1
00:00:23,191 --> 00:00:26,778
When Judy Benjamin was 8, she told her
best friend her life's desire.

2
00:00:27,028 --> 00:00:29,781
"All I want," Judy whispered,
"is a big house...

3
00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:33,868
...nice clothes, a maid and a
professional man for a husband."

4
00:00:34,118 --> 00:00:36,454
Today, all of Judy's dreams come true.

5
00:00:36,955 --> 00:00:40,166
With this ring be thou consecrated
unto me as my wife.

6
00:00:40,458 --> 00:00:43,044
According to the law of Moses
and faith of Israel.

7
00:00:43,461 --> 00:00:46,089
According to the law of Moses
and faith of Israel.

8
00:00:46,339 --> 00:00:49,300
And you, Judy,
say to Yale these words.

9
00:00:49,551 --> 00:00:50,969
Take the ring.

10
00:00:53,805 --> 00:00:56,933
This ring is a symbol
that you are my husband.

11
00:00:57,183 --> 00:00:59,561
This ring is a symbol
that you are my husband.

12
00:00:59,811 --> 00:01:01,980
And a sign of my love and devotion.

13
00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:04,107
And a sign of my love and devotion.

14
00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:06,693
In the presence of these witnesses...

15
00:01:06,943 --> 00:01:09,237
...you spoke words
and performed the rites...

16
00:01:09,487 --> 00:01:11,614
...which unite your lives.

17
00:01:11,865 --> 00:01:14,367
I therefore declare you,
Yale and Judy...

18
00:01:14,701 --> 00:01:16,870
...husband and wife.

19
00:01:18,371 --> 00:01:19,706
Step on it.

20
00:01:22,667 --> 00:01:23,626
Mazel tov!

21
00:01:34,554 --> 00:01:38,892
PRIVATE BENJAMIN

22
00:03:15,864 --> 00:03:18,741
But I only have eyes

23
00:03:19,701 --> 00:03:21,703
For you

24
00:03:22,161 --> 00:03:24,873
Judy Goodman

25
00:03:25,540 --> 00:03:26,583
Do you have a date?

26
00:03:26,833 --> 00:03:30,712
No, I told your Uncle Phil
I'd meet him to look at his lease.

27
00:03:30,962 --> 00:03:34,048
- You're not going to work now?
- No, I'm not going to work.

28
00:03:34,299 --> 00:03:37,302
He thinks he's getting evicted.
Let me just talk to him.

29
00:03:37,552 --> 00:03:38,845
Okay?

30
00:03:39,554 --> 00:03:42,557
- Thanks for marrying me.
- You're welcome.

31
00:03:43,683 --> 00:03:45,518
Get me a Perrier with a twist?

32
00:03:52,567 --> 00:03:55,320
- Arnie!
- So you did it, huh?

33
00:03:56,654 --> 00:03:59,115
I can't believe you married Goodman...

34
00:03:59,365 --> 00:04:01,242
...when you could've had me.

35
00:04:01,576 --> 00:04:03,912
I could have lived with you, Arnie.

36
00:04:04,204 --> 00:04:06,039
Big difference.

37
00:04:08,708 --> 00:04:09,834
Judy!

38
00:04:11,336 --> 00:04:15,048
Look who I found!
Mr. Waxman, the upholsterer.

39
00:04:15,298 --> 00:04:19,552
I didn't recognize you
without nails in your mouth.

40
00:04:20,678 --> 00:04:24,265
I brought a little something
I think you're going to love.

41
00:04:33,191 --> 00:04:36,361
Mr. Waxman, you finished the ottoman!

42
00:04:36,611 --> 00:04:39,113
Yale will be thrilled.

43
00:04:39,906 --> 00:04:42,867
Wait a minute!
Is this mushroom piping?

44
00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:45,995
Looks beige-y to me, Ma.
This isn't the right color, is it?

45
00:04:46,246 --> 00:04:47,372
Ben...

46
00:04:47,622 --> 00:04:49,499
...what happened to the mushroom?

47
00:04:49,749 --> 00:04:53,336
That's as close as you're going
to get to mushroom in Philadelphia.

48
00:04:53,586 --> 00:04:56,548
Mr. Waxman, we've been
through this a zillion times.

49
00:04:56,798 --> 00:04:59,926
I told you I'm doing Yale's study
in mushroom.

50
00:05:00,927 --> 00:05:04,222
I'm sure you could've found
a yard of mushroom fabric.

51
00:05:05,557 --> 00:05:08,017
You want it, I'll get it.

52
00:05:08,434 --> 00:05:10,603
This is your night!

53
00:05:12,772 --> 00:05:14,065
Wheels?!

54
00:05:14,315 --> 00:05:16,860
Mr. Waxman, I wanted upholstered balls.

55
00:05:18,945 --> 00:05:20,864
Upholstered balls?

56
00:05:31,916 --> 00:05:33,793
- Come on, Peanut.
- Where're we going?

57
00:05:34,043 --> 00:05:36,004
- My feet hurt.
- Your feet will be fine.

58
00:05:36,254 --> 00:05:37,547
I just want to talk to you.

59
00:05:46,139 --> 00:05:48,474
What? Want a divorce already?

60
00:05:48,725 --> 00:05:50,852
Darling, I have a very bad headache.

61
00:05:51,102 --> 00:05:55,273
No wonder, you've danced all night.
I'll get some Tylenol from Mom.

62
00:05:55,565 --> 00:05:56,482
Sweetheart...

63
00:05:56,733 --> 00:05:58,860
...it's not a Tylenol headache.

64
00:05:59,819 --> 00:06:01,529
- Honey!
- Please?

65
00:06:01,821 --> 00:06:04,908
- Honey, not here!
- Please, why not? Come on!

66
00:06:05,158 --> 00:06:07,952
Why? Because everybody
I know is ten feet away.

67
00:06:08,203 --> 00:06:11,414
- They're having a good time. Please?
- No, I'll ruin my dress.

68
00:06:11,664 --> 00:06:15,335
- Your dress is fine. Come on!
- Honey, please? I don't want to.

69
00:06:19,214 --> 00:06:20,965
Kiss me first.

70
00:06:36,689 --> 00:06:38,191
I love you so much.

71
00:06:38,441 --> 00:06:39,817
Hi, Yale.

72
00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:44,405
Judy's always been
a good girl. Always!

73
00:06:44,781 --> 00:06:47,200
She made a mistake
with the first husband.

74
00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:51,538
That's ancient history. The smartest
thing she ever did was to marry you.

75
00:06:51,788 --> 00:06:52,664
That's nice, Teddy.

76
00:06:52,914 --> 00:06:55,250
It's very important
for a father to know...

77
00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:58,878
...his daughter's going to be
well taken care of. Don't laugh!

78
00:06:59,337 --> 00:07:02,382
You'll know what I mean
when your daughter gets married.

79
00:07:02,632 --> 00:07:04,509
Anyway, that's number one.

80
00:07:04,759 --> 00:07:06,094
Number two!

81
00:07:06,386 --> 00:07:08,137
We'll still have Sunday breakfasts?

82
00:07:08,513 --> 00:07:10,181
- Of course, Daddy.
- Good.

83
00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:12,851
You can get the whitefish
on your way over.

84
00:07:13,309 --> 00:07:17,438
I want to give you two
a little something from mother and me...

85
00:07:17,689 --> 00:07:19,148
...a little extra happiness.

86
00:07:22,151 --> 00:07:24,904
I guess it's not
carpeting for the living room.

87
00:07:27,574 --> 00:07:31,411
That's for the future, not
Lord and Taylor, you little jerk!

88
00:07:34,998 --> 00:07:37,167
Teddy, you're amazing!

89
00:07:37,417 --> 00:07:40,628
It's my pleasure.
Just use it in good health.

90
00:07:40,879 --> 00:07:42,297
Thanks, Mom.

91
00:07:42,672 --> 00:07:44,716
I'll show my mother,
she'll go crazy!

92
00:07:45,425 --> 00:07:47,218
I can't believe it!

93
00:07:49,554 --> 00:07:51,222
Jude, get me a cigarette.

94
00:07:56,978 --> 00:07:58,229
Coming back inside, Daddy?

95
00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:01,608
I just want to see the recap
of tonight's game.

96
00:08:02,483 --> 00:08:04,235
Should I wait for you here?

97
00:08:08,990 --> 00:08:10,241
Dad?

98
00:08:11,618 --> 00:08:13,494
Get me a match, doll.

99
00:08:26,966 --> 00:08:30,637
Jerry, if you call her you'll
screw it up. That's my job, all right?

100
00:08:30,887 --> 00:08:31,763
No, to call her.

101
00:08:32,013 --> 00:08:36,142
How long you married? Anything more
than 15 years, you lose the house.

102
00:08:36,434 --> 00:08:39,270
It's not my rule,
that's just the way it is.

103
00:08:39,771 --> 00:08:41,523
Keep the boat, it's a male item.

104
00:08:42,982 --> 00:08:46,736
Prenups is the only way
to get around this and it's too late.

105
00:08:47,612 --> 00:08:49,948
Give her the microwave,
it's a built-in!

106
00:08:50,448 --> 00:08:53,243
It comes with the house.
What'll you do with one oven?

107
00:08:54,536 --> 00:08:56,663
It's late now.
6:30 a.m. Monday...

108
00:08:56,913 --> 00:09:00,708
...we'll play racquetball. We'll
figure it out then. Can you wait?

109
00:09:00,959 --> 00:09:03,294
We'll be in Jamaica
6:30 Monday.

110
00:09:03,545 --> 00:09:05,213
I'll be on my honeymoon Monday.

111
00:09:05,463 --> 00:09:07,173
I'll call you from Jamaica.

112
00:09:07,423 --> 00:09:09,175
I don't know, from the hotel.

113
00:09:10,176 --> 00:09:13,012
No, you'll be halved at worst.
You're okay.

114
00:09:13,555 --> 00:09:15,014
Prenups, babe!

115
00:09:18,393 --> 00:09:20,979
- That'll never happen to us.
- I know.

116
00:09:21,354 --> 00:09:25,233
- Did this bathroom turn out gorgeous?
- This ass is gorgeous.

117
00:09:25,483 --> 00:09:26,985
Come here.

118
00:09:29,195 --> 00:09:31,406
- What?
- Wait, honey.

119
00:09:31,990 --> 00:09:33,575
Wait just one second.

120
00:09:33,825 --> 00:09:36,244
- Lift your back leg.
- I don't have a back leg.

121
00:09:36,494 --> 00:09:41,166
It's our wedding night. It's not
real romantic making love in the sink.

122
00:09:41,416 --> 00:09:44,794
- It's romantic making love anywhere.
- I know. I love you.

123
00:09:45,044 --> 00:09:49,382
- Let's go into the bedroom.
- We're going into the bedroom next.

124
00:09:50,300 --> 00:09:52,510
Just here. Good, sweetie!

125
00:09:53,178 --> 00:09:54,387
Honey, good!

126
00:09:56,723 --> 00:09:58,892
You're on my hair,
get off my hair.

127
00:10:00,226 --> 00:10:01,227
How's that?

128
00:10:11,654 --> 00:10:13,907
- Oh, honey!
- What?

129
00:10:17,076 --> 00:10:19,078
- Oh, sweetie!
- What?

130
00:10:20,205 --> 00:10:21,331
I'm coming!

131
00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:36,012
Why don't we go and get in bed?

132
00:10:52,612 --> 00:10:57,033
Oh, God, full of compassion,
thou who dwellest on high.

133
00:10:57,534 --> 00:11:01,329
Grant perfect rest unto
the soul of Yale Goodman...

134
00:11:01,579 --> 00:11:03,873
...who has departed from this world.

135
00:11:04,332 --> 00:11:07,168
Lord of mercy, bring him
into Thy presence...

136
00:11:07,418 --> 00:11:12,382
...and let his soul be bound up
in the bond of eternal life.

137
00:11:13,591 --> 00:11:14,884
Amen.

138
00:11:16,135 --> 00:11:17,804
I can't try to console you...

139
00:11:18,054 --> 00:11:20,682
...by saying there is
any justice in this world.

140
00:11:20,932 --> 00:11:23,309
Just be thankful for the friendship...

141
00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:27,689
...and tenderness you and Yale
had the opportunity to share.

142
00:11:29,190 --> 00:11:34,237
My philosophy of life has gotten me
through some very rough times.

143
00:11:34,737 --> 00:11:36,614
Let me share it with you.

144
00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:41,160
Que ser� ser�.

145
00:11:41,995 --> 00:11:44,289
I got it from the song.

146
00:11:55,925 --> 00:11:57,177
Judith?

147
00:11:59,220 --> 00:12:00,889
Just one thing.

148
00:12:01,347 --> 00:12:03,308
If you can remember...

149
00:12:03,725 --> 00:12:07,478
...what were Yale's last words?

150
00:12:10,231 --> 00:12:12,108
"I'm coming."

151
00:12:14,444 --> 00:12:16,404
I know you don't want to hear this...

152
00:12:17,572 --> 00:12:20,825
...but you got to get
right back into circulation.

153
00:12:21,159 --> 00:12:24,871
When you fall off the horse,
you got to climb right back on.

154
00:12:25,121 --> 00:12:27,499
Aunt Kissy, please!

155
00:12:28,791 --> 00:12:31,419
Could I be alone now?

156
00:12:32,045 --> 00:12:33,588
I'm sorry.

157
00:12:40,345 --> 00:12:41,429
She wants to be alone.

158
00:12:41,679 --> 00:12:43,765
She wants to be alone.

159
00:12:44,432 --> 00:12:47,685
She doesn't want to live in their place.
I can't blame her.

160
00:12:47,936 --> 00:12:52,398
- Sell everything and buy her new.
- Buy her new? She'll live with us.

161
00:12:52,690 --> 00:12:56,194
- What if she doesn't want to?
- She doesn't know what she wants.

162
00:12:56,444 --> 00:12:59,822
And what's she going to do now?
Be my secretary again?

163
00:13:00,114 --> 00:13:04,744
The girl's 29 years old
and trained to do nothing.

164
00:13:05,161 --> 00:13:06,913
I'm 28.

165
00:13:19,467 --> 00:13:21,553
Look what we got!

166
00:13:55,336 --> 00:13:57,672
I've never not belonged to somebody.

167
00:13:57,922 --> 00:13:59,007
Never.

168
00:13:59,257 --> 00:14:02,302
My first boyfriend was
in nursery school. I was two...

169
00:14:02,552 --> 00:14:04,429
...and he was three and since then...

170
00:14:04,679 --> 00:14:08,933
...I've been pinned,
lavaliered, engaged...

171
00:14:09,309 --> 00:14:11,394
...married twice.

172
00:14:12,729 --> 00:14:15,064
The first time, I was twenty.

173
00:14:16,441 --> 00:14:19,277
See, I've been in this room
eight days...

174
00:14:19,527 --> 00:14:24,282
...and it's really the first eight days
I've ever been alone in my life.

175
00:14:25,283 --> 00:14:26,826
If I'm not going to be married...

176
00:14:27,076 --> 00:14:30,622
...I don't know what I'm
supposed to do with myself.

177
00:14:32,207 --> 00:14:35,126
Did you happen to see
that movie Unmarried Woman?

178
00:14:36,544 --> 00:14:38,505
Well, I didn't get it.

179
00:14:38,838 --> 00:14:41,424
I would've been
Mrs. Alan Bates so fast...

180
00:14:41,674 --> 00:14:44,093
...that guy wouldn't have
known what hit him.

181
00:14:44,719 --> 00:14:46,888
The thing is, and then I'll shut up...

182
00:14:49,641 --> 00:14:52,435
...I haven't done anything wrong.

183
00:14:52,685 --> 00:14:55,813
And I feel like I'm being punished!

184
00:14:58,233 --> 00:15:01,110
I thought I'd be
filling up my freezer...

185
00:15:01,361 --> 00:15:06,074
...and be getting this new
pine sideboard that I ordered and...

186
00:15:14,290 --> 00:15:16,209
Jessica, I do hate...

187
00:15:16,459 --> 00:15:19,546
...to stop your free association,
but our switchboard's flooded.

188
00:15:20,213 --> 00:15:23,758
So set your phone down
and turn your radio up, okay?

189
00:15:24,008 --> 00:15:25,677
Hello, Night Owl,
you're on the air.

190
00:15:26,636 --> 00:15:29,889
You lucked out. I read in
the Enquirer this morning...

191
00:15:30,139 --> 00:15:31,724
...that marriage causes cancer.

192
00:15:31,975 --> 00:15:34,269
Philadelphia Night Owl,
you're on the air.

193
00:15:34,519 --> 00:15:37,814
About that Palestinian homeland.
In your Bible you'll see...

194
00:15:38,064 --> 00:15:40,859
...that the Arabs had first dibs
on the West Bank.

195
00:15:41,109 --> 00:15:42,277
Not tonight, Del, thanks.

196
00:15:42,527 --> 00:15:44,696
Line 4, have you
got advice for Jessica?

197
00:15:44,946 --> 00:15:47,031
Yes, I do. Hi, Jessica.

198
00:15:47,323 --> 00:15:48,324
My name is Jim.

199
00:15:48,575 --> 00:15:50,785
First let me say
how terribly sorry I am...

200
00:15:51,077 --> 00:15:53,121
...about your misfortune.

201
00:15:53,371 --> 00:15:57,250
And nobody knows better than you
that things can't get much worse.

202
00:15:57,917 --> 00:16:01,504
It's also pretty obvious that
you need guidance, security...

203
00:16:01,754 --> 00:16:05,717
...good friends and a healthy dose
of self-confidence, Jessica.

204
00:16:07,135 --> 00:16:11,097
What I'm saying is,
I think I can help you find a new life.

205
00:16:34,871 --> 00:16:36,748
- Are you Jessica?
- Jim?

206
00:16:36,998 --> 00:16:38,249
Yeah, hi.

207
00:16:39,083 --> 00:16:40,668
Am I late or you early?

208
00:16:40,919 --> 00:16:42,921
I'm just a few hours early.

209
00:16:43,171 --> 00:16:44,422
Come on.

210
00:16:49,427 --> 00:16:51,804
I should tell you,
my name is really Judy.

211
00:16:52,055 --> 00:16:55,517
I just didn't want anybody I knew
to hear me on the radio.

212
00:16:55,767 --> 00:16:58,186
- Macht nichts.
- What?

213
00:16:58,603 --> 00:17:01,272
It means,
"It makes no difference" in German.

214
00:17:01,564 --> 00:17:03,900
I was stationed over there
for 26 months.

215
00:17:04,150 --> 00:17:06,694
UNITED STATES ARMY
RECRUITING STATION

216
00:17:07,570 --> 00:17:09,280
What does that look like to you?

217
00:17:09,697 --> 00:17:11,199
What? Club Med?

218
00:17:12,116 --> 00:17:15,036
It's the Fort Ord Army
Base in Monterey, California.

219
00:17:15,787 --> 00:17:17,622
Those look like condos.

220
00:17:18,665 --> 00:17:22,710
And every soldier gets
his or her own private room.

221
00:17:23,253 --> 00:17:24,546
What are these, yachts?

222
00:17:25,672 --> 00:17:28,675
The Army is the best-kept secret
in the world, Judy.

223
00:17:28,925 --> 00:17:31,886
Looks great, but you don't know me.

224
00:17:32,136 --> 00:17:34,097
I'm not the Army type.

225
00:17:34,347 --> 00:17:36,891
Forget that old brown boot
image of the Army.

226
00:17:37,141 --> 00:17:41,521
It's the 80s Army, all the ladies love
it. All 89,000 of them.

227
00:17:41,855 --> 00:17:44,315
Check out this list of jobs.

228
00:17:44,607 --> 00:17:49,028
There's over 300 jobs, and only
a couple of them not offered to ladies.

229
00:17:49,279 --> 00:17:51,489
Trained killers, stuff like that.

230
00:17:52,282 --> 00:17:55,243
- How much do you earn per month now?
- Now?

231
00:17:56,327 --> 00:17:57,203
Nothing.

232
00:17:57,453 --> 00:17:58,746
Nothing?

233
00:18:03,126 --> 00:18:04,460
Thanks.

234
00:18:06,045 --> 00:18:07,547
What are you thinking?

235
00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:12,677
I'm thinking about...

236
00:18:14,387 --> 00:18:16,389
...my family...

237
00:18:16,890 --> 00:18:18,808
...and my house...

238
00:18:20,518 --> 00:18:23,188
...and all the gifts I have to return.

239
00:18:26,441 --> 00:18:31,154
You shouldn't be saddled with a lot of
responsibilities and decisions now.

240
00:18:31,487 --> 00:18:36,534
I'm prepared to offer you $458 a month,
train you in the job of your choice...

241
00:18:36,993 --> 00:18:39,829
...pay for your food, your housing,
all your medical...

242
00:18:40,079 --> 00:18:43,791
...and give you a 30-day paid vacation.
I'll tell you something...

243
00:18:44,042 --> 00:18:46,002
...with your education and background...

244
00:18:46,252 --> 00:18:48,880
...you could easily land an assignment
in Europe.

245
00:18:49,130 --> 00:18:50,465
Europe?

246
00:18:51,132 --> 00:18:53,718
I do need to get away.

247
00:18:53,968 --> 00:18:57,597
I promise, you'll be in the best
physical shape you've ever been in.

248
00:18:58,681 --> 00:19:01,309
It will be like 3 years at La Costa.

249
00:19:02,268 --> 00:19:04,229
La Costa. That's good!

250
00:19:07,941 --> 00:19:10,276
What if I hate it once I get there?

251
00:19:10,527 --> 00:19:11,569
Quit.

252
00:19:11,778 --> 00:19:13,947
It's a job, like anything else.

253
00:19:22,455 --> 00:19:23,414
I...

254
00:19:23,790 --> 00:19:24,999
State your full name.

255
00:19:26,501 --> 00:19:28,586
Do solemnly swear or affirm...

256
00:19:30,213 --> 00:19:32,090
...I will support and defend...

257
00:19:33,633 --> 00:19:35,927
...the Constitution
of the United States...

258
00:19:38,179 --> 00:19:40,807
...from all enemies,
foreign and domestic.

259
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:45,144
That I will bear true faith
and allegiance...

260
00:19:46,771 --> 00:19:47,647
...to the same...

261
00:19:49,023 --> 00:19:50,900
...and will obey the orders...

262
00:19:52,485 --> 00:19:54,779
...of the President
of the United States...

263
00:19:56,364 --> 00:19:59,033
...and the orders of
the officers over me...

264
00:20:01,369 --> 00:20:03,163
...according to regulations.

265
00:20:11,171 --> 00:20:12,463
All right.

266
00:20:12,964 --> 00:20:16,426
My name is Sergeant L.C. Ross.

267
00:20:16,676 --> 00:20:20,763
And I'll be your drill sergeant
for your 6 weeks basic training.

268
00:20:21,139 --> 00:20:24,100
My job is to turn you
lovely ladies and gentlemen...

269
00:20:24,350 --> 00:20:26,436
...into United States soldiers.

270
00:20:27,020 --> 00:20:30,523
The first thing we'll do is put you
through your in-processing.

271
00:20:30,773 --> 00:20:35,570
While you are waiting in line for your
processing, you will not, I repeat...

272
00:20:35,820 --> 00:20:39,324
...you will not be flapping your lips.

273
00:20:39,782 --> 00:20:42,327
You'll be filling out these forms.

274
00:20:43,578 --> 00:20:47,457
I'm going to call out your names
and I want you to line up behind me.

275
00:20:51,127 --> 00:20:52,086
Abbott.

276
00:20:52,337 --> 00:20:53,463
Barnett.

277
00:20:54,964 --> 00:20:56,216
Benjamin.

278
00:20:57,550 --> 00:20:58,593
Benjamin!

279
00:20:58,843 --> 00:21:00,094
- Sir.
- Fall in, Benjamin.

280
00:21:00,345 --> 00:21:01,513
I'm Private Winter...

281
00:21:01,763 --> 00:21:05,642
...but I think I can be of assistance
in locating Private Benjamin.

282
00:21:06,351 --> 00:21:07,519
Sir.

283
00:21:19,322 --> 00:21:21,491
- Are we at the fort?
- Yes we are.

284
00:21:21,825 --> 00:21:23,868
Time to wake up now.

285
00:21:25,245 --> 00:21:26,204
In a sec.

286
00:21:26,538 --> 00:21:28,331
Get your ass up
and out on the company street!

287
00:21:33,211 --> 00:21:34,462
I never!

288
00:21:34,712 --> 00:21:36,923
Give me 10 pushups!
Knock them out!

289
00:21:37,173 --> 00:21:39,300
You mind if I check into
my room first?

290
00:21:39,592 --> 00:21:41,761
Assume the position and hit it!

291
00:21:42,011 --> 00:21:43,179
Now!

292
00:21:53,898 --> 00:21:55,316
Up! Down!

293
00:22:00,029 --> 00:22:01,656
What is this, hell week?

294
00:22:01,906 --> 00:22:02,949
No, Benjamin...

295
00:22:03,199 --> 00:22:05,118
...this is the Army!

296
00:22:14,002 --> 00:22:17,255
Excuse me, sir, is green
the only color these come in?

297
00:22:18,882 --> 00:22:22,093
Close it up back there,
you meatheads. Go!

298
00:22:22,468 --> 00:22:24,804
Pick it up! Pick it up!
Close it up!

299
00:22:25,054 --> 00:22:28,224
Close up that field back there!
Come on, move it!

300
00:22:29,809 --> 00:22:31,978
Where are the yachts?

301
00:22:39,736 --> 00:22:42,947
- Excuse me, are you a reporter?
- Who, me?

302
00:22:43,615 --> 00:22:44,574
No.

303
00:22:45,283 --> 00:22:48,870
I joined up, but I'm not staying.
There's been a mistake.

304
00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:51,206
I'll straighten it out
when the manager gets here.

305
00:22:51,456 --> 00:22:54,542
Man on the floor! In front
of your cots at attention!

306
00:22:59,464 --> 00:23:01,799
Barracks ready for inspection, Captain.

307
00:23:12,769 --> 00:23:16,397
What's the matter, honey?
Are you a crybaby?

308
00:23:16,648 --> 00:23:17,524
No, sir.

309
00:23:17,774 --> 00:23:18,816
Ma'am!

310
00:23:22,904 --> 00:23:25,782
I know how all you ladies
drool over this...

311
00:23:26,032 --> 00:23:28,618
...this Fonzie character...

312
00:23:28,952 --> 00:23:30,286
...but not in my outfit.

313
00:23:30,537 --> 00:23:31,454
Burn it.

314
00:23:43,883 --> 00:23:46,302
- Your name, soldier?
- Private Winter, ma'am.

315
00:23:58,565 --> 00:24:01,526
Outstanding, Winter. Outstanding.

316
00:24:02,193 --> 00:24:03,361
Ladies!

317
00:24:03,611 --> 00:24:05,488
Examine Private Winter's locker.

318
00:24:05,738 --> 00:24:06,906
Learn from it.

319
00:24:08,908 --> 00:24:12,412
You keep this up and we'll talk
officer's candidate school.

320
00:24:12,704 --> 00:24:14,789
Thank you, ma'am!

321
00:24:26,092 --> 00:24:28,928
This brassiere isn't regulation, Ross.

322
00:24:29,179 --> 00:24:31,055
And neither is this face.

323
00:24:31,306 --> 00:24:34,434
And you look like a clown, soldier.
Clean up your act.

324
00:24:38,563 --> 00:24:41,107
Gianelli's a 308, ma'am.

325
00:24:44,986 --> 00:24:47,614
So it was the Army or jail?

326
00:24:48,948 --> 00:24:52,035
After 6 weeks with me,
you're going to wish you chose Attica.

327
00:24:52,285 --> 00:24:54,370
Don't push me, punk.

328
00:24:54,913 --> 00:24:59,584
This is the most pathetic group
of trainees I have ever laid my eyes on.

329
00:25:01,503 --> 00:25:03,505
My companies are the best-trained...

330
00:25:03,755 --> 00:25:06,716
...the best-disciplined
soldiers on this base.

331
00:25:10,345 --> 00:25:14,057
I hate to interrupt you,
but could I speak to you for a sec?

332
00:25:14,307 --> 00:25:17,852
My Lord! Sergeant,
would you look at this!

333
00:25:18,102 --> 00:25:19,938
I've seen it, ma'am.

334
00:25:21,231 --> 00:25:23,441
What's your name, Princess?

335
00:25:23,691 --> 00:25:24,776
Judy.

336
00:25:25,735 --> 00:25:28,363
Judy Benjamin.

337
00:25:30,698 --> 00:25:33,952
I think they sent me to the wrong...

338
00:25:34,577 --> 00:25:36,079
...place.

339
00:25:36,955 --> 00:25:41,584
You see, I did join the Army,
but I joined a different Army.

340
00:25:41,835 --> 00:25:46,422
I joined the one with the condos
and the private rooms.

341
00:25:49,509 --> 00:25:52,887
No, really! My recruiter,
Jim Ballard, told me that...

342
00:25:53,137 --> 00:25:57,100
I don't care what your lousy recruiter
told you, Benjamin.

343
00:25:57,350 --> 00:25:59,519
I'm telling you, there is no other Army.

344
00:26:00,270 --> 00:26:01,604
Wait a minute.

345
00:26:01,855 --> 00:26:04,357
I don't want to have to
go to your boss, okay?

346
00:26:06,943 --> 00:26:11,698
To be truthful with you, I can't
sleep in a room with 20 strangers.

347
00:26:12,031 --> 00:26:13,032
Oh, dear!

348
00:26:13,283 --> 00:26:16,077
Look at this place.
The Army couldn't afford drapes?

349
00:26:16,327 --> 00:26:19,038
I'll be up at the crack of dawn here.

350
00:26:20,498 --> 00:26:24,085
And I have to tell you,
I am frankly a little shocked.

351
00:26:24,919 --> 00:26:26,337
You're shocked?

352
00:26:26,671 --> 00:26:27,630
Why?

353
00:26:27,881 --> 00:26:30,925
This place is a sty.

354
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:36,890
Look at these stains.
God knows where this has been.

355
00:26:38,516 --> 00:26:40,602
And have you seen the bathroom?

356
00:26:45,982 --> 00:26:49,527
Do you think that
the latrine is unsanitary?

357
00:26:50,445 --> 00:26:51,738
It's disgusting!

358
00:26:53,031 --> 00:26:55,450
There are urinals in there.

359
00:26:56,784 --> 00:26:59,245
That's because this is the Army...

360
00:27:00,538 --> 00:27:02,457
...it's not a sorority house.

361
00:27:05,752 --> 00:27:09,172
May I see your toothbrush?
Please?

362
00:27:29,192 --> 00:27:32,445
Yale, how could you do this to me?

363
00:27:53,341 --> 00:27:55,134
You could eat off that floor.

364
00:27:55,385 --> 00:27:57,136
Why don't you.

365
00:28:10,108 --> 00:28:11,860
Reveille! Let's go!

366
00:28:12,110 --> 00:28:13,778
Everybody up!

367
00:28:14,028 --> 00:28:15,280
Move it!

368
00:28:15,655 --> 00:28:17,824
Everybody up! Everybody move!

369
00:28:18,783 --> 00:28:20,660
Everybody, Benjamin!

370
00:28:20,910 --> 00:28:24,330
You can't mean me.
I worked the night shift.

371
00:28:24,622 --> 00:28:27,041
Go check out the bathroom,
it's fabulous.

372
00:28:42,390 --> 00:28:43,725
Alpha Company...

373
00:28:43,975 --> 00:28:45,685
...attention!

374
00:28:45,977 --> 00:28:48,938
Bravo Company, attention!

375
00:29:05,079 --> 00:29:06,206
At ease, gentlemen...

376
00:29:06,623 --> 00:29:07,624
...and ladies.

377
00:29:10,460 --> 00:29:12,212
I'm your post commander.

378
00:29:13,004 --> 00:29:14,589
Colonel Clay Thornbush.

379
00:29:14,881 --> 00:29:15,924
Welcome...

380
00:29:16,216 --> 00:29:19,385
...to the Biloxi, Mississippi
Basic Training Center.

381
00:29:19,636 --> 00:29:21,513
The backbone of the U.S. Army.

382
00:29:21,763 --> 00:29:24,891
You have two company commanders
to lead you through basic.

383
00:29:25,141 --> 00:29:27,060
Capt. Doreen Lewis,
a 5-year veteran...

384
00:29:27,310 --> 00:29:29,354
...here at Fort Biloxi,
of Alpha Company.

385
00:29:29,604 --> 00:29:31,147
And a newcomer to the family...

386
00:29:31,397 --> 00:29:34,150
...Captain William Wooldridge,
Bravo Company.

387
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:37,237
Here, we turn out
the best-fed, best-trained...

388
00:29:37,487 --> 00:29:39,823
...soldiers, but it doesn't come easy.

389
00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:43,493
It does not happen overnight.
You must have the strength...

390
00:29:44,744 --> 00:29:47,705
...the self-discipline,
and mental stamina necessary...

391
00:29:47,956 --> 00:29:50,875
...to meet the standards
of the United States Army.

392
00:29:51,125 --> 00:29:53,211
The next 6 weeks will be the test.

393
00:29:54,045 --> 00:29:55,421
It'll be hell...

394
00:29:57,340 --> 00:29:59,217
...but you'll be glad you did it.

395
00:30:02,053 --> 00:30:03,680
Move it!

396
00:30:05,807 --> 00:30:07,058
Left, right! Left!

397
00:30:16,526 --> 00:30:20,029
I thought it would be
a few leg lifts, a little stretching...

398
00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:22,657
...maybe a disco class, you know.

399
00:30:22,907 --> 00:30:25,618
You're not real talkative,
are you, Soyer?

400
00:30:26,452 --> 00:30:27,620
We run them out...

401
00:30:27,912 --> 00:30:29,539
...and we march them back.

402
00:30:30,498 --> 00:30:34,961
Then about twice a week,
I spring a surprise inspection on them.

403
00:30:35,211 --> 00:30:36,880
That's good Army.

404
00:30:38,173 --> 00:30:39,966
Keeps them on their toes.

405
00:30:41,801 --> 00:30:44,304
- Got one more question.
- Shoot.

406
00:30:45,930 --> 00:30:46,890
Are you busy Friday?

407
00:32:18,356 --> 00:32:20,024
Look out, Gianelli!

408
00:32:29,075 --> 00:32:31,035
I can't take anymore.
They've broken me.

409
00:32:31,286 --> 00:32:33,872
- I'm quitting.
- Girl, you can't quit this Army.

410
00:32:34,122 --> 00:32:37,375
I can. The recruiter told me
quit anytime I want.

411
00:32:37,625 --> 00:32:40,336
Jesus, you still believe
your recruiter?

412
00:32:40,587 --> 00:32:42,463
It's only for 3 years.

413
00:32:42,714 --> 00:32:44,924
Company halt!

414
00:32:50,847 --> 00:32:51,890
Move it, Benjamin!

415
00:32:52,140 --> 00:32:56,186
I don't want to see you stop running
unless you collapse, faint or puke!

416
00:33:08,490 --> 00:33:11,910
I have never looked
worse in my life!

417
00:33:13,286 --> 00:33:15,955
Has anybody ever died from basic?

418
00:33:50,657 --> 00:33:52,116
Excuse me.

419
00:34:00,416 --> 00:34:02,627
I think you took my blanket.

420
00:34:03,127 --> 00:34:06,631
This is my blanket.
You gave it to me.

421
00:34:08,675 --> 00:34:11,803
- I don't think I did.
- Maybe you just forgot.

422
00:34:12,053 --> 00:34:13,847
Maybe you got brain damage.

423
00:34:16,891 --> 00:34:18,643
Okay, I gave it to you.

424
00:34:18,893 --> 00:34:20,395
By mistake.

425
00:34:21,187 --> 00:34:23,481
- I want it back, okay?
- Take it.

426
00:35:15,867 --> 00:35:17,452
Where are you going?

427
00:35:19,162 --> 00:35:20,497
Home.

428
00:35:28,338 --> 00:35:30,924
We're going to have to
do this again real soon.

429
00:35:32,133 --> 00:35:34,219
How about every Friday night?

430
00:35:36,304 --> 00:35:38,848
I'm going to set you free, Doreen.

431
00:36:02,664 --> 00:36:04,916
Captain Lewis, ma'am,
we've got trouble.

432
00:36:09,003 --> 00:36:10,505
My hair!

433
00:36:19,305 --> 00:36:22,141
Benjamin, you are not fit
to wear that uniform!

434
00:36:22,392 --> 00:36:24,060
No shit!

435
00:36:27,188 --> 00:36:31,359
What do you want from me?
I didn't ask her to punish everybody!

436
00:36:31,609 --> 00:36:34,320
You think I like schlepping
in rain all day and night?

437
00:36:34,571 --> 00:36:36,698
Just keep marching, Benjamin!

438
00:36:36,948 --> 00:36:40,076
My name is Judy! J-U-D-Y...

439
00:36:40,326 --> 00:36:42,954
...and I'd like somebody
to call me by my name.

440
00:36:43,580 --> 00:36:44,956
Hey, Judy!

441
00:36:46,291 --> 00:36:48,918
I took my life in my own hands.
I made a mistake.

442
00:36:49,169 --> 00:36:52,547
I'm sorry. I'll never do it again!
I want to wear my sandals!

443
00:36:54,174 --> 00:36:56,342
I want to go out to lunch.

444
00:36:56,593 --> 00:36:58,469
I want to be normal again.

445
00:36:58,761 --> 00:37:01,639
Would you please
just shut up, Benjamin!

446
00:37:01,890 --> 00:37:05,351
God! Never in all my born days
met such a whiny...

447
00:37:05,685 --> 00:37:07,562
...candy-ass as you!

448
00:37:07,812 --> 00:37:11,107
I don't want to be in the Army!

449
00:37:16,446 --> 00:37:18,031
But we do, okay?

450
00:37:18,281 --> 00:37:20,700
We can't afford any more trouble
on account of you.

451
00:37:22,410 --> 00:37:24,871
I thought you and I
could be friends, but you're...

452
00:37:25,121 --> 00:37:27,916
- Forget it!
- What? I'm what?

453
00:37:28,708 --> 00:37:31,961
You're the most
insensitive person I've ever met.

454
00:37:32,295 --> 00:37:34,297
That is so untrue!

455
00:37:34,547 --> 00:37:38,635
I never go to someone's
home empty-handed!

456
00:37:39,093 --> 00:37:40,845
People love me!

457
00:37:41,095 --> 00:37:42,096
Platoon, halt!

458
00:37:43,306 --> 00:37:44,724
Fall out!

459
00:37:52,607 --> 00:37:53,816
To the day room...

460
00:37:54,067 --> 00:37:55,235
...on the double!

461
00:38:14,045 --> 00:38:15,880
They didn't tell me it was you.

462
00:38:25,974 --> 00:38:27,183
Hi, Mom.

463
00:38:35,775 --> 00:38:37,360
Hi, Daddy.

464
00:38:44,409 --> 00:38:45,952
Sit down, Judy.

465
00:38:47,704 --> 00:38:49,038
I was...

466
00:38:49,289 --> 00:38:52,625
...going to call, but I wasn't
feeling very good.

467
00:38:56,045 --> 00:38:57,630
Eight days.

468
00:38:58,631 --> 00:39:00,717
Our daughter disappears...

469
00:39:00,967 --> 00:39:03,720
...for eight days without a single word.

470
00:39:05,555 --> 00:39:09,809
We thought you were kidnapped.
The FBI was looking for you...

471
00:39:10,059 --> 00:39:12,103
...when some stranger calls...

472
00:39:12,353 --> 00:39:16,357
...telling us how fine you are
and that you'd enlisted in the Army.

473
00:39:17,692 --> 00:39:19,652
We tried to figure out why.

474
00:39:20,778 --> 00:39:23,823
Personally, I think you've gone
temporarily insane.

475
00:39:24,407 --> 00:39:26,659
That's what we told everyone.

476
00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:29,704
We said that you had a collapse...

477
00:39:29,954 --> 00:39:31,998
...and that you were in a mental home.

478
00:39:33,333 --> 00:39:34,959
People think I'm in a mental home?

479
00:39:36,085 --> 00:39:37,128
What should we say?

480
00:39:37,378 --> 00:39:41,216
That you're in an Army barracks
in Mississippi with a bunch of...

481
00:39:41,466 --> 00:39:43,843
- What?
- I don't know what!

482
00:39:45,553 --> 00:39:47,388
That's why I don't like it.

483
00:39:49,390 --> 00:39:52,852
How could you do this to your parents?

484
00:39:53,394 --> 00:39:57,941
Haven't we done enough for you?
Given you everything you wanted?

485
00:39:58,191 --> 00:40:02,695
Did I get you a car on your sixteenth
birthday? Did I get you into college?

486
00:40:02,946 --> 00:40:06,449
Did I bail you out of your first
marriage to that schmuck? Did I?

487
00:40:06,699 --> 00:40:07,575
Relax.

488
00:40:07,826 --> 00:40:09,619
I am relaxed!

489
00:40:14,290 --> 00:40:17,043
Why are you punishing us?

490
00:40:21,965 --> 00:40:23,842
Maybe you hate us.

491
00:40:26,553 --> 00:40:28,429
I don't hate you,
I love you.

492
00:40:30,723 --> 00:40:33,434
You know your Aunt Kissy
is living with us now.

493
00:40:34,727 --> 00:40:35,603
Why?

494
00:40:35,937 --> 00:40:38,648
Because you mother's had a
nervous breakdown, that's why!

495
00:40:43,653 --> 00:40:48,032
You were never a smart girl.
We're all going to stop pretending now.

496
00:40:50,577 --> 00:40:54,873
You are obviously incapable
of making your own decisions.

497
00:40:55,498 --> 00:40:59,252
Starting tomorrow,
I do not let you out of my sight.

498
00:40:59,502 --> 00:41:00,962
I don't care how much you cry.

499
00:41:01,546 --> 00:41:03,464
The Benjamins!

500
00:41:04,465 --> 00:41:06,050
Captain Lewis.

501
00:41:10,722 --> 00:41:12,807
It is so good to meet you in person.

502
00:41:13,516 --> 00:41:14,434
Thank you.

503
00:41:16,060 --> 00:41:18,396
Captain Lewis said we could
take you home, darling.

504
00:41:19,022 --> 00:41:23,276
I'm sorry that things just
didn't work out here for Judy.

505
00:41:24,277 --> 00:41:26,404
She's a hard worker.

506
00:41:26,654 --> 00:41:28,907
She's very... popular...

507
00:41:29,157 --> 00:41:31,451
...with all the other girls.

508
00:41:32,118 --> 00:41:34,621
We are sad to see her go.

509
00:41:37,248 --> 00:41:41,252
If you sign here on the dotted line,
you're as good as home, young lady.

510
00:41:42,378 --> 00:41:43,671
Right there.

511
00:41:47,008 --> 00:41:48,510
Here, darling. Here you are.

512
00:41:50,053 --> 00:41:52,514
Come on, take it.

513
00:41:55,350 --> 00:41:56,893
No, thanks.

514
00:41:58,269 --> 00:42:00,021
Think I'll stay.

515
00:42:13,159 --> 00:42:14,035
Mom.

516
00:42:14,702 --> 00:42:15,578
Daddy.

517
00:43:13,303 --> 00:43:14,679
All right, knock it off!

518
00:43:14,929 --> 00:43:16,431
Break it! Let's go!

519
00:43:46,586 --> 00:43:50,924
Welcome to the Biloxi War Games,
the Super Bowl of Basic Training.

520
00:43:51,216 --> 00:43:54,135
Simulated combat will test
your skills and courage.

521
00:43:54,385 --> 00:43:57,805
Captain Wooldridge will lead
the red team. Captain Lewis...

522
00:43:58,056 --> 00:44:01,935
...the blue team. I will be observing
the exercises from the air.

523
00:44:02,810 --> 00:44:04,896
Good luck.
And fight proud!

524
00:44:07,023 --> 00:44:08,274
Fight proud!

525
00:44:18,701 --> 00:44:20,161
Thompson, Hike...

526
00:44:20,411 --> 00:44:22,455
...Katz, Byron...

527
00:44:22,705 --> 00:44:23,748
...Richter!

528
00:44:24,499 --> 00:44:28,628
Your objective is to capture and blow
up Red Team's communication center.

529
00:44:28,878 --> 00:44:30,839
Beware, mine-fields are out there.

530
00:44:31,089 --> 00:44:32,841
Most of them are inert...

531
00:44:33,091 --> 00:44:34,342
...but some are ert.

532
00:44:34,884 --> 00:44:36,219
Take off!

533
00:44:36,469 --> 00:44:37,595
Private Winter!

534
00:44:40,306 --> 00:44:42,684
You'll serve as Captain Lewis'
aide-de-camp.

535
00:44:43,893 --> 00:44:45,728
Sir. Yes, sir!

536
00:44:46,813 --> 00:44:47,689
Team "C"!

537
00:44:48,231 --> 00:44:50,191
Gianelli, Glass...

538
00:44:50,441 --> 00:44:52,443
...Moe, Benjamin...

539
00:44:52,694 --> 00:44:53,862
...Soyer!

540
00:44:54,904 --> 00:44:57,866
Your objective is to
guard this area here.

541
00:44:58,116 --> 00:45:00,577
Excuse me, Drill Sergeant,
what is that area?

542
00:45:01,703 --> 00:45:03,121
That's the swamp.

543
00:45:03,746 --> 00:45:04,706
Swamp?

544
00:45:07,375 --> 00:45:08,793
Take off!

545
00:45:25,351 --> 00:45:28,521
If you can't read that map,
why don't you just say it?

546
00:45:28,771 --> 00:45:30,982
You're supposed
to be the point man!

547
00:45:31,232 --> 00:45:33,234
Benj pointed me in the wrong direction!

548
00:45:33,526 --> 00:45:36,988
- What am I, Magellan?
- What are we going to guard, algae?

549
00:45:38,865 --> 00:45:40,783
Let's just go straight north.

550
00:45:41,034 --> 00:45:43,161
- We came from the north!
- Let's go south.

551
00:45:43,411 --> 00:45:44,829
Wait! Relax.

552
00:45:45,079 --> 00:45:47,040
If we can't get back by tomorrow...

553
00:45:47,415 --> 00:45:48,917
...they'll send a search plane.

554
00:45:49,167 --> 00:45:51,419
We have enough bodies
to spell "help"?

555
00:45:51,920 --> 00:45:52,879
Let's go.

556
00:45:59,802 --> 00:46:02,764
The first time I ever did it...

557
00:46:10,438 --> 00:46:14,108
...was on an overnight hike
with my Bible class.

558
00:46:16,528 --> 00:46:20,782
We're talking Laemil Lefebvre,
my preacher's son.

559
00:46:26,579 --> 00:46:31,042
I'd never done nothing
in my life before. Nothing!

560
00:46:31,292 --> 00:46:33,878
And he just climbed right smack-dab...

561
00:46:34,128 --> 00:46:36,923
...in the middle of my sleeping bag,
and I was scared.

562
00:46:38,925 --> 00:46:42,136
Not to mention the fact
that his daddy, the preacher...

563
00:46:42,387 --> 00:46:45,056
...was right over there,
just about ten feet away.

564
00:46:45,306 --> 00:46:46,182
How was it?

565
00:46:47,392 --> 00:46:48,810
Quiet...

566
00:46:49,352 --> 00:46:52,355
...but very nice. Very nice!

567
00:46:55,900 --> 00:46:57,902
I had an orgasm once.

568
00:47:00,864 --> 00:47:02,657
But I was alone.

569
00:47:05,034 --> 00:47:08,037
I guess you must have been alone.

570
00:47:15,420 --> 00:47:16,963
Once...

571
00:47:17,714 --> 00:47:22,260
...when I was with my first husband,
I got to this place...

572
00:47:22,552 --> 00:47:25,513
...that was kind of nice and tingly.

573
00:47:30,894 --> 00:47:33,021
I don't know if it was official.

574
00:47:33,271 --> 00:47:36,107
I mean, I don't know
if this was an official...

575
00:47:36,357 --> 00:47:38,359
...orgasm, you know.

576
00:47:40,945 --> 00:47:45,033
But I counted it as one for five years.

577
00:47:48,203 --> 00:47:50,121
How many times
have you been married?

578
00:47:53,208 --> 00:47:54,584
Twice.

579
00:47:57,253 --> 00:48:00,089
The first time for six weeks...

580
00:48:00,423 --> 00:48:02,175
...and the second time...

581
00:48:02,425 --> 00:48:03,801
...for six hours.

582
00:48:04,052 --> 00:48:04,928
Six hours?

583
00:48:05,678 --> 00:48:07,972
My husband had a heart attack and died.

584
00:48:08,223 --> 00:48:09,182
What?!

585
00:48:11,184 --> 00:48:13,686
My husband had a heart attack...

586
00:48:13,937 --> 00:48:17,106
...and died on our wedding night.

587
00:48:18,775 --> 00:48:20,819
While we were making love.

588
00:48:21,986 --> 00:48:23,530
Holy shit!

589
00:48:23,780 --> 00:48:25,740
Jesus, Benjamin!

590
00:48:26,074 --> 00:48:28,827
I don't get it. What do you do
after a thing like that?

591
00:48:33,206 --> 00:48:34,916
Join the Army.

592
00:48:57,105 --> 00:49:01,067
We're lost. We've passed
that same alligator 7 times.

593
00:49:01,317 --> 00:49:03,111
I bet the war games are over by now.

594
00:49:03,361 --> 00:49:06,531
- Lewis is going to just kill us!
- There's a plane!

595
00:49:06,781 --> 00:49:09,367
I bet that's headed back to base.
Let's follow it.

596
00:49:09,617 --> 00:49:12,162
I hope it's not Delta to Miami.

597
00:49:13,329 --> 00:49:15,957
Look, it's the Red Army headquarters.

598
00:49:18,960 --> 00:49:20,170
Quiet!

599
00:49:26,384 --> 00:49:27,468
Great.

600
00:49:27,844 --> 00:49:31,347
- You owe me $6.95.
- You got it!

601
00:49:43,318 --> 00:49:47,113
Hey, blood, how you doing?
All right, looking good!

602
00:49:47,363 --> 00:49:50,074
- What's happening, girl?
- What can I tell you?

603
00:49:50,825 --> 00:49:53,161
You're my prisoner of war,
that's what's happening!

604
00:49:53,411 --> 00:49:57,248
- I ain't your nothing. Get that...
- I mean what I say!

605
00:50:00,835 --> 00:50:02,003
Drop it!

606
00:50:05,298 --> 00:50:06,216
No, you drop it.

607
00:50:07,842 --> 00:50:09,385
I said, drop it!

608
00:50:11,638 --> 00:50:15,225
- Where's Captain Wooldridge?
- In the tent interrogating a P.O.W.

609
00:50:16,100 --> 00:50:17,519
Get the keys to the truck.

610
00:50:18,061 --> 00:50:19,229
Come on.

611
00:50:22,690 --> 00:50:24,317
- Oh, shit!
- Don't worry.

612
00:50:24,567 --> 00:50:26,736
- I'll hot-wire it.
- You know how?

613
00:50:27,237 --> 00:50:28,822
That's my former career.

614
00:50:29,072 --> 00:50:30,198
Excellent!

615
00:50:47,924 --> 00:50:49,133
What?

616
00:50:51,594 --> 00:50:52,470
Freeze!

617
00:50:53,304 --> 00:50:55,223
Private Winter!

618
00:50:57,350 --> 00:50:58,893
Well, lookee here!

619
00:50:59,143 --> 00:51:02,772
- Look what we got.
- Listen, Captain Lewis...

620
00:51:03,481 --> 00:51:05,859
She sent me out to find you guys and...

621
00:51:07,152 --> 00:51:08,444
...I got captured.

622
00:51:09,737 --> 00:51:12,365
He promised me he'd put in
a good word with Captain Lewis.

623
00:51:12,615 --> 00:51:14,284
And I really don't like him.

624
00:51:15,034 --> 00:51:16,786
Take the prisoners.

625
00:51:18,371 --> 00:51:21,082
Attention all Red Team personnel.

626
00:51:21,332 --> 00:51:24,460
The Blue Team has surrendered.
The Red Team has won.

627
00:51:24,711 --> 00:51:26,254
So follow us.

628
00:51:27,172 --> 00:51:29,382
Attention all Red Team personnel.

629
00:51:29,799 --> 00:51:31,384
The Blue Team has surrendered.

630
00:51:31,634 --> 00:51:34,179
The Red Team has won, so follow us.

631
00:51:39,934 --> 00:51:41,936
Red Team captured!

632
00:51:43,021 --> 00:51:45,106
Ross, take the platoon...

633
00:51:46,274 --> 00:51:47,400
...head due west.

634
00:51:49,068 --> 00:51:52,614
I'll lead the remaining troops
to the east.

635
00:52:00,538 --> 00:52:01,789
What now?

636
00:52:02,207 --> 00:52:03,416
Got any ideas?

637
00:52:10,006 --> 00:52:12,509
Off your asses!
On your feet!

638
00:52:17,013 --> 00:52:19,933
Overwhelming enemy forces approaching.

639
00:52:20,642 --> 00:52:25,355
Blue Team Company Commander
requests permission to surrender, sir.

640
00:52:25,814 --> 00:52:27,857
Do you accept
surrender of Blue Team?

641
00:52:28,107 --> 00:52:31,528
No, sir. We do not, because
we are also the Blue Team, sir.

642
00:52:31,778 --> 00:52:33,321
Identify yourself, soldier!

643
00:52:33,571 --> 00:52:35,990
Sir, Private Benjamin, sir!

644
00:52:49,504 --> 00:52:50,839
At ease!

645
00:52:51,089 --> 00:52:53,007
Which one of you is Private Benjamin?

646
00:52:53,258 --> 00:52:54,425
Sir, I am, sir.

647
00:52:56,302 --> 00:52:58,513
- Outstanding!
- Thank you, sir!

648
00:52:58,763 --> 00:53:01,808
Here's the rest of the squad.
Privates Glass, Gianelli...

649
00:53:02,058 --> 00:53:04,394
...Private Moe and Private Soyer, sir.

650
00:53:05,895 --> 00:53:07,730
Where is the Red Team Commander?

651
00:53:39,053 --> 00:53:41,848
Captain Lewis, you are lucky
to have troopers like this!

652
00:53:42,182 --> 00:53:43,516
Congratulations!

653
00:53:43,975 --> 00:53:47,061
Next time don't be so quick
to raise the white flag.

654
00:53:47,812 --> 00:53:50,231
- Yes, sir.
- The war games are concluded.

655
00:53:50,482 --> 00:53:53,735
Troops are dismissed.
I will see you tomorrow at graduation.

656
00:54:00,450 --> 00:54:02,827
- Yes, sir!
- Can I offer your team a lift?

657
00:54:19,552 --> 00:54:23,932
Meet two of our Thornbirds!
Lieutenant Gomez and Sergeant Gates.

658
00:54:26,726 --> 00:54:29,646
Fabulous uniforms!
What's a Thornbird, sir?

659
00:54:29,896 --> 00:54:34,484
An elite airborne corp. We recruit
them from the best bases in the country.

660
00:54:35,109 --> 00:54:37,862
I'm damn proud of them,
like I'm proud of you girls.

661
00:54:38,112 --> 00:54:40,240
It's a hell of a job you did today!

662
00:54:41,616 --> 00:54:43,076
Where do you hail from?

663
00:54:44,285 --> 00:54:45,995
Philadelphia, sir.

664
00:54:47,372 --> 00:54:51,376
It's the seat of our democracy!
Thornie Two is from Philadelphia.

665
00:54:51,793 --> 00:54:52,836
Thornie Two, sir?

666
00:54:53,253 --> 00:54:54,504
My wife.

667
00:54:55,338 --> 00:54:58,508
After 20 years watching us crazy guys
jump out of airplanes...

668
00:54:58,883 --> 00:55:01,678
...she decided she wanted to try it.
Remember, Ed?

669
00:55:02,804 --> 00:55:04,931
We took her up,
almost had to shove her out!

670
00:55:05,348 --> 00:55:07,517
She had a good time,
but she landed wrong.

671
00:55:07,892 --> 00:55:11,729
Broke her arm in 3 places. Lucky
we didn't have to shoot her, right?

672
00:55:13,148 --> 00:55:14,482
We're approaching, sir.

673
00:55:14,858 --> 00:55:17,318
I'll take her down.
You trust me, don't you?

674
00:55:17,569 --> 00:55:18,653
Oh, yes, sir!

675
00:55:19,028 --> 00:55:21,698
Then let's do it to it!

676
00:55:22,323 --> 00:55:26,494
- Tell your men to hang on, Benjamin!
- Hang on, men.

677
00:56:35,522 --> 00:56:37,607
Whoop-de-do!

678
00:56:40,235 --> 00:56:43,321
Inspection, ladies!

679
00:56:56,793 --> 00:56:58,503
Lady Luck!

680
00:57:03,424 --> 00:57:06,219
Don't you look at me
with those baby blues.

681
00:57:08,096 --> 00:57:10,765
I'm not the great Thornie.

682
00:57:13,560 --> 00:57:18,398
You finally succeeded in making
a fool out of me, didn't you?

683
00:57:20,150 --> 00:57:21,568
Ma'am. Yes, ma'am.

684
00:57:22,026 --> 00:57:25,655
I've got a reward for you,
my little hero.

685
00:57:26,948 --> 00:57:30,618
You're all going to scour
every inch of this rat's nest!

686
00:57:31,452 --> 00:57:33,288
Inside and out.

687
00:57:35,331 --> 00:57:38,501
I mean the bed frames,
the window ledges...

688
00:57:38,751 --> 00:57:40,837
...the linoleum...

689
00:57:42,714 --> 00:57:44,424
...the toilet seats.

690
00:57:46,593 --> 00:57:48,261
You understand me?

691
00:57:48,720 --> 00:57:50,805
Ma'am. Yes, ma'am.

692
00:57:51,556 --> 00:57:52,932
I can't hear you.

693
00:57:55,185 --> 00:57:57,479
I can't hear you!

694
00:58:06,321 --> 00:58:07,530
Thank you.

695
00:58:11,451 --> 00:58:14,370
It breaks my little old heart...

696
00:58:14,621 --> 00:58:16,915
...to have to bust up
our winning team...

697
00:58:17,165 --> 00:58:20,168
...but I have been assigned
to a new post.

698
00:58:20,418 --> 00:58:22,086
A good post!

699
00:58:23,588 --> 00:58:26,341
Let's not keep in touch, shall we!

700
00:59:08,633 --> 00:59:11,177
Busted up, the whole team.

701
00:59:11,427 --> 00:59:12,929
Busted up.

702
00:59:14,264 --> 00:59:17,058
I have been assigned to a new post.

703
00:59:24,065 --> 00:59:25,233
Come on.

704
01:00:04,063 --> 01:00:05,565
Good post!

705
01:00:36,846 --> 01:00:38,306
That was nice.

706
01:00:39,516 --> 01:00:41,726
Keep in touch, shall we?

707
01:02:03,600 --> 01:02:04,726
At ease!

708
01:02:08,897 --> 01:02:10,690
Didn't think you'd make it, did you?

709
01:02:12,984 --> 01:02:15,904
You will no longer
be known as trainees.

710
01:02:18,323 --> 01:02:20,783
You have earned the right
to call yourselves...

711
01:02:21,075 --> 01:02:24,287
...United States soldiers,
and I'm proud of each of you.

712
01:02:26,956 --> 01:02:28,666
On Monday you will receive...

713
01:02:28,917 --> 01:02:31,920
...your advanced individual
training assignments.

714
01:02:32,545 --> 01:02:33,671
Each of you...

715
01:02:40,678 --> 01:02:41,763
...will be given...

716
01:02:42,305 --> 01:02:44,933
...a special responsibility
which will play...

717
01:02:45,183 --> 01:02:48,269
...a key role in the
defense of the free world.

718
01:02:48,603 --> 01:02:50,855
My heartfelt congratulations
and best wishes.

719
01:02:53,316 --> 01:02:54,984
I almost forgot.

720
01:02:57,195 --> 01:02:59,781
Dismissed till 0800 Monday morning.
Have a good one!

721
01:03:28,434 --> 01:03:29,310
Evening, ladies.

722
01:03:29,561 --> 01:03:31,104
We're not interested.

723
01:03:31,354 --> 01:03:33,189
Sorry.

724
01:03:34,691 --> 01:03:36,526
All right, I'm uptight, okay?

725
01:03:36,776 --> 01:03:40,196
Get yourself a drink,
we're going to cruise.

726
01:04:08,933 --> 01:04:12,312
Judy Benjamin, this is Johnny Rourke.

727
01:04:12,562 --> 01:04:14,939
And Kim... I forget your last name.

728
01:04:15,190 --> 01:04:16,316
Osaka.

729
01:04:17,692 --> 01:04:20,445
Come on, sweetheart, let's go.

730
01:04:23,490 --> 01:04:25,742
What's happening, Judy?

731
01:04:28,453 --> 01:04:29,746
Bourbon, no ice.

732
01:04:31,915 --> 01:04:34,167
I'm with Olivetti of Tokyo.

733
01:04:34,417 --> 01:04:36,878
Johnny is my southeastern
U.S. Sales manager.

734
01:04:37,128 --> 01:04:39,923
He always shows me a hip time.

735
01:04:44,093 --> 01:04:45,762
What time is it?

736
01:04:48,181 --> 01:04:50,141
I just took your picture, mama!

737
01:04:52,352 --> 01:04:54,354
Very hip.

738
01:04:54,771 --> 01:04:57,565
Look, I've got to go back to the base.

739
01:04:57,816 --> 01:05:00,276
Where's the fire? Come on.

740
01:05:00,944 --> 01:05:03,738
This could be a big night for you.

741
01:05:05,323 --> 01:05:07,033
Sincerely.

742
01:05:09,285 --> 01:05:10,954
Liz?

743
01:05:11,454 --> 01:05:12,872
- How are you?
- God, I'm fine.

744
01:05:13,122 --> 01:05:15,416
I can't believe this!

745
01:05:16,417 --> 01:05:19,921
Listen, thanks,
but I don't need the loan.

746
01:05:20,171 --> 01:05:21,881
What are you doing in New Orleans?

747
01:05:22,131 --> 01:05:24,759
My dad's here on a medical
conference and we all came.

748
01:05:25,009 --> 01:05:26,636
Come and see them, they'll die!

749
01:05:26,886 --> 01:05:29,389
Wait a minute.
Who is that with your parents?

750
01:05:31,015 --> 01:05:34,936
A French gynecologist. He and Dad
spoke on the Lamaze panel together.

751
01:05:35,395 --> 01:05:37,438
- Isn't he totally gorgeous?
- Totally.

752
01:05:37,689 --> 01:05:39,983
If it weren't for Jeffrey,
I'd go for him myself.

753
01:05:40,233 --> 01:05:42,152
Look who I found!

754
01:05:43,945 --> 01:05:45,947
My God, how are you, darling?

755
01:05:46,197 --> 01:05:50,076
Kid, you look wonderful!
Please give me a hug.

756
01:05:53,997 --> 01:05:55,373
Sit down.

757
01:05:58,251 --> 01:06:00,628
- Henri Tremont.
- Benjamin, Judy.

758
01:06:00,879 --> 01:06:03,631
Will you look at this?
GI Judy!

759
01:06:03,882 --> 01:06:05,842
We'll call your parents.

760
01:06:06,092 --> 01:06:08,052
They'll be so thrilled we saw you.

761
01:06:08,303 --> 01:06:10,805
Your mother's coming along very nicely.

762
01:06:11,097 --> 01:06:12,974
She gained back some of the weight.

763
01:06:14,517 --> 01:06:15,560
Champagne?

764
01:06:15,852 --> 01:06:17,145
I'd love some, thank you.

765
01:06:17,395 --> 01:06:18,771
Since Yale's fu...

766
01:06:20,190 --> 01:06:23,985
By the way, I can't get over you
in this Army outfit.

767
01:06:24,235 --> 01:06:26,946
She didn't swim because
she didn't want her hair wet.

768
01:06:27,197 --> 01:06:28,406
This is true.

769
01:06:28,656 --> 01:06:30,033
What it's like to be a WAC?

770
01:06:30,325 --> 01:06:32,911
- I'm not a WAC.
- How often do you talk to your folks?

771
01:06:33,161 --> 01:06:35,914
Tell Henri how long
we've known your parents.

772
01:06:36,206 --> 01:06:38,833
Shall I make a long story short?

773
01:06:39,667 --> 01:06:41,377
Leo and I and Judy's parents...

774
01:06:41,628 --> 01:06:45,840
...double-dated in Atlantic City,
before even any one of us was married.

775
01:06:46,090 --> 01:06:49,344
It wasn't Atlantic City.
It was Asbury Park, but it's all right.

776
01:06:49,594 --> 01:06:53,014
I've never been to
Asbury Park in my life.

777
01:06:55,934 --> 01:06:57,060
Would you like to dance?

778
01:06:57,560 --> 01:06:59,270
I'd love to dance.

779
01:07:13,159 --> 01:07:14,828
The Lemishes are terrific people...

780
01:07:15,078 --> 01:07:18,623
...but 4 hours of making long stories
short was driving me crazy.

781
01:07:18,873 --> 01:07:21,709
4 hours? Try 28 years.

782
01:07:25,672 --> 01:07:28,466
I've never danced with a soldier before.

783
01:07:28,716 --> 01:07:31,594
I've never danced as a soldier before.

784
01:07:34,597 --> 01:07:36,808
- I kind of like it.
- So do I.

785
01:07:42,522 --> 01:07:44,774
Do you have a boyfriend in this Army?

786
01:07:45,024 --> 01:07:46,276
No.

787
01:07:48,361 --> 01:07:50,321
Don't you get lonely?

788
01:07:51,364 --> 01:07:55,118
- How'd you get to speak English so well?
- Baltimore.

789
01:07:55,368 --> 01:07:58,413
- Maryland?
- I went to med school at Johns Hopkins.

790
01:08:17,182 --> 01:08:20,935
I just can't believe
that you're in this Army.

791
01:08:23,646 --> 01:08:26,065
If I knew you better,
I'd show you my dog tags.

792
01:08:27,775 --> 01:08:28,943
How much better?

793
01:08:49,214 --> 01:08:51,174
Let's go to my room.

794
01:08:56,346 --> 01:08:58,807
I'm really attracted to you.

795
01:08:59,808 --> 01:09:04,229
But I'm not ready to make love to a
man I just met an hour and a half ago.

796
01:09:05,104 --> 01:09:06,815
I'm sorry.

797
01:09:07,232 --> 01:09:09,359
That's just the way I am.

798
01:09:11,110 --> 01:09:15,740
Usually, by the time I kiss a guy, I
already know his mother's maiden name.

799
01:09:18,451 --> 01:09:20,203
I wish I knew you better.

800
01:09:20,787 --> 01:09:22,539
I'm thirty-four...

801
01:09:22,831 --> 01:09:25,875
...and I live alone in Neuilly,
on the outskirts of Paris.

802
01:09:27,252 --> 01:09:29,754
I'm the only child...

803
01:09:30,255 --> 01:09:32,590
...and my father is also a doctor.

804
01:09:33,883 --> 01:09:35,176
What else?

805
01:09:36,386 --> 01:09:38,888
When I'm not working I play soccer.

806
01:09:40,598 --> 01:09:42,600
Let's see...

807
01:09:43,768 --> 01:09:45,353
I'm Jewish.

808
01:10:08,918 --> 01:10:12,463
Now I know what I've been
faking all these years.

809
01:10:22,432 --> 01:10:23,933
That was your first?

810
01:10:25,935 --> 01:10:27,562
And second.

811
01:10:40,116 --> 01:10:41,659
Where are you going?

812
01:10:41,910 --> 01:10:45,121
- Just to get a sip of champagne.
- I want to go with you.

813
01:11:00,094 --> 01:11:01,596
I'm sorry.

814
01:11:05,809 --> 01:11:07,101
No I'm not.

815
01:11:10,438 --> 01:11:11,856
What?

816
01:11:13,274 --> 01:11:14,984
Private Benjamin.

817
01:11:17,987 --> 01:11:20,448
Meeting you tonight was...

818
01:11:23,701 --> 01:11:25,954
It was just what I needed.

819
01:11:36,005 --> 01:11:38,132
What you needed?

820
01:11:46,349 --> 01:11:48,101
If you're ever in Paris...

821
01:11:49,269 --> 01:11:51,062
If you're ever in Biloxi.

822
01:11:55,775 --> 01:11:57,527
It was nice meeting you.

823
01:12:18,381 --> 01:12:19,507
What did you get?

824
01:12:19,757 --> 01:12:23,720
- MP School.
- You can put your violence to good use.

825
01:12:24,012 --> 01:12:26,264
- Smoke and flame specialist.
- What's that?

826
01:12:26,514 --> 01:12:27,474
A fireman.

827
01:12:27,724 --> 01:12:30,310
I got transferred to
Fort Ord, California.

828
01:12:30,560 --> 01:12:33,354
You got the yachts, honey!
You got the yachts!

829
01:12:33,938 --> 01:12:36,149
- What?
- OCS.

830
01:12:36,399 --> 01:12:38,067
Can you believe it?!

831
01:12:38,318 --> 01:12:43,114
- Honey, you're going to be an officer.
- There goes a beautiful friendship.

832
01:12:43,364 --> 01:12:44,282
What did you get?

833
01:12:44,574 --> 01:12:46,868
I don't know. I'm petrified.

834
01:12:47,243 --> 01:12:48,745
Excuse me!

835
01:12:49,120 --> 01:12:51,039
- Where's Benjamin?
- Right there.

836
01:12:52,040 --> 01:12:53,041
Thornbirds?

837
01:12:54,000 --> 01:12:55,251
Me?

838
01:12:55,752 --> 01:12:57,420
They don't have women Thornbirds.

839
01:12:57,670 --> 01:12:59,088
They do now.

840
01:13:04,302 --> 01:13:08,097
I was a skinny fighting lad
No more than seventeen

841
01:13:08,348 --> 01:13:12,435
The sorriest excuse for a man
That you have ever seen

842
01:13:12,685 --> 01:13:16,356
But now I am a Thornbird
And as proud as I can be

843
01:13:16,606 --> 01:13:20,652
Colonel Thornbush
Made a man out of me

844
01:13:25,573 --> 01:13:29,536
Glory, glory
I'll be falling through the sky

845
01:13:29,786 --> 01:13:33,665
Glory, glory
I am not afraid to die

846
01:13:33,915 --> 01:13:37,377
Glory, glory
I'm as proud as I can be

847
01:13:37,627 --> 01:13:41,714
Colonel Thornbush
Made a man out of me

848
01:14:36,144 --> 01:14:38,146
Good morning, sir.

849
01:14:38,396 --> 01:14:39,981
I'd like you to meet my wife.

850
01:14:40,899 --> 01:14:44,736
- Good to meet you, Mrs. Thornbush.
- Good to meet you, Miss Lady Thornbird.

851
01:14:44,986 --> 01:14:47,906
- I've heard a lot about you.
- Thank you.

852
01:14:48,239 --> 01:14:50,200
I guess this is the Thorndog.

853
01:14:50,533 --> 01:14:51,784
Shake, Scrabble!

854
01:14:53,870 --> 01:14:57,332
You must be nervous
about the big jump tomorrow.

855
01:14:57,582 --> 01:15:00,084
The Colonel says I can do it.
I guess I can.

856
01:15:00,335 --> 01:15:02,921
The Colonel's motto is,
"Life is a series...

857
01:15:03,171 --> 01:15:06,674
...of challenges to be
met and mastered."

858
01:15:06,966 --> 01:15:11,095
I hope you catch a cloud, Benjamin.
Not a feeling like it in the world.

859
01:15:11,554 --> 01:15:15,266
You're in a veil of white,
not a sound except your beating heart.

860
01:15:16,100 --> 01:15:17,727
It's godlike.

861
01:15:22,982 --> 01:15:26,069
You must be very special.

862
01:15:26,402 --> 01:15:28,530
The "Big T" is a
great judge of character.

863
01:15:28,780 --> 01:15:30,657
Stop gabbing and let this soldier...

864
01:15:30,907 --> 01:15:31,908
...get some chow.

865
01:15:32,158 --> 01:15:33,576
Goodbye, sir.

866
01:15:36,079 --> 01:15:39,207
I really appreciate
your confidence in me.

867
01:15:39,457 --> 01:15:41,334
I'm not going to let you down.

868
01:15:42,627 --> 01:15:45,338
See you at 13,000 feet, okay?

869
01:15:52,762 --> 01:15:54,681
Oy vey!

870
01:16:06,568 --> 01:16:08,570
Go with it!
Soar! You're a Thornbird!

871
01:16:10,822 --> 01:16:13,116
Come on, Benjamin,
let's go! All right?

872
01:16:18,413 --> 01:16:20,540
- You can do it! Trust me!
- I can't!

873
01:16:21,708 --> 01:16:23,918
I'm ashamed, but I'm afraid to die.

874
01:16:24,169 --> 01:16:27,463
- I'm afraid, Colonel. I'm not brave.
- Take it easy!

875
01:16:27,714 --> 01:16:29,007
I can't. I'm afraid...

876
01:16:29,257 --> 01:16:31,092
...my chute won't open.

877
01:16:31,342 --> 01:16:33,845
- Calm down, Benjamin!
- What if I fall upside down?

878
01:16:34,095 --> 01:16:37,432
- I could vomit in midair!
- Take it easy!

879
01:16:37,682 --> 01:16:41,603
I tried to be macho, but those guys
are better at being men than I am!

880
01:16:41,895 --> 01:16:43,897
Relax, Benjamin,
you don't have to jump!

881
01:16:44,481 --> 01:16:46,149
- I don't?
- No!

882
01:16:46,399 --> 01:16:48,568
Take it easy, girl! Shape up!

883
01:16:49,319 --> 01:16:50,653
You better?

884
01:16:51,112 --> 01:16:52,947
I feel better now.

885
01:16:53,198 --> 01:16:55,825
You don't have to jump.

886
01:16:56,201 --> 01:16:58,203
You're a good man.

887
01:16:58,495 --> 01:17:00,121
There are other ways you can serve.

888
01:17:06,628 --> 01:17:07,587
Happy, darling?

889
01:17:08,296 --> 01:17:10,381
- You want it!
- What are you doing?

890
01:17:10,632 --> 01:17:13,134
I can smell fear in any man
and passion in any woman!

891
01:17:13,384 --> 01:17:14,427
You want it!

892
01:17:16,346 --> 01:17:19,140
My God, this isn't happening to me!

893
01:17:20,308 --> 01:17:21,518
I'm going to take you.

894
01:17:21,851 --> 01:17:24,562
I'm not in the mood.
Suddenly I feel nauseous.

895
01:17:24,813 --> 01:17:26,481
Come to papa.

896
01:17:27,232 --> 01:17:30,360
I don't think so, sir,
but thanks anyway.

897
01:17:34,197 --> 01:17:36,699
My God! Open, please!

898
01:17:45,375 --> 01:17:46,543
At ease.

899
01:17:49,295 --> 01:17:51,214
I'm glad you're back in one piece.

900
01:17:52,757 --> 01:17:57,178
I apologize for yesterday's indiscretion.
An unforgivable breach of discipline.

901
01:17:57,887 --> 01:17:59,472
And taste, sir.

902
01:18:02,517 --> 01:18:04,894
I hope it hasn't soured you
on the military.

903
01:18:05,270 --> 01:18:08,022
The question is how long
you'll continue as a Thornbird.

904
01:18:08,273 --> 01:18:10,233
Hopefully not too long, sir.

905
01:18:12,360 --> 01:18:13,570
Understood.

906
01:18:13,820 --> 01:18:17,699
That's why I've put you on special
assignment, transferred to another post.

907
01:18:18,867 --> 01:18:21,161
A special assignment
on the ground, I hope.

908
01:18:22,036 --> 01:18:23,997
- A job in procurement.
- Procurement?

909
01:18:24,247 --> 01:18:27,333
That's purchasing. I've cut
your orders, you leave at 1500.

910
01:18:29,460 --> 01:18:30,587
Greenland?

911
01:18:30,837 --> 01:18:32,797
What, penguins? Forget it!

912
01:18:33,548 --> 01:18:34,674
Forget it!

913
01:18:35,842 --> 01:18:38,887
I was in the first wave of the Rangers
at Normandy on D-day.

914
01:18:39,137 --> 01:18:43,641
In 1952 I was standing with my troops
on the banks of the Yalu River, waiting.

915
01:18:43,892 --> 01:18:46,186
MacArthur phoned.
"Come home, Thornie...

916
01:18:46,519 --> 01:18:48,813
...it's not our year."
I am a good leader.

917
01:18:49,063 --> 01:18:51,065
No, I am a great leader!

918
01:18:51,524 --> 01:18:53,902
Your ass is going to
Greenland for a reason.

919
01:18:54,152 --> 01:18:58,865
I won't let you shoot your mouth off,
blemishing my record with innuendo.

920
01:18:59,199 --> 01:19:00,950
Innuendo? Try rape.

921
01:19:03,953 --> 01:19:04,829
How about Guam?

922
01:19:05,872 --> 01:19:07,332
My hair will frizz.

923
01:19:08,666 --> 01:19:09,542
Okinawa?

924
01:19:09,959 --> 01:19:13,004
Malaria? Pass.

925
01:19:13,671 --> 01:19:16,049
We have bases all over the world.

926
01:19:47,163 --> 01:19:49,874
Dear Glass, hello from Belgium.

927
01:19:50,124 --> 01:19:53,837
Sorry it's taken me so long to write,
but I've been very busy.

928
01:19:54,087 --> 01:19:55,922
S.H.A.P.E. Is an amazing place.

929
01:19:56,214 --> 01:19:59,050
The top military headquarters
in Europe.

930
01:19:59,300 --> 01:20:02,345
Definitely the most exciting duty
a soldier could pull.

931
01:20:02,595 --> 01:20:04,973
My M. O. S. Is Purchasing Specialist...

932
01:20:05,223 --> 01:20:08,059
...the one job I've
trained for all my life.

933
01:20:08,893 --> 01:20:10,645
My superior is a terrific guy...

934
01:20:11,437 --> 01:20:14,232
...a Turkish officer
named Lieutenant Rahmi.

935
01:20:14,482 --> 01:20:18,611
But the best one can say of his English
is that it's better than my Turkish.

936
01:20:19,571 --> 01:20:21,197
Benyameen, ka'.

937
01:20:22,532 --> 01:20:23,658
Sate.

938
01:20:25,118 --> 01:20:29,164
Benyameen, I need the inpoormation
on the drying caruses.

939
01:20:29,581 --> 01:20:30,582
Driving courses?

940
01:20:30,832 --> 01:20:33,042
Yes, sir. I'm working on that now.

941
01:20:33,293 --> 01:20:37,213
Excellent. I want you
to rye-eed it to the counsule.

942
01:20:38,047 --> 01:20:39,966
Me? Read it to the council?

943
01:20:40,425 --> 01:20:42,469
Do want me to rye-eed it?

944
01:20:46,264 --> 01:20:48,308
Private Benyameen... Benjamin!

945
01:20:48,558 --> 01:20:51,728
I got a charming apartment
through an ad in Stars and Stripes.

946
01:20:51,978 --> 01:20:55,440
It's right over a bakery,
has a hot plate, running water...

947
01:20:55,690 --> 01:20:57,650
...and all the croissants I can eat.

948
01:20:57,901 --> 01:21:00,653
It's not exactly Versailles,
but it's home.

949
01:21:00,904 --> 01:21:05,033
For the first time in months, I feel
that things are really going my way.

950
01:21:20,632 --> 01:21:23,468
I finally got the nerve
to pay Henri a surprise visit.

951
01:21:23,718 --> 01:21:27,597
I'll let you know how it turns out.
I hope he remembers me.

952
01:21:27,847 --> 01:21:32,227
My love to Moe and Gianelli.
Votre amie, Private B.

953
01:21:32,852 --> 01:21:36,022
Let's see... just got into town.

954
01:21:37,607 --> 01:21:41,486
And feeling kind of lonely.
No, don't say lonely.

955
01:21:41,736 --> 01:21:42,946
Oh, God!

956
01:22:09,389 --> 01:22:13,184
It's a great house, but don't be
impressed. It's a hand-me-down.

957
01:22:32,328 --> 01:22:33,955
- Morning.
- Nine o'clock?

958
01:22:34,205 --> 01:22:37,000
I haven't slept this late in 3 months.

959
01:22:42,547 --> 01:22:44,799
- Where are you going?
- Sunday soccer.

960
01:22:46,092 --> 01:22:47,469
Merde! I'm late.

961
01:22:47,760 --> 01:22:49,637
I have to go anyway.

962
01:22:49,929 --> 01:22:51,639
Don't be ridiculous, please!

963
01:22:51,890 --> 01:22:55,226
Stay. I want you to be here when
I get back at three o'clock.

964
01:22:55,477 --> 01:22:59,939
I'm going to make love to you,
and I'll take you to my favorite bistro.

965
01:23:00,732 --> 01:23:03,401
And we'll listen to
some nice Italian jazz.

966
01:23:04,777 --> 01:23:05,695
Max!

967
01:23:16,122 --> 01:23:18,208
Hello, baby!

968
01:23:20,543 --> 01:23:22,212
He's beautiful.

969
01:23:22,462 --> 01:23:23,505
Sit!

970
01:23:28,468 --> 01:23:30,178
The dog is deaf.

971
01:23:36,768 --> 01:23:39,062
Wait for me, please.

972
01:23:44,108 --> 01:23:46,152
I could get used to you.

973
01:24:08,842 --> 01:24:11,719
I paid 8,000 francs for this rug.

974
01:24:12,762 --> 01:24:17,142
I'm sorry. He gets nervous
around new people.

975
01:24:17,392 --> 01:24:19,227
He's not the only one.

976
01:24:23,648 --> 01:24:26,734
- I have to clean this up.
- You go play. I'll clean up.

977
01:24:26,985 --> 01:24:29,487
No, I'll clean it.
Go play.

978
01:24:41,624 --> 01:24:42,917
I adore you.

979
01:24:50,425 --> 01:24:55,180
There are two bids we recommend:
Sergio Devoto's Driving Academy...

980
01:24:55,513 --> 01:24:58,224
...which teaches evasive driving
to the chauffeurs...

981
01:24:58,475 --> 01:25:01,811
...of such dignitaries as
General Alexander Haig...

982
01:25:02,061 --> 01:25:05,773
...President Giscard d'Estaing,
Mick Jagger...

983
01:25:06,065 --> 01:25:08,401
Excuse me, Private Benjamin...

984
01:25:08,651 --> 01:25:11,779
...I'm afraid I missed
the security data on these drivers.

985
01:25:12,030 --> 01:25:14,616
The security data was
unavailable to me, sir.

986
01:25:15,283 --> 01:25:17,744
Who's here from security?

987
01:25:19,579 --> 01:25:20,455
I am, sir.

988
01:25:24,250 --> 01:25:26,920
That material is highly classified, sir.

989
01:25:27,170 --> 01:25:30,632
I am certain this soldier
is not cleared for that level.

990
01:25:30,882 --> 01:25:32,967
Then clear her, Captain.

991
01:25:34,636 --> 01:25:35,595
Is there a problem?

992
01:25:38,765 --> 01:25:39,682
No, sir.

993
01:25:39,933 --> 01:25:43,102
Then we'll expect a revised report
by the next council session.

994
01:25:43,353 --> 01:25:44,395
Gentlemen...

995
01:25:44,729 --> 01:25:45,772
...chow time.

996
01:25:50,235 --> 01:25:51,277
Good job.

997
01:26:11,131 --> 01:26:12,924
Behave yourself, Judy Benjamin...

998
01:26:13,174 --> 01:26:17,846
...or I'll drum your ass out of S.H.A.P.E.
So fast it'll make your head spin.

999
01:26:25,353 --> 01:26:26,980
Sorry, Helga.

1000
01:26:27,272 --> 01:26:29,190
Who is your friend, Doreen?

1001
01:26:29,440 --> 01:26:31,776
She's no fwiend... friend.

1002
01:26:32,569 --> 01:26:34,779
Listen, the bags are packed.

1003
01:26:40,076 --> 01:26:42,203
My ex-girlfriend, Claire, painted it.

1004
01:26:42,453 --> 01:26:46,249
- What's it supposed to be, death?
- No, it's a self-portrait.

1005
01:26:47,125 --> 01:26:49,210
How long ago did you and this...

1006
01:26:50,086 --> 01:26:51,880
...painter break up?

1007
01:26:52,672 --> 01:26:56,926
- 14 weeks ago, Monday.
- You're still counting it in weeks?

1008
01:26:58,761 --> 01:27:02,682
How come you broke up?
Or is that too personal?

1009
01:27:04,392 --> 01:27:06,019
Claire is a brilliant woman.

1010
01:27:06,269 --> 01:27:10,607
I even joined the Communist Party
for her for a week.

1011
01:27:11,274 --> 01:27:15,069
Not romantic though,
much too independent.

1012
01:27:18,907 --> 01:27:21,117
Do you know a lot of tortured artists?

1013
01:27:21,701 --> 01:27:23,995
Only tortured lawyers.

1014
01:27:25,413 --> 01:27:27,749
Your first husband was a lawyer?

1015
01:27:27,999 --> 01:27:31,419
No, Rick was a tennis pro
at the El San Juan.

1016
01:27:31,920 --> 01:27:35,757
My therapist said that I had
a neurotic need to find a father figure.

1017
01:27:36,007 --> 01:27:39,928
And he had a neurotic need to find
a father-in-law who had a lot of money.

1018
01:27:49,562 --> 01:27:54,442
You know, I've been married to men
I haven't felt this comfortable with.

1019
01:29:08,141 --> 01:29:11,686
What's the story with you
and this Tremont character?

1020
01:29:12,562 --> 01:29:14,355
Why are you spying on me?

1021
01:29:27,619 --> 01:29:31,372
- Your lover-boy's a Red!
- Don't be ridiculous!

1022
01:29:31,623 --> 01:29:34,584
He was a Red for about five seconds.

1023
01:29:34,834 --> 01:29:36,711
Because of a woman he used to date.

1024
01:29:37,170 --> 01:29:41,216
Nobody stops being a Communist.
It's a terminal disease.

1025
01:29:41,466 --> 01:29:45,261
And I am not going to sit around
with my thumb up my ass...

1026
01:29:45,512 --> 01:29:48,014
...while you divulge
classified information...

1027
01:29:48,264 --> 01:29:50,517
...during the throes of passion.

1028
01:29:50,767 --> 01:29:54,020
Please! I can barely speak
during the throes of passion.

1029
01:29:54,437 --> 01:29:57,774
Believe me, Henri Tremont is
as much a Communist as me.

1030
01:29:58,149 --> 01:29:59,275
Or you!

1031
01:30:00,860 --> 01:30:04,155
If Patton were alive,
he would slap your face.

1032
01:30:07,534 --> 01:30:08,785
As you were.

1033
01:30:13,373 --> 01:30:14,749
Captain Lewis.

1034
01:30:16,876 --> 01:30:20,547
Private Benjamin has made herself
vulnerable to a Red, sir.

1035
01:30:20,797 --> 01:30:22,006
I read the report.

1036
01:30:22,257 --> 01:30:23,258
It's not true, sir.

1037
01:30:23,508 --> 01:30:27,971
We're not blind to the fact
that half of Europe is Communistic.

1038
01:30:29,139 --> 01:30:31,474
But here at S.H.A.P.E.
They're still the enemy.

1039
01:30:32,183 --> 01:30:33,810
General Foley, Henri Tremont...

1040
01:30:34,060 --> 01:30:37,480
...is not a Communist.
He's a gynecologist.

1041
01:30:38,523 --> 01:30:40,859
Captain Lewis is hung up
on a technicality.

1042
01:30:41,192 --> 01:30:45,488
I'm sorry, but it's against regulations
for you to associate with this man.

1043
01:30:46,489 --> 01:30:48,867
You're up for a promotion.

1044
01:30:49,117 --> 01:30:52,412
I'd hate to see this incident
jeopardize your career.

1045
01:30:53,621 --> 01:30:55,665
What are you trying to tell me, sir?

1046
01:30:57,292 --> 01:30:59,002
It's either him...

1047
01:30:59,294 --> 01:31:00,336
...or us.

1048
01:31:25,653 --> 01:31:27,780
- Can't you hear?
- Can't you move?

1049
01:31:34,287 --> 01:31:35,747
It's Judy.

1050
01:31:35,997 --> 01:31:36,998
Judy who?

1051
01:31:37,874 --> 01:31:40,210
Darling, how are you?

1052
01:31:41,544 --> 01:31:42,420
What?

1053
01:31:48,968 --> 01:31:50,595
She's getting married.

1054
01:32:06,778 --> 01:32:10,073
Monsieur Shiffman!
Thank God!

1055
01:32:15,537 --> 01:32:18,122
Listen, the tablecloths...

1056
01:32:22,502 --> 01:32:26,548
...they're terrible.
The color, la couleur, is all wrong.

1057
01:32:29,968 --> 01:32:33,179
The wedding is in yellow...

1058
01:32:33,763 --> 01:32:36,057
...and butterscotch.

1059
01:32:37,183 --> 01:32:40,145
And right now I'm looking at
something entre...

1060
01:32:40,395 --> 01:32:43,106
...canari et banane.

1061
01:32:43,523 --> 01:32:44,440
Gabby!

1062
01:32:46,860 --> 01:32:48,069
Pardon, Madame!

1063
01:32:49,154 --> 01:32:51,698
I get the Hoover.

1064
01:32:56,870 --> 01:32:59,581
Was she a good maid
before she met me?

1065
01:33:01,624 --> 01:33:04,669
Is it smart to fire the maid
just before the wedding?

1066
01:33:05,128 --> 01:33:07,255
Especially with your parents coming.

1067
01:33:07,630 --> 01:33:11,134
Okay, she stays until after the wedding.

1068
01:33:13,511 --> 01:33:15,555
You look very beautiful today.

1069
01:33:16,639 --> 01:33:18,016
So do you.

1070
01:33:18,766 --> 01:33:21,019
What did your friends say
when they called?

1071
01:33:21,269 --> 01:33:24,105
They're coming over on
Army Transport next week.

1072
01:33:24,355 --> 01:33:27,275
I can't wait to see them.
It's going to be so much fun.

1073
01:33:27,525 --> 01:33:29,903
And Glass is learning French!

1074
01:33:39,162 --> 01:33:41,080
Honey, who was that?

1075
01:33:42,749 --> 01:33:44,667
It was Claire.

1076
01:33:48,379 --> 01:33:49,672
Claire?

1077
01:34:02,352 --> 01:34:04,479
Get over this obsession with Claire.

1078
01:34:04,813 --> 01:34:06,940
You stood with your tongue hanging out.

1079
01:34:07,273 --> 01:34:09,067
I was surprised to see her.

1080
01:34:09,317 --> 01:34:12,529
Surprised?
I'd call it catatonic.

1081
01:34:12,779 --> 01:34:16,533
You don't see me getting hung up on your
old boyfriends and husbands.

1082
01:34:16,783 --> 01:34:18,201
Do you?

1083
01:34:20,036 --> 01:34:21,496
Listen to me.

1084
01:34:21,788 --> 01:34:22,872
Come here.

1085
01:34:25,166 --> 01:34:26,084
I love you.

1086
01:34:26,709 --> 01:34:28,795
We're getting married in a week.

1087
01:34:36,594 --> 01:34:38,263
I want to have a baby with you.

1088
01:34:41,015 --> 01:34:42,142
You do?

1089
01:34:43,852 --> 01:34:45,603
Oh, honey!

1090
01:34:46,855 --> 01:34:48,481
I'd love to have a baby.

1091
01:34:49,983 --> 01:34:51,693
I thought I was getting too old.

1092
01:34:55,864 --> 01:34:57,574
A baby!

1093
01:35:00,994 --> 01:35:03,997
- I want us to be together always.
- We will!

1094
01:35:10,545 --> 01:35:12,589
It's the reality of things sometimes...

1095
01:35:12,839 --> 01:35:16,718
...they don't always work out
exactly as they are planned, so...

1096
01:35:18,011 --> 01:35:19,596
What are you saying?

1097
01:35:22,515 --> 01:35:24,684
- I want you to sign this.
- What is it?

1098
01:35:24,934 --> 01:35:26,895
Contrat de mariage.

1099
01:35:27,896 --> 01:35:30,648
A letter of financial agreement.

1100
01:35:31,316 --> 01:35:35,778
God forbid something should happen
to us. It just helps us stay friends.

1101
01:35:37,530 --> 01:35:39,991
I want to be your wife, not your friend.

1102
01:35:40,283 --> 01:35:44,245
It's fair. I allocated for myself
what was mine before our marriage.

1103
01:35:44,829 --> 01:35:46,998
You cannot expect me to give you...

1104
01:35:47,248 --> 01:35:51,252
...half of a house that's been
in my family for centuries.

1105
01:35:55,131 --> 01:35:58,551
We don't need this kind of thing
between us. We'll make it.

1106
01:35:59,511 --> 01:36:01,471
I can't get married without it.

1107
01:36:11,523 --> 01:36:13,441
It's in French.

1108
01:36:13,691 --> 01:36:15,151
Please.

1109
01:36:33,795 --> 01:36:35,964
Private Benjamin?

1110
01:36:36,214 --> 01:36:38,675
Did I write that? I'm sorry.

1111
01:36:38,925 --> 01:36:40,593
I'll just cross it out.

1112
01:36:45,849 --> 01:36:47,559
Initial it.

1113
01:37:01,865 --> 01:37:04,325
Where shall we go tonight?
Regine's?

1114
01:37:19,674 --> 01:37:23,303
Took Henri's car to the shop.
Made Henri's hair appointment.

1115
01:37:23,553 --> 01:37:25,430
Took Max to the vet.

1116
01:37:25,680 --> 01:37:28,141
Picked up Henri's soccer uniform.

1117
01:37:34,939 --> 01:37:38,318
You've got to remember that
I used to be a very active person.

1118
01:37:38,568 --> 01:37:40,820
I was jumping out of airplanes...

1119
01:37:41,070 --> 01:37:44,157
...and at S.H.A.P.E. It was
like nonstop chaos.

1120
01:37:44,407 --> 01:37:46,784
You're not thinking about
opening a store?

1121
01:37:47,035 --> 01:37:48,953
No, you were right about that.

1122
01:37:49,204 --> 01:37:52,749
It would've been too much
of a hassle to do. It was a bad idea.

1123
01:37:52,999 --> 01:37:56,711
But there have to be other choices.

1124
01:37:56,961 --> 01:37:59,380
Do you know what I did today?

1125
01:38:00,590 --> 01:38:02,675
I rearranged my closet.

1126
01:38:02,926 --> 01:38:04,344
For three hours.

1127
01:38:04,594 --> 01:38:07,889
There's definitely something wrong
with that, isn't there?

1128
01:38:09,933 --> 01:38:12,393
- Am I making sense?
- No.

1129
01:38:13,311 --> 01:38:15,146
And that's what I love about you.

1130
01:38:18,483 --> 01:38:20,944
This is the color of hair
I was talking about.

1131
01:38:22,612 --> 01:38:24,697
I don't know. Maybe.

1132
01:38:26,741 --> 01:38:28,117
I love it.

1133
01:38:55,937 --> 01:38:58,064
Rita Hayworth, I swear to God!

1134
01:38:58,314 --> 01:39:01,359
- I wouldn't have recognized you.
- You look stunning!

1135
01:39:01,609 --> 01:39:05,029
Turn around, let me see the outfit.
Oh God, doll! Gorgeous!

1136
01:39:05,280 --> 01:39:06,781
It's an absolute vision.

1137
01:39:07,031 --> 01:39:09,159
Her hair is the worst!

1138
01:39:09,409 --> 01:39:13,621
To see you looking like your
old self again, you have no idea!

1139
01:39:13,872 --> 01:39:15,748
Who knows what we'd do
in her place.

1140
01:39:16,875 --> 01:39:19,752
The important thing is,
Judy's Judy again.

1141
01:39:20,003 --> 01:39:24,591
- Truthfully, you don't miss the Army?
- What's to miss? $400 a month?

1142
01:39:24,841 --> 01:39:27,844
The only good thing about it
was that what's-her-name.

1143
01:39:28,094 --> 01:39:29,471
Captain Lewis?

1144
01:39:30,054 --> 01:39:33,349
I hope her coat's good enough.
I had no idea it'd be so chilly.

1145
01:39:33,600 --> 01:39:38,438
- It's November here, Kissy.
- It's November everywhere, genius!

1146
01:39:47,322 --> 01:39:48,531
Sit!

1147
01:39:50,158 --> 01:39:52,410
I was talking to Max.

1148
01:39:54,913 --> 01:39:56,998
It's good to see you up.

1149
01:39:58,291 --> 01:40:00,502
Excuse me for interrupting.

1150
01:40:01,586 --> 01:40:03,254
Does this belong to anyone?

1151
01:40:03,505 --> 01:40:06,257
Because I'm positive it isn't mine.

1152
01:40:06,508 --> 01:40:08,343
Oui, Madame.
Where did you find it?

1153
01:40:08,593 --> 01:40:10,178
Where you left eet!

1154
01:40:10,512 --> 01:40:13,348
May I ask what you were doing
in my bed?!

1155
01:40:13,598 --> 01:40:16,309
I was not in your bed, madame.
I make your bed.

1156
01:40:17,894 --> 01:40:19,437
It must have fallen.

1157
01:40:20,563 --> 01:40:21,523
What are you doing?

1158
01:40:21,773 --> 01:40:24,692
I would like to know how
this item got into my bed.

1159
01:40:29,155 --> 01:40:32,826
This is too much!
Judy, give Gabrielle back the cross.

1160
01:40:39,958 --> 01:40:42,460
What should I think?
She's the world's worst maid!

1161
01:40:42,710 --> 01:40:44,379
Enough! Please!

1162
01:40:48,091 --> 01:40:52,512
What's gotten into you lately? It's like
I live with the kid from the Exorcist!

1163
01:40:53,721 --> 01:40:56,182
Two weeks ago I was like a god to you!

1164
01:40:56,474 --> 01:40:58,101
Now you show me no respect.

1165
01:40:58,810 --> 01:41:00,353
I respect you.

1166
01:41:00,687 --> 01:41:05,191
Accusing me of sleeping with Gabrielle!
You think I'm so low I'd seduce a child?

1167
01:41:08,027 --> 01:41:08,987
Do you?

1168
01:41:14,242 --> 01:41:16,494
Honey, I'm nervous.

1169
01:41:17,245 --> 01:41:19,414
I'm very nervous.

1170
01:41:19,664 --> 01:41:23,918
And I know that once we get married
everything is going to be fine.

1171
01:41:24,169 --> 01:41:25,837
I'm sorry.

1172
01:41:35,138 --> 01:41:38,892
I fly 6,000 miles to attend
my daughter's wedding...

1173
01:41:39,142 --> 01:41:41,019
...and the groom is playing soccer!

1174
01:41:41,269 --> 01:41:44,522
Daddy, he'll be here any minute.
He probably went into overtime.

1175
01:41:44,856 --> 01:41:47,108
Monsieur, my son is very reliable.

1176
01:41:47,358 --> 01:41:50,236
- He will be here shortly.
- It just isn't right!

1177
01:41:55,492 --> 01:41:57,035
Jean-Paul!

1178
01:42:01,998 --> 01:42:03,458
Where is Henri?

1179
01:42:04,125 --> 01:42:07,086
The bum never showed up
for the game. Isn't he here?

1180
01:42:08,254 --> 01:42:09,380
No.

1181
01:42:09,714 --> 01:42:10,799
He never showed up?

1182
01:42:14,260 --> 01:42:17,639
Judy, don't hate me
for saying this or nothing...

1183
01:42:17,889 --> 01:42:22,227
...but you really might be better-off.

1184
01:42:22,477 --> 01:42:24,395
Don't be ridiculous!

1185
01:42:26,147 --> 01:42:30,819
I don't know how to say this, but you
were starting to act a bit weird again.

1186
01:42:31,069 --> 01:42:33,238
What am I going to do?
I'm a wreck.

1187
01:42:33,988 --> 01:42:35,365
He's back!

1188
01:42:40,245 --> 01:42:41,830
You look perfect.

1189
01:42:42,080 --> 01:42:43,706
- Where were you?
- I'm fine.

1190
01:42:43,957 --> 01:42:46,751
No, where were you?
I was so scared.

1191
01:42:47,001 --> 01:42:50,338
- You don't want to know this.
- I do want to know.

1192
01:42:52,966 --> 01:42:54,843
I had to see Claire.

1193
01:42:57,595 --> 01:42:58,596
You were with Claire?

1194
01:42:58,847 --> 01:43:02,600
She is in so much trouble.
You've no idea what I've been through.

1195
01:43:02,851 --> 01:43:06,771
There are 75 people waiting for you.
Couldn't you have phoned?

1196
01:43:07,021 --> 01:43:10,650
- Don't bad French artists have phones?
- She was overwrought.

1197
01:43:10,984 --> 01:43:15,029
Her boyfriend beat her up.
I prescribed a sedative for her to sleep.

1198
01:43:15,280 --> 01:43:17,824
That takes 2 minutes,
you were gone 4 hours.

1199
01:43:18,074 --> 01:43:20,702
The place was a mess.
I hung up clothes and did dishes.

1200
01:43:20,952 --> 01:43:23,163
You did Claire's dishes?

1201
01:43:25,039 --> 01:43:27,834
Shall I stop being nice to people
because we're marrying?

1202
01:43:28,376 --> 01:43:31,671
I just don't understand
how you could be with Claire...

1203
01:43:32,130 --> 01:43:33,006
...today.

1204
01:43:33,256 --> 01:43:35,842
You want to walk down the aisle
with me or not?

1205
01:45:14,149 --> 01:45:16,568
Not so fast.

1206
01:45:18,862 --> 01:45:22,782
I know this is a very
awkward time to do this...

1207
01:45:23,992 --> 01:45:25,326
...but I want to break up.

1208
01:45:25,618 --> 01:45:27,370
She's crazy again.

1209
01:45:28,121 --> 01:45:29,330
Listen to me.

1210
01:45:29,622 --> 01:45:34,335
You're having an anxiety attack.
I'll give you a shot to calm down.

1211
01:45:34,586 --> 01:45:37,714
No, I want to be perfectly conscious
when I call a cab.

1212
01:45:37,964 --> 01:45:41,509
What are you doing to me?
What is this about? Gabrielle?

1213
01:45:42,218 --> 01:45:44,929
I slept with her one night
when you were acting crazy.

1214
01:45:46,264 --> 01:45:48,725
We'll fire her after the wedding.

1215
01:45:52,270 --> 01:45:53,688
You're such a schmuck!

1216
01:45:56,065 --> 01:45:56,941
Daddy...

1217
01:45:57,192 --> 01:45:59,444
...Mom just fainted.

1218
01:46:00,862 --> 01:46:02,238
Schmuck?!

1219
01:46:03,364 --> 01:46:05,825
When I met you,
you were in the Army.

1220
01:46:06,201 --> 01:46:08,620
You were nothing,
picking up strangers in bars!

1221
01:46:08,870 --> 01:46:11,039
- Now just a minute!
- She was.

1222
01:46:11,539 --> 01:46:15,168
I'll give you a future, a home, a name.
For once don't be stupid!

1223
01:46:16,544 --> 01:46:17,962
- There's Claire.
- Where?

1224
01:46:25,053 --> 01:46:26,137
Don't call me stupid.