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Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
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Hey, man. Can I get
two vodka sodas, please?
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Sure.
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Thank you.
You know what?
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Go ahead and keep that
for yourself, all right?
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Oh, thanks, man.
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Yeah, I can't wait
to meet you, too, Madison.
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Oh, those babies are legit.
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Jeremy?
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Uh, no, sorry.
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- But this is you, isn't it?
- Well, yeah,
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- but you can't be...
- Yeah, Madison.
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Yeah, I am.
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Joke! Oh, my God.
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- You should see your face.
- Oh, my God.
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- No, obviously I'm not her.
- Okay. Oh, man.
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- No. 'Course I'm not Madison.
- Thank Christ!
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Because honestly
I was shitting myself there.
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I mean, no offense.
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Oh, none taken.
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It's really risky
meeting people online.
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You never know if people
are gonna be as ugly
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on the outside
as they are on the inside.
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- Yeah, right, exactly.
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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I'm sorry,
is Madison on her way?
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Uh, no, no, no.
Madison's not coming.
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What? Why?
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Well, she sent me to see
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if you were truly
in love with her
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and clearly you're not,
so goodbye, Jeremy.
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Wait! No, no, no, wait.
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Of course I love her.
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I have been texting with her
for, like, a frigging month!
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This is the girl that I'm
gonna let keep my babies
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and I will pay her
her due child support.
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I will visit
every other weekend
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and say hi to the kids
and put 'em on my lap
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and whatever you do, okay?
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That is how much I love her.
I swear to Christ!
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00:02:37,398 --> 00:02:40,096
But can you love
her birth defect?
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'Course I can.
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I mean,
it's on the inside, right?
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Like, it's in her brain
or in her heart?
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When Madison was born,
she was born with A cups.
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- No, but her photos, they...
- Yeah.
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What you're looking at there
is expert contouring
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and well-placed
chicken cutlets.
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She's really a double-A,
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if I'm gonna be, like,
honest with you.
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00:03:01,998 --> 00:03:03,830
A triple-A in some brands.
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Basically, if her tits
were batteries,
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they'd go into a watch.
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That's why she didn't
wanna come here
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00:03:08,664 --> 00:03:41,171
and meet you in real life.
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Well, not until she has
the boob job, anyways.
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00:03:43,374 --> 00:03:44,770
Wait, she's getting
a boob job?
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When is that happening, then?
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00:03:46,140 --> 00:03:47,572
- In a year.
- A year?
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Well, silicone doesn't
just grow on trees.
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- She has to save up.
- Well, how much does she need?
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Just, like, $300.
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500 if she's gonna
go full bouncy castle.
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Okay.
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You know what?
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Tell her I'll give her
the $500.
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00:04:01,374 --> 00:04:02,805
I just want her to be happy.
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00:04:02,807 --> 00:04:05,471
- That is so selfless of you.
- I know.
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00:04:05,473 --> 00:04:07,104
Do you prefer Venmo or PayPal?
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00:04:07,106 --> 00:04:08,271
Venmo's fine.
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00:04:08,273 --> 00:04:10,538
That's her!
The fake tit-job bitch!
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Get her!
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00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:12,871
I needed a new scene anyway.
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00:04:12,873 --> 00:04:14,038
She stole
my money, man!
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00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:16,040
Move!
Out of my way, come on!
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00:04:17,306 --> 00:04:18,972
Hey, where do I send
the money?
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Go!
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Hey, stop that woman!
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00:04:25,940 --> 00:04:27,973
Hey, you! Stop!
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Go after her! Quick!
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You let her get away!
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00:04:40,272 --> 00:04:43,871
Well, at least we didn't
give her $500 first! Idiot.
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Trashy dress,
you did it again.
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Hmph!
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Begone!
You French women are bad luck!
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And shave your armpits.
Please.
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00:06:55,273 --> 00:06:56,805
Well, come on, deal again!
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00:06:56,807 --> 00:06:59,507
Our apologies, monsieur,
but you are out of credit.
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00:07:02,206 --> 00:07:04,773
Hold on,
I may have a solution.
89
00:07:05,638 --> 00:07:07,137
How's this for credit?
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00:07:07,139 --> 00:07:09,438
It's beautiful, monsieur.
But I cannot accept it.
91
00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:10,503
Why the hell not?
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00:07:10,505 --> 00:07:11,805
I'm afraid
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rumor has it that you are
selling your wife's jewels
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00:07:14,107 --> 00:07:15,505
to bankroll
your gambling debts.
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That is an outrageous slur!
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00:07:28,773 --> 00:07:31,504
Hey. Whiskey.
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00:07:31,506 --> 00:07:33,171
Uh, excuse me? Excuse me?
98
00:07:33,173 --> 00:07:35,205
How much
are the red ones worth?
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00:07:35,207 --> 00:07:37,604
- Uh, one thousand.
- And the blue ones?
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00:07:37,606 --> 00:07:39,604
Five thousand.
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00:07:39,606 --> 00:07:41,604
I love that game
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with the wheel and the ball
and the numbers.
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I don't even really know
how to play.
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Hello.
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00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,139
Uh, hello.
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00:07:48,141 --> 00:07:51,871
My name is Mathias Albrecht
von Rüdinger der Kleinzogen
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Hindenburg-an-Sohr.
And you are?
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- Janet.
- Janet.
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What an enchanting name.
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00:07:56,006 --> 00:07:57,870
You're American, yes?
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- Yes.
- I'm Danish.
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Like the pastry?
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00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:04,104
Yeah. Yeah.
114
00:08:04,106 --> 00:08:05,671
So, what brings you
to the South of France?
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00:08:05,673 --> 00:08:06,673
An airplane.
116
00:08:07,506 --> 00:08:09,305
Yes, and why are you here?
117
00:08:09,307 --> 00:08:11,304
Oh. Well, um...
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I thought
I would treat myself.
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00:08:13,774 --> 00:08:15,338
I just won some money
in the lottery.
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00:08:15,340 --> 00:08:17,470
Wow. How much did you win?
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$87 million!
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00:08:20,473 --> 00:08:21,804
I'm sorry,
I don't speak foreign.
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00:08:21,806 --> 00:08:22,807
Janet...
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I have something in my pants
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that I think
you're going to like.
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00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:28,473
- Ew.
- No, no, no.
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This.
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00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:32,805
Oh.
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00:08:32,807 --> 00:08:34,470
This belonged to my dear mama.
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- May I?
- Yes.
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Sadly, I have to sell it,
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'cause it reminds me
too much of her.
133
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Is it valuable?
134
00:08:40,973 --> 00:08:43,804
It's very valuable, yes.
$500,000.
135
00:08:43,806 --> 00:08:45,638
I like it 'cause it's shiny.
136
00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:47,437
And you're in luck.
It's for sale.
137
00:08:47,439 --> 00:08:48,941
That's crazy. I...
138
00:08:49,706 --> 00:08:51,871
Do I have enough here?
139
00:08:51,873 --> 00:08:54,504
- How much is this worth?
- That is a coaster.
140
00:08:54,506 --> 00:08:56,304
And sadly, no, you don't.
141
00:08:56,306 --> 00:09:00,207
But maybe you could pay
the difference in another way?
142
00:09:01,706 --> 00:09:04,504
I have a 9:00
dinner reservation.
143
00:09:04,506 --> 00:09:05,972
As do I.
144
00:09:05,974 --> 00:09:08,440
Well, I have my reputation
to think of.
145
00:09:08,940 --> 00:09:10,604
As do I.
146
00:09:10,606 --> 00:09:12,204
I have a boyfriend.
147
00:09:12,206 --> 00:09:13,671
As do I.
148
00:09:13,673 --> 00:09:14,771
Freeze!
149
00:09:14,773 --> 00:09:15,972
Inspector Desjardins
150
00:09:15,974 --> 00:09:18,104
of Beaumont-Sur-Mer police.
Get up.
151
00:09:18,106 --> 00:09:20,037
Okay.
Who sent you? My wife?
152
00:09:20,039 --> 00:09:21,171
Do you take bribes?
153
00:09:21,173 --> 00:09:22,604
Not you. Her.
154
00:09:22,606 --> 00:09:24,871
- She is under arrest.
- What?
155
00:09:24,873 --> 00:09:29,206
Those chips were stolen
from this pathetic old man.
156
00:09:29,208 --> 00:09:32,037
This woman is
an international con artist.
157
00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:34,271
No, no, no.
She's just a dumb American.
158
00:09:34,273 --> 00:09:36,705
No, it's true.
She lured this man
159
00:09:36,707 --> 00:09:38,537
with the promise
of a private performance
160
00:09:38,539 --> 00:09:41,004
of her college
gymnastics routine.
161
00:09:41,006 --> 00:09:42,107
Here.
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00:09:44,506 --> 00:09:45,671
Hmm?
163
00:09:45,673 --> 00:09:46,907
Now,
give back the bracelet.
164
00:10:05,140 --> 00:10:07,338
It would take
an expert to spot the fake.
165
00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:08,674
- Or his wife.
- Hmm.
166
00:10:09,439 --> 00:10:11,040
Thank you, Albert,
167
00:10:11,806 --> 00:10:13,603
for everything.
168
00:10:13,605 --> 00:10:16,138
Excellent research, Brigitte.
The mark was perfect.
169
00:10:16,140 --> 00:10:17,271
As you always say...
170
00:10:17,273 --> 00:10:19,671
You can't cheat an honest man.
171
00:10:19,673 --> 00:10:21,371
Now, I have a buyer in Zurich,
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00:10:21,373 --> 00:10:23,340
so I shall see you
in a few days. Au revoir.
173
00:10:40,873 --> 00:10:42,171
- Oh.
- Oh!
174
00:10:44,472 --> 00:10:45,874
Sorry. Comin' through.
175
00:10:49,639 --> 00:10:51,137
I'll take the filet mignon.
176
00:10:51,139 --> 00:10:52,306
Very good, sir.
177
00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,339
Is this seat taken?
178
00:10:59,773 --> 00:11:01,072
I'm starving.
179
00:11:01,074 --> 00:11:03,839
I could murder a triple
cheeseburger right now.
180
00:11:03,841 --> 00:11:04,841
Or...
181
00:11:10,373 --> 00:11:13,172
I'll just get
a glass of water, please.
182
00:11:13,174 --> 00:11:15,605
- Is that all, madam?
- Yeah, that's it.
183
00:11:15,607 --> 00:11:18,307
I'll just help myself
to the sugar packets.
184
00:11:19,206 --> 00:11:20,371
They're free, right?
185
00:11:20,373 --> 00:11:21,841
- Yes.
- Yeah.
186
00:11:26,141 --> 00:11:27,340
Mmm.
187
00:11:32,405 --> 00:11:33,938
That'll fill me up.
188
00:11:33,940 --> 00:11:35,370
I've to save all my money
189
00:11:35,372 --> 00:11:36,839
'cause I'm here
to find my sister.
190
00:11:36,841 --> 00:11:38,007
This is her.
191
00:11:39,474 --> 00:11:41,303
- That is your sister?
- Half-sister.
192
00:11:41,305 --> 00:11:42,738
But we're like sisters.
193
00:11:42,740 --> 00:11:44,337
- What's happened to her?
- She's been taken.
194
00:11:44,339 --> 00:11:45,538
Taken? Like...
195
00:11:45,540 --> 00:11:48,872
Like by men who sell
hot white virgins
196
00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:51,172
to evil, bearded
kajillionaires on yachts.
197
00:11:51,174 --> 00:11:52,938
- Really?
- The whole irony is,
198
00:11:52,940 --> 00:11:54,471
it was her friend she was with
199
00:11:54,473 --> 00:11:56,071
who was the massive slut.
Tiffany.
200
00:11:56,073 --> 00:11:57,405
Tiffany is the slut?
201
00:11:57,407 --> 00:12:00,305
So, I roughed up these guys,
and they said to me,
202
00:12:00,307 --> 00:12:04,038
"Premium-grade Australian
meat on auction tomorrow."
203
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:06,138
That fits my sister's
description perfectly,
204
00:12:06,140 --> 00:12:07,604
- don't you think?
- Yes.
205
00:12:07,606 --> 00:12:09,371
So, I'm gonna get on that boat
and buy her back.
206
00:12:09,373 --> 00:12:12,271
Look, I am very moved
by your story.
207
00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:14,203
- Order anything you like.
- No, no, no.
208
00:12:14,205 --> 00:12:15,303
- Please, no?
- No!
209
00:12:15,305 --> 00:12:16,805
- Please, no?
- No, I couldn't.
210
00:12:16,807 --> 00:12:18,306
Please, I insist.
211
00:12:20,539 --> 00:12:23,636
I'll have a club sandwich,
and an order of fries,
212
00:12:23,638 --> 00:12:25,138
order of onion rings,
213
00:12:25,140 --> 00:12:29,139
I'll take the shrimp cocktail.
Is that good? How fresh is it?
214
00:12:29,141 --> 00:12:32,104
What's the soup of the day?
Is it cold? 'Cause, ew, gross.
215
00:12:32,106 --> 00:12:34,105
That's disgusting.
Why have cold soup?
216
00:12:34,107 --> 00:12:35,504
Just give me a Caesar salad.
217
00:12:35,506 --> 00:12:37,371
And then two slices of cake.
218
00:12:37,373 --> 00:12:39,105
- Do you want any cake?
- No.
219
00:12:39,107 --> 00:12:40,503
Three slices of cake
and a Diet Coke.
220
00:12:40,505 --> 00:12:41,673
Thank you.
221
00:12:45,672 --> 00:12:47,538
Will this
be satisfactory, miss?
222
00:12:47,540 --> 00:12:48,638
Yes, this will do.
223
00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:50,204
Once again, I apologize
224
00:12:50,206 --> 00:12:51,770
for the flickering lights
in coach.
225
00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:53,973
Epilepsy is a cruel mistress.
226
00:12:56,106 --> 00:12:57,239
Thank you.
227
00:13:02,140 --> 00:13:04,141
- Hey.
- Hello.
228
00:13:08,472 --> 00:13:11,039
Forgive me, but I couldn't
help but overhear
229
00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:12,805
your conversation
in the dining car.
230
00:13:12,807 --> 00:13:14,337
- My condolences.
- Hmm?
231
00:13:14,339 --> 00:13:16,604
About your sister's
treacherous predicament.
232
00:13:16,606 --> 00:13:17,941
Oh. She'll be all right.
233
00:13:23,338 --> 00:13:24,972
Hmm.
234
00:13:24,974 --> 00:13:26,303
Do you mind if I ask
235
00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:28,604
how long your sister's been
held against her will?
236
00:13:28,606 --> 00:13:30,438
Oh. Listen, um...
237
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:31,804
Josephine Chesterfield.
238
00:13:31,806 --> 00:13:33,037
Penny Rust.
239
00:13:33,039 --> 00:13:34,136
Delighted.
240
00:13:34,138 --> 00:13:35,670
Eh, what's up?
241
00:13:35,672 --> 00:13:38,204
Uh, listen, I think this is
gonna be a really long ride
242
00:13:38,206 --> 00:13:40,672
and clearly you're, like,
an exhausting person.
243
00:13:40,674 --> 00:13:42,338
So, I'm just gonna say this.
244
00:13:42,340 --> 00:13:44,170
I don't even have a sister.
245
00:13:44,172 --> 00:13:46,171
Are you saying
you lied to that man?
246
00:13:46,173 --> 00:13:48,071
I don't wanna
say it too loudly.
247
00:13:48,073 --> 00:13:49,840
I'm a con artist.
248
00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:52,305
I con.
249
00:13:52,307 --> 00:13:54,103
But that man
was so kind to you,
250
00:13:54,105 --> 00:13:55,370
and he bought your dinner.
251
00:13:55,372 --> 00:13:58,004
Only after I showed him
a picture of a hot chick.
252
00:13:58,006 --> 00:13:59,838
See, women have feelings.
253
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:03,506
So, like, you just
had sympathy or pity,
254
00:14:04,607 --> 00:14:06,604
or, I don't know,
the other feeling
255
00:14:06,606 --> 00:14:10,005
and men see that quality in us
and exploit us.
256
00:14:10,007 --> 00:14:12,338
So all I'm doin' is, like...
257
00:14:12,340 --> 00:14:15,436
♪ Put that thing down
Flip it and reverse it ♪
258
00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:17,471
And then I'm now
exploiting them.
259
00:14:17,473 --> 00:14:19,538
Are there many women
in your industry?
260
00:14:19,540 --> 00:14:21,970
Uh... Sisters in arms,
as it were?
261
00:14:21,972 --> 00:14:25,038
Well, not at my level, no.
262
00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:26,871
Yes, clearly you're in a class
of your own.
263
00:14:26,873 --> 00:14:28,938
Oh! Except,
of course there's Medusa.
264
00:14:28,940 --> 00:14:30,004
Oh?
265
00:14:30,006 --> 00:14:31,704
She's like the O.G. lady
con artist.
266
00:14:31,706 --> 00:14:33,571
People say she could
freeze a man's assets
267
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:34,937
with just one look.
268
00:14:34,939 --> 00:14:36,604
Well...
269
00:14:36,606 --> 00:14:39,638
My horizons have certainly
been expanded this evening.
270
00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:41,338
Where will the wind
take you next?
271
00:14:41,340 --> 00:14:43,638
I'm going to this town
on the Med,
272
00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:44,872
Beaumont-Sur-Mer.
273
00:14:44,874 --> 00:14:47,771
Get this, apparently it's
crawling with rich dudes.
274
00:14:47,773 --> 00:14:49,436
Well, I'm afraid
you've been misinformed.
275
00:14:49,438 --> 00:14:52,169
You see,
I live in Beaumont-Sur-Mer
276
00:14:52,171 --> 00:14:54,436
and I think you'll find
it's a lesbian community.
277
00:14:54,438 --> 00:14:56,005
- Really?
- Oh, yes.
278
00:14:56,007 --> 00:14:57,937
Honestly, you'd do better
staying on to Portofino.
279
00:14:57,939 --> 00:15:00,537
Well, maybe I could
work a woman.
280
00:15:00,539 --> 00:15:01,804
I don't know how you...
281
00:15:01,806 --> 00:15:03,537
Yeah, I could give it a go.
282
00:15:03,539 --> 00:15:05,673
But isn't your philosophy
based on exploiting men?
283
00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:08,937
Penny? Penny.
284
00:15:08,939 --> 00:15:10,971
Sorry, were you... Sorry.
285
00:15:10,973 --> 00:15:13,772
I was just playing this game
on my phone.
286
00:15:13,774 --> 00:15:15,871
Yes, of course.
287
00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:17,137
I just have to call my mother
288
00:15:17,139 --> 00:15:18,939
to let them know
what time to expect me.
289
00:15:18,941 --> 00:15:19,907
Please.
290
00:15:30,206 --> 00:15:31,638
So, do you have
a car here?
291
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:33,037
I do.
292
00:15:33,039 --> 00:15:35,170
Oh, great. Do you mind if I,
like, scab a lift off you?
293
00:15:35,172 --> 00:15:36,270
What?
294
00:15:36,272 --> 00:15:37,771
You leaving the party already?
295
00:15:37,773 --> 00:15:39,373
Afraid so. Cheerio.
296
00:15:43,139 --> 00:15:44,538
Penny?
297
00:15:44,540 --> 00:15:46,770
Did you say Portofino
was the next stop?
298
00:15:46,772 --> 00:15:49,538
Yo, Portofino is
going to be turnt!
299
00:15:52,841 --> 00:15:54,371
What?
300
00:15:54,373 --> 00:15:56,771
I don't know
what you just said,
301
00:15:56,773 --> 00:15:58,170
but the answer is oui.
302
00:16:23,672 --> 00:16:25,504
How was last night?
303
00:16:25,506 --> 00:16:27,338
It was all I could arrange
on such short notice.
304
00:16:27,340 --> 00:16:30,171
Jean and Lil Baguette
were perfect.
305
00:16:30,173 --> 00:16:31,805
May I ask the reason
for their involvement?
306
00:16:31,807 --> 00:16:33,705
I encountered
a sort of pale gypsy
307
00:16:33,707 --> 00:16:35,604
who thought herself
something of a grifter.
308
00:16:35,606 --> 00:16:37,505
Surely she was
no match for you?
309
00:16:37,507 --> 00:16:40,003
Hmm, one can never be
too careful, Brigitte.
310
00:16:40,005 --> 00:16:41,537
A poacher
who shoots at rabbits
311
00:16:41,539 --> 00:16:43,303
may scare big game away.
312
00:16:43,305 --> 00:16:44,936
Speaking of...
313
00:16:44,938 --> 00:16:48,471
Next we have Gregor Gregorsky.
314
00:16:48,473 --> 00:16:50,637
Made his fortune
in office supplies,
315
00:16:50,639 --> 00:16:52,471
married four times.
316
00:16:52,473 --> 00:16:54,171
He's a romantic.
317
00:16:54,173 --> 00:16:58,506
And he should be arriving...
now.
318
00:17:05,373 --> 00:17:06,971
Who is that with him?
319
00:17:06,973 --> 00:17:10,971
You must save your beautiful
sister before she is defiled.
320
00:17:10,973 --> 00:17:13,104
I know,
'cause once she is defiled,
321
00:17:13,106 --> 00:17:15,204
she's, like, less special,
don't you reckon?
322
00:17:15,206 --> 00:17:16,206
Brigitte.
323
00:17:16,873 --> 00:17:18,704
Right away.
324
00:17:18,706 --> 00:17:24,271
Gregor, you have no idea
what this money will do.
325
00:17:24,273 --> 00:17:25,404
Hit it, Marcel!
326
00:17:27,305 --> 00:17:29,206
I'm flying!
327
00:17:30,540 --> 00:17:31,807
Oh, shit!
328
00:17:35,339 --> 00:17:36,437
Hey!
329
00:17:52,973 --> 00:17:54,807
Merci.
330
00:17:55,607 --> 00:17:56,837
Mmm, mmm.
331
00:17:56,839 --> 00:17:59,206
All right.
Let's go, boys, one more time!
332
00:18:13,705 --> 00:18:15,371
You want to press charges?
333
00:18:15,373 --> 00:18:16,604
Da.
334
00:18:16,606 --> 00:18:19,407
Her sister is probably
not even virgin.
335
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:30,503
He gave me the money!
336
00:18:30,505 --> 00:18:32,540
What laws
have I actually broken?
337
00:18:37,206 --> 00:18:38,207
Oh.
338
00:18:40,607 --> 00:18:42,672
Contraction. Mmm.
339
00:18:42,674 --> 00:18:45,474
The stress
is not good for the baby.
340
00:18:46,205 --> 00:18:47,673
Ooh, my little baby.
341
00:18:49,303 --> 00:18:49,771
Ooh.
342
00:18:49,773 --> 00:18:51,238
We are a tight-knit community
343
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:52,836
in Beaumont-Sur-Mer,
mademoiselle.
344
00:18:52,838 --> 00:18:55,104
We do not want your kind here.
345
00:18:55,106 --> 00:18:56,073
What?
346
00:18:57,207 --> 00:18:59,070
Oh, yeah, yeah, right, yeah.
347
00:18:59,072 --> 00:19:02,970
I've heard about
your little community.
348
00:19:02,972 --> 00:19:05,873
And that's...
That's actually why I came.
349
00:19:07,839 --> 00:19:11,437
To do some, like,
experimenting.
350
00:19:11,439 --> 00:19:12,503
You know...
351
00:19:12,505 --> 00:19:13,573
Ooh!
352
00:19:16,006 --> 00:19:17,207
Ooh.
353
00:19:20,540 --> 00:19:22,207
Oh, no, wrong thing.
354
00:19:23,306 --> 00:19:25,170
Inspector?
355
00:19:25,172 --> 00:19:27,373
Don't you think we can just
work something out?
356
00:19:29,439 --> 00:19:31,272
Just between us girls?
357
00:19:35,207 --> 00:19:37,307
I don't date pregnant women.
358
00:19:42,539 --> 00:19:44,705
Oh, wait! Actually, um,
I know somebody here!
359
00:19:44,707 --> 00:19:46,771
You know someone
in Beaumont-Sur-Mer?
360
00:19:46,773 --> 00:19:48,472
Yeah, yeah.
I bet you'd know her, too.
361
00:19:48,474 --> 00:19:51,136
She's, like, really rich,
really important.
362
00:19:51,138 --> 00:19:54,004
She looks like a librarian's
corpse, only less lively.
363
00:19:54,006 --> 00:19:56,137
She would have
your ass for this.
364
00:19:56,139 --> 00:19:57,538
Oh, I see.
365
00:19:57,540 --> 00:19:58,803
What's her name?
366
00:19:58,805 --> 00:20:00,005
- Oh, her name...
- Mmm-hmm?
367
00:20:02,272 --> 00:20:04,440
...is Joanna...
368
00:20:05,105 --> 00:20:06,170
Regina.
369
00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:09,373
Regina Charleston.
370
00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:13,006
It's Charlotte...
371
00:20:13,539 --> 00:20:16,169
Pemberton.
372
00:20:16,171 --> 00:20:18,373
It's Pamela. Pernilla.
373
00:20:19,173 --> 00:20:21,270
Pendy Simmons.
374
00:20:21,272 --> 00:20:23,204
No, wait, it's...
375
00:20:23,206 --> 00:20:24,803
Janet Maxfield.
376
00:20:24,805 --> 00:20:26,637
Ha! Charlotte Josephson.
377
00:20:26,639 --> 00:20:28,171
Josephine Chesterfield?
378
00:20:28,173 --> 00:20:29,937
Yeah, that is her!
379
00:20:29,939 --> 00:20:31,671
We should...
We should call her.
380
00:20:31,673 --> 00:20:33,803
Get her on the line.
381
00:20:33,805 --> 00:20:36,605
Tell her to
set me free, please!
382
00:20:41,006 --> 00:20:45,037
Penny, the charges against you
aren't very serious,
383
00:20:45,039 --> 00:20:46,637
but it appears
Inspector Desjardins
384
00:20:46,639 --> 00:20:48,873
is keeping you here
for your own protection.
385
00:20:49,872 --> 00:20:51,304
From what?
386
00:20:51,306 --> 00:20:52,537
The man you swindled
387
00:20:52,539 --> 00:20:54,304
is a prominent figure
of the Russian mafia.
388
00:20:54,306 --> 00:20:55,370
Shit.
389
00:20:55,372 --> 00:20:56,471
If you were to be released,
390
00:20:56,473 --> 00:20:57,770
you would
most certainly be killed,
391
00:20:57,772 --> 00:20:58,903
or worse.
392
00:20:58,905 --> 00:21:00,470
Well, there has to be
another option!
393
00:21:00,472 --> 00:21:02,170
One moment.
394
00:21:11,472 --> 00:21:12,473
Oui.
395
00:21:14,805 --> 00:21:17,373
Penny, what do you have on you
by way of liquidity?
396
00:21:17,839 --> 00:21:19,537
Uh...
397
00:21:19,539 --> 00:21:23,303
I think I have a travel-size
K-Y Jelly in my bag.
398
00:21:23,305 --> 00:21:24,669
It's peach-flavored.
399
00:21:24,671 --> 00:21:27,836
Cash, Penny. How much cash
do you have at your disposal?
400
00:21:27,838 --> 00:21:32,370
I have about 10 or 8...
Yeah, $8,000.
401
00:21:32,372 --> 00:21:34,870
That might be enough to get you out
of the country, but you must promise
402
00:21:34,872 --> 00:21:37,804
never ever,
under any circumstances,
403
00:21:37,806 --> 00:21:39,771
to come back
to Beaumont-Sur-Mer
404
00:21:39,773 --> 00:21:41,338
ever again.
405
00:21:41,340 --> 00:21:43,271
- Pinky promise.
- Hold on, Penny.
406
00:21:43,273 --> 00:21:45,507
The nightmare is almost over.
407
00:21:47,838 --> 00:21:50,371
Hey, listen,
408
00:21:50,373 --> 00:21:52,803
- I may have been a bit of bitch when we first met.
- Oh.
409
00:21:52,805 --> 00:21:54,837
And when I talked about you
behind your back.
410
00:21:54,839 --> 00:21:56,440
- Hmm?
- And when I posted this.
411
00:21:59,006 --> 00:22:00,604
- Huh.
- But you did me a solid
412
00:22:00,606 --> 00:22:01,771
getting me out of jail,
413
00:22:01,773 --> 00:22:04,272
so I think
you're a pretty top chick.
414
00:22:06,607 --> 00:22:09,170
Try to be as inconspicuous
as possible.
415
00:22:09,172 --> 00:22:10,703
I know it's difficult for you,
416
00:22:10,705 --> 00:22:14,107
but it's better to go
unnoticed by Gregor's henchmen.
417
00:22:19,772 --> 00:22:21,703
Au revoir.
418
00:22:21,705 --> 00:22:24,307
Well, I don't get
what that means.
419
00:22:29,305 --> 00:22:31,706
Yo, I'm just gonna
blend in with you guys.
420
00:23:04,539 --> 00:23:06,004
Hey.
421
00:23:06,006 --> 00:23:07,303
Oh!
422
00:23:07,305 --> 00:23:09,271
Dude! What are you...
423
00:23:09,273 --> 00:23:11,703
You can't just sneak up
on a lady like that!
424
00:23:14,439 --> 00:23:17,040
Hmm. You're not
really my type...
425
00:23:19,706 --> 00:23:21,337
But the pilot's busy, so...
426
00:23:28,340 --> 00:23:29,472
Let's just make this quick.
427
00:23:29,474 --> 00:23:31,203
I feel like they're about
to serve the meal.
428
00:23:31,205 --> 00:23:32,604
- Where is it?
- What?
429
00:23:32,606 --> 00:23:33,670
Where is it?
430
00:23:33,672 --> 00:23:35,603
Hey...
431
00:23:35,605 --> 00:23:38,304
Nazi Gollum, you're gonna
have to speak more clearly.
432
00:23:38,306 --> 00:23:39,971
- Where is it?
- What?
433
00:23:39,973 --> 00:23:43,104
I saw you talking with her
in the airport.
434
00:23:43,106 --> 00:23:44,437
Josephine?
435
00:23:44,439 --> 00:23:45,536
Is that her real name?
436
00:23:45,538 --> 00:23:47,303
- Are you with her?
- Um...
437
00:23:47,305 --> 00:23:50,038
No, I think maybe
the police chick is?
438
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:51,504
They could just be friends.
439
00:23:51,506 --> 00:23:53,171
I don't know.
It's hard to tell nowadays.
440
00:23:53,173 --> 00:23:54,803
So, the police woman's
part of it?
441
00:23:54,805 --> 00:23:56,840
- Part of what?
- The hustle!
442
00:23:57,439 --> 00:23:58,502
Hmm?
443
00:23:58,504 --> 00:24:00,670
She stole my wife's
diamond bracelet!
444
00:24:00,672 --> 00:24:02,140
It's worth
half a million dollars!
445
00:24:04,373 --> 00:24:05,603
Shit the bed.
446
00:24:05,605 --> 00:24:08,104
And now my wife
is filing for divorce.
447
00:24:08,106 --> 00:24:09,938
Are you working
with her or not?
448
00:24:09,940 --> 00:24:11,136
No! No, no.
449
00:24:12,639 --> 00:24:13,870
Um...
450
00:24:13,872 --> 00:24:17,338
No, I'm actually
working for ASSES.
451
00:24:17,340 --> 00:24:18,404
What?
452
00:24:18,406 --> 00:24:20,604
ASSES? Have you not
heard of that?
453
00:24:20,606 --> 00:24:25,602
It's the, um,
Australian Securities Services
454
00:24:25,604 --> 00:24:29,305
Intelligently Spying.
455
00:24:29,307 --> 00:24:31,937
- Don't you mean ASIO?
- No.
456
00:24:31,939 --> 00:24:33,271
No, they're wankers.
457
00:24:33,273 --> 00:24:34,337
ASSES.
458
00:24:34,339 --> 00:24:35,669
It's the place to be.
459
00:24:35,671 --> 00:24:37,671
And I'm deep, deep,
deep in ASSES.
460
00:24:37,673 --> 00:24:39,537
I'm trying to
bring her to justice.
461
00:24:39,539 --> 00:24:40,870
- Okay, good.
- Yeah.
462
00:24:40,872 --> 00:24:42,504
Good. How can I help?
463
00:24:42,506 --> 00:24:44,103
Well, sir, um...
464
00:24:44,105 --> 00:24:46,671
I believe we should
start by having sex
465
00:24:46,673 --> 00:24:47,839
as a cover.
466
00:24:55,973 --> 00:24:56,940
What was that?
467
00:24:58,205 --> 00:24:59,769
I have standards.
468
00:24:59,771 --> 00:25:01,371
As do I.
469
00:25:01,373 --> 00:25:02,536
I need to take a nap.
470
00:25:02,538 --> 00:25:04,039
As do I.
471
00:25:06,205 --> 00:25:07,839
I have many STDs, so...
472
00:25:10,771 --> 00:25:12,039
As do I.
473
00:25:29,039 --> 00:25:30,469
Mesdames et messieurs,
474
00:25:30,471 --> 00:25:32,071
please fasten your seat belts.
475
00:25:32,073 --> 00:25:35,406
We are experiencing some
unexpected turbulence.
476
00:26:05,306 --> 00:26:07,207
Phew!
477
00:26:09,671 --> 00:26:11,470
My quads are burning!
478
00:26:11,472 --> 00:26:12,936
Ow! Ow!
479
00:26:12,938 --> 00:26:15,136
Bloody hell!
No. Okay.
480
00:26:18,805 --> 00:26:20,271
Oh, yeah.
481
00:26:20,273 --> 00:26:21,406
I'm gonna puke.
482
00:26:22,638 --> 00:26:25,636
I'm gonna hold it.
I can hold it.
483
00:26:25,638 --> 00:26:28,271
- Penny.
- Hello, Janet.
484
00:26:28,273 --> 00:26:29,669
Or should I say...
485
00:26:29,671 --> 00:26:31,639
Medusa?
486
00:26:33,173 --> 00:26:35,970
- I am not Medusa.
- Really?
487
00:26:35,972 --> 00:26:38,207
Take this to the guestroom,
butlery person.
488
00:26:43,838 --> 00:26:45,336
Okay, I may need to borrow
489
00:26:45,338 --> 00:26:48,504
a toothbrush, leggings,
some thongs.
490
00:26:48,506 --> 00:26:49,603
Oh! Some "going out" thongs.
491
00:26:49,605 --> 00:26:51,271
Do we have a problem?
492
00:26:51,273 --> 00:26:55,137
Ah! Captain Pantsuit,
in on it as well?
493
00:26:55,139 --> 00:26:58,270
All wrapped up
in this kebab of lies?
494
00:26:58,272 --> 00:27:00,604
Everything is fine, Brigitte.
You and Albert may go.
495
00:27:00,606 --> 00:27:02,869
Yeah. Bye, girls.
496
00:27:02,871 --> 00:27:05,336
I'll take my lunch
by the pool!
497
00:27:05,338 --> 00:27:08,036
Just letting you know,
I'm salad intolerant.
498
00:27:08,038 --> 00:27:09,803
What do you want,
Penny?
499
00:27:09,805 --> 00:27:11,302
I want this!
500
00:27:11,304 --> 00:27:13,270
Like, look at this place!
501
00:27:13,272 --> 00:27:16,370
I had no idea how small-time
I was until I met you.
502
00:27:16,372 --> 00:27:18,536
Teach me your sugar baby ways.
503
00:27:18,538 --> 00:27:19,637
Shape me
504
00:27:19,639 --> 00:27:21,537
into something great
505
00:27:21,539 --> 00:27:22,772
and richer.
506
00:27:23,705 --> 00:27:24,804
And why would I do that?
507
00:27:24,806 --> 00:27:26,103
Because who knows?
508
00:27:26,105 --> 00:27:27,936
I could be the partner
you never knew you needed.
509
00:27:27,938 --> 00:27:29,936
- No, thanks. I work alone.
- Hello?
510
00:27:29,938 --> 00:27:33,270
What about Menswear Barbie
and Old Crone Ken?
511
00:27:33,272 --> 00:27:34,505
They are employees.
512
00:27:35,206 --> 00:27:36,940
Okay. I get it.
513
00:27:39,504 --> 00:27:42,671
But what you're not getting
is that a girl like me
514
00:27:42,673 --> 00:27:44,268
could make it
real uncomfortable
515
00:27:44,270 --> 00:27:45,938
for you in this town.
516
00:27:45,940 --> 00:27:47,436
Like a bad case of the herp.
517
00:27:47,438 --> 00:27:50,038
With the right vitamin
cocktail, you'll go away.
518
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:53,036
You do know herpes never
goes away, don't you?
519
00:27:53,038 --> 00:27:54,306
Doesn't it?
520
00:27:56,038 --> 00:27:57,039
No.
521
00:27:59,973 --> 00:28:03,004
Seems like you've set up
such deep roots here.
522
00:28:03,006 --> 00:28:06,006
It'd be such a shame for it
to all be seized by Interpol.
523
00:28:06,872 --> 00:28:08,339
It'd just take one phone call.
524
00:28:16,339 --> 00:28:17,470
Hello, Interpol?
525
00:28:17,472 --> 00:28:18,539
Tell me, Penny...
526
00:28:20,772 --> 00:28:23,506
Why are women better suited
to the con than men?
527
00:28:24,939 --> 00:28:27,604
'Cause we're used to
faking it?
528
00:28:27,606 --> 00:28:31,037
It comes down
to one universal truth.
529
00:28:31,039 --> 00:28:34,172
No man will ever believe
a woman is smarter than he is.
530
00:28:35,706 --> 00:28:37,803
We will always
be underestimated
531
00:28:37,805 --> 00:28:39,638
and that is what we use.
532
00:28:40,940 --> 00:28:42,769
So this means you're gonna
teach me, aren't you?
533
00:28:42,771 --> 00:28:44,036
I'm teaching you now.
534
00:28:44,038 --> 00:28:45,103
Yes!
535
00:28:45,105 --> 00:28:46,970
Wait, what was that last part?
536
00:28:46,972 --> 00:28:49,206
I couldn't hear. You were
talking into the ocean.
537
00:28:51,105 --> 00:28:52,704
What do men want?
538
00:28:52,706 --> 00:28:54,669
- Boobs.
- No.
539
00:28:54,671 --> 00:28:55,672
Back door.
540
00:28:57,139 --> 00:28:58,202
Front door.
541
00:28:58,204 --> 00:28:59,636
Pegging or, like, a threesome.
542
00:28:59,638 --> 00:29:01,004
What is it? What's the answer?
543
00:29:01,006 --> 00:29:03,337
They want to be heroes.
544
00:29:03,339 --> 00:29:05,037
There is nothing
more compelling to a man
545
00:29:05,039 --> 00:29:06,537
than a vulnerable woman.
546
00:29:06,539 --> 00:29:08,506
Observe.
547
00:29:14,305 --> 00:29:17,202
Oh, wow. You can just
tear up like that.
548
00:29:17,204 --> 00:29:20,004
You can just balance a tear
right on that lower lid.
549
00:29:20,006 --> 00:29:22,773
And can you make the tear
roll down your cheek?
550
00:29:24,038 --> 00:29:26,404
Oh. Oh. Okay.
551
00:29:26,406 --> 00:29:28,472
But can you make it
go back up?
552
00:29:30,106 --> 00:29:32,073
- Now, you try.
- Okay.
553
00:29:41,872 --> 00:29:43,169
- Are you constipated?
- No.
554
00:29:43,171 --> 00:29:45,670
Why all the theatrics?
You're hot. That's enough.
555
00:29:45,672 --> 00:29:46,836
It is not enough.
556
00:29:46,838 --> 00:29:48,536
"Hot" is not a career.
557
00:29:48,538 --> 00:29:50,536
"Hot" will get you gifts
and trinkets,
558
00:29:50,538 --> 00:29:52,171
but you must pay for them
in other ways.
559
00:29:53,472 --> 00:29:55,136
Sex, Penny.
560
00:29:55,138 --> 00:29:57,370
Lesson two, research.
561
00:29:57,372 --> 00:29:59,336
"The Suburban White Knight."
562
00:29:59,338 --> 00:30:01,369
This one calls
for a basic rescue scam.
563
00:30:01,371 --> 00:30:02,471
A staged drowning
564
00:30:02,473 --> 00:30:04,436
and resuscitation
usually fits the bill.
565
00:30:04,438 --> 00:30:08,103
Next we have
"The Braggadocio on Holiday."
566
00:30:08,105 --> 00:30:09,603
Just wants a story
to tell the boys.
567
00:30:09,605 --> 00:30:10,803
But careful here.
568
00:30:10,805 --> 00:30:12,604
He's a frequent abuser
of social media.
569
00:30:13,973 --> 00:30:15,038
What the...
570
00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:16,636
Why the...
571
00:30:17,771 --> 00:30:19,703
...headache!
572
00:30:19,705 --> 00:30:22,536
Finally, you must be trained
for any situation.
573
00:31:42,172 --> 00:31:43,871
One, two...
574
00:31:43,873 --> 00:31:44,973
Surprise!
575
00:31:47,304 --> 00:31:49,537
Hello. How do you do?
576
00:31:49,539 --> 00:31:52,003
Yes, isn't it a lovely party?
577
00:31:52,005 --> 00:31:53,370
I know.
578
00:31:53,372 --> 00:31:55,206
I have seven houses.
579
00:32:05,506 --> 00:32:06,637
She's ready.
580
00:32:06,639 --> 00:32:07,970
I'm ready?
581
00:32:07,972 --> 00:32:08,973
Yes!
582
00:32:09,606 --> 00:32:10,439
Whoo!
583
00:32:18,105 --> 00:32:20,037
Ugh. Mon Dieu!
584
00:32:20,039 --> 00:32:21,604
I don't like it.
585
00:32:21,606 --> 00:32:23,672
She represents
everything you despise.
586
00:32:25,339 --> 00:32:28,203
You know, the water level
at the quarry
587
00:32:28,205 --> 00:32:30,370
is higher than normal
this time of year.
588
00:32:30,372 --> 00:32:31,670
They would not find her body
589
00:32:31,672 --> 00:32:32,836
- until the spring.
- Hmm.
590
00:32:32,838 --> 00:32:34,437
Just say the word,
591
00:32:34,439 --> 00:32:37,337
or don't and you maintain
your innocence,
592
00:32:37,339 --> 00:32:39,837
and I will do it anyway.
593
00:32:39,839 --> 00:32:41,003
Nonsense.
594
00:32:41,005 --> 00:32:42,603
We're taking her in gracefully
595
00:32:42,605 --> 00:32:44,870
in order to
get her out gracefully.
596
00:32:44,872 --> 00:32:46,270
Was that the word?
597
00:32:46,272 --> 00:32:47,703
"Gracefully"?
598
00:32:47,705 --> 00:32:49,770
Trust me, Brigitte.
It'll all work out in our favor.
599
00:32:49,772 --> 00:32:54,404
With Penny, we can finally run
the "Lord of the Rings" play.
600
00:32:54,406 --> 00:32:57,369
You truly believe she is ready
for something so elaborate?
601
00:32:57,371 --> 00:32:59,305
Who's the first mark?
602
00:33:00,939 --> 00:33:02,336
Oh, Howard.
603
00:33:02,338 --> 00:33:04,169
I can't marry you.
604
00:33:06,606 --> 00:33:08,202
Oh...
605
00:33:08,204 --> 00:33:11,669
Now, settle down, cupcake.
606
00:33:11,671 --> 00:33:13,603
What problem's so big
you don't think
607
00:33:13,605 --> 00:33:16,803
Howard Bacon can fix it, huh?
608
00:33:16,805 --> 00:33:20,370
How could you marry a woman
so beneath you?
609
00:33:20,372 --> 00:33:22,404
What are you saying,
snickerdoodle?
610
00:33:22,406 --> 00:33:25,470
You are 63rd in line
to the British throne.
611
00:33:25,472 --> 00:33:28,837
I know, but I'm bankrupt.
612
00:33:28,839 --> 00:33:31,336
The title's all I have left.
613
00:33:31,338 --> 00:33:35,369
Oh, Howard,
do you think me a...
614
00:33:35,371 --> 00:33:37,502
gold digger?
615
00:33:39,672 --> 00:33:42,302
Oh, peanut butter cup.
616
00:33:42,304 --> 00:33:43,436
Now, listen here.
617
00:33:43,438 --> 00:33:44,704
We're gonna get married,
618
00:33:44,706 --> 00:33:46,336
we're gonna fly home
to Fort Worth.
619
00:33:46,338 --> 00:33:48,135
I'mma introduce you
to my golfing buddies
620
00:33:48,137 --> 00:33:50,036
and then when
I run for Senate,
621
00:33:50,038 --> 00:33:52,203
you're gonna be by my side.
622
00:33:52,205 --> 00:33:54,636
Beautiful and silent.
623
00:33:54,638 --> 00:33:57,606
You're not gonna break my heart
now, are you, sugarbooger?
624
00:33:58,271 --> 00:33:59,969
Oh, Howard.
625
00:33:59,971 --> 00:34:03,870
I'm helpless against
your food-themed endearments.
626
00:34:03,872 --> 00:34:05,670
The only thing you're gonna
have to worry about
627
00:34:05,672 --> 00:34:08,103
how that Texas humidity's
gonna affect your hair.
628
00:34:08,105 --> 00:34:10,771
My hair looks like this
in any climate, darling,
629
00:34:10,773 --> 00:34:12,972
and Hortense loves wet heat.
630
00:34:13,638 --> 00:34:14,770
Hortense?
631
00:34:14,772 --> 00:34:17,670
My sister.
Didn't I tell you about her?
632
00:34:17,672 --> 00:34:20,072
I couldn't possibly
leave her behind.
633
00:34:21,839 --> 00:34:23,369
Are you telling me
I'm gonna go home
634
00:34:23,371 --> 00:34:25,503
with two princesses on my arm?
635
00:34:25,505 --> 00:34:26,969
Would you like to see her?
636
00:34:26,971 --> 00:34:29,003
Oh, lead the way.
637
00:34:29,005 --> 00:34:30,771
If you think me
regal in the least,
638
00:34:30,773 --> 00:34:33,203
wait until you meet
my sweet sister. Oof!
639
00:34:33,205 --> 00:34:37,770
I haven't an ounce of the
majesty Hortense possesses.
640
00:34:37,772 --> 00:34:39,869
There are no private beaches
on the Cote d'Azur,
641
00:34:39,871 --> 00:34:43,935
but you put up one sign that
says "toxic waste," et voila!
642
00:34:43,937 --> 00:34:45,470
Granny was so clever.
643
00:34:45,472 --> 00:34:47,769
- Mmm.
- Your sister lives in there?
644
00:34:47,771 --> 00:34:51,403
Mmm-hmm, yes,
in her cozy castle keep.
645
00:34:53,638 --> 00:34:55,336
Ah.
646
00:34:55,338 --> 00:34:56,870
This way.
647
00:34:56,872 --> 00:34:58,536
Your tetanus
is up to date, yes?
648
00:34:58,538 --> 00:35:00,203
What?
649
00:35:00,205 --> 00:35:02,836
Every royal family
has its black sheep, of course,
650
00:35:02,838 --> 00:35:04,804
but not Hortense and me.
651
00:35:04,806 --> 00:35:08,169
Nanny Gertrude raised us to be
two levelheaded young ladies.
652
00:35:08,171 --> 00:35:10,803
We're so normal,
it's practically boring.
653
00:35:10,805 --> 00:35:12,502
Now remember, at no point
654
00:35:12,504 --> 00:35:14,136
should you turn
your back on her.
655
00:35:14,138 --> 00:35:15,806
Because she's royalty?
656
00:35:16,805 --> 00:35:18,304
If you like.
657
00:35:18,306 --> 00:35:19,537
Ah, here we are.
658
00:35:19,539 --> 00:35:21,703
Hortense,
I've brought a guest!
659
00:35:21,705 --> 00:35:23,203
- I wonder where she's hiding.
- Hmm.
660
00:35:23,205 --> 00:35:25,770
Don't be shy.
661
00:35:25,772 --> 00:35:27,038
Oh. I know.
662
00:35:29,105 --> 00:35:31,970
Maybe her subjects
can flush her out.
663
00:35:41,971 --> 00:35:43,669
Ah! There she is!
664
00:35:43,671 --> 00:35:46,137
My only living relative.
665
00:35:46,139 --> 00:35:48,539
Shall we pay her a visit?
666
00:35:53,706 --> 00:35:58,302
Princess Hortense of House
Northumberton-Saxe-Hapsburg,
667
00:35:58,304 --> 00:36:01,871
may I present to you
Howard Bacon.
668
00:36:05,506 --> 00:36:06,637
Uh...
669
00:36:06,639 --> 00:36:08,869
My ma'am... Lady.
670
00:36:08,871 --> 00:36:13,003
Sir Bacon,
welcome to thy kingdom.
671
00:36:13,005 --> 00:36:15,035
I have food for your men
672
00:36:15,037 --> 00:36:17,802
and water
for your horses and whores.
673
00:36:17,804 --> 00:36:19,336
Hortense.
674
00:36:19,338 --> 00:36:22,103
She knows you haven't
got any horses.
675
00:36:22,105 --> 00:36:24,039
Lucretia, pour the mead.
676
00:36:28,705 --> 00:36:30,136
Lucretia,
you dumb bitch,
677
00:36:30,138 --> 00:36:31,536
don't embarrass me
in front of the guests.
678
00:36:31,538 --> 00:36:33,803
Yes, there is much
to celebrate, beloved sister.
679
00:36:33,805 --> 00:36:35,969
I bring wonderful news.
680
00:36:35,971 --> 00:36:38,272
Howard and I
are to be married.
681
00:36:39,171 --> 00:36:40,172
Really?
682
00:36:42,673 --> 00:36:45,036
You and you?
683
00:36:45,038 --> 00:36:46,106
Hortense...
684
00:36:48,537 --> 00:36:51,172
Hortense, do not
drop that coronet.
685
00:36:53,104 --> 00:36:55,438
Use your words,
not the heirlooms.
686
00:36:56,505 --> 00:36:57,604
Whoops!
687
00:37:02,971 --> 00:37:04,102
Why?
688
00:37:04,104 --> 00:37:06,370
I think I know
what this is about.
689
00:37:06,372 --> 00:37:08,002
Die! No!
690
00:37:08,004 --> 00:37:10,702
Don't fret, sissy.
You shan't be left behind.
691
00:37:10,704 --> 00:37:13,604
You, Howard, and I
692
00:37:13,606 --> 00:37:17,169
are going to live together
in Texas.
693
00:37:17,171 --> 00:37:19,836
Texas? Hurrah!
694
00:37:19,838 --> 00:37:22,637
This calls
for a celebration pole dance.
695
00:37:27,837 --> 00:37:31,135
Promise, if anything
should happen to me,
696
00:37:31,137 --> 00:37:33,204
you'll look after her.
697
00:37:33,206 --> 00:37:35,336
Ooh.
I invoke prima nocta.
698
00:37:35,338 --> 00:37:36,670
Absolutely.
699
00:37:36,672 --> 00:37:39,169
This shall be a traditional
wedding in every respect.
700
00:37:39,171 --> 00:37:40,269
Prima nocta.
701
00:37:40,271 --> 00:37:42,835
Prima nocta! Prima nocta!
702
00:37:42,837 --> 00:37:46,336
Uh, what's prima nocta?
703
00:37:46,338 --> 00:37:49,969
Oh. Once the eldest daughter
consummates her marriage,
704
00:37:49,971 --> 00:37:52,203
it is the second daughter's
divine right
705
00:37:52,205 --> 00:37:54,970
either to bed the groom
or fight him in a duel.
706
00:37:54,972 --> 00:37:56,471
In either case,
your performance
707
00:37:56,473 --> 00:37:58,204
shall be judged
by a panel of courtiers.
708
00:37:58,206 --> 00:38:00,135
But you don't mind,
do you, darling?
709
00:38:00,137 --> 00:38:04,802
♪ Second sister
Gets sloppy seconds ♪
710
00:38:04,804 --> 00:38:08,136
♪ Or you die ♪
711
00:38:10,970 --> 00:38:13,135
Muffin, wedding's off.
712
00:38:13,137 --> 00:38:15,035
But Howard! The ring!
713
00:38:15,037 --> 00:38:16,038
Keep it!
714
00:38:28,771 --> 00:38:30,901
Enrique, do go on.
You were saying how
715
00:38:30,903 --> 00:38:33,470
even though you yourself have
benefited economically
716
00:38:33,472 --> 00:38:34,836
from immigrating to America,
717
00:38:34,838 --> 00:38:37,303
you don't feel
any additional Guatemalans
718
00:38:37,305 --> 00:38:38,837
should be allowed
into Palm Beach?
719
00:38:38,839 --> 00:38:39,936
Yes, I believe...
720
00:38:39,938 --> 00:38:42,370
Sister! Sister! Sister!
721
00:38:42,372 --> 00:38:44,437
Hortense! Manners, please!
722
00:38:44,439 --> 00:38:46,536
Is this how we behave
in front of a guest?
723
00:38:46,538 --> 00:38:47,772
Sorry.
724
00:38:48,504 --> 00:38:49,768
Pardon the intrusion,
725
00:38:49,770 --> 00:38:51,735
but can I beg leave
to go to the toilet?
726
00:38:51,737 --> 00:38:53,035
Yes, of course,
my turtle dove.
727
00:38:53,037 --> 00:38:54,803
Thank you.
728
00:38:54,805 --> 00:38:58,338
Kind sir, would you help me
with this?
729
00:39:00,439 --> 00:39:02,135
The lock-eth has rust-eth.
730
00:39:02,137 --> 00:39:03,302
Hortense!
731
00:39:03,304 --> 00:39:05,170
Did I not expressly forbid you
732
00:39:05,172 --> 00:39:07,470
from wearing your virtue
panties in the pool?
733
00:39:07,472 --> 00:39:09,638
Albert! She's done it again.
734
00:39:10,838 --> 00:39:12,438
Ahhh! Not the flame!
735
00:39:24,171 --> 00:39:26,370
Release the peasants!
736
00:39:26,372 --> 00:39:28,270
She must mean
"pheasants," yes?
737
00:39:28,272 --> 00:39:29,835
Hmm? Of course not.
738
00:39:29,837 --> 00:39:32,770
Oh, don't worry, darling.
She's a terrible shot.
739
00:39:34,005 --> 00:39:35,306
Peasant ho!
740
00:39:37,671 --> 00:39:38,672
See?
741
00:39:47,005 --> 00:39:49,039
That was unexpected.
742
00:39:56,204 --> 00:39:58,504
Brigitte, your 20,000.
743
00:39:58,506 --> 00:40:00,437
You just got a lot
more attractive, Bridge.
744
00:40:00,439 --> 00:40:01,970
Albert, your 10.
745
00:40:01,972 --> 00:40:03,503
Still wouldn't bang you,
Albert.
746
00:40:04,771 --> 00:40:06,005
Thank you, all.
747
00:40:08,505 --> 00:40:10,036
What do you mean,
"Thank you, all"?
748
00:40:10,038 --> 00:40:11,370
No, where's my cashola?
749
00:40:11,372 --> 00:40:12,535
Hmm? Where's my cut?
750
00:40:12,537 --> 00:40:14,870
Where's the big chunka...
751
00:40:14,872 --> 00:40:16,668
...to come in to me,
of the cash?
752
00:40:16,670 --> 00:40:19,270
The student
doesn't earn wages
753
00:40:19,272 --> 00:40:21,003
until after graduation.
754
00:40:21,005 --> 00:40:23,306
When the hell is that?
755
00:40:24,372 --> 00:40:25,670
I've been killing myself
756
00:40:25,672 --> 00:40:27,269
playing Hortense
the Feral Princess,
757
00:40:27,271 --> 00:40:30,103
while you just prance around,
not having sex with people.
758
00:40:30,105 --> 00:40:31,936
Penny, how much money
do you have?
759
00:40:31,938 --> 00:40:32,939
Be honest, now.
760
00:40:34,538 --> 00:40:36,135
$500,000.
761
00:40:36,137 --> 00:40:37,801
Oh. Good for you.
762
00:40:37,803 --> 00:40:39,634
It's an adorable
little nest egg.
763
00:40:39,636 --> 00:40:41,103
All in cash I presume?
764
00:40:41,105 --> 00:40:43,937
Bitcoin. Why?
How much money do you have?
765
00:40:43,939 --> 00:40:48,872
Hmm? Oh, assets and liquidity,
um, 28.32 million.
766
00:40:50,139 --> 00:40:51,668
Ah, okay, I didn't know
767
00:40:51,670 --> 00:40:53,437
we were counting
assets and liquidity.
768
00:40:53,439 --> 00:40:54,636
In that case, I have, uh...
769
00:40:54,638 --> 00:40:56,501
still 500,000.
770
00:40:56,503 --> 00:40:58,869
And how do you think
I grew that wealth?
771
00:40:58,871 --> 00:41:01,204
By investing wisely.
772
00:41:01,206 --> 00:41:03,102
I've invested in you, Penny.
773
00:41:03,104 --> 00:41:04,635
And I must see a robust return
774
00:41:04,637 --> 00:41:06,170
before I can share
the profits.
775
00:41:06,172 --> 00:41:07,668
But you wouldn't
have any profits
776
00:41:07,670 --> 00:41:09,570
if it wasn't for me, okay?
777
00:41:09,572 --> 00:41:11,337
Let's face it,
we're a team on this.
778
00:41:11,339 --> 00:41:14,003
Penny, if you want to be like
me, then you're going to have...
779
00:41:14,005 --> 00:41:15,602
I don't wanna be like you!
780
00:41:15,604 --> 00:41:17,337
Why would I wanna be like you?
781
00:41:17,339 --> 00:41:19,701
I don't wanna be some loser
782
00:41:19,703 --> 00:41:22,036
that looks like
a colorful Beetlejuice.
783
00:41:22,038 --> 00:41:24,136
Oh, sorry,
Julie Andrews just called.
784
00:41:24,138 --> 00:41:26,036
She said she wants
her voice back.
785
00:41:26,038 --> 00:41:28,335
We all know
you're actually from Wisconsin
786
00:41:28,337 --> 00:41:31,103
and you stay in this house
eating weird salads
787
00:41:31,105 --> 00:41:32,770
and drinking alcohol
788
00:41:32,772 --> 00:41:34,837
that doesn't get you
hammered fast enough.
789
00:41:34,839 --> 00:41:36,203
And you're like,
790
00:41:36,205 --> 00:41:39,336
"Oh! I better check
all my precious stocks
791
00:41:39,338 --> 00:41:41,601
on the NASCAR index."
792
00:41:41,603 --> 00:41:42,970
And, "Oh, wait,
793
00:41:42,972 --> 00:41:46,369
let me just collect another
little boy's head,
794
00:41:46,371 --> 00:41:50,336
or another dinosaur clitoris,
795
00:41:50,338 --> 00:41:52,370
or another little statue
of a..."
796
00:41:52,372 --> 00:41:53,868
That's alive.
797
00:41:53,870 --> 00:41:57,202
Yes, that is a Madagascan
blue panther chameleon.
798
00:41:57,204 --> 00:41:59,037
It's one of the last
of its kind.
799
00:41:59,039 --> 00:42:01,269
Is it?
800
00:42:01,271 --> 00:42:02,468
Just like you.
801
00:42:02,470 --> 00:42:04,069
Well, you know what, Jo?
802
00:42:04,071 --> 00:42:06,202
I don't give a crap if you're
a legend in the game.
803
00:42:06,204 --> 00:42:08,603
If you're not gonna pay me for
work that I've actually done,
804
00:42:08,605 --> 00:42:09,702
then I'm out!
805
00:42:09,704 --> 00:42:11,337
Screw you, Medusa!
806
00:42:11,339 --> 00:42:13,103
I'm not Medusa.
807
00:42:16,871 --> 00:42:19,139
And she's gone.
808
00:42:49,272 --> 00:42:51,535
Are you...
Are you all right, miss?
809
00:42:51,537 --> 00:42:54,270
Oh, is there a doctor
in the house?
810
00:42:54,272 --> 00:42:56,335
Oh, somebody, please, help me!
811
00:42:56,337 --> 00:42:57,502
What are the signs
of a stroke?
812
00:42:57,504 --> 00:42:59,502
I can't feel my tits!
813
00:43:01,605 --> 00:43:03,635
Goodness me!
814
00:43:03,637 --> 00:43:05,136
Are you all right, miss?
815
00:43:05,138 --> 00:43:06,536
Are you okay?
816
00:43:06,538 --> 00:43:08,772
She's all right.
Aren't you, sis?
817
00:43:12,672 --> 00:43:15,835
Yeah, I'm feeling
so much better, actually.
818
00:43:15,837 --> 00:43:18,803
Good on you. That's my chook.
Come on.
819
00:43:18,805 --> 00:43:20,502
Come on.
Let's get you up.
820
00:43:20,504 --> 00:43:21,802
- Yeah.
- No worries.
821
00:43:21,804 --> 00:43:23,035
I think it was
just a big burp.
822
00:43:23,037 --> 00:43:24,704
- You enjoy the sun.
- My pleasure.
823
00:43:25,338 --> 00:43:26,536
What's up, Jo?
824
00:43:26,538 --> 00:43:27,602
I thought
you were leaving, Pen.
825
00:43:27,604 --> 00:43:29,937
I was, and then...
826
00:43:29,939 --> 00:43:33,870
I just realized
this place is great.
827
00:43:33,872 --> 00:43:36,936
There just isn't room
for both of us
828
00:43:36,938 --> 00:43:38,635
in Beaumont-Sur-Mer.
829
00:43:38,637 --> 00:43:40,801
Mmm. Agree to unagree.
830
00:43:40,803 --> 00:43:44,003
This is my home
831
00:43:44,005 --> 00:43:46,304
and my place of work
832
00:43:46,306 --> 00:43:48,636
and you are a bull
in my china shop.
833
00:43:48,638 --> 00:43:52,336
Well, you don't really
affect my life that much.
834
00:43:52,338 --> 00:43:54,468
Oh, piss off,
you moonfaced troll!
835
00:43:54,470 --> 00:43:55,603
Whoa!
836
00:43:55,605 --> 00:43:57,202
Careful there.
837
00:43:57,204 --> 00:43:59,768
People might think you're more
than just an animatronic cocktease.
838
00:43:59,770 --> 00:44:00,771
Okay, come on.
839
00:44:03,970 --> 00:44:06,003
Ow! Arm!
840
00:44:06,005 --> 00:44:07,568
Hands off the merchandise.
841
00:44:07,570 --> 00:44:09,070
I bruise like a peach.
842
00:44:09,072 --> 00:44:11,535
Shall we settle this
with a friendly wager?
843
00:44:11,537 --> 00:44:12,769
Like a turf war?
844
00:44:12,771 --> 00:44:14,668
Whoever wins gets dibs
on the town?
845
00:44:14,670 --> 00:44:17,634
Loser leaves for good.
846
00:44:17,636 --> 00:44:18,903
Well, what's the bet?
847
00:44:18,905 --> 00:44:20,103
We choose a man.
848
00:44:20,105 --> 00:44:22,935
First to extract a set sum
from him wins.
849
00:44:22,937 --> 00:44:25,635
That sounds like a party.
Yeah, how much?
850
00:44:25,637 --> 00:44:28,369
How about your net worth?
500,000?
851
00:44:28,371 --> 00:44:29,535
Oh, I'm sorry.
852
00:44:29,537 --> 00:44:31,701
Is that too rich
for your blood?
853
00:44:31,703 --> 00:44:32,903
Are you kidding?
854
00:44:32,905 --> 00:44:36,968
My blood is, like,
98% white chocolate mousse.
855
00:44:36,970 --> 00:44:39,869
So, I can...
I can handle it, yeah.
856
00:44:39,871 --> 00:44:40,970
Who's the mark?
857
00:44:43,371 --> 00:44:45,301
Monsieur!
858
00:44:45,303 --> 00:44:47,604
How about that guy?
859
00:44:48,270 --> 00:44:49,602
He's 12.
860
00:44:49,604 --> 00:44:51,636
Ah, too young for your blood?
861
00:44:51,638 --> 00:44:53,169
Guillaume?
862
00:44:53,171 --> 00:44:56,269
Is that boy
a guest at the hotel?
863
00:44:56,271 --> 00:44:57,869
Yes, that is
Thomas Westerberg.
864
00:44:57,871 --> 00:45:00,602
He is the inventor of YaBurnt.
865
00:45:00,604 --> 00:45:02,368
- Shut my back door.
- What? Why?
866
00:45:02,370 --> 00:45:04,837
What is YaBurnt?
867
00:45:04,839 --> 00:45:06,202
Honestly?
868
00:45:06,204 --> 00:45:07,903
Jo, are you, like,
100 years old?
869
00:45:07,905 --> 00:45:10,836
It's, like, this really cool app
where it sends all your friends
870
00:45:10,838 --> 00:45:11,969
these disgusting insults
871
00:45:11,971 --> 00:45:13,435
and then they disappear
after 10 seconds.
872
00:45:13,437 --> 00:45:14,702
Why would anyone want that?
873
00:45:14,704 --> 00:45:16,937
Why would anyone
want Christmas, either?
874
00:45:16,939 --> 00:45:20,103
So, he's a tech millionaire?
875
00:45:20,105 --> 00:45:21,968
Billionaire, I bet.
876
00:45:21,970 --> 00:45:23,038
So, do we have a deal?
877
00:45:23,637 --> 00:45:24,768
One week.
878
00:45:24,770 --> 00:45:26,504
May the best con win.
879
00:45:49,671 --> 00:45:52,972
Hey, uh, do you mind if I
spin the thingy next round?
880
00:45:55,171 --> 00:45:58,268
Okay. That's your job.
881
00:45:58,270 --> 00:45:59,472
Shut up, Thomas.
882
00:46:06,170 --> 00:46:08,002
- Monsieur.
- Yes?
883
00:46:08,004 --> 00:46:09,337
Please place your bets.
884
00:46:23,437 --> 00:46:24,672
No more bets.
885
00:46:28,704 --> 00:46:30,805
Eighteen red.
886
00:46:35,137 --> 00:46:36,368
Sorry, comin' through.
887
00:46:36,370 --> 00:46:37,836
Sorry, excuse me.
888
00:46:37,838 --> 00:46:39,602
- My goodness!
- Sorry, miss, please.
889
00:46:39,604 --> 00:46:43,269
Oi, blind person here.
Move! Move!
890
00:46:43,271 --> 00:46:44,902
Yeah.
891
00:46:44,904 --> 00:46:45,938
Yeah.
892
00:46:46,838 --> 00:46:48,602
Oh. Pardon the intrusion,
893
00:46:48,604 --> 00:46:50,002
but could somebody tell me
894
00:46:50,004 --> 00:46:51,636
if there's an empty chair
at this table?
895
00:46:51,638 --> 00:46:53,668
No, mademoiselle.
The table is full.
896
00:46:53,670 --> 00:46:55,336
Oh. Okey-dokey.
897
00:46:55,338 --> 00:46:58,335
No, miss. Miss? Excuse me.
You can have my chair.
898
00:46:58,337 --> 00:46:59,702
Oh, a hero.
899
00:46:59,704 --> 00:47:01,435
Oh, but it's not necessary.
900
00:47:01,437 --> 00:47:03,703
Perhaps if, um,
this person scoots over,
901
00:47:03,705 --> 00:47:05,669
we could just squeeze in
another chair.
902
00:47:05,671 --> 00:47:07,935
- Yeah, sure.
- Do you mind, sir?
903
00:47:07,937 --> 00:47:10,002
Would you mind just, um...
904
00:47:10,004 --> 00:47:11,501
Right behind you.
905
00:47:11,503 --> 00:47:13,601
- Oh.
- There you go.
906
00:47:13,603 --> 00:47:15,135
- Thank you.
- All right?
907
00:47:15,137 --> 00:47:17,302
Wow. What wonderful
blind person etiquette.
908
00:47:17,304 --> 00:47:18,770
My nana was blind.
909
00:47:18,772 --> 00:47:20,335
Was she?
910
00:47:20,337 --> 00:47:21,637
I had no idea.
911
00:47:22,603 --> 00:47:23,701
Research.
912
00:47:23,703 --> 00:47:25,368
Please place your bets.
913
00:47:25,370 --> 00:47:27,937
Oh. Do you want me
to place a bet for you?
914
00:47:27,939 --> 00:47:29,003
Yeah, could you?
915
00:47:29,005 --> 00:47:31,369
- Yeah, of course.
- But can you choose?
916
00:47:31,371 --> 00:47:33,501
I feel like I need somebody
else's luck right now.
917
00:47:33,503 --> 00:47:35,168
- Sure.
- Okay.
918
00:47:35,170 --> 00:47:36,971
All right,
keep your fingers crossed.
919
00:47:39,503 --> 00:47:40,504
No more bets.
920
00:47:42,337 --> 00:47:43,502
Twenty-one red.
921
00:47:43,504 --> 00:47:44,601
How did we do?
922
00:47:44,603 --> 00:47:46,669
We lost. I'm so sorry.
923
00:47:46,671 --> 00:47:48,836
- What?
- Yeah, it happens.
924
00:47:48,838 --> 00:47:50,338
That was my last chance.
925
00:47:51,037 --> 00:47:53,002
Last chance? For...
926
00:47:53,004 --> 00:47:54,504
Wait! Miss!
927
00:47:55,103 --> 00:47:56,536
Miss, wait. Miss?
928
00:47:56,538 --> 00:47:57,970
Monsieur, your chips.
929
00:47:57,972 --> 00:47:59,769
Oh, yeah, thank you.
930
00:48:03,638 --> 00:48:05,338
Thank you, thank you. Sorry.
931
00:48:06,838 --> 00:48:08,434
Thank you. Miss!
932
00:48:11,170 --> 00:48:12,805
Miss! Miss?
933
00:48:13,637 --> 00:48:14,705
Your winnings.
934
00:48:19,171 --> 00:48:22,101
Miss! Miss? Miss?
Excuse me? Hi.
935
00:48:22,103 --> 00:48:23,435
You left your cane.
936
00:48:23,437 --> 00:48:25,368
Oh, thanks
for bringing it back.
937
00:48:25,370 --> 00:48:27,668
I'm so embarrassed. Did I,
like, cause a big scene?
938
00:48:27,670 --> 00:48:30,336
No, no. It's okay. But you
said something in there.
939
00:48:30,338 --> 00:48:32,703
You said that that was
your last chance.
940
00:48:32,705 --> 00:48:35,269
- What for?
- To help my sister.
941
00:48:35,271 --> 00:48:37,537
- Oh.
- She's my baby sister.
942
00:48:38,971 --> 00:48:40,570
- Oh.
- You're looking at a picture
943
00:48:40,572 --> 00:48:42,002
of a really hot girl, right?
944
00:48:42,004 --> 00:48:45,301
Uh... Yes. Yeah, I am.
945
00:48:45,303 --> 00:48:47,137
Are my eyes tearing up?
946
00:48:48,504 --> 00:48:50,270
'Cause sometimes I can't tell.
947
00:48:56,304 --> 00:48:58,268
At least you won big, huh?
948
00:48:58,270 --> 00:48:59,768
Not yet.
949
00:48:59,770 --> 00:49:03,368
Go and see what big-titted
Russell Crowe is up to.
950
00:49:03,370 --> 00:49:04,635
Here.
Here you go, Penny.
951
00:49:04,637 --> 00:49:06,470
No, no, no, Thomas.
I cannot take that.
952
00:49:06,472 --> 00:49:09,034
- Yes, you can, Penny.
- No, I can't.
953
00:49:09,036 --> 00:49:10,368
Penny, you have to.
954
00:49:10,370 --> 00:49:13,501
Your sister needs that
final cleft palate surgery.
955
00:49:13,503 --> 00:49:15,803
Yeah, she does.
956
00:49:15,805 --> 00:49:17,636
- Penny...
- Hmm?
957
00:49:17,638 --> 00:49:18,668
What about you?
958
00:49:18,670 --> 00:49:20,369
What do you mean,
what about me?
959
00:49:20,371 --> 00:49:23,368
Well, do you mind
if I ask you how you...
960
00:49:23,370 --> 00:49:24,769
got blind?
961
00:49:24,771 --> 00:49:25,772
Yeah.
962
00:49:27,672 --> 00:49:30,502
My condition is 100% mental.
963
00:49:30,504 --> 00:49:32,301
Hysterical blindness?
964
00:49:32,303 --> 00:49:33,836
It's not that funny to me,
Thomas.
965
00:49:33,838 --> 00:49:35,870
No, I know. What I mean is,
966
00:49:35,872 --> 00:49:38,436
it means there's hope for you
to see again.
967
00:49:38,438 --> 00:49:39,569
Right?
968
00:49:39,571 --> 00:49:42,202
People say that,
but I've tried everything.
969
00:49:42,204 --> 00:49:44,468
Hypnosis, drugs...
970
00:49:44,470 --> 00:49:46,669
I even hired this guy Barry
to follow me around
971
00:49:46,671 --> 00:49:49,202
and scare me
in parking structures.
972
00:49:49,204 --> 00:49:50,868
He'd just be like, "Hey!"
973
00:49:52,136 --> 00:49:55,136
Turns out this is not like
having the hiccups.
974
00:49:55,138 --> 00:49:56,835
Well, there must be something.
975
00:49:56,837 --> 00:50:00,769
Well, there is, like,
this one psychologist,
976
00:50:00,771 --> 00:50:02,336
up in this clinic in Germany,
977
00:50:02,338 --> 00:50:05,201
that does, like,
really cutting-edge stuff.
978
00:50:05,203 --> 00:50:07,302
But it's so expensive.
979
00:50:07,304 --> 00:50:09,137
Well, how much
does this doctor charge?
980
00:50:10,004 --> 00:50:11,503
$500,000.
981
00:50:11,505 --> 00:50:13,501
- Damn!
- I know!
982
00:50:13,503 --> 00:50:16,204
But Dr. Schauffhaussen
is that gifted.
983
00:50:17,504 --> 00:50:19,469
Forget about it.
984
00:50:19,471 --> 00:50:21,168
What is sight worth, anyways?
985
00:50:21,170 --> 00:50:23,304
$500,000?
986
00:50:23,739 --> 00:50:24,971
Seems so.
987
00:50:31,037 --> 00:50:33,038
She's using all your tricks!
988
00:50:34,204 --> 00:50:35,703
Fine.
989
00:50:35,705 --> 00:50:37,171
Let's use some of hers.
990
00:50:39,837 --> 00:50:42,303
But enough about me.
Let's talk about you.
991
00:50:42,305 --> 00:50:43,603
What's your story?
992
00:50:43,605 --> 00:50:45,635
No, well, no story, really.
993
00:50:45,637 --> 00:50:49,102
These French investor guys,
uh, flew me out here,
994
00:50:49,104 --> 00:50:51,001
I guess to hear
about my new venture.
995
00:50:51,003 --> 00:50:52,802
- Oh.
- But I'm starting to feel like
996
00:50:52,804 --> 00:50:54,601
they just want
another YaBurnt.
997
00:50:54,603 --> 00:50:56,269
- Ya-what?
- YaBurnt.
998
00:50:56,271 --> 00:50:58,369
It's an app that I designed.
999
00:50:58,371 --> 00:51:01,201
Oh.
Like an appetizer?
1000
00:51:01,203 --> 00:51:02,969
I love 'em
when they're bottomless.
1001
00:51:04,671 --> 00:51:05,672
That's good!
1002
00:51:07,904 --> 00:51:10,335
- No, not an appetizer.
- Oh.
1003
00:51:10,337 --> 00:51:13,303
An app like an application
for a smartphone.
1004
00:51:13,305 --> 00:51:14,501
Oh, okay.
1005
00:51:14,503 --> 00:51:16,369
But my new concept,
1006
00:51:16,371 --> 00:51:21,469
it's something that I think
could really help people...
1007
00:51:21,471 --> 00:51:26,205
if anyone would actually
listen to what I have in mind.
1008
00:51:27,505 --> 00:51:28,835
I get it.
1009
00:51:28,837 --> 00:51:30,270
You're a really kind guy.
1010
00:51:30,970 --> 00:51:32,204
I could see that...
1011
00:51:33,604 --> 00:51:35,105
If only I could see.
1012
00:51:35,936 --> 00:51:37,004
Penny...
1013
00:51:38,771 --> 00:51:41,868
Penny, what is the name of
that doctor you told me about?
1014
00:51:41,870 --> 00:51:42,969
Oh, um...
1015
00:51:42,971 --> 00:51:44,171
Doctor...
1016
00:51:46,437 --> 00:51:47,602
Schauffhaussen.
1017
00:51:47,604 --> 00:51:49,001
- Schauffhaussen.
- Schauffhaussen.
1018
00:51:49,003 --> 00:51:51,169
How do you spell that?
Is that S-C-H?
1019
00:51:51,171 --> 00:51:53,834
- Sure.
- Okay.
1020
00:51:53,836 --> 00:51:54,935
Wait, what are you doing?
1021
00:51:54,937 --> 00:51:56,305
I'm looking him up online.
1022
00:51:58,604 --> 00:52:00,035
Not much is known
about the good doctor.
1023
00:52:00,037 --> 00:52:02,002
I hear he's a recluse.
1024
00:52:02,004 --> 00:52:03,369
No, I found his website.
1025
00:52:03,371 --> 00:52:05,135
- Really?
- Awesome.
1026
00:52:05,137 --> 00:52:06,703
Whoa.
1027
00:52:06,705 --> 00:52:08,105
No, here's an e-mail address.
1028
00:52:09,104 --> 00:52:10,868
Okay, you're kidding me.
1029
00:52:10,870 --> 00:52:12,034
Whoa. No way.
1030
00:52:12,036 --> 00:52:13,802
- Yeah.
- No way.
1031
00:52:13,804 --> 00:52:16,135
I've sent something.
There we go.
1032
00:52:16,137 --> 00:52:18,269
- See what happens.
- Thomas, no, you...
1033
00:52:18,271 --> 00:52:19,636
- Oh...
- No.
1034
00:52:19,638 --> 00:52:21,635
You really shouldn't have.
1035
00:52:21,637 --> 00:52:23,369
Let's not get our hopes up.
1036
00:52:23,371 --> 00:52:24,502
Okay.
1037
00:52:24,504 --> 00:52:25,935
He responded!
1038
00:52:25,937 --> 00:52:27,535
Of course he did.
1039
00:52:27,537 --> 00:52:29,003
Oh,
it's an out-of-office reply.
1040
00:52:29,971 --> 00:52:31,102
Oh.
1041
00:52:31,104 --> 00:52:32,672
Let's see
if he's on social media.
1042
00:52:34,037 --> 00:52:35,136
Oh, my God.
1043
00:52:35,138 --> 00:52:37,138
- No way! Oh, my God.
- What?
1044
00:52:48,270 --> 00:52:50,135
Uh, excuse me, sir?
1045
00:52:50,137 --> 00:52:52,935
Hi. Uh, hi. My name's Thomas
1046
00:52:52,937 --> 00:52:56,869
and my friend Penny really,
really needs your help.
1047
00:52:56,871 --> 00:52:59,768
I just saw your photo
on Instagram,
1048
00:52:59,770 --> 00:53:01,001
and I had to come find you.
1049
00:53:01,003 --> 00:53:02,968
This is beyond coincidence.
1050
00:53:02,970 --> 00:53:06,601
It means something
that you're here. Um...
1051
00:53:06,603 --> 00:53:08,637
So, what do you say,
Dr. Schauffhaussen?
1052
00:53:09,869 --> 00:53:11,137
Will you help my friend?
1053
00:53:22,337 --> 00:53:24,201
Siri, I need to learn German.
1054
00:53:24,203 --> 00:53:26,437
That is not German.
1055
00:53:28,670 --> 00:53:29,969
That is Dutch.
1056
00:53:29,971 --> 00:53:32,302
Oh, um...
1057
00:53:32,304 --> 00:53:34,234
Hi, we met
at the roulette table.
1058
00:53:34,236 --> 00:53:36,202
That is incorrect.
We did not meet.
1059
00:53:36,204 --> 00:53:37,868
Otherwise,
you would know that I...
1060
00:53:37,870 --> 00:53:39,204
You're Dr. Schauffhaussen?
1061
00:53:41,003 --> 00:53:42,871
Precisely.
1062
00:53:53,538 --> 00:53:55,001
Auf Wiedersehen.
1063
00:53:55,003 --> 00:53:57,734
No, wait, Dr. Schauffhaussen.
I'm sorry if I offended you.
1064
00:53:57,736 --> 00:53:59,101
I am not offended.
1065
00:53:59,103 --> 00:54:00,502
It's just that
I looked you up online,
1066
00:54:00,504 --> 00:54:02,002
I couldn't find a photo
1067
00:54:02,004 --> 00:54:03,202
and, I don't know,
1068
00:54:03,204 --> 00:54:05,204
I just didn't think
you would be a woman.
1069
00:54:06,672 --> 00:54:07,969
I am offended now.
1070
00:54:07,971 --> 00:54:09,869
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
1071
00:54:09,871 --> 00:54:12,871
Please don't punish Penny
for my sexism.
1072
00:54:13,337 --> 00:54:15,436
Penny?
1073
00:54:15,438 --> 00:54:17,768
Is this Penny from
Cootamundra, Australia?
1074
00:54:17,770 --> 00:54:19,202
Yes! Yeah, that's her.
1075
00:54:19,204 --> 00:54:22,870
I remember her letters.
Such a tragic case.
1076
00:54:24,069 --> 00:54:26,302
- Good luck to you both.
- Wait.
1077
00:54:26,304 --> 00:54:28,001
Dr. Schauffhaussen,
what do I have to do
1078
00:54:28,003 --> 00:54:30,001
to get you to
see her here, tonight?
1079
00:54:30,003 --> 00:54:32,102
- Young man...
- Thomas.
1080
00:54:32,104 --> 00:54:34,468
Thomas,
it would be inappropriate
1081
00:54:34,470 --> 00:54:35,801
and unprofessional of me
1082
00:54:35,803 --> 00:54:37,334
to see patients
while on my holiday.
1083
00:54:37,336 --> 00:54:39,302
Well, if it's a matter
of money, I can...
1084
00:54:39,304 --> 00:54:41,169
You haven't given her
any money, have you?
1085
00:54:41,171 --> 00:54:43,301
Well, some.
But just for her sister.
1086
00:54:43,303 --> 00:54:47,169
You must not,
under any circumstances,
1087
00:54:47,171 --> 00:54:49,168
give the patient money.
1088
00:54:49,170 --> 00:54:50,969
Otherwise,
this reinforces the notion
1089
00:54:50,971 --> 00:54:52,035
that she's totally disabled
1090
00:54:52,037 --> 00:54:53,937
rendering the treatment kaput!
1091
00:54:54,804 --> 00:54:57,535
Wait, so you will treat her?
1092
00:54:57,537 --> 00:55:00,469
I agree
to an initial examination.
1093
00:55:00,471 --> 00:55:03,105
- Yes!
- I am too much the softie.
1094
00:55:03,704 --> 00:55:05,105
Where is she now?
1095
00:55:11,270 --> 00:55:12,271
Penny?
1096
00:55:15,669 --> 00:55:18,869
Coming.
Just one second! One sec.
1097
00:55:18,871 --> 00:55:21,037
I've got
a surprise for ya.
1098
00:55:22,605 --> 00:55:24,935
- Thomas, where did you go?
- Yeah?
1099
00:55:24,937 --> 00:55:27,036
You'll never guess
who I found.
1100
00:55:27,038 --> 00:55:29,304
- Who?
- Who do you think?
1101
00:55:30,837 --> 00:55:34,205
It's Dr. Frederika
Schauffhaussen.
1102
00:55:35,669 --> 00:55:37,701
Oh, she can't believe it!
1103
00:55:37,703 --> 00:55:39,802
Believe it, Fraulein.
1104
00:55:39,804 --> 00:55:43,936
I am here to help you,
dear girl.
1105
00:55:43,938 --> 00:55:46,801
Dr. Schauffhaussen was having
dinner at the hotel tonight.
1106
00:55:46,803 --> 00:55:50,135
I saw her Insta post.
Isn't it incredible?
1107
00:55:50,137 --> 00:55:51,335
Incredible.
1108
00:55:51,337 --> 00:55:52,835
I must make
my assessment of the patient.
1109
00:55:52,837 --> 00:55:53,935
- Thomas?
- Yes?
1110
00:55:53,937 --> 00:55:55,438
I require a chair.
1111
00:55:58,004 --> 00:55:59,334
A warning.
1112
00:55:59,336 --> 00:56:02,437
My methods are unorthodox.
1113
00:56:03,769 --> 00:56:04,770
You understand?
1114
00:56:05,538 --> 00:56:06,801
- Yes.
- Thank you.
1115
00:56:06,803 --> 00:56:08,336
Remove your person
from the treatment space.
1116
00:56:08,338 --> 00:56:10,435
Oh. Okay, uh, here?
1117
00:56:15,937 --> 00:56:16,938
Sit.
1118
00:56:18,038 --> 00:56:21,969
So, you can see
absolutely nothing?
1119
00:56:21,971 --> 00:56:24,701
No shapes, no light, no color?
1120
00:56:24,703 --> 00:56:26,768
No, nothing at all.
That's what I said...
1121
00:56:26,770 --> 00:56:27,838
Silence!
1122
00:56:29,270 --> 00:56:30,470
Hey, I need that.
1123
00:56:30,472 --> 00:56:33,369
You will no longer use
this crutch of the mind.
1124
00:56:35,703 --> 00:56:38,438
Stubborn like the patient.
1125
00:56:40,803 --> 00:56:42,501
I see.
1126
00:56:42,503 --> 00:56:45,471
You do not, but I see.
1127
00:56:50,037 --> 00:56:51,505
Has the test started yet?
1128
00:56:52,104 --> 00:56:53,104
Impressive.
1129
00:56:53,971 --> 00:56:55,634
Okay, Penny.
1130
00:56:55,636 --> 00:56:57,170
How about this?
1131
00:57:07,069 --> 00:57:10,371
I am funneling the air
directly into your eye cavity.
1132
00:57:12,936 --> 00:57:14,767
My mouth hole is very narrow.
1133
00:57:14,769 --> 00:57:16,536
You should
not be feeling this.
1134
00:57:26,437 --> 00:57:28,204
I just smell salmon.
1135
00:57:30,902 --> 00:57:32,601
It's very interesting.
1136
00:57:32,603 --> 00:57:36,671
The body reacts,
but the mind does not.
1137
00:57:38,970 --> 00:57:41,834
Penny, I would like you
to have a little snack.
1138
00:57:41,836 --> 00:57:44,368
But you must guess the food
that you're eating, ja?
1139
00:57:44,370 --> 00:57:46,204
Yeah,
that sounds easy enough.
1140
00:57:52,004 --> 00:57:53,504
I will ready the snack.
1141
00:58:21,170 --> 00:58:22,302
Okay, Penny.
1142
00:58:22,304 --> 00:58:24,102
Here comes
the choo-choo train.
1143
00:58:24,104 --> 00:58:27,204
Open wide.
1144
00:58:27,803 --> 00:58:29,437
Aah...
1145
00:58:34,970 --> 00:58:36,868
What is that?
1146
00:58:36,870 --> 00:58:38,902
A french fry.
1147
00:58:38,904 --> 00:58:41,038
Mmm. Can I have another one?
1148
00:58:43,437 --> 00:58:45,701
You are
a very good blind person.
1149
00:58:45,703 --> 00:58:47,469
As such, you must surely know
1150
00:58:47,471 --> 00:58:50,034
the number of steps
between you and the door.
1151
00:58:50,036 --> 00:58:51,334
Uh-huh.
1152
00:58:51,336 --> 00:58:55,134
And the number from the door
to the elevator.
1153
00:58:55,136 --> 00:58:57,601
Because this is how the visually
impaired function in the world.
1154
00:58:57,603 --> 00:59:00,869
Otherwise you would be running
into things all the time, ja?
1155
00:59:00,871 --> 00:59:03,435
Yeah, I know all the steps.
1156
00:59:03,437 --> 00:59:04,437
Ja.
1157
00:59:05,170 --> 00:59:07,435
Okay, Penny.
1158
00:59:07,437 --> 00:59:08,602
I have opened the door.
1159
00:59:08,604 --> 00:59:10,934
An unobstructed path exists.
1160
00:59:10,936 --> 00:59:14,868
I want you to run
full-speed down hallway
1161
00:59:14,870 --> 00:59:17,136
and stop in front
of the elevator.
1162
00:59:17,138 --> 00:59:18,502
You can do this, then, ja?
1163
00:59:18,504 --> 00:59:20,701
Yeah, well, of course, then.
1164
00:59:20,703 --> 00:59:22,867
Yeah, it's pretty simple
for a blind person
1165
00:59:22,869 --> 00:59:25,500
to just run
in a straight line, so...
1166
00:59:26,603 --> 00:59:29,337
As fast as you can. Go!
1167
00:59:30,470 --> 00:59:32,636
- Um, now?
- Ja!
1168
00:59:39,436 --> 00:59:40,436
Penny!
1169
00:59:41,870 --> 00:59:43,437
I will take the case.
1170
00:59:57,138 --> 00:59:59,168
Come, Thomas,
I give you a tour.
1171
00:59:59,170 --> 01:00:00,171
Okay.
1172
01:00:01,504 --> 01:00:03,105
- Should we... Oh.
- Come.
1173
01:00:03,671 --> 01:00:05,101
Quickly now.
1174
01:00:05,103 --> 01:00:06,635
- But what about...
- Thank you.
1175
01:00:06,637 --> 01:00:07,969
Is this it?
1176
01:00:07,971 --> 01:00:10,101
Hello?
1177
01:00:10,103 --> 01:00:11,204
We're here?
1178
01:00:13,570 --> 01:00:15,104
Hello? Uh...
1179
01:00:18,003 --> 01:00:19,168
Oh, it's on.
1180
01:00:19,170 --> 01:00:21,600
Dr. Schauffhaussen,
about your fee.
1181
01:00:21,602 --> 01:00:23,335
I have to move
a few things around,
1182
01:00:23,337 --> 01:00:25,202
but I'll have it for you
really soon.
1183
01:00:25,204 --> 01:00:26,635
- Oh.
- Hey, guys?
1184
01:00:26,637 --> 01:00:29,704
I think somebody accidentally
locked the front door.
1185
01:00:30,970 --> 01:00:34,034
Guys? Guys, are you there?
1186
01:00:35,570 --> 01:00:37,501
Whoa! Uh, sorry!
1187
01:00:37,503 --> 01:00:40,434
I hope that wasn't a priceless
work of art or anything!
1188
01:00:40,436 --> 01:00:41,801
What if she gets hurt
out there?
1189
01:00:41,803 --> 01:00:44,602
This is precisely why
we do not intervene, Thomas.
1190
01:00:44,604 --> 01:00:47,367
Negative reinforcement
is the prescription.
1191
01:00:47,369 --> 01:00:50,468
It is our job, yours und mine,
1192
01:00:50,470 --> 01:00:51,702
- to have fun.
- Fun?
1193
01:00:51,704 --> 01:00:53,834
- Fun.
- Okay.
1194
01:00:53,836 --> 01:00:56,170
You're thinking
I am loony tune, ja?
1195
01:00:57,004 --> 01:00:59,935
- I am not.
- No?
1196
01:00:59,937 --> 01:01:02,968
If we do this in front
of Penny, have the fun,
1197
01:01:02,970 --> 01:01:05,500
she will want nothing
more than to join us
1198
01:01:05,502 --> 01:01:07,837
in our seeing fun.
1199
01:01:08,303 --> 01:01:09,668
Yeah.
1200
01:01:09,670 --> 01:01:12,504
Why do I smell clinical
strength lady douche wipes?
1201
01:01:13,670 --> 01:01:14,835
Oh.
1202
01:01:14,837 --> 01:01:16,471
Very strong.
1203
01:01:17,702 --> 01:01:20,969
No pity, Thomas. Only fun.
1204
01:01:20,971 --> 01:01:23,202
I also smell early menopause.
1205
01:01:23,204 --> 01:01:24,371
Now, the house.
1206
01:01:35,138 --> 01:01:37,168
Why are we doing this again?
1207
01:01:37,170 --> 01:01:40,002
Just as you take
Thomas's arm when we walk,
1208
01:01:40,004 --> 01:01:42,468
so you take my leash
when we ride.
1209
01:01:42,470 --> 01:01:44,468
That makes zero sense.
1210
01:01:44,470 --> 01:01:46,171
A hill approaches.
1211
01:01:50,303 --> 01:01:52,301
- Thank you so much.
- Thank you.
1212
01:01:52,303 --> 01:01:54,268
- Merci.
- Merci, merci.
1213
01:01:54,270 --> 01:01:56,102
This Cabernet.
Oh, I love this one.
1214
01:01:56,104 --> 01:01:58,335
It turns quite chewy,
1215
01:01:58,337 --> 01:02:01,268
- und you can really taste oak.
- Can I have some?
1216
01:02:01,270 --> 01:02:04,004
Oh. Of course, Penny.
You may have some of mine.
1217
01:02:05,003 --> 01:02:06,104
Oh.
1218
01:02:08,003 --> 01:02:10,168
Is there a glass here?
1219
01:02:10,170 --> 01:02:11,367
You may drink the wine
1220
01:02:11,369 --> 01:02:13,870
when you see the glass
well enough to seize it.
1221
01:02:18,269 --> 01:02:21,467
Oh. Oh, God. Did I spill
something just now?
1222
01:02:23,369 --> 01:02:25,035
Oh, I'm so clumsy.
1223
01:02:25,037 --> 01:02:28,101
Dr. Schauffhaussen,
um, let me help you.
1224
01:02:28,103 --> 01:02:29,867
Oh, no. I feel terrible.
1225
01:02:29,869 --> 01:02:31,603
Did I spill wine on your...
1226
01:02:45,369 --> 01:02:46,468
Waiter!
1227
01:02:58,637 --> 01:03:01,302
Uh, are you sure that
this is helping Penny?
1228
01:03:01,304 --> 01:03:04,301
Oh, trust me,
this is for Penny's sake.
1229
01:03:04,303 --> 01:03:05,367
Okay.
1230
01:03:05,369 --> 01:03:07,200
You should see us, Penny.
1231
01:03:07,202 --> 01:03:09,367
Thomas and I are dancing.
1232
01:03:09,369 --> 01:03:11,136
Oh, I wish I could.
1233
01:03:11,138 --> 01:03:14,501
But you can, Penny. You can.
1234
01:03:14,503 --> 01:03:16,267
Yeah, I could also
eat my own shit,
1235
01:03:16,269 --> 01:03:17,669
but I'm not doing that either.
1236
01:03:17,671 --> 01:03:20,704
It's okay, I'll just stand
here minding your bag.
1237
01:03:23,203 --> 01:03:26,101
She's got a fuzzbox
and knows how to use it.
1238
01:03:26,103 --> 01:03:27,267
Pardon?
1239
01:03:27,269 --> 01:03:28,868
Your friend with the bony ass
1240
01:03:28,870 --> 01:03:31,269
grinding away
on that poor boy.
1241
01:03:32,469 --> 01:03:33,634
Oh.
1242
01:03:33,636 --> 01:03:34,836
Yeah, I wouldn't mind so much.
1243
01:03:34,838 --> 01:03:36,901
It's just that he used to be
my boyfriend.
1244
01:03:36,903 --> 01:03:39,134
He was not!
1245
01:03:39,136 --> 01:03:40,667
And she's my best friend.
1246
01:03:40,669 --> 01:03:42,671
She is not!
1247
01:03:43,802 --> 01:03:45,168
Oh, my God.
1248
01:03:45,170 --> 01:03:48,868
Babe, you are, like,
actually blind.
1249
01:03:48,870 --> 01:03:50,367
Oh, babe.
1250
01:03:50,369 --> 01:03:52,268
Blind as in "can't see" blind?
1251
01:03:52,270 --> 01:03:55,001
It was when I lost my sight
that she moved in on him.
1252
01:03:55,003 --> 01:03:57,168
Shut up.
1253
01:03:57,170 --> 01:03:58,535
Watch us, Penny.
1254
01:03:58,537 --> 01:04:01,804
The way our bodies
move in unison.
1255
01:04:04,169 --> 01:04:05,635
So sensual.
1256
01:04:05,637 --> 01:04:08,301
Right. I'm hitting her
really hard in her vagina.
1257
01:04:08,303 --> 01:04:12,002
It's just if I could work out
some way to get him alone,
1258
01:04:12,004 --> 01:04:14,235
then maybe he wouldn't
call off the wedding.
1259
01:04:14,237 --> 01:04:16,635
You leave it with us,
all right? I mean,
1260
01:04:16,637 --> 01:04:18,200
we are practically
professionals,
1261
01:04:18,202 --> 01:04:19,701
my little blind poppet.
1262
01:04:19,703 --> 01:04:21,636
Girls, toilet.
1263
01:04:33,770 --> 01:04:36,202
That color looks boss on you.
1264
01:04:36,204 --> 01:04:37,437
Danke.
1265
01:04:42,270 --> 01:04:43,468
What is this?
1266
01:04:43,470 --> 01:04:45,869
It's a little thing
we invented called Varma.
1267
01:04:45,871 --> 01:04:47,135
Karma.
1268
01:04:47,137 --> 01:04:48,204
Karma.
1269
01:04:49,937 --> 01:04:51,100
Oh, it is on.
1270
01:04:51,102 --> 01:04:53,503
It is on like Kim Kardashian.
1271
01:04:55,703 --> 01:04:57,367
- Is that nice?
- Yeah, you want some?
1272
01:04:57,369 --> 01:04:59,268
- Oh, uh, yeah, sure.
- Oh, sorry.
1273
01:04:59,270 --> 01:05:00,468
Uh...
1274
01:05:00,470 --> 01:05:02,535
Yeah. Thank you.
1275
01:05:02,537 --> 01:05:05,100
Uh, it's kinda weird
that Dr. Schauffhaussen
1276
01:05:05,102 --> 01:05:07,167
just disappeared
like that, right?
1277
01:05:07,169 --> 01:05:09,500
Germans are so spontaneous.
1278
01:05:09,502 --> 01:05:13,001
It's probably just part of her
crazy treatment plan.
1279
01:05:13,003 --> 01:05:15,502
Yeah, don't give up
on that, Penny, okay?
1280
01:05:15,504 --> 01:05:16,834
I mean, I know that it's hard,
1281
01:05:16,836 --> 01:05:19,467
but there's so much that
you deserve to see.
1282
01:05:19,469 --> 01:05:20,868
Like this view,
1283
01:05:20,870 --> 01:05:22,667
and these lights,
1284
01:05:22,669 --> 01:05:24,101
and the face you make
1285
01:05:24,103 --> 01:05:25,501
when you think
I'm being a dork.
1286
01:05:25,503 --> 01:05:27,200
What, this one?
1287
01:05:27,202 --> 01:05:29,603
Yeah, that one.
1288
01:05:30,202 --> 01:05:31,368
But that one...
1289
01:05:31,370 --> 01:05:33,268
- That one's my favorite.
- What?
1290
01:05:33,270 --> 01:05:35,471
- That one.
- No, what?
1291
01:05:36,035 --> 01:05:37,735
Shut up.
1292
01:05:37,737 --> 01:05:39,434
Well, you'll just
have to take my word for it.
1293
01:05:39,436 --> 01:05:42,500
As the sole sighted person
between us,
1294
01:05:42,502 --> 01:05:44,269
you're beautiful, Penny.
1295
01:05:47,537 --> 01:05:50,135
Anyway, I'm sure
Dr. Schauffhaussen's gonna
1296
01:05:50,137 --> 01:05:52,001
break out
the big psychological guns
1297
01:05:52,003 --> 01:05:54,934
once I actually
give her the fee.
1298
01:05:54,936 --> 01:05:58,667
Oh, um, yeah, about that.
I was gonna say to you,
1299
01:05:58,669 --> 01:06:00,435
is it possible
to give me the money
1300
01:06:00,437 --> 01:06:03,267
and then I'll just give it
to Dr. Schauffhaussen?
1301
01:06:03,269 --> 01:06:06,434
- Oh.
- I know this will sound silly,
1302
01:06:06,436 --> 01:06:09,335
but it would just make me feel
like I'm less of a charity case.
1303
01:06:09,337 --> 01:06:12,001
Totally. I completely
understand. I, um...
1304
01:06:12,003 --> 01:06:16,334
I just have to, uh,
sell the last of my stock.
1305
01:06:16,336 --> 01:06:18,801
Wait, don't you own, like,
the whole company?
1306
01:06:18,803 --> 01:06:21,700
You're, like, so rich.
1307
01:06:21,702 --> 01:06:23,334
- No.
- No?
1308
01:06:23,336 --> 01:06:24,634
No. Um...
1309
01:06:24,636 --> 01:06:27,268
The algorithm
for YaBurnt was mine,
1310
01:06:27,270 --> 01:06:30,001
but the seed investors
actually bought me out.
1311
01:06:30,003 --> 01:06:31,268
Yeah, for how much?
1312
01:06:31,270 --> 01:06:33,168
A cool million.
1313
01:06:33,170 --> 01:06:37,200
Um, but I only have
400,000 left.
1314
01:06:37,202 --> 01:06:40,968
Uh, but it's okay. My nana's gonna...
She's gonna loan me the rest.
1315
01:06:40,970 --> 01:06:44,268
So, after you pay the
Dr. Schauffhaussen fee, you'd be broke?
1316
01:06:44,270 --> 01:06:45,834
Yeah, but it's fine.
1317
01:06:45,836 --> 01:06:47,768
Because I have
a lot of good ideas,
1318
01:06:47,770 --> 01:06:48,970
and hoodies are cheap.
1319
01:06:49,703 --> 01:06:50,802
I don't get it though.
1320
01:06:50,804 --> 01:06:52,368
Why would you
bankrupt yourself
1321
01:06:52,370 --> 01:06:54,500
for someone
you don't even know?
1322
01:06:54,502 --> 01:06:56,134
Like, I'm a stranger.
1323
01:06:56,136 --> 01:06:59,334
Well, my nana...
1324
01:06:59,336 --> 01:07:00,934
My nana always said
that the best thing
1325
01:07:00,936 --> 01:07:02,467
money can do is good.
1326
01:07:02,469 --> 01:07:04,536
And you getting
to see again is good.
1327
01:07:06,369 --> 01:07:08,871
Plus, you're not a stranger.
1328
01:07:09,837 --> 01:07:11,103
You're Penny.
1329
01:07:12,303 --> 01:07:13,504
Yes, I am.
1330
01:07:25,337 --> 01:07:26,671
Honey, I'm home.
1331
01:07:28,537 --> 01:07:29,934
Oh, please.
1332
01:07:29,936 --> 01:07:34,535
You think I can't handle
the Real Housewives of Essex?
1333
01:07:34,537 --> 01:07:37,035
It took a considerable
amount of limoncello
1334
01:07:37,037 --> 01:07:38,634
and several rounds
of arm wrestling,
1335
01:07:38,636 --> 01:07:40,270
but c'est la vie.
1336
01:07:41,137 --> 01:07:42,634
The bet's off, Jo.
1337
01:07:42,636 --> 01:07:44,135
Oh, don't go, Penny.
1338
01:07:44,137 --> 01:07:45,968
You've taught me
so much about love.
1339
01:07:45,970 --> 01:07:47,368
We need to find another mark.
1340
01:07:47,370 --> 01:07:49,101
No, absolutely not.
1341
01:07:49,103 --> 01:07:50,334
I have had about
as much of this
1342
01:07:50,336 --> 01:07:52,303
absurd interlude with you
as I can bear.
1343
01:07:55,135 --> 01:07:56,969
Those are decorative.
1344
01:07:58,337 --> 01:07:59,501
He's a good guy, Jo.
1345
01:07:59,503 --> 01:08:01,535
That's a moxy-noron, Pen.
1346
01:08:01,537 --> 01:08:03,634
Okay, you know,
back in the day
1347
01:08:03,636 --> 01:08:05,535
when I was just catfishing,
1348
01:08:05,537 --> 01:08:09,000
there was always this one
moment where I would decide,
1349
01:08:09,002 --> 01:08:10,637
"I'm gonna take your money."
1350
01:08:11,536 --> 01:08:13,034
And it wasn't when they fell
1351
01:08:13,036 --> 01:08:16,100
for the superficial
hot girl bait
1352
01:08:16,102 --> 01:08:19,001
or when they texted dick pics
like complete animals.
1353
01:08:19,003 --> 01:08:21,867
It was when
we'd meet up in person
1354
01:08:21,869 --> 01:08:23,604
and I'd come in
1355
01:08:24,269 --> 01:08:25,504
and he'd just
1356
01:08:26,769 --> 01:08:28,336
look at me like that.
1357
01:08:32,669 --> 01:08:35,170
And that's when I'd decide
to rob him blind.
1358
01:08:37,137 --> 01:08:40,201
But when Thomas looks at me,
he doesn't do that.
1359
01:08:40,203 --> 01:08:42,534
He's just different.
1360
01:08:42,536 --> 01:08:44,233
He's a genuinely nice person.
1361
01:08:44,235 --> 01:08:46,102
Yeah, but we're not
nice women, Penny, are we?
1362
01:08:46,104 --> 01:08:47,968
And this isn't
a likability contest.
1363
01:08:47,970 --> 01:08:49,534
Lucky for you, 'cause I'd win.
1364
01:08:49,536 --> 01:08:50,634
Would you?
1365
01:08:50,636 --> 01:08:52,770
Please.
Thomas loves me.
1366
01:09:25,094 --> 01:09:27,258
He loves you?
1367
01:09:27,260 --> 01:09:29,492
Like, I mean he'll do
whatever I want.
1368
01:09:29,494 --> 01:09:31,928
Well, then it appears
we have our solution.
1369
01:09:35,662 --> 01:09:38,892
If you don't have
the stomach to take money
1370
01:09:38,894 --> 01:09:40,728
from your darling Thomas,
1371
01:09:41,996 --> 01:09:43,694
darling Thomas
becomes the bet.
1372
01:09:43,696 --> 01:09:45,660
But I thought
you didn't nail your marks.
1373
01:09:45,662 --> 01:09:48,159
Evidently, we must up the ante
in this little game of ours.
1374
01:09:48,161 --> 01:09:50,358
Unless, of course,
you feel you're outmatched.
1375
01:09:50,360 --> 01:09:53,059
Please.
Guys love asses,
1376
01:09:53,061 --> 01:09:55,596
but not when there's something
already stuck up there.
1377
01:09:56,762 --> 01:09:58,527
Then we're agreed.
1378
01:09:58,529 --> 01:10:00,529
Thomas is the bet.
1379
01:10:01,027 --> 01:10:02,028
Yeah.
1380
01:10:04,895 --> 01:10:05,928
Yeah.
1381
01:10:08,761 --> 01:10:10,527
Well, okay.
1382
01:10:10,529 --> 01:10:11,893
I should really get to bed,
1383
01:10:11,895 --> 01:10:14,926
'cause I've got such a big day
of seduction tomorrow.
1384
01:10:14,928 --> 01:10:16,893
Oh, absolutely.
1385
01:10:16,895 --> 01:10:18,325
How about a bedtime story?
1386
01:10:18,327 --> 01:10:20,662
- Oh, no, that's not necessary.
- Albert!
1387
01:10:23,327 --> 01:10:25,726
Oh. Hi.
1388
01:10:25,728 --> 01:10:28,193
- Thank you.
- Oh, that's not good.
1389
01:10:28,195 --> 01:10:30,058
I do so admire their spirit.
1390
01:10:30,060 --> 01:10:31,592
Less so their spray tans.
1391
01:10:31,594 --> 01:10:32,693
Ladies.
1392
01:10:35,327 --> 01:10:36,992
All right, my babe.
1393
01:10:36,994 --> 01:10:37,995
Ah.
1394
01:10:40,161 --> 01:10:42,858
Oh, so you thought
you could play us, yeah?
1395
01:10:42,860 --> 01:10:43,959
Ladies, I can explain.
1396
01:10:43,961 --> 01:10:46,559
Babes, this is not
a good situation for you.
1397
01:10:46,561 --> 01:10:48,093
My cousin's got the blinds
1398
01:10:48,095 --> 01:10:49,258
- from the diabetes.
- Diabetes.
1399
01:10:49,260 --> 01:10:51,426
Don't go to the hotel now, Jo.
1400
01:10:51,428 --> 01:10:54,225
Give it the night. He'll be
more energetic in the morning.
1401
01:10:54,227 --> 01:10:55,659
Oh,
you're not going anywhere.
1402
01:10:55,661 --> 01:10:57,726
Ladies, pass me the superglue.
1403
01:11:06,927 --> 01:11:09,026
- Thomas.
- Dr. Schauffhaussen.
1404
01:11:09,028 --> 01:11:10,893
Please...
1405
01:11:10,895 --> 01:11:12,925
Call me Frederika.
1406
01:11:12,927 --> 01:11:14,425
Okay.
1407
01:11:14,427 --> 01:11:16,927
Oh, God. I'm sorry.
1408
01:11:17,927 --> 01:11:19,027
Come on in.
1409
01:11:19,561 --> 01:11:20,661
Um...
1410
01:11:28,728 --> 01:11:29,729
Thank you.
1411
01:11:31,093 --> 01:11:33,727
A little treat for us.
1412
01:11:33,729 --> 01:11:36,527
We've been working so hard
for sweet Penny.
1413
01:11:36,529 --> 01:11:40,026
We deserve to be
a little selfish, ja?
1414
01:11:40,028 --> 01:11:41,860
Some say these
are an aphrodisiac.
1415
01:11:41,862 --> 01:11:43,193
- Oh, no, thank...
- Oh!
1416
01:11:43,195 --> 01:11:45,225
Oh, God.
I'm so sorry, Doctor...
1417
01:11:45,227 --> 01:11:47,060
No! I got it.
It's fine, it's fine.
1418
01:11:47,062 --> 01:11:48,661
I got it, I got it. It's...
1419
01:12:03,293 --> 01:12:04,295
Thank you.
1420
01:12:07,328 --> 01:12:08,559
Thomas...
1421
01:12:08,561 --> 01:12:10,461
I must be candid.
1422
01:12:11,494 --> 01:12:13,795
I'm here
under false pretenses.
1423
01:12:15,860 --> 01:12:17,495
- You are?
- Ja.
1424
01:12:20,494 --> 01:12:21,561
Okay.
1425
01:12:28,762 --> 01:12:33,159
I hope
this isn't inappropriate,
1426
01:12:33,161 --> 01:12:35,392
but would you help me
with mein coding?
1427
01:12:35,394 --> 01:12:36,659
"Mein coding"?
1428
01:12:36,661 --> 01:12:38,725
Ja, I'm having trouble
with my website.
1429
01:12:38,727 --> 01:12:40,692
- Oh, coding!
- Hmm.
1430
01:12:40,694 --> 01:12:43,326
Yeah, sure. What seems
to be the problem?
1431
01:12:43,328 --> 01:12:44,362
Well...
1432
01:12:45,495 --> 01:12:48,825
When I use JavaScript,
the HTTP crawler
1433
01:12:48,827 --> 01:12:50,893
is not scraping
the metadata correctly
1434
01:12:50,895 --> 01:12:53,492
and I am losing
the CSS properties.
1435
01:12:53,494 --> 01:12:57,561
Well, did you try parsing the
CSS separately using regex?
1436
01:13:00,061 --> 01:13:01,725
I did not.
1437
01:13:01,727 --> 01:13:02,729
Hmm.
1438
01:13:08,361 --> 01:13:11,459
Fixed! Well, it's been
a really long day.
1439
01:13:11,461 --> 01:13:14,358
I'm exhausted, so I'm gonna...
1440
01:13:14,360 --> 01:13:18,192
Are you aware that
it is a full moon tonight?
1441
01:13:18,194 --> 01:13:19,892
Ah.
1442
01:13:19,894 --> 01:13:22,791
I love to feel the air
on my skin.
1443
01:13:22,793 --> 01:13:24,894
Right. Aren't you
kinda cold though?
1444
01:13:29,028 --> 01:13:30,693
What are you doin'?
1445
01:13:30,695 --> 01:13:33,358
I feel reckless tonight,
Thomas.
1446
01:13:33,360 --> 01:13:35,529
Okay, that's not funny.
Can you come inside now?
1447
01:13:36,494 --> 01:13:38,359
If I fell, would you catch me?
1448
01:13:38,361 --> 01:13:39,526
Stop it.
1449
01:13:39,528 --> 01:13:40,529
Don't.
1450
01:13:41,095 --> 01:13:42,095
Don't!
1451
01:13:44,094 --> 01:13:45,927
Oh!
1452
01:13:46,561 --> 01:13:47,625
Thomas.
1453
01:13:47,627 --> 01:13:49,225
- Dr. Schauffhaussen...
- Frederika.
1454
01:13:49,227 --> 01:13:50,857
You've taught me so much
about discipline...
1455
01:13:50,859 --> 01:13:52,025
I can teach you more.
1456
01:13:52,027 --> 01:13:53,693
- ...and integrity.
- Ja, sure.
1457
01:13:53,695 --> 01:13:56,191
I think we should keep things
professional between us.
1458
01:13:56,193 --> 01:13:58,561
- Aw...
- For Penny's sake.
1459
01:14:01,695 --> 01:14:02,761
For Penny's sake?
1460
01:14:05,694 --> 01:14:06,828
Of course.
1461
01:14:08,427 --> 01:14:09,894
Well, I'll just...
1462
01:14:12,194 --> 01:14:13,195
Go.
1463
01:14:24,327 --> 01:14:25,395
Auf Wiedersehen.
1464
01:14:27,995 --> 01:14:28,962
Wait.
1465
01:14:39,561 --> 01:14:41,860
Mmm. Thomas.
1466
01:14:44,494 --> 01:14:48,758
Oh. Albert? Albert.
Hey, man.
1467
01:14:48,760 --> 01:14:50,693
Um... Just a shot in the dark.
1468
01:14:50,695 --> 01:14:53,728
Do you happen to have
superglue remover?
1469
01:14:57,028 --> 01:14:58,728
Holy crap.
How did you have that?
1470
01:14:59,493 --> 01:15:00,925
Yeah, that's awesome.
1471
01:15:00,927 --> 01:15:02,429
Yes. Legend.
1472
01:15:03,429 --> 01:15:04,429
Uh...
1473
01:15:05,361 --> 01:15:06,461
Albert?
1474
01:15:07,693 --> 01:15:09,395
Oh, come on,
that's just cruel!
1475
01:15:26,429 --> 01:15:28,895
Ow!
1476
01:15:37,726 --> 01:15:39,693
Hey, you. Hey.
1477
01:15:39,695 --> 01:15:41,559
Do you know who
Josephine Chesterfield is?
1478
01:15:41,561 --> 01:15:43,026
Or Dr. Schauffhaussen?
1479
01:15:43,028 --> 01:15:44,759
Oui, mademoiselle.
We know all her aliases.
1480
01:15:44,761 --> 01:15:46,227
She's very generous.
1481
01:15:46,860 --> 01:15:47,928
Uh...
1482
01:15:49,694 --> 01:15:52,159
Hmm? All right,
so was she here last night?
1483
01:15:52,161 --> 01:15:54,559
Oui, with the tech boy.
1484
01:15:54,561 --> 01:15:57,195
Damn it. Okay, um...
1485
01:15:58,160 --> 01:15:59,659
Well, wait. When she left,
1486
01:15:59,661 --> 01:16:03,492
did she seem, like,
you know, satisfied?
1487
01:16:03,494 --> 01:16:05,924
Like, you know, like,
she'd got some?
1488
01:16:05,926 --> 01:16:07,825
- Oh, no.
- No?
1489
01:16:07,827 --> 01:16:09,261
She hasn't left yet.
1490
01:16:33,527 --> 01:16:37,060
Yeah, I know you won.
I'm getting outta here.
1491
01:16:37,062 --> 01:16:39,425
Uh... What did I...
What did I win?
1492
01:16:39,427 --> 01:16:42,025
Thomas,
what are you doing here?
1493
01:16:42,027 --> 01:16:45,027
I'm here
to say goodbye.
1494
01:16:46,327 --> 01:16:48,692
Where's Dr. Schauffhaussen,
then?
1495
01:16:48,694 --> 01:16:51,060
Um... I don't know.
1496
01:16:51,062 --> 01:16:53,825
This morning,
she kind of left in a hurry
1497
01:16:53,827 --> 01:16:56,162
and now I have to go.
1498
01:16:57,261 --> 01:16:59,026
The investors are, um,
1499
01:16:59,028 --> 01:17:00,092
they're flying me home.
1500
01:17:00,094 --> 01:17:01,625
I just needed to say,
1501
01:17:01,627 --> 01:17:03,892
Penny, you're the one genuine,
1502
01:17:03,894 --> 01:17:05,860
good thing that happened
to me here.
1503
01:17:10,527 --> 01:17:12,194
Anyway, um...
1504
01:17:14,227 --> 01:17:15,227
Bye, Penny.
1505
01:17:22,228 --> 01:17:23,728
Thomas, wait! Don't go!
1506
01:17:35,193 --> 01:17:36,529
Penny!
1507
01:17:37,761 --> 01:17:39,859
Oh, my God!
Penny, are you okay?
1508
01:17:39,861 --> 01:17:41,991
This has been a brutal week.
1509
01:17:46,162 --> 01:17:47,127
Dick.
1510
01:17:49,660 --> 01:17:52,861
Wait, Penny,
could you just see Albert?
1511
01:17:53,861 --> 01:17:54,960
Uh...
1512
01:17:54,962 --> 01:17:57,095
Did you just look at me?
Can you see me?
1513
01:17:58,826 --> 01:18:00,393
Is your hair brownish?
1514
01:18:00,395 --> 01:18:02,062
Yes! Yes, it is!
1515
01:18:03,227 --> 01:18:04,326
Wait, Penny.
1516
01:18:04,328 --> 01:18:05,857
Can you read that?
1517
01:18:05,859 --> 01:18:07,493
No, that's in French.
1518
01:18:07,495 --> 01:18:09,259
Oh. Sorry.
1519
01:18:09,261 --> 01:18:10,691
What about this?
1520
01:18:10,693 --> 01:18:13,525
"Social anxiety. You're not
the problem, the world is."
1521
01:18:13,527 --> 01:18:15,693
Yes! Penny, you can see!
1522
01:18:15,695 --> 01:18:17,425
I can finally see your face!
1523
01:18:17,427 --> 01:18:20,558
- Oh, that's probably a bummer.
- No, come off it!
1524
01:18:20,560 --> 01:18:23,358
- You got such a nice face.
- Oh.
1525
01:18:23,360 --> 01:18:26,225
I guess
Dr. Schauffhaussen's money
1526
01:18:26,227 --> 01:18:27,627
was put to good use, huh?
1527
01:18:29,260 --> 01:18:31,491
What do you mean?
1528
01:18:31,493 --> 01:18:33,658
You didn't give her
the 500,000, did you?
1529
01:18:33,660 --> 01:18:34,925
Yeah, of course.
1530
01:18:34,927 --> 01:18:36,892
I wanted to make sure that
your treatment continued.
1531
01:18:36,894 --> 01:18:39,260
No, no. But that was
all that you had.
1532
01:18:39,262 --> 01:18:42,658
It was worth
every penny, Penny.
1533
01:18:45,928 --> 01:18:47,859
Wait a minute.
I don't understand.
1534
01:18:47,861 --> 01:18:50,259
You're giving me $500,000?
1535
01:18:50,261 --> 01:18:52,025
My sister just won
the lottery in Australia.
1536
01:18:52,027 --> 01:18:54,058
And she used my birthday
and my bra size,
1537
01:18:54,060 --> 01:18:55,259
so she owes me.
1538
01:18:55,261 --> 01:18:57,491
I can't let you cover
my medical expenses.
1539
01:18:57,493 --> 01:18:59,994
Well, regardless,
I cannot accept this.
1540
01:19:01,894 --> 01:19:03,691
Thomas, no, I insist.
1541
01:19:03,693 --> 01:19:04,927
Well, I resist.
1542
01:19:07,594 --> 01:19:10,393
Stop. It's a $2 transaction
fee every time.
1543
01:19:10,395 --> 01:19:12,892
Oh, shit. Well,
it's in your account now.
1544
01:19:12,894 --> 01:19:14,329
No take-backs.
1545
01:19:16,261 --> 01:19:17,358
Okay.
1546
01:19:17,360 --> 01:19:18,394
Penny...
1547
01:19:19,727 --> 01:19:21,926
Do you wanna come?
1548
01:19:21,928 --> 01:19:24,259
- Come with me.
- I'm not coming with you.
1549
01:19:24,261 --> 01:19:25,362
Why not?
1550
01:19:26,559 --> 01:19:28,262
'Cause you don't know me.
1551
01:19:29,694 --> 01:19:31,095
Not the real me.
1552
01:19:32,561 --> 01:19:34,859
Well, I'd like to,
1553
01:19:34,861 --> 01:19:36,594
if you ever change your mind.
1554
01:19:45,861 --> 01:19:46,861
All right.
1555
01:19:56,261 --> 01:19:57,692
What have you done?
1556
01:19:57,694 --> 01:19:59,359
How could you let him leave?
1557
01:19:59,361 --> 01:20:00,659
What are you
talking about?
1558
01:20:00,661 --> 01:20:01,959
You won the bet.
1559
01:20:01,961 --> 01:20:04,025
Stop!
1560
01:20:04,027 --> 01:20:07,692
Come back! Come back!
Come back! No! No!
1561
01:20:10,560 --> 01:20:14,724
Aw, the plane didn't
stop for the crazy lady.
1562
01:20:14,726 --> 01:20:15,958
Here she comes.
1563
01:20:15,960 --> 01:20:20,794
Walk of shame. Walk of shame.
Walk of shame.
1564
01:20:21,694 --> 01:20:23,225
Last night I went to his room
1565
01:20:23,227 --> 01:20:25,092
and, yes,
I tried to seduce him.
1566
01:20:25,094 --> 01:20:26,425
And I thought I was
getting somewhere, too,
1567
01:20:26,427 --> 01:20:27,726
because he turned out
the lights,
1568
01:20:27,728 --> 01:20:29,891
but it was only to show me
a PowerPoint presentation
1569
01:20:29,893 --> 01:20:31,225
all about his new app.
1570
01:20:31,227 --> 01:20:32,691
Once he had
finished his pitch,
1571
01:20:32,693 --> 01:20:34,191
I assumed we'd go to bed.
1572
01:20:34,193 --> 01:20:36,059
Then he said
he's bit of a germophobe,
1573
01:20:36,061 --> 01:20:38,425
so would I mind
taking a shower,
1574
01:20:38,427 --> 01:20:40,025
and I was insulted,
1575
01:20:40,027 --> 01:20:42,425
but I complied
for the sake of the bet.
1576
01:20:42,427 --> 01:20:44,692
And when I emerged, he was
gone, my clothes were gone,
1577
01:20:44,694 --> 01:20:46,093
my jewelry,
my phone, my laptop,
1578
01:20:46,095 --> 01:20:48,461
even my limited edition
Jimmy Choos!
1579
01:20:50,995 --> 01:20:53,394
Come off it.
1580
01:20:54,227 --> 01:20:55,558
You expect me to believe
1581
01:20:55,560 --> 01:20:58,992
that that kind guy tried to
jack your Jimmy Choos
1582
01:20:58,994 --> 01:21:01,425
when he just
returned to me $500,000
1583
01:21:01,427 --> 01:21:02,428
that I tried to give him?
1584
01:21:04,861 --> 01:21:07,193
Why did you give him $500,000?
1585
01:21:07,195 --> 01:21:09,658
Because that's the amount
you stole from him.
1586
01:21:09,660 --> 01:21:10,893
No!
1587
01:21:10,895 --> 01:21:12,691
That is what I'm saying,
tits for brains!
1588
01:21:12,693 --> 01:21:14,059
I didn't steal from him.
1589
01:21:14,061 --> 01:21:16,661
I invested in his app!
1590
01:21:17,327 --> 01:21:18,391
How much?
1591
01:21:18,393 --> 01:21:21,592
$500,000.
1592
01:21:22,861 --> 01:21:23,995
It's from Thomas.
1593
01:21:24,561 --> 01:21:26,259
No!
1594
01:21:26,261 --> 01:21:28,193
Let me see! Let me see!
1595
01:21:28,195 --> 01:21:29,657
"Penny, I honestly meant
what I said just now,
1596
01:21:29,659 --> 01:21:30,825
but here's the thing.
1597
01:21:30,827 --> 01:21:33,325
Con artists make
the best marks of all.
1598
01:21:33,327 --> 01:21:36,557
I was taught that by my nana.
Or as you may know her...
1599
01:21:36,559 --> 01:21:37,925
Medusa."
1600
01:21:40,260 --> 01:21:41,524
That means...
1601
01:21:41,526 --> 01:21:43,558
You're Thomas's nana.
1602
01:21:43,560 --> 01:21:46,457
- Oh, you sick perv!
- No! Christ, Penny!
1603
01:21:46,459 --> 01:21:48,357
Clearly, Thomas's nana
was Medusa,
1604
01:21:48,359 --> 01:21:50,826
and she passed the torch on to
him and now he's the new Medusa.
1605
01:21:50,828 --> 01:21:52,425
What is wrong with you?
1606
01:21:52,427 --> 01:21:54,794
He didn't transfer me
the Bitcoin back.
1607
01:21:56,661 --> 01:21:58,425
He still has my 500,000.
1608
01:21:58,427 --> 01:22:00,461
And my 500,000.
1609
01:22:02,493 --> 01:22:05,595
Did we just give that boy
a million dollars?
1610
01:22:06,794 --> 01:22:09,825
Are you kidding me?
1611
01:22:09,827 --> 01:22:11,824
- Of all the lying...
- No!
1612
01:22:11,826 --> 01:22:13,692
...two-faced, conniving,
1613
01:22:13,694 --> 01:22:15,692
- cheating, slimy...
- Dude, are you serious?
1614
01:22:15,694 --> 01:22:16,825
...millennial bastard
hacker grifter...
1615
01:22:16,827 --> 01:22:17,891
I'm so angry
and horny right now!
1616
01:22:17,893 --> 01:22:19,491
...shit-stain assholes,
1617
01:22:19,493 --> 01:22:21,062
he is the worst!
1618
01:22:27,094 --> 01:22:30,195
But he is kinda awesome,
too, right?
1619
01:22:52,561 --> 01:22:56,758
Albert, I'm sorry for calling
your balls skeletal.
1620
01:22:56,760 --> 01:22:58,895
I know there's nothing
hard down there.
1621
01:22:59,460 --> 01:23:00,528
Suck it.
1622
01:23:12,028 --> 01:23:14,324
Thanks for letting me
stay the extra two weeks.
1623
01:23:14,326 --> 01:23:16,126
One more than agreed upon.
1624
01:23:16,128 --> 01:23:18,659
Yeah, it was cozy, wasn't it?
1625
01:23:18,661 --> 01:23:20,261
Mmm!
1626
01:23:23,193 --> 01:23:25,061
What will
your next chapter be?
1627
01:23:26,327 --> 01:23:29,692
I was thinking
of going to Thailand.
1628
01:23:29,694 --> 01:23:31,357
Maybe Bangkok
1629
01:23:31,359 --> 01:23:32,995
or Phuket.
1630
01:23:35,260 --> 01:23:36,891
Phuket.
1631
01:23:36,893 --> 01:23:38,992
No, that's not how you say it.
1632
01:23:46,561 --> 01:23:48,091
What's this?
1633
01:23:48,093 --> 01:23:51,791
It's your cut of the
"Lord of the Rings" con.
1634
01:23:51,793 --> 01:23:54,492
- Oh!
- Minus expenses, of course.
1635
01:23:54,494 --> 01:23:57,691
Wardrobe, catering,
prosthetics, et cetera.
1636
01:23:57,693 --> 01:24:00,324
And the cost of the vases
that you broke.
1637
01:24:00,326 --> 01:24:02,026
And the plumbing issues
I caused.
1638
01:24:02,028 --> 01:24:03,894
- What?
- Hmm?
1639
01:24:15,159 --> 01:24:16,227
Au revoir.
1640
01:24:22,561 --> 01:24:25,492
Yello! Make a hole,
people. Make a hole.
1641
01:24:25,494 --> 01:24:27,192
'Scuse me, comin' through.
1642
01:24:27,194 --> 01:24:29,191
Come on, Ritchie
comin' through, baby.
1643
01:24:29,193 --> 01:24:31,559
'Scuse me, 'scuse me.
Thank you very much.
1644
01:24:31,561 --> 01:24:33,726
Okay, yeah.
Thank you very much.
1645
01:24:33,728 --> 01:24:35,591
All right. Okay.
1646
01:24:35,593 --> 01:24:37,392
Intros.
1647
01:24:37,394 --> 01:24:39,190
Cathy! Cathy, baby,
you get that
1648
01:24:39,192 --> 01:24:40,693
rock-hard caboose
up here this minute.
1649
01:24:40,695 --> 01:24:42,058
Ritchie, slow down!
1650
01:24:42,060 --> 01:24:43,659
I have to catch my breath.
1651
01:24:43,661 --> 01:24:44,725
Oh, shut it, doll.
1652
01:24:44,727 --> 01:24:46,659
You're in mint condition
and you know it.
1653
01:24:46,661 --> 01:24:49,224
Okay, so here's the story.
1654
01:24:49,226 --> 01:24:52,859
I was showing Cathy here
some luxury property in Capri,
1655
01:24:52,861 --> 01:24:54,258
when I realized
that this lady's
1656
01:24:54,260 --> 01:24:55,892
got some high-class taste.
1657
01:24:55,894 --> 01:24:58,059
And I don't just mean
for real estate, nope.
1658
01:24:58,061 --> 01:24:59,925
Cathy's an animal lover, see,
1659
01:24:59,927 --> 01:25:02,559
but she doesn't just like
regular doggies and birdies.
1660
01:25:02,561 --> 01:25:06,258
She likes special furry
friends who are maybe, oh,
1661
01:25:06,260 --> 01:25:08,224
a little illegal.
Is that right, Cathy?
1662
01:25:08,226 --> 01:25:10,726
Yes it is. Now, Cathy, what is
it you wanted to start?
1663
01:25:10,728 --> 01:25:12,725
It was a monastery
or something?
1664
01:25:12,727 --> 01:25:15,324
A rare animal sanctuary
and spa.
1665
01:25:15,326 --> 01:25:16,526
I love it.
1666
01:25:16,528 --> 01:25:17,826
So I say to Cathy,
1667
01:25:17,828 --> 01:25:19,257
"You'll have to meet
my friends."
1668
01:25:19,259 --> 01:25:20,791
We hopped in the dinghy,
1669
01:25:20,793 --> 01:25:23,060
we set sail, and here we are!
1670
01:25:23,062 --> 01:25:26,325
Cathy, I want y'all to meet
South Africa's
1671
01:25:26,327 --> 01:25:30,025
most celebrated and discreet
endangered species dealer,
1672
01:25:30,027 --> 01:25:32,393
Imka Bekker.
1673
01:25:41,028 --> 01:25:42,426
Say, what's wrong, Imka?
1674
01:25:42,428 --> 01:25:44,428
Exotic cat got your tongue?
1675
01:25:47,761 --> 01:25:49,593
No.
1676
01:25:49,595 --> 01:25:51,059
Howzit, Cathy?
1677
01:25:51,061 --> 01:25:54,225
It's such a pleasure to meet
a fellow wildlife enthusiast.
1678
01:25:54,227 --> 01:25:55,758
I love the springboks, myself.
1679
01:25:55,760 --> 01:25:57,026
Oh! Me too. Me too.
1680
01:25:57,028 --> 01:25:58,926
Look at me
being a total jackass.
1681
01:25:58,928 --> 01:26:02,224
I forgot to introduce Imka's
right-hand woman.
1682
01:26:02,226 --> 01:26:04,425
Ladies and gentlemen,
if y'all ever need
1683
01:26:04,427 --> 01:26:07,058
a crocodile just wrestled
into submission,
1684
01:26:07,060 --> 01:26:09,594
Sheila Malarkey is your gal.
1685
01:26:11,161 --> 01:26:13,725
Oh, but Sheila lost
her tongue tragically
1686
01:26:13,727 --> 01:26:18,494
to a very small but ferocious
red-crested wombat.
1687
01:26:19,660 --> 01:26:21,193
God bless her soul.
1688
01:26:21,995 --> 01:26:24,192
Shame.
1689
01:26:24,194 --> 01:26:26,861
She can sign, though.
Can't you, Sheila?
1690
01:26:28,526 --> 01:26:30,161
Yes.
1691
01:26:30,928 --> 01:26:32,428
Yes, she can.
1692
01:26:38,260 --> 01:26:40,725
- Okey-dokey.
- Yoh. Okay, okay.
1693
01:26:40,727 --> 01:26:41,858
What's she saying?
1694
01:26:41,860 --> 01:26:42,925
Okey-dokey.
1695
01:26:42,927 --> 01:26:44,591
She says, everyone, please,
1696
01:26:44,593 --> 01:26:48,525
up to the house and please
enjoy some of her ice cream.
1697
01:26:48,527 --> 01:26:49,725
That's right,
ladies and gentlemen.
1698
01:26:49,727 --> 01:26:50,892
Who likes ice cream?
1699
01:26:50,894 --> 01:26:52,159
I scream, you scream.
1700
01:26:52,161 --> 01:26:54,224
Everybody follow me,
ladies and gentlemen.
1701
01:26:54,226 --> 01:26:56,092
We're headin' up this
stone path, right here.
1702
01:26:56,094 --> 01:26:57,292
Cathy, take this.
1703
01:26:57,294 --> 01:26:59,192
Everybody, look at Cathy.
She's the alpha dog.
1704
01:26:59,194 --> 01:27:01,525
I want you to follow her
all the way up.
1705
01:27:01,527 --> 01:27:03,826
Keep going! At the top,
you're gonna find a little penguin man.
1706
01:27:03,828 --> 01:27:05,593
He's gonna spark the fuse
on the barbecue, baby,
1707
01:27:05,595 --> 01:27:08,157
'cause we're havin'
red meat, baby!
1708
01:27:20,194 --> 01:27:22,991
This year I made $6 million.
1709
01:27:22,993 --> 01:27:24,391
So far.
1710
01:27:24,393 --> 01:27:25,560
Impressive.
1711
01:27:26,260 --> 01:27:27,726
How irritating.
1712
01:27:27,728 --> 01:27:30,759
But together,
we could make so much more.
1713
01:27:30,761 --> 01:27:33,091
So much more.
1714
01:27:33,093 --> 01:27:36,357
You guys are fantastic
at what you do.
1715
01:27:36,359 --> 01:27:39,325
My nana would
absolutely love you.
1716
01:27:39,327 --> 01:27:41,191
The three of us...
1717
01:27:41,193 --> 01:27:43,226
that'd be one hell of a team.
1718
01:27:50,393 --> 01:27:51,758
You played me.
1719
01:27:51,760 --> 01:27:56,328
Penny, the only thing I never
lied about was you.
1720
01:28:07,728 --> 01:28:08,827
Listen...
1721
01:28:10,328 --> 01:28:12,392
First million pays us back.
1722
01:28:12,394 --> 01:28:14,826
The second million
will be your apology.
1723
01:28:14,828 --> 01:28:17,257
Yeah, and if you ever
double-cross us again,
1724
01:28:17,259 --> 01:28:20,025
I withhold sex
for a whole year.
1725
01:28:20,027 --> 01:28:21,225
Or six months.
1726
01:28:21,227 --> 01:28:24,091
No, let's go with 24 hours.
1727
01:28:24,093 --> 01:28:25,491
For like...
1728
01:28:25,493 --> 01:28:29,058
Until midmorning,
I will not be open as a shop.
1729
01:28:29,060 --> 01:28:30,359
- You done?
- Okay.
1730
01:28:30,361 --> 01:28:32,259
So don't cross us ever again.
1731
01:28:32,261 --> 01:28:33,692
Deal.
1732
01:28:33,694 --> 01:28:35,994
So, are we doin' this?
1733
01:28:45,428 --> 01:28:47,159
Come on!
They went down this way.
1734
01:28:47,161 --> 01:28:48,161
Hurry up!
1735
01:28:56,693 --> 01:28:58,524
Damn it! We lost them.
1736
01:28:58,526 --> 01:29:00,692
How could you lose them?
1737
01:29:00,694 --> 01:29:03,358
How could you
give 'em £200,000?
1738
01:29:03,360 --> 01:29:06,191
Uh, designer nipples
are not cheap.
1739
01:29:06,193 --> 01:29:08,192
Plus, that's like
500 American dollars.
1740
01:29:08,194 --> 01:29:10,925
- It really isn't.
- Hey! Hey, buddy!
1741
01:29:10,927 --> 01:29:13,258
Did you see two women
run by here a minute ago?
1742
01:29:13,260 --> 01:29:16,826
Oh, uh, yeah,
with massive wads of cash?
1743
01:29:16,828 --> 01:29:17,924
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1744
01:29:17,926 --> 01:29:19,191
Uh, they ran that way.
1745
01:29:19,193 --> 01:29:20,890
Well, let's go!
1746
01:29:20,892 --> 01:29:23,560
Come on!
Radio for backup or somethin'.
1747
01:29:34,494 --> 01:29:37,261
Lucky Christmas dress,
you did it again.
1748
01:29:40,593 --> 01:29:42,691
I must say, Penny,
1749
01:29:42,693 --> 01:29:45,394
these outfits
are terribly clever.
1750
01:29:46,727 --> 01:29:48,127
Old but gold.
1751
01:29:50,060 --> 01:29:52,359
Happy Christmas.
1752
01:29:52,361 --> 01:29:53,658
Thomas, I got you a present.
1753
01:29:53,660 --> 01:29:54,891
Thank you, Santa.
1754
01:29:54,893 --> 01:29:56,560
Oh, I'm still here.
1755
01:30:09,672 --> 01:30:13,312
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
1756
01:33:27,526 --> 01:33:29,824
Hortense, is that
what that's used for?
1757
01:33:29,826 --> 01:33:31,691
I don't see any butter
on that knife.
1758
01:33:31,693 --> 01:33:34,690
Now, Enrique, you were saying
that even though you yourself
1759
01:33:34,692 --> 01:33:37,723
have benefited economically
from immigrating to America,
1760
01:33:37,725 --> 01:33:40,058
you don't feel
any additional Guatemalans
1761
01:33:40,060 --> 01:33:41,590
should be allowed
into Palm Beach?
1762
01:33:41,592 --> 01:33:44,358
Yes, I believe we're at the
tipping point in this moment...
1763
01:33:44,360 --> 01:33:46,159
What ist thou looking at?
1764
01:33:46,161 --> 01:33:48,525
Stop skulking in the corner.
1765
01:33:48,527 --> 01:33:51,857
Thy had thy hand
on Rosalind's bosom!
1766
01:33:51,859 --> 01:33:53,391
Dost thou deny it?
1767
01:33:53,393 --> 01:33:55,557
Oh, sweet Hortense
had her suitor's body exhumed
1768
01:33:55,559 --> 01:33:57,393
the day after he was trampled.
1769
01:33:58,092 --> 01:33:59,590
It's folly, though.
1770
01:33:59,592 --> 01:34:01,191
The family
will never accept him.
1771
01:34:01,193 --> 01:34:03,258
You just don't like him
because he's black.
1772
01:34:03,260 --> 01:34:06,024
Sister, may I please sing
my song now?
1773
01:34:06,026 --> 01:34:07,691
Ooh, yes, of course,
darling, of course.
1774
01:34:07,693 --> 01:34:10,556
Hortense has written a song
to celebrate our engagement.
1775
01:34:10,558 --> 01:34:12,158
Isn't that marvelous?
1776
01:34:12,160 --> 01:34:13,958
No, wait, I wanted the lute.
1777
01:34:13,960 --> 01:34:15,558
It is the lute.
1778
01:34:15,560 --> 01:34:16,560
Hmm.
1779
01:34:18,893 --> 01:34:22,494
All right, this is
a Hortense original.
1780
01:34:32,259 --> 01:34:33,358
♪ Wedding! ♪
1781
01:34:37,160 --> 01:34:38,161
♪ Death! ♪
1782
01:34:41,692 --> 01:34:44,626
She had the finest
tutors, but you can't teach talent.
1783
01:34:46,526 --> 01:34:48,026
Bon appetit!