1
00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:25,447
[ROARS]
2
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:47,131
KERMIT: Pretty nice up here,
isn't it?
3
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,641
- FOZZIE: Kermit?
- Huh?
4
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:51,635
FOZZIE:
What if we drift out to sea?
5
00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:54,972
What if we're never
heard from again?
6
00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:56,727
What if there's a storm?
7
00:00:56,807 --> 00:00:59,276
Or we get struck by lightning?
8
00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:00,568
That'd be neat.
9
00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:03,272
Listen, nothing's gonna happen.
10
00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:04,652
This is just the opening credits.
11
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,904
Oh. Where are they?
12
00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:09,945
Wow!
13
00:01:11,196 --> 00:01:12,914
KERMIT:
"The Great Muppet Caper."
14
00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:14,662
FOZZIE: Nice title.
15
00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:17,786
GONZO: Whoo-wee!
16
00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:20,338
I'd like to try this
without the balloon.
17
00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:23,793
- Try what? Plummeting?
- Yeah!
18
00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:25,673
I suppose you could try it once.
19
00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:28,339
- Kermit?
- Mmm?
20
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,848
How long are these opening credits?
21
00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:33,344
Just about another minute or so.
22
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,313
My ears are popping.
23
00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:40,730
GONZO: I wonder how far you
could plummet before you blacked out.
24
00:01:41,310 --> 00:01:44,610
KERMIT: Well, don't try it, Gonzo.
We need you for this movie.
25
00:01:44,688 --> 00:01:46,281
GONZO: Sure is tempting.
26
00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:52,286
- FOZZIE: Kermit?
- Huh?
27
00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:54,911
FOZZIE: What does "BSC" stand for?
28
00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:56,371
KERMIT: I don't know.
29
00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:04,424
Gee, a lot of people
worked on this movie.
30
00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:06,627
Huh. This is nothing.
31
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:08,462
Wait till you see the end credits.
32
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:18,726
- FOZZIE: Kermit?
- Mmm?
33
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,273
FOZZIE: Are the credits over?
34
00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:22,067
KERMIT: Uh, not quite.
35
00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:26,822
FOZZIE: Nobody reads those
names anyway, do they?
36
00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:29,241
KERMIT: Sure.
They all have families.
37
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:31,447
Ah.
38
00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:33,824
That's it.
The sky is clear.
39
00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:34,951
So, okay.
40
00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:37,829
Well, now what do we do?
I mean, how does this movie start?
41
00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:40,707
- Well, we just pull that rope.
- Yes, sir!
42
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:43,672
- [AIR ESCAPING]
- [ALL SCREAM]
43
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,418
KERMIT: Ooh, we're going down!
44
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:50,546
Heads up, below!
45
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,517
[INDISTINCT TALKING]
46
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,944
What a fantastic beginning.
47
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:07,863
[HEY, A MOVIE PLAYING]
48
00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:08,939
Wow!
49
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:12,401
[SINGING] There'll be spectacle
There'll be fantasy
50
00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:13,781
There'll be derring-do
51
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,988
And stuff like you would never see
52
00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,197
Hey, a movie
53
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,658
Yeah, we're gonna be a movie
54
00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:22,745
- Starring everybody
- And me
55
00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:26,253
There'll be heroes bold
There'll be comedy
56
00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:29,756
And a lot of fuss
That ends for us real happily
57
00:03:29,835 --> 00:03:31,212
Hey, a movie
58
00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:33,547
We can watch it all develop
59
00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:35,632
Starring everybody
60
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:36,808
And me
61
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:40,262
We'll take the world
And set it on its ear
62
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:44,441
Come on, join in
We're gonna start right here
63
00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:46,393
- [BRAKES SCREECH]
- [CLUCKING]
64
00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:48,775
[GROANS]
65
00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:50,697
It's okay.
I landed on my head.
66
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,649
- Come on!
- [HORN HONKS]
67
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,485
Oh. Here, chicken!
68
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,954
Hey! Why, you...
69
00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,155
Whoa!
70
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:02,034
Hold it!
71
00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:04,870
Go ahead, Kermit.
72
00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:07,255
Thank you. See, in this film,
73
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:11,005
me and Fozzie play crack investigative
reporters for The Daily Chronicle.
74
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:14,338
And Gonzo, he's our photographer.
And it's gonna be terrific.
75
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:16,549
- [HORN HONKING]
- [ALL SCREAM]
76
00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:19,475
Boy, I wish I were you people,
seeing this for the first time.
77
00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:25,390
[SINGING] There'll be crooks and cops
78
00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:27,101
There'll be villainy
79
00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:30,654
But with us on call
We'll fix it all real easily
80
00:04:30,729 --> 00:04:32,606
Hey, a movie
81
00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:34,487
Wow, it's gonna be terrific
82
00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:36,239
Starring everybody
83
00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:37,410
And me.
84
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:40,405
- [CRUNCH]
- Argh!
85
00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:43,867
Now, what we need, guys,
is an exciting photo story.
86
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:45,918
GONZO: Right this way, young lady.
87
00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:47,587
- I'll take a picture of this chicken.
- [CLUCKING]
88
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:50,206
Beautiful.
89
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,418
- That's great, Gonzo.
- Yeah. Smile, chicky babe.
90
00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:00,976
- My jewels!
- [TIRES SCREECHING]
91
00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:02,974
That man stole my jewels!
92
00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:05,055
Help! My jewels!
93
00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:08,558
[WHISTLE WHISTLING]
94
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:16,946
Look up. Hey, do you wanna make
the front pages or not?
95
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:19,736
Kermit, I got a great picture
of the chicken.
96
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:20,821
Oh, good.
97
00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:24,408
[SINGING] There'll be mystery
and catastrophe
98
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:28,337
But it's all in fun
You paid the money, wait and see
99
00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:30,288
Hey, a movie
100
00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:32,045
ls there any way to stop it?
101
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:34,296
Starring everybody
102
00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:35,923
Everybody
103
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,424
Everybody and...
104
00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:39,176
Oh...
105
00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:43,598
Me
106
00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:49,933
[SIGHS]
107
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:53,938
- How could you miss a story like that?
- [ALL YELP]
108
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:56,777
it was right under your noses,
109
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,700
practically bit you
on the seat of the pants.
110
00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:00,027
There's just no excuse.
111
00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:03,489
I guess this would be the wrong time
to ask for a raise?
112
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:06,583
Raise? A raise?
113
00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:07,659
[LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY]
114
00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:10,249
- I'll give you a raise!
- [ALL YELP]
115
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:13,624
Did you read these headlines? Huh?
116
00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:16,172
"Jewel heist on Main Street."
117
00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:17,924
And it's nice bold print,
isn't it?
118
00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:20,381
- Yes, it's very easy to read.
- Mmm.
119
00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:22,216
Shut up now.
120
00:06:22,299 --> 00:06:23,300
Sorry.
121
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:26,637
"Lady Holiday's Jewels Stolen,"
that's what it says in The Times.
122
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,097
And here's The Herald.
123
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:31,062
"Fashion Queen of London Robbed."
124
00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:34,269
And last but not least...
125
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:35,694
[LAUGHS]
126
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:38,319
...here's our cute little banner story.
127
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:41,868
"Identical Twins
join The Chronicle staff."
128
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,537
Now, I ask you,
what paper would you buy?
129
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,491
I read the one that has "Dear Abby."
130
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:48,871
- [GROANS]
- [SHRIEKS]
131
00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:51,499
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
132
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:53,838
KERMIT: Gee, Mr. Tarkanian.
133
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,916
We thought identical twins
working on a newspaper
134
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:58,252
- would make an interesting story.
- Yeah.
135
00:06:58,335 --> 00:06:59,678
Well, it doesn't.
136
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:02,472
Especially since you two guys
don't look anything alike.
137
00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:06,264
Well, that's 'cause Fozzie's
not wearing his hat.
138
00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:10,189
- Oh, Fozzie, put your hat back on.
- Oh. Yes, sir. See?
139
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:13,600
Oh, yeah.
140
00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:14,980
I can see it now.
141
00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:17,313
But that's still no excuse
for blowing a story.
142
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:19,272
Oh, we'll do better next time.
143
00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:21,484
- Next time? Next time?
- [BOTH GASP]
144
00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:23,694
What makes you think
there's gonna be a next time?
145
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:26,246
Well, if there isn't it's gonna
be a real short movie.
146
00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:28,073
Look, the only reason
I hired you two jerks
147
00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:30,329
was because your old man
was a friend of mine.
148
00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:33,578
FOZZIE:
Dad spoke well of you, too.
149
00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:35,585
Well, I'm as sentimental
as the next guy.
150
00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:37,962
That's why I don't
want him to hear this.
151
00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:39,167
You're fired.
152
00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:40,467
[BOTH GASP]
153
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:42,341
Take that thing down off the ceiling.
154
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,297
Yeah, but, Mr. Tarkanian...
155
00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:47,225
- Gonzo.
- Check. Whoo-wee!
156
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:48,727
Won't you listen to reason, sir?
157
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:52,022
I'm not listening to anything
and I'm not giving you your job back.
158
00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:53,815
I don't want you to give us anything.
159
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:56,063
We just want to go to England
and talk to Lady Holiday
160
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:57,394
the woman who was robbed?
161
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,571
And we'll catch
those jewel thieves for you.
162
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:02,149
You see, all you have to do is
pay our way to London.
163
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:04,860
Oh! Is that all I have to do?
164
00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:05,944
[LAUGHS]
165
00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:08,246
Well, we could use some
new luggage for the trip.
166
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:09,493
- Luggage?
- [ALL YELP]
167
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,875
Now look, beat it.
I got a deadline to meet.
168
00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:13,748
But how are we gonna get to London?
169
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,079
I'll tell you what, Fozzie,
170
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:18,381
since you're such an investigative
reporter, you figure it out.
171
00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:20,129
I'm Fozzie.
172
00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:22,461
Oh, yeah, yeah. The hat. [CHUCKLES]
173
00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:28,925
Stop the presses!
174
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:31,265
Why? What happened?
175
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:34,397
I don't know.
I've always wanted to say that.
176
00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:35,940
- Look, you guys...
- [GONZO LAUGHS]
177
00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:49,613
[FARMYARD NOISES]
178
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:52,449
KERMIT: Oh, boy.
179
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,125
It must be 50 below in here.
180
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:56,915
FOZZIE: You're lucky, you have fur.
181
00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,417
KERMIT: No, no, no.
You're the one with the fur.
182
00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:00,123
Turn on your light
and see for yourself.
183
00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:04,427
Oh, yeah!
184
00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:06,175
I keep mixing us up.
185
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,387
KERMIT:
I think I'll read for a while.
186
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:14,855
- Oh, I wish I had a book.
- Hey, Kermit?
187
00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:17,899
Can you reach the hostess call button?
I'm hungry.
188
00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:21,069
- They don't serve food in ninth class.
- [GUNSHOT]
189
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:24,318
What?
$12 and you don't even get a meal?
190
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:26,616
Hey,
could you guys keep it down?
191
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,614
I'm trying to watch the movie.
192
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:29,694
[SIGHS]
193
00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:32,701
Hey, somebody's coming.
194
00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:34,533
Oh, maybe they're bringing
hamburgers.
195
00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:36,243
All out for England!
196
00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:38,203
Oh, great, the plane is landing.
197
00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:39,754
The plane?
198
00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:42,503
Nah. The plane lands in Italy.
199
00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:44,168
You land in England.
200
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:45,927
FOZZIE: Whoa!
201
00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:48,672
Kermit!
202
00:09:51,174 --> 00:09:52,426
GONZO: What's happening?
203
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:55,887
Whoopee! [LAUGHS]
204
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:01,734
FOZZIE: Geronimo!
205
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:07,941
[GONZO LAUGHS]
206
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:10,777
KERMIT: Glug!
207
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:12,783
For once the forecast was right.
208
00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:15,615
[CHUCKLES] It said it was going
to rain cats and dogs.
209
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:18,076
No, no. We're bears and frogs.
210
00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:19,251
And Gonzos.
211
00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:23,173
Whatever you are, whoever you are,
welcome to Great Britain.
212
00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:25,797
Great Britain?
We're actually in Great Britain!
213
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:29,004
Oh, no, we'll never get to England now.
214
00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:31,681
You are in England,
my furry friend.
215
00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:35,431
This sceptered isle.
This jewel of the North Atlantic.
216
00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:37,433
Oh, good.
Well, we're going to London
217
00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:40,311
and we were wondering if you
could recommend a nice hotel.
218
00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:43,234
- Actually, a cheap hotel.
- How cheap?
219
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,561
Free.
220
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:47,614
That narrows the field a bit.
221
00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:48,736
Let's see.
222
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:52,319
"Places where you can park
your carcasses."
223
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:55,201
Bus terminals. River banks.
224
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:56,452
The Happiness Hotel.
225
00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:58,875
Happiness Hotel? That sounds great.
226
00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:00,918
What's wrong with bus terminals?
227
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,589
Well, thanks a lot for your help, sir.
228
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,183
KERMIT: Hey, guys, this is London.
229
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:18,011
FOZZIE: Yeah, London! We made it!
Oh, boy!
230
00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:20,222
GONZO: Is that the Eiffel Tower?
FOZZIE: Yeah!
231
00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:22,273
KERMIT: No.
FOZZIE: No, no.
232
00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:24,980
- Hey, Kermit?
- Yeah?
233
00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:28,029
- Are bears allowed in those fountains?
- What?
234
00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:29,947
Are bears allowed in those fountains?
235
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,196
- No, I don't think so.
- I need a bath.
236
00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:34,991
FOZZIE: This is terrific.
237
00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:36,742
Wow, look at the scenery.
238
00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:39,373
GONZO: It's very realistic.
239
00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:42,285
- Hey, what's the name of this river?
- KERMIT: I don't know.
240
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:44,580
FOZZIE: I think it's the English River.
241
00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:45,834
KERMIT AND GONZO: Oh.
242
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:47,587
GONZO: I'll take a picture of it.
243
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,004
Say cheese!
244
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:51,969
FOZZIE: Oh, did I get
my elbow in the shot?
245
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,173
GONZO: Don't worry.
it adds human interest.
246
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:55,381
FOZZIE: But I'm a bear.
247
00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:57,433
Anyone for the Happiness Hotel?
248
00:11:57,508 --> 00:11:58,555
Huh?
249
00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:00,637
- Oh, Happiness Hotel!
- That's us!
250
00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:02,981
- Yes, we want the Happiness Hotel.
- Yeah.
251
00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:07,360
ALL: Argh!
252
00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:09,984
Wow.
253
00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:14,450
Boy, another crash landing.
That was terrible.
254
00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:16,994
Well, we'll just have to do it again.
255
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,664
Oh, look.
The Happiness Hotel.
256
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,412
What do you think, guys?
257
00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:22,458
FOZZIE: Wow.
258
00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:24,251
If that's the Happiness Hotel,
259
00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:27,206
I'd hate to see
what the sad one looks like.
260
00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:31,592
[DOOR CREAKS]
261
00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:33,670
[SNORING]
262
00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:43,103
KERMIT: Excuse me?
263
00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:44,438
What?
264
00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:46,141
- We'd like a room.
- [FLY BUZZING]
265
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,355
Really?
266
00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:50,695
Yeah, we'd like to check in.
267
00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:53,652
Somebody's checking in!
268
00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:54,732
[BELL DINGS]
269
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:58,160
- ALL: Somebody's checking in?
- [GUITAR STRUMMING]
270
00:12:58,236 --> 00:12:59,988
[HAPPINESS HOTEL PLAYING]
271
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,453
[SINGING]
Oh, there's no fire in the fireplace
272
00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:04,250
There's no carpet on the floor
273
00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:06,043
Don't try to order dinner
274
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,962
There's no kitchen anymore
275
00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:09,835
But if the road's been kinda bumpy
276
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:11,257
And you need to rest a spell
277
00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:14,711
Well, welcome home
To the Happiness Hotel
278
00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:23,929
- Hey, how are you guys fixing to pay?
- What are our choices?
279
00:13:24,012 --> 00:13:26,982
A, credit card. B, cash.
280
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,684
C, sneak out
in the middle of the night.
281
00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:31,440
- We'll take C.
- [FLY BUZZING]
282
00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:34,321
Very popular choice.
283
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,535
If you got luggage keep it handy
284
00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:41,203
But you're running out of luck
285
00:13:41,279 --> 00:13:43,452
'Cause the bellhops
Ain't too organized
286
00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:45,158
And the elevator's stuck
287
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:46,834
Still if you don't mind friendly animals
288
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:48,161
And can learn to stand the smell
289
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:51,748
Well, welcome home
To the Happiness Hotel
290
00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:01,262
You know, I may be mistaken,
but the bellhops look like rats.
291
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,184
You should see the chambermaids.
292
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,736
- Welcome home
- Welcome home
293
00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:19,442
- Welcome home
- Welcome home
294
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:21,198
No matter where you wander
295
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:23,120
You will never do as well
296
00:14:28,326 --> 00:14:30,374
Okay, the lobby's looking shabby
297
00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:31,545
And it's got the wrong address
298
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:34,249
And the whole dang thing
Has been condemned
299
00:14:34,332 --> 00:14:35,754
by American Express
300
00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:37,710
Still the management is cheerful
301
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:39,046
Though the whole joint's gone to hell
302
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:42,803
Well, welcome home
To the Happiness Hotel
303
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:47,061
- You guys live here?
- Yeah, but only between gigs.
304
00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:50,891
So that means we've been here
this time, what, five years?
305
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:53,067
Oh, yeah, but, like,
okay, you know,
306
00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:55,236
our agent, you know, like,
he says, I mean, like,
307
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:58,781
things are really going to break
as soon as we get our new glossies.
308
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:00,699
Argh!
309
00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:03,907
What's wrong with the drummer?
He looks a little crazed.
310
00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:05,488
Aw, he's just upset about missing
311
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,824
the Rembrandt exhibit
at the National Gallery.
312
00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:09,117
ANIMAL: Renoir!
313
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:50,582
- Oh, there are bugs
- There are bugs
314
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:52,456
- And there are lice
- There are lice
315
00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:54,208
Sure, we have our little problems
316
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:56,130
But you'll never beat the price
317
00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:57,627
You got every kind of critter
318
00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:59,801
You got every kind of pest
319
00:15:59,876 --> 00:16:01,878
But we treat 'em all as equals
320
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,838
Just like any other guest
321
00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:05,639
Though you're cleaner
than the others
322
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:06,841
Still, as far as we can tell
323
00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:10,474
You'll fit right in to the
Happiness Hotel
324
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:12,476
We'll fit right in
325
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,900
To the Happiness Hotel
326
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:16,976
Say cheese!
327
00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:20,397
[GONZO LAUGHS]
328
00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:24,738
You are all weirdos.
329
00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:27,278
Ugh.
330
00:16:27,361 --> 00:16:28,408
[STRAINING]
331
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,616
Oh, that's just fine right there.
332
00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:32,120
[CLEARS THROAT]
333
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,035
Thank you.
334
00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:38,381
Hey, not bad.
335
00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:40,883
Are you sure we can
afford this?
336
00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:43,920
Hey, Kermit,
I'm getting hungry.
337
00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:46,339
- Call room service.
- There's no phone.
338
00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:48,220
RIZZO: That's okay.
There's no food either.
339
00:16:48,299 --> 00:16:49,596
RAT: Come on, Rizzo.
340
00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:53,554
Look, why don't we forget about food
and get a good night's sleep?
341
00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:55,982
We have to get up early
to interview Lady Holiday.
342
00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:57,354
Mmm.
343
00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,310
Boy,
I sure could use something
344
00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:01,771
from one or more
of the basic food groups.
345
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:03,481
We'll have breakfast
in the morning.
346
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:05,942
Right now, let's just be
thankful we're here.
347
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,652
- [SPRINGS BOING]
- [ALL YELL]
348
00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:10,829
GONZO: [MUFFLED] Say, this is nice.
349
00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:12,745
KERMIT: [MUFFLED] Can somebody
turn out the light?
350
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:14,291
[GLASS SHATTERS]
351
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,414
Thank you.
352
00:17:18,246 --> 00:17:20,248
This is Lady Holiday.
353
00:17:20,331 --> 00:17:23,881
Milan speaking?
Then put him on.
354
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,383
Oh, yes, darling.
Yes, I'm fine. [LAUGHS]
355
00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:29,932
I had quite a scare.
Thank God I wasn't hurt.
356
00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:32,594
Of course my diamonds were valuable.
357
00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:35,100
All my diamonds are valuable.
358
00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:37,898
Now, darling, I want you to call
the United States and tell Vogue
359
00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:40,693
they can't have the photographs
of the spring line until after the show.
360
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:42,862
I'm not too happy
with some of the designs.
361
00:17:42,937 --> 00:17:45,360
Still have to make some changes.
362
00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:50,157
[MURMURS OF APPROVAL]
363
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:51,904
[YELPS]
364
00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:54,411
Well, I'm looking
at three of the gowns now
365
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:56,663
and I can see horrendous mistakes.
366
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:59,086
Of course Paris should be notified.
367
00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:02,415
Carla. The neckline on that gown
is too high, don't you think?
368
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:04,717
- I rather like the effect.
- Do you like looking like an ostrich?
369
00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:07,170
- Of course not.
- And Marla.
370
00:18:07,378 --> 00:18:08,925
Too many frills and furbelows.
371
00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:12,600
I don't think we should strive
for the fantail pigeon look, do you?
372
00:18:12,675 --> 00:18:14,348
And you, Darla.
373
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:16,395
That outfit's the pits.
374
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:18,598
Loose where it should be tight
and tight where it should be loose,
375
00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:19,898
like the folds on a turkey's neck.
376
00:18:19,974 --> 00:18:22,727
Why would I design such
atrocious-looking clothes?
377
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:23,982
Oh!
378
00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:26,481
I must be getting senile.
379
00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:28,357
WOMAN: Yes, Lady Holiday?
380
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:29,818
We have to make drastic changes
381
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:31,322
in the new line
before the show tomorrow.
382
00:18:31,402 --> 00:18:35,032
All my girls are going around
looking like barnyard animals.
383
00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:37,283
[CLEARING THROAT]
384
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,040
Good heavens. Who are you?
385
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,004
My name is Miss Piggy
386
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:49,587
and I would like to be
a high-fashion model.
387
00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:52,677
Doesn't surprise me.
388
00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:54,475
Seems to be the way we're heading.
389
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:58,521
I've always dreamed
of being a Holiday model.
390
00:18:58,596 --> 00:19:00,519
I have brought my je ne sais quoi
391
00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:03,272
and my portfolio
all the way here to London
392
00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:07,276
to see you, the one and only
Lady Holiday.
393
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:11,284
- May I come in?
- Absolutely not.
394
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:14,324
- May I show you my portfolio?
- No.
395
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:15,495
Good. Here.
396
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:16,914
You may open it.
397
00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:21,749
Ah. This is me reeking grandeur.
398
00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:23,958
Being aloof.
399
00:19:24,747 --> 00:19:26,749
[LAUGHS] Being demure.
400
00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:29,214
Ah. Daring.
401
00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:32,175
Interesting range of emotions.
402
00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:33,676
Oh, you think so?
403
00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:36,555
Well, as you can see
from this small sampling,
404
00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:38,352
modeling is my life.
405
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:41,351
It is my destiny.
I shall accept nothing less.
406
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:43,273
I can offer you a job as a receptionist.
407
00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:44,688
[SHRIEKS WITH DELIGHT]
408
00:19:44,767 --> 00:19:46,235
I'll take it! I'll take it!
409
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:48,483
Oh, thank you, thank you!
Thank you!
410
00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:50,698
Oh! Oh! Oh!
411
00:19:50,773 --> 00:19:53,401
You won't be sorry,
I promise. I can type,
412
00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:56,283
I can take shorthand,
I can make coffee.
413
00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:58,615
- Oh, I can do it all.
- Sit.
414
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:01,292
I can sit.
I'm very good at sitting.
415
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:03,290
Are you quite under control?
416
00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:05,204
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm!
417
00:20:06,497 --> 00:20:09,171
Now, I'll be lunching
with my brother Nicky.
418
00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:12,675
He's second in command here
and he's an irresponsible parasite.
419
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:14,505
But I had to bring him into the business
420
00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:16,556
because he squandered
his half of the inheritance
421
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:19,181
and he has categorically no prospects.
422
00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:20,227
Not that he's grateful.
423
00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:22,396
He still gambles and incurs bad debts,
424
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:24,394
uses my charge accounts, eats my food
425
00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:26,976
and borrows my cars
without asking permission.
426
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:30,063
And certainly he's not to be trusted.
427
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:31,568
I wouldn't even put it past him
428
00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:33,570
to try to steal my most valuable
and largest jewel,
429
00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:35,902
the fabulous Baseball Diamond.
430
00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:39,910
And I don't know why his bow ties
are always crooked.
431
00:20:39,989 --> 00:20:42,538
[SIGHS] Still, in all, he is my brother.
432
00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:44,915
Why are you telling me all this?
433
00:20:44,994 --> 00:20:47,122
It's plot exposition.
it has to go somewhere.
434
00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:50,253
Anyway, I want you to answer
the telephone while I'm gone
435
00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:52,426
and, um, straighten up the office.
436
00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:54,674
Consider it done. Mmm. Oh.
437
00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:58,508
Everything's under control.
Not to sweat. [GIGGLES]
438
00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:01,511
Carry on.
I'll be back in an hour.
439
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:05,021
Whee!
440
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:07,270
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy!
441
00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:11,149
Oh, lam going to be a famous model.
Oh, I'm so happy for me.
442
00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:15,358
Miss Piggy, you are on your way.
[GIGGLES]
443
00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:18,243
Where does Lady Holiday get off
calling me an ostrich?
444
00:21:18,319 --> 00:21:20,367
We'll get even
with Lady Holiday tonight
445
00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:21,663
when we steal her necklace.
446
00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:23,582
What are you going to wear
for the robbery?
447
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:25,625
- [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
- Shh.
448
00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:27,954
Hi.
449
00:21:28,037 --> 00:21:29,254
Hi. Hello.
450
00:21:29,872 --> 00:21:31,294
Hubba hubba!
451
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:34,089
Uh, excuse me,
where's Lady Holiday's office?
452
00:21:34,168 --> 00:21:37,092
- Round the corner, to the left.
- Oh. Thank you.
453
00:21:37,171 --> 00:21:39,640
- Did you just give directions to a frog?
- I guess I did.
454
00:21:39,715 --> 00:21:40,841
Smile.
455
00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:44,053
- [LAUGHS]
- Is that a new photographer?
456
00:21:45,054 --> 00:21:47,432
GONZO: [GROANS] Ugh.
457
00:21:47,681 --> 00:21:49,058
I think I'm stuck.
458
00:21:49,517 --> 00:21:51,190
FOZZIE: Gonzo? Gonzo!
459
00:21:51,602 --> 00:21:53,775
Gonzo. Gonzo.
460
00:21:53,854 --> 00:21:55,231
GONZO: Pull.
461
00:21:55,397 --> 00:21:56,740
[GRUNTING]
462
00:21:58,234 --> 00:21:59,861
Gonzo, are you okay?
463
00:21:59,944 --> 00:22:02,367
Oh, sure. it was just my nose.
464
00:22:02,446 --> 00:22:04,619
Hey, you guys stay here.
I'll find Lady Holiday.
465
00:22:04,698 --> 00:22:05,699
Yes, sir.
466
00:22:05,783 --> 00:22:09,538
Hey, Fozzie. Come on,
get your nose in here. It's really fun.
467
00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:19,635
Mr. Holiday? Did you order
a gross of flowered socks?
468
00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:23,183
MISS PIGGY: Oh! What an honor.
You're all so wonderful.
469
00:22:23,259 --> 00:22:26,980
Thank you for choosing moi
as model of the year.
470
00:22:27,054 --> 00:22:31,184
Oh! I never dreamed
when I first began in this business
471
00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:34,066
that I would reach such lofty heights.
472
00:22:34,144 --> 00:22:36,067
Thank you! Thank you!
473
00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:37,815
Uh, excuse me.
474
00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:43,700
So, what do you think
about the drapes, hmm?
475
00:22:43,779 --> 00:22:46,874
Personally,
I'd rather see shutters. Yes.
476
00:22:46,949 --> 00:22:48,747
And on this wall here...
477
00:22:48,826 --> 00:22:50,123
[SCREAMS]
478
00:22:53,289 --> 00:22:55,132
[WHIMPERS]
479
00:23:03,257 --> 00:23:05,476
Lady Holiday?
480
00:23:07,469 --> 00:23:09,187
Lady Holiday?
481
00:23:17,271 --> 00:23:18,648
[TWITTERING]
482
00:23:21,692 --> 00:23:23,615
Gee, are you okay?
483
00:23:23,694 --> 00:23:27,244
I don't think I'll ever be the same.
484
00:23:27,323 --> 00:23:28,666
Pardon?
485
00:23:29,658 --> 00:23:32,537
Oh. I mean,
I don't usually fall like that.
486
00:23:32,620 --> 00:23:34,497
- [CHUCKLES]
- I thought it was a very nice fall.
487
00:23:34,580 --> 00:23:36,207
It was quite graceful, actually.
488
00:23:36,290 --> 00:23:40,011
Oh, thank you, whoever you are.
489
00:23:40,085 --> 00:23:43,635
My name is Kermit the Frog
and I've come all the way from America
490
00:23:43,714 --> 00:23:45,967
to interview you for
The Daily Chronicle.
491
00:23:46,675 --> 00:23:48,928
Me? Why me?
492
00:23:49,011 --> 00:23:50,934
Oh, because you're Lady Holiday.
493
00:23:52,389 --> 00:23:53,436
Oh.
494
00:23:53,515 --> 00:23:56,860
Oh. Yeah, right.
Reason enough. [GIGGLES]
495
00:23:57,353 --> 00:23:58,479
Urn...
496
00:23:59,188 --> 00:24:00,861
You wanna help me
out of this wastebasket?
497
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,283
- Oh, yeah.
- Now just pull.
498
00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:04,827
- Okay.
- [STRAINS]
499
00:24:06,487 --> 00:24:08,489
- Harder.
- Okay.
500
00:24:08,864 --> 00:24:09,990
[BOTH STRAINING]
501
00:24:10,074 --> 00:24:11,872
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
502
00:24:12,785 --> 00:24:14,628
So, uh... Listen.
503
00:24:14,703 --> 00:24:16,501
Can I ask you a couple
of questions now?
504
00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:19,925
No, no. Um... Not here.
505
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,503
[CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY] So busy.
So much to do.
506
00:24:23,128 --> 00:24:25,802
Well, uh, perhaps
we could have dinner tonight?
507
00:24:25,881 --> 00:24:28,976
Yes. Fine. Swell. See you then.
508
00:24:29,051 --> 00:24:31,975
I'll pick you up at your house.
It must be beautiful.
509
00:24:32,054 --> 00:24:34,148
- I'm sure it is.
- Hmm?
510
00:24:34,223 --> 00:24:36,191
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
I mean, sure it is!
511
00:24:36,266 --> 00:24:37,813
Yeah.
512
00:24:37,893 --> 00:24:39,816
So, uh, where do you live?
513
00:24:41,397 --> 00:24:42,649
Urn...
514
00:24:43,273 --> 00:24:44,695
Guess!
515
00:24:45,401 --> 00:24:48,325
Probably some
highbrow street somewhere.
516
00:24:48,404 --> 00:24:50,998
Highbrow Street, absolutely right.
517
00:24:51,073 --> 00:24:52,199
Highbrow Street.
518
00:24:52,282 --> 00:24:54,284
How did you guess? Are you psychic?
519
00:24:54,368 --> 00:24:57,121
But now, guess what number.
520
00:24:57,204 --> 00:25:00,458
I don't know. Number 17?
521
00:25:00,541 --> 00:25:02,669
Yes, all right. 17 Highbrow Street.
522
00:25:02,751 --> 00:25:05,925
Okay.
I'll pick you up at, shall we say...
523
00:25:06,005 --> 00:25:07,473
- Eight o'clock?
- 5:30 p.m.?
524
00:25:07,548 --> 00:25:09,095
- 4:15 p.m.?
- 9:20 p.m.?
525
00:25:09,174 --> 00:25:11,176
BOTH: Seven o'clock.
526
00:25:11,260 --> 00:25:13,308
- Okay. That was easy.
- Yes, easy.
527
00:25:13,387 --> 00:25:16,482
- Okay, well, I'll see you later.
- Yes. 8:00.
528
00:25:16,557 --> 00:25:17,934
Seven.
529
00:25:18,017 --> 00:25:19,519
Seven, seven.
530
00:25:20,811 --> 00:25:21,937
Well, um...
531
00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:25,407
- Goodbye.
- [CHUCKLES] Yes.
532
00:25:26,525 --> 00:25:28,152
Adios, mon chéri.
533
00:25:30,988 --> 00:25:32,035
Much obliged.
534
00:25:32,823 --> 00:25:35,201
So, Kermit, tell me,
what about Lady Holiday?
535
00:25:35,284 --> 00:25:37,252
- I mean, is she pretty?
- Oh, yeah.
536
00:25:37,327 --> 00:25:38,954
- Mmm-hmm.
- Not at all what I expected.
537
00:25:39,038 --> 00:25:41,040
- Ah.
- Nice eyes, sturdy legs.
538
00:25:41,123 --> 00:25:45,128
And it might have been my imagination,
but, uh, I think she found me attractive.
539
00:25:45,586 --> 00:25:47,179
Oh. Uh, taxi!
540
00:25:47,254 --> 00:25:49,256
Well, of course
she found you attractive.
541
00:25:49,339 --> 00:25:50,431
It runs in the family.
542
00:25:50,507 --> 00:25:53,010
Taxi! Taxi!
543
00:25:54,261 --> 00:25:55,888
I don't know why
the cabs won't stop.
544
00:25:55,971 --> 00:25:58,474
Just leave it to me.
545
00:25:59,266 --> 00:26:00,609
Taxi!
546
00:26:00,684 --> 00:26:01,685
[TIRES SCREECH]
547
00:26:01,769 --> 00:26:02,770
[BOTH YELL]
548
00:26:02,853 --> 00:26:04,070
[GULPS]
549
00:26:04,438 --> 00:26:06,987
That's very effective.
550
00:26:07,983 --> 00:26:10,077
Yeah, it's great when it works.
551
00:26:10,486 --> 00:26:13,330
Did you want me to stop or what?
552
00:26:13,405 --> 00:26:14,952
KERMIT: Thank you very much, sir.
553
00:26:15,032 --> 00:26:17,251
Oh, you can call me Beauregard.
554
00:26:17,326 --> 00:26:20,375
- Where are you guys going?
- Uh, the Happiness Hotel.
555
00:26:20,454 --> 00:26:23,879
Oh, good, that's where I'm going.
How do you get there?
556
00:26:23,957 --> 00:26:27,257
- Haven't you ever been there?
- Of course. I live there.
557
00:26:27,336 --> 00:26:29,430
- [ENGINE REVVING]
- I just don't know how to get there.
558
00:26:29,838 --> 00:26:32,261
KERMIT: It's straight down this street.
BEAUREGARD: Okay.
559
00:26:32,591 --> 00:26:34,343
- [TIRES SCREECH]
- [ALL SCREAM]
560
00:26:35,761 --> 00:26:37,013
Whoa!
561
00:26:37,221 --> 00:26:39,599
Okay. Good.
Now just keep going straight.
562
00:26:39,681 --> 00:26:41,183
Will do.
563
00:26:42,059 --> 00:26:43,276
- [TIRES SCREECH]
- [ALL SCREAM]
564
00:26:43,352 --> 00:26:45,025
[HORN BLARING]
565
00:26:47,523 --> 00:26:49,867
it takes a while to
get to know the town.
566
00:26:49,942 --> 00:26:53,287
- How long have you lived in London?
- All my life.
567
00:26:53,362 --> 00:26:55,660
How come you don't have
an English accent?
568
00:26:55,739 --> 00:26:57,833
Hey, I'm lucky to have
a driver's license.
569
00:26:58,450 --> 00:26:59,872
[ALL SCREAM]
570
00:27:07,376 --> 00:27:09,925
Hey, it's just up ahead
there on the right.
571
00:27:10,003 --> 00:27:11,004
What is?
572
00:27:11,088 --> 00:27:14,058
- The Happiness Hotel.
- Oh, yeah.
573
00:27:14,133 --> 00:27:16,181
What's your room number?
574
00:27:16,260 --> 00:27:18,979
I don't know.
We're on the second floor.
575
00:27:19,054 --> 00:27:20,101
Oh, I'm sorry.
576
00:27:20,180 --> 00:27:22,649
I can only take you as far as the lobby.
577
00:27:23,851 --> 00:27:25,478
[HORNS BLARE]
578
00:27:25,727 --> 00:27:27,320
[ALL SCREAM]
579
00:27:28,188 --> 00:27:29,189
Whee!
580
00:27:32,109 --> 00:27:33,611
[GONZO LAUGHS]
581
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:37,953
[GLASS SHATTERING]
582
00:27:39,241 --> 00:27:40,333
[SIGHS]
583
00:27:40,492 --> 00:27:43,746
[SCOFFS] You can never find a cab
when you need one.
584
00:27:43,912 --> 00:27:45,414
[LAUGHS]
585
00:27:45,497 --> 00:27:47,966
Whoo-whee! Can we do that again?
586
00:27:48,041 --> 00:27:49,918
Well, thank you very much,
Beauregard.
587
00:27:50,002 --> 00:27:52,505
You're welcome.
Hey, how do I get out of here?
588
00:27:52,588 --> 00:27:54,465
I suggest you make a U-turn.
589
00:27:55,424 --> 00:27:56,596
Hmm, right.
590
00:27:58,510 --> 00:27:59,762
[REVS ENGINE]
591
00:28:00,762 --> 00:28:02,264
MAN: He's headed for the kitchen!
592
00:28:02,931 --> 00:28:04,103
KERMIT: Oh, no!
593
00:28:05,350 --> 00:28:06,897
[HENS CLUCKING]
594
00:28:12,816 --> 00:28:15,285
[SPEAKS MOCK SWEDISH]
595
00:28:16,945 --> 00:28:20,040
Well, looks like steering wheel souffle
for dinner.
596
00:28:20,115 --> 00:28:21,492
Again?
597
00:28:22,284 --> 00:28:24,412
If you'll excuse me,
I'm going out to dinner.
598
00:28:24,494 --> 00:28:27,213
That's right.
Kermit's got a date with Lady Holiday.
599
00:28:27,289 --> 00:28:31,044
- You don't have to tell everybody.
- [WHISPERS] Oh. Right.
600
00:28:31,126 --> 00:28:33,595
Pops, don't tell anybody.
Kermit's got a date with Lady Holiday.
601
00:28:34,463 --> 00:28:36,886
[LOUDLY] Kermit's got a date
with Lady Holiday?
602
00:28:36,965 --> 00:28:40,310
Oh, wow.
Wait till I tell the guys in the band.
603
00:28:40,385 --> 00:28:43,389
- Tell us what?
- Yeah, what's going down?
604
00:28:43,472 --> 00:28:45,895
[SPEAKS MOCK SWEDISH]
605
00:28:45,974 --> 00:28:49,069
Kermit and Lady Holiday? All right!
606
00:28:49,144 --> 00:28:50,942
[ALL CHAT EXCITEDLY]
607
00:28:54,441 --> 00:28:56,239
Fozzie,
this is all very embarrassing.
608
00:28:56,318 --> 00:28:59,572
Kermit, don't worry.
it won't go outside this room.
609
00:28:59,655 --> 00:29:01,908
Here is a Muppet news flash.
610
00:29:01,990 --> 00:29:05,711
Kermit the Frog to date Lady Holiday.
Details at 11:00.
611
00:29:13,627 --> 00:29:15,425
Smile. [LAUGHS]
612
00:29:16,588 --> 00:29:18,090
Local poultry.
613
00:29:18,173 --> 00:29:19,891
[HUMS]
614
00:29:25,138 --> 00:29:26,390
Boy, it's a good thing
you didn't tell everybody
615
00:29:26,473 --> 00:29:28,100
where Lady Holiday lives,
616
00:29:28,183 --> 00:29:30,277
otherwise they'd all
be camped on her doorstep.
617
00:29:30,352 --> 00:29:33,777
That is just for you
and me to know, brother.
618
00:29:33,855 --> 00:29:37,280
We are going to have ourselves
a time tonight.
619
00:29:37,359 --> 00:29:38,702
Wacka wacka.
620
00:29:38,777 --> 00:29:40,245
"We"? What do you mean "we"?
621
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:41,822
The two of us. You missed a spot.
622
00:29:41,905 --> 00:29:44,283
Anyway. When we get there tonight,
just act naturally.
623
00:29:44,366 --> 00:29:47,040
Oh, no, no. Wait a second,
wait a second. It's when I get there.
624
00:29:47,119 --> 00:29:48,962
This is my date with Lady Holiday.
625
00:29:49,037 --> 00:29:52,291
I'm going alone.
So it's "me" not "we."
626
00:29:52,874 --> 00:29:53,921
Oh.
627
00:29:54,001 --> 00:29:56,754
I see. Fine.
628
00:29:57,671 --> 00:29:59,969
Boy, I wish I had whiskers.
629
00:30:00,048 --> 00:30:02,050
Of course, then I'd have to use a blade.
630
00:30:02,134 --> 00:30:04,228
- Kermit? Turn around.
- Hmm?
631
00:30:05,053 --> 00:30:08,683
Are you really going
to go without me tonight?
632
00:30:09,016 --> 00:30:13,112
Well, Fozzie, I figure this is something
that I have to do alone.
633
00:30:14,771 --> 00:30:16,990
- No problem.
- Oh, good.
634
00:30:17,065 --> 00:30:19,614
- Just hand me my cuff links.
- Yes, sir.
635
00:30:19,693 --> 00:30:21,787
[SINGING] And straighten my tie
636
00:30:21,862 --> 00:30:24,115
Just drench me in rich cologne
637
00:30:24,239 --> 00:30:25,786
And don't ask me why
638
00:30:25,866 --> 00:30:26,833
[COUGHS]
639
00:30:26,908 --> 00:30:29,206
Go on and pluck me
a boutonniére
640
00:30:29,286 --> 00:30:31,584
You're moving up and walking on air
641
00:30:31,913 --> 00:30:35,463
Steppin' out with a star
And feeling high
642
00:30:37,002 --> 00:30:39,255
Come polish my wing tips
643
00:30:39,338 --> 00:30:41,761
- And call for the car
-[WHISTLES]
644
00:30:42,424 --> 00:30:46,770
I'll sweep her right off
Her feet wherever we are
645
00:30:47,387 --> 00:30:49,856
A satin collar and velvet vest
646
00:30:49,931 --> 00:30:52,525
I never settle for second best
647
00:30:52,601 --> 00:30:55,946
Steppin' out with a star
Sad times, bye-bye
648
00:30:56,021 --> 00:30:58,865
Have I got style? Mmm!
649
00:30:58,940 --> 00:31:01,363
Have I got taste? Mmm!
650
00:31:02,652 --> 00:31:04,871
On someone else, I swear
651
00:31:04,946 --> 00:31:07,574
This savoir-faire
Would be such a waste
652
00:31:13,622 --> 00:31:14,965
Come toss me my top hat
653
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:16,041
Yes, sir!
654
00:31:16,124 --> 00:31:17,876
I'm ready to fly
655
00:31:18,418 --> 00:31:20,216
Busting into the upper crust
656
00:31:20,295 --> 00:31:23,139
As easy as pie
657
00:31:23,256 --> 00:31:25,975
Just watch my dreams come true
658
00:31:26,051 --> 00:31:28,179
This is something I was born to do
659
00:31:28,261 --> 00:31:32,107
Steppin' out with a star
That star is you
660
00:31:35,811 --> 00:31:37,154
[HUMS]
661
00:31:51,076 --> 00:31:53,124
[SHADOW CONTINUES HUMMING]
662
00:31:55,205 --> 00:31:57,503
- Have you got class?
- Have I got class?
663
00:31:57,582 --> 00:31:59,755
- Have you got chic?
- Have I got chic?
664
00:31:59,835 --> 00:32:02,964
To think that you and me were nobody
665
00:32:03,046 --> 00:32:04,673
Why, only last week
666
00:32:04,756 --> 00:32:05,803
Hey, guys!
667
00:32:07,676 --> 00:32:08,677
[GONZO LAUGHS]
668
00:32:10,804 --> 00:32:11,896
[EXCLAIMS]
669
00:32:12,305 --> 00:32:14,524
I'm ready to fly
670
00:32:16,852 --> 00:32:19,526
- Kermit!
- At least I can try.
671
00:32:20,230 --> 00:32:22,653
Just watch my dreams come true
672
00:32:22,732 --> 00:32:25,076
This is something I was born to do
673
00:32:25,152 --> 00:32:27,701
Steppin' out with a star
Bye, bad times
674
00:32:27,779 --> 00:32:30,157
Steppin' out with a star
Hey, good times
675
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:36,464
Steppin' out with a star
And feeling high
676
00:32:37,164 --> 00:32:38,211
Yeah!
677
00:32:39,291 --> 00:32:41,840
Well, how do I look?
678
00:32:42,419 --> 00:32:44,296
Which one are you?
679
00:32:44,379 --> 00:32:46,928
- I'm the one on the right.
- Oh.
680
00:32:47,007 --> 00:32:50,557
Well, you look like you're gonna
have a terrific time.
681
00:32:50,635 --> 00:32:52,558
Without me.
682
00:32:53,889 --> 00:32:56,733
- Fozzie?
- What?
683
00:32:57,350 --> 00:32:58,602
You can come.
684
00:32:59,978 --> 00:33:01,730
- You mean it?
- Mmm-hmm.
685
00:33:01,813 --> 00:33:03,065
Oh, boy!
686
00:33:04,316 --> 00:33:06,489
Great news, gang. We can go!
687
00:33:06,568 --> 00:33:08,070
[ALL CHEERING]
688
00:33:28,423 --> 00:33:30,517
- [MILK BOTTLES CLATTER]
- [SHRIEKS]
689
00:33:30,592 --> 00:33:32,265
[GRUNTS]
690
00:33:52,864 --> 00:33:55,208
Awfully disappointing weather today.
691
00:33:55,700 --> 00:33:56,701
Hmm?
692
00:33:57,786 --> 00:34:00,665
The weather.
Awfully disappointing today.
693
00:34:00,747 --> 00:34:01,873
Is it, is it?
694
00:34:01,957 --> 00:34:05,382
Yes. Mmm, yes, yes.
I know what you mean.
695
00:34:13,093 --> 00:34:14,891
It was rather disappointing yesterday.
696
00:34:15,971 --> 00:34:17,473
And the day before.
697
00:34:20,141 --> 00:34:21,393
[GLASS SHATTERS]
698
00:34:22,978 --> 00:34:24,400
[GRUNTING]
699
00:34:26,147 --> 00:34:27,774
What is it, Neville?
700
00:34:27,857 --> 00:34:29,825
[GRUNTING AND STRAINING]
701
00:34:32,112 --> 00:34:33,329
Urn...
702
00:34:35,156 --> 00:34:36,658
Pig, um...
703
00:34:37,367 --> 00:34:40,166
Climbing up the outside
of the house, dear.
704
00:34:40,996 --> 00:34:41,997
Oh.
705
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:43,457
[STRAINING]
706
00:34:53,091 --> 00:34:56,265
Next time they want stunts,
they get a double.
707
00:34:56,886 --> 00:34:59,184
The day before that
was awfully disappointing, too.
708
00:34:59,264 --> 00:35:00,436
Mmm.
709
00:35:01,057 --> 00:35:03,526
And of course the weekend
was perfectly frightful.
710
00:35:04,060 --> 00:35:05,186
Never stopped raining.
711
00:35:06,021 --> 00:35:07,364
[STRAINING]
712
00:35:15,530 --> 00:35:17,953
- Neville?
- Hmm?
713
00:35:18,033 --> 00:35:20,912
- Am I boring you?
- What, dear?
714
00:35:20,994 --> 00:35:25,545
- I said, "Am I boring you"?
- Boring me? [STRAINED LAUGH]
715
00:35:25,624 --> 00:35:26,967
Oh, that's a good one.
716
00:35:27,042 --> 00:35:29,010
I'm having the time of my life, dear.
717
00:35:30,378 --> 00:35:31,971
Neville, did you say
718
00:35:32,047 --> 00:35:35,301
a pig was climbing up
the outside of the house?
719
00:35:37,969 --> 00:35:40,722
Yes. Yes. Yes, I believe I did, yes.
720
00:35:40,805 --> 00:35:42,102
I thought so.
721
00:35:42,182 --> 00:35:44,981
NEVILLE: Oh, you'd have to look
a long way to find a chap
722
00:35:45,060 --> 00:35:46,903
- who was more, urn...
- [STRAINING]
723
00:35:47,437 --> 00:35:49,439
- [PANTING]
- Stimulated than I am, yes.
724
00:35:49,522 --> 00:35:51,399
- Oh, dear me, no, no, no.
- [SCREAMS]
725
00:35:52,359 --> 00:35:58,537
The last time I was bored,
and never by you, my little armada...
726
00:35:58,615 --> 00:36:00,913
- What was that?
- Just making a point, dear.
727
00:36:00,992 --> 00:36:03,996
I mean, if I was bored I'd go out
and buy something, wouldn't I?
728
00:36:04,079 --> 00:36:06,832
Like cheese or quails' eggs.
729
00:36:06,915 --> 00:36:10,260
- Hmm, something like that.
- Yes, I suppose you would.
730
00:36:10,335 --> 00:36:12,508
Yes, of course I would, dear.
731
00:36:12,587 --> 00:36:15,306
That's the sort of spur-of-the-moment
fellow I am.
732
00:36:15,382 --> 00:36:16,679
What?
733
00:36:19,302 --> 00:36:20,849
Uh, what, dear?
734
00:36:20,929 --> 00:36:23,273
What would you buy if you were bored?
735
00:36:24,140 --> 00:36:26,609
Ah! Uh...
736
00:36:29,979 --> 00:36:32,277
A jar of calf's-foot jelly?
737
00:36:35,777 --> 00:36:38,246
I'd like to come with you
and help you pick one out.
738
00:36:38,321 --> 00:36:40,164
Oh, that isn't necessary, Dorcas.
739
00:36:40,240 --> 00:36:41,583
There's no need
for you to leave the house.
740
00:36:41,658 --> 00:36:43,001
DORCAS: I wouldn't mind.
741
00:36:43,076 --> 00:36:45,329
Haven't been outside for 12 years.
742
00:36:45,412 --> 00:36:48,040
Well, the weather's been
most disappointing.
743
00:36:48,123 --> 00:36:50,876
Still, there's no reason for me to stay
here all the time.
744
00:36:50,959 --> 00:36:53,428
The children are gone,
the pets are dead,
745
00:36:53,503 --> 00:36:55,881
the butler's been discharged,
no one ever visits us.
746
00:36:57,173 --> 00:36:58,800
[RINGS DOORBELL]
747
00:37:10,645 --> 00:37:12,522
That was the doorbell, Neville.
748
00:37:14,149 --> 00:37:17,744
So it was.
And the butler's dead?
749
00:37:17,819 --> 00:37:20,242
- [DOORBELL RINGS]
- DORCAS: No, no, no.
750
00:37:20,321 --> 00:37:23,871
The pets are dead.
The butler's been discharged.
751
00:37:24,617 --> 00:37:25,709
Ah.
752
00:37:25,785 --> 00:37:27,287
[DOORBELL CONTINUES RINGING]
753
00:37:28,204 --> 00:37:30,332
I think one of us should answer it,
Neville.
754
00:37:30,415 --> 00:37:32,088
Oh, do you?
755
00:37:32,167 --> 00:37:34,966
- Or we could both answer it.
- [LAUGHS]
756
00:37:35,044 --> 00:37:38,423
Come, dear, I hardly think it's
necessary for both of us to...
757
00:37:38,506 --> 00:37:40,224
I'll answer it!
758
00:37:46,222 --> 00:37:48,395
I thought you said the pets were dead.
759
00:37:50,226 --> 00:37:52,775
- Hello.
- Uh...
760
00:37:52,854 --> 00:37:54,401
This is for you.
761
00:37:54,481 --> 00:37:57,109
Oh, thank you.
762
00:37:57,192 --> 00:37:59,115
Shall we go?
763
00:37:59,194 --> 00:38:03,165
You know, I've never been inside
a real ritzy English house before.
764
00:38:05,533 --> 00:38:08,662
- Aren't you hungry?
- Sure, but we've got a few minutes.
765
00:38:09,370 --> 00:38:12,044
Okay, let's take a few minutes.
766
00:38:13,875 --> 00:38:15,969
Say, nice place you got here.
767
00:38:16,044 --> 00:38:18,342
Yes. I practically stole it.
768
00:38:19,506 --> 00:38:22,476
Um, let me show you around.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
769
00:38:22,550 --> 00:38:24,143
Who was that guy back there?
770
00:38:24,219 --> 00:38:26,642
- Just some sort of servant.
- Mmm-hmm.
771
00:38:26,721 --> 00:38:28,769
Um, this, of course,
is the drawing room.
772
00:38:28,848 --> 00:38:30,896
Mmm-hmm.
Did you decorate this place yourself?
773
00:38:31,392 --> 00:38:32,393
[SCREAMS]
774
00:38:33,019 --> 00:38:35,772
MISS PIGGY: I'll just close the door.
It's very drafty.
775
00:38:37,732 --> 00:38:41,032
Uh, there's a chair and some walls.
776
00:38:41,110 --> 00:38:43,033
- A whirlwind tour, huh?
- Yes.
777
00:38:43,112 --> 00:38:47,083
- This is the bedroom and, uh... Bath.
- Mmm-hmm.
778
00:38:48,201 --> 00:38:50,750
MISS PIGGY: We have
hot and cold running water.
779
00:38:50,829 --> 00:38:53,708
There's probably a bathtub
and everything.
780
00:38:54,582 --> 00:38:56,004
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
781
00:38:57,460 --> 00:38:59,053
Oh, here.
I want to show you something.
782
00:38:59,128 --> 00:39:01,426
This is the closet.
783
00:39:02,590 --> 00:39:05,218
Nice. Dark but nice.
784
00:39:05,301 --> 00:39:06,928
[MISS PIGGY LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
785
00:39:11,933 --> 00:39:13,731
Ah. Sorry.
786
00:39:16,563 --> 00:39:20,784
Uh, don't think me rude, but is there,
in fact, anything I can do for you at all?
787
00:39:24,988 --> 00:39:26,160
Urn...
788
00:39:27,115 --> 00:39:30,039
Yes. Yes, yes. Ahem.
789
00:39:30,118 --> 00:39:33,338
You may suggest a nice restaurant.
790
00:39:33,413 --> 00:39:35,916
Ah. Well,
there's the Dubonnet Club.
791
00:39:35,999 --> 00:39:38,878
Actually that's not so much a
restaurant, more a supper club.
792
00:39:39,085 --> 00:39:41,759
Ah. Thank you, Jeeves.
793
00:39:41,838 --> 00:39:43,966
No time for cocktails.
794
00:39:44,048 --> 00:39:45,425
Evening.
795
00:39:52,307 --> 00:39:54,401
Why are you staring
into the closet, Neville?
796
00:39:54,475 --> 00:39:57,900
Ah, you recall that pig I mentioned?
797
00:39:57,979 --> 00:39:59,572
The one that was climbing up the side
of the house?
798
00:39:59,647 --> 00:40:01,320
That's the chap.
That's the chap.
799
00:40:01,399 --> 00:40:02,742
Yes, I seem to recall that.
800
00:40:02,817 --> 00:40:04,194
Well, he was in there just now,
801
00:40:04,277 --> 00:40:06,154
along with a... A lizard.
802
00:40:06,237 --> 00:40:08,956
I see. And what did they want?
803
00:40:09,032 --> 00:40:11,785
Name of a good restaurant.
I told them the Dubonnet Club.
804
00:40:11,868 --> 00:40:14,087
That's more of a supper club
than a restaurant.
805
00:40:14,162 --> 00:40:16,381
Yes, well, I tried to tell them that.
806
00:40:16,456 --> 00:40:17,799
Don't blame yourself.
807
00:40:17,874 --> 00:40:20,844
No. No.
808
00:40:21,169 --> 00:40:22,671
[ALL LAUGHING]
809
00:40:23,755 --> 00:40:25,428
Hey! There they are!
810
00:40:25,506 --> 00:40:26,507
MUPPET: Whee!
811
00:40:26,591 --> 00:40:29,060
Kermit and his new flame.
812
00:40:29,135 --> 00:40:30,887
- Hubba hubba.
- Ding ding!
813
00:40:32,013 --> 00:40:33,185
[BOTH LAUGH NERVOUSLY]
814
00:40:33,264 --> 00:40:36,359
You'll have to jump in the front seat.
815
00:40:36,434 --> 00:40:38,937
The back seat's been quarantined.
816
00:40:39,354 --> 00:40:40,776
[ENGINE STARTS]
817
00:40:40,855 --> 00:40:44,280
FLOYD: Let's hit the road.
How about a little traveling music?
818
00:40:44,359 --> 00:40:46,111
JANICE: For sure. A love song.
819
00:40:46,194 --> 00:40:48,117
ANIMAL: Love song, love song.
820
00:40:48,196 --> 00:40:49,322
FLOYD: Hit it!
821
00:40:50,198 --> 00:40:51,324
[NIGHT LIFE PLAYING]
822
00:40:51,407 --> 00:40:52,909
[SCATTING]
823
00:40:56,287 --> 00:40:57,880
DR. TEETH: [SINGING]
Give me my good friends
824
00:40:57,956 --> 00:40:59,458
And play me my music
825
00:40:59,540 --> 00:41:03,295
Yeah, give me my night life
826
00:41:03,378 --> 00:41:06,302
Talk me that guitar
And roll me that boogie
827
00:41:06,381 --> 00:41:08,554
Yeah, give me my night life
828
00:41:11,094 --> 00:41:12,641
Are these your friends?
829
00:41:12,720 --> 00:41:14,347
Just the ones on the fenders.
830
00:41:17,016 --> 00:41:18,734
[SINGING GIBBERISH]
831
00:41:19,143 --> 00:41:23,239
Sing me the good times
'Cause I need the feeling
832
00:41:23,314 --> 00:41:25,692
Yeah, give me that night life
833
00:41:30,279 --> 00:41:31,656
[CHEERING]
834
00:41:33,491 --> 00:41:34,993
[HORN BLARING]
835
00:41:38,621 --> 00:41:42,296
Give me my nightlife
836
00:41:42,458 --> 00:41:44,005
Whoo, yeah!
837
00:41:46,254 --> 00:41:49,508
Give me my nightlife
838
00:41:50,174 --> 00:41:51,596
[ALL CHEERING]
839
00:41:51,676 --> 00:41:54,020
They don't have to play this loud.
840
00:41:54,095 --> 00:41:56,223
Oh, that's okay. They don't mind.
841
00:41:58,766 --> 00:42:01,690
Sing me the good times
'Cause I need the feeling
842
00:42:01,769 --> 00:42:04,648
Give me my nightlife
843
00:42:05,940 --> 00:42:07,442
[ROARS]
844
00:42:07,525 --> 00:42:09,448
Give me my nightlife
845
00:42:15,742 --> 00:42:17,244
[ALL LAUGHING]
846
00:42:17,702 --> 00:42:19,329
[BAND PLAYING JAZZ]
847
00:42:37,305 --> 00:42:38,648
Boy, a classy place like this,
848
00:42:38,723 --> 00:42:40,350
you'd think they'd have
pretzels on the table.
849
00:42:41,142 --> 00:42:42,644
[FORCED LAUGH]
850
00:42:43,644 --> 00:42:46,113
Well, what a delightful menu.
851
00:42:46,689 --> 00:42:47,736
[GASPS]
852
00:42:47,815 --> 00:42:48,907
What?
853
00:42:48,983 --> 00:42:51,327
[CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY]
Nothing. It's just sort of amusing
854
00:42:51,402 --> 00:42:54,155
that the roast beef
is the same price as an Oldsmobile.
855
00:42:55,782 --> 00:42:58,126
You come here often, Lady Holiday?
856
00:42:58,201 --> 00:43:01,080
Oh, only on special occasions.
857
00:43:01,162 --> 00:43:03,460
And this is very special,
Kermie.
858
00:43:04,123 --> 00:43:06,217
Waiter! Champagne, caviar.
859
00:43:06,793 --> 00:43:09,967
Hey, hey, Kermit.
How are we gonna pay for this?
860
00:43:10,546 --> 00:43:12,389
You got about 1,600 bucks on you?
861
00:43:12,465 --> 00:43:14,809
Hey, relax, Kermit.
I'll take care of it.
862
00:43:19,388 --> 00:43:20,389
[LAUGHS]
863
00:43:20,473 --> 00:43:23,397
Say cheese! [LAUGHS]
864
00:43:23,476 --> 00:43:25,820
There you go, folks.
Souvenir photograph.
865
00:43:25,895 --> 00:43:28,648
Just gimme your name and address
and ten bucks.
866
00:43:35,530 --> 00:43:37,453
Good evening, Lady Holiday.
867
00:43:37,532 --> 00:43:39,830
- Such a pleasure to see you.
- Thank you, Stanley.
868
00:43:39,909 --> 00:43:42,628
Why, what a lovely diamond necklace.
869
00:43:43,287 --> 00:43:45,460
It is rather breathtaking, isn't it?
870
00:43:45,540 --> 00:43:47,463
I thought it
a little outré,
871
00:43:47,542 --> 00:43:49,715
but my brother Nicky insisted
that I wear it.
872
00:43:50,711 --> 00:43:52,133
Your table, Lady Holiday.
873
00:43:52,213 --> 00:43:53,715
Thank you, Stanley.
Give Stanley a tip, Nicky.
874
00:43:53,798 --> 00:43:55,766
For complimenting you
on your necklace?
875
00:43:55,842 --> 00:43:57,515
No, because it is customary.
876
00:43:57,593 --> 00:44:00,312
- I don't have any change.
- Then give him something bigger.
877
00:44:00,388 --> 00:44:01,480
Bigger?
878
00:44:01,556 --> 00:44:03,149
I left my wallet at home.
879
00:44:03,224 --> 00:44:05,318
You left your wallet in college.
880
00:44:05,393 --> 00:44:06,360
How about you, folks?
881
00:44:06,435 --> 00:44:08,563
- Souvenir photograph?
- No thanks. No picture.
882
00:44:08,938 --> 00:44:11,657
Aw, come on. It'll be a great memento
for you and your wife.
883
00:44:11,732 --> 00:44:13,985
My wife isn't feeling very well.
884
00:44:14,068 --> 00:44:16,571
Oh, that's too bad.
Maybe she should be at home.
885
00:44:16,654 --> 00:44:18,156
My wife is at home.
886
00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:19,365
[BABBLES]
887
00:44:19,448 --> 00:44:21,667
Yes. Next table!
888
00:44:30,376 --> 00:44:32,378
That caviar was yummy.
889
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:35,139
Mwah!
Love those fish eggs!
890
00:44:35,882 --> 00:44:37,225
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
891
00:44:37,508 --> 00:44:40,637
- Uh, Lady Holiday?
- Oh. Yes?
892
00:44:40,720 --> 00:44:43,189
Uh, can we talk about
the jewel robbery now?
893
00:44:43,264 --> 00:44:45,687
Oh, Kermit.
Let us not talk business.
894
00:44:45,766 --> 00:44:49,020
Music is in the air,
the night is young,
895
00:44:49,103 --> 00:44:50,776
and I'm so beautiful.
896
00:44:51,939 --> 00:44:53,407
What jewel robbery?
897
00:44:53,482 --> 00:44:56,110
Uh, your jewels.
The ones that were stolen.
898
00:44:56,194 --> 00:44:59,289
You know, you have lovely eyes.
899
00:45:09,957 --> 00:45:14,133
You know, if you put enough sugar in this
stuff, it tastes just like ginger ale.
900
00:45:16,255 --> 00:45:19,259
Catch you later, Stanley.
901
00:45:19,342 --> 00:45:20,468
Aren't you happy we're here?
902
00:45:20,551 --> 00:45:24,397
I have grave doubts about
wearing these jewels.
903
00:45:24,472 --> 00:45:26,645
I feel as if thieves were
breathing down my neck.
904
00:45:26,724 --> 00:45:28,442
Thieves aren't
breathing down your neck.
905
00:45:28,517 --> 00:45:30,064
- I want to put them in a safe.
- No.
906
00:45:30,144 --> 00:45:31,521
- Yes.
- Yes, I meant yes.
907
00:45:31,604 --> 00:45:33,652
Why would I say no when I meant yes?
908
00:45:33,731 --> 00:45:35,449
- Go and see Stanley.
- Go and see Stanley?
909
00:45:35,524 --> 00:45:37,276
Go and see Stanley immediately.
910
00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:38,737
All right.
If that's what you want.
911
00:45:40,404 --> 00:45:41,906
And don't forget to tip him.
912
00:45:41,989 --> 00:45:43,957
Tip. Tip.
913
00:46:38,087 --> 00:46:39,430
[APPLAUSE]
914
00:46:42,508 --> 00:46:44,931
[THE FIRST TIME IT HAPPENS PLAYING]
915
00:46:55,104 --> 00:46:58,734
[SINGING] The first time you see her
916
00:46:58,816 --> 00:47:02,320
No bolt from the blue
917
00:47:02,403 --> 00:47:05,782
Just something so quiet
918
00:47:05,865 --> 00:47:09,915
Yet waiting for you
919
00:47:09,994 --> 00:47:13,544
With no one to tell you
920
00:47:13,622 --> 00:47:16,922
That you've got to go
921
00:47:17,001 --> 00:47:21,632
The first time it happens, you know
922
00:47:24,717 --> 00:47:28,096
The first time you see her
923
00:47:28,179 --> 00:47:31,774
No magical change
924
00:47:31,849 --> 00:47:35,353
No angels appearing
925
00:47:35,436 --> 00:47:39,566
No dreams to arrange
926
00:47:39,648 --> 00:47:42,868
Just warmer and colder
927
00:47:42,943 --> 00:47:46,538
Than springtime or snow
928
00:47:46,614 --> 00:47:51,245
The first time it happens, you know
929
00:47:53,037 --> 00:47:57,417
And so you fall
930
00:47:57,500 --> 00:48:00,470
And how complete it is
931
00:48:00,544 --> 00:48:05,050
And for each moment that it lasts
932
00:48:05,132 --> 00:48:08,386
How sweet it is
933
00:48:08,469 --> 00:48:12,099
The first time together
934
00:48:12,181 --> 00:48:15,731
How simple, how rare
935
00:48:15,810 --> 00:48:18,108
And just when you thought
936
00:48:18,187 --> 00:48:22,818
You'd forgot how to care
937
00:48:23,359 --> 00:48:26,784
And though you feel much more
938
00:48:26,862 --> 00:48:30,492
Than you dare to show
939
00:48:30,574 --> 00:48:36,377
The first time it happens, you know
940
00:48:40,418 --> 00:48:42,512
Wow. She's fantastic.
941
00:48:48,050 --> 00:48:51,429
The first time you see her
942
00:48:51,512 --> 00:48:54,937
No magical change
943
00:48:55,015 --> 00:48:58,110
No angels appearing
944
00:48:58,185 --> 00:49:01,564
No dreams to arrange
945
00:49:01,689 --> 00:49:04,943
Just warmer and colder
946
00:49:05,025 --> 00:49:08,199
Than springtime or snow
947
00:49:08,279 --> 00:49:12,625
The first time it happens, you know
948
00:49:12,700 --> 00:49:14,122
What a great number!
949
00:49:20,708 --> 00:49:21,709
Nicky?
950
00:49:21,792 --> 00:49:24,295
That's my new receptionist
dancing out there.
951
00:49:24,378 --> 00:49:25,721
- Which one?
- The pig.
952
00:49:30,426 --> 00:49:32,178
She's sensational.
953
00:49:32,261 --> 00:49:34,764
Forty-five words a minute.
About average.
954
00:49:35,389 --> 00:49:36,766
[VOCALIZING]
955
00:49:48,402 --> 00:49:50,746
And just when you thought
956
00:49:50,821 --> 00:49:54,325
You'd forgot how to care
957
00:49:54,408 --> 00:49:56,831
For the first time
958
00:49:56,911 --> 00:49:59,630
For the first time
959
00:49:59,830 --> 00:50:01,002
[LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING]
960
00:50:01,081 --> 00:50:02,298
- [TAP DANCES]
- A-ha!
961
00:50:15,221 --> 00:50:16,518
[LAUGHS]
962
00:50:21,727 --> 00:50:24,822
The first time it happens
963
00:50:24,897 --> 00:50:27,946
The moment it happens
964
00:50:28,025 --> 00:50:31,245
Then suddenly
There's a whole new world
965
00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:34,119
The first time it happens
966
00:50:34,198 --> 00:50:37,247
The first time it happens
967
00:50:37,326 --> 00:50:43,629
The first time it happens
968
00:50:43,707 --> 00:50:47,428
You know
969
00:50:59,723 --> 00:51:00,724
MAN 1: Bravo!
970
00:51:00,808 --> 00:51:01,809
MAN 2: Bravo!
971
00:51:04,144 --> 00:51:05,646
[PEOPLE EXCLAIMING IN SHOCK]
972
00:51:08,232 --> 00:51:09,700
Aieee!
973
00:51:10,651 --> 00:51:12,745
Lady Holiday! What's happened?
974
00:51:12,820 --> 00:51:15,118
Was it you that screamed,
"Aieee"?
975
00:51:15,197 --> 00:51:17,575
- She screamed right into my ear.
- Of course I screamed.
976
00:51:17,658 --> 00:51:19,251
Somebody's just stolen my necklace.
977
00:51:19,326 --> 00:51:21,875
I told you this would happen.
That necklace was worth a fortune.
978
00:51:21,954 --> 00:51:23,752
- Do something.
- What do you want me to do?
979
00:51:23,831 --> 00:51:26,050
I spilled ketchup
all over my cummerbund.
980
00:51:26,292 --> 00:51:29,136
For God's sake.
Straighten that tie.
981
00:51:29,211 --> 00:51:32,090
It's Lady Holiday, her necklace,
it's been stolen.
982
00:51:33,132 --> 00:51:35,430
"Lady Holiday"? But I thought...
983
00:51:36,510 --> 00:51:39,013
Kermit. I think I've got
a picture of the thief.
984
00:51:39,805 --> 00:51:41,307
- Oh, great.
- Yeah!
985
00:51:42,766 --> 00:51:44,564
But...
986
00:52:03,162 --> 00:52:04,709
[CAT SCREECHES]
987
00:52:16,383 --> 00:52:17,851
This is great, Gonzo.
988
00:52:17,926 --> 00:52:21,351
You popped the flash just before
the soup landed on his tie.
989
00:52:21,430 --> 00:52:23,524
Yeah, well, photography's an art.
990
00:52:23,599 --> 00:52:25,146
You gotta have the right film,
991
00:52:25,225 --> 00:52:26,818
you gotta have the right exposure,
992
00:52:26,894 --> 00:52:29,738
and you gotta scream just before
they get the food to their mouth.
993
00:52:29,813 --> 00:52:30,985
[BANGING ON DOOR]
994
00:52:31,065 --> 00:52:32,612
POPS: What's going on in there?
995
00:52:32,691 --> 00:52:35,240
Lot of folks out here
want to use the rest room.
996
00:52:35,319 --> 00:52:38,198
Well, we're developing these pictures.
We'll be out as soon as we finish.
997
00:52:38,280 --> 00:52:40,578
- Ah, we're trying to catch a jewel thief.
- A jewel thief.
998
00:52:40,658 --> 00:52:42,456
POPS: Well, catch him in another room.
999
00:52:42,534 --> 00:52:45,629
People are dancing up and down
on one leg out here.
1000
00:52:46,080 --> 00:52:48,128
Hurry, Gonzo. There's gotta
be a picture of somebody
1001
00:52:48,207 --> 00:52:49,834
taking Lady Holiday's necklace.
1002
00:52:49,917 --> 00:52:53,797
Well, I don't know.
I still think that pig took it.
1003
00:52:53,879 --> 00:52:56,678
- Oh, she wouldn't steal.
- Why not? She lied.
1004
00:52:56,757 --> 00:52:57,974
That's two different things.
1005
00:52:58,050 --> 00:52:59,597
Besides, she couldn't
have stolen the necklace
1006
00:52:59,677 --> 00:53:01,850
- because she was dancing.
- [BANGING ON DOOR]
1007
00:53:01,929 --> 00:53:03,977
That's right.
There's that old adage,
1008
00:53:04,056 --> 00:53:06,775
you can't dance and steal
at the same time.
1009
00:53:06,850 --> 00:53:09,854
No, that's, "You can't walk
and chew gum at the same time."
1010
00:53:09,937 --> 00:53:12,156
Oh, no. I think it's,
"You can't pat your head
1011
00:53:12,231 --> 00:53:13,858
"and rub your stomach
at the same time."
1012
00:53:13,941 --> 00:53:15,943
What's the difference?
She didn't steal the necklace.
1013
00:53:16,026 --> 00:53:17,528
- I bet you I can do it.
- Do what?
1014
00:53:17,611 --> 00:53:19,989
Pat my head and rub my stomach
at the same time.
1015
00:53:20,072 --> 00:53:22,370
Big deal,
anybody can do that.
1016
00:53:23,951 --> 00:53:26,420
Would you guys out it out?
We're wasting time.
1017
00:53:26,537 --> 00:53:27,959
[BANGING ON DOOR]
1018
00:53:28,038 --> 00:53:29,381
[SHOUTING]
1019
00:53:31,208 --> 00:53:34,678
- Hey, here it is.
- What? What? What? What?
1020
00:53:34,753 --> 00:53:36,881
Oh, look at that. It's that guy
sitting next to Lady Holiday
1021
00:53:36,964 --> 00:53:38,466
and those girls
standing in the back.
1022
00:53:38,549 --> 00:53:41,393
It's probably the same gang
that pulled that first job.
1023
00:53:41,468 --> 00:53:43,061
- Wow!
- Yes, and we got them
1024
00:53:43,137 --> 00:53:44,389
with their hands in the cookie jar.
1025
00:53:44,471 --> 00:53:45,518
[LAUGHS]
1026
00:53:45,597 --> 00:53:47,224
[CLAMORING]
1027
00:53:47,307 --> 00:53:48,854
What's going on?
1028
00:53:48,934 --> 00:53:50,481
FLOYD: What is this, anyway?
1029
00:53:51,061 --> 00:53:52,233
Aw.
1030
00:53:53,647 --> 00:53:55,900
The cookie jar just busted.
1031
00:54:05,325 --> 00:54:06,872
Look, Dad. There's a bear.
1032
00:54:07,286 --> 00:54:09,004
No, Christine, that's a frog.
1033
00:54:09,163 --> 00:54:11,211
Bears wear hats.
1034
00:54:14,001 --> 00:54:15,218
[SIGHS]
1035
00:54:18,380 --> 00:54:19,506
[FOOTSTEPS]
1036
00:54:21,258 --> 00:54:24,011
- How you doing, young fella?
- Oh...
1037
00:54:24,094 --> 00:54:26,267
Okay, I guess.
1038
00:54:26,346 --> 00:54:28,815
Penny for your thoughts.
1039
00:54:28,891 --> 00:54:32,145
Well, it's a long story.
1040
00:54:32,227 --> 00:54:35,857
- But a familiar one, I bet.
- Mmm.
1041
00:54:36,398 --> 00:54:37,775
Older than the hills.
1042
00:54:37,858 --> 00:54:39,280
I've been there, my friend.
1043
00:54:39,359 --> 00:54:41,987
- I've been there and back.
- Mmm.
1044
00:54:42,070 --> 00:54:45,540
You know, I see the way
you're sitting here
1045
00:54:45,616 --> 00:54:47,960
and I see the way you've
got your hand around that little shoe,
1046
00:54:48,035 --> 00:54:50,288
and that's all I need.
I know your whole story.
1047
00:54:50,370 --> 00:54:52,088
Mmm, you do?
1048
00:54:52,164 --> 00:54:53,791
Absolutely.
1049
00:54:53,874 --> 00:54:55,842
I know exactly what happened to you.
1050
00:54:57,002 --> 00:54:58,094
What?
1051
00:54:58,170 --> 00:54:59,638
Well, I tell you, friend.
1052
00:54:59,713 --> 00:55:03,343
What happened was you
and your brother-in-law Bernie,
1053
00:55:03,425 --> 00:55:05,803
you cashed in your stock certificates
1054
00:55:05,886 --> 00:55:07,479
and your insurance policy
1055
00:55:07,554 --> 00:55:10,433
and you went out and bought
a dry-cleaning establishment.
1056
00:55:10,516 --> 00:55:11,517
Mmm?
1057
00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:13,819
Now, another place
opens up down the street
1058
00:55:13,894 --> 00:55:15,817
and it's charging less.
1059
00:55:15,896 --> 00:55:18,775
And they're getting the stuff out faster
because they got more help.
1060
00:55:18,857 --> 00:55:21,076
- It's not your fault. Right?
- Mmm.
1061
00:55:21,151 --> 00:55:24,496
All right. So Bernie
comes to you, he says,
1062
00:55:24,571 --> 00:55:26,164
"I want you to buy me out."
1063
00:55:26,240 --> 00:55:27,617
He says he's fed up.
1064
00:55:27,699 --> 00:55:31,078
Well, your kids are growing up,
you never see 'em,
1065
00:55:31,161 --> 00:55:33,960
and all of a sudden they're turning into
juvenile delinquents,
1066
00:55:34,039 --> 00:55:35,131
and your wife is saying to you,
1067
00:55:35,207 --> 00:55:37,335
"Listen, you care more
about this lousy business
1068
00:55:37,417 --> 00:55:39,010
"than you care about me."
1069
00:55:39,086 --> 00:55:41,054
And the equipment breaks down
1070
00:55:41,129 --> 00:55:42,676
and your sister moves in with you
1071
00:55:42,756 --> 00:55:45,305
because that jerk Bernie,
he went and joined the circus.
1072
00:55:45,384 --> 00:55:47,853
Well, you had it up to here, right?
1073
00:55:47,928 --> 00:55:50,226
You didn't know what to do.
1074
00:55:50,305 --> 00:55:51,852
So what did you do?
1075
00:55:51,932 --> 00:55:54,355
- You did the only thing you could do.
- Mmm.
1076
00:55:54,434 --> 00:55:56,357
You dumped the business
for a song.
1077
00:55:56,436 --> 00:55:58,438
- And who did you sell it to?
- Who?
1078
00:55:58,522 --> 00:56:00,695
You sold it to that
jerk down the street,
1079
00:56:00,774 --> 00:56:03,277
that slob that had been
burying you for a year.
1080
00:56:03,360 --> 00:56:05,738
Then you took whatever
money you had left
1081
00:56:05,821 --> 00:56:09,041
and you sunk it into
the glass slipper business.
1082
00:56:09,116 --> 00:56:11,118
That's your story, my friend.
1083
00:56:11,201 --> 00:56:12,544
Not a happy one, is it?
1084
00:56:14,329 --> 00:56:15,455
Mmm-mmm.
1085
00:56:15,539 --> 00:56:19,134
You know, it's amazing.
You are 100% wrong.
1086
00:56:19,209 --> 00:56:21,382
I mean, nothing you've
said has been right.
1087
00:56:22,004 --> 00:56:24,382
Oh, yeah?
1088
00:56:26,174 --> 00:56:28,097
Well, how about this...
1089
00:56:28,176 --> 00:56:32,147
I hate to be rude, but, uh,
we're trying to do a movie here.
1090
00:56:32,222 --> 00:56:34,224
- Oh, yeah?
- Mmm-hmm.
1091
00:56:34,308 --> 00:56:37,312
Oh, I didn't know that.
Gee, I'm sorry.
1092
00:56:37,394 --> 00:56:40,523
Listen, one thing, son.
1093
00:56:40,606 --> 00:56:44,076
Would you like to buy a watch?
1094
00:56:44,151 --> 00:56:46,153
No.
1095
00:56:50,282 --> 00:56:52,000
Movie stars.
1096
00:56:54,536 --> 00:56:56,538
MISS PIGGY:
Get your filthy hands off me!
1097
00:56:56,622 --> 00:56:57,669
[SPLASH]
1098
00:56:58,415 --> 00:57:00,383
I beg your pardon, young lady!
1099
00:57:00,459 --> 00:57:03,053
Just keep your hands
to yourself, turkey.
1100
00:57:03,128 --> 00:57:04,721
KERMIT: Hey, you.
1101
00:57:05,172 --> 00:57:06,139
[GASPS]
1102
00:57:06,214 --> 00:57:09,263
Well, well, well.
If it isn't the fake Lady Holiday.
1103
00:57:10,636 --> 00:57:12,559
Hello.
1104
00:57:12,638 --> 00:57:16,268
"Hello"? Last night you
never even said goodbye.
1105
00:57:16,350 --> 00:57:19,900
Oh, Kermit, that was just silliness.
[CHUCKLES]
1106
00:57:19,978 --> 00:57:22,106
But you lied to me. You used me.
1107
00:57:23,982 --> 00:57:26,986
Oh, Kermit, please,
let me explain. Kermit.
1108
00:57:27,069 --> 00:57:30,619
- My name is Miss Piggy. I am a model.
- Yeah.
1109
00:57:30,697 --> 00:57:34,247
I only lied because
I wanted to be with you.
1110
00:57:34,326 --> 00:57:37,250
Yeah, well, I saw the way you were
dancing with that guy last night.
1111
00:57:37,329 --> 00:57:39,878
- Oh, Kermit.
- Well, lemme tell you something.
1112
00:57:39,957 --> 00:57:42,005
Your dancing partner
happens to be a jewel thief.
1113
00:57:42,084 --> 00:57:43,176
What do you think of that?
1114
00:57:45,587 --> 00:57:48,932
- You're jealous.
- I am not.
1115
00:57:49,007 --> 00:57:52,307
You are. You are,
you are, you are, you are.
1116
00:57:52,386 --> 00:57:53,478
[EXASPERATED SIGH]
1117
00:57:53,553 --> 00:57:56,432
Oh, Kermit, I'm sorry.
Oh, please don't go, Kermit. Please.
1118
00:57:56,515 --> 00:57:58,062
- Mmm.
- Please don't go. Kermit, please.
1119
00:57:58,141 --> 00:57:59,518
Oh, please, I'm sorry. Please.
1120
00:57:59,601 --> 00:58:01,478
- Piggy. Piggy, hold it.
- Please, please, please.
1121
00:58:01,561 --> 00:58:04,656
- Piggy. Piggy?
- Please, please, please.
1122
00:58:04,731 --> 00:58:06,779
- You're overacting.
- What?
1123
00:58:06,858 --> 00:58:09,327
You're overacting.
You're hamming it up.
1124
00:58:09,403 --> 00:58:11,906
I am not. I am trying
to save this movie.
1125
00:58:11,989 --> 00:58:14,162
Oh, yeah? Well, save your
performance instead.
1126
00:58:14,241 --> 00:58:16,494
I am playing 800 different emotions.
1127
00:58:16,576 --> 00:58:17,998
Well, try to play one of them right.
1128
00:58:18,078 --> 00:58:20,501
Oh, oh! I have a career of my own.
1129
00:58:20,580 --> 00:58:22,127
I know all about your career, Pig.
1130
00:58:22,207 --> 00:58:23,504
I don't need this lousy duck pond here.
1131
00:58:23,583 --> 00:58:25,005
Sure you don't need a lousy duck pond.
1132
00:58:25,085 --> 00:58:27,258
- I'll just walk.
- Okay, sure. Go ahead, walk. Okay?
1133
00:58:27,337 --> 00:58:29,260
- Should I walk? Then I'll walk.
- Walk! Go ahead and walk.
1134
00:58:30,465 --> 00:58:31,887
[MISS PIGGY WHIMPERS]
1135
00:58:31,967 --> 00:58:33,514
Oh, Piggy.
1136
00:58:35,595 --> 00:58:38,064
- Listen.
- I'm doing my best.
1137
00:58:38,140 --> 00:58:41,019
I know you are.
1138
00:58:41,101 --> 00:58:45,356
Piggy, I'm sorry.
We gotta get back to the movie though.
1139
00:58:45,439 --> 00:58:47,157
All right.
All right, all right, all right.
1140
00:58:48,108 --> 00:58:49,325
[SIGHS]
1141
00:58:49,776 --> 00:58:53,121
Kermit, I'm sorry I left you
last night at the nightclub.
1142
00:58:53,196 --> 00:58:57,042
Oh, well, that's okay, Piggy.
1143
00:58:57,117 --> 00:59:00,792
- Oh, Kermie.
- Oh, Piggy.
1144
00:59:05,333 --> 00:59:07,461
[COULDN'T WE RIDE? PLAYING]
1145
00:59:16,261 --> 00:59:19,731
[SINGING] Pretty day, sunny sky
1146
00:59:19,806 --> 00:59:23,481
Lovely pictures dance in your eye
1147
00:59:24,102 --> 00:59:27,857
It all seems so right
1148
00:59:27,939 --> 00:59:30,818
It all feels so rare
1149
00:59:32,986 --> 00:59:36,741
Summer soft sudden breeze
1150
00:59:36,823 --> 00:59:40,873
Watch the wind play tag in the trees
1151
00:59:40,952 --> 00:59:44,582
The world is so bright
1152
00:59:44,664 --> 00:59:48,635
So perfectly fair
1153
00:59:50,170 --> 00:59:53,845
Lovers sing, children dance
1154
00:59:53,924 --> 00:59:57,474
For a minute we've got a chance
1155
00:59:57,844 --> 01:00:01,314
Why couldn't we fly?
1156
01:00:01,389 --> 01:00:06,111
I know we'd get by
1157
01:00:06,978 --> 01:00:09,026
[ECHOING] Couldn't we fly?
1158
01:00:14,319 --> 01:00:18,449
Sunny sky, pretty day
1159
01:00:18,532 --> 01:00:22,082
Just a push and we're on the way
1160
01:00:22,160 --> 01:00:26,461
Yes, couldn't we ride
1161
01:00:26,540 --> 01:00:30,716
Side by side?
1162
01:00:35,590 --> 01:00:36,887
Whoa!
1163
01:00:43,056 --> 01:00:44,353
Whoa!
1164
01:00:46,351 --> 01:00:48,103
"Look, Ma, no brains."
1165
01:00:48,186 --> 01:00:49,733
[BOTH LAUGHING]
1166
01:00:50,313 --> 01:00:51,781
Hup. Whoo!
1167
01:00:51,857 --> 01:00:53,404
Miss Piggy. Whoa.
1168
01:00:57,737 --> 01:00:59,239
Wah! Oof!
1169
01:00:59,322 --> 01:01:00,744
[CRASH]
1170
01:01:19,342 --> 01:01:23,142
Why couldn't we fly?
1171
01:01:23,221 --> 01:01:27,442
I know we'd get by
1172
01:01:28,435 --> 01:01:32,065
- Sunny sky
- Pretty day
1173
01:01:32,147 --> 01:01:36,197
Just a push and we're on the way
1174
01:01:36,276 --> 01:01:39,496
Yes, couldn't we ride
1175
01:01:40,363 --> 01:01:43,993
Side by side?
1176
01:01:44,075 --> 01:01:47,625
Couldn't we ride?
1177
01:02:01,593 --> 01:02:02,845
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
1178
01:02:05,805 --> 01:02:09,230
Gangway! Watch it. Coming through.
1179
01:02:09,309 --> 01:02:11,607
She's wonderful. She's so wonderful.
1180
01:02:11,686 --> 01:02:14,485
She certainly seems to know
where she's going. It's time.
1181
01:02:16,524 --> 01:02:19,198
All right, everybody.
Keep it moving. Don't linger.
1182
01:02:19,277 --> 01:02:21,655
We just want to give them
a hint, a taste, a soupcon.
1183
01:02:21,738 --> 01:02:23,365
Appetizers not four-course meals.
1184
01:02:23,448 --> 01:02:25,701
Marie. I don't think
we should chew gum.
1185
01:02:26,701 --> 01:02:29,750
Stephanie, those false eyelashes
are coming unglued.
1186
01:02:29,829 --> 01:02:31,376
Those shoes are scuffed.
1187
01:02:31,456 --> 01:02:33,925
- I know where they are. I'll get them...
- Sorry.
1188
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:37,345
Watch it, buster.
Oh. Mr. Holiday, I'm sorry.
1189
01:02:37,420 --> 01:02:39,263
- Hello.
- [CHUCKLES]
1190
01:02:39,339 --> 01:02:40,716
- Miss...
- Piggy.
1191
01:02:40,799 --> 01:02:41,971
- Miss Piggy?
- Right.
1192
01:02:42,050 --> 01:02:43,302
Of course.
1193
01:02:44,177 --> 01:02:47,272
- Have dinner with me tonight.
- [CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY]
1194
01:02:47,347 --> 01:02:49,770
Mr. Holiday, really, I'm very busy.
1195
01:02:49,849 --> 01:02:52,819
- Could we meet just for a moment?
- Underwear, underwear, underwear.
1196
01:02:52,894 --> 01:02:55,488
Just one brief moment, Miss Piggy.
Miss...
1197
01:02:55,563 --> 01:02:59,238
- Hmm?
- Miss Piggy.
1198
01:02:59,317 --> 01:03:02,537
You're a very different-looking woman.
1199
01:03:02,612 --> 01:03:06,037
I'm so tired of the same type.
Those tall, thin creatures
1200
01:03:06,116 --> 01:03:09,620
with the long legs, the aquiline noses,
1201
01:03:09,703 --> 01:03:13,173
the teeth like pearls, soft skin.
1202
01:03:13,248 --> 01:03:16,969
Yeah, well, I can see why that might
make you sick to your stomach.
1203
01:03:17,043 --> 01:03:18,886
- Please now... Please...
- Miss Piggy.
1204
01:03:18,962 --> 01:03:21,215
No! Please! No. Please, please.
1205
01:03:22,924 --> 01:03:24,722
Don't put a door between us.
1206
01:03:24,801 --> 01:03:26,223
[KERMIT CLEARS THROAT]
1207
01:03:27,470 --> 01:03:28,892
- Hi.
- Oh, Kermit.
1208
01:03:28,972 --> 01:03:32,317
I was looking for
the men's room.
1209
01:03:32,392 --> 01:03:35,692
Kermit, I just want you to meet
someone. This is Nicky Holiday.
1210
01:03:35,770 --> 01:03:38,740
Mr. Holiday, this is Kermit,
my special friend.
1211
01:03:39,649 --> 01:03:40,696
Oh.
1212
01:03:42,319 --> 01:03:43,571
Nice to meet you.
1213
01:03:45,030 --> 01:03:46,907
Well, excuse me.
1214
01:03:47,282 --> 01:03:48,374
Hmm.
1215
01:03:49,826 --> 01:03:52,579
- Need I say more?
- He's a frog, isn't he?
1216
01:03:52,996 --> 01:03:54,464
Yes.
1217
01:03:58,376 --> 01:04:00,299
Miss Piggy.
1218
01:04:01,588 --> 01:04:04,216
We could've had something
very, very special.
1219
01:04:06,259 --> 01:04:09,263
Now, I can't be responsible
for what might happen.
1220
01:04:10,096 --> 01:04:14,226
Yeah, well, uh,
c'est la vie.
1221
01:04:16,311 --> 01:04:18,734
I don't know why you
love her like you do.
1222
01:04:18,813 --> 01:04:20,781
I don't know why.
I just do.
1223
01:04:21,191 --> 01:04:22,192
[SIGHS]
1224
01:04:22,275 --> 01:04:24,403
Well, you'd better snap
out of it, and fast.
1225
01:04:24,486 --> 01:04:27,035
We've got to plant the goods
on her to take the heat off us.
1226
01:04:27,113 --> 01:04:29,332
I know the plan.
I just wish there was another way.
1227
01:04:29,407 --> 01:04:32,502
It's the only way. Especially now
the cops are starting to ask questions.
1228
01:04:32,577 --> 01:04:36,252
Okay, I'll do my job.
When I give the signal, you do yours.
1229
01:04:36,331 --> 01:04:38,550
Forgive me, Miss Piggy. [SIGHS]
1230
01:04:39,959 --> 01:04:41,552
[INDISTINCT TALKING]
1231
01:04:41,628 --> 01:04:43,551
Am I dressed right for this?
1232
01:04:43,630 --> 01:04:45,473
- You look fine, Fozzie.
- Thank you.
1233
01:04:47,008 --> 01:04:48,555
LADY HOLIDAY: And now,
1234
01:04:48,635 --> 01:04:50,854
without further ado,
1235
01:04:50,929 --> 01:04:54,058
roses, hyacinths,
1236
01:04:54,140 --> 01:04:57,110
lilacs and bluebells
1237
01:04:57,185 --> 01:05:01,315
- make up our first fashion bouquet.
- Ooh!
1238
01:05:02,273 --> 01:05:03,570
Pretty nice lines, huh?
1239
01:05:03,650 --> 01:05:06,278
Yes and the dresses
aren't bad either.
1240
01:05:06,361 --> 01:05:09,114
LADY HOLIDAY:
Here's capricious Carla,
1241
01:05:09,197 --> 01:05:12,542
a dream in hyacinth-blue chiffon
1242
01:05:12,617 --> 01:05:16,997
with the classic allure
of the white pleated collar and cuffs.
1243
01:05:17,080 --> 01:05:19,754
The skirt,
a flutter of godets,
1244
01:05:19,833 --> 01:05:23,258
all complemented
by the cloudy folds of blue
1245
01:05:23,336 --> 01:05:26,886
forming the perfect
flower-framing hat.
1246
01:05:27,424 --> 01:05:30,223
Fantastique.
And thank you, Carla.
1247
01:05:30,301 --> 01:05:31,427
Pretty good-looking duds.
1248
01:05:31,511 --> 01:05:34,105
I found the white pleated
collar alluring,
1249
01:05:34,180 --> 01:05:38,230
but I was rather taken aback
by the flutter of godets.
1250
01:05:38,309 --> 01:05:39,606
Mmm-hmm.
1251
01:05:40,687 --> 01:05:44,362
And now here's
delicious Darla
1252
01:05:44,441 --> 01:05:46,489
in a swirl of apricot silk
1253
01:05:46,568 --> 01:05:50,698
above a tight bodice
with a cleverly draped décolletage.
1254
01:05:51,406 --> 01:05:52,953
Finishing with roses
1255
01:05:53,032 --> 01:05:56,787
to match the confection of flowers
and silk on her head,
1256
01:05:56,870 --> 01:05:59,623
forming a teeny-weeny hat.
1257
01:06:05,837 --> 01:06:08,556
Oh. Ow! My knee.
I think I've twisted it.
1258
01:06:08,631 --> 01:06:11,305
You all right? You've got to get up!
You've got to go on!
1259
01:06:11,384 --> 01:06:13,182
I can't go on!
1260
01:06:13,261 --> 01:06:16,060
[GASPS] Oh! You poor thing.
1261
01:06:16,139 --> 01:06:19,939
Oh, don't worry, Marla.
I'll stay right here with you.
1262
01:06:20,018 --> 01:06:23,443
You can't.
You've got to go on in her place.
1263
01:06:23,521 --> 01:06:24,989
[THUD]
1264
01:06:25,064 --> 01:06:26,361
[APPLAUSE]
1265
01:06:26,566 --> 01:06:29,615
And now, the Lady Holiday
swimwear collection.
1266
01:06:29,694 --> 01:06:31,071
[SNORING]
1267
01:06:31,154 --> 01:06:34,624
Hey, Waldorf, wake up.
Here come the bikinis.
1268
01:06:34,699 --> 01:06:37,623
Oh, boy. We'd better
synchronize our pacemakers.
1269
01:06:37,702 --> 01:06:42,333
A cloud of lavender starburst pleating
surrounds our next model.
1270
01:06:43,708 --> 01:06:44,709
- [GASPS OF DELIGHT]
- [APPLAUSE]
1271
01:06:44,792 --> 01:06:46,214
MAN: Oh, I say!
1272
01:07:33,007 --> 01:07:34,805
[VOCALIZING]
1273
01:07:38,304 --> 01:07:40,557
[MISS PIGGY'S FANTASY PLAYING]
1274
01:07:44,811 --> 01:07:48,065
[SINGING] A miracle of spring
1275
01:07:48,147 --> 01:07:51,071
A miracle of beauty
1276
01:07:51,150 --> 01:07:57,658
Be dazzled by the magic of one smile
1277
01:07:57,740 --> 01:08:00,789
A vision of loveliness
1278
01:08:00,868 --> 01:08:02,962
A universe of charms
1279
01:08:03,037 --> 01:08:08,009
We'll never rest until you're in our arms
1280
01:08:09,335 --> 01:08:10,962
[VOCALIZING]
1281
01:08:17,844 --> 01:08:20,939
NICKY: Daffodils, Miss Piggy
1282
01:08:21,014 --> 01:08:24,359
Whippoorwills, Miss Piggy
1283
01:08:24,434 --> 01:08:31,113
Everything that's lovely
Warm and spring, Miss Piggy
1284
01:08:31,190 --> 01:08:34,785
Fantasy, Miss Piggy
1285
01:08:34,861 --> 01:08:38,206
Ecstasy, Miss Piggy
1286
01:08:38,281 --> 01:08:41,581
All that's fair or fine or wonderful
1287
01:08:41,659 --> 01:08:44,754
Or anything, Miss Piggy
1288
01:08:44,829 --> 01:08:50,882
Where does the rapture
Begin and grow?
1289
01:08:51,085 --> 01:08:57,138
Where does
Devotion and passion go?
1290
01:08:58,217 --> 01:09:01,471
Happiness, Miss Piggy
1291
01:09:01,554 --> 01:09:04,933
One caress, Miss Piggy
1292
01:09:05,016 --> 01:09:09,396
All the world's ever wanted was you
1293
01:09:09,479 --> 01:09:12,153
A dream come true
1294
01:09:12,231 --> 01:09:16,611
Oh, Miss Piggy, it's you
1295
01:09:32,043 --> 01:09:38,426
Where does the rapture
Begin and grow?
1296
01:09:38,508 --> 01:09:45,517
Where does
Devotion and passion go?
1297
01:09:45,682 --> 01:09:49,027
Happiness, Miss Piggy
1298
01:09:49,102 --> 01:09:52,231
One caress, Miss Piggy
1299
01:09:52,313 --> 01:09:56,864
All the world's ever wanted was you
1300
01:09:56,943 --> 01:09:59,446
A dream come true
1301
01:09:59,821 --> 01:10:01,619
[VOCALIZING]
1302
01:10:10,206 --> 01:10:14,507
Oh, Miss Piggy, it's you
1303
01:10:14,585 --> 01:10:16,462
It's you
1304
01:10:16,546 --> 01:10:19,174
It's you
1305
01:10:25,805 --> 01:10:27,648
- [SPLASH]
- [ALL GASP]
1306
01:10:27,932 --> 01:10:29,684
[INDISTINCT TALKING]
1307
01:10:35,857 --> 01:10:38,576
Oh, Miss Piggy, are you okay?
1308
01:10:38,651 --> 01:10:43,031
Yeah, sure. I was just looking
for my contact lens. [CHUCKLES]
1309
01:10:50,663 --> 01:10:53,758
- Excuse me. Excuse me.
- [MISS PIGGY SNEEZING]
1310
01:10:53,833 --> 01:10:56,586
KERMIT: Oh, dear. Oh, you poor thing.
1311
01:10:56,669 --> 01:10:59,388
Excuse me. Here, put this on.
1312
01:10:59,464 --> 01:11:01,558
- You'll get a chill.
- Thank you very much.
1313
01:11:01,632 --> 01:11:03,054
- You all right'?
- I don't know what happened.
1314
01:11:03,134 --> 01:11:04,886
I must've tripped.
1315
01:11:04,969 --> 01:11:06,846
Wait a minute. What's this?
1316
01:11:07,597 --> 01:11:09,691
I don't think these belong to me.
1317
01:11:11,267 --> 01:11:13,645
Do you recognize this?
1318
01:11:14,729 --> 01:11:17,949
That was my necklace.
But where are the diamonds?
1319
01:11:18,024 --> 01:11:21,745
- Where are the diamonds?
- Miss Piggy stole my necklace.
1320
01:11:21,819 --> 01:11:22,786
[ALL GASP]
1321
01:11:22,862 --> 01:11:24,864
- No.
- Miss Piggy, how could you?
1322
01:11:24,947 --> 01:11:26,915
No! No! I don't know anything about it!
1323
01:11:26,991 --> 01:11:30,461
Somebody must've put it... You!
1324
01:11:30,536 --> 01:11:33,255
- It was you! Kermit was right.
- Oh, no, no, no!
1325
01:11:33,331 --> 01:11:36,175
You're a phony! Yes, you are.
1326
01:11:36,250 --> 01:11:37,297
And you know what?
1327
01:11:37,376 --> 01:11:40,380
You can't even sing!
Your voice was dubbed.
1328
01:11:40,463 --> 01:11:42,557
Watch out, guys. Kermit!
1329
01:11:43,257 --> 01:11:45,430
Don't worry, Miss Piggy.
We'll get you out of this.
1330
01:11:45,885 --> 01:11:49,014
It just goes to show
you can't trust anybody.
1331
01:11:49,096 --> 01:11:50,939
Excuse me, Lady Holiday,
will you be hiring any more pigs?
1332
01:11:51,015 --> 01:11:54,019
Well, I shall certainly
think twice about it.
1333
01:11:54,101 --> 01:11:57,731
Kermit, find out if they'll
let me keep the costumes.
1334
01:11:58,064 --> 01:11:59,657
What about your most
famous piece of jewelry,
1335
01:11:59,732 --> 01:12:00,824
the fabulous Baseball Diamond?
1336
01:12:00,900 --> 01:12:03,574
As from Monday,
the fabulous Baseball Diamond
1337
01:12:03,653 --> 01:12:06,372
will go on permanent display
at the Mallory Gallery.
1338
01:12:06,447 --> 01:12:08,870
I shall never have it
either on my person
1339
01:12:08,950 --> 01:12:10,952
or in my possession again.
1340
01:12:11,035 --> 01:12:12,833
That's right.
It'll be in our possession.
1341
01:12:12,912 --> 01:12:15,006
Tuesday at midnight
we'll go to the Mallory Gallery.
1342
01:12:15,081 --> 01:12:17,049
The Baseball Diamond will be ours.
1343
01:12:17,124 --> 01:12:18,717
[ALL LAUGHING EVILLY]
1344
01:12:20,294 --> 01:12:23,138
GONZO: So there I was,
backstage under a table.
1345
01:12:23,422 --> 01:12:27,177
I was doing a little
photographic essay on kneecaps,
1346
01:12:27,260 --> 01:12:29,558
and I heard 'em planning
to steal the Baseball Diamond.
1347
01:12:29,637 --> 01:12:30,684
[ALL GASP]
1348
01:12:30,763 --> 01:12:31,855
JANICE: Bummer.
1349
01:12:31,931 --> 01:12:34,650
- So what's the plan, man?
- I already told you.
1350
01:12:34,725 --> 01:12:36,978
Tuesday, midnight,
at the Mallory Gallery.
1351
01:12:37,061 --> 01:12:38,688
- That's all I know.
- [OVERLAPPING CONVERSATIONS]
1352
01:12:38,771 --> 01:12:40,648
You mean they're really gonna
try to steal the diamond?
1353
01:12:49,448 --> 01:12:51,166
- Quiet!
- [ALL FALL SILENT EXCEPT JANICE]
1354
01:12:51,576 --> 01:12:53,920
"Look, Mother,
it's my life, okay?
1355
01:12:53,995 --> 01:12:56,839
"So if I want to live on a beach
and walk around naked..."
1356
01:12:57,957 --> 01:12:58,958
Oh.
1357
01:12:59,667 --> 01:13:01,965
Now, if we wanna get
Miss Piggy out of jail,
1358
01:13:02,044 --> 01:13:04,172
we're gonna have to catch
those thieves red-handed.
1359
01:13:04,630 --> 01:13:05,847
Yes, Beau?
1360
01:13:05,965 --> 01:13:07,592
What color are their hands now?
1361
01:13:08,050 --> 01:13:09,677
[ALL GROAN]
1362
01:13:09,760 --> 01:13:12,764
Now, we're about to embark
on a potentially dangerous mission.
1363
01:13:12,847 --> 01:13:16,351
There could be physical violence,
there could be gunplay,
1364
01:13:16,434 --> 01:13:18,903
and there's a slightest chance
that somebody might even get killed.
1365
01:13:18,978 --> 01:13:21,606
So if anybody wants out,
now is the time to say it.
1366
01:13:22,481 --> 01:13:24,279
- I'm out.
- Me, too.
1367
01:13:24,483 --> 01:13:25,655
- Ditto.
- Meep.
1368
01:13:25,818 --> 01:13:29,573
Don't we have a gig around here,
or something or somewhere?
1369
01:13:29,655 --> 01:13:31,783
Yeah, sorry.
I got a dental appointment.
1370
01:13:31,866 --> 01:13:34,289
- It's like this, Kermit.
- I have to go to work all day.
1371
01:13:34,368 --> 01:13:36,041
[ALL TALK AT ONCE]
1372
01:13:37,872 --> 01:13:39,590
Hold it!
1373
01:13:42,335 --> 01:13:45,054
Shame on you.
1374
01:13:46,464 --> 01:13:48,717
I thought we were
in this thing together.
1375
01:13:49,634 --> 01:13:54,140
I'm just as scared as you are,
but this has to be done.
1376
01:13:55,181 --> 01:13:58,230
We don't want the bad guys to win.
1377
01:13:59,352 --> 01:14:02,902
We've got to do
this for justice.
1378
01:14:02,980 --> 01:14:04,482
For freedom.
1379
01:14:04,565 --> 01:14:06,488
For honesty.
1380
01:14:08,986 --> 01:14:11,114
Boy, do I feel ashamed.
1381
01:14:11,197 --> 01:14:14,041
Me, too. I feel like two cents.
1382
01:14:15,701 --> 01:14:18,295
- I'm back in.
- You can count on me.
1383
01:14:18,371 --> 01:14:20,294
Oh, hey, I was only joking.
1384
01:14:20,373 --> 01:14:23,798
Yeah, it'll be a lot of fun
to go out there and risk our lives.
1385
01:14:24,168 --> 01:14:25,966
- Yeah!
- All for one and one for all.
1386
01:14:26,045 --> 01:14:27,297
Yeah!
1387
01:14:27,380 --> 01:14:30,930
At times like this
I am proud to be an American.
1388
01:14:31,008 --> 01:14:32,055
Hmm.
1389
01:14:33,094 --> 01:14:36,223
Thank you. I knew I could count
on each and every one of you.
1390
01:14:36,305 --> 01:14:37,431
[FOZZIE WHIMPERS]
1391
01:14:37,515 --> 01:14:38,812
Fozzie, are you okay?
1392
01:14:39,725 --> 01:14:42,023
That took a lot out of me.
1393
01:14:42,103 --> 01:14:45,698
Okay. Now we don't have any time
to waste, so everybody gather 'round.
1394
01:14:45,773 --> 01:14:48,572
And the first thing we have
to do is make our plans.
1395
01:14:48,693 --> 01:14:50,741
- Right.
- ALL: Whoa!
1396
01:14:52,279 --> 01:14:54,247
MUPPET: [MUFFLED]
Or we could get some sleep.
1397
01:14:55,783 --> 01:14:56,909
[GLASS SHATTERS]
1398
01:14:57,910 --> 01:14:59,833
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
1399
01:15:11,007 --> 01:15:12,850
WOMAN: Miss Piggy?
1400
01:15:12,925 --> 01:15:13,926
What?
1401
01:15:14,093 --> 01:15:16,266
Your lawyer is here to see you.
1402
01:15:16,679 --> 01:15:19,182
Lawyer?
I don't have a lawyer.
1403
01:15:19,265 --> 01:15:22,269
Ah, sure you do. Little green guy.
1404
01:15:23,102 --> 01:15:26,402
Kermie! Oh! No wonder
he hasn't come by to see me.
1405
01:15:26,480 --> 01:15:28,232
He had to finish law school.
1406
01:15:33,279 --> 01:15:34,451
[DOOR OPENS]
1407
01:15:39,660 --> 01:15:41,162
Oh, Kermit! Oh!
1408
01:15:41,245 --> 01:15:43,043
Two minutes, pig.
1409
01:15:44,206 --> 01:15:46,800
Oh, Kermie.
Oh, I've missed you so.
1410
01:15:47,376 --> 01:15:49,253
Please.
The name is Rosenthal.
1411
01:15:49,879 --> 01:15:52,257
I'm your attorney. That's the only way
they'd let me in here.
1412
01:15:52,423 --> 01:15:54,300
Oh, right.
1413
01:15:54,383 --> 01:15:59,139
Oh, I've missed you so... Rosenthal.
It's been an eternity.
1414
01:15:59,764 --> 01:16:01,437
It's been 45 minutes.
1415
01:16:01,891 --> 01:16:04,189
Time goes slow in the cooler.
1416
01:16:04,268 --> 01:16:06,737
Well, I just want you to know
that we're gonna get you out of here,
1417
01:16:06,812 --> 01:16:09,031
'cause we're gonna catch
those thieves red-handed.
1418
01:16:09,607 --> 01:16:11,234
What color are their hands now?
1419
01:16:12,193 --> 01:16:14,912
I don't think this is the time
for that type of humor.
1420
01:16:15,279 --> 01:16:16,405
When you're in stir
1421
01:16:16,489 --> 01:16:19,163
you take the laughs
when you can get 'em, Rosenthal.
1422
01:16:19,617 --> 01:16:21,790
Yeah, well, anyway,
just stay put
1423
01:16:21,869 --> 01:16:24,713
because we've got a plan
and we're gonna prove you're innocent.
1424
01:16:24,789 --> 01:16:28,259
You see, tomorrow night,
precisely at midnight,
1425
01:16:28,334 --> 01:16:31,588
those thieves are gonna try to steal
Lady Holiday's Baseball Diamond
1426
01:16:31,670 --> 01:16:32,887
- from the Mallory Gallery.
- [GASPS]
1427
01:16:32,963 --> 01:16:36,183
- And we're gonna stop 'em.
- Oh, Kermit, be careful.
1428
01:16:36,342 --> 01:16:38,686
Don't worry because
I've got Gonzo and Fozzie
1429
01:16:38,761 --> 01:16:41,230
and all our friends from
the Happiness Hotel to help.
1430
01:16:42,181 --> 01:16:44,024
- Those clowns?
- Mmm-hmm.
1431
01:16:44,141 --> 01:16:46,519
Great. I'll be stuck
in the big house for life.
1432
01:16:47,561 --> 01:16:49,780
"Big house"?
Is that prison talk?
1433
01:16:50,648 --> 01:16:53,117
Yeah, "big house,"
"squealer," "slammer."
1434
01:16:53,192 --> 01:16:55,536
That's the lingo
we use here in the joint.
1435
01:16:55,820 --> 01:16:59,370
Yeah. Well, you may
talk tough, Miss Piggy,
1436
01:16:59,448 --> 01:17:02,201
but underneath I know
you're still the same beautiful,
1437
01:17:02,284 --> 01:17:05,128
sensitive, vulnerable woman
I was out with the other night.
1438
01:17:05,538 --> 01:17:07,836
The one who scarfed down
all that caviar.
1439
01:17:08,249 --> 01:17:09,375
[SIGHS]
1440
01:17:09,708 --> 01:17:12,211
You have such a
way with words.
1441
01:17:12,294 --> 01:17:14,763
I love you, Rosenthal.
1442
01:17:22,596 --> 01:17:24,098
[KISS NOISILY]
1443
01:17:28,978 --> 01:17:30,571
You're wearing my mustache.
1444
01:17:33,899 --> 01:17:37,494
Yeah, well, you have
mesh marks on your face.
1445
01:17:48,581 --> 01:17:50,504
NICKY: Glass cutter?
CARLA: Check.
1446
01:17:50,583 --> 01:17:53,052
- Nylon rope?
- Check.
1447
01:17:53,127 --> 01:17:55,676
- Computer deprogrammer?
- Check.
1448
01:17:55,754 --> 01:17:57,756
- Stopwatch?
- Check.
1449
01:17:57,840 --> 01:18:00,013
- Pocket laser?
- Check.
1450
01:18:00,092 --> 01:18:02,686
- Infrared reflex?
- Check.
1451
01:18:02,761 --> 01:18:04,263
- Portable detonator?
- Check.
1452
01:18:04,930 --> 01:18:08,025
- Whoopee cushion?
- I think it's in the bus.
1453
01:18:08,100 --> 01:18:11,320
- Rubber raft?
- it's got holes in it.
1454
01:18:11,604 --> 01:18:13,527
- Bag of chickens?
- [SQUAWKS]
1455
01:18:15,024 --> 01:18:17,197
- Fake vomit?
- it's on order.
1456
01:18:17,276 --> 01:18:18,243
[ALL GROAN IN DISGUST]
1457
01:18:18,319 --> 01:18:20,572
- Frisbee?
- Oh, uh, lost.
1458
01:18:20,946 --> 01:18:22,664
- Pneumatic drill?
- Check.
1459
01:18:22,740 --> 01:18:24,663
- Computer printout?
- Check.
1460
01:18:24,742 --> 01:18:26,790
- Radar gun?
- Check.
1461
01:18:26,869 --> 01:18:28,246
- Walkie-talkies?
- ALL: Check.
1462
01:18:28,996 --> 01:18:30,213
[SIGHS]
1463
01:18:42,927 --> 01:18:45,931
- Wax lips?
- Man, I just had 'em.
1464
01:18:46,013 --> 01:18:47,481
Did you leave them
in your other pants?
1465
01:18:47,556 --> 01:18:50,400
- I don't have no other pants.
- [ALL GROAN]
1466
01:18:50,476 --> 01:18:52,774
- Yoyo?
- For sure.
1467
01:18:53,437 --> 01:18:55,030
- Harpoon gun?
- That's you.
1468
01:18:55,105 --> 01:18:57,904
Check.
1469
01:18:57,983 --> 01:19:00,281
All right, team.
1470
01:19:00,361 --> 01:19:02,079
Let's go for it.
1471
01:19:02,571 --> 01:19:04,699
- Peanut butter?
- Animal ate it.
1472
01:19:05,282 --> 01:19:07,831
- Sorry.
- [ALL GROAN]
1473
01:19:08,535 --> 01:19:11,835
Well, Kermit, I guess that's it.
1474
01:19:12,456 --> 01:19:15,084
All right, everybody.
1475
01:19:15,167 --> 01:19:16,919
- Let's go for it.
- [CHEERING]
1476
01:19:17,461 --> 01:19:18,804
[CRASHING]
1477
01:19:20,297 --> 01:19:21,514
[GLASS SHATTERS]
1478
01:19:25,302 --> 01:19:27,020
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
1479
01:19:35,396 --> 01:19:36,443
BOTH: Go for it!
1480
01:19:36,522 --> 01:19:37,739
[STRAINING]
1481
01:19:41,193 --> 01:19:42,194
[SIGHS]
1482
01:19:46,907 --> 01:19:48,284
[CHEERING]
1483
01:20:50,095 --> 01:20:51,142
[CRUNCH]
1484
01:20:51,221 --> 01:20:52,268
KERMIT: Beauregard.
1485
01:20:52,348 --> 01:20:53,770
Back it up here.
1486
01:20:54,266 --> 01:20:55,483
[TIRES SCREECH]
1487
01:20:56,727 --> 01:20:57,979
- [ALL WHISPER EXCITEDLY]
- MUPPET: Shh. Shh.
1488
01:20:58,062 --> 01:20:59,780
GONZO: Okay. Quiet.
MUPPET: Shh!
1489
01:21:01,106 --> 01:21:03,609
KERMIT: Okay. You guys
all got your disguises in place?
1490
01:21:04,234 --> 01:21:05,281
Shh.
1491
01:21:06,195 --> 01:21:08,243
ALL: Wow.
1492
01:21:12,534 --> 01:21:13,786
Oh!
1493
01:21:31,720 --> 01:21:34,064
- Wow!
- ALL: Shh.
1494
01:21:34,139 --> 01:21:36,688
- I'm taking a picture.
- Shh.
1495
01:21:36,767 --> 01:21:38,610
Rowlf, hand me the blowtorch.
1496
01:21:38,685 --> 01:21:40,904
Blowtorch?
Who said anything about a blowtorch?
1497
01:21:40,979 --> 01:21:42,902
I got some paper towels.
1498
01:21:43,732 --> 01:21:45,029
How are we supposed
to cut through the bars
1499
01:21:45,109 --> 01:21:46,361
if nobody brought stuff to cut with?
1500
01:21:46,443 --> 01:21:49,822
I brought some hot mustard.
Maybe that'll eat through the bars.
1501
01:21:49,905 --> 01:21:51,498
Eat through the bars!
1502
01:21:51,573 --> 01:21:53,450
- Animal?
- What?
1503
01:21:53,534 --> 01:21:56,663
Hey. Why don't you see if you can
eat through these iron bars.
1504
01:21:56,745 --> 01:21:59,624
Eat through bars.
1505
01:22:00,207 --> 01:22:01,709
[GROWLING]
1506
01:22:04,336 --> 01:22:05,633
[BARKING]
1507
01:22:06,547 --> 01:22:07,799
[GRUNTS]
1508
01:22:10,676 --> 01:22:12,394
- Goggy!
- [ALL SCREAM]
1509
01:22:12,469 --> 01:22:14,016
- FOZZIE: The cops!
- [ALL YELL]
1510
01:22:18,183 --> 01:22:22,063
Do you know where Lady Holiday's
Baseball Diamond is being kept?
1511
01:22:22,438 --> 01:22:25,863
Funnily enough, I do.
It's at the Mallory Gallery,
1512
01:22:25,941 --> 01:22:28,285
a virtually impregnable fortress,
1513
01:22:28,360 --> 01:22:30,613
- many miles from here.
- Oh.
1514
01:22:30,696 --> 01:22:32,573
I only have a half
an hour to get there.
1515
01:22:32,656 --> 01:22:34,658
On foot? You'll never make it.
1516
01:22:35,075 --> 01:22:36,748
I know. How about a ride?
1517
01:22:37,035 --> 01:22:38,628
You can read, I presume?
1518
01:22:38,704 --> 01:22:40,672
[READING]
1519
01:22:40,998 --> 01:22:44,719
Oh, couldn't you
make an exception for little old moi?
1520
01:22:45,002 --> 01:22:47,721
Not even for little old vous.
[LAUGHS]
1521
01:22:47,880 --> 01:22:51,134
- Pretty please?
- No!
1522
01:22:51,216 --> 01:22:53,139
I've tried to be nice.
1523
01:22:54,261 --> 01:22:56,013
- Huh?
- Hi-yah!
1524
01:23:00,893 --> 01:23:01,985
[TRUCK DRIVES OFF]
1525
01:23:02,060 --> 01:23:03,403
Hey.
1526
01:23:03,520 --> 01:23:05,397
What's all the racket?
1527
01:23:05,481 --> 01:23:07,449
What are you doing here?
1528
01:23:07,524 --> 01:23:09,151
A very brief cameo.
1529
01:23:10,152 --> 01:23:11,574
Me, too. [TUTS]
1530
01:23:22,539 --> 01:23:23,756
[WHIRS]
1531
01:23:40,599 --> 01:23:42,727
Breaker one, this is Hamhock.
Do you read me'?
1532
01:23:42,809 --> 01:23:44,277
Loud and clear, Hamhock.
1533
01:23:44,353 --> 01:23:47,027
This is Dirty Bird.
What's your 20, over?
1534
01:23:47,105 --> 01:23:49,608
Well, good buddy,
we're westbound out of Highgate.
1535
01:23:49,691 --> 01:23:51,864
Any smokies between me
and Blimeytown?
1536
01:23:51,944 --> 01:23:54,823
Negatory, Hamhock.
You're free and clear.
1537
01:23:54,905 --> 01:23:56,953
Ten-four, Dirty Bird. Much obliged.
1538
01:23:57,032 --> 01:23:59,455
We got the hammer down
and we gone.
1539
01:24:01,995 --> 01:24:04,214
I never ordered no pepperoni.
1540
01:24:04,289 --> 01:24:07,213
It's right here on the slip.
Medium pepperoni with double cheese.
1541
01:24:07,292 --> 01:24:09,090
[ITALIAN ACCENT] That'sa right.
We don'ta make them,
1542
01:24:09,169 --> 01:24:10,716
- we justa deliver them.
- Mmm-hmm.
1543
01:24:10,796 --> 01:24:13,219
Somebody here called
Pizza Twins, and that's us.
1544
01:24:13,882 --> 01:24:15,304
What's the name on that slip?
1545
01:24:17,386 --> 01:24:18,478
Uh...
1546
01:24:19,805 --> 01:24:22,433
- What's your name?
- Henderson.
1547
01:24:23,475 --> 01:24:25,978
- That's it! That's the name on the slip.
- Ah.
1548
01:24:26,353 --> 01:24:27,479
Uh...
1549
01:24:27,854 --> 01:24:31,233
- But I hate pepperoni.
- I'll eat it.
1550
01:24:31,692 --> 01:24:33,490
- Stand by, guys.
- MUPPETS: Right!
1551
01:24:34,194 --> 01:24:35,411
[BEEPS]
1552
01:24:37,573 --> 01:24:38,665
Ooh.
1553
01:24:42,160 --> 01:24:44,003
'Ere. Just one moment.
1554
01:24:45,247 --> 01:24:46,749
Can I see that slip?
1555
01:24:46,999 --> 01:24:47,966
Uh...
1556
01:24:48,041 --> 01:24:50,260
Uh, Well... [CLEARS THROAT]
1557
01:24:50,335 --> 01:24:52,429
Actually, this is the wrong slip.
1558
01:24:52,504 --> 01:24:55,223
That slip, sir,
you said it had my name on it.
1559
01:24:55,299 --> 01:24:57,176
Oh, thata slip.
1560
01:24:57,259 --> 01:24:59,762
Uh, uh, uh, thata slip we left at home.
1561
01:24:59,845 --> 01:25:02,394
But we gota the pepperoni.
1562
01:25:02,472 --> 01:25:04,770
- But I hate pepperoni.
- Hate pepperoni. Right.
1563
01:25:04,850 --> 01:25:07,319
How about you could
feed it to the dogs?
1564
01:25:07,394 --> 01:25:09,362
Oh, yes. That'sa right.
Here, sir.
1565
01:25:09,438 --> 01:25:11,406
Oh, that's very thoughtful of you.
1566
01:25:11,481 --> 01:25:12,482
Thank you very much, sir.
1567
01:25:18,030 --> 01:25:19,247
[CLUNK]
1568
01:25:23,869 --> 01:25:25,837
[ENGINE LOSES POWER]
1569
01:25:27,122 --> 01:25:29,591
What am I?
A glutton for punishment?
1570
01:25:40,969 --> 01:25:43,142
- Hey, Fozzie...
- Shh!
1571
01:25:43,221 --> 01:25:45,223
Fozzie,
how do we get in?
1572
01:25:45,307 --> 01:25:47,685
Why don't we just ring the doorbell?
1573
01:25:47,768 --> 01:25:49,770
No, no, no. There's
got to be another way.
1574
01:25:49,853 --> 01:25:51,480
Well, you'd better
think of it pretty quick.
1575
01:25:51,563 --> 01:25:53,565
Those dogs have nearly
finished the pizza.
1576
01:25:54,608 --> 01:25:55,905
I know. The roof.
1577
01:25:56,318 --> 01:25:59,322
Oh, man.
No way we'll ever get up there.
1578
01:25:59,404 --> 01:26:00,906
[DOGS BARK]
1579
01:26:01,823 --> 01:26:03,325
[ALL SCREAM]
1580
01:26:08,622 --> 01:26:09,669
[BARKING CONTINUES]
1581
01:26:30,268 --> 01:26:32,362
[ALL BREATHE HEAVILY]
1582
01:26:32,437 --> 01:26:33,529
GONZO: Phew.
1583
01:26:33,605 --> 01:26:36,279
So far I'm not having any fun.
1584
01:26:36,358 --> 01:26:37,860
Let me talk to 'em.
1585
01:26:38,860 --> 01:26:40,112
Woof woof.
Woof woof.
1586
01:26:41,405 --> 01:26:42,622
[WHINES]
1587
01:26:44,324 --> 01:26:45,325
[ALL SIGH]
1588
01:26:45,409 --> 01:26:47,036
it helps to know
a second language.
1589
01:26:47,119 --> 01:26:48,371
[LAUGHS]
1590
01:26:49,204 --> 01:26:51,252
[SIGHS] It's nearly midnight.
1591
01:26:51,331 --> 01:26:52,628
What am I going to do?
1592
01:26:53,959 --> 01:26:56,053
Hey! Hey, you! Hey!
1593
01:27:06,680 --> 01:27:08,899
What an unbelievable coincidence.
1594
01:27:13,562 --> 01:27:14,814
[WHIRRING]
1595
01:27:22,404 --> 01:27:23,747
[BEEPING]
1596
01:27:28,160 --> 01:27:30,538
Now, this window probably
has an alarm system on it.
1597
01:27:30,620 --> 01:27:33,169
Ah, my assistant Beaker
will check it out.
1598
01:27:33,248 --> 01:27:35,000
- Go on, Beaker.
- [SIGHS]
1599
01:27:37,085 --> 01:27:38,177
[BELL DINGS]
1600
01:27:38,462 --> 01:27:39,714
[SCREAMS]
1601
01:27:45,969 --> 01:27:47,221
[BEEPING]
1602
01:27:49,723 --> 01:27:50,940
[GASPING]
1603
01:27:51,016 --> 01:27:54,190
Very good, Beaker.
Now it's perfectly safe.
1604
01:27:54,269 --> 01:27:57,193
Oh, good.
Animal, do your stuff.
1605
01:27:58,982 --> 01:28:00,234
[STRAINS]
1606
01:28:04,905 --> 01:28:06,703
ANIMAL: Sorry.
1607
01:28:16,708 --> 01:28:19,632
There it is.
The fabulous Baseball Diamond.
1608
01:28:22,672 --> 01:28:24,265
SCOOTER: How are we
gonna get down there?
1609
01:28:24,341 --> 01:28:26,139
I suggest we jump.
1610
01:28:26,218 --> 01:28:28,687
Are you crazy?
That's about a hundred feet.
1611
01:28:28,762 --> 01:28:31,185
I didn't say it was
a good suggestion.
1612
01:28:31,264 --> 01:28:33,562
Maybe we could jump partway.
1613
01:28:40,899 --> 01:28:42,526
Oh, boy, what do we do now?
1614
01:28:42,609 --> 01:28:45,738
We're just gonna have to go down there
and catch those thieves red-handed.
1615
01:28:45,821 --> 01:28:48,074
What color are their hands now?
1616
01:28:59,376 --> 01:29:01,504
We'll just have to improvise.
1617
01:29:01,586 --> 01:29:03,680
We'll make a ladder out of
whatever will hold us.
1618
01:29:03,755 --> 01:29:06,850
Good idea. Here's the paper towels.
1619
01:29:09,553 --> 01:29:11,931
I'm coming, Kermie!
1620
01:29:15,225 --> 01:29:16,772
[SIREN WAILING]
1621
01:29:18,103 --> 01:29:20,447
Well, you wanted excitement.
1622
01:29:48,717 --> 01:29:50,310
[WAILING CONTINUES]
1623
01:30:15,285 --> 01:30:17,287
Excuse me, I don't think
that belongs to you.
1624
01:30:17,370 --> 01:30:18,587
[ALL SHOUT]
1625
01:30:22,626 --> 01:30:24,003
Say cheese!
1626
01:30:27,422 --> 01:30:29,675
Woman!
1627
01:30:29,758 --> 01:30:31,226
Hey, nice catch, Animal.
1628
01:30:32,177 --> 01:30:35,021
- Heads up, Lew.
- Over here, Rowlf! Yeah, got it!
1629
01:30:35,096 --> 01:30:37,019
Hot potato! Keep away.
Here we go.
1630
01:30:37,098 --> 01:30:38,896
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
1631
01:30:40,018 --> 01:30:42,612
I got it. Thank you.
Be careful, guys.
1632
01:30:42,687 --> 01:30:44,360
Catch it. Get him!
1633
01:30:44,522 --> 01:30:45,865
[CLUCKING]
1634
01:30:46,691 --> 01:30:47,943
[LAUGHS]
1635
01:30:48,026 --> 01:30:49,278
Still got a good eye.
1636
01:30:49,361 --> 01:30:52,615
Welcome to the wild world
of Muppet sports.
1637
01:30:52,697 --> 01:30:55,120
This is Louis Kazagger
with a play-by-play
1638
01:30:55,200 --> 01:30:56,372
- of the game.
- Woman!
1639
01:30:56,451 --> 01:30:59,330
And it looks like ladies' night
here at the gallery.
1640
01:30:59,412 --> 01:31:02,211
- Peekaboo.
- Hey! Ba-ba-do-be-bop.
1641
01:31:02,457 --> 01:31:04,551
Okay. Here she comes, boy!
1642
01:31:09,089 --> 01:31:11,217
[FRIGHTENED MEEPS]
1643
01:31:11,675 --> 01:31:12,927
[CHUCKLING]
1644
01:31:13,009 --> 01:31:16,354
Hey, way to chuck,
way to look, way to move!
1645
01:31:16,429 --> 01:31:19,399
Popcorn, popcorn.
Get your red-hot popcorn.
1646
01:31:20,225 --> 01:31:22,023
[SPEAKS MOCK SWEDISH]
1647
01:31:27,065 --> 01:31:28,282
Popcorn, chicken?
1648
01:31:28,984 --> 01:31:31,282
Woman! [LAUGHS]
1649
01:31:32,946 --> 01:31:34,414
Woman!
1650
01:31:35,031 --> 01:31:36,499
Okay, okay.
1651
01:31:36,574 --> 01:31:38,918
Lew Zealand leads off the order
as we join the game.
1652
01:31:39,077 --> 01:31:40,078
ALL: Whoa!
1653
01:31:41,579 --> 01:31:43,081
Chuck it to me, Beakie baby.
1654
01:31:43,164 --> 01:31:44,507
Pitchy witchy, Beaker.
1655
01:31:44,582 --> 01:31:47,301
Pitcher, you couldn't hit
the broad side of a barn!
1656
01:31:47,711 --> 01:31:49,429
Picture of the pitcher.
1657
01:31:49,504 --> 01:31:51,256
Wait for what you want, Lew, baby.
1658
01:31:51,965 --> 01:31:53,308
Rah, rah, rah!
1659
01:31:53,425 --> 01:31:55,098
Beaker goes into the windup.
1660
01:31:56,177 --> 01:31:57,520
It's the pitch.
1661
01:31:57,929 --> 01:32:00,478
- It's a high fly ball to Kermit the Frog.
- [ALL CHEERING]
1662
01:32:00,557 --> 01:32:03,936
I got it. I got it. I got it.
1663
01:32:04,936 --> 01:32:06,734
Hey, gimme that diamond,
you crook.
1664
01:32:08,189 --> 01:32:10,157
- Come on, guys. Get him.
- [ALL YELL]
1665
01:32:10,233 --> 01:32:12,110
- All right. Back off!
- Ooh!
1666
01:32:13,611 --> 01:32:15,363
But, Nicky, why are you doing this?
1667
01:32:15,447 --> 01:32:18,576
Why am I doing this? Because
I'm a villain. It's pure and simple.
1668
01:32:18,658 --> 01:32:22,333
Uh, excuse me, Mr. Holiday, sir.
Would you let Kermit go?
1669
01:32:22,412 --> 01:32:24,631
If you hold him too long
he'll just give you warts.
1670
01:32:24,748 --> 01:32:26,341
Oh, no. He's coming with us.
1671
01:32:26,416 --> 01:32:28,089
Come on, girls. Let's get out of here.
1672
01:32:28,168 --> 01:32:29,169
[MOTORBIKE APPROACHES]
1673
01:32:35,717 --> 01:32:37,139
[ALL GASP]
1674
01:32:44,851 --> 01:32:46,228
[ALL CHEER]
1675
01:32:49,522 --> 01:32:50,739
Hi-yah!
1676
01:32:50,815 --> 01:32:51,941
[YELLS]
1677
01:32:55,820 --> 01:32:57,117
Hi-yah!
1678
01:32:59,699 --> 01:33:01,121
- Hi-yah!
- Ow!
1679
01:33:02,160 --> 01:33:03,332
FOZZIE: Watch out!
1680
01:33:03,411 --> 01:33:04,583
KERMIT: Miss Piggy!
1681
01:33:04,662 --> 01:33:06,505
- FOZZIE: Yeah! Way to go!
- [MUPPETS CHEERING]
1682
01:33:08,124 --> 01:33:10,092
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
1683
01:33:10,710 --> 01:33:12,963
[MUPPETS TALKING INDISTINCTLY]
1684
01:33:16,174 --> 01:33:17,676
[ALL CHEERING]
1685
01:33:25,850 --> 01:33:27,193
Bye-bye.
1686
01:33:30,230 --> 01:33:33,359
- You were magnificent, Miss Piggy.
- I did it all for you.
1687
01:33:33,441 --> 01:33:34,818
- Could I have just a moment?
- Oh, thank you.
1688
01:33:34,901 --> 01:33:36,278
Por nada.
1689
01:33:37,278 --> 01:33:38,325
Oh.
1690
01:33:39,197 --> 01:33:42,041
- I really did care for you, you know.
- I know.
1691
01:33:42,117 --> 01:33:44,620
We could've had the world
on a silver platter.
1692
01:33:45,203 --> 01:33:47,752
That silver's turned to iron bars,
Nicky.
1693
01:33:48,206 --> 01:33:49,674
Don't hate me,
Miss Piggy.
1694
01:33:49,749 --> 01:33:53,504
Oh, I don't. It's just that
somehow along the road
1695
01:33:53,586 --> 01:33:55,884
I found out the difference
between wrong and right.
1696
01:33:56,297 --> 01:33:58,345
You're wrong...
1697
01:33:58,424 --> 01:33:59,892
He's right.
1698
01:34:04,264 --> 01:34:06,608
Huh.
Would you believe it, Statler?
1699
01:34:06,724 --> 01:34:09,648
They're heroes.
Now they're gonna be obnoxious.
1700
01:34:09,727 --> 01:34:12,697
- So what else is new?
- [BOTH LAUGH]
1701
01:34:12,772 --> 01:34:15,150
Well, I say all's well that ends well.
1702
01:34:15,233 --> 01:34:17,486
It doesn't matter to me
as long as it ends.
1703
01:34:17,569 --> 01:34:19,116
[BOTH LAUGH]
1704
01:34:24,117 --> 01:34:25,243
[SIGHS]
1705
01:34:25,326 --> 01:34:28,045
it was nice of The Chronicle
to pay for our flight home.
1706
01:34:28,121 --> 01:34:31,625
Yeah, but a man should be
treated better than his luggage.
1707
01:34:31,708 --> 01:34:34,336
Yeah, well, my luggage
was sucked out the door.
1708
01:34:34,419 --> 01:34:36,421
Luckily my radio's frozen to my wrist.
1709
01:34:37,630 --> 01:34:41,055
Okay, guys.
Everybody out for the USA.
1710
01:34:41,134 --> 01:34:43,353
Oh, boy. How close are we?
1711
01:34:43,428 --> 01:34:45,726
- Oh, about 30,000 feet.
- [ALL GASP]
1712
01:34:45,805 --> 01:34:47,432
- KERMIT: You mean...
- Yup.
1713
01:34:48,266 --> 01:34:49,984
Happy landing!
1714
01:34:51,477 --> 01:34:52,649
Whoa!
1715
01:34:53,396 --> 01:34:55,524
Come on, carrot top.
1716
01:35:04,782 --> 01:35:06,659
[HEY, A MOVIE PLAYING]
1717
01:35:07,785 --> 01:35:11,164
- [SINGING] We've had comedy
- We've had mystery
1718
01:35:11,247 --> 01:35:14,592
We've had a real good time
and solved a crime real easily
1719
01:35:14,667 --> 01:35:18,262
- Hey, a movie
- I just can't believe they did it
1720
01:35:18,338 --> 01:35:21,683
- Starring everybody
- And me!
1721
01:35:21,758 --> 01:35:25,433
- There was spectacle
- There was fantasy
1722
01:35:25,511 --> 01:35:28,560
- Where we took a chance
- And saw romance end happily
1723
01:35:28,640 --> 01:35:29,641
In a movie
1724
01:35:29,724 --> 01:35:30,725
Oh, Kermie!
1725
01:35:30,808 --> 01:35:32,276
I just love a happy ending
1726
01:35:32,352 --> 01:35:36,232
- One for everybody
Everybody
1727
01:35:36,314 --> 01:35:39,693
- Everybody
- Everybody
1728
01:35:39,776 --> 01:35:43,201
- Everybody
- Everybody
1729
01:35:43,279 --> 01:35:46,328
Everybody in the world
1730
01:35:46,407 --> 01:35:48,034
- And me.
- And me.
1731
01:35:48,159 --> 01:35:49,752
- And me.
- And me.
1732
01:35:49,827 --> 01:35:51,670
- And me.
- And me.
1733
01:35:51,788 --> 01:35:53,461
- And me.
- [MEEPS]
1734
01:35:54,290 --> 01:35:55,507
And me.
1735
01:35:56,167 --> 01:35:57,714
- And me.
- And me.
1736
01:35:57,794 --> 01:35:59,512
- And me.
- And me.
1737
01:35:59,587 --> 01:36:01,214
- [SPEAKS MOCK SWEDISH]
- And me.
1738
01:36:01,297 --> 01:36:03,095
- And me.
- And me.
1739
01:36:04,759 --> 01:36:06,056
And me.
1740
01:36:12,016 --> 01:36:14,439
[THE FIRST TIME IT HAPPENS PLAYING]
1741
01:36:25,697 --> 01:36:29,201
Just warmer and colder
1742
01:36:29,492 --> 01:36:33,042
Than springtime or snow
1743
01:36:33,288 --> 01:36:38,294
The first time it happens, you know
1744
01:36:43,339 --> 01:36:46,969
And so you fall
1745
01:36:47,051 --> 01:36:50,476
And how complete it is
1746
01:36:50,555 --> 01:36:55,106
And for each moment that it lasts
1747
01:36:55,184 --> 01:36:58,529
How sweet it is
1748
01:37:38,728 --> 01:37:41,948
Wait a minute!
Wait! Hold it right there.
1749
01:37:42,065 --> 01:37:43,942
Don't go home yet.
1750
01:37:44,525 --> 01:37:45,947
Say cheese.
1751
01:37:48,237 --> 01:37:49,534
I'll send you each a copy.