1 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,679 Evenin' fell just like a star 2 00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:57,182 Left a trail behind 3 00:00:58,851 --> 00:01:01,395 You spitted You slammed out the door 4 00:01:03,856 --> 00:01:06,108 If this is love, we're crazy 5 00:01:06,984 --> 00:01:09,486 'Cause we fight like cats and dogs 6 00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:13,156 I just know there's got to be more 7 00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,415 Please call me, baby 8 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,169 Wherever you are 9 00:01:26,128 --> 00:01:29,173 It's too cold to be out walkin' in the streets 10 00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:34,428 We do crazy things when we're wounded 11 00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:37,097 Everyone's pretty insane 12 00:01:40,392 --> 00:01:43,228 I don't want you catchin' your death of cold 13 00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:46,648 Out walkin' in the rain 14 00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:06,793 I admit that I ain't no angel 15 00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:09,963 I admit that I ain't no saint 16 00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:14,218 I'm selfish and I'm cruel but you're blind 17 00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:19,014 If I exorcise my devils 18 00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:22,601 Well, my angels may leave too 19 00:02:23,727 --> 00:02:26,522 When they leave they're so hard to find 20 00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:34,530 Please call me, baby 21 00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,242 Wherever you are 22 00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:42,412 It's too cold to be out walkin' in the streets 23 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:47,543 We do crazy things when we're wounded 24 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,087 Everyone's pretty insane 25 00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:56,343 I don't want you catchin' your death of cold 26 00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:59,680 Out walkin' in the rain 27 00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:12,067 Answer me honestly. 28 00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:15,445 If I was to tell you that I love you.... 29 00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:19,700 and that I'd throw it all away to be with you... 30 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,952 w-what would you say to me? 31 00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:24,538 Good night, Paulie. 32 00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:30,919 Yep. Yep, that's about par for the evening. 33 00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:34,173 But what I want to see 34 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,302 Is the way things used to be 35 00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:42,931 Between you and me 36 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,352 The way things used to be 37 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,734 Let me guess. 38 00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:58,947 Your old lady got fed up because you're out here chasing the skirt... 39 00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:01,909 so she took these little ones and left you. 40 00:04:02,201 --> 00:04:05,996 It's a little more com-- It's a little more complicated than that. 41 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:09,541 Oh, yes, it always is. Everybody thinks their story is the one with the twist. 42 00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:12,544 But let me tell you, in my experience it's-- 43 00:04:13,045 --> 00:04:15,172 - Holy shit. - Exactly. 44 00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:19,051 - This I've got to hear. - No, look, uh, it's a long story. 45 00:04:19,051 --> 00:04:21,303 And I know you're ver-- I know you're very busy... 46 00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:24,264 and I don't really feel like swapping stories... 47 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:28,310 - Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no, wait. - if you want to know the truth. 48 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:32,773 Hmm? 49 00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:38,779 Okay, now tell me, Father, how long has it been since your last drink? 50 00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:44,993 Um, it's been about a minute and a half since my last drink. 51 00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:47,746 Of course. Now, what about these kids? 52 00:04:50,249 --> 00:04:51,792 Okay, um-- 53 00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:56,338 - Well, you see the one on the right? - Mmm. 54 00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:58,882 - The cu-- The cute one? - Mm-hmm. 55 00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:00,425 That's me. 56 00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:04,137 - That's very cute. - Brian Finn. 57 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,848 Paulie Chopra. 58 00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:09,059 Okay, well-- Now, you see this kid on the left? 59 00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:11,228 - Mmm. - That was my best friend Jake. 60 00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:13,480 - He's a priest too? - Jake? 61 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,608 No, um, as it-- as it turns out, Jake's a rabbi. 62 00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:20,821 Come on. A priest and a rabbi? I think I've heard this one. 63 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:25,117 No, look, I've heard all those, and, trust me, you have not heard this one. 64 00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:30,163 Okay? So there's this priest and this rabbi, and they're best friends. 65 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:34,418 - Mmm. - But before they were a priest and a rabbi... 66 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,880 they both knew this girl. 67 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,007 - Ah, the girl. - Yeah. 68 00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:44,178 - Who's the girl? - That's Anna Reilly. 69 00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:46,972 Reilly? Let me guess. She became a nun? 70 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:50,642 Not quite. Not quite. 71 00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:56,190 See, we all met in the sixth grade at P.S. 84 right here in Manhattan. 72 00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:03,071 I think I already knew Jake, and then we both met Anna. 73 00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:06,742 No, wait, you know what? Actually, I remember exactly how we met... 74 00:06:06,742 --> 00:06:10,370 'cause, well, it was sort of one of those defining moments. 75 00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:16,502 Well, after that we were pretty much inseparable. 76 00:06:23,759 --> 00:06:27,679 Now, Jake and I were definitely what you'd call "late bloomers." 77 00:06:27,930 --> 00:06:30,849 And your average seventh-grade girl's attentions can be pretty fickle. 78 00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:33,894 But not Anna. Her loyalty to us was constant. 79 00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:37,689 Anna was the friend that every 13-year-old boy dreams of. 80 00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:41,985 You know, that magical cross between Jonny Quest and Tatum O'Neal in Foxes. 81 00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:47,115 Yes! Yes! 82 00:06:57,876 --> 00:07:01,839 Yeah, we were some trio. Anna used to call us "two Micks and a Yid." 83 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:04,132 She was gonna make T-shirts. 84 00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:07,219 You know, there's eight million people in New York... 85 00:07:07,219 --> 00:07:12,266 but when the three of us were together it felt like we were living on our own little island. 86 00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:15,352 But New York is an island. 87 00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:18,522 I'm trying to sprinkle a little fairy dust here. 88 00:07:18,522 --> 00:07:21,650 - I'm-- I'm trying to tell a story. - I'm terribly sorry. 89 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:24,862 - Continue. Go on. Sprinkle away. - Mm-hmm. Okay. 90 00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:28,156 Well, then disaster struck. 91 00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:32,244 The summer after eighth grade, Anna's father got a job in California... 92 00:07:32,244 --> 00:07:34,788 and just like that, she was gone. 93 00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:47,092 Well, as for me and Jake, our friendship just got stronger and stronger. 94 00:07:47,092 --> 00:07:49,887 In most ways, we were like any other two kids in New York... 95 00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:53,140 but our relationship did have this one unusual component-- 96 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,767 we were fascinated with each other's religions. 97 00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:58,770 He showed me the secret rituals of Judaism... 98 00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:01,899 and I let him in on the Catholic mysteries. 99 00:08:01,899 --> 00:08:05,235 Just remember: spectacles, testicles, watch, wallet. 100 00:08:15,871 --> 00:08:20,751 I bet you're wondering what makes two kids wanna become a priest and a rabbi in this day and age. 101 00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:23,837 Well, you know, people don't talk that much about a calling any more... 102 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:26,048 but I just knew it was something I was supposed to do. 103 00:08:26,048 --> 00:08:30,928 And even way back then, everybody just seemed to feel good bringing their problems to me. 104 00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:34,014 My parents had basically given up on children when I came along... 105 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,642 so my mother always called me her gift from God. 106 00:08:36,642 --> 00:08:41,563 That really stuck with me, and when I was eight I told her I had a feeling I was supposed to return the favour. 107 00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:43,607 She was so happy, she cried. 108 00:08:43,607 --> 00:08:47,361 My dad just wanted to know if working for God came with dental. 109 00:08:49,321 --> 00:08:53,325 Now, Jake's sense of a calling might not have gelled as early as mine. 110 00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:56,453 Religion was really more of a hobby for him at first. 111 00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:58,997 Got it. Got it. Need it. Need it. 112 00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:03,168 Got it. Got it. Need it. Got it. 113 00:09:07,923 --> 00:09:10,259 Jake was just one of those special kids, you know. 114 00:09:10,259 --> 00:09:15,222 He was smart, popular. Everything came easy to him. He just had that kind of aura about him. 115 00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:20,477 You took one look at this kid and you knew he could do anything he wanted with his life. 116 00:09:20,644 --> 00:09:24,565 Jake's family had been in the investment banking business for three generations. 117 00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:29,194 His father and his brother Ethan both tried to convince him to join them at the family firm. 118 00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:35,117 I think he gave it some serious thought, but in the end he decided he wanted to do something different with his life. 119 00:09:35,117 --> 00:09:39,246 When he made his decision to become a rabbi, he did it with great confidence and resolve. 120 00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:41,415 I don't want to listen to any of you! 121 00:09:41,415 --> 00:09:45,377 Jake and I went off to seminary the way other guys go off to the army or the Peace Corps. 122 00:09:45,377 --> 00:09:47,337 It was an adventure. 123 00:09:48,881 --> 00:09:53,594 Newly ordained as masters of theology, we were both assigned back to New York City... 124 00:09:53,886 --> 00:09:57,556 where we quickly confronted the practical aspects of our jobs. 125 00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:24,750 Oh! Jesus! 126 00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:38,555 And despite these early setbacks, we eventually found our groove. 127 00:10:38,931 --> 00:10:42,601 - Take it nice and easy. Win 'em over slowly. Okay? - Okay. 128 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,395 Shabbat shalom, everyone. 129 00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:47,606 Before we get started, I want you all to do me a favour. 130 00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:51,652 I want everybody in the back there to come on forward and fiIl up these first three rows here. 131 00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:55,280 Oh, guys, come on. Let's try one more time. Shabbat shalom! 132 00:10:56,365 --> 00:10:58,951 - Shabbat shalom! - Thank you, Mom. 133 00:10:59,368 --> 00:11:01,870 Ma'am, you in the back. Yes, you. Come on. 134 00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:04,206 God hates a solo artist, I promise you. 135 00:11:04,206 --> 00:11:06,834 We're gonna be the Fugees here this morning. No Lauryn Hills. 136 00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:09,419 Okay, my mom is the only person in the room... 137 00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:13,799 approximating the level of "Shabbat shalom"-iness that I think we can hit. 138 00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:20,222 Sir, you're leaving. Why-- I-- It's customary to sneak out after the Communion. 139 00:11:20,639 --> 00:11:23,392 Now, give me something I can work with, folks. Shabbat shalom! 140 00:11:23,392 --> 00:11:26,895 - Shabbat shalom! - All right! Now we're ready to daven! 141 00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:31,817 I don't want to brag, but the word got out that there was a new act in town... 142 00:11:31,817 --> 00:11:36,488 and soon we were playing to the packed houses I always knew we'd been destined for. 143 00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:40,242 I know. I know! 144 00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:49,418 I-- I-- I know. But seriously, what is the story of Sodom and Gomorrah really about? 145 00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:52,462 - Anybody. Steve Posner. - Sexual perversion. 146 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:57,467 Sexual perversion. Steve Posner's watching a little too much Spice Channel, okay. 147 00:11:57,509 --> 00:12:01,096 The Seven Deadly Sins. Who can name the Seven Deadly Sins? 148 00:12:04,183 --> 00:12:08,937 People, it was a very popular film with Brad Pitt. You have the ultimate Cliff note. 149 00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:12,858 And Lot takes them in and he protects them. 150 00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:16,361 What happens next? Anybody. Ah. 151 00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:19,615 Greta Nussbaum, before she pulls her rotator cuff. 152 00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:22,034 God spares Lot and his family. 153 00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:26,413 Bingo! Two-week cruise for Greta! You're goin' to the Bahamas! 154 00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:30,042 You know, when you think about it... 155 00:12:30,042 --> 00:12:32,252 God is a lot like Blanche Du Bois. 156 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:35,380 He's always relied on the kindness of strangers. 157 00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:38,926 And that's really what the story is about-- it's about us taking care of each other. 158 00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:41,887 God relies on us to take care of each other. 159 00:12:42,054 --> 00:12:46,683 The truth is, I don't really learn that much about your faith by asking questions like that... 160 00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:50,854 because those aren't really questions about faith, those are questions about religion. 161 00:12:50,854 --> 00:12:54,691 And it's very important to understand the difference between religion and faith. 162 00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:58,028 Because faith is not about having the right answers. 163 00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:01,323 Faith is a feeling. Faith is a hunch, really. 164 00:13:02,157 --> 00:13:05,994 It's a hunch that there is something bigger connecting it all... 165 00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:09,122 connecting us all together. 166 00:13:10,082 --> 00:13:12,751 And that feeling, that hunch, is God. 167 00:13:15,379 --> 00:13:18,632 And coming here tonight, on your Sunday evening... 168 00:13:19,174 --> 00:13:22,553 to connect with that feeling, that is an act of faith. 169 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:27,891 And so all I have to do is look around the room at this packed church... 170 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:31,937 to know that we're doing pretty well as a community. 171 00:13:34,773 --> 00:13:37,860 Even if all of you failed my pop quiz miserably. 172 00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:40,612 Let us pray. 173 00:13:43,407 --> 00:13:48,745 Jake and I used to talk about how we needed to kick the dust off our faiths, bring 'em up to speed with the times. 174 00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:50,831 No more of the old routines. 175 00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:55,043 Jake said, "We're gonna give 'em an old-world God with a new-age spin." 176 00:13:58,046 --> 00:13:59,298 Feel the prana. 177 00:13:59,298 --> 00:14:01,550 Our first big idea was to turn this abandoned gay disco... 178 00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:05,387 into a joint Catholic-Jewish senior centre-slash-karaoke lounge. 179 00:14:06,013 --> 00:14:09,308 You know, sort of a Fiddler on the Roof meets Lord of the Dance... 180 00:14:09,308 --> 00:14:11,643 meets Buena Vista Social Club. 181 00:14:12,144 --> 00:14:14,563 Not an easy idea to sell to some of the higher-ups... 182 00:14:14,563 --> 00:14:16,982 but that's what we lived for-- to push the envelope. 183 00:14:16,982 --> 00:14:20,694 You know, we were gonna bring our religions into the 21 st century any way we could. 184 00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:23,780 We were gonna shove 'em a little, if we had to. 185 00:14:24,281 --> 00:14:28,410 Jake said we were gonna be like those young cops who come on the force and shake things up. 186 00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:30,579 You know-- the God Squad. 187 00:14:39,254 --> 00:14:42,216 Well, it's just like the ocean under the moon 188 00:14:43,425 --> 00:14:46,720 Well, it's the same as the emotion that I have for you 189 00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:51,099 You got the kind of lovin' that can be so true, yeah 190 00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:54,353 So give me your heart Make it real 191 00:14:54,603 --> 00:14:56,647 Or else forget about it 192 00:14:58,774 --> 00:15:00,817 Or else forget about it 193 00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:04,905 Or else forget about it 194 00:15:04,947 --> 00:15:07,074 Come on, bring it. Nice. 195 00:15:09,159 --> 00:15:13,455 Oh. So Ben Lewis comes into my office this morning, tells me he's retiring. 196 00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:15,833 - Rabbi Lewis? - Yeah. 197 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:20,170 - Wow, that's the end of an era. - I know. 198 00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:23,215 But that's exciting. How long before they give it over to you officially? 199 00:15:23,215 --> 00:15:27,427 Well, I'm telling you, there are a few backwards thinkers on that board who just-- 200 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,638 They don't get what I do. You know? 201 00:15:29,638 --> 00:15:32,975 Plus, there's the whole thing about me being single. 202 00:15:34,393 --> 00:15:37,396 - Single? - Don't think that's not an issue. 203 00:15:37,855 --> 00:15:42,025 Wait a minute, wait a minute, are you seriously telling me that if you don't find a nice Jewish girl... 204 00:15:42,025 --> 00:15:45,028 and settle down in the next six months, they're not gonna give you this job? 205 00:15:45,028 --> 00:15:49,283 I'm seriously telling you that-- that there's not been a bachelor head rabbi of B'Nai Ezra... 206 00:15:49,283 --> 00:15:51,910 since the beginning of the synagogue. 207 00:15:52,494 --> 00:15:54,163 - Wow. I mean-- - I know. It's-- 208 00:15:54,163 --> 00:15:57,082 You'd better start getting out there more. 209 00:15:57,166 --> 00:16:02,462 - Tell me about it. It's embarrassing. - Okay, okay, but forget about that. You do want to meet somebody, right? 210 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:07,342 No, I'm just saying that I want to meet somebody in a spontaneous and casual manner, that's all. 211 00:16:07,342 --> 00:16:10,429 - And it's almost impossible with me. - Why? I don't understand that. 212 00:16:10,429 --> 00:16:13,807 - Because I'm a rabbi. - Yes. Yes. What's your point? 213 00:16:14,725 --> 00:16:17,436 The point is that every time I go out with a woman I don't know if she likes me just for me... 214 00:16:17,436 --> 00:16:19,646 or because I'm Rabbi Jake. 215 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,649 You know? There's a certain expectation. 216 00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:25,485 It's like, I can't go with my impulses. I have to-- I don't know. 217 00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:28,906 Jews want their rabbis to be the kind of Jews that they don't have the time to be. 218 00:16:28,906 --> 00:16:32,618 Yeah, and Catholics want their priests to be the kind of people they don't have the discipline to be. 219 00:16:32,618 --> 00:16:35,621 - So, we knew this getting into it. - Right. 220 00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:38,081 Oh, no, man. Check this out. 221 00:16:38,123 --> 00:16:40,834 - God Squad in the house. - What's up, Shabazz? 222 00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:43,670 Okay, so, you gonna give it up, Rabbi, or are we gonna have to go through the motions? 223 00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:47,132 Get ready to say your prayers, my friends, 'cause I am in no mood today. 224 00:16:47,132 --> 00:16:49,801 - Watch your ass, Shabazz! - Come on 225 00:16:51,595 --> 00:16:53,263 Turn me loose 226 00:16:55,766 --> 00:16:57,518 Just turn it up 227 00:16:58,060 --> 00:17:00,187 Power to the people, y'all 228 00:17:00,312 --> 00:17:02,564 - Turn it loose, hey - Oh! 229 00:17:03,815 --> 00:17:05,067 Shake hands with the 8-0-8 230 00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:07,361 Like I said before PE got a brand new funk 231 00:17:07,361 --> 00:17:09,321 - Turn it up - Bye. 232 00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:11,907 - Good game, Shabazz. - Tell your mother I said "hi." 233 00:17:11,907 --> 00:17:13,450 All right. 234 00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:17,246 Power to the people 235 00:17:20,582 --> 00:17:23,585 I gotta quit playing with those guys from Jewish Theological Seminary. 236 00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:25,754 It really lowers the bar. 237 00:17:26,797 --> 00:17:29,007 Oh, can I just say "oy"? 238 00:17:29,925 --> 00:17:31,885 Amen to your "oy." 239 00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:36,682 - What happened to our youth? - I'm telling you, it ended at 30, pal. 240 00:17:36,682 --> 00:17:39,226 Oh, hey, speaking of our youth, I forgot to tell you something. 241 00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:41,562 - What? - This is big. Guess who called me. 242 00:17:41,562 --> 00:17:43,146 - Who? - Okay. 243 00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:47,192 Think about who is the coolest woman you and I have ever known, ever. 244 00:17:49,403 --> 00:17:51,905 That's easy. Anna Reilly, eighth grade. No question. 245 00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:53,949 - You got it. - What? 246 00:17:54,616 --> 00:17:55,993 - She called you? - Yeah. 247 00:17:55,993 --> 00:17:58,370 - Anna Reilly called you? - Yeah. Totally out of the blue. 248 00:17:58,370 --> 00:18:01,165 - Why? - 'Cause she's coming to New York, uh, for work... 249 00:18:01,165 --> 00:18:02,833 and she wanted to get together with us. 250 00:18:02,833 --> 00:18:04,501 - She just looked me up. - Really? 251 00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:06,712 - Yeah. - Anna Reilly. What is she doing now? 252 00:18:06,712 --> 00:18:11,216 She-- She's, like, analyzing synergies, or synergising analogies, or, or some such thing. 253 00:18:11,216 --> 00:18:15,637 I couldn't follow it. She's, like, this very high-powered business-- You know. 254 00:18:16,346 --> 00:18:18,390 - Woman? - Woman, yes. Thank you. 255 00:18:18,390 --> 00:18:21,560 - Wow. And you told her about us? - Yeah. She flipped, in a-- in a good way. 256 00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:24,855 You know, I mean, she laughed for about ten minutes, but she was excited. 257 00:18:24,855 --> 00:18:27,399 - Man, that is so cool. - I know. 258 00:18:28,692 --> 00:18:30,986 I wonder why she called you. 259 00:18:31,695 --> 00:18:33,530 What do you mean? 260 00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:36,033 No, I mean, she called you. 261 00:18:38,035 --> 00:18:41,079 - What, are you in the eighth grade still? - What? That's a legitimate question. 262 00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:43,582 I just-- I mean, we're both listed. 263 00:18:43,582 --> 00:18:46,585 Finn before Schram, okay? You're ridiculous. 264 00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:50,380 That's a good point. Alphabetical. 265 00:19:00,349 --> 00:19:02,309 I think we should toss this. We look like idiots. 266 00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:04,645 - Shut up. We do not. - You shut up. 267 00:19:04,645 --> 00:19:09,775 - You think she's changed? - No, I bet she still weighs 88 pounds and listens to Leif Garrett. 268 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:14,655 For the record, it's Leif. Long "A." Didn't you see the Behind the Music? 269 00:19:14,655 --> 00:19:17,491 Hey, come on, admit it. You're excited. This is gonna be great. 270 00:19:17,491 --> 00:19:21,119 The three of us hanging together again? I can't believe it. 271 00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:26,166 - Is that her? - No. No. 272 00:19:29,795 --> 00:19:31,088 Wow. 273 00:19:31,922 --> 00:19:33,924 - Hail Mary. - Mary. 274 00:19:34,967 --> 00:19:37,928 - Full of... something. - Full of something'. 275 00:19:40,514 --> 00:19:42,140 Hello, boys. 276 00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:49,147 - I don't understand. - Well, basically, I'm like a plumber, except I fix leaky corporations. 277 00:19:49,147 --> 00:19:51,108 - Oh. - Jake Schram. 278 00:19:51,775 --> 00:19:53,944 - Yes. - How are you? Who are you? 279 00:19:53,944 --> 00:19:56,697 Tell me everything. Give me the 4-1 -1 . I wanna know. 280 00:19:56,697 --> 00:19:58,323 - Well-- - Job, girls, news. 281 00:19:58,323 --> 00:20:01,285 Oh, now, hey, come on, come on. I know him. I know him. Y-You start. Catch us up right now. 282 00:20:01,285 --> 00:20:04,288 - All right. Job is good. Really good. - Men. 283 00:20:04,580 --> 00:20:07,082 News: My parents are happy and retired. 284 00:20:07,082 --> 00:20:08,709 - And, uh-- - Men? - I take yoga. 285 00:20:08,709 --> 00:20:09,918 - Men. - That's my life. 286 00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:11,670 - No. - Men. - Come on. 287 00:20:11,670 --> 00:20:13,964 - Don't cheat us. G-Give it up. - I don't-- Relationships? Yada-ya-- 288 00:20:13,964 --> 00:20:17,259 I don't have time for relationships. I work, like, 100 hours a week. 289 00:20:17,259 --> 00:20:19,678 - You guys have no idea. - Hey. Hey. 290 00:20:19,678 --> 00:20:24,391 - Excuse me. I think that we work pretty hard for a tough... - Yeah, working for the-- 291 00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:26,518 - That's a... - boss. - full-time thing. 292 00:20:26,518 --> 00:20:31,648 No, I work harder than God. If He had, uh, hired me, He would have made the world by Thursday. 293 00:20:31,732 --> 00:20:34,776 Great. That's great. So you're saying that we're just never going to see you. 294 00:20:34,776 --> 00:20:37,696 - Is that-- This is the big kiss-off. - No, for you guys I will make time. 295 00:20:37,696 --> 00:20:40,199 - Wow. I feel special. - That's my bag. 296 00:20:40,199 --> 00:20:41,950 - I got it. I got it. - I got it. I got it. 297 00:20:41,950 --> 00:20:44,786 - I got it. - I got it, man. I got-- No, I got it. Let me-- Let me-- I-I can get it. 298 00:20:44,786 --> 00:20:46,455 Okay. Thanks. 299 00:20:47,539 --> 00:20:49,875 - You okay? - Yep-- No-- Go. 300 00:20:50,042 --> 00:20:52,794 Remember the names of some of those kids we went to school with? 301 00:20:52,794 --> 00:20:56,173 - Remember Aram Salaam? - Mm-hmm. His father was a diplomat, right? 302 00:20:56,173 --> 00:20:59,301 He was always saying he couldn't get a parking ticket 'cause he had diplomatic immunity. 303 00:20:59,301 --> 00:21:02,012 - Remember Elan Portnoy? - Yeah, he was always complaining. 304 00:21:02,012 --> 00:21:04,223 He was always smoking pot. 305 00:21:16,693 --> 00:21:19,154 - Hey, remember our shoplifting club? - Oh, yeah. 306 00:21:19,154 --> 00:21:23,492 - You had to steal something to be a member. - How about you with the basketball? 307 00:21:23,492 --> 00:21:26,411 Remember she stuck that basketball under her shirt, and you said you were pregnant? 308 00:21:26,411 --> 00:21:29,164 - I pulled it off. - Yeah, but you were twelve. 309 00:21:29,164 --> 00:21:33,252 Yeah, but it was New York, it was the '80s. You could get away with anything. 310 00:21:33,252 --> 00:21:35,212 - We should get home, right? - Huh? - Yeah, it's getting kinda late. 311 00:21:35,212 --> 00:21:38,590 - We should take you back. - Well, I'm still on West Coast time. It's only 8:00 my time. 312 00:21:38,590 --> 00:21:40,634 Let's go do something. 313 00:21:44,304 --> 00:21:48,016 So this is a rectory. Sounds like a dirty word-- "rectory." 314 00:21:48,517 --> 00:21:50,727 - Great place to meet chicks. - Totally. 315 00:21:50,727 --> 00:21:53,814 Oh, I'll bet. So, what's your chick situation? 316 00:21:53,814 --> 00:21:57,192 Oh, uh, don't ask. It's, it's, it's not a good story. 317 00:21:57,734 --> 00:22:00,696 - Why? - 'Cause his whole congregation's trying to set him up... 318 00:22:00,696 --> 00:22:02,614 and it makes him very uncomfortable. 319 00:22:02,614 --> 00:22:06,743 - What's wrong with that? - There's a reason that pandas don't mate in captivity. 320 00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:11,248 - What does that mean? - It means that all these mothers keep making these dates for me 321 00:22:11,248 --> 00:22:14,126 They're very intimidating. They're like the Kosher Nostra. 322 00:22:14,126 --> 00:22:18,046 - Oh. - It's true. They're little women, but they're very determined. 323 00:22:18,046 --> 00:22:20,215 You get a little melodramatic about this, don't you think? 324 00:22:20,215 --> 00:22:22,384 Oh, yeah? Check this out. 325 00:22:22,593 --> 00:22:25,470 - I was faxed one of their daughter's resumes this morning. - Get out. 326 00:22:25,470 --> 00:22:29,016 - Let me see that. "Ali Decker." - Yeah. Look at the bottom. 327 00:22:29,016 --> 00:22:31,768 - Oh. She has a skills section. - Yes? 328 00:22:31,977 --> 00:22:34,771 Oh. You win. She put jogging as a skill. 329 00:22:34,813 --> 00:22:37,941 See, she doesn't even know the difference between a hobby and a skill. 330 00:22:37,941 --> 00:22:41,069 - All right, well, maybe she's a skilled jogger. - I have to go on a date with this girl. 331 00:22:41,069 --> 00:22:43,906 - Why don't I just say no? - I don't know. Why don't you? 332 00:22:43,906 --> 00:22:47,493 Because I can't alienate these women. They-- I need body count at the temple. 333 00:22:47,493 --> 00:22:49,745 Just relax. It'll be fine. 334 00:22:51,205 --> 00:22:53,874 Oh, God, please let this be painless. 335 00:22:55,167 --> 00:22:56,793 - Hi. - Hi. 336 00:22:56,835 --> 00:22:59,588 Right on time. I like that in a rabbi. 337 00:23:01,006 --> 00:23:04,176 Oh. Hey, this is a great place. This is really-- 338 00:23:05,052 --> 00:23:07,054 - My lair. - really nice. 339 00:23:07,054 --> 00:23:09,681 - I'll be ready in a second. - A lot of space. 340 00:23:09,681 --> 00:23:12,059 I know. Thanks, Daddy. Right? 341 00:23:14,686 --> 00:23:16,313 You go, girl. 342 00:23:18,899 --> 00:23:20,651 No pain, no gain. 343 00:23:22,486 --> 00:23:25,447 Oh. Tuesdays with Morrie. I love that book. 344 00:23:35,874 --> 00:23:37,417 I'm ready. 345 00:23:39,127 --> 00:23:42,172 - Oh, do you, uh, do these tapes? - Are you kidding me? 346 00:23:42,172 --> 00:23:43,715 - No. - Are you kidding me? 347 00:23:43,715 --> 00:23:46,176 - Hmm. No. - These tapes are my life. 348 00:23:46,176 --> 00:23:49,471 Exercise is like a religion to me. No pun intended. 349 00:23:49,847 --> 00:23:52,599 - Feel my abs. Not bad, right? - Ouch. 350 00:23:54,393 --> 00:23:56,478 - Punch me. - Excuse me? 351 00:23:56,478 --> 00:23:59,648 - You heard me. - Um, I-I'm not gonna punch you. 352 00:23:59,773 --> 00:24:03,569 I think you will find, Rabbi Schram, that this princess is no pushover. 353 00:24:03,569 --> 00:24:06,989 I can tell. And, hey, come on. Call me Jake. All right? 354 00:24:07,155 --> 00:24:10,325 Okay, let's get a few things straight here, Jake. 355 00:24:10,492 --> 00:24:12,536 One: I like you a lot. 356 00:24:13,287 --> 00:24:16,874 And unless my radar is completely on the blink, I think you like me. 357 00:24:16,874 --> 00:24:20,669 - Well, I mean, we-- we just met, but-- - Two: I am many things. 358 00:24:20,669 --> 00:24:24,131 No one thing defines me. Are we clear about that, Jake? 359 00:24:24,965 --> 00:24:27,342 - Yes. - Then let me have it. 360 00:24:27,926 --> 00:24:29,761 - I'm not gonna punch you. - Punch me! 361 00:24:29,761 --> 00:24:32,514 - You're a girl. I'm not gonna punch you. - Hit me. I can take it. 362 00:24:32,514 --> 00:24:34,391 - I'm not scared. - I'm sure-- I know you're not. I just-- You're a girl, and-- 363 00:24:34,391 --> 00:24:36,560 - What, are you some kind of wuss? - No, I'm not a wuss-- 364 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:40,522 - But I'm not gonna punch a-- Oh. All right. - Little wuss, little wuss, 365 00:24:40,522 --> 00:24:42,357 Oh. Are you okay? 366 00:24:43,108 --> 00:24:46,111 - I'm fine. - You sure? - J-Just get my bag. 367 00:24:46,111 --> 00:24:49,281 - Okay. Uh, you said you could take it-- - Fine! 368 00:24:50,741 --> 00:24:52,910 That's wonderful. Th-That headband's so cool. 369 00:24:52,910 --> 00:24:54,703 - Oh, I'm so glad you noticed. - Yeah. What is that? 370 00:24:54,703 --> 00:24:57,581 - It was-- It was beaded by the mentally retarded. - Oh, really? 371 00:24:57,581 --> 00:24:59,333 - Yes. - Really? 'Cause it looks really good, though. 372 00:24:59,333 --> 00:25:01,335 - Oh, n-- Well, they're heavily supervised. - Uh-huh. 373 00:25:01,335 --> 00:25:03,545 - Th-They-- - Yeah, but it really-- i-it seems to-- 374 00:25:03,545 --> 00:25:05,797 - I mean-- - It goes together well, don't you feel? 375 00:25:05,797 --> 00:25:07,466 - Oh. - My God. Get a-- - Oh, no, no. That's-- 376 00:25:07,466 --> 00:25:08,926 - Get away from the table. - Whoa, no, no, no. 377 00:25:08,926 --> 00:25:11,220 - Get out of here. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's okay. Hey. 378 00:25:11,220 --> 00:25:13,472 Hey, here, here, here. D-Don't-- Don't-- Here. 379 00:25:13,472 --> 00:25:15,682 - Thank you. Thank you. Have a nice day. - You're flushing it down the toilet. 380 00:25:15,682 --> 00:25:19,728 - Thank you. Don't-- You don't wanna-- - He's gonna spend it on booze. 381 00:25:25,526 --> 00:25:28,904 Well, I had a great time. Thank you. It was wonderful. 382 00:25:32,616 --> 00:25:34,368 Uh, good night. 383 00:25:36,036 --> 00:25:39,665 - Don't you want to come up, tuck me in? - I-I-I shouldn't. 384 00:25:40,958 --> 00:25:42,835 Believe me, you should. 385 00:25:42,835 --> 00:25:46,296 No, I can't. I-I-- You're a congregant, and-- You know? 386 00:25:48,090 --> 00:25:50,926 I'm telling you, you can. I want you to. 387 00:25:52,845 --> 00:25:54,972 I-- I-- I would love to. 388 00:25:55,305 --> 00:25:58,809 I just-- I-I have a-- I got a-- I have a friend at home. 389 00:25:58,851 --> 00:26:01,478 - A friend? - A male friend. A guy. 390 00:26:03,063 --> 00:26:04,940 A dog. A male dog. 391 00:26:06,483 --> 00:26:09,444 - A beautiful puppy named Pinchas. - Pooch can wait. 392 00:26:09,444 --> 00:26:12,656 - No, no, no, he's a Rottweiler. - Just come up for a minute or two or three. 393 00:26:12,656 --> 00:26:17,244 No, no, no, no! No! Don't! Don't. No, listen to me. This dog is a codependent little puppy. 394 00:26:17,244 --> 00:26:20,998 He needs my help, or else he'll go to the bathroom over everything. He does it. 395 00:26:20,998 --> 00:26:23,167 Well, send me the cleaning bill. Get outta here. 396 00:26:23,167 --> 00:26:27,296 - No, no, no. Don't get out. No, stay. I-- I would-- It's not gonna-- - You are making me crazy, Rabbi. 397 00:26:27,296 --> 00:26:29,965 - You're making me so-- No. No. - Just come on. Just come up for me. 398 00:26:29,965 --> 00:26:32,467 - Come on! For a minute! - I can't! 399 00:26:32,467 --> 00:26:35,345 - Just come on! - Aah! Are you okay? Good! 400 00:26:36,388 --> 00:26:38,557 - Oh, wow. - Go! Go! Go! 401 00:26:38,682 --> 00:26:42,477 - Hey! Hey! - Thanks! I had a wonderful time! See you in shul! 402 00:27:23,977 --> 00:27:27,564 You're not playing games with me, are you, Phil? You sure? 403 00:27:27,773 --> 00:27:30,859 Okay, 'cause you know better than that, right? 404 00:27:31,068 --> 00:27:35,239 Okay. Well, if those results are correct, then I, uh, say we have a deal. 405 00:27:36,365 --> 00:27:39,910 Of course, I'll expect it in writing by the end of the day. 406 00:27:40,410 --> 00:27:43,789 Yes, by the end of the day, Phil. What, did I stutter? 407 00:27:45,082 --> 00:27:48,377 All right, Phil, you know what? I don't have time for this, okay? 408 00:27:48,377 --> 00:27:51,004 Gotta go, Phil. Gotta go, gotta go. 409 00:27:52,714 --> 00:27:54,132 No way. 410 00:27:57,219 --> 00:27:58,971 Oh, yeah, baby. 411 00:28:17,364 --> 00:28:20,909 Okay, okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Take a break. Take a break. 412 00:28:20,909 --> 00:28:23,495 I suck. They're gonna take away my yarmulke. 413 00:28:23,495 --> 00:28:26,540 - No, no, no, you-- you don't suck. - I suck. 414 00:28:27,583 --> 00:28:29,877 Okay. Yes, you do. You suck. 415 00:28:31,253 --> 00:28:36,508 But that's okay. You're supposed to suck. This isn't a talent contest, this is a rite of passage. 416 00:28:36,717 --> 00:28:40,470 I mean, this happens in all cultures. It's about you being 13 years old. 417 00:28:40,470 --> 00:28:42,681 God knew that your voice was gonna change when you were 13. 418 00:28:42,681 --> 00:28:47,060 There's a reason why you gotta do your haftorah at this age. It's a challenge. 419 00:28:47,060 --> 00:28:50,981 God is challenging you. He's calling you a chump. So you gotta come back at him. 420 00:28:50,981 --> 00:28:56,236 So you gotta say, "Hey, hashem, you think You can scare me with a little, uh, biblical Hebrew... 421 00:28:56,528 --> 00:28:58,405 just 'cause my balls haven't dropped yet?'' 422 00:28:58,405 --> 00:29:01,825 I'm serious. I'm serious. You gotta show Him what Alan Klein's made of. 423 00:29:01,825 --> 00:29:04,286 - How? - By sucking with style. 424 00:29:04,620 --> 00:29:08,123 Embrace the suckiness. Just say, "I love that I suck." 425 00:29:08,874 --> 00:29:11,835 - I love that I suck. - Good, but own it. Say it. 426 00:29:11,835 --> 00:29:14,796 - I love that I suck. - I love that I suck! 427 00:29:14,838 --> 00:29:17,090 - I love that I suck. - I love that I suck. Good. Good. 428 00:29:17,090 --> 00:29:19,426 - You play. I love that I suck. - I love that I suck. 429 00:29:19,426 --> 00:29:21,762 - Keep going with that. - I love that I suck. 430 00:29:21,762 --> 00:29:24,306 - Okay, good. I'll see you next week. Hello? - I love that I suck. I love that I suck. 431 00:29:24,306 --> 00:29:26,683 - Hello? - I love that I suck. I love that I suck. - You suck. You can do it. 432 00:29:26,683 --> 00:29:30,312 - Hey, Anna? - I thought I got the Tony Robbins hot line there by mistake. 433 00:29:30,312 --> 00:29:32,564 Sorry. I just was, uh, finishing up. How you doin'? 434 00:29:32,564 --> 00:29:35,108 - I called to see how the big date went. - That's so funny. 435 00:29:35,108 --> 00:29:38,987 I had an impulse to call you last night, and then I didn't 'cause I thought it'd be too late. 436 00:29:38,987 --> 00:29:41,740 You should have. I was stuck here barking at Los Angeles. 437 00:29:41,740 --> 00:29:44,034 - Really. - So, how'd it go? 438 00:29:45,953 --> 00:29:49,873 Um, mostly horrible, with a few brief moments of excruciating agony. 439 00:29:50,499 --> 00:29:54,044 - But at least it was long. - lam so sorry. What a waste. 440 00:29:54,127 --> 00:29:58,674 People should have to qualify to go out with you. You're too precious to be on the open market. 441 00:29:58,674 --> 00:30:01,677 - That's what I try to tell them. - See? They should listen to you. 442 00:30:01,677 --> 00:30:04,638 You're the best. You know that? If only you were Jewish. 443 00:30:04,638 --> 00:30:06,932 Yeah, well, nobody's perfect. 444 00:30:08,392 --> 00:30:10,352 So, what'd you wear? 445 00:30:10,644 --> 00:30:11,979 What? 446 00:30:12,855 --> 00:30:15,607 I'm not gonna tell you what I wore on my date. Why should I do that? 447 00:30:15,607 --> 00:30:19,820 I wanna get an image of a young rabbi on the prowl. What's your game, man? 448 00:30:20,070 --> 00:30:22,865 All right. Navy blue button-down shirt. 449 00:30:23,532 --> 00:30:25,576 Mmm. It's a good colour for your eyes. 450 00:30:25,576 --> 00:30:28,162 - Navy blue pinstripe suit. - I can picture that. 451 00:30:28,162 --> 00:30:30,664 Tasteful, yet with a quiet power. 452 00:30:31,456 --> 00:30:33,750 That's me. Chic but with a quiet power. 453 00:30:33,750 --> 00:30:35,127 Shoes? 454 00:30:35,961 --> 00:30:38,297 Black, Kenneth Cole, leather. 455 00:30:39,381 --> 00:30:40,716 Size? 456 00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:43,468 - Big. - Ow! 457 00:30:44,553 --> 00:30:46,722 Wanna hear about the special knot in my tie? 458 00:30:46,722 --> 00:30:49,766 Oh, baby, no. We gotta save room for dessert. 459 00:30:51,768 --> 00:30:54,605 - Don't give up hope. Okay? - I'll keep it alive. 460 00:30:54,605 --> 00:30:57,274 That's right. Goodbye, Mr Sharp-Dressed Man. 461 00:30:57,274 --> 00:30:58,734 Bye-bye. 462 00:31:12,039 --> 00:31:13,540 Ah, nice. 463 00:31:25,844 --> 00:31:29,223 I have a friend here I thought you might want to see. 464 00:31:31,391 --> 00:31:35,020 Will you now please turn to page 508 for "Ein Keloheinu"? 465 00:31:36,647 --> 00:31:39,316 I'm sorry, Raphae. Just hang on one second here. 466 00:31:39,316 --> 00:31:42,194 Guys, I gotta just say this before we do this again... 467 00:31:42,194 --> 00:31:44,780 because it's really been bothering me. 468 00:31:44,780 --> 00:31:47,574 "Ein Keloheinu. " It's a joyous song. 469 00:31:48,659 --> 00:31:51,495 It's a prayer about praising the Lord... 470 00:31:51,829 --> 00:31:54,915 telling the Lord how much we love Him, or Her. 471 00:31:55,666 --> 00:31:59,837 But no matter what I do, I can't seem to be able to get you folks to sing it with any feeling. 472 00:31:59,837 --> 00:32:03,006 I mean, I brought in the band. That didn't work. 473 00:32:04,633 --> 00:32:06,927 I brought in my bongos last week. 474 00:32:06,927 --> 00:32:10,222 I think we can all agree that was a backwards step. 475 00:32:11,890 --> 00:32:15,686 So this morning I've decided to bring in a little outside help. 476 00:32:16,353 --> 00:32:18,272 Maury, if you would. 477 00:32:30,242 --> 00:32:33,912 You can even sing along! Come on! Have a little fun with it! 478 00:32:39,710 --> 00:32:43,630 That's right! Get up! Get those butts out of those chairs! Come on! 479 00:32:46,592 --> 00:32:48,635 Up in the cheap seats! 480 00:32:49,386 --> 00:32:52,514 I can't hear you up there! Sing it out! Come on! 481 00:32:54,391 --> 00:32:55,851 Over 70! 482 00:32:57,311 --> 00:32:59,563 Come on! All the young Jews! 483 00:33:08,989 --> 00:33:11,867 Hey! Congratulations! You were wonderful! 484 00:33:12,034 --> 00:33:14,119 - Great job! - Rabbi! Rabbi! 485 00:33:14,119 --> 00:33:16,872 This is my daughter. Isn't she lovely? 486 00:33:28,175 --> 00:33:30,219 This is astonishing. This is a shul. 487 00:33:30,219 --> 00:33:33,931 This is a house of worship. Do you know what my grandfather would do if he saw this? 488 00:33:33,931 --> 00:33:37,601 This is my daughter Ruthie. She's in college. She's going to be a physiotherapist. 489 00:33:37,601 --> 00:33:39,728 What a shaineh maidel you are. Look at this. 490 00:33:39,728 --> 00:33:42,314 Oh, Rabbi, you're so wonderful. You know my daughter Hillary. 491 00:33:42,314 --> 00:33:44,608 Mom, don't embarrass me. Hi. 492 00:33:52,991 --> 00:33:56,787 Jake, Bonnie Rose. I don't think you've met my daughter Rachel. 493 00:33:56,954 --> 00:33:58,956 - Hi, Jake. - Oh! Hi. 494 00:33:59,581 --> 00:34:01,750 This is exciting. We don't get a lot of celebrities in here. 495 00:34:01,750 --> 00:34:06,755 One time, once, when I was really young, we had, uh-- Bella Abzug showed up for a bris, but that was-- 496 00:34:06,755 --> 00:34:10,008 Well, I've heard so much about you, I had to come and see for myself. 497 00:34:10,008 --> 00:34:12,177 - The service was wonderful. - Oh-- 498 00:34:12,177 --> 00:34:14,721 You were really, really wonderful. 499 00:34:15,013 --> 00:34:16,807 Well, we're all certainly aware of your successes. 500 00:34:16,807 --> 00:34:19,226 You know, she just moved to network prime time. 501 00:34:19,226 --> 00:34:21,353 Ooh, look at that. We got in a live feed. 502 00:34:21,353 --> 00:34:24,565 - Well, my mom does all my PR. - I know what you mean. Mine too. 503 00:34:24,565 --> 00:34:26,817 No, I mean really. My mother's firm does all my PR. 504 00:34:26,817 --> 00:34:28,986 - Jake, I'm at PMK. - Oh. 505 00:34:29,027 --> 00:34:31,822 - We got her special correspondent. - Great. 506 00:34:31,822 --> 00:34:34,408 You know, she just got back from interviewing Arafat. 507 00:34:34,408 --> 00:34:36,493 - Yassir? - In Arabic. 508 00:34:36,493 --> 00:34:39,663 - That's great. I didn't know that. - Jake, what you don't know is a lot. 509 00:34:39,663 --> 00:34:41,957 You two should get together. 510 00:34:42,416 --> 00:34:44,877 - Sure. - I'm free on Thursday. 511 00:34:45,169 --> 00:34:47,838 Thursday. That's-- That's fine-- That's great. 512 00:34:47,838 --> 00:34:50,924 - Okay. - Okay, great. Well, nice to see you, Bonnie. 513 00:34:50,924 --> 00:34:52,759 Rabbi. Wonderful. 514 00:34:54,845 --> 00:34:58,849 - This is Hillary-- - Oh! This is-- This is the man you were telling-- Right. Yes, sir. 515 00:34:58,849 --> 00:35:02,644 Well, I appreciate what you did for us in the war, I really do. 516 00:35:04,396 --> 00:35:08,317 - How upset are they? - Let's just say they're less than thrilled. 517 00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:12,571 - To be honest, we're less than thrilled. - Okay, with what, specifically? 518 00:35:12,613 --> 00:35:14,740 With what, specifically? 519 00:35:14,823 --> 00:35:17,242 Well, with guided meditation, specifically. 520 00:35:17,242 --> 00:35:19,912 With stand-up comedy sermons, specifically. 521 00:35:19,912 --> 00:35:23,290 With your loose, improvisational style, specifically. 522 00:35:23,540 --> 00:35:27,961 Okay, with people actually enjoying services? People-- People showing up at all? 523 00:35:27,961 --> 00:35:30,797 To be serenaded by the Harlem-freaking-Gospel Choir? 524 00:35:30,797 --> 00:35:34,384 - At least they were praying. - It was a hell of an "Ein Keloheinu, " Lar. 525 00:35:34,384 --> 00:35:36,970 - It's not kosher, Rabbi Lewis! - Larry, what does that mean? 526 00:35:36,970 --> 00:35:39,765 I have to tell you what kosher means? Study your gemara! 527 00:35:39,765 --> 00:35:42,518 I mean, is this you too? Do you feel the same way? 528 00:35:42,518 --> 00:35:45,604 It's not your ideas. Your ideas are very good. 529 00:35:46,438 --> 00:35:49,107 But sometimes you're a little aggressive in the execution. 530 00:35:49,107 --> 00:35:52,277 Yeah, but, Ben, come on! I mean, I mean, it was working! 531 00:35:52,277 --> 00:35:54,363 I know, I know, I know, I know. 532 00:35:54,363 --> 00:35:58,033 - You like to shake things up, and that's good. - When it works, yeah. 533 00:35:58,033 --> 00:36:03,080 But you have to appreciate the fact that a lot of people come here for a sense of continuity. 534 00:36:03,831 --> 00:36:07,251 It's not just the board. I-It's your congregation, Jake. 535 00:36:08,168 --> 00:36:12,339 Mrs-- Mrs Katz likes to sing the "Ein Keloheinu" the way she knows it. 536 00:36:12,673 --> 00:36:15,259 - Tradition is not old habit. - All right, I'm-- I'm-- 537 00:36:15,259 --> 00:36:19,680 - No. It's comforting to people. - Okay, but I'm not interested i-in baby-sitting Mrs Katz. 538 00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:22,432 I-I wanna-- I wanna push people to grow and expand. 539 00:36:22,432 --> 00:36:25,435 - Otherwise, what are we doing? - I know, I know, I know. 540 00:36:25,435 --> 00:36:27,729 But you have to be patient with them. 541 00:36:27,729 --> 00:36:30,566 I think you'll get a-- you'll find that people will go a lot farther... 542 00:36:30,566 --> 00:36:33,944 if you-- if they feel they're being led and not pushed. 543 00:36:37,322 --> 00:36:40,242 Good for you, Anna. Oh, I'm so proud of you. 544 00:36:40,409 --> 00:36:42,870 No more of this "woman behind the man" shit. 545 00:36:42,870 --> 00:36:46,456 Half the men I know are completely unworthy of the opportunities they've had. 546 00:36:46,456 --> 00:36:49,251 You know, as a woman on your own, trying to make your mark... 547 00:36:49,251 --> 00:36:52,796 what do you do with that victory energy at the end of the day, you know? 548 00:36:52,796 --> 00:36:56,967 - I mean, don't you want someone to share it with? - Well, do what they do. Take lovers. 549 00:36:56,967 --> 00:36:59,636 - I've had more dates than Jake. - Mom. 550 00:36:59,636 --> 00:37:01,138 It's true. 551 00:37:01,138 --> 00:37:05,017 And when lovers bore, which they will, sublimate. I take classes. 552 00:37:06,435 --> 00:37:09,479 Me too. I'm addicted to it. What's your favourite? 553 00:37:09,479 --> 00:37:11,398 - Kabbalah. You? - Kickboxing. 554 00:37:11,398 --> 00:37:15,444 Oh, I used to take kickboxing, but I don't know, I found it too high-impact. 555 00:37:15,444 --> 00:37:18,822 So I take Tae-Bo now. It's doubled my energy. You really ought to try it. 556 00:37:18,822 --> 00:37:21,533 - Yeah. I need that high impact though. - Yeah, I know what you mean. 557 00:37:21,533 --> 00:37:24,912 - I take Native American drumming. - You take Tae-Bo? 558 00:37:26,413 --> 00:37:29,041 Oh, look at those pomegranates, huh? 559 00:37:29,249 --> 00:37:30,501 Oh. 560 00:37:33,253 --> 00:37:36,340 Oh, Our Lady's Bedstraw. The most poetic herb. 561 00:37:38,383 --> 00:37:41,803 All right, now over to you. Anybody new in your life I should know about? 562 00:37:41,803 --> 00:37:44,681 Wow, 20 minutes. I can't believe we made it this far. 563 00:37:44,681 --> 00:37:48,227 It's my God-given right to check. Now, what about that Shapiro girl? 564 00:37:48,227 --> 00:37:51,396 - Oh, no, not the Shapiro girl again, please. - Why? She was a looker. 565 00:37:51,396 --> 00:37:54,566 - That wasn't the problem. The problem was here. - What, bad skin? 566 00:37:54,566 --> 00:37:56,693 - No, not bad skin. - What? 567 00:37:56,693 --> 00:38:01,281 Okay, all right, you want an example? I take her out to dinner, I order dessert, she says she doesn't want any. 568 00:38:01,281 --> 00:38:03,700 So I get pecan pie. She asks me for a bite. 569 00:38:03,700 --> 00:38:06,119 I give her a bite. Her face swells up like a chipmunk. 570 00:38:06,119 --> 00:38:09,498 She looks at me and she goes, "Oh, my God, are there nuts in this?" 571 00:38:09,498 --> 00:38:12,125 - So what? - Mom, it was pecan pie. 572 00:38:12,334 --> 00:38:15,254 - Oh, there must be somebody for you. Come on. - Oh, no, I don't even want 573 00:38:15,254 --> 00:38:17,464 - Oh, come on. Tell her. - I don't want to talk about it. 574 00:38:17,464 --> 00:38:20,592 - He's got a very hot prospect. - Oh? Who? Who? 575 00:38:20,759 --> 00:38:24,513 Rachel Rose! Okay? Rachel Rose. That's who I'm going out with. 576 00:38:24,721 --> 00:38:27,641 - ABC Rachel Rose? - Yes, ABC Rachel Rose. 577 00:38:28,433 --> 00:38:33,730 Well, I think I could be in-laws with ABC Rachel Rose. Hmm? Peter Jennings would be at the wedding! 578 00:38:34,314 --> 00:38:39,403 Hey, hey, speaking of in-laws, Ethan and Jackie took me to see her mom's new play, and it was hilarious. 579 00:38:39,403 --> 00:38:41,572 - How is Ethan? - He's great. He just got a promotion. 580 00:38:41,572 --> 00:38:43,782 He's a vice president now. 581 00:38:44,992 --> 00:38:47,786 - They gave him Dad's old office. - Oh. 582 00:38:48,203 --> 00:38:50,914 How nice. I gotta hear this from you. 583 00:38:51,123 --> 00:38:55,127 - Hey, maybe if you called and congratulated him-- - I don't want to talk about it. 584 00:38:55,127 --> 00:38:59,006 - Mom, he would be so happy to hear from you. Just-- - Please, Jake, please. 585 00:38:59,006 --> 00:39:02,259 Don't spoil this, huh? I got you. I'm proud of you. 586 00:39:02,509 --> 00:39:06,722 I got this beautiful garden. I've reconnected with this great old friend. 587 00:39:06,847 --> 00:39:10,017 Let's just hold hands and breathe, hmm? Together. 588 00:39:14,188 --> 00:39:16,356 - You're not breathing, Jake. - I'm breathing. 589 00:39:16,356 --> 00:39:20,360 - I don't hear you breathing. - I don't breathe audibly, but I breathe. 590 00:39:27,951 --> 00:39:29,828 - Mm-hmm? - Whoo. 591 00:39:56,688 --> 00:39:59,191 All right, you know what? I gotta go. I gotta go. I gotta go. 592 00:39:59,191 --> 00:40:02,194 - I've gotta go. Yes, I've gotta go. - I gotta go. Really gotta go. - All right, all right. Hi. 593 00:40:02,194 --> 00:40:07,157 - Why don't you just have that thing implanted in your ear? - Oh, I'll be top on the list. 594 00:40:07,950 --> 00:40:10,702 - Beep-beep! - Oh-- Oh. - Hello, young sir! 595 00:40:10,702 --> 00:40:14,331 - Hello, Radioman. - I feel like I'm in The Godfather. Look at you. 596 00:40:14,331 --> 00:40:19,044 Yeah, well, you know, I'm God's consigliere. You gotta go through me to get to Him, so I'm very popular. 597 00:40:19,044 --> 00:40:21,171 Oh, whoa. Children. Hey. 598 00:40:40,065 --> 00:40:42,943 I totally forget how amazing New York is. 599 00:40:44,027 --> 00:40:47,781 I know. You know, I think whoever said it, it was really true. 600 00:40:48,073 --> 00:40:53,328 The true New Yorkers understand that people living anywhere else must be, in some sense, kidding. 601 00:41:01,587 --> 00:41:05,048 - Can I ask you a question? - Yeah, obviously. Anything. 602 00:41:05,632 --> 00:41:07,551 It's personal, so-- 603 00:41:08,510 --> 00:41:11,930 - Okay, wait a second. Are we gonna have the sex talk here? Is that what this is gonna be? 604 00:41:11,930 --> 00:41:14,766 You're my friend, and I wanna know how this works for you. 605 00:41:14,766 --> 00:41:16,894 - It's fine. Fire away. - Really? - "Really?" 606 00:41:16,894 --> 00:41:19,104 - No-- Okay. Okay. - Yeah, no, come on. Come on. I know you got a list. 607 00:41:19,104 --> 00:41:20,898 - Okay. - Okay. 608 00:41:21,607 --> 00:41:24,359 - Well, you don't, right? - No. Right. 609 00:41:25,277 --> 00:41:27,237 - At all. - At all. 610 00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:30,157 So, have you ever? 611 00:41:31,825 --> 00:41:34,203 - Yes! - Had sex? - Yes. 612 00:41:34,203 --> 00:41:37,122 - With women. - Yes. - So you're not gay? 613 00:41:37,122 --> 00:41:39,458 - Oh, no. No. - Are you sure? 614 00:41:39,458 --> 00:41:42,377 Yes, but even if I was, the rules are the same. 615 00:41:42,377 --> 00:41:44,213 - Okay. - Right. 616 00:41:44,755 --> 00:41:48,050 - Do you miss it? - No. - Are you tempted? 617 00:41:48,383 --> 00:41:51,637 - Oh, admit it. If they changed the rules, you'd be psyched. - I don't even think about it. 618 00:41:51,637 --> 00:41:54,348 - Do you fantasize? - I have dreams sometimes, but not really. 619 00:41:54,348 --> 00:41:57,809 - How is that possible? - What, specifically? - I've seen the way women look at you. 620 00:41:57,809 --> 00:42:01,480 - Even though they know you're a priest. Especially when they know, actually. - I'm not blind, okay? 621 00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:05,359 - Okay, so how do you deal with that? - It's not an issue for me. 622 00:42:07,069 --> 00:42:10,864 - It's really not. It's not-- - Really? - Yeah, I'm past that point. It's-- 623 00:42:10,864 --> 00:42:14,117 I'm completely committed to what I do. I really am. 624 00:42:14,117 --> 00:42:18,121 To my work, to ministering to people. It defines me completely as a person. 625 00:42:18,121 --> 00:42:21,667 - A-And it fulfills me. You know? I'm very happy. - Hmm. 626 00:42:21,834 --> 00:42:26,505 And, and that, that particular sacrifice is-- It's a gesture. It's a symbol of my commitment. 627 00:42:26,505 --> 00:42:29,508 - That's quite a gesture. - Yeah, I know it seems that way. 628 00:42:29,508 --> 00:42:33,512 But, you know, I-- It's like when people quit smoking, and, and the first year is really tough... 629 00:42:33,512 --> 00:42:36,640 and then people can light up right in front of you and it doesn't even bother you. 630 00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:39,601 I quit smoking two years ago. When people smoke in front of me, I want to French-kiss them... 631 00:42:39,601 --> 00:42:42,312 just to suck the smoke out of their lungs, okay? 632 00:42:42,312 --> 00:42:45,023 - Well, don't be a priest. - I-- God! 633 00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:47,901 I really admire your commitment. 634 00:42:48,443 --> 00:42:50,654 - Well-- - I don't think I could take it. 635 00:42:50,654 --> 00:42:52,948 You've given up all kinds of things for what you do. You-- 636 00:42:52,948 --> 00:42:56,493 Yeah, but there comes a point where I just crave contact. 637 00:42:57,911 --> 00:43:01,373 You know? Like, I-I wanna touch someone and be touched. 638 00:43:04,543 --> 00:43:06,461 Oh, you're amazing. 639 00:43:07,963 --> 00:43:10,257 - Thanks. - You're welcome. 640 00:43:13,343 --> 00:43:15,929 - Thus endeth the sex conversation? - Thus endeth. 641 00:43:15,929 --> 00:43:17,264 Okay. 642 00:43:19,349 --> 00:43:22,769 I bet no one ever asks the Dalai Lama these questions. 643 00:43:29,193 --> 00:43:32,029 You know what? Len, don't argue with me. 644 00:43:32,404 --> 00:43:35,491 Look, I have it right here in front of me, and it's not right. 645 00:43:35,491 --> 00:43:38,160 I'll be back in the office in an hour. Run it again. 646 00:43:38,160 --> 00:43:40,579 God, I hate these Harvard guys. 647 00:43:41,413 --> 00:43:43,248 Mmm! Rachel Rose. 648 00:43:44,249 --> 00:43:46,335 - Mmm. - Yeah. When's that going down? 649 00:43:46,335 --> 00:43:48,921 - Thursday. - Thursday night, 8:00 p.m., dinner. 650 00:43:48,921 --> 00:43:52,424 - Are you excited? - Yeah. I have a pretty good feeling. 651 00:43:52,966 --> 00:43:56,929 - Where are you taking her? - I don't know. I thought, uh, Ernie's. 652 00:43:57,137 --> 00:44:00,557 Ernie's? You can't take her to Ernie's. Ernie's has been around since we were kids. 653 00:44:00,557 --> 00:44:04,436 You might as well take her to Houlihan's. You cannot take Rachel Rose to Ernie's. 654 00:44:04,436 --> 00:44:08,816 - Definitely not Ernie's. Definitely not. Mm-mmm. Uh-oh. - No, you gotta take her 655 00:44:08,816 --> 00:44:11,985 - No, hot. Definitely hot. - Well, what's-- Okay, what's new and hot? 656 00:44:11,985 --> 00:44:15,739 - What do we know about this girl? - Rachel Rose, 29 years old, Columbia School of Journalism. 657 00:44:15,739 --> 00:44:18,992 - Middle East affairs expert. - Perfect. Middle Eastern. 658 00:44:18,992 --> 00:44:22,412 She can order in Arabic. Give her a chance to shine. What's a good place? 659 00:44:22,412 --> 00:44:25,874 Delphini's. Definitely Delphini's. Four stars, New York Times. Definitely Delphini's. 660 00:44:25,874 --> 00:44:28,752 - Need a reservation. Delphini's. - Now, are you gonna wear a suit, or are you gonna go cas'? 661 00:44:28,752 --> 00:44:31,630 I don't know. I don't know. I hadn't thought about it. I guess cas'. 662 00:44:31,630 --> 00:44:33,549 - No, suit. - No, suit. Definitely suit. Definitely-- 663 00:44:33,549 --> 00:44:36,677 Hey, shut up, Rain Man. Seriously. Enough, all right? 664 00:44:36,677 --> 00:44:39,763 - Now you're making me think about this. - Oh, relax. You'll do great. 665 00:44:39,763 --> 00:44:42,307 Hey, what if you guys came with me? 666 00:44:42,349 --> 00:44:46,311 What, you wanna bring a priest to your first good date in two years? That-- What kind of a strategy is that? 667 00:44:46,311 --> 00:44:49,773 I don't want to bring a priest. I wanna bring my friend Brian and his girlfriend Anna. 668 00:44:49,773 --> 00:44:52,359 We could m-make it like a double date. Come on. 669 00:44:52,359 --> 00:44:55,654 Pretend you're a couple. What's wrong with that? What, are you busy? Huh? 670 00:44:55,654 --> 00:44:58,115 - You can bring your cell phone. You'll be totally connected the whole time. - I'm always busy. 671 00:44:58,115 --> 00:45:00,325 - That's not the point. - What's the point, then? 672 00:45:00,325 --> 00:45:03,203 - The point is, you're old enough to date without a chaperone. - Amen. 673 00:45:03,203 --> 00:45:07,291 I don't need a chaperone, I just need some help. Come on. Guys, please? 674 00:45:07,291 --> 00:45:09,084 I'm begging you. 675 00:45:12,379 --> 00:45:16,341 Yeah, that's the way the business is going. People want their news to have more of an edge. 676 00:45:16,341 --> 00:45:19,094 - That's why Brokaw stands now. - What? 677 00:45:19,094 --> 00:45:22,014 Tom Brokaw. He stands up when he reads the news. 678 00:45:22,014 --> 00:45:24,141 - The whole time? - Yeah. 679 00:45:24,141 --> 00:45:27,519 - He does? - Well, he's been doing it for about a year now. 680 00:45:27,519 --> 00:45:29,646 - Really? - Mm-hmm. - I gotta watch the news more. 681 00:45:29,646 --> 00:45:33,066 You know, I saw your saringas report. It was very powerful. 682 00:45:33,066 --> 00:45:35,486 Thanks. I really earned my stripes with that piece. 683 00:45:35,486 --> 00:45:39,281 Mmm. I earned my stripes by getting through a bris without fainting. 684 00:45:39,281 --> 00:45:42,826 - I talked Mc Donald's out of the Mc Oyster. - And a grateful nation thanks you. 685 00:45:42,826 --> 00:45:46,538 - Made me a star. - So, how long have you two been together? 686 00:45:48,332 --> 00:45:51,210 - Oh, right, uh-- - Oh, God, like-- Oh, we go way back. 687 00:45:51,210 --> 00:45:54,213 We've all known each other since we were kids, 'cause we grew up together. 688 00:45:54,213 --> 00:45:56,507 - I used to have a crush on Anna. - Really? 689 00:45:56,507 --> 00:45:58,634 - I told you that. - Did not! - She knew that. 690 00:45:58,634 --> 00:46:00,594 - No, you didn't. - Mm-hmm. - No, you didn't. 691 00:46:00,594 --> 00:46:03,263 - I-- - Well, anyway, we reconnected. 692 00:46:03,263 --> 00:46:07,976 A couple months ago, this was, and, and we just clicked. Uh, very unexpectedly, but-- 693 00:46:08,310 --> 00:46:11,271 Oh, G-- I think it's so great to be friends first. Don't you? 694 00:46:11,271 --> 00:46:13,357 Always. Friends first. 695 00:46:15,651 --> 00:46:18,695 So, do you write your own reports, or how does that work? 696 00:46:18,695 --> 00:46:20,197 - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. - Oh, yeah. 697 00:46:20,197 --> 00:46:22,282 - Well, I wouldn't trust anybody else to get 'em right, you know. - Right, right. 698 00:46:22,282 --> 00:46:25,619 - I mean, you write your own sermons, right? - Mmm. 699 00:46:25,661 --> 00:46:28,455 Actually, I download them off the net. There's this great service. 700 00:46:28,455 --> 00:46:31,250 - It's called www.hotgod.com. - Really? 701 00:46:33,418 --> 00:46:35,045 Ow! Ooh. No. 702 00:46:36,213 --> 00:46:40,175 - No, I was kidding. - Oh. So you-- you do write your own sermons. 703 00:46:40,342 --> 00:46:42,427 - Yeah. Yeah. - He writes beautiful sermons. 704 00:46:42,427 --> 00:46:47,975 Thanks. Actually, I like to improvise a lot. You know, keeps everybody-- myself included-- on their toes. 705 00:46:47,975 --> 00:46:52,020 I-I-I guess you really can't do that too much with your job, with the news. 706 00:46:52,020 --> 00:46:53,814 - What? - Riff. 707 00:46:54,690 --> 00:46:56,817 Oh, mmm, no, not really. 708 00:47:05,909 --> 00:47:09,163 You know, I'll bet the Middle East is lovely this time of year, huh? 709 00:47:09,163 --> 00:47:11,415 Well, not if you're Kurdish. 710 00:47:11,874 --> 00:47:13,167 Mmm. 711 00:47:14,042 --> 00:47:15,586 Excuse me. 712 00:47:17,713 --> 00:47:21,466 Oh, my God. The Iraqi defence minister just committed suicide. 713 00:47:22,384 --> 00:47:25,053 - Oh. - Ooh. - Is that bad or good? 714 00:47:25,095 --> 00:47:28,140 Well, i-- Brian, would you explain it to him? 715 00:47:30,434 --> 00:47:31,852 I will. 716 00:47:33,979 --> 00:47:36,899 - How do you think it's going? - She's really beautiful. 717 00:47:36,899 --> 00:47:39,943 - Sh-She's great too. - Yeah. - She's very adult. 718 00:47:39,943 --> 00:47:43,614 - Oh, y-you're doing great. We've been-- We've been totally impressed. - You look so hot in your suit. 719 00:47:43,614 --> 00:47:46,200 - Can I just tell you? - Thank you. 720 00:47:46,783 --> 00:47:49,620 - You look beautiful. - You do. You look amazing. 721 00:47:49,620 --> 00:47:52,623 - Thanks, men. - Yeah, there's something about you. I don't know what it is. 722 00:47:52,623 --> 00:47:55,792 - Tonight there's some special-- - An absence of something. 723 00:47:55,792 --> 00:47:59,129 - Of the cell phone. - Uh-uh-uh. It's set to vibrate. 724 00:47:59,588 --> 00:48:01,798 Oh, my-- Wow. That's sexy. 725 00:48:03,675 --> 00:48:07,346 - Did you ever just wanna be free of that thing? - No-- You don't understand. 726 00:48:07,346 --> 00:48:10,182 I-- I have a relationship with my phone. 727 00:48:10,974 --> 00:48:13,727 We have a chemistry together. I can't explain it. 728 00:48:13,727 --> 00:48:16,480 Yeah, well, chemistry's a funny thing. 729 00:48:16,647 --> 00:48:20,150 Yes, it is. Are you speaking abstractly or specifically? 730 00:48:23,028 --> 00:48:24,613 Abstractly. 731 00:48:28,867 --> 00:48:31,620 Well, looks like I'm going to Baghdad. 732 00:48:32,663 --> 00:48:34,998 Two seconds. Two seconds. So, it was a pleasure. 733 00:48:34,998 --> 00:48:37,042 - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. Take care. - It was nice to meet you. 734 00:48:37,042 --> 00:48:39,294 - Yes. Good luck to both of you. - Thank you. - I'll talk to you soon. 735 00:48:39,294 --> 00:48:41,463 - Okay. All right. Okay. - Okay. 736 00:48:41,463 --> 00:48:43,131 - I'll-- I'll talk to you. - Okay. Okay, call me. 737 00:48:43,131 --> 00:48:45,384 - All right. Okay, thank you. - Okay. Call me soon. 738 00:48:45,384 --> 00:48:48,053 - Thanks again. - Okay. Bye. - Bye. 739 00:48:58,063 --> 00:49:00,816 What are you thinking about right now? 740 00:49:00,941 --> 00:49:03,610 Oh, it's funny. I was at the Met yesterday. 741 00:49:03,610 --> 00:49:06,947 - Again? - I go every week now. And I noticed this little painting. 742 00:49:06,947 --> 00:49:10,117 It was a watercolour by Bonnard, and I've probably passed it every single time... 743 00:49:10,117 --> 00:49:12,953 and I don't know why, but this time I looked at it. 744 00:49:12,953 --> 00:49:16,248 And I was just-- I was riveted. It was so beautiful. 745 00:49:18,834 --> 00:49:21,920 That's all. I was just wondering why I never saw it before. 746 00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:24,131 Well, I mean, sometimes... 747 00:49:24,506 --> 00:49:27,634 we don't see certain things till we're ready to see'em... 748 00:49:27,634 --> 00:49:29,469 in a certain way. 749 00:49:30,012 --> 00:49:31,513 You know? 750 00:49:32,306 --> 00:49:33,849 Very true. 751 00:49:37,603 --> 00:49:38,937 Yeah. 752 00:49:41,148 --> 00:49:43,901 Hey, what's going on with Ruth and Ethan? 753 00:49:43,901 --> 00:49:45,360 Oh, uh-- 754 00:49:46,111 --> 00:49:49,823 Ethan married a Catholic girl, and that did not go over well. 755 00:49:50,491 --> 00:49:54,578 - That's why they're fighting? - No, no, they're not fighting. They're not talking. 756 00:49:54,578 --> 00:49:56,914 Two years now, no comunicado. 757 00:49:57,623 --> 00:49:59,583 - Are you serious? - Totally. It's-- 758 00:49:59,583 --> 00:50:02,419 What? Weren't they really close, though? 759 00:50:03,170 --> 00:50:05,964 - Oh, as close as Ruth and Jake. - Wow. 760 00:50:08,634 --> 00:50:11,136 - Well, that explains a lot. - Yeah. Yeah. 761 00:50:11,136 --> 00:50:14,223 I mean, you see why tonight is not just a date. 762 00:50:21,688 --> 00:50:24,900 I feel really terrible about having to cut the night short. 763 00:50:24,900 --> 00:50:26,985 - You know, if they-- - That's fine. I totally understand. 764 00:50:26,985 --> 00:50:31,031 - I mean, when the beeper beeps-- - You know, I'm just gonna be packing. 765 00:50:31,031 --> 00:50:34,117 Would you, um, like to come up for a nightcap? 766 00:50:34,952 --> 00:50:37,329 - Keep me company? - Uh, um-- 767 00:50:39,540 --> 00:50:42,668 I would love to, but I think I should let you do your thing. 768 00:50:42,668 --> 00:50:45,963 - I mean, you gotta go to Baghdad. I mean-- - Yeah. Yeah. 769 00:50:45,963 --> 00:50:47,172 - So. - Long flight. I know. 770 00:50:47,172 --> 00:50:48,549 - Yeah. - It-- Well, okay. 771 00:50:48,549 --> 00:50:52,135 But when you get back, we should definitely get together. 772 00:50:52,970 --> 00:50:54,513 - I would love to. - Okay. 773 00:50:54,513 --> 00:50:57,057 - It's a date. - Okay. All right. 774 00:50:58,308 --> 00:51:00,018 - Bye. - Bye. 775 00:51:00,727 --> 00:51:02,020 Bye. 776 00:51:14,366 --> 00:51:15,701 Taxi! 777 00:51:21,290 --> 00:51:23,584 - Well, this is me. - Okay. 778 00:51:23,584 --> 00:51:26,336 - You wanna come up for a while? - Oh. 779 00:51:26,461 --> 00:51:30,841 I would love to, but I really should get home, because I have a very early conference call. 780 00:51:30,841 --> 00:51:33,844 Me too. I mean, I gotta talk to the Big Guy. 781 00:51:35,637 --> 00:51:37,890 - Right. - He calls early. 782 00:51:38,724 --> 00:51:41,643 - Rain check, though. - Yeah. Definitely. 783 00:51:41,768 --> 00:51:42,936 - Definitely. - Okay. - Okay. 784 00:51:42,936 --> 00:51:44,521 Good night. 785 00:51:46,523 --> 00:51:48,817 - Good night. - Good night. 786 00:52:16,595 --> 00:52:18,222 - Hi. - Hi. 787 00:52:20,516 --> 00:52:22,643 What are you doing here? 788 00:52:23,060 --> 00:52:25,687 I don't know. What am I doing here? 789 00:52:43,831 --> 00:52:48,085 I haven't screamed that hard since the U.S. hockey team beat the Russians. 790 00:52:48,085 --> 00:52:49,795 You're incredible. 791 00:52:49,795 --> 00:52:52,881 I've been wanting to do that since the second you walked off that aeroplane. 792 00:52:52,881 --> 00:52:54,675 - Really? - Yeah. 793 00:52:54,675 --> 00:52:57,219 Right away? You hadn't seen me in 16 years. 794 00:52:57,219 --> 00:53:01,306 I know, and you were this, like, tough, sexy, straight-ahead businesswoman. 795 00:53:01,306 --> 00:53:05,519 I just wanted to pull you off into Security and give you a cavity search. 796 00:53:07,104 --> 00:53:09,523 Now that would have been impulsive. 797 00:53:09,523 --> 00:53:12,526 Yeah, well, this is pretty impulsive for me. 798 00:53:15,404 --> 00:53:18,240 - Believe me. - But good, though, right? 799 00:53:18,448 --> 00:53:22,411 Yeah, good, just, I mean, could get a little complicated. You know? 800 00:53:25,372 --> 00:53:29,626 Well, what would people at work think if they knew you were sleeping with a rabbi? 801 00:53:29,626 --> 00:53:31,545 Could be a scandal. 802 00:53:34,381 --> 00:53:35,632 Oh. 803 00:53:37,759 --> 00:53:39,344 - Listen. - Yeah. 804 00:53:39,344 --> 00:53:41,722 You know what my life is like. 805 00:53:42,389 --> 00:53:45,309 - I'm only here for a little while. - Yes. 806 00:53:46,435 --> 00:53:50,063 And I'm fine just hanging out having a great time with you. 807 00:53:50,230 --> 00:53:51,648 Mm-hmm. 808 00:53:52,941 --> 00:53:56,236 But sometimes I wanna jump you too. What can I say? 809 00:53:58,822 --> 00:54:00,491 Is that okay? 810 00:54:00,991 --> 00:54:03,702 Yeah, it's okay. It's more than okay. 811 00:54:07,039 --> 00:54:09,791 Think we should say anything to Brian? 812 00:54:10,918 --> 00:54:13,962 I-I think it might be a little weird for him. 813 00:54:16,048 --> 00:54:18,509 You don't think he'd understand? 814 00:54:18,675 --> 00:54:20,928 No, I just-- I don't know. 815 00:54:21,386 --> 00:54:24,139 I think we should just keep it simple. 816 00:54:25,891 --> 00:54:27,643 I'm for simple. 817 00:54:29,061 --> 00:54:32,648 I have something simple that I'd like to discuss with you. 818 00:54:36,151 --> 00:54:37,945 Do you wanna know 819 00:54:38,487 --> 00:54:40,614 If everythin' glitterin' 820 00:54:42,407 --> 00:54:44,451 Will turn into the gold 821 00:54:45,953 --> 00:54:47,704 I see in your hair 822 00:54:48,831 --> 00:54:50,791 Feel it could be there 823 00:54:51,291 --> 00:54:52,709 Somehow 824 00:54:54,419 --> 00:54:55,838 Tonight 825 00:54:58,590 --> 00:55:00,551 And do you wanna fight 826 00:55:01,301 --> 00:55:03,428 Somethin' worth savin' 827 00:55:04,137 --> 00:55:06,390 The change would do me right 828 00:55:07,641 --> 00:55:09,977 'Cause I've been just waitin' 829 00:55:11,478 --> 00:55:13,856 And hesitatin' with this heart 830 00:55:17,317 --> 00:55:18,527 Of 831 00:55:20,654 --> 00:55:21,947 Mine 832 00:55:27,077 --> 00:55:29,079 You're still a mystery 833 00:55:30,038 --> 00:55:32,374 But there's somethin' so easy 834 00:55:33,208 --> 00:55:35,335 In how you're sweet to me 835 00:55:37,296 --> 00:55:39,006 I feel completed 836 00:55:39,464 --> 00:55:42,342 Like it's somethin' I needed for this heart 837 00:55:46,513 --> 00:55:47,723 Of 838 00:55:49,766 --> 00:55:51,059 Mine 839 00:55:56,940 --> 00:55:59,568 There's always somethin' so tragic 840 00:56:03,155 --> 00:56:05,324 About a hopeless romantic 841 00:56:24,092 --> 00:56:27,012 We have a Jake Schram here for Anna Reilly. 842 00:56:27,471 --> 00:56:29,014 Yes? Okay. 843 00:56:31,350 --> 00:56:34,978 Hey, you know, I'm gonna be coming here a lot, so maybe in the future we don't have to do this whole name thing... 844 00:56:34,978 --> 00:56:39,107 and you could just say, "Hey, Jake," and I could say, "Hey, T-Bone." 845 00:56:40,734 --> 00:56:44,029 - That pass is good for one hour. - Okay. Thank you. 846 00:56:45,239 --> 00:56:47,616 Wednesday night, you have a due diligence call at 7:00... 847 00:56:47,616 --> 00:56:49,618 and a dinner at 8:00. 848 00:56:50,118 --> 00:56:54,122 All right. I'm make the call, but cancel the dinner. I have a class. 849 00:56:54,373 --> 00:56:56,083 Oh, he's late. 850 00:56:58,377 --> 00:57:01,255 Oh, my God. Are you guys getting serious? 851 00:57:02,798 --> 00:57:05,551 - No, no, no, no, no, no. - Yes, you are. 852 00:57:05,551 --> 00:57:07,636 - No, we're not. - I saw it. I can tell. 853 00:57:07,636 --> 00:57:10,639 - No, no, no. - I-- - Oh, it's-- He's here. 854 00:57:12,015 --> 00:57:13,684 - Hey. - Hi. 855 00:57:15,227 --> 00:57:18,147 Uh, Debbie, this is Jake. Jake, vice versa. 856 00:57:19,064 --> 00:57:20,566 - Hi. - Hi. How you doing? 857 00:57:20,566 --> 00:57:23,735 Hi, Jake. Can I just say, um, good-- good for you. 858 00:57:25,529 --> 00:57:27,906 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 859 00:57:29,074 --> 00:57:32,035 - Uh, Debbie? - Debbie, Debbie, Deb-- What? 860 00:57:33,871 --> 00:57:36,957 - Oh! Th-- Um, the numbers are good for you, yeah? - Good. 861 00:57:36,957 --> 00:57:41,879 Good. Just run one more scenario and assume an eight-percent I RR and PV it to present day. 862 00:57:43,088 --> 00:57:44,381 Bye. 863 00:57:48,219 --> 00:57:50,889 - Hi. - Wow, you're really gonna run an eight-percent I RR... 864 00:57:50,889 --> 00:57:53,099 'cause I'd go with a fifteen percent at least. 865 00:57:53,099 --> 00:57:54,976 Stick with the Torah. 866 00:57:54,976 --> 00:57:57,228 Look at this place. This is ridiculous. 867 00:57:57,228 --> 00:57:59,480 This is so impressive. Wow. 868 00:58:00,440 --> 00:58:02,984 - Hi again. - Hey. - Hey. 869 00:58:03,443 --> 00:58:05,695 - Can we close your Levolor blinds and-- - Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. 870 00:58:05,695 --> 00:58:08,031 - What? - I want to show you something. Remember that guy I told you about? 871 00:58:08,031 --> 00:58:10,658 - Um, the guy, the guy-- Oh, that guy. - Mr 23rd Floor. 872 00:58:10,658 --> 00:58:12,076 - Yes. - Check it out. 873 00:58:12,076 --> 00:58:14,037 - All right. - Right there, with the huge ficus plant. 874 00:58:14,037 --> 00:58:15,622 I doubt anything interesting will be going on now... 875 00:58:15,622 --> 00:58:18,041 - Trust me. - but if you want me to look at-- 876 00:58:18,041 --> 00:58:19,918 Whoa! Holy majoly! 877 00:58:20,710 --> 00:58:22,170 Told ya. 878 00:58:23,588 --> 00:58:26,090 Does he have music on in there? Huh? 879 00:58:26,090 --> 00:58:28,468 He's, like, porn-slapping her. 880 00:58:29,135 --> 00:58:31,262 - We should go now. - Ooh. 881 00:58:31,262 --> 00:58:34,849 He has a healthy self-confidence. I can tell from his posturing. 882 00:58:34,849 --> 00:58:38,853 - Ready? Let's go. - I can-- Hang on one second. I'm learning something here. 883 00:58:38,853 --> 00:58:40,104 - I'm learning-- - We're gonna be late. 884 00:58:40,104 --> 00:58:43,274 You're gonna be-- You're gonna benefit from this. 885 00:58:43,274 --> 00:58:45,276 I can't Wednesday night. I have a class. 886 00:58:45,276 --> 00:58:47,111 Okay, what are these classes already? 887 00:58:47,111 --> 00:58:50,573 I just try new things sometimes. I don't want to talk about it. I get embarrassed. 888 00:58:50,573 --> 00:58:53,868 You shouldn't be embarrassed. A lot of people take aikido. 889 00:58:53,868 --> 00:58:55,995 - Nope. - Line dancing. 890 00:58:56,037 --> 00:58:58,039 - Not even close. - Why-- What is the big deal? 891 00:58:58,039 --> 00:59:00,250 - Why can't I know? - Jake. 892 00:59:00,250 --> 00:59:02,168 - Feng shui? - No. 893 00:59:02,377 --> 00:59:04,587 You shouldn't be embarrassed if it's feng shui. Okay. 894 00:59:04,587 --> 00:59:08,174 You know what? Don't tell me. I don't even need to know, 'cause I like the little misterioso quality. 895 00:59:08,174 --> 00:59:10,385 - It's very sexy. It turns me on. - That's very good. 896 00:59:10,385 --> 00:59:11,678 - Yeah. - All right, I gotta pee. 897 00:59:11,678 --> 00:59:15,056 Hold on a second. I wanna tell you something. Listen. 898 00:59:17,350 --> 00:59:19,227 Hold that thought. 899 00:59:25,942 --> 00:59:28,152 - Look who's here! - Hey! 900 00:59:28,486 --> 00:59:30,321 - Look who's here! - Hey! - Hey, Rabbi! 901 00:59:30,321 --> 00:59:32,532 Ho-- Holy. How you doin'? 902 00:59:32,824 --> 00:59:34,534 - Larry. - Larry, Ellen... - Yeah. 903 00:59:34,534 --> 00:59:36,536 What the-- What the-- What are you doin' here? 904 00:59:36,536 --> 00:59:39,706 What do you think? We're buying a turkey. No, no, we're seeing a movie. 905 00:59:39,747 --> 00:59:42,709 - That's what we're doing. - Are you alone? 906 00:59:43,376 --> 00:59:46,379 No. I mean-- I mean, I'm with an old friend. 907 00:59:48,715 --> 00:59:51,426 has been trying to get you to take her daughter out for months, huh? 908 00:59:51,467 --> 00:59:53,761 Let me tell you, it wouldn't hurt to call her, because her family is very wealthy. 909 00:59:53,761 --> 00:59:57,140 - Although she's no Rachel Rose. - I know, but they could contribute to the senior centre. 910 00:59:57,140 --> 01:00:00,268 I'm gonna do that, I'm gonna call her, but right now I'm taking a little break from the dating and the whole-- 911 01:00:00,268 --> 01:00:01,811 - Why? - It's a little bit too much-- Whoa! - If this isn't too-- 912 01:00:01,811 --> 01:00:03,980 - Whoa! - Look at-- - What the heck is-- This is-- 913 01:00:03,980 --> 01:00:06,482 - Hi. How are you? - We were just talking about Rachel. 914 01:00:06,482 --> 01:00:09,110 Well, naturally. Did you all come together? 915 01:00:09,110 --> 01:00:10,236 - No, no, no, no, no, no. - No. 916 01:00:10,236 --> 01:00:13,823 We-- We just-- We just-- This-- This is why I love New York. 917 01:00:14,115 --> 01:00:16,826 - Yeah, it's true. - Well, these are my movie girls. 918 01:00:16,826 --> 01:00:18,202 - Hi. - Hi. - This is Roz and Chaya Lentz. 919 01:00:18,202 --> 01:00:20,204 - Yes. Hi. - We're gonna see that Garcia picture. Andy Garcia. 920 01:00:20,204 --> 01:00:21,372 - We are. - Oh, so are we. - Oh. 921 01:00:21,372 --> 01:00:24,584 - Hi, Rabbi. - You know, my daughter's been back from Libya like a week. 922 01:00:24,584 --> 01:00:26,210 - Right. - Yeah, she told me that she called you a couple of times. 923 01:00:26,210 --> 01:00:28,296 - Yeah, we've been-- we've been trying to call-- - She's very disappointed... 924 01:00:28,296 --> 01:00:29,672 - We-- We-- - not to connect up with you. - I know. I'm sorry. 925 01:00:29,672 --> 01:00:31,341 - It's-- - Hey. - It's been-- Hey, how you doin'? 926 01:00:31,341 --> 01:00:33,218 - Perfect. Great. Um-- - This is your friend? 927 01:00:33,218 --> 01:00:35,803 This is it. This is my buddy, um-- 928 01:00:36,012 --> 01:00:38,223 This is my buddy, Anna. These are people-- 929 01:00:38,223 --> 01:00:41,309 This is Larry Friedman. He's the president of the synagogue. 930 01:00:41,309 --> 01:00:42,852 - And his wife. - I've heard so much about you. - Hi. How are you? 931 01:00:42,852 --> 01:00:44,229 - I'm good. Thank you. - And Ellen. 932 01:00:44,229 --> 01:00:46,147 - Hi. - Hello! - Nice to meet you. 933 01:00:46,147 --> 01:00:48,441 - Pleasure. - Hi. - and the Luntzes? 934 01:00:48,441 --> 01:00:50,068 - Lentzes. - Lentzes. - Hi. 935 01:00:50,068 --> 01:00:52,320 - And all of these people are all members of the congregation. - Got it. 936 01:00:52,320 --> 01:00:54,447 - I don't think I got your last name. - Reilly. 937 01:00:54,447 --> 01:00:56,032 - Um-- - Reilly? 938 01:00:56,032 --> 01:00:59,661 We, Anna and I and Father Brian, as children, used to play. 939 01:01:00,161 --> 01:01:02,121 - Isn't that nice? - What movie are you seeing, Rabbi? 940 01:01:02,121 --> 01:01:04,415 - We're gonna-- We're gonna see the I MAX-- - Andy Garcia. 941 01:01:04,415 --> 01:01:05,875 - He's in that, right? - No, I don't think so. 942 01:01:05,875 --> 01:01:07,293 - Well, maybe we should go. - We're going to the same one. Let's go. 943 01:01:07,293 --> 01:01:09,837 Anyway. I thought he was in that. 944 01:01:12,715 --> 01:01:14,884 Where are the paper towels? 945 01:01:16,928 --> 01:01:19,055 There are no paper towels. 946 01:01:20,723 --> 01:01:23,893 Jesus Christ, lam in a crisis here! I need some help! 947 01:01:23,893 --> 01:01:26,145 I need someone that can look around the house... 948 01:01:26,145 --> 01:01:30,817 and when there are no paper towels, they go to the god dam store and buy some paper towels! 949 01:01:31,359 --> 01:01:34,404 I mean, how many god dam stores do you pass on the way home from school... 950 01:01:34,404 --> 01:01:36,322 - that are filled with paper towels? - You okay? 951 01:01:36,322 --> 01:01:40,159 - Yeah. - I need someone to use a little common sense around here! 952 01:01:45,415 --> 01:01:47,750 Why don't you get somebody else? 953 01:01:48,376 --> 01:01:52,005 - Okay, what? - If we were actually going out, I'd be very pissed off at you right now. 954 01:01:52,005 --> 01:01:54,090 Yes, well, if we were actually going out, I'd say that... 955 01:01:54,090 --> 01:01:56,759 that was a very scary situation for me, and you just made it worse. 956 01:01:56,759 --> 01:01:59,554 Well, then I would say that is no excuse for what just went on in there. 957 01:01:59,554 --> 01:02:03,099 Well, I'd say, "I'm sorry. Too bad. That's the way it is, and you have to deal with it." 958 01:02:03,099 --> 01:02:05,602 - Well, then I would say that you-- that was absolutely-- - What? What would you say? What? 959 01:02:05,602 --> 01:02:08,187 Come on. Bring it! Bring the pain! 960 01:02:08,271 --> 01:02:10,189 Say it. Say it all. 961 01:02:11,482 --> 01:02:14,569 - You wanna-- - I guess it's a good thing we're not going out, then. 962 01:02:14,569 --> 01:02:16,779 - Thank God. - Thank God. 963 01:02:17,196 --> 01:02:21,618 - I wasn't really mad. Were you? - No, but you're still gonna get a spanking. 964 01:02:45,308 --> 01:02:48,269 - You're in such good shape. I mean-- - Are you all right? 965 01:02:48,269 --> 01:02:50,563 Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Oh, God. 966 01:02:50,605 --> 01:02:52,106 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You gotta stretch. 967 01:02:52,106 --> 01:02:56,277 - I can't-- No. - You gotta stretch, or you're gonna tighten up. I'm telling you. 968 01:02:56,277 --> 01:02:58,404 - Ow! - Does that hurt? 969 01:02:58,696 --> 01:03:01,032 - No, it feels good. - Okay. 970 01:03:02,617 --> 01:03:04,369 Harder. Harder. 971 01:03:08,790 --> 01:03:10,750 Okay. That's enough. 972 01:03:11,584 --> 01:03:13,503 You're such a wimp. 973 01:03:50,498 --> 01:03:55,670 Hi, this is Anna. Only three people have this number, so if you're not one of them, leave me alone. 974 01:03:57,005 --> 01:03:59,299 Hey, it's me. Are you there? 975 01:03:59,883 --> 01:04:01,968 Hello? Pick up the phone. 976 01:04:05,013 --> 01:04:07,932 Probably still at work. It's not that important. 977 01:04:07,932 --> 01:04:10,226 I was just thinking about you. 978 01:04:10,810 --> 01:04:14,731 Thought maybe we could do dinner this week, you know, just you and me? 979 01:04:15,064 --> 01:04:17,775 This is Brian, by the way, in case you were wondering. 980 01:04:17,775 --> 01:04:19,736 You know where to find me. 981 01:04:19,736 --> 01:04:21,654 Call me, okay? Bye. 982 01:04:27,327 --> 01:04:28,369 - What? - I gotta go now. I gotta go. 983 01:04:28,369 --> 01:04:30,455 What? No, no, no. Can't-- Just give me 20 minutes. Come on. 984 01:04:30,455 --> 01:04:31,623 - Twenty minutes? - Okay. 985 01:04:31,623 --> 01:04:34,250 - I'm late. This is becoming a bad habit. - Fifteen minutes. 986 01:04:34,250 --> 01:04:37,170 - I have-- - Well, 141/2 minutes. Please? 987 01:04:37,587 --> 01:04:41,174 - I have to go back to the mines. - We all have to go back to the mines. 988 01:04:41,174 --> 01:04:42,467 - Don't you have work to do? - I do. 989 01:04:42,467 --> 01:04:45,929 We're doing a hostile takeover of Congregation Bertov Sholem. 990 01:04:45,929 --> 01:04:48,348 - Okay. - And-- - You do that. 991 01:04:48,348 --> 01:04:49,724 - Okay, I'll do that. - I'm officially going now. - Okay. Oh, whoops. 992 01:04:49,724 --> 01:04:50,892 - Okay. - Okay-- Oh. 993 01:04:50,892 --> 01:04:53,353 - Oh-- - Toll booth. Ding-dong. 994 01:04:53,978 --> 01:04:56,439 - Time to pay the toll. - Okay. 995 01:05:00,735 --> 01:05:02,987 - There. - Oh-- - I paid. 996 01:05:03,321 --> 01:05:06,032 God was showing off when He made you. 997 01:05:12,789 --> 01:05:14,290 Okay, go. 998 01:05:15,833 --> 01:05:18,628 But you'll be back. They all come back. 999 01:05:50,285 --> 01:05:52,579 Ah, yes, they all come back. 1000 01:05:52,996 --> 01:05:55,456 Sooner or later, they all-- Ooh. 1001 01:05:56,207 --> 01:05:57,500 Hey. 1002 01:05:59,502 --> 01:06:01,421 - Hi. How are you? - I'm good. 1003 01:06:01,421 --> 01:06:04,132 - How you doin'? - What's up, my man? 1004 01:06:05,133 --> 01:06:06,926 What are you-- What are you-- What are you doing here? 1005 01:06:06,926 --> 01:06:12,140 - I wanna get the karaoke machine. Am I interrupting something? - Yeah, I got a blonde in the back. 1006 01:06:12,140 --> 01:06:14,100 - Come on. Let's go. - Right now? - Yeah, yeah. Come on. 1007 01:06:14,100 --> 01:06:16,311 - Okay, okay, okay. - We got the money. I mean, why wait? - Come in for a second. 1008 01:06:16,311 --> 01:06:18,688 - Come in for a second. - No, no, no. Come on. I wanna go. The place closes in, like, 20 minutes. 1009 01:06:18,688 --> 01:06:20,440 - Okay, come in for one second. Come in for one second. - Well, wait, wait, wait-- 1010 01:06:20,440 --> 01:06:23,610 Hey, hey, hey. Hey. Hey. A.D.D. boy. Right here. 1011 01:06:23,651 --> 01:06:27,322 You wanna get it, let's get it, but be with me when we get it. 1012 01:06:27,322 --> 01:06:29,157 - Stay focused. - I'm with you, man. - Okay. 1013 01:06:29,157 --> 01:06:30,950 - Okay. - Okay. 1014 01:06:35,997 --> 01:06:38,541 Test. Test. Sibilance. Sibilance. 1015 01:06:39,292 --> 01:06:42,378 I'm the king of rock. There ain't none higher. 1016 01:06:42,420 --> 01:06:45,173 - Suck-- This doesn't work. - Well, guy's in the back. 1017 01:06:45,173 --> 01:06:46,966 - Sucka-- - I can't find him. 1018 01:06:46,966 --> 01:06:50,220 Hey, listen. The contractor wants to do a walk-through on-- on Tuesday next week. 1019 01:06:50,220 --> 01:06:52,055 - Can you do that? - Mm, Tuesday. 1020 01:06:52,055 --> 01:06:55,433 We have to, like, "punch up" or "punch out" or something. 1021 01:06:55,433 --> 01:06:57,810 I didn't understand the terms. I just-- I just said okay. 1022 01:06:57,810 --> 01:07:00,855 No, Tuesday's not good for me. I gotta mourn with the Schwartzes. 1023 01:07:00,855 --> 01:07:04,567 Oh. Hmm. What about Thursday night? I think they can do Thursday night. 1024 01:07:04,567 --> 01:07:08,529 - What you got? - Uh-- I-- I just-- I can't do that. I got a thing. 1025 01:07:08,529 --> 01:07:11,491 Well, can you cancel it? 'Cause we're, like, getting really behind schedule here. 1026 01:07:11,491 --> 01:07:13,743 - They're-- They're gettin' very irritable, and the-- - No. It's just this-- 1027 01:07:13,743 --> 01:07:17,956 It's just this thing. Anna wants me to take her to this office party deal. 1028 01:07:18,331 --> 01:07:20,500 - I don't know what it is. - Really? 1029 01:07:20,500 --> 01:07:23,002 Is it like-- like, uh, something-- big thing or something? 1030 01:07:23,002 --> 01:07:27,090 - No. No, no, no. Just she needs someone to, you know go with her. - Oh. 1031 01:07:27,090 --> 01:07:29,259 Yeah, no, 'cause she-- I mean, she-- she didn't even mention that to me, so I was-- 1032 01:07:29,259 --> 01:07:30,635 Nah, it's not a-- It's a-- Whatever. 1033 01:07:30,635 --> 01:07:32,470 Jesse is a friend 1034 01:07:33,721 --> 01:07:36,432 And he's always been a good friend of mine 1035 01:07:38,184 --> 01:07:41,604 But lately something changed that ain't hard to define 1036 01:07:41,604 --> 01:07:44,816 Jesse's got himself a girl and I want to make her mine 1037 01:07:45,316 --> 01:07:48,027 And she's watching him with those eyes 1038 01:07:48,903 --> 01:07:52,365 And she's loving him with that body of hers, I just know it 1039 01:07:53,116 --> 01:07:55,493 You know that I want Jesse's girl 1040 01:07:57,495 --> 01:08:00,456 - Jesse's girl - How you guys doing? I'm Don. 1041 01:08:02,000 --> 01:08:03,626 - Don? - Don. Rhyme with flan. 1042 01:08:03,626 --> 01:08:06,421 - Hey. Brian. - Flan? - Yes. You have any question? 1043 01:08:06,421 --> 01:08:10,383 Yes, yes, indeed, Don, we do. Um, is this-- is this a good machine? 1044 01:08:10,550 --> 01:08:13,469 Yeah, it's good, if you're a cheap bastard. 1045 01:08:13,970 --> 01:08:16,723 No, just-- Just doing comedy with you. 1046 01:08:17,682 --> 01:08:21,269 That one is okay, but if you really serious about karaoke-- 1047 01:08:21,811 --> 01:08:23,062 - Oh, we are. - Okay. 1048 01:08:23,062 --> 01:08:25,565 Then there only one model for you. 1049 01:08:25,565 --> 01:08:27,317 The Audio 2000. 1050 01:08:27,859 --> 01:08:31,029 This baby got the 16-bit dual D.A. converter... 1051 01:08:32,155 --> 01:08:35,241 three-beam tracking, digital key controller... 1052 01:08:35,909 --> 01:08:39,996 so you can change the pitch if your voice sucks, but I don't need that. 1053 01:08:42,790 --> 01:08:45,877 - That's nice. How much? - Price is not important. 1054 01:08:45,877 --> 01:08:48,796 - No, price is very important, actually. - Okay. 1055 01:08:48,796 --> 01:08:50,673 You got me. Take me away. Okay. 1056 01:08:50,673 --> 01:08:54,510 It's a little bit expensive, but let me tell you, it's worth it. 1057 01:08:55,220 --> 01:08:58,348 - When you sing to your girlfriend... - Uh-huh. 1058 01:08:58,348 --> 01:09:01,809 and her heart-- Shoo! Boom!-- fall down on the floor... 1059 01:09:02,894 --> 01:09:05,396 then you say, "Thank you, Don!" 1060 01:09:05,396 --> 01:09:08,066 Okay, how much does it cost exactly? 1061 01:09:14,530 --> 01:09:17,283 All right. Here's the real deal, okay? 1062 01:09:18,326 --> 01:09:21,871 Um, I don't usually do this, but you guys look like cool guys... 1063 01:09:21,871 --> 01:09:26,251 and, uh, I got a little piece of ass last night, so I'm feeling extra generous. 1064 01:09:26,251 --> 01:09:29,546 - Oh. - I'm gonna let you guys have it for 1 ,300. 1065 01:09:29,712 --> 01:09:32,257 - Thirteen hundred? - Final offer. 1066 01:09:32,257 --> 01:09:34,968 - Oh. Excuse me. I just got a-- I got a little warm there. - Yeah. 1067 01:09:34,968 --> 01:09:38,388 - My friend, he gets-- he gets a little warm. - Yeah. 1068 01:09:38,638 --> 01:09:40,098 Aw, man! 1069 01:09:41,266 --> 01:09:44,602 What is that? What is th-- Get outta here with that! 1070 01:09:44,644 --> 01:09:46,938 - Is that real? - Oh, yeah. 1071 01:09:50,900 --> 01:09:56,948 Trust me, they'll love you. These guys are fascinated by anyone who can survive on less that a hundred grand a year. 1072 01:09:57,198 --> 01:09:59,033 All right, okay. I feel ready for this. 1073 01:09:59,033 --> 01:10:01,869 You wanna give me some special business terms so I sound like I know what I'm talking about? 1074 01:10:01,869 --> 01:10:03,830 - Standard B.S.C. deal. - What does that mean? 1075 01:10:03,830 --> 01:10:05,748 - Booze, schmooze and cruise, dude. - Ah. 1076 01:10:05,748 --> 01:10:07,458 Wait. How do I look? 1077 01:10:07,458 --> 01:10:09,544 - You look incredible. - Do I have anything in my teeth? 1078 01:10:09,544 --> 01:10:11,462 Uh, let me see. No. 1079 01:10:11,796 --> 01:10:15,008 - You look perfect. - Thank you. You ready for this, Rabbi? 1080 01:10:15,008 --> 01:10:18,303 - Not at all. - Oh. - Let's do it anyway. 1081 01:10:18,887 --> 01:10:20,555 What you think 1082 01:10:23,433 --> 01:10:25,184 What you feel now 1083 01:10:27,604 --> 01:10:29,230 What you know 1084 01:10:31,524 --> 01:10:33,401 - To be real - Hey, Anna, come here. 1085 01:10:33,401 --> 01:10:36,946 We're doing shots. You gotta do-- Hey, I'm sorry. Just gotta borrow her for one second. 1086 01:10:36,946 --> 01:10:40,366 All right. You think you can talk. This woman can talk. 1087 01:10:40,408 --> 01:10:43,244 - Oh, Len. - No, you know you can, Anna. 1088 01:10:44,829 --> 01:10:47,081 - What you know - Thank you. 1089 01:10:48,333 --> 01:10:49,876 To be real 1090 01:10:50,126 --> 01:10:52,962 See? That's the guy's problem, right? He's afraid to drive. 1091 01:10:52,962 --> 01:10:56,341 If the guy would just go down the middle with some, you know, like Sprewell. 1092 01:10:56,341 --> 01:10:58,426 - Same thing. Hey. - Excuse me, Rabbi. 1093 01:10:58,426 --> 01:11:03,139 I'm sorry to interrupt, but there's a question of Talmudic precedent that requires your immediate attention. 1094 01:11:03,139 --> 01:11:05,808 - Ah, excuse me. - My love is your love 1095 01:11:05,808 --> 01:11:07,602 - Our love is here to stay - Very good. - Charming. 1096 01:11:07,602 --> 01:11:10,146 Talmudic. Where'd you learn that? 1097 01:11:10,855 --> 01:11:14,234 - Look at the city. - What you think - I think I love you 1098 01:11:15,985 --> 01:11:17,737 What you feel now 1099 01:11:18,655 --> 01:11:20,323 I feel I need you 1100 01:11:20,782 --> 01:11:23,451 Do you think Len was a Ritalin child? 1101 01:11:23,451 --> 01:11:25,286 - He still is. - Those guys love you. 1102 01:11:25,328 --> 01:11:27,914 Hmm. They love me 'cause I bust their balls. 1103 01:11:27,914 --> 01:11:30,875 No, no, no. I mean, they really respect you. 1104 01:11:30,875 --> 01:11:33,586 It's amazing. You should be running that company. 1105 01:11:33,586 --> 01:11:36,756 - Actually, they want me to. - What do you mean? 1106 01:11:36,798 --> 01:11:41,052 Um, they want-- asked me to run the high tech group back in San Francisco. 1107 01:11:41,261 --> 01:11:43,846 - Anna. Are you serious? - Mm-hmm. 1108 01:11:44,430 --> 01:11:45,848 - That's-- - I kind of knew it was coming. 1109 01:11:45,848 --> 01:11:47,934 I mean, who else were they gonna give it to? 1110 01:11:47,934 --> 01:11:50,103 Listen to you. You're like-- That's incredible. 1111 01:11:50,103 --> 01:11:53,690 Yeah? Well, if you think I had no life before, I mean, I'll disappear. 1112 01:11:53,690 --> 01:11:57,485 Yes, but this is-- this is everything you've worked for, right? 1113 01:11:57,485 --> 01:11:59,237 - I'm so proud of you. I'm so happy for you. - Really? 1114 01:11:59,237 --> 01:12:01,864 - Yeah, of course, really. - Well... 1115 01:12:02,365 --> 01:12:04,409 here's the thing, Jake. 1116 01:12:04,534 --> 01:12:07,328 I've been thinking about it, and, um... 1117 01:12:07,370 --> 01:12:11,165 I'm excited, but I'm not as excited as I am about you and me... 1118 01:12:12,166 --> 01:12:15,837 and so I don't think I wanna go, because I wanna be near you. 1119 01:12:16,379 --> 01:12:19,757 So I thought I'd put in for a transfer and stay here. 1120 01:12:21,384 --> 01:12:23,261 What do you think? 1121 01:12:23,845 --> 01:12:25,138 Wow! 1122 01:12:26,389 --> 01:12:28,057 Um, that's... 1123 01:12:29,976 --> 01:12:31,269 unexpected. 1124 01:12:31,269 --> 01:12:33,438 - Um-- - It is? - Yeah. 1125 01:12:34,731 --> 01:12:37,609 Are you sure that that is the best thing? 1126 01:12:37,692 --> 01:12:39,652 - Oh, I-- - For-- For you? 1127 01:12:39,652 --> 01:12:41,654 Oh. I don't know. I-- 1128 01:12:42,906 --> 01:12:46,200 - I thought you'd be excited. - No. No, no, no. I am. I'm just-- I'm just-- 1129 01:12:46,200 --> 01:12:49,287 I-- I'm sorry. I thought-- Am I off base here? 1130 01:12:49,871 --> 01:12:51,748 - Sorry. - No, you're not. 1131 01:12:51,748 --> 01:12:54,417 It was just an impulse. It's totally fine. 1132 01:12:54,417 --> 01:12:56,085 - Okay, 'cause I-- - It's totally fine. Really. 1133 01:12:56,085 --> 01:12:57,837 - I thought that we-- - No, I know. I-- 1134 01:12:57,837 --> 01:13:00,381 I think that tequila shot made me a little giddy. 1135 01:13:00,381 --> 01:13:02,300 - Should we go somewhere and talk about this? - No, no, no, no. 1136 01:13:02,300 --> 01:13:03,760 - Let's get outta here. - No, no, no. No, no. - Let's go talk about it. 1137 01:13:03,760 --> 01:13:07,013 No, no, no. No, no, no. It's totally great. It's so fine. 1138 01:13:07,013 --> 01:13:10,266 I'm having a great time. Let's just have fun, okay? 1139 01:13:12,143 --> 01:13:14,395 - Ooh. - No, I don't-- Oh. 1140 01:13:15,647 --> 01:13:19,067 - Whoo! Let's go dance. - Playin' in a rock and roll band 1141 01:13:20,318 --> 01:13:22,487 I never had no problems, yeah 1142 01:13:24,906 --> 01:13:27,408 Burnin 'down the one-nightstands 1143 01:13:29,077 --> 01:13:31,371 And everything around me, yeah 1144 01:14:17,834 --> 01:14:19,627 - Amen. - Amen. 1145 01:14:21,629 --> 01:14:23,840 - Oh, my! - Sicko. Sicko. 1146 01:14:26,092 --> 01:14:28,678 I can't laugh. My spleen hurts. I'm so full. 1147 01:14:28,678 --> 01:14:31,806 H-How did you stay such a skinny kid in this household with you cooking like this? 1148 01:14:31,806 --> 01:14:33,933 He was always blessed. He got my genes. 1149 01:14:33,933 --> 01:14:39,022 Ethan, on the other hand, that's another story. When he was a kid, he was such a little chub. 1150 01:14:39,689 --> 01:14:42,942 He actually had to miss school one day because he couldn't fit into any of his pants. 1151 01:14:42,942 --> 01:14:46,654 - You're joking. - No, it's the truth. He had to call in fat. 1152 01:14:48,031 --> 01:14:51,659 Mom, he never called in fat. Come on. Give the guy a break. 1153 01:14:52,118 --> 01:14:54,203 He looks so good these days. You should see him. 1154 01:14:54,203 --> 01:14:57,123 He's been working out with a trainer. Jackie's got him on this-- this regimen. 1155 01:14:57,123 --> 01:15:00,084 I mean, he looks very trim and slim. He looks good. 1156 01:15:00,084 --> 01:15:02,712 He's looking very trim because she don't know how to cook. 1157 01:15:02,712 --> 01:15:06,257 She's a good cook. You might find that out if you ever tried some of her food. 1158 01:15:06,257 --> 01:15:09,385 I don't wanna talk about this any more. Get it? 1159 01:15:09,677 --> 01:15:11,679 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1160 01:15:12,764 --> 01:15:16,142 - What were we talking about? - The meal was so good. 1161 01:15:16,392 --> 01:15:18,102 This was so good. Thank you. 1162 01:15:18,102 --> 01:15:19,812 - Hear! Hear! As always. - All right. Yep. 1163 01:15:19,812 --> 01:15:23,024 Somebody's gotta feed all these skinny people in the world. 1164 01:15:23,024 --> 01:15:26,694 Okay, now you guys get the dishes, and the ladies will talk. 1165 01:15:28,571 --> 01:15:31,491 Jake, put on some water for tea, will you? 1166 01:15:51,594 --> 01:15:54,847 It's like a fairy tale, these flowers framing you. 1167 01:15:56,641 --> 01:15:58,768 That's called a chuppah. 1168 01:15:59,143 --> 01:16:00,436 Wow. 1169 01:16:02,480 --> 01:16:05,441 Oh, my God. You look so beautiful together. 1170 01:16:08,069 --> 01:16:10,863 Please. We were so young. We were kids. 1171 01:16:12,365 --> 01:16:15,743 As much grief as I give Jake, I think you're all doing it the right way. 1172 01:16:15,743 --> 01:16:20,748 It takes at least ten years to get to know yourself well enough to stop being a total idiot. 1173 01:16:21,124 --> 01:16:24,961 It's hard enough without binding yourself to another total idiot. 1174 01:16:25,378 --> 01:16:27,922 Well, what's scary is, when you spend those ten years... 1175 01:16:27,922 --> 01:16:30,508 going after the things you thought were important... 1176 01:16:30,508 --> 01:16:35,138 get those things, and then feel a sneaking suspicion that you went after the wrong things... 1177 01:16:35,138 --> 01:16:38,474 and that where the important things are concerned... 1178 01:16:38,600 --> 01:16:40,852 you're still a total idiot. 1179 01:16:42,186 --> 01:16:44,856 - Can I ask you a question? - Mm-hmm. 1180 01:16:46,441 --> 01:16:48,568 Is my son a good kisser? 1181 01:16:50,236 --> 01:16:52,447 You're in a very good mood. 1182 01:16:52,447 --> 01:16:54,699 I'm usually in a good mood. 1183 01:16:54,782 --> 01:16:57,994 But you're in a particularly good mood right now. 1184 01:16:57,994 --> 01:16:59,954 Okay, yes. Yes, I am. 1185 01:16:59,954 --> 01:17:02,248 I'm in a-- a very good mood. 1186 01:17:03,583 --> 01:17:06,169 Okay. Do you wanna share anything? 1187 01:17:10,882 --> 01:17:13,468 Not quite yet. Maybe soon, though. 1188 01:17:14,135 --> 01:17:15,386 - Really? - Yeah. - Soon? 1189 01:17:15,386 --> 01:17:17,055 - Mm-hmm. - Okay. 1190 01:17:17,055 --> 01:17:19,224 - Well, you let me know, okay? - I will. I will. 1191 01:17:19,224 --> 01:17:21,226 I'll be looking out for that. 1192 01:17:21,226 --> 01:17:24,771 - No, that's what she said-- That's what-- - Ridiculous. 1193 01:17:25,939 --> 01:17:28,691 - I'm so sorry. - Jesus, what happened? 1194 01:17:30,860 --> 01:17:32,320 Nothing. 1195 01:17:32,320 --> 01:17:34,405 Girl talk. We're fine. 1196 01:17:38,326 --> 01:17:41,246 I didn't go into explicit detail, but she knows we weren't holding hands. 1197 01:17:41,246 --> 01:17:44,499 God! I can't believe you did that. We agreed this was between us. 1198 01:17:44,499 --> 01:17:46,876 Jake, I didn't tell her. She figured it out on her own. 1199 01:17:46,876 --> 01:17:50,797 - Well, did you at least try to deny it? - Come on, Jake. She knew! 1200 01:17:51,047 --> 01:17:53,299 Oh. No wonder she was crying. 1201 01:17:53,299 --> 01:17:55,218 You know, I was crying too, all right? 1202 01:17:55,218 --> 01:17:57,887 We had a very nice talk about it, to be honest with you. 1203 01:17:57,887 --> 01:18:00,390 Yes, she was upset, but she was not angry. 1204 01:18:00,390 --> 01:18:02,976 - Yeah, no, that's the face she put on for you. - I don't think so. 1205 01:18:02,976 --> 01:18:04,978 I know, okay? All right? 1206 01:18:04,978 --> 01:18:09,023 I mean, trust me. You have no idea the nightmare that I'm in for now. 1207 01:18:09,148 --> 01:18:13,152 All right, you know what? This is not a nightmare, okay? So stop it. 1208 01:18:13,194 --> 01:18:14,988 Hey, look at me. 1209 01:18:16,531 --> 01:18:18,116 Look at me. 1210 01:18:21,786 --> 01:18:25,164 - I am in love with you, Jake. - Yeah, I love you too. 1211 01:18:25,957 --> 01:18:28,626 No, you are in love with me, you jerk. 1212 01:18:28,626 --> 01:18:31,212 You just won't say it because you're scared of what it involves. 1213 01:18:31,212 --> 01:18:33,548 - Yes, I am. - Yeah, me too. 1214 01:18:33,631 --> 01:18:38,011 But I'm dealing with it because I am overwhelmed by this feeling that I have for you... 1215 01:18:38,011 --> 01:18:39,846 and I want to see if I can work it out. 1216 01:18:39,846 --> 01:18:42,515 - Great. How do I work it out? - Okay. 1217 01:18:42,515 --> 01:18:44,934 Let's just take it from the top. 1218 01:18:45,143 --> 01:18:47,896 Don't talk to me about your mother or your brother or your synagogue. 1219 01:18:47,896 --> 01:18:50,648 Just you. What do you need to work it out? 1220 01:18:50,648 --> 01:18:54,777 Those things are me. Do you understand that? I can't separate them out. 1221 01:18:54,944 --> 01:19:00,450 I mean, it might be hard for you to accept, but the fact that you're not Jewish is a real problem for me. 1222 01:19:00,491 --> 01:19:02,327 I don't think so. 1223 01:19:02,994 --> 01:19:05,121 Okay, okay, okay. A-All I'm saying, Jake... 1224 01:19:05,121 --> 01:19:07,373 is I think you should be honest with yourself. 1225 01:19:07,415 --> 01:19:09,542 Because I think if it was just up to you... 1226 01:19:09,542 --> 01:19:12,253 you would stick with this and see where this relationship is going... 1227 01:19:12,253 --> 01:19:16,758 but it's a problem for you because you assume that all the people in your life can't deal with that. 1228 01:19:16,758 --> 01:19:19,469 - No, they can't. - Well, give them a little credit, Jake. 1229 01:19:19,469 --> 01:19:21,763 - It's the 21st century. - "The 21st century"? 1230 01:19:21,763 --> 01:19:24,390 What the hell does the 21st century have to do with anything? 1231 01:19:24,390 --> 01:19:28,770 This is you and me, right? I thought we were supposed to be just having a good time, keep it simple. 1232 01:19:28,770 --> 01:19:31,898 - Well, that's my point. I'm having fun. - I'm having fun too. 1233 01:19:31,898 --> 01:19:34,150 This is a lot of fun. Whoo! Fun! 1234 01:19:34,150 --> 01:19:36,819 Well, exactly. So why throw it away? 1235 01:19:41,824 --> 01:19:45,245 Look, maybe you're right, but can't you see that you're asking me... 1236 01:19:45,245 --> 01:19:48,206 to risk losing everything that's important to me... 1237 01:19:48,206 --> 01:19:50,250 just to see if we work? 1238 01:19:52,502 --> 01:19:55,213 I mean, I love you, but-- but-- but-- 1239 01:19:55,880 --> 01:20:00,134 we're so different in so many ways that have nothing to do with whether or not you're Jewish. 1240 01:20:00,134 --> 01:20:04,389 - What are you saying? - I'm saying we have totally different priorities. 1241 01:20:04,764 --> 01:20:06,391 Look at your life. 1242 01:20:06,391 --> 01:20:10,562 I don't think there's room in it for what I've spiritually committed to. 1243 01:20:12,272 --> 01:20:14,148 That is so unfair. 1244 01:20:16,568 --> 01:20:19,904 Your faith is a huge part of what I love about you... 1245 01:20:20,989 --> 01:20:23,157 but you have to have some patience for the fact... 1246 01:20:23,157 --> 01:20:27,036 that it doesn't come as easily for most people as it does for you. 1247 01:20:27,704 --> 01:20:31,624 And you know what? You are never going to find the kind of relationship that I know you want... 1248 01:20:31,624 --> 01:20:35,712 and you are never going to be the kind of spiritual leader that you could be... 1249 01:20:35,712 --> 01:20:39,132 until you learn to put a little faith in other people. 1250 01:20:40,758 --> 01:20:42,635 I'm not saying, "Let's get married." 1251 01:20:42,635 --> 01:20:47,181 All I'm saying is that I am in love with you, and I want to give it a real shot. 1252 01:20:47,599 --> 01:20:49,642 That's all I'm saying. 1253 01:20:50,852 --> 01:20:53,021 I don't know what to say. 1254 01:20:53,146 --> 01:20:58,401 How about "I've been waiting for someone like you my whole life, and I'm not gonna let you go"? 1255 01:21:04,741 --> 01:21:06,284 I'm sorry. 1256 01:21:07,952 --> 01:21:13,291 You think you're sorry now. Wait till you realize I just went out that door and I'm not coming back. 1257 01:21:16,628 --> 01:21:19,214 This is my apartment. You get out. 1258 01:21:26,387 --> 01:21:29,182 This is for you. Who's calling at this hour? This is barbaric. 1259 01:21:29,182 --> 01:21:33,353 - I don't know. I'm sorry. - I was dreaming about my mother's sausages. 1260 01:21:34,270 --> 01:21:36,147 - Hello? - Brian? 1261 01:21:36,731 --> 01:21:38,608 Hey, what's wrong? 1262 01:21:39,234 --> 01:21:42,445 I need to talk to you. Can you come over? Please? 1263 01:21:42,737 --> 01:21:45,740 Look-- Don't move, okay? I'll be right over. 1264 01:21:45,782 --> 01:21:48,159 No, I'll be right there. Okay. 1265 01:22:07,011 --> 01:22:08,680 - Hi. - Are you okay? 1266 01:22:08,680 --> 01:22:10,181 Terrific! 1267 01:22:10,640 --> 01:22:12,850 - I came running right over. - I'm sorry. 1268 01:22:12,850 --> 01:22:14,936 I didn't mean to call you so late. 1269 01:22:14,936 --> 01:22:17,897 No, it's fine, it's fine. Don't worry about it. What-- What's going on? What's wrong? 1270 01:22:17,897 --> 01:22:19,691 - Everything. - What do you mean? 1271 01:22:19,691 --> 01:22:21,776 - Me! - What do you mean, you? 1272 01:22:21,776 --> 01:22:24,654 - You-- You're perfect. - I-I am a loser! 1273 01:22:24,988 --> 01:22:27,240 You're a world-beater. What are you talking about? 1274 01:22:27,240 --> 01:22:30,243 - I am a workaholic. - No, you're not. You-- 1275 01:22:31,536 --> 01:22:36,040 Okay, yes, you are, you are, but you're our workaholic, and we're very proud of you. 1276 01:22:36,040 --> 01:22:37,834 - So-- - Brian? 1277 01:22:38,459 --> 01:22:40,545 - What? - You're my friend... 1278 01:22:40,545 --> 01:22:44,215 and if I ask you something, you'll answer me honestly, right? 1279 01:22:44,841 --> 01:22:47,385 Of course I will. You know I will. 1280 01:22:47,677 --> 01:22:50,847 When you look at me, when you look at my life... 1281 01:22:51,014 --> 01:22:55,560 do you say to yourself, "Now there's a girl whose values are all out of whack"? 1282 01:22:56,436 --> 01:22:59,105 No, and certainly not in that voice. 1283 01:22:59,147 --> 01:23:01,107 - Have I got no spirit? - What? 1284 01:23:01,107 --> 01:23:03,359 I don't mean "spirit." I know I'm fun to hang out with. 1285 01:23:03,359 --> 01:23:06,446 But, I mean, does my life seem shallow to you? 1286 01:23:07,780 --> 01:23:10,241 - Am I spiritually empty? - No. 1287 01:23:10,533 --> 01:23:12,660 Are you-- Are you crazy? 1288 01:23:12,702 --> 01:23:17,498 You've got-- You've got more spirit in you than half the goofballs running around in robes out there. 1289 01:23:17,498 --> 01:23:20,501 What-- You're a natural. You radiate. What-- 1290 01:23:21,628 --> 01:23:25,465 Trust me. What-- What's going on here? What's this really about? 1291 01:23:27,425 --> 01:23:30,261 I don't even know where to begin, Brian. 1292 01:23:30,386 --> 01:23:34,515 You're my best friend, and I have been keeping all this stuff from you. 1293 01:23:35,016 --> 01:23:36,935 All these feelings. 1294 01:23:37,268 --> 01:23:41,898 And, um, now, something has happened, and I can't keep it from you any more. I feel bad. 1295 01:23:41,898 --> 01:23:44,150 - No, it's okay. I understand. - No, it's not okay. 1296 01:23:44,150 --> 01:23:46,861 I have some things I have to tell you, and I feel bad. 1297 01:23:46,861 --> 01:23:49,447 I know, me too, me too. I have things I gotta tell you too. 1298 01:23:49,447 --> 01:23:51,532 - But mine are big. - No. - Mine are really bad... 1299 01:23:51,532 --> 01:23:53,326 - No. - and I think I need to get it off because-- 1300 01:23:53,326 --> 01:23:56,788 - Okay. It's okay. - Oh, please, just listen. I don't-- 1301 01:24:00,708 --> 01:24:02,919 - I love you too. - What? 1302 01:24:05,421 --> 01:24:09,551 I love you. That's what you're trying to say, but you're scared because it's me, and so I'm gonna say it first. 1303 01:24:09,551 --> 01:24:10,885 But-- 1304 01:24:13,513 --> 01:24:15,390 - Br-Brian, um-- - No, it's okay. Trust me. 1305 01:24:15,390 --> 01:24:17,433 - Oh, Brian. - Trust me, trust me. 1306 01:24:17,433 --> 01:24:19,060 - We can't fight it. It's too strong. - What? 1307 01:24:19,060 --> 01:24:20,603 It's okay. 1308 01:24:21,646 --> 01:24:23,565 No, Brian, I can't! 1309 01:24:27,318 --> 01:24:29,445 It's the vows, isn't it? 1310 01:24:30,488 --> 01:24:32,949 It's the vows. They make you feel guilty. 1311 01:24:32,949 --> 01:24:37,245 I can't believe it. God, I should have never had that sex talk with you on the bridge that day. 1312 01:24:37,245 --> 01:24:38,538 - I knew it. - No. - I knew it. 1313 01:24:38,538 --> 01:24:42,083 In the back of my head was this little voice saying, "Don't go there. She's--" 1314 01:24:42,083 --> 01:24:43,835 - Brian, you don't understand. - You wanna know something? 1315 01:24:43,835 --> 01:24:47,130 Right now, first time ever, I feel jealous of Jake. 1316 01:24:47,964 --> 01:24:51,384 I envy him, you know, 'cause this would be so easy if I was him. 1317 01:24:51,384 --> 01:24:52,760 - Brian-- - I picked the wrong gig. 1318 01:24:52,760 --> 01:24:55,013 - Brian, let me talk to you. - Come on, come on. Admit it. 1319 01:24:55,013 --> 01:24:58,808 If I wasn't a priest, if I was a rabbi, you could fall in love with me without this guilt. 1320 01:24:58,808 --> 01:25:00,935 - Listen to me! - What? 1321 01:25:02,979 --> 01:25:05,148 I'm in love with a rabbi. 1322 01:25:06,691 --> 01:25:09,193 - Sorry? - I'm in love with Jake. 1323 01:25:10,820 --> 01:25:12,155 Yeah. 1324 01:25:15,533 --> 01:25:18,202 That's what I was trying to tell you. 1325 01:25:20,455 --> 01:25:23,666 I'm-- I'm stunned. I mean, I'm-- I'm-- I'm stunned. 1326 01:25:23,666 --> 01:25:26,169 I'm-- I'm-- I'm paralyzed. What-- 1327 01:25:30,256 --> 01:25:33,176 Excuse me. My mouth just went all dry. I-- 1328 01:25:33,551 --> 01:25:35,094 I can't believe this. 1329 01:25:35,094 --> 01:25:37,680 When-- When did this-- this happen? 1330 01:25:37,931 --> 01:25:40,892 - We've been together since July. - July? Oh! 1331 01:25:42,602 --> 01:25:44,062 Ah. July. 1332 01:25:44,520 --> 01:25:47,523 We knew we should have told you, but we just weren't sure how you'd react... 1333 01:25:47,523 --> 01:25:50,068 and we thought it would be the better choice. 1334 01:25:50,068 --> 01:25:54,906 No, no, no. I'm-- I'm glad you saved it, 'cause it's definitely less weird for me now. 1335 01:25:54,989 --> 01:25:56,699 Brian, could-- 1336 01:25:57,158 --> 01:26:00,787 Brian! Come on. Let's just talk about this. You don't drink. 1337 01:26:00,954 --> 01:26:03,248 Excuse me, but I think in light of recent revelations... 1338 01:26:03,248 --> 01:26:08,294 neither of us is in a position to say what the other one does or does not do with much authority. 1339 01:26:08,294 --> 01:26:10,547 Wouldn't you say? Oh, God! 1340 01:26:12,507 --> 01:26:14,968 You must think I'm such an idiot. 1341 01:26:14,968 --> 01:26:17,303 - No, Brian. - No, no, no. I mean... 1342 01:26:17,303 --> 01:26:18,972 I think I'm an idiot. 1343 01:26:18,972 --> 01:26:21,224 I mean, all these moments with you. 1344 01:26:21,224 --> 01:26:24,561 You know, I've been walking around on a cloud and... 1345 01:26:25,019 --> 01:26:27,855 it's just been reflected glow off of you and Jake. 1346 01:26:27,855 --> 01:26:29,649 That's not true. 1347 01:26:30,692 --> 01:26:32,777 I'm so embarrassed. I-- 1348 01:26:34,320 --> 01:26:37,365 God, talk about a bad case of the third wheel. 1349 01:26:39,117 --> 01:26:41,244 - Oh, Brian. - It's like I'm on some... 1350 01:26:41,244 --> 01:26:43,538 bad new Aaron Spelling show. 1351 01:26:44,497 --> 01:26:46,624 - Melrose Priest. - No. 1352 01:26:46,749 --> 01:26:50,086 I don't-- I don't get this, you know? Why-- Why now? 1353 01:26:50,378 --> 01:26:53,423 Why tell me like this, after months and months of lying? 1354 01:26:53,423 --> 01:26:57,176 Why call me over in the middle of the night and cry to me and-- 1355 01:27:00,763 --> 01:27:03,224 He broke up with you, didn't he? 1356 01:27:06,227 --> 01:27:10,398 That moron broke up with you, and you called your old friend the priest. 1357 01:27:10,690 --> 01:27:13,109 - Well, I-- - No, no, it makes total sense. 1358 01:27:13,109 --> 01:27:14,694 It's just... 1359 01:27:15,236 --> 01:27:18,031 tonight I really didn't want to be one. 1360 01:27:19,490 --> 01:27:21,034 Oh, Brian. 1361 01:28:32,981 --> 01:28:35,483 Yes. Yeah, I've heard about that. 1362 01:28:35,733 --> 01:28:38,361 And my grandfather and my father were both mohels. 1363 01:28:38,361 --> 01:28:41,072 Excuse me, folks. Folks, I'd like to make a toast to the-- 1364 01:28:41,072 --> 01:28:43,866 Rabbi Jacob Schram? Rabbi Jacob Schram? 1365 01:28:46,119 --> 01:28:48,371 Oh, Rabbi Jacob Schram. Oh. 1366 01:28:49,998 --> 01:28:52,041 - Hello. - Excuse me. 1367 01:28:52,250 --> 01:28:55,211 - May I help you? - Yes, you may, may you. I am Father Brian Finn. 1368 01:28:55,211 --> 01:28:58,464 I'm looking for my old friend, Rabbi Jacob Schram. 1369 01:28:58,715 --> 01:29:00,884 - And there he is. - Brian, what's going on? 1370 01:29:00,884 --> 01:29:03,428 Looking smart and breaking hearts as always. 1371 01:29:03,428 --> 01:29:06,306 - Brian, what are you doing here? - Don't smile at me. 1372 01:29:06,306 --> 01:29:08,474 Okay? 'Cause I'm on to you, and I'm in no mood. 1373 01:29:08,474 --> 01:29:10,268 - What's going on here? - Yeah, your jig is so up. 1374 01:29:10,268 --> 01:29:12,562 - Yeah, you're drunk. - I'm not drunk. 1375 01:29:12,562 --> 01:29:14,439 - You're drunk. - I'm not drunk. I'm Irish. - You're very-- 1376 01:29:14,439 --> 01:29:16,774 I'm Irish. This is milk to me, baby. 1377 01:29:16,774 --> 01:29:18,109 - What the hell is going on here? - Milk. 1378 01:29:18,109 --> 01:29:20,194 - It's okay. - It's not okay. 1379 01:29:20,194 --> 01:29:23,323 My best friend has been lying to me for months. 1380 01:29:24,949 --> 01:29:28,328 And he stole my girlfriend on top of it. You wanna explain this? 1381 01:29:28,328 --> 01:29:30,079 - Come here. - No, no, no, no, no. - Did I miss something? 1382 01:29:30,079 --> 01:29:31,623 - Hey, hey, hey! - Did they change the rules? 1383 01:29:31,623 --> 01:29:33,833 Take your hands off of me! 1384 01:29:36,211 --> 01:29:38,338 - What? - Give me that. Give me that! 1385 01:29:38,338 --> 01:29:40,506 - I can't believe you. - You know, you better not lie in here, man. 1386 01:29:40,506 --> 01:29:43,092 This is-- This is the big room. God does not look favorably on it. 1387 01:29:43,092 --> 01:29:45,762 - He has a tendency to throw lightning bolts and things... - All right. 1388 01:29:45,762 --> 01:29:47,639 - at liars! - All right, how did you find out? 1389 01:29:47,639 --> 01:29:51,267 "How'd you find out? How--" Is that the best you can do? 1390 01:29:51,392 --> 01:29:53,478 - How do you think? - Oh, she told you. 1391 01:29:53,478 --> 01:29:55,230 Yeah, when she was crying on my shoulder. 1392 01:29:55,230 --> 01:29:56,940 What did you expect? 1393 01:29:56,940 --> 01:29:59,609 You know, did you think she was just gonna, like, take it on the chin for you... 1394 01:29:59,609 --> 01:30:01,236 after the way you treated her? 1395 01:30:01,236 --> 01:30:04,656 - Oh, hey, hey, wait a minute. - No, you listen to me. 1396 01:30:04,822 --> 01:30:08,034 Anna is very special, okay? She's not like other girls. 1397 01:30:08,034 --> 01:30:11,246 And you said some things to her that I resent on her behalf. 1398 01:30:11,246 --> 01:30:14,249 You can't-- You can't just write her off like one of your dates, Jake. 1399 01:30:14,249 --> 01:30:17,293 - I won't let you do it. - Brian, I'm in love with her! 1400 01:30:17,293 --> 01:30:20,672 Okay? I'm sorry that you found out about it this way. 1401 01:30:21,005 --> 01:30:24,133 It sucks, but the fact is that we have to work it out together. 1402 01:30:24,133 --> 01:30:26,636 - It's between me and her. - No, it was between you and her. 1403 01:30:26,636 --> 01:30:29,055 And then you mucked things up, and now it's between you and me. 1404 01:30:29,055 --> 01:30:32,433 - Why is it between you and me? - Because I love her. 1405 01:30:32,433 --> 01:30:35,103 I know you love her. I love her too. 1406 01:30:35,144 --> 01:30:37,313 No. I'm in love with her. 1407 01:30:40,066 --> 01:30:43,945 - What? - Yeah, it came as quite a shock to her too, believe me. 1408 01:30:48,491 --> 01:30:50,243 You're in love with her? 1409 01:30:50,243 --> 01:30:53,788 No one seems to have picked up on this. It's very strange. 1410 01:30:53,788 --> 01:30:57,458 I-- It's just-- I mean, she's like your sister, Brian. It's-- 1411 01:30:58,042 --> 01:31:01,337 Yes, thank you for adding new depth to my confusion. 1412 01:31:02,630 --> 01:31:06,759 Damn it, Jake, you have a whole city full of women, you know, at your feet. 1413 01:31:06,759 --> 01:31:08,636 You could go out with anyone you want to. 1414 01:31:08,636 --> 01:31:13,683 Why did you have to go and hone in on the first woman I've ever had any real romantic feeling for? 1415 01:31:13,683 --> 01:31:16,394 Oh! Wait a minute! Listen to what you're saying. 1416 01:31:16,394 --> 01:31:19,689 You're telling me that I should have been sensitive to the possibility... 1417 01:31:19,689 --> 01:31:23,109 that a Catholic priest had a crush on my secret girlfriend. 1418 01:31:23,109 --> 01:31:28,281 So what? So what? You know how much I care about her, and you could have guessed it would end up this way. 1419 01:31:28,281 --> 01:31:31,492 - I mean, you know yourself. - I know myself? What does that mean? 1420 01:31:31,492 --> 01:31:34,287 You're always trying to have these casual flings and relationships... 1421 01:31:34,287 --> 01:31:36,873 and it never works because the women always fall in love with you... 1422 01:31:36,873 --> 01:31:40,168 - 'cause you're so smart and funny and cute and yada-yada... - What are-- Hey. Hey! Hey! 1423 01:31:40,168 --> 01:31:42,295 - and you know it! - Hey, don't put this all on me. 1424 01:31:42,295 --> 01:31:45,256 Why? Why? You could have had a fling with anybody, Jake. 1425 01:31:45,256 --> 01:31:49,427 - Why did you have to pull Anna into your bed? - I didn't pull her into my bed. 1426 01:31:49,427 --> 01:31:51,137 I don't want to hear that. I don't believe that. 1427 01:31:51,137 --> 01:31:54,974 Sorry. It's the truth. She's a woman. She's not the Virgin Mary! 1428 01:31:57,393 --> 01:31:58,645 Ow! 1429 01:32:10,865 --> 01:32:13,201 Um, let me get this straight. 1430 01:32:13,493 --> 01:32:15,745 I am talking to a priest... 1431 01:32:17,080 --> 01:32:20,583 who went on a bender because his best friend, a rabbi... 1432 01:32:21,543 --> 01:32:23,294 stole his girl. 1433 01:32:23,294 --> 01:32:24,671 Right. 1434 01:32:25,838 --> 01:32:27,340 Thank you. 1435 01:32:27,757 --> 01:32:30,802 I want to thank you for telling me this story. 1436 01:32:31,302 --> 01:32:33,888 - Why? - Because now I can retire. 1437 01:32:34,681 --> 01:32:38,393 You have to give me advice. That's what this is supposed to be about. 1438 01:32:38,393 --> 01:32:40,562 Oh, God. What do I know? 1439 01:32:41,104 --> 01:32:43,273 I'm a ha If Punjabi Sikh... 1440 01:32:43,273 --> 01:32:45,608 one-quarter Tamil separatist. 1441 01:32:45,650 --> 01:32:49,112 My sister's married to a Jewish doctor from New Jersey... 1442 01:32:49,237 --> 01:32:51,406 and our other grandmother... 1443 01:32:51,406 --> 01:32:55,326 was an Irish nun who left me this bar, which is a very long story. 1444 01:32:58,288 --> 01:33:01,499 You're a Sikh Catholic Muslim with Jewish in-laws? 1445 01:33:01,541 --> 01:33:03,042 Yes. Yes. 1446 01:33:04,294 --> 01:33:06,462 It gets very complicated. 1447 01:33:06,504 --> 01:33:08,548 I'm reading Dianetics. 1448 01:33:09,841 --> 01:33:11,718 I don't blame you. 1449 01:33:15,638 --> 01:33:17,432 I thank you for listening to me. 1450 01:33:17,432 --> 01:33:20,393 I feel like I should ask you for my penance. 1451 01:33:20,393 --> 01:33:22,854 I don't do penance. I do shots. 1452 01:33:35,825 --> 01:33:38,036 I'll tell you what I know. 1453 01:33:38,536 --> 01:33:40,914 May those who love us love us. 1454 01:33:41,581 --> 01:33:43,917 And those who don't love us... 1455 01:33:43,917 --> 01:33:46,127 may God turn their hearts. 1456 01:33:46,461 --> 01:33:49,130 And if He cannot turn their hearts... 1457 01:33:49,339 --> 01:33:51,591 may He turn their ankles... 1458 01:33:51,883 --> 01:33:54,802 so that we may know them by their limping. 1459 01:34:13,071 --> 01:34:14,948 I'll tell you why l 1460 01:34:16,491 --> 01:34:18,826 Don't wanna know where you are 1461 01:34:20,078 --> 01:34:21,871 I got a joke I been 1462 01:34:23,456 --> 01:34:25,250 Dying to tell you 1463 01:34:26,793 --> 01:34:28,836 A silent kidis looking 1464 01:34:30,421 --> 01:34:32,173 Down the barrel 1465 01:34:33,883 --> 01:34:36,553 To make the noise that I kept so quiet 1466 01:34:40,848 --> 01:34:43,017 Kept it from you, pitseleh 1467 01:34:54,028 --> 01:34:55,613 Anna? Anna? 1468 01:34:57,115 --> 01:34:59,576 - Hmm. - I'm not what's missing 1469 01:35:01,202 --> 01:35:02,996 From your life now 1470 01:35:04,789 --> 01:35:07,166 I could never be the puzzle pieces 1471 01:35:11,546 --> 01:35:13,882 They say that God makes problems 1472 01:35:15,133 --> 01:35:17,468 Just to see what you can stand 1473 01:35:18,636 --> 01:35:21,139 Before you do as the devil pleases 1474 01:35:25,643 --> 01:35:27,812 Give up the thing you love 1475 01:35:30,440 --> 01:35:32,692 Hey, Brian. It's me again. 1476 01:35:34,319 --> 01:35:36,279 Please call me, okay, Finn? 1477 01:35:36,279 --> 01:35:38,781 Brian, call Anna. Please to call. 1478 01:35:39,949 --> 01:35:43,036 Seriously. I really wanna talk to you, okay? Bye. 1479 01:35:52,921 --> 01:35:56,216 I remember I fell in love with this girl in Prague. 1480 01:35:56,424 --> 01:35:58,092 Was in 1968. 1481 01:35:59,802 --> 01:36:02,472 She was beautiful. She looked like Carole Lombard. 1482 01:36:02,472 --> 01:36:05,850 She grabbed me. It was in the alley behind my church. 1483 01:36:05,850 --> 01:36:08,978 She pressed me against the wall. She kissed me. 1484 01:36:10,396 --> 01:36:13,441 I felt like Richard Chamberlain in The Thorn Birds, you know... 1485 01:36:13,441 --> 01:36:15,568 in the barn with Maggie. 1486 01:36:16,361 --> 01:36:18,613 I was so happy I could die. 1487 01:36:21,157 --> 01:36:24,035 You've never told me this. What-- Did anything happen between you? 1488 01:36:24,035 --> 01:36:25,620 Not really. 1489 01:36:26,246 --> 01:36:28,498 Flirtations, little moments... 1490 01:36:28,498 --> 01:36:31,459 but then soon after the Russians invaded Czechoslovakia... 1491 01:36:31,459 --> 01:36:34,003 and I moved to the United States. 1492 01:36:38,841 --> 01:36:41,553 I don't know. I'll tell you something. 1493 01:36:41,553 --> 01:36:43,805 If she had kissed me back... 1494 01:36:44,097 --> 01:36:47,100 I don't think I'd be sitting here right now. 1495 01:36:48,101 --> 01:36:50,436 I would have given it all up. 1496 01:36:51,896 --> 01:36:54,065 I mean, she didn't, but-- 1497 01:36:54,774 --> 01:36:57,277 I don't know. I just-- I keep thinking about what you said in the seminary... 1498 01:36:57,277 --> 01:37:00,572 about how, you know, the life of a priest is hard... 1499 01:37:00,780 --> 01:37:04,826 and if-- and if you can see yourself being happy doing anything else... 1500 01:37:04,826 --> 01:37:06,744 you should do that. 1501 01:37:07,954 --> 01:37:10,331 Well-- Well, that was my recruitment pitch... 1502 01:37:10,331 --> 01:37:12,417 which is not bad when you are starting out... 1503 01:37:12,417 --> 01:37:15,378 because makes you feel like, like a marine. 1504 01:37:19,048 --> 01:37:20,800 The truth is... 1505 01:37:20,842 --> 01:37:24,888 you can never tell yourself that there is only one thing you could be. 1506 01:37:25,597 --> 01:37:28,558 If you're a priest or if you marry a woman... 1507 01:37:29,267 --> 01:37:31,394 it's the same challenge. 1508 01:37:32,270 --> 01:37:34,939 You cannot make a real commitment... 1509 01:37:35,982 --> 01:37:38,776 unless you accept that it's a choice... 1510 01:37:40,528 --> 01:37:43,656 that you keep making again and again and again. 1511 01:37:46,576 --> 01:37:49,204 I've been a priest over 40 years... 1512 01:37:49,662 --> 01:37:52,749 and I fell in love at least once every decade. 1513 01:37:54,792 --> 01:37:58,046 You're not gonna tell me what to do here, are you? 1514 01:37:58,213 --> 01:38:00,798 No. God will give you your answer. 1515 01:38:15,146 --> 01:38:16,439 Hey. 1516 01:38:17,106 --> 01:38:19,234 - Hey. - How you doin'? 1517 01:38:22,987 --> 01:38:24,781 Well, what's up? 1518 01:38:25,615 --> 01:38:28,326 - Well, I know you're probably still mad at me-- - "Probably"? 1519 01:38:28,326 --> 01:38:31,371 No, I'm definitely, definitely still mad, you know? 1520 01:38:31,371 --> 01:38:33,456 - Okay-- - I hope you didn't think you were just gonna stroll over here... 1521 01:38:33,456 --> 01:38:35,583 after a couple of weeks and find me in a good mood or something. 1522 01:38:35,583 --> 01:38:37,835 No. I just said, "I know you're probably still mad at me." 1523 01:38:37,835 --> 01:38:40,046 Yeah, well, what do you expect, you know? 1524 01:38:40,046 --> 01:38:42,173 I mean-- I mean, you should have just told me. 1525 01:38:42,173 --> 01:38:44,842 You should have just told me, 'cause I'd have said, "No," and I'd have been jealous... 1526 01:38:44,842 --> 01:38:49,013 and told you it was gonna muck everything up, but at least we'd still have been friends. 1527 01:38:49,013 --> 01:38:51,683 We're still friends. Jesus, I hope we're still friends. 1528 01:38:51,683 --> 01:38:53,434 We-Well, friends don't lie to each other... 1529 01:38:53,434 --> 01:38:56,271 - and set each other up to be humiliated like that, Jake. - All right. 1530 01:38:56,271 --> 01:38:57,730 All right. Well, that's why I'm here. 1531 01:38:57,730 --> 01:39:01,276 That's why I wanted to, uh, apologize, if you let me talk for a second. 1532 01:39:01,276 --> 01:39:04,028 Well, uh, I wanna talk, you know? I-I've got all these things on my mind. 1533 01:39:04,028 --> 01:39:05,154 - Okay. - I wanna vent a little. - So talk! 1534 01:39:05,154 --> 01:39:06,281 - Let me vent. - Vent! 1535 01:39:06,281 --> 01:39:08,700 Come on. Vent. Go ahead. Vent. 1536 01:39:10,159 --> 01:39:11,494 Okay. 1537 01:39:14,414 --> 01:39:16,958 Well, now I lost my momentum. So, so go ahead. 1538 01:39:16,958 --> 01:39:19,961 S-- Well, say-- What do you wanna say? What? 1539 01:39:21,296 --> 01:39:25,258 I wanted to say that I think I handled things really badly and I'm sorry. 1540 01:39:25,258 --> 01:39:28,720 You're my best friend, and would you please forgive me? 1541 01:39:31,222 --> 01:39:34,309 - That was very simple and direct. - Thank you. 1542 01:39:35,518 --> 01:39:37,687 You know, you're lucky I am a priest... 1543 01:39:37,687 --> 01:39:40,607 'cause forgiveness kind of comes with the job description. 1544 01:39:40,607 --> 01:39:42,859 Well, you're a good priest. 1545 01:39:47,864 --> 01:39:49,949 I got something for you. 1546 01:39:50,200 --> 01:39:54,120 I almost didn't 'cause I was so mad at you, but this was too good. 1547 01:39:55,914 --> 01:39:59,209 Holy shit. That's the Rabbi Schlomo Schnurson rookie card. 1548 01:39:59,209 --> 01:40:02,921 - This is like the last of the series. - I know. You've been talking about this card for, like, 15 years. 1549 01:40:02,921 --> 01:40:04,714 - It's in such good condition too. - Yeah, it's mint. 1550 01:40:04,714 --> 01:40:07,592 - This is like-- - Mint. I had to get it. 1551 01:40:08,426 --> 01:40:09,802 Brian! 1552 01:40:13,640 --> 01:40:15,141 Thank you. 1553 01:40:15,808 --> 01:40:17,810 Well, you're welcome. 1554 01:40:21,272 --> 01:40:24,400 You know, look. As pissed off as I was, the weird thing is... 1555 01:40:24,400 --> 01:40:28,238 I-I'm very sorry I didn't get to see you two together, you know? 1556 01:40:29,322 --> 01:40:32,575 I think that would have made me really happy in some weird way. 1557 01:40:32,575 --> 01:40:34,869 - So, have you talked to her? - No, no. 1558 01:40:34,869 --> 01:40:38,248 I mean, things are really strange between us now. I-- 1559 01:40:41,209 --> 01:40:44,337 What about you? Are you guys talkin'? Are you workin' this out or anything? 1560 01:40:44,337 --> 01:40:45,755 No. No. 1561 01:40:47,298 --> 01:40:51,052 But that's kind of offset by the fact that I'm about to lose my job. 1562 01:40:51,052 --> 01:40:52,887 - You serious? - Uh-huh. 1563 01:40:52,887 --> 01:40:55,265 Whew. What a mess. I'm sorry. 1564 01:40:58,851 --> 01:41:02,230 Man, I was really starting to think I had a few things figured out there. 1565 01:41:02,230 --> 01:41:03,898 Yeah, me too. 1566 01:41:04,857 --> 01:41:06,568 What happened? 1567 01:41:15,201 --> 01:41:16,452 Hi. 1568 01:41:16,953 --> 01:41:19,289 Excuse me if I say that I don't think I'm the person... 1569 01:41:19,289 --> 01:41:22,792 to offer objective advice on this particular confession. 1570 01:41:24,002 --> 01:41:25,378 Brian. 1571 01:41:26,588 --> 01:41:27,964 Brian. 1572 01:41:30,174 --> 01:41:33,678 You don't have to say anything, okay? Just listen to me. 1573 01:41:34,178 --> 01:41:37,599 I just want to say one thing, and then I will go away. 1574 01:41:38,850 --> 01:41:40,310 You're my friend... 1575 01:41:40,310 --> 01:41:42,770 and whatever else is going on... 1576 01:41:43,479 --> 01:41:46,524 I can't have you out there thinking that my feelings for you... 1577 01:41:46,524 --> 01:41:48,985 are tied in to my feelings for Jake. 1578 01:41:48,985 --> 01:41:51,821 That's not the problem, and you know it. 1579 01:41:56,034 --> 01:41:58,161 I thought you wanted me. 1580 01:41:59,704 --> 01:42:01,956 And-- And that affected me. 1581 01:42:04,709 --> 01:42:08,671 I don't know. I-I-- Maybe that's not fair, and I'm reading all kinds of things wrong... 1582 01:42:08,671 --> 01:42:11,132 but it sure felt that way to me. 1583 01:42:19,724 --> 01:42:21,893 I don't know what to say. 1584 01:42:23,269 --> 01:42:24,687 I, um-- 1585 01:42:27,357 --> 01:42:30,193 I've just been having so much fun, and... 1586 01:42:32,070 --> 01:42:34,864 I've been feeling all of these feelings lately... 1587 01:42:34,864 --> 01:42:37,367 and not just my feelings for Jake. 1588 01:42:38,326 --> 01:42:39,911 But this... 1589 01:42:41,746 --> 01:42:43,748 reconnecting with this part of myself... 1590 01:42:43,748 --> 01:42:46,584 that has been shut down for a long time. 1591 01:42:47,418 --> 01:42:50,338 And if I indulge those feelings too much with you... 1592 01:42:50,338 --> 01:42:53,299 or if I took you for granted, I am so sorry. 1593 01:42:56,010 --> 01:42:58,346 I can't bear that I hurt you. 1594 01:43:01,766 --> 01:43:03,893 Ah, it's not your fault. 1595 01:43:04,811 --> 01:43:07,313 I totally set myself up for this. 1596 01:43:08,815 --> 01:43:11,192 I'll tell you something, it's-- I don't know which feels worse. 1597 01:43:11,192 --> 01:43:13,194 Having my heart broken... 1598 01:43:13,194 --> 01:43:16,656 or starting to doubt myself because of what that means for me. 1599 01:43:16,656 --> 01:43:19,033 Don't you dare doubt yourself. 1600 01:43:19,367 --> 01:43:21,953 You have a gift, and you know it... 1601 01:43:21,953 --> 01:43:23,872 and if you start to doubt that because of me... 1602 01:43:23,872 --> 01:43:26,708 Brian, I don't know what I would do with myself. 1603 01:43:26,708 --> 01:43:28,585 I don't doubt myself because of you. 1604 01:43:28,585 --> 01:43:31,129 I-I feel like the best version of myself around you... 1605 01:43:31,129 --> 01:43:33,965 and that makes me doubt everything else. 1606 01:43:36,926 --> 01:43:41,222 I don't know what to do, Brian. Just tell me what to do, and I will do it. 1607 01:44:00,366 --> 01:44:04,370 Is it me, or is confession getting a little touchy-feely these days? 1608 01:44:10,627 --> 01:44:12,587 - Thank you. - Okay. 1609 01:44:12,629 --> 01:44:15,173 All right, the lights are workin', cameras came... 1610 01:44:15,173 --> 01:44:17,175 chairs are all set up the way we want 'em now. 1611 01:44:17,175 --> 01:44:20,720 Okay, I sent the invitations out yesterday. We've got the karaoke machine. 1612 01:44:20,720 --> 01:44:23,848 - Oh, no, no. - What? - We need the discs for the karaoke. 1613 01:44:23,848 --> 01:44:26,017 I-- We-- I have to call Don. I'll do it when I get home. 1614 01:44:26,017 --> 01:44:28,603 Well, that's all right. Do it now. 1615 01:44:28,811 --> 01:44:31,105 Excuse me. Wh-What is that? 1616 01:44:31,397 --> 01:44:33,107 - It's a cell phone. - Since when? 1617 01:44:33,107 --> 01:44:36,277 Since Anna gave it to me. Look. She put God on the speed dial. 1618 01:44:36,277 --> 01:44:39,322 I called it. It was the Elvis Presley Museum. 1619 01:44:41,866 --> 01:44:44,494 Look, I-- I'm sorry. I have to say this. 1620 01:44:44,494 --> 01:44:46,704 You know she's leaving next week, right? You do know that? 1621 01:44:46,704 --> 01:44:49,541 - Yeah. Yeah. - Okay. I'm just checking. 1622 01:44:50,416 --> 01:44:53,169 - You guys have been talking? - Yeah, yeah. I-- We had a good talk. 1623 01:44:53,169 --> 01:44:54,796 - We sort of worked it out. - That's good. 1624 01:44:54,796 --> 01:44:57,173 - It's okay. - Good. - Yeah. 1625 01:44:57,423 --> 01:44:59,676 - Good. - It's so obvious you're thinking about her. 1626 01:44:59,676 --> 01:45:01,761 - Are you sure you don't want to talk about this? - Yes, I don't! 1627 01:45:01,761 --> 01:45:04,013 - It's weird to me. We haven't talked about this. - Am I asking you? 1628 01:45:04,013 --> 01:45:06,558 I don't want to talk about it. I would talk about it if I wanted to talk about it. 1629 01:45:06,558 --> 01:45:07,892 Okay. 1630 01:45:09,227 --> 01:45:11,312 - I just think that she's leaving next week. - Brian, I know. 1631 01:45:11,312 --> 01:45:14,691 - So if you're gonna deal with this, you'd better do it soon. - What do you want me to do? It's not-- 1632 01:45:14,691 --> 01:45:16,526 Oh. Rabbi Schram. 1633 01:45:19,237 --> 01:45:20,572 What? 1634 01:45:21,030 --> 01:45:24,450 - Excuse me. I'm looking for Ruth Schram. - Dr Marks. 1635 01:45:24,450 --> 01:45:26,578 - What happened? - Your mother collapsed. 1636 01:45:26,578 --> 01:45:29,998 - She suffered a transient ischemic attack. - A what? 1637 01:45:30,456 --> 01:45:32,458 It's an almost stroke. 1638 01:45:32,458 --> 01:45:34,919 An-- What does-- What does that mean, "almost stroke"? What are-- What are you talking about? 1639 01:45:34,919 --> 01:45:37,422 - She had a temporary blockage of blood to her brain. - Is she all right? 1640 01:45:37,422 --> 01:45:41,467 Bring me my Obsession perfume, a couple of macaroons and my computer. 1641 01:45:42,594 --> 01:45:45,179 - I gotta get some E-mailing done. - Mom, I'm not gonna bring your computer. 1642 01:45:45,179 --> 01:45:49,225 - You gotta rest, okay? The doctor said two days-- - Two days? Get outta here! 1643 01:45:49,225 --> 01:45:54,230 If I have to stay here for two days, I'll give them an ischemic wh-whatever the hell I had. 1644 01:45:57,984 --> 01:46:00,945 I assume your brother knows all about this. 1645 01:46:03,156 --> 01:46:05,575 Yeah, he's, um, he's stuck in the Hamptons... 1646 01:46:05,575 --> 01:46:07,827 but he's-- he's checking in and, and-- 1647 01:46:07,827 --> 01:46:11,456 Yeah. Okay. Well, doesn't matter. I'll be home by tomorrow. 1648 01:46:12,332 --> 01:46:14,459 Thanks, guys, for being so dutiful. 1649 01:46:14,459 --> 01:46:16,336 It's our pleasure. 1650 01:46:16,628 --> 01:46:18,838 So where's the third Musketeer, Miss Reilly? 1651 01:46:18,838 --> 01:46:20,715 Hmm? Workin' hard? 1652 01:46:25,595 --> 01:46:29,098 - What? - You know what? Um, I-- I need a cup of coffee. 1653 01:46:29,682 --> 01:46:31,768 - I'll get it. - No, that's okay. I'm gonna get it. 1654 01:46:31,768 --> 01:46:33,853 You guys stay and talk. 1655 01:46:38,566 --> 01:46:42,028 - What happened? - Look, Mom, I don't want you to worry about this, okay? 1656 01:46:42,028 --> 01:46:46,074 - Everything's gonna be fine. I've dealt with it. - "Dealt with it"? You dealt with what? 1657 01:46:46,074 --> 01:46:48,952 I dealt with it. It's over, and I don't-- 1658 01:46:49,410 --> 01:46:51,663 - I wanna talk to you about this. - No, we don't have to talk about it. 1659 01:46:51,663 --> 01:46:53,831 - I wanna talk to you about this! - I think you should rest. 1660 01:46:53,831 --> 01:46:55,875 - There's-- There's nothing to talk about. - Yes, there is. 1661 01:46:55,875 --> 01:46:58,294 - No, there isn't. - There is. 1662 01:47:00,964 --> 01:47:02,757 Sit back. Relax. 1663 01:47:03,925 --> 01:47:06,803 Listen to me. There's a reason why your brother isn't here. 1664 01:47:06,803 --> 01:47:08,805 - Yeah, I know, I know. - No, you don't know. - No, I know... 1665 01:47:08,805 --> 01:47:10,557 - No, you don't. - and I'm not gonna let that happen again. 1666 01:47:10,557 --> 01:47:12,308 You don't know! 1667 01:47:16,813 --> 01:47:18,648 I made a mistake. 1668 01:47:23,736 --> 01:47:27,240 It's true, he's punishing me a little too much for it... 1669 01:47:27,532 --> 01:47:29,492 but it was my fault. 1670 01:47:32,787 --> 01:47:35,415 It's hard to see your son as a man. 1671 01:47:39,836 --> 01:47:42,088 I couldn't do that for him. 1672 01:47:43,965 --> 01:47:47,802 You're a man, Jake. You're a good man. I did a good job with you. 1673 01:47:51,806 --> 01:47:55,226 Make your own decisions about what's important to you. 1674 01:47:56,352 --> 01:47:58,771 I'm proud of you no matter what. 1675 01:47:59,522 --> 01:48:00,815 Mom. 1676 01:48:03,318 --> 01:48:04,903 I love you. 1677 01:48:07,614 --> 01:48:09,115 Thank you. 1678 01:48:42,523 --> 01:48:43,900 Rabbi. 1679 01:48:45,318 --> 01:48:46,694 Larry. 1680 01:48:48,571 --> 01:48:50,406 How's your mother, Jake? 1681 01:48:50,406 --> 01:48:52,617 She's good. She's, uh-- She's actually here tonight. 1682 01:48:52,617 --> 01:48:54,619 Oh. That's wonderful. 1683 01:48:55,119 --> 01:48:57,664 So I suppose you have your speech all prepared. 1684 01:48:57,664 --> 01:48:59,707 - Yeah. - Yeah. Good. 1685 01:49:00,708 --> 01:49:03,628 Good. Then you'll go out with a bang, huh? 1686 01:49:38,413 --> 01:49:39,831 Shalom. 1687 01:49:46,421 --> 01:49:48,548 Since, uh, Yom Kippur... 1688 01:49:48,590 --> 01:49:52,010 is kind of like the Super Bowl of the Jewish calendar... 1689 01:49:52,927 --> 01:49:55,805 most rabbis try to cram a whole year's... 1690 01:49:57,724 --> 01:50:01,227 worth of sermons into one kind of big "best of" sermon. 1691 01:50:02,228 --> 01:50:04,772 Um, I'm not gonna do that tonight. 1692 01:50:05,815 --> 01:50:08,026 I'm not gonna talk about the meaning of God... 1693 01:50:08,026 --> 01:50:10,361 or the situation in Israel... 1694 01:50:11,237 --> 01:50:13,907 or the status of Jews around the world. 1695 01:50:13,907 --> 01:50:17,660 I'm-- I'd like to talk about something a little more personal. 1696 01:50:18,244 --> 01:50:20,455 I'd like to talk about us. 1697 01:50:20,747 --> 01:50:22,874 The status of you and me. 1698 01:50:26,419 --> 01:50:29,839 A wise man once told me that no rabbi can save anyone. 1699 01:50:32,967 --> 01:50:36,638 He can only offer himself as a guide to other fearful people. 1700 01:50:39,515 --> 01:50:42,143 We live in a really complex world... 1701 01:50:42,644 --> 01:50:46,189 a world where boundaries and definitions are blurring... 1702 01:50:46,481 --> 01:50:49,442 and bleeding into each other in ways that-- 1703 01:50:49,484 --> 01:50:53,196 that I think challenge us not just as Jews but as human beings. 1704 01:50:54,906 --> 01:50:58,117 And for a while now, you've let me be your guide. 1705 01:50:58,785 --> 01:51:00,411 You've, uh-- 1706 01:51:01,663 --> 01:51:04,165 You've shared your lives with me. 1707 01:51:04,958 --> 01:51:07,418 You've explored your faith with me... 1708 01:51:07,418 --> 01:51:10,755 in ways that I know sometimes have seemed a little strange... 1709 01:51:10,755 --> 01:51:13,466 and, and maybe even a little scary... 1710 01:51:14,050 --> 01:51:16,469 but you put your trust in me... 1711 01:51:17,178 --> 01:51:19,597 and over the past few months... 1712 01:51:20,640 --> 01:51:23,142 I have been violating that trust. 1713 01:51:24,561 --> 01:51:28,690 I've been violating it because I haven't been sharing my life with you. 1714 01:51:30,483 --> 01:51:34,362 For a number of months, I've been seeing a woman who isn't Jewish. 1715 01:51:38,783 --> 01:51:43,246 It doesn't matter if I'm still with her, which I'm not, or if I still love her, which I do, very much. 1716 01:51:43,246 --> 01:51:47,458 What matters is that I shouldn't have been afraid to discuss it with you. 1717 01:51:52,088 --> 01:51:54,424 I'm not sorry for loving her. 1718 01:51:56,426 --> 01:52:00,305 I am sorry-- I'm very sorry-- that I put too little faith in you. 1719 01:52:06,603 --> 01:52:09,188 Yom Kippur is the day of atonement. 1720 01:52:11,399 --> 01:52:14,068 And so tonight I stand before you... 1721 01:52:17,447 --> 01:52:19,616 and ask you to forgive me. 1722 01:52:38,343 --> 01:52:41,095 This could take a while, Jake. Go home. 1723 01:52:41,512 --> 01:52:44,933 I-I'll call you as soon as the board makes a decision. 1724 01:52:48,269 --> 01:52:50,688 Or you could stick around. Okay? 1725 01:53:15,880 --> 01:53:17,715 Come on. Come on. 1726 01:53:19,217 --> 01:53:21,594 - Yes? - Yes. - Yes! Oh! Oh! 1727 01:53:22,804 --> 01:53:26,224 - God, don't mess with me like that, you-- - Well, I couldn't-- 1728 01:53:26,224 --> 01:53:27,809 Oh. Oh. Oh! 1729 01:53:28,810 --> 01:53:31,312 It's so fantastic. A made rabbi. 1730 01:53:31,312 --> 01:53:33,481 - How does it feel? - Feels good. 1731 01:53:33,481 --> 01:53:35,900 God. You know, we got a lot to celebrate tonight... 1732 01:53:35,900 --> 01:53:38,403 barring an interfaith rumble at our opening. 1733 01:53:38,403 --> 01:53:40,154 I know. It's definitely Manischewitz time. 1734 01:53:40,154 --> 01:53:42,240 Hey, we got two cases delivered, by the way. 1735 01:53:42,240 --> 01:53:44,701 Oh! Did you, uh, get the discs from Don? 1736 01:53:44,742 --> 01:53:48,830 No, I'm going to. Don't worry, but, look, not to rain on your parade... 1737 01:53:48,830 --> 01:53:52,041 - I just-- I had to go and say goodbye to Anna 'cause she's leaving tonight... - Oh. 1738 01:53:52,041 --> 01:53:55,378 - which I know you know and don't want to talk about, but there it is, you know? - Yeah, I don't. There what is? 1739 01:53:55,378 --> 01:53:57,338 Come on! Come on, man. What are you doing? 1740 01:53:57,338 --> 01:53:59,591 What do you want me to do, flagellate myself? 1741 01:53:59,591 --> 01:54:02,427 Jews don't do that. We-- We plant trees. 1742 01:54:02,427 --> 01:54:04,012 Listen, who's talking about feeling guilty? 1743 01:54:04,012 --> 01:54:05,930 I'm-- I'm-- I'm saying, you know, you're-- 1744 01:54:05,930 --> 01:54:09,309 I just think you'd want to do something about it. You're on such a roll right now. What-- 1745 01:54:09,309 --> 01:54:12,353 What could possibly be holding you back at this point? 1746 01:54:12,353 --> 01:54:14,522 Y-You do love her, don't you? 1747 01:54:14,522 --> 01:54:16,858 Yes, I do. I just-- I just-- 1748 01:54:17,317 --> 01:54:19,360 I mean, come on. Sometimes that's not enough, all right? 1749 01:54:19,360 --> 01:54:21,821 Not-- What are-- Listen to what you're saying! "Not enough"? 1750 01:54:21,821 --> 01:54:26,284 There-- There's nothing else that's worth anything against that, and you know it. 1751 01:54:26,284 --> 01:54:28,661 I mean, for years I have listened to you-- to you talk about... 1752 01:54:28,661 --> 01:54:31,623 how much you want something exactly like this to happen to you... 1753 01:54:31,623 --> 01:54:36,544 and-- and when it comes, you-- you walk away from it over a few very minor complications. 1754 01:54:36,794 --> 01:54:40,215 Now, what-- What kind of a plan is that? You-- You know how God works. 1755 01:54:40,215 --> 01:54:43,760 Well, you think He's just gonna drop a gift like that in your lap a second time around... 1756 01:54:43,760 --> 01:54:46,763 just 'cause you happen to be one of His crew, you know? 1757 01:54:46,763 --> 01:54:49,098 Seriously. Look at me. I'm-- 1758 01:54:49,515 --> 01:54:53,770 I'm your friend, and I'm telling you, you are making this too complicated. 1759 01:54:53,811 --> 01:54:56,356 It's a very simple situation. You're in love with her. 1760 01:54:56,356 --> 01:55:00,109 She's in love with you, and she is leaving in about two hours. 1761 01:55:00,318 --> 01:55:05,073 You need to ask yourself a simple question. Are you gonna do anything about it or not? 1762 01:55:08,368 --> 01:55:10,870 What the-- Why are you standing here? 1763 01:55:10,870 --> 01:55:13,873 Oh, my God. You're right. What am I doing? What am I doing standing here? 1764 01:55:13,873 --> 01:55:15,833 Sign hasn't changed. 1765 01:55:16,584 --> 01:55:18,920 - Oh, my God. - This is New York City. Who waits for a sign? 1766 01:55:18,920 --> 01:55:22,966 What-- Cross the damn street! What, do we all need signs to tell us what to do now? 1767 01:55:22,966 --> 01:55:24,384 - Come on! Cross the street! Don't wait. - Brian, Brian, Brian. I gotta go. 1768 01:55:24,384 --> 01:55:26,344 - I gotta-- I gotta go! - Yes! Go. 1769 01:55:26,344 --> 01:55:28,596 - Go! - Brian, thank you! - What happened to free will? 1770 01:55:28,596 --> 01:55:30,723 - Thanks! - The power of human agency? Get across the street. 1771 01:55:30,723 --> 01:55:34,060 That's right. Go. Go! Go. Go forth and, and prosper. 1772 01:55:40,775 --> 01:55:45,113 - Excuse me, sir. May I help you? - Yeah. Hey, T-Bone. I gotta go see Anna. 1773 01:55:51,119 --> 01:55:52,829 Oh, good! Yea! 1774 01:55:58,668 --> 01:56:00,795 I'm sorry, sir. There's no answer at her office. 1775 01:56:00,795 --> 01:56:04,173 T-Bone. T-Bone, look at me. Look at me. Don't you recognize my face? 1776 01:56:04,173 --> 01:56:06,676 - It's Jake. - What is this in reference to? 1777 01:56:06,676 --> 01:56:09,971 It's not in reference to anything. I'm just-- It's-- 1778 01:56:09,971 --> 01:56:12,640 Look, do me a favour. This is a very, very important thing to me. 1779 01:56:12,640 --> 01:56:16,519 It's personal. If you could just go up there, tell anybody that Jake Schram is here. 1780 01:56:16,519 --> 01:56:18,980 - Okay? - I'm afraid I can't do that, sir. 1781 01:56:18,980 --> 01:56:21,149 Oh, man, help me out. Come on. Come on. 1782 01:56:21,149 --> 01:56:23,151 Just two guys, "T." 1783 01:56:24,152 --> 01:56:25,987 Take me with you. 1784 01:56:26,821 --> 01:56:29,073 I really would, but I don't know where I'm going yet. 1785 01:56:29,073 --> 01:56:30,742 What are you talking about? 1786 01:56:30,742 --> 01:56:34,996 You're going to San Francisco to run the world and lead the exciting life. 1787 01:56:35,330 --> 01:56:39,959 Well, don't tell anybody, but I think I need to take a break from this exciting life. 1788 01:56:39,959 --> 01:56:42,045 - Really? - Yeah, I do. 1789 01:56:42,045 --> 01:56:45,506 So what are you packing there? Something like 280, 290? 1790 01:56:46,132 --> 01:56:48,009 - 320. - Oh, 320. 1791 01:56:51,137 --> 01:56:52,472 Whoa! 1792 01:57:05,652 --> 01:57:07,487 Okay. Okay. Okay. 1793 01:57:08,738 --> 01:57:10,448 - All right. - Next time, sir... - Ow! 1794 01:57:10,448 --> 01:57:13,368 - I suggest you make an appointment. - Ow! 1795 01:57:26,589 --> 01:57:29,926 Hey, hey. No seriously. Seriously. A toast. A toast. 1796 01:57:30,718 --> 01:57:32,595 To Anna. To Anna. 1797 01:57:32,637 --> 01:57:34,222 Hear! Hear! 1798 01:57:35,223 --> 01:57:38,518 - Thank you. I'm gonna miss you guys. - Yeah, right. 1799 01:57:38,685 --> 01:57:41,896 No, really, I'm-- I'm gonna miss a lot of things around here. 1800 01:57:41,896 --> 01:57:44,899 Like Len's endless Howard Stern recountings. 1801 01:57:45,608 --> 01:57:49,529 And, of course, I'm gonna miss my Romeo Casanova boy across the way. 1802 01:57:49,529 --> 01:57:51,865 - Hey, what is that? - What? 1803 01:57:53,032 --> 01:57:54,617 Oh, my God. 1804 01:57:55,201 --> 01:57:56,828 Who is that? 1805 01:57:59,122 --> 01:58:01,416 - It's Jake. - What's he doing? 1806 01:58:01,416 --> 01:58:03,084 I don't know. 1807 01:58:05,962 --> 01:58:07,881 - Anna Reilly. - Anna? 1808 01:58:07,881 --> 01:58:10,300 Anna, it's Jake. Can you-- Can you-- Can you see me? 1809 01:58:10,300 --> 01:58:13,219 'Cause I can't see you. I can-- I'm, like, looking at a reflection of myself. 1810 01:58:13,219 --> 01:58:15,430 Jake, I can see you. What are you doing? 1811 01:58:15,430 --> 01:58:20,059 I've been trying to get up there for the last hour, but it's like the friggin' Pentagon with that T-Bone guy! 1812 01:58:20,059 --> 01:58:23,187 So I decided to try Mr Casanova here. By the way, his name is Howard. 1813 01:58:23,187 --> 01:58:27,775 Listen. There's some things that I've been thinking about. I'd like to talk to you. 1814 01:58:28,359 --> 01:58:30,862 - Am I on speakerphone? - Hi, Jake! 1815 01:58:31,362 --> 01:58:32,780 Hi. Hi. 1816 01:58:34,032 --> 01:58:36,826 - Go on. - Well, can I talk to you alone? 1817 01:58:37,577 --> 01:58:40,622 - Could I come over there? - No, I think now would be a good time. 1818 01:58:40,622 --> 01:58:42,540 Okay. Um, alright. 1819 01:58:44,334 --> 01:58:46,628 Listen, I-I-I've been thinking about stuff... 1820 01:58:46,628 --> 01:58:49,797 an-an-an-an-and I just want you to know I'm sorry... 1821 01:58:49,923 --> 01:58:52,050 and-- and you were right. 1822 01:58:52,091 --> 01:58:54,010 - About what? - About everything. 1823 01:58:54,010 --> 01:58:57,013 About--About us, about me. Especially about me. 1824 01:58:57,013 --> 01:58:58,890 I've been acting like an idiot. 1825 01:58:58,890 --> 01:59:02,727 - So what are you saying, Jake? - Yeah, what are you saying, Jake? 1826 01:59:04,229 --> 01:59:06,481 I'm saying that I love you. 1827 01:59:08,358 --> 01:59:10,360 I'm in love with you. 1828 01:59:11,444 --> 01:59:15,990 And I've been waiting my whole life for someone like you, and I'm not gonna let you go. 1829 01:59:17,283 --> 01:59:18,993 Please, don't go. 1830 01:59:18,993 --> 01:59:21,204 Anna, I don't want you to go. 1831 01:59:23,957 --> 01:59:26,668 Uh, could we hang up the phone, maybe? 1832 01:59:28,253 --> 01:59:30,797 Hello? What's going on? Anna? Anna? 1833 01:59:30,880 --> 01:59:34,467 - She's gone, buddy! Move, move, move! - What? What? Oh-- 1834 01:59:36,344 --> 01:59:37,845 Whoo-hoo! 1835 01:59:39,389 --> 01:59:42,058 Stuff like that never happens to me. 1836 01:59:43,017 --> 01:59:44,602 Me neither. 1837 02:00:04,122 --> 02:00:06,124 No jolts, no surprises 1838 02:00:09,210 --> 02:00:12,338 No crisis arises My life goes along a sit should 1839 02:00:15,925 --> 02:00:18,511 It's all very nice but not very good 1840 02:00:22,891 --> 02:00:24,267 And I'm 1841 02:00:25,560 --> 02:00:27,854 Ready to take a chance again 1842 02:00:31,107 --> 02:00:33,526 Ready to put my love on the line 1843 02:00:35,528 --> 02:00:36,946 With you 1844 02:00:38,364 --> 02:00:41,075 Been living with nothing to show for it 1845 02:00:43,369 --> 02:00:45,914 You get what you get when you go for it 1846 02:00:48,208 --> 02:00:50,835 And I'm ready to take a chance again 1847 02:00:53,296 --> 02:00:55,757 Ready to put my love on the line 1848 02:00:57,300 --> 02:00:58,718 With you 1849 02:00:59,594 --> 02:01:02,305 Been living with nothing to show for it 1850 02:01:04,182 --> 02:01:06,726 You get what you get when you go for it 1851 02:01:08,603 --> 02:01:11,940 - And I'm ready to take the change again - Hey! - Hi. 1852 02:01:12,232 --> 02:01:14,192 - Is everything okay here? - Yeah. - Yeah, all good things. 1853 02:01:14,192 --> 02:01:16,528 - Very good. - All good things. - All good things. All good things. 1854 02:01:16,528 --> 02:01:18,613 - All right. - With you 1855 02:01:19,322 --> 02:01:22,075 And I'm ready to take that chance again 1856 02:01:23,743 --> 02:01:24,994 Hi. 1857 02:01:26,120 --> 02:01:28,790 Rabbi Lewis. Anna, this is Rabbi Lewis. 1858 02:01:28,831 --> 02:01:31,251 - Rabbi Lewis-- - Good to see you again, Miss Reilly. 1859 02:01:31,251 --> 02:01:33,628 - Good to see you again, Rabbi Lewis. - You missed our last class. 1860 02:01:33,628 --> 02:01:36,798 I know. I'm sorry. I thought I was leaving town. 1861 02:01:38,383 --> 02:01:40,301 Don't look at me in that tone of voice. 1862 02:01:40,301 --> 02:01:43,721 - I would love to start up again, if that's all right with you. - I'd be delighted. 1863 02:01:43,721 --> 02:01:45,098 Anna-- 1864 02:01:46,891 --> 02:01:49,894 Now, if you'll excuse us, we've got some dancing to do. 1865 02:01:49,894 --> 02:01:53,439 - Hey, come on, come on. Let's get this started. - Okay. 1866 02:01:57,235 --> 02:02:00,738 Okay, if we could have your attention, please, we'd like to kick this off officially. 1867 02:02:00,738 --> 02:02:04,617 - Yeah, everybody-- - It's so great to see such a great turnout. 1868 02:02:04,826 --> 02:02:07,912 - Thank you, all, for coming. - Congratulations to everybody. 1869 02:02:07,912 --> 02:02:11,708 And, uh, I gotta say, it's just wonderful to see so much interfaith dancing happening. 1870 02:02:11,708 --> 02:02:13,251 - Like-- - 'Cause you don't-- Get it? 1871 02:02:13,251 --> 02:02:16,880 - It's like the end of West Side Story, where it really warms your heart. - That's right. 1872 02:02:16,880 --> 02:02:19,549 - Let's give ourselves a hand. This is a great night for us all. - Yeah, this is your place. 1873 02:02:19,549 --> 02:02:22,218 - Enjoy it, okay? - Okay. - Hit it. 1874 02:02:36,941 --> 02:02:38,818 - Hello. - Hello. 1875 02:02:42,238 --> 02:02:44,449 Can I interrupt, or is three a crowd here? 1876 02:02:44,449 --> 02:02:46,201 Not this three. 1877 02:02:48,494 --> 02:02:49,954 Hold it. 1878 02:03:21,736 --> 02:03:23,530 Do you wanna know 1879 02:03:24,364 --> 02:03:26,491 If everythin' glitterin' 1880 02:03:28,284 --> 02:03:30,328 Will turn into the gold 1881 02:03:32,080 --> 02:03:33,831 I see in your hair 1882 02:03:34,874 --> 02:03:36,834 Feel it could be there 1883 02:03:37,252 --> 02:03:38,962 Some how tonight 1884 02:03:44,425 --> 02:03:46,386 And do you wanna fight 1885 02:03:47,262 --> 02:03:49,389 Somethin' worth savin' 1886 02:03:50,098 --> 02:03:52,350 The change would do me right 1887 02:03:53,685 --> 02:03:56,020 'Cause I've been just waitin' 1888 02:03:57,605 --> 02:03:59,983 And hesitatin' with this heart 1889 02:04:03,403 --> 02:04:04,612 Of 1890 02:04:06,614 --> 02:04:07,907 Mine 1891 02:04:13,621 --> 02:04:15,623 You're still a mystery 1892 02:04:15,874 --> 02:04:18,209 But there's somethin' so easy 1893 02:04:19,168 --> 02:04:21,296 In how you're sweet to me 1894 02:04:23,214 --> 02:04:24,924 I feel completed 1895 02:04:25,300 --> 02:04:28,177 Like it's somethin' I needed for this heart 1896 02:04:32,515 --> 02:04:33,725 Of 1897 02:04:35,476 --> 02:04:36,769 Mine 1898 02:04:42,817 --> 02:04:45,361 There's always somethin' so tragic 1899 02:04:49,199 --> 02:04:51,367 About a hopeless romantic 1900 02:05:11,095 --> 02:05:13,223 So though we cannot know 1901 02:05:13,640 --> 02:05:15,767 If everythin' glitterin' 1902 02:05:17,560 --> 02:05:19,604 Will turn into the gold 1903 02:05:20,897 --> 02:05:23,066 I'm through with waitin' 1904 02:05:24,108 --> 02:05:25,818 And hesitatin' 1905 02:05:27,195 --> 02:05:29,030 I want you takin' 1906 02:05:29,656 --> 02:05:31,199 This heart 1907 02:05:33,326 --> 02:05:34,536 Of 1908 02:05:36,454 --> 02:05:37,747 Mine 1909 02:05:42,835 --> 02:05:44,170 Heart 1910 02:05:46,089 --> 02:05:47,298 Of 1911 02:05:49,217 --> 02:05:50,510 Mine