1
00:02:34,459 --> 00:02:36,401
Señor...
2
00:02:36,500 --> 00:02:38,523
we must not go any further.
3
00:02:39,417 --> 00:02:41,316
Look!
4
00:02:43,583 --> 00:02:47,276
It is an ancient,
sacred Hovitos symbol.
5
00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:50,150
It's certain death for
anyone who enters.
6
00:02:50,250 --> 00:02:51,900
We must turn back...
7
00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,607
now!
8
00:06:42,376 --> 00:06:43,733
George.
9
00:06:43,833 --> 00:06:45,150
Hello?
10
00:06:45,250 --> 00:06:46,817
Earth to George.
11
00:06:46,917 --> 00:06:48,401
George!
12
00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:50,067
Are you daydreaming again?
13
00:06:50,167 --> 00:06:55,192
No, no, I was just admiring how
clean and shiny this grill is.
14
00:06:55,292 --> 00:06:57,067
Come on, George. We're busy here.
15
00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:58,484
You know what the problem is?
16
00:06:58,583 --> 00:07:01,692
Nobody here appreciates a
guy with a good imagination.
17
00:07:01,792 --> 00:07:03,733
Well, at least not the
people at the lumber yard
18
00:07:03,833 --> 00:07:06,650
or the miniature golf course
or Floyd's Fish Market,
19
00:07:06,750 --> 00:07:09,650
or any of the other places you
worked in the last month, right?
20
00:07:09,750 --> 00:07:12,942
Yeah. Well, someday...
someday they'll be sorry.
21
00:07:13,042 --> 00:07:15,276
They'll be eating
breakfast or something
22
00:07:15,376 --> 00:07:19,650
and all of a sudden, they'll say, "Hey!
We screwed up!
23
00:07:19,750 --> 00:07:22,150
We never should have
fired George Newman
24
00:07:22,250 --> 00:07:24,483
because he's got imagination."
25
00:07:26,209 --> 00:07:28,317
Well, I think the fries
are just about done.
26
00:07:28,417 --> 00:07:31,359
Aw, jeez, you better not
let Big Edna see that.
27
00:07:31,459 --> 00:07:33,525
- She'll have a fit.
- Big Edna, Big Edna.
28
00:07:33,625 --> 00:07:35,317
You sound like a broken record.
29
00:07:35,417 --> 00:07:39,523
Why are you so afraid of
that pathetic tub of lard?
30
00:07:44,583 --> 00:07:47,525
Whoa!
31
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,608
How could you do this to me?
32
00:08:08,708 --> 00:08:10,650
I knew this was gonna happen.
33
00:08:10,750 --> 00:08:13,317
You're right, Bob. I'm sorry.
34
00:08:13,417 --> 00:08:14,733
What can I say?
35
00:08:14,833 --> 00:08:17,567
I'm a miserable,
worthless hunk of slime.
36
00:08:17,667 --> 00:08:19,567
Here.
37
00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:21,859
I want you to take
this crowbar and...
38
00:08:21,959 --> 00:08:23,692
just bash my head right in!
39
00:08:23,792 --> 00:08:26,608
Go ahead, really. Please.
Just bash it right in!
40
00:08:26,708 --> 00:08:28,650
George, you know I couldn't do that.
41
00:08:28,750 --> 00:08:30,401
You still owe me five bucks.
42
00:08:35,209 --> 00:08:36,525
Hey, Kuni.
43
00:08:36,625 --> 00:08:38,192
Hiya, George.
44
00:08:38,292 --> 00:08:39,650
Beginner's class today, huh?
45
00:08:39,750 --> 00:08:43,067
Yeah. They're so stupid!
46
00:08:43,167 --> 00:08:45,107
Oh!
47
00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:49,149
Stupid!
48
00:08:59,917 --> 00:09:02,567
Boy!
49
00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,900
Look what I got here, Bob.
50
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,817
A twinkie-wiener sandwich!
51
00:09:07,917 --> 00:09:09,442
Your favorite.
52
00:09:14,459 --> 00:09:16,900
Come on, Bob. Cheer up, will you?
53
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:19,066
You ruined my life.
54
00:09:24,376 --> 00:09:26,025
You know, Bob-o,
55
00:09:26,125 --> 00:09:28,733
I think you're developing
a bad attitude here.
56
00:09:31,708 --> 00:09:35,733
You see, Bob... you gotta
look at the big picture.
57
00:09:35,833 --> 00:09:38,276
You gotta grab life by the lips
58
00:09:38,376 --> 00:09:40,025
and yank as hard as you can!
59
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,608
See anything in the want ads?
60
00:09:45,708 --> 00:09:49,484
Yeah. But nothing with the prestige
of working at Burger World.
61
00:09:49,583 --> 00:09:52,608
So what do you think Teri's gonna say
when she hears you got fired again?
62
00:09:52,708 --> 00:09:55,857
Teri? Oh, no. What time is it?
63
00:09:57,250 --> 00:10:00,733
7:30? Oh boy, I gotta go.
I'll see you later, Bob.
64
00:10:00,833 --> 00:10:03,483
Stupid!
65
00:10:04,334 --> 00:10:06,741
So, what's your excuse this time?
66
00:10:07,241 --> 00:10:09,650
Well, Bob and I were having
67
00:10:09,750 --> 00:10:13,276
a serious discussion about
our various career options.
68
00:10:13,376 --> 00:10:15,276
Boy, I really like what
you've done with your hair.
69
00:10:15,376 --> 00:10:19,149
- It's really...
- George, did you get fired again?
70
00:10:20,167 --> 00:10:22,692
Yes! Yes! It's all true!
71
00:10:22,792 --> 00:10:27,066
I just don't know
what's wrong with me!
72
00:10:27,750 --> 00:10:29,399
So, what's for dinner?
73
00:10:30,209 --> 00:10:32,567
Mashed potatoes? My favorite!
74
00:10:32,667 --> 00:10:34,650
Teri, you shouldn't have.
75
00:10:34,750 --> 00:10:37,150
George!
76
00:10:37,250 --> 00:10:41,150
When are you gonna start taking
things a little more seriously?
77
00:10:41,250 --> 00:10:43,608
I mean, you've been
wandering aimlessly
78
00:10:43,708 --> 00:10:46,859
from job to job ever
since I've known you.
79
00:10:46,959 --> 00:10:50,109
If you could just get that
overactive imagination of yours
80
00:10:50,209 --> 00:10:54,070
to work for you instead of
against you, maybe you could...
81
00:10:57,167 --> 00:10:58,984
What are you doing?
82
00:10:59,084 --> 00:11:02,815
This means something.
This is important.
83
00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:13,565
Oh, George, that is just terrible.
84
00:11:14,209 --> 00:11:16,317
But don't you worry,
85
00:11:16,417 --> 00:11:18,317
you're a fine young man.
86
00:11:18,417 --> 00:11:20,984
I'm sure you'll get
another job right away.
87
00:11:21,084 --> 00:11:23,608
You got such a good face.
88
00:11:23,708 --> 00:11:25,359
Look at this face.
89
00:11:25,459 --> 00:11:27,733
Would you look at this face?
90
00:11:27,833 --> 00:11:29,900
Is this a face you could die for?
91
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:35,067
So, where's Uncle Harvey?
I haven't seen him all night.
92
00:11:35,167 --> 00:11:36,650
Oh, he'll be out soon.
93
00:11:36,750 --> 00:11:40,441
I think he's having some sort of
last-minute business meeting.
94
00:11:41,209 --> 00:11:44,317
Two pair, aces high.
95
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,401
Yeah, what?
96
00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:51,900
Hey, Louie.
97
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:55,234
I just wanted to congratulate you,
Mr. Bilchik.
98
00:11:55,334 --> 00:11:58,525
You did very well at the
track this afternoon.
99
00:11:58,625 --> 00:12:00,567
Oh, yeah? I won again, huh?
100
00:12:00,667 --> 00:12:02,982
Right. Yeah. Thanks, Louie. Bye.
101
00:12:04,292 --> 00:12:06,608
Now, what are we doing here?
102
00:12:06,708 --> 00:12:08,648
It's your deal, Harvey.
103
00:12:10,167 --> 00:12:11,984
Oh, hi, honey.
104
00:12:12,084 --> 00:12:13,401
Have you finished your meeting?
105
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,067
Oh, yeah, yeah,
106
00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:17,317
and business was great tonight.
107
00:12:17,417 --> 00:12:20,317
Harvey, have you been gambling again?
108
00:12:20,417 --> 00:12:22,276
Hey! What are you complaining about?
109
00:12:22,376 --> 00:12:26,191
This is for when you go
shopping on Rodeo Drive.
110
00:12:29,084 --> 00:12:30,401
What's this?
111
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:33,276
Oh, that's the deed to Channel 62.
112
00:12:33,376 --> 00:12:35,608
I won it with a pair of sevens.
I was bluffing.
113
00:12:35,708 --> 00:12:37,608
Channel 62?
114
00:12:37,708 --> 00:12:39,401
- Never heard of it.
- I'm not surprised.
115
00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:41,942
More people watch the fish
tank at Leo's pet store.
116
00:12:42,042 --> 00:12:44,692
It's a little UHF station
on the edge of town.
117
00:12:44,792 --> 00:12:46,900
It's been on the brink
of bankruptcy for years.
118
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:50,317
- It's too bad I gotta dump it.
- Oh, really?
119
00:12:50,417 --> 00:12:54,608
I kind of like the idea of us
having our own TV station.
120
00:12:54,708 --> 00:12:56,692
Forget about it.
121
00:12:56,792 --> 00:13:00,525
They can't even find anybody
to manage the place anymore.
122
00:13:00,625 --> 00:13:04,067
Harvey, I know somebody
who'd be perfect for the job.
123
00:13:04,167 --> 00:13:06,024
Oh, yeah? Who's that?
124
00:13:08,125 --> 00:13:11,899
George! George, dear, can you
come over here for a second?
125
00:13:13,792 --> 00:13:15,359
Oh, no.
126
00:13:15,459 --> 00:13:18,358
No, not him. Forget it. No way.
127
00:13:22,541 --> 00:13:24,192
I can't believe your Uncle Harvey's
128
00:13:24,292 --> 00:13:26,650
letting you run his TV station.
129
00:13:26,750 --> 00:13:28,608
Hey, he trusts me.
130
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,150
Besides, he's going to California.
131
00:13:30,250 --> 00:13:32,107
He doesn't want to
be bothered with it.
132
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,607
Well, here we are.
133
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,317
This is it?
134
00:13:48,417 --> 00:13:51,192
Wow, this is even
better than I imagined!
135
00:13:51,292 --> 00:13:54,067
Come on. Let's go check it out.
136
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,484
I don't know, George.
137
00:13:55,583 --> 00:13:57,815
I'm not so sure about this.
138
00:13:59,292 --> 00:14:01,359
See? The front door's open.
139
00:14:01,459 --> 00:14:03,192
It's a friendly place.
140
00:14:03,292 --> 00:14:04,899
Hey, mister!
141
00:14:05,541 --> 00:14:08,484
Change? You got change?
142
00:14:08,583 --> 00:14:11,066
Oh... sure.
143
00:14:13,084 --> 00:14:15,109
85...
144
00:14:15,209 --> 00:14:16,733
95...
145
00:14:16,833 --> 00:14:19,359
one dollar!
146
00:14:19,459 --> 00:14:21,774
Thanks, mister.
147
00:14:31,708 --> 00:14:35,066
Hello. I'm Mr. Ed.
148
00:14:39,250 --> 00:14:41,401
A horse is a horse,
of course, of course
149
00:14:41,500 --> 00:14:43,401
And no one can talk
to a horse, of course
150
00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:45,525
That is, of course, unless the horse
151
00:14:45,625 --> 00:14:47,984
Is the famous Mr. Ed
152
00:14:48,084 --> 00:14:49,900
Go right to the source
and ask the horse
153
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,025
He'll give you the answer
that you'll endorse
154
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:54,401
He's always on a steady course
155
00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:56,650
Talk to Mr. Ed
156
00:14:58,541 --> 00:15:00,234
Can I help you?
157
00:15:00,334 --> 00:15:02,192
Who are you?
158
00:15:02,292 --> 00:15:04,192
I'm Philo.
159
00:15:04,292 --> 00:15:06,024
Chief engineer.
160
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,733
So...
161
00:15:09,833 --> 00:15:12,442
isn't it a little late
for you to be working?
162
00:15:12,541 --> 00:15:14,650
I mean, what time do
you normally go home?
163
00:15:14,750 --> 00:15:18,607
This is my home. I live here.
164
00:15:20,667 --> 00:15:22,857
Hold these.
165
00:15:24,667 --> 00:15:27,565
No, no, like this.
166
00:15:29,376 --> 00:15:31,025
What are you doing?
167
00:15:31,125 --> 00:15:34,650
Oh, I just want to
see if my interociter
168
00:15:34,750 --> 00:15:38,650
can withstand a sudden
charge of 60,000 volts.
169
00:15:38,750 --> 00:15:42,107
What?
170
00:15:49,209 --> 00:15:51,859
Yeah...
171
00:15:51,959 --> 00:15:53,982
it works.
172
00:15:54,792 --> 00:15:56,608
Do do do do
173
00:15:56,708 --> 00:15:58,359
Wee-oo, wee-oo
174
00:15:58,459 --> 00:16:00,525
Do do do do
175
00:16:00,625 --> 00:16:03,150
Do wah do wah...
176
00:16:03,250 --> 00:16:05,942
I don't know about this, George.
I mean, I don't know the first thing
177
00:16:06,042 --> 00:16:07,817
about what goes on at
a television station.
178
00:16:07,917 --> 00:16:10,900
Don't worry, Bob. It's just
like working in a fish market,
179
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,815
except you don't have to
clean and gut fish all day.
180
00:16:26,167 --> 00:16:28,192
Yeah, so? Can I help you?
181
00:16:28,292 --> 00:16:29,942
Hi. I'm George Newman.
182
00:16:30,042 --> 00:16:31,650
I'm the new station manager.
183
00:16:33,334 --> 00:16:35,525
You know, when I first took this job,
184
00:16:35,625 --> 00:16:38,942
they told me that this
position was only temporary
185
00:16:39,042 --> 00:16:41,234
and that eventually,
when the time was right,
186
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:45,150
I would be moved up to news,
which is really my forte.
187
00:16:45,250 --> 00:16:46,859
You know how long I've
been working here?
188
00:16:46,959 --> 00:16:48,442
Two years!
189
00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:50,150
It's kind of hard to get promoted
190
00:16:50,250 --> 00:16:52,692
when every other week
you have a new boss!
191
00:16:52,792 --> 00:16:56,191
This job really sucks.
192
00:16:57,292 --> 00:16:59,109
And this is my friend Bob.
193
00:16:59,209 --> 00:17:00,525
Hi. Nice to meet you.
194
00:17:00,625 --> 00:17:02,484
Howdy, friends. It's Crazy Ernie
195
00:17:02,583 --> 00:17:04,567
from Crazy Ernie's Used Car Emporium.
196
00:17:04,667 --> 00:17:07,109
It's a giant supermarket of cars!
197
00:17:07,209 --> 00:17:09,733
I got so many cars people
come up to me and say,
198
00:17:09,833 --> 00:17:12,817
"Hey, Crazy Ernie,
where'd you get all those cars?"
199
00:17:12,917 --> 00:17:15,984
Lookie here! I got red cars,
I got green cars!
200
00:17:16,084 --> 00:17:18,401
I got enough cars to choke a camel!
201
00:17:18,500 --> 00:17:19,817
Tell you what, friends,
202
00:17:19,917 --> 00:17:22,067
if nobody comes down and buys
a car from me in the next hour,
203
00:17:22,167 --> 00:17:24,692
I'm gonna club this baby seal!
204
00:17:24,792 --> 00:17:28,234
That's right! I'm gonna club
a seal to make a better deal!
205
00:17:28,334 --> 00:17:30,025
You know I'll do it, too,
206
00:17:30,125 --> 00:17:32,984
'cause I'm crazy! Ha ha ha!
207
00:17:33,084 --> 00:17:36,150
Look at all the old reruns
this station is airing.
208
00:17:36,250 --> 00:17:38,650
We could sure use
some more live shows.
209
00:17:38,750 --> 00:17:40,401
I don't know, something like...
210
00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:41,942
Oh, no!
211
00:17:42,042 --> 00:17:43,525
You okay in there, Pam?
212
00:17:43,625 --> 00:17:45,900
Yes. It's just if it's not
one thing, it's another.
213
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,150
You know, that mailman's
really got a screw loose.
214
00:17:48,250 --> 00:17:51,401
He delivers us this package.
It's supposed to go to R.J. Fletcher.
215
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:52,817
Who?
216
00:17:52,917 --> 00:17:55,317
R.J. Fletcher. He runs Channel 8,
217
00:17:55,417 --> 00:17:57,984
you know, the network
affiliate downtown?
218
00:17:58,084 --> 00:18:01,234
Oh, well, I guess I'll just have to
send it back to him tomorrow.
219
00:18:01,334 --> 00:18:04,276
No. That's okay.
I-I'll take it over myself.
220
00:18:04,376 --> 00:18:06,857
It'll be a good chance
to meet the competition.
221
00:18:07,708 --> 00:18:09,401
You know, George, I'll tell you,
222
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:11,234
I don't really think
that's such a good idea.
223
00:18:11,334 --> 00:18:13,775
I heard he's not the
nicest guy in the world.
224
00:18:13,875 --> 00:18:16,984
Oh, come on.
He can't be all that bad.
225
00:18:17,084 --> 00:18:20,067
You just gotta know how
to talk to those guys.
226
00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:23,859
You idiot! Can't you do
anything I tell you to do?
227
00:18:23,959 --> 00:18:26,067
Does this look like a No. 2 pencil?
228
00:18:26,167 --> 00:18:27,984
- No. I just thought...
- You thought?
229
00:18:28,084 --> 00:18:29,692
I don't pay you to think!
230
00:18:29,792 --> 00:18:31,733
- But, Dad...
- Shut up!
231
00:18:31,833 --> 00:18:33,442
Let's get back to the meeting.
232
00:18:33,541 --> 00:18:35,234
All right, who's got
the research report?
233
00:18:35,334 --> 00:18:37,608
I left the report on your desk, sir.
234
00:18:37,708 --> 00:18:40,567
I don't see it.
When did you put it here?
235
00:18:40,667 --> 00:18:41,984
Yesterday before I left, sir.
236
00:18:42,084 --> 00:18:46,317
The janitor. It must
have been the janitor.
237
00:18:46,417 --> 00:18:48,608
He probably threw it out when
he was cleaning up in here.
238
00:18:48,708 --> 00:18:50,608
Send in the janitor.
239
00:18:50,708 --> 00:18:52,650
I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.
240
00:18:52,750 --> 00:18:55,733
I will not tolerate this kind
of behavior at Channel 8.
241
00:18:55,833 --> 00:18:58,317
This is a business, not a home
242
00:18:58,417 --> 00:19:00,775
for irresponsible pus-brains!
243
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:07,150
You wanted to see me, sir?
244
00:19:07,250 --> 00:19:08,817
That's right.
245
00:19:08,917 --> 00:19:10,859
I guess you know why
I called you in here.
246
00:19:10,959 --> 00:19:14,525
Because you're lonely?
247
00:19:14,625 --> 00:19:16,650
No, you moron.
248
00:19:16,750 --> 00:19:18,525
Oh, duh.
249
00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:20,192
Now, look carefully.
250
00:19:20,292 --> 00:19:22,317
Do you see anything
missing from this desk?
251
00:19:24,583 --> 00:19:26,040
That stapler?
252
00:19:26,959 --> 00:19:28,444
No!
253
00:19:30,541 --> 00:19:34,650
Now listen to me. There was a
very important file on this desk,
254
00:19:34,750 --> 00:19:39,025
a file that represented two
months of intensive research.
255
00:19:39,125 --> 00:19:41,984
It's my guess that you threw it out.
256
00:19:42,084 --> 00:19:44,900
Oh, no, sir. No...
257
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:46,775
Were you in here
cleaning up last night?
258
00:19:46,875 --> 00:19:48,733
Yes, sir... yes, sir, I was.
259
00:19:48,833 --> 00:19:51,441
Do you see that file on my desk now?
260
00:19:52,667 --> 00:19:54,608
Gee, I don't know.
261
00:19:54,708 --> 00:19:56,692
I think I've proven my point.
262
00:19:56,792 --> 00:19:59,484
You are a worthless
human being Mr....
263
00:19:59,583 --> 00:20:02,859
Spadowski. Stanley Spadowski.
264
00:20:02,959 --> 00:20:04,984
May I call you Stanley?
265
00:20:05,084 --> 00:20:06,775
Okay.
266
00:20:06,875 --> 00:20:08,984
Stanley, you're fired!
267
00:20:09,084 --> 00:20:10,692
But I... I didn't...
268
00:20:10,792 --> 00:20:12,276
Get out!
269
00:20:12,376 --> 00:20:14,149
But I...
270
00:20:17,084 --> 00:20:18,774
People are...
271
00:20:19,417 --> 00:20:21,692
I can't believe the
incompetence in this place.
272
00:20:21,792 --> 00:20:24,359
People like that should
be put to sleep.
273
00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:33,317
Well, what do you know?
274
00:20:33,417 --> 00:20:35,025
The research file.
275
00:20:35,125 --> 00:20:38,192
Here it is. Been sitting
here all the time.
276
00:20:53,583 --> 00:20:55,692
Betty, hold my calls.
277
00:20:55,792 --> 00:20:57,525
Yes, Mr. Fletcher.
278
00:20:57,625 --> 00:20:59,401
Hey, R.J.!
279
00:21:05,376 --> 00:21:07,859
Hi! George Newman, U-62.
280
00:21:07,959 --> 00:21:10,984
Say, nice place you got here.
281
00:21:11,084 --> 00:21:13,942
You know, I was just thinking,
since we're both in the business...
282
00:21:14,042 --> 00:21:15,401
Where'd you get this?
283
00:21:15,500 --> 00:21:17,567
Do you realize that stealing
mail is a federal offense?
284
00:21:17,667 --> 00:21:19,359
Hold on. You don't understand...
285
00:21:19,459 --> 00:21:21,942
No, you don't understand
how serious a crime this is.
286
00:21:22,042 --> 00:21:24,525
I think you'd just better clear
out your desk and get out.
287
00:21:24,625 --> 00:21:26,525
You're through, mister.
288
00:21:26,625 --> 00:21:28,401
But, I don't work here.
289
00:21:28,500 --> 00:21:31,109
Trespassing, huh?
290
00:21:31,209 --> 00:21:34,234
You've got 10 seconds to get
out before I call the police.
291
00:21:34,334 --> 00:21:36,775
Look, I thought we could...
292
00:21:36,875 --> 00:21:39,025
Five... four...
293
00:21:39,125 --> 00:21:40,608
- three...
- Gee, look at the time.
294
00:21:40,708 --> 00:21:43,359
Well, gotta go.
295
00:21:43,459 --> 00:21:45,358
Keep in touch.
296
00:21:54,583 --> 00:21:57,775
No. No. Please.
It's all I've got left!
297
00:21:57,875 --> 00:21:59,608
Let go. This is station property.
298
00:21:59,708 --> 00:22:01,648
No! No! It's my mop!
299
00:22:02,833 --> 00:22:04,150
Let go!
300
00:22:04,250 --> 00:22:06,274
Let go, you idiot!
301
00:22:07,583 --> 00:22:09,192
That's my mop!
302
00:22:09,292 --> 00:22:10,899
Not any more, buddy!
303
00:22:13,417 --> 00:22:14,733
Hey, are you all right?
304
00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:16,567
It's just not fair.
305
00:22:16,667 --> 00:22:19,025
Come on, forget about it.
It's only a mop.
306
00:22:19,125 --> 00:22:22,317
"Only a mop"? "Only a mop"?
307
00:22:22,417 --> 00:22:24,234
Oh, you don't understand.
308
00:22:24,334 --> 00:22:28,648
That mop was given to me for my
birthday when I was 8 years old.
309
00:22:29,334 --> 00:22:31,565
We've never been apart!
310
00:22:33,541 --> 00:22:35,191
Now...
311
00:22:35,917 --> 00:22:38,358
now I don't even have a job anymore.
312
00:22:39,250 --> 00:22:41,234
After 15 years, they just toss me out
313
00:22:41,334 --> 00:22:44,857
like an old bag of moldy tangerines.
314
00:22:46,959 --> 00:22:49,024
What am I gonna do?
315
00:22:49,667 --> 00:22:52,317
What am I gonna do?
316
00:22:55,192 --> 00:22:58,607
Well... maybe you could
come work for me.
317
00:22:59,376 --> 00:23:00,984
Really? You mean it?
318
00:23:01,084 --> 00:23:04,650
Sure. I guess we could use a janitor.
319
00:23:04,750 --> 00:23:07,109
- Stanley Spadowski.
- George Newman.
320
00:23:07,209 --> 00:23:08,608
I'm mighty glad to meet you, George.
321
00:23:08,708 --> 00:23:10,650
I'm gonna do a really good job.
You won't be sorry.
322
00:23:10,750 --> 00:23:13,484
I'm really gonna do a good job
for you, George. I'm a good janitor.
323
00:23:13,583 --> 00:23:15,109
You want me to clean
your glasses for you?
324
00:23:15,209 --> 00:23:18,025
- No, that's...
- I'll make them real shiny, real shiny.
325
00:23:18,125 --> 00:23:20,523
'cause we're friends, George?
We're friends.
326
00:23:21,250 --> 00:23:23,276
Nope.
327
00:23:23,376 --> 00:23:24,733
Is this it?
328
00:23:24,833 --> 00:23:26,732
Nope.
329
00:23:28,250 --> 00:23:29,859
Is this it?
330
00:23:29,959 --> 00:23:31,899
Nope.
331
00:23:33,376 --> 00:23:35,317
- Is this it?
- No, George.
332
00:23:35,417 --> 00:23:37,359
I can't delay the broadcast
333
00:23:37,459 --> 00:23:40,608
because the mayor is supposed
to be coming out any minute.
334
00:23:40,708 --> 00:23:42,109
Where is he?
335
00:23:42,209 --> 00:23:43,775
No. I've looked all over.
336
00:23:43,875 --> 00:23:47,150
I don't see a Noodles MacIntire.
337
00:23:47,250 --> 00:23:51,067
MacIntosh at your service.
338
00:23:51,167 --> 00:23:53,067
Yeah, George, never mind.
I think I found him.
339
00:23:53,167 --> 00:23:54,815
Come on! Come on!
340
00:24:06,167 --> 00:24:10,817
We go now live to U-62's
Pamela Finklestein
341
00:24:10,917 --> 00:24:13,024
on the steps at City Hall.
342
00:24:14,459 --> 00:24:17,859
Thank you. Hi.
Pamela Finklestein here.
343
00:24:17,959 --> 00:24:19,859
Boy, it's quite a scene this morning
344
00:24:19,959 --> 00:24:21,608
on the front steps of City Hall.
345
00:24:21,708 --> 00:24:23,775
We're awaiting the emergence
of Mayor Thompson
346
00:24:23,875 --> 00:24:26,484
from his annual city budget meeting.
347
00:24:26,583 --> 00:24:29,692
I think he... oh yeah, here comes
the mayor now. Let's go over.
348
00:24:29,792 --> 00:24:31,192
Maybe we can get a
few words out of him.
349
00:24:37,875 --> 00:24:39,690
Oh!
350
00:24:44,750 --> 00:24:48,316
Oh, did I do that?
351
00:24:48,959 --> 00:24:50,565
Oopsie!
352
00:24:51,209 --> 00:24:53,317
Noodles, those things are fragile.
353
00:24:53,417 --> 00:24:55,192
You should be more careful.
354
00:24:55,292 --> 00:24:58,276
Here he is now. I think
that we should be able...
355
00:24:58,376 --> 00:25:02,359
Hey, sweetheart, take my advice.
356
00:25:02,459 --> 00:25:05,775
Broads don't belong in broadcasting.
357
00:25:05,875 --> 00:25:07,192
Mr. Mayor! Mr. Mayor!
358
00:25:07,292 --> 00:25:09,650
Hi. Richard Fletcher. Channel 8 news.
359
00:25:18,708 --> 00:25:20,525
Yeah, but...
360
00:25:20,625 --> 00:25:22,359
yeah, but...
361
00:25:22,459 --> 00:25:24,775
"broads don't belong
in broadcasting"?
362
00:25:24,875 --> 00:25:28,276
Is that the kind of professional
courtesy you teach your news department?
363
00:25:28,376 --> 00:25:30,359
Why, that's just terrible.
364
00:25:30,459 --> 00:25:32,859
I don't know how many times
I've told those boys
365
00:25:32,959 --> 00:25:35,317
never call chicks "broads."
366
00:25:35,417 --> 00:25:38,900
Why, you slimy... oh!
367
00:25:42,959 --> 00:25:45,525
Hello, and welcome to town talk.
368
00:25:45,625 --> 00:25:48,192
I'm George Newman,
and today our special guest
369
00:25:48,292 --> 00:25:51,150
is local high school
shop teacher Joe Earley.
370
00:25:51,250 --> 00:25:52,900
Joe, thanks for joining us.
371
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,276
Thank you, home boy.
372
00:25:55,376 --> 00:25:57,192
Well, I see you've brought
some equipment with you today.
373
00:25:57,292 --> 00:25:59,067
Would you mind giving us
a little demonstration?
374
00:25:59,167 --> 00:26:02,692
Not at all.
375
00:26:02,792 --> 00:26:06,401
There's only a few simple principles
376
00:26:06,500 --> 00:26:08,525
you must bear in mind
377
00:26:08,625 --> 00:26:10,984
before attempting to operate
378
00:26:11,084 --> 00:26:15,940
a sophisticated piece
of machinery like this...
379
00:26:17,376 --> 00:26:18,982
Table saw.
380
00:26:28,959 --> 00:26:31,859
You know, lots of times,
381
00:26:31,959 --> 00:26:34,817
when my students first learn to...
382
00:26:34,917 --> 00:26:36,648
Whoa!
383
00:26:37,792 --> 00:26:39,859
What?
384
00:26:39,959 --> 00:26:41,815
Oh!
385
00:26:43,667 --> 00:26:46,150
Do you believe this?
386
00:26:46,250 --> 00:26:49,775
Oh, will you look at that?
387
00:26:49,875 --> 00:26:51,442
Oh.
388
00:26:51,541 --> 00:26:56,523
Just call me Mr. Butterfingers.
389
00:26:57,417 --> 00:27:01,067
I think it's on the floor...
390
00:27:01,167 --> 00:27:02,817
somewhere.
391
00:27:02,917 --> 00:27:04,608
Oh.
392
00:27:04,708 --> 00:27:09,483
Is my face red! Oh.
393
00:27:10,667 --> 00:27:13,483
Honey, where's the spatula?
394
00:27:14,417 --> 00:27:16,523
Okay, kids, let's go.
395
00:27:18,959 --> 00:27:20,817
There's just one place to go
396
00:27:20,917 --> 00:27:22,484
for all your spatula needs.
397
00:27:22,583 --> 00:27:24,525
Spatula City! Spatula City!
398
00:27:24,625 --> 00:27:27,650
A giant warehouse of
spatulas for every occasion.
399
00:27:27,750 --> 00:27:30,650
Thousands to choose from in
every shape, size, and color.
400
00:27:30,750 --> 00:27:32,401
And because we eliminate
the middleman,
401
00:27:32,500 --> 00:27:35,317
we can sell all our spatulas
factory-direct to you.
402
00:27:35,417 --> 00:27:38,025
Where do you go when you wanna
buy name-brand spatulas
403
00:27:38,125 --> 00:27:39,733
at a fraction of retail cost?
404
00:27:39,833 --> 00:27:41,567
Spatula City! Spatula City!
405
00:27:41,667 --> 00:27:45,317
And, this weekend only, take advantage
of our special liquidation sale.
406
00:27:45,417 --> 00:27:49,607
Buy 9 spatulas, get the 10th
one for just one penny.
407
00:27:51,167 --> 00:27:54,192
Don't forget, they make
great Christmas presents.
408
00:27:54,292 --> 00:27:57,150
And what better way
to say "I love you"
409
00:27:57,250 --> 00:27:59,733
than with the gift of a spatula?
410
00:27:59,833 --> 00:28:02,109
Spatula City! Spatula City!
411
00:28:02,209 --> 00:28:06,150
Hello. This is Sy Greenblum,
president of Spatula City.
412
00:28:06,250 --> 00:28:09,942
I liked their spatulas so much,
I bought the company.
413
00:28:10,042 --> 00:28:12,317
Spatula City! Seven locations!
414
00:28:12,417 --> 00:28:14,942
We're in the yellow
pages under "spatulas."
415
00:28:15,042 --> 00:28:18,982
My! Where did you get
that lovely spatula?
416
00:28:19,917 --> 00:28:22,692
Spatula city, we sell spatulas
417
00:28:22,792 --> 00:28:24,733
And that's all
418
00:28:33,959 --> 00:28:36,234
Hey, kids, where do you want to go?
419
00:28:36,334 --> 00:28:40,650
To Uncle Nutzy's clubhouse.
420
00:28:40,750 --> 00:28:43,317
That's right! I'm your Uncle Nutzy,
421
00:28:43,417 --> 00:28:48,694
and, boy, oh, boy are we gonna have
some big fun today. Huh, kids?
422
00:28:50,792 --> 00:28:54,984
Well, let's walk on over and see
who's in our Kiddie Corner.
423
00:28:55,084 --> 00:28:58,192
- Hi. What's your name?
- Billy.
424
00:28:58,292 --> 00:28:59,934
Billy what?
425
00:29:01,333 --> 00:29:02,751
Okay.
426
00:29:05,049 --> 00:29:08,034
You know who that is? That's right.
427
00:29:08,134 --> 00:29:13,608
It's your pal, Bob-o the Clown! Yay!
428
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:23,525
Hey, Bob-o, wanna play a game?
Okay, look up. Look down.
429
00:29:23,625 --> 00:29:25,732
Now look at Mr. Frying Pan.
430
00:29:27,541 --> 00:29:30,401
Bob-o fall down, go boom.
431
00:29:30,500 --> 00:29:33,692
Upsie-daisy.
432
00:29:33,792 --> 00:29:36,109
Say, Bob-o, what's wrong?
433
00:29:36,209 --> 00:29:39,633
Oh, I bet I know.
You're hungry, aren't you?
434
00:29:40,333 --> 00:29:42,359
Well, I know just what you want.
435
00:29:42,459 --> 00:29:48,150
Clowns and kids alike can't resist the
mouth-watering, lip-smacking taste
436
00:29:48,250 --> 00:29:51,775
of Mrs. Hockenburger's
Butter Cookies.
437
00:29:51,875 --> 00:29:53,650
Right, Bob-o?
438
00:29:53,750 --> 00:29:55,150
That's right!
439
00:29:55,250 --> 00:29:56,567
And, hey, Mom,
440
00:29:56,667 --> 00:29:58,525
they're nutritious, too!
441
00:29:58,625 --> 00:30:01,274
Just look at how much
Bob-o here likes them.
442
00:30:01,917 --> 00:30:04,525
That's good.
443
00:30:04,625 --> 00:30:06,067
And don't forget, kids,
444
00:30:06,167 --> 00:30:07,692
there's a nifty surprise
445
00:30:07,792 --> 00:30:11,690
inside every box of
Mrs. Hockenburger's...
446
00:30:15,541 --> 00:30:19,692
Bob-o's been eating
Yappy's Dog Treats.
447
00:30:19,792 --> 00:30:22,733
That's right, Yappy's Dog Treats.
448
00:30:22,833 --> 00:30:25,650
Your dog will love that real
liver and tuna taste...
449
00:30:27,292 --> 00:30:29,648
with just a hint of cheese.
450
00:30:33,334 --> 00:30:35,401
Hi. Pamela Finklestein here,
451
00:30:35,500 --> 00:30:38,150
coming to you with an interview
with Mr. Earl Ramsey.
452
00:30:38,250 --> 00:30:41,608
Now, Mr. Ramsey is the
president of the local chapter
453
00:30:41,708 --> 00:30:43,733
of the American Gun Association.
454
00:30:43,833 --> 00:30:47,192
Mr. Ramsey, is it correct to assume
455
00:30:47,292 --> 00:30:50,234
that your organization
is against gun control?
456
00:30:50,334 --> 00:30:54,484
Gun control is for wimps and Commies.
457
00:30:54,583 --> 00:30:56,899
Listen, let's get one thing straight.
458
00:30:57,667 --> 00:30:59,690
Guns don't kill people.
459
00:31:00,376 --> 00:31:03,484
- I do.
- Yes, well...
460
00:31:03,583 --> 00:31:07,109
This is a special bulletin
from the U-62 news room.
461
00:31:07,209 --> 00:31:09,150
Hi, Teri. It's George.
462
00:31:09,250 --> 00:31:10,900
Happy Birthday.
463
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:13,775
Hey, how about if I take you
and your folks out to dinner?
464
00:31:13,875 --> 00:31:16,567
I'll meet you at Cafe
Francais at 7:30, okay?
465
00:31:16,667 --> 00:31:18,726
I love you.
466
00:31:21,541 --> 00:31:25,025
Are you tired of sloppy,
cut-rate funerals?
467
00:31:25,125 --> 00:31:28,401
You've tried the rest.
Now try the best.
468
00:31:28,500 --> 00:31:31,317
The Plots-R-Us Mortuary Service.
469
00:31:31,417 --> 00:31:34,317
Remember, there's always
plenty of free parking,
470
00:31:34,417 --> 00:31:36,984
and don't forget to visit
our new salad bar.
471
00:31:37,084 --> 00:31:38,859
Plots-R-Us,
472
00:31:38,959 --> 00:31:42,441
eternal peace at affordable prices.
473
00:31:43,084 --> 00:31:45,525
Dad-blamed Beverly Hills.
474
00:31:45,625 --> 00:31:48,442
There ain't a possum shank to be
bought around here at any price.
475
00:31:48,541 --> 00:31:51,984
What good is having $68,000,000?
476
00:31:52,084 --> 00:31:54,067
I ask you!
477
00:31:54,167 --> 00:31:57,942
Well, this morning is good for getting a
lot of papers signed for Mr. Drysdale.
478
00:31:58,042 --> 00:32:00,025
You was doing that
when I left here...
479
00:32:58,541 --> 00:32:59,859
Huh.
480
00:32:59,959 --> 00:33:01,775
Now, lookie here, people
481
00:33:01,875 --> 00:33:04,192
Listen to my story
482
00:33:04,292 --> 00:33:07,067
A little story about a man named Jed
483
00:33:07,167 --> 00:33:08,817
You know something
484
00:33:08,917 --> 00:33:10,650
That poor mountaineer
485
00:33:10,750 --> 00:33:14,025
They say he barely
kept his family fed
486
00:33:14,125 --> 00:33:15,650
Now, let me tell you
487
00:33:15,750 --> 00:33:18,025
One day he was shooting
488
00:33:18,125 --> 00:33:20,525
Old Jed was shooting at some food
489
00:33:20,625 --> 00:33:22,401
When all of a sudden
490
00:33:22,500 --> 00:33:25,109
Right up from the ground there
491
00:33:25,209 --> 00:33:27,733
Well, there came a bubbling crude
492
00:33:27,833 --> 00:33:29,150
Oil, that is
493
00:33:29,250 --> 00:33:31,650
Well, maybe you call it
494
00:33:31,750 --> 00:33:34,775
Black gold or the Texas tea
495
00:33:34,875 --> 00:33:38,150
He gonna move next
to Mr. Drysdale
496
00:33:38,250 --> 00:33:42,232
And be a Beverly hillbilly
497
00:33:44,917 --> 00:33:46,401
Before you know it
498
00:33:46,500 --> 00:33:48,859
All the kinfolk are a-sayin'
499
00:33:48,959 --> 00:33:52,109
"Yeah, buddy, move away from there"
500
00:33:52,209 --> 00:33:55,442
That little Clampett got
his own cement pond
501
00:33:55,541 --> 00:33:58,608
That little Clampett,
he's a millionaire
502
00:33:58,708 --> 00:34:00,442
Now, everyone said
503
00:34:00,541 --> 00:34:05,650
"Californy is the place
that you ought to be"
504
00:34:05,750 --> 00:34:08,984
We got to load up
this here truck, now
505
00:34:09,084 --> 00:34:12,815
We got to move to Beverly...
506
00:34:14,292 --> 00:34:16,316
Hills, that is
507
00:34:18,250 --> 00:34:20,274
Swimming pools
508
00:34:21,792 --> 00:34:24,690
Move-a move-a movie stars
509
00:34:26,209 --> 00:34:28,234
Huh
510
00:34:28,334 --> 00:34:29,900
Look at that, look at that
511
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:31,775
Beverly
512
00:34:31,875 --> 00:34:33,359
Beverly
513
00:34:33,459 --> 00:34:35,733
"Beverly Hillbillies"
514
00:34:35,833 --> 00:34:37,608
Y'all come back, now, hear?
515
00:34:37,708 --> 00:34:40,442
Beverly, Beverly
516
00:34:40,541 --> 00:34:43,900
"Beverly Hillbillies"
517
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:45,317
Beverly
518
00:34:45,417 --> 00:34:47,025
Beverly
519
00:34:47,125 --> 00:34:48,982
Beverly...
520
00:34:54,376 --> 00:34:56,024
George?
521
00:34:56,667 --> 00:34:58,441
Hey, George.
522
00:34:59,417 --> 00:35:02,150
I finished polishing
all the doorknobs.
523
00:35:02,250 --> 00:35:03,733
Is there anything else
you want me to do?
524
00:35:03,833 --> 00:35:05,859
No, Stanley. That's okay.
525
00:35:05,959 --> 00:35:08,650
It's getting pretty late.
Why don't you call it a night?
526
00:35:08,750 --> 00:35:11,608
Oh... do I have to?
527
00:35:11,708 --> 00:35:14,650
Yeah. Go on.
I'll see you in the morning.
528
00:35:14,750 --> 00:35:18,066
Okay. I'll see you.
529
00:35:20,459 --> 00:35:23,025
George, you know,
I was wondering, like...
530
00:35:23,125 --> 00:35:24,484
like, if you were traveling
through outer space,
531
00:35:24,583 --> 00:35:26,608
I mean, like, you're going real fast,
like the speed of light,
532
00:35:26,708 --> 00:35:29,484
you know, and all of a sudden,
you started screaming,
533
00:35:31,376 --> 00:35:34,025
Do you think that your
brain would blow up?
534
00:35:34,125 --> 00:35:37,234
Guys, I'm trying to work.
Do you mind?
535
00:35:37,334 --> 00:35:42,399
No, I... I don't mind.
Go... go right ahead.
536
00:35:43,459 --> 00:35:45,940
Do you mind, George?
537
00:35:49,500 --> 00:35:51,067
Would you care to order now?
538
00:35:51,167 --> 00:35:53,567
Oh, yeah. I think we'll have the...
539
00:35:53,667 --> 00:35:56,024
No, thank you. We'll wait.
540
00:35:58,209 --> 00:36:01,483
Are you sure he knows
what restaurant we're at?
541
00:36:11,708 --> 00:36:14,859
Well, I've got some good
news and some bad news.
542
00:36:14,959 --> 00:36:17,359
Okay, give me the bad news first.
543
00:36:17,459 --> 00:36:21,442
Well, given our present
financial situation,
544
00:36:21,541 --> 00:36:23,942
compounded by ongoing fixed expenses
545
00:36:24,042 --> 00:36:26,359
and outstanding invoices,
546
00:36:26,459 --> 00:36:30,358
I figure this station will be flat
broke by the end of the week.
547
00:36:34,667 --> 00:36:36,358
What's the good news?
548
00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:40,024
I lied. There is no good news.
549
00:36:44,417 --> 00:36:46,648
I never should have taken this job.
550
00:36:48,792 --> 00:36:51,565
I should have known it would
turn out like all the others.
551
00:36:54,459 --> 00:36:56,317
You know, for a short time there,
552
00:36:56,417 --> 00:36:58,815
I really thought this
was gonna be different.
553
00:36:59,917 --> 00:37:02,232
I just don't know anymore.
554
00:37:06,541 --> 00:37:09,732
Well, at least I've still got Teri.
555
00:37:13,209 --> 00:37:15,567
- What time is it?
- 9:30.
556
00:37:15,667 --> 00:37:17,285
Oh, no!
557
00:37:23,875 --> 00:37:25,484
Hello?
558
00:37:25,583 --> 00:37:27,984
George Newman? You are a selfish,
559
00:37:28,084 --> 00:37:31,025
thoughtless, insensitive creep,
560
00:37:31,125 --> 00:37:34,276
and from now on, you can
forget all my birthdays
561
00:37:34,376 --> 00:37:36,648
because we're through.
562
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:54,565
Hey, kids, where do you want to go?
563
00:37:55,875 --> 00:38:00,316
That's right, to Uncle
Nutzy's Clubhouse.
564
00:38:01,334 --> 00:38:02,817
And, boy, oh, boy,
565
00:38:02,917 --> 00:38:06,525
are we gonna have big fun today.
566
00:38:06,625 --> 00:38:09,274
We're gonna have so much fun,
567
00:38:10,833 --> 00:38:13,359
we'll forget about
how miserable we are
568
00:38:13,459 --> 00:38:16,276
and how much life sucks
569
00:38:16,376 --> 00:38:19,775
and how we're all gonna
grow old and die someday.
570
00:38:19,875 --> 00:38:22,815
- I wanna go home.
- Shut up, you little weasel.
571
00:38:24,417 --> 00:38:26,359
Okay.
572
00:38:26,459 --> 00:38:30,817
Right now I'd like to show you
one of my favorite cartoons.
573
00:38:30,917 --> 00:38:35,648
It's a sad, depressing story
about a pathetic coyote
574
00:38:36,292 --> 00:38:38,900
who spends every waking
moment of his life
575
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:42,567
in the futile pursuit of
a sadistic roadrunner...
576
00:38:42,667 --> 00:38:45,025
who mocks him and laughs at him
577
00:38:45,125 --> 00:38:48,565
as he is repeatedly
crushed and maimed!
578
00:38:49,334 --> 00:38:51,648
Hope you enjoy it!
579
00:38:53,959 --> 00:38:56,317
Hey, where are you going?
580
00:38:56,417 --> 00:38:58,234
- I need a drink.
- You don't drink.
581
00:38:58,334 --> 00:39:00,525
Yeah, but I've been meaning to start.
582
00:39:00,625 --> 00:39:02,650
Wait a minute.
583
00:39:02,750 --> 00:39:04,442
What about the rest of the show?
584
00:39:04,541 --> 00:39:08,650
Watch out, Mr. Coyote!
Oh, that's terrible.
585
00:39:08,750 --> 00:39:10,692
Hey, Stanley.
586
00:39:10,792 --> 00:39:12,109
Yeah, George?
587
00:39:12,209 --> 00:39:14,149
How would you like your own TV Show?
588
00:39:15,084 --> 00:39:16,567
Okay.
589
00:39:16,667 --> 00:39:18,484
You're on.
590
00:39:18,583 --> 00:39:21,565
What are you doing? Are you crazy?
591
00:39:24,376 --> 00:39:26,815
What?
592
00:39:34,250 --> 00:39:37,150
- But, George, what about...
- Bob, it doesn't matter anymore.
593
00:39:37,250 --> 00:39:39,608
It's over.
594
00:39:39,708 --> 00:39:41,317
Yeah. We're watching it, too.
595
00:39:41,417 --> 00:39:43,608
Yeah. I've never seen
anything like it.
596
00:39:43,708 --> 00:39:45,565
Okay, I'll call you later.
597
00:39:47,084 --> 00:39:48,942
Gentlemen, what can I get you?
598
00:39:49,042 --> 00:39:50,608
Beer.
599
00:39:50,708 --> 00:39:52,774
Blueberry daiquiri.
600
00:39:55,750 --> 00:39:58,234
I'll tell you what, George.
Let's start fresh.
601
00:39:58,334 --> 00:39:59,775
Start a whole new business.
602
00:39:59,875 --> 00:40:01,859
Maybe we can borrow some money
from your Uncle Harvey.
603
00:40:01,959 --> 00:40:03,484
Oh, right.
604
00:40:03,583 --> 00:40:05,900
We just flushed his TV
station down the toilet.
605
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,358
I'm sure he'd be happy
to lend us money.
606
00:40:10,667 --> 00:40:13,565
So I guess Teri's never going
to speak to you again, huh?
607
00:40:18,667 --> 00:40:20,192
Hey, I didn't get an umbrella.
608
00:40:20,292 --> 00:40:23,191
Look everybody! He's coming back on!
609
00:40:24,583 --> 00:40:28,150
Hey, welcome back to "Stanley
Spadowski's Clubhouse."
610
00:40:28,250 --> 00:40:29,817
Are you kids having a good time?
611
00:40:29,917 --> 00:40:31,775
Yeah!
612
00:40:31,875 --> 00:40:34,817
Hey, how about that cartoon?
That was a weird cartoon, wasn't it?
613
00:40:34,917 --> 00:40:38,692
You know, that cartoon, it reminds
me of a dream I had last week.
614
00:40:38,792 --> 00:40:41,900
I turned into a bird
with a candy-bar head.
615
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:43,317
And there were these
other birds, you know,
616
00:40:43,417 --> 00:40:46,192
they were all trying to eat my head and
everything, but I got away from them.
617
00:40:46,292 --> 00:40:47,650
Then there was this tree, you know,
618
00:40:47,750 --> 00:40:49,317
and there was this weird
lizard, you know...
619
00:40:49,417 --> 00:40:51,025
what the...
620
00:40:51,125 --> 00:40:52,608
ooh!
621
00:40:52,708 --> 00:40:54,025
Oh.
622
00:40:54,125 --> 00:40:55,608
Whoa!
623
00:40:55,708 --> 00:40:57,150
Whoa!
624
00:40:57,250 --> 00:40:58,567
Oh!
625
00:40:58,667 --> 00:41:01,234
I wa... I wanna show you something...
626
00:41:01,334 --> 00:41:03,483
I want to show you something.
627
00:41:10,376 --> 00:41:12,442
This is my new mop.
628
00:41:12,541 --> 00:41:15,401
George, my friend,
he gave me this mop.
629
00:41:15,500 --> 00:41:18,650
It's a pretty good mop.
It's not as good as my first mop.
630
00:41:18,750 --> 00:41:22,650
I miss my first mop,
but this is still a good mop.
631
00:41:22,750 --> 00:41:25,359
Sometimes you just have to
take what life gives you
632
00:41:25,459 --> 00:41:28,317
'cause life is like a mop,
633
00:41:28,417 --> 00:41:32,234
and sometimes life gets
full of dirt and crud
634
00:41:32,334 --> 00:41:34,859
and bugs and hairballs and stuff.
635
00:41:34,959 --> 00:41:36,942
You... you... you gotta clean it out.
636
00:41:37,042 --> 00:41:39,942
You... you gotta put it
in here and rinse it off
637
00:41:40,042 --> 00:41:41,942
and start all over again and...
638
00:41:42,042 --> 00:41:45,650
and sometimes, sometimes life
sticks to the floor so bad,
639
00:41:45,750 --> 00:41:47,067
you know, a mop... a mop,
640
00:41:47,167 --> 00:41:48,484
it's not good enough...
it's not good enough.
641
00:41:48,583 --> 00:41:50,733
You... you gotta get down there,
like, with a toothbrush, you know,
642
00:41:50,833 --> 00:41:52,567
and you gotta...
you gotta really scrub.
643
00:41:52,667 --> 00:41:55,817
You gotta get it off!
You gotta really try to get it off.
644
00:41:55,917 --> 00:41:59,359
But if that doesn't work, if that
doesn't work, you can't give up.
645
00:41:59,459 --> 00:42:00,942
You gotta... you gotta
stand right up,
646
00:42:01,042 --> 00:42:03,442
you gotta run to a window, and say,
647
00:42:03,541 --> 00:42:06,359
"Hey! These floors are dirty as hell
648
00:42:06,459 --> 00:42:08,692
and I'm not gonna take it anymore!"
649
00:42:08,792 --> 00:42:15,232
- Yeah!
- His truth is marching on.
650
00:42:16,541 --> 00:42:21,067
Yes, ma'am. That's right.
Stanley Spadowski.
651
00:42:21,167 --> 00:42:24,276
I don't think that he's married, no.
652
00:42:24,376 --> 00:42:26,733
Well, I think that he
went to Harvard.
653
00:42:28,959 --> 00:42:30,859
I'll see you kids later.
654
00:42:30,959 --> 00:42:34,733
Hi, George. Well,
I finished with the TV show.
655
00:42:34,833 --> 00:42:36,733
What do you want me to do now?
656
00:42:36,833 --> 00:42:38,276
Did you have a good
time in there, Stanley?
657
00:42:38,376 --> 00:42:40,401
Yeah! Oh, boy, it was fun.
658
00:42:40,500 --> 00:42:42,984
Great! How'd you like
to do it every day?
659
00:42:43,084 --> 00:42:44,650
Yeah! That would be nea...
660
00:42:44,750 --> 00:42:47,775
wait a minute.
661
00:42:47,875 --> 00:42:50,109
Do I still get to be the janitor?
662
00:42:50,209 --> 00:42:52,359
Sure.
663
00:42:52,459 --> 00:42:56,359
Oh, okay. It's a deal.
664
00:42:56,459 --> 00:42:58,940
Well, I'm gonna go
clean the bathroom.
665
00:43:03,667 --> 00:43:06,900
Okay, kids, where do you want to go?
666
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:11,359
To "Stanley Spadowski's Clubhouse"!
667
00:43:11,459 --> 00:43:12,775
Yay!
668
00:43:17,376 --> 00:43:19,650
Great.
669
00:43:19,750 --> 00:43:22,234
All right, it's a deal. Thanks a lot.
670
00:43:22,334 --> 00:43:24,733
Okay, talk to you later.
671
00:43:24,833 --> 00:43:26,276
George, wait till you hear this.
672
00:43:26,376 --> 00:43:28,859
"Stanley Spadowski's
Clubhouse" is sold out
673
00:43:28,959 --> 00:43:30,276
for the next three months.
674
00:43:30,376 --> 00:43:32,817
The sponsors love him.
675
00:43:32,917 --> 00:43:34,859
You know, if we had a
few more shows like this,
676
00:43:34,959 --> 00:43:36,817
we'd really be in business.
677
00:43:36,917 --> 00:43:38,401
Yeah, I've been thinking about that.
678
00:43:38,500 --> 00:43:40,276
I've been working on some new ideas.
679
00:43:40,376 --> 00:43:42,316
Tell me what you think.
680
00:43:45,959 --> 00:43:48,859
Today, one of these lucky contestants
681
00:43:48,959 --> 00:43:51,401
will win his or her weight in fish
682
00:43:51,500 --> 00:43:52,859
right here on...
683
00:43:52,959 --> 00:43:55,109
"Wheel of Fish"!
684
00:43:58,667 --> 00:44:01,359
Okay, let's play the game.
685
00:44:01,459 --> 00:44:03,442
We'll start with yesterday's winner,
686
00:44:03,541 --> 00:44:05,109
Miss Phyllis Weaver.
687
00:44:06,667 --> 00:44:08,192
Are you ready, Weaver?
688
00:44:08,292 --> 00:44:10,109
I sure am, Kuni.
689
00:44:10,209 --> 00:44:13,107
Okay, you get over there
and spin the Wheel of Fish.
690
00:44:15,917 --> 00:44:17,401
Go ahead.
691
00:44:17,500 --> 00:44:19,608
Give it a big spin!
692
00:44:23,667 --> 00:44:25,276
Come on, big fish!
693
00:44:25,376 --> 00:44:27,774
Come to Mama! Come on!
694
00:44:29,583 --> 00:44:31,692
Oh...
695
00:44:31,792 --> 00:44:34,109
a red snapper.
696
00:44:34,209 --> 00:44:37,984
Very tasty.
697
00:44:38,084 --> 00:44:40,942
Okay, Weaver, listen carefully.
698
00:44:41,042 --> 00:44:43,900
You can hold onto your red snapper
699
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:45,942
or you can go for what's in the box
700
00:44:46,042 --> 00:44:48,484
that Hiro-san is bringing
down the aisle right now!
701
00:44:48,583 --> 00:44:51,107
What's it gonna be?
702
00:44:52,792 --> 00:44:54,648
Box! Fish!
703
00:44:59,875 --> 00:45:02,067
I'll take the box! The box!
704
00:45:02,167 --> 00:45:04,984
You took the box!
705
00:45:05,084 --> 00:45:07,984
Let's see what's in the box!
706
00:45:12,292 --> 00:45:13,942
Nothing!
707
00:45:14,042 --> 00:45:16,650
Absolutely nothing!
708
00:45:16,750 --> 00:45:21,484
Stupid! You're so stupid!
709
00:45:33,959 --> 00:45:35,276
Hello.
710
00:45:35,376 --> 00:45:37,150
My name is Philo,
711
00:45:37,250 --> 00:45:39,232
and welcome to...
712
00:45:44,376 --> 00:45:48,690
"Secrets of the Universe."
713
00:45:50,334 --> 00:45:54,567
Today we are going to
learn to make plutonium
714
00:45:54,667 --> 00:45:57,066
from common household items.
715
00:45:57,959 --> 00:46:00,317
Hey, man. This is Raul Hernandez,
716
00:46:00,417 --> 00:46:03,359
and welcome to...
Raul's Wild Kingdom,
717
00:46:03,459 --> 00:46:06,525
coming to you live from my apartment.
718
00:46:06,625 --> 00:46:07,942
How about that, huh?
719
00:46:08,042 --> 00:46:10,025
Okay, first thing
we're gonna do today
720
00:46:10,125 --> 00:46:12,484
is check out the wonderful
world of turtles.
721
00:46:15,084 --> 00:46:16,484
This is my friend Tommy.
722
00:46:16,583 --> 00:46:18,859
Tommy, say hello to the nice people.
723
00:46:18,959 --> 00:46:20,900
Hello. Ha! Isn't he great, huh?
724
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:24,442
Okay, so, the turtle is a
member of the reptile family,
725
00:46:24,541 --> 00:46:26,984
and he's got this hard,
protective shell
726
00:46:27,084 --> 00:46:29,025
which keeps predators away,
727
00:46:29,125 --> 00:46:31,525
also provides him with his
own home when he sleeps.
728
00:46:31,625 --> 00:46:34,442
Oh, and he's got these
tiny, teeny little legs
729
00:46:34,541 --> 00:46:37,149
which makes him move real slow.
730
00:46:37,917 --> 00:46:39,817
And not too many people know this,
731
00:46:39,917 --> 00:46:45,526
but the turtle is also nature's
suction cup. Watch this.
732
00:46:46,625 --> 00:46:49,234
Did you see that? It sticks! Ha!
733
00:46:49,334 --> 00:46:51,359
Okay. Oh yeah.
What else I got for you?
734
00:46:51,459 --> 00:46:53,817
Yeah, check this out.
735
00:46:53,917 --> 00:46:57,150
This is my ant farm.
Now, ants are amazing.
736
00:46:57,250 --> 00:47:00,359
They can carry 50 times
their own weight,
737
00:47:00,459 --> 00:47:02,359
and they work for weeks and weeks
738
00:47:02,459 --> 00:47:05,025
building these intricate
little tunnels.
739
00:47:05,125 --> 00:47:09,066
And, oh, yeah, they hate
it when you do this.
740
00:47:11,125 --> 00:47:13,150
Oh, look!
741
00:47:13,250 --> 00:47:15,732
They're really mad now.
742
00:47:16,376 --> 00:47:18,984
Where did you find this guy?
743
00:47:19,084 --> 00:47:22,067
Me? I thought you hired him.
744
00:47:22,167 --> 00:47:23,817
For those of you just joining us,
745
00:47:23,917 --> 00:47:26,442
today we're teaching
poodles how to fly.
746
00:47:26,541 --> 00:47:28,442
Come here, come here, Foofie.
747
00:47:28,541 --> 00:47:31,733
Foofie, are you psyched?
748
00:47:31,833 --> 00:47:34,234
Are you ready? Okay.
749
00:47:34,334 --> 00:47:36,067
Here we go.
750
00:47:36,167 --> 00:47:39,941
Get ready and fly!
751
00:47:41,158 --> 00:47:43,207
Oh, man.
752
00:47:45,459 --> 00:47:47,900
You know, sometimes it
takes them a little longer
753
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:49,608
to learn how to do it right.
754
00:47:49,708 --> 00:47:51,484
Okay, come on, come on,
come on, shut up, shut up.
755
00:47:51,583 --> 00:47:54,317
Hey, hey. Who's next? Gigi.
756
00:47:57,208 --> 00:47:59,234
Oh, man!
757
00:48:01,334 --> 00:48:03,984
Hi. This is Teri.
I'm not home right now,
758
00:48:04,084 --> 00:48:07,359
so leave a message and I'll get
back to you as soon as I can.
759
00:48:07,958 --> 00:48:11,109
Teri, I'm sorry!
760
00:48:11,209 --> 00:48:14,900
Come on, give me one
more chance, please!
761
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:16,567
Come on, Teri!
762
00:48:16,667 --> 00:48:19,567
Teri! Oh, oh! I'm in hell!
763
00:48:19,667 --> 00:48:22,484
I'm in hell! Teri!
764
00:48:22,583 --> 00:48:25,401
Teri, pick up the phone!
765
00:48:25,500 --> 00:48:27,775
Pick up the phone! Pick up the phone!
766
00:48:27,875 --> 00:48:31,067
Oh! Oh, Teri!
767
00:48:31,167 --> 00:48:33,109
Please!
768
00:48:33,209 --> 00:48:35,276
Oh, Teri!
769
00:48:39,875 --> 00:48:42,648
Richard, you shouldn't have.
770
00:48:43,583 --> 00:48:46,276
Happy Father's Day, Dad.
771
00:48:48,292 --> 00:48:49,650
What is this piece of crap?
772
00:48:49,750 --> 00:48:52,025
I thought I told you
I wanted a Rolex!
773
00:48:52,125 --> 00:48:54,368
A Rolex!
774
00:48:54,667 --> 00:48:57,150
- What?
- Sir?
775
00:48:57,250 --> 00:48:58,725
What do you want?
776
00:48:58,825 --> 00:49:01,234
I just thought I ought to tell you, sir,
there's a lot of talk in the street
777
00:49:01,334 --> 00:49:03,276
about this Channel 62.
778
00:49:03,376 --> 00:49:06,192
They're starting to get a
pretty strong following.
779
00:49:06,292 --> 00:49:10,984
Excuse me? Did you say Channel 62?
780
00:49:11,084 --> 00:49:15,567
Do I have to remind you that
we are a network affiliate?
781
00:49:15,667 --> 00:49:18,276
And we're in competition
with other networks,
782
00:49:18,376 --> 00:49:21,317
not with a bunch of punks
broadcasting out of a closet!
783
00:49:21,417 --> 00:49:24,525
- But, sir...
- Do you enjoy wasting my time?
784
00:49:24,625 --> 00:49:26,942
Get out of my office!
785
00:49:27,042 --> 00:49:29,483
And take that ridiculous thing off!
786
00:49:55,750 --> 00:49:58,401
What's that mean? What's that mean?
787
00:50:09,334 --> 00:50:11,192
We got a winner!
788
00:50:11,292 --> 00:50:13,025
We got a winner!
789
00:50:13,125 --> 00:50:15,692
Oh, Joel Miller,
790
00:50:15,792 --> 00:50:18,025
you just found the
marble in the oatmeal.
791
00:50:18,125 --> 00:50:19,692
You're a lucky, lucky,
lucky little boy.
792
00:50:19,792 --> 00:50:21,109
'Cause you know why?
793
00:50:21,209 --> 00:50:24,025
You get to drink from the fire hose!
794
00:50:31,250 --> 00:50:33,442
Yippee-ei-a
795
00:50:33,541 --> 00:50:36,274
So much fun. So much fun.
796
00:50:38,084 --> 00:50:40,733
- Okay, you ready?
- Yeah!
797
00:50:40,833 --> 00:50:42,732
Open wide!
798
00:50:44,125 --> 00:50:45,900
Whoa ho ho!
799
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:48,399
Joel Miller! Let's hear it for him!
800
00:50:50,417 --> 00:50:52,484
- Raul Hernandez?
- Yeah.
801
00:50:52,583 --> 00:50:54,025
Got the delivery here
for your next show.
802
00:50:54,125 --> 00:50:55,859
Oh, great. What you got?
803
00:50:55,959 --> 00:50:59,859
Well, let's see, I got one
aardvark, one flamingo,
804
00:50:59,959 --> 00:51:05,024
four porcupines,
two armadillos, three badgers.
805
00:51:05,875 --> 00:51:07,733
Badgers?
806
00:51:07,833 --> 00:51:09,733
Badgers?
807
00:51:09,833 --> 00:51:12,857
We don't need no stinking badgers!
808
00:51:52,750 --> 00:51:56,150
Never before in the history
of motion pictures
809
00:51:56,250 --> 00:51:57,942
has there been a screen presence
810
00:51:58,042 --> 00:52:00,984
so commanding, so powerful,
811
00:52:01,084 --> 00:52:03,484
so deadly.
812
00:52:03,583 --> 00:52:06,442
He's Conan the Librarian.
813
00:52:06,541 --> 00:52:10,149
Can you tell me where I can
find a book on astronomy?
814
00:52:13,334 --> 00:52:17,984
Don't you know the
Dewey decimal system?
815
00:52:18,084 --> 00:52:20,401
Conan the Librarian.
816
00:52:20,500 --> 00:52:22,109
I'm sorry.
817
00:52:22,209 --> 00:52:24,317
These books are a little overdue.
818
00:52:26,334 --> 00:52:27,900
Conan the Librarian.
819
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:32,358
Tonight, only on U-62.
820
00:52:34,583 --> 00:52:36,857
This is pretty good water...
821
00:52:39,417 --> 00:52:41,817
tastes like poop.
822
00:52:41,917 --> 00:52:44,859
I'm gonna, I'm gonna
eat some corn flakes.
823
00:52:44,959 --> 00:52:47,317
These are good corn...
824
00:52:47,417 --> 00:52:49,192
whoa!
825
00:52:49,292 --> 00:52:51,692
"Free toy inside." "Free toy inside."
826
00:52:51,792 --> 00:52:54,483
Let's find it.
827
00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:59,192
Don't let your mom
know that you do this.
828
00:52:59,292 --> 00:53:02,234
I want to find the toy.
829
00:53:02,334 --> 00:53:04,984
Oh, look! It's a toy man.
830
00:53:05,084 --> 00:53:06,608
It's a toy man.
831
00:53:06,708 --> 00:53:08,692
Hey. Wanna go for a ride?
832
00:53:08,792 --> 00:53:10,317
Oh, boy! Is it fun?
833
00:53:10,417 --> 00:53:12,484
Here, I'll just tie this
around your waist.
834
00:53:12,583 --> 00:53:15,775
Oh... wait a minute!
No, I'll show you.
835
00:53:15,875 --> 00:53:17,192
I don't want to go...
836
00:53:19,417 --> 00:53:21,401
Stop! Stop!
837
00:53:21,500 --> 00:53:22,817
Wasn't that fun?
838
00:53:22,917 --> 00:53:25,692
Oh, stop! I'm dizzy!
No, let's go again.
839
00:53:27,875 --> 00:53:30,733
Okay. How's this for our
new Friday night line-up?
840
00:53:30,833 --> 00:53:33,525
8:00, "Druids On Parade,"
841
00:53:33,625 --> 00:53:36,067
then "The Volcano Worshipers' Hour,"
842
00:53:36,167 --> 00:53:38,442
followed by "Underwater
Bingo for Teens"
843
00:53:38,541 --> 00:53:42,150
and "Fun with Dirt."
844
00:53:42,250 --> 00:53:43,942
Why not?
845
00:53:44,042 --> 00:53:45,484
Get this. I get a call this morning
846
00:53:45,583 --> 00:53:47,817
from a guy who says he
can swallow his own face.
847
00:53:47,917 --> 00:53:49,984
Can you believe that? I...
848
00:53:50,084 --> 00:53:51,775
Bob?
849
00:53:51,875 --> 00:53:55,025
- What you got there?
- The ratings.
850
00:53:55,125 --> 00:53:57,192
Don't tell me we actually
showed up on the list.
851
00:53:57,292 --> 00:53:59,733
We're number one.
852
00:53:59,833 --> 00:54:02,316
Say what?
853
00:54:03,376 --> 00:54:05,900
W-we beat out the networks.
854
00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:08,525
Th-this is unbelievable.
Look at these numbers.
855
00:54:08,625 --> 00:54:10,692
We've got three shows
in the top five.
856
00:54:10,792 --> 00:54:13,109
"Stanley Spadowski's Clubhouse"
went through the roof.
857
00:54:13,209 --> 00:54:16,650
He got a 60 share!
Do you know what this means?
858
00:54:16,750 --> 00:54:19,276
We're finally gonna
have some real money.
859
00:54:19,376 --> 00:54:22,650
George, we're the number
one station in town.
860
00:54:25,334 --> 00:54:27,150
There's lots of fun coming your way
861
00:54:27,250 --> 00:54:29,484
this weekend on U-62.
862
00:54:29,583 --> 00:54:31,650
First, slam your way to health
863
00:54:31,750 --> 00:54:33,942
as you "Stay fit!"
With Mike and Spike.
864
00:54:34,042 --> 00:54:37,733
Next, everybody's favorite,
Chef Bernie invites you to go...
865
00:54:37,833 --> 00:54:39,608
"Bowling for Burgers"!
866
00:54:39,708 --> 00:54:41,359
Sunday, be a part of the excitement
867
00:54:41,459 --> 00:54:43,525
as we premiere our
dazzling new game show
868
00:54:43,625 --> 00:54:45,067
"Strip solitaire"!
869
00:54:45,167 --> 00:54:48,733
And then join us for some
hilarious fun on the all-new
870
00:54:48,833 --> 00:54:50,859
"Practical Jokes and Bloopers"!
871
00:54:50,959 --> 00:54:53,650
And you won't want to miss
"Celebrity Mud Wrestling,"
872
00:54:53,750 --> 00:54:56,900
with this week's special guest,
Mikhail Gorbachev.
873
00:54:57,000 --> 00:54:59,109
Whoa!
874
00:54:59,209 --> 00:55:01,692
It's a whole new weekend on U-62,
875
00:55:01,792 --> 00:55:03,859
the reason television was invented.
876
00:55:03,959 --> 00:55:06,899
Be there! Huh huh, yah.
877
00:55:11,334 --> 00:55:15,692
This is indeed a sad
day for Channel 8.
878
00:55:15,792 --> 00:55:18,359
We've been number one in this
town for the past 10 years
879
00:55:18,459 --> 00:55:21,984
and now our sponsors are
pulling their accounts.
880
00:55:22,084 --> 00:55:25,317
We're losing valuable
advertising revenue.
881
00:55:25,417 --> 00:55:28,650
We're losing credibility
in the market.
882
00:55:28,750 --> 00:55:30,276
And, why?
883
00:55:30,376 --> 00:55:33,401
Because of some
fly-by-night UHF station!
884
00:55:33,500 --> 00:55:37,025
A UHF station!
885
00:55:37,125 --> 00:55:39,942
This is an embarrassment, a disgrace!
886
00:55:40,042 --> 00:55:44,650
What do you think R.J. Fletcher, Sr.
would be saying if he were alive today?
887
00:55:44,750 --> 00:55:47,942
"Help, let me out of this box.
I can't breathe in here.
888
00:55:48,042 --> 00:55:50,274
Help. Let me out."
889
00:55:52,084 --> 00:55:53,650
We've gotta do something.
890
00:55:53,750 --> 00:55:56,149
We've gotta do it fast.
891
00:55:59,084 --> 00:56:02,900
Who owns that station, anyway?
892
00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:06,608
Let me be your hog
893
00:56:06,708 --> 00:56:09,525
Let me be your hog, now...
894
00:56:11,500 --> 00:56:13,442
I said, baby, baby, baby
895
00:56:13,541 --> 00:56:16,049
baby, baby, baby...
896
00:56:17,625 --> 00:56:20,276
Yo! Heh, heh.
897
00:56:20,376 --> 00:56:22,817
Hey, Big Louie. What's happening?
898
00:56:22,917 --> 00:56:25,317
Bad news, Mr. Bilchik.
899
00:56:25,417 --> 00:56:27,401
None of your horses came in.
900
00:56:27,500 --> 00:56:29,525
Oh, that's too bad.
901
00:56:29,625 --> 00:56:32,942
So, what's the damages, huh?
902
00:56:33,042 --> 00:56:36,024
$75,000.
903
00:56:39,833 --> 00:56:41,401
Oh, excuse me, Louie.
904
00:56:41,500 --> 00:56:44,234
I think I got a little
water in the phone here.
905
00:56:44,334 --> 00:56:46,942
How much did you say that was again?
906
00:56:47,042 --> 00:56:49,817
$75,000.
907
00:56:49,917 --> 00:56:52,859
I'll be expecting
payment in two days.
908
00:56:52,959 --> 00:56:55,067
Two days?
909
00:56:55,167 --> 00:56:56,484
Hey, listen, Louie.
910
00:56:56,583 --> 00:56:59,525
I might need a little
bit more time, huh?
911
00:56:59,625 --> 00:57:02,150
Friday night, 10:00.
912
00:57:02,250 --> 00:57:05,690
75,000 in cash.
913
00:57:11,959 --> 00:57:14,399
I'm dead meat.
914
00:57:24,667 --> 00:57:26,817
- Yeah, what?
- Mr. Bilchik?
915
00:57:26,917 --> 00:57:28,857
This is R.J. Fletcher.
916
00:57:36,750 --> 00:57:38,067
Can I help you?
917
00:57:38,167 --> 00:57:40,648
No, thanks. Just taking
a few measurements.
918
00:57:48,541 --> 00:57:50,608
Wait a minute. I think I
missed something here.
919
00:57:50,708 --> 00:57:52,525
Oh, didn't I tell you?
920
00:57:52,625 --> 00:57:54,401
I own this place now.
921
00:57:54,500 --> 00:57:55,984
You what?
922
00:57:56,084 --> 00:57:58,567
What's the matter, kid,
you got wax in your ears?
923
00:57:58,667 --> 00:57:59,984
But my uncle Harvey...
924
00:58:00,084 --> 00:58:02,067
Harvey Bilchik is flying in
tonight to close the deal.
925
00:58:02,167 --> 00:58:03,567
I don't believe this.
926
00:58:03,667 --> 00:58:05,525
- Hold this, kid.
- George, do something.
927
00:58:05,625 --> 00:58:07,775
Hey! W-wait a minute.
928
00:58:07,875 --> 00:58:09,859
Don't you already own Channel 8?
929
00:58:09,959 --> 00:58:13,648
I mean, isn't it illegal to own two
television stations in the same town?
930
00:58:14,667 --> 00:58:17,276
Oh...
931
00:58:17,376 --> 00:58:18,692
really?
932
00:58:18,792 --> 00:58:20,359
Gee...
933
00:58:20,459 --> 00:58:22,775
I guess I'll have to turn this
place into a parking lot.
934
00:58:25,042 --> 00:58:27,690
Toodle-oo! Ha ha ha!
935
00:58:36,500 --> 00:58:38,650
Harvey, I still don't understand
936
00:58:38,750 --> 00:58:40,317
what this is all about.
937
00:58:40,417 --> 00:58:42,192
I told you, I just gotta wrap
up a little business deal,
938
00:58:42,292 --> 00:58:43,608
and I'll be back in a few days
939
00:58:43,708 --> 00:58:46,442
and I'll tell you about it then?
940
00:58:46,541 --> 00:58:49,150
You take care of yourself, you hear?
941
00:58:49,250 --> 00:58:52,107
- Bye.
- Bye.
942
00:58:56,833 --> 00:58:58,442
Hello?
943
00:58:58,541 --> 00:59:01,067
Oh, hi, George.
944
00:59:01,167 --> 00:59:03,150
It's so good to hear from you.
945
00:59:03,250 --> 00:59:05,441
How's everything?
946
00:59:06,833 --> 00:59:09,232
He what?
947
00:59:09,875 --> 00:59:13,607
Harvey Bilchik, get in here!
948
00:59:20,167 --> 00:59:22,067
Uncle Harvey, at least
give me a chance
949
00:59:22,167 --> 00:59:24,109
to match his offer.
950
00:59:24,209 --> 00:59:26,192
Well, let me worry about
951
00:59:26,292 --> 00:59:28,608
where I'm going to come
up with the money.
952
00:59:28,708 --> 00:59:32,859
Yeah. 75,000 in cash by Friday night.
953
00:59:32,959 --> 00:59:35,025
10:00. Yeah, I got it.
954
00:59:35,125 --> 00:59:36,733
Okay.
955
00:59:36,833 --> 00:59:38,150
Okay.
956
00:59:38,250 --> 00:59:39,940
Okay, bye.
957
00:59:41,334 --> 00:59:42,817
Oh, George,
958
00:59:42,917 --> 00:59:44,984
where are you gonna come up
with that kind of money?
959
00:59:45,084 --> 00:59:47,859
Yeah, and what are you
gonna do about Fletcher?
960
00:59:47,959 --> 00:59:49,859
Fletcher...
961
00:59:49,959 --> 00:59:52,942
yeah, I wouldn't put
anything past that guy.
962
00:59:53,042 --> 00:59:57,066
If there were only some way
we could keep an eye on him.
963
01:00:42,167 --> 01:00:45,775
Continental flight 414 now arriving
964
01:00:45,875 --> 01:00:49,232
from Los Angeles at gate seven.
965
01:00:56,209 --> 01:00:58,565
Hey.
966
01:01:00,667 --> 01:01:02,775
Harvey.
967
01:01:02,875 --> 01:01:04,650
Harvey Bilchik.
968
01:01:04,750 --> 01:01:07,817
Great to see you. R.J. Fletcher.
969
01:01:07,917 --> 01:01:10,484
- Did you have a good flight?
- Yeah.
970
01:01:10,583 --> 01:01:12,567
- Want some peanuts?
- No, thank you.
971
01:01:12,667 --> 01:01:16,484
Mr. Bilchik,
while you're here in town,
972
01:01:16,583 --> 01:01:19,067
I want to make sure that
you're very comfortable.
973
01:01:19,167 --> 01:01:22,484
Anything special you want,
you just let me know.
974
01:01:24,125 --> 01:01:26,567
Now... what do you say we
take care of a little business?
975
01:01:26,667 --> 01:01:29,525
I've got all the cash right here.
976
01:01:29,625 --> 01:01:31,942
And as soon as you sign these,
977
01:01:32,042 --> 01:01:34,692
- we can start celebrating.
- Yeah, well, listen...
978
01:01:34,792 --> 01:01:36,567
I-I-I gotta talk to you about that.
979
01:01:36,667 --> 01:01:37,984
What? What's wrong?
980
01:01:38,084 --> 01:01:39,817
Well, you see, the thing is, that,
981
01:01:39,917 --> 01:01:42,192
I promised George that
I'd give him a chance
982
01:01:42,292 --> 01:01:44,109
to get all the money by Friday night.
983
01:01:44,209 --> 01:01:46,276
What are you talking about?
We had a deal!
984
01:01:46,376 --> 01:01:48,109
Yeah, I know, I'm sorry about that,
985
01:01:48,209 --> 01:01:50,276
but it's just something I had to do.
Don't worry about it.
986
01:01:50,376 --> 01:01:51,775
There's no possible way
987
01:01:51,875 --> 01:01:53,484
that kid can come up
with 75,000 bucks
988
01:01:53,583 --> 01:01:55,690
in two days.
989
01:02:02,292 --> 01:02:04,234
George Newman.
990
01:02:04,334 --> 01:02:05,817
He starts where the others stop.
991
01:02:05,917 --> 01:02:08,401
Sex with furniture...
what do you think?
992
01:02:08,500 --> 01:02:11,650
The world watched in amazement
as he unlocked the mysteries
993
01:02:11,750 --> 01:02:13,859
of Al Capone's glove compartment.
994
01:02:13,959 --> 01:02:15,692
Aha!
995
01:02:15,792 --> 01:02:17,608
Road maps!
996
01:02:17,708 --> 01:02:19,608
He blew the lid off Satanism.
997
01:02:19,708 --> 01:02:21,525
Look, all I was trying to say...
998
01:02:21,625 --> 01:02:23,484
Oh, shut up, you pinhead!
999
01:02:23,583 --> 01:02:25,025
You make me sick!
1000
01:02:25,125 --> 01:02:26,733
Sometimes shocking,
1001
01:02:26,833 --> 01:02:29,442
always controversial,
he deals with topics
1002
01:02:29,541 --> 01:02:32,109
that the other talk shows
are afraid to touch.
1003
01:02:32,209 --> 01:02:35,650
He pries, he pokes, he digs deep.
1004
01:02:35,750 --> 01:02:38,276
He gets the answers.
He gets the facts.
1005
01:02:38,376 --> 01:02:40,900
And most of all, he gets the ratings.
1006
01:02:46,376 --> 01:02:49,567
Lesbian Nazi hookers abducted by UFOs
1007
01:02:49,667 --> 01:02:51,567
and forced into
weight-loss programs...
1008
01:02:51,667 --> 01:02:54,523
all this week on "Town Talk."
1009
01:03:09,917 --> 01:03:12,692
George, what's the matter?
1010
01:03:12,792 --> 01:03:15,733
Stanley, you don't wanna know.
1011
01:03:15,833 --> 01:03:17,940
Well...
1012
01:03:18,792 --> 01:03:20,815
why'd I ask?
1013
01:03:25,209 --> 01:03:28,775
Is there something I can do to help?
1014
01:03:28,875 --> 01:03:32,066
Not unless you've got $75,000.
1015
01:03:38,417 --> 01:03:40,984
Let's see...
1016
01:03:41,084 --> 01:03:43,859
no, sorry.
1017
01:03:43,959 --> 01:03:46,942
This is ridiculous.
1018
01:03:47,042 --> 01:03:49,523
There must be something I could do.
1019
01:03:55,417 --> 01:03:58,817
The U-62 telethon is on the air!
1020
01:04:05,209 --> 01:04:06,567
Hey, Dad,
1021
01:04:06,667 --> 01:04:08,567
you'd better turn on Channel 62.
1022
01:04:08,667 --> 01:04:11,232
Something funny's going on.
1023
01:04:15,084 --> 01:04:17,567
Now, we're not asking for donations.
1024
01:04:17,667 --> 01:04:19,442
What we are doing
is offering this town
1025
01:04:19,541 --> 01:04:21,608
a unique business opportunity.
1026
01:04:21,708 --> 01:04:26,650
This is one share of
stock in Channel 62.
1027
01:04:26,750 --> 01:04:29,608
Our goal over the next day and a half
1028
01:04:29,708 --> 01:04:32,608
is to sell 7,500 of these
1029
01:04:32,708 --> 01:04:34,650
at $10 apiece.
1030
01:04:34,750 --> 01:04:38,484
If we succeed, then the station
will belong to all of us.
1031
01:04:38,583 --> 01:04:40,775
Now, I'm calling out an SOS!
1032
01:04:40,875 --> 01:04:44,150
"Save Our Station."
1033
01:04:44,250 --> 01:04:46,775
We got volunteers right over here.
They'll be taking your money.
1034
01:04:46,875 --> 01:04:49,525
They're gonna be working
around the clock for two days
1035
01:04:49,625 --> 01:04:52,067
until every share is sold.
1036
01:04:52,167 --> 01:04:54,317
What do you say, kids? Can we do it?
1037
01:05:06,959 --> 01:05:10,525
I think it's time you boys paid
1038
01:05:10,625 --> 01:05:15,358
our Mr. Spadowski a little visit.
1039
01:05:18,500 --> 01:05:21,234
Yeah, I'm calling you on
behalf of our station.
1040
01:05:21,334 --> 01:05:22,775
We're having this telethon.
We're trying...
1041
01:05:22,875 --> 01:05:25,109
we're really raising a lot of
money here for the channel.
1042
01:05:25,209 --> 01:05:28,109
We'd really appreciate
it if you could help us.
1043
01:05:28,209 --> 01:05:29,775
Well, you...
bring your dogs down here.
1044
01:05:29,875 --> 01:05:31,733
I'll wash them for you.
1045
01:05:31,833 --> 01:05:34,025
Huh?
1046
01:05:34,125 --> 01:05:35,525
Well, so far, guys,
1047
01:05:35,625 --> 01:05:37,859
your response has
really been incredible,
1048
01:05:37,959 --> 01:05:40,733
but we've still got a long way to go.
1049
01:05:40,833 --> 01:05:43,608
Remember, when you buy stock in U-62,
1050
01:05:43,708 --> 01:05:47,109
you're not only helping
yourself and your community...
1051
01:05:47,209 --> 01:05:49,192
You're doing great, Stanley.
1052
01:05:49,292 --> 01:05:51,650
Now, remember,
you gotta pace yourself.
1053
01:05:51,750 --> 01:05:53,608
You got a long way to go
before tomorrow night.
1054
01:05:53,708 --> 01:05:55,899
Yeah, I can do it,
George. I can do it.
1055
01:05:56,541 --> 01:05:59,817
All right, now, just take it easy.
1056
01:06:02,667 --> 01:06:05,442
- Is there anything I can get you?
- Some Play-Doh.
1057
01:06:05,541 --> 01:06:06,984
Okay.
1058
01:06:07,084 --> 01:06:08,900
No, no, no, George,
get me some bubbles,
1059
01:06:09,000 --> 01:06:12,940
- some real big bubbles.
- I'll see what I can do.
1060
01:06:20,715 --> 01:06:21,859
Who is it?
1061
01:06:21,959 --> 01:06:25,276
Got a pizza here for
Mr. Stanley Spadowski.
1062
01:06:25,376 --> 01:06:29,066
Pizza? For me? Oh, boy!
1063
01:06:32,042 --> 01:06:33,859
I like peppers.
1064
01:06:33,959 --> 01:06:35,817
But I love anchovies
1065
01:06:35,917 --> 01:06:37,692
because they're real fishy.
1066
01:06:37,792 --> 01:06:39,859
Sometimes I just like to get a pizza
1067
01:06:39,959 --> 01:06:41,608
with nothing on it but anchovies.
1068
01:06:41,708 --> 01:06:43,525
No peppers or olives or onions.
1069
01:06:43,625 --> 01:06:46,484
Just anchovies 'cause they're good.
1070
01:06:46,583 --> 01:06:49,150
So, are we going to kill him?
1071
01:06:49,250 --> 01:06:52,150
No. The boss just wants us
to keep him on ice for a while.
1072
01:06:52,250 --> 01:06:54,441
Easy, easy.
1073
01:06:55,209 --> 01:06:56,567
Hey, wait a minute.
1074
01:06:56,667 --> 01:06:59,483
You guys aren't from the pizza place.
1075
01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:12,442
Oh, George! George,
you've got to do something.
1076
01:07:12,541 --> 01:07:15,109
Every minute that Stanley's not
on the air, we're losing money.
1077
01:07:15,209 --> 01:07:18,067
Yeah. Listen, just stall
as long as you can.
1078
01:07:18,167 --> 01:07:20,067
- I'm sure he'll turn up.
- Okay.
1079
01:07:20,167 --> 01:07:22,150
- What did the police say?
- They're doing everything they can.
1080
01:07:22,250 --> 01:07:25,648
I'm telling you, George,
Fletcher's behind this. I just know it.
1081
01:07:35,459 --> 01:07:38,234
Okay. I'm thinking of something...
1082
01:07:38,334 --> 01:07:39,775
orange.
1083
01:07:39,875 --> 01:07:41,650
Something orange.
1084
01:07:41,750 --> 01:07:43,567
Orange.
1085
01:07:43,667 --> 01:07:45,650
You give up?
1086
01:07:45,750 --> 01:07:47,808
It's an orange. Get it?
1087
01:07:48,408 --> 01:07:49,942
This is fun, huh?
1088
01:07:50,042 --> 01:07:52,109
Okay. Now I'm thinking
of something...
1089
01:07:52,209 --> 01:07:53,650
blue.
1090
01:07:53,750 --> 01:07:56,150
Something blue.
1091
01:07:56,250 --> 01:07:58,234
Let me kill him.
1092
01:07:58,334 --> 01:08:00,608
Please, let me kill him.
1093
01:08:10,583 --> 01:08:12,025
What?
1094
01:08:13,583 --> 01:08:17,192
Wh... what?
1095
01:08:17,292 --> 01:08:19,399
Oh...
1096
01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:23,442
what?
1097
01:08:23,541 --> 01:08:26,399
Don't you like "Bonanza"?
1098
01:08:40,792 --> 01:08:43,274
Okay, Philo, go to commercial.
1099
01:08:47,541 --> 01:08:50,401
Next week on U-62...
1100
01:08:50,500 --> 01:08:53,359
He's back,
1101
01:08:53,459 --> 01:08:57,316
and this time, he's mad.
1102
01:08:57,959 --> 01:08:59,650
"Gandhi II"!
1103
01:08:59,750 --> 01:09:02,359
No more Mr. Passive Resistance.
1104
01:09:02,459 --> 01:09:03,942
He's out to kick some butt.
1105
01:09:06,541 --> 01:09:08,025
This is one bad mother
1106
01:09:08,125 --> 01:09:10,025
you don't wanna mess with.
1107
01:09:10,125 --> 01:09:12,274
Yah!
1108
01:09:15,042 --> 01:09:17,442
Don't move, slimeball.
1109
01:09:19,625 --> 01:09:23,024
He's a one-man wrecking crew.
1110
01:09:24,833 --> 01:09:28,149
But he also knows how to party.
1111
01:09:30,250 --> 01:09:32,276
Give me a steak, medium rare.
1112
01:09:32,376 --> 01:09:34,276
Hey, baldy!
1113
01:09:34,376 --> 01:09:36,067
There is only one law...
1114
01:09:36,167 --> 01:09:38,191
his law.
1115
01:09:40,167 --> 01:09:43,107
"Gandhi II"!
1116
01:09:44,959 --> 01:09:47,523
Hey, mister!
1117
01:09:48,167 --> 01:09:50,859
Change? You got change?
1118
01:09:50,959 --> 01:09:52,525
Do you mind? Get out of my way.
1119
01:09:52,625 --> 01:09:56,234
Hey, come on.
Can't you help a guy out?
1120
01:09:56,334 --> 01:09:58,358
Anything.
1121
01:10:02,500 --> 01:10:05,358
Don't spend it all in one place.
1122
01:10:10,292 --> 01:10:12,317
I can't believe it!
1123
01:10:12,417 --> 01:10:14,608
Oh, thanks, mister.
1124
01:10:14,708 --> 01:10:16,608
Thanks a lot!
1125
01:10:30,500 --> 01:10:33,109
Mr. Fletcher?
1126
01:10:33,209 --> 01:10:35,317
May I speak to you for a moment?
1127
01:10:35,417 --> 01:10:37,900
Personnel's that way, young lady.
1128
01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:40,025
No, I'm not here about a job.
1129
01:10:40,125 --> 01:10:42,650
I'd like to talk to
you about Channel 62.
1130
01:10:42,750 --> 01:10:45,025
Channel 62? Oh, yes.
1131
01:10:45,125 --> 01:10:46,817
My demolition team is looking forward
1132
01:10:46,917 --> 01:10:49,359
to turning it into a rubble
heap Saturday morning.
1133
01:10:49,459 --> 01:10:51,234
Wait a minute.
1134
01:10:51,334 --> 01:10:54,192
Will you please just listen?
1135
01:10:54,292 --> 01:10:56,401
George Newman has
turned that little station
1136
01:10:56,500 --> 01:10:58,567
into something this
community cares about.
1137
01:10:58,667 --> 01:11:01,525
George Newman is
a two-bit little punk
1138
01:11:01,625 --> 01:11:03,817
who should never have stuck
his nose where it didn't belong.
1139
01:11:03,917 --> 01:11:06,150
And if he sent you here
to try to make a deal...
1140
01:11:06,250 --> 01:11:08,442
George doesn't know I'm here.
1141
01:11:08,541 --> 01:11:10,942
Look, it just seems to me that
1142
01:11:11,042 --> 01:11:14,150
there's more than enough room
for both of you in this town.
1143
01:11:14,250 --> 01:11:15,608
Besides, a little competition
1144
01:11:15,708 --> 01:11:17,442
is always good for the community.
1145
01:11:17,541 --> 01:11:20,234
The community?
Let me tell you something.
1146
01:11:20,334 --> 01:11:22,775
This community means
about as much to me
1147
01:11:22,875 --> 01:11:26,274
as a festering bowl of dog snot.
1148
01:11:35,875 --> 01:11:37,692
You guys?
1149
01:11:37,792 --> 01:11:39,650
Hey, you guys!
1150
01:11:39,750 --> 01:11:41,984
The blindfold fell off.
1151
01:11:42,084 --> 01:11:43,775
You better come fix it.
1152
01:11:43,875 --> 01:11:46,859
I didn't mean for it to... whoa!
1153
01:11:46,959 --> 01:11:49,984
Hey, my shirt glows in the dark!
1154
01:11:52,084 --> 01:11:54,484
Will you shut him up?
1155
01:11:54,583 --> 01:11:57,067
Oh, I got an itch. I got an itch.
1156
01:11:57,167 --> 01:11:58,940
I got an itch. I got an itch.
1157
01:12:00,792 --> 01:12:03,067
I got an itch. I got an itch.
1158
01:12:03,167 --> 01:12:05,815
- I got an itch, I got an itch.
- Stanley.
1159
01:12:06,459 --> 01:12:08,484
I don't want to have
to tell you this again.
1160
01:12:08,583 --> 01:12:11,317
Shut up.
1161
01:12:11,417 --> 01:12:14,401
You're making us nuts.
1162
01:12:14,500 --> 01:12:16,442
Now...
1163
01:12:16,541 --> 01:12:19,692
I got three guys out here
1164
01:12:19,792 --> 01:12:23,857
that would love to
cut your tongue out,
1165
01:12:24,959 --> 01:12:27,150
but I don't want them to do that.
1166
01:12:27,250 --> 01:12:30,525
I told them that in
another couple of hours
1167
01:12:30,625 --> 01:12:32,608
this whole thing will be over,.
1168
01:12:32,708 --> 01:12:36,525
So, Stanley, be nice.
1169
01:12:36,625 --> 01:12:39,149
My mop!
1170
01:12:46,840 --> 01:12:48,325
Freeze!
1171
01:12:56,917 --> 01:12:58,442
- Hey!
- Get him!
1172
01:12:58,541 --> 01:13:00,775
- He's getting away!
- Let's get him!
1173
01:13:00,875 --> 01:13:03,899
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Get out of my way!
1174
01:13:50,583 --> 01:13:52,815
Not gonna get me.
1175
01:14:07,750 --> 01:14:09,732
Yeah.
1176
01:14:20,125 --> 01:14:22,316
Stanley.
1177
01:14:24,084 --> 01:14:27,775
Don't move, Spadowski.
1178
01:14:27,875 --> 01:14:30,857
Don't even breathe.
1179
01:14:37,376 --> 01:14:40,690
Wh-what are we gonna do now?
1180
01:14:41,459 --> 01:14:43,899
I'll handle this.
1181
01:17:14,959 --> 01:17:17,815
Ooh!
1182
01:17:52,625 --> 01:17:54,899
Whoa.
1183
01:17:56,376 --> 01:17:58,316
Oh.
1184
01:18:41,084 --> 01:18:42,650
Oh, boy!
1185
01:19:03,959 --> 01:19:06,274
Who is this guy?
1186
01:19:07,541 --> 01:19:10,607
I'm your worst nightmare.
1187
01:19:14,292 --> 01:19:17,025
Listen, I can see you
guys are pretty busy.
1188
01:19:17,125 --> 01:19:19,067
How about if I just come back later?
1189
01:19:19,167 --> 01:19:20,692
Forget it, pal.
1190
01:19:20,792 --> 01:19:23,317
We're all going for a little ride.
1191
01:19:23,417 --> 01:19:25,859
Oh. Well, we'll have
to take your car.
1192
01:19:25,959 --> 01:19:27,525
Mine's a two-seater.
1193
01:19:27,625 --> 01:19:29,775
Just shut up, kid.
1194
01:19:29,875 --> 01:19:32,942
You know, you really
botched things up.
1195
01:19:33,042 --> 01:19:37,523
If you hadn't stuck your
face in our business...
1196
01:19:38,334 --> 01:19:41,358
we'd all be going home real soon.
1197
01:19:42,833 --> 01:19:45,984
But now I'm gonna have to take you
1198
01:19:46,084 --> 01:19:49,192
and your friend out of commission...
1199
01:19:49,292 --> 01:19:51,441
for good.
1200
01:19:53,000 --> 01:19:54,775
Redrum!
1201
01:19:54,875 --> 01:19:56,399
Redrum!
1202
01:19:58,166 --> 01:20:00,525
What was that? Hold on.
1203
01:20:00,625 --> 01:20:02,900
- I thought I heard something.
- What?
1204
01:20:03,000 --> 01:20:06,900
- I don't know. I just thought...
- Supplies!
1205
01:20:22,376 --> 01:20:24,359
Hey, everybody, they're back.
1206
01:20:36,250 --> 01:20:38,690
Yeah!
1207
01:21:08,792 --> 01:21:10,650
Dee dee
1208
01:21:10,750 --> 01:21:12,484
Dee dee du dee dee
1209
01:21:12,583 --> 01:21:13,650
Da da dee dee
1210
01:21:13,750 --> 01:21:16,024
Da dee dee...
1211
01:21:21,125 --> 01:21:22,650
Friends,
1212
01:21:22,750 --> 01:21:26,025
there comes a time
in every man's life
1213
01:21:26,125 --> 01:21:28,692
where he has to look
the potato of injustice
1214
01:21:28,792 --> 01:21:30,567
right in the eye.
1215
01:21:30,667 --> 01:21:33,775
There's a powerful evil
force in the universe.
1216
01:21:33,875 --> 01:21:36,150
And it lives at Channel 8.
And I've seen it,
1217
01:21:36,250 --> 01:21:40,234
and I don't want it to pop its ugly,
greasy head around here,
1218
01:21:40,334 --> 01:21:42,484
- do you?
- No!
1219
01:21:42,583 --> 01:21:45,025
- I can't hear you!
- No!
1220
01:21:45,125 --> 01:21:47,817
- I can't hear you!
- No!
1221
01:21:47,917 --> 01:21:50,859
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
1222
01:21:53,125 --> 01:21:54,484
All right, say it again.
1223
01:21:54,583 --> 01:21:56,900
- No!
- All right!
1224
01:21:57,000 --> 01:21:58,942
And now a special report
1225
01:21:59,042 --> 01:22:01,442
from the owner and general
manager of Channel 8,
1226
01:22:01,541 --> 01:22:03,442
R.J. Fletcher.
1227
01:22:03,541 --> 01:22:05,442
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
1228
01:22:05,541 --> 01:22:07,692
I come before you tonight
1229
01:22:07,792 --> 01:22:09,192
to speak on a matter
1230
01:22:09,292 --> 01:22:12,192
which is of grave concern to us all.
1231
01:22:12,292 --> 01:22:14,525
I want to show you
1232
01:22:14,625 --> 01:22:17,067
how one small television station
1233
01:22:17,167 --> 01:22:21,733
can single-handedly
disrupt and destroy
1234
01:22:21,833 --> 01:22:25,150
the moral fiber of
an entire community.
1235
01:22:25,250 --> 01:22:28,484
The following may upset you.
1236
01:22:28,583 --> 01:22:30,484
It may even shock you.
1237
01:22:32,500 --> 01:22:36,608
But I feel it is my duty
as a concerned citizen
1238
01:22:36,708 --> 01:22:41,232
to bring you this important message.
1239
01:22:43,459 --> 01:22:45,775
This community means
about as much to me
1240
01:22:45,875 --> 01:22:48,733
as a festering bowl of dog snot.
1241
01:22:48,833 --> 01:22:52,192
You think I care about the
pea-brained yokels of this town?
1242
01:22:52,292 --> 01:22:56,401
If you took their combined
IQ and multiplied it by 100,
1243
01:22:56,500 --> 01:22:59,067
you might have enough
intelligence to tie your shoe,
1244
01:22:59,167 --> 01:23:02,067
if you didn't drool all
over yourself first.
1245
01:23:02,167 --> 01:23:05,150
I can't stand those
sniveling maggots.
1246
01:23:05,250 --> 01:23:07,359
They make me want to puke.
1247
01:23:07,459 --> 01:23:09,608
But there is one good
thing about broadcasting
1248
01:23:09,708 --> 01:23:12,817
to a town full of mindless sheep...
1249
01:23:12,917 --> 01:23:15,359
I always know I've got them
1250
01:23:15,459 --> 01:23:18,359
exactly where I want them.
1251
01:23:37,000 --> 01:23:38,859
$73,000!
1252
01:23:40,541 --> 01:23:43,525
We just hit the $73,000 mark!
1253
01:23:43,625 --> 01:23:45,984
Okay, Mouseketeers, come on.
1254
01:23:46,084 --> 01:23:48,316
We can do it. Woo!
1255
01:23:50,125 --> 01:23:52,607
What do you say, stranger?
1256
01:23:53,376 --> 01:23:55,024
Teri.
1257
01:23:56,459 --> 01:23:58,276
What are you doing here?
1258
01:23:58,376 --> 01:23:59,733
I thought you never
wanted to see me again.
1259
01:23:59,833 --> 01:24:03,191
Well, whatever gave you that idea?
1260
01:24:03,917 --> 01:24:05,442
Well, I think my first
clue was when you said
1261
01:24:05,541 --> 01:24:06,984
you never wanted to see me again.
1262
01:24:07,084 --> 01:24:10,317
Oh. Well, George...
1263
01:24:10,417 --> 01:24:12,150
no matter what happens tonight,
1264
01:24:12,250 --> 01:24:15,441
I just want you to know
that I'm so proud of you.
1265
01:24:21,167 --> 01:24:22,859
Uncle Harvey.
1266
01:24:22,959 --> 01:24:25,192
Listen, we'll definitely
have the money for you,
1267
01:24:25,292 --> 01:24:27,692
it just may take a few minutes
longer than we expected.
1268
01:24:27,792 --> 01:24:29,484
Look, kid, if it was up to me,
1269
01:24:29,583 --> 01:24:31,359
I'd let you have all the time
you wanted, but you know,
1270
01:24:31,459 --> 01:24:34,692
Big Louie is a very punctual kind
of guy, you know what I mean?
1271
01:24:34,792 --> 01:24:36,815
I wouldn't wanna keep him waiting.
1272
01:24:39,792 --> 01:24:41,608
Whoa, whoa.
1273
01:24:41,708 --> 01:24:44,192
Okay, okay. I know
a lot of you people
1274
01:24:44,292 --> 01:24:46,067
probably like to wait
till the last minute.
1275
01:24:46,167 --> 01:24:48,942
Well, this is it!
This is the last minute!
1276
01:24:49,042 --> 01:24:50,775
What are you doing here?
1277
01:24:50,875 --> 01:24:53,150
You're disturbing the peace. Come on.
1278
01:24:53,250 --> 01:24:55,650
Out of the way.
Why aren't you home in bed?
1279
01:24:55,750 --> 01:24:57,984
Get out of here.
1280
01:24:58,084 --> 01:24:59,859
Stand back. Out of my way.
1281
01:24:59,959 --> 01:25:03,859
Look out.
1282
01:25:03,959 --> 01:25:07,067
Aw!
1283
01:25:07,167 --> 01:25:10,107
This party is over, Mr. Newman.
1284
01:25:13,625 --> 01:25:16,024
You can say that again.
1285
01:25:24,334 --> 01:25:27,067
Okay, Fletcher...
1286
01:25:27,167 --> 01:25:28,900
you win. Give me the money.
1287
01:25:29,000 --> 01:25:30,192
Settle down.
1288
01:25:30,292 --> 01:25:32,650
All in good time, Mr. Bilchik.
1289
01:25:32,750 --> 01:25:35,525
What, are you crazy?
Give me the money!
1290
01:25:35,625 --> 01:25:38,109
Please, if you don't mind,
1291
01:25:38,209 --> 01:25:41,775
there are a few things I'd
like to say to these people
1292
01:25:41,875 --> 01:25:45,399
before this transaction takes place.
1293
01:25:48,332 --> 01:25:49,441
What?
1294
01:25:57,959 --> 01:26:00,900
Dear friends,
1295
01:26:01,000 --> 01:26:04,942
I'm sure that one day you'll realize
1296
01:26:05,042 --> 01:26:06,817
that by shutting down
1297
01:26:06,917 --> 01:26:09,484
this hotbed of subversive activity...
1298
01:26:09,583 --> 01:26:11,650
Hey, mister!
1299
01:26:11,750 --> 01:26:13,150
Not now, okay?
1300
01:26:13,250 --> 01:26:15,317
I was just wondering if it's too late
1301
01:26:15,417 --> 01:26:17,025
to buy any of them shares.
1302
01:26:17,125 --> 01:26:20,109
I'll take whatever you got left.
1303
01:26:20,209 --> 01:26:24,150
- How much is that?
- $2,000.
1304
01:26:25,449 --> 01:26:27,432
Keep the change.
1305
01:26:28,750 --> 01:26:34,276
I have decided not to tear
down the building after all.
1306
01:26:34,376 --> 01:26:37,608
I am going to turn
it into a laundromat.
1307
01:26:37,708 --> 01:26:40,608
Mr. Big Louie, sir?
1308
01:26:40,708 --> 01:26:43,650
My uncle Harvey wanted
you to have this.
1309
01:26:43,750 --> 01:26:47,360
$75,000. It's all there.
1310
01:26:47,959 --> 01:26:49,567
Now let me tell you something...
1311
01:26:49,667 --> 01:26:52,026
Uncle Harvey.
1312
01:26:52,625 --> 01:26:54,733
Hey, what's going on here?
1313
01:26:56,417 --> 01:26:59,401
Now, wait just one minute!
What do think you're doing?
1314
01:26:59,500 --> 01:27:01,067
We did it! The station's ours!
1315
01:27:28,125 --> 01:27:30,484
- Wow, look at that!
- You can't do this!
1316
01:27:30,583 --> 01:27:33,775
We had an agreement, remember?
An oral contract.
1317
01:27:33,875 --> 01:27:35,109
I'll sue.
1318
01:27:35,209 --> 01:27:37,732
Oh, blow it out your ear, scuzbag.
1319
01:27:38,917 --> 01:27:40,692
R.J. Fletcher?
1320
01:27:40,792 --> 01:27:43,525
- So what if I am?
- I'm John Vickers, F.C.C.
1321
01:27:43,625 --> 01:27:45,442
I've noticed your
that station is late
1322
01:27:45,541 --> 01:27:47,942
in filing its license
renewal this year.
1323
01:27:48,042 --> 01:27:49,942
Now, normally, this kind of violation
1324
01:27:50,042 --> 01:27:51,692
is punishable by a stiff fine,
1325
01:27:51,792 --> 01:27:53,359
but I've been watching you lately.
1326
01:27:53,459 --> 01:27:55,525
You made a big impression on me.
1327
01:27:55,625 --> 01:27:57,942
Yeah, I'm revoking your license.
1328
01:27:58,042 --> 01:28:00,441
Effective immediately,
you're off the air.
1329
01:28:01,292 --> 01:28:03,484
Hi, Pamela Finklestein here
1330
01:28:03,583 --> 01:28:05,775
coming to you with the most
incredible turn of events.
1331
01:28:05,875 --> 01:28:09,067
Not only has the once-powerful
corporate broadcasting giant
1332
01:28:09,167 --> 01:28:11,317
been thoroughly crushed and defeated,
1333
01:28:11,417 --> 01:28:12,859
but now, as luck would have it,
1334
01:28:12,959 --> 01:28:16,525
they've been completely stripped
of their license by the F.C.C.!
1335
01:28:18,250 --> 01:28:21,274
What do you have to say about it,
you worthless, slobbering pig?
1336
01:28:22,250 --> 01:28:24,442
Dad? Where's my dad?
1337
01:28:24,541 --> 01:28:26,899
What's going on here? Whoa!
1338
01:28:30,417 --> 01:28:33,359
Oh, did I do that?
1339
01:28:33,459 --> 01:28:35,484
Oopsie!
1340
01:28:35,583 --> 01:28:39,692
Dad!
1341
01:28:39,792 --> 01:28:40,859
Philo!
1342
01:28:40,959 --> 01:28:43,859
Hey, you really went beyond the call
of duty on this one, pal. Thanks.
1343
01:28:43,959 --> 01:28:45,942
I'm glad to have been
of service, George.
1344
01:28:46,042 --> 01:28:50,442
Well, i-i-it appears my work
on this planet is complete.
1345
01:28:50,541 --> 01:28:52,276
I must now return to my home
1346
01:28:52,376 --> 01:28:54,817
on the planet Zarkon.
1347
01:28:54,917 --> 01:28:57,857
Okay. Well, have fun.
1348
01:29:01,833 --> 01:29:04,025
Hey, nice going, kid.
1349
01:29:04,125 --> 01:29:06,317
I didn't know you had it in you.
1350
01:29:06,417 --> 01:29:08,942
- You're okay.
- Thanks, Uncle Harvey.
1351
01:29:09,042 --> 01:29:12,442
- Have a nice flight back to the coast.
- Thanks.
1352
01:29:12,541 --> 01:29:15,483
- Say hi to Aunt Esther for me.
- Sure will.
1353
01:29:18,000 --> 01:29:19,942
Excuse me.
1354
01:29:20,042 --> 01:29:21,942
Aren't you R.J. Fletcher?
1355
01:29:22,042 --> 01:29:25,648
Yes! Ooh!
1356
01:29:26,417 --> 01:29:28,817
Yeah!
1357
01:29:28,917 --> 01:29:31,859
Hey, Stanley, congratulations.
You really pulled us through.
1358
01:29:31,959 --> 01:29:34,733
George, I want you to know that I'm
mighty proud to be a part of your team.
1359
01:29:34,833 --> 01:29:36,234
Well, I'm mighty proud
of you, too, Stanley.
1360
01:29:36,334 --> 01:29:39,899
In fact, I'd like to present you
with a small token of my gratitude.
1361
01:29:41,459 --> 01:29:43,775
A trophy.
1362
01:29:43,875 --> 01:29:46,025
That... that's me?
1363
01:29:46,125 --> 01:29:49,317
"Stanley... World's greatest janitor
1364
01:29:49,417 --> 01:29:52,109
and TV Star."
1365
01:29:52,209 --> 01:29:54,942
Aw, George,
1366
01:29:55,042 --> 01:29:57,525
I never had anybody give
me a trophy before.
1367
01:29:57,625 --> 01:30:00,567
It's... it's big.
1368
01:30:00,667 --> 01:30:04,733
George, you're my best
friend in the whole world.
1369
01:30:04,833 --> 01:30:06,692
I'm gonna go show
everybody right now.
1370
01:30:06,792 --> 01:30:08,192
Hey, everybody,
1371
01:30:08,292 --> 01:30:10,109
look at what George gave me!
1372
01:30:10,209 --> 01:30:13,775
Hey! Hey, I know you.
1373
01:30:13,875 --> 01:30:16,067
You're the guy that gave me
1374
01:30:16,167 --> 01:30:20,192
that 1955 double-die
Denver mint penny.
1375
01:30:20,292 --> 01:30:23,359
Oh, ho, ho, thanks a lot, mister.
1376
01:30:23,459 --> 01:30:26,900
That thing was worth a fortune.
1377
01:30:27,000 --> 01:30:28,817
When I cashed it in,
1378
01:30:28,917 --> 01:30:32,234
I got enough money to buy
a whole bunch of shares,
1379
01:30:32,334 --> 01:30:36,234
plus I got me a real neat watch.
1380
01:30:36,334 --> 01:30:39,441
It's a Rolex. See?
1381
01:30:49,541 --> 01:30:51,942
George?
1382
01:30:54,000 --> 01:30:56,942
You know those dreams
you're always having?
1383
01:30:57,042 --> 01:30:58,567
Yeah?
1384
01:30:58,667 --> 01:31:02,442
Well, do you think
that maybe sometime
1385
01:31:02,541 --> 01:31:04,982
I could be part of them?
1386
01:31:06,833 --> 01:31:09,067
Honey, from now on,
1387
01:31:09,167 --> 01:31:11,401
you're gonna be in all of 'em.
1388
01:31:11,500 --> 01:31:14,942
Oh, George.
1389
01:31:15,042 --> 01:31:18,401
Darlin', let's leave
this place right now.
1390
01:31:18,500 --> 01:31:20,276
Let's go this very minute.
1391
01:31:20,376 --> 01:31:23,484
No, dear, please.
Let's wait till tomorrow.
1392
01:31:23,583 --> 01:31:26,733
But why? Why?
1393
01:31:26,833 --> 01:31:30,484
Because tomorrow is another day.
1394
01:31:30,583 --> 01:31:34,107
I knew she was going to say that.
1395
01:32:09,417 --> 01:32:11,650
Put down your remote control
1396
01:32:11,750 --> 01:32:14,316
Throw out your "TV Guide"
1397
01:32:16,792 --> 01:32:18,484
Put away your jacket
1398
01:32:18,583 --> 01:32:21,648
There's no need to go outside
1399
01:32:22,708 --> 01:32:27,984
Don't you know that we
control the horizontal?
1400
01:32:28,084 --> 01:32:31,775
We control the vertical, too
1401
01:32:31,875 --> 01:32:36,692
We gonna make a couch
potato out of you
1402
01:32:36,792 --> 01:32:39,567
That's what we're going to do now
1403
01:32:39,667 --> 01:32:41,608
Don't change the channel
1404
01:32:41,708 --> 01:32:43,442
Don't touch that dial
1405
01:32:43,541 --> 01:32:47,109
We got it all on UHF
1406
01:32:47,209 --> 01:32:49,109
Kick off your sneakers
1407
01:32:49,209 --> 01:32:51,067
Stick around for a while
1408
01:32:51,167 --> 01:32:53,942
We got it all on UHF
1409
01:32:54,042 --> 01:32:56,109
Don't worry about your laundry
1410
01:32:56,209 --> 01:32:57,942
Forget about your job
1411
01:32:58,042 --> 01:33:01,067
Just crank up the volume
and yank off the knob
1412
01:33:01,167 --> 01:33:02,984
- We got it all
- We got it all
1413
01:33:03,084 --> 01:33:04,401
We got it all
1414
01:33:04,500 --> 01:33:06,648
On UHF
1415
01:33:12,833 --> 01:33:14,525
Disconnect the phone
1416
01:33:14,625 --> 01:33:17,732
Now, leave the dishes in the sink
1417
01:33:19,833 --> 01:33:22,025
You better put away your homework
1418
01:33:22,125 --> 01:33:25,316
Prime time ain't no time to think
1419
01:33:26,250 --> 01:33:31,442
All you do is make
yourself a TV dinner
1420
01:33:31,541 --> 01:33:35,692
Press your face right
up against the screen
1421
01:33:35,792 --> 01:33:40,317
We gonna show you things
you ain't ever seen
1422
01:33:40,417 --> 01:33:43,150
If you know what I mean, now
1423
01:33:43,250 --> 01:33:44,984
Don't change the channel
1424
01:33:45,084 --> 01:33:47,025
Don't touch that dial
1425
01:33:47,125 --> 01:33:50,692
We got it all on UHF
1426
01:33:50,792 --> 01:33:52,525
Kick off your sneakers
1427
01:33:52,625 --> 01:33:54,567
Stick around for a while
1428
01:33:54,667 --> 01:33:57,525
We got it all on UHF
1429
01:33:57,625 --> 01:33:59,401
Don't worry about your laundry
1430
01:33:59,500 --> 01:34:01,276
Forget about your job
1431
01:34:01,376 --> 01:34:04,567
Just crank up the volume
and yank off the knob
1432
01:34:04,667 --> 01:34:06,650
- We got it all
- We got it all
1433
01:34:06,750 --> 01:34:08,109
We got it all
1434
01:34:08,209 --> 01:34:09,940
On UHF
1435
01:34:27,750 --> 01:34:31,608
Ahh ahh
1436
01:34:31,708 --> 01:34:35,774
Ahh ahh
1437
01:34:42,000 --> 01:34:46,025
You can watch us all day,
you can watch us all night
1438
01:34:46,125 --> 01:34:49,859
You can watch us
anytime that you please
1439
01:34:49,959 --> 01:34:53,484
You can sit around and
stare at the picture tube
1440
01:34:53,583 --> 01:34:56,234
Till your brain turns
into cottage cheese
1441
01:34:56,334 --> 01:34:58,025
Well, now
1442
01:34:58,125 --> 01:34:59,859
Don't change the channel
1443
01:34:59,959 --> 01:35:01,900
Don't touch that dial
1444
01:35:02,000 --> 01:35:05,525
We got it all on UHF
1445
01:35:05,625 --> 01:35:07,401
Kick off your sneakers
1446
01:35:07,500 --> 01:35:09,276
Stick around for a while
1447
01:35:09,376 --> 01:35:12,484
We got it all on UHF
1448
01:35:12,583 --> 01:35:14,067
Don't worry about your laundry
1449
01:35:14,167 --> 01:35:16,025
Forget about your job
1450
01:35:16,125 --> 01:35:17,942
You got to crank up the volume
1451
01:35:18,042 --> 01:35:19,317
Yank off the knob
1452
01:35:19,417 --> 01:35:21,484
- We got it all
- We got it all
1453
01:35:21,583 --> 01:35:22,775
We got it all
1454
01:35:22,875 --> 01:35:24,359
On UHF
1455
01:35:24,459 --> 01:35:26,775
We got it all on UHF
1456
01:35:26,875 --> 01:35:28,067
UHF
1457
01:35:28,167 --> 01:35:30,317
We got it all on UHF
1458
01:35:30,417 --> 01:35:31,650
UHF
1459
01:35:31,750 --> 01:35:33,900
We got it all on UHF
1460
01:35:34,000 --> 01:35:35,359
UHF
1461
01:35:35,459 --> 01:35:38,150
We got it all on UHF
1462
01:35:38,250 --> 01:35:39,900
We got it all
1463
01:35:40,000 --> 01:35:42,525
We got it all on UHF
1464
01:35:42,625 --> 01:35:46,650
We got it all on UHF
1465
01:35:46,750 --> 01:35:50,234
We got it all on UHF
1466
01:35:50,334 --> 01:35:53,234
We got it all on UHF
1467
01:35:53,334 --> 01:35:54,525
We got it all
1468
01:35:54,625 --> 01:35:57,859
We got it all on UHF
1469
01:35:57,959 --> 01:36:01,442
We got it all on UHF
1470
01:36:01,541 --> 01:36:04,276
We got it all on UHF
1471
01:36:04,376 --> 01:36:07,984
We got it all on UHF
1472
01:36:08,084 --> 01:36:09,359
UHF
1473
01:36:09,459 --> 01:36:12,900
We got it all on UHF
1474
01:36:13,000 --> 01:36:16,525
We got it all on UHF
1475
01:36:16,625 --> 01:36:19,234
We got it all on UHF
1476
01:36:19,334 --> 01:36:20,567
UHF
1477
01:36:20,667 --> 01:36:23,984
We got it all on UHF
1478
01:36:24,084 --> 01:36:27,608
We got it all on UHF
1479
01:36:27,708 --> 01:36:31,067
We got it all on UHF
1480
01:36:31,167 --> 01:36:34,192
We got it all on UHF
1481
01:36:34,292 --> 01:36:35,733
UHF
1482
01:36:35,833 --> 01:36:37,817
We got it all on UHF
1483
01:36:37,917 --> 01:36:39,567
UHF
1484
01:36:39,667 --> 01:36:41,234
We got it all on UHF
1485
01:36:41,334 --> 01:36:42,942
UHF
1486
01:36:43,042 --> 01:36:44,942
We got it all on UHF
1487
01:36:45,042 --> 01:36:46,692
UHF
1488
01:36:46,792 --> 01:36:50,109
We got it all on UHF
1489
01:36:50,209 --> 01:36:53,817
We got it all on UHF
1490
01:36:53,917 --> 01:36:56,874
We got it all on UHF
1491
01:36:56,875 --> 01:36:59,815
We got it all.