1 00:01:14,654 --> 00:01:20,820 O great American multitude, and sports fans everywhere. 2 00:01:20,893 --> 00:01:26,024 Today we inaugurate the 20th annual Transcontinental Road Race. 3 00:01:26,099 --> 00:01:30,536 Today the five bravest young men and women 4 00:01:30,603 --> 00:01:33,504 in this bravest of nations 5 00:01:33,573 --> 00:01:35,234 will risk their lives 6 00:01:35,308 --> 00:01:39,267 in the greatest sporting event since the days of Spartacus. 7 00:01:39,345 --> 00:01:44,578 Three days hence, a new American champion will be crowned, 8 00:01:44,650 --> 00:01:48,643 for all the world to behold in awe, 9 00:01:48,721 --> 00:01:50,382 in respect, 10 00:01:50,456 --> 00:01:52,117 in fear. 11 00:01:52,191 --> 00:01:57,595 All right, all right. This is Junior Bruce, your buddy-buddy and mine. 12 00:01:57,663 --> 00:02:00,962 And I'll be giving you the blow-by-blow play-by-play 13 00:02:01,033 --> 00:02:05,527 when the kings and queens of the open road roar onto the track. 14 00:02:05,605 --> 00:02:08,130 Do I hear the sound of engines? 15 00:02:08,207 --> 00:02:12,041 It's "Calamity" Jane Kelly, queen of the road, 16 00:02:12,111 --> 00:02:15,569 at the wheel of that mean old ornery stud Bull. 17 00:02:19,519 --> 00:02:22,886 Zany Janie, winner of this year's trials at Watkins Glen, 18 00:02:22,955 --> 00:02:24,946 placed second in 1998 19 00:02:25,024 --> 00:02:29,427 and led at last year's second lap until she went out with gear trouble. 20 00:02:29,495 --> 00:02:34,125 Her fans and lovers everywhere wish Janie better luck this year. 21 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:36,430 My fans can wish me all the luck they want. 22 00:02:36,502 --> 00:02:40,029 If my luck with my lovers gets any better, I'll miss the race completely. 23 00:02:40,106 --> 00:02:42,870 Isn't that right, Pete? 24 00:02:42,942 --> 00:02:46,070 With the start of the race only a heartthrob away, 25 00:02:46,145 --> 00:02:49,603 this is Grace Pander on the spot - as usual - 26 00:02:49,682 --> 00:02:52,742 to welcome the greatest racer of all time, 27 00:02:52,818 --> 00:02:55,981 and a very dear friend of mine. 28 00:02:56,055 --> 00:03:01,254 Yes, in just a moment he will be coming through the doors! 29 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:09,591 There is no cause for alarm. 30 00:03:09,669 --> 00:03:13,662 The patient has been flown in from abroad in a state of suspended animation 31 00:03:13,739 --> 00:03:18,039 in order to facilitate the healing of his recent limb transplants. 32 00:03:18,110 --> 00:03:21,477 He should be coming around any moment now. 33 00:03:24,283 --> 00:03:27,275 Oh, my... I don't believe it! 34 00:03:32,491 --> 00:03:37,394 Frankenstein, can you give me an exclusive? How are things abroad? 35 00:03:37,463 --> 00:03:40,921 How is Mr. President? Is he still in Moscow? 36 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:46,996 Mr. President is in his summer palace in Peking. 37 00:03:47,073 --> 00:03:48,904 He loves everybody. 38 00:03:49,008 --> 00:03:51,568 And everybody loves him. 39 00:03:51,644 --> 00:03:53,544 - Sieg! - Heil! 40 00:03:53,613 --> 00:03:58,050 Here she is, that adorable swastika sweetheart, 41 00:03:58,117 --> 00:04:01,280 Matilda the Hun from Milwaukee! 42 00:04:01,354 --> 00:04:07,486 And her lovable Nazi navigator, Herman "the German" Bock! 43 00:04:16,135 --> 00:04:17,534 Matilda, Herman, 44 00:04:17,603 --> 00:04:22,666 do you think this is your turn to be first and foremost in sunny California? 45 00:04:22,742 --> 00:04:25,176 - Today, California. - Tomorrow, the world. 46 00:04:25,244 --> 00:04:27,804 Hiya, Herman. 47 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:32,908 I hope your Buzz Bomb has a little more juice in its warhead this year. 48 00:04:36,422 --> 00:04:38,982 Whoever named your car the Bull, 49 00:04:39,058 --> 00:04:41,492 was only half right! 50 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:45,587 Frankenstein, will Mr. President fly in to crown the winner of the race? 51 00:04:45,665 --> 00:04:46,359 Yes. 52 00:04:46,432 --> 00:04:48,764 Is it true that with your new mechanical arm 53 00:04:48,834 --> 00:04:51,735 you can shift gears in less than a twentieth of a second? 54 00:04:51,804 --> 00:04:54,967 - Would you care to comment on that? - No. 55 00:04:55,041 --> 00:04:58,704 How do you feel about going into the race with a navigator you've never met? 56 00:04:58,778 --> 00:05:01,804 You'll love Annie. She's a red-hot sexpot. 57 00:05:01,881 --> 00:05:04,349 She better be a red-hot navigator. 58 00:05:07,253 --> 00:05:08,618 No more questions. 59 00:05:08,688 --> 00:05:14,888 It's the Lion! And at the wheel, Ray "Nero the Hero" Lonnegan. 60 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:17,155 Never has finished the Transcontinental, 61 00:05:17,229 --> 00:05:21,893 but three big wins in the provinces this season plus a brand-new beast 62 00:05:21,967 --> 00:05:24,868 means Nero's not fiddling around. 63 00:05:24,937 --> 00:05:28,634 Sit still, Cleopatra, and stop blocking me. 64 00:05:28,708 --> 00:05:31,074 My fans wanna see me. 65 00:05:31,143 --> 00:05:33,407 They've never seen a has-been before? 66 00:05:40,519 --> 00:05:43,010 - Annie Smith? - Mr. Frankenstein. 67 00:05:44,223 --> 00:05:47,021 I've checked out the car, and everything seems perfect. 68 00:05:47,093 --> 00:05:52,121 - I have the route maps right here. - I will check them in a minute. 69 00:05:53,165 --> 00:05:54,757 We will roll... 70 00:05:54,834 --> 00:05:57,928 when everything seems perfect... 71 00:05:58,003 --> 00:05:59,095 to me. 72 00:05:59,171 --> 00:06:01,469 I've packed some high-protein capsules 73 00:06:01,540 --> 00:06:04,441 and as many adrenaline tablets as I could find. 74 00:06:04,510 --> 00:06:09,243 And I've also assembled a medical kit, just in case. I'm trained as a nurse. 75 00:06:09,315 --> 00:06:12,546 I don't need a nurse. I need a navigator. 76 00:06:12,618 --> 00:06:17,214 Mr. Frankenstein, you're very good at what you do, 77 00:06:17,289 --> 00:06:19,883 and I'm very good at what I do. 78 00:06:19,959 --> 00:06:22,120 We'll see. 79 00:06:23,262 --> 00:06:28,791 And you know there's only one person who guns an engine like that. 80 00:06:28,868 --> 00:06:32,497 It's gotta be the roughest tough guy of 'em all, 81 00:06:32,571 --> 00:06:36,302 "Machine Gun" Joe Viterbo! 82 00:06:38,444 --> 00:06:40,878 Here he comes - Machine Gun Joe. 83 00:06:40,946 --> 00:06:44,347 Loved by thousands, hated by millions. 84 00:06:44,417 --> 00:06:47,648 Only living previous winner except for Frankenstein. 85 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:50,587 Highest lifetime score after Frankenstein. 86 00:06:50,656 --> 00:06:54,592 And he's certainly getting the welcome he deserves. 87 00:06:57,696 --> 00:07:03,692 Joe doesn't look too happy, but you can't keep those Frankenstein fans down. 88 00:07:04,203 --> 00:07:06,967 Lousy sons of bitches. 89 00:07:07,039 --> 00:07:09,234 - Frankenstein? - Give it to them, Joe. 90 00:07:09,308 --> 00:07:11,299 You want Frankenstein? 91 00:07:11,377 --> 00:07:13,902 I'll give you Frankenstein. 92 00:07:17,917 --> 00:07:18,611 Yeah! 93 00:07:18,684 --> 00:07:20,743 Here he comes! Here he comes! 94 00:07:20,820 --> 00:07:22,515 Frankenstein! 95 00:07:22,588 --> 00:07:27,355 Frankenstein the legend! Frankenstein the indestructible! 96 00:07:27,426 --> 00:07:30,987 Sole survivor of the titanic pileup of '95. 97 00:07:31,063 --> 00:07:34,260 Only two-time winner of the Transcontinental Road Race. 98 00:07:34,333 --> 00:07:36,426 Frankenstein - 99 00:07:36,502 --> 00:07:40,700 ripped up, wiped out, battered, shattered, creamed and reamed! 100 00:07:40,773 --> 00:07:43,139 A dancer on the brink of death. 101 00:07:43,209 --> 00:07:48,112 Frankenstein, who lost a leg in '98, an arm in '99. 102 00:07:48,180 --> 00:07:53,675 With half a face and half a chest and all the guts in the world, he's back! 103 00:07:53,752 --> 00:07:58,655 God only knows what he looks like under that mask, but he is back. 104 00:07:58,724 --> 00:08:04,026 In the name of Mr. President, America loves you, Frankenstein. 105 00:08:15,474 --> 00:08:18,102 You will regret that, Joe. 106 00:08:23,182 --> 00:08:24,547 Stay tuned, racing fans. 107 00:08:24,617 --> 00:08:30,453 T- video satellite will bring every mile of thrills and spills into your living room. 108 00:08:30,523 --> 00:08:34,960 All five cars are in starting position here at New York Memorial Raceway, 109 00:08:35,027 --> 00:08:36,927 ready to roll. 110 00:08:36,996 --> 00:08:42,263 Now we take you to the Summer Palace. And Mr. President. 111 00:08:56,348 --> 00:08:58,145 My children, 112 00:08:58,217 --> 00:09:01,550 whom I love so dearly, 113 00:09:01,620 --> 00:09:03,747 it has been my duty 114 00:09:03,822 --> 00:09:06,814 in the long and difficult years 115 00:09:06,892 --> 00:09:10,191 since the world crash of '79 116 00:09:10,262 --> 00:09:14,028 to serve you as best I could. 117 00:09:14,099 --> 00:09:18,763 Never before in history have the masses forgone all comfort 118 00:09:18,837 --> 00:09:21,533 so that the spirit of genius might thrive 119 00:09:21,607 --> 00:09:26,271 and seek the golden key to a new time of plenty 120 00:09:26,345 --> 00:09:29,712 in the fertile field of minority privilege. 121 00:09:29,782 --> 00:09:34,651 And now. my children. The drivers are ready. The world is waiting. 122 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:38,952 Once more, I give you what you want. 123 00:09:51,136 --> 00:09:55,505 Good morning, Americans. Once again the race is under way, 124 00:09:55,574 --> 00:09:58,702 with 12-hour pit stops scheduled at St Louis 125 00:09:58,777 --> 00:10:02,941 and Albuquerque, home of the American Indian Museum. 126 00:10:03,015 --> 00:10:07,315 At this very moment the cars are howling through the streets of Manhattan, 127 00:10:07,386 --> 00:10:10,787 but no points have been scored as yet. 128 00:10:10,856 --> 00:10:13,256 Take it away. Junior Bruce. 129 00:10:13,325 --> 00:10:15,418 They're at the Lincoln Tunnel. 130 00:10:15,494 --> 00:10:18,463 With Frankenstein and Joe running neck and neck. 131 00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:22,796 Then it's the Lion. Driven by... Passed by Calamity Jane in the Bull. 132 00:10:22,868 --> 00:10:25,029 Moving into third place. 133 00:11:29,134 --> 00:11:31,432 All right, and hey, hey, hey! 134 00:11:31,503 --> 00:11:36,202 The cars have split up, the drivers taking off on their favorite routes. 135 00:11:36,275 --> 00:11:39,108 Frankenstein's still out in front. Headed due west. 136 00:11:39,178 --> 00:11:43,012 With Nero the Hero on his tail hoping to pick up his leftovers. 137 00:11:43,082 --> 00:11:45,243 Calamity Jane's on a northwest tack. 138 00:11:45,317 --> 00:11:48,878 Matilda's Buzz Bomb is trying to catch up with Machine Gun Joe. 139 00:11:48,954 --> 00:11:50,922 Now streaking southwest. 140 00:11:50,989 --> 00:11:53,219 Once again - Mr. President. 141 00:11:53,292 --> 00:11:56,693 I have made the United Provinces of America 142 00:11:56,762 --> 00:11:59,560 the greatest power in the known universe. 143 00:11:59,631 --> 00:12:02,031 I have also given you 144 00:12:02,101 --> 00:12:06,595 the most popular sporting event in the history of mankind - 145 00:12:06,672 --> 00:12:09,004 the Transcontinental Road Race. 146 00:12:09,074 --> 00:12:11,406 Which upholds the American tradition 147 00:12:11,477 --> 00:12:14,037 of no holds barred! 148 00:12:14,113 --> 00:12:17,412 "No holds barred. " 149 00:12:17,483 --> 00:12:19,644 That's how he got to be president. 150 00:12:19,718 --> 00:12:22,084 Hypocrite pig! What about our ultimatum? 151 00:12:22,154 --> 00:12:24,384 He's been laughing us off for 15 years. 152 00:12:24,456 --> 00:12:26,924 Passive resistance means nothing to him. 153 00:12:26,992 --> 00:12:29,051 Pick up that flag, young man. 154 00:12:29,128 --> 00:12:30,595 It's time for action. 155 00:12:30,662 --> 00:12:32,926 It is not a time for violence. 156 00:12:32,998 --> 00:12:35,330 Mrs. Paine, I love Annie as much as you do. 157 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:40,201 But she's no match for Frankenstein, and we can't risk letting him get away. 158 00:12:40,272 --> 00:12:43,935 Frankenstein is the biggest target in the world and a friend of Mr. President. 159 00:12:44,009 --> 00:12:50,005 That, Lieutenant Fury, is exactly why they'll call off the race. To save his life. 160 00:12:50,182 --> 00:12:51,911 My granddaughter will succeed. 161 00:12:51,984 --> 00:12:54,077 Don't you ever take off that mask? 162 00:12:54,153 --> 00:12:57,384 No. Don't you know about my face? 163 00:12:57,456 --> 00:12:59,720 I've heard stories. 164 00:13:00,893 --> 00:13:03,191 Nobody's ever seen it, have they? 165 00:13:03,262 --> 00:13:05,492 Except my other navigators. 166 00:13:05,564 --> 00:13:08,761 And they're all dead. 167 00:13:08,834 --> 00:13:11,098 So they are. 168 00:13:13,405 --> 00:13:18,240 They say you lost most of your jaw in the crash of '92. 169 00:13:18,310 --> 00:13:21,143 And my right eye in '95, 170 00:13:21,213 --> 00:13:24,011 and my nose and my left eye in '97, 171 00:13:24,082 --> 00:13:26,380 and most of my cranium in '98. 172 00:13:26,451 --> 00:13:30,888 I'm held together with patches of plastic and steel plates. 173 00:13:30,956 --> 00:13:34,357 It's not a pretty sight. 174 00:13:34,426 --> 00:13:36,860 You wanna see? 175 00:13:36,929 --> 00:13:39,159 Why not? I've seen everything else. 176 00:13:39,231 --> 00:13:44,396 Remember, you're doing this on your own. I take no responsibility. 177 00:13:56,815 --> 00:14:00,546 What'd you expect? Another pretty face? 178 00:14:04,690 --> 00:14:07,955 - They really love you, Joe. - Yeah? 179 00:14:08,026 --> 00:14:12,087 Then how come they ain't down here on the road provin' it? 180 00:14:12,164 --> 00:14:15,998 Hey, you better make this left turn. You'll shave off about 2 miles that way. 181 00:14:16,068 --> 00:14:17,968 Yeah, all right. 182 00:14:37,756 --> 00:14:41,055 All right, all right and yes, siree! 183 00:14:41,126 --> 00:14:46,462 A clean hit! A perfect hit! And no pain for the target. 184 00:14:46,531 --> 00:14:48,795 Too bad the guy was only 38. 185 00:14:48,867 --> 00:14:52,200 Just two years older, he'd have been worth three times the points. 186 00:14:52,271 --> 00:14:54,398 But, for the second year in a row, 187 00:14:54,473 --> 00:14:59,069 Machine Gun Joe has splattered the scoreboard first. 188 00:14:59,144 --> 00:15:03,843 How'd you like that, huh? Get off on that one, Myra, baby? 189 00:15:05,317 --> 00:15:09,845 - What's the matter with this engine? - I don't know. Sounds fine to me. 190 00:15:09,922 --> 00:15:12,447 Amateurs. 191 00:15:12,524 --> 00:15:17,518 Get back there and retard the spark four... uh, three degrees. 192 00:15:59,705 --> 00:16:03,300 I'm glad to see you were able to find your way back. 193 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:11,072 As the cars roar into Pennsylvania. The cradle of liberty. 194 00:16:11,516 --> 00:16:15,850 It seems apparent that our citizens are staying off the streets. 195 00:16:15,921 --> 00:16:18,981 Which may make scoring particularly difficult. 196 00:16:19,057 --> 00:16:21,548 Even with this year's rule changes. 197 00:16:21,626 --> 00:16:24,857 To recap those revisions - 198 00:16:24,930 --> 00:16:30,596 women are still worth 10 points more than men in all age brackets. 199 00:16:30,669 --> 00:16:34,264 But teenagers now rack up 40 points. 200 00:16:34,339 --> 00:16:36,739 And toddlers under 12 201 00:16:36,808 --> 00:16:39,470 now rate a big 70 points. 202 00:16:39,544 --> 00:16:45,642 The big score - anyone. Any sex. Over 75 years old 203 00:16:45,717 --> 00:16:49,153 has been upped to 100 points. 204 00:16:49,221 --> 00:16:51,052 As always. 205 00:16:51,123 --> 00:16:56,117 How fast you move determines how long you live. 206 00:17:04,569 --> 00:17:06,400 Toro! 207 00:17:41,606 --> 00:17:44,973 A beautiful kill! A neat kill! 208 00:17:45,043 --> 00:17:48,171 No calamities for Jane today. No, sir. 209 00:17:48,246 --> 00:17:51,306 And you can bet she'll be getting both ears for that one. 210 00:18:04,629 --> 00:18:06,221 What is that? 211 00:18:06,298 --> 00:18:09,927 Euthanasia day at the geriatrics hospital. They do it every year. 212 00:18:10,001 --> 00:18:13,061 Here he comes! He's coming! 213 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:39,693 Frankenstein scores! Frankenstein scores at last! 214 00:18:39,764 --> 00:18:41,959 But what kind of a score, boys and girls? 215 00:18:42,033 --> 00:18:47,733 Just 110 points out of a possible big 700. What do you think about that, Gracie? 216 00:18:47,806 --> 00:18:52,766 Well, those doctors - dear friends of mine - 217 00:18:52,844 --> 00:18:56,245 have been pretty smug all these years, setting up the old folks. 218 00:18:56,314 --> 00:18:59,613 Frankenstein must have decided it was their turn. 219 00:18:59,684 --> 00:19:03,484 Which only goes to show that even the fearsome Frankenstein 220 00:19:03,555 --> 00:19:08,891 has a 100% red-blooded American sense of humor. 221 00:19:09,461 --> 00:19:13,898 Annie saved those old people! And she'll deliver Frankenstein. 222 00:19:13,965 --> 00:19:18,629 Meanwhile, innocent people are being slaughtered on our highways. 223 00:19:18,703 --> 00:19:22,605 They're like Christians being thrown to the gladiators. 224 00:19:22,674 --> 00:19:25,768 But just remember, the Christians won. 225 00:19:25,844 --> 00:19:27,243 Did they, Mrs. Paine? 226 00:19:27,312 --> 00:19:32,045 I take it from your attire that your sabotage operations are being carried out, 227 00:19:32,117 --> 00:19:35,211 despite my wishes? 228 00:19:35,287 --> 00:19:40,418 Mrs. Paine, we're set to hit 'em with everything we've got. 229 00:19:40,492 --> 00:19:43,052 Then. In the name of humanity. 230 00:19:43,128 --> 00:19:46,495 Let Operation Anti-Race begin. 231 00:19:54,539 --> 00:19:57,531 How in hell are we supposed to score in this graveyard? 232 00:19:57,609 --> 00:20:00,305 You're the navigator. That's your problem. 233 00:20:00,378 --> 00:20:03,814 And think of something soon, or else you're gonna be out on your ass. 234 00:20:03,882 --> 00:20:06,817 It isn't my fault everyone scored before us. 235 00:20:06,885 --> 00:20:09,513 You should have hit that boy scout camp like I told you. 236 00:20:09,588 --> 00:20:12,284 I tried the goddammed boy scout camp. 237 00:20:12,357 --> 00:20:15,349 You know how fast those boy scouts move? 238 00:20:16,895 --> 00:20:19,261 Now, here's something more your speed. 239 00:20:19,331 --> 00:20:22,061 Gotta be at least 200 points. 240 00:20:22,133 --> 00:20:24,397 If they scatter, go for the baby and the mother. 241 00:20:26,037 --> 00:20:29,029 Come on! Quick! Quick! 242 00:20:30,208 --> 00:20:32,768 Go for the baby! The baby! 243 00:20:32,844 --> 00:20:36,041 That's it. Come get baby. 244 00:20:36,114 --> 00:20:39,982 Bye-bye, baby. Hello, 70 points. 245 00:20:44,289 --> 00:20:46,450 Hey! I'm off the air! 246 00:20:46,524 --> 00:20:49,550 Would you please take your places? 247 00:20:49,628 --> 00:20:52,062 Put Grace on with an interview, right now. 248 00:20:52,130 --> 00:20:56,692 Hello, ladies. Isn't this just the most exciting race in years? 249 00:20:56,768 --> 00:20:59,066 I certainly think so. 250 00:20:59,137 --> 00:21:01,765 And guess what - I have a surprise for you. 251 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:08,177 Mrs. Rhonda Bainbridge, in person, on my show. 252 00:21:08,246 --> 00:21:12,876 The widow of Edward Bainbridge, whom, as we all know, 253 00:21:12,951 --> 00:21:17,786 was "Machine Gun" Joe Viterbo's first score. 254 00:21:17,856 --> 00:21:22,691 Welcome to my home. And may I call you Rhonda? 255 00:21:22,761 --> 00:21:24,524 Please do, Mrs. Pander. 256 00:21:24,596 --> 00:21:28,191 - Are we about ready here? - Yeah, just about. 257 00:21:28,266 --> 00:21:31,099 Listen, we have to go right away. 258 00:21:33,038 --> 00:21:36,599 As the widow of the race's first score. 259 00:21:36,675 --> 00:21:42,477 You have won a high-style two-room apartment in Acapulco! 260 00:21:42,547 --> 00:21:44,947 Start the jam! 261 00:21:58,063 --> 00:22:01,226 And next year you will be watching the race 262 00:22:01,299 --> 00:22:06,828 on a 50-inch three-dimensional octaphonic T-video set... 263 00:22:06,905 --> 00:22:09,703 Fellow oppressed Americans. 264 00:22:09,774 --> 00:22:13,710 The execution of the barbarian killer Nero the Hero 265 00:22:13,778 --> 00:22:16,246 is the people's first stroke 266 00:22:16,314 --> 00:22:22,344 against the evil and corrupt regime of Mr. President. 267 00:22:22,420 --> 00:22:24,581 I am Thomasina Paine, 268 00:22:24,656 --> 00:22:28,387 founder and commander of the army of the resistance. 269 00:22:28,460 --> 00:22:34,729 For 20 years. Americans have been told when to eat and when to sleep. 270 00:22:34,799 --> 00:22:37,962 When to love and when to hate. 271 00:22:38,436 --> 00:22:43,032 The age of obedience is over. 272 00:22:43,108 --> 00:22:48,944 In the names of George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Harry Truman, 273 00:22:49,447 --> 00:22:53,781 I call upon you to stand up for your inalienable rights. 274 00:22:54,419 --> 00:22:59,413 We declare war upon the Bipartisan Party, on Mr. President, 275 00:22:59,491 --> 00:23:05,157 and on that most inhuman desecration of life and liberty, 276 00:23:05,230 --> 00:23:08,825 the Transcontinental Road Rape. 277 00:23:08,900 --> 00:23:09,889 I thank you. 278 00:23:11,936 --> 00:23:15,633 - What the hell was that? - I have no information. 279 00:23:15,707 --> 00:23:18,938 - Is this race still on? - I have no information. 280 00:23:19,010 --> 00:23:20,875 - What do you think? - About what? 281 00:23:20,945 --> 00:23:23,209 About that speech. 282 00:23:23,281 --> 00:23:24,976 Adds spice to the race. 283 00:23:25,049 --> 00:23:27,882 "Spice"? They've killed Nero. 284 00:23:27,952 --> 00:23:29,749 That would have got more points for me. 285 00:23:29,821 --> 00:23:31,721 Don't you understand? 286 00:23:31,790 --> 00:23:35,385 They've declared war on the race and on you. Aren't you worried? 287 00:23:35,460 --> 00:23:38,827 The only thing that worries me is "Machine Gun" Joe Viterbo. 288 00:23:38,897 --> 00:23:41,263 Is winning all you care about? 289 00:23:41,332 --> 00:23:44,699 Yes. It's the only standard of excellence left. 290 00:23:48,873 --> 00:23:52,001 - Come on. Here they come. - It's not finished. 291 00:23:52,076 --> 00:23:54,067 Come on! 292 00:23:57,148 --> 00:23:59,673 Look at that stupid hole right in the middle. 293 00:23:59,751 --> 00:24:02,276 They won't get through there. 294 00:24:06,391 --> 00:24:07,688 Blitzkrieg! 295 00:24:07,759 --> 00:24:11,820 As the drivers converge from their routes and head for the first pit stop in St. Louis. 296 00:24:11,896 --> 00:24:14,865 Machine Gun Joe is still leading the field. 297 00:24:14,933 --> 00:24:18,061 With Frankenstein second. Calamity Jane third. 298 00:24:18,136 --> 00:24:20,331 Leaving Matilda the Hun in fourth position 299 00:24:20,405 --> 00:24:23,670 and Calamity Jane facing another calamity! 300 00:24:23,741 --> 00:24:27,905 Right now. Frankenstein's score points put him just ahead of Joe... 301 00:24:27,979 --> 00:24:33,007 Hey! Get off the rope. Jesus Chrysler, get off the rope! 302 00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:38,316 Hey, dummy, come on over and hold the ladder. 303 00:24:46,331 --> 00:24:48,458 This aggravates me. 304 00:24:48,533 --> 00:24:51,161 Where's the one that says "Welcome Joe Viterbo"? 305 00:24:51,236 --> 00:24:55,866 Score the son of a bitch, Joe. You need every point you can get. 306 00:24:59,244 --> 00:25:01,508 I only mashed him slightly. 307 00:25:01,579 --> 00:25:04,377 - Put him out of his misery, Joe. - Is that fair? 308 00:25:04,449 --> 00:25:06,883 - Yeah! - Hey. Should I let him go? 309 00:25:08,753 --> 00:25:10,948 Fair's always right. 310 00:25:59,370 --> 00:26:00,962 One thing before we begin. 311 00:26:01,039 --> 00:26:05,237 The government would like it if nobody said anything about Nero. Understand? 312 00:26:05,310 --> 00:26:08,370 He hit a tree, and that's it. Got it? 313 00:26:08,446 --> 00:26:11,006 - We don't wanna depress anybody by... - Hey, hey. 314 00:26:11,082 --> 00:26:14,574 Everybody knows he was blown up by the resistance, you schmuck. 315 00:26:14,652 --> 00:26:16,142 It was on television. 316 00:26:16,220 --> 00:26:21,055 If you wanna drive again next year, Mr. Viterbo, keep those opinions to yourself. 317 00:26:21,125 --> 00:26:22,285 OK. Go ahead. 318 00:26:22,360 --> 00:26:24,726 This is Grace Pander from St Louis, 319 00:26:24,796 --> 00:26:28,323 where Matilda - a dear friend of mine - 320 00:26:28,399 --> 00:26:31,493 is receiving a well-deserved rub down. 321 00:26:31,569 --> 00:26:33,264 Tell me, Tilly, darling, 322 00:26:33,338 --> 00:26:36,637 what can we expect from you when the cars go back on the road? 323 00:26:36,708 --> 00:26:38,938 You can expect a victory... 324 00:26:39,010 --> 00:26:41,205 by a member of the master race. 325 00:26:41,279 --> 00:26:42,769 A woman. 326 00:26:42,847 --> 00:26:45,907 Tilly, darling, that certainly is showing a lot of confidence 327 00:26:45,984 --> 00:26:48,714 for someone who's lying fourth out of four. 328 00:26:48,786 --> 00:26:51,186 She doesn't mind, as long as she's lying somewhere. 329 00:26:51,255 --> 00:26:54,122 When I'm through with you, you're gonna be lying in state. 330 00:26:54,192 --> 00:26:57,025 If anybody is going to boot hill, it's you and your Bizz Bang. 331 00:26:57,095 --> 00:26:58,460 - Buzz Bomb. - Shut up. 332 00:26:58,529 --> 00:27:01,225 You just leave my navigator alone. 333 00:27:01,299 --> 00:27:04,996 Girls, girls, girls. Remember you're on TV-land. 334 00:27:05,069 --> 00:27:07,537 Pete, how do you like being a navigator? 335 00:27:07,605 --> 00:27:13,544 Well, Junior, I'd like it more if I was in the driver's seat. 336 00:27:13,611 --> 00:27:15,670 You'll get what's coming to you on the road. 337 00:27:15,747 --> 00:27:16,839 Oh, yeah? 338 00:27:16,914 --> 00:27:21,044 What's coming to me is the final solution to the cowgirl problem. 339 00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:23,883 Frankenstein, when are you gonna make your move? 340 00:27:23,955 --> 00:27:26,480 Are you gonna take off-road chances for scores, 341 00:27:26,557 --> 00:27:30,687 or are you driving all-out to be first into New L. A? 342 00:27:30,762 --> 00:27:33,162 It's not about winning, it's how you play the game. 343 00:27:33,231 --> 00:27:35,893 Frankenstein - a dear friend of mine. 344 00:27:35,967 --> 00:27:40,961 Frankenstein, tell me how it feels when, at that electric instant, at 200 mph, 345 00:27:41,039 --> 00:27:44,770 life and death coexist at the moment of scoring. 346 00:27:44,842 --> 00:27:48,642 If you stand in the middle of Route 66 tomorrow morning at eight o'clock, 347 00:27:48,713 --> 00:27:51,238 you can answer that question for yourself. 348 00:28:04,495 --> 00:28:07,896 What are you doing? Get away from me. Joe will go nuts! 349 00:28:07,965 --> 00:28:12,959 Just tell him I was whispering sweet nothings in your ear. 350 00:28:19,210 --> 00:28:21,770 Well, Myra, what did Frankenstein have to say to you? 351 00:28:21,846 --> 00:28:24,041 H- h-h-he didn't say anything. He... 352 00:28:24,115 --> 00:28:25,446 - What'd he say? - Nothing... 353 00:28:25,516 --> 00:28:27,347 - What'd he say?! - Nothing! 354 00:28:27,418 --> 00:28:30,216 I'm not playing games, Myra. I wanna know what he said. 355 00:28:30,288 --> 00:28:34,918 He said there was nothing sweet in my ear. 356 00:28:34,992 --> 00:28:36,584 "In my ear. " 357 00:28:48,272 --> 00:28:51,241 What do you want? 358 00:28:51,309 --> 00:28:53,903 My name is Laurie, Mr. Frankenstein. 359 00:28:53,978 --> 00:28:57,436 I'm head of Chapter Seven, St Louis Lovers of Frankenstein. 360 00:28:57,515 --> 00:29:02,384 - I was chosen from over 100 girls... - To offer me your body? Is that it? 361 00:29:02,453 --> 00:29:05,718 You want me because I drive the Monster and wear this costume. 362 00:29:05,790 --> 00:29:09,954 No, Mr. Frankenstein. That wouldn't be fair to your navigator. 363 00:29:10,027 --> 00:29:12,962 It's taken her years of hard work to earn that privilege. 364 00:29:13,030 --> 00:29:16,295 Besides, we understand your feelings. 365 00:29:17,135 --> 00:29:20,832 What do you know of my feelings? 366 00:29:20,905 --> 00:29:23,396 Everything. Like... 367 00:29:23,474 --> 00:29:26,637 Like why you're afraid of falling in love. 368 00:29:26,711 --> 00:29:29,908 And why winning the race means everything to you. 369 00:29:29,981 --> 00:29:32,176 How do you know these things? 370 00:29:32,250 --> 00:29:34,912 From my dreams, partly. 371 00:29:34,986 --> 00:29:37,716 And from letters I get from other fans. 372 00:29:37,789 --> 00:29:40,883 Plus the club subscribes to an astrology service. 373 00:29:40,958 --> 00:29:44,485 Well, if you're not here to offer me your body, what do you want? 374 00:29:44,562 --> 00:29:49,465 I wanted to meet you, Mr. Frankenstein. I wanted you to know who I am. 375 00:29:49,534 --> 00:29:52,435 So it would have meaning. 376 00:29:52,503 --> 00:29:54,528 I don't understand. 377 00:29:54,605 --> 00:29:55,970 So what would have meaning? 378 00:29:56,040 --> 00:30:00,534 We love you, Mr. Frankenstein. I know just saying it doesn't mean much. 379 00:30:00,611 --> 00:30:03,637 Why do you love me? Because I kill people? 380 00:30:03,714 --> 00:30:08,242 Scoring isn't killing, Mr. Frankenstein. It's part of the race. 381 00:30:08,319 --> 00:30:13,723 You're a national hero, and we want you to know we're with you 100%. 382 00:30:14,592 --> 00:30:16,992 Good night, Mr. Frankenstein. 383 00:30:29,373 --> 00:30:31,568 I didn't hear you come in. 384 00:30:31,642 --> 00:30:35,442 Who were you expecting? Machine Gun Joe? 385 00:30:35,513 --> 00:30:39,040 I thought I could trust you. 386 00:30:39,116 --> 00:30:43,917 You really just don't wanna give me a chance, do you? 387 00:30:43,988 --> 00:30:46,923 I was trying to help you. 388 00:30:46,991 --> 00:30:50,358 I'm... sorry. 389 00:30:50,428 --> 00:30:52,419 You're what? 390 00:30:54,565 --> 00:30:56,556 Sorry. 391 00:30:58,002 --> 00:31:01,369 He wanted to know our route, so I told him to go down 54 392 00:31:01,439 --> 00:31:04,272 through the Cimarron Valley. 393 00:31:05,343 --> 00:31:10,212 54 is a dead end. Leads nowhere. 394 00:31:10,281 --> 00:31:15,617 That's right. And if Joe takes it, he's sunk. 395 00:31:15,686 --> 00:31:19,645 The only way Joe will take that road is if he sees us do it first. 396 00:31:19,724 --> 00:31:21,749 Or if he's ahead of us. 397 00:31:23,561 --> 00:31:27,691 - Is that the arm that came off in '98? - Mm-hm. 398 00:31:27,765 --> 00:31:29,892 And... 399 00:31:29,967 --> 00:31:34,927 which one of those obviously perfect legs was it that came off in '99? 400 00:31:35,506 --> 00:31:36,564 The right. 401 00:31:36,641 --> 00:31:41,169 And the left one was just broken in six places and burned down to the bone. 402 00:31:41,245 --> 00:31:43,645 - Is that right? - Mm-hm. 403 00:31:44,649 --> 00:31:47,516 It's a miracle you can still walk. 404 00:31:49,820 --> 00:31:53,187 Do you like to dance? 405 00:32:47,144 --> 00:32:51,444 Those Swiss mechanics sure did a good job on you. 406 00:32:51,515 --> 00:32:56,452 What else did they replace? 407 00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:58,545 Wait a minute... 408 00:32:58,622 --> 00:33:00,954 and I'll show you. 409 00:33:08,899 --> 00:33:13,836 O Mr. President, bless thy children and make them strong. 410 00:33:13,904 --> 00:33:18,739 Bless thy daughters Matilda and Jane, and thy son Joe. 411 00:33:18,809 --> 00:33:23,542 And bless thy beloved son, the immortal Frankenstein, 412 00:33:23,614 --> 00:33:27,072 who has given so much pleasure to so many. 413 00:33:27,151 --> 00:33:31,144 The hell with Frankenstein. What about Joe Viterbo? 414 00:33:40,064 --> 00:33:42,259 The flag is down and they're away, 415 00:33:42,333 --> 00:33:45,029 with Machine Gun Joe blasting into the lead 416 00:33:45,102 --> 00:33:49,596 on this second lap of the great Transcontinental Road Race. 417 00:33:49,673 --> 00:33:53,040 Frankenstein is making a left turn, splitting early from the pack. 418 00:33:53,110 --> 00:33:55,374 Look out, all you folks just south of here. 419 00:33:55,446 --> 00:33:58,347 Gee, Joe, there's nobody even close behind us. 420 00:33:58,416 --> 00:33:59,246 Shh. 421 00:33:59,316 --> 00:34:01,341 Where's he going? What's he doing? 422 00:34:01,419 --> 00:34:04,911 - Hey, where are we going? - I dropped my glove. 423 00:34:06,323 --> 00:34:09,759 Let not the ruin of thy robes destruct the tires... 424 00:34:10,728 --> 00:34:12,719 Jesus Chrysler! 425 00:34:13,697 --> 00:34:16,393 Ladies and gentlemen, by a bizarre accident 426 00:34:16,467 --> 00:34:19,459 Frankenstein has killed our cherished colleague 427 00:34:19,537 --> 00:34:21,300 the deacon of the Bipartisan Party. 428 00:34:21,372 --> 00:34:24,068 I think you did that on purpose. 429 00:34:24,141 --> 00:34:27,338 Have to give the fans something to talk about. 430 00:34:27,411 --> 00:34:29,902 It's my obligation as a national hero. 431 00:34:29,980 --> 00:34:33,973 Frankenstein's score is now... Does that score count, Harold? 432 00:34:34,051 --> 00:34:39,455 An interesting point, Junior, and one that may set a significant precedent. 433 00:34:39,523 --> 00:34:42,253 Can a racer score a race official? 434 00:34:42,326 --> 00:34:45,352 Ooh, and after all those nice things he said about him. 435 00:34:45,429 --> 00:34:50,492 It don't matter. It don't count. You can't score religious personalities. 436 00:34:50,568 --> 00:34:56,666 The word "deacon" has been handed down to us from the ancient... the, uh... 437 00:34:56,740 --> 00:35:00,403 Frankenstein's score has been approved for 50 points. 438 00:35:00,478 --> 00:35:05,313 The confirmation has just been handed to me. You know what that means, Junior? 439 00:35:05,382 --> 00:35:09,978 That means that the race officials from coast to coast will be falling like flies. 440 00:35:10,054 --> 00:35:14,047 - Frankenstein! Agh! I hate him. I hate him. - Oh, sh... 441 00:35:15,159 --> 00:35:16,990 You're salivating. 442 00:36:00,604 --> 00:36:03,539 Oh, my... Why did she do that? 443 00:36:04,708 --> 00:36:06,699 To show me she loves me. 444 00:36:12,349 --> 00:36:15,011 Here they come. Let's get set. 445 00:36:27,198 --> 00:36:29,723 Chicken game. 446 00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:33,292 - Chicken in a basket. - Chicken in a casket. 447 00:36:41,946 --> 00:36:43,777 Oh, shit! 448 00:36:55,125 --> 00:36:57,491 Yeah, hey. Who got the last laugh now, huh? 449 00:37:05,102 --> 00:37:08,003 - The turnoff, it's coming up. - Should I take it? 450 00:37:08,072 --> 00:37:10,666 - Who gives a goddamn shit? - Should I? 451 00:37:10,741 --> 00:37:13,904 She says I should, so I should, right? Or should I? I don't know. 452 00:37:13,978 --> 00:37:17,209 I don't think you should. I think it's definitely a trick. 453 00:37:17,281 --> 00:37:20,739 I'll do it. I won't do it. I'd be a schmuck to do it. 454 00:37:23,053 --> 00:37:25,681 I did it and I'm no schmuck! 455 00:37:25,756 --> 00:37:29,123 - That's your story. - That's right. That's right. 456 00:37:29,193 --> 00:37:33,129 And I see you mess with Frankenstein again, I'm really gonna bust your eye. 457 00:37:33,197 --> 00:37:35,131 What do you mean, "really"? 458 00:37:43,874 --> 00:37:48,777 I have an almost unlimited score possibility, but it's pretty far down the road. 459 00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:51,880 District penitents' compound. 460 00:37:51,949 --> 00:37:56,010 All those old congressmen chained up. They'd be like sitting ducks. 461 00:37:56,086 --> 00:38:00,022 Yeah, and all I gotta do is drive through a cyclone fence. Uh-uh. 462 00:38:00,090 --> 00:38:04,026 Look, the farther west we go, the fewer targets there'll be. 463 00:38:04,094 --> 00:38:05,493 Hey, come on. 464 00:38:05,562 --> 00:38:08,998 Joe's already on his way to a dead end, and the other two... 465 00:38:12,136 --> 00:38:14,127 OK. 466 00:38:16,140 --> 00:38:18,836 Take the next right. 467 00:38:19,310 --> 00:38:23,406 Now, as soon as the car gets within range, I shall give the signal. 468 00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:27,849 We'll have just under a minute after they reach the turnoff. Lieutenant Fury... 469 00:38:27,918 --> 00:38:31,820 Lieutenant Fury has nothing whatever to do with this. 470 00:38:31,889 --> 00:38:34,483 I want none of his surprises here. 471 00:38:34,558 --> 00:38:37,857 I could stand for a surprise. Like if your Frankenstein didn't show up. 472 00:38:37,928 --> 00:38:40,396 Don't worry. He'll show. 473 00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:46,398 What's our estimated time of arrival in Albuquerque? 474 00:38:46,470 --> 00:38:50,372 Well, I'm not sure. I mean, this detour is gonna make a difference. 475 00:38:50,441 --> 00:38:52,466 Haven't you calculated our time of arrival? 476 00:38:52,543 --> 00:38:55,171 I did, but I couldn't take into consideration... 477 00:38:55,245 --> 00:38:59,079 - Take what into consideration? - Frankenstein! Stop the car! 478 00:38:59,149 --> 00:39:01,276 Hold on. 479 00:39:03,754 --> 00:39:07,383 - What the hell? - Don't stop now. What are you doing? 480 00:39:07,458 --> 00:39:09,585 What are they doing? 481 00:39:13,297 --> 00:39:15,595 Sorry, brother. 482 00:39:26,143 --> 00:39:30,011 If that's the best the resistance can do, we got nothing to worry about. 483 00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:31,377 I guess not. 484 00:39:31,448 --> 00:39:33,211 One thing I can't figure out 485 00:39:33,283 --> 00:39:36,775 is why would they bother to dress that guy up to look like me? 486 00:39:36,854 --> 00:39:38,583 Maybe he was a fan. 487 00:39:42,326 --> 00:39:48,231 Who built this stinkin' road? If I ever get my hands on him, I'll rip his heart out. 488 00:39:48,298 --> 00:39:51,563 I mean it! I'm sick of this race and I'm sick of you! 489 00:39:56,707 --> 00:40:00,404 I guess it must have been Joe that set us up for that ambush, don't you think? 490 00:40:00,477 --> 00:40:03,446 Got in touch with those guys and told them where we were going? 491 00:40:03,514 --> 00:40:06,005 I guess it might have been. 492 00:40:06,083 --> 00:40:09,541 But then how the hell did Joe know we were gonna take a detour? 493 00:40:09,620 --> 00:40:12,555 Maybe it was those guys on the pit crew in St. Louis. 494 00:40:12,623 --> 00:40:15,854 Took your book out of the car while you were getting massaged. 495 00:40:15,926 --> 00:40:18,554 I didn't leave my book in the car. 496 00:40:18,629 --> 00:40:20,620 - You didn't, huh? - No. 497 00:40:21,999 --> 00:40:24,832 Well, then, I guess it couldn't have been them. 498 00:40:24,902 --> 00:40:28,065 - Who do you think it was? - I have no idea. 499 00:40:28,138 --> 00:40:30,106 Why do you care? They didn't get you. 500 00:40:30,174 --> 00:40:35,134 Us. They didn't get us. We're a team, remember? 501 00:40:44,955 --> 00:40:49,289 Come on over to my side. You're gonna drive for a while. 502 00:40:49,359 --> 00:40:51,190 Why? I'm not trained as a driver. 503 00:40:51,261 --> 00:40:54,697 Never mind why. Just do as I tell you. 504 00:41:03,941 --> 00:41:06,705 I'm counting on you to make a nice big score for us. 505 00:41:06,777 --> 00:41:09,644 Sure. 506 00:41:09,713 --> 00:41:11,874 Anything special in mind? 507 00:41:11,949 --> 00:41:14,281 Something'll turn up. 508 00:41:14,351 --> 00:41:16,080 I'm sure that it will. 509 00:41:31,201 --> 00:41:34,136 Jesus H Christ! I'll kill that broad! 510 00:41:34,204 --> 00:41:37,332 - What did I do? - Shut your face. 511 00:41:38,408 --> 00:41:40,842 Cornball, what's the fastest way through here? 512 00:41:40,911 --> 00:41:45,245 Well, um... actually, the only way we do it is we get a bulldozer 513 00:41:45,315 --> 00:41:47,806 and we trim this edge down here and we drive through. 514 00:41:47,885 --> 00:41:50,410 No, what's the best way between here and Albuquerque? 515 00:41:50,487 --> 00:41:53,684 - You got to go back to the main highway. - I'll lose 45 minutes! 516 00:41:53,757 --> 00:41:57,523 I've seen you before. I'm one of your greatest fans, you know that? 517 00:41:57,594 --> 00:42:02,190 I follow all of the races. I got pictures of you all over the outhouse. 518 00:42:02,266 --> 00:42:05,463 I named my favorite dog after you, Mr. Frankenstein. I did. 519 00:42:05,536 --> 00:42:09,632 Lousy stinkin' dirt ball. You got two seconds to live. 520 00:42:49,980 --> 00:42:53,040 Come on, Pete, honey. You gonna take all day with that? 521 00:42:53,116 --> 00:42:56,643 I wanna get on the road, make a few more scores. My blood lust is fading. 522 00:42:56,720 --> 00:43:00,781 Almost finished, Calamity, sweetheart. We'll be back on the road in no time, 523 00:43:00,857 --> 00:43:03,155 then we'll cream that Nazi's ass for her. 524 00:43:03,226 --> 00:43:04,591 What'd you say? I... 525 00:43:04,661 --> 00:43:06,185 Blitzkrieg! 526 00:43:08,298 --> 00:43:11,290 You lousy bitch! I'll kill you for that! 527 00:43:11,368 --> 00:43:14,997 Nobody scores my navigator and gets away with it. 528 00:43:32,122 --> 00:43:33,111 Uh-oh. 529 00:43:33,190 --> 00:43:36,091 Here she comes. And boy, is she pissed. 530 00:43:36,159 --> 00:43:39,322 What does she expect? You leave your navigator lying around, 531 00:43:39,396 --> 00:43:42,627 naturally somebody's gonna run over him. 532 00:44:24,441 --> 00:44:27,410 She's gaining on us, momma, and she's got murder on her mind. 533 00:44:27,477 --> 00:44:31,038 Schnell. Meine kleine Buzz Bomb. 534 00:45:00,177 --> 00:45:03,772 - That's good. - All right, on three. One, two, three. 535 00:45:05,549 --> 00:45:08,109 Support it. Easy. Steady as she goes. 536 00:45:20,831 --> 00:45:22,321 Here they come! 537 00:45:27,204 --> 00:45:30,139 A detour. I really needed that right now. 538 00:45:59,636 --> 00:46:01,331 Holy shit. 539 00:46:01,404 --> 00:46:05,636 A special bulletin. There's been an accident. An explosion. 540 00:46:05,709 --> 00:46:10,043 It looks like Matilda has been blown totally... 541 00:46:13,049 --> 00:46:18,954 Correction. Matilda has made an impressive score. Stand by. 542 00:46:23,193 --> 00:46:28,187 Don't you wanna take over now? I'm afraid I'm making us lose an awful lot of time. 543 00:46:28,265 --> 00:46:31,462 You're doing just fine. 544 00:46:40,844 --> 00:46:44,371 - Looks like an easy score. - Yeah. Yeah, it does. 545 00:46:44,447 --> 00:46:46,472 It's always best to start small. 546 00:46:55,759 --> 00:46:59,195 - I missed him. - It takes some practice. 547 00:46:59,262 --> 00:47:03,631 - Before it comes easy? - It never comes easy. 548 00:47:03,700 --> 00:47:06,328 Keep your eyes on the road. 549 00:47:08,004 --> 00:47:12,031 How far is it to the penitents' compound? 550 00:47:12,108 --> 00:47:14,770 Oh, maybe 20 miles. 551 00:47:17,013 --> 00:47:19,345 Stop the car. 552 00:47:27,457 --> 00:47:29,220 Get out. 553 00:47:29,292 --> 00:47:31,283 Out. 554 00:47:37,601 --> 00:47:39,364 Come to the other side. 555 00:47:39,436 --> 00:47:41,597 Around the front. 556 00:47:54,284 --> 00:47:57,219 Where is the penitents' compound? 557 00:47:58,955 --> 00:48:01,219 It's in Japan. 558 00:48:04,995 --> 00:48:06,394 Get in. 559 00:48:15,772 --> 00:48:20,607 I could just push you out of this car and pick up a quick 30 points. 560 00:48:20,677 --> 00:48:23,145 Who are you? Who are you working for? 561 00:48:23,213 --> 00:48:26,011 I'm Thomasina Paine's granddaughter. 562 00:48:27,350 --> 00:48:29,682 I'm honored. 563 00:48:30,887 --> 00:48:34,914 So you were gonna capture me and replace me with that goon back there. 564 00:48:34,991 --> 00:48:37,357 What for? 565 00:48:37,427 --> 00:48:41,488 He was going to deliver our ultimatum to Mr. President. 566 00:48:41,564 --> 00:48:45,500 Your life in exchange for the permanent abolition of the race. 567 00:49:15,498 --> 00:49:19,696 She was a great. Dear friend of mine. 568 00:49:19,769 --> 00:49:25,036 And I shall remember her forever. Howling down that freeway in the sky. 569 00:49:25,108 --> 00:49:28,441 Knocking over the angels. 570 00:49:29,446 --> 00:49:35,476 The valiant Hun's demise was in fact caused by enemies of the people. 571 00:49:35,552 --> 00:49:41,047 There will be a special broadcast by Mr. President at 1900 hours. 572 00:49:41,124 --> 00:49:47,723 Stay tuned to find out how you can help Mr. President preserve our way of life... 573 00:49:47,797 --> 00:49:50,322 Calamity, turn off the television. 574 00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:53,426 Hey, you guys wanna stop playing that song, please? 575 00:49:53,503 --> 00:49:58,566 Look, this is a race, a sporting event, not a daredevil stunt. I want some protection. 576 00:49:58,641 --> 00:50:01,405 You should have given us an escort after Nero got it. 577 00:50:01,478 --> 00:50:03,912 Joe would score the escort, wouldn't you, baby? 578 00:50:03,980 --> 00:50:08,144 You wanna zip your lip, Myra? Huh? Now, are you going to cover me or not? 579 00:50:08,218 --> 00:50:12,382 Look, Mr. Viterbo, if you're afraid to go on with the race, why don't you quit? 580 00:50:12,455 --> 00:50:13,979 You're calling me a turkey? 581 00:50:14,057 --> 00:50:17,049 If you ask me, you're all making excuses for poor driving. 582 00:50:17,127 --> 00:50:21,461 Poor driving?! Listen, honey. Matilda the Hun was a champion driver. 583 00:50:21,531 --> 00:50:24,557 Nobody could've scored my navigator and gotten away with it. 584 00:50:24,634 --> 00:50:26,568 And he's talking about poor driving! 585 00:50:26,636 --> 00:50:30,732 I'd like to see you do it. I've been driving for ten years. Nobody talks to me like this. 586 00:50:30,807 --> 00:50:33,173 - This stinks. - It's all on account of the rebels. 587 00:50:33,243 --> 00:50:38,044 Who mentioned anything about rebels? There are no rebels. Understand? 588 00:50:38,114 --> 00:50:41,083 Then who was that old lady on the television? 589 00:50:41,151 --> 00:50:43,278 Thomasina Paine. She's a harmless lunatic. 590 00:50:43,353 --> 00:50:48,347 Would you please come outside, sir? We like to ask you a few questions. 591 00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:52,993 - Come on, Annie. - Alone, if you don't mind. 592 00:50:53,063 --> 00:50:57,727 Mr. President will explain those accidents during his address to the nation. 593 00:50:57,801 --> 00:51:00,599 - How did she jam the networks? - And bump off our friends? 594 00:51:00,670 --> 00:51:04,629 She didn't bump off anybody. She walked into a television station waving a gun, 595 00:51:04,707 --> 00:51:08,768 forced them to put her on the air. We've taken her back to the asylum. That's it. 596 00:51:08,845 --> 00:51:11,507 - I got just two words to say about that. - Oh? 597 00:51:11,581 --> 00:51:13,048 Bull shit! 598 00:51:13,116 --> 00:51:14,879 Excuse me. 599 00:51:15,785 --> 00:51:18,515 Hey! I told you to stop playing that song! 600 00:51:19,289 --> 00:51:24,090 You forget, Joe, that I'm a representative of Mr. President's government. 601 00:51:24,160 --> 00:51:27,129 I happen to hold the power of life and death. 602 00:51:27,197 --> 00:51:30,360 Yeah? Well, I happen to hold the clam sauce. 603 00:51:31,234 --> 00:51:35,762 Look out, Viterbo. You may be the second biggest clown in this circus, 604 00:51:35,839 --> 00:51:38,603 but if I want you dead, you're dead. 605 00:51:38,675 --> 00:51:41,371 - Second biggest? - Sit down and eat! 606 00:51:46,783 --> 00:51:48,978 I told you to stop playing that music! 607 00:51:49,786 --> 00:51:53,449 Were they armed, or did they expect the fire to be enough to stop you? 608 00:51:53,523 --> 00:51:58,790 I don't know what they expected. We just ran through it all and kept going. 609 00:51:58,862 --> 00:52:00,887 One more question, Mr. Frankenstein. 610 00:52:02,665 --> 00:52:05,463 Did you take that particular road on your own initiative, 611 00:52:05,535 --> 00:52:08,163 or on the advice of your navigator? 612 00:52:10,340 --> 00:52:12,069 On my own initiative. 613 00:52:12,142 --> 00:52:15,543 Thank you, Mr. Frankenstein. That will be all. 614 00:52:17,213 --> 00:52:21,843 There has been a lot of talk about American rebels. 615 00:52:21,918 --> 00:52:23,909 We have positive proof 616 00:52:23,987 --> 00:52:27,252 that it was none other than the treacherous French 617 00:52:27,323 --> 00:52:30,884 who have been sabotaging our great race. 618 00:52:30,960 --> 00:52:35,158 Just as they and their stinking European allies 619 00:52:35,231 --> 00:52:40,498 have undermined and destroyed our great national economy. 620 00:52:40,570 --> 00:52:42,970 It is no coincidence. My dear children. 621 00:52:43,039 --> 00:52:47,305 That the word "sabotage" was invented by the French. 622 00:52:47,377 --> 00:52:49,845 - Where's Annie? - I don't know. 623 00:52:49,913 --> 00:52:51,471 Hey, did you hear the news? 624 00:52:51,548 --> 00:52:55,985 Mr. President said it was the French who knocked off Nero and Matilda. 625 00:52:56,052 --> 00:52:58,646 Watch out for the cr�pe suzettes. 626 00:52:58,721 --> 00:53:02,282 ... "Machine Gun" Joe Viterbo and Frankenstein. 627 00:53:02,358 --> 00:53:07,921 As they begin the last lap of their long and difficult journey 628 00:53:07,997 --> 00:53:10,989 toward New Los Angeles. 629 00:53:15,071 --> 00:53:18,040 Drop your keys? 630 00:53:18,107 --> 00:53:20,837 I was just looking for something I lost. 631 00:53:20,910 --> 00:53:22,207 The race? 632 00:53:22,278 --> 00:53:24,473 Look, Joe... 633 00:53:24,547 --> 00:53:27,482 I threw you off course, OK? 634 00:53:27,550 --> 00:53:29,677 All's fair in love and war. 635 00:53:29,752 --> 00:53:33,711 I'm glad to hear you say that, Annie, because what we got goin' here 636 00:53:33,790 --> 00:53:35,849 definitely ain't love. 637 00:53:35,925 --> 00:53:38,917 Well, then, why don't we just forget about it? 638 00:53:39,562 --> 00:53:43,362 You know, Annie, it's too bad things ain't like they were in the old days, 639 00:53:43,433 --> 00:53:48,894 when we'd just take somebody in an alley and blow their brains out. You know? 640 00:53:48,972 --> 00:53:51,600 - Joe, please. - Go ahead and scream, Annie. 641 00:53:51,674 --> 00:53:55,610 - You're hurting me, Joe. - There's nobody to hear you. 642 00:53:55,678 --> 00:53:57,737 Huh? 643 00:54:00,817 --> 00:54:05,345 How does it feel to know you're gonna spend the rest of your life in pain? 644 00:54:05,421 --> 00:54:09,619 The rest of your life is about a minute and a half. 645 00:54:11,060 --> 00:54:16,123 Frankie. Glad you came. I caught your navigator screwin' around with the car, 646 00:54:16,199 --> 00:54:20,192 so I thought I'd come down and have a look at what was going on. 647 00:54:20,270 --> 00:54:21,862 Hey, come on, Frank... 648 00:55:43,553 --> 00:55:45,487 Upstairs. 649 00:55:45,555 --> 00:55:48,615 So much for a fair fight. 650 00:55:48,691 --> 00:55:52,855 Next chance I get, you're dead. 651 00:55:59,502 --> 00:56:04,906 What were you doing? Getting more secret instructions from the lunatic fringe? 652 00:56:09,379 --> 00:56:12,177 Why don't you just turn me in and get it over with? 653 00:56:12,248 --> 00:56:15,684 No need to. 654 00:56:15,752 --> 00:56:18,949 You've blown your cover. You're no threat to me. 655 00:56:19,021 --> 00:56:22,650 Anyway, you're not someone I would throw away. 656 00:56:22,725 --> 00:56:26,627 - I have a job to do. - Your job is a waste of time. 657 00:56:26,696 --> 00:56:28,926 The world doesn't wanna be saved. 658 00:56:28,998 --> 00:56:32,764 I'm giving you a chance to save one small part of it. 659 00:56:32,835 --> 00:56:34,962 Yourself. 660 00:56:35,037 --> 00:56:38,268 Who are you anyway? 661 00:56:38,341 --> 00:56:40,707 Nobody. 662 00:56:40,777 --> 00:56:43,712 I was brought up in a government training centre to be what I am - 663 00:56:43,780 --> 00:56:48,740 Frankenstein, the best driver on earth. This year. 664 00:56:48,818 --> 00:56:52,185 They use one up, they bring in another. 665 00:56:52,255 --> 00:56:56,749 - But I will be the last of the line. - Oh, who's kidding who? 666 00:56:59,762 --> 00:57:02,026 I never kid. 667 00:57:26,823 --> 00:57:29,257 Why don't you ever take off that glove? 668 00:57:29,325 --> 00:57:31,589 What's underneath it? 669 00:57:31,661 --> 00:57:34,721 It's my secret. 670 00:57:34,797 --> 00:57:37,732 You and the Swiss doctors again? 671 00:57:37,800 --> 00:57:40,826 There are no Swiss doctors. 672 00:57:40,903 --> 00:57:46,307 Just native... American... know-how. 673 00:58:06,896 --> 00:58:08,864 - Have you checked the oil? - Yes. 674 00:58:08,931 --> 00:58:11,593 - Have you checked the hydraulics? - An hour ago. 675 00:58:11,667 --> 00:58:15,159 - Brakes? Tires? Water? - Yeah, they're OK. Everything's OK. 676 00:58:15,238 --> 00:58:20,073 Don't worry. I'm not going to do anything to sabotage the car. 677 00:58:22,245 --> 00:58:23,644 You get a load of that face? 678 00:58:23,713 --> 00:58:26,580 I wonder if somebody got points for that eye. 679 00:58:28,050 --> 00:58:32,714 Listen, Frankenstein, there's just you, me and Joe left in the race, and... 680 00:58:32,788 --> 00:58:36,690 Well, I just want you to know that whoever wins and whatever happens, 681 00:58:36,759 --> 00:58:40,354 it's been really grand racin' with you folks. 682 00:58:40,429 --> 00:58:43,262 I also wanna say that I think you make a real nice couple. 683 00:58:43,332 --> 00:58:46,324 - Thank you, Jane. - Good luck. 684 00:58:53,643 --> 00:58:56,043 Joe, Myra, 685 00:58:56,112 --> 00:58:58,774 I just wanna say, whatever happens, whoever wins... 686 00:58:58,848 --> 00:59:01,316 Hey, save it for the French. 687 00:59:03,653 --> 00:59:08,215 The cars have started, lined up, and are ready to roll on the last lap. 688 00:59:08,291 --> 00:59:11,055 They're off! Frankenstein... Holy Chrysler! 689 00:59:11,127 --> 00:59:13,789 Joe has just scored his own pit crew! 690 00:59:13,863 --> 00:59:18,425 You lousy sons of bitches! That'll teach you! 691 00:59:18,901 --> 00:59:22,837 "Machine Gun" Joe Viterbo, that funny man from Chicago, 692 00:59:22,905 --> 00:59:26,466 has scored his own mechanics for 40 points, 693 00:59:26,542 --> 00:59:30,638 and is off to catch Calamity Jane and Frankenstein. 694 00:59:39,055 --> 00:59:42,218 Screw you, Joe Viterbo, and your mother! 695 00:59:42,291 --> 00:59:46,227 We'll see who gets to New L.A. First, with the highest score too. 696 00:59:46,295 --> 00:59:48,661 It's coming up on the left. 697 00:59:48,731 --> 00:59:51,962 Forget it. I'm keeping Frankie in my sights. 698 00:59:52,034 --> 00:59:55,197 He's got five minutes on us, and he's stretching it. 699 00:59:55,271 --> 00:59:58,604 So what? If there's trouble up ahead, he'll find it first. 700 00:59:58,674 --> 01:00:03,976 Oh, yeah. Take a look at your face. You'll find it first. 701 01:00:05,047 --> 01:00:07,982 You know, Myra, some people might think you're cute. 702 01:00:08,050 --> 01:00:11,918 But me, I think you're one very large baked potato. 703 01:00:11,988 --> 01:00:15,424 Roaring down Motorway 66 towards California, 704 01:00:15,491 --> 01:00:18,460 Frankenstein looks certain to be first across the line. 705 01:00:18,527 --> 01:00:22,861 But Machine Gun Joe is still way ahead on points, 706 01:00:22,932 --> 01:00:27,198 and he could win the race even by arriving second in New Los Angeles. 707 01:00:27,269 --> 01:00:30,397 What's your prediction, Grace? 708 01:00:30,473 --> 01:00:36,070 You know, Junior, when Machine Gun Joe was just a little boy in Chicago, 709 01:00:36,145 --> 01:00:40,878 he had a pet snake that he used to love to ride over with his tricycle. 710 01:02:32,728 --> 01:02:37,825 - Break out the thermos of hi-pro drink. - Coming right up. 711 01:03:01,657 --> 01:03:05,923 - Here. I didn't mean to hog it all. - Thanks. What flavor is it? 712 01:03:05,995 --> 01:03:09,294 - Vanilla. - Hm. Not my favorite. 713 01:03:13,769 --> 01:03:16,761 This isn't vanilla. It's peach or something. 714 01:03:16,839 --> 01:03:21,003 Yeah, well, my taste buds got wiped out in the crash of '97. 715 01:03:21,076 --> 01:03:25,877 It's a good thing mine that are still intact. At least the French can't poison us. 716 01:03:29,852 --> 01:03:32,218 What's Frankenstein's location now? 717 01:03:32,288 --> 01:03:37,089 He's about 50 miles out, Lieutenant, and coming fast. 718 01:03:40,296 --> 01:03:44,357 Goodbye, Mrs. Paine. When you see me again, Frankenstein will be my prisoner 719 01:03:44,433 --> 01:03:47,095 and the country will know we must be taken seriously. 720 01:03:47,169 --> 01:03:51,162 - Fury, wait. I'm coming with you. - No, Mrs. Paine, it's too dangerous. 721 01:03:51,240 --> 01:03:53,970 Nonsense. I've waited 20 years for this moment. 722 01:03:54,043 --> 01:03:56,034 I know I can't join you on the mission, 723 01:03:56,111 --> 01:03:59,672 but I want to see you pull it off with my own eyes. 724 01:04:01,283 --> 01:04:05,686 Couple of turnoffs coming up. What's the quickest way to New L. A? 725 01:04:05,754 --> 01:04:10,123 - That's funny. - What? 726 01:04:10,192 --> 01:04:13,559 I can't... I can't seem to focus my eyes on the map. 727 01:04:13,629 --> 01:04:18,066 I think we stay on 7... I feel like I'm gonna pass out. 728 01:04:19,101 --> 01:04:21,262 Look at that. 729 01:04:23,973 --> 01:04:27,739 - It's them, isn't it? - Please... please, stop the car. 730 01:04:27,810 --> 01:04:30,643 Sorry. We're in a race. 731 01:04:39,855 --> 01:04:44,292 Frankenstein, stop right now. We wanna talk to you. 732 01:04:45,194 --> 01:04:48,755 Stop before I force you to. 733 01:05:00,542 --> 01:05:03,511 I'll bomb you to a halt if I have to. 734 01:05:15,791 --> 01:05:19,420 Annie, help me. Turn off the engine. 735 01:05:20,829 --> 01:05:25,027 Annie's dead, Mrs. Paine. He must have killed her. 736 01:05:26,201 --> 01:05:28,726 Now I'm really going to let him have it. 737 01:05:38,113 --> 01:05:41,605 Look at that. The rebels are sure giving it to Frankenstein. 738 01:05:41,684 --> 01:05:46,178 Thank you, rebels. Mary, I think we got this race won. 739 01:05:46,255 --> 01:05:48,985 - Aren't we gonna help him? - Are you nuts or something? 740 01:05:49,058 --> 01:05:54,826 I'm getting my ass out of here before they make an emergency landing. Sit down. 741 01:05:54,897 --> 01:05:56,888 Attagirl. 742 01:07:49,011 --> 01:07:51,104 Well, America, there you have it. 743 01:07:51,180 --> 01:07:55,014 Frankenstein has just been attacked by the French air force, 744 01:07:55,084 --> 01:07:57,518 and he's whipped their derri�res. 745 01:07:57,586 --> 01:08:01,147 His point total for this one'll be something astronomical. 746 01:08:01,223 --> 01:08:03,657 Machine Gun Joe better watch out. 747 01:08:10,065 --> 01:08:13,091 - Right on schedule. - Hey, what happened? 748 01:08:13,168 --> 01:08:15,398 I slipped you a 30-minute sleepex. 749 01:08:15,471 --> 01:08:18,406 Didn't want you doing something we would both regret. 750 01:08:18,474 --> 01:08:19,668 Did they attack us? 751 01:08:19,741 --> 01:08:23,074 According to the radio, we were attacked by the French air force. 752 01:08:23,145 --> 01:08:25,409 Was the plane shot down? 753 01:08:25,481 --> 01:08:28,678 Even those Swiss doctors couldn't have helped them. 754 01:08:28,750 --> 01:08:33,778 I'm sorry. I know they were your people. But I can't let anything stop me now. 755 01:08:33,856 --> 01:08:36,324 They didn't expect you to give up easily. 756 01:08:36,391 --> 01:08:39,690 They were prepared for whatever happened. 757 01:08:39,761 --> 01:08:41,524 Oh, my God, you've been hit! 758 01:08:41,597 --> 01:08:43,963 I'll make it. 759 01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:48,697 I'm sorry things worked out this way. 760 01:08:48,770 --> 01:08:52,297 - It's not over yet. - I'm afraid it is. 761 01:08:52,374 --> 01:08:53,204 Hey! 762 01:09:23,872 --> 01:09:25,931 What the hell do you think you're doing? 763 01:09:26,008 --> 01:09:28,442 It doesn't make any difference what happens to me. 764 01:09:28,510 --> 01:09:32,207 That is the dumbest, sorriest thing I've ever heard you say. 765 01:09:32,281 --> 01:09:36,615 I don't believe you've got a drop of Thomasina Paine's blood in your body. 766 01:09:36,685 --> 01:09:40,485 The minute things get rough, you close your eyes and try to drive us off a cliff. 767 01:09:40,556 --> 01:09:44,822 If you'd just stop trying to kill me for a minute, I need your help. 768 01:09:44,893 --> 01:09:47,987 How can you possibly expect me to help you? 769 01:09:48,063 --> 01:09:49,724 You're my navigator. 770 01:09:49,798 --> 01:09:52,358 You're the only one who knows where you're going. 771 01:09:52,434 --> 01:09:55,198 I mean, whose side are you on anyway? 772 01:09:55,270 --> 01:09:58,501 I thought the only thing you cared about was winning the race. 773 01:09:58,574 --> 01:10:03,739 Sure. Only the winner of the race gets to shake hands with Mr. President. 774 01:10:04,313 --> 01:10:06,838 - Is that a grenade? - A hand grenade. 775 01:10:06,915 --> 01:10:12,876 That handshake is all I've lived for for as long as I can remember. 776 01:10:12,955 --> 01:10:16,618 No, wait a minute. I don't want you to die. 777 01:10:20,062 --> 01:10:21,723 It's my life's work. 778 01:11:02,704 --> 01:11:05,298 Why do you wanna win this race so bad? 779 01:11:05,374 --> 01:11:08,935 Why do I wanna win this race? In the name of hate. 780 01:11:09,011 --> 01:11:10,979 One big victory for hate. 781 01:12:51,580 --> 01:12:54,549 Give me your hand. Give me your hand! 782 01:13:10,232 --> 01:13:14,032 - Hey, stop. Will you stop the car? - Shut up! What is that? 783 01:13:14,102 --> 01:13:19,597 It's a hand. Will you stop the goddamn car? Stop the car! 784 01:13:30,719 --> 01:13:34,246 You're going to have to shift the gears for me now. 785 01:13:34,322 --> 01:13:36,756 The only thing that worries me 786 01:13:36,825 --> 01:13:40,386 is how am I going to shake hands with Mr. President? 787 01:13:40,462 --> 01:13:43,625 Mr. President's the one who should be worried now. 788 01:14:03,418 --> 01:14:08,583 He's coming! Can you hear that engine? Still in perfect tune. 789 01:14:08,657 --> 01:14:12,991 Here he is - the one and only three-time winner 790 01:14:13,061 --> 01:14:17,725 and sole survivor of the 20th annual Transcontinental Road Race, 791 01:14:17,799 --> 01:14:21,462 none other than Frankenstein himself! 792 01:14:22,471 --> 01:14:24,200 And now Mr. President. 793 01:14:24,272 --> 01:14:26,797 Our enemy, the French, 794 01:14:26,875 --> 01:14:31,608 have destroyed nearly all our gallant racers. 795 01:14:31,680 --> 01:14:36,049 Just as they have crippled our once-great economy, 796 01:14:36,117 --> 01:14:39,109 and wrecked our telephone system. 797 01:14:39,187 --> 01:14:42,987 But even they, in all their evil power, 798 01:14:43,058 --> 01:14:46,516 were not able to destroy Frankenstein, 799 01:14:46,595 --> 01:14:50,531 who is the embodiment of our national virtue 800 01:14:50,599 --> 01:14:54,035 and therefore indestructible. 801 01:14:54,102 --> 01:14:59,631 It is fitting that Frankenstein should be the one chosen by your president 802 01:14:59,708 --> 01:15:04,202 to lead you in this war against the French which I now decree. 803 01:15:07,315 --> 01:15:10,807 Frankenstein has been shot! There is a French spy in our midst! 804 01:15:10,886 --> 01:15:13,753 Guards, seize that woman! 805 01:15:13,822 --> 01:15:16,848 Frankenstein, are you all right? 806 01:15:28,637 --> 01:15:29,797 Annie! 807 01:15:33,241 --> 01:15:35,038 Frankenstein... 808 01:16:00,201 --> 01:16:05,264 Frankenstein! Frankenstein! Frankenstein! Frankenstein! Frankenstein! 809 01:16:05,340 --> 01:16:08,901 Frankenstein! Frankenstein! Frankenstein! Frankenstein! 810 01:16:17,852 --> 01:16:23,051 Mr. And Mrs. President Frankenstein - dear friends of mine - 811 01:16:23,124 --> 01:16:25,888 can you tell us what your first official acts will be? 812 01:16:25,961 --> 01:16:29,988 I plan to pension off the secret police, restore free elections, 813 01:16:30,065 --> 01:16:34,331 end minority privilege, and move the seat of government back to New Los Angeles. 814 01:16:34,402 --> 01:16:36,427 We've been governed from abroad long enough. 815 01:16:36,504 --> 01:16:42,272 Mr. President, is it true that you are now accepting rebels into your government? 816 01:16:42,344 --> 01:16:46,303 Well, since I have accepted one into my house... 817 01:16:46,381 --> 01:16:50,511 President Frankenstein has appointed my great-grandmother, Thomasina Paine, 818 01:16:50,585 --> 01:16:55,045 in view of her experience in the field, as the minister for domestic security. 819 01:16:55,123 --> 01:16:59,082 And I plan to deal very harshly with rebels. 820 01:16:59,160 --> 01:17:05,121 Anybody who is unhappy with happiness can go find someplace else to live. 821 01:17:05,200 --> 01:17:07,760 - What about the race? - The race is abolished. 822 01:17:07,836 --> 01:17:09,804 - Abolished? - That's right. 823 01:17:09,871 --> 01:17:14,308 We feel that the country no longer needs this gratuitous display of violence 824 01:17:14,376 --> 01:17:17,004 to show the world that its virility is still intact. 825 01:17:17,078 --> 01:17:23,039 Mr. President, isn't it true that as a racer your popularity depended on violence? 826 01:17:23,118 --> 01:17:28,112 I'm afraid I shall have to let my press secretary answer that question. 827 01:17:28,189 --> 01:17:31,522 Stop annoying Mr. President with impertinent questions, Junior. 828 01:17:31,593 --> 01:17:33,686 It's the race, man. 829 01:17:33,762 --> 01:17:36,731 President Frankenstein, you can't call off the race. 830 01:17:36,798 --> 01:17:38,925 The American people won't stand for it! 831 01:17:39,000 --> 01:17:41,127 Get out of the way, Junior. 832 01:17:41,202 --> 01:17:45,798 The race is the symbol of everything we hold dear - our American way of life. 833 01:17:45,874 --> 01:17:48,570 Sure, it's violent. But that's the way we love it. 834 01:17:48,643 --> 01:17:52,238 Violent, violent, violent. And that's why we love you! 835 01:17:52,313 --> 01:17:54,713 Frank, do we have to listen to this? 836 01:17:54,783 --> 01:17:55,943 No. 837 01:18:05,293 --> 01:18:08,057 As to this matter of violence. 838 01:18:08,129 --> 01:18:12,930 The technique of violence was first developed in 2.000.000 BC 839 01:18:13,001 --> 01:18:15,094 by the Australopithecines. 840 01:18:15,170 --> 01:18:19,630 A tribe of four-foot primates who had no brains to speak of. 841 01:18:19,708 --> 01:18:24,975 But who. Nevertheless. Invented the tomahawk and used it on each other. 842 01:18:25,046 --> 01:18:30,712 This practice led to the enlargement of the brain - another useful weapon. 843 01:18:30,785 --> 01:18:35,950 Yes. Murder was invented even before man began to think. 844 01:18:36,024 --> 01:18:42,020 Now. of course. Man has become known as the thinking animal.