1 00:00:41,911 --> 00:00:43,304 [indistinct conversations] 2 00:00:43,347 --> 00:00:46,089 [The "Oogum Boogum" song playing] 3 00:00:51,665 --> 00:00:53,251 SIMON: I'm just like you. 4 00:00:53,262 --> 00:00:55,479 For the most part, my life is totally normal. 5 00:00:55,490 --> 00:00:57,110 -Happy birthday. -No! 6 00:00:57,121 --> 00:00:59,613 SIMON: My dad was the annoyingly handsome quarterback 7 00:00:59,624 --> 00:01:01,744 who married the hot valedictorian. 8 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:04,792 And, no, they didn't peak in high school. 9 00:01:04,803 --> 00:01:06,066 -[car door closes] -[horn honks] 10 00:01:06,104 --> 00:01:07,452 I have a sister I actually like. 11 00:01:07,463 --> 00:01:08,965 Not that I'd ever tell her that. 12 00:01:08,976 --> 00:01:11,843 And last year, and 200 episodes ofChopped ago... 13 00:01:11,854 --> 00:01:14,250 she decided she wanted to be a chef. 14 00:01:14,261 --> 00:01:16,021 Which means we're pretty much all her test subjects now. 15 00:01:16,032 --> 00:01:17,686 ♪ Cute mini skirt 16 00:01:17,729 --> 00:01:20,071 ♪ With your brother's sloppy shirt ♪ 17 00:01:20,137 --> 00:01:22,835 ♪ I admit it girl, That I can dig it ♪ 18 00:01:22,846 --> 00:01:24,551 EMILY: Is it spicy, Jack? 19 00:01:24,562 --> 00:01:27,118 -[spits] -Oh! Gracious. Oh, my gosh. 20 00:01:27,129 --> 00:01:29,377 SIMON: And then there's my friends. 21 00:01:31,047 --> 00:01:32,360 Two of them, I've known 22 00:01:32,371 --> 00:01:34,257 since pretty much the beginning of time. 23 00:01:34,268 --> 00:01:36,352 -Or at least kindergarten. -No. No. 24 00:01:36,444 --> 00:01:37,880 -LEAH: Oh! Sorry! -Okay. How 'bout that? 25 00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:39,403 [crowd cheering] 26 00:01:39,882 --> 00:01:41,971 One of them, I just met a few months ago, 27 00:01:42,014 --> 00:01:43,918 but it feels like I've known her forever. 28 00:01:43,929 --> 00:01:45,496 We do everything friends do. 29 00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:47,368 We drink way too much iced coffee, 30 00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:49,370 watch bad '90s movies and hang out at Waffle House 31 00:01:49,413 --> 00:01:52,125 dreaming of college and gorging on carbs. 32 00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:53,983 [cheering continues] 33 00:01:54,026 --> 00:01:57,117 ♪ You got me doin' funny things Like a clown ♪ 34 00:01:57,856 --> 00:01:59,406 ♪ Just look at me 35 00:02:01,817 --> 00:02:04,602 ♪ When you wear Your bell-bottom pants... ♪ 36 00:02:05,071 --> 00:02:06,781 SIMON: So, like I said. 37 00:02:07,266 --> 00:02:08,702 I'm just like you. 38 00:02:08,713 --> 00:02:11,454 I have a totally, perfectly normal life. 39 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:16,422 Except I have one huge-ass secret. 40 00:02:17,878 --> 00:02:20,664 ♪ Now go on With your bad self ♪ 41 00:02:27,799 --> 00:02:31,956 ♪ Ooh, ooh, now mercy, Mercy on me ♪ 42 00:02:31,967 --> 00:02:34,444 -[knocking on door] -Hey! Morning! Oh! 43 00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:36,634 -Hey! -Sorry. 44 00:02:36,678 --> 00:02:37,940 I didn't realize you were masturbating. 45 00:02:37,983 --> 00:02:39,074 Yeah, very funny. 46 00:02:39,085 --> 00:02:40,782 Your sister's downstairs making some 47 00:02:40,793 --> 00:02:42,186 la-di-da pancake thing she saw on Top Chef, 48 00:02:42,204 --> 00:02:44,046 so we should probably go eat that. 49 00:02:44,057 --> 00:02:45,972 Great. I'll be down in just a second. 50 00:02:45,983 --> 00:02:49,288 Okay. Right after you finish searching the internet for... 51 00:02:49,299 --> 00:02:51,649 lingerie photos of Gigi Habib? 52 00:02:51,693 --> 00:02:54,086 [scoffs] It's Hadid. 53 00:02:54,478 --> 00:02:56,698 Right. I didn't realize she was your girlfriend. 54 00:02:56,741 --> 00:02:58,207 All right, finish up here. 55 00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:00,516 You got me. 56 00:03:07,056 --> 00:03:09,058 [indistinct chatter] 57 00:03:09,678 --> 00:03:12,006 -Morning, guys. -Simon, have a seat, honey. 58 00:03:12,017 --> 00:03:13,236 -Morning, Simon. -You gotta eat your breakfast. 59 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,353 Please don't tell me 60 00:03:14,364 --> 00:03:16,174 that breakfast is the most important meal of the day 61 00:03:16,185 --> 00:03:18,578 because that is just so cliché. You're better than that. 62 00:03:18,589 --> 00:03:20,287 I was gonna say breakfast lowers LDL cholesterol 63 00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:22,202 and prevents fluctuating glucose levels 64 00:03:22,245 --> 00:03:24,454 -that lead to type two diabetes. -Oh! 65 00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:25,379 Touché. 66 00:03:26,075 --> 00:03:28,295 Nora. These are incredible. 67 00:03:28,338 --> 00:03:31,189 Cornmeal pancakes with blackberry compote. 68 00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:32,603 But they're not crumbly enough. 69 00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:34,692 Stop it. They're perfect. 70 00:03:34,736 --> 00:03:35,824 [Nora sighs] 71 00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:37,041 Eat up, Bieber. 72 00:03:38,534 --> 00:03:40,231 -See you, guys. -JACK: See you, Simon. 73 00:03:40,242 --> 00:03:43,499 EMILY: Hey, honey. Be back by seven! It's TV night. 74 00:03:50,186 --> 00:03:51,883 [leaf blower whirs] 75 00:03:54,697 --> 00:03:55,611 Hey! 76 00:03:56,192 --> 00:03:57,106 Morning! 77 00:03:57,541 --> 00:03:59,783 It's Simon! I live right here! 78 00:04:01,064 --> 00:04:02,599 I like your boots! 79 00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:06,942 Okay, bye! 80 00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:13,949 -[sighs] -[horn honks] 81 00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:16,430 God damn. 82 00:04:21,764 --> 00:04:24,122 ["Rollercoaster" playing] 83 00:04:29,617 --> 00:04:32,477 ♪ It was summer When I saw your face ♪ 84 00:04:32,576 --> 00:04:35,220 ♪ Looked like a teenage Runaway... ♪ 85 00:04:35,919 --> 00:04:37,312 -Yo! -Yo! 86 00:04:37,364 --> 00:04:39,191 Had the craziest dream last night. 87 00:04:39,235 --> 00:04:41,324 Hey, Nick, you have the craziest dream every night. 88 00:04:41,368 --> 00:04:42,804 NICK: You don't understand. I'm in this cave, right? 89 00:04:42,847 --> 00:04:44,577 Or maybe it's in outer space. 90 00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:46,373 David Beckham is there with these two contact lenses 91 00:04:46,416 --> 00:04:48,375 and then like, blue one or red one, like he's a sexy 92 00:04:48,418 --> 00:04:49,767 Morpheus from Matrix. 93 00:04:49,811 --> 00:04:51,334 And I don't know which one to pick. 94 00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:52,938 I don't know what to do with these things. 95 00:04:52,949 --> 00:04:55,588 Oh, my God. Have you guys seen Creek Secretstoday? 96 00:04:55,599 --> 00:04:57,645 First of all, you are obsessed with that blog, so... 97 00:04:57,688 --> 00:04:59,342 LEAH: Okay, but apparently, Becca Peterson 98 00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:00,952 got caught giving Ryan O'Donovan, 99 00:05:00,996 --> 00:05:02,389 an HJ in the pool. 100 00:05:02,432 --> 00:05:03,912 That's the real reason they drained it. 101 00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:05,348 Man, our janitor needs a raise. 102 00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:06,784 LEAH: Oh, my God. 103 00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:08,688 -And an HPV vaccine. -[Nick laughs] 104 00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:10,092 NICK: Leah, I have this dream, right? 105 00:05:10,135 --> 00:05:11,441 LEAH: Nick, we have a rule, remember? 106 00:05:11,485 --> 00:05:13,868 No analyzing dreams before coffee. 107 00:05:14,212 --> 00:05:15,909 [indistinct chatter] 108 00:05:16,454 --> 00:05:18,829 Hi, could we get four iced coffees, please? 109 00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:20,744 Oh, could you get Abby's with milk? She likes milk. 110 00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:23,399 -One with milk. -What are you, her barista? 111 00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:26,399 [chuckles] It's not hard to remember "with milk." 112 00:05:30,493 --> 00:05:32,079 SIMON: Thank you. 113 00:05:32,157 --> 00:05:34,246 ♪ Hey I'm never the same 114 00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:38,055 ♪ It's a hundred miles an hour On a dirt road running away ♪ 115 00:05:39,164 --> 00:05:40,296 ABBY: Hey! 116 00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:44,692 -Hey. -Hey. 117 00:05:44,735 --> 00:05:47,129 [gasps] Oh, thank you. I am figuratively dying. 118 00:05:47,172 --> 00:05:49,218 So, Abby, last night I dreamt 119 00:05:49,261 --> 00:05:50,828 I put the wrong contacts in my eyes. 120 00:05:50,872 --> 00:05:52,917 -Another dream. You're like... -SIMON: Hmm. 121 00:05:52,961 --> 00:05:54,397 You're like the love child of 122 00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:56,704 Sigmund Freud and Cristiano Ronaldo. 123 00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:58,356 -Oh, my God. -Thanks. 124 00:05:58,445 --> 00:06:00,011 Now, look. I can't see anything 125 00:06:00,055 --> 00:06:01,578 and I'm stumbling around in this cave, 126 00:06:01,622 --> 00:06:04,184 crashing into stuff, and then, I wake up. 127 00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:05,965 -That's it? -NICK: Yeah. 128 00:06:06,714 --> 00:06:08,585 Maybe it's something that you're not seeing clearly. 129 00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:11,098 Like something that's, like, right in front of your face. 130 00:06:11,109 --> 00:06:12,731 What am I not seeing? 131 00:06:13,585 --> 00:06:15,108 [exhales] No idea. 132 00:06:15,984 --> 00:06:18,247 ["Love me" playing] 133 00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:21,903 Ooh! Ooh! 134 00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:29,824 [indistinct chatter] 135 00:06:38,049 --> 00:06:41,531 ♪ Hey, would you like to 136 00:06:41,575 --> 00:06:45,492 ♪ Look outside sometimes? No ♪ 137 00:06:45,535 --> 00:06:49,670 ♪ I'm just With my friends online ♪ 138 00:06:49,713 --> 00:06:52,716 ♪ And there's things We'd like to change... ♪ 139 00:06:52,888 --> 00:06:54,968 We should be hot Pokémon for Halloween. 140 00:06:54,979 --> 00:06:56,328 Oh, yeah. 141 00:06:56,372 --> 00:06:57,286 But I get to be slutty Charmander. 142 00:06:57,329 --> 00:06:58,809 Cool scarf, Ethan. 143 00:06:58,853 --> 00:07:00,463 Hope it doesn't get caught in your vagina. 144 00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:02,552 Great choice on the cargo pants, by the way. 145 00:07:02,596 --> 00:07:05,207 It looks like you got gangbanged by a T.J. Maxx. 146 00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:07,020 Whatever, fag. [laughs] 147 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:11,387 ETHAN: Honestly, it's just not even a challenge anymore. 148 00:07:11,574 --> 00:07:12,597 LEAH: Dicks. 149 00:07:12,674 --> 00:07:14,926 Wish Ethan wouldn't make it so easy for them. 150 00:07:14,999 --> 00:07:16,729 Yeah, well, at my old school, 151 00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:18,427 that would have been settled with a knife fight. 152 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,702 -[bell rings] -Good morning, Creekwood High! 153 00:07:21,745 --> 00:07:23,225 Come on, phones off! 154 00:07:23,268 --> 00:07:25,042 There's a whole world to look at! 155 00:07:25,053 --> 00:07:26,837 You can look people in the eyes! 156 00:07:26,881 --> 00:07:29,274 [groans] Gah! Yeah. 157 00:07:29,318 --> 00:07:30,711 Stop with the selfies. You're not all that. 158 00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:32,827 -I'll see you guys at lunch. -Yeah. 159 00:07:32,843 --> 00:07:34,976 Wow! Simonay. 160 00:07:35,019 --> 00:07:36,891 Look at those new kicks, my brother. 161 00:07:36,934 --> 00:07:38,751 Where'd you get those? Where could I get a pair of those? 162 00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:40,285 -I forget. Sorry. -You forget? 163 00:07:40,329 --> 00:07:41,504 Come on, you gotta let me know the brand! 164 00:07:41,548 --> 00:07:43,201 I want to be sneaker brothers. 165 00:07:43,245 --> 00:07:46,663 Oh, I see more phones! Who took your phones now? 166 00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:51,569 Me! Me! Me took your phones now! You can get 'em at my office! 167 00:07:52,254 --> 00:07:54,822 I can't believe we have to be off book, in like, two weeks. 168 00:07:54,865 --> 00:07:57,248 Seriously, Sally Bowles never shuts the eff up. 169 00:07:57,259 --> 00:07:58,695 SIMON: Don't you wish you were talentless like me? 170 00:07:58,739 --> 00:08:00,116 Here. Let me show you a thing or two. 171 00:08:00,127 --> 00:08:01,514 SIMON: Because then you could just be living the easy life 172 00:08:01,525 --> 00:08:02,993 as company member number eight. 173 00:08:03,004 --> 00:08:04,116 [Abby laughs] 174 00:08:04,135 --> 00:08:05,746 Well, well, well... 175 00:08:06,311 --> 00:08:08,647 If it isn't my fellow thespians. 176 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,533 Hey, Martin. 177 00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:13,061 Hey, Spier. Hey, Abby. 178 00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:14,319 Hi. 179 00:08:14,330 --> 00:08:16,569 Excited to rehearse with you later. 180 00:08:17,409 --> 00:08:18,976 Hey, uh, so, fun fact. 181 00:08:18,987 --> 00:08:20,576 You know that Cabaret was actually based off a play 182 00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:22,066 called I Am Camera? 183 00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:23,633 Then I Am a Camera was based off 184 00:08:23,677 --> 00:08:25,896 this novel called Goodbye to Berlin. 185 00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:28,203 And Goodbye to Berlin was actually based off 186 00:08:28,246 --> 00:08:29,975 Christopher Isherwood's 187 00:08:29,987 --> 00:08:31,978 -early years in Berlin. -[bell rings] 188 00:08:31,989 --> 00:08:33,861 Wow. That's awesome. I have homeroom. 189 00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:35,061 Yeah. All right. 190 00:08:35,072 --> 00:08:36,505 Well, I think she found that interesting. 191 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:37,671 Bye, Martin. 192 00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:39,519 Bye, big boy. [chuckles] 193 00:08:40,563 --> 00:08:43,030 Suraj! Now. 194 00:08:44,362 --> 00:08:46,491 Come on. You know the drill. 195 00:08:47,219 --> 00:08:50,214 EMILY: I've had an inspiration. How aboutThe Affair? 196 00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:52,575 No. No. We cannot watch The Affairas a family. 197 00:08:52,586 --> 00:08:55,066 -Why not? -Because it's all about sex. 198 00:08:55,094 --> 00:08:57,569 Oh, well, God forbid we should watch people make love. 199 00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:59,060 Oh, God. 200 00:08:59,103 --> 00:09:01,062 Oh, my God. You guys are so repressed. 201 00:09:01,108 --> 00:09:04,402 Don't therapize us, okay? We are not your patients. 202 00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:06,360 -We're your family. -EMILY: That's true. 203 00:09:06,371 --> 00:09:07,938 If you were my patients, you'd be much more well-adjusted. 204 00:09:07,982 --> 00:09:10,582 -Oh. Nice therapy burn, baby. -Thank you. 205 00:09:10,593 --> 00:09:12,421 -She got you. -You know what? 206 00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:14,325 We didn't see last week's episode of The Bachelor. 207 00:09:14,336 --> 00:09:15,946 Yeah, how did that guy even become the bachelor? 208 00:09:15,990 --> 00:09:16,947 Why? 209 00:09:16,991 --> 00:09:18,718 Well, he's clearly gay. 210 00:09:18,812 --> 00:09:20,636 -NORA: No, he's not. -Really? 211 00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:21,691 -He's handsome. -That date, 212 00:09:21,735 --> 00:09:23,084 where he took the girl to 213 00:09:23,127 --> 00:09:24,607 the "make your own perfume" place? 214 00:09:24,651 --> 00:09:25,913 Dad! The producers plan those dates. 215 00:09:25,956 --> 00:09:27,654 He is so fruity. He's so fruity. 216 00:09:27,697 --> 00:09:29,525 He's a one-man pride parade. Are you kidding me? 217 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,092 -He has more chemistry -Just stop it. 218 00:09:31,135 --> 00:09:33,905 with Chris Harrison, than any of those girls. 219 00:09:35,052 --> 00:09:37,130 [whispers] After this, I gotta show you something. 220 00:09:37,141 --> 00:09:38,839 Okay? Let's watch The Americans. 221 00:09:38,882 --> 00:09:40,710 EMILY: Every single episode, you here next to me. 222 00:09:40,754 --> 00:09:42,364 So your mother decided that we should make 223 00:09:42,407 --> 00:09:44,105 each other anniversary presents this year. 224 00:09:44,148 --> 00:09:46,237 You know, so they came from the heart, or some crap. 225 00:09:46,281 --> 00:09:48,631 Anyway, I decided to come up with this bad boy. 226 00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:49,980 Look at this. 227 00:09:49,991 --> 00:09:52,733 I present to you, a Jack Spier production. 228 00:09:52,766 --> 00:09:54,245 -[mouse clicks] -["Heaven" playing] 229 00:09:54,267 --> 00:09:56,834 ♪ I don't need to be the king Of the world ♪ 230 00:09:56,917 --> 00:09:58,288 Wait, wait. 231 00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:00,296 Look at that! 232 00:10:00,512 --> 00:10:02,471 Oh, it's so good. 233 00:10:02,599 --> 00:10:07,178 ♪ As long as I'm the hero Of this little girl ♪ 234 00:10:07,623 --> 00:10:09,718 Look at this. Wait, wait, wait. 235 00:10:10,084 --> 00:10:11,999 ♪ Heaven isn't too far away 236 00:10:12,010 --> 00:10:13,471 SIMON: Yup. Okay. 237 00:10:13,482 --> 00:10:14,396 [stops video] 238 00:10:14,745 --> 00:10:16,108 What are you... 239 00:10:16,354 --> 00:10:18,574 Look, this is your 20th anniversary, 240 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,870 so I'm gonna be super real with you right now. 241 00:10:20,881 --> 00:10:22,709 This looks like a fourth grader made it. 242 00:10:22,752 --> 00:10:25,320 And not even the smartest fourth grader in the class. 243 00:10:25,363 --> 00:10:27,017 Just, like, a deeply average fourth grader. 244 00:10:27,061 --> 00:10:28,932 What are you talking about? This is amazing. 245 00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:31,108 I got fade-ins. I got dissolves. 246 00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:32,632 -This is beautiful. -Get up for a second. 247 00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:34,185 I'll help you. Trust me. 248 00:10:34,196 --> 00:10:36,767 We can make this good. We just gotta put in... 249 00:10:36,778 --> 00:10:38,719 you know, some home video. 250 00:10:38,911 --> 00:10:41,797 Maybe put in some better music. 251 00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:44,545 "Better music"? This was huge when we were young. 252 00:10:44,556 --> 00:10:46,689 Yeah. So was Bill Cosby. 253 00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:48,778 ["Waterloo Sunset" playing] 254 00:10:52,477 --> 00:10:56,786 [cell phone ringing] 255 00:10:59,549 --> 00:11:00,585 Hey. 256 00:11:00,596 --> 00:11:01,911 Have you seen the new post? 257 00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:03,553 No. What? Oh, my God. 258 00:11:03,564 --> 00:11:05,654 You know, I'm never getting back in that pool again. 259 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:08,014 Wait, no. About the closeted gay kid at school. 260 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:11,735 What? 261 00:11:11,746 --> 00:11:14,097 LEAH: Yeah, it's onCreek Secrets. 262 00:11:14,264 --> 00:11:16,919 ♪ People so busy Makes me feel dizzy ♪ 263 00:11:16,930 --> 00:11:19,498 ♪ Taxi light shines So bright... ♪ 264 00:11:22,943 --> 00:11:24,727 -Who do you think it is? -[exhales] 265 00:11:24,771 --> 00:11:26,349 I bet it's that sophomore 266 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:28,024 with the rimless glasses. I get a vibe. 267 00:11:28,035 --> 00:11:29,253 -Actually. -Hmm. 268 00:11:29,297 --> 00:11:31,388 Maybe it's Parker O'Malley. 269 00:11:31,429 --> 00:11:32,909 I've heard he's, like, obsessed withLes Mis. 270 00:11:32,953 --> 00:11:34,650 Oh, gosh. Jeez. I gotta go. 271 00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,478 Bieber just took a dump on the floor. 272 00:11:36,521 --> 00:11:37,817 LEAH: Aw, Beebs. 273 00:11:37,828 --> 00:11:40,338 -Feed him some rice... -Can I call you back? 274 00:11:42,593 --> 00:11:45,715 SIMON: "Sometimes, I feel like I'm stuck on a Ferris wheel. 275 00:11:45,726 --> 00:11:47,478 One minute I'm on top of the world, 276 00:11:47,489 --> 00:11:48,838 and the next, I'm at rock bottom. 277 00:11:48,882 --> 00:11:51,232 Over and over, all day long. 278 00:11:51,275 --> 00:11:53,321 Because a lot of my life is great, 279 00:11:53,364 --> 00:11:55,333 but nobody knows I'm gay. 280 00:11:55,366 --> 00:11:56,280 Blue 281 00:11:57,238 --> 00:11:58,239 [exhales] 282 00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:05,959 ♪ As long as I gaze on Waterloo sunset ♪ 283 00:12:06,856 --> 00:12:08,728 ♪ I am in paradise 284 00:12:12,775 --> 00:12:17,519 ♪ Every day I look at the world From my window ♪ 285 00:12:21,523 --> 00:12:25,005 ♪ But chilly, chilly Is the evening time ♪ 286 00:12:25,483 --> 00:12:30,575 ♪ Waterloo sunset's fine Waterloo sunset's fine ♪ 287 00:12:33,143 --> 00:12:37,321 ♪ Terry meets Julie Waterloo Station ♪ 288 00:12:37,844 --> 00:12:40,368 ♪ Every Friday night 289 00:12:40,411 --> 00:12:41,958 [clears throat] 290 00:12:42,936 --> 00:12:46,548 ♪ But I am so lazy Don't want to wander... ♪ 291 00:12:46,804 --> 00:12:48,412 Blue. Okay. 292 00:12:49,725 --> 00:12:50,682 [exhales] 293 00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:57,602 ♪ But I don't feel afraid 294 00:12:58,513 --> 00:13:01,378 SIMON: Dear Blue, I'm just like you. 295 00:13:01,389 --> 00:13:03,217 For the most part, my life is totally normal. 296 00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:04,784 My dad was the annoyingly handsome quarterback 297 00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:06,524 who married the hot valedictorian. 298 00:13:06,568 --> 00:13:08,276 And no, they didn't peak in high school. 299 00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:09,701 I have a sister I actually like. 300 00:13:09,745 --> 00:13:10,964 Not that I'd ever tell her that. 301 00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:12,966 And then, there's my friends. 302 00:13:13,009 --> 00:13:14,619 We do everything friends do. We drink way too much... 303 00:13:14,663 --> 00:13:16,587 So, like I said, I'm just like you. 304 00:13:16,598 --> 00:13:18,444 I have a totally, perfectly normal life. 305 00:13:18,455 --> 00:13:20,787 Except I have one huge-ass secret. 306 00:13:26,631 --> 00:13:31,027 ♪ As long as they gaze on Waterloo sunset ♪ 307 00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:33,421 ♪ They are in paradise 308 00:13:45,563 --> 00:13:46,477 Jacques. 309 00:13:48,218 --> 00:13:52,266 ♪ Waterloo sunset's fine Waterloo sunset's fine ♪ 310 00:13:58,489 --> 00:14:00,230 [panting] 311 00:14:00,970 --> 00:14:02,493 Hey. Morning. 312 00:14:04,974 --> 00:14:05,888 [cell phone chimes] 313 00:14:16,116 --> 00:14:17,030 [sighs] 314 00:14:18,118 --> 00:14:19,032 Nothin'. 315 00:14:23,253 --> 00:14:25,081 TEACHER: Math is what we're talking about. 316 00:14:25,092 --> 00:14:27,943 Can anyone answer for me how we find the value 317 00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:31,914 of "d-y by d-x" that I have written up on the board? 318 00:14:32,885 --> 00:14:35,385 Does anyone want to... Yes! Simon. 319 00:14:35,630 --> 00:14:37,409 Can I go to the bathroom? 320 00:14:37,528 --> 00:14:38,921 Sure, it's fine. 321 00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:40,135 Thanks. 322 00:15:01,726 --> 00:15:02,727 [sighs] 323 00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:07,297 Simon. Simon. 324 00:15:07,341 --> 00:15:09,549 -Yeah. -Can I get some fries? 325 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,256 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 326 00:15:12,041 --> 00:15:13,825 GARRETT: I'm telling you, the Oakwood Tigers 327 00:15:13,869 --> 00:15:15,479 score so many goals because they shave their legs. 328 00:15:15,523 --> 00:15:17,481 Garrett, I'm not gonna shave my legs. 329 00:15:17,525 --> 00:15:19,951 It makes their kicks more aerodynamic. 330 00:15:19,962 --> 00:15:21,833 We can just do extra burpees, man. 331 00:15:21,877 --> 00:15:23,183 Whatever, Bram. 332 00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:26,294 Guys, I just found a press-on nail in my salad. 333 00:15:27,477 --> 00:15:29,050 BOTH: Debbie. 334 00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:30,712 [indistinct chatter] 335 00:15:33,665 --> 00:15:36,195 Why is there no cell reception at this school? 336 00:15:36,206 --> 00:15:37,472 I swear to God. 337 00:15:43,812 --> 00:15:46,119 -Simonay, Simonay. -Hey. 338 00:15:46,162 --> 00:15:48,164 What are you doing? You can't text in the halls. 339 00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:49,513 How many times have I told you that? 340 00:15:49,557 --> 00:15:50,785 I can't have all my students 341 00:15:50,796 --> 00:15:52,331 Tindering it up. That's my department. 342 00:15:52,342 --> 00:15:53,517 -Right. -[laughing] 343 00:15:53,561 --> 00:15:54,621 It actually is. 344 00:15:54,632 --> 00:15:56,286 I got a really hot date on Tinder tonight. 345 00:15:56,297 --> 00:15:57,949 She is cute! 346 00:15:58,740 --> 00:16:02,831 "Ew! Vice principals can't go on dates. That's gross." 347 00:16:02,874 --> 00:16:04,691 We're people too, Simon. 348 00:16:04,702 --> 00:16:06,443 We like to go out. We like to have a good time. 349 00:16:06,487 --> 00:16:08,358 We like to have sex. That's not a big deal, right? 350 00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:09,809 Yeah, no. No biggie at all. 351 00:16:09,820 --> 00:16:11,698 Actually. You know, I totally see you as a person. 352 00:16:11,709 --> 00:16:12,910 -Thank you. I appreciate that. -Yeah. 353 00:16:12,921 --> 00:16:14,324 -Thank you very much. -You're welcome. 354 00:16:14,335 --> 00:16:15,553 -Seriously. -Yeah. Yeah. 355 00:16:15,564 --> 00:16:16,692 Could I just get my phone though? 356 00:16:16,703 --> 00:16:17,791 No. Unfortunately, I'm gonna have to keep it 357 00:16:17,802 --> 00:16:19,663 until after play practice. 358 00:16:19,674 --> 00:16:21,110 But you will get your precious 359 00:16:21,121 --> 00:16:22,757 after play practice, okay? I promise. 360 00:16:22,801 --> 00:16:24,505 So how's play practice going? 361 00:16:24,548 --> 00:16:25,941 -SIMON: Great. Yeah, it's... -MR. WORTH: How's Ms. Albright? 362 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,595 SIMON: She's good. 363 00:16:27,638 --> 00:16:29,423 MR. WORTH: She's good? She doesn't like men. 364 00:16:29,771 --> 00:16:33,644 ♪ Willkommen, bienvenue 365 00:16:33,688 --> 00:16:39,041 ♪ Welcome im cabaret 366 00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:40,390 [laughs] 367 00:16:40,434 --> 00:16:46,135 ♪ Au cabaret, to cabaret 368 00:16:54,274 --> 00:16:55,927 [claps] 369 00:16:56,419 --> 00:16:57,768 Okay. 370 00:16:57,779 --> 00:17:01,602 Those aren't actual claps. My hands are tired! [chuckles] 371 00:17:02,412 --> 00:17:04,284 Okay! All right. 372 00:17:04,675 --> 00:17:05,961 That was... 373 00:17:06,938 --> 00:17:08,636 Cal, help me. That was... 374 00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:10,029 That was a start? 375 00:17:10,072 --> 00:17:12,161 That was a start! Is what it was. 376 00:17:12,205 --> 00:17:13,344 That was a start. 377 00:17:13,355 --> 00:17:16,117 You know, when Mr. Worth told me that no student, 378 00:17:16,252 --> 00:17:18,328 regardless of talent... [chuckles] 379 00:17:18,646 --> 00:17:21,551 ...was to be left out of my production, I had my doubts. 380 00:17:21,562 --> 00:17:23,129 Yes, I did. [chuckles] 381 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:24,913 Yeah. 382 00:17:26,088 --> 00:17:28,308 That's it. That's my whole speech. 383 00:17:28,351 --> 00:17:29,744 TAYLOR: Ms. Albright. 384 00:17:29,755 --> 00:17:32,268 Hi. That was the biggest train wreck 385 00:17:32,312 --> 00:17:33,443 our stage has ever seen. 386 00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:35,054 And Rob and Brianne 387 00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:36,566 were practically dry humping the whole song. 388 00:17:36,577 --> 00:17:37,708 MS. ALBRIGHT: Oh, I saw. 389 00:17:37,904 --> 00:17:41,258 Save the kissing for the cast party. All right? 390 00:17:41,335 --> 00:17:45,102 This is war. You're Nazis. Okay? More anger. 391 00:17:45,586 --> 00:17:48,763 Suraj, stop pretending that trumpet is your penis! 392 00:17:49,024 --> 00:17:50,656 -My boy. -[all laughing] 393 00:17:50,982 --> 00:17:52,027 It is a rental. 394 00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:56,118 I was an extra in The Lion King, 395 00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:57,813 and this is where I am. 396 00:18:00,325 --> 00:18:01,849 Hey. What time is it? 397 00:18:01,863 --> 00:18:04,383 Ten minutes since the last time you asked. Go. 398 00:18:04,822 --> 00:18:07,042 One! Two! Three! Four! 399 00:18:07,956 --> 00:18:09,436 ABBY: ♪ Welcome... ♪ 400 00:18:09,479 --> 00:18:11,328 MS. ALBRIGHT: I will kill you. 401 00:18:11,550 --> 00:18:13,726 Oy, yoy, yoy, yoy, yo! 402 00:18:14,018 --> 00:18:15,883 -Mr. Worth. -Hey, what's up, my brother? 403 00:18:15,964 --> 00:18:17,531 Hey, just here for my phone. 404 00:18:17,574 --> 00:18:19,750 Oh, of course you are. Of course you are. 405 00:18:19,794 --> 00:18:21,274 How'd you enjoy being unplugged? 406 00:18:21,317 --> 00:18:22,275 It was great. 407 00:18:22,286 --> 00:18:23,531 -Great, right? -Yeah. 408 00:18:23,542 --> 00:18:25,516 This isn't life, man. This is plugged. 409 00:18:25,527 --> 00:18:27,007 -This is unplugged. -Mm-hmm. 410 00:18:27,018 --> 00:18:29,125 Plugged. Unplugged. 411 00:18:29,198 --> 00:18:32,039 All right, Simon, I know that I'm hard on you. I really do. 412 00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:33,764 SIMON: Mm-hmm. 413 00:18:33,808 --> 00:18:36,191 But it's only 'cause I really see myself in you. 414 00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:39,030 Uh... You know, I don't know if I'd say that. 415 00:18:39,074 --> 00:18:41,438 No, I see it, it's obvious. It's obvious. 416 00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:42,817 I know there's a lot 417 00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:44,340 -going on there, man. -Yup. 418 00:18:44,384 --> 00:18:45,907 And I bet you got a lot of questions. 419 00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:47,563 Is there something you wanna say to me? 420 00:18:47,711 --> 00:18:49,171 No. 421 00:18:49,215 --> 00:18:50,891 You know my policy. What does it say? 422 00:18:50,902 --> 00:18:53,555 -"Open door. Open ears." -"Open door. Open ears." 423 00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:54,872 There's nothing you want to say? 424 00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:56,570 -Nope. -You sure? 425 00:18:56,918 --> 00:18:57,789 -Yeah. -Okay. 426 00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:59,062 -It's a great sign though. -Thank you. 427 00:18:59,073 --> 00:19:01,378 Thank you. Now don't text and drive. 428 00:19:01,389 --> 00:19:02,347 That's how my cat got murdered. 429 00:19:02,358 --> 00:19:03,563 -Okay. -[laughs] 430 00:19:03,574 --> 00:19:06,641 I'm just kidding. I don't have cats. I got asthma. 431 00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:22,117 [sighs] 432 00:19:23,977 --> 00:19:25,570 BLUE: A secret, huh? 433 00:19:25,686 --> 00:19:27,680 Is it the same as my secret? 434 00:19:27,818 --> 00:19:29,994 If it is, when did you know? 435 00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:32,500 -Have you told anyone? Blue. -[horn honking] 436 00:19:34,869 --> 00:19:35,783 Okay. 437 00:19:48,569 --> 00:19:51,133 SIMON: No, Blue. I haven't told anyone. 438 00:19:51,863 --> 00:19:54,757 And, honestly, I can't even really explain why. 439 00:19:55,629 --> 00:19:58,186 Deep down, I know my family would be fine with it. 440 00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:00,594 Hey, what rhymes with "patriarchy"? 441 00:20:00,982 --> 00:20:02,789 That says "patriachy" though. 442 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:04,183 Oh, shit. 443 00:20:05,118 --> 00:20:07,367 SIMON: My mom's about as liberal as they come. 444 00:20:07,597 --> 00:20:10,181 And my dad isn't exactly the macho type. 445 00:20:10,756 --> 00:20:12,635 I mean, Creekwood's resident 446 00:20:12,646 --> 00:20:14,506 out-gay kid seems to be doing just fine. 447 00:20:14,517 --> 00:20:16,215 When Ethan came out, no one even cared. 448 00:20:16,258 --> 00:20:18,826 Guys, I have something to tell you. 449 00:20:19,696 --> 00:20:20,654 I'm gay. 450 00:20:21,411 --> 00:20:24,327 Wow, really? That's really great, Ethan. 451 00:20:25,093 --> 00:20:26,744 Oh, my God. No way. 452 00:20:27,008 --> 00:20:29,663 Oh, my God, you are? I had no idea. 453 00:20:29,706 --> 00:20:31,578 What a complete surprise! 454 00:20:31,621 --> 00:20:32,883 Too much, Claire. 455 00:20:33,536 --> 00:20:35,277 SIMON: As for how I knew I was gay, 456 00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:37,346 it was a bunch of little things. 457 00:20:37,888 --> 00:20:39,455 Like this one recurring dream 458 00:20:39,499 --> 00:20:41,681 I kept having about Daniel Radcliffe. 459 00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:50,150 And then proceeded to have every night for a month. 460 00:20:55,616 --> 00:20:57,810 I was obsessed with Panic! at the Disco. 461 00:20:57,821 --> 00:21:00,139 I can't. He's so cute. He's so cute. 462 00:21:00,150 --> 00:21:01,586 [clears throat] 463 00:21:01,597 --> 00:21:03,305 Come on, he's like Jesus and chocolate. 464 00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:04,905 Just look at him. 465 00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:06,200 SIMON: Then I realized 466 00:21:06,211 --> 00:21:08,247 it really wasn't about the music. 467 00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:10,388 And then there was my first girlfriend. 468 00:21:10,399 --> 00:21:12,477 I think I'm falling in love with you. 469 00:21:12,488 --> 00:21:14,717 Wow. Thank you. Be right back. 470 00:21:17,808 --> 00:21:19,670 Wasn't my proudest moment. 471 00:21:27,448 --> 00:21:29,712 How 'bout you? How did you know? 472 00:21:29,723 --> 00:21:31,551 Warmly, Jacques. 473 00:21:36,317 --> 00:21:38,061 Fondly, Jacques. 474 00:21:43,243 --> 00:21:44,157 Jacques. 475 00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:52,975 [cell phone chimes] 476 00:21:57,023 --> 00:21:58,938 BLUE: Jacques, don't worry. 477 00:21:58,949 --> 00:22:00,786 If your proudest moment happened in middle school, 478 00:22:00,797 --> 00:22:02,522 that would be pretty sad. 479 00:22:02,533 --> 00:22:04,094 For me, I realized I liked guys 480 00:22:04,105 --> 00:22:05,350 watchingGame of Thrones. 481 00:22:05,361 --> 00:22:06,991 My friends were all holding their breath 482 00:22:07,002 --> 00:22:09,842 waiting to see the Dragon Princess's boobs. 483 00:22:09,971 --> 00:22:12,264 I was crushing hard on Jon Snow. 484 00:22:12,514 --> 00:22:14,342 SIMON: Well, I've never told anyone 485 00:22:14,353 --> 00:22:17,194 about my Daniel Radcliffe phase so now we're even. 486 00:22:17,205 --> 00:22:18,373 And for the record, 487 00:22:18,384 --> 00:22:20,066 I think Jon Snow is an excellent choice 488 00:22:20,077 --> 00:22:21,553 for your sexual awakening. 489 00:22:21,564 --> 00:22:23,369 So I guess, if I want to find you at school 490 00:22:23,380 --> 00:22:26,088 I just have to look for theGame of Thrones fanatic. 491 00:22:36,663 --> 00:22:38,100 Wow. 492 00:22:38,143 --> 00:22:39,936 I was just listening to that M83 song "Reunion," 493 00:22:39,947 --> 00:22:41,678 and it made me think of you. 494 00:22:41,689 --> 00:22:44,248 BLUE: You'll probably think my music taste is lame. 495 00:22:44,594 --> 00:22:46,266 Kind of have the same taste as my Aunt Sally 496 00:22:46,277 --> 00:22:47,801 who loves show tunes. 497 00:22:47,812 --> 00:22:50,412 Obviously, some of the things I've told you about myself 498 00:22:50,423 --> 00:22:52,821 are things I've never talked about with anyone. 499 00:22:52,832 --> 00:22:54,977 There's something about you that makes me want to open up. 500 00:22:54,988 --> 00:22:57,365 And that's slightly terrifying for me. 501 00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:58,638 SIMON: So I've been thinking, 502 00:22:58,681 --> 00:23:00,087 maybe I should be Jon Snow for Halloween. 503 00:23:00,098 --> 00:23:02,313 What about you? Who are you gonna be? 504 00:23:03,284 --> 00:23:05,202 BLUE: I'm not dressing up. For me, 505 00:23:05,213 --> 00:23:06,619 Halloween's all about the Oreos 506 00:23:06,630 --> 00:23:08,579 with the orange frosting in the middle. 507 00:23:10,214 --> 00:23:11,955 -Hey, hey, hey! -Hey. 508 00:23:11,999 --> 00:23:14,436 Wow. Look at that smile. You're glowing, man. 509 00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:14,991 No. 510 00:23:15,002 --> 00:23:16,645 You are glowing. You look happy. 511 00:23:16,656 --> 00:23:17,700 Oh, just regular. 512 00:23:17,744 --> 00:23:18,832 -Oh, yeah? -Yeah. 513 00:23:18,875 --> 00:23:20,343 Me too. I'm a little meh. 514 00:23:21,668 --> 00:23:23,148 Why "meh"? 515 00:23:23,159 --> 00:23:26,916 Oh, I had my big Tinder date last night. Oh, God. 516 00:23:26,927 --> 00:23:28,885 She was not into it. [chuckles] 517 00:23:29,495 --> 00:23:30,843 At. All. 518 00:23:31,148 --> 00:23:32,367 [bell ringing] 519 00:23:32,411 --> 00:23:34,108 -Oh, come on. Too soon. -No. 520 00:23:34,151 --> 00:23:35,501 The bell is a buzzkill. 521 00:23:35,544 --> 00:23:37,788 -See you, Mr. Worth. -All right. 522 00:23:38,232 --> 00:23:39,451 [Simon sighs] 523 00:23:39,462 --> 00:23:40,675 Well, thank you for your help, Fraulein. 524 00:23:40,686 --> 00:23:42,079 You're welcome. 525 00:23:42,090 --> 00:23:45,366 German accent for Cabaret. Yup. Take care, Ms. Bradley. 526 00:23:46,947 --> 00:23:47,904 Ladies. 527 00:23:49,471 --> 00:23:52,169 Let's see what you got, interwebs. 528 00:23:58,235 --> 00:23:59,905 LEAH: Here are your burnt tots, 529 00:23:59,916 --> 00:24:02,018 because you have horrible taste. 530 00:24:02,702 --> 00:24:04,051 SIMON: Here's your green banana, 531 00:24:04,094 --> 00:24:05,721 because you like disgusting things. 532 00:24:05,748 --> 00:24:06,924 Wow, you guys are weird. 533 00:24:06,935 --> 00:24:09,155 Yup. They're practically Cantonese twins. 534 00:24:09,407 --> 00:24:11,534 -Siamese. -Yeah. Siamese. 535 00:24:12,233 --> 00:24:13,756 Yeah, agree to disagree. 536 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:15,192 I don't think that's one of those things 537 00:24:15,236 --> 00:24:16,542 where you can agree to disagree. 538 00:24:16,585 --> 00:24:17,586 ...disagree. -It's just right. 539 00:24:17,630 --> 00:24:19,229 NICK: To each his own. 540 00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:20,401 BRAM: Oreos. 541 00:24:21,372 --> 00:24:22,932 Man, I love those. 542 00:24:22,983 --> 00:24:24,158 Halloween ones are the best, right? 543 00:24:24,201 --> 00:24:25,115 Yeah. 544 00:24:26,317 --> 00:24:28,064 Er, so, guys, I have great news. 545 00:24:28,075 --> 00:24:29,816 My aunt's boyfriend just took off 546 00:24:29,859 --> 00:24:31,513 with her car and all her jewelry. 547 00:24:31,557 --> 00:24:32,955 Bram, that's terrible news! 548 00:24:32,966 --> 00:24:34,315 I know, but it's like, 549 00:24:34,326 --> 00:24:35,457 the third time it's happened to her. 550 00:24:35,468 --> 00:24:37,284 She has really bad taste in men. 551 00:24:37,533 --> 00:24:40,415 Anyways, my mom is going down to Orlando to deal with it 552 00:24:40,426 --> 00:24:43,682 which means I get to throw a Halloween party. 553 00:24:44,613 --> 00:24:45,875 -Awesome! -Yay! 554 00:24:45,919 --> 00:24:47,311 Nice! 555 00:24:47,355 --> 00:24:48,835 Thank you, Bram's dumb-ass aunt! 556 00:24:48,878 --> 00:24:50,489 All right, this is gonna be epic, you guys. 557 00:24:50,532 --> 00:24:52,316 I can bring my karaoke machine. 558 00:24:52,360 --> 00:24:54,057 All right, hey, guys, Halloween party Friday night! 559 00:24:54,068 --> 00:24:56,254 Friday night, Halloween party, okay? Bram's house! 560 00:24:56,265 --> 00:24:57,876 You really set this in motion, man. 561 00:24:57,887 --> 00:24:58,776 I know, right? 562 00:24:58,787 --> 00:24:59,620 -Hey, little guy. -Me? 563 00:24:59,631 --> 00:25:02,971 Halloween party. Friday night. Bram's house. Be there. 564 00:25:03,023 --> 00:25:03,980 You're gonna freak him out, man. 565 00:25:04,024 --> 00:25:05,373 GARRETT: Yeah. 566 00:25:05,883 --> 00:25:08,305 LEAH: I know. He's, like, nine years old. 567 00:25:14,038 --> 00:25:16,721 BLUE: Very relieved that we're in agreement on Oreos. 568 00:25:16,732 --> 00:25:19,336 That would have been a deal-breaker for me. 569 00:25:19,347 --> 00:25:23,078 On a totally different, non-cookie related note... 570 00:25:23,541 --> 00:25:26,152 is it weird that I have no idea what you look like, 571 00:25:26,163 --> 00:25:29,166 but I can't stop thinking about kissing you. 572 00:25:31,024 --> 00:25:33,287 TEACHER: Simon. Simon. 573 00:25:34,653 --> 00:25:36,398 Eyes on your own test. 574 00:25:45,466 --> 00:25:47,424 Don't stop on my account, Rob and Brianne. 575 00:25:47,435 --> 00:25:49,132 That's the most action I've seen in weeks. 576 00:25:49,143 --> 00:25:50,865 What do we got here? Ah! 577 00:25:50,876 --> 00:25:53,138 When we're done, it's gonna look 578 00:25:53,149 --> 00:25:56,568 like a real German sex club. Don't ask me how I know. 579 00:25:57,207 --> 00:26:00,123 Hey! Hey! The spray paint is for painting, 580 00:26:00,167 --> 00:26:01,124 not for huffing. 581 00:26:01,690 --> 00:26:03,594 You don't want to get good at that. 582 00:26:03,605 --> 00:26:05,128 Okay, do you guys think I should dye my hair grey 583 00:26:05,172 --> 00:26:07,008 -to play Fraulein Schneider? -Sure. 584 00:26:07,118 --> 00:26:08,730 TAYLOR: Really? But my hair is kind of like my thing. 585 00:26:08,741 --> 00:26:10,514 I'm gonna go get a soda. 586 00:26:10,525 --> 00:26:11,733 Do you want anything? 587 00:26:11,744 --> 00:26:12,632 No. 588 00:26:12,643 --> 00:26:14,884 MS. ALBRIGHT: You disgust me. 589 00:26:22,581 --> 00:26:24,887 Simon! Hey, hey, hey. 590 00:26:24,931 --> 00:26:26,323 -Hey, Martin. -Buddy. 591 00:26:26,652 --> 00:26:30,296 Hey, um, I used the computer in the library right after you. 592 00:26:30,937 --> 00:26:32,108 -Okay. -Mm-hmm. 593 00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:35,632 Well, I went to Gmail, and it pulled up your account. 594 00:26:36,029 --> 00:26:37,900 And I, uh, read some of your emails. 595 00:26:37,944 --> 00:26:39,510 I know I probably shouldn't've, 596 00:26:39,554 --> 00:26:41,240 but they were, like, right there. [chuckles] 597 00:26:41,251 --> 00:26:44,319 So you'll be interested to know my brother's gay. 598 00:26:46,855 --> 00:26:49,815 No. Martin, that wouldn't interest me to know. 599 00:26:50,298 --> 00:26:52,827 Okay. Don't worry. I won't show anyone. 600 00:26:53,481 --> 00:26:55,202 Show anyone what? 601 00:26:57,267 --> 00:26:58,791 Did you print my emails or something? 602 00:26:58,834 --> 00:27:00,662 Oh, no, no. [chuckles] 603 00:27:01,358 --> 00:27:02,969 I screenshot them. 604 00:27:03,012 --> 00:27:05,275 -You screenshotted my emails? -Mm-hmm. Yeah. 605 00:27:05,319 --> 00:27:07,319 Let me talk to you for a second. 606 00:27:07,974 --> 00:27:09,758 -Oh, Ms. Bradley. -MS. BRADLEY: Hello, Martin. 607 00:27:09,802 --> 00:27:11,589 -Did you feather your hair? -No. 608 00:27:12,239 --> 00:27:13,988 MARTIN: Looking good. 609 00:27:14,371 --> 00:27:15,934 This is a good section. 610 00:27:15,945 --> 00:27:17,481 MARTIN: Jeez. 611 00:27:18,326 --> 00:27:20,889 Now, why the hell did you screenshot my emails? 612 00:27:20,900 --> 00:27:23,772 Ah, well, you and Abby Susso are good friends. Right? 613 00:27:23,783 --> 00:27:25,578 Yeah. We know each other. 614 00:27:25,589 --> 00:27:26,982 What does that have to do with anything? 615 00:27:26,993 --> 00:27:29,419 Well, I need you to help me talk with her... 616 00:27:29,430 --> 00:27:31,214 and hang out with her and stuff, you know? 617 00:27:31,475 --> 00:27:33,504 Why would I help you do that? 618 00:27:34,690 --> 00:27:36,257 Are you blackmailing me? 619 00:27:36,268 --> 00:27:38,994 Oh, shh! Okay. Don't be so dramatic here, Simon. 620 00:27:39,005 --> 00:27:40,082 SIMON: Sup, Tyler? 621 00:27:40,093 --> 00:27:42,824 MARTIN: What's up, Tyler? Is that a Patagonia? 622 00:27:42,835 --> 00:27:45,238 Nice. I just like her. 623 00:27:45,664 --> 00:27:48,449 And I think that you could help me. 624 00:27:48,783 --> 00:27:50,611 Yeah, what if I say no, Martin? 625 00:27:50,622 --> 00:27:52,426 I mean, what are you gonna do? 626 00:27:52,453 --> 00:27:53,270 You gonna tell the whole school that I'm... 627 00:27:53,676 --> 00:27:55,543 You're gonna leak my emails? 628 00:27:55,586 --> 00:27:57,153 You're gonna post 'em on CreekSecrets? 629 00:27:57,197 --> 00:27:59,465 I just think that we're in a position here, 630 00:27:59,476 --> 00:28:01,624 where we could help each other out is all. 631 00:28:02,202 --> 00:28:03,348 So think about it. 632 00:28:04,004 --> 00:28:04,918 Good talk. 633 00:28:12,865 --> 00:28:14,954 You know, I never thought of a pepper 634 00:28:14,997 --> 00:28:16,172 -as being a vegetable... -[cell phone chimes] 635 00:28:16,216 --> 00:28:18,103 ...but it makes perfect sense. 636 00:28:18,131 --> 00:28:20,949 EMILY: I like the cilantro. A little Mexican flair, huh? 637 00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:22,733 JACK: Very creative, kiddo. 638 00:28:22,744 --> 00:28:24,868 You hate the peppers. Don't you? 639 00:28:25,253 --> 00:28:27,290 No. The peppers are great. 640 00:28:28,418 --> 00:28:30,267 I'm just gonna get some air. 641 00:28:40,895 --> 00:28:43,962 BRAM: Jacques, I have to get something off my chest. 642 00:28:43,983 --> 00:28:45,462 The other day, you asked me 643 00:28:45,506 --> 00:28:47,029 what I was wearing for Halloween 644 00:28:47,073 --> 00:28:49,239 and I said I wasn't dressing up. 645 00:28:49,510 --> 00:28:51,056 I lied. Truth is, 646 00:28:51,067 --> 00:28:52,927 I didn't want you to know what I was wearing 647 00:28:52,938 --> 00:28:55,743 because I don't want you to know who I am. 648 00:28:56,822 --> 00:28:57,900 Right now, these emails, 649 00:28:57,911 --> 00:29:00,057 they feel like this totally safe place. 650 00:29:00,913 --> 00:29:03,252 I'm just not ready for my whole world to change. 651 00:29:03,263 --> 00:29:04,941 I hope you understand. 652 00:29:04,952 --> 00:29:06,780 [indistinct conversation] 653 00:29:11,676 --> 00:29:14,449 SIMON: Yes, Blue. I understand. 654 00:29:30,159 --> 00:29:32,074 [sniffing] 655 00:29:32,886 --> 00:29:34,642 Okay, if you want me to help you with Abby, 656 00:29:34,685 --> 00:29:36,241 you cannot eat that. 657 00:29:36,252 --> 00:29:37,754 So you're gonna help me? 658 00:29:37,819 --> 00:29:38,733 Yeah. 659 00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:40,996 [chuckles] 660 00:29:41,366 --> 00:29:44,369 Simon, that is fantastic news. 661 00:29:45,174 --> 00:29:46,915 I really think that Abby and I are meant to be together. 662 00:29:46,959 --> 00:29:48,308 -Really? Do you? -Mm-hmm. 663 00:29:48,351 --> 00:29:49,744 It's not all about looks, Simon. 664 00:29:49,788 --> 00:29:52,225 Okay. So you're banking on your great, 665 00:29:52,268 --> 00:29:54,357 blackmaily personality to get the job done? 666 00:29:54,401 --> 00:29:56,490 -Where are we going? -Your place. 667 00:29:56,533 --> 00:29:57,883 We're gonna see if you have anything 668 00:29:57,926 --> 00:29:59,493 that doesn't scream, "punch me." 669 00:29:59,536 --> 00:30:01,582 Actually, I've got swim lessons. 670 00:30:01,596 --> 00:30:02,714 Cancel it! 671 00:30:03,289 --> 00:30:05,339 MARTIN: Okay, I just have to call my mom first. 672 00:30:05,350 --> 00:30:08,246 She has to approve everybody that comes in the house. 673 00:30:09,285 --> 00:30:10,983 All right. Here we go. 674 00:30:12,767 --> 00:30:15,117 All right. And here we are. 675 00:30:16,727 --> 00:30:17,859 This is where the magic happens. 676 00:30:17,903 --> 00:30:18,817 Wow. 677 00:30:19,165 --> 00:30:21,602 Ooh. Correction. [chuckles] 678 00:30:22,211 --> 00:30:24,387 This is where the magic happens. 679 00:30:26,041 --> 00:30:28,119 I've been dabbling in close-up illusions. 680 00:30:28,130 --> 00:30:29,436 Does Abby like magic? 681 00:30:29,613 --> 00:30:31,470 No. Martin, I don't think she does like magic. 682 00:30:31,481 --> 00:30:33,222 But, um, there's a really thin line 683 00:30:33,266 --> 00:30:35,921 between laughing with someone, and laughing at someone. 684 00:30:36,384 --> 00:30:37,777 And you are that line. 685 00:30:37,805 --> 00:30:39,154 So, if you want Abby to like you, 686 00:30:39,165 --> 00:30:40,188 what you have to do is you have to 687 00:30:40,199 --> 00:30:42,029 make her see you as more of a... 688 00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:43,259 As sexy Martin! 689 00:30:44,059 --> 00:30:46,192 Yeah! Yeah, I could be sexy. 690 00:30:48,585 --> 00:30:50,266 You like dudes. Tell me. 691 00:30:50,674 --> 00:30:52,067 What part of me do you find the hottest? 692 00:30:52,111 --> 00:30:54,069 -No. I'm not doing this. -No. Come on. 693 00:30:54,113 --> 00:30:55,592 No, Martin. I don't want to answer that. 694 00:30:55,636 --> 00:30:57,116 Look, if you said my shoulders 695 00:30:57,159 --> 00:30:59,619 I would dress to accentuate. You know? 696 00:30:59,988 --> 00:31:02,166 You know what? Here's your first tip. 697 00:31:02,253 --> 00:31:03,559 Ripped. 698 00:31:03,641 --> 00:31:06,165 Girls, they don't want to read your clothes. 699 00:31:06,239 --> 00:31:07,544 I think you're wrong about that one. 700 00:31:08,101 --> 00:31:10,134 How many of these do you have? 701 00:31:10,303 --> 00:31:13,306 Please, just stop! Hey! Stop! 702 00:31:13,741 --> 00:31:16,580 Look, I don't want your help in changing me. 703 00:31:16,919 --> 00:31:20,183 I want your help in getting Abby to like me for me. 704 00:31:22,968 --> 00:31:23,969 Look. Um... 705 00:31:26,014 --> 00:31:28,887 there's a party this Saturday. At Bram's. 706 00:31:31,636 --> 00:31:33,706 Do you want to go with my friends and I? 707 00:31:33,717 --> 00:31:34,631 Yes! 708 00:31:34,879 --> 00:31:36,994 Yes! So simple. 709 00:31:37,837 --> 00:31:39,404 Must be why they call you Simple Simon. 710 00:31:39,810 --> 00:31:41,728 Nobody calls me that, Martin. 711 00:31:42,206 --> 00:31:44,822 Hey, uh, do you want to, like, sleep over? 712 00:31:45,101 --> 00:31:46,150 SIMON: Nope. 713 00:31:56,349 --> 00:31:57,437 Oh, hello. 714 00:31:58,046 --> 00:31:59,254 Hey, what's up? 715 00:31:59,278 --> 00:32:00,820 -Nice, right? -LEAH: Nick. 716 00:32:00,831 --> 00:32:01,723 Good? 717 00:32:01,734 --> 00:32:04,278 This is, like, a new level of laziness, even for you. 718 00:32:04,289 --> 00:32:06,575 What do you mean? I'm Cristiano Ronaldo. 719 00:32:06,586 --> 00:32:07,979 And you couldn't even be bothered 720 00:32:07,990 --> 00:32:09,270 to fill in the letters on the back? 721 00:32:09,281 --> 00:32:11,022 No, come on. Give me that. 722 00:32:12,669 --> 00:32:14,889 -You are a bully. -[laughs] 723 00:32:14,933 --> 00:32:18,403 [In a British accent] Hey. Don't talk about Yoko that way, man. 724 00:32:18,458 --> 00:32:20,575 Because if you do, you're out of the band. 725 00:32:20,586 --> 00:32:22,543 Who are you guys supposed to be? 726 00:32:23,853 --> 00:32:25,676 John Lennon and Yoko Ono. 727 00:32:25,991 --> 00:32:27,949 Oh! I thought she was the girl from The Ring, 728 00:32:28,033 --> 00:32:29,301 and you were Jesus. 729 00:32:29,312 --> 00:32:32,802 Jesus? No. Why would Jesus be wearing a white suit? 730 00:32:32,813 --> 00:32:34,639 I don't know. You tell me. 731 00:32:34,650 --> 00:32:35,651 You're the one who decided to dress up like fancy Jesus. 732 00:32:35,674 --> 00:32:37,596 Oh, my God. Okay. Come here. 733 00:32:37,607 --> 00:32:38,652 -Turn around. -I'm here. 734 00:32:38,695 --> 00:32:39,696 -Turn around. -Okay. 735 00:32:40,523 --> 00:32:41,568 -Okay. -Is it good? 736 00:32:41,611 --> 00:32:42,348 -Way better. -Is it? 737 00:32:42,359 --> 00:32:43,666 Yeah. Now, we need to do something about this hair. 738 00:32:43,677 --> 00:32:44,965 Maybe slick it back? 739 00:32:44,976 --> 00:32:47,247 NICK: It doesn't do that. It doesn't slick back. 740 00:32:47,748 --> 00:32:48,836 Wonder Woman in the hizzy! 741 00:32:48,879 --> 00:32:49,926 NICK: Hi! 742 00:32:50,620 --> 00:32:52,100 I made up a catchphrase, 743 00:32:52,144 --> 00:32:53,637 'cause Wonder Woman doesn't have one. 744 00:32:54,711 --> 00:32:55,875 "Hizzy" means house. 745 00:32:55,886 --> 00:32:56,975 -Yeah. -Yeah. 746 00:32:57,018 --> 00:32:58,372 -Right. Yeah. -Yeah. 747 00:32:58,846 --> 00:33:00,489 Oh, Abby, you look amazing. 748 00:33:00,500 --> 00:33:01,414 Thank you! 749 00:33:02,763 --> 00:33:04,069 Yeah. You look awesome. 750 00:33:05,070 --> 00:33:06,506 I'm gonna go make those frozen pizzas. 751 00:33:07,115 --> 00:33:08,073 NICK: All right. 752 00:33:08,116 --> 00:33:09,291 Yeah, I'll help. 753 00:33:11,163 --> 00:33:12,642 That's a nice costume, for real. 754 00:33:12,686 --> 00:33:15,210 Thank you. What? Cristiano Ronaldo! 755 00:33:15,254 --> 00:33:16,168 Nailed it. 756 00:33:17,299 --> 00:33:18,170 Do you remember when we went to school 757 00:33:18,213 --> 00:33:19,345 dressed as Charlie's Angels? 758 00:33:19,388 --> 00:33:20,792 Oh, my God, yes. 759 00:33:20,803 --> 00:33:22,543 And Nick's balls fell out of his booty shorts 760 00:33:22,554 --> 00:33:25,558 when he, like, dropped down to do the gun pose? 761 00:33:25,612 --> 00:33:27,614 Mm. Do you miss trick-or-treating? 762 00:33:27,657 --> 00:33:28,789 What, you mean instead of, like, 763 00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:29,735 going to loud parties 764 00:33:29,778 --> 00:33:31,415 pretending to like the taste of beer 765 00:33:31,437 --> 00:33:33,149 and feeling too self-conscious to dance? 766 00:33:33,161 --> 00:33:34,740 I don't know why you feel self-conscious. 767 00:33:34,751 --> 00:33:37,058 I mean, you are very clearly 768 00:33:37,102 --> 00:33:38,978 the coolest person at our school. 769 00:33:38,989 --> 00:33:42,398 I'm pretty sure you're the only one who feels that way. 770 00:33:43,389 --> 00:33:44,303 But thank you. 771 00:33:46,682 --> 00:33:49,336 [doorbell ringing] 772 00:33:50,289 --> 00:33:51,203 Who's that? 773 00:33:52,117 --> 00:33:53,241 I invited Martin. 774 00:33:53,252 --> 00:33:54,906 -Martin Addison? -[groans] Why? 775 00:33:54,917 --> 00:33:56,936 Is this a Make-A-Wish situation? 776 00:33:56,947 --> 00:33:58,427 [doorbell continues ringing] 777 00:33:58,471 --> 00:33:59,385 No, he's cool. 778 00:34:01,430 --> 00:34:02,605 Hey. 779 00:34:03,737 --> 00:34:05,043 Oh, looking sharp. 780 00:34:05,054 --> 00:34:06,316 What the... 781 00:34:06,414 --> 00:34:09,006 -MARTIN: Guys. -What are you supposed to be? 782 00:34:09,134 --> 00:34:10,222 Isn't it obvious? 783 00:34:11,266 --> 00:34:13,268 Ah! I'm a Freudian slip. 784 00:34:15,426 --> 00:34:17,443 Abby. Wonder Woman. 785 00:34:21,929 --> 00:34:23,833 NICK: Just pick a song already. 786 00:34:23,844 --> 00:34:25,933 Hey, Nick, uh, can you not rush me? 787 00:34:25,976 --> 00:34:27,678 [laughing] 788 00:34:27,707 --> 00:34:29,100 ABBY: Honestly, I can't choose. There's so many. 789 00:34:29,111 --> 00:34:30,303 That's like Netflix. 790 00:34:30,314 --> 00:34:32,317 You know, trying to pick a film on Netflix. 791 00:34:32,328 --> 00:34:35,244 I'm like... [groans] "Am I in an Apatow mood, 792 00:34:35,255 --> 00:34:37,930 or am I in a Billy Wilder mood?" You know? 793 00:34:37,941 --> 00:34:40,030 Ooh, play Drake. Yes. 794 00:34:40,233 --> 00:34:43,193 Uh, no. Drake is, like, super played out at this point. 795 00:34:44,070 --> 00:34:46,383 You can't play out a rap god. Doesn't happen. Impossible. 796 00:34:46,394 --> 00:34:48,091 First of all, he's not a rap god. 797 00:34:48,177 --> 00:34:50,410 And second of all, I'm looking for some Beyoncé. 798 00:34:50,421 --> 00:34:52,328 -Oh. -I just can't find "Lemonade." 799 00:34:52,339 --> 00:34:53,993 Hey. Here's an interesting question. 800 00:34:54,004 --> 00:34:54,913 I love Beyoncé. 801 00:34:54,924 --> 00:34:56,083 What makes you guys feel nostalgic? 802 00:34:56,094 --> 00:34:56,788 You do? 803 00:34:56,799 --> 00:34:59,655 I mean, I think everybody kinda likes Beyoncé. 804 00:34:59,666 --> 00:35:01,736 Grape soda makes me feel very nostalgic. 805 00:35:01,747 --> 00:35:04,308 -What are you talking about? -What makes you feel nostalgic? 806 00:35:04,319 --> 00:35:05,625 Hey, Abby. 807 00:35:05,636 --> 00:35:08,218 I bet you're gonna have the best costume tonight. 808 00:35:08,323 --> 00:35:10,405 -Thanks. -Nah, you're welcome. 809 00:35:11,152 --> 00:35:12,371 [Martin mocking] 810 00:35:14,112 --> 00:35:15,358 What the hell, Spier? 811 00:35:15,382 --> 00:35:17,819 Hey, why is Nick still flirting with Abby? 812 00:35:17,830 --> 00:35:19,222 SIMON: I don't know, Martin. 813 00:35:19,233 --> 00:35:21,047 Maybe you shouldn't have worn a dress. 814 00:35:21,438 --> 00:35:24,593 You look like a drag queen rolled around in magnetic poetry. 815 00:35:24,824 --> 00:35:26,968 [music playing] 816 00:35:27,125 --> 00:35:28,387 Hey, Abby! 817 00:35:28,691 --> 00:35:30,345 Whenever you need a refill of your drink, 818 00:35:30,389 --> 00:35:32,086 I'll be your designated bartender. 819 00:35:32,130 --> 00:35:33,131 So don't worry. 820 00:35:33,348 --> 00:35:35,394 Okay. Hey, Chloe, come here! 821 00:35:35,655 --> 00:35:37,004 Yo, yo, yo! 822 00:35:37,047 --> 00:35:39,746 Hey. John Lennon? 823 00:35:39,789 --> 00:35:41,356 -Yeah. You got it. -Nice. 824 00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:43,271 And, um, Nick... 825 00:35:43,282 --> 00:35:47,241 -You're Nick. -No. No. I'm Ronaldo. 826 00:35:47,493 --> 00:35:49,321 -Oh. My bad. -Obviously. 827 00:35:49,367 --> 00:35:50,716 Who are you supposed to be? 828 00:35:50,727 --> 00:35:53,643 Oh. Uh... I am post-presidency Barack Obama. 829 00:35:53,654 --> 00:35:56,366 So I'm just chillin' in Hawaii, drinking Mai Tais, 830 00:35:56,377 --> 00:35:57,987 writing memoirs and hoping 831 00:35:57,998 --> 00:36:00,319 Trump doesn't destroy my legacy. 832 00:36:00,330 --> 00:36:02,463 -[both chuckle] -That's awesome. 833 00:36:02,484 --> 00:36:05,089 Thanks. Now let's go to the bar. Come on. 834 00:36:05,100 --> 00:36:06,014 BOTH: Yeah. 835 00:36:06,025 --> 00:36:07,382 Hell yeah. 836 00:36:08,763 --> 00:36:10,374 [rapping] ♪ My name is My sign is ♪ 837 00:36:10,385 --> 00:36:12,213 -No, Garrett, no. - ♪ My number is 838 00:36:12,257 --> 00:36:14,607 ♪ You need to let it go Need to let it go ♪ 839 00:36:14,650 --> 00:36:16,348 ♪ Need to let it go 840 00:36:16,391 --> 00:36:18,727 ♪ Nah to the ah to the no, no, no... ♪ 841 00:36:18,785 --> 00:36:20,090 ♪ Whatchu gonna say? 842 00:36:20,133 --> 00:36:22,169 All right, we should have a little toast. 843 00:36:22,180 --> 00:36:23,360 No, thanks. I'm driving. 844 00:36:23,371 --> 00:36:24,503 And Simon doesn't really drink. 845 00:36:24,514 --> 00:36:26,070 No, I drink. It's cool. I drink. 846 00:36:26,081 --> 00:36:27,256 -All right, that's my man. -NICK: Really? 847 00:36:27,267 --> 00:36:28,485 You wouldn't even have a glass 848 00:36:28,496 --> 00:36:29,735 of Manischewitz at Leah's Seder. 849 00:36:29,746 --> 00:36:32,360 It's Halloween, man. It's a special occasion. 850 00:36:32,371 --> 00:36:33,285 True that. 851 00:36:33,569 --> 00:36:34,914 BOTH: Cheers. 852 00:36:35,932 --> 00:36:36,846 [gagging] 853 00:36:39,241 --> 00:36:40,634 -You okay? -[coughing] 854 00:36:40,645 --> 00:36:44,258 [dance music playing] 855 00:36:44,269 --> 00:36:46,648 You're good at this. You got this. 856 00:36:50,077 --> 00:36:53,733 Abby is the hottest Wonder Woman I have ever seen. 857 00:36:53,973 --> 00:36:54,891 SIMON: Yeah. 858 00:36:54,902 --> 00:36:56,859 The shit that I would let her do to me with that lasso. 859 00:36:56,870 --> 00:36:58,001 Oh, I know, man. 860 00:36:58,012 --> 00:37:00,521 Just, like, tie me up with that thing. 861 00:37:00,532 --> 00:37:02,296 You're not into Abby, are you? 862 00:37:02,307 --> 00:37:03,203 No, no, no. 863 00:37:03,214 --> 00:37:05,211 I mean, it's not like I... She's cute... 864 00:37:05,222 --> 00:37:05,844 Yeah. 865 00:37:05,855 --> 00:37:07,695 ...but she's just not really my type. 866 00:37:09,189 --> 00:37:12,061 Not because she's black. I love black women. 867 00:37:12,424 --> 00:37:14,557 Not like, you know, I have a thing for black women, 868 00:37:14,568 --> 00:37:16,440 I just love all women. 869 00:37:19,149 --> 00:37:20,934 -Oh, oh. Oh! -Oh! 870 00:37:21,195 --> 00:37:24,141 -Oh, hey. -Hey! Oh, hey. 871 00:37:24,926 --> 00:37:27,363 Hey. Mm. 872 00:37:29,416 --> 00:37:31,961 -I'm gonna go ask her out. -What? No. 873 00:37:32,206 --> 00:37:33,437 -No? No? -No. 874 00:37:33,448 --> 00:37:35,755 -You can't ask Abby out. -Why not? 875 00:37:35,766 --> 00:37:39,961 Because. She didn't tell you about Jonathan? 876 00:37:40,274 --> 00:37:41,318 She didn't tell you about that? 877 00:37:41,329 --> 00:37:42,684 -No. -He's older. 878 00:37:42,695 --> 00:37:44,523 -Uh-huh. Uh-huh. -In college. 879 00:37:44,903 --> 00:37:46,339 He's really experienced. 880 00:37:49,223 --> 00:37:50,485 You know I've only had sex once, right? 881 00:37:50,529 --> 00:37:51,403 I know that. 882 00:37:51,414 --> 00:37:53,085 You know, it's like no one tells you 883 00:37:53,096 --> 00:37:54,533 how dark everything is 884 00:37:54,544 --> 00:37:56,068 and how slippery everything gets, and, you know, 885 00:37:56,079 --> 00:37:57,515 the parts you think are the right parts 886 00:37:57,526 --> 00:37:59,498 are actually the wrong parts and... 887 00:38:00,289 --> 00:38:03,396 All right, I'm gonna go eat my feelings away. 888 00:38:03,903 --> 00:38:04,928 Man, I'm sorry... 889 00:38:04,939 --> 00:38:07,085 NICK: No, it's okay. Don't worry about it. 890 00:38:08,851 --> 00:38:09,765 Whoa, whoa. 891 00:38:14,683 --> 00:38:15,858 -BRAM: Hey, Simon! -Hey. 892 00:38:15,902 --> 00:38:17,414 Hey, you wanna play Beirut? 893 00:38:17,425 --> 00:38:18,513 Yeah. Sure. 894 00:38:18,524 --> 00:38:20,417 We just need two more people. 895 00:38:20,428 --> 00:38:22,809 How about you and me, and then, um... 896 00:38:22,879 --> 00:38:24,554 Let me... I insist. 897 00:38:24,690 --> 00:38:26,419 Abby and Martin? 898 00:38:26,826 --> 00:38:28,131 -BRAM: Okay, cool. -SIMON: Hey, Martin. 899 00:38:28,175 --> 00:38:29,470 -MARTIN: Yeah. -SIMON: Abby. 900 00:38:29,481 --> 00:38:30,873 Let's play Beirut. 901 00:38:30,917 --> 00:38:32,571 -No, I don't... -Yeah. Let's do it. 902 00:38:32,614 --> 00:38:34,834 Come on, let's go. It'll be fun. It'll be fun. 903 00:38:34,877 --> 00:38:37,101 Good old competition. [chuckles] 904 00:38:37,183 --> 00:38:38,999 -Ready? -Yeah, I'm ready. 905 00:38:39,775 --> 00:38:41,299 Beirut. Right? 906 00:38:41,341 --> 00:38:42,908 -Yes! -[sighs] 907 00:38:42,919 --> 00:38:44,833 Okay. Have you ever played Beirut before? 908 00:38:44,844 --> 00:38:46,062 Uh, totally. Yeah. 909 00:38:46,590 --> 00:38:49,811 Great. All right, so, two reracks, no blowing 910 00:38:49,822 --> 00:38:51,077 and two balls in the cup means 911 00:38:51,088 --> 00:38:52,509 that you have to take three, okay? 912 00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:53,652 Okay. Cool. 913 00:38:53,895 --> 00:38:55,554 I thought we were talking about a different game. 914 00:38:55,582 --> 00:38:56,714 We'll just explain as we go. Okay? 915 00:38:56,725 --> 00:38:57,639 -Yeah. -Okay. Got it. 916 00:38:57,650 --> 00:38:58,999 SIMON: Ready? 917 00:38:59,010 --> 00:39:01,226 -Maybe you should take these... -Oh. 918 00:39:02,775 --> 00:39:05,670 -You'll see better. Right? -Good idea. Yeah. 919 00:39:06,213 --> 00:39:07,910 -All you. -Raindrop! 920 00:39:07,954 --> 00:39:09,347 MARTIN: Here we go, all right. You got this one. 921 00:39:09,652 --> 00:39:11,967 Oh, is that... This is mine to drink? 922 00:39:13,699 --> 00:39:14,613 God. 923 00:39:15,875 --> 00:39:16,789 Oh! 924 00:39:18,617 --> 00:39:19,618 All right. 925 00:39:19,661 --> 00:39:21,228 ALL: Chug! Chug! Chug! 926 00:39:22,403 --> 00:39:23,709 [imitates explosion] 927 00:39:23,752 --> 00:39:25,352 Do we need a handshake? Is that... 928 00:39:25,363 --> 00:39:26,712 You get one of these in 929 00:39:26,755 --> 00:39:28,389 and we can totally have a handshake. 930 00:39:28,627 --> 00:39:29,845 Fly it away. Fly it away. 931 00:39:31,281 --> 00:39:32,979 Chug, chug, chug. 932 00:39:33,331 --> 00:39:34,593 -MARTIN: Sweet! -All right. 933 00:39:34,676 --> 00:39:35,590 [belches] 934 00:39:36,852 --> 00:39:38,637 ♪ As long as you love me 935 00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:41,770 ♪ We could be starving We could be homeless ♪ 936 00:39:41,814 --> 00:39:43,282 ♪ We could be loved 937 00:39:43,293 --> 00:39:45,162 ♪ As long as you love me 938 00:39:45,252 --> 00:39:47,428 [all cheering] 939 00:39:50,083 --> 00:39:52,520 ♪ Why can't I get Just one screw ♪ 940 00:39:52,564 --> 00:39:55,001 ♪ Baby, I know what to do 941 00:39:55,044 --> 00:39:58,108 ♪ But something won't let me Make love to you ♪ 942 00:39:58,119 --> 00:40:01,354 ♪ Day after day 943 00:40:02,530 --> 00:40:07,230 ♪ I get angry and I will say 944 00:40:12,061 --> 00:40:15,992 Hey, Bram. It's me, Jacques. 945 00:40:18,416 --> 00:40:20,461 Hey, Bram. I'm Jacques. 946 00:40:23,333 --> 00:40:27,163 Hey, Barack. It's me, Jacques. 947 00:40:29,329 --> 00:40:31,244 [sighs] Why did I pick Jacques? 948 00:40:31,746 --> 00:40:33,451 BOY: Yeah, no problem. 949 00:40:33,509 --> 00:40:34,597 [girls laughing] 950 00:40:34,929 --> 00:40:40,109 ["Monster Mash" playing] 951 00:40:48,663 --> 00:40:49,577 Oh. 952 00:40:50,534 --> 00:40:53,336 I'm sorry, I thought this was the bathroom. 953 00:40:54,721 --> 00:40:55,635 Sorry. 954 00:41:02,547 --> 00:41:05,516 -I'm starting to get so tired! -I am so tired. 955 00:41:08,204 --> 00:41:10,032 Hey, Martin, not now, man. All right? 956 00:41:10,076 --> 00:41:11,477 I've had a big night. 957 00:41:13,154 --> 00:41:14,199 Oh! 958 00:41:14,288 --> 00:41:16,769 Really? Really? 959 00:41:17,985 --> 00:41:19,857 [groans] I'm sorry. 960 00:41:19,955 --> 00:41:21,566 -Come on! -[Martin coughing] 961 00:41:24,569 --> 00:41:26,092 -LEAH: What are you doing? -I don't know. 962 00:41:27,441 --> 00:41:28,311 [Leah sighs] 963 00:41:29,095 --> 00:41:30,618 ♪ Willkommen 964 00:41:30,662 --> 00:41:33,186 -Are you serious? -♪ Bienvenue 965 00:41:33,665 --> 00:41:37,190 ♪ Welcome... Whoa. Careful. 966 00:41:37,451 --> 00:41:40,158 Okay, come on. We gotta get you home. 967 00:41:43,152 --> 00:41:45,415 -Look, we're so close! -Oh, my God! 968 00:41:45,459 --> 00:41:46,721 Wait, what? 969 00:41:46,732 --> 00:41:49,229 -Dude, my parents are still up. -Oh, God. 970 00:41:49,245 --> 00:41:51,955 -Oh... -Okay, you know what... Come on. 971 00:41:52,074 --> 00:41:54,141 I need you to think of something really sad... 972 00:41:54,152 --> 00:41:55,458 Uh-huh. 973 00:41:55,469 --> 00:41:56,905 Like, the documentary about how all the whales 974 00:41:56,949 --> 00:41:57,863 hate living at SeaWorld. 975 00:41:57,906 --> 00:41:59,299 Too sad! 976 00:41:59,342 --> 00:42:00,474 God. Okay, then just, you know what, 977 00:42:00,518 --> 00:42:02,160 don't say anything at all... 978 00:42:02,171 --> 00:42:04,183 And we'll ditch the barf shirt till tomorrow. 979 00:42:04,194 --> 00:42:05,108 SIMON: Okay. 980 00:42:05,730 --> 00:42:07,122 -LEAH: Si? -SIMON: Yeah. 981 00:42:07,307 --> 00:42:08,917 LEAH: Just as little as possible, 982 00:42:08,961 --> 00:42:10,783 say as little as possible. 983 00:42:11,093 --> 00:42:14,096 [door creaks] 984 00:42:18,884 --> 00:42:20,450 EMILY: So how does that work? 985 00:42:20,494 --> 00:42:22,278 I know, I remember when I went to... 986 00:42:22,670 --> 00:42:23,715 Hey, guys! 987 00:42:24,535 --> 00:42:26,487 -Hey! -Hey! 988 00:42:26,631 --> 00:42:27,940 -Come talk to us. -Hey! 989 00:42:27,951 --> 00:42:30,058 -How was the party? -It was really fun. 990 00:42:30,069 --> 00:42:31,112 -Was it? -Yeah. 991 00:42:31,461 --> 00:42:32,375 Aces. 992 00:42:33,463 --> 00:42:35,683 BOTH: Huh. [chuckling] 993 00:42:37,032 --> 00:42:39,426 Uh, well. Thanks for letting me stay over. 994 00:42:39,469 --> 00:42:41,236 -JACK: Yeah, yeah, yeah. -EMILY: Yeah. 995 00:42:41,297 --> 00:42:43,502 You've been staying over 10 years. 996 00:42:43,604 --> 00:42:44,779 You don't have to thank us. 997 00:42:44,823 --> 00:42:46,694 Oh. Yeah, thanks. 998 00:42:47,299 --> 00:42:49,010 [whispers] Stop. Shh! 999 00:42:52,548 --> 00:42:54,666 John Lennon was wearing a woman's sweater. 1000 00:42:54,677 --> 00:42:56,157 -Mm. -And he's drunk. 1001 00:42:56,231 --> 00:42:57,868 -Definitely. -So how do we feel about that? 1002 00:42:57,879 --> 00:42:59,620 Well, he didn't drive drunk, 1003 00:42:59,664 --> 00:43:01,900 and he's home before curfew, so... 1004 00:43:01,970 --> 00:43:04,146 Good. That's what I thought we thought. 1005 00:43:04,190 --> 00:43:06,061 Yeah, that's what we think, right? 1006 00:43:06,105 --> 00:43:07,585 Yeah. We're good parents. 1007 00:43:07,628 --> 00:43:09,325 Right? 1008 00:43:09,369 --> 00:43:11,284 [slow music playing] 1009 00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:15,189 The room stopped spinning. 1010 00:43:26,038 --> 00:43:27,678 Do you ever feel weird? 1011 00:43:29,128 --> 00:43:31,217 -Weird? -Yeah. 1012 00:43:34,662 --> 00:43:37,660 Sometimes I feel like I'm always on the outside. 1013 00:43:40,879 --> 00:43:42,285 What do you mean? 1014 00:43:42,445 --> 00:43:44,410 Like tonight, you know... 1015 00:43:44,752 --> 00:43:46,754 I was at that party, and it was fun, but... 1016 00:43:47,403 --> 00:43:49,675 it kinda felt like I was watching it 1017 00:43:49,686 --> 00:43:51,581 from across the room. 1018 00:43:54,022 --> 00:43:55,589 I don't know, there's this invisible line 1019 00:43:55,633 --> 00:43:56,763 that I have to cross 1020 00:43:56,774 --> 00:43:58,098 to really be a part of everything 1021 00:43:58,109 --> 00:44:00,291 and I just, I can't ever cross it. 1022 00:44:02,074 --> 00:44:04,075 I feel that way sometimes, too. 1023 00:44:04,816 --> 00:44:06,110 Not tonight you didn't. 1024 00:44:06,121 --> 00:44:08,013 Yeah, I was trying something. 1025 00:44:09,168 --> 00:44:11,039 Yeah, sometimes I think it'd be so much easier 1026 00:44:11,083 --> 00:44:13,563 to be one of these people who can just take a few shots 1027 00:44:13,607 --> 00:44:15,942 and then hook up with whoever's closest. 1028 00:44:17,524 --> 00:44:19,178 Yeah, I guess I'm just unlucky. 1029 00:44:19,221 --> 00:44:20,135 Unlucky? 1030 00:44:21,814 --> 00:44:22,728 Why? 1031 00:44:24,096 --> 00:44:26,141 Because I'm not a casual person. 1032 00:44:27,708 --> 00:44:29,710 What kind of person are you? 1033 00:44:34,846 --> 00:44:36,064 I think I'm the kind of person 1034 00:44:36,108 --> 00:44:38,110 who is destined to care so much 1035 00:44:38,153 --> 00:44:40,653 about one person, it nearly kills me. 1036 00:44:45,421 --> 00:44:46,335 Me too. 1037 00:44:54,300 --> 00:44:55,806 It's getting late. 1038 00:45:11,447 --> 00:45:12,361 Si? 1039 00:45:13,406 --> 00:45:14,494 Yeah? 1040 00:45:14,537 --> 00:45:15,676 Good night. 1041 00:45:17,453 --> 00:45:18,367 Good night. 1042 00:45:22,067 --> 00:45:25,723 [slow music continues playing] 1043 00:45:40,346 --> 00:45:41,834 SIMON: Dear Blue, 1044 00:45:42,183 --> 00:45:44,420 so one of my friends likes the other, 1045 00:45:44,591 --> 00:45:47,467 and he has no idea. I guess we all have secrets. 1046 00:45:47,831 --> 00:45:49,093 Anyway, I've been thinking about 1047 00:45:49,104 --> 00:45:51,099 why I haven't come out yet. 1048 00:45:52,010 --> 00:45:53,751 Maybe it's because it doesn't seem fair 1049 00:45:53,794 --> 00:45:55,665 that only gay people have to come out. 1050 00:45:55,709 --> 00:45:57,591 Why is straight the default? 1051 00:45:58,040 --> 00:45:59,833 I have something I need to tell you. 1052 00:45:59,844 --> 00:46:02,411 Mom, there's something I have to tell you. 1053 00:46:02,455 --> 00:46:03,369 Can we talk? 1054 00:46:03,412 --> 00:46:04,708 -Yeah. -Mm-hmm. 1055 00:46:04,922 --> 00:46:05,792 I'm straight. 1056 00:46:05,803 --> 00:46:06,891 I'm straight. 1057 00:46:07,014 --> 00:46:08,809 I'm sorry, Mom, it's true. 1058 00:46:08,958 --> 00:46:10,374 I like girls. 1059 00:46:10,419 --> 00:46:11,333 [coughing] 1060 00:46:12,900 --> 00:46:13,819 I like men. 1061 00:46:13,830 --> 00:46:16,153 You get that from your daddy's side. 1062 00:46:16,164 --> 00:46:17,812 I'm in love with Nick. 1063 00:46:19,774 --> 00:46:21,471 I feel like I've been raising a stranger. 1064 00:46:21,482 --> 00:46:23,179 Yes, absolutely, you have. 1065 00:46:23,259 --> 00:46:24,434 I'm heterosexual. 1066 00:46:24,869 --> 00:46:27,819 Oh, God. Help me, Jesus. Please. 1067 00:46:27,830 --> 00:46:29,614 SIMON: Or maybe it's because I can't be sure 1068 00:46:29,625 --> 00:46:31,409 this whole "being gay" thing is forever. 1069 00:46:31,420 --> 00:46:32,987 Or maybe it's that there's not that much 1070 00:46:32,998 --> 00:46:34,140 of high school left 1071 00:46:34,151 --> 00:46:35,773 and part of me wants to hold on to 1072 00:46:35,784 --> 00:46:37,929 who I've always been just a little longer. 1073 00:46:37,940 --> 00:46:40,601 And then, when I go to college in Los Angeles, 1074 00:46:40,623 --> 00:46:42,190 I'll be gay and proud, I promise. 1075 00:46:42,234 --> 00:46:44,812 ["I wanna dance with somebody" playing] 1076 00:46:49,589 --> 00:46:50,937 ♪ Woo! 1077 00:46:53,898 --> 00:46:56,291 ♪ Ooh, yeah, uh-huh 1078 00:46:58,250 --> 00:46:59,164 ♪ Yeah 1079 00:47:01,601 --> 00:47:02,863 ♪ I want to dance 1080 00:47:03,255 --> 00:47:06,040 ♪ Oh! I wanna dance With somebody ♪ 1081 00:47:07,128 --> 00:47:10,088 ♪ I wanna feel the heat With somebody ♪ 1082 00:47:11,002 --> 00:47:14,092 ♪ Yeah! I wanna dance with somebody ♪ 1083 00:47:15,615 --> 00:47:18,400 ♪ With somebody who loves me 1084 00:47:18,444 --> 00:47:20,315 ♪ Don't you wanna dance Say you wanna dance ♪ 1085 00:47:20,359 --> 00:47:22,348 ♪ Don't you wanna dance 1086 00:47:24,102 --> 00:47:27,496 ♪ With somebody who loves me 1087 00:47:27,888 --> 00:47:29,194 ♪ Oh 1088 00:47:31,979 --> 00:47:34,025 ♪ Oh oh 1089 00:47:36,070 --> 00:47:37,463 Yeah, maybe not that gay. 1090 00:47:37,474 --> 00:47:39,440 SIMON: I'm not sure who I'm promising. 1091 00:47:39,465 --> 00:47:41,009 I'll keep ruminating. 1092 00:47:41,020 --> 00:47:42,503 Love, Jacques. 1093 00:47:50,606 --> 00:47:51,912 Shit! 1094 00:47:56,468 --> 00:47:58,209 TAYLOR: So, yeah, after swimming with dolphins, 1095 00:47:58,220 --> 00:48:00,667 we fly to Saint Martin for New Year's. 1096 00:48:01,182 --> 00:48:03,644 Anybody else, Christmas in the Caribbean? 1097 00:48:03,750 --> 00:48:05,056 Staying here. 1098 00:48:05,099 --> 00:48:06,666 We have a classic Spier tradition 1099 00:48:06,709 --> 00:48:08,668 of French toast on Christmas Eve. 1100 00:48:08,711 --> 00:48:10,496 I'm going to an unheated vacation house 1101 00:48:10,539 --> 00:48:11,870 in the middle of nowhere. 1102 00:48:11,932 --> 00:48:14,136 As is our bleak family tradition. 1103 00:48:14,195 --> 00:48:16,806 [winces] Ow! Ow! 1104 00:48:17,982 --> 00:48:18,939 Oh, man. Oh. 1105 00:48:18,983 --> 00:48:19,933 You okay? 1106 00:48:19,944 --> 00:48:21,862 Oh, yeah, that's a paper cut. 1107 00:48:22,160 --> 00:48:23,204 Overdramatic. 1108 00:48:24,380 --> 00:48:27,542 Um, Simon, do you know where the bandages are? 1109 00:48:27,643 --> 00:48:30,190 Yeah. They're just in the supply closet. 1110 00:48:30,201 --> 00:48:32,128 Okay, do you mind showing me? 1111 00:48:34,532 --> 00:48:35,792 Be right back. 1112 00:48:36,783 --> 00:48:38,628 He's like a nurse, this man. 1113 00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:41,788 Okay, I don't actually have a paper cut. 1114 00:48:41,831 --> 00:48:43,746 I know that, Martin. You're a very bad actor. 1115 00:48:43,790 --> 00:48:45,886 What, you think this is funny? 1116 00:48:46,998 --> 00:48:49,480 Simon, look, I don't wanna have to 1117 00:48:49,491 --> 00:48:51,450 leak your emails, all right? But I will. 1118 00:48:51,493 --> 00:48:54,235 Look, you cannot bring Blue into this, okay? 1119 00:48:54,279 --> 00:48:55,758 If he found out that my emails got leaked, 1120 00:48:55,802 --> 00:48:57,369 he'd get totally freaked, all right? 1121 00:48:57,412 --> 00:48:58,587 He'd never talk to me again. 1122 00:48:58,631 --> 00:49:00,230 Yeah, probably not, you know? 1123 00:49:00,241 --> 00:49:01,982 The Internet's a freaky place to meet people. 1124 00:49:02,026 --> 00:49:03,418 -Yo. -Hey! 1125 00:49:03,462 --> 00:49:04,565 Hey! 1126 00:49:04,576 --> 00:49:05,859 Fun movie! Freak. 1127 00:49:05,870 --> 00:49:08,543 -That's a fun movie! -Freaky, freak, freaky. 1128 00:49:08,554 --> 00:49:10,469 -Yeah, freaky-deaky Dutch! -♪ She's a super freak 1129 00:49:10,512 --> 00:49:12,460 -BOTH: ♪ Super freak -You guys are weird. 1130 00:49:12,471 --> 00:49:15,558 I need a Band-Aid. Those programs are a bitch. 1131 00:49:17,041 --> 00:49:19,478 Erm, yo. Martin was having trouble running his lines 1132 00:49:19,521 --> 00:49:20,827 and we were thinking we could go 1133 00:49:20,870 --> 00:49:23,264 to Waffle House and go over 'em. 1134 00:49:24,439 --> 00:49:25,440 -Really? -Yeah. 1135 00:49:25,484 --> 00:49:27,040 That would be great. 1136 00:49:27,051 --> 00:49:28,139 I'm insky. 1137 00:49:30,402 --> 00:49:32,976 -Good work, Spier. -Go to hell, Martin. 1138 00:49:37,844 --> 00:49:39,348 [cell phone chimes] 1139 00:49:42,022 --> 00:49:44,068 BLUE: Jacques, if I were a betting man, 1140 00:49:44,111 --> 00:49:45,504 I'd say you were drunk emailing me 1141 00:49:45,547 --> 00:49:46,679 during that last letter. 1142 00:49:46,722 --> 00:49:48,376 Don't worry. I liked it. 1143 00:49:48,753 --> 00:49:50,537 As for coming out, I know what you mean 1144 00:49:50,548 --> 00:49:51,984 about wanting to wait till college. 1145 00:49:51,995 --> 00:49:54,161 But our emails have inspired me. 1146 00:49:54,172 --> 00:49:57,270 I'm going to tell my family. So thanks, Jacques. 1147 00:49:57,281 --> 00:49:59,169 Love, Blue. 1148 00:50:12,270 --> 00:50:13,836 [indistinct chatter] 1149 00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:14,794 Yeah. 1150 00:50:17,216 --> 00:50:18,598 MARTIN: Hey! 1151 00:50:18,711 --> 00:50:21,018 -Madame. -ABBY: Oh. 1152 00:50:23,537 --> 00:50:25,663 [chuckles] Simon... 1153 00:50:25,674 --> 00:50:27,459 How the thespians rehearse, right? 1154 00:50:27,502 --> 00:50:28,806 LYLE: Hey, guys. 1155 00:50:29,243 --> 00:50:30,592 What can I get you? 1156 00:50:30,843 --> 00:50:33,323 Lyle! You guys know Lyle? We have Latin together. 1157 00:50:33,334 --> 00:50:34,837 ABBY: I don't think so. 1158 00:50:34,857 --> 00:50:36,165 Hi. How's it going? 1159 00:50:36,176 --> 00:50:38,782 Actually, we had Bio together last year? 1160 00:50:38,818 --> 00:50:40,220 -SIMON: Oh, really? -It's Simon, right? 1161 00:50:40,441 --> 00:50:43,333 Yeah. Yeah, sorry, I don't, um... 1162 00:50:43,344 --> 00:50:45,129 It's okay. It was like a big class, 1163 00:50:45,172 --> 00:50:47,188 and I have a good memory for faces. 1164 00:50:48,001 --> 00:50:49,698 What can I get you guys? 1165 00:50:49,742 --> 00:50:51,727 MARTIN: Well, we plan on being here for a while. 1166 00:50:51,744 --> 00:50:54,399 So, we're gonna start off small and go larger. 1167 00:50:55,052 --> 00:50:58,509 Probably get some bacon first, some sausage. I'd say... 1168 00:50:59,143 --> 00:51:02,309 ABBY: "You're right. I'm much too strange and extraordinary. 1169 00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:04,743 Much! And much too distracting!" 1170 00:51:05,236 --> 00:51:06,150 Wow. 1171 00:51:06,939 --> 00:51:09,172 And you never did any acting at your old school? 1172 00:51:09,849 --> 00:51:11,851 No. Can we get back to... 1173 00:51:11,894 --> 00:51:13,505 And yet, you're from D.C., right? 1174 00:51:13,548 --> 00:51:14,984 Yeah. Can you give me my next cue, though? 1175 00:51:15,028 --> 00:51:17,227 MARTIN: So why did you move here? 1176 00:51:17,596 --> 00:51:19,337 Because my parents got divorced 1177 00:51:19,380 --> 00:51:21,339 and my aunt found us an apartment in her building. 1178 00:51:21,382 --> 00:51:22,807 Why'd they get divorced? 1179 00:51:22,818 --> 00:51:23,837 Why does it matter, Martin? 1180 00:51:23,848 --> 00:51:24,979 Are you writing a book about girls 1181 00:51:24,990 --> 00:51:26,780 from a broken home in D.C.? 1182 00:51:28,041 --> 00:51:28,955 So? 1183 00:51:30,155 --> 00:51:32,081 I thought that my dad 1184 00:51:32,092 --> 00:51:35,001 was the greatest person on the planet. 1185 00:51:36,571 --> 00:51:40,358 But it turns out that he's just a sad, tired loser 1186 00:51:40,401 --> 00:51:43,012 who hates his job, drinks way too much beer, 1187 00:51:43,056 --> 00:51:44,492 and cheats on his wife. 1188 00:51:44,635 --> 00:51:47,243 To make up for all the stuff that I just mentioned, so... 1189 00:51:47,406 --> 00:51:49,118 Well, I'm sorry to hear that. 1190 00:51:49,347 --> 00:51:50,211 Yeah. 1191 00:51:50,222 --> 00:51:53,034 You deserve the father that you thought you had. 1192 00:51:55,089 --> 00:51:56,768 You know what, Abby? 1193 00:51:58,419 --> 00:52:00,762 You deserve a goddamn superhero. 1194 00:52:01,118 --> 00:52:03,771 Okay, thank you. Let's get back to the... 1195 00:52:03,782 --> 00:52:04,696 Say it. 1196 00:52:06,079 --> 00:52:06,993 What? 1197 00:52:07,689 --> 00:52:09,278 I wanna hear you say 1198 00:52:09,430 --> 00:52:13,086 "I, Abby Susso, am an incredible young woman 1199 00:52:13,869 --> 00:52:16,524 and deserve a goddamn superhero." 1200 00:52:16,916 --> 00:52:19,278 I'm not gonna say that, Martin. 1201 00:52:19,745 --> 00:52:21,181 Okay. Well, um... 1202 00:52:21,877 --> 00:52:23,825 I won't stop until you say it. 1203 00:52:24,271 --> 00:52:25,185 ABBY: Okay. 1204 00:52:26,157 --> 00:52:28,221 -What are you... -Excuse me. 1205 00:52:28,232 --> 00:52:30,103 -Waffle House patrons! -ABBY: Martin. Martin, stop. 1206 00:52:30,147 --> 00:52:31,670 -Pardon the interruption. -BOTH: Martin. 1207 00:52:31,713 --> 00:52:34,140 I would just like to say that Abby Susso here 1208 00:52:34,151 --> 00:52:35,413 is an incredible young woman. 1209 00:52:35,456 --> 00:52:36,481 Martin, please. 1210 00:52:36,492 --> 00:52:38,450 And deserves a goddamn superhero. 1211 00:52:38,461 --> 00:52:40,052 -Okay, okay... -That's right. Abby Susso! 1212 00:52:40,063 --> 00:52:41,824 Abby Susso is an incredible young woman! 1213 00:52:41,835 --> 00:52:43,243 ABBY: I'm Abby Susso! 1214 00:52:43,253 --> 00:52:44,898 Incredible young woman... 1215 00:52:44,909 --> 00:52:47,516 Incredible young woman, and deserves... 1216 00:52:47,562 --> 00:52:49,216 A goddamn superhero. 1217 00:52:49,253 --> 00:52:51,200 -A goddamn superhero! -A goddamn superhero! 1218 00:52:51,211 --> 00:52:52,868 A goddamn superhero! 1219 00:52:59,219 --> 00:53:00,516 Yeah. 1220 00:53:01,003 --> 00:53:02,179 All right. [claps] 1221 00:53:03,092 --> 00:53:04,616 Breakthrough. Yeah. 1222 00:53:05,617 --> 00:53:08,054 Okay, you can all go back to your meals. Thank you. 1223 00:53:08,097 --> 00:53:09,621 Please sit down. Please. 1224 00:53:10,844 --> 00:53:12,846 -[Martin clears throat] -[Abby sighs] 1225 00:53:13,277 --> 00:53:14,376 Well... 1226 00:53:14,843 --> 00:53:18,048 Well, let's get back to... 1227 00:53:18,175 --> 00:53:21,180 -my entrance into your song. -I'm gonna take five. 1228 00:53:21,241 --> 00:53:23,330 MARTIN: "Ah, the Kit Kat Klub proudly presents... 1229 00:53:23,374 --> 00:53:24,723 I'll be right back. 1230 00:53:24,734 --> 00:53:26,366 ...a beautiful woman coming straight from England." 1231 00:53:26,377 --> 00:53:27,943 Sally Bowles, everybody." 1232 00:53:39,165 --> 00:53:40,306 Hey. 1233 00:53:41,870 --> 00:53:45,202 Were you in Bio when they did that identifying leaves test? 1234 00:53:45,222 --> 00:53:47,615 Yes. And Joel Winslow ate that poison ivy. 1235 00:53:47,626 --> 00:53:49,699 Because Doug Fogerty told him it was pot. 1236 00:53:49,710 --> 00:53:51,671 -Right. [laughs] -SIMON: Poor Joel. 1237 00:53:51,682 --> 00:53:54,475 I think he just wants to be liked 'cause... 1238 00:53:54,579 --> 00:53:57,408 you ever notice that he has extra pens in his backpack? 1239 00:53:57,451 --> 00:54:00,367 Like, you know, he's just waiting for the day 1240 00:54:00,411 --> 00:54:02,897 that someone comes up to ask him for a pen? 1241 00:54:02,978 --> 00:54:06,483 And then he can be that guy to give 'em a pen. 1242 00:54:07,225 --> 00:54:09,124 You see everything, don't you, Simon? 1243 00:54:09,202 --> 00:54:10,290 I don't know. 1244 00:54:11,335 --> 00:54:13,075 But Simon means "the one who hears" 1245 00:54:13,119 --> 00:54:15,252 and Spier means "the one who sees" 1246 00:54:15,295 --> 00:54:17,515 so you put that all together 1247 00:54:17,558 --> 00:54:20,561 and pretty sure that means I was just destined 1248 00:54:20,605 --> 00:54:22,522 to be up in everybody's business. 1249 00:54:24,826 --> 00:54:26,219 I've gotta get back inside 1250 00:54:26,263 --> 00:54:28,061 and scrub down some waffle irons. 1251 00:54:28,090 --> 00:54:30,005 -Duty calls. -Indeed. 1252 00:54:31,137 --> 00:54:32,585 I'll see you in there. 1253 00:54:32,807 --> 00:54:34,318 Yeah, I'll see ya. 1254 00:54:40,842 --> 00:54:42,530 [cell phone chimes] 1255 00:54:49,808 --> 00:54:50,765 Hi. 1256 00:54:51,582 --> 00:54:54,628 BLUE: So my dad's flying in tonight for Hanukkah. 1257 00:54:54,639 --> 00:54:56,346 If you are thinking, 1258 00:54:56,380 --> 00:54:57,381 "But Hanukkah isn't for another month!" 1259 00:54:57,424 --> 00:54:58,817 Well, you are correct. 1260 00:54:58,828 --> 00:55:01,174 Welcome to navigating divorced parents. 1261 00:55:01,618 --> 00:55:03,663 Take holidays where you can get them. 1262 00:55:03,674 --> 00:55:06,495 And my dad's staying at the same crappy motel as always. 1263 00:55:06,520 --> 00:55:09,440 We'll do all our horribly awkward traditions. 1264 00:55:09,654 --> 00:55:12,134 We'll light the menorah and I'll silently pray 1265 00:55:12,178 --> 00:55:14,125 that the sprinklers don't go off. 1266 00:55:14,136 --> 00:55:16,252 That's happened twice before. 1267 00:55:17,330 --> 00:55:19,680 Would you believe I'm considering doubling down 1268 00:55:19,691 --> 00:55:21,002 and turning this whole awkward mess 1269 00:55:21,013 --> 00:55:22,698 into a coming out thing? 1270 00:55:23,693 --> 00:55:25,432 Do you think I'm crazy? 1271 00:55:26,012 --> 00:55:28,081 SIMON: No, Blue, I don't think you're crazy. 1272 00:55:28,107 --> 00:55:29,978 I think you're crazy brave. 1273 00:55:44,471 --> 00:55:47,126 ABBY: Honestly, Martin used to annoy the crap out of me. 1274 00:55:47,169 --> 00:55:49,584 But he's actually kind of a cool person. 1275 00:55:51,739 --> 00:55:54,318 I've been meaning to ask you about your parents. 1276 00:55:54,351 --> 00:55:55,693 I just didn't wanna say anything 1277 00:55:55,704 --> 00:55:56,722 when we were actually in the restaurant. 1278 00:55:56,733 --> 00:55:59,214 I wasn't sure if you wanted to talk about it. 1279 00:55:59,225 --> 00:56:01,358 Yeah. No, I don't mention it a lot 1280 00:56:01,369 --> 00:56:04,021 because it kind of messes with my image. 1281 00:56:04,926 --> 00:56:06,731 What kind of image? 1282 00:56:08,016 --> 00:56:10,279 The girl who is excited 1283 00:56:10,323 --> 00:56:12,537 to start a new school senior year. 1284 00:56:12,934 --> 00:56:15,372 Girl whose life didn't just end, 1285 00:56:15,415 --> 00:56:16,808 like, three months ago, 1286 00:56:16,851 --> 00:56:18,897 who's angry and sad all the time. 1287 00:56:21,595 --> 00:56:23,576 Girl who still believes in love. 1288 00:56:24,076 --> 00:56:26,927 Come on. You still believe in love. 1289 00:56:27,949 --> 00:56:29,138 Maybe. 1290 00:56:29,560 --> 00:56:31,420 Have you ever been in love? 1291 00:56:34,613 --> 00:56:36,256 I think so. 1292 00:56:50,494 --> 00:56:51,408 Abby. 1293 00:56:52,583 --> 00:56:53,497 Yeah? 1294 00:56:56,978 --> 00:56:58,326 I'm gay. 1295 00:56:59,807 --> 00:57:01,208 Oh. 1296 00:57:03,681 --> 00:57:05,733 You can't tell anyone though. 1297 00:57:06,075 --> 00:57:07,642 Nobody really knows, 1298 00:57:07,653 --> 00:57:09,327 and I don't really want people to find out. 1299 00:57:09,338 --> 00:57:10,995 I won't. I promise. 1300 00:57:11,135 --> 00:57:12,667 Okay. 1301 00:57:17,477 --> 00:57:19,058 You surprised? 1302 00:57:19,914 --> 00:57:21,105 No. 1303 00:57:22,264 --> 00:57:23,831 -So you knew? -No. 1304 00:57:25,442 --> 00:57:27,370 But you're not surprised? 1305 00:57:27,792 --> 00:57:29,878 Do you want me to be surprised? 1306 00:57:30,751 --> 00:57:31,894 I don't know. 1307 00:57:33,058 --> 00:57:33,972 Okay. 1308 00:57:34,929 --> 00:57:36,312 Well, I love you. 1309 00:57:37,325 --> 00:57:38,239 So... 1310 00:57:47,725 --> 00:57:49,583 Love you, too. 1311 00:57:55,559 --> 00:57:56,864 [sighs in relief] 1312 00:57:57,135 --> 00:57:59,151 -[turn signal beeping] 1313 00:57:59,362 --> 00:58:00,742 -There's no one behind us. 1314 00:58:00,753 --> 00:58:01,885 You don't have to put your blinker on. 1315 00:58:01,896 --> 00:58:03,987 -Okay, just being safe. -Yeah. 1316 00:58:17,102 --> 00:58:20,213 SIMON: Dear Blue, I hope it goes okay with your dad. 1317 00:58:20,224 --> 00:58:22,618 Whatever happens, you inspired me. 1318 00:58:23,151 --> 00:58:24,979 I came out to my friend tonight. 1319 00:58:25,023 --> 00:58:27,025 And I never would have done that without you. 1320 00:58:27,068 --> 00:58:29,027 Maybe we should ride this bravery train 1321 00:58:29,070 --> 00:58:30,830 and reveal our identities. 1322 00:58:30,841 --> 00:58:33,971 I'm dying to know who you are. Love, Jacques. 1323 00:58:40,038 --> 00:58:41,916 [cell phone vibrating] 1324 00:58:44,126 --> 00:58:46,128 BLUE: I told my dad. 1325 00:58:47,080 --> 00:58:50,632 It was insanely awkward. But also, kind of fine. 1326 00:58:51,876 --> 00:58:53,741 And you got it backwards. 1327 00:58:54,008 --> 00:58:55,619 It's you who inspires me. 1328 00:58:57,621 --> 00:58:59,057 But I'm sorry, 1329 00:58:59,333 --> 00:59:02,131 I'm just not ready for us to know each other's identities. 1330 00:59:02,190 --> 00:59:03,409 Love, Blue. 1331 00:59:05,803 --> 00:59:07,935 [hums the Jaws theme] 1332 00:59:07,979 --> 00:59:10,764 -Hey! What are you doing? -[growls] I'm a fry shark! 1333 00:59:10,808 --> 00:59:12,244 -Yeah! -[laughs] 1334 00:59:14,507 --> 00:59:16,596 -MARTIN: That is good. -ABBY: You're a good fry shark. 1335 00:59:16,640 --> 00:59:17,896 -MARTIN: Thank you, thank you. -ABBY: I like that. 1336 00:59:17,907 --> 00:59:18,881 I didn't even know you were coming near. 1337 00:59:18,892 --> 00:59:20,146 MARTIN: You know what day it is? 1338 00:59:20,157 --> 00:59:22,178 -ABBY: What day is it? -MARTIN: Must be Friday! 1339 00:59:22,189 --> 00:59:23,190 BOTH: Oh! 1340 00:59:23,201 --> 00:59:24,681 I guess I'm being loved, right? Right? 1341 00:59:24,692 --> 00:59:25,545 Yeah. 1342 00:59:25,556 --> 00:59:28,379 Hey, what do you get when you get black and Jewish? 1343 00:59:28,390 --> 00:59:29,685 -What? -Bluish. 1344 00:59:29,696 --> 00:59:30,610 ABBY: That's mean. 1345 00:59:30,672 --> 00:59:32,064 Simon? 1346 00:59:32,075 --> 00:59:34,959 Since when does Abby find Martin so goddamn funny? 1347 00:59:35,528 --> 00:59:36,725 Yeah, it's crazy. 1348 00:59:36,736 --> 00:59:38,576 NICK: You know, this is stupid. 1349 00:59:38,592 --> 00:59:40,000 I'm just gonna tell her that I like her. 1350 00:59:40,011 --> 00:59:41,146 And I've been thinking 1351 00:59:41,157 --> 00:59:42,287 the whole sexual experience thing, 1352 00:59:42,313 --> 00:59:43,630 it's not that big of a deal. 1353 00:59:43,641 --> 00:59:44,889 And, actually, I've been practicing, right? 1354 00:59:44,900 --> 00:59:45,857 I got this thing online. 1355 00:59:45,868 --> 00:59:47,137 It's really cool. It's called a pocket puss... 1356 00:59:47,148 --> 00:59:48,018 Abby likes Martin. 1357 00:59:49,237 --> 00:59:50,750 She told me herself. 1358 00:59:50,761 --> 00:59:53,139 -[scoffs] But he's Martin. -I know. 1359 00:59:54,624 --> 00:59:55,929 NICK: Look, I don't care. 1360 00:59:55,940 --> 00:59:56,941 -I'm gonna try. -Hey, wait, wait. 1361 00:59:56,984 --> 00:59:58,201 What about Leah? 1362 00:59:58,986 --> 01:00:00,240 What about Leah? 1363 01:00:00,901 --> 01:00:01,982 SIMON: Dude. 1364 01:00:04,002 --> 01:00:06,548 -Leah's in love with you. -No, she's not. 1365 01:00:06,559 --> 01:00:07,908 Are you kidding me? 1366 01:00:07,952 --> 01:00:09,910 I mean, come on. The way she looks at you 1367 01:00:09,954 --> 01:00:11,869 and how she's been all jealous ever since Abby's been around? 1368 01:00:11,912 --> 01:00:15,225 And she blushes every time you come into the room. 1369 01:00:16,177 --> 01:00:17,701 Look, you and Abby... 1370 01:00:18,702 --> 01:00:20,431 it's never gonna happen. 1371 01:00:20,442 --> 01:00:21,792 But you and Leah... 1372 01:00:22,381 --> 01:00:24,819 I mean, you could be incredible together. 1373 01:00:35,173 --> 01:00:37,005 -LEAH: Hey. -What's up? 1374 01:00:38,343 --> 01:00:40,435 So I have something to tell you. 1375 01:00:42,073 --> 01:00:43,750 Nick just asked me to get dinner 1376 01:00:43,761 --> 01:00:45,498 before the homecoming game. 1377 01:00:46,077 --> 01:00:46,991 Okay. 1378 01:00:47,774 --> 01:00:50,107 No, like, Si, he was like... 1379 01:00:50,298 --> 01:00:51,680 He came up to me and he's like, 1380 01:00:51,691 --> 01:00:52,942 "Do you wanna go get dinner?" 1381 01:00:52,953 --> 01:00:54,596 All right, and I was like, 1382 01:00:54,607 --> 01:00:56,498 "Sure, are Abby and Simon in?" And he was like 1383 01:00:56,509 --> 01:00:59,980 "I was thinking it could just be the two of us. Like, a date." 1384 01:01:00,047 --> 01:01:01,612 That's amazing. 1385 01:01:02,354 --> 01:01:03,268 It is? 1386 01:01:04,835 --> 01:01:05,749 Yeah. 1387 01:01:06,750 --> 01:01:07,881 Leah, come on. 1388 01:01:11,189 --> 01:01:12,451 I know you're into him. 1389 01:01:12,494 --> 01:01:13,635 [scoffs] What? 1390 01:01:13,881 --> 01:01:15,486 All that stuff that you were talking 1391 01:01:15,497 --> 01:01:16,847 about the night after Bram's party, 1392 01:01:16,890 --> 01:01:19,632 about, you know, being so into one person 1393 01:01:19,676 --> 01:01:21,385 that it almost kills you. 1394 01:01:22,679 --> 01:01:24,714 You were talking about Nick. 1395 01:01:26,319 --> 01:01:27,233 Uh... 1396 01:01:28,221 --> 01:01:30,682 So you think I should go out with him? 1397 01:01:31,024 --> 01:01:32,987 Yes. Yes. 1398 01:01:35,082 --> 01:01:36,417 Okay. 1399 01:01:37,563 --> 01:01:38,776 -SIMON: Yeah? -LEAH: Yeah! 1400 01:01:38,787 --> 01:01:40,337 SIMON: I promise you, you're not gonna regret it. 1401 01:01:40,348 --> 01:01:41,940 It's gonna be great! 1402 01:01:41,951 --> 01:01:43,431 [all cheering] 1403 01:01:44,918 --> 01:01:47,704 Let's pull out your claws, Grizzlies! 1404 01:01:48,123 --> 01:01:51,760 Oh! [laughs] 1405 01:01:55,850 --> 01:01:59,604 Simon, that Almont QB is insanely hot. 1406 01:01:59,870 --> 01:02:01,698 We can talk about stuff like this now, you know. 1407 01:02:01,709 --> 01:02:03,319 Yeah, I still don't know 1408 01:02:03,341 --> 01:02:05,362 if I really quite figured out how. 1409 01:02:06,486 --> 01:02:08,663 -Seriously? -Yeah. 1410 01:02:08,674 --> 01:02:11,550 We gotta practice. All right. Simon. 1411 01:02:11,561 --> 01:02:12,995 -Yeah? -Do you think 1412 01:02:13,006 --> 01:02:17,053 that quarterback is lookin' fine in those hot pants? 1413 01:02:19,474 --> 01:02:21,535 He's lookin' pretty fine. 1414 01:02:22,826 --> 01:02:25,045 No. No. No. 1415 01:02:25,426 --> 01:02:27,863 Fine! Good. Put your body into it. 1416 01:02:29,441 --> 01:02:30,831 Fine! [grunts] 1417 01:02:31,269 --> 01:02:32,444 That was really good. 1418 01:02:32,455 --> 01:02:34,130 -That was so good. -Thanks. 1419 01:02:34,141 --> 01:02:35,621 Hey, check it out. It's the Waffle House guy. 1420 01:02:37,666 --> 01:02:39,074 SIMON: Oh, yeah. 1421 01:02:39,538 --> 01:02:40,452 Whoa. 1422 01:02:41,758 --> 01:02:43,816 -Lyle? -I don't know. Could be. 1423 01:02:43,827 --> 01:02:46,055 -I don't know. -Do you think he's... 1424 01:02:46,066 --> 01:02:47,277 I don't know. 1425 01:02:48,286 --> 01:02:49,504 Okay, well, you should talk to him. 1426 01:02:49,548 --> 01:02:50,592 I'm gonna go get a coffee. 1427 01:02:50,636 --> 01:02:52,433 Look, you are fine! 1428 01:02:52,507 --> 01:02:53,552 [mouthing] You got this. 1429 01:02:54,379 --> 01:02:55,293 Hi. 1430 01:02:56,947 --> 01:02:59,732 Hey. If it isn't my favorite waiter. 1431 01:02:59,776 --> 01:03:02,604 Ah, there he is. The guy who sees everything. 1432 01:03:02,866 --> 01:03:04,258 -Yeah. -[chuckles] 1433 01:03:04,269 --> 01:03:06,249 Hey, I wouldn't have taken you for a homecoming guy. 1434 01:03:06,260 --> 01:03:07,990 Oh, just here for the coffee. 1435 01:03:08,001 --> 01:03:10,221 Of course. Yeah, it's all about the cappuccinos 1436 01:03:10,264 --> 01:03:12,277 and camaraderie for this guy. 1437 01:03:12,800 --> 01:03:15,527 -[clears throat] -[laughs] 1438 01:03:17,787 --> 01:03:19,527 I'm glad you're here. 1439 01:03:19,953 --> 01:03:20,867 You are? 1440 01:03:21,710 --> 01:03:22,624 Yeah. 1441 01:03:23,584 --> 01:03:26,347 'Cause I wanted to ask you something. 1442 01:03:27,064 --> 01:03:28,587 I was gonna ask you the other day 1443 01:03:28,630 --> 01:03:31,097 and then I was, like, too chickenshit. 1444 01:03:32,955 --> 01:03:34,901 What's Abby's deal? 1445 01:03:36,464 --> 01:03:38,187 I know you and her hang out a lot. 1446 01:03:38,198 --> 01:03:40,550 Are the two of you like a thing, or... 1447 01:03:40,655 --> 01:03:41,569 No. 1448 01:03:42,296 --> 01:03:44,211 No, uh, we're just friends. 1449 01:03:44,603 --> 01:03:46,083 I could never be just friends with someone that hot. 1450 01:03:46,126 --> 01:03:47,171 Yeah! 1451 01:03:47,214 --> 01:03:48,960 Every day is a struggle. 1452 01:03:50,261 --> 01:03:52,741 [sighs] I gotta go. I'll see ya. 1453 01:03:56,631 --> 01:03:58,647 MASCOT: Hey! You! 1454 01:03:59,394 --> 01:04:01,914 Little birdie told me you're into bears! 1455 01:04:01,925 --> 01:04:03,143 [growls] 1456 01:04:03,505 --> 01:04:04,976 [mascot laughs] 1457 01:04:05,189 --> 01:04:06,451 Dude! It's me! 1458 01:04:06,973 --> 01:04:07,844 [grunts] 1459 01:04:08,540 --> 01:04:10,374 I'm the Creekwood bear. 1460 01:04:10,977 --> 01:04:12,022 Of course, you are. 1461 01:04:12,213 --> 01:04:13,241 Thank you. 1462 01:04:13,501 --> 01:04:15,025 Not a compliment. 1463 01:04:15,068 --> 01:04:16,765 Hey, um... I figured out my next move with Abby. 1464 01:04:17,157 --> 01:04:19,406 Great, that's good for you, Martin. 1465 01:04:19,464 --> 01:04:21,509 I just wanted to run it by you real quick. 1466 01:04:21,553 --> 01:04:22,989 No, Martin, look. 1467 01:04:23,450 --> 01:04:24,937 I've been helping you for weeks 1468 01:04:24,948 --> 01:04:26,210 and I am sick and tired of helping you 1469 01:04:26,253 --> 01:04:27,531 mess with my friends' lives. 1470 01:04:27,542 --> 01:04:28,717 So why don't you just do that shit 1471 01:04:28,748 --> 01:04:30,159 that you did at Waffle House? 1472 01:04:30,170 --> 01:04:31,616 That went great. 1473 01:04:31,663 --> 01:04:33,467 So you're saying I should go for it? 1474 01:04:33,478 --> 01:04:34,871 It's kind of a big gesture. 1475 01:04:34,882 --> 01:04:37,077 Go big or go home! Right, Martin? 1476 01:04:37,743 --> 01:04:39,092 Go big or go home. 1477 01:04:39,103 --> 01:04:41,624 I like that. Thanks for the pep talk, man! 1478 01:04:42,179 --> 01:04:43,787 Gotta get amped up. 1479 01:04:44,024 --> 01:04:45,765 [grunts] Come on! 1480 01:04:46,273 --> 01:04:47,753 [cheerleaders whooping] 1481 01:04:47,796 --> 01:04:48,972 [marching band playing "Bad Romance"] 1482 01:04:49,015 --> 01:04:50,930 [players yelling] 1483 01:04:52,243 --> 01:04:53,984 MR. WORTH: We're gonna take ya! 1484 01:04:54,325 --> 01:04:55,979 [singing to "Bad Romance"] ♪ Claw, claw, claw, claw, claw 1485 01:04:56,022 --> 01:04:58,413 ♪ Claw, claw, claw, Claw, claw ♪ 1486 01:05:02,314 --> 01:05:03,566 AARON: Ethan! 1487 01:05:04,046 --> 01:05:06,108 I didn't know you like football. 1488 01:05:06,119 --> 01:05:07,904 He's just here to check out the packages. 1489 01:05:07,947 --> 01:05:09,427 Didn't your mother ever tell you 1490 01:05:09,470 --> 01:05:11,794 not to grab your micropenis in public? 1491 01:05:11,864 --> 01:05:14,214 Could we get some hummus for that baby carrot? 1492 01:05:14,258 --> 01:05:15,786 -[laughs] -Shut up, man. 1493 01:05:20,351 --> 01:05:22,826 -SIMON: Hey, guys. -What's up? Hey. 1494 01:05:25,622 --> 01:05:27,943 -How was dinner? -It was good. 1495 01:05:28,359 --> 01:05:30,578 Yeah, uh, we got soup dumplings. 1496 01:05:31,318 --> 01:05:33,802 That dumpling place I told you about? 1497 01:05:33,877 --> 01:05:34,919 Yeah. 1498 01:05:35,019 --> 01:05:37,888 You know, maybe you could go with Martin. 1499 01:05:38,935 --> 01:05:40,966 Why would I go with Martin? 1500 01:05:41,314 --> 01:05:44,591 ANNOUNCER: Please stand for the national anthem. 1501 01:05:48,205 --> 01:05:50,615 This goes out to all the refugees. 1502 01:05:51,034 --> 01:05:53,435 And my vocal coach, Monica Lewis. 1503 01:05:53,688 --> 01:05:54,559 MAN: Yeah! 1504 01:05:55,469 --> 01:06:00,561 ♪ O say can you see 1505 01:06:01,174 --> 01:06:06,527 ♪ By the dawn's early light 1506 01:06:07,050 --> 01:06:08,834 ♪ What so proud... 1507 01:06:08,963 --> 01:06:10,964 What the hell are you doing? 1508 01:06:12,819 --> 01:06:13,907 Sorry. Hi. 1509 01:06:13,926 --> 01:06:15,884 Hi, everyone. Uh, sorry to interrupt. 1510 01:06:15,928 --> 01:06:17,582 Why are we interrupting the national anthem? 1511 01:06:17,593 --> 01:06:19,542 MARTIN: But I have something to say... 1512 01:06:19,716 --> 01:06:22,386 that's a little more important than the national anthem. 1513 01:06:22,891 --> 01:06:24,714 No offense, America. 1514 01:06:26,330 --> 01:06:29,289 Abigail Katherine Susso... 1515 01:06:29,942 --> 01:06:32,511 when you transferred to Creekwood High School, 1516 01:06:32,597 --> 01:06:35,066 just a short three and a half months ago, 1517 01:06:35,954 --> 01:06:38,573 you not only transferred into a new school, 1518 01:06:38,646 --> 01:06:41,432 you transferred your way into a new heart 1519 01:06:42,183 --> 01:06:44,948 belonging to me. My heart. Right here. 1520 01:06:45,501 --> 01:06:48,566 And whether it was being your partner in pong, 1521 01:06:49,048 --> 01:06:51,167 or your Waffle House warrior, 1522 01:06:51,659 --> 01:06:52,921 I have cherished... 1523 01:06:53,311 --> 01:06:58,316 the 135,300 minutes that we've spent together. 1524 01:06:59,102 --> 01:07:00,103 Oh, I'm sorry. 1525 01:07:00,842 --> 01:07:04,855 135,301 minutes. 1526 01:07:05,378 --> 01:07:08,745 And I know that you're this smart, talented 1527 01:07:09,242 --> 01:07:10,504 perfect creature. 1528 01:07:11,984 --> 01:07:16,815 And, uh, I'm just a sweaty schlub in a bear costume. 1529 01:07:17,559 --> 01:07:19,762 But like old Bogie used to say, 1530 01:07:20,251 --> 01:07:22,169 it's a "crazy mixed-up world." 1531 01:07:23,126 --> 01:07:24,040 So, Abby, 1532 01:07:24,705 --> 01:07:26,496 without further ado... 1533 01:07:28,109 --> 01:07:29,864 will you go out with me? 1534 01:07:30,829 --> 01:07:33,005 She's too hot for you, assface! 1535 01:07:34,093 --> 01:07:36,182 Excuse me. Sorry. 1536 01:07:39,359 --> 01:07:41,100 Just say yes. Say yes. 1537 01:07:41,144 --> 01:07:42,497 ABBY: Martin... 1538 01:07:43,233 --> 01:07:45,017 I am so sorry. 1539 01:07:46,062 --> 01:07:48,536 I don't feel that way about you. 1540 01:07:49,804 --> 01:07:51,075 You don't? 1541 01:07:52,677 --> 01:07:53,591 No. 1542 01:07:54,183 --> 01:07:56,517 But I really like hanging out with you 1543 01:07:56,528 --> 01:08:00,309 and I don't know, maybe we could still be friends, you know? 1544 01:08:00,424 --> 01:08:01,425 Yeah, uh... 1545 01:08:03,292 --> 01:08:04,708 Are those doves? 1546 01:08:08,214 --> 01:08:09,650 [crowd gasps] 1547 01:08:09,806 --> 01:08:11,808 No, no, hey, hey! Suraj! 1548 01:08:11,819 --> 01:08:14,302 Hey! No, no! She said no! No, don't. 1549 01:08:15,221 --> 01:08:17,180 [crowd laughing] 1550 01:08:22,723 --> 01:08:25,046 Yo, I thought you said she liked him. 1551 01:08:25,057 --> 01:08:29,322 Not the ceremonious dove launch I was hoping for. 1552 01:08:29,435 --> 01:08:32,497 But still uplifting to free some birds. 1553 01:08:32,978 --> 01:08:33,892 Yeah. 1554 01:08:34,632 --> 01:08:35,888 Okay, uh... 1555 01:08:36,904 --> 01:08:38,410 Enjoy the game. 1556 01:08:40,085 --> 01:08:42,281 Nice try, Martin! And way to go, Martin! 1557 01:08:42,292 --> 01:08:44,250 You gave it a shot! Right? 1558 01:08:44,642 --> 01:08:46,209 [all cheering] 1559 01:08:55,609 --> 01:08:57,207 That was terrible. 1560 01:08:57,723 --> 01:09:00,762 Don't worry, people will get over it in a few weeks. 1561 01:09:05,619 --> 01:09:06,533 [glass shattering] 1562 01:09:09,014 --> 01:09:09,971 [bear growls] 1563 01:09:20,808 --> 01:09:22,636 MARTIN [imitating Trump]: This is Donald J. Trump. 1564 01:09:22,680 --> 01:09:24,247 Martin Addison can't come to the phone right now. 1565 01:09:24,290 --> 01:09:27,144 Hey, Martin, it's Simon. Again. 1566 01:09:27,206 --> 01:09:30,470 Um, look, I wanna make sure you're doing all right. 1567 01:09:30,514 --> 01:09:32,831 I know it's been tough since, uh... 1568 01:09:33,299 --> 01:09:36,394 Well, you know since when. Um, listen. Just... 1569 01:09:37,260 --> 01:09:38,696 Just give me a call back, okay? 1570 01:09:38,739 --> 01:09:41,035 I just wanna make sure you're okay. 1571 01:09:41,046 --> 01:09:42,221 -[knocking on window] -[yelps] 1572 01:09:42,265 --> 01:09:45,181 Hey! What you doin' in there? 1573 01:09:45,224 --> 01:09:46,128 Really? 1574 01:09:46,139 --> 01:09:49,050 I need you to help me decorate. Untangle these for me, will ya? 1575 01:09:49,074 --> 01:09:50,378 This is not cool. I'll be down in a minute, okay? 1576 01:09:50,407 --> 01:09:51,843 -What's not cool? -I'll be down in a minute. 1577 01:09:51,854 --> 01:09:54,086 The fact that you're on a ladder next to my room! 1578 01:09:54,097 --> 01:09:55,403 I can still clearly see you. 1579 01:09:55,974 --> 01:09:59,730 All right, there you go. Okay. Merry Christmas. 1580 01:10:00,069 --> 01:10:01,386 [computer chimes] 1581 01:10:05,347 --> 01:10:06,565 BLUE: Jacques, 1582 01:10:06,576 --> 01:10:08,497 I'm drinking eggnog and packing 1583 01:10:08,508 --> 01:10:09,714 to go to my dad's cabin on Lake Rabun. 1584 01:10:09,725 --> 01:10:11,253 I'm pretty sure there's a photo of it 1585 01:10:11,264 --> 01:10:13,019 on the Wikipedia page for "middle of nowhere." 1586 01:10:13,030 --> 01:10:14,816 Middle of nowhere. 1587 01:10:15,907 --> 01:10:17,517 I'm going to an unheated vacation house 1588 01:10:17,561 --> 01:10:19,253 in the middle of nowhere. 1589 01:10:19,998 --> 01:10:21,304 Oh, shit. 1590 01:10:21,869 --> 01:10:23,219 BLUE: There's barely electricity 1591 01:10:23,262 --> 01:10:25,003 and definitely no cell service 1592 01:10:25,046 --> 01:10:27,448 so this will be my last email for a while. 1593 01:10:27,527 --> 01:10:29,355 It should be a real rite of passage. 1594 01:10:29,399 --> 01:10:31,270 A dad and his gay son pretending they like 1595 01:10:31,314 --> 01:10:33,730 to fish and trying to find things to talk about. 1596 01:10:33,751 --> 01:10:35,144 It's gonna to be an excruciating two weeks 1597 01:10:35,155 --> 01:10:37,391 without you, Jacques. Love, Blue. 1598 01:10:37,711 --> 01:10:39,409 SIMON: Sounds like you're gonna need some good music. 1599 01:10:39,452 --> 01:10:41,367 So I'm sending a list of the seven best 1600 01:10:41,411 --> 01:10:43,239 Christmas songs of all time. 1601 01:10:43,587 --> 01:10:45,110 Of course it includes David Bowie's 1602 01:10:45,153 --> 01:10:46,355 "Little Drummer Boy," 1603 01:10:46,366 --> 01:10:47,454 and Smokey Robinson & The Miracles' 1604 01:10:47,465 --> 01:10:48,878 "Christmas Everyday," 1605 01:10:48,889 --> 01:10:50,595 but the number one song you're gonna need, 1606 01:10:50,606 --> 01:10:52,050 and trust me, I know this sounds 1607 01:10:52,061 --> 01:10:53,542 a little bit twee... 1608 01:10:53,553 --> 01:10:55,338 ["Someday at Christmas" playing] 1609 01:10:55,381 --> 01:10:59,255 ♪ Someday at Christmas Men won't be boys ♪ 1610 01:10:59,459 --> 01:11:03,594 ♪ Playing with bombs Like kids play with toys ♪ 1611 01:11:03,990 --> 01:11:07,211 ♪ One warm December Our hearts will see ♪ 1612 01:11:07,410 --> 01:11:11,980 ♪ A world where men are free Ooh ♪ 1613 01:11:12,084 --> 01:11:16,349 ♪ Someday at Christmas There'll be no wars ♪ 1614 01:11:16,550 --> 01:11:20,554 ♪ When we have learned What Christmas is for ♪ 1615 01:11:20,960 --> 01:11:24,268 ♪ When we have found What life's really worth ♪ 1616 01:11:25,019 --> 01:11:28,284 ♪ There'll be peace on Earth 1617 01:11:29,372 --> 01:11:33,724 ♪ Someday all our dreams Will come to be ♪ 1618 01:11:33,985 --> 01:11:37,815 ♪ Someday in a world Where men are free ♪ 1619 01:11:38,381 --> 01:11:41,949 ♪ Maybe not in time For you and me ♪ 1620 01:11:41,993 --> 01:11:45,910 ♪ But someday At Christmas time ♪ 1621 01:11:46,737 --> 01:11:50,610 ♪ Someday at Christmas We'll see a land... ♪ 1622 01:11:50,654 --> 01:11:53,352 [cell phone ringing] 1623 01:11:56,064 --> 01:11:58,179 -Si, have you seen it? -Hey. 1624 01:11:58,583 --> 01:11:59,410 Seen what? 1625 01:12:00,098 --> 01:12:01,012 CreekSecrets. 1626 01:12:01,891 --> 01:12:04,810 You need to look at your computer right away. 1627 01:12:06,751 --> 01:12:09,005 MARTIN: Dear fellow Creekwood students, 1628 01:12:09,020 --> 01:12:11,588 Simon Spier has a secret male pen pal. 1629 01:12:11,631 --> 01:12:13,067 Because he's gay. 1630 01:12:13,383 --> 01:12:15,515 Interested parties may contact him directly 1631 01:12:15,526 --> 01:12:17,818 to discuss arrangements for butt sex. 1632 01:12:17,890 --> 01:12:19,718 Ladies need not apply. 1633 01:12:20,008 --> 01:12:22,053 We should all probably be talking about this 1634 01:12:22,073 --> 01:12:24,841 instead of Martin Addison's homecoming debacle 1635 01:12:24,992 --> 01:12:26,888 which was actually kind of sweet, 1636 01:12:26,994 --> 01:12:29,255 and romantic, if you think about it. 1637 01:12:29,388 --> 01:12:31,303 Sincerely, Anonymous. 1638 01:12:37,741 --> 01:12:40,134 LEAH: Si, have you read it? 1639 01:12:40,287 --> 01:12:41,766 SIMON: I can't talk right now. 1640 01:12:41,777 --> 01:12:44,013 -LEAH: No. Si, wait! -I gotta go. 1641 01:12:44,360 --> 01:12:45,273 Si? 1642 01:12:45,926 --> 01:12:46,840 I saw it. 1643 01:12:47,587 --> 01:12:50,355 I already reported it. They're gonna take it down. 1644 01:12:50,366 --> 01:12:51,671 It's too late. No, there's people 1645 01:12:51,715 --> 01:12:53,377 who've already seen it, so... 1646 01:12:53,456 --> 01:12:55,127 it doesn't really matter. 1647 01:12:56,502 --> 01:12:57,806 It's true. 1648 01:13:00,724 --> 01:13:01,869 I'm gay. 1649 01:13:02,508 --> 01:13:03,422 Oh... 1650 01:13:04,118 --> 01:13:06,197 So what are you gonna do? 1651 01:13:06,686 --> 01:13:08,166 I don't know. 1652 01:13:08,209 --> 01:13:09,728 You could deny it. 1653 01:13:09,863 --> 01:13:11,560 Why the hell would I deny it, Nora? 1654 01:13:11,571 --> 01:13:13,478 I'm not ashamed of it. 1655 01:13:13,563 --> 01:13:15,782 You've just never really said anything. 1656 01:13:15,826 --> 01:13:16,674 So what? 1657 01:13:16,755 --> 01:13:18,191 What does that have to do with anything? 1658 01:13:18,204 --> 01:13:18,987 What the hell are you talking about? 1659 01:13:18,998 --> 01:13:20,042 [sobbing] Sorry. 1660 01:13:27,054 --> 01:13:28,665 SIMON: I know you're going off the grid 1661 01:13:28,708 --> 01:13:29,883 and you won't see this until you're back, 1662 01:13:29,927 --> 01:13:30,884 but something's happened. 1663 01:13:31,260 --> 01:13:33,266 You're gonna find out who I am. 1664 01:13:33,277 --> 01:13:34,582 And someone posted our emails. 1665 01:13:34,593 --> 01:13:37,743 Please don't freak out. Please, Blue. 1666 01:13:37,754 --> 01:13:40,783 I need you to promise me you won't disappear. 1667 01:13:42,113 --> 01:13:43,704 [computer chiming] 1668 01:13:48,206 --> 01:13:49,954 -[cell phone vibrating] -[exhales] 1669 01:14:16,016 --> 01:14:17,658 NORA: Mum, let me open my present. 1670 01:14:17,704 --> 01:14:21,010 EMILY: Honey, I'm trying to tell you you need to shave. 1671 01:14:21,021 --> 01:14:22,849 JACK: Does that mean you're gonna keep cooking? 1672 01:14:22,893 --> 01:14:24,503 NORA: Yeah, of course. I can make dinner tonight, too. 1673 01:14:24,547 --> 01:14:25,882 -JACK: Awesome. -What's this for? 1674 01:14:25,893 --> 01:14:26,973 Oh! 1675 01:14:26,984 --> 01:14:29,191 This one, Sherlock. There you go. 1676 01:14:33,855 --> 01:14:35,664 NORA: What is it? 1677 01:14:36,375 --> 01:14:37,811 Bluetooth headphones. 1678 01:14:37,822 --> 01:14:40,016 -Do you like the black? -Oh, I love it. 1679 01:14:40,027 --> 01:14:41,219 EMILY: Because I didn't know if you liked... 1680 01:14:41,230 --> 01:14:41,930 This is great. 1681 01:14:41,941 --> 01:14:43,259 -They have other colors. -He said he likes it. 1682 01:14:43,270 --> 01:14:44,540 -SIMON: No, I love it. -Okay. I have the receipt. 1683 01:14:44,551 --> 01:14:45,509 He's good. 1684 01:14:52,207 --> 01:14:56,035 Actually, I did want to talk to you guys about something. 1685 01:14:56,970 --> 01:14:58,134 What is it? 1686 01:14:59,973 --> 01:15:01,192 Uh, well... 1687 01:15:01,235 --> 01:15:02,806 JACK: Let me guess... 1688 01:15:04,064 --> 01:15:05,962 you got somebody pregnant. 1689 01:15:06,589 --> 01:15:07,736 No, you're pregnant. 1690 01:15:07,953 --> 01:15:10,251 -Yeah. Yeah, I'm pregnant. -JACK: [chuckles] I knew it. 1691 01:15:10,262 --> 01:15:11,713 He's got that glow about him, baby. 1692 01:15:11,724 --> 01:15:12,874 EMILY: Honey. 1693 01:15:12,885 --> 01:15:13,842 No. Uh... 1694 01:15:19,906 --> 01:15:21,087 I'm gay. 1695 01:15:23,021 --> 01:15:24,111 Honey. 1696 01:15:27,072 --> 01:15:30,151 And I don't want you guys to think anything different. 1697 01:15:30,177 --> 01:15:31,091 I'm still me. 1698 01:15:31,135 --> 01:15:32,179 Of course you are. 1699 01:15:32,190 --> 01:15:33,583 -Oh, Simon. -Yeah. 1700 01:15:34,704 --> 01:15:36,026 So you're gay? 1701 01:15:36,688 --> 01:15:38,392 Which one of your old girlfriends turned ya? 1702 01:15:38,403 --> 01:15:40,187 Was it the one with the big eyebrow... 1703 01:15:40,231 --> 01:15:41,667 -Jack. -NORA: Jesus Christ. 1704 01:15:41,711 --> 01:15:42,799 Dad, can you ever shut the hell up? 1705 01:15:42,842 --> 01:15:43,713 I'm kidding. 1706 01:15:43,724 --> 01:15:44,883 -It's not funny. -I'm kidding, Nora. 1707 01:15:44,894 --> 01:15:46,846 Just open up your gift. Please. 1708 01:15:52,504 --> 01:15:53,940 EMILY: It's okay, honey. 1709 01:15:53,951 --> 01:15:55,376 -Nora, I got you this. -NORA: Simon. 1710 01:15:55,420 --> 01:15:56,290 That's for you. No, that's for you. 1711 01:15:56,334 --> 01:15:57,627 That's from me. 1712 01:16:02,517 --> 01:16:04,096 It's a Cuisinart. 1713 01:16:05,169 --> 01:16:06,779 I love it. Thank you, Simon. 1714 01:16:10,645 --> 01:16:13,327 SIMON: Dear Blue, happy New Year. 1715 01:16:13,338 --> 01:16:14,798 I haven't heard from you, 1716 01:16:14,809 --> 01:16:17,968 so I'm going to assume it's because you have no service. 1717 01:16:18,008 --> 01:16:20,671 I came out to my entire family on Christmas. 1718 01:16:20,706 --> 01:16:21,794 It didn't go great. 1719 01:16:21,805 --> 01:16:22,968 And I've been avoiding my friends 1720 01:16:22,979 --> 01:16:25,632 the whole break for all sorts of reasons. 1721 01:16:26,391 --> 01:16:27,871 Change is exhausting. 1722 01:16:28,659 --> 01:16:30,139 I feel like there's nowhere to hide 1723 01:16:30,150 --> 01:16:32,272 from all the newness of everything. 1724 01:16:32,283 --> 01:16:34,033 Except here. With you. 1725 01:16:34,044 --> 01:16:35,482 Please write to me. 1726 01:16:35,493 --> 01:16:38,248 As soon as you get even one bar of service. 1727 01:16:39,061 --> 01:16:40,622 Breakfast burrito? 1728 01:16:41,205 --> 01:16:42,249 Thanks. 1729 01:16:42,293 --> 01:16:43,873 EMILY: Hey, Si. 1730 01:16:45,452 --> 01:16:47,052 Come sit down. 1731 01:16:48,990 --> 01:16:50,724 I'm gonna be late. 1732 01:17:06,159 --> 01:17:07,160 [sighs] 1733 01:17:22,010 --> 01:17:22,924 Hey, guys. 1734 01:17:23,452 --> 01:17:25,631 Hey, Simon, we need to talk. 1735 01:17:25,671 --> 01:17:28,952 So Abby and I hung out on New Year's Eve, and... 1736 01:17:29,862 --> 01:17:31,070 you see, now we're together. 1737 01:17:31,081 --> 01:17:32,601 That's awesome. That's great. 1738 01:17:32,612 --> 01:17:34,244 NICK: Yeah, it is. 1739 01:17:34,964 --> 01:17:37,757 But then we got to talking about why it took so long. 1740 01:17:38,044 --> 01:17:39,480 ABBY: Why did you tell Nick that I have 1741 01:17:39,524 --> 01:17:40,873 a boyfriend in college named Jonathan? 1742 01:17:40,917 --> 01:17:42,821 -Why'd you make that up? -Look, Martin... 1743 01:17:42,832 --> 01:17:44,355 he was the one who wrote 1744 01:17:44,398 --> 01:17:45,617 that CreekSecretspost about me. 1745 01:17:46,096 --> 01:17:47,880 He screenshotted my emails 1746 01:17:47,924 --> 01:17:51,249 and he's been using them to blackmail me for months. 1747 01:17:51,275 --> 01:17:53,944 What does that have to do with us, Simon? 1748 01:17:53,955 --> 01:17:55,130 He told me that if I didn't help him 1749 01:17:55,141 --> 01:17:57,100 get with Abby, he'd out me. 1750 01:18:00,110 --> 01:18:01,397 And I... 1751 01:18:02,242 --> 01:18:03,679 That's why I had to keep you guys apart. 1752 01:18:03,722 --> 01:18:05,812 So you made up a bunch of lies. 1753 01:18:06,856 --> 01:18:08,031 And that's why you convinced me 1754 01:18:08,074 --> 01:18:09,444 to go on that date with Leah? 1755 01:18:09,455 --> 01:18:11,240 You know, to keep me away from Abby? 1756 01:18:11,251 --> 01:18:12,992 So, wait. Running lines at Waffle House 1757 01:18:13,036 --> 01:18:14,820 and beer pong at Bram's, 1758 01:18:14,864 --> 01:18:17,772 all of that was just to pawn me off on Martin? 1759 01:18:17,867 --> 01:18:20,015 I'm not a piece of meat, Simon. 1760 01:18:20,407 --> 01:18:23,343 You know how hard it was for me to start over. 1761 01:18:24,552 --> 01:18:25,640 I trusted you. 1762 01:18:26,236 --> 01:18:27,411 [sighs] 1763 01:18:30,244 --> 01:18:32,820 Hey, come on, Leah. I'll take you to school. 1764 01:18:38,191 --> 01:18:40,956 Leah. Leah, please. Listen, listen. 1765 01:18:41,035 --> 01:18:42,587 I know I messed up, okay? 1766 01:18:42,630 --> 01:18:43,871 But I knew you were in love with Nick. 1767 01:18:43,882 --> 01:18:45,839 -And I thought that maybe... -Just stop it! 1768 01:18:45,850 --> 01:18:47,964 You know what? You are insanely stupid, Simon. 1769 01:18:47,975 --> 01:18:51,699 I was never in love with Nick. I was in love with you! 1770 01:18:53,293 --> 01:18:54,207 [gasps] 1771 01:18:55,121 --> 01:18:56,035 Look... 1772 01:18:57,341 --> 01:18:59,256 We're... We're us. 1773 01:18:59,299 --> 01:19:00,636 Yeah, well... 1774 01:19:01,008 --> 01:19:02,793 [sighs] Sorry. 1775 01:19:05,392 --> 01:19:07,511 I've been trying to tell you. 1776 01:19:08,447 --> 01:19:12,300 That night I slept over... I was trying to tell you. 1777 01:19:14,890 --> 01:19:17,191 You wanna know the funniest part? 1778 01:19:17,350 --> 01:19:19,800 It's that all these years, you being so picky with girls, 1779 01:19:19,811 --> 01:19:22,214 I thought that maybe it was 1780 01:19:22,235 --> 01:19:24,194 because you might like me, too. 1781 01:19:24,890 --> 01:19:26,413 And then, you know, you told me 1782 01:19:26,457 --> 01:19:27,871 I should go out with Nick 1783 01:19:27,882 --> 01:19:30,581 and I realized you were just never gonna see me that way. 1784 01:19:30,665 --> 01:19:33,386 I can deal with you being gay, Si. 1785 01:19:33,943 --> 01:19:35,548 But you set me up to get my heart broken 1786 01:19:35,559 --> 01:19:36,857 when you thought I was in love with Nick 1787 01:19:36,868 --> 01:19:38,978 and that just makes you cruel. 1788 01:19:44,617 --> 01:19:46,880 -[car engine starts] -[Simon sighs] 1789 01:19:53,005 --> 01:19:56,530 [students murmuring] 1790 01:20:08,542 --> 01:20:09,701 You all right? 1791 01:20:09,761 --> 01:20:11,185 Hanging in there. 1792 01:20:11,257 --> 01:20:12,982 Uh, for the record, 1793 01:20:13,006 --> 01:20:15,792 when I was saying that we have a lot in common, you know, 1794 01:20:15,803 --> 01:20:18,537 I wasn't really... That's not what I was talking about. 1795 01:20:18,639 --> 01:20:19,553 Gotcha. 1796 01:20:19,822 --> 01:20:21,389 Just FYI, just for the record. 1797 01:20:21,400 --> 01:20:23,349 -SIMON: Okay, great. Thanks. -All right. 1798 01:20:33,022 --> 01:20:34,168 Hey, Jackie. 1799 01:20:34,280 --> 01:20:35,759 Did you date me 1800 01:20:35,770 --> 01:20:38,066 because you think I look like a guy? 1801 01:20:38,329 --> 01:20:40,375 No. No, I actually broke up with you 1802 01:20:40,386 --> 01:20:42,551 because you don't look like a guy. 1803 01:20:42,576 --> 01:20:45,841 Oh. Oh, okay. Thanks. 1804 01:20:46,363 --> 01:20:47,277 Welcome. 1805 01:20:59,158 --> 01:21:00,551 [sighs] 1806 01:21:00,594 --> 01:21:02,466 [rap music playing on phone] 1807 01:21:02,509 --> 01:21:04,074 Yeah! Hey, Creekwood! 1808 01:21:06,557 --> 01:21:08,324 This one's for you, Spier. 1809 01:21:09,715 --> 01:21:10,879 Hey, Ethan. 1810 01:21:11,605 --> 01:21:13,113 -Oh, yeah! -Oh, yeah. 1811 01:21:17,002 --> 01:21:18,743 Ooh, ooh, ooh. 1812 01:21:18,786 --> 01:21:21,035 You like that, don't you, Spier? 1813 01:21:21,046 --> 01:21:24,675 -Yeah. -Oh, yeah, Ethan, Simon likey. 1814 01:21:24,857 --> 01:21:27,598 [Aaron and Spencer moaning] 1815 01:21:28,665 --> 01:21:31,011 You have something you wanna say to me? 1816 01:21:32,013 --> 01:21:34,249 I said do you have something to say to me? 1817 01:21:34,260 --> 01:21:35,089 [turns off music] 1818 01:21:35,100 --> 01:21:36,855 -I'll take it from here. -Hey, Ms. Albright. 1819 01:21:36,866 --> 01:21:38,404 Don't "Hey, Ms. Albright" me. 1820 01:21:38,415 --> 01:21:39,807 We're not friends. You're not gonna 1821 01:21:39,851 --> 01:21:41,157 braid my hair or paint my nails. 1822 01:21:41,200 --> 01:21:42,810 Get your ass off the table now! 1823 01:21:42,854 --> 01:21:45,248 You sweaty, hormonal virgins. 1824 01:21:45,639 --> 01:21:47,979 You know what? You're about to be suspended for so long, 1825 01:21:47,990 --> 01:21:49,556 that by the time it's over, you're gonna be 1826 01:21:49,600 --> 01:21:51,949 the fat, bald, unhappily married 1827 01:21:52,030 --> 01:21:55,207 wildly mediocre nobodies you're destined to become. 1828 01:21:55,218 --> 01:21:56,964 You can't talk to us like that. 1829 01:21:56,999 --> 01:21:58,739 Actually, I can, 'cause I just did. 1830 01:21:58,783 --> 01:22:00,437 And you know why? Because you're just those two 1831 01:22:00,480 --> 01:22:02,047 assholes that did that shitty thing 1832 01:22:02,091 --> 01:22:05,004 in front of the whole school. And guess what? 1833 01:22:05,015 --> 01:22:08,254 Nobody feels sorry for those assholes, especially me. 1834 01:22:08,749 --> 01:22:10,926 Now, walk. Mr. Worth's office now. 1835 01:22:10,969 --> 01:22:11,883 Bye. 1836 01:22:12,703 --> 01:22:14,347 Uh-uh. That's mine now. 1837 01:22:14,486 --> 01:22:16,706 I'mma sell it. Get my tubes tied. 1838 01:22:17,454 --> 01:22:19,804 [scattered laughter and chatter] 1839 01:22:30,380 --> 01:22:32,425 [inaudible conversation] 1840 01:22:33,159 --> 01:22:35,891 Why does Mr. Worth have to talk to us? 1841 01:22:36,560 --> 01:22:38,962 I mean, can't we just let this shit go? 1842 01:22:41,701 --> 01:22:43,594 Hey, I'm sorry, Ethan. 1843 01:22:45,397 --> 01:22:48,632 None of this ever happened when just you were out. 1844 01:22:49,790 --> 01:22:51,662 You know what they say, one gay's a snooze, 1845 01:22:51,705 --> 01:22:54,131 two's a hilarious hate crime. 1846 01:22:58,712 --> 01:23:01,208 You could've told me you were gay. 1847 01:23:03,034 --> 01:23:04,653 I guess I didn't think we had very much in common. 1848 01:23:04,664 --> 01:23:06,552 [scoffs] You're telling me, Simon. 1849 01:23:06,563 --> 01:23:08,423 It's not like your all-hoodie wardrobe 1850 01:23:08,434 --> 01:23:09,609 rocks my world. 1851 01:23:10,072 --> 01:23:11,073 [Simon chuckles] 1852 01:23:16,121 --> 01:23:17,214 I don't know. 1853 01:23:17,818 --> 01:23:19,300 Maybe I was jealous. 1854 01:23:20,209 --> 01:23:22,580 You've been out since you were 16. 1855 01:23:24,303 --> 01:23:26,238 It always seemed so easy for you. 1856 01:23:26,262 --> 01:23:27,176 Easy? 1857 01:23:28,090 --> 01:23:29,675 Are you kidding me? 1858 01:23:32,050 --> 01:23:33,921 My mom still tells my grandparents 1859 01:23:33,965 --> 01:23:35,836 about all the girls I'm dating 1860 01:23:35,880 --> 01:23:39,228 when we go over to their house for dinner, every Sunday. 1861 01:23:39,275 --> 01:23:42,040 She says it's 'cause they're old and religious, 1862 01:23:42,147 --> 01:23:44,087 and it's just easier that way. 1863 01:23:45,150 --> 01:23:47,321 I don't know, maybe that's true. 1864 01:23:47,612 --> 01:23:51,321 But you should hear her voice when she talks about the girls. 1865 01:23:55,987 --> 01:23:57,880 All right, boys, come on in. 1866 01:23:58,772 --> 01:23:59,730 Come on. 1867 01:24:01,166 --> 01:24:02,765 All right, just stand right here. 1868 01:24:02,776 --> 01:24:04,013 [speaks French] 1869 01:24:05,170 --> 01:24:06,443 Get up. 1870 01:24:09,591 --> 01:24:11,165 Okay, these gentlemen have something 1871 01:24:11,176 --> 01:24:12,688 that they would like to say to you. 1872 01:24:12,699 --> 01:24:14,310 -We're sorry. -Our bad. 1873 01:24:14,571 --> 01:24:16,355 That's right. 'Cause at Creekwood High, 1874 01:24:16,399 --> 01:24:17,400 what do we believe in? 1875 01:24:17,443 --> 01:24:18,740 BOTH: Tolerance. 1876 01:24:18,793 --> 01:24:20,882 And "tolerance" means we respect 1877 01:24:20,893 --> 01:24:22,732 Simon and Ethan's choice to be boyfriends. 1878 01:24:22,796 --> 01:24:24,787 -We are not boyfriends. -Yeah. No. 1879 01:24:24,798 --> 01:24:26,322 Hey, whatever you wanna call it, 1880 01:24:26,365 --> 01:24:27,584 it's fine with me. Seriously. 1881 01:24:27,627 --> 01:24:29,760 We call it "two people 1882 01:24:29,803 --> 01:24:31,544 that are not at all romantically involved." 1883 01:24:31,588 --> 01:24:32,937 Yeah, I get it. Keepin' it casual, man. 1884 01:24:32,980 --> 01:24:34,529 I can dig, seriously. 1885 01:24:36,158 --> 01:24:38,943 Oh. Simon. Hey, can we talk? 1886 01:24:39,639 --> 01:24:41,032 I don't have anything to say to you. 1887 01:24:41,076 --> 01:24:42,468 Please, please. I just wanted to say 1888 01:24:42,512 --> 01:24:43,729 that I was sorry, okay? 1889 01:24:43,740 --> 01:24:45,210 I didn't know or think 1890 01:24:45,254 --> 01:24:46,777 that people still did shit like that. 1891 01:24:46,820 --> 01:24:48,735 And I got in a lot of shit for Homecoming, 1892 01:24:48,779 --> 01:24:50,824 and I wanted everyone to focus on something else, you know? 1893 01:24:50,868 --> 01:24:52,522 I just didn't think it was gonna be a big thing. 1894 01:24:52,565 --> 01:24:54,219 I don't care if you didn't think that my coming out 1895 01:24:54,263 --> 01:24:56,372 was gonna be a big thing, Martin. 1896 01:24:57,135 --> 01:24:58,763 Look, you don't get to decide that. 1897 01:24:58,832 --> 01:25:01,096 I'm supposed to be the one that decides when 1898 01:25:01,139 --> 01:25:02,793 and where, and how and who knows 1899 01:25:02,836 --> 01:25:04,186 and how I get to say it. 1900 01:25:04,229 --> 01:25:05,491 That's supposed to be my thing! 1901 01:25:05,535 --> 01:25:07,693 And you took that away from me. 1902 01:25:08,349 --> 01:25:11,286 So, well, can you please just get the fuck away from me? 1903 01:25:20,202 --> 01:25:21,549 [sighs] 1904 01:25:33,911 --> 01:25:35,674 [computer chimes] 1905 01:25:43,094 --> 01:25:45,966 BLUE: I saw the posts. I know who you are. 1906 01:25:46,478 --> 01:25:48,115 Jacques a Dit. 1907 01:25:48,298 --> 01:25:50,381 That's what they call Simon Says in France. 1908 01:25:50,449 --> 01:25:51,711 Very clever. 1909 01:25:51,875 --> 01:25:53,311 I'm sorry, Simon. I can't do this anymore. 1910 01:25:53,331 --> 01:25:56,412 -SIMON: Please, Blue. -BLUE: I'm so sorry. 1911 01:25:56,481 --> 01:26:00,230 SIMON: You can't leave me alone. Everything's falling apart. 1912 01:26:01,895 --> 01:26:03,158 [takes deep breath] 1913 01:26:29,445 --> 01:26:30,663 [sobbing] 1914 01:26:50,610 --> 01:26:52,990 I mean, I haven't even talked to her. 1915 01:26:53,033 --> 01:26:55,235 I haven't even seen her at school. 1916 01:26:56,428 --> 01:26:58,300 Anyway, I guess I'll see you in class, right? 1917 01:26:58,343 --> 01:26:59,562 -GIRL: Yeah, totally. -CAL: Okay. 1918 01:26:59,605 --> 01:27:00,519 Later. 1919 01:27:01,825 --> 01:27:03,653 -Hey. -Hey, Simon. 1920 01:27:06,351 --> 01:27:07,497 Is it you? 1921 01:27:09,496 --> 01:27:10,738 Are you Blue? 1922 01:27:11,487 --> 01:27:14,751 No. No, it's not me. Sorry. 1923 01:27:18,320 --> 01:27:19,930 I know you've had a crazy couple days. 1924 01:27:19,973 --> 01:27:21,278 You wanna talk about it? 1925 01:27:21,323 --> 01:27:23,692 No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. 1926 01:27:23,803 --> 01:27:26,567 -No, don't worry. -Sorry for bothering you. 1927 01:27:45,347 --> 01:27:46,580 [door closes] 1928 01:28:06,716 --> 01:28:08,151 Did you know? 1929 01:28:13,375 --> 01:28:15,028 I knew you had a secret. 1930 01:28:20,165 --> 01:28:23,423 I mean, when you were little, you were so carefree. 1931 01:28:24,170 --> 01:28:28,635 But these last few years, more and more... 1932 01:28:30,092 --> 01:28:33,471 it's almost like I could feel you holding your breath. 1933 01:28:40,619 --> 01:28:43,066 I wanted to ask you about it, but I... 1934 01:28:43,405 --> 01:28:45,015 didn't wanna pry. 1935 01:28:48,279 --> 01:28:51,674 -Maybe I made a mistake. -No. No, Mom, you... 1936 01:28:53,589 --> 01:28:55,455 You didn't make a mistake. 1937 01:28:59,271 --> 01:29:01,339 EMILY: Being gay is your thing. 1938 01:29:02,380 --> 01:29:05,597 There are parts of it you have to go through alone. 1939 01:29:05,731 --> 01:29:06,732 I hate that. 1940 01:29:08,093 --> 01:29:11,753 As soon as you came out, you said, "Mom, I'm still me." 1941 01:29:15,045 --> 01:29:16,865 I need you to hear this. 1942 01:29:18,744 --> 01:29:21,268 You are still you, Simon. 1943 01:29:23,540 --> 01:29:28,789 And you are still the same son who I love to tease, 1944 01:29:29,333 --> 01:29:33,070 and who your father depends on for just about everything. 1945 01:29:33,542 --> 01:29:35,336 And you're the same brother 1946 01:29:35,508 --> 01:29:38,068 who always compliments his sister on her food, 1947 01:29:38,111 --> 01:29:40,586 even when it sucks. 1948 01:29:43,742 --> 01:29:46,005 But you get to exhale now, Simon. 1949 01:29:48,008 --> 01:29:51,343 You get to be more you than you have been... 1950 01:29:53,823 --> 01:29:55,633 in a very long time. 1951 01:30:02,868 --> 01:30:05,362 You deserve everything you want. 1952 01:30:19,631 --> 01:30:20,545 My boy. 1953 01:30:37,519 --> 01:30:39,085 Hey, Leah. 1954 01:30:39,477 --> 01:30:40,910 -Hey. -What's up? 1955 01:30:40,957 --> 01:30:42,543 What are you doing? 1956 01:30:42,554 --> 01:30:44,749 Just going for a run, you know. 1957 01:30:45,141 --> 01:30:47,910 -Daily ritual. -Yeah, you've never done that. 1958 01:30:48,312 --> 01:30:49,226 Have too. 1959 01:30:49,792 --> 01:30:51,785 But you're wearing jeans. 1960 01:30:52,708 --> 01:30:53,839 They're my running jeans. 1961 01:30:53,883 --> 01:30:56,027 Simon, you're about to pass out. 1962 01:30:56,407 --> 01:30:59,246 [panting] Okay, fine. I'm not going for a run. 1963 01:30:59,257 --> 01:31:01,053 Hey, Leah. Please, listen. 1964 01:31:01,064 --> 01:31:02,631 Look, I know, okay? 1965 01:31:02,674 --> 01:31:04,023 You didn't want anyone to know you're gay. 1966 01:31:04,035 --> 01:31:05,870 No, that wasn't just it. 1967 01:31:08,797 --> 01:31:10,746 I fell in love with someone. 1968 01:31:11,857 --> 01:31:13,683 That guy in the emails... 1969 01:31:15,165 --> 01:31:16,230 I love him. 1970 01:31:17,329 --> 01:31:19,671 And I knew that if Martin leaked our emails, 1971 01:31:19,682 --> 01:31:21,112 it'd scare him off. 1972 01:31:21,998 --> 01:31:22,912 I'm sorry. 1973 01:31:25,616 --> 01:31:28,229 I know what I did was messed up. 1974 01:31:31,059 --> 01:31:32,535 You're my best friend. 1975 01:31:32,574 --> 01:31:33,731 If I'm your best friend, 1976 01:31:33,742 --> 01:31:36,020 then why did you come out to Abby and not me? 1977 01:31:38,047 --> 01:31:39,488 Think it was easier. 1978 01:31:41,104 --> 01:31:43,266 I've known Abby for six months, 1979 01:31:43,367 --> 01:31:46,239 and I've known you for 13 years. 1980 01:31:48,590 --> 01:31:49,982 And I knew that if I told you, 1981 01:31:50,026 --> 01:31:52,610 that everything was gonna be different. 1982 01:31:53,777 --> 01:31:56,321 I really wanted things to stay the same. 1983 01:32:00,515 --> 01:32:02,772 Tell me about this guy you love. 1984 01:32:06,106 --> 01:32:07,716 -You sure? -Yeah. 1985 01:32:08,324 --> 01:32:11,340 It'll help me kill off Hetero Simon in my mind. 1986 01:32:11,351 --> 01:32:14,183 -You don't have to kill him off. -He's dead, Si. 1987 01:32:14,267 --> 01:32:17,417 Hacking him up with a mental machete as we speak. 1988 01:32:17,488 --> 01:32:18,620 [chuckles] 1989 01:32:19,055 --> 01:32:20,883 All right. Fair enough. 1990 01:32:23,807 --> 01:32:25,424 So, I call him Blue. 1991 01:32:35,566 --> 01:32:37,114 Hey, Si. 1992 01:32:38,857 --> 01:32:40,123 Yeah? 1993 01:32:45,385 --> 01:32:46,386 [sighs] 1994 01:32:50,534 --> 01:32:52,579 How long have you known? 1995 01:32:54,193 --> 01:32:58,042 Like, I really started to get it when I was around... 1996 01:33:00,139 --> 01:33:01,214 thirteen? 1997 01:33:01,401 --> 01:33:03,471 Four years? Four years of... 1998 01:33:04,970 --> 01:33:06,537 eating dinner together, 1999 01:33:06,581 --> 01:33:07,973 four years of going to movies together. 2000 01:33:08,017 --> 01:33:10,542 Four years of walking Bieber together. 2001 01:33:12,804 --> 01:33:14,143 I'm sorry. 2002 01:33:14,763 --> 01:33:16,405 I shouldn't have missed it. 2003 01:33:16,416 --> 01:33:17,964 No. Hey, no, Dad. 2004 01:33:17,975 --> 01:33:19,811 All those stupid jokes... 2005 01:33:20,450 --> 01:33:21,576 Well, I know you didn't mean 'em. 2006 01:33:21,587 --> 01:33:24,387 It doesn't matter. I shouldn't have missed it. 2007 01:33:27,427 --> 01:33:28,559 But... 2008 01:33:28,881 --> 01:33:31,889 in case the message got lost somewhere I just... 2009 01:33:32,789 --> 01:33:35,318 I just want you to know that I love you. 2010 01:33:36,857 --> 01:33:39,248 [crying] And I'm really proud of you. 2011 01:33:39,891 --> 01:33:42,427 I wouldn't change anything about you. 2012 01:33:45,120 --> 01:33:46,631 Hey. Shit, Dad. 2013 01:33:49,362 --> 01:33:50,506 Hey, stop crying. 2014 01:33:50,537 --> 01:33:52,443 I'm trying. I'm trying. 2015 01:33:53,540 --> 01:33:55,217 Oh, God. 2016 01:33:57,066 --> 01:33:58,279 Come here. 2017 01:34:07,990 --> 01:34:09,923 How's that video for Mom coming? 2018 01:34:09,948 --> 01:34:11,297 -Good. -Good, good. 2019 01:34:11,341 --> 01:34:12,390 Good. 2020 01:34:15,214 --> 01:34:16,563 You don't know how to export it, do you? 2021 01:34:16,607 --> 01:34:17,390 Can you help me with that, please? 2022 01:34:17,434 --> 01:34:18,348 Yeah. 2023 01:34:18,827 --> 01:34:20,275 -Okay. -Let's go. 2024 01:34:20,350 --> 01:34:21,307 Hey. 2025 01:34:22,067 --> 01:34:25,382 I thought maybe we could sign up for Grindr together. 2026 01:34:25,485 --> 01:34:28,007 You don't know what Grindr is, do you? 2027 01:34:28,097 --> 01:34:29,925 It's Facebook for gay people. 2028 01:34:30,539 --> 01:34:32,013 Not what it is. 2029 01:34:35,408 --> 01:34:36,717 Ladies and gentlemen, 2030 01:34:36,728 --> 01:34:38,928 I present to you 20 years of bliss. 2031 01:34:39,891 --> 01:34:43,068 [video playing] 2032 01:34:47,246 --> 01:34:49,204 EMILY: Did you guys do this? 2033 01:34:49,799 --> 01:34:51,703 Simon and I did it, yeah. 2034 01:34:52,469 --> 01:34:54,253 -I just helped. -It was mostly me. 2035 01:34:54,297 --> 01:34:55,690 EMILY: [laughs] Yeah, right. 2036 01:34:59,868 --> 01:35:01,304 Really? Really? 2037 01:35:03,088 --> 01:35:05,390 EMILY: I can't believe you did this. 2038 01:35:05,525 --> 01:35:07,908 I panicked and bought you a watch. 2039 01:35:07,919 --> 01:35:09,062 That's okay. 2040 01:35:09,312 --> 01:35:10,530 You can give me somethin' later 2041 01:35:10,574 --> 01:35:11,836 that I can't get in the store. 2042 01:35:11,880 --> 01:35:13,316 That's really gross. 2043 01:35:13,327 --> 01:35:15,640 -Oh, guys, just look. -Sorry, just pay attention. 2044 01:35:15,651 --> 01:35:16,826 Just look at baby Bieber! 2045 01:35:16,852 --> 01:35:18,027 NORA: He was so cute! 2046 01:35:18,038 --> 01:35:20,179 EMILY: Just look at our baby! 2047 01:35:24,066 --> 01:35:26,476 SIMON: Dear students of Creekwood High School, 2048 01:35:26,546 --> 01:35:29,765 As anyone with a half-decent data plan already knows, 2049 01:35:29,811 --> 01:35:32,030 a recent post on this very website 2050 01:35:32,074 --> 01:35:33,710 declared that I was gay. 2051 01:35:33,721 --> 01:35:35,585 The delivery left something to be desired, 2052 01:35:35,599 --> 01:35:37,499 but the message is true. 2053 01:35:37,601 --> 01:35:39,646 I am... gay. 2054 01:35:40,256 --> 01:35:43,562 For a long time, I was killing myself to hide that fact. 2055 01:35:44,086 --> 01:35:45,593 I had all these reasons. 2056 01:35:45,604 --> 01:35:47,432 It was unfair that only gay people had to come out. 2057 01:35:47,443 --> 01:35:48,663 I was sick of change. 2058 01:35:48,674 --> 01:35:50,864 But the truth is I was just scared. 2059 01:35:50,875 --> 01:35:52,179 COACH: Come on, Garrett. Let's go! 2060 01:35:52,190 --> 01:35:54,444 SIMON: At first I thought it was just a gay thing. 2061 01:35:54,487 --> 01:35:55,924 But then I realized, no matter what, 2062 01:35:55,967 --> 01:35:57,534 announcing who you are 2063 01:35:57,577 --> 01:35:59,077 to the world is pretty terrifying 2064 01:35:59,088 --> 01:36:01,890 because what if the world doesn't like you? 2065 01:36:02,017 --> 01:36:04,999 So, I did whatever I could to keep my secret. 2066 01:36:05,150 --> 01:36:07,674 I hurt the best, most important people. 2067 01:36:07,774 --> 01:36:10,108 And I want them to know that I'm sorry. 2068 01:36:10,199 --> 01:36:11,837 I am done being scared. 2069 01:36:12,281 --> 01:36:13,761 I'm done living in a world 2070 01:36:13,837 --> 01:36:15,626 where I don't get to be who I am. 2071 01:36:15,639 --> 01:36:17,684 I deserve a great love story. 2072 01:36:17,728 --> 01:36:20,439 Disclaimer, this is about to get romantic as eff, 2073 01:36:20,513 --> 01:36:22,602 so anyone adverse to gratuitous feelings 2074 01:36:22,646 --> 01:36:24,561 kindly click over to the BuzzFeed quiz 2075 01:36:24,604 --> 01:36:26,650 or resume the porn you paused to read this. 2076 01:36:26,693 --> 01:36:28,220 Did you even use the ladder? 2077 01:36:28,231 --> 01:36:30,016 SIMON: This guy that I love once wrote 2078 01:36:30,027 --> 01:36:32,400 that he felt like he was stuck on a Ferris wheel. 2079 01:36:32,411 --> 01:36:34,243 On top of the world one minute, 2080 01:36:34,266 --> 01:36:36,064 at rock bottom the next. 2081 01:36:36,222 --> 01:36:37,876 That's how I feel now. 2082 01:36:39,054 --> 01:36:41,697 I couldn't ask for more amazing friends, 2083 01:36:41,708 --> 01:36:43,874 a more understanding family. 2084 01:36:43,885 --> 01:36:45,451 But it would all be so much better 2085 01:36:45,495 --> 01:36:47,634 if I had someone to share it with. 2086 01:36:49,586 --> 01:36:50,712 So, Blue... 2087 01:36:51,337 --> 01:36:54,556 I might not know your name or what you look like. 2088 01:36:54,929 --> 01:36:56,743 But I know who you are. 2089 01:36:57,284 --> 01:36:59,681 I know you're funny and thoughtful. 2090 01:36:59,814 --> 01:37:01,337 That you choose your words carefully 2091 01:37:01,380 --> 01:37:02,729 and that they're always perfect. 2092 01:37:04,383 --> 01:37:06,124 And I know that you've been pretending for so long 2093 01:37:06,168 --> 01:37:08,371 it's hard to believe you can stop. 2094 01:37:08,518 --> 01:37:09,432 I get it. 2095 01:37:10,247 --> 01:37:12,543 Like I told you at the very beginning, 2096 01:37:12,652 --> 01:37:14,089 I'm just like you. 2097 01:37:14,132 --> 01:37:15,543 -GIRLS: Hi, Simon. -SIMON: What's up? 2098 01:37:15,786 --> 01:37:17,262 SIMON: So, Blue... 2099 01:37:17,273 --> 01:37:19,431 after the play, Friday at 10:00, 2100 01:37:19,442 --> 01:37:20,530 you know where I'll be. 2101 01:37:21,488 --> 01:37:24,614 No pressure for you to show up, but I hope you do. 2102 01:37:24,902 --> 01:37:27,613 Because you deserve a great love story too. 2103 01:37:27,711 --> 01:37:29,844 Love, Simon. 2104 01:37:41,206 --> 01:37:43,078 ♪ Willkommen 2105 01:37:43,161 --> 01:37:44,859 ♪ Bienvenue 2106 01:37:45,022 --> 01:37:50,811 ♪ Welcome im cabaret 2107 01:37:51,691 --> 01:37:53,041 ♪ Au cabaret 2108 01:37:54,085 --> 01:38:01,049 ♪ To cabaret 2109 01:38:05,575 --> 01:38:07,446 [audience cheering] 2110 01:38:12,147 --> 01:38:13,626 [all gasping] 2111 01:38:14,366 --> 01:38:17,755 Okay. They're not paying me enough for this. 2112 01:38:18,980 --> 01:38:20,590 [indistinct chatter] 2113 01:38:25,158 --> 01:38:26,507 -ABBY: Hi -LEAH: Oh, my God. 2114 01:38:26,518 --> 01:38:27,519 -Oh, my God! -You were amazing. 2115 01:38:27,530 --> 01:38:28,880 I'm not even kidding. 2116 01:38:28,891 --> 01:38:29,892 -You were, like, insane. -Thank you! 2117 01:38:29,955 --> 01:38:31,347 -What's up? -Baby! 2118 01:38:31,358 --> 01:38:32,812 [laughing] 2119 01:38:35,655 --> 01:38:37,678 ABBY: Yeah. Yeah. 2120 01:38:41,524 --> 01:38:42,734 [clears throat] 2121 01:38:43,004 --> 01:38:44,992 -Hey, Simon. -Hey. 2122 01:38:47,732 --> 01:38:51,125 Do you wanna go to the carnival with us tonight? 2123 01:38:54,797 --> 01:38:56,106 Yes. 2124 01:38:56,147 --> 01:38:57,235 -Yeah? -SIMON: Yeah! 2125 01:38:57,279 --> 01:38:58,323 LEAH: Yay! 2126 01:38:58,367 --> 01:39:00,053 Get in here, Leah! 2127 01:39:00,064 --> 01:39:01,425 LEAH: [grunts] The love! 2128 01:39:01,790 --> 01:39:03,190 Thank you. 2129 01:39:22,260 --> 01:39:23,479 -We'll be right here. -Yeah. 2130 01:39:23,522 --> 01:39:24,828 -Go get him. -All right. 2131 01:39:24,871 --> 01:39:26,395 -Yes! -Woo! Yeah! 2132 01:39:26,438 --> 01:39:27,744 Go, Simon! 2133 01:39:27,787 --> 01:39:29,940 -Spier, Spier, Spier! -Woo! 2134 01:39:30,009 --> 01:39:32,119 That should last a while. 2135 01:39:35,360 --> 01:39:36,471 GIRL: Oh, my God, look. 2136 01:39:36,482 --> 01:39:38,352 I bet he's waiting for the other gay kid. 2137 01:39:38,363 --> 01:39:40,581 Where's Dana? She'll love this. 2138 01:39:41,845 --> 01:39:44,218 ABBY: You got this, buddy. Proud of you. 2139 01:39:44,229 --> 01:39:45,621 [students cheering] 2140 01:39:45,708 --> 01:39:47,215 -Yeah, buddy! -Yeah! 2141 01:39:47,226 --> 01:39:48,531 You got it! Woo! 2142 01:39:48,591 --> 01:39:50,104 ABBY: This is it. 2143 01:39:54,162 --> 01:39:55,163 ALL: Yeah! 2144 01:39:55,641 --> 01:39:56,686 [cheering continues] 2145 01:40:02,083 --> 01:40:03,646 We love you, Simon! 2146 01:40:04,259 --> 01:40:06,000 [all cheering] 2147 01:40:08,027 --> 01:40:10,666 Yo. Can you just... Come on, no. 2148 01:40:15,574 --> 01:40:17,098 [all whooping] 2149 01:40:38,641 --> 01:40:41,339 Okay. That's your last ride ticket, buddy. 2150 01:40:43,472 --> 01:40:45,474 MARTIN: Wait. Wait! 2151 01:40:48,564 --> 01:40:51,056 Simon, it's me. 2152 01:40:52,292 --> 01:40:54,775 I'm Blue. l love you. 2153 01:40:56,354 --> 01:40:58,954 -No, you're not. -No, I'm not. I just... 2154 01:40:59,923 --> 01:41:02,603 This is so brutal. 2155 01:41:03,970 --> 01:41:05,822 Here. I'll tell you what. 2156 01:41:05,972 --> 01:41:08,627 I got a couple... How much is it? 2157 01:41:09,280 --> 01:41:12,196 -It's four tickets, four bucks. -Perfect. Okay. There you go. 2158 01:41:12,240 --> 01:41:13,556 Last one's on me. 2159 01:41:14,694 --> 01:41:15,868 Got it. 2160 01:41:17,565 --> 01:41:19,829 Last call for the Ferris wheel! 2161 01:41:22,163 --> 01:41:25,103 Oh, no, I can't watch. I can't watch this, babe. No. 2162 01:41:25,166 --> 01:41:26,306 This is awful. 2163 01:41:26,776 --> 01:41:28,689 -Okay, Dora. -Wait, wait. 2164 01:41:30,301 --> 01:41:31,697 Can I sit there? 2165 01:41:32,347 --> 01:41:34,642 I was kind of waiting for somebody. 2166 01:41:35,306 --> 01:41:36,704 Yeah, I know. 2167 01:41:41,269 --> 01:41:42,634 It's Bram! 2168 01:41:48,624 --> 01:41:49,806 It's you. 2169 01:41:51,126 --> 01:41:52,336 It's me. 2170 01:41:55,631 --> 01:41:57,285 But that night at the party... 2171 01:41:57,328 --> 01:42:00,201 Yeah. I was drunk and confused. 2172 01:42:00,244 --> 01:42:03,189 And it ended, like, a minute after you saw us. 2173 01:42:06,218 --> 01:42:07,547 And you're Jewish. 2174 01:42:08,023 --> 01:42:08,937 Yeah. 2175 01:42:10,036 --> 01:42:11,439 Which is cool. 2176 01:42:12,094 --> 01:42:13,696 And I'm black too. 2177 01:42:14,650 --> 01:42:15,836 And gay. 2178 01:42:17,131 --> 01:42:18,382 It's kind of crazy, huh? 2179 01:42:18,393 --> 01:42:20,025 I didn't think you'd come. 2180 01:42:20,699 --> 01:42:22,005 Me neither. 2181 01:42:22,016 --> 01:42:25,747 Until I was walking towards you, I didn't think I had it in me. 2182 01:42:33,712 --> 01:42:35,497 [all murmuring] 2183 01:42:46,059 --> 01:42:48,831 Are you disappointed that it's me? 2184 01:42:51,570 --> 01:42:52,891 No. 2185 01:42:56,257 --> 01:42:59,608 [all cheering] 2186 01:43:33,187 --> 01:43:35,076 [cell phone ringing] 2187 01:43:39,300 --> 01:43:40,092 Hey. 2188 01:43:40,103 --> 01:43:41,757 LEAH: Have you seen CreekSecrets? 2189 01:43:41,768 --> 01:43:44,381 There are six new confessions, all signed. 2190 01:43:44,435 --> 01:43:45,480 Listen to this. 2191 01:43:46,101 --> 01:43:48,469 "My parents didn't come and see me inCabaret. 2192 01:43:48,480 --> 01:43:50,517 They hate that I wanna be an actor. 2193 01:43:50,528 --> 01:43:53,172 I don't know if they'll ever be proud of me. 2194 01:43:53,183 --> 01:43:54,553 Taylor Metternich." 2195 01:43:54,663 --> 01:43:55,577 Wow. 2196 01:43:56,317 --> 01:43:58,029 You're a trendsetter, Spier. 2197 01:43:58,711 --> 01:44:01,822 Now, come on, get in the car. We need to go. 2198 01:44:11,027 --> 01:44:12,637 -Good morning! -Ah, there he is! 2199 01:44:12,681 --> 01:44:14,553 -Morning, Simon. -Top of the morning, kid. 2200 01:44:14,564 --> 01:44:15,697 What's this? 2201 01:44:15,782 --> 01:44:17,849 -Nora's specialty. -Mm, coconut? 2202 01:44:17,860 --> 01:44:19,590 -Yeah. -You look good. 2203 01:44:19,601 --> 01:44:21,080 -Have a good day, honey. -You too. 2204 01:44:21,124 --> 01:44:22,807 -Is it good? -It's delicious. 2205 01:44:22,865 --> 01:44:24,562 -I'll see you guys. -What, you're not gonna eat? 2206 01:44:24,606 --> 01:44:25,607 Bye, Simon. 2207 01:44:25,650 --> 01:44:29,480 ["Wild Heart" playing] 2208 01:44:38,642 --> 01:44:40,645 -Mornin'. -Mornin', buddy. 2209 01:44:42,145 --> 01:44:43,712 ♪ No one will ever Read the letters ♪ 2210 01:44:43,755 --> 01:44:45,714 ♪ Or the lies that I told 2211 01:44:46,062 --> 01:44:48,543 ♪ From the years I was changed... ♪ 2212 01:44:48,829 --> 01:44:51,090 -Good morning. -Hey! How you doin', Leah? 2213 01:44:51,101 --> 01:44:53,004 Pretty good. Pretty good. 2214 01:44:53,504 --> 01:44:55,245 ♪ Why did they have to go And run ♪ 2215 01:44:55,289 --> 01:44:57,856 ♪ From the dream far away 2216 01:44:58,422 --> 01:45:00,816 ♪ Were we there? Was I brave? 2217 01:45:01,251 --> 01:45:03,297 ♪ Ooh, ooh! 2218 01:45:03,862 --> 01:45:04,776 Hey! 2219 01:45:12,306 --> 01:45:13,219 Hey. 2220 01:45:17,419 --> 01:45:19,055 -Morning. -Morning. 2221 01:45:22,487 --> 01:45:24,591 Everybody in? -Yes. -Oh, yeah. 2222 01:45:24,602 --> 01:45:28,341 All right, it's too beautiful a day, so I think I'm gonna actually take us on a little adventure. 2223 01:45:28,452 --> 01:45:29,497 -Yes! -Woo! 2224 01:45:29,540 --> 01:45:31,237 That's exactly what I need! 2225 01:45:31,281 --> 01:45:32,967 NICK: Yeah, adventure! 2226 01:45:34,163 --> 01:45:35,947 ♪ Wild heart 2227 01:45:37,191 --> 01:45:38,366 ♪ Wild heart 2228 01:45:40,079 --> 01:45:41,341 ♪ Wild heart 2229 01:45:43,019 --> 01:45:44,238 ♪ Wild heart 2230 01:45:45,993 --> 01:45:47,299 ♪ Wild heart 2231 01:45:48,978 --> 01:45:50,153 ♪ Wild heart 2232 01:45:52,209 --> 01:45:56,249 ♪ When we met Everything seemed all right ♪ 2233 01:45:58,525 --> 01:46:00,960 ♪ I turn and sing On the sidewalk ♪ 2234 01:46:01,106 --> 01:46:03,686 ♪ Cut straight through The moonlight ♪ 2235 01:46:05,938 --> 01:46:09,289 ♪ I loved those days We didn't get out of bed ♪ 2236 01:46:12,570 --> 01:46:16,096 ♪ Left your taste in my mouth Your strange voice in my head ♪ 2237 01:46:16,918 --> 01:46:19,573 ♪ Oh I wanna hear it again 2238 01:46:20,752 --> 01:46:23,146 ♪ Expect that we're caught In a love song ♪ 2239 01:46:23,592 --> 01:46:26,334 ♪ So loud, oh, yeah 2240 01:46:27,756 --> 01:46:29,975 ♪ No not so typical love song 2241 01:46:30,260 --> 01:46:32,958 ♪ 'Cause it hurt us Again and again ♪ 2242 01:46:34,288 --> 01:46:36,681 ♪ So say that I really need you ♪ 2243 01:46:37,005 --> 01:46:39,921 ♪ So bad, oh, yeah 2244 01:46:40,977 --> 01:46:43,371 ♪ No, not so typical Love song ♪ 2245 01:46:43,807 --> 01:46:46,462 ♪ 'Cause it hurt us Again and again ♪ 2246 01:46:47,791 --> 01:46:49,358 ♪ Hey 2247 01:46:55,357 --> 01:46:57,592 ♪ La, la, la, la, la 2248 01:46:59,963 --> 01:47:02,118 ♪ You leave the city And chase bullet holes ♪ 2249 01:47:02,129 --> 01:47:03,870 ♪ That's actually starlight 2250 01:47:06,438 --> 01:47:09,049 ♪ In those rare moments You and I were brilliant ♪ 2251 01:47:09,108 --> 01:47:10,849 ♪ We were gonna be all right 2252 01:47:13,710 --> 01:47:16,931 ♪ God I loved those days We couldn't get out of bed ♪ 2253 01:47:20,384 --> 01:47:23,953 ♪ With your taste in my mouth Or your words in my head ♪ 2254 01:47:24,275 --> 01:47:27,103 ♪ And now I wanna Hear it again ♪ 2255 01:47:28,484 --> 01:47:30,964 ♪ Expect that we're caught n a love song ♪ 2256 01:47:31,488 --> 01:47:34,360 ♪ So loud, oh, yeah 2257 01:47:35,294 --> 01:47:37,557 ♪ No, not so typical Love song ♪ 2258 01:47:37,986 --> 01:47:40,641 ♪ 'Cause it hurt us Again and again ♪ 2259 01:47:42,007 --> 01:47:44,314 ♪ So say that I really need you ♪ 2260 01:47:44,679 --> 01:47:47,291 ♪ So bad, oh, yeah 2261 01:47:48,861 --> 01:47:51,081 ♪ No, not so typical Love song ♪ 2262 01:47:51,632 --> 01:47:54,243 ♪ 'Cause it hurt us Again and again ♪ 2263 01:47:54,816 --> 01:48:01,823 [instrumental music playing] 2264 01:49:39,660 --> 01:49:41,662 Captioned by Deluxe