1
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:37,287
Dr. Branson, please call 5914.
2
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,873
Dr. Branson, please call 5914.
3
00:00:56,557 --> 00:01:00,644
It's like, every time you turn
on the TV or look at a magazine,
4
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:04,773
it's, "Oh, my God,
this cake is so delicious."
5
00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:06,525
And, like, your reward or something.
6
00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:10,862
And then, you turn the page,
and there's some sad, fat "before" girl,
7
00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:13,448
and she's all, "I hate myself."
8
00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:15,409
And then, the thin "after" girl goes,
9
00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:17,853
"I did this diet, and now I'm happy,
and everyone loves me."
10
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,871
What about the chocolate cake?
11
00:01:19,955 --> 00:01:21,957
It's like they're trying
to drive us crazy.
12
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,917
"Society's to blame.
13
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:29,214
The world is so unfair. I have to die."
14
00:01:29,298 --> 00:01:31,341
There's no point in blaming everybody.
15
00:01:32,509 --> 00:01:33,593
Live with it.
16
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,972
Ellen, do you think there's a way
you can express that
17
00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:39,016
without discounting Penny's feelings?
18
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:14,051
Bitch.
19
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:17,304
Told you you'd lose.
You owe me a carton of Camels.
20
00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:03,392
Oh, my God. Look at you.
Your parents are gonna kill you.
21
00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:08,063
No more trips to TJ, Rosa.
I think they put cement in your lips.
22
00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:11,733
Your mom said,
"Take the room in the garage."
23
00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:14,152
There's a room in the garage now?
24
00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:17,823
Every time I come home, you have
a new face and there's more house.
25
00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:21,326
- It was gonna be your mother's office.
- She's not my mother.
26
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,550
Dinner is half an hour!
27
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:39,761
- Your father and mother are eating out.
- Okay.
28
00:03:42,681 --> 00:03:45,809
- Are you on that dating app again?
- No. Come on, what?
29
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:49,438
- You know what I'm doing. Come on.
- Oh.
30
00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:51,732
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
31
00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:54,860
All right, go. Get ready.
32
00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:57,195
- All right, ready?
- Mm-hmm.
33
00:03:57,279 --> 00:03:59,948
280 for the pork,
350 for the buttered noodles,
34
00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:03,160
125 for the buttered beans,
150 for the roll, and 50...
35
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:06,621
No, 75 for butter.
36
00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:12,043
- You got it. All of it. Dang.
- Yes.
37
00:04:12,127 --> 00:04:14,379
Oh, my God.
It's like you have calorie Asperger's.
38
00:04:14,463 --> 00:04:16,965
- I mean, hold the applause.
- You're a pro.
39
00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:20,552
Okay, wait. Now, so how many...
how many calories you think boogers have?
40
00:04:20,635 --> 00:04:22,095
Ay, don't say that.
41
00:04:22,179 --> 00:04:24,264
What? She probably knows.
You know, right?
42
00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:32,731
- Not just the beans, the meat.
- I'd say snot's pretty low.
43
00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:35,859
Maybe, like, five to ten,
depending on the size of the pickin's.
44
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:36,943
- The meat.
- Mm-hmm.
45
00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:39,821
And you are both being disgusting.
46
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:42,824
"The meat."
47
00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:48,455
You know, you used to have a jar
that you kept all your boogers in?
48
00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:49,978
- No, I didn't.
- You absolutely did.
49
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,124
- You probably did.
- Hello!
50
00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:55,212
- Stop. No, I didn't.
- Sorry we couldn't pick you up.
51
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,671
Work.
52
00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:02,719
Mmm. Did you get settled in?
53
00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:07,474
So, Jack is very upset with you.
He's very worried.
54
00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:09,976
Why doesn't Jack tell me himself?
55
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:12,729
Your father would rather
you and I have this talk, okay?
56
00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:15,941
Right.
57
00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:18,652
It's not that he doesn't care.
He cares too much.
58
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,321
You don't know.
59
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:27,452
The doctor said you were defiant
and a bad influence on the other girls.
60
00:05:27,536 --> 00:05:30,789
Is this what it's gonna be now?
Are you proud of yourself?
61
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,165
I'm maintaining.
62
00:05:36,086 --> 00:05:38,004
I have to weigh you.
63
00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:39,565
The agreement was you could live here
64
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:42,133
as long as you kept up
your end of the bargain.
65
00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:45,029
- You wanna go back to your mother's?
- Mom moved to Phoenix with Olive.
66
00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:46,414
Yeah, that's what I mean. Phoenix.
67
00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:49,182
We can put you on the bus,
first thing tomorrow.
68
00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:08,076
Jesus.
69
00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:11,997
- I had that cold, and I...
- I don't wanna hear it. Get on.
70
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:20,171
- It's not at zero.
- Stop. Stop it. Get on.
71
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,094
God.
72
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,220
Okay.
73
00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:30,682
Turn towards me.
74
00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:41,735
Do you see that?
Do you see what you look like?
75
00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:44,028
Yeah.
76
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,699
Do you think that's beautiful?
77
00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:50,076
No.
78
00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:53,622
So, what are you gonna do about it?
79
00:06:57,375 --> 00:07:01,296
Jesus Christ. We can't do this again.
I can't do this again.
80
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,585
You have a car now, right?
81
00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:42,753
Yeah.
82
00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:46,091
What?
83
00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:51,221
You're using me to burn off
half a pack of lifesavers or some shit.
84
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:55,308
- The view is best at the top.
- Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
85
00:07:56,726 --> 00:08:01,106
Hey, look. Don't tell anyone, okay?
86
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:04,567
- A butterfly tattoo?
- Yeah.
87
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:05,944
Were you drunk?
88
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:11,241
- No. Butterflies are classic.
- They're retarded.
89
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:15,620
Okay, I'm sorry I didn't have
your artistic eye to advise me,
90
00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:17,747
so I got a retarded butterfly.
91
00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:20,166
I mean, it's pretty.
92
00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:28,008
Dad and Susan are gonna kick me out,
or drag me to that treatment.
93
00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:31,761
- Okay, so eat.
- I eat.
94
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,307
You know
that I love you like a full sister,
95
00:08:36,391 --> 00:08:39,561
but you look like absolute crap.
96
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:41,521
And every time I ask you why you do this,
97
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:45,900
I always get
some stupid non-answer from you.
98
00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:48,069
At least, I'm a cheap date.
99
00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:50,363
That stuff goes further
on an empty stomach.
100
00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:57,829
I've got it under control.
101
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:01,416
Nothing bad's gonna happen.
102
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,337
How many people
do you think are down there?
103
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:10,300
Like, two million?
104
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:18,600
I bet a bunch of them who are about to die
just said the exact same thing.
105
00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:31,404
- That's not breakfast.
- Neither is coffee. Dad home?
106
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:34,324
He had an early meeting.
107
00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:36,993
Hey.
108
00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:44,209
You have a choice.
109
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:47,045
There's one last person
that we want you to see, a specialist.
110
00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:50,006
- It wasn't easy getting an appointment...
- I think I will call my mom.
111
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:53,510
- I should at least try Phoenix.
- We spoke to your mother last night.
112
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:58,139
She says it's not a good time
for her to take this on.
113
00:09:58,223 --> 00:10:00,517
But she sends hugs.
114
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:42,392
Now, you know me, I enjoy people,
but your mother is selfish.
115
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:46,271
Do you think we wanted to stay
in the Valley? North Hollywood.
116
00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:52,819
But... with this and school for you
and Kelly, only thing we can afford.
117
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:56,906
Not that I... love the Westside.
You can never find parking.
118
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:03,163
Well, at least on our side,
we have Pier 1, which I love.
119
00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:06,166
Over there at the Grove,
all you have is Cost Plus World Market.
120
00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:08,001
I mean, all that is just junk.
121
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:10,170
You too? Was it hard
getting an appointment?
122
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:13,590
We were on the waiting list
for six months.
123
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,885
Six months?
Ooh, it wasn't that long for us.
124
00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:19,470
I guess word is out
about his success rate.
125
00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:22,348
So, I hear that his methods
are a little unconventional.
126
00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:27,395
They're quite radical. But we've tried
everything else. Renfrew, Maudsley.
127
00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:31,524
Maudsley? Ooh, you're brave.
Was that a nightmare?
128
00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:35,278
It took a long time getting used to it.
129
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:46,372
- Does that really work?
- No, I'm just thirsty.
130
00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:54,422
How old are you, anyway? Your mom said
you had to drop out of college.
131
00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:58,009
Twenty. And she's not my mom.
132
00:11:58,092 --> 00:12:01,387
Twenty, wow.
And you're some kind of artist?
133
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:05,642
Your... Well, that lady said
you're kind of famous.
134
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:06,726
She's nuts.
135
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:12,065
But you had, like, a crazy fan
or something.
136
00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:20,782
Susan, my Stepmom, has a reality problem.
You get one letter, you have a crazy fan.
137
00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:23,493
Seriously? She made it sound like
you had a stalker or something.
138
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:26,621
Yeah. Not even.
139
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:28,623
She said she was taking
the anti-depressants,
140
00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:30,184
but she'd been flushing them
down the toilet.
141
00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:31,894
She was afraid
they would make her gain weight.
142
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:37,674
And I know, she has a right to lash out.
Her mother Judy, she is a bipolar lesbian.
143
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:41,094
- That is not why...
- Judy has had several breakdowns,
144
00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:43,471
hospitalizations.
145
00:12:43,554 --> 00:12:45,306
Poor Ellen had to call us one time
146
00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:48,226
because her mother was writing
her own bible on the walls.
147
00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:50,269
Judy came out when Ellen was 13.
148
00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:54,649
The child is going through puberty,
and overnight, she's got two moms?
149
00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:58,695
Traumatic. It has got to have something
to do with the weight and...
150
00:12:58,778 --> 00:12:59,988
Sounds rough.
151
00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:05,451
But looking for one reason is
a losing battle. It's never that simple.
152
00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:09,580
Absolutely. I say that to her father
all the time. He blames himself.
153
00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:14,043
Now, I think throwing Ellen
into the deep end, real life...
154
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:15,586
might do her some good.
155
00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:17,088
My family was on welfare.
156
00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:21,217
- We had nothing.
- Okay, thank you. I think I got it.
157
00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:30,268
- You do a lot of sit-ups.
- Not that many.
158
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:33,771
It wasn't a question. That's where
you get these bruises on your spine.
159
00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:37,942
Your Stepmom always talk that much?
160
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:42,947
You know how sharks have
to keep swimming or they'll die?
161
00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:45,575
She's kinda like that with talking.
162
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:53,916
Take a deep breath.
163
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,626
Let it out.
164
00:13:58,212 --> 00:14:02,216
Again.
165
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:03,342
And one more.
166
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,267
When was the last time
you got your period?
167
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,186
God.
168
00:14:16,064 --> 00:14:17,148
Um...
169
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,235
It must have been...
170
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:23,696
A long time ago.
171
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:29,494
I don't feel... that unhealthy, you know?
172
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:34,123
If I wanna be thin,
don't they say that that's better?
173
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:36,626
I'll outlive the Normies.
174
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:41,672
- You like this? The furry?
- What? No, I'm not...
175
00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:45,301
Lanugo. Your body's trying
to keep you warm by making more hair.
176
00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:47,553
But you know that, right?
177
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:53,101
I talk to kids like you all day,
every day.
178
00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:56,813
So, I know that you are,
as a rule, full of shit.
179
00:14:56,896 --> 00:15:01,192
You're not thin. You scare people.
And I'm guessing you like that.
180
00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:04,237
But the way that you're going,
one day, you won't wake up.
181
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:07,573
And I'm not going to treat you
if you aren't interested in living.
182
00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:10,993
Good speech.
183
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:14,872
If I'm going to help you,
you have to agree to a few things.
184
00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:19,669
- What?
- No talk about food.
185
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:23,381
I'm not interested.
It's boring and not very helpful.
186
00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:25,425
And your parents can't talk
about it either.
187
00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:28,970
- You're on your own, understand?
- Yes.
188
00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:32,056
You'll agree to a minimum
of six weeks in-patient.
189
00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:33,891
I don't need more in-patient.
190
00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:38,729
Then find another doctor.
191
00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:45,379
- Well?
- He wants to admit me on Monday.
192
00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:48,281
He said that? He said he'll admit you?
193
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:52,994
This is great! What exactly did he say?
194
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:57,206
Is Dad coming?
195
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:01,794
Uh, you know, we didn't have much time
to talk, but he's on his way home.
196
00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:02,879
Dad's coming?
197
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,380
Mm...
198
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:07,717
- He's on his way, but he said not to wait.
- So, he's not coming.
199
00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:13,973
Hey, what happened to that sweet girl
that I met at Transitions?
200
00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:17,810
- The Mexican.
- Angel?
201
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:20,730
- Mm-hmm.
- Her mom's from El Salvador.
202
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,315
You know what I mean.
203
00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:25,818
You two seemed very close. And I just...
204
00:16:26,861 --> 00:16:29,405
I want you to know
that it's fine if you were.
205
00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:36,162
- Thank you, Susan.
- Jesus, Mom.
206
00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:39,457
Just because her mom is gay
does not mean that she's gay.
207
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:41,542
You know, you can get married now.
208
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:45,004
I'm not saying you are.
I'm just saying, you know, if you...
209
00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:47,798
if you have that kind of turmoil,
210
00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:50,968
then you might feel
like you don't deserve to eat.
211
00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:52,261
Pussy, you mean.
212
00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:08,736
Are you done? I've got a special dessert.
213
00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:11,864
Yup, all done. Thanks.
214
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:17,161
Well, I'm so sorry Dad couldn't be here
for your lesbian coming out party.
215
00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:20,373
It really sucks.
I mean, I believe it, but...
216
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:21,958
No, I'm... I'm fine.
217
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,713
Will you try... this time?
218
00:17:28,798 --> 00:17:32,969
I mean, maybe this doctor is really great.
Can you please just try this time?
219
00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:36,264
Ta-da!
220
00:17:40,268 --> 00:17:41,394
Isn't it funny?
221
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:44,522
It's a cake.
222
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:49,318
With the syrup
and the nuts, it was literally heaven.
223
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,362
Life in these arctic temperatures
is measured
224
00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:53,489
by the briefest moments of light...
225
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:04,750
- This is it? You're sure?
- Yeah, this is the address.
226
00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:08,462
Oh, hi.
227
00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:10,923
- Oh, that's okay.
- Please.
228
00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:14,051
- So I can get my points.
- Okay.
229
00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:20,016
- So, what's your name?
- Ellen.
230
00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:26,939
Anna. Bulimia Nervosa.
Although, more Nervosa than bulimia now.
231
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,358
That's Kendra.
232
00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:39,368
Here you go. Welcome to Threshold.
I'll, uh... I'll go get Lobo.
233
00:18:40,411 --> 00:18:42,622
Lobo!
234
00:18:42,705 --> 00:18:45,708
This is... very nice, homey.
235
00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:48,336
Hey.
236
00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:51,088
Uh, hi, are you Lobo?
237
00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:54,258
Lucus. Like "Mucus."
238
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:58,554
But I prefer "Luke." Lobo is a dame.
239
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:01,724
- A dame?
- A broad, a skirt.
240
00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:05,645
Raymond Chandler is my muse
since I got here.
241
00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:07,980
To the hard-scrabbled streets
of LA, that is.
242
00:19:08,064 --> 00:19:09,190
- Oh.
- Wow.
243
00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:14,236
- I'm from London, originally.
- London? How interesting.
244
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,697
Did you come all this way for Dr. Beckham?
245
00:19:16,781 --> 00:19:20,368
By way of Jersey. It's a sordid tale.
246
00:19:20,451 --> 00:19:24,288
- But he's the best, so...
- Well, Ellen's from Los Angeles.
247
00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:27,708
- How interesting.
- Not really.
248
00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:40,680
Well... see you around, sweetheart.
249
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:49,730
God.
250
00:19:50,773 --> 00:19:54,068
He seemed nice, funny.
251
00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:57,613
Here we go. Nothing fancy. That's Pearl.
252
00:19:57,697 --> 00:20:00,449
Anna's in here too,
when she's not running around.
253
00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:05,454
We usually have six patients,
254
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,540
but, right now, we have seven
because of Luke.
255
00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,375
- He's down the hall.
- I like your pants.
256
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:13,170
Oh. Thanks.
257
00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:16,215
I, uh... like your ponies.
258
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:18,259
Thanks.
259
00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:22,596
Sorry.
260
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:24,890
It's gross.
261
00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:29,854
Oh, this girl from the last place I was in
had a permanent tube in her stomach.
262
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:31,731
She refused to chew.
263
00:20:31,814 --> 00:20:34,108
Ew. I chew.
264
00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:40,072
So, I'm gonna have to search this.
Any knives or X-Actos I should know about?
265
00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:42,867
- Are you cutter?
- Nope, not that on-trend.
266
00:20:44,827 --> 00:20:47,455
- Some of these girls are cutters?
- Oh, yeah.
267
00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:49,373
We have a lot of overachievers in here.
268
00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:55,546
- I'm gonna have to take these.
- It's just a multivitamin.
269
00:20:55,629 --> 00:21:00,384
It's a vitamin bottle.
Could be diet pills, speed, laxatives...
270
00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:04,764
And we don't have time to test
for everything. We'll give you a vitamin.
271
00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:06,932
And can I have your phone, please?
272
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:12,021
Do you have any other
electronic devices? iPad?
273
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:15,316
My iPad doesn't even have wireless.
I just use it to draw.
274
00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:19,111
Dr. Beckham says you should draw
on paper until he says different.
275
00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:23,407
- God, what did you say to him?
- I just explained the situation.
276
00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:27,328
Okay. Um...
277
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:30,080
I should let you get settled, right?
278
00:21:30,164 --> 00:21:33,459
Uh, is Dr. Beckham here?
I'd like to just pop in before I go.
279
00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:36,712
He's only here in the morning
and usually stops by after dinner.
280
00:21:37,755 --> 00:21:40,382
I just thought you should know
about her tricks.
281
00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:43,052
Oh. We know all the tricks.
282
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:45,054
That's why we don't have any doors.
283
00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:48,933
They know we'd jog around the room
all day if nobody could see us.
284
00:21:49,016 --> 00:21:51,227
It'd be like the Rexie Olympics
up in here.
285
00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:56,899
Okay. Call us if you need anything,
and, um... we'll see you soon, okay?
286
00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:58,901
- Be good.
- Okay.
287
00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:02,363
Not too good. Not perfect.
288
00:22:02,446 --> 00:22:03,446
Got it.
289
00:22:05,282 --> 00:22:06,492
I got it.
290
00:22:19,421 --> 00:22:22,675
Pearl usually gives the tour,
but, obviously, she's not going anywhere.
291
00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:25,219
So, Luke is your guy.
292
00:22:25,302 --> 00:22:30,683
- Ellen, Luke.
- We've met. Onward.
293
00:22:33,269 --> 00:22:38,691
This, as you can see, is a living room.
294
00:22:38,774 --> 00:22:41,569
We meet here twice a day
for "Bitch and Bawl."
295
00:22:41,652 --> 00:22:42,695
What?
296
00:22:42,778 --> 00:22:44,446
It's what we call our group therapy.
297
00:22:44,530 --> 00:22:47,866
- Well, it's what I call group therapy.
- And what's the deal with levels?
298
00:22:47,950 --> 00:22:50,452
I prefer to think of them
as draconian points
299
00:22:50,536 --> 00:22:52,413
earned for good behavior.
300
00:22:52,496 --> 00:22:56,166
Like when you were little
and you had chores, if you had chores.
301
00:22:56,250 --> 00:22:59,587
This is the torture chamber,
also known as the dining room.
302
00:22:59,670 --> 00:23:01,297
Chores, uh, which I never had
303
00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:03,660
because that would assume
I had parents who gave a shit...
304
00:23:03,716 --> 00:23:07,678
- So, you do chores to get points?
- Among other things, yes.
305
00:23:07,761 --> 00:23:11,307
And Lobo and the other nurses
and counselors can give them
306
00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:12,975
or take them away at will.
307
00:23:13,058 --> 00:23:15,185
Amass enough points, level up.
308
00:23:15,269 --> 00:23:18,689
Earn extra privileges, like, you can
go out of the house on your own.
309
00:23:18,772 --> 00:23:22,443
I'm actually currently deciding
on where to go on my next outing.
310
00:23:22,526 --> 00:23:28,032
So far, I've eaten at nine of the places
on Jonathan Gold's essential 100 list.
311
00:23:28,115 --> 00:23:30,993
Jonathan Gold is my muse.
312
00:23:31,076 --> 00:23:33,329
Raymond Chandler was your muse
a few minutes ago.
313
00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:39,001
I know. Isn't that fantastic?
Nobody can keep up with me.
314
00:23:39,084 --> 00:23:40,753
Onward.
315
00:23:40,836 --> 00:23:43,964
So, welcome
to our new house member, Ellen.
316
00:23:44,048 --> 00:23:45,633
- Hi.
- Hi, Ellen.
317
00:23:45,716 --> 00:23:46,550
Hello.
318
00:23:46,634 --> 00:23:49,386
So, how this works...
This is just an end of day check-in.
319
00:23:49,470 --> 00:23:51,680
The morning sessions
are a little more focused.
320
00:23:51,764 --> 00:23:55,893
This is just to talk about struggles
and our victories and...
321
00:23:55,976 --> 00:23:58,937
any other issues you might be having
here in the house.
322
00:23:59,938 --> 00:24:00,981
Let's start with Pearl.
323
00:24:04,860 --> 00:24:05,944
Struggle...
324
00:24:07,404 --> 00:24:14,662
I got tubed today,
and, uh... you know, it hurts.
325
00:24:14,745 --> 00:24:16,997
Now, I feel all...
326
00:24:18,374 --> 00:24:19,375
hot.
327
00:24:21,335 --> 00:24:24,713
I can't stop thinking
about how many calories are in that drip.
328
00:24:24,797 --> 00:24:27,091
- They won't say.
- Fifteen hundred.
329
00:24:29,593 --> 00:24:32,262
I looked it up.
I was tubed a couple times.
330
00:24:32,346 --> 00:24:33,531
Ellen, we try not to crosstalk.
331
00:24:33,555 --> 00:24:37,142
We don't talk about numbers
or weight or anything like that.
332
00:24:37,226 --> 00:24:39,353
- Sorry.
- Fifteen hundred?
333
00:24:39,436 --> 00:24:43,732
How are you feeling
right now, Pearl? It's okay.
334
00:24:43,816 --> 00:24:46,110
I don't know. Just...
335
00:24:49,571 --> 00:24:52,116
that it's hard getting better.
336
00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:55,994
And I'm guessing that you're worried
about how you're gonna be burning it off,
337
00:24:56,078 --> 00:24:57,879
especially when everybody's here
watching you?
338
00:24:59,039 --> 00:25:00,499
Do you know why you feel that way?
339
00:25:02,793 --> 00:25:07,256
- Because I... have an addiction?
- In a way, yes.
340
00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:09,925
When the exercise and the rituals kick in
341
00:25:10,008 --> 00:25:13,429
and... the cyclical thoughts
about weight take over,
342
00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:15,556
everything else goes away.
343
00:25:15,639 --> 00:25:18,559
And starving yourself
can make you feel euphoric,
344
00:25:18,642 --> 00:25:21,645
like a drug addict or an alcoholic.
345
00:25:22,855 --> 00:25:25,524
It's not about "thin enough," right?
346
00:25:25,607 --> 00:25:28,068
There's no "thin enough."
It doesn't exist.
347
00:25:28,152 --> 00:25:33,198
What you crave is the numbing
of the thing that you don't wanna feel.
348
00:25:33,282 --> 00:25:34,950
And we give you a lot of rope here.
349
00:25:35,033 --> 00:25:40,748
It's scary, but only you can decide...
to see what's good, to be alive.
350
00:25:40,831 --> 00:25:42,875
- You understand?
- Kind of.
351
00:25:44,251 --> 00:25:47,045
- I'm trying.
- Yeah, you are.
352
00:25:49,131 --> 00:25:50,382
Talk to me, brother.
353
00:25:50,466 --> 00:25:54,845
My victory was leading
a fantastic house tour...
354
00:25:54,928 --> 00:25:56,054
and earning another point,
355
00:25:56,138 --> 00:25:59,975
which means I get to go to Guelaguetza,
Oaxacan restaurant,
356
00:26:00,058 --> 00:26:03,687
number 26 on Mr. Gold's essential 100.
357
00:26:03,771 --> 00:26:10,319
And affordable, which is also essential.
Ballet companies don't pay you a fortune.
358
00:26:10,402 --> 00:26:13,614
That's great.
Talk to me about your struggles.
359
00:26:13,697 --> 00:26:16,784
Don't know, really. I guess
I'm obsessing about my injury
360
00:26:16,867 --> 00:26:19,995
and... if I'll be able to perform
when I get get out of here.
361
00:26:20,078 --> 00:26:23,499
- But I've got a goal. So, that's good.
- You have a couple of goals.
362
00:26:23,582 --> 00:26:26,585
Eating Oaxacan and getting healthy
so you can dance again.
363
00:26:26,668 --> 00:26:29,838
Damn straight.
I've got goals coming out my wazoo.
364
00:26:32,090 --> 00:26:33,090
Ellen?
365
00:26:35,093 --> 00:26:37,471
Struggle, um...
366
00:26:39,223 --> 00:26:41,016
Coming here.
367
00:26:41,099 --> 00:26:43,936
I mean,
accepting that I have to come here.
368
00:26:44,019 --> 00:26:47,356
So, maybe your victory
is that you're here.
369
00:26:48,607 --> 00:26:49,607
Hmm?
370
00:26:51,443 --> 00:26:52,486
Yeah, maybe.
371
00:27:08,418 --> 00:27:11,213
Did Luke explain about meals?
372
00:27:11,296 --> 00:27:14,633
No. By the time we got to that,
he was onto some musical thing.
373
00:27:27,896 --> 00:27:29,898
Eat what you want.
374
00:27:29,982 --> 00:27:33,402
If you have special food,
like Kendra here does, that's fine.
375
00:27:33,485 --> 00:27:35,070
- We'll get it for you.
- That's it?
376
00:27:35,153 --> 00:27:39,658
No, you're definitely judged.
When you eat, points magically appear.
377
00:27:39,741 --> 00:27:42,345
What he means is, if you're maintaining
or moving towards your goal,
378
00:27:42,369 --> 00:27:43,370
you go up a level.
379
00:27:43,453 --> 00:27:45,205
- How you do it is up to you.
- Really?
380
00:27:45,289 --> 00:27:47,791
Yeah, but no one leaves the table
at mealtime,
381
00:27:47,875 --> 00:27:49,877
and bathrooms are locked
for 30 minutes after.
382
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:52,296
And there's no point pretending to eat
383
00:27:52,379 --> 00:27:55,465
or throwing up into the plants
or whatever.
384
00:27:55,549 --> 00:27:58,594
It smells, and it doesn't end up
on the scale.
385
00:27:58,677 --> 00:27:59,761
Got it.
386
00:28:01,597 --> 00:28:03,682
- Thank you, Lobo.
- De nada.
387
00:28:04,892 --> 00:28:08,687
- All right. Who wants to say grace?
- Oh, sorry.
388
00:28:14,067 --> 00:28:16,778
- Dear Jesus...
- Take us to church.
389
00:28:16,862 --> 00:28:22,743
Allah, Oprah, My Little Pony,
or whoever your personal savior is...
390
00:28:22,826 --> 00:28:26,455
help us to give our bodies what they need
to grow strong and beautiful
391
00:28:26,538 --> 00:28:30,959
because every single person
at this table deserves to live.
392
00:28:31,043 --> 00:28:33,128
- Mm.
- Amen.
393
00:28:33,211 --> 00:28:34,212
Bon appétit.
394
00:28:36,590 --> 00:28:37,590
Oh, yeah.
395
00:28:39,301 --> 00:28:43,222
Oh, my God.
This is so fucking good. Oh, my God.
396
00:28:47,517 --> 00:28:48,517
Pearl?
397
00:28:53,190 --> 00:28:56,610
You freaked her out with the 1500 thing.
I mean, it's not your fault...
398
00:28:56,693 --> 00:28:58,880
- I didn't mean...
- Oh, no, no, no. It's not your fault.
399
00:28:58,904 --> 00:29:00,239
I mean, don't stress.
400
00:29:01,573 --> 00:29:04,993
- How many in-patients have you done?
- Four.
401
00:29:05,077 --> 00:29:09,623
Six. The rest of these guys,
they have no idea.
402
00:29:11,291 --> 00:29:16,171
I mean, Pearl's not actually just upset
about the tube. She might get kicked out.
403
00:29:16,255 --> 00:29:20,425
Seriously? I mean, she looks pretty sick.
404
00:29:20,509 --> 00:29:23,262
No, Dr. Beck says that hospitals
are for sick people.
405
00:29:23,345 --> 00:29:25,055
We're here to get over that shit.
406
00:29:28,183 --> 00:29:29,476
Ice cream's my favorite.
407
00:29:29,559 --> 00:29:32,271
- It comes up the easiest.
- How do you know you got it all?
408
00:29:32,354 --> 00:29:34,523
When your barf is clear
and it doesn't burn anymore.
409
00:29:34,606 --> 00:29:38,193
Oh. I wish I could barf.
I'm only good at the binging part.
410
00:29:40,612 --> 00:29:44,866
- You purge?
- I tried. It's not my thing.
411
00:29:44,950 --> 00:29:47,286
So, how do you get rid of it
if you can't barf?
412
00:29:47,369 --> 00:29:49,288
- It's gross.
- Tell me.
413
00:29:56,169 --> 00:30:01,717
Your ponies wouldn't want you to cry.
Hello Kitty wouldn't want you to cry.
414
00:30:03,802 --> 00:30:08,140
The unicorn on the stairs
wouldn't want you to cry.
415
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:17,399
Hey, there.
416
00:30:17,482 --> 00:30:19,818
- Settling in?
- Yeah.
417
00:30:21,153 --> 00:30:24,323
- Where's everyone else?
- May I?
418
00:30:25,782 --> 00:30:26,782
Okay.
419
00:30:29,661 --> 00:30:31,079
Anna went to the movies.
420
00:30:32,789 --> 00:30:33,957
Points.
421
00:30:35,667 --> 00:30:37,419
Cool.
422
00:30:37,502 --> 00:30:41,340
I'm having your family come in
for a group session tomorrow afternoon.
423
00:30:41,423 --> 00:30:43,008
It's standard when I see new patients.
424
00:30:43,091 --> 00:30:45,344
If it's productive,
we'll do it from time to time.
425
00:30:46,511 --> 00:30:47,596
Okay.
426
00:30:48,889 --> 00:30:51,516
- Even my mom?
- Even Mom.
427
00:30:52,851 --> 00:30:53,727
Wow.
428
00:30:53,810 --> 00:30:56,188
I told her it takes me longer
to drive in from the Valley
429
00:30:56,271 --> 00:30:57,773
than it does to fly from Phoenix.
430
00:31:02,486 --> 00:31:03,528
Okay, kiddo.
431
00:31:04,863 --> 00:31:06,114
Glad you're here.
432
00:31:09,743 --> 00:31:10,786
I didn't mean it.
433
00:31:12,245 --> 00:31:16,625
I... I mean, I didn't mean
for my drawings to do what they did.
434
00:31:17,918 --> 00:31:20,754
- What?
- On Tumblr.
435
00:31:20,837 --> 00:31:25,759
I know Susan told you what happened,
and... it'll come up, I bet.
436
00:31:27,135 --> 00:31:28,178
Right.
437
00:31:29,596 --> 00:31:32,516
I was just doing
what all my teachers told me to do.
438
00:31:32,599 --> 00:31:34,059
Draw what you know?
439
00:31:34,142 --> 00:31:37,187
- Yeah.
- I hear you.
440
00:31:37,270 --> 00:31:41,650
Just keep it for yourself, for now, okay?
441
00:31:43,068 --> 00:31:44,068
Okay.
442
00:31:45,487 --> 00:31:46,487
Good night.
443
00:32:22,691 --> 00:32:24,484
Oh. Sweaty.
444
00:32:24,568 --> 00:32:28,780
I ran home from the movies.
Don't tell anyone.
445
00:32:28,864 --> 00:32:30,115
Okay.
446
00:32:31,783 --> 00:32:33,910
- What movie did you see?
- Oh, um...
447
00:32:33,994 --> 00:32:36,997
They were playing Shaun of the Dead
at the New Beverly with Zombieland.
448
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:38,790
- No way.
- Yeah.
449
00:32:40,041 --> 00:32:41,793
Emma Stone's kinda fat.
Don't you think?
450
00:32:41,877 --> 00:32:44,504
Oh, no, I think she's just big-boned.
451
00:32:45,797 --> 00:32:47,632
She's, like, at least, a size six.
452
00:32:49,843 --> 00:32:53,054
- Anyway, 'night.
- 'Night.
453
00:33:05,275 --> 00:33:07,194
Mutually assured destruction.
454
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:09,779
Right.
455
00:33:14,868 --> 00:33:17,621
I'm breaking 120 today, dolls.
456
00:33:17,704 --> 00:33:23,126
- Is that going up or down?
- Up. Eighty-nine when I came in.
457
00:33:23,210 --> 00:33:25,504
Eighty-nine? How tall are you?
458
00:33:28,882 --> 00:33:30,842
You're a beautiful unicorn.
459
00:33:32,135 --> 00:33:34,846
- You, cheer captain, come on.
- All right.
460
00:33:36,014 --> 00:33:37,015
Let's do this.
461
00:33:40,810 --> 00:33:44,189
Megan's been gaining. She's flipping out.
462
00:33:44,272 --> 00:33:48,610
But, I mean, she wants to,
I think, for her baby.
463
00:33:48,693 --> 00:33:52,572
- She... She's pregnant?
- Oh, nobody said?
464
00:33:52,656 --> 00:33:55,075
- Jesus, I didn't even think about...
- I know.
465
00:33:55,158 --> 00:33:58,036
That's why Luke calls her "the unicorn."
466
00:33:58,119 --> 00:34:02,541
She gets her period once and gets pregnant
off some guy she barely knows.
467
00:34:05,544 --> 00:34:06,878
I'm never having a baby.
468
00:34:08,463 --> 00:34:09,548
No way.
469
00:34:13,468 --> 00:34:14,469
Where are you?
470
00:34:17,055 --> 00:34:19,683
That's probably Dad, right?
471
00:34:19,766 --> 00:34:22,894
- Making some excuse.
- Yeah, annoying.
472
00:34:24,062 --> 00:34:27,274
- I heard them fighting this morning.
- Great.
473
00:34:28,316 --> 00:34:29,316
That's great.
474
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:40,120
Oh, my God.
475
00:34:40,203 --> 00:34:42,038
Oh, my God.
476
00:34:42,122 --> 00:34:43,123
Mom...
477
00:34:44,541 --> 00:34:46,418
You... You look like a ghost.
478
00:34:48,628 --> 00:34:49,628
It's okay.
479
00:34:51,590 --> 00:34:52,591
Why?
480
00:34:55,635 --> 00:34:57,679
Mom, it's okay, it's okay.
481
00:34:57,762 --> 00:34:59,472
My God.
482
00:35:01,558 --> 00:35:04,603
- No dad?
- I'm sorry, work.
483
00:35:06,438 --> 00:35:08,607
Well, he has to support his family...
484
00:35:08,690 --> 00:35:12,444
and pay alimony, still,
and the medical bills and...
485
00:35:12,527 --> 00:35:13,527
Understood.
486
00:35:14,946 --> 00:35:17,282
Bet you didn't expect
this much "gynergy" today.
487
00:35:18,450 --> 00:35:21,870
I do think this is a record number
of mothers for one patient.
488
00:35:25,582 --> 00:35:29,461
Okay, I want everybody to understand
nobody's on trial here.
489
00:35:31,129 --> 00:35:33,048
I just want to get a sense of the family.
490
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:39,054
Well, until recently, Ellen lived with us.
491
00:35:39,137 --> 00:35:42,474
She moved in with her father
18 months ago.
492
00:35:42,557 --> 00:35:45,602
We thought it might be good for her
to heal that relationship.
493
00:35:45,685 --> 00:35:48,605
He's shown little interest
in who Ellen really is.
494
00:35:48,688 --> 00:35:51,316
He's only interested
in who he wants her to be.
495
00:35:51,399 --> 00:35:55,278
Ellen is an artist.
She's extremely bright and sensitive.
496
00:35:55,362 --> 00:35:58,782
She was never going to go into Chinese
497
00:35:58,865 --> 00:36:00,867
- or computers or what have you.
- What?
498
00:36:00,950 --> 00:36:03,286
Is that what you think
your dad wants for you?
499
00:36:05,705 --> 00:36:10,502
I don't know. I guess... I think he just
wants me to be able to make a living.
500
00:36:10,585 --> 00:36:14,297
- Exactly. Is that a crime?
- No crimes, remember?
501
00:36:14,381 --> 00:36:18,134
The point is, Ellen's father
never saw who she was.
502
00:36:18,218 --> 00:36:19,761
He left when she was very young...
503
00:36:19,844 --> 00:36:22,764
Yeah, because you were sleeping
with your best friend over there.
504
00:36:22,847 --> 00:36:25,488
- No, that's not why the marriage ended.
- There's a better reason?
505
00:36:25,558 --> 00:36:27,769
We are not here
to defend our relationship.
506
00:36:27,852 --> 00:36:30,247
When are you going to come up
with a different narrative, Susan?
507
00:36:30,271 --> 00:36:32,041
- What narrative?
- What narrative?
508
00:36:32,065 --> 00:36:33,668
- Susan...
- No, this is the truth.
509
00:36:33,692 --> 00:36:36,736
- Jack didn't wanna have sex.
- Well, he likes it with me just fine.
510
00:36:36,820 --> 00:36:39,447
- Twice a week, like clockwork.
- Oh, my God.
511
00:36:39,531 --> 00:36:41,825
Besides, he's not the one
who abandoned her.
512
00:36:41,908 --> 00:36:43,952
We did not abandon Ellen.
We moved to Phoenix.
513
00:36:44,035 --> 00:36:46,705
They threw her out.
They put her bags on the street.
514
00:36:46,788 --> 00:36:50,709
Because we'd been dealing
with Ellen's illness alone for years.
515
00:36:50,792 --> 00:36:53,670
I didn't abandon my daughter.
I love her more than life.
516
00:36:53,753 --> 00:36:57,048
I just didn't know what to do.
She's dying right in front of us.
517
00:37:00,343 --> 00:37:02,637
What's going on with you right now?
518
00:37:10,353 --> 00:37:11,396
I'm sorry...
519
00:37:14,357 --> 00:37:16,401
that I'm not a person anymore.
520
00:37:16,484 --> 00:37:17,652
I'm a problem.
521
00:37:22,824 --> 00:37:25,160
- And it's all my fault.
- Fuck fault.
522
00:37:26,453 --> 00:37:31,916
Fault and blame have no place here.
Only how you wanna live, moving forward.
523
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:33,084
Who you wanna be.
524
00:37:40,091 --> 00:37:44,137
How about you, Kelly?
What do you think of all this?
525
00:37:45,430 --> 00:37:47,182
Um... I, uh...
526
00:37:49,934 --> 00:37:52,020
I feel kind of angry, I guess.
527
00:37:53,938 --> 00:37:56,024
I just... I just don't really...
Really get it.
528
00:37:56,107 --> 00:37:58,526
You know, just... eat.
529
00:38:00,361 --> 00:38:03,549
I don't know. It's just like... It's not
her life that she's just missing out on.
530
00:38:03,573 --> 00:38:04,573
It's...
531
00:38:07,494 --> 00:38:10,288
It's my life, too.
You know, I don't get to have...
532
00:38:11,873 --> 00:38:12,873
a sister.
533
00:38:16,586 --> 00:38:20,715
You know, I look at pictures
of my prom and stuff, and...
534
00:38:22,550 --> 00:38:25,094
and all I think of is, like,
"Oh, that's when...
535
00:38:25,178 --> 00:38:27,347
Ellen was in the hospital," or...
536
00:38:27,430 --> 00:38:29,849
"That's when she fainted on the bus."
537
00:38:29,933 --> 00:38:30,933
All right.
538
00:38:32,101 --> 00:38:35,063
And all of my friends,
they think that she's some kind of freak.
539
00:38:35,146 --> 00:38:38,316
- Like, a freak who killed a girl.
- Because of the blog?
540
00:38:38,399 --> 00:38:40,401
- Tumblr.
- Yeah, and that's bad enough,
541
00:38:40,485 --> 00:38:44,113
but now, people wanna be like her
and look like her
542
00:38:44,197 --> 00:38:46,115
and go through what she's going through.
543
00:38:46,199 --> 00:38:48,409
Nobody died
because of Ellen's artwork, okay?
544
00:38:48,493 --> 00:38:51,538
There's plenty of stuff out there
for people to fetishize.
545
00:38:51,621 --> 00:38:55,208
But that certainly didn't help,
to have notoriety for starving...
546
00:38:55,291 --> 00:38:56,417
But that's what I'm saying.
547
00:38:56,501 --> 00:38:58,479
- Ellen has talent.
- I didn't say she doesn't.
548
00:38:58,503 --> 00:39:01,714
But if you hadn't made her
take her artwork away from her audience,
549
00:39:01,798 --> 00:39:02,983
she might have found her voice.
550
00:39:03,007 --> 00:39:06,511
Ellen took it down herself
after that young woman died
551
00:39:06,594 --> 00:39:08,888
because she knew
it was the right thing to do.
552
00:39:08,972 --> 00:39:11,158
- You are so full of shit, Susan.
- What?
553
00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:12,942
Do you even hear what Judy is saying?
554
00:39:12,976 --> 00:39:14,056
A young women died.
555
00:39:14,102 --> 00:39:16,187
- No, no, no.
- Meet me in the car.
556
00:39:20,692 --> 00:39:24,863
I'm sorry, we just...
We just can't take you with us right now.
557
00:39:27,574 --> 00:39:29,454
- We're gonna miss our plane.
- Okay, all right.
558
00:39:29,534 --> 00:39:30,952
- All right?
- Okay.
559
00:39:31,035 --> 00:39:34,455
Ellen... be strong, okay?
560
00:39:45,675 --> 00:39:48,028
Hey, I'm really sorry
if I got you in any sort of trouble...
561
00:39:48,052 --> 00:39:52,724
- Please, no, I'm sorry. I hate that...
- No, no, no, it's... it's whatever.
562
00:39:52,807 --> 00:39:54,017
You can forget it.
563
00:39:56,603 --> 00:39:59,522
What a shit-show.
564
00:40:01,774 --> 00:40:05,486
You really need to get better so you never
have to see those people ever again.
565
00:40:14,329 --> 00:40:15,496
If you die...
566
00:40:17,206 --> 00:40:18,333
I will kill you.
567
00:40:24,756 --> 00:40:26,507
Okay. I'll see you.
568
00:40:32,055 --> 00:40:33,055
See ya.
569
00:40:52,784 --> 00:40:55,203
- Dinner.
- I'm staying up here.
570
00:40:56,204 --> 00:40:59,958
You don't have to eat, but the rule
is that everyone has to sit down.
571
00:41:39,163 --> 00:41:41,249
Have you been thinking
about baby names?
572
00:41:41,332 --> 00:41:42,166
Not yet.
573
00:41:42,250 --> 00:41:45,670
I have a whole list of favorites
that you can have.
574
00:41:45,753 --> 00:41:48,339
I was actually considering a new moniker.
575
00:41:48,423 --> 00:41:52,468
- What about Dean or Tex?
- When I get out of the first trimester.
576
00:41:52,552 --> 00:41:54,446
Do you want to get out
of the first trimester?
577
00:41:54,470 --> 00:41:57,015
- Jesus, Luke.
- Stay out of this, Mia.
578
00:41:57,098 --> 00:42:01,185
This is between us rexies.
She knows what I'm talking about.
579
00:42:01,269 --> 00:42:07,233
I don't know. I'm terrified.
It just feels so... out of control.
580
00:42:07,316 --> 00:42:09,610
But it's kind of a miracle, you know?
581
00:42:09,694 --> 00:42:14,532
'Cause I didn't think anything
was working down there. So, maybe...
582
00:42:16,075 --> 00:42:17,785
I'm supposed to have this baby.
583
00:42:20,913 --> 00:42:21,956
And I want to.
584
00:42:23,499 --> 00:42:26,878
I just want to think about something
besides me for once.
585
00:42:26,961 --> 00:42:28,212
Amen, sister.
586
00:42:28,296 --> 00:42:31,716
- We should have a baby shower.
- No, I don't wanna jinx it.
587
00:42:31,799 --> 00:42:34,552
- No, please. A shower would be so cute.
- Yeah, no.
588
00:42:37,221 --> 00:42:38,556
All right, fine. Maybe.
589
00:42:38,639 --> 00:42:41,601
- If I get past 12 weeks.
- Yay!
590
00:42:42,643 --> 00:42:47,065
Well, we're gonna help you make it past.
Every bite you take feeds the miracle.
591
00:42:49,984 --> 00:42:51,652
Pass the potatoes.
592
00:42:53,988 --> 00:42:55,174
- Oh, my God...
- Are you sure?
593
00:42:55,198 --> 00:42:56,616
- I don't know.
- Here they are.
594
00:42:56,699 --> 00:42:58,242
- Just don't talk.
- Here they are.
595
00:42:58,326 --> 00:43:01,454
- Miracle potatoes.
- Miracle, miracle potatoes.
596
00:43:01,537 --> 00:43:03,081
- I like that.
- Pretty good.
597
00:43:05,124 --> 00:43:07,335
How about the newbie? How you doin'?
598
00:43:09,212 --> 00:43:10,254
Finished.
599
00:43:14,926 --> 00:43:18,262
- What happened?
- She had family therapy today.
600
00:43:19,514 --> 00:43:21,265
- Oh.
- Makes sense.
601
00:43:21,349 --> 00:43:22,391
Mm-hmm.
602
00:43:22,475 --> 00:43:26,062
Hey. I missed dinner.
603
00:43:26,145 --> 00:43:27,730
I found your barf stash.
604
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:35,321
Keep this to yourself
and I'll get you some laxatives.
605
00:43:35,404 --> 00:43:38,116
- I don't... I don't use...
- Come on, I know you want them.
606
00:43:39,158 --> 00:43:41,911
You think I haven't seen
that thing that you do?
607
00:43:41,994 --> 00:43:43,454
What thing?
608
00:43:46,791 --> 00:43:50,628
Making sure your arm doesn't get bigger
than, what, a silver dollar?
609
00:43:53,714 --> 00:43:54,715
Deal.
610
00:44:20,700 --> 00:44:21,909
Cigarette for dinner.
611
00:44:23,286 --> 00:44:25,538
- That's not gonna get you points.
- Not in the mood.
612
00:44:27,290 --> 00:44:28,290
Okay.
613
00:44:31,919 --> 00:44:34,964
And who in hell made you
house den mother?
614
00:44:35,047 --> 00:44:37,425
You walk around here
like you've got it all figured out.
615
00:44:37,508 --> 00:44:39,177
Well, if you're so fixed and special,
616
00:44:39,260 --> 00:44:41,137
why don't you go back
to New Jersey or London
617
00:44:41,220 --> 00:44:42,541
or wherever the fuck you're from?
618
00:44:42,597 --> 00:44:46,559
I am going back,
as soon as my BMI's closer to my age.
619
00:44:46,642 --> 00:44:48,728
But right now,
I'd rather try and help people
620
00:44:48,811 --> 00:44:50,479
than mope about feeling sorry for myself.
621
00:44:50,563 --> 00:44:52,440
You have no idea how I'm feeling.
622
00:44:52,523 --> 00:44:55,610
- I never said I did.
- And what? You wanna help people?
623
00:44:55,693 --> 00:44:57,236
What are you, a doctor now?
624
00:44:57,320 --> 00:45:00,698
- You feel pretty proud of yourself?
- Yeah, I am, actually.
625
00:45:00,781 --> 00:45:03,534
I'm moving the needle
in the right direction.
626
00:45:03,618 --> 00:45:05,161
Sorry if that scares you.
627
00:45:05,244 --> 00:45:07,997
But people actually go home sometimes
and have a life,
628
00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:10,291
even people with fucked-up families.
629
00:45:12,126 --> 00:45:15,671
Yeah. There goes
that fucking excuse again, huh?
630
00:46:11,727 --> 00:46:12,727
Enter.
631
00:46:14,647 --> 00:46:15,815
Hey.
632
00:46:18,275 --> 00:46:22,530
- Hey.
- Don't be all pleased with yourself.
633
00:46:22,613 --> 00:46:26,409
Wow. I never thought I'd meet anyone
more defensive than I am.
634
00:46:26,492 --> 00:46:27,492
And yet...
635
00:46:28,953 --> 00:46:30,287
So, you've been here awhile.
636
00:46:32,039 --> 00:46:33,040
Six months.
637
00:46:34,709 --> 00:46:38,004
- Is that you?
- Hard to believe, I know.
638
00:46:38,087 --> 00:46:42,508
I didn't mean that...
Yeah, I can tell that it's you.
639
00:46:42,591 --> 00:46:44,719
Incredible.
640
00:46:44,802 --> 00:46:48,597
You know what it's like to be 19
and feel like you've already peaked?
641
00:46:48,681 --> 00:46:49,807
Um, a relief.
642
00:46:52,018 --> 00:46:57,982
No. I loved it.
I could push it and push it.
643
00:46:58,065 --> 00:47:01,569
And then I broke
and went batshit, obviously.
644
00:47:02,862 --> 00:47:06,073
But my knee's getting better,
and my company director says
645
00:47:06,157 --> 00:47:09,660
he'll have a place for me
as soon as I get my act together, so...
646
00:47:09,744 --> 00:47:12,288
- It's my drawing.
- Yeah.
647
00:47:13,539 --> 00:47:16,709
I printed it off your Tumblr,
like, a year ago.
648
00:47:16,792 --> 00:47:19,712
That's why I acted like such a spaz
when you first got here.
649
00:47:19,795 --> 00:47:21,547
- You're like my...
- You're muse?
650
00:47:21,630 --> 00:47:22,673
Shut up.
651
00:47:25,426 --> 00:47:27,845
I just figured, somebody so talented,
652
00:47:27,928 --> 00:47:30,931
I had to be brilliantly charming
to get you to like me.
653
00:47:31,015 --> 00:47:34,435
- Well, you overshot.
- I'm aware.
654
00:47:35,478 --> 00:47:38,647
In my defense, though,
I've been running on empty for so long
655
00:47:38,731 --> 00:47:43,027
that when I actually eat now,
I get this crazy burst of energy.
656
00:47:43,110 --> 00:47:47,239
- That's why you're so weird.
- I'm always weird. That's why I'm...
657
00:47:48,657 --> 00:47:49,700
assertive.
658
00:47:51,035 --> 00:47:58,417
How do you do it? Eat.
I mean, I see you, and I just... I get...
659
00:47:58,501 --> 00:48:03,756
I get all panicky even thinking about it,
like, the world is gonna fall apart.
660
00:48:03,839 --> 00:48:08,552
I feel that way. But you know,
feel the fear and do it anyway.
661
00:48:08,636 --> 00:48:11,263
Yeah, but aren't you scared
you won't be able to stop?
662
00:48:11,347 --> 00:48:13,682
- That you're just gonna...
- Be like one of those guys
663
00:48:13,766 --> 00:48:17,103
who has to be lifted out of his bed
with a crane?
664
00:48:17,186 --> 00:48:20,189
Yeah, but Dr. Beck says
that's not gonna happen, so...
665
00:48:20,272 --> 00:48:24,026
- Yeah, but he has to say that.
- Well, he's pretty straight-up.
666
00:48:24,110 --> 00:48:26,695
Plus, I'm not gonna lie.
I'm really fuckin' hungry.
667
00:48:27,822 --> 00:48:30,157
Like, two years worth of hungry.
668
00:48:32,076 --> 00:48:36,205
Whenever I can't sleep, I draw food.
669
00:48:36,288 --> 00:48:38,958
Oh, yeah? Like... what?
670
00:48:39,041 --> 00:48:42,169
- Do you know what a Goo Goo Cluster is?
- Oh, my God.
671
00:48:43,379 --> 00:48:46,757
Yeah, greatest candy bar ever.
672
00:48:46,841 --> 00:48:51,679
Peanuty, marshmallowy greatness.
673
00:48:51,762 --> 00:48:55,599
Oh, it's 240 calories there,
110 from fat.
674
00:48:55,683 --> 00:48:57,852
Whoa. Calorie Asperger's.
675
00:48:59,019 --> 00:49:03,149
- Maybe.
- My last meal would be a whole box of 'em.
676
00:49:03,232 --> 00:49:07,278
Oh, yeah?
How would you eat them? Show me.
677
00:49:10,698 --> 00:49:11,740
You wish.
678
00:49:13,742 --> 00:49:16,704
Um, right. Well, I'd better...
679
00:49:16,787 --> 00:49:18,122
Right, right, right. Yes.
680
00:49:19,373 --> 00:49:21,709
- See you tomorrow?
- Where else would I be?
681
00:49:23,127 --> 00:49:24,127
Good night.
682
00:49:28,465 --> 00:49:29,465
Epic.
683
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:36,223
Step on.
684
00:49:36,307 --> 00:49:38,726
- Unless you wanna face the other way.
- No, I'm good.
685
00:49:40,144 --> 00:49:42,479
I didn't sew rocks into my panties,
if you're worried.
686
00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:44,523
I'm not.
687
00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:55,201
Step off.
688
00:49:57,620 --> 00:49:59,622
Wow, that's bad.
689
00:50:02,249 --> 00:50:05,252
You know what the body burns
after there's no more fat?
690
00:50:05,336 --> 00:50:08,964
Muscle. Organ tissue.
691
00:50:09,048 --> 00:50:11,648
Pretty soon, you're gonna be
flopping around like a boneless fish.
692
00:50:13,510 --> 00:50:16,513
Thanks for that.
Yeah, I'm scared straight.
693
00:50:20,351 --> 00:50:21,852
Anna, you're next!
694
00:50:26,565 --> 00:50:27,900
I want a baby dragon.
695
00:50:35,032 --> 00:50:37,243
- Megan?
- Huh?
696
00:50:37,326 --> 00:50:40,204
- What do you think?
- It's good.
697
00:50:40,287 --> 00:50:41,747
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
698
00:50:41,830 --> 00:50:42,915
Okay, I'll finish it.
699
00:50:45,542 --> 00:50:47,044
I told her not to.
700
00:50:50,381 --> 00:50:51,882
You feel anything?
701
00:50:54,176 --> 00:50:55,176
Not yet.
702
00:50:56,053 --> 00:51:01,517
I like what you said before...
about thinking more about somebody else.
703
00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:02,643
Yeah.
704
00:51:04,395 --> 00:51:09,817
I think that's what being a mom
is supposed to be about... you know?
705
00:51:09,900 --> 00:51:13,487
- Putting the kid first.
- Yeah.
706
00:51:13,570 --> 00:51:17,074
Yeah, it's not like I know
what I'm talking about, but...
707
00:51:17,157 --> 00:51:19,743
No, I... I think you do.
708
00:51:30,504 --> 00:51:31,504
Huh.
709
00:51:35,551 --> 00:51:37,177
Good evening, ladies.
710
00:51:37,261 --> 00:51:39,096
- Good evening.
- Hi, Luke.
711
00:51:39,179 --> 00:51:41,724
Oh, wh...
712
00:51:41,807 --> 00:51:44,560
What is...? What's that noise?
713
00:51:44,643 --> 00:51:48,814
You hear that?
It's so weird. I feel like there's, uh...
714
00:51:48,897 --> 00:51:51,150
Oh...
715
00:51:51,233 --> 00:51:52,693
Oh.
716
00:51:57,114 --> 00:51:58,866
You know you want it.
717
00:51:58,949 --> 00:52:00,617
Shh!
718
00:52:00,701 --> 00:52:03,370
Okay, don't make it a sex thing.
719
00:52:03,454 --> 00:52:06,206
It is a sex thing. Don't pretend it's not.
720
00:52:07,207 --> 00:52:08,207
Ready?
721
00:52:10,085 --> 00:52:11,337
Oh...
722
00:52:15,007 --> 00:52:16,133
Oh, there it is.
723
00:52:17,176 --> 00:52:19,470
- I... I can't.
- You can.
724
00:52:19,553 --> 00:52:25,726
Chew, swallow.
The world will not implode, I swear.
725
00:52:26,852 --> 00:52:29,855
Come on, do it.
726
00:52:29,938 --> 00:52:30,939
Do it.
727
00:52:33,734 --> 00:52:34,735
Do it.
728
00:52:40,491 --> 00:52:43,285
- God.
- Right?
729
00:52:43,369 --> 00:52:44,661
- Hmm.
- Touch it.
730
00:52:44,745 --> 00:52:47,414
We can hear you, freak.
731
00:52:47,498 --> 00:52:52,378
- Yeah, freak, don't be so gross.
- Come on, just a little. Get it on you.
732
00:52:52,461 --> 00:52:55,089
Come on, get it on you.
733
00:53:00,928 --> 00:53:02,971
Right? Okay.
734
00:53:03,055 --> 00:53:06,767
Now, a little bite... for me.
735
00:53:07,935 --> 00:53:09,895
- For you?
- Mm-hmm.
736
00:53:09,978 --> 00:53:13,315
I didn't even like you
until five minutes ago, so, like...
737
00:53:13,399 --> 00:53:16,652
- Maybe just, you know, not...
- You like me.
738
00:53:16,735 --> 00:53:18,278
- You like me.
- Shut up.
739
00:53:18,362 --> 00:53:19,988
- She likes me.
- Shut up.
740
00:53:20,072 --> 00:53:23,200
- Don't press your luck.
- She likes me. You like me.
741
00:53:23,283 --> 00:53:24,743
- Take a bite.
- Can we be done?
742
00:53:24,827 --> 00:53:27,913
- You like me. Come on. Have a little bite.
- Okay, seriously, back off!
743
00:53:31,291 --> 00:53:32,334
God...
744
00:53:35,379 --> 00:53:37,172
Coward.
745
00:53:39,174 --> 00:53:41,552
Tomorrow, you bite.
746
00:53:50,769 --> 00:53:52,479
Luke just made me touch chocolate.
747
00:53:54,523 --> 00:53:58,068
- He's so weird.
- He's totally weird sometimes.
748
00:54:05,826 --> 00:54:10,080
I think the baby just moved.
Smell that. Yeah, get in on that.
749
00:54:10,164 --> 00:54:13,667
- Is anybody watching this movie?
- Nobody cares about dragons.
750
00:54:13,750 --> 00:54:16,170
How are you doing
after family therapy?
751
00:54:16,253 --> 00:54:18,653
It's pretty much how it always is
when my folks are together.
752
00:54:18,714 --> 00:54:21,008
- Minus your dad.
- Like I said.
753
00:54:22,217 --> 00:54:25,220
But I don't feel as bad
as I thought I was going to.
754
00:54:25,304 --> 00:54:26,388
Why do you think that is?
755
00:54:27,806 --> 00:54:29,847
I'm getting to know
some of the people in the house.
756
00:54:30,934 --> 00:54:33,187
Some of them actually seem
like they're doing okay.
757
00:54:33,270 --> 00:54:36,940
- I hope so.
- No, I mean, really okay.
758
00:54:38,567 --> 00:54:42,613
Like they might get lives
and be semi-interesting people.
759
00:54:42,696 --> 00:54:46,325
Did you just say
something vaguely optimistic?
760
00:54:46,408 --> 00:54:47,701
I did say "semi"...
761
00:54:49,244 --> 00:54:50,787
but... yeah.
762
00:54:54,958 --> 00:54:57,169
- So, the family...
- Can I be honest?
763
00:54:57,252 --> 00:55:01,131
I've talked about my dad,
all that family stuff.
764
00:55:02,341 --> 00:55:04,551
I have issues. Whatever.
765
00:55:05,552 --> 00:55:08,055
Talk is not helping.
766
00:55:08,138 --> 00:55:09,681
I think you're right.
767
00:55:10,724 --> 00:55:14,144
- Really?
- Generally, I just need a few facts.
768
00:55:14,228 --> 00:55:16,021
And we're never doing
family therapy again.
769
00:55:16,104 --> 00:55:20,817
It doesn't seem to be useful here.
That was a shit-show.
770
00:55:21,860 --> 00:55:24,821
- Yeah, that's what my sister said.
- I liked her.
771
00:55:24,905 --> 00:55:28,492
- Yeah, me too. We get along great.
- I could tell.
772
00:55:28,575 --> 00:55:32,496
She was the only one who had something
to say that wasn't entirely self-serving.
773
00:55:32,579 --> 00:55:33,580
Yeah.
774
00:55:36,500 --> 00:55:39,545
- Now, I'm gonna be honest with you.
- Uh-oh.
775
00:55:41,171 --> 00:55:44,258
- I'm not crazy about your name.
- What?
776
00:55:44,341 --> 00:55:47,219
"Ellen" doesn't suit you.
It's too old-fashioned.
777
00:55:48,428 --> 00:55:51,098
- I've never really liked it.
- So, change it.
778
00:55:51,181 --> 00:55:52,849
I can't just change it.
779
00:55:54,893 --> 00:55:55,936
I can't, right?
780
00:55:56,019 --> 00:55:58,647
Just tell people to call you
by a different name.
781
00:55:58,730 --> 00:56:01,191
Or, if you wanna make it legal,
you can fill out a form online
782
00:56:01,275 --> 00:56:02,609
in about ten minutes.
783
00:56:04,236 --> 00:56:05,654
I was thinking "Ellie."
784
00:56:06,697 --> 00:56:10,367
- Ooh...
- That's no good. No.
785
00:56:10,450 --> 00:56:12,077
How about...
786
00:56:13,287 --> 00:56:14,496
"Eli"?
787
00:56:23,422 --> 00:56:24,464
Call me "Eli."
788
00:56:28,427 --> 00:56:31,179
- You get your iPad?
- Oh, yeah.
789
00:56:31,263 --> 00:56:33,849
The world opens up
beyond your wildest dreams
790
00:56:33,932 --> 00:56:35,309
when you put on some LBs.
791
00:56:36,351 --> 00:56:38,103
- Eli?
- Yeah.
792
00:56:38,186 --> 00:56:40,397
Don't tell me you're gay now, too.
793
00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:44,359
The male population cannot take
another quality defection.
794
00:56:44,443 --> 00:56:47,571
- Most definitely not gay.
- Thank God.
795
00:56:47,654 --> 00:56:53,577
No, "Eli" is a... new name for me.
796
00:56:53,660 --> 00:56:55,912
Ellen... Eli...
797
00:56:55,996 --> 00:57:00,334
Hm, I like it. It's very... George Sand.
798
00:57:03,962 --> 00:57:06,757
You're dazzling. You know that, Eli?
799
00:57:08,383 --> 00:57:14,222
So, I'm officially inviting Eli
to my dinner out tomorrow night.
800
00:57:14,306 --> 00:57:16,725
As part of my reward,
I can take anyone I want.
801
00:57:16,808 --> 00:57:19,061
Um, I'm not really restaurant ready,
but thanks.
802
00:57:19,144 --> 00:57:23,982
It can be your pick. It doesn't even have
to be on Mr. Gold's essential 100.
803
00:57:24,066 --> 00:57:26,193
No, you should take someone
who bites and chews...
804
00:57:26,276 --> 00:57:28,487
We can walk there.
805
00:57:28,570 --> 00:57:34,409
All the way to Hollywood or wherever,
and you don't have to eat.
806
00:57:37,496 --> 00:57:38,538
Can I run?
807
00:57:40,165 --> 00:57:45,921
- I don't run, psycho. My knee, remember?
- Well, can you walk fast?
808
00:57:46,004 --> 00:57:48,465
I read that it doesn't matter
how fast you walk.
809
00:57:48,548 --> 00:57:50,801
It's distance.
You burn the same amount of calories.
810
00:57:50,884 --> 00:57:53,679
- That's bullshit.
- Will you just slow down a little?
811
00:57:53,762 --> 00:57:55,514
I'm not even going that fast.
812
00:57:55,597 --> 00:57:56,765
Um...
813
00:57:56,848 --> 00:58:00,310
I will have the number 12
with the rice and the egg roll.
814
00:58:00,394 --> 00:58:02,187
Mm-hmm.
815
00:58:02,270 --> 00:58:03,814
Can I have the Tom Turn Kai soup?
816
00:58:03,897 --> 00:58:05,941
- It comes with your entrée.
- Oh, that's all...
817
00:58:06,024 --> 00:58:08,402
She'll have the number 12, too,
with the egg roll.
818
00:58:08,485 --> 00:58:09,403
No.
819
00:58:09,486 --> 00:58:10,862
- Yes.
- No.
820
00:58:10,946 --> 00:58:13,991
She'll have the number 12, too,
with the egg roll.
821
00:58:15,367 --> 00:58:17,744
- And to drink?
- We'll have two Tsingtao.
822
00:58:18,996 --> 00:58:19,996
Your ID?
823
00:58:24,543 --> 00:58:30,257
I... I don't wanna put you
on the spot or anything, um...
824
00:58:30,340 --> 00:58:31,591
but we're from the hospice.
825
00:58:34,094 --> 00:58:35,137
For cancer.
826
00:58:38,181 --> 00:58:40,058
Um...
827
00:58:40,142 --> 00:58:43,854
- I'm sorry. I can't serve you without ID.
- It's just, um...
828
00:58:44,855 --> 00:58:46,273
This is our first date.
829
00:58:48,358 --> 00:58:51,528
It's maybe our only date. I just...
830
00:58:52,779 --> 00:58:55,198
I don't know. I wanted it to be special.
831
00:59:04,374 --> 00:59:06,376
Thank you very much.
832
00:59:11,298 --> 00:59:14,801
We can pick a different disease
for different restaurants.
833
00:59:14,885 --> 00:59:16,678
You're so sick.
834
00:59:16,762 --> 00:59:18,346
- We both are, actually.
- Yeah.
835
00:59:22,392 --> 00:59:25,645
I put it in there
so nobody would ask questions.
836
00:59:25,729 --> 00:59:29,316
- Thank you. Thank you so much.
- Yeah.
837
00:59:41,995 --> 00:59:44,247
You are so wrong.
838
00:59:50,545 --> 00:59:52,047
- Hmm?
- Mm-hmm.
839
00:59:52,130 --> 00:59:54,966
- Bite.
- I don't like egg rolls.
840
00:59:55,050 --> 00:59:56,510
Who doesn't like egg rolls?
841
00:59:56,593 --> 00:59:59,679
Chew and spit if you wanna be lame,
but you look thinner.
842
00:59:59,763 --> 01:00:01,431
If I taste it, will you leave me alone?
843
01:00:01,515 --> 01:00:04,476
If you taste everything,
I will leave you alone.
844
01:00:06,520 --> 01:00:09,815
Oh, yeah. So good.
845
01:00:09,898 --> 01:00:11,233
- Yeah.
- Mm.
846
01:00:13,110 --> 01:00:15,612
- Mm!
- Right? It's good, right?
847
01:00:15,695 --> 01:00:17,823
Uh-huh. Mm.
848
01:00:17,906 --> 01:00:19,950
- Swallow that egg roll.
- Blegh!
849
01:00:20,033 --> 01:00:21,159
Oh...
850
01:00:23,328 --> 01:00:24,328
Oh!
851
01:00:25,914 --> 01:00:30,210
Jesus Christ.
That was a thing of great beauty.
852
01:00:31,336 --> 01:00:34,005
- That's super hot.
- I know. It's what I was going for.
853
01:00:35,090 --> 01:00:38,969
So, I find out I can pull
the patient ID thing all the way up my arm
854
01:00:39,052 --> 01:00:40,595
and hide it underneath my T-shirt,
855
01:00:40,679 --> 01:00:45,225
and I just get out past
the nurse's station, I just walk out.
856
01:00:45,308 --> 01:00:48,145
- Where were you even going?
- The beach?
857
01:00:49,938 --> 01:00:51,731
I don't even know.
858
01:00:51,815 --> 01:00:54,651
But there I am,
just jogging down Wilshire Boulevard.
859
01:00:55,861 --> 01:00:57,988
I'm a full-on crazy person,
860
01:00:58,071 --> 01:01:02,367
and I'm jogging at the light...
when my mom drives up.
861
01:01:02,450 --> 01:01:05,871
- She was on the way to the hospital.
- Oh, my God.
862
01:01:05,954 --> 01:01:06,955
You don't like it?
863
01:01:11,001 --> 01:01:13,128
No, I do. It's just, um...
864
01:01:13,211 --> 01:01:17,215
She... She just gets a bit nauseous
because of, um...
865
01:01:18,633 --> 01:01:20,385
the chemo.
866
01:01:20,468 --> 01:01:24,181
But it tastes really good.
The beer really helps.
867
01:01:25,557 --> 01:01:29,436
- I'll get you another one, no charge.
- Thank you very much.
868
01:01:31,813 --> 01:01:34,274
- Yes.
- Oh, my God.
869
01:01:34,357 --> 01:01:36,985
- No charge.
- Oh, my God, we're going to hell.
870
01:01:37,068 --> 01:01:38,862
Yeah.
871
01:01:42,449 --> 01:01:46,578
- Did he try to kiss you?
- Ew! Does he even like girls?
872
01:01:46,661 --> 01:01:47,996
No.
873
01:01:50,290 --> 01:01:51,875
I don't know.
874
01:01:59,424 --> 01:02:01,468
What I'm trying to say is,
875
01:02:01,551 --> 01:02:04,679
why does she get to leave the house
when she's only level two?
876
01:02:04,763 --> 01:02:07,766
- It was Luke's night out.
- Yeah, but Ellen got to go.
877
01:02:07,849 --> 01:02:08,975
It's "Eli" now.
878
01:02:11,144 --> 01:02:14,144
It might make you feel better to know
that Dr. Beck scheduled a special trip
879
01:02:14,189 --> 01:02:15,941
for you guys in a couple of days.
880
01:02:16,024 --> 01:02:18,735
- Tell me it's not the Holocaust Museum.
- No.
881
01:02:18,818 --> 01:02:22,697
My mother took me there to make me
feel shitty, you know, about starving.
882
01:02:26,493 --> 01:02:27,827
It's okay. We're Jewish.
883
01:02:35,043 --> 01:02:38,296
Damn, Dr. Beck.
Are you trying to turn me straight?
884
01:02:39,673 --> 01:02:41,258
That's a different program.
885
01:02:41,341 --> 01:02:43,426
- Hi, everyone.
- Hey!
886
01:02:43,510 --> 01:02:47,305
Okay, so this place we're going, I had
to pull some strings to get us in there,
887
01:02:47,389 --> 01:02:48,848
so you have to behave.
888
01:02:48,932 --> 01:02:50,517
Tell us. I can't stand it.
889
01:02:51,643 --> 01:02:52,811
Tell us!
890
01:02:52,894 --> 01:02:54,813
Tell us! Tell us!
891
01:02:54,896 --> 01:02:57,148
Tell us! Tell us! Tell us!
892
01:03:00,819 --> 01:03:02,112
I don't like this.
893
01:03:02,195 --> 01:03:05,657
I'm definitely getting a Holocaust vibe,
doc.
894
01:03:05,740 --> 01:03:09,286
- It's okay, I promise.
- I don't believe you.
895
01:03:23,466 --> 01:03:24,801
What is it?
896
01:03:27,554 --> 01:03:28,596
Art.
897
01:03:36,062 --> 01:03:38,565
Somebody tell me why we're here!
898
01:03:44,863 --> 01:03:46,114
Because we're alive.
899
01:03:47,699 --> 01:03:49,743
Very good.
900
01:05:49,779 --> 01:05:51,573
Here you go.
901
01:05:51,656 --> 01:05:53,199
You're shaking like a chihuahua.
902
01:06:15,430 --> 01:06:16,890
I know what you're trying to do.
903
01:06:19,225 --> 01:06:22,979
Life's beautiful and all that... shit.
904
01:06:24,814 --> 01:06:26,983
And that upsets you because...?
905
01:06:29,819 --> 01:06:31,029
Because it is.
906
01:06:34,365 --> 01:06:40,914
I mean, I... I know it can be,
but I... I can't stop.
907
01:06:42,248 --> 01:06:48,546
And I don't even know why.
I just... I just can't.
908
01:06:48,630 --> 01:06:54,177
Yeah, that's bullshit.
That voice that says you can't.
909
01:06:54,260 --> 01:06:57,347
Every time you hear that voice,
I want you to tell it to fuck off.
910
01:06:58,723 --> 01:07:03,353
- Fuck off, voice!
- Yeah! Fuck off!
911
01:07:03,436 --> 01:07:05,772
- Fuck you, voice!
- Fuck you, voice!
912
01:07:05,855 --> 01:07:07,607
- Fuck you, voice!
- Fuck off!
913
01:07:08,733 --> 01:07:10,360
Fuck!
914
01:07:10,443 --> 01:07:13,321
Yeah! Whoo!
915
01:07:13,404 --> 01:07:14,739
Yeah! Yeah!
916
01:07:14,822 --> 01:07:16,199
Fuck off.
917
01:07:27,252 --> 01:07:30,004
- That's what they always say.
- I know.
918
01:07:30,088 --> 01:07:32,215
- What are you... ooh!
- I'll go blueberry.
919
01:07:32,298 --> 01:07:33,424
I didn't say...
920
01:08:11,546 --> 01:08:13,548
Try not to look too pleased
with yourself.
921
01:08:22,390 --> 01:08:25,602
Mm-hmm.
922
01:08:25,685 --> 01:08:27,353
"Cassidy." That's her name.
923
01:08:30,356 --> 01:08:32,150
Um...
924
01:08:32,233 --> 01:08:37,155
It's a girl, and today
she is 12 weeks and one day old.
925
01:08:37,238 --> 01:08:39,949
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God.
926
01:08:43,036 --> 01:08:45,705
Can we have the baby shower now?
927
01:08:45,788 --> 01:08:50,418
Yes, but I...
Just don't be a spaz about it, okay?
928
01:08:50,501 --> 01:08:52,211
- Okay. Sorry.
- Don't go...
929
01:08:52,295 --> 01:08:54,297
She's gonna have ponies everywhere.
930
01:08:54,380 --> 01:08:55,548
Ta-da!
931
01:08:55,632 --> 01:08:57,634
Oh, yeah.
932
01:08:57,717 --> 01:08:58,760
Amazing.
933
01:09:03,181 --> 01:09:05,475
I mean, that's one sassy unicorn.
934
01:09:06,517 --> 01:09:08,061
I can't believe you drew that for her.
935
01:09:09,896 --> 01:09:11,981
- You're welcome.
- It's awesome.
936
01:09:13,358 --> 01:09:16,361
Um, I love you guys and thank you.
937
01:09:16,444 --> 01:09:17,820
Cheers.
938
01:09:38,424 --> 01:09:39,342
Whee!
939
01:09:40,802 --> 01:09:42,512
- It's so crazy.
- It's so high.
940
01:09:42,595 --> 01:09:44,389
- I'm actually quite terrified.
- Oh, my God.
941
01:09:44,472 --> 01:09:46,224
- Fifty feet up.
- Here we go.
942
01:09:46,307 --> 01:09:49,268
Whoa. Whoa!
943
01:09:49,352 --> 01:09:53,272
- All right, now it's your turn.
- No, I'd better not.
944
01:09:53,356 --> 01:09:56,109
- Fucking knee.
- That knee.
945
01:09:59,195 --> 01:10:00,238
Yup.
946
01:10:15,002 --> 01:10:16,003
Sorry.
947
01:10:19,006 --> 01:10:21,217
Did somebody bad touch you
as a kid or something?
948
01:10:22,677 --> 01:10:25,221
- It's a big rexie thing.
- No.
949
01:10:26,973 --> 01:10:28,641
Not really.
950
01:10:28,725 --> 01:10:31,894
Hmm. Let's talk about that "really."
951
01:10:35,648 --> 01:10:36,899
Just normal shit.
952
01:10:39,402 --> 01:10:42,488
The second you get boobs,
it's like open season.
953
01:10:44,240 --> 01:10:48,119
You guys are pretty disgusting that way.
954
01:10:48,202 --> 01:10:50,788
We could at least
have some manners about it.
955
01:10:50,872 --> 01:10:53,583
Not rub up against you guys
on the bus.
956
01:10:53,666 --> 01:10:55,251
Oh, bus rubbing.
957
01:10:56,627 --> 01:11:02,425
Titty grabbing... gross dirty talk...
night stalking...
958
01:11:02,508 --> 01:11:06,137
You're all basically just a bunch
of portable holes for men to fuck.
959
01:11:07,430 --> 01:11:09,140
Hmm.
960
01:11:09,223 --> 01:11:11,726
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
961
01:11:11,809 --> 01:11:14,979
So... have you... done it?
962
01:11:15,980 --> 01:11:19,275
Or... was it just too appalling?
963
01:11:23,279 --> 01:11:24,781
Entirely too appalling.
964
01:11:27,116 --> 01:11:28,534
Ever had an orgasm?
965
01:11:30,161 --> 01:11:32,330
- Um... God!
- Sorry.
966
01:11:32,413 --> 01:11:35,249
- You don't have to answer that.
- Personal.
967
01:11:35,333 --> 01:11:39,837
It's different for guys, you know.
It's... It's very different.
968
01:11:39,921 --> 01:11:42,882
There it is... bobbing at you.
969
01:11:44,217 --> 01:11:48,346
Just bobbing,
begging to be manhandled.
970
01:11:50,014 --> 01:11:52,225
That's... That's way too much information.
971
01:11:52,308 --> 01:11:55,561
Not right now, but it could be.
972
01:11:57,063 --> 01:11:58,439
I just...
973
01:11:58,523 --> 01:12:00,191
- Okay.
- I...
974
01:12:01,609 --> 01:12:04,737
I need to do my research. And you...
975
01:12:07,198 --> 01:12:11,828
need to be touched by someone
who actually cares about you.
976
01:12:14,163 --> 01:12:15,163
Luke...
977
01:12:39,897 --> 01:12:41,357
I'm falling in love with you.
978
01:12:43,442 --> 01:12:47,530
- God! Luke, really? I...
- I'm sorry.
979
01:12:47,613 --> 01:12:50,950
- No, sorry, it's just...
- No, you're right.
980
01:12:51,033 --> 01:12:53,786
It'll be like slapping
two bags of bones together anyway.
981
01:12:55,288 --> 01:12:58,541
- We should go back inside.
- Hey! What the fuck?
982
01:12:59,876 --> 01:13:01,752
What the fuck what?
983
01:13:01,836 --> 01:13:04,547
Suddenly, you decide
this is a physical thing,
984
01:13:04,630 --> 01:13:06,632
and I'm caught by surprise,
985
01:13:06,716 --> 01:13:09,927
and now you're just gonna go pout
and make this my fault?
986
01:13:10,011 --> 01:13:12,722
All right, I'm sorry.
Obviously, it was a bad idea.
987
01:13:12,805 --> 01:13:16,809
I just thought, if you knew
I wanted it to be good or different...
988
01:13:16,893 --> 01:13:18,895
And you're falling in love with me?
989
01:13:18,978 --> 01:13:22,565
Okay, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to unleash the Kraken.
990
01:13:22,648 --> 01:13:26,819
- I've known you for, like, three weeks.
- Well, I've known you for two years.
991
01:13:26,903 --> 01:13:29,363
Your drawing,
the way you see things...
992
01:13:29,447 --> 01:13:32,658
Yeah? Oh, okay.
993
01:13:32,742 --> 01:13:38,664
This rexie girl, who saw my stuff
on Tumblr, liked the way I saw... so much,
994
01:13:38,748 --> 01:13:43,044
that when she slit her wrists,
she left me the fucking note.
995
01:13:44,795 --> 01:13:46,422
And you know what her parents did?
996
01:13:47,882 --> 01:13:52,511
They sent me pictures...
so I'd really know what I'd done.
997
01:13:57,016 --> 01:13:58,768
People say they love you...
998
01:14:00,144 --> 01:14:01,187
but what they mean is,
999
01:14:01,270 --> 01:14:05,900
they love how loving you
makes them feel about themselves.
1000
01:14:05,983 --> 01:14:11,072
Or... Or they love
what they can take from you.
1001
01:14:11,155 --> 01:14:14,867
I don't even know where to start
with that. That's all kinds of wrong.
1002
01:14:16,452 --> 01:14:17,495
I'm done.
1003
01:14:18,496 --> 01:14:23,125
Okay, all right, you win!
All right? You're the queen of darkness.
1004
01:14:24,460 --> 01:14:25,878
Hey, come on!
1005
01:14:58,202 --> 01:15:00,538
- Megan!
- Megan?
1006
01:15:00,621 --> 01:15:03,082
Megan! Megan, it's Luke! Let me in!
1007
01:15:17,388 --> 01:15:20,391
I thought I was safe.
1008
01:15:21,726 --> 01:15:23,602
I know, I know.
1009
01:15:25,730 --> 01:15:27,481
It's gonna be okay.
1010
01:15:29,984 --> 01:15:31,235
I know. I'm sorry.
1011
01:15:32,778 --> 01:15:34,989
Guys, go back to bed.
1012
01:15:53,090 --> 01:15:55,384
Can you push a baby out
by throwing up too hard?
1013
01:15:57,011 --> 01:16:01,807
Yeah, that's exactly how it happens.
Don't be an idiot.
1014
01:16:05,352 --> 01:16:06,937
Good morning.
1015
01:16:07,021 --> 01:16:08,314
- Good morning.
- Hi.
1016
01:16:10,691 --> 01:16:11,984
How's Megan?
1017
01:16:12,068 --> 01:16:17,490
She's at the hospital.
She's fine now, physically.
1018
01:16:19,992 --> 01:16:22,411
She's not sure she wants
to come back here...
1019
01:16:23,871 --> 01:16:25,081
which I understand.
1020
01:16:26,457 --> 01:16:27,666
Can we visit her?
1021
01:16:29,168 --> 01:16:33,005
Not yet, but I think, in a few days,
that's exactly what she needs.
1022
01:16:33,089 --> 01:16:34,089
I wanna go home.
1023
01:16:36,050 --> 01:16:37,134
I bet you do.
1024
01:16:39,136 --> 01:16:45,017
Listen. Bad things are going to happen.
That's not negotiable.
1025
01:16:46,268 --> 01:16:48,854
What is, is how you deal with it.
1026
01:16:56,112 --> 01:16:57,113
Would you read this?
1027
01:16:58,531 --> 01:17:00,366
- Do I have to?
- No.
1028
01:17:02,201 --> 01:17:03,202
Okay.
1029
01:17:13,587 --> 01:17:16,048
'"Courage' by Anne Sexton.
1030
01:17:19,176 --> 01:17:22,221
It is in the small things that we see it.
1031
01:17:22,304 --> 01:17:27,059
The child's first step,
as awesome as an earthquake.
1032
01:17:27,143 --> 01:17:31,272
The first time you rode a bike,
wallowing up the sidewalk.
1033
01:17:31,355 --> 01:17:35,860
The first spanking, when your heart
went on a journey all alone.
1034
01:17:35,943 --> 01:17:40,906
When they called you 'crybaby'
or 'poor' or 'fatty' or 'crazy'...
1035
01:17:40,990 --> 01:17:43,242
and made you into an alien...
1036
01:17:43,325 --> 01:17:45,744
you drank their acid
and you concealed it."
1037
01:17:50,457 --> 01:17:55,421
"Later, if you faced
the death of bombs and bullets...
1038
01:17:56,422 --> 01:17:58,716
you did not do it with a banner.
1039
01:17:58,799 --> 01:18:01,802
You did it with only a hat
to cover your heart.
1040
01:18:02,970 --> 01:18:06,599
You did not fondle the weakness inside you
though it was there.
1041
01:18:09,727 --> 01:18:12,980
Your courage was a small coal
that you kept swallowing."
1042
01:18:22,531 --> 01:18:24,325
So, Megan did decide to go home.
1043
01:18:29,914 --> 01:18:31,665
Anybody wanna talk about that?
1044
01:18:35,586 --> 01:18:38,547
It's her fault. She was purging.
1045
01:18:41,050 --> 01:18:45,471
I think Megan wanted her baby.
I really think she did.
1046
01:18:45,554 --> 01:18:49,725
- We shouldn't have had the shower.
- No, I don't think it was that.
1047
01:18:53,771 --> 01:18:55,147
Eli, you and Luke found her.
1048
01:18:57,733 --> 01:18:58,984
That must have been hard.
1049
01:19:02,154 --> 01:19:03,989
That baby was never gonna make it.
1050
01:19:07,409 --> 01:19:11,413
- Where is Luke, anyway?
- He's at the doctor for his knee.
1051
01:19:15,668 --> 01:19:16,669
Eli?
1052
01:19:19,505 --> 01:19:20,631
Eli.
1053
01:19:22,967 --> 01:19:24,426
What's going on with you?
1054
01:19:25,678 --> 01:19:26,762
Nothing.
1055
01:19:27,972 --> 01:19:31,183
Lobo tells me you're about a day away
from getting the tube.
1056
01:19:32,643 --> 01:19:33,811
You've been making progress,
1057
01:19:33,894 --> 01:19:36,855
but you can't stay at Threshold
if you drop any more weight.
1058
01:19:40,025 --> 01:19:43,195
I just think it's so weird
that you know everything about me...
1059
01:19:44,488 --> 01:19:46,198
and I don't know anything about you.
1060
01:19:48,117 --> 01:19:51,120
Okay, what do you wanna know?
1061
01:19:52,538 --> 01:19:54,415
- Do you have a wife?
- No.
1062
01:19:55,541 --> 01:19:58,961
- Do you have kids?
- No.
1063
01:19:59,044 --> 01:20:01,547
So, what's your damage?
1064
01:20:01,630 --> 01:20:03,882
Short version, my work.
1065
01:20:05,092 --> 01:20:09,930
It takes up all my time,
and I... I like it that way.
1066
01:20:11,765 --> 01:20:14,601
Women generally wanna spend time
with somebody they date.
1067
01:20:15,686 --> 01:20:18,105
Sounds like
you're avoiding intimacy, doctor.
1068
01:20:21,358 --> 01:20:23,277
Yeah, I guess it does.
1069
01:20:26,697 --> 01:20:30,492
Lobo also tells me
that you and Luke aren't speaking.
1070
01:20:30,576 --> 01:20:32,995
It seemed like you and Luke
had something good going.
1071
01:20:33,078 --> 01:20:35,706
Whatever. He's totally gay.
1072
01:20:35,789 --> 01:20:39,335
That would be easier, right?
Then you could write him off.
1073
01:20:41,045 --> 01:20:44,089
- Does he talk to you about me?
- You know I can't answer that.
1074
01:20:52,514 --> 01:20:55,893
- I just don't see the point.
- In what?
1075
01:21:04,109 --> 01:21:05,611
There is no point.
1076
01:21:07,071 --> 01:21:10,407
Or at least, big picture,
we don't get to know what it is.
1077
01:21:10,491 --> 01:21:15,037
Why we live, why Megan lost the baby,
why that girl killed herself.
1078
01:21:15,120 --> 01:21:18,499
- You're not reassuring me, doctor.
- I can't reassure you.
1079
01:21:19,541 --> 01:21:22,920
This idea you have
that there's a way to be safe...
1080
01:21:23,003 --> 01:21:24,880
it's childish and cowardly.
1081
01:21:26,006 --> 01:21:29,802
It stops you from experiencing anything,
including anything good.
1082
01:21:29,885 --> 01:21:31,845
You don't think I feel bad enough already?
1083
01:21:33,138 --> 01:21:34,723
I know I'm messed up...
1084
01:21:36,225 --> 01:21:39,561
but you're supposed to teach me
how not to be.
1085
01:21:39,645 --> 01:21:41,814
You know how.
1086
01:21:41,897 --> 01:21:46,819
Stop waiting for life to be easy.
Stop hoping for somebody to save you.
1087
01:21:46,902 --> 01:21:49,863
You don't need
another person lying to you.
1088
01:21:49,947 --> 01:21:51,949
Things don't all add up.
1089
01:21:53,242 --> 01:21:55,786
But you're resilient.
1090
01:21:55,869 --> 01:22:00,124
Face some hard facts
and you could have an incredible life.
1091
01:22:02,709 --> 01:22:04,336
That's your pearl of wisdom?
1092
01:22:06,547 --> 01:22:08,048
Grow a pair?
1093
01:22:09,550 --> 01:22:13,679
That's a more concise way
of putting it. Yeah.
1094
01:22:17,057 --> 01:22:18,183
Unbelievable.
1095
01:22:19,893 --> 01:22:21,395
Fuck you.
1096
01:22:25,858 --> 01:22:29,445
- What's going on?
- Beck's messed up, you know that?
1097
01:22:29,528 --> 01:22:33,115
We all buy the hype,
but nobody here is getting any better.
1098
01:22:33,198 --> 01:22:36,910
- That's not true.
- Yeah? Megan's screwed.
1099
01:22:36,994 --> 01:22:39,663
Anna has a treasure chest of puke
under her bed.
1100
01:22:39,746 --> 01:22:42,166
You live in fucking Ponyland.
1101
01:22:42,249 --> 01:22:45,377
I'm about to get the tube,
and he doesn't even care.
1102
01:22:49,923 --> 01:22:50,966
Shit.
1103
01:22:52,176 --> 01:22:58,557
I need another surgery. That's it for me
and the illustrious Jersey Ballet.
1104
01:22:58,640 --> 01:22:59,850
Seriously?
1105
01:23:02,019 --> 01:23:06,190
Yeah. Come on, put your bag down.
Let's go get another cancer beer.
1106
01:23:06,273 --> 01:23:08,692
I can't. Sorry. I'm actually out of here.
1107
01:23:08,775 --> 01:23:10,152
Did you hear what I said?
1108
01:23:11,695 --> 01:23:15,157
I'm finished. And you're leaving?
1109
01:23:18,035 --> 01:23:19,995
I can't.
1110
01:23:20,078 --> 01:23:23,040
What, you think I didn't guess
my knee was fucked?
1111
01:23:24,333 --> 01:23:27,669
And now that I'm done
doing the one thing that makes me feel,
1112
01:23:27,753 --> 01:23:29,004
you're my next thing.
1113
01:23:33,842 --> 01:23:38,388
I know that that's not a plan.
It's not a good one, anyway.
1114
01:23:40,432 --> 01:23:43,560
But I need you... Eli.
1115
01:23:59,785 --> 01:24:01,954
Okay. Thank you. Bye.
1116
01:24:03,372 --> 01:24:04,456
- Thank you.
- Sure.
1117
01:24:23,058 --> 01:24:24,309
There is no point.
1118
01:24:25,602 --> 01:24:27,312
That girl killed herself.
1119
01:24:29,356 --> 01:24:30,899
You look like a ghost.
1120
01:24:33,235 --> 01:24:34,444
If you die...
1121
01:24:36,196 --> 01:24:38,073
I will kill you.
1122
01:24:38,156 --> 01:24:39,199
You okay, honey?
1123
01:24:40,617 --> 01:24:44,288
I... I just got up too fast. Sorry.
1124
01:24:45,831 --> 01:24:47,207
You need to eat, girl.
1125
01:24:47,291 --> 01:24:52,504
I'm fine. But thank you.
I just need to get home.
1126
01:25:38,467 --> 01:25:39,801
What kind of place is this,
1127
01:25:39,885 --> 01:25:42,721
where your patients can just walk off
like that and nobody stops her?
1128
01:25:42,804 --> 01:25:45,932
The problem with treatment
for some of these kids...
1129
01:25:46,016 --> 01:25:48,143
is that we won't let them hit bottom.
1130
01:25:48,226 --> 01:25:52,773
It's too hard to watch.
But for Eli, the bottom is critical.
1131
01:26:06,828 --> 01:26:11,291
How is there even less of you?
What did that doctor do to you?
1132
01:26:11,375 --> 01:26:12,376
Hi, Mom.
1133
01:26:13,377 --> 01:26:15,837
- Is this all you've got?
- Yeah.
1134
01:26:15,921 --> 01:26:18,715
All right.
Well, everybody's waiting for you.
1135
01:26:18,799 --> 01:26:22,344
- "Everybody"?
- Horses. They're very sweet beasts.
1136
01:26:26,306 --> 01:26:29,184
Olive and I were worried that it wasn't
gonna work out with that doctor.
1137
01:26:29,267 --> 01:26:31,812
- Well, he had such an attitude.
- Oh, God complex.
1138
01:26:31,895 --> 01:26:33,855
- Totally dismissive.
- And Susan...
1139
01:26:33,939 --> 01:26:38,193
- I mean, he really let her attack us.
- He just wanted everybody to be honest.
1140
01:26:38,276 --> 01:26:39,587
I don't like to speak negatively,
1141
01:26:39,611 --> 01:26:42,114
but that woman's never said an honest word
in her life.
1142
01:26:42,197 --> 01:26:44,258
Of course, your father doesn't go home.
Can you imagine?
1143
01:26:44,282 --> 01:26:46,618
She fought really hard to get me
into Threshold House.
1144
01:26:46,702 --> 01:26:48,245
Yeah, look how well that turned out.
1145
01:26:49,329 --> 01:26:52,749
And how about the way she talked
about your mother's breakdowns?
1146
01:26:52,833 --> 01:26:56,753
They were transformational for me.
Everybody should have more breakdowns.
1147
01:26:59,506 --> 01:27:01,666
You didn't feel that way about them
when they happened.
1148
01:27:08,014 --> 01:27:11,810
Dr. Beckham called here earlier.
He thought you might turn up.
1149
01:27:11,893 --> 01:27:15,564
- He did? What did you say?
- Well, that you'd decided to leave.
1150
01:27:15,647 --> 01:27:18,567
He wanted to make sure you were okay.
1151
01:27:18,650 --> 01:27:21,945
A boy wanted to speak with you. Luke?
1152
01:27:25,323 --> 01:27:29,035
Is this somebody special?
1153
01:27:29,119 --> 01:27:30,495
I don't know. He...
1154
01:27:31,496 --> 01:27:34,624
He's my friend, kind of...
1155
01:27:36,042 --> 01:27:37,669
It all got fucked up.
1156
01:27:45,927 --> 01:27:49,097
In the morning,
Olive would like you to work with Freya.
1157
01:27:51,600 --> 01:27:52,642
The horse?
1158
01:27:53,685 --> 01:27:56,605
Olive has grown tremendously out here.
You'll thank me.
1159
01:27:56,688 --> 01:28:00,525
But isn't that kind of like a conflict?
Her giving me therapy?
1160
01:28:00,609 --> 01:28:05,447
Freya does all the work.
I'm just a conduit.
1161
01:28:05,530 --> 01:28:07,699
- Oh.
- Yeah, she's just a conduit.
1162
01:28:08,742 --> 01:28:13,789
There's no electricity, but I think...
It's not so cold. You'll be okay.
1163
01:28:15,123 --> 01:28:18,585
- You're gonna sleep, anyway.
- Yeah, I'm tired.
1164
01:28:18,668 --> 01:28:22,964
There's a bedpan here.
So, if you need it...
1165
01:28:23,048 --> 01:28:25,467
It's better than stumbling around
in the dark.
1166
01:28:25,550 --> 01:28:26,593
Okay.
1167
01:28:27,677 --> 01:28:32,057
- People pay money to stay here?
- It's rustic. They love it.
1168
01:28:45,946 --> 01:28:48,198
- Ellen...
- "Eli."
1169
01:28:48,281 --> 01:28:51,618
You know, "Ellen" was
your great-grandmother's name.
1170
01:28:51,701 --> 01:28:53,328
I bet she didn't like it either.
1171
01:28:56,832 --> 01:29:02,128
You know, I... had a premonition
before you came.
1172
01:29:02,212 --> 01:29:05,924
- Really?
- You were a baby.
1173
01:29:06,007 --> 01:29:09,094
I didn't hold you enough.
I didn't bond with you.
1174
01:29:10,554 --> 01:29:14,349
And, of course, that's true.
I didn't know about postpartum depression.
1175
01:29:15,684 --> 01:29:19,104
- I don't think that's it.
- Well, anyway...
1176
01:29:22,691 --> 01:29:26,486
I spoke to Jean Williamson about it.
Do you remember her?
1177
01:29:26,570 --> 01:29:30,824
- The pastor?
- No, she wrote The Pure Way of Light.
1178
01:29:30,907 --> 01:29:33,326
She's very interested in Olive's work
1179
01:29:33,410 --> 01:29:38,957
and has been... a great comfort to me
around your illness.
1180
01:29:39,040 --> 01:29:40,041
And she...
1181
01:29:41,751 --> 01:29:46,506
feels that it would be healing
for the both of us
1182
01:29:46,590 --> 01:29:50,510
if you allowed me to feed you.
1183
01:30:00,979 --> 01:30:05,442
- It's rice milk. I made it myself.
- Like a baby?
1184
01:30:06,610 --> 01:30:09,237
Well, like a mother and a child.
1185
01:30:10,530 --> 01:30:15,660
I could hold you and rock you,
and you could go to sleep.
1186
01:30:17,454 --> 01:30:18,622
Uh, I don't know.
1187
01:30:20,081 --> 01:30:24,169
No, I know. I know it's odd.
1188
01:30:25,879 --> 01:30:26,879
But...
1189
01:30:27,714 --> 01:30:31,926
Well, as she said it, I felt real clarity
that that's what we need.
1190
01:30:34,304 --> 01:30:35,430
Can I think about it?
1191
01:30:38,308 --> 01:30:39,893
Yeah, okay.
1192
01:30:47,233 --> 01:30:48,233
There's, uh...
1193
01:30:49,986 --> 01:30:54,115
not much left of you to lose.
You know that?
1194
01:30:55,283 --> 01:30:58,119
- Dr. Beckham made that clear.
- I know.
1195
01:30:59,996 --> 01:31:01,539
Hmm.
1196
01:31:01,623 --> 01:31:05,085
He said it's your choice,
whether you come back or not.
1197
01:31:06,670 --> 01:31:10,674
But I could tell that he was afraid
that you're gonna die.
1198
01:31:12,842 --> 01:31:16,763
Ellen, my... my baby.
1199
01:31:16,846 --> 01:31:18,306
I...
1200
01:31:18,390 --> 01:31:19,516
I know.
1201
01:31:20,809 --> 01:31:22,394
I'm sorry.
1202
01:31:24,688 --> 01:31:25,730
And...
1203
01:31:27,440 --> 01:31:29,317
I just want you to know that...
1204
01:31:31,152 --> 01:31:32,654
I accept it if...
1205
01:31:34,114 --> 01:31:36,741
If death is what you want,
I accept it now.
1206
01:31:39,160 --> 01:31:42,747
I accept it, but um... I love you.
1207
01:31:44,749 --> 01:31:46,751
I just... I can't keep fighting you.
1208
01:31:49,045 --> 01:31:50,088
All right.
1209
01:31:51,756 --> 01:31:52,799
Okay.
1210
01:31:54,634 --> 01:31:55,634
Mom?
1211
01:31:57,053 --> 01:31:58,053
Yeah?
1212
01:32:02,475 --> 01:32:03,852
Feed me, please.
1213
01:32:05,895 --> 01:32:06,980
Yeah.
1214
01:32:09,899 --> 01:32:10,942
Yeah.
1215
01:32:12,736 --> 01:32:13,778
Okay.
1216
01:32:17,699 --> 01:32:18,742
Okay.
1217
01:32:24,831 --> 01:32:27,834
Can you hold this? Hold on.
1218
01:32:29,919 --> 01:32:33,548
Okay. Do you mind if I put your feet down?
1219
01:32:34,799 --> 01:32:37,761
Okay. Are you comfortable?
1220
01:32:37,844 --> 01:32:40,597
Okay.
1221
01:32:44,934 --> 01:32:46,811
- Yeah? Okay.
- Yeah.
1222
01:35:20,214 --> 01:35:21,257
Okay.
1223
01:35:37,982 --> 01:35:41,527
You need to get out of the sun.
You're frying.
1224
01:35:47,241 --> 01:35:48,576
There's a tree.
1225
01:36:00,296 --> 01:36:02,006
I just want you to know that...
1226
01:36:03,800 --> 01:36:05,259
I accept it.
1227
01:36:06,386 --> 01:36:09,347
- I just don't see the point.
- There is no point.
1228
01:36:10,807 --> 01:36:12,447
Can you please
just try this time?
1229
01:36:16,562 --> 01:36:19,273
Not too good. Not perfect.
1230
01:36:20,608 --> 01:36:22,777
Pretty.
1231
01:36:29,200 --> 01:36:31,869
I don't get to have a sister.
1232
01:36:39,627 --> 01:36:42,839
You're dazzling. You know that?
1233
01:36:44,757 --> 01:36:45,842
I do not.
1234
01:37:19,500 --> 01:37:20,543
Shit.
1235
01:37:23,129 --> 01:37:24,172
Hey.
1236
01:37:25,590 --> 01:37:26,758
I need you to look.
1237
01:37:41,981 --> 01:37:43,983
Oh, my God. Is that me?
1238
01:37:53,201 --> 01:37:54,202
That's me.
1239
01:38:01,876 --> 01:38:05,630
Your courage is a small coal
that you keep swallowing.
1240
01:39:19,871 --> 01:39:20,955
Not dead.
1241
01:40:23,809 --> 01:40:24,936
I'm gonna be okay.
1242
01:40:29,398 --> 01:40:32,735
Whatever. You do this again,
I'm gonna punch you in the vagina.
1243
01:40:45,331 --> 01:40:47,416
- You sure?
- Yeah.
1244
01:40:47,500 --> 01:40:48,500
Okay.
1245
01:40:50,544 --> 01:40:51,544
Okay.