33:40,535 Your new home is beautiful. Yes. 597 00:33:40,569 --> 00:33:42,671 It's a perfect little apartment. It is, thank you. 598 00:33:42,704 --> 00:33:44,072 Then you do like it? 599 00:33:44,105 --> 00:33:45,440 Like it? Why? 600 00:33:45,474 --> 00:33:46,684 Where else can you get anything like this 601 00:33:46,708 --> 00:33:48,477 for 75.63 a month? 602 00:33:48,510 --> 00:33:50,078 Are you sure, Paul? 603 00:33:50,111 --> 00:33:51,913 Six flights of stairs again. 604 00:33:53,181 --> 00:33:54,783 It's the only way to travel. 605 00:33:58,152 --> 00:33:59,521 Well... 606 00:33:59,554 --> 00:34:02,324 Corie, baby, I'm so excited for you. 607 00:34:02,357 --> 00:34:03,592 Mmm-hmm. (SIGHS) 608 00:34:05,827 --> 00:34:07,438 Mother, it's not exactly the way you pictured, is it? 609 00:34:07,462 --> 00:34:09,764 Well, it's unusual. 610 00:34:10,699 --> 00:34:12,801 Like you. 611 00:34:12,834 --> 00:34:14,336 I remember when you were a little girl, 612 00:34:14,369 --> 00:34:17,205 you said you wanted to live on the moon. 613 00:34:17,238 --> 00:34:18,973 I thought you were joking. 614 00:34:19,808 --> 00:34:21,276 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 615 00:34:25,914 --> 00:34:27,716 Well, drunk again, huh? 616 00:34:28,650 --> 00:34:30,585 Okay, I'll take care of him. 617 00:34:39,794 --> 00:34:41,863 I know what let's do. (CLEARS THROAT) 618 00:34:41,896 --> 00:34:43,798 Let's open my presents and see what you sent me. 619 00:34:43,832 --> 00:34:44,933 (SIGHS) 620 00:34:48,670 --> 00:34:50,104 Hey. 621 00:34:50,138 --> 00:34:52,874 What's in here? That sounds expensive. 622 00:34:52,907 --> 00:34:54,943 Now I think it's a broken clock. 623 00:35:03,117 --> 00:35:04,486 Ah! 624 00:35:04,519 --> 00:35:06,755 Aunt Harriet helped me pick it out. 625 00:35:08,557 --> 00:35:11,159 She thinks I should move into New York City now. 626 00:35:11,192 --> 00:35:13,127 Hey, that's an idea. 627 00:35:13,161 --> 00:35:15,296 I said, "Why, Harriet? Just because I'm alone?" 628 00:35:15,330 --> 00:35:18,633 I said, "I'm not afraid to live alone." 629 00:35:18,667 --> 00:35:21,536 "In some ways, it's better to live alone," I said. 630 00:35:23,805 --> 00:35:25,306 Does this pot come with directions? 631 00:35:25,340 --> 00:35:26,708 If I had known about this kitchen, 632 00:35:26,741 --> 00:35:28,101 it would have come with hot coffee. 633 00:35:30,612 --> 00:35:33,348 Mother. Oh, I love everything. 634 00:35:35,950 --> 00:35:39,020 You've got to stop sending me presents. 635 00:35:39,053 --> 00:35:40,965 You know, you should start spending your money on yourself. 636 00:35:40,989 --> 00:35:42,457 Well, myself? 637 00:35:43,858 --> 00:35:45,536 What does a woman like me need, living all alone, 638 00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:47,462 way out in New Jersey? 639 00:35:47,496 --> 00:35:48,730 You could travel. 640 00:35:48,763 --> 00:35:49,864 Oh, travel. 641 00:35:51,500 --> 00:35:54,068 Alone? At my age? 642 00:35:56,270 --> 00:35:58,206 I read a story in The Times. 643 00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:00,108 A middle-aged woman traveling alone, 644 00:36:00,141 --> 00:36:02,677 fell off the deck of a ship. 645 00:36:02,711 --> 00:36:05,580 They never discovered it till they got to France. 646 00:36:08,249 --> 00:36:10,218 Mother... 647 00:36:10,251 --> 00:36:12,363 I promise you, if you ever fell off the deck of a ship, 648 00:36:12,387 --> 00:36:14,423 somebody would know about it. 649 00:36:15,824 --> 00:36:17,424 Do you know what I think you really need? 650 00:36:18,059 --> 00:36:19,761 Yes. I don't want to hear it. 651 00:36:19,794 --> 00:36:21,305 Yes, 'cause you're afraid to hear the truth. 652 00:36:21,329 --> 00:36:22,673 It's not the truth I'm afraid to hear. 653 00:36:22,697 --> 00:36:24,165 It's the word you're going to use. 654 00:36:24,198 --> 00:36:26,901 You're darn right I'm going to use it, it's love. Oh. 655 00:36:26,935 --> 00:36:29,471 A week ago, I didn't even know what it meant. 656 00:36:29,504 --> 00:36:32,607 And then I checked into to the Plaza Hotel for six wonderful days. 657 00:36:32,641 --> 00:36:33,784 And you know what happened to me there? 658 00:36:33,808 --> 00:36:35,810 I promised myself I wouldn't ask. 659 00:36:35,844 --> 00:36:37,278 I found love. 660 00:36:37,311 --> 00:36:39,781 Spiritual, physical, and emotional love. 661 00:36:39,814 --> 00:36:41,559 And I don't think anyone on Earth should be without it. 662 00:36:41,583 --> 00:36:44,152 I'm not, darling. I have you. 663 00:36:44,185 --> 00:36:45,996 I'm not talking about that kind of love, Mother. 664 00:36:46,020 --> 00:36:47,598 I mean... I know what you're talking about. 665 00:36:47,622 --> 00:36:48,923 And you don't want to discuss it? 666 00:36:48,957 --> 00:36:50,425 Not with you in the room. (SIGHS) 667 00:36:51,292 --> 00:36:52,594 (HONKS) 668 00:36:53,662 --> 00:36:55,564 That must be Aunt Harriet. 669 00:36:57,966 --> 00:36:58,966 I've got to go. 670 00:36:59,133 --> 00:37:00,368 Some visit. 671 00:37:00,401 --> 00:37:01,903 Just a sneak preview. 672 00:37:01,936 --> 00:37:05,774 I'll see you both on Tuesday for the world premiere. 673 00:37:05,807 --> 00:37:08,209 Oh. You shouldn't have run just for me. 674 00:37:08,242 --> 00:37:09,611 Goodbye, love. 675 00:37:09,644 --> 00:37:11,446 I love your new apartment. 676 00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:13,482 I'll see you both on Tuesday. 677 00:37:15,183 --> 00:37:16,485 Geronimo! 678 00:37:29,564 --> 00:37:30,565 Paul, what's the matter? 679 00:37:33,602 --> 00:37:34,803 I just had an interesting talk 680 00:37:34,836 --> 00:37:37,171 with the man down in the liquor store. 681 00:37:37,205 --> 00:37:39,584 Do you know that we have some of the greatest weirdos in the country 682 00:37:39,608 --> 00:37:40,509 living right here in this building? 683 00:37:40,542 --> 00:37:42,410 No kidding! Like who? 684 00:37:42,443 --> 00:37:44,846 Well, like, to begin with, in apartment 1C are the Boscos, 685 00:37:44,879 --> 00:37:46,981 Mr. and Mrs. J. Bosco. Who are they? 686 00:37:47,015 --> 00:37:48,855 Mr. and Mrs. J. Bosco are a lovely young couple 687 00:37:48,883 --> 00:37:50,785 who just happen to be of the same sex. 688 00:37:50,819 --> 00:37:52,721 And no one knows which one that is. Crazy! 689 00:37:52,754 --> 00:37:54,889 And in apartment 3C are Mr. and Mrs. Gonzales. So... 690 00:37:54,923 --> 00:37:56,734 No, I have not finished. Mr. and Mrs. Gonzales, 691 00:37:56,758 --> 00:37:59,794 Mr. and Mrs. Armandariz, and Mr. Calhoun, who must be the umpire. 692 00:37:59,828 --> 00:38:01,329 Who do you think lives in 4D? 693 00:38:01,362 --> 00:38:03,097 I don't know. Nobody else does, either. 694 00:38:03,131 --> 00:38:05,175 Nobody's been seen going in or coming out in three years! 695 00:38:05,199 --> 00:38:06,635 Except every morning, 696 00:38:06,668 --> 00:38:08,813 there are nine empty cans of tuna fish outside the door. 697 00:38:08,837 --> 00:38:10,572 Who do you suppose lives there? 698 00:38:10,605 --> 00:38:13,274 Sounds like a big cat with a can opener. 699 00:38:13,307 --> 00:38:16,377 Oh, I forgot, Mr. Velasco, Victor Velasco, he lives in 6A. 700 00:38:16,410 --> 00:38:17,512 Where's that, on the roof? 701 00:38:17,546 --> 00:38:19,548 The attic. He lives in the attic! 702 00:38:19,581 --> 00:38:21,550 He's 58 years old. He skis, he climbs mountains, 703 00:38:21,583 --> 00:38:22,751 he's been married four times. 704 00:38:22,784 --> 00:38:24,361 He's known as the Bluebeard of 10th Street. 705 00:38:24,385 --> 00:38:25,820 What does that mean? 706 00:38:25,854 --> 00:38:27,765 I don't know. It either means that he attacks girls on 10th Street 707 00:38:27,789 --> 00:38:29,591 or he's got a blue beard. 708 00:38:29,624 --> 00:38:31,359 Where are you going? 709 00:38:31,392 --> 00:38:33,003 I'm gonna go stand in the bedroom and work. 710 00:38:33,027 --> 00:38:36,698 If anything comes up, like the bed or the heat, just let me know, huh? 711 00:38:37,599 --> 00:38:38,800 (DOOR CLOSING) 712 00:38:40,869 --> 00:38:42,203 (WIND BLOWING) 713 00:39:02,256 --> 00:39:03,792 (WHISPERS) Paul? Hmm? 714 00:39:05,526 --> 00:39:06,961 Are you asleep? 715 00:39:07,896 --> 00:39:09,764 Just my hands and my feet. 716 00:39:13,568 --> 00:39:14,645 Paul, do you know what the trouble is? 717 00:39:14,669 --> 00:39:17,471 We're wearing too much clothing. 718 00:39:17,505 --> 00:39:19,841 You know how the Eskimos keep warm? 719 00:39:19,874 --> 00:39:21,743 They check into a motel. 720 00:39:28,449 --> 00:39:30,118 Paul, do you hate me? 721 00:39:30,151 --> 00:39:31,219 Yes. 722 00:39:31,252 --> 00:39:32,654 Then say it. 723 00:39:33,154 --> 00:39:34,322 I hate you. 724 00:39:35,356 --> 00:39:36,991 Then I hate you. 725 00:39:37,025 --> 00:39:38,226 (SOFT RATTLING) 726 00:39:40,695 --> 00:39:41,806 There's somebody at the door. 727 00:39:41,830 --> 00:39:44,232 If it's the Red Cross, let them in. 728 00:39:44,265 --> 00:39:46,534 Aren't you going to answer it? 729 00:39:46,567 --> 00:39:48,770 You found the apartment. You answer it. 730 00:40:04,285 --> 00:40:05,754 (WHISPERS) Paul. 731 00:40:12,661 --> 00:40:13,962 Who are you? 732 00:40:13,995 --> 00:40:15,029 Who are you? 733 00:40:15,063 --> 00:40:16,030 I live here. 734 00:40:16,064 --> 00:40:17,198 So do I. 735 00:40:17,231 --> 00:40:18,833 How delightful! 736 00:40:18,867 --> 00:40:20,835 I hope I didn't disturb you. 737 00:40:20,869 --> 00:40:23,071 My name is Velasco, Victor Velasco. 738 00:40:23,905 --> 00:40:25,807 The Blue... From the attic? 739 00:40:27,909 --> 00:40:30,011 I was wondering if I could use your bedroom. 740 00:40:30,544 --> 00:40:32,246 The bedroom? No. 741 00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:34,615 Well, I can't get into my apartment. 742 00:40:34,649 --> 00:40:37,986 I wanted to use your window and just crawl out along the ledge. 743 00:40:38,019 --> 00:40:39,487 Oh, did you lose your key? 744 00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:42,590 Oh, no, no. I have my key, but it no longer fits the lock. 745 00:40:42,623 --> 00:40:45,393 The penalty of being four months behind in the rent. 746 00:40:48,629 --> 00:40:50,331 So, you say you live here? 747 00:40:51,833 --> 00:40:53,201 Just moved in today. 748 00:40:53,234 --> 00:40:56,070 Really? And what are you, a folk singer? 749 00:40:57,238 --> 00:40:58,707 No, a wife! Uh-huh. 750 00:40:59,708 --> 00:41:02,176 You know, of course, you're unbearably pretty. 751 00:41:02,210 --> 00:41:05,113 All indications point to my falling in love with you. 752 00:41:08,516 --> 00:41:11,753 Ah, I see our ratfink landlord 753 00:41:11,786 --> 00:41:13,554 has left a hole in the skylight. 754 00:41:13,587 --> 00:41:14,799 Yeah. Well, he's going to fix it, won't he? 755 00:41:14,823 --> 00:41:16,725 Oh, I wouldn't count on it. 756 00:41:16,758 --> 00:41:19,260 My bathtub has been leaking since 1949. (SIGHS) 757 00:41:21,329 --> 00:41:24,833 Tell me, does your husband, uh, work during the day? 758 00:41:25,266 --> 00:41:26,400 Yes. 759 00:41:26,434 --> 00:41:27,836 In an office? 760 00:41:28,302 --> 00:41:29,570 Yes. Good. 761 00:41:29,603 --> 00:41:31,239 I work at home during the day. 762 00:41:31,272 --> 00:41:34,208 Oh, I predict interesting complications. 763 00:41:34,242 --> 00:41:35,543 Am I making you nervous? 764 00:41:35,576 --> 00:41:36,444 Very nervous. (CHUCKLES) 765 00:41:36,477 --> 00:41:38,346 Wonderful! 766 00:41:38,379 --> 00:41:42,016 Once a month I try to make pretty young girls nervous 767 00:41:42,050 --> 00:41:44,152 just to keep my ego from going out. 768 00:41:44,185 --> 00:41:46,587 But I'll save you a lot of anguish. 769 00:41:46,620 --> 00:41:48,422 I'm six... I'm 58 years old, 770 00:41:49,490 --> 00:41:50,610 and a thoroughly nice fellow. 771 00:41:51,726 --> 00:41:52,994 Well, I'm glad to hear that. 772 00:41:53,027 --> 00:41:55,663 I'm not! I wish I were 10 years older. 773 00:41:55,696 --> 00:41:57,531 Older? Yes. 774 00:41:57,565 --> 00:42:00,601 Why, dirty old men seem to get away with a lot more. 775 00:42:00,634 --> 00:42:03,905 You see, I'm still at the awkward age. 776 00:42:03,938 --> 00:42:06,908 Well, now when do I get invited down for dinner? 777 00:42:06,941 --> 00:42:10,278 Dinner? Oh, we'd... We'd love to have you for dinner 778 00:42:10,311 --> 00:42:11,846 as soon as we get set up. 779 00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:13,882 With newlyweds, I could starve to death. 780 00:42:13,915 --> 00:42:15,649 Shall we say next Tuesday night? 781 00:42:15,683 --> 00:42:17,819 Tuesday night? No, my mother's... 782 00:42:19,587 --> 00:42:20,721 Tuesday night's fine. 783 00:42:20,755 --> 00:42:22,290 It's a date. 784 00:42:22,323 --> 00:42:24,468 I'll bring the wine. You can pay me for it when I get here. 785 00:42:24,492 --> 00:42:26,027 Oh, which reminds me, 786 00:42:26,060 --> 00:42:29,363 you're invited to my cocktail party tomorrow night, 10:00. 787 00:42:29,397 --> 00:42:31,599 You do drink, don't you? Yes, of course. 788 00:42:31,632 --> 00:42:33,902 Good. Bring liquor. Until tomorrow then. 789 00:42:33,935 --> 00:42:36,037 Yeah, if we don't freeze first. (CHUCKLES) 790 00:42:36,070 --> 00:42:38,206 You don't know about the plumbing, do you? 791 00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:41,275 Everything in this museum works backwards. 792 00:42:41,309 --> 00:42:44,145 For example, on the steam, it says, "Turn right," 793 00:42:44,645 --> 00:42:45,914 so you turn left. 794 00:42:45,947 --> 00:42:48,282 Except I can't reach it. 795 00:42:48,316 --> 00:42:49,784 Will you help me up, please? 796 00:42:49,818 --> 00:42:52,520 Oh! With the greatest of physical pleasure. 797 00:42:52,553 --> 00:42:54,322 One, two, three, up! 798 00:42:54,355 --> 00:42:55,355 Whoo! 799 00:42:59,027 --> 00:43:00,962 Corie, was there anyone... 800 00:43:03,898 --> 00:43:05,338 We were just warming up the apartment. 801 00:43:07,301 --> 00:43:08,502 Uh, Paul... 802 00:43:10,438 --> 00:43:11,906 Whoo! 803 00:43:11,940 --> 00:43:15,076 This is Mr. Velasco from upstairs. 804 00:43:15,109 --> 00:43:16,753 He was just telling me that all our plumbing works backwards. 805 00:43:16,777 --> 00:43:18,246 That's right. 806 00:43:18,279 --> 00:43:20,281 An important thing to remember is 807 00:43:20,314 --> 00:43:23,517 you have to flush up. Until tomorrow night then. 808 00:43:23,551 --> 00:43:25,295 What's tomorrow night? Where's... Where's he going? 809 00:43:25,319 --> 00:43:27,155 Don't forget Tuesday! 810 00:43:27,188 --> 00:43:29,958 What about Tuesday? What's he doing in the bedroom? 811 00:43:30,391 --> 00:43:31,860 (WIND BLOWING) 812 00:43:51,212 --> 00:43:53,181 That nut went out the window. 813 00:43:53,647 --> 00:43:54,883 (RINGS) 814 00:43:59,653 --> 00:44:01,022 Hello. 815 00:44:01,055 --> 00:44:02,223 Hello, Mother? It's me. 816 00:44:02,256 --> 00:44:03,657 Corie, did you hear what I said? 817 00:44:03,691 --> 00:44:05,359 There's an old nut out on our ledge! 818 00:44:05,393 --> 00:44:07,461 No, nothing's wrong. 819 00:44:07,495 --> 00:44:10,064 Listen, I just want to confirm our Tuesday night dinner date. 820 00:44:10,098 --> 00:44:12,366 At 2:00 in the morning? 821 00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:13,944 Well, I just I want to be sure you're gonna come. 822 00:44:13,968 --> 00:44:16,237 At 2:00 in the morning? 823 00:44:16,270 --> 00:44:19,874 And, Mother, listen, wear something, uh, gay and frivolous. 824 00:44:19,908 --> 00:44:21,348 As a matter of fact, buy a new dress. 825 00:44:21,709 --> 00:44:23,711 At 2:00 in the morning? 826 00:44:23,744 --> 00:44:25,546 I'll call you tomorrow. Bye. 827 00:44:27,949 --> 00:44:29,483 Who are you waving at? 828 00:44:29,750 --> 00:44:30,919 Him. 829 00:45:04,452 --> 00:45:07,055 I decided to meet you here every day. 830 00:45:07,088 --> 00:45:08,232 It takes you so long to climb the stairs, 831 00:45:08,256 --> 00:45:09,823 and I can't wait for you. 832 00:45:09,857 --> 00:45:11,168 You will not meet me here every day. 833 00:45:11,192 --> 00:45:13,627 The bus driver will think you're my mother. 834 00:45:23,437 --> 00:45:25,206 Hey, do you have an Aunt Fern? Yeah. 835 00:45:25,239 --> 00:45:27,341 She sent us a check today. Did she? 836 00:45:27,375 --> 00:45:29,043 Boy, do you have a cheap Aunt Fern! 837 00:45:29,077 --> 00:45:31,179 I'll write and tell her. 838 00:45:31,212 --> 00:45:32,981 Oh, and your mother called from Philly. 839 00:45:33,014 --> 00:45:36,150 She and your father are coming up a week from Sunday. 840 00:45:36,184 --> 00:45:37,261 And your sister has a new boyfriend! 841 00:45:37,285 --> 00:45:38,619 Huh? Really? From Rutgers. 842 00:45:38,652 --> 00:45:41,055 Yeah, he has acne, and they all hate him. Swell. 843 00:45:41,089 --> 00:45:42,991 Including your sister. (BOTH LAUGHING) 844 00:45:44,025 --> 00:45:45,026 Did you miss me today? 845 00:45:45,059 --> 00:45:46,961 No. Why not? 846 00:45:46,995 --> 00:45:49,230 Because you called me eight times. 847 00:45:49,263 --> 00:45:51,599 I... I don't talk to you that much when I'm home. 848 00:45:51,632 --> 00:45:53,834 What a grouch! Hey, how'd it go in court today? 849 00:45:53,867 --> 00:45:55,103 Well, I was going to... 850 00:45:55,136 --> 00:45:56,604 Gump or Birnbaum? Birnbaum. 851 00:45:56,637 --> 00:45:57,671 You won? Yes. 852 00:45:57,705 --> 00:45:58,939 Oh, Paul! 853 00:46:00,108 --> 00:46:01,609 Oh, I'm so proud. 854 00:46:03,844 --> 00:46:05,246 Aren't you happy? 855 00:46:05,279 --> 00:46:06,923 Birnbaum won the protection of his good name. 856 00:46:06,947 --> 00:46:08,682 But no damages. We were awarded 6 cents. 857 00:46:08,716 --> 00:46:10,418 6 cents! It's the law. 858 00:46:10,451 --> 00:46:12,829 You have to be awarded something, so the court made it 6 cents. 859 00:46:12,853 --> 00:46:14,388 Well, how much of that do you get? 860 00:46:14,422 --> 00:46:16,357 Nothing. Birnbaum gets the whole 6 cents. 861 00:46:16,390 --> 00:46:18,392 And I get it going the office tomorrow. 862 00:46:18,426 --> 00:46:22,130 From here on in, I get all the cases that come in for a dime or under. 863 00:46:25,533 --> 00:46:28,102 Grouch, grouch, grouch. 864 00:46:28,136 --> 00:46:30,938 You weren't that grouchy at 6:00 this morning under the covers. 865 00:46:30,971 --> 00:46:34,342 Do you have to carry on a personal conversation with me on the stairs? 866 00:46:34,375 --> 00:46:37,011 Why, what's wrong with it? (MUMBLES) 867 00:46:37,045 --> 00:46:39,747 Everybody knows the intimate details of our life. 868 00:46:39,780 --> 00:46:42,716 Geez, I ring the bell, and suddenly we're on the air! 869 00:46:42,750 --> 00:46:44,594 You know, I think I better make you a drink. Yeah, that's... 870 00:46:44,618 --> 00:46:46,787 You're supposed to be charming tonight. 871 00:46:46,820 --> 00:46:48,456 Listen, I've got news for us. 872 00:46:48,489 --> 00:46:50,134 This little dinner you have planned for tonight 873 00:46:50,158 --> 00:46:52,126 has got fiasco written all over it. 874 00:46:52,160 --> 00:46:55,563 Why? You know, it just may be they have a lot in common. 875 00:46:55,596 --> 00:46:58,832 (CHUCKLES) Are you kidding? Your mother? 876 00:46:58,866 --> 00:47:00,977 You mean that quiet, dainty little woman from New Jersey 877 00:47:01,001 --> 00:47:02,046 and the Count of Monte Cristo? 878 00:47:02,070 --> 00:47:04,038 You must be kidding. Why? 879 00:47:04,072 --> 00:47:05,282 Well, you've seen his apartment. 880 00:47:05,306 --> 00:47:07,741 He wears Japanese kimonos, he sleeps on rugs. 881 00:47:09,610 --> 00:47:12,480 Your mother wears a hair net and sleeps on a board. 882 00:47:13,081 --> 00:47:14,482 Boof. (LAUGHS) 883 00:47:23,991 --> 00:47:26,294 Well, maybe we could help her. 884 00:47:26,327 --> 00:47:27,437 I mean, we don't have to introduce her 885 00:47:27,461 --> 00:47:30,631 as my dull, 52-year-old, housewife mother. 886 00:47:30,664 --> 00:47:32,342 That wasn't the exact wording I had planned here. 887 00:47:32,366 --> 00:47:34,302 But what did you have in mind? 888 00:47:34,335 --> 00:47:36,170 I don't know, something more glamorous. 889 00:47:36,204 --> 00:47:37,305 A former actress. 890 00:47:40,141 --> 00:47:42,676 You know, of course, that she was in The Man Who Came to Dinner. 891 00:47:42,710 --> 00:47:45,679 Your mother? Where? The East Orange Women's Club? 892 00:47:45,713 --> 00:47:47,481 I don't know, on Broadway. 893 00:47:47,515 --> 00:47:49,593 And she was in the original company of Strange Interlude, 894 00:47:49,617 --> 00:47:52,653 and she had a small singing part in Knickerbocker Holiday. 895 00:47:54,021 --> 00:47:55,523 Are you serious? 896 00:47:56,590 --> 00:47:57,791 Cross my heart. 897 00:47:59,927 --> 00:48:01,329 Your mother, an actress? 898 00:48:01,362 --> 00:48:02,362 Yeah. 899 00:48:03,697 --> 00:48:06,367 What? You never told me this. 900 00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:08,769 Why didn't you ever tell me? 901 00:48:08,802 --> 00:48:11,639 (SIGHS) I don't know. I didn't think you'd be interested. 902 00:48:11,672 --> 00:48:12,940 God, that's fascinating! 903 00:48:12,973 --> 00:48:15,075 I can't... I can't get over that. 904 00:48:16,510 --> 00:48:18,379 You see? Now you're interested. 905 00:48:18,412 --> 00:48:20,013 It's a lie. Every bit of it. 906 00:48:20,047 --> 00:48:21,815 I'm going to control myself. 907 00:48:24,585 --> 00:48:25,686 (PANTING) 908 00:48:41,001 --> 00:48:42,236 (CLANGS) 909 00:48:47,508 --> 00:48:49,277 Hello, Mom. Are you all right, Mother? 910 00:48:49,310 --> 00:48:50,611 Paul... Yes, Mom. 911 00:48:50,644 --> 00:48:53,281 In my handbag... Are some pink pills. 912 00:48:53,314 --> 00:48:55,383 Pink pills? All right. 913 00:48:55,416 --> 00:48:57,918 I'll be all right in a minute. I'm just a little out of breath. 914 00:48:57,951 --> 00:48:59,796 Mother, sit right there. I'll get you something to drink. 915 00:48:59,820 --> 00:49:02,923 I had to park the car three blocks away. 916 00:49:02,956 --> 00:49:06,394 Then it started to rain, so I ran the last two blocks. 917 00:49:06,427 --> 00:49:09,497 Then my heel got caught in the subway grating. 918 00:49:09,530 --> 00:49:12,433 When I pulled my foot out, I stepped in a puddle. 919 00:49:12,466 --> 00:49:15,336 Then a cab went by and splashed my stockings. 920 00:49:15,369 --> 00:49:17,405 If the hardware store downstairs was open, 921 00:49:17,438 --> 00:49:19,407 I was going to buy a knife and kill myself. 922 00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:20,674 Here, Mother, drink this. 923 00:49:20,708 --> 00:49:22,343 Here's your pill, Mom. 924 00:49:26,980 --> 00:49:28,982 A martini to wash down a pill. 925 00:49:29,016 --> 00:49:30,651 It'll make you feel better. 926 00:49:30,684 --> 00:49:32,653 I had a martini at home. It made me sick. 927 00:49:32,686 --> 00:49:35,022 That's why I'm taking the pill. 928 00:49:35,055 --> 00:49:37,458 Let me help you inside. 929 00:49:37,491 --> 00:49:38,868 You need food, Mother. I'll get you an hors d'oeuvre. 930 00:49:38,892 --> 00:49:40,093 No, thank you, dear. 931 00:49:40,127 --> 00:49:42,630 It's just sour cream and blue cheese. 932 00:49:42,663 --> 00:49:44,398 I wish you hadn't said that. 933 00:49:44,432 --> 00:49:46,600 Uh, maybe you'd like to lie down? 934 00:49:46,634 --> 00:49:49,537 No, thank you, dear. I can't lie down without my board. 935 00:49:50,571 --> 00:49:53,507 Right now, all I want to do is see the apartment. 936 00:49:53,541 --> 00:49:55,843 Well, then... Help you up. 937 00:49:55,876 --> 00:49:57,411 Up. (SIGHS CHEERFULLY) 938 00:50:02,015 --> 00:50:03,217 Corie. 939 00:50:04,452 --> 00:50:06,220 Corie! Do you like it? 940 00:50:06,654 --> 00:50:07,688 Like it? 941 00:50:08,188 --> 00:50:09,423 (CLICKS TONGUE) 942 00:50:11,392 --> 00:50:12,893 It's magnificent. 943 00:50:14,762 --> 00:50:15,762 My! 944 00:50:16,664 --> 00:50:20,334 Oh, it's... And you did it all by yourself. 945 00:50:20,368 --> 00:50:22,503 No. Actually, Mr. Velasco gave me a few ideas. 946 00:50:22,536 --> 00:50:24,338 ETHEL: Who? Our decorator. 947 00:50:24,372 --> 00:50:26,206 He comes in through the window once a week. 948 00:50:26,240 --> 00:50:27,841 Oh, the man that lives upstairs. 949 00:50:29,543 --> 00:50:31,279 Oh, you've heard about him, eh? 950 00:50:31,312 --> 00:50:34,582 Oh, yes. Corie had me on the phone for two hours yesterday. 951 00:50:34,615 --> 00:50:36,393 Did you know that he's been married four times, Mom? 952 00:50:36,417 --> 00:50:38,952 Yes. If I were you, dear, I'd sleep with a gun. 953 00:50:41,322 --> 00:50:42,690 Mother... 954 00:50:42,723 --> 00:50:44,258 See, we did get the bed in. 955 00:50:44,292 --> 00:50:47,194 Yes. Just fits, doesn't it? 956 00:50:47,227 --> 00:50:49,129 Just. We have to turn in unison. 957 00:50:49,162 --> 00:50:50,631 Well, I must admit, 958 00:50:50,664 --> 00:50:52,866 I never expected anything like this. 959 00:50:54,702 --> 00:50:56,203 Can't wait to see the expression 960 00:50:56,236 --> 00:50:57,771 on your parents' faces tonight, Paul. 961 00:50:58,439 --> 00:51:00,374 I beg your... My what? 962 00:51:00,408 --> 00:51:01,675 Your mother and father. 963 00:51:01,709 --> 00:51:03,320 We're having dinner with them tonight, aren't we? 964 00:51:03,344 --> 00:51:05,245 Isn't that what you told me, Corie? 965 00:51:05,279 --> 00:51:07,915 Is that what you told her, Corie? (SIGHS) 966 00:51:07,948 --> 00:51:10,584 Well, if I told you had a blind date with Mr. Velasco upstairs, 967 00:51:10,618 --> 00:51:12,262 I couldn't have blasted you out of the house. 968 00:51:12,286 --> 00:51:14,655 Blind date with Mr. Velasco... 969 00:51:14,688 --> 00:51:16,757 The man that lives upstairs... 970 00:51:16,790 --> 00:51:18,125 Good God! 971 00:51:18,158 --> 00:51:20,828 What's all the panic, Mother? He's just a man. 972 00:51:20,861 --> 00:51:23,163 My accountant is just a man. 973 00:51:23,196 --> 00:51:25,733 You make him sound like Douglas Fairbanks. 974 00:51:25,766 --> 00:51:27,886 He looks nothing like Douglas Fairbanks. Does he, Paul? 975 00:51:28,402 --> 00:51:29,637 No. He just jumps like him. 976 00:51:29,670 --> 00:51:31,004 Come on, Mother. 977 00:51:31,038 --> 00:51:32,916 I promise you, you're going to have a marvelous evening. 978 00:51:32,940 --> 00:51:34,241 Come on where? 979 00:51:34,274 --> 00:51:35,609 Up to Mr. Velasco's for cocktails. 980 00:51:35,643 --> 00:51:36,877 But I'm not even dressed! 981 00:51:36,910 --> 00:51:38,346 You look fine. 982 00:51:38,379 --> 00:51:41,315 Oh, for Paul's parents I just wanted to look clean. 983 00:51:41,349 --> 00:51:42,683 He'll think I'm a nurse. 984 00:51:42,716 --> 00:51:44,352 He'll think you're very interesting. 985 00:51:44,385 --> 00:51:45,853 Is my hair all right? Yes, it's fine. 986 00:51:45,886 --> 00:51:47,855 Just push it up a bit in back. Oh, right. 987 00:51:47,888 --> 00:51:50,358 Paul, is something wrong with my hair? 988 00:51:52,626 --> 00:51:54,471 Mother, listen, just try to go along with everything. 989 00:51:54,495 --> 00:51:56,364 What do you mean? Where are we going? 990 00:51:56,397 --> 00:51:58,366 I mean, try to be one of the fellows. 991 00:51:58,399 --> 00:51:59,919 One of what fellows? Should I go first? 992 00:52:00,334 --> 00:52:02,169 Go where? 993 00:52:02,202 --> 00:52:04,372 Up there. That's where the birdman lives. 994 00:52:04,405 --> 00:52:05,706 (SOFTLY) Good Lord. 995 00:52:06,907 --> 00:52:08,509 Oh. Go on, Paul. 996 00:52:08,542 --> 00:52:09,843 Yes. 997 00:52:09,877 --> 00:52:11,979 It's all right, Mother. I'll be right behind you. 998 00:52:12,012 --> 00:52:13,581 ETHEL: Oh! (SCREAMS) 999 00:52:13,614 --> 00:52:16,450 Mother, are you all right? Yes, oh, my! 1000 00:52:16,484 --> 00:52:17,918 You should've told me about this. 1001 00:52:17,951 --> 00:52:20,087 I'd have gone into training. 1002 00:52:20,120 --> 00:52:21,264 I've got you. Paul, pull her up. 1003 00:52:21,288 --> 00:52:22,490 Give me your hand, Mom. 1004 00:52:22,523 --> 00:52:24,091 Oh, my arm. You're pulling my arm! 1005 00:52:24,124 --> 00:52:25,593 Paul, stop pulling her arm. 1006 00:52:25,626 --> 00:52:26,870 PAUL: I'm not pulling. I'm helping. 1007 00:52:26,894 --> 00:52:28,362 Oh. 1008 00:52:28,396 --> 00:52:29,797 (ORIENTAL MUSIC PLAYS) Thank you. 1009 00:52:30,464 --> 00:52:32,566 Ooh! Isn't this wild? 1010 00:52:32,600 --> 00:52:34,034 Huh? What do you think, Mother? 1011 00:52:34,067 --> 00:52:35,603 I think I've broken some straps. Hello? 1012 00:52:37,371 --> 00:52:39,673 Ah, my guests. 1013 00:52:39,707 --> 00:52:42,175 Paul... (SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 1014 00:52:42,209 --> 00:52:44,778 I beg your pardon? I was just saying hello in Burmese. 1015 00:52:44,812 --> 00:52:47,615 Corie, ra-vi-shing! What does that mean? 1016 00:52:47,648 --> 00:52:49,182 Ravishing. That's English. 1017 00:52:49,216 --> 00:52:51,619 (LAUGHING) 1018 00:52:51,652 --> 00:52:53,754 Uh, Paul, won't you do the honors? Yes, of course. 1019 00:52:53,787 --> 00:52:56,132 Mr. Velasco, I don't believe that you've met Corie's mother, Mrs. Banks. 1020 00:52:56,156 --> 00:52:58,158 Mom, this is our new neighbor, Mr. Velasco. 1021 00:52:58,191 --> 00:52:59,793 How do you do? Oh, Mrs. Banks. 1022 00:52:59,827 --> 00:53:02,396 I've been looking forward so to meeting you. 1023 00:53:02,430 --> 00:53:04,798 I invited your daughter to my cocktail party, 1024 00:53:04,832 --> 00:53:07,835 and she spent the entire evening talking of nothing but you. 1025 00:53:07,868 --> 00:53:10,538 That must've been a dull party. Not at all. 1026 00:53:10,571 --> 00:53:12,606 Oh, I mean, if she did nothing but talk about me, 1027 00:53:12,640 --> 00:53:14,374 that must've been dull, not the party. 1028 00:53:14,408 --> 00:53:16,243 (LAUGHS) I understand. 1029 00:53:16,276 --> 00:53:17,711 Thank you. Won't you sit down? 1030 00:53:30,458 --> 00:53:32,560 Whoosh! Aren't these marvelous? 1031 00:53:33,326 --> 00:53:34,828 Yes, they're marvelous. 1032 00:53:36,096 --> 00:53:37,431 And now... 1033 00:53:37,898 --> 00:53:39,500 (SIZZLING) 1034 00:53:39,533 --> 00:53:41,569 Knichi! Knichi? 1035 00:53:41,602 --> 00:53:43,103 It's an hors d'oeuvre, Mother. 1036 00:53:43,136 --> 00:53:46,006 Mr. Velasco makes them himself. He's a famous gourmet. 1037 00:53:46,039 --> 00:53:47,841 Gourmet. Imagine. 1038 00:53:47,875 --> 00:53:49,943 Didn't you once cook for the King of Sweden? 1039 00:53:49,977 --> 00:53:52,412 Well, we belong to the same gourmet society. 1040 00:53:52,446 --> 00:53:54,414 One hundred and fifty charter members, 1041 00:53:54,448 --> 00:53:56,484 including the King, Prince Philip, 1042 00:53:56,517 --> 00:53:58,686 Fidel Castro. Fidel Castro, too? 1043 00:53:58,719 --> 00:54:01,555 Yes. We meet once every five years 1044 00:54:01,589 --> 00:54:03,891 for a dinner we cook ourselves. 1045 00:54:03,924 --> 00:54:06,627 In 1987, they're supposed to come to my house. 1046 00:54:07,528 --> 00:54:09,530 We have another 30 seconds. 1047 00:54:09,563 --> 00:54:11,932 Until what? Until they're edible. 1048 00:54:11,965 --> 00:54:16,504 The last 15 seconds, we just let them sit there and breathe. 1049 00:54:16,537 --> 00:54:20,007 Oh, Paul, aren't they gorgeous? Yeah. 1050 00:54:20,040 --> 00:54:22,943 You know, when you eat knichi, you take a bite into history. 1051 00:54:22,976 --> 00:54:24,945 Knichi is over 2,000 years old. 1052 00:54:26,046 --> 00:54:28,415 Not this particular batch, of course. Oh, well, no. 1053 00:54:28,448 --> 00:54:29,950 (LAUGHING SHRILLY) 1054 00:54:32,085 --> 00:54:34,254 Mr. Velasco, would you be a traitor to the society 1055 00:54:34,287 --> 00:54:35,447 if you told us what's in them? 1056 00:54:36,323 --> 00:54:38,225 Well, if caught, your taste buds 1057 00:54:38,258 --> 00:54:40,528 are ostracized for two years. 1058 00:54:40,561 --> 00:54:41,895 But since I'm among friends... 1059 00:54:41,929 --> 00:54:44,532 It's bits of salted fish, grated olives, 1060 00:54:44,565 --> 00:54:46,500 spices, and onion batter. 1061 00:54:48,502 --> 00:54:50,871 Ready? Five, 1062 00:54:51,739 --> 00:54:56,043 four, three, two, one, zero. 1063 00:54:56,076 --> 00:54:57,711 Mrs. Banks. Oh. Thank you. 1064 00:54:59,780 --> 00:55:01,481 What kind of fish is it? Eel. 1065 00:55:02,282 --> 00:55:04,317 Eel? Eel. 1066 00:55:04,351 --> 00:55:06,520 That's why the time element is so essential. 1067 00:55:06,554 --> 00:55:08,722 Eel spoils quickly. 1068 00:55:08,756 --> 00:55:10,958 Mrs. Banks, you're not eating. 1069 00:55:10,991 --> 00:55:13,493 I had a martini and a pink pill, and I think... 1070 00:55:13,527 --> 00:55:15,128 Oh, please, please. 1071 00:55:15,162 --> 00:55:17,565 The temperature of the knichi is very important. 1072 00:55:17,598 --> 00:55:19,432 You must eat it now. 1073 00:55:19,466 --> 00:55:20,968 In five minutes, we throw it away. 1074 00:55:21,001 --> 00:55:22,870 ETHEL: Oh, wouldn't want you to do that. 1075 00:55:23,537 --> 00:55:25,272 No, no. Pop it. 1076 00:55:25,305 --> 00:55:28,676 I beg your pardon? If you nibble that, knichi tastes bitter. 1077 00:55:28,709 --> 00:55:30,578 You must pop it. Look. 1078 00:55:33,513 --> 00:55:34,848 See? Oh, yes. 1079 00:55:37,585 --> 00:55:39,653 (LAUGHS) Here. 1080 00:55:39,687 --> 00:55:40,921 Oh, thank you. 1081 00:55:45,158 --> 00:55:46,627 (COUGHS) 1082 00:55:47,628 --> 00:55:49,096 Mother, are you all right? 1083 00:55:49,129 --> 00:55:51,599 (CHOKING) I think I popped it back too far. 1084 00:55:51,632 --> 00:55:52,833 (COUGHS) 1085 00:55:56,503 --> 00:55:57,971 Was that water? 1086 00:55:58,005 --> 00:56:00,307 No. Vodka. I use it in the knichi. 1087 00:56:00,340 --> 00:56:01,340 Oh, my stomach. 1088 00:56:02,342 --> 00:56:04,377 Of course, the trick is to pop it 1089 00:56:04,411 --> 00:56:06,213 right to the center of the tongue. 1090 00:56:06,246 --> 00:56:09,082 Then it gets the benefit of the entire palate. Corie. 1091 00:56:10,250 --> 00:56:11,719 Well, here goes. 1092 00:56:14,154 --> 00:56:16,690 How about that? Perfect! 1093 00:56:16,724 --> 00:56:18,759 You are the prettiest epicurean I've ever seen. 1094 00:56:18,792 --> 00:56:19,960 Paul. 1095 00:56:19,993 --> 00:56:22,029 No. No, thank you. I... I have a bad arm. 1096 00:56:23,196 --> 00:56:25,565 You can try. Paul, you have to try everything. 1097 00:56:25,599 --> 00:56:27,434 Right, Mr. Velasco? 1098 00:56:27,467 --> 00:56:29,269 Well, as the French say, "At least once." 1099 00:56:38,846 --> 00:56:39,913 Ah. 1100 00:56:40,614 --> 00:56:42,082 Bitter. Right? 1101 00:56:42,850 --> 00:56:44,785 You know why, don't you? 1102 00:56:44,818 --> 00:56:46,019 I nibbled, I didn't pop. 1103 00:56:46,053 --> 00:56:47,855 Yeah. Have another one. And try to pop... 1104 00:56:47,888 --> 00:56:49,957 No, no. I don't care to pop another one. Really. 1105 00:56:49,990 --> 00:56:53,126 Besides, I think we're over the five-minute-limit now anyway. 1106 00:56:53,160 --> 00:56:55,295 Well, are we ready to go out to dinner? 1107 00:56:55,328 --> 00:56:57,898 Why, I thought we were going to have dinner at your flat. 1108 00:56:57,931 --> 00:56:59,667 No. We had a fire in our stove. 1109 00:56:59,700 --> 00:57:01,434 Goodness. What happened? 1110 00:57:01,468 --> 00:57:03,937 Nothing. We just turned it on. 1111 00:57:03,971 --> 00:57:07,007 If you're looking for the unusual, I have a suggestion. 1112 00:57:07,040 --> 00:57:08,942 That's what we want. The unusual, right, Mother? 1113 00:57:08,976 --> 00:57:11,478 Oh, you know me, one of the fellows. 1114 00:57:11,511 --> 00:57:13,513 Then we're off to The Four Winds. 1115 00:57:13,546 --> 00:57:15,215 The Chinese restaurant on 53rd Street? 1116 00:57:15,248 --> 00:57:17,951 No, the Albanian restaurant on Staten Island. 1117 00:57:17,985 --> 00:57:19,286 We'll have to take a ferry. 1118 00:57:19,319 --> 00:57:20,688 Ferry? In February. 1119 00:57:20,721 --> 00:57:22,690 I love it already! Come on, Mother. 1120 00:57:23,623 --> 00:57:25,659 Paul, help her. Yep. 1121 00:57:25,693 --> 00:57:28,195 Oh, dear! It won't let go of me. (CHUCKLES) 1122 00:57:29,396 --> 00:57:32,299 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION) 1123 00:57:32,332 --> 00:57:36,369 Now, don't expect anything lavish in the way of decor. 1124 00:57:36,403 --> 00:57:39,006 Actually, I'm not even certain they have a restaurant license. 1125 00:57:39,039 --> 00:57:40,440 How quaint. 1126 00:57:40,473 --> 00:57:42,776 Mr. Velasco, don't you wear a coat? 1127 00:57:42,810 --> 00:57:44,577 Well, it's only 30 degrees. 1128 00:57:44,611 --> 00:57:46,013 For me, it's springtime. 1129 00:57:46,046 --> 00:57:48,348 Ready? My group, stick close to me. 1130 00:57:48,381 --> 00:57:49,616 If anyone gets lost, 1131 00:57:49,649 --> 00:57:51,318 we'll meet at the United States Embassy. 1132 00:57:55,555 --> 00:57:58,325 Where were you? Getting my gloves. 1133 00:57:58,358 --> 00:58:01,294 Gloves. What do you need gloves for? It's only 30 degrees. 1134 00:58:01,328 --> 00:58:03,697 Oh. I'm sorry, I forgot. We're having a heat wave. 1135 00:58:12,672 --> 00:58:14,341 Do you have a dime? Yeah. 1136 00:58:24,617 --> 00:58:27,120 Would you look at her? Look at her. 1137 00:58:31,591 --> 00:58:33,602 She's freezing to death, but she wouldn't admit that. 1138 00:58:33,626 --> 00:58:35,763 I'll admit it. I'm freezing to death. 1139 00:58:38,732 --> 00:58:40,233 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1140 00:58:43,203 --> 00:58:44,471 (CHUCKLES) Hi! 1141 00:58:45,072 --> 00:58:46,173 Hello! 1142 00:59:00,754 --> 00:59:02,089 Voila! 1143 00:59:03,891 --> 00:59:05,325 Come on, Mother. 1144 00:59:11,264 --> 00:59:14,367 Uh, listen, are you sure we're in the right place? 1145 00:59:14,401 --> 00:59:15,735 What? Inhale. 1146 00:59:16,569 --> 00:59:18,238 This way. Heavenly! 1147 00:59:21,875 --> 00:59:24,277 (READING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) The Four Winds. 1148 00:59:24,311 --> 00:59:27,414 I bid you, now enter a gastronomical paradise. 1149 00:59:28,348 --> 00:59:29,749 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1150 00:59:29,783 --> 00:59:31,518 Kishama! 1151 00:59:31,551 --> 00:59:33,453 Velasco! (LAUGHS) 1152 00:59:36,456 --> 00:59:39,292 Mmm! You taste delicious! 1153 00:59:39,326 --> 00:59:41,694 You think so? I put myself on the menu. 1154 00:59:41,728 --> 00:59:43,430 (LAUGHS) How many people you got? 1155 00:59:43,463 --> 00:59:46,399 Four. All cold, all tired, and all starving. 1156 00:59:46,433 --> 00:59:48,601 Good. First you drink, then you eat, 1157 00:59:48,635 --> 00:59:49,837 then you go up to my bed 1158 00:59:49,870 --> 00:59:51,371 and take a little sleep, huh? 1159 00:59:51,404 --> 00:59:53,640 (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 1160 00:59:53,673 --> 00:59:55,508 Get up! Huh! 1161 00:59:55,542 --> 00:59:58,311 (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 1162 01:00:08,455 --> 01:00:12,525 A-ha, Ouzo, my beautiful, beloved Ouzo. 1163 01:00:12,559 --> 01:00:14,394 Paul, do you drink? 1164 01:00:14,427 --> 01:00:16,563 Yes, thank you. Ouzo, I'd like a scotch, please. 1165 01:00:16,596 --> 01:00:18,265 No, no. Uh, this is Ouzo. 1166 01:00:18,698 --> 01:00:20,600 She is Mushka. 1167 01:00:20,633 --> 01:00:22,402 Paul, didn't you know this was Ouzo? 1168 01:00:23,003 --> 01:00:24,004 No. 1169 01:00:24,571 --> 01:00:25,772 Is the glass dirty? 1170 01:00:25,805 --> 01:00:27,107 What color is Ouzo? 1171 01:00:27,140 --> 01:00:28,541 White. It's dirty. 1172 01:00:32,946 --> 01:00:35,682 (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 1173 01:00:35,715 --> 01:00:38,485 To the beginning of new friendships. 1174 01:00:38,518 --> 01:00:41,021 (SPEAKING GIBBERISH) 1175 01:00:42,022 --> 01:00:43,262 (CHUCKLING) What does that mean? 1176 01:00:43,290 --> 01:00:44,624 I don't know. I just made it up. 1177 01:00:44,657 --> 01:00:46,193 Cheers! (LAUGHS) Cheers! 1178 01:00:48,628 --> 01:00:49,997 (GRUNTS) Oh! 1179 01:00:50,663 --> 01:00:52,165 Wow! Whoo! (LAUGHING) 1180 01:00:53,633 --> 01:00:55,633 Here's to your health, Mom. Thank you. To my health. 1181 01:00:58,071 --> 01:01:00,207 (COUGHS) Have another one, quickly. 1182 01:01:00,240 --> 01:01:01,674 Oh, no, thank you, really. 1183 01:01:01,708 --> 01:01:03,843 Oh, please. One can make you sick. 1184 01:01:03,877 --> 01:01:05,979 Two starts you on the road to recovery. 1185 01:01:08,949 --> 01:01:10,517 Pelmenchki! (POPPING) 1186 01:01:11,018 --> 01:01:12,252 I don't believe it! 1187 01:01:12,285 --> 01:01:13,987 Taste it. You still won't believe it. 1188 01:01:14,021 --> 01:01:16,023 Pelmenchki! For us! 1189 01:01:16,056 --> 01:01:18,125 He only makes it twice a year. 1190 01:01:18,158 --> 01:01:21,528 Hmm, if you like it, I make you more next July. 1191 01:01:21,561 --> 01:01:23,263 (CHUCKLES) To pelmenchki. 1192 01:01:26,199 --> 01:01:28,668 Pour it in right away. Otherwise, it goes sour. 1193 01:01:28,701 --> 01:01:30,437 (SIZZLING) 1194 01:01:35,842 --> 01:01:37,344 (FOLK MUSIC PLAYING) 1195 01:01:48,855 --> 01:01:50,023 Hey, it's Mushka. 1196 01:01:58,465 --> 01:02:01,301 (SINGING FOLK SONG) 1197 01:02:08,808 --> 01:02:10,286 Hey, I like that. What are they playing? 1198 01:02:10,310 --> 01:02:12,345 It's an old Albanian folk song. 1199 01:02:12,379 --> 01:02:14,347 Shama, Shama. What does that mean? 1200 01:02:14,381 --> 01:02:16,283 Uh, Jimmy crack corn, and I don't care. 1201 01:02:16,316 --> 01:02:17,850 No kidding. 1202 01:02:17,884 --> 01:02:19,619 (FOLK SONG CONTINUES) 1203 01:02:37,537 --> 01:02:39,339 (ALL LAUGHING) 1204 01:02:46,779 --> 01:02:48,248 (TEMPO INCREASES) 1205 01:03:41,901 --> 01:03:44,504 (SINGING FOLK SONG) 1206 01:03:45,038 --> 01:03:46,773 Hey! Wait! 1207 01:03:46,806 --> 01:03:48,208 I'll race you up the stairs! 1208 01:03:48,675 --> 01:03:49,776 No, no, no! 1209 01:03:50,810 --> 01:03:52,079 Oh, you! 1210 01:03:52,745 --> 01:03:54,281 Oh! (LAUGHS) 1211 01:03:54,814 --> 01:03:57,650 Oh! No, you don't. 1212 01:03:57,684 --> 01:03:59,452 No! No, no, no. 1213 01:03:59,486 --> 01:04:00,753 (SQUEALING) 1214 01:04:02,021 --> 01:04:03,756 (LAUGHING) 1215 01:04:05,358 --> 01:04:06,559 Oh, no. 1216 01:04:06,593 --> 01:04:08,228 (PANTING) 1217 01:04:08,861 --> 01:04:10,430 I won! 1218 01:04:10,463 --> 01:04:12,031 (PANTING) 1219 01:04:12,565 --> 01:04:15,034 I won. (LAUGHING) 1220 01:04:15,068 --> 01:04:17,804 That was not a fair race. You tickled me. 1221 01:04:17,837 --> 01:04:19,806 (PANTING) 1222 01:04:19,839 --> 01:04:20,883 Hey, how do you say it again? 1223 01:04:20,907 --> 01:04:22,442 Say what? 1224 01:04:22,475 --> 01:04:24,177 Waiter, there's a fly in my soup. 1225 01:04:24,211 --> 01:04:26,179 (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 1226 01:04:27,147 --> 01:04:28,715 (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 1227 01:04:28,748 --> 01:04:30,350 No, no, no... No? 1228 01:04:30,383 --> 01:04:32,385 That's, "Fly, you have a waiter in my soup." 1229 01:04:32,419 --> 01:04:34,721 (LAUGHING) Oh, well, I did. 1230 01:04:34,754 --> 01:04:37,490 He put his hand in to take out the fly. (LAUGHING) 1231 01:04:37,524 --> 01:04:39,759 Oh! How's my head going to feel tomorrow? 1232 01:04:39,792 --> 01:04:41,561 Wonderful! No headache? 1233 01:04:41,594 --> 01:04:43,596 No, no headache. 1234 01:04:43,630 --> 01:04:46,266 But you won't be able to make a fist for three days. 1235 01:04:47,767 --> 01:04:50,703 Hey! Look at that! 1236 01:04:50,737 --> 01:04:53,072 (CHUCKLES) Coffee. We promised to make coffee. 1237 01:04:53,106 --> 01:04:55,542 Oh! And a promise is a promise! 1238 01:05:11,057 --> 01:05:13,025 I forgot the stove doesn't work. 1239 01:05:13,059 --> 01:05:14,861 Hey, upstairs, everybody, for coffee. 1240 01:05:14,894 --> 01:05:16,028 Don't you two want coffee? 1241 01:05:16,062 --> 01:05:18,531 Oh, they'll drink it if we make it. 1242 01:05:18,565 --> 01:05:21,168 Don't you two go away. (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 1243 01:05:23,236 --> 01:05:24,871 (CORIE AND VICTOR LAUGHING) 1244 01:05:25,672 --> 01:05:26,873 (EXHALES HEAVILY) 1245 01:05:30,843 --> 01:05:32,345 I feel like we've died. 1246 01:05:33,946 --> 01:05:35,515 And gone to heaven. 1247 01:05:37,083 --> 01:05:38,785 Only we had to climb up. 1248 01:05:42,121 --> 01:05:44,191 Struck down in the prime of life. 1249 01:05:45,458 --> 01:05:48,127 It isn't exactly that I feel sick, just... 1250 01:05:48,161 --> 01:05:49,562 Kind of numb. 1251 01:05:51,130 --> 01:05:53,166 And I can't make a fist. 1252 01:05:57,103 --> 01:05:59,472 Mom, you want to hear something frightening? 1253 01:06:01,941 --> 01:06:03,476 My teeth feel soft. 1254 01:06:05,111 --> 01:06:07,580 Huh. It's funny. 1255 01:06:07,614 --> 01:06:09,649 The best thing we had all night was the knichi. 1256 01:06:09,682 --> 01:06:12,151 Oh, anyway, Corie had a good time. 1257 01:06:14,020 --> 01:06:16,889 She seems to get such a terrific kick out of living. 1258 01:06:18,225 --> 01:06:20,126 You've got to admire that, don't you, Paul? 1259 01:06:20,159 --> 01:06:22,495 Yes, yes. I'd admire anybody 1260 01:06:22,529 --> 01:06:24,096 who has three portions of pelmenchki. 1261 01:06:24,130 --> 01:06:26,633 I tried, Paul. 1262 01:06:26,666 --> 01:06:28,911 I just couldn't seem to work up an appetite the way they did. 1263 01:06:28,935 --> 01:06:30,937 No, no, you mustn't blame yourself, Mom. 1264 01:06:30,970 --> 01:06:34,341 We're not used to that kind of food, that's all. 1265 01:06:34,374 --> 01:06:37,344 You don't pick up a fork and dig into a black salad. 1266 01:06:39,212 --> 01:06:41,013 You've got to play with it. 1267 01:06:41,047 --> 01:06:43,383 I don't think I could get through coffee tonight. 1268 01:06:43,416 --> 01:06:44,984 I'm all out of pink pills. 1269 01:06:45,017 --> 01:06:46,286 Where are you going? 1270 01:06:46,319 --> 01:06:48,288 Home. I'd like to die in my own bed. 1271 01:06:48,921 --> 01:06:50,623 What will I tell them? 1272 01:06:50,657 --> 01:06:52,559 Make up some clever little lie. 1273 01:06:53,726 --> 01:06:55,662 Tell Corie I'm not really her mother. 1274 01:06:58,265 --> 01:07:00,633 We've decided to have flaming brandy. 1275 01:07:00,667 --> 01:07:03,403 I'm afraid you must excuse me, darling, but it is a little late. 1276 01:07:03,436 --> 01:07:05,147 Mother, you can't go. It's the shank of the evening. 1277 01:07:05,171 --> 01:07:09,476 I know, darling, but I have a 10:00 dentist appointment at 9:00 1278 01:07:09,509 --> 01:07:11,210 and it's been a very long evening, 1279 01:07:11,244 --> 01:07:13,212 and I don't know what I'm saying. 1280 01:07:13,246 --> 01:07:14,423 Mother, you can't do that... Darling. 1281 01:07:14,447 --> 01:07:15,948 Good night, Paul. 1282 01:07:15,982 --> 01:07:17,884 Good night, Mr. Velasco. 1283 01:07:17,917 --> 01:07:19,719 Good night, Paul. Good night. 1284 01:07:19,752 --> 01:07:21,020 Good night, Corie. 1285 01:07:21,053 --> 01:07:22,655 No, you're not going, too? 1286 01:07:22,689 --> 01:07:24,367 Well, of course. I'm going to drive Mrs. Banks home. 1287 01:07:24,391 --> 01:07:27,193 Oh, no. I mean, oh, no, it's too late. 1288 01:07:27,226 --> 01:07:29,629 For what? For the buses. They stop at 2:00. 1289 01:07:29,662 --> 01:07:31,298 How would you ever get home? 1290 01:07:31,331 --> 01:07:32,765 Why worry about that now? 1291 01:07:32,799 --> 01:07:34,701 I'll meet that problem in New Jersey. 1292 01:07:34,734 --> 01:07:36,345 Oh, really, Mr. Velasco, it's very sweet, but I... 1293 01:07:36,369 --> 01:07:38,571 Victor. What? 1294 01:07:38,605 --> 01:07:40,483 Well, if we're going to spend the rest of the evening together, 1295 01:07:40,507 --> 01:07:42,442 it must be Victor. Oh. 1296 01:07:42,475 --> 01:07:45,278 And I insist that the arrangement be reciprocal. 1297 01:07:45,312 --> 01:07:46,746 What is it? 1298 01:07:46,779 --> 01:07:48,180 What is what? 1299 01:07:48,214 --> 01:07:49,316 Your name, Mother. 1300 01:07:51,117 --> 01:07:52,652 It's Ethel. 1301 01:07:52,685 --> 01:07:55,622 Oh, yes. Ethel, that's right. My name is Ethel. 1302 01:07:55,655 --> 01:07:57,790 That's better. Are you ready, Ethel? 1303 01:07:58,358 --> 01:07:59,959 If you insist, Walter. 1304 01:08:00,827 --> 01:08:02,362 Victor. It's Victor. 1305 01:08:02,395 --> 01:08:03,763 Yes, Victor. Good night, Paul. 1306 01:08:05,598 --> 01:08:07,567 Shama, shama, Corie. Shama, shama. 1307 01:08:07,600 --> 01:08:09,469 If you don't hear from us in a week, 1308 01:08:09,502 --> 01:08:12,071 we'll be in the National Hotel in Mexico City. 1309 01:08:12,104 --> 01:08:13,640 Room 703. Come on, Ethel. 1310 01:08:15,007 --> 01:08:16,343 What did he mean by that? 1311 01:08:16,376 --> 01:08:17,710 Stop worrying, Mother. 1312 01:08:17,744 --> 01:08:19,346 And call me in the morning. Oh. 1313 01:08:21,448 --> 01:08:23,583 How about that? He likes her! 1314 01:08:24,784 --> 01:08:26,285 He likes my mother! 1315 01:08:27,754 --> 01:08:29,556 He'll probably have to sleep over. 1316 01:08:30,523 --> 01:08:32,224 Hey, Paul, do you suppose that... 1317 01:08:32,258 --> 01:08:33,626 Not my mother. 1318 01:08:34,794 --> 01:08:35,895 (SIGHS) 1319 01:08:37,964 --> 01:08:39,632 Boy, what a night! 1320 01:08:42,435 --> 01:08:44,003 Hey, I got an idea. 1321 01:08:44,036 --> 01:08:45,705 Let's take the bottle of scotch downstairs 1322 01:08:45,738 --> 01:08:47,740 and ring all the bells and yell, "Police." 1323 01:08:47,774 --> 01:08:50,377 Huh? Just to see who comes out of whose apartment? 1324 01:08:51,678 --> 01:08:53,055 What's the matter, darling? Don't you feel well? 1325 01:08:53,079 --> 01:08:55,748 What a rotten thing to do to your own mother. 1326 01:08:55,782 --> 01:08:57,183 What? 1327 01:08:57,216 --> 01:08:59,227 Dragging your mother like that out into the middle of the harbor 1328 01:08:59,251 --> 01:09:00,753 for a bowl of sheep dip. 1329 01:09:05,358 --> 01:09:06,959 It was Greek bean soup. 1330 01:09:09,295 --> 01:09:11,598 And at least she tasted it. 1331 01:09:11,631 --> 01:09:13,108 I mean, she didn't jab at it with her knife 1332 01:09:13,132 --> 01:09:14,477 throwing cute little epigrams like, 1333 01:09:14,501 --> 01:09:16,803 "Ho, ho, ho. I think there's somebody in there." 1334 01:09:18,638 --> 01:09:20,940 That's, um, quite a match you made. 1335 01:09:20,973 --> 01:09:23,443 I can just hear the conversation. Sparkling dialogue. 1336 01:09:23,476 --> 01:09:24,877 He's telling her about some 1337 01:09:24,911 --> 01:09:27,246 great Japanese restaurant in East Berlin, 1338 01:09:27,279 --> 01:09:29,949 and she's describing the joys of having a root canal job. 1339 01:09:33,052 --> 01:09:34,186 Give me your hand, Ethel. 1340 01:09:34,220 --> 01:09:35,522 My what? 1341 01:09:35,555 --> 01:09:37,289 Your hand. There is ice on the stoop. 1342 01:09:37,323 --> 01:09:39,626 Oh, don't worry about me. I can manage. 1343 01:09:40,092 --> 01:09:41,093 (GASPS) 1344 01:09:46,633 --> 01:09:48,968 Ethel. Are you all right? 1345 01:09:49,001 --> 01:09:50,637 Uh... Oh. 1346 01:09:51,738 --> 01:09:52,738 Well. 1347 01:10:05,217 --> 01:10:06,886 I just can't understand 1348 01:10:06,919 --> 01:10:09,021 how you can be so unconcerned about all this. 1349 01:10:09,055 --> 01:10:10,122 I really... Unconcerned? 1350 01:10:11,524 --> 01:10:12,935 Do you think I'm gonna get one wink of sleep 1351 01:10:12,959 --> 01:10:15,528 until that phone rings tomorrow? 1352 01:10:15,562 --> 01:10:18,197 I'm scared to death for my mother. 1353 01:10:18,230 --> 01:10:21,400 And I'm grateful there's finally something to be scared about. 1354 01:10:22,469 --> 01:10:24,604 What I'm really concerned about is you. 1355 01:10:26,839 --> 01:10:28,107 Me? Me? 1356 01:10:29,842 --> 01:10:33,580 Yeah. I'm beginning to wonder if you're capable of having a good time. 1357 01:10:33,613 --> 01:10:35,848 Why? Because I like to wear my gloves in winter? 1358 01:10:35,882 --> 01:10:38,117 No. 1359 01:10:38,150 --> 01:10:41,521 Because there isn't the least bit of adventure in you. 1360 01:10:41,554 --> 01:10:44,657 You know what you are, Paul? You're a watcher. 1361 01:10:44,691 --> 01:10:46,368 You're a watcher. There are watchers in this world, 1362 01:10:46,392 --> 01:10:47,894 and there are doers. 1363 01:10:47,927 --> 01:10:50,196 And the watchers sit around watching the doers do. 1364 01:10:51,564 --> 01:10:54,233 Well, tonight you watched, and I did. 1365 01:10:54,266 --> 01:10:56,044 Yeah, well, it was a little bit harder to watch what you did 1366 01:10:56,068 --> 01:10:57,813 than it was for you to do what I was watching. 1367 01:10:57,837 --> 01:11:00,072 You can't even relax for one evening. 1368 01:11:02,041 --> 01:11:03,786 I don't know, Paul, sometimes you act like a... 1369 01:11:03,810 --> 01:11:05,578 What? Hmm? 1370 01:11:05,612 --> 01:11:07,580 A stuffed shirt? Is that it? 1371 01:11:07,614 --> 01:11:09,357 I didn't say that. No, that's what you were implying. 1372 01:11:09,381 --> 01:11:10,593 Ah, no. That's what you're anticipating. 1373 01:11:10,617 --> 01:11:12,552 I didn't say stuffed shirt. Mmm-hmm. 1374 01:11:15,087 --> 01:11:16,727 But you're extremely proper and dignified. 1375 01:11:21,828 --> 01:11:24,263 Proper and dignified? When was I proper and dignified? 1376 01:11:24,296 --> 01:11:26,041 The other night at Delfino's, you were drunk, right? 1377 01:11:26,065 --> 01:11:27,500 Right. I was stoned. 1378 01:11:27,534 --> 01:11:29,435 Exactly. I didn't even know it 1379 01:11:29,468 --> 01:11:31,170 until you told me in the morning. 1380 01:11:34,206 --> 01:11:36,108 I mean, you're a funny kind of drunk, Paul. 1381 01:11:36,142 --> 01:11:38,811 You just sat around looking unhappy, watching your coat. 1382 01:11:39,445 --> 01:11:40,780 I was watching my coat 1383 01:11:40,813 --> 01:11:43,550 because I saw someone else watching my coat. 1384 01:11:43,583 --> 01:11:45,293 Look, if you want, I'll get drunk for you sometime, 1385 01:11:45,317 --> 01:11:46,452 make your hair stand on end. 1386 01:11:46,485 --> 01:11:47,987 (WHILE BRUSHING) It isn't necessary. 1387 01:11:48,020 --> 01:11:49,431 Do you know that in Harry's bar last New Year's Eve, 1388 01:11:49,455 --> 01:11:51,090 I punched an old woman? 1389 01:11:51,123 --> 01:11:52,224 Don't tell me about drunk. 1390 01:11:56,829 --> 01:11:58,669 When else? When else was I proper and dignified? 1391 01:11:59,866 --> 01:12:01,801 All the time. 1392 01:12:01,834 --> 01:12:03,712 You're always dressed right. You always look right. 1393 01:12:03,736 --> 01:12:05,504 You always say the right thing. 1394 01:12:06,505 --> 01:12:07,907 You're very nearly perfect. 1395 01:12:09,308 --> 01:12:11,744 That's a rotten thing to say. 1396 01:12:11,778 --> 01:12:13,589 Before we were married, I thought you slept with a tie. 1397 01:12:13,613 --> 01:12:15,281 No, just for very formal sleeps. 1398 01:12:16,916 --> 01:12:19,619 Boy, you have absolutely no sense of the ridiculous. 1399 01:12:19,652 --> 01:12:21,087 Like last Thursday night, 1400 01:12:21,120 --> 01:12:23,723 you wouldn't walk barefoot with me in Washington Square Park. 1401 01:12:23,756 --> 01:12:25,300 Why not? Simple answer. It was 17 degrees. 1402 01:12:25,324 --> 01:12:26,893 Exactly. 1403 01:12:26,926 --> 01:12:28,527 It's very logical, it's very sensible, 1404 01:12:28,561 --> 01:12:30,029 and it's no fun. 1405 01:12:31,130 --> 01:12:32,364 Maybe you're right. 1406 01:12:32,398 --> 01:12:35,067 Maybe I am a little bit too proper and dignified for you. 1407 01:12:35,101 --> 01:12:36,703 Maybe you would've been happier 1408 01:12:36,736 --> 01:12:38,480 with somebody a little bit more colorful and flamboyant. 1409 01:12:38,504 --> 01:12:39,939 Like the geek. 1410 01:12:39,972 --> 01:12:42,441 Well, it'd be a lot more laughs than a stuffed shirt. 1411 01:12:42,474 --> 01:12:43,442 I thought you said I wasn't. 1412 01:12:43,475 --> 01:12:44,744 Well, you are now. 1413 01:12:46,613 --> 01:12:48,047 I'm not going to listen to this. 1414 01:12:48,080 --> 01:12:50,458 I'm not gonna listen to this, I have a case in court in the morning. 1415 01:12:50,482 --> 01:12:51,784 Where are you going? To sleep. 1416 01:12:51,818 --> 01:12:53,820 Now? How can you go to sleep now? 1417 01:12:53,853 --> 01:12:56,789 I'm gonna close my eyes and count knichis. Good night, dear. 1418 01:12:56,823 --> 01:12:59,191 You cannot go to sleep now, Paul. We're having a fight. 1419 01:12:59,225 --> 01:13:00,736 Well, you have the fight. When you're through, 1420 01:13:00,760 --> 01:13:02,528 would you turn off these lights, please? 1421 01:13:02,561 --> 01:13:04,563 Oh, that gets me absolutely insane! 1422 01:13:04,597 --> 01:13:06,465 You can even control your emotions! 1423 01:13:06,498 --> 01:13:09,201 No, no, now. I'm just as upset as you are. 1424 01:13:09,235 --> 01:13:11,804 But when I get hungry, I eat. When I get tired, I sleep. 1425 01:13:11,838 --> 01:13:14,173 And you eat and sleep too. Don't deny it, I've seen you. 1426 01:13:14,206 --> 01:13:15,942 Not in middle of a crisis. 1427 01:13:15,975 --> 01:13:18,044 What crisis? We're just yelling. 1428 01:13:18,077 --> 01:13:20,046 You don't consider this a crisis? 1429 01:13:20,079 --> 01:13:21,914 Our whole marriage is hanging in the balance. 1430 01:13:22,849 --> 01:13:25,384 It is? When did this happen? 1431 01:13:25,417 --> 01:13:27,787 Just now. It has suddenly become very clear to me 1432 01:13:27,820 --> 01:13:30,256 that you and I have absolutely nothing in common. 1433 01:13:30,289 --> 01:13:32,992 Why, because I won't go walking barefoot in the park? 1434 01:13:33,025 --> 01:13:35,337 You don't have a case, Corie. Adultery, yes, but cold feet, no. 1435 01:13:35,361 --> 01:13:36,729 Don't you oversimplify this. 1436 01:13:36,763 --> 01:13:38,631 I am angry, Paul. Can't you see that? 1437 01:13:39,065 --> 01:13:42,601 It's 2:15. 1438 01:13:42,635 --> 01:13:45,471 If I can get to sleep in half an hour, I can get about five hours sleep. 1439 01:13:45,504 --> 01:13:47,816 I'll call you from court tomorrow, and we'll fight over the phone. Hmm? 1440 01:13:47,840 --> 01:13:49,241 You will not go to sleep, Paul. 1441 01:13:49,275 --> 01:13:52,544 You will stay here and fight to save our marriage! 1442 01:13:52,578 --> 01:13:55,181 If our marriage hinges on those fishbowls and pelmenchki, 1443 01:13:55,214 --> 01:13:56,415 it is not worth saving. 1444 01:13:56,448 --> 01:13:59,318 Now, dear, I'm crawling into our tiny little single bed. 1445 01:13:59,351 --> 01:14:01,797 If you care to join me, we're sleeping from left to right tonight. 1446 01:14:01,821 --> 01:14:04,556 You won't discuss it! You're afraid to discuss it! 1447 01:14:04,590 --> 01:14:06,726 I married a coward! 1448 01:14:06,759 --> 01:14:09,561 Would you bring in a pail? The closet's dripping. 1449 01:14:09,595 --> 01:14:11,898 Oh, I hate you! I really, really hate you! 1450 01:14:11,931 --> 01:14:14,667 Listen! All right, wait a minute, Corie. 1451 01:14:14,701 --> 01:14:15,911 There's one thing I've learned in court. 1452 01:14:15,935 --> 01:14:17,603 Be careful when you're tired and angry. 1453 01:14:17,636 --> 01:14:19,181 You may say something you will soon regret. 1454 01:14:19,205 --> 01:14:20,339 I am now tired and angry. 1455 01:14:20,372 --> 01:14:21,808 And a coward! 1456 01:14:22,775 --> 01:14:24,210 Listen, maybe you're right then. 1457 01:14:24,243 --> 01:14:26,679 Maybe we don't have anything in common. 1458 01:14:26,713 --> 01:14:29,415 Maybe two people should have more than just a blood test first. 1459 01:14:29,448 --> 01:14:31,884 Maybe they should be checked first for a little common sense, 1460 01:14:31,918 --> 01:14:34,020 understanding, and emotional maturity! 1461 01:14:35,254 --> 01:14:37,289 All right. 1462 01:14:37,323 --> 01:14:40,092 Why don't you get it passed by the Supreme Court? 1463 01:14:40,126 --> 01:14:42,537 Only those couples bearing a certificate from their psychiatrist 1464 01:14:42,561 --> 01:14:45,397 proving that they're emotionally mature can be married. 1465 01:14:47,033 --> 01:14:48,835 Oh, listen... Don't touch me! 1466 01:14:51,270 --> 01:14:54,140 Don't you lay a finger on me! I can't stand having you near me! 1467 01:14:54,173 --> 01:14:55,884 What? I don't even want to be in the same room with you! 1468 01:14:55,908 --> 01:14:57,609 What's going on here? You're hysterical. 1469 01:14:57,643 --> 01:14:59,645 I am not hysterical! 1470 01:14:59,678 --> 01:15:01,413 I know exactly what I'm saying, Paul. 1471 01:15:01,447 --> 01:15:03,215 It's all over between us. 1472 01:15:03,249 --> 01:15:05,785 And it's never going to be any good anymore. 1473 01:15:05,818 --> 01:15:07,586 (MUTTERING) I'm sorry. I don't want to cry. 1474 01:15:07,619 --> 01:15:09,155 Cry, please. Go ahead. 1475 01:15:09,188 --> 01:15:11,323 Don't you tell me when to cry! 1476 01:15:11,357 --> 01:15:14,326 I'm gonna cry when I feel like crying. (SNIFFLES) 1477 01:15:14,360 --> 01:15:17,096 And I'm not gonna have my cry until you are out of this apartment. 1478 01:15:17,129 --> 01:15:18,729 What do you mean "out of this apartment"? 1479 01:15:20,099 --> 01:15:21,567 Well, you certainly don't think 1480 01:15:21,600 --> 01:15:23,111 we're going to live here anymore, do you? 1481 01:15:23,135 --> 01:15:24,135 After this? 1482 01:15:24,804 --> 01:15:26,105 Are you serious? 1483 01:15:26,138 --> 01:15:28,474 Of course I'm serious, Paul! I want a divorce! 1484 01:15:29,175 --> 01:15:30,709 Divorce! 1485 01:15:30,743 --> 01:15:32,320 I'm sorry, Paul. I can't discuss it anymore. 1486 01:15:32,344 --> 01:15:33,379 Where are you going? 1487 01:15:33,412 --> 01:15:34,881 To bed. 1488 01:15:34,914 --> 01:15:37,116 You can't, not now. You did before. 1489 01:15:37,149 --> 01:15:40,286 In the middle of a fight, this is in the middle of a divorce. 1490 01:15:40,319 --> 01:15:42,530 I'm sorry, Paul. I can't talk to you when you are hysterical. 1491 01:15:42,554 --> 01:15:44,356 I want to know why you want a divorce. 1492 01:15:47,493 --> 01:15:48,493 Huh? 1493 01:15:50,729 --> 01:15:51,898 Why? 1494 01:15:54,333 --> 01:15:56,803 Because you and I have absolutely nothing in common. 1495 01:15:56,836 --> 01:15:58,370 Nothing in common? 1496 01:16:00,039 --> 01:16:02,141 What about the six days at The Plaza, Corie? 1497 01:16:03,175 --> 01:16:04,977 Six days does not a week make. 1498 01:16:07,346 --> 01:16:08,948 What does that mean? 1499 01:16:11,818 --> 01:16:13,185 I don't know! 1500 01:16:14,520 --> 01:16:16,122 I don't know what it means. 1501 01:16:19,325 --> 01:16:21,360 All I know is that I want a divorce. 1502 01:16:26,065 --> 01:16:27,834 You know, I think you mean it. 1503 01:16:27,867 --> 01:16:29,301 You mean this? 1504 01:16:29,635 --> 01:16:30,803 I do. 1505 01:16:32,104 --> 01:16:33,239 I really do. 1506 01:16:35,274 --> 01:16:36,508 (SNIFFLING) 1507 01:16:37,743 --> 01:16:40,012 That's just... Great. 1508 01:16:42,815 --> 01:16:44,050 (SOBBING) 1509 01:16:47,954 --> 01:16:49,754 I thought you weren't going to cry. Well, I am! 1510 01:16:51,323 --> 01:16:52,801 I'm gonna cry, I'm going to have the biggest cry 1511 01:16:52,825 --> 01:16:54,793 I've ever had in my whole life, 1512 01:16:54,827 --> 01:16:56,528 and I'm going to enjoy it! 1513 01:16:57,596 --> 01:16:59,165 Because I'm gonna cry so hard 1514 01:16:59,198 --> 01:17:01,033 I'm gonna keep you awake all night. 1515 01:17:02,068 --> 01:17:04,303 Good night, Paul. I mean, goodbye. 1516 01:17:18,617 --> 01:17:19,919 (MUTTERING) 1517 01:17:28,294 --> 01:17:29,962 (CORIE SOBBING) 1518 01:17:37,503 --> 01:17:39,371 "Six days does not a week make." 1519 01:17:40,506 --> 01:17:42,141 (TELEPHONE RINGING) 1520 01:17:50,216 --> 01:17:52,518 Here, it's for you. I don't live here anymore. 1521 01:17:53,519 --> 01:17:54,586 (RINGING STOPS) 1522 01:17:57,856 --> 01:17:59,358 Fine. Fine. 1523 01:18:01,793 --> 01:18:05,064 You work and work for a lousy 6 cents. (MUTTERING ANGRILY) 1524 01:18:06,933 --> 01:18:08,467 Doesn't matter. I don't care. 1525 01:18:12,604 --> 01:18:13,940 (MUTTERING) 1526 01:18:17,243 --> 01:18:19,078 I don't know why I even bother. 1527 01:18:19,111 --> 01:18:20,511 There's just no sense, there's no... 1528 01:18:56,983 --> 01:18:58,484 (SNEEZING) 1529 01:19:01,353 --> 01:19:03,755 One pound of grapes. Anything else? 1530 01:19:03,789 --> 01:19:05,257 No, thank you. (SNIFFLING) 1531 01:19:14,833 --> 01:19:16,102 (SNEEZES) 1532 01:19:18,004 --> 01:19:19,405 God bless him. 1533 01:19:22,474 --> 01:19:24,452 If that's for tonight, you needn't bother. I have my own dinner. 1534 01:19:24,476 --> 01:19:26,312 I thought you were moving out. 1535 01:19:26,345 --> 01:19:28,747 I haven't had a chance to look for a room yet. 1536 01:19:28,780 --> 01:19:30,916 I work during the day, you know. 1537 01:19:30,949 --> 01:19:32,918 You'll look tonight. 1538 01:19:32,951 --> 01:19:34,953 I happen to be coming down with a cold. 1539 01:19:34,987 --> 01:19:36,722 That's why I'm home early. 1540 01:19:36,755 --> 01:19:39,691 I just thought I'd take a couple of aspirins and get right into the sofa. 1541 01:19:43,262 --> 01:19:45,797 I'm sure you can find someplace. 1542 01:19:45,831 --> 01:19:47,266 You could stay at your club. 1543 01:19:47,299 --> 01:19:49,335 It's not that kind of a club. 1544 01:19:49,368 --> 01:19:52,138 It's a locker room and a handball court. 1545 01:19:52,171 --> 01:19:54,606 To sleep over, I'd have to keep winning the serve. 1546 01:19:56,042 --> 01:19:58,044 Hello, Mrs. Bratter, Mr. Bratter. 1547 01:19:58,077 --> 01:19:59,078 How's every little thing? 1548 01:19:59,745 --> 01:20:01,247 The little things are fine. 1549 01:20:02,081 --> 01:20:03,582 Shall I charge it, Mr. Bratter? 1550 01:20:03,615 --> 01:20:06,052 Charge it to Mrs. Bratter. It's a new account. 1551 01:20:06,552 --> 01:20:08,154 The grapes are his. 1552 01:20:15,161 --> 01:20:17,063 (CUTLERY CLINKING) 1553 01:20:24,336 --> 01:20:26,138 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) It's open! 1554 01:20:28,774 --> 01:20:30,242 Hi. (PANTING) Hello again. 1555 01:20:31,143 --> 01:20:32,711 Phone's out of order. 1556 01:20:32,744 --> 01:20:34,780 Yeah. I know. 1557 01:20:34,813 --> 01:20:36,648 I wouldn't be up here on a social call. 1558 01:20:37,783 --> 01:20:40,452 Hey, you did a real nice job. 1559 01:20:40,486 --> 01:20:41,887 Thank you. 1560 01:20:41,920 --> 01:20:43,031 Know anybody that might want to rent it? 1561 01:20:43,055 --> 01:20:45,424 Rent it? You moving already? 1562 01:20:45,457 --> 01:20:47,259 Yeah, I'm looking for a smaller place. 1563 01:20:48,460 --> 01:20:50,896 Smaller than this, they're not easy to find. (CHUCKLES) 1564 01:20:50,929 --> 01:20:52,664 So, how do you like married life? 1565 01:20:54,032 --> 01:20:55,501 Very interesting. 1566 01:20:58,270 --> 01:20:59,938 Hello. I'm the telephone man. 1567 01:20:59,971 --> 01:21:01,507 I'm the husband. 1568 01:21:04,510 --> 01:21:06,778 Well, let's see what's wrong with the phone. 1569 01:21:26,832 --> 01:21:27,832 It's dead. 1570 01:21:28,967 --> 01:21:30,802 I know. It was murdered last night. 1571 01:21:36,308 --> 01:21:39,044 I'll be out of here as fast as I can. 1572 01:21:39,077 --> 01:21:41,347 Take your time. Nobody's rushing you. 1573 01:21:48,587 --> 01:21:50,722 Is there any beer in the house? (SNIFFLES) 1574 01:21:57,696 --> 01:22:00,166 I said, "Is there any beer in the house?" 1575 01:22:04,370 --> 01:22:05,671 Would you like me to look? 1576 01:22:07,072 --> 01:22:08,307 There's no beer in the house. 1577 01:22:08,907 --> 01:22:10,442 There is no beer. 1578 01:22:17,048 --> 01:22:18,350 (HARRY GASPS) 1579 01:22:22,020 --> 01:22:23,622 That's my trouble, beer. 1580 01:22:23,655 --> 01:22:26,124 I can drink 10 cans in a night of beer. 1581 01:22:28,627 --> 01:22:29,728 (HUMMING) 1582 01:22:35,000 --> 01:22:36,168 Ah. 1583 01:22:41,807 --> 01:22:42,874 (SNIFFLES) 1584 01:22:48,814 --> 01:22:50,382 My laundry come back today? 1585 01:22:56,087 --> 01:22:57,889 Yes, your laundry came back today. 1586 01:22:59,258 --> 01:23:00,759 They stuffed your shirts beautifully. 1587 01:23:03,662 --> 01:23:05,331 (WHISTLING) 1588 01:23:10,836 --> 01:23:12,371 Would you like a drink? 1589 01:23:13,004 --> 01:23:14,473 (HUMMING) 1590 01:23:15,507 --> 01:23:16,842 I said, "Would you like a drink?" 1591 01:23:17,543 --> 01:23:18,644 Who? You. 1592 01:23:18,677 --> 01:23:19,778 Me? Yeah. 1593 01:23:19,811 --> 01:23:20,811 No. Right. 1594 01:23:27,419 --> 01:23:29,120 (WHISTLING FRANTICALLY) 1595 01:23:29,154 --> 01:23:30,856 Just one more little screw will do it. 1596 01:23:32,558 --> 01:23:34,226 There. I'm finished. I'm finished. 1597 01:23:34,260 --> 01:23:35,861 (TELEPHONE RINGING) Oh! 1598 01:23:41,300 --> 01:23:43,535 Hello. Yes, it is. 1599 01:23:45,203 --> 01:23:46,938 Just a moment. It's Aunt Harriet. 1600 01:23:48,039 --> 01:23:49,159 I don't have an Aunt Harriet. 1601 01:23:54,546 --> 01:23:57,215 I guess you won't be needing me anymore. Goodbye. 1602 01:23:57,249 --> 01:23:59,318 Aunt Harriet, can you hang on a second? 1603 01:24:01,687 --> 01:24:03,221 When do I get it? 1604 01:24:03,255 --> 01:24:04,690 Get what? 1605 01:24:04,723 --> 01:24:07,058 My divorce, when do I get my divorce? 1606 01:24:07,092 --> 01:24:09,571 How should I know? They didn't even send the marriage license yet. 1607 01:24:09,595 --> 01:24:10,896 I want you out of here tonight. 1608 01:24:10,929 --> 01:24:12,998 Right now. Fine. Just great. I'll get my bag. 1609 01:24:13,031 --> 01:24:14,433 I'll pack my wet suits. 1610 01:24:14,466 --> 01:24:17,235 Hi, Aunt Harriet. Yeah, what's wrong? 1611 01:24:18,304 --> 01:24:20,339 I'll go sleep in the park, where it's dry and warm. 1612 01:24:20,372 --> 01:24:22,441 No, mother's not with me. 1613 01:24:22,474 --> 01:24:24,543 Uh-uh, she left about 2:00 this morning. 1614 01:24:25,076 --> 01:24:26,578 Yeah? What happened? 1615 01:24:27,479 --> 01:24:28,479 What? 1616 01:24:29,815 --> 01:24:30,816 Mother? 1617 01:24:31,717 --> 01:24:33,652 My mother? 1618 01:24:33,685 --> 01:24:35,887 Are you sure? What's the matter? What happened? 1619 01:24:35,921 --> 01:24:38,324 No. My phone's been out of order all day. 1620 01:24:39,491 --> 01:24:41,259 Aunt Harriet, listen. Don't get excited. 1621 01:24:41,293 --> 01:24:44,129 I'll call you back as soon as I find out anything. Yeah, goodbye. 1622 01:24:44,162 --> 01:24:45,239 What's the matter with your mother? 1623 01:24:45,263 --> 01:24:46,632 Mother didn't come home last night. 1624 01:24:46,665 --> 01:24:48,033 God, her bed hasn't been slept in. 1625 01:24:48,066 --> 01:24:49,635 I'm gonna call the police. 1626 01:24:49,668 --> 01:24:52,037 Take it easy. Just take it easy. There's nothing to be... 1627 01:24:52,070 --> 01:24:55,073 Don't you understand? Mother wasn't in her bedroom this morning. 1628 01:24:55,106 --> 01:24:56,408 Maybe her back was bothering her, 1629 01:24:56,442 --> 01:24:57,585 and she fell asleep on the ironing board. 1630 01:24:57,609 --> 01:24:59,711 Oh, would you just go away? Just go away. 1631 01:25:01,380 --> 01:25:03,958 Where are you going? Upstairs to find out what happened to my mother. 1632 01:25:03,982 --> 01:25:05,351 And you better not come back 1633 01:25:05,384 --> 01:25:07,185 'cause I'm buying a big dog tomorrow. 1634 01:25:07,218 --> 01:25:09,020 That's fine, just fine. 1635 01:25:09,054 --> 01:25:11,299 Now you'll have somebody to walk barefoot in the park with. 1636 01:25:11,323 --> 01:25:14,092 (LAUGHS) A dog. That's a laugh. 1637 01:25:14,125 --> 01:25:16,362 Wait till she tries to take him out for a walk, 1638 01:25:16,395 --> 01:25:18,835 he'll get one look at those stairs and go right for her throat. 1639 01:25:23,569 --> 01:25:25,437 Mr. Velasco, can I see you for a minute? 1640 01:25:25,471 --> 01:25:28,206 Here is a dog. A little doggie. 1641 01:25:28,239 --> 01:25:30,909 Fortunately, I don't need anybody to protect me, sweetheart, 1642 01:25:30,942 --> 01:25:35,246 because I am a man, independent, mature, 1643 01:25:35,280 --> 01:25:37,383 self-sufficient man... (SNEEZES) 1644 01:25:38,149 --> 01:25:39,785 Oh! God bless me. 1645 01:25:41,286 --> 01:25:43,689 I've probably got the flu. Yeah. 1646 01:25:45,090 --> 01:25:46,858 Chills, fever, sweating. 1647 01:25:48,494 --> 01:25:50,662 Probably have the 24-hour virus. 1648 01:25:53,465 --> 01:25:55,601 Better tomorrow at quarter to 4:00. 1649 01:25:57,903 --> 01:25:58,937 Oh! 1650 01:26:00,038 --> 01:26:01,573 Thanks. Thanks a lot, pal. 1651 01:26:02,508 --> 01:26:04,976 And thus it was written. 1652 01:26:05,010 --> 01:26:08,346 "Some shall die by pestilence, some by the plague..." 1653 01:26:08,380 --> 01:26:10,860 And one poor schnook is gonna get it from a hole in the ceiling. 1654 01:26:14,052 --> 01:26:15,887 (SIGHS) That's it. That's it. 1655 01:26:19,024 --> 01:26:20,726 Bye, leaky closet. 1656 01:26:22,428 --> 01:26:23,929 Bye, no bathtub. 1657 01:26:25,163 --> 01:26:26,498 Bye, hole. 1658 01:26:28,099 --> 01:26:29,701 Goodbye, six flights. 1659 01:26:30,836 --> 01:26:32,337 Oh! Goodbye, Corie. 1660 01:26:32,370 --> 01:26:34,440 Oh, no goodbye? 1661 01:26:34,473 --> 01:26:36,193 According to law, I'm entitled to... Goodbye! 1662 01:26:37,676 --> 01:26:39,044 (SOBBING) 1663 01:26:39,077 --> 01:26:40,746 What? Is it your mother? 1664 01:26:41,847 --> 01:26:43,615 Corie, what is it, an accident? 1665 01:26:43,649 --> 01:26:45,984 Corie, for Pete's sake, what's it about? 1666 01:26:46,017 --> 01:26:48,253 Daughter, listen, it's not the way it looks at all. 1667 01:26:48,286 --> 01:26:49,455 Good God. 1668 01:26:50,822 --> 01:26:52,958 Corie, you've got to believe me. 1669 01:26:52,991 --> 01:26:54,493 Somebody believe me. 1670 01:26:58,296 --> 01:26:59,598 I warned her. 1671 01:27:01,266 --> 01:27:03,334 I warned her, and I was right. 1672 01:27:03,368 --> 01:27:05,737 He warned me, and he was right. 1673 01:27:05,771 --> 01:27:07,405 It must have been the drinks, Corie. 1674 01:27:07,439 --> 01:27:09,274 I had a great deal to drink last night. 1675 01:27:09,307 --> 01:27:12,578 I had martinis, vodka, coffee, black bean soup, and Ouzo. 1676 01:27:16,448 --> 01:27:17,983 That's not my problem. 1677 01:27:18,016 --> 01:27:19,618 I'm well out of it now. 1678 01:27:22,654 --> 01:27:23,655 Ah! 1679 01:27:35,734 --> 01:27:38,937 And after I fell, Victor picked me up and carried me inside. 1680 01:27:38,970 --> 01:27:41,907 I couldn't walk because my shoes fell down the sewer. 1681 01:27:41,940 --> 01:27:43,341 You don't have to explain, Mother. 1682 01:27:43,374 --> 01:27:44,743 He started to carry me up here, 1683 01:27:44,776 --> 01:27:46,778 but his hat fell over his eyes, 1684 01:27:46,812 --> 01:27:49,648 and we fell down the stairs, into apartment 3C. 1685 01:27:50,215 --> 01:27:52,117 I fell on his foot. 1686 01:27:52,150 --> 01:27:54,028 I thought we were gonna have a nice sociable evening. 1687 01:27:54,052 --> 01:27:56,321 Then Mr. Gonzales, Mr. Armandariz, and Mr. Calhoun 1688 01:27:56,354 --> 01:27:57,789 carried us both up there 1689 01:27:57,823 --> 01:28:00,158 and put us down on the rugs. 1690 01:28:00,191 --> 01:28:01,936 When I woke up in the morning Victor was gone, 1691 01:28:01,960 --> 01:28:03,962 and I was there in his bathrobe. 1692 01:28:03,995 --> 01:28:05,396 Oh, Mother! 1693 01:28:05,430 --> 01:28:07,232 I swear that's the truth, Corie! 1694 01:28:12,504 --> 01:28:14,139 (SNIFFLES) Got a cold. 1695 01:28:15,373 --> 01:28:17,108 I've had one for 20 years. 1696 01:28:17,142 --> 01:28:18,476 (SNIFFLES) 1697 01:28:24,282 --> 01:28:25,282 Ah! 1698 01:28:27,252 --> 01:28:30,021 Hey, that's a nice coat you got there. 1699 01:28:30,055 --> 01:28:31,055 What? 1700 01:28:32,323 --> 01:28:33,825 Huh? Your coat. 1701 01:28:35,794 --> 01:28:37,863 I'll make you a trade. What have you got? 1702 01:28:38,496 --> 01:28:39,731 Nothing. 1703 01:28:40,532 --> 01:28:41,967 It's a deal! 1704 01:28:44,736 --> 01:28:47,505 You must believe me. I've told you everything. 1705 01:28:47,539 --> 01:28:49,340 Then where are your clothes? 1706 01:28:49,374 --> 01:28:51,376 That I can't tell you. Why not? 1707 01:28:51,409 --> 01:28:52,486 You won't believe me. I'll believe you. 1708 01:28:52,510 --> 01:28:53,779 No, you won't. I will. 1709 01:28:53,812 --> 01:28:55,681 Mother, where are your clothes? 1710 01:28:55,714 --> 01:28:58,116 I don't know. I don't believe you. 1711 01:28:58,149 --> 01:29:00,752 Didn't I tell you you wouldn't believe me? 1712 01:29:00,786 --> 01:29:02,688 I don't know where they are. 1713 01:29:03,755 --> 01:29:06,958 Corie, I've never been so humiliated in all my life. 1714 01:29:06,992 --> 01:29:09,728 I kept having the most horrible nightmares. 1715 01:29:09,761 --> 01:29:11,830 I kept dreaming my fingers were falling off 1716 01:29:11,863 --> 01:29:13,765 because I couldn't make a fist. 1717 01:29:13,799 --> 01:29:14,866 (GASPS) 1718 01:29:16,067 --> 01:29:17,067 It's me. 1719 01:29:17,368 --> 01:29:18,670 (CRASH) 1720 01:29:23,742 --> 01:29:25,977 Mr. Velasco, are you all right? 1721 01:29:26,011 --> 01:29:28,446 If a broken toe is all right, I'm fine. 1722 01:29:28,479 --> 01:29:29,648 Hello, Ethel. Hello, Victor... 1723 01:29:29,681 --> 01:29:31,149 Mr. Victor. Mr. Velasco. 1724 01:29:31,182 --> 01:29:33,484 I couldn't get up the ladder again. 1725 01:29:33,518 --> 01:29:35,362 Ethel, did you tell Corie what happened last night? 1726 01:29:35,386 --> 01:29:36,655 Why? What happened last night? 1727 01:29:36,688 --> 01:29:37,923 Ooh, last night. Yes. 1728 01:29:37,956 --> 01:29:40,358 Yes. Take his arm, Mother. 1729 01:29:40,391 --> 01:29:43,662 I knew I would come to this, being helped by women. 1730 01:29:43,695 --> 01:29:45,764 (GROANS) Oh, dear, does your foot hurt? 1731 01:29:45,797 --> 01:29:47,666 Compared to my stomach, no. 1732 01:29:48,634 --> 01:29:50,636 I think I have a new ailment 1733 01:29:50,669 --> 01:29:53,171 which I shall call "intestinal volcano". 1734 01:29:54,005 --> 01:29:55,540 Are there little men in there 1735 01:29:55,573 --> 01:29:57,508 running around in spiked shoes? 1736 01:29:57,542 --> 01:29:59,277 And pointy steel helmets, 1737 01:29:59,310 --> 01:30:01,546 and they keep jumping up and down, up and down. 1738 01:30:01,579 --> 01:30:03,715 How long has this been going on? 1739 01:30:03,749 --> 01:30:06,785 It hardly ever happens, except after every meal. 1740 01:30:06,818 --> 01:30:08,754 I knew it. Welcome to my club. 1741 01:30:08,787 --> 01:30:10,388 I think you have an ulcer. 1742 01:30:10,421 --> 01:30:12,490 An ulcer? Me? From what? 1743 01:30:12,523 --> 01:30:15,060 Too many spicy foods. 1744 01:30:15,093 --> 01:30:17,495 You'll have to get used to taking little pink pills. 1745 01:30:17,528 --> 01:30:19,097 Oh, I'd rather die, 1746 01:30:19,130 --> 01:30:20,866 but first I must get rid of this headache. 1747 01:30:20,899 --> 01:30:23,034 Corie, do you have about 300 aspirins? 1748 01:30:25,804 --> 01:30:28,674 You know, Ethel, I don't think I'm as young as I think I am. 1749 01:30:28,707 --> 01:30:31,009 Why do you say that? Well, isn't that obvious? 1750 01:30:31,042 --> 01:30:33,444 Last night, I couldn't carry you up the stairs. 1751 01:30:33,478 --> 01:30:35,113 I can't eat rich food anymore. 1752 01:30:35,814 --> 01:30:37,115 And I dye my hair, my... 1753 01:30:37,148 --> 01:30:38,817 Well, it's very nice. Thank you. 1754 01:30:40,551 --> 01:30:42,353 So are you. 1755 01:30:42,387 --> 01:30:45,757 You know, Ethel, you are a very unusual woman. 1756 01:30:45,791 --> 01:30:47,358 Unusual? In what way? 1757 01:30:47,392 --> 01:30:49,695 VICTOR: I took a long look at you last night. 1758 01:30:49,728 --> 01:30:51,138 Do you know what you are, Ethel? What? 1759 01:30:51,162 --> 01:30:52,297 A good sport. 1760 01:30:52,330 --> 01:30:53,799 Oh, a good sport. 1761 01:30:53,832 --> 01:30:55,600 To have gone all through you did last night. 1762 01:30:55,633 --> 01:30:58,169 The trip to Staten Island, the strange food, 1763 01:30:58,203 --> 01:31:00,371 being carried up to my apartment like that. 1764 01:31:00,739 --> 01:31:02,307 (CHUCKLING) 1765 01:31:02,340 --> 01:31:04,242 If you remember, eh? 1766 01:31:04,275 --> 01:31:06,244 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1767 01:31:11,917 --> 01:31:15,520 Mr. Velasco, where are my clothes? 1768 01:31:15,553 --> 01:31:17,823 Oh, your clothes. Here. 1769 01:31:17,856 --> 01:31:20,291 I'm sure I wore more than that. 1770 01:31:20,325 --> 01:31:21,993 It's a cleaning ticket. 1771 01:31:22,027 --> 01:31:23,862 They're sending them up at 4:00. 1772 01:31:23,895 --> 01:31:25,430 Oh, they're at the cleaners. 1773 01:31:26,898 --> 01:31:28,700 When did I take them off? 1774 01:31:28,734 --> 01:31:31,536 You didn't. You were drenched and out cold. 1775 01:31:31,569 --> 01:31:33,271 Gonzales took them off. 1776 01:31:33,304 --> 01:31:35,907 Mr. Gonzales? Not Mister... Dr. Gonzales. 1777 01:31:35,941 --> 01:31:37,909 Oh, the doctor. Dr. Gonzales. 1778 01:31:37,943 --> 01:31:39,144 I guess that's all right, then. 1779 01:31:39,177 --> 01:31:41,546 How convenient to have an M.D. in the building. 1780 01:31:41,579 --> 01:31:44,082 He is not an M.D. He's a doctor of philosophy. 1781 01:31:44,115 --> 01:31:46,084 (LAUGHING) 1782 01:31:50,555 --> 01:31:52,657 Here. Aspirin. 1783 01:31:52,690 --> 01:31:54,301 No, thank you. I'm feeling much better now. 1784 01:31:54,325 --> 01:31:55,827 I'll take them. 1785 01:31:56,427 --> 01:31:58,363 Well, I must go. 1786 01:31:58,396 --> 01:32:01,032 Someone is calling about renting my apartment. 1787 01:32:01,967 --> 01:32:04,302 From now on, I take elevators. (GROANS) 1788 01:32:05,871 --> 01:32:07,591 Oh, dear, is there anything I can do for you? 1789 01:32:09,741 --> 01:32:11,977 Yes, there is. 1790 01:32:12,010 --> 01:32:14,412 Would you like to have dinner with me tonight? Me? 1791 01:32:14,445 --> 01:32:16,381 That is if you don't mind eating plain food. 1792 01:32:18,016 --> 01:32:20,919 I love plain food. Good. 1793 01:32:20,952 --> 01:32:23,421 I'll call the New York hospital for a reservation. 1794 01:32:23,454 --> 01:32:25,056 I'll pick you up at 7:00. 1795 01:32:25,090 --> 01:32:26,792 Whatever you say, Victor. 1796 01:32:28,259 --> 01:32:30,796 Now, that's funny. I was getting used to Walter. 1797 01:32:35,233 --> 01:32:37,335 You know what I could use right now? 1798 01:32:38,469 --> 01:32:39,737 A double Ouzo. 1799 01:32:43,541 --> 01:32:45,443 What I really could use is a new outfit. 1800 01:32:47,378 --> 01:32:48,980 Mother, can I talk to you? 1801 01:32:49,014 --> 01:32:51,783 Do you realize I slept without a board last night? 1802 01:32:51,817 --> 01:32:53,518 For the first time in years, 1803 01:32:53,551 --> 01:32:55,420 I slept without a board! 1804 01:32:55,453 --> 01:32:57,188 Mother... 1805 01:32:57,222 --> 01:33:00,258 You don't suppose Ouzo is some kind of a Greek miracle drug, do you? 1806 01:33:03,094 --> 01:33:05,072 Mother, there's something I've got to talk to you about. 1807 01:33:05,096 --> 01:33:06,941 Oh, Corie, how sweet of you. You're worried about me. 1808 01:33:06,965 --> 01:33:08,499 I'm not worried about you. 1809 01:33:09,734 --> 01:33:11,069 Oh, my hair. 1810 01:33:11,102 --> 01:33:13,071 I wonder what I could do with my hair? 1811 01:33:15,140 --> 01:33:16,420 Paul and I are getting a divorce. 1812 01:33:18,509 --> 01:33:20,011 A divorce? That's right. 1813 01:33:21,346 --> 01:33:23,781 Paul and I are splitting up for good. 1814 01:33:24,182 --> 01:33:25,383 You and Paul? 1815 01:33:26,417 --> 01:33:28,586 I don't believe you. 1816 01:33:28,619 --> 01:33:30,264 You saw him leaving the apartment with his suitcase. 1817 01:33:30,288 --> 01:33:32,257 What did you think he had in there? 1818 01:33:32,290 --> 01:33:34,059 I don't know, I know how neat he is. 1819 01:33:34,092 --> 01:33:35,894 I thought maybe the garbage. 1820 01:33:37,362 --> 01:33:39,464 Mother, I believe you. Why don't you believe me? 1821 01:33:40,365 --> 01:33:42,067 Because in my entire life, 1822 01:33:42,100 --> 01:33:44,340 I've never seen two people more in love than you and Paul. 1823 01:33:49,274 --> 01:33:51,142 Well, maybe that was true yesterday, 1824 01:33:52,210 --> 01:33:54,579 but it sure isn't true today. (SNIFFLES) 1825 01:33:56,982 --> 01:34:00,318 It couldn't have been all your fault. 1826 01:34:00,351 --> 01:34:05,423 No? Because of me, you were running around without your clothes 1827 01:34:05,456 --> 01:34:07,392 and Paul is out there in the streets with a cold, 1828 01:34:07,425 --> 01:34:09,494 looking for a place to sleep. 1829 01:34:09,527 --> 01:34:11,096 Whose fault is that? 1830 01:34:11,796 --> 01:34:13,031 Yours. 1831 01:34:14,332 --> 01:34:16,902 You want to know something that may shock you? 1832 01:34:16,935 --> 01:34:18,403 I still love you. 1833 01:34:19,470 --> 01:34:21,172 And Paul loves you, too. 1834 01:34:22,307 --> 01:34:23,508 And I love him. 1835 01:34:24,642 --> 01:34:26,677 I don't know what he wants. 1836 01:34:26,711 --> 01:34:28,579 I don't know how to make him happy. 1837 01:34:31,883 --> 01:34:34,452 What am I going to do, Mother? 1838 01:34:34,485 --> 01:34:37,355 That's the first time you've asked my advice since you were 10. 1839 01:34:41,859 --> 01:34:43,561 It's really very simple. 1840 01:34:45,296 --> 01:34:48,533 All you have to do is give up a little bit of you for him. 1841 01:34:49,901 --> 01:34:51,970 Don't make everything a game, 1842 01:34:52,003 --> 01:34:54,973 just late at night in that little room upstairs. 1843 01:34:55,907 --> 01:34:57,642 Take care of him. 1844 01:34:57,675 --> 01:35:00,145 Make him feel important. 1845 01:35:01,947 --> 01:35:05,483 If you can do that, you'll have a happy and wonderful marriage, 1846 01:35:05,516 --> 01:35:07,485 like two out of every 10 couples. 1847 01:35:08,987 --> 01:35:10,922 You'll be one of the two, baby. 1848 01:35:14,825 --> 01:35:16,928 Now get out of here and go find him. 1849 01:35:17,695 --> 01:35:19,197 I've got a date. 1850 01:35:21,566 --> 01:35:23,566 Aunt Harriet isn't going to believe a word of this. 1851 01:35:25,070 --> 01:35:26,313 If you don't hear from me tomorrow, 1852 01:35:26,337 --> 01:35:28,639 I'll be in the National Hotel in Mexico City, 1853 01:35:28,673 --> 01:35:30,508 room 703. (SNAPS FINGERS) 1854 01:36:40,045 --> 01:36:41,579 (PAUL LAUGHING) 1855 01:36:50,555 --> 01:36:53,058 Paul, it is you! 1856 01:36:54,792 --> 01:36:56,461 I doubt that very much. 1857 01:36:57,495 --> 01:36:58,672 I've been looking for you everywhere. 1858 01:36:58,696 --> 01:37:00,065 Oh, yeah? 1859 01:37:00,098 --> 01:37:01,732 Oh, well, you'll never find me. 1860 01:37:01,766 --> 01:37:03,000 (LAUGHING) 1861 01:37:04,702 --> 01:37:06,471 Your coat! Where's your coat? 1862 01:37:07,138 --> 01:37:10,241 Coat? I don't need a coat. 1863 01:37:11,742 --> 01:37:12,843 It's only two degrees. 1864 01:37:12,877 --> 01:37:13,877 (BOTTLE CLINKING) 1865 01:37:15,346 --> 01:37:16,714 What have you been doing? 1866 01:37:16,747 --> 01:37:20,085 Oh. (LAUGHING) 1867 01:37:21,286 --> 01:37:23,788 What have I been doing? 1868 01:37:23,821 --> 01:37:25,490 Just what have I been doing? 1869 01:37:27,024 --> 01:37:29,094 I've been walking barefoot in the park. 1870 01:37:29,727 --> 01:37:31,196 Paul, you're crazy. 1871 01:37:31,429 --> 01:37:32,429 Shh! 1872 01:37:34,665 --> 01:37:36,501 But guess what I am? 1873 01:37:37,702 --> 01:37:38,803 You're drunk. 1874 01:37:38,836 --> 01:37:40,371 Yeah! (LAUGHS) 1875 01:37:41,005 --> 01:37:42,540 You finally noticed! 1876 01:37:42,973 --> 01:37:44,475 (LAUGHING) 1877 01:37:48,012 --> 01:37:49,614 You're lousy, stinking drunk. 1878 01:37:53,084 --> 01:37:55,153 (VOCALIZING) 1879 01:37:55,186 --> 01:37:58,323 Oh, I see you still have your shoes. 1880 01:37:58,356 --> 01:38:00,325 Boy, what a stuffed shirt. 1881 01:38:04,695 --> 01:38:05,695 Paul, no! 1882 01:38:08,566 --> 01:38:09,566 Paul! 1883 01:38:14,939 --> 01:38:16,174 Paul? 1884 01:38:17,074 --> 01:38:19,076 Paul, are you all right? 1885 01:38:20,478 --> 01:38:22,447 Corie, I got to tell you something. 1886 01:38:22,480 --> 01:38:23,848 No, later. 1887 01:38:23,881 --> 01:38:25,383 No, now. I got to tell you now. 1888 01:38:25,416 --> 01:38:27,418 I got all the way down the stairs, 1889 01:38:27,918 --> 01:38:29,554 suddenly it hit me. 1890 01:38:30,955 --> 01:38:34,525 Suddenly I saw everything clearly for the first time. 1891 01:38:36,227 --> 01:38:37,828 I said to myself, "This is crazy. 1892 01:38:37,862 --> 01:38:40,265 "This is crazy. 1893 01:38:40,298 --> 01:38:43,401 "It's all wrong for me to run away like this. 1894 01:38:43,434 --> 01:38:45,703 "There's only one right thing to do." 1895 01:38:45,736 --> 01:38:47,438 Really, Paul? What? 1896 01:38:48,639 --> 01:38:49,707 You get out. 1897 01:38:49,740 --> 01:38:51,108 (LAUGHING) 1898 01:38:57,081 --> 01:38:58,449 (SNEEZING) 1899 01:39:06,924 --> 01:39:09,527 Why should I get out? The lease is in my name. 1900 01:39:15,500 --> 01:39:16,801 I'm going home. 1901 01:39:21,806 --> 01:39:23,441 Drop in anytime. 1902 01:39:25,776 --> 01:39:27,345 You know my address. 1903 01:39:36,721 --> 01:39:39,557 After all, a man's home is his castle. 1904 01:39:40,891 --> 01:39:42,727 I'm home, castle. 1905 01:39:42,760 --> 01:39:45,230 Oh! Oh, still here? 1906 01:39:46,631 --> 01:39:48,633 Well, I will... 1907 01:39:49,367 --> 01:39:52,303 I will give you 10 minutes 1908 01:39:52,337 --> 01:39:55,340 to pack up your pelmenchki and go. 1909 01:39:56,707 --> 01:39:57,942 (SNEEZING) 1910 01:39:59,544 --> 01:40:01,178 Paul, you're burning up with a fever. 1911 01:40:01,212 --> 01:40:02,647 How about that? 1912 01:40:02,680 --> 01:40:04,749 You're going to get pneumonia. 1913 01:40:04,782 --> 01:40:07,184 If that's what you want, that's what I'll get. 1914 01:40:08,453 --> 01:40:10,688 Paul, would you get these shoes off? They're soaking wet. 1915 01:40:10,721 --> 01:40:12,857 I can't. My feet have swellened. 1916 01:40:12,890 --> 01:40:14,935 I never should have let you out of here. I know you had a cold. 1917 01:40:14,959 --> 01:40:16,727 Corie, I've got an idea. 1918 01:40:16,761 --> 01:40:18,596 Let's do that thing that you said before. 1919 01:40:18,629 --> 01:40:20,331 Let's go wake all the police 1920 01:40:20,365 --> 01:40:22,967 and see if they come out of the crazy neighbors. 1921 01:40:23,000 --> 01:40:25,936 This building is under arrest! Everybody out! 1922 01:40:25,970 --> 01:40:27,305 Paul... What? 1923 01:40:27,338 --> 01:40:29,340 Will you get into bed? You get in first. 1924 01:40:29,374 --> 01:40:30,675 You're sick. Not that sick. 1925 01:40:31,242 --> 01:40:32,710 No, Paul, stop it! 1926 01:40:33,678 --> 01:40:34,879 Stop it. 1927 01:40:34,912 --> 01:40:36,414 I mean it. Stop it. 1928 01:40:40,418 --> 01:40:42,353 Ha! Come here, cutie. Come on, Paul, stop it. 1929 01:40:43,187 --> 01:40:45,456 No! I'm warning you. 1930 01:40:45,490 --> 01:40:47,725 Hey, you're pretty when you're mean and rotten. 1931 01:40:47,758 --> 01:40:49,694 Paul, keep away from me! I'm gonna scream! 1932 01:40:49,727 --> 01:40:51,696 Shh! 1933 01:40:51,729 --> 01:40:53,607 There's snow on the roof. We'll have an avalanche. 1934 01:40:53,631 --> 01:40:56,267 You're not supposed to be walking around. You've got a fever. 1935 01:40:56,301 --> 01:40:57,781 Stand still, the both of you. (SHRIEKS) 1936 01:41:07,945 --> 01:41:10,348 Hey... Open this door. 1937 01:41:10,381 --> 01:41:11,982 I can't. I'm scared. 1938 01:41:12,417 --> 01:41:13,851 Of me? Yes. 1939 01:41:13,884 --> 01:41:15,686 Why? 1940 01:41:15,720 --> 01:41:19,189 'Cause it's not you anymore. I want the old Paul back. 1941 01:41:19,223 --> 01:41:21,959 (SCOFFS) That fuddy-duddy? 1942 01:41:21,992 --> 01:41:24,295 He's not a fuddy-duddy. He's strong and dependable. 1943 01:41:24,329 --> 01:41:25,830 And he takes care of me 1944 01:41:25,863 --> 01:41:27,398 and protects me from people like you. 1945 01:41:28,866 --> 01:41:31,702 I just want him to know how much I love him. 1946 01:41:31,736 --> 01:41:34,539 And I'm gonna make everything here exactly the way he wants it. 1947 01:41:34,572 --> 01:41:36,106 I'll fix the hole in the skylight 1948 01:41:36,140 --> 01:41:38,208 and the leak in the closet. 1949 01:41:38,242 --> 01:41:40,144 And I'll put in a bathtub. 1950 01:41:40,177 --> 01:41:41,822 And I'll even carry him upstairs every night, 1951 01:41:41,846 --> 01:41:43,748 'cause that's how much I love him. 1952 01:41:49,186 --> 01:41:50,355 Paul? 1953 01:41:55,225 --> 01:41:56,394 Paul? 1954 01:42:00,665 --> 01:42:01,665 Hey. 1955 01:42:05,169 --> 01:42:06,303 Paul? 1956 01:42:10,174 --> 01:42:11,275 Paul! 1957 01:42:11,308 --> 01:42:13,478 (YELPS) 1958 01:42:13,511 --> 01:42:15,413 My God, you idiot, you're gonna kill yourself! 1959 01:42:15,446 --> 01:42:16,981 Come down from there. No. 1960 01:42:18,349 --> 01:42:20,485 I want to be a nut, 1961 01:42:20,518 --> 01:42:22,653 just like everybody else in this building! 1962 01:42:22,687 --> 01:42:24,989 (SCREAMS) No. 1963 01:42:25,022 --> 01:42:27,625 No, Paul, I don't want you to be a nut. Come down, please. 1964 01:42:27,958 --> 01:42:28,958 No. 1965 01:42:30,695 --> 01:42:35,132 Not until you've said it again, loud and clear. 1966 01:42:35,165 --> 01:42:36,434 Anything, Paul, anything. 1967 01:42:37,902 --> 01:42:38,969 My husband... 1968 01:42:39,003 --> 01:42:40,337 My husband... 1969 01:42:40,938 --> 01:42:41,972 (SNEEZING) 1970 01:42:42,807 --> 01:42:43,941 Paul Bratter... 1971 01:42:43,974 --> 01:42:45,109 Paul Bratter... 1972 01:42:46,377 --> 01:42:48,278 Rising young attorney... 1973 01:42:48,312 --> 01:42:50,047 (SCREAMING) Rising young... 1974 01:42:51,916 --> 01:42:53,451 Rising young attorney... 1975 01:42:56,153 --> 01:42:58,556 Is a lousy, stinking drunk. 1976 01:42:59,356 --> 01:43:01,058 Is a lousy, stinking drunk. 1977 01:43:01,926 --> 01:43:03,093 And I love him. 1978 01:43:05,329 --> 01:43:07,432 I love you, too, Corie. 1979 01:43:08,933 --> 01:43:11,802 Even when I didn't like you, I loved you. 1980 01:43:11,836 --> 01:43:13,804 Then, Paul, would you please come down from there? 1981 01:43:19,176 --> 01:43:20,678 I can't, not now. 1982 01:43:20,711 --> 01:43:21,711 Why? 1983 01:43:22,713 --> 01:43:24,148 'Cause I'm going to be sick. 1984 01:43:24,181 --> 01:43:25,616 Oh, no! Oh, yes. 1985 01:43:27,485 --> 01:43:29,685 Don't move, Paul. I'm gonna be right up there to get you. 1986 01:43:30,621 --> 01:43:32,857 Would you do that? Because I'm getting panicky. 1987 01:43:33,558 --> 01:43:35,493 Paul, I'm coming. I'm coming. 1988 01:43:37,127 --> 01:43:39,129 Corie? Co... Corie! 1989 01:43:39,163 --> 01:43:40,397 Corie! What? 1990 01:43:40,431 --> 01:43:42,132 What, Paul, what? 1991 01:43:42,166 --> 01:43:43,534 Don't leave me. 1992 01:43:43,568 --> 01:43:45,470 Paul, listen, you're gonna be all right. 1993 01:43:45,503 --> 01:43:47,438 Just hold on tight and try to be calm. 1994 01:43:48,606 --> 01:43:50,608 How? (STAMMERING) What should I do? 1995 01:43:52,009 --> 01:43:54,211 What should he do? What should he do? 1996 01:43:54,244 --> 01:43:55,312 Sing. 1997 01:43:55,345 --> 01:43:56,747 Sing? 1998 01:43:56,781 --> 01:43:58,683 Sing, Paul. Sing as loud as you can. 1999 01:43:58,716 --> 01:44:00,785 And don't stop till I get there. 2000 01:44:00,818 --> 01:44:02,095 You promise me you'll keep singing. 2001 01:44:02,119 --> 01:44:03,921 I promise. I'll keep singing. 2002 01:44:03,954 --> 01:44:05,331 Okay, now don't stop until I get there, Paul. 2003 01:44:05,355 --> 01:44:07,492 I love you, darling. Keep singing, Paul. 2004 01:44:08,225 --> 01:44:09,225 Corie? Corie, Corie! 2005 01:44:10,194 --> 01:44:11,496 Corie! What, Paul? 2006 01:44:12,597 --> 01:44:13,631 What song should I sing? 2007 01:44:15,500 --> 01:44:16,601 Shama, shama. 2008 01:44:19,103 --> 01:44:20,638 Shama? Sing it, Paul. 2009 01:44:20,671 --> 01:44:23,440 (SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 2010 01:44:26,010 --> 01:44:27,010 Shama, shama. 2011 01:44:28,012 --> 01:44:29,914 (PAUL SINGING DRUNKENLY) 2012 01:44:37,354 --> 01:44:39,123 (CONTINUES SINGING) 2013 01:44:56,340 --> 01:44:58,175 What's happening? I don't know. 2014 01:44:58,208 --> 01:44:59,944 They're looking up at this house. 2015 01:45:12,857 --> 01:45:13,991 Oh, Paul. 2016 01:45:22,232 --> 01:45:23,701 Oh, good. They made up. 2017 01:45:33,243 --> 01:45:35,680 ♪ La la la... 2018 01:45:40,718 --> 01:45:44,855 ♪ So come along My barefoot love 2019 01:45:44,889 --> 01:45:48,058 ♪ To the fields that shine with spring 2020 01:45:48,993 --> 01:45:52,730 ♪ Though it's 10 below Let me go 2021 01:45:54,765 --> 01:45:57,234 ♪ Knee-deep in daisies with you ♪