1
00:00:03,060 --> 00:00:05,066
Here you are.
Olderfield looks good.
2
00:00:05,190 --> 00:00:08,455
On the northwest toll, eastbound traffic
is moving nicely this morning...
3
00:00:08,574 --> 00:00:10,838
From Beecham Road
down to River Road.
4
00:00:10,910 --> 00:00:14,215
Westbound, there's now a 20-car
backup at the Devon Avenue toll.
5
00:00:14,279 --> 00:00:17,715
And on the northbound I-290
extension at Thorndale Avenue,
6
00:00:17,783 --> 00:00:19,142
and there's a spinout there.
7
00:00:19,189 --> 00:00:21,429
And that car was blocking
the right-hand lane...
8
00:00:21,469 --> 00:00:25,230
And also blocking the lane
that's coming off of the, uh,
9
00:00:25,323 --> 00:00:28,155
eastbound, uh, Thorndale
Avenue entrance ramp...
10
00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:31,511
leading to the northbound,
uh, I-290 extension.
11
00:00:31,571 --> 00:00:33,905
This was causing
a backup to Irving Park.
12
00:00:33,945 --> 00:00:35,185
We have...
13
00:00:38,722 --> 00:00:39,692
Come on, chop-chop.
14
00:00:39,732 --> 00:00:41,412
I got relatives
invading us this afternoon.
15
00:00:41,473 --> 00:00:43,805
Ginny, Mike, Sara, Sam!
16
00:00:43,832 --> 00:00:45,778
Come on.
Everybody up!
17
00:00:46,989 --> 00:00:50,037
Oh, I think I have a fever.
18
00:00:50,115 --> 00:00:51,709
You don't have a fever.
19
00:00:51,809 --> 00:00:54,336
- Shut your face.
- Make me.
20
00:00:54,909 --> 00:00:56,936
Dad, Mike hit me!
21
00:00:56,996 --> 00:00:58,029
You liar.
22
00:00:58,063 --> 00:01:00,310
Mike, come on, pal.
We got a wedding tomorrow.
23
00:01:00,365 --> 00:01:03,208
- Try to cooperate, will you?
- Dad, I didn't hit her.
24
00:01:03,268 --> 00:01:05,971
I'd like to very much,
and I probably will later, but...
25
00:01:06,051 --> 00:01:07,231
give me a break.
26
00:01:07,331 --> 00:01:10,438
You know my method. I don't hit her
when you're just down the hall.
27
00:01:10,485 --> 00:01:12,908
Pick on someone your own size.
28
00:01:14,812 --> 00:01:16,561
Open this door.
29
00:01:17,776 --> 00:01:20,540
Daddy, I'm the one
getting married.
30
00:01:20,612 --> 00:01:23,877
Not until tomorrow. Come on.
I've got a mouthful of toothpaste.
31
00:01:23,949 --> 00:01:27,292
I happen to have
a serious problem.
32
00:01:27,905 --> 00:01:29,205
Dad.
33
00:01:29,258 --> 00:01:30,525
She got her period.
34
00:01:30,592 --> 00:01:32,459
Should make for
an interesting honeymoon, huh?
35
00:01:32,524 --> 00:01:34,247
Where are you learning that stuff?
36
00:01:34,300 --> 00:01:35,521
School.
37
00:01:36,327 --> 00:01:37,387
Good.
38
00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:39,181
Getting my money's worth.
39
00:01:39,276 --> 00:01:42,910
They were fantastic. Just great.
What a great crowd!
40
00:01:42,976 --> 00:01:44,276
And it was so much fun...
41
00:01:44,316 --> 00:01:46,683
♪ It's a good thing
you don't have bus fare ♪
42
00:01:46,763 --> 00:01:48,773
♪ It would fall through
the hole in your pocket ♪
43
00:01:48,819 --> 00:01:51,239
♪ And you'd lose it
in the snow on the ground ♪
44
00:01:51,286 --> 00:01:54,607
♪ You got to walk into town
to find a job ♪
45
00:01:54,679 --> 00:01:57,322
♪ You're trying to
keep your hands warm ♪
46
00:01:57,462 --> 00:02:00,090
Chronologically,
you're 16 today.
47
00:02:00,753 --> 00:02:02,406
Physically,...
48
00:02:03,501 --> 00:02:05,413
you're still 15.
49
00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:12,196
Hopeless.
50
00:02:15,031 --> 00:02:16,038
Nope.
51
00:02:16,131 --> 00:02:19,124
I look exactly the same
as I have since summer.
52
00:02:19,571 --> 00:02:21,505
Utterly forgettable.
53
00:02:21,573 --> 00:02:24,667
No, I didn't expect
to wake up transformed.
54
00:02:24,743 --> 00:02:28,113
I just thought that turning 16 would be
so major that I'd wake up with this...
55
00:02:28,213 --> 00:02:31,466
improved mental state
that would show on my face.
56
00:02:31,666 --> 00:02:34,709
All it shows is that
I don't have any sort of a tan left.
57
00:02:36,409 --> 00:02:37,912
I better get downstairs.
58
00:02:37,990 --> 00:02:39,273
My family's probably pissed off.
59
00:02:39,307 --> 00:02:41,473
I haven't let them wish me
Happy Birthday yet.
60
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:44,393
All right.
I'll see you at school.
61
00:02:49,364 --> 00:02:53,184
You need four inches of bod
and a great birthday.
62
00:02:56,170 --> 00:02:58,190
- Where's my briefcase?
- Where'd you leave it?
63
00:02:58,236 --> 00:03:00,750
- Don't be a smart-ass.
- Okay, I'll be a dumb-ass.
64
00:03:00,783 --> 00:03:02,046
You already are.
65
00:03:02,079 --> 00:03:02,726
Move it.
66
00:03:02,759 --> 00:03:05,033
- Okay, where's Sam?
- Where's my briefcase?
67
00:03:05,093 --> 00:03:06,893
- Sam?
- Allow me, Brenda.
68
00:03:06,953 --> 00:03:08,693
Hey, birth defect!
69
00:03:09,583 --> 00:03:10,944
You missed breakfast again.
70
00:03:10,977 --> 00:03:12,960
It wasn't my idea to give her
her own phone line.
71
00:03:12,986 --> 00:03:14,299
I don't have my own phone line.
72
00:03:14,359 --> 00:03:16,486
- Mike lifts all hardship.
- Grab a doughnut.
73
00:03:16,546 --> 00:03:17,953
What's wrong with the old ...?
74
00:03:18,004 --> 00:03:20,827
It's small. It's brown.
It's made of leather.
75
00:03:20,899 --> 00:03:23,663
It has my initials on it.
And I believe... that's it.
76
00:03:24,220 --> 00:03:26,829
Don't forget the grandparents
are coming this afternoon.
77
00:03:26,863 --> 00:03:28,716
Are we still having dinner
with the Rice Chex?
78
00:03:28,743 --> 00:03:30,775
Rizczechs.
8:00 at the club.
79
00:03:30,815 --> 00:03:33,911
Oh, and you'd better learn their names.
As of tomorrow, they're family.
80
00:03:33,945 --> 00:03:35,645
That's a lovely thought.
Hmm.
81
00:03:35,671 --> 00:03:38,998
When it comes your turn to get
married, do me a favour: Elope.
82
00:03:39,025 --> 00:03:41,510
- Who'd marry her?
- Mr. T.
83
00:03:41,576 --> 00:03:42,689
Oh, I'm sorry.
84
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:45,703
You'll have to buy lunch today.
I didn't have time to fix your carrots.
85
00:03:45,757 --> 00:03:49,055
Yeah, well, she's only eating carrots
to increase the size of her breasts.
86
00:03:49,310 --> 00:03:52,800
Mister, you had better shape up, or
you will miss your sister's wedding.
87
00:03:52,940 --> 00:03:54,413
Promise?
88
00:03:58,103 --> 00:04:01,038
Now, don't give me
that pouty look of yours.
89
00:04:01,106 --> 00:04:03,540
You can eat your carrots
when you get home.
90
00:04:03,608 --> 00:04:04,829
That's it?
91
00:04:04,876 --> 00:04:07,518
You don't have anything else
to say to me today?
92
00:04:08,404 --> 00:04:11,007
What would you like
me to say, Sam?
93
00:04:11,298 --> 00:04:13,800
Come on now, honey.
You're going to miss the bus.
94
00:04:13,945 --> 00:04:15,820
Have a good day.
95
00:04:18,646 --> 00:04:20,426
I can't believe this.
96
00:04:20,492 --> 00:04:23,219
They fucking forgot my birthday.
97
00:06:22,008 --> 00:06:23,907
I'm sure they didn't
forget your birthday.
98
00:06:23,942 --> 00:06:27,238
- They just didn't remember it right away.
- Same difference.
99
00:06:27,618 --> 00:06:30,672
You know, it's a drag that your sweet 16's
the day before Ginny gets married.
100
00:06:30,725 --> 00:06:33,441
- But big deal. They'll remember it.
- Oh, easy for you to say.
101
00:06:33,492 --> 00:06:36,281
- Did anyone ever forget your birthday?
- Come on, Sam.
102
00:06:36,335 --> 00:06:37,955
Everything's getting shittier.
103
00:06:37,982 --> 00:06:40,529
My family forgetting my birthday
just makes it more vivid.
104
00:06:40,555 --> 00:06:42,965
What do you expect,
a breakfast birthday party?
105
00:06:42,991 --> 00:06:45,011
No, but they could have,
at least, said "happy birthday."
106
00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:47,265
I mean, it was just like
any other day.
107
00:06:47,627 --> 00:06:49,267
Why don't you remind them?
108
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:52,140
They'll feel some massive guilt
that could be highly profitable.
109
00:06:52,187 --> 00:06:54,400
I wouldn't stoop to remind them.
110
00:06:54,546 --> 00:06:57,062
Since I was about 12, I've been
looking forward to my sweet 16.
111
00:06:57,109 --> 00:06:59,496
You know, a big party and a band,
112
00:06:59,536 --> 00:07:01,302
- with tons of people.
- Tons of people.
113
00:07:01,343 --> 00:07:04,869
And a big Trans Am in the driveway
with a ribbon around it.
114
00:07:04,990 --> 00:07:07,746
And some incredibly gorgeous guy
that you meet, like, in France.
115
00:07:07,786 --> 00:07:10,233
And you do it on a cloud without
getting pregnant or herpes.
116
00:07:10,273 --> 00:07:12,765
- I don't need the cloud.
- Just a pink Trans Am and the guy, right?
117
00:07:12,791 --> 00:07:14,316
- A Black one.
- Black guy?
118
00:07:14,356 --> 00:07:16,739
A black Trans Am.
A pink guy.
119
00:07:17,199 --> 00:07:18,892
Oh, no.
120
00:07:19,202 --> 00:07:21,162
♪ To those nice, nice nights ♪
121
00:07:21,239 --> 00:07:24,455
♪ I remember always always ♪
122
00:07:24,482 --> 00:07:27,185
♪ I got such a fright ♪
123
00:07:27,425 --> 00:07:30,541
♪ Seeing them in
my dark cupboard ♪
124
00:07:30,568 --> 00:07:33,161
♪ With my great big cake ♪
125
00:07:33,285 --> 00:07:36,345
♪ If they were me
if they were me ♪
126
00:07:36,444 --> 00:07:39,481
♪ And I was you and I was you ♪
127
00:07:39,558 --> 00:07:42,527
♪ If they were me
if they were me ♪
128
00:07:42,594 --> 00:07:45,529
♪ And I was you and I was you ♪
129
00:07:45,597 --> 00:07:48,367
♪ If they were me
and I was you ♪
130
00:07:48,407 --> 00:07:51,793
♪ Would you have liked
a present too ♪
131
00:07:58,109 --> 00:08:01,313
♪ Happy, Happy Birthday
in a hot bath ♪
132
00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:03,674
♪ To those nice, nice nights ♪
133
00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:07,381
♪ I remember always always ♪
134
00:08:07,414 --> 00:08:09,974
♪ I got such a fright ♪
135
00:08:10,478 --> 00:08:13,711
♪ Seeing them in
my dark cupboard ♪
136
00:08:13,758 --> 00:08:16,378
♪ With my great big cake ♪
137
00:08:16,591 --> 00:08:19,374
♪ If they were me
if they were me ♪
138
00:08:19,427 --> 00:08:22,614
♪ And I was you and I was you ♪
139
00:08:22,687 --> 00:08:25,543
♪ If they were me
if they were me ♪
140
00:08:25,717 --> 00:08:28,834
♪ And I was you and I was you ♪
141
00:08:28,907 --> 00:08:31,523
♪ If they were me
and I was you ♪
142
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:35,143
♪ Would you have liked
a present too ♪
143
00:08:47,668 --> 00:08:51,495
♪ Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday ♪
144
00:08:53,715 --> 00:08:58,021
♪ Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday ♪
145
00:08:59,868 --> 00:09:03,881
♪ Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday ♪
146
00:09:06,118 --> 00:09:10,341
♪ Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday ♪
147
00:09:12,328 --> 00:09:16,291
♪ Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday ♪
148
00:09:18,790 --> 00:09:22,573
♪ Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday ♪
149
00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:29,632
- You swear to God, you don't have it?
- I don't know anything about it.
150
00:09:29,701 --> 00:09:32,377
Jennifer woods gave me a sex test
during child development.
151
00:09:32,411 --> 00:09:35,381
And I was supposed to do it and
pass it to you in independent study.
152
00:09:35,434 --> 00:09:39,275
- I'm totally screwed.
- Did you put your name on it?
153
00:09:39,324 --> 00:09:40,197
Hi.
154
00:09:40,244 --> 00:09:42,090
No, but it was
really embarrassing.
155
00:09:42,130 --> 00:09:44,500
I had to name who I'd do it with
if I ever did it.
156
00:09:44,566 --> 00:09:46,479
Who'd you name?
157
00:09:46,986 --> 00:09:49,148
- Jake Ryan.
- Jake Ryan?
158
00:09:49,221 --> 00:09:51,096
He doesn't even know you exist.
159
00:09:51,162 --> 00:09:53,542
Thank you.
That's a very nice thing to say.
160
00:09:53,596 --> 00:09:55,522
I'm sorry.
But, Jake Ryan?
161
00:09:55,576 --> 00:09:58,399
He's a senior, and he's taken.
I mean, really taken.
162
00:09:58,452 --> 00:10:01,194
I know.
It was supposed to be my ideal.
163
00:10:01,266 --> 00:10:04,861
He's ideal, for sure,
but forget it.
164
00:10:05,006 --> 00:10:08,702
God, I hope whoever got the note
doesn't know it was me who wrote it.
165
00:10:08,773 --> 00:10:10,826
I'd shit twice and die.
166
00:10:13,778 --> 00:10:16,829
Do you know Samantha Baker?
167
00:10:17,271 --> 00:10:19,491
Sophomore, right?
168
00:10:19,905 --> 00:10:22,478
Yeah.
What do you think of her?
169
00:10:23,491 --> 00:10:25,578
I don't.
170
00:10:26,294 --> 00:10:28,714
Would you ever go out with her?
171
00:10:29,674 --> 00:10:32,180
Depends on how much you paid me.
172
00:10:32,274 --> 00:10:34,640
She's not ugly.
173
00:10:36,509 --> 00:10:37,767
There's nothing there, man.
174
00:10:37,836 --> 00:10:40,771
It's not ugly.
It's just... Void.
175
00:10:40,839 --> 00:10:43,243
- You know what I mean?
- There's something about her.
176
00:10:43,323 --> 00:10:46,602
I do independent study with her.
I catch her looking at me a lot.
177
00:10:46,678 --> 00:10:49,789
It's kind of cool, the way
she's always looking at me.
178
00:10:49,929 --> 00:10:51,974
Maybe, she's retarded.
179
00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:54,254
I'm being serious, okay?
180
00:10:54,352 --> 00:10:57,042
She looks at me like
she's in love with me.
181
00:10:57,242 --> 00:10:59,748
Jake, she's a child.
182
00:10:59,935 --> 00:11:01,128
So?
183
00:11:01,658 --> 00:11:02,998
So what're you
gonna do with her?
184
00:11:03,045 --> 00:11:06,285
She's obviously too
young to party serious.
185
00:11:06,598 --> 00:11:09,781
Maybe, I'm interested
in more than a party.
186
00:11:10,261 --> 00:11:12,861
Come on, Jake.
You talk like you're hard up.
187
00:11:12,928 --> 00:11:15,538
You got Caroline.
Now, she's a woman.
188
00:11:19,194 --> 00:11:20,957
Unbelievable.
189
00:11:21,145 --> 00:11:25,284
I swear to God, Caroline Mulford
had to flunk about nine grades.
190
00:11:25,349 --> 00:11:27,544
Truly makes me ill.
191
00:11:27,781 --> 00:11:29,281
She's perfect.
192
00:11:29,353 --> 00:11:31,608
Practically impossible to cut up.
193
00:11:32,001 --> 00:11:34,074
She's supposedly real sweet.
194
00:11:34,108 --> 00:11:37,278
Brother's deaf, and everybody
in the world worships her.
195
00:11:37,411 --> 00:11:39,658
And she's going with Jake.
196
00:11:40,091 --> 00:11:42,307
Oh, I'm going to kill myself.
197
00:11:42,454 --> 00:11:44,101
My man.
198
00:11:59,684 --> 00:12:02,221
I loathe the bus.
199
00:12:07,705 --> 00:12:11,471
There has to be a more dignified
mode of transportation.
200
00:12:11,696 --> 00:12:14,290
I hope you get a car for
your birthday, and a license.
201
00:12:14,365 --> 00:12:16,668
Let's not hold our breath.
202
00:12:20,109 --> 00:12:22,543
Score!
A direct hit.
203
00:12:23,407 --> 00:12:25,467
On second thought.
204
00:12:46,036 --> 00:12:47,970
♪ Hey ♪
205
00:12:50,899 --> 00:12:53,083
Move it!
206
00:13:01,679 --> 00:13:03,177
- Call me, okay?
- You call me first.
207
00:13:03,204 --> 00:13:04,617
Tell me what happened at home.
208
00:13:04,682 --> 00:13:07,172
I can tell you right now.
Nothing.
209
00:13:07,218 --> 00:13:11,212
Will you quit feeling sorry for yourself?
It's bad for your complexion!
210
00:13:31,666 --> 00:13:33,310
How's it going?
211
00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:35,312
How's what going?
212
00:13:36,547 --> 00:13:40,313
You know, things, life, whatnot.
213
00:13:40,385 --> 00:13:43,628
Life is not "whatnot", and
it's none of your business.
214
00:13:46,696 --> 00:13:49,303
Hmm. So you going to the new
faces dance tonight, or...
215
00:13:49,343 --> 00:13:51,704
That's also none of your business.
216
00:13:55,426 --> 00:13:58,259
Are you inhibited about
dancing in public? I mean,...
217
00:13:58,552 --> 00:13:59,919
you don't have to dance.
218
00:13:59,952 --> 00:14:03,588
Maybe, you could just stand there with
me and my dudes and just be you, and...
219
00:14:03,622 --> 00:14:05,395
Sounds major.
220
00:14:08,462 --> 00:14:10,850
So, I mean, what's the story?
I mean, you got a guy, or...
221
00:14:10,890 --> 00:14:13,422
Yes, three big ones, and
they lust wimp blood.
222
00:14:13,475 --> 00:14:16,838
So quit bugging me, or I'll sic
them all over your weenie ass.
223
00:14:17,568 --> 00:14:20,438
You know, I'm getting input here
that I'm reading as relatively hostile.
224
00:14:20,494 --> 00:14:23,101
- I mean, it's just...
- Go to hell.
225
00:14:24,146 --> 00:14:26,247
Very hostile.
226
00:14:28,202 --> 00:14:31,746
Come on, what's the problem here?
I'm a boy, you're a girl.
227
00:14:31,772 --> 00:14:33,440
Is there anything wrong with me
trying to put together
228
00:14:33,466 --> 00:14:35,699
some kind of relationship
between us?
229
00:14:37,208 --> 00:14:39,971
Okay now, I know you have to go.
Just answer one question.
230
00:14:40,011 --> 00:14:41,898
Yes, you're a total fag.
231
00:14:42,581 --> 00:14:44,734
That's not the question.
232
00:14:45,628 --> 00:14:47,778
Am-Am I turning you on?
233
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,710
It's encouraging.
234
00:14:58,810 --> 00:15:01,255
- Very encouraging.
- Yeah, uh-huh.
235
00:15:01,332 --> 00:15:03,766
You know, a girl with a hat
is just so... whew.
236
00:15:03,835 --> 00:15:07,100
- So vogue.
- Uh, y-yeah.
237
00:15:23,225 --> 00:15:24,845
Where are my blue socks,
Dorothy?
238
00:15:24,885 --> 00:15:26,832
You mean to tell me
you didn't pack them?
239
00:15:26,899 --> 00:15:28,412
Oh, not again, Howard.
240
00:15:28,526 --> 00:15:30,629
Can't I trust you
to do anything?
241
00:15:30,676 --> 00:15:32,889
Do you expect me
to do all the packing?
242
00:15:32,951 --> 00:15:36,042
Well, at least, I brought
this for you.
243
00:15:36,470 --> 00:15:37,417
It...
244
00:15:37,589 --> 00:15:38,793
Sam!
245
00:15:39,793 --> 00:15:41,266
Samantha.
246
00:15:41,339 --> 00:15:44,042
- Look.
- Oh, look.
247
00:15:44,591 --> 00:15:47,305
- Hi!
- Hi!
248
00:15:48,095 --> 00:15:49,809
Oh, God.
249
00:15:51,610 --> 00:15:53,707
Oh, sweetheart!
250
00:15:53,746 --> 00:15:55,853
My goodness, are you
a sight for sore eyes.
251
00:15:55,893 --> 00:15:58,013
Moa and moa!
252
00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:01,248
Oh, good!
Just look.
253
00:16:01,282 --> 00:16:04,388
- How are you, my little lamb chop, huh?
- Hello!
254
00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:06,118
- I'm fine, Grandpa.
- Fine.
255
00:16:06,144 --> 00:16:07,125
How are you guys?
256
00:16:07,158 --> 00:16:09,425
Oh, pretty good.
Of course, I get lower back pain.
257
00:16:09,478 --> 00:16:11,894
- Oh, my corns are killing me.
- Every once in a while, my arthritis
258
00:16:11,934 --> 00:16:13,921
- in my fingers bothers me quite a bit.
- But, I brought the ice bag.
259
00:16:13,968 --> 00:16:16,266
So are you, uh...
you're sleeping up here?
260
00:16:16,340 --> 00:16:17,241
- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
261
00:16:17,270 --> 00:16:20,530
Your grandfather Fred jumped
our claim on Sara's room.
262
00:16:20,557 --> 00:16:22,010
So here we are up here.
263
00:16:22,050 --> 00:16:24,266
Well, I haven't seen you in a while.
264
00:16:24,347 --> 00:16:26,626
Do I look any older today?
265
00:16:26,717 --> 00:16:28,453
Oh, no.
No, I wouldn't say so.
266
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:29,680
- Do you think so, hon?
- No.
267
00:16:29,707 --> 00:16:31,607
Oh, I hope it isn't cold tomorrow.
268
00:16:31,747 --> 00:16:32,916
You know Ginny.
269
00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:34,817
- It's not gonna be cold, for heaven sake.
- She'll refuse to wear a hat and coat...
270
00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:37,486
- over her wedding dress.
- Well if she does, you mustn't bug her...
271
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:39,313
- because...
- No, I'm not gonna bug her...
272
00:16:39,346 --> 00:16:41,133
I'm going to go set
myself up in Mike's room.
273
00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:42,609
So I'll see you guys later.
274
00:16:42,649 --> 00:16:44,462
- Okay, sweetheart.
- Look, there she goes.
275
00:16:44,496 --> 00:16:48,612
Your grandpa and I are looking forward
to a nice, long-long visit with you.
276
00:16:48,739 --> 00:16:50,475
- Aces.
- We certainly are.
277
00:16:52,422 --> 00:16:55,795
Uh, see you a little later, darling.
We've got a lot to...
278
00:16:56,783 --> 00:17:00,136
I swear to God,
this is got to be a joke.
279
00:17:00,242 --> 00:17:02,792
Grandparents
forgetting a birthday?
280
00:17:02,845 --> 00:17:05,372
They live for that shit.
281
00:17:05,588 --> 00:17:08,402
♪ Put my arms around you ♪
282
00:17:09,062 --> 00:17:13,341
Well, well,
if it isn't Sammy Baker...
283
00:17:13,374 --> 00:17:15,054
Davis, Junior.
284
00:17:15,943 --> 00:17:18,731
- Hi, grandpa.
- Oh, I've got one for you.
285
00:17:18,803 --> 00:17:20,737
- Knock, knock.
- Who's there?
286
00:17:20,805 --> 00:17:22,326
- Who.
- Who, who?
287
00:17:22,366 --> 00:17:26,616
Helen, we've got an owl
out here in the hall.
288
00:17:28,946 --> 00:17:31,349
- Oh!
- Oh, Fred. Fred, leave her alone.
289
00:17:31,389 --> 00:17:33,869
- You'll make her tinkle.
- Oh, come on, Helen.
290
00:17:33,909 --> 00:17:36,862
Oh, Sam, let me look at you.
291
00:17:37,015 --> 00:17:38,232
Oh.
292
00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:41,812
Fred, she's gotten her boobies.
293
00:17:41,859 --> 00:17:45,890
Oh, I'd better go get
my magnifying glass.
294
00:17:46,453 --> 00:17:49,819
Oh, and they are so perky!
295
00:18:02,061 --> 00:18:06,168
I can't believe my grandmother
actually felt me up.
296
00:18:11,455 --> 00:18:14,758
What's happening, hot stuff?
297
00:18:15,118 --> 00:18:18,018
His name is Long Duk Dong.
298
00:18:18,132 --> 00:18:21,193
- What?
- Long Duk Dong.
299
00:18:21,426 --> 00:18:23,666
He came down with
Grandma and Grandpa Baker.
300
00:18:23,706 --> 00:18:26,269
He's an exchange student
that's living with them.
301
00:18:26,337 --> 00:18:29,962
- Yeah, well, he's totally bizarre.
- He is not.
302
00:18:30,074 --> 00:18:32,668
He is a very sweet boy.
303
00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:36,466
I just hope you burn the sheets
and mattresses after he leaves.
304
00:18:37,426 --> 00:18:39,453
I don't suppose it makes
any difference to you,
305
00:18:39,486 --> 00:18:41,943
but there's a very weird
Chinese guy up in Mike's room.
306
00:18:42,016 --> 00:18:44,788
Ginny dumped Rudy.
He's her new fiancée.
307
00:18:44,856 --> 00:18:46,927
Mike,...
stop it.
308
00:18:47,121 --> 00:18:50,657
Sam, honey, do you think you could
help the grandmothers with supper?
309
00:18:50,728 --> 00:18:53,376
Dad and I have to go to the club
for dinner with the Rice Chex.
310
00:18:53,431 --> 00:18:54,958
Rizczechs.
311
00:18:55,044 --> 00:18:56,598
Oh.
Rizczechs.
312
00:18:56,860 --> 00:18:58,790
Um, do you think that
there's any reason
313
00:18:58,819 --> 00:19:01,737
I should possibly
stay home tonight?
314
00:19:01,803 --> 00:19:03,326
Well, I think it might be nice
315
00:19:03,366 --> 00:19:06,475
if you'd visit with your grandparents
and Long Duk Dong.
316
00:19:06,501 --> 00:19:07,626
Who?
317
00:19:07,706 --> 00:19:10,509
Um, the weird chinese guy
in Mike's room.
318
00:19:10,669 --> 00:19:11,689
Oh.
319
00:19:11,782 --> 00:19:14,989
- I think I have a dance to go to.
- Well, that's okay.
320
00:19:15,633 --> 00:19:19,629
Oh, can you remember to turn off
the stove in 20 minutes?
321
00:19:19,690 --> 00:19:22,282
I can remember lots of things.
322
00:19:27,553 --> 00:19:30,393
This is the single worst day
of my entire life.
323
00:19:30,426 --> 00:19:32,093
What the hell are you
bitching about?
324
00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:35,697
I got to sleep under some Chinaman
named after a duck's dork.
325
00:19:36,340 --> 00:19:38,186
Well, where am I sleeping?
326
00:19:38,228 --> 00:19:40,426
Sofa city, sweetheart.
327
00:19:46,139 --> 00:19:49,218
Do you think Grandpa Fred's
going to embarrass me?
328
00:19:49,335 --> 00:19:52,662
I don't know why not.
He does to everyone else.
329
00:19:52,873 --> 00:19:57,440
He already asked me
if Rudy was the oily variety bohunk.
330
00:19:57,486 --> 00:19:59,047
Is he?
331
00:19:59,460 --> 00:20:01,193
Don't be cute.
332
00:20:01,696 --> 00:20:04,533
I really love Rudy.
333
00:20:04,602 --> 00:20:07,996
He is totally enamoured of me.
334
00:20:09,507 --> 00:20:12,169
I mean, I've had men
who've loved me before,
335
00:20:12,242 --> 00:20:16,163
but not for six months in a row.
336
00:20:16,476 --> 00:20:18,206
I think I'm in love.
337
00:20:18,310 --> 00:20:21,663
So, how long have you
been in love, hmm?
338
00:20:21,937 --> 00:20:24,567
Well, it hasn't really happened yet.
339
00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:27,328
So, what's the deal?
340
00:20:28,542 --> 00:20:31,652
I'm not sure that
he knows I exist.
341
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:36,857
Sam, I really don't
have time for this.
342
00:20:37,390 --> 00:20:38,925
Well, I'm sorry.
343
00:20:39,297 --> 00:20:42,264
I always listen to you talk
about your boyfriends.
344
00:20:42,338 --> 00:20:45,364
Darling, is something
bothering you?
345
00:20:48,936 --> 00:20:52,876
You're really acting like...
an asshole.
346
00:20:54,467 --> 00:20:56,094
And I think I know what it is.
347
00:20:56,167 --> 00:20:59,234
I think you're jealous that
I'm getting married...
348
00:20:59,294 --> 00:21:02,607
And that I'm getting all
the attention, hmm?
349
00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:07,563
You know, everybody in this family
has just gone totally outer limits.
350
00:21:07,649 --> 00:21:09,396
No, Sam.
351
00:21:09,468 --> 00:21:14,228
I think you're just being
a little selfish and immature.
352
00:21:15,402 --> 00:21:17,629
Oh, yes.
That's it.
353
00:21:17,889 --> 00:21:19,895
That's exactly it.
354
00:21:22,882 --> 00:21:24,248
Unbelievable.
355
00:21:24,288 --> 00:21:27,888
You make someone a bridesmaid,
and they shit all over you.
356
00:21:37,604 --> 00:21:39,404
Very clever dinner.
357
00:21:39,657 --> 00:21:44,758
Appetizing food fit neatly
into interesting round pie.
358
00:21:44,825 --> 00:21:46,505
It's a quiche.
359
00:21:46,592 --> 00:21:48,198
Hmm.
How do you spell?
360
00:21:48,238 --> 00:21:51,501
Well, you don't spell it, son.
You eat it.
361
00:21:53,207 --> 00:21:56,360
Dong has only been in our
country a short time, Fred.
362
00:21:56,387 --> 00:21:58,394
I think we could all
help him assimilate.
363
00:21:58,434 --> 00:21:59,547
Oh.
364
00:22:00,245 --> 00:22:03,277
Long Duk Dong is
about your age, Sam.
365
00:22:03,317 --> 00:22:05,720
You two should have
a lot to chat about.
366
00:22:05,779 --> 00:22:09,622
I love, uh, visiting with
Grandma and Grandpa...
367
00:22:09,668 --> 00:22:11,655
and writing letters
to parents...
368
00:22:11,749 --> 00:22:14,706
and pushing lawn-mowing machine,
369
00:22:14,732 --> 00:22:18,517
so Grandpa's hyena
don't get disturbed.
370
00:22:18,825 --> 00:22:20,379
Hernia!
371
00:22:21,472 --> 00:22:23,595
Oh, yes, yes, yes, indeedy.
372
00:22:23,628 --> 00:22:28,594
He-He does the dishes and helps
with the laundry. You betcha.
373
00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:32,874
May I be excused?
374
00:22:32,927 --> 00:22:34,860
Where are you going?
375
00:22:35,469 --> 00:22:38,475
I have a dance to go do.
At school.
376
00:22:39,282 --> 00:22:41,395
It's a very important dance.
377
00:22:41,429 --> 00:22:44,293
Uh, we're being graded on it.
For gym.
378
00:22:44,361 --> 00:22:47,884
Wait a minute.
I have a wonderful idea.
379
00:22:48,937 --> 00:22:52,356
Would you like to go
to the dance with Sam?
380
00:23:15,897 --> 00:23:17,343
I wonder if Jake's here.
381
00:23:17,377 --> 00:23:19,717
I don't think it's too healthy
to get jacked up about some guy
382
00:23:19,750 --> 00:23:21,057
that there's even a thing yet.
383
00:23:21,110 --> 00:23:24,140
Yeah, when you don't have anything,
you don't have anything to lose, right?
384
00:23:24,173 --> 00:23:25,947
That's a cheerful thought.
385
00:23:26,103 --> 00:23:28,196
Let's go make ourselves available.
386
00:23:45,570 --> 00:23:48,334
That's the one, dude.
Scope it out.
387
00:23:48,407 --> 00:23:51,510
- She doesn't look like a freshman.
- Sophomore, dude. Sophomore.
388
00:23:51,581 --> 00:23:54,015
Fully aged sophomore meat.
389
00:23:57,401 --> 00:23:59,631
- We do the bus together.
- You talk to her?
390
00:23:59,657 --> 00:24:00,587
Talk?
Dude,...
391
00:24:00,613 --> 00:24:02,331
- I have a relationship with her.
- Cut it out.
392
00:24:02,357 --> 00:24:04,651
Figure to, like, 17 digits.
393
00:24:05,009 --> 00:24:07,285
You are such a liar.
394
00:24:07,339 --> 00:24:09,089
We'll see about that, my man.
395
00:24:09,142 --> 00:24:11,525
By night's end, I predict...
396
00:24:11,739 --> 00:24:14,609
me and her will interface.
397
00:24:18,956 --> 00:24:22,483
♪ Huh huh huh hu-uh huh ♪
398
00:24:28,174 --> 00:24:31,991
♪ Huh huh huh hu-uh huh ♪
399
00:24:32,069 --> 00:24:34,621
♪ I know this ♪
400
00:24:34,728 --> 00:24:38,044
♪ Much is true ♪
401
00:24:38,131 --> 00:24:41,138
♪ Huh huh huh hu-uh huh ♪
402
00:24:41,164 --> 00:24:44,806
- ♪ I know this... ♪
- Check it out, Wease.
403
00:24:47,146 --> 00:24:51,449
- Pretty intense, huh? Over.
- Well, actually to the Max. Over.
404
00:25:04,162 --> 00:25:06,533
All right.
405
00:25:06,971 --> 00:25:08,905
I knew you'd come around.
406
00:25:10,460 --> 00:25:12,033
Oh, Christ!
407
00:25:12,936 --> 00:25:14,403
Crank that, sister!
408
00:25:14,444 --> 00:25:17,436
♪ Poap-poap-poap-poap ♪
♪ Poap-poap-poah ♪
409
00:25:24,349 --> 00:25:26,049
Very hot.
Very hot.
410
00:25:26,095 --> 00:25:27,915
This night...
this night is happening.
411
00:25:27,975 --> 00:25:30,126
♪ Whoa ♪
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
412
00:25:33,867 --> 00:25:36,161
I'm blowing your mind, aren't I?
413
00:25:38,128 --> 00:25:39,652
I'm just getting warmed up.
414
00:25:39,705 --> 00:25:41,258
Uh!
Wooh!
415
00:25:55,152 --> 00:25:57,586
Ow.
Excuse me.
416
00:26:30,210 --> 00:26:33,289
Way to go, dick-face.
She took off.
417
00:26:33,357 --> 00:26:35,307
Don't spaz out, okay, Wease?
418
00:26:35,407 --> 00:26:37,226
- The situation'll come on-line.
- Yeah?
419
00:26:37,260 --> 00:26:40,607
I'll bet you a dozen floppy disks,
you don't even get tit.
420
00:26:40,687 --> 00:26:43,381
You got a bet, scumbag.
I'll get it all.
421
00:26:43,474 --> 00:26:44,487
Take off.
422
00:26:44,548 --> 00:26:46,947
You wouldn't be able
to prove it anyway.
423
00:26:47,194 --> 00:26:48,694
A, don't hit me.
424
00:26:48,766 --> 00:26:52,054
Secondly, what kind
of proof do you want?
425
00:26:52,441 --> 00:26:54,101
- Video.
- Video.
426
00:26:54,170 --> 00:26:57,030
No way. I can just see the thing
getting duped a thousand times.
427
00:26:57,057 --> 00:26:59,200
And winding up
on cable somewhere.
428
00:26:59,489 --> 00:27:01,260
Try again.
429
00:27:01,377 --> 00:27:03,311
- Underpants.
- Underpants.
430
00:27:05,569 --> 00:27:07,503
No problem, butt-lick.
431
00:27:16,469 --> 00:27:18,979
- Girls' underpants.
- ♪ One, two ♪
432
00:27:19,005 --> 00:27:21,952
♪ And your girlfriend sweet little 17 ♪
433
00:27:21,999 --> 00:27:25,006
♪ She's got her layered hair
and her flared jeans ♪
434
00:27:25,075 --> 00:27:28,010
♪ You know what that means
she's just a little queen ♪
435
00:27:28,078 --> 00:27:30,428
♪ She shares your London flat ♪
436
00:27:30,481 --> 00:27:33,134
♪ She thinks that
London's where it's at ♪
437
00:27:33,227 --> 00:27:36,168
♪ Although it stinks and
when it rains you wear your hat ♪
438
00:27:36,234 --> 00:27:40,184
♪ And your plum-coloured
pvc wet-look maxi Mac ♪
439
00:27:40,224 --> 00:27:42,860
♪ You tie your ginger hair
back in a bun ♪
440
00:27:42,914 --> 00:27:47,240
♪ You're the ugliest creature
under the sun ♪
441
00:27:49,417 --> 00:27:51,297
So, what's your name?
442
00:27:51,401 --> 00:27:52,827
Dong.
443
00:27:53,605 --> 00:27:55,298
What's your first name?
444
00:27:55,445 --> 00:27:56,780
Long.
445
00:27:58,308 --> 00:28:00,432
What's your middle name?
446
00:28:00,624 --> 00:28:02,419
Duk.
447
00:28:04,390 --> 00:28:07,924
I bet all the boys chase you
plenty in the school, huh?
448
00:28:08,452 --> 00:28:10,628
- Nobody's caught me yet.
- Hmm.
449
00:28:10,668 --> 00:28:12,615
I betcha you big teaser, huh?
450
00:28:12,662 --> 00:28:16,486
No.
I run the 40 in five flat.
451
00:28:17,301 --> 00:28:18,831
Flat?
452
00:28:22,058 --> 00:28:23,528
Hey.
453
00:28:23,761 --> 00:28:25,310
Oh, I'm really sorry, man.
454
00:28:25,337 --> 00:28:28,317
Whatever I did was an accid...
I-I-I didn't mean to...
455
00:28:28,377 --> 00:28:30,083
Relax.
456
00:28:35,076 --> 00:28:36,383
You, uh,...
457
00:28:36,550 --> 00:28:38,829
You danced with a girl?
458
00:28:39,063 --> 00:28:42,118
Oh, man, I'm really...
I'm really sorry, man.
459
00:28:42,186 --> 00:28:45,442
- I must've been on drugs five minutes ago.
- Do you know her?
460
00:28:45,529 --> 00:28:47,836
She grabbed me, guy.
I'm totally innocent.
461
00:28:47,889 --> 00:28:49,049
Is-Is she yours?
462
00:28:49,101 --> 00:28:51,221
What do you know about her?
463
00:28:51,695 --> 00:28:53,324
She has smallish tits.
464
00:28:53,632 --> 00:28:54,832
Decent voice.
465
00:28:54,965 --> 00:28:56,544
Smells pretty good.
466
00:28:56,831 --> 00:28:58,405
She drives me crazy.
467
00:28:58,544 --> 00:29:00,031
Did she come here with you?
468
00:29:00,141 --> 00:29:01,314
No, no.
But, uh,...
469
00:29:01,341 --> 00:29:04,341
if it's okay with my dad,
she's going home with me.
470
00:29:05,128 --> 00:29:06,734
Excuse me.
471
00:29:16,955 --> 00:29:18,915
Do you guys want to
blow off this dance?
472
00:29:18,951 --> 00:29:22,082
Yes. I am bored to
the brink of insanity.
473
00:29:22,159 --> 00:29:23,605
And go where?
474
00:29:23,642 --> 00:29:25,695
Jake's parent's aren't home.
We can do his house.
475
00:29:25,749 --> 00:29:27,355
How's it going?
476
00:29:27,529 --> 00:29:28,763
Fine.
477
00:29:28,936 --> 00:29:32,260
Let's party light. Jake's paranoid
about his house getting trashed.
478
00:29:32,336 --> 00:29:34,472
- Again!
- ♪ And I won't regret it ♪
479
00:29:34,508 --> 00:29:36,165
♪ For a single moment ♪
480
00:29:36,199 --> 00:29:38,179
♪ The hours I spend ♪
481
00:29:38,233 --> 00:29:40,146
♪ Investigating ♪
482
00:29:40,223 --> 00:29:42,182
♪ A way of living ♪
483
00:29:42,216 --> 00:29:43,949
♪ Without misgiving ♪
484
00:29:43,997 --> 00:29:47,966
♪ Ah yah pains ♪
485
00:29:48,033 --> 00:29:49,546
♪ Growing pains... ♪
486
00:29:50,667 --> 00:29:52,010
Oof!
487
00:30:03,947 --> 00:30:06,457
Okay.
Yeah.
488
00:30:06,903 --> 00:30:08,379
All right.
489
00:30:12,619 --> 00:30:15,626
Just trying to get
a little bit of water.
490
00:30:16,239 --> 00:30:17,847
Yeah.
491
00:30:22,385 --> 00:30:24,653
Yes, I'm back.
492
00:30:24,721 --> 00:30:26,324
So I smell.
493
00:30:26,528 --> 00:30:28,478
It's my shaving cream.
494
00:30:28,825 --> 00:30:32,058
- Also, real clean, close shave?
- I'll pass.
495
00:30:32,311 --> 00:30:34,651
Couldn't find
anyone else to bug, huh?
496
00:30:34,931 --> 00:30:37,861
Come on. You know you're
the one I want to bug, huh?
497
00:30:37,907 --> 00:30:41,367
This is my friend, Randy.
And that's Jimmy Montrose.
498
00:30:41,461 --> 00:30:42,497
Howdy, dude.
499
00:30:42,551 --> 00:30:44,257
- This is farmer Fred.
- Ted.
500
00:30:44,291 --> 00:30:46,484
Oh, I'm sorry.
This is farmer Ted.
501
00:30:46,544 --> 00:30:49,016
I'm not really a farmer.
I'm a freshman.
502
00:30:49,056 --> 00:30:51,229
Geek?
Can I be honest with you?
503
00:30:51,276 --> 00:30:53,449
Not if you're gonna insult me.
504
00:30:53,490 --> 00:30:55,249
Okay.
505
00:30:56,431 --> 00:30:58,365
Uh...
Shoot.
506
00:30:58,404 --> 00:31:03,002
- Get the hell out of here.
- Nice! Nice manners, babe!
507
00:31:03,082 --> 00:31:05,745
She's totally serious, ass-wipe.
508
00:31:05,892 --> 00:31:07,465
Chill.
509
00:31:13,265 --> 00:31:15,438
You want to split with me?
I...
510
00:31:17,221 --> 00:31:19,228
- I don't know. You know, my mom,...
- I can't handle this.
511
00:31:19,261 --> 00:31:21,604
She tells me, "you want something,
you got to ask for it."
512
00:31:21,650 --> 00:31:23,677
You know, I mean,
I'm not the kind of guy...
513
00:31:23,731 --> 00:31:27,417
It's embarrassing for me.
I don't know. I just...
514
00:31:27,965 --> 00:31:29,426
It's just...
515
00:32:15,808 --> 00:32:18,802
I'm really sorry about
what happened in the gym.
516
00:32:19,015 --> 00:32:21,742
I-I had no idea
you couldn't dance.
517
00:32:48,164 --> 00:32:49,997
What a decent night, huh?
518
00:32:50,038 --> 00:32:51,941
It's my birthday.
519
00:32:54,504 --> 00:32:57,496
♪ Bang nah nah nah nah
You say it's your birthday ♪
520
00:32:57,574 --> 00:32:59,508
♪ Bang nah nah nah nah
It's my birthday too ♪
521
00:32:59,583 --> 00:33:01,750
Don't do that, okay?
522
00:33:03,841 --> 00:33:07,294
♪ Hey, Jude ♪
- Just stop it, okay?
523
00:33:07,354 --> 00:33:09,874
I mean, it's really been
a shitty birthday for me.
524
00:33:09,921 --> 00:33:13,371
No of fence, but I don't need
a serenade right how.
525
00:33:14,024 --> 00:33:16,097
What's wrong?
You didn't get anything good? Or...
526
00:33:16,137 --> 00:33:18,900
I didn't get shit.
Not even a "Happy Birthday."
527
00:33:18,953 --> 00:33:22,222
My whole family just
sort of blew it off.
528
00:33:24,334 --> 00:33:26,849
I'd freak if my family
forgot my birthday.
529
00:33:26,875 --> 00:33:29,817
It's a brand new year. I'm 16.
Everything should be platinum.
530
00:33:29,856 --> 00:33:31,392
I should be happy, right?
531
00:33:31,459 --> 00:33:32,912
- Right?
- Yeah.
532
00:33:33,010 --> 00:33:34,752
Well, I can't get happy.
533
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:38,233
It is physically impossible
for me to get happy.
534
00:33:41,867 --> 00:33:44,400
Would you feel better if you knew
one of my secrets? Or...
535
00:33:45,074 --> 00:33:46,484
Don't gross me out.
536
00:33:46,604 --> 00:33:49,284
No, we're not talking gross here.
No. It's...
537
00:33:49,697 --> 00:33:51,997
It's just embarrassing.
538
00:33:58,059 --> 00:34:00,501
This information cannot
leave this room, okay?
539
00:34:00,570 --> 00:34:03,630
It would devastate
my reputation as a dude.
540
00:34:04,460 --> 00:34:06,323
No problem.
541
00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:13,054
I've never bagged a babe.
542
00:34:16,611 --> 00:34:18,350
I'm not a stud.
543
00:34:21,973 --> 00:34:23,860
I got the rep in sixth grade.
544
00:34:23,907 --> 00:34:26,020
And it, like, it stuck with me.
545
00:34:26,260 --> 00:34:28,297
I'm still on hold.
546
00:34:30,206 --> 00:34:33,446
Look, I'd appreciate you
not laughing here, okay?
547
00:34:33,622 --> 00:34:35,556
I'm sorry.
548
00:34:36,586 --> 00:34:38,446
That's not what I meant.
549
00:34:41,455 --> 00:34:42,904
I meant...
550
00:34:44,614 --> 00:34:47,411
Hey, time out, junior.
551
00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:52,163
Pardon me.
552
00:34:56,771 --> 00:34:58,456
It's okay.
553
00:35:03,198 --> 00:35:05,426
I meant that it's okay
that you did it once,
554
00:35:05,464 --> 00:35:08,278
but I didn't mean
for you to do it again!
555
00:35:09,161 --> 00:35:10,810
I'm sorry.
556
00:35:11,870 --> 00:35:13,357
Sorry.
557
00:35:15,912 --> 00:35:19,068
You know, just now, I really felt
how much you like me.
558
00:35:20,364 --> 00:35:23,315
You're probably zoning in on
my brain waves or something.
559
00:35:24,473 --> 00:35:27,080
Well, not really.
I felt it on my leg.
560
00:35:28,966 --> 00:35:31,793
Come on.
I don't want to see it!
561
00:35:34,657 --> 00:35:35,898
Oh.
562
00:35:36,686 --> 00:35:39,030
Sorry if I embarrassed you.
563
00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:40,936
I'm not embarrassed.
564
00:35:41,173 --> 00:35:43,783
Fresh breath's
a priority in my life.
565
00:35:47,159 --> 00:35:49,379
I don't want to
hurt your feelings,
566
00:35:49,426 --> 00:35:51,992
'cause it's really human of you
to listen to my bullshit.
567
00:35:52,061 --> 00:35:54,263
I care about it, really.
I mean...
568
00:35:55,036 --> 00:35:57,583
Now, I know I came on kind of
like a poozer on the bus tonight
569
00:35:57,616 --> 00:35:59,023
and everything.
But,...
570
00:35:59,290 --> 00:36:02,320
that's just so my friends won't think,
you know, I'm a jerk.
571
00:36:03,159 --> 00:36:05,593
But they're all pretty much jerks,
though, aren't they?
572
00:36:05,662 --> 00:36:07,269
Yeah, but...
573
00:36:07,342 --> 00:36:10,175
the thing is,
I'm kind of like the leader. Yeah.
574
00:36:10,423 --> 00:36:12,764
Kind of like the king
of the dipshits.
575
00:36:12,836 --> 00:36:14,479
Well, that's pretty cool.
576
00:36:14,672 --> 00:36:16,899
Hey, but a lot can
happen over a year.
577
00:36:16,979 --> 00:36:20,526
I mean, you could come back next fall
as a completely normal person.
578
00:36:20,970 --> 00:36:23,606
- Yeah?
- Sure.
579
00:36:27,651 --> 00:36:30,060
Would it be totally
off the wall if...
580
00:36:31,667 --> 00:36:34,674
If I asked if I could
have sex with you?
581
00:36:37,227 --> 00:36:40,783
Yeah, well, you asking me is not
as off the wall as why I won't.
582
00:36:41,216 --> 00:36:42,625
V.D.?
583
00:36:43,490 --> 00:36:44,633
No.
584
00:36:44,737 --> 00:36:47,257
I'm sort of saving myself.
585
00:36:47,738 --> 00:36:51,293
It's really stupid.
He doesn't even know I exist.
586
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:53,006
Who?
587
00:36:53,795 --> 00:36:55,729
Who?
588
00:36:56,387 --> 00:36:58,651
Jake Ryan.
589
00:36:58,966 --> 00:37:00,849
You like Jake?
590
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:03,353
Ja... Jake's my boy!
591
00:37:03,507 --> 00:37:05,193
I just talked to
Jake in the gym.
592
00:37:05,300 --> 00:37:07,547
- He asked me about you.
- Did not!
593
00:37:07,587 --> 00:37:10,789
He did too. He did!
He asked me what you were like.
594
00:37:10,830 --> 00:37:12,497
Oh, my... oh!
595
00:37:12,570 --> 00:37:14,577
If you're lying,
I'll beat the crap out of you.
596
00:37:14,626 --> 00:37:15,673
I'm not lying.
597
00:37:15,733 --> 00:37:18,013
Oh, my God!
What should I do?
598
00:37:18,077 --> 00:37:19,377
Should I go up to him?
599
00:37:19,413 --> 00:37:22,383
Should I say, "Hi, Jake, I'm Samantha"?
Oh, no. Maybe, I should let him come to me.
600
00:37:22,413 --> 00:37:24,106
This is not my department. I...
601
00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:26,480
But what if I decide to let him
come to me and he forgets?
602
00:37:26,543 --> 00:37:29,872
What if he changes his mind?
Then I'm totally screwed, right?
603
00:37:29,946 --> 00:37:31,839
Apparently so.
604
00:37:32,272 --> 00:37:34,832
What would you do
if you were me?
605
00:37:36,219 --> 00:37:38,035
I'm a gambling man by nature.
606
00:37:38,061 --> 00:37:41,375
And, um,...
I'd go for it.
607
00:37:42,038 --> 00:37:44,477
This is so strange.
But I think I will.
608
00:37:44,524 --> 00:37:46,430
Oh, you're the best.
609
00:37:49,221 --> 00:37:50,674
Wait, um...
610
00:37:50,874 --> 00:37:51,935
What?
611
00:37:52,001 --> 00:37:53,969
Do you know anything
about floppy disks?
612
00:37:54,037 --> 00:37:56,000
Um, we'll talk about this
on the bus, okay?
613
00:37:56,033 --> 00:37:58,703
Well, no. See, the thing is,
I've got kind of a problem.
614
00:37:58,743 --> 00:38:00,631
Floppy disks are pretty expensive.
And...
615
00:38:00,670 --> 00:38:02,756
see, the thing is,
I made a bet with my friends.
616
00:38:03,353 --> 00:38:04,959
The-The dipshits.
617
00:38:05,026 --> 00:38:06,253
Um,
618
00:38:06,759 --> 00:38:09,155
I bet them that
I'd do it with you.
619
00:38:09,612 --> 00:38:11,302
But, this was before
I knew you as a person
620
00:38:11,336 --> 00:38:13,678
I can get proof without
actually getting physical.
621
00:38:13,729 --> 00:38:15,132
How?
622
00:38:17,649 --> 00:38:19,696
Can I borrow your underpants
for ten minutes?
623
00:38:19,729 --> 00:38:21,689
♪ Hope you're feeling ♪
624
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:26,760
♪ Time ♪
625
00:38:30,569 --> 00:38:33,205
I think it's time to blow this thing off
and go to your house.
626
00:38:33,259 --> 00:38:34,212
Yeah?
627
00:38:34,311 --> 00:38:37,271
I told Tracy and Robin and those guys
to come to your parents' house, okay?
628
00:38:37,314 --> 00:38:39,337
I told them not to tell anybody.
629
00:38:39,424 --> 00:38:42,177
God, I love it when
your parents are out of town.
630
00:38:42,319 --> 00:38:43,735
I fantasize that I'm your wife,
631
00:38:43,775 --> 00:38:46,935
and we're like the richest,
most popular adults in town.
632
00:38:47,595 --> 00:38:50,149
I owe all my great
weekends to you.
633
00:38:51,995 --> 00:38:54,623
- What's your problem?
- What?
634
00:38:54,668 --> 00:38:57,024
You've been acting weird all night.
635
00:38:57,177 --> 00:38:58,478
Are you screwing around?
636
00:38:58,535 --> 00:39:01,024
Me?
Are you crazy?
637
00:39:01,104 --> 00:39:03,199
I don't know, Jake.
638
00:39:03,249 --> 00:39:04,939
I'm getting strange signals.
639
00:39:04,985 --> 00:39:08,819
Well, they're not coming from me.
Everything's fine. Don't have a cow.
640
00:39:08,865 --> 00:39:10,625
Okay.
641
00:39:10,776 --> 00:39:12,910
Just remember one thing.
642
00:39:13,283 --> 00:39:16,369
I can name 20 guys
who'd kill to love me.
643
00:39:16,536 --> 00:39:19,742
- Is that a threat?
- It's a fact, Jake.
644
00:39:20,620 --> 00:39:24,552
Come on. Before we get in a big,
wicked fight, let's get out of here, huh?
645
00:39:28,465 --> 00:39:31,321
Hi, Jake. I'm Samantha.
How's it going?
646
00:39:34,555 --> 00:39:36,454
You got a cigarette?
647
00:39:40,378 --> 00:39:42,350
Jake, this may sound
incredibly dumb,
648
00:39:42,398 --> 00:39:45,478
but I love you and I'll do
anything to make you love me.
649
00:39:47,029 --> 00:39:48,963
I love your shirt.
650
00:39:53,132 --> 00:39:55,250
Jake, you're not
gonna believe this,
651
00:39:55,286 --> 00:39:58,486
but I had this very bizarre dream
and you were in it.
652
00:40:02,310 --> 00:40:05,666
For heaven's sake!
Get in there and dance!
653
00:40:05,703 --> 00:40:07,196
- I can't. They won't like me!
- For the last time,...
654
00:40:07,223 --> 00:40:09,544
I'm not gonna tell you again!
Just act like a man!
655
00:40:09,591 --> 00:40:11,966
I want to go home!
I want to be with you guys!
656
00:40:25,088 --> 00:40:29,751
♪ You-ou are my desire ♪
657
00:40:30,624 --> 00:40:35,100
♪ You... ou... you are my desire ♪
658
00:40:36,599 --> 00:40:41,182
♪ You-ou are my desire ♪
659
00:40:41,571 --> 00:40:47,227
♪ Oh, baby, you, you,
you you are my desire ♪
660
00:40:48,240 --> 00:40:51,476
♪ Got to find you know
you're out there ♪
661
00:40:51,503 --> 00:40:52,810
♪ I got to ... ♪
662
00:40:52,883 --> 00:40:55,850
I can't believe I'm such a jerk.
663
00:40:56,338 --> 00:40:59,273
He smiles at me and
I don't say anything.
664
00:41:00,256 --> 00:41:03,853
And I can't believe
I gave my panties to a geek.
665
00:41:08,183 --> 00:41:10,447
- What year are you?
- Freshman.
666
00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:12,227
Give me a buck.
667
00:41:12,267 --> 00:41:13,960
Get in.
668
00:41:25,829 --> 00:41:28,516
Hey!
Shut up!
669
00:41:29,659 --> 00:41:31,462
- Bryce?
- Mmm-hmm.
670
00:41:31,534 --> 00:41:32,922
Ted?
671
00:41:33,602 --> 00:41:35,289
Go for it.
672
00:41:53,703 --> 00:41:56,616
Hey, uh...
Listen, uh...
673
00:41:57,089 --> 00:42:00,383
I want to thank you for,
uh, loaning me the donger.
674
00:42:03,753 --> 00:42:05,687
He's really bitching.
675
00:42:06,188 --> 00:42:09,361
That's okay.
You guys make a great couple.
676
00:42:11,210 --> 00:42:14,824
I never been so happy
in my whole life.
677
00:42:14,891 --> 00:42:16,444
You maniac!
678
00:42:18,183 --> 00:42:21,637
- Now I have a place to put my hand.
- Mmm.
679
00:42:21,771 --> 00:42:26,629
So basically, Jimmy,
my business is video game arcades,
680
00:42:27,240 --> 00:42:30,196
laundry, cigarette machines...
681
00:42:30,343 --> 00:42:32,009
and trucking.
682
00:42:32,089 --> 00:42:36,576
I dabble a little bit
in personal loans and politics.
683
00:42:40,670 --> 00:42:42,501
Very nice.
684
00:42:43,860 --> 00:42:48,354
I think that all that really matters
is that the kids are happy together.
685
00:42:48,601 --> 00:42:51,364
Just as long as
my beautiful boy remembers...
686
00:42:51,394 --> 00:42:54,984
that marrying this one means
he's out of the girl of the month club.
687
00:42:55,084 --> 00:42:58,040
Hey, wait a minute.
I can still look.
688
00:42:58,203 --> 00:43:01,154
Just can't touch.
Right?
689
00:43:01,311 --> 00:43:03,340
- Oh, sensitive, uh?
- Rudy?
690
00:43:06,849 --> 00:43:09,422
- Cheers.
- Right on.
691
00:43:11,223 --> 00:43:12,613
Ahh!
692
00:43:12,673 --> 00:43:13,819
You do shots?
693
00:43:13,859 --> 00:43:15,413
Come on, wolf it.
694
00:43:19,172 --> 00:43:20,772
Whoo!
695
00:43:31,341 --> 00:43:34,357
Uh, good night, Marlene.
See you later, Dong.
696
00:43:34,577 --> 00:43:37,140
Sammy, tell grandpa not to wait up.
697
00:43:37,387 --> 00:43:38,747
Let's go boogie.
698
00:43:38,860 --> 00:43:40,300
Sure.
699
00:43:42,361 --> 00:43:45,076
Donger's here for five hours
and he's got somebody.
700
00:43:45,107 --> 00:43:48,227
I live here my whole life
and I'm like a disease.
701
00:44:08,740 --> 00:44:11,543
♪ We're hanging out in Vinnie's car ♪
702
00:44:11,614 --> 00:44:14,344
♪ We like the really loud guitar ♪
703
00:44:14,417 --> 00:44:17,147
♪ Don't ever seem to get too far ♪
704
00:44:17,293 --> 00:44:20,087
♪ Spend all our money in a bar ♪
705
00:44:33,403 --> 00:44:34,933
Everybody,
706
00:44:35,184 --> 00:44:37,824
I'd like you to meet
my boyfriend Jake.
707
00:44:38,174 --> 00:44:41,424
Jake, this is... everybody.
708
00:44:41,550 --> 00:44:43,124
Take it off.
709
00:44:44,140 --> 00:44:45,468
All right.
710
00:44:45,561 --> 00:44:47,394
Whose is this?
711
00:44:47,768 --> 00:44:49,748
You're such a poop.
712
00:45:22,289 --> 00:45:24,781
- ♪ Farmer John ♪
- Woof!
713
00:45:25,388 --> 00:45:28,221
♪ I'm in love with your daughter ♪
714
00:45:30,727 --> 00:45:34,663
- Oh, no.
- Oh, easy, easy. Oh!
715
00:45:36,684 --> 00:45:38,264
Whoa!
716
00:45:48,607 --> 00:45:50,867
Shit, Ted, that's my mom.
I got to get home.
717
00:45:50,913 --> 00:45:53,433
Change your frequency, okay?
Don't be such a wimp!
718
00:45:59,662 --> 00:46:02,778
Take those ridiculous
things off, okay?
719
00:46:03,705 --> 00:46:05,485
Will you guys grow up?
720
00:46:05,752 --> 00:46:09,412
Ted, won't we get pounded
if we go to a senior party?
721
00:46:09,999 --> 00:46:13,622
Wease, we got $70, and
we got a pair of girl's underpants.
722
00:46:13,715 --> 00:46:15,841
We're safe as kittens, okay?
723
00:46:16,005 --> 00:46:18,854
This is a great social
opportunity for us.
724
00:46:19,115 --> 00:46:20,709
Come on!
725
00:46:31,788 --> 00:46:35,144
- Do not embarrass me, okay?
- For sure, we won't.
726
00:46:35,424 --> 00:46:38,198
- Will you fix your hair, Bryce?
- I already did.
727
00:46:38,961 --> 00:46:42,057
Wease,...
close your barn, all right?
728
00:46:45,197 --> 00:46:47,804
- And be polite to his parents.
- Okay. Great.
729
00:46:52,909 --> 00:46:57,798
Hey, come on in and
party hearty, dude persons.
730
00:47:01,910 --> 00:47:04,879
He's from out of town, okay?
He speaks English, right?
731
00:47:05,054 --> 00:47:07,713
- Don't be such faggots!
- Man, shut up.
732
00:47:07,853 --> 00:47:09,980
Kidding. Sorry.
733
00:47:11,883 --> 00:47:13,236
Think we're going to die?
734
00:47:13,283 --> 00:47:14,870
Definitely.
735
00:47:32,970 --> 00:47:34,924
Did you put the cat out?
736
00:47:35,096 --> 00:47:37,206
We don't have a cat.
737
00:47:37,518 --> 00:47:39,577
Come on, damn it.
Answer it.
738
00:47:45,067 --> 00:47:47,042
Mmm.
739
00:47:48,783 --> 00:47:50,814
Aw, eat me.
740
00:47:53,446 --> 00:47:55,228
Who is it?
741
00:47:56,696 --> 00:47:59,116
Well, what did they want?
742
00:48:00,802 --> 00:48:02,342
Sex.
743
00:48:07,210 --> 00:48:08,688
Whoa!
744
00:48:10,111 --> 00:48:11,642
Geek!
745
00:48:23,283 --> 00:48:24,849
Very nice!
746
00:48:24,903 --> 00:48:27,183
We're five minutes in...
747
00:48:27,333 --> 00:48:29,304
I'm at a loss.
748
00:48:31,827 --> 00:48:34,096
Real smooth, cliff.
749
00:48:42,225 --> 00:48:43,877
Ooh.
750
00:48:44,624 --> 00:48:46,897
I've never been out
with a boy before.
751
00:48:47,044 --> 00:48:48,890
Oh, me neither.
752
00:48:50,124 --> 00:48:51,531
Oh! Uh!
753
00:48:57,558 --> 00:48:59,330
Jake?
754
00:49:00,490 --> 00:49:02,828
Where are you, Jake?
755
00:49:03,239 --> 00:49:06,722
Jakey, have you
stopped loving me?
756
00:49:09,552 --> 00:49:11,643
Leave me alone.
757
00:49:22,452 --> 00:49:23,820
What?
758
00:49:25,011 --> 00:49:27,521
I'm sorry,
I don't do that.
759
00:49:27,584 --> 00:49:29,751
- Yes, you do.
- I know.
760
00:49:29,791 --> 00:49:33,144
- Come on.
- Trace. You guys.
761
00:49:33,536 --> 00:49:35,665
Would you help me, please?
762
00:49:35,812 --> 00:49:37,432
- Oh, shit!
- Come on, you guys.
763
00:49:37,466 --> 00:49:39,666
I'm your prom queen.
764
00:49:40,799 --> 00:49:42,755
Trace, you guys,
I'm serious.
765
00:49:42,802 --> 00:49:44,149
Come on. I need help.
766
00:49:44,175 --> 00:49:47,115
Okay.
I need help too.
767
00:49:47,338 --> 00:49:49,384
What is the problem, princess?
768
00:49:49,492 --> 00:49:51,138
Several things.
769
00:49:55,358 --> 00:49:58,492
Okay, we'll help you.
No-no problem. Just a minute.
770
00:49:58,526 --> 00:50:02,394
- Close your eyes.
- Don't go away, Caroline, baby.
771
00:50:07,403 --> 00:50:10,276
Hello?
Hello?
772
00:50:10,752 --> 00:50:14,492
Listen, I know you're there.
I can hear you breathing.
773
00:50:18,993 --> 00:50:20,327
Yes, hello, sir.
Um...
774
00:50:20,353 --> 00:50:23,653
Are you the little bugger
that's been calling up here all night
775
00:50:23,680 --> 00:50:25,183
and then hanging up?
776
00:50:25,349 --> 00:50:28,749
Would it be possible for you to tell me
if there is a Samantha Baker there?
777
00:50:28,796 --> 00:50:31,285
And if so, sir, may I
converse with her briefly?
778
00:50:31,376 --> 00:50:34,895
Yes, it is.
And no, you may not.
779
00:50:36,036 --> 00:50:38,067
Might I leave a message, sir?
780
00:50:39,468 --> 00:50:42,258
He wants to leave
a message for Sam.
781
00:50:42,512 --> 00:50:45,078
Here, give me that phone.
782
00:50:46,155 --> 00:50:48,232
Now, you listen to me, mister.
783
00:50:48,311 --> 00:50:52,291
God did not put me on this earth
to be awakened by filthy suggestions
784
00:50:52,325 --> 00:50:55,208
from a foul-mouthed
hooligan like you.
785
00:50:55,268 --> 00:50:58,521
And as for our granddaughter,
I'm sure she has more than enough sense
786
00:50:58,561 --> 00:51:00,480
to stay clear of
the likes of you!
787
00:51:00,596 --> 00:51:02,723
Now, good night and good-bye!
788
00:51:08,065 --> 00:51:09,798
That was great.
789
00:51:10,015 --> 00:51:12,461
Sam's lucky she has us, Howard.
790
00:51:12,541 --> 00:51:13,808
Yeah.
791
00:51:14,248 --> 00:51:18,141
Even if she doesn't...
appreciate us.
792
00:51:19,024 --> 00:51:22,670
- Do you promise you won't get mad?
- No, I love you.
793
00:51:22,787 --> 00:51:25,420
Okay, close your eyes.
794
00:51:26,282 --> 00:51:27,845
Scalpel.
795
00:51:28,318 --> 00:51:29,905
Scalpel.
796
00:51:37,602 --> 00:51:38,909
Oooh!
797
00:51:39,168 --> 00:51:40,489
My God.
798
00:51:44,184 --> 00:51:47,613
That was wonderful present of ...
799
00:51:47,754 --> 00:51:50,171
I don't know how
to thank you enough.
800
00:51:50,239 --> 00:51:52,473
- My pleasure.
- Oh.
801
00:52:05,870 --> 00:52:07,553
My God!
802
00:52:08,464 --> 00:52:09,533
Wow!
803
00:52:09,600 --> 00:52:12,846
- I hope they have insurance.
- The party's over.
804
00:53:15,291 --> 00:53:17,225
What a disaster!
805
00:53:42,161 --> 00:53:44,033
Huh-huh.
Huh!
806
00:53:44,147 --> 00:53:45,681
Jake!
807
00:53:47,189 --> 00:53:48,707
Sam.
808
00:53:49,768 --> 00:53:51,495
Sweetheart?
809
00:53:53,395 --> 00:53:54,548
Daddy?
810
00:53:54,808 --> 00:53:56,348
Hi, kiddo.
811
00:53:56,935 --> 00:53:58,985
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
812
00:53:59,065 --> 00:54:01,125
Everything's fine.
813
00:54:01,538 --> 00:54:04,158
I was just upstairs,
and I couldn't sleep.
814
00:54:06,910 --> 00:54:09,701
I feel like a real jerk, honey.
815
00:54:10,977 --> 00:54:12,911
We forgot your birthday.
816
00:54:16,050 --> 00:54:18,813
I bet you're really P.O.'d, huh?
817
00:54:19,088 --> 00:54:21,104
No, it's okay.
818
00:54:21,397 --> 00:54:24,083
I'm not really
all that upset anymore.
819
00:54:25,343 --> 00:54:29,696
This wedding is really turning
this entire house inside out.
820
00:54:30,022 --> 00:54:33,330
And I just came down to tell you
that we did remember.
821
00:54:34,696 --> 00:54:36,527
Thanks, dad.
822
00:54:37,392 --> 00:54:39,832
Happy Birthday.
823
00:54:50,199 --> 00:54:52,513
Is something else wrong?
824
00:54:53,658 --> 00:54:54,922
No.
Why?
825
00:54:54,991 --> 00:54:57,771
I don't know, I just get the feeling
that something's bothering you.
826
00:54:57,806 --> 00:55:00,404
Something other
than your birthday.
827
00:55:00,688 --> 00:55:02,562
No, I'm fine.
828
00:55:02,982 --> 00:55:04,729
Really.
829
00:55:08,617 --> 00:55:11,065
I think I know what it is.
830
00:55:13,523 --> 00:55:15,551
It has to do with a certain guy?
831
00:55:23,002 --> 00:55:25,169
I know, honey.
I know.
832
00:55:28,663 --> 00:55:32,224
We're all upset that
Ginny's marrying a bohunk.
833
00:55:37,653 --> 00:55:39,479
What's the matter?
834
00:55:40,991 --> 00:55:42,764
I meant Jake.
835
00:55:42,985 --> 00:55:44,546
Jake?
836
00:55:44,941 --> 00:55:47,261
Wait a minute. I thought
she said his name was Rudy.
837
00:55:47,301 --> 00:55:48,562
Forget it.
838
00:55:49,008 --> 00:55:51,161
Forget what?
Who's Jake?
839
00:55:53,515 --> 00:55:55,548
He's a boy, Daddy.
It's nothing.
840
00:55:55,595 --> 00:55:57,888
Okay?
Just forget it, please.
841
00:55:58,315 --> 00:56:00,831
Come on, Sam.
We're not communicating.
842
00:56:01,732 --> 00:56:04,571
It's extremely embarrassing, okay?
843
00:56:05,024 --> 00:56:06,763
What's embarrassing?
844
00:56:06,863 --> 00:56:10,861
Sitting in the dark with your dad,
telling him about your love life.
845
00:56:12,098 --> 00:56:14,667
I'm afraid you lost me again, Sam.
846
00:56:17,064 --> 00:56:18,770
Jake is a senior.
847
00:56:18,818 --> 00:56:21,188
And he's beautiful and perfect.
848
00:56:21,235 --> 00:56:24,221
I like him a real lot, and
he doesn't like me, okay?
849
00:56:24,327 --> 00:56:25,587
Oh.
850
00:56:26,972 --> 00:56:29,339
And he's got this incredible girlfriend.
851
00:56:29,379 --> 00:56:32,839
I'm just this ridiculous dork that's
following him around like a puppy.
852
00:56:32,965 --> 00:56:34,888
Why do you think you're a dork?
853
00:56:34,961 --> 00:56:36,641
I don't think you're a dork.
854
00:56:36,715 --> 00:56:38,562
I don't think mom thinks
you're a dork.
855
00:56:38,594 --> 00:56:41,657
- Mike thinks I'm a dork.
- Mike is a dork.
856
00:56:42,644 --> 00:56:44,324
But so am I.
857
00:56:44,422 --> 00:56:47,842
Well, if it's any consolation,
I love you.
858
00:56:48,095 --> 00:56:49,562
And if this guy can't see in you
859
00:56:49,609 --> 00:56:52,715
all the beautiful and
wonderful things that I see,...
860
00:56:52,939 --> 00:56:55,392
then he's got the problem.
861
00:56:55,468 --> 00:56:58,315
I know.
It just hurts.
862
00:56:58,802 --> 00:57:01,467
That's why they call them crushes.
863
00:57:01,577 --> 00:57:05,360
If they were easy,
they'd call them something else.
864
00:57:06,380 --> 00:57:07,683
Yeah, but if I were Ginny,
865
00:57:07,725 --> 00:57:09,964
I'd have this guy
crawling on his knees.
866
00:57:10,069 --> 00:57:12,837
Well, let me tell you
something about Ginny.
867
00:57:12,936 --> 00:57:14,976
Now, I love her
as much as I love you.
868
00:57:15,030 --> 00:57:17,230
But she's a different person.
869
00:57:17,523 --> 00:57:19,896
Sometimes, I worry about her.
870
00:57:20,154 --> 00:57:22,894
You know, when you're given
things kind of easily,...
871
00:57:22,954 --> 00:57:25,343
you don't always appreciate them.
872
00:57:25,530 --> 00:57:27,863
With you, I'm not worried.
873
00:57:28,070 --> 00:57:30,743
When it happens to you,
Samantha,...
874
00:57:30,830 --> 00:57:32,517
it'll be forever.
875
00:57:36,821 --> 00:57:39,508
Well, I don't think
I'll be able to sleep
876
00:57:39,548 --> 00:57:42,201
if I don't feel this little talk
has helped you.
877
00:57:42,256 --> 00:57:45,149
So, would you be
a sport and lie to me?
878
00:57:45,213 --> 00:57:47,456
Yeah, sure, Daddy.
879
00:57:47,809 --> 00:57:50,429
- Good night, sweetheart.
- Good night.
880
00:57:57,458 --> 00:57:59,575
Oh, one more thing, sweetheart.
881
00:58:00,208 --> 00:58:01,194
What?
882
00:58:01,243 --> 00:58:05,201
When you do find the right guy,
don't let him boss you around.
883
00:58:06,087 --> 00:58:09,853
Make sure he knows
you wear the pants in the family.
884
00:58:13,848 --> 00:58:15,541
These are really hers?
885
00:58:15,694 --> 00:58:16,728
Yeah.
886
00:58:16,821 --> 00:58:18,551
How did you get them?
887
00:58:18,664 --> 00:58:20,617
She gave them to me.
888
00:58:21,121 --> 00:58:22,221
Did you...?
889
00:58:22,495 --> 00:58:26,101
No! No, Jake.
She's crying for you.
890
00:58:26,174 --> 00:58:28,841
I told her you asked about her, right?
The girl freaked.
891
00:58:28,881 --> 00:58:30,297
She had a hissy.
892
00:58:30,384 --> 00:58:32,297
She thinks you're the cat's meow.
893
00:58:32,351 --> 00:58:33,697
- Really?
- Yeah.
894
00:58:33,731 --> 00:58:35,747
She came up to me
in the gym tonight.
895
00:58:35,814 --> 00:58:38,301
She looked at me
like I was a leper.
896
00:58:38,520 --> 00:58:40,648
Girls'll do that, Jake, you know.
897
00:58:40,716 --> 00:58:43,446
You see, they know guys are,
like, in perpetual heat, right?
898
00:58:43,518 --> 00:58:46,572
They know this shit.
And they enjoy pumping us up.
899
00:58:46,652 --> 00:58:49,082
It's pure power politics.
I'm telling you.
900
00:58:49,148 --> 00:58:51,175
I thought she hated my guts.
901
00:58:51,320 --> 00:58:54,595
Games, Jake.
Silly, torturous games.
902
00:58:54,628 --> 00:58:56,575
You know how many times
a week I go without lunch
903
00:58:56,602 --> 00:58:58,626
because some bitch
borrows my lunch money?
904
00:58:58,683 --> 00:59:01,692
You know, any halfway
decent girl can rob me blind!
905
00:59:01,753 --> 00:59:04,153
Because I'm too torqued up
to say no.
906
00:59:04,219 --> 00:59:06,399
It's heinous.
I'm telling you.
907
00:59:06,518 --> 00:59:08,685
You better not be dicking me around.
908
00:59:08,732 --> 00:59:11,132
It'd be a major downer to try
and get together with this girl
909
00:59:11,158 --> 00:59:13,425
and find out she really
does think I'm a slime.
910
00:59:13,574 --> 00:59:15,643
Jake, would I dick you?
911
00:59:16,029 --> 00:59:18,054
Let me put it to you this way.
912
00:59:18,646 --> 00:59:20,870
What happens to me
if I dick you?
913
00:59:21,103 --> 00:59:23,203
I'd kick your ass.
914
00:59:23,390 --> 00:59:25,906
Right.
So why would I lie?
915
00:59:26,376 --> 00:59:28,466
But, I feel compelled
to mention, Jake.
916
00:59:28,500 --> 00:59:31,365
I mean, if all you want
is a girl's piece of ass, I mean,...
917
00:59:31,433 --> 00:59:34,865
I'll either do it myself or
get someone bigger than me...
918
00:59:34,997 --> 00:59:36,960
to kick your ass.
919
00:59:37,647 --> 00:59:41,600
I mean, not many girls in contemporary
American society today...
920
00:59:41,701 --> 00:59:44,511
would give their underwear
to help a geek like me.
921
00:59:45,644 --> 00:59:48,224
I can get a piece of ass
anytime I want.
922
00:59:48,279 --> 00:59:51,587
Shit, I got Caroline in my bedroom
right now, passed out cold.
923
00:59:51,660 --> 00:59:55,223
I could violate her
ten different ways if I wanted to.
924
00:59:55,416 --> 00:59:58,256
- What are you waiting for?
- I don't know.
925
00:59:58,310 --> 01:00:01,160
She's beautiful and
she's built and all that.
926
01:00:01,373 --> 01:00:04,153
I'm just not interested anymore.
927
01:00:04,432 --> 01:00:06,187
Does that really matter, guy?
928
01:00:06,275 --> 01:00:07,761
Yeah, it matters.
929
01:00:07,807 --> 01:00:11,461
She's totally insensitive.
Look what she did to my house.
930
01:00:12,180 --> 01:00:14,447
She doesn't know shit about love.
931
01:00:14,487 --> 01:00:16,707
Only thing she cares about is partying.
932
01:00:16,771 --> 01:00:19,120
I want a serious girlfriend.
933
01:00:19,225 --> 01:00:22,765
Somebody I can love,
that's going to love me back.
934
01:00:24,085 --> 01:00:25,881
Is that psycho?
935
01:00:28,215 --> 01:00:30,048
That's beautiful, Jake.
936
01:00:30,104 --> 01:00:32,537
You know, I think a ton of guys
feel the same way as you do.
937
01:00:32,585 --> 01:00:33,480
Really?
938
01:00:33,506 --> 01:00:34,947
Yeah.
It's just they don't...
939
01:00:34,987 --> 01:00:36,774
they don't have the balls to admit it.
You know what I mean?
940
01:00:36,823 --> 01:00:39,234
I mean, they're just...
They're wimps.
941
01:00:39,681 --> 01:00:42,561
Samantha is, uh...
she's really special, you know?
942
01:00:42,654 --> 01:00:44,441
I'll make a deal with you.
943
01:00:44,571 --> 01:00:46,621
Let me keep these.
944
01:00:46,954 --> 01:00:49,014
I'll let you take Caroline home.
945
01:00:49,227 --> 01:00:51,050
But you got to make sure
she gets home.
946
01:00:51,077 --> 01:00:54,143
You can't leave her in some
parking lot somewhere. Okay?
947
01:00:55,463 --> 01:00:57,143
Jake, I'm only a freshman.
948
01:00:57,222 --> 01:01:00,202
So? She's so blitzed,
she won't know the difference.
949
01:01:00,589 --> 01:01:02,289
Jake, I don't have a car.
950
01:01:02,356 --> 01:01:03,822
You can take mine.
951
01:01:03,907 --> 01:01:06,384
Jake, I don't have a license.
952
01:01:06,657 --> 01:01:08,444
I trust you.
953
01:01:12,346 --> 01:01:14,749
Jake, I'd love to.
I can't.
954
01:01:15,029 --> 01:01:16,196
Want a pretzel?
955
01:01:16,229 --> 01:01:17,696
You sure?
956
01:01:17,916 --> 01:01:19,262
Positive.
957
01:01:21,064 --> 01:01:22,324
Ow!
958
01:01:31,546 --> 01:01:32,626
I got her.
959
01:01:32,674 --> 01:01:34,393
- You got her?
- Yeah.
960
01:01:38,713 --> 01:01:40,100
Yah!
961
01:01:42,941 --> 01:01:44,180
Mmm.
962
01:01:45,060 --> 01:01:46,559
Is this, uh, your car, Jake?
963
01:01:46,585 --> 01:01:50,185
No, this is my dad's car.
You said you couldn't drive a stick.
964
01:01:50,598 --> 01:01:52,512
This is a mother...
965
01:01:53,114 --> 01:01:54,958
This is a Rolls-Royce, Jake.
966
01:01:55,310 --> 01:01:58,178
- So?
- So! So.
967
01:01:58,334 --> 01:02:00,734
I heard the grill alone
cost five grand on this.
968
01:02:01,159 --> 01:02:03,346
Five grand!
You have five grand?
969
01:02:03,413 --> 01:02:04,906
I don't have five grand.
970
01:02:04,979 --> 01:02:07,432
- Then don't hit anything.
- Ahh, don't hit anything.
971
01:02:07,459 --> 01:02:09,362
Do you want to do this or not?
972
01:02:09,557 --> 01:02:11,021
No.
973
01:02:14,114 --> 01:02:17,267
Who the hell?
Who does he...
974
01:02:39,367 --> 01:02:42,064
Mm-hmm.
Mmm.
975
01:02:43,811 --> 01:02:46,670
- Who's he?
- That's me.
976
01:02:53,942 --> 01:02:56,502
- Who are you?
- I'm him.
977
01:03:02,506 --> 01:03:04,113
Oh.
Uh.
978
01:03:04,600 --> 01:03:06,107
Okay.
979
01:03:06,473 --> 01:03:08,366
She's totally gone.
Have fun.
980
01:03:08,433 --> 01:03:10,560
Thanks.
Yeah.
981
01:03:16,157 --> 01:03:18,093
Jake, is your dad a big man?
Or...
982
01:03:18,194 --> 01:03:19,654
About 6'4".
983
01:03:19,740 --> 01:03:21,133
Very nice.
984
01:03:24,752 --> 01:03:26,106
Hold.
985
01:03:26,320 --> 01:03:27,533
Ohh.
986
01:03:28,273 --> 01:03:29,546
Oh.
987
01:03:31,626 --> 01:03:33,149
Hold.
988
01:03:34,228 --> 01:03:35,716
Easy.
989
01:03:37,022 --> 01:03:38,522
Easy.
990
01:03:56,346 --> 01:03:58,706
♪ Hey, sucker ♪
991
01:03:59,337 --> 01:04:02,163
♪ What the hell's got into you ♪
992
01:04:04,619 --> 01:04:06,484
♪ Hey, sucker ♪
993
01:04:10,031 --> 01:04:14,810
Oh, sexy girlfriend.
994
01:04:15,503 --> 01:04:18,222
Banzai!
Oh.
995
01:05:02,974 --> 01:05:05,161
- Think they liked us?
- Definitely.
996
01:05:05,194 --> 01:05:07,308
Whoo!
Go, darling geek!
997
01:05:07,334 --> 01:05:08,741
Uh, could we turn
that music down a little bit?
998
01:05:08,774 --> 01:05:09,834
I'm a first-time driver.
999
01:05:09,874 --> 01:05:11,672
I really, I really need to concentrate.
1000
01:05:11,740 --> 01:05:13,209
Excuse me!
1001
01:05:13,370 --> 01:05:14,669
Stop that.
1002
01:05:14,923 --> 01:05:17,509
Looks like rain.
Better put the top up!
1003
01:05:17,556 --> 01:05:18,476
Will you stop that?
1004
01:05:18,509 --> 01:05:20,576
You can get us in a lot
of trouble doing that!
1005
01:05:20,682 --> 01:05:22,485
This is a car!
1006
01:05:23,771 --> 01:05:26,595
It hasn't got Triple-A on it arrangement.
1007
01:05:26,740 --> 01:05:29,463
Chugalug, Pooh Bear.
1008
01:05:31,018 --> 01:05:33,878
I can't believe you're so popular,
acting like this.
1009
01:05:35,663 --> 01:05:36,958
Relax!
1010
01:05:37,491 --> 01:05:39,131
Hello?
1011
01:05:39,279 --> 01:05:41,547
All right. I don't know.
I'll have to look.
1012
01:05:41,607 --> 01:05:43,781
Mr. Ryan, are you in here?
1013
01:05:43,827 --> 01:05:45,241
- He's not.
- Where are you?
1014
01:05:45,274 --> 01:05:46,645
Mr. Ryan's not in right now.
1015
01:05:46,705 --> 01:05:49,166
My Christmas present to you!
1016
01:05:49,359 --> 01:05:52,302
- Thank you.
- No, you're gonna see right now.
1017
01:05:52,355 --> 01:05:54,749
See?
See?
1018
01:05:55,623 --> 01:05:57,546
Thank you.
1019
01:05:58,866 --> 01:06:01,986
Now we're both on the pill!
1020
01:06:07,208 --> 01:06:09,381
You gave me a birth control pill?
1021
01:06:09,481 --> 01:06:11,655
You have any idea what
that'll do to a guy my age?
1022
01:06:11,733 --> 01:06:14,856
I know exactly what it'll
do to a girl my age.
1023
01:06:14,889 --> 01:06:15,896
Just climb in the car!
1024
01:06:15,936 --> 01:06:16,962
- It makes okay
- Shit.
1025
01:06:17,002 --> 01:06:19,629
to be really super careless.
1026
01:06:19,828 --> 01:06:21,608
Wait, wait!
1027
01:06:24,733 --> 01:06:26,324
Ha-ha!
1028
01:06:27,139 --> 01:06:28,729
Look, we're not going any further
1029
01:06:28,756 --> 01:06:30,888
until you stop
these childish antics, Caroline.
1030
01:06:30,952 --> 01:06:33,995
- Don't be such a poop.
- Huh.
1031
01:06:34,642 --> 01:06:36,167
On second thought.
1032
01:06:36,291 --> 01:06:38,120
I love you.
1033
01:06:42,317 --> 01:06:44,649
This is getting good.
1034
01:06:48,259 --> 01:06:49,760
Wow!
1035
01:07:08,768 --> 01:07:11,124
Ted, what the hell
are you doing?
1036
01:07:11,161 --> 01:07:13,341
Are those humongous jocks back?
1037
01:07:14,951 --> 01:07:18,114
- Do you have any film in your camera?
- What?
1038
01:07:18,793 --> 01:07:21,747
Take those ridiculous things off.
1039
01:07:22,872 --> 01:07:25,470
- Do you have any film in your camera?
- Sure.
1040
01:07:25,566 --> 01:07:28,248
Okay. You guys go get it
and bring it outside, okay?
1041
01:07:28,281 --> 01:07:29,767
- Right out front.
- What for?
1042
01:07:29,820 --> 01:07:32,914
Look, just get it and
come on out front, okay?
1043
01:07:33,013 --> 01:07:35,633
- U.F.O.?
- It's better.
1044
01:07:36,046 --> 01:07:38,519
- Extraterrestrial?
- It's better! All right?
1045
01:07:38,567 --> 01:07:40,263
Just get it and come on outside.
1046
01:07:40,487 --> 01:07:42,421
Female extraterrestrial?
1047
01:07:43,171 --> 01:07:45,237
It's better than... shh!
1048
01:07:45,527 --> 01:07:47,857
Better than female
extraterrestrial?
1049
01:07:48,036 --> 01:07:51,097
- How do you tell if it's a female?
- 'Cause it's got tits.
1050
01:07:51,197 --> 01:07:53,259
What makes them different
than regular tits?
1051
01:07:53,307 --> 01:07:55,086
They got four.
1052
01:07:55,486 --> 01:07:57,620
Just get the camera.
It's in the closet.
1053
01:07:57,785 --> 01:08:00,422
Don't go in the closet.
1054
01:08:03,910 --> 01:08:06,541
Such assholes.
I can't believe it.
1055
01:08:07,827 --> 01:08:10,236
What does it sound like?
You should check that out.
1056
01:08:10,263 --> 01:08:12,350
- Why do you always have to argue?
- I'm not arguing.
1057
01:08:12,377 --> 01:08:13,643
- Yes, you are.
- I am not!
1058
01:08:13,670 --> 01:08:14,723
- Yes, you are.
- I am not!
1059
01:08:14,756 --> 01:08:16,719
Every time I do something,
you always bitch.
1060
01:08:16,767 --> 01:08:18,023
Bitch is a female dog.
1061
01:08:18,092 --> 01:08:19,492
I am not even.
1062
01:08:19,532 --> 01:08:21,772
What's that supposed to mean?
1063
01:08:22,356 --> 01:08:24,626
- Shit!
- Shoot!
1064
01:08:41,361 --> 01:08:43,824
Ted, that's a Rolls-Royce.
1065
01:08:43,864 --> 01:08:48,057
- Ted, that's the prom queen.
- You got two girls in one night.
1066
01:08:48,355 --> 01:08:51,167
- I told you dudes I was hot.
- Hot? You're a legend!
1067
01:08:51,212 --> 01:08:52,739
Will you shut up?
1068
01:08:52,779 --> 01:08:55,159
People around here work,
all right?
1069
01:08:55,371 --> 01:08:56,397
Will you hurry it up?
1070
01:08:56,445 --> 01:08:58,605
I'm breaking, like,
30 major laws here. Come on.
1071
01:08:58,675 --> 01:09:02,121
You know, Ted,
nobody's gonna believe you.
1072
01:09:02,297 --> 01:09:03,558
No way.
1073
01:09:05,485 --> 01:09:07,520
That, my friends,...
1074
01:09:07,566 --> 01:09:10,373
is what the pictures are for.
Okay?
1075
01:09:10,731 --> 01:09:12,184
Crap!
1076
01:09:24,151 --> 01:09:26,647
- Just get that thing there.
- I got it.
1077
01:09:26,720 --> 01:09:29,890
- Are you guys ready?
- Wait. Hold on a second.
1078
01:09:31,043 --> 01:09:32,443
Put it down just a bit.
1079
01:09:32,476 --> 01:09:34,303
You guys know what
you're doing here or what?
1080
01:09:34,330 --> 01:09:35,946
All right, just a minute.
1081
01:09:36,106 --> 01:09:38,479
- How's this look?
- Very nice.
1082
01:09:39,016 --> 01:09:40,849
Wait a minute.
He'll know black and white.
1083
01:09:40,923 --> 01:09:43,809
It would capture the moment.
So nicely, it would "Oooh".
1084
01:09:43,989 --> 01:09:46,175
Will you take the picture already?
1085
01:09:46,280 --> 01:09:48,903
You're pissing me off.
I'm telling you.
1086
01:09:51,392 --> 01:09:55,350
- Smile, pumpkin.
- What? Oh! Pictures!
1087
01:09:55,489 --> 01:09:57,571
Cheers!
1088
01:10:31,474 --> 01:10:32,724
Marlene, no.
1089
01:10:32,783 --> 01:10:34,876
Marlene!
Ohh!
1090
01:10:35,917 --> 01:10:37,644
Chill out, boy.
1091
01:10:37,750 --> 01:10:39,537
Mike, honey.
Go get dressed.
1092
01:10:39,590 --> 01:10:42,670
I can't believe it.
Ginny's not in the shower.
1093
01:10:42,883 --> 01:10:44,790
I wouldn't go in there
if I were you.
1094
01:10:44,833 --> 01:10:47,060
Grandpa Fred was in there
for a half an hour.
1095
01:10:47,141 --> 01:10:49,444
- It's totally polluted.
- Get dressed.
1096
01:10:49,510 --> 01:10:51,517
It's your nose.
1097
01:10:55,913 --> 01:10:57,566
They never listen.
1098
01:10:57,780 --> 01:11:00,040
W-What was he wearing?
1099
01:11:00,120 --> 01:11:01,566
Well, he would have...
see,...
1100
01:11:01,609 --> 01:11:06,472
He-He was wearing a red
argyle sweater and tan trousers.
1101
01:11:06,605 --> 01:11:08,725
And-And red shoes.
1102
01:11:08,959 --> 01:11:10,199
Hmm?
1103
01:11:10,366 --> 01:11:12,326
No, he's not retarded.
1104
01:11:12,392 --> 01:11:14,632
Now, what can I do to help?
1105
01:11:14,659 --> 01:11:16,566
Well, you could finish the French toast.
1106
01:11:16,619 --> 01:11:17,855
Good.
1107
01:11:19,282 --> 01:11:22,075
I'll, uh...
I'll just open the doughnuts.
1108
01:11:22,143 --> 01:11:23,357
Good thinking.
1109
01:11:23,398 --> 01:11:26,037
Oops!
Don't want to lose the nails.
1110
01:11:31,587 --> 01:11:34,301
I'll just wait until
I hear from you then.
1111
01:11:34,395 --> 01:11:36,994
Voila!
Breakfast is ready.
1112
01:11:38,666 --> 01:11:40,964
Oh, Sam.
1113
01:11:41,616 --> 01:11:45,143
Sam, I am so sorry
about your birthday.
1114
01:11:45,822 --> 01:11:48,572
It's okay.
I'll recover.
1115
01:11:48,858 --> 01:11:51,005
It's important to you.
1116
01:11:51,665 --> 01:11:56,121
And yesterday morning,
you were trying to tell me.
1117
01:11:56,570 --> 01:11:58,888
It's okay, Mom.
1118
01:11:58,987 --> 01:12:01,012
These things sometimes happen.
1119
01:12:01,135 --> 01:12:02,292
Oh!
1120
01:12:02,379 --> 01:12:05,112
Honey,
I just feel miserable.
1121
01:12:05,219 --> 01:12:06,962
You'll feel better.
1122
01:12:07,097 --> 01:12:08,835
Who died?
1123
01:12:09,862 --> 01:12:11,369
Uh...
1124
01:12:11,705 --> 01:12:14,732
Is there something
you want to say to your sister?
1125
01:12:14,962 --> 01:12:17,092
What?
Are you kidding?
1126
01:12:17,132 --> 01:12:18,878
Where should I start?
1127
01:12:19,018 --> 01:12:21,194
I mean about her birthday.
1128
01:12:21,457 --> 01:12:24,501
It was yesterday.
We all forgot.
1129
01:12:25,334 --> 01:12:26,901
Classic.
1130
01:12:33,219 --> 01:12:36,419
Deep down,
he's really sorry.
1131
01:12:39,508 --> 01:12:41,852
- No, he's not.
- No, he's not.
1132
01:12:42,912 --> 01:12:46,155
I have to go to this wedding and
look like miss pretty princess
1133
01:12:46,202 --> 01:12:48,102
in this dipshit's bridesmaid's dress.
1134
01:12:48,148 --> 01:12:51,488
I don't have one-tenth of
the bod to fill the stupid bust up.
1135
01:12:51,563 --> 01:12:54,556
So what? Should I just waste
myself and spare the agony?
1136
01:12:54,716 --> 01:12:56,456
I was gonna tell you something,
but,...
1137
01:12:56,503 --> 01:12:58,439
maybe, I shouldn't.
It's pretty bad.
1138
01:12:58,506 --> 01:13:01,973
You may as well.
Nothing could shock me anymore.
1139
01:13:03,099 --> 01:13:04,406
Last night at the dance,
1140
01:13:04,432 --> 01:13:07,285
my little brother paid a buck
to see your underwear.
1141
01:13:09,160 --> 01:13:10,180
Jesus!
1142
01:13:10,240 --> 01:13:13,236
I hate that rock 'n' roll rubbish!
1143
01:13:13,283 --> 01:13:16,426
Well, I'm afraid
it's here to stay, Howie.
1144
01:13:20,672 --> 01:13:22,525
Sam, you're dragging
your dress, honey.
1145
01:13:22,566 --> 01:13:23,779
Pick it up.
1146
01:13:23,931 --> 01:13:25,018
Come on, Ginny.
1147
01:13:25,065 --> 01:13:27,741
- Hurry up, Susie.
- Why is she so slow?
1148
01:13:27,807 --> 01:13:29,987
Do not fuss at your sister.
It's her wedding day.
1149
01:13:30,048 --> 01:13:31,055
Big deal.
1150
01:13:31,105 --> 01:13:33,441
All right, is everybody in?
1151
01:13:33,561 --> 01:13:36,208
Oh, dear.
Are you all right, Ginny?
1152
01:13:48,860 --> 01:13:50,849
Get in the car, please.
We're late already.
1153
01:13:54,430 --> 01:13:57,403
Dorothy! Dorothy!
Would you get out of this?
1154
01:13:59,367 --> 01:14:01,457
Helen, will you get in the car?
1155
01:14:01,524 --> 01:14:03,911
I don't know what
they're fussing about.
1156
01:14:04,105 --> 01:14:05,608
Helen, get in the car!
1157
01:14:05,689 --> 01:14:06,989
Everybody in!
1158
01:14:18,620 --> 01:14:20,520
Hey, Howard, there's
your chinaman.
1159
01:14:20,588 --> 01:14:22,994
Thanks, Fred. Bye, dong.
1160
01:14:23,656 --> 01:14:24,896
What the...
1161
01:14:24,969 --> 01:14:26,887
what's he doing
on the ground there?
1162
01:14:26,961 --> 01:14:29,191
What's happened?
What's happened?
1163
01:14:29,263 --> 01:14:31,084
Hold a mirror in front of his mouth.
1164
01:14:31,118 --> 01:14:33,231
Howard!
He's dead!
1165
01:14:33,291 --> 01:14:36,303
Aw, shit. I pay seven grand
for a wedding, I'll never see it!
1166
01:14:36,370 --> 01:14:39,669
Oh, watch your language,
Mr. dirty mouth.
1167
01:14:40,774 --> 01:14:44,177
- Oh, thank God, he is still warm.
- Oh, good.
1168
01:14:44,290 --> 01:14:47,937
- Here, I-I'll help you.
- Roll him over.
1169
01:14:49,914 --> 01:14:52,680
Ugh. Canine cologne.
1170
01:14:52,753 --> 01:14:55,680
Oh, no more yankie my wankie.
1171
01:14:55,753 --> 01:14:58,489
The donger need food!
1172
01:15:00,489 --> 01:15:03,594
Hell, he-he's three sheets to the wind!
1173
01:15:04,195 --> 01:15:07,895
- He's drunk as a skunk!
- Oh, why don't you shut up, Fred. Shut up.
1174
01:15:07,988 --> 01:15:10,155
- Dong!
- Mmm.
1175
01:15:11,614 --> 01:15:13,181
Dong.
1176
01:15:13,788 --> 01:15:17,314
Dong, grandpa is talking to you.
1177
01:15:18,565 --> 01:15:20,178
Dong!
1178
01:15:20,495 --> 01:15:23,648
Where is my automobile?
1179
01:15:23,820 --> 01:15:26,355
- Automobile?
- Hmm.
1180
01:15:35,609 --> 01:15:37,092
Lake.
1181
01:15:37,378 --> 01:15:39,605
- Big lake.
- Ohh!
1182
01:15:40,405 --> 01:15:43,739
- Why, you little scuzzbag!
- Ow!
1183
01:15:45,606 --> 01:15:48,880
Oh, my.
Is everything all right?
1184
01:15:48,953 --> 01:15:51,740
I was afraid you'd
had an accident.
1185
01:15:52,392 --> 01:15:54,462
I wish.
1186
01:15:54,749 --> 01:15:57,375
Her monthly bill came early.
1187
01:15:59,499 --> 01:16:01,144
Well, she's fine.
1188
01:16:01,222 --> 01:16:03,247
Uh, she just took
a muscle relaxer.
1189
01:16:03,297 --> 01:16:05,007
Try four.
1190
01:16:05,566 --> 01:16:07,920
- You didn't.
- Mother!
1191
01:16:26,969 --> 01:16:28,749
Damn, Mama!
I've got my headgear on.
1192
01:16:28,796 --> 01:16:30,452
Will you wake up?
1193
01:16:32,179 --> 01:16:33,952
Where the hell am I?
1194
01:16:34,698 --> 01:16:36,858
I'll, uh, tell you where you are.
1195
01:16:36,932 --> 01:16:38,712
Just tell me who you are.
1196
01:16:40,277 --> 01:16:41,691
Farmer Ted.
1197
01:16:42,058 --> 01:16:45,351
You're in the parking lot
across the street from my church.
1198
01:16:47,047 --> 01:16:48,771
You own a church?
1199
01:16:54,081 --> 01:16:55,598
What happened?
1200
01:16:55,685 --> 01:16:57,505
I have no idea.
1201
01:17:02,122 --> 01:17:04,283
Did-Did I do that to your hair?
1202
01:17:05,680 --> 01:17:07,807
At this point,
anything is possible.
1203
01:17:11,070 --> 01:17:12,404
Um,...
1204
01:17:15,248 --> 01:17:17,037
Did, um...
1205
01:17:19,126 --> 01:17:21,396
- Did we, uh...
- Yeah.
1206
01:17:22,323 --> 01:17:24,162
I'm pretty sure.
1207
01:17:26,607 --> 01:17:29,746
Um, excuse me,
but do you um...
1208
01:17:30,284 --> 01:17:33,366
Do you know if, um...
Did I-Did I enjoy it?
1209
01:17:35,164 --> 01:17:36,773
Am I nuts?
Of course I enjoyed it.
1210
01:17:36,831 --> 01:17:40,218
I mean, um... what I meant...
what I meant was, uh,...
1211
01:17:40,284 --> 01:17:41,824
Did you?
1212
01:17:43,410 --> 01:17:45,009
Hmm?
1213
01:17:46,349 --> 01:17:49,409
You know, I have
this weird feeling I did.
1214
01:17:58,973 --> 01:18:01,649
Here, Ginny.
Drink this.
1215
01:18:01,942 --> 01:18:03,523
Come on.
1216
01:18:05,296 --> 01:18:06,763
Here.
1217
01:18:11,138 --> 01:18:12,871
Wow.
1218
01:18:13,073 --> 01:18:15,504
- Do I feel funky!
- Uh-huh.
1219
01:18:15,584 --> 01:18:17,091
Oh, God!
1220
01:18:35,552 --> 01:18:38,312
Okay, I'm coming.
1221
01:18:39,647 --> 01:18:43,606
Hello?
Geez, this place is so confusing.
1222
01:18:45,111 --> 01:18:46,738
Okay.
1223
01:18:56,030 --> 01:18:58,843
Go away!
I call F.I.B.! I call police!
1224
01:18:58,910 --> 01:19:00,903
- Go away!
- Open the door.
1225
01:19:00,994 --> 01:19:03,697
- No way, Jose!
- Open the door.
1226
01:19:03,771 --> 01:19:07,571
- You beat up my face!
- You grabbed my nuts.
1227
01:19:10,951 --> 01:19:13,511
- Is that you?
- Yeah. That me.
1228
01:19:15,402 --> 01:19:17,336
Oh, I'm sorry.
1229
01:19:17,898 --> 01:19:22,328
I thought you my new...
new-style American girlfriend.
1230
01:19:22,368 --> 01:19:24,208
Forget it, man.
Just get Samantha, all right?
1231
01:19:24,258 --> 01:19:25,401
She not here.
1232
01:19:25,528 --> 01:19:27,188
Don't jerk me around, man.
Where is she?
1233
01:19:27,301 --> 01:19:29,161
- She got married.
- What?
1234
01:19:29,301 --> 01:19:33,541
She at the church.
She getting married to oily bohunk.
1235
01:19:33,744 --> 01:19:35,725
- Married?
- Married.
1236
01:19:35,803 --> 01:19:38,981
- Married?
- Yeah. Married.
1237
01:19:42,145 --> 01:19:43,543
Married?
1238
01:19:43,611 --> 01:19:46,072
Married!
Geez.
1239
01:19:53,490 --> 01:19:55,550
Are you gonna be all right, sweetie?
1240
01:19:55,683 --> 01:19:58,943
It's going to be a piece of cake, Bren.
1241
01:20:01,632 --> 01:20:04,865
Um, Ginny.
I'm really happy for you.
1242
01:20:05,382 --> 01:20:08,408
I'm sorry for being
kind of a jerk lately.
1243
01:20:09,463 --> 01:20:11,863
That's really lovely, Sam.
1244
01:20:12,106 --> 01:20:14,366
I know you'll have
a great marriage.
1245
01:20:19,509 --> 01:20:21,336
Ginny!
1246
01:20:24,795 --> 01:20:27,581
- Holy shit!
- She just had a cramp.
1247
01:20:27,888 --> 01:20:30,228
I don't care what she's got!
Look at her!
1248
01:20:30,328 --> 01:20:32,208
Will you please be quiet?
1249
01:20:32,261 --> 01:20:35,677
We don't want to announce to everyone
that she has her period!
1250
01:20:35,724 --> 01:20:37,456
I guess those guys who
thought we had to get married
1251
01:20:37,490 --> 01:20:39,803
feel pretty stupid,
right about now, huh, padre?
1252
01:20:50,280 --> 01:20:53,813
♪ Here comes the bride ♪
1253
01:20:54,060 --> 01:20:57,647
♪ Big, fat and wide ♪
1254
01:21:08,906 --> 01:21:11,030
Loved the teapot.
1255
01:21:14,954 --> 01:21:16,757
Excuse me.
1256
01:21:20,207 --> 01:21:22,590
Could you move over?
1257
01:21:22,785 --> 01:21:25,075
- Oh!
- Gosh! She's all drunk.
1258
01:21:25,808 --> 01:21:27,818
- You okay? You all right?
- I got to rest.
1259
01:21:27,871 --> 01:21:30,391
- Come on. Here we go.
- Greet the family. What's the matter?
1260
01:21:30,444 --> 01:21:32,493
Here comes the bride.
1261
01:21:33,166 --> 01:21:34,558
Oh!
1262
01:21:36,030 --> 01:21:37,503
Hep, hep!
1263
01:21:38,263 --> 01:21:39,596
Come on.
1264
01:21:44,517 --> 01:21:46,153
Sorry.
1265
01:21:46,393 --> 01:21:49,233
- Shoot!
- I got it. I got it!
1266
01:21:53,681 --> 01:21:55,160
Hi.
1267
01:21:55,669 --> 01:21:57,848
I know you.
1268
01:21:59,126 --> 01:22:02,095
I can't see with this thing on.
1269
01:22:05,152 --> 01:22:07,782
- ♪ Boom, bah-boom ♪
- I never went out with a freshman.
1270
01:22:07,835 --> 01:22:10,935
- ♪ Bah-boom, bah-boom ♪
- Not even when I was a freshman.
1271
01:22:11,774 --> 01:22:13,394
Me either.
1272
01:22:13,671 --> 01:22:15,081
You were pretty crazy.
1273
01:22:15,195 --> 01:22:17,365
- ♪ Bah, bah, bah-boom ♪
- I was?
1274
01:22:17,445 --> 01:22:18,785
Yeah.
1275
01:22:19,805 --> 01:22:21,538
You know what I like best?
1276
01:22:21,731 --> 01:22:23,931
- My clean, close shave?
- No.
1277
01:22:24,004 --> 01:22:27,964
- ♪ Clean, close shave, ahh ♪
- Waking up in your arms.
1278
01:22:28,051 --> 01:22:31,424
- ♪ Ah ♪
- These things?
1279
01:22:32,977 --> 01:22:34,925
♪ Boom, boom-boom, boom ♪
1280
01:22:34,985 --> 01:22:37,778
- ♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh♪
- Shit.
1281
01:22:37,892 --> 01:22:39,381
- Mmm?
- Jake.
1282
01:22:39,532 --> 01:22:40,941
Jake.
1283
01:22:43,276 --> 01:22:45,065
Holy shit.
1284
01:22:51,211 --> 01:22:53,947
- Stay here, okay?
- Oh, my God.
1285
01:22:59,504 --> 01:23:01,068
I'm dead.
1286
01:23:10,704 --> 01:23:12,815
- Hello?
- Ted. You never called us back.
1287
01:23:12,895 --> 01:23:14,308
What happened?
1288
01:23:14,375 --> 01:23:16,362
Look, Wease. I told you
not to call me here.
1289
01:23:16,422 --> 01:23:18,855
Ted, we're dying.
What happened?
1290
01:23:18,958 --> 01:23:20,435
You want to know what happened?
1291
01:23:20,482 --> 01:23:22,329
- Buy the book.
- Ted...
1292
01:23:29,695 --> 01:23:32,502
I'm really sorry about getting
you mixed up with that guy.
1293
01:23:32,602 --> 01:23:34,428
Oh, it's okay.
1294
01:23:34,614 --> 01:23:36,470
He wasn't too terrible.
1295
01:23:36,690 --> 01:23:38,290
Weird?
1296
01:23:40,726 --> 01:23:42,857
I'm really sorry
about last night.
1297
01:23:43,008 --> 01:23:44,671
The party.
1298
01:23:45,465 --> 01:23:47,397
Lots of things.
1299
01:23:51,031 --> 01:23:54,725
You know, neither one
of us is going to die...
1300
01:23:55,405 --> 01:23:57,485
If it doesn't happen for us.
1301
01:23:58,118 --> 01:23:59,887
That's true.
1302
01:24:00,041 --> 01:24:02,153
I just don't know right now.
1303
01:24:02,447 --> 01:24:04,937
But I'm covered, okay?
I...I won't get hurt.
1304
01:24:06,833 --> 01:24:08,255
Sure.
1305
01:24:10,897 --> 01:24:12,831
I'll leave it up to you.
1306
01:24:14,180 --> 01:24:15,764
Fine.
1307
01:25:00,052 --> 01:25:01,476
Oh, my God!
1308
01:25:01,816 --> 01:25:03,489
Her veil!
1309
01:25:31,558 --> 01:25:33,568
Come on, honey.
1310
01:25:35,321 --> 01:25:36,727
- Honey.
- Good-bye!
1311
01:25:36,797 --> 01:25:39,322
Come on.
Here we go.
1312
01:25:39,399 --> 01:25:41,882
Get her in the back seat, Rudy!
1313
01:25:42,667 --> 01:25:44,775
Bon voyage!
1314
01:25:46,969 --> 01:25:48,874
- See you later.
- Bye!
1315
01:25:48,942 --> 01:25:51,196
- Good-bye!
- So long, kids!
1316
01:25:51,483 --> 01:25:54,156
Whoa!
Ohh!
1317
01:26:05,559 --> 01:26:07,102
Oh, hi.
1318
01:26:07,176 --> 01:26:09,476
Uh, my sister forgot her veil.
1319
01:26:09,609 --> 01:26:12,527
I know she wouldn't want anything
to happen to it. She's, um...
1320
01:26:12,599 --> 01:26:15,909
- She's a little out of it.
- Just a little bit.
1321
01:26:15,962 --> 01:26:18,823
Yeah. Uh,...
well, excuse me. Um...
1322
01:26:18,849 --> 01:26:20,119
Everybody's waiting for me.
1323
01:26:20,159 --> 01:26:22,332
I want to make sure
I see my sister leave.
1324
01:26:22,432 --> 01:26:25,285
- Good-bye.
- Bye.
1325
01:26:26,000 --> 01:26:28,043
Oh, I need a drink.
1326
01:26:58,772 --> 01:27:01,855
- ♪ If you were here I could deceive... ♪
- Me?
1327
01:27:01,914 --> 01:27:04,035
- Yeah, you.
♪ you ♪
1328
01:27:06,986 --> 01:27:11,316
♪ If you were here
you would believe ♪
1329
01:27:14,911 --> 01:27:17,471
♪ But would you suspect ♪
1330
01:27:17,577 --> 01:27:18,477
- Hi.
- Hi.
1331
01:27:18,557 --> 01:27:20,511
- Hi.
- Hi.
1332
01:27:23,870 --> 01:27:25,613
What are you doing here?
1333
01:27:25,753 --> 01:27:27,526
I heard you were here.
1334
01:27:28,128 --> 01:27:30,253
You came here for me?
1335
01:27:30,783 --> 01:27:33,192
Is that okay?
1336
01:27:33,566 --> 01:27:35,412
Yeah, it's okay.
1337
01:27:35,665 --> 01:27:38,354
Do you have to go
to the reception now?
1338
01:27:38,645 --> 01:27:40,633
I'm supposed to.
1339
01:27:41,528 --> 01:27:43,193
Can I call you later?
1340
01:27:43,260 --> 01:27:44,613
Sure.
1341
01:27:46,412 --> 01:27:48,103
I mean, no.
1342
01:27:51,043 --> 01:27:52,550
No, I can't call you later?
1343
01:27:52,623 --> 01:27:53,759
Yeah.
1344
01:27:54,859 --> 01:27:59,232
No, I mean...
I'm not going to the reception.
1345
01:28:00,039 --> 01:28:01,973
Oh.
Great.
1346
01:28:16,062 --> 01:28:18,811
This is the boy.
1347
01:28:46,820 --> 01:28:49,503
Thanks for getting
my undies back.
1348
01:28:49,855 --> 01:28:52,032
Thanks for coming over.
1349
01:28:52,592 --> 01:28:54,526
Thanks for coming to get me.
1350
01:28:56,803 --> 01:28:58,753
Happy Birthday, Samantha.
1351
01:29:00,666 --> 01:29:02,506
Make a wish.
1352
01:29:05,143 --> 01:29:07,272
Oh, it already came true.
1353
01:29:10,273 --> 01:29:12,246
♪ If you were here ♪
1354
01:29:12,324 --> 01:29:15,816
♪ I could deceive you ♪
1355
01:29:18,559 --> 01:29:20,536
♪ If you were here ♪
1356
01:29:20,586 --> 01:29:23,248
♪ You would believe ♪
1357
01:29:26,603 --> 01:29:29,056
♪ But would you suspect ♪
1358
01:29:29,102 --> 01:29:34,631
♪ My emotion wandering yeah ♪
1359
01:29:34,854 --> 01:29:40,759
♪ Do not want a part
of this anymore ♪
1360
01:29:46,973 --> 01:29:52,466
♪ Sixteen candles ♪
1361
01:29:53,639 --> 01:29:58,733
♪ Make a lovely, lovely light ♪
1362
01:30:00,564 --> 01:30:05,350
♪ But not as bright ♪
1363
01:30:06,716 --> 01:30:13,137
♪ As your eyes tonight ♪
1364
01:30:13,206 --> 01:30:17,929
♪ Blow out those candles ♪
1365
01:30:19,679 --> 01:30:24,575
♪ Make your wish come true ♪
1366
01:30:26,750 --> 01:30:31,216
♪ For I'll be wishing ♪
1367
01:30:32,736 --> 01:30:37,869
♪ That you loved me too ♪
1368
01:30:39,346 --> 01:30:44,329
♪ You're only 16 ♪
1369
01:30:45,263 --> 01:30:50,750
♪ But you're my teenage queen ♪
1370
01:30:52,714 --> 01:30:59,441
♪ You're the prettiest
loveliest girl ♪
1371
01:30:59,519 --> 01:31:03,522
♪ I've ever seen ♪
1372
01:31:04,942 --> 01:31:10,585
♪ Sixteen candles ♪
1373
01:31:11,765 --> 01:31:16,974
♪ In my heart will glow ♪
1374
01:31:18,841 --> 01:31:24,384
♪ Forever and ever
and evermore ♪
1375
01:31:24,971 --> 01:31:30,407
♪ For I love you so ♪
1376
01:31:31,347 --> 01:31:33,321
♪ Hey ♪
1377
01:31:57,348 --> 01:32:04,771
♪ Sixteen candles yeah ♪
1378
01:32:04,818 --> 01:32:10,648
♪ In my heart in my
heart will glow ♪
1379
01:32:11,824 --> 01:32:16,840
♪ Forever and ever and ever ♪
1380
01:32:17,897 --> 01:32:21,647
♪ For I love you so ♪
1381
01:32:21,700 --> 01:32:27,596
♪ Oh, I love you so ♪
1382
01:32:27,663 --> 01:32:33,208
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa. ♪