1
00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:17,767
Oh, no. Here comes a speech.
2
00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:20,020
Just when I started to enjoy myself.
3
00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:23,982
Andy...
4
00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:26,318
...all my life I've dreamed of...
5
00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:30,071
...packing up and leaving the city
and the newspaper business behind.
6
00:00:30,238 --> 00:00:32,949
What stopped you, Jack?
Give it a shot.
7
00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:35,785
And moving to some quiet little town
in the country...
8
00:00:35,952 --> 00:00:37,704
...and putting down on paper...
9
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:40,040
...the novel I know I have inside of me.
10
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:42,751
That's not a novel, Jack. It's heartburn.
11
00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:47,172
But for one reason or another,
I never followed that dream.
12
00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:48,506
No talent.
13
00:00:48,673 --> 00:00:51,593
And to be honest with myself,
I probably never will.
14
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,094
Thank God for that.
15
00:00:53,261 --> 00:00:55,639
But you are, Andy.
16
00:00:55,805 --> 00:00:58,141
You're gonna live out
that dream for me...
17
00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:00,936
...and possibly for every man
seated around this table.
18
00:01:01,102 --> 00:01:02,646
Not me.
19
00:01:03,104 --> 00:01:05,982
80, Andy, I believe...
20
00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:10,487
...I speak to the feelings
in all our hearts when I say to you:
21
00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:12,072
"You son of a bitch."
22
00:01:16,993 --> 00:01:18,954
Seriously...
23
00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:20,622
...we'll miss you, Andy.
24
00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:24,167
Good sports writers are hard to find.
25
00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:29,589
- Lord knows, I have never found one.
- Hey, hey, hey.
26
00:01:30,006 --> 00:01:34,719
Well, I guess I wouldn't be much of
a newspaper man if I didn't know that...
27
00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:39,516
...all of this cynicism merely masks
deeper feelings of resentment and envy.
28
00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:43,853
But seriously, this is really great and...
29
00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:45,397
- ...I'm touched.
- Hey, Andy.
30
00:01:45,563 --> 00:01:49,025
- What's the book gonna be about?
- About 300 pages, Harry.
31
00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:51,361
Show them the check, Andy.
32
00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:54,030
Merely an advance...
33
00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:57,909
- ...of $10,000.
- Oh, that should cover your airfare back.
34
00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:00,537
As the heir apparent
to your Giants season tickets...
35
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:02,831
...I wish you all the success in the world.
36
00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:04,457
Don't get your hopes up, Ray.
37
00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:07,544
He'll be back before the preseason ends,
if he goes at all.
38
00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:10,714
No, I don't think so.
This move is for keeps.
39
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:12,716
That's what Billy Martin said.
40
00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:15,969
Elizabeth and I have made a commitment.
41
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:19,014
- We're even gonna start a family.
- My God. More Andy Farmers.
42
00:02:19,180 --> 00:02:22,684
- Yeah, give it a shot.
- 80 even if I wanted to move back...
43
00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:24,644
...Elizabeth would never let us.
44
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:31,568
- All set?
- Yes.
45
00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:34,487
Give me a kiss.
46
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:37,866
We're off.
47
00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:41,161
Redbud, here we come.
48
00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:17,614
Hey, there's our movers.
49
00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:25,246
Hey, fellas!
50
00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:27,582
See you up there!
51
00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:31,169
- Who the hell was that?
- How should I know?
52
00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:32,605
Elizabeth?
53
00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:35,024
Elizabeth?
54
00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:42,615
Look at these. These are even better.
55
00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:46,161
- Oh, by far. Mm-hm.
- Shh-shh-shh.
56
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:38,129
Let's get out of here.
57
00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:42,509
- This is the best one yet.
- We can trade it for a "railroad crossing."
58
00:05:53,895 --> 00:05:56,356
Woo-hoo!
59
00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:15,917
Am I crazy or is it even prettier
than when we bought it?
60
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:17,502
No. You're right.
61
00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,128
I am right, it is prettier.
62
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,882
And, look, the ducks are still here.
63
00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:26,386
I think they must live here, Andy.
64
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:27,720
That means they're ours.
65
00:06:30,014 --> 00:06:32,684
How about that, Elizabeth?
We own ducks.
66
00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:34,811
We're duck owners.
67
00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:39,482
I bet I could reach in there
with my bare hands and pull out a fish.
68
00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:43,111
Come on, let's go inside.
69
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:55,707
Wait. This is our first real house.
I'll carry you in.
70
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:59,502
- I heard that.
- Nonsense. You're light as a feather.
71
00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:02,630
Jeez!
72
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:07,176
Honey! Oh, God, are you all right?
Oh, I'm sorry.
73
00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:10,430
Oh, baby. It's that damn door.
74
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:11,973
Oh!
75
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,516
Sweetie pie, I'm sorry.
76
00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:16,477
- Are you better? Are you okay?
- Yeah.
77
00:07:16,644 --> 00:07:18,980
- Okay.
- Yeah.
78
00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:20,732
Well...
79
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:24,527
...welcome to our new home.
80
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:26,279
Come on.
81
00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:34,579
I wonder how long it would take
for an ambulance to reach us out here.
82
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,092
Let me see that map again.
83
00:07:57,393 --> 00:07:58,811
Which way does it go?
84
00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:00,688
Don't ask me. I'm the assistant.
85
00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:02,774
Where's north? Which is south?
86
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:06,444
Maybe this.
87
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:08,196
Who the hell drew this map?
88
00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:15,078
Juice is on.
89
00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:18,414
Water's on. Everything's on track in here.
90
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:19,874
No phone.
91
00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:21,959
No phone.
They didn't install the phone.
92
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:24,962
They were supposed to install
a sandstone-beige wall phone...
93
00:08:25,129 --> 00:08:28,257
- ...next to this window.
- I don't get it.
94
00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:32,220
I ordered that phone in writing a month
in advance. I paid a $50 deposit.
95
00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:35,682
Be that as it may, Andy,
there's no telephone in this kitchen.
96
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:40,019
Well, 200 years ago, the settlers lived
their entire lives without telephones.
97
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:43,064
We can manage a day or two
till I get this straightened out.
98
00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:45,191
Okay. Then let's get something to eat.
99
00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:47,443
You can't be hungry already.
100
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:49,862
Honey, we ate hours ago.
101
00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:53,282
As soon as the movers arrive and unload,
we'll zip into Redbud...
102
00:08:53,449 --> 00:08:56,619
...for an old-fashioned home-cooked meal.
103
00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:57,870
Whatever you say.
104
00:09:16,305 --> 00:09:19,475
Hey, Mac. Which way to Redbud?
105
00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:21,853
How'd you know my name was Mac?
106
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:23,646
Just guessed.
107
00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:26,315
Then why don't you guess
your way to Redbud?
108
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,083
Elizabeth?
109
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,960
Yeah.
110
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:49,005
My writing room.
Tell me what you think.
111
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:53,676
Originally I thought I should put my desk
here so I could look out over the pond.
112
00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:55,970
Then I thought,
no, too many distractions.
113
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:58,973
So I should put the desk over here
facing this way...
114
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:02,393
...and I can put the bookshelves
over there. What do you think?
115
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,481
- Well, I'll tell you what.
- Shh-shh-shh.
116
00:10:13,196 --> 00:10:15,072
Come here, look at this.
117
00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:20,828
What is that, a finch? A lark?
118
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:25,625
I think it's a sparrow, Andy.
119
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:27,919
It's perfect.
120
00:10:28,085 --> 00:10:29,504
Isn't it perfect, Elizabeth?
121
00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:32,215
A bird's nest right outside
my writing room window.
122
00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:36,719
Oh, Andy. I don't think I've ever
seen you this happy before.
123
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:38,638
Well, why shouldn't I be happy?
124
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:41,432
We bought a house in the country.
Gonna write my novel.
125
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:44,101
We're gonna start a new family.
126
00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:47,688
When was the last time we horsed around
in the middle of the day?
127
00:10:47,855 --> 00:10:50,358
Six years ago when we were both
down with the flu.
128
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,152
That's too long.
129
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,574
Now?
130
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:00,284
- Here?
- Mm-hm.
131
00:11:00,451 --> 00:11:02,745
Yes, on both counts.
132
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,997
Shouldn't we wait for the bed to arrive?
133
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:09,335
Oh, no. The settlers 200 years ago
never needed beds.
134
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:12,630
No sense breaking with tradition now.
135
00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:16,801
Listen.
136
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:22,765
What was that?
137
00:11:23,266 --> 00:11:25,434
I didn't hear anything.
138
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,105
No.
139
00:11:32,441 --> 00:11:34,110
It's them.
140
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:37,154
The movers are here.
141
00:11:40,575 --> 00:11:42,410
Terrific.
142
00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:47,540
Maybe now we can eat.
143
00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:53,629
Andy?
144
00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:55,089
Hey. Andy?
145
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:09,103
Andy, look out!
146
00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:17,111
- Honey, are you all right?
- Jesus. What the hell was that?
147
00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:19,405
Who was that maniac?
148
00:12:23,659 --> 00:12:25,077
What is it, a death threat?
149
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:26,662
No, it's a letter...
150
00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:30,625
...addressed to the people we bought
the house from, the Musselmans.
151
00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:34,712
- A letter?
- This is mail, Andy.
152
00:12:34,962 --> 00:12:38,382
That maniac is our mailman.
153
00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:42,303
I guess there's a lot we'll have to
get used to around here.
154
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:47,183
But I bet those are just the things
we come to love the mo...
155
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:48,517
What was that for?
156
00:12:49,185 --> 00:12:50,436
A mosquito.
157
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,438
Honest.
158
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:15,378
Let me have a try.
159
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:25,513
Pardon me, sir.
160
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:29,684
- Could you give us some assistance, please?
- Yeah. Glad to help.
161
00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:32,645
We're looking for Dog Creek Road.
162
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,730
That would be near the town of Redbud.
163
00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:39,235
If I was going to Dog Creek Road,
I sure as hell wouldn't start from here.
164
00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:42,238
But supposing you had to?
165
00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:46,409
Well, then I'd swing around and go back
the way you came.
166
00:13:46,575 --> 00:13:51,205
But this time, turn right
where the old Hollenshed barn used to be.
167
00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:56,043
Then about five miles
before the road dead-ends, veer left...
168
00:13:56,210 --> 00:14:00,423
...and follow the railroad tracks
straight into a town called Beaver Mills.
169
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:07,138
Or you could take the bridge at the fork in
the road and save yourself a heap of time.
170
00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:14,437
But I wouldn't go that way if I were you.
171
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:29,201
This ain't a bridge.
172
00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:32,455
- It's termites holding hands.
- We're going over it.
173
00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:35,124
Not me. I wouldn't go over this thing
on a skateboard.
174
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:38,627
We're going over it. Have faith
in the craftsmanship of our forefathers.
175
00:14:38,794 --> 00:14:42,131
Your forefathers, not my forefathers.
176
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:45,676
Oh, Lord.
177
00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:05,446
This is insane. What are we doing, man?
178
00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:08,282
We're just movers.
That's all. We're just movers.
179
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,077
No one gets paid for this shit.
180
00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:19,085
Go back, 90 back, go back!
181
00:15:20,544 --> 00:15:21,796
Go back, 90 back, go back.
182
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:25,049
It's over. It's over, man.
183
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:30,012
- Forefathers, my ass!
- Shut up. You're making me nervous.
184
00:16:11,011 --> 00:16:12,638
Any sign of them?
185
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:14,265
Nope.
186
00:16:15,182 --> 00:16:18,060
I think it's gonna be a sneak attack.
187
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:22,273
Where'd you get that?
188
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:25,151
From the picnic basket.
189
00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:26,986
Anything else?
190
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:30,906
No. This was the last of it.
One banana.
191
00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:33,993
- That's all. I'm sorry.
- No.
192
00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:38,747
I thought I saw an apple.
193
00:16:38,914 --> 00:16:42,168
Nope. Just this.
194
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:51,302
Mickey?
195
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:55,014
- Yeah.
- You still got that map?
196
00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:57,600
- Yeah.
- Don't lose it.
197
00:16:57,766 --> 00:17:01,437
It might be the piece of evidence
that gets me off a murder charge.
198
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,564
Who you gonna kill, Crocker?
199
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:06,233
The son of a bitch who drew that map.
200
00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:41,977
When they say hardwood
floors, what they really mean is...
201
00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:45,731
...hard, wood floors.
202
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:49,860
Oh, it's not so bad. It's warm
in here. We have a roof over our heads.
203
00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:01,413
Think about the settlers 200 years ago.
204
00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:04,333
They slept under the stars
and bathed in icy streams.
205
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:07,795
And they lived to an average age of 29.
206
00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:18,097
Come here.
207
00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:20,516
Come here.
208
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:28,565
Close your eyes
and try to get some sleep.
209
00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:50,105
Hey.
210
00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:54,193
They're here.
211
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:56,945
Be civil.
212
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,870
Well, it's about time!
213
00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:08,290
Where the hell have you guys been?
214
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:09,500
Oh, man.
215
00:20:09,666 --> 00:20:11,377
- You hear that?
- Didn't hear a thing.
216
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:14,463
- I'll have somebody's ass for this!
- Perhaps you heard that.
217
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:16,423
- Nope.
- You're a day late, damn it!
218
00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:20,177
We had to sleep on the floor last night!
Where the hell have you idiots been?
219
00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:23,472
- Or that?
- I don't know what to say. I'm at a loss.
220
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:27,476
I have a contract. Says if you're late,
you get a rebate. Well, you guys are late.
221
00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:31,021
And I want more than a rebate.
I want a goddamn refund!
222
00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:32,981
Somebody answer me!
223
00:20:33,148 --> 00:20:35,442
- We got lost.
- Lost?
224
00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:39,321
How could you get lost?
I drew you a map!
225
00:20:42,991 --> 00:20:45,994
Okay. That's more like it.
226
00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:50,249
- Now we're getting somewhere.
- This one?
227
00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:53,168
Good choice.
228
00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:55,796
Follow me.
229
00:20:57,464 --> 00:20:59,091
Okay, that goes in my writing room.
230
00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:01,677
It's on the second floor,
last room on the left.
231
00:21:01,844 --> 00:21:04,513
That is top-quality leather.
Watch it going up the stairs.
232
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:08,225
Also, we just had the floors done
so I don't want scratches and scrapes.
233
00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:11,145
Just take it easy on the floors, okay?
234
00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:14,648
Hey! Fella, hey!
235
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:16,525
Wait!
236
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:18,277
Stop!
237
00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:26,618
You slept on the floor, huh?
238
00:21:26,785 --> 00:21:30,664
We slept outside
with the bugs and the wild animals.
239
00:21:30,831 --> 00:21:32,708
A bridge nearly killed us.
240
00:21:32,875 --> 00:21:36,879
Nobody knows where the hell Redbud is.
And we haven't eaten since yesterday.
241
00:21:37,045 --> 00:21:40,966
So stay the hell out of our way
and keep your mouth shut!
242
00:21:44,470 --> 00:21:46,221
Sounds fair.
243
00:22:07,868 --> 00:22:08,952
How's it going?
244
00:22:09,703 --> 00:22:11,580
Fine. Great.
245
00:22:12,122 --> 00:22:14,082
That's good.
246
00:22:17,211 --> 00:22:20,380
Well, back to work.
247
00:23:13,308 --> 00:23:14,309
Yeah.
248
00:24:15,579 --> 00:24:17,080
- Hey, Andy?
- What?
249
00:24:17,247 --> 00:24:18,874
Come down here, Andy! Hurry!
250
00:24:47,069 --> 00:24:48,737
Andy?
251
00:24:49,780 --> 00:24:51,239
- Andy?
- What?
252
00:24:57,663 --> 00:24:59,706
- I found the phone.
- Good.
253
00:25:00,165 --> 00:25:03,126
Call the movers. I'm not spending
another night in this house.
254
00:25:03,543 --> 00:25:06,463
- Why? What happened?
- There's a coffin in the garden.
255
00:25:06,630 --> 00:25:09,257
- Operator.
- Sheriff's office, please.
256
00:25:09,424 --> 00:25:13,720
Yes, sir. I can connect you with the
sheriff if you will kindly deposit 20 cents.
257
00:25:14,388 --> 00:25:16,306
- This isn't a pay phone.
- Please, sir.
258
00:25:16,473 --> 00:25:20,310
Deposit 20 cents in the slot
and I'll complete your call as requested.
259
00:25:20,477 --> 00:25:24,231
You don't understand. This is Mr. Farmer.
We just moved into the Musselman place.
260
00:25:24,398 --> 00:25:27,025
You were supposed to install
a wall phone in the kitchen.
261
00:25:27,192 --> 00:25:30,195
Please, sir, just drop a couple of dimes
in the slot...
262
00:25:30,362 --> 00:25:33,156
...and I will happily complete your call
as requested.
263
00:25:33,323 --> 00:25:34,908
What slot? There is no slot.
264
00:25:35,075 --> 00:25:36,326
Haven't you been listening?
265
00:25:36,493 --> 00:25:40,956
This is not a pay phone! This is a goddamn
1948 table model with a 12" cord...
266
00:25:41,123 --> 00:25:43,291
...that some jackass put in my cabinet!
267
00:25:43,458 --> 00:25:47,421
Disconnect. Vulgar and abusive language,
that's an automatic disconnect.
268
00:25:51,007 --> 00:25:53,009
Operator. ANDY: Yes, hello.
269
00:25:53,176 --> 00:25:55,512
This is Dr. Grail from the...
270
00:25:55,679 --> 00:25:59,599
...Utilities Commission. May I speak with
the sheriff? We have a fire. It's urgent.
271
00:25:59,766 --> 00:26:01,852
Nice try, Mr. Farmer.
272
00:26:10,152 --> 00:26:11,611
Sheriff's office, please.
273
00:26:11,778 --> 00:26:14,489
You gotta get up earlier in the morning
than that, Farmer.
274
00:26:14,656 --> 00:26:19,536
I know the sound of two pennies being
dropped into a jelly jar when I hear it.
275
00:26:19,911 --> 00:26:22,247
Listen to me. This is Elizabeth Farmer.
276
00:26:22,414 --> 00:26:26,334
We have a corpse in the garden. Now
get a hold of the sheriff this very minute.
277
00:26:29,045 --> 00:26:30,672
Yup.
278
00:26:30,964 --> 00:26:32,299
That's a casket, all right.
279
00:26:32,466 --> 00:26:36,636
See? It's nothing to be upset about. It's
out of the ground. It'll be gone in a moment.
280
00:26:37,304 --> 00:26:38,930
What's this gonna cost me, fellas?
281
00:26:40,348 --> 00:26:43,894
Dirk, what is our charge
for excavating mortal remains?
282
00:26:44,060 --> 00:26:46,396
I guess we better bill them by the pound.
283
00:26:46,855 --> 00:26:48,231
Careful, boy.
284
00:26:48,815 --> 00:26:50,442
Don't look.
285
00:26:55,655 --> 00:26:56,823
Take a look at this.
286
00:27:04,122 --> 00:27:05,373
That's Claude Musselman.
287
00:27:05,540 --> 00:27:08,418
- I recognize the glass eye.
- I knew it.
288
00:27:08,585 --> 00:27:12,005
I knew Eula would get
the last word in somehow.
289
00:27:12,172 --> 00:27:13,673
What do you mean?
290
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:18,887
Claude used to alley-cat around town
with a widow named Dorita Freeburger.
291
00:27:19,054 --> 00:27:21,431
When he died, he left the house to Eula...
292
00:27:21,598 --> 00:27:23,308
...and $10,000 to Dorita.
293
00:27:23,475 --> 00:27:26,394
I guess that made Eula mad enough
to stuff Claude in this...
294
00:27:26,561 --> 00:27:28,730
...cheap pine box
and plant him in the garden.
295
00:27:28,897 --> 00:27:31,691
Having the last word's
real important around here.
296
00:27:32,442 --> 00:27:36,738
Boys, take him over to the cemetery
and I'll see that he gets a proper burial.
297
00:27:36,905 --> 00:27:38,615
Right away.
298
00:27:39,074 --> 00:27:42,786
Ma'am, could I trouble you for
a shovel and some plastic GLAD Bags?
299
00:27:44,746 --> 00:27:46,873
I'll get them.
300
00:27:52,754 --> 00:27:54,214
Thanks for all your trouble.
301
00:27:54,381 --> 00:27:58,510
I'd say the worst is behind you now,
but be careful where you dig in the future.
302
00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:02,097
I believe Claude had a mule
that's still unaccounted for.
303
00:28:02,264 --> 00:28:04,140
Thanks for the tip.
304
00:28:04,599 --> 00:28:06,685
Any other problems, just let me know.
305
00:28:06,852 --> 00:28:09,271
- No, I think that'll do it.
- No.
306
00:28:09,771 --> 00:28:12,357
No. No, it won't.
307
00:28:12,524 --> 00:28:17,362
Our mailman tried to run us down with his
truck and threw our mail out into the road.
308
00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:20,031
You're on Crum Petree's route,
aren't you?
309
00:28:20,365 --> 00:28:24,160
The problem is, your place is five miles
off his regular route.
310
00:28:24,327 --> 00:28:28,915
By the time he gets all the way out to here,
he's pretty well liquored up and pissed off.
311
00:28:29,082 --> 00:28:30,750
My advice is...
312
00:28:30,917 --> 00:28:32,460
...learn to live with it.
313
00:28:32,627 --> 00:28:37,257
- Well, I'll have a talk with him.
- Yes. You do that, Mr. Farmer.
314
00:28:37,424 --> 00:28:41,428
You two have yourselves a nice little chat.
Ike, let's go.
315
00:28:41,595 --> 00:28:43,054
Thank you, ma'am.
316
00:28:43,388 --> 00:28:45,932
Does the sheriff always ride around
in a taxi?
317
00:28:46,099 --> 00:28:48,476
Yup. Ever since he
flunked his driving test.
318
00:29:02,324 --> 00:29:05,160
Andy, have we made a terrible mistake?
319
00:29:05,327 --> 00:29:06,411
Of course not.
320
00:29:10,999 --> 00:29:15,086
I know things haven't gone
completely according to plan so far.
321
00:29:15,253 --> 00:29:17,797
We just have to adjust our thinking.
322
00:29:18,131 --> 00:29:21,009
We didn't move here
for a change of scenery, did we?
323
00:29:22,052 --> 00:29:23,428
No.
324
00:29:23,595 --> 00:29:26,348
We moved here for a change of heart.
325
00:29:27,098 --> 00:29:30,352
But it's gonna take a little effort
on our parts.
326
00:29:32,228 --> 00:29:34,689
Come on, what do you say?
327
00:29:34,856 --> 00:29:36,483
Give it a chance.
328
00:29:37,025 --> 00:29:39,069
Okay.
329
00:29:39,861 --> 00:29:41,363
I'll make an effort.
330
00:29:41,529 --> 00:29:44,699
- I promise.
- Good.
331
00:30:25,323 --> 00:30:27,826
I'm gonna do a little fishing.
332
00:30:30,537 --> 00:30:31,788
I'm going fishing.
333
00:30:31,955 --> 00:30:34,374
- Done writing?
- I'm taking a break.
334
00:30:34,541 --> 00:30:37,711
I thought I'd try my luck at the pond,
maybe catch us some lunch.
335
00:30:37,877 --> 00:30:39,879
Great. Have fun.
336
00:30:40,338 --> 00:30:42,173
How are you doing?
337
00:30:46,177 --> 00:30:49,389
- How are you doing?
- Me? I'm doing great.
338
00:30:49,556 --> 00:30:52,017
I love the country.
339
00:31:00,025 --> 00:31:01,109
Sorry, fellas.
340
00:31:09,284 --> 00:31:10,660
Hey, honey?
341
00:31:11,578 --> 00:31:13,621
I got one.
342
00:31:15,290 --> 00:31:16,958
Where you going? Where you going?
343
00:31:17,125 --> 00:31:18,460
You wanna fight, do you?
344
00:31:21,296 --> 00:31:22,672
Christ! Get it off!
345
00:31:22,839 --> 00:31:25,341
Get... Elizabeth! Elizabeth!
346
00:31:27,052 --> 00:31:30,221
It's caught on me! Elizabeth!
347
00:31:50,658 --> 00:31:52,410
Oh, no.
348
00:31:54,079 --> 00:31:55,538
Honey.
349
00:32:11,012 --> 00:32:15,809
It's all my fault. I've been so busy writing,
I didn't realize how cooped up you've been.
350
00:32:16,434 --> 00:32:19,646
We're gonna get out
and make some friends, circulate.
351
00:32:19,813 --> 00:32:22,107
Become part of the community.
352
00:32:22,273 --> 00:32:23,900
Hm?
353
00:32:24,067 --> 00:32:26,528
- I guess.
- That's a girl.
354
00:32:28,780 --> 00:32:30,698
"Founder's Day picnic. Softball."
355
00:32:30,865 --> 00:32:32,158
Sounds like fun.
356
00:32:32,325 --> 00:32:34,285
- Wanna go?
- Don't think so.
357
00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:43,670
There's an antique store.
358
00:32:44,212 --> 00:32:47,549
"Ethel Dinges Antiques."
Let's take a look.
359
00:32:59,727 --> 00:33:02,063
Hon, you know you don't enjoy
this sort of thing.
360
00:33:02,230 --> 00:33:05,400
- You go to the ball game. I'll find you later.
- No, I don't mind.
361
00:33:07,861 --> 00:33:11,030
Well, okay.
362
00:33:11,197 --> 00:33:12,699
- Here, you keep the car.
- Okay.
363
00:33:12,866 --> 00:33:14,492
- Take your time.
- All right.
364
00:33:14,659 --> 00:33:17,162
- See you at the picnic.
- Okay.
365
00:33:29,132 --> 00:33:30,925
- Here you go. Thank you.
- Thanks.
366
00:33:31,092 --> 00:33:33,303
Two hot dogs, please.
367
00:33:35,346 --> 00:33:37,891
- You might as well pay.
- I'll beat you.
368
00:33:44,439 --> 00:33:46,149
Go, go, go.
369
00:33:46,608 --> 00:33:50,236
- Yeah!
- Let's get them, Redbud.
370
00:33:56,534 --> 00:33:59,704
Come on, let's go. One more.
371
00:33:59,871 --> 00:34:01,080
Good job, Redbud.
372
00:34:01,247 --> 00:34:04,626
- All right.
- Second base.
373
00:34:05,585 --> 00:34:06,711
Let's get the batter up.
374
00:34:16,804 --> 00:34:17,847
Play ball!
375
00:34:20,642 --> 00:34:22,185
Strike!
376
00:34:23,937 --> 00:34:26,105
Lotterhand, what day is it?
377
00:34:26,272 --> 00:34:27,732
Come on, Redbud!
378
00:34:32,445 --> 00:34:34,113
Strike!
379
00:34:36,491 --> 00:34:38,243
Here we go.
380
00:34:38,409 --> 00:34:40,745
Come on. Put it in there.
381
00:34:42,705 --> 00:34:43,831
All right. Yeah.
382
00:34:43,998 --> 00:34:45,625
I got it.
383
00:34:47,001 --> 00:34:48,294
Strike three.
384
00:34:52,215 --> 00:34:53,841
Gee. Sorry, Marion.
385
00:34:54,008 --> 00:34:56,469
Run, you idiot, run!
He dropped the third strike!
386
00:34:56,636 --> 00:34:58,304
Somebody pick up the ball!
387
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:00,640
Somebody get the ball!
388
00:35:01,307 --> 00:35:04,018
What the hell is this?
Gus called three strikes.
389
00:35:04,185 --> 00:35:06,354
Somebody pick up the damn ball!
390
00:35:11,025 --> 00:35:12,193
Safe!
391
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:14,487
What's the matter with you,
are you blind?
392
00:35:15,905 --> 00:35:18,950
- I call them as I see them.
- He's got the ball here...
393
00:35:19,117 --> 00:35:20,743
Get an ambulance.
394
00:35:21,828 --> 00:35:25,206
If you have any questions,
feel free to ask.
395
00:35:26,749 --> 00:35:28,751
- This is nice.
- Isn't it, though?
396
00:35:28,918 --> 00:35:31,713
That belonged to my sister.
397
00:35:32,130 --> 00:35:33,172
She's dead.
398
00:35:35,216 --> 00:35:36,592
Oh, sorry.
399
00:35:36,759 --> 00:35:38,469
We were very close.
400
00:35:38,720 --> 00:35:42,432
This cup is all I have to remember her by.
401
00:35:43,057 --> 00:35:46,269
Everything else was lost in the explosion.
402
00:35:53,484 --> 00:35:56,529
This is perfect.
How much are you asking?
403
00:35:56,696 --> 00:36:00,908
That belonged to my husband.
It was his favorite chair.
404
00:36:01,075 --> 00:36:03,995
He would come home
from a hard day on the railroad...
405
00:36:04,162 --> 00:36:08,041
...and just rock and rock.
406
00:36:08,207 --> 00:36:12,086
I can almost see him in it now.
I don't believe...
407
00:36:12,253 --> 00:36:14,672
...a soul has sat in that chair...
408
00:36:14,839 --> 00:36:17,300
...since the day his heart attacked him.
409
00:36:21,429 --> 00:36:24,349
- It'll be all right.
- Ma, is he dead?
410
00:36:35,860 --> 00:36:39,155
Well, that's that.
Forget the fishing derby, boys.
411
00:36:39,322 --> 00:36:41,616
- How come?
- Without Marion, we're a man short.
412
00:36:41,783 --> 00:36:44,952
Rules say four men in a boat.
413
00:36:55,171 --> 00:36:56,756
I'm glad to help out, fellas.
414
00:36:57,131 --> 00:36:59,133
I hope this won't take too long.
415
00:36:59,300 --> 00:37:02,053
My wife's gonna come down... Ah!
416
00:37:04,597 --> 00:37:06,641
Hey!
417
00:37:07,850 --> 00:37:09,435
Hey!
418
00:37:13,815 --> 00:37:16,651
You must be new to Redbud.
419
00:37:17,235 --> 00:37:18,945
Just moved up from New York.
420
00:37:19,112 --> 00:37:21,364
How do you like it so far?
421
00:37:21,531 --> 00:37:24,158
Oh, it's lovely.
422
00:37:25,993 --> 00:37:29,497
No, that's not true. It's just awful.
423
00:37:34,794 --> 00:37:38,172
Everything just seems to be going wrong.
424
00:37:40,341 --> 00:37:41,426
Bugs".
425
00:37:41,592 --> 00:37:43,094
...snakes...
426
00:37:43,261 --> 00:37:46,681
- ...dead bodies.
- Oh, dear.
427
00:37:47,890 --> 00:37:49,767
We had such high hopes.
428
00:37:49,934 --> 00:37:53,479
Of course you did. Of course you did.
429
00:37:53,646 --> 00:37:57,108
Everything will work out. You'll see.
430
00:37:57,525 --> 00:37:59,110
Why don't we sit down here...
431
00:37:59,277 --> 00:38:02,363
...and I'll make us a nice
cold pitcher of iced tea.
432
00:38:02,530 --> 00:38:03,948
No, I don't wanna trouble you.
433
00:38:04,115 --> 00:38:08,369
Nonsense. Now you sit down here
and I'll be right back.
434
00:38:13,416 --> 00:38:15,751
- Ah!
- What is it?
435
00:38:17,712 --> 00:38:20,423
He won't hurt you, dear. He's stuffed.
436
00:38:22,049 --> 00:38:24,093
He... He just startled me, that's all.
437
00:38:24,260 --> 00:38:26,429
- I'll take him away.
- No, no.
438
00:38:26,596 --> 00:38:28,514
No, I'm all right now.
439
00:38:28,848 --> 00:38:31,058
I'll be right back.
440
00:39:01,255 --> 00:39:02,757
Oh, boy.
441
00:39:17,939 --> 00:39:19,857
Jesus, Brock, I'm sorry!
442
00:39:20,399 --> 00:39:21,984
- What happened?
- I hooked his neck.
443
00:39:22,151 --> 00:39:25,363
No, don't pull on it.
You'll rip his damn veins out.
444
00:39:25,530 --> 00:39:26,656
He'll bleed to death.
445
00:39:26,822 --> 00:39:28,908
Take it easy. You're just making it worse.
446
00:39:29,075 --> 00:39:31,035
- Let me see it!
- Stay away from me.
447
00:39:31,202 --> 00:39:34,121
- We gotta get the hook out. Hold still!
- Get away! Get away!
448
00:39:34,288 --> 00:39:36,499
- You've got to hold still!
- Get away from me!
449
00:39:36,832 --> 00:39:38,209
- Gotta knock him out.
- What?
450
00:39:38,376 --> 00:39:40,419
It's the only way to get the hooks out.
451
00:39:41,254 --> 00:39:43,422
Sorry, Brock, it's for your own good.
452
00:39:43,589 --> 00:39:45,341
Will you cut that out?
453
00:39:47,510 --> 00:39:49,262
- You bastard!
- It's not working.
454
00:39:49,428 --> 00:39:52,014
You're not knocking him out,
you're beating him up.
455
00:39:52,181 --> 00:39:53,683
- Sons of bitches!
- Hold still!
456
00:39:53,849 --> 00:39:56,769
- He sure is tough.
- Somebody else take a swing.
457
00:39:56,936 --> 00:39:59,355
I only hooked him in the neck,
I'm not trying to kill him.
458
00:40:01,274 --> 00:40:03,818
- Help me pull his hands away from his face.
- Hey, I got a strike.
459
00:40:03,985 --> 00:40:05,778
I'm gonna kill you for this.
460
00:40:06,612 --> 00:40:09,156
I'm sorry, Brock.
It's for your own good.
461
00:40:12,535 --> 00:40:14,537
Oh, Jesus. Fellas, I'm sorry!
462
00:40:19,125 --> 00:40:21,002
That's cold.
463
00:40:21,419 --> 00:40:24,005
Hey, look.
464
00:40:24,171 --> 00:40:25,756
It fell out.
465
00:40:27,216 --> 00:40:28,676
- No need to thank me.
- Grab him.
466
00:40:28,843 --> 00:40:31,596
- I was only trying to help.
- He's mine.
467
00:40:31,762 --> 00:40:34,015
If you come to get me, I'll be ready!
468
00:40:34,181 --> 00:40:36,684
I don't work! I don't sleep!
469
00:40:38,185 --> 00:40:39,812
Damn.
470
00:41:07,214 --> 00:41:09,467
Mrs. Farmer? Mrs. Farmer?
471
00:41:09,634 --> 00:41:14,388
I've been looking for you, Mrs. Farmer.
Can I speak to you for a minute?
472
00:41:19,644 --> 00:41:22,229
I got something here for you,
Mrs. Farmer.
473
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:23,898
Try again tomorrow, sheriff?
474
00:41:24,398 --> 00:41:26,859
Hello, sheriff. What is it?
475
00:41:27,026 --> 00:41:29,445
The bill for Claude Musselman's funeral.
476
00:41:33,574 --> 00:41:35,117
Four thousand dollars?
477
00:41:35,284 --> 00:41:39,872
I'd call it a bargain. He got the most
scenic plot in Memorial Cemetery.
478
00:41:40,039 --> 00:41:43,793
For $4,000, we could have had him
stuffed and mounted over the fireplace.
479
00:41:43,959 --> 00:41:47,505
I thought you'd wanna give him
the best burial money could buy.
480
00:41:47,672 --> 00:41:50,424
Frankly, I don't see how any of this
is our respons...
481
00:42:14,073 --> 00:42:17,451
- Can we discuss this some other time?
- If you like.
482
00:42:18,619 --> 00:42:21,580
I'll take it up with my husband
the moment he dries out.
483
00:42:21,956 --> 00:42:24,417
Just remember, Mrs. Farmer,
when you buy a house...
484
00:42:24,959 --> 00:42:29,004
...what's in the ground belongs to you,
whether it's gold or oil...
485
00:42:29,171 --> 00:42:31,132
...or Claude Musselman.
486
00:42:47,690 --> 00:42:50,359
- You wanna talk about it?
- No.
487
00:42:51,485 --> 00:42:53,779
Then take a look at this.
488
00:43:05,875 --> 00:43:07,543
Four thousand dollars?
489
00:43:07,710 --> 00:43:09,920
It's itemized.
490
00:43:11,297 --> 00:43:17,052
"One satin-lined casket, $2525?
491
00:43:18,846 --> 00:43:22,892
One Italian marble headstone, $1,200?
492
00:43:23,350 --> 00:43:26,020
Reverend Cobb's sermon, one...
493
00:43:26,187 --> 00:43:28,647
Traffic control"?
494
00:43:29,398 --> 00:43:32,193
What? What?
495
00:43:34,361 --> 00:43:37,072
80 such for getting out
and making friends.
496
00:43:39,617 --> 00:43:41,786
Hey, wait. Stop, go back.
497
00:43:41,952 --> 00:43:43,537
Go back.
498
00:43:48,793 --> 00:43:51,879
If I can't make a friend,
I'll goddamn buy one.
499
00:44:12,733 --> 00:44:16,320
We're home, boy. Out you go.
500
00:44:25,913 --> 00:44:27,915
Hey, hey. Get away from those ducks.
501
00:44:32,336 --> 00:44:34,171
Hell of a dog.
502
00:44:36,882 --> 00:44:39,260
It sure likes to run.
503
00:44:43,055 --> 00:44:45,474
Yo! Hey!
504
00:44:45,933 --> 00:44:47,268
Dog!
505
00:44:48,769 --> 00:44:51,188
Hey! Hey!
506
00:44:51,564 --> 00:44:54,400
Come back! Dog!
507
00:44:56,861 --> 00:44:59,613
Come on! Come!
508
00:45:00,489 --> 00:45:01,782
Ah!
509
00:45:05,703 --> 00:45:07,371
Stay here.
510
00:45:07,538 --> 00:45:10,374
Maybe our homeowner's policy
will cover it.
511
00:45:55,127 --> 00:45:59,173
- Well?
- Vanished without a trace.
512
00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:03,135
I must have covered 10 square miles.
513
00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:06,180
This has been one hell of a day.
514
00:46:07,014 --> 00:46:09,183
And it isn't over yet.
515
00:46:10,309 --> 00:46:13,145
They installed the kitchen phone
while we were gone.
516
00:46:13,312 --> 00:46:17,024
Well, thank God
something's gone right today.
517
00:46:19,234 --> 00:46:20,361
Does it work?
518
00:46:20,527 --> 00:46:23,864
- I don't know. I didn't try it.
- Why not?
519
00:46:27,117 --> 00:46:29,536
I didn't have any change.
520
00:46:44,718 --> 00:46:47,429
- Are you feeling better now?
- Yeah.
521
00:46:48,138 --> 00:46:50,349
- You?
- Yeah.
522
00:46:50,557 --> 00:46:53,644
- You wanna horse around?
- Yeah.
523
00:47:37,646 --> 00:47:39,189
Hey.
524
00:47:42,943 --> 00:47:45,112
Hey! Dog!
525
00:48:14,141 --> 00:48:15,976
I'm not giving up!
526
00:48:16,143 --> 00:48:19,438
You're not dealing
with some ignorant hick here!
527
00:48:45,672 --> 00:48:47,257
Heading south for the winter, eh?
528
00:49:05,359 --> 00:49:07,528
Welcome back, fellas.
529
00:49:08,862 --> 00:49:10,906
Oh, hold on one second.
530
00:49:19,957 --> 00:49:22,334
Are you there? Okay.
531
00:49:43,021 --> 00:49:45,107
You look beautiful.
532
00:49:45,274 --> 00:49:47,651
Happy anniversary.
533
00:49:49,444 --> 00:49:51,989
- Ready for a big night on the town?
- Mm-hm.
534
00:49:52,156 --> 00:49:54,575
But before we go,
I have something for you.
535
00:49:54,741 --> 00:49:57,744
So do I. It's right here.
536
00:49:58,662 --> 00:50:00,164
But I'm saving it for later.
537
00:50:00,998 --> 00:50:04,376
Mine's on the porch. You can have it now.
Close your eyes.
538
00:50:06,670 --> 00:50:07,713
Close your eyes.
539
00:50:09,423 --> 00:50:10,507
No peeking.
540
00:50:20,225 --> 00:50:22,853
Happy anniversary, sweetheart.
541
00:50:28,442 --> 00:50:29,943
Is it alive?
542
00:50:31,904 --> 00:50:35,282
This one's guaranteed not to run away.
543
00:50:35,449 --> 00:50:37,534
What's his name?
544
00:50:37,701 --> 00:50:39,286
That's up to you.
545
00:50:39,453 --> 00:50:41,955
Hello, Yellow Dog.
546
00:50:42,539 --> 00:50:46,251
He's beautiful. I love him. Thank you.
547
00:50:46,418 --> 00:50:49,129
We could plant corn back there.
There's plenty of room.
548
00:50:49,296 --> 00:50:51,924
- Or pumpkins.
- Pumpkins would be great.
549
00:50:52,090 --> 00:50:55,510
More lamb fries.
Eat them while they're hot.
550
00:50:55,677 --> 00:50:58,138
Andy, that's your third order.
551
00:50:59,139 --> 00:51:02,476
I am hooked, Elizabeth.
Call me Mr. Lamb Fries.
552
00:51:02,643 --> 00:51:05,979
Now there's a man who knows when
he's got something good in his mouth.
553
00:51:06,355 --> 00:51:10,859
You polish off that plate
and you'll break the record, 28.
554
00:51:11,026 --> 00:51:12,986
That one makes 26.
555
00:51:14,112 --> 00:51:16,698
Stand back, everybody.
The record falls tonight.
556
00:51:16,865 --> 00:51:18,116
Look at him go.
557
00:51:18,283 --> 00:51:21,328
I believe he's right.
I believe that record will fall tonight.
558
00:51:21,495 --> 00:51:24,873
- Twenty-seven.
- It's stood at 28 for nearly two years now.
559
00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:28,126
That long? Go for it, Andrew.
560
00:51:28,502 --> 00:51:30,629
- Twenty-eight.
- That's a tie.
561
00:51:39,054 --> 00:51:40,138
Twenty-nine!
562
00:51:40,305 --> 00:51:42,432
The new record!
563
00:51:44,226 --> 00:51:45,519
And he's still going.
564
00:51:46,019 --> 00:51:48,647
I thought that record
was gonna last forever.
565
00:51:48,897 --> 00:51:52,943
Most folks just don't seem to have
a taste for testicles no more.
566
00:51:53,110 --> 00:51:56,029
- Testicles?
- Yes, ma'am. Sheep balls.
567
00:51:57,447 --> 00:51:59,700
- That's right.
- Tell him why yours is so tasty.
568
00:51:59,866 --> 00:52:04,121
Well, the trick is you've got to
clip them off way up high.
569
00:52:07,749 --> 00:52:12,004
Uh-oh. Looks like we got trouble here.
570
00:52:12,713 --> 00:52:16,174
I knew you should've explained
these things better in the menu.
571
00:52:16,341 --> 00:52:18,010
Don't be strangers now, you hear?
572
00:52:30,439 --> 00:52:31,857
What is this?
573
00:52:32,024 --> 00:52:35,986
Oh, just part of your anniversary present.
574
00:52:39,197 --> 00:52:41,408
I thought we could use
a night away from home.
575
00:52:41,575 --> 00:52:43,201
I didn't pack anything.
576
00:52:43,368 --> 00:52:45,287
I thought of that.
577
00:52:50,876 --> 00:52:52,919
You devil.
578
00:52:54,129 --> 00:52:58,133
- Are you sure you're feeling better now?
- Oh, fine. I feel great.
579
00:53:07,934 --> 00:53:10,687
This is so romantic.
580
00:53:23,158 --> 00:53:24,826
Why don't you make a fire?
581
00:53:25,118 --> 00:53:26,953
First...
582
00:53:30,749 --> 00:53:32,542
...open this.
583
00:53:35,170 --> 00:53:36,922
Go ahead, open it.
584
00:54:00,237 --> 00:54:03,990
It's my novel, Elizabeth. The Big Heist.
585
00:54:04,908 --> 00:54:07,160
The first few chapters, anyway.
586
00:54:07,327 --> 00:54:09,830
Oh, Andy.
587
00:54:10,122 --> 00:54:13,333
That manuscript is the whole reason
we moved to the country.
588
00:54:13,500 --> 00:54:15,669
It's good? You really think it's good?
589
00:54:15,836 --> 00:54:18,797
Well, read it and tell me.
590
00:54:21,174 --> 00:54:23,343
Now? Tonight?
591
00:54:24,094 --> 00:54:26,054
Yes, of course.
592
00:54:27,097 --> 00:54:28,974
What, with you watching me?
593
00:54:29,141 --> 00:54:32,018
Well, I'll make a fire and you read.
594
00:54:36,857 --> 00:54:37,858
Honey.
595
00:54:38,024 --> 00:54:40,610
Go ahead. Read. Read.
596
00:55:22,777 --> 00:55:24,404
You're not laughing.
597
00:55:25,906 --> 00:55:27,449
You didn't find that funny?
598
00:55:27,616 --> 00:55:30,577
- What, you mean the first page?
- Yeah.
599
00:55:30,952 --> 00:55:33,705
There are at least three big laughs
on that page alone.
600
00:55:34,289 --> 00:55:35,415
Look at this guy's name.
601
00:55:37,792 --> 00:55:42,297
- Andy.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
602
00:55:42,464 --> 00:55:44,633
Read the next page. It gets funnier.
603
00:55:44,799 --> 00:55:46,635
Is this a comedy?
604
00:55:47,260 --> 00:55:49,679
I thought it was, you know,
action-adventure.
605
00:55:49,846 --> 00:55:52,140
It is. It's all three.
606
00:55:52,516 --> 00:55:55,018
Read. It's great. Read.
607
00:56:10,784 --> 00:56:14,371
Andy, honey, let me read this at home.
I can't... I can't even...
608
00:56:14,538 --> 00:56:17,624
I'm sorry. I know.
You can't read while I'm here.
609
00:56:17,791 --> 00:56:20,418
- I'll tell you what.
- Where are you going?
610
00:56:20,961 --> 00:56:25,632
Well, I saw a liquor store on the corner.
I'll buy some champagne, we can celebrate.
611
00:56:25,799 --> 00:56:29,094
- ...But...
- You just stay here and read.
612
00:56:30,095 --> 00:56:31,805
I love you.
613
00:57:30,030 --> 00:57:33,366
Wait. Wait, don't tell me yet.
614
00:58:04,230 --> 00:58:07,901
Okay, I'm ready. What'd you think?
615
00:58:21,998 --> 00:58:24,250
I guess that means you don't like it.
616
00:58:27,629 --> 00:58:29,339
You think it's lousy?
617
00:58:32,550 --> 00:58:33,593
The whole thing?
618
00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:38,264
It's all those flashbacks. You never know
when anything is taking place.
619
00:58:38,431 --> 00:58:42,477
In the first 20 pages alone, I counted
three flashbacks, one flash-forward...
620
00:58:42,644 --> 00:58:45,772
...and I think on Page 8
you have a flash-sideways.
621
00:58:47,565 --> 00:58:49,192
Well, what about the story?
622
00:58:50,902 --> 00:58:52,404
The story?
623
00:58:53,238 --> 00:58:56,282
Yeah. Four poker buddies
knocking over a casino.
624
00:58:56,449 --> 00:58:58,743
The perfect crime.
625
00:59:00,954 --> 00:59:04,541
What are you saying I should do? Take out
the flashbacks? Rewrite the opening?
626
00:59:04,708 --> 00:59:06,459
I could do that.
627
00:59:08,044 --> 00:59:09,587
Then what?
628
00:59:09,754 --> 00:59:11,089
Burn it.
629
00:59:12,966 --> 00:59:15,301
You don't know what the hell
you're talking about.
630
00:59:15,468 --> 00:59:16,803
Thanks.
631
00:59:16,970 --> 00:59:21,057
You don't know a damn thing about writing.
You're a schoolteacher, not an editor.
632
00:59:21,224 --> 00:59:23,810
That's obvious. I read the whole thing.
633
00:59:23,977 --> 00:59:27,147
An editor would have stopped reading
after the first paragraph.
634
00:59:28,273 --> 00:59:32,110
Okay. You want me to burn it? Is that
what you want? You want me to burn it?
635
00:59:32,277 --> 00:59:35,447
There. I hope you're happy, Mrs. Critic!
636
00:59:35,613 --> 00:59:36,990
It's burning now, okay?
637
00:59:37,574 --> 00:59:38,992
It's burning!
638
00:59:39,159 --> 00:59:40,660
Shit!
639
00:59:41,077 --> 00:59:43,329
Oh, goddamn it.
640
00:59:45,540 --> 00:59:48,168
Ow, ow, ow.
641
00:59:54,257 --> 00:59:57,260
I'm sorry about the way
I behaved last night.
642
00:59:58,511 --> 01:00:00,930
You were just being honest.
643
01:00:02,056 --> 01:00:06,728
And it's encouraged me to try harder
and do better. For that, I thank you.
644
01:00:07,353 --> 01:00:09,522
Oh, Andy.
645
01:00:19,449 --> 01:00:20,867
Think we should put this back?
646
01:00:21,034 --> 01:00:25,079
What, are you nuts? This Sign is mint.
There's not a bullet hole in it.
647
01:00:51,064 --> 01:00:53,900
Andy. Andy, honey.
648
01:01:01,574 --> 01:01:04,244
Save your strength, sweetheart.
I'll get the mail.
649
01:01:31,229 --> 01:01:33,606
You want anything else?
How about some apple pie?
650
01:01:33,773 --> 01:01:38,069
No, thanks. I'm just gonna sit here
by the fire and relax.
651
01:01:38,570 --> 01:01:40,738
Well, can I bring you
a cup of coffee, then?
652
01:01:43,032 --> 01:01:45,577
All right. Good.
653
01:02:09,893 --> 01:02:11,978
Here we go.
654
01:02:12,979 --> 01:02:15,148
Hot. Hot.
655
01:02:16,941 --> 01:02:18,860
Here, honey.
656
01:02:19,819 --> 01:02:21,654
Thank you.
657
01:02:25,950 --> 01:02:27,243
I have good news, Andy.
658
01:02:27,410 --> 01:02:30,830
You do? Well, let's hear it.
I'm always in the mood for good news.
659
01:02:33,583 --> 01:02:34,834
Look.
660
01:02:36,794 --> 01:02:38,880
A check for $5,000 made out to you?
661
01:02:39,047 --> 01:02:41,507
Isn't it wonderful? I sold a book.
662
01:02:42,300 --> 01:02:43,343
What book?
663
01:02:43,676 --> 01:02:45,678
A book I wrote.
664
01:02:46,512 --> 01:02:49,223
Five thousand,
is that much for a first book?
665
01:02:49,933 --> 01:02:51,184
When did you write a book?
666
01:02:52,143 --> 01:02:56,064
Well, at odd times. You know,
a little bit here, a little bit there.
667
01:02:56,230 --> 01:02:58,191
I wrote it out longhand on legal pads.
668
01:02:58,358 --> 01:03:01,611
Then I Federal Expressed it to an address
I found in your magazine.
669
01:03:01,778 --> 01:03:04,864
And then today when I collected the mail,
there was an envelope...
670
01:03:05,031 --> 01:03:07,367
...and in it was a contract, a check...
671
01:03:07,533 --> 01:03:11,371
...and a typed version of my manuscript.
672
01:03:13,748 --> 01:03:16,334
- I can hardly believe it.
- Me too.
673
01:03:16,501 --> 01:03:19,212
The publisher wants to know
if I have any others.
674
01:03:19,379 --> 01:03:22,465
- You wrote a book and then you sold it?
- Yeah.
675
01:03:22,632 --> 01:03:25,551
- Well, what's it about?
- Animals.
676
01:03:25,885 --> 01:03:28,805
- Squirrels, mostly.
- Squirrels?
677
01:03:29,013 --> 01:03:32,225
- What kind of book is that?
- A children's book.
678
01:03:33,226 --> 01:03:35,895
A children's book? Oh, a children's book.
679
01:03:36,270 --> 01:03:38,022
What did you think I wrote, a novel?
680
01:03:38,189 --> 01:03:41,317
I didn't know. That's wonderful.
Congratulations.
681
01:03:41,484 --> 01:03:44,821
- Oh, thank you.
- I'm so proud of you. That's wonderful.
682
01:03:44,988 --> 01:03:47,865
- Are you, honey? Are you really?
- Of course.
683
01:03:48,032 --> 01:03:52,120
Because I thought you might feel
a little bit jealous or threatened.
684
01:03:52,286 --> 01:03:54,664
Me? Are you kidding?
685
01:03:55,832 --> 01:03:58,334
So tell me, these squirrels,
do they have adventures?
686
01:03:58,501 --> 01:04:00,211
Oh, yeah. It's so great.
687
01:04:00,378 --> 01:04:04,090
It's about a squirrel from Central Park
who falls asleep in a delivery truck...
688
01:04:04,257 --> 01:04:06,926
...and wakes up in the country.
689
01:04:07,093 --> 01:04:11,264
He has some funny misadventures
and he makes all kinds of mistakes...
690
01:04:11,431 --> 01:04:14,225
...because he's from the city, right...
691
01:04:14,392 --> 01:04:17,020
...and now he's completely
out of his element.
692
01:04:19,397 --> 01:04:21,107
It's a fish-out-of—water story.
693
01:04:23,484 --> 01:04:25,153
This squirrel is me, isn't it?
694
01:04:25,445 --> 01:04:28,364
No. No, I wouldn't say that.
695
01:04:29,282 --> 01:04:30,616
What's his name?
696
01:04:32,702 --> 01:04:33,786
Andy.
697
01:04:35,455 --> 01:04:36,789
I'm a son of a bitch.
698
01:04:36,956 --> 01:04:40,793
No, honey. Please don't be upset.
It's really very flattering.
699
01:04:40,960 --> 01:04:45,006
You were my inspiration.
This is a tribute to you.
700
01:04:46,340 --> 01:04:48,885
- I'd like to read it.
- And you shall.
701
01:04:49,052 --> 01:04:50,803
You shall.
702
01:04:51,471 --> 01:04:53,097
Oh, and one more thing.
703
01:04:54,348 --> 01:04:57,852
Would you mind, Andy, if I used
the typewriter for a little bit tonight?
704
01:04:58,019 --> 01:05:02,982
I have some ideas for a second story I wanna
get down before they fly out of my head.
705
01:05:03,149 --> 01:05:04,734
Oh, sure.
706
01:05:04,901 --> 01:05:08,529
It'll go much faster on the typewriter.
That is, if you don't mind, of course.
707
01:05:08,696 --> 01:05:10,448
Okay, let me straighten up a little.
708
01:05:25,171 --> 01:05:28,841
You know, I'm starting to enjoy the idea
of both of us being writers.
709
01:05:29,467 --> 01:05:31,677
It's in the great tradition of...
710
01:05:32,595 --> 01:05:34,472
...what's-his-name and his wife.
711
01:05:40,561 --> 01:05:41,854
Where'd you get that?
712
01:05:42,021 --> 01:05:43,523
Mrs. Dinges' antique shop.
713
01:05:43,689 --> 01:05:46,901
He's what gave me the idea
to write the book in the first place.
714
01:05:47,068 --> 01:05:49,153
I thought I was your inspiration.
715
01:05:49,320 --> 01:05:52,073
It was the combination of the two.
716
01:05:52,240 --> 01:05:54,909
What I did, Andy,
was use the entire town.
717
01:05:55,076 --> 01:05:58,037
There's a great big old hedgehog
based on Sheriff Ledbetter.
718
01:05:58,204 --> 01:06:01,290
There's two crazy raccoons that remind me
of those Criterion brothers.
719
01:06:01,457 --> 01:06:03,042
Ooh! Remember that strange man...?
720
01:06:03,209 --> 01:06:06,671
But the squirrel, Andy,
he's the main character, isn't he?
721
01:06:07,213 --> 01:06:09,549
Well, yes, of course.
722
01:06:11,551 --> 01:06:16,514
So, what kind of cute things will old Andy
the squirrel be up to in the next book?
723
01:06:16,681 --> 01:06:20,726
...Maybe you should read the
manuscript first. —I will, I will.
724
01:06:20,893 --> 01:06:23,563
I was just wondering
what's in store for Andy next.
725
01:06:23,729 --> 01:06:26,482
Well, actually, he doesn't make it
into the second book.
726
01:06:28,109 --> 01:06:29,152
Why not?
727
01:06:29,318 --> 01:06:32,488
He gets run over by a truck
at the end of the first book.
728
01:07:49,649 --> 01:07:52,568
Do you have any idea what time it is?
729
01:08:09,377 --> 01:08:11,671
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
730
01:08:17,885 --> 01:08:19,971
All right. All right. Okay.
731
01:08:22,181 --> 01:08:24,016
Shovel it.
732
01:08:31,357 --> 01:08:33,818
Let's see Memorial Cemetery bill me now.
733
01:08:41,993 --> 01:08:43,828
Thanks, fellas.
734
01:08:45,246 --> 01:08:47,540
- See you tomorrow.
- Okay, Andy.
735
01:08:47,707 --> 01:08:49,292
Thanks, boss.
736
01:08:49,709 --> 01:08:51,752
Come on, come on.
737
01:09:19,572 --> 01:09:22,158
It's 1:00 in the afternoon, Andy.
738
01:09:24,035 --> 01:09:27,288
I'm taking the truck into town.
I need some supplies.
739
01:09:27,455 --> 01:09:30,249
And I wanna drop in on Mrs. Dinges.
740
01:09:33,711 --> 01:09:35,504
What's going on, Andy?
741
01:09:35,671 --> 01:09:37,590
Is this what you wanna do with your life?
742
01:09:37,757 --> 01:09:41,802
Sleep all day long and hang out
with the Criterion brothers?
743
01:09:44,013 --> 01:09:47,099
You're sinking into a pit of self-pity,
defeatism and alcohol...
744
01:09:47,266 --> 01:09:49,226
...and you're enjoying it.
745
01:09:51,979 --> 01:09:54,190
You'll see me when you see me.
746
01:10:31,352 --> 01:10:32,478
Come on. Come on.
747
01:10:34,105 --> 01:10:35,231
Come on.
748
01:10:38,317 --> 01:10:39,735
Shit.
749
01:10:47,451 --> 01:10:49,453
What the hell do you think you're doing?
750
01:10:49,787 --> 01:10:53,040
Are you nuts?
What were you honking at?
751
01:10:53,332 --> 01:10:56,335
- Are you Mr. Farmer? Mr. Andy Farmer?
- What?
752
01:10:56,502 --> 01:10:57,795
Yes, I am. Why?
753
01:10:57,962 --> 01:11:00,714
We've been trying to contact you
for some time, Mr. Farmer.
754
01:11:00,881 --> 01:11:02,299
My name is Michael Sinclair.
755
01:11:03,717 --> 01:11:05,719
Wait. Shut up a minute. Listen.
756
01:11:05,886 --> 01:11:07,763
Shit. Give me a hand with this.
757
01:11:10,391 --> 01:11:14,103
Come on! Get over here and push. Now!
758
01:11:18,732 --> 01:11:21,277
May I ask what the point of this is?
759
01:11:21,485 --> 01:11:23,863
Just keep pushing. You'll see.
760
01:11:28,033 --> 01:11:30,161
- Hurry up, he's coming.
- Yes.
761
01:11:30,327 --> 01:11:32,121
Who? Who's coming?
762
01:11:32,288 --> 01:11:33,873
Okay, this is good.
763
01:11:34,039 --> 01:11:37,293
- Hold it steady till I say.
- I don't think I can hold it much longer.
764
01:11:37,460 --> 01:11:40,212
Sure you can. Sure you can.
765
01:11:40,629 --> 01:11:42,339
- You're doing just fine.
- Mr. Farmer.
766
01:11:42,506 --> 01:11:44,550
May I know what we're doing?
767
01:11:44,717 --> 01:11:46,969
- When I give you the signal, let it go.
- But Mr. Farmer...
768
01:11:47,136 --> 01:11:48,888
Shh! Quiet.
769
01:11:51,015 --> 01:11:52,683
- Now! Let it go.
- I can't.
770
01:11:52,850 --> 01:11:56,479
- Now, goddamn it!
- I can't! I can't! I can't!
771
01:12:03,068 --> 01:12:04,612
Shit!
772
01:12:08,824 --> 01:12:10,951
We could have nailed him.
773
01:12:11,118 --> 01:12:12,828
We could have had him dead center.
774
01:12:19,168 --> 01:12:22,421
- Who are you anyway?
- I told you who I was.
775
01:12:22,588 --> 01:12:24,173
I'm Michael Sinclair.
776
01:12:25,382 --> 01:12:27,676
From Hufnagel and...
777
01:12:27,843 --> 01:12:31,305
...Brown. Your publisher, Mr. Farmer.
778
01:12:31,472 --> 01:12:34,934
- What are you doing here?
- Your deadline, the first installment.
779
01:12:35,100 --> 01:12:38,562
- Deadline?
- Three weeks ago, actually.
780
01:12:38,729 --> 01:12:42,483
We didn't hear from you.
Mr. Farmer, our letters went unanswered.
781
01:12:42,650 --> 01:12:47,780
Look, I know all of this must seem crazy,
but you'll just have to trust me on this.
782
01:12:47,947 --> 01:12:51,450
There's absolutely nothing
out of the ordinary happening here.
783
01:12:51,617 --> 01:12:53,118
Yes.
784
01:12:57,289 --> 01:12:59,083
Sorry about your car.
785
01:12:59,959 --> 01:13:01,252
A rental?
786
01:13:01,418 --> 01:13:03,462
I just bought it.
787
01:13:03,629 --> 01:13:05,548
Let's just forget about the deadline.
788
01:13:05,714 --> 01:13:09,134
Return the advance money
and we'll call it even.
789
01:13:09,301 --> 01:13:12,721
What, give the money back?
I've been working.
790
01:13:12,888 --> 01:13:15,975
I've got stuff down on paper,
right in my house.
791
01:13:16,141 --> 01:13:19,061
Come up and look at it. It's great stuff.
792
01:13:50,134 --> 01:13:51,844
Here, take this.
793
01:13:52,303 --> 01:13:56,140
It's not the novel, but it shows
I've been working. I think you'll like it.
794
01:13:56,307 --> 01:13:57,683
Please take it.
795
01:13:58,100 --> 01:14:00,603
You'll be hearing from us, Mr. Farmer.
Good day.
796
01:14:27,463 --> 01:14:28,589
Hello?
797
01:14:28,756 --> 01:14:31,967
- Hello? Farmer residence?
- Yes.
798
01:14:32,134 --> 01:14:34,928
Well, I finally made it.
799
01:14:35,095 --> 01:14:37,890
Getting through to Redbud is
no easy business.
800
01:14:38,057 --> 01:14:39,725
Is Mr. Farmer there?
801
01:14:39,892 --> 01:14:41,935
No, he's...
802
01:14:43,103 --> 01:14:46,690
Well, he's still sleeping actually.
This is his wife. Can I help you?
803
01:14:46,857 --> 01:14:49,568
This is Michael Sinclair, Mrs. Farmer...
804
01:14:49,735 --> 01:14:51,654
...from Hufnagel and Brown...
805
01:14:51,820 --> 01:14:55,240
- ...your husband's publishing house.
- Oh, yes.
806
01:14:55,407 --> 01:14:58,577
Would you mind passing along
to your husband my apologies?
807
01:14:58,744 --> 01:15:01,413
I've been dealing with writers
for 15 years.
808
01:15:01,580 --> 01:15:06,085
You'd think I'd be used to
their eccentricities by now.
809
01:15:06,251 --> 01:15:09,421
Anyway, I acted like a fool
and I apologize.
810
01:15:09,755 --> 01:15:12,007
Your husband's a very talented man.
811
01:15:12,174 --> 01:15:13,634
Thank you.
812
01:15:13,801 --> 01:15:15,052
But how did you know?
813
01:15:15,219 --> 01:15:17,763
Believe me, Mrs. Farmer, I know.
814
01:15:17,930 --> 01:15:20,015
I have in front of me a manuscript...
815
01:15:20,182 --> 01:15:22,685
...that is simply wonderful.
816
01:15:22,851 --> 01:15:25,396
- It's fresh, it's original.
- You like it?
817
01:15:25,562 --> 01:15:28,357
We love it. And we want to put it out.
818
01:15:28,857 --> 01:15:31,151
Andy Will be thrilled.
819
01:15:31,527 --> 01:15:34,822
We don't actually publish children's books
here at Hufnagel.
820
01:15:34,988 --> 01:15:37,282
- But we have a subsidiary...
- Wait a minute.
821
01:15:37,449 --> 01:15:40,285
- Did you say "children's book"?
- Yes.
822
01:15:40,452 --> 01:15:44,373
Didn't he submit a book about
four poker buddies knocking over a casino?
823
01:15:45,040 --> 01:15:47,167
A casino?
824
01:15:47,334 --> 01:15:50,879
No. No, this book is about squirrels.
825
01:15:53,132 --> 01:15:54,967
Mrs. Farmer?
826
01:15:55,259 --> 01:15:57,136
Mrs. Farmer, are you there?
827
01:15:58,387 --> 01:15:59,930
Hello?
828
01:16:15,529 --> 01:16:18,240
- What's up?
- What's it look like?
829
01:16:18,449 --> 01:16:19,908
I'm leaving.
830
01:16:20,075 --> 01:16:21,535
And I want a divorce.
831
01:16:21,702 --> 01:16:24,872
- What's wrong?
- How could you?
832
01:16:25,330 --> 01:16:29,543
Have you no shame?
Have you actually sunk this low?
833
01:16:30,669 --> 01:16:32,171
What are you talking about?
834
01:16:32,337 --> 01:16:35,507
Your publisher just called.
He just loves the book you gave him.
835
01:16:35,674 --> 01:16:37,593
My book!
836
01:16:37,760 --> 01:16:41,096
What, were you drunk again?
Or just desperate?
837
01:16:42,890 --> 01:16:47,019
How could you do something
so pathetic and underhanded'?
838
01:16:47,186 --> 01:16:48,854
Underhanded?
839
01:16:49,021 --> 01:16:51,273
What do you call writing a book
behind my back...
840
01:16:51,440 --> 01:16:53,567
...all the while telling me mine stinks?
841
01:16:53,901 --> 01:16:56,195
Talk about underhanded. Huh?
What about that?
842
01:16:58,947 --> 01:17:01,074
You're not taking the typewriter.
843
01:17:01,366 --> 01:17:05,078
I don't want your typewriter, Andy.
You keep it.
844
01:17:05,245 --> 01:17:08,415
Maybe you'll find a use for it someday.
845
01:17:09,666 --> 01:17:10,876
What about the apple?
846
01:17:11,502 --> 01:17:13,378
What apple?
847
01:17:13,545 --> 01:17:15,088
"What apple?"
848
01:17:15,255 --> 01:17:17,591
You know very well what apple.
The last apple.
849
01:17:17,758 --> 01:17:22,346
The one you ate when we were practically
starving. After you ate the last banana!
850
01:17:23,388 --> 01:17:24,556
Are you serious?
851
01:17:24,723 --> 01:17:27,392
Don't try to deny it.
I stepped on the core!
852
01:17:27,559 --> 01:17:28,769
Don't worry.
853
01:17:28,936 --> 01:17:34,316
I'm willing to concede that our marriage
has been just a series of mutual betrayals.
854
01:17:34,483 --> 01:17:37,861
I know it, you know it,
and Yellow Dog knows it!
855
01:17:38,028 --> 01:17:40,989
Yellow Dog doesn't even know
what town he lives in!
856
01:17:41,156 --> 01:17:43,909
I'm taking this truck
and I'm moving in with Mrs. Dinges!
857
01:17:44,076 --> 01:17:45,536
Good!
858
01:17:48,413 --> 01:17:50,082
Out!
859
01:17:50,249 --> 01:17:52,084
Scram! Beat it!
860
01:18:01,468 --> 01:18:04,888
Don't forget your pal, Andy!
861
01:18:18,026 --> 01:18:19,486
All right, then.
862
01:18:19,653 --> 01:18:24,741
We've come together in the matter
of Farmer v. Farmer.
863
01:18:24,908 --> 01:18:28,036
Mrs. Farmer, you're beginning
divorce proceedings...
864
01:18:28,203 --> 01:18:32,040
- ...against your husband, correct?
- Who wants the house?
865
01:18:32,207 --> 01:18:33,625
- I don't.
- Not me.
866
01:18:34,209 --> 01:18:37,379
Well, at least you're both
in agreement on something.
867
01:18:37,546 --> 01:18:40,257
Marion, when's the next
available court date?
868
01:18:40,424 --> 01:18:44,553
We have to go to court? GUS: We
are merely attorneys, Mrs. Farmer...
869
01:18:44,720 --> 01:18:49,016
...handmaidens of the law.
Only a judge can dissolve a marriage.
870
01:18:49,182 --> 01:18:51,059
A circuit judge will be here
next month...
871
01:18:51,226 --> 01:18:54,479
...but that's when we go to trial
on your personal injury, it seems.
872
01:18:54,646 --> 01:18:57,649
Wait a minute. You represent him
in another matter?
873
01:18:57,983 --> 01:18:59,234
Yes, sir.
874
01:18:59,401 --> 01:19:02,487
- Isn't that a conflict of interest?
- Not in my book.
875
01:19:02,654 --> 01:19:05,782
Okay. How about
the first week in February?
876
01:19:06,450 --> 01:19:08,285
July would be better for me.
877
01:19:08,452 --> 01:19:10,746
July is seven months away.
878
01:19:11,705 --> 01:19:14,499
- Were you in a rush?
- Excuse us just a minute.
879
01:19:18,337 --> 01:19:21,048
You gotta get this ceiling
painted sometime, Marion.
880
01:19:24,509 --> 01:19:27,429
Move to carry. The town of Redbud
will seek official accreditation...
881
01:19:27,596 --> 01:19:30,057
...as the acorn capital of the world.
882
01:19:30,682 --> 01:19:34,269
Last on the agenda, Elizabeth and
Andy Farmer have requested permission...
883
01:19:34,436 --> 01:19:36,438
...to address the council.
884
01:19:36,605 --> 01:19:39,900
As the current lamb-fry record holder...
885
01:19:40,067 --> 01:19:43,195
...I'm sure Mr. Farmer
is familiar to you all.
886
01:19:54,539 --> 01:19:57,042
- Why don't you sit down?
- Cut it out.
887
01:19:58,377 --> 01:20:01,546
Thank you, Mayor Barclay,
members of the council.
888
01:20:03,256 --> 01:20:05,592
Citizens of Redbud.
889
01:20:07,552 --> 01:20:09,012
We came to Redbud...
890
01:20:09,179 --> 01:20:12,933
...filled with hopes and dreams
for a better life and a better place.
891
01:20:13,100 --> 01:20:16,061
And basically, we've seen
those hopes and dreams...
892
01:20:16,228 --> 01:20:19,231
...shattered and crushed
before our very eyes.
893
01:20:20,232 --> 01:20:25,278
Now, I'm not saying it's entirely your fault.
We're as much to blame for this as you.
894
01:20:25,612 --> 01:20:27,155
Well, maybe more like 60-40...
895
01:20:27,322 --> 01:20:30,033
...but we didn't come down here
to quibble over percentages.
896
01:20:30,200 --> 01:20:32,285
- What did you come here for?
- Sit down.
897
01:20:33,036 --> 01:20:35,706
We came here to ask your help
in selling our house.
898
01:20:40,085 --> 01:20:41,586
There's money in this for you.
899
01:20:44,089 --> 01:20:47,009
Sit down. We can at least listen.
900
01:20:53,724 --> 01:20:55,142
Sit down.
901
01:20:55,308 --> 01:20:57,352
Thank you very much.
902
01:20:58,228 --> 01:21:00,647
My wife, Elizabeth.
903
01:21:05,318 --> 01:21:09,406
These are Saturday Evening Post
magazines from the '303 and the '403.
904
01:21:09,573 --> 01:21:14,453
The covers of these magazines were
painted by a man named Norman Rockwell.
905
01:21:16,580 --> 01:21:19,624
Norman Rockwell knew a thing or two
about small-town life.
906
01:21:20,000 --> 01:21:22,794
Normal small-town life.
907
01:21:23,628 --> 01:21:28,133
He knew how people looked,
what they did, how they dressed.
908
01:21:28,300 --> 01:21:30,177
And that's what we want from you.
909
01:21:30,343 --> 01:21:33,221
We want you to look and dress and act...
910
01:21:33,388 --> 01:21:37,225
...just like the people
on the covers of these magazines.
911
01:21:37,809 --> 01:21:39,478
So...
912
01:21:40,145 --> 01:21:42,773
Pass them out amongst yourselves.
913
01:21:42,939 --> 01:21:46,234
Look at them. Study them.
914
01:21:46,401 --> 01:21:47,861
Take them home, if you wish.
915
01:21:48,028 --> 01:21:51,490
But be careful, they're on loan
from Mrs. Dinges' antique shop.
916
01:21:51,656 --> 01:21:56,244
Hold on, now, Mrs. Farmer.
Did we hear some mention of money?
917
01:21:56,411 --> 01:21:59,664
Within 24 hours of the close of escrow
on our property...
918
01:21:59,831 --> 01:22:05,962
...we will present to the town of Redbud
a check in the amount of $15,000.
919
01:22:08,507 --> 01:22:11,843
Also, a bonus of $50 each...
920
01:22:12,010 --> 01:22:13,804
...to any individual who performs...
921
01:22:13,970 --> 01:22:17,724
...a specific act of
traditional small-town behavior...
922
01:22:17,891 --> 01:22:20,227
...in the presence
of the prospective buyers.
923
01:22:24,272 --> 01:22:29,152
Leave it to me, Andy and Elizabeth.
I'll ram this project home.
924
01:22:31,863 --> 01:22:36,201
Now, how much notice do you think
you'll need to start acting normal?
925
01:22:53,218 --> 01:22:54,803
Here they come.
926
01:23:18,243 --> 01:23:20,912
They're going around front. Good.
927
01:23:32,757 --> 01:23:35,051
Oh, Bud.
928
01:23:35,218 --> 01:23:39,681
It's perfect.
It's just what we're looking for.
929
01:23:41,349 --> 01:23:44,102
Oh, look, honey, ducks.
930
01:23:49,357 --> 01:23:52,027
- Cue the deer.
- Roger.
931
01:23:55,947 --> 01:23:58,074
Oh, look.
932
01:24:01,494 --> 01:24:03,288
- Great.
- Play it cool, honey.
933
01:24:03,455 --> 01:24:07,042
- Let's not let them think we're too eager.
- Yes, yes.
934
01:24:07,209 --> 01:24:08,543
Go.
935
01:24:11,838 --> 01:24:13,340
How do I look?
936
01:24:15,467 --> 01:24:17,469
The pipe's a bit much.
937
01:24:32,692 --> 01:24:36,780
- Yes?
- Hi, the Culbertsons, Bud and Betsy.
938
01:24:37,113 --> 01:24:39,616
- Oh, yeah. Please come in.
- Thank you.
939
01:24:39,783 --> 01:24:42,535
Darling, the Culbertsons are here.
940
01:24:42,702 --> 01:24:44,329
Oh!
941
01:24:44,496 --> 01:24:48,583
Didn't expect you so soon.
Andrew Farmer. Excuse the mess.
942
01:24:49,251 --> 01:24:50,585
Don't you have a dog?
943
01:24:51,503 --> 01:24:53,088
You bet.
944
01:24:53,296 --> 01:24:56,174
He's probably out somewhere
scaring up game.
945
01:24:57,092 --> 01:25:01,012
It's been a dream of ours for a long time,
moving out to the country.
946
01:25:01,429 --> 01:25:03,014
Bud's going to write a novel.
947
01:25:05,475 --> 01:25:07,060
How nice.
948
01:25:08,228 --> 01:25:10,021
Excuse me.
949
01:25:10,897 --> 01:25:12,774
This is a wonderful house to write in.
950
01:25:13,275 --> 01:25:16,236
Do you mind if I ask why you're moving?
951
01:25:18,029 --> 01:25:20,532
Well, actually we're being transferred.
952
01:25:20,699 --> 01:25:22,158
Andy's with the government.
953
01:25:22,325 --> 01:25:24,286
High-level position.
954
01:25:24,828 --> 01:25:27,122
It's all classified.
955
01:25:27,289 --> 01:25:29,207
You know how it is.
They never tell the wives...
956
01:25:56,985 --> 01:25:59,738
Mail, Mr. Farmer.
957
01:26:00,196 --> 01:26:04,200
I'll just put it right over here
on the table for you, sir.
958
01:26:04,951 --> 01:26:06,619
As usual, I weeded out...
959
01:26:06,786 --> 01:26:08,955
...all of the junk mail myself.
960
01:26:09,122 --> 01:26:13,335
Mrs. Farmer, Mrs. Petree asked me
to bring this over to you.
961
01:26:13,501 --> 01:26:18,089
It's her traditional rum-nut-plum-raisin
cake of the season.
962
01:26:18,256 --> 01:26:19,924
Thank you.
963
01:26:21,384 --> 01:26:24,220
May I present Mr. and Mrs. Culbertson?
964
01:26:25,263 --> 01:26:28,641
- Bud and Betsy.
- They're thinking of buying the house.
965
01:26:28,808 --> 01:26:31,519
Oh, is that so? Well, you won't regret it.
966
01:26:31,978 --> 01:26:36,983
But I'm really gonna be sorry
to see the Farmers go.
967
01:26:42,447 --> 01:26:45,200
Well, I'd better be going.
968
01:26:45,367 --> 01:26:50,538
Doing some ice fishing tonight. Pulling
some nice size pike out of the lake, I hear.
969
01:26:50,705 --> 01:26:52,665
Good day to you folks.
970
01:26:59,839 --> 01:27:01,299
Ice fishing?
971
01:27:01,466 --> 01:27:04,135
I thought it was a nice touch.
972
01:27:04,302 --> 01:27:06,763
But it'll cost you.
973
01:27:50,932 --> 01:27:53,685
This is gonna cost us a fortune.
974
01:27:54,102 --> 01:27:57,355
The $50 bonus was your idea.
975
01:27:57,522 --> 01:27:59,107
Little piece of heaven, isn't it, Bud?
976
01:28:00,400 --> 01:28:02,735
- Very nice. Very nice.
- Happy holidays.
977
01:28:02,902 --> 01:28:05,447
- Season's greetings.
- Merry Christmas. Ho, ho, ho.
978
01:28:05,613 --> 01:28:07,991
- Season's greetings, folks.
- Merry Christmas.
979
01:28:08,158 --> 01:28:12,245
Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas.
Ho, ho, ho.
980
01:28:12,412 --> 01:28:15,790
Merry Christmas. Andy.
981
01:28:21,379 --> 01:28:24,716
Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.
982
01:28:24,883 --> 01:28:28,887
Merry Christmas, folks. Merry Christmas.
983
01:28:29,053 --> 01:28:30,722
- Merry Christmas.
- Hello, sheriff.
984
01:28:30,889 --> 01:28:32,557
Is everything going well in Redbud?
985
01:28:32,724 --> 01:28:34,642
I was just about to take a run
to your place.
986
01:28:34,809 --> 01:28:36,853
You patrol the homes outside of town?
987
01:28:37,020 --> 01:28:38,980
Absolutely. Twice a day.
988
01:28:39,147 --> 01:28:41,900
Check for any suspicious vehicles
or persons in the area.
989
01:28:42,066 --> 01:28:44,652
If the owner is on vacation,
I try the locks.
990
01:28:44,819 --> 01:28:46,404
Pick up all the newspapers.
991
01:28:46,571 --> 01:28:50,325
- Redbud may be a small town...
- Well, keep up the good work, sheriff.
992
01:28:50,617 --> 01:28:52,744
Ivy's is open. Hungry, Bud?
993
01:28:53,495 --> 01:28:55,288
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas, sheriff.
994
01:28:55,455 --> 01:28:57,582
Merry Christmas.
995
01:28:58,082 --> 01:29:00,335
- Watch it.
- Move out of the way!
996
01:29:07,675 --> 01:29:09,636
Watch your step.
997
01:29:12,430 --> 01:29:15,683
Merry Christmas.
998
01:29:16,100 --> 01:29:17,435
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
999
01:29:17,602 --> 01:29:19,062
Merry Christmas.
1000
01:29:21,231 --> 01:29:23,733
Hey, Mom, this is fun!
1001
01:29:46,923 --> 01:29:48,633
Thank you.
1002
01:30:06,693 --> 01:30:10,530
That was just beautiful. Why don't you all
come inside for some hot cocoa and eggnog?
1003
01:30:41,019 --> 01:30:43,646
A toast to the Farmers.
We'll miss you or my name isn't...
1004
01:30:43,813 --> 01:30:47,150
- ...Otis Berryhill, 23 Redbud Road.
- To the Farmers!
1005
01:30:47,317 --> 01:30:48,776
Thank you.
1006
01:30:50,361 --> 01:30:53,448
I would like to propose a toast too,
if I may.
1007
01:30:53,656 --> 01:30:56,492
I may not be a sentimental man...
1008
01:30:56,659 --> 01:30:59,245
...but there is something
I would like to say at this time.
1009
01:30:59,412 --> 01:31:02,832
It's very hard for Elizabeth and me
to say farewell.
1010
01:31:03,625 --> 01:31:06,878
There will always be a special place
for Redbud in our hearts.
1011
01:31:09,380 --> 01:31:14,093
And I know that you will show
the new owners, whoever they may be...
1012
01:31:15,637 --> 01:31:17,972
...the same affection
that you've shown us.
1013
01:31:18,723 --> 01:31:22,935
And that they too will grow to love
this town and this house...
1014
01:31:23,102 --> 01:31:27,899
...and all of you wonderful people
just as much as we have.
1015
01:31:28,066 --> 01:31:29,233
My friends...
1016
01:31:30,860 --> 01:31:31,903
...as the saying goes:
1017
01:31:33,237 --> 01:31:34,739
Once a Redbudian...
1018
01:31:34,906 --> 01:31:37,825
Always a Redbudian.
1019
01:31:38,076 --> 01:31:40,536
And so, my friends, a toast.
1020
01:31:41,871 --> 01:31:44,290
To Redbud. ALL: To Redbud.
1021
01:31:44,457 --> 01:31:48,670
- Well, back to work. Thanks, Andy.
- Goodbye, Otis.
1022
01:31:50,672 --> 01:31:52,382
Merry Christmas.
1023
01:31:52,548 --> 01:31:54,467
- Warren Smith.
- Warren Smith.
1024
01:31:55,426 --> 01:31:57,178
- Bob Connor.
- Bob Connor.
1025
01:31:57,428 --> 01:31:59,514
- Connie Caliber.
- Connie Caliber.
1026
01:31:59,681 --> 01:32:00,932
Bill Benden.
1027
01:32:05,103 --> 01:32:08,064
No, no. No, no, no.
1028
01:32:08,231 --> 01:32:10,358
Get out of here.
1029
01:32:10,608 --> 01:32:12,402
Merry Christmas.
1030
01:32:12,777 --> 01:32:15,238
- Doris Newbury.
- Doris, hi.
1031
01:32:15,446 --> 01:32:19,492
...Elizabeth Garfield.
—Elizabeth Garfield.
1032
01:32:20,827 --> 01:32:22,453
Andy.
1033
01:32:23,037 --> 01:32:26,124
Betsy and I wanna sleep on it...
1034
01:32:26,290 --> 01:32:30,044
...but I think we'll be back in the morning
to make you an offer on the house.
1035
01:32:31,087 --> 01:32:33,715
What, tomorrow?
Well, where are you staying tonight?
1036
01:32:33,881 --> 01:32:35,883
Sid's Hideaway Bungalows.
1037
01:32:36,050 --> 01:32:38,010
No, no, stay away from town.
Stay with us.
1038
01:32:38,511 --> 01:32:42,348
- Stay in our guest room.
- Well, that's awful nice of you, Andy.
1039
01:32:42,515 --> 01:32:44,767
It's no problem at all. Happy to do it.
1040
01:32:48,229 --> 01:32:50,606
Okay, let's get our bags.
1041
01:33:47,413 --> 01:33:50,750
I love the sound of Christmas carolers.
1042
01:33:50,917 --> 01:33:52,251
Yeah.
1043
01:33:53,169 --> 01:33:55,421
They've been at it for hours.
1044
01:34:00,802 --> 01:34:04,555
You can have the bed.
I'll sleep on the floor.
1045
01:34:05,556 --> 01:34:07,642
I'm sorry about this.
1046
01:34:07,809 --> 01:34:09,894
It's only for one night.
1047
01:34:12,939 --> 01:34:14,482
You did it, Andy.
1048
01:34:14,649 --> 01:34:17,068
You really pulled it off.
1049
01:34:17,485 --> 01:34:19,737
Of course I did, Elizabeth.
1050
01:34:20,822 --> 01:34:22,990
Being a fake is what I do best.
1051
01:34:47,348 --> 01:34:49,517
That's our offer, Andy.
1052
01:35:01,362 --> 01:35:05,700
- This is more than we're asking.
- We want it all. The furniture...
1053
01:35:05,867 --> 01:35:09,287
- ...the dishes, the pots and pans.
- It's all so perfect.
1054
01:35:09,453 --> 01:35:12,081
- We want everything.
- I even want the dog.
1055
01:35:13,749 --> 01:35:17,003
Yellow Dog? You want Yellow Dog?
1056
01:35:17,211 --> 01:35:20,256
Just initial that offer on the bottom,
Andy, and we'll call it a deal.
1057
01:35:38,232 --> 01:35:41,068
I've done a lot of things
I'm ashamed of lately, Elizabeth.
1058
01:35:42,653 --> 01:35:46,240
Made a lot of mistakes.
I don't wanna make another one.
1059
01:35:52,163 --> 01:35:53,915
I don't wanna move. I like it here.
1060
01:35:57,501 --> 01:35:59,170
I don't wanna move either.
1061
01:35:59,337 --> 01:36:01,380
Hey, what is this?
1062
01:36:01,547 --> 01:36:04,425
- And I don't want a divorce.
- Neither do I.
1063
01:36:04,842 --> 01:36:07,470
- You don't?
- Of course not.
1064
01:36:08,220 --> 01:36:09,972
I don't know what I was doing.
1065
01:36:10,139 --> 01:36:12,266
You were acting so strange.
1066
01:36:13,726 --> 01:36:15,937
I know I was. I'm sorry.
1067
01:36:16,103 --> 01:36:18,022
So am I.
1068
01:36:18,189 --> 01:36:20,816
Hold it. Wait a minute here.
1069
01:36:21,067 --> 01:36:22,526
What the hell is going on?
1070
01:36:24,528 --> 01:36:25,738
What?
1071
01:36:25,905 --> 01:36:28,532
He says the house is no longer for sale.
1072
01:36:29,367 --> 01:36:30,701
Well, he can't do that.
1073
01:36:32,995 --> 01:36:35,831
He says we've decided to stay.
1074
01:36:36,749 --> 01:36:39,085
Come on, Betsy.
Let's get the hell out of here.
1075
01:36:39,919 --> 01:36:43,255
- You'll be hearing from my attorney, Farmer.
- Fuck you.
1076
01:36:43,422 --> 01:36:44,715
He says...
1077
01:36:44,882 --> 01:36:49,971
...you can contact him through
the law offices of Marion Corey, Jr.
1078
01:36:59,146 --> 01:37:00,731
Out of the way.
Get out of the way.
1079
01:37:00,898 --> 01:37:03,317
Out of the way. Out of the way.
1080
01:37:07,863 --> 01:37:09,907
Shut up!
1081
01:37:30,469 --> 01:37:32,930
Everybody gather around.
1082
01:37:33,472 --> 01:37:35,808
Gather around, everybody.
1083
01:37:38,394 --> 01:37:40,354
May I have your attention, please?
1084
01:37:42,523 --> 01:37:44,025
I have an announcement to make.
1085
01:37:44,191 --> 01:37:47,403
Sorry, Andy and Elizabeth. We let those two
get away. We'll do better next time.
1086
01:37:47,570 --> 01:37:48,946
That doesn't matter anymore.
1087
01:37:49,113 --> 01:37:51,073
I have good news.
1088
01:37:51,240 --> 01:37:54,285
We're not leaving.
We've decided to stay.
1089
01:37:55,786 --> 01:37:57,038
What about our money?
1090
01:37:58,289 --> 01:38:00,624
Well, I know that was
part of the original plan...
1091
01:38:00,791 --> 01:38:02,752
...but the circumstances have changed.
1092
01:38:02,918 --> 01:38:04,795
We still get our money, don't we?
1093
01:38:06,172 --> 01:38:08,257
Well, I'm sure that all of you...
1094
01:38:08,424 --> 01:38:11,093
...in the spirit of the joyous
Christmas season...
1095
01:38:11,260 --> 01:38:13,846
...will find it in your hearts...
1096
01:38:14,263 --> 01:38:16,015
Perhaps not.
1097
01:38:34,825 --> 01:38:35,826
All right.
1098
01:38:35,993 --> 01:38:38,496
Mayor Barclay ruled we weren't
liable for the 15 grand...
1099
01:38:38,662 --> 01:38:41,165
...since we never actually
sold the house.
1100
01:38:41,332 --> 01:38:43,501
But we decided to make good
on the $50 bonuses...
1101
01:38:43,667 --> 01:38:46,337
...which greatly improved
our relationship with the town.
1102
01:38:47,171 --> 01:38:50,091
Elizabeth, meanwhile,
has had two new books published.
1103
01:38:50,257 --> 01:38:52,927
And I've been working
for the Redbud Gazette.
1104
01:38:53,094 --> 01:38:57,098
As a novelist, I turned out to be
a pretty good sportswriter.
1105
01:38:57,348 --> 01:38:58,849
Before leaving New York...
1106
01:38:59,016 --> 01:39:01,894
...Elizabeth and I thought we knew
exactly what we were getting into.
1107
01:39:02,061 --> 01:39:05,606
Well, we were wrong
about almost everything.
1108
01:39:05,773 --> 01:39:07,775
But one thing we had right.
1109
01:39:07,942 --> 01:39:10,861
Moving to the country was
the best decision we ever made.
1110
01:39:11,028 --> 01:39:14,115
- We're tied.
- All right. Bring it in, bring it in.
1111
01:39:19,036 --> 01:39:21,205
- Safe!
- What?