1
00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:28,627
Doogie!
2
00:00:28,628 --> 00:00:30,928
Douglas, i can't understand why you're so angry.
3
00:00:30,931 --> 00:00:32,664
We caught the fish.
4
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:34,066
Ha ha.
5
00:00:34,068 --> 00:00:35,834
A good-sized
critter,
6
00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:36,969
I might add.
7
00:00:36,971 --> 00:00:39,071
You just
don't get it, dad.
8
00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:43,175
I don't care.
I never wanted to come here.
9
00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:45,427
What?
10
00:00:45,428 --> 00:00:47,678
I could be in palm springs with wanda right now.
11
00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:50,049
Instead,
i'm stuck out here--
12
00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:51,383
Needs more butter.
13
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,218
...Talking to the fish!
14
00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:55,254
Butter.
15
00:00:55,256 --> 00:00:57,156
More.
16
00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:24,650
Murray, get the door!
17
00:01:24,652 --> 00:01:27,352
I've grown out
of these trips.
18
00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:28,287
Butter.
19
00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:32,758
I don't want to be the great white hunter.
20
00:01:33,861 --> 00:01:37,629
Sorry to disturb you at this hour,
mr. Seidenbaum,
21
00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:40,499
But you have been
personally selected
22
00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:42,000
To receive a most...
23
00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:43,102
Irresistible offer.
24
00:01:43,104 --> 00:01:44,336
Giving me instructions
25
00:01:44,338 --> 00:01:46,572
Like i was still
a little boy.
26
00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:49,007
I didn't realize
you felt like this.
27
00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:53,612
I'm surprised you didn't say anything before this.
28
00:01:54,148 --> 00:01:58,217
Murray, what are you
doing back there?
29
00:01:58,219 --> 00:01:59,551
Murray!
30
00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:04,857
Aah!
31
00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:12,784
My name is darryl knable.
32
00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:16,421
I'm a normal kid
who led a pretty normal life...
33
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:17,723
Until that night.
34
00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:19,858
It looks and feels natural,
35
00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:21,326
Whether you're
skimming the surf
36
00:04:21,328 --> 00:04:24,296
Or racing the wind
on a cruiser for two.
37
00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:26,365
And remember,
we stand behind it.
38
00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:29,434
I'm not only the hair club president,
39
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,887
But also a client.
40
00:04:31,888 --> 00:04:34,339
In describing my dad,
several names come to mind--
41
00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:35,841
Bill cosby, alan thicke,
42
00:04:35,843 --> 00:04:37,175
The brady bunch father.
43
00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:38,810
My dad watched
all of them.
44
00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:42,648
In fact, he watched
anything on tv all the time.
45
00:04:42,650 --> 00:04:44,583
They say
the average american
46
00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:46,652
Watches 7 1/2 hours
of tv a day.
47
00:04:46,654 --> 00:04:50,789
If that's true,
there are two guys who never watch,
48
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:54,092
And my dad
took their times.
49
00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:55,994
Perhaps i shall
one day.
50
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:59,031
You have some dispatches for me, captain?
51
00:04:59,033 --> 00:05:01,700
I have some dispatches
for the queen.
52
00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:04,836
Prepare to taste
corsican steel.
53
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,641
Uhh!
54
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,544
Hi.
55
00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:13,445
Hi.
56
00:05:13,447 --> 00:05:15,714
It's late.
57
00:05:15,715 --> 00:05:17,982
Yeah, i know.
I'll be up in a minute, honey.
58
00:05:19,286 --> 00:05:21,253
I'm thinking
of renting out
59
00:05:21,255 --> 00:05:23,221
Your side of the bed.
60
00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:24,723
Huh?
61
00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:34,166
Don't get me wrong.
62
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,134
I like tv just as much
as the next person.
63
00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:40,405
It's just there are more things you can do with it
64
00:05:40,407 --> 00:05:43,075
Than only watch it.
65
00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:45,744
For instance, you can
also make money with it.
66
00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:56,121
We interrupt this broadcast for a special report.
67
00:05:56,123 --> 00:05:59,157
Young electronics
genius darryl knable
68
00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:01,593
Has just won
the nobel prize.
69
00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:03,161
Oh, you dipstick.
70
00:06:03,163 --> 00:06:05,664
For secretly videotaping
his sister diane
71
00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:08,100
French-kissing with
her boyfriend chris.
72
00:06:08,102 --> 00:06:09,401
We're talking
tongues here!
73
00:06:09,403 --> 00:06:12,804
For copies of this tape,
send $3.00 to...
74
00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:17,542
Darryl knable,
1532 blue jay court--
75
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:26,418
Hey, knable,
your kid's messing up my tv reception again.
76
00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:29,421
And your dog's
messing up my dichondra.
77
00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:32,124
Rivets didn't do that.
78
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,826
Then there's a brontosaurus loose in the neighborhood.
79
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:39,831
Bad dog. Bad, bad doggie.
80
00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:42,367
I'm going to call
the fcc!
81
00:06:42,369 --> 00:06:43,368
The fcc!
82
00:06:45,321 --> 00:06:47,271
My mom was a big-deal
advertising executive
83
00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:49,942
With a vitamin company.
84
00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:52,611
My dad had this real suck job selling plumbing supplies.
85
00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:54,546
I heard them
arguing one night,
86
00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:57,048
And she said
he was suffering from
87
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:59,885
Something called
a mid-life crisis,
88
00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:01,386
Whatever that is.
89
00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:02,754
He said he wasn't.
90
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:06,258
She said he was jealous
of her success.
91
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:07,759
He said he wasn't.
92
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:10,395
They argued a lot.
93
00:07:20,207 --> 00:07:24,009
Aah!
94
00:07:38,392 --> 00:07:39,558
So that's my dad,
95
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,827
Going to his
pretty normal home
96
00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:44,696
After his pretty normal day
at his suck job,
97
00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:46,431
Ready to watch his tv.
98
00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:50,235
That brings us to that night
i was talking about.
99
00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:52,604
That's when
everything changed.
100
00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:57,709
I love you.
101
00:07:57,711 --> 00:08:00,278
I don't care
who loves who--
102
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,714
I won't play
the sap for you.
103
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:06,718
You killed miles, and
you're going over for it.
104
00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:12,023
Wait, wait, wait.
Where are you two going?
105
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:14,326
Mom, remember?
106
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,628
Oh, right.
You're spending the night with friends.
107
00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:17,629
Diane...
108
00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:18,964
No boys.
109
00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:20,298
Mother,
i am not a child.
110
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:24,169
Mm-hmm. You go directly to tracy's,
you understand?
111
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:25,704
Right.
112
00:08:27,574 --> 00:08:31,142
Mom, you know my friend
billy stephan?
113
00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:32,394
Mm-hmm.
114
00:08:32,395 --> 00:08:33,645
Well, his dad
moved out for a while.
115
00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:38,016
Then his parents went away and
sat in a hot tub all weekend.
116
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:41,319
When they got back,
billy's dad moved back in
117
00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:42,787
And things were all better.
118
00:08:42,789 --> 00:08:46,925
Did you plan this so your dad and i could be alone?
119
00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:51,296
We don't know how much
that hip bruise he got--
120
00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:52,364
Roy?
121
00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:53,532
Hi, helen.
122
00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:54,499
I have an idea.
123
00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:58,069
You know how proud i am of you-- pass it!
124
00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:00,505
Let's go away.
125
00:09:00,506 --> 00:09:02,940
Go ahead.
I'll be there in 4 minutes and 16 seconds.
126
00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:04,175
Roy. Roy, listen.
127
00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:06,945
Let's go away
like we used to,
128
00:09:06,947 --> 00:09:08,680
To the mountains.
129
00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:09,414
O.K.
130
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:10,749
Just the two of us.
131
00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:13,285
No phones, no kids,
no tv.
132
00:09:13,287 --> 00:09:14,819
No tv?
133
00:09:14,821 --> 00:09:17,022
They don't have tv
there.
134
00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:18,957
Is there a plug?
135
00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:20,525
This is abnormal.
136
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:23,194
Honey, you're just
shutting yourself off
137
00:09:23,196 --> 00:09:26,598
From everything
and everybody.
138
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,067
Are you having problems?
139
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,469
Is--is it me?
140
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,371
Yes! No.
141
00:09:33,372 --> 00:09:34,838
Is--is it work?
Are you having trouble at work?
142
00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:39,010
Of course not.
What makes you say something like that?
143
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:40,478
Shoot, you idiot.
Shoot.
144
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:43,615
The one thing we always
promised each other
145
00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:46,117
Is that we would
remain honest.
146
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:48,653
We are honest
with each other.
147
00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:50,155
Look...
148
00:09:50,156 --> 00:09:51,656
You say
that i'm shut off,
149
00:09:51,658 --> 00:09:54,426
That--that i can't
open up to you,
150
00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:55,460
That i'm closed down.
151
00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:58,129
O.K., well,
i'm going to tell you something
152
00:09:58,131 --> 00:10:00,498
That's--that's
very important to me.
153
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,367
I'm going to be
completely honest.
154
00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:06,071
I just don't want you to take this the wrong way.
155
00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:10,241
Oh, roy, talk to me.
I can take anything.
156
00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:13,745
We're in double overtime
here.
157
00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:16,748
Fine!
158
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,150
Watch tv.
159
00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:20,018
Thanks, sweetheart.
160
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:22,253
Could you move
just to--
161
00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:23,355
This is unbelievable!
162
00:10:23,357 --> 00:10:26,024
You couldn't listen to me
for two minutes
163
00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:28,460
Without that stupid television being on!
164
00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:31,262
When i married you,
you were a doer.
165
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:33,398
Now all you are
is a watcher!
166
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:36,668
He gave it away to drexler.
167
00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:39,638
Drexler fouled
at mid-court.
168
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:43,174
Oh, roy?
169
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:44,676
Huh?
170
00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:47,912
Hyah--aah!
171
00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:51,216
The tv!
172
00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:53,084
I was afraid
173
00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:55,654
You were keeping tina
out of pity,
174
00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:57,689
But that wasn't pity
just now.
175
00:10:57,691 --> 00:11:00,058
Now i know
you still love me.
176
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:02,427
It won't die,
what's between us.
177
00:11:02,429 --> 00:11:04,062
Do what you will--
178
00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:04,996
Never happen.
179
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,698
Ignore it,
neglect it--
180
00:11:06,699 --> 00:11:08,399
No further developments
in the disappearance
181
00:11:08,402 --> 00:11:10,702
Of murray and sarah
seidenbaum of oakview.
182
00:11:10,704 --> 00:11:15,840
Police are still baffled and report they have no clues.
183
00:11:26,687 --> 00:11:28,219
Ahhhh...
184
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:28,920
Roy...
185
00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:31,022
Your boring little life
186
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,991
Is about to become
187
00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:35,860
Much more exciting.
188
00:11:42,703 --> 00:11:44,202
Mr. Knable?
189
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:47,338
Sorry to disturb you
at this hour,
190
00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:49,307
But you've been
personally selected
191
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:52,644
To receive a most
irresistible offer.
192
00:11:52,646 --> 00:11:54,413
I'm busy.
193
00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:56,181
Wait, mr. Knable.
I have something you want--
194
00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:57,248
Escape...
195
00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:59,317
From all your
failures and woes,
196
00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:01,853
At the touch
of your thumb...
197
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:03,822
On this.
198
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:07,125
Go ahead.
199
00:12:11,465 --> 00:12:13,732
Your new controller.
200
00:12:14,801 --> 00:12:20,238
Your passport to the ultimate television adventure.
201
00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:21,639
Cute place.
202
00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:22,741
You fence!
203
00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:25,310
Oh, i used to.
204
00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:27,746
Did you ever, uh,
kill anyone?
205
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:30,215
Of course not.
Look, mr., uh...
206
00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:31,049
Spike.
207
00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:33,284
At your service.
208
00:12:34,821 --> 00:12:37,622
What exactly is it
that you're selling?
209
00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:40,391
Mmm! Attractive.
The little woman.
210
00:12:40,393 --> 00:12:42,260
You two
having difficulties?
211
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:44,329
Well, i don't see how--
212
00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:45,864
I know all about you, roy.
213
00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:49,267
Success, it's like a fly buzzing around your head.
214
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,770
You reach for it,
you grab it,
215
00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:54,239
And all you get is...
Nothing!
216
00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:56,107
You're tired
of nothing, roy,
217
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,777
So you want to hide
from everything,
218
00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:00,545
But she gives you heat,
right?
219
00:13:00,547 --> 00:13:03,581
Roy, wait till she
gets a load of this--
220
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:07,519
600 and 66 channels
of heart-pounding,
221
00:13:07,521 --> 00:13:08,987
Skull-blasting
entertainment.
222
00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:10,855
Comedy! Drama!
Hot-oil aerobics
223
00:13:10,857 --> 00:13:13,258
Like nothing you've ever seen, brother.
224
00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:15,860
Unlimited entertainment,
snatched from the ether
225
00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:18,530
And slammed into your brand-new 44-inch,
226
00:13:18,532 --> 00:13:22,500
900-line resolution,
3-way expanded-matrix,
227
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:25,470
Dolby stereo tv,
right here, roy.
228
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:27,005
A new tv?
229
00:13:27,006 --> 00:13:28,539
Straight from
the temple of high-tech.
230
00:13:28,542 --> 00:13:31,442
Make this thing
look like a philco.
231
00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:32,644
Some people would give
232
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:35,180
Their souls
for a system like this.
233
00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:38,750
Just sign here.
We're in business.
234
00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:42,921
I--i can't.
235
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:47,025
All right.
236
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:50,261
Good night, mr. Knable.
237
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:54,132
Did i mention, uh...
238
00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:55,834
Free trial?
239
00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:57,635
Free?
240
00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:06,511
Well, roy,
all set for the tv adventure of a lifetime?
241
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:07,946
Now remember...
242
00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:09,380
You'll have to
adjust the dish
243
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,115
To fine-tune reception.
244
00:14:11,117 --> 00:14:12,784
Like this.
245
00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:32,003
Enjoy your new system,
roy.
246
00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:34,138
We'll be in touch.
247
00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:35,673
Ha ha ha!
248
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,842
That was a dead end!
249
00:14:38,612 --> 00:14:41,412
Ha ha ha ha!
250
00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:52,123
Hi.
251
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:54,826
Ho ho ho ho ho!
252
00:14:54,828 --> 00:14:57,061
Ha ha ha ha ha!
253
00:14:57,063 --> 00:15:00,298
Ha ha ha ha ha!
254
00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:06,638
Aah!
255
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:08,907
Now, honey, just
keep an open mind.
256
00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:12,210
There's no obligation.
I got it on a free trial.
257
00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:15,580
It's a whole satellite system,
over 600 channels.
258
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:17,849
¶ I hate to leave you ¶
259
00:15:17,851 --> 00:15:20,418
¶ but i really must say ¶
260
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:23,922
¶ oh, good night,
sweetheart ¶
261
00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:26,224
Wednesdays at 9:00...
262
00:15:26,493 --> 00:15:29,260
The salesman said we'd get a lot of shows
263
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,863
You can't get
on regular tv.
264
00:15:31,865 --> 00:15:33,631
Helen?
265
00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:36,167
Helen?
266
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:38,870
I don't want this anymore!
267
00:15:38,872 --> 00:15:41,472
We thought it would be funny,
268
00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:44,275
If our bob, dressed
as a policeman,
269
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,477
Would tell
a perfect stranger
270
00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:47,946
Her husband is dead.
271
00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:49,681
Mrs. Cecily barth?
272
00:15:49,683 --> 00:15:51,433
Yes.
273
00:15:51,434 --> 00:15:53,184
Your husband's name
was steven barth?
274
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:54,152
Was?
275
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:55,687
What do you
mean, was?
276
00:15:55,689 --> 00:15:59,023
Did your husband drive
a 1978 chevrolet impala?
277
00:15:59,025 --> 00:16:00,058
What are you saying?
278
00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:02,126
Has something happened
to my steven?
279
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:05,463
Watch her reaction to the bad news.
280
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,065
I'm afraid so.
281
00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:08,032
Ah! Aah!
282
00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:11,236
It's all right.
283
00:16:11,237 --> 00:16:13,371
I think it's time for mrs.
Barth
284
00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:15,506
To be let in on the fun.
285
00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:18,343
Mrs. Barth, look
across the street
286
00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:20,345
At that van behind me.
287
00:16:20,347 --> 00:16:23,514
Look really carefully.
288
00:16:23,984 --> 00:16:25,984
Is that, uh...
289
00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:27,518
It's a camera, yes.
290
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,954
Then... You mean...
291
00:16:29,956 --> 00:16:31,522
Yes, mrs. Barth.
292
00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:32,890
You're on...
293
00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:35,426
Sadistic hidden videos?
294
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:37,528
And you're... Bob.
295
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:39,130
Ha ha ha ha!
296
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:40,498
I'm on tv?
297
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,233
Uhh! Oh, you guys!
298
00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:44,102
Oh!
299
00:16:49,943 --> 00:16:52,677
The dish needs adjusting.
300
00:16:58,251 --> 00:17:00,251
Ohh!
301
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:03,755
That'll improve
the reception!
302
00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:05,957
Yeah?
303
00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:08,393
Oh, yeah, roy?
304
00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:10,962
Well,
how's this?
305
00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:13,264
You receiving this?
306
00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:14,766
Are you getting this?
307
00:17:14,768 --> 00:17:16,200
Will you stop it?
308
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:18,302
I am leaving you, roy.
309
00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:26,978
I want a man who'll touch me
rather than his remote control.
310
00:17:26,980 --> 00:17:29,947
Please hang on
a second.
311
00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:31,282
We have to talk!
312
00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:34,052
It's too late
to talk!
313
00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:44,796
Whoa!
314
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:00,678
Fasten your seat belts,
folks.
315
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,881
It's going to be
a bumpy ride!
316
00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:05,383
Ha ha ha ha!
317
00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:07,652
Ha ha ha ha.
318
00:18:08,388 --> 00:18:11,589
And welcome back to...
319
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:14,859
You can't win!
You can't win!
320
00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:17,695
Now let's welcome
our new contestants
321
00:18:17,697 --> 00:18:21,099
Roy and helen knable!
322
00:18:25,038 --> 00:18:28,506
Do you know
the rules of our game?
323
00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:29,907
What game?
324
00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:33,311
The game with these
great prizes.
325
00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:34,479
Jay?
326
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:35,646
Feast your eyes on this--
327
00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:37,782
The all-new nappa-crapper
9000.
328
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:41,352
You'll never have to
get off your fat butt again.
329
00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:42,887
It has every amenity--
330
00:18:42,889 --> 00:18:44,355
A built-in color tv.
331
00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:47,892
It adjusts to you
so you don't have to move.
332
00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:50,761
No more trips to the kitchen
during commercials.
333
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:53,898
Better yet, no more annoying
trips to the bathroom.
334
00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:57,335
Your television viewing
never has to be interrupted,
335
00:18:57,337 --> 00:18:59,103
And of course,
win or lose,
336
00:18:59,105 --> 00:19:03,207
Every contestant takes home
a set of encyclopedia satanica!
337
00:19:03,209 --> 00:19:06,477
And now it's time to play...
338
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:07,879
You can't win.
339
00:19:07,881 --> 00:19:09,113
Back to you, guy.
340
00:19:09,115 --> 00:19:11,582
Roy, the first question's
for you.
341
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:13,584
On your last
wedding anniversary,
342
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:16,954
You missed the romantic dinner your wife had planned.
343
00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:19,490
The reason,
a--car trouble.
344
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:22,426
B--you were
running a marathon.
345
00:19:22,428 --> 00:19:24,529
C--you were in a bar
346
00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:28,065
Swilling a beer,
watching... World series.
347
00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:30,434
Car trouble,
just like i said!
348
00:19:30,436 --> 00:19:32,737
No! Can you take it?
349
00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:34,872
You were watching
baseball?
350
00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:37,008
That's right!
351
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:42,413
Trust me, babe.
You walked into the right place.
352
00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:44,999
Very cushy down here.
353
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:47,584
You can cool your heels in here for the rest of eternity
354
00:19:47,587 --> 00:19:49,520
If you
kiss the right ass.
355
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:52,089
These lips ain't calloused for nothing!
356
00:19:52,091 --> 00:19:53,224
Ha ha ha ha!
357
00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:55,126
Are you some kind
of comedian?
358
00:19:55,128 --> 00:19:58,196
I once opened
for liberace in vegas.
359
00:19:58,198 --> 00:19:58,863
Great.
360
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,131
This is
the jumbotron.
361
00:20:00,133 --> 00:20:02,767
It's got all the bells
and whistles.
362
00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:04,335
It's our
official scoreboard.
363
00:20:04,337 --> 00:20:06,537
Keeps
track of the sbis.
364
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,639
Souls batted in.
365
00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:09,907
Ha ha ha.
366
00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:12,677
Kind of a sports thing.
367
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:17,782
Time for the
seidenbaums, sir.
368
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:26,424
Punch 'em up.
369
00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:30,094
Mmm...
The seidenbaums.
370
00:20:30,096 --> 00:20:32,129
Yearning for
exotic locales.
371
00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:35,766
This episode
takes them to tokyo.
372
00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:37,635
They're having
a wonderful time
373
00:20:37,637 --> 00:20:39,403
Starring in
their own movie.
374
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:43,140
It's the seidenbaums
versus...
375
00:20:43,142 --> 00:20:46,711
The gigantic
stinking-footed lizard!
376
00:20:46,713 --> 00:20:48,112
Aah!
377
00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:48,746
Ooh!
378
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:51,682
Sayonara, mrs. Seidenbaum.
379
00:20:58,124 --> 00:20:59,423
That's entertainment.
380
00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:00,858
Oh, he's good.
381
00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:02,360
He's so good.
382
00:21:02,362 --> 00:21:03,694
Ha ha ha!
383
00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:05,129
Shocking.
384
00:21:05,131 --> 00:21:08,132
Sir, this is pierce,
our new, uh, intern.
385
00:21:08,134 --> 00:21:10,568
If you can't stomach
the sight of blood--
386
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:13,304
It's not the blood
i find distressing.
387
00:21:13,306 --> 00:21:15,439
It's your lack
of subtext.
388
00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:18,109
Film school graduate.
389
00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,210
Yes, sir.
390
00:21:19,212 --> 00:21:20,695
Usc.
391
00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:22,179
I did my thesis on kurosawa and spike lee.
392
00:21:22,181 --> 00:21:25,983
Mr.
Pierce, let me educate you about our organization.
393
00:21:25,985 --> 00:21:27,018
Here at hellvision,
394
00:21:27,020 --> 00:21:30,154
We've turned the process
of soul acquisition
395
00:21:30,156 --> 00:21:31,689
Into an entertainment
extravaganza,
396
00:21:31,691 --> 00:21:37,028
And all for the benefit of one
very demanding viewer below.
397
00:21:37,030 --> 00:21:38,296
The boss himself,
398
00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:40,064
And i don't mean
springsteen.
399
00:21:40,066 --> 00:21:42,333
He has an enormous
appetite for misfortune.
400
00:21:42,335 --> 00:21:45,903
It is our job to supply him with an eclectic offering
401
00:21:45,905 --> 00:21:48,906
Of light amusements,
not subtext!
402
00:21:49,442 --> 00:21:50,608
Don't go away, knables!
403
00:21:50,610 --> 00:21:54,045
It's time for...
The final question.
404
00:21:54,047 --> 00:21:56,747
What's that mean?
405
00:21:56,749 --> 00:21:59,083
The pit!
The pit!
406
00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:03,754
Yes, the pit!
407
00:22:03,756 --> 00:22:06,824
And what's down there
today, jay?
408
00:22:06,826 --> 00:22:11,595
Lots of slimy, crawly
bad things, guy.
409
00:22:11,597 --> 00:22:12,363
Eeeuw!
410
00:22:12,365 --> 00:22:14,031
Now you have
10 seconds
411
00:22:14,033 --> 00:22:17,935
To answer the question
correctly, or be...
412
00:22:17,937 --> 00:22:19,503
Eliminated.
413
00:22:19,505 --> 00:22:21,205
Aah!
414
00:22:21,207 --> 00:22:24,108
So the object's
to get to the end--
415
00:22:24,110 --> 00:22:27,044
The object's to kill them
before the end.
416
00:22:27,046 --> 00:22:29,213
Take the knables,
for instance.
417
00:22:29,215 --> 00:22:30,348
They just
checked in.
418
00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:33,117
If they survive 24 hours,
they go back.
419
00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:35,786
Part of our treaty
with the other side.
420
00:22:35,788 --> 00:22:37,922
Kind of
a geneva convention
421
00:22:37,924 --> 00:22:40,124
In the war
for souls.
422
00:22:40,126 --> 00:22:41,125
Ha ha ha ha!
423
00:22:41,127 --> 00:22:44,395
Name the person who's recently been seeing
424
00:22:44,397 --> 00:22:45,830
A former lover.
425
00:22:45,832 --> 00:22:47,565
Is it,
a--roy?
426
00:22:47,567 --> 00:22:48,466
No.
427
00:22:48,468 --> 00:22:49,700
B--helen?
428
00:22:49,702 --> 00:22:53,304
Or c--roy and helen?
429
00:22:53,306 --> 00:22:55,540
I know, i know.
430
00:22:55,541 --> 00:22:57,775
The former lovers we've been seeing are each other!
431
00:22:57,777 --> 00:23:01,679
You're...
432
00:23:01,681 --> 00:23:03,247
Right!
433
00:23:03,249 --> 00:23:05,850
Aah!
434
00:23:06,352 --> 00:23:10,354
We'll be back with the knables' vacation round
435
00:23:10,356 --> 00:23:12,423
Right after this!
436
00:23:16,562 --> 00:23:18,729
How long do they
usually last?
437
00:23:18,731 --> 00:23:21,298
Whether they go
quickly or not,
438
00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:23,701
In the end,
they always join us.
439
00:23:23,703 --> 00:23:26,437
You're forgetting that wiry little peruvian chap.
440
00:23:26,439 --> 00:23:29,073
A mistake, mr. Crowley,
that won't be repeated.
441
00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:32,243
Hey, it wasn't me
that loused up. Jeez.
442
00:23:32,245 --> 00:23:35,513
Are you implying
that if was my fault?
443
00:23:36,115 --> 00:23:37,114
I'm kidding!
444
00:23:37,116 --> 00:23:38,883
You know me.
445
00:23:38,885 --> 00:23:41,886
Always joking.
446
00:23:41,887 --> 00:23:44,888
I think, mr.
Crowley, it's time for a little... Field work.
447
00:23:44,891 --> 00:23:46,290
Uh...
448
00:23:46,292 --> 00:23:48,392
Spike.
449
00:23:49,262 --> 00:23:50,828
Sir.
450
00:23:50,830 --> 00:23:52,530
Uh...
451
00:23:52,531 --> 00:23:54,231
Why don't i
take you to lunch?
452
00:23:54,233 --> 00:23:57,301
We can sit down.
We can--
453
00:23:57,303 --> 00:23:59,370
Oh, boy.
454
00:23:59,372 --> 00:24:02,173
Hey, spike,
come on.
455
00:24:02,175 --> 00:24:03,674
You know me.
456
00:24:03,676 --> 00:24:04,775
Heh heh heh.
457
00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:06,977
Chronic foot-in-the-mouth disease.
458
00:24:06,979 --> 00:24:09,747
I don't want to
do field work.
459
00:24:09,749 --> 00:24:11,282
I'm
executive material.
460
00:24:11,284 --> 00:24:13,250
I belong
here with you.
461
00:24:13,252 --> 00:24:16,020
Aaahhh!
462
00:24:17,523 --> 00:24:21,826
Screw up in here,
and you're dead meat...
463
00:24:21,828 --> 00:24:23,627
Dead meat.
464
00:24:25,898 --> 00:24:27,364
Mr. And mrs. Knable,
465
00:24:27,366 --> 00:24:28,966
It's time to find out
466
00:24:28,968 --> 00:24:33,604
Where you go on
your fantasy vacation.
467
00:24:41,414 --> 00:24:45,015
Door number 1
it is!
468
00:24:45,852 --> 00:24:47,084
What is going on?
469
00:24:47,086 --> 00:24:50,754
You're going on
the trip of a lifetime!
470
00:24:50,756 --> 00:24:53,424
Aah!
471
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:03,000
Ladies and gentlemen,
472
00:25:03,002 --> 00:25:05,503
The main event--
473
00:25:05,505 --> 00:25:07,104
Mixed pairs wrestling.
474
00:25:07,106 --> 00:25:08,706
No holds barred.
475
00:25:08,708 --> 00:25:11,609
No transfusions allowed.
476
00:25:11,611 --> 00:25:14,144
A battle to the death!
477
00:25:14,146 --> 00:25:16,981
This has got to be
a dream.
478
00:25:16,983 --> 00:25:20,084
It's a bad dream.
479
00:25:20,085 --> 00:25:23,186
In this corner, roy
"the couch potato" knable
480
00:25:23,189 --> 00:25:26,323
And his wife
helen the harridan!
481
00:25:26,325 --> 00:25:27,725
I gotta wake up.
482
00:25:27,727 --> 00:25:29,527
And the challengers...
483
00:25:29,529 --> 00:25:31,295
The vilest and evilest duo
484
00:25:31,297 --> 00:25:34,598
Ever to disgrace
a wrestling ring...
485
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:39,436
That ogre and ogress...
The gorgons!
486
00:25:39,438 --> 00:25:41,372
Rraahhhrr!
487
00:25:41,374 --> 00:25:45,042
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
488
00:25:45,044 --> 00:25:45,943
Rraahhr!
489
00:25:45,945 --> 00:25:47,778
Calm down. Stay calm.
490
00:25:47,780 --> 00:25:49,113
Couch potato, come on.
491
00:25:49,115 --> 00:25:51,048
I--i think
he means us.
492
00:25:51,050 --> 00:25:54,652
Excuse me.
We're not suppose to be here.
493
00:25:54,654 --> 00:25:55,953
Rrraahhhr!
494
00:25:55,955 --> 00:25:57,121
O.K. Everything goes--
495
00:25:57,123 --> 00:25:59,957
Maim, murder each other,
i don't care,
496
00:25:59,959 --> 00:26:01,058
But keep it clean.
497
00:26:01,060 --> 00:26:03,761
When the bell rings,
kill or be killed.
498
00:26:03,763 --> 00:26:05,663
Do we look
like wrestlers?
499
00:26:05,665 --> 00:26:07,798
We have no idea
why we're here.
500
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:11,435
I'm a senior product manager for a vitamin company.
501
00:26:11,437 --> 00:26:13,037
Senior product manager?
502
00:26:13,039 --> 00:26:14,438
I got a promotion.
503
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,540
Why didn't you tell me?
504
00:26:16,542 --> 00:26:18,275
Roy, you know why.
505
00:26:18,277 --> 00:26:19,493
Why?
506
00:26:19,494 --> 00:26:20,710
Because my success
threatens you.
507
00:26:20,713 --> 00:26:23,547
Your success
does not threaten me.
508
00:26:23,549 --> 00:26:25,015
It does, too!
509
00:26:26,118 --> 00:26:27,801
Uh-oh.
510
00:26:27,802 --> 00:26:29,485
I've watched enough
wrestling to know
511
00:26:29,488 --> 00:26:30,788
It's all fake.
512
00:26:30,790 --> 00:26:33,390
No one
ever gets hurt--
513
00:26:33,392 --> 00:26:35,459
Aaaahhhh!
Rrraahhrr!
514
00:26:35,461 --> 00:26:37,127
Rrraahhhr!
515
00:26:42,368 --> 00:26:44,301
Roy!
516
00:26:51,110 --> 00:26:52,576
Not fake.
517
00:26:52,578 --> 00:26:54,795
It's not fake.
518
00:26:54,796 --> 00:26:57,013
Run for your life,
helen--quickly.
519
00:26:57,016 --> 00:26:58,749
Helen, hold me...
520
00:26:58,751 --> 00:27:00,451
Aah!
521
00:27:09,395 --> 00:27:10,361
Aah!
522
00:27:10,363 --> 00:27:13,063
Watch, mr. Pierce.
See how it's done.
523
00:27:13,065 --> 00:27:17,301
The exhilarating end
of a tedious life.
524
00:27:20,673 --> 00:27:22,206
Grrr!
525
00:27:24,510 --> 00:27:25,909
Get up. Get up!
526
00:27:25,911 --> 00:27:31,782
Here comes that gorgon girl
to finish the job.
527
00:27:31,784 --> 00:27:34,685
Leave him alone,
you bitch!
528
00:27:34,687 --> 00:27:36,587
Grrr!
529
00:27:36,589 --> 00:27:37,655
I apologize.
530
00:27:37,657 --> 00:27:41,425
You're probably really
not a bitch.
531
00:27:41,427 --> 00:27:43,093
Roy, get up!
532
00:27:44,330 --> 00:27:46,764
The gorgon's
in the seats!
533
00:27:46,766 --> 00:27:48,165
He's history!
534
00:27:48,167 --> 00:27:49,400
Roy!
535
00:27:49,402 --> 00:27:52,169
You know, for
a full-figured woman,
536
00:27:52,171 --> 00:27:54,638
You really wear
that outfit well.
537
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:56,240
Help! Ow!
538
00:27:56,242 --> 00:27:58,442
Whoa, nellie! Cat fight!
539
00:27:58,444 --> 00:28:00,611
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
540
00:28:00,613 --> 00:28:03,480
This could be the end.
541
00:28:04,650 --> 00:28:06,183
Grrr!
542
00:28:11,957 --> 00:28:14,958
My hair!
543
00:28:29,742 --> 00:28:31,542
Looks like
that pathetic loser
544
00:28:31,544 --> 00:28:37,214
Isn't going to be
as easy as we thought.
545
00:28:42,221 --> 00:28:43,053
Roy.
546
00:28:43,055 --> 00:28:44,988
What happened?
547
00:28:44,990 --> 00:28:46,156
We won.
548
00:28:46,158 --> 00:28:47,958
Or rather, i won.
549
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:48,959
Knables!
Knables!
550
00:28:48,961 --> 00:28:50,961
Knables!
Knables!
551
00:28:50,963 --> 00:28:53,797
Knables!
Knables!
552
00:28:56,669 --> 00:28:58,936
All right,
you won, too.
553
00:28:58,938 --> 00:29:00,671
Damn right.
554
00:29:01,707 --> 00:29:04,508
And your success
does not threaten me.
555
00:29:04,510 --> 00:29:06,977
It does, too.
556
00:29:31,504 --> 00:29:34,204
Totally wicked.
557
00:29:41,113 --> 00:29:43,213
Excellent.
558
00:29:46,685 --> 00:29:50,721
Where's mom and d--
oh, my god.
559
00:29:51,190 --> 00:29:53,090
Dad must have gotten it last night.
560
00:29:53,092 --> 00:29:54,825
How did james dean
really die?
561
00:29:54,827 --> 00:30:00,397
Find out tonight on autopsies of the rich and famous.
562
00:30:06,372 --> 00:30:09,106
The usual, sir?
563
00:30:09,108 --> 00:30:11,475
Please.
564
00:30:40,539 --> 00:30:41,972
Bizarre.
565
00:30:41,973 --> 00:30:43,406
Welcome to
northern overexposure,
566
00:30:43,407 --> 00:30:44,840
The story of a young doctor
from new york
567
00:30:44,844 --> 00:30:48,412
Who comes to alaska,
complains about everything,
568
00:30:48,414 --> 00:30:50,781
And freezes to death.
569
00:31:00,125 --> 00:31:04,428
Hello! Yoo-hoo, mister!
570
00:31:04,430 --> 00:31:07,598
Stay away!
These are my holes!
571
00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:08,298
Back off!
572
00:31:08,300 --> 00:31:10,434
Oh, knable,
it's only you.
573
00:31:10,436 --> 00:31:12,636
How does he know
our name?
574
00:31:12,638 --> 00:31:15,672
Trying to find
a conduit out of here.
575
00:31:15,674 --> 00:31:17,274
Conduit?
576
00:31:17,275 --> 00:31:18,875
Yeah. A window
to the next channel.
577
00:31:18,878 --> 00:31:22,045
If you think i'm spending
the rest of eternity here,
578
00:31:22,047 --> 00:31:23,080
You're crazy!
579
00:31:24,550 --> 00:31:27,117
Here it is!
Here it is!
580
00:31:27,119 --> 00:31:29,052
This is it!
581
00:31:38,597 --> 00:31:40,931
The shack!
582
00:31:48,374 --> 00:31:50,340
Aah!
583
00:31:51,877 --> 00:31:54,344
Helen! Helen!
584
00:32:09,194 --> 00:32:12,562
Hey, mom and dad
left us a note.
585
00:32:12,564 --> 00:32:13,563
Give me that.
586
00:32:13,565 --> 00:32:16,700
"Dear kids,
had to leave for a while.
587
00:32:16,702 --> 00:32:19,603
"Will call tomorrow
to explain.
588
00:32:19,605 --> 00:32:20,771
Love, mom."
589
00:32:20,773 --> 00:32:23,941
Killer!
The house to myself!
590
00:32:23,943 --> 00:32:25,976
They did it.
591
00:32:25,977 --> 00:32:28,010
They went away,
just like billy's mom and dad did.
592
00:32:28,013 --> 00:32:31,248
And now it's your turn
to go away, dweebnik.
593
00:32:31,250 --> 00:32:35,085
Shelley, it's me.
Guess what?
594
00:33:53,499 --> 00:33:55,198
What are you doing?
595
00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:56,867
Did you see that?
596
00:33:56,869 --> 00:33:59,202
That dish,
it ate my bmx.
597
00:33:59,204 --> 00:34:02,639
Is this some kind
of male puberty thing?
598
00:34:03,909 --> 00:34:05,809
Let me get
this straight.
599
00:34:05,811 --> 00:34:09,413
We've been sucked into
some kind of tv world?
600
00:34:09,415 --> 00:34:11,681
Are you saying
that that salesman was--
601
00:34:11,683 --> 00:34:13,400
Mr. Spike--
602
00:34:13,401 --> 00:34:15,118
Mephistopheles
of the cathode ray,
603
00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:16,987
Big brother
to the ungrateful dead.
604
00:34:16,989 --> 00:34:20,957
If we ever cross
channels again--ho ho ho!
605
00:34:20,959 --> 00:34:22,125
Roy, how could you?
606
00:34:22,127 --> 00:34:24,661
I thought
i was buying a tv.
607
00:34:24,663 --> 00:34:27,564
Oh! This is
just great.
608
00:34:27,566 --> 00:34:28,665
This is great.
609
00:34:28,667 --> 00:34:31,001
You wanted to live
in a tv fantasy?
610
00:34:31,003 --> 00:34:32,369
You got your wish.
611
00:34:32,371 --> 00:34:34,771
At least we're not dead.
612
00:34:34,773 --> 00:34:35,505
Not yet.
613
00:34:35,507 --> 00:34:37,541
Stay alive
another 15 hours--
614
00:34:37,543 --> 00:34:40,310
Bingo. Free pass
back to reality.
615
00:34:40,312 --> 00:34:42,679
The odds
of making it are--
616
00:34:44,983 --> 00:34:46,383
Oh, my.
617
00:34:46,385 --> 00:34:49,453
The cold's no place
for a stiff.
618
00:34:49,455 --> 00:34:50,520
Oh, my god.
619
00:34:50,522 --> 00:34:51,888
Don't panic.
620
00:34:51,890 --> 00:34:54,257
I got us into this,
i'll get us out.
621
00:34:54,259 --> 00:34:58,762
Your leadership skills couldn't get us out of a t-shirt!
622
00:35:04,636 --> 00:35:06,703
I'll get it!
623
00:35:07,940 --> 00:35:09,072
Hi!
Hi! Hi!
624
00:35:09,074 --> 00:35:11,208
Hi. Come in.
625
00:35:18,117 --> 00:35:20,951
I don't believe in
out-of-body experiences.
626
00:35:20,953 --> 00:35:23,653
That's because you hold
your emotions back.
627
00:35:23,655 --> 00:35:25,572
Do not.
628
00:35:25,573 --> 00:35:27,490
What do you think
of this color?
629
00:35:27,493 --> 00:35:28,558
That's all right.
630
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:31,862
I don't think it really goes in here.
631
00:35:31,864 --> 00:35:32,929
Clashes
with the bars.
632
00:35:32,931 --> 00:35:35,599
You can't really say
you're an expressive person.
633
00:35:35,601 --> 00:35:38,869
What do you think
of this color here?
634
00:35:38,871 --> 00:35:41,037
Clashes
with the bars.
635
00:35:41,039 --> 00:35:43,406
See? I told you.
636
00:35:43,408 --> 00:35:46,243
Coming this fall...
637
00:35:48,413 --> 00:35:51,214
¶ row, row,
row your boat ¶
638
00:35:51,216 --> 00:35:53,583
¶ gently down the stream ¶
639
00:35:53,585 --> 00:35:55,085
¶ merrily,
merrily, merrily... ¶
640
00:35:55,087 --> 00:35:57,454
These kids are
driving me crazy!
641
00:35:57,456 --> 00:35:59,956
Wish there was some way
to shut them up!
642
00:35:59,958 --> 00:36:03,260
For those long,
tedious car trips, you need...
643
00:36:03,262 --> 00:36:05,562
The silencer of the lambs.
644
00:36:05,564 --> 00:36:09,199
Driving will never
be the same.
645
00:36:10,936 --> 00:36:15,005
Silencer of the pets
sold separately.
646
00:36:15,641 --> 00:36:19,342
It's...
647
00:36:27,653 --> 00:36:29,586
My bike.
648
00:36:31,723 --> 00:36:34,724
That's my bike.
649
00:36:36,662 --> 00:36:39,996
You saw a bike
like yours on tv.
650
00:36:39,998 --> 00:36:40,664
So what?
651
00:36:40,666 --> 00:36:42,999
Not a bike
like my bike.
652
00:36:43,001 --> 00:36:44,334
My bike! Come on.
653
00:36:44,336 --> 00:36:46,236
Stop it!
Leave me alone.
654
00:36:46,238 --> 00:36:48,004
Look, there's
something else.
655
00:36:48,006 --> 00:36:52,742
I found this on the ground near the dish.
656
00:36:57,616 --> 00:36:58,481
Mom's watch.
657
00:36:58,483 --> 00:37:00,617
It stopped at 10:30.
658
00:37:00,619 --> 00:37:03,453
This is going to sound
totally crazy,
659
00:37:03,455 --> 00:37:06,239
But i don't think
660
00:37:06,240 --> 00:37:09,024
Mom and dad went to the mountains for the weekend.
661
00:37:09,027 --> 00:37:11,861
Come on, diane!
662
00:37:11,863 --> 00:37:15,932
Look, i'm sure it's nothing
to worry about, o.K.?
663
00:37:15,934 --> 00:37:17,867
Now leave us alone!
664
00:37:17,869 --> 00:37:19,669
Diane, whatever you do,
665
00:37:19,671 --> 00:37:22,772
Don't go
in the back yard, o.K.?
666
00:37:22,774 --> 00:37:26,009
Don't go
in the back yard!
667
00:37:27,579 --> 00:37:28,745
If you'll excuse me,
668
00:37:28,747 --> 00:37:30,647
I'm off
to warmer megahertz.
669
00:37:30,649 --> 00:37:32,682
Going to find a channel
with sun,
670
00:37:32,684 --> 00:37:35,418
Funny drinks with
those little umbrellas,
671
00:37:35,420 --> 00:37:37,921
And maybe a dog track.
672
00:37:40,959 --> 00:37:42,926
All clear.
673
00:37:46,632 --> 00:37:48,698
Hey! Aah!
674
00:37:51,136 --> 00:37:55,538
I'm already dead!
Save her!
675
00:38:11,423 --> 00:38:13,256
We got to get
to that conduit!
676
00:38:13,258 --> 00:38:16,126
Roy, it's getting worse!
677
00:38:16,662 --> 00:38:19,929
Wait, wait, wait.
I got an idea.
678
00:38:19,931 --> 00:38:22,465
Push! Come on, now.
679
00:38:38,016 --> 00:38:39,149
There it is.
680
00:38:39,151 --> 00:38:41,484
There it is!
681
00:38:42,688 --> 00:38:44,621
Come on.
682
00:39:10,649 --> 00:39:11,648
Jump.
683
00:39:11,650 --> 00:39:14,251
Jump?
684
00:39:14,252 --> 00:39:16,853
Wherever it leads can't
be any worse than this.
685
00:39:33,038 --> 00:39:34,170
Yeow!
686
00:39:34,172 --> 00:39:35,805
Umph!
687
00:39:38,677 --> 00:39:41,644
Couldn't be any worse,
huh, roy?
688
00:39:41,646 --> 00:39:43,079
Helen?
689
00:39:43,081 --> 00:39:44,514
Oh, my god!
690
00:39:44,516 --> 00:39:46,716
We're cartoons.
691
00:39:47,919 --> 00:39:49,552
Boy, this is strange.
692
00:39:49,554 --> 00:39:52,422
Strange? I'm
an animated rodent
693
00:39:52,424 --> 00:39:54,691
Wearing high-heeled
running shoes.
694
00:39:54,693 --> 00:39:58,061
The word "strange"
is somehow lacking.
695
00:40:08,874 --> 00:40:10,640
At least we're safe here.
696
00:40:10,642 --> 00:40:13,543
No one ever dies
in cartoons, right?
697
00:40:13,545 --> 00:40:15,645
Ralph, i left
some food out.
698
00:40:15,647 --> 00:40:17,981
I hope it doesn't
attract any mice.
699
00:40:17,983 --> 00:40:20,683
Don't worry.
That new device is guaranteed.
700
00:40:20,685 --> 00:40:23,920
No rodent stands
a chance in there.
701
00:40:33,999 --> 00:40:35,765
Stay tuned.
702
00:40:36,435 --> 00:40:38,935
How can you even think
of eating doughnuts
703
00:40:38,937 --> 00:40:40,270
At a time like this?
704
00:40:40,272 --> 00:40:44,040
Should i look for some oat bran?
I'm starved.
705
00:40:44,042 --> 00:40:46,810
If you don't come down,
i'm leaving.
706
00:40:46,812 --> 00:40:49,913
Where you going to go,
your cartoon mother's house?
707
00:40:49,915 --> 00:40:52,782
I am warning you, roy.
708
00:40:53,785 --> 00:40:56,186
Roy?
709
00:40:56,187 --> 00:40:58,588
Wow! These things are
as big as buicks.
710
00:40:58,590 --> 00:41:00,790
I'm gone.
That's it.
711
00:41:00,792 --> 00:41:04,060
I said we're through,
and we are through.
712
00:41:04,062 --> 00:41:06,496
I can do better
on my own.
713
00:41:06,498 --> 00:41:10,467
I am not a mouse.
I'm helen knable.
714
00:41:10,469 --> 00:41:12,168
I have an mba.
715
00:41:12,170 --> 00:41:14,737
I live at 1532
blue jay court.
716
00:41:14,739 --> 00:41:17,407
I have two
beautiful children--
717
00:41:17,409 --> 00:41:21,110
Who i may never
see again.
718
00:41:21,112 --> 00:41:23,480
Mom?
719
00:41:30,655 --> 00:41:32,422
Roy?
720
00:41:41,466 --> 00:41:45,969
Warning--you are trespassing
in a human habitation.
721
00:41:45,971 --> 00:41:48,771
The penalty is death.
722
00:41:59,518 --> 00:42:02,352
My doctor was right.
723
00:42:02,353 --> 00:42:05,187
Doughnuts will be
the death of me.
724
00:42:39,691 --> 00:42:40,957
Aah!
Aah!
725
00:42:40,959 --> 00:42:42,592
Aah!
Aah!
726
00:42:48,433 --> 00:42:50,800
Would you let go
of me?
727
00:42:50,802 --> 00:42:54,270
You have to see this.
728
00:42:55,740 --> 00:42:57,790
There.
729
00:42:57,791 --> 00:42:59,841
This will work.
It worked on macgyver.
730
00:42:59,844 --> 00:43:02,045
What are you
talking about?
731
00:43:02,047 --> 00:43:03,179
Can't you see?
732
00:43:03,181 --> 00:43:06,416
It's mom and dad
in the cartoon.
733
00:43:06,418 --> 00:43:08,685
Very funny, pus-head.
734
00:43:08,687 --> 00:43:13,022
Diane, you've got to
believe me.
735
00:43:29,608 --> 00:43:34,277
Kids, don't try
this at home.
736
00:44:05,210 --> 00:44:07,944
I think we lost them.
737
00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:10,480
What?
738
00:44:10,481 --> 00:44:12,281
For a mouse,
you, um, look pretty sexy.
739
00:44:12,283 --> 00:44:14,984
Too bad you didn't like
the way i looked
740
00:44:14,986 --> 00:44:16,552
When i was human.
741
00:44:16,554 --> 00:44:18,087
I always did.
742
00:44:18,089 --> 00:44:20,123
News to me.
743
00:44:20,125 --> 00:44:21,724
I'm sorry.
744
00:44:28,299 --> 00:44:29,198
Surrender.
745
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:31,200
Come out with...
746
00:44:46,251 --> 00:44:50,053
Look!
Roy, turn! Turn!
747
00:44:52,123 --> 00:44:54,390
Helen, wait!
748
00:45:00,532 --> 00:45:03,866
This is one clever
pussy.
749
00:45:05,036 --> 00:45:06,335
I've watched
enough cartoons.
750
00:45:06,337 --> 00:45:08,571
How would
an animated character
751
00:45:08,573 --> 00:45:10,206
Handle this?
752
00:45:15,914 --> 00:45:20,149
This will put a permanent
crease in his shorts.
753
00:45:25,190 --> 00:45:28,491
Identify yourself.
754
00:45:28,493 --> 00:45:30,960
Catnip-gram.
755
00:46:04,262 --> 00:46:07,764
I'll never get out
of here.
756
00:46:13,071 --> 00:46:17,206
Deeb-a-deeb-a-deeb--
that's all, folks.
757
00:46:19,711 --> 00:46:23,446
I've lost the feeling
in my arm.
758
00:46:23,448 --> 00:46:26,949
All of a sudden,
i can't see anything.
759
00:46:26,951 --> 00:46:28,918
Uhh!
Oh!
760
00:46:29,921 --> 00:46:32,989
Sundays at 8:00...
761
00:46:32,991 --> 00:46:35,725
It's...
762
00:46:37,662 --> 00:46:39,295
Where did he go?
763
00:46:39,297 --> 00:46:41,964
Duane's underworld.
764
00:46:41,966 --> 00:46:44,367
Duane's underworld.
765
00:46:44,369 --> 00:46:47,570
It's partytime! Excellent!
766
00:46:51,042 --> 00:46:54,243
Welcome to duane's underworld,
o father of lies.
767
00:46:54,245 --> 00:46:55,711
I'm your
excrement host duane,
768
00:46:55,713 --> 00:46:59,582
And with me as always is my
slightly decaying cohost garf.
769
00:46:59,584 --> 00:47:00,383
Wifto! Wifto!
770
00:47:00,385 --> 00:47:01,818
Party eternally, garf.
771
00:47:01,820 --> 00:47:02,952
Party eternally,
duane.
772
00:47:02,954 --> 00:47:05,454
All right.
Today we have a special guest,
773
00:47:05,456 --> 00:47:08,291
A man who can't even
sell plumping supplies.
774
00:47:08,293 --> 00:47:11,494
Shhyeah! Like no one
uses a toilet.
775
00:47:11,496 --> 00:47:13,196
Mr. Roy knable.
776
00:47:13,198 --> 00:47:15,665
Salutations,
o mighty failure.
777
00:47:15,667 --> 00:47:18,668
Mr. Knable,
before we get started,
778
00:47:18,670 --> 00:47:22,405
Tell me what you see
on this card.
779
00:47:22,407 --> 00:47:25,608
I... War ship... Satin?
780
00:47:25,610 --> 00:47:27,643
Excrement.
781
00:47:29,681 --> 00:47:32,132
Now, i understand
782
00:47:32,133 --> 00:47:34,584
You're searching for
your lovely wife helen...
783
00:47:34,586 --> 00:47:37,019
Who i truly believe
you will find,
784
00:47:37,021 --> 00:47:40,089
Because good always
conquers over evil...
785
00:47:40,091 --> 00:47:42,525
Not!
Not!
786
00:47:45,997 --> 00:47:48,931
In order to assist you
in your efforts,
787
00:47:48,933 --> 00:47:51,968
We have located
a photograph of your wife
788
00:47:51,970 --> 00:47:53,870
To show our viewers.
789
00:47:53,872 --> 00:47:55,504
Where did that
come from?
790
00:47:55,506 --> 00:47:57,406
She's a vixen,
mr. K.
791
00:47:57,408 --> 00:47:58,641
Beezle-babe! Tent pole!
792
00:47:58,643 --> 00:48:01,344
Lady knable,
we salute you.
793
00:48:01,346 --> 00:48:02,411
Schwing!
Schwing!
794
00:48:02,413 --> 00:48:04,180
And your daughter's
pompoms,
795
00:48:04,182 --> 00:48:06,482
They're delectable,
too, man.
796
00:48:06,484 --> 00:48:07,416
You creeps!
797
00:48:07,418 --> 00:48:12,054
Uh-oh. Extreme close-up
on mr. Knable.
798
00:48:12,056 --> 00:48:13,856
Oh!
Oh!
799
00:48:17,595 --> 00:48:19,228
Excellent.
800
00:48:19,864 --> 00:48:21,964
One more time!
801
00:48:25,803 --> 00:48:27,536
Man,
i'm getting dizzy.
802
00:48:27,538 --> 00:48:28,905
I could hurl.
803
00:48:28,907 --> 00:48:30,573
No. Chew it back, man.
804
00:48:30,575 --> 00:48:35,011
Now the red-hot-poker-
in-the-eye cam.
805
00:48:48,192 --> 00:48:50,159
Bogus.
806
00:48:50,895 --> 00:48:52,328
I'm black and white.
807
00:48:52,330 --> 00:48:55,731
Hello. Testing, testing.
808
00:48:56,668 --> 00:48:59,468
"Roy knable,
private dick."
809
00:48:59,470 --> 00:49:02,271
Well, better than being
a public dick.
810
00:49:02,273 --> 00:49:06,776
O.K., i'm in some old movie.
Must be on cable.
811
00:49:06,778 --> 00:49:09,612
I've been watching
these things my whole life.
812
00:49:09,614 --> 00:49:11,747
I should know
what to do.
813
00:49:11,749 --> 00:49:14,483
Be like bogart,
like in the maltese falcon.
814
00:49:14,485 --> 00:49:17,320
I'm on a case.
I got to find helen.
815
00:49:17,322 --> 00:49:18,921
Got to find the clues.
816
00:49:18,923 --> 00:49:23,192
Got to find out
how to use this thing.
817
00:49:26,296 --> 00:49:28,129
Mr.
Knable, you've dropped your gun again.
818
00:49:28,132 --> 00:49:29,765
I know!
819
00:49:33,471 --> 00:49:36,706
Roy, is that you?
820
00:49:41,980 --> 00:49:44,246
Sir... Great news.
821
00:49:44,248 --> 00:49:46,082
Your new class
of recruits--
822
00:49:46,084 --> 00:49:49,518
We've taken possession
of all of them,
823
00:49:49,520 --> 00:49:50,987
Except two, sir.
824
00:49:50,989 --> 00:49:54,123
Oh! I know that,
you postulating putz!
825
00:49:54,125 --> 00:49:57,126
They've just been lucky,
that's all.
826
00:49:57,128 --> 00:49:58,194
Have they?
827
00:49:58,196 --> 00:50:01,464
You know, the strain
of your job
828
00:50:01,466 --> 00:50:02,665
Must be tremendous.
829
00:50:02,667 --> 00:50:04,233
Ever considered
taking a vacation,
830
00:50:04,235 --> 00:50:08,070
Letting someone else take the
burden off your shoulders?
831
00:50:08,072 --> 00:50:10,740
Someone else?
832
00:50:10,742 --> 00:50:11,741
You?
833
00:50:11,743 --> 00:50:13,843
I'm flattered
you'd even think
834
00:50:13,845 --> 00:50:15,811
I could fill
your shoes.
835
00:50:15,813 --> 00:50:17,680
But i'm ready
to try, sir.
836
00:50:17,682 --> 00:50:21,183
And now...
Get in shape with the exorcisist.
837
00:50:21,185 --> 00:50:24,120
Come on, people,
let's get in shape.
838
00:50:24,122 --> 00:50:26,856
Come on.
Make it burn.
839
00:50:26,858 --> 00:50:29,158
Feel it burn.
840
00:50:30,161 --> 00:50:31,894
Good, doreen.
841
00:50:31,896 --> 00:50:34,630
O.K., everybody,
head spins.
842
00:50:34,632 --> 00:50:35,598
With me.
843
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:37,400
Ready, go.
844
00:50:37,635 --> 00:50:39,769
Very good.
Very nice.
845
00:50:39,771 --> 00:50:42,038
I like it.
846
00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:43,439
O.K., that's good.
847
00:50:43,441 --> 00:50:45,441
Cool down.
Shake it out.
848
00:50:45,443 --> 00:50:47,243
O.K., now vomit.
849
00:50:47,245 --> 00:50:51,113
Kids,
now there's a new beer just for you.
850
00:50:51,115 --> 00:50:52,798
It's got no alcohol,
851
00:50:52,799 --> 00:50:54,482
But it'll make you
act just like dad.
852
00:50:54,485 --> 00:50:57,286
Give me another one, babe.
853
00:50:57,288 --> 00:50:59,689
That's my boy.
854
00:50:59,690 --> 00:51:02,091
Yogi beer. You'll be
just like your dad.
855
00:51:05,897 --> 00:51:06,829
Dad?
856
00:51:12,703 --> 00:51:15,004
Get away
from the dish.
857
00:51:15,006 --> 00:51:17,306
Darryl, what
is with you?
858
00:51:17,308 --> 00:51:19,075
Get lost.
859
00:51:26,617 --> 00:51:28,951
5, 6, 7, 8.
860
00:51:31,889 --> 00:51:34,023
5, 6, 7, 8.
861
00:51:37,295 --> 00:51:39,395
5, 6, 7, 8.
862
00:51:39,397 --> 00:51:40,896
Aah! Aah!
Aah! Aah!
863
00:51:40,898 --> 00:51:42,565
Aah! Aah!
Aah! Aah!
864
00:51:42,567 --> 00:51:45,101
Darryl,
what are you doing?
865
00:51:45,103 --> 00:51:47,837
Darryl!
Oh, my god!
866
00:51:47,839 --> 00:51:52,141
Guys, wait!
It's not my fault my brother's a creep!
867
00:51:54,212 --> 00:51:55,911
Darryl!
868
00:51:55,913 --> 00:51:57,546
Darryl!
869
00:51:57,548 --> 00:51:59,348
Darryl!
870
00:52:03,754 --> 00:52:05,087
You're pizza topping!
871
00:52:05,089 --> 00:52:08,057
Wait. Mom and dad
are here.
872
00:52:08,059 --> 00:52:09,892
They're home?
873
00:52:10,161 --> 00:52:13,028
Well, not exactly.
874
00:52:13,030 --> 00:52:14,563
Look.
875
00:52:18,202 --> 00:52:20,369
See? That's dad.
876
00:52:20,371 --> 00:52:22,738
That is not dad.
877
00:52:26,010 --> 00:52:27,510
Mom?
878
00:52:28,446 --> 00:52:31,030
That looks like mom.
879
00:52:31,031 --> 00:52:33,615
It is mom.
That's what i've been trying to tell you.
880
00:52:33,618 --> 00:52:37,253
Our parents are trapped
in television.
881
00:52:37,688 --> 00:52:39,355
Oh, wow.
882
00:52:39,357 --> 00:52:41,123
"Classy dame vanishes.
883
00:52:41,125 --> 00:52:44,360
Last seen
at club seidenbaum."
884
00:52:45,163 --> 00:52:46,896
Helen.
885
00:52:46,898 --> 00:52:47,963
Seidenbaum.
886
00:52:47,965 --> 00:52:49,131
That name is
famil--
887
00:52:49,133 --> 00:52:50,933
Oh, my god.
Murray seidenbaum.
888
00:52:50,935 --> 00:52:52,701
He lives
right near me.
889
00:52:52,703 --> 00:52:54,837
He borrowed
my lawn mower.
890
00:52:59,076 --> 00:53:01,076
Obviously, we're dealing with something
891
00:53:01,078 --> 00:53:02,745
Of a supernatural
nature here, diane.
892
00:53:02,747 --> 00:53:07,316
I mean, this thing,
it did not come from radio shack.
893
00:53:07,318 --> 00:53:11,587
Yeah, so you're the smart one.
Think of something.
894
00:53:11,589 --> 00:53:14,440
O.K., um...
895
00:53:14,441 --> 00:53:17,292
What goes in a dish
and winds up on tv?
896
00:53:17,295 --> 00:53:19,562
My bike...
897
00:53:19,564 --> 00:53:21,430
Our parents...
898
00:53:23,634 --> 00:53:25,234
Follow me.
899
00:53:32,977 --> 00:53:35,678
Hey, not my stereo.
900
00:53:35,680 --> 00:53:37,079
I need the parts.
901
00:53:37,081 --> 00:53:39,014
Go downstairs
and watch them.
902
00:53:39,016 --> 00:53:41,383
Keep track of them.
903
00:53:49,727 --> 00:53:54,496
Ho ho.
Nice work, boys.
904
00:53:55,499 --> 00:53:58,200
Glad you could
join me, mrs. Knable.
905
00:53:58,202 --> 00:53:59,969
Didn't have
much choice.
906
00:53:59,971 --> 00:54:01,804
Lobster?
907
00:54:01,806 --> 00:54:03,339
Drink.
908
00:54:03,608 --> 00:54:05,641
Where's my husband?
909
00:54:05,643 --> 00:54:06,775
Why worry about him?
910
00:54:06,777 --> 00:54:08,877
I ditched my wife
five channels ago.
911
00:54:08,879 --> 00:54:13,949
She happened to meet the
business end of a 50-ton reptile.
912
00:54:13,951 --> 00:54:15,618
And i can tell you,
913
00:54:15,620 --> 00:54:18,787
I don't exactly miss
dried meat loaf.
914
00:54:18,789 --> 00:54:20,723
This is great here.
Great.
915
00:54:20,725 --> 00:54:23,158
I don't ever want
to get out.
916
00:54:23,160 --> 00:54:25,794
Outside, i was
murray the doormat.
917
00:54:25,796 --> 00:54:29,365
In here...
Boss seidenbaum.
918
00:54:30,468 --> 00:54:32,768
Brought my remote
in with me.
919
00:54:32,770 --> 00:54:35,938
Gets too hot--bam,
i'm on another channel.
920
00:54:35,940 --> 00:54:38,107
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
921
00:54:38,109 --> 00:54:39,675
Aah!
Aah!
922
00:54:39,677 --> 00:54:40,643
Oh!
Oh!
923
00:54:40,645 --> 00:54:43,312
You're not coming
in here!
924
00:54:46,484 --> 00:54:48,217
Euh! Euh!
925
00:54:48,219 --> 00:54:49,351
Ahhh!
926
00:54:49,353 --> 00:54:51,754
Well, look
who showed up.
927
00:54:51,756 --> 00:54:52,755
Where's my--
928
00:54:52,757 --> 00:54:53,489
Hello, roy.
929
00:54:53,491 --> 00:54:54,823
Helen,
you're all right.
930
00:54:54,825 --> 00:54:57,526
You--
you look terrific!
931
00:54:57,528 --> 00:54:58,794
Oh, really?
932
00:54:58,796 --> 00:55:02,631
Hey, seidenbaum!
I'm taking over your business!
933
00:55:02,633 --> 00:55:05,901
Aah! Aah!
Aah! Aah!
934
00:55:27,658 --> 00:55:29,124
Seidenbaum.
935
00:55:29,126 --> 00:55:31,360
Knables.
936
00:55:31,361 --> 00:55:33,595
All i wanted was to be
the big shot for once.
937
00:55:33,597 --> 00:55:35,864
Take my remote.
Get out of here.
938
00:55:35,866 --> 00:55:40,736
You two still got a chance of making it together.
939
00:55:45,009 --> 00:55:46,408
There it is!
940
00:55:46,410 --> 00:55:47,876
No, no, stay down.
941
00:55:47,878 --> 00:55:50,079
This is my job.
942
00:56:14,872 --> 00:56:16,872
Piece of cake.
943
00:56:16,874 --> 00:56:17,639
O.K., ready?
944
00:56:26,350 --> 00:56:28,751
Oh, my god.
I lost them.
945
00:56:28,753 --> 00:56:33,122
The next item we have
for you on the...
946
00:56:35,025 --> 00:56:37,793
Dad, where are you?
947
00:56:37,794 --> 00:56:40,562
And now the all-new miniseries
about the french revolution...
948
00:56:40,564 --> 00:56:43,365
The story of
the marquis de knable,
949
00:56:43,367 --> 00:56:45,117
An enemy of the people,
950
00:56:45,118 --> 00:56:46,868
Who wears a disguise
to escape the guillotine.
951
00:56:46,871 --> 00:56:51,473
It's an epic drama of love,
danger, and cross-dressing.
952
00:56:58,482 --> 00:56:59,982
Roy.
953
00:57:00,985 --> 00:57:03,519
You have boobs.
954
00:57:04,955 --> 00:57:07,322
Oh, they're not mine.
955
00:57:23,707 --> 00:57:26,508
Psst! Hey, knables.
956
00:57:30,648 --> 00:57:31,747
Nice disguise.
957
00:57:31,749 --> 00:57:32,782
Crowley?
958
00:57:32,783 --> 00:57:33,816
Interesting concept,
diagonal boobs.
959
00:57:33,818 --> 00:57:36,318
Could you fix
that thing?
960
00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:38,654
Thought the wolves
got you.
961
00:57:38,656 --> 00:57:40,722
Tell you something
about wolves--
962
00:57:40,724 --> 00:57:42,424
Vicious?
Goes without saying.
963
00:57:42,426 --> 00:57:44,627
But not that bright.
964
00:57:44,628 --> 00:57:46,829
While those dumb bunnies were
fighting over my appendages,
965
00:57:46,831 --> 00:57:48,964
I managed to escape.
966
00:57:48,965 --> 00:57:51,098
Liberte, citizen.
Vive la france!
967
00:57:51,101 --> 00:57:52,601
Power
to the people!
968
00:57:52,603 --> 00:57:56,405
Ha ha ha ha!
Come on.
969
00:58:03,113 --> 00:58:05,247
Personally, i think he's losing it.
970
00:58:05,249 --> 00:58:07,282
What a pathetic
thing to watch.
971
00:58:07,284 --> 00:58:11,019
Only 2 hours left,
and your 24 hours are up.
972
00:58:11,021 --> 00:58:14,356
All you got to do is lie low.
973
00:58:15,692 --> 00:58:17,025
Les cops.
Les cops.
974
00:58:17,027 --> 00:58:18,410
Inside.
Inside.
975
00:58:18,411 --> 00:58:19,794
I'll find a conduit
out of here.
976
00:58:19,797 --> 00:58:25,133
Bonjour.
Nice day for an execution, non?
977
00:58:27,954 --> 00:58:30,371
Stay tuned for the final chapter of off with his head,
978
00:58:30,374 --> 00:58:33,675
When the marquis de knable
finally loses his.
979
00:58:33,677 --> 00:58:35,210
Uh-oh.
980
00:58:38,182 --> 00:58:39,348
Darryl!
981
00:58:39,350 --> 00:58:40,649
We got to jam.
982
00:58:44,088 --> 00:58:45,587
Merci.
983
00:58:45,589 --> 00:58:50,259
Well, we've always
wanted to go to paris.
984
00:58:50,494 --> 00:58:53,095
In the 20th century.
985
00:58:53,096 --> 00:58:55,697
Since we're here,
we might as well make the best of it.
986
00:58:55,699 --> 00:58:57,266
Make the best of it?
987
00:58:57,268 --> 00:58:58,934
This is the french
revolution.
988
00:58:58,936 --> 00:59:00,669
People are trying
to kill you.
989
00:59:00,671 --> 00:59:04,339
If we get out of this,
things will be different.
990
00:59:04,341 --> 00:59:06,608
I won't just be
a watcher.
991
00:59:06,610 --> 00:59:09,378
I'll be the man i was
when we first met.
992
00:59:09,380 --> 00:59:14,416
You weren't blond then,
and you wore a lot less make-up.
993
00:59:19,056 --> 00:59:23,792
Aim it at the center of the dish!
994
00:59:41,145 --> 00:59:44,146
You are both
under arrest!
995
00:59:44,148 --> 00:59:44,846
For what?
996
00:59:44,848 --> 00:59:46,815
For being
too beautiful
997
00:59:46,817 --> 00:59:49,151
And without
proper escort.
998
00:59:49,153 --> 00:59:50,152
Ha ha ha!
999
00:59:50,154 --> 00:59:53,088
Garcon,
more wine!
1000
01:00:06,236 --> 01:00:09,571
O.K. Tv's connected
to the dish.
1001
01:00:09,573 --> 01:00:12,140
Now we go
for contact.
1002
01:00:28,892 --> 01:00:30,525
There's no interference.
1003
01:00:30,527 --> 01:00:33,128
Nothing's getting through.
1004
01:00:33,464 --> 01:00:35,263
We need more power.
1005
01:00:35,265 --> 01:00:38,433
I'm going to cop
some juice.
1006
01:00:38,802 --> 01:00:39,701
Be careful.
1007
01:00:39,703 --> 01:00:42,571
This woman is not
who you think.
1008
01:00:42,573 --> 01:00:43,672
She is wanted.
1009
01:00:43,674 --> 01:00:46,708
Of course she's wanted,
you fool!
1010
01:00:46,710 --> 01:00:47,809
By me!
1011
01:00:47,811 --> 01:00:49,711
My cherie...
1012
01:00:49,713 --> 01:00:52,247
You inflame me.
1013
01:00:52,249 --> 01:00:55,250
I never kiss
on the first date.
1014
01:00:55,252 --> 01:00:55,984
Oh?
1015
01:00:55,986 --> 01:00:58,287
Ooh!
Naughty boy.
1016
01:00:58,288 --> 01:01:00,589
This has been a kick,
fellas, but we've got to go.
1017
01:01:00,591 --> 01:01:03,425
No, no!
Come back here, sweetheart!
1018
01:01:03,427 --> 01:01:05,060
Keep your hands
off her!
1019
01:01:05,062 --> 01:01:09,631
Your hair's so beautiful.
May i have a lock of it?
1020
01:01:09,633 --> 01:01:10,499
I--
1021
01:01:10,501 --> 01:01:12,051
Oh!
Oh!
1022
01:01:12,052 --> 01:01:13,602
Why don't you keep
the whole thing?
1023
01:01:13,604 --> 01:01:15,070
I tried
to tell you!
1024
01:01:15,072 --> 01:01:17,506
It's the marquis
de knable!
1025
01:01:17,508 --> 01:01:19,908
Enemy of the people!
1026
01:01:19,910 --> 01:01:22,411
I knew that!
1027
01:01:23,347 --> 01:01:25,313
Marquis de knable...
1028
01:01:25,315 --> 01:01:27,182
The guillotine awaits!
1029
01:01:27,184 --> 01:01:31,486
I would have
given you chocolates.
1030
01:02:00,451 --> 01:02:02,851
Kill the marquis!
Kill the marquis!
1031
01:02:02,853 --> 01:02:05,787
I'm telling you,
i'm not a marquis!
1032
01:02:05,789 --> 01:02:09,124
I sell plumbing supplies
in seattle...
1033
01:02:09,126 --> 01:02:10,759
Washington!
1034
01:02:22,172 --> 01:02:23,171
Roy!
1035
01:02:23,173 --> 01:02:24,306
Roy! Roy!
1036
01:02:24,308 --> 01:02:26,608
I love you.
1037
01:02:26,610 --> 01:02:29,077
You guys are making
a big mistake.
1038
01:02:29,079 --> 01:02:31,680
I'm not even a member
of this country!
1039
01:02:31,682 --> 01:02:34,916
Darryl, you'd
better hurry up!
1040
01:02:37,087 --> 01:02:38,904
Kill the marquis!
1041
01:02:38,905 --> 01:02:40,722
Hi, fellas,
i loved you in star wars.
1042
01:02:40,724 --> 01:02:43,658
Can we just talk
for a second?
1043
01:02:43,660 --> 01:02:45,227
Oh, my god. Holy--
1044
01:02:45,229 --> 01:02:47,329
Oh! Could we--
1045
01:02:57,007 --> 01:02:59,157
Any last requests?
1046
01:02:59,158 --> 01:03:01,308
Yeah.
How about the long version of stairway to heaven?
1047
01:03:01,311 --> 01:03:06,348
I'm afraid that is not where you are going.
1048
01:03:11,088 --> 01:03:12,120
Darryl!
1049
01:03:23,333 --> 01:03:25,267
Here, catch!
1050
01:03:27,704 --> 01:03:32,007
Wait! An innocent man's
blood is being spilled!
1051
01:03:32,009 --> 01:03:32,908
Good point.
1052
01:03:32,910 --> 01:03:34,142
Better back away.
1053
01:03:34,144 --> 01:03:38,346
This one, he could
be a gusher.
1054
01:03:42,886 --> 01:03:45,070
By order of the court...
1055
01:03:45,071 --> 01:03:47,255
Looks like spike's going to make his quota after all.
1056
01:03:47,257 --> 01:03:49,858
I deliver the marquis
de knable's soul
1057
01:03:49,860 --> 01:03:51,893
To its rightful owner!
1058
01:03:51,895 --> 01:03:54,863
Finally, he's mine.
1059
01:04:10,647 --> 01:04:14,482
How come he dresses
like a woman?
1060
01:04:14,484 --> 01:04:16,818
I do that sometimes.
1061
01:04:26,563 --> 01:04:28,897
Kill the marquis!
1062
01:04:38,876 --> 01:04:41,576
Dad, can you hear me?
1063
01:04:43,380 --> 01:04:45,714
Darryl? My god!
1064
01:04:46,216 --> 01:04:47,983
God?
1065
01:04:51,154 --> 01:04:52,988
Yes!
1066
01:04:52,990 --> 01:04:54,122
It's...
1067
01:04:54,124 --> 01:04:55,624
God!
1068
01:04:57,995 --> 01:05:00,228
Right, god?
1069
01:05:00,230 --> 01:05:03,732
Tell the infidels
to release him.
1070
01:05:03,734 --> 01:05:04,833
What's an infidel?
1071
01:05:04,835 --> 01:05:06,001
I don't know.
1072
01:05:06,003 --> 01:05:07,769
Tell them
to release him!
1073
01:05:07,771 --> 01:05:09,654
Tell them!
1074
01:05:09,655 --> 01:05:11,538
Um... Um... Release
the marquis.
1075
01:05:11,541 --> 01:05:14,376
You heard him.
Get me out of this.
1076
01:05:14,378 --> 01:05:15,477
What's happening?
1077
01:05:16,580 --> 01:05:19,047
Who's messing
with my programming?
1078
01:05:21,318 --> 01:05:24,286
You--the weenie
in black--
1079
01:05:24,288 --> 01:05:26,154
You, dork--
1080
01:05:26,156 --> 01:05:27,589
At the wheel--
1081
01:05:27,591 --> 01:05:29,491
Yeah, you!
1082
01:05:29,493 --> 01:05:31,593
Release him!
1083
01:05:32,496 --> 01:05:35,330
I am the voice of--
1084
01:05:39,836 --> 01:05:42,470
Ohhh...
Oh, roy!
1085
01:05:43,106 --> 01:05:45,507
We beat spike!
We did it!
1086
01:05:45,509 --> 01:05:51,346
I would have given an arm and a leg to see this!
1087
01:05:51,348 --> 01:05:53,315
In fact,
i already did!
1088
01:05:53,317 --> 01:05:55,550
Ha ha ha!
No, it's...
1089
01:05:55,552 --> 01:05:56,518
Not possible.
1090
01:06:06,229 --> 01:06:09,230
Sir. Speaking
for the staff...
1091
01:06:09,232 --> 01:06:14,235
We'll all miss your kind words and inspiring leadership.
1092
01:06:16,707 --> 01:06:18,273
Ducker, contracts--
1093
01:06:18,275 --> 01:06:19,391
What?
1094
01:06:19,392 --> 01:06:20,508
There was a protest
1095
01:06:20,510 --> 01:06:22,761
Filed on the knable case.
1096
01:06:22,762 --> 01:06:25,013
A verbal contract binds only those
parties personally making the agreement.
1097
01:06:25,015 --> 01:06:29,017
Therefore, the contract can only be for one person.
1098
01:06:29,019 --> 01:06:30,752
You took two.
1099
01:06:30,754 --> 01:06:32,287
Yes.
1100
01:06:34,925 --> 01:06:36,424
Yes.
1101
01:06:37,094 --> 01:06:39,928
Yes! Yes! Oh!
1102
01:06:39,930 --> 01:06:41,647
Mmm!
1103
01:06:41,648 --> 01:06:43,365
Oh, you're the ugliest bitch in perdition,
1104
01:06:43,367 --> 01:06:46,067
But you gave me
a beautiful idea.
1105
01:06:46,069 --> 01:06:47,802
Discharge
mr. Knable.
1106
01:06:47,804 --> 01:06:49,037
But, sir...
1107
01:06:49,039 --> 01:06:51,473
The contract
was for him only.
1108
01:06:51,475 --> 01:06:53,875
Masterful stroke, sir.
1109
01:06:53,877 --> 01:06:56,077
I don't get it.
1110
01:06:56,580 --> 01:07:00,081
They should've zapped
you two home by now.
1111
01:07:00,083 --> 01:07:01,983
You heard me...
1112
01:07:01,985 --> 01:07:05,020
Discharge mr. Knable.
1113
01:07:09,960 --> 01:07:11,292
Roy?
1114
01:07:11,294 --> 01:07:12,394
Roy!
1115
01:07:12,396 --> 01:07:14,529
Oh!
Oh!
1116
01:07:28,879 --> 01:07:29,878
Dad!
1117
01:07:29,880 --> 01:07:31,579
Dad!
1118
01:07:33,316 --> 01:07:35,417
Where's your mother?
1119
01:07:35,418 --> 01:07:37,519
My obligation is limited to those i have a contract with.
1120
01:07:37,521 --> 01:07:40,488
I fulfilled my end
by discharging mr. Knable.
1121
01:07:40,490 --> 01:07:42,540
His wife is still--
1122
01:07:42,541 --> 01:07:44,591
Those who trespass into the system are on their own.
1123
01:07:44,594 --> 01:07:46,761
We'll sort out
the bodies later
1124
01:07:46,763 --> 01:07:48,563
After i kill them both.
1125
01:07:48,565 --> 01:07:51,399
How can we be sure
he'll come back?
1126
01:07:51,401 --> 01:07:54,169
Because he loves her.
He's a puss.
1127
01:07:54,171 --> 01:07:55,904
Oh, and i'll be back,
1128
01:07:55,906 --> 01:07:58,006
In case anyone's
feeling ambitious.
1129
01:07:58,008 --> 01:08:01,643
Well, time
to rock 'n' roll.
1130
01:08:04,681 --> 01:08:06,381
Oh!
Oh! Oh!
1131
01:08:06,383 --> 01:08:08,717
Crowley.
1132
01:08:08,718 --> 01:08:11,052
Quite a radical weight-loss plan you've been on.
1133
01:08:11,054 --> 01:08:12,987
Yes. Ha ha ha.
1134
01:08:12,989 --> 01:08:14,989
Ha ha ha.
1135
01:08:15,492 --> 01:08:18,493
But, uh... Feeling
a lot, uh, better.
1136
01:08:18,495 --> 01:08:20,862
Ha ha ha!
1137
01:08:20,864 --> 01:08:22,263
Aah!
1138
01:08:22,265 --> 01:08:24,365
Hello, mrs. Knable.
1139
01:08:24,367 --> 01:08:27,602
Mr. Spike,
at your service.
1140
01:08:27,604 --> 01:08:29,971
Where's my husband?
1141
01:08:29,973 --> 01:08:32,140
I'll take you to him.
1142
01:08:32,142 --> 01:08:33,942
Rahrr.
1143
01:08:34,644 --> 01:08:37,112
Oh!
Oh! Oh!
1144
01:08:41,451 --> 01:08:43,251
Howdy, ma'am.
1145
01:08:43,252 --> 01:08:45,052
Reckon the 3:10 to yuma
will be along any minute.
1146
01:08:45,055 --> 01:08:49,290
Funny thing, though...
It don't exactly stop here.
1147
01:08:49,292 --> 01:08:51,326
You're going to hit me
with a train?
1148
01:08:51,328 --> 01:08:55,463
What can i say?
I'm a sucker for a big ending.
1149
01:08:55,465 --> 01:08:57,198
You sadistic bastard.
1150
01:08:57,200 --> 01:08:58,266
Runs in the family.
1151
01:08:58,268 --> 01:09:00,768
My father was an oil company president.
1152
01:09:00,770 --> 01:09:04,606
Well... Have a good day, mrs. Knable.
1153
01:09:08,612 --> 01:09:09,644
This just in...
1154
01:09:09,646 --> 01:09:11,779
Helen knable
has been kidnapped
1155
01:09:11,781 --> 01:09:15,817
And taken to channel 1.
We take you there live.
1156
01:09:15,819 --> 01:09:19,120
Roy, wherever you are,
get your butt back here!
1157
01:09:19,122 --> 01:09:22,657
Unfortunately, her gutless failure of a husband
1158
01:09:22,659 --> 01:09:25,527
Won't lift a finger
to save her.
1159
01:09:25,529 --> 01:09:26,661
Right, roy?
1160
01:09:26,663 --> 01:09:28,163
No.
1161
01:09:34,437 --> 01:09:40,008
Dynamite.
He's going to hit me with a train and blow me up?
1162
01:09:40,010 --> 01:09:41,676
Roy!
1163
01:09:41,678 --> 01:09:43,878
I want you both
to stay inside.
1164
01:09:43,880 --> 01:09:45,880
Make sure those doughnuts are ready.
1165
01:09:45,882 --> 01:09:49,017
I'll be very hungry when i get back.
1166
01:09:49,019 --> 01:09:50,552
O.K.?
1167
01:09:50,887 --> 01:09:53,254
Careful, dad.
1168
01:10:26,690 --> 01:10:28,423
Help!
1169
01:10:30,694 --> 01:10:32,427
Helen?
1170
01:10:32,429 --> 01:10:34,095
Roy!
1171
01:10:42,872 --> 01:10:45,540
Back to play
the hero, huh?
1172
01:10:45,542 --> 01:10:47,942
Ha ha ha ha ha!
1173
01:10:47,944 --> 01:10:51,512
Not exactly
typecasting.
1174
01:10:51,815 --> 01:10:53,781
Be about 6... 6'1".
1175
01:10:53,783 --> 01:10:55,316
Yeah.
1176
01:10:59,055 --> 01:11:02,423
Make your move,
tinhorn.
1177
01:11:08,632 --> 01:11:11,299
Today, roy!
1178
01:11:14,271 --> 01:11:15,970
No!
1179
01:11:15,972 --> 01:11:18,072
Dad!
Dad!
1180
01:11:37,961 --> 01:11:40,762
You missed me,
partner.
1181
01:11:57,147 --> 01:11:59,347
Captain, the ship has found itself
1182
01:11:59,349 --> 01:12:00,782
In an orbit
around hell.
1183
01:12:00,784 --> 01:12:02,850
The underworld
is hailing us.
1184
01:12:02,852 --> 01:12:04,852
I know you.
1185
01:12:04,854 --> 01:12:06,321
Greetings,
captain roy.
1186
01:12:06,323 --> 01:12:08,556
Our remotes
are synchronized,
1187
01:12:08,558 --> 01:12:11,025
So wherever
you go, i go.
1188
01:12:11,027 --> 01:12:12,627
Enjoy the attack.
1189
01:12:14,564 --> 01:12:15,630
Lieutenant?
1190
01:12:15,632 --> 01:12:16,631
Captain?
1191
01:12:16,633 --> 01:12:20,668
G-g... Get us
out of here!
1192
01:12:20,670 --> 01:12:22,503
No!
1193
01:12:26,042 --> 01:12:28,209
Phasers on, uh...
1194
01:12:29,813 --> 01:12:31,412
Torture.
1195
01:12:36,519 --> 01:12:38,986
Holy shatner!
1196
01:12:39,622 --> 01:12:41,656
And just to show you
how effective
1197
01:12:41,658 --> 01:12:43,458
Our passenger
restraint system really is,
1198
01:12:43,460 --> 01:12:46,094
Watch this demonstration
at 110 miles an hour,
1199
01:12:46,096 --> 01:12:48,830
Where our driver dummy
has the benefit
1200
01:12:48,832 --> 01:12:50,631
Of seat belt
and air bag,
1201
01:12:50,633 --> 01:12:53,101
The other dummy
having neither one.
1202
01:12:53,103 --> 01:12:55,203
Neither one?
1203
01:12:56,005 --> 01:12:58,506
I can't watch.
Switch to mom.
1204
01:12:58,508 --> 01:12:59,974
Switch to mom!
1205
01:13:08,852 --> 01:13:11,018
Dad'll save her.
1206
01:13:15,925 --> 01:13:18,359
Aah!
1207
01:13:28,638 --> 01:13:30,471
Ooh. Rrr!
1208
01:13:33,943 --> 01:13:36,277
No! No, wait!
1209
01:13:37,547 --> 01:13:42,650
Aaaaaahhhhh!
1210
01:13:48,992 --> 01:13:52,660
Hey, lady, watch out!
1211
01:14:04,841 --> 01:14:06,340
Ooh.
1212
01:14:10,847 --> 01:14:11,879
Whoop.
1213
01:14:11,881 --> 01:14:14,415
Aah!
1214
01:14:23,560 --> 01:14:25,493
Yaaahhhh!
1215
01:14:26,296 --> 01:14:27,228
Whoa!
1216
01:14:27,230 --> 01:14:28,863
Unh! Ahh!
1217
01:14:28,865 --> 01:14:30,598
¶ Come and knock
on our door ¶
1218
01:14:30,600 --> 01:14:32,934
¶ come and knock
on our door ¶
1219
01:14:32,936 --> 01:14:33,801
Where have you been?
1220
01:14:33,803 --> 01:14:35,903
¶ We've been waitin'
for you... ¶
1221
01:14:35,905 --> 01:14:39,707
Aaaaaahhhh!
1222
01:14:50,420 --> 01:14:51,319
My, my.
1223
01:14:51,321 --> 01:14:55,556
Now you'll never
get back to kansas.
1224
01:14:57,694 --> 01:14:59,360
En garde.
1225
01:15:01,965 --> 01:15:03,231
Oh, no sword.
1226
01:15:03,233 --> 01:15:06,901
Have to talk
to that prop man.
1227
01:15:17,213 --> 01:15:19,113
Right about now,
your wife is probably
1228
01:15:19,115 --> 01:15:22,617
Catching that train...
Right between the eyes.
1229
01:15:22,619 --> 01:15:25,453
And you let it happen.
1230
01:15:29,459 --> 01:15:31,592
Here it comes, dad!
1231
01:15:34,531 --> 01:15:36,497
I've taken
loads of souls...
1232
01:15:36,499 --> 01:15:38,199
And none more pathetic
1233
01:15:38,201 --> 01:15:41,302
Than yours, roy.
1234
01:15:44,541 --> 01:15:47,608
Say good night, gracie.
1235
01:15:48,745 --> 01:15:50,795
Not yet.
1236
01:15:50,796 --> 01:15:52,846
You see,
i was captain of my junior college fencing team.
1237
01:15:52,849 --> 01:15:55,349
All right. Co-captain.
1238
01:16:03,626 --> 01:16:06,460
I gave you escape
from your pitiful life.
1239
01:16:06,462 --> 01:16:08,729
I want it back.
1240
01:16:09,299 --> 01:16:10,932
All sales are final.
1241
01:16:10,934 --> 01:16:12,767
Not this one.
1242
01:16:21,344 --> 01:16:23,010
¶ You got to start me ¶
1243
01:16:23,012 --> 01:16:24,712
¶ up ¶
1244
01:16:25,848 --> 01:16:28,683
¶ start me up ¶
1245
01:16:30,920 --> 01:16:33,154
¶ you got to start me up ¶
1246
01:16:33,156 --> 01:16:33,988
¶ come down ¶
1247
01:16:33,990 --> 01:16:36,090
¶ the "s" to the a-l-t ¶
1248
01:16:36,092 --> 01:16:36,824
¶ come down ¶
1249
01:16:36,826 --> 01:16:38,092
¶ the love
to the b-u-g ¶
1250
01:16:38,094 --> 01:16:39,127
¶ come down ¶
1251
01:16:39,128 --> 01:16:40,161
¶ the spin
to the d-a-rella ¶
1252
01:16:40,163 --> 01:16:41,512
¶ come down ¶
1253
01:16:41,513 --> 01:16:42,862
¶ s-t-double e-v-e
in the "p" ¶
1254
01:16:42,865 --> 01:16:43,798
¶ come down ¶
1255
01:16:43,800 --> 01:16:44,899
The "p" to the e-p-a ¶
1256
01:16:44,901 --> 01:16:46,501
¶ come down ¶
1257
01:16:46,502 --> 01:16:48,102
¶ the idolmaker's
in the house, how ya know? ¶
1258
01:16:48,104 --> 01:16:49,003
¶ Come down ¶
1259
01:16:49,005 --> 01:16:50,204
¶ to the record lord ¶
1260
01:16:50,206 --> 01:16:51,522
¶ come down ¶
1261
01:16:51,523 --> 01:16:52,839
¶ wait a minute,
wait a minute, y'all ¶
1262
01:16:52,842 --> 01:16:54,942
¶ let's get serious
for a minute ¶
1263
01:16:54,944 --> 01:16:55,910
¶ y'all havin' fun? ¶
1264
01:16:55,911 --> 01:16:56,877
¶ I'm havin' fun,
everybody havin' fun ¶
1265
01:16:56,879 --> 01:16:59,146
¶ but you know
those times ¶
1266
01:16:59,148 --> 01:17:00,481
¶ when you
get stressed out ¶
1267
01:17:00,483 --> 01:17:02,383
¶ and you wanna
give up? ¶
1268
01:17:02,385 --> 01:17:04,919
¶ Everybody has a time
in their life ¶
1269
01:17:04,921 --> 01:17:07,221
¶ when things doesn't
always go right ¶
1270
01:17:07,223 --> 01:17:10,191
¶ it just gets harder
every day ¶
1271
01:17:10,193 --> 01:17:11,826
¶ and it makes you
wanna run away ¶
1272
01:17:11,828 --> 01:17:15,296
¶ then i wonder
when it will end ¶
1273
01:17:15,298 --> 01:17:17,331
¶ can i ever
be myself again? ¶
1274
01:17:17,333 --> 01:17:19,433
¶ Yo, i got hopes,
and i got trust ¶
1275
01:17:19,435 --> 01:17:21,869
¶ and i got you here
to start me up ¶
1276
01:17:21,871 --> 01:17:23,037
¶ i'm fed up, fed up ¶
1277
01:17:23,039 --> 01:17:24,271
¶ word up, dead up ¶
1278
01:17:24,273 --> 01:17:25,539
¶ gotta keep my head up ¶
1279
01:17:25,541 --> 01:17:26,807
¶ don't stop or let up ¶
1280
01:17:26,809 --> 01:17:27,808
¶ you're sleepin',
laid up ¶
1281
01:17:27,810 --> 01:17:29,844
¶ time to get
your bed made up ¶
1282
01:17:29,846 --> 01:17:30,678
¶ always gonna lose it ¶
1283
01:17:30,680 --> 01:17:31,846
¶ till your dues
get paid up ¶
1284
01:17:31,848 --> 01:17:32,680
¶ straight up, wait up ¶
1285
01:17:32,682 --> 01:17:33,914
¶ i'm not gamin'
or bluffin' ¶
1286
01:17:33,916 --> 01:17:36,751
¶ watch television
all day doin' nothing ¶
1287
01:17:36,753 --> 01:17:38,169
¶ poisoning your liver ¶
1288
01:17:38,170 --> 01:17:39,586
¶ looks like
you're ready to deliver ¶
1289
01:17:39,589 --> 01:17:41,422
¶ yo, salt, i think
he gets the scissors ¶
1290
01:17:41,424 --> 01:17:43,924
¶ start me up ¶
1291
01:17:43,926 --> 01:17:46,260
¶ you got to start me up ¶
1292
01:17:46,262 --> 01:17:48,262
¶ start me up ¶
1293
01:17:48,564 --> 01:17:51,332
¶ you got to start me up ¶
1294
01:17:51,334 --> 01:17:53,267
¶ start me up ¶
1295
01:17:53,269 --> 01:17:55,870
¶ you got to start me up ¶
1296
01:17:55,872 --> 01:17:58,806
¶ start me up-- ¶
1297
01:18:05,381 --> 01:18:07,915
¶ start me up ¶
1298
01:18:07,917 --> 01:18:10,251
¶ you got to start me up ¶
1299
01:18:10,253 --> 01:18:12,219
¶ start me up ¶
1300
01:18:12,221 --> 01:18:14,221
¶ you got to start me up ¶
1301
01:18:14,223 --> 01:18:16,390
¶ on the dial,
the people gonna fall off ¶
1302
01:18:16,392 --> 01:18:19,326
¶ the eeby deeby jam
coming at me, big mama ¶
1303
01:18:19,328 --> 01:18:20,327
¶ stoppin' at the period ¶
1304
01:18:20,329 --> 01:18:21,996
¶ and pause
upon the comma ¶
1305
01:18:21,998 --> 01:18:24,331
¶ the bis boom bit did
a drama for your fodda ¶
1306
01:18:24,333 --> 01:18:25,399
¶ tell me, rough ¶
1307
01:18:25,401 --> 01:18:27,835
¶ coach man workin'
i'm stuck ¶
1308
01:18:27,837 --> 01:18:30,204
¶ de-man-a man-a
lek-o lek-o ¶
1309
01:18:30,206 --> 01:18:32,606
¶ fix the collar
on a world, rah ¶
1310
01:18:32,608 --> 01:18:34,775
¶ the microchips
never fail me ¶
1311
01:18:34,777 --> 01:18:36,811
¶ start me up ¶
1312
01:18:36,813 --> 01:18:39,180
¶ you got to start me up ¶
1313
01:18:39,182 --> 01:18:41,215
¶ start me up ¶
1314
01:18:41,217 --> 01:18:43,350
¶ you got to start me ¶
1315
01:18:43,352 --> 01:18:44,085
¶ up ¶
1316
01:18:44,087 --> 01:18:45,386
¶ well, uh, well, uh ¶
1317
01:18:45,388 --> 01:18:46,487
¶ we-heh-heh-hell uh ¶
1318
01:18:46,489 --> 01:18:48,055
¶ you're caught
in the rain ¶
1319
01:18:48,057 --> 01:18:49,290
¶ but you forgot
your umbrella ¶
1320
01:18:49,292 --> 01:18:50,647
¶ what could you do ¶
1321
01:18:50,648 --> 01:18:52,003
¶ punch-a-nella,
punch-a-nella? ¶
1322
01:18:52,004 --> 01:18:53,359
¶ You're trapped in a cage like an ape called magilla ¶
1323
01:18:53,362 --> 01:18:55,863
¶ and now you're ready
to throw in the towel ¶
1324
01:18:55,865 --> 01:18:56,831
¶ that's kinda foul ¶
1325
01:18:56,833 --> 01:18:57,932
¶ you don't give a hoot ¶
1326
01:18:57,934 --> 01:18:58,899
¶ like a mute owl ¶
1327
01:18:58,901 --> 01:19:00,067
¶ that's not the way
i know you to be ¶
1328
01:19:00,069 --> 01:19:01,569
¶ you used to be
true to me ¶
1329
01:19:01,571 --> 01:19:03,871
¶ oo-ee, what you
used to do to me ¶
1330
01:19:03,873 --> 01:19:05,506
¶ start me up ¶
1331
01:19:05,508 --> 01:19:08,442
¶ you got to start me up ¶
1332
01:19:08,444 --> 01:19:11,412
¶ start me up... ¶
1333
01:19:11,414 --> 01:19:12,546
Wait.
1334
01:19:12,548 --> 01:19:14,515
O.K. You got
the remote. You win.
1335
01:19:14,517 --> 01:19:16,484
But how about--
just pitching here--
1336
01:19:16,486 --> 01:19:18,219
You and me
working together?
1337
01:19:18,221 --> 01:19:20,688
We could come up with
dynamite programming.
1338
01:19:20,690 --> 01:19:21,822
Chairman'd love it.
1339
01:19:21,824 --> 01:19:23,524
Knock him
off his hooves.
1340
01:19:23,526 --> 01:19:24,458
We'd be number one.
1341
01:19:24,460 --> 01:19:26,727
Of course, we are
the only one, but--
1342
01:19:26,729 --> 01:19:29,029
You don't get it,
do you?
1343
01:19:29,031 --> 01:19:31,832
Without me, you
don't get out of here.
1344
01:19:31,834 --> 01:19:35,536
Sorry, spike.
You're cancelled.
1345
01:19:39,041 --> 01:19:41,942
¶ You got to start me up ¶
1346
01:19:41,944 --> 01:19:44,211
¶ start me up ¶
1347
01:19:44,213 --> 01:19:45,780
¶ you got to start me ¶
1348
01:19:45,782 --> 01:19:47,481
¶ up ¶
1349
01:19:50,153 --> 01:19:51,685
Roy!
1350
01:19:52,488 --> 01:19:54,789
Deactivate
escape frequencies.
1351
01:19:54,791 --> 01:19:56,257
What are you doing?
1352
01:19:56,259 --> 01:19:58,659
I've trapped them.
1353
01:20:10,273 --> 01:20:11,105
It's not working!
1354
01:20:11,107 --> 01:20:14,642
Turn it off.
Turn it off.
1355
01:20:16,312 --> 01:20:19,547
Turn it off.
Turn it off.
1356
01:20:19,549 --> 01:20:22,650
What do you do when you want the tv to go away?
1357
01:20:22,652 --> 01:20:23,784
You turn it
1358
01:20:23,786 --> 01:20:25,319
Off!
1359
01:20:40,236 --> 01:20:42,036
We've lost them.
1360
01:20:42,038 --> 01:20:43,103
Helen...
1361
01:20:43,105 --> 01:20:44,972
We're home!
1362
01:20:44,974 --> 01:20:46,507
Kids!
1363
01:20:47,543 --> 01:20:48,809
Oh! Dad!
1364
01:20:48,811 --> 01:20:51,378
Oh! Oh!
1365
01:20:56,452 --> 01:20:59,820
Whoever left the gate open is grounded for a week.
1366
01:21:07,263 --> 01:21:08,562
Check that.
1367
01:21:08,564 --> 01:21:13,267
Whoever left the gate open gets double their allowance.
1368
01:21:15,371 --> 01:21:17,605
Look at that.
1369
01:21:38,527 --> 01:21:40,261
Wetzel!
1370
01:21:40,263 --> 01:21:42,963
Don't get me angry,
you worm!
1371
01:21:42,965 --> 01:21:44,798
Get me out of here!
1372
01:21:44,800 --> 01:21:46,400
Put a lid on it, fido.
1373
01:21:46,402 --> 01:21:48,469
O.K., pierce,
what do you want?
1374
01:21:48,471 --> 01:21:50,204
Corner office?
Name on the door?
1375
01:21:50,206 --> 01:21:52,306
Hello, spike.
Heh heh.
1376
01:21:52,308 --> 01:21:53,908
Crowley.
1377
01:21:56,112 --> 01:21:58,779
You know,
you're a gentleman and a scholar...
1378
01:21:58,781 --> 01:21:59,747
A fine
corporate asset...
1379
01:21:59,749 --> 01:22:02,616
A man who i, personally,
like very much.
1380
01:22:02,618 --> 01:22:07,154
Oh, incidentally, spike,
nice of you to drop in.
1381
01:22:07,156 --> 01:22:09,423
Ha ha ha ha...
1382
01:22:09,425 --> 01:22:12,626
Ah... That's funny.
1383
01:22:13,329 --> 01:22:14,795
Ah!
1384
01:22:14,797 --> 01:22:16,196
Aah!
1385
01:22:19,835 --> 01:22:22,703
I get his parking space.
1386
01:22:23,139 --> 01:22:25,606
So what can i tell you?
1387
01:22:25,608 --> 01:22:26,874
My parents
got back together.
1388
01:22:26,876 --> 01:22:30,444
The only tv my dad
watches is 60 minutes,
1389
01:22:30,446 --> 01:22:31,912
And he started
a new job.
1390
01:22:31,914 --> 01:22:35,582
I guess you could call us
a pretty normal family.
1391
01:22:35,584 --> 01:22:39,653
That's if anything
is ever normal.
1392
01:22:39,655 --> 01:22:42,022
Who on earth
taught you that?
1393
01:22:42,024 --> 01:22:44,091
Uh, i saw it
on tv somewhere.
1394
01:22:44,093 --> 01:22:45,826
Some old movie.
1395
01:22:45,827 --> 01:22:47,560
Take my advice, kiddo.
Don't watch too much tv.
1396
01:22:47,563 --> 01:22:49,797
It can get you
into trouble.
1397
01:22:49,799 --> 01:22:52,099
O.K., fencers.
Class dismissed.
1398
01:23:12,688 --> 01:23:15,923
¶ Me and that dude
is talkin' ¶
1399
01:23:17,560 --> 01:23:19,426
¶ baby, i just love
your body ¶
1400
01:23:19,428 --> 01:23:22,129
¶ can't believe the feeling
when you walk your walk ¶
1401
01:23:22,131 --> 01:23:24,264
¶ baby, we don't need
no party ¶
1402
01:23:24,266 --> 01:23:26,400
¶ you can taste it
if you don't like to talk ¶
1403
01:23:26,402 --> 01:23:28,702
¶ i used to have a woman
who was so shy ¶
1404
01:23:28,704 --> 01:23:30,971
¶ never spoke about
what she desired ¶
1405
01:23:30,973 --> 01:23:33,140
¶ now the door is open,
it's open wide ¶
1406
01:23:33,142 --> 01:23:35,743
¶ take a little peek
and find what's inside ¶
1407
01:23:35,745 --> 01:23:37,678
¶ baby, i just
love your body ¶
1408
01:23:37,680 --> 01:23:40,147
¶ can't believe the feeling
when you walk your walk ¶
1409
01:23:40,149 --> 01:23:42,516
¶ hey there, we don't
need no party ¶
1410
01:23:42,518 --> 01:23:46,220
¶ you can taste it,
if you want ¶
1411
01:24:02,872 --> 01:24:05,072
¶ baby, i just
love your body ¶
1412
01:24:05,074 --> 01:24:07,708
¶ can't believe the feeling
when you walk your walk ¶
1413
01:24:07,710 --> 01:24:09,676
¶ baby, we don't
need no party ¶
1414
01:24:09,678 --> 01:24:11,979
¶ you can taste it
if you don't like to talk ¶
1415
01:24:11,981 --> 01:24:14,348
¶ used to have a woman
who was so shy ¶
1416
01:24:14,350 --> 01:24:16,617
¶ never spoke about
what she desired ¶
1417
01:24:16,619 --> 01:24:18,852
¶ now the door is open,
it's open wide ¶
1418
01:24:18,854 --> 01:24:21,255
¶ take a little peek
and find what's inside ¶
1419
01:24:21,257 --> 01:24:23,290
¶ baby, i just
love your body ¶
1420
01:24:23,292 --> 01:24:25,959
¶ can't believe the feeling
when you walk your walk ¶
1421
01:24:25,961 --> 01:24:28,162
¶ baby, we don't
need no party ¶
1422
01:24:28,164 --> 01:24:31,432
¶ you can taste that,
if you want ¶
1423
01:24:43,913 --> 01:24:46,547
Captioning made possible by
warner bros. Inc.
1424
01:24:46,549 --> 01:24:49,783
Captioning performed by the
national captioning institute, inc.
1425
01:24:49,785 --> 01:24:52,086
Captions copyright 1992
morgan creek productions, inc.
1426
01:24:52,088 --> 01:24:57,257
Public performance of captions prohibited without
permission of national captioning institute
1427
01:24:59,295 --> 01:25:01,528
¶ do you want it? ¶
1428
01:25:10,539 --> 01:25:13,040
¶ Do you want it? ¶
1429
01:25:25,087 --> 01:25:27,221
¶ Do you want it? ¶
1430
01:25:33,729 --> 01:25:36,130
¶ Do you want it? ¶
1431
01:26:15,237 --> 01:26:17,671
¶ Do you want it? ¶
1432
01:26:18,507 --> 01:26:22,075
¶ Do you--do
you want it? ¶
1433
01:26:24,313 --> 01:26:26,747
¶ Do you want it? ¶
1434
01:26:28,350 --> 01:26:30,150
¶ Moon's out tonight ¶
1435
01:26:30,152 --> 01:26:34,221
¶ the doctor's
takin' a walk ¶
1436
01:26:34,723 --> 01:26:37,591
¶ awoo ¶
1437
01:26:38,894 --> 01:26:41,161
¶ the mic stalker ¶
1438
01:26:47,469 --> 01:26:49,303
¶ some dame did me wrong,
and i admit it ¶
1439
01:26:49,305 --> 01:26:50,904
¶ my temper was a fuse,
and you just lit it ¶
1440
01:26:50,906 --> 01:26:53,106
¶ and made me right
that on a saturday night ¶
1441
01:26:53,108 --> 01:26:54,708
¶ that i bit it,
the price is death ¶
1442
01:26:54,710 --> 01:26:55,976
¶ this is a row,
the fight for right ¶
1443
01:26:55,978 --> 01:26:57,945
¶ don't get hyped
this is my knife strike ¶
1444
01:26:57,947 --> 01:26:59,146
¶ no nob, no gun ¶
1445
01:26:59,147 --> 01:27:00,346
¶ took my vocals
through the mic ¶
1446
01:27:00,347 --> 01:27:01,546
¶ it's cold so i pack it
in my jacket at night ¶
1447
01:27:01,550 --> 01:27:03,717
¶ hey, i live by my mic
and die by my mic ¶
1448
01:27:03,719 --> 01:27:05,402
¶ no, i live to exist ¶
1449
01:27:05,403 --> 01:27:07,086
¶ and i never bid
on the great ride to hitch ¶
1450
01:27:07,089 --> 01:27:08,288
¶ and while you're dying ¶
1451
01:27:08,290 --> 01:27:09,856
¶ your son is cryin',
beggin' and yellin' ¶
1452
01:27:09,858 --> 01:27:10,924
¶ will i give you
pity? Hah! ¶
1453
01:27:10,926 --> 01:27:12,226
¶ Never would i with all
the trouble i'm in ¶
1454
01:27:12,228 --> 01:27:14,328
¶ until the devil eat heart out
cause i'm hotter than him ¶
1455
01:27:14,330 --> 01:27:16,597
¶ the other day kid was rockin'
on the corner alone ¶
1456
01:27:16,599 --> 01:27:18,198
¶ and i was stroking
my microphone ¶
1457
01:27:18,200 --> 01:27:20,234
¶ i heard him reciting somebody's record that was sold ¶
1458
01:27:20,236 --> 01:27:22,436
¶ though he was five years old
i had to adjust some more ¶
1459
01:27:22,438 --> 01:27:24,504
¶ teach him a lesson
no matter what the age ¶
1460
01:27:24,506 --> 01:27:26,607
¶ i'm on a rampage
on and off the stage ¶
1461
01:27:26,609 --> 01:27:27,808
¶ you wanna copy
of my record? ¶
1462
01:27:27,810 --> 01:27:29,243
¶ This is what you do ¶
1463
01:27:29,244 --> 01:27:30,677
¶ go to the precinct,
and they'll give you a few ¶
1464
01:27:30,679 --> 01:27:33,914
¶ the mic stalker,
stalker, stalker ¶
1465
01:27:38,520 --> 01:27:40,787
¶ i got a natural gift,
i don't sniff ¶
1466
01:27:40,789 --> 01:27:42,589
¶ for a little lift, boy,
my mother woulda whipped ¶
1467
01:27:42,591 --> 01:27:45,425
¶ i got accused when my mother gave me,
never gave me dope ¶
1468
01:27:45,427 --> 01:27:47,160
¶ to coke, she say,
just say no ¶
1469
01:27:47,162 --> 01:27:49,062
¶ it's criminal
or premature ¶
1470
01:27:49,064 --> 01:27:50,964
¶ it's premeditated
literature ¶
1471
01:27:50,966 --> 01:27:54,801
¶ the mic stalker,
stalker, stalker ¶