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Encoded by PRiSTiNE.
Support us by visiting P2PDL.com...
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♫ 2 LIVE CREW: "ME SO HORNY"
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♪ Oh, sock it to me!
Ooh! ♪
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♪ Oh
Me so horny ♪
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♪ Me love you long time ♪
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♪ Me so horny
Me so, me so horny ♪
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♪ Me so horny
Me love you long time ♪
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♪ Sittin' at home
With my dick on hard ♪
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♪ So I got the black book
For a freak to call ♪
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♪ Picked up the telephone
Then dialed the 7 digits ♪
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♪ Said, "Yo, this Marquis, baby
Are you down with it?"♪
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♪ I arrived at her house
Knocked on the door ♪
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♪ Not having no idea
Of what the night had in store ♪
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♪ I'm like a dog in heat
A freak without warning ♪
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♪ I have an appetite for sex
'Cause me so horny ♪
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♪ Oh
Me so horny ♪
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♪ Me love you long time ♪
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♪ Oh
Me so horny ♪
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♪ Oh
Me so, me so horny ♪
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♪ Oh
Me so horny ♪
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♪ Me love you long time ♪
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♪ It's true you were a virgin
Until you met me ♪
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♪ I was the first to make you hot
And wetty-wetty ♪
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♪ You tell your parents
That we're goin' out ♪
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♪ Never to the movies
Just straight to my house ♪
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♪ You said it yourself
You like it like I do ♪
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♪ Put your lips on my dick
And suck my asshole too ♪
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♪ I'm a freak in heat
A dog without warning ♪
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♪ My appetite is sex
'Cause me so horny ♪
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♪ Oh
Me so horny ♪
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♪ Me love you long time ♪
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♪ Oh
Me so horny ♪
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♪ Oh
Me so, me so horny ♪
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♪ It's like that man they call
Georgie Puddin' Pie ♪
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♪ I fuck all the girls
And I make 'em cry ♪
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♪ I'm like a dog in heat
A freak without warning ♪
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♪ I have an appetite for sex
'Cause me so horny ♪
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♪ Oh
Me so horny ♪
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♪ Me love you long time ♪
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♪ Fuckie suckie ♪
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♪ Me fuckie suckie ♪
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Thank you, Grace,
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for that lovely a cappella version
of the National Anthem.
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Please welcome to the stage a student
who needs no introduction,
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however, she did write one
for me to read to you. Ahem.
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"Today's keynote speaker holds the highest GPA
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in the history of Merriwether High.
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As president of Mathletes, Key Club
treasurer, editor of the school paper
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as well as her own self-published
magazine Womyn With a Y,
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please put your hands together, oh,
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but remain seated so those behind you can see,
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this year's Valedictorian,
Brandy Klark."
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Go, Pancake.
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Please be quiet.
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Our First Lady, Hillary Rodham Clinton, once said:
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"You cannot be both young and wise."
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I say, let's prove her wrong.
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Get off the stage, virgin.
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What a loser.
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Thank you. That's great.
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Nice speech, spaz. What, you have
like a death wish or something?
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Good chime-in.
No, I don't have a death wish.
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- Amber, be nice to your sister.
- Hey, Brandy. Brandy.
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Hey, Brandy.
Hey, Cameron.
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Killer speech. Really inspirational.
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Your hair smells good.
What is it, lavender?
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Who is this? Who are you?
Oh, hi. Cameron Mitchell, sir.
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George, it's Cameron.
Brandy's science lab partner.
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AP Chemistry partner.
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He is?
Yes.
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Dad.
What?
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It's Cameron.
Okay.
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Can I talk to you for a second, please?
Yeah.
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Um... So it was really rad
studying with you this year.
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I'm so psyched that we'll be
working together at the pool.
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Oh, me too.
And we're going to Georgetown together.
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I mean, you got a full ride,
I got a partial, but whatever.
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I think that fate is trying to tell us something.
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Barf. Two nerds in love.
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Shut up.
Our relationship is strictly professional.
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We're just friends. God, I hate you.
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So sorry, Cameron.
No, that's okay.
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You were saying-Uh...
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I was just saying that I think that...
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I wanted just to give you this.
Oh, thanks. Socks.
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Actually, those are slippers,
and they're for your dorm room--
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We did it.
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Oh, my God.
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The slutty Oompa Loompas.
Honey.
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Can we get out of this family fuck-fest
and go to a party?
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Hey, Judge.
Hi, Mrs. Klark.
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♫ SPIN DOCTORS: "TWO PRINCES"
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Hey, go fuck yourself.
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Dude, you don't give the chick you're crushing on socks.
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They're slippers, actually.
Oh, whatever, man.
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You give her girly shit, like perfume or a scrunchie.
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Brandy is not a girlie girl.
She's hard to read.
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Sometimes I think she likes me,
sometimes I think she's a robot.
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Oh, I knew it. She's a lesbo.
She's not a lesbo.
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Oh, shit. Just got a page. Let's jet.
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You don't really think she's a lesbo?
I kind of do.
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I have to register, contact my
dorm mate, label my clothes--
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And see Beaches. I got it on VHS.
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We have to have a special sleepover
to watch it before we leave, okay?
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- Special sleepover?
- Yes.
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God, you're so weird.
Okay, Wendy, "Watch Beaches."
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I'll put it on the list.
Thank you.
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Save money for computer.
That'll take forever. Buy shower shoes.
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You know how much bacteria is in communal showers?
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If you don't bring your own shoes--
God, stop. Put it away.
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Put it away. All right?
You're being a buzz kill.
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Okay. Guess it can wait.
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I am excited for the all-night
graduation party.
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Those Mormons have some great activities planned.
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And I think it's the perfect alternative
to Derrick Bergwill's stupid kegger.
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I mean, who needs alcohol when there's a hypnotist?
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Fiona, you missed the turn.
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Hey, seriously,
you missed the turn. Hey.
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What the H-E-double hockey sticks.
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Told you she'd freak. She almost swore.
Better turn around, Fiona.
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There is no way I am turning this car around.
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Pancake, I'm taking you to a real party.
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Booyah. Class of '93, fucktards.
Whoo!
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Drink, drink, drink, drink!
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Drink, drink, drink, drink!
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- You guys suck.
- Dicks.
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Hey. Ha, ha.
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I'm out of here.
Let's get our drink on.
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Excuse me.
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Fiona, my dad is a judge.
He'd be so disappointed.
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You know, Brandy, in Europe there's no drinking age.
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Parents give their babies wine and shit.
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Twenty-one is, like,
such an arbitrary age, because it's, like,
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you can go to war and die,
but you can't have a little drink now?
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Look, you know I hate hypocritical laws,
but, Fiona, you are driving.
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Okay, okay, okay.
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I'm throwing this out.
No.
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♪ Pour some sugar on me
In the name of love ♪
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Who is that?
That is Rusty Waters.
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♪ Pour your sugar on me
Can't get enough ♪
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♪ You got the peaches
I got the cream ♪
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♪ Sweet to taste, saccharine ♪
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♪ 'Cause I'm hot
Hot, so hot ♪
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♪ Sticky sweet
From my head to my feet ♪
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♪ Do you take sugar?
One lump or two? ♪
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♪ Now take a bottle
Now shake it up ♪
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♪ Break the bubble
Break it up ♪
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♪ Pour some sugar on me ♪
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♪ Come on, fire me up
Pour your sugar on me ♪
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♪ I can't get enough
Pour some sugar on me ♪
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♪ In the name of love ♪
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We can stay.
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Chug, chug, chug, chug!
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Chug, chug, chug, Chug!
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Yes.
Here's to pussy.
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Oh, God. What is that?
That's disgusting.
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Peach schnapps. The only thing my dad
wouldn't miss from the liquor cabinet.
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I'm sticking to beer.
I'll stick to schnapps.
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I can't feel my legs.
You're like after-school-special drunk.
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Beer should be a food group.
Am I right?
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Uh-huh.
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I like being on the top bunk.
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- If you fart, I'll kill you.
- Ladies don't fart.
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- Don't-- Ew.
- Except this one.
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- Sleep well, drunkie.
- I love you.
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I love you too.
We love you.
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Whoo!
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We're gonna go party now. Bye.
I've made it to the top.
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Guys are gone? It's all good.
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Let's play a game. I hide, you seek.
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Here's a hint, I'll be in bed.
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Hey, who are you?
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I know you are, but what am I?
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♪ Wake up, girl ♪
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♪ Wanna get a message to you ♪ ♪
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Oh, I should do this more often.
Getting drunk is fun.
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Oh, yeah? It's about to get
a whole lot funner.
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You mean, more fun.
"Funner" is not a word.
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♪ Met her in my dreams
She was my queen ♪
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Ooh...
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♪ Rivers and streams ♪
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You feel like Marky Mark looks.
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Oh, yeah?
How about some good vibrations?
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You ready for some more?
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Yeah. As long as you don't
have oral herpes.
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Wait.
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Who the fuck are you?
Brandy Klark, Valedictorian.
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Yeah, you're not who I was looking for.
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Nice to meet you.
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Why am I so stupid?
What was I thinking?
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00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:13,249
That it tastes better on the way down
than it does coming up? Jesus.
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Your vomit's the color of Kermit the Frog.
Why did I say that?
192
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:20,010
Why didn't I just keep kissing him back?
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00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:22,931
Excuse me?
Who the fuck did you kiss?
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00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:26,923
Whom.
Whom the fuck did you kiss, Brandy?
195
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,203
Whom the fuck did you kiss, Brandy?
Brandy.
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00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:33,443
Whom the fuck did you kiss?
Rusty Waters.
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00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:36,570
What? No.
Shut up.
198
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:40,441
Are you serious?
I've never felt that way before.
199
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,967
What, horny?
Yeah, welcome to puberty, man.
200
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,531
No.
201
00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:49,325
Like nervous.
Like I didn't know what to do.
202
00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:51,488
I always know what to do. Always.
203
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:54,803
So you're saying that you kissed Rusty Waters...
204
00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:58,567
but you didn't put out?
Are you crazy?
205
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:00,609
Or a lesbian.
No.
206
00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:04,481
I wanted to put it out.
I didn't know how.
207
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:08,406
What do you mean you didn't know how?
He kisses you, you just kiss him back.
208
00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:10,130
I mean, it's not that hard.
209
00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:14,080
Unless you're good at it,
and then it is hard. Do you get it?
210
00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:16,163
Wendy.
I mean his dick.
211
00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:18,882
Guys, this is serious.
212
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:22,203
The last time I Frenched
was with Jason Swan in ninth grade.
213
00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:26,126
We had to end our relationship because
it interfered with student-council duties.
214
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:29,011
You could've gone all the way
if you didn't lose your shit.
215
00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,766
Can you imagine losing your V card to a college guy?
216
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:34,526
No premature ejaculation.
He'd hit your G spot.
217
00:12:34,680 --> 00:12:37,889
Yeah, you'd probably come like three times.
218
00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:41,044
Come where?
219
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:44,527
Really? That's a" Orgasm.
220
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:47,524
You think if I'd been ready
and wanted to and not so drunk,
221
00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:50,206
had protection and maybe a cute bra,
we could've--?
222
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:51,805
Fucked?
223
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:55,205
Yeah. Totally.
224
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:57,203
You blew, like, a major opportunity.
225
00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:00,523
I mean, there's nothing wrong
with being a late bloomer, Pancake,
226
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:04,651
but let's face it, you're not getting any younger.
227
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:08,322
I kissed his nipple.
What?
228
00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:11,689
I think I sucked on it.
229
00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:14,850
That's okay.
But I don't know why.
230
00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:37,081
Hey, could you get me a coffee?
231
00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:39,563
Ugh. You smell like patchouli.
232
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:46,011
Good morning. Why is Chip
shaving his legs in the bathroom?
233
00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:48,401
Because he mountain bikes, duh.
234
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:50,683
Chip spent the night, sweetheart.
235
00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:52,080
Chip did what?
236
00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:55,244
He spent the night.
He's going off on some big fishing trip.
237
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:59,041
They won't see each other all summer.
He's following Phish, as in the band.
238
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:01,601
You gave Amber permission to have a boy sleep over?
239
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:02,966
He's a man.
In her bed?
240
00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:06,841
Not a boy, it's her fiance. Where else
am I gonna have him sleep, on the couch?
241
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:10,402
Why the heck not?
How was your little church party?
242
00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:15,481
I wouldn't know.
Fiona and Wendy took me to a kegger,
243
00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:18,610
I got drunk and puked my brains out.
244
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:22,203
You should probably ground me.
Mom, do we have ginger ale?
245
00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:24,283
Let me see, honey.
Dumb-ass.
246
00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:26,602
Are you still drunk?
Don't tell them that.
247
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:30,009
Brandy tells us everything.
Too much, if you ask me.
248
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,606
And we trust her to make the right decisions.
249
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:35,411
Or, at least, learn from her mistakes.
Right, honey?
250
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,409
You need to learn how to lie.
251
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:41,764
She does not need to lie.
In this house, honesty is the only policy.
252
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:43,803
- That's right.
- There you go, honey.
253
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:46,440
And we think this hangover is punishment enough.
254
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:49,080
You're not even grounding her?
Un-fucking believable.
255
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:51,169
- Hey!
- Language.
256
00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:09,645
Sorry I'm late. I experimented with alcohol
last night and puked on my way here.
257
00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:11,683
I had to stop for mouth wash.
258
00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:14,844
My name is--
Brandy Klark. Yeah, I remember.
259
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:21,211
Do you ever wear a shirt?
260
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,843
Very funny. Heh.
261
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:27,843
Man, last night was embarrassing.
262
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,965
You must think I'm some type of sex maniac or something,
263
00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:35,682
but I promise you, next time, I will ask
before I strip down and start kissing you.
264
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:38,690
Okay.
Anyway,
265
00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:41,207
I take it you're here for lifeguard orientation.
266
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:43,768
How did you know?
Tsk.
267
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:47,681
All right, then. Let's go meet the boss.
268
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:55,369
This is the pool manager?
Shh. He is sleeping.
269
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:58,088
Yeah, I can see that.
270
00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:00,527
Excuse me. Sir?
271
00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:02,364
Excuse me.
272
00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:05,205
Hello.
273
00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:07,211
Excuse me. Hi.
274
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:10,210
Rise and shine.
Shh. Shh.
275
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:13,244
This is... It's all happ--
It's all happening.
276
00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:17,246
It's a happy...
Excuse me. I think you're dreaming.
277
00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:21,485
Ow.
Please stop. Stop it. Please.
278
00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:26,251
Hi.
279
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,401
Hi. I'm Brandy.
Brandy Klark?
280
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:37,687
It's orientation.
She's a newbie. Cut her some slack.
281
00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:41,724
Cut me some slack?
Correct me if I'm wrong,
282
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:45,726
but I think we're here to work,
not hang out and get a suntan.
283
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:49,924
You guys.
Hair of the dog...
284
00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:53,368
I can't believe you're drinking that.
Do you know what time it is?
285
00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:59,642
No. I partied on Friday.
What day is it?
286
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:02,371
It's Monday.
Fucking A, man.
287
00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:04,488
All right, I better get to work.
288
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:06,687
Have at it,
289
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,365
newbie.
290
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,648
You expect me to clean up all that by myself?
291
00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:12,365
Yes.
I can help you.
292
00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:14,807
No, you won't.
293
00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:31,329
I was thinking the
colors for the wedding,
294
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:32,641
burnt sienna and turquoise.
295
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,962
Do they have burnt sienna flowers?
I don't know.
296
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,805
- Hi, sweetie. Dinner is waiting.
- Hi.
297
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:39,644
Sorry I'm late.
Hey, sweetie.
298
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:42,167
Good evening.
How was lifeguard orientation?
299
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:45,044
Humiliating.
Hmm.
300
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,328
My burn-out boss
decided to make fun of me
301
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:50,165
in front of this incredibly hot college guy.
302
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,402
Ah-ha. Shocker.
303
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:56,322
Mom, when exactly did you lose your virginity?
304
00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:58,960
On our wedding night.
Pass the potatoes, please.
305
00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:01,851
George.
The potatoes, Jean. Please?
306
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,002
Oh, honestly.
Thank you.
307
00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:07,330
Way to go, dumb-ass.
Shut the front door, Amber.
308
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:10,171
Shut the back door, Brandy.
Not the back door.
309
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:11,765
What? Not the back door.
310
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:14,730
There's doors we don't do.
The back door's one of them.
311
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:24,247
It's the'90s.
You'll have to get with the times.
312
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:27,529
Fine, we can get call waiting.
I'm not talking about call waiting.
313
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:30,081
I'm talking about Brandy.
314
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:34,131
She's clearly curious about sex.
I think I should talk to her.
315
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:37,170
No. No talk.
Your talks do more harm than good.
316
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:39,291
What's that supposed to mean?
317
00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:42,489
It means, you had a talk with Amber
and look how that turned out.
318
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:44,842
You put her on the pill when she was 15
319
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:48,288
and she's been dating,
pardon my French, jerks ever since.
320
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:52,724
And now she's gonna marry one.
You can't blame Chip on me.
321
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:56,202
Anyway, what do you expect, Brandy's
gonna wait till her wedding night?
322
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,722
It worked for you.
323
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:05,965
Let's see.
I lost my virginity when I was 15.
324
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:08,731
Fifteen?
No, actually 14, with Francois.
325
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:12,567
Our exchange student?
But he was so rude.
326
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:17,851
He always played his stereo too loud.
He never let me in his roo-- Touche.
327
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:21,766
He had a big dick. Yeah, Francois,
you know, sex wasn't that bad
328
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:23,922
but it didn't get good until sophomore year.
329
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:27,163
College, okay, that makes sense.
You're more mature--
330
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:31,769
High school. By then, the guys had cars.
We would park at Beaver Creek.
331
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,890
Do people still do that, go to Beaver Creek to fuck?
332
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:38,766
How would I know?
Oh, shit, right. Virgin. Ha, ha.
333
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:42,288
Man, it feels good to finally be smarter
at something than my kid sister.
334
00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:46,606
Loser. Seriously, you wanna pop
that cherry before you get to college.
335
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:48,125
Before? Why?
336
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:51,841
Okay, how can I put this in terms a Mathlete understands?
337
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:56,045
Yes, in terms a Mathlete understands.
I'm fucking trying, okay?
338
00:19:56,200 --> 00:20:01,570
Freshman year is like one big sexual pop quiz.
339
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:03,888
You need to do your homework.
Homework?
340
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:08,921
Yeah. God, it's crazy, freshman year.
I fucked my R.A. the first week.
341
00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:12,647
Wonder what she's up to.
It was a girl?
342
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:14,165
Yeah.
343
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:17,122
Oh, my God, I have a lot of work to do.
344
00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:21,086
♫ NAUGHTY BY NATURE: "O.P.P."
345
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:23,442
Let's do this.
346
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:27,611
♪ Army with harmony ♪
347
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:33,925
♪ Dave, drop a load on 'em ♪
348
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:38,969
Okay, Amber...
349
00:20:39,120 --> 00:20:40,963
♪ O.P. P.
How can I explain it ♪
350
00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:42,884
let's see what you got.
351
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:44,680
♪ O is for other ♪
352
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:48,242
Titty-- F-word.
353
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:51,160
"Motorboating."
354
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:54,325
Uncle Andy has a boat.
That should be easy.
355
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:58,525
♪ If the other party isn't gaming
It seems I gotta start the explaining ♪
356
00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:03,527
"Teabagging." Must be British.
357
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:05,808
♪ You get home, wait a day
She's what you wanna know about ♪
358
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,127
♪ Then you call up and it's her girlfriend
Or her cousin's house ♪
359
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:11,044
One who shocks."
360
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:12,565
Hmm.
361
00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:17,807
Maybe it's some kind of surprise.
"Hand job, blowjob, rim job."
362
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:21,607
Why so many jobs?
What's a rim job anyway?
363
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:25,529
Come on, rim job. Not listed.
364
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:28,041
Guess I will have to ask the librarian on that one.
365
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:34,128
♪ You down with OPP
Yeah, you know me ♪
366
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:41,448
And finally, sexual intercourse with Rusty Waters.
367
00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:44,441
♪ You down with OPP
Yeah, you know me ♪
368
00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:47,490
♪ Who's down with OPP?
Break it down ♪
369
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:51,565
Well, let's get to work, vagina.
370
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:56,891
Here you go.
Have a good day. Bye-bye.
371
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:02,209
Hello. Welcome to Big Bun.
May I help you?
372
00:22:02,360 --> 00:22:05,364
I decided to lose my virginity to Rusty Waters.
373
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,404
You want fries with that?
No.
374
00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:13,887
"Finger-banged, sixty-nine"?
"Titty fuck, blowjob."
375
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:17,886
I had no idea that you could be so--
Sophisticated?
376
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:22,728
Slutty. There are things on this list
that I haven't even done, Brandy.
377
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:24,524
This is awesome.
378
00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:27,126
So you're gonna scam on other guys
and then hook up with Rusty?
379
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:28,970
Mm-hm.
No offense, but how?
380
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:31,128
You said yourself he's out of your league.
381
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:33,203
I never said that.
I did.
382
00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:35,761
Okay, yes, he's out of my league now
383
00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:39,447
but not once I learn
how to pearl-necklace him.
384
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:43,687
Huh. Actually sounds really elegant.
It's not.
385
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:52,280
Anywho, I'm witty, engaging,
smart, well-read.
386
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:55,603
Once I add "sexually experienced"
to the package, he'll want me.
387
00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:57,967
Plus, you're an untouched virgin.
388
00:22:58,120 --> 00:23:00,566
Yeah. What guy's gonna say no
to a virgin, right?
389
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:03,200
Thank you.
That's just the encouragement I need.
390
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:11,403
Let us swim! Let us swim!
Let us swim! Let us swim!
391
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:17,488
Let us swim! Let us swim!
Let us swim! Let us swim!
392
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:22,929
- Cameron. Cameron.
- Whoa!
393
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:27,406
What was that about?
Pool rats.
394
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:29,927
Get here at dawn, don't leave till September.
395
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:34,130
We're cheap daycare for the neighborhood rats.
396
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:39,611
I'm sure it's not that bad.
Just you wait, newbie.
397
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:43,845
Let us swim! Let us swim! Let us swim!
398
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:47,482
Let us swim! Let us swim! Let us swim!
399
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:00,682
♪ And a poom-poom
Just shake ya rump ♪
400
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:02,842
♪ All I wanna do
Is zoom-a-zoom-zoom-zoom ♪
401
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:05,771
♪ And a poom-poom
Just shake ya rump ♪
402
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:07,849
♪ All I wanna do
Is zoom-a-zoom-zoom-zoom ♪
403
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,048
♪ And a poom-poom
Just shake ya rump ♪
404
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,362
♪ Check, baby, check
Baby, one two three four ♪
405
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:14,887
♪ Check, baby, check
Baby, one two three ♪
406
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,168
♪ Check, baby, check
Baby, one two ♪
407
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:18,560
♪ Check, baby, check
Baby, one ♪
408
00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:20,643
♪ It's called a rump shaker ♪
409
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:23,611
Hey. guys, get Off the-- Aah!
410
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:28,961
See you later, sucker.
Loser
411
00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:34,811
Tried to warn you, newbie.
Aah!
412
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:41,083
What the truck, Willy?
Welcome to the Thunderdome, bitch.
413
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:46,085
Settle down and give her a chance to catch her breath.
414
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:49,687
Hey, come here. You all right?
415
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:52,243
Come on.
416
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:02,405
Now you okay?
I am now.
417
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:03,761
Good.
418
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:10,087
Just a little hazing, newbie.
You're good.
419
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:12,481
Can't believe you didn't see that coming.
420
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:16,440
Hey, guys,
put those noodles down. Hey.
421
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:19,405
Ha-ha-ha. Who did that,
the bubbles in the whistle?
422
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,927
I haven't seen that in years.
That's funny.
423
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:24,449
♪ Darling, don't you go away ♪
424
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:26,125
Ow!
425
00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:30,251
Mayonnaise? In my sunscreen bottle?
Come on, guys, I'm not that pale.
426
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:31,930
You are a true doofus.
427
00:25:33,120 --> 00:25:34,929
She's so stupid.
428
00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:38,443
Poop! Poop! Poop!
Poop! Poop! Poop!
429
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:40,642
Newbie, poo patrol.
430
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:47,682
Ha, ha, ha. Very funny.
How very Caddyshack of you.
431
00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:52,645
What did she mean by Caddyshack?
Don't know.
432
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:55,121
It's not poop. It's not poop.
I'm getting hazed.
433
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:57,288
You know what that means?
434
00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:59,488
What is it, you guys, Baby Ruth?
435
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:03,960
Snickers? It's very convincing, Willy.
I'm impressed.
436
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:08,245
Oh, no. She's not gonna--
Dude, she's gonna.
437
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,481
Oh...
438
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:23,441
Get out of my way!
439
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:28,171
Oh, my God.
I've never seen that before.
440
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:31,290
That's not even on Faces of Death or any of that shit.
441
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:38,324
I fucking like this girl.
That was awesome, newbie.
442
00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:49,490
Both the boys and girls locker rooms are clean, okay?
443
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:51,529
It's not really fair you made me do both.
444
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:54,809
Yeah, well, life's not fair, newbie.
You got that right.
445
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:57,605
No!
446
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:01,206
Brandy, help--
Not falling for it.
447
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:22,851
You really don't know how to swim?
I hate the water.
448
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,890
What's wrong with you?
Don't tell anybody. I'll lose my job.
449
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:28,731
You should lose your job.
That is so irresponsible.
450
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:32,168
I'm gonna call the Parks Department.
Oh, no, no, no. Hey, hey.
451
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:35,403
Brandy? Let's not tell anybody.
Let's pretend it didn't happen.
452
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:38,850
You want me to lie?
My dad is a judge.
453
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:42,846
Shit, shit, shit. Look, I'll learn, okay?
I'll learn how to swim.
454
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,002
You know what?
Hey, you can teach me.
455
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:48,050
Seems like something you'd be into.
You're bossy and stuff.
456
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:51,363
You like to order people around.
Come on, okay? Please?
457
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:53,443
I can't lose my job, please.
458
00:27:56,760 --> 00:28:00,287
Fine, but I charge $6.25 an hour, cash.
459
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:02,647
Shit.
And no more hazing.
460
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:07,089
Okay, no more hazing, $6.25 an hour.
Hey, Brandy. Hey, deal.
461
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:10,285
Deal. Whoo!
462
00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:13,842
Okay, that's it, that's it. That's it.
Hey, come on.
463
00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:17,089
Hey. You're still gonna teach me
how to swim, right?
464
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:21,040
Brand? Where's your towel?
I need to dry off.
465
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:23,800
♪ Come on ♪
♪ Let's talk about sex, baby ♪
466
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:26,884
♪ Let's talk about you and me ♪
467
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,725
Okay, Pancake, you made that list like a week ago.
468
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:32,690
When are you gonna grow a pair and do something on it?
469
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:35,207
Lay off, Fiona.
Some people are just slow learners.
470
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:39,564
I'm not a slow learner. I got a five
on my advanced-placement tests.
471
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:41,324
Oh, right.
472
00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:45,326
And it just so happens, I plan on getting...
473
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:47,882
finger-banged tonight.
474
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:51,766
I think it's finger-blasted.
No, it's finger-bombed, bitches.
475
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:56,642
Okay, well, whatever it is, I'm going to do it tonight.
476
00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:59,084
All right.
477
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:02,960
Just how exactly do you know when to do it?
478
00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:05,726
You'll be like wet and stuff.
You'll be wet and stuff.
479
00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:08,326
Make sure to tell the guy
how wet you are. They love that.
480
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:10,448
The guy's gonna be doing most of the work.
481
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:12,642
Yeah, but most guys suck at it.
482
00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:14,689
When Ross Peterson tried to finger me,
483
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:16,683
it was like he was digging for loose change.
484
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:19,002
Like dimes between couch cushions.
485
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:20,571
♪ Let's talk about sex ♪
486
00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:22,688
Sounds terrible.
487
00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:27,451
Ohh. What's up, my bitches?
488
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:30,324
What happened to your fingers?
489
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:34,451
Burnt the shit out of them lighting off
some cherry bombs. It's gnarly, right?
490
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:38,286
Hey. Get in here.
491
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:41,365
Get it together, Klark.
492
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:45,241
Women get fingered every day.
It's not that big of a deal.
493
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:47,528
Come on.
494
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,120
What? You want some?
495
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:07,731
Yeah, I want some.
496
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:14,891
Oh! I'm such a goof.
497
00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:20,960
All over my shirt.
498
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:28,081
Sorry.
499
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:33,402
Did you just double wash?
Yeah.
500
00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:39,570
♫ MAZZY STAR: "FADE INTO YOU"
501
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:44,927
Ow. Wait, wait, wait.
What? What?
502
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:48,285
Oh, my God, do I have beer breath?
No.
503
00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:51,010
Just let me kiss you back.
504
00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:53,925
Right.
505
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:56,767
Yeah, I knew that.
506
00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:58,840
Sorry.
507
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:10,608
♪ I want to take a breath that's true ♪
508
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:23,489
I'm winning.
509
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:26,405
Do you think I should try and scam with Duffy?
510
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:28,369
No. Stop.
511
00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:32,610
It's just the wine coolers talking,
man. You can't hold your liquor.
512
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:35,487
But we have so much history.
513
00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:39,281
You guys dated for like a week in the eighth grade.
514
00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:44,446
I know, but I think I just never stopped loving him.
515
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:47,080
- Sega's my shit.
- I like your shirt.
516
00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:51,086
I love hypercolor on you.
So cool.
517
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:56,849
I'm so wet. Touch me.
518
00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:06,004
♪ I look to you to see the truth ♪
519
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:11,363
I said I'm wet. Finger me already.
520
00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:15,844
I will. Is it shorts or a skirt?
521
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:19,204
Neither, they're skorts.
522
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:23,206
Over or under?
523
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:28,329
Under.
You sure?
524
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:29,811
Yes.
525
00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:34,682
♪ Some kind of night
Into your darkness ♪
526
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:40,687
But I'm definitely not calling it a "blast."
527
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:44,851
Let's call it a "finger bomb,"
emphasis on the "bomb."
528
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:46,047
Well, how did it feel?
529
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:54,883
Kind of like an itch you can't scratch.
530
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:56,241
Mm-hm.
531
00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:05,370
Oh. Look, "How to find your G spot."
Hey, can I see that? Give it.
532
00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:07,569
Can you watch the pool for a minute?
533
00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:11,367
- Do you guys masturbate?
- No.
534
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:13,648
What?
That's gross.
535
00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:16,081
Really? You've never
touched yourself down there?
536
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:20,962
Well, maybe I straddled the couch.
Only when I can't sleep.
537
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:26,841
It says here that women should "flick
the bean" as much as the guys do.
538
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:30,047
"Forty percent of women never climax during sex
539
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:33,124
because the guy can't find their G spot."
This is a travesty.
540
00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:38,400
Ladies, we must take charge
of our own sexual gratification.
541
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:42,884
Ow! What the--?
Get away from me. Get away, perv.
542
00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:47,846
He put his finger up my ass.
I have to put "masturbate" on the list now.
543
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:17,802
I'm not a quitter. I am not a quitter.
544
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:20,770
Come on, Klark. Come on.
545
00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:26,441
UVA protection.
That's right.
546
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:28,602
UVP protection.
Yes.
547
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:30,888
Hypoallergenic.
It better be.
548
00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:33,042
Waterproof.
Oh, God.
549
00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:35,089
Non-greasy formula.
Yes.
550
00:34:35,240 --> 00:34:36,287
Soothing aloe vera.
551
00:34:37,720 --> 00:34:41,406
Yes! Aloe vera!
Yeah! Aloe vera! Yes!
552
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:49,766
Privacy, please.
Phone call, ass wipe.
553
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:52,048
Make it quick.
Chip's calling from Vegas.
554
00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:56,683
What, between lap dances?
Ha, ha. Phish is playing a show there.
555
00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:59,810
Were you humping a pillow?
None of your business.
556
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:02,209
Loser
557
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:10,807
Please be Rusty. Please be Rusty.
Please be Rusty.
558
00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:14,364
- This is Brandy.
- Hey, Brandy, it's Cameron.
559
00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:17,000
Oh, hi, Cameron.
I can't really talk right now.
560
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:20,846
My stupid sister is expecting
a phone call from her idiot boyfriend.
561
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:23,725
Uh-- Fiancé.
Correction, fiancé.
562
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:26,167
Get off the line, Amber.
Eat me.
563
00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:30,530
Hurry up, Cameron.
I was wondering if Brandy wanted to--
564
00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:34,480
I mean, if you, Brandy, wanted to go out on a date.
565
00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:41,569
- Sure. Why not?
- Why not?
566
00:35:41,720 --> 00:35:44,200
What kind of shit answer is that?
Be quiet, Amber.
567
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:46,328
Don't you have a dick to suck or something?
568
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:50,166
Several. Unlike you, fucktard.
Cluck you, Amber.
569
00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:53,244
Cluck? Say "fuck," you loser.
Get-- No!
570
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,209
- Don't touch me.
- Let go!
571
00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:57,089
Mom!
572
00:35:58,680 --> 00:35:59,966
Shut up--!
573
00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:08,048
Dude, what did she say?
574
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:14,129
Wait. Why we doing the dance?
Why we doing the dance?
575
00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:16,362
What happened?
The Cam-Cam dancing?
576
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:19,126
She said yes.
Well, technically, she said "why not."
577
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:23,291
But you know what, I asked her out on a
date, she said yes and it's a "date" date.
578
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:26,728
It's a motherfucking "date" date.
You're doing the "date-date" date!
579
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:28,685
- Gonna get his dick all wet.
- Ow!
580
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:31,366
What am I gonna wear?
Not that.
581
00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:35,206
Why? It's just Cameron.
It doesn't matter, Pancake, who it is.
582
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:37,601
You can't keep dressing like Tracey Gold.
583
00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:41,168
Do you wanna borrow my new vest?
Maybe.
584
00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:43,561
No. No. Look.
585
00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:47,722
I rummaged, ah,
586
00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:49,928
through my aunt's closet,
587
00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:53,169
and she's a divorcee, so she's really lonely.
588
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:56,608
But she dresses like she's 20, even though she's 30.
589
00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:58,888
Ugh.
Look, right?
590
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:03,807
Wow. I like that.
Mm-hm. Feel it. It's like half-silk.
591
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:07,806
So, what are you guys gonna do?
Oh. I was thinking dry hump.
592
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:10,201
Whoa. Ha, ha.
Oh, God, no.
593
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:12,408
She meant, where you guys gonna go?
594
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:14,961
Oh, we're going to the movies.
595
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:16,605
Forget dry hump.
596
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:19,923
Hand job.
All the way.
597
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:23,325
Hold on till I absorb some heat.
598
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:26,529
Some added tang might please you too.
599
00:37:26,720 --> 00:37:29,769
I'll slide into an oven-fresh bun
600
00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:33,003
and I'm ready for your eating fun.
601
00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:36,562
Why don't you try
a juicy-good hot dog?
602
00:37:36,720 --> 00:37:38,882
Mm. Delicious.
603
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:49,366
What are you doing?
What do you think?
604
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:51,884
Smoking is not
permitted in this auditorium.
605
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:56,847
Oh. Ooh. Aah.
606
00:37:57,040 --> 00:37:58,804
Shh!
My bad.
607
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:02,888
How am I doing?
You're doing really good.
608
00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:06,203
I thought so.
I felt some pre-cum.
609
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:09,330
I was worried I was gonna have to spit on my hand
610
00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:12,086
but you seem to be progressing quite nicely.
611
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:17,806
No gum-chewing.
No necking and no talking.
612
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:20,566
Why'd you stop? What?
613
00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:26,167
Excuse me.
614
00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:45,931
Chip, you're in deep shit.
It's been two weeks.
615
00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:48,970
Is Mom home? It's a medical emergency.
No. Bye.
616
00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:50,361
Wait.
What?
617
00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:53,683
I need your expertise.
618
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:57,090
I'm listening.
619
00:38:57,760 --> 00:38:59,000
Okay.
620
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:03,250
So I'm giving a guy a hand job--
Now? Gross. Get off the phone.
621
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:05,761
No, not "now" now.
He's in the theater.
622
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:08,082
You left him?
You're gonna give him blue balls.
623
00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:10,203
You'll make him sterile. Finish him off.
624
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:13,364
Ship. But I don't know how.
625
00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:16,842
There's a weird extra skin.
Doesn't look like it did in health class.
626
00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:20,601
What? He's not circumcised?
What are his parents, like hippies?
627
00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:24,003
I don't know. Will you just help me?
All right. Calm down.
628
00:39:24,240 --> 00:39:26,811
This is what you do with the pig in the blanket.
629
00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:37,646
Everything okay?
630
00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:39,370
Did I do something wrong?
No.
631
00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:41,050
Are you sure?
632
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:51,491
Is that butter? Oh!
Uh-huh.
633
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:56,809
Do something.
634
00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:03,003
Do you want me to touch you?
No.
635
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:08,003
Oh. Oh.
636
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:12,001
I paid $5 for this. Okay?
They're ruining it.
637
00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:21,682
- I love you!
- Aah!
638
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:25,083
Shh!
Sorry.
639
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:29,523
Oh, my God.
640
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:33,291
My, oh, my.
641
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:37,765
Make sure you get more SnackWells.
642
00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:40,082
I got it, honey. Number one on the list.
643
00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:42,129
- Good morning.
- Hi, honey.
644
00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:46,285
Amber. Mother.
Why are some men not circumcised?
645
00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:48,363
Oh, come on. It's 9 a.m.
646
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:51,683
I think the better question is,
why are men circumcised at all?
647
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:57,525
Now see, most boys become circumcised
at birth, right when they're newborn.
648
00:40:57,720 --> 00:40:59,848
Some parents do it for religious reasons,
649
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,970
others do it because they feel it's more hygienic.
650
00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:08,411
But the uncircumcised penis, see that?
See that turtle neck there?
651
00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:10,688
Mom. I'm eating.
You should see this too.
652
00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:13,411
You're getting married. That cow neck--
653
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:18,566
There?
Mm-hm. That is very, very sensitive.
654
00:41:18,720 --> 00:41:20,449
And now if you remove that,
655
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:23,649
then you're actually reducing a man's sexual pleasure.
656
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:26,250
That's terrible.
Isn't that awful?
657
00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:28,402
Does it hurt?
That's a good question.
658
00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:31,484
What's a good question?
Did it hurt when you got circumcised?
659
00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:34,007
I'm late for work.
No coffee?
660
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:35,367
Bye, Daddy.
661
00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:41,407
Hey, let me get that for you.
662
00:41:42,240 --> 00:41:43,765
Thanks.
663
00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:48,044
It's the least I can do. Watch your step.
You look fantastic.
664
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:51,841
Miss Chardine. You little minx.
Come here, you. Let me take that.
665
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:53,923
- Thanks.
- Someone's using her Ab Roller.
666
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:57,209
Let me tell you something, ladies.
Men have a one-track mind.
667
00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:00,011
Flash a little skin and they're like putty in your...
668
00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:02,601
Like you're a car. I'm
gonna fill you up with oil
669
00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:04,524
or put it all over your body.
670
00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:05,761
No, Willy, I got this.
671
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:11,444
♫ EN VOGUE: "MY LOVIN' (YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GET IT)"
672
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:13,443
This Will do.
673
00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:16,367
♪ Never, ever gonna get it ♪
Not this time ♪
674
00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:18,807
♪ No, you're never gonna get it
My lovin' ♪
675
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:22,442
♪ Never, ever gonna get it
No, you're never gonna get it ♪
676
00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:24,642
♪ Ow
Never, ever gonna get it ♪
677
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:27,088
New suit?
What, this old thing?
678
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:28,687
♪ My lovin' ♪
679
00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:31,127
♪ Never, ever gonna get it ♪
680
00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:34,445
No cuts.
681
00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:41,644
♪ You never was this nice
You can't fool me ♪
682
00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:46,362
♪ It doesn't matter what you do
Or what you say ♪
683
00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:50,605
♪ She doesn't love you, no way ♪
684
00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:55,326
♪ Maybe next time
You'll give your woman a little respect ♪
685
00:42:55,480 --> 00:43:00,122
♪ So you won't be hearing her say
No way ♪
686
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:07,123
Ready to rotate?
Sure.
687
00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:09,521
Might wanna put your top back on first, though.
688
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:12,764
Oh, my God.
689
00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:19,525
Well, if it isn't the president
of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee.
690
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:21,921
Itty Bitty Titty Committee.
691
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:26,202
You guys, give it back.
692
00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:28,727
I'm the president of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee.
693
00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:32,043
- You guys, give it back now.
- You look like a little boy.
694
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:36,047
Ha-ha-ha. Oh, my God.
I have bigger boobs than you.
695
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:41,440
Bet you didn't see that one coming.
696
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:48,449
Women in Europe go topless
all the time. So deal with it.
697
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:51,371
But they have boobs.
Big deal.
698
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:58,287
What, Jenna, your kids
never seen tits before? What?
699
00:43:58,440 --> 00:44:02,923
That chick is crazy.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
700
00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:05,128
I like it.
701
00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:08,204
What do you mean, you like it?
702
00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:10,522
Dad, guess what.
703
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:19,000
♪ Just the smartest stupidest girl I know
Her head won't let that stuff all go ♪
704
00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:23,243
Good, that's it. There you go.
705
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:25,050
Just blow little bubbles.
706
00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:28,367
Little itty bitty bubbles?
Ha-ha-ha.
707
00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:30,927
Fine.
I can't swim. You're killing me.
708
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:33,527
I can't swim.
You're in four feet of water.
709
00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:35,728
God, you're such a jerk.
710
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:41,603
You're right, I'm a jerk.
711
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:46,003
You still have no tits.
712
00:44:48,240 --> 00:44:49,765
Relax.
Okay.
713
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:52,207
If you keep tensing up, you're gonna sink.
714
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:53,961
Hey, look at that.
715
00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:59,691
Hey. Hey, I'm floating. Whoo.
716
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:02,283
Whoo!
717
00:45:07,240 --> 00:45:09,004
It's weird, huh?
Yeah.
718
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:11,162
It's like the minute you give up control,
719
00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:14,130
you just know what to do without doing anything.
720
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:17,804
Thought about taking your own advice?
721
00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:19,371
What's that supposed to mean?
722
00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:22,000
Well, don't take this the wrong way, but, you know,
723
00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:25,243
sometimes you can be super bossy
724
00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:28,882
and totally annoying and, you know, kind of a bitch.
725
00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:33,011
You should take it down a notch. Or 12.
726
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:37,929
I'm sorry.
727
00:45:38,840 --> 00:45:41,844
I don't mean to come off that way.
See, that was really good.
728
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:46,847
It's, like, you were sad and I started
to feel bad for you. Are you crying?
729
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:50,322
No. God, you just called me a bitch.
730
00:45:50,720 --> 00:45:52,848
See, now you're starting to bum me out again.
731
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:56,527
Yo, butt munch.
You want that ride or not? Let's go.
732
00:45:56,680 --> 00:45:59,001
Coming, Amber.
733
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:03,527
Willy, this is Amber, my sister.
Amber, Willy, my boss.
734
00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:07,526
Hey. Amber Klark. No way.
735
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:11,164
I was a senior when you were a freshman.
736
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:13,209
Oh. I thought you were the custodian.
737
00:46:14,520 --> 00:46:17,490
Everybody thought I was the custodian.
So you guys are sisters?
738
00:46:17,640 --> 00:46:19,165
You two are nothing alike.
739
00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:21,209
Thank you.
Thank you.
740
00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:23,681
I'm gonna get my stuff.
Hurry up, fucktard.
741
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:26,360
I don't wanna miss Home Improvement.
Shut up, Amber.
742
00:46:26,520 --> 00:46:30,081
You shut up.
Ha, ha. Home Improvement. Hey.
743
00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:33,360
Howdy, neighbor.
I'm not your neighbor.
744
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:36,211
I was doing Wilson, the neighbor in Home Improvement.
745
00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:39,604
Whatever.
Could you give me a towel?
746
00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:40,841
No.
747
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:44,322
I've been wanting to have this
conversation with you for a long time
748
00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:47,484
but I wasn't sure if you were mature enough to handle it.
749
00:46:48,080 --> 00:46:52,130
I lost my virginity when I was 17
750
00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:54,328
with Tucker Brooks.
751
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:59,929
You mean, I wasn't your first?
No.
752
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:03,402
Was I your second?
No. We metjunior year in college.
753
00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:05,642
Don't be silly.
So where did--?
754
00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:07,922
Where did you and Tucker Brooks do it?
755
00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:09,923
In the vagina, but that's not important.
756
00:47:10,080 --> 00:47:13,323
No, I meant as in a location.
Oh. Oh.
757
00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:15,562
I assume the vagina.
Oh. Oh. Oh.
758
00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:18,767
Beaver Creek.
Like in the back seat of a car?
759
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:23,607
Mostly.
I never went to Beaver Creek.
760
00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:26,127
You didn't?
No, I told you.
761
00:47:26,320 --> 00:47:29,608
My first time was with you.
But you were so good.
762
00:47:29,760 --> 00:47:32,843
Thanks. I read Penthouse.
763
00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:40,203
Why didn't I think of that? Doy.
764
00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:52,889
Whoa. Look at the afro on this snatch.
It's the biggest thing I've ever seen.
765
00:47:53,320 --> 00:47:56,449
Did they not have Nair in the '70s?
Why are their boobs so small?
766
00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:58,802
Because they're real?
Weird.
767
00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:03,130
It's the worst feeling.
It's like a tiny boxer is, like,
768
00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:08,402
boom, one nut, two nut, three--
Just pounding away at your nuts.
769
00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:09,971
What do you think they're talking about?
770
00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:15,044
I don't know. Stupid stuff.
Probably about their periods.
771
00:48:15,240 --> 00:48:17,971
How much they like chocolate.
Anyway, blue balls is real.
772
00:48:18,160 --> 00:48:20,162
Somebody should do something.
Mm.
773
00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:23,331
You guys, Rusty just looked at me, Huh?
774
00:48:24,120 --> 00:48:26,327
And then whispered something to Derrick.
775
00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:28,847
What do you think they're talking about?
776
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:31,481
Hey
777
00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:34,007
You wanna keep it?
You want your snorkel back?
778
00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:37,482
Find out what Rusty's talking about.
Find out what they're talking about.
779
00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:40,331
Be secretive, and come back and tell us.
Done.
780
00:48:40,520 --> 00:48:42,841
Pronto.
Fine.
781
00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:47,405
So, Pancake, are you ready
to knock "blowjob" off that list?
782
00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:50,889
I think so.
783
00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:53,441
There's some really
good articles in here.
784
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:54,681
I'm not reading.
785
00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:58,003
Mm. You should check out page 47.
786
00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:02,682
It says that if a guy drinks pineapple juice
787
00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:06,610
his semen will taste sweet.
Isn't that weird?
788
00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:10,888
I'm playing a set at the Koffee
Klatch this Saturday. You should come.
789
00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:14,806
I know it's not a big venue
like the Moose or anything, but, uh,
790
00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:16,007
a gig's a gig.
791
00:49:16,160 --> 00:49:19,050
Did you highlight this?
Brandy, you can't swallow.
792
00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:21,806
Why? Do you know how
many calories jizz has?
793
00:49:23,320 --> 00:49:25,368
You must get so much pussy with that guitar.
794
00:49:27,160 --> 00:49:30,323
Totally.
Why else would I play this thing?
795
00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:34,242
Rusty's playing Cats at the Moose on Saturday.
796
00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:35,890
Cats?
797
00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:38,365
I love that musical.
798
00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:39,760
♫ HOUSE OF LOVE: "I DON'T KNOW WHY I LOVE YOU"
799
00:49:39,920 --> 00:49:42,651
If you drink pineapple juice, she'll give you a blowjob.
800
00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:51,401
You guys want me to get you some pineapple juice?
801
00:49:51,920 --> 00:49:54,207
Yes. Yes.
Yes. Yes, that'd be nice.
802
00:49:55,440 --> 00:49:58,364
- We have to go to that show.
- Hey, Brandy.
803
00:49:58,520 --> 00:49:59,760
Hey, Cameron.
804
00:49:59,920 --> 00:50:02,924
So I would love to take you out this weekend.
805
00:50:03,080 --> 00:50:04,605
Sleepless in Seattle is playing.
806
00:50:04,760 --> 00:50:07,764
I don't know about you,
but I love anything with Meg Ryan.
807
00:50:07,920 --> 00:50:10,685
Yeah, it sure would suck to miss that.
808
00:50:10,840 --> 00:50:13,320
See you later, Pancake.
Bye, guys.
809
00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:15,608
So I'll pick you up at 8?
810
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:19,931
Knock, knock. Laundry delivery.
811
00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:21,201
Whatever.
812
00:50:23,120 --> 00:50:25,964
Don't worry, I washed your Wonderbras on delicate.
813
00:50:26,120 --> 00:50:29,761
I wasn't sure how to fold your G-strings.
There's not much to them, huh?
814
00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:31,291
That's the point.
815
00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:34,401
Right.
816
00:50:34,560 --> 00:50:38,565
Mm. Your lotion smells really nice.
What is that, vanilla?
817
00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:41,240
Strawberries and cream.
Mm.
818
00:50:41,400 --> 00:50:42,447
Why are you being nice?
819
00:50:42,640 --> 00:50:45,723
I know how stressed out you are,
planning a wedding and everything.
820
00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:49,680
I just thought I should help out my big sis.
821
00:50:50,720 --> 00:50:53,564
God, you know what? It is stressful.
822
00:50:53,720 --> 00:50:56,963
You've no idea how hard it is
trying to find a hot wedding dress.
823
00:50:57,120 --> 00:51:00,169
Everything is ankle length.
I know, right?
824
00:51:01,800 --> 00:51:04,963
So, what are your plans for after this summer?
825
00:51:05,160 --> 00:51:08,403
I'm marrying Chippy.
Duh. I mean for work, Amber.
826
00:51:08,560 --> 00:51:11,086
You didn't go to college for your MRS degree.
827
00:51:11,240 --> 00:51:12,890
Planning a wedding is a job.
828
00:51:13,040 --> 00:51:15,771
Besides, after we're married,
Chippy will take care of me.
829
00:51:15,920 --> 00:51:19,561
Amber, a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.
830
00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:22,411
You can support yourself.
You don't need a man to do that.
831
00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:24,682
♪ Has the past overthrown you? ♪
832
00:51:24,840 --> 00:51:30,768
Wow. Those things really work.
And that's why I don't have to.
833
00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:35,007
Mm-hm. Yeah. Like that.
834
00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:37,162
♫ "QUARANTINE"
835
00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:46,291
I don't understand why this band is still playing.
836
00:51:46,440 --> 00:51:49,125
Rusty should be up.
837
00:51:49,280 --> 00:51:51,009
I'm gonna find out what's going on.
838
00:51:51,160 --> 00:51:52,400
- Okay.
- Cool.
839
00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:58,203
♪ I broke up today
In pieces ♪
840
00:51:58,360 --> 00:51:59,407
Excuse me.
841
00:51:59,600 --> 00:52:02,843
♪ I don't know my name ♪
842
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:04,729
Excuse me. Hi.
843
00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:07,645
I know you're singing, but I don't know who else to ask.
844
00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:11,043
Do you know if Rusty Waters'
Acoustic Experience is on next?
845
00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:12,645
♪ I wanna burn ♪
846
00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:15,485
Just nod your head yes.
Are they on after you?
847
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:18,401
♪ Does anybody wanna
Take a little piece of me? ♪
848
00:52:18,560 --> 00:52:20,403
Was that a yes?
Get up here.
849
00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:25,850
♪ Does anybody wanna
End up sleeping with the fleas? ♪
850
00:52:26,200 --> 00:52:30,091
♪ Does anybody wanna
Live inside a quarantine with me? ♪
851
00:52:30,240 --> 00:52:34,723
Oh, my God, Fiona.
Oh, my God. Look over there.
852
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:37,685
♪ Does anybody wanna
End up sleeping with the fleas? ♪
853
00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:40,641
No fucking way!
854
00:52:40,840 --> 00:52:43,969
♪ Does anybody wanna
Take a little piece of me? ♪
855
00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:46,328
Oh, my God. Who are you?
856
00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:48,007
Hi.
857
00:52:48,160 --> 00:52:49,844
♪ Does anybody wanna
Live inside a quarantine? ♪
858
00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:55,211
♪ Tell me that you told me so
When I end up all alone ♪
859
00:52:55,560 --> 00:53:00,560
♪ Tell me that you told me so
When I end up all alone ♪
860
00:53:10,040 --> 00:53:13,249
Thanks, Boise. Clinton sucks.
Perot in '96.
861
00:53:13,400 --> 00:53:16,290
Free Tibet, if you're not too busy.
862
00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:21,401
And also thank you for the opportunity
for having me dance.
863
00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:28,761
Good evening, Miss Klark. Judge.
Hi.
864
00:53:28,920 --> 00:53:31,002
Who are you?
George, this is Cameron,
865
00:53:31,160 --> 00:53:33,003
Brandy's study buddy.
866
00:53:33,320 --> 00:53:35,084
Hi.
So is Brandy ready?
867
00:53:35,680 --> 00:53:39,730
Oh. I'm sorry,
I think there might be some mistake.
868
00:53:39,880 --> 00:53:43,930
Classic. Nerd got stood up.
I guess nice guys do come in last.
869
00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:45,730
Aww. Heh, heh.
870
00:53:45,880 --> 00:53:48,645
You can say that again.
George, will you give it a rest?
871
00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:50,484
That was 20 years ago.
872
00:53:52,480 --> 00:53:56,530
So she's not here?
Oh, jeez, Kirk, come on in.
873
00:53:56,680 --> 00:53:58,091
Cameron.
It's Cameron.
874
00:53:58,240 --> 00:54:00,004
Who's Cameron?
875
00:54:01,480 --> 00:54:05,724
I'm sure Brandy will be back soon.
Just make yourself at home.
876
00:54:05,880 --> 00:54:07,882
♫ CLAY BIRDS: "FREE"
877
00:54:10,440 --> 00:54:14,001
♪ Hello, do you remember me? ♪
878
00:54:15,360 --> 00:54:20,571
♪ I'm the one who was with you
When you were free ♪
879
00:54:20,720 --> 00:54:24,520
♪ Hello, do you think about me? ♪
880
00:54:25,400 --> 00:54:30,361
♪ I was the one, say you do
Say you do when you couldn't see ♪
881
00:54:32,240 --> 00:54:37,087
♪ I would have come alone
With you ♪
882
00:54:38,280 --> 00:54:40,965
♪ But I knew just what you'd do ♪
883
00:54:41,120 --> 00:54:43,566
"French kiss, make out,
884
00:54:43,720 --> 00:54:46,929
finger bomb, no skorts,
885
00:54:47,680 --> 00:54:49,364
hand job Cameron."
886
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:52,480
♪ What I wanted to ♪
887
00:54:54,760 --> 00:54:56,728
What the hell?
888
00:54:56,880 --> 00:54:59,008
♫ ELASTICA: "STUTTER"
889
00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:03,360
Drink up, boys, and follow me.
Whoo-hoo!
890
00:55:14,240 --> 00:55:15,844
♪ No need to whine, boy ♪
891
00:55:16,040 --> 00:55:18,566
♪ Like a wind-up toy
You stutter at my feet ♪
892
00:55:18,720 --> 00:55:21,041
Why'd they buy us pineapple juice?
893
00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:23,089
I think they're Mormons, bro.
894
00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:25,523
Look at me, guys.
895
00:55:29,920 --> 00:55:31,251
You might be right.
896
00:55:33,160 --> 00:55:35,970
Bass has four strings, guitar has six.
897
00:55:36,120 --> 00:55:39,727
The bass covers the lower end of the--
Okay, shut up.
898
00:55:39,880 --> 00:55:43,043
♪ It was a friend of a friend
So over you bend ♪
899
00:55:43,200 --> 00:55:46,727
♪ Now you don't talk to either one ♪
900
00:55:46,880 --> 00:55:48,689
♪ And the barb from the rose ♪
901
00:55:48,840 --> 00:55:50,763
♪ Took some skin off your nose ♪
902
00:55:50,920 --> 00:55:53,605
♪ You don't give in to anything ♪
903
00:55:55,400 --> 00:55:59,769
I'm sorry. I just feel so bad for him.
904
00:56:09,840 --> 00:56:13,970
♪ You've been driving all day
From a mile away ♪
905
00:56:15,640 --> 00:56:17,642
So wet in here.
906
00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:21,248
Are you gonna come in?
907
00:56:21,440 --> 00:56:27,004
Can't. Dyed my hair this morning.
Can't get it wet for 48 hours.
908
00:56:30,640 --> 00:56:32,642
Well, that's a shame
909
00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:38,048
because a hot shower sounds really nice right about now.
910
00:56:39,040 --> 00:56:40,804
If you ask me.
911
00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:47,166
Uh, señorita,
you are so amorous.
912
00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:51,644
Your energy is just electric,
you know? Heh.
913
00:56:51,840 --> 00:56:55,561
Life on the road is so treacherous, you know?
914
00:56:55,760 --> 00:56:58,286
Never would've thought touring the Pacific Northwest
915
00:56:58,440 --> 00:57:00,090
would be so harrowing--
916
00:57:00,240 --> 00:57:02,402
Are you gonna talk the whole time I blow you?
917
00:57:02,600 --> 00:57:07,003
I'm trying to figure this out. I think I
have to breathe through my nose. Shh!
918
00:57:07,360 --> 00:57:09,328
Apologies.
Thank you.
919
00:57:09,480 --> 00:57:13,849
I'm a musical wordsmith, honey.
Lamenting is what I do.
920
00:57:14,040 --> 00:57:16,850
And telling the troubadour's tale
is what I do best--
921
00:57:33,080 --> 00:57:34,206
Showers.
922
00:57:34,360 --> 00:57:38,524
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
923
00:57:38,720 --> 00:57:43,044
♪ Oh, oh
Through the valleys of Joshua trees ♪
924
00:57:45,720 --> 00:57:46,846
What the fuck?
925
00:57:48,520 --> 00:57:51,046
Brandy. Who's this guy?
926
00:57:53,080 --> 00:57:55,242
Brandy, answer me.
What are you doing here?
927
00:57:56,320 --> 00:58:00,723
Mm.
Open your mouth and answer me.
928
00:58:04,480 --> 00:58:06,562
Did it taste like pineapple juice?
929
00:58:06,720 --> 00:58:10,645
Shut up. Just shut up. I--
You two just stay apart.
930
00:58:10,840 --> 00:58:12,922
You guys over there, you guys over here.
931
00:58:13,080 --> 00:58:16,562
Dude, these are like little girls, all right?
What were you thinking?
932
00:58:16,760 --> 00:58:21,766
Brandy, you're being totally,
totally irresponsible, okay?
933
00:58:28,840 --> 00:58:30,171
Wow.
934
00:58:30,360 --> 00:58:33,603
That's some good shit, man.
Her dad is a judge,
935
00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:35,444
dude.
What?
936
00:58:35,600 --> 00:58:37,602
This one, her dad's a judge.
937
00:58:37,760 --> 00:58:41,845
A judge?
Who do you think you are, Lolita?
938
00:58:42,400 --> 00:58:47,201
I mean, you lured me in, you sought me out
939
00:58:47,360 --> 00:58:50,364
and then you lie to me?
What's that about?
940
00:58:51,160 --> 00:58:53,367
Oh, that's good.
941
00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:56,728
I think I just wrote a song.
Whoa.
942
00:58:56,880 --> 00:58:58,769
To the van.
All right.
943
00:59:00,560 --> 00:59:04,121
That was cool.
Bye. Love your music.
944
00:59:04,800 --> 00:59:07,121
There's a gate right there.
I don't know why you--
945
00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:08,964
All right.
946
00:59:09,640 --> 00:59:13,122
Hey, hey, hey. Girls, I'm not done.
These guys are 10 years older than you.
947
00:59:13,320 --> 00:59:15,641
What are you doing?
Oh, my God.
948
00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:18,810
Willy, do you live here?
Are you homeless?
949
00:59:18,960 --> 00:59:23,602
Yes, I'm a homeless American. Stop it.
I shouldn't be seeing you guys like this.
950
00:59:23,760 --> 00:59:26,809
Brandy, what are you thinking?
951
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:29,241
What would've happened tonight if I wasn't here?
952
00:59:29,400 --> 00:59:32,006
Um... I think I would've swallowed.
953
00:59:33,480 --> 00:59:37,007
I'm serious.
I just got that, and that's not funny.
954
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:40,010
- It's not funny at all, okay?
- Come on, Willy.
955
00:59:40,200 --> 00:59:42,646
Let's see how funny it is when I call your folks.
956
00:59:42,800 --> 00:59:44,484
- No.
- Okay? Hey. hey.
957
00:59:44,680 --> 00:59:48,401
You guys should be at home in bed, in flannel pajamas,
958
00:59:48,600 --> 00:59:51,331
not floundering around
in your underwear--
959
00:59:51,520 --> 00:59:53,682
I don't know your number.
I don't know who I called.
960
01:00:03,840 --> 01:00:07,208
- What a night.
- You can say that again.
961
01:00:08,800 --> 01:00:11,770
What are you doing here?
We had a date.
962
01:00:12,600 --> 01:00:16,082
Or were you so busy with your stupid
scam list that you forgot all about it?
963
01:00:16,880 --> 01:00:19,201
Cameron, that's private.
Give that back to me.
964
01:00:19,880 --> 01:00:23,282
Cameron. That's private.
Give it back.
965
01:00:23,440 --> 01:00:28,048
You cheat on me?
No. Cheat? We're not even together.
966
01:00:28,200 --> 01:00:30,806
We're not together because I'm breaking up with you.
967
01:00:30,960 --> 01:00:33,406
You can't break up with me, we were never going out.
968
01:00:33,560 --> 01:00:38,168
Brandy, you gave me a hand job.
Doesn't that mean anything to you?
969
01:00:38,520 --> 01:00:39,681
No, it's a hand job.
970
01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:47,409
I told you that I love you.
You meant that?
971
01:00:50,480 --> 01:00:54,610
Brandy, how could you do this to me?
972
01:00:54,760 --> 01:00:58,560
I work with you, I study with you, I fingered you.
973
01:00:58,720 --> 01:01:02,327
At any point you could've told me
that you were just using me.
974
01:01:02,480 --> 01:01:05,768
I wonder if I'll ever be able to enjoy a hand job again.
975
01:01:05,920 --> 01:01:09,367
Cameron, don't say that.
976
01:01:09,920 --> 01:01:12,605
I'm probably gonna have erectile dysfunction.
977
01:01:12,760 --> 01:01:14,808
Camster.
978
01:01:14,960 --> 01:01:18,726
It was just a misunderstanding.
Don't touch me.
979
01:01:21,080 --> 01:01:22,889
I hope you get AIDS.
980
01:01:24,240 --> 01:01:26,083
Cameron!
981
01:01:35,120 --> 01:01:37,771
Welcome to Big Bun.
Can I take your order?
982
01:01:38,400 --> 01:01:40,084
Cameron wants me to die of AIDS.
983
01:01:41,320 --> 01:01:43,448
And can I get a milkshake?
984
01:01:44,840 --> 01:01:47,525
Come on, we're waiting here.
Shit. All right, man.
985
01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:51,247
I cannot believe he is letting a hand job
come between our friendship.
986
01:01:51,400 --> 01:01:53,482
He should be happy that you jerked him off.
987
01:01:53,640 --> 01:01:56,041
Especially with his condition.
Yeah.
988
01:01:56,200 --> 01:01:59,249
I didn't know he "like" liked me.
How am I supposed to know?
989
01:01:59,440 --> 01:02:01,488
I'm not a mind reader.
I'm not a gypsy.
990
01:02:01,640 --> 01:02:05,122
Do you, like, "like" like him back?
I don't know.
991
01:02:05,360 --> 01:02:09,331
It's Cameron.
I don't think about him like that.
992
01:02:10,240 --> 01:02:12,322
But, you guys, he was...
993
01:02:13,280 --> 01:02:15,169
crying.
994
01:02:15,600 --> 01:02:19,002
I think I really hurt him.
Dude, he's just being a little baby.
995
01:02:19,160 --> 01:02:21,731
Guys mess around and girls just have to put up with it?
996
01:02:21,920 --> 01:02:23,490
Yeah.
It's bullshit.
997
01:02:23,640 --> 01:02:25,483
When I sprained my ankle in gym class,
998
01:02:25,640 --> 01:02:28,086
Duffy square danced with, like, three other girls.
999
01:02:28,240 --> 01:02:30,083
- He did not.
- I had to sit and watch.
1000
01:02:30,240 --> 01:02:34,006
Oh, my God. You broke up
three years ago. Get over it.
1001
01:02:34,160 --> 01:02:36,162
It still hurts, Fiona.
1002
01:02:36,360 --> 01:02:40,649
It's like Gloria Steinem says,
"You're either the virgin or the whore."
1003
01:02:40,800 --> 01:02:41,847
Well, you know what?
1004
01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:45,322
One of those sounds a lot funner than the other one.
1005
01:02:45,480 --> 01:02:47,369
Yeah. The whore.
1006
01:02:47,520 --> 01:02:50,205
Maybe this whole scam-list thing
was a stupid idea.
1007
01:02:50,360 --> 01:02:53,762
No, you can't give up now.
You worked too hard to get to this point.
1008
01:02:53,920 --> 01:02:56,810
You can't back out now.
Think about all you've accomplished.
1009
01:02:57,000 --> 01:02:59,002
You've gotten more action this last month
1010
01:02:59,160 --> 01:03:01,970
than your entire high school career.
That's true.
1011
01:03:02,360 --> 01:03:04,044
You're right.
1012
01:03:07,400 --> 01:03:09,880
I deserve to get fucked by Rusty.
1013
01:03:10,040 --> 01:03:11,883
She made a scam list?
1014
01:03:13,480 --> 01:03:17,041
A list of sexual experiments to do with guys.
1015
01:03:17,760 --> 01:03:19,205
She used me, man.
1016
01:03:19,360 --> 01:03:23,490
Like she could just jerk me off
without ever even committing.
1017
01:03:24,440 --> 01:03:28,206
That is terrible. Any old guy?
Yup.
1018
01:03:28,360 --> 01:03:30,522
Oh, he's such a dick, he's such a dick.
1019
01:03:30,680 --> 01:03:32,728
No, he's not a dick, Duffy.
He is.
1020
01:03:32,880 --> 01:03:36,851
No, he's like one of my best friends.
I know. Me too.
1021
01:03:37,040 --> 01:03:39,008
You have to believe me, I didn't mean to hurt him.
1022
01:03:39,160 --> 01:03:41,640
I know you didn't.
Why would I do that on purpose?
1023
01:03:41,800 --> 01:03:44,929
You would never. You're an angel.
He told me he wanted me to die.
1024
01:03:45,080 --> 01:03:47,162
He's a meanie. He's a dick.
He's not a dick.
1025
01:03:47,320 --> 01:03:50,164
But don't worry, Duffy's here to make it all better.
1026
01:03:50,320 --> 01:03:51,560
[ED GRAVES' "PEARL NECKLACE" PLAYING SOFTLY OVER SPEAKERS]
1027
01:03:51,760 --> 01:03:55,082
Why are you referring to yourself in the third person?
1028
01:03:56,280 --> 01:03:59,602
Oh-- Duffy. Duffy, stop.
1029
01:03:59,760 --> 01:04:02,764
What? I just invited you over
to make you feel better.
1030
01:04:03,520 --> 01:04:05,170
What's on your neck?
1031
01:04:06,480 --> 01:04:09,927
Nothing. Just a little hickey that
1032
01:04:10,080 --> 01:04:13,402
Kitty Randall gave to me
when we dry humped the other night.
1033
01:04:13,560 --> 01:04:15,528
What's dry hump?
Ahem.
1034
01:04:15,680 --> 01:04:20,447
It's actually kind of complicated.
I'd have to show you.
1035
01:04:22,480 --> 01:04:26,610
Okay. You can show me.
You're just gonna let me hump you?
1036
01:04:26,800 --> 01:04:27,801
Yes.
1037
01:04:32,920 --> 01:04:35,287
It's all right. It's all right.
1038
01:04:35,480 --> 01:04:37,562
My mother's cats. Mother's cats.
1039
01:04:37,720 --> 01:04:40,963
I'm sorry.
I'm still hard. Let's keep going. Oh, yeah.
1040
01:04:41,520 --> 01:04:43,284
You've never done this before?
No.
1041
01:04:43,480 --> 01:04:45,130
Feels so good.
Yes.
1042
01:04:47,520 --> 01:04:49,204
Shut the fuck up.
1043
01:04:49,400 --> 01:04:50,401
No way, dude.
1044
01:04:50,560 --> 01:04:53,564
We dry humped last night all over my room.
1045
01:04:53,720 --> 01:04:57,327
She's writing a sex manual or something.
Sex manual?
1046
01:04:57,760 --> 01:04:59,524
All right.
Uh-huh.
1047
01:05:00,160 --> 01:05:01,491
Thank you.
1048
01:05:06,640 --> 01:05:08,722
Uh, hey, you got plans tonight?
1049
01:05:08,920 --> 01:05:10,922
Um...
1050
01:05:12,160 --> 01:05:16,688
I don't know, Derrick.
Do we have plans tonight?
1051
01:05:18,320 --> 01:05:19,321
Uh...
1052
01:05:19,960 --> 01:05:22,804
Sure.
Ha-ha-ha.
1053
01:05:23,560 --> 01:05:25,767
You're so funny. Ha-ha-ha.
1054
01:05:27,280 --> 01:05:29,601
Walk me to my bike.
1055
01:05:29,760 --> 01:05:31,842
I did not say anything.
1056
01:05:35,400 --> 01:05:37,801
Hey, where you going?
I need some air.
1057
01:05:37,960 --> 01:05:39,962
But it's an outdoor pool.
1058
01:05:41,560 --> 01:05:43,449
I need air.
1059
01:05:45,280 --> 01:05:46,691
♫ COLLEEN GRACE ROURKE: "GLASS BOTTLE"
1060
01:05:46,880 --> 01:05:48,689
Welcome to Big Bun.
May I help you?
1061
01:05:48,880 --> 01:05:51,087
Double order of fish sticks, a large RC Cola
1062
01:05:51,240 --> 01:05:53,971
and would either of you like to go out on a date?
1063
01:05:59,000 --> 01:06:02,368
I will.
Whoa. Sisters before misters.
1064
01:06:02,600 --> 01:06:06,047
Oh. What? Come on, give me a break.
Brandy doesn't own Cameron, okay?
1065
01:06:06,200 --> 01:06:09,409
And she said herself
that she doesn't, like, "like" like him.
1066
01:06:09,600 --> 01:06:11,170
So it's an open playing field.
1067
01:06:11,960 --> 01:06:14,440
I've never been with someone who wasn't circumcised,
1068
01:06:14,600 --> 01:06:17,046
and I wanna see if it's as gross as she says.
1069
01:06:17,240 --> 01:06:18,890
I can hear you.
1070
01:06:19,960 --> 01:06:23,043
♪ Can he move, whoa ♪
1071
01:06:23,200 --> 01:06:26,647
Hello? Hello?
1072
01:06:26,960 --> 01:06:32,171
Fiona, I can see you right now.
Is every woman in this world--? Aah!
1073
01:06:32,840 --> 01:06:35,411
You know what? Forget it. Forget it.
1074
01:06:35,640 --> 01:06:37,563
Stupid car won't work.
1075
01:06:37,760 --> 01:06:39,250
♫ CELINA GRAVES: "RAYON SUMMER"
1076
01:06:39,400 --> 01:06:44,531
♪ It's a hot rayon summer
Too hot for school ♪
1077
01:06:44,680 --> 01:06:47,001
Let me get this straight,
1078
01:06:47,160 --> 01:06:49,481
you wanna go down on me?
1079
01:06:51,040 --> 01:06:54,886
Yeah, because I just got dumped
because I suck dick at eating pussy.
1080
01:06:55,040 --> 01:06:57,281
I just thought that if I practice,
1081
01:06:57,440 --> 01:07:00,125
then I could keep it from happening again.
1082
01:07:00,280 --> 01:07:02,760
It's a lot harder than you think.
I don't know.
1083
01:07:02,920 --> 01:07:04,729
You know what? Forget this.
Forget it. it's--
1084
01:07:04,880 --> 01:07:06,291
Shh.
1085
01:07:06,960 --> 01:07:08,405
You had me at "eating pussy."
1086
01:07:10,760 --> 01:07:12,888
You had me at "eating pussy."
1087
01:07:14,960 --> 01:07:17,088
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
1088
01:07:17,240 --> 01:07:20,084
Right. Okay.
1089
01:07:20,280 --> 01:07:21,281
Up a smidge.
1090
01:07:23,560 --> 01:07:25,722
Okay, down a tad.
1091
01:07:25,880 --> 01:07:28,121
Yeah. Okay. Yeah, right there.
1092
01:07:28,280 --> 01:07:30,487
It's not working.
Yeah, it's working.
1093
01:07:30,680 --> 01:07:33,411
No, it's not.
Yeah, it's really working.
1094
01:07:33,560 --> 01:07:36,882
No, it's not. My video
won't play, Derrick.
1095
01:07:37,480 --> 01:07:38,811
Was that good?
1096
01:07:39,960 --> 01:07:41,166
Oh. Ow. Mm.
1097
01:07:41,320 --> 01:07:43,800
Is the TV on channel three?
Yes.
1098
01:07:43,960 --> 01:07:47,442
Well, make sure it's set to VCR, man.
Okay.
1099
01:07:49,400 --> 01:07:52,324
- What you doing?
- Looking for my keys.
1100
01:07:52,480 --> 01:07:54,847
You need some help?
I mean, I can always help.
1101
01:07:55,000 --> 01:07:57,480
No.
I know, buddy, I know. Just get out.
1102
01:07:57,640 --> 01:07:59,244
All right, GUYS-
1103
01:08:02,480 --> 01:08:05,450
I thought we were alone.
Who, Benji?
1104
01:08:05,840 --> 01:08:09,970
He doesn't count.
He believes in monsters and shit.
1105
01:08:10,120 --> 01:08:12,771
He's not a person.
Okay, fine.
1106
01:08:36,720 --> 01:08:39,530
Mitchell residence.
Hello, Mr. Mitchell, it's Brandy.
1107
01:08:39,680 --> 01:08:41,011
Is Cameron there?
1108
01:08:41,160 --> 01:08:44,130
Yeah, I'm sorry, he's in his room with the door locked,
1109
01:08:44,280 --> 01:08:47,807
and he's listening to Sarah McLachlan.
1110
01:08:47,960 --> 01:08:51,328
That bad, huh?
Yeah. I would tell him you called
1111
01:08:51,520 --> 01:08:54,569
but we 're not saying your name around here.
1112
01:08:54,720 --> 01:08:57,644
Got it. Thanks anyways.
1113
01:08:57,800 --> 01:09:01,566
It's a three-day rental, so we can
watch it again tomorrow if you want.
1114
01:09:01,760 --> 01:09:03,808
I'm glad you talked me into this.
Whoo!
1115
01:09:03,960 --> 01:09:06,566
So excited for Beaches.
Me too.
1116
01:09:06,760 --> 01:09:10,048
Guys, I brought Kleenex and stuff,
just in case we get emotional.
1117
01:09:10,200 --> 01:09:14,171
Yes, Wendy, we know.
What's after "titty fucked," cunni-what?
1118
01:09:14,320 --> 01:09:15,810
Cunnilingus.
What is that?
1119
01:09:16,000 --> 01:09:19,243
It's when a man stimulates
the female genitals with his mouth.
1120
01:09:19,400 --> 01:09:21,641
No shit. So Derrick ate you out?
1121
01:09:21,840 --> 01:09:25,765
Yeah. I prefer "cunnilingus," though.
"Eat out" reminds me of fast food.
1122
01:09:25,920 --> 01:09:28,730
Wow. Look at you.
That's a step away from sex.
1123
01:09:28,880 --> 01:09:30,370
Yeah, I know.
We should celebrate
1124
01:09:30,560 --> 01:09:33,609
by watching Beaches.
So, urn...
1125
01:09:33,760 --> 01:09:36,843
now that you're like hooking up
with all these different guys,
1126
01:09:37,000 --> 01:09:39,685
is it cool if I go out with Cameron?
1127
01:09:40,960 --> 01:09:44,442
What? Cameron asked you out?
He asked me out too,
1128
01:09:44,600 --> 01:09:47,126
but I said no because you're my best friend,
1129
01:09:47,280 --> 01:09:49,886
and best friends don't let boys get between them.
1130
01:09:50,640 --> 01:09:53,291
Speaking of that, it's time for Beaches.
1131
01:09:53,440 --> 01:09:56,284
- Yeah, Beaches.
- Yeah.
1132
01:09:56,440 --> 01:09:57,441
Are you pressing the right button?
1133
01:09:57,600 --> 01:09:58,601
I think so.
1134
01:09:58,760 --> 01:10:01,809
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Did you dry hump Duffy?
1135
01:10:02,600 --> 01:10:04,489
What?
Yeah.
1136
01:10:04,640 --> 01:10:08,281
What?
He gave me two hickeys. One and one.
1137
01:10:08,440 --> 01:10:10,807
Brandy.
Ow.
1138
01:10:10,960 --> 01:10:13,247
You know I, like, "like" like Duffy.
Yeah.
1139
01:10:13,400 --> 01:10:16,483
So? It's not like you're going out with him.
So? What is wrong with you?
1140
01:10:16,640 --> 01:10:20,804
Why are you spazzing out?
Because it's ho's before bros, man.
1141
01:10:20,960 --> 01:10:22,200
You don't just go around
1142
01:10:22,400 --> 01:10:24,482
hooking up with whoever. Pbbt!
Whomever.
1143
01:10:24,640 --> 01:10:27,166
You're going out with Cameron, so don't be a hypocrite.
1144
01:10:27,320 --> 01:10:30,164
Yeah, but I asked you first.
That's the difference.
1145
01:10:30,320 --> 01:10:34,882
I cannot believe that you would
choose a boy over our friendship.
1146
01:10:35,080 --> 01:10:38,004
- You don't deserve to watch Beaches.
- No, she doesn't.
1147
01:10:39,480 --> 01:10:42,404
Don't say that.
Let's go. Let's watch it at your place.
1148
01:10:42,560 --> 01:10:44,961
You guys. It's stuck, Wendy.
1149
01:10:45,120 --> 01:10:48,010
Yeah, thanks, I can see that.
Take it. Let's go.
1150
01:10:48,160 --> 01:10:50,242
- Don't take my VCR.
- Come on.
1151
01:10:50,880 --> 01:10:53,963
Wait. Come back.
You better hope that tape isn't ruined.
1152
01:10:54,120 --> 01:10:56,168
Fiona, come on, don't be--
No, I'm sorry,
1153
01:10:56,320 --> 01:11:00,006
I don't understand you because I don't speak slut.
1154
01:11:04,840 --> 01:11:08,367
- Willy, what happened?
- Same shit every summer.
1155
01:11:08,520 --> 01:11:12,161
Oak Crest Country Club pulls some stupid prank on us.
1156
01:11:12,360 --> 01:11:16,046
- It's an initiation for their new lifeguards.
- I can't believe they did that.
1157
01:11:16,200 --> 01:11:18,521
You were here all night and you didn't hear them?
1158
01:11:18,680 --> 01:11:20,364
No.
1159
01:11:20,520 --> 01:11:24,320
God, man, Oak Crest, those guys are good.
1160
01:11:24,920 --> 01:11:28,686
Yeah. Yeah,
that's a big kick in the nuts.
1161
01:11:28,840 --> 01:11:31,730
I'll have Rusty and Derrick
put it back up when they get here.
1162
01:11:31,880 --> 01:11:35,202
What? No, Willy,
we need to get them back.
1163
01:11:36,320 --> 01:11:42,009
Yeah, we need to get revenge.
I mean, real revenge.
1164
01:11:42,680 --> 01:11:45,684
You mean, like--? Like kill them?
What?
1165
01:11:45,840 --> 01:11:48,081
I think that's illegal.
I know a guy with a gun--
1166
01:11:48,280 --> 01:11:50,681
No, I mean like we need to get them where it hurts.
1167
01:11:51,720 --> 01:11:54,291
Come on, you're our boss, our leader.
1168
01:11:54,560 --> 01:11:58,007
This is your pool. If not you,
then who?
1169
01:11:58,160 --> 01:11:59,525
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1170
01:11:59,680 --> 01:12:02,411
Let's take a big fucking dump on Oak Crest.
1171
01:12:02,560 --> 01:12:04,244
Let's get those fuckers.
1172
01:12:04,400 --> 01:12:07,244
Hey, Bernadette.
What's the plan?
1173
01:12:08,960 --> 01:12:12,760
We're gonna blow this shit up.
We're gonna burn it to the ground.
1174
01:12:12,920 --> 01:12:14,410
Rock.
I see it, boss.
1175
01:12:15,760 --> 01:12:16,841
Shh.
It's a fucking ladder,
1176
01:12:17,000 --> 01:12:18,047
it's gonna make noise.
1177
01:12:18,200 --> 01:12:20,726
GO, go!
1178
01:12:27,280 --> 01:12:30,727
Holy shit. That is a fucking slide.
1179
01:12:31,560 --> 01:12:34,291
All right, Cameron.
All right.
1180
01:12:35,760 --> 01:12:37,444
Nice.
1181
01:12:37,600 --> 01:12:41,446
Approaching perimeter.
Cameron, what's your status? Over.
1182
01:12:41,600 --> 01:12:45,446
He's not talking to you right now.
Over. Shit, this thing's hot.
1183
01:12:45,600 --> 01:12:49,446
You can't let personal issues get in
the way of work. Act professional. Over.
1184
01:12:49,600 --> 01:12:53,810
You can't see him, but he's
flipping you off right now. Over.
1185
01:12:54,000 --> 01:12:56,446
Whatever. Just get into position.
Over.
1186
01:12:56,640 --> 01:13:01,043
It's fucking scary in here, man.
What are you looking for?
1187
01:13:01,200 --> 01:13:02,964
Just some sort of knob.
1188
01:13:03,120 --> 01:13:06,283
Why do they have all these things
in their pool? What does it do?
1189
01:13:06,480 --> 01:13:08,960
We don't have any of these.
How do you not know this?
1190
01:13:09,320 --> 01:13:10,924
Come on.
1191
01:13:12,920 --> 01:13:14,763
Shit, there it is.
1192
01:13:15,480 --> 01:13:17,528
All right, we found it. Over.
1193
01:13:26,440 --> 01:13:29,444
On my count, guys. In one,
1194
01:13:30,040 --> 01:13:32,168
Ugh.
Two, three.
1195
01:13:32,320 --> 01:13:34,846
Oh, yeah. Spin that bitch.
1196
01:13:41,040 --> 01:13:44,681
That good?
How's that?
1197
01:13:44,840 --> 01:13:48,686
Guys, you have to see this. Come on out here.
Even you, Cameron. Over.
1198
01:13:48,840 --> 01:13:50,171
Screw you, Brandy.
1199
01:13:53,800 --> 01:13:56,201
Shit, newbie, you are as smart as you think you are.
1200
01:13:56,360 --> 01:13:58,328
This is gonna be some serious payback.
1201
01:14:01,720 --> 01:14:04,246
What?
Nothing.
1202
01:14:08,240 --> 01:14:11,642
We doing this?
What?
1203
01:14:14,040 --> 01:14:16,725
Come on.
Yeah.
1204
01:14:16,880 --> 01:14:18,041
Yeah, let's do this.
1205
01:14:19,880 --> 01:14:21,803
I'll just take my clothes off too.
1206
01:14:26,480 --> 01:14:27,686
Take your time.
1207
01:14:27,840 --> 01:14:30,286
Why don't you talk to her, instead of being a grumpy gus?
1208
01:14:30,480 --> 01:14:32,721
I am not a grumpy gus.
Yes, you are.
1209
01:14:32,880 --> 01:14:34,723
No, I'm not.
You wanna hear a riddle?
1210
01:14:34,880 --> 01:14:37,406
Why did Eddie Vedder cross the road?
Why?
1211
01:14:37,560 --> 01:14:40,643
To get
to the other side. Hey, hey, hey!
1212
01:14:40,800 --> 01:14:41,881
Jeremy spoke!
1213
01:14:42,080 --> 01:14:43,206
Who's that supposed to be?
1214
01:14:43,360 --> 01:14:44,994
Who's that? That's Eddie Vedder.
1215
01:14:45,080 --> 01:14:47,281
That's not the face Vedder makes.
Have you seen the "Jeremy" video?
1216
01:14:47,480 --> 01:14:49,528
I've seen the "Jeremy" video,
that's not the face he makes.
1217
01:14:49,680 --> 01:14:52,570
That is the face he makes. I get why
Brandy wants nothing to do with you.
1218
01:14:52,720 --> 01:14:55,326
Fuck you, man. Bitch.
1219
01:14:56,320 --> 01:14:59,164
One, two, three.
1220
01:15:00,600 --> 01:15:02,682
♫ HOUSE OF LOVE: "I DON'T KNOW WHY I LOVE YOU"
1221
01:15:09,680 --> 01:15:13,162
Oh, not again.
What is this?
1222
01:15:13,760 --> 01:15:17,765
This thing is like a life preserver.
Jerk. Give it back.
1223
01:15:17,920 --> 01:15:21,561
You want it? Too bad.
I like you better without it.
1224
01:15:21,720 --> 01:15:24,610
I cannot believe you just did that.
1225
01:15:24,760 --> 01:15:30,767
♪ Don't know why I love you
I don't know why I care ♪
1226
01:15:30,960 --> 01:15:35,045
Excuse me.
Better ask permission next time.
1227
01:15:35,680 --> 01:15:36,761
Next time?
1228
01:15:37,000 --> 01:15:40,083
♪ But I don't know why I love you ♪
1229
01:15:45,120 --> 01:15:47,885
Fuck you, Oak Crest.
Ha-ha-ha.
1230
01:15:49,280 --> 01:15:50,645
♪ How can I get close to you ♪
1231
01:15:54,480 --> 01:15:56,642
♪ When you got no mercy
No, you got no ♪
1232
01:15:56,800 --> 01:15:58,086
Busted.
1233
01:15:58,520 --> 01:16:01,490
I'm gonna take a shit in their fucking pool, man.
1234
01:16:01,920 --> 01:16:03,160
♪ I don't know why I love you ♪
1235
01:16:10,320 --> 01:16:13,403
What happened here?
1236
01:16:16,320 --> 01:16:17,765
Um...
1237
01:16:21,000 --> 01:16:22,047
Oh...
1238
01:16:22,200 --> 01:16:25,841
You're gonna look me in the eye
and deny all of this, huh?
1239
01:16:29,080 --> 01:16:30,491
That doesn't prove anything.
1240
01:16:36,640 --> 01:16:39,530
You wrote your name in this?
Who does that?
1241
01:16:39,680 --> 01:16:41,682
I'm sorry. I'm going to college.
1242
01:16:41,840 --> 01:16:44,320
You're supposed to write your name
on everything in case it gets lost.
1243
01:16:44,480 --> 01:16:48,530
Look, your little prank ruined our filtration system.
1244
01:16:48,680 --> 01:16:51,445
Not our problem.
Well, it's gonna be your problem
1245
01:16:51,600 --> 01:16:54,683
when I report you to the Parks Department.
1246
01:16:54,880 --> 01:16:57,486
Hey, friend? Hey, buddy,
don't do that, okay? Please.
1247
01:16:57,640 --> 01:17:01,361
Look, the only way I won't call them
1248
01:17:01,520 --> 01:17:05,127
is if you send a handwritten apology note,
1249
01:17:05,280 --> 01:17:07,567
you promise these pranks stop today,
1250
01:17:07,880 --> 01:17:09,882
and you fire old double-D here.
1251
01:17:10,520 --> 01:17:12,682
No one's getting fired.
Brandy, you're fired.
1252
01:17:12,840 --> 01:17:15,571
I'm gonna have to go to Office Max for the other stuff.
1253
01:17:15,720 --> 01:17:21,329
Are you kidding me, Willy? I'm your best employee.
I taught you how to swim.
1254
01:17:21,480 --> 01:17:23,801
What?
I'm sorry, I can't lose my job.
1255
01:17:23,960 --> 01:17:25,246
This is unbelievable.
1256
01:17:25,400 --> 01:17:26,561
♫ GIN BLOSSOMS: "29"
1257
01:17:26,720 --> 01:17:31,044
All summer everyone's been telling
me to loosen up and relax
1258
01:17:31,200 --> 01:17:33,771
and not think so much and...
1259
01:17:33,960 --> 01:17:35,724
Well, fuck that.
1260
01:17:36,560 --> 01:17:38,244
And fuck you too.
1261
01:17:42,440 --> 01:17:44,249
Want a beer?
No.
1262
01:17:44,560 --> 01:17:48,963
♪ Time won't stand by forever ♪
1263
01:17:49,120 --> 01:17:52,044
♪ If I know it's true ♪
1264
01:17:53,200 --> 01:17:57,683
♪ And I've learned not to say never ♪
1265
01:17:57,840 --> 01:18:00,810
♪ Else I'll seem the fool ♪
1266
01:18:02,040 --> 01:18:06,409
♪ At 29 you'd think I'd know better ♪
1267
01:18:06,560 --> 01:18:09,450
♪ Living like a kid ♪
1268
01:18:12,040 --> 01:18:14,611
Oh, come on, don't look at me like that.
1269
01:18:15,280 --> 01:18:16,691
♪ Is when I fall for it ♪
1270
01:18:16,840 --> 01:18:18,968
Honey, can
I speak with you?
1271
01:18:19,120 --> 01:18:20,451
♪ Only time will tell ♪
1272
01:18:20,600 --> 01:18:25,288
This whole thing has been so painful.
Mm.
1273
01:18:25,520 --> 01:18:28,763
Cameron was crying afterwards.
1274
01:18:28,920 --> 01:18:31,321
They always do.
1275
01:18:31,480 --> 01:18:35,121
You know, boys are just really
more sensitive than they let on.
1276
01:18:35,280 --> 01:18:37,442
Your father included.
Hm.
1277
01:18:38,080 --> 01:18:40,367
Which reminds me, don't say anything
1278
01:18:40,520 --> 01:18:44,525
but I have planned a pretty sexy
surprise for us for our anniversary.
1279
01:18:44,680 --> 01:18:46,728
Mom, I don't wanna hear
about you and Dad--
1280
01:18:46,880 --> 01:18:49,281
Having intercourse? Noted.
1281
01:18:50,320 --> 01:18:53,642
Honey, listen, as you move forward
1282
01:18:54,520 --> 01:18:58,411
on your sexual journey, just promise me one thing.
1283
01:18:59,080 --> 01:19:02,607
To have fun?
To use lube.
1284
01:19:04,160 --> 01:19:06,447
Doesn't always have to be painful.
1285
01:19:08,160 --> 01:19:11,243
I wish my mother had given me lube when I was your age.
1286
01:19:14,760 --> 01:19:18,685
Where exactly do I--?
In the vagina, sweetie.
1287
01:19:18,960 --> 01:19:20,689
Thanks, Mom.
1288
01:19:23,560 --> 01:19:25,050
I got it.
1289
01:19:26,800 --> 01:19:27,847
Boise Pool.
1290
01:19:28,200 --> 01:19:30,521
- Rusty Waters, please.
- Brandy?
1291
01:19:30,760 --> 01:19:32,285
Yes. Rusty, please.
1292
01:19:33,360 --> 01:19:37,365
Uh, Rusty, it's Brandy.
She wants to talk to you.
1293
01:19:38,760 --> 01:19:42,048
Hey, newbie. Heard you got fired.
That sucks.
1294
01:19:42,520 --> 01:19:46,525
Yeah, I know. It'll be tough explaining
the employment gap in my resume
1295
01:19:46,800 --> 01:19:51,362
but anyway, would you like to go out with me?
1296
01:19:52,040 --> 01:19:53,485
Uh...
1297
01:19:54,200 --> 01:19:58,046
Why not? I'll pick you up after work.
1298
01:19:58,200 --> 01:20:00,089
Cool.
Cool.
1299
01:20:00,240 --> 01:20:01,890
Very cool.
1300
01:20:03,400 --> 01:20:04,845
What'd he say?
1301
01:20:07,000 --> 01:20:09,241
Yes.
He did?
1302
01:20:09,400 --> 01:20:13,121
Yes! He said yes.
Technically, he said "why not."
1303
01:20:13,280 --> 01:20:14,850
But who cares about semantics.
1304
01:20:15,000 --> 01:20:19,562
Because Rusty Waters said yes to me,
Brandy Klark, and we're gonna--
1305
01:20:19,720 --> 01:20:21,802
Brandy, are you trying to do the Roger Rabbit?
1306
01:20:22,000 --> 01:20:24,571
Yeah.
That's not the Roger Rabbit.
1307
01:20:24,840 --> 01:20:26,649
This is the Roger Rabbit.
1308
01:20:30,560 --> 01:20:33,404
Maybe the Running Man would be easier for you.
1309
01:20:33,560 --> 01:20:34,641
Shit.
1310
01:20:36,640 --> 01:20:40,247
So you're taking Brandy out, huh?
I guess so.
1311
01:20:40,400 --> 01:20:43,051
Awesome. Good for her.
Still working on that sex manual.
1312
01:20:43,560 --> 01:20:46,769
Yeah-- What? Sex manual?
Oh, you didn't know?
1313
01:20:47,840 --> 01:20:49,251
Dude, check this out.
1314
01:20:49,400 --> 01:20:52,449
She's writing some sort of sex
encyclopedia or something like that.
1315
01:20:52,600 --> 01:20:55,843
It's like she can do whatever
and it's research. It's awesome.
1316
01:20:56,000 --> 01:20:59,846
She wants to have, like, a good orgasm,
and, like, it's such a mature quest.
1317
01:21:00,800 --> 01:21:03,280
Did you know about this?
No.
1318
01:21:03,440 --> 01:21:05,761
You learn something new
at the pool every day. Ha, ha.
1319
01:21:06,080 --> 01:21:07,411
Wow.
1320
01:21:08,080 --> 01:21:10,242
I look--
Good enough to fuck.
1321
01:21:10,400 --> 01:21:12,607
♫ SHAYNE BLUE: "GOOD THING"
1322
01:21:12,800 --> 01:21:14,723
I wasn't gonna put it that way, but...
1323
01:21:18,000 --> 01:21:20,606
Does it hurt the first time?
Not if you chug a beer
1324
01:21:20,760 --> 01:21:22,285
and use the lube Morn gave you.
1325
01:21:22,480 --> 01:21:26,371
She gave you the lube, right?
Yes. That was weird.
1326
01:21:27,480 --> 01:21:29,482
But helpful.
1327
01:21:30,880 --> 01:21:34,566
Hey, are you okay? I noticed
you stopped eating your SnackWells.
1328
01:21:34,720 --> 01:21:37,769
Chippy cheated on me. With strippers.
1329
01:21:39,600 --> 01:21:42,888
You gonna call off the wedding?
I want to, but he won't call me back.
1330
01:21:43,080 --> 01:21:45,401
Word of advice, don't fall in love.
1331
01:21:45,560 --> 01:21:47,483
Getting your heart broken fucking sucks.
1332
01:21:47,640 --> 01:21:49,927
Yes, so I've heard.
1333
01:21:50,680 --> 01:21:53,331
Okay.
Hey, have fun popping your cherry.
1334
01:21:54,320 --> 01:21:55,890
I Will.
1335
01:21:56,200 --> 01:21:58,328
And I want you to know that...
1336
01:21:59,040 --> 01:22:01,964
I wouldn't be having sex tonight if it weren't for you.
1337
01:22:02,120 --> 01:22:04,327
Really?
Really.
1338
01:22:05,240 --> 01:22:07,129
Thanks, Brandy, I really needed that.
1339
01:22:09,520 --> 01:22:12,569
What's it gonna feel like?
I'll figure it out.
1340
01:22:12,720 --> 01:22:14,165
Enjoy your penis.
1341
01:22:14,360 --> 01:22:16,362
♫ TONY BUNCE: "PURPLE SKY"
1342
01:22:30,920 --> 01:22:32,570
Here you go.
1343
01:22:35,040 --> 01:22:39,921
♪ Lost in the lives they left behind ♪
1344
01:22:40,400 --> 01:22:44,291
♪ The daydreamer, the only one ♪
1345
01:22:44,480 --> 01:22:47,962
♪ The only one can keep it alive ♪
1346
01:22:49,360 --> 01:22:51,727
You, uh, want another one?
1347
01:22:51,960 --> 01:22:54,770
No, thank you. One is my limit.
1348
01:22:57,960 --> 01:23:00,008
Hey, look, there's, um...
1349
01:23:00,760 --> 01:23:03,240
There's something I really wanna ask you.
1350
01:23:03,400 --> 01:23:05,084
Shoot.
1351
01:23:05,560 --> 01:23:07,642
Can I kiss you?
1352
01:23:09,000 --> 01:23:14,006
I know you can kiss me, but may you kiss me?
1353
01:23:15,280 --> 01:23:16,645
Oh.
1354
01:23:18,320 --> 01:23:20,561
What?
Forget it. You can definitely kiss me.
1355
01:23:20,760 --> 01:23:22,091
Cool.
1356
01:23:22,320 --> 01:23:27,008
♪ Sitting all alone
On the top of a mountain ♪
1357
01:23:35,800 --> 01:23:37,689
Shit, I'm coming, all right?
1358
01:23:39,120 --> 01:23:42,920
Oh. Hey, uh...? Hey, is Brandy here?
No.
1359
01:23:43,680 --> 01:23:47,446
Um... I think she might be in some
trouble and I need to talk to her.
1360
01:23:47,600 --> 01:23:49,284
Can I wait here? Is that cool?
1361
01:23:51,440 --> 01:23:53,283
You got a dick under that poncho?
1362
01:23:55,040 --> 01:23:56,280
Why?
1363
01:23:58,320 --> 01:24:00,322
♫ THE CRANBERRIES: "DREAMS"
1364
01:24:07,040 --> 01:24:09,281
Maybe we should get a condom.
1365
01:24:09,480 --> 01:24:12,689
Good idea.
Last thing we need's a baby, right?
1366
01:24:12,840 --> 01:24:14,649
Or AIDS.
1367
01:24:23,440 --> 01:24:27,331
I need to tell you something.
It's okay.
1368
01:24:27,480 --> 01:24:30,165
I know you're a virgin.
I'll be gentle, okay?
1369
01:24:30,320 --> 01:24:34,006
No, not that.
I mean, I am a virgin, but...
1370
01:24:35,480 --> 01:24:37,289
I wanna be on top.
1371
01:24:37,880 --> 01:24:40,486
It'll increase my chance of orgasm by 40 percent.
1372
01:24:41,400 --> 01:24:44,131
Those are some good odds.
1373
01:24:45,680 --> 01:24:52,245
♪ And, oh, my dreams
It's never quite as it seems ♪
1374
01:24:53,040 --> 01:24:57,011
♪ Never quite as it seems ♪
1375
01:24:57,160 --> 01:24:59,481
You good?
Yeah.
1376
01:24:59,640 --> 01:25:02,723
♪ I know I've felt like this before ♪
1377
01:25:07,840 --> 01:25:11,049
♪ Because it came from you ♪
1378
01:25:14,520 --> 01:25:19,890
♪ And then I open up and see
The person falling here is me ♪
1379
01:25:20,040 --> 01:25:23,442
Oh, God. Oh, God.
Oh, God. Oh, God.
1380
01:25:23,720 --> 01:25:28,726
Oh! Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
1381
01:25:31,920 --> 01:25:36,767
Did you just--?
Yeah. Didn't you?
1382
01:25:36,920 --> 01:25:38,604
Have an orgasm?
Yeah.
1383
01:25:38,760 --> 01:25:40,649
No. That was like less than a minute.
1384
01:25:41,720 --> 01:25:42,881
Shit.
1385
01:25:43,040 --> 01:25:46,283
♫ JAMES: "LAID"
1386
01:25:53,480 --> 01:25:55,209
♪ This bed is on fire
With passionate love ♪
1387
01:25:55,360 --> 01:25:58,569
You've gotta be kidding me.
Look, I usually last like way longer.
1388
01:25:58,720 --> 01:26:01,041
You just really got me, like, riled up, okay?
1389
01:26:01,200 --> 01:26:03,567
Just please take me home now.
1390
01:26:03,760 --> 01:26:07,481
Look, if you just wait like two minutes,
like, he'll be ready to go again.
1391
01:26:07,800 --> 01:26:09,245
I think I just saw Brandy.
1392
01:26:09,600 --> 01:26:11,045
♪ My therapist said ♪
1393
01:26:11,200 --> 01:26:17,082
Oh, no. I'm certain that's not Brandy. Brandy's
with Cameron and he drives a Ford Festiva.
1394
01:26:17,240 --> 01:26:19,049
Why are you certain she's with Cameron?
1395
01:26:19,200 --> 01:26:20,440
I gave her the lube and--
1396
01:26:20,600 --> 01:26:24,241
You gave her the lube?
You had your talk with her, didn't you?
1397
01:26:24,400 --> 01:26:26,607
Of course I did.
If I waited for you to do it,
1398
01:26:26,760 --> 01:26:29,764
she would be 40 before she has her first orgasm.
1399
01:26:29,920 --> 01:26:32,605
This is really decent of you.
It's cool of you to do this.
1400
01:26:32,760 --> 01:26:36,207
Stop talking to me.
Okay. Sorry.
1401
01:26:37,400 --> 01:26:39,721
You're just doing me a real solid, that's all.
1402
01:26:39,920 --> 01:26:43,845
I might look like a rock star, but I'm
really a pretty traditional type of guy.
1403
01:26:44,000 --> 01:26:46,480
You know, like a missionary type of guy.
1404
01:26:46,680 --> 01:26:49,206
Like a good old-fashioned
me on top, you on bottom.
1405
01:26:49,360 --> 01:26:52,443
Not like this crazy-- You're super
aggressive. I mean, come on.
1406
01:26:52,640 --> 01:26:55,405
Look, I'm a pretty sensitive dude, all right?
1407
01:26:55,600 --> 01:26:57,489
I'm a meat-and-potatoes
type of guy.
1408
01:26:57,640 --> 01:26:59,210
You jerk!
1409
01:27:00,120 --> 01:27:02,851
Cameron?
Jerk face. Ow!
1410
01:27:03,000 --> 01:27:06,800
Cameron, calm down.
Please calm down.
1411
01:27:06,960 --> 01:27:10,248
No, I will not calm down.
Did you make love with him?
1412
01:27:10,520 --> 01:27:14,286
Yeah, dude. We did it.
Put the meat right in the taco.
1413
01:27:14,440 --> 01:27:16,283
- Get off me.
- Oh, yeah.
1414
01:27:16,440 --> 01:27:18,010
I can't believe I was so stupid.
1415
01:27:20,680 --> 01:27:25,891
I get it. It's not having sex
that's a big deal, it's this.
1416
01:27:26,040 --> 01:27:29,089
All these feelings and emotional crap.
1417
01:27:29,240 --> 01:27:32,164
That's why it's better if you
leave feelings and shit out of it.
1418
01:27:32,320 --> 01:27:35,369
Feelings are everything,
Brandy. Ow!
1419
01:27:36,040 --> 01:27:39,328
Why don't you wait until you've done it once, virgin?
1420
01:27:39,520 --> 01:27:41,682
Then you'll see that sex isn't such a big deal.
1421
01:27:41,840 --> 01:27:44,650
- How do you know I haven't had sex?
- Look at you.
1422
01:27:44,800 --> 01:27:47,326
Look at you!
Hey, stop it. Stop it.
1423
01:27:47,480 --> 01:27:49,369
You're animals.
And you are wrong.
1424
01:27:49,520 --> 01:27:51,522
Yeah, you're wrong.
Feelings matter.
1425
01:27:51,680 --> 01:27:54,684
And having sex with the right person is a big deal.
1426
01:27:56,040 --> 01:28:00,682
Cameron, come here.
Look, I owe you an apology.
1427
01:28:01,200 --> 01:28:04,727
People talk about sex all the time like it's no big deal
1428
01:28:05,520 --> 01:28:10,560
but when you haven't done it, when
you're a virgin, it is a big deal.
1429
01:28:11,080 --> 01:28:15,961
And I think the list was me trying not to mess up.
1430
01:28:17,520 --> 01:28:19,807
But I did mess up.
1431
01:28:19,960 --> 01:28:24,443
I messed up when I hurt you.
And I'm really sorry.
1432
01:28:25,560 --> 01:28:29,360
Well, I still can't believe you chose Rusty over me.
1433
01:28:29,520 --> 01:28:31,887
Dude, I'm standing right here.
Shut up, Rusty.
1434
01:28:32,040 --> 01:28:34,646
You wanna go, Growing Pains?
You retarded Zack Morris.
1435
01:28:34,800 --> 01:28:37,371
Rusty, shut up.
Both of you shut up. Both of you shut up.
1436
01:28:38,040 --> 01:28:39,565
Cameron...
1437
01:28:40,240 --> 01:28:44,962
you are super nice and cute
1438
01:28:45,120 --> 01:28:48,249
and kind and reliable.
1439
01:28:48,400 --> 01:28:51,768
You're the kind of guy a girl
would love to be in a relationship with.
1440
01:28:51,920 --> 01:28:54,400
Will I regret messing that up?
Probably yes.
1441
01:28:54,560 --> 01:28:58,770
No. No. I'm a teenager.
1442
01:28:58,920 --> 01:29:01,366
Teenagers don't have regrets.
1443
01:29:01,560 --> 01:29:03,005
That's for your 30s.
1444
01:29:04,320 --> 01:29:07,927
And, Rusty, Rusty, Rusty.
1445
01:29:10,000 --> 01:29:13,209
You are superhot and ripped,
1446
01:29:13,560 --> 01:29:18,361
and you play the guitar
and I can't believe I had sex with you.
1447
01:29:19,520 --> 01:29:21,602
Am I gonna regret losing my virginity to you?
1448
01:29:21,760 --> 01:29:23,489
Probably. Most girls do.
1449
01:29:23,640 --> 01:29:25,961
No. Definitely not.
1450
01:29:26,120 --> 01:29:30,284
You are gonna be an awesome story to tell my friends.
1451
01:29:30,840 --> 01:29:32,126
All right.
1452
01:29:34,960 --> 01:29:37,008
Speaking of which,
1453
01:29:37,160 --> 01:29:39,731
that is where I should be right now.
1454
01:29:39,880 --> 01:29:42,804
With my friends. Not here.
1455
01:29:46,800 --> 01:29:48,165
♪ Here we go ♪
1456
01:29:48,400 --> 01:29:50,880
Carry on, men.
1457
01:29:51,040 --> 01:29:52,724
You're animals.
1458
01:29:52,880 --> 01:29:54,962
♪ Break it down again ♪
1459
01:29:57,000 --> 01:29:59,321
♪ So those are my dreams ♪
1460
01:30:01,800 --> 01:30:02,926
Oh, ship.
1461
01:30:03,880 --> 01:30:06,087
♪ Headstrong like a horse ♪
1462
01:30:06,240 --> 01:30:08,288
♪ When it's all mixed up
Better break it down ♪
1463
01:30:10,000 --> 01:30:12,287
Put a vibrator in her stocking, for God's sakes?
1464
01:30:12,440 --> 01:30:14,647
No, I was saving it for her birthday.
1465
01:30:14,840 --> 01:30:16,490
I'm coming, honey.
Wait.
1466
01:30:16,680 --> 01:30:19,445
Just because you have lube,
doesn't mean you have to use it.
1467
01:30:19,640 --> 01:30:26,000
Wait. Ow, ow. George.
Ow. Wait.
1468
01:30:27,800 --> 01:30:29,131
I'm really-- I'm there.
1469
01:30:31,000 --> 01:30:33,128
Amber.
Dad!
1470
01:30:33,320 --> 01:30:38,121
Dad? Hey. Hey, Mr. Klark.
Hey, I'm Willy.
1471
01:30:38,600 --> 01:30:40,011
Judge.
Judge, that's right.
1472
01:30:40,200 --> 01:30:42,282
Judge Klark.
You're a fucking judge.
1473
01:30:42,440 --> 01:30:47,207
Hey, uh, look, I'm Brandy's boss
at the pool and, uh... Um...
1474
01:30:47,440 --> 01:30:49,966
She's a great girl, by the way.
And so is this one.
1475
01:30:50,120 --> 01:30:53,442
You've raised two amazing, amazing daughters.
1476
01:30:53,600 --> 01:30:55,887
I want you off my house and out of my daughter!
1477
01:30:56,040 --> 01:30:59,044
Dad, gross.
You know what I mean.
1478
01:31:05,360 --> 01:31:07,727
Anything else I can do for you, sir?
Right now!
1479
01:31:07,880 --> 01:31:10,531
I just did it.
Amber.
1480
01:31:10,840 --> 01:31:12,729
Mom.
That's not Chip.
1481
01:31:12,880 --> 01:31:16,009
No shit, Mom.
Get the fuck out of my room!
1482
01:31:16,160 --> 01:31:20,051
No, leave it. Just leave it.
Finish up, please.
1483
01:31:20,240 --> 01:31:22,846
I'm the one who won't live to see
my daughter grow into a woman
1484
01:31:23,000 --> 01:31:25,002
who won't be able to protect her from the world.
1485
01:31:25,160 --> 01:31:29,927
And I hate it. I hate that she'd rather
be with you, who has energy, who is fun.
1486
01:31:30,200 --> 01:31:31,850
You told me to play with her.
1487
01:31:32,000 --> 01:31:34,685
I know I did, but I didn't know
it was gonna make me feel like this.
1488
01:31:34,880 --> 01:31:37,929
♪ It must have been
cold there In my shadow ♪
1489
01:31:38,080 --> 01:31:41,004
Okay, you know what? You can't handle this.
I'm turning it off.
1490
01:31:41,240 --> 01:31:42,730
No, I can handle it.
No, you can't.
1491
01:31:42,880 --> 01:31:45,247
Look at you, you're a mess.
1492
01:31:45,400 --> 01:31:47,687
♪ On your face ♪
1493
01:31:48,920 --> 01:31:52,367
♪ You were content to let me shine ♪
1494
01:31:52,520 --> 01:31:53,601
What the hell are you doing?
1495
01:31:53,760 --> 01:31:54,841
♪ That's your way ♪
1496
01:31:55,000 --> 01:31:56,604
I don't want her here.
1497
01:31:56,760 --> 01:31:58,569
She said she doesn't want you.
Get out.
1498
01:31:58,720 --> 01:32:02,122
♪ So I was the one with all the glory ♪
1499
01:32:03,520 --> 01:32:06,410
♪ But you were the ones
With all the strength ♪
1500
01:32:06,560 --> 01:32:09,291
Okay, Jesus, stop.
What's wrong with you?
1501
01:32:09,440 --> 01:32:12,569
You think you can start singing
and we're gonna forgive you?
1502
01:32:12,720 --> 01:32:14,085
It doesn't work like that, okay?
1503
01:32:14,240 --> 01:32:19,610
♪ Did you ever know
That you're my hero? ♪
1504
01:32:20,840 --> 01:32:21,921
Wendy.
1505
01:32:22,160 --> 01:32:28,008
♪ You're everything I would like to be ♪
1506
01:32:28,720 --> 01:32:34,284
♪ I can fly higher than an eagle ♪
1507
01:32:34,600 --> 01:32:39,811
♪ 'Cause you are
The wind beneath my wings ♪
1508
01:32:39,960 --> 01:32:43,806
♪ Oh, you, you, you ♪
1509
01:32:44,520 --> 01:32:48,844
♪ You are the wind beneath my wings ♪
1510
01:32:49,080 --> 01:32:52,448
Fiona.
I don't know the words.
1511
01:32:52,600 --> 01:32:55,331
Yes, you do.
Yes, you do.
1512
01:32:56,840 --> 01:33:00,083
♪ Fly ♪
1513
01:33:00,240 --> 01:33:03,926
♪ Fly ♪
1514
01:33:04,080 --> 01:33:07,846
♪ So high against the sky ♪
1515
01:33:08,000 --> 01:33:12,005
♪ So high I almost touched the sky ♪
1516
01:33:12,680 --> 01:33:18,084
♪ Thank you
Thank God for you ♪
1517
01:33:18,280 --> 01:33:23,280
♪ The wind beneath my wings ♪
1518
01:33:32,520 --> 01:33:35,251
That was super gay.
Oh, my God.
1519
01:33:35,400 --> 01:33:38,802
Don't tell anyone we did this.
I'm serious.
1520
01:33:38,960 --> 01:33:42,806
I'm really sorry, you guys.
We know. We know.
1521
01:33:42,960 --> 01:33:46,089
Also, I fucked Rusty Waters.
1522
01:33:46,240 --> 01:33:48,686
Well... Look at you.
How was it?
1523
01:33:48,840 --> 01:33:50,205
Yeah.
1524
01:33:50,360 --> 01:33:51,805
It was quick.
1525
01:33:53,560 --> 01:33:56,723
Brandy, please tell me
you were not getting pregnant tonight.
1526
01:33:56,880 --> 01:33:59,326
Don't worry, she was here.
Don't worry, she used a condom.
1527
01:34:00,720 --> 01:34:03,007
Can we please talk in the hallway, Dad?
1528
01:34:04,400 --> 01:34:06,209
It's okay.
1529
01:34:06,360 --> 01:34:07,885
- Just lie.
- I'm sorry.
1530
01:34:08,040 --> 01:34:09,610
You're gonna be okay.
1531
01:34:11,720 --> 01:34:13,210
Let me just start by saying
1532
01:34:13,360 --> 01:34:18,366
if you ever need to talk about
birth control or rubbers or--
1533
01:34:18,520 --> 01:34:20,887
Did you at least use the lube
that your mother--?
1534
01:34:21,040 --> 01:34:24,761
Dad, I don't wanna talk about that stuff with you.
1535
01:34:24,920 --> 01:34:27,764
Thank goodness.
Because neither do I. Ever.
1536
01:34:28,800 --> 01:34:32,327
I just...
I need to know that you're okay.
1537
01:34:32,520 --> 01:34:34,363
Dad, I'm fine.
1538
01:34:35,240 --> 01:34:37,004
Seriously.
1539
01:34:37,600 --> 01:34:41,810
You don't have to worry about me.
I'm afraid that's not gonna be possible.
1540
01:34:42,360 --> 01:34:45,250
Because you're my daughter and I love you.
1541
01:34:45,400 --> 01:34:48,404
[BIG HEAD TODD & THE MONSTERS' BITTERSWEET"]
1542
01:34:51,800 --> 01:34:55,407
Now, please go back to playing with your loose friends.
1543
01:34:56,560 --> 01:34:57,607
Okay, Dad.
1544
01:34:58,440 --> 01:35:04,971
♪ A little light looks through
Her bedroom window ♪
1545
01:35:06,440 --> 01:35:08,920
♪ She dances and I dream ♪
1546
01:35:10,000 --> 01:35:13,800
♪ She's not so far as she seems ♪
1547
01:35:14,080 --> 01:35:17,766
♪ Of brighter meadows
Melting sunsets ♪
1548
01:35:17,920 --> 01:35:20,287
♪ Her hair blowing in the breeze ♪
1549
01:35:22,320 --> 01:35:24,322
♪ And she can't see me watching ♪
1550
01:35:24,480 --> 01:35:27,450
Never thought
I'd see you on the guard stand.
1551
01:35:27,800 --> 01:35:30,167
♪ And I'm thinking love ♪
1552
01:35:33,640 --> 01:35:34,641
♪ Love ♪
1553
01:35:34,800 --> 01:35:37,849
Well, hello.
Hi.
1554
01:35:38,040 --> 01:35:40,486
You can't stay away from here.
1555
01:35:40,640 --> 01:35:45,931
I heard that you stopped by my house
to save me, so to speak.
1556
01:35:46,080 --> 01:35:48,003
I just wanted to come by and thank you.
1557
01:35:48,160 --> 01:35:52,449
Yeah, I tried to do the right thing, but
I ended up fucking your sister instead.
1558
01:35:53,480 --> 01:35:56,689
She's hot. Your dad walked in.
1559
01:35:56,840 --> 01:36:01,129
And my boner did not go away.
I didn't need to hear that, Willy.
1560
01:36:02,000 --> 01:36:05,527
I guess I'll be seeing you a lot now
that you're hanging out with my sister.
1561
01:36:07,440 --> 01:36:10,523
Uh, no, we're not going out or anything.
1562
01:36:10,680 --> 01:36:14,526
It's not like I didn't try, but she said something like:
1563
01:36:14,680 --> 01:36:19,368
"Fish needs a man like a woman needs a tricycle"?
1564
01:36:19,520 --> 01:36:22,046
I don't know.
Something you taught her.
1565
01:36:22,200 --> 01:36:26,888
Hey, speaking of teaching,
I never paid you for the swim lessons.
1566
01:36:27,040 --> 01:36:28,883
Wow.
You didn't think I'd give it to you, huh?
1567
01:36:29,040 --> 01:36:31,168
No, actually-Right.
1568
01:36:31,320 --> 01:36:34,722
I'm a changed man, Brandy.
1569
01:36:35,320 --> 01:36:40,963
And, if you want, if you have
nothing going on next summer,
1570
01:36:41,120 --> 01:36:43,282
you wanna come back here to work,
1571
01:36:43,560 --> 01:36:45,642
there's a manager position waiting for you.
1572
01:36:45,960 --> 01:36:49,851
Wait, what? You're quitting?
Yes.
1573
01:36:50,000 --> 01:36:52,321
You just learned how to swim.
You worked so hard.
1574
01:36:52,480 --> 01:36:55,006
Yeah, I know, but I think...
1575
01:36:55,720 --> 01:36:59,486
I think getting with Amber made me realize
that I could do better, you know?
1576
01:36:59,640 --> 01:37:02,962
Your sister's like caviar.
You're like cheese.
1577
01:37:03,120 --> 01:37:05,248
Okay, okay, Willy.
Like sharp cheddar.
1578
01:37:05,400 --> 01:37:09,564
I tasted a little caviar and I realized,
like, what the fuck am I doing in Boise?
1579
01:37:10,440 --> 01:37:14,081
So I'm gonna get out.
I'm gonna see the world,
1580
01:37:14,880 --> 01:37:16,405
and I'm gonna better myself.
1581
01:37:16,600 --> 01:37:20,844
Well, I respect that. I actually think
that's very mature of you.
1582
01:37:21,000 --> 01:37:23,765
Yeah. I'm gonna follow The Dead.
1583
01:37:24,600 --> 01:37:27,080
You know, Jerry's health isn't doing too well,
1584
01:37:27,240 --> 01:37:29,288
and I'm not getting any younger, so...
1585
01:37:32,200 --> 01:37:34,601
Totally making the right decision.
1586
01:37:47,400 --> 01:37:50,609
Ladies. Oh, Marce,
you're still homesick?
1587
01:37:50,800 --> 01:37:52,290
Uh-huh.
1588
01:37:52,440 --> 01:37:55,011
Give it another month, Marcy.
1589
01:38:02,200 --> 01:38:05,204
Hi there. Cameron.
1590
01:38:07,640 --> 01:38:10,564
It's been a while.
I know.
1591
01:38:10,720 --> 01:38:14,964
You never returned my electronic mail.
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
1592
01:38:15,120 --> 01:38:17,487
I just...
I think I needed some time.
1593
01:38:17,640 --> 01:38:23,044
I understand. And I'm sorry too.
That night was really crazy.
1594
01:38:23,880 --> 01:38:26,645
But I'm glad that we, like, never had sex.
1595
01:38:26,800 --> 01:38:28,165
Mm-hm.
1596
01:38:28,320 --> 01:38:30,322
I think it would've confused our friendship.
1597
01:38:30,480 --> 01:38:31,811
I know what you mean.
1598
01:38:32,440 --> 01:38:34,329
You do?
Yes.
1599
01:38:34,480 --> 01:38:39,691
Really?
Mm-hm. I did it. I had sex.
1600
01:38:40,200 --> 01:38:41,247
Wow.
1601
01:38:41,400 --> 01:38:44,324
My roommate and I went out,
a drunk senior came up to me and said:
1602
01:38:44,520 --> 01:38:46,170
"You a freshman?"
I was like, "Yeah."
1603
01:38:46,320 --> 01:38:48,561
Next thing you know, I'm losing it on the bathroom floor.
1604
01:38:48,720 --> 01:38:52,327
Whoa. She just up and took it.
She just up and took it. Heh.
1605
01:38:52,960 --> 01:38:55,531
Yeah, but all that to say, I just want you to know
1606
01:38:55,680 --> 01:38:57,921
that I know what you meant that night.
1607
01:38:58,080 --> 01:39:00,845
That sex is a big deal, but it's also not a big deal.
1608
01:39:01,000 --> 01:39:04,322
Don't get me wrong, it's a big deal,
but it doesn't have to be such a big deal.
1609
01:39:04,480 --> 01:39:06,369
No, it doesn't.
1610
01:39:06,520 --> 01:39:09,490
I guess what I mean is, sometimes sex is just sex.
1611
01:39:09,760 --> 01:39:12,650
Yeah, sometimes sex is just sex.
1612
01:39:12,840 --> 01:39:14,842
♫ ROSS GIDNEY: "ONE TIME LOOKER"
1613
01:39:18,960 --> 01:39:21,486
Yay. Yay. YaY-
1614
01:39:21,680 --> 01:39:23,728
Little circles. Little circles.
1615
01:39:24,240 --> 01:39:26,641
Wait, I have an idea.
1616
01:39:30,560 --> 01:39:34,167
Oh, my God. Yes.
Cameron, it's happening.
1617
01:39:34,360 --> 01:39:35,964
Cameron, it's gonna happen.
1618
01:39:41,760 --> 01:39:46,163
♪ One time lookers, you and me
And that's the way it's meant to be ♪
1619
01:39:46,320 --> 01:39:48,084
♪ 'Cause the hi-fi radio ♪
1620
01:39:48,240 --> 01:39:51,403
Hey, they're doing a clambake with--
Dad?
1621
01:39:52,240 --> 01:39:54,481
I said, not the back door.
1622
01:39:54,640 --> 01:39:58,167
There's doors we don't do.
The back door's one of them.
1623
01:39:58,560 --> 01:40:00,369
We went over this.
1624
01:40:01,640 --> 01:40:04,120
♪ But will you come home with me? ♪
1625
01:40:05,880 --> 01:40:06,927
Good job, Cameron.
1626
01:40:07,080 --> 01:40:08,241
♪ You can't touch this ♪
1627
01:40:10,640 --> 01:40:11,766
♪ You can't touch this ♪
1628
01:40:14,120 --> 01:40:15,326
♪ You can't touch this ♪
1629
01:40:17,800 --> 01:40:19,086
♪ You can't touch this ♪
1630
01:40:20,400 --> 01:40:23,768
♪ My, my, my, my
Music hits me so hard ♪
1631
01:40:23,920 --> 01:40:25,604
♪ Makes me say "Oh, my Lord" ♪
1632
01:40:25,760 --> 01:40:27,250
♪ Thank you for blessing me ♪
1633
01:40:27,400 --> 01:40:29,164
♪ With a mind to rhyme
And two hype feet ♪
1634
01:40:29,320 --> 01:40:31,049
♪ It feels good
When you know you're down ♪
1635
01:40:31,200 --> 01:40:32,770
♪ A super dope homeboy
From the Oaktown ♪
1636
01:40:32,960 --> 01:40:36,726
♪ And I'm known as such
And this is a beat, uh, you can't touch ♪
1637
01:40:37,600 --> 01:40:40,490
♪ I told you, homeboy
You can't touch this ♪
1638
01:40:41,160 --> 01:40:43,003
♪ Yeah, that's how we living
And you know ♪
1639
01:40:43,160 --> 01:40:44,241
♪ You can't touch this ♪
1640
01:40:44,840 --> 01:40:47,650
♪ Look at my eyes, man
You can't touch this ♪
1641
01:40:48,880 --> 01:40:50,962
♪ Yo, let me bust the funky lyrics
You can't touch this ♪
1642
01:40:51,120 --> 01:40:53,202
♪ Fresh new kicks, advance
You gotta like that ♪
1643
01:40:53,400 --> 01:40:55,289
♪ Now you know you wanna dance
So move ♪
1644
01:40:55,480 --> 01:40:57,767
♪ Out of your seat
And get a fly girl and catch this beat ♪
1645
01:40:57,920 --> 01:40:59,729
♪ While it's rolling, hold on ♪
1646
01:40:59,880 --> 01:41:01,370
♪ Pump a little bit
And let her know it's going on ♪
1647
01:41:01,520 --> 01:41:03,443
♪ Like that, like that ♪
1648
01:41:03,600 --> 01:41:04,965
♪ Cold on a mission so fall 'em back ♪
1649
01:41:05,160 --> 01:41:06,969
♪ Let 'em know
That you're too much ♪
1650
01:41:07,160 --> 01:41:09,162
♪ And this is a beat, uh
They can't touch ♪
1651
01:41:11,880 --> 01:41:13,006
♪ You can't touch this ♪
1652
01:41:14,240 --> 01:41:16,686
♪ Yeah
You can't touch this ♪
1653
01:41:17,840 --> 01:41:20,491
♪ I told you
You can't touch this ♪
1654
01:41:22,240 --> 01:41:23,924
♪ Too hype, can't touch this ♪
1655
01:41:25,000 --> 01:41:27,480
♪ Yeah, we out of here
Can't touch this ♪
1656
01:41:34,840 --> 01:41:36,842
♫ THE CRANBERRIES: "DREAMS"
1657
01:42:07,120 --> 01:42:14,049
♪ Oh, my life is changing every day ♪
1658
01:42:14,200 --> 01:42:17,602
♪ In every possible way ♪
1659
01:42:21,880 --> 01:42:29,128
♪ And, oh, my dreams
It's never quite as it seems ♪
1660
01:42:29,400 --> 01:42:33,041
♪ Never quite as it seems ♪
1661
01:42:35,840 --> 01:42:43,406
♪ I know I've felt like this before
But now I'm feeling it even more ♪
1662
01:42:44,280 --> 01:42:47,170
♪ Because it came from you ♪
1663
01:42:50,920 --> 01:42:54,402
♪ Then I open up and see ♪
1664
01:42:54,600 --> 01:42:58,241
♪ The person falling here is me ♪
1665
01:42:59,040 --> 01:43:01,884
♪ A different way to be ♪
1666
01:43:21,680 --> 01:43:28,529
♪ I want more
Impossible to ignore ♪
1667
01:43:29,120 --> 01:43:32,203
♪ Impossible to ignore ♪
1668
01:43:37,786 --> 01:44:30,420
Encoded by PRiSTiNE.
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