1
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,420
[suspenseful music playing]
2
00:00:50,844 --> 00:00:52,724
It is time.
3
00:00:54,514 --> 00:01:00,524
They've reached the second crucial
turning point in their destiny.
4
00:01:00,729 --> 00:01:05,189
Their message is about to
reach millions.
5
00:01:05,483 --> 00:01:09,153
But... we will change all that.
6
00:01:10,864 --> 00:01:13,954
When our mission is successful...
7
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:18,290
...no longer will the world
be dominated...
8
00:01:18,496 --> 00:01:23,746
...by the legacy of these two fools!
9
00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:27,130
No longer will we hear this:
[guitar noise]
10
00:01:27,881 --> 00:01:29,841
We will stop them now!
11
00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:33,009
Brothers and sisters...
12
00:01:34,262 --> 00:01:36,432
...are we ready?
13
00:01:36,639 --> 00:01:37,719
[guns being cocked]
14
00:01:40,143 --> 00:01:41,523
[glass breaking]
15
00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:57,220
[electricity crackling]
[whooshing]
16
00:03:07,647 --> 00:03:11,437
Greetings, my excellent pupils.
- Station.
17
00:03:11,693 --> 00:03:15,863
Today we continue our study of the
physics of acoustical reverberation.
18
00:03:16,156 --> 00:03:19,616
I'd like you to meet today's
most non-bogus guest speakers.
19
00:03:19,784 --> 00:03:21,834
Say hello to an old friend,
Thomas Edison.
20
00:03:22,745 --> 00:03:23,705
Hello there.
21
00:03:23,955 --> 00:03:26,075
And to help us on the
musical side of things:
22
00:03:26,416 --> 00:03:28,206
Johann Sebastian Bach.
23
00:03:31,462 --> 00:03:34,472
And Sir James Martin
of Faith No More...
24
00:03:35,175 --> 00:03:39,715
...founder of the Faith No More
Spiritual and Theological Center.
25
00:03:41,014 --> 00:03:45,314
Station!
- Station!
26
00:03:45,602 --> 00:03:48,482
And a special treat
from the 23rd century:
27
00:03:48,771 --> 00:03:50,441
Miss Ria Paschelle.
28
00:03:55,278 --> 00:03:57,738
Miss Paschelle, as you all know, is
the inventor of the...
29
00:03:57,989 --> 00:04:01,529
...statiophonicoxygeneticamp-
lifiagraphiphonideliverberator.
30
00:04:01,784 --> 00:04:04,664
Kind of hard to imagine the world
before we had them, isn't it?
31
00:04:05,580 --> 00:04:10,170
OK, remember, this Friday, Ben Franklin
and Aretha Franklin will be here.
32
00:04:10,376 --> 00:04:15,336
Saturday is the field trip
to Babylonia. And very important:
33
00:04:15,632 --> 00:04:19,762
Do not do your homework without
wearing headphones...
34
00:04:19,969 --> 00:04:22,929
Repeat...
[explosions]
35
00:05:18,194 --> 00:05:21,114
De Nomolos. My old teacher.
36
00:05:21,656 --> 00:05:26,196
Rufus.
My favorite pupil.
37
00:05:27,036 --> 00:05:28,996
I thought you were...
- Dead?
38
00:05:29,664 --> 00:05:31,084
No.
39
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,920
Just in preparation.
40
00:05:36,212 --> 00:05:40,842
I worked within the system
until I could stand it no longer.
41
00:05:41,092 --> 00:05:42,892
And soon...
42
00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:49,097
...soon, the system
will never have existed.
43
00:05:50,143 --> 00:05:52,983
You won't get away with it.
- Time will tell.
44
00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:54,727
Time has told.
45
00:05:55,023 --> 00:06:00,783
I'll go back and change that,
with the aid of my secret weapons!
46
00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:07,616
How's it going, dudes?
47
00:06:26,804 --> 00:06:31,064
Friends, friends, friends.
These are automatons.
48
00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:35,482
Replicas only.
Furnished with my agenda.
49
00:06:36,272 --> 00:06:38,442
Now, what is your mission?
50
00:06:38,733 --> 00:06:43,783
First, we totally kill Bill and Ted.
- Yeah, then we take over their lives.
51
00:06:44,030 --> 00:06:46,280
Then we utterly destroy them.
52
00:06:46,491 --> 00:06:49,331
Then, at the Battle of the Bands, we give
the speech they were gonna give
53
00:06:49,535 --> 00:06:51,365
except totally different.
54
00:06:51,746 --> 00:06:55,576
And thus a new future is born.
A great future.
55
00:06:56,084 --> 00:06:58,214
Don't tell us, duder.
You programmed us.
56
00:06:58,461 --> 00:07:01,131
He's totally a robot!
- So are you, dude!
57
00:07:01,422 --> 00:07:03,262
We're total metal heads!
58
00:07:03,466 --> 00:07:04,336
[guitar noodling]
59
00:07:04,550 --> 00:07:05,970
Do shut up.
60
00:07:09,722 --> 00:07:11,102
Now.
61
00:07:11,307 --> 00:07:11,887
[guitar noodling]
62
00:07:12,058 --> 00:07:14,348
What is the fuel?
- Fear!
63
00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:17,232
What is the engine?
- Discipline!
64
00:07:17,522 --> 00:07:19,732
What is the ideal?
- Order!
65
00:07:19,982 --> 00:07:22,112
And how do we achieve it?
66
00:07:31,369 --> 00:07:32,949
Death to Bill and Ted!
67
00:07:36,374 --> 00:07:38,964
Catch you later, evil dude.
68
00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:43,916
[buttons pressing]
69
00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:54,184
[electricity crackling]
70
00:08:18,541 --> 00:08:20,421
[rock music playing]
71
00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:24,012
I am Bill S. Preston...
72
00:08:24,213 --> 00:08:25,883
...Esquire!
73
00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:32,222
This is Ted "Theodore" Logan!
74
00:08:34,891 --> 00:08:37,101
On drums and keyboards...
75
00:08:37,393 --> 00:08:40,943
...celebrating their fifth year
in the 20th century...
76
00:08:41,230 --> 00:08:44,190
...the beautiful princesses
from medieval England.
77
00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:47,152
Joanna and Elizabeth.
78
00:08:48,613 --> 00:08:49,823
And we are...
79
00:08:50,948 --> 00:08:53,278
...Wyld Stallyns.
80
00:08:53,493 --> 00:08:55,243
[band noise]
81
00:08:56,662 --> 00:08:57,582
Guys!
82
00:08:57,788 --> 00:09:01,208
You keep telling me you're gonna be
the greatest band in the world, but you stink.
83
00:09:01,417 --> 00:09:02,537
Yeah.
84
00:09:02,752 --> 00:09:04,632
We don't understand it either.
85
00:09:04,837 --> 00:09:07,087
I mean, you can't sing.
86
00:09:07,340 --> 00:09:11,970
The girls can play. But you guys?
- Girls mature faster than guys.
87
00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:14,681
Plus, they started
in the 15th century.
88
00:09:15,014 --> 00:09:16,184
What do you mean?
89
00:09:16,432 --> 00:09:19,732
They're from medieval England.
- Ted, shut up.
90
00:09:20,228 --> 00:09:22,018
Medieval England, Iowa.
91
00:09:22,271 --> 00:09:24,361
Guys, the point is the
Battle of the Bands is
92
00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:26,685
the biggest event for
new groups in the area.
93
00:09:26,943 --> 00:09:29,653
We're talking
about a $25,000 first prize...
94
00:09:29,904 --> 00:09:32,204
...a two-year record deal
and a chance to be seen by
95
00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:34,076
the most important people
in the business.
96
00:09:34,283 --> 00:09:37,253
I mean, we've even got
live coverage on Channel 12.
97
00:09:37,453 --> 00:09:40,373
Now, if you were me,
would you put you guys on?
98
00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:41,753
No way.
99
00:09:43,084 --> 00:09:46,804
However, since you guys do work for
Pretzels 'N' Cheese, I'll give you a shot.
100
00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:48,634
Excellent!
101
00:09:49,257 --> 00:09:50,507
[guitar noodling]
102
00:09:50,716 --> 00:09:56,056
But last. Midnight. Probably by that
time, everyone will be gone home.
103
00:09:56,264 --> 00:09:58,814
That's all right. I mean,
we're used to that.
104
00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:02,440
Yeah, we fully cleaned out Ted's little
brother's junior high school dance.
105
00:10:02,687 --> 00:10:06,147
They totally turned on "La Bamba"
while he was playing his solo.
106
00:10:06,357 --> 00:10:08,147
Shut up, Ted!
107
00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:12,452
Guys, do yourself a favor.
Prepare a little.
108
00:10:12,655 --> 00:10:15,655
Work on your act.
I mean, think of something.
109
00:10:15,908 --> 00:10:19,198
Don't worry, Ms. Wardroe.
We won't let you down.
110
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:27,920
Dude, we gotta win at that concert.
- Yeah, then we could finally propose to the ladies.
111
00:10:28,087 --> 00:10:28,917
I know.
112
00:10:29,130 --> 00:10:32,800
There's no way we can raise a family on the
money we make at Pretzels 'N' Cheese, dude.
113
00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:37,142
I'll call Missy, tell her
we're on our way.
114
00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:40,636
Should be a most resplendent
birthday party.
115
00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:45,273
Shall we, ladies?
- Great, sure.
116
00:10:47,857 --> 00:10:50,147
♪ [rock music playing] ♪
117
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:09,300
So I understand you two have a little
something else to celebrate tonight.
118
00:11:09,879 --> 00:11:12,339
We got into the Battle of the Bands.
119
00:11:13,424 --> 00:11:14,304
Yeah!
- Yeah!
120
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:18,100
If we win, I can totally
pay you back the money I owe you.
121
00:11:18,304 --> 00:11:20,354
And what if you don't win?
122
00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:26,691
Well, um, I guess...
123
00:11:29,982 --> 00:11:31,072
Maybe sell some more blood.
124
00:11:31,275 --> 00:11:34,605
Perhaps you should think about
selling a couple of the instruments.
125
00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:38,702
Of course, we've always got
a spot for you, Ted.
126
00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:43,450
You remember my old friend, Colonel
Oats from the Alaskan Military School?
127
00:11:44,997 --> 00:11:46,417
Oh, um...
128
00:11:48,793 --> 00:11:50,383
"How's it going?", Ted?
- Yeah.
129
00:11:50,628 --> 00:11:52,418
Splendidly.
130
00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:55,091
Remember...
131
00:11:55,341 --> 00:11:57,931
...it's not too late for you, Ted.
132
00:12:00,805 --> 00:12:01,675
Yeah.
133
00:12:03,391 --> 00:12:04,181
Whoa.
134
00:12:04,517 --> 00:12:05,977
For either of you.
135
00:12:07,103 --> 00:12:09,193
For all four of you.
136
00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:11,360
[laughing]
137
00:12:17,405 --> 00:12:19,025
Fresh fudge.
138
00:12:20,282 --> 00:12:22,282
Hi, Oatsie.
- Hi.
139
00:12:23,619 --> 00:12:24,869
Darling.
140
00:12:26,622 --> 00:12:28,332
Hi, guys.
- Hi, Missy.
141
00:12:28,582 --> 00:12:31,212
Hey, Missy.
I mean, Mom.
142
00:12:36,549 --> 00:12:39,639
I can't believe Missy
divorced your dad...
143
00:12:39,844 --> 00:12:41,474
...and married mine.
144
00:12:42,471 --> 00:12:44,011
Shut up, Ted.
145
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:52,480
Your dad looks bad.
- I know.
146
00:12:54,483 --> 00:12:55,653
What's next?
147
00:12:55,943 --> 00:13:00,783
Maybe she'll marry you.
- Yeah, then you'll be your own stepdad.
148
00:13:05,578 --> 00:13:08,288
You've probably noticed we
haven't given you our gifts yet.
149
00:13:08,497 --> 00:13:11,957
Yeah. That's because...
150
00:13:14,378 --> 00:13:16,668
Uh... well...
151
00:13:17,757 --> 00:13:20,717
That's because what we
wanted to say was, uh...
152
00:13:22,762 --> 00:13:26,352
well... uh...
153
00:13:29,143 --> 00:13:30,353
Excuse us, dude.
154
00:13:40,112 --> 00:13:41,702
I wrote this myself.
155
00:13:41,906 --> 00:13:43,986
I wrote this last night.
156
00:13:49,163 --> 00:13:50,123
"Elizabeth..."
157
00:13:50,414 --> 00:13:51,334
"Joanna...
158
00:13:53,125 --> 00:13:56,545
...as I wander through this dark
and lonely forest of life..."
159
00:13:56,754 --> 00:13:59,094
"...surrounded by various beasts..."
160
00:13:59,340 --> 00:14:02,380
"...bears, vipers, squirrels..."
161
00:14:02,593 --> 00:14:05,103
"Not to mention barnacles
and algae..."
162
00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:09,351
"...man-of-wars, starfish,
blowfish, catfish..."
163
00:14:09,934 --> 00:14:11,774
Oh, no, that's freshwater.
164
00:14:12,812 --> 00:14:16,942
The point is, I know we promised you
a better life than this.
165
00:14:18,442 --> 00:14:23,322
What I mean to say is, I realize
when we took you out of England...
166
00:14:23,531 --> 00:14:26,951
...we said the future held
some really good stuff.
167
00:14:27,201 --> 00:14:30,331
Although stuff hasn't
worked out the way we thought...
168
00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:33,958
...it will, we hope.
169
00:14:35,543 --> 00:14:37,963
The day after tomorrow,
if things work out...
170
00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:40,802
What this is about is...
171
00:14:48,848 --> 00:14:50,518
Will you...?
- Marry us?
172
00:14:57,481 --> 00:14:59,281
Theodore...
- I'd love to.
173
00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:19,589
[guitar noodling]
174
00:15:22,381 --> 00:15:23,381
Yeah!
175
00:15:26,510 --> 00:15:28,100
[lightning crackles]
176
00:15:36,854 --> 00:15:38,814
♪ [suspenseful music] ♪
177
00:15:40,733 --> 00:15:45,403
Aim for the cat, dude! Aim for the cat!
- I'm trying, Evil Ted! I'm trying!
178
00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:50,031
[electricity crackling]
[crash]
179
00:15:50,284 --> 00:15:51,954
Aw, just missed!
180
00:16:02,171 --> 00:16:06,221
Not bad.
- Yeah, let's make it bad.
181
00:16:06,425 --> 00:16:08,335
[laughing]
182
00:16:15,643 --> 00:16:17,313
[electronic beeping]
183
00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:18,981
We're here, dude.
184
00:16:20,064 --> 00:16:21,404
Is Rufus with you?
185
00:16:22,733 --> 00:16:23,693
One second.
186
00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:39,332
Looks like we lost him in the
circuits of time, duder.
187
00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:42,883
Good.
Then he's gone forever.
188
00:16:43,087 --> 00:16:46,467
Our first act of business:
189
00:16:46,674 --> 00:16:49,894
Destroy that ridiculous,
insipid band!
190
00:16:50,552 --> 00:16:52,392
You got it, dude!
191
00:16:53,347 --> 00:16:54,557
Get to work.
192
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:57,520
Now!
193
00:16:57,768 --> 00:16:59,438
Study these books well.
194
00:16:59,603 --> 00:17:02,193
When my mission is completed...
195
00:17:02,481 --> 00:17:05,191
...this will be the new history.
196
00:17:06,694 --> 00:17:08,154
What a shithead.
197
00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:15,202
Bye!
- Bye!
198
00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:17,873
Drive safe!
199
00:17:19,415 --> 00:17:20,365
Dude.
- What?
200
00:17:20,624 --> 00:17:24,044
I wonder if after we're married,
the princesses will stay over with us?
201
00:17:24,253 --> 00:17:26,713
Yeah, our girlfriends are
most chaste.
202
00:17:26,922 --> 00:17:29,882
Yeah. At least they're not dating our dads.
- Good point, dude.
203
00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:31,890
Yeah.
[telephone rings]
204
00:17:36,682 --> 00:17:39,272
Hello?
- Hello, Bill. This is Joanna.
205
00:17:39,518 --> 00:17:42,478
Hey, Joanna! How'd you
call us so fast?
206
00:17:42,771 --> 00:17:44,821
It's not important. This is:
207
00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:49,357
Elizabeth and I have spoken, and we've
decided we're quitting Wyld Stallyns.
208
00:17:49,570 --> 00:17:50,530
What?
209
00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:51,859
Yes!
- Why?
210
00:17:52,114 --> 00:17:55,034
We think you're losers and
we never want to see you again.
211
00:17:55,284 --> 00:17:56,204
No way!
212
00:17:56,410 --> 00:17:58,660
We're going to the desert to be alone.
213
00:17:59,288 --> 00:18:01,998
But...
- It's over. Goodbye.
214
00:18:09,381 --> 00:18:14,091
I totally fooled those other usses.
- Yeah, they're completely brilliant.
215
00:18:14,303 --> 00:18:15,353
Not!
216
00:18:15,554 --> 00:18:16,264
[guitar noodling]
217
00:18:16,472 --> 00:18:18,852
Let's fitch the booth and start phase two.
- Station.
218
00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:21,350
[buttons pressing]
219
00:18:30,402 --> 00:18:34,782
[electronic beeping]
[electricity crackling]
220
00:18:43,707 --> 00:18:44,827
[guitar noodling]
221
00:18:47,586 --> 00:18:50,256
An incredible fortune in stones.
222
00:18:51,882 --> 00:18:54,802
Yet I would trade them all
for a hand phaser.
223
00:18:56,261 --> 00:18:58,431
Or a good solid club.
224
00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:02,809
Maybe we should've proposed
to them sooner.
225
00:19:04,812 --> 00:19:06,772
How could we, Ted?
226
00:19:07,022 --> 00:19:09,532
We could barely afford
our own apartment.
227
00:19:10,234 --> 00:19:14,074
This is most non-non-heinous.
228
00:19:14,655 --> 00:19:17,775
What are we gonna do?
- We gotta find them.
229
00:19:18,075 --> 00:19:19,235
Talk to 'em.
230
00:19:20,244 --> 00:19:21,164
But how?
231
00:19:38,053 --> 00:19:39,053
[knocking]
232
00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:42,352
Wonder who that could be?
233
00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:52,570
How's it going, Bill and Ted?
234
00:19:52,943 --> 00:19:55,363
Ted, it's us again.
235
00:19:56,155 --> 00:19:59,235
How's it going, Bill?
- Not bad, Bill. And you?
236
00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:00,449
Bad.
237
00:20:01,577 --> 00:20:05,827
We came to help you guys in your most
unfortunate situation.
238
00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:06,829
Yeah.
239
00:20:14,506 --> 00:20:15,506
How?
240
00:20:15,757 --> 00:20:17,757
Come with us. We'll show you.
241
00:20:17,968 --> 00:20:19,088
Okay.
242
00:20:20,012 --> 00:20:21,392
Excuse us.
243
00:20:21,597 --> 00:20:22,387
Dude.
244
00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:28,148
I got a weird feeling here.
- Why?
245
00:20:28,729 --> 00:20:29,979
I don't know.
246
00:20:30,981 --> 00:20:33,901
How do we know these
guys are really us?
247
00:20:38,363 --> 00:20:40,283
Ted, we've been through this before.
248
00:20:40,490 --> 00:20:43,240
Now if it wasn't for the previous
intervention of our future selves...
249
00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:47,333
...would we have even passed history?
Or met the babes?
250
00:20:47,998 --> 00:20:51,418
Or had a most excellent adventure
through time?
251
00:20:52,669 --> 00:20:53,379
Okay.
252
00:20:56,048 --> 00:21:00,428
Ted, if you're really me, how many
fingers am I about to hold up?
253
00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:01,637
Three.
254
00:21:02,471 --> 00:21:03,641
Whoa!
- Whoa!
255
00:21:04,181 --> 00:21:05,181
You're right!
256
00:21:07,601 --> 00:21:09,561
Let's go, guys.
We'll drive.
257
00:21:15,692 --> 00:21:17,112
Ted.
- What?
258
00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:22,162
I have a feeling we're about to embark
on a most unprecedented expedition.
259
00:21:24,243 --> 00:21:25,703
Dude.
- What?
260
00:21:27,162 --> 00:21:30,082
I got a full-on robot chubby.
261
00:21:31,083 --> 00:21:32,423
Later, Evil Ted.
262
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:34,170
Later.
263
00:21:34,378 --> 00:21:37,968
♪ [Faith No More's "The
Perfect Crime" playing] ♪
264
00:21:48,850 --> 00:21:50,100
I'm cold.
265
00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:51,520
Yeah.
266
00:21:52,646 --> 00:21:55,396
Hey! Dudes! Can we have
some heat back here?
267
00:21:55,649 --> 00:21:57,109
Shut up, Bill.
268
00:21:59,444 --> 00:22:01,614
That other you's a real jerk.
269
00:22:01,863 --> 00:22:07,663
Yeah! I better remember to be more
considerate towards myself when I become him.
270
00:22:07,911 --> 00:22:09,911
He said, shut your holes!
271
00:22:11,081 --> 00:22:12,041
Dude.
272
00:22:12,874 --> 00:22:14,924
I got a very bad feeling.
273
00:22:49,077 --> 00:22:50,157
Out.
274
00:22:57,669 --> 00:23:01,089
So, where are Joanna and Elizabeth?
275
00:23:01,590 --> 00:23:02,340
They're not here.
276
00:23:02,549 --> 00:23:07,469
Yeah. We lied. Here's the truth,
we're totally gonna kill you now.
277
00:23:07,679 --> 00:23:08,509
[laughing]
278
00:23:08,722 --> 00:23:10,602
No way!
- Yes way, Ted.
279
00:23:11,141 --> 00:23:15,441
We're fully programmed to do it.
- Yeah, and we want to do it, too.
280
00:23:16,229 --> 00:23:18,069
You dick, Bill!
281
00:23:18,273 --> 00:23:19,363
[laughing]
282
00:23:19,733 --> 00:23:21,943
[metallic clang]
Ow!
283
00:23:22,402 --> 00:23:26,322
You're metal, dude!
- I know. Check it out!
284
00:23:27,616 --> 00:23:29,156
[electronic beeping]
285
00:23:29,493 --> 00:23:30,953
Whoa!
286
00:23:33,330 --> 00:23:36,460
[guitar noodling]
287
00:23:36,708 --> 00:23:37,628
Let's go.
288
00:23:38,377 --> 00:23:39,837
Bogus.
289
00:23:40,045 --> 00:23:46,175
♪ [Megadeth's "Go To Hell" playing] ♪
290
00:24:12,536 --> 00:24:15,406
[laughing]
Ted...
291
00:24:16,123 --> 00:24:17,543
...we gotta do something.
292
00:24:18,208 --> 00:24:21,668
Dudes, even though
you're doing this...
293
00:24:21,962 --> 00:24:25,302
...we, we...
294
00:24:25,549 --> 00:24:27,009
...we love you.
295
00:24:27,300 --> 00:24:28,970
We love you.
296
00:24:31,263 --> 00:24:32,643
Fags!
297
00:24:34,015 --> 00:24:35,055
[Bill and Ted screaming]
298
00:24:37,811 --> 00:24:40,981
Catch you later, Bill and Ted!
299
00:24:44,151 --> 00:24:45,361
[laughing]
300
00:24:58,623 --> 00:25:01,883
Yes! I totally loogied on that
good dead me!
301
00:25:02,043 --> 00:25:02,923
Yeah!
302
00:25:03,128 --> 00:25:03,958
[metallic clank]
303
00:25:04,171 --> 00:25:06,801
We're fully, full-on evil robots.
- Yeah!
304
00:25:06,965 --> 00:25:11,845
[guitar noodling]
305
00:25:12,721 --> 00:25:15,391
You wanna take the van?
- No, it's beat.
306
00:25:18,101 --> 00:25:19,271
There's a Porsche.
307
00:25:19,478 --> 00:25:21,148
♪ [King's X's "Junior's
Gone Wild" playing] ♪
308
00:25:21,313 --> 00:25:22,443
Let's bag it.
309
00:25:24,232 --> 00:25:25,732
Station.
310
00:26:04,272 --> 00:26:05,232
Bill...
311
00:26:06,900 --> 00:26:08,190
...what happened?
312
00:26:09,903 --> 00:26:10,823
Ted...
313
00:26:12,197 --> 00:26:13,657
...we're dead, dude.
314
00:26:17,452 --> 00:26:21,212
No way.
- Yes way.
315
00:26:21,414 --> 00:26:22,794
Look.
316
00:26:29,506 --> 00:26:31,216
Now what?
317
00:26:35,178 --> 00:26:36,428
Who's that?
318
00:26:43,603 --> 00:26:44,773
Whoa!
319
00:26:46,982 --> 00:26:48,192
Who are you?
320
00:26:49,067 --> 00:26:49,777
Ted...
321
00:26:51,528 --> 00:26:53,528
...it's the Grim Reaper, dude.
322
00:26:53,738 --> 00:26:54,408
Oh.
323
00:26:56,992 --> 00:26:58,702
How's it hanging, Death?
324
00:26:59,703 --> 00:27:02,333
You will come with me.
325
00:27:05,375 --> 00:27:08,545
We can't.
We gotta get back to the babes.
326
00:27:08,753 --> 00:27:11,213
Ted, we can't. We're dead, dude.
327
00:27:11,423 --> 00:27:14,513
We gotta stop those evil usses.
We gotta try.
328
00:27:17,012 --> 00:27:20,142
Excuse us, dude,
but is there any way back?
329
00:27:22,601 --> 00:27:25,601
You may challenge me to a contest.
330
00:27:26,229 --> 00:27:27,809
But if you lose...
331
00:27:28,690 --> 00:27:31,610
...you will remain here
in the afterlife...
332
00:27:32,152 --> 00:27:33,572
...forever.
333
00:27:33,737 --> 00:27:35,527
[gulping]
334
00:27:38,283 --> 00:27:40,373
What if we win?
335
00:27:41,453 --> 00:27:45,083
No one has ever won.
336
00:27:46,374 --> 00:27:49,844
Dude, we gotta ditch this guy.
- Definitely.
337
00:27:50,420 --> 00:27:51,500
But how?
338
00:27:54,257 --> 00:27:55,877
Melvin.
339
00:27:56,343 --> 00:27:57,843
[guitar noodling]
340
00:28:00,096 --> 00:28:02,556
Excuse us, dude...
341
00:28:02,766 --> 00:28:05,346
...but your shoes are untied.
342
00:28:06,436 --> 00:28:07,346
Oh.
343
00:28:09,147 --> 00:28:11,937
[fabric ripping]
[Death screams]
344
00:28:15,862 --> 00:28:19,122
I can't believe
we just Melvined Death.
345
00:28:19,282 --> 00:28:20,162
Yeah!
346
00:28:21,743 --> 00:28:23,663
Let's just hope he doesn't
catch up with us.
347
00:28:40,595 --> 00:28:42,505
Whoa.
348
00:28:47,977 --> 00:28:51,017
♪ [Neverland's "For The
Love (of Music)" playing] ♪
349
00:29:05,662 --> 00:29:07,082
No way!
350
00:29:10,667 --> 00:29:11,667
This isn't funny.
351
00:29:11,918 --> 00:29:13,378
Way to go, Joanna!
352
00:29:13,670 --> 00:29:16,300
I don't understand
what's come over you two.
353
00:29:16,548 --> 00:29:20,428
You see, we used to be puss-weeds,
but now we're metal.
354
00:29:20,677 --> 00:29:22,097
So get over here and put out!
355
00:29:24,681 --> 00:29:27,811
Let's go. You can forget
about us playing tonight.
356
00:29:28,727 --> 00:29:29,687
Fine.
357
00:29:35,483 --> 00:29:37,693
Then I guess that's that.
358
00:29:37,902 --> 00:29:38,952
[mocking]
359
00:29:39,863 --> 00:29:41,953
Yeah, see 'ya.
360
00:29:43,283 --> 00:29:47,123
[guitar noise]
361
00:29:54,502 --> 00:29:56,592
Catch you later, babes!
362
00:29:58,548 --> 00:30:01,758
[squishing sounds]
363
00:30:06,139 --> 00:30:08,309
Ted, I have an idea.
364
00:30:08,558 --> 00:30:11,388
Tonight at the concert after we make
De Nomolos' speech...
365
00:30:12,228 --> 00:30:14,188
...let's waste them.
366
00:30:14,939 --> 00:30:19,149
Station. In the meantime, let's trash
this lame little rathole.
367
00:30:19,402 --> 00:30:20,822
Stellar, Evil Ted!
368
00:30:27,452 --> 00:30:32,042
Ted, we have got to stop them.
- Yeah. But how?
369
00:30:36,419 --> 00:30:37,749
I hope this works.
370
00:30:37,962 --> 00:30:40,922
It worked in The Exorcist.
I and Ill!
371
00:30:46,471 --> 00:30:47,511
Alright, Hirschfeld,
372
00:30:47,722 --> 00:30:51,682
you'll move downtown so DeLoach
can take her maternity leave.
373
00:30:51,893 --> 00:30:55,193
Also, we need to make a few shifts.
Anyone interested in moonlighting...
374
00:30:55,438 --> 00:30:58,858
...we'll be stepping up security at the
amphitheater tonight for the Battle of the Bands.
375
00:30:59,108 --> 00:31:02,318
I hear your son's band is playing?
376
00:31:02,904 --> 00:31:04,704
[laughter]
377
00:31:04,948 --> 00:31:09,158
Thank you for reminding me, sergeant.
Also, Scott Frank...
378
00:31:09,494 --> 00:31:13,834
So, how do we do this?
- I don't know.
379
00:31:15,333 --> 00:31:17,293
Why don't you try something?
380
00:31:18,503 --> 00:31:19,633
Okay.
381
00:31:24,217 --> 00:31:27,507
[stretching sounds]
382
00:31:32,559 --> 00:31:33,389
Whoa!
383
00:31:37,230 --> 00:31:39,360
Okay, dudes.
384
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:42,360
I mean, fellow policemen...
385
00:31:42,944 --> 00:31:45,574
...my son, Ted "Theodore" Logan...
386
00:31:45,822 --> 00:31:48,412
...and his friend
Bill S. Preston, Esquire...
387
00:31:48,658 --> 00:31:53,078
...have been murdered and replaced
by evil robots from the future.
388
00:31:53,288 --> 00:31:54,998
You totally did it, dude!
389
00:31:55,164 --> 00:31:57,044
I totally possessed my dad.
390
00:31:57,333 --> 00:32:00,923
[guitar noodling]
391
00:32:02,213 --> 00:32:03,343
Okay.
392
00:32:04,132 --> 00:32:06,432
You got to go over
and arrest these robots
393
00:32:06,634 --> 00:32:09,184
so they don't ruin
everything for me and Bill.
394
00:32:09,470 --> 00:32:11,930
I mean, my son and Bill.
395
00:32:12,557 --> 00:32:16,807
And, most importantly,
they don't hurt the babes.
396
00:32:17,979 --> 00:32:19,439
The princesses.
397
00:32:21,983 --> 00:32:23,113
This isn't working.
398
00:32:23,359 --> 00:32:25,949
Back me up, dude.
- You got it, dude.
399
00:32:29,699 --> 00:32:32,369
[stretching sounds]
400
00:32:38,082 --> 00:32:40,672
I totally believe you, dude.
401
00:32:40,877 --> 00:32:42,167
Yeah!
- Yeah!
402
00:32:42,378 --> 00:32:46,628
Whoa! Doughnuts!
- Whoa! Excellent!
403
00:32:46,841 --> 00:32:48,511
Savory cruller.
404
00:32:49,177 --> 00:32:52,637
I got really hungry being dead.
- Yeah!
405
00:32:53,473 --> 00:32:54,433
Bill?
406
00:32:54,641 --> 00:32:57,061
I don't think they believe us.
407
00:32:58,061 --> 00:33:00,941
We'll have to find somebody who will.
408
00:33:01,856 --> 00:33:04,476
Catch you later, cop dudes!
409
00:33:10,698 --> 00:33:13,078
Ted, we can't go like this.
410
00:33:13,409 --> 00:33:15,869
Oh. Yeah!
411
00:33:16,913 --> 00:33:19,543
[stretching sounds]
412
00:33:25,463 --> 00:33:27,473
Thanks, Dad.
413
00:33:29,509 --> 00:33:33,179
Good morning.
- Sergeant.
414
00:33:38,309 --> 00:33:39,229
Gandhi.
415
00:33:41,646 --> 00:33:43,436
Anne Boleyn.
416
00:33:44,482 --> 00:33:45,942
Aristotle.
417
00:33:46,693 --> 00:33:49,533
President Chester A. Arthur.
- Yes!
418
00:33:51,030 --> 00:33:52,780
Clark Gable.
419
00:33:53,533 --> 00:33:55,123
Charlemagne.
420
00:33:55,660 --> 00:33:57,500
And I would like to contact Ty Cobb.
421
00:34:04,585 --> 00:34:07,835
Has this séance stuff ever worked?
- No.
422
00:34:09,382 --> 00:34:11,682
But it will today, dude.
423
00:34:11,884 --> 00:34:14,394
[speaking gibberish]
424
00:34:19,225 --> 00:34:22,345
O great spirits
from the netherworld...
425
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:26,440
...leave your celestial
abode and speak upon us...
426
00:34:26,733 --> 00:34:29,903
...with your life lessons.
427
00:34:34,073 --> 00:34:37,703
[whooshing]
Whoa!
428
00:34:40,621 --> 00:34:42,961
I feel the spirits have arrived!
429
00:34:43,124 --> 00:34:44,964
How's it going...
430
00:34:45,251 --> 00:34:48,091
...New Age dudes?
431
00:34:48,838 --> 00:34:51,798
Spirits, can you hear me?
432
00:34:52,008 --> 00:34:53,128
Yeah!
433
00:34:54,927 --> 00:34:57,137
And we can totally see down your...
434
00:34:57,430 --> 00:35:00,220
Ted, it's your mom, dude!
435
00:35:02,060 --> 00:35:05,230
Whoa, you're right! Move over, dude.
436
00:35:06,481 --> 00:35:09,691
Spirits, what have you to say to us?
437
00:35:09,859 --> 00:35:10,689
OK...
438
00:35:10,902 --> 00:35:14,572
...the princesses are in trouble.
439
00:35:14,739 --> 00:35:19,159
Yeah. Ted and his most
excellent friend Bill...
440
00:35:19,452 --> 00:35:21,162
...were killed!
441
00:35:22,747 --> 00:35:24,367
Listen to us.
- You must go.
442
00:35:24,582 --> 00:35:26,212
Beware of evil Bill!
443
00:35:27,126 --> 00:35:30,376
Warn the princesses!
444
00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:33,220
O evil spirits from Hell...
445
00:35:33,466 --> 00:35:36,586
...I send you back into the darkness
from whence you came!
446
00:35:39,972 --> 00:35:44,392
What's she doing?
- I don't know, but I don't think it's good.
447
00:35:45,895 --> 00:35:47,355
Uh-oh.
448
00:35:47,980 --> 00:35:49,520
No way!
449
00:35:52,443 --> 00:35:56,783
[lightning crackles]
[chanting]
450
00:36:16,425 --> 00:36:19,925
[Bill and Ted screaming]
451
00:36:40,908 --> 00:36:44,498
[Bill and Ted screaming]
452
00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:49,170
Dude, this is a totally deep hole.
- Yeah!
453
00:36:52,170 --> 00:36:55,300
Now what?
- I don't know.
454
00:36:56,382 --> 00:37:03,972
[Bill and Ted screaming]
455
00:37:07,935 --> 00:37:08,805
Hey.
456
00:37:09,145 --> 00:37:13,645
You wanna play 20 Questions?
- Okay. I got one.
457
00:37:14,108 --> 00:37:15,108
Are you a mineral?
458
00:37:16,694 --> 00:37:17,404
Yeah.
459
00:37:18,279 --> 00:37:19,359
Are you a tank?
460
00:37:19,572 --> 00:37:21,322
Whoa, yeah!
461
00:37:21,532 --> 00:37:22,742
Good one!
462
00:37:23,326 --> 00:37:24,696
[thuds]
463
00:37:25,244 --> 00:37:26,004
Whoa!
464
00:37:26,871 --> 00:37:30,001
Not bad!
- Yeah. Can we do it again?
465
00:37:30,958 --> 00:37:35,338
I'm working as hard as I can!
466
00:37:35,630 --> 00:37:37,550
No way!
467
00:37:41,636 --> 00:37:44,636
This is not what I expected
this place to look like at all.
468
00:37:44,847 --> 00:37:48,637
Yeah. We got totally lied to
by our album covers, man.
469
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:53,400
[rocks crunching]
470
00:38:00,738 --> 00:38:02,158
Whoa.
471
00:38:02,448 --> 00:38:03,948
Who's that?
472
00:38:04,408 --> 00:38:07,748
Ted, who do you think it is, dude?
473
00:38:09,455 --> 00:38:10,705
Oh yeah!
474
00:38:12,500 --> 00:38:14,540
How are we gonna get his attention?
475
00:38:15,461 --> 00:38:17,171
Sign of the devil, dude!
476
00:38:17,838 --> 00:38:21,678
Hey, Devil dude! Yo!
- Down here!
477
00:38:21,842 --> 00:38:24,102
Down here, dude!
478
00:38:24,345 --> 00:38:27,095
Two little guys!
479
00:38:27,348 --> 00:38:29,348
Big dude! Down here!
480
00:38:30,518 --> 00:38:32,398
Right down here, bro!
481
00:38:32,645 --> 00:38:37,275
[metallic grinding]
[chains clinking]
482
00:38:40,736 --> 00:38:43,946
Dude, I kind of like this.
483
00:38:44,156 --> 00:38:45,906
Whoa!
484
00:38:46,117 --> 00:38:47,787
Excellent!
485
00:38:49,829 --> 00:38:52,329
Let's get out of here, dude.
- OK.
486
00:38:57,545 --> 00:39:01,795
Ted, if I die, you can have
my Megadeth collection.
487
00:39:02,008 --> 00:39:03,928
But, dude, we're already dead!
488
00:39:04,218 --> 00:39:05,088
Oh.
489
00:39:05,720 --> 00:39:09,810
Well, then they're yours, dude.
- Whoa! Thanks, dude.
490
00:39:12,435 --> 00:39:16,395
[grunting]
491
00:39:30,661 --> 00:39:32,791
How's it going, Beelzebub?
492
00:39:32,997 --> 00:39:34,667
So, uh...
493
00:39:34,874 --> 00:39:37,174
Okay. Can we go now?
494
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:40,420
You may go.
495
00:39:40,629 --> 00:39:42,419
[laughing]
496
00:39:42,631 --> 00:39:44,301
Whoa!
497
00:39:44,508 --> 00:39:45,968
Thanks, dude!
- Yeah!
498
00:39:46,260 --> 00:39:50,970
You know, you got a bad rap,
but you're actually an okay dude!
499
00:39:51,182 --> 00:39:53,102
[metallic grinding]
[Bill and Ted screaming]
500
00:40:02,985 --> 00:40:03,775
Whoa.
501
00:40:04,862 --> 00:40:08,162
Where are we?
- I don't know.
502
00:40:09,784 --> 00:40:12,244
Maybe we should try
one of these tunnels.
503
00:40:20,669 --> 00:40:23,259
Dude, where are we?
- I don't know.
504
00:40:24,048 --> 00:40:26,178
Maybe we should try
one of these doors.
505
00:40:29,053 --> 00:40:30,973
[metallic grinding]
506
00:40:32,181 --> 00:40:34,101
After you, dude.
507
00:40:42,191 --> 00:40:43,901
Now where are we?
508
00:40:44,944 --> 00:40:46,994
[footsteps]
509
00:40:47,238 --> 00:40:48,278
Who's that?
510
00:40:53,119 --> 00:40:54,369
It's Colonel Oats!
511
00:40:55,121 --> 00:40:56,711
No way!
512
00:40:57,081 --> 00:40:58,751
Gentlemen!
513
00:41:00,709 --> 00:41:03,419
Welcome to Hell.
514
00:41:03,712 --> 00:41:06,172
No way.
- What?!
515
00:41:06,340 --> 00:41:07,970
No way, sir?
516
00:41:08,175 --> 00:41:09,965
You two...
517
00:41:11,137 --> 00:41:14,637
...will do whatever
I tell you to do...
518
00:41:14,932 --> 00:41:17,772
...from now on.
519
00:41:18,060 --> 00:41:20,400
Is that clear?
520
00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:24,730
Yes, sir, dude!
- What?!
521
00:41:25,401 --> 00:41:28,281
Yes, dude, sir!
- What?!
522
00:41:28,863 --> 00:41:30,703
Yes, sir, sir dude!
523
00:41:30,906 --> 00:41:33,696
Get down and give me...
524
00:41:33,951 --> 00:41:36,081
...infinity.
525
00:41:39,290 --> 00:41:43,170
Stupid, pathetic,
craven little cretins.
526
00:41:43,377 --> 00:41:44,337
Dude.
527
00:41:44,712 --> 00:41:50,012
There's no way I can possibly do infinity pushups!
- Pitiful little morons.
528
00:41:50,342 --> 00:41:52,932
Maybe if he lets us do 'em girlie-style.
- Jokers!
529
00:41:53,179 --> 00:41:57,559
You petty, base, bully,
bullock, bugger billies.
530
00:41:57,808 --> 00:42:01,518
You're not strong! You're silky boys!
531
00:42:02,062 --> 00:42:06,232
Silk comes from the butts
of Chinese worms.
532
00:42:06,442 --> 00:42:08,612
Dude, we gotta get out of here.
533
00:42:08,819 --> 00:42:11,699
I'll eat you up like the warm,
toasty little butter cakes you are.
534
00:42:11,947 --> 00:42:14,327
Get back here!
535
00:42:18,204 --> 00:42:19,834
Dude.
- What?
536
00:42:20,122 --> 00:42:22,752
I think we're in
our own personal hell.
537
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:27,090
Let's split up.
- Yeah. That way he can't get us so bad.
538
00:42:34,637 --> 00:42:37,387
[metallic grinding]
539
00:42:47,525 --> 00:42:49,435
What happened?
540
00:43:11,465 --> 00:43:15,045
♪ [old-time music playing] ♪
Whoa!
541
00:43:16,428 --> 00:43:18,178
Bogus!
542
00:43:23,310 --> 00:43:32,650
♪ Happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you! ♪
543
00:43:33,112 --> 00:43:38,782
♪ Happy birthday, dear Granny! ♪
544
00:43:39,493 --> 00:43:44,623
♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪
545
00:43:45,666 --> 00:43:50,246
Granny S. Preston, Esquire.
546
00:43:50,546 --> 00:43:51,956
No way.
547
00:44:02,349 --> 00:44:03,349
Theodore!
548
00:44:05,519 --> 00:44:07,439
You made your little brother cry.
549
00:44:08,230 --> 00:44:09,610
How about...
550
00:44:09,982 --> 00:44:11,652
...a kiss...
551
00:44:12,234 --> 00:44:16,784
...for your dear old granny, Bill?
552
00:44:23,704 --> 00:44:25,084
Come along.
553
00:44:31,086 --> 00:44:32,626
[puckering]
554
00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:35,720
You stole Deacon's Easter basket.
555
00:44:35,966 --> 00:44:39,426
No way. This was 10 years ago!
556
00:44:39,637 --> 00:44:40,927
Uh-huh!
557
00:44:43,098 --> 00:44:44,428
[puckering]
558
00:44:48,312 --> 00:44:49,312
Come here!
559
00:44:49,521 --> 00:44:52,321
[metallic grinding]
Whoa!
560
00:44:54,151 --> 00:44:57,991
That was non, non, non...
Non-heinous!
561
00:44:58,238 --> 00:44:59,488
Choose...
562
00:44:59,782 --> 00:45:00,952
...your...
563
00:45:01,241 --> 00:45:03,291
...eternity.
564
00:45:03,494 --> 00:45:06,504
[evil laugh]
565
00:45:06,747 --> 00:45:09,957
Choose your own, you fag!
566
00:45:10,167 --> 00:45:11,917
[Ted screaming]
567
00:45:18,759 --> 00:45:23,599
You ugly, red source of all evil!
568
00:45:23,806 --> 00:45:25,596
[Bill screams]
569
00:45:30,604 --> 00:45:33,274
Hello, girls.
570
00:45:34,942 --> 00:45:36,192
[screaming]
571
00:45:40,364 --> 00:45:42,664
[Bill and Ted screaming]
572
00:45:42,991 --> 00:45:44,241
Dude.
- What?
573
00:45:44,243 --> 00:45:46,413
Hell sucks!
- Definitely!
574
00:45:46,620 --> 00:45:53,170
You total no-nosed salamanders!
- Deac's Easter basket! Nya-na-na-na-na
575
00:45:53,377 --> 00:45:54,837
[wicked laughing]
576
00:45:55,045 --> 00:45:56,335
Come to Oatsie!
577
00:46:00,801 --> 00:46:02,931
I wanted one right on the lips!
578
00:46:04,304 --> 00:46:09,524
Ted, there's only one way outta here, man!
- Right, dude. We gotta play the Reaper!
579
00:46:16,275 --> 00:46:18,815
Choose your game.
580
00:46:19,361 --> 00:46:21,571
But if you lose...
581
00:46:21,864 --> 00:46:24,494
...you will stay here in Hell...
582
00:46:25,367 --> 00:46:27,077
...forever.
583
00:46:43,886 --> 00:46:46,176
D-1.
584
00:46:50,851 --> 00:46:51,811
Miss.
585
00:47:01,111 --> 00:47:02,401
B...
586
00:47:02,696 --> 00:47:03,776
...3.
587
00:47:05,282 --> 00:47:06,952
Miss.
588
00:47:08,702 --> 00:47:11,332
C-6.
589
00:47:15,709 --> 00:47:16,879
Hit.
590
00:47:20,798 --> 00:47:23,508
Dude...
- I know.
591
00:47:30,349 --> 00:47:32,679
J-7.
592
00:47:33,769 --> 00:47:35,899
J-7...
593
00:47:37,481 --> 00:47:38,441
Hit.
594
00:47:38,607 --> 00:47:40,107
Yeah!
595
00:47:40,275 --> 00:47:44,275
A hit. You have sunk my battleship.
596
00:47:45,030 --> 00:47:45,990
Excellent!
597
00:47:48,492 --> 00:47:51,622
I totally knew he put it in the J's.
- Good thinking, Ted.
598
00:47:51,870 --> 00:47:53,790
You must play me again.
599
00:47:54,498 --> 00:47:58,418
What?!
- Um, best two out of three.
600
00:47:58,669 --> 00:47:59,879
No way!
601
00:48:03,799 --> 00:48:05,629
Yes way.
602
00:48:06,301 --> 00:48:08,181
♪ [ominous music] ♪
603
00:48:14,268 --> 00:48:16,348
What's he doing?
- I don't know.
604
00:48:27,114 --> 00:48:29,204
I believe...
605
00:48:29,449 --> 00:48:33,539
...Col. Mustard did it
in the study with the candlestick.
606
00:48:41,837 --> 00:48:45,047
Sorry, Death. You lose.
It was Professor Plum.
607
00:48:45,299 --> 00:48:49,219
I said "Plum."
- No way. You said "Mustard!"
608
00:48:49,469 --> 00:48:50,799
Can we go back now?
609
00:48:53,181 --> 00:48:54,811
Best three out of five.
610
00:48:56,018 --> 00:48:58,228
I don't believe this guy.
611
00:49:10,282 --> 00:49:12,702
Best of seven?
- Damn right!
612
00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:16,160
[grunting]
613
00:49:17,623 --> 00:49:19,583
Right hand, green.
614
00:49:24,504 --> 00:49:26,514
Left hand, red.
615
00:49:26,965 --> 00:49:28,045
[grunting]
616
00:49:30,886 --> 00:49:33,006
Right foot, green.
617
00:49:33,680 --> 00:49:35,100
Right foot...
618
00:49:44,983 --> 00:49:48,033
[sniffs]
Oh! Oh, dude!
619
00:49:56,203 --> 00:49:57,333
[falls]
620
00:49:57,537 --> 00:49:58,617
Yeah!
621
00:49:59,081 --> 00:50:00,371
Yeah!
622
00:50:01,500 --> 00:50:02,670
Well?
623
00:50:07,839 --> 00:50:09,259
I will...
624
00:50:11,176 --> 00:50:12,676
...take you back.
625
00:50:13,679 --> 00:50:15,349
[guitar noodling]
626
00:50:20,018 --> 00:50:24,688
You played very well, Death.
- Especially with your totally heavy death robes.
627
00:50:24,982 --> 00:50:26,732
Don't patronize me.
628
00:50:26,984 --> 00:50:31,244
Whoa, whatever, dude. But you got a
lot to learn about sportsmanship.
629
00:50:32,406 --> 00:50:33,866
This way.
630
00:50:34,992 --> 00:50:36,872
Now we can go back and save the babes.
631
00:50:37,119 --> 00:50:41,079
Yeah, but Bill, when we get back, how
will we fight those other usses?
632
00:50:41,331 --> 00:50:45,341
I mean, they're totally stronger
than us. And way smarter than us.
633
00:50:45,585 --> 00:50:47,335
Yeah, plus, they already
killed us once.
634
00:50:47,546 --> 00:50:49,336
Yeah.
[clears throat]
635
00:50:50,007 --> 00:50:51,757
One minute, duder!
636
00:50:52,175 --> 00:50:57,385
Okay, if we were good human usses and we had
to fight two evil robot usses...
637
00:50:57,639 --> 00:51:01,179
...what would we do?
- Make good robot usses?
638
00:51:01,435 --> 00:51:03,935
Ted, good thinking, dude!
639
00:51:04,104 --> 00:51:05,314
Excuse us.
640
00:51:05,731 --> 00:51:08,401
Excuse me, Death?
- Oh, now what?
641
00:51:08,608 --> 00:51:11,858
Well, could you take us to someone
who could help us?
642
00:51:12,112 --> 00:51:15,492
You have beaten me.
I am at your command.
643
00:51:15,782 --> 00:51:16,992
Cool!
644
00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:18,870
This way.
645
00:51:20,412 --> 00:51:22,122
Ted.
- What?
646
00:51:22,330 --> 00:51:23,960
Don't fear the Reaper.
647
00:51:23,957 --> 00:51:25,207
[guitar noodling]
648
00:51:25,417 --> 00:51:27,377
I heard that.
649
00:51:27,586 --> 00:51:30,586
♪ [angelic music playing] ♪
650
00:51:36,720 --> 00:51:37,430
Whoa.
651
00:51:39,890 --> 00:51:42,730
This is most atypical.
652
00:52:07,250 --> 00:52:08,880
Welcome to Heaven.
653
00:52:11,171 --> 00:52:13,091
I'm sure I'll enjoy it.
654
00:52:13,799 --> 00:52:15,049
Thank you.
655
00:52:17,260 --> 00:52:18,430
Through there.
656
00:52:18,678 --> 00:52:19,848
Welcome to Heaven.
657
00:52:20,013 --> 00:52:21,393
Hello.
- Hello.
658
00:52:21,556 --> 00:52:23,556
Thank you.
- You're welcome.
659
00:52:24,976 --> 00:52:29,436
"Only the most serene and enlightened
souls shall gain audience."
660
00:52:29,731 --> 00:52:31,731
Dude, we're in big trouble.
661
00:52:34,277 --> 00:52:36,277
I think I have an idea, dude.
662
00:52:42,536 --> 00:52:45,076
Hello, welcome to Heaven.
- Psst. Hey.
663
00:52:45,288 --> 00:52:46,918
Wise dudes.
664
00:52:47,207 --> 00:52:49,577
Can we ask you a question?
- OK.
665
00:52:49,918 --> 00:52:51,668
Right this way, please.
666
00:52:53,505 --> 00:52:57,465
[punching, groans]
[thuds]
667
00:53:02,514 --> 00:53:05,354
Dude, we're in Heaven,
and we just mugged three people.
668
00:53:05,559 --> 00:53:09,189
I know. We better get outta here
before we ruin it for everybody.
669
00:53:12,607 --> 00:53:14,397
Come on, Death.
670
00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:17,280
You look great, dude.
671
00:53:18,613 --> 00:53:20,203
You think so?
672
00:53:20,907 --> 00:53:23,827
[snickers]
Yeah.
673
00:53:25,203 --> 00:53:26,713
You do.
674
00:53:26,913 --> 00:53:28,713
[Bill and Ted laughing]
675
00:53:29,624 --> 00:53:31,214
Shut up.
676
00:53:32,335 --> 00:53:34,835
Come on, dude.
- It's not funny.
677
00:53:35,630 --> 00:53:38,010
I can't believe I'm
doing this stupid...
678
00:53:38,258 --> 00:53:41,178
How did I end up
in this ridiculous situation?
679
00:53:57,277 --> 00:53:58,397
[coughing]
680
00:54:00,947 --> 00:54:02,117
How's it going?
681
00:54:03,742 --> 00:54:05,742
What is the meaning of life?
682
00:54:07,537 --> 00:54:09,327
[whispering] Dude,
I have no idea what it is.
683
00:54:15,879 --> 00:54:19,929
Every rose has its thorn
684
00:54:20,217 --> 00:54:24,257
Just like every night has its dawn
685
00:54:24,471 --> 00:54:27,471
Just like every cowboy
686
00:54:27,641 --> 00:54:31,941
Sings a sad, sad song
687
00:54:36,942 --> 00:54:40,112
Every rose has a thorn
688
00:54:42,572 --> 00:54:43,992
Don't I know you?
689
00:54:45,825 --> 00:54:46,945
No.
690
00:54:56,086 --> 00:55:02,466
♪ [angelic fanfare ♪
691
00:55:27,993 --> 00:55:32,833
OK. So, God, as if you didn't know...
692
00:55:33,498 --> 00:55:36,878
...we're not the three wise people
that you might have thought we were.
693
00:55:37,043 --> 00:55:42,553
No. We mugged three people and took
their clothes. Sorry.
694
00:55:42,799 --> 00:55:46,429
I'm Bill S. Preston.
- I'm Ted "Theodore" Logan.
695
00:55:46,678 --> 00:55:50,518
Together, we are Wyld Stallyns!
696
00:55:50,724 --> 00:55:52,314
[laughing]
Yeah.
697
00:55:53,184 --> 00:55:55,734
This lovely lady is the Grim Reaper.
698
00:55:55,979 --> 00:55:58,569
He brought us here when we
challenged him and won.
699
00:55:58,773 --> 00:56:01,233
Now? OK.
700
00:56:01,651 --> 00:56:06,701
First of all, congratulations on Earth!
It's a most excellent planet.
701
00:56:06,948 --> 00:56:11,788
And Bill and I enjoy it on a daily basis.
- Yeah, not to mention your other great planets.
702
00:56:11,995 --> 00:56:15,495
Mars, Jupiter, Uranus.
703
00:56:15,707 --> 00:56:17,457
[laughter]
[guitar noodling]
704
00:56:18,418 --> 00:56:22,008
But the point is, okay, we died.
705
00:56:22,255 --> 00:56:24,665
Most unfairly.
706
00:56:25,300 --> 00:56:27,890
But we won the chance to come back.
707
00:56:28,136 --> 00:56:30,926
We need to construct something
to help save the women we love.
708
00:56:31,139 --> 00:56:36,139
Yeah, and we don't got a lot of time.
So we were wondering...
709
00:56:36,478 --> 00:56:39,898
...could you maybe help us find somebody
who can maybe help us build something?
710
00:56:40,690 --> 00:56:43,070
Station.
711
00:56:43,568 --> 00:56:46,198
Well, we were thinking along the lines...
712
00:56:46,363 --> 00:56:49,663
...of maybe a scientist or something.
713
00:57:03,129 --> 00:57:04,509
Cool.
714
00:57:07,759 --> 00:57:09,549
Thanks, God.
715
00:57:09,886 --> 00:57:13,636
Yeah. You are a just and noble creator.
716
00:57:13,848 --> 00:57:15,428
OK, well...
717
00:57:15,642 --> 00:57:18,522
We'll be going now.
- Yeah, keep up the good work.
718
00:57:18,770 --> 00:57:20,860
Catch you later, God.
719
00:57:31,199 --> 00:57:34,989
Sorry. They Melvined me.
720
00:57:37,872 --> 00:57:40,462
[crashing]
721
00:57:40,834 --> 00:57:43,844
All right, upside-down cake!
722
00:57:44,045 --> 00:57:46,795
Hey, Evil Ted.
- What?
723
00:57:47,006 --> 00:57:48,796
[crashing]
724
00:57:52,095 --> 00:57:53,845
We're out of dishes.
725
00:57:55,348 --> 00:57:57,268
Check this out.
726
00:58:00,728 --> 00:58:02,518
Not bad, E.T.
727
00:58:05,442 --> 00:58:06,652
Let me try.
728
00:58:09,779 --> 00:58:11,159
[Evil Bill screaming]
729
00:58:13,658 --> 00:58:16,118
You totally didn't see the fan.
730
00:58:21,249 --> 00:58:24,419
Tell my body to get over here
and get me!
731
00:58:24,919 --> 00:58:27,799
That's all right. I'll get you.
732
00:58:29,466 --> 00:58:31,886
Got your head, dude.
733
00:58:34,679 --> 00:58:37,429
I'm totally gonna tackle you, dude.
734
00:58:40,768 --> 00:58:45,608
Touchdown for Evil Ted!
- We're total headbangers.
735
00:58:48,860 --> 00:58:52,200
Come on. There you go.
736
00:58:58,161 --> 00:59:01,961
Stop wasting time.
Proceed with the plan now.
737
00:59:02,248 --> 00:59:03,918
Okay, dude.
738
00:59:04,959 --> 00:59:08,299
What do you say
we trash their relationships?
739
00:59:11,007 --> 00:59:12,507
I hate them.
740
00:59:12,759 --> 00:59:15,889
I hate the robot versions of them.
741
00:59:16,429 --> 00:59:18,309
You made us, dude.
742
00:59:24,687 --> 00:59:27,817
Well, looks like this is the place, dude.
743
00:59:28,149 --> 00:59:30,989
Now all we gotta do
is find that scientist.
744
00:59:32,070 --> 00:59:35,620
What kind of name is Station, anyway?
- I don't know.
745
00:59:35,865 --> 00:59:38,155
Must be some kind of future guy.
746
00:59:43,873 --> 00:59:45,833
Okay, how many syllables?
747
00:59:48,044 --> 00:59:50,304
Is it a play or a song or...?
748
00:59:52,549 --> 00:59:53,969
It's something big.
749
00:59:55,635 --> 00:59:57,845
My money's on Einstein.
750
01:00:00,598 --> 01:00:02,098
That's Station?
751
01:00:03,017 --> 01:00:06,307
Did you assume that
the most brilliant scientist...
752
01:00:06,479 --> 01:00:10,319
...in the entire universe
would be from Earth?
753
01:00:11,401 --> 01:00:12,821
Yeah.
754
01:00:17,782 --> 01:00:19,412
Movies?
755
01:00:20,410 --> 01:00:22,750
Nine words.
- Good, Mr. Franklin.
756
01:00:22,996 --> 01:00:25,286
Fire? Cigarettes?
757
01:00:25,540 --> 01:00:28,080
Clouds, clouds.
- Smoke?
758
01:00:29,210 --> 01:00:32,460
Butch and Sundance: The Early Years.
759
01:00:38,428 --> 01:00:41,718
Death!
- Sorry.
760
01:00:45,059 --> 01:00:48,059
Smokey and the Bandit III.
761
01:00:48,271 --> 01:00:51,151
Smokey is the bandit!
762
01:01:00,533 --> 01:01:03,373
Excuse us. Martians?
763
01:01:04,078 --> 01:01:07,368
First, my friend Bill and I
would like to congratulate you...
764
01:01:07,624 --> 01:01:10,634
...on a most well-played
round of charades.
765
01:01:10,918 --> 01:01:13,088
Secondly, you've been
referred to Ted and me...
766
01:01:13,379 --> 01:01:17,179
...as the most brilliant scientists
in the whole universe.
767
01:01:17,383 --> 01:01:21,803
So, how would you like to come to Earth with us
and help us build good robot usses...
768
01:01:22,055 --> 01:01:25,885
...to save two beautiful princesses
from bad robot usses?
769
01:01:29,395 --> 01:01:32,015
[speaking alien language]
770
01:01:35,360 --> 01:01:37,110
Sounds good, Station.
771
01:01:37,320 --> 01:01:39,110
[speaking alien language]
- Let's go.
772
01:01:41,240 --> 01:01:42,490
Let's rock, Death.
773
01:01:56,881 --> 01:02:00,721
[chime]
Whoa!
774
01:02:08,768 --> 01:02:09,768
Ted?
775
01:02:11,479 --> 01:02:14,229
We're alive.
- Yeah.
776
01:02:14,440 --> 01:02:18,950
But I think a buzzard
was pecking at my head.
777
01:02:24,659 --> 01:02:27,079
Dinner's over, worm-dude.
778
01:02:30,790 --> 01:02:32,540
You guys okay?
779
01:02:34,085 --> 01:02:35,875
Where's Death?
780
01:02:36,087 --> 01:02:37,877
[Death screaming]
781
01:02:40,883 --> 01:02:43,513
[thud]
[laughing]
782
01:02:45,054 --> 01:02:46,394
You okay, dude?
783
01:02:50,226 --> 01:02:52,186
I'm fine.
784
01:02:57,775 --> 01:03:02,655
OK. First on the agenda, we go back
to town and we clean up.
785
01:03:02,905 --> 01:03:05,195
Second, call the princesses
and warn 'em.
786
01:03:05,408 --> 01:03:09,288
Third, we purchase stuff
to build good robot usses.
787
01:03:10,204 --> 01:03:12,714
OK. Let's go!
788
01:03:13,833 --> 01:03:15,633
[laughing]
789
01:03:16,043 --> 01:03:18,133
What? What?
790
01:03:20,965 --> 01:03:24,925
♪ [Love on Ice's "Showdown" playing] ♪
791
01:03:26,179 --> 01:03:27,639
[Death screaming]
792
01:03:32,977 --> 01:03:36,437
Here, kitty, kitty!
Here, kitty, kitty!
793
01:03:36,731 --> 01:03:38,401
There's one, dude!
794
01:03:40,318 --> 01:03:42,198
Just missed, dude.
795
01:03:43,070 --> 01:03:45,360
Dude, we're there.
796
01:03:45,573 --> 01:03:47,283
Okay. I got an idea.
797
01:03:52,288 --> 01:03:54,418
[glass crashing]
798
01:03:54,624 --> 01:03:56,424
[girls screaming]
799
01:04:04,967 --> 01:04:06,297
[guitar noodling]
800
01:04:07,386 --> 01:04:11,016
Whoa. How's it going, lady humans?
801
01:04:12,975 --> 01:04:16,805
♪ [Richie Kotzen's "Dream Of
A New Day" playing] ♪
802
01:04:39,794 --> 01:04:42,804
Okay, Stations, this is
the Builders Emporium...
803
01:04:43,047 --> 01:04:46,927
...a repository for earthly electronics
and robot-building materials.
804
01:04:47,176 --> 01:04:51,506
Get what you need to make
metal usses, understand? OK.
805
01:04:54,475 --> 01:04:58,645
Ready for the big night, babes?
- No! We're not going.
806
01:05:01,399 --> 01:05:04,439
I think you guys
should stop right there.
807
01:05:05,570 --> 01:05:07,950
Catch you later, future wife.
808
01:05:10,074 --> 01:05:11,914
Whoa! Evil breath!
809
01:05:12,243 --> 01:05:13,243
Who are you two?
810
01:05:13,452 --> 01:05:15,542
Well, you see...
811
01:05:20,251 --> 01:05:22,671
[electronic beeping]
812
01:05:27,633 --> 01:05:28,933
Come on.
813
01:05:30,887 --> 01:05:34,557
Any luck?
- No. They're not at our place or at theirs.
814
01:05:34,807 --> 01:05:39,227
I'm gonna try your dad's place.
Maybe they went to talk to Missy.
815
01:05:41,230 --> 01:05:43,610
[phone ringing]
816
01:05:48,321 --> 01:05:49,741
Hello. Logan residence.
817
01:05:50,031 --> 01:05:53,331
Evil Bill S. Preston,
Esquire, speaking.
818
01:05:55,912 --> 01:05:59,252
It's them! They're back from the dead.
- Oh.
819
01:05:59,498 --> 01:06:01,668
I guess we get to kill them again.
820
01:06:01,959 --> 01:06:03,129
Excellent!
821
01:06:19,060 --> 01:06:21,440
See you real soon.
822
01:06:22,813 --> 01:06:24,023
Oh yeah?
823
01:06:24,815 --> 01:06:28,525
Yeah, but this time we're ready for you!
- Yeah!
824
01:06:32,239 --> 01:06:34,659
I think we can be ready for them, too.
825
01:06:34,951 --> 01:06:37,951
Good luck getting
to the concert, losers!
826
01:06:41,791 --> 01:06:43,041
[electronic beeping]
827
01:06:44,627 --> 01:06:48,257
- Initiate the final plan, now!
- You got it, great one.
828
01:06:49,924 --> 01:06:52,344
Do not fail me.
829
01:06:53,386 --> 01:06:54,926
Metallic buffoons.
830
01:07:01,018 --> 01:07:04,188
That other me is a dick.
- Yeah.
831
01:07:06,315 --> 01:07:08,065
I hope the Stations
know what they're doing.
832
01:07:08,275 --> 01:07:09,565
Huh?
833
01:07:28,754 --> 01:07:31,174
Station! What are you doing?
834
01:07:33,384 --> 01:07:37,144
Dudes! This is no time
to be playing games!
835
01:07:39,056 --> 01:07:41,596
[yelling]
[electricity crackling]
836
01:08:11,964 --> 01:08:14,684
Station.
837
01:08:15,634 --> 01:08:16,934
Station!
- Station!
838
01:08:22,183 --> 01:08:24,023
[guitar noodling]
839
01:08:24,977 --> 01:08:28,147
♪ [Winger's "Battle Stations" playing] ♪
840
01:09:54,358 --> 01:09:55,568
Whoa!
841
01:09:57,278 --> 01:09:58,898
That one's me, right?
842
01:09:59,071 --> 01:10:00,741
Station.
843
01:10:02,575 --> 01:10:04,365
Not bad.
844
01:10:04,660 --> 01:10:07,200
How's it going, Good Robot Bill?
845
01:10:08,080 --> 01:10:09,870
How's it doing?
846
01:10:21,886 --> 01:10:24,426
Kate Axelrod for KJM Channel 12...
847
01:10:24,638 --> 01:10:27,808
...reporting live from
the San Dimas Civic Auditorium.
848
01:10:28,058 --> 01:10:31,188
We're rocking at the
4th Annual Battle of the Bands.
849
01:10:31,437 --> 01:10:34,817
So stay tuned and hold tight
until we find out...
850
01:10:35,107 --> 01:10:38,277
...who will be your winner.
851
01:10:38,569 --> 01:10:42,199
♪ [Primus' "Tommy The Cat" playing] ♪
852
01:10:48,370 --> 01:10:49,750
You guys ready? You're up.
853
01:10:49,997 --> 01:10:51,327
Where are the girls?
854
01:10:51,540 --> 01:10:55,880
Oh, they're hanging from the rafters.
- Yeah, we're gonna kill them at the finale.
855
01:10:56,795 --> 01:10:58,755
Good luck, gentlemen.
856
01:11:04,762 --> 01:11:06,932
Bill, check it out.
857
01:11:07,514 --> 01:11:08,854
Whoa!
858
01:11:09,058 --> 01:11:10,428
Not bad.
859
01:11:13,520 --> 01:11:17,940
[guitar noise]
860
01:11:21,946 --> 01:11:24,106
♪ [Primus' "Tommy The Cat" playing] ♪
861
01:11:31,956 --> 01:11:35,626
[audience cheering]
862
01:11:36,085 --> 01:11:39,585
Let's hear it for Primus!
Yeah!
863
01:12:16,000 --> 01:12:19,630
Station, are they ready?
- Station.
864
01:12:19,878 --> 01:12:21,708
Excellent work, dude.
865
01:12:21,880 --> 01:12:25,930
What about me? I made the wigs.
- Okay, Death.
866
01:12:26,218 --> 01:12:29,638
I helped do the shopping.
I was pushing the cart.
867
01:12:29,638 --> 01:12:32,928
Do these work like we asked?
- Station.
868
01:12:34,351 --> 01:12:35,521
Whoa!
869
01:12:36,437 --> 01:12:39,477
You are a most
excellent scientist, Station.
870
01:12:40,232 --> 01:12:43,782
Plus, you got an excellently huge
Martian butt.
871
01:12:44,403 --> 01:12:45,993
Station!
872
01:12:46,196 --> 01:12:47,986
[guitar noodling]
873
01:12:49,366 --> 01:12:52,866
Please feel free to split
in two parts again and relax.
874
01:12:53,120 --> 01:12:57,370
Don't overlook my butt.
I work out all the time.
875
01:12:57,624 --> 01:13:00,634
And reaping burns a lot of calories.
876
01:13:03,756 --> 01:13:10,096
OK, you two dudes ready to take on those
evil usses and save the babes?
877
01:13:11,847 --> 01:13:15,767
Fight evil usses. Save the babes.
878
01:13:16,018 --> 01:13:18,728
Ready, Bill?
- Ready, Ted.
879
01:13:20,064 --> 01:13:21,904
Let's go get 'em.
880
01:13:22,149 --> 01:13:24,859
And now, the last band of the evening.
881
01:13:25,110 --> 01:13:27,860
Wyld Stallyns!
882
01:13:28,030 --> 01:13:29,870
[audience clapping]
883
01:13:38,540 --> 01:13:40,880
How's it going, worms?
884
01:13:41,418 --> 01:13:44,088
I'm Bill S. Preston, Esquire!
885
01:13:44,380 --> 01:13:46,970
And I'm Ted "Theodore" Logan!
886
01:13:47,257 --> 01:13:51,927
Together, we are Wyld Stallyns!
887
01:13:53,555 --> 01:13:55,635
Hold it right there!
888
01:13:58,769 --> 01:14:01,019
We're Wyld Stallyns!
889
01:14:01,313 --> 01:14:05,153
No, dudes. We're Wyld Stallyns!
890
01:14:05,317 --> 01:14:07,107
[audience cheering]
891
01:14:07,820 --> 01:14:11,870
You totally killed us,
you evil metal dickweeds!
892
01:14:12,157 --> 01:14:14,657
Yeah, and we're fully
gonna do it again!
893
01:14:14,910 --> 01:14:18,710
Plus, we're gonna totally
kill your girlfriends, too.
894
01:14:20,124 --> 01:14:21,044
[ropes snapping]
895
01:14:26,839 --> 01:14:30,219
Don't worry, babes! We'll save you.
896
01:14:32,928 --> 01:14:36,428
Everybody, say hello
to Station's creation!
897
01:14:36,765 --> 01:14:39,685
Good Robot Bill and Ted!
898
01:14:45,065 --> 01:14:46,775
[audience clapping]
899
01:14:52,239 --> 01:14:55,159
Dude, we may have met our match.
900
01:14:55,576 --> 01:14:58,576
Kudos to you, good human usses.
901
01:15:00,497 --> 01:15:04,877
Catch you later, Bill and Ted!
- Catch you later, Bill and Ted!
902
01:15:09,756 --> 01:15:11,176
[Death laughing]
903
01:15:14,887 --> 01:15:16,717
[explosion]
904
01:15:17,806 --> 01:15:21,346
[crowd cheering]
905
01:15:28,442 --> 01:15:30,692
[metallic clunks]
Whoa!
906
01:15:30,903 --> 01:15:32,703
[Death laughing]
907
01:15:41,330 --> 01:15:43,500
Elizabeth!
- Theodore!
908
01:15:44,082 --> 01:15:46,882
Joanna!
- William!
909
01:15:49,421 --> 01:15:51,721
[crowd cheering]
910
01:15:51,924 --> 01:15:53,724
[electricity crackling]
911
01:15:59,973 --> 01:16:01,733
Who is that?
912
01:16:19,409 --> 01:16:20,409
Who are you?
913
01:16:21,620 --> 01:16:22,830
Who am I?
914
01:16:30,254 --> 01:16:32,924
I am De Nomolos.
915
01:16:34,007 --> 01:16:35,927
I am their master.
916
01:16:37,553 --> 01:16:40,933
And I must see to it that you die.
917
01:16:42,349 --> 01:16:43,139
What?
918
01:16:43,725 --> 01:16:45,385
But first...
919
01:16:45,936 --> 01:16:49,686
[electricity crackling]
920
01:16:51,400 --> 01:16:55,030
[electricity crackling]
921
01:16:58,740 --> 01:17:00,080
[speaking Italian]
922
01:17:10,794 --> 01:17:15,844
We are now transmitting on every
television channel throughout the world.
923
01:17:16,383 --> 01:17:18,223
My word!
924
01:17:18,427 --> 01:17:20,217
[speaking Russian]
925
01:17:22,806 --> 01:17:25,976
I want the whole universe
to behold this...
926
01:17:26,226 --> 01:17:28,476
...transfer of power.
927
01:17:30,314 --> 01:17:33,364
No longer will our future society...
928
01:17:33,609 --> 01:17:36,739
...be based on
the ideas and the music...
929
01:17:36,987 --> 01:17:38,777
...of these two fools!
930
01:17:42,075 --> 01:17:45,035
They will be based on my ideas...
931
01:17:46,997 --> 01:17:49,417
...and my ideas alone!
932
01:17:50,834 --> 01:17:53,594
Dude, how do we get out of this?
We don't got any time.
933
01:17:53,795 --> 01:17:57,415
Yeah we do, dude. Look, after we get away
from this guy, we use the booth...
934
01:17:57,633 --> 01:18:02,053
...we time-travel back to before the concert and
set up the things we need to get him now.
935
01:18:02,262 --> 01:18:04,312
Whoa, yeah, like what?
936
01:18:04,514 --> 01:18:07,434
Like, uh... like a sandbag.
937
01:18:10,646 --> 01:18:11,306
[rope snapping]
938
01:18:13,690 --> 01:18:15,030
Excellent!
939
01:18:15,233 --> 01:18:16,153
Then we'll get a cage.
940
01:18:16,360 --> 01:18:16,940
[rope snapping]
941
01:18:19,905 --> 01:18:20,605
[metallic crash]
942
01:18:20,822 --> 01:18:22,622
[crowd applauding]
943
01:18:24,868 --> 01:18:26,368
My friends.
944
01:18:27,079 --> 01:18:29,459
I, too, can play the time game.
945
01:18:29,706 --> 01:18:32,916
If you do that,
once I have vanquished you...
946
01:18:33,210 --> 01:18:37,260
...I will go back and set up this key.
947
01:18:41,009 --> 01:18:41,929
[click]
948
01:18:47,766 --> 01:18:50,436
And another gun.
949
01:18:57,526 --> 01:18:58,436
[click]
950
01:19:00,278 --> 01:19:03,368
Right, dude. Only there's one thing
you didn't think of.
951
01:19:03,573 --> 01:19:06,953
Yeah. Only the winners are gonna be
able to go back and set things up.
952
01:19:07,160 --> 01:19:09,790
Yeah. And that's gonna be us, dude.
953
01:19:09,996 --> 01:19:12,916
We set up the key,
and we set up the gun.
954
01:19:13,083 --> 01:19:16,043
[crowd cheering]
955
01:19:16,628 --> 01:19:18,548
Excuse me.
956
01:19:18,797 --> 01:19:21,337
Your shoelaces are untied.
- What?
957
01:19:27,556 --> 01:19:29,806
[laughing]
Melvined.
958
01:19:30,767 --> 01:19:33,847
[guitar noodling]
959
01:19:43,822 --> 01:19:45,372
You're under arrest, pal.
960
01:19:45,532 --> 01:19:47,282
Way to go, Dad!
961
01:19:52,080 --> 01:19:53,920
Book him, Danno.
962
01:19:57,627 --> 01:19:59,667
[guitar noodling]
963
01:20:00,964 --> 01:20:02,594
Good job, Death.
964
01:20:07,888 --> 01:20:09,558
Who was that guy?
965
01:20:09,806 --> 01:20:12,926
Perhaps I can answer
that question, gentlemen.
966
01:20:13,268 --> 01:20:15,308
Ms. Wardroe, thanks for the help.
967
01:20:15,520 --> 01:20:18,190
Yeah. You know, we definitely...
968
01:20:18,982 --> 01:20:20,982
Take it off, baby!
969
01:20:29,534 --> 01:20:31,044
Rufus!
970
01:20:31,244 --> 01:20:32,504
How long you been here, dude?
971
01:20:32,954 --> 01:20:35,084
Got here just in time
for your audition, William.
972
01:20:35,457 --> 01:20:38,747
So you were Ms. Wardroe all along.
973
01:20:38,960 --> 01:20:42,630
Hey. Would anyone else have let you
in this contest?
974
01:20:43,423 --> 01:20:44,593
[all:]
No.
975
01:20:45,133 --> 01:20:49,893
Now, amigos, that was Mr. Chuck
De Nomolos, my old gym teacher.
976
01:20:50,138 --> 01:20:54,598
And, by the way, sit-up champion
of the 27th century.
977
01:20:54,810 --> 01:20:59,360
And now, gentlemen, I believe
the stage belongs to you.
978
01:20:59,523 --> 01:21:00,903
Thanks, Rufus.
979
01:21:14,079 --> 01:21:16,619
Dude, we still don't know how to play.
980
01:21:17,165 --> 01:21:19,285
Maybe we ought to get good, Ted.
981
01:21:19,584 --> 01:21:20,754
How?
982
01:21:25,966 --> 01:21:27,836
[buttons pressing]
983
01:21:43,066 --> 01:21:46,896
That was a fast 16 months
of intensive guitar training, dude.
984
01:21:47,070 --> 01:21:51,620
Yeah, except for that two-week
medieval honeymoon.
985
01:21:53,660 --> 01:21:56,040
Hello, San Dimas!
986
01:21:56,246 --> 01:21:57,156
Hello!
987
01:21:57,372 --> 01:21:59,672
Want to introduce you
to a little friend of mine.
988
01:22:00,000 --> 01:22:01,630
This is little Ted.
989
01:22:02,252 --> 01:22:04,592
Hello, little Ted!
990
01:22:04,838 --> 01:22:06,718
This is little Bill.
991
01:22:06,923 --> 01:22:08,723
Hello, little Bill!
992
01:22:10,260 --> 01:22:14,640
Now for the rest of our band.
Ted?
993
01:22:16,683 --> 01:22:21,443
On conga and bongos, proof positive
that you can't tell a book by its cover...
994
01:22:21,730 --> 01:22:24,360
...the dude who can make one word
mean anything...
995
01:22:24,649 --> 01:22:26,529
...Station!
996
01:22:31,656 --> 01:22:33,156
Our backup dancers...
997
01:22:33,408 --> 01:22:36,078
...Station's most bodacious
creations...
998
01:22:36,286 --> 01:22:38,996
...the Good Robot Usses!
999
01:22:45,420 --> 01:22:46,550
And over here...
1000
01:22:46,838 --> 01:22:49,718
...our bass player,
the Duke of Spooks...
1001
01:22:50,008 --> 01:22:52,678
...the Doc of Shocks,
the Man With No Tan...
1002
01:22:52,928 --> 01:22:55,758
...please say hello
to Death himself...
1003
01:22:56,056 --> 01:22:58,056
...the Grim Reaper!
1004
01:22:59,935 --> 01:23:03,475
♪ [Steve Vai feat. William Sadler's
"Meet The Reaper" playing] ♪
1005
01:23:05,649 --> 01:23:08,279
You might be a king
Or a little street sweeper
1006
01:23:08,485 --> 01:23:11,855
But sooner or later
You dance with the Reaper
1007
01:23:16,785 --> 01:23:19,325
Get down with your bad self!
1008
01:23:25,919 --> 01:23:29,589
I love show business.
[laughs]
1009
01:23:29,798 --> 01:23:31,588
Ladies and gentlemen...
1010
01:23:32,258 --> 01:23:34,298
...we've been to the past.
1011
01:23:34,678 --> 01:23:36,508
We've been to the future.
1012
01:23:36,930 --> 01:23:39,310
We've been all around the afterlife.
1013
01:23:39,933 --> 01:23:42,733
And you know...
Ted?
1014
01:23:43,478 --> 01:23:45,438
The best place to be...
1015
01:23:48,400 --> 01:23:49,780
...is here.
1016
01:23:50,819 --> 01:23:52,739
And the best time to be...
1017
01:23:53,279 --> 01:23:54,699
...is now.
1018
01:24:00,578 --> 01:24:03,208
And all's we can say is...
1019
01:24:05,208 --> 01:24:06,418
...let's rock!
1020
01:24:07,669 --> 01:24:09,209
One! Two!
1021
01:24:09,462 --> 01:24:12,172
One, two, three, four!
1022
01:24:12,382 --> 01:24:14,182
♪ [Steve Vai's "Final
Guitar Solo" playing] ♪
1023
01:24:54,632 --> 01:24:58,432
♪ [Kiss' "God Gave Rock 'N'
Roll to You II" playing] ♪
1024
01:25:36,633 --> 01:25:39,393
Right good! Right good!
1025
01:27:46,846 --> 01:27:47,806
[over radio]
Stallyns One...
1026
01:27:47,972 --> 01:27:51,562
Stallyns One, you are clear to leave...
1027
01:27:52,227 --> 01:27:53,517
Drums...
1028
01:27:53,728 --> 01:27:55,518
- Ten... nine...
- Keyboards...
1029
01:27:55,730 --> 01:27:56,980
- ...eight...
- Affirmative.
1030
01:27:57,190 --> 01:27:59,280
Ignition sequence start.
Engines on.
1031
01:27:59,484 --> 01:28:02,204
- ...five... four... three... two...
- That's a check.
1032
01:28:02,403 --> 01:28:04,203
- ...one.
- Good luck boys.
1033
01:28:11,996 --> 01:28:13,916
You are go, Stallyns One!
1034
01:28:14,958 --> 01:28:17,248
Come home soon. We'll miss you.