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Subs by: joeshmoe. 25fps EP1C conversion by SYM
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From timings by: bRalph.
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Original subs posted on: subscene.com.
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Warning! Obscene Language Uncensored!
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Song: Bad Man's World
by Jenny Lewis.
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(phone dialing)
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(phone ringing)
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00:01:20,531 --> 00:01:23,326
(voice-mail) Hi, you've reached the
office of Dr. Stuart Price.
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Please note the office will be closed
until the 24th.
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If this is an emergency,
please try...
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00:01:27,739 --> 00:01:29,643
(phone dialing)
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00:01:29,667 --> 00:01:32,141
(phone ringing)
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00:01:32,373 --> 00:01:35,512
(voice-mail) Hi! This is Dr. Stu Price.
I'm getting married.
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So I'll be out of the
country for 2 weeks.
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I'm not sure if I'll
have cell service.
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If this is a dental emergency...
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Nothing.
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(speaking in Thai)
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00:01:49,138 --> 00:01:51,427
Daddy, please! You're not helping!
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I looked into his eyes.
Not the eyes of a man.
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The eyes of a coward.
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(speaking in Thai again)
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00:02:01,613 --> 00:02:03,360
Excuse me!
24
00:02:07,631 --> 00:02:09,310
- Bill!
- Tracy!
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00:02:09,311 --> 00:02:12,816
- I'm sorry!
- Where the hell are you?
26
00:02:15,211 --> 00:02:17,383
It happened again!
27
00:02:17,384 --> 00:02:20,014
Don't say that, please!
28
00:02:20,015 --> 00:02:22,455
No this time we really fucked up.
29
00:02:22,456 --> 00:02:25,222
Seriously! What is wrong with you three?
30
00:02:25,223 --> 00:02:28,242
So much Trace, I don't even know
where to begin.
31
00:02:28,243 --> 00:02:30,746
Oh god! How bad?
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00:02:30,747 --> 00:02:35,256
- Like, no wedding bad?
- Yeah...
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00:02:35,257 --> 00:02:37,886
a little worse than that.
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00:02:40,692 --> 00:02:44,589
THE HANGOVER PART II
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00:04:15,499 --> 00:04:17,541
ONE WEEK EARLIER
36
00:04:17,756 --> 00:04:19,183
Uh, huh.
37
00:04:20,822 --> 00:04:25,108
- You really need to floss more.
- Fuck that! That's why I come here.
38
00:04:25,237 --> 00:04:29,300
- Then you should come more than once every two years!
- Why? So you can bleed me of all my money?
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00:04:29,254 --> 00:04:31,839
I never charge you a dime, Phil!
40
00:04:32,030 --> 00:04:34,841
- Hey, how do I work the nitrous?
- Ah, you don't actually.
41
00:04:34,842 --> 00:04:37,413
Come on! Just one hit!
42
00:04:37,414 --> 00:04:40,980
Fillings look pretty good. Any other problems?
43
00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:45,137
Yeah, actually. You're getting married
in Thailand.
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00:04:45,138 --> 00:04:48,792
For starters, that's flights for me and Steph.
That's two grand right there.
45
00:04:48,793 --> 00:04:52,784
Then my mother in laws watching the kids. So
now she's got this whole new thing over my head.
46
00:04:52,785 --> 00:04:54,800
Plus, takes five days to get there.
47
00:04:54,801 --> 00:04:58,286
It's a 16 hour flight. And it's beautiful
when you get there.
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00:04:58,287 --> 00:05:00,676
- Whatever, it's a hassle!
- It is kinda far.
49
00:05:00,677 --> 00:05:03,105
Lauren's been there a week and she's
still jet lagged.
50
00:05:03,106 --> 00:05:05,722
But it's where her parents are from and
it means a lot to them.
51
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:09,046
Who gives a shit about her parents!
Her dad hates you!
52
00:05:09,047 --> 00:05:12,628
He doesn't hate me! He's just never
spoken to me...
53
00:05:12,630 --> 00:05:14,196
...I think it's a cultural thing.
54
00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:16,964
Why can't you just get married in Vegas like
you did the last time. It's so much easier.
55
00:05:16,999 --> 00:05:19,725
Why can't you just be excited for me?
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00:05:19,727 --> 00:05:21,994
This is my wedding!
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00:05:26,628 --> 00:05:30,503
- You're really happy, huh?
- I really am.
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Alright...
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...I'm happy too.
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00:05:37,407 --> 00:05:41,098
- Thank you!
- Gonna be fun.
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00:05:43,077 --> 00:05:46,388
Phil. Put the prescription pad back.
62
00:06:00,207 --> 00:06:04,515
- Thank you. You know that's a felony right?
- Fuck you, man!
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00:06:05,057 --> 00:06:08,677
- Was this right up against your scrotum?
- Yep.
64
00:06:10,540 --> 00:06:12,561
- Oh my god, I just realized.
- What?
65
00:06:12,561 --> 00:06:15,643
- I forgot to renew my passport!
- Oh no...
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00:06:15,644 --> 00:06:18,676
Good thing I did it last week. It's in
the kitchen drawer.
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00:06:19,617 --> 00:06:22,813
- You're the best!
- Hey! We're a team!
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00:06:22,814 --> 00:06:27,251
You're a good guy. Like a really good guy!
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00:06:28,437 --> 00:06:29,744
Thank you!
70
00:06:29,745 --> 00:06:33,965
- So I know you're not gonna get mad.
- Mad? What, mad at what?
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00:06:33,966 --> 00:06:37,386
Alan found out that we're going to
Thailand for Stu's wedding.
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00:06:37,387 --> 00:06:40,877
- So?
- So he's heart broken Doug. You guys are like his family!
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00:06:40,879 --> 00:06:43,815
No. Your family is like his family.
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00:06:43,816 --> 00:06:46,858
All Alan talks about is the three of you.
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00:06:46,859 --> 00:06:48,839
- And that weekend.
- Wait a second...
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00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:53,171
- Is he the one who keeps calling and hanging up?
- He does that when he's upset.
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00:06:53,172 --> 00:06:55,699
He doesn't understand why he's not invited.
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00:06:55,700 --> 00:07:00,209
Could you just run it by Stu? Just run it by him.
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00:07:00,210 --> 00:07:02,297
For me...
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00:07:04,027 --> 00:07:06,369
No fucking way! Absolutely not!
81
00:07:06,370 --> 00:07:09,286
Come on Stu, it's killing him.
82
00:07:09,287 --> 00:07:13,163
Honestly, the two of you were barely invited.
83
00:07:13,164 --> 00:07:15,968
I get it. I really do. It's just, you know what...
84
00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:18,117
Alan considers you to be one of his best friends.
85
00:07:18,118 --> 00:07:19,961
I consider Alan to be insane.
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00:07:19,962 --> 00:07:23,347
Stu, throw him a bone! We've already said he's got to
pay for everything he eats and everything he breaks.
87
00:07:23,348 --> 00:07:26,350
You know what. We should see if we can squeeze
the old man to cover the bachelor party.
88
00:07:26,351 --> 00:07:28,460
- That's good.
- I'm glad you brought that up.
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00:07:28,462 --> 00:07:32,849
- Because... this is the bachelor party!
- What?
90
00:07:32,851 --> 00:07:35,915
- What are you talking about?
- Yeah, it's my bachelor brunch!
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00:07:35,916 --> 00:07:41,065
Go crazy. Get some chocolate chip pancakes... a
lap dance from the waitress...
92
00:07:41,066 --> 00:07:45,724
That's bullshit! You can't just skip
out of a bachelor party, Stu.
93
00:07:45,725 --> 00:07:49,386
You see that? That's orange juice with
a napkin on top.
94
00:07:49,387 --> 00:07:52,063
Do you know why? So nobody will refuse me.
95
00:07:52,064 --> 00:07:54,893
Why I refuse to eat fucking cantaloupe
at a bachelor party?
96
00:07:54,894 --> 00:07:58,742
- C'mon Stu. Don't you think you're over reacting?
- No, I don't.
97
00:07:59,414 --> 00:08:04,344
I'm still putting the pieces of my broken
psyche back together.
98
00:08:04,667 --> 00:08:09,991
And you know what the glue is? Lauren!
I'm not doing anything to screw that up.
99
00:08:09,992 --> 00:08:13,131
- Oh, please. You wouldn't even be with her if it wasn't for us.
- Oh, this'll be good.
100
00:08:13,132 --> 00:08:14,778
Stu, think about it!
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00:08:14,780 --> 00:08:17,819
You ended up ditching Melissa, and two years later
you met your true soul mate.
102
00:08:17,820 --> 00:08:20,988
You take Vegas out of that equation, you
would have married a cunt.
103
00:08:22,748 --> 00:08:24,994
Oh that's ok. I'm allowed to say it. It's
a bachelor party.
104
00:08:24,995 --> 00:08:26,524
Drink up everybody.
105
00:08:26,525 --> 00:08:29,416
Oh wait, there's no alcohol! I forgot
we're at a fuckin IHOP!
106
00:08:29,417 --> 00:08:32,541
Well it's my decision and it's final, so...
how bout a toast?
107
00:08:32,542 --> 00:08:34,931
This sucks. I'm gonna wait in the car.
108
00:08:34,932 --> 00:08:37,384
- C'mon Phil, where you going?
- Doug, Doug, I just don't get it!
109
00:08:37,385 --> 00:08:40,377
He's getting married in Thailand! That's
great for him, but what about us?
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00:08:40,378 --> 00:08:43,936
You're selfish! Come on, sweetheart...
111
00:08:44,802 --> 00:08:46,729
Shame on you!
112
00:08:49,105 --> 00:08:51,891
Don't worry Stu. I will stand up for you
no matter what.
113
00:08:51,892 --> 00:08:53,120
Thank you.
114
00:08:53,121 --> 00:08:56,362
But you gotta help me out with this Alan thing.
115
00:08:58,227 --> 00:09:00,671
Guys, I can't tell you how much this means...
116
00:09:00,672 --> 00:09:04,099
Alan's been waiting for the invite ever
since he got word of the wedding.
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00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:05,450
- I'm sure he has.
- Yeah.
118
00:09:05,451 --> 00:09:08,572
Been standing outside by the mailbox every day.
119
00:09:08,573 --> 00:09:10,091
- Well that's tough.
- Yeah.
120
00:09:11,099 --> 00:09:14,562
I uh, I'm not sure he ever left Vegas.
121
00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:16,888
He really needs this.
122
00:09:17,996 --> 00:09:19,271
What?
123
00:09:19,807 --> 00:09:23,801
Sweetie, papa! You have visitors!
Go in slowly.
124
00:09:23,802 --> 00:09:26,503
Give him a chance to acclimate.
125
00:09:28,936 --> 00:09:33,287
- Hey, Alan!
- Hey, guys! Hey, Phil!
126
00:09:33,288 --> 00:09:35,105
Hey, bud!
127
00:09:36,683 --> 00:09:40,054
- You guys wanna come in?
- Sure. Absolutely.
128
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:44,319
- Hey.
- Hey.
129
00:09:45,304 --> 00:09:48,751
- Hey, Stu!
- Ok. See you on the court in half...
130
00:09:50,630 --> 00:09:54,624
- Pretty cool room, Alan!
- Thanks, Phil! My dad pays my rent.
131
00:09:54,625 --> 00:09:58,242
Alan, what the fuck! You were supposed
to delete these!
132
00:09:58,243 --> 00:10:00,095
You made a promise!
133
00:10:00,118 --> 00:10:01,261
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
134
00:10:01,558 --> 00:10:05,704
What the hell? I'm not cool with this
at all. You can't have these.
135
00:10:06,495 --> 00:10:08,499
Relax, Stu! Nobody ever comes in here.
136
00:10:08,500 --> 00:10:12,870
- A total violation of trust!
- Mother I'm done with my lunch. It's just sitting here!
137
00:10:13,719 --> 00:10:15,651
I'm sorry, honey. I'll be right up.
138
00:10:15,652 --> 00:10:18,573
- I can't believe you guys stopped by. This is really cool.
- Wait a second!
139
00:10:18,574 --> 00:10:22,018
- Al, is that Mr. Chow?
- Yeah. We still keep in touch.
140
00:10:22,019 --> 00:10:23,065
Stu!
141
00:10:23,066 --> 00:10:25,460
Chow, the guy that kidnapped us?
142
00:10:25,556 --> 00:10:27,370
He didn't kidnap us. He kidnapped Black Doug.
143
00:10:27,467 --> 00:10:28,893
Remember? It was a whole big misunderstanding.
144
00:10:29,370 --> 00:10:31,296
He's actually quite charming.
145
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:34,343
- Alan, he's a criminal.
- Excuse me, boys!
146
00:10:34,344 --> 00:10:36,133
- Hi, Linda!
- Hi, Dougie!
147
00:10:36,134 --> 00:10:38,465
I guess we don't do desert anymore. I
didn't get that memo.
148
00:10:38,466 --> 00:10:41,447
I'm sorry, darling. I'll be right back.
149
00:10:41,448 --> 00:10:43,873
Would a cupcake kill you?
150
00:10:43,874 --> 00:10:47,858
- You know, I don't think this was a good idea.
- Alan, we have a little surprise for you.
151
00:10:47,859 --> 00:10:50,814
Stu would like to invite you to his wedding.
152
00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:54,625
- Well only if you're not busy.
- Stu!
153
00:10:54,626 --> 00:10:57,074
Well maybe the Jonas Brothers are in town.
154
00:10:57,075 --> 00:10:59,844
Nope. They're in Raleigh-Durham that weekend.
155
00:11:01,110 --> 00:11:05,867
Are you really being serious, Stu?
You're inviting me?
156
00:11:08,890 --> 00:11:12,896
Yeah why not? It's gonna be fun, right?
157
00:11:13,975 --> 00:11:16,310
- Phil, are you going?
- Of course!
158
00:11:17,501 --> 00:11:20,138
Then it will be fun.
159
00:11:26,297 --> 00:11:28,504
What the fuck are you doing, man?
160
00:11:29,434 --> 00:11:33,096
It's my immunizations. It's the last day
I can do it.
161
00:11:33,097 --> 00:11:35,371
That's supposed to be done by a registered nurse.
162
00:11:35,372 --> 00:11:38,027
I'm a nurse. Just not registered.
163
00:11:38,028 --> 00:11:42,498
Stu, look at this!
I bought this cause I thought of you!
164
00:12:17,109 --> 00:12:19,493
- Hey, there he is!
- Hey, Stu!
165
00:12:19,494 --> 00:12:22,737
- Teddy! What's up? How are ya?
- Hey Stu.
166
00:12:23,888 --> 00:12:27,105
- Alright. Who's this guy, Stu?
- This is Teddy. Lauren's little brother.
167
00:12:27,106 --> 00:12:29,996
Goes to Stanford. Pre-med. This is
Phil, Alan and Doug.
168
00:12:29,997 --> 00:12:31,354
Hey, nice to meet you, man!
169
00:12:31,355 --> 00:12:33,513
Wow, Stanford? How old are you?
170
00:12:33,515 --> 00:12:37,869
- He's 17. Kind of a genius.
- Actually, I'm 16.
171
00:12:37,870 --> 00:12:41,292
I'm not a genius. My dad just had me take
the entrance exams early.
172
00:12:41,293 --> 00:12:43,573
Because you're a genius.
173
00:12:43,574 --> 00:12:46,677
- So what are you, a doctor?
- No, not yet. I'm premed.
174
00:12:46,678 --> 00:12:50,032
- Ever heard of that guy Doogie Howser?
- Yeah.
175
00:12:50,033 --> 00:12:53,400
- Well, he turned out to be a gay.
- Alan.
176
00:12:53,402 --> 00:12:55,335
It's true, I read it in Teen People.
177
00:12:55,335 --> 00:12:59,683
Right, ok... well I'm gonna grab a book or something
for the plane. You guys want anything?
178
00:12:59,683 --> 00:13:02,915
- No, thanks. I'm good.
- I would actually love a small water.
179
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:04,267
Cool.
180
00:13:06,289 --> 00:13:09,169
- What's the matter with you. He's 16 years old.
- Yeah, Alan. Take it easy!
181
00:13:09,169 --> 00:13:13,243
I'm a little confused. Is he here just to
see us off or what. How does this work?
182
00:13:13,244 --> 00:13:16,848
- How does what work?
- Is that person coming to the wedding?
183
00:13:16,849 --> 00:13:22,429
Yes Alan. My brides little brother is
coming to the wedding. Is that ok with you?
184
00:13:22,430 --> 00:13:25,898
Well, it's the first time I've heard of it.
You could have paged me.
185
00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:32,591
Don't over react. It's gonna be fine.
186
00:13:34,450 --> 00:13:38,992
- Hey. Mind if I sit?
- Wolf pack only. Find another chair.
187
00:13:38,992 --> 00:13:42,991
- There's no wolfpack, Alan. C'mon.
- It's no problem. I'll find...
188
00:13:42,992 --> 00:13:46,307
- Teddy, don't be ridiculous! You're sitting here!
- Careful, that's a Louis...
189
00:13:46,308 --> 00:13:49,288
That is a Louis Vuitton!
190
00:13:57,536 --> 00:14:03,484
- That's a nice neck roll!
- Thanks! You can use it if you want.
191
00:14:03,485 --> 00:14:05,116
Ok.
192
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:13,040
The Downeaster 'Alexa'" by Billy Joel playing
193
00:15:11,656 --> 00:15:13,298
Baby!
194
00:15:26,845 --> 00:15:31,194
This is so absolutely beautiful!
Thank you much!
195
00:15:31,195 --> 00:15:32,497
Of course.
196
00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:37,270
Between Teddy and me, you must be pretty excited.
Pretty soon you'll have 2 doctors in the family.
197
00:15:37,271 --> 00:15:41,736
You have to realize that in my country we
don't consider dentists to be real doctors.
198
00:15:41,737 --> 00:15:42,785
Dad...
199
00:15:43,341 --> 00:15:44,379
Ok.
200
00:15:44,380 --> 00:15:48,281
Anyway I have to go and talk to Teddy
about his cello performance tonight.
201
00:15:50,018 --> 00:15:51,160
Ouch!
202
00:15:51,232 --> 00:15:52,869
I'm so sorry...
203
00:15:52,870 --> 00:15:55,542
Your dad's kind of obsessed with your
brother, isn't he?
204
00:15:55,543 --> 00:15:59,124
Teddy is my dad's prize possession. It's
always been that way.
205
00:15:59,909 --> 00:16:03,126
He'll warm up, I promise! Okay?
206
00:16:03,223 --> 00:16:05,199
You can just fax it over to me. I'll
pick it up at the concierge.
207
00:16:06,814 --> 00:16:09,171
Thanks, papa! Bye bye!
208
00:16:09,172 --> 00:16:12,163
That was my dad. I'm a stay at home son.
209
00:16:12,164 --> 00:16:15,728
We were discussing your wedding gift.
He's sparing no expense.
210
00:16:16,404 --> 00:16:18,364
Oh... That's so unnecessary.
211
00:16:18,366 --> 00:16:21,208
I've been meaning to ask someone. I
notice this is a fishing village.
212
00:16:21,208 --> 00:16:23,194
Is there a Long John Silver's on
the island?
213
00:16:23,195 --> 00:16:26,123
You know. No, I don't think so. I'm so sorry.
214
00:16:26,124 --> 00:16:29,937
But, we are actually serving some
great fresh seafood.
215
00:16:29,938 --> 00:16:32,531
- Better than Long John's?
- Yes.
216
00:16:32,532 --> 00:16:35,677
- I'll be the judge of that. Enjoy your evening.
- You too. Ok.
217
00:17:11,553 --> 00:17:13,457
All right!
218
00:17:19,573 --> 00:17:21,411
Thank you, Teddy!
219
00:17:21,412 --> 00:17:24,477
The hands of a brilliant musician!
220
00:17:24,478 --> 00:17:27,100
And one day, a great surgeon.
221
00:17:28,951 --> 00:17:31,203
I admit it...
222
00:17:31,204 --> 00:17:35,083
When I first met Stu, I was not quite sold.
223
00:17:36,204 --> 00:17:42,411
He seemed unattractive. He lacked
intelligence and imagination.
224
00:17:42,412 --> 00:17:46,837
He was missing the spark you look for
in a man.
225
00:17:47,830 --> 00:17:50,877
But then I looked into Stu's eyes.
226
00:17:50,878 --> 00:17:55,448
It reminded me of my sweet brother,
Chai Yo.
227
00:17:55,449 --> 00:18:00,444
For those who do not know, Chai Yo is learning
the sailboat and lives in a group home.
228
00:18:03,343 --> 00:18:06,645
But Chai Yo loves "khao" .
229
00:18:06,645 --> 00:18:13,308
And that's when I realized, Stu is "khao".
230
00:18:13,309 --> 00:18:14,994
What is "khao"?
231
00:18:14,995 --> 00:18:18,856
"Khao" is soft white rice in luke warm water.
232
00:18:18,858 --> 00:18:21,145
It has no taste.
233
00:18:21,146 --> 00:18:26,228
We feed it to small baby and uh, very
old people.
234
00:18:26,229 --> 00:18:29,467
It is nourishment that everyone can digest.
235
00:18:29,468 --> 00:18:36,418
The world needs "khao", just as the
world needs people like Stu.
236
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:41,592
To my sweet daughter and Stu!
Congratulations!
237
00:18:41,593 --> 00:18:43,091
Cheers!
238
00:18:46,498 --> 00:18:50,474
And now I believe that Teddy has
something to say.
239
00:18:51,358 --> 00:18:55,502
Sit down! I got this.
Sit down, boy!
240
00:18:56,357 --> 00:18:59,005
That was a.. a great speech, sir!
241
00:18:59,006 --> 00:19:04,488
I like the comparison between
Stu and rice.
242
00:19:05,490 --> 00:19:09,021
I've also prepared a few words.
243
00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:11,783
Hey everybody. Here's some fun facts.
244
00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:15,242
The population in Thailand is 63 million people.
245
00:19:15,243 --> 00:19:17,894
It is twice the size of Wyoming.
246
00:19:17,895 --> 00:19:21,643
It's chief exports are textiles, footwear
and rice.
247
00:19:21,644 --> 00:19:27,490
Each year approximately 13,000 people are
killed in car accidents in Thailand.
248
00:19:27,491 --> 00:19:29,433
- The climate in Thailand...
- Alan!
249
00:19:29,434 --> 00:19:34,275
- Why don't you skip to the last card there, buddy.
- Okay. Sorry!
250
00:19:37,225 --> 00:19:39,955
None of you know Stu like I do.
251
00:19:39,956 --> 00:19:45,548
Not you... not you... not you...
252
00:19:45,549 --> 00:19:49,253
Not nobody knows Stu like I do.
253
00:19:50,218 --> 00:19:52,316
No one!
254
00:19:52,317 --> 00:19:55,936
I can't even tell you what we've been
through cause we made a pact.
255
00:19:55,937 --> 00:19:58,287
More important than blood.
256
00:19:58,288 --> 00:20:03,353
What I can tell you is this. This is
not Stu's first marriage.
257
00:20:03,355 --> 00:20:06,593
There was a whore in Las Vegas
a couple of years ago.
258
00:20:06,594 --> 00:20:08,425
Sit down...
259
00:20:10,505 --> 00:20:15,047
- Enough! He'll get over it!
- Okay. Thanks, Phil!
260
00:20:23,421 --> 00:20:25,490
In your face!
261
00:20:28,371 --> 00:20:31,902
Well that was exactly as painful as I
expected it to be.
262
00:20:31,903 --> 00:20:33,363
Sorry...
263
00:20:34,909 --> 00:20:38,236
- Oh, rice pudding! What are you doing?
- HaHa. Very funny!
264
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:40,652
Be nice, Phil! He's extra sensitive tonight.
265
00:20:40,653 --> 00:20:43,837
Get over it! He's your father in law. He's
supposed to hate you.
266
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:46,375
Come have a drink with me and the guys.
267
00:20:46,376 --> 00:20:51,041
You know... I'm really exhausted. We're
just gonna go upstairs and crash.
268
00:20:51,042 --> 00:20:54,275
C'mon, I just spoke with the manager. He's
gonna let us have a bonfire on the beach.
269
00:20:54,276 --> 00:20:56,030
That sounds fun!
270
00:20:58,019 --> 00:21:00,159
- Nyah... I'm good.
- He's tired!
271
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:03,202
Stu, one drink with your friends who
came all this way.
272
00:21:03,203 --> 00:21:06,277
- I just wanna hang out with you!
- Oh c'mon. Just go! And do me a favor.
273
00:21:06,278 --> 00:21:10,452
Take Teddy with you. He never gets to
have any fun.
274
00:21:10,453 --> 00:21:12,952
That is a great idea. Bring the kid.
275
00:21:12,952 --> 00:21:15,782
- Alright. One drink!
- Perfect.
276
00:21:15,783 --> 00:21:17,675
- See you later.
- Have fun!
277
00:21:17,676 --> 00:21:20,710
- You have the key?
- Yep, got it right here!
278
00:21:20,712 --> 00:21:23,128
I'll see you in 20 minutes!
279
00:21:25,678 --> 00:21:29,250
My uncle Roger said that he once saw
an albino polar bear.
280
00:21:29,252 --> 00:21:33,850
Really? Polar bears are white.
How would he know if it's an albino?
281
00:21:35,288 --> 00:21:37,908
This one was black.
282
00:21:39,370 --> 00:21:42,945
Did you ever think maybe it was
just a black bear?
283
00:21:45,675 --> 00:21:47,305
Whatever...
284
00:21:47,544 --> 00:21:51,627
Ok. Here we go. American beer.
285
00:21:51,628 --> 00:21:54,681
- Sealed bottle!
- Thank you. Alright!
286
00:21:56,149 --> 00:21:59,275
- I'm not really old enough to drink.
- Yeah, it's illegal.
287
00:21:59,276 --> 00:22:01,670
Would be a shame if somebody reported you.
288
00:22:01,671 --> 00:22:05,866
Nobody's reporting anybody.
It's fine Teddy. Have a little fun.
289
00:22:05,867 --> 00:22:07,258
Careful!
290
00:22:07,259 --> 00:22:11,165
What is this? Instant marshmallows?
Nice touch!
291
00:22:11,166 --> 00:22:14,231
- That was Alan's idea.
- Good thinking, Al!
292
00:22:15,244 --> 00:22:19,829
You know... I gotta hand it to you, Stu!
This place is paradise.
293
00:22:19,830 --> 00:22:21,080
Not bad, right?
294
00:22:21,081 --> 00:22:25,638
And I can't believe I'm saying this,
but I'm actually jealous of you.
295
00:22:25,639 --> 00:22:29,030
- I mean, Lauren is an angel.
- Yeah, she really is amazing.
296
00:22:29,126 --> 00:22:30,483
Wow, you guys are sweet.
297
00:22:30,675 --> 00:22:35,680
Not big breasts on her. But still, solid
rack for an Asian.
298
00:22:35,681 --> 00:22:38,587
- Sorry, Teddy, but it's true.
- That's ok.
299
00:22:38,588 --> 00:22:40,721
That is just wildly inappropriate.
300
00:22:40,722 --> 00:22:47,658
And yet... I'm really glad you're here.
All you guys. Even you Alan.
301
00:22:47,659 --> 00:22:50,901
It means a lot that you made the trip.
Thank you.
302
00:22:50,902 --> 00:22:53,464
- Wouldn't have missed it buddy.
- Great!
303
00:22:53,465 --> 00:22:56,804
Now. Can we have our one fucking beer, dad?
304
00:22:58,179 --> 00:23:00,943
Alright. Toast! C'mon stand up guys.
305
00:23:01,945 --> 00:23:03,408
Come over here, Alan!
306
00:23:05,042 --> 00:23:07,540
To Lauren and Stu!
307
00:23:07,541 --> 00:23:10,396
- You did it, buddy.
- Sure did.
308
00:23:11,086 --> 00:23:12,514
Cheers!
309
00:24:26,036 --> 00:24:28,572
What the hell...
310
00:25:05,522 --> 00:25:06,673
What?
311
00:25:31,381 --> 00:25:32,891
Phil...
312
00:25:33,806 --> 00:25:36,522
I think it happened again.
313
00:25:36,523 --> 00:25:41,523
- Alan, what the fuck did you do?
- I didn't do anything. I swear to god.
314
00:25:41,524 --> 00:25:44,880
Your hair is gone.
315
00:25:44,881 --> 00:25:49,337
No, no... up.
316
00:25:54,915 --> 00:25:57,904
Where the fuck are we?
317
00:26:05,054 --> 00:26:06,895
Phil, I'm scared.
318
00:26:17,693 --> 00:26:20,669
Stu, c'mon get up! We got a situation.
319
00:26:28,850 --> 00:26:32,974
- Oh, holy shit!
- Where are we?
320
00:26:34,992 --> 00:26:40,456
- Oh my god, Alan. Your head.
- No your head!
321
00:26:40,457 --> 00:26:44,493
- Is it bald?
- Stu, you're gonna freak out, but it's gonna be ok.
322
00:26:44,494 --> 00:26:48,265
- Why? Was it my teeth?
- Nope, it's not your teeth.
323
00:26:48,266 --> 00:26:49,779
- Are you sure?
- Yep.
324
00:26:49,780 --> 00:26:51,539
Can you see the bottom?
325
00:26:54,083 --> 00:26:59,189
Oh my god! What the fu...ck
326
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:03,358
That's good. Why don't you try to wash it off.
327
00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:08,726
It's not coming off. This is a real tattoo!
328
00:27:08,727 --> 00:27:11,925
- Alan, what did you do! Did you Roofie me?
- I didn't do anything!
329
00:27:11,926 --> 00:27:14,314
Stu, he swore to god!
330
00:27:15,692 --> 00:27:17,151
What happened?
331
00:27:20,390 --> 00:27:23,492
Get it off of me!
332
00:27:25,686 --> 00:27:28,571
- What the hell?
- It's a monkey.
333
00:27:28,571 --> 00:27:32,131
What a cute little mask. Hi little monkey.
334
00:27:32,132 --> 00:27:33,531
Alan...
335
00:27:36,934 --> 00:27:40,405
Phone! Alan, go find the phone!
336
00:27:41,305 --> 00:27:42,707
I got it!
337
00:27:43,754 --> 00:27:46,871
- Doug, where the hell are you?
- I'm at breakfast. By the pool.
338
00:27:46,872 --> 00:27:50,927
- You guys coming down or what?
- Oh Jesus. Thank god. Doug's fine.
339
00:27:50,929 --> 00:27:54,975
- Stu, Doug's fine. He's at the resort.
- Why aren't we at the resort.
340
00:27:54,975 --> 00:27:56,541
What's going on? Where are you guys?
341
00:27:56,543 --> 00:28:00,449
I do not know, man! We woke up
in some shit hole room in some city.
342
00:28:00,450 --> 00:28:03,977
- Oh god. What city?
- I don't know, Doug!
343
00:28:03,978 --> 00:28:06,612
Fuckin Asia-town.
344
00:28:06,613 --> 00:28:09,646
- I do not know, I told you.
- Where are we?
345
00:28:14,656 --> 00:28:17,409
- Hey Stu.
- What?
346
00:28:17,410 --> 00:28:19,861
Check this out.
347
00:28:19,862 --> 00:28:23,489
Ever seen anything like this?
348
00:28:29,619 --> 00:28:33,437
- What is that?
- Careful. Might be a spiders nest.
349
00:28:33,438 --> 00:28:35,935
I've tangled with those before.
350
00:28:35,936 --> 00:28:40,951
I don't get it man. We each had one beer
last night, right? I mean you too!
351
00:28:40,952 --> 00:28:44,457
- Yeah but I left early, remember?
- I don't remember shit!
352
00:28:44,458 --> 00:28:47,355
Tracy wasn't feeling well. She came
down to get me.
353
00:28:47,356 --> 00:28:51,402
- Wait and second. Is Teddy with you guys?
- Teddy? What? What are you talking about?
354
00:28:51,403 --> 00:28:54,101
He wasn't in his room. They've been
looking for him all morning.
355
00:28:54,102 --> 00:28:56,973
- Teddy went to Stanford, right?
- Yeah. Why?
356
00:28:56,974 --> 00:28:58,806
Fuck!
357
00:29:00,423 --> 00:29:03,284
- I just found his finger!
- What?
358
00:29:03,970 --> 00:29:08,675
- I just found his fucking finger, Doug!
- Phil, what is going on?
359
00:29:09,105 --> 00:29:12,877
Alright. Alright, alright... this is
what we're gonna do.
360
00:29:12,878 --> 00:29:16,059
You tell the girls that we woke up early and went
on a fishing trip, ok. And that's where we are.
361
00:29:16,060 --> 00:29:19,091
- Right.
- Right, stay by the phone!
362
00:29:20,129 --> 00:29:22,129
Shit!
363
00:29:24,757 --> 00:29:27,583
Uh, we got a little bit of a problem.
364
00:29:28,394 --> 00:29:30,301
What is that?
365
00:29:30,828 --> 00:29:32,673
We don't know.
366
00:29:33,335 --> 00:29:37,703
- Is it a worm?
- It's a mushroom.
367
00:29:38,917 --> 00:29:41,107
Yeah, shiitake.
368
00:29:41,618 --> 00:29:44,626
Monkey, taste it! Is it shiitake?
369
00:29:44,627 --> 00:29:49,013
- He can't understand you.
- He just did.
370
00:29:49,014 --> 00:29:52,297
- Why is he pulling on it?
- He's probably hungry.
371
00:29:52,298 --> 00:29:54,760
Wait a second. Is that...
372
00:29:54,761 --> 00:29:59,581
What the fuck man. Tell that gay monkey
to leave my shit alone.
373
00:29:59,582 --> 00:30:00,919
Chow?
374
00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:03,799
You're fucking crazy.
375
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:09,527
It's so fucking light in here!
Alan, grab me my sunglasses!
376
00:30:09,529 --> 00:30:14,372
- It's great to see you, Leslie!
- Nice to see you too my little popo.
377
00:30:14,373 --> 00:30:16,302
Chow, what the fuck are you doing here?
378
00:30:16,302 --> 00:30:19,786
Alan called me a few days ago and
invited me to the wedding.
379
00:30:19,787 --> 00:30:21,979
- Excuse me?
- What, he's my plus one.
380
00:30:21,980 --> 00:30:24,586
You don't have plus one. It's $200 a plate.
381
00:30:24,587 --> 00:30:27,615
Guys, guys. Just focus, ok.
Chow, what happened?
382
00:30:27,616 --> 00:30:32,076
You guys texted me, said you're fucked
up and looking to party.
383
00:30:37,972 --> 00:30:41,151
I picked you up on my boat and I brought
you here to Bangkok.
384
00:30:41,152 --> 00:30:43,750
But we had a sick night, bitches!
385
00:30:43,751 --> 00:30:48,661
Wait a second Chow, we're in Bangkok?
386
00:30:48,662 --> 00:30:51,867
Holler, city of squalor.
387
00:30:51,868 --> 00:30:56,566
- Do you know how I got this tattoo?
- Uh, yeah from a fucking tattoo guy!
388
00:30:56,567 --> 00:30:59,599
Come on Stu, use that big Jewish brain.
389
00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:01,575
What's the monkey holding?
390
00:31:03,990 --> 00:31:07,957
- That's a finger!
- Stu, I got some bad news.
391
00:31:07,958 --> 00:31:12,374
Teddy was with us last night.
That's his finger.
392
00:31:13,662 --> 00:31:18,837
- Teddy's dead?
- Teddy's not dead! He partied with us all night!
393
00:31:18,839 --> 00:31:22,482
- Well then where is he?
- Don't you remember anything?
394
00:31:22,483 --> 00:31:25,767
- No!
- No, nothing, Chow.
395
00:31:25,768 --> 00:31:28,842
Ok I explain it all, ok?
396
00:31:28,843 --> 00:31:33,672
Just let me do one bump, get my head straight.
Come to papa.
397
00:31:33,673 --> 00:31:36,091
That's a big...
398
00:31:41,088 --> 00:31:45,155
You ready for craziest fucking story ever...
399
00:31:54,477 --> 00:31:55,938
Chow!
400
00:31:57,772 --> 00:32:00,965
Hey Chow, you okay?
401
00:32:02,272 --> 00:32:05,138
You gotta be kidding me.
402
00:32:10,030 --> 00:32:12,542
Fuck, he's dead!
403
00:32:17,909 --> 00:32:19,157
- Help!
- Stu!
404
00:32:19,915 --> 00:32:23,100
- Help!
- Stu, shut up!
405
00:32:23,101 --> 00:32:25,898
- Call an ambulance!
- Shut up! He's dead!
406
00:32:25,899 --> 00:32:28,686
Look if someone comes and finds a dead
body and a pile of cocaine...
407
00:32:28,687 --> 00:32:32,070
We're gonna spend the rest of our fucking
lives in a Thai prison.
408
00:32:32,726 --> 00:32:35,355
Alan! Please don't cry!
409
00:32:36,660 --> 00:32:41,420
Alright. Alright. I just need a second to
figure this out.
410
00:32:56,466 --> 00:32:58,997
ICE MACHINE LOCATED ON 15TH FLOOR.
411
00:33:13,620 --> 00:33:15,640
Look, this is the worst idea, ever.
412
00:33:15,641 --> 00:33:17,425
What the fuck is this place?
413
00:33:17,426 --> 00:33:21,070
Bangkok is the capital of Thailand. Its
population is 12 million people...
414
00:33:21,071 --> 00:33:23,708
Alan, will you help!
415
00:33:29,289 --> 00:33:32,576
- The elevator!
- I'll get the button!
416
00:33:35,308 --> 00:33:39,042
- What the fuck is the deal with this monkey?
- That monkey gets it!
417
00:33:40,418 --> 00:33:41,965
- Come on!
- Fuck no!
418
00:33:41,966 --> 00:33:44,885
The powers out. We gotta take the stairs.
419
00:33:44,886 --> 00:33:46,261
- Oh fuck!
- Come on!
420
00:33:51,601 --> 00:33:53,270
Here it is!
421
00:33:53,741 --> 00:33:57,085
Feet first. I've done this before.
422
00:34:02,265 --> 00:34:04,180
Careful!
423
00:34:22,809 --> 00:34:25,341
- Stu!
- What?
424
00:34:27,313 --> 00:34:31,029
- We still have to find Teddy!
- Oh god.
425
00:34:38,885 --> 00:34:40,515
The roof!
426
00:34:40,516 --> 00:34:44,441
Teddy!
427
00:34:51,583 --> 00:34:54,510
- You guys see him?
- No!
428
00:35:03,054 --> 00:35:04,665
He's not here.
429
00:35:06,774 --> 00:35:10,277
I can't believe this is happening again.
430
00:35:12,338 --> 00:35:16,441
Ok, look. We'll handle this. You get
back there.
431
00:35:16,442 --> 00:35:19,878
You tell them that Alan and I got drunk
with him, we're still partying.
432
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:24,840
- You gotta go get married!
- No! Not going back without Teddy!
433
00:35:24,842 --> 00:35:27,762
He's Lauren's little brother. He's lost,
he's injured.
434
00:35:29,336 --> 00:35:35,098
If I fuck this up, I lose everything.
435
00:35:36,538 --> 00:35:37,994
Ok.
436
00:35:39,009 --> 00:35:40,493
Alright.
437
00:35:41,836 --> 00:35:44,694
- Alan, check your pockets!
- What?
438
00:35:44,695 --> 00:35:47,480
You know the drill. C'mon there might
be clues.
439
00:35:47,481 --> 00:35:51,223
- Check your phones! Numbers, texts.
- That's a good idea!
440
00:35:51,931 --> 00:35:55,164
- I got nothing. Fuck!
- I got an text from Chow.
441
00:35:55,165 --> 00:35:57,881
- What time?
- Uh, 10 o'clock last night.
442
00:35:57,882 --> 00:36:01,986
- What's it say?
- "On my way, Niggahs"
443
00:36:01,988 --> 00:36:05,106
Oh, Niggahs... ok... hip hop.
444
00:36:07,476 --> 00:36:11,790
We are so... fucked!
445
00:36:11,791 --> 00:36:16,853
Hey Phil! Look who's back!
446
00:36:18,252 --> 00:36:22,063
We gotta get you out of the sun. You're
too hot.
447
00:36:23,540 --> 00:36:26,260
Phil, I really think we should go to
the American Consulate.
448
00:36:26,261 --> 00:36:29,588
For what? To report a dead body we shoved
into an ice machine?
449
00:36:29,589 --> 00:36:32,745
What are we gonna do? Keep walking around
in circles? Cause that's real productive.
450
00:36:32,746 --> 00:36:35,254
You know I'm trying to figure this thing
out here and your attitude is not helping.
451
00:36:35,255 --> 00:36:38,320
I'm sorry. It's a 100 degrees and we
don't have a plan.
452
00:36:38,321 --> 00:36:40,599
And all we've done is buy him hats and sodas.
453
00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:43,304
-What, it's a bag of Fanta!
- Alright, what do you want to do, Stu?
454
00:36:43,305 --> 00:36:44,375
I don't know!
455
00:36:44,376 --> 00:36:46,319
Well then stop yelling at me like it's my fuckin fault.
456
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:47,835
It is your fault!
457
00:36:47,836 --> 00:36:50,165
All I wanted was a bachelor brunch.
458
00:36:50,166 --> 00:36:52,345
Shit! Shut up! It's Doug! Talk to me!
459
00:36:52,346 --> 00:36:55,845
I just got off the phone with Bangkok PD.
They've got him. He's ok.
460
00:36:55,846 --> 00:36:58,918
Oh thank god! Doug found him.
461
00:36:58,919 --> 00:37:00,677
- What happened?
- He got arrested.
462
00:37:00,678 --> 00:37:03,352
- Arrested? For what?
- Disorderly conduct.
463
00:37:03,353 --> 00:37:05,525
- Seriously?
- Yeah! He's ok though.
464
00:37:05,526 --> 00:37:08,977
They'll release him to you. No questions
asked. No one has to know.
465
00:37:09,215 --> 00:37:14,696
He's at the Ratra Wang police station.
466
00:37:14,697 --> 00:37:16,824
Ok. I'll call you when we get there.
467
00:37:16,825 --> 00:37:19,198
Teddy's in jail, but he's fine. We
gotta get a cab.
468
00:37:19,199 --> 00:37:21,264
- Ok!
- Alright!
469
00:37:25,484 --> 00:37:28,125
- Yes, I have his paperwork here.
- Okay.
470
00:37:28,126 --> 00:37:31,994
- He has been treated.
- Sounds good.
471
00:37:31,995 --> 00:37:35,300
We're good. They've processed him for
release.
472
00:37:36,072 --> 00:37:38,545
They put him in the drunk tank. He's fine.
473
00:37:38,546 --> 00:37:42,284
Sixteen years old and spent a night in
jail. Can you imagine?
474
00:37:42,285 --> 00:37:45,547
Haha! We love to party.
475
00:37:48,130 --> 00:37:49,601
Here we go!
476
00:37:50,793 --> 00:37:53,352
- Wait who's this fuckin guy?
- Teddy Sisay.
477
00:37:53,353 --> 00:37:56,539
No, no, no, no. That's the wrong guy! Sir!
478
00:37:56,540 --> 00:38:01,044
Excuse me.. I'm sorry. Officer. You brought
the wrong guy. That's not Teddy!
479
00:38:01,045 --> 00:38:04,964
Of course it is!
We have his ID's and everything!
480
00:38:04,965 --> 00:38:07,960
These were in his pocket
when we made the arrest.
481
00:38:07,961 --> 00:38:09,927
They were in his pocket?
482
00:38:10,854 --> 00:38:14,753
Excuse me, sir! How did you get this stuff?
483
00:38:15,434 --> 00:38:17,080
Hello?
484
00:38:17,081 --> 00:38:22,371
Teddy doesn't speak. We tried English,
Thai, Chinese... Nothing.
485
00:38:22,372 --> 00:38:24,066
Let me ask you something.
486
00:38:24,068 --> 00:38:28,820
Does he look like he works out at Bally
Total Fitness in Palo Alto, California?
487
00:38:28,820 --> 00:38:35,023
Look. We arrest a lot of people. We cannot
analyze everything.
488
00:38:35,024 --> 00:38:39,140
- What do you expect us to do with this guy?
- Not my problem!
489
00:38:39,830 --> 00:38:45,764
Hey guys, I think he knows us. Hi. Hello.
490
00:38:48,481 --> 00:38:52,711
You know where our friend is, Teddy?
He's missing!
491
00:38:52,713 --> 00:38:56,358
- Stu, forget it. The guys worthless.
- He knows something!
492
00:38:56,359 --> 00:38:59,186
He's wearing Teddy's sweatshirt.
493
00:38:59,187 --> 00:39:05,030
Maybe he just doesn't understand. I'll
act it out. Yeah, like charades. Watch.
494
00:39:05,031 --> 00:39:07,477
- Two words.
- Is it a movie?
495
00:39:07,478 --> 00:39:10,100
This is not for you, Alan!
496
00:39:11,268 --> 00:39:17,544
- American teenager... in Asia.
- Karate Kid, with Jaden Smith.
497
00:39:17,545 --> 00:39:20,248
It's easy cause you're talking to him.
498
00:39:20,249 --> 00:39:23,886
Stu, it's a waste of time! Just leave
this fucking guy here.
499
00:39:23,888 --> 00:39:27,760
Here's something. There are 500 thousand
monks living in Thailand.
500
00:39:27,761 --> 00:39:34,047
It is not uncommon for some monks to take
a vow of silence, at the age of eight.
501
00:39:34,049 --> 00:39:35,123
There you go.
502
00:39:35,124 --> 00:39:37,812
- Anything else in that envelope?
- Nah, it's empty.
503
00:39:39,429 --> 00:39:44,395
Woah, hang on. A drink card from White
Lion bar in Bangkok?
504
00:39:45,171 --> 00:39:47,458
Worth a shot.
505
00:39:48,919 --> 00:39:51,903
Jesus christ! Is this the right street?
506
00:39:51,904 --> 00:39:54,245
That's what it says.
507
00:39:59,805 --> 00:40:04,714
- Whoa! This is the White Lion!
- What the fuck happened here?
508
00:40:04,715 --> 00:40:07,236
Holy shit!
509
00:40:07,260 --> 00:40:11,257
(yelling in Thai)
510
00:40:11,381 --> 00:40:14,304
- Let's...
- We should probably...
511
00:40:18,572 --> 00:40:20,136
That's ok.
512
00:40:20,137 --> 00:40:23,252
What the fuck is going on here?
513
00:40:24,542 --> 00:40:29,764
- Whoa, guys. Check it out!
- Holy shit! Stu, look!
514
00:40:29,765 --> 00:40:35,723
That's my face. Go, go go!
Nice work, Alan!
515
00:40:37,241 --> 00:40:40,270
- Hello?
- Be with you in a minute!
516
00:40:43,678 --> 00:40:46,973
- Excuse me.
- Oh, look who it is!
517
00:40:46,974 --> 00:40:50,663
- So what do ya think?
- What, I'm sorry?
518
00:40:50,664 --> 00:40:55,889
- The tattoo. You love it?
- Uh, no. Actually, I hate it.
519
00:40:55,890 --> 00:40:58,704
- No refunds. Get the fuck out!
- Wait a second!
520
00:40:58,704 --> 00:41:00,258
Read the sign!
521
00:41:00,259 --> 00:41:01,778
NO REFUNDS. GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
522
00:41:01,779 --> 00:41:04,376
We don't want any refunds. We just have
a couple of questions.
523
00:41:04,376 --> 00:41:06,401
We're trying to figure out what went
down last night.
524
00:41:06,402 --> 00:41:11,000
What went down? Take a look at what you
did outside. Half the neighborhood went down.
525
00:41:11,001 --> 00:41:14,849
- We did that?
- You don't remember getting into a bar fight at the White Lion?
526
00:41:14,851 --> 00:41:20,115
- Starting a full on fuckin riot?
- Sir, we don't remember anything.
527
00:41:24,021 --> 00:41:27,151
Oh boy...
528
00:41:28,043 --> 00:41:30,821
Check this out!
529
00:41:33,952 --> 00:41:36,159
Oh shit!
530
00:41:38,884 --> 00:41:42,620
Fuck the Police!
531
00:41:45,662 --> 00:41:48,409
There's Teddy! He was with us!
532
00:42:01,260 --> 00:42:02,757
Jesus christ!
533
00:42:02,757 --> 00:42:05,480
That's when the cops arrived and started
cracking skulls.
534
00:42:05,481 --> 00:42:08,251
I took you guys and hid you in the
shop here.
535
00:42:08,252 --> 00:42:12,500
Then you decided to get a tattoo.
You cried like a little bitch.
536
00:42:12,500 --> 00:42:15,713
This kid is fucking nine years old. He's
got balls twice your size.
537
00:42:15,714 --> 00:42:19,438
- Show him your balls, Nao!
- No, no, no. That's ok.
538
00:42:19,439 --> 00:42:22,978
Listen, we're looking for our friend Teddy.
Have you seen him?
539
00:42:22,979 --> 00:42:25,104
Not since last night. Why? What happened?
540
00:42:25,105 --> 00:42:28,714
Yeah, I'm supposed to marry his sister
tomorrow and we kinda lost him.
541
00:42:29,940 --> 00:42:34,109
- Oh well. Then fuck it!
- What do you mean, fuck it?
542
00:42:34,110 --> 00:42:37,625
Bangkok has him now and she'll never
let him go.
543
00:42:37,626 --> 00:42:41,716
- You hear that, huh? Is this what you
wanted? You happy now?
544
00:42:41,717 --> 00:42:45,160
You're wasting your time. These monks
take their vow shit seriously.
545
00:42:45,161 --> 00:42:50,228
Look at this. That's the sign of the Chang
Mai Monastery, just outside of town.
546
00:42:50,228 --> 00:42:53,405
Maybe somebody over there can get him
to talk.
547
00:42:57,784 --> 00:43:00,397
- Ok, can we just go over this one
more time? You got the beer from...
548
00:43:00,493 --> 00:43:03,375
- The hotel bar. They gave me a sealed case.
- Right.
549
00:43:04,423 --> 00:43:06,929
- But, who gave it to you?
- The bartender.
550
00:43:07,756 --> 00:43:10,094
And then you brought em out and
I opened them.
551
00:43:10,095 --> 00:43:13,571
Yeah and Doug had one and he was fine
so it's not the beer.
552
00:43:13,572 --> 00:43:15,967
- So what the hell happened?
- I have no idea!
553
00:43:15,968 --> 00:43:19,300
Hey guys. Check it out. He's got a
Chinese boner.
554
00:43:19,301 --> 00:43:22,448
Alan, come on! Cut it out!
555
00:43:24,785 --> 00:43:29,006
- That is so wrong!
- Don't stop monkey, keep doing it.
556
00:43:38,494 --> 00:43:43,456
When a monkey nibbles on a penis
it's funny in any language!
557
00:43:44,610 --> 00:43:46,696
Keep doing it!
558
00:43:48,460 --> 00:43:49,801
Alright, thank you!
559
00:43:51,762 --> 00:43:55,276
Bye Shannon! Bye Little Wayne!
560
00:44:04,731 --> 00:44:07,519
Wow! So beautiful!
561
00:44:09,609 --> 00:44:12,137
What is this, a PF Chang's?
562
00:44:13,357 --> 00:44:16,201
Ah, they're meditating.
563
00:44:16,202 --> 00:44:19,393
- Such a peaceful people!
- Yeah.
564
00:44:19,394 --> 00:44:23,219
- Knock, knock! Hello!
- Alan! Show some respect!
565
00:44:23,220 --> 00:44:27,241
- Don't get up guys.
- We brought one of your guys back.
566
00:44:27,242 --> 00:44:30,086
He's really funny. He's really nice
and cool.
567
00:44:30,087 --> 00:44:33,521
Hi, how you doing. You the one in charge?
568
00:44:36,029 --> 00:44:38,945
- Excuse me... ow... Wait!
- Stop it! Calm down!
569
00:44:40,235 --> 00:44:44,877
Hold on. It's because we're talking.
570
00:44:44,878 --> 00:44:47,586
God damn it! Oh! Stop!
571
00:44:47,587 --> 00:44:50,495
Wait it's me!
572
00:44:50,496 --> 00:44:52,300
Oh I get it.
573
00:44:55,477 --> 00:44:58,979
No talk! No talk! Shh.. Ok...
574
00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:06,673
Ok.
575
00:45:25,226 --> 00:45:29,992
Late last night, you climbed the walls
of our monastery.
576
00:45:29,993 --> 00:45:36,810
Shouting out questions about love, marriage
and the meaning of life.
577
00:45:37,259 --> 00:45:40,708
Poor brother Han was meditating alone
in the garden.
578
00:45:40,709 --> 00:45:44,874
- And you took him.
- Oh my god!
579
00:45:45,249 --> 00:45:49,599
- We kidnapped a monk.
- We live an alternative life style.
580
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:54,788
We are so sorry about that, but we weren't
ourselves last night.
581
00:45:54,789 --> 00:46:00,818
Yep, things kinda spun outta control a little
bit. But there's a boy who's missing and hurt.
582
00:46:00,819 --> 00:46:03,960
Can you find out if he knows where our
friend is?
583
00:46:03,961 --> 00:46:07,293
Brother Han took a vow of silence many
years ago.
584
00:46:07,294 --> 00:46:09,358
It would be useless to try.
585
00:46:09,359 --> 00:46:13,426
Well maybe he can write down what happened,
on a piece of paper?
586
00:46:13,427 --> 00:46:16,496
Actually Phil, that would be cheating.
Isn't that right, Grand Wizard.
587
00:46:16,497 --> 00:46:19,401
- Alan!
- I'm afraid fatty is right.
588
00:46:19,401 --> 00:46:21,298
See?... What?
589
00:46:21,299 --> 00:46:25,150
None of us will ever know what brother
Han knows.
590
00:46:26,102 --> 00:46:29,388
Oh, alright. Well, so much for holy people.
Bunch of bald assholes. C'mon, let's go.
591
00:46:29,389 --> 00:46:33,412
Hey you know what! FYI! You may want to
put some signs up that say no talking...
592
00:46:33,413 --> 00:46:35,647
- ...before you unleash your dragon.
- Yeah, that was a little rough.
593
00:46:35,647 --> 00:46:38,730
And "your welcome" for bringing him
back safe.
594
00:46:38,731 --> 00:46:41,560
- You know we found him in the drunk tank.
- Yeah well we did take him in the first place.
595
00:46:41,609 --> 00:46:45,340
- C'mon guys, let's go.
- Wait!
596
00:46:46,171 --> 00:46:51,811
The Buddha teach, every memory lives
somewhere deep within.
597
00:46:51,812 --> 00:46:56,538
Perhaps you should bring your question
to the Garden of Meditation.
598
00:46:56,539 --> 00:46:59,608
- Did you understand a word he just said?
- Yeah, yeah. About two thirds.
599
00:46:59,609 --> 00:47:01,240
He said something about the Garden of
Meditation?
600
00:47:01,241 --> 00:47:03,856
No, he said he's farting because of
his medication.
601
00:47:03,857 --> 00:47:06,156
I get that.
602
00:47:11,031 --> 00:47:15,959
It's a waste of time. I don't remember
anything. Do you?
603
00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:21,129
No. I got nothing. Alan?
604
00:47:23,257 --> 00:47:24,962
Alan!
605
00:47:27,722 --> 00:47:30,733
"Every memory lives somewhere deep within"
606
00:47:30,826 --> 00:47:32,278
- Sweetie.
- What?
607
00:47:32,607 --> 00:47:33,841
You have visitors.
608
00:47:34,111 --> 00:47:35,854
- Hey, Alan!
- Hey, guys!
609
00:47:35,974 --> 00:47:37,760
- Hey, Phil.
- Hey buddy!
610
00:47:37,861 --> 00:47:39,629
Stu would like to invite you to his wedding.
611
00:47:39,813 --> 00:47:43,386
- Is this true, Stuart?
- Yeah, why not. It'll be fun.
612
00:47:44,721 --> 00:47:45,648
Fuck!
613
00:47:45,738 --> 00:47:49,277
- For Lauren and Stu!
- Cheers!
614
00:47:51,802 --> 00:47:54,846
- Chow!
- We had a sick night bitches!
615
00:47:56,223 --> 00:47:57,582
Alan, what the fuck!
616
00:47:58,806 --> 00:48:00,633
Is that person coming to the wedding?
617
00:48:00,727 --> 00:48:04,143
- There is no wolfpack.
- Alan, Alan, don't do that!
618
00:48:04,223 --> 00:48:05,812
And finally...
619
00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:08,151
The three best friends anyone could have.
620
00:48:17,504 --> 00:48:20,075
Fuck the Police!
621
00:48:31,495 --> 00:48:32,752
I know where to go.
622
00:48:35,892 --> 00:48:39,365
- What do you think, Alan?
- This is the place.
623
00:48:39,805 --> 00:48:41,364
C'mon. Let's go.
624
00:48:45,986 --> 00:48:47,793
I don't remember any of this!
625
00:48:49,124 --> 00:48:52,344
- Yeah Alan, you sure this is the place?
- Yeah, pretty sure.
626
00:49:00,225 --> 00:49:02,020
Rose! Harmony!
627
00:49:02,739 --> 00:49:04,860
Is he coming or what? I've been waiting
all day for him.
628
00:49:05,014 --> 00:49:09,100
- I'm sorry. Waiting for who?
- Chow, that dick ass fuck!
629
00:49:10,083 --> 00:49:12,442
- Why? What's wrong?
- Nothings wrong.
630
00:49:12,966 --> 00:49:17,510
Ok, good. Look at this. Look what I
bring for him. Check it out, huh.
631
00:49:17,646 --> 00:49:19,921
- No, no!
- $ 6,000 American.
632
00:49:20,044 --> 00:49:22,124
Wow looks so real!
633
00:49:28,412 --> 00:49:29,592
Sorry!
634
00:49:29,956 --> 00:49:34,993
- Alan, what the fuck!
- It's ok. The gun, it's very sensitive.
635
00:49:35,444 --> 00:49:37,383
Everybody ok?
636
00:49:38,077 --> 00:49:43,085
Ok, then get the fuck back to work!
Come on. Music, please!
637
00:49:43,850 --> 00:49:45,254
Where is my 6,000 dollars?
638
00:49:45,385 --> 00:49:48,872
6,000? No, no, no. This is Chow's deal. We
got nothing to do with that.
639
00:49:49,095 --> 00:49:50,875
Un-fucking believable.
640
00:49:51,026 --> 00:49:54,503
This guy, if he backs out again, the
shits gonna catch up with him.
641
00:49:54,620 --> 00:49:58,233
He's made a lot of enemies in this town,
and now they're gonna be your enemies.
642
00:49:58,325 --> 00:49:59,621
That's not fair!
643
00:49:59,749 --> 00:50:02,101
Ok listen. We're just looking for a
little kid.
644
00:50:02,210 --> 00:50:03,993
- 2,000 dollars.
- What!
645
00:50:04,129 --> 00:50:06,759
I don't know, maybe more. How young you
want this kid to be?
646
00:50:06,860 --> 00:50:13,338
No, no! Sorry, you misunderstood. We're
looking for our friend... 16 years old.
647
00:50:13,444 --> 00:50:15,163
- Teddy.
- Teddy?
648
00:50:15,379 --> 00:50:17,484
- Yeah he was here with you guys last night.
- He was?
649
00:50:17,612 --> 00:50:19,106
Do you know if he left with us?
650
00:50:19,252 --> 00:50:21,746
I don't know. You were in the corner all
night with Kimmy.
651
00:50:21,835 --> 00:50:23,411
- I didn't see you leave.
- Kimmy?
652
00:50:23,538 --> 00:50:26,672
- Is she here?
- Yes, she's in the back. She just came for her shit.
653
00:50:26,797 --> 00:50:28,053
Go and talk to her.
654
00:50:28,424 --> 00:50:30,820
Alright, listen. I'm sorry about everything
that happened.
655
00:50:30,931 --> 00:50:33,200
Listen to me, ok? Pay attention to what
I'm going to talk to you know.
656
00:50:33,301 --> 00:50:37,160
When you see Chow, you tell him Samir
says "Hello".
657
00:50:37,248 --> 00:50:38,005
Okay!
658
00:50:38,094 --> 00:50:42,599
But do it like that, ok! "Hello" like
threatening. Like, ironic.
659
00:50:43,822 --> 00:50:44,975
- "Hellooo"
- Okay!
660
00:50:52,497 --> 00:50:54,000
Go away! Go away!
661
00:50:54,446 --> 00:50:55,364
??
662
00:50:55,635 --> 00:50:58,944
Of course I remember him. He was buying
shots for everyone.
663
00:50:59,070 --> 00:51:02,479
Nice kid! His parents must be so proud.
664
00:51:02,588 --> 00:51:03,952
You have no idea.
665
00:51:04,233 --> 00:51:06,580
Ok, so do you remember if he left with us?
666
00:51:06,677 --> 00:51:10,310
Yeah, you were all leaving together, but
you almost forgot this one right here.
667
00:51:10,435 --> 00:51:12,389
Right, super star?
668
00:51:13,528 --> 00:51:17,490
This one was following me around like a
little puppy dog. All night.
669
00:51:17,791 --> 00:51:21,518
Saying he'd fallen in love with me. Asked
me to marry him.
670
00:51:22,899 --> 00:51:24,594
Classic Stu!
671
00:51:25,550 --> 00:51:28,099
- We didn't get married, did we?
- Course not!
672
00:51:28,261 --> 00:51:30,555
We just had some fun in the Chardonnay room.
673
00:51:30,711 --> 00:51:34,125
- What happens in the Chardonnay room?
- Let's just stay on task.
674
00:51:34,220 --> 00:51:39,275
I danced for him. He tickled me. We had sex.
675
00:51:39,400 --> 00:51:41,834
- Fuck!
- It's ok. You're not married yet.
676
00:51:41,943 --> 00:51:43,681
- No big deal.
- It's cheating!
677
00:51:43,773 --> 00:51:46,517
No offense to you. You're a lovely woman.
678
00:51:46,653 --> 00:51:48,634
It's a violation of my moral code.
679
00:51:48,764 --> 00:51:53,943
Don't be sad. Stu you loved it. You were
crying, saying how special it was.
680
00:51:54,063 --> 00:51:57,699
- Wait! I'm sorry. He was crying?
- What a baby. He was crying.
681
00:51:57,807 --> 00:52:02,084
You should have seen him. He was so
sexy. The way he moved around.
682
00:52:02,413 --> 00:52:05,052
I had to ask him to slow down so I didn't
drop my load too quick.
683
00:52:07,609 --> 00:52:12,375
- Load? What load?
- Oh, you know... My sperms.
684
00:52:13,826 --> 00:52:17,053
I think your English is off. You're talking
about my sperm!
685
00:52:18,162 --> 00:52:21,083
- Where would your sperm come from?
- From my balls!
686
00:52:21,239 --> 00:52:23,515
- Hold on! Back up!
- Wait... Are you...
687
00:52:26,010 --> 00:52:27,684
Hey. You're in Bangkok, sweetie.
688
00:52:27,774 --> 00:52:30,087
- There's a reason they don't call it "Bang-cunt".
- Oh!
689
00:52:35,302 --> 00:52:36,875
- Oh god!
- Wow.
690
00:52:40,804 --> 00:52:42,696
I don't get it. Is this a magic show?
691
00:52:43,954 --> 00:52:48,095
Come on, Stu, it was beautiful. We climaxed
at the same time.
692
00:52:48,966 --> 00:52:50,467
How's that work?
693
00:52:50,571 --> 00:52:53,209
Shoot my load into you. Shoot your load
on the floor.
694
00:52:53,860 --> 00:52:57,643
- Ok!
- You ruined me. Ruined bottom.
695
00:52:58,806 --> 00:53:00,880
Oh god!
696
00:53:07,588 --> 00:53:12,423
- Stu! It's not the end of the world.
- Sorry, but I'm so confused.
697
00:53:13,493 --> 00:53:16,425
I made love to a man... with boobies.
698
00:53:16,710 --> 00:53:20,197
Listen. I promise you no ones ever gonna
find out about this.
699
00:53:20,313 --> 00:53:21,902
But we found out about it.
700
00:53:22,007 --> 00:53:24,132
And then we forget. That's what we do!
701
00:53:24,286 --> 00:53:27,454
I do so much fucked up shit. And I just
forget about it.
702
00:53:27,575 --> 00:53:30,618
- Yeah?
- Yeah! Just forget! It goes away!
703
00:53:31,119 --> 00:53:34,133
That might be harder to go away, but in
time it'll happen.
704
00:53:34,274 --> 00:53:38,886
I certainly do. Just gonna forget about it.
705
00:53:39,031 --> 00:53:40,885
- Never happened.
- Great!
706
00:53:42,059 --> 00:53:43,998
Phone! Phone! Who is it? Answer!
707
00:53:44,515 --> 00:53:47,285
Lauren's dad. He just reminded me...
708
00:53:47,395 --> 00:53:49,037
- Answer it!
- I can't.
709
00:53:49,142 --> 00:53:51,751
What! He might know something about Teddy.
C'mon we still have a shot here.
710
00:53:51,876 --> 00:53:55,277
Get your head back into the fucking game, Stu!
711
00:53:59,868 --> 00:54:00,946
Hello?
712
00:54:01,043 --> 00:54:04,187
Who takes an all day fishing trip the
day before a wedding?
713
00:54:04,343 --> 00:54:09,011
- Yeah, I guess that is kinda stupid.
- Put Teddy on the phone.
714
00:54:11,448 --> 00:54:14,050
- Teddy's seasick actually.
- Seasick?
715
00:54:14,159 --> 00:54:19,243
- Teddy's been a Maritime cadet since he was nine.
- That's weird, cause he's puking everywhere.
716
00:54:19,401 --> 00:54:22,085
I'm gonna tell you something that you do
not know.
717
00:54:22,534 --> 00:54:25,659
- I don't like you.
- Yeah,I knew that already.
718
00:54:25,764 --> 00:54:27,452
If my daughter chooses you,
that's her problem.
719
00:54:27,544 --> 00:54:29,117
This is ??.
Hey it's Phil Winnick!
720
00:54:29,212 --> 00:54:31,977
Listen, I apologize. We've been reelin
in some crazy Marlin and I just wanna say...
721
00:54:34,163 --> 00:54:35,394
Phil!
722
00:54:35,503 --> 00:54:36,970
- Jesus!
- Phil!
723
00:54:37,309 --> 00:54:38,731
Fuck me!
724
00:54:38,747 --> 00:54:41,821
- Give us back our monkey!
- What monkey? Get your own monkey!
725
00:54:41,853 --> 00:54:44,467
Come on, you asshole, the fucking monkey!
726
00:54:44,873 --> 00:54:46,205
Come on!
727
00:54:46,308 --> 00:54:48,528
Anytime, Alan. He's pointing a gun at us!
728
00:54:48,649 --> 00:54:49,635
This is our monkey!
729
00:54:49,759 --> 00:54:51,833
No one's getting shot over a fucking monkey!
730
00:54:51,915 --> 00:54:53,563
Hand him over, now!
731
00:54:54,036 --> 00:54:56,294
God, I've never given him no monkeys.
732
00:54:56,749 --> 00:54:59,201
No, no ...
733
00:55:00,995 --> 00:55:04,612
Hey Phil, check it out. He's got a banana
on his helmet. He's the real deal.
734
00:55:04,722 --> 00:55:05,853
What the fuck's happening?
735
00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:08,746
Hold on! How did this happen? Do you
know where our friend is?
736
00:55:08,856 --> 00:55:13,251
- Yeah. Sixteen years old. Asian kid.
- (says something in Russian?)
737
00:55:13,899 --> 00:55:15,725
No, I don't understand what you said! No, I
didn't understand!
738
00:55:16,057 --> 00:55:18,335
What'd he say?
739
00:55:18,424 --> 00:55:20,390
He said fuck you and your questions!
740
00:55:22,888 --> 00:55:26,287
- Oh, my arm!
- Philip, are you okay?
741
00:55:26,786 --> 00:55:28,896
Oh I got shot! Fuck! Fuck this!
742
00:55:30,584 --> 00:55:32,336
It's alright, Phil! It's alright!
743
00:55:32,438 --> 00:55:34,639
We'll figure this out and get the monkey
back, I promise.
744
00:55:34,747 --> 00:55:38,512
Who gives a fuck about the monkey!
745
00:55:38,730 --> 00:55:44,443
- What the fuck is going on?
- Stu, am I gonna be ok? You're a doctor.
746
00:55:44,565 --> 00:55:46,183
I don't know, let me look!
747
00:55:48,329 --> 00:55:49,406
What?
748
00:55:50,523 --> 00:55:51,836
Don't look at it!
749
00:55:52,038 --> 00:55:55,211
Stuart Price! Get your ass back over here!
750
00:55:55,317 --> 00:55:56,903
- You got shot!
- I know!
751
00:56:12,216 --> 00:56:15,283
- Whoa, you all right?
- Yeah, I'm ok.
752
00:56:16,423 --> 00:56:20,169
Actually, bullet just grazed my arm.
Eight stitches.
753
00:56:20,840 --> 00:56:23,600
Only cost six dollars. How is that even
possible?
754
00:56:23,709 --> 00:56:25,619
How's any of this even possible?
755
00:56:29,139 --> 00:56:32,401
If I was a foot to my left, Stu, I'd be dead.
756
00:56:34,619 --> 00:56:36,151
What are we gonna do?
757
00:56:41,462 --> 00:56:43,636
I'm sorry guys. This wasn't part of the plan.
758
00:56:45,640 --> 00:56:49,951
- What plan, Alan?
- I've said too much already.
759
00:56:57,874 --> 00:57:00,200
Alan! What plan?
760
00:57:02,344 --> 00:57:05,513
- It's all Teddy's fault.
- What are you talking about, Alan?
761
00:57:05,639 --> 00:57:07,790
Why is he even here? He's not part of
the wolf pack!
762
00:57:07,899 --> 00:57:11,588
- Alan, what did you do?
- It's not my fault!
763
00:57:11,606 --> 00:57:14,531
Teddy shouldn't have been sharing from his bag.
764
00:57:15,511 --> 00:57:17,820
- What bag?
- The marshmallows.
765
00:57:17,912 --> 00:57:19,594
I had a separate bag just for Teddy.
766
00:57:19,710 --> 00:57:21,285
But it was dark and it was hard to keep
track.
767
00:57:21,406 --> 00:57:24,603
And then, you almost sat on em. I couldn't
tell which was which.
768
00:57:24,712 --> 00:57:27,431
- It was mayhem!
- What did you do to the marshmallows, Alan?
769
00:57:28,003 --> 00:57:30,393
Alan, what did you do?
770
00:57:30,784 --> 00:57:32,422
Isn't it obvious?
771
00:57:32,512 --> 00:57:36,600
I spiked them with muscle relaxers. And
plus my ADHD medication.
772
00:57:36,733 --> 00:57:38,596
- What?
- You drugged us again?!
773
00:57:38,692 --> 00:57:42,453
Not you! I just wanted to knock out Teddy for a
little while so we could finally enjoy the weekend.
774
00:57:42,561 --> 00:57:46,819
Enjoy the weekend? Alan, you told me that
you didn't do anything!
775
00:57:46,962 --> 00:57:48,611
Alan, you swore to god!
776
00:57:48,807 --> 00:57:50,560
I just wanted things to stay the same.
777
00:57:50,703 --> 00:57:55,105
Like at my face! You ruined my life!
778
00:57:55,509 --> 00:57:56,739
You're not my friend!
779
00:57:56,835 --> 00:57:59,366
Don't say that, Phil! You're serious?
Even in America?
780
00:57:59,470 --> 00:58:03,220
- Yes!
- Oh God! Don't say that, Phil!
781
00:58:03,339 --> 00:58:06,180
- Don't start crying, Alan!
- You're the bearded devil!
782
00:58:06,271 --> 00:58:09,125
You liked it! You smiled at me when I
handed you the bag with marshmallows.
783
00:58:09,255 --> 00:58:13,108
Because I like marshmallows, you
fucking psycho!
784
00:58:13,962 --> 00:58:16,476
Hey! Whoa! Hold on!
785
00:58:16,690 --> 00:58:18,140
Enough!
786
00:58:18,375 --> 00:58:21,058
- Why, Alan? Why?
- Stu!
787
00:58:21,357 --> 00:58:23,450
Because we're the three best
friends, remember?
788
00:58:23,859 --> 00:58:25,566
Remember?
789
00:58:25,567 --> 00:58:27,093
Stu, that's enough...
790
00:58:31,836 --> 00:58:34,677
Guys, we can't fall apart now. We gotta
stick together.
791
00:58:39,932 --> 00:58:42,777
- Alan, what's that written on your belly?
- What? Huh?
792
00:58:44,051 --> 00:58:47,112
Lebua Hotel, Saturday six pm.
793
00:58:47,206 --> 00:58:48,923
- You write that?
- No!
794
00:58:50,934 --> 00:58:52,869
Shit, that's in 20 minutes.
795
00:58:53,490 --> 00:58:55,268
What about England, Phil? Will we still
be friends there?
796
00:58:55,381 --> 00:59:00,135
Alan, I already told you. It was in the heat of the
moment. We're still friends. All over the world.
797
00:59:00,298 --> 00:59:02,895
- Even Great Britain?
- Yeah.
798
00:59:05,126 --> 00:59:06,669
What about you, Stu?
799
00:59:07,887 --> 00:59:09,225
We'll see.
800
00:59:10,894 --> 00:59:12,551
Gentlemen, follow me.
801
00:59:26,841 --> 00:59:28,058
Here you go.
802
00:59:32,444 --> 00:59:34,380
Well. About time! Sit down.
803
00:59:35,007 --> 00:59:36,858
Come on, sit.
804
00:59:37,779 --> 00:59:39,466
Wow, you guys look like shit.
805
00:59:42,317 --> 00:59:43,640
- Uh, do we know you?
- Hey!
806
00:59:43,764 --> 00:59:46,935
Take off your fuckin hat. You're in a
restaurant for christs sake. C'mon.
807
00:59:52,334 --> 00:59:55,160
Ok, listen. We have no clue what's
going on here.
808
00:59:55,265 --> 00:59:58,945
You know, they sell a Plum whiskey here,
it's fuckin unreal.
809
00:59:59,278 --> 01:00:06,386
Seriously, it will absolutely fuck you up! Oh, I'm
sorry. You guys already got fucked up, didn't you.
810
01:00:07,967 --> 01:00:13,129
- Uh, listen, I'm a little confused. How did you...
- You know what? I am a little fuckin confused!
811
01:00:13,242 --> 01:00:19,805
Where's Chow? With the fuckin account
code and the fuckin password!
812
01:00:25,044 --> 01:00:30,540
We don't know anything about any codes. We're
just trying to find our friend.
813
01:00:32,923 --> 01:00:37,233
- Teddy?
- Yes! Teddy! Have you seen?
814
01:00:41,050 --> 01:00:42,302
Hmm, let's see...
815
01:00:43,843 --> 01:00:45,122
There's Teddy!
816
01:00:46,227 --> 01:00:49,222
Holy shit! It's from last night.
817
01:00:50,794 --> 01:00:53,758
- Who are you?
- I'm a businessman.
818
01:00:53,962 --> 01:00:58,001
And I've invested a large chunk of capital
in your friend Chow.
819
01:00:58,263 --> 01:01:01,915
And in return, he was supposed to transfer
my profits electronically.
820
01:01:02,024 --> 01:01:05,149
About five fuckin minutes ago.
821
01:01:06,020 --> 01:01:09,621
So last night, we took Teddy as insurance.
822
01:01:10,370 --> 01:01:15,531
- Oh my god! Is he okay?
- Oh my god, I wasn't done talking.
823
01:01:16,461 --> 01:01:19,624
You tell Chow, that we are having breakfast
on the roof of this hotel...
824
01:01:19,713 --> 01:01:23,129
...tomorrow morning at eight am.
825
01:01:23,223 --> 01:01:25,182
Or if he makes the transfer, you will
get Teddy.
826
01:01:25,298 --> 01:01:28,714
If not well then hey, you know...
it's Bangkok.
827
01:01:31,350 --> 01:01:33,376
That's your cue to get the fuck out of here.
828
01:01:39,801 --> 01:01:41,505
Hey, you know what? Leave the hat.
829
01:01:43,286 --> 01:01:44,530
Alan leave the hat.
830
01:01:46,696 --> 01:01:48,151
Atta boy.
831
01:01:56,997 --> 01:02:00,465
We're fucked! Chow's dead. What do we do now?
832
01:02:00,556 --> 01:02:03,910
The guy doesn't give a shit about Chow, Stu.
This whole things about a fucking bank account.
833
01:02:06,218 --> 01:02:08,759
Let's just go back to the hotel. We'll
search Chow's body.
834
01:02:08,853 --> 01:02:11,380
Hopefully the password's in his
wallet or something.
835
01:02:12,008 --> 01:02:14,286
- And what if it isn't?
- He's gonna kill Teddy.
836
01:02:14,393 --> 01:02:18,014
Just relax. We have until 8am tomorrow
to figure it out.
837
01:02:21,230 --> 01:02:25,999
First the monkey and now my hat. How
much worse can this day get.
838
01:02:29,898 --> 01:02:31,660
Jesus christ!
839
01:02:38,759 --> 01:02:48,676
Well we're livin here in Alan town. And
he's drivin our lives into the ground.
840
01:02:49,497 --> 01:02:53,563
When we woke up we were wasted and drunk.
841
01:02:53,656 --> 01:02:59,137
Phil got shot. We got beaten by a monk.
842
01:03:01,302 --> 01:03:05,858
I was happy, and my life was good.
843
01:03:06,385 --> 01:03:10,738
Getting married like a dentist should.
844
01:03:10,834 --> 01:03:14,301
Roasting marshmallows on a stick.
845
01:03:14,439 --> 01:03:20,523
I got fucked in the ass... by a girl
with a dick.
846
01:03:21,664 --> 01:03:23,297
Oh yeah, remember that.
847
01:03:25,813 --> 01:03:29,864
And we're livin in Alan town.
848
01:03:32,301 --> 01:03:33,688
There's water everywhere.
849
01:03:34,469 --> 01:03:37,272
Yeah it's cause it melted, Stu. The
fuckin powers out.
850
01:03:37,352 --> 01:03:40,065
With an inadequate electrical grid,
serving millions of people
851
01:03:40,172 --> 01:03:43,312
Bangkok experiences 1500 power
outages per year.
852
01:03:43,418 --> 01:03:45,322
Seriously, Alan. That's enough!
853
01:03:45,478 --> 01:03:46,806
Out of the way!
854
01:03:53,076 --> 01:03:54,291
We got it.
855
01:03:58,833 --> 01:04:01,387
Oh my god!
856
01:04:02,807 --> 01:04:05,541
Chow, calm down!
857
01:04:05,631 --> 01:04:07,340
- You put the chill on me?
- No, no!
858
01:04:11,008 --> 01:04:12,492
It's okay.
859
01:04:13,035 --> 01:04:14,737
Relax!
860
01:04:22,817 --> 01:04:26,860
It's just us. Breathe!
861
01:04:26,999 --> 01:04:28,143
It was so cold.
862
01:04:28,238 --> 01:04:30,482
- We're gonna warm you up.
- I was so cold!
863
01:04:31,505 --> 01:04:35,204
- You did good, buddy. You did good.
- I did good.
864
01:04:40,507 --> 01:04:41,648
Feelin better?
865
01:04:42,867 --> 01:04:45,476
- Alright, you warm enough?
- I don't know.
866
01:04:45,576 --> 01:04:47,403
Come feel my bowels and tell me.
867
01:04:47,495 --> 01:04:50,279
I've been locked in a fuckin ice box
all day!
868
01:04:50,740 --> 01:04:53,284
Hey Alan, if you want my sunglasses...
869
01:04:53,375 --> 01:04:56,326
...just ask Chow. You don't have to kill me.
870
01:04:56,418 --> 01:05:00,304
Chow, nobody killed you. You were already
dead. You didn't have a pulse.
871
01:05:00,412 --> 01:05:02,242
Oh, you never do blow before?
872
01:05:02,348 --> 01:05:04,472
Sometimes your heart stop... start
up again.
873
01:05:04,893 --> 01:05:07,933
- Read a book!
- Look I'm sorry. We're having a bad day.
874
01:05:08,039 --> 01:05:11,535
Oh, you're having a bad day! Did you die?
875
01:05:12,208 --> 01:05:14,858
- I got shot!
- But did you die?
876
01:05:15,051 --> 01:05:18,346
Chow, some guy told us that you got
a bank code or something...
877
01:05:18,430 --> 01:05:20,476
...and if we don't bring it to him first
think in the morning...
878
01:05:21,746 --> 01:05:23,174
...he's gonna kill Teddy.
879
01:05:23,175 --> 01:05:29,352
Who, Kingsley? He harmless. Don't worry.
I got the bank codes.
880
01:05:30,157 --> 01:05:35,025
Great! Alright, we gotta meet him at 8am.
Who is that fuckin guy, anyway?
881
01:05:35,116 --> 01:05:38,470
- An investor in my business.
- Yeah, what business is that?
882
01:05:38,560 --> 01:05:41,011
It's called "not your business" ok!
883
01:05:41,714 --> 01:05:44,926
- Oh, where's the monkey?
- The monkey...
884
01:05:45,070 --> 01:05:48,888
Yeah I put the account number and
password in his vest. Where is he?
885
01:05:51,625 --> 01:05:54,995
- Why would you do that?
- Safe keeping, pretty boy.
886
01:05:55,089 --> 01:06:02,202
I got a lotta heat on my ass. I got
FBI, Bangkok PD, Interpol, MSNBC...
887
01:06:02,739 --> 01:06:04,626
That little monkey snorting coke with me
all night...
888
01:06:04,730 --> 01:06:07,603
Jerkin me off while I watched Stu make
fuckin lady boy.
889
01:06:07,915 --> 01:06:11,500
- He not going anywhere.
- We don't have the monkey, Chow.
890
01:06:11,595 --> 01:06:14,354
Oh, some Russian thugs took him from us.
891
01:06:14,446 --> 01:06:16,417
Oh you fucking guys!
892
01:06:17,272 --> 01:06:20,881
Okay. No problem. We just have to get
him back.
893
01:06:21,018 --> 01:06:24,185
- From where?
- From the same place we took him from.
894
01:06:44,912 --> 01:06:47,006
This monkey isn't just normal monkey.
895
01:06:59,592 --> 01:07:02,074
Every night, monkey drug mule.
896
01:07:03,605 --> 01:07:05,760
He take coke to buyer...
897
01:07:08,827 --> 01:07:12,434
And deliver cash to dealer. He
middle man.
898
01:07:13,120 --> 01:07:15,237
Dealer never handle drug directly.
899
01:07:15,933 --> 01:07:17,423
He clean.
900
01:07:19,140 --> 01:07:23,351
- That's terrible.
- Not terrible. What he talking about. Fucking genius.
901
01:07:23,711 --> 01:07:25,537
You ever see monkey go to jail?
902
01:07:27,328 --> 01:07:31,591
We just take the monkey for deal, he come
close, we take his vest. That's that.
903
01:07:32,185 --> 01:07:36,443
- We get some blow too, you know... bump.
- No, no more bumps, Chow.
904
01:07:38,573 --> 01:07:40,273
This is ridiculous.
905
01:07:42,618 --> 01:07:45,315
Stu, Mr. Chow can't whistle. Shake your
monkey.
906
01:07:56,894 --> 01:07:58,002
Alright, here we go.
907
01:07:58,084 --> 01:07:59,424
Come on!
908
01:08:04,382 --> 01:08:06,504
How did we wind up with the monkey
last night anyway?
909
01:08:06,596 --> 01:08:08,736
I needed some blow and Alan thought
he was cute...
910
01:08:08,858 --> 01:08:10,090
...so we stole him!
911
01:08:21,899 --> 01:08:23,285
So stupid!
912
01:08:23,286 --> 01:08:24,785
Stu, ready to grab vest?
913
01:08:24,911 --> 01:08:29,371
- Okay. I just grab it?
- Yeah, just do it. Just do it.
914
01:08:29,495 --> 01:08:32,179
- Hey, little monkey.
- Alan, be quiet.
915
01:08:35,407 --> 01:08:38,064
- Fuck!
- We gotta go, right now!
916
01:08:38,965 --> 01:08:42,292
- Pull that fuckin monkey in!
- I'm trying!
917
01:08:46,580 --> 01:08:47,638
Shit!
918
01:08:51,122 --> 01:08:54,239
- Get that monkey in here, Stu!
- He won't let go!
919
01:08:55,204 --> 01:08:57,282
Stu, get back in the car! Right now!
920
01:08:57,841 --> 01:08:59,809
I'm trying! Slow down!
921
01:09:05,967 --> 01:09:07,735
He's so strong!
922
01:09:10,884 --> 01:09:12,800
Let go you fuckin monkey!
923
01:09:13,831 --> 01:09:17,605
- Look out!
- Oh shit! Tight squeeze!
924
01:09:19,543 --> 01:09:20,794
I got him!
925
01:09:24,094 --> 01:09:27,325
- Where's the code, Chow?
- Check his little vest.
926
01:09:30,710 --> 01:09:32,877
- Got it, Alan?
- Yes, I got a .
927
01:09:32,972 --> 01:09:36,218
- Slow down Chow!
- Hold on, J-Birds.
928
01:09:39,712 --> 01:09:41,191
Holy Shit!
929
01:09:42,625 --> 01:09:44,527
Don't worry. I got this shit!
930
01:09:46,685 --> 01:09:48,198
Pig!
931
01:09:52,265 --> 01:09:53,560
Oh, my word.
932
01:09:53,749 --> 01:09:55,089
Sorry, Stu! My bad!
933
01:10:00,788 --> 01:10:01,876
Oh, shit!
934
01:10:03,063 --> 01:10:04,157
Get down!
935
01:10:04,535 --> 01:10:05,931
What the fuck!
936
01:10:06,944 --> 01:10:09,563
Oh no! He shot the monkey!
937
01:10:09,796 --> 01:10:12,305
They shot the monkey.
938
01:10:12,440 --> 01:10:14,163
I'm at my wits end.
939
01:10:17,038 --> 01:10:18,659
He's coming back around.
940
01:10:19,310 --> 01:10:20,470
Look out!
941
01:10:24,215 --> 01:10:26,899
- Holy fuck!
- Oh no...
942
01:10:45,516 --> 01:10:47,439
- Everyone alright?
- Yeah.
943
01:10:48,556 --> 01:10:51,101
I have such an erection right now!
944
01:10:55,332 --> 01:10:56,641
Are you for real?
945
01:11:10,816 --> 01:11:13,047
They're gonna take good care of you
here, ok.
946
01:11:15,496 --> 01:11:16,793
What's that?
947
01:11:19,237 --> 01:11:23,837
Oh, yeah. Cigarettes. Got em right here.
Here you go.
948
01:11:27,982 --> 01:11:29,321
Right here.
949
01:11:32,166 --> 01:11:35,145
Deep breathe. Good.
950
01:11:36,450 --> 01:11:38,716
Soak it in.
951
01:11:38,961 --> 01:11:42,117
Breathe the smoke into your tiny
little lungs. There you go.
952
01:11:43,301 --> 01:11:45,749
It's funny. I've never been much of a
smoker, but...
953
01:11:47,124 --> 01:11:49,102
Boy does it look cool on you.
954
01:11:49,418 --> 01:11:51,958
Alan, c'mon! Let's go!
955
01:11:54,984 --> 01:11:56,793
I'll miss you, monkey.
956
01:11:59,589 --> 01:12:01,723
I wish monkeys could Skype.
957
01:12:03,406 --> 01:12:05,017
Maybe one day...
958
01:12:12,332 --> 01:12:14,784
Come on! Get in!
959
01:12:49,571 --> 01:12:51,413
Are you guys seriously this calm?
960
01:12:51,534 --> 01:12:54,030
Relax, Stuart. It's classic switcheroo.
961
01:12:54,124 --> 01:12:55,953
I give him money, he gives us Teddy.
962
01:12:56,218 --> 01:12:58,662
You ever do anything that doesn't end
up in a standoff, Chow?
963
01:12:58,756 --> 01:13:01,924
I'm an international criminal. It always
ends like this.
964
01:13:02,032 --> 01:13:03,720
I met my wife at one of these things.
965
01:13:04,645 --> 01:13:08,699
- You got a wife?
- Yeah, we married 15 years.
966
01:13:08,790 --> 01:13:11,302
What, I not good looking enough for woman?
967
01:13:12,377 --> 01:13:14,019
No, that's cool.
968
01:13:15,669 --> 01:13:16,657
Let's do this!
969
01:13:16,776 --> 01:13:19,444
- Welcome to the Tower Club.
- Blah blah blah, who cares.
970
01:13:20,974 --> 01:13:23,251
Stop! Chow crossing.
971
01:13:26,624 --> 01:13:29,770
- Hey, Kingsley!
- Well, well.
972
01:13:29,895 --> 01:13:31,647
Propecia looking nice!
973
01:13:31,830 --> 01:13:33,701
You been hitting the gym?
974
01:13:33,894 --> 01:13:36,948
Yes I am actually. Thank you for
noticing, Chow.
975
01:13:37,242 --> 01:13:38,962
Hey, guys. Have a seat.
976
01:13:39,885 --> 01:13:43,033
- Where's Teddy?
- He's waiting downstairs in my car.
977
01:13:43,286 --> 01:13:45,355
Send him up when the transfer is complete.
978
01:13:45,449 --> 01:13:48,211
Tell you what. Give me extra 50 grand, you
keep Teddy.
979
01:13:48,302 --> 01:13:50,913
And I throw in this other fat fuck for free.
980
01:13:53,000 --> 01:13:55,779
- Chow.. Chow...
- Could we move this along!
981
01:13:55,922 --> 01:14:00,237
Alan, account number. Come on, come on.
982
01:14:00,378 --> 01:14:09,991
8-1-4, K as in knife, 2-3-9-8.
983
01:14:11,144 --> 01:14:13,856
- Password?
- "baloney1"
984
01:14:14,496 --> 01:14:15,854
Your password is "baloney1" ?
985
01:14:15,980 --> 01:14:18,754
Well it used to be just "baloney" but
now they make you add number.
986
01:14:18,993 --> 01:14:20,847
Fuckin annoying.
987
01:14:31,693 --> 01:14:33,127
- And it's that easy.
- Ta dah!
988
01:14:34,515 --> 01:14:36,434
Oh look. You sunk my battleship.
989
01:14:38,044 --> 01:14:44,846
- Great, now can we please have Teddy?
- Yeah. Bring him up.
990
01:14:45,745 --> 01:14:48,975
See. We go to your wedding. We have fun. I
bust a nut.
991
01:14:49,084 --> 01:14:51,068
We did it, Stu. It's over!
992
01:15:00,270 --> 01:15:02,795
This is Bangkok police! Everybody down!
993
01:15:05,775 --> 01:15:06,978
Oh, nuts!
994
01:15:07,107 --> 01:15:09,225
Kingsley, you're fucking Five-O?
995
01:15:09,333 --> 01:15:10,643
Gotcha, Leslie!
996
01:15:10,908 --> 01:15:11,922
Get him outta here.
997
01:15:12,035 --> 01:15:13,422
Go! Just do it! Go!
998
01:15:18,300 --> 01:15:19,779
How the fuck...
999
01:15:20,361 --> 01:15:24,958
Samir, you fucked me over six grand?
You camel jockey!
1000
01:15:26,943 --> 01:15:29,376
You spit on me?
1001
01:15:30,137 --> 01:15:34,474
Six grand this time, eight grand last time.
It's not the money, man, it's the principle!
1002
01:15:34,568 --> 01:15:37,397
Principle? Nigga, please! We both dead inside.
1003
01:15:37,484 --> 01:15:39,777
Call me nigga... don't call me "nigga"!
1004
01:15:39,860 --> 01:15:42,619
- Put em in, motherfucker!
- He's an asshole, man.
1005
01:15:43,939 --> 01:15:45,326
You guys ok?
1006
01:15:45,439 --> 01:15:48,556
- What the fucks going on?
- Detective Inspector Peters, Interpol.
1007
01:15:48,649 --> 01:15:49,917
- You're a cop?
- Yes.
1008
01:15:50,025 --> 01:15:51,805
This sting operation has been in place
for weeks.
1009
01:15:52,622 --> 01:15:55,058
When Samir told us that your friend
was lost...
1010
01:15:55,247 --> 01:15:59,692
We took advantage of that information.
I'm sorry.
1011
01:16:01,116 --> 01:16:04,860
- So can Teddy come out of the car now?
- No, Alan, Teddy's not in the fuckin car!
1012
01:16:04,953 --> 01:16:06,786
They don't have him. They never had him.
1013
01:16:07,331 --> 01:16:11,271
They just needed us to bring them Chow.
They used Teddy as bait.
1014
01:16:12,715 --> 01:16:15,572
- Do you have any leads at all?
- No. We've checked everywhere.
1015
01:16:15,728 --> 01:16:17,607
No one has seen him. I'm sorry.
1016
01:16:18,630 --> 01:16:23,371
If you haven't found him by now, I'm afraid
Bangkok has him.
1017
01:16:27,868 --> 01:16:30,036
Why do people keep saying that?
1018
01:16:32,613 --> 01:16:36,065
Stu... It's time.
1019
01:16:41,271 --> 01:16:42,503
Alan...
1020
01:16:43,501 --> 01:16:47,760
-I'm sorry.
- Don't say that. Please.
1021
01:16:47,870 --> 01:16:51,965
- No this time we really fucked up.
- Oh god! How bad?
1022
01:16:52,160 --> 01:16:54,078
Like, no wedding bad?
1023
01:16:55,995 --> 01:16:57,585
Yeah... a little worse than that!
1024
01:17:23,140 --> 01:17:26,825
Ok, how about this? He fell off
the fishing boat and drowned.
1025
01:17:28,272 --> 01:17:29,563
No.
1026
01:17:30,851 --> 01:17:33,937
Ok, I got it. Teddy was hit by a truck.
1027
01:17:34,746 --> 01:17:37,726
- Alan!
- Not a good time, Phil. Kinda busy!
1028
01:17:37,834 --> 01:17:39,604
How many people get run over here?
1029
01:17:39,709 --> 01:17:42,917
- Over 1200 a year, Phil.
- Perfect!
1030
01:17:43,292 --> 01:17:46,198
His body was too mangled to recover.
Case closed.
1031
01:17:47,839 --> 01:17:49,395
Can I get more ice, please?
1032
01:17:50,569 --> 01:17:52,063
I'm not gonna lie to Lauren.
1033
01:17:52,189 --> 01:17:59,490
- Stu, do you want this or not?
- Look at what I've done, Phil. What I do.
1034
01:18:02,515 --> 01:18:07,054
I have a weakness for prostitutes. All
kinds, apparently.
1035
01:18:11,242 --> 01:18:15,792
- I have a demon in me!
- So what?
1036
01:18:17,214 --> 01:18:20,174
Teddy's gone, but I can still save Lauren.
1037
01:18:20,284 --> 01:18:22,159
Just let her live her life without me.
1038
01:18:22,190 --> 01:18:23,436
Stu!
1039
01:18:23,540 --> 01:18:26,713
I want you to call Doug and tell him I'm
never coming back.
1040
01:18:27,230 --> 01:18:29,080
Gettin off the hamster wheel.
1041
01:18:30,597 --> 01:18:34,087
Gonna stay here in Bangkok.
I think I belong here.
1042
01:18:35,039 --> 01:18:37,113
Open up a little dentists office.
1043
01:18:38,408 --> 01:18:40,465
Deep cleanings, with a happy ending.
1044
01:18:44,507 --> 01:18:45,839
You sure about this?
1045
01:18:53,172 --> 01:18:55,492
Hey, what the crud!
1046
01:18:56,988 --> 01:18:58,364
Powers out, Alan.
1047
01:19:02,557 --> 01:19:03,648
- Phil!
- Doug.
1048
01:19:03,823 --> 01:19:06,114
- I need answers, man.
- I know...
1049
01:19:07,032 --> 01:19:07,972
Doug, who are you talking to?
1050
01:19:08,063 --> 01:19:08,951
- What?
- Give me the phone!
1051
01:19:09,061 --> 01:19:10,169
Lauren, no! That's a private...
1052
01:19:10,253 --> 01:19:11,343
Who is this?
1053
01:19:11,433 --> 01:19:14,758
- Lauren?
- Phil? Tell me what's going on, right now!
1054
01:19:15,335 --> 01:19:16,835
We lost your little brother.
1055
01:19:17,260 --> 01:19:19,971
- What?
- Bangkok has him now.
1056
01:19:27,481 --> 01:19:28,801
You gotta take the stairs.
1057
01:19:29,335 --> 01:19:30,860
You're in Bangkok?
1058
01:19:35,339 --> 01:19:36,727
Ooh, that's a finger!
1059
01:19:37,912 --> 01:19:39,179
Put Stu on the phone!
1060
01:19:39,991 --> 01:19:43,387
Bangkok experiences 1500 power outages
per year.
1061
01:19:43,595 --> 01:19:45,685
Stu really doesn't want to talk to anybody.
1062
01:19:46,382 --> 01:19:47,726
- Water everywhere. Powers out.
1063
01:19:47,836 --> 01:19:50,115
Come on, Stu, use that big Jewish brain
1064
01:19:52,764 --> 01:19:55,453
Phil! Give me the phone!
1065
01:19:55,575 --> 01:19:57,365
- It's Lauren! I got it! I'm handling it!
- I know.!
1066
01:19:57,475 --> 01:19:59,175
- Give me the fuckin...
- I can handle it, Stu!
1067
01:19:59,268 --> 01:20:00,754
She's gonna break your heart!
1068
01:20:00,844 --> 01:20:03,187
Honey, sweetheart, it's me! I'm so sorry!
1069
01:20:03,296 --> 01:20:06,928
Stu? What the hell is going on? What does he
mean you lost Teddy?
1070
01:20:07,042 --> 01:20:11,719
What? Is that what Phil said?
No no no. We misplaced, Teddy.
1071
01:20:11,826 --> 01:20:14,402
But we're all good now. We heading back to the
hotel. We're gonna see you soon!
1072
01:20:15,763 --> 01:20:20,570
I love you so much! And I gotta go, but
I'll see you soon. Bye.
1073
01:20:23,617 --> 01:20:24,632
Stu!
1074
01:20:27,956 --> 01:20:29,567
- Stu!
- God!
1075
01:20:30,808 --> 01:20:33,193
Taxi!
1076
01:20:33,429 --> 01:20:35,584
Come on, Alan!
1077
01:20:38,036 --> 01:20:39,563
Hey, you mind filling us in!
1078
01:20:39,778 --> 01:20:42,118
Ok, now when we woke up, the power was out.
1079
01:20:42,231 --> 01:20:44,415
And you found Teddy's finger in what?
1080
01:20:44,650 --> 01:20:47,549
- In a pool of water.
- But it didn't start out as water.
1081
01:20:47,720 --> 01:20:49,283
No, it was ice.
1082
01:20:49,371 --> 01:20:50,920
Exactly! Teddy got ice from the machine...
1083
01:20:51,042 --> 01:20:53,562
...came back to the room. Put his finger
on ice and fell asleep.
1084
01:20:53,563 --> 01:20:54,500
Now what do you do if you wake up...
1085
01:20:54,576 --> 01:20:57,138
...and you find your finger floating in
a bowl of melted ice?
1086
01:20:57,292 --> 01:21:00,581
I'd get more ice, Stu... on the 15th
fuckin floor!
1087
01:21:00,706 --> 01:21:03,687
Yes! Teddy goes up, the power goes out...
1088
01:21:03,779 --> 01:21:08,872
- Holy shit! Of course!
- He's at the ice machine.
1089
01:21:09,349 --> 01:21:11,002
Alan, no!
1090
01:21:14,191 --> 01:21:15,354
It's on ten!
1091
01:21:15,780 --> 01:21:18,104
- Sir, is the elevator stuck?
- ??.
1092
01:21:18,537 --> 01:21:19,509
- C'mon!
- Go, go, go!
1093
01:21:23,857 --> 01:21:25,885
Hey, Teddy!
1094
01:21:26,231 --> 01:21:28,230
Look out, look out!
1095
01:21:36,553 --> 01:21:38,261
- Teddy!
- You're ok!
1096
01:21:39,872 --> 01:21:42,121
Teddy, you okay? You ok, man?
1097
01:21:42,800 --> 01:21:45,734
- Where am I?
- You're in an elevator, in the middle of Bangkok.
1098
01:21:46,000 --> 01:21:48,026
But we're gonna get you outta here. It's
gonna be fine.
1099
01:21:48,260 --> 01:21:51,416
Hey Stu, nice tattoo.
1100
01:21:53,611 --> 01:21:54,719
Thanks, man.
1101
01:21:54,848 --> 01:21:56,250
Alright, let's do this! C'mon, c'mon!
1102
01:21:57,055 --> 01:22:03,457
Tell him we found him.
Yeah, I know. But we're on our way. Ok, bye!
1103
01:22:03,764 --> 01:22:08,802
Alright, guests are arriving, people starting
to ask questions, but we can still pull this off!
1104
01:22:08,928 --> 01:22:11,566
- How?
- I don't know, with a taxi?
1105
01:22:11,655 --> 01:22:13,053
- Chow's speed boat.
- What?
1106
01:22:13,188 --> 01:22:15,356
Last think I remember, was getting off
Chow's speed boat.
1107
01:22:15,481 --> 01:22:18,806
- Chow has a speed boat?
- "The Perfect Life".
1108
01:22:19,956 --> 01:22:21,129
C'mon!
1109
01:22:25,013 --> 01:22:26,321
Stu, get that back line.
1110
01:22:28,549 --> 01:22:29,670
Good jump, Phil!
1111
01:22:32,246 --> 01:22:33,350
- You alright?
- Yeah.
1112
01:22:34,509 --> 01:22:37,346
- You sure you know how to drive this thing?
1113
01:22:37,362 --> 01:22:39,028
Please, I was raised in a yacht club. I
know what I'm doing.
1114
01:23:02,156 --> 01:23:03,391
You know where we're going?
1115
01:23:04,531 --> 01:23:06,200
Leave it to the Captain!
1116
01:23:06,434 --> 01:23:08,146
Oh fuck you, Alan!
1117
01:23:09,775 --> 01:23:12,546
Do you know where we're going, Captain?
1118
01:23:13,477 --> 01:23:15,565
Affirmative cadet!
We're going south.
1119
01:23:16,098 --> 01:23:19,263
- We're in the Gulf of Thailand.
- Good.
1120
01:23:40,367 --> 01:23:42,506
Hey! You okay?
1121
01:23:43,884 --> 01:23:46,202
- Feeling a little better.
- Alright!
1122
01:23:47,597 --> 01:23:51,932
Listen Teddy. I'm really sorry! We didn't
mean for any of this to happen.
1123
01:23:52,719 --> 01:24:01,577
It's funny. I can't remember anything
But... when I woke up, I was kinda happy.
1124
01:24:02,512 --> 01:24:03,743
Yeah!
1125
01:24:05,364 --> 01:24:08,879
By the way... Do you have any idea
where my finger is?
1126
01:24:08,968 --> 01:24:11,251
Yeah, we gave it to a drug dealing
monkey.
1127
01:24:14,805 --> 01:24:16,175
Bangkok...
1128
01:24:16,662 --> 01:24:20,255
Yeah, right... fuckin Bangkok!
1129
01:24:33,725 --> 01:24:35,709
I apologize. There will be no wedding!
1130
01:24:35,817 --> 01:24:37,736
He is on his way. He will be here...
1131
01:24:37,861 --> 01:24:42,011
Please, if you will all move to the bar.
We are going to clear this area.
1132
01:24:42,282 --> 01:24:43,790
Please!
1133
01:24:46,572 --> 01:24:48,892
I'm telling you, I spoke to him. He's coming.
1134
01:24:52,820 --> 01:24:54,959
Look! There they are!
1135
01:24:58,794 --> 01:25:00,053
Stu!
1136
01:25:06,084 --> 01:25:08,687
- Alan, there's no dock.
- Just hang on!
1137
01:25:08,829 --> 01:25:11,416
- Alan, it's not funny! Turn the boat!
- Hang on!
1138
01:25:11,509 --> 01:25:13,645
- Is that Alan driving the boat?
- What?
1139
01:25:14,302 --> 01:25:16,814
Uh, we should probably move back a little bit.
1140
01:25:18,104 --> 01:25:20,134
Oh my god!
1141
01:25:20,240 --> 01:25:22,253
Turn the boat!
1142
01:25:22,365 --> 01:25:23,754
Everyone back up a little bit here.
1143
01:25:23,861 --> 01:25:25,715
Sir, it's gonna get worse before it gets better.
1144
01:25:42,300 --> 01:25:44,778
Hi! Hi everybody!
1145
01:25:46,821 --> 01:25:51,177
Came in a little hotter than we planned.
I'm sorry we trenched the lawn here.
1146
01:25:52,014 --> 01:25:54,199
Totally fixable. A little bit of sod, it'll
be fine.
1147
01:25:54,309 --> 01:25:56,046
- Baby!
- Oh my god!
1148
01:25:56,225 --> 01:25:58,037
I'm so happy to see you!
1149
01:25:59,520 --> 01:26:03,668
- Teddy! Teddy here.
- Hi, Dad!
1150
01:26:04,561 --> 01:26:06,500
- You alright?
- Yeah, ok.
1151
01:26:08,160 --> 01:26:10,735
- Your hand!
- I know.
1152
01:26:10,866 --> 01:26:12,903
We had an accident. I'm ok.
1153
01:26:14,998 --> 01:26:16,072
This is your fault!
1154
01:26:16,215 --> 01:26:20,876
- Dad.
- He's right. I have not been completely honest.
1155
01:26:21,002 --> 01:26:22,418
- Stu? Don't do this.
-Yeah?
1156
01:26:22,531 --> 01:26:24,150
Thanks, Phil, but gonna do it.
1157
01:26:25,294 --> 01:26:29,519
You said I'm a joke.Well I'm not.
1158
01:26:30,082 --> 01:26:37,303
I'm not some weird, milky, ricy, watery
that you feed to infants and old people, ok!
1159
01:26:37,430 --> 01:26:41,203
Maybe I would be if you added some
cayenne pepper!
1160
01:26:43,778 --> 01:26:45,444
I wish I was a boring dentist...
1161
01:26:45,538 --> 01:26:47,588
...who had a boring life and boring friends...
1162
01:26:47,691 --> 01:26:49,423
... but I don't and I'm not.
1163
01:26:50,140 --> 01:26:52,360
I'm actually part of this weird wolf pack.
1164
01:26:52,530 --> 01:26:55,854
It's not weird. It's pretty cool
actually. No membership fees.
1165
01:26:55,960 --> 01:26:58,360
I've had enough of this. Come here.
1166
01:26:58,577 --> 01:27:02,497
Whoa! Here's the deal man.
1167
01:27:02,763 --> 01:27:06,418
- I got a dark side!
1168
01:27:06,510 --> 01:27:08,414
There's a demon in me!
1169
01:27:09,294 --> 01:27:11,198
It's true, he has semen in him.
1170
01:27:11,910 --> 01:27:13,096
I said demon.
1171
01:27:13,622 --> 01:27:17,851
- But you also have semen in you, remember?
- Not relevant, but thank you, Alan.
1172
01:27:20,054 --> 01:27:25,492
The point is, this demon takes me to
some pretty weird places.
1173
01:27:25,667 --> 01:27:28,518
We lost Teddy for two days in Bangkok.
1174
01:27:29,362 --> 01:27:33,186
But that same demon took us to
hell and back to find him.
1175
01:27:33,279 --> 01:27:35,681
We took on Bangkok and we won.
1176
01:27:35,822 --> 01:27:38,381
Now that's pretty fuckin cool if you ask me!
1177
01:27:43,234 --> 01:27:47,240
I love your daughter, and I'm
gonna marry her.
1178
01:27:47,335 --> 01:27:49,596
- Unless you have any problem with that?
- I'm good.
1179
01:27:51,314 --> 01:27:56,009
But all that said, it would actually mean
a great deal to both of us...
1180
01:27:56,258 --> 01:27:59,300
...if we could just get your mother fucking
blessing!
1181
01:28:15,614 --> 01:28:16,880
Hey, Alan...
1182
01:28:18,159 --> 01:28:21,839
- That looks pretty cool shaved.
- Thanks, Phil.
1183
01:28:22,527 --> 01:28:24,039
You should shave your head too.
1184
01:28:24,446 --> 01:28:27,692
- Why would I do that?
- Well than we would look exactly alike.
1185
01:28:39,069 --> 01:28:42,076
- Take good care of my daughter, Stu.
- I will.
1186
01:28:50,398 --> 01:28:52,719
I'm sorry we almost killed everyone with
the boat.
1187
01:28:52,845 --> 01:28:54,343
Just happy you're here.
1188
01:28:57,353 --> 01:29:00,877
And don't worry about the tattoo. I'm gonna
have it lasered as soon as we're home in LA.
1189
01:29:01,045 --> 01:29:04,965
- That's ok. I can get used to it.
- Really?
1190
01:29:08,022 --> 01:29:09,784
But for now, let's switch sides?
1191
01:29:10,254 --> 01:29:12,331
- Yeah, ok.
- Thank you.
1192
01:29:13,715 --> 01:29:14,963
Much better.
1193
01:29:16,339 --> 01:29:20,061
Dear family and friends. On behalf of Stu and Lauren...
1194
01:29:20,187 --> 01:29:24,260
...I welcome all of you, to this
marriage celebration.
1195
01:29:24,656 --> 01:29:26,728
We are here today to...
1196
01:30:20,589 --> 01:30:22,928
Hey buddy. Can you hold on for a second.
1197
01:30:23,289 --> 01:30:24,621
Thank you.
1198
01:30:31,947 --> 01:30:34,416
Hello? Hi everyone!
1199
01:30:35,798 --> 01:30:38,283
My name's Alan Garner.
1200
01:30:38,387 --> 01:30:44,581
I want to thank the Asiatic people for
allowing us in your land.
1201
01:30:45,859 --> 01:30:49,962
I wanted to say that, um, I'm really
happy to be here...
1202
01:30:50,091 --> 01:30:54,067
...and I have a wedding gift to present
to Lauren and Stu.
1203
01:30:55,045 --> 01:30:57,754
And um, a lot of thought has gone into this...
1204
01:30:57,883 --> 01:31:02,361
...and I hope that you appreciate it as
much as I did, or going to.
1205
01:31:02,545 --> 01:31:03,937
Okay, guys!
1206
01:31:20,987 --> 01:31:22,414
Oh, fuck!
1207
01:31:42,967 --> 01:31:43,962
Alan!
1208
01:31:46,152 --> 01:31:48,039
What the fuck?
1209
01:31:48,315 --> 01:31:51,515
- So what do ya think?
- That's insane! How did you do that?
1210
01:31:51,606 --> 01:31:53,228
My dad had to make a lot of calls.
1211
01:31:53,338 --> 01:31:56,683
I told Mike that you gotta do it. It's
for my third best friend.
1212
01:31:57,361 --> 01:32:01,248
Alan, it's amazing!
I love it! Thank you so much!
1213
01:32:01,341 --> 01:32:04,073
We only have him for tonight. We don't
have him permanently.
1214
01:32:05,381 --> 01:32:06,942
Understood!
1215
01:32:22,080 --> 01:32:25,705
- You do a lot of public speaking, Alan?
- I barely ??
1216
01:32:26,167 --> 01:32:30,831
Mike, you were great. It's true, that
was incredible.
1217
01:32:30,921 --> 01:32:33,546
Thanks, guys. That means a lot, really!
1218
01:32:33,906 --> 01:32:37,068
By the way, you really need to remove that
fuckin tattoo from your face!
1219
01:32:37,523 --> 01:32:39,006
Yeah! On it!
1220
01:32:41,593 --> 01:32:43,812
Sorry about the last minute change up
to the performance, Mike.
1221
01:32:43,916 --> 01:32:45,522
- Don't worry, Alan.
- What are you talking about?
1222
01:32:45,632 --> 01:32:48,222
Well he was originally supposed to sing
"Burning Up" by the Jonas Brothers...
1223
01:32:48,363 --> 01:32:50,409
...but then I remembered you don't like indie rock.
1224
01:32:51,161 --> 01:32:53,455
Hey guys. You're not gonna believe this.
1225
01:32:53,561 --> 01:32:55,592
- Is that your phone?
- Yeah.
1226
01:32:55,925 --> 01:32:57,792
How come you never tried calling us?
1227
01:32:57,883 --> 01:32:59,540
It's been dead for two days.
1228
01:32:59,663 --> 01:33:01,969
But I recharged it and found all
these photos.
1229
01:33:02,064 --> 01:33:03,206
What?
1230
01:33:03,395 --> 01:33:05,401
- Shit!
- Yeah, some of it's pretty messed up.
1231
01:33:05,496 --> 01:33:07,988
- Awesome, let's check em out.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
1232
01:33:08,303 --> 01:33:09,874
No one needs to see this stuff!
1233
01:33:09,984 --> 01:33:12,604
C'mon man! I'm Mike Tyson. I've seen everything!
1234
01:33:12,886 --> 01:33:15,394
- It'll be fine.
- (mumbles something)
1235
01:33:16,295 --> 01:33:20,816
- Alright, we look at it once.
- And then we delete them. It's gonna be ok.
1236
01:33:22,371 --> 01:33:23,542
- Oh, ooh!
- Mother fucker!