1
00:00:27,539 --> 00:00:29,808
- Action.
- Design.

2
00:00:34,878 --> 00:00:37,337
♪ Ding, dong, ding ♪

3
00:00:38,505 --> 00:00:41,275
♪ Ding, dong, ding ♪

4
00:00:48,054 --> 00:00:51,199
♪ Have a holly jolly Christmas ♪

5
00:00:51,223 --> 00:00:54,517
♪ It's the best time
of the year ♪

6
00:00:55,518 --> 00:00:59,038
♪ I don't know
if there'll be snow ♪

7
00:00:59,062 --> 00:01:01,708
♪ But have a cup of cheer ♪

8
00:01:01,732 --> 00:01:05,002
♪ Have a holly jolly Christmas ♪

9
00:01:05,026 --> 00:01:07,819
♪ And when you walk
down the street... ♪

10
00:01:09,654 --> 00:01:11,923
Another one?

11
00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:15,927
Well, I'm still vertical,
so I'd like to change that.

12
00:01:15,951 --> 00:01:19,179
♪ Oh, ho, the mistletoe ♪

13
00:01:19,203 --> 00:01:21,872
♪ Hung where you can see ♪

14
00:01:22,706 --> 00:01:24,934
♪ Somebody waits for you... ♪

15
00:01:24,958 --> 00:01:27,185
Ho, ho.

16
00:01:28,711 --> 00:01:30,962
Bitter. Pint.

17
00:01:31,963 --> 00:01:33,733
You just get off?

18
00:01:33,757 --> 00:01:36,359
♪ And in case you didn't hear ♪

19
00:01:36,383 --> 00:01:38,819
♪ Oh, by golly,
have a holly... ♪

20
00:01:38,843 --> 00:01:40,738
I'm taking a break.

21
00:01:40,762 --> 00:01:42,906
Between shifts,
I guess you could say.

22
00:01:42,930 --> 00:01:44,490
- Hmm.
- You ain't driving, are you?

23
00:01:44,514 --> 00:01:47,534
I steer a little, but the
reindeer do most of the work.

24
00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:51,871
Mm-hmm.

25
00:01:51,895 --> 00:01:54,081
This is my, uh,
fourth year as a Santa.

26
00:01:54,105 --> 00:01:55,374
Ah.

27
00:01:55,398 --> 00:01:56,625
How about you?

28
00:01:56,649 --> 00:01:58,710
Lost count.

29
00:01:58,734 --> 00:02:01,879
I forget why I started doing it
in the first place.

30
00:02:01,903 --> 00:02:05,173
Same reason anybody
does anything.

31
00:02:05,197 --> 00:02:06,966
The money.

32
00:02:06,990 --> 00:02:09,635
Money. Money.

33
00:02:09,659 --> 00:02:11,637
This whole planet runs on greed.

34
00:02:16,331 --> 00:02:18,767
It's the look on
the kiddies' faces, innit?

35
00:02:18,791 --> 00:02:20,393
That's what does it for me.

36
00:02:20,417 --> 00:02:24,063
Ah, the look. Yeah, that look.

37
00:02:24,087 --> 00:02:26,273
Lasts about two seconds.

38
00:02:26,297 --> 00:02:28,691
As soon as they're finished
unwrapping,

39
00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:31,152
they want the next present,

40
00:02:31,176 --> 00:02:33,904
they want the next cool thing.

41
00:02:33,928 --> 00:02:35,905
That's how this world works.

42
00:02:35,929 --> 00:02:37,949
And kids...
What kids have become.

43
00:02:37,973 --> 00:02:42,118
They're just like
little junkies.

44
00:02:42,142 --> 00:02:44,787
They're little shits.
They just demand.

45
00:02:44,811 --> 00:02:46,330
They don't believe.

46
00:02:46,354 --> 00:02:50,041
They just want, crave, consume.

47
00:02:55,069 --> 00:02:57,547
Maybe this is my last year.

48
00:02:59,656 --> 00:03:01,825
The last Christmas.

49
00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:08,889
Well, I can't stand seeing
another Santa in distress.

50
00:03:10,081 --> 00:03:11,683
Put his drinks on my tab.

51
00:03:11,707 --> 00:03:13,142
- Okay?
- Yeah.

52
00:03:13,166 --> 00:03:15,769
Oh, very merry of you. Okay.

53
00:03:15,793 --> 00:03:18,188
I better get going.

54
00:03:18,212 --> 00:03:20,398
Presents aren't gonna
deliver themselves.

55
00:03:21,589 --> 00:03:23,442
Oh, uh...

56
00:03:23,466 --> 00:03:25,318
For your grandson.
Save me a trip.

57
00:03:25,342 --> 00:03:27,362
It's, uh, that new video game.

58
00:03:27,386 --> 00:03:30,072
It's Astro Blaster,
Blaster Astro.

59
00:03:30,096 --> 00:03:32,074
I-I don't know.

60
00:03:32,098 --> 00:03:33,449
Merry Christmas.

61
00:03:33,473 --> 00:03:35,952
How'd he know
my grandson's name?

62
00:03:35,976 --> 00:03:39,162
How'd he know I have
a grandson? -

63
00:03:39,186 --> 00:03:43,457
Oi! That door leads to the roof.

64
00:03:43,481 --> 00:03:44,792
Piss head.

65
00:03:44,816 --> 00:03:47,359
Go easy on him. It's Christmas.

66
00:03:49,528 --> 00:03:52,881
Hey! You can't be up here.

67
00:03:52,905 --> 00:03:56,551
If you break your neck,
I'm the one...

68
00:04:16,424 --> 00:04:18,842
My God.

69
00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:25,657
It's...

70
00:04:27,724 --> 00:04:29,184
beauti...

71
00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:18,198
Hi. Hi, hi, hi.

72
00:05:18,222 --> 00:05:20,556
There she is. Hello, muffin.

73
00:05:21,599 --> 00:05:23,892
Let's go see Grandma.

74
00:05:25,644 --> 00:05:27,038
Ooh.

75
00:05:27,062 --> 00:05:29,313
Merry Christmas.

76
00:05:31,649 --> 00:05:33,209
Merry Christmas, Trudy.

77
00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:34,293
Merry...

78
00:05:34,317 --> 00:05:36,045
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah!

79
00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:39,464
Merry Christmas, Daddy,
ya filthy animal.

80
00:05:40,906 --> 00:05:43,050
She got to stay up late
and watch Home Alone.

81
00:05:43,074 --> 00:05:44,134
Uh-huh.

82
00:05:44,158 --> 00:05:47,053
It was so funny.

83
00:05:47,077 --> 00:05:49,514
- Yep.
- That... that hurts.

84
00:05:49,538 --> 00:05:51,056
- All morning.
- Okay, um...

85
00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:53,124
Thank you.

86
00:05:54,041 --> 00:05:56,018
For doing this.

87
00:05:56,042 --> 00:05:58,253
I'm not doing it for you.

88
00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:02,023
- It's Christmas!
- Yeah!

89
00:06:21,270 --> 00:06:22,914
Merry Christmas, Al.

90
00:06:22,938 --> 00:06:24,749
Hi, Linda. Merry Christmas.

91
00:06:24,773 --> 00:06:26,792
- Mr. Lightstone.
- Hey, Al.

92
00:06:26,816 --> 00:06:28,168
Hey, you back there, Tru?

93
00:06:28,192 --> 00:06:29,919
Yeah, I bet you're excited
for Christmas.

94
00:06:29,943 --> 00:06:31,629
What did you ask Santa for?

95
00:06:31,653 --> 00:06:33,381
Not to work on Christmas Eve.

96
00:06:33,405 --> 00:06:34,965
Must've been naughty this year,

97
00:06:34,989 --> 00:06:36,591
- 'cause here I am.
- Mm-hmm.

98
00:06:36,615 --> 00:06:38,592
Just make sure you let Santa
through the gates later, Al.

99
00:06:38,616 --> 00:06:40,136
- Yeah.
- Have a merry one, now.

100
00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:42,138
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas, Al.

101
00:06:42,162 --> 00:06:44,180
Merry Christmas, Tru.

102
00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:45,723
- Thank you, Al.
- Yeah.

103
00:07:08,557 --> 00:07:11,309
I can't remember
where the second one is.

104
00:07:14,352 --> 00:07:16,455
Ho, ho, ho, ho.

105
00:07:16,479 --> 00:07:18,206
Merry Christmas.

106
00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:20,292
Hope you're on the nice list.

107
00:07:20,316 --> 00:07:23,043
That doesn't go over there.

108
00:07:30,824 --> 00:07:32,426
Excuse me.

109
00:07:36,661 --> 00:07:38,472
What the hell is this?

110
00:07:38,496 --> 00:07:40,849
You are the worst
catering company on the planet.

111
00:07:40,873 --> 00:07:42,851
It's lengthwise, not width.

112
00:07:42,875 --> 00:07:44,727
Unbelievable.

113
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:02,324
Okay.

114
00:08:02,348 --> 00:08:04,534
Hi. Hi, guys. Merry Christmas.

115
00:08:04,558 --> 00:08:06,494
- Hi.
- I'm fine. Thank you so much.

116
00:08:09,103 --> 00:08:13,106
I'll never get over the fact
that you grew up like this.

117
00:08:14,233 --> 00:08:16,692
My therapist says
I'll never get over it, either.

118
00:08:17,693 --> 00:08:18,879
I need a drink.

119
00:08:18,903 --> 00:08:20,338
♪ Two turtledoves ♪

120
00:08:20,362 --> 00:08:23,424
♪ And a partridge
in a pear tree... ♪

121
00:08:23,448 --> 00:08:26,700
Hey, look at that.

122
00:08:35,666 --> 00:08:37,435
Hi, Linda.

123
00:08:37,459 --> 00:08:39,478
- Hey.
- How's it going, Alva?

124
00:08:39,502 --> 00:08:41,396
Mm-hmm. You gained weight.

125
00:08:41,420 --> 00:08:44,273
Looks good on you, though.

126
00:08:44,297 --> 00:08:46,192
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.

127
00:08:46,216 --> 00:08:47,901
'Sup, limp dick?

128
00:08:49,385 --> 00:08:51,028
I got great feelings
about this Christmas.

129
00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:53,197
- You want to know why?
- Yeah.

130
00:08:53,221 --> 00:08:55,198
'Cause I think this is the year

131
00:08:55,222 --> 00:08:56,991
that Mom's gonna
kick herself upstairs

132
00:08:57,015 --> 00:08:59,701
and choose one of us
to start running the show.

133
00:08:59,725 --> 00:09:04,205
And I got to tell you, Jason,
that I'm gunning for your ass.

134
00:09:05,647 --> 00:09:07,416
What would a Lightstone
family Christmas be

135
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,209
without groveling
and infighting?

136
00:09:10,567 --> 00:09:12,254
Your rosé, ma'am.

137
00:09:12,278 --> 00:09:15,005
Honey, smile. It's Christmas.

138
00:09:15,029 --> 00:09:16,131
Mm.

139
00:09:16,155 --> 00:09:17,715
Good. Good girl.

140
00:09:20,117 --> 00:09:23,220
I am sorry about my sister.

141
00:09:23,244 --> 00:09:25,722
♪ Making spirits bright ♪

142
00:09:25,746 --> 00:09:28,599
♪ What fun it is
to ride and sing... ♪

143
00:09:28,623 --> 00:09:31,083
It is really nice to see you.

144
00:09:32,918 --> 00:09:35,187
To have you here.

145
00:09:35,211 --> 00:09:38,440
♪ Jingle all the way... ♪

146
00:09:38,464 --> 00:09:41,901
Okay, I'm behind. Catch me up
on all the hot goss.

147
00:09:41,925 --> 00:09:43,735
Hot goss. Okay.

148
00:09:43,759 --> 00:09:47,531
Um, well, you remember Bert,
my sister's pride and joy.

149
00:09:47,555 --> 00:09:51,367
Yo, yo, yo.
This is the Bert Locker

150
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:55,245
living that bling life
on Christmas Eve.

151
00:09:56,854 --> 00:09:58,247
Hashtag "blessed."

152
00:09:58,271 --> 00:10:00,791
He just got
what I can only assume

153
00:10:00,815 --> 00:10:04,085
will be his first of many
sexual harassment accusations.

154
00:10:04,109 --> 00:10:05,752
Mom paid off the school,

155
00:10:05,776 --> 00:10:07,921
and now the gymnasium
is named after us.

156
00:10:07,945 --> 00:10:09,923
Of course she did.

157
00:10:09,947 --> 00:10:11,048
What about Tragic Mike?

158
00:10:11,072 --> 00:10:12,842
All I'm saying is,

159
00:10:12,866 --> 00:10:14,510
if I was on one of those planes,

160
00:10:14,534 --> 00:10:16,511
9/11 would've ended
with a bunch of terrorists

161
00:10:16,535 --> 00:10:20,264
skydiving over Connecticut
without their parachutes.

162
00:10:20,288 --> 00:10:22,308
- Yeah. You like that?
- Yes. Yes.

163
00:10:22,332 --> 00:10:24,517
- Yeah, I do like it.
- Ooh.

164
00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:26,936
- Kiss me in front of my son.
- Now, huh?

165
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,479
Mm...

166
00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:31,523
He might actually be
a decent actor.

167
00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:33,607
- Hmm. -He's been doing
an Oscar-worthy job

168
00:10:33,631 --> 00:10:36,193
- of pretending to find
my sister appealing. -

169
00:10:36,217 --> 00:10:38,695
Now he wants Mom
to fund a film for him.

170
00:10:41,637 --> 00:10:43,615
- It's Gertrude!
- It's Mom.

171
00:10:43,639 --> 00:10:45,658
- Okay, let's do this.
- Okay, okay. Come on.

172
00:10:45,682 --> 00:10:47,368
- Come on. Bert, get over here.
- No. Mom. Mom!

173
00:10:47,392 --> 00:10:48,619
- Positions.
- Game time, buddy.

174
00:10:48,643 --> 00:10:50,454
- Okay. Okay.
- This is my good side.

175
00:10:50,478 --> 00:10:52,247
I'm busy. -ALVA:
We've gone over this! Come on!

176
00:10:52,271 --> 00:10:53,373
Gosh. Okay.

177
00:10:53,397 --> 00:10:54,540
Bert, get in the middle.

178
00:10:54,564 --> 00:10:55,791
So it begins.

179
00:10:55,815 --> 00:10:57,918
Seriously, come.
You know what that means.

180
00:10:57,942 --> 00:11:00,003
Shall we jockey forward?

181
00:11:00,027 --> 00:11:01,779
No.

182
00:11:02,946 --> 00:11:05,507
No, we can hang back.

183
00:11:05,531 --> 00:11:06,967
Yeah.

184
00:11:06,991 --> 00:11:08,617
Trudy, honey?

185
00:11:10,327 --> 00:11:11,554
Come on over here.

186
00:11:13,037 --> 00:11:15,182
Just, like...

187
00:11:15,206 --> 00:11:16,974
Threaten 'em or bribe 'em.

188
00:11:16,998 --> 00:11:18,267
This isn't rocket science.

189
00:11:18,291 --> 00:11:19,834
Same shit we always do.

190
00:11:21,335 --> 00:11:22,645
That's what?

191
00:11:22,669 --> 00:11:25,106
That's the best you can do?

192
00:11:25,130 --> 00:11:26,982
Excited to see your grandma?

193
00:11:27,006 --> 00:11:28,317
Listen, you cocksucker.

194
00:11:28,341 --> 00:11:30,276
It's Christmas,
so why don't you take

195
00:11:30,300 --> 00:11:32,195
your best offer, gift wrap it,

196
00:11:32,219 --> 00:11:35,155
and ram it up your fucking box.

197
00:11:36,514 --> 00:11:38,824
Maybe you don't
realize who I am.

198
00:11:38,848 --> 00:11:40,409
Those were Grandma words.
You know, forget them.

199
00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:42,244
Oh, boy.
Look at Mr. Cool back here.

200
00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:44,496
Yeah, what's your angle, man?
Hmm?

201
00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:47,123
No angle.
I'm not doing anything.

202
00:11:47,147 --> 00:11:48,582
Oh, yeah.

203
00:11:48,606 --> 00:11:50,167
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no. No!

204
00:11:50,191 --> 00:11:53,211
Don't shit in my mouth
and tell me it's chocolate cake.

205
00:11:53,235 --> 00:11:54,504
Grandma's cool.

206
00:11:54,528 --> 00:11:56,797
I can make that story go away...

207
00:11:56,821 --> 00:11:58,507
I think your brother's
up to something.

208
00:11:58,531 --> 00:12:00,300
No, I just decided
to let you guys

209
00:12:00,324 --> 00:12:02,176
have all the fun
sucking up to Mom today.

210
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,969
Please. You are King Suck-up.

211
00:12:04,993 --> 00:12:07,013
You named your kid Gertrude.

212
00:12:08,414 --> 00:12:10,682
Alva, you named
your son Bertrude.

213
00:12:10,706 --> 00:12:12,684
Okay.

214
00:12:12,708 --> 00:12:14,394
Sorry, Bert,
but that's not a real name.

215
00:12:14,418 --> 00:12:17,230
Sorry, Linda. We can't all be
lucky enough to have daughters.

216
00:12:17,254 --> 00:12:19,255
Mom, I can hear you.

217
00:12:20,381 --> 00:12:22,942
You know something we don't.
What is it?

218
00:12:22,966 --> 00:12:24,402
No, I don't. I don't.

219
00:12:24,426 --> 00:12:25,653
I got it. Bingo.

220
00:12:25,677 --> 00:12:27,070
I'm onto you, man. Come on!

221
00:12:27,094 --> 00:12:28,696
- We were just...
- Come on,

222
00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:29,948
come on, come on, come on.

223
00:12:29,972 --> 00:12:32,241
- You big sack of shit.
- Ooh.

224
00:12:32,265 --> 00:12:34,076
No wonder your husband left you.

225
00:12:34,100 --> 00:12:36,351
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

226
00:12:37,394 --> 00:12:39,729
Merry Christmas to you, too,
Senator.

227
00:12:40,563 --> 00:12:42,332
- Merry Christmas, Mommy.
- Merry Christmas.

228
00:12:43,691 --> 00:12:45,209
Merry Christmas.

229
00:12:45,233 --> 00:12:47,986
Why in the hell are you standing
all the way back there?

230
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,797
Merry Christmas, Grandma!

231
00:12:50,821 --> 00:12:52,882
- Aw.
- Little bitch.

232
00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:55,426
Little Gertrude. And how is
my favorite granddaughter?

233
00:12:55,450 --> 00:12:57,969
Everybody calls me Trudy now.

234
00:12:57,993 --> 00:12:59,661
Trudy?

235
00:13:00,996 --> 00:13:03,098
- Well, that makes her
sound like a whore. -Okay.

236
00:13:03,122 --> 00:13:05,851
Oh, she doesn't even know
the meaning of the word.

237
00:13:05,875 --> 00:13:08,185
I'm starving. Let's eat.

238
00:13:08,209 --> 00:13:09,645
Great.

239
00:13:09,669 --> 00:13:12,147
And, Mom, I think Gertrude
is a beautiful name.

240
00:13:12,171 --> 00:13:14,441
Mm-hmm.
I only call her Gertrude.

241
00:13:14,465 --> 00:13:15,732
- Merry Christmas, Gertrude.
- Come on, Bertrude.

242
00:13:15,756 --> 00:13:19,486
♪ When the kids
are fast asleep ♪

243
00:13:19,510 --> 00:13:22,155
♪ Gently down the stairs
we'll creep ♪

244
00:13:23,805 --> 00:13:26,658
♪ Then we'll lock and bolt
all the doors ♪

245
00:13:26,682 --> 00:13:30,286
♪ Just you and me
and Santa Claus ♪

246
00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:34,581
♪ We'll be as quiet
as quiet can be ♪

247
00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:37,875
♪ Planting toys under the tree ♪

248
00:13:37,899 --> 00:13:41,670
♪ We'll be crawling around
on all fours ♪

249
00:13:41,694 --> 00:13:43,463
♪ Just you and me ♪

250
00:13:43,487 --> 00:13:46,090
♪ And Santa Claus ♪

251
00:13:53,453 --> 00:13:55,429
♪ For soon will be ♪

252
00:13:55,453 --> 00:13:57,098
♪ That magic time ♪

253
00:13:57,122 --> 00:13:59,766
♪ When we hear
that midnight chime ♪

254
00:14:01,584 --> 00:14:03,270
♪ When that flying sleigh ♪

255
00:14:03,294 --> 00:14:05,563
♪ Finally flies away ♪

256
00:14:05,587 --> 00:14:08,773
♪ We'll have a very merry
Christmas Day ♪

257
00:14:08,797 --> 00:14:13,277
♪ We'll raise a toast
to the team with the most ♪

258
00:14:13,301 --> 00:14:16,614
♪ The best there ever was ♪

259
00:14:16,638 --> 00:14:20,617
♪ You and me
and Santa Claus... ♪

260
00:14:20,641 --> 00:14:23,476
Another fucking Christmas.

261
00:14:26,811 --> 00:14:28,539
I made these all by myself.

262
00:14:28,563 --> 00:14:30,124
- No way.
- Mm-hmm.

263
00:14:30,148 --> 00:14:32,292
I even made one
that looks exactly like Santa.

264
00:14:32,316 --> 00:14:34,818
- Exactly.
- Yeah.

265
00:14:35,652 --> 00:14:37,171
Santa gets a candy cane, too?

266
00:14:37,195 --> 00:14:38,422
Yeah.

267
00:14:38,446 --> 00:14:39,947
Mm, okay.

268
00:14:41,323 --> 00:14:42,967
It's perfect.

269
00:14:42,991 --> 00:14:44,635
No peeking.

270
00:14:44,659 --> 00:14:47,095
This house has so many chimneys.

271
00:14:48,620 --> 00:14:50,640
How will Santa know
which one to come down?

272
00:14:50,664 --> 00:14:52,516
Oh, Santa just knows.

273
00:14:52,540 --> 00:14:54,333
Christmas magic.

274
00:14:57,293 --> 00:14:58,979
Honey, what's wrong?

275
00:14:59,003 --> 00:15:02,506
Daddy never took me to see
Santa at the mall this year.

276
00:15:03,298 --> 00:15:05,509
He didn't.

277
00:15:07,885 --> 00:15:09,887
I am so sorry.

278
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,616
This year has been weird.

279
00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:17,327
I never got to tell Santa
what I wanted for Christmas.

280
00:15:17,351 --> 00:15:19,852
Oh, honey. Come here.

281
00:15:23,522 --> 00:15:26,125
You know what?

282
00:15:26,149 --> 00:15:30,337
You go put your pj's on,

283
00:15:30,361 --> 00:15:33,446
and I will be two minutes.

284
00:15:39,243 --> 00:15:41,536
Yes!

285
00:15:42,996 --> 00:15:45,391
Okay...

286
00:15:53,337 --> 00:15:55,022
Yes.

287
00:15:58,882 --> 00:16:00,718
Yes!

288
00:16:02,177 --> 00:16:06,574
Because you have been so good
to me and Mommy this year,

289
00:16:06,598 --> 00:16:10,535
we decided that
you could have one gift...

290
00:16:10,559 --> 00:16:12,411
early!

291
00:16:12,435 --> 00:16:14,895
Really?

292
00:16:18,940 --> 00:16:21,025
What is it?

293
00:16:22,943 --> 00:16:26,505
That is a very special
walkie-talkie.

294
00:16:26,529 --> 00:16:28,048
It's magic.

295
00:16:28,072 --> 00:16:29,341
- Magic?
- Mm-hmm.

296
00:16:29,365 --> 00:16:31,551
What you got right there

297
00:16:31,575 --> 00:16:33,928
is a direct hotline
to Santa Claus himself.

298
00:16:33,952 --> 00:16:36,680
- I can talk to Santa?
- Oh, yeah.

299
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:40,516
It's just like writing him
a letter... but better.

300
00:16:40,540 --> 00:16:41,642
Mm-hmm.

301
00:16:41,666 --> 00:16:44,436
Now, the only thing is,

302
00:16:44,460 --> 00:16:46,813
he might not have time
to answer you.

303
00:16:46,837 --> 00:16:48,856
He's delivering a lot
of presents tonight.

304
00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:50,190
Mm-hmm.

305
00:16:50,214 --> 00:16:52,799
But he'll hear everything
you want to say to him.

306
00:16:59,263 --> 00:17:01,073
Hello, Santa?

307
00:17:01,097 --> 00:17:04,535
This is Trudy Lightstone.

308
00:17:04,559 --> 00:17:06,578
I hope you're having
a nice night.

309
00:17:06,602 --> 00:17:08,747
Mm.

310
00:17:08,771 --> 00:17:13,524
It's really cold tonight,
so don't forget your mittens.

311
00:17:14,358 --> 00:17:17,629
So, I wanted to tell you, Santa,

312
00:17:17,653 --> 00:17:19,421
I was extra good this year,

313
00:17:19,445 --> 00:17:23,615
so I wrote a big list for you
with all the stuff I wanted.

314
00:17:24,949 --> 00:17:26,802
But then...

315
00:17:26,826 --> 00:17:30,245
then I realized
I don't need any of that.

316
00:17:31,163 --> 00:17:34,874
I really only want
one present for Christmas.

317
00:17:36,541 --> 00:17:40,187
I want Mommy and Daddy
to make up

318
00:17:40,211 --> 00:17:42,630
so we can be a family again.

319
00:17:43,839 --> 00:17:45,483
Okay.

320
00:17:45,507 --> 00:17:47,676
Good night, Santa.

321
00:17:48,843 --> 00:17:50,969
Good night, Mr. Bunny.

322
00:18:03,396 --> 00:18:05,123
Which one of you did that?

323
00:18:06,482 --> 00:18:07,792
You can't go two seconds without

324
00:18:07,816 --> 00:18:09,627
crapping on the roof
like a bunch of pigeons?

325
00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:14,488
So unprofessional.

326
00:18:17,073 --> 00:18:19,784
You know, Rudolph
will never do this crap.

327
00:18:33,002 --> 00:18:34,670
Hmm.

328
00:18:38,965 --> 00:18:40,758
Mmm.

329
00:18:47,430 --> 00:18:49,682
Mmm, mmm.

330
00:18:50,683 --> 00:18:52,993
Homemade.

331
00:18:53,017 --> 00:18:54,370
Mmm.

332
00:18:58,230 --> 00:19:00,207
Ugh.

333
00:19:00,231 --> 00:19:01,816
Skim.

334
00:19:12,074 --> 00:19:13,634
Oh, yeah.

335
00:19:13,658 --> 00:19:15,785
That's the stuff.

336
00:19:20,205 --> 00:19:22,123
Mmm.

337
00:19:23,124 --> 00:19:24,852
DuBoi...

338
00:19:24,876 --> 00:19:27,854
- On some prewar shit
right there. -

339
00:19:27,878 --> 00:19:30,297
Good shit.

340
00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:43,533
Mmm.

341
00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:45,200
That pairs well.

342
00:19:45,224 --> 00:19:47,894
What do we have here?

343
00:20:04,114 --> 00:20:05,799
Oh, yeah.

344
00:20:05,823 --> 00:20:07,909
That's the stuff.

345
00:20:16,832 --> 00:20:19,894
You know, uh...

346
00:20:19,918 --> 00:20:22,897
Christmas is all right,

347
00:20:22,921 --> 00:20:26,590
but you Americans don't
celebrate my favorite holiday.

348
00:20:27,424 --> 00:20:29,234
Oh, yeah? What?

349
00:20:29,258 --> 00:20:30,885
Boxing Day.

350
00:21:04,118 --> 00:21:05,763
Yo, yo. B. Lightstone here,

351
00:21:05,787 --> 00:21:07,555
live streaming the dream,
you know.

352
00:21:07,579 --> 00:21:10,123
They say the richest man...

353
00:21:11,291 --> 00:21:12,893
Say goodbye.

354
00:21:12,917 --> 00:21:14,877
And if you...

355
00:21:16,045 --> 00:21:19,023
Grandma! Your Wi-Fi sucks dick.

356
00:21:19,047 --> 00:21:20,691
Damn it!

357
00:21:20,715 --> 00:21:23,276
When he was small,
I begged you to beat him.

358
00:21:40,772 --> 00:21:42,750
Hey. Merry Christmas.

359
00:21:42,774 --> 00:21:44,417
Or should I say
"happy holidays" now?

360
00:21:44,441 --> 00:21:46,461
Right? I mean, it's like,
people, make up your minds.

361
00:21:46,485 --> 00:21:48,712
- You know what I'm saying?
- Can I help you?

362
00:21:48,736 --> 00:21:50,673
Oh, yeah. I sure hope so.
See, uh,

363
00:21:50,697 --> 00:21:52,298
my car broke down
a little ways...

364
00:21:52,322 --> 00:21:54,133
Out here?
This is a private road.

365
00:21:54,157 --> 00:21:56,134
You're telling me.

366
00:21:56,158 --> 00:21:58,428
It's the first place
I've seen for miles.

367
00:21:58,452 --> 00:21:59,721
I think I got frostbite.

368
00:21:59,745 --> 00:22:01,055
Where the hell am I, anyway?

369
00:22:01,079 --> 00:22:02,807
G.T. Lightstone family compound.

370
00:22:02,831 --> 00:22:04,666
I'll call you a tow.

371
00:22:13,715 --> 00:22:15,692
All right, revelers.

372
00:22:15,716 --> 00:22:17,485
Time to steal Christmas.

373
00:22:17,509 --> 00:22:18,735
Sound off.

374
00:22:18,759 --> 00:22:20,320
Jingle. Check.

375
00:22:20,344 --> 00:22:21,905
Peppermint. Check.

376
00:22:21,929 --> 00:22:23,489
Sugarplum. Check.

377
00:22:23,513 --> 00:22:26,450
Krampus. Ready to fuck shit up.

378
00:22:26,474 --> 00:22:28,243
Candy Cane. Check.

379
00:22:28,267 --> 00:22:30,871
- Go for Frosty.
- Go for Tinsel.

380
00:22:30,895 --> 00:22:32,580
Go for Gingerbread.

381
00:22:32,604 --> 00:22:35,541
Are we gonna use these stupid
code names all night?

382
00:22:35,565 --> 00:22:37,041
'Tis the season.

383
00:22:37,065 --> 00:22:40,836
Welcome to your worst
Christmas ever.

384
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:44,238
Trudy loves seeing Santa
at the mall.

385
00:22:45,071 --> 00:22:46,841
She loves going with her father.

386
00:22:46,865 --> 00:22:48,509
And you should've
taken her yesterday,

387
00:22:48,533 --> 00:22:49,885
like you do every Christmas,

388
00:22:49,909 --> 00:22:51,595
but we didn't even
hear from you.

389
00:22:51,619 --> 00:22:52,929
Mom put me on a special project.

390
00:22:52,953 --> 00:22:54,346
- It's complicated.
- But it's not,

391
00:22:54,370 --> 00:22:56,432
because it keeps happening
over and over.

392
00:22:56,456 --> 00:22:59,041
- Your mother forcing herself
between us. -You're right.

393
00:23:03,628 --> 00:23:05,981
What if we could give Trudy
her Christmas wish?

394
00:23:06,005 --> 00:23:08,065
You're trying to win me back

395
00:23:08,089 --> 00:23:10,735
with a romantic weekend
at your mother's?

396
00:23:10,759 --> 00:23:14,094
What if things
really changed this time?

397
00:23:15,845 --> 00:23:18,282
We got out from under
my mother's thumb.

398
00:23:18,306 --> 00:23:20,074
We'll walk away.

399
00:23:20,098 --> 00:23:22,809
From the company, the family.

400
00:23:25,519 --> 00:23:27,146
Tonight.

401
00:23:27,939 --> 00:23:29,457
What are you up to?

402
00:24:14,766 --> 00:24:16,035
Let's go.

403
00:24:16,059 --> 00:24:18,536
We need to get you out of here.

404
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:20,288
Mommy, where are you going?

405
00:24:20,312 --> 00:24:22,081
- She's going for the panic room!
- What?

406
00:24:22,105 --> 00:24:23,415
- Yes. Go, Bertrude.
- Without us?

407
00:24:29,403 --> 00:24:31,445
Fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck.

408
00:24:53,129 --> 00:24:55,065
There isn't room for all of us.

409
00:24:55,089 --> 00:24:56,817
She can fit at least two of us.
Mom, take me.

410
00:24:56,841 --> 00:24:58,776
- Mom!
- Oh. Yeah.

411
00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:00,403
M-Mom, can Bert come, too?

412
00:25:03,095 --> 00:25:04,322
Okay. Move it or lose it, son.

413
00:25:04,346 --> 00:25:06,031
- Move it!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

414
00:25:06,055 --> 00:25:08,158
You're supposed to protect us.

415
00:25:08,182 --> 00:25:09,851
We protect the primary asset.

416
00:25:13,812 --> 00:25:14,997
Who the hell are you?

417
00:25:15,021 --> 00:25:17,982
You can call me Mr. Scrooge.

418
00:25:18,733 --> 00:25:20,126
Hilarious.

419
00:25:20,150 --> 00:25:21,484
Get him.

420
00:25:30,033 --> 00:25:32,451
Bah humbug, motherfucker.

421
00:25:41,833 --> 00:25:44,085
Hey. Step aside.

422
00:25:45,336 --> 00:25:47,814
Tinsel, Peppermint,
sweep upstairs.

423
00:25:47,838 --> 00:25:50,048
I want all the Lightstones
together.

424
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:52,550
Kill anybody else you find.

425
00:26:02,725 --> 00:26:05,518
Fuck. Fuck, fuck.

426
00:26:06,352 --> 00:26:08,896
Trudy, honey, we got to go.

427
00:26:09,855 --> 00:26:11,374
Wake up, honey. Wake up.

428
00:26:11,398 --> 00:26:14,192
Maybe we can get out the back
by the servants' stairs.

429
00:26:21,030 --> 00:26:23,508
Oh, come on. Not now. Not now.

430
00:26:24,658 --> 00:26:26,635
Fuck! Fuck!

431
00:26:26,659 --> 00:26:28,179
Mistletoe, gingerbread.

432
00:26:52,387 --> 00:26:53,448
Hey!

433
00:26:56,307 --> 00:26:57,534
Oh. Oh.

434
00:26:57,558 --> 00:26:58,994
Hi.

435
00:26:59,018 --> 00:27:01,454
You got me.

436
00:27:01,478 --> 00:27:04,040
I don't want any trouble, okay?

437
00:27:04,064 --> 00:27:05,749
Downstairs. Now.

438
00:27:05,773 --> 00:27:09,418
Look, mister,
I don't want to get involved.

439
00:27:09,442 --> 00:27:11,837
I just...
I just have a job to do.

440
00:27:11,861 --> 00:27:13,214
Okay? That's it.

441
00:27:13,238 --> 00:27:15,715
I'm just gonna take my bag,

442
00:27:15,739 --> 00:27:18,550
and I'm just gonna
scooch up that chimney.

443
00:27:20,076 --> 00:27:21,953
Enough talk. Let's go.

444
00:27:22,744 --> 00:27:24,472
You don't want to do this.

445
00:27:24,496 --> 00:27:25,681
What? This?

446
00:27:27,414 --> 00:27:28,725
Now, move!

447
00:27:28,749 --> 00:27:30,727
Are you deaf?

448
00:27:30,751 --> 00:27:32,728
Fucking move!

449
00:27:43,553 --> 00:27:45,404
No, no, no.

450
00:27:45,428 --> 00:27:48,574
No! Wait!

451
00:27:48,598 --> 00:27:49,908
Wait.

452
00:27:49,932 --> 00:27:51,576
Wait! Don't go!

453
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:53,476
Come back!

454
00:29:08,534 --> 00:29:10,286
Oh, fuck!

455
00:29:34,388 --> 00:29:35,865
Oh, shit.

456
00:29:57,197 --> 00:30:01,034
Damn chickenshit reindeer
leave me here to die.

457
00:30:09,457 --> 00:30:12,685
♪ Violent night ♪

458
00:30:12,709 --> 00:30:15,771
♪ Gory night ♪

459
00:30:15,795 --> 00:30:17,940
♪ All is calm ♪

460
00:30:17,964 --> 00:30:22,217
♪ If all doesn't want to get
shot in the fucking head. ♪

461
00:30:23,009 --> 00:30:24,361
Cute.

462
00:30:24,385 --> 00:30:27,513
Do you have any idea
who you're fucking with?

463
00:30:30,848 --> 00:30:33,701
I know exactly
who I'm fucking with.

464
00:30:33,725 --> 00:30:35,828
Oh, wait, wait.
Did you actually think

465
00:30:35,852 --> 00:30:37,371
that I spent months

466
00:30:37,395 --> 00:30:40,040
planning a complex break-in
to the most secure

467
00:30:40,064 --> 00:30:41,666
private residence in the country

468
00:30:41,690 --> 00:30:43,417
and I didn't know
who lived here?

469
00:30:43,441 --> 00:30:45,002
Well, you're wrong.

470
00:30:45,026 --> 00:30:47,963
'Cause your staff are dead.

471
00:30:47,987 --> 00:30:50,089
Your security are dead.

472
00:30:50,113 --> 00:30:53,408
Now, sit down
and shut the fuck up!

473
00:31:21,512 --> 00:31:23,556
Oh, fuck.

474
00:31:26,433 --> 00:31:27,743
We planned it. It's all right.

475
00:31:27,767 --> 00:31:29,370
It'll be solved
in a couple minutes.

476
00:31:29,394 --> 00:31:30,912
Better be solved.

477
00:31:30,936 --> 00:31:33,290
So much like a scene
from my movie Dark Ransom.

478
00:31:33,314 --> 00:31:34,772
Oh, my God.

479
00:31:35,940 --> 00:31:37,418
If they didn't have guns,

480
00:31:37,442 --> 00:31:39,460
I could take out three,
maybe four of them.

481
00:31:39,484 --> 00:31:41,587
Try all of them.

482
00:31:41,611 --> 00:31:44,214
Ew, Mom. Yuck.

483
00:31:44,238 --> 00:31:46,008
If you'd really done
your research, you'd know

484
00:31:46,032 --> 00:31:48,825
that my brother Rory
was kidnapped in the '70s.

485
00:31:49,701 --> 00:31:52,304
But my father
never called the police.

486
00:31:52,328 --> 00:31:54,806
Dad sent in our own
private extraction team,

487
00:31:54,830 --> 00:31:58,392
and Rory was home
safe and sound a week later.

488
00:31:58,416 --> 00:32:02,061
And the kidnappers
were never found.

489
00:32:02,085 --> 00:32:04,171
If you get me.

490
00:32:05,713 --> 00:32:07,190
I know.

491
00:32:07,214 --> 00:32:09,900
I know all about
your extraction team

492
00:32:09,924 --> 00:32:11,986
that you affectionately call
"the Kill Squad"

493
00:32:12,010 --> 00:32:13,778
behind closed doors.

494
00:32:13,802 --> 00:32:15,697
I also know
that they're on their way

495
00:32:15,721 --> 00:32:17,699
and how long it's gonna
take 'em to get here.

496
00:32:17,723 --> 00:32:20,617
I even know their credit ratings
and their dick sizes.

497
00:32:20,641 --> 00:32:22,286
If you get me.

498
00:32:22,310 --> 00:32:24,454
Then you should also know
you're already dead.

499
00:32:24,478 --> 00:32:26,289
We don't do ransoms.

500
00:32:26,313 --> 00:32:28,915
Again, I know. I know.

501
00:32:28,939 --> 00:32:30,917
See, I know a lot, Gertrude.

502
00:32:30,941 --> 00:32:32,668
I really do.

503
00:32:32,692 --> 00:32:35,755
Like the fact that you have
300 million in U.S. dollars

504
00:32:35,779 --> 00:32:37,881
sitting in your personal vault
downstairs.

505
00:32:37,905 --> 00:32:40,133
- The fuck?
- That's right.

506
00:32:40,157 --> 00:32:42,885
300 million that
the U.S. government

507
00:32:42,909 --> 00:32:46,346
gave Lightstone to quietly
distribute in the Middle East

508
00:32:46,370 --> 00:32:48,014
to all the worst people,

509
00:32:48,038 --> 00:32:52,184
to grease the wheels
and keep that sweet oil flowing.

510
00:32:52,208 --> 00:32:56,771
300 million that... oops...
Disappeared in the fog of war.

511
00:32:56,795 --> 00:32:59,981
Except it didn't really
disappear, did it, Gerty?

512
00:33:00,005 --> 00:33:01,316
'Cause you stole it.

513
00:33:01,340 --> 00:33:02,900
Did you know about this?

514
00:33:02,924 --> 00:33:04,360
Man, this family.

515
00:33:04,384 --> 00:33:07,528
This moneygrubbing family.

516
00:33:07,552 --> 00:33:09,405
Clinging desperately
to your wealth,

517
00:33:09,429 --> 00:33:11,823
when your poor employees
don't even have enough coal

518
00:33:11,847 --> 00:33:13,700
to keep Tiny Tim warm.

519
00:33:13,724 --> 00:33:16,869
What is it with you
and all this Christmas shit?

520
00:33:16,893 --> 00:33:18,662
Talk all you want.

521
00:33:18,686 --> 00:33:20,497
You'll never get in the vault.

522
00:33:20,521 --> 00:33:24,000
Oh, oh, oh, because when
you-you hit the panic button,

523
00:33:24,024 --> 00:33:25,667
it reset the combination?

524
00:33:25,691 --> 00:33:29,361
I keep telling you, I know.

525
00:33:34,156 --> 00:33:37,010
This is what breaking
into a vault has turned into?

526
00:33:37,034 --> 00:33:41,680
Remember when you just had to
drill holes and blow shit up?

527
00:33:41,704 --> 00:33:43,348
I don't know,
maybe I'm getting old,

528
00:33:43,372 --> 00:33:44,849
but there was something
romantic about that.

529
00:33:44,873 --> 00:33:47,101
Boss, you copy?

530
00:33:47,125 --> 00:33:49,061
I'm kind of busy here.

531
00:33:49,085 --> 00:33:51,545
You're gonna want to see this.

532
00:34:00,885 --> 00:34:02,530
Maybe he fell.

533
00:34:02,554 --> 00:34:03,948
You rappel down buildings
with him.

534
00:34:03,972 --> 00:34:06,390
You gonna tell me
he just fell out a window?

535
00:34:07,224 --> 00:34:09,201
All right, look lively, gang.

536
00:34:09,225 --> 00:34:10,977
We got a gopher.

537
00:34:26,405 --> 00:34:27,882
You know what?

538
00:34:27,906 --> 00:34:32,052
Um, I think Mr. Bunny
wants to go to sleep.

539
00:34:32,076 --> 00:34:34,054
So, let's tuck him in.

540
00:34:34,078 --> 00:34:35,704
Okay?

541
00:34:36,872 --> 00:34:38,582
It's gonna be okay.

542
00:34:52,468 --> 00:34:54,987
Hello? Santa?

543
00:34:55,011 --> 00:34:56,971
Are you there?

544
00:35:02,808 --> 00:35:04,560
Shit.

545
00:35:08,688 --> 00:35:11,291
This is
Candy Cane at checkpoint three.

546
00:35:11,315 --> 00:35:13,001
Oh, shit.

547
00:35:13,025 --> 00:35:14,793
Shit. Shit. Shit.

548
00:35:17,987 --> 00:35:19,905
Video game.

549
00:35:21,072 --> 00:35:22,383
Video game.

550
00:35:22,407 --> 00:35:24,593
Didn't anybody ask
for a bat or a sword

551
00:35:24,617 --> 00:35:27,745
or Molotov cocktails?

552
00:35:36,251 --> 00:35:37,960
Wait.

553
00:35:52,722 --> 00:35:54,366
Mommy, I love you.

554
00:35:55,933 --> 00:35:57,785
Poetry book.

555
00:35:57,809 --> 00:36:00,245
Die Hard on Blu-ray. Fuck!

556
00:36:01,854 --> 00:36:05,458
- ♪ Mamacita ♪
- ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪

557
00:36:05,482 --> 00:36:08,126
- ♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪
- ♪ Mamacita ♪

558
00:36:08,150 --> 00:36:10,253
♪ Ah-ooh ♪

559
00:36:10,277 --> 00:36:12,796
- ♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪
- ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh... ♪

560
00:36:14,405 --> 00:36:16,342
Safety's on, dipshit.

561
00:36:17,991 --> 00:36:21,345
- ♪ Mamacita ♪
- ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪

562
00:36:21,369 --> 00:36:23,722
♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪

563
00:36:23,746 --> 00:36:25,348
♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪

564
00:36:25,372 --> 00:36:27,141
♪ I look for him because ♪

565
00:36:27,165 --> 00:36:29,101
Wait. Hang on. Hang on.

566
00:36:29,125 --> 00:36:30,477
♪ It's Christmas Eve... ♪

567
00:36:30,501 --> 00:36:33,063
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait. Look.

568
00:36:33,087 --> 00:36:34,480
I don't want to kill you.

569
00:36:38,466 --> 00:36:42,237
Wow, a big fat guy, gray beard.

570
00:36:42,261 --> 00:36:44,345
Eh?

571
00:36:44,887 --> 00:36:46,907
Santa...

572
00:36:46,931 --> 00:36:48,950
I'm gonna rip
your fucking balls off.

573
00:36:53,269 --> 00:36:56,288
♪ I hope he won't forget
to crack his castanets ♪

574
00:36:56,312 --> 00:36:59,833
♪ And to his reindeer say ♪

575
00:36:59,857 --> 00:37:02,418
♪ "Oh, Pancho, oh, Vixen,
oh, Pedro, oh, Blitzen..." ♪

576
00:37:02,442 --> 00:37:04,337
Oh, shit.

577
00:37:07,405 --> 00:37:10,007
- ♪ Mamacita ♪
- ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪

578
00:37:10,031 --> 00:37:12,343
♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪

579
00:37:13,993 --> 00:37:16,846
♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪

580
00:37:16,870 --> 00:37:18,639
♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪

581
00:37:18,663 --> 00:37:20,391
♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪

582
00:37:20,415 --> 00:37:22,351
♪ Christmas Eve ♪

583
00:37:31,715 --> 00:37:33,317
♪ I hope he won't forget ♪

584
00:37:33,341 --> 00:37:34,902
♪ To crack his castanets ♪

585
00:37:34,926 --> 00:37:38,780
♪ And to his reindeer say ♪

586
00:37:38,804 --> 00:37:42,741
♪ "Oh, Pancho, oh, Vixen,
oh, Pedro, oh, Blitzen ♪

587
00:37:42,765 --> 00:37:46,703
♪ Olé, olé, olé" ♪

588
00:37:46,727 --> 00:37:49,663
- ♪ Mamacita ♪
- ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪

589
00:37:49,687 --> 00:37:52,207
♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪

590
00:37:52,231 --> 00:37:53,375
♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪

591
00:37:53,399 --> 00:37:55,376
♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪

592
00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:57,086
♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪

593
00:37:57,110 --> 00:38:00,630
- ♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪
- ♪ Christmas Eve ♪

594
00:38:00,654 --> 00:38:03,549
♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪

595
00:38:03,573 --> 00:38:05,217
♪ Mamacita ♪

596
00:38:05,241 --> 00:38:07,468
- ♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪
- ♪ Mamacita. ♪

597
00:38:49,150 --> 00:38:51,461
Ah, God.

598
00:38:51,485 --> 00:38:53,195
Whew.

599
00:38:54,237 --> 00:38:57,174
Whew. Whew.

600
00:38:57,198 --> 00:38:59,259
This is Candy Cane checking in.

601
00:38:59,283 --> 00:39:00,968
Compound is clear and secured.

602
00:39:03,119 --> 00:39:05,180
Copy. What's the
status on the Kill Squad?

603
00:39:06,872 --> 00:39:08,599
Kill Squad
won't be here for two hours.

604
00:39:08,623 --> 00:39:11,477
So we're doing good. The outer
seal's already been breached.

605
00:39:11,501 --> 00:39:14,103
Is there a 911 thing on here?

606
00:39:14,127 --> 00:39:16,606
My...

607
00:39:16,630 --> 00:39:18,565
Am I doing that correct?

608
00:39:18,589 --> 00:39:19,900
Hello?

609
00:39:19,924 --> 00:39:21,859
Hello, can anybody hear me?

610
00:39:21,883 --> 00:39:24,445
Can you hear me, Santa?

611
00:39:26,303 --> 00:39:27,530
Hello?

612
00:39:27,554 --> 00:39:29,139
Santa?

613
00:39:32,308 --> 00:39:34,060
Yeah, this is Santa.

614
00:39:36,812 --> 00:39:39,480
I hope I'm not bothering you.

615
00:39:40,856 --> 00:39:43,734
Daddy said you were
very busy tonight.

616
00:39:45,485 --> 00:39:47,380
I'm...

617
00:39:47,404 --> 00:39:49,589
I'm on a break.

618
00:39:49,613 --> 00:39:51,824
Who-who am I speaking to?

619
00:39:54,242 --> 00:39:56,095
My name is Trudy Lightstone,

620
00:39:56,119 --> 00:39:59,555
and I've been very good
this year.

621
00:39:59,579 --> 00:40:01,473
Trudy...

622
00:40:03,708 --> 00:40:05,835
Trudy Lightstone.

623
00:40:14,675 --> 00:40:16,860
Yeah, Trudy.

624
00:40:16,884 --> 00:40:19,237
You're on my nice list.

625
00:40:19,261 --> 00:40:21,805
You've been a very good girl
this year.

626
00:40:23,348 --> 00:40:25,558
Where are you now, Trudy?

627
00:40:26,809 --> 00:40:29,620
I'm in a big room
with all my relatives.

628
00:40:29,644 --> 00:40:33,021
There's two bad men with guns
watching us.

629
00:40:35,607 --> 00:40:37,292
Oh, no. Six left.

630
00:40:37,316 --> 00:40:39,652
Are you gonna help us, Santa?

631
00:40:40,778 --> 00:40:42,755
Yeah. Of course
I'm gonna help you.

632
00:40:42,779 --> 00:40:45,466
I'm gonna...
I'm gonna get you out of there.

633
00:40:45,490 --> 00:40:49,076
Take all these bad guys
on my naughty list...

634
00:40:49,952 --> 00:40:52,430
I'm gonna take a lump of coal,

635
00:40:52,454 --> 00:40:56,391
each and every one of them,
and shove it straight up...

636
00:40:56,415 --> 00:40:57,708
The ass.

637
00:41:00,543 --> 00:41:02,062
Well, I mean, come on, sweetie.

638
00:41:02,086 --> 00:41:05,046
We want to keep you
on the nice list, you know.

639
00:41:06,381 --> 00:41:08,966
Sorry.
Can I say "butthole," then?

640
00:41:09,759 --> 00:41:11,236
I mean, it's borderline.

641
00:41:11,260 --> 00:41:12,862
How about "anus"?

642
00:41:12,886 --> 00:41:17,198
Technically, yes,
uh, "anus" is the tech...

643
00:41:17,222 --> 00:41:19,033
Okay, look, uh, Tru...
uh, Trudy.

644
00:41:19,057 --> 00:41:21,785
I got to call for help,
and the phone lines are down.

645
00:41:21,809 --> 00:41:24,455
You probably know this house
better than anybody.

646
00:41:24,479 --> 00:41:26,372
You got any suggestions?

647
00:41:26,396 --> 00:41:28,023
I have an idea.

648
00:41:30,274 --> 00:41:32,836
All right, you're telling me
there's a goddamn Santa Claus

649
00:41:32,860 --> 00:41:34,778
running around here?

650
00:41:37,947 --> 00:41:39,966
Okay, well,
he looks jolly as fuck,

651
00:41:39,990 --> 00:41:41,509
but who the hell is he?

652
00:41:41,533 --> 00:41:43,719
There's no Santa listed
on the employee manifest.

653
00:41:43,743 --> 00:41:45,053
Yeah, there's more.

654
00:41:45,077 --> 00:41:46,764
Frosty hasn't checked in.
I can't reach him.

655
00:41:46,788 --> 00:41:48,723
All right, keep trying.

656
00:41:51,416 --> 00:41:52,934
All right, it's official.

657
00:41:52,958 --> 00:41:54,853
We got a gopher on the loose,
and he's dangerous.

658
00:41:54,877 --> 00:41:56,270
Watch your backs.

659
00:42:01,256 --> 00:42:04,009
Al? Al?

660
00:42:10,222 --> 00:42:12,098
Oh, shit.

661
00:42:19,771 --> 00:42:21,415
Oh, shit!

662
00:42:21,439 --> 00:42:24,775
Frosty, what's your status?

663
00:42:28,236 --> 00:42:30,279
Frosty, sound off.

664
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:34,157
Uh, Frosty?

665
00:42:35,450 --> 00:42:36,885
Is-is that, uh...

666
00:42:36,909 --> 00:42:38,804
is that the naughty guy
I met in the basement?

667
00:42:38,828 --> 00:42:40,513
Your-your friend is dead.

668
00:42:40,537 --> 00:42:43,766
Uh, he got a star in his face,
then his head caught on fire.

669
00:42:43,790 --> 00:42:45,683
It's a long story.

670
00:42:45,707 --> 00:42:48,520
Oh.

671
00:42:48,544 --> 00:42:50,687
Is this... is this our Santy?

672
00:42:50,711 --> 00:42:53,606
Is this our... our Santy Claus?

673
00:42:53,630 --> 00:42:55,215
Yeah, it is.

674
00:42:56,007 --> 00:42:57,902
To whom am I speaking?

675
00:42:57,926 --> 00:42:59,903
Well, for tonight,
I'm Mr. Scrooge.

676
00:42:59,927 --> 00:43:03,823
Now, what is it
that you want exactly, Santa?

677
00:43:03,847 --> 00:43:06,367
I want you to put down
your weapons,

678
00:43:06,391 --> 00:43:09,285
I want you to let
this family go,

679
00:43:09,309 --> 00:43:11,162
and then I want to find
my reindeer,

680
00:43:11,186 --> 00:43:13,688
and I want to continue
delivering my presents.

681
00:43:16,439 --> 00:43:17,959
Are you fucking with me?

682
00:43:17,983 --> 00:43:20,252
All right, who the hell
are you really, huh?

683
00:43:20,276 --> 00:43:22,879
Some security guard who's
watched too many action flicks?

684
00:43:22,903 --> 00:43:25,339
Some loser ex-cop
stuck in a mall

685
00:43:25,363 --> 00:43:27,591
playing dress-up with fat kids
pissing on your lap?

686
00:43:27,615 --> 00:43:29,008
Stop me when I get it right.

687
00:43:29,032 --> 00:43:31,302
It's a little more complicated
than that.

688
00:43:31,326 --> 00:43:32,929
Not to me, it's not.

689
00:43:32,953 --> 00:43:34,930
'Cause I want to make it
my personal mission,

690
00:43:34,954 --> 00:43:39,267
my holiday to-do list,
to find you and to end you

691
00:43:39,291 --> 00:43:42,936
and to wipe my ass with you
and this whole fucking holiday.

692
00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:45,480
That's what I want
for Christmas, Santa.

693
00:43:45,504 --> 00:43:49,608
That is a terrible thing
to want for Christmas.

694
00:43:49,632 --> 00:43:53,385
But maybe you and I should
discuss that in person.

695
00:43:54,678 --> 00:43:57,346
Santa Claus is coming to town.

696
00:44:08,730 --> 00:44:10,189
Shit.

697
00:44:20,031 --> 00:44:21,341
All right, who did you hire

698
00:44:21,365 --> 00:44:24,010
to play Santa at
your Christmas party, huh?

699
00:44:24,034 --> 00:44:26,053
I said, who's playing Santa

700
00:44:26,077 --> 00:44:27,512
at your fucked-up
Christmas party?

701
00:44:27,536 --> 00:44:30,432
I didn't hire a Santa.

702
00:44:30,456 --> 00:44:33,392
I never have a Santa.
It's tacky.

703
00:44:33,416 --> 00:44:34,768
So, who is he?

704
00:44:34,792 --> 00:44:37,604
♪ Oh, what fun
it is to ride... ♪

705
00:44:37,628 --> 00:44:40,480
Huh? Who is he?

706
00:44:40,504 --> 00:44:42,024
Somebody better start talking,

707
00:44:42,048 --> 00:44:45,109
or I'm gonna bash
her brains in with this...

708
00:44:45,133 --> 00:44:49,720
Damn, Gertrude. You really got
a thing for nutcrackers, huh?

709
00:44:50,888 --> 00:44:54,742
So, I'm gonna torture
everyone in your family

710
00:44:54,766 --> 00:44:57,827
until you tell me who's
running around your mansion

711
00:44:57,851 --> 00:45:00,580
playing Santa
and fucking with my shit.

712
00:45:00,604 --> 00:45:02,581
And who should I pick first?

713
00:45:02,605 --> 00:45:03,999
Should I go by age?

714
00:45:04,023 --> 00:45:05,667
Shh.

715
00:45:05,691 --> 00:45:07,335
Or should I go by IQ?

716
00:45:07,359 --> 00:45:10,795
Pick Jason.
He's my mom's favorite.

717
00:45:10,819 --> 00:45:12,839
- Yep. Him.
- The one in the sweater.

718
00:45:12,863 --> 00:45:15,215
All right.
Jason Lightstone it is.

719
00:45:15,239 --> 00:45:16,467
- The number one son.
- No.

720
00:45:16,491 --> 00:45:17,968
Wait, wait, wait.
No, we don't need...

721
00:45:17,992 --> 00:45:19,385
We don't need to do that.
No, it's okay.

722
00:45:19,409 --> 00:45:21,554
No. No, no, no.
We don't need to do this.

723
00:45:21,578 --> 00:45:22,764
No. No, no, no, no.

724
00:45:22,788 --> 00:45:24,264
Don't, don't, don't.

725
00:45:24,288 --> 00:45:26,558
- No, don't... Put it...
- Don't... No. -

726
00:45:26,582 --> 00:45:28,768
- No, no, no, no. No, no.
- Give me this fucking...

727
00:45:37,799 --> 00:45:40,486
I'm telling you,
no one hired a Santa.

728
00:45:40,510 --> 00:45:42,111
All right, all right,
all right. You're right.

729
00:45:42,135 --> 00:45:43,154
You're right.
Let's stop it. Let's stop it.

730
00:45:43,178 --> 00:45:45,281
What are we doing here? Come on.

731
00:45:45,305 --> 00:45:48,367
What are we, amateurs?
We're half-assing this.

732
00:45:48,391 --> 00:45:51,518
Come on. It's not called
a finger cracker.

733
00:45:52,727 --> 00:45:54,663
Okay, Candy Cane.

734
00:45:54,687 --> 00:45:56,039
Stick one of his bozaks
in there.

735
00:45:56,063 --> 00:45:57,248
I'm not touching his balls.

736
00:45:57,272 --> 00:45:58,958
What, are you a princess
all of a sudden?

737
00:45:58,982 --> 00:46:00,584
I've seen you
scoop out brains before.

738
00:46:00,608 --> 00:46:02,044
You want me
to scoop his brains out,

739
00:46:02,068 --> 00:46:03,586
I'll scoop his brains out
right now,

740
00:46:03,610 --> 00:46:04,754
but I'm not touching his junk.

741
00:46:04,778 --> 00:46:06,172
I don't care who does it.

742
00:46:06,196 --> 00:46:07,756
I better be looking
at flat balls,

743
00:46:07,780 --> 00:46:09,007
like, in three seconds.

744
00:46:09,031 --> 00:46:11,593
I'll do it.

745
00:46:11,617 --> 00:46:12,885
Krampus. Perfect.

746
00:46:12,909 --> 00:46:14,261
Oh, not that guy. Not that guy.

747
00:46:14,285 --> 00:46:15,763
That's what I love
about sociopaths.

748
00:46:15,787 --> 00:46:17,055
Always up for trying new things.

749
00:46:17,079 --> 00:46:18,390
You don't need to do this, okay?

750
00:46:18,414 --> 00:46:20,308
No, it's all right.
Um... Oh, no.

751
00:46:20,332 --> 00:46:22,851
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

752
00:46:22,875 --> 00:46:25,395
Oh, God. Oh, my God.

753
00:46:26,962 --> 00:46:28,564
Put your nuts in.

754
00:46:28,588 --> 00:46:29,940
Yummy, yummy.

755
00:46:29,964 --> 00:46:32,693
Stop hurting my daddy...

756
00:46:32,717 --> 00:46:35,135
or Santa will get mad.

757
00:46:35,969 --> 00:46:38,155
Ah, what a cutie.

758
00:46:38,179 --> 00:46:40,240
So, what do we know
about Santa, little one?

759
00:46:40,264 --> 00:46:42,158
She doesn't know anything
about Santa.

760
00:46:43,058 --> 00:46:44,785
He wasn't asking you.

761
00:46:44,809 --> 00:46:47,204
She's playing make-believe.

762
00:46:47,228 --> 00:46:49,455
She's pretending
to talk to Santa.

763
00:46:49,479 --> 00:46:51,457
It's not pretend.
Santa's my friend,

764
00:46:51,481 --> 00:46:53,375
and he said
he's going to save us.

765
00:46:53,399 --> 00:46:54,459
No.

766
00:46:54,483 --> 00:46:56,711
- And beat you up.
- Oh, is he?

767
00:46:56,735 --> 00:46:59,255
I bet he'd come out of hiding
if you asked him to, huh?

768
00:46:59,279 --> 00:47:00,839
What do you say you come with me

769
00:47:00,863 --> 00:47:03,091
- and we play a little game
with him, huh? -No, no, no.

770
00:47:03,115 --> 00:47:04,467
Trudy, come on.
Tell him the truth now.

771
00:47:04,491 --> 00:47:06,301
- You aren't talking to Santa.
- Yes, I am.

772
00:47:06,325 --> 00:47:07,636
No, you're not. Come on, now.

773
00:47:07,660 --> 00:47:10,471
- Yes, I am. -Damn it, Trudy,
Santa isn't real!

774
00:47:18,710 --> 00:47:20,503
I'm sorry, honey.

775
00:47:21,463 --> 00:47:23,648
Santa's just a thing
adults tell kids

776
00:47:23,672 --> 00:47:25,883
to make them feel better, okay?

777
00:47:27,884 --> 00:47:29,987
Your mommy and I
give you the presents,

778
00:47:30,011 --> 00:47:31,988
and we say they're from Santa.

779
00:47:33,180 --> 00:47:34,741
He's not coming to save us.

780
00:47:34,765 --> 00:47:36,950
He doesn't exist.

781
00:47:36,974 --> 00:47:39,393
It's all made-up.

782
00:47:40,935 --> 00:47:42,705
- Really?
- Aw.

783
00:47:42,729 --> 00:47:45,540
What a way to find out
that there's no Santa.

784
00:47:45,564 --> 00:47:47,584
Hey, let's come back Easter
and ruin the Easter Bunny

785
00:47:47,608 --> 00:47:49,752
for her, too, huh?

786
00:47:49,776 --> 00:47:51,170
- Trudy!
- Come back here!

787
00:47:51,194 --> 00:47:52,629
- Stop her!
- Trudy! -Hey!

788
00:47:52,653 --> 00:47:54,130
You idiots, stay at your posts.

789
00:47:54,154 --> 00:47:55,590
Trudy!

790
00:47:55,614 --> 00:47:57,949
I'll find this little brat.

791
00:49:04,042 --> 00:49:05,459
Okay.

792
00:49:34,065 --> 00:49:37,043
Santa. Santa.

793
00:49:37,067 --> 00:49:38,920
Santa!

794
00:49:40,611 --> 00:49:42,446
This is Trudy.

795
00:49:43,281 --> 00:49:46,449
Are you okay, Santa?

796
00:49:48,534 --> 00:49:49,928
Hi. Hey.

797
00:49:49,952 --> 00:49:51,763
Are you okay?

798
00:49:51,787 --> 00:49:53,597
I'm good. Uh...

799
00:49:53,621 --> 00:49:55,975
I was just wrapping
something up.

800
00:49:55,999 --> 00:49:58,184
I ran away and hid in the attic.

801
00:49:58,208 --> 00:50:01,437
Okay. If you're safe...

802
00:50:01,461 --> 00:50:04,439
uh, just stay there
and, uh, stay quiet, all right?

803
00:50:04,463 --> 00:50:09,277
Okay. I can set up booby traps,
like in Home Alone.

804
00:50:09,301 --> 00:50:10,944
Okay, I don't know
what that means,

805
00:50:10,968 --> 00:50:12,654
but, uh, yeah, do that.

806
00:50:12,678 --> 00:50:14,597
Just do it quietly.

807
00:50:15,972 --> 00:50:17,950
Are you really Santa?

808
00:50:21,810 --> 00:50:23,811
Of course I am, sweetheart.

809
00:50:24,687 --> 00:50:27,565
My daddy says
there isn't any Santa.

810
00:50:28,982 --> 00:50:32,170
He says parents just tell
their kids that Santa's real

811
00:50:32,194 --> 00:50:33,879
to make them feel better.

812
00:50:33,903 --> 00:50:36,756
He said they give us presents

813
00:50:36,780 --> 00:50:39,049
and say they're from Santa.

814
00:50:39,073 --> 00:50:41,177
Yeah.

815
00:50:41,201 --> 00:50:43,428
Yeah, a lot of parents say that.

816
00:50:43,452 --> 00:50:47,496
But I still bring presents
to kids that need me.

817
00:50:48,789 --> 00:50:51,082
Kids who really believe.

818
00:50:52,334 --> 00:50:55,228
How do you know
who really needs you?

819
00:50:55,252 --> 00:50:57,439
Christmas magic.

820
00:50:57,463 --> 00:50:59,732
I'm not really sure
how it works.

821
00:51:07,554 --> 00:51:09,823
But, uh...

822
00:51:12,016 --> 00:51:15,119
I remember, um...

823
00:51:15,143 --> 00:51:17,037
when Trudy Lightstone
wrote to me.

824
00:51:17,061 --> 00:51:19,456
She must have been
about six years old,

825
00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:23,292
and she said that
she felt lonely sometimes.

826
00:51:23,316 --> 00:51:25,710
She missed having a best friend.

827
00:51:25,734 --> 00:51:27,045
And so I brought her

828
00:51:27,069 --> 00:51:28,922
a beautiful little
stuffed rabbit.

829
00:51:28,946 --> 00:51:30,297
Mr. Bunny.

830
00:51:30,321 --> 00:51:32,257
And then I remember
the next year,

831
00:51:32,281 --> 00:51:34,383
and you said you had
this amazing dream

832
00:51:34,407 --> 00:51:38,429
and that, afterwards,
all you wanted to do was...

833
00:51:38,453 --> 00:51:39,679
To fly!

834
00:51:39,703 --> 00:51:42,122
To fly. To fly.

835
00:51:43,373 --> 00:51:47,810
I mean, Santa might have
some magic, but...

836
00:51:47,834 --> 00:51:51,546
making a little girl fly?

837
00:51:53,714 --> 00:51:57,777
But giving you a kite,

838
00:51:57,801 --> 00:52:01,238
floating just beneath
the clouds,

839
00:52:01,262 --> 00:52:04,074
well, it's about
as good as it gets.

840
00:52:04,098 --> 00:52:05,950
I knew it.

841
00:52:05,974 --> 00:52:08,351
I knew you were real, Santa.

842
00:52:10,894 --> 00:52:14,063
Don't be too hard
on your parents, all right?

843
00:52:15,815 --> 00:52:18,650
Grown-ups have a hard time
believing things.

844
00:52:19,484 --> 00:52:21,754
Can you use your Christmas magic

845
00:52:21,778 --> 00:52:24,089
to make them
love each other again?

846
00:52:24,113 --> 00:52:26,657
I wish I had that kind of power.

847
00:52:27,448 --> 00:52:31,178
Mrs. Claus and I have been
going on year, uh,

848
00:52:31,202 --> 00:52:33,495
1,100, and...

849
00:52:34,371 --> 00:52:37,206
Grown-up relationships
are complicated.

850
00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:40,227
It takes work.

851
00:52:40,251 --> 00:52:42,377
A lot of work.

852
00:52:44,504 --> 00:52:46,898
Do you still love her?

853
00:52:46,922 --> 00:52:48,757
Yeah, I do.

854
00:52:49,716 --> 00:52:53,261
And sometimes, even if you want
to make somebody happy...

855
00:52:54,469 --> 00:52:56,763
the magic just goes away.

856
00:52:58,806 --> 00:53:01,118
Hey.

857
00:53:01,142 --> 00:53:02,910
I've got an idea.

858
00:53:02,934 --> 00:53:04,561
This will be fun.

859
00:53:05,603 --> 00:53:08,832
Why don't you guys
open your presents?

860
00:53:08,856 --> 00:53:13,127
I want to see what you
rich assholes get each other.

861
00:53:13,151 --> 00:53:19,090
And some of you might not
make it till tomorrow morning,

862
00:53:19,114 --> 00:53:22,116
so this could be
your only chance.

863
00:53:22,950 --> 00:53:24,386
Come on.

864
00:53:24,410 --> 00:53:27,162
Where's the Christmas spirit?

865
00:53:28,705 --> 00:53:30,789
Uh...

866
00:53:31,665 --> 00:53:36,061
Gertrude, uh, I got you
something pretty special.

867
00:53:36,085 --> 00:53:37,396
Did you hear that, Gertrude?

868
00:53:37,420 --> 00:53:39,355
He got you something amazing.

869
00:53:39,379 --> 00:53:42,274
Oh, what could it be?

870
00:53:42,298 --> 00:53:44,693
Oh, my God, this is exciting.

871
00:53:44,717 --> 00:53:46,902
Mom.

872
00:53:46,926 --> 00:53:48,636
Can I call you Mom?

873
00:53:49,846 --> 00:53:51,472
Mrs. Lightstone.

874
00:53:53,307 --> 00:53:56,684
Okay, so in the business,
they call this...

875
00:53:57,685 --> 00:53:59,145
a pitch deck.

876
00:54:00,062 --> 00:54:01,122
- Pitch deck.
- Yeah.

877
00:54:01,146 --> 00:54:02,915
It's called Explosive Force.

878
00:54:02,939 --> 00:54:04,458
Starring me.

879
00:54:04,482 --> 00:54:06,209
And if you look in the back,

880
00:54:06,233 --> 00:54:09,670
there are the financial numbers.

881
00:54:09,694 --> 00:54:13,238
I'm kind of a big deal in Asia.

882
00:54:14,490 --> 00:54:16,634
Parts of Asia, at least.

883
00:54:16,658 --> 00:54:18,719
We were in parts of Asia once,
and, like,

884
00:54:18,743 --> 00:54:20,471
we couldn't even go
to a restaurant.

885
00:54:20,495 --> 00:54:23,973
Ah, what is there
a better gift than...

886
00:54:23,997 --> 00:54:27,333
gift of a golden opportunity?

887
00:54:28,667 --> 00:54:30,895
Oh, no.

888
00:54:32,170 --> 00:54:34,607
Granny doesn't like it.

889
00:54:34,631 --> 00:54:37,257
Mother, I got you something
really special.

890
00:54:43,513 --> 00:54:46,157
It's a sentimental photo
of the day I was born.

891
00:54:46,181 --> 00:54:48,201
I remember.

892
00:54:48,225 --> 00:54:49,576
I was there.

893
00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:51,828
She doesn't give a shit.

894
00:54:54,312 --> 00:54:55,998
Swing and miss again!

895
00:54:56,022 --> 00:54:57,290
This is so fun.

896
00:54:57,314 --> 00:54:58,500
Mommy, how about another one?

897
00:54:58,524 --> 00:55:00,210
I got you a lot of good things.

898
00:55:00,234 --> 00:55:02,252
- I'll grab one.
- Alva, Alva, sit down.

899
00:55:02,276 --> 00:55:04,004
You've already given me one.
It's...

900
00:55:04,028 --> 00:55:05,255
It's Jason's turn.

901
00:55:05,279 --> 00:55:06,672
Uh...

902
00:55:06,696 --> 00:55:10,134
I th... I-I think
I left it in the car.

903
00:55:10,158 --> 00:55:12,386
No, I-I saw you put one
under the tree earlier.

904
00:55:12,410 --> 00:55:14,762
- No. It's in the...
- Yeah, I did.

905
00:55:14,786 --> 00:55:17,848
I could've sworn.
You know what, it's, uh...

906
00:55:17,872 --> 00:55:19,933
Y-You don't... you don't...
you don't... you...

907
00:55:19,957 --> 00:55:22,560
It's this one, right?
Yeah, I got you, bro.

908
00:55:22,584 --> 00:55:24,019
Come on.

909
00:55:25,795 --> 00:55:27,839
Thank you.

910
00:55:28,880 --> 00:55:31,067
It's my favorite whiskey.

911
00:55:31,091 --> 00:55:33,759
You can skip the note.

912
00:55:57,111 --> 00:55:58,863
Thank you, Jason.

913
00:56:04,241 --> 00:56:06,553
What's the card say?

914
00:56:06,577 --> 00:56:09,471
I think I'll just keep that
between Jason and I.

915
00:56:09,495 --> 00:56:13,623
No one really needs to know.
Right, Jason?

916
00:56:16,084 --> 00:56:17,793
Right.

917
00:56:18,752 --> 00:56:21,105
Did you ever have
a mommy and daddy?

918
00:56:22,922 --> 00:56:24,942
Yeah, of course
I had a mommy and daddy.

919
00:56:24,966 --> 00:56:28,635
I wasn't...
I wasn't always Santa Claus.

920
00:56:29,470 --> 00:56:31,762
I had a life before this.

921
00:56:32,680 --> 00:56:35,432
A long, long, long time ago.

922
00:56:39,602 --> 00:56:42,706
They used to call me, uh...

923
00:56:42,730 --> 00:56:44,623
Nicomund.

924
00:56:48,400 --> 00:56:50,003
Nicomund the Red.

925
00:56:51,612 --> 00:56:54,339
You had a different job then?

926
00:56:54,363 --> 00:56:57,091
Yeah, you could say that.

927
00:56:57,115 --> 00:56:58,968
I was a warrior.

928
00:56:58,992 --> 00:57:01,052
A raider. A thief.

929
00:57:01,076 --> 00:57:04,848
And if somebody got in my way,

930
00:57:04,872 --> 00:57:06,599
me and Skullcrusher would...

931
00:57:06,623 --> 00:57:08,291
Who's Skullcrusher?

932
00:57:09,125 --> 00:57:12,228
Skullcrusher's my, uh...

933
00:57:12,252 --> 00:57:14,938
my hammer.

934
00:57:14,962 --> 00:57:17,191
My favorite hammer.

935
00:57:17,215 --> 00:57:19,567
I was a surgeon with that thing.

936
00:57:19,591 --> 00:57:22,028
Used to be able to take
three heads, line 'em up...

937
00:57:23,636 --> 00:57:26,198
But why?

938
00:57:26,222 --> 00:57:27,656
What?

939
00:57:27,680 --> 00:57:30,308
Why'd you do those things?

940
00:57:32,267 --> 00:57:34,353
Because I was mean.

941
00:57:35,521 --> 00:57:37,647
And I was greedy.

942
00:57:39,482 --> 00:57:42,251
And I wanted gold, jewels.

943
00:57:42,275 --> 00:57:44,961
Yeah, I mean, if there was
a naughty list back then,

944
00:57:44,985 --> 00:57:46,987
I'd be top dog.

945
00:57:48,572 --> 00:57:50,698
Well, maybe...

946
00:57:51,699 --> 00:57:52,885
What?

947
00:57:52,909 --> 00:57:55,035
Maybe all those bad things
you used to do...

948
00:57:56,119 --> 00:57:59,413
maybe you can use them
to do good things instead.

949
00:58:00,206 --> 00:58:02,475
To help.

950
00:58:02,499 --> 00:58:04,393
What do you mean?

951
00:58:04,417 --> 00:58:08,772
Mr. Bunny, he wasn't just a toy.

952
00:58:08,796 --> 00:58:12,191
That night, you gave me
what I wished for.

953
00:58:12,215 --> 00:58:14,092
A best friend.

954
00:58:15,134 --> 00:58:17,737
'Cause you're good and kind.

955
00:58:17,761 --> 00:58:21,323
And you mean more than just
the presents you bring.

956
00:58:21,347 --> 00:58:23,992
That's why I believe in you,
Santa.

957
00:58:24,016 --> 00:58:26,434
That's why I believe.

958
00:58:32,022 --> 00:58:33,690
Thank you.

959
00:58:35,525 --> 00:58:39,462
You stay hidden, Trudy,
till I come get you.

960
00:58:39,486 --> 00:58:41,405
Stay safe.

961
00:58:42,363 --> 00:58:45,259
All right,
we got satellite confirmation.

962
00:58:45,283 --> 00:58:47,385
Extraction team's on the go.

963
00:58:47,409 --> 00:58:49,679
30 minutes.

964
00:58:49,703 --> 00:58:51,346
We're on schedule.

965
00:58:51,370 --> 00:58:52,764
Everything's good.

966
00:58:52,788 --> 00:58:54,349
All right, fellas.

967
00:58:54,373 --> 00:58:55,766
Look alive, look alive.

968
00:58:55,790 --> 00:58:57,685
You all know the plan,

969
00:58:57,709 --> 00:59:01,062
and I like my operations
like I like to fuck:

970
00:59:01,086 --> 00:59:03,856
hard and fast
with minimal cleanup.

971
00:59:03,880 --> 00:59:08,402
Now, some idiot gets
in your way, what do you do?

972
00:59:08,426 --> 00:59:10,486
Fuck their shit up right!

973
00:59:10,510 --> 00:59:12,178
Damn right.

974
00:59:12,971 --> 00:59:15,681
Time to lube up.

975
00:59:16,807 --> 00:59:19,517
Let's go, motherfuckers!
Let's go!

976
00:59:25,439 --> 00:59:27,690
This fucking family.

977
00:59:46,955 --> 00:59:49,182
Ho, ho, ho, ho.

978
00:59:49,206 --> 00:59:50,976
Merry Christmas.

979
00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:52,227
Happy holidays.

980
00:59:52,251 --> 00:59:53,352
Traitor.

981
00:59:54,836 --> 00:59:56,814
I got him in the east wing.

982
00:59:56,838 --> 00:59:59,274
All right,
we're on our way. Hold him.

983
01:00:12,600 --> 01:00:14,602
Step aside.

984
01:00:28,111 --> 01:00:30,882
Now, how did this tired, old,

985
01:00:30,906 --> 01:00:33,550
fat piece of shit
get the drop on us?

986
01:00:33,574 --> 01:00:35,010
I don't know.

987
01:00:35,034 --> 01:00:37,011
He's not even armed.

988
01:00:37,035 --> 01:00:39,430
This bag is the only thing
he had on him.

989
01:00:39,454 --> 01:00:40,872
What's in there?

990
01:00:41,622 --> 01:00:43,666
Can't see anything.

991
01:00:47,752 --> 01:00:49,212
Here, give it to me.

992
01:01:00,303 --> 01:01:02,782
What kind of moron...

993
01:01:02,806 --> 01:01:05,057
carries a chess set with him?

994
01:01:08,685 --> 01:01:10,204
What the fuck?

995
01:01:10,228 --> 01:01:12,747
Doesn't make any sense.
Look at all this shit.

996
01:01:19,985 --> 01:01:22,963
So, you're gonna tell us what's
the gimmick with the bag?

997
01:01:22,987 --> 01:01:24,632
It's magic.

998
01:01:24,656 --> 01:01:27,574
You put your hand in,
out comes a present.

999
01:01:29,159 --> 01:01:31,911
I don't really understand
how it works, either.

1000
01:01:33,287 --> 01:01:36,307
So, you're Mr. Scrooge.

1001
01:01:36,331 --> 01:01:38,309
That's right.

1002
01:01:38,333 --> 01:01:40,102
But who are you?

1003
01:01:40,126 --> 01:01:42,169
Weihnachtsmann.

1004
01:01:43,545 --> 01:01:45,505
Julenissen.

1005
01:01:46,381 --> 01:01:48,298
Shèngdàn Laorén.

1006
01:01:49,133 --> 01:01:52,319
Babbo Natale, Père Noel,
Kris Kringle.

1007
01:01:52,343 --> 01:01:54,822
Jolly old Saint Nick.

1008
01:01:54,846 --> 01:01:57,889
People call me a lot of things.

1009
01:01:58,724 --> 01:02:01,326
Ha, ha, ha. Very funny.

1010
01:02:01,350 --> 01:02:03,704
Or should I say, "Ho, ho, ho"?

1011
01:02:03,728 --> 01:02:07,289
If you're Santa,
where's your reindeer?

1012
01:02:07,313 --> 01:02:09,125
They were on the roof

1013
01:02:09,149 --> 01:02:11,751
until that guy I turned
into an ice kebab just...

1014
01:02:14,402 --> 01:02:16,004
You don't believe me?

1015
01:02:16,028 --> 01:02:17,131
Go check.

1016
01:02:17,155 --> 01:02:19,882
Prancer left
a tasty log up there.

1017
01:02:19,906 --> 01:02:21,718
This fucking guy.

1018
01:02:21,742 --> 01:02:23,427
You don't think...

1019
01:02:23,451 --> 01:02:26,596
Now, I know you're an idiot,
but don't be an idiot out loud.

1020
01:02:26,620 --> 01:02:28,681
Come on,
he's just in Santy Claus

1021
01:02:28,705 --> 01:02:30,683
with a fucking trick bag.

1022
01:02:30,707 --> 01:02:32,684
Oh, no!

1023
01:02:32,708 --> 01:02:34,519
That bag was full
of kids' dreams!

1024
01:02:34,543 --> 01:02:36,311
Oh, come on.

1025
01:02:36,335 --> 01:02:38,629
Everybody knows that
Christmas dreams are bullshit.

1026
01:02:39,422 --> 01:02:42,024
My father used to make
a big deal out of it

1027
01:02:42,048 --> 01:02:43,818
every Christmas.

1028
01:02:43,842 --> 01:02:45,986
Every freaking Christmas
with the presents

1029
01:02:46,010 --> 01:02:48,196
and the candy
and the decorations

1030
01:02:48,220 --> 01:02:52,015
and the Christmas caroling
and all that bullshit.

1031
01:02:53,391 --> 01:02:55,660
And then when I was...

1032
01:02:55,684 --> 01:02:59,079
I don't know, ten, 11,

1033
01:02:59,103 --> 01:03:01,039
he got laid off,
and that Christmas,

1034
01:03:01,063 --> 01:03:02,540
couldn't even afford a tree.

1035
01:03:02,564 --> 01:03:04,083
No Christmas dinner, no gifts.

1036
01:03:04,107 --> 01:03:06,735
Nothing, nada, culo, dick.

1037
01:03:07,526 --> 01:03:08,879
But our neighbors...

1038
01:03:08,903 --> 01:03:10,756
our neighbors,
oh, they had it all.

1039
01:03:10,780 --> 01:03:12,548
I could see
all that yuletide cheer

1040
01:03:12,572 --> 01:03:15,092
through their window mocking me.

1041
01:03:15,116 --> 01:03:19,012
So Christmas Eve
rolls around, and...

1042
01:03:19,036 --> 01:03:22,055
I waited for everybody
to go to bed.

1043
01:03:22,079 --> 01:03:25,415
And then I snuck in there
to take it all.

1044
01:03:26,416 --> 01:03:28,935
Only problem was that
the gramps got up to take a piss

1045
01:03:28,959 --> 01:03:31,354
and the two of us scared
the shit out of each other.

1046
01:03:31,378 --> 01:03:34,398
And, um, he fell down the stairs

1047
01:03:34,422 --> 01:03:38,943
and-and broke his neck,
and he died in the hospital.

1048
01:03:38,967 --> 01:03:40,570
Everybody thought that I did it,

1049
01:03:40,594 --> 01:03:42,071
and every time
I tried to tell them,

1050
01:03:42,095 --> 01:03:44,597
I tried to tell them that...

1051
01:03:46,057 --> 01:03:48,409
Anyway, maybe I did do it.

1052
01:03:48,433 --> 01:03:50,453
Maybe I did push him.

1053
01:03:50,477 --> 01:03:52,245
Poor old fucker.

1054
01:03:52,269 --> 01:03:55,748
So, you see,
Christmas ruined my life.

1055
01:03:55,772 --> 01:03:57,416
Okay? But you know what?

1056
01:03:57,440 --> 01:03:58,751
It set me on the path

1057
01:03:58,775 --> 01:04:00,794
and made me the great man
that I am today.

1058
01:04:00,818 --> 01:04:02,861
I'm sorry, Jimmy.

1059
01:04:03,654 --> 01:04:05,196
I really am.

1060
01:04:06,030 --> 01:04:08,050
But I do gifts.
I do Christmas cheer.

1061
01:04:08,074 --> 01:04:10,259
I don't get involved
in people's lives.

1062
01:04:10,283 --> 01:04:14,161
Oh, yeah? Yeah, well,
maybe you fucking should!

1063
01:04:18,665 --> 01:04:21,811
Um, how did he know your name?

1064
01:04:21,835 --> 01:04:23,520
Oh, Bjorn.

1065
01:04:23,544 --> 01:04:25,647
What's your excuse?

1066
01:04:25,671 --> 01:04:27,231
Huh?

1067
01:04:27,255 --> 01:04:30,567
Didn't I get you that Huffy bike
you wanted back in '82?

1068
01:04:30,591 --> 01:04:33,778
One you wrote me 50 times about!

1069
01:04:33,802 --> 01:04:35,278
What about you, Kira?

1070
01:04:35,302 --> 01:04:38,448
Well, you made your brother
eat worms.

1071
01:04:38,472 --> 01:04:39,949
That's naughty!

1072
01:04:39,973 --> 01:04:41,867
Okay, how does he know
about my bike?

1073
01:04:41,891 --> 01:04:45,286
It's a lucky guess, like:
"Hey, do you like big tits?"

1074
01:04:45,310 --> 01:04:47,497
Come on, every kid wants
a fucking bike.

1075
01:04:47,521 --> 01:04:50,624
- You're gonna tell me who you
work for... -Oh, Christ. No.

1076
01:04:50,648 --> 01:04:53,918
Then you've got five seconds
to tell me who you really are.

1077
01:04:53,942 --> 01:04:56,754
Five, four, three, two...

1078
01:04:56,778 --> 01:04:58,463
I'm Santa Claus!

1079
01:04:58,487 --> 01:05:00,781
Well, not anymore.

1080
01:05:25,675 --> 01:05:27,486
Is it snowing?

1081
01:05:27,510 --> 01:05:30,929
Is he doing this
with Santa magic?

1082
01:05:37,434 --> 01:05:39,811
Let it snow!

1083
01:05:51,528 --> 01:05:53,506
It's not snow.

1084
01:05:53,530 --> 01:05:54,840
It's Styrofoam.

1085
01:05:54,864 --> 01:05:57,092
I told you this guy's
a big phony.

1086
01:06:11,544 --> 01:06:13,396
Where'd he go?

1087
01:06:13,420 --> 01:06:15,023
He went up the chimney.

1088
01:06:15,047 --> 01:06:16,690
- I saw it.
- I don't know,

1089
01:06:16,714 --> 01:06:18,525
he had a rig
or some pulley system

1090
01:06:18,549 --> 01:06:20,527
- that just yanked him up.
- You can't fit up there.

1091
01:06:20,551 --> 01:06:22,236
- It's impossible.
- Oh, you see one weird thing,

1092
01:06:22,260 --> 01:06:24,572
and then you think
you're in a fairy tale?

1093
01:06:24,596 --> 01:06:25,864
Incoming.

1094
01:06:25,888 --> 01:06:26,741
We've got sleigh bells
approaching.

1095
01:06:26,765 --> 01:06:28,533
Oh, my God.

1096
01:06:28,557 --> 01:06:30,433
It's his reindeer.

1097
01:06:32,060 --> 01:06:34,038
It's the extraction team.

1098
01:06:34,062 --> 01:06:36,247
Pull yourselves together!

1099
01:06:51,200 --> 01:06:55,471
And that is the sound
of my Kill Squad.

1100
01:06:56,954 --> 01:06:59,015
Oh, you're fizzity-fucked now.

1101
01:06:59,039 --> 01:07:01,224
Huh? What are you gonna do?
You little elf bitch.

1102
01:07:01,248 --> 01:07:02,684
Fu...

1103
01:07:02,708 --> 01:07:03,852
Bertie.

1104
01:07:03,876 --> 01:07:05,394
Hashtag "blessed."

1105
01:07:08,463 --> 01:07:11,066
Yeah!

1106
01:07:11,090 --> 01:07:12,067
Parkour.

1107
01:07:12,091 --> 01:07:13,234
Kill him, babe!

1108
01:07:13,258 --> 01:07:15,927
Oh!

1109
01:07:16,803 --> 01:07:18,428
Morgan's gonna save us.

1110
01:07:20,180 --> 01:07:23,933
Jean-Claude Van Dipshit
just ditched us, sweetie.

1111
01:07:30,939 --> 01:07:32,916
Hold your fire.

1112
01:07:32,940 --> 01:07:34,542
Barrel roll!

1113
01:07:36,275 --> 01:07:37,544
Easy, easy.

1114
01:07:37,568 --> 01:07:39,463
- Yeah!
- Easy.

1115
01:07:39,487 --> 01:07:40,755
Identify yourself.

1116
01:07:40,779 --> 01:07:43,132
I'm one of the hostages.

1117
01:07:43,156 --> 01:07:46,259
Morgan Steel, the actor.

1118
01:07:46,283 --> 01:07:49,261
Played a lot of soldiers
in my career.

1119
01:07:49,285 --> 01:07:52,872
Can I just say, thank you
for your service. Semper fi.

1120
01:07:53,706 --> 01:07:55,600
What's the situation inside?

1121
01:07:55,624 --> 01:07:58,019
Bunch of ex-military guys,

1122
01:07:58,043 --> 01:08:00,020
but I got to warn you,
they know you're coming.

1123
01:08:00,044 --> 01:08:01,689
I think they're ready for you.

1124
01:08:01,713 --> 01:08:03,523
They better be.

1125
01:08:03,547 --> 01:08:05,608
We're on a tight schedule.

1126
01:08:05,632 --> 01:08:07,466
Shit.

1127
01:08:10,803 --> 01:08:12,905
Oh, f...

1128
01:08:12,929 --> 01:08:16,223
- All right, let's move out.
- Let's move out.

1129
01:08:20,393 --> 01:08:21,996
Come on.

1130
01:08:22,020 --> 01:08:24,206
You got to be kidding me.

1131
01:08:24,230 --> 01:08:25,915
Hey, Thorp,
you're ten minutes late.

1132
01:08:25,939 --> 01:08:27,291
What kept you?

1133
01:08:27,315 --> 01:08:29,626
Looks to me like your net's
got a hole in it.

1134
01:08:29,650 --> 01:08:32,087
Or are you just letting your
hostages out for some exercise?

1135
01:08:32,111 --> 01:08:34,338
No, no, no. We got
a wild gopher running around

1136
01:08:34,362 --> 01:08:36,924
complicating shit
and causing problems.

1137
01:08:36,948 --> 01:08:38,508
Who? Lightstone security?

1138
01:08:38,532 --> 01:08:40,093
Nah, I don't think so.
Some intruder dressed as Santa.

1139
01:08:40,117 --> 01:08:41,511
But I'm telling you,
I'm telling you,

1140
01:08:41,535 --> 01:08:43,721
there's something weird
about him.

1141
01:08:43,745 --> 01:08:45,347
Might be the real Santa.

1142
01:08:45,371 --> 01:08:47,807
- The fuck did she just say?
- Nothing, nothing.

1143
01:08:47,831 --> 01:08:48,891
She's joking.

1144
01:08:48,915 --> 01:08:51,417
My squad will take care of it.

1145
01:08:53,794 --> 01:08:56,480
Beta Team, go find this asshole.

1146
01:08:56,504 --> 01:08:58,482
Go.

1147
01:08:58,506 --> 01:09:02,819
Now, let's unwrap our present,
shall we?

1148
01:09:02,843 --> 01:09:05,070
All right, you heard the man.

1149
01:09:05,094 --> 01:09:07,698
Time to kill Santa.

1150
01:09:07,722 --> 01:09:10,158
I've got him. He's on the roof.

1151
01:09:10,182 --> 01:09:12,476
Roger that. I got eyes on him.

1152
01:09:29,864 --> 01:09:31,841
Right, Sugarplum.
Hit that button.

1153
01:09:38,829 --> 01:09:40,681
Here we go.

1154
01:09:40,705 --> 01:09:42,058
Our skeleton key.

1155
01:09:42,082 --> 01:09:43,934
The "open" magic stick.

1156
01:09:43,958 --> 01:09:45,643
This better fucking work.

1157
01:09:45,667 --> 01:09:48,313
I'm flushing my career for this,
my reputation.

1158
01:09:48,337 --> 01:09:51,130
Yeah, well, then you can
buy yourself a new rep.

1159
01:10:00,054 --> 01:10:01,531
As a kid, I loved

1160
01:10:01,555 --> 01:10:03,574
unwrapping Christmas presents
so much

1161
01:10:03,598 --> 01:10:06,558
that my mom would wrap
empty boxes for me.

1162
01:10:07,476 --> 01:10:09,895
I didn't care
that nothing was inside.

1163
01:10:21,862 --> 01:10:24,423
Is this a fucking joke?

1164
01:10:24,447 --> 01:10:25,657
No.

1165
01:10:27,033 --> 01:10:28,927
You said it would
fucking be here!

1166
01:10:28,951 --> 01:10:32,554
I'm telling you,
my intel was rock solid.

1167
01:10:32,578 --> 01:10:34,872
I had guys on the inside.

1168
01:10:35,915 --> 01:10:39,602
300 million in cash
was delivered here yesterday

1169
01:10:39,626 --> 01:10:41,919
to this fucking mansion.

1170
01:10:46,923 --> 01:10:49,592
Somebody must've intercepted it.

1171
01:10:53,595 --> 01:10:55,638
Son of a bitch.

1172
01:11:18,030 --> 01:11:19,550
Oh, shit.

1173
01:11:19,574 --> 01:11:22,093
Santa, you okay?

1174
01:11:22,117 --> 01:11:23,678
Santa.

1175
01:11:23,702 --> 01:11:25,971
A bunch of new bad guys
showed up.

1176
01:11:25,995 --> 01:11:27,764
They're on the naughty list.

1177
01:11:27,788 --> 01:11:30,790
They got their gadgets
and their gizmos on them.

1178
01:11:31,624 --> 01:11:34,186
I'm sorry.
I think this is it, kid.

1179
01:11:34,210 --> 01:11:35,979
No, no, don't say that.

1180
01:11:36,003 --> 01:11:37,981
The naughty list...

1181
01:11:38,005 --> 01:11:40,423
just grows and grows.

1182
01:11:49,138 --> 01:11:52,950
He's in that structure.
Body cams on.

1183
01:11:52,974 --> 01:11:55,035
Don't give up.

1184
01:11:55,059 --> 01:11:57,620
You make a wish this time,
Santa.

1185
01:11:57,644 --> 01:11:59,247
Just this once.

1186
01:11:59,271 --> 01:12:02,166
If you could have anything
in this world,

1187
01:12:02,190 --> 01:12:04,442
what would it be?

1188
01:12:10,154 --> 01:12:13,175
I wish I could see
Mrs. Claus again,

1189
01:12:13,199 --> 01:12:16,302
tell her how much I love her.

1190
01:12:16,326 --> 01:12:19,137
Then you make
that wish come true.

1191
01:12:19,161 --> 01:12:21,306
Oh, shit.

1192
01:12:21,330 --> 01:12:23,640
No, no, no, no. No, no.

1193
01:12:25,416 --> 01:12:26,810
Oh, God.

1194
01:12:26,834 --> 01:12:29,669
No.

1195
01:12:42,054 --> 01:12:45,032
You said these guys,
they're naughty.

1196
01:12:45,056 --> 01:12:47,993
And what do you do
to the naughty ones?

1197
01:12:48,017 --> 01:12:49,869
I give them a lump of coal.

1198
01:12:49,893 --> 01:12:52,145
Yeah. Give them their lumps.

1199
01:12:53,355 --> 01:12:55,624
Take that coal and shove it
straight up their...

1200
01:12:55,648 --> 01:12:57,876
- Anuses.
- Yeah!

1201
01:13:03,862 --> 01:13:05,506
They're right outside.

1202
01:13:19,708 --> 01:13:22,186
Santa's gonna eat
through these guys

1203
01:13:22,210 --> 01:13:24,337
like a plate full of cookies.

1204
01:13:28,882 --> 01:13:30,258
Move, move.

1205
01:13:33,927 --> 01:13:35,720
Hey, lock it up.

1206
01:13:37,639 --> 01:13:39,473
Lights down.

1207
01:13:40,641 --> 01:13:42,534
Stay at my back.

1208
01:13:42,558 --> 01:13:44,662
All right, we got this, boys.

1209
01:14:03,534 --> 01:14:05,886
All right, where the fuck
is my money?!

1210
01:14:05,910 --> 01:14:08,288
Where's the money?!

1211
01:14:18,920 --> 01:14:21,816
All right, I've been
a sweetheart up to now.

1212
01:14:21,840 --> 01:14:23,275
But that's all over.

1213
01:14:23,299 --> 01:14:25,068
No more fucking games!

1214
01:14:25,092 --> 01:14:26,568
Where's the money?

1215
01:14:26,592 --> 01:14:29,637
Or I will shoot every last
one of you and enjoy it.

1216
01:14:33,765 --> 01:14:36,493
- It's in the vault.
- I just looked in the vault.

1217
01:14:36,517 --> 01:14:37,911
Had the money been in there,

1218
01:14:37,935 --> 01:14:39,745
I'd have a different
expression on my face.

1219
01:14:39,769 --> 01:14:41,122
Impossible.

1220
01:14:41,146 --> 01:14:43,207
Takes days to get
into that thing.

1221
01:14:43,231 --> 01:14:46,734
Not if we have the key,
Mrs. Lightstone.

1222
01:14:48,110 --> 01:14:50,129
Thorp.

1223
01:14:51,529 --> 01:14:54,090
You can't trust anyone
these days.

1224
01:14:54,114 --> 01:14:56,259
I'm not sure how, but you

1225
01:14:56,283 --> 01:14:59,136
or one of your shithead kids
moved the money.

1226
01:14:59,160 --> 01:15:01,013
And this upsets me.

1227
01:15:01,037 --> 01:15:02,847
It upsets me

1228
01:15:02,871 --> 01:15:06,874
in a way that makes me want to
just randomly shoot at people.

1229
01:15:07,875 --> 01:15:10,061
Hold on. Just... Sorry.

1230
01:15:10,085 --> 01:15:11,478
- Um...
- What? What?

1231
01:15:11,502 --> 01:15:12,855
Uh, what if you randomly shoot

1232
01:15:12,879 --> 01:15:15,464
the only person
who knows where it is?

1233
01:15:16,465 --> 01:15:18,776
Oh, fuck you people!

1234
01:15:23,387 --> 01:15:28,474
♪ We waited
all through the year ♪

1235
01:15:29,350 --> 01:15:34,371
♪ For the day to appear ♪

1236
01:15:36,272 --> 01:15:42,044
♪ When we could be together ♪

1237
01:15:42,068 --> 01:15:44,546
♪ In harmony ♪

1238
01:15:45,820 --> 01:15:48,132
♪ You know the time will come ♪

1239
01:15:51,116 --> 01:15:53,428
♪ Peace on Earth for everyone ♪

1240
01:15:53,452 --> 01:15:55,012
Suck on this.

1241
01:15:59,456 --> 01:16:04,311
♪ And we can live forever ♪

1242
01:16:04,335 --> 01:16:07,564
♪ In a world where we are free ♪

1243
01:16:07,588 --> 01:16:10,649
♪ Let it shine for you and me ♪

1244
01:16:10,673 --> 01:16:13,818
♪ There's something
about Christmastime ♪

1245
01:16:13,842 --> 01:16:16,987
♪ Something about
Christmastime ♪

1246
01:16:17,011 --> 01:16:19,990
♪ That makes you wish it was
Christmas every day... ♪

1247
01:16:20,014 --> 01:16:21,491
I need some feedback, guys.

1248
01:16:23,100 --> 01:16:25,060
Guys, what the hell is going on?

1249
01:16:25,851 --> 01:16:28,663
♪ The way that
the old folks smile ♪

1250
01:16:28,687 --> 01:16:33,316
♪ Says that Christmas
will never go away ♪

1251
01:16:34,858 --> 01:16:39,671
♪ We're all as one tonight ♪

1252
01:16:39,695 --> 01:16:44,384
♪ Makes no difference
if you're Black or white ♪

1253
01:16:47,327 --> 01:16:50,013
♪ 'Cause we can sing together ♪

1254
01:16:52,539 --> 01:16:54,749
♪ In harmony ♪

1255
01:16:56,667 --> 01:17:01,438
♪ I know it's not too late ♪

1256
01:17:01,462 --> 01:17:04,400
♪ The world would be ♪

1257
01:17:04,424 --> 01:17:07,843
♪ A better place ♪

1258
01:17:10,052 --> 01:17:11,446
- What's that?
- Huh?

1259
01:17:11,470 --> 01:17:13,532
♪ If we can keep the spirit ♪

1260
01:17:15,557 --> 01:17:17,868
♪ More than one day
in the year ♪

1261
01:17:17,892 --> 01:17:22,271
♪ Send a message
loud and clear ♪

1262
01:17:23,563 --> 01:17:26,458
♪ There's something
about Christmastime ♪

1263
01:17:26,482 --> 01:17:29,001
♪ Something about
Christmastime ♪

1264
01:17:29,025 --> 01:17:33,338
♪ That makes you wish
it was Christmas every day ♪

1265
01:17:35,406 --> 01:17:38,926
♪ To see the joy
in the children's eyes ♪

1266
01:17:38,950 --> 01:17:41,803
♪ The way that
the old folks smile ♪

1267
01:17:41,827 --> 01:17:46,873
♪ Says that Christmas
will never go away ♪

1268
01:17:47,665 --> 01:17:50,435
♪ It's the time of year
when everyone's together... ♪

1269
01:17:50,459 --> 01:17:52,586
Jesus Christ.

1270
01:17:53,336 --> 01:17:55,730
Nope. Just jolly old Saint Nick.

1271
01:17:55,754 --> 01:17:58,149
♪ Here on Christmas Day ♪

1272
01:17:59,716 --> 01:18:03,445
♪ When the ones you love
are there ♪

1273
01:18:03,469 --> 01:18:08,282
♪ You can feel the magic
in the air... ♪

1274
01:18:08,306 --> 01:18:11,034
- Oh, God!
- There you go.

1275
01:18:11,058 --> 01:18:12,767
A little stocking stuffer.

1276
01:18:13,560 --> 01:18:17,122
Where is it?
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

1277
01:18:17,146 --> 01:18:19,583
Fuck, fuck, fuck.

1278
01:18:19,607 --> 01:18:22,317
- I got to watch.
- Fuck!

1279
01:18:23,443 --> 01:18:25,628
Ho-Ho-Holy shit.

1280
01:18:25,652 --> 01:18:27,922
♪ Christmas will never
go away. ♪

1281
01:18:27,946 --> 01:18:30,632
Gertrude would never
trust anybody

1282
01:18:30,656 --> 01:18:33,093
who wasn't blood
with this kind of info.

1283
01:18:33,117 --> 01:18:34,802
So...

1284
01:18:34,826 --> 01:18:38,430
the in-laws wouldn't know shit,

1285
01:18:38,454 --> 01:18:40,974
which means
that I can shoot her...

1286
01:18:42,540 --> 01:18:44,518
unless you tell me
where the fucking money is.

1287
01:18:44,542 --> 01:18:46,769
Please don't, okay?
It's Christmas.

1288
01:18:46,793 --> 01:18:48,629
Shut up!

1289
01:18:49,505 --> 01:18:50,899
I swear,
I'll blow her brains out

1290
01:18:50,923 --> 01:18:52,316
unless you tell me
where the money went.

1291
01:18:52,340 --> 01:18:54,526
I did it!

1292
01:18:54,550 --> 01:18:56,944
- What?
- Okay. Yeah, I did it.

1293
01:18:56,968 --> 01:18:58,863
- I moved the money.
- No, d-don't-don't be an idiot.

1294
01:18:58,887 --> 01:19:00,614
- What?
- The money's our only leverage.

1295
01:19:00,638 --> 01:19:02,199
Well, my wife has a fucking
gun to her head, so...

1296
01:19:02,223 --> 01:19:04,284
Yeah, how did you find out
that we were coming, huh?

1297
01:19:04,308 --> 01:19:05,951
I didn't. I was stealing it.

1298
01:19:07,143 --> 01:19:08,579
- Yeah, coincidence.
- Oh, my God.

1299
01:19:08,603 --> 01:19:09,954
I was planning to take the money

1300
01:19:09,978 --> 01:19:13,123
and leave with my wife
and daughter tonight

1301
01:19:13,147 --> 01:19:15,125
and never come back here.

1302
01:19:15,149 --> 01:19:18,503
Oh, and then my mom would, uh,

1303
01:19:18,527 --> 01:19:20,505
read the note with her whiskey
in the morning

1304
01:19:20,529 --> 01:19:22,297
and know what I had done.

1305
01:19:22,321 --> 01:19:24,591
For years,
I have been telling you

1306
01:19:24,615 --> 01:19:26,967
to stop caring about
your mother's fucking money!

1307
01:19:26,991 --> 01:19:30,245
And you think the solution
was to steal a bunch of it.

1308
01:19:31,036 --> 01:19:33,223
Well, it...
yeah, it does sound stupid

1309
01:19:33,247 --> 01:19:34,724
when you say it like that.

1310
01:19:34,748 --> 01:19:36,725
How can you do this right now?

1311
01:19:36,749 --> 01:19:38,810
It's disgusting. After all
that Mother has given us?

1312
01:19:38,834 --> 01:19:41,020
Come on, Alva.
Everything she ever gave you,

1313
01:19:41,044 --> 01:19:42,313
she made damn sure we knew

1314
01:19:42,337 --> 01:19:43,564
she had the power
to take right back.

1315
01:19:43,588 --> 01:19:47,442
I have spent years
groveling to you.

1316
01:19:47,466 --> 01:19:50,236
In the meanwhile,
I was destroying

1317
01:19:50,260 --> 01:19:52,279
the only good thing in my life.

1318
01:19:52,303 --> 01:19:53,655
What are we doing here, huh?

1319
01:19:53,679 --> 01:19:56,282
Family therapy or doing a heist?

1320
01:19:56,306 --> 01:19:59,535
- Yeah, enough of this sharing
bullshit. -

1321
01:19:59,559 --> 01:20:01,519
All right. Where'd you put it?

1322
01:20:07,690 --> 01:20:10,359
Look at this little idiot.

1323
01:20:14,070 --> 01:20:15,421
Oh, no.

1324
01:20:15,445 --> 01:20:17,257
What?

1325
01:20:17,281 --> 01:20:19,175
- The bad guys found me.
- Okay.

1326
01:20:19,199 --> 01:20:21,033
I'm coming.

1327
01:20:27,622 --> 01:20:31,542
You know, booby traps don't work
unless you hide them.

1328
01:20:34,210 --> 01:20:35,712
You little moron.

1329
01:20:38,755 --> 01:20:41,091
Jesus! Shit!

1330
01:20:44,969 --> 01:20:47,113
Help me! Help me! Help!

1331
01:20:48,555 --> 01:20:50,657
You'll be f... You'll be fine.

1332
01:20:50,681 --> 01:20:52,850
Sit tight.
I'll be back in a sec.

1333
01:20:55,727 --> 01:20:58,062
Right after I kill
this little piece of shit!

1334
01:21:00,814 --> 01:21:03,209
You little fucking brat.

1335
01:21:51,646 --> 01:21:53,414
You're dead!

1336
01:21:53,438 --> 01:21:55,940
You're so fucking dead!

1337
01:22:03,112 --> 01:22:05,572
Fucking piece of shit.

1338
01:22:10,618 --> 01:22:13,454
You little...

1339
01:22:30,717 --> 01:22:32,760
Incoming!

1340
01:22:51,483 --> 01:22:53,294
Son of a fucking...

1341
01:23:03,367 --> 01:23:05,303
Fuck.

1342
01:23:05,327 --> 01:23:07,096
I got you now, kid.

1343
01:23:07,120 --> 01:23:08,788
Yeah? Heads up.

1344
01:23:10,915 --> 01:23:12,517
That's all you got?
You fucking...

1345
01:23:15,377 --> 01:23:17,920
Enough of this shit.

1346
01:23:43,481 --> 01:23:44,691
Santa!

1347
01:23:54,615 --> 01:23:56,843
Hi, Trudy. Hi.

1348
01:23:56,867 --> 01:23:59,679
I made booby traps like
in the movie. It was so funny.

1349
01:23:59,703 --> 01:24:02,305
Ho, ho, ho.

1350
01:24:08,209 --> 01:24:12,129
Trudy, I want you to, uh...
just do me a favor.

1351
01:24:12,963 --> 01:24:15,858
Just turn around
and close your eyes.

1352
01:24:15,882 --> 01:24:18,693
Maybe put your fingers
in your ears and, uh,

1353
01:24:18,717 --> 01:24:21,738
sing "Jingle Bells"
as loud as you can.

1354
01:24:21,762 --> 01:24:23,739
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪

1355
01:24:23,763 --> 01:24:26,032
♪ Jingle all the way ♪

1356
01:24:26,056 --> 01:24:28,284
♪ Oh, how fun it is to ride... ♪

1357
01:24:28,308 --> 01:24:31,244
You were about to murder
an innocent child.

1358
01:24:31,268 --> 01:24:32,579
♪ Jingle bells,
jingle bells... ♪

1359
01:24:32,603 --> 01:24:34,205
Innocent?

1360
01:24:34,229 --> 01:24:36,206
It's naughty.

1361
01:24:36,230 --> 01:24:37,690
Naughty.

1362
01:24:38,441 --> 01:24:39,876
Naughty!

1363
01:24:39,900 --> 01:24:41,586
It's part of
the Lightstone legacy.

1364
01:24:41,610 --> 01:24:43,212
We're horrible people.

1365
01:24:43,236 --> 01:24:45,088
So I get why you did
what you did.

1366
01:24:45,112 --> 01:24:47,174
When your grandfather told me
I'd never run the company

1367
01:24:47,198 --> 01:24:49,592
because a girl
doesn't have what it takes,

1368
01:24:49,616 --> 01:24:51,594
I had to snatch the reins
away from him.

1369
01:24:51,618 --> 01:24:53,052
But the point is,

1370
01:24:53,076 --> 01:24:54,804
a Lightstone takes
what's theirs.

1371
01:24:54,828 --> 01:24:56,473
I'm proud of you, son.

1372
01:24:56,497 --> 01:24:57,931
All right, where the hell is it?

1373
01:25:00,291 --> 01:25:02,209
The money's hidden inside.

1374
01:25:03,376 --> 01:25:06,480
And the Three Wise Men
presented him with gifts

1375
01:25:06,504 --> 01:25:09,340
of frankincense, myrrh...

1376
01:25:11,466 --> 01:25:14,528
and cold hard cash.

1377
01:25:14,552 --> 01:25:15,987
Load it up, boys.

1378
01:25:16,011 --> 01:25:18,239
All right,
we're securing the money.

1379
01:25:18,263 --> 01:25:20,324
Kill the hostages
and meet us outside.

1380
01:25:20,348 --> 01:25:22,117
What?

1381
01:25:22,141 --> 01:25:24,118
No.

1382
01:25:25,936 --> 01:25:27,371
Mom.

1383
01:25:27,395 --> 01:25:28,747
It's fine, Bert.

1384
01:25:28,771 --> 01:25:30,248
Everything's fine.

1385
01:25:30,272 --> 01:25:32,334
Okay.

1386
01:25:32,358 --> 01:25:34,251
Everybody, get up.

1387
01:25:34,275 --> 01:25:38,755
It's time for a murder.

1388
01:25:38,779 --> 01:25:41,341
Come on. Come on.
You don't want to kill us.

1389
01:25:41,365 --> 01:25:42,674
You really don't.

1390
01:25:42,698 --> 01:25:44,843
Oh, yes, I do.

1391
01:25:44,867 --> 01:25:47,929
I really, really, really do.

1392
01:25:47,953 --> 01:25:49,639
And I'm gonna start with you.

1393
01:25:49,663 --> 01:25:50,972
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

1394
01:25:50,996 --> 01:25:52,289
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

1395
01:25:53,999 --> 01:25:55,684
You got to kill
Aunt Linda first.

1396
01:25:55,708 --> 01:25:57,436
What the hell, Bert?

1397
01:25:57,460 --> 01:25:59,521
You want to squeeze in
being a little shit

1398
01:25:59,545 --> 01:26:01,064
before you die, Bertrude?

1399
01:26:01,088 --> 01:26:02,690
- I say shoot him first.
- What?

1400
01:26:02,714 --> 01:26:04,775
Wait. No, no, no.
Don't shoot him.

1401
01:26:04,799 --> 01:26:06,819
Don't shoot him first.
And don't you call him

1402
01:26:06,843 --> 01:26:08,528
a little shit,
you gold-digging bitch.

1403
01:26:08,552 --> 01:26:10,238
Okay. I changed my mind.

1404
01:26:10,262 --> 01:26:12,198
- Shoot the alcoholic bitch
first. -Don't call my mom

1405
01:26:12,222 --> 01:26:14,282
- an alcoholic bitch.
- Your mom's an alcoholic.

1406
01:26:14,306 --> 01:26:16,117
- I'm sorry.
- You're a gold-digging bitch.

1407
01:26:16,141 --> 01:26:18,285
Oh, I'm a gold-digger,
when I have a whole-ass career?

1408
01:26:18,309 --> 01:26:19,954
You're not even part
of the fucking family.

1409
01:26:19,978 --> 01:26:22,705
- She's an engineer.
- You know goddamn well...

1410
01:26:22,729 --> 01:26:24,106
Shut up!

1411
01:26:27,817 --> 01:26:31,903
Just like rats in a barrel.

1412
01:26:32,696 --> 01:26:34,840
Why don't you die
with some dignity?

1413
01:26:39,909 --> 01:26:41,804
Get off of me!

1414
01:26:41,828 --> 01:26:43,555
Okay, okay.

1415
01:26:43,579 --> 01:26:44,806
Fuck you!

1416
01:26:44,830 --> 01:26:47,392
This is for yelling at my child!

1417
01:26:47,416 --> 01:26:48,809
Creep!

1418
01:26:48,833 --> 01:26:50,352
That's for slapping me,
motherfucker!

1419
01:26:50,376 --> 01:26:52,436
This is for
your dumb fucking hat!

1420
01:27:02,093 --> 01:27:03,737
Is he...

1421
01:27:03,761 --> 01:27:05,304
Is he dead?

1422
01:27:09,182 --> 01:27:11,058
Yeah.

1423
01:27:11,851 --> 01:27:13,453
Thanks, Linda.

1424
01:27:13,477 --> 01:27:16,664
Well, it's nice to do something
as a family for a change.

1425
01:27:17,856 --> 01:27:19,541
Oh, shit!

1426
01:27:19,565 --> 01:27:21,418
I'm gonna...

1427
01:27:25,528 --> 01:27:27,047
That was for Morgan.

1428
01:27:27,071 --> 01:27:32,074
He may have been stupid,
but he was very, very hot.

1429
01:27:33,451 --> 01:27:35,804
Oh. Trudy!

1430
01:27:35,828 --> 01:27:38,222
Mommy!

1431
01:27:38,246 --> 01:27:39,849
Thank God, baby.

1432
01:27:39,873 --> 01:27:41,766
Are you okay?

1433
01:27:41,790 --> 01:27:43,518
I'm okay, Mommy.

1434
01:27:43,542 --> 01:27:44,686
Okay.

1435
01:27:44,710 --> 01:27:47,211
This is my friend, Santa.

1436
01:27:51,632 --> 01:27:53,693
What the fuck?

1437
01:27:53,717 --> 01:27:55,527
I can't thank you enough,
Mister...

1438
01:27:55,551 --> 01:27:57,863
Claus. But please call me Santa.

1439
01:27:57,887 --> 01:27:59,238
Mm-hmm.

1440
01:27:59,262 --> 01:28:01,365
You guys should get out of here.

1441
01:28:01,389 --> 01:28:02,824
It's dangerous.

1442
01:28:02,848 --> 01:28:05,184
They took my husband
and her grandmother.

1443
01:28:07,018 --> 01:28:08,621
Anybody know how to work
these gizmos?

1444
01:28:08,645 --> 01:28:09,955
I think so.

1445
01:28:09,979 --> 01:28:11,706
I used to hunt with my dad.

1446
01:28:11,730 --> 01:28:12,874
Ow.

1447
01:28:12,898 --> 01:28:14,542
Copy that. How's that looking?

1448
01:28:14,566 --> 01:28:17,377
- Yeah, I got it on lockdown.
- Heads on a swivel, boys.

1449
01:28:18,736 --> 01:28:20,338
- Incoming!
- Heads up!

1450
01:28:21,571 --> 01:28:23,049
Oh, oh! Who's shooting?

1451
01:28:23,073 --> 01:28:24,716
Who's...

1452
01:28:24,740 --> 01:28:27,910
- Cap, get down!
- Watch it! Watch it!

1453
01:28:32,997 --> 01:28:35,374
Gun 'em down. Mow them all down.

1454
01:28:51,219 --> 01:28:54,031
- All right, let's get the fuck
out of here. -Let's go.

1455
01:28:54,055 --> 01:28:56,556
- Go where?
- Come on, move, you old bat.

1456
01:28:57,307 --> 01:28:59,267
Get your fucking
hands off of me.

1457
01:29:09,400 --> 01:29:11,711
Oh! Oh, shit.

1458
01:29:11,735 --> 01:29:15,113
My balls! My fucking balls!

1459
01:29:31,750 --> 01:29:34,586
Ow, my balls! Why did you
shoot me in the ball...

1460
01:29:38,423 --> 01:29:40,775
Oh, Jesus.

1461
01:29:40,799 --> 01:29:42,443
Sorry.

1462
01:29:44,301 --> 01:29:46,947
Don't worry about us, Mr. Claus.
We got this.

1463
01:29:46,971 --> 01:29:49,198
Who is that guy?

1464
01:29:49,222 --> 01:29:51,850
He said he was Mr. Claus.

1465
01:29:53,642 --> 01:29:55,662
- Fuck. Trudy.
- No, no.

1466
01:29:55,686 --> 01:29:57,288
She's in the house. She's okay.

1467
01:29:57,312 --> 01:29:58,664
She's safe.

1468
01:29:58,688 --> 01:30:00,791
- Oh, thank God.
- Yeah.

1469
01:30:21,539 --> 01:30:22,975
No, no.

1470
01:30:22,999 --> 01:30:25,643
- Oh... go, go, go, go, go.
- No, no, no. Wait, wait.

1471
01:31:11,495 --> 01:31:13,913
Oh, shit!

1472
01:31:16,165 --> 01:31:18,958
Ho, ho!

1473
01:31:20,668 --> 01:31:21,877
Fuck!

1474
01:32:05,452 --> 01:32:08,122
Fucking die.

1475
01:33:01,288 --> 01:33:03,140
Come on. Come on. Come on.

1476
01:33:03,164 --> 01:33:06,434
Yeah, over here. Over here.

1477
01:33:06,458 --> 01:33:07,709
Santa!

1478
01:33:08,668 --> 01:33:10,479
Come on!

1479
01:33:10,503 --> 01:33:11,938
Yeah.

1480
01:33:55,746 --> 01:33:56,997
Fuck.

1481
01:34:20,682 --> 01:34:22,725
You're real?

1482
01:34:24,101 --> 01:34:26,519
You're... him.

1483
01:34:29,522 --> 01:34:30,750
You're you.

1484
01:34:30,774 --> 01:34:33,460
That's what I've been trying
to tell you.

1485
01:34:33,484 --> 01:34:36,837
The real goddamn Santa Claus.

1486
01:34:36,861 --> 01:34:39,298
This is not your night, pal.

1487
01:34:39,322 --> 01:34:42,425
Oh, I don't know.
I think you're wrong.

1488
01:34:42,449 --> 01:34:45,844
I think my whole shitty life's
built up to this moment.

1489
01:34:45,868 --> 01:34:47,221
Because when I kill you,

1490
01:34:47,245 --> 01:34:50,538
this whole goddamn holiday
finally ends.

1491
01:34:52,290 --> 01:34:54,208
Whatever it takes...

1492
01:34:55,960 --> 01:34:58,020
Christmas dies tonight.

1493
01:35:50,252 --> 01:35:51,895
Whoa!

1494
01:37:17,152 --> 01:37:19,737
The last Christmas.

1495
01:37:29,578 --> 01:37:32,205
Not if you still believe.

1496
01:37:33,998 --> 01:37:35,976
No!

1497
01:38:04,021 --> 01:38:07,690
I have no idea what the fuck
is going on here.

1498
01:38:10,068 --> 01:38:12,194
But this ends now.

1499
01:38:17,115 --> 01:38:18,908
Damn right it does.

1500
01:38:28,082 --> 01:38:30,250
Trudy, be careful.

1501
01:38:33,961 --> 01:38:35,855
Santa!

1502
01:38:35,879 --> 01:38:38,381
Oh, no. Santa.

1503
01:38:39,841 --> 01:38:41,384
Oh, no.

1504
01:38:48,180 --> 01:38:50,349
You saved my daughter.

1505
01:38:51,142 --> 01:38:52,684
No.

1506
01:38:53,476 --> 01:38:55,037
She saved me.

1507
01:38:55,061 --> 01:38:57,789
Help him. Please help him.

1508
01:38:57,813 --> 01:39:00,290
Honey, I don't think
there's anything we can do.

1509
01:39:00,314 --> 01:39:01,542
It's okay. It's okay.

1510
01:39:01,566 --> 01:39:03,877
It's too late for that.

1511
01:39:03,901 --> 01:39:06,236
Too late.

1512
01:39:07,028 --> 01:39:09,673
I'm cold.

1513
01:39:09,697 --> 01:39:11,925
I haven't felt cold in years.

1514
01:39:11,949 --> 01:39:13,992
We need to keep him warm.

1515
01:39:14,826 --> 01:39:17,221
All of the fires are going out.

1516
01:39:17,245 --> 01:39:19,538
We need to find
something to burn.

1517
01:39:20,873 --> 01:39:22,415
I got an idea.

1518
01:39:25,334 --> 01:39:27,294
Whoa.

1519
01:39:28,837 --> 01:39:30,231
No.

1520
01:39:30,255 --> 01:39:32,399
No, no, no, no. No, Jason, no.

1521
01:39:32,423 --> 01:39:33,525
Please, Santa.

1522
01:39:33,549 --> 01:39:36,551
I don't want you to die.

1523
01:39:39,637 --> 01:39:41,322
Jason, let's slow this down.

1524
01:39:41,346 --> 01:39:42,824
What are you doing?

1525
01:39:42,848 --> 01:39:46,118
I've lived longer
than any man should ever live.

1526
01:39:46,142 --> 01:39:48,828
He's pretty much dead.
What the hell is happening?

1527
01:39:48,852 --> 01:39:50,913
- You don't need to burn money.
- Okay. More. Yeah.

1528
01:39:50,937 --> 01:39:54,374
You can't die, Santa.
You have to get up.

1529
01:39:54,398 --> 01:39:56,942
I think I used up
all my Christmas magic.

1530
01:39:57,942 --> 01:39:59,569
Sorry.

1531
01:40:01,613 --> 01:40:05,341
I'm s... I'm sorry I can't
give you what you asked for.

1532
01:40:06,949 --> 01:40:09,219
Take that. Take that.

1533
01:40:09,243 --> 01:40:10,785
But you did.

1534
01:40:13,538 --> 01:40:15,849
Santa, please don't die.

1535
01:40:15,873 --> 01:40:18,393
Wake up. Wake up.

1536
01:40:18,417 --> 01:40:21,061
We need to get him
close to the fire.

1537
01:40:21,085 --> 01:40:22,962
Jason.

1538
01:40:23,713 --> 01:40:25,672
Just wake up.

1539
01:40:26,715 --> 01:40:28,067
Please.

1540
01:40:28,091 --> 01:40:29,967
No.

1541
01:40:34,304 --> 01:40:37,556
Oh, I am so, so sorry.

1542
01:40:42,477 --> 01:40:45,188
This man...

1543
01:40:46,021 --> 01:40:49,834
This brave, brave man,
whoever he was...

1544
01:40:49,858 --> 01:40:51,126
He's Santa.

1545
01:40:51,150 --> 01:40:53,378
The real Santa. He is.

1546
01:40:53,402 --> 01:40:56,488
And I still believe in him.

1547
01:40:57,322 --> 01:40:59,990
I'll always believe in you,
Santa.

1548
01:41:04,619 --> 01:41:06,579
I believe in him, too.

1549
01:41:09,581 --> 01:41:12,392
He saved Trudy.

1550
01:41:12,416 --> 01:41:14,669
He saved our family.

1551
01:41:16,629 --> 01:41:18,964
What's realer than that?

1552
01:41:22,925 --> 01:41:24,718
Then maybe...

1553
01:41:27,220 --> 01:41:29,347
I believe in him, too.

1554
01:41:30,180 --> 01:41:31,723
So do I.

1555
01:41:32,766 --> 01:41:36,078
Oh, shit.

1556
01:41:36,102 --> 01:41:38,205
I guess...

1557
01:41:38,229 --> 01:41:40,289
I guess I do, too.

1558
01:41:40,313 --> 01:41:42,124
Fuck me.

1559
01:41:42,148 --> 01:41:43,941
I believe, too.

1560
01:41:54,366 --> 01:41:55,885
Oh, my God.

1561
01:41:55,909 --> 01:41:57,076
Santa!

1562
01:42:02,080 --> 01:42:03,623
You...

1563
01:42:05,374 --> 01:42:07,418
You were dead.

1564
01:42:08,210 --> 01:42:10,771
Christmas magic.

1565
01:42:10,795 --> 01:42:13,399
I still don't really
understand...

1566
01:42:13,423 --> 01:42:15,382
how it works.

1567
01:42:21,012 --> 01:42:22,906
Thank you.

1568
01:42:22,930 --> 01:42:24,949
I don't know
how we can ever repay you.

1569
01:42:24,973 --> 01:42:27,118
Well, you brought me back
from the dead,

1570
01:42:27,142 --> 01:42:28,726
so we'll call it even.

1571
01:42:29,893 --> 01:42:31,079
Even?

1572
01:42:31,103 --> 01:42:33,771
We just burned
half a million dollars.

1573
01:42:34,606 --> 01:42:36,207
- Look, Santa!
- Hmm?

1574
01:42:36,231 --> 01:42:37,584
Look who came.

1575
01:42:44,780 --> 01:42:48,301
Now you show up, huh?

1576
01:42:48,325 --> 01:42:49,759
You leave me here to die,

1577
01:42:49,783 --> 01:42:52,012
come back after
all the work's done, huh?

1578
01:42:52,036 --> 01:42:54,763
You know what? I should make
you guys into a stew

1579
01:42:54,787 --> 01:42:57,016
and feed you to the elves!

1580
01:42:58,999 --> 01:43:03,729
Yes, Blitzen!
Yes, I'm talking to you!

1581
01:43:03,753 --> 01:43:05,880
You, too, Prancer.

1582
01:43:11,259 --> 01:43:13,278
You got my sack.

1583
01:43:13,302 --> 01:43:17,597
My spare... You went home
and you got my spare sack?

1584
01:43:19,474 --> 01:43:22,201
Oh, God, I can't stay mad
at you guys.

1585
01:43:22,225 --> 01:43:23,786
I...

1586
01:43:23,810 --> 01:43:28,165
Aw. I can't. I can't.

1587
01:43:28,189 --> 01:43:30,940
Aw.

1588
01:43:31,983 --> 01:43:34,085
Aw.

1589
01:43:44,993 --> 01:43:46,512
Hello, beautiful.

1590
01:43:46,536 --> 01:43:48,454
Skullcrusher!

1591
01:44:01,464 --> 01:44:03,108
Guess this is goodbye.

1592
01:44:03,132 --> 01:44:04,591
I got to go.

1593
01:44:05,467 --> 01:44:07,594
Do you have to?

1594
01:44:10,888 --> 01:44:13,033
It's Christmas Eve,
and there's a lot of...

1595
01:44:13,057 --> 01:44:14,742
boys and girls on the nice list

1596
01:44:14,766 --> 01:44:17,185
that want their presents,
you know?

1597
01:44:19,311 --> 01:44:20,979
Thank you.

1598
01:44:21,980 --> 01:44:23,540
For what?

1599
01:44:23,564 --> 01:44:25,209
For believing in me.

1600
01:44:25,233 --> 01:44:28,568
For reminding me
that Christmas still matters.

1601
01:44:30,153 --> 01:44:32,589
And that I still...

1602
01:44:32,613 --> 01:44:34,966
matter.

1603
01:44:36,533 --> 01:44:38,702
You gave me
my "ho, ho, ho" back.

1604
01:44:48,583 --> 01:44:50,919
All right. Get out of here.

1605
01:44:54,630 --> 01:44:57,549
Merry Christmas!

1606
01:45:00,093 --> 01:45:01,320
Hyah!

1607
01:45:01,344 --> 01:45:04,698
Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer!

1608
01:45:04,722 --> 01:45:06,824
Now, Prancer and Vixen!

1609
01:45:06,848 --> 01:45:10,327
On, Comet! On, Cupid!

1610
01:45:10,351 --> 01:45:13,329
On, Donner and Blitzen!

1611
01:45:13,353 --> 01:45:16,915
Come on, you beautiful bastards!

1612
01:45:16,939 --> 01:45:20,292
We've got some work to do!

1613
01:45:20,316 --> 01:45:23,337
Hyah!

1614
01:45:23,361 --> 01:45:26,047
Ho, ho, ho!

1615
01:45:26,071 --> 01:45:29,258
Merry Christmas!

1616
01:45:40,207 --> 01:45:46,170
♪ Are you hanging up
your stocking on your wall? ♪

1617
01:45:48,130 --> 01:45:54,051
♪ It's the time that
every Santa has a ball ♪

1618
01:45:55,802 --> 01:45:59,656
♪ Does he ride
a red-nosed reindeer? ♪

1619
01:45:59,680 --> 01:46:03,201
♪ Does a ton-up on his sleigh? ♪

1620
01:46:03,225 --> 01:46:09,146
♪ Do the fairies
keep him sober for a day? ♪

1621
01:46:09,938 --> 01:46:12,374
♪ So here it is ♪

1622
01:46:12,398 --> 01:46:14,376
♪ Merry Christmas ♪

1623
01:46:14,400 --> 01:46:18,880
♪ Everybody's having fun ♪

1624
01:46:18,904 --> 01:46:22,340
♪ Look to the future now ♪

1625
01:46:22,364 --> 01:46:29,346
♪ It's only just begun ♪

1626
01:46:29,370 --> 01:46:35,333
♪ Are you waiting for
the family to arrive? ♪

1627
01:46:37,293 --> 01:46:39,228
♪ Are you sure you got ♪

1628
01:46:39,252 --> 01:46:42,964
♪ The room to spare inside? ♪

1629
01:46:44,673 --> 01:46:48,194
♪ Does your granny
always tell ya ♪

1630
01:46:48,218 --> 01:46:51,989
♪ That the old songs
are the best? ♪

1631
01:46:52,013 --> 01:46:55,200
♪ Then she's up
and rock-and-rolling ♪

1632
01:46:55,224 --> 01:46:57,534
♪ With the rest ♪

1633
01:46:57,558 --> 01:46:59,703
Hey, yo!
What's Gucci, squad fam?

1634
01:46:59,727 --> 01:47:02,789
It's the Bert Locker,
living the dream.

1635
01:47:02,813 --> 01:47:04,874
You know what? See this guy?
Dead as hell.

1636
01:47:04,898 --> 01:47:06,666
Santa's real, all right?

1637
01:47:06,690 --> 01:47:08,543
Don't end up
on the naughty list.

1638
01:47:08,567 --> 01:47:09,794
Do better.

1639
01:47:09,818 --> 01:47:11,921
Bert Lightstone out.

1640
01:47:11,945 --> 01:47:13,964
♪ So here it is ♪

1641
01:47:13,988 --> 01:47:15,965
♪ Merry Christmas ♪

1642
01:47:15,989 --> 01:47:20,511
♪ Everybody's having fun ♪

1643
01:47:20,535 --> 01:47:23,805
♪ Look to the future now ♪

1644
01:47:23,829 --> 01:47:29,976
♪ It's only just begun ♪

1645
01:47:30,000 --> 01:47:32,436
♪ So here it is ♪

1646
01:47:32,460 --> 01:47:34,438
♪ Merry Christmas ♪

1647
01:47:34,462 --> 01:47:37,482
♪ Everybody's having fun ♪

1648
01:47:37,506 --> 01:47:42,069
- ♪ It's Christmas! ♪
- ♪ Look to the future now ♪

1649
01:47:42,093 --> 01:47:49,783
♪ It's only just begun. ♪

1650
01:47:53,143 --> 01:47:54,829
♪ Ding dong merrily on high ♪

1651
01:47:54,853 --> 01:47:56,831
♪ Let's be good ♪

1652
01:47:56,855 --> 01:48:00,959
- ♪ This coming yuletide ♪
- ♪ Ding dong verily the sky ♪

1653
01:48:00,983 --> 01:48:03,502
♪ Or you'll see ♪

1654
01:48:03,526 --> 01:48:08,589
♪ Kris Kringle's cruel side ♪

1655
01:48:08,613 --> 01:48:12,008
♪ Santa's getting mad,
better not be bad ♪

1656
01:48:12,032 --> 01:48:15,136
♪ Gonna go to bed on time
this Christmas ♪

1657
01:48:15,160 --> 01:48:18,138
♪ We don't want to be
on that list ♪

1658
01:48:18,162 --> 01:48:21,182
- ♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪
- ♪ Unhappy! ♪

1659
01:48:21,206 --> 01:48:24,727
♪ He's told you once,
he's told you twice ♪

1660
01:48:24,751 --> 01:48:27,521
♪ Too much naughty,
not enough nice ♪

1661
01:48:27,545 --> 01:48:33,049
♪ Santa Claus has had enough
of Christmas ♪

1662
01:48:34,174 --> 01:48:37,112
♪ Where's the love
and where's the joy? ♪

1663
01:48:37,136 --> 01:48:40,281
♪ Always cash and never a toy ♪

1664
01:48:40,305 --> 01:48:45,660
♪ Santa Claus has had enough
of Christmas ♪

1665
01:48:45,684 --> 01:48:51,980
♪ Ah... ♪

1666
01:48:53,607 --> 01:48:55,501
♪ Santa's getting mad ♪

1667
01:48:55,525 --> 01:48:57,627
- ♪ Don't you make Santa crazy ♪
- ♪ Better not be bad ♪

1668
01:48:57,651 --> 01:49:00,296
-♪ Gonna go to bed on time
this Christmas ♪ -♪ Baby ♪

1669
01:49:00,320 --> 01:49:02,882
♪ We don't want to be
on that list ♪

1670
01:49:02,906 --> 01:49:06,551
- ♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪
- ♪ Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho ♪

1671
01:49:06,575 --> 01:49:09,720
♪ If you don't want ♪

1672
01:49:09,744 --> 01:49:12,806
♪ Coal this Christmas ♪

1673
01:49:12,830 --> 01:49:15,933
♪ Deck the halls
with boughs of holly ♪

1674
01:49:15,957 --> 01:49:19,102
♪ Make sure you keep
Santa jolly ♪

1675
01:49:19,126 --> 01:49:22,271
♪ Don't make his reindeer ♪

1676
01:49:22,295 --> 01:49:26,941
♪ Cause you some pain, dear ♪

1677
01:49:26,965 --> 01:49:30,111
♪ Santa's getting mad,
better not be bad ♪

1678
01:49:30,135 --> 01:49:33,363
♪ Gonna go to bed on time
this Christmas ♪

1679
01:49:33,387 --> 01:49:36,324
♪ We don't want to be
on that list ♪

1680
01:49:36,348 --> 01:49:39,702
- ♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪
- ♪ Ooh-ooh... ♪

1681
01:49:39,726 --> 01:49:42,495
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪

1682
01:49:42,519 --> 01:49:44,163
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la ♪

1683
01:49:44,187 --> 01:49:47,666
♪ Don't make him crazy ♪

1684
01:49:47,690 --> 01:49:49,042
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la ♪

1685
01:49:49,066 --> 01:49:52,211
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪

1686
01:49:52,235 --> 01:49:55,213
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪

1687
01:49:55,237 --> 01:49:58,466
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪

1688
01:49:58,490 --> 01:50:01,552
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪

1689
01:50:01,576 --> 01:50:03,345
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la ♪

1690
01:50:03,369 --> 01:50:06,555
♪ Hark, the herald angels sing ♪

1691
01:50:06,579 --> 01:50:09,224
♪ Dashing through the snow ♪

1692
01:50:09,248 --> 01:50:10,934
♪ On the first day
of Christmas ♪

1693
01:50:10,958 --> 01:50:12,518
♪ My true love gave to me ♪

1694
01:50:12,542 --> 01:50:15,312
♪ Good King Wenceslas
looked out ♪

1695
01:50:15,336 --> 01:50:18,231
♪ On the Feast of Stephen ♪

1696
01:50:18,255 --> 01:50:21,359
♪ Jingle bells. ♪

1697
01:50:44,109 --> 01:50:46,878
♪ Ding dong merrily on high ♪

1698
01:50:46,902 --> 01:50:50,215
♪ In heaven,
the bells are ringing ♪

1699
01:51:09,712 --> 01:51:17,712
♪ Glo-o-o-oria ♪

1700
01:51:17,801 --> 01:51:19,946
♪ Hosanna ♪

1701
01:51:19,970 --> 01:51:27,910
♪ In excelsis. ♪