1
00:00:09,675 --> 00:00:12,676
[ Women talking indistinctly ]
2
00:00:12,678 --> 00:00:14,044
Make a bit more room.
3
00:00:14,046 --> 00:00:15,311
Sit on the edge.
4
00:00:17,048 --> 00:00:20,082
Ladies. Oh, I thought
I was cutting it a bit fine.
5
00:00:20,084 --> 00:00:21,783
So I told him it's not...
6
00:00:21,785 --> 00:00:24,018
He says, "oh, that's..."
7
00:00:24,020 --> 00:00:27,121
[ Indistinct talking
continues ]
8
00:00:27,123 --> 00:00:28,589
She can get me the one color.
9
00:00:28,591 --> 00:00:31,625
[ "Jerusalem" plays on piano ]
10
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:40,433
♪ And did those feet... ♪
11
00:00:40,435 --> 00:00:42,368
so, ladies...
12
00:00:42,370 --> 00:00:44,803
Straight to the high point
of our meeting...
13
00:00:44,805 --> 00:00:47,205
our guest speaker.
14
00:00:47,207 --> 00:00:51,509
I'm very pleased to welcome
Alan Rathbone from York,
15
00:00:51,511 --> 00:00:54,111
who's gonna be giving us a talk
on the history
16
00:00:54,113 --> 00:00:57,214
of the milk marketing board.
17
00:00:57,216 --> 00:00:58,682
Thank you, Alan.
18
00:01:00,152 --> 00:01:02,152
Rathbone:
Good evening, ladies...
19
00:01:02,154 --> 00:01:03,686
Of the women's institute.
20
00:01:03,688 --> 00:01:07,322
♪ ...countenance divine... ♪
21
00:01:07,324 --> 00:01:11,626
ladies, I'd like to welcome
Iris Benton from Ilkley.
22
00:01:11,628 --> 00:01:16,363
She's come to lead us through
the fascinating world of rugs.
23
00:01:16,365 --> 00:01:18,598
[ Woman whispering ]
24
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:21,200
I beg your pardon, iris.
I stand corrected.
25
00:01:21,202 --> 00:01:25,137
It's not just rugs.
It's all forms of carpeting.
26
00:01:25,139 --> 00:01:26,805
Oh, thank God.
27
00:01:26,807 --> 00:01:28,606
For a minute there, I thought
it was going to be dull.
28
00:01:28,608 --> 00:01:29,773
Thank you, iris.
29
00:01:33,512 --> 00:01:37,213
♪ Bring me my bow... ♪
30
00:01:37,215 --> 00:01:40,349
our 'round-the-world cruise
started in September,
31
00:01:40,351 --> 00:01:43,185
in Skipton,
when we booked the tickets.
32
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,520
[ Stifling laughter ]
That's them.
33
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,722
They were a special offer,
34
00:01:47,724 --> 00:01:50,391
and it was essential,
my wife told me,
35
00:01:50,393 --> 00:01:52,826
shh.
To book them before
the 25th of the month.
36
00:01:52,828 --> 00:01:57,263
♪ ...chariot of fire ♪
37
00:01:57,265 --> 00:01:58,631
[ women snoring ] Thank you.
38
00:01:58,633 --> 00:02:00,099
♪ I will not cease ♪
39
00:02:00,101 --> 00:02:02,868
♪ from mental fight ♪
40
00:02:02,870 --> 00:02:09,707
♪ nor shall my sword sleep
in my hand ♪
41
00:02:09,709 --> 00:02:11,341
I don't know about you ladies,
42
00:02:11,476 --> 00:02:13,309
but can I just say, Pauline,
43
00:02:13,311 --> 00:02:17,279
I had no idea that broccoli
could be so intriguing.
44
00:02:17,281 --> 00:02:18,647
Thank you.
Thank you.
45
00:02:18,649 --> 00:02:19,814
[ Inhales sharply ]
46
00:02:20,149 --> 00:02:21,781
Now, then, ladies,
47
00:02:21,783 --> 00:02:24,316
[ laughing ]
Can I have a volunteer
to draw the raffle?
48
00:02:28,889 --> 00:02:30,588
No.
Yes!
49
00:02:30,723 --> 00:02:31,805
No!
50
00:02:31,806 --> 00:02:32,888
All right, I'll ask him.
51
00:02:32,891 --> 00:02:34,857
Volunteer your own husband.
52
00:02:34,859 --> 00:02:36,291
Oh, yeah, right.
53
00:02:36,293 --> 00:02:38,359
What's rod going to talk
to the W.I. About?
54
00:02:38,361 --> 00:02:39,693
Well, yeah, exactly.
55
00:02:39,695 --> 00:02:42,162
That's exactly
what John would say.
56
00:02:42,164 --> 00:02:43,396
What the hell
am I gonna speak about?
57
00:02:43,398 --> 00:02:44,597
But, John, I don't care.
58
00:02:44,599 --> 00:02:46,699
Whatever it is,
it's gonna be better
59
00:02:46,701 --> 00:02:49,301
fetch them seedlings.
Than the bloody history
of the cauliflower.
60
00:02:49,303 --> 00:02:51,480
Or whatever it is we've got
waiting for us next week.
Right...
61
00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:53,570
One seedling...
Annie...
Annie, tell him.
62
00:02:53,572 --> 00:02:55,772
In each pot.
John, the whole point
of the W.I.
63
00:02:55,774 --> 00:02:57,840
Is, uh...
Hey, listen to me.
64
00:02:57,842 --> 00:03:00,209
Annie, what is the point
of the W.I.?
65
00:03:00,211 --> 00:03:01,843
"Enlightenment,
66
00:03:01,845 --> 00:03:04,212
fun, and friendship."
"...Fun, and friendship."
67
00:03:04,214 --> 00:03:05,913
Well, there, you see?
It's right.
68
00:03:05,915 --> 00:03:07,714
It's... it's...
it's them... them things.
69
00:03:07,716 --> 00:03:09,132
[ Chuckling ]
70
00:03:09,133 --> 00:03:10,661
Obviously, in my case,
it's something you did
71
00:03:10,685 --> 00:03:11,850
because your mother
wanted you to,
72
00:03:11,852 --> 00:03:12,917
and then she went and died,
73
00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:14,451
you love it.
So it was too late.
74
00:03:14,453 --> 00:03:15,585
One seed in each pot.
In a minute.
75
00:03:15,587 --> 00:03:17,887
You're bloody useless, you are.
76
00:03:17,889 --> 00:03:19,488
[ Laughs ]
77
00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:22,190
Oh, look.
Is that all right like that?
78
00:03:38,808 --> 00:03:42,676
I've done the Harman wedding,
but the carnation table fronts
79
00:03:42,678 --> 00:03:45,645
need to be done for that
conference in Guiseley.
80
00:03:45,647 --> 00:03:49,348
Good lord. Nagging lilies.
[ Chuckles ]
81
00:03:50,317 --> 00:03:52,750
And I couldn't find
the order form.
82
00:03:58,691 --> 00:04:01,491
I thought after your
fantastic reorganization,
83
00:04:01,493 --> 00:04:04,260
all the order forms
had to go on the bent nail.
84
00:04:07,932 --> 00:04:10,465
Are you going upstairs
to do your homework?
85
00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:12,366
[ Chuckling ] Am I bollocks.
86
00:04:12,368 --> 00:04:14,468
What happened yesterday
can't happen ever again.
87
00:04:38,593 --> 00:04:40,826
[ Indistinct talking
on television ]
88
00:04:52,939 --> 00:04:54,905
[ Stairs creaking ]
89
00:04:55,807 --> 00:04:57,873
Jem?
90
00:04:57,875 --> 00:04:59,407
Mum. [ Sighs ]
91
00:04:59,409 --> 00:05:01,308
[ Footsteps ]
92
00:05:01,310 --> 00:05:02,842
[ Stairs creaking ]
93
00:05:05,813 --> 00:05:07,512
[ Chuckles ]
94
00:05:11,851 --> 00:05:13,317
[ Birds chirping ]
95
00:05:15,854 --> 00:05:17,787
Oh, you...
but... shoo!
96
00:05:17,789 --> 00:05:18,854
You beggar!
97
00:05:18,856 --> 00:05:19,921
[ Crow caws ]
98
00:05:19,923 --> 00:05:21,289
Go on!
99
00:05:31,567 --> 00:05:33,867
Oh, he's a little devil,
is that crow.
100
00:05:33,869 --> 00:05:37,637
He'll have all them seedlings
if we don't do something.
101
00:05:43,811 --> 00:05:46,044
Something we need to have
a little...
102
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:48,413
a little chat about.
103
00:05:48,415 --> 00:05:49,747
Annie...
104
00:05:49,749 --> 00:05:51,515
Don't leave me.
105
00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:54,384
[ Sighs ]
106
00:05:54,519 --> 00:05:56,385
Hey, come here.
107
00:05:57,454 --> 00:05:58,453
[ Chuckles ]
108
00:05:58,455 --> 00:06:01,289
Hey, hey.
109
00:06:01,291 --> 00:06:02,857
I'm not leaving you.
110
00:06:03,993 --> 00:06:05,859
You soft girl.
111
00:06:05,861 --> 00:06:07,560
[ Chuckles ]
112
00:06:07,562 --> 00:06:09,628
At least I bloody hope not.
113
00:06:20,573 --> 00:06:21,872
So, uh...
114
00:06:23,775 --> 00:06:25,841
You know what kind is it
he's got?
115
00:06:27,344 --> 00:06:30,411
Says he's gonna call it
"Saddam Hussein."
116
00:06:30,413 --> 00:06:31,512
[ Chuckles ]
117
00:06:34,550 --> 00:06:36,650
You should have told us.
118
00:06:36,652 --> 00:06:38,451
I'm your oldest friend.
119
00:06:38,453 --> 00:06:40,786
You should've told me
the moment you found out.
120
00:06:40,788 --> 00:06:42,387
I did.
121
00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:47,692
No big hoo-ha,
though, okay?
122
00:06:47,694 --> 00:06:49,677
Okay.
123
00:06:49,678 --> 00:06:51,773
It'll just make it easier
for him to get back to normal
124
00:06:51,797 --> 00:06:53,630
when he gets out,
you know, and, um,
125
00:06:53,632 --> 00:06:54,797
and the tests are clear.
126
00:06:54,799 --> 00:06:56,031
Yeah.
127
00:06:56,033 --> 00:06:57,866
And everything.
128
00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:01,803
[ Man shouts indistinctly ]
129
00:07:01,805 --> 00:07:04,038
[ Mid-tempo folk music plays ]
130
00:07:10,445 --> 00:07:12,945
Man on P.A.: All entries for
the home and craft competition
131
00:07:12,947 --> 00:07:15,948
to the W.I. Tent
immediately, please.
132
00:07:15,950 --> 00:07:17,582
What are they...
hells angels?
133
00:07:17,584 --> 00:07:19,750
[ Talking indistinctly ]
134
00:07:19,752 --> 00:07:21,451
Listen, we're gonna
make a move.
135
00:07:21,453 --> 00:07:22,852
We'll see you back
at the tents.
136
00:07:22,854 --> 00:07:24,119
All right.
See you later. Yeah.
137
00:07:24,121 --> 00:07:25,853
Yeah. Come...
[ Children squealing ]
138
00:07:29,124 --> 00:07:31,791
Oh, this is well done.
Right.
139
00:07:31,793 --> 00:07:34,393
"Garden in a plant pot."
Yeah, we've done that.
140
00:07:34,395 --> 00:07:36,561
"Straightest courgette."
Yeah, we've done that.
141
00:07:36,563 --> 00:07:38,429
"Most creative thing
done with an egg."
We've done that.
142
00:07:38,431 --> 00:07:39,797
Well, then, we've done
everything, haven't we? Come on!
143
00:07:39,799 --> 00:07:41,498
Look at 'em...
144
00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:43,032
Highgyll W.I.
145
00:07:43,034 --> 00:07:44,800
[ Mumbles mockingly ]
146
00:07:44,802 --> 00:07:46,968
"Let's arrange our cakes
'round an old cartwheel."
147
00:07:47,103 --> 00:07:48,969
Does look pretty, though.
148
00:07:48,971 --> 00:07:50,870
Whose side are you on, Brutus?
149
00:07:50,872 --> 00:07:51,904
No, I didn't mean...
150
00:07:51,906 --> 00:07:53,672
What's your event, by the way?
151
00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:55,673
"Tea tray."
152
00:07:55,675 --> 00:07:57,541
On an international theme.
153
00:07:57,543 --> 00:08:01,377
I did Jamaica, but it could be
anywhere in the Caribbean.
154
00:08:02,446 --> 00:08:04,246
You know,
if more people did W.I.,
155
00:08:04,248 --> 00:08:07,048
there'd be half the need
for hallucinogenic drugs.
156
00:08:07,050 --> 00:08:10,518
Good. Ruth.
International tea tray.
157
00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:13,187
"Victoria sponge."
Annie's on Victoria sponge.
158
00:08:13,189 --> 00:08:15,022
Um..."Something for under
a pound"...
159
00:08:15,024 --> 00:08:16,089
Kathy.
Kathy.
160
00:08:16,091 --> 00:08:17,857
Where's that?
161
00:08:21,762 --> 00:08:22,927
What's that?
162
00:08:22,929 --> 00:08:24,595
Well, Annie won't have
had time,
163
00:08:24,597 --> 00:08:27,130
running Yul Brynner in and out
of Skipton general,
164
00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:29,098
so... Ta-da.
165
00:08:29,100 --> 00:08:31,667
Oh, I'm sorry.
Just took a bit long...
166
00:08:31,669 --> 00:08:33,168
oh, my God, the cake!
167
00:08:33,170 --> 00:08:35,737
Told you.
It's all right.
Chris has saved the day.
168
00:08:35,739 --> 00:08:37,205
You baked that?
169
00:08:37,207 --> 00:08:39,774
Well, I'm not a total
dead loss as a woman.
170
00:08:39,776 --> 00:08:41,642
I can't knit or make plum jam,
171
00:08:41,644 --> 00:08:43,977
but I can bake
a bloody Victoria sponge.
172
00:08:43,979 --> 00:08:45,712
Ooh. All right.
Thank you.
173
00:08:45,847 --> 00:08:47,613
Of course, I didn't
actually bake this one.
174
00:08:47,615 --> 00:08:48,747
I got it from marks & Spencer's
but, you know...
175
00:08:48,749 --> 00:08:49,881
What?! What?!
176
00:08:49,883 --> 00:08:51,349
The point is...
177
00:08:51,350 --> 00:08:52,816
You can't enter a cake
that you've bought in a shop!
178
00:08:52,819 --> 00:08:54,702
Get off!
179
00:08:54,703 --> 00:08:56,586
It doesn't matter
where it comes from, does it?
180
00:08:56,589 --> 00:09:00,290
This is about putting up
a united front against Highgyll.
181
00:09:00,292 --> 00:09:02,058
This isn't bakery.
182
00:09:03,661 --> 00:09:04,960
It's Zulu.
183
00:09:06,863 --> 00:09:08,562
On the ready!
184
00:09:08,564 --> 00:09:10,230
[ Cheering ]
185
00:09:13,134 --> 00:09:15,934
I did. I put more
than last year.
186
00:09:15,936 --> 00:09:18,303
I thought it would be better.
187
00:09:18,305 --> 00:09:20,938
Man on P.A.: Uh, will the
parents of the young lad
188
00:09:20,940 --> 00:09:22,773
in the spider-man t-shirt
189
00:09:22,775 --> 00:09:24,908
please meet him
under the gorilla?
190
00:09:25,310 --> 00:09:26,609
[ Ding ]
191
00:09:27,044 --> 00:09:28,543
[ Cheering ]
192
00:09:28,545 --> 00:09:31,712
Now, excitement
in the main tent,
193
00:09:31,714 --> 00:09:34,181
where the W.I. Judging's begun.
194
00:09:34,183 --> 00:09:35,215
Oh, yeah?
195
00:09:35,217 --> 00:09:36,983
Jury's back.
Yeah.
196
00:09:36,985 --> 00:09:38,584
Ladies and gentlemen...
197
00:09:38,586 --> 00:09:42,054
The winner of this year's
may Wilkinson trophy
198
00:09:42,056 --> 00:09:46,158
for Victoria sponge,
maximum 12-inch diameter,
199
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:50,795
I'm pleased to say,
is entry number 213...
200
00:09:52,098 --> 00:09:53,797
Nice knowing you, Chris.
201
00:09:53,799 --> 00:09:55,598
[ Imitating "the fly" ]
Help me.
202
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:56,799
Oh, that's interesting.
203
00:09:56,801 --> 00:09:59,168
Entered by Knapely W.I.
204
00:09:59,170 --> 00:10:04,072
And baked by Chris Harper.
205
00:10:10,112 --> 00:10:13,012
Very, very well done.
It's a beautiful cake.
206
00:10:13,014 --> 00:10:14,046
Thanks.
Thanks very much.
207
00:10:14,048 --> 00:10:15,947
And I'm proud to say
208
00:10:16,082 --> 00:10:18,715
this cake also wins
209
00:10:18,717 --> 00:10:23,085
the judges'
2002 discretionary award.
210
00:10:24,254 --> 00:10:26,120
[ Whistling ]
211
00:10:28,324 --> 00:10:29,723
[ Squeals ]
212
00:10:30,692 --> 00:10:32,858
Really beautiful.
213
00:10:32,860 --> 00:10:34,025
Thank you.
214
00:10:36,929 --> 00:10:40,163
Listen, I never normally
ask this...
215
00:10:40,165 --> 00:10:44,033
the lightness of that sponge.
216
00:10:44,035 --> 00:10:45,968
Is there a...
a trick...
217
00:10:45,970 --> 00:10:48,937
a technique...
how you got that?
218
00:10:58,681 --> 00:10:59,813
Uh...
219
00:10:59,815 --> 00:11:01,848
Well... well, um,
220
00:11:01,850 --> 00:11:04,283
I basically stuck to
me mother's advice
221
00:11:04,285 --> 00:11:06,918
about cake baking...
yes.
222
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:12,022
Uh, which is, uh,
line the bowl with butter,
223
00:11:12,024 --> 00:11:14,958
always use a warm spoon...
224
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,226
And if it's a special event...
225
00:11:17,228 --> 00:11:19,861
Get it at marks & Spencer's.
226
00:11:20,697 --> 00:11:23,064
[ Laughs ]
227
00:11:23,066 --> 00:11:24,999
[ All laughing ]
228
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:28,035
Oh! Oh.
229
00:11:33,208 --> 00:11:34,774
[ Laughing ] Here comes...
230
00:11:34,776 --> 00:11:35,975
Throw the cake at them.
231
00:11:35,977 --> 00:11:37,009
Oh!
232
00:11:37,011 --> 00:11:38,677
[ Laughs ]
233
00:11:38,679 --> 00:11:41,046
Are you throwing my cake?
234
00:11:41,048 --> 00:11:43,048
That is disrespectful.
235
00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:45,050
This is very good.
236
00:11:45,052 --> 00:11:46,885
Of course it's good.
237
00:11:46,887 --> 00:11:49,921
They don't give
the may Wilkinson out lightly,
238
00:11:50,056 --> 00:11:51,255
you know.
239
00:11:51,257 --> 00:11:53,991
In fact, I'm going to
be asked to do
240
00:11:53,993 --> 00:11:55,926
a master class
at the W.I.
241
00:11:55,928 --> 00:11:57,794
Oh, that'll be interesting.
242
00:11:57,796 --> 00:11:59,862
Oh, well... well,
wasn't I supposed to do one?
243
00:11:59,864 --> 00:12:01,663
Something? Yeah?
Mmm.
244
00:12:01,665 --> 00:12:03,898
For the W.I.?
Or don't you want that?
245
00:12:03,900 --> 00:12:06,100
Anyway, I tell you what,
if you...
246
00:12:06,235 --> 00:12:09,302
if you want me to do it,
you better get it in quick.
247
00:12:09,304 --> 00:12:10,836
[ Birds squawking ]
248
00:12:14,975 --> 00:12:21,045
♪ Bring me my bow
of burning gold ♪
249
00:12:22,148 --> 00:12:24,014
go, go, go, go, go.
250
00:12:24,016 --> 00:12:25,016
Kiss.
251
00:12:25,951 --> 00:12:27,450
They're on "arrows of desire."
252
00:12:27,452 --> 00:12:29,819
You're not going off to ilkley
without a kiss.
253
00:12:29,821 --> 00:12:32,321
Love, I go every Thursday.
It's not an overseas posting.
254
00:12:32,323 --> 00:12:33,989
Kiss.
255
00:12:43,332 --> 00:12:49,902
♪ Nor shall my sword sleep
in my hand ♪
256
00:12:49,904 --> 00:12:56,007
♪ till we have built
Jerusalem ♪
257
00:12:56,009 --> 00:13:04,009
♪ in England’s
green and pleasant land ♪
258
00:13:13,892 --> 00:13:16,125
well, firstly,
how else could we start
259
00:13:16,127 --> 00:13:19,027
than by congratulating Chris
260
00:13:19,029 --> 00:13:21,763
on not only winning
the may Wilkinson
261
00:13:21,765 --> 00:13:24,031
but also the judges'
discretionary ribbon.
262
00:13:24,033 --> 00:13:25,866
[ Piano fanfare plays ]
263
00:13:29,204 --> 00:13:30,937
We're so pleased.
264
00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:40,346
Now, the next item on the agenda
is the calendar.
265
00:13:40,348 --> 00:13:42,915
Last year, we had views
of local Bridges.
266
00:13:42,917 --> 00:13:45,417
So this year,
I thought we could go for
267
00:13:45,419 --> 00:13:48,386
the 12 most beautiful views
of...
268
00:13:48,388 --> 00:13:49,954
George Clooney.
269
00:13:49,956 --> 00:13:51,188
The churches
of Wharfedale.
270
00:13:51,190 --> 00:13:52,822
11 fully clothed
271
00:13:52,824 --> 00:13:55,057
and a little lift-the-flap
for December.
272
00:13:55,059 --> 00:13:56,191
[ Stifled laughter ]
273
00:13:56,193 --> 00:13:57,825
Chris?
274
00:13:57,827 --> 00:14:00,861
Yeah? Oh, no.
No. Nothing.
275
00:14:00,863 --> 00:14:02,162
She said,
"George Clooney."
276
00:14:02,164 --> 00:14:03,164
[ Laughter ]
277
00:14:04,499 --> 00:14:06,031
No.
278
00:14:06,033 --> 00:14:09,000
No, Marie, I'm... I'm fine,
you know, with whatever.
279
00:14:09,002 --> 00:14:12,370
Churches of Wharfedale
it is, then.
280
00:14:12,372 --> 00:14:13,938
[ Laughs ]
281
00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:15,906
Well, it should be
bloody George Clooney.
282
00:14:15,908 --> 00:14:17,807
I mean, come the toss
between Burnsall church
283
00:14:17,809 --> 00:14:19,442
and George Clooney,
284
00:14:19,443 --> 00:14:21,076
I know which one I'd rather
wake up looking at.
285
00:14:21,078 --> 00:14:23,244
Hey, it is a Norman church,
you know.
286
00:14:23,246 --> 00:14:26,046
Oh, I'm not disputing the
loveliness of the church, John.
287
00:14:26,048 --> 00:14:28,381
It's the firmness of
the buttocks I'm worried about.
288
00:14:28,383 --> 00:14:29,782
[ Laughs ]
289
00:14:29,784 --> 00:14:31,150
Hey, careful.
You'll pull your drip out.
290
00:14:31,152 --> 00:14:32,885
I mean, anyway, let's face it.
291
00:14:32,887 --> 00:14:34,453
Oh, hate to be
a revolutionary...
292
00:14:34,455 --> 00:14:36,354
it might actually sell
a few copies.
293
00:14:36,356 --> 00:14:37,521
[ Laughing ] Yeah.
294
00:14:37,523 --> 00:14:40,891
The W.I. Posing pouch
calendar.
295
00:14:40,893 --> 00:14:42,158
Flesh sells, I tell you.
296
00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:44,126
Yeah.
[ Breathes deeply ]
297
00:14:44,128 --> 00:14:46,294
Right. Decided.
298
00:14:46,296 --> 00:14:48,496
So, where do we get
a photographer?
299
00:14:48,498 --> 00:14:50,064
Art college.
300
00:14:50,066 --> 00:14:51,365
It's full of charlatans
301
00:14:51,367 --> 00:14:53,567
who prostitute their talent
for money.
302
00:14:53,569 --> 00:14:54,868
Is it?
Yeah.
303
00:14:54,870 --> 00:14:56,469
Lawrence was telling me.
304
00:14:57,939 --> 00:15:00,039
[ Straining ] Hey, you...
you want to see
305
00:15:00,041 --> 00:15:01,507
this kid's photographs?
306
00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:03,575
Yeah, look,
don't go on about them.
307
00:15:03,577 --> 00:15:06,110
He's taking some
of me sunflowers
308
00:15:06,112 --> 00:15:08,312
to see how they're getting on.
309
00:15:08,314 --> 00:15:10,113
See, it's not...
it's not your photographer...
310
00:15:10,115 --> 00:15:11,414
it's your models.
311
00:15:11,416 --> 00:15:12,848
Professional models cost
a bloody bomb.
312
00:15:12,850 --> 00:15:15,250
Hey...
313
00:15:15,252 --> 00:15:17,385
I'll model for you for nowt.
314
00:15:17,387 --> 00:15:19,854
[ Scoffs ] No, thanks, John.
315
00:15:19,856 --> 00:15:21,288
I've just seen your backside,
316
00:15:21,290 --> 00:15:22,922
and, believe me,
it's not like George's.
317
00:15:23,057 --> 00:15:24,057
[ Laughs ]
318
00:15:39,506 --> 00:15:41,239
There you go.
319
00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:43,074
[ Springs squeaking ] Ow!
320
00:15:43,076 --> 00:15:45,443
Oh, this bloody settee.
321
00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:48,979
They're gonna need
another relatives room.
322
00:15:48,981 --> 00:15:50,981
For the relatives of
the relatives who got injured
323
00:15:50,983 --> 00:15:53,483
on the settee
in the bloody relatives room.
324
00:15:54,853 --> 00:15:56,018
[ Sighs ]
325
00:15:56,020 --> 00:15:57,886
[ Clicks tongue ]
326
00:15:57,888 --> 00:16:00,155
So, did you talk
to the specialist?
327
00:16:02,259 --> 00:16:05,293
John seems chirpier to me today.
What's the old, um...
328
00:16:05,295 --> 00:16:07,495
Pneumonia and septicemia.
329
00:16:07,497 --> 00:16:10,064
Oh, well, that's good.
I've heard of those.
330
00:16:10,066 --> 00:16:13,734
They can deal with those,
can't they?
331
00:16:13,736 --> 00:16:17,204
It means
his immune system's weakened.
332
00:16:17,206 --> 00:16:19,172
Chemo isn't working.
333
00:16:22,010 --> 00:16:25,044
Which means we're finally
out of straws.
334
00:16:29,517 --> 00:16:30,997
[ Breathing heavily ]
[ Cows mooing ]
335
00:16:31,118 --> 00:16:32,117
[ Sighs ]
336
00:16:32,119 --> 00:16:36,254
Don't you go buying
any benches.
337
00:16:36,256 --> 00:16:39,156
I'll do what the hell I like,
John Clarke.
338
00:16:39,158 --> 00:16:42,492
You put a bench out here...
339
00:16:42,494 --> 00:16:46,162
It'll have
"Leeds stuffed arsenal" on it
340
00:16:46,164 --> 00:16:48,197
before you get back to the car.
341
00:16:48,199 --> 00:16:49,431
[ Laughs ]
342
00:16:51,334 --> 00:16:52,334
Come on.
343
00:17:00,142 --> 00:17:02,242
I've written me speech.
344
00:17:03,211 --> 00:17:04,210
W.I.
345
00:17:04,212 --> 00:17:05,578
All right.
346
00:17:05,580 --> 00:17:07,513
[ Paper rustling ]
347
00:17:07,515 --> 00:17:11,316
I did it about me job.
348
00:17:11,318 --> 00:17:13,017
And all this.
349
00:17:15,054 --> 00:17:17,186
You read it to me.
350
00:17:20,624 --> 00:17:23,024
[ Sighs ]
351
00:17:23,026 --> 00:17:26,193
"Flowers of Yorkshire are like
the women of Yorkshire."
352
00:17:27,062 --> 00:17:31,030
"Every stage of their growth
353
00:17:31,032 --> 00:17:35,099
is more beautiful
than the last."
354
00:17:38,137 --> 00:17:41,238
"But the last phase...
355
00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:43,807
Is always
the most glorious."
356
00:17:47,679 --> 00:17:49,311
[ Sighs ]
357
00:17:59,055 --> 00:18:01,455
"Then, very quickly,
they all go to seed."
358
00:18:01,457 --> 00:18:02,789
[ Laughs ]
359
00:18:05,660 --> 00:18:08,761
[ Laughing ] Oh, you...
360
00:18:08,763 --> 00:18:10,195
Cheeky beggar.
361
00:18:45,498 --> 00:18:47,631
A while ago,
362
00:18:47,633 --> 00:18:50,133
I asked John Clarke
to give us a talk here
363
00:18:50,135 --> 00:18:51,667
at Knapely w.I.
364
00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:57,172
Annie asked me to read it
to you here tonight.
365
00:18:57,174 --> 00:18:59,641
And this is what he wrote.
366
00:19:01,811 --> 00:19:06,113
"The flowers of Yorkshire
are like the women of Yorkshire.
367
00:19:06,115 --> 00:19:09,349
"Every stage of their growth
has its own beauty,
368
00:19:09,351 --> 00:19:12,418
but the last phase is always
the most glorious."
369
00:19:14,121 --> 00:19:16,754
"Then, very quickly,
they all go to seed..."
370
00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:18,722
[ Laughter ]
371
00:19:18,724 --> 00:19:21,257
"...which makes it ironic...
372
00:19:21,259 --> 00:19:24,760
"my favorite flower isn't even
indigenous to the British isles,
373
00:19:24,762 --> 00:19:26,862
"let alone Yorkshire.
374
00:19:26,864 --> 00:19:29,898
"I don't think there's anything
on this planet
375
00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:34,269
that more trumpets life
than the sunflower."
376
00:19:35,171 --> 00:19:38,739
"For me, that's because of
the reason behind its name...
377
00:19:38,874 --> 00:19:41,174
"not because
it looks like the sun,
378
00:19:41,176 --> 00:19:45,278
"but because
it follows the sun.
379
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:47,313
"During the course of the day,
380
00:19:47,315 --> 00:19:52,217
"the head tracks the journey
of the sun across the sky.
381
00:19:52,219 --> 00:19:56,521
"A satellite dish for sunshine.
382
00:19:56,523 --> 00:19:59,891
"Wherever light is,
no matter how weak,
383
00:19:59,893 --> 00:20:02,493
"these flowers will find it,
384
00:20:02,495 --> 00:20:05,929
"and that's such
an admirable thing...
385
00:20:05,931 --> 00:20:08,831
And such a lesson in life."
386
00:20:11,602 --> 00:20:13,268
[ Birds chirping ]
387
00:20:18,574 --> 00:20:20,407
[ Metal clanks ]
388
00:20:20,409 --> 00:20:21,875
[ Exhales sharply ]
389
00:20:21,877 --> 00:20:24,611
You ran into a gate?
How'd you do that?
390
00:20:24,613 --> 00:20:25,912
[ Mumbles ]
391
00:20:25,914 --> 00:20:28,180
You what?
392
00:20:28,182 --> 00:20:29,247
He does a paper round.
393
00:20:29,249 --> 00:20:31,182
It pays for
his elocution lessons.
394
00:20:31,184 --> 00:20:34,818
Yeah? Well, he's bent these
good-style.
395
00:20:34,820 --> 00:20:35,919
It'll be, uh...
396
00:20:35,921 --> 00:20:37,186
Uh...
397
00:20:37,188 --> 00:20:39,388
25 quid, that, love.
398
00:20:39,390 --> 00:20:40,822
I have to have it.
399
00:20:42,926 --> 00:20:44,292
Mum?
400
00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:51,831
Ted, would you mind
if I borrowed this?
401
00:20:52,967 --> 00:20:54,199
No.
402
00:20:56,836 --> 00:21:00,970
Moving gently into the locust.
403
00:21:01,906 --> 00:21:06,474
And then... We have...
404
00:21:07,543 --> 00:21:09,242
The lion...
405
00:21:12,213 --> 00:21:13,712
I have to admit,
406
00:21:13,714 --> 00:21:16,514
I'm concerned about our
great leader's grasp of tai chi.
407
00:21:16,516 --> 00:21:19,650
And into the llama.
408
00:21:19,785 --> 00:21:21,251
Llama?
Llama?
409
00:21:21,253 --> 00:21:22,785
Are there llamas in China?
410
00:21:22,787 --> 00:21:23,787
Okay...
411
00:21:23,921 --> 00:21:25,854
What?
[ Light laughter ]
412
00:21:25,856 --> 00:21:28,323
Are you all looking
in the right direction?
413
00:21:29,259 --> 00:21:30,725
See you Thursday, girls.
414
00:21:30,727 --> 00:21:31,892
Bye, love.
Bye.
Bye.
415
00:21:31,894 --> 00:21:33,293
Bye.
416
00:21:34,429 --> 00:21:36,295
How's Annie?
417
00:21:36,297 --> 00:21:38,330
How can we help, do you think?
418
00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:43,901
Are you doing anything
tomorrow afternoon?
419
00:21:43,903 --> 00:21:45,235
[ School bell rings ]
420
00:21:45,237 --> 00:21:46,803
[ Indistinct talking ]
421
00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:48,838
[ Bicycle bell dings ]
422
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:50,873
[ Indistinct talking ]
423
00:21:55,612 --> 00:21:56,612
[ Girls laughing ]
424
00:22:00,950 --> 00:22:02,616
It is...
I'm telling you.
425
00:22:02,618 --> 00:22:04,651
Girls laughing is a good sign.
426
00:22:05,954 --> 00:22:07,853
It's a top sign, I tell you.
427
00:22:09,323 --> 00:22:11,423
Bloody hell, if you're
in with Debbie Nolan...
428
00:22:11,425 --> 00:22:13,258
not being unsound here, but...
429
00:22:13,260 --> 00:22:16,628
She has got
the most fantastic tits.
430
00:22:16,630 --> 00:22:18,663
She has got
fi-I-Ne mangoes.
431
00:22:20,433 --> 00:22:22,633
Actually, not mangoes.
432
00:22:22,635 --> 00:22:26,003
I don't imagine
they'd be hard like mangoes.
433
00:22:26,005 --> 00:22:28,805
Maybe... Plums.
434
00:22:28,807 --> 00:22:30,840
Ripe plums.
435
00:22:30,842 --> 00:22:33,876
You know...
big, ripe plums.
436
00:22:37,548 --> 00:22:39,848
No, what am I saying?
437
00:22:39,850 --> 00:22:42,851
No, not plums...
balloons!
438
00:22:42,853 --> 00:22:44,419
That's it.
439
00:22:44,421 --> 00:22:46,854
That's exactly
what they're like.
440
00:22:46,856 --> 00:22:48,956
A pair of balloons you find
behind your settee
441
00:22:48,958 --> 00:22:50,324
three days after a party.
442
00:22:50,326 --> 00:22:51,558
Gaz...
443
00:22:51,693 --> 00:22:55,394
Will you stop talking
about tits?
444
00:22:55,396 --> 00:22:58,397
Why would I ever
want to do that?
445
00:23:00,868 --> 00:23:03,435
Well, I think
it's a great idea.
446
00:23:03,437 --> 00:23:06,037
You weren't concentrating,
were you, Ruth?
447
00:23:06,039 --> 00:23:07,505
I was.
448
00:23:07,507 --> 00:23:09,773
We're going to raise money
for the hospital
449
00:23:09,775 --> 00:23:11,875
to buy a sofa in John's name.
450
00:23:11,877 --> 00:23:15,077
By posing for a nude calendar.
451
00:23:17,347 --> 00:23:18,779
Oh, no!
452
00:23:18,781 --> 00:23:20,831
Oh, sit down.
453
00:23:20,832 --> 00:23:22,882
I'm not asking you to straddle
an Harley-Davidson.
454
00:23:22,885 --> 00:23:25,986
It's still a bit of a leap
from Burnsall church, love.
455
00:23:25,988 --> 00:23:27,687
Yes, but that's
the whole point.
456
00:23:27,822 --> 00:23:29,488
You see, like,
it's... it's an...
457
00:23:29,623 --> 00:23:32,390
it's an alternative calendar.
It's, um...
458
00:23:32,392 --> 00:23:34,024
It's what John suggested.
459
00:23:34,026 --> 00:23:35,592
Did he?
460
00:23:35,594 --> 00:23:37,460
"The last stage of the flower
461
00:23:37,462 --> 00:23:39,728
is the most glorious."
462
00:23:39,730 --> 00:23:41,830
So what this calendar
would be saying is,
463
00:23:41,832 --> 00:23:44,532
"yes, John,
actually, we agree."
464
00:23:44,534 --> 00:23:47,968
With respect, I didn't hear him
use the phrase,
465
00:23:47,970 --> 00:23:49,669
"whip your bras off."
466
00:23:50,805 --> 00:23:52,404
[ Clears throat ]
467
00:23:52,406 --> 00:23:55,807
It's £999 in the leather,
that sofa.
468
00:23:55,809 --> 00:23:59,877
Can I remind you how much
last year's calendar raised?
469
00:23:59,879 --> 00:24:01,845
£75.60.
470
00:24:01,847 --> 00:24:03,813
60.
471
00:24:04,882 --> 00:24:06,414
Are you having it?
472
00:24:06,416 --> 00:24:08,682
Ho ho, we're having it,
all right.
473
00:24:08,684 --> 00:24:10,383
Come on, I'll show you it all.
474
00:24:10,518 --> 00:24:12,818
Yeah, we'll get back to you.
Thank you.
475
00:24:12,820 --> 00:24:14,019
Jem: She's...
476
00:24:15,422 --> 00:24:18,356
I don't know.
She's being weird.
477
00:24:18,358 --> 00:24:21,092
Normal weird or weird weird?
478
00:24:21,094 --> 00:24:22,660
She found this.
479
00:24:22,662 --> 00:24:25,129
You're kidding.
"Big bazookas."
480
00:24:25,131 --> 00:24:26,997
I saw her looking at it.
481
00:24:26,999 --> 00:24:29,599
God, I bet
she went off her head.
482
00:24:29,601 --> 00:24:32,768
My mum did when she found
me "rubber housewives."
483
00:24:32,770 --> 00:24:33,835
[ Chuckles ]
484
00:24:35,939 --> 00:24:38,139
It's a difficult age.
485
00:24:38,141 --> 00:24:40,208
Roundabout now,
486
00:24:40,210 --> 00:24:43,044
women go through
a difficult age...
487
00:24:43,046 --> 00:24:47,014
When they get
all irrational and odd
488
00:24:47,016 --> 00:24:48,915
and difficult to predict.
489
00:24:48,917 --> 00:24:50,182
How do you know?
490
00:24:50,184 --> 00:24:51,616
Me dad told me.
491
00:24:52,852 --> 00:24:53,852
Right...
492
00:24:53,986 --> 00:24:54,985
No.
Ruth...
493
00:24:54,987 --> 00:24:56,453
I've got to go, anyway.
494
00:24:56,454 --> 00:24:57,920
Eddie's getting back
from ilkley.
495
00:24:57,923 --> 00:24:59,956
Nobody's going to see
anything, I promise you.
496
00:24:59,958 --> 00:25:01,524
You take the picture.
497
00:25:01,526 --> 00:25:04,026
Oh, I'm... I'm not quite sure
how to shoot...
498
00:25:04,895 --> 00:25:05,911
Oh!
499
00:25:05,912 --> 00:25:06,928
No, not yet. Wait.
500
00:25:06,930 --> 00:25:08,829
Oh, you've just taken one
of the table.
501
00:25:08,831 --> 00:25:10,730
Won't sell a lot
of calendars, will it?
502
00:25:10,732 --> 00:25:12,031
It's that button.
503
00:25:12,033 --> 00:25:13,999
Right.
504
00:25:16,236 --> 00:25:18,069
Can anyone see my nipples?
505
00:25:18,071 --> 00:25:20,571
You bloody would
if it were your mum.
506
00:25:20,573 --> 00:25:22,272
Look, what's she done?
507
00:25:22,274 --> 00:25:25,575
Flicked through one jazz mag
and looked at a mucky calendar.
508
00:25:25,577 --> 00:25:27,510
That doesn't make her
a lesbian.
509
00:25:31,015 --> 00:25:32,015
Annie: Hi, Jem.
510
00:25:35,919 --> 00:25:37,752
Your mother's...
511
00:25:37,754 --> 00:25:39,954
Just, uh...
512
00:25:39,956 --> 00:25:41,021
Um...
513
00:25:41,023 --> 00:25:42,255
Uh, just, uh...
514
00:25:42,257 --> 00:25:45,191
Just go on upstairs
with your friend, okay?
515
00:26:03,310 --> 00:26:04,542
[ Door closes ]
516
00:26:05,144 --> 00:26:06,309
[ Keys jingling ]
517
00:26:07,578 --> 00:26:09,277
How was ilkley?
518
00:26:09,279 --> 00:26:11,279
Hey, what are you doing up?
519
00:26:18,020 --> 00:26:19,085
How'd it go?
520
00:26:19,087 --> 00:26:20,252
Oh...[ Sighs ]
521
00:26:20,254 --> 00:26:21,853
You know.
522
00:26:21,988 --> 00:26:25,622
They're not a scintillating
lot... carpet dealers.
523
00:26:25,624 --> 00:26:28,023
They only get excited
about bonded underlay.
524
00:26:29,993 --> 00:26:31,258
Coming to bed?
525
00:26:31,260 --> 00:26:33,226
Aye, in a bit.
526
00:26:33,228 --> 00:26:35,828
Just having a wind-down.
527
00:26:35,830 --> 00:26:39,064
Man on TV: Customer base
will come through.
528
00:26:39,066 --> 00:26:42,067
I don't want any more
announcements of redundancies.
529
00:26:42,069 --> 00:26:44,002
[ Women laughing ]
530
00:26:46,773 --> 00:26:48,172
[ Bells jingle ]
531
00:26:56,882 --> 00:26:58,314
I've come for my photos.
532
00:26:58,316 --> 00:27:01,283
Uh, I can't find me little,
you know, receipt thingy.
533
00:27:01,285 --> 00:27:03,018
The name's har...
here they are.
534
00:27:03,820 --> 00:27:05,619
It's £4.99, please.
535
00:27:05,621 --> 00:27:06,319
Thank you.
536
00:27:06,321 --> 00:27:07,353
[ Sniffles ]
537
00:27:09,990 --> 00:27:11,856
Keep the penny.
Thank you.
538
00:27:11,858 --> 00:27:14,291
[ Stifled laughter ]
539
00:27:21,265 --> 00:27:23,031
I'm surprised they printed it.
540
00:27:23,033 --> 00:27:25,099
Oh, it's probably
on the Internet by now.
541
00:27:25,101 --> 00:27:27,101
From the sound of it,
most people have
seen it already.
542
00:27:27,103 --> 00:27:28,902
[ Laughter ]
543
00:27:29,971 --> 00:27:31,770
Oh, for God's sake.
544
00:27:31,772 --> 00:27:33,938
I mean, lots of people have
their photos taken
545
00:27:33,940 --> 00:27:36,073
with their tops off on holiday
in Ibiza, don't they?
546
00:27:36,075 --> 00:27:38,875
I think it just probably came
as a slight shock, Chris...
547
00:27:38,877 --> 00:27:42,612
what with the previous 15 photos
being of flower arrangements.
548
00:27:42,614 --> 00:27:43,946
[ Laughter ]
549
00:27:43,948 --> 00:27:45,948
Oh, I've screwed up
a-bloody-gain, haven't I?
550
00:27:45,950 --> 00:27:46,950
Yet a-bloody-gain.
551
00:27:47,084 --> 00:27:48,883
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
552
00:27:48,885 --> 00:27:52,319
Look, what we have to ask
ourselves here is this...
553
00:27:52,321 --> 00:27:54,354
what is the difference
between this
554
00:27:54,356 --> 00:27:55,955
and the Venus de Milo?
555
00:27:55,957 --> 00:27:57,323
Oh, I love quizzes.
556
00:27:58,292 --> 00:28:00,892
The cooker?
Celia.
557
00:28:00,894 --> 00:28:04,662
Both feature women
with their breasts exposed.
558
00:28:04,797 --> 00:28:07,164
What makes one a work of art?
559
00:28:07,166 --> 00:28:09,232
I think the answer to that
is very simple...
560
00:28:09,234 --> 00:28:10,733
an artist.
561
00:28:10,735 --> 00:28:12,668
She's clever.
[ Groans ]
562
00:28:14,705 --> 00:28:16,204
An artist.
563
00:28:25,981 --> 00:28:26,913
Oh... oh...
564
00:28:26,915 --> 00:28:28,781
She's lovely.
565
00:28:28,783 --> 00:28:30,949
Lovely light you've used
on the face there.
566
00:28:30,951 --> 00:28:32,984
Yes. Really got her eyes,
didn't he.
567
00:28:32,986 --> 00:28:34,652
And...
and all those curls.
568
00:28:34,654 --> 00:28:35,686
Mm-hmm.
569
00:28:37,189 --> 00:28:39,656
Oh... Oh...
570
00:28:39,658 --> 00:28:41,391
So, have you photographed
many humans,
571
00:28:41,393 --> 00:28:42,425
or is it mainly, um...
572
00:28:42,427 --> 00:28:44,727
Uh, 'tis mainly poodles.
573
00:28:44,729 --> 00:28:46,028
Oh. Oh.
574
00:28:46,030 --> 00:28:48,730
The blood represents
globalization,
575
00:28:48,732 --> 00:28:52,299
and the, uh, sheep's skull
is the death of democracy.
576
00:28:53,402 --> 00:28:54,901
And the carrot?
577
00:28:54,903 --> 00:28:57,003
The carrot is capitalism.
578
00:28:57,005 --> 00:28:58,270
Oh. Oh.
579
00:29:01,108 --> 00:29:02,440
[ Gasps ]
580
00:29:02,442 --> 00:29:04,241
Mainly orchids.
581
00:29:04,376 --> 00:29:08,111
I'm particularly interested
in woodland orchids.
582
00:29:08,113 --> 00:29:09,412
And butterflies.
583
00:29:09,414 --> 00:29:12,915
I love photographing
native butterflies.
584
00:29:13,050 --> 00:29:14,916
What exactly is your project?
585
00:29:19,688 --> 00:29:21,988
Hello, ladies.
586
00:29:21,990 --> 00:29:22,989
[ Chuckles ]
587
00:29:22,991 --> 00:29:25,925
[ Telephone rings ]
588
00:29:25,927 --> 00:29:28,193
It'll be all right.
589
00:29:28,195 --> 00:29:29,961
Yes, you can go to...
590
00:29:29,963 --> 00:29:31,796
This is crazy.
591
00:29:31,798 --> 00:29:33,898
He won't remember.
592
00:29:33,900 --> 00:29:37,734
Must see thousands of people
come through here every day.
593
00:29:39,104 --> 00:29:41,070
Ah, Mrs. Clarke.
594
00:29:41,072 --> 00:29:42,905
John's wife.
595
00:29:42,907 --> 00:29:44,239
Yes.
596
00:29:44,241 --> 00:29:45,907
Hiya.
597
00:29:46,042 --> 00:29:47,874
Hiya.
598
00:29:51,012 --> 00:29:52,411
[ Chuckles ]
599
00:29:52,413 --> 00:29:53,413
Um...
600
00:29:54,782 --> 00:29:56,715
Are you serious?
601
00:29:56,717 --> 00:29:59,851
You got 12 women in Skipton
who are all, uh...
602
00:29:59,986 --> 00:30:02,086
Committed to doing
a nude photo shoot?
603
00:30:02,088 --> 00:30:04,054
Well, technically,
we haven't got 12.
604
00:30:04,056 --> 00:30:05,989
Yes.
605
00:30:05,990 --> 00:30:07,923
So long as we can find
the right photographer.
606
00:30:10,995 --> 00:30:12,427
[ Organ music plays ]
607
00:30:20,036 --> 00:30:22,970
We've found
the right photographer.
608
00:30:24,373 --> 00:30:26,306
Are you going to commit to it?
609
00:30:26,308 --> 00:30:28,307
You are?
610
00:30:31,111 --> 00:30:32,176
Sorry.
611
00:30:33,913 --> 00:30:37,047
Don't think of it
as naked, Cora.
612
00:30:37,049 --> 00:30:39,215
It's not naked.
It's nude.
613
00:30:39,217 --> 00:30:40,416
[ Sighs ]
614
00:30:40,418 --> 00:30:45,153
Annie, I am 55 years old.
615
00:30:46,122 --> 00:30:48,755
So, if I'm not gonna
get 'em out now, when am I?
616
00:30:48,890 --> 00:30:50,322
[ Organ plays sustained note ]
617
00:30:50,324 --> 00:30:51,423
Book!
618
00:30:51,425 --> 00:30:54,192
[ "The wedding march" plays ]
619
00:30:54,194 --> 00:30:56,427
It's the whole
showing-your-breasts issue
620
00:30:56,429 --> 00:30:58,061
that concerns me.
621
00:30:58,063 --> 00:30:59,929
Well, I-I think
the whole point is that...
622
00:30:59,931 --> 00:31:01,397
is that we don't properly.
623
00:31:01,399 --> 00:31:03,465
I know.
That's what concerns me.
624
00:31:06,503 --> 00:31:08,035
Yours are good, are they?
625
00:31:08,037 --> 00:31:09,302
They're tremendous.
626
00:31:11,039 --> 00:31:13,372
Jessie, we're getting
to the point now
627
00:31:13,374 --> 00:31:15,340
where we really need to commit.
628
00:31:15,342 --> 00:31:16,507
Now, I know it's...
629
00:31:16,509 --> 00:31:18,041
no front bottoms.
630
00:31:18,043 --> 00:31:19,509
What?
631
00:31:19,511 --> 00:31:23,112
I mean, just as long
as it's no front bottoms.
632
00:31:23,114 --> 00:31:26,148
That's a sight I've reserved
for just one man in my life.
633
00:31:26,150 --> 00:31:28,183
Right. Well, do you think
your husband will mind?
634
00:31:28,185 --> 00:31:29,951
It wasn't my husband.
635
00:31:29,953 --> 00:31:31,953
Of course you've got a body
worth looking at.
636
00:31:31,955 --> 00:31:33,287
Just look at that parking!
637
00:31:33,289 --> 00:31:34,922
Ruth...
638
00:31:35,057 --> 00:31:37,123
Doesn't it annoy you
when people take two spaces?
639
00:31:37,125 --> 00:31:38,624
Look, look...
640
00:31:38,626 --> 00:31:41,259
None of us have got
a body worth looking at.
641
00:31:41,394 --> 00:31:43,127
No, well, that's not...
642
00:31:45,664 --> 00:31:48,064
We're not all Chrises
in this life.
643
00:31:48,066 --> 00:31:50,232
Some of us are Ruths.
644
00:31:50,234 --> 00:31:51,533
I'm sorry.
645
00:31:51,535 --> 00:31:53,635
[ Sighs ]
646
00:31:53,637 --> 00:31:55,670
Ruth. Ruth...
647
00:32:15,458 --> 00:32:18,058
Right. I-I did a bit of thinking
about this calendar.
648
00:32:18,060 --> 00:32:19,225
Um...
649
00:32:20,995 --> 00:32:22,961
Okay, I think there's a trick
we could play here.
650
00:32:22,963 --> 00:32:25,496
Um... At first glance,
651
00:32:25,498 --> 00:32:28,932
it should look like, uh,
y-your classic w.I. Calendar...
652
00:32:28,934 --> 00:32:32,335
uh, you know, a-all your...
y-your jams, cakes, sewing,
653
00:32:32,337 --> 00:32:34,003
and all that...
654
00:32:34,005 --> 00:32:36,138
you know,
everything you'd expect...
655
00:32:36,140 --> 00:32:39,975
except for one tiny thing.
656
00:32:39,977 --> 00:32:43,144
The person doing it is...
is, uh...
657
00:32:43,146 --> 00:32:44,311
Naked.
658
00:32:53,554 --> 00:32:57,155
It's... That...
it's perfect, Lawrence.
659
00:32:57,157 --> 00:32:59,090
Really, it's perfect.
It's wonderful!
660
00:32:59,092 --> 00:33:02,126
[ Women chuckling ]
A-a different girl
for every month,
661
00:33:02,128 --> 00:33:04,495
in a different guise...
662
00:33:04,497 --> 00:33:07,164
painting, um, press...
663
00:33:07,166 --> 00:33:08,766
[ Laughter ]
664
00:33:08,767 --> 00:33:10,367
Until December, when I thought
we could do, like,
665
00:33:10,369 --> 00:33:12,068
a group photo of you
all together, um, you know,
666
00:33:12,070 --> 00:33:13,302
singing a Christmas Carol.
667
00:33:13,304 --> 00:33:14,970
Oh! That's a great idea!
668
00:33:14,972 --> 00:33:16,037
[ Laughing ] Great!
669
00:33:16,039 --> 00:33:17,371
I like father Christmas.
670
00:33:17,373 --> 00:33:19,005
Yes!
Fantastic.
671
00:33:19,007 --> 00:33:20,439
There's just one small problem.
672
00:33:20,441 --> 00:33:21,506
What?
673
00:33:21,508 --> 00:33:23,608
The photographer's a man.
674
00:33:23,610 --> 00:33:26,277
Yeah, but the point is,
we won't actually be
showing anything.
675
00:33:26,279 --> 00:33:28,212
In the photos.
676
00:33:28,214 --> 00:33:30,013
I imagine a considerable amount
677
00:33:30,015 --> 00:33:31,614
will be on display in the room.
678
00:33:31,616 --> 00:33:33,582
That's a point.
679
00:33:33,584 --> 00:33:36,084
He'll have to be in the room
to take the photo.
680
00:33:36,086 --> 00:33:37,685
With us naked!
681
00:33:38,020 --> 00:33:39,552
Yeah. Or nude.
682
00:33:39,554 --> 00:33:41,053
No, listen...
683
00:33:41,055 --> 00:33:44,056
An art photographer doesn't see
a naked woman.
684
00:33:44,058 --> 00:33:45,524
He sees a life model.
685
00:33:45,526 --> 00:33:48,527
Yes. No, the nudity
isn't important.
686
00:33:48,529 --> 00:33:50,629
That's easy to say when
you've got your knickers on.
687
00:33:50,631 --> 00:33:53,632
No, but he'll be looking
at us as an artist.
688
00:33:53,767 --> 00:33:56,367
[ Chuckles ] I've heard
that one before.
Have you?
689
00:33:56,369 --> 00:33:58,535
Oh, look, he's not
that kind of bloke.
690
00:33:58,537 --> 00:34:00,069
I've heard that one before.
691
00:34:00,071 --> 00:34:01,603
Where is he?
692
00:34:02,739 --> 00:34:04,038
[ Sighs ] Oh...
693
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:07,240
Gone, needless to s...
694
00:34:09,010 --> 00:34:10,576
Lawrence?
695
00:34:12,146 --> 00:34:14,446
[ Inhales deeply ]
696
00:34:17,551 --> 00:34:20,785
I mean, have you any idea
how intimidating it is
697
00:34:20,787 --> 00:34:23,788
to come in here
in front of you lot?
698
00:34:25,024 --> 00:34:28,125
How much it's taken
that young man to do that?
699
00:34:28,127 --> 00:34:29,793
[ Women mumbling ]
700
00:34:31,029 --> 00:34:32,795
Of course we're not gonna
go around
701
00:34:32,797 --> 00:34:36,165
parading ourselves
in a room full of men!
702
00:34:36,167 --> 00:34:39,134
This isn't... France.
703
00:34:39,136 --> 00:34:41,302
For God's sake.
704
00:34:41,304 --> 00:34:44,071
Lawrence will set up
the photo...
705
00:34:44,073 --> 00:34:45,639
Leave the room,
706
00:34:45,641 --> 00:34:48,108
dressing gowns come off,
707
00:34:48,110 --> 00:34:51,644
and one of us will click
the shutter.
708
00:34:51,646 --> 00:34:52,745
Oh...
709
00:34:52,747 --> 00:34:54,613
Oh...
710
00:34:54,615 --> 00:34:56,381
Right.
711
00:34:56,383 --> 00:34:57,782
Lawrence?
712
00:35:02,588 --> 00:35:05,322
I think these girls got
something to say to you.
713
00:35:05,324 --> 00:35:06,823
Sorry.
714
00:35:06,825 --> 00:35:09,158
Sorry,
sorry. Sorry. Lawrence.
715
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:11,593
♪ I will not cease ♪
716
00:35:11,595 --> 00:35:14,128
♪ from mental fight ♪
717
00:35:14,130 --> 00:35:19,433
♪ nor shall my sword sleep
in my hand ♪
718
00:35:19,435 --> 00:35:25,605
♪ till we have built
Jerusalem ♪
719
00:35:25,607 --> 00:35:33,607
♪ in England’s
green and pleasant land ♪
720
00:35:34,182 --> 00:35:35,748
right.
721
00:35:35,750 --> 00:35:38,484
Has anyone
any activities planned
722
00:35:38,486 --> 00:35:41,553
we might want to seek
approval for
723
00:35:41,555 --> 00:35:44,155
at national conference?
724
00:35:44,157 --> 00:35:46,457
Oh, yes, always wise.
725
00:35:46,459 --> 00:35:48,392
We wouldn't want to do anything
without approval
726
00:35:48,394 --> 00:35:49,793
from national committee...
727
00:35:49,795 --> 00:35:52,328
not with Knapely being
such a proud w.I.
728
00:35:52,330 --> 00:35:54,363
With an unblemished reputation.
729
00:35:55,399 --> 00:35:58,366
Where it would take
only one small act
730
00:35:58,368 --> 00:36:02,603
by a few rogue individuals
to ruin a reputation
731
00:36:02,605 --> 00:36:04,438
that we've spent
all these years...
732
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:05,772
all right, all right.
733
00:36:05,774 --> 00:36:07,740
All right.
734
00:36:07,742 --> 00:36:12,310
Look, we're planning
a calendar for John, everyone.
735
00:36:12,312 --> 00:36:13,611
Yeah. It's...
736
00:36:13,613 --> 00:36:16,814
it's, um, to raise money
f-for, uh...
737
00:36:16,816 --> 00:36:19,583
Well, to buy something
for the relatives room
738
00:36:19,585 --> 00:36:22,586
in, uh, in Knapely general.
739
00:36:22,588 --> 00:36:23,588
Oh.
Oh. O.
740
00:36:23,722 --> 00:36:25,121
[ Murmuring ]
741
00:36:25,123 --> 00:36:26,123
And?
742
00:36:27,124 --> 00:36:29,491
And... With us on it.
743
00:36:29,493 --> 00:36:31,259
One for each month.
744
00:36:31,261 --> 00:36:32,260
What did she say?
745
00:36:32,262 --> 00:36:33,894
And?
746
00:36:35,330 --> 00:36:36,529
Well...
747
00:36:38,766 --> 00:36:41,366
Uh, that...
that's about it, really.
748
00:36:41,368 --> 00:36:42,533
Naked!
749
00:36:42,535 --> 00:36:43,634
Naked?
750
00:36:43,636 --> 00:36:46,136
Not naked... nude.
751
00:36:46,138 --> 00:36:47,604
What's the difference?
752
00:36:47,606 --> 00:36:49,138
Art.
753
00:36:49,140 --> 00:36:51,540
And seeing
Marie's raised the issue,
754
00:36:51,542 --> 00:36:53,475
we're a good few months short.
755
00:36:53,477 --> 00:36:54,709
[ Laughter ]
756
00:36:54,844 --> 00:36:57,177
Is that not because
all this has the air
757
00:36:57,179 --> 00:36:59,879
of another one
of Chris' great ideas...
758
00:36:59,881 --> 00:37:01,881
like the vodka-tasting night?
759
00:37:01,883 --> 00:37:03,215
[ Laughter ]
760
00:37:03,217 --> 00:37:05,150
No, no, because
I'm going to make sure
761
00:37:05,152 --> 00:37:06,818
this one turns out okay, Marie.
762
00:37:06,820 --> 00:37:09,353
Because it's for John.
763
00:37:09,355 --> 00:37:10,787
It was inspired by John
764
00:37:10,789 --> 00:37:14,157
and it's for John
and it's because of John.
765
00:37:14,159 --> 00:37:16,792
And... and no matter
what you might think
of the idea, Marie,
766
00:37:16,794 --> 00:37:19,194
you're looking at January.
767
00:37:19,196 --> 00:37:20,929
[ Women gasp, chuckle ]
768
00:37:22,432 --> 00:37:23,564
February.
769
00:37:23,566 --> 00:37:24,898
[ Women gasping ]
770
00:37:24,900 --> 00:37:26,633
March.
771
00:37:30,871 --> 00:37:31,803
April! April!
772
00:37:31,805 --> 00:37:33,638
[ Women giggling ]
773
00:37:38,644 --> 00:37:40,443
[ Indistinct talking,
laughing ]
774
00:37:40,445 --> 00:37:42,311
Yeah.
...Do it.
775
00:37:42,313 --> 00:37:44,346
Jessie: Chris,
do we have to, you know,
776
00:37:44,348 --> 00:37:45,814
make any special preparations?
777
00:37:45,816 --> 00:37:47,315
Oh, no, no.
778
00:37:47,317 --> 00:37:49,650
These pictures are going to be
us, girls, as we come.
779
00:37:49,652 --> 00:37:50,651
Oh, God.
780
00:37:50,653 --> 00:37:52,486
Gray hair, cellulite, the lot.
781
00:37:52,488 --> 00:37:53,753
Oh. Oh, no.
782
00:37:53,755 --> 00:37:55,488
Remember, "the last phase...
783
00:37:55,623 --> 00:37:58,223
All:
...ls the most glorious!"
784
00:37:58,225 --> 00:37:59,225
[ Laughter ]
785
00:38:00,493 --> 00:38:02,892
Do you have any pictures
of Rene Russo?
786
00:38:05,830 --> 00:38:07,229
[ Electrical buzzing ]
787
00:38:13,403 --> 00:38:15,202
[ Breathing heavily ]
788
00:38:18,207 --> 00:38:20,240
[ Moans ]
789
00:38:20,242 --> 00:38:22,242
That's very good.
[ Exhales deeply ]
Okay.
790
00:38:30,952 --> 00:38:32,718
[ Sighs ]
791
00:38:34,321 --> 00:38:35,887
[ Crunches ]
792
00:38:38,925 --> 00:38:41,425
A week?
793
00:38:41,427 --> 00:38:43,860
I know.
But he's a client.
794
00:38:43,862 --> 00:38:47,496
He does, um, you know
this new chain of hotels...
795
00:38:47,498 --> 00:38:49,364
northern... Summat.
796
00:38:49,366 --> 00:38:50,698
Shall I come?
797
00:38:51,967 --> 00:38:53,232
[ Sighs ]
798
00:38:53,234 --> 00:38:54,233
What?
799
00:38:54,235 --> 00:38:55,968
Oh, save your sanity, love.
800
00:38:55,970 --> 00:38:57,302
You know, it's carpet.
801
00:38:57,304 --> 00:38:58,736
If I raced dragsters,
802
00:38:58,738 --> 00:38:59,937
there might be something
worth watching.
803
00:38:59,939 --> 00:39:01,571
[ Laughs ]
804
00:39:02,607 --> 00:39:04,473
Yeah, I wanted to play
next Wednesday,
805
00:39:04,475 --> 00:39:06,842
but I've got a bloody
corp meeting in Halifax.
806
00:39:06,844 --> 00:39:08,376
[ Men talking indistinctly ]
807
00:39:08,378 --> 00:39:11,445
Um...
Oh, darling, come on.
808
00:39:11,447 --> 00:39:12,679
Your ball's over there.
809
00:39:12,915 --> 00:39:13,915
I'm coming, Frank.
810
00:39:16,985 --> 00:39:18,451
[ Cellphone rings ]
811
00:39:20,888 --> 00:39:22,721
[ Beep ]
812
00:39:22,723 --> 00:39:25,590
T-minus two hours.
Bras off to avoid strap marks.
813
00:39:25,592 --> 00:39:28,492
As we speak, darling.
As we speak.
814
00:39:28,494 --> 00:39:30,494
Darling! Come on.
815
00:39:30,629 --> 00:39:31,894
Good girl.
816
00:39:37,034 --> 00:39:38,900
[ Birds chirping ]
817
00:40:03,692 --> 00:40:05,692
So, we're going to go?
818
00:40:05,694 --> 00:40:07,994
We're going to go.
That's the decision
819
00:40:07,996 --> 00:40:09,929
that's the decision?
820
00:40:09,931 --> 00:40:12,431
We're going to go and tell them
we're not going to do it.
821
00:40:12,433 --> 00:40:13,698
Okay.
822
00:40:20,973 --> 00:40:22,172
[ Bottles clinking ]
823
00:40:24,876 --> 00:40:26,041
[ Whistles ]
824
00:40:27,978 --> 00:40:29,077
[ Women giggling ]
825
00:40:35,918 --> 00:40:37,784
[ Indistinct talking ]
826
00:40:39,821 --> 00:40:41,821
You have to realize,
I've never appeared nude
827
00:40:41,823 --> 00:40:44,490
in front of anyone in my life.
828
00:40:44,492 --> 00:40:45,858
Not even Frank?
829
00:40:45,860 --> 00:40:47,977
Frank's a major.
830
00:40:47,978 --> 00:40:50,095
We approach nudity on
a strictly need-to-know basis.
831
00:40:50,097 --> 00:40:53,731
[ Indistinct talking ]
None of us have been here
before, love.
832
00:40:53,733 --> 00:40:55,466
I mean, for God's sake,
833
00:40:55,468 --> 00:40:59,069
my John didn't see me naked
until the spring of 1975.
834
00:40:59,071 --> 00:41:01,671
What happened
in the spring of '75?
835
00:41:01,806 --> 00:41:03,772
There was a lizard
in the shower block at Abergale.
836
00:41:03,774 --> 00:41:05,440
[ Laughter ]
837
00:41:06,609 --> 00:41:10,043
Quite a few people
saw me naked that morning.
838
00:41:10,045 --> 00:41:12,011
[ Laughter ] [ Clock chiming ]
839
00:41:18,052 --> 00:41:22,054
[ Yawns ]
840
00:41:22,056 --> 00:41:23,889
[ Cards shuffling ]
841
00:41:51,751 --> 00:41:52,783
Oh.
842
00:41:59,758 --> 00:42:01,257
Oh, that's not fair.
843
00:42:01,259 --> 00:42:03,192
Oh! Oh!
Oh! Oh!
844
00:42:03,194 --> 00:42:04,526
That's it.
845
00:42:05,095 --> 00:42:06,227
Right.
846
00:42:07,730 --> 00:42:09,229
Shit or bust.
847
00:42:09,231 --> 00:42:11,030
Shit or bust.
[ Laughter ]
848
00:42:11,032 --> 00:42:12,965
All right, Lawrence.
849
00:42:12,967 --> 00:42:13,967
Ready when you are.
850
00:42:14,034 --> 00:42:15,666
She's the first.
You're up.
851
00:42:17,102 --> 00:42:19,035
[ Clock chimes ]
852
00:42:24,875 --> 00:42:26,941
They'll never
go through with it.
853
00:42:29,278 --> 00:42:31,111
I'll put it here because
it's a tool of the trade.
854
00:42:31,113 --> 00:42:33,813
Ladies, just bring
the lamp up a bit.
855
00:42:33,815 --> 00:42:34,914
Raise the lamp for me.
856
00:42:34,916 --> 00:42:36,916
No, don't touch that.
Don't.
857
00:42:36,918 --> 00:42:38,951
Okay?
858
00:42:38,953 --> 00:42:40,052
Right.
859
00:42:40,054 --> 00:42:41,953
Annie, Chris?
Hmm?
860
00:42:41,955 --> 00:42:44,121
Can you just
clear frame for me?
Okay, yeah.
861
00:42:47,893 --> 00:42:49,626
Okay, Celia...
Mm-hmm?
862
00:42:49,761 --> 00:42:51,160
Just lean in toward camera
a little bit.
863
00:42:51,162 --> 00:42:52,561
Right.
864
00:42:52,696 --> 00:42:53,528
Enough?
865
00:42:53,530 --> 00:42:55,596
Perfect.
866
00:42:59,034 --> 00:43:00,800
[ Sighs ]
867
00:43:00,802 --> 00:43:02,034
[ Click ]
868
00:43:04,238 --> 00:43:06,805
Okay. Ready.
869
00:43:08,308 --> 00:43:09,707
Um...
870
00:43:12,078 --> 00:43:13,143
Okay.
871
00:43:17,615 --> 00:43:18,981
Lawrence...
872
00:43:18,983 --> 00:43:22,117
We're going to need
considerably bigger buns.
873
00:43:22,119 --> 00:43:23,985
[ Laughter ]
874
00:43:34,864 --> 00:43:36,697
Jessie:
Weren't the buns flat?
875
00:43:39,034 --> 00:43:41,601
No, don't mess with the buns.
876
00:43:41,603 --> 00:43:44,003
I like them like this.
They cover more.
877
00:43:44,005 --> 00:43:46,972
No, don't...
don't touch the composition.
878
00:43:46,974 --> 00:43:48,006
No, but, Lawrence,
879
00:43:48,008 --> 00:43:49,707
were the top buns flat?
880
00:43:49,709 --> 00:43:51,075
[ Stammers ] Flat.
881
00:43:51,077 --> 00:43:54,310
Yeah, but flat for us
or flat for her?
882
00:43:56,714 --> 00:43:57,846
[ Women gasping ]
883
00:43:59,115 --> 00:44:02,182
Don't touch the buns.
884
00:44:04,319 --> 00:44:05,651
Please.
885
00:44:06,286 --> 00:44:07,885
Sorry.
886
00:44:10,923 --> 00:44:13,023
Bad girl.
887
00:44:14,126 --> 00:44:15,258
Bun toucher.
888
00:44:15,260 --> 00:44:17,059
[ Stifled laughter ]
889
00:44:17,194 --> 00:44:19,160
She's got to look relaxed.
890
00:44:19,162 --> 00:44:21,362
I am bloody relaxed.
891
00:44:21,697 --> 00:44:22,962
And she's got to smile.
892
00:44:22,964 --> 00:44:24,229
I am smiling.
893
00:44:24,231 --> 00:44:26,231
Not... not too much. Um...
894
00:44:26,233 --> 00:44:29,901
I want it... Enigmatic.
895
00:44:29,903 --> 00:44:31,969
She looks like she's seen
somebody she knows
896
00:44:31,971 --> 00:44:32,971
in the distance.
897
00:44:36,008 --> 00:44:39,009
Left side up a little.
898
00:44:39,011 --> 00:44:41,678
Your right side
down a little...
899
00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:44,047
And the middle section
sort of...
900
00:44:44,049 --> 00:44:46,782
Oh, for God's sake,
get bloody Botticelli in here.
901
00:44:48,619 --> 00:44:49,651
Lawrence...
902
00:44:49,653 --> 00:44:50,718
Hiya.
903
00:44:50,853 --> 00:44:53,320
Get in here.
[ Sighs ]
904
00:44:59,227 --> 00:45:02,027
Chin down to your left.
905
00:45:04,197 --> 00:45:05,895
You look beautiful, Celia.
906
00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:10,866
[ Shutter clicks ]
907
00:45:12,669 --> 00:45:14,368
Okay...
908
00:45:14,370 --> 00:45:15,869
We're away.
909
00:45:16,004 --> 00:45:17,870
[ B.B. King's
"you upset me baby" plays ]
910
00:45:23,911 --> 00:45:26,778
I used to be in a band
in the '70s.
911
00:45:26,780 --> 00:45:27,779
One day...
912
00:45:27,781 --> 00:45:28,979
[ Shutter clicks ]
913
00:45:32,684 --> 00:45:34,050
Thank you.
914
00:45:35,186 --> 00:45:36,985
Yeah.
915
00:45:36,987 --> 00:45:38,319
That's, uh...
916
00:45:45,895 --> 00:45:49,029
♪ Yeah, she's 36 in the bust ♪
917
00:45:49,031 --> 00:45:50,964
♪ 28 in the waist ♪
918
00:45:50,966 --> 00:45:52,198
♪ 44 in the hips ♪
919
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:55,301
♪ she got a real crazy legs ♪
920
00:45:55,303 --> 00:45:58,337
♪ you upsets me, baby ♪
921
00:45:58,339 --> 00:46:01,206
♪ yes, you upsets me, baby ♪
922
00:46:02,876 --> 00:46:07,044
come on, Sugden, it's your
own time you're wasting.
923
00:46:07,046 --> 00:46:08,378
I was his junior school
teacher.
924
00:46:10,882 --> 00:46:13,015
Oh, Jessie!
925
00:46:13,017 --> 00:46:15,717
What did we say
about relaxing him?
926
00:46:15,719 --> 00:46:17,952
What did she say
about relaxing him?!
927
00:46:17,954 --> 00:46:20,054
[ Women giggling ]
928
00:46:20,056 --> 00:46:21,288
Pfft!
929
00:46:21,290 --> 00:46:23,740
♪ You upsets me, baby ♪
[ Shutter clicks ]
930
00:46:23,741 --> 00:46:26,191
♪ Yes, you upsets me, baby ♪
931
00:46:27,295 --> 00:46:30,829
♪ like being hit
by a falling tree, woman ♪
932
00:46:30,831 --> 00:46:33,064
♪ woman, what you do to me ♪
933
00:46:35,435 --> 00:46:38,202
♪ well, I've tried
to describe her ♪
934
00:46:38,204 --> 00:46:40,003
♪ it's hard to start ♪
935
00:46:40,138 --> 00:46:44,005
♪ I better stop now
because I got a weak heart ♪
936
00:46:45,108 --> 00:46:46,407
♪ you upsets me ♪
937
00:46:46,409 --> 00:46:47,975
cup of tea, girls?
938
00:46:48,110 --> 00:46:50,844
♪ Well, you upsets me, baby ♪
[ Giggling ]
939
00:46:50,846 --> 00:46:52,863
[ Cat yowls ]
940
00:46:52,864 --> 00:46:54,881
♪ Well, it's like being hit
by a falling tree ♪
941
00:46:54,883 --> 00:46:57,450
♪ woman, what you do to me ♪
942
00:46:57,452 --> 00:46:59,919
[ piano plays off-key ]
943
00:46:59,921 --> 00:47:02,121
There's no e-flat
in "Jerusalem."
944
00:47:02,123 --> 00:47:04,483
I'll be a bit disappointed if
they're looking at me fingers.
945
00:47:07,993 --> 00:47:09,092
[ Grunts ]
946
00:47:13,865 --> 00:47:15,130
[ Shutter clicks ]
947
00:47:23,439 --> 00:47:24,771
[ Shutter clicking ]
948
00:47:39,387 --> 00:47:40,853
[ Sighs ]
949
00:47:40,855 --> 00:47:41,620
Oh.
950
00:47:41,622 --> 00:47:43,188
All right.
951
00:47:47,127 --> 00:47:49,060
Are you doing this one?
952
00:47:51,397 --> 00:47:53,029
What's your name?
953
00:47:53,031 --> 00:47:54,230
Ruth.
954
00:47:54,232 --> 00:47:56,131
Ruth.
955
00:47:56,133 --> 00:47:57,899
I'm Lawrence.
Photographer.
956
00:48:02,238 --> 00:48:03,203
One minute.
957
00:48:03,205 --> 00:48:04,404
♪ Yeah ♪
958
00:48:12,546 --> 00:48:15,079
Lawrence.
Lawrence, who's next?
959
00:48:15,081 --> 00:48:16,080
Ruth.
960
00:48:16,082 --> 00:48:17,614
Ruth?
Ruth?
961
00:48:17,616 --> 00:48:19,015
Ruth?
962
00:48:19,017 --> 00:48:20,916
No.
No, wait, Lawrence.
963
00:48:20,918 --> 00:48:22,250
[ Indistinct talking ]
964
00:48:36,499 --> 00:48:39,166
Right. Let's do it.
965
00:48:44,106 --> 00:48:46,005
[ Shutter clicks ]
966
00:48:51,545 --> 00:48:54,646
♪ Well, I've tried
to describe her ♪
967
00:48:54,981 --> 00:48:56,080
♪ it's hard to start ♪
968
00:48:56,082 --> 00:48:58,348
uh, could I have, um...
969
00:48:58,350 --> 00:49:00,683
Well, you know, some privacy?
970
00:49:00,685 --> 00:49:02,284
No. No.
No.
971
00:49:02,286 --> 00:49:04,452
Off...
972
00:49:04,454 --> 00:49:07,354
All: Off! Off!
973
00:49:07,356 --> 00:49:10,156
Off! Off! Off!
974
00:49:10,158 --> 00:49:12,424
Off! [ Laughter ]
975
00:49:12,426 --> 00:49:14,058
♪ Woman, what you do to me ♪
976
00:49:14,060 --> 00:49:15,059
[ applause ]
977
00:49:15,061 --> 00:49:16,061
[ Shutter clicks ]
978
00:49:18,597 --> 00:49:21,130
♪ We wish you
a merry Christmas ♪
979
00:49:21,132 --> 00:49:23,999
♪ and a happy new year ♪
980
00:49:24,001 --> 00:49:26,101
[ laughter ]
981
00:49:27,604 --> 00:49:28,970
[ Indistinct talking ]
982
00:49:37,046 --> 00:49:38,078
No, no, no, no...
983
00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:41,014
I'll take you up on that.
984
00:49:42,150 --> 00:49:43,048
[ Gasps ]
985
00:49:43,050 --> 00:49:45,683
Congratulations.
986
00:49:45,685 --> 00:49:47,551
It's a calendar.
987
00:49:57,061 --> 00:49:59,061
Yes, yes, black and white
with just one color.
988
00:49:59,063 --> 00:50:00,228
Oh, um...
989
00:50:00,230 --> 00:50:04,031
I don't know.
Uh, 300...
990
00:50:04,033 --> 00:50:05,999
Fo... 400.
991
00:50:06,001 --> 00:50:08,735
No, fi... 500 copies.
992
00:50:08,737 --> 00:50:11,104
Uh, so how much would that be?
993
00:50:16,143 --> 00:50:19,043
Thank you.
Get back to you.
994
00:50:19,045 --> 00:50:20,177
It's never that much.
995
00:50:20,179 --> 00:50:21,978
Well, it bloody is.
996
00:50:23,147 --> 00:50:25,313
We're looking for...
for sponsorship,
997
00:50:25,315 --> 00:50:28,316
and my husband always used
your products, you see.
998
00:50:28,318 --> 00:50:30,217
He worked for
the national parks.
999
00:50:31,420 --> 00:50:32,652
John Clarke?
1000
00:50:32,654 --> 00:50:34,186
Yes. Yes.
That's right.
1001
00:50:34,321 --> 00:50:36,120
He... he died
of leukemia.
1002
00:50:36,122 --> 00:50:39,123
Aye, I know.
I am sorry.
1003
00:50:39,125 --> 00:50:40,574
Thank you.
1004
00:50:40,575 --> 00:50:42,095
Well, what do you need
sponsorship for?
1005
00:50:43,194 --> 00:50:45,127
Okay, um...
1006
00:50:51,268 --> 00:50:53,134
Right, we're getting there.
1007
00:50:53,136 --> 00:50:55,002
But the sunflower
needs to leap outward at you.
1008
00:50:55,004 --> 00:50:57,104
More yellow.
1009
00:50:57,106 --> 00:50:59,773
[ Indistinct talking ]
Quiet! Look, look,
you can't all be July.
1010
00:50:59,775 --> 00:51:02,108
It's my birthday in July.
1011
00:51:02,110 --> 00:51:03,676
My divorce came
through in march.
1012
00:51:03,678 --> 00:51:05,177
I'd like to be September.
1013
00:51:07,548 --> 00:51:09,414
[ Knock on door ]
1014
00:51:17,690 --> 00:51:18,588
Hi.
1015
00:51:18,590 --> 00:51:20,140
I'm not disturbing you, am I?
1016
00:51:20,141 --> 00:51:21,691
I was just passing.
1017
00:51:21,693 --> 00:51:24,360
Oh, I bought, um...
1018
00:51:24,362 --> 00:51:26,295
They're nothing much.
1019
00:51:26,297 --> 00:51:28,764
Oh, Marie, they're lovely.
Come on in.
1020
00:51:35,805 --> 00:51:39,139
I never felt
I really knew John.
1021
00:51:39,774 --> 00:51:41,807
He worked for the national park,
didn't he?
1022
00:51:41,809 --> 00:51:43,608
Mmh.
1023
00:51:45,044 --> 00:51:47,044
I just wanted to say, Annie,
if there's anything...
1024
00:51:47,046 --> 00:51:48,378
these are beautiful.
1025
00:51:48,380 --> 00:51:50,480
What are they?
Are they, gerberas?
1026
00:51:50,482 --> 00:51:51,581
Gorgeous.
1027
00:51:53,384 --> 00:51:56,151
You should get away for a bit,
have a holiday, you know...
1028
00:51:56,153 --> 00:51:58,052
get out of Knapely.
1029
00:51:58,054 --> 00:52:00,254
[ Chuckles ] Are you trying
to get rid of me?
1030
00:52:00,256 --> 00:52:02,389
[ Laughs ] No, no.
I-I just...
1031
00:52:03,825 --> 00:52:06,425
I feel I have to say
something, Annie, but...
1032
00:52:06,427 --> 00:52:08,059
more tea?
1033
00:52:08,061 --> 00:52:09,360
Uh, no, no. Um...
1034
00:52:11,831 --> 00:52:15,332
I do know how difficult
things must be for you
at the moment...
1035
00:52:15,334 --> 00:52:16,733
how you must be feeling.
1036
00:52:17,702 --> 00:52:19,735
Do you?
1037
00:52:19,737 --> 00:52:21,837
Oh, dear.
1038
00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:26,140
Do you think John would have
approved of this, Annie?
1039
00:52:26,142 --> 00:52:27,774
Really?
1040
00:52:27,776 --> 00:52:30,243
You didn't know John, you say.
1041
00:52:30,245 --> 00:52:34,113
No, but... I know that he was
a good man, a decent man.
1042
00:52:35,116 --> 00:52:39,384
If your concern is for the
reputation of Knapely w. I...
1043
00:52:39,386 --> 00:52:41,319
No, that's not
what I'm saying...
well, I think it is,
1044
00:52:41,321 --> 00:52:42,687
no, I...
Marie.
1045
00:52:42,689 --> 00:52:46,157
The w.I. Is about
doing good,
1046
00:52:46,159 --> 00:52:50,161
and I think we have
to ask ourselves what
does more good...
1047
00:52:50,163 --> 00:52:52,463
knowing slightly more
about broccoli one week
1048
00:52:52,465 --> 00:52:53,864
than we did the last
1049
00:52:53,866 --> 00:52:57,534
or providing
some comfort for someone
1050
00:52:57,536 --> 00:52:59,202
in the worst hours
of their life,
1051
00:52:59,204 --> 00:53:01,103
because that's what
it's like, sweetheart.
1052
00:53:01,105 --> 00:53:04,239
And, no, I don't think
you do know how I feel.
1053
00:53:04,241 --> 00:53:05,406
[ Sniffles ]
1054
00:53:07,309 --> 00:53:08,541
Chris: Annie!
1055
00:53:09,844 --> 00:53:11,810
Result!
1056
00:53:11,812 --> 00:53:13,312
Oh.
1057
00:53:13,313 --> 00:53:14,813
Oh, hello, Marie.
Sorry.
1058
00:53:14,815 --> 00:53:16,648
Were... were you...
1059
00:53:16,650 --> 00:53:18,783
Um...
Uh... I don't know.
1060
00:53:18,785 --> 00:53:20,851
Marie, had you finished?
Uh...
1061
00:53:20,853 --> 00:53:22,786
You ought to put
a penny in with those.
1062
00:53:23,121 --> 00:53:24,386
They'll last longer.
1063
00:53:25,322 --> 00:53:26,521
Chris.
1064
00:53:27,790 --> 00:53:29,356
What was that about?
1065
00:53:29,358 --> 00:53:31,391
Don't ask.
What's the result?
1066
00:53:31,493 --> 00:53:33,226
I've got us a sponsor.
1067
00:53:33,228 --> 00:53:34,594
What?!
1068
00:53:34,729 --> 00:53:37,463
Pbbt! To those boring old farts
at Carmichael seed.
1069
00:53:37,598 --> 00:53:40,231
Say hello to the lovely people
at Jennings.
1070
00:53:40,233 --> 00:53:41,532
The beer?
1071
00:53:41,534 --> 00:53:43,333
All our printing costs
and a press launch.
1072
00:53:43,335 --> 00:53:45,501
But the beer people?
And then all we have to do
1073
00:53:45,503 --> 00:53:47,769
is put their little logo thing
at the bottom of each page.
1074
00:53:47,771 --> 00:53:49,337
No, but...[ Sighs ]
1075
00:53:49,339 --> 00:53:50,805
The seed company made sense
1076
00:53:50,807 --> 00:53:53,140
because, you know,
John loved flowers.
1077
00:53:53,275 --> 00:53:54,874
But he never drank beer, Chris.
1078
00:53:54,876 --> 00:53:56,575
You know that.
1079
00:53:56,577 --> 00:53:58,677
It's not about the beer, Annie.
It's about the money.
1080
00:53:58,679 --> 00:53:59,844
[ Cellphone rings ] Oh!
1081
00:54:09,788 --> 00:54:11,387
[ Gasps ]
1082
00:54:11,389 --> 00:54:14,590
Lawrence: There it is.
Well, have a look.
1083
00:54:14,592 --> 00:54:16,458
Annie: Oh, it's beautiful.
1084
00:54:23,933 --> 00:54:25,699
Hello, is this
"the Skipton news"?
1085
00:54:25,701 --> 00:54:27,050
I think it would be
for half a day.
1086
00:54:27,051 --> 00:54:28,400
Could I speak to
your publicity person, please?
1087
00:54:28,403 --> 00:54:29,902
I don't think
we'd need it for...
1088
00:54:29,904 --> 00:54:31,503
Well, it's just I want
to make an announcement.
1089
00:54:31,505 --> 00:54:33,771
Sorry, madam chairman,
can I just, uh... sorry.
1090
00:54:33,773 --> 00:54:35,672
Sorry...
madam chairman, I'm sorry.
1091
00:54:35,674 --> 00:54:37,540
Sorry. Uh...
1092
00:54:37,542 --> 00:54:38,541
It's Knapely.
1093
00:54:38,543 --> 00:54:39,708
Sorry?
1094
00:54:39,710 --> 00:54:41,476
In Yorkshire.
Oh, charming.
1095
00:54:41,478 --> 00:54:43,177
[ Stammers ] Listen...
1096
00:54:43,179 --> 00:54:45,812
I'm sorry to bother
you in the middle
of conference but...
1097
00:54:45,947 --> 00:54:47,881
There's an issue
come up at my w.I.
1098
00:54:47,883 --> 00:54:50,416
Which I feel duty-bound
to inform you of.
1099
00:54:50,418 --> 00:54:52,985
Well, you'll have to
be brief. This way.
1100
00:54:54,288 --> 00:54:57,022
[ Birds chirping ]
1101
00:54:57,024 --> 00:54:58,857
Bastard!
1102
00:54:58,859 --> 00:55:00,992
She wouldn't have done it
deliberately.
1103
00:55:00,994 --> 00:55:03,527
I mean, the absolute...
and I hate to use the word...
1104
00:55:03,662 --> 00:55:05,028
the...
well, don't, then.
No.
1105
00:55:05,030 --> 00:55:06,829
It might have just slipped out.
1106
00:55:06,831 --> 00:55:08,430
Oh, yes, to Brenda Mooney,
1107
00:55:08,432 --> 00:55:09,931
who happens to be
madam chairman
1108
00:55:09,933 --> 00:55:12,366
of the national
w.I. Federation.
1109
00:55:12,368 --> 00:55:14,067
Well,
we could just...
1110
00:55:14,069 --> 00:55:16,869
I mean, Marie has deliberately
poured poison down there.
1111
00:55:17,004 --> 00:55:18,303
Well, we'll just...
1112
00:55:18,305 --> 00:55:19,904
what? Do what?
Do what, Ruth?
1113
00:55:19,906 --> 00:55:21,939
Just...
I mean, please tell me,
1114
00:55:21,941 --> 00:55:24,942
seeing as 500 calendars
are being printed as we speak.
1115
00:55:24,944 --> 00:55:28,011
Well, if we can't use the name
"women's institute"
1116
00:55:28,013 --> 00:55:29,746
we just don't use it.
1117
00:55:29,748 --> 00:55:31,748
If it's not
the women's institute,
1118
00:55:31,750 --> 00:55:33,950
it's just a load
of middle-aged women
1119
00:55:33,952 --> 00:55:36,652
mysteriously standing naked
behind fruitcakes.
1120
00:55:36,654 --> 00:55:38,887
[ Light laughter ]
1121
00:55:40,657 --> 00:55:43,090
Oh, my God. It would
look like pornography.
1122
00:55:43,425 --> 00:55:44,557
[ Laughter ]
1123
00:55:49,730 --> 00:55:51,930
But I don't know
what's on the order form.
1124
00:55:51,932 --> 00:55:53,932
Look, it's...
it's under the tin can
1125
00:55:53,934 --> 00:55:55,867
where the bent nail used to be.
1126
00:55:56,002 --> 00:55:57,968
You're just gonna
have to sort this one out
1127
00:55:57,970 --> 00:55:59,102
on your own, sweetheart.
1128
00:55:59,104 --> 00:56:00,937
Why?
1129
00:56:00,939 --> 00:56:02,571
Where the hell are you?
1130
00:56:02,573 --> 00:56:05,074
Tell you later.
1131
00:56:05,075 --> 00:56:07,576
I'll be back tonight
for the press conference. Bye.
1132
00:56:07,711 --> 00:56:10,111
[ Indistinct talking ]
1133
00:56:10,113 --> 00:56:12,346
Oh, good! Oh, uh...
1134
00:56:12,348 --> 00:56:14,548
Chris Harper and Annie Clarke
from Knapely
1135
00:56:14,550 --> 00:56:15,815
to see Brenda Mooney.
1136
00:56:15,817 --> 00:56:16,849
You're official delegates?
1137
00:56:16,851 --> 00:56:18,617
No.
Yes. From Knapely.
1138
00:56:18,619 --> 00:56:19,918
Yes. From Knapely.
1139
00:56:19,920 --> 00:56:21,886
And you're here
to do an open spot?
1140
00:56:22,021 --> 00:56:23,120
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Yes.
1141
00:56:23,122 --> 00:56:24,754
All right.
Follow me.
1142
00:56:24,756 --> 00:56:26,088
We're in.
1143
00:56:28,892 --> 00:56:30,992
What's an open spot?
Sounds painful.
1144
00:56:30,994 --> 00:56:32,593
I don't know.
1145
00:56:32,595 --> 00:56:34,695
You're very last-minute.
Have to go on straightaway.
1146
00:56:34,697 --> 00:56:36,863
On where?
Don't know.
1147
00:56:37,932 --> 00:56:39,698
Which w.I. Are you?
1148
00:56:39,700 --> 00:56:40,965
Knapely.
We're from Knapely.
1149
00:56:40,967 --> 00:56:42,399
An awful lot of them.
1150
00:56:42,401 --> 00:56:43,666
Oh.
1151
00:56:45,936 --> 00:56:48,836
Um... Brenda...
Mrs... sorry.
1152
00:56:48,838 --> 00:56:50,504
Madam chairperson...
1153
00:56:50,506 --> 00:56:51,771
Conference, please.
1154
00:56:51,773 --> 00:56:54,006
S-sorry?
I beg your pardon?
1155
00:56:54,008 --> 00:56:55,741
Address the whole
conference, please.
1156
00:56:55,743 --> 00:56:56,875
Oh, go...
1157
00:57:05,018 --> 00:57:07,852
well, uh...
1158
00:57:07,854 --> 00:57:09,987
Come on.
You can do it.
1159
00:57:09,989 --> 00:57:13,924
Mooney: The final open spot
of the morning
1160
00:57:13,926 --> 00:57:16,092
is the delegate from Knapely.
1161
00:57:16,094 --> 00:57:17,126
Knapely.
1162
00:57:17,128 --> 00:57:18,127
Knapely.
1163
00:57:18,129 --> 00:57:19,961
[ Gulps ]
1164
00:57:23,666 --> 00:57:24,831
I...
1165
00:57:26,935 --> 00:57:28,534
uh...[ Sighs ]
1166
00:57:28,536 --> 00:57:30,936
We wanted to come...
1167
00:57:30,938 --> 00:57:35,139
To ask approval from...
1168
00:57:36,976 --> 00:57:38,976
Well, from...
from you all...
1169
00:57:38,978 --> 00:57:40,110
um...
1170
00:57:40,112 --> 00:57:41,644
Ok... [ Chuckles softly ]
1171
00:57:41,646 --> 00:57:45,781
We... we want to do, uh,
a w.I. Calendar,
1172
00:57:45,783 --> 00:57:49,851
um, which raises
enough money to buy,
1173
00:57:49,853 --> 00:57:55,856
um... A-a chair
or a-a-a seat, um, a sofa,
1174
00:57:55,858 --> 00:57:58,592
or, um...
Well, anything, really...
1175
00:57:58,727 --> 00:57:59,792
[ Buzzer ]
1176
00:58:05,933 --> 00:58:07,866
Sorry.
1177
00:58:07,868 --> 00:58:09,067
Um...
1178
00:58:13,039 --> 00:58:14,138
Um...
1179
00:58:14,140 --> 00:58:19,009
Okay, so,
t-the thing is here is that
1180
00:58:19,011 --> 00:58:23,913
the hospital local to us
in Knapely is where my John...
1181
00:58:23,915 --> 00:58:26,582
[ Coughs ]
1182
00:58:26,584 --> 00:58:27,849
Where...
1183
00:58:31,955 --> 00:58:33,688
My husband...
1184
00:58:34,924 --> 00:58:35,956
[ Coughs ]
1185
00:58:39,795 --> 00:58:40,860
[ Buzzer ]
1186
00:58:40,862 --> 00:58:42,761
Thank you, Knapely.
1187
00:58:42,763 --> 00:58:44,763
Best of luck with the settee.
1188
00:58:44,765 --> 00:58:46,765
Now... no, no, no, no, no.
Just hold on.
1189
00:58:46,767 --> 00:58:48,633
J-just hold on a minute
with your red light.
1190
00:58:48,635 --> 00:58:50,968
Sorry, does the other member
from Knapely
1191
00:58:50,970 --> 00:58:52,469
want to say something?
1192
00:58:52,471 --> 00:58:54,604
Yes, because she's about
to commit heresy.
1193
00:58:54,739 --> 00:58:55,938
[ Thud ]
1194
00:58:55,940 --> 00:58:58,073
[ Feedback ] Hello?
1195
00:58:58,075 --> 00:58:59,074
Here we go.
1196
00:58:59,076 --> 00:59:00,076
[ Woman chuckles ]
1197
00:59:00,109 --> 00:59:01,141
Oh, God.
1198
00:59:01,143 --> 00:59:02,142
Look...
1199
00:59:02,144 --> 00:59:04,644
I hate plum jam.
1200
00:59:04,646 --> 00:59:07,013
[ Women chuckling ]
1201
00:59:08,483 --> 00:59:10,883
I only joined the w.I.
To make my mother happy.
1202
00:59:10,885 --> 00:59:12,885
I-I do...
I-I hate plum jam.
1203
00:59:12,887 --> 00:59:15,988
I'm crap at cakes.
I can't make sponge.
1204
00:59:15,990 --> 00:59:17,956
I-in fact,
seeing as it's unlikely
1205
00:59:17,958 --> 00:59:20,491
that George Clooney would
actually come to Skipton
1206
00:59:20,493 --> 00:59:22,693
to do a talk on what it was like
to be in "er,"
1207
00:59:22,695 --> 00:59:24,494
there seems very little reason
1208
00:59:24,496 --> 00:59:27,029
for me to actually stay
in the w.I...
1209
00:59:27,031 --> 00:59:29,765
except, suddenly...
1210
00:59:29,767 --> 00:59:34,102
suddenly I want to raise money
in memory of a man I loved,
1211
00:59:34,104 --> 00:59:36,104
and to do that, I'm prepared
to take me clothes off
1212
00:59:36,106 --> 00:59:37,705
for a w.I. Calendar.
1213
00:59:37,707 --> 00:59:39,273
And if you can't give us
1214
00:59:39,275 --> 00:59:41,975
ten minutes of your time,
madam chairman, then...
1215
00:59:41,977 --> 00:59:43,710
well, then, frankly, guys,
1216
00:59:43,712 --> 00:59:46,012
I'm going to do it
without council approval
1217
00:59:46,014 --> 00:59:48,881
because there are some things
that are more important
1218
00:59:48,883 --> 00:59:50,983
than council approval.
1219
00:59:50,985 --> 00:59:53,752
A-a-and if it means that...
that we get closer
1220
00:59:53,754 --> 00:59:55,920
to... to killing off this...
1221
00:59:55,922 --> 00:59:59,256
Shitty, cheating, sly,
1222
00:59:59,258 --> 01:00:02,125
conniving, bloody disease
that cancer is...
1223
01:00:02,127 --> 01:00:03,993
oh, God, I tell you...
1224
01:00:03,995 --> 01:00:07,029
I'd run around Skipton market
naked, smeared in plum jam,
1225
01:00:07,031 --> 01:00:08,997
wearing nothing but
a knitted tea cozy on me head
1226
01:00:08,999 --> 01:00:10,832
and... and singing "Jerusalem."
1227
01:00:10,834 --> 01:00:12,033
[ Laughter ]
1228
01:00:25,781 --> 01:00:26,980
Let's break.
1229
01:00:27,949 --> 01:00:29,548
Ten minutes.
1230
01:00:30,784 --> 01:00:32,150
[ Indistinct talking ]
1231
01:00:43,996 --> 01:00:46,296
We don't do nudity.
1232
01:00:47,632 --> 01:00:49,732
But we do do charity.
1233
01:00:49,734 --> 01:00:51,934
Can I assume this is
a local fund-raiser
1234
01:00:51,936 --> 01:00:55,203
and you're not going
to be making too big
of a hoo-ha out of it?
1235
01:00:55,205 --> 01:00:57,872
In which case,
it's a branch matter,
1236
01:00:57,874 --> 01:00:59,940
and I can leave any decision
1237
01:00:59,942 --> 01:01:03,276
in the hands
of your branch president.
1238
01:01:03,278 --> 01:01:05,244
Thank you.
Thank you.
1239
01:01:11,318 --> 01:01:13,785
Oh, sod it.
Go on, then.
1240
01:01:16,790 --> 01:01:18,589
Oh, God!
1241
01:01:18,591 --> 01:01:20,891
Did you hear
what she said?
[ Squeals ]
1242
01:01:26,064 --> 01:01:28,998
Chris: "Evening news"?
"Morning herald"?
Annie: Yep. Done.
1243
01:01:29,000 --> 01:01:29,631
Oh, "the gazette."
Did you invite the journalist
from "the gazette"?
1244
01:01:29,633 --> 01:01:31,333
Yes.
1245
01:01:31,334 --> 01:01:33,034
Well, actually, so did I.
We'll have two of them, then.
1246
01:01:33,036 --> 01:01:34,835
Here we go.
1247
01:01:34,837 --> 01:01:36,236
Thank you.
Keep the change.
1248
01:01:38,873 --> 01:01:40,606
Oh, my God, it's half past!
1249
01:01:40,608 --> 01:01:42,774
Come on...
the girls will have done
1250
01:01:42,776 --> 01:01:44,876
half the press conference
by now.
1251
01:01:44,878 --> 01:01:46,310
Right. Where are we?
1252
01:01:46,312 --> 01:01:49,046
Uh, I think it's down here.
Come on.
1253
01:01:52,684 --> 01:01:54,016
Oh. Here we are.
1254
01:02:00,157 --> 01:02:01,789
[ Sighs ]
1255
01:02:04,627 --> 01:02:06,927
How many press releases
did I send out?
1256
01:02:06,929 --> 01:02:10,764
How many
soddin' press releases?
1257
01:02:10,766 --> 01:02:12,832
Bloody local paper.
1258
01:02:12,834 --> 01:02:14,333
I mean, what bigger than this
1259
01:02:14,335 --> 01:02:16,268
has happened
in Knapely tonight?
1260
01:02:16,270 --> 01:02:18,637
Oh, don't tell me... someone's
grown a u-shaped marrow.
1261
01:02:18,639 --> 01:02:20,005
[ Chuckles ]
1262
01:02:22,876 --> 01:02:24,942
We're going to lose money,
aren't we?
1263
01:02:26,045 --> 01:02:28,712
Oh... Not only are
we not going to raise it,
1264
01:02:28,714 --> 01:02:30,914
[ crying ] We're actually
going to lose it.
1265
01:02:31,883 --> 01:02:35,384
Well, I suppose we did
promise it wouldn't be
a big hoo-ha.
1266
01:02:35,386 --> 01:02:36,918
[ Sniffles ]
1267
01:02:36,920 --> 01:02:39,153
We tried.
1268
01:02:39,155 --> 01:02:41,855
At least you made that speech.
1269
01:02:41,857 --> 01:02:43,089
[ Sniffles ]
1270
01:02:43,091 --> 01:02:45,424
Yeah. Well,
it's not enough, Annie.
1271
01:02:47,995 --> 01:02:49,527
[ Sniffles ]
1272
01:02:49,529 --> 01:02:52,062
I mean, I'd rather
not have tried than
to have to face Marie
1273
01:02:52,064 --> 01:02:54,264
and say, "oh, no, actually...
yes, you were right.
1274
01:02:54,266 --> 01:02:57,133
It was another one
of Chris' ideas."
1275
01:02:57,135 --> 01:02:59,034
[ Door opens ]
1276
01:02:59,036 --> 01:03:02,070
Oh. And what's worse...
and this is a good one...
1277
01:03:02,072 --> 01:03:04,038
to add insult to injury,
1278
01:03:04,040 --> 01:03:07,041
I took me clothes off
and no one was interested.
1279
01:03:07,043 --> 01:03:08,809
You after the w.I. Thing?
1280
01:03:08,811 --> 01:03:10,076
Yes.
Yes.
1281
01:03:10,078 --> 01:03:13,012
Had to spill over.
They're in ballroom.
1282
01:03:19,553 --> 01:03:21,920
Um, I don't think
it's giving anything away
1283
01:03:21,922 --> 01:03:23,298
to say we did have
the odd glass of wine...
1284
01:03:23,322 --> 01:03:25,121
Aah!
1285
01:03:25,123 --> 01:03:27,056
Chris!
Celia!
1286
01:03:29,527 --> 01:03:32,261
[ The beach boys'
"sloop John B" plays ]
1287
01:04:33,557 --> 01:04:35,523
Sorry?
1288
01:04:35,525 --> 01:04:37,558
Um... Well... John.
1289
01:04:37,560 --> 01:04:40,093
Our, uh...
1290
01:04:43,998 --> 01:04:46,331
Chris?
Chris, could you take...
[ Indistinct talking ]
1291
01:04:46,333 --> 01:04:48,900
[ Shutters clicking ]
Ooh! Ooh!
1292
01:04:48,902 --> 01:04:50,268
Wait, Chris!
1293
01:04:54,207 --> 01:04:57,174
You're nude
in "the telegraph," dear.
1294
01:05:00,012 --> 01:05:02,145
Uh, can you pass the bacon?
1295
01:05:23,133 --> 01:05:24,165
[ Tires screech ]
1296
01:05:24,167 --> 01:05:25,966
Open up, Maya, love, will you?
1297
01:05:25,968 --> 01:05:27,467
I have, mum.
1298
01:05:27,469 --> 01:05:29,135
We're full.
1299
01:05:31,205 --> 01:05:33,238
[ Indistinct talking ]
1300
01:05:37,443 --> 01:05:39,309
[ Laughs ]
1301
01:05:39,311 --> 01:05:41,678
One minute,
the dressing gown was on,
1302
01:05:41,680 --> 01:05:44,313
and the next,
it was just me and the hat.
1303
01:05:44,315 --> 01:05:47,149
I'm standing here in the
Yorkshire village of Knapely,
1304
01:05:47,151 --> 01:05:49,084
where the local
women's institute
1305
01:05:49,086 --> 01:05:51,586
has not only been raising money
but raising eyebrows
1306
01:05:51,588 --> 01:05:53,588
by stripping
for a charity calendar.
1307
01:05:53,923 --> 01:05:56,189
I'm thinking of taking it up
professionally.
1308
01:05:56,191 --> 01:05:58,257
What's your family think of it?
1309
01:05:58,259 --> 01:06:00,092
I was worried that my daughter
would be embarrassed.
1310
01:06:00,094 --> 01:06:01,226
Mum!
1311
01:06:01,228 --> 01:06:03,094
But she talked me into it.
1312
01:06:03,196 --> 01:06:05,095
Any magazine offers?
1313
01:06:05,964 --> 01:06:08,097
Well, it's his village,
is Knapely.
1314
01:06:08,099 --> 01:06:10,566
The house he grew up in
was down Embsay Lane.
1315
01:06:10,568 --> 01:06:13,035
And that church up there
is where we got married.
Hi, Annie!
1316
01:06:13,037 --> 01:06:15,370
Oh, hiya, Jessie!
1317
01:06:15,372 --> 01:06:17,572
Okay. Sorry.
1318
01:06:17,574 --> 01:06:19,140
Miss September.
1319
01:06:19,142 --> 01:06:20,941
It's done me a world of good.
1320
01:06:20,943 --> 01:06:22,242
[ Indistinct talking ]
1321
01:06:24,980 --> 01:06:27,380
So, Chris,
what gave you the idea?
1322
01:06:27,382 --> 01:06:28,447
[ Doorbell rings ]
1323
01:06:28,449 --> 01:06:29,681
Oh, excuse me.
1324
01:06:31,551 --> 01:06:32,550
Chris...
1325
01:06:32,552 --> 01:06:34,451
Hiya, dear.
1326
01:06:34,453 --> 01:06:37,587
I brought my journalists
to meet your journalists.
1327
01:06:37,589 --> 01:06:39,255
Hello.
[ Shutters clicking ]
1328
01:06:41,025 --> 01:06:42,491
To, uh, to... to, uh...
1329
01:06:42,493 --> 01:06:44,993
Develop ideas and to have, um,
1330
01:06:44,995 --> 01:06:47,028
you know, after all, the...
1331
01:06:47,030 --> 01:06:50,598
the w.I. Is about education
and empowerment of women.
1332
01:06:50,600 --> 01:06:52,967
It's not just jam
and "Jerusalem," you know.
1333
01:06:52,969 --> 01:06:55,436
The w.I. Nude calendar?
1334
01:06:55,438 --> 01:06:58,105
No, love, sorry.
1335
01:06:58,107 --> 01:07:00,674
But I definitely sent you
a... a batch of 50.
1336
01:07:00,676 --> 01:07:02,609
Look...
1337
01:07:02,610 --> 01:07:04,543
Look... "Minstergate bookshop,
York... 50."
1338
01:07:04,546 --> 01:07:08,147
And I got 'em, love.
And I put 'em out at 9:00.
1339
01:07:08,149 --> 01:07:09,982
And at 10 past 9:00,
1340
01:07:09,984 --> 01:07:11,549
we'd sold out.
1341
01:07:15,121 --> 01:07:16,653
Thanks very much.
1342
01:07:16,655 --> 01:07:18,254
Thank you!
1343
01:07:19,190 --> 01:07:20,756
Annie!
1344
01:07:22,159 --> 01:07:23,458
Annie!
1345
01:07:25,261 --> 01:07:28,128
We've got to order
more calendars.
1346
01:07:28,130 --> 01:07:29,762
We're down to the last 25.
1347
01:07:32,233 --> 01:07:33,665
What is it?
1348
01:07:33,667 --> 01:07:36,334
They were waiting for me.
1349
01:07:36,336 --> 01:07:37,335
Who?
1350
01:07:37,337 --> 01:07:39,036
When I got back.
1351
01:07:47,312 --> 01:07:50,146
Oh, my God.
1352
01:07:52,250 --> 01:07:53,749
Look at this, Chris.
1353
01:07:59,088 --> 01:08:00,220
[ Sighs ]
1354
01:08:00,222 --> 01:08:01,788
Oh...
1355
01:08:02,123 --> 01:08:05,090
It's happened to them
just like it's happened to me.
1356
01:08:05,092 --> 01:08:07,025
I'm going to help them.
1357
01:08:08,528 --> 01:08:10,127
[ Sniffles ]
1358
01:08:10,129 --> 01:08:11,645
Mmm.
1359
01:08:11,646 --> 01:08:13,162
Cora: "And your photo
made me smile
1360
01:08:13,165 --> 01:08:16,166
"for the first time
in 15 months.
1361
01:08:16,168 --> 01:08:19,636
"Now I smile
whenever I see the calendar.
1362
01:08:21,039 --> 01:08:24,273
"Thank you, girls,
for your bravery and beauty.
1363
01:08:24,275 --> 01:08:26,708
Best wishes, Vera Mason."
1364
01:08:26,710 --> 01:08:29,777
Jessie:
"It reminded me so of Arlene.
1365
01:08:29,779 --> 01:08:33,046
"You seem to have
the same spirit she had.
1366
01:08:33,048 --> 01:08:35,181
"I know she would have howled
with laughter
1367
01:08:35,183 --> 01:08:37,149
"at your photographs.
1368
01:08:37,284 --> 01:08:40,818
Thank you again.
Looking forward to the next."
1369
01:08:44,156 --> 01:08:46,456
Celia: "I'm currently
in the high-security wing
1370
01:08:46,458 --> 01:08:49,759
"of her majesty's prison
Barlinnie in Scotland
1371
01:08:49,761 --> 01:08:53,295
"and was mightily impressed
by the sheer size of your..."
1372
01:08:55,265 --> 01:08:56,831
[ indistinct talking ]
1373
01:08:58,534 --> 01:09:00,200
It's on! It's on!
1374
01:09:02,137 --> 01:09:03,470
Shh!
Shh! Shh!
1375
01:09:03,471 --> 01:09:04,804
Speaking to the instigator
1376
01:09:04,806 --> 01:09:09,475
of the world's first
nude w.I. Calendar...
Chris Harper.
1377
01:09:09,477 --> 01:09:12,544
[ Cheering ]
Man on TV:
Yes, thanks. So, Chris,
tell us how it all came about.
1378
01:09:12,546 --> 01:09:14,479
Because you wouldn't
normally associate
1379
01:09:14,481 --> 01:09:15,646
the women's institute
with nudity.
1380
01:09:15,648 --> 01:09:17,147
Oh, no!
Shh.
1381
01:09:17,149 --> 01:09:19,849
No, no, no, the usual image
of the w.I. Calendar
1382
01:09:19,851 --> 01:09:22,852
is of plums and jam
and country views, but...
1383
01:09:22,854 --> 01:09:25,387
Well, we thought if
glamour photographers can do it
1384
01:09:25,389 --> 01:09:28,256
on a beach in Bangkok,
we could do it in a church hall
1385
01:09:28,258 --> 01:09:29,857
near Skipton.
Near Skipton.
1386
01:09:29,859 --> 01:09:31,191
[ Laughter ]
1387
01:09:36,297 --> 01:09:37,763
Fantastic.
1388
01:09:37,765 --> 01:09:39,564
We feel fabulously!
1389
01:09:41,801 --> 01:09:43,500
I was trying
to get in there.
[ Laughs ]
1390
01:09:45,704 --> 01:09:47,870
Middle age didn't put them off
stripping off,
1391
01:09:47,872 --> 01:09:49,872
and now these women
are hogging the headlines
1392
01:09:49,874 --> 01:09:51,373
right across the north.
1393
01:09:51,375 --> 01:09:53,174
Chris Harper's behind it all.
1394
01:09:53,176 --> 01:09:54,542
Rather than fall back
1395
01:09:54,544 --> 01:09:57,144
on the usual
twee landscape scenes,
1396
01:09:57,146 --> 01:09:58,879
she talked her friends
into posing nude
1397
01:09:58,881 --> 01:10:01,414
for their local
women's institute calendar...
1398
01:10:01,416 --> 01:10:03,282
not quite
the jam and "Jerusalem"
1399
01:10:03,284 --> 01:10:05,484
the ladies
are usually known for.
1400
01:10:05,486 --> 01:10:08,186
Chris says their husbands will
never look at their wives
1401
01:10:08,188 --> 01:10:09,587
in the same way again...
1402
01:10:09,589 --> 01:10:11,488
and neither will
the other members
1403
01:10:11,490 --> 01:10:13,790
of this quiet, little dales
community.
1404
01:10:19,664 --> 01:10:21,430
[ Bird squawking ]
1405
01:11:06,910 --> 01:11:07,808
Where are you going?
1406
01:11:07,810 --> 01:11:09,543
It's Thursday.
1407
01:11:09,545 --> 01:11:12,212
But you just got back
from the conference.
1408
01:11:12,214 --> 01:11:14,514
Eddie, I've got
a surprise for you.
1409
01:11:14,516 --> 01:11:15,516
I've had it.
1410
01:11:16,884 --> 01:11:18,583
I got it when
someone turned around
1411
01:11:18,585 --> 01:11:20,418
in the petrol queue and said,
1412
01:11:20,553 --> 01:11:23,253
"ain't this tart
with her tits out your wife?"
1413
01:11:29,560 --> 01:11:30,926
[ Tires screech ]
1414
01:11:31,261 --> 01:11:31,959
Eddie!
1415
01:11:31,961 --> 01:11:33,560
[ Engine revs ]
1416
01:11:33,562 --> 01:11:35,828
Eddie! I didn't do it
just to... I just...
1417
01:11:36,931 --> 01:11:37,931
Eddie!
1418
01:11:43,303 --> 01:11:44,869
[ Tires screech ]
1419
01:11:44,871 --> 01:11:46,704
Burston wedding today.
1420
01:11:46,706 --> 01:11:47,905
Morning, Jem.
1421
01:11:47,907 --> 01:11:49,606
[ Telephone beeps ] I'm gaz.
1422
01:11:49,608 --> 01:11:51,341
And we've got another order.
1423
01:11:51,343 --> 01:11:53,743
It's a massive order, Chris.
1424
01:11:53,745 --> 01:11:55,811
Guy's coming 'round
at 4:30.
1425
01:11:55,813 --> 01:11:57,946
Got a meeting.
1426
01:11:57,948 --> 01:12:00,348
When are you back?
Later. Bye.
1427
01:12:00,350 --> 01:12:02,483
[ Door closes ] When later?
1428
01:12:03,919 --> 01:12:05,585
Anyone seen Jem?
1429
01:12:10,224 --> 01:12:12,290
Normally more than
one of you, is there?
1430
01:12:13,761 --> 01:12:16,661
Aye, uh, sorry.
1431
01:12:16,663 --> 01:12:19,430
But, uh, my wife...
1432
01:12:19,432 --> 01:12:21,465
She's a bit busy at the moment.
1433
01:12:21,467 --> 01:12:22,699
Kids?
1434
01:12:24,769 --> 01:12:26,736
No.
1435
01:12:26,737 --> 01:12:28,704
It's some w.I. Calendar thing
she's organized.
1436
01:12:28,706 --> 01:12:30,072
She's on a chat show.
1437
01:12:30,074 --> 01:12:32,040
Not the calendar...
the nude one?
1438
01:12:33,076 --> 01:12:35,042
Aye.
[ Chuckles ]
Well, that's... we...
1439
01:12:35,044 --> 01:12:36,777
we just bought one.
1440
01:12:36,779 --> 01:12:38,712
Eh, my wife came home...
seriously, it's...
1441
01:12:38,714 --> 01:12:39,979
why, it's fantastic.
1442
01:12:39,981 --> 01:12:41,680
I'll tell her.
[ Chuckles ]
1443
01:12:41,682 --> 01:12:42,881
So...
1444
01:12:42,883 --> 01:12:45,984
I've bought flowers off mister.
1445
01:12:45,986 --> 01:12:47,986
Come on, then,
which one is she?
1446
01:12:49,956 --> 01:12:50,956
January.
1447
01:12:52,457 --> 01:12:54,757
Suppose you're getting sick
of all this, are you?
1448
01:12:54,759 --> 01:12:55,891
Aye.
1449
01:12:59,897 --> 01:13:02,864
Oi, give us some of that.
1450
01:13:02,866 --> 01:13:04,131
[ Grunts ]
1451
01:13:07,903 --> 01:13:08,868
[ Groans ]
1452
01:13:08,870 --> 01:13:11,070
Thought I'd find you here.
1453
01:13:11,405 --> 01:13:12,837
You all right?
1454
01:13:14,841 --> 01:13:17,374
You got any money?
1455
01:13:17,376 --> 01:13:19,676
I mean, what is funny, right...
between you and me...
1456
01:13:19,678 --> 01:13:21,711
some of the blokes, uh...
1457
01:13:21,713 --> 01:13:26,381
Frank... his wife
would hardly undress
in front of him before.
1458
01:13:26,516 --> 01:13:29,583
And now, apparently,
1459
01:13:29,585 --> 01:13:30,750
you know...
1460
01:13:30,752 --> 01:13:31,951
[ Laughter ]
1461
01:13:35,623 --> 01:13:37,155
And we're saying
it's not had that effect
1462
01:13:37,157 --> 01:13:38,890
in our bedroom, I can tell you.
1463
01:13:38,892 --> 01:13:41,125
Hardly see her.
1464
01:13:41,127 --> 01:13:42,726
[ Clears throat ]
1465
01:13:42,728 --> 01:13:45,028
Sorry,
I can't resist this...
1466
01:13:45,030 --> 01:13:46,829
Mr. January.
1467
01:13:46,964 --> 01:13:49,281
You don't mind, do you?
1468
01:13:49,282 --> 01:13:51,599
Aye. As long as I don't
have to take me clothes off.
1469
01:13:51,601 --> 01:13:54,468
[ Camera whirs ]
1470
01:13:54,470 --> 01:13:56,102
[ Laughs ]
1471
01:13:56,437 --> 01:13:59,404
♪ I will not cease ♪
[ Cellphone rings ]
1472
01:13:59,406 --> 01:14:01,873
♪ From mental fight ♪
1473
01:14:01,875 --> 01:14:07,945
♪ nor shall my sword sleep
in my hand ♪
1474
01:14:07,947 --> 01:14:13,917
♪ till we have built
Jerusalem ♪
1475
01:14:13,919 --> 01:14:17,053
I'll tell you.
It's unbelievable.
Come on. All right.
1476
01:14:17,055 --> 01:14:19,055
Well, for the last two hours,
1477
01:14:19,057 --> 01:14:21,957
I have been
exchanging phone calls...
1478
01:14:22,893 --> 01:14:24,659
with Hollywood.
1479
01:14:24,661 --> 01:14:26,494
What?!
The real one?
1480
01:14:26,496 --> 01:14:28,829
No, Celia, the chocolate one.
1481
01:14:28,831 --> 01:14:30,030
Yes... the real one.
1482
01:14:30,032 --> 01:14:31,865
From who?
1483
01:14:32,000 --> 01:14:34,567
From the studio
of a show with a man
1484
01:14:34,569 --> 01:14:36,669
whose name I've forgotten.
1485
01:14:36,671 --> 01:14:38,971
They're not coming
all the way from America.
1486
01:14:38,973 --> 01:14:40,990
No.
1487
01:14:40,991 --> 01:14:43,008
We're going to do it
on the phone?
1488
01:14:43,010 --> 01:14:45,327
No.
1489
01:14:45,328 --> 01:14:47,645
They only do
face-to-face interview.
1490
01:14:47,647 --> 01:14:49,146
But if they won't come here
1491
01:14:49,481 --> 01:14:50,480
and they won't do it on
the phone, how are we gon...
1492
01:14:50,482 --> 01:14:52,748
[ gasps ] Oh, my God.
1493
01:14:52,750 --> 01:14:53,982
[ Chuckles softly ]
1494
01:14:53,984 --> 01:14:55,049
Are we going to Hollywood?
1495
01:14:55,051 --> 01:14:56,450
[ Women squealing ]
1496
01:14:56,452 --> 01:14:57,150
Shh!
1497
01:14:57,152 --> 01:14:58,551
Shh.
1498
01:14:58,553 --> 01:15:01,053
Now, you're joking?
1499
01:15:01,955 --> 01:15:04,821
Reynoldson, with a "y."
1500
01:15:06,791 --> 01:15:08,891
Ohh, he's there.
1501
01:15:08,893 --> 01:15:10,459
Oh, please.
1502
01:15:10,461 --> 01:15:12,494
Could you put me through
to his room?
1503
01:15:18,602 --> 01:15:19,934
Eddie?
1504
01:15:27,642 --> 01:15:28,974
[ Laughing ]
1505
01:15:30,143 --> 01:15:32,877
[ Deep, raspy voice ]
Your toilet was broken,
1506
01:15:32,879 --> 01:15:36,180
but, uh, but I've fixed it now.
1507
01:15:36,182 --> 01:15:38,482
[ Coughs ]
1508
01:15:38,484 --> 01:15:39,249
All right, lads.
1509
01:15:39,251 --> 01:15:40,516
[ Coughs ]
1510
01:15:42,019 --> 01:15:43,651
Can I help you, officer?
1511
01:15:43,653 --> 01:15:45,819
You can put that joint out
for a start.
1512
01:15:53,060 --> 01:15:54,659
Hollywood?
1513
01:15:54,661 --> 01:15:57,194
Well, it's not for fun.
It's really important.
1514
01:15:57,196 --> 01:15:59,729
I mean, if we get
on the telly in America,
1515
01:15:59,731 --> 01:16:02,031
it's fantastic publicity.
1516
01:16:02,033 --> 01:16:04,800
I mean, just imagine...
the whole of America.
1517
01:16:06,770 --> 01:16:09,070
What about our business, Chris?
1518
01:16:09,072 --> 01:16:11,072
Or is that not important?
1519
01:16:13,142 --> 01:16:15,041
[ Telephone ringing ]
1520
01:16:19,580 --> 01:16:20,879
[ Ringing continues ]
1521
01:16:20,881 --> 01:16:22,947
Can you get that?
1522
01:16:26,118 --> 01:16:28,184
I'm in a meeting.
1523
01:16:28,519 --> 01:16:30,518
Hello... flower power.
1524
01:16:33,923 --> 01:16:36,189
It won't be anything serious.
1525
01:16:36,191 --> 01:16:37,924
It'll be all right.
1526
01:16:39,227 --> 01:16:40,659
They're not charging him.
1527
01:16:40,661 --> 01:16:42,060
Oh, thank God.
Oh, why?
1528
01:16:42,062 --> 01:16:44,028
Is it... is it not
illegal, then?
1529
01:16:44,030 --> 01:16:45,529
Well, cannabis is,
1530
01:16:45,531 --> 01:16:47,931
but they tend not to worry
too much about oregano.
1531
01:16:47,933 --> 01:16:49,999
[ Laughter ] Right.
1532
01:16:50,001 --> 01:16:51,567
Right.
1533
01:16:52,536 --> 01:16:54,202
Oh, Jem...
1534
01:16:54,204 --> 01:16:56,837
You stupid... you...
you stupid little...
1535
01:16:56,839 --> 01:16:58,772
oh, thanks, mum.
1536
01:16:58,774 --> 01:16:59,774
Jem...
1537
01:16:59,874 --> 01:17:01,306
it's all right.
I'll go.
1538
01:17:01,308 --> 01:17:03,641
We've already had
a little father-and-son.
1539
01:17:03,643 --> 01:17:05,720
Anyway, you've got to
sign something up there
before we can go.
1540
01:17:05,744 --> 01:17:06,576
Oh, right.
1541
01:17:06,578 --> 01:17:07,777
Jem!
1542
01:17:07,779 --> 01:17:09,111
Would you like to come
this way, madam?
1543
01:17:09,113 --> 01:17:11,847
[ Sighs ] Yes, all right.
1544
01:17:11,849 --> 01:17:13,815
Oh. Thanks.
1545
01:17:26,028 --> 01:17:27,060
Thanks very much.
1546
01:17:27,062 --> 01:17:28,728
Good night.
Good night.
1547
01:17:30,031 --> 01:17:32,264
Where is it?
Where the hell is it?
1548
01:17:32,266 --> 01:17:34,933
Ah, passport.
1549
01:17:36,102 --> 01:17:37,901
Right, I'm hoping
they'll let me in
1550
01:17:37,903 --> 01:17:39,102
with a few calendars.
1551
01:17:39,104 --> 01:17:40,670
After we've been
on the American telly,
1552
01:17:40,672 --> 01:17:42,738
we might be able
to shift a few.
1553
01:17:42,740 --> 01:17:44,206
Oh, no, wait a minute.
1554
01:17:44,208 --> 01:17:46,708
The holidays are all different
there, aren't they?
1555
01:17:46,710 --> 01:17:48,710
Well, maybe we'll have to do
a reprint.
1556
01:17:48,712 --> 01:17:51,145
You know...
the American version.
1557
01:17:52,214 --> 01:17:54,013
So...
1558
01:17:54,015 --> 01:17:55,881
Your son's been arrested.
1559
01:17:57,985 --> 01:17:59,851
Yes, I know.
1560
01:17:59,853 --> 01:18:03,287
And released, Annie,
with 10 grams of oregano.
1561
01:18:03,289 --> 01:18:06,690
The only thing that'd be
dangerous in is a quiche.
1562
01:18:06,692 --> 01:18:08,925
But he thought
it was drugs, Chris.
1563
01:18:10,995 --> 01:18:13,628
Do you want to stay?
1564
01:18:13,630 --> 01:18:15,663
Find out why?
1565
01:18:16,866 --> 01:18:18,332
[ Sighs ]
1566
01:18:18,334 --> 01:18:20,867
Well, yes, I mean,
I do, obviously, but...
1567
01:18:20,869 --> 01:18:22,001
[ Sighs ]
1568
01:18:22,003 --> 01:18:26,338
Well, the woman in the studio
contacted me, Annie.
1569
01:18:26,340 --> 01:18:28,006
I'm the... the one who...
1570
01:18:28,008 --> 01:18:30,875
Chris, Chris, we can cope.
1571
01:18:30,877 --> 01:18:33,244
[ Chuckles ] We're big girls.
1572
01:18:34,981 --> 01:18:36,280
Particularly Celia.
1573
01:18:36,282 --> 01:18:37,814
[ Both chuckling ]
1574
01:18:39,217 --> 01:18:40,749
[ Sniffles ]
1575
01:18:42,385 --> 01:18:43,951
[ Sighs ]
1576
01:18:45,254 --> 01:18:48,355
[ Vehicles passing ]
1577
01:18:53,995 --> 01:18:56,895
[ Slow music playing,
indistinct conversations ]
1578
01:18:56,897 --> 01:18:59,163
[ Glasses clinking ]
1579
01:19:11,010 --> 01:19:12,209
Hello.
1580
01:19:14,079 --> 01:19:16,079
I was wondering
if you could quote me
1581
01:19:16,081 --> 01:19:18,014
for some carpet.
1582
01:19:19,283 --> 01:19:22,350
You do sell carpets?
1583
01:19:22,352 --> 01:19:25,019
You are the owner
of a carpet warehouse?
1584
01:19:25,021 --> 01:19:26,754
Sorry. I'm with someone.
1585
01:19:26,756 --> 01:19:27,988
I know.
1586
01:19:28,123 --> 01:19:29,921
My husband.
1587
01:19:32,992 --> 01:19:35,325
I just came to ilkley
1588
01:19:35,327 --> 01:19:39,128
to see what
I wasn't as good as.
1589
01:19:40,030 --> 01:19:42,530
Okay. Well,
you've done that now.
1590
01:19:44,800 --> 01:19:47,000
He told me you were the manager
1591
01:19:47,002 --> 01:19:48,835
of a carpet warehouse.
1592
01:19:48,837 --> 01:19:51,069
Told me you were dead.
1593
01:19:54,207 --> 01:19:56,473
I think maybe I have been.
1594
01:19:56,475 --> 01:19:59,943
You are looking good, baby.
1595
01:19:59,945 --> 01:20:01,978
Sorry.
1596
01:20:01,980 --> 01:20:05,181
Which one of us are you
talking about, Eddie...
1597
01:20:05,183 --> 01:20:08,850
the one that makes a
tart of herself by taking
her clothes off, or me?
1598
01:20:10,386 --> 01:20:11,451
Sod off.
1599
01:20:11,786 --> 01:20:12,918
Eddie...
1600
01:20:12,920 --> 01:20:15,553
No, no.
You stay and enjoy yourselves.
1601
01:20:16,822 --> 01:20:18,288
I'm off to Hollywood.
1602
01:20:18,290 --> 01:20:21,557
[ Up-tempo Latin music plays ]
1603
01:20:21,559 --> 01:20:23,892
Eddie...
1604
01:20:26,997 --> 01:20:29,097
Sorry I'm late.
Ooh.
1605
01:20:29,099 --> 01:20:31,065
Frank was so slow.
1606
01:20:31,067 --> 01:20:34,201
Bloody hell, Celia.
How many frocks?
1607
01:20:34,203 --> 01:20:36,069
And you'll be
flooded out.
1608
01:20:36,071 --> 01:20:40,173
And if anything goes wrong,
phone your auntie Syl.
1609
01:20:40,175 --> 01:20:43,809
It's full of calendars.
Aren't you gonna say,
"don't do anything
I wouldn't do?"
1610
01:20:43,811 --> 01:20:45,844
You already have, mum.
1611
01:20:45,846 --> 01:20:48,479
Right, everyone.
Has everyone got a ticket?
1612
01:20:48,481 --> 01:20:50,080
Yes.
Yes. Yes.
1613
01:20:50,082 --> 01:20:51,114
A passport?
1614
01:20:51,116 --> 01:20:52,982
Yes.
Yes.
1615
01:20:52,984 --> 01:20:54,583
A lying snake for a husband?
1616
01:20:55,919 --> 01:20:58,119
No?
Only me, there, then.
1617
01:20:58,121 --> 01:21:00,020
Let's go.
1618
01:21:01,256 --> 01:21:03,256
Come on.
1619
01:21:03,258 --> 01:21:07,426
Hollywood, please...
on your shiniest plane.
1620
01:21:07,428 --> 01:21:09,461
[ Laughter ]
1621
01:21:09,463 --> 01:21:12,564
[ Typing ]
1622
01:21:12,566 --> 01:21:15,233
Sorry, ladies.
You've come to the wrong desk.
1623
01:21:15,235 --> 01:21:17,068
What?
What? What?
1624
01:21:17,070 --> 01:21:20,004
[ Sighs ]
1625
01:21:20,006 --> 01:21:22,039
I have asked four people.
1626
01:21:22,041 --> 01:21:23,940
Each of them said
we could check in for a flight
1627
01:21:23,942 --> 01:21:25,608
to Los Angeles at any desks.
1628
01:21:25,610 --> 01:21:28,944
We have queued for 20 minutes
in the only queue,
1629
01:21:28,946 --> 01:21:30,512
and we were directed
1630
01:21:30,514 --> 01:21:32,413
to your desk
by your representative.
1631
01:21:32,415 --> 01:21:35,015
Where precisely
have we gone wrong?
1632
01:21:35,017 --> 01:21:37,117
There was no need
to queue, madam.
1633
01:21:37,119 --> 01:21:39,018
You're all flying
upper-class.
1634
01:21:39,020 --> 01:21:40,486
You've been upgraded.
1635
01:21:40,488 --> 01:21:42,454
First class!
First class!
1636
01:21:42,456 --> 01:21:43,888
First class!
1637
01:21:43,890 --> 01:21:45,089
[ All giggling ]
1638
01:21:45,091 --> 01:21:47,524
I can check you in here
if you like.
1639
01:21:47,526 --> 01:21:49,559
Oh, thank you.
Thank you, dear.
1640
01:21:49,561 --> 01:21:51,338
What a nice girl.
I knew she was a nice girl.
I know.
1641
01:21:51,362 --> 01:21:53,595
[ Indistinct talking ]
1642
01:21:55,999 --> 01:21:58,632
Celia, press the white
button on the right.
What?
1643
01:21:58,634 --> 01:22:00,533
I am doing it.
[ Laughing ] Oh!
1644
01:22:00,535 --> 01:22:03,202
It's coming down.
Whoo-hoo!
On the right?
1645
01:22:03,204 --> 01:22:04,436
What? What? What?
Bye-bye.
1646
01:22:04,438 --> 01:22:06,104
Cheerio.
1647
01:22:06,106 --> 01:22:08,172
Fantastic.
I'm going right under
your seat here.
1648
01:22:08,174 --> 01:22:09,406
Bye-bye.
1649
01:22:09,408 --> 01:22:11,975
[ Laughing ]
I'm right
underneath you.
1650
01:22:11,977 --> 01:22:13,977
I've got my foot stuck now.
1651
01:22:13,979 --> 01:22:15,578
Ow!
1652
01:22:17,615 --> 01:22:20,916
[ Birds chirping ]
1653
01:22:20,918 --> 01:22:23,351
[ Snoring ]
1654
01:22:23,486 --> 01:22:25,052
[ Bell ringing ]
1655
01:22:25,054 --> 01:22:28,055
[ Rattling ]
1656
01:22:32,027 --> 01:22:33,493
[ Hinges creak ]
1657
01:22:40,635 --> 01:22:42,301
[ Creak ]
1658
01:22:47,140 --> 01:22:49,106
[ Sighs ]
1659
01:23:20,939 --> 01:23:24,040
[ The meters' "ride your pony"
plays ]
1660
01:23:31,315 --> 01:23:33,682
Where are we, Cora?
1661
01:23:33,684 --> 01:23:35,550
Hey, this is sunset strip!
1662
01:23:35,552 --> 01:23:36,552
No!
1663
01:23:37,953 --> 01:23:40,553
♪ Ride the pony ♪
1664
01:23:40,555 --> 01:23:43,122
♪ get on your pony and ride ♪
1665
01:23:43,124 --> 01:23:44,556
♪ ooh, yeah... ♪
1666
01:23:44,558 --> 01:23:46,157
cheerio, girls.
I'll see you later.
1667
01:23:46,159 --> 01:23:47,958
What are you doing?
I'm superman.
1668
01:23:47,960 --> 01:23:50,093
I'm going up.
Be careful!
1669
01:23:50,095 --> 01:23:52,128
It's lovely. Come on.
1670
01:23:52,130 --> 01:23:54,997
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, now ♪
1671
01:23:54,999 --> 01:23:57,566
hey, how you doing?!
1672
01:23:57,568 --> 01:23:58,700
♪ Keep on riding ♪
1673
01:23:58,702 --> 01:24:00,068
Hollywood! We're here!
1674
01:24:00,203 --> 01:24:02,403
Get down!
Stop messing about!
1675
01:24:04,673 --> 01:24:07,006
♪ You've got to do it, now ♪
1676
01:24:10,077 --> 01:24:13,978
♪ way out west,
where the grass is green ♪
1677
01:24:13,980 --> 01:24:17,047
♪ California,
you know what I mean ♪
1678
01:24:17,049 --> 01:24:19,616
good afternoon, ladies.
1679
01:24:19,618 --> 01:24:21,718
Thank you, Ashley.
I'll handle this.
1680
01:24:21,720 --> 01:24:23,753
Good afternoon, ladies.
Welcome to Los Angeles.
1681
01:24:23,755 --> 01:24:26,055
Thank you.
This is our
first time here. Thank you.
1682
01:24:26,057 --> 01:24:27,222
Is that right?
[ Chuckling ] Yeah.
1683
01:24:27,224 --> 01:24:30,058
Um... Clarke.
Name's Clarke.
1684
01:24:30,060 --> 01:24:31,459
Mrs. Clarke...
[ Typing ]
1685
01:24:31,461 --> 01:24:34,528
Or should I call you
miss February?
1686
01:24:34,530 --> 01:24:37,697
I saw your picture
in the paper this morning.
1687
01:24:37,699 --> 01:24:39,198
[ Chuckles ] [ Chuckles ]
1688
01:24:39,333 --> 01:24:41,132
In an American paper!
1689
01:24:41,134 --> 01:24:42,666
Thank you, ma'am.
1690
01:24:42,668 --> 01:24:44,852
It's all right.
1691
01:24:44,853 --> 01:24:47,037
Now, I'll just talk you
through the facilities, okay?
1692
01:24:47,039 --> 01:24:49,005
Right.
All right, now,
1693
01:24:49,007 --> 01:24:52,041
there are two televisions,
one on each end,
1694
01:24:52,043 --> 01:24:54,777
both of which have cable TV,
Internet access,
1695
01:24:54,779 --> 01:24:56,278
and movies on demand.
1696
01:24:56,280 --> 01:24:59,114
Now, there is also
a full bar here,
1697
01:24:59,116 --> 01:25:01,116
but if you need
anything special,
1698
01:25:01,118 --> 01:25:03,718
don't hesitate to call
downstairs, and we'll...
1699
01:25:03,720 --> 01:25:05,453
is everything okay, ma'am?
1700
01:25:05,455 --> 01:25:08,422
O-oh, yeah. No, it's fine.
It's just I'm a bit tired.
1701
01:25:08,424 --> 01:25:10,390
I'd like to go
to my room now, really.
1702
01:25:10,392 --> 01:25:13,292
This is the hotel's
master suite, ma'am.
1703
01:25:13,294 --> 01:25:15,761
This is your room.
1704
01:25:19,767 --> 01:25:21,700
Come on,
I'll show you downstairs.
1705
01:25:21,702 --> 01:25:23,501
It's beautiful.
1706
01:25:23,503 --> 01:25:27,671
[ The temptations' "the way you
do the things you do" plays ]
1707
01:25:29,408 --> 01:25:33,209
♪ You got a smile so bright ♪
1708
01:25:33,311 --> 01:25:35,244
♪ you know,
you could have been... ♪
1709
01:25:35,246 --> 01:25:36,778
have you been in your bathroom?
1710
01:25:36,780 --> 01:25:39,113
[ Water splashing ]
Me too! I'm in the bath!
1711
01:25:39,115 --> 01:25:41,048
And the bubbles...
they're Christian Dior.
1712
01:25:41,050 --> 01:25:43,617
The bath bubbles...
they're Christian Dior!
1713
01:25:43,619 --> 01:25:46,186
Do you think
they'll charge us for it?
1714
01:25:46,321 --> 01:25:48,487
Oh! I hope not!
1715
01:25:48,489 --> 01:25:53,124
♪ You know,
you could have been a broom ♪
1716
01:25:53,126 --> 01:25:56,760
♪ the way you smell so sweet ♪
1717
01:25:56,762 --> 01:26:00,830
♪ you know, you could have been
some perfume ♪
1718
01:26:00,832 --> 01:26:05,800
♪ well, you could have been
anything that you wanted to ♪
1719
01:26:05,802 --> 01:26:08,502
♪ and I can tell ♪
1720
01:26:08,504 --> 01:26:10,704
♪ the way you do
the things you do ♪
1721
01:26:10,706 --> 01:26:12,186
♪ the way you do
the things you do ♪
1722
01:26:13,107 --> 01:26:14,706
♪ the way you do
the things you do ♪
♪ ah, baby ♪
1723
01:26:14,708 --> 01:26:16,207
♪ as pretty as you are ♪
1724
01:26:16,209 --> 01:26:17,675
[ indistinct conversations ]
1725
01:26:17,810 --> 01:26:19,409
Oh, yes.
1726
01:26:19,411 --> 01:26:20,810
Nice! Good!
1727
01:26:20,812 --> 01:26:22,778
And then...
and then into the limo.
1728
01:26:23,113 --> 01:26:25,847
Into the limo we all...
that was very good.
1729
01:26:25,849 --> 01:26:27,381
No, no, it was great.
1730
01:26:27,383 --> 01:26:28,582
Let me have a shot
with you and the girls.
1731
01:26:28,584 --> 01:26:30,283
No, no, no.
Oh, come on!
1732
01:26:30,285 --> 01:26:32,218
No, no, no, no, no.
Come on, come on.
1733
01:26:32,220 --> 01:26:34,520
Give him a kiss.
Put your arm around him.
1734
01:26:34,522 --> 01:26:36,755
British women
are taking me hostage.
We are not going to
let him go.
1735
01:26:36,757 --> 01:26:40,492
I have to pay for that.
British women
have taken him hostage.
1736
01:26:40,494 --> 01:26:41,793
Right!
1737
01:26:41,795 --> 01:26:43,694
[ Indistinct conversations ]
1738
01:26:43,696 --> 01:26:45,563
What are we doing
first, then, eh?
1739
01:26:45,565 --> 01:26:47,865
Hey, Chris!
Chris!
1740
01:26:47,867 --> 01:26:49,867
Oh, Chris!
We never expected you!
1741
01:26:49,869 --> 01:26:53,837
What?!
Oh! Oh,
you look gorgeous!
1742
01:26:53,839 --> 01:26:57,407
Oh...
I'm very excited!
1743
01:26:57,409 --> 01:27:00,309
Oh... hello.
You look wonderful!
1744
01:27:00,311 --> 01:27:02,644
Let me look at you.
Let me look at you.
1745
01:27:02,646 --> 01:27:04,512
And look, Chris...
there's a camera...
1746
01:27:04,514 --> 01:27:06,747
[ Quincy Jones'
"comin' home baby" plays ]
1747
01:27:06,882 --> 01:27:08,982
[ Indistinct conversations ]
1748
01:27:08,984 --> 01:27:11,851
Autograph.
1749
01:27:13,921 --> 01:27:15,220
Thank you.
1750
01:27:19,593 --> 01:27:22,327
Man: You're lovely!
1751
01:27:22,329 --> 01:27:24,462
That's fantastic!
1752
01:27:24,464 --> 01:27:25,896
Yay!
Yay! Yay!
1753
01:27:25,898 --> 01:27:27,430
Ha ha! Great, ladies!
1754
01:27:27,565 --> 01:27:29,965
Okay, we got another section
coming up.
1755
01:27:29,967 --> 01:27:32,367
Hey!
Thank you very much!
Bye-bye!
1756
01:27:32,369 --> 01:27:34,001
H-hold it, guys.
Hold it.
Thank you!
1757
01:27:34,003 --> 01:27:35,902
Ladies, please!
Ladies, please!
1758
01:27:35,904 --> 01:27:38,905
We got a whole new section
to do here! Come on!
1759
01:27:38,907 --> 01:27:41,774
[ Women giggling ]
Come on, ladies.
1760
01:27:41,776 --> 01:27:43,408
Ooh, it's freezing!
1761
01:27:43,543 --> 01:27:45,442
Stay home, relax, grow a beard,
1762
01:27:45,444 --> 01:27:47,577
meet pretty girls,
and just drink.
1763
01:27:47,579 --> 01:27:48,911
That's all I want to do.
1764
01:27:48,913 --> 01:27:51,647
[ Indistinct conversations ]
1765
01:27:55,953 --> 01:27:57,285
Four pages, Annie...
1766
01:27:57,287 --> 01:27:58,986
the cover page
and then four pages
1767
01:27:58,988 --> 01:28:01,388
about how I don't give him
sex anymore.
1768
01:28:01,390 --> 01:28:03,890
Oh... Just...
I just had to get away.
1769
01:28:03,892 --> 01:28:07,460
I mean, the press will be
all over it by now.
1770
01:28:07,462 --> 01:28:09,895
So rod's having to deal
with all that
1771
01:28:09,897 --> 01:28:11,596
on his own, then, is he?
1772
01:28:12,565 --> 01:28:14,565
Well... Him and Jem.
1773
01:28:16,335 --> 01:28:19,002
Slightly out of character,
don't you think,
1774
01:28:19,004 --> 01:28:22,739
for rod, saying all that?
1775
01:28:22,741 --> 01:28:24,674
Did he get tricked into it?
1776
01:28:26,377 --> 01:28:28,877
Did you stay to find out?
1777
01:28:29,846 --> 01:28:32,279
Or by that time,
was there a taxi waiting?
1778
01:28:34,349 --> 01:28:35,614
Are you all right?
1779
01:28:35,616 --> 01:28:36,681
Oh, yeah.
1780
01:28:36,683 --> 01:28:38,315
Fine.
1781
01:28:38,317 --> 01:28:39,516
Annie, Chris...
1782
01:28:39,518 --> 01:28:41,551
This is Frank, Scott, and John.
1783
01:28:41,553 --> 01:28:43,486
They're in a band
called Anthrax.
1784
01:28:43,488 --> 01:28:44,820
Oh.
Hello. Hi.
1785
01:28:44,822 --> 01:28:47,322
I've heard so much
about you girls.
1786
01:28:47,457 --> 01:28:49,290
Yeah? Well, why
don't you sit down?
I'm really impressed
with what you're doing.
1787
01:28:49,292 --> 01:28:51,125
It really is a great story.
1788
01:28:51,126 --> 01:28:53,271
I'm afraid we haven't heard
anything about you.
Oh, I have. I have.
1789
01:28:53,295 --> 01:28:54,961
Yes, I have, actually.
1790
01:28:54,963 --> 01:28:57,530
So have you had... have you had
a think about that, then?
1791
01:28:57,532 --> 01:28:59,598
Yes.
1792
01:28:59,600 --> 01:29:02,033
Well, yes, it would be
in that ballpark, yes.
1793
01:29:02,035 --> 01:29:04,535
[ Indistinct conversations ]
1794
01:29:04,537 --> 01:29:06,069
Well, you know what?
1795
01:29:06,071 --> 01:29:08,871
Let me talk with my associates,
and I'll get back to you.
1796
01:29:08,873 --> 01:29:10,405
Okay. Bye.
1797
01:29:10,407 --> 01:29:12,373
Thank you.
Who was that
on the phone?
1798
01:29:12,375 --> 01:29:15,309
Very exciting.
Very exciting.
1799
01:29:15,444 --> 01:29:18,445
I'll tell you in makeup.
We're dead close to a deal.
1800
01:29:18,447 --> 01:29:19,979
Oh, oh, that's him.
1801
01:29:19,981 --> 01:29:22,982
By the way, is it Lee-no
or Len-o? Do we know?
1802
01:29:22,984 --> 01:29:24,850
Len-o.
Are you sure?
1803
01:29:24,852 --> 01:29:25,917
No, it's Lee-no.
1804
01:29:25,919 --> 01:29:28,052
Len-o.
1805
01:29:28,054 --> 01:29:30,754
Not only will they sponsor
the calendar in America
1806
01:29:30,756 --> 01:29:32,822
to the tune of $30,000,
1807
01:29:32,824 --> 01:29:34,857
but guess who will be filming
in the studio
1808
01:29:34,859 --> 01:29:37,559
next to the one we're going to
shoot the advert in.
1809
01:29:37,561 --> 01:29:38,860
What?
1810
01:29:38,862 --> 01:29:40,895
Guess who will be filming
in the studio
1811
01:29:40,897 --> 01:29:43,731
next to the one we're going to
shoot the advert in.
1812
01:29:43,733 --> 01:29:45,432
Advert?
1813
01:29:45,434 --> 01:29:47,534
Well, they sponsor us,
we do their advert
for washing powder.
1814
01:29:47,536 --> 01:29:49,969
Ching-ching.
That's how it works.
1815
01:29:49,971 --> 01:29:52,471
George Clooney.
1816
01:29:52,473 --> 01:29:55,574
Can I have it straight,
like Jennifer Aniston?
1817
01:29:55,576 --> 01:29:57,008
You know, in "friends"?
1818
01:29:57,010 --> 01:29:59,910
Why... why would I dye
just part of my head?
1819
01:29:59,912 --> 01:30:01,845
It wouldn't...
it doesn't make any sense!
1820
01:30:01,847 --> 01:30:04,113
I do not dye my hair.
[ Whispering indistinctly ]
1821
01:30:04,115 --> 01:30:06,381
All right, you may
have heard about
my first guests.
1822
01:30:06,383 --> 01:30:08,816
They went from living
a quiet, peaceful life
1823
01:30:08,818 --> 01:30:10,484
in a small British farm town
1824
01:30:10,486 --> 01:30:12,586
to becoming
nude calendar girls.
1825
01:30:12,588 --> 01:30:14,387
They're here tonight
to tell us the story.
1826
01:30:14,389 --> 01:30:16,389
This is the calendar
right here.
1827
01:30:16,391 --> 01:30:18,691
Please welcome from Knapely,
England, the calendar girls.
1828
01:30:18,693 --> 01:30:20,059
Let's bring them out.
1829
01:30:20,061 --> 01:30:22,094
Sticking to the story.
Come on out here.
1830
01:30:22,096 --> 01:30:24,863
[ Cheers and applause ]
1831
01:30:24,865 --> 01:30:26,464
Hello, girls.
How are you?
1832
01:30:26,466 --> 01:30:28,966
How are you, girls?
Good to see you.
1833
01:30:28,968 --> 01:30:31,033
Nice to see you.
Have a seat.
1834
01:30:34,138 --> 01:30:36,505
Oh, just sit anywhere.
1835
01:30:36,507 --> 01:30:37,873
I'm curious...
1836
01:30:37,875 --> 01:30:39,608
have you girls been strippers
all your lives?
1837
01:30:39,610 --> 01:30:40,809
[ All laughing ]
1838
01:30:40,811 --> 01:30:42,710
We're not strippers.
1839
01:30:42,712 --> 01:30:44,645
Now, did you get drunk
beforehand?
1840
01:30:44,647 --> 01:30:46,880
No, no.
It's no big deal,
you know?
1841
01:30:46,882 --> 01:30:49,015
We've all got the same bits.
1842
01:30:49,017 --> 01:30:50,816
The same bits?
Yeah. Yeah.
1843
01:30:50,951 --> 01:30:52,817
Well, you know...
they're just different
sizes.
1844
01:30:52,819 --> 01:30:54,985
Right.
Can I have some of them
rice things?
1845
01:30:55,120 --> 01:30:57,653
They're all
strategically...
1846
01:30:57,655 --> 01:31:00,455
It's called Sushi.
I know.
We don't really show
anything at all.
1847
01:31:00,590 --> 01:31:02,990
It's all suggestive,
really, isn't it?
Hmm. Well, that's good.
1848
01:31:03,025 --> 01:31:05,558
I could make
a few suggestions, yeah.
1849
01:31:05,560 --> 01:31:07,860
[ Laughter ]
Well... well, ladies,
it's fascinating.
1850
01:31:07,862 --> 01:31:09,728
Good luck with your,
uh, with your work,
and then, please,
1851
01:31:09,730 --> 01:31:11,830
if you wouldn't just try
to encourage more women
1852
01:31:11,965 --> 01:31:14,532
to get naked, I think...
1853
01:31:14,534 --> 01:31:16,500
Well, thank you very much.
1854
01:31:16,502 --> 01:31:17,901
The ladies from Knapely,
ladies and gentlemen.
1855
01:31:17,903 --> 01:31:19,936
[ Cheers and applause
on television ]
1856
01:31:19,938 --> 01:31:22,538
Mmm! We do.
I think we really
do have to
1857
01:31:22,540 --> 01:31:24,172
work some kind of order out
1858
01:31:24,174 --> 01:31:26,335
when we're asked questions,
'cause far too much of that
1859
01:31:26,509 --> 01:31:28,842
you couldn't hear
what we said because...
I agree.
1860
01:31:28,844 --> 01:31:31,110
Annie?
1861
01:31:31,112 --> 01:31:32,811
Annie?
1862
01:31:34,080 --> 01:31:36,980
What are you doing?
1863
01:31:36,982 --> 01:31:38,881
You missed it.
1864
01:31:40,651 --> 01:31:42,117
We were just
on television...
1865
01:31:42,452 --> 01:31:44,185
the whole reason we came here.
1866
01:31:44,187 --> 01:31:46,987
I thought that was to get away
from the press.
1867
01:32:09,878 --> 01:32:11,544
Hello?
1868
01:32:12,980 --> 01:32:15,013
Hello?!
1869
01:32:16,082 --> 01:32:18,982
Is there anyone there?
1870
01:32:18,984 --> 01:32:21,117
[ Door closes ]
1871
01:32:23,020 --> 01:32:26,054
Ah! There they are!
1872
01:32:26,056 --> 01:32:28,723
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
1873
01:32:28,725 --> 01:32:32,026
Welcome, ladies.
How are we today?
1874
01:32:32,028 --> 01:32:33,060
Fine.
1875
01:32:33,062 --> 01:32:34,861
Fantastic.
Fabulenda.
1876
01:32:34,863 --> 01:32:37,463
My name is Danny.
I'm the director.
1877
01:32:37,598 --> 01:32:39,864
Hi, Danny.
And which one of you
is Chris?
1878
01:32:39,866 --> 01:32:42,199
Um...
You are.
You're Chris.
1879
01:32:42,201 --> 01:32:44,668
Yeah. Hi.
Ooh! Hi!
1880
01:32:44,670 --> 01:32:47,804
Exciting, hmm?
Yeah? Yeah?
Mm-hmm.
1881
01:32:47,806 --> 01:32:50,873
Okay, now, just to let you
know what I've done is...
1882
01:32:51,008 --> 01:32:54,109
have cleared the studio
of excess men.
1883
01:32:54,244 --> 01:32:55,943
[ Chuckling ] That's a shame.
1884
01:32:55,945 --> 01:32:57,678
No, no, I mean,
1885
01:32:57,680 --> 01:32:59,513
I didn't want you to be
walking around naked
1886
01:32:59,515 --> 01:33:01,715
in front of a bunch of guys
you didn't know.
1887
01:33:01,717 --> 01:33:03,616
Sorry?
1888
01:33:03,751 --> 01:33:06,017
We're doing the washing powder?
1889
01:33:06,019 --> 01:33:08,052
Right? Hanging
the washing on the line?
1890
01:33:08,054 --> 01:33:09,953
Mmm.
1891
01:33:09,955 --> 01:33:13,056
And naked behind.
1892
01:33:13,058 --> 01:33:15,992
I mean, there's not a problem
with that, is there?
1893
01:33:15,994 --> 01:33:19,495
[ Laughing ] It is what
you girls do, isn't it?
1894
01:33:21,832 --> 01:33:22,931
Yeah.
1895
01:33:22,933 --> 01:33:25,233
Yes. Great.
1896
01:33:25,235 --> 01:33:28,903
[ Man talking indistinctly ]
1897
01:33:33,709 --> 01:33:36,109
[ Indistinct conversations ]
1898
01:33:36,111 --> 01:33:39,011
[ Bell rings ]
1899
01:33:44,217 --> 01:33:46,217
No, no, no, not now.
I'm working.
1900
01:33:46,219 --> 01:33:48,185
Go, go, go.
1901
01:33:48,621 --> 01:33:50,287
Great! Beautiful!
1902
01:33:50,289 --> 01:33:52,822
I love this.
1903
01:33:54,692 --> 01:33:59,094
Ladies...
The time is now.
1904
01:34:01,832 --> 01:34:04,032
Roxanne, Carol,
hi, hi, hi, hi, hi.
1905
01:34:04,034 --> 01:34:05,366
Nice to see you.
1906
01:34:05,368 --> 01:34:07,267
Nice to see you.
What do you think?
1907
01:34:07,269 --> 01:34:09,736
It's looking great,
isn't it?
It's great.
1908
01:34:09,871 --> 01:34:11,937
[ Bell rings ]
Thank you very much.
1909
01:34:11,939 --> 01:34:14,706
Is your agency happy?
We are.
[ Door closes ]
1910
01:34:14,708 --> 01:34:16,708
Thank you.
1911
01:34:16,710 --> 01:34:18,109
Hey, lady...
What's going on?
1912
01:34:18,111 --> 01:34:19,276
Annie...
1913
01:34:19,278 --> 01:34:20,744
[ Thud ]
1914
01:34:20,746 --> 01:34:23,346
We'll be just a moment.
1915
01:34:23,348 --> 01:34:24,713
Annie...
1916
01:34:28,151 --> 01:34:29,750
Annie...
1917
01:34:29,752 --> 01:34:32,219
Now... now, Annie,
this is for the calendar.
1918
01:34:32,221 --> 01:34:33,853
We just do this, we...
1919
01:34:33,855 --> 01:34:35,988
we get the calendar out
in America.
1920
01:34:35,990 --> 01:34:37,923
[ Sighs ]
1921
01:34:37,925 --> 01:34:40,392
Look, are you... are you
gonna talk to me or...
1922
01:34:40,394 --> 01:34:42,093
I need a shower.
What?
1923
01:34:42,095 --> 01:34:43,761
Was it down here?
1924
01:34:43,763 --> 01:34:45,662
Look, why... why...
why...
I feel dirty.
1925
01:34:45,797 --> 01:34:47,730
Your washing powder
made me feel dirty.
1926
01:34:47,732 --> 01:34:49,765
Where's the dressing room?
My washing powder?
1927
01:34:49,767 --> 01:34:51,399
Down here.
[ Sighs ]
1928
01:34:52,969 --> 01:34:55,769
Oh, I get it.
I see.
1929
01:34:55,771 --> 01:34:58,071
This is 'cause
I've organized it, right?
1930
01:34:58,073 --> 01:35:01,707
Because I've made a success
o-of getting us a sponsor
1931
01:35:01,842 --> 01:35:03,875
and... a-and taken this
out of being...
1932
01:35:03,877 --> 01:35:05,343
well, we're not just
raising money
1933
01:35:05,345 --> 01:35:07,978
for... for a relative's room
anymore, are we?
1934
01:35:07,980 --> 01:35:09,379
Down here, was it?
We're out there taking on
the bloody disease.
1935
01:35:09,381 --> 01:35:11,180
The red light's on, Chris.
1936
01:35:11,182 --> 01:35:13,248
You can't stand it, can you?
1937
01:35:13,250 --> 01:35:16,985
You cannot stand that I've made
this calendar a success.
1938
01:35:16,987 --> 01:35:18,786
No, no, no. See, Chris,
what's happened
1939
01:35:18,788 --> 01:35:21,688
is this calendar's
made you a success.
1940
01:35:25,694 --> 01:35:27,193
What's that supposed to mean?
1941
01:35:27,195 --> 01:35:28,961
Where are we?
Annie?
1942
01:35:28,963 --> 01:35:30,929
What is that
supposed to mean?
Is this a studio?
1943
01:35:30,931 --> 01:35:33,031
Well, you don't ask me
what it means, Chris,
1944
01:35:33,033 --> 01:35:35,767
when you're standing in the
middle of a cardboard street
1945
01:35:35,769 --> 01:35:38,069
talking about meeting
George Clooney!
1946
01:35:38,071 --> 01:35:41,072
Well, what's with all these
letters, then, eh, Annie?
1947
01:35:41,074 --> 01:35:43,040
All this bloody
Florence nightingale,
1948
01:35:43,042 --> 01:35:44,441
this agony aunt?
1949
01:35:44,443 --> 01:35:47,343
Doesn't that smack just
a little bit of being a star?
1950
01:35:47,345 --> 01:35:49,878
You know, lots of people
lose their partners
1951
01:35:50,013 --> 01:35:51,513
to this disease.
1952
01:35:51,514 --> 01:35:53,014
I bet they don't all get
fan mail.
1953
01:35:53,016 --> 01:35:55,783
Doesn't that make you
a little bit of a success...
1954
01:35:55,785 --> 01:35:58,285
a very successful
bereaved woman?
1955
01:35:58,287 --> 01:36:00,854
A celebrity widow?
1956
01:36:00,856 --> 01:36:03,256
Saint Annie of Knapely?
1957
01:36:03,258 --> 01:36:04,257
Eh?
1958
01:36:04,259 --> 01:36:06,259
Eh?!
1959
01:36:06,261 --> 01:36:08,361
I'm not a Saint.
1960
01:36:08,363 --> 01:36:11,731
Because I'd rob every penny
from this calendar
1961
01:36:11,733 --> 01:36:15,167
if it would buy me
just one more hour with him.
1962
01:36:15,169 --> 01:36:17,202
[ Scoffs ]
1963
01:36:17,204 --> 01:36:19,304
You've still got yours.
1964
01:36:19,306 --> 01:36:22,473
[ Voice breaking ]
And you're in Hollywood.
1965
01:36:22,475 --> 01:36:24,942
[ Sobs ]
1966
01:37:27,105 --> 01:37:29,472
[ Engine whirring ]
1967
01:37:36,480 --> 01:37:39,380
Welcome home.
1968
01:37:39,382 --> 01:37:40,914
[ Birds chirping ]
1969
01:37:40,916 --> 01:37:42,048
Oh, well.
1970
01:37:42,050 --> 01:37:43,849
[ Chuckles ]
1971
01:37:43,851 --> 01:37:45,283
[ Women singing "Jerusalem"
in distance ]
1972
01:37:45,285 --> 01:37:48,052
Oh, lord!
It's Thursday!
1973
01:37:48,054 --> 01:37:49,119
Come on.
1974
01:37:49,121 --> 01:37:51,454
We've got to get in there.
1975
01:37:51,456 --> 01:37:53,155
Are you coming?
1976
01:37:53,157 --> 01:37:55,590
[ Women giggling ]
1977
01:38:11,040 --> 01:38:12,339
Hello, love.
1978
01:38:15,377 --> 01:38:18,077
♪ ...builded here ♪
1979
01:38:18,079 --> 01:38:24,282
♪ among these dark
satanic mills? ♪
1980
01:38:24,417 --> 01:38:27,584
♪ bring me my bow... ♪
1981
01:38:27,586 --> 01:38:28,851
oh!
1982
01:38:28,853 --> 01:38:31,286
♪ Of burning gold ♪
1983
01:38:31,288 --> 01:38:33,421
[ applause ]
1984
01:38:33,556 --> 01:38:35,856
[ Giggling ]
1985
01:38:35,858 --> 01:38:38,859
[ Indistinct conversations ]
1986
01:38:48,637 --> 01:38:50,269
[ Birds chirping ]
1987
01:38:50,271 --> 01:38:52,938
How's Jem?
1988
01:38:52,940 --> 01:38:55,040
He made a quiche on Tuesday.
1989
01:38:55,175 --> 01:38:57,241
We've been stoned ever since.
1990
01:39:01,280 --> 01:39:04,314
Don't worry, Chris.
He'll be all right.
1991
01:39:09,020 --> 01:39:11,320
Oh, rod, I'm...
1992
01:39:11,455 --> 01:39:12,587
I'm sorry.
1993
01:39:12,589 --> 01:39:14,188
Well, you don't have to
apologize.
1994
01:39:14,190 --> 01:39:16,256
I do...
I do have to apologize,
1995
01:39:16,258 --> 01:39:19,993
because everything
you said in the paper
was true, wasn't it?
1996
01:39:19,995 --> 01:39:22,028
I didn't know
he was a journalist.
1997
01:39:22,030 --> 01:39:24,930
This isn't the point.
1998
01:39:24,932 --> 01:39:26,464
I mean,
you still said it...
1999
01:39:26,466 --> 01:39:29,099
just, why didn't you
say it to me?
2000
01:39:29,101 --> 01:39:31,334
Y-you know, why didn't you
just... I don't know...
just... just shout out,
2001
01:39:31,336 --> 01:39:33,502
I mean, "what the bloody hell
do you think..."
2002
01:39:33,504 --> 01:39:35,670
yeah, I know you'd have
liked me to, but...
2003
01:39:35,672 --> 01:39:38,205
it'd probably suit your
Hollywood story a bit more
2004
01:39:38,207 --> 01:39:40,106
if I'd been
"no bloody wife of mine,"
2005
01:39:40,108 --> 01:39:43,109
but I've not,
because I actually think
2006
01:39:43,111 --> 01:39:45,010
it's brilliant
what you've done.
2007
01:39:46,446 --> 01:39:48,579
That's why I've stood
behind you
2008
01:39:48,581 --> 01:39:51,448
and I've told your son
to get over it and be proud,
2009
01:39:51,450 --> 01:39:54,651
because I actually wanted you
to have all this.
2010
01:39:59,056 --> 01:40:01,156
Thank you.
2011
01:40:01,158 --> 01:40:03,124
[ Inhales deeply ]
2012
01:40:03,126 --> 01:40:05,359
Now, do me a bloody favor...
get back in that hall
2013
01:40:05,361 --> 01:40:07,494
and sort out whatever's
gone wrong with Annie.
2014
01:40:07,496 --> 01:40:10,063
[ Sighs ]
2015
01:40:10,065 --> 01:40:12,331
I don't know
what to say to her.
2016
01:40:12,333 --> 01:40:14,399
She's your oldest friend,
Chris.
2017
01:40:14,401 --> 01:40:17,001
You don't have to say anything.
2018
01:40:21,207 --> 01:40:23,040
[ Indistinct conversations ]
2019
01:40:23,042 --> 01:40:24,408
Excuse me. Sorry.
2020
01:40:24,410 --> 01:40:26,710
Ladies... Ladies...
Would you, um... Oh...
2021
01:40:26,712 --> 01:40:29,363
Ladies, please!
2022
01:40:29,364 --> 01:40:32,015
[ Bell rings ]
Uh, since we've stopped...
as it happens,
2023
01:40:32,017 --> 01:40:35,651
today, we've finally been sent
the first figures
2024
01:40:35,653 --> 01:40:37,486
for the sales of our calendar.
2025
01:40:37,488 --> 01:40:39,588
Come on, may, where is it?
2026
01:40:39,723 --> 01:40:41,289
Right. Thank you.
2027
01:40:41,291 --> 01:40:43,324
It says here in this letter
2028
01:40:43,326 --> 01:40:48,328
from, uh...
Leukemia research fund
2029
01:40:48,330 --> 01:40:51,331
that we've so far raised...
2030
01:40:51,333 --> 01:40:56,302
£286,000.
2031
01:40:56,304 --> 01:40:58,003
[ Women gasp ]
2032
01:40:58,005 --> 01:41:00,205
So a big round of applause
to all of us
2033
01:41:00,340 --> 01:41:03,607
for making it such a success.
2034
01:41:04,610 --> 01:41:07,344
We can get that sofa
in the leather, then.
2035
01:41:07,346 --> 01:41:09,679
[ Indistinct conversations ]
2036
01:41:09,681 --> 01:41:13,015
[ "Jerusalem" plays on piano ]
2037
01:41:20,057 --> 01:41:26,427
♪ And did those feet
in ancient time ♪
2038
01:41:26,429 --> 01:41:28,362
♪ walk upon England’s... ♪
2039
01:41:28,364 --> 01:41:31,131
I've put our names down
for next month's speakers.
2040
01:41:33,001 --> 01:41:37,136
"Chris and Annie...
what we learned in Hollywood."
2041
01:41:37,138 --> 01:41:38,637
You're lying.
2042
01:41:38,639 --> 01:41:41,339
I know for a fact Colin Petley's
coming from Keighley
2043
01:41:41,341 --> 01:41:43,274
with his collection
of tea towels.
2044
01:41:43,276 --> 01:41:45,643
Oh, be still my beating heart.
2045
01:41:45,645 --> 01:41:48,012
[ Both laugh ]
2046
01:42:50,709 --> 01:42:52,775
Anyone fancy some chips?
2047
01:42:52,777 --> 01:42:55,244
Oh, yeah!
What a good idea.
2048
01:42:55,246 --> 01:42:57,279
My God, yes.
I'm starving!
2049
01:42:57,281 --> 01:43:00,315
[ Indistinct conversations ]
2050
01:43:23,339 --> 01:43:27,708
[ "Jerusalem" plays on piano ]
2051
01:43:27,710 --> 01:43:31,244
[ Mid-tempo jazz plays ]
2052
01:43:31,246 --> 01:43:34,380
[ Tempo quickens, handclaps ]
2053
01:45:11,812 --> 01:45:15,880
[ B.B. King's
"you upset me baby" plays ]
2054
01:45:41,940 --> 01:45:44,974
♪ Yeah, she's 36 in the bust ♪
2055
01:45:44,976 --> 01:45:46,909
♪ 28 in the waist ♪
2056
01:45:46,911 --> 01:45:48,510
♪ 44 in the hips ♪
2057
01:45:48,512 --> 01:45:51,546
♪ she's got a real crazy legs ♪
2058
01:45:51,548 --> 01:45:54,649
♪ you upsets me, baby ♪
2059
01:45:54,651 --> 01:45:58,786
♪ yes, you upsets me, baby ♪
2060
01:45:58,788 --> 01:46:02,689
♪ yes, I'm telling you people,
she's something fine ♪
2061
01:46:02,691 --> 01:46:04,924
♪ that you really
ought to see ♪
2062
01:46:06,961 --> 01:46:09,795
♪ well, she's not too tall ♪
2063
01:46:09,797 --> 01:46:11,863
♪ complexion is fair ♪
2064
01:46:11,865 --> 01:46:16,534
♪ man, she knocks me out
the way she wears her hair ♪
2065
01:46:16,536 --> 01:46:19,436
♪ you upsets me, baby ♪
2066
01:46:19,571 --> 01:46:23,506
♪ yes, you upsets me, baby ♪
2067
01:46:23,742 --> 01:46:27,510
♪ like being hit
by a falling tree, woman ♪
2068
01:46:27,612 --> 01:46:29,612
♪ woman, what you do to me ♪
2069
01:46:31,582 --> 01:46:34,783
♪ well, I've tried
to describe her ♪
2070
01:46:34,785 --> 01:46:36,651
♪ it's hard to start ♪
2071
01:46:36,653 --> 01:46:41,421
♪ I better stop now
because I got a weak heart ♪
2072
01:46:41,423 --> 01:46:43,890
♪ you upsets me ♪
2073
01:46:43,892 --> 01:46:48,160
♪ well, you upsets me, baby ♪
2074
01:46:48,162 --> 01:46:51,062
♪ well, like being hit
by a falling tree ♪
2075
01:46:51,064 --> 01:46:54,064
♪ woman, what you do to me ♪
2076
01:46:56,001 --> 01:46:57,567
♪ yeah ♪
2077
01:46:57,569 --> 01:47:00,636
[ electric guitar plays ]
2078
01:47:19,990 --> 01:47:23,791
[ Saxophone plays ]
2079
01:47:44,647 --> 01:47:47,981
♪ Well, I've tried
to describe her ♪
2080
01:47:47,983 --> 01:47:49,916
♪ it's hard to start ♪
2081
01:47:49,918 --> 01:47:52,035
♪ I better stop now ♪
2082
01:47:52,036 --> 01:47:54,153
♪ because I got
a very weak heart ♪
2083
01:47:54,155 --> 01:47:56,989
♪ you upsets me, baby ♪
2084
01:47:56,991 --> 01:48:01,526
♪ yes, you upsets me, baby ♪
2085
01:48:01,528 --> 01:48:04,896
♪ well, like being hit
by a falling tree ♪
2086
01:48:04,898 --> 01:48:06,964
♪ woman, what you do to me ♪
2087
01:48:06,966 --> 01:48:09,098
[ electric guitar plays ]
2088
01:48:12,069 --> 01:48:13,802
[ Music ends ]