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Okay.
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It's blog time.
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I am a mommy blogger.
I am a mommy blogger.
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Get ready, world, for some pearls of wisdom,
coming at you right now.
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So here we go!
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I got three followers.
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Yesterday I had four, so that's awesome.
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My audience awaits.
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It's 5:00 a.m.
Do you know where your children are?
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Mine are in bed.
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I should be in bed. It's Mother's Day.
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But I'm not. Wanna know why?
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Because I'm a clean freak!
I am talking freaky, deaky, Dutch.
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If you were to lock me away in a white room,
in a straitjacket,
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it would actually feel comforting.
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As long as the walls were spotless
and nobody wore shoes.
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I can actually feel the house getting dirty.
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Like I have nerve endings in the carpet.
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And it affects me. Wanna know how?
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First, I feel distracted.
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"Distracted."
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D-I-S... What was I...
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So, see, like right now, I'm thinking of
the cleaning supplies I left out
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and how one of the kids is gonna get up
and drink Clorox
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and then I'd end up having to call
Poison Control, and they'd say,
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"Sorry, Mrs. Field, too many times
this month." And take my kids away.
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Too many times this month, Ms. Field.
We're here to take your children away.
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I've played it all out.
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I'm sure you've played this all out.
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Which is kind of morbid.
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After I feel distracted, I feel stressed.
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Then I have a moment.
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Mom!
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Mommy!
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I am talking to Daddy!
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This is me having a moment
with my daughter.
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Hon, about the stress level.
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-What?
-Well, it's a little high.
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-The kind of psycho thing you just did...
-Did you just call me psycho?
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-No! No. No. No.
-Did you just call me psycho?
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It was a little psycho.
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This is me having a moment with
some helpless newlyweds.
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We just wanted to say congratulations!
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And savor this moment in your life!
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So when I started to speak,
I thought it would help.
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But then the words just
started coming out of me like lava.
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Because you're gonna blink,
seriously, like, blink
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and it's all gonna be over
and replaced with just volume, like...
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-Mom!
-Amazing, amazing beautiful volume...
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Look at that. Look at that look on her face.
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That's the look of a girl
whose fairytale just ended.
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I murdered it. I am a fairytale murderer.
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You can only take so much before you crack!
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-Don't.
-No.
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I'm like the Bruce Banner
of stay-at-home moms.
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He doesn't want to turn into the Hulk.
It just happens.
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Which is exactly how I feel.
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I love my kids.
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I love my husband.
My minivan, my minivan is awesome.
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I have this incredible life.
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So, why do I feel this way?
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Mom!
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Mom!
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Mommy!
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Surprise! We made you eggs!
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With sugar!
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Mother's happy day!
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I should be happy that
they're making me breakfast.
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Instead, all I see is salmonella.
Salmonella everywhere.
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On the floor, on the counter, on my children.
I'm a salmonella-phobe.
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Last week this happened to a doll
and I burned it!
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Okay, so I didn't realize that
that was Bailey's favorite doll,
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and I do feel bad about that.
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We're gonna play a little game!
Everybody freeze!
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Beck, no. Do not put that...
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Oh, no. No, no, he's gonna eat it.
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He'll put that in his mouth and become
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one of the estimated 400 people that
die from acute salmonella poisoning,
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which I read about on a blog somewhere.
Yeah, okay. I gotta go.
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Do not put that finger in your...
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Hello, may Field's residence, please?
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Well, how about you try,
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"This is the Fields' residence.
How may I help you?"
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Daddy!
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Hey, is Mommy there?
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Mom! Phone!
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Wow.
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Bailey, I'm up here!
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Beck? Beck?
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Here's Daddy.
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Hello? Hey, hon.
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Sean, please tell me
you're on a flight right now.
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It's Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day.
That's where we should have started.
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Yes, thank you. Fine. I just...
Why I need you on a flight...
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-That's all right.
-Yes, baby.
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-They canceled three flights on me.
-Mommy, I made you this.
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The airlines are taking care of it.
I got a direct flight. Hello?
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You made this for me?
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-You wanna know why you're so big?
-Why?
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Because you love us the most of everybody.
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Where's Daddy?
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Up in the plane in the sky,
where he always is.
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Ouch. That's not right.
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Mom! Beck's playing in the toilet again!
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No, no, no. Not the potty.
Not the potty! Not the potty!
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It's fine.
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Beck!
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Sean, I don't know.
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I'm thinking maybe I don't wanna celebrate
Mother's Day ever again.
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Why would you say that?
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Because I am terrible at this,
in every single way.
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So just do not celebrate me!
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What? Come on.
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You are an awesome mom.
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The kids are messy, you know.
Kids get messy.
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I ran out of space,
so I did the rest on the wall.
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On the wall? She's writing on the wall?
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What kind of markers is she using?
The come-off kind? Hello?
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You got kids? Want mine?
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Now that's a mom.
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Talk about perfect.
Oh, yeah, I bet she has a nanny.
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Okay, everybody, best behavior.
It's Mother's Day.
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Mommy, let me do it.
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No, baby.
We're running really late today, okay?
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Let me!
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Mom, slow down.
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Walk with me, Zoe. Just walk and talk.
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But, Mom,
you're, like, the fastest person on Earth.
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This is Sondra.
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My Catcher in the Rye. My crutch.
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My Dr. Phil, Oprah and Gandalf
all rolled into one ball of goodness.
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Her only perceived flaw is that
she has no idea what auto-correct is.
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No. No, no, that's not what I...
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Technology!
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Mom, it's really... It's just a dance
and there's gonna be some laser lights
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and some glow sticks and that's it.
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A rave is not a dance. Trust your mother.
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But, Mom, a lot of the kids from church are...
They're even...
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-I don't care! I don't care!
-Seriously?
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-Come on, have a heart.
-Zoe!
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Mom, you always do this.
You're gonna murder my social life.
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Well, maybe it deserves to die.
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You know you're not allowed to date
until you're 17, so we have a winner.
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Yeah, and a loser.
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I have "Preacher's Kid"
stamped on my forehead.
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There you are.
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-Did you find my notes?
-Yeah, right there.
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Perfect. Where'd you find them?
I looked everywhere.
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-I'll just take that.
-What's wrong with that one?
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Video guy says your tie is strobing,
so this one will be better.
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Okay. Notes were on your desk, corner pile.
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-Hey, Dad.
-Hey.
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You were so awesome in the first service
and I was just wondering what...
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Sweetheart, I know what you're doing,
but we've already talked and we agree.
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Points for trying, though.
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I didn't even get a fair shot.
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-Love you.
-Love you.
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Good morning.
Somebody has a birthday, right?
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Nice to see you.
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Come here.
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-Hey, did you get that recipe I sent?
-Yes. Thank you.
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Good. Good. Nice to see you.
Thank you so much for coming.
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Hey, Ally, hey. You having a rough morning?
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Sondra, just tell me it's all gonna be okay.
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It's all gonna be okay.
Just give it five years and you'll be...
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-Years?
-Seven or five...
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Do you want me to help you with the kids?
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Brandon! Buddy, what are you doing?
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-Do you need some help?
-No, I've come this far.
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-I am going to finish this.
-Okay.
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Let's go. Let's go. This way. This way.
Around. Around. Let's go.
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Good morning, y'all! How is everyone?
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-Great.
-Great.
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Sondra. You are such an inspiration to me.
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And you. You are so blessed
to have her as your mother.
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I am just so blessed.
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Let go. Let go, let go, let go!
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This is my best friend, Izzy.
We pretty much do everything together.
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In grade school she was wild and popular,
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and I was an introvert with braces.
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And this is Marco, her husband.
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He's always had three irrational fears,
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luchadores, biker gangs and small children.
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This makes him
particularly vulnerable at Halloween.
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Trick or treat!
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Izzy!
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-They're talking to me again.
-Doing fine, babe!
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I'm just supposed to check them in.
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-Hey!
-What?
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Don't kill the messenger,
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but the Sunday school coordinator said
to remember your number this time.
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Yes. Yes. Okay, fine. Just please,
please don't page me over something trivial.
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The fire department didn't think it was trivial.
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Izzy, look at me.
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I just...
I need one hour to myself on Mother's Day.
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Please.
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Like, like, me with 20 toddlers.
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Thank you. You're a servant.
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And fix the eye. It's really weird, even for me.
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Where is it?
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Come on. Come on.
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All right.
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Well, okay.
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Work. Work!
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00:11:05,629 --> 00:11:08,799
Why won't you work? Come on!
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Psalm 127 says that
children are a blessing from the Lord.
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00:11:45,302 --> 00:11:46,428
Excuse me, can I get...
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That's why the position of mother
is a high calling
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and one that should be honored
and protected.
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And let's be honest,
I know what you're thinking.
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00:11:53,686 --> 00:11:57,440
"Should I be happy when my child
shoves a Fruit Roll-Up in the DVD player?"
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What are you doing? What are you doing?
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Sorry. Can I have my shoe?
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00:12:04,115 --> 00:12:05,116
Thank you.
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00:12:05,159 --> 00:12:07,995
I know for some of you,
Mother's Day can be hard.
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00:12:08,247 --> 00:12:12,585
If you're like my wife, Mother's Day is
when you examine all your efforts
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and wonder whether it's worth it when
you have to sacrifice so much.
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Okay.
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Or whether you're having an impact at all
when that teen rebels,
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or whether you're really a good mother
by some measure that
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00:12:23,170 --> 00:12:25,797
you've created in your own mind.
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So as we get started today,
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-what I want to say to every mother here...
-Allyson.
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Look, I know you didn't want to be paged,
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but Beck has an especially large head
and those are especially small potties.
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But good news. We found a screwdriver.
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I mean, we got the seat off the toilet,
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00:12:41,582 --> 00:12:44,042
but we don't know
how to get it off Beck's head.
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What?
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In a moment, our music...
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Our music minister's gonna come
and lead us in song.
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And we're gonna continue the worship.
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-Okay.
-We're gonna continue.
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00:13:02,843 --> 00:13:03,844
Whoa.
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00:13:09,502 --> 00:13:10,670
Hey, hon?
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00:13:11,908 --> 00:13:13,076
Ally?
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00:13:25,387 --> 00:13:26,388
Hey.
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00:13:28,315 --> 00:13:31,235
-You're home. Hi.
-What happened?
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00:13:32,126 --> 00:13:34,545
Just taking a little break.
240
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Mommy time.
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00:13:36,940 --> 00:13:39,443
-Okay.
-I ate the whole bag.
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00:13:39,748 --> 00:13:41,625
-Yeah? That's okay.
-Yeah.
243
00:13:41,633 --> 00:13:43,552
-Yeah.
-Okay.
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Seriously, the whole bag?
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Actually, I'm hiding.
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00:13:48,292 --> 00:13:49,668
From what?
247
00:13:49,697 --> 00:13:51,073
The house.
248
00:13:52,063 --> 00:13:54,858
-It's awful. It's awful.
-It's not awful. No, it's not.
249
00:13:54,831 --> 00:13:56,541
-It's bad.
-So bad.
250
00:13:56,516 --> 00:13:59,144
No, it's bad, but it's not awful.
251
00:13:59,083 --> 00:14:00,918
I mean, some of it's awful.
252
00:14:04,258 --> 00:14:05,592
What do you got going over here?
253
00:14:05,782 --> 00:14:07,283
Sondra posted this.
254
00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:10,967
I can't stop watching. And I don't know why.
255
00:14:13,002 --> 00:14:14,170
Weird.
256
00:14:20,263 --> 00:14:21,890
Happy Mother's Day.
257
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:28,743
It's really sweet.
258
00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:31,103
What? Hon.
259
00:14:31,736 --> 00:14:34,072
-They're just flowers.
-Okay, okay.
260
00:14:34,063 --> 00:14:37,733
I'm gonna... I'm gonna get up and clean.
I'm gonna get up and clean.
261
00:14:37,633 --> 00:14:40,427
I'm gonna... I'm gonna go right now.
262
00:14:41,724 --> 00:14:43,101
'Kay, here we go.
263
00:14:48,263 --> 00:14:49,556
Nothing's happening.
264
00:14:51,392 --> 00:14:53,060
I'm stress-paralyzed.
265
00:14:54,722 --> 00:14:56,599
I don't think that's a thing.
266
00:14:58,652 --> 00:15:03,824
It might be a thing. I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I just... I need...
267
00:15:03,707 --> 00:15:04,834
I just need a second.
268
00:15:04,950 --> 00:15:06,702
I don't think you're fine.
269
00:15:07,718 --> 00:15:10,429
I love these shoes!
270
00:15:13,174 --> 00:15:17,219
I haven't worn these in, like, two years.
271
00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:21,795
Well, they're good shoes.
272
00:15:23,002 --> 00:15:26,339
They make my legs look so good!
273
00:15:26,252 --> 00:15:28,337
Honey. Come on.
274
00:15:29,621 --> 00:15:32,207
I'm okay, I'm gonna be fine.
275
00:15:32,148 --> 00:15:34,942
-It's okay, we'll make it okay.
-Okay.
276
00:15:35,197 --> 00:15:38,033
-I wanna go to sleep.
-Okay.
277
00:15:42,778 --> 00:15:45,489
-I love you.
-I love you, too.
278
00:15:46,710 --> 00:15:49,755
Just... Just sleep here for a little while.
279
00:15:54,933 --> 00:15:56,393
That's like an eagle, right?
280
00:15:57,460 --> 00:15:59,920
Not again with the bird.
281
00:16:01,552 --> 00:16:04,805
-You're watching a bird!
-It's live. I might miss something.
282
00:16:05,162 --> 00:16:08,415
Y'all, it changed me.
283
00:16:08,452 --> 00:16:11,997
I mean, it is profound.
284
00:16:12,303 --> 00:16:17,600
I mean, I only read the introduction,
but it is revolutionary in my life.
285
00:16:17,638 --> 00:16:21,016
Reading books is something I aspire to,
but I have three kids.
286
00:16:21,008 --> 00:16:23,427
So, yeah, I don't read books.
287
00:16:23,414 --> 00:16:26,250
But being in a book club
makes me feel like I read books.
288
00:16:26,503 --> 00:16:28,129
I can feel it.
289
00:16:28,268 --> 00:16:32,981
Every time I go to the mall
there's a parking space right out in front.
290
00:16:32,962 --> 00:16:36,382
There's never a parking space
right there in the front.
291
00:16:36,331 --> 00:16:39,501
But there is, y'all, every time.
292
00:16:43,151 --> 00:16:46,696
Come on! Play with me!
293
00:16:49,288 --> 00:16:50,289
What?
294
00:16:50,291 --> 00:16:52,293
It's not like pretty music at all.
It's hot in there.
295
00:16:52,296 --> 00:16:53,297
Help!
296
00:16:53,339 --> 00:16:55,800
I'm talking about the new mall.
297
00:16:56,147 --> 00:16:57,899
It's The Favor.
298
00:17:03,969 --> 00:17:05,429
Take some of your old recipes
and just rip them up.
299
00:17:10,107 --> 00:17:12,776
You just zero in on
what store's got the best bargains.
300
00:17:12,754 --> 00:17:15,173
And come on,
when you're happy and got a bargain,
301
00:17:15,162 --> 00:17:17,122
your husband's gonna be happy
about the savings.
302
00:17:21,258 --> 00:17:25,763
It can help you find
that red pair of pumps you need.
303
00:17:28,078 --> 00:17:29,955
It's kind of shopping karma.
304
00:17:33,814 --> 00:17:36,776
Emma, remember we went
and bought those prom dresses out there?
305
00:17:43,924 --> 00:17:45,384
I get the sale of the century,
and you wanna know why?
306
00:17:47,494 --> 00:17:48,954
It's The Favor.
307
00:17:48,978 --> 00:17:50,021
Amen?
308
00:17:50,020 --> 00:17:51,188
Yes, sister!
309
00:17:51,946 --> 00:17:54,783
Oh, Sondra. That is just... Thank you.
310
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:56,200
That was...
311
00:17:56,881 --> 00:18:00,551
Would anyone else like to share? Anything?
Okay, well...
312
00:18:00,451 --> 00:18:03,579
We didn't even get to talk about
when there is a discount involved.
313
00:18:35,912 --> 00:18:37,830
He's going to love this.
314
00:18:39,562 --> 00:18:40,730
Hey, honey.
315
00:18:40,846 --> 00:18:43,223
-Hey.
-Daddy!
316
00:18:43,213 --> 00:18:44,214
Check this out.
317
00:18:45,177 --> 00:18:46,512
Whoa.
318
00:18:47,465 --> 00:18:51,719
Yeah, she said she wanted to be an artist
when she grew up. So...
319
00:18:51,717 --> 00:18:53,761
Wow! That is awesome.
320
00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:55,511
You know what? You got a lot of talent.
321
00:18:55,647 --> 00:18:57,524
This wall could be
worth something someday.
322
00:18:57,693 --> 00:18:58,736
Okay, here you go.
323
00:19:01,063 --> 00:19:02,064
All right.
324
00:19:02,667 --> 00:19:05,503
You know what I wanted to be
when I was a boy?
325
00:19:05,556 --> 00:19:07,767
A basketball player.
326
00:19:08,283 --> 00:19:09,451
Don't laugh.
327
00:19:09,567 --> 00:19:14,405
There is a proud tradition of white,
short basketball players.
328
00:19:15,183 --> 00:19:16,351
What is this?
329
00:19:16,628 --> 00:19:19,964
This... This is a house that
your daddy's making.
330
00:19:19,917 --> 00:19:21,085
Isn't it so beautiful?
331
00:19:21,562 --> 00:19:24,148
Is that a window?
332
00:19:24,129 --> 00:19:25,130
Yeah, it is.
333
00:19:25,132 --> 00:19:28,302
If you move it over here,
then you can see the pool.
334
00:19:31,350 --> 00:19:33,060
I'm gonna go play. See you.
335
00:19:33,035 --> 00:19:34,703
-Okay.
-Okay, see you, babe.
336
00:19:36,324 --> 00:19:37,408
Interesting.
337
00:19:37,446 --> 00:19:39,657
You know what I wanted when I was a kid?
338
00:19:40,175 --> 00:19:41,217
What?
339
00:19:43,424 --> 00:19:44,425
This.
340
00:19:47,716 --> 00:19:49,593
I wanted to be a mom.
341
00:19:50,364 --> 00:19:52,949
Marry a wonderful man, and I did.
342
00:19:54,054 --> 00:19:57,474
Have beautiful babies and raise them,
and I did. I am.
343
00:20:00,713 --> 00:20:02,382
I don't get it, Sean.
344
00:20:03,882 --> 00:20:07,344
This was my dream. I am literally living it
345
00:20:09,097 --> 00:20:10,891
and I'm not happy.
346
00:20:14,111 --> 00:20:16,739
-Why do I feel like this?
-I don't know.
347
00:20:19,687 --> 00:20:22,982
-I'm a horrible person.
-No. No, you're not a horrible person.
348
00:20:22,896 --> 00:20:24,106
Just tired.
349
00:20:25,303 --> 00:20:26,429
Sorry.
350
00:20:27,068 --> 00:20:30,196
You don't have to be sorry, all right?
You don't have to be sorry.
351
00:20:30,117 --> 00:20:32,327
You have to choose
to do something for yourself.
352
00:20:32,323 --> 00:20:33,575
Do something for yourself.
353
00:20:33,687 --> 00:20:35,438
You have to do it.
You're the only one who can do that.
354
00:20:35,532 --> 00:20:38,368
-Sean. But...
-It's the kind of thing that if you just...
355
00:20:38,461 --> 00:20:41,506
-Sean, I don't need a lecture right now.
-What? This is not a lecture.
356
00:20:41,469 --> 00:20:44,222
-This is not helpful in this particular moment.
-I'm not lecturing you.
357
00:20:44,197 --> 00:20:47,242
Honey, I'm listening to you.
I'm sitting here and I am listening to you.
358
00:20:47,205 --> 00:20:49,040
I know, I know you're listening.
359
00:20:49,051 --> 00:20:50,219
And I'm hearing you.
360
00:20:52,179 --> 00:20:56,058
You doing both of those things?
Listening and hearing?
361
00:20:55,990 --> 00:20:57,242
I am. I'm very talented.
362
00:20:57,234 --> 00:20:58,319
-You are talented.
-Yes, I am.
363
00:20:58,357 --> 00:21:00,443
I'm showing marked improvement.
You have to give me that.
364
00:21:00,443 --> 00:21:01,945
-I'm... I...
-I want credit.
365
00:21:02,609 --> 00:21:03,902
Who is that?
366
00:21:04,735 --> 00:21:06,278
That'll be Bridget.
367
00:21:06,380 --> 00:21:07,381
What?
368
00:21:07,423 --> 00:21:10,843
Yeah, I called Bridget
and invited her to dinner, and then I forgot.
369
00:21:10,752 --> 00:21:11,753
Dinner?
370
00:21:11,796 --> 00:21:12,838
-Yeah.
-Open up, you community of losers.
371
00:21:12,879 --> 00:21:14,839
-I'm hungry.
-It's okay. Just...
372
00:21:14,884 --> 00:21:17,553
You know, it's fine.
We'll just whip something up.
373
00:21:17,652 --> 00:21:19,404
-We'll just whip something up?
-Yeah.
374
00:21:19,377 --> 00:21:22,380
Yeah, 'cause that's usually
how that happens. We do it together.
375
00:21:22,346 --> 00:21:25,974
Looking forward to whipping something up
with you, together.
376
00:21:25,916 --> 00:21:26,959
Wind it up! Whoop, whoop!
377
00:21:26,999 --> 00:21:28,292
This is Sean's half-sister, Bridget.
378
00:21:28,884 --> 00:21:31,720
Bridget says awkward things.
Bridget has no filter.
379
00:21:31,692 --> 00:21:33,402
Hey, I'm not done with that!
380
00:21:33,577 --> 00:21:34,787
Give it back.
381
00:21:36,145 --> 00:21:38,397
So, great news. I got a new job.
382
00:21:38,431 --> 00:21:40,641
We needed a little more,
383
00:21:40,597 --> 00:21:42,849
so I picked up a night shift
at a bowling alley.
384
00:21:42,924 --> 00:21:44,092
Cool.
385
00:21:45,171 --> 00:21:47,048
That is unbelievably cool.
386
00:21:47,096 --> 00:21:49,974
Oh, no. Here it comes. She knows
I compulsively take care of people.
387
00:21:54,437 --> 00:21:55,688
I can't say no.
388
00:21:55,841 --> 00:21:58,803
I start on Saturday night and I was hoping
you could watch Phoenix while I work.
389
00:21:59,371 --> 00:22:00,622
Saturday night?
390
00:22:01,055 --> 00:22:02,473
Yeah, normally, yes.
391
00:22:02,500 --> 00:22:06,879
But I'm actually glad you brought that up
because I planned this moms' night thing.
392
00:22:07,795 --> 00:22:09,047
-You what?
-For Saturday.
393
00:22:09,681 --> 00:22:11,808
-You planned a moms' night?
-I did. I planned one.
394
00:22:12,850 --> 00:22:14,768
You always babysit Phoenix
on the weekends.
395
00:22:14,775 --> 00:22:18,570
I was sort of counting on you
when I got the job.
396
00:22:18,466 --> 00:22:20,051
Yeah...
397
00:22:21,273 --> 00:22:25,319
You know when a flight attendant
goes through the safety thing?
398
00:22:25,526 --> 00:22:28,695
You know when they say
you have to put on your oxygen mask first
399
00:22:28,655 --> 00:22:30,657
-before assisting others?
-Are we flying somewhere?
400
00:22:30,620 --> 00:22:33,206
-Is this what we're...
-Yeah. Yeah, you need your oxygen mask.
401
00:22:33,187 --> 00:22:36,857
You have to have your mask on
before assisting others.
402
00:22:37,079 --> 00:22:40,415
-Right? Before you can help others!
-Wow, Sean. We get it!
403
00:22:40,368 --> 00:22:42,495
It's a metaphor. I think we both... We got it.
404
00:22:42,494 --> 00:22:44,746
It's a very good metaphor.
Thank you for pointing that out.
405
00:22:44,740 --> 00:22:45,866
You're welcome.
406
00:22:45,864 --> 00:22:47,532
-You will go...
-Saturday.
407
00:22:47,548 --> 00:22:49,467
-Saturday night. You will go Saturday night.
-Saturday night.
408
00:22:49,434 --> 00:22:51,895
-Saturday night? Really?
-Saturday night. It's Saturday.
409
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:56,178
Oh, no! Sean can't play video games
on Saturday night with his loser friends.
410
00:22:56,133 --> 00:22:58,469
First of all, that's low.
You don't even know Kevin.
411
00:22:58,419 --> 00:22:59,754
I know Kevin.
412
00:22:59,783 --> 00:23:01,535
Kevin is Sean's friend.
413
00:23:01,548 --> 00:23:03,842
Sean met Kevin when
they were in the fifth grade.
414
00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:07,246
They started playing video games
as juveniles.
415
00:23:07,726 --> 00:23:10,520
They still play video games like juveniles.
416
00:23:11,056 --> 00:23:15,226
-Don't stand right behind me, move over!
-No, no, no, no, no. Back up, back up.
417
00:23:15,107 --> 00:23:16,150
I just died.
418
00:23:16,551 --> 00:23:17,927
Kevin hates kids.
419
00:23:17,954 --> 00:23:20,123
-Well, I hate kids.
-You don't hate kids.
420
00:23:20,121 --> 00:23:21,372
I hate kids.
421
00:23:21,404 --> 00:23:23,198
Somehow Sean justifies this relationship.
422
00:23:23,330 --> 00:23:25,749
No, I didn't shoot you.
The guy behind you shot you.
423
00:23:25,857 --> 00:23:30,487
I use video games to transition
from work stress. That's my oxygen!
424
00:23:30,751 --> 00:23:34,297
I put mine on, video,
I can help you put yours on,
425
00:23:34,201 --> 00:23:36,078
and then you can help the rest of the world.
426
00:23:36,207 --> 00:23:37,375
Thank you.
427
00:23:38,293 --> 00:23:40,503
Who's gonna watch the baby?
What about Joey?
428
00:23:41,221 --> 00:23:44,183
Joey is Bridget's ex. He's a fun guy.
429
00:23:44,992 --> 00:23:47,745
In a non-committal,
allergic to all responsibility kind of way.
430
00:23:47,679 --> 00:23:49,473
No. I tried that.
431
00:23:49,645 --> 00:23:54,567
Here's the thing, you're going out
and I'm gonna watch Phoenix.
432
00:23:54,418 --> 00:23:56,212
-You're gonna watch Phoenix?
-I will watch Phoenix.
433
00:23:56,183 --> 00:23:58,686
Big brother to the rescue once again
and everybody's happy.
434
00:23:59,071 --> 00:24:02,992
I don't need your charity
and I certainly don't need your metaphors.
435
00:24:02,963 --> 00:24:04,048
So I'm gonna go
436
00:24:04,287 --> 00:24:07,832
get you to bed
'cause that's the responsible thing to do.
437
00:24:07,777 --> 00:24:09,988
'Cause I'm so responsible.
438
00:24:10,103 --> 00:24:11,104
Later.
439
00:24:11,226 --> 00:24:12,227
See you later.
440
00:24:13,673 --> 00:24:15,967
Look for your oxygen! You'll find it!
441
00:24:19,169 --> 00:24:21,255
Thought that went well.
442
00:24:21,215 --> 00:24:24,844
And also, Marco's bringing the twins over
because he's afraid to watch them alone.
443
00:24:24,786 --> 00:24:27,538
-What?
-Surprise! Sorry.
444
00:24:28,556 --> 00:24:29,724
That's a lot of kids.
445
00:25:15,650 --> 00:25:16,776
Wow.
446
00:25:19,822 --> 00:25:21,157
Wow, honey,
447
00:25:21,948 --> 00:25:23,700
you look amazing.
448
00:25:24,034 --> 00:25:26,870
Are you sure tonight's okay?
Because I'm starting to feel guilty again...
449
00:25:26,963 --> 00:25:28,339
-It's fine!
-That's okay?
450
00:25:28,366 --> 00:25:29,659
-Come on! Yes!
-Okay.
451
00:25:29,690 --> 00:25:30,941
You're gonna have fun, all right?
452
00:25:30,973 --> 00:25:32,099
-I've got this, all right?
-Okay.
453
00:25:32,137 --> 00:25:34,306
I'm not gonna call you unless
there's a natural disaster
454
00:25:34,303 --> 00:25:35,805
and then I might not even call you, okay?
455
00:25:35,827 --> 00:25:39,080
The house could be flying,
I'm not calling you at that point.
456
00:25:38,997 --> 00:25:40,332
-Promise me you'll do one thing.
-Okay.
457
00:25:41,083 --> 00:25:44,503
Promise me that
you'll do whatever it takes to...
458
00:25:44,572 --> 00:25:48,576
To unplug and just breathe.
459
00:25:50,750 --> 00:25:52,126
I promise.
460
00:25:57,810 --> 00:25:58,936
Kevin!
461
00:26:01,380 --> 00:26:02,548
Allyson.
462
00:26:02,664 --> 00:26:05,083
-Kevin?
-Yeah, Kevin's coming.
463
00:26:05,070 --> 00:26:07,156
-What?
-He's gonna help with the kids.
464
00:26:07,156 --> 00:26:10,785
He might help with the kids.
He's here to help. I think he had a free night.
465
00:26:10,727 --> 00:26:11,979
Kevin is babysitting?
466
00:26:12,011 --> 00:26:15,056
No, no, no, no. I'm babysitting.
Kevin's just here.
467
00:26:15,019 --> 00:26:16,604
Get in here, Stout Flipper. Let's do this.
468
00:26:16,584 --> 00:26:17,585
What?
469
00:26:18,429 --> 00:26:19,973
His gamertag.
470
00:26:20,916 --> 00:26:24,420
Please tell me you are not going to be
playing those violent video games...
471
00:26:24,446 --> 00:26:26,740
-Double kill!
-With our son!
472
00:26:26,733 --> 00:26:28,652
You know what?
You're gonna have to define violence
473
00:26:28,658 --> 00:26:29,993
because that Lego game you got him,
474
00:26:30,022 --> 00:26:32,817
those characters shatter into, like,
a million pieces, and that is sick.
475
00:26:32,830 --> 00:26:35,916
-What?
-Right? Okay? Just breathe.
476
00:26:39,047 --> 00:26:40,507
Don't wanna know.
477
00:26:40,732 --> 00:26:42,442
Not tonight, 'cause I love everybody.
478
00:26:42,617 --> 00:26:45,370
I don't wanna know. I don't.
479
00:26:45,666 --> 00:26:46,918
Destroy them all!
480
00:26:46,910 --> 00:26:49,288
Okay, you know what
childhood friends do eventually?
481
00:26:49,277 --> 00:26:50,320
Just say it.
482
00:26:50,360 --> 00:26:52,321
-They grow up.
-There it is!
483
00:26:52,446 --> 00:26:53,572
Let's go.
484
00:26:54,211 --> 00:26:55,921
One night, dude!
485
00:26:56,537 --> 00:26:57,580
Okay.
486
00:26:58,463 --> 00:26:59,548
Good.
487
00:26:59,907 --> 00:27:01,325
I gotta breathe.
488
00:27:01,873 --> 00:27:04,166
Izzy. Breathe.
489
00:27:04,921 --> 00:27:06,214
Breathe.
490
00:27:09,213 --> 00:27:10,756
Hold on!
491
00:27:11,580 --> 00:27:13,165
This is beautiful.
492
00:27:13,947 --> 00:27:15,824
You're positive. Oh, crud!
493
00:27:17,597 --> 00:27:19,099
I know you'll do great.
494
00:27:19,122 --> 00:27:22,834
Yeah. Okay, well, I mean,
I have the wipies and I have the diapers.
495
00:27:22,932 --> 00:27:26,102
I've got no red dye, 'cause
I know it drives them crazy, right?
496
00:27:26,021 --> 00:27:29,524
But you said there were three
emergency numbers. I only have two, Izzy.
497
00:27:29,752 --> 00:27:31,253
-I only...
-Stop second-guessing yourself.
498
00:27:31,277 --> 00:27:33,654
No, I'm actually not.
499
00:27:33,603 --> 00:27:37,523
I have full confidence in myself
and my abilities as a father.
500
00:27:37,414 --> 00:27:39,625
See, it's one night. I believe in you.
501
00:27:39,620 --> 00:27:41,664
And you shouldn't.
502
00:27:41,906 --> 00:27:43,575
I mean,
what's the worst thing that can happen?
503
00:27:44,033 --> 00:27:47,828
Serious injury, death, they could get maimed,
I could lose both children!
504
00:27:47,763 --> 00:27:51,183
It's getting hot in here! I feel...
We gotta get the air looked at.
505
00:27:51,093 --> 00:27:52,094
So, good luck.
506
00:27:54,422 --> 00:27:57,801
-You look gorgeous.
-Okay. I wanna have crazy fun.
507
00:27:57,752 --> 00:28:00,171
-Got it. Yes, ma'am. Let's go.
-Get me out of here. Now.
508
00:28:17,127 --> 00:28:18,921
Whose credit cards did this all go on?
509
00:28:19,052 --> 00:28:23,098
Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no.
You are never wearing those.
510
00:28:23,505 --> 00:28:26,508
Over my dead body,
and my credit cards won't work if I'm dead.
511
00:28:26,995 --> 00:28:30,165
-But everybody's wearing them.
-Really?
512
00:28:30,084 --> 00:28:33,254
Well, I'm not wearing them and your father's
not wearing them. Thank God.
513
00:28:34,015 --> 00:28:35,266
-Hi!
-I'll just be a second.
514
00:28:35,499 --> 00:28:36,542
Okay.
515
00:28:36,662 --> 00:28:38,873
Oh, wow. Ally's not wearing them.
516
00:28:39,471 --> 00:28:41,515
-So, whose car are we taking?
-Can we take Ray's?
517
00:28:41,717 --> 00:28:44,428
I can't be seen
riding around in Ray's midlife crisis,
518
00:28:44,364 --> 00:28:46,283
and anyway, it's a cop magnet.
519
00:28:46,250 --> 00:28:49,753
I am so sorry that I wanna go out with
a guy that I met from church!
520
00:28:49,700 --> 00:28:52,369
How wild of me. Wow, I'm so crazy!
521
00:28:54,072 --> 00:28:56,032
-Hold on.
-Okay.
522
00:28:56,720 --> 00:29:00,140
Okay. You are not going anywhere until
your father gets home
523
00:29:00,089 --> 00:29:03,259
and he's gonna agree with me when
he gets home, so good luck with that.
524
00:29:03,981 --> 00:29:06,358
-Here I come.
-Oh, yeah. Oh, good! Okay.
525
00:29:08,794 --> 00:29:10,629
It was working a minute ago.
526
00:29:11,683 --> 00:29:12,892
Why does it keep cutting out?
527
00:29:12,886 --> 00:29:14,721
Well, because my daughter spilled
apple juice all over it.
528
00:29:14,731 --> 00:29:16,316
Here, you just have to...
529
00:29:22,914 --> 00:29:25,083
-Kind of loud!
-The volume doesn't really work either.
530
00:29:27,608 --> 00:29:29,068
Yes.
531
00:29:29,173 --> 00:29:30,883
What about a CD?
532
00:29:30,978 --> 00:29:32,771
Do you have any Amy Grant?
533
00:29:35,230 --> 00:29:36,481
Okay, let me check.
534
00:29:36,914 --> 00:29:38,291
Oh, no! No, don't touch that!
535
00:29:42,690 --> 00:29:44,734
This happened once before. It's fine.
536
00:29:59,298 --> 00:30:01,049
Well, now I know my ABC's.
537
00:30:03,671 --> 00:30:07,091
Hey, good news is we got
a great parking spot. Right under the light.
538
00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:09,581
-Safest place.
-Yeah. I read that blog.
539
00:30:15,183 --> 00:30:16,893
You know what, ladies?
540
00:30:17,229 --> 00:30:18,397
Tonight is our night
541
00:30:19,355 --> 00:30:21,315
and we look good.
542
00:30:22,163 --> 00:30:23,999
-Let's do it.
-Let's do it.
543
00:30:56,662 --> 00:30:59,623
Hello, welcome to Chez Magique.
Your journey awaits you.
544
00:30:59,630 --> 00:31:01,507
Field, party of three.
545
00:31:01,555 --> 00:31:03,098
Okay, what is your name?
546
00:31:04,283 --> 00:31:05,701
Field.
547
00:31:07,814 --> 00:31:12,568
I cannot seem to find your reservation
on my scroll.
548
00:31:13,228 --> 00:31:14,897
Sorry.
549
00:31:14,913 --> 00:31:16,248
But I...
550
00:31:17,521 --> 00:31:19,565
It's only a two-and-a-half-hour wait.
Totally worth it.
551
00:31:19,567 --> 00:31:22,487
And during that time, you're more than
welcome to observe the art in the gallery.
552
00:31:22,536 --> 00:31:24,496
I don't want to observe art.
553
00:31:24,621 --> 00:31:26,290
I know. It's really exhausting, right?
554
00:31:26,306 --> 00:31:29,893
Look, I scouted, I planned,
I got the Groupon, I made a reservation.
555
00:31:29,796 --> 00:31:33,258
I did everything required of me,
so there must be some mistake.
556
00:31:33,206 --> 00:31:36,000
How about this? Why don't I go back
and talk to my visionary for you?
557
00:31:36,254 --> 00:31:37,422
Your what?
558
00:31:37,537 --> 00:31:39,623
-My manager.
-Yeah.
559
00:31:39,784 --> 00:31:42,871
Just wait here, 'kay?
560
00:31:46,163 --> 00:31:49,249
-Is everything okay?
-No, they lost our reservation.
561
00:31:49,171 --> 00:31:53,050
The wait is two and a half hours.
This is going to completely ruin our night.
562
00:31:52,982 --> 00:31:54,776
No, no. You know what?
Everything is gonna be okay.
563
00:31:54,867 --> 00:31:57,245
There is a man-child
playing death video games at home
564
00:31:57,194 --> 00:31:58,695
with my son. I'm just... You know what...
565
00:31:58,678 --> 00:32:02,807
Ally, Ally. Relax.
I'm sure Sean has everything under control.
566
00:32:02,729 --> 00:32:03,730
Relax.
567
00:32:03,773 --> 00:32:05,274
I've played it all out.
568
00:32:05,257 --> 00:32:08,093
Right now, I bet he's playing some game with
the kids, like cops and robbers,
569
00:32:08,065 --> 00:32:09,733
and it's gotten totally out of control.
570
00:32:09,749 --> 00:32:11,334
-This is out of control, Sean!
-It's not out of control!
571
00:32:11,314 --> 00:32:12,649
This is totally out of control.
It's out of control.
572
00:32:12,678 --> 00:32:13,846
No, it's not.
573
00:32:14,001 --> 00:32:15,419
I can't see the kids.
574
00:32:15,646 --> 00:32:17,899
And the house is a wreck
and Brandon is playing death video games.
575
00:32:17,893 --> 00:32:19,103
I know you can do it!
576
00:32:19,136 --> 00:32:22,473
You may not have any sense of
what you're doing. None of us do!
577
00:32:22,385 --> 00:32:24,304
I didn't sign up for this.
I did not sign up for this.
578
00:32:25,434 --> 00:32:27,603
And I bet Marco is all freaked out
and overwhelmed,
579
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:29,520
and Sean is giving him
the Braveheart speech.
580
00:32:29,566 --> 00:32:30,734
This is your moment!
581
00:32:30,730 --> 00:32:31,814
Let me tell you something, okay?
582
00:32:32,173 --> 00:32:33,925
Fatherhood's about manning up!
583
00:32:34,099 --> 00:32:36,477
And one of the twins is in
a video game coma,
584
00:32:36,466 --> 00:32:39,135
which will make him have nightmares
and will make Izzy mad at me on Monday.
585
00:32:39,073 --> 00:32:40,741
I've played it all out.
586
00:32:42,603 --> 00:32:44,105
Joey?
587
00:32:45,491 --> 00:32:47,327
-Hi, Allyson.
-Hi.
588
00:32:47,738 --> 00:32:50,116
I didn't recognize you without your kids.
589
00:32:50,145 --> 00:32:51,187
What are you doing here?
590
00:32:52,351 --> 00:32:53,810
Just meeting somebody.
591
00:32:54,316 --> 00:32:56,610
We're just having dinner. Little girls' night.
592
00:32:57,365 --> 00:32:58,867
Yeah, yeah. Bridget told me.
593
00:32:58,889 --> 00:33:01,684
No, Zoe.
I told you, you cannot take your father's car.
594
00:33:02,380 --> 00:33:05,132
And if you know where you're going,
why don't you just tell me where it is?
595
00:33:05,067 --> 00:33:07,153
Yeah, it is so simple.
596
00:33:08,838 --> 00:33:09,839
Have a nice night.
597
00:33:10,442 --> 00:33:11,443
'Kay.
598
00:33:12,207 --> 00:33:15,627
Hey, if you talk to Bridget,
don't tell her you ran into me, okay?
599
00:33:15,938 --> 00:33:17,773
What? Wait, why not?
600
00:33:19,468 --> 00:33:22,972
So, after a very helpful
consultation with my superior,
601
00:33:22,878 --> 00:33:25,964
there is a very special table that awaits you
602
00:33:25,926 --> 00:33:30,222
next Saturday, because that's
when you made your reservation.
603
00:33:30,098 --> 00:33:34,186
No, no, no, I didn't. I called on Monday...
604
00:33:34,110 --> 00:33:36,529
You did. You called and you spoke with Brie.
605
00:33:36,517 --> 00:33:37,684
-Yes! Brie, yes, yes.
-Remember her?
606
00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:41,348
Yeah, she's really pretty.
And you said next Saturday.
607
00:33:41,892 --> 00:33:45,688
Yes. Next Saturday,
as in the next available Saturday.
608
00:33:45,622 --> 00:33:48,167
The next one that exists. The next one to be.
609
00:33:48,832 --> 00:33:51,043
No. Next Saturday would be
610
00:33:51,038 --> 00:33:56,001
the Saturday immediately following
the current week you are in.
611
00:33:56,092 --> 00:33:58,845
No, it's the one immediately following
whatever day it is.
612
00:33:58,820 --> 00:34:00,947
That's what next means.
613
00:34:02,551 --> 00:34:06,597
No. That would be "this" Saturday.
614
00:34:06,522 --> 00:34:10,193
As in, like, this pen here.
615
00:34:10,132 --> 00:34:13,260
As in, like, this little mousey thing.
As in this phone.
616
00:34:13,222 --> 00:34:15,974
Like, "Oh, hello, I'd like to make
a reservation for this Saturday."
617
00:34:15,949 --> 00:34:18,827
"Oh, you mean today?
Yes, you may." See, like that.
618
00:34:19,118 --> 00:34:21,036
But, you didn't say "this," you said "next."
619
00:34:21,003 --> 00:34:23,422
I don't care what I said! Just give me a table!
620
00:34:23,370 --> 00:34:25,539
Okay, Ally, I think she gets the idea.
621
00:34:25,937 --> 00:34:28,315
Yeah. You're getting a little angry
622
00:34:28,304 --> 00:34:30,681
and it's doing something ugly to your face.
623
00:34:31,233 --> 00:34:33,402
You don't look good.
624
00:34:35,164 --> 00:34:36,916
I'm sorry, I just...
625
00:34:37,651 --> 00:34:42,364
Can you help a girl out?
This is my first night out in forever!
626
00:34:42,344 --> 00:34:45,430
And I'm wearing heels,
I'm carrying a small purse.
627
00:34:45,353 --> 00:34:47,647
I just wanna sit down with my friends
and enjoy a meal
628
00:34:47,599 --> 00:34:49,809
without three little people
clawing all over me!
629
00:34:49,806 --> 00:34:51,474
So, let us know when a table's available.
630
00:34:51,450 --> 00:34:52,576
Okay, I'll do that.
631
00:34:52,574 --> 00:34:56,119
I just...
I need a break because my job never ends.
632
00:34:56,063 --> 00:35:01,527
So can you please just check your scroll
and maybe just change your scroll?
633
00:35:05,611 --> 00:35:09,740
Visionary has decided that
you've disrupted the aura
634
00:35:09,622 --> 00:35:10,915
and you need to leave.
635
00:35:11,227 --> 00:35:12,228
What?
636
00:35:13,793 --> 00:35:16,379
What? The...
637
00:35:17,123 --> 00:35:19,042
This is a restaurant!
638
00:35:19,049 --> 00:35:20,467
This used to be Mike's Barbeque!
639
00:35:20,493 --> 00:35:22,745
-How dare you talk.
-Okay, we gotta go.
640
00:35:22,739 --> 00:35:24,241
The aura? Really, aura?
641
00:35:25,186 --> 00:35:26,771
These are so good.
642
00:35:27,834 --> 00:35:28,960
Goodbye.
643
00:35:28,997 --> 00:35:30,165
I made a reservation. This is unbelievable.
644
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:32,162
I didn't wanna eat there anyway.
I just need to eat somewhere.
645
00:35:32,166 --> 00:35:34,501
Not a big deal, Ally,
we can do this another night.
646
00:35:34,613 --> 00:35:36,615
No! We're not doing this another night.
647
00:35:36,579 --> 00:35:38,372
Because tonight is our night
and tonight is not a failure!
648
00:35:38,625 --> 00:35:41,628
-Just one second.
-Marco is so clueless sometimes!
649
00:35:41,553 --> 00:35:42,762
-Zoe.
-Are you really gonna just...
650
00:35:42,796 --> 00:35:45,174
I told you not to go anywhere
until your father got...
651
00:35:45,926 --> 00:35:49,805
No, Zoe. You listen to me.
Don't go anywhere until...
652
00:35:50,017 --> 00:35:51,810
Marco forgot the wipes. I mean, seriously?
653
00:35:52,264 --> 00:35:55,475
-What are you doing?
-What are you doing?
654
00:35:55,433 --> 00:35:57,351
-I'm saving your life.
-I'm sorry,
655
00:35:57,398 --> 00:35:59,025
-I may have to go.
-No, you're not gonna do that either.
656
00:35:59,123 --> 00:36:01,125
-This is my life.
-I need my phone!
657
00:36:01,088 --> 00:36:04,258
I need my phone! Ally, Ally, I need my phone!
658
00:36:04,619 --> 00:36:07,580
Honey, let's just talk about this!
Don't do anything crazy!
659
00:36:07,507 --> 00:36:08,758
I was in the middle of a text!
660
00:36:08,791 --> 00:36:12,544
Marco can find the rash cream on his own.
I have full confidence he can do it.
661
00:36:12,481 --> 00:36:13,857
Except he can't.
662
00:36:14,407 --> 00:36:18,244
Sean told me to unplug!
This is me unplugging, okay?
663
00:36:18,578 --> 00:36:21,123
I'm listening to my husband, Sondra.
It's biblical, right?
664
00:36:21,146 --> 00:36:22,147
It is biblical.
665
00:36:25,638 --> 00:36:26,806
Okay.
666
00:36:31,214 --> 00:36:33,383
No phones! No phones!
667
00:36:34,022 --> 00:36:36,817
So, this is what we're gonna do.
We're gonna, we're gonna...
668
00:36:36,870 --> 00:36:38,205
We're gonna...
669
00:36:38,274 --> 00:36:39,901
We're gonna go bowling!
670
00:36:40,281 --> 00:36:42,116
Who wants to go bowling?
I know I do. Sondra?
671
00:36:42,366 --> 00:36:44,076
-Fine. Absolutely.
-Yes!
672
00:36:44,091 --> 00:36:46,218
Bowling it is. Let's go.
673
00:36:48,785 --> 00:36:49,911
I'm letting my hair down, ladies.
674
00:36:51,030 --> 00:36:52,615
I am not wearing vending machine socks.
675
00:37:02,744 --> 00:37:03,745
You all right?
676
00:37:05,111 --> 00:37:06,446
Yes, yes, I'm, I'm fine.
677
00:37:06,635 --> 00:37:08,011
I'm under control.
678
00:37:08,801 --> 00:37:09,886
Would you help me get my kids out?
679
00:37:13,014 --> 00:37:14,640
-What was that?
-It's a bird.
680
00:37:14,738 --> 00:37:16,782
-A bird?
-Yes, it's a bird, okay?
681
00:37:16,904 --> 00:37:19,782
-My kids, they wanted to bring the pet bird.
-And you let them?
682
00:37:19,713 --> 00:37:21,715
I didn't know it was gonna be flying
all over the place!
683
00:37:21,718 --> 00:37:22,803
Why didn't you put it in the cage?
684
00:37:22,841 --> 00:37:24,593
You don't think I thought of that?
685
00:37:24,687 --> 00:37:26,188
Look, it was in the cage,
686
00:37:26,171 --> 00:37:29,466
and the locking mechanism
isn't exactly very intuitive.
687
00:37:29,661 --> 00:37:30,662
Stay, Mama.
688
00:37:30,744 --> 00:37:31,828
Its name is Mama?
689
00:37:32,188 --> 00:37:33,314
Yes, its name is Mama.
690
00:37:33,352 --> 00:37:35,604
Izzy was the one
that let the twins name her, okay?
691
00:37:35,597 --> 00:37:38,350
You got a bird flying around, Marco!
692
00:37:38,486 --> 00:37:41,323
I don't think he's scared.
I think he doesn't wanna hurt...
693
00:37:47,351 --> 00:37:48,602
Okay, so here's the plan.
694
00:37:48,595 --> 00:37:52,057
We take them inside, get their hand stamped
and they can't get out.
695
00:37:51,964 --> 00:37:53,925
Like Shawshank Redemption.
696
00:37:54,090 --> 00:37:55,300
I love it.
697
00:37:59,987 --> 00:38:01,072
Hey!
698
00:38:03,036 --> 00:38:05,413
-Oh, hi.
-Good for you.
699
00:38:08,171 --> 00:38:09,464
Good job.
700
00:38:10,217 --> 00:38:12,094
Why don't you go ahead and just...
701
00:38:12,061 --> 00:38:14,731
That kind of... That threw me a little bit.
702
00:38:15,712 --> 00:38:18,548
Well, this was a good idea, Ally.
We're having fun after all.
703
00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:22,067
Hey, so I am really sorry about
704
00:38:22,050 --> 00:38:24,260
that horrifying display back there.
705
00:38:26,502 --> 00:38:28,671
I actually think
I might be going a little bit crazy.
706
00:38:28,869 --> 00:38:31,163
No, you were just having a moment.
That's all.
707
00:38:31,918 --> 00:38:35,547
-It was, like, my fifth one this week. So...
-It happens to everyone.
708
00:38:36,090 --> 00:38:37,091
Really?
709
00:38:37,133 --> 00:38:41,179
Yet somehow I can't quite picture you
having a moment like that.
710
00:38:41,826 --> 00:38:43,828
So, how is the blog going?
711
00:38:43,792 --> 00:38:45,460
The blog.
712
00:38:45,437 --> 00:38:47,397
It's... It's
713
00:38:48,686 --> 00:38:51,939
not coming really at all.
714
00:38:51,895 --> 00:38:56,066
I can't...
I can't really find anything worth saying.
715
00:38:55,987 --> 00:38:59,157
And then when I sit down to try,
I just wind up staring at that eagle's nest.
716
00:38:59,156 --> 00:39:01,700
You have completely ruined me.
717
00:39:01,643 --> 00:39:03,103
And Ray thinks it's crazy.
718
00:39:03,127 --> 00:39:07,882
No, seriously, I cannot stop watching it.
Like, it is a problem.
719
00:39:08,101 --> 00:39:12,439
I don't know, Sondra. I just feel like
720
00:39:12,353 --> 00:39:16,607
she's so there.
721
00:39:17,167 --> 00:39:20,837
You know, like, she's peaceful.
722
00:39:23,746 --> 00:39:24,747
And she's happy.
723
00:39:30,324 --> 00:39:31,659
Are you happy?
724
00:39:31,769 --> 00:39:33,270
Look, Ally.
725
00:39:34,215 --> 00:39:37,343
Life is not about a parking space.
726
00:39:38,147 --> 00:39:42,818
It's not about God taking away all
our problems and making everything perfect.
727
00:39:43,121 --> 00:39:48,168
It's about finding the meaning and the joy
and the purpose in this,
728
00:39:48,015 --> 00:39:50,225
in all the chaos and the crazy.
729
00:39:50,221 --> 00:39:51,764
And it's knowing...
730
00:39:51,785 --> 00:39:55,623
It's knowing that God is with you
on the good days and the bad days.
731
00:39:56,318 --> 00:39:59,238
You know, does my faith give me that?
Yes, it does.
732
00:39:59,367 --> 00:40:02,996
Am I always happy? No, that's a fantasy.
733
00:40:08,032 --> 00:40:09,409
Think I'm...
734
00:40:12,926 --> 00:40:14,385
-Hey, Ally.
-Yeah.
735
00:40:14,410 --> 00:40:16,037
Thank you for inviting me tonight.
736
00:40:16,175 --> 00:40:19,011
You know, it's the first time
anyone from the church has invited me
737
00:40:19,063 --> 00:40:22,525
to something like this for...
First time in five years.
738
00:40:23,275 --> 00:40:24,360
Of course.
739
00:40:29,854 --> 00:40:32,440
Hey, yeah. Yes, going.
740
00:40:33,144 --> 00:40:34,395
Hey, can I ask you something?
741
00:40:35,109 --> 00:40:37,695
-Little free advice.
-Sure.
742
00:41:00,702 --> 00:41:02,996
Hey, Ally. It's me.
743
00:41:02,989 --> 00:41:05,825
Just wanted to let you know that
everything is going great here.
744
00:41:06,197 --> 00:41:09,200
We're all good.
We're gonna take a little trip to the hospital.
745
00:41:09,166 --> 00:41:11,168
Are you kidding me?
You want 50 tickets for this?
746
00:41:12,134 --> 00:41:13,385
That's extortion.
747
00:41:13,538 --> 00:41:16,583
Beck got himself caught
in the Rocket to Mars game.
748
00:41:16,547 --> 00:41:19,592
They didn't have to use the jaws of life
to get him out this time, thank goodness.
749
00:41:19,555 --> 00:41:23,476
He's free now and he's looking good,
his vitals are good. He's stable.
750
00:41:23,406 --> 00:41:26,868
They say we gotta take him down
to have him looked at, anyway.
751
00:41:26,937 --> 00:41:30,148
A matter of policy, which is fine,
because I sort of...
752
00:41:30,106 --> 00:41:34,527
I dislocated my shoulder
trying to get him out of there. Funny thing.
753
00:41:34,599 --> 00:41:36,726
We spent 50 bucks and got 200 tickets,
754
00:41:36,724 --> 00:41:38,726
so I expect something of equal
or greater value.
755
00:41:38,690 --> 00:41:40,233
-Like a, like a, like a...
-Puppy!
756
00:41:40,255 --> 00:41:42,132
Yes! A live animal.
757
00:41:42,221 --> 00:41:45,807
I want something like a live animal.
Like a turtle or one of those pet pigs.
758
00:41:45,911 --> 00:41:46,953
I'd like a pet pig.
759
00:41:47,034 --> 00:41:49,411
Me and the Beckster
are kind of cruising on our own.
760
00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:51,361
They need the minivan
to move the kids around.
761
00:41:51,366 --> 00:41:53,702
We know where you are,
so we're just gonna slip into the parking lot
762
00:41:53,652 --> 00:41:55,488
and switch the keys out for the minivan.
763
00:41:55,498 --> 00:41:59,961
And Marco told...
Texted Izzy that, so she should...
764
00:41:59,870 --> 00:42:02,748
She should know that.
I'm pretty sure she got most of that.
765
00:42:02,718 --> 00:42:06,097
What about the bouncy balls, right?
I mean, kids like the bouncy balls.
766
00:42:06,048 --> 00:42:08,301
Marco, that's a choking hazard.
767
00:42:08,496 --> 00:42:10,706
Why am I the only one that knows this stuff?
768
00:42:14,673 --> 00:42:19,094
Watch out, ladies and gentlemen.
It's time for the Dance Cam!
769
00:42:19,086 --> 00:42:21,713
Who's it gonna be? Who's it gonna be?
770
00:42:24,220 --> 00:42:26,973
That is loud. That's very loud.
771
00:42:26,947 --> 00:42:29,909
-The winner of tonight's Dance Cam...
-Oh, my.
772
00:42:29,876 --> 00:42:33,797
...gets a free month of bowling!
773
00:42:34,168 --> 00:42:36,003
Yeah, let me hear you!
774
00:42:38,581 --> 00:42:39,749
All right!
775
00:42:39,825 --> 00:42:43,161
Michelle! Nice moves.
776
00:42:43,114 --> 00:42:45,908
It's not Michelle. All right, it's Ashley.
777
00:42:45,882 --> 00:42:48,134
Everyone, give it up for Ashley.
778
00:42:48,730 --> 00:42:50,315
Back to the music.
779
00:42:52,782 --> 00:42:54,825
Okay, so, how far along are you?
780
00:42:56,031 --> 00:42:57,658
-What?
-Well, you're...
781
00:42:58,196 --> 00:43:01,867
No, because if I was, I would be freaking out
782
00:43:01,807 --> 00:43:05,853
that my husband would go whimpering into
a fetal position like he did last time.
783
00:43:06,260 --> 00:43:09,137
I gotta be honest with you,
I didn't get any of that.
784
00:43:10,832 --> 00:43:13,168
Six pins down, ladies! Beat that, Sondra.
785
00:43:13,159 --> 00:43:15,245
That's more than six.
786
00:43:20,019 --> 00:43:21,603
Moral dilemma.
787
00:43:22,025 --> 00:43:23,026
Ally?
788
00:43:23,789 --> 00:43:26,250
-Hey, what are you guys doing here?
-Hey, Bridge.
789
00:43:26,478 --> 00:43:30,148
Yeah, we're, you know,
glow-in-the-dark bowling.
790
00:43:30,168 --> 00:43:31,377
Which is so fun!
791
00:43:31,532 --> 00:43:33,075
It is, really. But it's actually not that fun.
792
00:43:33,176 --> 00:43:36,846
Okay, anyone else who wants to be
on the Dance Cam?
793
00:43:37,388 --> 00:43:38,431
Did you see that?
794
00:43:38,471 --> 00:43:41,099
No, no, no.
We can't have any of this at our table.
795
00:43:41,078 --> 00:43:43,831
No, this does not look good.
That does not look good.
796
00:43:48,340 --> 00:43:50,091
Dance!
797
00:43:50,105 --> 00:43:51,773
Wiggle. Do anything.
798
00:43:51,749 --> 00:43:53,626
These aren't mine. I don't drink.
799
00:43:53,755 --> 00:43:55,590
No, these are not mine.
800
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:57,727
I can't. No, I don't dance.
801
00:44:00,695 --> 00:44:02,739
No, I got to get over and...
802
00:44:05,307 --> 00:44:07,309
Boo!
803
00:44:08,035 --> 00:44:10,079
You, ma'am, are an embarrassment.
804
00:44:10,121 --> 00:44:12,332
That's a Dance Fail.
805
00:44:12,288 --> 00:44:14,373
-It's right there.
-Yeah, she tried. She tried, though.
806
00:44:14,494 --> 00:44:16,787
-She tried hard.
-She tried.
807
00:44:19,268 --> 00:44:21,478
Actually, I was just wondering,
808
00:44:21,474 --> 00:44:24,435
who'd you wind up
getting to babysit Phoenix?
809
00:44:24,402 --> 00:44:25,445
I just asked Joey to do it.
810
00:44:25,486 --> 00:44:27,863
I think you were right.
He owed Phoenix some Daddy time.
811
00:44:28,132 --> 00:44:29,300
Joey?
812
00:44:29,337 --> 00:44:32,214
Joey, as in your ex-boyfriend Joey?
That Joey?
813
00:44:32,144 --> 00:44:34,313
Yes, yes. That Joey, why?
814
00:44:34,271 --> 00:44:37,607
-Know what? No.
-Why?
815
00:44:39,284 --> 00:44:40,786
What's going on?
816
00:44:47,708 --> 00:44:48,709
Hey.
817
00:44:48,751 --> 00:44:51,754
Hi, welcome to Chez Magique.
Your journey awaits you.
818
00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:52,883
Great, thanks.
819
00:44:53,004 --> 00:44:56,299
Oh, no! You need to wait here.
820
00:44:56,293 --> 00:44:58,295
Are you kidding me? Move.
821
00:44:58,299 --> 00:45:00,301
-I will not move.
-Yes, you will,
822
00:45:00,265 --> 00:45:04,894
or so help me, I will take this aura in here
and I will murder it!
823
00:45:06,843 --> 00:45:08,136
You're kidding me.
824
00:45:08,327 --> 00:45:09,453
-No.
-No.
825
00:45:10,975 --> 00:45:12,143
Whatever.
826
00:45:14,184 --> 00:45:15,727
-Here, take the bird.
-I don't want the bird.
827
00:45:15,748 --> 00:45:16,749
Oh, no, you gotta take the bird.
828
00:45:16,751 --> 00:45:18,878
There's no way the boys are gonna
get in the car without the bird.
829
00:45:18,837 --> 00:45:20,380
-I don't want the bird.
-Take the bird!
830
00:45:20,401 --> 00:45:21,444
Hey, where's the car seat?
831
00:45:21,685 --> 00:45:23,395
Yeah, dude.
Everybody knows you need a car seat.
832
00:45:23,370 --> 00:45:25,705
You gotta get the car seat.
That's the whole point.
833
00:45:27,502 --> 00:45:29,003
What am I gonna do with a bird?
834
00:45:29,428 --> 00:45:31,305
Don't talk to me.
835
00:45:31,514 --> 00:45:32,973
Joey!
836
00:45:34,402 --> 00:45:35,403
Seriously?
837
00:45:35,524 --> 00:45:37,860
I leave Phoenix with you for one night!
838
00:45:37,891 --> 00:45:40,352
He's fine. Somebody's watching him.
839
00:45:40,338 --> 00:45:44,301
So that you can take your tramp
out for chocolate cake? That's great.
840
00:45:44,189 --> 00:45:46,108
Hi, I'm Bridget. Nice to meet you.
841
00:45:46,114 --> 00:45:48,450
-This is totally not what it looks like.
-Where is he?
842
00:45:56,344 --> 00:45:57,512
Man.
843
00:45:59,914 --> 00:46:01,374
No!
844
00:46:02,361 --> 00:46:04,614
No, no, no, no, no.
Sean, tell me that was not my bird.
845
00:46:04,929 --> 00:46:06,806
Tell me that was not my bird
that just flew away.
846
00:46:07,416 --> 00:46:09,543
Hey! Hey! Hey!
847
00:46:10,946 --> 00:46:14,408
Hey, that's our parking spot!
848
00:46:14,355 --> 00:46:15,356
Who has him?
849
00:46:19,690 --> 00:46:20,983
Bones.
850
00:46:23,983 --> 00:46:25,151
Bones.
851
00:46:26,390 --> 00:46:28,850
Bones from the tattoo parlor, Bones?
852
00:46:28,796 --> 00:46:31,424
Yeah, yeah. He said he could hang there
until I pick him up.
853
00:46:31,363 --> 00:46:33,949
He's at the tattoo parlor?
854
00:46:34,212 --> 00:46:35,755
He's not getting a tattoo!
855
00:46:35,816 --> 00:46:37,192
I am not going in there!
856
00:46:37,221 --> 00:46:38,556
-You gotta go in there.
-I don't wanna go in there.
857
00:46:38,584 --> 00:46:40,419
Because this night will never end!
That's why you gotta go in.
858
00:46:40,430 --> 00:46:43,349
I said, I promised, I vowed. I said, you know,
everything, and then I walk in?
859
00:46:43,599 --> 00:46:45,601
Please. I'm just not going in there.
860
00:46:45,804 --> 00:46:47,681
It's a matter of principle. Okay?
861
00:46:47,851 --> 00:46:49,185
Marco, give me your keys.
862
00:46:49,175 --> 00:46:50,885
We'll leave my car in this general area
for the girls.
863
00:46:50,899 --> 00:46:53,611
You guys take the van and the kids
to my house. Geez, this is confusing.
864
00:46:53,667 --> 00:46:55,419
I gotta get Beck to the hospital.
865
00:46:55,433 --> 00:46:57,101
-Beck's fine.
-Beck's fine.
866
00:46:57,117 --> 00:47:00,621
Did you hear the fire guy? It's policy!
Now, make the transition.
867
00:47:00,567 --> 00:47:01,735
But what about my bird?
868
00:47:01,731 --> 00:47:04,400
I got an idea. I got an idea.
I saw this on Animal Planet once.
869
00:47:04,779 --> 00:47:06,405
-They come back.
-What, like this?
870
00:47:06,744 --> 00:47:08,454
-Yeah.
-Mama!
871
00:47:08,911 --> 00:47:10,329
It's not a falcon.
872
00:47:10,515 --> 00:47:13,309
I am not overreacting!
873
00:47:13,243 --> 00:47:17,205
I'm calling from Chez Magique.
There's a crazy lady in my restaurant.
874
00:47:17,094 --> 00:47:20,180
She just brought
her crazy baby sister, or mini-her.
875
00:47:20,143 --> 00:47:21,644
There's two crazy ladies now.
876
00:47:21,667 --> 00:47:25,379
One crazy lady first. Now two crazy ladies.
Chez Magique.
877
00:47:25,317 --> 00:47:26,443
Marco! Get it off! Get it off!
878
00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:29,398
-Marco! Marco!
-Where's the bird? Do you see it?
879
00:47:29,610 --> 00:47:31,737
Where's my bird? Where's my bird?
880
00:47:31,696 --> 00:47:33,239
I sat on it.
881
00:47:34,905 --> 00:47:35,906
I'm dead.
882
00:47:35,907 --> 00:47:39,536
-I'm gonna kill you! Kill you!
-No, no. Stop, stop. Okay, okay.
883
00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:43,659
-In your sleep!
-Yep, yep. Okay. Let's go.
884
00:47:44,934 --> 00:47:46,143
It's...
885
00:47:46,137 --> 00:47:47,638
Just, it's nothing. It's...
886
00:47:47,621 --> 00:47:50,165
How am I supposed to get him?
I took the bus to get here.
887
00:47:50,148 --> 00:47:53,484
If I leave work early on my first night,
I'm gonna get fired! On my first night!
888
00:47:53,438 --> 00:47:54,439
I need this job.
889
00:47:54,761 --> 00:47:56,638
-Ally.
-I've got the van.
890
00:47:56,967 --> 00:48:00,054
We'll run, we'll pick him up.
We can fix this. Get right back on schedule.
891
00:48:00,016 --> 00:48:02,769
Best night out ever
will just be on pause for 30 minutes, right?
892
00:48:02,704 --> 00:48:04,373
And then do what with the baby?
893
00:48:05,552 --> 00:48:08,888
I haven't gotten that far yet.
Let's get the van, then...
894
00:48:10,486 --> 00:48:11,529
Where's the van?
895
00:48:12,131 --> 00:48:13,758
I parked it right there.
896
00:48:13,735 --> 00:48:15,696
It only takes a couple of seconds
to steal a car.
897
00:48:15,661 --> 00:48:17,997
That's what Marco says.
Always lock everything up.
898
00:48:17,987 --> 00:48:20,782
I did! Am I crazy?
899
00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:24,540
So, what do I do? Do I report it to the police?
900
00:48:26,211 --> 00:48:27,420
With what phones?
901
00:48:28,418 --> 00:48:30,503
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no!
902
00:48:30,503 --> 00:48:33,048
You guys don't have phones?
903
00:48:32,990 --> 00:48:34,951
Okay, I'm freaking out now.
904
00:48:35,277 --> 00:48:37,779
My phone's back at work. We'll just use mine.
905
00:48:37,764 --> 00:48:38,806
Okay, great. Let's go.
906
00:48:38,807 --> 00:48:40,976
Hey, can you ask them
and see if they saw anything?
907
00:48:41,013 --> 00:48:43,015
And don't forget our shoes.
908
00:48:43,018 --> 00:48:45,229
But maybe not wear them.
My feet are killing me.
909
00:48:50,962 --> 00:48:52,421
There are a bunch of stickers on there.
910
00:48:52,405 --> 00:48:56,493
So, there's a fish one that's pretty faded.
911
00:48:56,698 --> 00:48:58,408
And "Eat Organic."
912
00:49:00,067 --> 00:49:04,280
"My homeschooler is smarter than
your honor student."
913
00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:07,471
There are a bunch of others,
but I don't really wanna talk about them.
914
00:49:07,449 --> 00:49:09,117
But you get the idea. Okay?
915
00:49:09,093 --> 00:49:10,761
It's an emergency. It's personal.
916
00:49:10,738 --> 00:49:12,364
We think it was taken sometime around 8:00.
917
00:49:12,383 --> 00:49:15,386
-Hey, I called a cab.
-Great. Okay, thank you very much.
918
00:49:20,365 --> 00:49:22,701
Are you sure
this is the fastest way to Davis Street?
919
00:49:22,692 --> 00:49:24,611
Absolutely. This is the fastest way.
920
00:49:24,617 --> 00:49:25,826
Why don't you just cut over on to Eighth?
921
00:49:26,502 --> 00:49:28,546
He should take the expressway.
922
00:49:28,509 --> 00:49:29,885
Are you from England?
923
00:49:30,033 --> 00:49:33,536
No, I just watched a little bit of the BBC
and I picked up the accent.
924
00:49:34,204 --> 00:49:36,081
I'm a cabbie, luv. It's my occupation.
925
00:49:36,050 --> 00:49:39,261
Why do people from other countries
always sound smarter?
926
00:49:39,219 --> 00:49:42,722
Because we are smarter,
which is why this is the fastest way.
927
00:49:42,629 --> 00:49:44,548
-Okay, can you step on it?
-Why, you're all very lovely,
928
00:49:44,554 --> 00:49:47,515
but, no,
I'm not gonna get a ticket for the four of you.
929
00:49:47,563 --> 00:49:50,483
Well, we're trying to find her baby,
who happens to be stuck in a tattoo parlor.
930
00:49:50,451 --> 00:49:52,078
Yeah, well, that's none of my business.
931
00:49:53,379 --> 00:49:54,547
Are you having a laugh?
932
00:49:55,425 --> 00:49:56,801
Road, road, road!
933
00:49:59,036 --> 00:50:01,497
-Right! Right.
-Watch...
934
00:50:02,405 --> 00:50:03,656
Onward!
935
00:50:04,812 --> 00:50:06,146
I'm sorry. Where are we going again?
936
00:50:17,167 --> 00:50:18,668
So, can you wait just five minutes?
937
00:50:18,691 --> 00:50:21,694
Is that an actual five minutes,
or is that a ladies' night five minutes?
938
00:50:21,700 --> 00:50:23,994
How long can it take to get a baby?
939
00:50:26,192 --> 00:50:27,277
Is Bones here?
940
00:50:28,158 --> 00:50:29,409
Yeah, he's working.
941
00:50:29,522 --> 00:50:31,649
Can you go get him, please?
'Cause I have a question for him.
942
00:50:31,649 --> 00:50:34,777
-He, apparently, has her baby...
-I need to talk to him right now.
943
00:50:35,940 --> 00:50:38,818
Simmer down, y'all. I can't even understand
what you're saying right now.
944
00:50:38,789 --> 00:50:40,666
Like, chill.
945
00:50:41,035 --> 00:50:42,495
For real.
946
00:50:42,921 --> 00:50:44,881
Look, we're here to get Phoenix.
947
00:50:44,966 --> 00:50:47,427
See, that's what I'm talking about. Phoenix.
948
00:50:47,493 --> 00:50:49,120
Rising from the ashes.
949
00:50:49,178 --> 00:50:50,555
That's number 97 over there.
950
00:50:50,542 --> 00:50:52,377
But I think
you should do it across your back,
951
00:50:52,387 --> 00:50:54,431
'cause it'll be real pretty-like right there.
952
00:50:54,393 --> 00:50:56,854
No, no, no, she was talking... Sorry.
953
00:50:56,961 --> 00:50:59,338
-Phoenix is my baby.
-Well, do you have a picture?
954
00:51:00,130 --> 00:51:03,466
'Cause Bones needs a picture
to get the tattoo perfect.
955
00:51:03,419 --> 00:51:06,046
You know what I'm saying?
'Cause them little hellions are hard to draw.
956
00:51:06,949 --> 00:51:09,452
None of us want a tattoo!
957
00:51:09,436 --> 00:51:10,896
I want a tattoo.
958
00:51:10,960 --> 00:51:12,628
-Yeah, you do.
-Okay.
959
00:51:13,928 --> 00:51:17,765
Phoenix is my baby and he's in the back.
960
00:51:17,700 --> 00:51:20,077
And we are here to pick him up.
961
00:51:20,026 --> 00:51:23,529
But who would bring a baby
to a tattoo parlor?
962
00:51:23,436 --> 00:51:25,021
-Like, that's dumb. That's real dumb.
-I know, right?
963
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:28,120
Yeah, that's actually a viable question.
964
00:51:30,576 --> 00:51:31,994
Illegal.
965
00:51:43,653 --> 00:51:44,779
Hello.
966
00:51:47,464 --> 00:51:49,300
Okay, I'm officially freaking out now.
967
00:51:49,269 --> 00:51:50,395
Bridget, it's gonna be okay.
968
00:51:54,123 --> 00:51:57,877
Okay, so, there's no baby back there,
which is awesome.
969
00:51:57,774 --> 00:52:00,234
But you guys had me. I was a little scared,
970
00:52:00,221 --> 00:52:02,848
like, maybe you were from
the health department or something.
971
00:52:02,828 --> 00:52:04,913
-Okay. We're gonna come up with a plan.
-You were gonna arrest me,
972
00:52:04,914 --> 00:52:08,417
or maybe worse, cut off my hair, like, what!
973
00:52:08,444 --> 00:52:09,445
-We'll figure it out.
-Okay.
974
00:52:09,447 --> 00:52:11,782
What would happen if you cut my hair?
975
00:52:11,894 --> 00:52:14,522
It's okay, though. Look,
Bones is gonna help you when he's done.
976
00:52:14,501 --> 00:52:16,044
Everything's okay. Like, we're good.
977
00:52:16,467 --> 00:52:19,845
I need to talk to Bones right now!
978
00:52:19,877 --> 00:52:23,047
-You can't rush art.
-What is wrong with you?
979
00:52:22,965 --> 00:52:24,967
Are you hearing what I'm saying?
980
00:52:25,012 --> 00:52:28,724
You know what? I am just...
I'm gonna call the police.
981
00:52:28,741 --> 00:52:30,743
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Look, calm down.
982
00:52:31,430 --> 00:52:33,223
Look, you're scaring everyone.
983
00:52:33,355 --> 00:52:36,441
Like, look, seriously,
I'm gonna have to ask you to leave
984
00:52:36,404 --> 00:52:38,739
and take your little Housewives of Ohio
with you.
985
00:52:38,730 --> 00:52:41,357
-Like, for real. Go. You just scared everyone.
-Ladies.
986
00:52:41,378 --> 00:52:43,338
And take this one,
'cause she's been eyeing me the whole night.
987
00:52:43,304 --> 00:52:45,014
-Follow me.
-Follow mama bear. That's right.
988
00:52:46,472 --> 00:52:48,224
I was just kidding. You're cute.
989
00:52:48,478 --> 00:52:49,854
I'm married.
990
00:52:49,882 --> 00:52:51,091
I love you.
991
00:52:55,618 --> 00:52:58,538
So, what do I do?
Should I call the police? Ally?
992
00:52:58,908 --> 00:53:00,785
I don't...
993
00:53:00,994 --> 00:53:02,537
Okay, ladies. Follow me.
994
00:53:02,638 --> 00:53:04,557
-What?
-Back door.
995
00:53:12,667 --> 00:53:15,253
-Watch it. Watch it, ladies.
-Germs. Germs everywhere!
996
00:53:15,234 --> 00:53:16,652
Be careful there.
997
00:53:18,083 --> 00:53:20,669
-Okay, don't touch that. There's hair in it.
-Okay.
998
00:53:27,950 --> 00:53:29,118
You know, this is a bad idea.
999
00:53:29,394 --> 00:53:31,438
No, no, no, no! We can get this open, right?
1000
00:53:31,441 --> 00:53:33,151
-Who wants to help?
-Bridge...
1001
00:53:33,807 --> 00:53:35,851
Ain't no money back here, so turn yours...
1002
00:53:36,735 --> 00:53:37,945
-Hey.
-Bones, it's me, Bridget.
1003
00:53:38,019 --> 00:53:40,521
Bridget. Hey, baby girl,
what are you doing back here?
1004
00:53:40,506 --> 00:53:42,800
I'm just here to get Phoenix.
1005
00:53:42,793 --> 00:53:44,837
Joey said
he dropped him off with you, right?
1006
00:53:44,838 --> 00:53:46,381
Yeah.
1007
00:53:46,363 --> 00:53:50,659
I love that kid. You ever notice that
he snorts when he starts to laugh?
1008
00:53:50,574 --> 00:53:53,035
Adorable, he really is, but...
1009
00:53:53,022 --> 00:53:54,857
Do I know you from somewhere?
1010
00:53:54,867 --> 00:53:57,286
My husband is the pastor of First Baptist.
1011
00:53:57,795 --> 00:53:59,130
No, that's not it.
1012
00:53:59,159 --> 00:54:02,704
I can't go an hour without a smoke,
and it's an awful habit.
1013
00:54:02,650 --> 00:54:06,278
I also know that you should not do that
around a baby... Bonnaroo?
1014
00:54:07,062 --> 00:54:08,188
No.
1015
00:54:09,950 --> 00:54:11,743
I could have swore I know you...
1016
00:54:11,956 --> 00:54:13,875
Bones, Bone, Bones! My baby.
1017
00:54:13,841 --> 00:54:17,637
So, I called Caprice and Caprice said
she'd take him until Joe got back.
1018
00:54:17,732 --> 00:54:19,400
Caprice Stevens?
1019
00:54:20,018 --> 00:54:21,311
Joey's ex!
1020
00:54:21,343 --> 00:54:23,345
It's okay. She don't smoke.
1021
00:54:23,429 --> 00:54:27,349
-She's a non-smoker. You need her address?
-No, I know where she lives!
1022
00:54:27,280 --> 00:54:29,699
You ladies should really
stay out of the alleys, though.
1023
00:54:29,726 --> 00:54:33,438
There's some unsavory types of fellows
hanging out back here.
1024
00:54:33,618 --> 00:54:35,661
-Open this door now!
-Ladies, ladies. Can we not...
1025
00:54:36,546 --> 00:54:39,508
Oi, what's going on?
1026
00:54:40,276 --> 00:54:42,362
Would someone
please communicate with me?
1027
00:54:45,411 --> 00:54:47,246
-What's your problem?
-Where is Caprice?
1028
00:54:47,618 --> 00:54:49,078
She went out, man.
1029
00:54:49,102 --> 00:54:50,437
Went out where?
1030
00:54:50,787 --> 00:54:53,289
She didn't say. Who are you?
1031
00:54:53,274 --> 00:54:55,776
We're here to pick up baby Phoenix,
my nephew.
1032
00:54:55,721 --> 00:54:57,598
My son.
1033
00:54:57,686 --> 00:55:00,480
Right, right. Yeah,
your baby's been screaming his lungs out.
1034
00:55:01,617 --> 00:55:03,119
What do you mean? Why? Is he okay?
1035
00:55:03,142 --> 00:55:04,560
-What happened?
-Where did she go?
1036
00:55:04,546 --> 00:55:06,297
I told you, I don't know.
1037
00:55:06,270 --> 00:55:08,773
Okay. Let me in here, you worthless pothead!
1038
00:55:10,282 --> 00:55:13,118
Let me handle this, girls. Let me handle this.
1039
00:55:14,253 --> 00:55:16,881
You. Now, look at you.
1040
00:55:17,422 --> 00:55:21,218
You pathetic primitive. You leech on society.
1041
00:55:21,313 --> 00:55:24,483
You, that represent everything that's wrong
with the American economy.
1042
00:55:24,643 --> 00:55:26,811
Here's what we're gonna do.
Listen very closely.
1043
00:55:26,889 --> 00:55:28,307
In three...
1044
00:55:28,494 --> 00:55:29,661
Oi!
1045
00:55:30,540 --> 00:55:31,833
Open the door!
1046
00:55:32,305 --> 00:55:35,767
I do not like that! Would you please...
1047
00:55:35,795 --> 00:55:37,463
Yes. As I was...
1048
00:55:40,367 --> 00:55:41,911
Would you please stop?
1049
00:55:42,012 --> 00:55:43,514
-Why are you being a baby?
-I'm not.
1050
00:55:44,218 --> 00:55:45,595
Bones, help!
1051
00:55:46,505 --> 00:55:47,547
Bones!
1052
00:55:47,588 --> 00:55:50,049
I thought I told y'all to stay out of the alley.
1053
00:55:50,035 --> 00:55:51,161
What's wrong, darling?
1054
00:55:51,199 --> 00:55:52,950
Caprice was not there.
1055
00:55:52,964 --> 00:55:55,258
There's some guy named Hank
1056
00:55:55,209 --> 00:55:57,545
and he said she took Phoenix,
but he wouldn't tell us where.
1057
00:55:57,536 --> 00:55:59,789
-And then he assaulted our cab driver.
-Right in the nose.
1058
00:55:59,864 --> 00:56:02,575
-Blood everywhere.
-Lollapalooza?
1059
00:56:02,551 --> 00:56:03,719
No.
1060
00:56:03,714 --> 00:56:04,715
-Ozzfest?
-Never.
1061
00:56:04,757 --> 00:56:05,758
-Live Aid?
-Please stop.
1062
00:56:06,281 --> 00:56:09,910
Can we please pull the conversation
back to my missing child?
1063
00:56:10,373 --> 00:56:14,335
I have no idea where he is and I'm just...
I'm just worried sick about him
1064
00:56:14,264 --> 00:56:19,227
and I didn't know where else to turn, so...
Why did you leave him?
1065
00:56:27,261 --> 00:56:28,805
All right, fine!
1066
00:56:29,548 --> 00:56:31,049
I'm coming.
1067
00:56:34,883 --> 00:56:37,844
-Why you gotta be so loud?
-Hello, Hank.
1068
00:56:38,814 --> 00:56:40,650
Hank, where's the baby?
1069
00:56:40,739 --> 00:56:43,117
-Bones, I don't know.
-Don't lie to me.
1070
00:56:44,390 --> 00:56:47,101
-I'm not lying!
-You know what's gonna happen to you?
1071
00:56:47,038 --> 00:56:48,998
Where'd she say she was going?
1072
00:56:50,126 --> 00:56:52,253
I believe her exact words were,
1073
00:56:53,215 --> 00:56:54,883
"I need a drink"?
1074
00:56:55,221 --> 00:57:00,435
You let Caprice, six months sober,
go out drinking with a baby?
1075
00:57:01,318 --> 00:57:02,319
Yes.
1076
00:57:02,882 --> 00:57:04,467
Hank, you deserve this.
1077
00:57:05,811 --> 00:57:07,313
That's what I would have done.
1078
00:57:12,149 --> 00:57:14,360
I hate to be the one to tell you this.
1079
00:57:14,315 --> 00:57:18,945
Seems as if your baby is
the drinking buddy of a relapsing alcoholic.
1080
00:57:20,132 --> 00:57:23,177
-Breathe.
-We don't have much time. We should go.
1081
00:57:24,343 --> 00:57:26,429
-Let's go.
-Let's go! Come on!
1082
00:57:35,857 --> 00:57:37,483
What's all that ruckus over there?
1083
00:57:38,023 --> 00:57:40,150
Honey, you know it ain't no telling.
1084
00:57:40,229 --> 00:57:42,773
Lord have mercy.
Those people across the street.
1085
00:57:42,716 --> 00:57:46,053
Your momma be here in a little bit, baby,
I'm sure.
1086
00:57:47,168 --> 00:57:48,670
Here we go.
1087
00:57:53,707 --> 00:57:55,459
Hey, Sean. What's going on?
1088
00:57:56,154 --> 00:57:57,572
Hey, Ray. What are you doing here?
1089
00:57:57,599 --> 00:57:58,808
I'm seeing a church member.
1090
00:57:58,842 --> 00:58:00,635
Have you heard from the girls?
I can't get a hold of Sondra.
1091
00:58:05,702 --> 00:58:08,454
This phone is almost dead.
Okay, where are we going?
1092
00:58:08,710 --> 00:58:09,711
Hello, Bridget?
1093
00:58:09,954 --> 00:58:13,082
No, honey, it's Ally.
We are in deep, deep trouble.
1094
00:58:13,042 --> 00:58:14,836
Hon, I can't hear you, you're breaking up.
1095
00:58:14,808 --> 00:58:16,184
-You said what?
-Fifth Avenue.
1096
00:58:16,773 --> 00:58:19,860
-Bones was there.
-Hon, I can't hear you. Slow down.
1097
00:58:19,781 --> 00:58:22,159
Cab driver is bleeding everywhere.
It's insane.
1098
00:58:22,148 --> 00:58:23,650
Who's bleeding? Somebody's bleeding?
1099
00:58:23,632 --> 00:58:24,967
-Did you say bleeding?
-Look out.
1100
00:58:24,996 --> 00:58:26,373
Hello?
1101
00:58:26,361 --> 00:58:28,321
-She's in trouble. We gotta go.
-Yeah.
1102
00:58:28,928 --> 00:58:29,929
What?
1103
00:58:29,970 --> 00:58:32,848
-Searing pain! Searing pain.
-You know, we're in a hospital.
1104
00:58:32,779 --> 00:58:35,740
Yeah, sorry, it's just my shoulder.
It's okay. I have a plan.
1105
00:58:36,108 --> 00:58:37,234
It's okay.
1106
00:58:40,762 --> 00:58:42,680
That can't be good.
1107
00:58:42,767 --> 00:58:45,979
Sir. Sir. Sir,
I think you need to see a doctor about that.
1108
00:58:46,017 --> 00:58:49,478
I know. I know, but my wife's in trouble.
It can wait. Hold on.
1109
00:58:49,506 --> 00:58:51,133
Third time's a charm. Third time.
1110
00:58:53,157 --> 00:58:54,491
It's gonna be fine.
1111
00:58:56,646 --> 00:58:58,064
-It worked!
-Seriously?
1112
00:58:58,091 --> 00:58:59,092
Yeah, it worked. It's good.
1113
00:58:59,133 --> 00:59:02,470
-You're good?
-Yup. It's good. It's good.
1114
00:59:02,463 --> 00:59:04,382
All right. That's great.
Why don't you let me drive, all right?
1115
00:59:04,910 --> 00:59:07,538
Come on. We're going for a little ride, buddy.
1116
00:59:07,637 --> 00:59:11,183
She said something about a tattoo parlor
on Fifth and a guy named Bones.
1117
00:59:18,990 --> 00:59:22,118
Okay. All right. So just try and follow him.
I'm sorry about this.
1118
00:59:22,039 --> 00:59:24,792
Not to worry, luv. I'm a trained professional.
1119
00:59:25,007 --> 00:59:27,093
I learned this doing a little stint in Germany.
1120
00:59:27,134 --> 00:59:29,219
The autobahn is no place for
the faint of heart.
1121
00:59:35,518 --> 00:59:37,853
-I'm gonna throw up.
-This is nothing.
1122
00:59:42,698 --> 00:59:44,700
Wait. Is that...
1123
00:59:45,145 --> 00:59:46,354
That's my van!
1124
00:59:51,363 --> 00:59:54,366
I did it! I did it! I did it!
No more noise! No more music!
1125
00:59:55,093 --> 00:59:57,846
-Put it back on. Put it back on right now!
-What?
1126
00:59:59,626 --> 01:00:00,835
-Where?
-Get the van! The van!
1127
01:00:03,356 --> 01:00:04,691
Get the van!
1128
01:00:06,566 --> 01:00:07,942
That's my van!
1129
01:00:08,010 --> 01:00:10,804
That's my stolen van! Go get it! Get it!
1130
01:00:10,777 --> 01:00:12,362
What about my baby?
1131
01:00:13,826 --> 01:00:14,869
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
1132
01:00:15,993 --> 01:00:17,869
He's getting away!
1133
01:00:38,096 --> 01:00:39,097
What are you doing?
1134
01:00:39,179 --> 01:00:41,181
I'm being followed by
American Choppers back there.
1135
01:00:41,224 --> 01:00:43,184
Then go faster! Go faster!
1136
01:00:43,190 --> 01:00:45,317
No, no, no! No faster! No faster!
1137
01:00:45,316 --> 01:00:47,026
Now the cops are following him, too!
1138
01:00:47,041 --> 01:00:49,460
-Just get out of the way.
-I've been trying to get out of the way, okay?
1139
01:00:49,448 --> 01:00:51,659
-They keep following me. I'm trying!
-No, just get out of the way!
1140
01:00:52,055 --> 01:00:53,390
Light red. Light's red!
1141
01:00:53,500 --> 01:00:54,709
-Light's red!
-I see it! I see it!
1142
01:00:54,743 --> 01:00:56,203
Don't do it!
1143
01:01:05,734 --> 01:01:10,197
I have a sighting on that stolen van.
A gray Sienna with...
1144
01:01:10,187 --> 01:01:11,855
With, I don't know, stickers.
1145
01:01:15,321 --> 01:01:16,823
No, no, no. No, no!
1146
01:01:27,476 --> 01:01:28,560
You wanna mess with me?
1147
01:01:29,321 --> 01:01:30,823
You want a piece of this?
1148
01:01:30,886 --> 01:01:33,389
Say hello to my little sippy cup, baby!
1149
01:01:34,416 --> 01:01:36,377
Well, how'd you like that?
1150
01:01:37,505 --> 01:01:38,548
Looks like...
1151
01:01:39,190 --> 01:01:40,816
I don't know. Sippy cups.
1152
01:01:44,886 --> 01:01:49,015
Hey! That's my van! That's my stolen van!
1153
01:01:51,946 --> 01:01:53,823
Hey! Hey!
1154
01:01:54,112 --> 01:01:56,114
-What in...
-Get the van!
1155
01:01:56,158 --> 01:01:57,660
Ma'am, get back in the vehicle!
1156
01:01:57,682 --> 01:02:00,518
Van! Yes, get it!
1157
01:02:02,054 --> 01:02:04,766
-Get us off this crazy train!
-Everybody just hold on!
1158
01:02:14,932 --> 01:02:16,642
I don't wanna die!
1159
01:02:30,255 --> 01:02:31,256
Are you okay?
1160
01:02:31,980 --> 01:02:34,357
-Is everybody okay?
-Oh, that's gonna swell.
1161
01:02:38,839 --> 01:02:41,050
No, no. Why are you still following?
Why are you still following?
1162
01:02:41,126 --> 01:02:43,837
Why are you still following me?
1163
01:02:45,338 --> 01:02:46,714
Good evening, Officer.
1164
01:02:46,742 --> 01:02:49,745
-Driver! Put your hands out the window.
-But...
1165
01:02:50,473 --> 01:02:52,641
Now, exit the vehicle slowly.
1166
01:02:55,808 --> 01:02:57,101
Did you get that biker back there?
1167
01:02:57,132 --> 01:02:58,300
Stay where you are, sir.
1168
01:02:58,536 --> 01:02:59,871
Sir, stop where you are.
1169
01:02:59,940 --> 01:03:03,610
Now back up three paces.
Turn around, face the light.
1170
01:03:04,392 --> 01:03:07,187
No, the other light.
Turn around! Toward the light.
1171
01:03:07,200 --> 01:03:09,953
-The light. That light?
-That light. Yes. Down on your knees, now!
1172
01:03:09,888 --> 01:03:11,098
Down on your knees!
1173
01:03:11,131 --> 01:03:13,342
-Sir?
-Hands behind your head. Stay there.
1174
01:03:14,060 --> 01:03:16,187
-Sir, is this your vehicle?
-No, sir. It's...
1175
01:03:16,146 --> 01:03:17,647
-Stay right here!
-Okay!
1176
01:03:18,271 --> 01:03:20,607
-Have you been drinking?
-No, sir!
1177
01:03:21,802 --> 01:03:24,096
Is there someone else in this vehicle?
1178
01:03:24,048 --> 01:03:25,049
Yes.
1179
01:03:25,572 --> 01:03:26,782
Stay where you are.
1180
01:03:30,667 --> 01:03:31,919
Hello!
1181
01:03:32,392 --> 01:03:34,060
What in the...
1182
01:03:34,799 --> 01:03:36,092
Sir, is this your vehicle?
1183
01:03:36,203 --> 01:03:37,287
-No!
-No, sir!
1184
01:03:37,526 --> 01:03:39,028
Thank you, my dear.
1185
01:03:39,292 --> 01:03:41,294
-Is this your daddy?
-No, sir.
1186
01:03:41,377 --> 01:03:42,504
Is that your daddy?
1187
01:03:42,501 --> 01:03:44,795
-No, sir!
-Who's your daddy?
1188
01:03:44,788 --> 01:03:47,207
He's in the hospital.
1189
01:03:47,556 --> 01:03:48,557
What's going on here?
1190
01:03:48,558 --> 01:03:51,102
He's taking us to his house,
but I don't want to go!
1191
01:03:51,085 --> 01:03:53,963
You don't want to go? That's very bad.
What else should I know?
1192
01:03:54,054 --> 01:03:55,264
He killed Mama.
1193
01:03:55,297 --> 01:03:56,298
He what?
1194
01:03:56,300 --> 01:03:58,344
Okay, no. I can explain.
Mama's the name of the parakeet...
1195
01:03:58,346 --> 01:04:00,598
Down on your knees now!
Down on your knees!
1196
01:04:00,593 --> 01:04:01,635
No, don't! Don't shoot, no!
1197
01:04:01,836 --> 01:04:04,380
-Face down, face down! Right now.
-No, no.
1198
01:04:04,444 --> 01:04:06,112
Dispatch, I need backup. Send units now!
1199
01:04:06,208 --> 01:04:08,126
-I'm down! I'm down! I'm down!
-I need more units. Backup now.
1200
01:04:08,134 --> 01:04:10,511
Guess what, kids? We're all going to jail.
1201
01:04:10,501 --> 01:04:13,295
-We are going to jail!
-Man, I hate jail!
1202
01:04:13,509 --> 01:04:17,179
-Izzy's gonna kill me!
-Don't move! We got a felon!
1203
01:04:18,323 --> 01:04:20,617
Okay. All right! I'm sorry.
1204
01:04:25,423 --> 01:04:26,549
What happened?
1205
01:04:27,148 --> 01:04:29,233
I'm sorry about the flight mechanism, ladies.
1206
01:04:29,194 --> 01:04:32,072
I kinda lose it when
I see those flashing lights.
1207
01:04:32,203 --> 01:04:33,704
I have a checkered past.
1208
01:04:33,687 --> 01:04:34,938
Okay, what about my van?
1209
01:04:34,971 --> 01:04:37,849
Well, it's quite a mess up there.
I got as close as I could.
1210
01:04:39,182 --> 01:04:41,226
They're hauling the criminals off now.
1211
01:04:41,188 --> 01:04:44,649
Seems it was stolen by
a mentally unstable man
1212
01:04:44,558 --> 01:04:47,728
with some kids and a parakeet.
1213
01:04:49,291 --> 01:04:50,292
Marco?
1214
01:04:50,896 --> 01:04:53,107
What? Why does Marco have my van?
1215
01:04:53,062 --> 01:04:54,981
-Where are my kids?
-It's okay.
1216
01:04:54,987 --> 01:04:55,988
What if they're in jail?
1217
01:04:56,311 --> 01:04:58,855
I don't think they can book a baby.
1218
01:04:58,919 --> 01:05:02,547
I may be wrong, but I don't think they can.
1219
01:05:08,546 --> 01:05:10,131
Go, go, go, go, go!
1220
01:05:12,156 --> 01:05:15,034
I knew it! She took her daddy's car.
1221
01:05:15,005 --> 01:05:17,716
I told Zoe that if she went to that rave,
she was gonna learn the hard way.
1222
01:05:17,692 --> 01:05:21,446
Her daddy is gonna kill her when
he finds out she's in the clink.
1223
01:05:21,382 --> 01:05:24,344
-"Clink"? Really? Can you please move?
-I'm sorry.
1224
01:05:24,712 --> 01:05:25,922
Come on!
1225
01:05:26,597 --> 01:05:28,308
Hey, I think you could probably just leave.
1226
01:05:28,322 --> 01:05:29,990
-Oh, no, darlin'.
-No?
1227
01:05:29,967 --> 01:05:32,720
No, no. I'm totally committed to this thing.
1228
01:05:32,775 --> 01:05:35,194
-I wanna see how it ends.
-Yeah.
1229
01:05:37,388 --> 01:05:39,599
-Are you taking my children?
-Do you have my daughter?
1230
01:05:39,594 --> 01:05:41,846
I need to file a missing person's report.
1231
01:05:41,841 --> 01:05:44,176
Did you have my van come in here?
1232
01:05:44,247 --> 01:05:46,249
I will find whatever foster care
you take my children to.
1233
01:05:46,254 --> 01:05:47,672
She's just going through a phase.
1234
01:05:47,697 --> 01:05:50,116
Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second!
1235
01:05:50,064 --> 01:05:52,942
Ma'am, just wait a second.
Hold on, and just one at a time...
1236
01:05:52,912 --> 01:05:54,789
Do not tell me to hold on.
I have a missing child.
1237
01:05:54,797 --> 01:05:56,424
No. What she's trying to say is that...
1238
01:05:56,443 --> 01:05:57,569
Ally, stop, okay?
1239
01:05:57,565 --> 01:05:59,609
Nothing you've done tonight
has helped in any way.
1240
01:05:59,611 --> 01:06:01,655
So just stop trying to fix things, okay?
1241
01:06:01,658 --> 01:06:04,035
This is what happens when
you take away people's cell phones!
1242
01:06:04,546 --> 01:06:06,214
Do you have my daughter?
1243
01:06:06,230 --> 01:06:08,399
Ma'am, what is your daughter's name?
1244
01:06:09,038 --> 01:06:10,831
I knew it. I knew this was gonna happen.
1245
01:06:10,844 --> 01:06:12,554
This is God punishing me for
the Woodstock Reunion.
1246
01:06:12,729 --> 01:06:13,814
Woodstock Reunion!
1247
01:06:14,935 --> 01:06:16,812
You were in the caravan.
1248
01:06:17,021 --> 01:06:19,440
I never forget a face.
1249
01:06:20,351 --> 01:06:22,144
Sarah? Sandy?
1250
01:06:22,476 --> 01:06:24,311
-Sondra?
-Sondra!
1251
01:06:26,288 --> 01:06:27,581
I love your tattoo.
1252
01:06:34,310 --> 01:06:35,645
Come on, ladies.
1253
01:06:37,880 --> 01:06:40,675
Whoa, whoa, whoa! You cannot go...
1254
01:06:41,090 --> 01:06:42,925
Think they gonna try to go in.
1255
01:06:43,215 --> 01:06:45,301
I don't think they want me in there right now.
1256
01:06:50,276 --> 01:06:53,905
All I really want to do right now
is call Sean and the kids.
1257
01:06:54,688 --> 01:06:56,857
There's a phone over there
by the metal detector.
1258
01:06:56,815 --> 01:07:00,610
Did anyone come in here tonight
that wasn't supposed to be in here?
1259
01:07:00,505 --> 01:07:02,382
No. Man, I don't know.
1260
01:07:02,471 --> 01:07:04,389
I don't think of asking them
those kind of questions,
1261
01:07:04,356 --> 01:07:08,276
but I think you're on to something
'cause I should inquire more of our patrons.
1262
01:07:08,167 --> 01:07:09,585
What about this? What about...
1263
01:07:09,611 --> 01:07:11,738
Does the word "Bones"
mean anything to you?
1264
01:07:12,018 --> 01:07:13,770
-It does.
-Okay. What does it mean?
1265
01:07:13,863 --> 01:07:15,781
-A person.
-Is it a person? Is it a person?
1266
01:07:15,789 --> 01:07:17,040
-It is.
-It's a person.
1267
01:07:17,072 --> 01:07:19,491
-Could it be the manager?
-Is Bones a manager here?
1268
01:07:19,479 --> 01:07:22,357
You are correct.
You're good at this one, bro. Keep him.
1269
01:07:22,367 --> 01:07:24,494
Do you know where they went?
Which direction they went?
1270
01:07:25,255 --> 01:07:29,509
-No, but I did see them leave.
-Where did they go?
1271
01:07:29,467 --> 01:07:31,010
To the right.
1272
01:07:31,914 --> 01:07:34,250
Out, and to the right.
1273
01:07:34,241 --> 01:07:35,909
No destination?
They didn't say where they were going?
1274
01:07:35,925 --> 01:07:39,262
-Well, I think the right is east.
-Ask him...
1275
01:07:40,098 --> 01:07:41,099
Sean?
1276
01:07:42,023 --> 01:07:44,275
-Hon?
-Where are you?
1277
01:07:44,270 --> 01:07:47,106
We're fine. We're fine.
We're at the tattoo parlor.
1278
01:07:47,077 --> 01:07:48,495
-What?
-Yeah, the tattoo...
1279
01:07:48,522 --> 01:07:49,648
It's a maze back there!
1280
01:07:49,685 --> 01:07:53,105
Officer, do you know how an experience
like this can scar a teenager?
1281
01:07:53,336 --> 01:07:54,504
Whoa, whoa. Calm down for a second.
1282
01:07:54,860 --> 01:07:56,403
-Back up!
-She's not a hardened criminal.
1283
01:07:56,424 --> 01:07:58,176
You're in my space... Hey!
1284
01:07:58,270 --> 01:08:00,564
Quiet, quiet! Shut up! It's Caprice!
1285
01:08:00,636 --> 01:08:01,762
-Hello.
-Sir, we got a situation up here.
1286
01:08:02,361 --> 01:08:05,072
Sean, this has been the worst night ever.
1287
01:08:05,009 --> 01:08:08,137
I honestly don't know
how it could get any worse.
1288
01:08:08,579 --> 01:08:10,915
All right. Yeah, all right. Don't move.
1289
01:08:10,985 --> 01:08:12,153
Where are you?
1290
01:08:12,871 --> 01:08:16,541
-Don't freak out. Some police station...
-With the police?
1291
01:08:20,091 --> 01:08:21,676
Okay, okay. We're coming. We got them.
1292
01:08:21,656 --> 01:08:25,326
-We gotta go. Yeah.
-You found them? Okay, let's do this.
1293
01:08:27,512 --> 01:08:30,891
Hey, big guy. Thanks very much. Okay.
1294
01:08:32,487 --> 01:08:35,574
Wait, so are the police coming or not?
1295
01:08:35,615 --> 01:08:38,702
-Phoenix is where? I can't...
-Sir, we got some unstable women up here.
1296
01:08:39,788 --> 01:08:42,457
No, no, no, no, no, no,
I hate you so much, I can't...
1297
01:08:42,515 --> 01:08:46,519
I'm just gonna kill somebody!
This is not... Is that a Taser?
1298
01:08:46,447 --> 01:08:47,531
I will tase you.
1299
01:08:47,811 --> 01:08:48,812
You cannot do this.
1300
01:08:48,894 --> 01:08:51,939
Stand down! I will tase you, woman!
1301
01:08:52,063 --> 01:08:53,564
How dare you?
My husband is the pastor at First...
1302
01:08:53,587 --> 01:08:55,547
Sir, they just came in here and started to...
1303
01:09:04,980 --> 01:09:06,565
That was an accident.
1304
01:09:12,120 --> 01:09:14,414
I can't feel my face.
1305
01:09:15,088 --> 01:09:16,882
Is this a nightmare?
1306
01:09:17,094 --> 01:09:19,763
My face has no feeling.
1307
01:09:21,387 --> 01:09:25,683
Bridget. We are gonna find your baby.
He is safe.
1308
01:09:26,962 --> 01:09:29,798
He is in the palm of God's hand.
1309
01:09:32,979 --> 01:09:36,900
And you know what?
I don't judge you. I don't.
1310
01:09:36,911 --> 01:09:40,956
I love you, and you know what?
God loves you.
1311
01:09:42,085 --> 01:09:45,213
Sondra, maybe you should just rest.
1312
01:09:48,464 --> 01:09:50,799
Ma'am, the kids are all fine.
1313
01:09:50,830 --> 01:09:52,164
Just wait.
1314
01:09:58,452 --> 01:10:01,247
I had tonight playing out differently
in my mind.
1315
01:10:08,842 --> 01:10:11,344
-Have a donut, Kevin.
-I want my lawyer.
1316
01:10:11,769 --> 01:10:14,314
All I heard Caprice say was that
Phoenix was fine.
1317
01:10:14,297 --> 01:10:16,466
But she didn't say where
and then my phone died.
1318
01:10:18,349 --> 01:10:20,476
You, ladies. Front and center.
1319
01:10:26,090 --> 01:10:28,760
Hello, ladies, I'm Sergeant Murphy.
1320
01:10:29,059 --> 01:10:33,104
We've been filling out an awful lot
of paperwork trying to unravel this mess.
1321
01:10:33,030 --> 01:10:37,367
But for now,
I would like for us to do one thing.
1322
01:10:39,288 --> 01:10:40,665
Stay calm.
1323
01:10:41,053 --> 01:10:43,055
Can you do that for me?
1324
01:10:43,259 --> 01:10:45,804
I'm calm. I feel very calm.
1325
01:10:45,827 --> 01:10:48,413
Can you do that? Can you be calm?
1326
01:10:48,555 --> 01:10:49,973
I'm so happy.
1327
01:10:51,042 --> 01:10:53,544
Well, you have a visitor.
1328
01:10:57,299 --> 01:10:58,300
Mom!
1329
01:10:58,744 --> 01:10:59,912
Zoe!
1330
01:11:00,348 --> 01:11:01,766
Why are you in jail?
1331
01:11:02,434 --> 01:11:04,478
I'm not! You are.
1332
01:11:05,282 --> 01:11:08,327
I've been in the back
filling out this missing person's report.
1333
01:11:08,290 --> 01:11:09,291
You're alive!
1334
01:11:09,334 --> 01:11:11,336
I am so glad that you're alive!
1335
01:11:11,339 --> 01:11:14,426
I called the restaurant and they said that
your car had been stolen.
1336
01:11:14,388 --> 01:11:18,309
And so, I called Dad, and he's with Sean
and he told me that you guys were in trouble.
1337
01:11:18,198 --> 01:11:21,994
So I got so freaked out that
I drove over here in his car,
1338
01:11:21,929 --> 01:11:23,598
which was awesome!
1339
01:11:23,855 --> 01:11:25,065
But I'm so sorry.
1340
01:11:25,259 --> 01:11:27,470
So you didn't go out with Steve.
1341
01:11:27,585 --> 01:11:31,339
What? No! He's a total player, you were right.
1342
01:11:31,396 --> 01:11:33,690
Facebook, I'm his number three.
1343
01:11:34,726 --> 01:11:35,727
Oh, Zoe.
1344
01:11:35,849 --> 01:11:37,267
Go ahead and say it.
1345
01:11:37,494 --> 01:11:40,831
You were right.
I'm a pastor's daughter, I should be perfect!
1346
01:11:40,984 --> 01:11:44,154
No! Honey, that is not it at all!
1347
01:11:44,674 --> 01:11:48,011
I love you, and I'm so proud of you.
1348
01:11:48,204 --> 01:11:52,333
I just don't want you to go through
the pain of making the same mistakes
1349
01:11:52,216 --> 01:11:53,384
that I did.
1350
01:11:53,660 --> 01:11:55,995
I was wild, Zoe.
1351
01:11:56,989 --> 01:12:01,577
I was a wild child, and there is something
you should know about me.
1352
01:12:03,970 --> 01:12:05,763
I have a tattoo.
1353
01:12:11,110 --> 01:12:12,862
Is that a face?
1354
01:12:13,557 --> 01:12:15,350
It's Donny Osmond.
1355
01:12:16,284 --> 01:12:17,994
It was a mad crush and...
1356
01:12:18,972 --> 01:12:20,431
Well, I was gonna get it removed,
1357
01:12:20,416 --> 01:12:23,461
but it kinda started looking like
your dad, so...
1358
01:12:24,869 --> 01:12:27,705
I'm never... I'm never getting a tattoo.
1359
01:12:27,637 --> 01:12:30,306
Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Donny.
1360
01:12:49,539 --> 01:12:52,459
All my friends are in jail, Bones.
1361
01:12:53,149 --> 01:12:58,071
Well, I know how that feels.
1362
01:13:02,054 --> 01:13:03,681
I'm a failure.
1363
01:13:04,381 --> 01:13:07,384
I have failed again. That's all I do.
1364
01:13:09,676 --> 01:13:11,386
I had a plan.
1365
01:13:12,003 --> 01:13:15,757
I was gonna help myself
and help my friends unplug and have fun,
1366
01:13:15,654 --> 01:13:19,991
and then Bridget happened, so then
I thought I could fix that, too, and instead...
1367
01:13:27,889 --> 01:13:29,223
I can't.
1368
01:13:30,696 --> 01:13:32,698
I can't get in front of it.
1369
01:13:34,748 --> 01:13:39,878
No matter how hard I try,
no matter how much I give, I'm just...
1370
01:13:41,608 --> 01:13:43,360
I'm not enough.
1371
01:13:45,137 --> 01:13:46,388
For who?
1372
01:13:47,223 --> 01:13:48,224
What?
1373
01:13:49,309 --> 01:13:50,935
Not enough for who?
1374
01:13:53,641 --> 01:13:59,647
I mean, Sean, the kids,
for my mother, God, everybody. I don't know.
1375
01:14:00,380 --> 01:14:01,882
You?
1376
01:14:03,951 --> 01:14:05,828
Not enough for you?
1377
01:14:15,784 --> 01:14:17,828
I was raised in church.
1378
01:14:19,234 --> 01:14:22,654
This might surprise you, but I have since
1379
01:14:24,770 --> 01:14:26,855
drifted from the faith.
1380
01:14:28,220 --> 01:14:29,555
Shocker.
1381
01:14:31,911 --> 01:14:35,206
My mama worked three jobs.
1382
01:14:36,323 --> 01:14:38,242
I never met my daddy.
1383
01:14:41,137 --> 01:14:44,807
I had to get up early and walk to school,
1384
01:14:44,827 --> 01:14:49,081
but I'd wait up for her
coming home from the diner.
1385
01:14:50,443 --> 01:14:52,362
I'd wait up every night.
1386
01:14:53,251 --> 01:14:57,839
'Cause she'd come home
and she'd put me to bed
1387
01:14:57,905 --> 01:15:00,074
and she'd tell me something.
1388
01:15:01,194 --> 01:15:03,780
She'd tell me the same thing every night.
1389
01:15:06,890 --> 01:15:08,767
"He loves you, Charles.
1390
01:15:09,417 --> 01:15:14,381
"No matter who you are,
no matter what you do, or how far you run,
1391
01:15:15,997 --> 01:15:19,959
"Jesus will always be loving you
with his arms open wide,
1392
01:15:19,968 --> 01:15:21,469
"just for being you."
1393
01:15:25,262 --> 01:15:27,806
And I'd smile and go off to sleep.
1394
01:15:32,323 --> 01:15:35,826
You know,
I saw something on Pinterest the other day.
1395
01:15:36,976 --> 01:15:38,561
It was an eagle.
1396
01:15:38,741 --> 01:15:41,953
Just caring for its young.
1397
01:15:44,838 --> 01:15:48,467
It's a beautiful thing to watch
one of God's creations just
1398
01:15:48,850 --> 01:15:52,061
doing what He made it to do.
1399
01:15:52,380 --> 01:15:55,216
Just being an eagle.
1400
01:15:57,153 --> 01:15:58,697
And that's enough.
1401
01:16:03,812 --> 01:16:08,025
You all spend so much time
beating yourselves up.
1402
01:16:07,944 --> 01:16:10,029
Must be exhausting.
1403
01:16:12,437 --> 01:16:14,106
Let me tell you something, girl.
1404
01:16:16,489 --> 01:16:22,120
I doubt the Good Lord made a mistake
giving your kiddos the mama He did.
1405
01:16:24,793 --> 01:16:28,296
So you just be you.
1406
01:16:31,290 --> 01:16:33,251
He'll take care of the rest.
1407
01:16:41,199 --> 01:16:43,535
That was really profound, Bones.
1408
01:16:44,689 --> 01:16:45,732
What?
1409
01:16:46,454 --> 01:16:49,499
What'd I say? Something good?
1410
01:16:50,465 --> 01:16:52,133
Pinterest, really?
1411
01:16:52,872 --> 01:16:55,417
Yeah, I don't go on it much anymore.
1412
01:16:55,479 --> 01:16:58,149
Everybody's tats are better than mine.
1413
01:17:06,832 --> 01:17:08,333
Another visitor.
1414
01:17:09,319 --> 01:17:11,154
-Ally, get me outta here.
-Yes.
1415
01:17:11,164 --> 01:17:14,334
I just cleared up the misunderstanding with
the van. Just saw Marco and all the kids.
1416
01:17:14,294 --> 01:17:16,045
-Your kids, too?
-Yes. Everybody's fine. Don't ask.
1417
01:17:16,058 --> 01:17:18,102
Here's your stuff.
They're all in the interrogation room.
1418
01:17:18,064 --> 01:17:21,317
Only because the kids wouldn't stop playing
with the fingerprint equipment.
1419
01:17:22,476 --> 01:17:24,728
So, can you take my van
and watch my kids for a few hours?
1420
01:17:24,803 --> 01:17:26,180
Sure. Why?
1421
01:17:27,050 --> 01:17:28,385
Yeah. Okay.
1422
01:17:29,136 --> 01:17:30,470
Follow me.
1423
01:17:34,471 --> 01:17:35,597
Hey, Bridge.
1424
01:17:37,198 --> 01:17:42,161
I bet you think I'm an awful person, right?
Worst mother ever.
1425
01:17:43,737 --> 01:17:46,364
Yeah, I know how that feels.
1426
01:17:46,304 --> 01:17:48,640
Yeah, but you have it all figured out, right?
1427
01:17:49,233 --> 01:17:51,360
Not even a little bit.
1428
01:17:54,808 --> 01:17:58,312
I'm really sorry that
I dragged you into all this, and I'm...
1429
01:17:58,820 --> 01:18:00,363
I'm sorry that I ruined your night.
1430
01:18:01,908 --> 01:18:06,038
Okay, first of all, you did not ruin anything.
1431
01:18:06,442 --> 01:18:11,113
And secondly, Bridge,
this mom thing is crazy hard.
1432
01:18:11,256 --> 01:18:13,800
And you're doing an amazing job.
1433
01:18:16,510 --> 01:18:17,511
Really?
1434
01:18:18,115 --> 01:18:19,116
Yes.
1435
01:18:19,679 --> 01:18:24,100
Yes, so come on! We got a baby to find.
Let's go, girl! Come on!
1436
01:18:29,508 --> 01:18:32,302
-Sondra! Are you okay?
-Yeah, I'm fine. Now where are we going?
1437
01:18:32,235 --> 01:18:34,279
Well, we're going back to Caprice's,
but don't worry, I got this.
1438
01:18:34,281 --> 01:18:37,284
No, I'm gonna come.
I'm just a little stress-paralyzed.
1439
01:18:37,250 --> 01:18:38,584
-I knew that was a thing.
-Yeah.
1440
01:18:38,614 --> 01:18:40,991
I'll be right behind you,
just give me a minute.
1441
01:18:41,421 --> 01:18:43,507
Oh, good. He's still here. Come on.
1442
01:18:45,754 --> 01:18:48,006
-Hey!
-I'm sorry, referee!
1443
01:18:48,080 --> 01:18:49,540
-Yeah. You okay?
-Yeah.
1444
01:18:49,524 --> 01:18:50,734
Okay. Yeah. Back to Caprice's, yeah?
1445
01:18:52,092 --> 01:18:55,262
I know that you're in there!
Is Phoenix with you?
1446
01:18:56,304 --> 01:18:57,764
Is that a wrestling show?
1447
01:18:57,788 --> 01:18:59,915
All I hear is anger and rage. I don't know.
1448
01:19:09,782 --> 01:19:11,784
Do you have any other ideas?
1449
01:19:12,470 --> 01:19:15,264
-Nope.
-Hey, thanks for the ride.
1450
01:19:18,247 --> 01:19:20,582
Wait! There's the deadbeat!
1451
01:19:25,547 --> 01:19:26,590
Hank!
1452
01:19:26,590 --> 01:19:28,967
Lady, I don't know! I told you, I don't know!
1453
01:19:28,957 --> 01:19:32,710
-I haven't seen her! I haven't seen her!
-Get back here! Bridget, come on!
1454
01:19:33,490 --> 01:19:36,117
I have pepper spray
and I am not afraid to use it!
1455
01:19:36,057 --> 01:19:37,934
-Calm down!
-I'm sure your baby's fine!
1456
01:19:37,942 --> 01:19:39,652
-No, no! Bridget! Bridget!
-Calm down.
1457
01:19:39,627 --> 01:19:41,671
-Wait, he's getting away!
-Oh, no!
1458
01:19:43,157 --> 01:19:44,826
-Joey?
-It burns!
1459
01:19:45,725 --> 01:19:47,143
Joey, what are you doing here?
1460
01:19:47,249 --> 01:19:48,291
He's getting away!
1461
01:19:49,776 --> 01:19:51,695
You're crazy! You're crazy!
1462
01:19:51,662 --> 01:19:52,663
Let's have some!
1463
01:20:01,449 --> 01:20:03,451
That is gonna bring tears to his eyes.
1464
01:20:03,575 --> 01:20:07,370
-I'm trying to look for Phoenix!
-Does he know where Phoenix is?
1465
01:20:07,587 --> 01:20:09,005
Well, he's not exactly conscious.
1466
01:20:09,272 --> 01:20:11,357
-What?
-If you know what I mean.
1467
01:20:13,443 --> 01:20:16,655
After your big date,
you decided to come and help me!
1468
01:20:16,612 --> 01:20:18,072
What? No!
1469
01:20:18,096 --> 01:20:21,642
After my interview!
I'm trying to get a job, man!
1470
01:20:21,788 --> 01:20:23,790
You're trying to... A job?
1471
01:20:25,358 --> 01:20:26,692
What is that?
1472
01:20:56,446 --> 01:20:58,031
-Sondra?
-Ally.
1473
01:21:00,297 --> 01:21:03,884
I told Ray everything that happened and,
well, he made some calls.
1474
01:21:03,827 --> 01:21:05,203
Hey, look. Don't freak out.
1475
01:21:05,231 --> 01:21:07,608
Half these guys are from
First Baptist Church.
1476
01:21:07,598 --> 01:21:10,475
The other half are from
the biker gang known as...
1477
01:21:10,406 --> 01:21:11,908
The Skulls.
1478
01:21:12,412 --> 01:21:14,831
The biker gang known as the Skulls.
1479
01:21:14,778 --> 01:21:15,821
But we're all here for the same reason.
1480
01:21:16,021 --> 01:21:19,483
We love you, Bridget.
We love your family, we always have.
1481
01:21:19,432 --> 01:21:20,641
That's right.
1482
01:21:28,698 --> 01:21:29,699
Hey, hon.
1483
01:21:30,704 --> 01:21:31,705
Hi.
1484
01:21:32,629 --> 01:21:33,880
You okay?
1485
01:21:36,721 --> 01:21:38,556
We got a baby to find.
1486
01:21:39,930 --> 01:21:41,097
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
1487
01:21:41,213 --> 01:21:42,631
First things first.
1488
01:21:43,621 --> 01:21:46,207
We need to establish a 12-block perimeter.
1489
01:21:46,267 --> 01:21:48,186
-Y'all here are looking for a baby?
-Yes.
1490
01:21:48,193 --> 01:21:50,112
Yeah, my son. Ten months old?
1491
01:21:50,118 --> 01:21:51,995
-Dressed like Bono? What?
-What?
1492
01:21:52,165 --> 01:21:55,334
-The name Caprice mean anything to you?
-Yes!
1493
01:21:55,414 --> 01:21:59,585
That's the person that was supposed to be
taking care of him. Why?
1494
01:21:59,906 --> 01:22:01,533
Y'all come with me.
1495
01:22:03,116 --> 01:22:04,409
Come on in.
1496
01:22:08,170 --> 01:22:09,547
Honey, look who I found.
1497
01:22:10,256 --> 01:22:12,091
You must be the mama.
1498
01:22:13,626 --> 01:22:15,127
He just woke up.
1499
01:22:15,271 --> 01:22:19,650
It's been a long time since I've held a baby.
So precious.
1500
01:22:23,735 --> 01:22:26,112
That's him. Oh, God.
1501
01:22:26,944 --> 01:22:28,112
You're not even from this country.
1502
01:22:28,107 --> 01:22:29,233
How would you know
how to get around this?
1503
01:22:29,230 --> 01:22:31,399
There's no need to get personal.
I'm just trying to help.
1504
01:22:31,396 --> 01:22:33,899
-I'm not getting personal. I'm just...
-You can't go that way.
1505
01:22:38,697 --> 01:22:40,115
-Yes! Yes!
-Yeah.
1506
01:22:41,425 --> 01:22:43,386
We found him!
1507
01:22:47,162 --> 01:22:48,246
Yeah!
1508
01:22:49,047 --> 01:22:50,757
Call off the chopper.
1509
01:22:53,058 --> 01:22:54,059
What?
1510
01:22:55,425 --> 01:22:57,468
Guys! We just found a baby!
1511
01:23:00,801 --> 01:23:02,552
All right, wrap this puppy up.
Let's get out of here.
1512
01:23:02,565 --> 01:23:04,608
Wait, hang on. Where are my babies?
1513
01:23:04,691 --> 01:23:08,278
-They're at your house with Kevin.
-With Kevin?
1514
01:23:08,181 --> 01:23:11,017
This is me trying really hard
not to have a panic attack.
1515
01:23:10,990 --> 01:23:13,409
Kids, this is a knife. Who wants to hold it?
1516
01:23:14,318 --> 01:23:15,486
Sean!
1517
01:23:30,524 --> 01:23:34,237
-I don't know what the big deal is.
-Because he's a man boy, Izzy!
1518
01:23:40,634 --> 01:23:41,802
Allyson.
1519
01:23:41,918 --> 01:23:42,919
Kevin.
1520
01:23:43,602 --> 01:23:45,896
This is such a good book.
1521
01:24:38,358 --> 01:24:41,653
My life needs to change for me to be happy.
1522
01:24:42,570 --> 01:24:45,031
That would be false.
1523
01:24:46,621 --> 01:24:49,541
In truth, my life hasn't changed much at all.
1524
01:24:50,513 --> 01:24:51,848
I have.
1525
01:24:51,836 --> 01:24:54,172
Breakfast in bed!
1526
01:24:54,163 --> 01:24:55,164
Boom!
1527
01:24:56,169 --> 01:24:58,004
Wow, thank you!
1528
01:24:58,575 --> 01:25:01,662
True, I'm not smiling all the time.
1529
01:25:01,624 --> 01:25:04,669
But I am smiling more.
1530
01:25:05,034 --> 01:25:06,828
Smiling at the little things.
1531
01:25:06,799 --> 01:25:13,013
At my crazy, stressful, over-the-top,
kind of beautiful life.
1532
01:25:15,143 --> 01:25:18,897
False, I am a failure.
1533
01:25:19,355 --> 01:25:22,859
Yes. Very, very false.
1534
01:25:22,804 --> 01:25:24,097
"False."
1535
01:25:24,088 --> 01:25:26,549
I'm not perfect. I make plenty of mistakes.
1536
01:25:26,535 --> 01:25:28,704
But I am right where God wants me to be
1537
01:25:28,701 --> 01:25:32,372
and He has given me
everything I need to be a mom.
1538
01:25:38,048 --> 01:25:39,550
I'm a mess.
1539
01:25:40,054 --> 01:25:42,056
But I'm a beautiful mess.
1540
01:25:42,861 --> 01:25:44,488
I'm His masterpiece.
1541
01:25:46,472 --> 01:25:47,640
And that's enough.
1542
01:26:05,686 --> 01:26:08,189
I love you the most of everybody.
1543
01:26:09,578 --> 01:26:11,121
I love you.
1544
01:26:12,225 --> 01:26:14,394
-Gotta go bowl.
-Okay, baby.
1545
01:26:16,557 --> 01:26:18,226
Hey, hon.
1546
01:26:18,242 --> 01:26:20,411
You have 235 followers.
1547
01:26:20,408 --> 01:26:22,327
-Seriously?
-Yeah.
1548
01:26:24,420 --> 01:26:26,089
-I have a blog.
-Yes, you do.
1549
01:26:26,105 --> 01:26:28,733
-I am a mommy blogger.
-Yes, you are.
1550
01:26:30,397 --> 01:26:34,109
Wow. Hon, your job...
1551
01:26:34,167 --> 01:26:37,004
Is hard. Yes, I know.
1552
01:26:38,179 --> 01:26:39,472
That's what you were gonna say, right?
1553
01:26:40,065 --> 01:26:44,361
No. Or easy, easy, maybe? Or unnecessary?
1554
01:26:44,959 --> 01:26:46,627
Sorry for interrupting. Just, what?
1555
01:26:47,365 --> 01:26:48,742
Important.
1556
01:26:50,294 --> 01:26:54,966
That's what I was gonna say.
Your job is important.
1557
01:26:56,512 --> 01:26:59,890
I mean, I know it's rough,
but, I mean, look at them.
1558
01:27:18,895 --> 01:27:20,730
So worth it.
1559
01:27:24,110 --> 01:27:26,196
"The hand that rocks the cradle
1560
01:27:27,480 --> 01:27:29,524
"is the hand that rules the world."
1561
01:27:32,695 --> 01:27:34,322
Where did you read that?
1562
01:27:34,620 --> 01:27:36,413
Some blog somewhere.
1563
01:28:03,582 --> 01:28:05,584
Guys. No, hey!
1564
01:28:05,548 --> 01:28:08,843
Guys, that's gross. Don't do that in here.
You're really way too old.
1565
01:28:08,918 --> 01:28:11,420
-Guys. Stop it! Stop it right now.
-What?
1566
01:28:14,013 --> 01:28:16,557
Dance Cam!
1567
01:28:42,895 --> 01:28:44,062
Go, baby!
1568
01:30:27,111 --> 01:30:30,364
Come on, eat your breakfast. Eat it.
One bite won't kill you.
1569
01:30:30,401 --> 01:30:32,403
One bite. Okay. All right, here we go.
1570
01:30:36,619 --> 01:30:38,454
Oh, that burns. That's so hot!
1571
01:30:38,424 --> 01:30:40,009
That's a lot of pepper.
1572
01:30:40,389 --> 01:30:43,226
-What are you doing?
-Playing hide and go seek.
1573
01:30:43,639 --> 01:30:44,890
That was 15 minutes ago!
1574
01:30:44,922 --> 01:30:46,883
They still haven't found me.
1575
01:30:49,054 --> 01:30:51,348
You know what?
I babysat my cousin's kids once.
1576
01:30:51,341 --> 01:30:53,677
We just popped in a movie
and that did it for a few hours.
1577
01:30:54,630 --> 01:30:56,632
-What'd you show them?
-Silence of the Lambs.
1578
01:30:59,122 --> 01:31:01,333
Oh, yeah, the big church.
1579
01:31:01,730 --> 01:31:04,066
We'd love to have you visit us one Sunday.
11:00 a.m.
1580
01:31:04,056 --> 01:31:05,600
-Really?
-Yeah.
1581
01:31:05,621 --> 01:31:07,039
Dude, that'd be awesome.
1582
01:31:07,146 --> 01:31:10,066
Hey, and you can visit that chair over there
and get a tattoo.
1583
01:31:10,515 --> 01:31:13,518
-That's something to consider.
-I think so, man.
1584
01:31:16,973 --> 01:31:17,974
Got it?
1585
01:31:18,057 --> 01:31:19,850
-Geronimo!
-Yes!
1586
01:31:21,627 --> 01:31:23,337
I hate this car.
1587
01:31:26,079 --> 01:31:28,582
You know, like,
I feel like I'm totally built for this.
1588
01:31:28,566 --> 01:31:31,653
You know, like, all we need to do
so that we can totally do this.
1589
01:31:31,575 --> 01:31:33,327
I'm built for two. I can handle two.
1590
01:31:33,620 --> 01:31:35,289
I'm pregnant.
1591
01:33:08,772 --> 01:33:10,941
Hi. Sorry. Thank you. Tonight has been...
1592
01:33:10,938 --> 01:33:13,691
Yeah. It was profound.
You owe me all kinds of money.
1593
01:33:13,666 --> 01:33:14,917
Yes, I do.
1594
01:33:14,909 --> 01:33:16,953
No, no, go, go, you guys. I got this.
1595
01:33:16,955 --> 01:33:18,457
What are we talking about here?
1596
01:33:18,479 --> 01:33:20,940
Right. What are we talking about? Let's see.
1597
01:33:20,926 --> 01:33:25,556
Tire... Actually, two tires, police station.
So that'll be $984.50, please.
1598
01:33:25,941 --> 01:33:27,526
Is that dollars?
1599
01:33:27,626 --> 01:33:30,420
No, Chinese yen. Of course it's dollars.
1600
01:34:26,112 --> 01:34:27,322
Hey.
1601
01:34:30,003 --> 01:34:31,963
You are so hot right now.
1602
01:34:32,049 --> 01:34:34,302
I know, it's disgusting. I gotta take a shower.
1603
01:34:38,468 --> 01:34:41,637
Really? That's great.
That's what does it for you?
1604
01:34:44,003 --> 01:34:45,088
What, what, what, what, what?
1605
01:34:45,126 --> 01:34:46,294
It's all right. No, no. It's okay.
1606
01:34:46,329 --> 01:34:47,748
-What'd I do? What'd I do, honey?
-Oh, gosh, it hurts.
1607
01:34:47,774 --> 01:34:49,025
No. It's just my shoulder. It's okay.
1608
01:34:49,058 --> 01:34:50,434
-It's okay. It's okay.
-Okay. Okay.
1609
01:34:50,461 --> 01:34:52,088
-'Kay, don't move. Okay.
-Okay.
1610
01:34:52,106 --> 01:34:53,274
-Okay, move a little.
-What are you doing?
1611
01:34:56,078 --> 01:34:59,373
Just giving Daddy a little cuddle.
1612
01:34:59,327 --> 01:35:00,829
Little cuddle.
1613
01:35:01,653 --> 01:35:03,196
Morning, baby. You all right?
1614
01:35:03,178 --> 01:35:05,639
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's okay.
It's been happening.
1615
01:35:05,585 --> 01:35:07,628
-Okay. Okay.
-Hold on. Check this out.
1616
01:35:07,670 --> 01:35:09,881
-What're you gonna do?
-Don't be scared.
1617
01:35:11,602 --> 01:35:13,812
-Love it!
-What?