1 00:00:50,844 --> 00:00:52,724 It is time. 2 00:00:54,514 --> 00:01:00,524 They've reached the second crucial turning point in their destiny. 3 00:01:00,729 --> 00:01:05,189 Their message is about to reach millions. 4 00:01:05,483 --> 00:01:09,153 But... we will change all that. 5 00:01:10,864 --> 00:01:13,954 When our mission is successful... 6 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:18,290 ...no longer will the world be dominated... 7 00:01:18,496 --> 00:01:23,746 ...by the legacy of these two fools! 8 00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:27,130 No longer will we hear this: 9 00:01:27,881 --> 00:01:29,841 We will stop them now! 10 00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:33,009 Brothers and sisters... 11 00:01:34,262 --> 00:01:36,432 ...are we ready? 12 00:03:07,647 --> 00:03:11,437 Greetings, my excellent pupils. - Station. 13 00:03:11,693 --> 00:03:15,863 Today we continue our study of the physics of acoustical reverberation. 14 00:03:16,156 --> 00:03:19,616 I'd like you to meet today's most non-bogus guest speakers. 15 00:03:19,784 --> 00:03:21,834 Say hello to an old friend, Thomas Edison. 16 00:03:22,745 --> 00:03:23,705 Hello there. 17 00:03:23,955 --> 00:03:26,075 And to help us on the musical side of things: 18 00:03:26,416 --> 00:03:28,206 Johann Sebastian Bach. 19 00:03:31,462 --> 00:03:34,472 And Sir James Martin of Faith No More... 20 00:03:35,175 --> 00:03:39,715 ...founder of the Faith No More Spiritual and Theological Center. 21 00:03:41,014 --> 00:03:45,314 Station! - Station! 22 00:03:45,602 --> 00:03:48,482 And a special treat from the 23rd century: 23 00:03:48,771 --> 00:03:50,441 Miss Ria Paschelle. 24 00:03:55,278 --> 00:03:57,738 Miss Paschelle, as you all know, is the inventor of the... 25 00:03:57,989 --> 00:04:01,529 ...statiophonicoxygeneticamp- lifiagraphiphonideliverberator. 26 00:04:01,784 --> 00:04:04,664 Kind of hard to imagine the world before we had them, isn't it? 27 00:04:05,580 --> 00:04:10,170 OK, remember, this Friday, Ben Franklin and Aretha Franklin will be here. 28 00:04:10,376 --> 00:04:15,336 Saturday is the field trip to Babylonia. And very important: 29 00:04:15,632 --> 00:04:19,762 Do not do your homework without wearing headphones... 30 00:04:19,969 --> 00:04:22,929 Repeat... 31 00:05:18,194 --> 00:05:21,114 De Nomolos. My old teacher. 32 00:05:21,656 --> 00:05:26,196 Rufus. My favorite pupil. 33 00:05:27,036 --> 00:05:28,996 I thought you were... - Dead? 34 00:05:29,664 --> 00:05:31,084 No. 35 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,920 Just in preparation. 36 00:05:36,212 --> 00:05:40,842 I worked within the system until I could stand it no longer. 37 00:05:41,092 --> 00:05:42,892 And soon... 38 00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:49,097 ...soon, the system will never have existed. 39 00:05:50,143 --> 00:05:52,983 You won't get away with it. - Time will tell. 40 00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:54,727 Time has told. 41 00:05:55,023 --> 00:06:00,783 I'll go back and change that, with the aid of my secret weapons! 42 00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:07,616 How's it going, dudes? 43 00:06:26,804 --> 00:06:31,064 Friends, friends, friends. These are automatons. 44 00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:35,482 Replicas only. Furnished with my agenda. 45 00:06:36,272 --> 00:06:38,442 Now, what is your mission? 46 00:06:38,733 --> 00:06:43,783 First, we totally kill Bill and Ted. - Yeah, then we take over their lives. 47 00:06:44,030 --> 00:06:46,280 Then we utterly destroy them. 48 00:06:46,491 --> 00:06:49,331 Then, at the Battle of the Bands, we give the speech they were gonna give 49 00:06:49,535 --> 00:06:51,365 except totally different. 50 00:06:51,746 --> 00:06:55,576 And thus a new future is born. A great future. 51 00:06:56,084 --> 00:06:58,214 Don't tell us, duder. You programmed us. 52 00:06:58,461 --> 00:07:01,131 He's totally a robot! - So are you, dude! 53 00:07:01,422 --> 00:07:03,262 We're total metal heads! 54 00:07:04,550 --> 00:07:05,970 Do shut up. 55 00:07:09,722 --> 00:07:11,102 Now. 56 00:07:12,058 --> 00:07:14,348 What is the fuel? - Fear! 57 00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:17,232 What is the engine? - Discipline! 58 00:07:17,522 --> 00:07:19,732 What is the ideal? - Order! 59 00:07:19,982 --> 00:07:22,112 And how do we achieve it? 60 00:07:31,369 --> 00:07:32,949 Death to Bill and Ted! 61 00:07:36,374 --> 00:07:38,964 Catch you later, evil dude. 62 00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:24,012 I am Bill S. Preston... 63 00:08:24,213 --> 00:08:25,883 ...Esquire! 64 00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:32,222 This is Ted "Theodore" Logan! 65 00:08:34,891 --> 00:08:37,101 On drums and keyboards... 66 00:08:37,393 --> 00:08:40,943 ...celebrating their fifth year in the 20th century... 67 00:08:41,230 --> 00:08:44,190 ...the beautiful princesses from medieval England. 68 00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:47,152 Joanna and Elizabeth. 69 00:08:48,613 --> 00:08:49,823 And we are... 70 00:08:50,948 --> 00:08:53,278 ...Wyld Stallyns. 71 00:08:56,662 --> 00:08:57,582 Guys! 72 00:08:57,788 --> 00:09:01,208 You keep telling me you're gonna be the greatest band in the world, but you stink. 73 00:09:01,417 --> 00:09:02,537 Yeah. 74 00:09:02,752 --> 00:09:04,632 We don't understand it either. 75 00:09:04,837 --> 00:09:07,087 I mean, you can't sing. 76 00:09:07,340 --> 00:09:11,970 The girls can play. But you guys? - Girls mature faster than guys. 77 00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:14,681 Plus, they started in the 15th century. 78 00:09:15,014 --> 00:09:16,184 What do you mean? 79 00:09:16,432 --> 00:09:19,732 They're from medieval England. - Ted, shut up. 80 00:09:20,228 --> 00:09:22,018 Medieval England, Iowa. 81 00:09:22,271 --> 00:09:24,361 Guys, the point is the Battle of the Bands is 82 00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:26,685 the biggest event for new groups in the area. 83 00:09:26,943 --> 00:09:29,653 We're talking about a $25,000 first prize... 84 00:09:29,904 --> 00:09:32,204 ...a two-year record deal and a chance to be seen by 85 00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:34,076 the most important people in the business. 86 00:09:34,283 --> 00:09:37,253 I mean, we've even got live coverage on Channel 12. 87 00:09:37,453 --> 00:09:40,373 Now, if you were me, would you put you guys on? 88 00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:41,753 No way. 89 00:09:43,084 --> 00:09:46,804 However, since you guys do work for Pretzels 'N' Cheese, I'll give you a shot. 90 00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:48,634 Excellent! 91 00:09:50,716 --> 00:09:56,056 But last. Midnight. Probably by that time, everyone will be gone home. 92 00:09:56,264 --> 00:09:58,814 That's all right. I mean, we're used to that. 93 00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:02,440 Yeah, we fully cleaned out Ted's little brother's junior high school dance. 94 00:10:02,687 --> 00:10:06,147 They totally turned on "La Bamba" while he was playing his solo. 95 00:10:06,357 --> 00:10:08,147 Shut up, Ted! 96 00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:12,452 Guys, do yourself a favor. Prepare a little. 97 00:10:12,655 --> 00:10:15,655 Work on your act. I mean, think of something. 98 00:10:15,908 --> 00:10:19,198 Don't worry, Ms. Wardroe. We won't let you down. 99 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:27,920 Dude, we gotta win at that concert. - Yeah, then we could finally propose to the ladies. 100 00:10:28,087 --> 00:10:28,917 I know. 101 00:10:29,130 --> 00:10:32,800 There's no way we can raise a family on the money we make at Pretzels 'N' Cheese, dude. 102 00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:37,142 I'll call Missy, tell her we're on our way. 103 00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:40,636 Should be a most resplendent birthday party. 104 00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:45,273 Shall we, ladies? - Great, sure. 105 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:09,300 So I understand you two have a little something else to celebrate tonight. 106 00:11:09,879 --> 00:11:12,339 We got into the Battle of the Bands. 107 00:11:13,424 --> 00:11:14,304 Yeah! - Yeah! 108 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:18,100 If we win, I can totally pay you back the money I owe you. 109 00:11:18,304 --> 00:11:20,354 And what if you don't win? 110 00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:26,691 Well, um, I guess... 111 00:11:29,982 --> 00:11:31,072 Maybe sell some more blood. 112 00:11:31,275 --> 00:11:34,605 Perhaps you should think about selling a couple of the instruments. 113 00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:38,702 Of course, we've always got a spot for you, Ted. 114 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:43,450 You remember my old friend, Colonel Oats from the Alaskan Military School? 115 00:11:44,997 --> 00:11:46,417 Oh, um... 116 00:11:48,793 --> 00:11:50,383 "How's it going?", Ted? - Yeah. 117 00:11:50,628 --> 00:11:52,418 Splendidly. 118 00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:55,091 Remember... 119 00:11:55,341 --> 00:11:57,931 ...it's not too late for you, Ted. 120 00:12:00,805 --> 00:12:01,675 Yeah. 121 00:12:03,391 --> 00:12:04,181 Whoa. 122 00:12:04,517 --> 00:12:05,977 For either of you. 123 00:12:07,103 --> 00:12:09,193 For all four of you. 124 00:12:17,405 --> 00:12:19,025 Fresh fudge. 125 00:12:20,282 --> 00:12:22,282 Hi, Oatsie. - Hi. 126 00:12:23,619 --> 00:12:24,869 Darling. 127 00:12:26,622 --> 00:12:28,332 Hi, guys. - Hi, Missy. 128 00:12:28,582 --> 00:12:31,212 Hey, Missy. I mean, Mom. 129 00:12:36,549 --> 00:12:39,639 I can't believe Missy divorced your dad... 130 00:12:39,844 --> 00:12:41,474 ...and married mine. 131 00:12:42,471 --> 00:12:44,011 Shut up, Ted. 132 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:52,480 Your dad looks bad. - I know. 133 00:12:54,483 --> 00:12:55,653 What's next? 134 00:12:55,943 --> 00:13:00,783 Maybe she'll marry you. - Yeah, then you'll be your own stepdad. 135 00:13:05,578 --> 00:13:08,288 You've probably noticed we haven't given you our gifts yet. 136 00:13:08,497 --> 00:13:11,957 Yeah. That's because... 137 00:13:14,378 --> 00:13:16,668 Uh... well... 138 00:13:17,757 --> 00:13:20,717 That's because what we wanted to say was, uh... 139 00:13:22,762 --> 00:13:26,352 well... uh... 140 00:13:29,143 --> 00:13:30,353 Excuse us, dude. 141 00:13:40,112 --> 00:13:41,702 I wrote this myself. 142 00:13:41,906 --> 00:13:43,986 I wrote this last night. 143 00:13:49,163 --> 00:13:50,123 "Elizabeth..." 144 00:13:50,414 --> 00:13:51,334 "Joanna... 145 00:13:53,125 --> 00:13:56,545 ...as I wander through this dark and lonely forest of life..." 146 00:13:56,754 --> 00:13:59,094 "...surrounded by various beasts..." 147 00:13:59,340 --> 00:14:02,380 "...bears, vipers, squirrels..." 148 00:14:02,593 --> 00:14:05,103 "Not to mention barnacles and algae..." 149 00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:09,351 "...man-of-wars, starfish, blowfish, catfish..." 150 00:14:09,934 --> 00:14:11,774 Oh, no, that's freshwater. 151 00:14:12,812 --> 00:14:16,942 The point is, I know we promised you a better life than this. 152 00:14:18,442 --> 00:14:23,322 What I mean to say is, I realize when we took you out of England... 153 00:14:23,531 --> 00:14:26,951 ...we said the future held some really good stuff. 154 00:14:27,201 --> 00:14:30,331 Although stuff hasn't worked out the way we thought... 155 00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:33,958 ...it will, we hope. 156 00:14:35,543 --> 00:14:37,963 The day after tomorrow, if things work out... 157 00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:40,802 What this is about is... 158 00:14:48,848 --> 00:14:50,518 Will you...? - Marry us? 159 00:14:57,481 --> 00:14:59,281 Theodore... - I'd love to. 160 00:15:22,381 --> 00:15:23,381 Yeah! 161 00:15:40,733 --> 00:15:45,403 Aim for the cat, dude! Aim for the cat! - I'm trying, Evil Ted! I'm trying! 162 00:15:50,284 --> 00:15:51,954 Aw, just missed! 163 00:16:02,171 --> 00:16:06,221 Not bad. - Yeah, let's make it bad. 164 00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:18,981 We're here, dude. 165 00:16:20,064 --> 00:16:21,404 Is Rufus with you? 166 00:16:22,733 --> 00:16:23,693 One second. 167 00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:39,332 Looks like we lost him in the circuits of time, duder. 168 00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:42,883 Good. Then he's gone forever. 169 00:16:43,087 --> 00:16:46,467 Our first act of business: 170 00:16:46,674 --> 00:16:49,894 Destroy that ridiculous, insipid band! 171 00:16:50,552 --> 00:16:52,392 You got it, dude! 172 00:16:53,347 --> 00:16:54,557 Get to work. 173 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:57,520 Now! 174 00:16:57,768 --> 00:16:59,438 Study these books well. 175 00:16:59,603 --> 00:17:02,193 When my mission is completed... 176 00:17:02,481 --> 00:17:05,191 ...this will be the new history. 177 00:17:06,694 --> 00:17:08,154 What a shithead. 178 00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:15,202 Bye! - Bye! 179 00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:17,873 Drive safe! 180 00:17:19,415 --> 00:17:20,365 Dude. - What? 181 00:17:20,624 --> 00:17:24,044 I wonder if after we're married, the princesses will stay over with us? 182 00:17:24,253 --> 00:17:26,713 Yeah, our girlfriends are most chaste. 183 00:17:26,922 --> 00:17:29,882 Yeah. At least they're not dating our dads. - Good point, dude. 184 00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:31,890 Yeah. 185 00:17:36,682 --> 00:17:39,272 Hello? - Hello, Bill. This is Joanna. 186 00:17:39,518 --> 00:17:42,478 Hey, Joanna! How'd you call us so fast? 187 00:17:42,771 --> 00:17:44,821 It's not important. This is: 188 00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:49,357 Elizabeth and I have spoken, and we've decided we're quitting Wyld Stallyns. 189 00:17:49,570 --> 00:17:50,530 What? 190 00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:51,859 Yes! - Why? 191 00:17:52,114 --> 00:17:55,034 We think you're losers and we never want to see you again. 192 00:17:55,284 --> 00:17:56,204 No way! 193 00:17:56,410 --> 00:17:58,660 We're going to the desert to be alone. 194 00:17:59,288 --> 00:18:01,998 But... - It's over. Goodbye. 195 00:18:09,381 --> 00:18:14,091 I totally fooled those other usses. - Yeah, they're completely brilliant. 196 00:18:14,303 --> 00:18:15,353 Not! 197 00:18:16,472 --> 00:18:18,852 Let's fitch the booth and start phase two. - Station. 198 00:18:47,586 --> 00:18:50,256 An incredible fortune in stones. 199 00:18:51,882 --> 00:18:54,802 Yet I would trade them all for a hand phaser. 200 00:18:56,261 --> 00:18:58,431 Or a good solid club. 201 00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:02,809 Maybe we should've proposed to them sooner. 202 00:19:04,812 --> 00:19:06,772 How could we, Ted? 203 00:19:07,022 --> 00:19:09,532 We could barely afford our own apartment. 204 00:19:10,234 --> 00:19:14,074 This is most non-non-heinous. 205 00:19:14,655 --> 00:19:17,775 What are we gonna do? - We gotta find them. 206 00:19:18,075 --> 00:19:19,235 Talk to 'em. 207 00:19:20,244 --> 00:19:21,164 But how? 208 00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:42,352 Wonder who that could be? 209 00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:52,570 How's it going, Bill and Ted? 210 00:19:52,943 --> 00:19:55,363 Ted, it's us again. 211 00:19:56,155 --> 00:19:59,235 How's it going, Bill? - Not bad, Bill. And you? 212 00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:00,449 Bad. 213 00:20:01,577 --> 00:20:05,827 We came to help you guys in your most unfortunate situation. 214 00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:06,829 Yeah. 215 00:20:14,506 --> 00:20:15,506 How? 216 00:20:15,757 --> 00:20:17,757 Come with us. We'll show you. 217 00:20:17,968 --> 00:20:19,088 Okay. 218 00:20:20,012 --> 00:20:21,392 Excuse us. 219 00:20:21,597 --> 00:20:22,387 Dude. 220 00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:28,148 I got a weird feeling here. - Why? 221 00:20:28,729 --> 00:20:29,979 I don't know. 222 00:20:30,981 --> 00:20:33,901 How do we know these guys are really us? 223 00:20:38,363 --> 00:20:40,283 Ted, we've been through this before. 224 00:20:40,490 --> 00:20:43,240 Now if it wasn't for the previous intervention of our future selves... 225 00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:47,333 ...would we have even passed history? Or met the babes? 226 00:20:47,998 --> 00:20:51,418 Or had a most excellent adventure through time? 227 00:20:52,669 --> 00:20:53,379 Okay. 228 00:20:56,048 --> 00:21:00,428 Ted, if you're really me, how many fingers am I about to hold up? 229 00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:01,637 Three. 230 00:21:02,471 --> 00:21:03,641 Whoa! - Whoa! 231 00:21:04,181 --> 00:21:05,181 You're right! 232 00:21:07,601 --> 00:21:09,561 Let's go, guys. We'll drive. 233 00:21:15,692 --> 00:21:17,112 Ted. - What? 234 00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:22,162 I have a feeling we're about to embark on a most unprecedented expedition. 235 00:21:24,243 --> 00:21:25,703 Dude. - What? 236 00:21:27,162 --> 00:21:30,082 I got a full-on robot chubby. 237 00:21:31,083 --> 00:21:32,423 Later, Evil Ted. 238 00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:34,170 Later. 239 00:21:48,850 --> 00:21:50,100 I'm cold. 240 00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:51,520 Yeah. 241 00:21:52,646 --> 00:21:55,396 Hey! Dudes! Can we have some heat back here? 242 00:21:55,649 --> 00:21:57,109 Shut up, Bill. 243 00:21:59,444 --> 00:22:01,614 That other you's a real jerk. 244 00:22:01,863 --> 00:22:07,663 Yeah! I better remember to be more considerate towards myself when I become him. 245 00:22:07,911 --> 00:22:09,911 He said, shut your holes! 246 00:22:11,081 --> 00:22:12,041 Dude. 247 00:22:12,874 --> 00:22:14,924 I got a very bad feeling. 248 00:22:49,077 --> 00:22:50,157 Out. 249 00:22:57,669 --> 00:23:01,089 So, where are Joanna and Elizabeth? 250 00:23:01,590 --> 00:23:02,340 They're not here. 251 00:23:02,549 --> 00:23:07,469 Yeah. We lied. Here's the truth, we're totally gonna kill you now. 252 00:23:08,722 --> 00:23:10,602 No way! - Yes way, Ted. 253 00:23:11,141 --> 00:23:15,441 We're fully programmed to do it. - Yeah, and we want to do it, too. 254 00:23:16,229 --> 00:23:18,069 You dick, Bill! 255 00:23:19,733 --> 00:23:21,943 Ow! 256 00:23:22,402 --> 00:23:26,322 You're metal, dude! - I know. Check it out! 257 00:23:29,493 --> 00:23:30,953 Whoa! 258 00:23:36,708 --> 00:23:37,628 Let's go. 259 00:23:38,377 --> 00:23:39,837 Bogus. 260 00:24:12,536 --> 00:24:15,406 Ted... 261 00:24:16,123 --> 00:24:17,543 ...we gotta do something. 262 00:24:18,208 --> 00:24:21,668 Dudes, even though you're doing this... 263 00:24:21,962 --> 00:24:25,302 ...we, we... 264 00:24:25,549 --> 00:24:27,009 ...we love you. 265 00:24:27,300 --> 00:24:28,970 We love you. 266 00:24:31,263 --> 00:24:32,643 Fags! 267 00:24:37,811 --> 00:24:40,981 Catch you later, Bill and Ted! 268 00:24:58,623 --> 00:25:01,883 Yes! I totally loogied on that good dead me! 269 00:25:02,043 --> 00:25:02,923 Yeah! 270 00:25:04,171 --> 00:25:06,801 We're fully, full-on evil robots. - Yeah! 271 00:25:12,721 --> 00:25:15,391 You wanna take the van? - No, it's beat. 272 00:25:18,101 --> 00:25:19,271 There's a Porsche. 273 00:25:21,313 --> 00:25:22,443 Let's bag it. 274 00:25:24,232 --> 00:25:25,732 Station. 275 00:26:04,272 --> 00:26:05,232 Bill... 276 00:26:06,900 --> 00:26:08,190 ...what happened? 277 00:26:09,903 --> 00:26:10,823 Ted... 278 00:26:12,197 --> 00:26:13,657 ...we're dead, dude. 279 00:26:17,452 --> 00:26:21,212 No way. - Yes way. 280 00:26:21,414 --> 00:26:22,794 Look. 281 00:26:29,506 --> 00:26:31,216 Now what? 282 00:26:35,178 --> 00:26:36,428 Who's that? 283 00:26:43,603 --> 00:26:44,773 Whoa! 284 00:26:46,982 --> 00:26:48,192 Who are you? 285 00:26:49,067 --> 00:26:49,777 Ted... 286 00:26:51,528 --> 00:26:53,528 ...it's the Grim Reaper, dude. 287 00:26:53,738 --> 00:26:54,408 Oh. 288 00:26:56,992 --> 00:26:58,702 How's it hanging, Death? 289 00:26:59,703 --> 00:27:02,333 You will come with me. 290 00:27:05,375 --> 00:27:08,545 We can't. We gotta get back to the babes. 291 00:27:08,753 --> 00:27:11,213 Ted, we can't. We're dead, dude. 292 00:27:11,423 --> 00:27:14,513 We gotta stop those evil usses. We gotta try. 293 00:27:17,012 --> 00:27:20,142 Excuse us, dude, but is there any way back? 294 00:27:22,601 --> 00:27:25,601 You may challenge me to a contest. 295 00:27:26,229 --> 00:27:27,809 But if you lose... 296 00:27:28,690 --> 00:27:31,610 ...you will remain here in the afterlife... 297 00:27:32,152 --> 00:27:33,572 ...forever. 298 00:27:38,283 --> 00:27:40,373 What if we win? 299 00:27:41,453 --> 00:27:45,083 No one has ever won. 300 00:27:46,374 --> 00:27:49,844 Dude, we gotta ditch this guy. - Definitely. 301 00:27:50,420 --> 00:27:51,500 But how? 302 00:27:54,257 --> 00:27:55,877 Melvin. 303 00:28:00,096 --> 00:28:02,556 Excuse us, dude... 304 00:28:02,766 --> 00:28:05,346 ...but your shoes are untied. 305 00:28:06,436 --> 00:28:07,346 Oh. 306 00:28:15,862 --> 00:28:19,122 I can't believe we just Melvined Death. 307 00:28:19,282 --> 00:28:20,162 Yeah! 308 00:28:21,743 --> 00:28:23,663 Let's just hope he doesn't catch up with us. 309 00:28:40,595 --> 00:28:42,505 Whoa. 310 00:29:05,662 --> 00:29:07,082 No way! 311 00:29:10,667 --> 00:29:11,667 This isn't funny. 312 00:29:11,918 --> 00:29:13,378 Way to go, Joanna! 313 00:29:13,670 --> 00:29:16,300 I don't understand what's come over you two. 314 00:29:16,548 --> 00:29:20,428 You see, we used to be puss-weeds, but now we're metal. 315 00:29:20,677 --> 00:29:22,097 So get over here and put out! 316 00:29:24,681 --> 00:29:27,811 Let's go. You can forget about us playing tonight. 317 00:29:28,727 --> 00:29:29,687 Fine. 318 00:29:35,483 --> 00:29:37,693 Then I guess that's that. 319 00:29:39,863 --> 00:29:41,953 Yeah, see 'ya. 320 00:29:54,502 --> 00:29:56,592 Catch you later, babes! 321 00:30:06,139 --> 00:30:08,309 Ted, I have an idea. 322 00:30:08,558 --> 00:30:11,388 Tonight at the concert after we make De Nomolos' speech... 323 00:30:12,228 --> 00:30:14,188 ...let's waste them. 324 00:30:14,939 --> 00:30:19,149 Station. In the meantime, let's trash this lame little rathole. 325 00:30:19,402 --> 00:30:20,822 Stellar, Evil Ted! 326 00:30:27,452 --> 00:30:32,042 Ted, we have got to stop them. - Yeah. But how? 327 00:30:36,419 --> 00:30:37,749 I hope this works. 328 00:30:37,962 --> 00:30:40,922 It worked in The Exorcist. I and Ill! 329 00:30:46,471 --> 00:30:47,511 Alright, Hirschfeld, 330 00:30:47,722 --> 00:30:51,682 you'll move downtown so DeLoach can take her maternity leave. 331 00:30:51,893 --> 00:30:55,193 Also, we need to make a few shifts. Anyone interested in moonlighting... 332 00:30:55,438 --> 00:30:58,858 ...we'll be stepping up security at the amphitheater tonight for the Battle of the Bands. 333 00:30:59,108 --> 00:31:02,318 I hear your son's band is playing? 334 00:31:04,948 --> 00:31:09,158 Thank you for reminding me, sergeant. Also, Scott Frank... 335 00:31:09,494 --> 00:31:13,834 So, how do we do this? - I don't know. 336 00:31:15,333 --> 00:31:17,293 Why don't you try something? 337 00:31:18,503 --> 00:31:19,633 Okay. 338 00:31:32,559 --> 00:31:33,389 Whoa! 339 00:31:37,230 --> 00:31:39,360 Okay, dudes. 340 00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:42,360 I mean, fellow policemen... 341 00:31:42,944 --> 00:31:45,574 ...my son, Ted "Theodore" Logan... 342 00:31:45,822 --> 00:31:48,412 ...and his friend Bill S. Preston, Esquire... 343 00:31:48,658 --> 00:31:53,078 ...have been murdered and replaced by evil robots from the future. 344 00:31:53,288 --> 00:31:54,998 You totally did it, dude! 345 00:31:55,164 --> 00:31:57,044 I totally possessed my dad. 346 00:32:02,213 --> 00:32:03,343 Okay. 347 00:32:04,132 --> 00:32:06,432 You got to go over and arrest these robots 348 00:32:06,634 --> 00:32:09,184 so they don't ruin everything for me and Bill. 349 00:32:09,470 --> 00:32:11,930 I mean, my son and Bill. 350 00:32:12,557 --> 00:32:16,807 And, most importantly, they don't hurt the babes. 351 00:32:17,979 --> 00:32:19,439 The princesses. 352 00:32:21,983 --> 00:32:23,113 This isn't working. 353 00:32:23,359 --> 00:32:25,949 Back me up, dude. - You got it, dude. 354 00:32:38,082 --> 00:32:40,672 I totally believe you, dude. 355 00:32:40,877 --> 00:32:42,167 Yeah! - Yeah! 356 00:32:42,378 --> 00:32:46,628 Whoa! Doughnuts! - Whoa! Excellent! 357 00:32:46,841 --> 00:32:48,511 Savory cruller. 358 00:32:49,177 --> 00:32:52,637 I got really hungry being dead. - Yeah! 359 00:32:53,473 --> 00:32:54,433 Bill? 360 00:32:54,641 --> 00:32:57,061 I don't think they believe us. 361 00:32:58,061 --> 00:33:00,941 We'll have to find somebody who will. 362 00:33:01,856 --> 00:33:04,476 Catch you later, cop dudes! 363 00:33:10,698 --> 00:33:13,078 Ted, we can't go like this. 364 00:33:13,409 --> 00:33:15,869 Oh. Yeah! 365 00:33:25,463 --> 00:33:27,473 Thanks, Dad. 366 00:33:29,509 --> 00:33:33,179 Good morning. - Sergeant. 367 00:33:38,309 --> 00:33:39,229 Gandhi. 368 00:33:41,646 --> 00:33:43,436 Anne Boleyn. 369 00:33:44,482 --> 00:33:45,942 Aristotle. 370 00:33:46,693 --> 00:33:49,533 President Chester A. Arthur. - Yes! 371 00:33:51,030 --> 00:33:52,780 Clark Gable. 372 00:33:53,533 --> 00:33:55,123 Charlemagne. 373 00:33:55,660 --> 00:33:57,500 And I would like to contact Ty Cobb. 374 00:34:04,585 --> 00:34:07,835 Has this séance stuff ever worked? - No. 375 00:34:09,382 --> 00:34:11,682 But it will today, dude. 376 00:34:19,225 --> 00:34:22,345 O great spirits from the netherworld... 377 00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:26,440 ...leave your celestial abode and speak upon us... 378 00:34:26,733 --> 00:34:29,903 ...with your life lessons. 379 00:34:34,073 --> 00:34:37,703 Whoa! 380 00:34:40,621 --> 00:34:42,961 I feel the spirits have arrived! 381 00:34:43,124 --> 00:34:44,964 How's it going... 382 00:34:45,251 --> 00:34:48,091 ...New Age dudes? 383 00:34:48,838 --> 00:34:51,798 Spirits, can you hear me? 384 00:34:52,008 --> 00:34:53,128 Yeah! 385 00:34:54,927 --> 00:34:57,137 And we can totally see down your... 386 00:34:57,430 --> 00:35:00,220 Ted, it's your mom, dude! 387 00:35:02,060 --> 00:35:05,230 Whoa, you're right! Move over, dude. 388 00:35:06,481 --> 00:35:09,691 Spirits, what have you to say to us? 389 00:35:09,859 --> 00:35:10,689 OK... 390 00:35:10,902 --> 00:35:14,572 ...the princesses are in trouble. 391 00:35:14,739 --> 00:35:19,159 Yeah. Ted and his most excellent friend Bill... 392 00:35:19,452 --> 00:35:21,162 ...were killed! 393 00:35:22,747 --> 00:35:24,367 Listen to us. - You must go. 394 00:35:24,582 --> 00:35:26,212 Beware of evil Bill! 395 00:35:27,126 --> 00:35:30,376 Warn the princesses! 396 00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:33,220 O evil spirits from Hell... 397 00:35:33,466 --> 00:35:36,586 ...I send you back into the darkness from whence you came! 398 00:35:39,972 --> 00:35:44,392 What's she doing? - I don't know, but I don't think it's good. 399 00:35:45,895 --> 00:35:47,355 Uh-oh. 400 00:35:47,980 --> 00:35:49,520 No way! 401 00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:49,170 Dude, this is a totally deep hole. - Yeah! 402 00:36:52,170 --> 00:36:55,300 Now what? - I don't know. 403 00:37:07,935 --> 00:37:08,805 Hey. 404 00:37:09,145 --> 00:37:13,645 You wanna play 20 Questions? - Okay. I got one. 405 00:37:14,108 --> 00:37:15,108 Are you a mineral? 406 00:37:16,694 --> 00:37:17,404 Yeah. 407 00:37:18,279 --> 00:37:19,359 Are you a tank? 408 00:37:19,572 --> 00:37:21,322 Whoa, yeah! 409 00:37:21,532 --> 00:37:22,742 Good one! 410 00:37:25,244 --> 00:37:26,004 Whoa! 411 00:37:26,871 --> 00:37:30,001 Not bad! - Yeah. Can we do it again? 412 00:37:30,958 --> 00:37:35,338 I'm working as hard as I can! 413 00:37:35,630 --> 00:37:37,550 No way! 414 00:37:41,636 --> 00:37:44,636 This is not what I expected this place to look like at all. 415 00:37:44,847 --> 00:37:48,637 Yeah. We got totally lied to by our album covers, man. 416 00:38:00,738 --> 00:38:02,158 Whoa. 417 00:38:02,448 --> 00:38:03,948 Who's that? 418 00:38:04,408 --> 00:38:07,748 Ted, who do you think it is, dude? 419 00:38:09,455 --> 00:38:10,705 Oh yeah! 420 00:38:12,500 --> 00:38:14,540 How are we gonna get his attention? 421 00:38:15,461 --> 00:38:17,171 Sign of the devil, dude! 422 00:38:17,838 --> 00:38:21,678 Hey, Devil dude! Yo! - Down here! 423 00:38:21,842 --> 00:38:24,102 Down here, dude! 424 00:38:24,345 --> 00:38:27,095 Two little guys! 425 00:38:27,348 --> 00:38:29,348 Big dude! Down here! 426 00:38:30,518 --> 00:38:32,398 Right down here, bro! 427 00:38:40,736 --> 00:38:43,946 Dude, I kind of like this. 428 00:38:44,156 --> 00:38:45,906 Whoa! 429 00:38:46,117 --> 00:38:47,787 Excellent! 430 00:38:49,829 --> 00:38:52,329 Let's get out of here, dude. - OK. 431 00:38:57,545 --> 00:39:01,795 Ted, if I die, you can have my Megadeth collection. 432 00:39:02,008 --> 00:39:03,928 But, dude, we're already dead! 433 00:39:04,218 --> 00:39:05,088 Oh. 434 00:39:05,720 --> 00:39:09,810 Well, then they're yours, dude. - Whoa! Thanks, dude. 435 00:39:30,661 --> 00:39:32,791 How's it going, Beelzebub? 436 00:39:32,997 --> 00:39:34,667 So, uh... 437 00:39:34,874 --> 00:39:37,174 Okay. Can we go now? 438 00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:40,420 You may go. 439 00:39:42,631 --> 00:39:44,301 Whoa! 440 00:39:44,508 --> 00:39:45,968 Thanks, dude! - Yeah! 441 00:39:46,260 --> 00:39:50,970 You know, you got a bad rap, but you're actually an okay dude! 442 00:40:02,985 --> 00:40:03,775 Whoa. 443 00:40:04,862 --> 00:40:08,162 Where are we? - I don't know. 444 00:40:09,784 --> 00:40:12,244 Maybe we should try one of these tunnels. 445 00:40:20,669 --> 00:40:23,259 Dude, where are we? - I don't know. 446 00:40:24,048 --> 00:40:26,178 Maybe we should try one of these doors. 447 00:40:32,181 --> 00:40:34,101 After you, dude. 448 00:40:42,191 --> 00:40:43,901 Now where are we? 449 00:40:47,238 --> 00:40:48,278 Who's that? 450 00:40:53,119 --> 00:40:54,369 It's Colonel Oats! 451 00:40:55,121 --> 00:40:56,711 No way! 452 00:40:57,081 --> 00:40:58,751 Gentlemen! 453 00:41:00,709 --> 00:41:03,419 Welcome to Hell. 454 00:41:03,712 --> 00:41:06,172 No way. - What?! 455 00:41:06,340 --> 00:41:07,970 No way, sir? 456 00:41:08,175 --> 00:41:09,965 You two... 457 00:41:11,137 --> 00:41:14,637 ...will do whatever I tell you to do... 458 00:41:14,932 --> 00:41:17,772 ...from now on. 459 00:41:18,060 --> 00:41:20,400 Is that clear? 460 00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:24,730 Yes, sir, dude! - What?! 461 00:41:25,401 --> 00:41:28,281 Yes, dude, sir! - What?! 462 00:41:28,863 --> 00:41:30,703 Yes, sir, sir dude! 463 00:41:30,906 --> 00:41:33,696 Get down and give me... 464 00:41:33,951 --> 00:41:36,081 ...infinity. 465 00:41:39,290 --> 00:41:43,170 Stupid, pathetic, craven little cretins. 466 00:41:43,377 --> 00:41:44,337 Dude. 467 00:41:44,712 --> 00:41:50,012 There's no way I can possibly do infinity pushups! - Pitiful little morons. 468 00:41:50,342 --> 00:41:52,932 Maybe if he lets us do 'em girlie-style. - Jokers! 469 00:41:53,179 --> 00:41:57,559 You petty, base, bully, bullock, bugger billies. 470 00:41:57,808 --> 00:42:01,518 You're not strong! You're silky boys! 471 00:42:02,062 --> 00:42:06,232 Silk comes from the butts of Chinese worms. 472 00:42:06,442 --> 00:42:08,612 Dude, we gotta get out of here. 473 00:42:08,819 --> 00:42:11,699 I'll eat you up like the warm, toasty little butter cakes you are. 474 00:42:11,947 --> 00:42:14,327 Get back here! 475 00:42:18,204 --> 00:42:19,834 Dude. - What? 476 00:42:20,122 --> 00:42:22,752 I think we're in our own personal hell. 477 00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:27,090 Let's split up. - Yeah. That way he can't get us so bad. 478 00:42:47,525 --> 00:42:49,435 What happened? 479 00:43:11,465 --> 00:43:15,045 ♪ ♪ Whoa! 480 00:43:16,428 --> 00:43:18,178 Bogus! 481 00:43:23,310 --> 00:43:32,650 ♪ Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! ♪ 482 00:43:33,112 --> 00:43:38,782 ♪ Happy birthday, dear Granny! ♪ 483 00:43:39,493 --> 00:43:44,623 ♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪ 484 00:43:45,666 --> 00:43:50,246 Granny S. Preston, Esquire. 485 00:43:50,546 --> 00:43:51,956 No way. 486 00:44:02,349 --> 00:44:03,349 Theodore! 487 00:44:05,519 --> 00:44:07,439 You made your little brother cry. 488 00:44:08,230 --> 00:44:09,610 How about... 489 00:44:09,982 --> 00:44:11,652 ...a kiss... 490 00:44:12,234 --> 00:44:16,784 ...for your dear old granny, Bill? 491 00:44:23,704 --> 00:44:25,084 Come along. 492 00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:35,720 You stole Deacon's Easter basket. 493 00:44:35,966 --> 00:44:39,426 No way. This was 10 years ago! 494 00:44:39,637 --> 00:44:40,927 Uh-huh! 495 00:44:48,312 --> 00:44:49,312 Come here! 496 00:44:49,521 --> 00:44:52,321 Whoa! 497 00:44:54,151 --> 00:44:57,991 That was non, non, non... Non-heinous! 498 00:44:58,238 --> 00:44:59,488 Choose... 499 00:44:59,782 --> 00:45:00,952 ...your... 500 00:45:01,241 --> 00:45:03,291 ...eternity. 501 00:45:06,747 --> 00:45:09,957 Choose your own, you fag! 502 00:45:18,759 --> 00:45:23,599 You ugly, red source of all evil! 503 00:45:30,604 --> 00:45:33,274 Hello, girls. 504 00:45:42,991 --> 00:45:44,241 Dude. - What? 505 00:45:44,243 --> 00:45:46,413 Hell sucks! - Definitely! 506 00:45:46,620 --> 00:45:53,170 You total no-nosed salamanders! - Deac's Easter basket! Nya-na-na-na-na 507 00:45:55,045 --> 00:45:56,335 Come to Oatsie! 508 00:46:00,801 --> 00:46:02,931 I wanted one right on the lips! 509 00:46:04,304 --> 00:46:09,524 Ted, there's only one way outta here, man! - Right, dude. We gotta play the Reaper! 510 00:46:16,275 --> 00:46:18,815 Choose your game. 511 00:46:19,361 --> 00:46:21,571 But if you lose... 512 00:46:21,864 --> 00:46:24,494 ...you will stay here in Hell... 513 00:46:25,367 --> 00:46:27,077 ...forever. 514 00:46:43,886 --> 00:46:46,176 D-1. 515 00:46:50,851 --> 00:46:51,811 Miss. 516 00:47:01,111 --> 00:47:02,401 B... 517 00:47:02,696 --> 00:47:03,776 ...3. 518 00:47:05,282 --> 00:47:06,952 Miss. 519 00:47:08,702 --> 00:47:11,332 C-6. 520 00:47:15,709 --> 00:47:16,879 Hit. 521 00:47:20,798 --> 00:47:23,508 Dude... - I know. 522 00:47:30,349 --> 00:47:32,679 J-7. 523 00:47:33,769 --> 00:47:35,899 J-7... 524 00:47:37,481 --> 00:47:38,441 Hit. 525 00:47:38,607 --> 00:47:40,107 Yeah! 526 00:47:40,275 --> 00:47:44,275 A hit. You have sunk my battleship. 527 00:47:45,030 --> 00:47:45,990 Excellent! 528 00:47:48,492 --> 00:47:51,622 I totally knew he put it in the J's. - Good thinking, Ted. 529 00:47:51,870 --> 00:47:53,790 You must play me again. 530 00:47:54,498 --> 00:47:58,418 What?! - Um, best two out of three. 531 00:47:58,669 --> 00:47:59,879 No way! 532 00:48:03,799 --> 00:48:05,629 Yes way. 533 00:48:14,268 --> 00:48:16,348 What's he doing? - I don't know. 534 00:48:27,114 --> 00:48:29,204 I believe... 535 00:48:29,449 --> 00:48:33,539 ...Col. Mustard did it in the study with the candlestick. 536 00:48:41,837 --> 00:48:45,047 Sorry, Death. You lose. It was Professor Plum. 537 00:48:45,299 --> 00:48:49,219 I said "Plum." - No way. You said "Mustard!" 538 00:48:49,469 --> 00:48:50,799 Can we go back now? 539 00:48:53,181 --> 00:48:54,811 Best three out of five. 540 00:48:56,018 --> 00:48:58,228 I don't believe this guy. 541 00:49:10,282 --> 00:49:12,702 Best of seven? - Damn right! 542 00:49:17,623 --> 00:49:19,583 Right hand, green. 543 00:49:24,504 --> 00:49:26,514 Left hand, red. 544 00:49:30,886 --> 00:49:33,006 Right foot, green. 545 00:49:33,680 --> 00:49:35,100 Right foot... 546 00:49:44,983 --> 00:49:48,033 Oh! Oh, dude! 547 00:49:57,537 --> 00:49:58,617 Yeah! 548 00:49:59,081 --> 00:50:00,371 Yeah! 549 00:50:01,500 --> 00:50:02,670 Well? 550 00:50:07,839 --> 00:50:09,259 I will... 551 00:50:11,176 --> 00:50:12,676 ...take you back. 552 00:50:20,018 --> 00:50:24,688 You played very well, Death. - Especially with your totally heavy death robes. 553 00:50:24,982 --> 00:50:26,732 Don't patronize me. 554 00:50:26,984 --> 00:50:31,244 Whoa, whatever, dude. But you got a lot to learn about sportsmanship. 555 00:50:32,406 --> 00:50:33,866 This way. 556 00:50:34,992 --> 00:50:36,872 Now we can go back and save the babes. 557 00:50:37,119 --> 00:50:41,079 Yeah, but Bill, when we get back, how will we fight those other usses? 558 00:50:41,331 --> 00:50:45,341 I mean, they're totally stronger than us. And way smarter than us. 559 00:50:45,585 --> 00:50:47,335 Yeah, plus, they already killed us once. 560 00:50:47,546 --> 00:50:49,336 Yeah. 561 00:50:50,007 --> 00:50:51,757 One minute, duder! 562 00:50:52,175 --> 00:50:57,385 Okay, if we were good human usses and we had to fight two evil robot usses... 563 00:50:57,639 --> 00:51:01,179 ...what would we do? - Make good robot usses? 564 00:51:01,435 --> 00:51:03,935 Ted, good thinking, dude! 565 00:51:04,104 --> 00:51:05,314 Excuse us. 566 00:51:05,731 --> 00:51:08,401 Excuse me, Death? - Oh, now what? 567 00:51:08,608 --> 00:51:11,858 Well, could you take us to someone who could help us? 568 00:51:12,112 --> 00:51:15,492 You have beaten me. I am at your command. 569 00:51:15,782 --> 00:51:16,992 Cool! 570 00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:18,870 This way. 571 00:51:20,412 --> 00:51:22,122 Ted. - What? 572 00:51:22,330 --> 00:51:23,960 Don't fear the Reaper. 573 00:51:25,417 --> 00:51:27,377 I heard that. 574 00:51:36,720 --> 00:51:37,430 Whoa. 575 00:51:39,890 --> 00:51:42,730 This is most atypical. 576 00:52:07,250 --> 00:52:08,880 Welcome to Heaven. 577 00:52:11,171 --> 00:52:13,091 I'm sure I'll enjoy it. 578 00:52:13,799 --> 00:52:15,049 Thank you. 579 00:52:17,260 --> 00:52:18,430 Through there. 580 00:52:18,678 --> 00:52:19,848 Welcome to Heaven. 581 00:52:20,013 --> 00:52:21,393 Hello. - Hello. 582 00:52:21,556 --> 00:52:23,556 Thank you. - You're welcome. 583 00:52:24,976 --> 00:52:29,436 "Only the most serene and enlightened souls shall gain audience." 584 00:52:29,731 --> 00:52:31,731 Dude, we're in big trouble. 585 00:52:34,277 --> 00:52:36,277 I think I have an idea, dude. 586 00:52:42,536 --> 00:52:45,076 Hello, welcome to Heaven. - Psst. Hey. 587 00:52:45,288 --> 00:52:46,918 Wise dudes. 588 00:52:47,207 --> 00:52:49,577 Can we ask you a question? - OK. 589 00:52:49,918 --> 00:52:51,668 Right this way, please. 590 00:53:02,514 --> 00:53:05,354 Dude, we're in Heaven, and we just mugged three people. 591 00:53:05,559 --> 00:53:09,189 I know. We better get outta here before we ruin it for everybody. 592 00:53:12,607 --> 00:53:14,397 Come on, Death. 593 00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:17,280 You look great, dude. 594 00:53:18,613 --> 00:53:20,203 You think so? 595 00:53:20,907 --> 00:53:23,827 Yeah. 596 00:53:25,203 --> 00:53:26,713 You do. 597 00:53:29,624 --> 00:53:31,214 Shut up. 598 00:53:32,335 --> 00:53:34,835 Come on, dude. - It's not funny. 599 00:53:35,630 --> 00:53:38,010 I can't believe I'm doing this stupid... 600 00:53:38,258 --> 00:53:41,178 How did I end up in this ridiculous situation? 601 00:54:00,947 --> 00:54:02,117 How's it going? 602 00:54:03,742 --> 00:54:05,742 What is the meaning of life? 603 00:54:07,537 --> 00:54:09,327 Dude, I have no idea what it is. 604 00:54:15,879 --> 00:54:19,929 Every rose has its thorn 605 00:54:20,217 --> 00:54:24,257 Just like every night has its dawn 606 00:54:24,471 --> 00:54:27,471 Just like every cowboy 607 00:54:27,641 --> 00:54:31,941 Sings a sad, sad song 608 00:54:36,942 --> 00:54:40,112 Every rose has a thorn 609 00:54:42,572 --> 00:54:43,992 Don't I know you? 610 00:54:45,825 --> 00:54:46,945 No. 611 00:55:27,993 --> 00:55:32,833 OK. So, God, as if you didn't know... 612 00:55:33,498 --> 00:55:36,878 ...we're not the three wise people that you might have thought we were. 613 00:55:37,043 --> 00:55:42,553 No. We mugged three people and took their clothes. Sorry. 614 00:55:42,799 --> 00:55:46,429 I'm Bill S. Preston. - I'm Ted "Theodore" Logan. 615 00:55:46,678 --> 00:55:50,518 Together, we are Wyld Stallyns! 616 00:55:50,724 --> 00:55:52,314 Yeah. 617 00:55:53,184 --> 00:55:55,734 This lovely lady is the Grim Reaper. 618 00:55:55,979 --> 00:55:58,569 He brought us here when we challenged him and won. 619 00:55:58,773 --> 00:56:01,233 Now? OK. 620 00:56:01,651 --> 00:56:06,701 First of all, congratulations on Earth! It's a most excellent planet. 621 00:56:06,948 --> 00:56:11,788 And Bill and I enjoy it on a daily basis. - Yeah, not to mention your other great planets. 622 00:56:11,995 --> 00:56:15,495 Mars, Jupiter, Uranus. 623 00:56:18,418 --> 00:56:22,008 But the point is, okay, we died. 624 00:56:22,255 --> 00:56:24,665 Most unfairly. 625 00:56:25,300 --> 00:56:27,890 But we won the chance to come back. 626 00:56:28,136 --> 00:56:30,926 We need to construct something to help save the women we love. 627 00:56:31,139 --> 00:56:36,139 Yeah, and we don't got a lot of time. So we were wondering... 628 00:56:36,478 --> 00:56:39,898 ...could you maybe help us find somebody who can maybe help us build something? 629 00:56:40,690 --> 00:56:43,070 Station. 630 00:56:43,568 --> 00:56:46,198 Well, we were thinking along the lines... 631 00:56:46,363 --> 00:56:49,663 ...of maybe a scientist or something. 632 00:57:03,129 --> 00:57:04,509 Cool. 633 00:57:07,759 --> 00:57:09,549 Thanks, God. 634 00:57:09,886 --> 00:57:13,636 Yeah. You are a just and noble creator. 635 00:57:13,848 --> 00:57:15,428 OK, well... 636 00:57:15,642 --> 00:57:18,522 We'll be going now. - Yeah, keep up the good work. 637 00:57:18,770 --> 00:57:20,860 Catch you later, God. 638 00:57:31,199 --> 00:57:34,989 Sorry. They Melvined me. 639 00:57:40,834 --> 00:57:43,844 All right, upside-down cake! 640 00:57:44,045 --> 00:57:46,795 Hey, Evil Ted. - What? 641 00:57:52,095 --> 00:57:53,845 We're out of dishes. 642 00:57:55,348 --> 00:57:57,268 Check this out. 643 00:58:00,728 --> 00:58:02,518 Not bad, E.T. 644 00:58:05,442 --> 00:58:06,652 Let me try. 645 00:58:13,658 --> 00:58:16,118 You totally didn't see the fan. 646 00:58:21,249 --> 00:58:24,419 Tell my body to get over here and get me! 647 00:58:24,919 --> 00:58:27,799 That's all right. I'll get you. 648 00:58:29,466 --> 00:58:31,886 Got your head, dude. 649 00:58:34,679 --> 00:58:37,429 I'm totally gonna tackle you, dude. 650 00:58:40,768 --> 00:58:45,608 Touchdown for Evil Ted! - We're total headbangers. 651 00:58:48,860 --> 00:58:52,200 Come on. There you go. 652 00:58:58,161 --> 00:59:01,961 Stop wasting time. Proceed with the plan now. 653 00:59:02,248 --> 00:59:03,918 Okay, dude. 654 00:59:04,959 --> 00:59:08,299 What do you say we trash their relationships? 655 00:59:11,007 --> 00:59:12,507 I hate them. 656 00:59:12,759 --> 00:59:15,889 I hate the robot versions of them. 657 00:59:16,429 --> 00:59:18,309 You made us, dude. 658 00:59:24,687 --> 00:59:27,817 Well, looks like this is the place, dude. 659 00:59:28,149 --> 00:59:30,989 Now all we gotta do is find that scientist. 660 00:59:32,070 --> 00:59:35,620 What kind of name is Station, anyway? - I don't know. 661 00:59:35,865 --> 00:59:38,155 Must be some kind of future guy. 662 00:59:43,873 --> 00:59:45,833 Okay, how many syllables? 663 00:59:48,044 --> 00:59:50,304 Is it a play or a song or...? 664 00:59:52,549 --> 00:59:53,969 It's something big. 665 00:59:55,635 --> 00:59:57,845 My money's on Einstein. 666 01:00:00,598 --> 01:00:02,098 That's Station? 667 01:00:03,017 --> 01:00:06,307 Did you assume that the most brilliant scientist... 668 01:00:06,479 --> 01:00:10,319 ...in the entire universe would be from Earth? 669 01:00:11,401 --> 01:00:12,821 Yeah. 670 01:00:17,782 --> 01:00:19,412 Movies? 671 01:00:20,410 --> 01:00:22,750 Nine words. - Good, Mr. Franklin. 672 01:00:22,996 --> 01:00:25,286 Fire? Cigarettes? 673 01:00:25,540 --> 01:00:28,080 Clouds, clouds. - Smoke? 674 01:00:29,210 --> 01:00:32,460 Butch and Sundance: The Early Years. 675 01:00:38,428 --> 01:00:41,718 Death! - Sorry. 676 01:00:45,059 --> 01:00:48,059 Smokey and the Bandit III. 677 01:00:48,271 --> 01:00:51,151 Smokey is the bandit! 678 01:01:00,533 --> 01:01:03,373 Excuse us. Martians? 679 01:01:04,078 --> 01:01:07,368 First, my friend Bill and I would like to congratulate you... 680 01:01:07,624 --> 01:01:10,634 ...on a most well-played round of charades. 681 01:01:10,918 --> 01:01:13,088 Secondly, you've been referred to Ted and me... 682 01:01:13,379 --> 01:01:17,179 ...as the most brilliant scientists in the whole universe. 683 01:01:17,383 --> 01:01:21,803 So, how would you like to come to Earth with us and help us build good robot usses... 684 01:01:22,055 --> 01:01:25,885 ...to save two beautiful princesses from bad robot usses? 685 01:01:35,360 --> 01:01:37,110 Sounds good, Station. 686 01:01:37,320 --> 01:01:39,110 Let's go. 687 01:01:41,240 --> 01:01:42,490 Let's rock, Death. 688 01:01:56,881 --> 01:02:00,721 Whoa! 689 01:02:08,768 --> 01:02:09,768 Ted? 690 01:02:11,479 --> 01:02:14,229 We're alive. - Yeah. 691 01:02:14,440 --> 01:02:18,950 But I think a buzzard was pecking at my head. 692 01:02:24,659 --> 01:02:27,079 Dinner's over, worm-dude. 693 01:02:30,790 --> 01:02:32,540 You guys okay? 694 01:02:34,085 --> 01:02:35,875 Where's Death? 695 01:02:45,054 --> 01:02:46,394 You okay, dude? 696 01:02:50,226 --> 01:02:52,186 I'm fine. 697 01:02:57,775 --> 01:03:02,655 OK. First on the agenda, we go back to town and we clean up. 698 01:03:02,905 --> 01:03:05,195 Second, call the princesses and warn 'em. 699 01:03:05,408 --> 01:03:09,288 Third, we purchase stuff to build good robot usses. 700 01:03:10,204 --> 01:03:12,714 OK. Let's go! 701 01:03:16,043 --> 01:03:18,133 What? What? 702 01:03:32,977 --> 01:03:36,437 Here, kitty, kitty! Here, kitty, kitty! 703 01:03:36,731 --> 01:03:38,401 There's one, dude! 704 01:03:40,318 --> 01:03:42,198 Just missed, dude. 705 01:03:43,070 --> 01:03:45,360 Dude, we're there. 706 01:03:45,573 --> 01:03:47,283 Okay. I got an idea. 707 01:04:07,386 --> 01:04:11,016 Whoa. How's it going, lady humans? 708 01:04:39,794 --> 01:04:42,804 Okay, Stations, this is the Builders Emporium... 709 01:04:43,047 --> 01:04:46,927 ...a repository for earthly electronics and robot-building materials. 710 01:04:47,176 --> 01:04:51,506 Get what you need to make metal usses, understand? OK. 711 01:04:54,475 --> 01:04:58,645 Ready for the big night, babes? - No! We're not going. 712 01:05:01,399 --> 01:05:04,439 I think you guys should stop right there. 713 01:05:05,570 --> 01:05:07,950 Catch you later, future wife. 714 01:05:10,074 --> 01:05:11,914 Whoa! Evil breath! 715 01:05:12,243 --> 01:05:13,243 Who are you two? 716 01:05:13,452 --> 01:05:15,542 Well, you see... 717 01:05:27,633 --> 01:05:28,933 Come on. 718 01:05:30,887 --> 01:05:34,557 Any luck? - No. They're not at our place or at theirs. 719 01:05:34,807 --> 01:05:39,227 I'm gonna try your dad's place. Maybe they went to talk to Missy. 720 01:05:48,321 --> 01:05:49,741 Hello. Logan residence. 721 01:05:50,031 --> 01:05:53,331 Evil Bill S. Preston, Esquire, speaking. 722 01:05:55,912 --> 01:05:59,252 It's them! They're back from the dead. - Oh. 723 01:05:59,498 --> 01:06:01,668 I guess we get to kill them again. 724 01:06:01,959 --> 01:06:03,129 Excellent! 725 01:06:19,060 --> 01:06:21,440 See you real soon. 726 01:06:22,813 --> 01:06:24,023 Oh yeah? 727 01:06:24,815 --> 01:06:28,525 Yeah, but this time we're ready for you! - Yeah! 728 01:06:32,239 --> 01:06:34,659 I think we can be ready for them, too. 729 01:06:34,951 --> 01:06:37,951 Good luck getting to the concert, losers! 730 01:06:44,627 --> 01:06:48,257 - Initiate the final plan, now! - You got it, great one. 731 01:06:49,924 --> 01:06:52,344 Do not fail me. 732 01:06:53,386 --> 01:06:54,926 Metallic buffoons. 733 01:07:01,018 --> 01:07:04,188 That other me is a dick. - Yeah. 734 01:07:06,315 --> 01:07:08,065 I hope the Stations know what they're doing. 735 01:07:08,275 --> 01:07:09,565 Huh? 736 01:07:28,754 --> 01:07:31,174 Station! What are you doing? 737 01:07:33,384 --> 01:07:37,144 Dudes! This is no time to be playing games! 738 01:08:11,964 --> 01:08:14,684 Station. 739 01:08:15,634 --> 01:08:16,934 Station! - Station! 740 01:09:54,358 --> 01:09:55,568 Whoa! 741 01:09:57,278 --> 01:09:58,898 That one's me, right? 742 01:09:59,071 --> 01:10:00,741 Station. 743 01:10:02,575 --> 01:10:04,365 Not bad. 744 01:10:04,660 --> 01:10:07,200 How's it going, Good Robot Bill? 745 01:10:08,080 --> 01:10:09,870 How's it doing? 746 01:10:21,886 --> 01:10:24,426 Kate Axelrod for KJM Channel 12... 747 01:10:24,638 --> 01:10:27,808 ...reporting live from the San Dimas Civic Auditorium. 748 01:10:28,058 --> 01:10:31,188 We're rocking at the 4th Annual Battle of the Bands. 749 01:10:31,437 --> 01:10:34,817 So stay tuned and hold tight until we find out... 750 01:10:35,107 --> 01:10:38,277 ...who will be your winner. 751 01:10:48,370 --> 01:10:49,750 You guys ready? You're up. 752 01:10:49,997 --> 01:10:51,327 Where are the girls? 753 01:10:51,540 --> 01:10:55,880 Oh, they're hanging from the rafters. - Yeah, we're gonna kill them at the finale. 754 01:10:56,795 --> 01:10:58,755 Good luck, gentlemen. 755 01:11:04,762 --> 01:11:06,932 Bill, check it out. 756 01:11:07,514 --> 01:11:08,854 Whoa! 757 01:11:09,058 --> 01:11:10,428 Not bad. 758 01:11:36,085 --> 01:11:39,585 Let's hear it for Primus! Yeah! 759 01:12:16,000 --> 01:12:19,630 Station, are they ready? - Station. 760 01:12:19,878 --> 01:12:21,708 Excellent work, dude. 761 01:12:21,880 --> 01:12:25,930 What about me? I made the wigs. - Okay, Death. 762 01:12:26,218 --> 01:12:29,638 I helped do the shopping. I was pushing the cart. 763 01:12:29,638 --> 01:12:32,928 Do these work like we asked? - Station. 764 01:12:34,351 --> 01:12:35,521 Whoa! 765 01:12:36,437 --> 01:12:39,477 You are a most excellent scientist, Station. 766 01:12:40,232 --> 01:12:43,782 Plus, you got an excellently huge Martian butt. 767 01:12:44,403 --> 01:12:45,993 Station! 768 01:12:49,366 --> 01:12:52,866 Please feel free to split in two parts again and relax. 769 01:12:53,120 --> 01:12:57,370 Don't overlook my butt. I work out all the time. 770 01:12:57,624 --> 01:13:00,634 And reaping burns a lot of calories. 771 01:13:03,756 --> 01:13:10,096 OK, you two dudes ready to take on those evil usses and save the babes? 772 01:13:11,847 --> 01:13:15,767 Fight evil usses. Save the babes. 773 01:13:16,018 --> 01:13:18,728 Ready, Bill? - Ready, Ted. 774 01:13:20,064 --> 01:13:21,904 Let's go get 'em. 775 01:13:22,149 --> 01:13:24,859 And now, the last band of the evening. 776 01:13:25,110 --> 01:13:27,860 Wyld Stallyns! 777 01:13:38,540 --> 01:13:40,880 How's it going, worms? 778 01:13:41,418 --> 01:13:44,088 I'm Bill S. Preston, Esquire! 779 01:13:44,380 --> 01:13:46,970 And I'm Ted "Theodore" Logan! 780 01:13:47,257 --> 01:13:51,927 Together, we are Wyld Stallyns! 781 01:13:53,555 --> 01:13:55,635 Hold it right there! 782 01:13:58,769 --> 01:14:01,019 We're Wyld Stallyns! 783 01:14:01,313 --> 01:14:05,153 No, dudes. We're Wyld Stallyns! 784 01:14:07,820 --> 01:14:11,870 You totally killed us, you evil metal dickweeds! 785 01:14:12,157 --> 01:14:14,657 Yeah, and we're fully gonna do it again! 786 01:14:14,910 --> 01:14:18,710 Plus, we're gonna totally kill your girlfriends, too. 787 01:14:26,839 --> 01:14:30,219 Don't worry, babes! We'll save you. 788 01:14:32,928 --> 01:14:36,428 Everybody, say hello to Station's creation! 789 01:14:36,765 --> 01:14:39,685 Good Robot Bill and Ted! 790 01:14:52,239 --> 01:14:55,159 Dude, we may have met our match. 791 01:14:55,576 --> 01:14:58,576 Kudos to you, good human usses. 792 01:15:00,497 --> 01:15:04,877 Catch you later, Bill and Ted! - Catch you later, Bill and Ted! 793 01:15:28,442 --> 01:15:30,692 Whoa! 794 01:15:41,330 --> 01:15:43,500 Elizabeth! - Theodore! 795 01:15:44,082 --> 01:15:46,882 Joanna! - William! 796 01:15:59,973 --> 01:16:01,733 Who is that? 797 01:16:19,409 --> 01:16:20,409 Who are you? 798 01:16:21,620 --> 01:16:22,830 Who am I? 799 01:16:30,254 --> 01:16:32,924 I am De Nomolos. 800 01:16:34,007 --> 01:16:35,927 I am their master. 801 01:16:37,553 --> 01:16:40,933 And I must see to it that you die. 802 01:16:42,349 --> 01:16:43,139 What? 803 01:16:43,725 --> 01:16:45,385 But first... 804 01:17:10,794 --> 01:17:15,844 We are now transmitting on every television channel throughout the world. 805 01:17:16,383 --> 01:17:18,223 My word! 806 01:17:22,806 --> 01:17:25,976 I want the whole universe to behold this... 807 01:17:26,226 --> 01:17:28,476 ...transfer of power. 808 01:17:30,314 --> 01:17:33,364 No longer will our future society... 809 01:17:33,609 --> 01:17:36,739 ...be based on the ideas and the music... 810 01:17:36,987 --> 01:17:38,777 ...of these two fools! 811 01:17:42,075 --> 01:17:45,035 They will be based on my ideas... 812 01:17:46,997 --> 01:17:49,417 ...and my ideas alone! 813 01:17:50,834 --> 01:17:53,594 Dude, how do we get out of this? We don't got any time. 814 01:17:53,795 --> 01:17:57,415 Yeah we do, dude. Look, after we get away from this guy, we use the booth... 815 01:17:57,633 --> 01:18:02,053 ...we time-travel back to before the concert and set up the things we need to get him now. 816 01:18:02,262 --> 01:18:04,312 Whoa, yeah, like what? 817 01:18:04,514 --> 01:18:07,434 Like, uh... like a sandbag. 818 01:18:13,690 --> 01:18:15,030 Excellent! 819 01:18:15,233 --> 01:18:16,153 Then we'll get a cage. 820 01:18:24,868 --> 01:18:26,368 My friends. 821 01:18:27,079 --> 01:18:29,459 I, too, can play the time game. 822 01:18:29,706 --> 01:18:32,916 If you do that, once I have vanquished you... 823 01:18:33,210 --> 01:18:37,260 ...I will go back and set up this key. 824 01:18:47,766 --> 01:18:50,436 And another gun. 825 01:19:00,278 --> 01:19:03,368 Right, dude. Only there's one thing you didn't think of. 826 01:19:03,573 --> 01:19:06,953 Yeah. Only the winners are gonna be able to go back and set things up. 827 01:19:07,160 --> 01:19:09,790 Yeah. And that's gonna be us, dude. 828 01:19:09,996 --> 01:19:12,916 We set up the key, and we set up the gun. 829 01:19:16,628 --> 01:19:18,548 Excuse me. 830 01:19:18,797 --> 01:19:21,337 Your shoelaces are untied. - What? 831 01:19:27,556 --> 01:19:29,806 Melvined. 832 01:19:43,822 --> 01:19:45,372 You're under arrest, pal. 833 01:19:45,532 --> 01:19:47,282 Way to go, Dad! 834 01:19:52,080 --> 01:19:53,920 Book him, Danno. 835 01:20:00,964 --> 01:20:02,594 Good job, Death. 836 01:20:07,888 --> 01:20:09,558 Who was that guy? 837 01:20:09,806 --> 01:20:12,926 Perhaps I can answer that question, gentlemen. 838 01:20:13,268 --> 01:20:15,308 Ms. Wardroe, thanks for the help. 839 01:20:15,520 --> 01:20:18,190 Yeah. You know, we definitely... 840 01:20:18,982 --> 01:20:20,982 Take it off, baby! 841 01:20:29,534 --> 01:20:31,044 Rufus! 842 01:20:31,244 --> 01:20:32,504 How long you been here, dude? 843 01:20:32,954 --> 01:20:35,084 Got here just in time for your audition, William. 844 01:20:35,457 --> 01:20:38,747 So you were Ms. Wardroe all along. 845 01:20:38,960 --> 01:20:42,630 Hey. Would anyone else have let you in this contest? 846 01:20:43,423 --> 01:20:44,593 No. 847 01:20:45,133 --> 01:20:49,893 Now, amigos, that was Mr. Chuck De Nomolos, my old gym teacher. 848 01:20:50,138 --> 01:20:54,598 And, by the way, sit-up champion of the 27th century. 849 01:20:54,810 --> 01:20:59,360 And now, gentlemen, I believe the stage belongs to you. 850 01:20:59,523 --> 01:21:00,903 Thanks, Rufus. 851 01:21:14,079 --> 01:21:16,619 Dude, we still don't know how to play. 852 01:21:17,165 --> 01:21:19,285 Maybe we ought to get good, Ted. 853 01:21:19,584 --> 01:21:20,754 How? 854 01:21:43,066 --> 01:21:46,896 That was a fast 16 months of intensive guitar training, dude. 855 01:21:47,070 --> 01:21:51,620 Yeah, except for that two-week medieval honeymoon. 856 01:21:53,660 --> 01:21:56,040 Hello, San Dimas! 857 01:21:56,246 --> 01:21:57,156 Hello! 858 01:21:57,372 --> 01:21:59,672 Want to introduce you to a little friend of mine. 859 01:22:00,000 --> 01:22:01,630 This is little Ted. 860 01:22:02,252 --> 01:22:04,592 Hello, little Ted! 861 01:22:04,838 --> 01:22:06,718 This is little Bill. 862 01:22:06,923 --> 01:22:08,723 Hello, little Bill! 863 01:22:10,260 --> 01:22:14,640 Now for the rest of our band. Ted? 864 01:22:16,683 --> 01:22:21,443 On conga and bongos, proof positive that you can't tell a book by its cover... 865 01:22:21,730 --> 01:22:24,360 ...the dude who can make one word mean anything... 866 01:22:24,649 --> 01:22:26,529 ...Station! 867 01:22:31,656 --> 01:22:33,156 Our backup dancers... 868 01:22:33,408 --> 01:22:36,078 ...Station's most bodacious creations... 869 01:22:36,286 --> 01:22:38,996 ...the Good Robot Usses! 870 01:22:45,420 --> 01:22:46,550 And over here... 871 01:22:46,838 --> 01:22:49,718 ...our bass player, the Duke of Spooks... 872 01:22:50,008 --> 01:22:52,678 ...the Doc of Shocks, the Man With No Tan... 873 01:22:52,928 --> 01:22:55,758 ...please say hello to Death himself... 874 01:22:56,056 --> 01:22:58,056 ...the Grim Reaper! 875 01:23:05,649 --> 01:23:08,279 You might be a king Or a little street sweeper 876 01:23:08,485 --> 01:23:11,855 But sooner or later You dance with the Reaper 877 01:23:16,785 --> 01:23:19,325 Get down with your bad self! 878 01:23:25,919 --> 01:23:29,589 I love show business. 879 01:23:29,798 --> 01:23:31,588 Ladies and gentlemen... 880 01:23:32,258 --> 01:23:34,298 ...we've been to the past. 881 01:23:34,678 --> 01:23:36,508 We've been to the future. 882 01:23:36,930 --> 01:23:39,310 We've been all around the afterlife. 883 01:23:39,933 --> 01:23:42,733 And you know... Ted? 884 01:23:43,478 --> 01:23:45,438 The best place to be... 885 01:23:48,400 --> 01:23:49,780 ...is here. 886 01:23:50,819 --> 01:23:52,739 And the best time to be... 887 01:23:53,279 --> 01:23:54,699 ...is now. 888 01:24:00,578 --> 01:24:03,208 And all's we can say is... 889 01:24:05,208 --> 01:24:06,418 ...let's rock! 890 01:24:07,669 --> 01:24:09,209 One! Two! 891 01:24:09,462 --> 01:24:12,172 One, two, three, four! 892 01:25:36,633 --> 01:25:39,393 Right good! Right good! 893 01:27:46,846 --> 01:27:47,806 Stallyns One... 894 01:27:47,972 --> 01:27:51,562 Stallyns One, you are clear to leave... 895 01:27:52,227 --> 01:27:53,517 Drums... 896 01:27:53,728 --> 01:27:55,518 - Ten... nine... - Keyboards... 897 01:27:55,730 --> 01:27:56,980 - ...eight... - Affirmative. 898 01:27:57,190 --> 01:27:59,280 Ignition sequence start. Engines on. 899 01:27:59,484 --> 01:28:02,204 - ...five... four... three... two... - That's a check. 900 01:28:02,403 --> 01:28:04,203 - ...one. - Good luck boys. 901 01:28:11,996 --> 01:28:13,916 You are go, Stallyns One! 902 01:28:14,958 --> 01:28:17,248 Come home soon. We'll miss you.