1 00:01:11,137 --> 00:01:14,740 That was my husband's Ford galaxy. 2 00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:17,943 We drove Jamie home from the hospital in that car. 3 00:01:19,446 --> 00:01:22,281 My mom was 40 when she had me. 4 00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:25,751 Everyone told her she was too old to be a mother. 5 00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:27,686 I put my hand through the little window, 6 00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,154 and he'd squeeze my finger, 7 00:01:29,156 --> 00:01:34,326 and I'd tell him life was very big... 8 00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:36,528 ...and unknown. 9 00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:38,664 And she told me that there were animals 10 00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:41,266 and sky and cities... 11 00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:44,169 ...music, movies. 12 00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:45,804 He'd fall in love, 13 00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:49,842 have his own children, have passions, have meaning, 14 00:01:49,844 --> 00:01:52,177 have his mom and dad. 15 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,013 When they got divorced, 16 00:01:55,015 --> 00:01:58,617 my father moved back east and left the car with us. 17 00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:01,753 He calls on birthdays and Christmas. 18 00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:06,658 Last time I felt close to him was on my birthday in 1974. 19 00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:08,861 He bought me mirrored sunglasses. 20 00:02:10,263 --> 00:02:13,932 I saw the president fall down the stairs... 21 00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:16,168 ...and I threw up on the carpet. 22 00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:21,573 Since then it's just been us. 23 00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:23,041 I don't understand. What about you? 24 00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:25,277 I'm staying here with him 'til the plane gets safely away. 25 00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:26,945 No, Richard, no. What has happened to you? 26 00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:29,915 Last night we-- - last night we said a great many things. 27 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:37,489 Listen, captain, i am having a party tonight, 28 00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:38,957 it's my birthday actually, 29 00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:42,060 and I would like you to drop by so I can feed you. 30 00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:43,762 It's not necessary, Mrs. fields. 31 00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:46,365 No, dorothea. No, i-i insist. 32 00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:47,766 Please? 33 00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:50,502 That way i-i can thank you. 34 00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,371 That was a beautiful car. 35 00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:56,375 Mom, it... 36 00:02:56,377 --> 00:03:00,179 ...smelled like gas and overheated all the time... 37 00:03:00,181 --> 00:03:02,247 ...and it was just old. 38 00:03:03,483 --> 00:03:04,783 What? 39 00:03:08,221 --> 00:03:09,688 Well it wasn't always old. 40 00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:12,024 It just got that way all of a sudden. 41 00:03:12,026 --> 00:03:13,992 You know... 42 00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:15,561 ...when the firemen come... 43 00:03:16,729 --> 00:03:19,464 ...people don't usually invite them over for dinner. 44 00:03:21,634 --> 00:03:23,101 Yeah? Why not? 45 00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,651 Why can't she just move on and be happy with me 46 00:03:39,653 --> 00:03:42,955 rather than... Lingering on him? 47 00:03:42,957 --> 00:03:45,924 My mom just makes me feel like I'm not good enough. 48 00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:48,827 It's just, I'm constantly being compared to my dad. 49 00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:48,287 Oh, hey, sorry. 50 00:04:49,722 --> 00:04:52,057 Uh, Jamie's not here right now. 51 00:05:10,678 --> 00:05:12,344 They're not home. 52 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,213 Don't. 53 00:05:16,849 --> 00:05:21,486 I'm taking a picture of everything that happens to me in a day. 54 00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:24,389 I don't like having my pictures taken. 55 00:05:24,391 --> 00:05:26,224 I didn't happen to you. 56 00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:35,801 Hello? 57 00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:38,070 - Hey. - Hi. 58 00:05:38,072 --> 00:05:39,738 Hi. Here. 59 00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:44,242 You okay? - You aren't gonna believe what happened. 60 00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:45,744 What? 61 00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:48,180 Our car burst into flames in the parking lot. 62 00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:50,082 - It wh-- - seriously? 63 00:05:50,084 --> 00:05:51,416 - Are you okay? - Yeah. 64 00:05:51,418 --> 00:05:52,684 You know, we're okay. 65 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:53,585 How did it happen? 66 00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:54,786 Well I don't know. 67 00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:57,222 They-they said it was probably just something electrical. 68 00:05:57,224 --> 00:06:01,059 We walked out and it was just sitting there on fire. 69 00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:02,361 Oh, man. 70 00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:05,163 - Yeah. - I'm sorry. 71 00:06:07,333 --> 00:06:09,835 So... what happened? 72 00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:13,772 They never tell you anything, i-- they won't-- 73 00:06:13,774 --> 00:06:15,741 I won't know anything for like a week. 74 00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:17,576 Oh. 75 00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:23,382 And I'm-I'm gonna be late on rent. 76 00:06:23,384 --> 00:06:25,917 That's okay. Don't worry about that. 77 00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:27,152 Thanks. 78 00:06:35,928 --> 00:06:37,929 Oh, god. 79 00:06:41,368 --> 00:06:43,502 What if you had been in the car? 80 00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:46,438 I wouldn't be here. 81 00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:49,107 You would've missed me? 82 00:06:53,312 --> 00:06:54,946 Don't joke. 83 00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:11,396 It was so much easier before you got all horny. 84 00:07:15,968 --> 00:07:18,470 It-it's not like you don't... 85 00:07:19,238 --> 00:07:20,639 Do it? 86 00:07:25,144 --> 00:07:28,547 Friends can't have sex and still be friends. 87 00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:33,185 I like us like we are, okay? 88 00:07:37,757 --> 00:07:39,257 Okay. 89 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:41,960 Jamie! 90 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:44,229 Could you come help me set up, please? 91 00:07:45,331 --> 00:07:47,098 Can my mom just chill out? 92 00:07:48,034 --> 00:07:50,669 She's compensating for her loneliness. 93 00:07:53,105 --> 00:07:55,640 Dorothea, all that is really beautiful molding there. 94 00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,375 - It is. - I want to continue that around the side. 95 00:07:57,377 --> 00:07:59,311 Right so we're gonna have to re-match that. 96 00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:01,646 Now is that- is that actually wood... 97 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:02,881 - That is wood. - ...Or is that plaster? 98 00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:04,349 No, the plaster is underneath it. 99 00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:06,852 The molding on the outside there is wood. So... - Okay. 100 00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:08,687 It's gonna take a little bit of time, but... 101 00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:10,522 Well, we've got... 102 00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:11,623 Okay, no, it's good. 103 00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:14,793 Actually, it was, it was built in 1905, 104 00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:16,461 and the same family had it forever, 105 00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:18,730 but they lost all their money during the war, 106 00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:20,732 and then there was a fire and-- 107 00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:22,200 you should've been here for that. 108 00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:25,704 Anyway, so, it was just a mess. They let it fall apart. 109 00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:28,206 Then a bohemian inherited it in the '60s, 110 00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:31,176 then a bunch of free spirits moved in, and they lost it to the bank. 111 00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:32,544 It's beautiful. 112 00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:34,379 Oh, i-i completely fell in love with it. 113 00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:36,815 We're connected to the dirt 'cause we came from the dirt. 114 00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:39,384 The dirt is made of stars and stardust 115 00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:40,585 in the same way we are, 116 00:08:40,587 --> 00:08:45,657 so when you put your hands into that dirt 117 00:08:45,659 --> 00:08:48,193 and feel the earth mother... 118 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:52,998 - Uh, William? - Mm-hmm? 119 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,700 It looks as though I'm gonna be in need of a car. 120 00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:58,737 Do you think you have something for me out there, cheap? 121 00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:01,172 Maybe that '49 deluxe? 122 00:09:02,241 --> 00:09:03,708 I think we can work something out. 123 00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:06,311 Maybe we'll trade for rent or something. 124 00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:08,580 - Thank you. - Sure. 125 00:09:10,082 --> 00:09:12,984 Okay. Got through that one. 126 00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:14,786 All right. Just, um... 127 00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:17,289 ...give me a minute and then come out. 128 00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:50,255 My mom was born in 1924. 129 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:53,325 When she was my age people drove in sad cars 130 00:09:53,327 --> 00:09:56,061 to sad houses with old phones, 131 00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:59,564 no money, or food, or televisions... 132 00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:01,700 ...but the people were real. 133 00:10:02,468 --> 00:10:04,169 When she was 16, 134 00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:07,138 the war broke out and she had to leave school. 135 00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:10,475 Her dream was to be a pilot in the air force. 136 00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:12,777 She actually went to flight school. 137 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,313 But the war ended before she was done. 138 00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:17,983 She became the first woman to work 139 00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:21,953 in the continental can company drafting room. 140 00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,989 Then she met my dad... 141 00:10:24,523 --> 00:10:25,991 ...and then I came. 142 00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:28,827 Then they got divorced. 143 00:10:29,795 --> 00:10:31,997 But people from her time 144 00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:34,699 never admit anything went wrong. 145 00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:36,568 - What do you mean? - I'm sorry. 146 00:10:36,570 --> 00:10:39,037 He's too young to have an account in his name only, 147 00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:40,305 little guy. 148 00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,073 No. He-he's a person. 149 00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:45,510 He's not half a person, and he's not some cute little guy. 150 00:10:45,512 --> 00:10:48,813 He has volition and autonomy and privacy. 151 00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:50,682 He needs a bank account. 152 00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:52,083 Can you do that for us? 153 00:10:53,085 --> 00:10:55,487 Now, Jamie, you can't just keep skipping school 154 00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:56,788 and making excuses. 155 00:10:56,790 --> 00:11:00,191 Well wait a minute, why not? Why can't he just skip school 156 00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:03,995 if he-if he has a legitimate need to be away? 157 00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,898 Well, then I need a legitimate real note from you... 158 00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,867 - Okay. - ...With your real signature. 159 00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:13,805 Wow, how did you forge my signature so well? 160 00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:16,675 That is ingenious! 161 00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:19,010 But you should never forge someone's signature 162 00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:22,247 or do anything behind someone's back. 163 00:11:22,249 --> 00:11:24,649 Please excuse Jamie from school this morning. 164 00:11:24,651 --> 00:11:28,353 He was doing volunteer work for the sandinistas. 165 00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:30,355 Please excuse Jamie from school this morning. 166 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,757 He was involved in a small plane accident. 167 00:11:32,759 --> 00:11:35,293 Fortunately he was not hurt. 168 00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:38,563 You're gonna be in for a legendary surprise. 169 00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:40,165 It's mahogany underneath. 170 00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:42,901 She's always trying to bring a man into my life. 171 00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:45,270 This is probably Honduran mahogany. 172 00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:46,604 Really fine, very... 173 00:11:46,606 --> 00:11:48,373 This is, like, really, really boring. 174 00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:51,342 - Hey, watch it. - He's talking about, like, wood and stuff. 175 00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:53,712 He's helping me out. Restore the house, okay? 176 00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:53,712 IBM? 177 00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:56,781 She writes down her stocks every morning. 178 00:11:56,783 --> 00:11:58,917 213.2. 179 00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:00,318 Ge? 180 00:12:01,420 --> 00:12:03,822 Um, 51.62. 181 00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:05,924 She smokes salems because they're healthier, 182 00:12:05,926 --> 00:12:09,394 wears birkenstocks because she's contemporary. 183 00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:10,762 She read watership down 184 00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:13,431 and learned how to carve rabbits out of wood. 185 00:12:14,867 --> 00:12:19,003 And she never dates a man for very long. 186 00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:20,605 Thank you, bye bye. 187 00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:22,707 Good night, dorothea. 188 00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:24,776 - Good night. - Bye. 189 00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:26,845 So, I'll see ya later. 190 00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:28,580 Just don't hang out with that Chris guy anymore, okay? 191 00:12:28,582 --> 00:12:30,882 - Good night. - He's a skeez and he's kinda dumb. 192 00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:32,684 - Exactly. - Good night, dorothea. 193 00:12:33,719 --> 00:12:35,854 - Happy birthday. - Bye, Julie. 194 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,024 Stop. 195 00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:41,459 What? 196 00:12:43,562 --> 00:12:45,897 Thinking that you know everything that's going on. 197 00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:48,333 No, I don-- i just think that, you know, 198 00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:53,004 having your heart broken is a tremendous way to learn about the world. 199 00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:58,076 Okay. 200 00:13:01,647 --> 00:13:03,414 Do you think you're happy? 201 00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:05,784 Like... 202 00:13:07,019 --> 00:13:10,622 ...as happy as you thought you'd be when you were my age? 203 00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:12,023 Seriously? 204 00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:15,226 You don't ask people questions like that. 205 00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:16,795 You're my mom. 206 00:13:19,431 --> 00:13:21,032 Especially your mom. 207 00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:22,534 Look, wondering if you're happy 208 00:13:22,536 --> 00:13:25,036 is a great shortcut to just being depressed. 209 00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:26,204 Give me that. 210 00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:09,781 What is that? 211 00:14:10,816 --> 00:14:12,951 It's the raincoats. 212 00:14:19,158 --> 00:14:21,860 Can't things... just be pretty? 213 00:14:23,329 --> 00:14:28,066 "Pretty" music is used to hide how unfair and corrupt society is. 214 00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:29,634 Ah. 215 00:14:32,004 --> 00:14:33,805 Okay, so, 216 00:14:33,807 --> 00:14:37,275 they're not very good, and they know that, right? 217 00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:38,843 Yeah, it's... 218 00:14:39,845 --> 00:14:42,347 It's like they got all this, this feeling, 219 00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:44,716 and they don't have any skill, and they don't want skill, 220 00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:46,384 because it's really interesting 221 00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:51,155 what happens when your passion is bigger than the tools 222 00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:53,024 you have to deal with it. 223 00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:58,129 It creates this energy that's-that's-that's raw. 224 00:14:58,131 --> 00:14:59,964 Isn't it great? 225 00:15:17,149 --> 00:15:20,952 My son was born in 1964. 226 00:15:24,123 --> 00:15:27,358 He grew up with a meaningless war... 227 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:31,195 ...with protests, with Nixon... 228 00:15:32,231 --> 00:15:35,166 ...with nice cars and nice houses... 229 00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:39,971 ...computers, drugs, boredom. 230 00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:47,145 I know him less every day. 231 00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:54,819 He said it was just a game. 232 00:15:55,721 --> 00:15:57,655 You breathe real hard and another kid 233 00:15:57,657 --> 00:16:01,192 pulls on your diaphragm and you faint. 234 00:16:05,931 --> 00:16:09,701 He said you're supposed to come to a few seconds later... 235 00:16:09,703 --> 00:16:10,935 Hey, can I try? 236 00:16:10,937 --> 00:16:15,473 But it took Jamie almost a half an hour to wake up. 237 00:16:29,288 --> 00:16:31,122 Going to get help! 238 00:16:48,107 --> 00:16:50,108 You all right? He's fine. 239 00:16:55,614 --> 00:16:57,048 Can you tell me your name? 240 00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:00,084 Jamie fields. 241 00:17:18,604 --> 00:17:20,705 You got lucky this time. 242 00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:23,775 Lack of oxygen to the brain can cause brain damage, 243 00:17:23,777 --> 00:17:25,777 comas... even death. 244 00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:35,753 Jamie, why would you do something so dangerous? 245 00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:41,225 I don't know. Um... 246 00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,161 I mean, everyone was doing it. 247 00:17:44,596 --> 00:17:46,864 So you just went along with it? 248 00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:49,267 - It looked like fun. - That's just dumb. 249 00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:51,469 Why would you do something so stupid? 250 00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:53,204 Just following along? 251 00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:55,840 You-you know you almost died, right? 252 00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:59,610 - You don't need to worry about me. - Why didn't you think? 253 00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:01,479 Jamie! Hey! 254 00:18:03,782 --> 00:18:04,916 Jamie... 255 00:18:05,717 --> 00:18:09,387 What-what is going on? What, why-- 256 00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:11,823 what? You're not gonna talk to me now? 257 00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:16,294 I'm not the one who doesn't talk. 258 00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:18,830 What? Come on. 259 00:18:18,832 --> 00:18:21,232 You scared the hell out of me! 260 00:18:22,134 --> 00:18:24,435 Why-why did you hurt yourself like that? 261 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:26,304 Why do you smoke yourself to death? 262 00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:27,572 Hey! 263 00:18:28,507 --> 00:18:31,909 Why are you fine being sad and alone? 264 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,613 I, uh... 265 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:39,817 I... you... you c-- 266 00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:41,586 you can't talk to me like that. We don't-- 267 00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:43,688 you don't say that to me. 268 00:19:40,113 --> 00:19:42,880 I think history has been tough on men. 269 00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:44,949 I mean, they can't be what they were, 270 00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:47,084 and they can't figure out what's next. 271 00:19:47,086 --> 00:19:48,553 What are we talking about? 272 00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:50,154 Men? 273 00:19:50,156 --> 00:19:51,956 I think history and men? 274 00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:54,592 I mean who are your heroes nowadays? 275 00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:56,460 A bunch of privileged drug addicts? 276 00:19:56,462 --> 00:19:59,430 I think maybe you guys can help me with Jamie. 277 00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:02,867 I think... He needs help... 278 00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:05,403 ...in figuring out how to be himself 279 00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:06,604 in all this mess. 280 00:20:06,606 --> 00:20:08,973 And I can't be there. 281 00:20:08,975 --> 00:20:12,143 I can't be there with him. I have to let go. 282 00:20:12,145 --> 00:20:14,579 Is this because of the fainting thing? 283 00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:16,581 He's fine. - No. 284 00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:18,249 It's because of everything. 285 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:23,387 I don't understand what-- what are you asking? 286 00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:26,290 Well, how do you be a good man? 287 00:20:26,292 --> 00:20:29,126 What does that even mean nowadays? 288 00:20:29,128 --> 00:20:31,696 He's-he's only got me. It's just-- 289 00:20:31,698 --> 00:20:33,764 think about it. It's not enough. 290 00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:35,633 - You're serious? - Yeah. 291 00:20:35,635 --> 00:20:38,469 What about William? William's a guy. That's-- 292 00:20:38,471 --> 00:20:41,105 he can talk to him about guy things. 293 00:20:41,107 --> 00:20:43,074 Have you ever seen them have a conversation? 294 00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:45,376 They have nothing in common. They don't connect. 295 00:20:45,378 --> 00:20:47,778 This is not working. I mean, I thought about that. 296 00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:50,014 He... 297 00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:53,618 Well, he likes you and you. He likes you a lot. 298 00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:57,255 That-that's... - He's my friend. I don't want to be his mom. 299 00:20:57,257 --> 00:20:59,190 Yeah, no. I'm his mom. 300 00:20:59,192 --> 00:21:03,027 I mean don't you need a man to raise a man? 301 00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:06,330 No. I don't think so. 302 00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:08,499 I mean, 303 00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:11,469 I think you're what's gonna work for him. 304 00:21:14,906 --> 00:21:18,943 I mean you know him better than anyone. 305 00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:23,414 You know that, and... You care about him. 306 00:21:23,416 --> 00:21:25,349 You can watch out for him. 307 00:21:25,351 --> 00:21:30,254 And you just share your life. You're a talented person. 308 00:21:30,256 --> 00:21:31,622 Show him what you're interested in. 309 00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,791 You know, he would be lucky to have that. 310 00:21:51,877 --> 00:21:53,477 Help me with what? 311 00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:56,180 Oh, go through this part of your life. 312 00:21:56,182 --> 00:21:59,684 It's not easy. It's not easy for anybody. 313 00:21:59,686 --> 00:22:02,019 - You asked them to help me? - Yeah. 314 00:22:02,021 --> 00:22:04,388 No, they-they get it. 315 00:22:06,024 --> 00:22:07,491 So they said yes? 316 00:22:07,493 --> 00:22:08,826 Yeah. 317 00:22:09,294 --> 00:22:10,661 - Fuck. - Hey! 318 00:22:11,697 --> 00:22:14,565 You just feel guilty 'cause it's just me and you. 319 00:22:17,502 --> 00:22:20,037 You don't know what I'm feeling. 320 00:22:20,039 --> 00:22:21,339 Just tell me. 321 00:22:22,140 --> 00:22:23,274 Kid... 322 00:22:24,142 --> 00:22:26,177 You never tell me what you're gonna do. 323 00:22:26,179 --> 00:22:27,611 You just do it. 324 00:22:43,061 --> 00:22:45,162 I got the keys to my stepmom's car. 325 00:22:45,164 --> 00:22:46,464 I'm going to the starwood. 326 00:22:46,466 --> 00:22:47,465 Ow! 327 00:22:47,467 --> 00:22:50,935 Tanya and Michelle are both gonna be there. 328 00:22:50,937 --> 00:22:53,404 Hey, you guys going to la? 329 00:22:53,406 --> 00:22:55,339 Yeah, I am. 330 00:22:56,942 --> 00:22:58,309 Can I come? 331 00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:01,912 ...kissed a girl? Are you ready? 332 00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:05,916 Are you gonna-are you gonna get with some chick there? 333 00:23:29,442 --> 00:23:31,275 That was Jamie. 334 00:23:31,277 --> 00:23:34,111 He is in, uh, la. 335 00:23:34,113 --> 00:23:36,547 He and some friends went to a show. 336 00:23:38,216 --> 00:23:39,483 - Oh. - Yeah. 337 00:23:39,485 --> 00:23:41,285 He wanted me to tell you. 338 00:23:42,487 --> 00:23:43,888 Okay. 339 00:23:52,164 --> 00:23:53,964 Aren't you worried or-- 340 00:23:57,135 --> 00:24:01,038 he's mad at me and this is his way of dealing with it... 341 00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:03,107 ...and he has every right to be mad. 342 00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:07,011 Yeah, but if it makes him this mad, 343 00:24:07,013 --> 00:24:09,547 then maybe it wasn't a good idea. 344 00:24:46,251 --> 00:24:47,918 Maybe... 345 00:24:48,653 --> 00:24:50,521 Maybe I did the wrong thing. 346 00:24:51,823 --> 00:24:53,457 Oh, i-- 347 00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:56,093 - with the kid, I mean. - Yeah, I know. 348 00:24:56,095 --> 00:24:59,096 I think that Jamie's energy is very... 349 00:25:01,700 --> 00:25:03,267 ...unstable. 350 00:25:05,370 --> 00:25:07,071 Yeah. Well, you're right. 351 00:25:07,073 --> 00:25:08,806 Then, though, there's an energy crisis. 352 00:25:08,808 --> 00:25:12,843 Maybe that plays into it in some way. 353 00:25:15,748 --> 00:25:17,314 I'm sorry. 354 00:25:18,984 --> 00:25:21,785 You don't have very many funny lines, do you? 355 00:25:25,190 --> 00:25:26,657 Okay. 356 00:25:54,486 --> 00:25:55,819 Jamie? 357 00:26:04,496 --> 00:26:05,963 Jamie? 358 00:26:29,422 --> 00:26:30,721 Hey. 359 00:26:31,256 --> 00:26:32,523 Hey. 360 00:26:33,425 --> 00:26:34,625 Everything okay? 361 00:26:34,627 --> 00:26:36,260 Yeah. 362 00:26:36,262 --> 00:26:37,661 Can I come in? 363 00:26:38,830 --> 00:26:40,064 Sure. 364 00:26:43,835 --> 00:26:46,737 So I had this new idea for-for my photography 365 00:26:46,739 --> 00:26:51,342 that I was gonna take a picture of everything that I owned 366 00:26:51,344 --> 00:26:53,844 so it would be a self-portrait of myself 367 00:26:53,846 --> 00:26:56,747 through the stuff that I have. 368 00:27:00,418 --> 00:27:02,086 Can I show you? 369 00:27:02,088 --> 00:27:06,457 That's a bra, birth control, 370 00:27:06,459 --> 00:27:08,959 um, photography by Susan sontag, 371 00:27:08,961 --> 00:27:12,129 shoes, underwear, 372 00:27:12,131 --> 00:27:14,832 a picture of a picture of my mom. 373 00:27:14,834 --> 00:27:17,034 I'm gonna do a bunch of 'em. 374 00:27:18,670 --> 00:27:21,905 It's a little bit-- it's a little bit sad. 375 00:27:25,944 --> 00:27:27,745 You know, all this stuff together. 376 00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:30,614 I don't know why that is. 377 00:27:31,950 --> 00:27:33,817 Not-- I mean... 378 00:27:33,819 --> 00:27:35,185 Do you know what I mean? 379 00:27:36,287 --> 00:27:38,188 It's really beautiful, Abbie. 380 00:27:39,024 --> 00:27:42,593 Do you want to fool around... With me? 381 00:27:44,929 --> 00:27:46,263 Really? 382 00:27:47,799 --> 00:27:49,066 Yeah. 383 00:27:52,170 --> 00:27:53,570 Yeah. 384 00:27:55,106 --> 00:27:56,507 I do. 385 00:28:00,311 --> 00:28:03,814 You know, I'm recovering from cervical cancer. 386 00:28:07,252 --> 00:28:08,719 I know. 387 00:28:25,336 --> 00:28:27,337 Your hair smells good. 388 00:28:31,376 --> 00:28:33,077 I make my own shampoo. 389 00:28:34,212 --> 00:28:35,846 Of course you do. 390 00:29:03,975 --> 00:29:05,442 Oh. 391 00:29:05,444 --> 00:29:07,945 It's okay, jeeves, he's back. 392 00:29:07,947 --> 00:29:09,980 You can relax now. 393 00:29:22,827 --> 00:29:24,294 Where were you? 394 00:29:25,396 --> 00:29:27,297 I went to the starwood. 395 00:29:27,299 --> 00:29:29,700 Saw a show in la. 396 00:29:29,702 --> 00:29:31,301 Had a lot of fun. 397 00:29:32,971 --> 00:29:34,471 Are you drunk? 398 00:29:42,747 --> 00:29:44,047 Don't. 399 00:29:48,186 --> 00:29:49,486 What's wrong? 400 00:29:52,323 --> 00:29:54,391 Tim trammer came inside me. 401 00:29:58,596 --> 00:30:00,764 I don't want to hear this shit. 402 00:30:02,534 --> 00:30:05,769 We broke into that old pool at the rec center. 403 00:30:05,771 --> 00:30:07,437 Got loaded. 404 00:30:08,406 --> 00:30:10,073 Fucked around. 405 00:30:12,076 --> 00:30:14,912 And me and Tim ended up in his mom's Maverick. 406 00:30:21,786 --> 00:30:24,021 Did you just cum? 407 00:30:24,023 --> 00:30:25,556 Yeah. 408 00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:29,426 You said you'd pull out. 409 00:30:32,297 --> 00:30:33,764 Yeah. 410 00:30:34,232 --> 00:30:35,766 Sorry. 411 00:30:37,702 --> 00:30:39,870 I thought we had a deal there. 412 00:30:42,373 --> 00:30:43,707 Fuck. 413 00:30:46,878 --> 00:30:48,545 What are you gonna do? 414 00:30:52,350 --> 00:30:54,151 It'll be fine. 415 00:31:10,702 --> 00:31:13,637 Your mom asked me to, like, help raise you. 416 00:31:17,208 --> 00:31:19,243 Yeah, I know. 417 00:31:21,613 --> 00:31:24,281 She was raised in the depression. 418 00:31:24,283 --> 00:31:26,216 Everyone helped raise everyone. 419 00:31:26,218 --> 00:31:29,953 You know, the whole neighborhood raised the kids. 420 00:31:29,955 --> 00:31:31,455 Sorry. 421 00:31:34,659 --> 00:31:36,793 Can we do therapy? 422 00:31:36,795 --> 00:31:39,296 Jesus, I don't want to do therapy right now. 423 00:31:39,298 --> 00:31:40,797 - Let's just role play. - Please, no. 424 00:31:40,799 --> 00:31:41,965 I'll be your mom, 425 00:31:41,967 --> 00:31:44,401 and you can tell her what you want to tell her. 426 00:31:44,403 --> 00:31:45,669 Just do it. 427 00:31:47,372 --> 00:31:49,873 - I don't want to talk to my mom right now. - What would you say to her? 428 00:31:53,044 --> 00:31:54,645 Okay. 429 00:31:58,983 --> 00:32:02,319 I don't need your help, mom. 430 00:32:02,321 --> 00:32:04,054 I've got it. 431 00:32:04,555 --> 00:32:06,056 I'm okay. 432 00:32:09,861 --> 00:32:13,196 Um, I'm gonna need a story. 433 00:32:13,198 --> 00:32:14,598 What? 434 00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:16,199 A story. 435 00:32:16,201 --> 00:32:19,002 - What do you mean? - Like a... a story. 436 00:32:19,004 --> 00:32:25,275 Um... where... I'm... 437 00:32:25,277 --> 00:32:28,111 I'm just a normal woman, 438 00:32:28,113 --> 00:32:30,948 and you're a photographer, 439 00:32:30,950 --> 00:32:32,683 and so you're photographing me, 440 00:32:32,685 --> 00:32:35,152 but while you're doing it... 441 00:32:36,688 --> 00:32:41,625 ...you can't help yourself, and you start touching me. 442 00:32:41,627 --> 00:32:45,028 And you touch me... 443 00:32:45,830 --> 00:32:48,966 ...and you say... 444 00:32:48,968 --> 00:32:52,569 "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." 445 00:32:54,806 --> 00:32:56,206 Really? 446 00:32:57,508 --> 00:32:59,576 I can't just be myself? 447 00:33:03,348 --> 00:33:04,748 No. 448 00:33:06,384 --> 00:33:07,951 Okay, so-- do I just, uh... - Okay. 449 00:33:07,953 --> 00:33:10,153 Hey, nice to meet you. - Oh, hi. 450 00:33:10,155 --> 00:33:13,991 Do I just look in the camera, or should I look... Off to the side? 451 00:33:13,993 --> 00:33:16,093 Let's start that way, looking at the camera. 452 00:33:16,095 --> 00:33:18,028 Okay. Should I smile? 453 00:33:18,030 --> 00:33:19,896 - Do you like to smile? - Yeah. 454 00:33:19,898 --> 00:33:21,865 - Okay. - Okay. 455 00:33:22,667 --> 00:33:24,167 Uh, oh, you took it. 456 00:33:24,169 --> 00:33:26,003 I thought you were gonna say like, "one, two, three..." 457 00:33:26,005 --> 00:33:27,237 - No. - Okay. 458 00:33:27,239 --> 00:33:29,072 - I just wait for the moment. - Okay. 459 00:33:29,074 --> 00:33:31,341 - I just have to fix something. - Okay. 460 00:33:31,343 --> 00:33:33,377 - Just right here. - Um, oh. 461 00:33:33,379 --> 00:33:35,379 - I'm sorry. - Oh, god. No, it's all right. 462 00:33:35,381 --> 00:33:37,180 I don't mind. I'm just-- 463 00:33:37,182 --> 00:33:38,815 never done this before. 464 00:33:38,817 --> 00:33:42,552 I, um, so I'm just a little bit nervous, 465 00:33:42,554 --> 00:33:44,388 but, um, i can, um, 466 00:33:44,390 --> 00:33:47,090 wear my hair differently if you want. - Abbie... 467 00:33:48,659 --> 00:33:49,960 Yeah? 468 00:33:52,363 --> 00:33:53,930 I'm sorry. 469 00:33:58,903 --> 00:34:00,804 I'm really sorry. 470 00:34:18,524 --> 00:34:21,992 Julie and I have been friends since we were little. 471 00:34:25,864 --> 00:34:28,532 She likes to say she's self-destructive. 472 00:34:30,334 --> 00:34:31,968 Her mother is a therapist. 473 00:34:31,970 --> 00:34:34,237 We used to talk and I... 474 00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:38,041 ...had a better sense of what was going on with you. I worry that... 475 00:34:38,043 --> 00:34:40,744 She makes Julie attend her teen group sessions. 476 00:34:40,746 --> 00:34:43,747 How about the possibility... 477 00:34:43,749 --> 00:34:46,850 ...that you're choosing boys who are inappropriate... 478 00:34:46,852 --> 00:34:48,118 ...unconsciously? 479 00:34:49,454 --> 00:34:51,521 When her mother remarried, Julie changed. 480 00:34:51,523 --> 00:34:53,156 I love this shirt! Don't get... 481 00:34:53,158 --> 00:34:54,491 When her half-sister Amanda 482 00:34:54,493 --> 00:34:57,861 was born with cerebral palsy, she changed more. 483 00:35:00,064 --> 00:35:01,965 Wow, it looks really pretty on you. 484 00:35:01,967 --> 00:35:05,669 Brings-- just-just makes your whole face pop. 485 00:35:05,671 --> 00:35:07,504 Like soda. Like pop. 486 00:35:17,181 --> 00:35:19,382 She started fooling around. 487 00:35:21,185 --> 00:35:23,386 She started sneaking into my house. 488 00:35:24,455 --> 00:35:25,922 Sleeping over. 489 00:35:27,458 --> 00:35:29,192 Why'd you do it? 490 00:35:29,194 --> 00:35:30,861 'Cause I'm crazy. 491 00:35:33,431 --> 00:35:35,332 You wish you were crazy. 492 00:35:39,337 --> 00:35:40,837 Scratch me. 493 00:35:44,275 --> 00:35:46,743 We should go up the coast somewhere. 494 00:35:48,012 --> 00:35:49,846 Just me and you. 495 00:35:52,184 --> 00:35:54,885 Julie works at the le cumbre Plaza mall. 496 00:35:54,887 --> 00:35:57,621 Spring rain features cinnamon, Jasmine, 497 00:35:57,623 --> 00:35:59,956 Lily of the valley and rose. 498 00:36:01,392 --> 00:36:02,993 "Sex is a commitment. 499 00:36:02,995 --> 00:36:05,562 Once you're there, you can't go back to holding hands, 500 00:36:05,564 --> 00:36:08,598 and when you give yourself, both mentally and physically, 501 00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:10,367 well, you're completely vulnerable." 502 00:36:10,369 --> 00:36:11,902 All he cares about is his new wife, 503 00:36:11,904 --> 00:36:13,503 and her birthday, 504 00:36:13,505 --> 00:36:16,540 and Christmas with her and her family, 505 00:36:16,542 --> 00:36:18,875 and inviting all of her family to our-- 506 00:36:18,877 --> 00:36:21,711 spring rain features cinnamon, Jasmine, 507 00:36:21,713 --> 00:36:24,548 Lily of the valley and rose. 508 00:36:25,816 --> 00:36:28,285 "Of all the misconceptions about love, 509 00:36:28,287 --> 00:36:30,253 the most powerful and persuasive 510 00:36:30,255 --> 00:36:34,024 is the belief that falling in love is love, 511 00:36:34,026 --> 00:36:37,994 or at least one of the manifestations of love." 512 00:36:37,996 --> 00:36:40,864 Love is supposed to be a feeling that you feel. 513 00:36:40,866 --> 00:36:42,666 People say that they're falling in love, 514 00:36:42,668 --> 00:36:44,801 but they're not actually falling in love. 515 00:36:45,970 --> 00:36:49,306 It's a fake connection that you feel with someone... 516 00:36:49,308 --> 00:36:51,508 ...and marriage should never happen. 517 00:36:51,510 --> 00:36:54,945 You should have died. It should have been you! 518 00:36:56,314 --> 00:36:57,747 Die! 519 00:37:40,324 --> 00:37:42,225 Hey, Julie. 520 00:37:42,227 --> 00:37:44,661 - Hey. - Hi. 521 00:37:44,663 --> 00:37:48,064 So come on in. It's okay. Come in. 522 00:37:48,066 --> 00:37:51,101 He's not up yet. He, uh... - Yeah. 523 00:37:51,103 --> 00:37:53,370 Yeah, he got in kinda late. 524 00:37:53,372 --> 00:37:55,205 Okay, you wanna help me bring this stuff in? 525 00:38:01,078 --> 00:38:03,680 So is, uh, Jamie okay? 526 00:38:03,682 --> 00:38:06,082 Yeah, he's okay. 527 00:38:07,151 --> 00:38:09,552 Yeah, i-i heard him come in last night. 528 00:38:09,554 --> 00:38:12,255 - Oh. - I was-i was awake. 529 00:38:12,257 --> 00:38:13,456 Right. 530 00:38:13,458 --> 00:38:16,726 Yeah, I was just-- couldn't sleep, so I was... 531 00:38:18,462 --> 00:38:20,664 ...you know, listening for him. 532 00:38:34,845 --> 00:38:36,413 How was the show? 533 00:38:37,348 --> 00:38:38,648 It was good. 534 00:38:39,684 --> 00:38:42,752 Next time you take a trip just let me know, okay? 535 00:38:42,754 --> 00:38:45,121 I won't make too much dinner. 536 00:38:54,298 --> 00:38:56,366 Hey, do the stocks with me? 537 00:38:59,537 --> 00:39:00,770 Here. 538 00:39:06,010 --> 00:39:07,777 Okay. IBM? 539 00:39:09,847 --> 00:39:12,816 IBM, 69.73. 540 00:39:13,384 --> 00:39:15,051 Xerox? 541 00:39:15,053 --> 00:39:16,453 You okay? 542 00:39:18,889 --> 00:39:21,424 Xerox, 53.92. 543 00:39:21,426 --> 00:39:23,059 - Stop. - Okay. 544 00:39:23,061 --> 00:39:25,528 53.92. 545 00:39:26,097 --> 00:39:27,263 Listen. 546 00:39:27,265 --> 00:39:29,432 Abbie has her appointment today and I can't be here. 547 00:39:29,434 --> 00:39:30,567 I have to go to work, 548 00:39:30,569 --> 00:39:33,103 so I was hoping that maybe you could be here 549 00:39:33,105 --> 00:39:36,639 when she gets back in case she needs some support. 550 00:39:36,641 --> 00:39:38,341 She's going through a lot. 551 00:39:39,410 --> 00:39:41,911 Okay, well, like, what if it's, 552 00:39:41,913 --> 00:39:44,280 like, bad news or something? 553 00:39:44,282 --> 00:39:45,949 Well, you can handle it. 554 00:39:45,951 --> 00:39:49,319 Or if you can't, you have to start somewhere. 555 00:39:51,088 --> 00:39:53,623 Men always feel like they have to fix things 556 00:39:53,625 --> 00:39:55,625 for women or they're not doing anything, 557 00:39:55,627 --> 00:39:58,828 but some things just can't be fixed. 558 00:39:58,830 --> 00:40:00,130 Just be there. 559 00:40:00,998 --> 00:40:03,433 Somehow that's hard for all of you. 560 00:40:05,136 --> 00:40:09,806 Mom, I'm not "all men." Okay? I'm just me. 561 00:40:09,808 --> 00:40:12,175 Well, yes and no. 562 00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:18,348 What if I have to have full-on chemo... 563 00:40:19,417 --> 00:40:21,384 ...or get a hysterectomy? 564 00:40:22,353 --> 00:40:24,120 Do you know what that is? 565 00:40:26,223 --> 00:40:28,792 Look, I should just go with you, you know? I mean... 566 00:40:34,899 --> 00:40:38,001 Your mom did tell me to share my life with you. 567 00:40:39,370 --> 00:40:41,037 Yeah, I know. 568 00:40:42,072 --> 00:40:44,407 You don't-- 569 00:40:44,409 --> 00:40:45,975 don't worry about her. She's- 570 00:40:45,977 --> 00:40:47,710 she's from the depression. 571 00:40:51,182 --> 00:40:52,515 Yeah. 572 00:40:57,521 --> 00:40:59,823 It's good news, Abbie. 573 00:41:01,525 --> 00:41:03,827 There were no malignant cells. 574 00:41:03,829 --> 00:41:05,595 Your biopsy's benign. 575 00:41:09,467 --> 00:41:12,469 And in the future? 576 00:41:13,804 --> 00:41:15,839 There was damage to the muscle wall, 577 00:41:15,841 --> 00:41:17,106 from the surgery. 578 00:41:19,343 --> 00:41:21,711 You have an incompetent cervix. 579 00:41:30,621 --> 00:41:32,255 Incompetent? 580 00:41:33,591 --> 00:41:37,260 It may not be strong enough to go full term during pregnancy. 581 00:41:37,262 --> 00:41:41,464 As the baby grows, the cervix widens. 582 00:41:41,466 --> 00:41:44,767 If it's weakened, it's likely to open prematurely. 583 00:41:50,207 --> 00:41:51,941 I'm gonna be okay. 584 00:41:56,146 --> 00:41:59,082 He said that I probably can't have kids. 585 00:42:05,723 --> 00:42:07,657 Was having Jamie, like... 586 00:42:08,659 --> 00:42:11,094 ...the biggest thing that ever happened to you? 587 00:42:15,966 --> 00:42:17,600 I guess so. 588 00:42:19,770 --> 00:42:22,005 Sorry. - It's okay. 589 00:42:27,344 --> 00:42:29,445 You'll get through this. 590 00:42:31,382 --> 00:42:33,349 You will get through it. 591 00:42:34,518 --> 00:42:36,286 You will do it. 592 00:42:39,890 --> 00:42:42,325 You'll-- this is the really hard part. 593 00:42:42,327 --> 00:42:43,960 And then what happens is, 594 00:42:43,962 --> 00:42:46,996 there's a hard part and then it gets better. 595 00:42:48,332 --> 00:42:50,600 And then it gets hard again, but never mind. 596 00:42:53,971 --> 00:42:56,472 I shouldn't have told you that part. 597 00:42:56,474 --> 00:43:00,977 I should have just said it gets better and then that's it, but... 598 00:43:00,979 --> 00:43:02,779 You got birds? 599 00:43:02,781 --> 00:43:04,147 Is that okay? 600 00:43:04,149 --> 00:43:05,481 Yeah. 601 00:43:08,219 --> 00:43:10,286 So did you name them? 602 00:43:10,288 --> 00:43:11,988 Not yet. 603 00:43:11,990 --> 00:43:14,123 They're a boy and a girl, and... 604 00:43:14,125 --> 00:43:18,394 ...that they're monogamous for life, so if... 605 00:43:18,396 --> 00:43:21,431 ...one of them dies, then the other one... 606 00:43:21,433 --> 00:43:23,866 ...will die like a week later. 607 00:43:23,868 --> 00:43:25,635 Wow. 608 00:43:27,137 --> 00:43:30,340 Well how 'bout Maximilian and carlotta? 609 00:43:30,342 --> 00:43:32,208 I-i-- 610 00:43:32,210 --> 00:43:33,876 you know, they deserve something grand 611 00:43:33,878 --> 00:43:37,213 if they're gonna be monogamous their whole lives. 612 00:43:37,215 --> 00:43:38,681 Right? 613 00:43:44,222 --> 00:43:45,822 Aw. 614 00:43:48,692 --> 00:43:52,261 Max and carlotta are really good names. 615 00:43:53,998 --> 00:43:57,166 So, um, you- 616 00:43:57,168 --> 00:44:00,336 you went to the doctor's and you waited with her. 617 00:44:01,872 --> 00:44:03,239 Yeah. 618 00:44:04,608 --> 00:44:07,210 But i-i told you to wait here. 619 00:44:07,212 --> 00:44:08,745 I, um, 620 00:44:08,747 --> 00:44:11,681 I thought it'd be better to, uh, go and... 621 00:44:11,683 --> 00:44:13,516 ...really be there. 622 00:44:13,518 --> 00:44:15,051 Wow. 623 00:44:17,321 --> 00:44:19,322 She's really upset. 624 00:44:22,026 --> 00:44:24,494 That must have been a lot to deal with. 625 00:44:24,496 --> 00:44:26,062 I'm fine. 626 00:44:26,463 --> 00:44:27,930 I'm good. 627 00:44:28,966 --> 00:44:31,834 I-i learned a lot. 628 00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:36,939 Abigail Porter? 629 00:44:43,013 --> 00:44:44,514 "Home pregnancy tests 630 00:44:44,516 --> 00:44:47,583 that women can do safely and easily. 631 00:44:47,585 --> 00:44:49,218 A small revolution for women 632 00:44:49,220 --> 00:44:51,888 seeking to take control of their lives." 633 00:45:11,642 --> 00:45:14,143 What the fuck is this? 634 00:45:14,145 --> 00:45:16,846 It's a pregnancy test. 635 00:45:22,252 --> 00:45:23,653 Um, 636 00:45:23,655 --> 00:45:26,222 Abbie's doctor said that, uh, 637 00:45:26,224 --> 00:45:28,691 she wouldn't be able to have kids. 638 00:45:31,061 --> 00:45:33,129 Why'd she take you? 639 00:45:37,534 --> 00:45:39,435 - Is that all of it? - Yeah. 640 00:45:40,804 --> 00:45:42,205 That's a lot. 641 00:45:42,773 --> 00:45:44,974 - Now what? - Um... 642 00:45:45,709 --> 00:45:47,777 "Shake for 10 seconds." 643 00:45:56,553 --> 00:45:58,321 Okay, um... 644 00:46:03,527 --> 00:46:04,560 Um... 645 00:46:04,562 --> 00:46:07,330 "Leave undisturbed for two hours." 646 00:46:09,099 --> 00:46:11,134 Two hours? 647 00:46:12,503 --> 00:46:14,170 That's what it says. 648 00:46:18,108 --> 00:46:21,277 Okay, if it appears, then you're positive, 649 00:46:21,279 --> 00:46:24,680 and if no ring appears here, then the test is negative. 650 00:46:30,120 --> 00:46:32,288 What do we do for two hours? 651 00:46:36,927 --> 00:46:38,561 Guys don't smoke like that. 652 00:46:38,563 --> 00:46:39,862 Don't hold it like that. 653 00:46:39,864 --> 00:46:43,132 Like... this, 654 00:46:43,134 --> 00:46:44,700 between your two fingers. 655 00:46:44,702 --> 00:46:46,702 - That? - Yeah. That's better. 656 00:46:50,974 --> 00:46:53,042 Okay now walk. Do like a... 657 00:46:53,044 --> 00:46:55,244 ...a cool cigarette walk. 658 00:47:03,987 --> 00:47:05,321 Guys aren't supposed to look like 659 00:47:05,323 --> 00:47:07,824 they're thinking about what they look like. 660 00:47:09,660 --> 00:47:11,227 Watch me. 661 00:47:19,069 --> 00:47:20,403 See? 662 00:47:22,940 --> 00:47:24,507 Smoking's gross. 663 00:47:24,509 --> 00:47:26,108 No, it's not. 664 00:47:27,711 --> 00:47:29,212 It gives you cancer. 665 00:47:31,249 --> 00:47:32,515 This is just my opinion. 666 00:47:32,517 --> 00:47:35,017 I think being strong is the most important quality. 667 00:47:35,019 --> 00:47:38,721 It's not being vulnerable, it's not being sensitive. 668 00:47:38,723 --> 00:47:39,889 It's not even-- 669 00:47:39,891 --> 00:47:42,458 honestly, it's not even being happy. 670 00:47:42,460 --> 00:47:44,293 It's about strength 671 00:47:44,295 --> 00:47:47,563 and your durability against the other emotions. 672 00:47:57,975 --> 00:47:59,575 No ring. 673 00:48:00,911 --> 00:48:02,612 No ring. 674 00:48:11,088 --> 00:48:13,256 - Hey. - Hey. 675 00:48:15,459 --> 00:48:17,260 Thanks for coming with me. 676 00:48:17,895 --> 00:48:20,229 Yeah, totally. 677 00:48:20,231 --> 00:48:21,797 I made you this. 678 00:48:23,066 --> 00:48:25,434 - It's a mix tape. - Yep. 679 00:48:25,436 --> 00:48:28,137 These were a bunch of songs that... 680 00:48:28,139 --> 00:48:31,407 ...i think my life would have been better 681 00:48:31,409 --> 00:48:35,411 if they had been around when I was a teenager. 682 00:48:35,413 --> 00:48:39,115 So I'm hoping that if you listen to them now, 683 00:48:39,117 --> 00:48:42,151 you will be a happier and more realized person 684 00:48:42,153 --> 00:48:44,587 than I could ever hope to be. 685 00:48:51,596 --> 00:48:53,262 From that night on... 686 00:48:53,264 --> 00:48:55,698 ...Abbie started telling me everything. 687 00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:58,701 She grew up in Santa Barbara 688 00:48:58,703 --> 00:49:00,236 where everyone is happy, 689 00:49:00,238 --> 00:49:02,672 but that just made her feel crazy. 690 00:49:04,442 --> 00:49:08,878 In 1973, she moved to New York City and went to art school. 691 00:49:08,880 --> 00:49:11,647 New York City made her feel sane. 692 00:49:11,649 --> 00:49:13,482 It was so fucked up. 693 00:49:14,351 --> 00:49:16,552 She fell in love with photography. 694 00:49:17,621 --> 00:49:21,057 She learned to dance when she got sad. 695 00:49:21,059 --> 00:49:23,059 She saw the man who fell to earth 696 00:49:23,061 --> 00:49:24,794 and dyed her hair red. 697 00:49:24,796 --> 00:49:27,730 I figured out how to be looked at 698 00:49:27,732 --> 00:49:29,799 by men, 699 00:49:29,801 --> 00:49:34,637 and how to make them excited, 700 00:49:34,639 --> 00:49:37,406 and uncomfortable. 701 00:49:37,408 --> 00:49:39,008 I am so cocky, 702 00:49:39,010 --> 00:49:41,210 and I was so angry 703 00:49:41,212 --> 00:49:44,046 and I was so happy. 704 00:49:47,184 --> 00:49:49,618 She fell in love with her teacher. 705 00:49:56,460 --> 00:49:58,761 Then she went to planned parenthood. 706 00:49:58,763 --> 00:50:00,363 Abigail Porter? 707 00:50:03,834 --> 00:50:07,069 Her friends couldn't deal with her having cancer, 708 00:50:07,071 --> 00:50:09,071 so she went home to her mom. 709 00:50:09,073 --> 00:50:10,172 Hey, mom... 710 00:50:10,974 --> 00:50:12,575 Gail, did you ever take... 711 00:50:12,577 --> 00:50:16,712 ...d.E.S. When you were pregnant with Abbie? 712 00:50:16,714 --> 00:50:18,080 Yes. 713 00:50:19,082 --> 00:50:21,751 I had two miscarriages before Abbie. 714 00:50:21,753 --> 00:50:23,819 The doctor told me to take it. 715 00:50:25,022 --> 00:50:28,524 D.E.S. Was a fertility medication. 716 00:50:28,526 --> 00:50:31,494 Doctors prescribed it to women. 717 00:50:31,496 --> 00:50:34,263 Later they found out that the daughters 718 00:50:34,265 --> 00:50:38,200 of the women who took it got cervical cancer. 719 00:50:38,202 --> 00:50:41,270 I didn't know that you had miscarriages. 720 00:50:43,641 --> 00:50:44,774 When her mom found out 721 00:50:44,776 --> 00:50:47,143 it was because she took that drug, 722 00:50:47,145 --> 00:50:49,478 she wouldn't talk about it. 723 00:50:49,480 --> 00:50:53,716 And everything Abbie did made her mad. 724 00:50:53,718 --> 00:50:56,285 So Abbie looked for another place to live. 725 00:50:58,422 --> 00:50:59,955 - Hi. - Hi. Hello... 726 00:50:59,957 --> 00:51:03,492 And she started renting the room upstairs. 727 00:51:03,494 --> 00:51:04,260 I'm Abbie. 728 00:51:05,529 --> 00:51:07,596 And she got a job at the news press. 729 00:51:07,598 --> 00:51:08,998 ...the landslide. 730 00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:11,467 It shows how erosion along the bluff, 731 00:51:11,469 --> 00:51:14,637 it causes instantaneous loss of oceanfront property 732 00:51:14,639 --> 00:51:16,806 and-and construction. 733 00:51:16,808 --> 00:51:18,741 Over time, it gradually... 734 00:51:30,287 --> 00:51:31,787 Hi, dorothea. 735 00:51:32,289 --> 00:51:33,989 Hey, Charlie. 736 00:51:40,063 --> 00:51:42,832 Hey... um... 737 00:51:44,935 --> 00:51:47,136 You wanna go out some time? 738 00:51:47,138 --> 00:51:48,671 Get a drink? 739 00:51:49,406 --> 00:51:51,607 Oh, um... 740 00:51:54,044 --> 00:51:55,644 Yeah. 741 00:51:57,114 --> 00:51:59,748 What the heck, Charlie? 742 00:51:59,750 --> 00:52:01,984 Sure. Okay. 743 00:52:01,986 --> 00:52:04,186 I wasn't sure. 744 00:52:04,188 --> 00:52:06,355 Uh... - What? 745 00:52:06,357 --> 00:52:09,391 Some-some of the guys thought you were a lesbian. 746 00:52:09,393 --> 00:52:13,729 You know, which, look, I don't have a problem with if you are, 747 00:52:13,731 --> 00:52:15,564 but you're not. 748 00:52:16,133 --> 00:52:18,167 Yeah, no, I am not. 749 00:52:22,272 --> 00:52:24,173 Um, should we go out then? 750 00:52:26,309 --> 00:52:28,310 Okay, yeah. Sure. 751 00:52:28,312 --> 00:52:32,381 You wanna come to dinner at my house again some time? 752 00:52:33,917 --> 00:52:35,117 You could... 753 00:52:35,552 --> 00:52:37,052 We could do that. 754 00:53:10,954 --> 00:53:12,421 Shit. 755 00:53:12,423 --> 00:53:13,656 Julie. 756 00:53:27,304 --> 00:53:29,238 It's really-it's nothing. 757 00:53:29,240 --> 00:53:31,273 I just end up there sometimes. 758 00:53:32,509 --> 00:53:34,109 What do you guys do? 759 00:53:34,811 --> 00:53:36,278 I just sleep. 760 00:53:36,746 --> 00:53:37,980 We talk. 761 00:53:44,554 --> 00:53:45,955 Can I have one? 762 00:53:47,257 --> 00:53:49,925 No, they're really bad for you. 763 00:53:49,927 --> 00:53:51,126 You smoke all the time. 764 00:53:52,162 --> 00:53:54,363 You know when I started, they weren't bad for you. 765 00:53:54,365 --> 00:53:56,665 They were just stylish, sort of edgy, 766 00:53:56,667 --> 00:53:59,602 so it's different for me. 767 00:54:05,742 --> 00:54:07,276 Okay. 768 00:54:16,419 --> 00:54:19,355 You're good at hiding stuff, huh? 769 00:54:19,357 --> 00:54:22,458 My mom calls it compartmentalizing. 770 00:54:22,460 --> 00:54:24,360 Apparently I do that a lot. 771 00:54:28,898 --> 00:54:30,566 Are you helping him? 772 00:54:33,103 --> 00:54:35,471 - I'm trying. - Really? 773 00:54:37,574 --> 00:54:39,141 What about you? 774 00:54:39,143 --> 00:54:41,844 Have you thought about your impact on him? 775 00:54:43,246 --> 00:54:45,381 It's always about the mother. 776 00:54:47,083 --> 00:54:48,484 Like... 777 00:54:48,486 --> 00:54:51,353 ...do you think you've moved on since his dad? 778 00:54:52,589 --> 00:54:56,125 You know that you're not actually a therapist? 779 00:54:58,595 --> 00:55:00,829 I've had new guys, okay? 780 00:55:03,166 --> 00:55:05,167 No one appropriate. 781 00:55:06,736 --> 00:55:08,304 Appropriate? 782 00:55:10,774 --> 00:55:13,609 Guys you're not gonna risk anything with... 783 00:55:15,578 --> 00:55:18,347 ...men you don't even really like. 784 00:55:18,349 --> 00:55:20,983 Listen, you're 17, okay? 785 00:55:20,985 --> 00:55:23,686 Maybe you don't know what's good about these guys 786 00:55:23,688 --> 00:55:25,454 that I really like. 787 00:55:27,457 --> 00:55:29,792 I'm talking about you. 788 00:55:29,794 --> 00:55:32,027 You never seem into it... 789 00:55:33,029 --> 00:55:34,997 ...except for with William. 790 00:55:36,900 --> 00:55:38,467 But... 791 00:55:39,235 --> 00:55:41,103 ...he's inappropriate. 792 00:55:43,673 --> 00:55:46,909 Okay, Jesus. Uh, yeah. 793 00:55:49,846 --> 00:55:52,314 It's hard to find someone that I like. 794 00:55:54,184 --> 00:55:56,118 I-i had my chance twice, 795 00:55:56,120 --> 00:55:59,555 but that part of life just didn't work out for me. 796 00:56:09,566 --> 00:56:11,567 - Bye. - Bye. 797 00:56:47,937 --> 00:56:49,471 Where were you? 798 00:56:51,541 --> 00:56:53,342 I had some errands. 799 00:56:56,246 --> 00:56:58,580 You did the whole list. 800 00:56:58,582 --> 00:57:00,449 You know all the stocks? 801 00:57:00,451 --> 00:57:01,683 Yeah. 802 00:57:03,586 --> 00:57:06,321 IBM is down, huh? 803 00:57:06,323 --> 00:57:09,158 Sorry. I'll fix it next time. 804 00:57:09,160 --> 00:57:11,693 That-- good job on that. 805 00:57:27,644 --> 00:57:29,812 - William? - Yes? 806 00:57:31,581 --> 00:57:33,582 Do I seem stuck to you? 807 00:57:37,287 --> 00:57:38,854 How do you mean? 808 00:57:42,859 --> 00:57:45,661 Well, I, I guess i wouldn't know, would I? 809 00:57:51,801 --> 00:57:53,735 Abbie? - Yes? 810 00:57:54,804 --> 00:57:57,105 Let's go out tonight. 811 00:57:57,874 --> 00:58:00,876 I want to see this modern world. 812 00:58:03,980 --> 00:58:05,247 Can I come? 813 00:58:25,468 --> 00:58:29,838 I don't know if I'm gonna find an appropriate man here. 814 00:58:29,840 --> 00:58:31,240 Thank you. 815 00:58:41,885 --> 00:58:43,619 What? 816 00:58:54,764 --> 00:58:56,632 What was that? 817 00:58:56,634 --> 00:58:58,166 What does that mean? 818 00:58:59,002 --> 00:59:03,438 Uh... um... uh... 819 00:59:03,440 --> 00:59:05,040 I mean you don't kiss a woman 820 00:59:05,042 --> 00:59:07,242 unless you know what you mean by it. 821 00:59:13,182 --> 00:59:15,117 Weren't you sleeping with Abbie? 822 00:59:17,253 --> 00:59:20,589 That's not something serious. It's... 823 00:59:22,559 --> 00:59:24,092 Then why do it? 824 00:59:56,994 --> 00:59:58,961 It's 1979. 825 00:59:58,963 --> 01:00:01,129 I'm 55 years old. 826 01:00:01,131 --> 01:00:04,099 This is what my son believes in. 827 01:00:04,101 --> 01:00:06,034 These people... 828 01:00:06,036 --> 01:00:08,103 ...with this hair... 829 01:00:08,105 --> 01:00:09,871 ...and these clothes... 830 01:00:09,873 --> 01:00:13,141 ...making these gestures, making these sounds. 831 01:00:14,877 --> 01:00:18,180 It's 1979. I'm 55 years old, 832 01:00:18,182 --> 01:00:19,648 and in 1999, 833 01:00:19,650 --> 01:00:22,718 I will die of cancer from the smoking. 834 01:00:26,657 --> 01:00:29,524 Hey. Are you going? 835 01:00:29,526 --> 01:00:30,926 Yeah. 836 01:00:31,894 --> 01:00:35,731 Do me a favor. Just take care of Abbie. 837 01:00:38,901 --> 01:00:42,037 They don't know this is the end of punk. 838 01:00:42,039 --> 01:00:45,207 They don't know that Reagan's coming. 839 01:00:45,209 --> 01:00:46,942 It's impossible to imagine 840 01:00:46,944 --> 01:00:50,712 that kids will stop dreaming about nuclear war, 841 01:00:50,714 --> 01:00:53,882 and have nightmares about the weather. 842 01:00:53,884 --> 01:00:57,819 It's impossible to imagine HIV, 843 01:00:57,821 --> 01:01:01,023 what will happen with skateboard tricks, 844 01:01:01,025 --> 01:01:02,858 the Internet. 845 01:01:03,393 --> 01:01:05,027 You have a good time? 846 01:01:05,029 --> 01:01:06,895 Yeah, it was interesting. 847 01:01:09,332 --> 01:01:11,299 So Abbie has your number, right? 848 01:01:11,301 --> 01:01:12,200 Yeah. 849 01:01:12,202 --> 01:01:14,703 You're gonna get calls for dinner. 850 01:01:14,705 --> 01:01:15,871 I'd like that. 851 01:01:23,780 --> 01:01:25,280 Kid. 852 01:01:28,317 --> 01:01:29,618 It's late. 853 01:01:31,421 --> 01:01:32,354 How was it? 854 01:01:33,089 --> 01:01:37,059 It was... life-changing. 855 01:01:50,707 --> 01:01:54,176 Before I die, I will prepare for y2k. 856 01:01:54,178 --> 01:01:57,779 I put canned food and water in the garage. 857 01:01:57,781 --> 01:02:01,216 I put $16,000 dollars' worth of gold coins 858 01:02:01,218 --> 01:02:05,120 into a safe deposit box at the bank of Montecito. 859 01:02:09,592 --> 01:02:12,527 I died before the new year, 860 01:02:12,529 --> 01:02:16,231 dolphin shaped balloons floated over my head. 861 01:02:16,233 --> 01:02:18,266 They were playing Louis Armstrong 862 01:02:18,268 --> 01:02:20,368 on a boom box. 863 01:02:33,616 --> 01:02:34,816 Jamie? 864 01:02:37,587 --> 01:02:39,354 Hey, sorry. Are you awake? 865 01:02:40,523 --> 01:02:42,891 I just wanted to tell you... 866 01:02:42,893 --> 01:02:46,194 ...that you have to get out of this town 867 01:02:46,196 --> 01:02:48,096 if you want to have any chance 868 01:02:48,098 --> 01:02:50,298 of an interesting life moving forward. 869 01:02:50,300 --> 01:02:52,134 What happened? 870 01:02:54,604 --> 01:02:56,505 Sorry. Shit. 871 01:02:57,273 --> 01:02:59,007 We don't have sex. 872 01:03:00,076 --> 01:03:01,676 I just sleep here. 873 01:03:04,113 --> 01:03:05,580 Okay. 874 01:03:07,216 --> 01:03:09,017 Can I lay down? 875 01:03:09,019 --> 01:03:10,619 - We were sleeping. - Just scoot over. 876 01:03:10,621 --> 01:03:13,722 It's okay. I'm just gonna talk to Jamie for a second. 877 01:03:16,425 --> 01:03:19,928 So Lynette winters spit on me, 878 01:03:19,930 --> 01:03:21,396 so then I hit her. 879 01:03:21,398 --> 01:03:22,798 Why'd she spit on you? 880 01:03:22,800 --> 01:03:24,332 Because I spit on her, 881 01:03:24,334 --> 01:03:25,867 right before I was going to New York 882 01:03:25,869 --> 01:03:28,036 and I thought I was never gonna come back. 883 01:03:28,038 --> 01:03:29,771 It felt very liberating at the time. 884 01:03:29,773 --> 01:03:31,106 - Fucking bitch! - All right. 885 01:03:31,108 --> 01:03:33,308 And somehow I ended up breaking a chair. 886 01:03:35,711 --> 01:03:37,879 Hey, Julian, I'm sorry. 887 01:03:37,881 --> 01:03:40,115 - You okay? - Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. 888 01:03:42,351 --> 01:03:43,718 And then William told me 889 01:03:43,720 --> 01:03:45,954 he didn't want to sleep with me anymore. 890 01:03:45,956 --> 01:03:48,423 What are you saying? I don't like you! 891 01:03:48,425 --> 01:03:50,091 I don't like you! I don't like-- 892 01:03:51,394 --> 01:03:55,263 just, just, I'm just gonna talk to Jamie for a second. 893 01:03:55,265 --> 01:03:59,601 Um, you cannot let her sleep here 894 01:03:59,603 --> 01:04:02,370 if she's not having sex with you. 895 01:04:02,372 --> 01:04:04,773 It's disempowering. 896 01:04:05,808 --> 01:04:09,177 Also, you need to get out of this town 897 01:04:09,179 --> 01:04:12,247 before you start working at a sunglasses shop. 898 01:04:15,219 --> 01:04:17,219 I mean, that goes for you, too. 899 01:04:33,436 --> 01:04:37,005 Jamie, um, here's some books from a feminism class I took. 900 01:04:37,007 --> 01:04:38,540 I thought it would be helpful 901 01:04:38,542 --> 01:04:40,308 for you to get a woman's perspective. 902 01:04:40,310 --> 01:04:41,610 What happened to your lip? 903 01:04:41,612 --> 01:04:43,278 Oh, I got in a fight. 904 01:04:43,280 --> 01:04:44,713 - You want some apples? - What?! 905 01:04:44,715 --> 01:04:47,215 There was a fight. It was-it was ridiculous. 906 01:04:47,217 --> 01:04:49,584 Hold on, is that our bodies, ourselves? 907 01:04:49,586 --> 01:04:50,752 Yes, it is. 908 01:04:50,754 --> 01:04:53,488 This was a really good book. 909 01:04:53,490 --> 01:04:59,527 There's a really good chapter on home... childbirths. 910 01:04:59,529 --> 01:05:03,498 Home birth actually stunts the baby's growth personality. 911 01:05:03,500 --> 01:05:06,101 What is a growth personality? 912 01:05:06,103 --> 01:05:07,435 It's a real term. 913 01:05:07,437 --> 01:05:10,872 "And who knows what it means for a newborn 914 01:05:10,874 --> 01:05:14,376 to see wood walls and carpeted floor 915 01:05:14,378 --> 01:05:17,112 and to smell real human smells 916 01:05:17,114 --> 01:05:20,482 and to feel of wool and cotton and flannel clothes 917 01:05:20,484 --> 01:05:24,586 instead of starchy, white, deodorized" 918 01:05:24,588 --> 01:05:25,921 dot, dot, dot. 919 01:05:25,923 --> 01:05:28,056 To me, that meant, like, "and what else?" 920 01:05:36,699 --> 01:05:38,366 Women's sexuality, 921 01:05:38,368 --> 01:05:40,635 defined by men to benefit men, 922 01:05:40,637 --> 01:05:43,138 has been downgraded and perverted, 923 01:05:43,140 --> 01:05:45,507 repressed and channeled. 924 01:05:45,509 --> 01:05:48,910 Anatomically, all orgasms are centered in the clitoris, 925 01:05:48,912 --> 01:05:50,912 whether they result from direct manual pressure 926 01:05:50,914 --> 01:05:52,580 applied to the clitoris, 927 01:05:52,582 --> 01:05:54,249 indirect pressure resulting from-- 928 01:05:54,251 --> 01:05:55,884 last night, i fucked Heather so hard, 929 01:05:55,886 --> 01:05:57,419 she came like three times. 930 01:05:58,854 --> 01:06:01,356 How did you stimulate her clitoris? 931 01:06:02,291 --> 01:06:04,025 With my dick. 932 01:06:05,928 --> 01:06:08,863 Women need direct clitoral stimulation, 933 01:06:08,865 --> 01:06:13,601 like with fingers or a vibrator or something. 934 01:06:13,603 --> 01:06:15,103 She probably faked it. 935 01:06:15,105 --> 01:06:17,205 Women fake it all the time. 936 01:06:17,207 --> 01:06:19,341 Talking heads're a bunch of fags. 937 01:06:21,110 --> 01:06:22,877 Actually, there's a girl in their band, 938 01:06:22,879 --> 01:06:25,914 and she's dating the drummer, so... 939 01:06:28,085 --> 01:06:30,385 Your name's Jamie, right? 940 01:06:32,522 --> 01:06:34,055 Fuckin' art fag. 941 01:06:43,000 --> 01:06:45,233 So what was the fight about? 942 01:06:48,204 --> 01:06:50,438 Clitoral stimulation. 943 01:06:53,843 --> 01:06:55,777 Why do you need to fight about that? 944 01:06:57,046 --> 01:06:58,446 I, I don't know. I... 945 01:06:58,448 --> 01:07:01,016 I wanna be a good guy, okay? 946 01:07:01,018 --> 01:07:06,087 I just... want to be able to satisfy a woman. 947 01:07:13,396 --> 01:07:15,764 Kid, I'm sure you will. 948 01:07:31,113 --> 01:07:32,480 Shit. 949 01:07:33,983 --> 01:07:35,583 Jamie! 950 01:07:36,285 --> 01:07:37,685 That's not cool. 951 01:07:37,687 --> 01:07:39,687 Yeah. That's what Matt called me 952 01:07:39,689 --> 01:07:41,823 for liking the talking heads. 953 01:07:43,125 --> 01:07:44,426 Uh-huh. 954 01:07:45,194 --> 01:07:48,563 And what is "black flag?" 955 01:07:48,565 --> 01:07:50,365 It's a hard core band, 956 01:07:50,367 --> 01:07:52,801 so the people who love black flag 957 01:07:52,803 --> 01:07:55,270 hate the talking heads. 958 01:07:55,838 --> 01:07:56,871 What?! 959 01:07:57,606 --> 01:08:01,342 The punk scene is very divisive. 960 01:08:01,344 --> 01:08:02,143 Hey! 961 01:08:03,079 --> 01:08:05,947 You're all so advanced, aren't you? 962 01:08:07,249 --> 01:08:10,151 The next time a dude tells you a sex story, 963 01:08:10,153 --> 01:08:13,655 you just have to agree with everything he says 964 01:08:13,657 --> 01:08:16,758 and act like it's right, even if it's not, 965 01:08:16,760 --> 01:08:18,827 because they don't wanna be contradicted. 966 01:08:18,829 --> 01:08:21,696 They just wanna live in their fantasy lands. 967 01:08:23,899 --> 01:08:27,168 How are you doing... With everything? 968 01:08:43,152 --> 01:08:45,453 Whatever you think your life is going to be like, 969 01:08:45,455 --> 01:08:49,357 just know it's not gonna be anything like that. 970 01:08:53,195 --> 01:08:54,329 Right. 971 01:09:09,845 --> 01:09:11,746 Take me to that club. 972 01:09:17,019 --> 01:09:18,353 Tonight? 973 01:09:19,722 --> 01:09:21,322 Hey. 974 01:09:21,324 --> 01:09:22,190 Hey. 975 01:09:23,025 --> 01:09:26,060 Wow, you look amazing. Where you going? 976 01:09:26,062 --> 01:09:28,229 We're just gonna go out. Is that okay? 977 01:09:28,231 --> 01:09:30,932 Well yeah, of course. And, uh, where? 978 01:09:30,934 --> 01:09:32,066 Just goin' out. 979 01:09:35,104 --> 01:09:36,871 - Bye. - Bye! 980 01:09:55,257 --> 01:09:56,724 Put that down. 981 01:09:57,526 --> 01:10:00,094 Hey, could I get a beer? 982 01:10:02,965 --> 01:10:06,434 Now say, "i-I'm into older women." 983 01:10:06,436 --> 01:10:08,136 Just say it. 984 01:10:08,737 --> 01:10:10,538 I'm into older women. 985 01:10:10,540 --> 01:10:11,706 Oh... 986 01:10:13,143 --> 01:10:14,976 How old are you? 987 01:10:14,978 --> 01:10:16,978 Age is a bourgeois construct. 988 01:10:18,347 --> 01:10:20,648 Age is a bourgeois construct. 989 01:10:21,317 --> 01:10:22,750 That's a good answer. 990 01:10:23,586 --> 01:10:25,353 Age is a bourgeois construct. 991 01:10:25,355 --> 01:10:26,788 Okay, okay. You get it. 992 01:10:26,790 --> 01:10:29,857 Um, so now if she asks you any questions, 993 01:10:29,859 --> 01:10:32,860 you just say as little as possible, okay? 994 01:10:33,796 --> 01:10:36,431 Now show me your most inscrutable face. 995 01:10:48,245 --> 01:10:50,645 I don't really make choices, when they... 996 01:10:50,647 --> 01:10:51,879 ...about... 997 01:10:52,581 --> 01:10:55,116 ...about women. They just... 998 01:10:55,118 --> 01:10:56,351 They come to you. 999 01:10:57,386 --> 01:11:00,388 That-that's-- you could have more than that. 1000 01:11:03,325 --> 01:11:05,026 But what about you? Why-- 1001 01:11:05,928 --> 01:11:08,663 I mean, what happened to Jamie's dad? 1002 01:11:11,333 --> 01:11:14,068 Well... 1003 01:11:15,404 --> 01:11:19,040 He just, no-- he just didn't turn out like I thought he would. 1004 01:11:21,277 --> 01:11:23,144 I guess that happens. 1005 01:11:23,146 --> 01:11:25,480 There must have been something good about him. 1006 01:11:28,417 --> 01:11:31,586 Um, he was left-handed. 1007 01:11:32,454 --> 01:11:35,490 That's it? That's it? 1008 01:11:35,492 --> 01:11:37,692 Yes, and I was right-handed. 1009 01:11:38,360 --> 01:11:41,129 And so in the morning, 1010 01:11:41,131 --> 01:11:44,198 we would look at the stock reports together, 1011 01:11:44,200 --> 01:11:47,201 and... 1012 01:11:47,203 --> 01:11:48,703 ...he could write with his left-hand 1013 01:11:48,705 --> 01:11:51,272 and scratch my back with his right. 1014 01:11:54,777 --> 01:11:56,411 And that's it? 1015 01:11:58,047 --> 01:11:59,447 I loved that. 1016 01:12:04,019 --> 01:12:05,553 Do you ever meditate? 1017 01:12:08,558 --> 01:12:10,591 Uh... 1018 01:12:10,593 --> 01:12:12,160 I feel the air, 1019 01:12:12,162 --> 01:12:15,596 coolness of the air go through my nose. 1020 01:12:15,598 --> 01:12:17,699 All I'm really doing is... 1021 01:12:19,335 --> 01:12:21,769 ...bringing my attention 1022 01:12:21,771 --> 01:12:24,105 back to my breath. 1023 01:12:24,107 --> 01:12:26,741 So when I take a breath in... 1024 01:12:27,643 --> 01:12:29,344 ...there's a feeling. 1025 01:12:30,045 --> 01:12:31,913 It's air going in. 1026 01:12:33,482 --> 01:12:35,149 It's air going out. 1027 01:12:35,851 --> 01:12:37,418 It's a good feeling. 1028 01:12:43,692 --> 01:12:45,927 No, it's okay. Go ahead. I'm just gonna... 1029 01:12:49,298 --> 01:12:50,865 Go ahead. 1030 01:12:50,867 --> 01:12:52,700 I'm just gonna smoke. 1031 01:12:53,902 --> 01:12:55,403 I'm listening. 1032 01:12:57,039 --> 01:12:59,273 All right, I wanna get on the same page. 1033 01:13:00,376 --> 01:13:01,809 You are such-- 1034 01:13:01,811 --> 01:13:05,113 how did you get to be this person that you are? 1035 01:13:05,115 --> 01:13:07,615 It's so... You're so unusual. 1036 01:13:10,787 --> 01:13:12,153 William's dad managed 1037 01:13:12,155 --> 01:13:15,390 an auto repair shop in Cleveland. 1038 01:13:15,392 --> 01:13:18,626 Engines always made sense to him. 1039 01:13:19,595 --> 01:13:21,629 He tried to put himself through college, 1040 01:13:21,631 --> 01:13:23,564 but couldn't afford it. 1041 01:13:27,236 --> 01:13:30,304 He met Theresa in 1963. 1042 01:13:30,306 --> 01:13:33,274 She was smart, brave, better off. 1043 01:13:33,276 --> 01:13:34,942 They were in love. 1044 01:13:34,944 --> 01:13:36,411 They'd move to Oakland, 1045 01:13:36,413 --> 01:13:38,746 then to a commune in sebastopol. 1046 01:13:38,748 --> 01:13:40,915 Well, I learned to be like them, you know? 1047 01:13:40,917 --> 01:13:43,651 And... as it turns out, 1048 01:13:43,653 --> 01:13:46,721 it's a lot easier than I thought it would be. 1049 01:13:46,723 --> 01:13:50,124 But it wasn't really me i was doing it for... 1050 01:13:50,126 --> 01:13:52,927 ...so that i wouldn't lose Theresa. 1051 01:13:54,062 --> 01:13:55,763 He started talking like them, 1052 01:13:55,765 --> 01:13:57,198 looking like them, 1053 01:13:57,200 --> 01:14:01,636 but they made him feel old and uneducated and poor. 1054 01:14:01,638 --> 01:14:03,137 Theresa started thinking 1055 01:14:03,139 --> 01:14:07,208 William was uptight and possessive and she left him. 1056 01:14:07,210 --> 01:14:08,409 After Theresa, 1057 01:14:08,411 --> 01:14:10,478 women didn't have to look one way or the other, 1058 01:14:10,480 --> 01:14:12,447 or be a certain way. 1059 01:14:16,119 --> 01:14:18,352 I think that I just-- 1060 01:14:18,354 --> 01:14:20,221 I want to win them over 1061 01:14:20,223 --> 01:14:22,457 so that I won't be lonely. 1062 01:14:22,459 --> 01:14:23,691 Do you live here? 1063 01:14:24,159 --> 01:14:25,326 I do. 1064 01:14:25,328 --> 01:14:27,962 But once I have them, 1065 01:14:27,964 --> 01:14:30,031 I don't really know what to do with them. 1066 01:14:37,940 --> 01:14:39,707 You wanna do something later? 1067 01:14:40,676 --> 01:14:42,410 You're sweet. 1068 01:14:43,512 --> 01:14:45,012 I should go. 1069 01:14:46,515 --> 01:14:49,317 What he likes is making bowls. 1070 01:14:49,319 --> 01:14:51,219 He doesn't smell like oil and grease. 1071 01:14:51,221 --> 01:14:54,222 His hands don't look like dumb mechanic's hands. 1072 01:14:54,224 --> 01:14:56,157 I was using the smaller bowls for a while. 1073 01:14:56,159 --> 01:14:58,759 Um, and then I was kind of feeling like I needed 1074 01:14:58,761 --> 01:15:01,896 to beat the crap out of some stuff, so... 1075 01:15:01,898 --> 01:15:05,500 And when it gets a little bit drier, 1076 01:15:05,502 --> 01:15:07,235 you spray everything away. 1077 01:15:08,136 --> 01:15:09,537 Wow. 1078 01:15:10,038 --> 01:15:11,939 It's beautiful. 1079 01:15:17,246 --> 01:15:18,646 What? 1080 01:15:21,149 --> 01:15:22,683 Did you fix it? 1081 01:15:22,685 --> 01:15:23,784 Um... 1082 01:15:23,786 --> 01:15:25,486 Well, maybe... 1083 01:15:25,488 --> 01:15:28,189 It's, uh, part vol-Volkswagen now. 1084 01:15:28,191 --> 01:15:29,957 I had to improvise. 1085 01:15:56,752 --> 01:16:00,888 And how are you gonna get to know a person way over there? 1086 01:16:00,890 --> 01:16:03,925 What am-- what am I supposed to do? 1087 01:16:03,927 --> 01:16:06,727 Well, just make a little small talk 1088 01:16:06,729 --> 01:16:08,296 and introduce yourself, 1089 01:16:08,298 --> 01:16:09,797 ask her to dance. 1090 01:16:10,766 --> 01:16:13,000 Okay. Hello, I'm William. 1091 01:16:13,735 --> 01:16:15,469 - Hello. - Hello. 1092 01:16:15,471 --> 01:16:17,638 - Um, I live downstairs. - Oh, yeah. 1093 01:16:17,640 --> 01:16:19,874 I'm the one with the cars. 1094 01:16:19,876 --> 01:16:22,109 Would you like to dance with me? 1095 01:16:22,111 --> 01:16:24,912 - Yes. Sure. - Okay. 1096 01:16:24,914 --> 01:16:26,948 Put your hand out, right? 1097 01:16:26,950 --> 01:16:28,516 Put the other hand here. 1098 01:16:28,518 --> 01:16:30,618 And just be there. 1099 01:16:31,386 --> 01:16:33,220 She just wants a little company. 1100 01:16:34,156 --> 01:16:35,556 Oh. 1101 01:16:36,692 --> 01:16:38,025 Okay. 1102 01:16:40,429 --> 01:16:42,129 That's nice. 1103 01:17:14,529 --> 01:17:17,832 I-i feel like i-i understand you. 1104 01:17:19,635 --> 01:17:21,602 We should get away from here. 1105 01:17:21,604 --> 01:17:23,537 Just-just me and you, you know? 1106 01:17:23,539 --> 01:17:26,407 Go up the coast, be alone somewhere. 1107 01:17:28,143 --> 01:17:30,845 Jamie, you're in love with Julie. 1108 01:17:35,484 --> 01:17:38,185 You can't let her push you around. 1109 01:17:38,187 --> 01:17:40,354 You have to tell her what you want. 1110 01:17:50,599 --> 01:17:54,435 - ...if you, if you were to listen to it... - Right. 1111 01:17:54,437 --> 01:17:56,370 What does-what does that mean? 1112 01:17:56,372 --> 01:17:58,305 "Art fag?" I mean what does-- 1113 01:17:58,307 --> 01:18:00,541 if you were to think about it 1114 01:18:00,543 --> 01:18:03,177 from more like a sociological perspective, 1115 01:18:03,179 --> 01:18:05,446 what does that come from? "Art fag." 1116 01:18:05,448 --> 01:18:06,714 - I think we-- - what is that? 1117 01:18:06,716 --> 01:18:09,650 - Abbie understand it. - Abbie does not understand it. 1118 01:18:09,652 --> 01:18:11,719 She's just a part of it. 1119 01:18:26,635 --> 01:18:28,436 You don't need to like it. 1120 01:18:29,037 --> 01:18:30,638 Okay, what is he saying? 1121 01:18:33,208 --> 01:18:35,342 "Head on my shoulders..." 1122 01:18:37,746 --> 01:18:39,547 "Going berserk..." 1123 01:18:39,549 --> 01:18:40,915 Right. 1124 01:18:40,917 --> 01:18:42,249 Is that interesting? 1125 01:18:42,251 --> 01:18:43,818 I don't know. 1126 01:18:43,820 --> 01:18:45,720 I don't know either. 1127 01:18:45,722 --> 01:18:47,655 I think we're maybe over-thinking this. 1128 01:19:03,806 --> 01:19:05,773 Let's try the art fag one. 1129 01:19:08,244 --> 01:19:10,211 Here come the art fags. 1130 01:19:14,217 --> 01:19:15,282 Oh, yeah. 1131 01:19:32,934 --> 01:19:34,401 All right, you ready? 1132 01:19:37,072 --> 01:19:38,372 That's it. 1133 01:19:42,011 --> 01:19:44,512 I guess we're more the art fag type. 1134 01:19:44,514 --> 01:19:45,780 Uh-huh. 1135 01:19:45,782 --> 01:19:47,181 I like that. 1136 01:20:25,254 --> 01:20:27,454 Come here, inscrutable boy. 1137 01:20:31,593 --> 01:20:33,294 I gave him beer, 1138 01:20:33,296 --> 01:20:35,162 and then i-i taught him 1139 01:20:35,164 --> 01:20:38,165 how to verbally seduce women, 1140 01:20:38,167 --> 01:20:40,701 and we drove drunk, 1141 01:20:40,703 --> 01:20:42,236 but I stopped that, 1142 01:20:42,238 --> 01:20:45,172 and then he kissed Trish. 1143 01:20:45,174 --> 01:20:47,374 And then we walked home. 1144 01:20:49,778 --> 01:20:51,111 Ah. 1145 01:20:57,118 --> 01:20:58,719 You're not mad? 1146 01:21:00,021 --> 01:21:01,288 You're mad. 1147 01:21:07,829 --> 01:21:10,364 You get to see him out in the world 1148 01:21:10,366 --> 01:21:12,066 as a person. 1149 01:21:12,934 --> 01:21:14,635 I never will. 1150 01:21:22,210 --> 01:21:23,510 Just-- 1151 01:21:31,753 --> 01:21:33,087 there. 1152 01:22:05,020 --> 01:22:07,354 I can't believe Abbie gave you this book. 1153 01:22:09,224 --> 01:22:10,557 It's interesting. 1154 01:22:13,395 --> 01:22:14,695 What's it like... 1155 01:22:15,397 --> 01:22:16,597 ...for girls? 1156 01:22:16,599 --> 01:22:19,566 What? Sex? 1157 01:22:22,003 --> 01:22:23,404 Orgasms. 1158 01:22:26,608 --> 01:22:28,909 Do you really want to know what it's like? 1159 01:22:32,147 --> 01:22:33,480 Yeah. 1160 01:22:34,783 --> 01:22:36,517 I don't have them. 1161 01:22:38,420 --> 01:22:39,887 What? 1162 01:22:41,189 --> 01:22:43,057 None of my friends do. 1163 01:22:45,728 --> 01:22:47,361 Then why do you do it? 1164 01:22:47,996 --> 01:22:50,431 There's other reasons. 1165 01:22:50,433 --> 01:22:53,033 You know, like the way that he looks at you... 1166 01:22:56,304 --> 01:22:59,540 ...or the way they get a little bit desperate at some point. 1167 01:23:00,643 --> 01:23:03,577 And the little sounds that they make. 1168 01:23:09,384 --> 01:23:10,584 Ah! 1169 01:23:17,125 --> 01:23:18,959 And their bodies... 1170 01:23:21,129 --> 01:23:24,264 ...'cause you don't exactly know what they're gonna look like... 1171 01:23:25,700 --> 01:23:28,369 ...or smell or feel like... 1172 01:23:30,472 --> 01:23:32,373 ...until you do it. 1173 01:23:35,844 --> 01:23:38,846 But, yeah... Half the time I regret it. 1174 01:23:42,617 --> 01:23:44,651 Then why do you do it? 1175 01:23:46,888 --> 01:23:49,289 'Cause half the time, i don't regret it. 1176 01:24:00,568 --> 01:24:02,369 "I am gregarious. 1177 01:24:02,371 --> 01:24:04,071 Interested in others. 1178 01:24:04,073 --> 01:24:06,073 And I think intelligent. 1179 01:24:10,245 --> 01:24:12,413 All I ask is to get to know people 1180 01:24:12,415 --> 01:24:15,115 and to have them interested in knowing me. 1181 01:24:15,117 --> 01:24:17,084 I doubt whether I would marry again 1182 01:24:17,086 --> 01:24:19,720 and live that close to another individual, 1183 01:24:19,722 --> 01:24:22,022 but I remain invisible. 1184 01:24:23,124 --> 01:24:25,926 Don't pretend for a minute as you look at me, 1185 01:24:25,928 --> 01:24:28,695 that I am not as alive as you are, 1186 01:24:28,697 --> 01:24:32,132 and I do not suffer from the category to which you are forcing me. 1187 01:24:36,071 --> 01:24:38,539 I think, stripped down, i look more attractive 1188 01:24:38,541 --> 01:24:40,507 than my ex-husband... 1189 01:24:41,443 --> 01:24:43,744 ...but I am sexually and socially obsolete 1190 01:24:43,746 --> 01:24:45,712 and he is not. 1191 01:24:46,915 --> 01:24:49,650 I have a capacity now for taking people as they are, 1192 01:24:49,652 --> 01:24:51,919 which I lacked at 20. 1193 01:24:51,921 --> 01:24:56,090 I reach orgasm in half the time and I know how to please, 1194 01:24:56,092 --> 01:25:00,327 yet I do not even dare show a man that I find him attractive. 1195 01:25:00,329 --> 01:25:03,797 If I do, he may react as if I have insulted him. 1196 01:25:05,800 --> 01:25:08,669 I'm supposed to fulfill my small functions 1197 01:25:08,671 --> 01:25:10,304 and vanish." 1198 01:25:15,977 --> 01:25:17,277 Well... 1199 01:25:17,946 --> 01:25:19,713 What do you think of all that? 1200 01:25:23,284 --> 01:25:26,186 I don't know. Maybe I'm a feminist. 1201 01:25:31,893 --> 01:25:33,160 So... 1202 01:25:38,032 --> 01:25:40,067 You think that's me. 1203 01:25:40,802 --> 01:25:42,569 No, I don't know. 1204 01:25:43,905 --> 01:25:46,773 So you think you know me better because you read that? 1205 01:25:46,775 --> 01:25:48,408 No, no. 1206 01:25:51,112 --> 01:25:53,347 Then why are you reading it to me? 1207 01:25:57,085 --> 01:26:00,053 Um, I thought it was interesting. 1208 01:26:05,960 --> 01:26:07,861 Okay, well... 1209 01:26:10,532 --> 01:26:13,734 I-i don't need a book to know about myself. 1210 01:26:21,643 --> 01:26:23,043 Sorry. 1211 01:26:39,561 --> 01:26:42,029 I mean, I appreciate you trying to help. 1212 01:26:42,031 --> 01:26:45,566 I do. I just think you're taking it too far. 1213 01:26:45,568 --> 01:26:48,035 This stuff with, 1214 01:26:48,037 --> 01:26:50,170 you know, the women's movement i respect, 1215 01:26:50,172 --> 01:26:52,539 but it's just, it's complicated 1216 01:26:52,541 --> 01:26:54,541 and I think it's too much for him. 1217 01:26:54,543 --> 01:26:56,944 What are-- I don't know what it is that you're talking about. 1218 01:26:56,946 --> 01:26:59,713 - Okay. He's a 15-year-old boy. - I know. 1219 01:26:59,715 --> 01:27:02,749 You're giving him hard core feminism, and it-it-- 1220 01:27:02,751 --> 01:27:04,551 but he really loves it, and it's really-- 1221 01:27:04,553 --> 01:27:07,054 it's helping him... - Helping him what? 1222 01:27:07,056 --> 01:27:08,522 It's helping him become a man, th-- 1223 01:27:08,524 --> 01:27:09,923 what you were talking about. It's like-- 1224 01:27:09,925 --> 01:27:12,726 learning about a female orgasm is helping him be a man? 1225 01:27:12,728 --> 01:27:15,429 Well, what man do you know that cares anything about that? 1226 01:27:15,431 --> 01:27:17,264 - Look, he's-- - I mean that's a miracle. 1227 01:27:17,266 --> 01:27:19,266 But he is a high school kid, okay? 1228 01:27:19,268 --> 01:27:21,301 It's too much. I'm telling you. 1229 01:27:25,039 --> 01:27:27,507 I think he seems really okay with it. 1230 01:27:28,876 --> 01:27:31,812 You know you don't actually know what you're doing with him? 1231 01:27:34,215 --> 01:27:38,652 Okay? So... just... 1232 01:27:41,389 --> 01:27:43,123 As you know, 1233 01:27:43,125 --> 01:27:47,527 there is a growing disrespect for government, 1234 01:27:47,529 --> 01:27:49,930 for schools, the news media 1235 01:27:49,932 --> 01:27:51,265 and other institutions. 1236 01:27:52,400 --> 01:27:57,271 This is not a message of happiness or reassurance. 1237 01:27:57,273 --> 01:27:59,473 But it is the truth 1238 01:27:59,475 --> 01:28:01,375 and it is a warning. 1239 01:28:02,577 --> 01:28:06,480 It is a crisis... Of confidence. 1240 01:28:08,050 --> 01:28:10,050 We can see this crisis 1241 01:28:10,052 --> 01:28:13,387 in the growing doubt about the meaning of our own lives 1242 01:28:13,389 --> 01:28:16,189 and in the loss of a unity of purpose 1243 01:28:16,191 --> 01:28:17,924 for our nation. 1244 01:28:19,494 --> 01:28:21,662 Too many of us now 1245 01:28:21,664 --> 01:28:24,564 tend to worship self-indulgence 1246 01:28:24,566 --> 01:28:26,533 and consumption. 1247 01:28:27,302 --> 01:28:29,369 But we've discovered 1248 01:28:29,371 --> 01:28:33,974 that owning things and consuming things... 1249 01:28:33,976 --> 01:28:36,143 ...does not satisfy 1250 01:28:36,145 --> 01:28:39,079 our longing for meaning. 1251 01:28:40,882 --> 01:28:42,783 We always believed... 1252 01:28:43,751 --> 01:28:46,720 ...that we were part of a great movement 1253 01:28:46,722 --> 01:28:49,089 of humanity itself... 1254 01:28:49,091 --> 01:28:52,659 ...involved in a search for freedom. 1255 01:28:57,332 --> 01:29:00,767 We are at a turning point in our history. 1256 01:29:03,071 --> 01:29:05,305 The path that leads to fragmentation 1257 01:29:05,307 --> 01:29:07,240 and self-interest. 1258 01:29:08,643 --> 01:29:12,612 Down that road lies a mistaken idea of freedom. 1259 01:29:14,515 --> 01:29:18,118 It is a certain route to failure. 1260 01:29:20,722 --> 01:29:22,856 Thank you and good night. 1261 01:29:24,892 --> 01:29:28,128 Wow. He is so screwed. 1262 01:29:28,130 --> 01:29:29,730 No shit. 1263 01:29:29,732 --> 01:29:31,431 It's over for him. 1264 01:29:32,533 --> 01:29:34,868 I thought that was beautiful. 1265 01:29:36,371 --> 01:29:40,907 Well, why didn't you just say, "I'm sorry, I'm done?" 1266 01:29:40,909 --> 01:29:42,242 My pride. 1267 01:29:42,244 --> 01:29:43,677 - I know. - Yeah, it's... 1268 01:29:43,679 --> 01:29:46,446 You didn't seem like a prideful person. You seem humble. 1269 01:29:46,448 --> 01:29:49,916 I left my pride outside today. 1270 01:29:50,918 --> 01:29:53,120 Jamie, would you please wake up Abbie? 1271 01:29:55,223 --> 01:29:57,624 - Yeah. Abbie? - No, stop it. 1272 01:29:57,626 --> 01:30:00,127 I'm menstruating. 1273 01:30:00,129 --> 01:30:01,795 Abbie, you know what? 1274 01:30:01,797 --> 01:30:03,463 You're menstruating. Okay. 1275 01:30:03,465 --> 01:30:05,532 But do you have to say it? 1276 01:30:05,534 --> 01:30:07,033 Okay? And do we really need to know 1277 01:30:07,035 --> 01:30:09,403 everything that's going on with you? 1278 01:30:09,405 --> 01:30:12,105 What? I'm menstruating. 1279 01:30:12,107 --> 01:30:13,306 Why is that a big deal? 1280 01:30:13,308 --> 01:30:14,941 We don't need to hear about that. 1281 01:30:14,943 --> 01:30:16,076 Thank you. 1282 01:30:17,345 --> 01:30:19,913 If you ever want to have an adult relationship with a woman, 1283 01:30:19,915 --> 01:30:22,549 like if you want to have sex with a woman's vagina, 1284 01:30:22,551 --> 01:30:24,050 you need to be comfortable 1285 01:30:24,052 --> 01:30:27,154 with the fact that the vagina menstruates, 1286 01:30:27,156 --> 01:30:29,556 and just say menstruation. It's not a big deal. 1287 01:30:29,558 --> 01:30:33,160 So start saying it now. Menstruation. 1288 01:30:34,128 --> 01:30:37,097 - Now? - Yes. Menstruation. 1289 01:30:37,799 --> 01:30:39,099 Menstruation. 1290 01:30:39,101 --> 01:30:41,635 Jamie, no, you don't have to. 1291 01:30:41,637 --> 01:30:42,903 You're saying it like you're scared. 1292 01:30:42,905 --> 01:30:44,070 Don't say it like you're scared. - Abbie. 1293 01:30:44,072 --> 01:30:46,473 - Say it like it's normal. - Menstruation. 1294 01:30:46,475 --> 01:30:48,008 - Menstruation. - Menstruation. 1295 01:30:48,010 --> 01:30:50,444 Not bad. Julian, menstruation. 1296 01:30:50,446 --> 01:30:52,846 You can say it. Right now. 1297 01:30:52,848 --> 01:30:55,982 - I'm sorry. - Uh, men-menstruation. 1298 01:30:55,984 --> 01:30:58,852 Just keep eye contact with me. What-- who are you looking at? 1299 01:30:58,854 --> 01:31:01,087 - Menstruation. - Menstruation. 1300 01:31:01,089 --> 01:31:02,989 Yeah, that's right. Menstruation. 1301 01:31:02,991 --> 01:31:05,926 Charlie, you're quiet. Menstruation? 1302 01:31:05,928 --> 01:31:07,160 Menstruation? 1303 01:31:07,162 --> 01:31:10,297 No, not like a question. Menstruation. 1304 01:31:10,299 --> 01:31:11,498 Menstruation. 1305 01:31:11,500 --> 01:31:13,533 Now everybody say it together. 1306 01:31:13,535 --> 01:31:15,135 Menstruation. 1307 01:31:15,137 --> 01:31:18,839 Like gentle, happy, but casual. And... 1308 01:31:18,841 --> 01:31:20,474 Menstruation. 1309 01:31:20,476 --> 01:31:21,675 It's gross, Abbie. 1310 01:31:21,677 --> 01:31:23,176 No, it's it's not gross. 1311 01:31:23,178 --> 01:31:25,812 It's a very deep time creatively, 1312 01:31:25,814 --> 01:31:28,215 and it's emotionally transformative. 1313 01:31:29,083 --> 01:31:31,151 And sex during menstruation 1314 01:31:31,153 --> 01:31:33,053 can be very pleasurable for a woman. 1315 01:31:33,055 --> 01:31:36,189 It can even, like, relieve some of the cramps. 1316 01:31:36,191 --> 01:31:39,392 Jamie, I also wanna say never have sex with just the vagina. 1317 01:31:39,394 --> 01:31:41,027 You have to have sex with the whole woman. 1318 01:31:42,797 --> 01:31:45,999 - That's slightly off topic of what I'm talking about. - You too? You too, William? 1319 01:31:46,001 --> 01:31:48,201 I mean... thank you. - But that's okay. 1320 01:31:48,203 --> 01:31:50,670 The first time that I got my period, 1321 01:31:50,672 --> 01:31:52,405 I was watching 1322 01:31:52,407 --> 01:31:54,040 one that flew over the cuckoo's nest 1323 01:31:54,042 --> 01:31:55,642 with some guy. 1324 01:31:55,644 --> 01:31:56,610 And, um... 1325 01:31:57,545 --> 01:32:00,046 Yeah, I just told him that I had to leave, 1326 01:32:00,048 --> 01:32:03,617 so I went to the market and I bought a box of tampons, 1327 01:32:03,619 --> 01:32:06,486 and I read the instructions on the box and I put one in... 1328 01:32:06,488 --> 01:32:08,054 - Julie? - ..And I never told my mom about it, 1329 01:32:08,056 --> 01:32:10,524 but she never asked, so it didn't matter. 1330 01:32:11,592 --> 01:32:14,327 And I never saw the end of the cuckoo's nest. 1331 01:32:16,864 --> 01:32:18,498 Jack Nicholson got a lobotomy, 1332 01:32:18,500 --> 01:32:20,500 and so the big Indian guy 1333 01:32:20,502 --> 01:32:22,402 smothered him with a pillow so that he could, 1334 01:32:22,404 --> 01:32:23,904 you know, be free and... 1335 01:32:23,906 --> 01:32:25,639 - Okay, let's talk about something else. - Yeah. It was good. 1336 01:32:25,641 --> 01:32:27,073 - Would you mind? - When I was 14, 1337 01:32:27,075 --> 01:32:28,675 I had sex for the first time. 1338 01:32:28,677 --> 01:32:29,809 Julie! 1339 01:32:29,811 --> 01:32:31,912 Julie, please. You-- honey... 1340 01:32:31,914 --> 01:32:34,915 I decided one night that I was just gonna lose my virginity. 1341 01:32:34,917 --> 01:32:36,516 I didn't care who it was to. 1342 01:32:36,518 --> 01:32:39,085 - Julie, you gotta calm down. - Stop it. Let her talk. 1343 01:32:39,087 --> 01:32:42,122 I picked this guy that i didn't know at a party... 1344 01:32:42,124 --> 01:32:46,293 ...and we had fairly painful sex in his Van. 1345 01:32:46,295 --> 01:32:48,495 It was just parked on the street. 1346 01:32:48,497 --> 01:32:50,897 He just used spit for lubrication. 1347 01:32:53,635 --> 01:32:55,735 I made it home on time for curfew, though. 1348 01:32:55,737 --> 01:32:58,905 His carpet smelled like spilled bong water. 1349 01:33:04,045 --> 01:33:06,279 Okay, um... 1350 01:33:06,281 --> 01:33:08,615 ...let's call it a night. All right? 1351 01:33:08,617 --> 01:33:12,152 Thanks all for coming. Show's over, girls. 1352 01:33:12,154 --> 01:33:13,954 Thank you so much for coming. 1353 01:33:16,524 --> 01:33:18,892 Jamie, we need to talk. 1354 01:33:18,894 --> 01:33:21,595 There's a lot of stuff happening, right? 1355 01:33:21,597 --> 01:33:26,166 And I just would like to know what's going on with you. 1356 01:33:26,168 --> 01:33:30,604 I mean, I know this has all been a lot for us to deal with. 1357 01:33:30,606 --> 01:33:33,807 Mom, I'm dealing with everything right now. 1358 01:33:33,809 --> 01:33:36,509 You are dealing with nothing. 1359 01:33:49,423 --> 01:33:51,591 I can't believe you told everyone all that. 1360 01:33:52,827 --> 01:33:54,894 I can say what I want to say. 1361 01:33:56,998 --> 01:33:59,532 They're gonna think you're some-- 1362 01:33:59,534 --> 01:34:01,735 they're gonna get the wrong idea about you. 1363 01:34:01,737 --> 01:34:03,203 What? 1364 01:34:03,205 --> 01:34:04,871 That I'm a slut? 1365 01:34:07,274 --> 01:34:08,842 Is that what you think? 1366 01:34:13,047 --> 01:34:16,149 You can't sleep here anymore... 1367 01:34:16,151 --> 01:34:17,917 ...and just want to talk. 1368 01:34:21,889 --> 01:34:23,289 Really? 1369 01:34:25,993 --> 01:34:27,394 Yeah. 1370 01:34:30,965 --> 01:34:32,532 Jamie. 1371 01:34:37,838 --> 01:34:39,305 I'm sorry. 1372 01:34:43,644 --> 01:34:46,079 I am sorry, okay? 1373 01:34:50,484 --> 01:34:53,453 Let's-let's just get out of here. 1374 01:34:54,955 --> 01:34:58,725 Let's go up the coast like- like you said that we would. 1375 01:35:00,795 --> 01:35:02,595 Just the two of us. 1376 01:35:10,504 --> 01:35:12,839 Mom... 1377 01:35:12,841 --> 01:35:14,507 Julie and I took the car. 1378 01:35:16,544 --> 01:35:18,411 We're taking a trip up the coast... 1379 01:35:19,547 --> 01:35:21,414 ...just to get away. 1380 01:35:22,316 --> 01:35:24,117 You don't need to worry about us. 1381 01:36:22,309 --> 01:36:25,445 Hey, do you think that you could, um... 1382 01:36:25,447 --> 01:36:27,914 ...buy us some, like, wine coolers? 1383 01:36:27,916 --> 01:36:30,016 You can keep the change. 1384 01:36:30,018 --> 01:36:32,652 Strawberry or anything Berry, really. 1385 01:36:42,763 --> 01:36:44,130 Hi. What's the matter? 1386 01:36:44,132 --> 01:36:45,398 Hi. 1387 01:36:45,400 --> 01:36:48,468 You changed lanes in the intersection back there. 1388 01:36:48,470 --> 01:36:50,136 Seriously? That's all? 1389 01:36:51,071 --> 01:36:54,207 I need to see your license and registration. 1390 01:36:54,209 --> 01:36:56,776 Well, what if I don't have my license? 1391 01:36:58,412 --> 01:37:00,547 Okay, well what's your name, address and date of birth? 1392 01:37:00,549 --> 01:37:01,915 Do you have that? 1393 01:37:01,917 --> 01:37:04,350 You know, those are very personal questions, 1394 01:37:04,352 --> 01:37:06,319 and we've just met. 1395 01:37:06,321 --> 01:37:09,556 What's your name? What's your address, right? 1396 01:37:09,558 --> 01:37:12,091 I mean, it's a little forward. 1397 01:37:38,853 --> 01:37:41,287 I, uh, I love you. 1398 01:37:49,230 --> 01:37:50,730 What's wrong? 1399 01:37:51,599 --> 01:37:52,966 Nothing. 1400 01:37:57,771 --> 01:37:59,105 Tell me. 1401 01:38:04,945 --> 01:38:07,580 I think that I'm too close to you... 1402 01:38:08,682 --> 01:38:10,516 ...to have sex with you. 1403 01:38:13,053 --> 01:38:14,787 I know it's confusing. 1404 01:38:16,957 --> 01:38:18,191 I'm sorry. 1405 01:38:22,930 --> 01:38:24,264 I can... 1406 01:38:25,032 --> 01:38:26,499 ...i can help you get over that. 1407 01:38:29,837 --> 01:38:31,804 I don't want to get over that. 1408 01:38:34,642 --> 01:38:35,808 Yes, you do. 1409 01:38:37,611 --> 01:38:39,979 You're being like the other guys. 1410 01:38:39,981 --> 01:38:42,181 I don't wanna just have sex with you. 1411 01:38:43,117 --> 01:38:44,284 I want you. 1412 01:38:44,985 --> 01:38:47,053 But it's your version of me. 1413 01:38:49,089 --> 01:38:50,490 It's not me. 1414 01:38:52,593 --> 01:38:56,062 It would be a lot better if you just wanted sex. 1415 01:38:56,064 --> 01:38:58,965 You are exactly like the other guys. 1416 01:38:58,967 --> 01:39:01,367 You just seem like you're all modern. 1417 01:39:14,248 --> 01:39:15,815 Jamie. 1418 01:39:17,418 --> 01:39:18,851 Jamie. 1419 01:39:19,653 --> 01:39:21,187 Jamie! 1420 01:39:51,986 --> 01:39:54,787 These people have no sense of humor. 1421 01:40:12,973 --> 01:40:15,608 Having a kid seems like... 1422 01:40:17,011 --> 01:40:18,778 ...the hardest thing. 1423 01:40:20,481 --> 01:40:21,814 Yeah. 1424 01:40:23,384 --> 01:40:25,385 How much you love the kid... 1425 01:40:29,690 --> 01:40:32,392 You're just pretty much screwed. 1426 01:40:44,538 --> 01:40:46,639 - Well, it's good for you. - Hi. Uh... 1427 01:40:46,641 --> 01:40:47,507 Hey. 1428 01:40:48,642 --> 01:40:51,044 Julie just called me. They're in San Louis obispo. 1429 01:40:51,046 --> 01:40:52,512 She doesn't know where he is. 1430 01:40:52,514 --> 01:40:54,047 She can't find him. 1431 01:40:54,915 --> 01:40:57,216 I-- would you drive me... - Yes, I will. 1432 01:40:57,218 --> 01:40:58,718 - ...up there? - Yep. Let's go. 1433 01:40:58,720 --> 01:41:00,486 - Will you come? - Yes. 1434 01:41:45,065 --> 01:41:46,632 I'm sorry. 1435 01:41:51,438 --> 01:41:52,972 He came back. 1436 01:41:54,007 --> 01:41:55,808 He's right there. 1437 01:41:57,644 --> 01:42:00,213 Okay. Okay. 1438 01:42:04,184 --> 01:42:05,585 It's okay. 1439 01:42:28,342 --> 01:42:29,308 Well... 1440 01:42:30,144 --> 01:42:33,146 Julie's a pretty complicated woman. 1441 01:42:33,148 --> 01:42:34,881 It's a lot to take on, 1442 01:42:34,883 --> 01:42:36,849 but I'm impressed in a way. 1443 01:42:38,952 --> 01:42:40,286 Whatever. 1444 01:42:50,565 --> 01:42:52,698 Aren't you gonna get Julie... 1445 01:42:52,700 --> 01:42:54,467 ...to come talk with me? 1446 01:42:54,469 --> 01:42:55,902 Jamie! 1447 01:42:56,170 --> 01:42:57,603 What? 1448 01:42:57,605 --> 01:42:59,305 I-i thought they'd help. 1449 01:43:00,607 --> 01:43:04,277 Well, it just seemed like you couldn't deal with me anymore. 1450 01:43:06,413 --> 01:43:07,780 Look. 1451 01:43:08,549 --> 01:43:10,783 I wanted-- i-- 1452 01:43:10,785 --> 01:43:12,418 I... 1453 01:43:13,220 --> 01:43:14,587 Look, i-- 1454 01:43:15,889 --> 01:43:19,225 I don't want you to end up in the same place as me. 1455 01:43:21,695 --> 01:43:23,329 What does that mean? 1456 01:43:24,097 --> 01:43:26,632 Well, I wanted you to be happier. 1457 01:43:28,702 --> 01:43:31,370 And I just didn't think i could do it by myself. 1458 01:43:31,372 --> 01:43:32,772 I-- 1459 01:43:36,076 --> 01:43:37,510 okay. 1460 01:43:39,479 --> 01:43:42,615 I thought we were fine, though, just me and you. 1461 01:43:48,755 --> 01:43:50,122 Yeah? 1462 01:43:52,559 --> 01:43:53,926 Yeah. 1463 01:44:27,227 --> 01:44:28,995 Okay. Come on. 1464 01:44:28,997 --> 01:44:31,264 Come on. Dance with your mom. 1465 01:45:29,691 --> 01:45:31,223 - Bye. - Bye. 1466 01:45:31,225 --> 01:45:32,558 Bye. 1467 01:45:34,394 --> 01:45:35,661 - Be safe. - Bye. 1468 01:45:35,663 --> 01:45:37,463 Bye. Bye. 1469 01:45:46,940 --> 01:45:49,475 So maybe we don't go back yet. 1470 01:45:52,179 --> 01:45:53,479 Okay. 1471 01:46:03,690 --> 01:46:05,825 Were you and dad ever in love? 1472 01:46:06,493 --> 01:46:07,893 Sure. 1473 01:46:13,233 --> 01:46:14,967 Or, um... 1474 01:46:16,336 --> 01:46:19,672 Maybe I was just... 1475 01:46:19,674 --> 01:46:21,841 I felt I was supposed to be in love. 1476 01:46:22,843 --> 01:46:25,978 Or I was... 1477 01:46:25,980 --> 01:46:28,748 I was scared I'd never be in love... 1478 01:46:30,751 --> 01:46:32,852 ...so i-i... 1479 01:46:34,254 --> 01:46:37,189 ...i just picked the best solution at the time. 1480 01:46:48,101 --> 01:46:49,869 I wanna bleach my hair. 1481 01:46:50,470 --> 01:46:53,305 Kid... really? 1482 01:46:54,374 --> 01:46:55,775 Yeah. 1483 01:47:04,351 --> 01:47:05,718 Okay. 1484 01:47:10,791 --> 01:47:12,458 Are you lonely? 1485 01:47:13,593 --> 01:47:15,294 Well... 1486 01:47:15,296 --> 01:47:18,931 ...i might marry bogart in my next life. 1487 01:47:18,933 --> 01:47:20,132 We'll see. 1488 01:47:20,134 --> 01:47:22,334 I'm thinking about it. 1489 01:47:22,336 --> 01:47:24,503 Uh, he's dead. 1490 01:47:25,639 --> 01:47:27,106 Well... 1491 01:47:27,741 --> 01:47:30,009 This is my next life, right? 1492 01:47:30,011 --> 01:47:31,577 So... 1493 01:47:32,345 --> 01:47:33,679 ...he may be there. 1494 01:47:33,681 --> 01:47:36,882 He may be around and we might meet and... 1495 01:47:38,084 --> 01:47:40,753 ...something might happen between us. 1496 01:47:42,155 --> 01:47:44,356 Okay, um... 1497 01:47:45,392 --> 01:47:47,793 ...you can't have it in the real world? 1498 01:47:47,795 --> 01:47:50,796 Hey. This is no time to be rational, sweetie. 1499 01:47:50,798 --> 01:47:53,499 Can you just go with this? 1500 01:47:53,501 --> 01:47:55,034 Yeah. Keep going. 1501 01:47:55,036 --> 01:47:56,569 Okay. 1502 01:47:57,437 --> 01:48:00,873 So he-he knows what I'm thinking, 1503 01:48:00,875 --> 01:48:02,908 and he makes me laugh... 1504 01:48:04,010 --> 01:48:06,445 ...and he really sees me... 1505 01:48:07,848 --> 01:48:11,817 ...and you know that he's gonna do what he says he's gonna do, 1506 01:48:11,819 --> 01:48:14,286 so that's easy. 1507 01:48:15,188 --> 01:48:17,122 He sounds nice. 1508 01:48:18,291 --> 01:48:19,825 Yeah. 1509 01:48:27,134 --> 01:48:28,334 I thought that was just the beginning 1510 01:48:28,336 --> 01:48:31,070 of a new relationship with her... 1511 01:48:31,072 --> 01:48:32,471 ..Where she'd really tell me stuff... 1512 01:48:36,676 --> 01:48:39,545 ...but maybe it was never really like that again. 1513 01:48:41,081 --> 01:48:42,882 Maybe that was it. 1514 01:48:44,618 --> 01:48:47,019 N march of 1999, 1515 01:48:47,021 --> 01:48:50,356 I'll start to feel tired and confused. 1516 01:48:50,358 --> 01:48:52,157 When I finally go to the doctor, 1517 01:48:52,159 --> 01:48:54,827 he will say that the cancer in my lungs 1518 01:48:54,829 --> 01:48:59,265 had already traveled to my breast and brain. 1519 01:48:59,267 --> 01:49:02,234 I'll try to teach Jamie what to do with my stocks, 1520 01:49:02,236 --> 01:49:07,273 but my instructions will be impossible to understand. 1521 01:49:11,811 --> 01:49:13,412 See you later. 1522 01:49:19,886 --> 01:49:23,789 Abbie will take me to planned parenthood... 1523 01:49:23,791 --> 01:49:25,758 ...and I will go on the pill. 1524 01:49:29,696 --> 01:49:31,797 I will go to nyu 1525 01:49:31,799 --> 01:49:35,467 and lose touch with Jamie and dorothea... 1526 01:49:35,469 --> 01:49:38,003 ...and I will stop talking to my mom. 1527 01:49:39,372 --> 01:49:42,341 I will fall in love with Nicholas... 1528 01:49:42,343 --> 01:49:44,310 ...and we'll move to Paris... 1529 01:49:45,345 --> 01:49:47,846 ...and choose not to have children. 1530 01:49:49,584 --> 01:49:52,251 I will stay in Santa Barbara. 1531 01:49:52,253 --> 01:49:55,955 In just two years, I'll marry Dave. 1532 01:49:55,957 --> 01:49:58,257 A month after I get married, 1533 01:49:58,259 --> 01:50:00,225 carlotta will die. 1534 01:50:02,395 --> 01:50:06,231 A week later, Max will die, too. 1535 01:50:07,767 --> 01:50:09,602 I will work out of my garage 1536 01:50:09,604 --> 01:50:12,338 and show in local galleries. 1537 01:50:13,440 --> 01:50:15,341 Against my doctor's advice, 1538 01:50:15,343 --> 01:50:17,343 I will get pregnant. 1539 01:50:17,345 --> 01:50:19,211 By the time I'm 34, 1540 01:50:19,213 --> 01:50:21,647 I'll have two boys. 1541 01:50:25,119 --> 01:50:27,586 I'll live with dorothea for another year... 1542 01:50:29,990 --> 01:50:34,426 ...and then I'll open a pottery store in sedona, Arizona. 1543 01:50:37,330 --> 01:50:40,366 I'll marry Laurie, a singer-songwriter. 1544 01:50:40,368 --> 01:50:43,002 We'll get divorced in a year. 1545 01:50:43,004 --> 01:50:45,337 Then I'll meet Sandy... 1546 01:50:45,339 --> 01:50:47,873 ...and continue to do my pottery. 1547 01:50:50,211 --> 01:50:54,046 My mom will meet Jim in 1983. 1548 01:50:54,048 --> 01:50:57,383 They will stay a couple until she dies. 1549 01:50:57,385 --> 01:50:59,485 On her birthday each year, 1550 01:50:59,487 --> 01:51:02,454 he will buy her a trip on a biplane. 1551 01:51:05,091 --> 01:51:07,493 Years after she's gone, I will finally get married 1552 01:51:07,495 --> 01:51:09,395 and have a son. 1553 01:51:11,164 --> 01:51:12,865 I will try to explain to him 1554 01:51:12,867 --> 01:51:15,034 what his grandmother was like... 1555 01:51:16,369 --> 01:51:18,671 ...but it will be impossible.