1 00:00:08,096 --> 00:00:09,556 [2 LIVE CREW'S "ME SO HORNY" PLAYING] 2 00:00:09,723 --> 00:00:11,933 ♪ Oh, sock it to me! Ooh! ♪ 3 00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:13,852 ♪ Oh Me so horny ♪ 4 00:00:14,019 --> 00:00:15,604 ♪ Oh Me so horny ♪ 5 00:00:15,770 --> 00:00:17,272 ♪ Oh Me so horny ♪ 6 00:00:17,439 --> 00:00:19,191 ♪ Me love you long time ♪ 7 00:00:19,941 --> 00:00:23,445 ♪ Me so horny Me so, me so horny ♪ 8 00:00:23,612 --> 00:00:26,448 ♪ Me so horny Me love you long time ♪ 9 00:00:26,615 --> 00:00:30,118 ♪ Sittin' at home With my dick on hard ♪ 10 00:00:30,285 --> 00:00:34,289 ♪ So I got the black book For a freak to call ♪ 11 00:00:34,456 --> 00:00:37,542 ♪ Picked up the telephone Then dialed the 7 digits ♪ 12 00:00:37,709 --> 00:00:41,588 ♪ Said, "Yo, this Marquis, baby Are you down with it?" ♪ 13 00:00:41,755 --> 00:00:45,008 ♪ I arrived at her house Knocked on the door♪ 14 00:00:45,175 --> 00:00:48,428 ♪ Not having no idea Of what the night had in store ♪ 15 00:00:48,595 --> 00:00:52,224 ♪ I'm like a dog in heat A freak without warning ♪ 16 00:00:52,390 --> 00:00:57,312 ♪ I have an appetite for sex 'Cause me so horny ♪ 17 00:00:57,479 --> 00:00:59,064 ♪ Oh Me so horny ♪ 18 00:00:59,231 --> 00:01:00,982 ♪ Oh Me so horny ♪ 19 00:01:01,149 --> 00:01:02,734 ♪ Oh Me so horny ♪ 20 00:01:02,901 --> 00:01:04,486 ♪ Me love you long time ♪ 21 00:01:04,861 --> 00:01:06,529 ♪ Oh Me so horny ♪ 22 00:01:06,696 --> 00:01:08,531 ♪ Oh Me so, me so horny ♪ 23 00:01:08,698 --> 00:01:10,075 ♪ Oh Me so horny ♪ 24 00:01:10,242 --> 00:01:12,160 ♪ Me love you long time ♪ 25 00:01:12,327 --> 00:01:15,288 ♪ It's true you were a virgin Until you met me ♪ 26 00:01:15,455 --> 00:01:19,793 ♪ I was the first to make you hot And wetty-wetty ♪ 27 00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:23,380 ♪ You tell your parents That we're goin' out ♪ 28 00:01:23,546 --> 00:01:26,925 ♪ Never to the movies Just straight to my house ♪ 29 00:01:27,092 --> 00:01:30,470 ♪ You said it yourself You like it like I do ♪ 30 00:01:30,637 --> 00:01:34,641 ♪ Put your lips on my dick And suck my asshole too ♪ 31 00:01:34,808 --> 00:01:38,019 ♪ I'm a freak in heat A dog without warning ♪ 32 00:01:38,186 --> 00:01:42,941 ♪ My appetite is sex 'Cause me so horny ♪ 33 00:01:43,108 --> 00:01:44,651 ♪ Oh Me so horny ♪ 34 00:01:44,818 --> 00:01:46,653 ♪ Oh Me so horny ♪ 35 00:01:46,820 --> 00:01:48,238 ♪ Oh Me so horny ♪ 36 00:01:48,405 --> 00:01:49,990 ♪ Me love you long time ♪ 37 00:01:50,156 --> 00:01:52,117 ♪ Oh Me so horny ♪ 38 00:01:52,284 --> 00:01:53,994 ♪ Oh Me so, me so horny ♪ 39 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:57,372 ♪ It's like that man they call Georgie Puddin' Pie ♪ 40 00:01:57,539 --> 00:02:01,126 ♪ I fuck all the girls And I make 'em cry ♪ 41 00:02:01,293 --> 00:02:04,838 ♪ I'm like a dog in heat A freak without warning ♪ 42 00:02:05,005 --> 00:02:08,925 ♪ I have an appetite for sex 'Cause me so horny ♪ 43 00:02:09,092 --> 00:02:10,719 ♪ Oh Me so horny ♪ 44 00:02:10,885 --> 00:02:12,512 ♪ Oh Me so horny ♪ 45 00:02:12,679 --> 00:02:14,681 ♪ Me love you long time ♪ 46 00:02:14,848 --> 00:02:16,558 ♪ Fuckie suckie ♪ 47 00:02:16,725 --> 00:02:18,685 ♪ Fuckie suckie ♪ 48 00:02:18,852 --> 00:02:21,730 ♪ Me fuckie suckie ♪♪ 49 00:02:22,355 --> 00:02:23,398 MAN: Thank you, Grace, 50 00:02:23,565 --> 00:02:26,693 for that lovely acappella version of the National Anthem. 51 00:02:27,152 --> 00:02:31,406 Please welcome to the stage a student who needs no introduction, 52 00:02:31,573 --> 00:02:36,578 however, she did write one for me to read to you. Ahem. 53 00:02:36,745 --> 00:02:39,414 "Today's keynote speaker holds the highest GPA 54 00:02:39,581 --> 00:02:41,750 in the history of Merriwether High. 55 00:02:41,916 --> 00:02:46,046 As president of Mathletes, Key Club treasurer, editor of the school paper 56 00:02:46,254 --> 00:02:51,217 as well as her own self-published magazine Womyn With a Y, 57 00:02:51,384 --> 00:02:54,929 please put your hands together, oh, 58 00:02:55,096 --> 00:02:57,682 but remain seated so those behind you can see, 59 00:02:57,891 --> 00:03:02,103 this year's valedictorian, Brandy Klark." 60 00:03:02,270 --> 00:03:03,938 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 61 00:03:04,105 --> 00:03:05,440 FIONA: Go, Pancake. 62 00:03:06,483 --> 00:03:08,276 Please be quiet. 63 00:03:08,443 --> 00:03:10,612 [CROWD MURMURING] 64 00:03:10,945 --> 00:03:15,075 Our First Lady, Hillary Rodham Clinton, once said: 65 00:03:15,241 --> 00:03:19,120 "You cannot be both young and wise." 66 00:03:19,287 --> 00:03:22,248 I say, let's prove her wrong. 67 00:03:22,415 --> 00:03:24,209 Get off the stage, virgin. 68 00:03:24,376 --> 00:03:25,710 [CROWD LAUGHING] 69 00:03:33,468 --> 00:03:35,470 [CROWD MURMURING] 70 00:03:35,762 --> 00:03:36,888 GIRL: What a loser. 71 00:03:37,055 --> 00:03:38,765 Thank you. That's great. 72 00:03:38,932 --> 00:03:42,477 Nice speech, spaz. What, you have like a death wish or something? 73 00:03:42,644 --> 00:03:44,729 -Good chime-in. -No, I don't have a death wish. 74 00:03:44,938 --> 00:03:48,233 -Amber, be nice to your sister. -CAMERON: Hey, Brandy. Brandy. 75 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:50,527 -Hey, Brandy. -Hey, Cameron. 76 00:03:52,946 --> 00:03:56,157 Killer speech. Really inspirational. 77 00:03:56,324 --> 00:03:58,410 Your hair smells good. What is it, lavender? 78 00:03:58,576 --> 00:04:02,664 -Who is this? Who are you? -Oh, hi. Cameron Mitchell, sir. 79 00:04:02,831 --> 00:04:06,584 George, it's Cameron. Brandy's science lab partner. 80 00:04:06,751 --> 00:04:07,794 AP Chemistry partner. 81 00:04:07,961 --> 00:04:09,003 -He is? -Yes. 82 00:04:09,504 --> 00:04:10,755 -Dad. -What? 83 00:04:10,922 --> 00:04:12,966 -BRANDY: It's Cameron. -Okay. 84 00:04:13,133 --> 00:04:15,593 -Can I talk to you for a second, please? -Yeah. 85 00:04:15,844 --> 00:04:19,097 Um... So it was really rad studying with you this year. 86 00:04:19,264 --> 00:04:21,933 I'm so psyched that we'll be working together at the pool. 87 00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:24,519 -Oh, me too. -And we're going to Georgetown together. 88 00:04:24,686 --> 00:04:28,314 I mean, you got a full ride, I got a partial, but whatever. 89 00:04:28,481 --> 00:04:30,775 I think that fate is trying to tell us something. 90 00:04:30,942 --> 00:04:33,403 Barf. Two nerds in love. 91 00:04:33,570 --> 00:04:36,030 Shut up. Our relationship is strictly professional. 92 00:04:36,197 --> 00:04:38,700 We're just friends. God, I hate you. 93 00:04:40,201 --> 00:04:42,787 -So sorry, Cameron. -No, that's okay. 94 00:04:42,954 --> 00:04:44,372 -You were saying. -Uh... 95 00:04:44,539 --> 00:04:47,167 I was just saying that I think that... 96 00:04:47,375 --> 00:04:51,838 -I wanted just to give you this. -Oh, thanks. Socks. 97 00:04:52,005 --> 00:04:55,049 Actually, those are slippers, and they're for your dorm room-- 98 00:04:55,216 --> 00:04:57,927 [GIRLS SQUEALING] 99 00:04:58,094 --> 00:04:59,762 WENDY: We did it. 100 00:05:00,847 --> 00:05:01,890 Oh, my God. 101 00:05:02,056 --> 00:05:04,350 -The slutty Oompa Loompas. -Honey. 102 00:05:04,517 --> 00:05:07,187 Can we get out of this family fuck-fest and go to a party? 103 00:05:07,353 --> 00:05:09,522 Hey, Judge. Hi, Mrs. Klark. 104 00:05:09,689 --> 00:05:12,484 [GIRLS WHOOPING] 105 00:05:12,650 --> 00:05:14,569 [SPIN DOCTORS' "TWO PRINCES" PLAYING] 106 00:05:14,736 --> 00:05:16,237 Hey, go fuck yourself. 107 00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:20,408 Dude, you don't give the chick you're crushing on socks. 108 00:05:20,575 --> 00:05:22,869 -They're slippers, actually. -Oh, whatever, man. 109 00:05:23,036 --> 00:05:25,914 You give her girly shit, like perfume or a scrunchie. 110 00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:28,666 Brandy is not a girlie girl. She's hard to read. 111 00:05:28,833 --> 00:05:31,753 Sometimes I think she likes me, sometimes I think she's a robot. 112 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:34,589 -Oh, I knew it. She's a lesbo. -She's not a lesbo. 113 00:05:34,756 --> 00:05:35,798 [PAGER CHIMES] 114 00:05:35,965 --> 00:05:40,094 Oh, shit. Just got a page. Let's jet. 115 00:05:40,261 --> 00:05:43,097 -You don't really think she's a lesbo? -I kind of do. 116 00:05:46,392 --> 00:05:49,187 I have to register, contact my dorm mate, label my clothes-- 117 00:05:49,354 --> 00:05:51,689 And see Beaches. I got it on VHS. 118 00:05:51,856 --> 00:05:55,276 We have to have a special sleepover to watch it before we leave, okay? 119 00:05:55,443 --> 00:05:57,237 -Special sleepover? -WENDY: Yes. 120 00:05:57,403 --> 00:05:59,864 -God, you're so weird. -Okay, Wendy, "Watch Beaches." 121 00:06:00,031 --> 00:06:01,699 -I'll put it on the list. -Thank you. 122 00:06:01,866 --> 00:06:04,786 Save money for computer. That'll take forever. Buy shower shoes. 123 00:06:04,953 --> 00:06:06,913 You know how much bacteria is in communal showers? 124 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:09,958 -If you don't bring your own shoes-- -FIONA: God, stop. Put it away. 125 00:06:10,124 --> 00:06:12,752 Put it away. All right? You're being a buzz kill. 126 00:06:13,169 --> 00:06:17,090 Okay. Guess it can wait. 127 00:06:17,882 --> 00:06:20,093 I am excited for the all-night graduation party. 128 00:06:20,260 --> 00:06:22,512 Those Mormons have some great activities planned. 129 00:06:22,845 --> 00:06:26,599 And I think it's the perfect alternative to Derrick Bergwill's stupid kegger. 130 00:06:26,766 --> 00:06:29,102 I mean, who needs alcohol when there's a hypnotist? 131 00:06:29,269 --> 00:06:30,311 [ALL CHUCKLE] 132 00:06:30,478 --> 00:06:32,814 Fiona, you missed the turn. 133 00:06:32,981 --> 00:06:36,234 Hey, seriously, you missed the turn. Hey. 134 00:06:37,110 --> 00:06:38,820 What the H-E-double hockey sticks. 135 00:06:38,987 --> 00:06:42,156 Told you she'd freak. She almost swore. Better turn around, Fiona. 136 00:06:42,323 --> 00:06:44,492 There is no way I am turning this car around. 137 00:06:44,659 --> 00:06:47,829 Pancake, I'm taking you to a real party. 138 00:06:47,996 --> 00:06:51,291 Booyah. Class of '93, fucktards. Whoo! 139 00:06:51,499 --> 00:06:53,501 CROWD [CHANTING]: Drink, drink, drink, drink! 140 00:06:53,668 --> 00:06:55,545 Drink, drink, drink, drink! 141 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:57,463 [GAGGING] 142 00:06:58,506 --> 00:07:00,758 -You guys suck. -FIONA & WENDY: Dicks. 143 00:07:00,925 --> 00:07:02,176 Hey. Ha, ha. 144 00:07:02,343 --> 00:07:04,304 -I'm out of here. -Let's get our drink on. 145 00:07:04,470 --> 00:07:05,555 Excuse me. 146 00:07:05,930 --> 00:07:08,308 Fiona, my dad is a judge. He'd be so disappointed. 147 00:07:08,516 --> 00:07:11,019 You know, Brandy, in Europe there's no drinking age. 148 00:07:11,185 --> 00:07:13,771 Parents give their babies wine and shit. 149 00:07:13,938 --> 00:07:16,983 Twenty-one is, like, such an arbitrary age, because it's, like, 150 00:07:17,150 --> 00:07:22,572 you can go to war and die, but you can't have a little drink now? 151 00:07:22,905 --> 00:07:26,868 Look, you know I hate hypocritical laws, but, Fiona, you are driving. 152 00:07:27,035 --> 00:07:28,328 Okay, okay, okay. 153 00:07:28,494 --> 00:07:30,580 -I'm throwing this out. -No. 154 00:07:30,747 --> 00:07:35,877 ♪ Pour some sugar on me In the name of love ♪ 155 00:07:36,336 --> 00:07:41,674 -Who is that? -That is Rusty Waters. 156 00:07:41,924 --> 00:07:46,971 ♪ Pour your sugar on me Can't get enough ♪ 157 00:07:50,141 --> 00:07:52,685 ♪ You got the peaches I got the cream ♪ 158 00:07:52,852 --> 00:07:55,063 ♪ Sweet to taste, saccharine ♪ 159 00:07:55,229 --> 00:07:56,981 ♪ 'Cause I'm hot Hot, so hot ♪ 160 00:07:57,148 --> 00:08:02,403 ♪ Sticky sweet From my head to my feet ♪ 161 00:08:02,570 --> 00:08:07,408 ♪ Do you take sugar? One lump or two? ♪ 162 00:08:07,575 --> 00:08:12,997 ♪ Now take a bottle Now shake it up ♪ 163 00:08:13,164 --> 00:08:17,543 ♪ Break the bubble Break it up ♪ 164 00:08:18,086 --> 00:08:21,714 ♪ Pour some sugar on me ♪ 165 00:08:21,881 --> 00:08:27,261 ♪ Come on, fire me up Pour your sugar on me ♪ 166 00:08:27,428 --> 00:08:32,934 ♪ I can't get enough Pour some sugar on me ♪ 167 00:08:33,101 --> 00:08:34,644 ♪ In the name of love ♪♪ 168 00:08:34,811 --> 00:08:35,937 We can stay. 169 00:08:36,104 --> 00:08:37,855 CROWD [CHANTING]: Chug, chug, chug, chug! 170 00:08:38,022 --> 00:08:39,774 Chug, chug, chug, chug! 171 00:08:39,941 --> 00:08:41,734 Chug, chug, chug, chug! 172 00:08:41,901 --> 00:08:43,736 Chug, chug, chug, chug! 173 00:08:43,903 --> 00:08:45,613 Chug, chug, chug, chug! 174 00:08:45,780 --> 00:08:47,448 Chug, chug, chug, chug! 175 00:08:47,615 --> 00:08:49,325 Chug, chug, chug, chug! 176 00:08:49,492 --> 00:08:51,285 Chug, chug, chug, chug! 177 00:08:51,452 --> 00:08:54,372 Chug, chug, chug, chug! 178 00:08:54,539 --> 00:08:56,999 [ALL CHEERING] 179 00:08:59,252 --> 00:09:02,630 -Yes. -Here's to pussy. 180 00:09:04,257 --> 00:09:06,134 Oh, God. What is that? That's disgusting. 181 00:09:06,300 --> 00:09:09,053 Peach schnapps. The only thing my dad wouldn't miss from the liquor cabinet. 182 00:09:09,220 --> 00:09:11,431 -I'm sticking to beer. -I'll stick to schnapps. 183 00:09:11,931 --> 00:09:15,059 -BRANDY: I can't feel my legs. -You're like after-school-special drunk. 184 00:09:15,518 --> 00:09:18,396 BRANDY: Beer should be a food group. Am I right? 185 00:09:18,563 --> 00:09:20,148 FIONA: Uh-huh. 186 00:09:20,648 --> 00:09:23,443 BRANDY: I like being on the top bunk. 187 00:09:23,651 --> 00:09:26,070 -WENDY: If you fart, I'll kill you. -BRANDY: Ladies don't fart. 188 00:09:26,237 --> 00:09:27,238 [BRANDY FARTS] 189 00:09:27,405 --> 00:09:29,073 -Don't-- Ew. -FIONA: Except this one. 190 00:09:30,992 --> 00:09:32,827 FIONA: Sleep well, drunkie. BRANDY: I love you. 191 00:09:32,994 --> 00:09:34,495 -I love you too. -We love you. 192 00:09:35,371 --> 00:09:36,998 Whoo! 193 00:09:37,165 --> 00:09:41,711 -We're gonna go party now. Bye. -I've made it to the top. 194 00:09:41,878 --> 00:09:45,173 Guys are gone? It's all good. 195 00:09:45,339 --> 00:09:48,426 Let's play a game. I hide, you seek. 196 00:09:48,593 --> 00:09:51,929 Here's a hint, I'll be in bed. 197 00:09:52,096 --> 00:09:54,348 Hey, who are you? 198 00:09:55,016 --> 00:09:56,017 [SIGHS] 199 00:09:56,893 --> 00:09:58,519 TOY: I know you are, but what am I? 200 00:09:58,686 --> 00:10:01,272 [LAUGHS] 201 00:10:01,439 --> 00:10:02,940 [OVER SPEAKERS] ♪ Wake up, girl ♪ 202 00:10:03,107 --> 00:10:06,152 ♪ Wanna get a message to you ♪♪ 203 00:10:06,319 --> 00:10:11,365 Oh, I should do this more often. Getting drunk is fun. 204 00:10:11,532 --> 00:10:14,827 Oh, yeah? It's about to get a whole lot funner. 205 00:10:14,994 --> 00:10:19,540 You mean, more fun. "Funner" is not a word. 206 00:10:19,707 --> 00:10:21,959 [♪♪♪] 207 00:10:22,126 --> 00:10:23,669 ♪ Met her in my dreams She was my queen ♪ 208 00:10:23,878 --> 00:10:25,213 Ooh... 209 00:10:25,379 --> 00:10:26,881 ♪ Rivers and streams ♪♪ 210 00:10:28,382 --> 00:10:30,259 You feel like Marky Mark looks. 211 00:10:30,426 --> 00:10:32,678 Oh, yeah? How about some good vibrations? 212 00:10:33,513 --> 00:10:34,972 [GASPS] 213 00:10:41,145 --> 00:10:42,355 You ready for some more? 214 00:10:42,522 --> 00:10:44,690 Yeah. As long as you don't have oral herpes. 215 00:10:44,857 --> 00:10:46,150 Wait. 216 00:10:49,362 --> 00:10:53,741 -Who the fuck are you? -Brandy Klark, valedictorian. 217 00:10:54,492 --> 00:10:58,579 Yeah, you're not who I was looking for. 218 00:11:00,164 --> 00:11:01,916 Nice to meet you. 219 00:11:02,416 --> 00:11:04,210 [VOMITING THEN COUGHING] 220 00:11:04,377 --> 00:11:08,798 Why am I so stupid? What was I thinking? 221 00:11:08,965 --> 00:11:13,261 That it tastes better on the way down than it does coming up? Jesus. 222 00:11:13,427 --> 00:11:17,056 -Your vomit's the color of Kermit the Frog. -Why did I say that? 223 00:11:17,223 --> 00:11:20,017 Why didn't I just keep kissing him back? 224 00:11:20,184 --> 00:11:22,937 Excuse me? Who the fuck did you kiss? 225 00:11:23,688 --> 00:11:26,941 -Whom. -Whom the fuck did you kiss, Brandy? 226 00:11:27,108 --> 00:11:30,194 -Whom the fuck did you kiss, Brandy? -Brandy. 227 00:11:30,361 --> 00:11:33,447 -Whom the fuck did you kiss? -Rusty Waters. 228 00:11:33,781 --> 00:11:36,576 -What? No. -Shut up. 229 00:11:36,784 --> 00:11:40,454 -Are you serious? -I've never felt that way before. 230 00:11:40,621 --> 00:11:42,957 What, horny? Yeah, welcome to puberty, man. 231 00:11:43,124 --> 00:11:44,542 No. 232 00:11:45,418 --> 00:11:49,338 Like nervous. Like I didn't know what to do. 233 00:11:49,505 --> 00:11:51,465 I always know what to do. Always. 234 00:11:51,632 --> 00:11:54,802 So you're saying that you kissed Rusty Waters... 235 00:11:56,345 --> 00:11:58,556 but you didn't put out? Are you crazy? 236 00:11:58,723 --> 00:12:00,600 -Or a lesbian. -No. 237 00:12:00,766 --> 00:12:04,478 I wanted to put it out. I didn't know how. 238 00:12:04,645 --> 00:12:06,510 What do you mean you didn't know how? 239 00:12:06,534 --> 00:12:08,399 He kisses you, you just kiss him back. 240 00:12:08,566 --> 00:12:10,109 I mean, it's not that hard. 241 00:12:10,276 --> 00:12:13,110 Unless you're good at it, and then it is hard. 242 00:12:13,134 --> 00:12:14,071 Do you get it? 243 00:12:14,238 --> 00:12:16,157 -Wendy. -I mean his dick. 244 00:12:16,741 --> 00:12:18,868 Guys, this is serious. 245 00:12:19,035 --> 00:12:22,204 The last time I Frenched was with Jason Swan in ninth grade. 246 00:12:22,371 --> 00:12:26,125 We had to end our relationship because it interfered with student-council duties. 247 00:12:26,292 --> 00:12:29,003 You could've gone all the way if you didn't lose your shit. 248 00:12:29,170 --> 00:12:31,756 Can you imagine losing your V card to a college guy? 249 00:12:31,923 --> 00:12:34,508 -No premature ejaculation. -He'd hit your G spot. 250 00:12:34,675 --> 00:12:37,887 Yeah, you'd probably come like three times. 251 00:12:38,054 --> 00:12:41,057 Come where? 252 00:12:42,183 --> 00:12:44,518 -That's an orgasm. -Really? 253 00:12:44,685 --> 00:12:47,521 You think if I'd been ready and wanted to and not so drunk, 254 00:12:47,688 --> 00:12:50,191 had protection and maybe a cute bra, we could've--? 255 00:12:50,358 --> 00:12:51,817 Fucked? 256 00:12:52,526 --> 00:12:55,196 Yeah. Totally. 257 00:12:55,363 --> 00:12:57,198 You blew, like, a major opportunity. 258 00:12:57,365 --> 00:13:00,534 FIONA: I mean, there's nothing wrong with being a late bloomer, Pancake, 259 00:13:00,701 --> 00:13:04,664 but let's face it, you're not getting any younger. 260 00:13:04,997 --> 00:13:08,334 -I kissed his nipple. -What? 261 00:13:08,501 --> 00:13:11,671 I think I sucked on it. 262 00:13:11,879 --> 00:13:14,840 -That's okay. -But I don't know why. 263 00:13:15,007 --> 00:13:16,550 [ALARM CLOCK RINGING] 264 00:13:16,717 --> 00:13:18,678 [♪♪♪] 265 00:13:26,811 --> 00:13:27,853 [GROANING] 266 00:13:30,398 --> 00:13:33,150 [SPEAKS IN SPANISH THEN HINDI] 267 00:13:34,860 --> 00:13:37,071 Hey, could you get me a coffee? 268 00:13:37,738 --> 00:13:39,573 BRANDY: Ugh. You smell like patchouli. 269 00:13:42,118 --> 00:13:45,997 Good morning. Why is Chip shaving his legs in the bathroom? 270 00:13:46,163 --> 00:13:48,416 Because he mountain bikes, duh. 271 00:13:48,833 --> 00:13:50,668 MRS. KLARK: Chip spent the night, sweetheart. 272 00:13:50,835 --> 00:13:52,086 Chip did what? 273 00:13:52,253 --> 00:13:55,256 He spent the night. He's going off on some big fishing trip. 274 00:13:55,423 --> 00:13:59,051 -They won't see each other all summer. -He's following Phish, as in the band. 275 00:13:59,218 --> 00:14:01,595 You gave Amber permission to have a boy sleep over? 276 00:14:01,762 --> 00:14:02,972 -He's a man. -In her bed? 277 00:14:03,139 --> 00:14:04,429 Not a boy, it's her fiancé. 278 00:14:04,453 --> 00:14:06,851 Where else am I gonna have him sleep, on the couch? 279 00:14:07,018 --> 00:14:10,396 -Why the heck not? -How was your little church party? 280 00:14:11,772 --> 00:14:15,484 I wouldn't know. Fiona and Wendy took me to a kegger, 281 00:14:15,651 --> 00:14:18,612 I got drunk and puked my brains out. 282 00:14:18,946 --> 00:14:22,199 You should probably ground me. Mom, do we have ginger ale? 283 00:14:22,366 --> 00:14:24,285 -Let me see, honey. -Dumb-ass. 284 00:14:24,452 --> 00:14:26,620 Are you still drunk? Don't tell them that. 285 00:14:26,787 --> 00:14:29,999 -MRS. KLARK: Brandy tells us everything. -Too much, if you ask me. 286 00:14:30,166 --> 00:14:32,585 And we trust her to make the right decisions. 287 00:14:32,752 --> 00:14:35,421 Or, at least, learn from her mistakes. Right, honey? 288 00:14:35,588 --> 00:14:37,423 You need to learn how to lie. 289 00:14:37,590 --> 00:14:41,761 She does not need to lie. In this house, honesty is the only policy. 290 00:14:41,969 --> 00:14:43,804 -That's right. -MRS. KLARK: There you go, honey. 291 00:14:43,971 --> 00:14:46,432 And we think this hangover is punishment enough. 292 00:14:46,599 --> 00:14:49,101 You're not even grounding her? Un-fucking believable. 293 00:14:49,268 --> 00:14:51,145 -Hey! -BOTH: Language. 294 00:14:51,312 --> 00:14:52,813 [♪♪♪] 295 00:15:05,576 --> 00:15:06,586 Sorry I'm late. 296 00:15:06,610 --> 00:15:09,663 I experimented with alcohol last night and puked on my way here. 297 00:15:09,830 --> 00:15:11,665 I had to stop for mouth wash. 298 00:15:11,832 --> 00:15:14,835 -My name is-- -Brandy Klark. Yeah, I remember. 299 00:15:18,631 --> 00:15:21,217 Do you ever wear a shirt? 300 00:15:22,009 --> 00:15:23,844 Very funny. Heh. 301 00:15:24,595 --> 00:15:27,848 Man, last night was embarrassing. 302 00:15:28,224 --> 00:15:30,976 You must think I'm some type of sex maniac or something, 303 00:15:31,143 --> 00:15:35,689 but I promise you, next time, I will ask before I strip down and start kissing you. 304 00:15:37,024 --> 00:15:38,692 -Okay. -Anyway, 305 00:15:38,859 --> 00:15:41,195 I take it you're here for lifeguard orientation. 306 00:15:41,737 --> 00:15:43,781 -How did you know? -Tsk. 307 00:15:45,366 --> 00:15:47,701 All right, then. Let's go meet the boss. 308 00:15:47,868 --> 00:15:48,911 [♪♪♪] 309 00:15:49,078 --> 00:15:50,621 [SNORING] 310 00:15:52,248 --> 00:15:55,376 -This is the pool manager? -Shh. He is sleeping. 311 00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:58,087 Yeah, I can see that. 312 00:15:58,254 --> 00:16:00,506 Excuse me. Sir? 313 00:16:00,673 --> 00:16:02,383 Excuse me. 314 00:16:03,843 --> 00:16:05,219 Hello. 315 00:16:05,886 --> 00:16:07,221 Excuse me. Hi. 316 00:16:07,388 --> 00:16:10,224 -Rise and shine. -Shh. Shh. 317 00:16:10,391 --> 00:16:13,227 This is... It's all happ-- It's all happening. 318 00:16:13,394 --> 00:16:14,562 [MUMBLING] 319 00:16:14,728 --> 00:16:17,231 -It's a happy... -Excuse me. I think you're dreaming. 320 00:16:17,398 --> 00:16:21,485 -Ow. -Please stop. Stop it. Please. 321 00:16:24,905 --> 00:16:26,240 Hi. 322 00:16:27,992 --> 00:16:30,411 -Hi. -I'm Brandy. Brandy Klark? 323 00:16:34,081 --> 00:16:37,668 -It's orientation. -She's a newbie. Cut her some slack. 324 00:16:38,711 --> 00:16:41,714 Cut me some slack? Correct me if I'm wrong, 325 00:16:41,881 --> 00:16:45,718 but I think we're here to work, not hang out and get a suntan. 326 00:16:47,094 --> 00:16:49,930 -You guys. -Hair of the dog... 327 00:16:50,097 --> 00:16:53,350 I can't believe you're drinking that. Do you know what time it is? 328 00:16:56,312 --> 00:16:59,648 No. I partied on Friday. What day is it? 329 00:16:59,815 --> 00:17:02,359 -It's Monday. -Fucking A, man. 330 00:17:02,526 --> 00:17:04,486 All right, I better get to work. 331 00:17:05,654 --> 00:17:06,697 Have at it, 332 00:17:06,864 --> 00:17:08,365 newbie. 333 00:17:08,532 --> 00:17:10,659 You expect me to clean up all that by myself? 334 00:17:10,826 --> 00:17:12,369 -Yes. -I can help you. 335 00:17:12,536 --> 00:17:14,788 No, you won't. 336 00:17:20,794 --> 00:17:22,713 [♪♪♪] 337 00:17:29,428 --> 00:17:31,305 AMBER: I was thinking the colors for the wedding, 338 00:17:31,472 --> 00:17:32,640 burnt sienna and turquoise. 339 00:17:32,806 --> 00:17:34,975 -Do they have burnt sienna flowers? -I don't know. 340 00:17:35,142 --> 00:17:37,811 -Hi, sweetie. Dinner is waiting. -BRANDY: Hi. 341 00:17:37,978 --> 00:17:39,647 -BRANDY: Sorry I'm late. -Hey, sweetie. 342 00:17:39,813 --> 00:17:42,149 -Good evening. -How was lifeguard orientation? 343 00:17:43,275 --> 00:17:45,027 -Humiliating. -Hmm. 344 00:17:45,194 --> 00:17:47,321 My burn-out boss decided to make fun of me 345 00:17:47,488 --> 00:17:50,157 in front of this incredibly hot college guy. 346 00:17:50,324 --> 00:17:52,409 Ah-ha. Shocker. 347 00:17:52,826 --> 00:17:56,330 Mom, when exactly did you lose your virginity? 348 00:17:56,497 --> 00:17:58,958 On our wedding night. Pass the potatoes, please. 349 00:17:59,124 --> 00:18:01,835 -George. -The potatoes, Jean. Please? 350 00:18:02,002 --> 00:18:04,004 -Oh, honestly. -Thank you. 351 00:18:04,505 --> 00:18:07,341 -Way to go, dumb-ass. -Shut the front door, Amber. 352 00:18:07,508 --> 00:18:10,177 -Shut the back door, Brandy. -Not the back door. 353 00:18:10,344 --> 00:18:11,762 -Not the back door. -What? 354 00:18:11,929 --> 00:18:14,723 There's doors we don't do. The back door's one of them. 355 00:18:20,729 --> 00:18:24,233 It's the '90s. You'll have to get with the times. 356 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:27,528 -Fine, we can get call waiting. -I'm not talking about call waiting. 357 00:18:27,695 --> 00:18:30,072 I'm talking about Brandy. 358 00:18:30,239 --> 00:18:34,118 She's clearly curious about sex. I think I should talk to her. 359 00:18:34,285 --> 00:18:37,162 No. No talk. Your talks do more harm than good. 360 00:18:37,955 --> 00:18:39,290 What's that supposed to mean? 361 00:18:39,456 --> 00:18:42,501 It means, you had a talk with Amber and look how that turned out. 362 00:18:42,668 --> 00:18:44,837 You put her on the pill when she was 15 363 00:18:45,004 --> 00:18:48,299 and she's been dating, pardon my French, jerks ever since. 364 00:18:48,465 --> 00:18:52,720 -And now she's gonna marry one. -You can't blame Chip on me. 365 00:18:52,886 --> 00:18:56,223 Anyway, what do you expect, Brandy's gonna wait till her wedding night? 366 00:18:56,724 --> 00:18:58,726 It worked for you. 367 00:19:02,062 --> 00:19:05,983 Let's see. I lost my virginity when I was 15. 368 00:19:06,150 --> 00:19:08,736 -Fifteen? -No, actually 14, with Francois. 369 00:19:09,111 --> 00:19:12,573 Our exchange student? But he was so rude. 370 00:19:12,740 --> 00:19:17,828 He always played his stereo too loud. He never let me in his roo-- Touché. 371 00:19:17,995 --> 00:19:21,749 He had a big dick. Yeah, Francois, you know, sex wasn't that bad 372 00:19:21,915 --> 00:19:23,917 but it didn't get good until sophomore year. 373 00:19:24,084 --> 00:19:27,171 College, okay, that makes sense. You're more mature-- 374 00:19:27,338 --> 00:19:28,431 High school. 375 00:19:28,455 --> 00:19:31,759 By then, the guys had cars. We would park at Beaver Creek. 376 00:19:31,925 --> 00:19:34,887 Do people still do that, go to Beaver Creek to fuck? 377 00:19:35,095 --> 00:19:38,766 -How would I know? -Oh, shit, right. Virgin. Ha, ha. 378 00:19:38,932 --> 00:19:42,269 Man, it feels good to finally be smarter at something than my kid sister. 379 00:19:42,770 --> 00:19:46,607 Loser. Seriously, you wanna pop that cherry before you get to college. 380 00:19:46,774 --> 00:19:48,108 Before? Why? 381 00:19:48,275 --> 00:19:51,862 Okay, how can I put this in terms a Mathlete understands? 382 00:19:52,029 --> 00:19:56,033 -Yes, in terms a Mathlete understands. -I'm fucking trying, okay? 383 00:19:56,200 --> 00:20:01,580 Freshman year is like one big sexual pop quiz. 384 00:20:01,747 --> 00:20:03,874 -You need to do your homework. -Homework? 385 00:20:04,041 --> 00:20:08,921 Yeah. God, it's crazy, freshman year. I fucked my R.A. the first week. 386 00:20:09,129 --> 00:20:12,633 -Wonder what she's up to. -It was a girl? 387 00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:14,176 Yeah. 388 00:20:14,968 --> 00:20:17,137 Oh, my God, I have a lot of work to do. 389 00:20:17,304 --> 00:20:21,100 [NAUGHTY BY NATURE'S "O.P.P." PLAYING] 390 00:20:21,266 --> 00:20:23,435 Let's do this. 391 00:20:25,062 --> 00:20:27,606 ♪ Army with harmony ♪ 392 00:20:32,486 --> 00:20:33,904 ♪ Dave, drop a load on 'em ♪ 393 00:20:37,157 --> 00:20:38,951 Okay, Amber... 394 00:20:39,118 --> 00:20:40,953 ♪ 0.P.P. How can I explain it ♪ 395 00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:42,871 let's see what you got. 396 00:20:43,455 --> 00:20:44,665 ♪ 0 is for other♪ 397 00:20:44,832 --> 00:20:48,252 Titty-- F-word. 398 00:20:48,669 --> 00:20:51,171 "Motorboating." 399 00:20:51,630 --> 00:20:54,341 Uncle Andy has a boat. That should be easy. 400 00:20:54,508 --> 00:20:58,512 ♪ If the other party isn’t gaming It seems I gotta start the explaining ♪ 401 00:20:58,679 --> 00:21:03,517 "Teabagging." Must be British. 402 00:21:03,684 --> 00:21:05,811 ♪ You get home, wait a day She's what you wanna know about ♪ 403 00:21:05,978 --> 00:21:08,021 ♪ Then you call up and it’s her girlfriend Or her cousin's house ♪ 404 00:21:08,188 --> 00:21:11,024 "Shocker: One who shocks." 405 00:21:11,191 --> 00:21:12,568 Hmm. 406 00:21:13,026 --> 00:21:17,823 Maybe it's some kind of surprise. "Hand job, blowjob, rim job." 407 00:21:17,990 --> 00:21:21,618 Why so many jobs? What's a rim job anyway? 408 00:21:22,411 --> 00:21:25,539 Come on, rim job. Not listed. 409 00:21:25,706 --> 00:21:28,041 Guess I will have to ask the librarian on that one. 410 00:21:28,208 --> 00:21:29,835 ♪ You down with OPP Yeah, you know me ♪ 411 00:21:30,002 --> 00:21:32,212 ♪ You down with OPP Yeah, you know me ♪ 412 00:21:32,379 --> 00:21:34,131 ♪ You down with OPP Yeah, you know me ♪ 413 00:21:34,298 --> 00:21:41,430 And finally, sexual intercourse with Rusty Waters. 414 00:21:42,139 --> 00:21:44,433 ♪ You down with OPP Yeah, you know me ♪ 415 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:47,478 ♪ Who's down with OPP? Break it down ♪♪ 416 00:21:47,644 --> 00:21:51,565 Well, let's get to work, vagina. 417 00:21:54,234 --> 00:21:56,904 Here you go. Have a good day. Bye-bye. 418 00:21:59,072 --> 00:22:02,201 Hello. Welcome to Big Bun. May I help you? 419 00:22:02,367 --> 00:22:05,370 I decided to lose my virginity to Rusty Waters. 420 00:22:06,580 --> 00:22:09,416 -You want fries with that? -No. 421 00:22:10,459 --> 00:22:13,879 -FIONA: "Finger-banged, sixty-nine"? -"Titty fuck, blowjob." 422 00:22:14,046 --> 00:22:17,883 -I had no idea that you could be so-- -Sophisticated? 423 00:22:18,050 --> 00:22:22,721 Slutty. There are things on this list that I haven't even done, Brandy. 424 00:22:22,930 --> 00:22:24,515 This is awesome. 425 00:22:24,681 --> 00:22:27,142 So you're gonna scam on other guys and then hook up with Rusty? 426 00:22:27,309 --> 00:22:28,977 -Mm-hm. -No offense, but how? 427 00:22:29,144 --> 00:22:31,104 You said yourself he's out of your league. 428 00:22:31,271 --> 00:22:33,190 -I never said that. -I did. 429 00:22:33,357 --> 00:22:35,776 Okay, yes, he's out of my league now 430 00:22:35,943 --> 00:22:39,446 but not once I learn how to pearl-necklace him. 431 00:22:40,072 --> 00:22:43,700 -Huh. Actually sounds really elegant. -It's not. 432 00:22:45,911 --> 00:22:52,292 Anywho, I'm witty, engaging, smart, well-read. 433 00:22:52,459 --> 00:22:55,587 Once I add "sexually experienced" to the package, he'll want me. 434 00:22:55,754 --> 00:22:57,965 Plus, you're an untouched virgin. 435 00:22:58,131 --> 00:23:00,551 Yeah. What guy's gonna say no to a virgin, right? 436 00:23:00,717 --> 00:23:03,220 Thank you. That's just the encouragement I need. 437 00:23:03,387 --> 00:23:05,430 [♪♪♪] 438 00:23:05,597 --> 00:23:11,395 KIDS [CHANTING]: Let us swim! Let us swim! Let us swim! Let us swim! 439 00:23:11,562 --> 00:23:17,484 Let us swim! Let us swim! Let us swim! Let us swim! 440 00:23:19,736 --> 00:23:22,906 -BRANDY: Cameron. Cameron. -CAMERON: Whoa! 441 00:23:24,950 --> 00:23:27,411 -What was that about? -Pool rats. 442 00:23:27,578 --> 00:23:29,913 Get here at dawn, don't leave till September. 443 00:23:31,164 --> 00:23:34,126 We're cheap daycare for the neighborhood rats. 444 00:23:34,334 --> 00:23:39,590 -I'm sure it's not that bad. -Just you wait, newbie. 445 00:23:39,756 --> 00:23:43,844 KIDS: Let us swim! Let us swim! Let us swim! 446 00:23:44,011 --> 00:23:47,472 Let us swim! Let us swim! Let us swim! 447 00:23:47,639 --> 00:23:49,683 [SHUSHING] 448 00:23:56,023 --> 00:23:58,358 [KIDS CHEERING] 449 00:23:58,525 --> 00:24:00,694 ♪ And a poom-poom Just shake ya rump ♪ 450 00:24:00,861 --> 00:24:02,863 ♪ All I wanna do ls zoom-a-zoom-zoom-zoom ♪ 451 00:24:03,030 --> 00:24:05,782 ♪ And a poom-poom Just shake ya rump ♪ 452 00:24:05,949 --> 00:24:07,826 ♪ All I wanna do ls zoom-a-zoom-zoom-zoom ♪ 453 00:24:07,993 --> 00:24:10,037 ♪ And a poom-poom Just shake ya rump ♪ 454 00:24:10,203 --> 00:24:12,372 ♪ Check, baby, check Baby, one two three four ♪ 455 00:24:12,539 --> 00:24:14,875 ♪ Check, baby, check Baby, one two three ♪ 456 00:24:15,042 --> 00:24:17,169 ♪ Check, baby, check Baby, one two ♪ 457 00:24:17,336 --> 00:24:18,545 ♪ Check, baby, check Baby, one ♪ 458 00:24:18,712 --> 00:24:20,631 ♪ It's called a rump shaker ♪ 459 00:24:21,048 --> 00:24:23,592 Hey, guys, get off the-- Aah! 460 00:24:23,759 --> 00:24:24,885 [KIDS LAUGHING] 461 00:24:26,553 --> 00:24:28,972 -See you later, sucker. -Loser. 462 00:24:32,100 --> 00:24:34,811 -Tried to warn you, newbie. -Aah! 463 00:24:34,978 --> 00:24:36,438 [KIDS LAUGHING] 464 00:24:36,605 --> 00:24:41,068 -What the truck, Willy? -Welcome to the Thunderdome, bitch. 465 00:24:41,234 --> 00:24:43,236 [SIREN WAILING] 466 00:24:43,403 --> 00:24:46,073 Settle down and give her a chance to catch her breath. 467 00:24:46,239 --> 00:24:49,701 Hey, come here. You all right? 468 00:24:50,410 --> 00:24:52,245 Come on. 469 00:24:58,418 --> 00:25:02,422 -Now you okay? -I am now. 470 00:25:02,589 --> 00:25:03,757 Good. 471 00:25:04,383 --> 00:25:05,717 [KIDS LAUGHING] 472 00:25:07,719 --> 00:25:10,097 Just a little hazing, newbie. You're good. 473 00:25:10,263 --> 00:25:12,474 Can't believe you didn't see that coming. 474 00:25:12,641 --> 00:25:16,436 Hey, guys, put those noodles down. Hey. 475 00:25:16,728 --> 00:25:19,398 Ha-ha-ha. Who did that, the bubbles in the whistle? 476 00:25:19,564 --> 00:25:21,942 I haven't seen that in years. That's funny. 477 00:25:22,734 --> 00:25:24,444 ♪ Darling, don't you go away ♪ 478 00:25:24,611 --> 00:25:26,113 Oh--! 479 00:25:26,279 --> 00:25:30,242 Mayonnaise? In my sunscreen bottle? Come on, guys, I'm not that pale. 480 00:25:30,450 --> 00:25:31,910 You are a true doofus. 481 00:25:33,120 --> 00:25:34,913 She's so stupid. 482 00:25:35,372 --> 00:25:38,458 KIDS: Poop! Poop! Poop! Poop! Poop! Poop! 483 00:25:38,625 --> 00:25:40,627 Newbie, poo patrol. 484 00:25:41,712 --> 00:25:47,676 Ha, ha, ha. Very funny. How very Caddyshack of you. 485 00:25:49,886 --> 00:25:52,639 -What did she mean by Caddyshack? -Don't know. 486 00:25:52,806 --> 00:25:55,142 It's not poop. It's not poop. I'm getting hazed. 487 00:25:55,308 --> 00:25:57,269 You know what that means? 488 00:25:57,436 --> 00:25:59,479 What is it, you guys, Baby Ruth? 489 00:26:00,147 --> 00:26:03,984 Snickers? It's very convincing, Willy. I'm impressed. 490 00:26:04,151 --> 00:26:08,238 -Oh, no. She's not gonna-- -Dude, she's gonna. 491 00:26:11,950 --> 00:26:12,993 [GAGS] 492 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,495 ALL: Oh... 493 00:26:15,662 --> 00:26:17,748 [SQUEALS] 494 00:26:17,914 --> 00:26:19,499 [LAUGHING] 495 00:26:22,461 --> 00:26:23,462 Get out of my way! 496 00:26:25,505 --> 00:26:28,175 Oh, my God. I've never seen that before. 497 00:26:28,341 --> 00:26:31,303 That's not even on Faces of Death or any of that shit. 498 00:26:31,470 --> 00:26:33,847 [KIDS CHATTERING & LAUGHING] 499 00:26:34,014 --> 00:26:38,310 I fucking like this girl. That was awesome, newbie. 500 00:26:38,477 --> 00:26:40,312 [♪♪♪] 501 00:26:46,693 --> 00:26:49,488 Both the boys and girls locker rooms are clean, okay? 502 00:26:49,654 --> 00:26:51,531 It's not really fair you made me do both. 503 00:26:51,698 --> 00:26:54,785 -Yeah, well, life's not fair, newbie. -You got that right. 504 00:26:56,077 --> 00:26:57,621 No! 505 00:26:58,622 --> 00:27:01,208 -Brandy, help-- -Not falling for it. 506 00:27:03,126 --> 00:27:05,128 [♪♪♪] 507 00:27:13,053 --> 00:27:15,472 [GASPS THEN COUGHS] 508 00:27:20,185 --> 00:27:22,854 -You really don't know how to swim? -I hate the water. 509 00:27:23,021 --> 00:27:25,899 -What's wrong with you? -Don't tell anybody. I'll lose my job. 510 00:27:26,066 --> 00:27:28,735 You should lose your job. That is so irresponsible. 511 00:27:28,902 --> 00:27:32,155 -I'm gonna call the Parks Department. -Oh, no, no, no. Hey, hey. 512 00:27:32,322 --> 00:27:35,408 Brandy? Let's not tell anybody. Let's pretend it didn't happen. 513 00:27:35,951 --> 00:27:38,829 You want me to lie? My dad is a judge. 514 00:27:38,995 --> 00:27:42,833 Shit, shit, shit. Look, I'll learn, okay? I'll learn how to swim. 515 00:27:42,999 --> 00:27:45,001 You know what? Hey, you can teach me. 516 00:27:45,168 --> 00:27:48,046 Seems like something you'd be into. You're bossy and stuff. 517 00:27:48,213 --> 00:27:51,383 You like to order people around. Come on, okay? Please? 518 00:27:51,591 --> 00:27:53,426 I can't lose my job, please. 519 00:27:56,763 --> 00:28:00,267 Fine, but I charge $6.25 an hour, cash. 520 00:28:00,433 --> 00:28:02,644 -Shit. -And no more hazing. 521 00:28:02,811 --> 00:28:07,065 Okay, no more hazing, $6.25 an hour. Hey, Brandy. Hey, deal. 522 00:28:07,607 --> 00:28:10,277 Deal. Whoo! 523 00:28:10,443 --> 00:28:13,864 -Okay, that's it, that's it. That's it. -Hey, come on. 524 00:28:14,030 --> 00:28:17,075 Hey. You're still gonna teach me how to swim, right? 525 00:28:17,242 --> 00:28:21,037 Brand? Where's your towel? I need to dry off. 526 00:28:21,329 --> 00:28:22,122 ♪ Come on ♪ ♪ Let's talk about sex, baby ♪ 527 00:28:22,122 --> 00:28:23,790 ♪ Come on ♪ ♪ Let's talk about sex, baby ♪ 528 00:28:23,957 --> 00:28:26,877 ♪ Let's talk about you and me ♪ 529 00:28:27,043 --> 00:28:29,713 Okay, Pancake, you made that list like a week ago. 530 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:32,674 When are you gonna grow a pair and do something on it? 531 00:28:32,841 --> 00:28:35,218 Lay off, Fiona. Some people are just slow learners. 532 00:28:35,385 --> 00:28:39,556 I'm not a slow learner. I got a five on my advanced-placement tests. 533 00:28:39,723 --> 00:28:41,308 Oh, right. 534 00:28:41,474 --> 00:28:45,312 And it just so happens, I plan on getting... 535 00:28:45,729 --> 00:28:47,898 finger-banged tonight. 536 00:28:48,064 --> 00:28:51,776 -I think it's finger-blasted. -No, it's finger-bombed, bitches. 537 00:28:51,943 --> 00:28:56,656 Okay, well, whatever it is, I'm going to do it tonight. 538 00:28:57,324 --> 00:28:59,075 All right. 539 00:29:00,493 --> 00:29:02,954 Just how exactly do you know when to do it? 540 00:29:03,121 --> 00:29:05,707 -You'll be like wet and stuff. -You'll be wet and stuff. 541 00:29:05,874 --> 00:29:08,335 Make sure to tell the guy how wet you are. They love that. 542 00:29:08,501 --> 00:29:10,462 The guy's gonna be doing most of the work. 543 00:29:10,629 --> 00:29:12,631 Yeah, but most guys suck at it. 544 00:29:12,797 --> 00:29:14,674 When Ross Peterson tried to finger me, 545 00:29:14,841 --> 00:29:16,676 it was like he was digging for loose change. 546 00:29:16,843 --> 00:29:19,012 Like dimes between couch cushions. 547 00:29:19,179 --> 00:29:20,555 ♪ Let's talk about sex ♪♪ 548 00:29:20,722 --> 00:29:22,682 Sounds terrible. 549 00:29:22,849 --> 00:29:24,142 [DOORBELL RINGS] 550 00:29:24,809 --> 00:29:27,437 Ohh. What's up, my bitches? 551 00:29:28,647 --> 00:29:30,315 What happened to your fingers? 552 00:29:30,482 --> 00:29:34,444 Burnt the shit out of them lighting off some cherry bombs. It's gnarly, right? 553 00:29:35,862 --> 00:29:38,281 FIONA: Hey. Get in here. 554 00:29:38,698 --> 00:29:41,368 Get it together, Klark. 555 00:29:41,534 --> 00:29:45,246 Women get fingered every day. It's not that big of a deal. 556 00:29:45,413 --> 00:29:47,540 Come on. 557 00:29:48,875 --> 00:29:50,168 [SIGHS] 558 00:29:50,335 --> 00:29:52,337 [HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 559 00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,142 What? You want some? 560 00:30:06,309 --> 00:30:07,727 Yeah, I want some. 561 00:30:12,315 --> 00:30:14,901 Oh! I'm such a goof. 562 00:30:18,488 --> 00:30:20,949 All over my shirt. 563 00:30:26,997 --> 00:30:28,081 Sorry. 564 00:30:30,083 --> 00:30:33,420 -Did you just double wash? -Yeah. 565 00:30:38,091 --> 00:30:39,551 [MAZZY STAR'S "FADE INTO YOU" PLAYING] 566 00:30:39,718 --> 00:30:41,219 [BOTH MOANING] 567 00:30:41,386 --> 00:30:44,931 -Ow. Wait, wait, wait. -What? What? 568 00:30:45,598 --> 00:30:48,268 -Oh, my God, do I have beer breath? -No. 569 00:30:49,519 --> 00:30:51,021 Just let me kiss you back. 570 00:30:52,397 --> 00:30:53,940 Right. 571 00:30:54,482 --> 00:30:56,776 Yeah, I knew that. 572 00:30:57,610 --> 00:30:58,862 Sorry. 573 00:31:06,077 --> 00:31:10,623 ♪ I want to take a breath that's true ♪♪ 574 00:31:14,461 --> 00:31:17,922 [HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 575 00:31:21,593 --> 00:31:23,470 I'm winning. 576 00:31:23,636 --> 00:31:26,389 Do you think I should try and scam with Duffy? 577 00:31:26,556 --> 00:31:28,349 No. Stop. 578 00:31:28,516 --> 00:31:29,559 [DUFFY GRUNTS] 579 00:31:29,726 --> 00:31:32,604 It's just the wine coolers talking, man. You can't hold your liquor. 580 00:31:33,104 --> 00:31:35,482 But we have so much history. 581 00:31:35,648 --> 00:31:39,277 You guys dated for like a week in the eighth grade. 582 00:31:39,444 --> 00:31:44,449 I know, but I think I just never stopped loving him. 583 00:31:44,616 --> 00:31:47,077 -Sega's my shit. -WENDY: I like your shirt. 584 00:31:47,243 --> 00:31:51,081 I love hypercolor on you. So cool. 585 00:31:53,625 --> 00:31:56,836 I'm so wet. Touch me. 586 00:32:01,841 --> 00:32:06,012 ♪ I look to you to see the truth ♪ 587 00:32:09,516 --> 00:32:11,351 I said I'm wet. Finger me already. 588 00:32:11,518 --> 00:32:15,855 I will. Is it shorts or a skirt? 589 00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:19,192 Neither, they're skorts. 590 00:32:22,070 --> 00:32:23,196 Over or under? 591 00:32:25,281 --> 00:32:28,326 -Under. -You sure? 592 00:32:28,493 --> 00:32:29,786 Yes. 593 00:32:29,953 --> 00:32:34,666 ♪ Some kind of night Into your darkness ♪♪ 594 00:32:38,503 --> 00:32:40,672 BRANDY: But I'm definitely not calling it a "blast." 595 00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:44,843 Let's call it a "finger bomb," emphasis on the "bomb." 596 00:32:45,009 --> 00:32:46,052 Well, how did it feel? 597 00:32:46,219 --> 00:32:48,221 [♪♪♪] 598 00:32:53,059 --> 00:32:54,894 Kind of like an itch you can't scratch. 599 00:32:55,228 --> 00:32:56,229 Mm-hm. 600 00:32:56,396 --> 00:32:58,398 [♪♪♪] 601 00:32:59,858 --> 00:33:05,363 -Oh. Look, "How to find your G spot." -Hey, can I see that? Give it. 602 00:33:05,864 --> 00:33:07,574 Can you watch the pool for a minute? 603 00:33:09,159 --> 00:33:11,369 -Do you guys masturbate? -BOTH: No. 604 00:33:11,536 --> 00:33:13,663 -What? -That's gross. 605 00:33:13,830 --> 00:33:16,082 Really? You've never touched yourself down there? 606 00:33:16,416 --> 00:33:20,962 -Well, maybe I straddled the couch. -Only when I can't sleep. 607 00:33:22,046 --> 00:33:26,843 It says here that women should "flick the bean" as much as the guys do. 608 00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:30,054 "Forty percent of women never climax during sex 609 00:33:30,221 --> 00:33:33,141 because the guy can't find their G spot." This is a travesty. 610 00:33:35,935 --> 00:33:38,396 Ladies, we must take charge of our own sexual gratification. 611 00:33:38,563 --> 00:33:42,901 -Ow! What the--? -Get away from me. Get away, perv. 612 00:33:44,068 --> 00:33:45,512 He put his finger up my ass. 613 00:33:45,536 --> 00:33:47,864 I have to put "masturbate" on the list now. 614 00:33:48,031 --> 00:33:50,033 [♪♪♪] 615 00:33:52,911 --> 00:33:54,704 [BRANDY PANTING] 616 00:34:14,390 --> 00:34:17,810 I'm not a quitter. I am not a quitter. 617 00:34:17,977 --> 00:34:20,772 Come on, Klark. Come on. 618 00:34:21,314 --> 00:34:23,316 [♪♪♪] 619 00:34:24,192 --> 00:34:26,444 -UVA protection. -That's right. 620 00:34:26,611 --> 00:34:28,613 -UVP protection. -Yes. 621 00:34:28,780 --> 00:34:30,865 -Hypoallergenic. -It better be. 622 00:34:31,032 --> 00:34:33,034 -Waterproof. -Oh, God. 623 00:34:33,201 --> 00:34:35,078 -Non-greasy formula. -Yes. 624 00:34:35,245 --> 00:34:36,287 Soothing aloe vera. 625 00:34:36,454 --> 00:34:37,538 [PHONE RINGING] 626 00:34:37,705 --> 00:34:41,417 Yes! Aloe vera! Yeah! Aloe vera! Yes! 627 00:34:47,173 --> 00:34:49,759 -Privacy, please. -Phone call, ass wipe. 628 00:34:49,926 --> 00:34:52,053 Make it quick. Chip's calling from Vegas. 629 00:34:52,220 --> 00:34:56,683 -What, between lap dances? -Ha, ha. Phish is playing a show there. 630 00:34:56,849 --> 00:34:59,811 -Were you humping a pillow? -None of your business. 631 00:35:00,311 --> 00:35:02,188 Loser. 632 00:35:07,193 --> 00:35:10,822 Please be Rusty. Please be Rusty. Please be Rusty. 633 00:35:11,447 --> 00:35:14,367 -This is Brandy. -CAMERON: Hey, Brandy, it's Cameron. 634 00:35:14,534 --> 00:35:16,995 Oh, hi, Cameron. I can't really talk right now. 635 00:35:17,161 --> 00:35:20,832 My stupid sister is expecting a phone call from her idiot boyfriend. 636 00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:23,710 -AMBER: Uh-- Fiancé. -Correction, fiancé. 637 00:35:23,876 --> 00:35:26,170 -Get off the line, Amber. -Eat me. 638 00:35:26,337 --> 00:35:30,508 -Hurry up, Cameron. -I was wondering if Brandy wanted to-- 639 00:35:30,675 --> 00:35:34,470 I mean, if you, Brandy, wanted to go out on a date. 640 00:35:39,684 --> 00:35:41,561 -Sure. Why not? -AMBER: Why not? 641 00:35:41,728 --> 00:35:44,188 -What kind of shit answer is that? -Be quiet, Amber. 642 00:35:44,355 --> 00:35:46,316 Don't you have a dick to suck or something? 643 00:35:46,482 --> 00:35:50,153 -Several. Unlike you, fucktard. -Cluck you, Amber. 644 00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:53,239 Cluck? Say "fuck," you loser. Get-- No! 645 00:35:53,406 --> 00:35:55,199 -Don't touch me. -BRANDY: Let go! 646 00:35:55,366 --> 00:35:57,076 Mom! 647 00:35:57,243 --> 00:35:58,536 [BRANDY & AMBER SCREAMING OVER PHONE] 648 00:35:58,703 --> 00:35:59,954 AMBER: Shut up--! 649 00:36:00,121 --> 00:36:02,123 [LINE DISCONNECTS] 650 00:36:05,918 --> 00:36:08,046 Dude, what did she say? 651 00:36:10,923 --> 00:36:14,135 Wait. Why we doing the dance? Why we doing the dance? 652 00:36:14,302 --> 00:36:16,346 What happened? The Cam-Cam dancing? 653 00:36:16,512 --> 00:36:19,140 She said yes. Well, technically, she said "why not." 654 00:36:19,307 --> 00:36:22,118 But you know what, I asked her out on a date, she said yes 655 00:36:22,142 --> 00:36:23,269 and it's a "date" date. 656 00:36:23,436 --> 00:36:26,731 It's a motherfucking "date" date. You're doing the "date-date" date! 657 00:36:27,148 --> 00:36:28,691 -Gonna get his dick all wet. -CAMERON: Ow! 658 00:36:28,858 --> 00:36:31,361 -What am I gonna wear? -Not that. 659 00:36:31,527 --> 00:36:35,198 -Why? It's just Cameron. -It doesn't matter, Pancake, who it is. 660 00:36:35,365 --> 00:36:37,617 You can't keep dressing like Tracey Gold. 661 00:36:39,035 --> 00:36:41,162 -Do you wanna borrow my new vest? -Maybe. 662 00:36:41,329 --> 00:36:43,581 No. No. Look. 663 00:36:44,332 --> 00:36:47,710 I rummaged, ah, 664 00:36:47,877 --> 00:36:49,921 through my aunt's closet, 665 00:36:50,129 --> 00:36:53,174 and she's a divorcée, so she's really lonely. 666 00:36:53,341 --> 00:36:56,594 But she dresses like she's 20, even though she's 30. 667 00:36:56,761 --> 00:36:58,888 -Ugh. -Look, right? 668 00:36:59,055 --> 00:37:03,810 -Wow. I like that. -Mm-hm. Feel it. It's like half-silk. 669 00:37:03,976 --> 00:37:07,814 -So, what are you guys gonna do? -Oh. I was thinking dry hump. 670 00:37:07,980 --> 00:37:10,191 -Whoa. Ha, ha. -Oh, God, no. 671 00:37:10,358 --> 00:37:12,402 She meant, where you guys gonna go? 672 00:37:12,568 --> 00:37:14,946 Oh, we're going to the movies. 673 00:37:15,154 --> 00:37:16,614 Forget dry hump. 674 00:37:16,781 --> 00:37:19,909 -Hand job. -All the way. 675 00:37:20,660 --> 00:37:23,329 HOT DOG [OVER SPEAKERS]: Hold on till I absorb some heat. 676 00:37:23,496 --> 00:37:26,541 Some added tang might please you too. 677 00:37:26,707 --> 00:37:29,752 I'll slide into an oven-fresh bun 678 00:37:29,919 --> 00:37:33,005 and I'm ready for your eating fun. 679 00:37:33,172 --> 00:37:36,551 MAN: Why don't you try a juicy-good hot dog? 680 00:37:36,717 --> 00:37:38,886 Mm. Delicious. 681 00:37:39,053 --> 00:37:41,055 [CHEWING NOISILY] 682 00:37:43,182 --> 00:37:46,686 [FEMALE ANNOUNCER TALKING OVER SPEAKERS] 683 00:37:46,853 --> 00:37:49,355 -[WHISPERS] What are you doing? -[WHISPERS] What do you think? 684 00:37:50,189 --> 00:37:51,899 FEMALE ANNOUNCER: Smoking is not permitted in this auditorium. 685 00:37:52,066 --> 00:37:56,863 Oh. Ooh. Aah. 686 00:37:57,029 --> 00:37:58,823 -Shh! -My bad. 687 00:37:59,532 --> 00:38:02,869 -How am I doing? -You're doing really good. 688 00:38:03,035 --> 00:38:06,205 I thought so. I felt some pre-cum. 689 00:38:06,372 --> 00:38:09,333 I was worried I was gonna have to spit on my hand 690 00:38:09,500 --> 00:38:12,086 but you seem to be progressing quite nicely. 691 00:38:12,795 --> 00:38:17,800 FEMALE ANNOUNCER: No gum-chewing. No necking and no talking. 692 00:38:17,967 --> 00:38:20,553 Why'd you stop? What? 693 00:38:25,141 --> 00:38:26,184 Excuse me. 694 00:38:37,069 --> 00:38:39,363 -[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY] -[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 695 00:38:40,656 --> 00:38:42,742 [PHONE RINGING] 696 00:38:43,367 --> 00:38:45,912 Chip, you're in deep shit. It's been two weeks. 697 00:38:46,078 --> 00:38:48,956 -Is Mom home? It's a medical emergency. -No. Bye. 698 00:38:49,207 --> 00:38:50,374 -Wait. -What? 699 00:38:50,541 --> 00:38:53,669 I need your expertise. 700 00:38:55,588 --> 00:38:57,089 I'm listening. 701 00:38:57,757 --> 00:38:59,008 Okay. 702 00:38:59,217 --> 00:39:03,262 -So I'm giving a guy a hand job-- -Now? Gross. Get off the phone. 703 00:39:03,429 --> 00:39:05,765 No, not "now" now. He's in the theater. 704 00:39:05,932 --> 00:39:08,100 You left him? You're gonna give him blue balls. 705 00:39:08,267 --> 00:39:10,186 You'll make him sterile. Finish him off. 706 00:39:10,353 --> 00:39:13,356 Ship. But I don't know how. 707 00:39:13,523 --> 00:39:16,859 There's a weird extra skin. Doesn't look like it did in health class. 708 00:39:17,026 --> 00:39:20,613 What? He's not circumcised? What are his parents, like hippies? 709 00:39:20,780 --> 00:39:23,991 -I don't know. Will you just help me? -All right. Calm down. 710 00:39:24,242 --> 00:39:26,786 This is what you do with the pig in the blanket. 711 00:39:29,413 --> 00:39:31,290 [TIRES SCREECHING OVER SPEAKERS] 712 00:39:31,457 --> 00:39:33,459 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING] 713 00:39:36,462 --> 00:39:37,630 [WHISPERING] Everything okay? 714 00:39:37,797 --> 00:39:39,382 -Did I do something wrong? -[WHISPERS] No. 715 00:39:39,549 --> 00:39:41,050 Are you sure? 716 00:39:42,301 --> 00:39:43,511 [ZIPPER OPENS] 717 00:39:48,766 --> 00:39:51,477 -Is that butter? Oh! -Uh-huh. 718 00:39:53,479 --> 00:39:54,647 [MOANS] 719 00:39:55,064 --> 00:39:56,816 Do something. 720 00:39:59,860 --> 00:40:02,989 -Do you want me to touch you? -No. 721 00:40:04,782 --> 00:40:07,994 Oh. Oh. 722 00:40:08,369 --> 00:40:11,998 I paid $5 for this. Okay? They're ruining it. 723 00:40:12,164 --> 00:40:13,332 [PANTING] 724 00:40:15,042 --> 00:40:19,171 [MUMBLING] 725 00:40:19,505 --> 00:40:21,674 -[IN NORMAL VOICE] I love you! -MAN [OVER SPEAKERS]: Aah! 726 00:40:21,841 --> 00:40:25,094 -Shh! -[WHISPERS] Sorry. 727 00:40:25,261 --> 00:40:27,513 [PANTING] 728 00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:29,515 Oh, my God. 729 00:40:31,892 --> 00:40:33,269 My, oh, my. 730 00:40:36,314 --> 00:40:37,773 AMBER: Make sure you get more SnackWells. 731 00:40:37,940 --> 00:40:40,067 I got it, honey. Number one on the list. 732 00:40:40,318 --> 00:40:42,111 -Good morning. -MRS. KLARK: Hi, honey. 733 00:40:42,278 --> 00:40:46,282 Amber. Mother. Why are some men not circumcised? 734 00:40:46,449 --> 00:40:48,367 Oh, come on. It's 9 a.m. 735 00:40:48,534 --> 00:40:51,704 I think the better question is, why are men circumcised at all? 736 00:40:52,204 --> 00:40:57,543 Now see, most boys become circumcised at birth, right when they're newborn. 737 00:40:57,710 --> 00:40:59,837 Some parents do it for religious reasons, 738 00:41:00,004 --> 00:41:02,965 others do it because they feel it's more hygienic. 739 00:41:03,132 --> 00:41:08,387 But the uncircumcised penis, see that? See that turtle neck there? 740 00:41:08,554 --> 00:41:10,681 -Mom. I'm eating. -You should see this too. 741 00:41:10,848 --> 00:41:13,392 You're getting married. That cow neck-- 742 00:41:13,559 --> 00:41:18,564 -There? -Mm-hm. That is very, very sensitive. 743 00:41:18,731 --> 00:41:20,441 And now if you remove that, 744 00:41:20,608 --> 00:41:23,653 then you're actually reducing a man's sexual pleasure. 745 00:41:24,612 --> 00:41:26,238 -That's terrible. -Isn't that awful? 746 00:41:26,405 --> 00:41:28,407 -Does it hurt? -That's a good question. 747 00:41:28,574 --> 00:41:31,494 -What's a good question? -Did it hurt when you got circumcised? 748 00:41:31,661 --> 00:41:33,996 -I'm late for work. -No coffee? 749 00:41:34,330 --> 00:41:35,373 Bye, Daddy. 750 00:41:39,043 --> 00:41:41,420 Hey, let me get that for you. 751 00:41:42,254 --> 00:41:43,756 Thanks. 752 00:41:45,216 --> 00:41:48,052 It's the least I can do. Watch your step. You look fantastic. 753 00:41:48,219 --> 00:41:51,847 Miss Chardine. You little minx. Come here, you. Let me take that. 754 00:41:52,014 --> 00:41:53,933 -Thanks. -RUSTY: Someone's using her Ab Roller. 755 00:41:54,100 --> 00:41:57,186 Let me tell you something, ladies. Men have a one-track mind. 756 00:41:57,353 --> 00:42:00,022 Flash a little skin and they're like putty in your... 757 00:42:00,189 --> 00:42:02,608 WILLY: Like you're a car. I'm gonna fill you up with oil 758 00:42:02,775 --> 00:42:04,527 or put it all over your body. 759 00:42:04,694 --> 00:42:05,778 RUSTY: No, Willy, I got this. 760 00:42:05,945 --> 00:42:11,450 [EN VOGUE'S "MY LOVIN' (YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GET IT)" PLAYING] 761 00:42:11,617 --> 00:42:13,452 This will do. 762 00:42:14,078 --> 00:42:16,372 ♪ Never, ever gonna get itNot this time ♪ 763 00:42:16,539 --> 00:42:18,791 ♪ No, you're never gonna get it My lovin' ♪ 764 00:42:18,958 --> 00:42:22,461 ♪ Never, ever gonna get it No, you're never gonna get it ♪ 765 00:42:22,628 --> 00:42:24,630 ♪ Ow Never, ever gonna get it ♪ 766 00:42:25,131 --> 00:42:27,091 -New suit? -What, this old thing? 767 00:42:27,633 --> 00:42:28,676 ♪ My lovin' ♪ 768 00:42:28,843 --> 00:42:31,137 ♪ Never, ever gonna get it ♪ 769 00:42:33,097 --> 00:42:34,432 No cuts. 770 00:42:37,476 --> 00:42:41,647 ♪ You never was this nice You can't fool me ♪ 771 00:42:41,814 --> 00:42:46,360 ♪ It doesn't matter what you do Or what you say ♪ 772 00:42:46,527 --> 00:42:50,614 ♪ She doesn't love you, no way ♪ 773 00:42:51,490 --> 00:42:55,327 ♪ Maybe next time You'll give your woman a little respect ♪ 774 00:42:55,494 --> 00:43:00,124 ♪ So you won't be hearing her say No way ♪♪ 775 00:43:00,291 --> 00:43:02,334 [WATER SPLASHING] 776 00:43:03,961 --> 00:43:07,131 -Ready to rotate? -Sure. 777 00:43:07,298 --> 00:43:09,508 Might wanna put your top back on first, though. 778 00:43:11,093 --> 00:43:12,762 Oh, my God. 779 00:43:13,929 --> 00:43:15,347 [KIDS LAUGHING] 780 00:43:15,514 --> 00:43:19,518 Well, if it isn't the president of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee. 781 00:43:19,685 --> 00:43:21,937 KID: Itty Bitty Titty Committee. 782 00:43:24,190 --> 00:43:26,192 You guys, give it back. 783 00:43:26,358 --> 00:43:28,736 I'm the president of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee. 784 00:43:28,903 --> 00:43:32,031 -You guys, give it back now. -WILLY: You look like a little boy. 785 00:43:32,531 --> 00:43:36,035 Ha-ha-ha. Oh, my God. I have bigger boobs than you. 786 00:43:37,161 --> 00:43:38,788 [WILLY & KIDS LAUGHING] 787 00:43:38,954 --> 00:43:41,457 BOY: Bet you didn't see that one coming. 788 00:43:44,001 --> 00:43:48,464 Women in Europe go topless all the time. So deal with it. 789 00:43:48,631 --> 00:43:51,383 -But they have boobs. -Big deal. 790 00:43:51,550 --> 00:43:52,885 [YORTOISE'S "THE SMARTEST STUPIDEST GIRL" PLAYING] 791 00:43:53,052 --> 00:43:54,678 [LAUGHS] 792 00:43:54,845 --> 00:43:58,265 What, Jenna, your kids never seen tits before? What? 793 00:43:58,432 --> 00:44:02,937 -That chick is crazy. -Yeah, I know what you mean. 794 00:44:03,103 --> 00:44:05,105 I like it. 795 00:44:06,524 --> 00:44:08,192 What do you mean, you like it? 796 00:44:08,359 --> 00:44:10,528 Dad, guess what. 797 00:44:10,986 --> 00:44:19,912 ♪ Just the smartest stupidest girl I know Her head won't let that stuff all go ♪♪ 798 00:44:20,079 --> 00:44:23,249 BRANDY: Good, that's it. There you go. 799 00:44:23,415 --> 00:44:25,042 Just blow little bubbles. 800 00:44:26,085 --> 00:44:28,379 Little itty bitty bubbles? Ha-ha-ha. 801 00:44:28,546 --> 00:44:30,923 -Fine. -I can't swim. You're killing me. 802 00:44:31,340 --> 00:44:33,509 -I can't swim. -You're in four feet of water. 803 00:44:33,676 --> 00:44:35,719 God, you're such a jerk. 804 00:44:39,765 --> 00:44:41,600 You're right, I'm a jerk. 805 00:44:44,103 --> 00:44:46,021 You still have no tits. 806 00:44:46,814 --> 00:44:48,065 [SIGHS] 807 00:44:48,232 --> 00:44:49,775 -Relax. -Okay. 808 00:44:49,942 --> 00:44:52,194 If you keep tensing up, you're gonna sink. 809 00:44:52,945 --> 00:44:53,946 Hey, look at that. 810 00:44:54,113 --> 00:44:55,656 [LAUGHS] 811 00:44:55,823 --> 00:44:59,702 Hey. Hey, I'm floating. Whoo. 812 00:45:00,452 --> 00:45:02,288 Whoo! 813 00:45:02,454 --> 00:45:07,084 [♪♪♪] 814 00:45:07,251 --> 00:45:09,003 -It's weird, huh? -Yeah. 815 00:45:09,169 --> 00:45:11,171 It's like the minute you give up control, 816 00:45:11,338 --> 00:45:14,133 you just know what to do without doing anything. 817 00:45:16,135 --> 00:45:17,803 Thought about taking your own advice? 818 00:45:17,970 --> 00:45:19,346 What's that supposed to mean? 819 00:45:19,513 --> 00:45:22,016 Well, don't take this the wrong way, but, you know, 820 00:45:22,182 --> 00:45:25,227 sometimes you can be super bossy 821 00:45:25,394 --> 00:45:28,898 and totally annoying and, you know, kind of a bitch. 822 00:45:30,274 --> 00:45:32,985 You should take it down a notch. Or 12. 823 00:45:36,196 --> 00:45:37,907 I'm sorry. 824 00:45:38,824 --> 00:45:41,827 -I don't mean to come off that way. -See, that was really good. 825 00:45:41,994 --> 00:45:46,832 It's, like, you were sad and I started to feel bad for you. Are you crying? 826 00:45:46,999 --> 00:45:50,336 No. God, you just called me a bitch. 827 00:45:50,711 --> 00:45:52,838 See, now you're starting to bum me out again. 828 00:45:53,005 --> 00:45:56,508 Yo, butt munch. You want that ride or not? Let's go. 829 00:45:56,675 --> 00:45:59,011 Coming, Amber. 830 00:46:00,012 --> 00:46:03,515 Willy, this is Amber, my sister. Amber, Willy, my boss. 831 00:46:03,682 --> 00:46:07,519 Hey. Amber Klark. No way. 832 00:46:08,312 --> 00:46:11,148 I was a senior when you were a freshman. 833 00:46:11,315 --> 00:46:13,192 Oh. I thought you were the custodian. 834 00:46:13,359 --> 00:46:14,360 [CHUCKLES] 835 00:46:14,526 --> 00:46:17,488 Everybody thought I was the custodian. So you guys are sisters? 836 00:46:17,655 --> 00:46:19,156 You two are nothing alike. 837 00:46:19,323 --> 00:46:21,200 -Thank you. -Thank you. 838 00:46:21,367 --> 00:46:23,702 -I'm gonna get my stuff. -Hurry up, fucktard. 839 00:46:23,869 --> 00:46:26,372 -I don't wanna miss Home Improvement. -Shut up, Amber. 840 00:46:26,538 --> 00:46:30,084 -You shut up. -Ha, ha. Home Improvement. Hey. 841 00:46:30,876 --> 00:46:33,379 -Howdy, neighbor. -I'm not your neighbor. 842 00:46:33,545 --> 00:46:36,215 I was doing Wilson, the neighbor in Home Improvement. 843 00:46:36,590 --> 00:46:39,593 -Whatever. -Could you give me a towel? 844 00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:40,844 No. 845 00:46:41,011 --> 00:46:44,306 MRS. KLARK: I've been wanting to have this conversation with you for a long time 846 00:46:44,473 --> 00:46:47,476 but I wasn't sure if you were mature enough to handle it. 847 00:46:48,102 --> 00:46:52,106 I lost my virginity when I was 17 848 00:46:52,272 --> 00:46:54,316 with Tucker Brooks. 849 00:46:55,484 --> 00:46:59,905 -You mean, I wasn't your first? -No. 850 00:47:00,072 --> 00:47:03,409 -Was I your second? -No. We met junior year in college. 851 00:47:03,575 --> 00:47:05,661 -Don't be silly. -So where did--? 852 00:47:05,828 --> 00:47:07,913 Where did you and Tucker Brooks do it? 853 00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:09,915 In the vagina, but that's not important. 854 00:47:10,082 --> 00:47:13,335 -No, I meant as in a location. -Oh. Oh. 855 00:47:13,502 --> 00:47:15,546 -I assume the vagina. -Oh. Oh. Oh. 856 00:47:16,422 --> 00:47:18,757 -Beaver Creek. -Like in the back seat of a car? 857 00:47:20,092 --> 00:47:23,595 -Mostly. -I never went to Beaver Creek. 858 00:47:23,762 --> 00:47:26,140 -You didn't? -No, I told you. 859 00:47:26,306 --> 00:47:29,601 -My first time was with you. -But you were so good. 860 00:47:29,768 --> 00:47:32,855 Thanks. I read Penthouse. 861 00:47:33,022 --> 00:47:35,816 [CRYING] 862 00:47:37,109 --> 00:47:40,195 Why didn't I think of that? Doy. 863 00:47:40,362 --> 00:47:41,947 [♪♪♪] 864 00:47:47,202 --> 00:47:52,875 Whoa. Look at the afro on this snatch. It's the biggest thing I've ever seen. 865 00:47:53,333 --> 00:47:56,462 Did they not have Nair in the '70s? Why are their boobs so small? 866 00:47:56,628 --> 00:47:58,797 -Because they're real? -Weird. 867 00:48:00,340 --> 00:48:03,135 It's the worst feeling. It's like a tiny boxer is, like, 868 00:48:03,677 --> 00:48:08,390 boom, one nut, two nut, three-- Just pounding away at your nuts. 869 00:48:08,557 --> 00:48:09,975 What do you think they're talking about? 870 00:48:10,142 --> 00:48:11,977 [TALKING INDISTINCTLY] 871 00:48:12,144 --> 00:48:15,064 I don't know. Stupid stuff. Probably about their periods. 872 00:48:15,230 --> 00:48:17,983 How much they like chocolate. Anyway, blue balls is real. 873 00:48:18,150 --> 00:48:20,152 -Somebody should do something. -Mm. 874 00:48:20,694 --> 00:48:23,322 -You guys, Rusty just looked at me, -Huh? 875 00:48:24,114 --> 00:48:26,325 And then whispered something to Derrick. 876 00:48:26,492 --> 00:48:28,827 What do you think they're talking about? 877 00:48:28,994 --> 00:48:30,162 [♪♪♪] 878 00:48:30,329 --> 00:48:31,497 Hey. 879 00:48:31,663 --> 00:48:33,999 -You wanna keep it? -You want your snorkel back? 880 00:48:34,166 --> 00:48:37,503 -Find out what Rusty's talking about. -Find out what they're talking about. 881 00:48:37,669 --> 00:48:40,339 -Be secretive, and come back and tell us. -Done. 882 00:48:40,506 --> 00:48:42,841 -Pronto. -Fine. 883 00:48:44,635 --> 00:48:47,387 So, Pancake, are you ready to knock "blowjob" off that list? 884 00:48:49,181 --> 00:48:50,891 I think so. 885 00:48:51,058 --> 00:48:53,435 WENDY: There's some really good articles in here. 886 00:48:53,602 --> 00:48:54,686 FIONA: I'm not reading. 887 00:48:54,853 --> 00:48:58,023 Mm. You should check out page 47. 888 00:48:59,358 --> 00:49:02,694 It says that if a guy drinks pineapple juice 889 00:49:03,654 --> 00:49:06,615 his semen will taste sweet. Isn't that weird? 890 00:49:07,533 --> 00:49:10,869 RUSTY: I'm playing a set at the Koffee Klatch this Saturday. You should come. 891 00:49:11,036 --> 00:49:14,790 I know it's not a big venue like the Moose or anything, but, uh, 892 00:49:14,957 --> 00:49:15,999 a gig's a gig. 893 00:49:16,166 --> 00:49:19,044 -Did you highlight this? -Brandy, you can't swallow. 894 00:49:19,211 --> 00:49:21,797 -Why? -Do you know how many calories jizz has? 895 00:49:23,340 --> 00:49:25,384 You must get so much pussy with that guitar. 896 00:49:27,177 --> 00:49:30,305 Totally. Why else would I play this thing? 897 00:49:32,099 --> 00:49:34,226 Rusty's playing Cats at the Moose on Saturday. 898 00:49:34,393 --> 00:49:35,894 Cats? 899 00:49:36,854 --> 00:49:38,355 I love that musical. 900 00:49:38,522 --> 00:49:39,773 [HOUSE OF LOVE'S "I DON'T KNOW WHY I LOVE YOU" PLAYING] 901 00:49:39,940 --> 00:49:42,651 If you drink pineapple juice, she'll give you a blowjob. 902 00:49:49,158 --> 00:49:51,410 You guys want me to get you some pineapple juice? 903 00:49:51,910 --> 00:49:54,204 -Yes. Yes. -Yes. Yes, that'd be nice. 904 00:49:55,455 --> 00:49:58,375 -We have to go to that show. -CAMERON: Hey, Brandy. 905 00:49:58,542 --> 00:49:59,751 Hey, Cameron. 906 00:49:59,918 --> 00:50:02,921 So I would love to take you out this weekend. 907 00:50:03,088 --> 00:50:04,590 Sleepless in Seattle is playing. 908 00:50:04,756 --> 00:50:07,759 I don't know about you, but I love anything with Meg Ryan. 909 00:50:07,926 --> 00:50:10,679 Yeah, it sure would suck to miss that. 910 00:50:10,846 --> 00:50:13,307 -See you later, Pancake. -Bye, guys. 911 00:50:13,473 --> 00:50:15,601 So I'll pick you up at 8? 912 00:50:15,767 --> 00:50:17,102 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 913 00:50:17,269 --> 00:50:19,938 Knock, knock. Laundry delivery. 914 00:50:20,105 --> 00:50:21,190 Whatever. 915 00:50:21,356 --> 00:50:22,941 [SHAYNE BLUE'S "GOODBYE" PLAYING SOFTLY OVER SPEAKERS] 916 00:50:23,108 --> 00:50:25,944 Don't worry, I washed your Wonderbras on delicate. 917 00:50:26,111 --> 00:50:29,781 I wasn't sure how to fold your G-strings. There's not much to them, huh? 918 00:50:29,948 --> 00:50:31,283 That's the point. 919 00:50:31,450 --> 00:50:32,951 [LAUGHS] 920 00:50:33,327 --> 00:50:34,411 Right. 921 00:50:34,578 --> 00:50:38,582 Mm. Your lotion smells really nice. What is that, vanilla? 922 00:50:38,749 --> 00:50:41,251 -Strawberries and cream. -Mm. 923 00:50:41,418 --> 00:50:42,461 Why are you being nice? 924 00:50:42,628 --> 00:50:45,714 I know how stressed out you are, planning a wedding and everything. 925 00:50:45,881 --> 00:50:49,676 I just thought I should help out my big sis. 926 00:50:50,719 --> 00:50:53,555 God, you know what? It is stressful. 927 00:50:53,722 --> 00:50:56,975 You've no idea how hard it is trying to find a hot wedding dress. 928 00:50:57,142 --> 00:51:00,145 -Everything is ankle length. -I know, right? 929 00:51:00,312 --> 00:51:01,313 [SCOFFS] 930 00:51:01,813 --> 00:51:04,983 So, what are your plans for after this summer? 931 00:51:05,150 --> 00:51:08,403 -I'm marrying Chippy. -Duh. I mean for work, Amber. 932 00:51:08,570 --> 00:51:11,073 You didn't go to college for your MRS degree. 933 00:51:11,240 --> 00:51:12,866 AMBER: Planning a wedding is a job. 934 00:51:13,033 --> 00:51:15,744 Besides, after we're married, Chippy will take care of me. 935 00:51:15,911 --> 00:51:19,581 Amber, a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. 936 00:51:19,748 --> 00:51:22,417 You can support yourself. You don't need a man to do that. 937 00:51:22,584 --> 00:51:24,670 ♪ Has the past overthrown you? ♪♪ 938 00:51:24,836 --> 00:51:30,759 -Wow. Those things really work. -And that's why I don't have to. 939 00:51:31,551 --> 00:51:35,013 Mm-hm. Yeah. Like that. 940 00:51:35,180 --> 00:51:37,182 [BAND PLAYING "QUARANTINE"] 941 00:51:43,563 --> 00:51:46,275 I don't understand why this band is still playing. 942 00:51:46,441 --> 00:51:49,111 Rusty should be up. 943 00:51:49,278 --> 00:51:50,988 I'm gonna find out what's going on. 944 00:51:51,154 --> 00:51:52,406 -FIONA: Okay. -WENDY: Cool. 945 00:51:52,572 --> 00:51:58,203 ♪ I broke up today In pieces ♪ 946 00:51:58,370 --> 00:51:59,413 BRANDY: Excuse me. 947 00:51:59,621 --> 00:52:02,833 ♪ I don't know my name ♪ 948 00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:04,710 Excuse me. Hi. 949 00:52:04,876 --> 00:52:07,629 I know you're singing, but I don't know who else to ask. 950 00:52:07,796 --> 00:52:11,049 Do you know if Rusty Waters' Acoustic Experience is on next? 951 00:52:11,216 --> 00:52:12,634 ♪ I wanna burn ♪ 952 00:52:12,801 --> 00:52:15,470 Just nod your head yes. Are they on after you? 953 00:52:16,013 --> 00:52:18,390 ♪ Does anybody wanna Take a little piece of me? ♪ 954 00:52:18,557 --> 00:52:20,392 -Was that a yes? -Get up here. 955 00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:22,894 [CROWD WHOOPS] 956 00:52:23,061 --> 00:52:25,856 ♪ Does anybody wanna End up sleeping with the fleas? ♪ 957 00:52:26,189 --> 00:52:30,068 ♪ Does anybody wanna Live inside a quarantine with me? ♪ 958 00:52:30,235 --> 00:52:34,740 Oh, my God, Fiona. Oh, my God. Look over there. 959 00:52:34,990 --> 00:52:37,701 ♪ Does anybody wanna End up sleeping with the fleas? ♪ 960 00:52:38,410 --> 00:52:40,662 No fucking way! 961 00:52:40,829 --> 00:52:43,957 ♪ Does anybody wanna Take a little piece of me? ♪ 962 00:52:44,207 --> 00:52:46,335 Oh, my God. Who are you? 963 00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:48,003 Hi. 964 00:52:48,170 --> 00:52:49,838 ♪ Does anybody wanna Live inside a quarantine? ♪ 965 00:52:50,005 --> 00:52:55,218 ♪ Tell me that you told me so When I end up all alone ♪ 966 00:52:55,552 --> 00:53:06,730 ♪ Tell me that you told me so When I end up all alone ♪♪ 967 00:53:07,314 --> 00:53:09,858 [CROWD WHOOPING AND CHEERING] 968 00:53:10,025 --> 00:53:13,236 Thanks, Boise. Clinton sucks. Perot in '96. 969 00:53:13,403 --> 00:53:16,281 Free Tibet, if you're not too busy. 970 00:53:16,448 --> 00:53:21,411 And also thank you for the opportunity for having me dance. 971 00:53:21,578 --> 00:53:22,829 [DOORBELL RINGS] 972 00:53:26,458 --> 00:53:28,752 -Good evening, Miss Klark. Judge. -Hi. 973 00:53:28,919 --> 00:53:31,004 -Who are you? -George, this is Cameron, 974 00:53:31,171 --> 00:53:33,006 Brandy's study buddy. 975 00:53:33,340 --> 00:53:35,092 -Hi. -So is Brandy ready? 976 00:53:35,675 --> 00:53:39,721 Oh. I'm sorry, I think there might be some mistake. 977 00:53:39,888 --> 00:53:43,934 Classic. Nerd got stood up. I guess nice guys do come in last. 978 00:53:44,101 --> 00:53:45,727 Aww. Heh, heh. 979 00:53:45,894 --> 00:53:48,647 -You can say that again. -George, will you give it a rest? 980 00:53:48,814 --> 00:53:50,482 That was 20 years ago. 981 00:53:52,484 --> 00:53:56,530 -So she's not here? -Oh, jeez, Kirk, come on in. 982 00:53:56,696 --> 00:53:58,073 -Cameron. -It's Cameron. 983 00:53:58,240 --> 00:53:59,991 Who's Cameron? 984 00:54:01,493 --> 00:54:05,705 MRS. KLARK: I'm sure Brandy will be back soon. Just make yourself at home. 985 00:54:05,872 --> 00:54:07,874 [CLAY BIRDS' "FREE" PLAYING] 986 00:54:08,917 --> 00:54:10,293 [SIGHS] 987 00:54:10,460 --> 00:54:14,005 ♪ Hello, do you remember me? ♪ 988 00:54:14,172 --> 00:54:15,215 [DOOR CLOSES] 989 00:54:15,382 --> 00:54:20,554 ♪ I'm the one who was with you When you were free ♪ 990 00:54:20,720 --> 00:54:24,516 ♪ Hello, do you think about me? ♪ 991 00:54:25,392 --> 00:54:30,355 ♪ I was the one, say you do Say you do when you couldn't see ♪ 992 00:54:32,232 --> 00:54:37,070 ♪ I would have come alone With you ♪ 993 00:54:38,280 --> 00:54:40,949 ♪ But I knew just what you'd do ♪ 994 00:54:41,116 --> 00:54:43,577 CAMERON: "French kiss, make out, 995 00:54:43,743 --> 00:54:46,913 finger bomb, no skorts, 996 00:54:47,664 --> 00:54:49,374 hand job Cameron." 997 00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:52,502 ♪ What I wanted to ♪♪ 998 00:54:54,754 --> 00:54:56,715 What the hell? 999 00:54:56,882 --> 00:54:59,009 [ELASTICA'S "STUTTER" PLAYING] 1000 00:54:59,551 --> 00:55:03,346 -Drink up, boys, and follow me. -Whoo-hoo! 1001 00:55:11,855 --> 00:55:13,273 [ALL CHUCKLING] 1002 00:55:14,232 --> 00:55:15,859 ♪ No need to whine, boy ♪ 1003 00:55:16,026 --> 00:55:18,570 ♪ Like a wend-up toy You stutter at my feet ♪♪ 1004 00:55:18,737 --> 00:55:21,031 Why'd they buy us pineapple juice? 1005 00:55:21,198 --> 00:55:23,074 I think they're Mormons, bro. 1006 00:55:23,617 --> 00:55:25,535 GIRL: Look at me, guys. 1007 00:55:26,161 --> 00:55:27,913 [GIRLS CHATTERING AND LAUGHING] 1008 00:55:29,915 --> 00:55:31,249 You might be right. 1009 00:55:33,168 --> 00:55:35,962 Bass has four strings, guitar has six. 1010 00:55:36,129 --> 00:55:39,716 -The bass covers the lower end of the-- -Okay, shut up. 1011 00:55:39,883 --> 00:55:43,053 ♪ It was a friend of a friend So over you bend ♪ 1012 00:55:43,220 --> 00:55:46,723 ♪ Now you don't talk to either one ♪ 1013 00:55:46,890 --> 00:55:48,683 ♪ And the barb from the rose ♪ 1014 00:55:48,850 --> 00:55:50,769 ♪ Took some skin off your nose ♪ 1015 00:55:50,936 --> 00:55:53,605 ♪ You don't give in to anything ♪ 1016 00:55:55,398 --> 00:55:59,778 I'm sorry. I just feel so bad for him. 1017 00:56:09,829 --> 00:56:13,959 ♪ You've been driving all day From a mile away ♪♪ 1018 00:56:15,627 --> 00:56:17,629 So wet in here. 1019 00:56:19,297 --> 00:56:21,258 Are you gonna come in? 1020 00:56:21,424 --> 00:56:27,013 Can't. Dyed my hair this morning. Can't get it wet for 48 hours. 1021 00:56:30,642 --> 00:56:32,644 Well, that's a shame 1022 00:56:33,436 --> 00:56:38,024 because a hot shower sounds really nice right about now. 1023 00:56:39,025 --> 00:56:40,819 If you ask me. 1024 00:56:43,488 --> 00:56:47,158 VAN: Uh, señorita, you are so amorous. 1025 00:56:47,325 --> 00:56:51,663 Your energy is just electric, you know? Heh. 1026 00:56:51,830 --> 00:56:55,584 Life on the road is so treacherous, you know? 1027 00:56:55,750 --> 00:56:58,295 Never would've thought touring the Pacific Northwest 1028 00:56:58,461 --> 00:57:00,088 would be so harrowing-- 1029 00:57:00,255 --> 00:57:02,424 Are you gonna talk the whole time I blow you? 1030 00:57:02,591 --> 00:57:07,012 I'm trying to figure this out. I think I have to breathe through my nose. Shh! 1031 00:57:07,345 --> 00:57:09,306 -Apologies. -Thank you. 1032 00:57:09,472 --> 00:57:13,852 I'm a musical wordsmith, honey. Lamenting is what I do. 1033 00:57:14,060 --> 00:57:16,855 And telling the troubadour's tale is what I do best-- 1034 00:57:17,022 --> 00:57:19,024 [MOANING] 1035 00:57:25,196 --> 00:57:26,865 [VAN MOANING] 1036 00:57:33,079 --> 00:57:34,205 Showers. 1037 00:57:34,372 --> 00:57:38,543 ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ 1038 00:57:38,710 --> 00:57:43,048 ♪ Oh, oh Through the valleys of Joshua trees ♪♪ 1039 00:57:43,214 --> 00:57:45,550 [YELLS THEN GRUNTING] 1040 00:57:45,717 --> 00:57:46,843 What the fuck? 1041 00:57:48,511 --> 00:57:51,056 Brandy. Who's this guy? 1042 00:57:53,099 --> 00:57:55,226 Brandy, answer me. What are you doing here? 1043 00:57:56,311 --> 00:58:00,732 -Mm. -Open your mouth and answer me. 1044 00:58:04,486 --> 00:58:06,571 Did it taste like pineapple juice? 1045 00:58:06,738 --> 00:58:10,659 Shut up. Just shut up. I-- You two just stay apart. 1046 00:58:10,825 --> 00:58:12,911 You guys over there, you guys over here. 1047 00:58:13,078 --> 00:58:15,333 Dude, these are like little girls, all right? 1048 00:58:15,357 --> 00:58:16,581 What were you thinking? 1049 00:58:16,748 --> 00:58:21,753 Brandy, you're being totally, totally irresponsible, okay? 1050 00:58:24,756 --> 00:58:26,091 [SCOFFS] 1051 00:58:28,843 --> 00:58:30,178 Wow. 1052 00:58:30,345 --> 00:58:33,598 That's some good shit, man. Her dad is a judge, 1053 00:58:33,765 --> 00:58:35,433 -dude. -What? 1054 00:58:35,600 --> 00:58:37,602 This one, her dad's a judge. 1055 00:58:37,769 --> 00:58:41,856 A judge? Who do you think you are, Lolita? 1056 00:58:42,399 --> 00:58:47,195 I mean, you lured me in, you sought me out 1057 00:58:47,362 --> 00:58:50,365 and then you lie to me? What's that about? 1058 00:58:51,157 --> 00:58:53,368 Oh, that's good. 1059 00:58:54,619 --> 00:58:56,705 -I think I just wrote a song. -Whoa. 1060 00:58:56,871 --> 00:58:58,748 -To the van. -All right. 1061 00:59:00,583 --> 00:59:04,129 -That was cool. -Bye. Love your music. 1062 00:59:04,796 --> 00:59:07,132 There's a gate right there. I don't know why you-- 1063 00:59:07,298 --> 00:59:08,967 All right. 1064 00:59:09,634 --> 00:59:13,138 Hey, hey, hey. Girls, I'm not done. These guys are 10 years older than you. 1065 00:59:13,304 --> 00:59:15,640 -What are you doing? -Oh, my God. 1066 00:59:16,015 --> 00:59:18,810 Willy, do you live here? Are you homeless? 1067 00:59:18,977 --> 00:59:23,606 Yes, I'm a homeless American. Stop it. I shouldn't be seeing you guys like this. 1068 00:59:23,773 --> 00:59:26,818 Brandy, what are you thinking? 1069 00:59:26,985 --> 00:59:29,237 What would've happened tonight if I wasn't here? 1070 00:59:29,404 --> 00:59:31,990 Um... I think I would've swallowed. 1071 00:59:32,282 --> 00:59:33,324 [BOTH LAUGH] 1072 00:59:33,491 --> 00:59:36,995 -BRANDY: I'm serious. -I just got that, and that's not funny. 1073 00:59:37,203 --> 00:59:39,998 -It's not funny at all, okay? -BRANDY: Come on, Willy. 1074 00:59:40,206 --> 00:59:42,625 Let's see how funny it is when I call your folks. 1075 00:59:42,792 --> 00:59:44,502 -No. -WILLY: Okay? Hey. hey. 1076 00:59:44,669 --> 00:59:48,423 You guys should be at home in bed, in flannel pajamas, 1077 00:59:48,590 --> 00:59:51,342 not floundering around in your underwear-- 1078 00:59:51,509 --> 00:59:53,678 I don't know your number. I don't know who I called. 1079 01:00:03,855 --> 01:00:07,192 -BRANDY: What a night. -CAMERON: You can say that again. 1080 01:00:08,818 --> 01:00:11,780 -What are you doing here? -We had a date. 1081 01:00:12,614 --> 01:00:16,075 Or were you so busy with your stupid scam list that you forgot all about it? 1082 01:00:16,868 --> 01:00:19,204 Cameron, that's private. Give that back to me. 1083 01:00:19,871 --> 01:00:23,291 Cameron. That's private. Give it back. 1084 01:00:23,458 --> 01:00:28,046 -You cheat on me? -No. Cheat? We're not even together. 1085 01:00:28,213 --> 01:00:30,799 We're not together because I'm breaking up with you. 1086 01:00:30,965 --> 01:00:33,384 You can't break up with me, we were never going out. 1087 01:00:33,551 --> 01:00:38,181 Brandy, you gave me a hand job. Doesn't that mean anything to you? 1088 01:00:38,515 --> 01:00:39,682 No, it's a hand job. 1089 01:00:39,849 --> 01:00:41,851 [SIGHING] 1090 01:00:43,061 --> 01:00:47,398 -I told you that I love you. -You meant that? 1091 01:00:50,485 --> 01:00:54,614 [VOICE BREAKING] Brandy, how could you do this to me? 1092 01:00:54,781 --> 01:00:58,576 I work with you, I study with you, I fingered you. 1093 01:00:58,743 --> 01:01:02,330 At any point you could've told me that you were just using me. 1094 01:01:02,497 --> 01:01:05,750 I wonder if I'll ever be able to enjoy a hand job again. 1095 01:01:05,917 --> 01:01:09,379 Cameron, don't say that. 1096 01:01:09,921 --> 01:01:12,590 I'm probably gonna have erectile dysfunction. 1097 01:01:12,757 --> 01:01:14,801 Camster. 1098 01:01:14,968 --> 01:01:18,721 -It was just a misunderstanding. -Don't touch me. 1099 01:01:18,888 --> 01:01:20,348 [♪♪♪] 1100 01:01:21,099 --> 01:01:22,892 I hope you get AIDS. 1101 01:01:23,059 --> 01:01:24,060 [SCOFFS] 1102 01:01:24,227 --> 01:01:26,104 Cameron! 1103 01:01:26,771 --> 01:01:28,773 [SOBBING] 1104 01:01:35,113 --> 01:01:37,782 Welcome to Big Bun. Can I take your order? 1105 01:01:38,408 --> 01:01:40,076 Cameron wants me to die of AIDS. 1106 01:01:41,327 --> 01:01:43,454 And can I get a milkshake? 1107 01:01:43,621 --> 01:01:44,664 [CAR HORN HONKING] 1108 01:01:44,831 --> 01:01:47,542 -Come on, we're waiting here. -Shit. All right, man. 1109 01:01:47,709 --> 01:01:51,254 I cannot believe he is letting a hand job come between our friendship. 1110 01:01:51,421 --> 01:01:53,464 He should be happy that you jerked him off. 1111 01:01:53,631 --> 01:01:56,050 -Especially with his condition. -Yeah. 1112 01:01:56,217 --> 01:01:59,262 I didn't know he "like" liked me. How am I supposed to know? 1113 01:01:59,429 --> 01:02:01,472 I'm not a mind reader. I'm not a gypsy. 1114 01:02:01,639 --> 01:02:05,143 -Do you, like, "like" like him back? -I don't know. 1115 01:02:05,351 --> 01:02:09,314 It's Cameron. I don't think about him like that. 1116 01:02:10,231 --> 01:02:12,317 But, you guys, he was... 1117 01:02:13,276 --> 01:02:15,153 crying. 1118 01:02:15,612 --> 01:02:18,990 -I think I really hurt him. -Dude, he's just being a little baby. 1119 01:02:19,157 --> 01:02:21,743 Guys mess around and girls just have to put up with it? 1120 01:02:21,910 --> 01:02:23,494 -Yeah. -It's bullshit. 1121 01:02:23,661 --> 01:02:25,496 When I sprained my ankle in gym class, 1122 01:02:25,663 --> 01:02:28,082 Duffy square danced with, like, three other girls. 1123 01:02:28,249 --> 01:02:30,084 -He did not. -WENDY: I had to sit and watch. 1124 01:02:30,251 --> 01:02:34,005 Oh, my God. You broke up three years ago. Get over it. 1125 01:02:34,172 --> 01:02:36,174 It still hurts, Fiona. 1126 01:02:36,382 --> 01:02:40,637 It's like Gloria Steinem says, "You're either the virgin or the whore." 1127 01:02:40,803 --> 01:02:41,846 FIONA: Well, you know what? 1128 01:02:42,013 --> 01:02:45,308 One of those sounds a lot funner than the other one. 1129 01:02:45,475 --> 01:02:47,352 Yeah. The whore. 1130 01:02:47,518 --> 01:02:50,188 Maybe this whole scam-list thing was a stupid idea. 1131 01:02:50,355 --> 01:02:53,775 No, you can't give up now. You worked too hard to get to this point. 1132 01:02:53,942 --> 01:02:56,819 -You can't back out now. -Think about all you've accomplished. 1133 01:02:56,986 --> 01:02:58,988 You've gotten more action this last month 1134 01:02:59,155 --> 01:03:01,950 -than your entire high school career. -That's true. 1135 01:03:02,367 --> 01:03:04,035 You're right. 1136 01:03:04,202 --> 01:03:05,244 [♪♪♪] 1137 01:03:05,411 --> 01:03:07,246 [SIGHS] 1138 01:03:07,413 --> 01:03:09,874 I deserve to get fucked by Rusty. 1139 01:03:10,041 --> 01:03:11,876 She made a scam list? 1140 01:03:12,293 --> 01:03:13,336 [SNIFFLING] 1141 01:03:13,503 --> 01:03:17,048 A list of sexual experiments to do with guys. 1142 01:03:17,757 --> 01:03:19,217 She used me, man. 1143 01:03:19,384 --> 01:03:23,471 Like she could just jerk me off without ever even committing. 1144 01:03:24,430 --> 01:03:28,184 -That is terrible. Any old guy? -Yup. 1145 01:03:28,351 --> 01:03:30,520 Oh, he's such a dick, he's such a dick. 1146 01:03:30,687 --> 01:03:32,730 -No, he's not a dick, Duffy. -He is. 1147 01:03:32,897 --> 01:03:36,859 -No, he's like one of my best friends. -I know. Me too. 1148 01:03:37,026 --> 01:03:38,987 You have to believe me, I didn't mean to hurt him. 1149 01:03:39,153 --> 01:03:41,656 -I know you didn't. -Why would I do that on purpose? 1150 01:03:41,823 --> 01:03:44,909 -You would never. You're an angel. -He told me he wanted me to die. 1151 01:03:45,076 --> 01:03:47,161 -He's a meanie. He's a dick. -He's not a dick. 1152 01:03:47,328 --> 01:03:50,164 But don't worry, Duffy's here to make it all better. 1153 01:03:50,331 --> 01:03:51,582 [ED GRAVES' "PEARL NECKLACE" PLAYING SOFTLY OVER SPEAKERS] 1154 01:03:51,749 --> 01:03:55,086 Why are you referring to yourself in the third person? 1155 01:03:56,295 --> 01:03:59,590 Oh-- Duffy. Duffy, stop. 1156 01:03:59,757 --> 01:04:02,760 What? I just invited you over to make you feel better. 1157 01:04:03,511 --> 01:04:05,179 What's on your neck? 1158 01:04:06,472 --> 01:04:09,934 Nothing. Just a little hickey that 1159 01:04:10,101 --> 01:04:13,396 Kitty Randall gave to me when we dry humped the other night. 1160 01:04:13,563 --> 01:04:15,523 -What's dry hump? -Ahem. 1161 01:04:15,690 --> 01:04:20,445 It's actually kind of complicated. I'd have to show you. 1162 01:04:22,488 --> 01:04:26,617 -Okay. You can show me. -You're just gonna let me hump you? 1163 01:04:26,784 --> 01:04:27,785 Yes. 1164 01:04:27,952 --> 01:04:30,121 [BRANDY & DUFFY PANTING] 1165 01:04:30,288 --> 01:04:32,290 [DUFFY MOANS] 1166 01:04:32,915 --> 01:04:35,293 DUFFY: It's all right. It's all right. 1167 01:04:35,501 --> 01:04:37,545 My mother's cats. Mother's cats. 1168 01:04:37,712 --> 01:04:38,513 I'm sorry. 1169 01:04:38,537 --> 01:04:40,965 I'm still hard. Let's keep going. Oh, yeah. 1170 01:04:41,507 --> 01:04:43,301 -DUFFY: You've never done this before? -No. 1171 01:04:43,468 --> 01:04:45,136 -Feels so good. -Yes. 1172 01:04:47,513 --> 01:04:49,223 Shut the fuck up. 1173 01:04:49,390 --> 01:04:50,391 No way, dude. 1174 01:04:50,558 --> 01:04:53,561 We dry humped last night all over my room. 1175 01:04:53,728 --> 01:04:57,315 -She's writing a sex manual or something. -Sex manual? 1176 01:04:57,774 --> 01:04:59,525 -All right. -Uh-huh. 1177 01:05:00,151 --> 01:05:01,486 Thank you. 1178 01:05:06,657 --> 01:05:08,743 Uh, hey, you got plans tonight? 1179 01:05:08,910 --> 01:05:10,912 Um... 1180 01:05:12,163 --> 01:05:16,667 [LOUDLY] I don't know, Derrick. Do we have plans tonight? 1181 01:05:18,336 --> 01:05:19,337 Uh... 1182 01:05:19,962 --> 01:05:22,799 -Sure. -Ha-ha-ha. 1183 01:05:23,549 --> 01:05:25,760 You're so funny. Ha-ha-ha. 1184 01:05:27,303 --> 01:05:29,597 Walk me to my bike. 1185 01:05:29,764 --> 01:05:31,849 I did not say anything. 1186 01:05:35,394 --> 01:05:37,814 -Hey, where you going? -I need some air. 1187 01:05:37,980 --> 01:05:39,982 But it's an outdoor pool. 1188 01:05:41,567 --> 01:05:43,444 I need air. 1189 01:05:45,279 --> 01:05:46,697 [COLLEEN GRACE ROURKE'S "GLASS BOTTLE" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 1190 01:05:46,864 --> 01:05:48,699 Welcome to Big Bun. May I help you? 1191 01:05:48,866 --> 01:05:51,077 Double order of fish sticks, a large RC Cola 1192 01:05:51,244 --> 01:05:53,955 and would either of you like to go out on a date? 1193 01:05:59,001 --> 01:06:02,380 -I will. -Whoa. Sisters before misters. 1194 01:06:02,588 --> 01:06:06,050 Oh. What? Come on, give me a break. Brandy doesn't own Cameron, okay? 1195 01:06:06,217 --> 01:06:09,387 And she said herself that she doesn't, like, "like" like him. 1196 01:06:09,595 --> 01:06:11,180 So it's an open playing field. 1197 01:06:11,973 --> 01:06:14,433 I've never been with someone who wasn't circumcised, 1198 01:06:14,600 --> 01:06:17,061 and I wanna see if it's as gross as she says. 1199 01:06:17,228 --> 01:06:18,896 CAMERON: I can hear you. 1200 01:06:19,981 --> 01:06:23,025 ♪ Can he move, whoa ♪♪ 1201 01:06:23,192 --> 01:06:26,654 Hello? Hello? 1202 01:06:26,946 --> 01:06:32,160 Fiona, I can see you right now. Is every woman in this world--? Aah! 1203 01:06:32,827 --> 01:06:35,413 You know what? Forget it. Forget it. 1204 01:06:35,663 --> 01:06:37,582 Stupid car won't work. 1205 01:06:37,748 --> 01:06:39,250 [CELINA GRAVES' "RAYON SUMMER" PLAYING] 1206 01:06:39,417 --> 01:06:44,505 ♪ It's a hot rayon summer Too hot for school ♪♪ 1207 01:06:44,672 --> 01:06:47,008 Let me get this straight, 1208 01:06:47,175 --> 01:06:49,468 you wanna go down on me? 1209 01:06:51,053 --> 01:06:54,891 Yeah, because I just got dumped because I suck dick at eating pussy. 1210 01:06:55,057 --> 01:06:57,268 I just thought that if I practice, 1211 01:06:57,435 --> 01:07:00,104 then I could keep it from happening again. 1212 01:07:00,271 --> 01:07:02,773 It's a lot harder than you think. I don't know. 1213 01:07:02,940 --> 01:07:04,734 You know what? Forget this. Forget it. It's-- 1214 01:07:04,901 --> 01:07:06,277 Shh. 1215 01:07:06,944 --> 01:07:08,404 You had me at "eating pussy." 1216 01:07:10,781 --> 01:07:12,867 You had me at "eating pussy." 1217 01:07:13,576 --> 01:07:14,785 [♪♪♪] 1218 01:07:14,952 --> 01:07:17,079 -Uh-huh. -DERRICK: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 1219 01:07:17,246 --> 01:07:20,082 Right. Okay. 1220 01:07:20,291 --> 01:07:21,292 Up a smidge. 1221 01:07:21,459 --> 01:07:23,377 [DERRICK SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 1222 01:07:23,544 --> 01:07:25,713 Okay, down a tad. 1223 01:07:25,880 --> 01:07:28,132 Yeah. Okay. Yeah, right there. 1224 01:07:28,299 --> 01:07:30,468 -BOY: It's not working. -Yeah, it's working. 1225 01:07:30,676 --> 01:07:33,387 -BOY: No, it's not. -Yeah, it's really working. 1226 01:07:33,554 --> 01:07:36,891 BOY: No, it's not. My video won't play, Derrick. 1227 01:07:37,475 --> 01:07:38,809 DERRICK: Was that good? 1228 01:07:39,977 --> 01:07:41,145 Oh. Ow. Mm. 1229 01:07:41,312 --> 01:07:43,814 -Is the TV on channel three? -Yes. 1230 01:07:43,981 --> 01:07:47,443 -Well, make sure it's set to VCR, man. -Okay. 1231 01:07:49,403 --> 01:07:52,323 -What you doing? -DERRICK: Looking for my keys. 1232 01:07:52,490 --> 01:07:54,825 You need some help? I mean, I can always help. 1233 01:07:54,992 --> 01:07:57,495 -No. -I know, buddy, I know. Just get out. 1234 01:07:57,662 --> 01:07:59,247 All right, guys. 1235 01:08:00,289 --> 01:08:01,666 [DOOR CLOSES] 1236 01:08:02,500 --> 01:08:05,461 -I thought we were alone. -Who, Benji? 1237 01:08:05,836 --> 01:08:09,966 He doesn't count. He believes in monsters and shit. 1238 01:08:10,132 --> 01:08:12,760 -He's not a person. -Okay, fine. 1239 01:08:33,698 --> 01:08:35,449 [LINE RINGING] 1240 01:08:36,742 --> 01:08:39,537 -MR. MITCHELL: Mitchell residence. -Hello, Mr. Mitchell, it's Brandy. 1241 01:08:39,704 --> 01:08:40,997 Is Cameron there? 1242 01:08:41,163 --> 01:08:44,125 Yeah, I'm sorry, he's in his room with the door locked, 1243 01:08:44,292 --> 01:08:47,795 and he's listening to Sarah McLachlan. 1244 01:08:47,962 --> 01:08:51,340 -That bad, huh? -Yeah. I would tell him you called 1245 01:08:51,507 --> 01:08:54,552 but we're not saying your name around here. 1246 01:08:54,719 --> 01:08:57,638 Got it. Thanks anyways. 1247 01:08:57,805 --> 01:09:01,559 WENDY: It's a three-day rental, so we can watch it again tomorrow if you want. 1248 01:09:01,767 --> 01:09:03,811 -FIONA: I'm glad you talked me into this. -Whoo! 1249 01:09:03,978 --> 01:09:06,564 -So excited for Beaches. -Me too. 1250 01:09:06,772 --> 01:09:10,026 Guys, I brought Kleenex and stuff, just in case we get emotional. 1251 01:09:10,192 --> 01:09:14,155 -Yes, Wendy, we know. -What's after "titty fucked," cunni-what? 1252 01:09:14,322 --> 01:09:15,823 -Cunnilingus. -What is that? 1253 01:09:15,990 --> 01:09:19,243 It's when a man stimulates the female genitals with his mouth. 1254 01:09:19,410 --> 01:09:21,662 No shit. So Derrick ate you out? 1255 01:09:21,829 --> 01:09:25,750 Yeah. I prefer "cunnilingus," though. "Eat out" reminds me of fast food. 1256 01:09:25,916 --> 01:09:28,711 Wow. Look at you. That's a step away from sex. 1257 01:09:28,878 --> 01:09:30,379 -Yeah, I know. -We should celebrate 1258 01:09:30,546 --> 01:09:33,591 -by watching Beaches. -So, um... 1259 01:09:33,758 --> 01:09:36,844 now that you're like hooking up with all these different guys, 1260 01:09:37,011 --> 01:09:39,680 is it cool if I go out with Cameron? 1261 01:09:40,973 --> 01:09:44,435 -What? Cameron asked you out? -He asked me out too, 1262 01:09:44,602 --> 01:09:47,104 but I said no because you're my best friend, 1263 01:09:47,271 --> 01:09:49,899 and best friends don't let boys get between them. 1264 01:09:50,649 --> 01:09:53,277 Speaking of that, it's time for Beaches. 1265 01:09:53,444 --> 01:09:56,280 -Yeah, Beaches. -WENDY: Yeah. 1266 01:09:56,447 --> 01:09:57,448 BRANDY: Are you pressing the right button? 1267 01:09:57,615 --> 01:09:58,616 WENDY: I think so. 1268 01:09:58,783 --> 01:10:01,786 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Did you dry hump Duffy? 1269 01:10:02,620 --> 01:10:04,497 -What? -Yeah. 1270 01:10:04,663 --> 01:10:08,292 -What? -He gave me two hickeys. One and one. 1271 01:10:08,459 --> 01:10:10,795 -Brandy. -Ow. 1272 01:10:10,961 --> 01:10:13,255 -You know I, like, "like" like Duffy. -Yeah. 1273 01:10:13,422 --> 01:10:16,467 -So? It's not like you're going out with him. -So? What is wrong with you? 1274 01:10:16,634 --> 01:10:20,805 -Why are you spazzing out? -Because it's ho's before bros, man. 1275 01:10:20,971 --> 01:10:22,223 You don't just go around 1276 01:10:22,390 --> 01:10:24,475 -hooking up with whoever. Pbbt! -Whomever. 1277 01:10:24,642 --> 01:10:27,144 You're going out with Cameron, so don't be a hypocrite. 1278 01:10:27,311 --> 01:10:30,147 Yeah, but I asked you first. That's the difference. 1279 01:10:30,314 --> 01:10:34,902 I cannot believe that you would choose a boy over our friendship. 1280 01:10:35,069 --> 01:10:37,988 -You don't deserve to watch Beaches. -FIONA: No, she doesn't. 1281 01:10:38,155 --> 01:10:39,323 [TAPE CLATTERING] 1282 01:10:39,490 --> 01:10:42,410 -Don't say that. -Let's go. Let's watch it at your place. 1283 01:10:42,576 --> 01:10:44,954 You guys. It's stuck, Wendy. 1284 01:10:45,121 --> 01:10:47,998 -Yeah, thanks, I can see that. -Take it. Let's go. 1285 01:10:48,165 --> 01:10:50,251 -Don't take my VCR. -FIONA: Come on. 1286 01:10:50,876 --> 01:10:53,963 -BRANDY: Wait. Come back. -You better hope that tape isn't ruined. 1287 01:10:54,130 --> 01:10:56,173 -Fiona, come on, don't be-- -No, I'm sorry, 1288 01:10:56,340 --> 01:11:00,010 I don't understand you because I don't speak slut. 1289 01:11:00,678 --> 01:11:02,513 [SCOFFS] 1290 01:11:02,763 --> 01:11:04,682 [♪♪♪] 1291 01:11:04,849 --> 01:11:08,352 -BRANDY: Willy, what happened? -WILLY: Same shit every summer. 1292 01:11:08,519 --> 01:11:12,148 Oak Crest Country Club pulls some stupid prank on us. 1293 01:11:12,356 --> 01:11:16,026 -It's an initiation for their new lifeguards. -BRANDY: I can't believe they did that. 1294 01:11:16,193 --> 01:11:18,529 You were here all night and you didn't hear them? 1295 01:11:18,696 --> 01:11:20,364 No. 1296 01:11:20,531 --> 01:11:24,326 God, man, Oak Crest, those guys are good. 1297 01:11:24,910 --> 01:11:28,664 Yeah. Yeah, that's a big kick in the nuts. 1298 01:11:28,831 --> 01:11:31,709 I'll have Rusty and Derrick put it back up when they get here. 1299 01:11:31,876 --> 01:11:35,212 What? No, Willy, we need to get them back. 1300 01:11:36,338 --> 01:11:42,011 Yeah, we need to get revenge. I mean, real revenge. 1301 01:11:42,678 --> 01:11:45,681 -You mean, like--? Like kill them? -What? 1302 01:11:45,848 --> 01:11:48,100 I think that's illegal. I know a guy with a gun-- 1303 01:11:48,267 --> 01:11:50,686 No, I mean like we need to get them where it hurts. 1304 01:11:51,729 --> 01:11:54,273 Come on, you're our boss, our leader. 1305 01:11:54,565 --> 01:11:57,985 This is your pool. If not you, then who? 1306 01:11:58,152 --> 01:11:59,528 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1307 01:11:59,695 --> 01:12:02,406 Let's take a big fucking dump on Oak Crest. 1308 01:12:02,573 --> 01:12:04,241 Let's get those fuckers. 1309 01:12:04,408 --> 01:12:07,244 Hey, Bernadette. What's the plan? 1310 01:12:07,411 --> 01:12:08,787 [♪♪♪] 1311 01:12:08,954 --> 01:12:12,750 WILLY: We're gonna blow this shit up. We're gonna burn it to the ground. 1312 01:12:12,917 --> 01:12:14,418 -Rock. -I see it, boss. 1313 01:12:14,585 --> 01:12:15,586 [LADDER CLANGING] 1314 01:12:15,753 --> 01:12:16,837 -Shh. -It's a fucking ladder, 1315 01:12:17,004 --> 01:12:18,047 it's gonna make noise. 1316 01:12:18,214 --> 01:12:20,716 Go, go, go. 1317 01:12:27,264 --> 01:12:30,726 Holy shit. That is a fucking slide. 1318 01:12:31,560 --> 01:12:34,271 All right, Cameron. All right. 1319 01:12:34,605 --> 01:12:35,606 [GRUNTS] 1320 01:12:35,773 --> 01:12:37,441 Nice. 1321 01:12:37,608 --> 01:12:41,445 BRANDY: Approaching perimeter. Cameron, what's your status? Over. 1322 01:12:41,612 --> 01:12:45,449 He's not talking to you right now. Over. Shit, this thing's hot. 1323 01:12:45,616 --> 01:12:49,453 You can't let personal issues get in the way of work. Act professional. Over. 1324 01:12:49,620 --> 01:12:53,791 You can't see him, but he's flipping you off right now. Over. 1325 01:12:53,999 --> 01:12:56,460 Whatever. Just get into position. Over. 1326 01:12:56,627 --> 01:13:01,048 It's fucking scary in here, man. What are you looking for? 1327 01:13:01,215 --> 01:13:02,967 Just some sort of knob. 1328 01:13:03,133 --> 01:13:06,303 Why do they have all these things in their pool? What does it do? 1329 01:13:06,470 --> 01:13:08,973 -We don't have any of these. -How do you not know this? 1330 01:13:09,306 --> 01:13:10,933 Come on. 1331 01:13:11,350 --> 01:13:12,768 [SIGHS] 1332 01:13:12,935 --> 01:13:14,770 Shit, there it is. 1333 01:13:15,479 --> 01:13:17,523 WILLY: All right, we found it. Over. 1334 01:13:26,448 --> 01:13:29,451 On my count, guys. In one, 1335 01:13:30,035 --> 01:13:32,162 -Ugh. -two, three. 1336 01:13:32,329 --> 01:13:34,832 Oh, yeah. Spin that bitch. 1337 01:13:41,046 --> 01:13:44,675 -That good? -How's that? 1338 01:13:44,842 --> 01:13:48,679 BRANDY: Guys, you have to see this. Come on out here. Even you, Cameron. Over. 1339 01:13:48,846 --> 01:13:50,180 Screw you, Brandy. 1340 01:13:53,809 --> 01:13:56,186 Shit, newbie, you are as smart as you think you are. 1341 01:13:56,353 --> 01:13:58,314 This is gonna be some serious payback. 1342 01:14:01,734 --> 01:14:04,236 -What? -Nothing. 1343 01:14:08,240 --> 01:14:11,660 -We doing this? -What? 1344 01:14:14,038 --> 01:14:16,707 -Come on. -Yeah. 1345 01:14:16,874 --> 01:14:18,042 Yeah, let's do this. 1346 01:14:19,877 --> 01:14:21,795 I'll just take my clothes off too. 1347 01:14:26,467 --> 01:14:27,676 Take your time. 1348 01:14:27,843 --> 01:14:30,304 Why don't you talk to her, instead of being a grumpy Gus? 1349 01:14:30,471 --> 01:14:32,723 -I am not a grumpy Gus. -Yes, you are. 1350 01:14:32,890 --> 01:14:34,725 -No, I'm not. -You wanna hear a riddle? 1351 01:14:34,892 --> 01:14:37,394 -Why did Eddie Vedder cross the road? -Why? 1352 01:14:37,561 --> 01:14:40,648 [IMITATING EDDIE VEDDER] To get to the other side. Hey, hey, hey! 1353 01:14:40,814 --> 01:14:41,899 Jeremy spoke! 1354 01:14:42,066 --> 01:14:43,192 Who's that supposed to be? 1355 01:14:43,359 --> 01:14:44,902 [IN NORMAL VOICE] Who's that? That's Eddie Vedder. 1356 01:14:45,069 --> 01:14:47,237 -That's not the face Vedder makes. -Have you seen the "Jeremy" video? 1357 01:14:47,488 --> 01:14:49,531 I've seen the "Jeremy" video, that's not the face he makes. 1358 01:14:49,698 --> 01:14:52,576 That is the face he makes. I get why Brandy wants nothing to do with you. 1359 01:14:52,743 --> 01:14:55,329 Fuck you, man. Bitch. 1360 01:14:56,330 --> 01:14:59,166 One, two, three. 1361 01:14:59,333 --> 01:15:00,417 [BOTH WHOOPING] 1362 01:15:00,584 --> 01:15:02,670 [HOUSE OF LOVE'S "I DON'T KNOW WHY I LOVE YOU" PLAYING] 1363 01:15:02,836 --> 01:15:04,254 [RUSTY LAUGHING] 1364 01:15:09,677 --> 01:15:13,180 -Oh, not again. -What is this? 1365 01:15:13,764 --> 01:15:17,768 -This thing is like a life preserver. -Jerk. Give it back. 1366 01:15:17,935 --> 01:15:21,563 You want it? Too bad. I like you better without it. 1367 01:15:21,730 --> 01:15:24,608 I cannot believe you just did that. 1368 01:15:24,775 --> 01:15:30,781 ♪ Don't know why I love you I don't know why I care ♪ 1369 01:15:30,948 --> 01:15:35,035 Excuse me. Better ask permission next time. 1370 01:15:35,703 --> 01:15:36,745 Next time? 1371 01:15:36,995 --> 01:15:40,082 ♪ But I don't know why I love you ♪ 1372 01:15:42,793 --> 01:15:44,962 [GRUNTING] 1373 01:15:45,129 --> 01:15:47,881 Fuck you, Oak Crest. Ha-ha-ha. 1374 01:15:49,299 --> 01:15:50,634 ♪ How can I get close to you ♪ 1375 01:15:50,801 --> 01:15:54,304 [CHEERING AND WHOOPING] 1376 01:15:54,471 --> 01:15:56,640 ♪ When you got no mercy No, you got no ♪ 1377 01:15:56,807 --> 01:15:58,100 WILLY: Busted. 1378 01:15:58,517 --> 01:16:01,478 I'm gonna take a shit in their fucking pool, man. 1379 01:16:01,937 --> 01:16:03,147 ♪ I don't know why I love you ♪♪ 1380 01:16:03,313 --> 01:16:04,440 [♪♪♪] 1381 01:16:10,320 --> 01:16:13,407 What happened here? 1382 01:16:16,326 --> 01:16:17,745 Um... 1383 01:16:20,998 --> 01:16:22,040 Oh... 1384 01:16:22,207 --> 01:16:25,836 You're gonna look me in the eye and deny all of this, huh? 1385 01:16:29,089 --> 01:16:30,466 That doesn't prove anything. 1386 01:16:36,638 --> 01:16:39,516 You wrote your name in this? Who does that? 1387 01:16:39,683 --> 01:16:41,685 I'm sorry. I'm going to college. 1388 01:16:41,852 --> 01:16:44,313 You're supposed to write your name on everything in case it gets lost. 1389 01:16:44,480 --> 01:16:48,525 Look, your little prank ruined our filtration system. 1390 01:16:48,692 --> 01:16:51,445 -Not our problem. -Well, it's gonna be your problem 1391 01:16:51,612 --> 01:16:54,698 when I report you to the Parks Department. 1392 01:16:54,865 --> 01:16:57,493 Hey, friend? Hey, buddy, don't do that, okay? Please. 1393 01:16:57,659 --> 01:17:01,371 Look, the only way I won't call them 1394 01:17:01,538 --> 01:17:05,125 is if you send a handwritten apology note, 1395 01:17:05,292 --> 01:17:07,544 you promise these pranks stop today, 1396 01:17:07,878 --> 01:17:09,880 and you fire old double-D here. 1397 01:17:10,506 --> 01:17:12,674 -No one's getting fired. -Brandy, you're fired. 1398 01:17:12,841 --> 01:17:15,552 I'm gonna have to go to Office Max for the other stuff. 1399 01:17:15,719 --> 01:17:21,308 Are you kidding me, Willy? I'm your best employee. I taught you how to swim. 1400 01:17:21,475 --> 01:17:23,811 -What? -I'm sorry, I can't lose my job. 1401 01:17:23,977 --> 01:17:25,229 This is unbelievable. 1402 01:17:25,395 --> 01:17:26,563 [GIN BLOSSOMS' "29" PLAYING] 1403 01:17:26,730 --> 01:17:31,026 All summer everyone's been telling me to loosen up and relax 1404 01:17:31,193 --> 01:17:33,779 and not think so much and... 1405 01:17:33,946 --> 01:17:35,739 Well, fuck that. 1406 01:17:36,573 --> 01:17:38,242 And fuck you too. 1407 01:17:40,244 --> 01:17:41,578 [DOOR CLOSES] 1408 01:17:42,454 --> 01:17:44,248 -Want a beer? -No. 1409 01:17:44,581 --> 01:17:48,961 ♪ Time won't stand by forever ♪ 1410 01:17:49,127 --> 01:17:52,047 ♪ if I know it's true ♪ 1411 01:17:53,215 --> 01:17:57,678 ♪ And I've learned not to say never♪ 1412 01:17:57,845 --> 01:18:00,806 ♪ Else I'll seem the fool ♪ 1413 01:18:02,057 --> 01:18:06,395 ♪ At 29 you'd think I'd know better♪ 1414 01:18:06,562 --> 01:18:09,439 ♪ Living like a kid ♪ 1415 01:18:12,025 --> 01:18:14,611 Oh, come on, don't look at me like that. 1416 01:18:15,279 --> 01:18:16,697 ♪ Is when I fall for it ♪ 1417 01:18:16,864 --> 01:18:18,949 MRS. KLARK: Honey, can I speak with you? 1418 01:18:19,116 --> 01:18:20,450 ♪ Only time will tell ♪♪ 1419 01:18:20,617 --> 01:18:25,289 -This whole thing has been so painful. -Mm. 1420 01:18:25,539 --> 01:18:28,750 Cameron was crying afterwards. 1421 01:18:28,917 --> 01:18:31,336 They always do. 1422 01:18:31,503 --> 01:18:35,132 You know, boys are just really more sensitive than they let on. 1423 01:18:35,299 --> 01:18:37,426 -Your father included. -Hm. 1424 01:18:38,093 --> 01:18:40,345 Which reminds me, don't say anything 1425 01:18:40,512 --> 01:18:44,516 but I have planned a pretty sexy surprise for us for our anniversary. 1426 01:18:44,683 --> 01:18:46,727 Mom, I don't wanna hear about you and Dad-- 1427 01:18:46,894 --> 01:18:49,271 Having intercourse? Noted. 1428 01:18:50,314 --> 01:18:53,650 Honey, listen, as you move forward 1429 01:18:54,526 --> 01:18:58,405 on your sexual journey, just promise me one thing. 1430 01:18:59,072 --> 01:19:02,618 -To have fun? -To use lube. 1431 01:19:04,161 --> 01:19:06,455 Doesn't always have to be painful. 1432 01:19:08,165 --> 01:19:11,251 I wish my mother had given me lube when I was your age. 1433 01:19:11,418 --> 01:19:13,420 [♪♪♪] 1434 01:19:14,755 --> 01:19:18,675 -Where exactly do I--? -In the vagina, sweetie. 1435 01:19:18,967 --> 01:19:20,677 Thanks, Mom. 1436 01:19:20,844 --> 01:19:23,388 [PHONE RINGING] 1437 01:19:23,555 --> 01:19:25,057 I got it. 1438 01:19:26,808 --> 01:19:27,851 Boise Pool. 1439 01:19:28,185 --> 01:19:30,520 -Rusty Waters, please. -DERRICK: Brandy? 1440 01:19:30,771 --> 01:19:32,272 Yes. Rusty, please. 1441 01:19:33,357 --> 01:19:37,361 Uh, Rusty, it's Brandy. She wants to talk to you. 1442 01:19:38,779 --> 01:19:42,032 Hey, newbie. Heard you got fired. That sucks. 1443 01:19:42,532 --> 01:19:46,536 Yeah, I know. It'll be tough explaining the employment gap in my résumé 1444 01:19:46,787 --> 01:19:51,375 but anyway, would you like to go out with me? 1445 01:19:52,042 --> 01:19:53,502 Uh... 1446 01:19:54,211 --> 01:19:58,048 Why not? I'll pick you up after work. 1447 01:19:58,215 --> 01:20:00,092 -Cool. -Cool. 1448 01:20:00,258 --> 01:20:01,885 Very cool. 1449 01:20:03,387 --> 01:20:04,846 AMBER: What'd he say? 1450 01:20:07,015 --> 01:20:09,226 -Yes. -He did? 1451 01:20:09,393 --> 01:20:13,105 Yes! He said yes. Technically, he said "why not." 1452 01:20:13,271 --> 01:20:14,856 But who cares about semantics. 1453 01:20:15,023 --> 01:20:19,569 Because Rusty Waters said yes to me, Brandy Klark, and we're gonna-- 1454 01:20:19,736 --> 01:20:21,822 Brandy, are you trying to do the Roger Rabbit? 1455 01:20:21,989 --> 01:20:24,574 -Yeah. -That's not the Roger Rabbit. 1456 01:20:24,825 --> 01:20:26,660 This is the Roger Rabbit. 1457 01:20:30,580 --> 01:20:33,417 Maybe the Running Man would be easier for you. 1458 01:20:33,583 --> 01:20:34,626 Shit. 1459 01:20:36,628 --> 01:20:40,257 -So you're taking Brandy out, huh? -I guess so. 1460 01:20:40,424 --> 01:20:43,051 Awesome. Good for her. Still working on that sex manual. 1461 01:20:43,552 --> 01:20:46,763 -Yeah-- What? Sex manual? -Oh, you didn't know? 1462 01:20:47,848 --> 01:20:49,224 Dude, check this out. 1463 01:20:49,391 --> 01:20:52,436 She's writing some sort of sex encyclopedia or something like that. 1464 01:20:52,602 --> 01:20:55,856 It's like she can do whatever and it's research. It's awesome. 1465 01:20:56,023 --> 01:20:59,860 She wants to have, like, a good orgasm, and, like, it's such a mature quest. 1466 01:21:00,819 --> 01:21:03,280 -Did you know about this? -No. 1467 01:21:03,447 --> 01:21:05,782 You learn something new at the pool every day. Ha, ha. 1468 01:21:06,074 --> 01:21:07,409 Wow. 1469 01:21:08,076 --> 01:21:10,245 -I look-- -Good enough to fuck. 1470 01:21:10,412 --> 01:21:12,622 [SHAYNE BLUE'S "GOOD THING" PLAYING] 1471 01:21:12,789 --> 01:21:14,708 I wasn't gonna put it that way, but... 1472 01:21:14,958 --> 01:21:16,460 [SIGHS] 1473 01:21:18,003 --> 01:21:20,589 -Does it hurt the first time? -Not if you chug a beer 1474 01:21:20,756 --> 01:21:22,299 and use the lube Mom gave you. 1475 01:21:22,466 --> 01:21:26,344 -She gave you the lube, right? -Yes. That was weird. 1476 01:21:27,471 --> 01:21:29,473 But helpful. 1477 01:21:30,891 --> 01:21:34,561 Hey, are you okay? I noticed you stopped eating your SnackWells. 1478 01:21:34,728 --> 01:21:37,773 Chippy cheated on me. With strippers. 1479 01:21:37,939 --> 01:21:39,441 [SIGHS] 1480 01:21:39,608 --> 01:21:42,903 -You gonna call off the wedding? -I want to, but he won't call me back. 1481 01:21:43,070 --> 01:21:45,405 Word of advice, don't fall in love. 1482 01:21:45,572 --> 01:21:47,491 Getting your heart broken fucking sucks. 1483 01:21:47,657 --> 01:21:49,910 Yes, so I've heard. 1484 01:21:50,702 --> 01:21:53,330 -Okay. -Hey, have fun popping your cherry. 1485 01:21:54,331 --> 01:21:55,874 I will. 1486 01:21:56,208 --> 01:21:58,335 And I want you to know that... 1487 01:21:59,044 --> 01:22:01,963 I wouldn't be having sex tonight if it weren't for you. 1488 01:22:02,130 --> 01:22:04,341 -Really? -Really. 1489 01:22:05,258 --> 01:22:07,135 Thanks, Brandy, I really needed that. 1490 01:22:09,513 --> 01:22:12,557 What's it gonna feel like? I'll figure it out. 1491 01:22:12,724 --> 01:22:14,184 Enjoy your penis. 1492 01:22:14,351 --> 01:22:16,353 [TONY BUNCE'S "PURPLE SKY" PLAYING] 1493 01:22:30,909 --> 01:22:32,577 Here you go. 1494 01:22:33,537 --> 01:22:34,871 [GRUNTS] 1495 01:22:35,038 --> 01:22:39,918 ♪ Lost in the lives they left behind ♪ 1496 01:22:40,418 --> 01:22:44,297 ♪ The daydreamer, the only one ♪ 1497 01:22:44,464 --> 01:22:47,968 ♪ The only one can keep it alive ♪ 1498 01:22:49,344 --> 01:22:51,721 You, uh, want another one? 1499 01:22:51,972 --> 01:22:54,766 No, thank you. One is my limit. 1500 01:22:57,978 --> 01:23:00,021 Hey, look, there's, um... 1501 01:23:00,772 --> 01:23:03,233 There's something I really wanna ask you. 1502 01:23:03,400 --> 01:23:05,068 Shoot. 1503 01:23:05,569 --> 01:23:07,654 Can I kiss you? 1504 01:23:08,989 --> 01:23:13,994 I know you can kiss me, but may you kiss me? 1505 01:23:15,287 --> 01:23:16,663 Oh. 1506 01:23:18,331 --> 01:23:20,584 -What? -Forget it. You can definitely kiss me. 1507 01:23:20,750 --> 01:23:22,085 Cool. 1508 01:23:22,335 --> 01:23:27,007 ♪ Sitting all alone On the top of a mountain ♪♪ 1509 01:23:27,174 --> 01:23:29,718 [KNOCKING] 1510 01:23:30,719 --> 01:23:34,264 [DOORBELL RINGING AND CONTINUES KNOCKING] 1511 01:23:35,807 --> 01:23:37,684 AMBER: Shit, I'm coming, all right? 1512 01:23:39,144 --> 01:23:42,939 -Oh. Hey, uh...? Hey, is Brandy here? -No. 1513 01:23:43,690 --> 01:23:47,444 Um... I think she might be in some trouble and I need to talk to her. 1514 01:23:47,611 --> 01:23:49,279 Can I wait here? Is that cool? 1515 01:23:51,448 --> 01:23:53,283 You got a dick under that poncho? 1516 01:23:55,035 --> 01:23:56,286 Why? 1517 01:23:58,330 --> 01:24:00,332 [THE CRANBERRIES' "DREAMS" PLAYING] 1518 01:24:07,047 --> 01:24:09,299 Maybe we should get a condom. 1519 01:24:09,466 --> 01:24:12,677 Good idea. Last thing we need's a baby, right? 1520 01:24:12,844 --> 01:24:14,638 Or AIDS. 1521 01:24:23,438 --> 01:24:27,317 -I need to tell you something. -It's okay. 1522 01:24:27,484 --> 01:24:30,153 I know you're a virgin. I'll be gentle, okay? 1523 01:24:30,320 --> 01:24:33,990 No, not that. I mean, I am a virgin, but... 1524 01:24:35,492 --> 01:24:37,285 I wanna be on top. 1525 01:24:37,869 --> 01:24:40,497 It'll increase my chance of orgasm by 40 percent. 1526 01:24:41,414 --> 01:24:44,125 Those are some good odds. 1527 01:24:45,669 --> 01:24:52,259 ♪ And, oh, my dreams It's never quite as it seems ♪ 1528 01:24:53,051 --> 01:24:57,013 ♪ Never quite as it seems ♪ 1529 01:24:57,180 --> 01:24:59,474 -You good? -Yeah. 1530 01:24:59,641 --> 01:25:02,727 ♪ I know I've felt like this before ♪ 1531 01:25:02,894 --> 01:25:05,689 [RUSTY MOANING] 1532 01:25:07,857 --> 01:25:11,027 ♪ Because it came from you ♪ 1533 01:25:11,194 --> 01:25:13,196 [BOTH MOANING] 1534 01:25:14,531 --> 01:25:19,869 ♪ And then I open up and see The person falling here is me ♪♪ 1535 01:25:20,036 --> 01:25:23,456 Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. 1536 01:25:23,707 --> 01:25:28,712 Oh! Oh, boy. Oh, boy. 1537 01:25:29,671 --> 01:25:31,089 [SIGHING] 1538 01:25:31,923 --> 01:25:36,761 -Did you just--? -Yeah. Didn't you? 1539 01:25:36,928 --> 01:25:38,596 -Have an orgasm? -Yeah. 1540 01:25:38,763 --> 01:25:40,640 No. That was like less than a minute. 1541 01:25:41,725 --> 01:25:42,892 Shit. 1542 01:25:43,059 --> 01:25:46,271 [JAMES' "LAID" PLAYING] 1543 01:25:46,438 --> 01:25:48,481 [MAN GRUNTING] 1544 01:25:52,235 --> 01:25:53,320 [SHRIEKS] 1545 01:25:53,486 --> 01:25:55,196 ♪ This bed is on fire With passionate love ♪ 1546 01:25:55,363 --> 01:25:58,575 -You've gotta be kidding me. -Look, I usually last like way longer. 1547 01:25:58,742 --> 01:26:01,036 You just really got me, like, riled up, okay? 1548 01:26:01,202 --> 01:26:03,580 Just please take me home now. 1549 01:26:03,747 --> 01:26:07,500 Look, if you just wait like two minutes, like, he'll be ready to go again. 1550 01:26:07,792 --> 01:26:09,252 I think I just saw Brandy. 1551 01:26:09,586 --> 01:26:11,046 ♪ My therapist said ♪♪ 1552 01:26:11,212 --> 01:26:13,740 Oh, no. I'm certain that's not Brandy. 1553 01:26:13,764 --> 01:26:17,093 Brandy's with Cameron and he drives a Ford Festiva. 1554 01:26:17,260 --> 01:26:19,054 Why are you certain she's with Cameron? 1555 01:26:19,220 --> 01:26:20,430 I gave her the lube and-- 1556 01:26:20,597 --> 01:26:24,225 You gave her the lube? You had your talk with her, didn't you? 1557 01:26:24,392 --> 01:26:26,603 Of course I did. If I waited for you to do it, 1558 01:26:26,770 --> 01:26:29,773 she would be 40 before she has her first orgasm. 1559 01:26:29,939 --> 01:26:32,609 This is really decent of you. It's cool of you to do this. 1560 01:26:32,776 --> 01:26:36,196 -Stop talking to me. -Okay. Sorry. 1561 01:26:37,405 --> 01:26:39,741 You're just doing me a real solid, that's all. 1562 01:26:39,908 --> 01:26:43,828 I might look like a rock star, but I'm really a pretty traditional type of guy. 1563 01:26:43,995 --> 01:26:46,498 You know, like a missionary type of guy. 1564 01:26:46,664 --> 01:26:49,209 Like a good old-fashioned me on top, you on bottom. 1565 01:26:49,376 --> 01:26:52,462 Not like this crazy-- You're super aggressive. I mean, come on. 1566 01:26:52,629 --> 01:26:55,423 Look, I'm a pretty sensitive dude, all right? 1567 01:26:55,590 --> 01:26:57,467 I'm a meat-and-potatoes type of guy. 1568 01:26:57,634 --> 01:26:59,219 You jerk! 1569 01:27:00,136 --> 01:27:02,847 -Cameron? -Jerk face. Ow! 1570 01:27:03,014 --> 01:27:06,810 Cameron, calm down. Please calm down. 1571 01:27:06,976 --> 01:27:10,230 No, I will not calm down. Did you make love with him? 1572 01:27:10,522 --> 01:27:14,275 Yeah, dude. We did it. Put the meat right in the taco. 1573 01:27:14,442 --> 01:27:16,277 -Get off me. -RUSTY: Oh, yeah. 1574 01:27:16,444 --> 01:27:17,987 I can't believe I was so stupid. 1575 01:27:19,155 --> 01:27:20,490 [SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] 1576 01:27:20,698 --> 01:27:25,870 I get it. It's not having sex that's a big deal, it's this. 1577 01:27:26,037 --> 01:27:29,082 All these feelings and emotional crap. 1578 01:27:29,249 --> 01:27:32,168 That's why it's better if you leave feelings and shit out of it. 1579 01:27:32,335 --> 01:27:35,380 Feelings are everything, Brandy. Ow! 1580 01:27:36,047 --> 01:27:39,342 Why don't you wait until you've done it once, virgin? 1581 01:27:39,509 --> 01:27:41,678 Then you'll see that sex isn't such a big deal. 1582 01:27:41,845 --> 01:27:44,639 -How do you know I haven't had sex? -RUSTY: Look at you. 1583 01:27:44,806 --> 01:27:47,308 -Look at you! -Hey, stop it. Stop it. 1584 01:27:47,475 --> 01:27:49,352 You're animals. And you are wrong. 1585 01:27:49,519 --> 01:27:51,521 -CAMERON: Yeah, you're wrong. -Feelings matter. 1586 01:27:51,688 --> 01:27:54,691 And having sex with the right person is a big deal. 1587 01:27:54,858 --> 01:27:55,859 [♪♪♪] 1588 01:27:56,025 --> 01:28:00,697 Cameron, come here. Look, I owe you an apology. 1589 01:28:01,197 --> 01:28:04,742 People talk about sex all the time like it's no big deal 1590 01:28:05,535 --> 01:28:07,708 but when you haven't done it, 1591 01:28:07,732 --> 01:28:10,582 when you're a virgin, it is a big deal. 1592 01:28:11,082 --> 01:28:15,962 And I think the list was me trying not to mess up. 1593 01:28:17,505 --> 01:28:19,799 But I did mess up. 1594 01:28:19,966 --> 01:28:24,429 I messed up when I hurt you. And I'm really sorry. 1595 01:28:25,555 --> 01:28:29,350 Well, I still can't believe you chose Rusty over me. 1596 01:28:29,517 --> 01:28:31,895 -Dude, I'm standing right here. -Shut up, Rusty. 1597 01:28:32,061 --> 01:28:34,647 You wanna go, Growing Pains? You retarded Zack Morris. 1598 01:28:34,814 --> 01:28:37,358 -CAMERON: Rusty, shut up. -Both of you shut up. Both of you shut up. 1599 01:28:38,026 --> 01:28:39,569 Cameron... 1600 01:28:40,236 --> 01:28:44,949 you are super nice and cute 1601 01:28:45,116 --> 01:28:48,244 and kind and reliable. 1602 01:28:48,411 --> 01:28:51,748 You're the kind of guy a girl would love to be in a relationship with. 1603 01:28:51,915 --> 01:28:54,417 -Will I regret messing that up? -Probably yes. 1604 01:28:54,584 --> 01:28:58,755 No. No. I'm a teenager. 1605 01:28:58,922 --> 01:29:01,382 Teenagers don't have regrets. 1606 01:29:01,549 --> 01:29:03,009 That's for your 30s. 1607 01:29:04,344 --> 01:29:07,931 And, Rusty, Rusty, Rusty. 1608 01:29:08,097 --> 01:29:09,432 [SCOFFS] 1609 01:29:10,016 --> 01:29:13,186 You are superhot and ripped, 1610 01:29:13,561 --> 01:29:18,358 and you play the guitar and I can't believe I had sex with you. 1611 01:29:19,526 --> 01:29:21,611 Am I gonna regret losing my virginity to you? 1612 01:29:21,778 --> 01:29:23,488 Probably. Most girls do. 1613 01:29:23,655 --> 01:29:25,949 No. Definitely not. 1614 01:29:26,115 --> 01:29:30,286 You are gonna be an awesome story to tell my friends. 1615 01:29:30,828 --> 01:29:32,121 All right. 1616 01:29:32,372 --> 01:29:33,831 [SIGHS] 1617 01:29:34,958 --> 01:29:37,001 Speaking of which, 1618 01:29:37,168 --> 01:29:39,712 that is where I should be right now. 1619 01:29:39,879 --> 01:29:42,799 With my friends. Not here. 1620 01:29:42,966 --> 01:29:45,969 [TEARS FOR FEARS' "BREAK IT DOWN AGAIN" PLAYING] 1621 01:29:46,803 --> 01:29:48,179 ♪ Here we go ♪ 1622 01:29:48,388 --> 01:29:50,890 Carry on, men. 1623 01:29:51,057 --> 01:29:52,725 You're animals. 1624 01:29:52,892 --> 01:29:54,978 ♪ Break it down again ♪ 1625 01:29:57,021 --> 01:29:59,315 ♪ So those are my dreams ♪ 1626 01:29:59,482 --> 01:30:01,609 [CAR APPROACHING] 1627 01:30:01,818 --> 01:30:02,944 Oh, ship. 1628 01:30:03,903 --> 01:30:06,072 ♪ Headstrong like a horse ♪ 1629 01:30:06,239 --> 01:30:08,283 ♪ When it's all mixed up Better break it down ♪♪ 1630 01:30:08,449 --> 01:30:09,826 [BOTH SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 1631 01:30:09,993 --> 01:30:12,287 Put a vibrator in her stocking, for God's sakes? 1632 01:30:12,453 --> 01:30:14,664 No, I was saving it for her birthday. 1633 01:30:14,831 --> 01:30:16,499 -I'm coming, honey. -Wait. 1634 01:30:16,666 --> 01:30:19,460 Just because you have lube, doesn't mean you have to use it. 1635 01:30:19,627 --> 01:30:26,009 Wait. Ow, ow. George. Ow. Wait. 1636 01:30:26,593 --> 01:30:27,635 [WILLY GRUNTING] 1637 01:30:27,802 --> 01:30:29,137 WILLY: I'm really-- I'm there. 1638 01:30:31,014 --> 01:30:33,141 -JUDGE KLARK: Amber. -Dad! 1639 01:30:33,308 --> 01:30:38,104 Dad? Hey. Hey, Mr. Klark. Hey, I'm Willy. 1640 01:30:38,605 --> 01:30:40,023 -Judge. -Judge, that's right. 1641 01:30:40,189 --> 01:30:42,275 -Judge Klark. -You're a fucking judge. 1642 01:30:42,442 --> 01:30:47,196 Hey, uh, look, I'm Brandy's boss at the pool and, uh... Um... 1643 01:30:47,447 --> 01:30:49,949 She's a great girl, by the way. And so is this one. 1644 01:30:50,116 --> 01:30:53,453 You've raised two amazing, amazing daughters. 1645 01:30:53,620 --> 01:30:55,872 I want you off my house and out of my daughter! 1646 01:30:56,039 --> 01:30:59,042 -Dad, gross. -You know what I mean. 1647 01:31:05,381 --> 01:31:07,717 -Anything else I can do for you, sir? -Right now! 1648 01:31:07,884 --> 01:31:10,511 -I just did it. -Amber. 1649 01:31:10,845 --> 01:31:12,722 -Mom. -That's not Chip. 1650 01:31:12,889 --> 01:31:16,017 No shit, Mom. Get the fuck out of my room! 1651 01:31:16,184 --> 01:31:20,063 No, leave it. Just leave it. Finish up, please. 1652 01:31:20,229 --> 01:31:22,857 I'm the one who won't live to see my daughter grow into a woman 1653 01:31:23,024 --> 01:31:24,984 who won't be able to protect her from the world. 1654 01:31:25,151 --> 01:31:29,906 And I hate it. I hate that she'd rather be with you, who has energy, who is fun. 1655 01:31:30,198 --> 01:31:31,824 You told me to play with her. 1656 01:31:31,991 --> 01:31:34,702 I know I did, but I didn’t know it was gonna make me feel like this. 1657 01:31:34,869 --> 01:31:37,914 GIRL: ♪ It must have been cold there In my shadow ♪ 1658 01:31:38,081 --> 01:31:40,079 Okay, you know what? You can't handle this. 1659 01:31:40,103 --> 01:31:41,000 I'm turning it off. 1660 01:31:41,250 --> 01:31:42,710 -No, I can handle it. -No, you can't. 1661 01:31:42,877 --> 01:31:45,254 Look at you, you're a mess. 1662 01:31:45,421 --> 01:31:47,674 ♪ On your face ♪ 1663 01:31:48,925 --> 01:31:52,345 ♪ You were content to let me shine ♪ 1664 01:31:52,512 --> 01:31:53,596 What the hell are you doing? 1665 01:31:53,763 --> 01:31:54,847 ♪ That's your way ♪ 1666 01:31:55,014 --> 01:31:56,599 I don't want her here. 1667 01:31:56,766 --> 01:31:58,559 She said she doesn't want you. Get out. 1668 01:31:58,726 --> 01:32:02,105 ♪ So I was the one with all the glory ♪ 1669 01:32:03,523 --> 01:32:06,401 ♪ But you were the ones With all the strength ♪ 1670 01:32:06,567 --> 01:32:09,278 Okay, Jesus, stop. What's wrong with you? 1671 01:32:09,445 --> 01:32:12,573 You think you can start singing and we're gonna forgive you? 1672 01:32:12,740 --> 01:32:14,075 It doesn't work like that, okay? 1673 01:32:14,242 --> 01:32:19,622 ♪ Did you ever know That you're my hero? ♪ 1674 01:32:20,832 --> 01:32:21,916 Wendy. 1675 01:32:22,166 --> 01:32:28,005 BOTH: ♪ You're everything I would like to be ♪ 1676 01:32:28,715 --> 01:32:34,303 ♪ I can fly higher than an eagle ♪ 1677 01:32:34,595 --> 01:32:39,809 ♪ 'Cause you are The wind beneath my wings ♪ 1678 01:32:39,976 --> 01:32:43,813 ♪ Oh, you, you, you ♪ 1679 01:32:44,522 --> 01:32:48,860 ♪ You are the wind beneath my wings ♪ 1680 01:32:49,068 --> 01:32:52,447 -Fiona. -I don't know the words. 1681 01:32:52,613 --> 01:32:55,324 -Yes, you do. -Yes, you do. 1682 01:32:56,826 --> 01:33:00,079 ♪ Fly ♪ 1683 01:33:00,246 --> 01:33:03,916 ALL: ♪ Fly ♪ 1684 01:33:04,083 --> 01:33:07,837 ♪ So high against the sky ♪ 1685 01:33:08,004 --> 01:33:12,008 ♪ So high I almost touched the sky ♪ 1686 01:33:12,675 --> 01:33:18,097 ♪ Thank you Thank God for you ♪ 1687 01:33:18,264 --> 01:33:29,317 ♪ The wind beneath my wings ♪♪ 1688 01:33:29,776 --> 01:33:31,652 [ALL LAUGHING] 1689 01:33:32,528 --> 01:33:35,239 That was super gay. Oh, my God. 1690 01:33:35,406 --> 01:33:38,785 Don't tell anyone we did this. I'm serious. 1691 01:33:38,951 --> 01:33:42,789 -I'm really sorry, you guys. -We know. We know. 1692 01:33:42,955 --> 01:33:46,083 Also, I fucked Rusty Waters. 1693 01:33:46,250 --> 01:33:48,669 -Well... Look at you. -How was it? 1694 01:33:48,836 --> 01:33:50,213 Yeah. 1695 01:33:50,379 --> 01:33:51,798 It was quick. 1696 01:33:51,964 --> 01:33:53,382 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 1697 01:33:53,549 --> 01:33:56,719 Brandy, please tell me you were not getting pregnant tonight. 1698 01:33:56,886 --> 01:33:59,305 -Don't worry, she was here. -Don't worry, she used a condom. 1699 01:34:00,723 --> 01:34:03,017 Can we please talk in the hallway, Dad? 1700 01:34:04,393 --> 01:34:06,187 FIONA: It's okay. 1701 01:34:06,354 --> 01:34:07,897 -Just lie. -[MOUTHS] I'm sorry. 1702 01:34:08,064 --> 01:34:09,607 FIONA: You're gonna be okay. 1703 01:34:11,734 --> 01:34:13,194 Let me just start by saying 1704 01:34:13,361 --> 01:34:18,366 if you ever need to talk about birth control or rubbers or-- 1705 01:34:18,533 --> 01:34:20,868 Did you at least use the lube that your mother--? 1706 01:34:21,035 --> 01:34:24,747 Dad, I don't wanna talk about that stuff with you. 1707 01:34:24,914 --> 01:34:27,750 Thank goodness. Because neither do I. Ever. 1708 01:34:28,793 --> 01:34:32,338 I just... I need to know that you're okay. 1709 01:34:32,505 --> 01:34:34,382 Dad, I'm fine. 1710 01:34:35,258 --> 01:34:37,009 Seriously. 1711 01:34:37,593 --> 01:34:41,806 -You don't have to worry about me. -I'm afraid that's not gonna be possible. 1712 01:34:42,348 --> 01:34:45,226 Because you're my daughter and I love you. 1713 01:34:45,393 --> 01:34:48,396 [BIG HEAD TODD & THE MONSTERS' BITTERSWEET" PLAYING] 1714 01:34:51,816 --> 01:34:55,403 Now, please go back to playing with your loose friends. 1715 01:34:56,571 --> 01:34:57,613 Okay, Dad. 1716 01:34:58,447 --> 01:35:04,954 ♪ A little light looks through Her bedroom window ♪ 1717 01:35:06,455 --> 01:35:08,916 ♪ She dances and I dream ♪ 1718 01:35:10,001 --> 01:35:13,796 ♪ She's not so far as she seems ♪ 1719 01:35:14,088 --> 01:35:17,758 ♪ of brighter meadows Melting sunsets ♪ 1720 01:35:17,925 --> 01:35:20,303 ♪ Her hair blowing in the breeze ♪ 1721 01:35:22,305 --> 01:35:24,307 ♪ And she can't see me watching ♪ 1722 01:35:24,473 --> 01:35:27,435 BRANDY [OVER LOUDSPEAKER]: Never thought I'd see you on the guard stand. 1723 01:35:27,810 --> 01:35:30,146 ♪ And I'm thinking love ♪ 1724 01:35:30,313 --> 01:35:31,772 [CHUCKLES] 1725 01:35:33,649 --> 01:35:34,650 ♪ Love ♪♪ 1726 01:35:34,817 --> 01:35:37,862 -Well, hello. -Hi. 1727 01:35:38,029 --> 01:35:40,489 You can't stay away from here. 1728 01:35:40,656 --> 01:35:45,912 I heard that you stopped by my house to save me, so to speak. 1729 01:35:46,078 --> 01:35:47,997 I just wanted to come by and thank you. 1730 01:35:48,164 --> 01:35:52,460 Yeah, I tried to do the right thing, but I ended up fucking your sister instead. 1731 01:35:53,502 --> 01:35:56,672 She's hot. Your dad walked in. 1732 01:35:56,839 --> 01:36:01,135 -And my boner did not go away. -I didn't need to hear that, Willy. 1733 01:36:02,011 --> 01:36:05,514 I guess I'll be seeing you a lot now that you're hanging out with my sister. 1734 01:36:07,433 --> 01:36:10,519 Uh, no, we're not going out or anything. 1735 01:36:10,686 --> 01:36:14,523 It's not like I didn't try, but she said something like: 1736 01:36:14,690 --> 01:36:19,362 "Fish needs a man like a woman needs a tricycle"? 1737 01:36:19,528 --> 01:36:22,031 I don't know. Something you taught her. 1738 01:36:22,198 --> 01:36:26,869 Hey, speaking of teaching, I never paid you for the swim lessons. 1739 01:36:27,036 --> 01:36:28,871 -Wow. -You didn't think I'd give it to you, huh? 1740 01:36:29,038 --> 01:36:31,165 -No, actually. -Right. 1741 01:36:31,332 --> 01:36:34,710 I'm a changed man, Brandy. 1742 01:36:35,336 --> 01:36:40,967 And, if you want, if you have nothing going on next summer, 1743 01:36:41,133 --> 01:36:43,302 you wanna come back here to work, 1744 01:36:43,552 --> 01:36:45,638 there's a manager position waiting for you. 1745 01:36:45,972 --> 01:36:49,850 -Wait, what? You're quitting? -Yes. 1746 01:36:50,017 --> 01:36:52,311 You just learned how to swim. You worked so hard. 1747 01:36:52,478 --> 01:36:55,022 Yeah, I know, but I think... 1748 01:36:55,731 --> 01:36:59,485 I think getting with Amber made me realize that I could do better, you know? 1749 01:36:59,652 --> 01:37:02,947 Your sister's like caviar. You're like cheese. 1750 01:37:03,114 --> 01:37:05,241 -Okay. Okay, Willy. -Like sharp cheddar. 1751 01:37:05,408 --> 01:37:09,578 I tasted a little caviar and I realized, like, what the fuck am I doing in Boise? 1752 01:37:10,454 --> 01:37:14,083 So I'm gonna get out. I'm gonna see the world, 1753 01:37:14,875 --> 01:37:16,419 and I'm gonna better myself. 1754 01:37:16,585 --> 01:37:20,840 Well, I respect that. I actually think that's very mature of you. 1755 01:37:21,007 --> 01:37:23,759 Yeah. I'm gonna follow The Dead. 1756 01:37:24,593 --> 01:37:27,096 You know, Jerry's health isn't doing too well, 1757 01:37:27,263 --> 01:37:29,265 and I'm not getting any younger, so... 1758 01:37:30,933 --> 01:37:32,018 [SIGHS] 1759 01:37:32,184 --> 01:37:34,603 Totally making the right decision. 1760 01:37:36,856 --> 01:37:38,858 [♪♪♪] 1761 01:37:44,613 --> 01:37:46,615 [MARCY SOBBING] 1762 01:37:47,408 --> 01:37:50,619 Ladies. Oh, Marce, you're still homesick? 1763 01:37:50,786 --> 01:37:52,288 MARCY: Uh-huh. 1764 01:37:52,455 --> 01:37:54,999 BRANDY: Give it another month, Marcy. 1765 01:38:02,214 --> 01:38:05,217 Hi there. Cameron. 1766 01:38:07,636 --> 01:38:10,556 -It's been a while. -I know. 1767 01:38:10,723 --> 01:38:14,977 -You never returned my electronic mail. -Yeah, I'm sorry about that. 1768 01:38:15,144 --> 01:38:17,480 I just... I think I needed some time. 1769 01:38:17,646 --> 01:38:23,027 I understand. And I'm sorry too. That night was really crazy. 1770 01:38:23,903 --> 01:38:26,655 But I'm glad that we, like, never had sex. 1771 01:38:26,822 --> 01:38:28,157 Mm-hm. 1772 01:38:28,324 --> 01:38:30,326 I think it would've confused our friendship. 1773 01:38:30,493 --> 01:38:31,786 I know what you mean. 1774 01:38:32,453 --> 01:38:34,330 -You do? -Yes. 1775 01:38:34,497 --> 01:38:39,668 -Really? -Mm-hm. I did it. I had sex. 1776 01:38:40,211 --> 01:38:41,253 Wow. 1777 01:38:41,420 --> 01:38:44,340 My roommate and I went out, a drunk senior came up to me and said: 1778 01:38:44,507 --> 01:38:46,175 "You a freshman?" I was like, "Yeah." 1779 01:38:46,342 --> 01:38:48,552 Next thing you know, I'm losing it on the bathroom floor. 1780 01:38:48,719 --> 01:38:52,306 -Whoa. She just up and took it. -She just up and took it. Heh. 1781 01:38:52,973 --> 01:38:55,518 Yeah, but all that to say, I just want you to know 1782 01:38:55,684 --> 01:38:57,937 that I know what you meant that night. 1783 01:38:58,104 --> 01:39:00,856 That sex is a big deal, but it's also not a big deal. 1784 01:39:01,023 --> 01:39:04,318 Don't get me wrong, it's a big deal, but it doesn't have to be such a big deal. 1785 01:39:04,485 --> 01:39:06,362 No, it doesn't. 1786 01:39:06,529 --> 01:39:09,490 I guess what I mean is, sometimes sex is just sex. 1787 01:39:09,782 --> 01:39:12,660 Yeah, sometimes sex is just sex. 1788 01:39:12,827 --> 01:39:14,829 [ROSS GIDNEY'S "ONE TIME LOOKER" PLAYING] 1789 01:39:18,958 --> 01:39:21,502 Yay. Yay. Yay. 1790 01:39:21,669 --> 01:39:23,712 Little circles. Little circles. 1791 01:39:24,255 --> 01:39:26,632 Wait, I have an idea. 1792 01:39:28,676 --> 01:39:30,386 [BRANDY GRUNTING] 1793 01:39:30,553 --> 01:39:34,181 Oh, my God. Yes. Cameron, it's happening. 1794 01:39:34,348 --> 01:39:35,975 Cameron, it's gonna happen. 1795 01:39:36,142 --> 01:39:39,895 [MOANING] 1796 01:39:41,772 --> 01:39:46,152 ♪ One time lookers, you and me And that's the way it's meant to be ♪ 1797 01:39:46,318 --> 01:39:48,070 ♪ 'Cause the hi-fi radio ♪ 1798 01:39:48,237 --> 01:39:51,407 -Hey, they're doing a clambake with-- -Dad? 1799 01:39:52,241 --> 01:39:54,493 I said, not the back door. 1800 01:39:54,660 --> 01:39:58,164 There's doors we don't do. The back door's one of them. 1801 01:39:58,581 --> 01:40:00,374 We went over this. 1802 01:40:01,625 --> 01:40:04,128 ♪ But will you come home with me? ♪♪ 1803 01:40:04,295 --> 01:40:05,713 [CLEARS THROAT] 1804 01:40:05,880 --> 01:40:06,922 Good job, Cameron. 1805 01:40:07,089 --> 01:40:08,257 ♪ You can't touch this ♪ 1806 01:40:10,634 --> 01:40:11,760 ♪ You can't touch this ♪ 1807 01:40:14,138 --> 01:40:15,306 ♪ You can't touch this ♪ 1808 01:40:17,808 --> 01:40:19,101 ♪ You can't touch this ♪ 1809 01:40:20,394 --> 01:40:23,772 ♪ My, my, my, my Music hits me so hard ♪ 1810 01:40:23,939 --> 01:40:25,608 ♪ Makes me say "Oh, my Lord" ♪ 1811 01:40:25,774 --> 01:40:27,234 ♪ Thank you for blessing me ♪ 1812 01:40:27,401 --> 01:40:29,153 ♪ With a mind to rhyme And two hype feet ♪ 1813 01:40:29,320 --> 01:40:31,030 ♪ It feels good When you know you're down ♪ 1814 01:40:31,197 --> 01:40:32,781 ♪ A super dope homeboy From the Oaktown ♪ 1815 01:40:32,948 --> 01:40:36,744 ♪ And I'm known as such And this is a beat, uh, you can't touch ♪ 1816 01:40:37,620 --> 01:40:40,497 ♪ I told you, homeboy You can't touch this ♪ 1817 01:40:41,165 --> 01:40:43,000 ♪ Yeah, that's how we living And you know ♪ 1818 01:40:43,167 --> 01:40:44,251 ♪ You can't touch this ♪ 1819 01:40:44,835 --> 01:40:47,630 ♪ Look at my eyes, man You can't touch this ♪ 1820 01:40:48,881 --> 01:40:50,966 ♪ Yo, let me bust the funky lyrics You can't touch this ♪ 1821 01:40:51,133 --> 01:40:53,219 ♪ Fresh new kicks, advance You gotta like that ♪ 1822 01:40:53,385 --> 01:40:55,304 ♪ Now you know you wanna dance So move ♪ 1823 01:40:55,471 --> 01:40:57,765 ♪ out of your seat And get a fly girl and catch this beat ♪ 1824 01:40:57,932 --> 01:40:59,725 ♪ While it's rolling, hold on ♪ 1825 01:40:59,892 --> 01:41:01,352 ♪ Pump a little bit And let her know it's going on ♪ 1826 01:41:01,518 --> 01:41:03,437 ♪ Like that, like that ♪ 1827 01:41:03,604 --> 01:41:04,980 ♪ Cold on a mission so fall 'em back ♪ 1828 01:41:05,147 --> 01:41:06,982 ♪ Let 'em know That you're too much ♪ 1829 01:41:07,149 --> 01:41:09,151 ♪ And this is a beat, uh They can't touch ♪ 1830 01:41:11,904 --> 01:41:12,988 ♪ You can't touch this ♪ 1831 01:41:14,240 --> 01:41:16,700 ♪ Yeah You can't touch this ♪ 1832 01:41:17,826 --> 01:41:20,496 ♪ I told you You can't touch this ♪ 1833 01:41:22,248 --> 01:41:23,916 ♪ Too hype, can't touch this ♪ 1834 01:41:25,000 --> 01:41:27,503 ♪ Yeah, we out of here Can't touch this ♪♪ 1835 01:41:34,843 --> 01:41:36,845 [THE CRANBERRIES' "DREAMS" PLAYING] 1836 01:42:07,126 --> 01:42:14,049 ♪ Oh, my life is changing every day ♪ 1837 01:42:14,216 --> 01:42:17,594 ♪ In every possible way ♪ 1838 01:42:21,890 --> 01:42:29,106 ♪ And, oh, my dreams It's never quite as it seems ♪ 1839 01:42:29,398 --> 01:42:33,027 ♪ Never quite as it seems ♪ 1840 01:42:35,863 --> 01:42:43,412 ♪ I know I've felt like this before But now I'm feeling it even more ♪ 1841 01:42:44,288 --> 01:42:47,166 ♪ Because it came from you ♪ 1842 01:42:50,919 --> 01:42:54,423 ♪ Then I open up and see ♪ 1843 01:42:54,590 --> 01:42:58,260 ♪ The person falling here is me ♪ 1844 01:42:59,053 --> 01:43:01,889 ♪ A different way to be ♪ 1845 01:43:21,700 --> 01:43:28,540 ♪ I want more Impossible to ignore ♪ 1846 01:43:29,124 --> 01:43:32,211 ♪ Impossible to ignore ♪♪