1
00:01:48,957 --> 00:01:51,752
I've been born-again my whole life.

2
00:01:52,669 --> 00:01:56,673
Accepting Jesus into your heart
and getting saved is a big decision...

3
00:01:57,424 --> 00:01:59,384
especially for a three-year-old.

4
00:02:02,054 --> 00:02:06,100
My faith taught me that everything
was a part of God's plan.

5
00:02:07,059 --> 00:02:10,646
Mom said that he even had a reason
for taking my father to heaven.

6
00:02:11,605 --> 00:02:15,092
She explained
that Daddy was with the angels.

7
00:02:15,192 --> 00:02:18,654
Well, I wanted to be with the angels, too.

8
00:02:21,198 --> 00:02:23,617
But God had other plans.

9
00:02:25,035 --> 00:02:27,855
Jesus became the center of my life.

10
00:02:27,955 --> 00:02:30,065
I still don't think
he's supposed to be white.

11
00:02:30,165 --> 00:02:33,569
- I was watching this thing on television...
- Of course, he's white.

12
00:02:33,669 --> 00:02:36,405
Gosh. Sometimes I think
my brother's retarded, too.

13
00:02:36,505 --> 00:02:39,199
No, your brother's not retarded.

14
00:02:39,299 --> 00:02:43,412
I was a member in good standing
of the Christian Jewels.

15
00:02:43,512 --> 00:02:45,748
It's sort of like a girl gang for Jesus.

16
00:02:45,848 --> 00:02:47,850
Don't kill your baby!

17
00:02:52,229 --> 00:02:53,255
Lillian Cummings.

18
00:02:53,355 --> 00:02:55,257
My mom was finally named the number one

19
00:02:55,357 --> 00:02:58,969
Christian interior decorator
for the entire region.

20
00:02:59,069 --> 00:03:03,390
And in spite of living
in what the Bible calls "the end times,"

21
00:03:03,490 --> 00:03:05,768
my future was looking bright.

22
00:03:05,868 --> 00:03:08,454
I had the perfect Christian boyfriend.

23
00:03:09,371 --> 00:03:14,126
And I was about to be a senior
at a really good Christian school.

24
00:03:37,149 --> 00:03:39,635
Two weeks before summer vacation ended,

25
00:03:39,735 --> 00:03:41,403
everything changed.

26
00:03:44,281 --> 00:03:46,058
My boyfriend and I played this game

27
00:03:46,158 --> 00:03:48,660
of telling each other secrets underwater.

28
00:03:49,411 --> 00:03:52,022
It's lame, I know.

29
00:03:52,122 --> 00:03:54,692
But this wasn't exactly
the MTV Beach House.

30
00:03:54,792 --> 00:03:57,945
Okay, now my turn.

31
00:03:58,045 --> 00:04:00,130
Okay, ready?

32
00:04:29,159 --> 00:04:30,160
Mary!

33
00:04:31,495 --> 00:04:33,689
Maybe it was because I was drowning,

34
00:04:33,789 --> 00:04:36,458
or the shock of Dean's confession...

35
00:04:37,167 --> 00:04:40,546
but at that moment, I had a vision.

36
00:04:47,261 --> 00:04:48,954
Dean needs you now.

37
00:04:49,054 --> 00:04:51,598
You must do all you can to help him.

38
00:04:58,564 --> 00:05:00,883
It's just a little bump, Mom.
I'm totally fine.

39
00:05:00,983 --> 00:05:02,818
Okay, all right.

40
00:05:03,444 --> 00:05:06,221
Mom was away at the Christian
Community Leader's Convention

41
00:05:06,321 --> 00:05:10,492
in Orlando with Pastor Skip...
the principal of my school.

42
00:05:11,201 --> 00:05:13,479
- Honey?
- Mom.

43
00:05:13,579 --> 00:05:16,231
You didn't tell me
Pastor Skip was so nice.

44
00:05:16,331 --> 00:05:18,359
Yeah, everybody loves him.

45
00:05:18,459 --> 00:05:21,945
We've been talking about setting up
our own fellowship programs

46
00:05:22,045 --> 00:05:23,964
when I get back to Cherry Hill.

47
00:05:25,007 --> 00:05:27,284
- I have to go.
- Come and get it.

48
00:05:27,384 --> 00:05:28,886
Come and get it.

49
00:05:30,220 --> 00:05:31,330
Love you.

50
00:05:31,430 --> 00:05:33,015
- I love you, too.
- Bye.

51
00:05:34,850 --> 00:05:36,435
What's shaking, Skip?

52
00:05:49,531 --> 00:05:52,059
How could my boyfriend be gay?

53
00:05:52,159 --> 00:05:54,687
He's, like, the best Christian I know.

54
00:05:54,787 --> 00:05:58,107
He's an athlete who's
constantly strengthening himself...

55
00:05:58,207 --> 00:06:01,293
physically, creatively,
and spiritually for the Lord.

56
00:06:04,088 --> 00:06:05,547
Thank you, Jesus.

57
00:06:07,341 --> 00:06:12,554
Why had he been stricken
with such a spiritually toxic affliction?

58
00:06:16,016 --> 00:06:20,129
I figured I needed to take
the most direct approach to saving him.

59
00:06:20,229 --> 00:06:22,523
I mean, it was Christ's will and all.

60
00:06:23,399 --> 00:06:26,093
Jesus spoke to you? In person?

61
00:06:26,193 --> 00:06:27,694
He trusts me.

62
00:06:28,737 --> 00:06:31,407
Okay? You're just gonna
have to trust me, too.

63
00:06:35,786 --> 00:06:38,122
- Just kiss me, okay?
- Okay.

64
00:06:39,665 --> 00:06:41,859
Dean and I worked diligently
on his problem

65
00:06:41,959 --> 00:06:43,819
for the rest of the summer.

66
00:06:43,919 --> 00:06:45,546
Anything yet?

67
00:06:50,801 --> 00:06:51,885
Now?

68
00:06:55,389 --> 00:06:57,015
Are you sure this isn't a sin?

69
00:06:58,016 --> 00:07:00,919
I was pretty sure
what we were doing wasn't a sin,

70
00:07:01,019 --> 00:07:04,048
but not sure enough
to give Dean what he really needed.

71
00:07:04,148 --> 00:07:08,694
I needed spiritual guidance
or a sign or something, and quick.

72
00:07:13,490 --> 00:07:17,853
Hilary Faye seemed to have
a spiritual solution for every problem.

73
00:07:17,953 --> 00:07:20,564
Christian girls have got to know
how to protect themselves.

74
00:07:20,664 --> 00:07:25,277
I mean, sure, Jesus could restore
my physical and spiritual virginity,

75
00:07:25,377 --> 00:07:29,198
especially if I lost it
to some rapist, but...

76
00:07:29,298 --> 00:07:30,758
who wants that?

77
00:07:31,467 --> 00:07:36,096
I'm saving myself until marriage,
and I'll use force if necessary.

78
00:07:39,475 --> 00:07:42,252
What's all that about
restoring your virginity?

79
00:07:42,352 --> 00:07:44,338
I mean, physically, you're a virgin once.

80
00:07:44,438 --> 00:07:48,550
Yeah, and it's not about reversing
the violation of your blessed womb.

81
00:07:48,650 --> 00:07:51,320
It's about Jesus
granting you a virginal heart.

82
00:07:51,737 --> 00:07:53,489
That way, you're pure again.

83
00:07:54,323 --> 00:07:55,449
Do it.

84
00:07:57,284 --> 00:07:59,770
My next move was clear.

85
00:07:59,870 --> 00:08:01,330
Nice.

86
00:08:02,372 --> 00:08:03,707
You're getting the hang of it.

87
00:08:29,983 --> 00:08:31,693
How are you doing? What's going on?

88
00:08:45,290 --> 00:08:46,708
What's going on?

89
00:09:02,266 --> 00:09:03,959
Sure, it was a radical step,

90
00:09:04,059 --> 00:09:07,629
but why else had Jesus
directed me to the gun range?

91
00:09:07,729 --> 00:09:09,565
Thank you, Jesus.

92
00:09:25,581 --> 00:09:29,068
Having asked Jesus to restore
my emotional and spiritual virginity

93
00:09:29,168 --> 00:09:31,320
in exchange for curing Dean,

94
00:09:31,420 --> 00:09:34,798
I started my senior year
with all of that behind me.

95
00:09:37,092 --> 00:09:39,636
This new van is amazing.

96
00:09:40,262 --> 00:09:41,555
Thanks.

97
00:09:44,099 --> 00:09:46,168
It's official.

98
00:09:46,268 --> 00:09:48,937
The Christian Jewels...
I bought one for everybody.

99
00:09:49,688 --> 00:09:51,607
Pin it on. I wanna see it.

100
00:09:55,736 --> 00:09:58,055
It's terrific, Hilary Faye. Thank you.

101
00:09:58,155 --> 00:09:59,198
You're welcome.

102
00:10:02,034 --> 00:10:04,645
Hi, Roland. How was your summer?

103
00:10:04,745 --> 00:10:07,189
- What?
- Your summer, how was it?

104
00:10:07,289 --> 00:10:11,485
Well, I went rollerblading,
water-skiing, learned to kickbox.

105
00:10:11,585 --> 00:10:12,903
You know, the usual.

106
00:10:13,003 --> 00:10:16,865
Why do you have to make people feel so
awkward about your differently-abledness?

107
00:10:16,965 --> 00:10:19,284
I'm sorry, I really don't know
what's gotten into him.

108
00:10:19,384 --> 00:10:21,929
Here's the latest from Godflight.

109
00:10:22,638 --> 00:10:24,039
I love these guys.

110
00:10:24,139 --> 00:10:27,643
They are totally
Jesus-centric and gorgeous.

111
00:10:30,437 --> 00:10:32,548
Veronica was adopted by her parents

112
00:10:32,648 --> 00:10:35,217
when they were missionaries in Vietnam.

113
00:10:35,317 --> 00:10:38,220
Hilary Faye sees her
as an example of God's will

114
00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:41,448
triumphing over a savage, godless nation.

115
00:10:42,658 --> 00:10:44,701
So what do you think of the new ride?

116
00:10:45,327 --> 00:10:47,604
You're so lucky, Hilary Faye.

117
00:10:47,704 --> 00:10:51,125
Yeah, I could've had
a Lexus gold edition, you know.

118
00:10:52,209 --> 00:10:54,737
Roland is blessed
with such a thoughtful sister.

119
00:10:54,837 --> 00:10:58,549
In countries like China, Hilary Faye
probably would've been killed at birth.

120
00:10:59,675 --> 00:11:01,744
And then where would you be, Roland?

121
00:11:01,844 --> 00:11:03,095
China.

122
00:11:06,265 --> 00:11:08,042
Welcome.

123
00:11:08,142 --> 00:11:09,810
You're one of us now.

124
00:11:11,228 --> 00:11:13,147
- What?
- Come on, pin it on.

125
00:11:19,528 --> 00:11:22,306
You guys, I'm not gonna have
any time to warm up now.

126
00:11:22,406 --> 00:11:23,849
- You will.
- Where's Dean?

127
00:11:23,949 --> 00:11:25,951
He knows I have to sing
at assembly this morning.

128
00:11:27,161 --> 00:11:28,270
He's coming.

129
00:11:28,370 --> 00:11:31,023
Can you go check?
Move him along a little bit?

130
00:11:31,123 --> 00:11:32,191
- Yeah.
- Thank you.

131
00:11:32,291 --> 00:11:33,333
Not a problem.

132
00:11:43,594 --> 00:11:44,870
Is Dean ready?

133
00:11:44,970 --> 00:11:46,388
I...

134
00:11:47,014 --> 00:11:49,349
I found this under Dean's bed last night.

135
00:11:52,186 --> 00:11:55,297
He's on his way
to Mercy House this morning.

136
00:11:55,397 --> 00:11:57,399
He could be gone a long time.

137
00:11:58,233 --> 00:12:00,194
We thought you should know.

138
00:12:00,986 --> 00:12:02,029
But...

139
00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:04,907
I'm so sorry, Mary.

140
00:12:05,991 --> 00:12:07,242
Let's go.

141
00:12:13,624 --> 00:12:15,292
Is he coming out, or not?

142
00:12:16,752 --> 00:12:18,045
Not.

143
00:12:18,921 --> 00:12:21,365
Mercy House
is a Christian treatment facility

144
00:12:21,465 --> 00:12:24,326
where they deal with
everything from drug abuse,

145
00:12:24,426 --> 00:12:29,890
to alcoholism, to de-gayification,
and unwed mothers.

146
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,730
I need to tell you guys something.

147
00:12:42,778 --> 00:12:45,055
What? It wasn't like it was
some kind of secret.

148
00:12:45,155 --> 00:12:47,616
The guy was like
a one-man gay pride parade.

149
00:12:56,625 --> 00:12:59,378
You know, we've never
had a gay at American Eagle.

150
00:13:00,129 --> 00:13:02,072
We're not gonna tell anyone, okay?

151
00:13:02,172 --> 00:13:03,257
Sure.

152
00:13:04,967 --> 00:13:06,427
Hilary Faye.

153
00:13:07,970 --> 00:13:10,956
- You promised me.
- Yeah, that's fine.

154
00:13:11,056 --> 00:13:12,750
What if you had married him?

155
00:13:12,850 --> 00:13:14,852
The gayness would be
passed on to your children.

156
00:13:20,983 --> 00:13:25,929
Cassandra Edelstein was the only
Jewish to ever attend American Eagles.

157
00:13:26,029 --> 00:13:29,224
She transferred in last year
amid rumors that she was a stripper.

158
00:13:29,324 --> 00:13:32,995
Everyone wanted to get her saved,
especially Hilary Faye.

159
00:13:33,954 --> 00:13:37,124
Hi, Cass. Welcome back.

160
00:13:39,626 --> 00:13:42,905
Smoking isn't just bad for you,
it's bad for all of us.

161
00:13:43,005 --> 00:13:44,698
Secondhand smoke kills.

162
00:13:44,798 --> 00:13:46,909
I'm counting on it.

163
00:13:47,009 --> 00:13:50,788
Oh, my gosh! Hilary Faye, are you okay?

164
00:13:50,888 --> 00:13:54,183
I bet she doesn't even have
a handicap permit for her car.

165
00:13:56,018 --> 00:13:58,020
And I'm right!

166
00:14:00,355 --> 00:14:02,316
Oh, my God.

167
00:14:09,031 --> 00:14:11,867
Come on. We don't want to be late
for homeroom, okay?

168
00:14:19,541 --> 00:14:21,043
Let's get to class.

169
00:14:22,419 --> 00:14:23,587
- Hi, Matt.
- Hey.

170
00:14:32,304 --> 00:14:35,015
- I'm a Jewel.
- Oh, it's awesome!

171
00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:44,967
Hey, guys, guess what?

172
00:14:45,067 --> 00:14:48,070
I think Jesus appeared to me
in my fish tank, and he...

173
00:14:49,530 --> 00:14:50,806
It's okay, it didn't move.

174
00:14:50,906 --> 00:14:53,517
The tank's kinda dirty
and most of the fish are dead,

175
00:14:53,617 --> 00:14:54,977
but my mom said if you guys...

176
00:14:55,077 --> 00:14:56,478
Okay, Tia, thanks.

177
00:14:56,578 --> 00:14:59,581
- I'll see you after class.
- I'll talk to you guys after class.

178
00:15:00,416 --> 00:15:03,986
I hope you all let God use you as a vessel

179
00:15:04,086 --> 00:15:06,255
for his divine plan this summer.

180
00:15:07,131 --> 00:15:10,326
I'm sure by now most of you
have noticed the beautiful billboard

181
00:15:10,426 --> 00:15:12,661
designed and painted
by our own Hilary Faye

182
00:15:12,761 --> 00:15:14,455
and donated by her father.

183
00:15:14,555 --> 00:15:15,848
Thank you.

184
00:15:16,932 --> 00:15:18,100
Mary helped.

185
00:15:18,892 --> 00:15:24,064
And speaking of new additions, class.
I'd like you to welcome Patrick Wheeler.

186
00:15:28,318 --> 00:15:33,515
Most of the boys in school looked
like NASA employees, not Patrick.

187
00:15:33,615 --> 00:15:35,100
There had to be a catch.

188
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,561
Patrick is Pastor Skip's son.

189
00:15:37,661 --> 00:15:40,939
He's been in South America
doing missionary work with his mother,

190
00:15:41,039 --> 00:15:43,359
and this summer
he just completed a world tour

191
00:15:43,459 --> 00:15:45,152
with the Christian skateboard association.

192
00:15:45,252 --> 00:15:46,236
Nice.

193
00:15:46,336 --> 00:15:48,630
Out there hitting the board for the Lord?

194
00:15:49,631 --> 00:15:50,991
Is nothing sacred to you people?

195
00:15:51,091 --> 00:15:53,369
Before this morning's assembly,

196
00:15:53,469 --> 00:15:57,806
why don't we catch up
on what everyone did this summer?

197
00:15:58,724 --> 00:16:01,685
Mary, let's start with you.

198
00:16:19,411 --> 00:16:21,021
All right, everyone.

199
00:16:21,121 --> 00:16:25,250
Put your hands together
for the Christian Jewels!

200
00:16:29,838 --> 00:16:35,411
Some of the words to myself
would make the clouds disappear

201
00:16:35,511 --> 00:16:41,709
If you were gone, what would I become?

202
00:16:41,809 --> 00:16:45,754
You're so good to me

203
00:16:45,854 --> 00:16:47,089
I mean that.

204
00:16:47,189 --> 00:16:51,593
Oh, clarity

205
00:16:51,693 --> 00:16:54,763
Dear God

206
00:16:54,863 --> 00:16:57,766
A little piece of Heaven

207
00:16:57,866 --> 00:17:01,937
A little piece of Heaven in my world

208
00:17:02,037 --> 00:17:05,274
So, I figured they would've
sent you to a special school by now.

209
00:17:05,374 --> 00:17:07,709
This is a special school.

210
00:17:10,379 --> 00:17:11,380
No.

211
00:17:14,466 --> 00:17:17,328
I fell out of a tree when I was nine.

212
00:17:17,428 --> 00:17:18,996
Hilary Faye found me.

213
00:17:19,096 --> 00:17:22,082
She calls it
the miracle that saved my life.

214
00:17:22,182 --> 00:17:23,917
The miracle you could've used

215
00:17:24,017 --> 00:17:26,562
would've been not falling out
of the tree in the first place.

216
00:17:29,022 --> 00:17:30,065
Sorry.

217
00:17:31,066 --> 00:17:33,068
Is that why you're behind a year?

218
00:17:36,664 --> 00:17:37,831
Yeah.

219
00:17:39,124 --> 00:17:40,668
We should get back inside.

220
00:17:46,549 --> 00:17:47,675
Nice.

221
00:17:49,176 --> 00:17:52,555
- You want a push?
- Thanks.

222
00:17:55,849 --> 00:18:00,229
If you stare at my ass again.
I will push you off a cliff.

223
00:18:23,586 --> 00:18:26,589
Thank you, Jesus. Amen.

224
00:18:32,970 --> 00:18:34,054
All right!

225
00:18:38,976 --> 00:18:41,837
Welcome to the first assembly of the year!

226
00:18:41,937 --> 00:18:44,565
Give it up.
The Lord Jesus is in the house!

227
00:18:52,198 --> 00:18:55,684
Let's get our Christ on.
Let's kick it Jesus style.

228
00:18:55,784 --> 00:18:58,395
Y'all wanna walk
with the ultimate rebel, right?

229
00:18:58,495 --> 00:19:01,415
The ultimate CEO.
The biggest celebrity of them all.

230
00:19:02,333 --> 00:19:04,527
Who's down with G.O.D?

231
00:19:04,627 --> 00:19:07,087
I'm down with the G.O.D! That's right!

232
00:19:10,090 --> 00:19:13,219
Jesus Rules! Jesus Rules!

233
00:19:25,481 --> 00:19:26,649
Let's pray.

234
00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:30,386
Lord, we're gonna have
an awesome school year

235
00:19:30,486 --> 00:19:32,054
here at American Eagles Christian High...

236
00:19:32,154 --> 00:19:35,015
I know I'm not supposed
to ask for specifics, Lord,

237
00:19:35,115 --> 00:19:38,978
like when I prayed for an expensive car
and got the handicapper van instead,

238
00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:41,689
but I want this to be the best year ever.

239
00:19:41,789 --> 00:19:42,915
And between you and me...

240
00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:45,901
I think you'll agree I totally deserve it.

241
00:19:46,001 --> 00:19:49,405
Thank you for sparing me from
the eternal hellfires of damnation.

242
00:19:49,505 --> 00:19:52,408
I'm sorry I let that Promise Maker guy
touch me in the rectory.

243
00:19:52,508 --> 00:19:55,578
Daddy still hasn't stopped drinking,
but I know you're working on it.

244
00:19:55,678 --> 00:19:57,621
And I really want to be a Jewel.

245
00:19:57,721 --> 00:20:01,083
I wonder if rollerboy's paralyzed
everywhere below the waist.

246
00:20:01,183 --> 00:20:04,086
Oh, yeah, she digs me.

247
00:20:04,186 --> 00:20:06,755
Please, Jesus, don't let Dad humiliate me.

248
00:20:06,855 --> 00:20:09,133
Those Jesus freaks are on to something.

249
00:20:09,233 --> 00:20:11,761
Especially in front of her.

250
00:20:11,861 --> 00:20:15,739
About Dean and I, I thought we had a deal.

251
00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:18,826
Why is he at Mercy House?

252
00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:23,289
You did restore me, right?

253
00:20:24,915 --> 00:20:27,126
And keep our president safe.

254
00:20:28,544 --> 00:20:29,503
Amen.

255
00:20:30,212 --> 00:20:34,842
Now, who wants to come down here
and give their heart to the Lord?

256
00:20:36,051 --> 00:20:38,679
Who wants to start the year
off right and get saved?

257
00:20:39,388 --> 00:20:41,373
A lot of temptations over the summer.

258
00:20:41,473 --> 00:20:44,794
I bet some of you folks
backslid just a little.

259
00:20:44,894 --> 00:20:47,129
Who wants to recommit
themselves to the Lord?

260
00:20:47,229 --> 00:20:50,024
There we go! All right.

261
00:20:51,192 --> 00:20:53,360
All right. Praise Jesus.

262
00:20:54,528 --> 00:20:55,638
Fantastic.

263
00:20:55,738 --> 00:20:57,765
Praise Jesus. Come on down.

264
00:20:57,865 --> 00:21:00,910
- There you go.
- Awesome.

265
00:21:07,416 --> 00:21:10,377
Welcome home. Welcome home to Jesus.

266
00:21:10,711 --> 00:21:13,005
Welcome to his home. Jesus loves you.

267
00:21:15,591 --> 00:21:18,052
Praise Jesus. Accept him into your heart.

268
00:21:26,101 --> 00:21:27,978
Hallelujah!

269
00:21:31,649 --> 00:21:34,343
Hallelujah! Bear witness.

270
00:21:34,443 --> 00:21:36,612
She's speaking God's love language, folks!

271
00:21:38,113 --> 00:21:42,059
Oh, my God.
The Jew girl's speaking in tongues!

272
00:21:42,159 --> 00:21:44,854
She's gonna show her boobs.
Thank you, Jesus.

273
00:21:44,954 --> 00:21:46,564
She is! She's gonna show her boobs!

274
00:21:46,664 --> 00:21:50,443
Mahh possie is a hot pooosie!

275
00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:52,361
Mahh hotta pooosie!

276
00:21:52,461 --> 00:21:55,489
Mahh possie is a hot pooosie!

277
00:21:55,589 --> 00:21:59,535
Mahh possie is a hot pooosie!

278
00:21:59,635 --> 00:22:01,887
She's saying she's got a hot...

279
00:22:04,265 --> 00:22:10,880
After that, Cassandra's status
went from a cautionary tale to legend.

280
00:22:10,980 --> 00:22:14,717
It seemed like there was no act
too vulgar to get her expelled.

281
00:22:14,817 --> 00:22:16,819
The more she acted out...

282
00:22:17,945 --> 00:22:20,473
the more Hilary Faye
wanted to get her saved.

283
00:22:20,573 --> 00:22:25,411
I am totally glad she wasn't expelled.
Her actions are such a cry for help.

284
00:22:26,328 --> 00:22:28,481
She may not know this now,
but she is like...

285
00:22:28,581 --> 00:22:32,234
she's like that much closer
to accepting Jesus in her heart, right?

286
00:22:32,334 --> 00:22:36,489
Seriously, she could be some poor savage
in some remote jungle somewhere

287
00:22:36,589 --> 00:22:39,800
who will never know the Lord
and who will never go to Heaven, ever.

288
00:22:41,176 --> 00:22:44,430
I think that's why God has missionaries
like Patrick to spread his word.

289
00:22:47,808 --> 00:22:49,476
Yeah. What's up, guys?

290
00:22:50,603 --> 00:22:52,213
- You're Mary, right?
- Here's your board.

291
00:22:52,313 --> 00:22:54,006
- Thanks, bro.
- Yeah.

292
00:22:54,106 --> 00:22:56,759
You played the keyboard
during assembly. That was really cool.

293
00:22:56,859 --> 00:22:58,594
- Thanks.
- Isn't she great?

294
00:22:58,694 --> 00:23:03,032
She knows just how to compliment my
vocal stylings without overpowering them.

295
00:23:03,699 --> 00:23:07,328
We were just talking about
all your missionary work, it's so great.

296
00:23:08,037 --> 00:23:11,148
So, like, what part of the world
has the worst heathens?

297
00:23:11,248 --> 00:23:12,791
'Cause I'm so interested in that.

298
00:23:14,043 --> 00:23:17,321
Honestly, I couldn't say.
Mostly, I just stuck to skating.

299
00:23:17,421 --> 00:23:20,574
No, but how many of them
did you actually save, do you think?

300
00:23:20,674 --> 00:23:22,785
Guys, I totally scored
some free stuff for you.

301
00:23:22,885 --> 00:23:24,245
Thank you, Tia.

302
00:23:24,345 --> 00:23:26,455
Piss off, asshole!

303
00:23:26,555 --> 00:23:28,874
And another thing...
no more muffin for you.

304
00:23:28,974 --> 00:23:30,876
The muffin shop is closed!

305
00:23:30,976 --> 00:23:32,628
- Come on.
- Oh, my gosh.

306
00:23:32,728 --> 00:23:35,965
She is in worse shape
than I ever could have imagined, right?

307
00:23:36,065 --> 00:23:38,634
We need to show her
just how cool we Christians can be.

308
00:23:38,734 --> 00:23:41,237
- Totally.
- Let's start the laughing.

309
00:23:42,404 --> 00:23:43,906
Now!

310
00:23:47,910 --> 00:23:50,037
Cass, come join us. We're just...

311
00:23:51,539 --> 00:23:54,608
Do you wanna go wait in the van again?
Do you know these are new pants!

312
00:23:54,708 --> 00:23:57,586
You're handicapped, but get it together.

313
00:23:59,004 --> 00:24:02,199
Hey, Roland, how about we get outta here.

314
00:24:02,299 --> 00:24:04,743
And you can give me
a little spin in that thing?

315
00:24:04,843 --> 00:24:07,204
Release his parking brake, Hilary "Fake."

316
00:24:07,304 --> 00:24:10,332
You smell like Tia's dad.
Have you been drinking?

317
00:24:10,432 --> 00:24:11,517
Come on. Careful.

318
00:24:13,936 --> 00:24:15,880
I'm having a vision of the Virgin Mary.

319
00:24:15,980 --> 00:24:17,548
Cassandra, are you all right?

320
00:24:17,648 --> 00:24:20,509
What she needs to do
is accept Jesus into her heart.

321
00:24:20,609 --> 00:24:22,386
I think what she needs is a ride home.

322
00:24:22,486 --> 00:24:24,180
- I'll take her.
- I'll help you, then.

323
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:25,514
Come on, Cassandra.

324
00:24:25,614 --> 00:24:27,741
No, no, let go of the pizza.

325
00:24:28,701 --> 00:24:30,119
Get off of me!

326
00:24:31,287 --> 00:24:33,689
Helping Patrick
haul Cassandra out of the mall

327
00:24:33,789 --> 00:24:36,525
was like the most perfect
God-centered moment.

328
00:24:36,625 --> 00:24:39,737
You really learn a lot about a boy
when you're servicing the Lord.

329
00:24:39,837 --> 00:24:41,906
Hilary Faye, I can see your pad.

330
00:24:42,006 --> 00:24:44,700
- I can see a little bit of it right...
- Quit it!

331
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:49,705
Slowly raise up through the knees,
still bent at the waist, and roll to standing.

332
00:24:49,805 --> 00:24:50,831
Good.

333
00:24:50,931 --> 00:24:52,750
And twist and hold.

334
00:24:52,850 --> 00:24:55,895
Come on. Keep holding.

335
00:24:56,729 --> 00:24:59,006
I know what you're looking at, Mary.

336
00:24:59,106 --> 00:25:00,608
And Jesus does, too,

337
00:25:13,996 --> 00:25:17,358
After a threatening letter
from the State Board of Education,

338
00:25:17,458 --> 00:25:20,820
they finally broke down
and created a Sex-Ed class.

339
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:23,072
A little too late, I might add.

340
00:25:23,172 --> 00:25:25,758
So, it's all about populating the planet.

341
00:25:26,592 --> 00:25:29,929
And good Christians don't
get jiggy with it until they're married.

342
00:25:30,429 --> 00:25:31,472
Lights.

343
00:25:34,767 --> 00:25:35,935
Yes, Mary.

344
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:44,902
Is it possible Jesus might need us
to do his will by, you know, not waiting?

345
00:25:47,696 --> 00:25:49,974
Of course, he wants us to wait.

346
00:25:50,074 --> 00:25:53,118
I don't think I get what you mean, Mary.

347
00:25:55,663 --> 00:25:57,106
I don't know.

348
00:25:57,206 --> 00:26:00,985
Which variety of bass
is not indigenous to North America?

349
00:26:01,085 --> 00:26:02,611
- B... small mouth.
- Peacock.

350
00:26:02,711 --> 00:26:06,198
- Large mouth?
- I'm sorry. That's incorrect.

351
00:26:06,298 --> 00:26:08,242
This religious figure was best known

352
00:26:08,342 --> 00:26:11,579
for offering to God
a sacrifice of one of his sons.

353
00:26:11,679 --> 00:26:13,372
- Moses!
- Brenda.

354
00:26:13,472 --> 00:26:15,833
I... I'm guessing Abraham?

355
00:26:15,933 --> 00:26:17,960
- That's correct.
- Oh, really?

356
00:26:18,060 --> 00:26:21,255
- Congratulations. Well done.
- I hate this show.

357
00:26:21,355 --> 00:26:23,466
Coming up on Lifetime,

358
00:26:23,566 --> 00:26:26,969
Valerie Bertinelli
stars in "Bitter Harvest"...

359
00:26:27,069 --> 00:26:30,055
a sensitive portrayal
of one woman's struggle with cancer.

360
00:26:30,155 --> 00:26:31,740
This looks good.

361
00:26:33,075 --> 00:26:35,494
There was a feeling
of twilight in the air...

362
00:26:36,912 --> 00:26:39,482
all honeydew and lilac.

363
00:26:39,582 --> 00:26:41,792
God wasn't just smiling down on me...

364
00:26:42,877 --> 00:26:45,379
he was jumping up and cheering.

365
00:26:46,505 --> 00:26:47,798
And then, well...

366
00:26:49,341 --> 00:26:50,826
I thought I was pregnant.

367
00:26:50,926 --> 00:26:52,620
I'd been throwing up every morning

368
00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:55,164
and hadn't had my period in two months.

369
00:26:55,264 --> 00:26:57,625
So I took a home pregnancy test.

370
00:26:57,725 --> 00:26:59,101
What happened?

371
00:27:02,646 --> 00:27:04,398
I found out I wasn't pregnant.

372
00:27:06,317 --> 00:27:07,860
It was the cancer.

373
00:27:09,737 --> 00:27:12,907
She found all that out
from a home pregnancy test?

374
00:27:13,908 --> 00:27:18,020
Valerie's struggles made me realize
that my problems weren't so bad.

375
00:27:18,120 --> 00:27:21,565
Dean was getting help,
and I still had the Jewels.

376
00:27:21,665 --> 00:27:23,417
I was gonna be okay.

377
00:27:41,477 --> 00:27:44,380
- You work here, too?
- Yeah, I'm saving up for a car.

378
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:47,107
When I get one I can
come pick you up and stuff.

379
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:49,527
You okay?

380
00:27:50,027 --> 00:27:52,154
Yeah, it's just really hot in here.

381
00:27:52,988 --> 00:27:54,615
- I'll see you later.
- Promise?

382
00:28:00,955 --> 00:28:03,832
Please let it be cancer.
Please let it be cancer.

383
00:28:37,199 --> 00:28:41,036
The test mentions something
about a possible false positive.

384
00:28:46,584 --> 00:28:48,752
Do you have anything later on Monday?

385
00:28:52,715 --> 00:28:56,452
3:00? No, no, I can make that.

386
00:28:56,552 --> 00:29:00,431
I have my leadership meeting
tonight after work.

387
00:29:03,225 --> 00:29:05,753
- You're not wearing that, are you?
- Why not?

388
00:29:05,853 --> 00:29:07,396
You just can't, Mom.

389
00:29:09,064 --> 00:29:11,108
You're right, it's too hot for a sweater.

390
00:29:14,278 --> 00:29:16,614
- I'll see you later.
- Bye, hon.

391
00:29:20,242 --> 00:29:23,687
Hey, Mary.
Sorry to hear about Dean's faggotry.

392
00:29:23,787 --> 00:29:26,373
- What?
- See you at P, circle?

393
00:29:36,217 --> 00:29:37,468
Can I talk to you?

394
00:29:41,096 --> 00:29:42,973
What's going on?

395
00:29:43,849 --> 00:29:45,392
You promised me.

396
00:29:49,939 --> 00:29:51,298
It's hard.

397
00:29:51,398 --> 00:29:54,735
But I think this is the only way
we can actually help Dean.

398
00:29:56,195 --> 00:29:58,013
Don't you think?

399
00:29:58,113 --> 00:30:01,058
Come on. You're not born a gay.

400
00:30:01,158 --> 00:30:02,701
You're born-again.

401
00:30:03,327 --> 00:30:05,287
I don't know what I think anymore.

402
00:30:05,955 --> 00:30:07,581
I've gotta go.

403
00:30:08,290 --> 00:30:10,025
Wait. Don't you need me
to give you a ride home?

404
00:30:10,125 --> 00:30:11,610
Not today, Hil.

405
00:30:11,710 --> 00:30:15,089
Okay. Well, tonight
at the prayer circle meeting then, okay?

406
00:30:18,133 --> 00:30:20,995
Prayer circle meeting at my house at 7:00.

407
00:30:21,095 --> 00:30:24,098
I'm conducting it
for Mary's gay boyfriend Dean.

408
00:30:38,654 --> 00:30:39,780
What?

409
00:30:40,948 --> 00:30:43,450
You know where a guy can get some smokes?

410
00:30:58,674 --> 00:30:59,742
What's the matter?

411
00:30:59,842 --> 00:31:02,161
Scared to be seen
in public with a stripper?

412
00:31:02,261 --> 00:31:04,747
No. Scared of being seen with a cripple?

413
00:31:04,847 --> 00:31:06,265
I've been seen with worse.

414
00:31:06,849 --> 00:31:09,418
Hilary Faye's gonna freak out
when I'm not there waiting for her.

415
00:31:09,518 --> 00:31:10,686
Who cares?

416
00:31:12,271 --> 00:31:14,690
It's just that I don't
get out much on my own.

417
00:31:16,066 --> 00:31:19,153
- I'm not really a stripper.
- I'm not really a Christian.

418
00:31:21,405 --> 00:31:24,100
So, how did you end up at American Eagle?

419
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:26,185
I mean, you're Jewish, right?

420
00:31:26,285 --> 00:31:28,771
Well, after I got expelled
from my last school,

421
00:31:28,871 --> 00:31:31,165
it was either here or home schooling.

422
00:31:32,291 --> 00:31:35,544
I figured I could handle
these freaks better than my parents.

423
00:31:36,420 --> 00:31:37,504
Lucky me.

424
00:31:39,006 --> 00:31:42,593
- Are you playing footsies with me?
- Wheelies.

425
00:31:44,803 --> 00:31:45,846
Hey, isn't that...

426
00:31:48,557 --> 00:31:50,292
What is she doing downtown?

427
00:31:50,392 --> 00:31:53,879
There's only one reason Christian girls
come down to the Planned Parenthood.

428
00:31:53,979 --> 00:31:56,966
- She's planting a pipe bomb?
- Okay, two reasons.

429
00:31:57,066 --> 00:31:58,509
With Dean?

430
00:31:58,609 --> 00:32:01,153
I think there's a better chance
of that pipe bomb.

431
00:32:04,907 --> 00:32:07,743
I... I should get home.

432
00:32:11,247 --> 00:32:12,748
Yeah, you should.

433
00:33:21,150 --> 00:33:22,276
Shit.

434
00:33:30,784 --> 00:33:31,827
Fuck.

435
00:33:43,797 --> 00:33:45,299
Goddamn.

436
00:33:48,969 --> 00:33:53,207
And we pray for all the perverts, Lord,
but especially for Dean,

437
00:33:53,307 --> 00:33:56,335
whom at this time,
just hasn't found the right girl.

438
00:33:56,435 --> 00:34:01,757
We join together and beg you
to rid him of his unnatural perversions.

439
00:34:01,857 --> 00:34:04,301
May you lead him
out of the darkness, Lord,

440
00:34:04,401 --> 00:34:06,929
and into your divine light.

441
00:34:07,029 --> 00:34:08,364
Amen.

442
00:34:09,365 --> 00:34:11,934
That was good. That felt really nice.

443
00:34:12,034 --> 00:34:14,770
Thank you so much for that good prayer.

444
00:34:14,870 --> 00:34:16,897
- Hi, Mary.
- Hi.

445
00:34:16,997 --> 00:34:20,109
How are you? So good to see you.
We've been waiting for you.

446
00:34:20,209 --> 00:34:23,696
We were just finishing up, so if you
have anything else you wanna add.

447
00:34:23,796 --> 00:34:25,614
Jesus is still listening.

448
00:34:25,714 --> 00:34:27,950
Jesus isn't listening, Hilary Faye.

449
00:34:28,050 --> 00:34:31,912
I did everything I could to save Dean,
and he still ended up at Mercy House.

450
00:34:32,012 --> 00:34:32,955
Let's take a breath...

451
00:34:33,055 --> 00:34:35,666
What can they say and do
that I haven't already done!

452
00:34:35,766 --> 00:34:36,792
Don't embarrass me!

453
00:34:36,892 --> 00:34:39,044
We have to pray about this. Prayer works!

454
00:34:39,144 --> 00:34:43,007
- It's been medically proven.
- Just lay off of me, Hilary!

455
00:34:43,107 --> 00:34:44,191
Wait a second.

456
00:34:45,734 --> 00:34:47,069
Give me that.

457
00:34:48,070 --> 00:34:50,906
You could pollute the Jewels
and everything we stand for.

458
00:34:52,116 --> 00:34:54,702
And I can't have that. Good-bye.

459
00:34:56,036 --> 00:34:58,455
I hope you know
that this is all a waste of time.

460
00:35:07,298 --> 00:35:09,633
I just got off the phone with Hilary Faye.

461
00:35:10,593 --> 00:35:13,095
Wow! Can she be an uppity whootie-who.

462
00:35:17,725 --> 00:35:19,101
What's the matter?

463
00:35:19,685 --> 00:35:20,728
Nothing.

464
00:35:21,937 --> 00:35:23,272
Come on.

465
00:35:28,819 --> 00:35:33,182
Why do you think Dean's parents
sent him away so fast?

466
00:35:33,282 --> 00:35:35,976
They probably thought
they couldn't handle it by themselves.

467
00:35:36,076 --> 00:35:39,688
Having a child is like owning a car...

468
00:35:39,788 --> 00:35:42,650
I can change the oil, fill the gas tank,

469
00:35:42,750 --> 00:35:45,361
take it to a carwash,
but if the carburetor broke.

470
00:35:45,461 --> 00:35:47,822
I wouldn't have a clue
as to how to fix it.

471
00:35:47,922 --> 00:35:51,408
What are you saying... you'd actually
send me to a place like Mercy House?

472
00:35:51,508 --> 00:35:54,053
Mary, please don't tell me
you're a lesbian.

473
00:35:59,642 --> 00:36:01,268
Should I be worried about you?

474
00:36:02,645 --> 00:36:05,397
I don't need to worry about you... do I?

475
00:36:07,983 --> 00:36:09,151
No.

476
00:36:13,948 --> 00:36:16,392
My mom just compared me to a car,

477
00:36:16,492 --> 00:36:19,061
so me having a baby

478
00:36:19,161 --> 00:36:22,731
definitely falls into the category
of things she couldn't handle.

479
00:36:22,831 --> 00:36:27,653
A week after prom
and two days after I turned eighteen,

480
00:36:27,753 --> 00:36:30,531
I was going to join
the unwed mothers club.

481
00:36:30,631 --> 00:36:34,385
Dean, I'm really sorry about what we did.

482
00:36:35,344 --> 00:36:37,621
I mean, we should've
at least used protection.

483
00:36:37,721 --> 00:36:39,498
But you're the only person I've been with.

484
00:36:39,598 --> 00:36:42,126
- No, I know that.
- I don't have anything.

485
00:36:42,226 --> 00:36:44,295
It's just... Dean, I really...

486
00:36:44,395 --> 00:36:46,589
I need to tell you something.

487
00:36:46,689 --> 00:36:49,650
- Hey, governor.
- Hi, Mitch.

488
00:36:51,694 --> 00:36:54,096
- Mitch?
- He's my roommate.

489
00:36:54,196 --> 00:36:56,390
He's here for the same reason as me.

490
00:36:56,490 --> 00:36:58,100
He even ran away from home
to San Francisco.

491
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:00,478
He's like the worst one here.

492
00:37:00,578 --> 00:37:03,397
- You better be careful.
- I'm gonna beat this.

493
00:37:03,497 --> 00:37:05,708
According to the brochure,
hundreds of others have.

494
00:37:06,375 --> 00:37:07,751
What were you gonna say?

495
00:37:11,005 --> 00:37:12,715
Nothing. Just...

496
00:37:14,550 --> 00:37:16,994
I wanted to know if you'd be out by prom.

497
00:37:17,094 --> 00:37:19,663
- Wild horses couldn't stop me.
- Mercy House residents...

498
00:37:19,763 --> 00:37:21,999
I gotta go. We're doing
a Christian haunted house.

499
00:37:22,099 --> 00:37:23,267
Happy Halloween.

500
00:37:27,813 --> 00:37:31,066
Let's go, let's go. Let's pick it up.

501
00:37:35,029 --> 00:37:36,639
Nice costume.

502
00:37:36,739 --> 00:37:37,990
Thanks.

503
00:37:40,034 --> 00:37:42,036
'Cause we have the same...

504
00:37:46,832 --> 00:37:49,819
If you don't let go, I'll tell everybody
you touch me inappropriately

505
00:37:49,919 --> 00:37:51,654
while helping me in the bathroom.

506
00:37:51,754 --> 00:37:54,657
- Is that supposed to embarrass me?
- I'm tired of you pushing me around.

507
00:37:54,757 --> 00:37:57,743
Well, maybe I'm tired
of pushing you around.

508
00:37:57,843 --> 00:37:59,620
He's all yours!

509
00:37:59,720 --> 00:38:01,831
Thanks. Call me later, okay?

510
00:38:01,931 --> 00:38:04,208
He doesn't appreciate
one thing you do for him.

511
00:38:04,308 --> 00:38:07,211
Without the strength and love
that Jesus provides me,

512
00:38:07,311 --> 00:38:09,797
do you really think Cassandra's
gonna be able to take care of him?

513
00:38:09,897 --> 00:38:11,132
No way.

514
00:38:11,232 --> 00:38:13,008
She's just gonna end up hurting him.

515
00:38:13,108 --> 00:38:16,011
By the look of the bruises
on his neck, she already has.

516
00:38:16,111 --> 00:38:17,446
Tia, please.

517
00:38:17,571 --> 00:38:19,448
What are you supposed to be?

518
00:38:20,449 --> 00:38:21,534
A roller skate.

519
00:38:22,785 --> 00:38:24,645
I've got something to show you.

520
00:38:24,745 --> 00:38:25,913
You do?

521
00:38:34,171 --> 00:38:36,949
You didn't just do this
for the parking permit, did you?

522
00:38:37,049 --> 00:38:38,217
Pretty much.

523
00:38:39,802 --> 00:38:42,830
In the meantime,
I was trying to find a new religion

524
00:38:42,930 --> 00:38:45,207
or a new God or whatever,

525
00:38:45,307 --> 00:38:49,086
but to tell you the truth,
they were all kind of freaking me out.

526
00:38:49,186 --> 00:38:54,650
I mean, sure, they can't all be right,
but they can't all be wrong, right?

527
00:39:04,201 --> 00:39:06,520
You know, the whole
crystal thing is so felt up.

528
00:39:06,620 --> 00:39:09,064
Don't you have a church
to desecrate or something?

529
00:39:09,164 --> 00:39:11,166
Roland and I saw you
sneaking out of the clinic.

530
00:39:11,917 --> 00:39:14,336
Kudos on the Bono shades, by the way.

531
00:39:15,004 --> 00:39:17,281
I was distributing pamphlets.

532
00:39:17,381 --> 00:39:20,593
I was trying to prevent
girls like you from making a mistake.

533
00:39:21,886 --> 00:39:22,970
Thank you.

534
00:39:24,013 --> 00:39:25,956
After we win the costume contest,

535
00:39:26,056 --> 00:39:29,085
we'll distribute religious tracts
to the kids instead of candy.

536
00:39:29,185 --> 00:39:31,921
- Good one.
- That's awesome.

537
00:39:32,021 --> 00:39:33,063
Hey, ladies.

538
00:39:33,772 --> 00:39:36,425
- Sorry. You got a second?
- Yeah.

539
00:39:36,525 --> 00:39:38,819
Listen, I'm concerned about Mary.

540
00:39:39,153 --> 00:39:40,387
Something's going on.

541
00:39:40,487 --> 00:39:41,889
Yeah, me too.

542
00:39:41,989 --> 00:39:46,160
Well, she's part of your posse,
and I think that you could help her.

543
00:39:47,119 --> 00:39:50,147
I'm gonna need you to be a warrior
out on the front lines for Jesus.

544
00:39:50,247 --> 00:39:51,874
You mean like shoot her?

545
00:39:54,168 --> 00:39:57,780
No, no, I was thinking
of something a little less gangsta.

546
00:39:57,880 --> 00:40:01,826
I need someone who's spiritually armed
to help guide her back to her faith,

547
00:40:01,926 --> 00:40:04,495
to love and care
that only Jesus can supply.

548
00:40:04,595 --> 00:40:06,664
- You down with that?
- Yeah, I'm down with that.

549
00:40:06,764 --> 00:40:10,351
She's pretty vulnerable right now,
so I'm gonna need you to be extra gentle.

550
00:40:11,393 --> 00:40:14,380
- Hurry! Hurry! Come on!
- I'm going! I'm going!

551
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:15,898
- Get her!
- Come on, Tia!

552
00:40:17,775 --> 00:40:19,568
Stuff her in here! Hurry up! Hurry Up!

553
00:40:24,073 --> 00:40:25,683
In the name of Jesus Christ.

554
00:40:25,783 --> 00:40:27,810
I command you,
leave the body of this servant of God.

555
00:40:27,910 --> 00:40:30,563
You're performing
an exorcism on me? Get off me!

556
00:40:30,663 --> 00:40:32,481
Where are you going? Get back here!

557
00:40:32,581 --> 00:40:34,358
We've gotta get rid of the evil in you.

558
00:40:34,458 --> 00:40:36,235
- It's God's will!
- God's will?

559
00:40:36,335 --> 00:40:39,488
- Christ died for your sins!
- Okay, wait a second.

560
00:40:39,588 --> 00:40:41,699
Are you not gonna accept our intervention?

561
00:40:41,799 --> 00:40:43,033
You mean kidnapping? No!

562
00:40:43,133 --> 00:40:45,327
You are backsliding
into the flames of hell.

563
00:40:45,427 --> 00:40:48,456
You've become a magnet for sin.
We've all witnessed it.

564
00:40:48,556 --> 00:40:50,875
Sure. Veronica acting all pure.

565
00:40:50,975 --> 00:40:53,544
What about last spring break
at the Promise Maker's rally?

566
00:40:53,644 --> 00:40:57,465
You are making accusations
as we're trying to save your soul?

567
00:40:57,565 --> 00:40:59,925
Mary, turn away from Satan.

568
00:41:00,025 --> 00:41:02,678
Jesus... he loves you.

569
00:41:02,778 --> 00:41:06,240
You don't know the first thing about love.

570
00:41:06,949 --> 00:41:09,410
I am filled with Christ's love!

571
00:41:10,327 --> 00:41:12,855
You are just jealous
of my success in the Lord.

572
00:41:12,955 --> 00:41:16,876
This is not a weapon, you idiot.

573
00:41:27,303 --> 00:41:30,431
What, did they send you to
strap me on the back of your scooter?

574
00:41:31,098 --> 00:41:33,851
Scooter? Mary, this is a Vespa.

575
00:41:34,852 --> 00:41:37,021
And I don't know
what you're talking about. Hop on.

576
00:41:38,731 --> 00:41:40,508
I'd rather walk.

577
00:41:40,608 --> 00:41:42,109
Suit yourself.

578
00:41:47,656 --> 00:41:49,767
She actually tried to exorcise you?

579
00:41:49,867 --> 00:41:50,868
Yeah.

580
00:41:51,619 --> 00:41:53,120
That was nice of her, I guess.

581
00:41:54,496 --> 00:41:57,333
The way things have been going.
I probably should've let her.

582
00:41:58,959 --> 00:42:00,127
Listen, Mary...

583
00:42:01,962 --> 00:42:04,573
I want you to know that I don't think
Dean's sick or anything.

584
00:42:04,673 --> 00:42:07,201
- Yeah, right.
- No, really.

585
00:42:07,301 --> 00:42:10,579
Mercy House doesn't really exist
for the people who get sent there.

586
00:42:10,679 --> 00:42:13,249
It exists more for the people
who do the sending.

587
00:42:13,349 --> 00:42:16,685
So why were you at Hilary Faye's
when she was praying for Dean?

588
00:42:19,104 --> 00:42:20,147
Honestly...

589
00:42:22,191 --> 00:42:24,026
I thought you'd be there.

590
00:42:31,992 --> 00:42:34,854
Well, thank you for the ride, Patrick.

591
00:42:34,954 --> 00:42:36,288
Any time.

592
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:44,672
Do you wanna go out sometime?

593
00:42:46,882 --> 00:42:49,326
What... are you gonna
take me out on your scooter?

594
00:42:49,426 --> 00:42:52,997
Come on. I'm, like, totally adorable.

595
00:42:53,097 --> 00:42:55,766
Besides, it would drive Hilary Faye crazy.

596
00:42:59,645 --> 00:43:02,898
I can't. I'm not dating right now.

597
00:43:04,066 --> 00:43:06,527
What about tomorrow night?
Will you be dating then?

598
00:43:09,238 --> 00:43:10,948
Good night, Patrick.

599
00:43:12,366 --> 00:43:14,034
Thank you so much.

600
00:43:14,368 --> 00:43:16,871
You guys are so sweet. You know what?

601
00:43:18,330 --> 00:43:19,373
We need to...

602
00:43:22,293 --> 00:43:23,444
We need to take a moment

603
00:43:23,544 --> 00:43:25,654
and think about those people
who aren't as fortunate

604
00:43:25,754 --> 00:43:27,740
to have the body of Christ
in their life right now.

605
00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:31,494
So, let's... let's pray for Mary.

606
00:43:31,594 --> 00:43:33,579
Lucky for me, at our school,

607
00:43:33,679 --> 00:43:37,792
teen pregnancy was about as common
as the flesh-eating virus.

608
00:43:37,892 --> 00:43:39,543
No one really seemed to catch on.

609
00:43:39,643 --> 00:43:40,711
All right, students...

610
00:43:40,811 --> 00:43:42,588
Except Cassandra.

611
00:43:42,688 --> 00:43:45,674
...and we're going to continue
with the Beatitudes.

612
00:43:45,774 --> 00:43:47,843
- Let's... Mary?
- Could I have a bathroom pass?

613
00:43:47,943 --> 00:43:49,220
- Sure.
- Thanks.

614
00:43:49,320 --> 00:43:52,014
Blessed are those who are persecuted
because of righteousness,

615
00:43:52,114 --> 00:43:54,350
for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven.

616
00:43:54,450 --> 00:43:57,228
Blessed are you when people
insult you, persecute you,

617
00:43:57,328 --> 00:44:00,414
and falsely say all kinds of evil
against you because of me.

618
00:44:06,879 --> 00:44:07,922
Excuse me.

619
00:44:10,466 --> 00:44:13,202
It doesn't bother you to have
people smoking around you?

620
00:44:13,302 --> 00:44:14,803
It's so bad for the baby.

621
00:44:15,971 --> 00:44:18,599
I'm not pregnant, okay?

622
00:44:19,308 --> 00:44:22,895
So, what's your plan?
It's too late for the big A.

623
00:44:23,896 --> 00:44:27,383
You look like a smuggler.
I know somewhere you could sell it.

624
00:44:27,483 --> 00:44:28,984
I'm not gonna sell my...

625
00:44:36,784 --> 00:44:38,285
It's Dean's, isn't it?

626
00:44:40,579 --> 00:44:43,249
You can't do this on your own.

627
00:44:44,750 --> 00:44:46,001
Yes, I can.

628
00:44:47,545 --> 00:44:49,505
No, you can't.

629
00:44:57,972 --> 00:44:59,682
I thought I was helping him.

630
00:45:02,351 --> 00:45:03,686
I thought it was...

631
00:45:04,603 --> 00:45:06,564
what Jesus wanted me to do.

632
00:45:10,067 --> 00:45:11,902
That's pretty stupid, right?

633
00:45:13,404 --> 00:45:15,389
It's not stupid.

634
00:45:15,489 --> 00:45:18,284
- Yes, it is.
- It's not stupid.

635
00:45:28,544 --> 00:45:29,737
If you're interested.

636
00:45:29,837 --> 00:45:32,823
I know some people
who would pay a lot of money

637
00:45:32,923 --> 00:45:34,950
to take naked pictures of you
in a family way.

638
00:45:35,050 --> 00:45:38,012
Oh, yeah? How much money?

639
00:45:40,222 --> 00:45:42,057
You need to get out of here.

640
00:45:45,227 --> 00:45:46,812
Are we cutting?

641
00:45:53,944 --> 00:45:57,014
- Should you be driving?
- What is it with you people?

642
00:45:57,114 --> 00:45:59,475
You don't think
we can do anything, do you?

643
00:45:59,575 --> 00:46:02,520
No, I mean, you don't have
your license, do you?

644
00:46:02,620 --> 00:46:03,704
No.

645
00:46:09,543 --> 00:46:13,130
Here. Years of shoplifting
have taught me how to hide a bundle.

646
00:46:15,674 --> 00:46:18,828
Did I ever tell you about the time
that I shoplifted a frozen turkey

647
00:46:18,928 --> 00:46:22,765
out of a Piggly Wiggly wearing only
a tube top and some daisy dukes?

648
00:46:33,484 --> 00:46:35,569
I can't pay for all of this.

649
00:46:37,029 --> 00:46:38,864
Compliments of Hilary Faye.

650
00:46:45,621 --> 00:46:49,483
So, Patrick asked you out,
and you turned him down?

651
00:46:49,583 --> 00:46:52,736
The boy is a tomcat,
even if he is a big J.C. freak.

652
00:46:52,836 --> 00:46:57,491
And, double-plus bonus.
I'm pretty sure he's not a mo.

653
00:46:57,591 --> 00:47:00,661
He's Pastor Skip's son,
and I'm about to pop a baby out.

654
00:47:00,761 --> 00:47:03,706
I should tell Patrick to act gay.
Maybe then he'd get a little action.

655
00:47:03,806 --> 00:47:05,641
Nice, very nice.

656
00:47:09,144 --> 00:47:11,756
Does it ever bother you
that he can't walk?

657
00:47:11,856 --> 00:47:13,440
He can't walk?

658
00:47:14,984 --> 00:47:17,970
No, I mean it must be tricky, that's all.

659
00:47:18,070 --> 00:47:19,388
I don't care.

660
00:47:19,488 --> 00:47:23,659
- He gets me, and I get him.
- Cool.

661
00:47:23,993 --> 00:47:25,936
- Hello, ladies.
- Hello.

662
00:47:26,036 --> 00:47:27,188
Check this out.

663
00:47:27,288 --> 00:47:30,399
I got a candy bar and a whole nickel.

664
00:47:30,499 --> 00:47:31,567
Oh, Jesus.

665
00:47:31,667 --> 00:47:34,795
Don't look now, but bitch face
is here with your boyfriend.

666
00:47:36,839 --> 00:47:37,965
Hey, guys.

667
00:47:38,883 --> 00:47:40,342
Merry Christmas.

668
00:47:43,679 --> 00:47:45,306
What's wrong with her?

669
00:47:45,973 --> 00:47:47,249
It's nothing.

670
00:47:47,349 --> 00:47:51,921
I just get this really left-out feeling
around Christmas time, you know?

671
00:47:52,021 --> 00:47:53,647
Jewish.

672
00:47:54,356 --> 00:47:57,009
Well, if you decided
to accept Christ into your heart,

673
00:47:57,109 --> 00:48:00,279
then you and your people
could join in on the fun, too.

674
00:48:01,238 --> 00:48:03,199
We should go.

675
00:48:04,158 --> 00:48:05,284
Bye, guys.

676
00:48:06,535 --> 00:48:09,163
- Wait!
- What?

677
00:48:10,164 --> 00:48:12,608
- You're right.
- I am?

678
00:48:12,708 --> 00:48:14,610
I wanna join in on the fun.

679
00:48:14,710 --> 00:48:16,737
I don't want a Hanukkah bush this year.

680
00:48:16,837 --> 00:48:18,781
I want a Christmas tree.

681
00:48:18,881 --> 00:48:21,450
- You're kidding me again, right?
- I wanna get saved.

682
00:48:21,550 --> 00:48:25,287
I want a relationship
with Jesus Christ, for real.

683
00:48:25,387 --> 00:48:29,141
- Are you serious?
- Yes.

684
00:48:30,726 --> 00:48:33,729
Okay. This is gonna
be pretty intense, Patrick.

685
00:48:35,189 --> 00:48:37,399
I don't have all of
my equipment with me, but...

686
00:48:38,776 --> 00:48:40,344
Okay, sit down.

687
00:48:40,444 --> 00:48:45,641
First of all, we need to have you
confess all of your sins out loud.

688
00:48:45,741 --> 00:48:47,643
Well, there's all the swears.

689
00:48:47,743 --> 00:48:50,646
I mean, I have
a pretty goddamn dirty mouth.

690
00:48:50,746 --> 00:48:53,707
And then there's the sex.
I mean, are we counting oral?

691
00:48:55,125 --> 00:48:57,461
So, Christmas shopping with Hilary Faye?

692
00:48:58,337 --> 00:49:01,824
No, no, I just
ran into her here, honestly.

693
00:49:01,924 --> 00:49:04,093
She's helping me pick out
some last-minute gifts.

694
00:49:06,637 --> 00:49:09,123
- Come here. Sorry.
- What are you doing, Patrick?

695
00:49:09,223 --> 00:49:10,833
I just wanna see what's in here.

696
00:49:10,933 --> 00:49:12,293
- But...
- No, no, come on.

697
00:49:12,393 --> 00:49:14,879
- We're not allowed...
- Just for a second.

698
00:49:14,979 --> 00:49:19,066
- I don't think we should be in here.
- Yes, we should definitely be in here.

699
00:49:44,508 --> 00:49:45,676
It's incredible.

700
00:49:59,398 --> 00:50:00,733
I like you, Mary.

701
00:50:02,318 --> 00:50:03,611
I really do.

702
00:50:04,695 --> 00:50:05,779
Why?

703
00:50:07,698 --> 00:50:08,866
You're beautiful.

704
00:50:10,326 --> 00:50:11,785
And you speak for yourself.

705
00:50:12,453 --> 00:50:14,313
God gave us all free will,

706
00:50:14,413 --> 00:50:18,192
and that day
at Hilary Faye's prayer circle,

707
00:50:18,292 --> 00:50:20,169
you weren't afraid to use it.

708
00:50:21,253 --> 00:50:22,588
You inspired me.

709
00:50:25,007 --> 00:50:26,884
You amaze me, Mary.

710
00:50:35,392 --> 00:50:37,086
This is a bad idea. I knew it.

711
00:50:37,186 --> 00:50:40,798
- Wait a minute.
- You're not my type, Patrick.

712
00:50:40,898 --> 00:50:42,650
Why? Why not?

713
00:50:43,651 --> 00:50:44,944
I'm sorry.

714
00:50:46,862 --> 00:50:47,988
Mary, wait.

715
00:50:53,994 --> 00:50:55,663
Thanks.

716
00:51:04,380 --> 00:51:07,908
So, I duct taped a piece of rotten bacon
inside Hilary Faye's locker.

717
00:51:08,008 --> 00:51:09,118
That's disgusting.

718
00:51:09,218 --> 00:51:12,455
She made me listen to
the entire Elms CD on her iPOD.

719
00:51:12,555 --> 00:51:14,540
I didn't ask you to get saved.

720
00:51:14,640 --> 00:51:15,958
Anyway, it's not a big deal.

721
00:51:16,058 --> 00:51:18,335
Last year I got saved
so I could go on a ski trip.

722
00:51:18,435 --> 00:51:20,020
Oh, my God!

723
00:51:22,356 --> 00:51:23,632
How do you feel?

724
00:51:23,732 --> 00:51:26,135
I'm a whole new girl, Hay Faye.

725
00:51:26,235 --> 00:51:29,196
I told you! How great is Jesus?

726
00:51:31,740 --> 00:51:36,412
About that, I've decided
to devote my life to Satan instead.

727
00:51:37,413 --> 00:51:38,497
Thanks, though!

728
00:51:39,164 --> 00:51:40,332
What?

729
00:51:45,087 --> 00:51:47,214
Who beefed?

730
00:51:48,424 --> 00:51:52,077
She was found to be pregnant
through the Holy Spirit.

731
00:51:52,177 --> 00:51:54,663
When he had contemplated this,
an angel of the Lord

732
00:51:54,763 --> 00:51:58,542
appeared to him in a dream
and said, "Joseph, son of David,

733
00:51:58,642 --> 00:52:01,295
"do not be afraid
to take Mary as your wife

734
00:52:01,395 --> 00:52:05,841
"because the child conceived in her
is from the Holy Spirit.

735
00:52:05,941 --> 00:52:09,929
Behold, a virgin shall conceive
and bear a son."

736
00:52:10,029 --> 00:52:12,181
I know this is, like, totally wrong,

737
00:52:12,281 --> 00:52:15,226
but don't you ever wonder
if she made the whole thing up?

738
00:52:15,326 --> 00:52:17,770
I mean, you have to admit it's a good one.

739
00:52:17,870 --> 00:52:21,248
It's not like anyone could use
virgin birth as an excuse again.

740
00:52:22,958 --> 00:52:24,985
I don't really think she made it up,

741
00:52:25,085 --> 00:52:27,254
but I could understand why a girl would.

742
00:52:28,631 --> 00:52:30,658
Quit being so stingy.

743
00:52:30,758 --> 00:52:33,410
What? They're my
Valentine's Day chocolates.

744
00:52:33,510 --> 00:52:36,931
Hilary Faye, you bought them
for yourself, so it doesn't count.

745
00:52:39,058 --> 00:52:40,584
You still have that?

746
00:52:40,684 --> 00:52:43,170
I haven't decided
if I wanna give it to him yet.

747
00:52:43,270 --> 00:52:44,980
Well, you better decide fast.

748
00:52:50,986 --> 00:52:52,821
Happy Valentine's Day.

749
00:52:53,656 --> 00:52:55,783
- Thank you.
- I made it myself.

750
00:53:00,663 --> 00:53:02,790
It's a dumb idea anyway.

751
00:53:29,275 --> 00:53:32,261
Mary's been going through
a lot of changes this year, and...

752
00:53:32,361 --> 00:53:34,572
a relationship is the last thing
she needs right now.

753
00:53:35,948 --> 00:53:38,033
Yeah, you're the relationship expert.

754
00:53:39,410 --> 00:53:41,270
You and Mom don't even talk any more.

755
00:53:41,370 --> 00:53:43,481
That's because your mom
has her missionary position,

756
00:53:43,581 --> 00:53:46,567
and I have my responsibilities
running the school, and...

757
00:53:46,667 --> 00:53:48,944
Mom told me everything this summer.

758
00:53:49,044 --> 00:53:51,672
Why didn't you just get divorced
when she wanted to?

759
00:53:53,674 --> 00:53:55,951
Because divorce is not part of God's plan.

760
00:53:56,051 --> 00:53:59,430
Dad, you need to think of a new plan.

761
00:54:02,933 --> 00:54:05,294
I thought you were
at your meeting with Pastor Skip.

762
00:54:05,394 --> 00:54:07,296
It got cancelled.

763
00:54:07,396 --> 00:54:11,133
Again?
That's, like, three times this week?

764
00:54:11,233 --> 00:54:12,276
Four.

765
00:54:14,904 --> 00:54:18,140
Well, do you wanna talk about it?

766
00:54:18,240 --> 00:54:21,076
I think this one's between me and Jesus.

767
00:54:22,912 --> 00:54:25,314
But do you wanna talk?

768
00:54:25,414 --> 00:54:26,540
No.

769
00:54:32,171 --> 00:54:33,823
I keep trying to remind myself

770
00:54:33,923 --> 00:54:37,076
that when Jesus shuts a door,
he opens a window.

771
00:54:37,176 --> 00:54:40,179
Yeah, so we have something
we can jump out of.

772
00:54:50,356 --> 00:54:53,175
- Hello.
- Hey, it's me.

773
00:54:53,275 --> 00:54:57,680
I'm trying to get the board to okay
this new youth outreach program...

774
00:54:57,780 --> 00:55:03,018
you get the kids into the church
via rock music concerts.

775
00:55:03,118 --> 00:55:07,356
One of the board members says,
"Hey, I can't tell the difference

776
00:55:07,456 --> 00:55:10,985
between Christian rock
and secular rock anymore."

777
00:55:11,085 --> 00:55:14,321
And I said, "Dude, exactly."

778
00:55:14,421 --> 00:55:17,199
You get their attention, and then
you hit them with the message,

779
00:55:17,299 --> 00:55:19,577
and boom, you've saved another soul.

780
00:55:19,677 --> 00:55:21,370
- Skip.
- What?

781
00:55:21,470 --> 00:55:22,930
I don't care.

782
00:55:23,806 --> 00:55:25,624
- You don't care?
- I've missed you.

783
00:55:25,724 --> 00:55:27,977
I've missed our meetings.

784
00:55:28,811 --> 00:55:32,815
I feel good when I'm with you.
I think you feel good, too.

785
00:55:39,321 --> 00:55:41,365
I've missed you, too, yeah.

786
00:55:42,283 --> 00:55:45,853
I wonder why God would give us
these feelings of happiness,

787
00:55:45,953 --> 00:55:49,732
if what we're doing is wrong.

788
00:55:49,832 --> 00:55:51,942
What are we doing, Lillian?

789
00:55:52,042 --> 00:55:54,837
We haven't done anything
to be ashamed of, Skip.

790
00:55:58,340 --> 00:56:01,368
Is this how people
turn away from Christ's teachings?

791
00:56:01,468 --> 00:56:02,678
I mean, I...

792
00:56:04,346 --> 00:56:08,167
All the... all the bible study I've done,

793
00:56:08,267 --> 00:56:11,896
all the preaching
I've done to the kids, and...

794
00:56:13,355 --> 00:56:18,360
all the prayers
for forgiveness I've prayed, and...

795
00:56:23,657 --> 00:56:25,534
All I can think about is...

796
00:56:26,994 --> 00:56:28,787
kissing you.

797
00:56:30,122 --> 00:56:32,875
I want... I want to kiss you.

798
00:56:37,129 --> 00:56:38,464
Then kiss me.

799
00:56:54,188 --> 00:56:57,883
By Easter, it seemed Jesus
had answered my mom's prayers,

800
00:56:57,983 --> 00:57:01,595
and she was as happy as she was
when she first got back from Orlando.

801
00:57:01,695 --> 00:57:04,640
I'm probably gonna be late tonight
'cause I have my meeting.

802
00:57:04,740 --> 00:57:07,643
I know. What, are you
meeting twice a week now?

803
00:57:07,743 --> 00:57:09,370
Or petrol, you could do petrol.

804
00:57:11,497 --> 00:57:15,417
Pastor Skip suggested Patrick take
more interest in school activities.

805
00:57:16,377 --> 00:57:19,363
He said that by focusing
his energies on the Lord,

806
00:57:19,463 --> 00:57:21,882
he would have less time
to think about dating.

807
00:57:23,008 --> 00:57:27,888
Or I should say, he would have
less time to think about dating me.

808
00:57:36,772 --> 00:57:40,359
Now, that's what I call
being hung on a cross.

809
00:57:50,744 --> 00:57:54,190
Patrick and I and everyone...
we're gonna go grab some food.

810
00:57:54,290 --> 00:57:57,334
- If you guys wanna come, that'd be cool.
- We're going to DQ.

811
00:57:57,835 --> 00:58:01,297
So we can watch Hilary Faye
try and get into your Easter basket?

812
00:58:01,422 --> 00:58:02,448
No, thanks.

813
00:58:02,548 --> 00:58:07,620
Cassandra, it's not too late to achieve
a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

814
00:58:07,720 --> 00:58:11,373
Eternal damnation's
not fit for anyone, not even you.

815
00:58:11,473 --> 00:58:12,958
- Right?
- Good one.

816
00:58:13,058 --> 00:58:15,586
I should kick your fat,
Christian ass right now.

817
00:58:15,686 --> 00:58:17,630
Really? Do you know
that I could get you expelled

818
00:58:17,730 --> 00:58:19,882
for that type of language, Edelstein?

819
00:58:19,982 --> 00:58:22,635
- And I'm not even fat, okay?
- Your head is fat!

820
00:58:22,735 --> 00:58:24,386
And your ass is fat!

821
00:58:24,486 --> 00:58:25,888
- Whatever!
- It's like she's retarded!

822
00:58:25,988 --> 00:58:28,641
I'm two months away from getting
outta here without anyone knowing.

823
00:58:28,741 --> 00:58:33,370
Just... it's hard, but cool it, okay?

824
00:58:34,079 --> 00:58:36,123
Next time, the bitch is going down.

825
00:58:37,249 --> 00:58:38,400
I'm sorry.

826
00:58:38,500 --> 00:58:40,336
I wanna show you something.

827
00:58:43,297 --> 00:58:45,507
It's a sonogram I took a while ago.

828
00:58:46,634 --> 00:58:48,260
I'm having a little girl.

829
00:58:48,928 --> 00:58:50,663
You sure you're not having a sea monkey?

830
00:58:50,763 --> 00:58:53,182
- Yeah.
- She's beautiful.

831
00:58:54,183 --> 00:58:56,585
You think it's safe
to keep this in your locker?

832
00:58:56,685 --> 00:58:58,521
- Safer than at home.
- Let's go.

833
00:59:00,231 --> 00:59:04,760
I don't really get how someone
so pretty can be so... ugly.

834
00:59:04,860 --> 00:59:06,178
She wasn't always pretty.

835
00:59:06,278 --> 00:59:09,306
My parents didn't want two handicapped
kids, and she was the easy fix.

836
00:59:09,406 --> 00:59:11,058
What do you mean "handicapped?"

837
00:59:11,158 --> 00:59:12,268
Before we moved to Cherry Hill,

838
00:59:12,368 --> 00:59:14,478
before the fat camps and Tetracycline,

839
00:59:14,578 --> 00:59:16,413
her outside matched her inside.

840
00:59:25,339 --> 00:59:27,007
Oh, my God.

841
00:59:28,801 --> 00:59:31,996
- Just make sure you put this back.
- I'll take care of it tonight.

842
00:59:32,096 --> 00:59:33,914
- What are you doing with that?
- Nothing.

843
00:59:34,014 --> 00:59:36,225
Well, well, well.

844
00:59:37,393 --> 00:59:38,627
If it isn't the heathens.

845
00:59:38,727 --> 00:59:42,064
Burn in hell,
you narrow-minded, tacky-ass bitch.

846
00:59:44,191 --> 00:59:46,135
Burn in hell, you narrow-minded...

847
00:59:46,235 --> 00:59:48,179
- She doesn't mean it.
- Yes, I do!

848
00:59:48,279 --> 00:59:50,698
You're gonna be expelled for sure
for threatening me!

849
00:59:54,743 --> 00:59:58,314
Pastor Skip put us on work detail
for Hilary Faye's prom committee.

850
00:59:58,414 --> 01:00:00,357
You better be wearing
underpants this time.

851
01:00:00,457 --> 01:00:02,276
A particularly cruel punishment.

852
01:00:02,376 --> 01:00:04,211
No, seriously, move it higher.

853
01:00:05,296 --> 01:00:07,114
- Higher!
- You're doing a great job.

854
01:00:07,214 --> 01:00:08,991
It's looking really phat.

855
01:00:09,091 --> 01:00:10,509
I'm so glad.

856
01:00:12,678 --> 01:00:14,847
Hey, Mary, you need some help?

857
01:00:15,598 --> 01:00:17,725
- Sure, thanks.
- I'll come to you.

858
01:00:21,270 --> 01:00:26,734
So, listen, I was wondering,
what are you doing the night of prom?

859
01:00:26,901 --> 01:00:28,803
Why? Are you asking me to prom?

860
01:00:28,903 --> 01:00:29,945
Maybe.

861
01:00:32,031 --> 01:00:34,391
- Okay.
- Okay?

862
01:00:34,491 --> 01:00:36,393
Yeah, okay, I'll go with you.

863
01:00:36,493 --> 01:00:38,162
As friends.

864
01:00:42,499 --> 01:00:44,235
Okay, as friends.

865
01:00:44,335 --> 01:00:46,487
I thought you were gonna
ask Patrick to the prom.

866
01:00:46,587 --> 01:00:48,197
Tia, would you just shut up?

867
01:00:48,297 --> 01:00:50,533
Do you wanna go back to being
invisible girl with bad hair?

868
01:00:50,633 --> 01:00:52,243
That could easily happen.

869
01:00:52,343 --> 01:00:55,037
Just don't ask stupid questions!

870
01:00:55,137 --> 01:00:56,472
Did you take care of business?

871
01:00:59,391 --> 01:01:00,893
Now, where are you going?

872
01:01:01,894 --> 01:01:04,797
You can tacky-up prom
on your own, because I quit.

873
01:01:04,897 --> 01:01:07,174
Oh, my gosh. You can't quit.

874
01:01:07,274 --> 01:01:10,094
Watch me. Watch me walking away.

875
01:01:10,194 --> 01:01:11,946
Watch me walking away from Jesus.

876
01:01:12,488 --> 01:01:13,489
What?

877
01:01:14,156 --> 01:01:16,075
Yes, this is she. Who is this?

878
01:01:16,951 --> 01:01:18,827
Are you serious?

879
01:01:21,163 --> 01:01:23,082
Thank you so much.

880
01:01:25,668 --> 01:01:28,837
Godflight has agreed to perform
at our prom! Can you believe that?

881
01:01:29,421 --> 01:01:31,615
Prayer works for everything! I told you.

882
01:01:31,715 --> 01:01:35,745
- Oh, my gosh.
- I'm so excited.

883
01:01:35,845 --> 01:01:37,972
Now she's never gonna shut up.

884
01:01:38,639 --> 01:01:41,100
Give her about ten minutes.

885
01:01:59,034 --> 01:02:01,645
Turn them off! Turn them off now, please!

886
01:02:01,745 --> 01:02:02,913
Turn them...

887
01:02:07,710 --> 01:02:09,111
What?

888
01:02:09,211 --> 01:02:10,946
It's not fair.

889
01:02:11,046 --> 01:02:15,076
I am trying to be a good Christian
and a living example of Christ's love,

890
01:02:15,176 --> 01:02:18,579
and I have done nothing
but bust my buns for those sinners.

891
01:02:18,679 --> 01:02:21,123
And you know that Cassandra
and Mary are behind this.

892
01:02:21,223 --> 01:02:22,625
Do you have proof?

893
01:02:22,725 --> 01:02:25,978
I gave you proof before,
and you did not do one thing about it.

894
01:02:26,979 --> 01:02:30,691
Those who did this will not escape
the eyes of God, Hilary Faye.

895
01:02:38,949 --> 01:02:41,143
Please, Lord, don't leave me alone.

896
01:02:41,243 --> 01:02:44,413
They need to know
that what they've done is wrong.

897
01:02:49,084 --> 01:02:53,088
Please, Lord, please.
Just tell me what I need to do.

898
01:03:01,764 --> 01:03:03,624
Listen, by the end of the week
we're out of here.

899
01:03:03,724 --> 01:03:06,393
- She can't do anything.
- No, I know.

900
01:03:08,687 --> 01:03:10,105
What's going on?

901
01:03:10,814 --> 01:03:12,007
Oh, my God.

902
01:03:12,107 --> 01:03:14,985
- Somebody call the police.
- Can you believe it?

903
01:03:15,903 --> 01:03:19,657
No way. This is screwed up.

904
01:03:21,200 --> 01:03:22,368
Oh, my God.

905
01:03:23,244 --> 01:03:25,663
Holy crap!

906
01:03:29,375 --> 01:03:30,815
- That's sad.
- Turn away. Turn away.

907
01:03:33,420 --> 01:03:36,699
All right. Everybody,
let's get to our classes, please.

908
01:03:36,799 --> 01:03:39,385
- You two come in with me.
- What?

909
01:03:41,053 --> 01:03:44,098
Unacceptable.
I can't even concentrate today.

910
01:03:48,978 --> 01:03:50,604
Get to class, ladies. Go on.

911
01:03:54,358 --> 01:03:56,026
What? That's not mine!

912
01:04:03,367 --> 01:04:06,120
- Pastor Skip.
- Anything else?

913
01:04:16,547 --> 01:04:18,132
No, nothing more.

914
01:04:24,513 --> 01:04:25,806
What is that?

915
01:04:31,353 --> 01:04:32,914
- Someone get the nurse!
- Just hang on.

916
01:04:35,232 --> 01:04:36,833
I can't believe we were friends with her.

917
01:04:38,861 --> 01:04:41,030
You have everything, Hilary Faye.

918
01:04:41,864 --> 01:04:43,657
What are you afraid of?

919
01:04:46,035 --> 01:04:49,538
So you offered up
your virginity to save Dean?

920
01:04:52,041 --> 01:04:53,792
Because Jesus told you to?

921
01:04:55,211 --> 01:04:57,838
- Anything else?
- No.

922
01:04:58,672 --> 01:05:01,175
Can I have a word with you?

923
01:05:06,805 --> 01:05:08,541
What's the matter, Skip?

924
01:05:08,641 --> 01:05:10,684
You didn't know that she was pregnant?

925
01:05:11,435 --> 01:05:14,422
I thought she was stress eating,
I didn't want her to get a complex.

926
01:05:14,522 --> 01:05:18,901
You are so blinded by this...
that you can't even see it.

927
01:05:19,902 --> 01:05:21,262
Let me spell it out to you.

928
01:05:21,362 --> 01:05:27,226
God is punishing us for our sin
by getting our attention through Mary.

929
01:05:27,326 --> 01:05:28,686
That doesn't even make sense.

930
01:05:28,786 --> 01:05:31,897
And the longer we lived in sin,
the worse things got for her.

931
01:05:31,997 --> 01:05:35,025
And what's worse is we're not
spiritually right with the Lord,

932
01:05:35,125 --> 01:05:37,878
and we are not fit to help her.

933
01:05:43,092 --> 01:05:45,995
Dean has been here
for almost a year, okay?

934
01:05:46,095 --> 01:05:47,888
They can help her.

935
01:05:49,473 --> 01:05:51,058
I wanna think about it.

936
01:05:52,434 --> 01:05:55,421
If you're not gonna send her
to get the help she needs.

937
01:05:55,521 --> 01:05:57,314
I can't see you any more.

938
01:05:59,567 --> 01:06:00,926
Cassandra, wait!

939
01:06:01,026 --> 01:06:03,846
He expelled me! Can you believe that?

940
01:06:03,946 --> 01:06:06,766
And the one time I didn't do anything.

941
01:06:06,866 --> 01:06:08,367
Well, I'll go with you.

942
01:06:11,912 --> 01:06:14,081
I can't deal with this right now,
I have to go.

943
01:06:15,332 --> 01:06:16,500
Wait!

944
01:06:24,925 --> 01:06:26,302
I don't have a ride.

945
01:08:14,410 --> 01:08:16,287
Please help me find him.

946
01:08:31,177 --> 01:08:33,596
You know where a girl can get some smokes?

947
01:08:44,064 --> 01:08:45,508
You never fold things.

948
01:08:45,608 --> 01:08:48,068
Well, I'm folding now.

949
01:08:48,861 --> 01:08:50,387
I'm not going to Mercy House.

950
01:08:50,487 --> 01:08:52,848
We agreed that this is for the best.

951
01:08:52,948 --> 01:08:54,183
We? Who's we?

952
01:08:54,283 --> 01:08:57,895
Pastor Skip said this child needs
to be raised by a mother and a father.

953
01:08:57,995 --> 01:08:59,688
So I don't even get a say in this?

954
01:08:59,788 --> 01:09:02,458
You're not prepared
to raise this child by yourself!

955
01:09:05,794 --> 01:09:08,506
Something like this could
ruin the rest of your life.

956
01:09:12,760 --> 01:09:14,620
So, what, did I ruin yours, Mom?

957
01:09:14,720 --> 01:09:16,555
Don't talk like that.

958
01:09:22,603 --> 01:09:24,463
It looks so perfect.

959
01:09:24,563 --> 01:09:26,549
Just like the picture that I brought in.

960
01:09:26,649 --> 01:09:27,733
Thank you.

961
01:09:30,611 --> 01:09:32,446
Crap.

962
01:09:33,531 --> 01:09:36,617
I'm sorry, but it's been declined.
Do you have another card?

963
01:09:40,996 --> 01:09:42,231
I knew it.

964
01:09:42,331 --> 01:09:46,652
Listen, I'm really sorry
I ditched you yesterday.

965
01:09:46,752 --> 01:09:49,046
Look, this year has been great.

966
01:09:50,130 --> 01:09:54,243
Before you, it was all about Hilary Faye
dragging my ass around all the time.

967
01:09:54,343 --> 01:09:57,555
When you left yesterday,
I stuck on my own.

968
01:09:58,764 --> 01:10:00,474
And it was okay.

969
01:10:01,851 --> 01:10:03,335
So...

970
01:10:03,435 --> 01:10:08,758
So I realized that I might
just be relying on you

971
01:10:08,858 --> 01:10:12,261
the same way I was relying on Hilary Faye.

972
01:10:12,361 --> 01:10:16,490
I don't wanna be the guy who's
with the girl because he needs her.

973
01:10:17,283 --> 01:10:20,369
I wanna be the guy who's
with the girl because he wants her.

974
01:10:22,496 --> 01:10:23,747
And I want you.

975
01:10:25,708 --> 01:10:27,459
I want you, too.

976
01:10:32,089 --> 01:10:34,450
And I thought it was all about the sex.

977
01:10:34,550 --> 01:10:36,844
Oh, well, that too.

978
01:10:38,179 --> 01:10:42,224
Look, I have
this crazy idea about tonight.

979
01:10:50,608 --> 01:10:52,735
Mary, Roland's on the phone.

980
01:10:53,777 --> 01:10:54,945
I got it.

981
01:10:56,947 --> 01:10:58,699
What's going on?

982
01:11:06,415 --> 01:11:09,627
- Hello. Where you headed?
- Lombard and Kale, please.

983
01:11:20,262 --> 01:11:21,931
You guys look incredible.

984
01:11:22,848 --> 01:11:25,000
You're not really going to prom, are you?

985
01:11:25,100 --> 01:11:29,605
Don't get angry,
but I got you a really sexy dress.

986
01:11:30,564 --> 01:11:33,384
Hilary Faye's gonna call the cops
if we show up at her prom.

987
01:11:33,484 --> 01:11:34,677
No, she won't.

988
01:11:34,777 --> 01:11:36,095
See, I've been snagging
all her credit card bills

989
01:11:36,195 --> 01:11:38,973
so she wouldn't find out about
all the charges we made, right?

990
01:11:39,073 --> 01:11:40,015
Look at this.

991
01:11:40,115 --> 01:11:43,018
She charged a bunch
of spray paint at Home Depot

992
01:11:43,118 --> 01:11:44,854
at 3 A.M. on the morning of the attack.

993
01:11:44,954 --> 01:11:46,397
Now we have proof.

994
01:11:46,497 --> 01:11:48,916
We have every right to be at that prom.

995
01:11:51,835 --> 01:11:55,631
Oh, yeah.
We've got another surprise for you.

996
01:12:23,158 --> 01:12:24,143
So cute.

997
01:12:24,243 --> 01:12:27,354
I got yellow and red
'cause I didn't know which one...

998
01:12:27,454 --> 01:12:28,789
But, Patrick...

999
01:12:32,084 --> 01:12:34,587
It really doesn't matter to me.

1000
01:12:36,505 --> 01:12:37,965
Are you sure?

1001
01:12:41,760 --> 01:12:42,803
Yeah.

1002
01:13:01,614 --> 01:13:02,932
Red. Right.

1003
01:13:03,032 --> 01:13:07,269
I can't believe that you guys
did all of this for me.

1004
01:13:07,369 --> 01:13:08,787
So, you in?

1005
01:13:12,458 --> 01:13:13,500
I'm in.

1006
01:13:14,126 --> 01:13:16,278
I knew Mary was hiding something.

1007
01:13:16,378 --> 01:13:20,950
To imagine her humping that pervert
makes me sick to my stomach.

1008
01:13:21,050 --> 01:13:23,385
- Gross.
- And Roland still hasn't shown up.

1009
01:13:23,511 --> 01:13:26,038
I can't believe your own brother
calls you the "C" word.

1010
01:13:26,138 --> 01:13:28,599
I can't believe we have to go
to the prom in this van.

1011
01:13:29,183 --> 01:13:31,210
Yeah, well, get over it, okay?

1012
01:13:31,310 --> 01:13:34,797
When I tried to pay for my hair, my
credit card was mysteriously maxed out,

1013
01:13:34,897 --> 01:13:38,134
and the limo guy wouldn't take
a personal check. Get off my back!

1014
01:13:38,234 --> 01:13:40,219
It's bad enough we don't have dates.

1015
01:13:40,319 --> 01:13:42,555
Hey, let me try that tiara on.

1016
01:13:42,655 --> 01:13:44,198
Lay off the tiara, Tia!

1017
01:13:52,331 --> 01:13:54,500
Your pimple hardly shows, Hilary Faye.

1018
01:13:55,417 --> 01:13:56,777
Come on, Tia! Let's get the lead out!

1019
01:13:56,877 --> 01:13:58,671
Let's go. We're gonna be late.

1020
01:13:59,505 --> 01:14:01,157
Coming.

1021
01:14:01,257 --> 01:14:03,242
- Okay?
- You look beautiful.

1022
01:14:03,342 --> 01:14:04,660
You can hardly see that thing.

1023
01:14:04,760 --> 01:14:07,037
Can you stop bringing it up? Thank you.

1024
01:14:07,137 --> 01:14:10,057
Let's go. Come on, Tia. Walk fast.

1025
01:14:10,891 --> 01:14:11,917
Run.

1026
01:14:12,017 --> 01:14:15,171
Name the most recognizable
figure in the world.

1027
01:14:15,271 --> 01:14:16,881
Jesus Christ.

1028
01:14:16,981 --> 01:14:19,425
- Madonna?
- Jesus Christ.

1029
01:14:19,525 --> 01:14:22,636
Newborns bond with their mothers
during the first three what?

1030
01:14:22,736 --> 01:14:24,764
- Minutes.
- Months.

1031
01:14:24,864 --> 01:14:27,475
No! The correct answer is minutes.

1032
01:14:27,575 --> 01:14:28,684
In "The Wizard of Oz,"

1033
01:14:28,784 --> 01:14:32,521
Dorothy clicks her heels
three times and says what?

1034
01:14:32,621 --> 01:14:33,873
Charlene.

1035
01:14:50,639 --> 01:14:52,416
Are you ready?

1036
01:14:52,516 --> 01:14:55,294
- Sure.
- Sure.

1037
01:14:55,394 --> 01:14:56,437
Why are they here?

1038
01:16:10,803 --> 01:16:14,139
Praise Jesus, everybody! Jesus loves you!

1039
01:16:15,975 --> 01:16:18,686
We're taking a short break.
We'll be back in ten.

1040
01:16:25,150 --> 01:16:27,862
We will inherit the earth. Praise Jesus.

1041
01:16:31,073 --> 01:16:32,641
On behalf of the prom committee.

1042
01:16:32,741 --> 01:16:34,602
I wanna thank each and every one of you

1043
01:16:34,702 --> 01:16:37,980
for making our "Light of the World"
prom a huge success.

1044
01:16:38,080 --> 01:16:39,832
Give yourself a round of applause.

1045
01:16:42,293 --> 01:16:46,447
But on a sadder note...
I don't want to dampen the evening...

1046
01:16:46,547 --> 01:16:48,908
but the students who were responsible

1047
01:16:49,008 --> 01:16:53,512
for the attacks on our school
have infiltrated our prom.

1048
01:16:55,764 --> 01:16:57,625
Pastor Skip?

1049
01:16:57,725 --> 01:17:00,628
Mary Cummings and Cassandra Edelstein
have crashed our prom.

1050
01:17:00,728 --> 01:17:02,922
- Could you please...
- Maybe we should get out of here.

1051
01:17:03,022 --> 01:17:04,356
We're not going anywhere.

1052
01:17:06,609 --> 01:17:10,721
Roland, where have you been?
I've been very worried about you.

1053
01:17:10,821 --> 01:17:12,239
You look like you survived.

1054
01:17:14,491 --> 01:17:15,576
- Excuse me.
- Finally.

1055
01:17:16,118 --> 01:17:17,311
All right. Chill out, everybody.

1056
01:17:17,411 --> 01:17:20,022
I don't think these students
are here to do us any harm.

1057
01:17:20,122 --> 01:17:22,441
- What? Are you kidding?
- No, I'm not kidding.

1058
01:17:22,541 --> 01:17:26,237
I think the Christian thing to do
would be to let them stay.

1059
01:17:26,337 --> 01:17:28,531
The Christian thing to do?

1060
01:17:28,631 --> 01:17:31,534
I've been doing
the Christian thing my entire life.

1061
01:17:31,634 --> 01:17:35,746
I did not have sex with a gay
and try and blame it on Jesus.

1062
01:17:35,846 --> 01:17:39,375
- Just cool it, Hil.
- Shut up, you fornicator.

1063
01:17:39,475 --> 01:17:42,253
And I did not hack into
the school's computer system

1064
01:17:42,353 --> 01:17:45,381
and cover our walls
with that blasphemous graffiti, either.

1065
01:17:45,481 --> 01:17:48,901
You planted that paint on Cassandra
and Mary to get them kicked out of school.

1066
01:17:50,694 --> 01:17:52,154
That's such a lie.

1067
01:17:52,988 --> 01:17:54,390
Oh, please.

1068
01:17:54,490 --> 01:17:55,808
And what does this prove,

1069
01:17:55,908 --> 01:17:59,245
except the fact that you stole
my credit card to charge the paint...

1070
01:18:00,371 --> 01:18:03,332
and the clothes from Maternity Girl.

1071
01:18:05,292 --> 01:18:08,195
Yeah, she's right, Roland.
Anybody could've made these charges.

1072
01:18:08,295 --> 01:18:12,258
Oh, yeah? You swear to God
you didn't frame us, Hilary Faye?

1073
01:18:13,425 --> 01:18:14,535
No, I will not.

1074
01:18:14,635 --> 01:18:16,203
You can't swear, can you?

1075
01:18:16,303 --> 01:18:18,080
Go ahead, swear it.

1076
01:18:18,180 --> 01:18:20,766
Come on, Hil. Swear before God
and everyone else.

1077
01:18:29,400 --> 01:18:30,776
All right, I swear.

1078
01:18:31,861 --> 01:18:35,239
I swear to God
I did not graffiti our school.

1079
01:18:37,366 --> 01:18:38,701
Are you guys happy?

1080
01:18:39,827 --> 01:18:41,579
Oh, yes, you did, Hilary Faye.

1081
01:18:42,705 --> 01:18:45,332
I found this crammed up under her seat.

1082
01:18:46,584 --> 01:18:47,626
What?

1083
01:18:48,878 --> 01:18:50,921
It's got your signature, Hilary Faye.

1084
01:18:56,552 --> 01:18:57,620
Come on, Veronica. Let's go.

1085
01:18:57,720 --> 01:18:58,929
Let me go!

1086
01:18:59,805 --> 01:19:02,975
You are nothing but a big fake!

1087
01:19:07,396 --> 01:19:09,064
I think you should go, Hilary.

1088
01:19:12,067 --> 01:19:13,636
Step aside, please.

1089
01:19:13,736 --> 01:19:15,346
- Hil...
- Get away from me!

1090
01:19:15,446 --> 01:19:17,264
- You really should go now.
- You go!

1091
01:19:17,364 --> 01:19:20,101
I designed these decorations here!

1092
01:19:20,201 --> 01:19:22,228
And my father donated the refreshments!

1093
01:19:22,328 --> 01:19:24,605
And I got Godflight onstage, okay?

1094
01:19:24,705 --> 01:19:28,818
And I was just doing this
because Jesus told me to. He did!

1095
01:19:28,918 --> 01:19:32,755
Now, you, get out of my way!
All of you, get out of my way!

1096
01:19:52,316 --> 01:19:54,109
Get out of my way, you freaks!

1097
01:20:16,382 --> 01:20:17,967
I'll go get Patrick and Mary.

1098
01:20:22,930 --> 01:20:24,890
What are you... What are you doing here?

1099
01:20:26,517 --> 01:20:28,018
I'm going to my prom.

1100
01:20:29,311 --> 01:20:31,939
What, did Mercy House
let you just borrow the van?

1101
01:20:35,526 --> 01:20:39,113
Not exactly. We sort of led a rebellion
and swiped it. You're pregnant?

1102
01:20:40,656 --> 01:20:41,740
Look, I really...

1103
01:20:43,284 --> 01:20:45,436
I wanted to tell you, but...

1104
01:20:45,536 --> 01:20:47,621
On the first time?

1105
01:20:48,622 --> 01:20:49,623
Yeah.

1106
01:20:54,837 --> 01:20:56,338
That is so awesome.

1107
01:20:57,798 --> 01:20:59,258
Yeah?

1108
01:21:03,220 --> 01:21:05,790
There's something I wanna tell you, too.

1109
01:21:05,890 --> 01:21:08,684
He's your life-partner, right?

1110
01:21:11,228 --> 01:21:12,605
Prom date.

1111
01:21:14,315 --> 01:21:15,774
It's really nice to see you.

1112
01:21:17,776 --> 01:21:20,429
- Dean, this is Patrick.
- Nice to meet you.

1113
01:21:20,529 --> 01:21:21,680
Excuse me, Mary.

1114
01:21:21,780 --> 01:21:25,184
Listen, son, I suggest you
and your friends get back in the van,

1115
01:21:25,284 --> 01:21:28,604
and back to Mercy House as quick
as you can before you're all arrested.

1116
01:21:28,704 --> 01:21:30,940
We've had enough
excitement here for tonight.

1117
01:21:31,040 --> 01:21:32,082
We're not leaving.

1118
01:21:33,000 --> 01:21:35,736
What you and your friends have done
is not cool in the eyes of God.

1119
01:21:35,836 --> 01:21:38,781
- Jesus, Dad, stop it.
- Patrick, this is not a gray area.

1120
01:21:38,881 --> 01:21:42,076
- Dad, it's all a gray area.
- The Bible is black and white!

1121
01:21:42,176 --> 01:21:46,330
- Stop it! Would you listen to yourself?
- I don't need this from you now.

1122
01:21:46,430 --> 01:21:47,873
We've been kicked out
of our homes and schools,

1123
01:21:47,973 --> 01:21:49,375
and now we're gonna
be kicked out of Mercy House?

1124
01:21:49,475 --> 01:21:51,018
There's nowhere left for us to go.

1125
01:21:52,520 --> 01:21:54,104
I'm supposed to be here.

1126
01:21:55,064 --> 01:21:57,508
This is my prom.
I wanna spend it with my friends.

1127
01:21:57,608 --> 01:22:02,388
There's no room for moral ambiguity here.
The Bible is very clear about this.

1128
01:22:02,488 --> 01:22:04,181
So everything that doesn't fit

1129
01:22:04,281 --> 01:22:07,476
into some stupid idea
of what you think God wants

1130
01:22:07,576 --> 01:22:10,871
you just try to hide or fix or get rid of?

1131
01:22:11,539 --> 01:22:14,083
It's just all too much to live up to.

1132
01:22:16,001 --> 01:22:19,088
No one fits in 100% of the time.

1133
01:22:20,506 --> 01:22:22,007
Not even you.

1134
01:22:22,550 --> 01:22:23,993
I know that, Mary.

1135
01:22:24,093 --> 01:22:28,998
I know in my heart
that Jesus still loves me.

1136
01:22:29,098 --> 01:22:33,227
Why would God make us all so different...

1137
01:22:34,144 --> 01:22:35,896
if he wanted us to be the same?

1138
01:22:41,068 --> 01:22:42,403
Now what?

1139
01:23:11,348 --> 01:23:14,059
Save the heathens, Hilary Faye.

1140
01:23:16,478 --> 01:23:18,981
Be a warrior, Hilary Faye!

1141
01:23:20,357 --> 01:23:23,110
Sacrifice everything, Hilary Faye!

1142
01:23:28,824 --> 01:23:32,745
And here's your big, fat, stupid reward!

1143
01:23:34,205 --> 01:23:35,206
Oh, my God.

1144
01:23:37,750 --> 01:23:39,919
- I think I'm feeling kind of woozy.
- What?

1145
01:23:43,130 --> 01:23:44,573
Somebody call an ambulance.

1146
01:23:44,673 --> 01:23:47,092
That was so awesome, Hilary Faye!

1147
01:23:54,558 --> 01:23:55,935
Jesus Christ!

1148
01:24:19,375 --> 01:24:23,320
- You okay?
- No, Roland.

1149
01:24:23,420 --> 01:24:28,784
I crashed my van into Jesus, okay?
I have a pimple the size of Jupiter!

1150
01:24:28,884 --> 01:24:30,594
I am not okay!

1151
01:24:31,679 --> 01:24:32,847
This is...

1152
01:24:33,931 --> 01:24:37,184
not how I wanted to remember my prom.

1153
01:24:39,103 --> 01:24:42,398
This is not how I wanted
to remember my life.

1154
01:24:43,816 --> 01:24:45,401
Well, maybe we could fix it...

1155
01:24:46,277 --> 01:24:48,387
with some glue or something.

1156
01:24:48,487 --> 01:24:50,948
I am so sorry, Roland.

1157
01:24:51,574 --> 01:24:54,034
I shouldn't have ratted you out
in front of everyone.

1158
01:24:55,077 --> 01:24:57,663
I would have probably done the same thing.

1159
01:24:59,623 --> 01:25:02,485
Do you think Jesus still loves me, Roland?

1160
01:25:02,585 --> 01:25:04,128
Probably not.

1161
01:25:07,882 --> 01:25:09,884
Yeah, sure.

1162
01:25:12,344 --> 01:25:14,930
Hey, she's over here!

1163
01:25:17,099 --> 01:25:19,351
- I'm okay.
- Come on.

1164
01:25:21,979 --> 01:25:24,440
- Don't worry. I won't bite.
- Thank you.

1165
01:25:25,024 --> 01:25:27,026
- It's gonna be okay.
- Thank you.

1166
01:25:48,088 --> 01:25:49,448
I only got room for one of you.

1167
01:25:49,548 --> 01:25:51,826
- I'm the father.
- I'm the boyfriend.

1168
01:25:51,926 --> 01:25:53,369
I'm his boyfriend.

1169
01:25:53,469 --> 01:25:55,788
That's nice, but I still
only got room for one of you.

1170
01:25:55,888 --> 01:25:57,515
Starting the party without me?

1171
01:25:58,474 --> 01:25:59,934
Are you okay?

1172
01:26:03,270 --> 01:26:05,231
You didn't ruin my life, Mary.

1173
01:26:07,650 --> 01:26:09,944
Breathe, baby. Good girl.

1174
01:26:14,823 --> 01:26:16,058
Just keep breathing.

1175
01:26:16,158 --> 01:26:18,953
Good girl. You're gonna be fine.

1176
01:26:21,914 --> 01:26:25,067
Okay, I'm pretty sure
this isn't what Jesus had in mind

1177
01:26:25,167 --> 01:26:26,961
when he said, "Help Dean."

1178
01:26:28,295 --> 01:26:29,989
Look, don't be too harsh.

1179
01:26:30,089 --> 01:26:32,908
I'm not the first person
to ever get the message screwed up.

1180
01:26:33,008 --> 01:26:34,301
She's perfect.

1181
01:26:35,052 --> 01:26:39,373
Looking at her,
it's like life is too amazing

1182
01:26:39,473 --> 01:26:43,269
to be this random and meaningless
consequence of the universe.

1183
01:26:43,978 --> 01:26:45,755
There had to be a God...

1184
01:26:45,855 --> 01:26:47,940
or something out there.

1185
01:26:48,691 --> 01:26:50,426
Something inside.

1186
01:26:50,526 --> 01:26:53,237
You just have to feel it.

1187
01:26:55,739 --> 01:26:57,074
Do you want to hold her?

1188
01:27:33,027 --> 01:27:34,695
Do you want to hold her, Dean?

1189
01:27:45,873 --> 01:27:48,818
I mean, really, when you think about it...

1190
01:27:48,918 --> 01:27:50,419
what would Jesus do?

1191
01:27:51,587 --> 01:27:52,588
I don't know...

1192
01:27:53,464 --> 01:27:58,427
but in the meantime we'll be trying
to figure it out... together.