1 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:24,645 (WHINES) 2 00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:46,334 (PHONE RINGING) 3 00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:47,701 BOWFINGER: Bowfinger International Pictures. 4 00:02:47,735 --> 00:02:48,669 (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPING) 5 00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:50,304 Hi, this is Cherisse from AT&T. 6 00:02:50,338 --> 00:02:54,208 We were wondering if your payment for $5.43 has gone astray. 7 00:02:54,242 --> 00:02:55,343 Could you call us? 8 00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:58,279 Remember, we don't need access to your home 9 00:02:58,312 --> 00:02:59,780 to disconnect your phone. 10 00:03:46,694 --> 00:03:47,761 Wow. 11 00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:50,931 Great script. 12 00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:53,767 Great script. 13 00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:07,615 Betsy, it's now or never. 14 00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:09,450 (PHONE RINGING) 15 00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:11,419 We are going to make a movie. 16 00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:12,753 BOWFINGER: Bowfinger International Pictures. 17 00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:13,721 (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPING) 18 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,290 It's Carol. How do I say this? 19 00:04:16,324 --> 00:04:19,026 I have an offer to go to Edmonton to do Cats. 20 00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:21,028 It's a small role, but I have to take it. 21 00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:22,463 You keep promising me work... 22 00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:23,731 No! 23 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,433 But it's been 8 months. 24 00:04:25,466 --> 00:04:26,700 Don't take that job. 25 00:04:26,734 --> 00:04:29,069 We're going to make a movie. 26 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,938 You've said that before. 27 00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:32,039 I know. 28 00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:33,707 Just be here tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. 29 00:04:33,741 --> 00:04:35,543 I can't afford it. Please. 30 00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:37,077 But you always... 31 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,746 (PHONE DIALING) 32 00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:45,553 This is Dave. Beep coming. 33 00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:46,887 (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) 34 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,457 Can you get me a Mercedes tomorrow? 35 00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:52,726 And find out when and where Jerry Renfro is having lunch. 36 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,928 Just do it. Don't think about it. 37 00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:56,830 You're my buddy. 38 00:04:56,864 --> 00:04:58,766 (PHONE DIALING) 39 00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:04,037 Come on. 40 00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:06,474 AFRIM: Hello? 41 00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:08,342 Afrim, it's Bowfinger. 42 00:05:08,376 --> 00:05:09,743 Great script. It is? 43 00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:11,078 Just great. 44 00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:12,546 Your accounting days are over. 45 00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:14,515 He likes my script! 46 00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:18,118 He likes my script! 47 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,920 Just be here tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. 48 00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:21,422 Yes, boss. 10:00 a.m. 49 00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:24,525 (PHONE DIALING) 50 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,537 Slater? Who's this? 51 00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:37,671 Bowfinger. Bye. 52 00:05:37,705 --> 00:05:39,006 Don't hang up! 53 00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:41,008 Just be here tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. 54 00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:43,444 Oh, man, that's early. 55 00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:44,612 Big meeting, 10:00 a.m. 56 00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:45,879 Please? 57 00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:02,596 You believe in me, don't you, Betsy? 58 00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:32,960 BOWFINGER: First of all, thank you for coming. 59 00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:36,764 I know things have been a little slow. 60 00:06:36,797 --> 00:06:37,831 Very slow. 61 00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:39,166 Slow and low. 62 00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:41,569 Let him speak. 63 00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:43,003 But we are not the big guys. 64 00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:44,738 We are the little guys. 65 00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:46,640 We never had muscle before. 66 00:06:46,674 --> 00:06:48,609 But now, we do. 67 00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:51,512 Because last night I read a screenplay 68 00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:53,747 that every studio will want. 69 00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:55,883 How did we get this screenplay? 70 00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,686 From Afrim here, a fine writer, 71 00:06:58,719 --> 00:07:01,689 as well as accountant and part-time receptionist. 72 00:07:01,722 --> 00:07:05,459 I said, "Afrim, if you can write as well as you add..." 73 00:07:05,493 --> 00:07:07,628 I didn't even have to finish my sentence. 74 00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:08,829 Twelve days later 75 00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:12,032 he hands me this masterpiece. 76 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,034 Thank you, boss. 77 00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:15,836 Tell them the title. 78 00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:18,205 Chubby Rain. 79 00:07:19,139 --> 00:07:20,608 What? 80 00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:23,143 Chubby Rain. Tell them why. 81 00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:26,046 The aliens come down to Earth in raindrops. 82 00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:27,815 Yeah. 83 00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:30,083 Making the raindrops chubby. 84 00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:31,952 BOWFINGER: Aliens in raindrops. Chubby Rain. 85 00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:33,521 And at the end 86 00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:35,489 our hero, Keith Kincaid, 87 00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:39,560 looks up at the alien antenna and says, "Gotcha, suckas!" 88 00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:44,131 I mean, that is a moment. 89 00:07:47,635 --> 00:07:48,702 I don't know. 90 00:07:48,736 --> 00:07:50,638 Give me a day to close the deal. 91 00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:52,806 If I don't, you can leave. 92 00:07:53,273 --> 00:07:55,576 (VAN HONKING) 93 00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:58,879 Come here. Come here. 94 00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:05,553 See that FedEx truck? 95 00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:14,194 Every day, it delivers important papers to people. 96 00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:16,830 One day, it is going to stop here 97 00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:18,866 and a man will walk up 98 00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:22,069 and casually toss some FedExes on my desk. 99 00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:26,106 And at that moment, we and by "we," I mean "me" 100 00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:27,641 will be important. 101 00:08:27,675 --> 00:08:28,742 Wow. 102 00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:33,714 Now, today, I have a very important meeting 103 00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:35,215 with Jerry Renfro. 104 00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:36,316 (WHISTLING) 105 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,619 If it goes the way I think it will 106 00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:40,554 I will see you 107 00:08:40,588 --> 00:08:41,889 at the Oscars. 108 00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:42,115 (WHISTLING) Good job, Dave. 109 00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:44,685 You have to bring it back in 45 minutes. 110 00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:45,886 Has Renfro left? 111 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,087 Yeah. 112 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,789 He should be at the restaurant. 113 00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:51,925 If this meeting goes well, you're cameraman. 114 00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:53,060 You know what that means? 115 00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:54,928 You're living up to your promise? 116 00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:56,830 That's right. 117 00:09:56,864 --> 00:10:01,068 And if this movie gets made, I'm giving you my van. 118 00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:04,972 It is my van. 119 00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:44,111 Hi. 120 00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,847 Can you seat me next to Jerry Renfro? 121 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,348 Thank you. 122 00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:51,084 Tony, how are you? 123 00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:54,087 Say the deal back to me. 124 00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:56,189 Net net? 125 00:10:56,223 --> 00:10:58,992 If I'm putting $85 million into an avalanche movie 126 00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:01,061 I want to know where the snow is, 127 00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:03,764 and what asshole will direct. 128 00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:05,332 We need a director. 129 00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:06,466 Get me a list. 130 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:07,901 The star has to be international. 131 00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:10,337 I need an international star. 132 00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:13,440 Who's the star, Ed? 133 00:11:13,473 --> 00:11:15,075 Kit Ramsey? 134 00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:16,343 Kit Ramsey is the hottest, 135 00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:18,411 sexiest action star in the world. 136 00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:20,914 When I think of Kit Ramsey in this movie, 137 00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:22,816 I get comfortable. 138 00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:24,151 I won't bid against... 139 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,119 (BABBLES) 140 00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:30,490 Even if Kit Ramsey's interested, we may not want Kit Ramsey. 141 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:34,227 Can you believe this? Now they're telling us who to cast. 142 00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:35,763 Get me Kit. 143 00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:37,931 Get me Kit right now. 144 00:11:37,965 --> 00:11:39,232 You don't put me on hold. 145 00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:40,801 I put you on hold. 146 00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:42,770 Put me on hold, you're dead. 147 00:11:44,504 --> 00:11:47,207 Jerry, hi. Bobby Bowfinger, Bowfinger Films. 148 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,076 We worked on that thing together. 149 00:11:49,109 --> 00:11:50,210 What thing? 150 00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:52,412 The, uh, famous movie. 151 00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:56,817 Oh, hi, Kit. How are you? 152 00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:58,418 My man! 153 00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:00,788 How's Delores? 154 00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:02,322 Good. 155 00:12:02,355 --> 00:12:04,457 You are first in line for the script. 156 00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:06,459 You can't be more first. 157 00:12:06,493 --> 00:12:08,796 Can I talk to him? 158 00:12:08,829 --> 00:12:10,931 Can I talk to Kit? 159 00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:13,066 Absolutely. Hey, Kit. 160 00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:14,267 I have a surprise for you. 161 00:12:14,301 --> 00:12:16,003 Kit? 162 00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:17,470 I'm losing you. 163 00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:19,172 Bad line? 164 00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:20,974 These telephones are so bad. 165 00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:23,243 Universal is begging me for this script. 166 00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:24,878 But I don't want to give it to them. They screwed me once. 167 00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:27,247 You should look at it. 168 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,052 It starts nice. 169 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:35,255 It does, doesn't it? 170 00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:39,059 "Gotcha, suckas!" 171 00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,160 What a catchphrase. 172 00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:41,428 Isn't it good? 173 00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:43,330 I just saw the poster. 174 00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:47,267 Let's be risky today. I'm going with this. 175 00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,937 Bring me this script and Kit Ramsey 176 00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,105 and you got a go picture, Bobby. 177 00:12:53,406 --> 00:12:56,143 Okay. Thanks. 178 00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:00,981 I love what you do. 179 00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:02,349 Here's my card. 180 00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:05,418 Just keep that. 181 00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:11,291 What was that? 182 00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:12,860 A go picture! 183 00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:14,361 A go picture! 184 00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:18,498 Do you know anyone who knows Kit Ramsey? 185 00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:21,434 KIT: I'm the biggest black action star in the world! 186 00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:23,003 Where's my "Hasta la vista, baby"? 187 00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:24,104 What? 188 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,472 My "Hasta la vista." 189 00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:28,175 If Arnold Schwarzen cracker gets lines like that 190 00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:31,144 then I deserve equally well written shit! 191 00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:32,479 The script has that moment. 192 00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:33,580 When? 193 00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:35,983 You say, "I enjoyed meeting you, Cliff" 194 00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:38,485 and push the guy off the cliff. 195 00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:40,120 That's too much for the audience to think about! 196 00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,188 The guy's name is Cliff, 197 00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:44,491 he's on a cliff, it's too cerebral! 198 00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:46,493 We're making a movie, not a film! 199 00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:48,862 You're the agent! 200 00:13:48,896 --> 00:13:51,098 I want a line as good as when 201 00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:53,433 I told Tommy Lee Jones "Fuck you!" and blew his brains out. 202 00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:55,468 You know what's happening here? 203 00:13:55,502 --> 00:14:00,073 It's another example of the white man taking the best catchphrases 204 00:14:00,107 --> 00:14:02,142 and giving them to Arnold or Stallone. 205 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,912 And Jackie Chan and Van Damme. 206 00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:06,346 They can't even speak English good! 207 00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:08,882 And there's some covert shit going on. 208 00:14:08,916 --> 00:14:10,650 I just found out the other day. 209 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,920 Come in here! 210 00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:15,088 Come on! Everybody! 211 00:14:15,122 --> 00:14:17,124 What is it? 212 00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:20,560 I scanned the script to see how many times the letter "K" 213 00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,095 appears in it. 214 00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:27,434 The letter "K" appears in this script 1,456 times. 215 00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:29,536 That's perfectly divisible by 3. 216 00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:30,904 So what are you saying? 217 00:14:30,938 --> 00:14:32,339 What am I saying? 218 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:35,308 "KKK" appears in this script 486 times! 219 00:14:42,950 --> 00:14:44,017 Kit... 220 00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:45,285 It's deep! The sickness is deep! 221 00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:47,120 He's playing you. I've been played. 222 00:14:47,154 --> 00:14:49,056 That's not the case. 223 00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:51,058 This is a great script. 224 00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:52,625 It's not Shakespeare, but... 225 00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:54,294 What did you say? 226 00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:56,296 I said, it's not Shakespeare... 227 00:14:56,329 --> 00:14:59,099 It's no shake... Did you hear what he's doing? 228 00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:00,433 He's doing something. 229 00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:03,103 I just can't put my finger on it. 230 00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:04,237 What's he doing? 231 00:15:04,271 --> 00:15:07,107 Shakespeare, Freddy! 232 00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:09,977 Shake-a-spear. Spear-chucker. 233 00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:11,144 I'm a spear-chucker now. 234 00:15:11,178 --> 00:15:13,246 You calling me a spear-chucker? 235 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:14,447 AGENT: I didn't say that! 236 00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:16,649 Oh, it's my imagination. 237 00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:19,186 And they didn't put a chip in La Toya Jackson's brain. 238 00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:20,487 She just acts like that. 239 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:23,090 And Teddy Kennedy ain't 1/16th black. 240 00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:24,657 He's not like the other Kennedys! 241 00:15:24,691 --> 00:15:26,093 He looks different! 242 00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:27,227 I have to make some calls. 243 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:30,263 Yeah, go call Arnold and Sly 244 00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:32,065 and Van Damme and Jackie Chan! 245 00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:34,634 Tell them the spear-chucker said hello! 246 00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:15,675 Get my door as fast as you get to Tom Hanks! 247 00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:17,310 Who are you? 248 00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:19,312 Script delivery from Paramount. 249 00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:20,780 Paramount ain't sending me any scripts. 250 00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,382 I meant Universal. 251 00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:24,417 Oh. Maybe so. 252 00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:26,186 You have to sign. 253 00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:27,087 I ain't signing shit. 254 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,555 It's all good. 255 00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:30,223 This script is buttah. 256 00:16:30,257 --> 00:16:31,391 Buttah, it's buttah. 257 00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:34,227 It's all good. 258 00:16:34,261 --> 00:16:36,529 It's jiggy, baby. 259 00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:38,065 KIT: How do you know it's jiggy? 260 00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:40,133 I read it. 261 00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:41,034 You read my script? Yes! 262 00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:42,469 I loved it. 263 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:45,438 It's science fiction, which we know sells. 264 00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:48,541 Shut up. Shut up. Listen to me. 265 00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:50,110 Don't you read my stuff. 266 00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:51,211 Now get off the property. 267 00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:53,113 I just got a little excited. 268 00:16:53,146 --> 00:16:55,248 I'm off to my Mind Head meeting. 269 00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:57,584 Mind Head? 270 00:16:58,751 --> 00:17:00,153 Mind Head? 271 00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:02,255 Mind Head! You need a lift? 272 00:17:02,289 --> 00:17:03,523 Mind Head! I can't believe it. 273 00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:04,557 Get in! 274 00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:07,160 Thank you. What a coincidence! 275 00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:08,195 Who's your guide? Terry Stricter. 276 00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:09,296 Yours? 277 00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:10,397 Ray. 278 00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:33,420 It's people like you who give Mind Head a bad name, 279 00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:35,355 you lying sack of shit! 280 00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:41,661 Read the script! I'm a big time producer with clout! 281 00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:56,509 MAN ON P.A.: Welcome to Mind Head. 282 00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:00,280 Welcome to Mind Head. 283 00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:02,615 Welcome to Mind Head. 284 00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:06,319 Welcome to Mind Head. 285 00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:11,591 Welcome to Mind Head. 286 00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:14,327 It seems as though you are doing much better. 287 00:18:15,262 --> 00:18:16,863 Yes. Yes. 288 00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:20,167 Your paranoia is definitely under control 289 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:25,138 since you came to understand happy premise number one. 290 00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:28,475 Happy premise number one, there are no aliens. 291 00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:30,510 Happy premise number two? 292 00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:31,478 Happy premise number two, 293 00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:34,314 there is no giant foot trying to squash me. 294 00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:36,349 Happy premise number three. 295 00:18:36,383 --> 00:18:38,651 Happy premise number three, 296 00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:41,688 though I feel like I might ignite, I probably won't. 297 00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:44,591 So what do we do? 298 00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:50,363 Keep it together. 299 00:18:50,397 --> 00:18:52,732 Keep it together. Keep it together. 300 00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:56,736 And what is it we don't do, under any circumstances? 301 00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:58,638 Oh, man. 302 00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:00,373 What is it? 303 00:19:00,407 --> 00:19:02,542 I have to show it to the Laker Girls. 304 00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:05,912 You cannot show it to the Laker Girls. 305 00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:09,349 Keep Mr. Weenie in the pants. 306 00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:11,751 Always in the pants. 307 00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:14,187 I know you want to show it to the Laker Girls 308 00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:16,823 but you must never show it to the Laker Girls. 309 00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:51,258 Well? 310 00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:52,692 What did he say? 311 00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:55,662 Betsy, come here. 312 00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,297 Come here. 313 00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:58,398 Sit. 314 00:19:58,831 --> 00:19:59,732 Come. 315 00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:01,634 Sit. 316 00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:05,672 Good girl! Come here. 317 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:06,739 What a good girl. 318 00:20:06,773 --> 00:20:07,974 Is she amazing or what? 319 00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:09,676 What did he say? 320 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:10,843 All right. 321 00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:14,013 Okay. Okay. 322 00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:17,450 I'm meeting with Jerry Renfro and it's going very well. 323 00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:20,720 But I'm looking at him and thinking, 324 00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:22,322 I don't need him. 325 00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:23,556 What I need 326 00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:25,492 is someone like a Kit Ramsey. 327 00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:28,628 Kit Ramsey makes this a go picture. 328 00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:31,264 So I went to see Kit at his home. 329 00:20:31,298 --> 00:20:32,465 Oh, my God. 330 00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:36,369 And what did he say? 331 00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:38,905 What did who say? 332 00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:40,507 What did Kit Ramsey say? What did Kit Ramsey say? 333 00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:41,908 Okay. 334 00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:45,812 So, I'm meeting with Kit at his home... 335 00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:47,380 Oh, and he knew who I was. 336 00:20:47,414 --> 00:20:48,948 Big fan. 337 00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:51,718 And I gave him the script and he looked at the script. 338 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,853 And I said, "Well? 339 00:20:53,886 --> 00:20:56,389 "Are you interested in doing this movie?" 340 00:20:56,889 --> 00:20:58,257 And 341 00:21:00,026 --> 00:21:02,862 Kit looked at me, 342 00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:05,732 and he said... 343 00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:13,706 Kit 344 00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:16,443 just 345 00:21:18,044 --> 00:21:19,679 said 346 00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:24,684 "Yes." 347 00:21:29,389 --> 00:21:31,758 Kit Ramsey said "yes"? 348 00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:36,596 Kit Ramsey is doing this movie! 349 00:21:48,841 --> 00:21:50,810 You told them we'd make the movie? 350 00:21:50,843 --> 00:21:52,779 That's right. I did. 351 00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:54,447 You have to tell them. 352 00:21:54,481 --> 00:21:55,682 Tell them what? 353 00:21:55,715 --> 00:21:56,916 We're not making it. 354 00:21:56,949 --> 00:21:57,984 What? 355 00:21:58,017 --> 00:21:59,952 Dave, I made them a promise. 356 00:21:59,986 --> 00:22:02,922 But Kit Ramsey said "no." 357 00:22:02,955 --> 00:22:05,858 You think I haven't thought about that? 358 00:22:05,892 --> 00:22:08,528 We will make the movie with Kit Ramsey, except... 359 00:22:08,561 --> 00:22:09,629 Except what? 360 00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:11,664 He won't know he's in it. 361 00:22:13,533 --> 00:22:14,534 What? 362 00:22:15,535 --> 00:22:17,737 We secretly film him. 363 00:22:17,770 --> 00:22:19,906 Our actors walk up to him and say their lines. 364 00:22:19,939 --> 00:22:20,973 He's in our movie. 365 00:22:21,007 --> 00:22:22,742 And we don't have to pay him. 366 00:22:22,775 --> 00:22:24,444 What will he say? 367 00:22:25,445 --> 00:22:26,913 Who cares? 368 00:22:26,946 --> 00:22:28,014 It's an action movie. 369 00:22:28,047 --> 00:22:29,549 All he has to do is run. 370 00:22:29,582 --> 00:22:30,750 He runs from the aliens. 371 00:22:30,783 --> 00:22:32,919 He runs to the aliens. 372 00:22:32,952 --> 00:22:34,787 Let me show you something. 373 00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:38,725 I have this all worked out, I think. 374 00:22:40,727 --> 00:22:43,696 Kit is in six scenes. 375 00:22:43,730 --> 00:22:45,532 He's not in the other scenes, 376 00:22:45,565 --> 00:22:48,067 so we shoot those with our actors on our own time. 377 00:22:48,100 --> 00:22:49,902 And, bingo! We have a movie. 378 00:22:51,438 --> 00:22:52,705 That's crazy. 379 00:22:52,739 --> 00:22:56,075 Yeah, but we're desperate. 380 00:22:56,108 --> 00:22:59,612 Why not just wait until a star wants to be in it? 381 00:22:59,646 --> 00:23:02,014 Dave, I'm 49 years old. 382 00:23:02,048 --> 00:23:05,051 Admittedly, I could get away with 44, 41. 383 00:23:05,084 --> 00:23:06,619 Maybe 38. 384 00:23:06,653 --> 00:23:08,888 But when you hit 50, they don't hire you. 385 00:23:08,921 --> 00:23:11,190 It's like they can smell 50. 386 00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:12,959 What's that? 387 00:23:15,728 --> 00:23:20,533 When I was ten, I knew I wanted to make movies. 388 00:23:20,567 --> 00:23:24,103 So I started putting away $1 every week of my life. 389 00:23:24,136 --> 00:23:26,205 If I missed a week, I made it up later. 390 00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:27,840 From age ten on. 391 00:23:28,875 --> 00:23:31,110 And now 392 00:23:31,143 --> 00:23:35,014 you're looking at enough to get us started. $2,184. 393 00:23:36,616 --> 00:23:39,085 But movies cost millions of dollars. 394 00:23:39,118 --> 00:23:42,922 That's after gross, net, deduction, profit, percentage, 395 00:23:42,955 --> 00:23:45,925 deferment, ten percent of the nut. 396 00:23:45,958 --> 00:23:48,528 Cash? Every movie costs $2,184. 397 00:24:08,981 --> 00:24:11,618 Where do I go to be an actress? 398 00:24:47,554 --> 00:24:49,889 Okay, that was nice. 399 00:24:49,922 --> 00:24:52,224 We have your photos and we'll call you when we decide. 400 00:24:52,258 --> 00:24:53,526 I have new photos. 401 00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:55,227 No, these are good. 402 00:24:55,261 --> 00:24:57,163 You hated me. No, you were good. 403 00:24:57,196 --> 00:24:58,531 Very good. 404 00:25:03,636 --> 00:25:05,905 She was good. 405 00:25:05,938 --> 00:25:07,940 She had the personality of a Kansas zip code. 406 00:25:07,974 --> 00:25:09,942 She didn't have "it." 407 00:25:10,577 --> 00:25:11,778 What's "it"? 408 00:25:13,646 --> 00:25:15,748 "It" is a special quality. 409 00:25:15,782 --> 00:25:19,118 It's when you cannot take your eyes off a person. 410 00:25:19,151 --> 00:25:22,088 Every word, every gesture you're interested in. 411 00:25:23,590 --> 00:25:24,924 Do I have "it"? 412 00:25:25,958 --> 00:25:28,027 I'm sorry. What? 413 00:25:30,697 --> 00:25:32,031 Do I have "it"? 414 00:25:34,601 --> 00:25:36,035 Yes, you do. 415 00:25:37,336 --> 00:25:39,271 I thought I did. 416 00:25:39,305 --> 00:25:40,339 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 417 00:25:40,372 --> 00:25:42,642 Next. Who's next? 418 00:25:42,675 --> 00:25:44,811 Is this where I go to be a star? 419 00:25:44,844 --> 00:25:46,679 BOWFINGER: This is where you go to sacrifice, learn your craft 420 00:25:46,713 --> 00:25:48,014 and work hard. 421 00:25:49,148 --> 00:25:50,316 Does that take more than a week? 422 00:25:50,349 --> 00:25:52,084 I gave myself a week. 423 00:25:52,118 --> 00:25:54,020 That's this office. 424 00:25:54,053 --> 00:25:55,154 Okay, we'll take a chance. 425 00:25:55,187 --> 00:25:57,690 See if you have "it." 426 00:25:57,724 --> 00:25:59,859 See if you have a special quality. 427 00:25:59,892 --> 00:26:02,795 See if you have the illusion of the first time. 428 00:26:04,363 --> 00:26:06,633 Where do I pay? It's $25, right? 429 00:26:06,666 --> 00:26:07,700 A check? 430 00:26:07,734 --> 00:26:09,769 I have I.D. 431 00:26:09,802 --> 00:26:13,205 A less solid company might take a check, but we only take cash. 432 00:26:15,407 --> 00:26:16,843 But I don't have any cash on me. 433 00:26:16,876 --> 00:26:18,110 I have cash 434 00:26:18,144 --> 00:26:21,380 but the banks aren't open, and... 435 00:26:21,413 --> 00:26:24,216 There, there, there. There's the door. 436 00:26:24,250 --> 00:26:27,119 I'm sorry, we can't let you audition. 437 00:26:27,153 --> 00:26:29,221 DAISY: But I just arrived from Ohio. 438 00:26:29,255 --> 00:26:30,356 BOWFINGER: Sorry. 439 00:26:30,389 --> 00:26:31,691 Sorry. 440 00:26:31,724 --> 00:26:33,259 There. There you go. 441 00:26:33,292 --> 00:26:34,794 Good-bye. 442 00:26:34,827 --> 00:26:36,629 She looked good. 443 00:26:36,663 --> 00:26:37,830 I mean, like she could act. 444 00:26:37,864 --> 00:26:41,267 Yeah, but if they don't pay to audition, it's dangerous. 445 00:26:41,300 --> 00:26:42,268 How? 446 00:26:42,301 --> 00:26:45,037 If she gets cast, she might want to be paid. 447 00:26:45,071 --> 00:26:46,138 But she had "it." 448 00:26:46,172 --> 00:26:48,808 Look, I didn't make the system. 449 00:26:52,745 --> 00:26:55,181 Okay. If you want the responsibility, fine. 450 00:27:03,422 --> 00:27:05,357 I talked it over with the man. 451 00:27:05,391 --> 00:27:07,426 He'll take a check. 452 00:27:07,459 --> 00:27:09,228 He will? Yes. 453 00:27:10,262 --> 00:27:11,397 He listens to you? 454 00:27:11,430 --> 00:27:13,199 Yeah. 455 00:27:17,169 --> 00:27:19,371 I could never be with you, Todd. 456 00:27:19,405 --> 00:27:20,873 I'm loyal to Keith. 457 00:27:20,907 --> 00:27:22,341 I'm loyal to him. 458 00:27:22,374 --> 00:27:25,812 I could never, never kiss you. 459 00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:42,661 (MOANS) 460 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:52,438 (MOANING) 461 00:28:14,026 --> 00:28:15,795 Okay, that was very good. 462 00:28:15,828 --> 00:28:17,229 Let's try it again, 463 00:28:17,263 --> 00:28:19,298 Slater, this time without the erection. 464 00:28:21,300 --> 00:28:22,434 Thank you, Mr. Bowfinger! 465 00:28:22,468 --> 00:28:23,402 Thank you! 466 00:28:23,435 --> 00:28:25,071 Thank you! 467 00:28:29,842 --> 00:28:33,345 Afrim, we need a crew and I want the best damn crew we can afford. 468 00:28:35,381 --> 00:28:37,049 (MAN SHOUTING) 469 00:28:39,118 --> 00:28:40,953 (GUNS FIRING) 470 00:28:40,987 --> 00:28:42,321 In here! In here! 471 00:28:44,023 --> 00:28:45,357 Come on! In here! 472 00:28:45,391 --> 00:28:47,026 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 473 00:28:47,059 --> 00:28:49,261 Welcome to America! Welcome to America! 474 00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:02,308 So happy to meet you. 475 00:29:02,341 --> 00:29:03,475 This will be great. 476 00:29:03,509 --> 00:29:05,477 I can tell you know what you're doing. 477 00:29:05,511 --> 00:29:07,213 Glad to have you aboard. 478 00:29:13,252 --> 00:29:16,923 We just closed Kit's deal! 479 00:29:16,956 --> 00:29:18,290 Typical deal points. 480 00:29:18,324 --> 00:29:20,026 Name over the title, 481 00:29:20,059 --> 00:29:21,227 we get one take with Kit. 482 00:29:21,260 --> 00:29:22,829 One take? 483 00:29:22,862 --> 00:29:24,096 He doesn't want to see the camera. 484 00:29:24,130 --> 00:29:25,231 How come? 485 00:29:25,264 --> 00:29:26,532 It's how he works. 486 00:29:26,565 --> 00:29:28,167 He's so into his character, 487 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:30,803 seeing the camera breaks his concentration. 488 00:29:30,837 --> 00:29:32,271 When do we start? 489 00:29:32,304 --> 00:29:34,573 We have the contract, so we start tomorrow at 7:00 a.m. 490 00:29:34,606 --> 00:29:38,210 ALL: Yeah! 491 00:29:43,983 --> 00:29:46,085 What is it? 492 00:29:46,118 --> 00:29:47,920 I wish you could see what I see. 493 00:29:47,954 --> 00:29:49,822 What do you see, boss? 494 00:29:51,490 --> 00:29:53,225 The most promising group of young professionals 495 00:29:53,259 --> 00:29:55,127 I've ever worked with. 496 00:30:07,874 --> 00:30:09,108 DAVE: Hey, Cliff. 497 00:30:09,141 --> 00:30:10,442 CLIFF: Morning, Dave. 498 00:30:26,625 --> 00:30:28,060 Good camera. Yeah. 499 00:30:28,094 --> 00:30:30,029 It goes back each night or it's a felony. 500 00:30:30,062 --> 00:30:31,230 Years you'd get. You'd get. 501 00:30:31,263 --> 00:30:33,299 Daisy, come here. 502 00:30:33,332 --> 00:30:36,502 What if Daisy said, "It's a tough world," not "rough world"? 503 00:30:36,535 --> 00:30:39,105 Fine. Slater, the briefcase. 504 00:30:39,138 --> 00:30:40,572 Why bring his briefcase if I'm worried? 505 00:30:40,606 --> 00:30:43,209 It's a metaphor for the relationship. 506 00:30:43,242 --> 00:30:44,310 It's a symbol. 507 00:30:44,343 --> 00:30:46,345 Shouldn't I be in this scene? 508 00:30:46,378 --> 00:30:48,280 I could lurk behind a bush. 509 00:30:52,218 --> 00:30:53,485 No! Come on! Come on! 510 00:30:53,519 --> 00:30:56,355 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 511 00:31:06,665 --> 00:31:09,401 Okay, this is it! Places, everyone! 512 00:31:10,269 --> 00:31:12,338 Roll! Speed! Marker! 513 00:31:15,174 --> 00:31:17,109 Don't let him see the camera. 514 00:31:18,477 --> 00:31:20,312 And action. 515 00:31:26,018 --> 00:31:27,486 Go, Daisy! 516 00:31:31,257 --> 00:31:32,691 Back to Daisy! 517 00:31:32,724 --> 00:31:35,094 Keith, you forgot your briefcase! 518 00:31:35,127 --> 00:31:37,396 Keith! You're upset! 519 00:31:37,429 --> 00:31:41,100 One slip up in your tough, crime filled world 520 00:31:41,133 --> 00:31:42,668 and you could die! 521 00:31:42,701 --> 00:31:44,103 Keith! 522 00:31:44,136 --> 00:31:45,337 Keith! 523 00:31:45,371 --> 00:31:47,573 Keith. 524 00:31:47,606 --> 00:31:50,209 Is your name Keith? 525 00:31:50,242 --> 00:31:52,144 No, I'm Jimmy. 526 00:31:52,178 --> 00:31:54,280 But thanks for asking. 527 00:31:58,384 --> 00:31:59,986 And, cut! 528 00:32:01,153 --> 00:32:03,255 We got our first shot! 529 00:32:03,289 --> 00:32:04,456 (SHOUTING) 530 00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:10,496 Okay, here it comes. 531 00:32:13,732 --> 00:32:15,701 Come on. Work, baby, work! 532 00:32:27,179 --> 00:32:31,350 Keith, you forgot your briefcase! 533 00:32:31,383 --> 00:32:32,451 You're upset! 534 00:32:32,484 --> 00:32:33,785 One slip up 535 00:32:33,819 --> 00:32:36,722 in your tough, crime filled world and you could die! 536 00:32:36,755 --> 00:32:38,224 It worked. 537 00:32:38,257 --> 00:32:39,992 It looked like Daisy came out of the house. 538 00:32:40,026 --> 00:32:41,427 This movie will work! 539 00:32:50,402 --> 00:32:52,004 Dave, did you wash my car? 540 00:32:52,038 --> 00:32:53,505 I'm working on it. 541 00:32:55,307 --> 00:32:57,376 Okay, one scene down. 542 00:32:57,409 --> 00:32:59,111 (PHONE RINGING) 543 00:33:01,247 --> 00:33:02,481 Yeah? DAVE: Bowfinger. 544 00:33:02,514 --> 00:33:04,383 Here's what I got. 545 00:33:04,416 --> 00:33:07,453 Kit and his agent will be at the Rodeo Grille tomorrow at 12:45. 546 00:33:07,486 --> 00:33:08,554 Will we be there? 547 00:33:08,587 --> 00:33:10,989 You bet. You're a genius. 548 00:33:29,208 --> 00:33:31,210 BOWFINGER: Can you see over there? 549 00:33:31,243 --> 00:33:32,578 Can you see Kit? 550 00:33:34,246 --> 00:33:35,614 AGENT: Am I trying for you? 551 00:33:35,647 --> 00:33:40,352 KIT: You're trying, but I know I ain't gonna 552 00:33:40,386 --> 00:33:42,588 be treated like Mighty Whitey. 553 00:33:47,759 --> 00:33:50,696 I put 25 years in the theater before coming to Hollywood. 554 00:33:50,729 --> 00:33:52,398 Carol? 555 00:33:53,332 --> 00:33:54,733 We're almost ready. 556 00:33:54,766 --> 00:33:58,204 Why can't I meet the man I'm going to be working with? 557 00:33:58,237 --> 00:34:02,441 He wants to impress you and he needs total concentration. 558 00:34:02,474 --> 00:34:04,610 Oh, that's just young. 559 00:34:04,643 --> 00:34:07,379 I'd like to work with someone who's honed his craft. 560 00:34:07,413 --> 00:34:10,149 Yes, but now we need that scene. 561 00:34:10,182 --> 00:34:12,084 You'll get your scene. 562 00:34:12,118 --> 00:34:13,819 He may not be a professional. 563 00:34:13,852 --> 00:34:15,121 But I am. 564 00:34:15,154 --> 00:34:16,422 Oh, Carol. 565 00:34:29,601 --> 00:34:31,870 White boys get all the Oscars. 566 00:34:31,903 --> 00:34:33,472 Yes, but... 567 00:34:33,505 --> 00:34:35,441 Did I get nominated? No. 568 00:34:35,474 --> 00:34:37,843 'Cause I won't play them slave roles. 569 00:34:37,876 --> 00:34:39,478 Then you get nominated. 570 00:34:39,511 --> 00:34:41,747 Black dude plays a slave, gets nominated. 571 00:34:41,780 --> 00:34:43,449 White boy play an idiot, he gets the Oscar. 572 00:34:43,482 --> 00:34:45,851 Find a script with a retarded slave. 573 00:34:45,884 --> 00:34:48,187 Then I get the Oscar. 574 00:34:48,220 --> 00:34:49,288 (EXCLAIMS) 575 00:34:49,321 --> 00:34:50,689 I'm going to go schmooze. 576 00:34:50,722 --> 00:34:52,224 Be right back. 577 00:34:52,258 --> 00:34:54,493 Yeah, go find that script. 578 00:34:54,526 --> 00:34:56,228 Buck, the wonder slave. 579 00:34:56,262 --> 00:34:57,629 Here we go! 580 00:35:04,903 --> 00:35:06,238 Sound! 581 00:35:10,242 --> 00:35:11,477 Lights! 582 00:35:28,694 --> 00:35:30,296 Roll it. 583 00:35:34,233 --> 00:35:37,503 When you left Phoenix, it wasn't to raise soybeans! 584 00:35:37,536 --> 00:35:39,705 You had to get away! Why? 585 00:35:39,738 --> 00:35:43,575 Because you wanted me and it burned inside you? 586 00:35:43,609 --> 00:35:45,411 Excuse me? Come back to Phoenix. 587 00:35:45,444 --> 00:35:47,246 Stop this madness! 588 00:35:47,279 --> 00:35:49,781 Let me in on your mission. 589 00:35:49,815 --> 00:35:50,949 KIT: Do you know who I am? 590 00:35:50,982 --> 00:35:53,719 CAROL: You're Keith Kincaid. 591 00:35:53,752 --> 00:35:56,955 You came down from Wyoming with your damn UFOs. 592 00:35:56,988 --> 00:35:58,490 You bastard! 593 00:35:58,524 --> 00:36:00,759 Bastard! Bastard! 594 00:36:00,792 --> 00:36:04,263 Because you prefer alien love! 595 00:36:04,296 --> 00:36:06,332 Alien love? Why did you say that? 596 00:36:06,365 --> 00:36:08,234 I must get my umbrella. 597 00:36:09,235 --> 00:36:11,670 You triggered the voices! 598 00:36:12,971 --> 00:36:14,373 Freddy! 599 00:36:18,444 --> 00:36:20,379 Take me to Terry Stricter! 600 00:36:20,412 --> 00:36:21,747 Now! 601 00:36:25,284 --> 00:36:26,852 We got it! 602 00:36:26,885 --> 00:36:29,288 Strange people are coming to me, 603 00:36:29,321 --> 00:36:31,957 speaking in Jupiterian or Venutian or something. 604 00:36:31,990 --> 00:36:36,262 Strangers come up to you and you don't understand them. 605 00:36:36,295 --> 00:36:37,329 What is that? 606 00:36:37,363 --> 00:36:38,697 Maybe they're fans. 607 00:36:38,730 --> 00:36:39,898 Crazy fans. 608 00:36:39,931 --> 00:36:41,800 They talk to me, 609 00:36:41,833 --> 00:36:44,603 but in some secret white language I can't decode! 610 00:36:44,636 --> 00:36:45,904 It's horrifying! 611 00:36:45,937 --> 00:36:49,541 And what do these crazy people who speak to you 612 00:36:49,575 --> 00:36:51,777 and make no sense say? 613 00:36:51,810 --> 00:36:53,612 They talk about things I never heard of, 614 00:36:53,645 --> 00:36:54,680 people I don't know. 615 00:36:54,713 --> 00:36:56,548 Someone named Keith! 616 00:36:56,582 --> 00:36:58,784 And aliens and sex and umbrellas. 617 00:37:00,386 --> 00:37:01,553 I see. 618 00:37:02,354 --> 00:37:03,422 Kit? 619 00:37:06,358 --> 00:37:08,794 Do you think you can keep it together? 620 00:37:09,828 --> 00:37:11,597 Yes. 621 00:37:11,630 --> 00:37:14,466 I'm keeping it together. K-I-T, keep it together. 622 00:37:14,500 --> 00:37:15,334 I'm keeping it together. 623 00:37:15,367 --> 00:37:18,404 I'm keeping it together! 624 00:37:18,437 --> 00:37:20,739 Don't I look together? 625 00:37:20,772 --> 00:37:22,674 Have you heard any more voices? 626 00:37:23,842 --> 00:37:24,876 No. 627 00:37:29,448 --> 00:37:30,782 Well, now and then I hear a voice. 628 00:37:30,816 --> 00:37:33,452 I haven't heard voices. 629 00:37:33,485 --> 00:37:36,788 And what did this one voice say? 630 00:37:42,628 --> 00:37:45,531 As I stand here before you today 631 00:37:45,564 --> 00:37:47,933 the Laker Girls cheerleading squad 632 00:37:47,966 --> 00:37:50,736 needs to be taken down a peg or two. 633 00:37:56,975 --> 00:37:59,711 You know, last night was really special. 634 00:38:00,979 --> 00:38:03,715 It was. I've never done it lying down before. 635 00:38:05,517 --> 00:38:06,685 You know, next time... 636 00:38:06,718 --> 00:38:08,019 Yeah? 637 00:38:08,053 --> 00:38:11,990 I think I'd like to do it with just two condoms. 638 00:38:12,023 --> 00:38:15,627 Well, if I was in the movie more, yeah. 639 00:38:15,661 --> 00:38:17,095 If I was in the movie more, 640 00:38:17,128 --> 00:38:20,432 we'd be equals and I'd trust you more. 641 00:38:20,466 --> 00:38:22,000 We have lots of scenes together. 642 00:38:22,033 --> 00:38:24,670 I love our scenes. 643 00:38:24,703 --> 00:38:27,339 But I should have more scenes with Kit. 644 00:38:27,373 --> 00:38:28,640 If I had more scenes with Kit, 645 00:38:28,674 --> 00:38:32,711 that would pump up our scenes. 646 00:38:32,744 --> 00:38:35,080 Afrim would be in charge of that. 647 00:38:35,113 --> 00:38:36,782 He's the screenwriter. 648 00:38:38,784 --> 00:38:40,886 So, the writer's in charge of that? 649 00:38:49,728 --> 00:38:51,096 I have the pages. 650 00:38:51,129 --> 00:38:52,364 What pages? 651 00:38:52,398 --> 00:38:54,933 The new pages. 652 00:38:54,966 --> 00:38:57,903 I think if Daisy had more scenes with Kit, it would, 653 00:38:57,936 --> 00:39:00,372 uh, pump up the scenes with Slater. 654 00:39:00,406 --> 00:39:02,808 So I wrote more scenes for Daisy and Kit. 655 00:39:02,841 --> 00:39:07,613 Some hot scenes where there is, uh, heat and chemistry. 656 00:39:07,646 --> 00:39:08,747 But... 657 00:39:08,780 --> 00:39:11,683 You see, these new hot scenes, 658 00:39:11,717 --> 00:39:14,553 in which Daisy exposes her breasts 659 00:39:14,586 --> 00:39:17,589 will increase sales in Thailand. 660 00:39:17,623 --> 00:39:19,057 BOWFINGER: Daisy agreed to this? 661 00:39:19,090 --> 00:39:21,026 AFRIM: Yes. Though I haven't talked to her. 662 00:39:21,059 --> 00:39:22,093 Baby. 663 00:39:22,127 --> 00:39:23,495 Hi. 664 00:39:26,598 --> 00:39:27,599 Hello. 665 00:39:28,567 --> 00:39:31,537 "A vixen in stretch pants. 666 00:39:31,570 --> 00:39:34,139 "What man wouldn't want a hot virgin?" 667 00:39:35,173 --> 00:39:36,608 Okay. 668 00:39:36,642 --> 00:39:38,043 You'll do this? 669 00:39:38,076 --> 00:39:44,182 And if it's artistic and says something about reality. 670 00:39:44,215 --> 00:39:46,985 And if it's in character and not just... 671 00:39:47,018 --> 00:39:50,021 (PHONE RINGS) Right, right, right, right. 672 00:39:50,055 --> 00:39:52,458 Bowfinger International Pictures, may I direct your call? 673 00:39:52,491 --> 00:39:53,525 Oh, hi. 674 00:39:53,559 --> 00:39:54,693 Kit's at Mind Head. 675 00:39:54,726 --> 00:39:56,528 He could be leaving soon. 676 00:40:02,167 --> 00:40:05,737 Kit feels he's ready to shoot the parking lot scene. 677 00:40:05,771 --> 00:40:06,872 (GASPS) 678 00:40:06,905 --> 00:40:08,940 I love the way this guy works! 679 00:40:32,230 --> 00:40:34,032 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) 680 00:40:43,008 --> 00:40:44,009 (FOOTSTEPS STOP) 681 00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:56,121 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) 682 00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:02,628 (FOOTSTEPS STOP) 683 00:41:34,025 --> 00:41:35,160 (SCREAMS) 684 00:42:01,820 --> 00:42:03,689 Keep it together. 685 00:42:03,722 --> 00:42:05,056 Keep it together. 686 00:42:06,157 --> 00:42:07,793 Keep it together. 687 00:42:27,646 --> 00:42:29,247 And, cut! 688 00:42:30,215 --> 00:42:31,850 Did you get that? 689 00:42:31,883 --> 00:42:32,918 Nice. 690 00:42:32,951 --> 00:42:34,052 What did you see? Fear. 691 00:42:34,085 --> 00:42:35,721 Fear. Mostly fear. 692 00:42:35,754 --> 00:42:36,822 Some insane looks. 693 00:42:36,855 --> 00:42:38,323 Insane looks! 694 00:42:38,356 --> 00:42:39,658 Betsy! 695 00:42:39,691 --> 00:42:40,726 You are such a good girl! 696 00:42:40,759 --> 00:42:43,194 Good, good girl! 697 00:42:43,228 --> 00:42:47,165 Okay, let's get Carol and shoot the other side of this masterpiece. 698 00:43:06,317 --> 00:43:07,753 CAROL: He's brilliant. 699 00:43:07,786 --> 00:43:08,754 BOWFINGER: He is. 700 00:43:09,420 --> 00:43:11,156 His fear is so real. 701 00:43:11,189 --> 00:43:13,625 It's like it's actually happening. 702 00:43:26,071 --> 00:43:27,806 We work really well together. 703 00:43:27,839 --> 00:43:29,207 That's what he said. 704 00:43:36,381 --> 00:43:38,183 Bastard! 705 00:43:40,218 --> 00:43:41,252 Darling. 706 00:43:45,256 --> 00:43:48,159 I respect Kit's way of working, 707 00:43:48,193 --> 00:43:51,863 the no rehearsal, no contact off screen 708 00:43:51,897 --> 00:43:54,099 but it's just so traditional 709 00:43:54,132 --> 00:43:55,433 to meet the person you work with. 710 00:43:55,466 --> 00:43:59,104 You can't meet because we're not doing anything traditional. 711 00:43:59,137 --> 00:44:00,371 We're working in a new style. 712 00:44:00,405 --> 00:44:03,208 It's, uh, cinéma nouveau. 713 00:44:04,976 --> 00:44:06,778 Cinéma nouveau. 714 00:44:08,446 --> 00:44:10,081 (EXCLAIMS) 715 00:44:13,251 --> 00:44:16,354 It felt so good today to quit my job. 716 00:44:16,387 --> 00:44:19,457 I told them, "I'm a screenwriter now." 717 00:44:19,490 --> 00:44:22,093 They said, "You have eight brothers and four sisters. 718 00:44:22,127 --> 00:44:23,795 "How will you earn money?" 719 00:44:23,829 --> 00:44:26,431 I said, "This is more important." 720 00:44:26,464 --> 00:44:30,668 Bobby Bowfinger has given me a chance and I'm going to take it. 721 00:44:31,970 --> 00:44:34,039 You are a great writer. 722 00:44:34,072 --> 00:44:35,406 I love my new scenes. 723 00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:36,842 They're great. 724 00:44:36,875 --> 00:44:38,043 Will they go in? 725 00:44:38,076 --> 00:44:39,978 That's up to Bowfinger. 726 00:44:40,245 --> 00:44:42,748 It is? 727 00:45:02,067 --> 00:45:03,769 That's sharp. 728 00:45:03,802 --> 00:45:05,270 Do the thing. 729 00:45:06,972 --> 00:45:08,173 I'll look good in that. 730 00:45:08,206 --> 00:45:09,407 It's bad. 731 00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:11,977 Take care of it, send it up to my house. 732 00:45:12,010 --> 00:45:15,380 Mr. Ramsey, the store would like to give you these clothes without charge 733 00:45:15,413 --> 00:45:17,515 if you'd come back Friday 734 00:45:17,548 --> 00:45:21,787 and let us photograph you in the clothes for L.A. Style. 735 00:45:21,820 --> 00:45:22,888 I can do that. 736 00:45:22,921 --> 00:45:25,456 It'll cost you $1,000, though. 737 00:45:25,490 --> 00:45:27,025 That can be arranged. 738 00:45:27,058 --> 00:45:28,426 Okay. $100 bills. 739 00:45:28,459 --> 00:45:29,260 Right. 740 00:45:31,162 --> 00:45:33,231 I know I shouldn't be doing this 741 00:45:33,264 --> 00:45:37,268 but I had to say you were so real responding to the aliens. 742 00:45:37,302 --> 00:45:40,305 I wasn't even sure I could be a pod person. 743 00:45:40,338 --> 00:45:42,173 But now I'm enjoying it, 744 00:45:42,207 --> 00:45:47,178 because you made the aliens come alive. 745 00:45:47,212 --> 00:45:49,447 And at first I was nervous about us having sex, 746 00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:50,481 but now I think it's fine, 747 00:45:50,515 --> 00:45:52,818 as long as we do it in a professional manner. 748 00:45:52,851 --> 00:45:55,520 Of course, there will be people watching. 749 00:45:55,553 --> 00:45:57,989 I won't bother you anymore. 750 00:46:10,368 --> 00:46:12,103 He's in the grotto. 751 00:46:16,842 --> 00:46:19,144 What did this alien want from you? 752 00:46:19,177 --> 00:46:21,279 To inhale my gonads. 753 00:46:21,312 --> 00:46:22,380 What? 754 00:46:22,413 --> 00:46:28,053 Aliens come down and shake your hand, but really 755 00:46:28,086 --> 00:46:31,022 they're inhaling your gonads and taking them back to their world for research. 756 00:46:31,056 --> 00:46:33,224 I stopped the sports channel. 757 00:46:33,258 --> 00:46:37,028 No encoded beams from Jupiter will mess with my mind. 758 00:46:37,062 --> 00:46:38,363 Keep it together. 759 00:46:38,396 --> 00:46:40,365 Kit? 760 00:46:40,398 --> 00:46:43,301 Maybe you should stay with us for a few days. 761 00:46:43,334 --> 00:46:47,272 In our special celebrity relaxing quarters. 762 00:46:48,373 --> 00:46:49,574 You think I need that? 763 00:46:49,607 --> 00:46:50,909 I do. 764 00:46:53,011 --> 00:46:54,445 Get my checkbook. 765 00:46:56,547 --> 00:46:58,183 Keep it together. 766 00:47:02,287 --> 00:47:03,922 We can't find Kit. 767 00:47:03,955 --> 00:47:05,223 What? 768 00:47:05,256 --> 00:47:06,591 He's one of the most famous faces in the world. 769 00:47:06,624 --> 00:47:08,559 You can find him. 770 00:47:08,593 --> 00:47:10,561 We can't. 771 00:47:10,595 --> 00:47:12,898 We staked out his house, Mind Head, everywhere. 772 00:47:12,931 --> 00:47:14,332 He's vanished. 773 00:47:14,365 --> 00:47:17,535 We can't shoot our movie without him. 774 00:47:17,568 --> 00:47:19,404 Actors have no work ethic these days. 775 00:47:19,437 --> 00:47:22,373 That cult controls him. 776 00:47:22,407 --> 00:47:24,209 There must be guys who look like Kit. 777 00:47:24,242 --> 00:47:28,479 We'll get a look-alike for the long shots. 778 00:47:28,513 --> 00:47:31,249 Kit showed his ass in 8 of his last 10 films 779 00:47:31,282 --> 00:47:33,284 and those 8 films were hits. 780 00:47:33,318 --> 00:47:35,020 So we need a guy with a great ass. 781 00:47:35,053 --> 00:47:37,255 Mine is the wrong color. 782 00:47:44,930 --> 00:47:48,033 I studied at the Moscow Art Theater for 2 years 783 00:47:48,066 --> 00:47:50,568 then went to the National in London. 784 00:47:50,601 --> 00:47:55,440 I'm currently doing Waiting for Godot here in L.A. 785 00:47:55,473 --> 00:47:57,375 Are you in the union? 786 00:47:57,408 --> 00:47:58,509 Yes, I am. 787 00:48:02,981 --> 00:48:06,484 Currently, I'm working at the Burger King on Douglas. 788 00:48:06,517 --> 00:48:08,386 Have you any experience in film? 789 00:48:08,419 --> 00:48:10,221 Yes, quite a bit. 790 00:48:10,255 --> 00:48:11,489 I have a lot of experience. 791 00:48:11,522 --> 00:48:15,226 I'm an active renter at Blockbuster 792 00:48:15,260 --> 00:48:19,164 and I attend the Film du Cinema 793 00:48:19,197 --> 00:48:21,499 as much as possible. 794 00:48:21,532 --> 00:48:26,471 Weekly, bi-weekly, inter-weekly, intermediately. 795 00:48:26,504 --> 00:48:28,906 Would you mind cutting your hair? 796 00:48:32,043 --> 00:48:35,480 Yes, but it's usually better if someone else does it. 797 00:48:38,683 --> 00:48:41,086 I've had a few accidents. 798 00:48:45,356 --> 00:48:47,092 Can you see without your glasses? 799 00:48:47,125 --> 00:48:48,593 Well, yeah, I can see. 800 00:48:50,195 --> 00:48:52,430 I don't see well, but I can see. 801 00:48:53,731 --> 00:48:54,966 Do you have contacts? 802 00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:56,334 I have contact lenses. 803 00:48:56,367 --> 00:48:58,069 I can wear them. 804 00:48:58,103 --> 00:49:00,438 That will help. 805 00:49:00,471 --> 00:49:01,406 Can I put my glasses back on? 806 00:49:01,439 --> 00:49:02,473 Sure. 807 00:49:02,507 --> 00:49:05,410 I'm getting a headache. 808 00:49:05,443 --> 00:49:09,080 Would you be willing to show your naked rear end in a movie? 809 00:49:18,223 --> 00:49:20,758 Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. 810 00:49:20,791 --> 00:49:22,193 (SNORTING) 811 00:49:26,664 --> 00:49:28,133 This is hard. 812 00:49:29,267 --> 00:49:31,436 Just one more question. 813 00:49:31,469 --> 00:49:33,504 In addition to being a major star in this film, 814 00:49:33,538 --> 00:49:37,142 would you be willing to run errands? 815 00:49:37,175 --> 00:49:40,478 I've been hoping to get a career running errands. 816 00:49:40,511 --> 00:49:42,447 That would be a major boost. 817 00:49:47,552 --> 00:49:49,420 What was your name? 818 00:49:49,454 --> 00:49:51,322 Jeffernson. Jeffernson? 819 00:49:51,356 --> 00:49:53,258 But my friends call me Jiff. 820 00:49:53,291 --> 00:49:56,094 Jiff, welcome aboard. 821 00:49:56,127 --> 00:49:57,528 Here's your wardrobe. 822 00:49:59,197 --> 00:50:01,099 All right! 823 00:50:01,132 --> 00:50:03,168 All right! Awesome! 824 00:50:03,734 --> 00:50:04,769 Awesome. 825 00:50:05,303 --> 00:50:06,437 All right. 826 00:50:14,712 --> 00:50:16,314 How do you feel? 827 00:50:16,347 --> 00:50:17,548 Kind of strange. 828 00:50:17,582 --> 00:50:18,716 You look good. 829 00:50:18,749 --> 00:50:20,385 Tough. I do? 830 00:50:20,418 --> 00:50:22,287 Yeah, like an action star. 831 00:50:23,788 --> 00:50:25,390 Shoulders out. 832 00:50:25,423 --> 00:50:26,657 Take a good, deep breath. 833 00:50:26,691 --> 00:50:27,792 Suck it in. That's good. 834 00:50:27,825 --> 00:50:29,760 Now, look. 835 00:50:29,794 --> 00:50:32,263 In this scene, you're hurting inside. 836 00:50:32,297 --> 00:50:33,564 You're not sure who to trust. 837 00:50:33,598 --> 00:50:36,601 You want to run to your beloved. 838 00:50:37,768 --> 00:50:39,104 Hi, I'm Daisy. 839 00:50:39,137 --> 00:50:40,738 Hi. How are you? 840 00:50:40,771 --> 00:50:44,242 So when I yell "action," you run from point A, there 841 00:50:46,111 --> 00:50:49,614 to point B, over here. 842 00:50:49,647 --> 00:50:51,382 That seems kind of hard. 843 00:50:51,416 --> 00:50:54,419 Think of it as an errand. 844 00:50:54,452 --> 00:50:57,322 Your errand is to run across the freeway. 845 00:50:59,290 --> 00:51:00,425 I get it. 846 00:51:00,458 --> 00:51:02,793 But isn't that a little dangerous? 847 00:51:02,827 --> 00:51:04,295 No. 848 00:51:04,329 --> 00:51:06,097 We have stuntmen doing the driving. 849 00:51:06,131 --> 00:51:07,632 You'll be completely safe. 850 00:51:07,665 --> 00:51:09,467 Oh, stuntmen. 851 00:51:09,500 --> 00:51:10,868 That's how they do it. 852 00:51:10,901 --> 00:51:12,303 I wondered how they did that. 853 00:51:12,337 --> 00:51:13,638 Stunt drivers. 854 00:51:13,671 --> 00:51:16,141 Ready to do one? 855 00:51:16,174 --> 00:51:18,609 Yeah. They're going really fast. 856 00:51:20,411 --> 00:51:21,612 Yeesh. 857 00:51:30,221 --> 00:51:31,656 BOWFINGER: Action! 858 00:51:34,525 --> 00:51:36,727 Come on, Jiff! 859 00:51:36,761 --> 00:51:38,596 Action! 860 00:51:41,832 --> 00:51:43,601 Action! 861 00:51:48,173 --> 00:51:49,640 Action! 862 00:52:00,885 --> 00:52:02,320 Action! 863 00:52:31,682 --> 00:52:32,750 Cut! 864 00:52:36,921 --> 00:52:39,457 Heavenly Father! Heavenly Father! 865 00:52:39,490 --> 00:52:41,726 That was great! You were great! 866 00:52:41,759 --> 00:52:43,361 Wasn't he great? 867 00:52:43,394 --> 00:52:45,530 Congratulations! That was so good! 868 00:52:45,563 --> 00:52:46,897 I don't want to do this anymore! 869 00:52:46,931 --> 00:52:48,633 What? 870 00:52:48,666 --> 00:52:51,369 I just want to run errands. Heavenly God! 871 00:52:51,402 --> 00:52:53,771 Not many people can do what you just did. 872 00:52:53,804 --> 00:52:55,740 The stunt drivers were very impressed. 873 00:52:55,773 --> 00:52:56,974 Weren't they? 874 00:52:57,007 --> 00:52:58,476 Really? 875 00:52:58,509 --> 00:53:00,311 Okay, we got an errand for you to do. 876 00:53:00,345 --> 00:53:01,412 Really? 877 00:53:01,446 --> 00:53:02,747 Go to Starbucks. 878 00:53:02,780 --> 00:53:04,549 I can do that. Get coffee for everyone. 879 00:53:04,582 --> 00:53:07,252 I would love to get coffee. 880 00:53:07,285 --> 00:53:08,619 Only you can do it. 881 00:53:08,653 --> 00:53:11,389 I want to get the coffee now. 882 00:53:11,422 --> 00:53:14,225 But first, let's do this once more. 883 00:53:14,259 --> 00:53:16,727 Heavenly God! Heavenly God! 884 00:53:18,629 --> 00:53:20,498 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 885 00:53:20,531 --> 00:53:22,700 Good work. 886 00:53:23,834 --> 00:53:26,771 Can I talk to you about the new scenes? 887 00:53:26,804 --> 00:53:28,473 I haven't decided about them. 888 00:53:28,506 --> 00:53:29,440 Can we talk about them? 889 00:53:29,474 --> 00:53:30,541 Okay. 890 00:53:30,575 --> 00:53:31,776 I mean, tonight? 891 00:53:32,577 --> 00:53:35,646 Oh, oh. Okay. 892 00:53:51,396 --> 00:53:52,763 (DOORBELL RINGING) 893 00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:24,729 I'll be right there! 894 00:54:39,777 --> 00:54:40,778 (YELPS) 895 00:54:59,864 --> 00:55:00,898 I'm so tired of going out. 896 00:55:00,931 --> 00:55:02,833 I thought we'd eat here. 897 00:55:02,867 --> 00:55:04,502 I know the maitre d' at the Ivy. 898 00:55:04,535 --> 00:55:06,371 That's so trendy. 899 00:55:06,404 --> 00:55:07,705 Do you like Vienna sausages? 900 00:55:07,738 --> 00:55:09,474 Yeah. 901 00:55:09,507 --> 00:55:11,342 Do you smell burning hair? 902 00:55:15,913 --> 00:55:17,047 Good wine. 903 00:55:17,081 --> 00:55:19,884 You can drink and drink and not get drunk. 904 00:55:19,917 --> 00:55:21,318 (EXCLAIMS) 905 00:55:24,121 --> 00:55:25,923 What are some of your favorite shows? 906 00:55:25,956 --> 00:55:27,725 I love The Flintstones. Me, too! 907 00:55:27,758 --> 00:55:30,395 It's so good. Okay. 908 00:55:30,428 --> 00:55:31,696 Do you like walks in the park? 909 00:55:31,729 --> 00:55:32,597 In the rain! 910 00:55:32,630 --> 00:55:35,566 I want you to see The Music Man. 911 00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:36,967 I've seen it! I love it! 912 00:55:37,001 --> 00:55:38,603 Isn't Robert Preston good? 913 00:55:38,636 --> 00:55:40,638 Yes! Do you love Smashing Pumpkins? 914 00:55:40,671 --> 00:55:42,607 I love to do that! 915 00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:44,775 Do you like shiatsu massage? 916 00:55:47,044 --> 00:55:49,580 (DAISY MOANING) 917 00:55:52,417 --> 00:55:53,384 I love you so much! 918 00:55:53,418 --> 00:55:54,719 I love you. 919 00:55:54,752 --> 00:55:55,953 I'm so alive! 920 00:55:55,986 --> 00:55:58,055 I've never been alive until now. 921 00:55:58,088 --> 00:55:59,657 Never till now. 922 00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:04,729 I worry about our age difference. 923 00:56:04,762 --> 00:56:06,997 Age is just a state of mind. 924 00:56:07,031 --> 00:56:08,666 That's right. 925 00:56:08,699 --> 00:56:10,868 Who cares if you're 70 when I hit my sexual peak? 926 00:56:10,901 --> 00:56:13,471 It's Bogie and Bacall. 927 00:56:13,504 --> 00:56:14,572 Who? 928 00:56:16,507 --> 00:56:20,645 I promise to never play mind games with your head. 929 00:56:20,678 --> 00:56:23,147 You are so today. 930 00:56:23,180 --> 00:56:25,149 I want to make love to you! I do, too! 931 00:56:25,182 --> 00:56:27,818 I want you so much! 932 00:56:28,686 --> 00:56:30,755 But I worry. 933 00:56:30,788 --> 00:56:32,122 Our love is bigger than worry. 934 00:56:32,156 --> 00:56:33,991 I worry about the scenes. Scenes? 935 00:56:34,024 --> 00:56:36,160 If we're filming the new scenes. 936 00:56:36,193 --> 00:56:38,929 It's hard to give yourself to a man 937 00:56:38,963 --> 00:56:41,866 because it's the woman who's entered, who's violated. 938 00:56:41,899 --> 00:56:43,634 I so understand that. 939 00:56:43,668 --> 00:56:46,136 The man inside you is part of you. 940 00:56:46,170 --> 00:56:49,840 He would not prevent your added scenes from being shot. 941 00:56:49,874 --> 00:56:51,742 We're doing the scenes. 942 00:56:51,776 --> 00:56:53,043 We're doing them because I love you 943 00:56:53,077 --> 00:56:55,813 and you're brilliant and this is your movie. 944 00:56:56,947 --> 00:56:58,716 Let me go get ready. 945 00:57:17,234 --> 00:57:18,435 (INAUDIBLE) 946 00:57:30,781 --> 00:57:33,050 I will never use you. 947 00:57:33,083 --> 00:57:35,119 I will never abuse your trust. 948 00:57:40,758 --> 00:57:42,226 Thank you, Daisy. 949 00:57:42,259 --> 00:57:43,961 Not at all. 950 00:58:00,711 --> 00:58:02,747 Are we almost ready, people? 951 00:58:02,780 --> 00:58:04,682 Dave, do you see the fireplace? 952 00:58:04,715 --> 00:58:05,950 Uh-huh. 953 00:58:05,983 --> 00:58:07,652 Then we should light the fireplace. 954 00:58:07,685 --> 00:58:10,054 Is this a good mark? 955 00:58:12,256 --> 00:58:13,524 Sorry. 956 00:58:13,558 --> 00:58:16,627 Daisy, my sweetness. 957 00:58:16,661 --> 00:58:18,495 Hi. How are you? 958 00:58:19,564 --> 00:58:20,798 Hi. 959 00:58:20,831 --> 00:58:23,834 Do you want to relax first or shoot? 960 00:58:23,868 --> 00:58:25,069 Shoot. 961 00:58:25,102 --> 00:58:26,270 You have such a good work ethic. 962 00:58:26,303 --> 00:58:27,805 I so admire that. 963 00:58:27,838 --> 00:58:29,574 Here's your mark. Is it too small? 964 00:58:29,607 --> 00:58:31,576 Are you okay? 965 00:58:31,609 --> 00:58:34,111 Okay, this is an important scene. 966 00:58:34,144 --> 00:58:39,249 This is one of the hot scenes that is about heat and... 967 00:58:39,283 --> 00:58:40,618 Chemistry. 968 00:58:41,018 --> 00:58:43,020 Chemistry. 969 00:58:43,053 --> 00:58:45,055 So this is the artistic part of the film. 970 00:58:45,089 --> 00:58:46,991 That's right, so just give her room. 971 00:58:47,024 --> 00:58:49,226 And be sensitive 972 00:58:49,259 --> 00:58:52,262 because in this scene, Daisy takes off her blouse. 973 00:58:54,832 --> 00:58:57,968 Okay, here's your mark. 974 00:58:58,002 --> 00:59:00,671 Now, you're not sure if you love Keith, 975 00:59:00,705 --> 00:59:02,973 but you offer yourself to save Earth. 976 00:59:03,007 --> 00:59:04,609 Jiff, right here. 977 00:59:04,642 --> 00:59:05,843 Start here. 978 00:59:06,611 --> 00:59:07,845 And up. 979 00:59:07,878 --> 00:59:09,546 And roll sound. 980 00:59:11,348 --> 00:59:12,316 Speed. 981 00:59:13,651 --> 00:59:15,653 Mark. 982 00:59:15,686 --> 00:59:18,756 You're not sure if you love him, but you want to save Earth. 983 00:59:18,789 --> 00:59:20,257 Action. 984 00:59:20,290 --> 00:59:23,260 Keith, I don't know what's right anymore. 985 00:59:23,293 --> 00:59:26,897 I just know I have feelings that make me need you, 986 00:59:26,931 --> 00:59:28,198 need you now. 987 00:59:41,111 --> 00:59:42,146 Awesome! 988 00:59:45,783 --> 00:59:47,117 You're doing great. 989 00:59:50,154 --> 00:59:52,189 You're going to be a star. 990 00:59:52,723 --> 00:59:53,958 And cut. 991 01:00:03,834 --> 01:00:05,135 How's this, boss? 992 01:00:21,218 --> 01:00:23,988 What's going on with him? 993 01:00:24,021 --> 01:00:27,424 The alien arrival scene is next and Kit hasn't called in. 994 01:00:27,457 --> 01:00:29,927 Someone must know where he is. 995 01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:32,763 I know where Kit's going to be this afternoon. 996 01:00:36,100 --> 01:00:37,401 You do? 997 01:00:37,434 --> 01:00:41,005 At 4:00, he'll be at Max clothing store for a photo. 998 01:00:48,412 --> 01:00:51,849 Every day I get an offer on this thing. 999 01:00:51,882 --> 01:00:53,017 It's a beauty. 1000 01:00:53,050 --> 01:00:55,019 Not a scratch. 1001 01:00:55,052 --> 01:00:56,420 I sold three cars for it. 1002 01:00:56,453 --> 01:00:58,756 You have a great eye for cars. 1003 01:00:58,789 --> 01:01:00,925 My wife tried to get it in the divorce. 1004 01:01:00,958 --> 01:01:02,092 That would have hurt. 1005 01:01:02,126 --> 01:01:03,260 Who got the kids? 1006 01:01:03,293 --> 01:01:04,661 She did. 1007 01:01:25,082 --> 01:01:27,051 BOWFINGER: Wait here a minute. 1008 01:01:39,363 --> 01:01:40,497 Is the manager in? 1009 01:01:40,530 --> 01:01:41,732 No, he's home today. 1010 01:01:41,766 --> 01:01:43,000 How odd. 1011 01:01:43,033 --> 01:01:44,835 We have a permit to shoot here today. 1012 01:01:44,869 --> 01:01:48,172 Well, we'll start loading in equipment. 1013 01:01:48,205 --> 01:01:49,273 Shall I call him? 1014 01:01:49,306 --> 01:01:51,742 No, I'll call from the cell phone. 1015 01:01:59,283 --> 01:02:01,819 The guy vacuuming is from the studio. 1016 01:02:01,852 --> 01:02:03,153 (SIREN BLARING) 1017 01:02:11,128 --> 01:02:12,429 Who's in charge here? 1018 01:02:12,462 --> 01:02:14,331 I am. 1019 01:02:14,364 --> 01:02:16,133 You have a permit to film here? 1020 01:02:16,166 --> 01:02:17,835 Yeah. 1021 01:02:17,868 --> 01:02:19,136 May I see it? 1022 01:02:20,938 --> 01:02:23,140 Can I talk to you? 1023 01:02:23,173 --> 01:02:25,142 You ever thought about acting? 1024 01:02:47,597 --> 01:02:48,866 This is it. 1025 01:02:48,899 --> 01:02:49,967 Roll it. 1026 01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:51,101 Mark. 1027 01:02:55,873 --> 01:02:58,142 And action. 1028 01:03:10,520 --> 01:03:13,290 That time away really helped calm my ass. 1029 01:03:13,323 --> 01:03:16,260 I thought I was cracking up. 1030 01:03:16,293 --> 01:03:18,963 You ever think there are no conspiracies? 1031 01:03:18,996 --> 01:03:20,264 Maybe there are no aliens? 1032 01:03:20,297 --> 01:03:22,299 Everything's as it seems? 1033 01:03:22,332 --> 01:03:27,838 I tell you, being alone in a chamber was really helpful. 1034 01:03:27,872 --> 01:03:29,239 So helpful... 1035 01:03:29,273 --> 01:03:32,309 Freddy, where, Freddy? 1036 01:03:32,342 --> 01:03:33,610 Hey, you! 1037 01:03:33,643 --> 01:03:36,413 Kincaid. 1038 01:03:36,446 --> 01:03:38,482 Freddy. Freddy! 1039 01:03:38,515 --> 01:03:40,217 You heard me, Kincaid. 1040 01:03:40,250 --> 01:03:41,585 Freddy, stop playing! 1041 01:03:41,618 --> 01:03:43,253 Nice try, Kincaid. 1042 01:03:43,287 --> 01:03:45,255 Freddy. Don't act dumb. 1043 01:03:45,289 --> 01:03:47,157 Where's the plutonium? 1044 01:03:47,958 --> 01:03:49,459 That plutonium's mine. 1045 01:03:49,493 --> 01:03:52,262 It's registered to use for religious purposes. 1046 01:03:52,296 --> 01:03:54,331 You actually have plutonium? 1047 01:03:54,364 --> 01:03:55,599 He's got plutonium? 1048 01:03:55,632 --> 01:03:57,434 Freddy! 1049 01:03:57,467 --> 01:04:00,905 Freddy's having his guts replaced with alien hardware. 1050 01:04:00,938 --> 01:04:02,006 Alien? 1051 01:04:02,039 --> 01:04:03,307 Oh, my God, Keith! 1052 01:04:03,340 --> 01:04:04,909 They told me you were dead! 1053 01:04:04,942 --> 01:04:06,543 And now you are dead. 1054 01:04:06,576 --> 01:04:07,611 Hey! 1055 01:04:07,644 --> 01:04:08,845 (SCREAMS) 1056 01:04:12,416 --> 01:04:14,251 When you kill a pod person, 1057 01:04:14,284 --> 01:04:16,053 another one takes his place! 1058 01:04:16,086 --> 01:04:18,055 I won't go in your spaceship! 1059 01:04:18,088 --> 01:04:19,924 Keith, I love you! 1060 01:04:19,957 --> 01:04:21,992 Get away from me! 1061 01:04:22,026 --> 01:04:23,093 (CAR ALARM SOUNDING) 1062 01:04:23,127 --> 01:04:24,929 Keith, I love you! 1063 01:04:24,962 --> 01:04:26,897 Stay with him! 1064 01:04:31,168 --> 01:04:34,972 Hi. I came down to see them shoot you today. 1065 01:04:35,005 --> 01:04:36,273 Shoot me today? 1066 01:04:36,306 --> 01:04:38,008 My darling! 1067 01:04:38,042 --> 01:04:40,344 Please, Keith, let me love you! 1068 01:04:40,377 --> 01:04:42,546 DAISY: My darling! Come with me! 1069 01:04:49,219 --> 01:04:50,620 Stay with him. 1070 01:04:57,594 --> 01:04:59,429 DAISY: Oh, Keith! 1071 01:05:00,197 --> 01:05:02,132 He's coming in here! 1072 01:05:06,703 --> 01:05:09,173 Cut! 1073 01:05:09,206 --> 01:05:12,977 Lyle, you may have an Emmy, but I don't care. 1074 01:05:13,010 --> 01:05:16,213 I need to see the moment you realize he loves you. 1075 01:05:16,246 --> 01:05:19,083 He's embroidering for you. Doesn't that affect you? 1076 01:05:19,716 --> 01:05:21,952 Kit Ramsey! 1077 01:05:21,986 --> 01:05:23,220 Over here! The car's running! 1078 01:05:23,253 --> 01:05:24,955 Freddy! Show me your guts! 1079 01:05:24,989 --> 01:05:26,090 What you talking about? 1080 01:05:26,123 --> 01:05:27,624 Show me your guts, now! 1081 01:05:29,726 --> 01:05:31,228 Pod people are everywhere! 1082 01:05:31,261 --> 01:05:32,696 Pod people! 1083 01:05:32,729 --> 01:05:34,264 Pod! 1084 01:05:34,298 --> 01:05:37,201 Come on! Do scene 35! 1085 01:05:38,068 --> 01:05:39,036 DAISY: Keith! 1086 01:05:39,069 --> 01:05:40,404 Keith! 1087 01:05:40,437 --> 01:05:41,738 Who the hell is Keith? 1088 01:05:41,771 --> 01:05:43,507 Open the door! 1089 01:05:50,747 --> 01:05:52,116 Go, Freddy! 1090 01:05:52,749 --> 01:05:54,018 Keith! 1091 01:05:54,051 --> 01:05:55,485 And cut! 1092 01:05:59,423 --> 01:06:03,060 I must say, I am becoming more and more impressed 1093 01:06:03,093 --> 01:06:04,761 with Mr. Ramsey's acting. 1094 01:06:04,794 --> 01:06:06,430 I'm learning a lot from him. 1095 01:06:06,463 --> 01:06:08,665 I feel like I haven't done much. 1096 01:06:08,698 --> 01:06:11,735 You look like Kit Ramsey. That's talent. 1097 01:06:11,768 --> 01:06:14,304 Lots of people can't do that. 1098 01:06:14,338 --> 01:06:16,340 Robert De Niro can't look like Kit Ramsey. 1099 01:06:16,373 --> 01:06:18,308 He annoys me anyway. 1100 01:06:18,342 --> 01:06:21,078 It's just, if I go to the store to get coffee 1101 01:06:21,111 --> 01:06:23,213 I know I'm the one getting the coffee. 1102 01:06:23,247 --> 01:06:27,417 I got the coffee. 1103 01:06:27,451 --> 01:06:29,453 I made sure the napkin was in the bag. 1104 01:06:29,486 --> 01:06:31,721 I made sure there was cream and sugar. 1105 01:06:32,322 --> 01:06:33,523 I did it. 1106 01:06:33,557 --> 01:06:35,659 Me. You know? 1107 01:06:35,692 --> 01:06:37,327 It's weird 1108 01:06:37,361 --> 01:06:40,230 to get credit for looking like someone. 1109 01:06:40,264 --> 01:06:41,431 What is that? 1110 01:06:41,465 --> 01:06:43,333 It's a gift. 1111 01:06:43,367 --> 01:06:44,601 I don't know how much a gift it is. 1112 01:06:44,634 --> 01:06:46,370 I mean, I am his brother. 1113 01:06:50,140 --> 01:06:52,709 That's what's great about working with you guys. 1114 01:06:52,742 --> 01:06:56,280 Usually when someone learns I'm related to Kit Ramsey 1115 01:06:56,313 --> 01:06:57,714 they want to meet him. 1116 01:06:57,747 --> 01:07:00,150 I can understand that, 1117 01:07:00,184 --> 01:07:04,254 but it feels good now and then to have someone like you for you. 1118 01:07:04,288 --> 01:07:06,456 It's great. I feel great. 1119 01:07:07,824 --> 01:07:10,394 Uh-huh. 1120 01:07:10,427 --> 01:07:12,129 You get along with your brother? 1121 01:07:12,162 --> 01:07:15,365 Yeah. We haven't seen him in a while, he's been so busy. 1122 01:07:15,399 --> 01:07:17,767 He's cranking them out. 1123 01:07:17,801 --> 01:07:20,470 He didn't even come home last Christmas. 1124 01:07:21,171 --> 01:07:23,073 I'm sorry. 1125 01:07:23,107 --> 01:07:24,641 That's okay. 1126 01:07:24,674 --> 01:07:27,411 I'm here with this fantastic group of people 1127 01:07:27,444 --> 01:07:29,346 who accept me for who I am, 1128 01:07:29,379 --> 01:07:32,349 the poor, stupid brother of a guy everyone loves. 1129 01:07:40,490 --> 01:07:42,526 DAISY: Are you from a show business family? 1130 01:07:42,559 --> 01:07:43,793 BOWFINGER: We're screwed. 1131 01:07:43,827 --> 01:07:47,697 We luck into the brother of the world's hottest movie star 1132 01:07:47,731 --> 01:07:49,333 and I get a conscience. 1133 01:07:49,366 --> 01:07:50,634 Don't be so upset. 1134 01:07:50,667 --> 01:07:52,502 Did you hear him? He's an innocent. 1135 01:07:52,536 --> 01:07:54,571 He told us he loved us. 1136 01:07:55,205 --> 01:07:56,740 I just can't do it. 1137 01:07:57,841 --> 01:07:59,409 I have to return the camera. 1138 01:07:59,443 --> 01:08:01,178 You'll work it out. 1139 01:08:02,246 --> 01:08:03,547 I can't do it. 1140 01:08:04,414 --> 01:08:06,150 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 1141 01:08:06,183 --> 01:08:06,783 Citizen Kane. 1142 01:08:09,619 --> 01:08:11,521 Apocalypse Now. 1143 01:08:11,555 --> 01:08:14,524 Godfather, Dr. Strangelove. 1144 01:08:14,558 --> 01:08:16,260 Stanley Kubrick. 1145 01:08:16,293 --> 01:08:17,527 A Clockwork Orange. 1146 01:08:17,561 --> 01:08:19,396 JIFF: Mr. Bowfinger. 1147 01:08:19,429 --> 01:08:22,599 Mr. Bowfinger, I have something to tell you. 1148 01:08:22,632 --> 01:08:23,500 I have something to tell you. 1149 01:08:23,533 --> 01:08:25,569 Can I tell mine first? 1150 01:08:26,503 --> 01:08:29,306 Okay, what? 1151 01:08:29,339 --> 01:08:30,840 Being Kit Ramsey's brother 1152 01:08:30,874 --> 01:08:34,344 sometimes has fringe benefits. 1153 01:08:34,378 --> 01:08:35,579 How do you mean? 1154 01:08:37,681 --> 01:08:42,186 You'll never guess who I had intercourse with in the van. 1155 01:08:50,194 --> 01:08:51,595 Isn't that cool? 1156 01:08:53,897 --> 01:08:55,465 She gave me the works. 1157 01:08:55,499 --> 01:08:57,601 She is the most inventive girl. 1158 01:08:57,634 --> 01:08:59,403 Come into my office. Sure. 1159 01:08:59,436 --> 01:09:00,737 She is so strong, Mr. Bowfinger. 1160 01:09:00,770 --> 01:09:02,872 She's pure power and speed. 1161 01:09:02,906 --> 01:09:04,708 Real hot. 1162 01:09:04,741 --> 01:09:06,443 Okay, listen. 1163 01:09:06,476 --> 01:09:08,278 I have an errand for you. 1164 01:09:08,912 --> 01:09:09,946 Go to Starbucks. 1165 01:09:09,979 --> 01:09:11,348 I'm with you. 1166 01:09:11,381 --> 01:09:13,617 Go to Starbucks and get some coffee. 1167 01:09:13,650 --> 01:09:15,452 Bring it back here. Here. 1168 01:09:15,485 --> 01:09:16,886 With enough napkins for everyone. 1169 01:09:16,920 --> 01:09:18,054 Got it. 1170 01:09:18,087 --> 01:09:20,290 Call your brother, find out where he's going today. 1171 01:09:20,324 --> 01:09:21,858 Find out where Kit's going. 1172 01:09:21,891 --> 01:09:23,227 Find out when he's leaving and where he's going. 1173 01:09:23,260 --> 01:09:25,929 Go to a store, buy some pencils. 1174 01:09:25,962 --> 01:09:27,231 Buy pencils. 1175 01:09:27,264 --> 01:09:28,398 Be sure they're sharp! 1176 01:09:28,432 --> 01:09:29,333 Sharp pencils! You got it? 1177 01:09:29,366 --> 01:09:30,967 Yeah! 1178 01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:35,472 Coffee, napkins, pencils, find out where my brother's going. 1179 01:09:35,505 --> 01:09:36,573 Ride like the wind! 1180 01:09:36,606 --> 01:09:37,674 I'm gone! 1181 01:09:37,707 --> 01:09:39,709 I'm gone! 1182 01:09:39,743 --> 01:09:41,411 I want to see you. 1183 01:09:47,684 --> 01:09:49,519 We are finished. 1184 01:09:49,553 --> 01:09:50,954 Why? You had sex with Jiff. 1185 01:09:50,987 --> 01:09:52,722 So? 1186 01:09:52,756 --> 01:09:54,224 I never thought of it like that. 1187 01:09:54,258 --> 01:09:55,892 See you tonight at 8:00? Okay. 1188 01:10:40,370 --> 01:10:42,606 There's someone here to talk to you. 1189 01:10:42,639 --> 01:10:44,741 He says it concerns Kit Ramsey. 1190 01:10:53,817 --> 01:10:55,585 MAN: This is Bob, a level six. 1191 01:10:55,619 --> 01:10:57,621 He's been with us four years. 1192 01:10:57,654 --> 01:10:59,656 He has something to tell you. 1193 01:11:04,361 --> 01:11:06,796 DAVE: I'm taking her out for a wash, Jack. 1194 01:11:23,480 --> 01:11:27,016 We still need the big ending or we don't have a movie. 1195 01:11:27,050 --> 01:11:29,353 I know what else we don't have. 1196 01:11:29,953 --> 01:11:30,754 What? 1197 01:11:31,488 --> 01:11:32,856 Permission. 1198 01:11:35,359 --> 01:11:38,362 Tom Cruise didn't know he was in that vampire movie 1199 01:11:38,395 --> 01:11:39,829 till two years later. 1200 01:11:39,863 --> 01:11:40,964 (PHONE RINGING) 1201 01:11:40,997 --> 01:11:41,998 Hello. 1202 01:11:42,999 --> 01:11:44,067 Hi, Jiff. 1203 01:11:47,837 --> 01:11:49,639 He's going to Mind Head at 4:45. 1204 01:11:49,673 --> 01:11:50,940 Great work, Jiff! 1205 01:11:50,974 --> 01:11:52,676 Now we really need those pencils, buddy! 1206 01:11:52,709 --> 01:11:53,810 Okay! 1207 01:11:55,779 --> 01:11:57,947 See you at the location. 1208 01:11:57,981 --> 01:12:00,717 We are about to shoot the final scene of the movie. 1209 01:12:00,750 --> 01:12:02,786 I just talked to Kit, he's very excited. 1210 01:12:02,819 --> 01:12:05,455 So, know your jobs! Let's go! 1211 01:12:05,489 --> 01:12:07,824 We have one hour to get there. 1212 01:12:07,857 --> 01:12:10,694 Make sure Slater finished painting the car! 1213 01:12:10,727 --> 01:12:13,797 Daisy, let's talk about the scene. 1214 01:12:13,830 --> 01:12:16,866 Okay, this is a hard scene for Kit. 1215 01:12:16,900 --> 01:12:19,002 He may not want to get in the car with you. 1216 01:12:19,035 --> 01:12:22,506 In fact, he'll really resist because of his character. 1217 01:12:22,539 --> 01:12:24,741 So you must be persuasive, because... 1218 01:12:24,774 --> 01:12:26,810 He doesn't know he's in the movie. 1219 01:12:28,645 --> 01:12:30,046 I know what's going on. 1220 01:12:30,079 --> 01:12:33,383 I may be from Ohio, but I'm not from Ohio. 1221 01:12:35,151 --> 01:12:36,453 I'm not mad. 1222 01:12:36,486 --> 01:12:38,354 I'm working, aren't I? 1223 01:12:38,688 --> 01:12:40,424 But 1224 01:12:41,057 --> 01:12:42,692 who told you? 1225 01:12:42,726 --> 01:12:44,694 We're packed and loaded. 1226 01:12:44,728 --> 01:12:46,095 Hi, honey. 1227 01:12:46,129 --> 01:12:49,633 Sweetie, will you put my makeup case in the van? 1228 01:12:55,004 --> 01:12:56,506 Let's hit it. 1229 01:13:56,766 --> 01:13:59,035 Anyone want a Frostee Freeze? 1230 01:13:59,068 --> 01:14:00,770 Do I look like I want a damn Frostee Freeze? 1231 01:14:10,580 --> 01:14:11,948 Holy shit! 1232 01:14:14,784 --> 01:14:17,854 Reverse, reverse! 1233 01:14:17,887 --> 01:14:20,223 Hold on, hold on! 1234 01:14:21,290 --> 01:14:23,993 Man, what the hell... 1235 01:14:29,533 --> 01:14:31,234 It's the dead guy! 1236 01:14:44,313 --> 01:14:47,216 Oh, please. Please don't let me die. 1237 01:14:56,092 --> 01:14:57,861 This is awesome! 1238 01:15:21,685 --> 01:15:22,786 It's going down! 1239 01:15:22,819 --> 01:15:25,321 It's going down now! 1240 01:15:25,354 --> 01:15:26,656 Okay! 1241 01:15:26,690 --> 01:15:28,091 Hey, I'm Kit Ramsey! 1242 01:15:28,124 --> 01:15:29,893 That's Kit Ramsey! 1243 01:15:29,926 --> 01:15:32,228 You know who I am, right? 1244 01:15:32,261 --> 01:15:34,631 Please, one at a time. I can't hear you. 1245 01:15:34,664 --> 01:15:36,733 I'm 13 on Premiere's power list! 1246 01:15:36,766 --> 01:15:38,334 What are you doing? 1247 01:15:38,367 --> 01:15:42,238 Tough guys like you don't get far in this world, mister. 1248 01:15:42,271 --> 01:15:44,340 We were pursued by alien forces! 1249 01:15:44,373 --> 01:15:45,942 Oh, aliens. 1250 01:15:49,846 --> 01:15:51,114 (GASPING) 1251 01:15:55,151 --> 01:15:56,753 (SCREAMING) 1252 01:16:07,697 --> 01:16:10,033 I knew I shouldn't have slept with 1253 01:16:10,066 --> 01:16:13,102 the alien life form from the star system Neon! 1254 01:16:21,645 --> 01:16:22,812 Oh, shit! 1255 01:16:26,983 --> 01:16:30,720 AFRIM: My gonads! My gonads! 1256 01:16:30,754 --> 01:16:31,921 Keith! 1257 01:16:31,955 --> 01:16:33,322 There's only one way out of this! 1258 01:16:33,356 --> 01:16:35,759 Follow me! 1259 01:16:36,760 --> 01:16:39,095 DAISY: Kiss you? Now? 1260 01:16:39,128 --> 01:16:41,931 Keith, danger really turns you on! 1261 01:16:44,033 --> 01:16:46,169 Get in the car. 1262 01:16:46,202 --> 01:16:48,938 We must get to the alien antenna before the summer solstice! 1263 01:16:48,972 --> 01:16:50,306 You best hurry! 1264 01:16:51,074 --> 01:16:52,208 I'm Keith. 1265 01:17:26,710 --> 01:17:28,845 That way, Carol! This way! 1266 01:17:34,483 --> 01:17:35,819 Hi, Bill. We're here! 1267 01:17:35,852 --> 01:17:38,387 Put the tripod there! 1268 01:17:38,421 --> 01:17:40,990 DAISY: We must eat! How will we know if we are starving? 1269 01:17:41,024 --> 01:17:44,828 I needed love, but the alien embryos had already... 1270 01:17:44,861 --> 01:17:46,796 They're coming up the drive! 1271 01:17:49,365 --> 01:17:50,734 Action! 1272 01:17:52,268 --> 01:17:53,302 Get out! 1273 01:17:55,872 --> 01:17:57,874 There's the alien antenna. 1274 01:17:57,907 --> 01:18:00,109 You must go there to yell "Gotcha, suckas!" 1275 01:18:00,143 --> 01:18:03,713 If you don't, we will all become pod people! 1276 01:18:03,747 --> 01:18:05,949 Cut! Move the camera! 1277 01:18:05,982 --> 01:18:10,787 DAISY: They will impregnate everyone, including the CIA and the FBI! 1278 01:18:10,820 --> 01:18:13,322 Once you're set, roll on the stairwell. 1279 01:18:14,457 --> 01:18:15,859 DAISY: In here. 1280 01:18:21,397 --> 01:18:24,801 They're all aliens worshipping their false gods. 1281 01:18:28,905 --> 01:18:30,106 Come on! No! 1282 01:18:30,139 --> 01:18:31,808 Come on! No! 1283 01:18:31,841 --> 01:18:33,209 DAISY: Keith, keep running! 1284 01:18:33,977 --> 01:18:35,278 I've got them. 1285 01:18:37,346 --> 01:18:38,882 Oh, shit! Oh, shit! 1286 01:18:38,915 --> 01:18:40,984 Cut to the stairwell. 1287 01:18:41,017 --> 01:18:44,220 DAISY: It was you I loved. 1288 01:18:44,253 --> 01:18:46,222 And I thought about you and your plutonium. 1289 01:18:46,255 --> 01:18:47,256 Next shot on the roof. 1290 01:18:49,125 --> 01:18:51,260 Bastard! Bastard! 1291 01:18:51,294 --> 01:18:52,495 No, I'm Keith! 1292 01:18:52,528 --> 01:18:54,730 Bastard! 1293 01:18:58,167 --> 01:19:00,536 KIT: Stop that! Stop that! 1294 01:19:00,569 --> 01:19:04,073 Stop! 1295 01:19:07,476 --> 01:19:09,345 (SCREAMING) 1296 01:19:13,116 --> 01:19:14,283 Shit! 1297 01:19:16,185 --> 01:19:17,921 She was from the planet Neon! 1298 01:19:17,954 --> 01:19:20,089 Don't bring that shit over here! 1299 01:19:20,123 --> 01:19:22,091 Put that down! 1300 01:19:22,125 --> 01:19:24,193 Cut! Okay, outside! 1301 01:19:30,099 --> 01:19:31,200 DAISY: We must run, Keith! 1302 01:19:31,234 --> 01:19:34,137 We have only 40 seconds! 1303 01:19:41,244 --> 01:19:44,380 Okay, we only need one shot. 1304 01:19:53,089 --> 01:19:57,026 Only one thing can stop them now, if you say, "Gotcha, suckas!" 1305 01:19:57,060 --> 01:19:58,061 What? 1306 01:19:58,895 --> 01:19:59,595 Put your hands right here. 1307 01:19:59,628 --> 01:20:00,897 What? 1308 01:20:00,930 --> 01:20:01,998 Go! 1309 01:20:02,031 --> 01:20:03,833 Cue the pyrotechnics! 1310 01:20:06,002 --> 01:20:07,937 Shit! Oh, my God! 1311 01:20:07,971 --> 01:20:09,238 It's time! 1312 01:20:10,373 --> 01:20:12,341 Look up and say, "Gotcha, suckas!" 1313 01:20:12,375 --> 01:20:14,510 MAN: Kincaid! 1314 01:20:14,543 --> 01:20:16,913 (SCREAMING) 1315 01:20:21,184 --> 01:20:22,886 Gotcha, suckas! 1316 01:20:24,020 --> 01:20:25,421 Come on, say it. 1317 01:20:28,524 --> 01:20:30,493 Come on, say it! 1318 01:21:13,302 --> 01:21:15,038 Well, 1319 01:21:15,071 --> 01:21:17,073 sometimes the paranoid 1320 01:21:17,106 --> 01:21:21,110 are actually being followed. 1321 01:21:21,144 --> 01:21:23,546 This film is for Madagascar and Iran, 1322 01:21:23,579 --> 01:21:26,015 neither of which accept American copyright law. 1323 01:21:26,049 --> 01:21:27,984 KIT: Terry! Hi! 1324 01:21:28,017 --> 01:21:30,019 I'm Keith Kincaid! 1325 01:21:30,053 --> 01:21:31,520 I saved the world! 1326 01:21:33,722 --> 01:21:35,191 I saved it. 1327 01:21:50,339 --> 01:21:53,409 I have eight brothers, four sisters and no job! 1328 01:21:54,177 --> 01:21:55,411 I'm screwed! 1329 01:21:55,444 --> 01:21:58,214 There's no movie. I can't believe this! 1330 01:21:58,247 --> 01:22:00,283 I wasn't looking for work 'cause I thought I was working. 1331 01:22:00,316 --> 01:22:02,986 I showed my breasts on film. For what? 1332 01:22:03,019 --> 01:22:04,320 I'm a felon. 1333 01:22:04,353 --> 01:22:07,090 I have a cousin who's a lawyer. 1334 01:22:07,123 --> 01:22:09,092 I say we take action. 1335 01:22:09,125 --> 01:22:11,194 We sue. Sue! Sue! 1336 01:22:11,227 --> 01:22:13,229 Carol, what do you think? 1337 01:22:16,499 --> 01:22:17,633 I think... 1338 01:22:20,436 --> 01:22:22,538 I think it was a beautiful lie. 1339 01:22:46,429 --> 01:22:48,231 It could have worked. 1340 01:22:55,038 --> 01:22:57,206 What should we do with this? 1341 01:22:57,240 --> 01:22:58,707 What is it? Film. 1342 01:22:58,741 --> 01:23:00,309 I told them to follow Kit around 1343 01:23:00,343 --> 01:23:04,280 and get some random shots. 1344 01:23:04,313 --> 01:23:05,648 The trash is outside. 1345 01:23:05,681 --> 01:23:06,782 I want to see it. 1346 01:23:06,815 --> 01:23:08,517 BOWFINGER: Why? 1347 01:23:08,551 --> 01:23:10,653 We need Kit Ramsey's permission. 1348 01:23:10,686 --> 01:23:13,522 Why didn't someone ever mention that to me? 1349 01:23:15,091 --> 01:23:16,725 KIT: Hold up! Hold up! Hold up! 1350 01:23:18,161 --> 01:23:19,462 Serve! 1351 01:23:22,498 --> 01:23:25,201 Useless, a tennis playing alien fighter. 1352 01:23:31,807 --> 01:23:33,542 Nice work, guys. 1353 01:23:33,576 --> 01:23:35,444 Thanks, Mr. Bowfinger. 1354 01:23:35,478 --> 01:23:38,147 We used a Pro Mist and tried to open up the aperture 1355 01:23:38,181 --> 01:23:40,483 to give him a rim light. 1356 01:23:47,590 --> 01:23:49,225 BOWFINGER: What is he doing? 1357 01:24:01,837 --> 01:24:04,340 I think we just got our permission. 1358 01:24:22,491 --> 01:24:24,127 Hey, Laker Girls. 1359 01:24:26,829 --> 01:24:27,830 (LAUGHING) 1360 01:24:30,799 --> 01:24:32,335 It's not funny! 1361 01:24:45,614 --> 01:24:48,517 There's not a court in this country 1362 01:24:48,551 --> 01:24:50,853 that won't consider this blackmail. 1363 01:24:50,886 --> 01:24:53,622 You know what? 1364 01:24:53,656 --> 01:24:54,990 I don't know about blackmail. 1365 01:24:55,023 --> 01:24:59,562 I'm just a guy with a great film who just needs a shot of Kit saying 1366 01:24:59,595 --> 01:25:02,198 "Gotcha, suckas" and some close ups. 1367 01:25:02,231 --> 01:25:06,369 Or we'll use Kit wagging his thing at the Laker Girls 1368 01:25:06,402 --> 01:25:08,837 which is a great ending. 1369 01:25:08,871 --> 01:25:12,475 Though not a good ending for Kit, because it could sort of 1370 01:25:12,508 --> 01:25:17,613 stop his money flow and make that family film he's about to do just... 1371 01:25:23,719 --> 01:25:26,789 We'll have to think about it. 1372 01:25:26,822 --> 01:25:32,395 I mean, we'll have to think about it for Kit. 1373 01:25:36,765 --> 01:25:39,402 Now that you've had time to think about it 1374 01:25:39,435 --> 01:25:41,570 what do you and the other fellows here at Mind Fu... 1375 01:25:41,604 --> 01:25:43,539 Head, think? 1376 01:26:05,328 --> 01:26:06,562 (CROWD CHEERING) 1377 01:26:14,870 --> 01:26:16,705 MAN: Give it up for Kit! 1378 01:26:23,246 --> 01:26:26,282 Sir? This way. 1379 01:26:46,502 --> 01:26:47,803 Not bad seats. 1380 01:26:47,836 --> 01:26:49,672 Not bad seats at all. 1381 01:26:51,674 --> 01:26:53,442 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 1382 01:27:08,991 --> 01:27:11,860 BOWFINGER: CIA operative Todd Delmonico 1383 01:27:11,894 --> 01:27:15,798 drove his '53 Buick to meet Keith Kincaid. 1384 01:27:16,965 --> 01:27:18,801 TODD: Kincaid! 1385 01:27:18,834 --> 01:27:20,736 BOWFINGER: It had rained that day. 1386 01:27:21,570 --> 01:27:23,472 But was it normal rain? 1387 01:27:23,506 --> 01:27:24,973 Or was it Chubby Rain? 1388 01:27:33,949 --> 01:27:36,385 His guts replaced with alien hardware! 1389 01:27:59,508 --> 01:28:01,810 Gotcha, suckas! 1390 01:28:45,020 --> 01:28:46,655 Hey, you guys! 1391 01:28:47,756 --> 01:28:49,792 I want you to meet someone. 1392 01:28:50,459 --> 01:28:51,494 This is Farrah. 1393 01:28:51,527 --> 01:28:53,095 We met at the premiere. 1394 01:28:53,128 --> 01:28:56,532 She's one of the most powerful lesbians in Hollywood. 1395 01:28:56,565 --> 01:29:00,403 CAROL: Bravo! Bravo! 1396 01:29:04,507 --> 01:29:06,942 (PHONE RINGING) 1397 01:29:06,975 --> 01:29:08,043 Coppola? 1398 01:29:08,076 --> 01:29:10,446 I can't talk to you right now. 1399 01:29:10,479 --> 01:29:11,780 (VAN HONKING) 1400 01:30:22,818 --> 01:30:27,523 It's an offer to do a movie in Taiwan starring Kit Ramsey's brother. 1401 01:30:27,556 --> 01:30:28,957 (LOUD CHEERING) 1402 01:30:30,626 --> 01:30:33,562 We're going to Taiwan! 1403 01:31:37,793 --> 01:31:41,063 Jiff! Jiff! Jiff! 1404 01:31:56,078 --> 01:31:58,581 Good to see you again, brother. 1405 01:32:26,374 --> 01:32:27,976 (SHOUTING) 1406 01:37:29,077 --> 01:37:30,345 KIT: I saved the world! 1407 01:37:32,547 --> 01:37:33,848 I saved it.