1 00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:32,842 The legend of Sherlock Holmes 2 00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:35,595 begins on his first day of school. 3 00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:39,849 To us, he is the greatest detective of all time, 4 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:43,103 but back then, he was just... 5 00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:46,356 Well, the new kid. 6 00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:49,693 But, Mother, I don't need school. I've got books. 7 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,405 Sherlock. You need to be with other kids. 8 00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:56,741 Have friends, play games, kiss a girl. 9 00:01:57,492 --> 00:02:01,705 Open your heart, Sherlock, and the world will I open itself to you. 10 00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:03,999 All right, Mother. 11 00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:05,667 Everything will be fine. 12 00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:10,964 But things were not going to be fine. Not fine at all. 13 00:02:11,047 --> 00:02:13,466 Mother, as usual, was mistaken. 14 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:14,634 We can do this. 15 00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:17,887 Look, the new kid. 16 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,390 - He looks poor! - Hello. 17 00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:22,767 My name is Sherlock Holmes, and I'm looking forward 18 00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:24,036 to being friends with each and every one... 19 00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:25,812 - Get him! - What? 20 00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:30,483 School was not easy for Sherlock. He was picked on constantly. 21 00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:32,047 - They were relentless. - He's weird! 22 00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:35,030 What kind of stupid dog is this? 23 00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,489 No! 24 00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:44,080 As time passed, young Sherlock remained alone, 25 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,999 keeping mostly to himself. 26 00:02:46,082 --> 00:02:51,338 His spirits had dampened, but his heart was still alive. 27 00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:58,053 A beautiful girl has captured my heart. Her name is Bridgette. 28 00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:02,015 I am overcome with such true feelings and emotions. 29 00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:03,933 - She is the moon... - Hey, Sherlock. 30 00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:07,896 Look, Sherlock, we feel bad. We've been awfully naughty with you. 31 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,690 Would you I Ike to kiss Bridgette over there? 32 00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:12,150 She wants to kiss you. 33 00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:16,363 - How about it, Sherlock? - She wants to kiss me? 34 00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:18,156 She told me this morning. 35 00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:20,200 I should like that an awful lot. 36 00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:22,494 Put this on, then. 37 00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:24,079 A blindfold? 38 00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:25,997 This is how everyone kisses. 39 00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:29,376 Is it? Are you sure she wants to kiss me? 40 00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:30,960 'Course she does. 41 00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:33,463 She's really shy. 42 00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:39,260 Sherlock, how I've dreamed of this moment. 43 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,721 Now lean in for your kiss. 44 00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:58,113 He kissed a donkey's ass! 45 00:03:58,196 --> 00:03:59,447 Look at his face! 46 00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:02,951 - He's gonna cry, isn't he? - He likes you! 47 00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:04,828 Here comes the waterworks! 48 00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:07,455 Cry! Cry! Cry! 49 00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:10,208 Cry! Cry! Cry! 50 00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:12,293 His heart had betrayed him. 51 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,338 And so, from that day forward, 52 00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:18,091 he vowed he would lock away all feelings. 53 00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:22,345 He would become a thinking machine, 54 00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:24,931 an unfeeling automaton. 55 00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:28,601 What's he doing? 56 00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:31,438 He's un-crying? 57 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:38,736 Without the confusion of feelings, without emotions to distract him, 58 00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:41,364 he could devote his entire brain 59 00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:45,535 to solving crimes, his greatest passion. 60 00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:50,039 The ink on your right hand, that's the headmaster's brand of ink, 61 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:53,168 which means you went into his desk for the answers on his test. 62 00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:54,586 Expelled! 63 00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:58,673 And, Thulby, the dirt on your boots is freshly dried clay, 64 00:04:58,756 --> 00:05:02,010 - which means you snuck off the grounds. - Shite. 65 00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:03,219 Expel led! 66 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,805 And I smell alcohol on your breath, Jane. 67 00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:08,099 And, Seamus, you've got a bruise on your neck 68 00:05:08,183 --> 00:05:10,643 that fits the radius of a girl's mouth. 69 00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:11,728 But I'm In love. 70 00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:13,747 And those are tobacco stains on your fingers, Nancy. 71 00:05:13,771 --> 00:05:14,772 Expelled! 72 00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:16,441 And I shall have you all expelled! 73 00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:18,526 Expelled, expelled, expelled! 74 00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:26,284 The big kids can be jerks here. 75 00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:31,331 Judging by your smell of vinegar and sawdust, 76 00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:32,916 you are the janitor's son. 77 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,876 But someday, you're going to be a doctor. 78 00:05:34,959 --> 00:05:35,960 Really? 79 00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:39,088 It's elementary, my dear... What's your name? 80 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,716 - John Watson. - Sherlock Holmes. 81 00:05:41,799 --> 00:05:44,552 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go learn. 82 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:48,806 The Circumference of a cone is a direct ratio of the circular... 83 00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:52,977 And so every professor at the school dedicated themselves solely 84 00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:56,105 to teaching the young Sherlock Holmes. 85 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,608 Martin Luther's Reformation was actually the first... 86 00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:00,109 His mind was transformed 87 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:05,073 from an unrefined hunk of gold to a razor-sharp diamond. 88 00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:07,700 Square root of pi. 89 00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:09,536 1492. 90 00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:10,745 From the novel... 91 00:06:10,828 --> 00:06:13,957 Magnesium sulfate. Plato. 92 00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:18,711 - The fulcrum is insufficient. - Good answer. 93 00:06:19,295 --> 00:06:21,589 - Questions? - Next lesson. 94 00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:59,919 Extra! Extra! Read all about it! 95 00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:02,171 Moriarty's crime spree over! 96 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:05,925 Professor James Moriarty faces justice today! 97 00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:08,511 The Napoleon of crime on trial! 98 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,763 Greatest criminal in the empire! 99 00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:11,848 That's fake news. 100 00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:15,602 Stop this trial at once! 101 00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:21,190 I, Sherlock Holmes, have solved the case of Professor James Moriarty. 102 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,860 Wonderful. Wonderful, Holmes. 103 00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:26,738 A dramatic entrance worthy of your greatest achievement. 104 00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:32,076 Watson, did you notice my emphasis on "Professor James Moriarty"? 105 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,536 Yes, with the finger, yes. 106 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,163 - Much better than the hand. - Yes. 107 00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:38,249 Instead of the karate chop, I went to the Index finger. 108 00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:39,667 Yes, it's the best one yet. 109 00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:42,795 This is the moment everyone's been waiting for. Right here. 110 00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:45,965 Yes, and they're Literally waiting for it now. 111 00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:47,884 - Yes. - You must get dressed. 112 00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:48,968 - Yes? - Very well. 113 00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:50,803 There we are. There are your things. 114 00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:52,847 - Remember, trial of the century. - Yes. 115 00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:56,893 We have but... Let's see now. Just 16 minutes left, Holmes. 116 00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:00,063 Professor James Moriarty. 117 00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,815 You have been the organizer of half that is evil 118 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:06,152 and all that goes undetected In this great city. 119 00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:11,366 Today, you are charged with murder in the first degree, 120 00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:14,911 but Al I the witnesses have died. 121 00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:19,791 Without said witnesses, I have no choice but to set you free. 122 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,254 Inspector Lestrade, 123 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:28,424 you simply must take better care of your witnesses. 124 00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:33,221 Mark my words, 125 00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:35,765 Sherlock Holmes is on his way and, with him, 126 00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:38,851 the evidence that will damn you to the noose. 127 00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:42,772 Then we should all pray he arrives soon, for, on the strike of noon, 128 00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:45,191 I shall have to release this menace. 129 00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:46,526 Sherlock will be here. 130 00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:50,196 He is about to burst through those doors right now. 131 00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:58,329 - Nearly there? - Nearly there. 132 00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:01,416 A Sniff of morning cocaine always helps the brain. 133 00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:05,503 Come now, Sherlock. We mustn't let that trial conclude. 134 00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:09,006 For this occasion, I have selected a new hat. 135 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:12,719 From now on, when people utter the name "Sherlock Holmes," 136 00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:15,805 they will picture this. 137 00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:20,810 Brilliant. Can we go? 138 00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:23,271 Your furrowed brow betrays your lying lips. 139 00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:24,564 Oh, no. 140 00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:25,898 Not to worry. 141 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,277 Hey, there, cowboy. 142 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,255 - That's the one. That's the one. - Bang, bang. 143 00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:32,780 We should leave, yes? 144 00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:34,574 Aye, aye. 145 00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:36,325 I say, I like that one very much. 146 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,703 You don't want to be late, Mr. Holmes. 147 00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:41,998 Mrs. Hudson, what do you think of this one? 148 00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:46,169 Me? I'm just a housekeeper from the Glasgow slums. 149 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:49,881 The likes of me telling the likes of you what to put on his noggin? 150 00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:51,549 Good point. 151 00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,718 Back to your monkey work, Hudson. 152 00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:59,265 - Perfect, right? - May I show you a few more hats? 153 00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:01,476 - No! - Someone's left a wee box. 154 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:02,685 What are you going on about? 155 00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:07,023 I never even heard anyone knocking. Did you hear anything? 156 00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:08,399 How very queer. 157 00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:13,112 Queerer and queerer. 158 00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:15,531 Very odd. 159 00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:18,743 Watson, no. 160 00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,468 Holmes, why are you getting so exercised? 161 00:10:20,536 --> 00:10:22,705 It's merely an empty box. 162 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:27,251 Watson, this is sent from Moriarty. He means to kill us. 163 00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:28,377 Listen. 164 00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:31,756 Shut that window. 165 00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:34,592 If this winged menace escapes, it may cause a pandemic. 166 00:10:34,675 --> 00:10:35,968 A killer mosquito? 167 00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:38,095 The insect is infected with African plague. 168 00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,097 One bite means death. 169 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,809 Now, dance a Dutch jig. 170 00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:50,274 You don't have to ask me twice to do a Dutch jig, but why? 171 00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:53,069 Your body heat will attract him to dine on your flesh. 172 00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:54,153 Brilliant. 173 00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:56,864 Hold! Don't move. 174 00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,533 - Where is it? - Right there. 175 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,135 There. Right there on your forehead. 176 00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:02,286 - Kill it, Holmes. - I'm going to kill it. 177 00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:05,248 - There it is. - Where? 178 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,291 - Hold, hold. No, no. - Where? 179 00:11:09,418 --> 00:11:11,462 - No, hold, hold. - Is it biting? 180 00:11:13,589 --> 00:11:14,590 I hear it. 181 00:11:18,135 --> 00:11:19,136 I see it. 182 00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:22,473 The tip! 183 00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:24,559 Don't worry, boys. I brought a net. 184 00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:37,405 Upon the lowering of my gavel, 185 00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:40,032 the charges shall be dismissed. 186 00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:42,994 I shall raise my gavel in the air 187 00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:46,455 and then bring it down briskly, 188 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:49,625 making a satisfying bang, 189 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:54,005 at which point the prisoner shall go free. 190 00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:06,183 Angle of approach. 191 00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:08,227 Compensate for warp in floor. 192 00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:10,897 Count for resistance due to dust motes. 193 00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:14,275 Probable outcome, termination of mosquito. 194 00:12:14,358 --> 00:12:16,944 Integrity of bee habitat maintained. 195 00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:19,488 Deadly bee swarm averted. 196 00:12:24,493 --> 00:12:27,413 The mosquito's vanquished. Well done, Holmes. 197 00:12:27,496 --> 00:12:31,250 It's a simple matter of geometry, entomology and physics. 198 00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:38,507 - Oh, my God! - Shit. 199 00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:43,179 Watson! Stop panicking! We can disable the queen. 200 00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:45,014 It's making them angry, Holmes! 201 00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:46,807 Oh, my God. What are they doing? 202 00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,392 They're turning this way! 203 00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:51,103 Just do anything! Help me! 204 00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:54,231 It's working! 205 00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:55,900 It's not working! 206 00:12:55,983 --> 00:12:57,985 - Get it off! - It's not working! 207 00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:01,238 Holmes, we retreat. 208 00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:03,783 Run for safety. I'll lead them away. 209 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,682 Stop this trial! 210 00:13:36,691 --> 00:13:40,444 May I present to you the greatest detective of all time, 211 00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:44,281 solver of the unsolvable, untier of Gordian knots, 212 00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:49,495 bester of conundrums, the great Sherlock Holmes. 213 00:13:51,163 --> 00:13:53,874 Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! 214 00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:56,752 Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! 215 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:59,255 Stop this trial at once! 216 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:07,138 Thank goodness you've arrived, Mr. Holmes. 217 00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:10,641 Now, what startling new evidence do you have for the court? 218 00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:12,018 I am the evidence. 219 00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:18,190 I recall the day vividly. I arrived at the crime scene alone. 220 00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:21,235 Completely and utterly alone. 221 00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:26,615 I meticulously inspected every nook and cranny of that study, 222 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:31,787 hunting for clues, much like a panther stalks its prey. 223 00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:42,173 And as I stood there, I began to employ a groundbreaking new technique. 224 00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:43,883 Right there. 225 00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:45,843 Behold! Fingerprints. 226 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:50,681 Imagine a print being taken from a finger. 227 00:14:51,348 --> 00:14:52,558 I love it. 228 00:14:52,641 --> 00:14:55,186 How do these prove Moriarty's guilt? 229 00:14:58,939 --> 00:15:00,024 Watson. 230 00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:04,028 Moriarty would never leave a trail of clues, 231 00:15:04,111 --> 00:15:05,821 which begs the question, 232 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,615 why was this crime scene 233 00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:11,452 so uncharacteristically littered with fingerprints? 234 00:15:11,535 --> 00:15:12,828 Good work, Watson. 235 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,556 Thank you. I just thought of what you might have done. 236 00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:19,668 I compared these prints to those of the man standing before you. 237 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,253 A perfect match. 238 00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:24,673 Unequivocal proof that this man 239 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,009 - is innocent. - What? 240 00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:30,888 But if those are Moriarty's prints, then Moriarty is the murderer. 241 00:15:30,971 --> 00:15:33,390 This man is not Moriarty. 242 00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:35,226 He sure looks like Moriarty. 243 00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:39,146 He's an impostor. His name is Jacob Musgrave. 244 00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:41,607 A complete look-alike, a doppelgänger. 245 00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:45,736 A patsy framed to hang for Moriarty's crimes, 246 00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:48,614 so that I may abandon my pursuit of him 247 00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:51,408 and he can begin life anew in America. 248 00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:55,162 Why would an innocent man agree to hang for Moriarty's crimes? 249 00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:58,415 Elementary. This man is terminally ill. 250 00:15:58,874 --> 00:16:01,627 Look at him. His pallid complexion. 251 00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:03,963 The palsy in his left hand. 252 00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:05,798 Wait. I know. He's an onanist. 253 00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:09,009 Yes, of the most enthusiastic kind. 254 00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:10,553 What's an onanist? 255 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,346 He... Let's see. 256 00:16:12,429 --> 00:16:14,932 He pours his own tea. 257 00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:20,729 He likes to create his own sauce. 258 00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:23,440 He is a saucier. 259 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:27,611 And the name of his restaurant is Crotch Kitchen. 260 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:31,198 On a daily basis, he creams his own éclair. 261 00:16:31,282 --> 00:16:35,411 He is Romeo and Juliet. 262 00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:36,745 That should do it. 263 00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:40,249 - This here. - He's a wanker. 264 00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:41,417 Thank you. 265 00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,002 Sorry, ladies. 266 00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:46,755 This chap here had nothing to lose by being executed. 267 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:49,550 He was literally dying by his own hand. 268 00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:51,844 It causes death, you see. 269 00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:55,306 The infallible Sherlock Holmes has indeed spoken. 270 00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:58,893 In light of his testimony, I order the release of the suspect. 271 00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:03,898 What? This is an outrage! Do not let this murderer free. 272 00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:08,068 Bang, bang, bang! Court is adjourned. 273 00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:10,196 Sherlock Holmes has done it again! 274 00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:15,409 Why are you cheering? 275 00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:17,620 Sherlock! 276 00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:21,165 Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! 277 00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:22,666 That couldn't have gone better. 278 00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,043 It couldn't have. 279 00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:25,562 And I tell you, that case was rather... 280 00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:28,380 It took us three years to catch him. 281 00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:31,050 If we release him now, we may never find him again. 282 00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,969 Put aside your ego and admit I am right. 283 00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:37,723 I am afraid Moriarty's long gone to America. 284 00:17:38,682 --> 00:17:41,560 Whatever crimes Moriarty commits from now on 285 00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:42,978 are on your head. 286 00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:47,233 I quite like seeing Lestrade upset. 287 00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:48,901 Yeah. I do, too. 288 00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:57,368 Professor James Moriarty fled to the Americas 289 00:17:57,451 --> 00:18:03,499 and would never darken England again. 290 00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:10,756 Holmes. 291 00:18:11,548 --> 00:18:12,925 Are you upset? 292 00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:15,469 It's just that Moriarty was the whetstone 293 00:18:15,552 --> 00:18:17,680 upon which I sharpened my mental blade. 294 00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:21,225 With him gone, not there to challenge me, why go on? 295 00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:25,020 Instead, I shall occupy my great, great mind 296 00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,398 with nutritional science. 297 00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:28,899 My research suggests 298 00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:31,568 that the sulfurous compounds of the common onion 299 00:18:31,735 --> 00:18:33,904 can increase your red blood cells. 300 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,614 Vital for human health. 301 00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:38,492 Just bite it like an apple, eh? 302 00:18:42,913 --> 00:18:44,957 Definitely takes four or five bites. 303 00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:49,670 Are we meant to eat the whole thing? 304 00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:50,963 The whole thing. 305 00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:55,092 Let the juice slither down the back of your throat. 306 00:18:58,220 --> 00:18:59,555 Congratulations, Holmes. 307 00:19:00,431 --> 00:19:02,558 You're not only the smartest man in London, 308 00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:04,685 you shall soon be the healthiest. 309 00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:05,894 Indeed. 310 00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:09,940 Now, where's my opium? 311 00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:12,818 Mrs. Hudson! 312 00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:14,987 - Hudson! - Hudson! 313 00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,071 Help! 314 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,574 Hudson, Watson has stuck a carrot up my bum! 315 00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:19,908 Hudson, help! 316 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,994 - Fire! Fire! - Call the police! 317 00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:23,704 Hudson, your mother has died! 318 00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:25,581 You brain-dead bag of bones! 319 00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:28,584 - Hudson! - Hudson! 320 00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:29,710 Hudson! 321 00:19:29,793 --> 00:19:31,003 Hudson, where are you? 322 00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:34,923 Did you not hear any of that? 323 00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:36,884 - We screamed "fire." - Where? 324 00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:38,594 And we were screaming your name. 325 00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:40,179 You were just there in my bedroom? 326 00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,186 - Shut up. - Come on. 327 00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:51,148 No wonder my room always smells I Ike fish pie and swamp. 328 00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,695 This came for you. 329 00:19:58,405 --> 00:20:01,658 Sealed by hands unused to manual labor. 330 00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:08,457 Saliva from a protein-rich diet of chicken kidneys. 331 00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:11,001 Why, Watson, it's from the Queen. 332 00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:14,880 Seems Her Majesty requests my services. 333 00:20:14,963 --> 00:20:17,841 A crime that has baffled even her closest advisors, 334 00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:20,761 and only my singular intellect can solve it. 335 00:20:20,844 --> 00:20:22,137 Well, well, well, 336 00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:24,264 look who's back in the game. 337 00:20:26,141 --> 00:20:27,476 Watson, are you Al I right? 338 00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:29,353 I'm just very nervous. 339 00:20:29,436 --> 00:20:31,313 I've not met the Queen before. 340 00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:38,028 - Deep breath. - Your Majesty, 341 00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:40,155 Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson. 342 00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:44,743 My God, it's really her. 343 00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:55,379 Watson. 344 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:57,423 Say something. 345 00:20:58,841 --> 00:21:00,008 I love you. 346 00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:03,429 I know I am duty-bound to serve you, 347 00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:05,073 but let me just say, on a personal note, 348 00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:06,574 - I really like you. - Stop touching her. 349 00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:07,850 Just as a fan. 350 00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:09,768 Please, Sir. 351 00:21:09,852 --> 00:21:10,936 Don't touch the Queen. 352 00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:13,772 Quite right. 353 00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,607 Sorry, Your Majesty. 354 00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:17,359 You look a lot smaller in person. 355 00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:21,238 - Just stop. Just stop. - Sorry. It's true. 356 00:21:21,321 --> 00:21:22,531 Just stop talking. 357 00:21:22,614 --> 00:21:23,907 - Yes. - Stop talking. 358 00:21:25,033 --> 00:21:26,285 I'm crazy about your look. 359 00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:27,744 What did I say? 360 00:21:28,078 --> 00:21:30,038 - Am I still talking out loud? - You are. You are. 361 00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:32,583 - It's just the Queen. - Yes. 362 00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:35,210 - Okay? - Okay. 363 00:21:35,377 --> 00:21:36,378 Your Majesty, 364 00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:39,756 how may we be of service to the realm? 365 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,758 Mr. Holmes, pray follow us. 366 00:21:42,050 --> 00:21:43,927 There is danger about. 367 00:21:46,054 --> 00:21:47,473 What a looker, right? 368 00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:49,308 She is Stunning in person. 369 00:21:51,935 --> 00:21:53,187 Fear not, Your Majesty, 370 00:21:53,270 --> 00:21:56,148 Sherlock will allow no harm to come to you, and neither will I. 371 00:21:56,231 --> 00:21:59,443 Five, four, three, 372 00:21:59,526 --> 00:22:01,278 two, one. 373 00:22:01,361 --> 00:22:02,905 Surprise! 374 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,073 Thank you. Thank you. 375 00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:08,118 Had I been a non-genius such as yourselves, 376 00:22:08,202 --> 00:22:11,371 there's a 72% chance I would have been surprised. 377 00:22:11,872 --> 00:22:13,373 72%. 378 00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:17,211 Happy birthday, Sherlock Holmes. 379 00:22:17,294 --> 00:22:20,506 We wish you well and thank you for your many years... 380 00:22:21,465 --> 00:22:24,092 Your many years of public service. 381 00:22:27,554 --> 00:22:29,181 - So, Holmes. - Yes. 382 00:22:29,264 --> 00:22:30,265 When did you know? 383 00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:31,433 Tuesday. 384 00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:32,851 Really? 385 00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:35,270 You were seven minutes late coming home. 386 00:22:36,104 --> 00:22:39,775 Stopped at the stationer's, confirmed by the scent of paper mulch. 387 00:22:39,858 --> 00:22:41,252 You have the nose of a bloodhound. 388 00:22:41,276 --> 00:22:43,779 Your mustache betrayed a dusting of crumbs. 389 00:22:44,363 --> 00:22:46,448 Evidence of cake sampling. 390 00:22:47,157 --> 00:22:48,492 Guilty. 391 00:22:48,659 --> 00:22:52,037 And you purchased a case of pre-phylloxera champagne. 392 00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:55,916 You lack the self-esteem to buy yourself such an extravagant bottle. 393 00:22:55,999 --> 00:22:57,251 It's true. 394 00:22:58,126 --> 00:22:59,836 I don't deserve nice things. 395 00:23:15,185 --> 00:23:16,395 Bravo. 396 00:23:17,688 --> 00:23:19,064 Thank you. 397 00:23:19,147 --> 00:23:20,691 That was delightful. 398 00:23:21,567 --> 00:23:22,943 A layer cake. 399 00:23:23,026 --> 00:23:25,070 It's shaped like a magnifying glass. 400 00:23:25,153 --> 00:23:26,154 Yes! 401 00:23:29,616 --> 00:23:31,952 The second layer is rather thick. 402 00:23:34,121 --> 00:23:36,540 There must be a few nuts in there. If I may. 403 00:23:36,623 --> 00:23:38,834 - Would you mind? - Here. Yes, of course. 404 00:23:40,794 --> 00:23:42,063 Do you see what I'm talking about? 405 00:23:42,087 --> 00:23:43,505 - Yes. - Yes. 406 00:23:44,381 --> 00:23:45,632 Raspberry jam. 407 00:23:46,300 --> 00:23:47,634 My weakness. 408 00:23:47,718 --> 00:23:48,885 I know what I need. 409 00:23:50,012 --> 00:23:51,513 What the... He's getting an ax! 410 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:53,098 - Brilliant. - Charge! 411 00:23:56,643 --> 00:23:59,187 Stand back. Back, everyone, I say. 412 00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:01,732 A murder in Buckingham Palace. 413 00:24:01,815 --> 00:24:03,317 Look, a note. There. 414 00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:06,445 Right under your nose. 415 00:24:12,576 --> 00:24:14,578 "A birthday present for you, Sherlock. 416 00:24:14,745 --> 00:24:16,997 "A crime to challenge your wits. 417 00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:18,957 "Stop me in four days' time, 418 00:24:19,041 --> 00:24:21,752 "or I will destroy London's greatest marvel and kill the Queen, 419 00:24:21,835 --> 00:24:24,254 "and I will rewrite history." 420 00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:26,882 Signed "Professor James Moriarty." 421 00:24:28,550 --> 00:24:30,218 This is Jimmy Gruber, 422 00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:31,845 the witness who disappeared, 423 00:24:31,928 --> 00:24:34,431 whose testimony prompted Moriarty's arrest 424 00:24:34,514 --> 00:24:37,059 and whom Moriarty swore to kill. 425 00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:38,518 And your conclusion? 426 00:24:41,229 --> 00:24:45,150 That Moriarty has killed again, as I predicted. 427 00:24:46,234 --> 00:24:47,736 The most obvious conclusion. 428 00:24:49,404 --> 00:24:51,156 No, this is definitely the work 429 00:24:51,239 --> 00:24:53,950 of someone who is going to extraordinary lengths 430 00:24:54,034 --> 00:24:56,828 to make it appear as if Moriarty committed these crimes. 431 00:24:56,912 --> 00:24:58,872 - Sherlock Holmes. - The Queen. 432 00:25:00,624 --> 00:25:04,044 We charge you with the task of stopping this criminal 433 00:25:04,127 --> 00:25:05,545 before he can do us harm. 434 00:25:06,213 --> 00:25:09,758 Solve this case on behalf of your queen and country. 435 00:25:09,841 --> 00:25:10,967 - I will. - We will. 436 00:25:11,051 --> 00:25:12,052 But, Your Majesty... 437 00:25:12,135 --> 00:25:14,971 Sherlock Holmes has never failed us. 438 00:25:15,138 --> 00:25:17,140 The bold I ingenuity of this crime 439 00:25:17,224 --> 00:25:21,186 calls me back to the profession of detecting like a siren song. 440 00:25:21,269 --> 00:25:22,938 I won't let anyone hurt you. 441 00:25:23,021 --> 00:25:24,981 Watson. To the morgue. 442 00:25:25,065 --> 00:25:27,484 Lestrade, clean this mess up now. 443 00:25:27,567 --> 00:25:29,986 - The game is a-starting. - Yeah. 444 00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:37,202 Who is this copycat pretending to be Moriarty? 445 00:25:37,619 --> 00:25:40,080 Finally, a problem worthy of my brain. 446 00:25:40,163 --> 00:25:41,915 This birthday cake is delicious. 447 00:25:41,998 --> 00:25:43,333 Did you get a chance to try it? 448 00:25:43,417 --> 00:25:45,001 No, there was a corpse in it. 449 00:25:49,423 --> 00:25:50,424 Watson? 450 00:25:51,925 --> 00:25:53,468 Oh, my goodness. 451 00:25:55,470 --> 00:25:56,471 Finders keepers. 452 00:25:56,555 --> 00:25:57,806 Yeah. 453 00:25:59,015 --> 00:26:00,827 Are you sure you wouldn't rather wait out here? 454 00:26:00,851 --> 00:26:02,453 The last ti me you were In the morgue, you... 455 00:26:02,477 --> 00:26:06,565 Watson, I am a man of stout constitution. 456 00:26:06,648 --> 00:26:09,526 Yes, of course. I just thought, after the last ti me, 457 00:26:09,609 --> 00:26:10,986 with the... 458 00:26:11,737 --> 00:26:13,155 And the... 459 00:26:13,905 --> 00:26:16,032 Merely a bout of stomach influenza. 460 00:26:16,116 --> 00:26:17,409 Yes, but the time before that? 461 00:26:17,492 --> 00:26:19,745 - Bad clams. - And before that? 462 00:26:19,828 --> 00:26:21,455 I shook hands with a prostitute. 463 00:26:21,538 --> 00:26:22,748 Yes. 464 00:26:23,540 --> 00:26:26,376 No, no. Put that away. 465 00:26:26,501 --> 00:26:31,506 I'm not some vaporous, giggling, fainting maiden who... 466 00:26:37,971 --> 00:26:39,389 Oh, ye of little... 467 00:26:43,101 --> 00:26:44,301 It's nothing to be ashamed of. 468 00:26:45,312 --> 00:26:47,355 I think I'm starting to feel a bit... 469 00:26:47,439 --> 00:26:48,482 I wouldn't... 470 00:26:48,565 --> 00:26:50,442 - Are you... - No, no, I'm fine. I'm fine. 471 00:26:50,525 --> 00:26:53,236 'Cause if you start to feel sick, then I'll start to feel... 472 00:26:58,366 --> 00:27:00,535 - Surely, I must be done. - Yes. 473 00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:02,788 Next to impossible to still... 474 00:27:10,212 --> 00:27:11,338 There you are. 475 00:27:11,713 --> 00:27:13,548 - All done. - Yes, there. 476 00:27:14,716 --> 00:27:16,716 - Would you like some water? - Did you say water... 477 00:27:17,594 --> 00:27:18,804 Sorry. I'm sorry. 478 00:27:19,596 --> 00:27:21,181 Shall we begin the autopsy? 479 00:27:21,848 --> 00:27:23,975 Thank goodness these cleaning women are here 480 00:27:24,059 --> 00:27:25,286 to clean up this dreadful mess. 481 00:27:25,310 --> 00:27:26,436 Someone's made sick. 482 00:27:27,103 --> 00:27:29,523 My dear Watson, these women 483 00:27:29,606 --> 00:27:31,406 are far too well-dressed to be cleaning women. 484 00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:35,445 They're here to identify their well-to-do husbands' bodies. 485 00:27:35,612 --> 00:27:36,988 Sorry for your loss. 486 00:27:37,155 --> 00:27:39,491 Thank you, but I am the doctor. 487 00:27:39,658 --> 00:27:42,994 Look, Watson, grief has scrambled her brain. 488 00:27:43,078 --> 00:27:44,955 She thinks she's a doctor. 489 00:27:45,038 --> 00:27:48,250 Fortunately, Miss, there's a real doctor here 490 00:27:48,333 --> 00:27:49,543 who may help you. 491 00:27:49,876 --> 00:27:51,127 Would you like some heroin? 492 00:27:51,586 --> 00:27:53,672 Dr. Watson, I presume. 493 00:27:53,755 --> 00:27:55,966 And you must be Sherlock Holmes. 494 00:27:56,049 --> 00:27:58,093 Dr. Grace Hart of Boston. 495 00:27:58,802 --> 00:28:00,470 A woman doctor? 496 00:28:00,554 --> 00:28:02,973 - What times we live in. - Yes. 497 00:28:03,390 --> 00:28:05,851 In America, we're much more progressive. 498 00:28:05,934 --> 00:28:08,728 I now make 30 cents for every dollar a man earns. 499 00:28:08,812 --> 00:28:11,439 What does "doctor" mean in America? 500 00:28:11,523 --> 00:28:13,275 It means "doctor." 501 00:28:13,358 --> 00:28:15,318 You're Dr. G. Hart? 502 00:28:15,402 --> 00:28:17,112 - Of Boston? - Yes. 503 00:28:17,279 --> 00:28:19,823 Holmes, we're in the presence of a pioneer. 504 00:28:19,906 --> 00:28:22,617 Dr. Hart's work with the use of electroshock therapy 505 00:28:22,701 --> 00:28:24,995 to cure female hysteria is groundbreaking. 506 00:28:25,078 --> 00:28:28,999 Yes, I proved the higher the voltage, the more demons are released. 507 00:28:29,082 --> 00:28:30,250 Well, of course. 508 00:28:30,333 --> 00:28:32,335 Some of my patients live as long as a week. 509 00:28:32,419 --> 00:28:35,005 "Doctor"? Spelled D-O-C-T-O-R? 510 00:28:35,088 --> 00:28:36,631 Yes. 511 00:28:37,090 --> 00:28:38,925 This is my aide, Millicent. 512 00:28:39,509 --> 00:28:42,637 She's very shy, but a wonderful traveling companion. 513 00:28:43,388 --> 00:28:46,016 Shall we proceed to the examination? 514 00:28:46,683 --> 00:28:48,685 - Please. - Our cadaver awaits. 515 00:28:50,770 --> 00:28:52,147 No, no, no. 516 00:28:52,230 --> 00:28:53,565 Here. 517 00:28:54,274 --> 00:28:56,109 Mr. Holmes, you look rather unwell. 518 00:28:56,192 --> 00:28:59,487 Perhaps you would rather stay here and keep Millicent company. 519 00:29:02,657 --> 00:29:03,909 Sherlock Holmes. 520 00:29:03,992 --> 00:29:05,285 Charmed to meet... 521 00:29:07,621 --> 00:29:08,705 To meet you. 522 00:29:09,414 --> 00:29:11,583 Millicent is the subject of my research. 523 00:29:11,666 --> 00:29:13,752 She was raised by feral cats. 524 00:29:13,835 --> 00:29:16,004 She has the mental capacity of a four-year-old, 525 00:29:16,087 --> 00:29:19,174 but it is my belief that, with sufficient electroshock therapy, 526 00:29:19,257 --> 00:29:22,093 she can achieve the intellect of a six-year-old. 527 00:29:22,177 --> 00:29:24,179 We are truly In the golden age of medicine. 528 00:29:24,262 --> 00:29:25,805 There's nothing left to learn. 529 00:29:25,889 --> 00:29:26,890 No. 530 00:29:28,850 --> 00:29:30,435 What a creature you are. 531 00:29:41,321 --> 00:29:44,407 You're devouring that onion with such passion. 532 00:29:47,494 --> 00:29:48,995 It's strangely arousing. 533 00:29:50,580 --> 00:29:52,332 Dr. Watson, I have always been taken 534 00:29:52,415 --> 00:29:55,335 by your unwavering devotion to Mr. Holmes, 535 00:29:55,418 --> 00:29:58,880 but haven't you ever considered something more? 536 00:30:00,048 --> 00:30:02,509 Perhaps a co-detective? 537 00:30:04,719 --> 00:30:06,388 He and I? 538 00:30:06,471 --> 00:30:07,597 Co-detectives? 539 00:30:07,681 --> 00:30:08,682 Yes. 540 00:30:09,099 --> 00:30:10,600 The very idea! 541 00:30:11,768 --> 00:30:13,395 Solving crimes together? 542 00:30:14,604 --> 00:30:16,856 Laughing and enjoying the esprit de corps 543 00:30:16,940 --> 00:30:19,609 of two best friends Pursuing a noble cause! 544 00:30:19,693 --> 00:30:21,236 Madness. No, dear. 545 00:30:21,319 --> 00:30:23,780 No. No, not I. 546 00:30:25,073 --> 00:30:26,408 Not here. 547 00:30:27,283 --> 00:30:31,496 Not even in my most rapturous moments of private fantasy. 548 00:30:37,377 --> 00:30:40,922 Anyway, let's go clean this cake-covered bastard, shall we? 549 00:30:44,801 --> 00:30:46,761 The wonders of modern medicine. 550 00:30:50,807 --> 00:30:53,143 Now, you're going to laugh, 551 00:30:53,226 --> 00:30:55,437 but I found the most important tool of an autopsy is... 552 00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:56,604 Music. 553 00:30:58,023 --> 00:30:59,274 Yes. 554 00:30:59,357 --> 00:31:00,400 You, too? 555 00:31:10,285 --> 00:31:12,245 This one always gets me in the mood. 556 00:31:14,581 --> 00:31:16,291 So begins the dance. 557 00:31:25,717 --> 00:31:27,385 You have some dribble. 558 00:31:27,469 --> 00:31:29,262 Just a touch of dribble right... 559 00:31:40,774 --> 00:31:45,195 There is something so sensual about forensic autopsy, isn't there? 560 00:32:08,676 --> 00:32:10,136 You are a Delight. 561 00:32:10,595 --> 00:32:13,473 Your eyes say more than words ever could. 562 00:32:18,937 --> 00:32:22,941 The tincture of ammonia and scrotum. 563 00:32:23,399 --> 00:32:25,318 Hello, Inspector Lestrade. 564 00:32:27,529 --> 00:32:29,114 We have combed the manifests 565 00:32:29,197 --> 00:32:32,075 of every ship to set sail for the Americas 566 00:32:32,158 --> 00:32:35,286 and found not a single Moriarty. 567 00:32:35,370 --> 00:32:38,540 Moriarty's too cunning to use his own name. 568 00:32:38,623 --> 00:32:40,291 He's sailing under an alias. 569 00:32:41,334 --> 00:32:42,418 Here we are. 570 00:32:42,502 --> 00:32:44,754 So, after a thorough... 571 00:32:44,921 --> 00:32:46,297 Very thorough. 572 00:32:48,216 --> 00:32:49,968 - Stop. - No, you stop. 573 00:32:51,010 --> 00:32:53,012 Examination of the body... 574 00:32:53,096 --> 00:32:57,642 And I must say, Dr. Hart made some beautiful lateral incisions there. 575 00:32:57,725 --> 00:33:02,814 No, watching you flay the skin from his face so gently! 576 00:33:02,897 --> 00:33:05,233 - I would flay 1,000 faces for you. - And the way... 577 00:33:05,316 --> 00:33:06,818 Just tell me what you found! 578 00:33:07,318 --> 00:33:09,028 Yes. 579 00:33:09,112 --> 00:33:10,697 Cause of death indeterminate. 580 00:33:10,780 --> 00:33:12,115 Indeterminate? 581 00:33:12,198 --> 00:33:13,491 What do you mean? 582 00:33:13,575 --> 00:33:15,118 It means he doesn't know. 583 00:33:15,994 --> 00:33:17,412 - Proceed, Watson. - Yes. 584 00:33:17,829 --> 00:33:21,875 We found a freshly applied tattoo of a cross 585 00:33:21,958 --> 00:33:24,294 and the numbers one and 20. 586 00:33:24,794 --> 00:33:26,629 I have the oddest feeling. 587 00:33:27,046 --> 00:33:29,299 It's like knowing, but the opposite. 588 00:33:29,465 --> 00:33:30,925 Meaning you haven't a clue. 589 00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:34,470 Who is this genius pretender who's taken Moriarty's place, 590 00:33:34,554 --> 00:33:37,098 committing crimes exactly the way he would? 591 00:33:38,808 --> 00:33:40,768 A fantastic new case. 592 00:33:40,852 --> 00:33:43,104 I'm aroused both mentally and physically. 593 00:33:43,188 --> 00:33:46,900 I was wondering, rather than working beside you on this case, 594 00:33:46,983 --> 00:33:49,611 I might work with you as a sort of... 595 00:33:49,861 --> 00:33:51,613 Grace cal led it a "co-detective." 596 00:33:52,071 --> 00:33:55,992 One cannot simply just make someone a detective. 597 00:33:56,075 --> 00:33:57,410 It must be earned. 598 00:33:57,493 --> 00:33:59,954 Well, I deduced you might say that, 599 00:34:00,038 --> 00:34:04,876 which is why, when we arrive home, I propose a game of chess. 600 00:34:05,668 --> 00:34:07,128 If I should best you, 601 00:34:07,212 --> 00:34:09,172 then surely I possess the mental power... 602 00:34:09,255 --> 00:34:11,716 Checkmate! Checkmate. 603 00:34:11,799 --> 00:34:14,010 What? We haven't started yet. 604 00:34:14,302 --> 00:34:16,102 You would have opened with the Queen's Gambit. 605 00:34:16,471 --> 00:34:18,181 Indeed. A reliable first move. 606 00:34:18,264 --> 00:34:19,944 I would have countered with a Slav Defense. 607 00:34:20,725 --> 00:34:22,810 An audacious move. Quite unexpected. 608 00:34:22,894 --> 00:34:25,355 You would have panicked, thus exposing your queen. 609 00:34:25,438 --> 00:34:26,439 No, not my queen! 610 00:34:26,522 --> 00:34:30,026 Seeing your queen exposed would have compelled you to defend her. 611 00:34:30,109 --> 00:34:33,071 Indeed. It is my duty in chess as in life. 612 00:34:33,154 --> 00:34:35,198 Thereby neglecting my castle. 613 00:34:37,408 --> 00:34:38,618 Checkmate. 614 00:34:39,911 --> 00:34:41,204 Perhaps another game? 615 00:34:41,287 --> 00:34:43,122 Rock-paper-scissors. 616 00:34:43,206 --> 00:34:45,625 Rock, rock, paper, paper, scissors, paper, 617 00:34:45,708 --> 00:34:47,794 rock, scissors, paper, rock. 618 00:34:48,670 --> 00:34:49,671 Dash it Al I! 619 00:34:49,754 --> 00:34:51,047 What about Battleship? 620 00:34:51,214 --> 00:34:53,800 D-3, E-3, F-3, and G-3. 621 00:34:53,883 --> 00:34:56,052 Damn it, you've sunk my battleship. 622 00:34:56,135 --> 00:34:57,971 You're a good man, Watson, 623 00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:00,139 but you're not ready. 624 00:35:01,432 --> 00:35:02,684 But why? 625 00:35:02,767 --> 00:35:05,061 If you were ready, you'd know why. 626 00:35:15,863 --> 00:35:17,448 Let the game begin. 627 00:35:18,032 --> 00:35:19,534 A piece for a piece. 628 00:35:20,285 --> 00:35:21,828 Two can play at that game. 629 00:35:45,268 --> 00:35:46,394 Peekaboo. 630 00:35:50,565 --> 00:35:51,649 Checkmate. 631 00:35:52,317 --> 00:35:54,610 And to the victor, the spoils. 632 00:35:58,239 --> 00:35:59,741 You'll never be co-detective. 633 00:36:05,913 --> 00:36:08,750 Watson, I'm near a breakthrough. 634 00:36:08,916 --> 00:36:14,756 My hypothesis is the true cause of death is ink poisoning via the fresh tattoo. 635 00:36:14,839 --> 00:36:16,257 But I need your help. 636 00:36:18,843 --> 00:36:20,219 You want me to be co-detective? 637 00:36:22,055 --> 00:36:24,432 I'm awfully sorry, Dr. Watson. 638 00:36:25,058 --> 00:36:26,267 Sorry for what? 639 00:36:26,351 --> 00:36:28,102 Mr. Holmes left me no choice. 640 00:36:28,186 --> 00:36:30,563 - May you rest in peace. - What's she on about? 641 00:36:30,646 --> 00:36:34,567 All will be clear in three, two, one. 642 00:36:36,944 --> 00:36:37,945 Excuse me. 643 00:36:38,029 --> 00:36:39,238 I'll take that. 644 00:36:39,530 --> 00:36:41,199 It's just something caught in my throat. 645 00:36:41,824 --> 00:36:43,076 Oh, no. 646 00:36:43,159 --> 00:36:44,410 I poisoned you. 647 00:36:44,827 --> 00:36:45,828 Why? 648 00:36:45,912 --> 00:36:47,455 To test my theory. 649 00:36:47,538 --> 00:36:49,082 Am I going to die? 650 00:36:49,165 --> 00:36:50,458 No, I have an antidote. 651 00:36:51,250 --> 00:36:52,960 But I need to see it play out. 652 00:36:53,753 --> 00:36:55,171 Now, let's see here. 653 00:36:55,671 --> 00:36:57,173 Redness around the mouth. Good. 654 00:36:57,423 --> 00:36:58,424 Help me. 655 00:36:58,758 --> 00:37:01,135 You will have temporary brain damage. 656 00:37:02,970 --> 00:37:04,764 Wake up, Watson. Wake up. 657 00:37:04,847 --> 00:37:06,265 We have work to do. Watson. 658 00:37:07,141 --> 00:37:08,851 Who's Watson? I'll kill him! 659 00:37:09,060 --> 00:37:10,269 You son of a bitch! 660 00:37:10,353 --> 00:37:11,437 Violent aggression. 661 00:37:11,521 --> 00:37:13,439 Please give me the antidote. 662 00:37:13,523 --> 00:37:14,774 Drama queen syndrome. 663 00:37:15,858 --> 00:37:17,110 Why am I doing this? 664 00:37:17,193 --> 00:37:18,403 Confused mime. 665 00:37:19,237 --> 00:37:21,406 Does this suit make me look fat? 666 00:37:21,489 --> 00:37:23,116 Body image dysmorphia. 667 00:37:23,991 --> 00:37:24,992 My eyes! 668 00:37:25,076 --> 00:37:27,245 - Sensitivity to light. - My eyes! It burns! 669 00:37:28,621 --> 00:37:30,623 Excruciating abdominal pain. 670 00:37:31,374 --> 00:37:32,875 Yes, it's confirmed. 671 00:37:32,959 --> 00:37:34,961 It was poison. Come, Watson. 672 00:37:35,044 --> 00:37:36,295 Let us not be late. 673 00:37:38,423 --> 00:37:39,424 Of course. 674 00:37:39,507 --> 00:37:40,550 Lactation. 675 00:37:42,510 --> 00:37:44,387 - Why? - Come along, Watson. 676 00:37:44,470 --> 00:37:45,721 I'll explain in the cab. 677 00:37:48,933 --> 00:37:50,101 There we go. 678 00:37:50,184 --> 00:37:51,894 Oh, thank God for this antidote. 679 00:37:51,978 --> 00:37:54,397 I feel as though I've completely recovered. 680 00:37:55,273 --> 00:37:56,482 Yes, you have. 681 00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:00,445 There. 682 00:38:00,611 --> 00:38:01,696 So where are we going? 683 00:38:01,863 --> 00:38:03,906 The fact that the victim was poisoned 684 00:38:03,990 --> 00:38:07,827 suggests the killer lacked physical strength to overpower him. 685 00:38:07,994 --> 00:38:10,997 The tattoos you examined have an uneven quality. 686 00:38:11,330 --> 00:38:14,917 It leads me to believe that they were drawn by a one-armed man. 687 00:38:15,084 --> 00:38:17,503 A one-armed man. 688 00:38:17,587 --> 00:38:18,838 Yes. 689 00:38:19,005 --> 00:38:20,840 A weak man who would use poison. 690 00:38:20,923 --> 00:38:25,845 There is only one one-armed tattoo artist in all of London. 691 00:38:26,012 --> 00:38:28,848 The nefarious Gustav Klinger. 692 00:38:29,307 --> 00:38:32,310 Dorset Street! And don't spare the horses! 693 00:38:32,393 --> 00:38:33,603 Dorset Street. 694 00:38:33,686 --> 00:38:37,440 Home of drunkards, thieves, and hairy, old whores. 695 00:38:37,690 --> 00:38:40,234 And, if my theory is correct, the killer. 696 00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:42,862 Hello, gorgeous. 697 00:38:43,946 --> 00:38:47,700 Though all is calm now, we must be on highest alert. 698 00:38:49,619 --> 00:38:52,872 Shall we ask someone if they've seen our one-armed Mr. Klinger? 699 00:38:52,955 --> 00:38:56,417 This neighborhood does not welcome curious outsiders. 700 00:38:56,501 --> 00:38:58,294 Excuse me. Have you the time? 701 00:38:58,461 --> 00:38:59,962 Not for you, outsider. 702 00:39:01,923 --> 00:39:03,549 Merciful God. 703 00:39:03,633 --> 00:39:05,218 We must blend in. 704 00:39:05,301 --> 00:39:09,305 Fortunately, my ti me tripping the boards has made me a master of disguise. 705 00:39:09,388 --> 00:39:10,389 Yes. 706 00:39:17,104 --> 00:39:18,147 You. 707 00:39:18,231 --> 00:39:19,607 What have you done with Sherlock? 708 00:39:19,982 --> 00:39:21,025 Why, Watson, 709 00:39:22,235 --> 00:39:23,319 I never left. 710 00:39:25,613 --> 00:39:27,198 - Amazing. - Yes, I know. 711 00:39:27,406 --> 00:39:29,700 Yes, you've outdone yourself this time. 712 00:39:29,784 --> 00:39:30,952 Now... 713 00:39:31,661 --> 00:39:32,912 No. 714 00:39:32,995 --> 00:39:34,455 - Still me. - It's you? 715 00:39:34,539 --> 00:39:36,207 It's still Sherlock. 716 00:39:36,290 --> 00:39:38,251 - All right. - Rest assured. 717 00:39:38,334 --> 00:39:39,585 It's very convincing. 718 00:39:39,752 --> 00:39:41,170 Now for your disguise. 719 00:39:42,004 --> 00:39:43,089 What will it be? 720 00:39:45,216 --> 00:39:48,344 Yes. You, my friend, 721 00:39:49,345 --> 00:39:54,559 shall play a down-on-your-luck horseshit salesman. 722 00:39:55,309 --> 00:39:56,477 Yes. 723 00:39:57,019 --> 00:39:58,396 Yes. Yes. 724 00:39:58,729 --> 00:40:01,440 Come, Watson. We have a one-armed killer to catch. 725 00:40:01,941 --> 00:40:02,984 Get into character. 726 00:40:03,067 --> 00:40:05,111 - Horseshit for sale! - There you go. 727 00:40:05,194 --> 00:40:07,114 - Who will buy my horse's shit? - I'll take some. 728 00:40:07,613 --> 00:40:10,283 No one must know our true Purpose. 729 00:40:11,242 --> 00:40:12,326 What you toffs want? 730 00:40:12,868 --> 00:40:16,831 To buy a pint for any man who can raise two hands. 731 00:40:20,167 --> 00:40:22,336 Every man has both arms. 732 00:40:22,628 --> 00:40:23,796 Klinger isn't here. 733 00:40:24,672 --> 00:40:26,007 Our journey continues. 734 00:40:26,841 --> 00:40:29,135 - Blend in like a common oaf. - Yes. 735 00:40:31,345 --> 00:40:33,139 Keep drinking. We need to fit in. 736 00:40:33,222 --> 00:40:34,223 Cheers. 737 00:40:35,641 --> 00:40:36,642 Cheers! 738 00:40:36,976 --> 00:40:38,728 More, more, more! 739 00:40:51,032 --> 00:40:52,408 They have boxing here. 740 00:40:52,491 --> 00:40:53,993 I don't care if he's small! 741 00:40:54,076 --> 00:40:55,870 - Kill! - Come on, fight! 742 00:40:58,414 --> 00:40:59,850 Shouldn't we be looking for Klinger? 743 00:40:59,874 --> 00:41:01,834 - Who cares about Klinger? - Exactly! 744 00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:07,089 Release the child! 745 00:41:07,173 --> 00:41:09,008 Let go of that boy! I want him dead! 746 00:41:09,091 --> 00:41:10,676 Sweet river of piss. 747 00:41:13,137 --> 00:41:14,513 You have real force there. 748 00:41:15,765 --> 00:41:17,183 Arc of stream. 749 00:41:17,266 --> 00:41:18,684 Direction of wind. 750 00:41:18,768 --> 00:41:20,603 Compensate for shy penis. 751 00:41:20,686 --> 00:41:22,521 Avoid splash on shoes. 752 00:41:23,773 --> 00:41:25,066 And release fluids. 753 00:41:25,149 --> 00:41:26,317 Oh, my goodness. 754 00:41:26,776 --> 00:41:29,654 Damn it, I forgot to unzip my pants. 755 00:41:30,279 --> 00:41:31,864 You really are a genius. 756 00:41:31,947 --> 00:41:33,032 - Watch it. - Sorry. 757 00:41:34,367 --> 00:41:36,202 I should like to send a telegram. 758 00:41:36,994 --> 00:41:38,663 Grace. Stop. 759 00:41:40,873 --> 00:41:43,125 Are you awake? Stop. 760 00:41:45,628 --> 00:41:47,713 You're such a pretty doctor lady. 761 00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:51,509 Are you quite sure this is a good idea? 762 00:41:51,592 --> 00:41:52,968 This is wonderful. 763 00:41:53,052 --> 00:41:56,305 The combination of the late hour and your drunkenness 764 00:41:56,389 --> 00:41:59,809 allows for communication of exceptional honesty. 765 00:41:59,892 --> 00:42:00,893 Quite right. 766 00:42:00,976 --> 00:42:02,687 I will call it an intoxigram. 767 00:42:02,770 --> 00:42:05,314 And no one shall ever regret sending one. 768 00:42:05,648 --> 00:42:08,401 Now, lay bare the fruits of your inebriation. 769 00:42:08,484 --> 00:42:09,819 Ask her what she's wearing. 770 00:42:10,236 --> 00:42:12,113 What are you wearing? Stop. 771 00:42:12,655 --> 00:42:13,698 "What are you wearing?" 772 00:42:13,781 --> 00:42:14,990 Bloomers? 773 00:42:15,533 --> 00:42:18,244 - Probably. - What color? Stop. 774 00:42:18,994 --> 00:42:20,204 A brassiere? 775 00:42:20,287 --> 00:42:22,331 I'd wager you'd look good in anything. 776 00:42:22,415 --> 00:42:23,749 - Wonderful. - Stop. 777 00:42:23,833 --> 00:42:25,918 Shall I ask what Millie thinks about you? 778 00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:30,131 I don't care. Sure. Why not? 779 00:42:30,214 --> 00:42:32,383 What does Millie think of Sherlock? 780 00:42:32,466 --> 00:42:36,137 Does Millie ever drip wax over her body? 781 00:42:36,220 --> 00:42:38,472 Hot wax. Stop. 782 00:42:38,848 --> 00:42:40,492 - Okay. That's enough. - Yeah, I think so. 783 00:42:40,516 --> 00:42:44,061 Now show her how she makes you feel. 784 00:42:44,603 --> 00:42:46,230 Just go ahead. Display it. 785 00:42:47,523 --> 00:42:48,524 There. 786 00:42:48,607 --> 00:42:50,109 Telegraph a picture of this. 787 00:42:50,234 --> 00:42:53,320 And make sure you get the banger and the beans. 788 00:42:53,404 --> 00:42:54,739 Focus on the mushroom. 789 00:42:54,905 --> 00:42:57,575 Are you positive I shan't regret this in the morning? 790 00:42:58,325 --> 00:42:59,577 You absolutely will. 791 00:42:59,660 --> 00:43:01,203 - Silence, you! - Say it again. 792 00:43:01,287 --> 00:43:02,538 Say it again. I dare you. 793 00:43:02,621 --> 00:43:03,932 Please say it. Please say it again. 794 00:43:03,956 --> 00:43:05,767 Do you think you would be the first man I've killed? 795 00:43:05,791 --> 00:43:07,626 I have the penis of a baby doll. 796 00:43:11,172 --> 00:43:12,715 It's just a statement of fact. 797 00:43:17,762 --> 00:43:22,057 Well, Watson, after a night of drinking, I could eat a whole pie. 798 00:43:22,141 --> 00:43:24,310 No, it's cakes for me, my friend. 799 00:43:24,393 --> 00:43:25,895 Cakes, indeed! 800 00:43:25,978 --> 00:43:29,148 Yes. Yes, cakes stacked on cakes. 801 00:43:30,232 --> 00:43:31,984 We should open a restaurant called 802 00:43:32,067 --> 00:43:35,905 the international House of Cakes Stacked Upon Other Cakes. 803 00:43:36,155 --> 00:43:39,200 Yes, and you can only eat there after a night of drinking. 804 00:43:39,283 --> 00:43:41,344 Well, speaking of the night, I fear it's a night wasted. 805 00:43:41,368 --> 00:43:43,120 No sign of Klinger anywhere. 806 00:43:44,288 --> 00:43:45,873 Not so fast, Watson. 807 00:43:46,207 --> 00:43:48,793 Look at those two men and their tattoos. 808 00:43:49,168 --> 00:43:50,461 I don't understand. 809 00:43:50,795 --> 00:43:53,214 We haven't been able to find the tattoo artist. 810 00:43:53,297 --> 00:43:56,008 Perhaps we should fol low the tattoos. 811 00:44:00,221 --> 00:44:01,472 A gymnasium? 812 00:44:01,555 --> 00:44:03,641 You really think Klinger would be here, Holmes? 813 00:44:03,724 --> 00:44:05,935 Look alive, Watson. He could be anywhere. 814 00:44:06,811 --> 00:44:09,063 Three, two, one. 815 00:44:09,396 --> 00:44:11,982 Pick it up. Pick it up. That's it. 816 00:44:12,066 --> 00:44:14,318 Out with the bad air, in with the good. 817 00:44:14,401 --> 00:44:15,694 Look at these health nuts. 818 00:44:15,778 --> 00:44:17,196 Big deep breath. 819 00:44:17,279 --> 00:44:19,532 Obsessed with the purifying effects of smoke. 820 00:44:19,615 --> 00:44:23,202 All right, good lungful of the cleansing vapors. 821 00:44:24,119 --> 00:44:25,788 I don't think he's here, Holmes. 822 00:44:26,497 --> 00:44:28,374 Hello, hello, hello! 823 00:44:28,457 --> 00:44:30,334 Sherlock Holmes. 824 00:44:32,002 --> 00:44:33,587 You must be Gustav Klinger, 825 00:44:33,671 --> 00:44:36,257 the one-armed tattoo artist of Dorset Street. 826 00:44:36,924 --> 00:44:38,300 Looks like it. 827 00:44:40,636 --> 00:44:44,223 Gustav Klinger, I accuse you of poisoning Jimmy Gruber 828 00:44:44,306 --> 00:44:46,350 and baking him into a large cake. 829 00:44:46,517 --> 00:44:50,771 A deliciously large cake that I baked myself. 830 00:44:51,021 --> 00:44:52,398 Oh, please. 831 00:44:52,606 --> 00:44:53,816 How dare you! 832 00:44:54,066 --> 00:44:56,235 You did not bake that cake. 833 00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:58,737 Not only did I bake it. I decorated it, too. 834 00:44:58,988 --> 00:44:59,989 Impossible. 835 00:45:00,072 --> 00:45:01,448 It's got a frosting attachment. 836 00:45:01,532 --> 00:45:02,741 You're trying to tell me 837 00:45:02,825 --> 00:45:05,953 that a one-armed man made a professional, bakery-quality cake 838 00:45:06,036 --> 00:45:07,246 - fit for the Queen. - Watson. 839 00:45:07,329 --> 00:45:09,582 - It's just... It... - It doesn't matter 840 00:45:09,665 --> 00:45:11,101 - if he baked the cake or not. - It really bugs... I know. 841 00:45:11,125 --> 00:45:12,561 - It really... - Best cake I've ever eaten. 842 00:45:12,585 --> 00:45:14,795 - I did bake the cake. - All right, fine. 843 00:45:14,879 --> 00:45:16,422 You "baked the cake." 844 00:45:16,547 --> 00:45:18,924 I didn't "bake a cake." 845 00:45:19,800 --> 00:45:20,885 I baked a cake. 846 00:45:20,968 --> 00:45:22,011 Then you admit it. 847 00:45:22,428 --> 00:45:24,096 You killed Jimmy Gruber. 848 00:45:24,179 --> 00:45:25,681 And what if I did, Mr. Holmes? 849 00:45:26,307 --> 00:45:29,226 It's not as if you're in a position to do anything about it. 850 00:45:29,435 --> 00:45:31,478 He's right, Sherlock Holmes. 851 00:45:32,396 --> 00:45:35,357 You've walked straight into our trap. 852 00:45:35,983 --> 00:45:37,735 - Moriarty. - Quiet, Watson. 853 00:45:37,985 --> 00:45:41,488 In the name of the queen, I arrest you both. 854 00:45:41,864 --> 00:45:43,657 Oh, come, Sherlock. 855 00:45:44,241 --> 00:45:45,993 You don't think it'll be that easy. 856 00:45:46,076 --> 00:45:48,412 You won't be leaving here Alive, Mr. Holmes, 857 00:45:49,246 --> 00:45:53,709 unless, of course, you fight your way out of the Hexagon. 858 00:45:57,212 --> 00:45:58,464 Where are you pointing? 859 00:45:59,882 --> 00:46:00,883 There. 860 00:46:01,008 --> 00:46:02,092 This way or that way? 861 00:46:02,885 --> 00:46:03,969 There. 862 00:46:04,511 --> 00:46:05,554 The Hexagon. 863 00:46:05,638 --> 00:46:07,723 But I won't fight a one-armed man. 864 00:46:07,806 --> 00:46:09,683 Oh, no. I've got this, Sherlock. 865 00:46:10,768 --> 00:46:12,937 It won't be the first time I've fought a cripple. 866 00:46:14,563 --> 00:46:15,940 You won't be fighting me. 867 00:46:16,106 --> 00:46:18,067 Nah, nah, nah. 868 00:46:18,275 --> 00:46:19,610 You're fighting my mate. 869 00:46:20,069 --> 00:46:21,946 Meet Brawn. 870 00:46:39,838 --> 00:46:41,465 Oh, come on. 871 00:46:43,008 --> 00:46:44,259 Well, I call bullshit. 872 00:46:48,222 --> 00:46:50,683 I fear it might be suicide to fight this man. 873 00:46:50,766 --> 00:46:53,018 I think it's mostly psychological. 874 00:46:56,271 --> 00:46:58,857 I'm psychologically scared shitless right now. 875 00:46:58,941 --> 00:47:01,443 Fight! Fight! Fight! 876 00:47:04,071 --> 00:47:05,906 Okay. Okay. 877 00:47:05,990 --> 00:47:08,867 But if you want to watch this fight, you have to pay. 878 00:47:08,951 --> 00:47:10,369 You have to pay to view it. 879 00:47:10,452 --> 00:47:13,706 This is a pay-to-view-it fight. 880 00:47:13,789 --> 00:47:15,833 Yes, I know it seems a bit unfair, 881 00:47:15,916 --> 00:47:17,626 but if you split it among a few friends 882 00:47:17,710 --> 00:47:19,336 and buy some beers, some pizza, 883 00:47:19,420 --> 00:47:21,505 it could be a fun thing to do with the guys. 884 00:47:21,714 --> 00:47:26,301 It's time! 885 00:47:26,510 --> 00:47:28,929 Let's get ready to scuffle! 886 00:47:30,389 --> 00:47:33,392 Scuffle! Scuffle! Scuffle! 887 00:47:33,475 --> 00:47:34,476 Nice! 888 00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:35,853 What is she doing here? 889 00:47:35,978 --> 00:47:37,146 It's 6:00 in the morning. 890 00:47:37,521 --> 00:47:38,772 Holmes, I don't know why... 891 00:47:38,856 --> 00:47:40,691 - Yes. - But that really jacked me up. 892 00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:42,818 I think I might stand a chance. 893 00:47:42,901 --> 00:47:44,737 It reminds me of Istanbul. 894 00:47:44,820 --> 00:47:47,281 Exactly. And what did I beat in Istanbul? 895 00:47:47,614 --> 00:47:49,283 - Syphilis! - Syphilis! Exactly. 896 00:47:49,366 --> 00:47:50,617 - Go get him. - All right. 897 00:47:51,368 --> 00:47:52,411 Come on! 898 00:47:52,494 --> 00:47:53,871 "Come on"? You come on! 899 00:47:53,954 --> 00:47:55,414 You! 900 00:47:55,497 --> 00:47:56,957 You mountain of flesh. 901 00:48:05,966 --> 00:48:07,718 Your turn, Mr. Holmes! 902 00:48:08,177 --> 00:48:10,554 Yes, I know. Of course I'm next. 903 00:48:15,559 --> 00:48:17,644 Opponent, 350 pounds. 904 00:48:18,020 --> 00:48:19,271 Use pipe. 905 00:48:19,563 --> 00:48:22,191 Create diversion to distract his gaze. 906 00:48:23,942 --> 00:48:25,152 Plan of attack, 907 00:48:26,028 --> 00:48:28,822 surprise first blow to center of mass. 908 00:48:28,906 --> 00:48:31,158 Gracefully dodge counterpunch. 909 00:48:31,700 --> 00:48:33,452 Employ visual impairment. 910 00:48:34,953 --> 00:48:36,997 Easily duck wild swing. 911 00:48:37,498 --> 00:48:40,709 Utilize Tibetan ototoxic method 912 00:48:40,793 --> 00:48:42,377 to disrupt his balance. 913 00:48:44,129 --> 00:48:45,380 Grab facial hair. 914 00:48:45,464 --> 00:48:46,757 Use for leverage. 915 00:48:47,216 --> 00:48:49,134 Okinawan beard flip. 916 00:48:51,678 --> 00:48:53,347 Enemy incapacitated. 917 00:48:54,098 --> 00:48:55,182 Catch pipe. 918 00:48:56,350 --> 00:48:58,602 Revel in crowdrs adulation. 919 00:49:14,118 --> 00:49:15,202 Oh, no. 920 00:49:18,580 --> 00:49:19,665 Good show, Watson. 921 00:49:19,748 --> 00:49:20,749 Thank you, Holmes. 922 00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:24,253 Break his pelvis. 923 00:49:24,753 --> 00:49:26,296 Go! Again! 924 00:49:27,005 --> 00:49:28,882 Club him like a baby seal. 925 00:49:34,179 --> 00:49:36,098 - What have I done? - No, you're fine. 926 00:49:36,390 --> 00:49:37,891 - Okay. - Now, 927 00:49:38,100 --> 00:49:41,311 tel I us everything you know about the plot to kill the Queen. 928 00:49:42,187 --> 00:49:43,188 Al I right. 929 00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:45,149 I’ll tell you everything I know. 930 00:49:47,317 --> 00:49:48,819 I've been stabbed in the back. 931 00:49:51,530 --> 00:49:52,739 Meaning? 932 00:49:52,823 --> 00:49:54,533 Metaphorically speaking, yes. 933 00:49:54,616 --> 00:49:57,452 No, I've literally been stabbed in the back... 934 00:49:59,746 --> 00:50:01,039 Holmes, he's escaping. 935 00:50:10,048 --> 00:50:11,675 So Moriarty is in England. 936 00:50:12,176 --> 00:50:14,761 Watson. Does it look like Moriarty 937 00:50:14,928 --> 00:50:16,388 now? 938 00:50:16,930 --> 00:50:18,098 Who is this? 939 00:50:18,348 --> 00:50:19,808 Jacob Musgrave, 940 00:50:20,434 --> 00:50:22,227 as I've been saying all along. 941 00:50:22,644 --> 00:50:24,730 A man who looks so much like Moriarty, 942 00:50:24,813 --> 00:50:27,441 a simple beard fooled Al most everyone. 943 00:50:27,524 --> 00:50:28,859 Al I right, I admit it. 944 00:50:28,942 --> 00:50:30,360 I am no Moriarty. 945 00:50:30,861 --> 00:50:32,404 My name is Musgrave, 946 00:50:32,487 --> 00:50:33,822 just like he says. 947 00:50:35,199 --> 00:50:36,783 - Wow. - Who put you up to this? 948 00:50:37,284 --> 00:50:40,037 They've been leaving me notes telling me what to do. 949 00:50:40,579 --> 00:50:41,705 I don't know who it is. 950 00:50:41,788 --> 00:50:43,957 I swear, I'm just a simple wanker. 951 00:50:44,208 --> 00:50:45,709 He's telling the truth, Watson. 952 00:50:46,210 --> 00:50:48,128 This morally deficient creature, 953 00:50:48,712 --> 00:50:52,341 this awful, awful excuse for a man, this... 954 00:50:52,424 --> 00:50:54,718 - Bag of Rubbish. - Yes, good one, Watson. Yes. 955 00:50:54,801 --> 00:50:56,553 Come on, guys. I'm dying. 956 00:50:56,637 --> 00:50:59,139 These are the wages of wanking, you see? 957 00:50:59,223 --> 00:51:00,933 - Wait, wait, wait. - What? 958 00:51:01,433 --> 00:51:02,476 Just a... 959 00:51:02,559 --> 00:51:03,644 Don't wank on us. 960 00:51:05,187 --> 00:51:06,313 A coal. 961 00:51:07,147 --> 00:51:09,650 Said you were to take it to Newcastle. 962 00:51:11,443 --> 00:51:13,570 - A lump of coal? - Yeah. 963 00:51:13,779 --> 00:51:14,988 To Newcastle? 964 00:51:15,072 --> 00:51:16,573 Newcastle by the river? 965 00:51:17,032 --> 00:51:19,868 Perhaps this clue will lead us to the real mastermind. 966 00:51:19,952 --> 00:51:20,953 Time is running out. 967 00:51:21,036 --> 00:51:22,287 We must save the Queen. 968 00:51:22,371 --> 00:51:23,747 Good luck to you. 969 00:51:45,519 --> 00:51:48,605 Bring these coals to Newcastle. 970 00:51:48,689 --> 00:51:49,982 Coals. 971 00:51:50,524 --> 00:51:52,734 Coals. "Sherlock." 972 00:51:52,818 --> 00:51:55,779 "Three days until I rewrite history and kill the queen." 973 00:51:55,862 --> 00:51:57,572 Millicent is the subject of my research. 974 00:51:57,656 --> 00:51:58,699 Coals to Newcastle. 975 00:51:58,782 --> 00:52:01,702 Talking to you, it's as if our brains are sharing a tandem bicycle. 976 00:52:01,785 --> 00:52:03,054 She has the mental capacity of... 977 00:52:03,078 --> 00:52:04,222 Now you have but three days... 978 00:52:04,246 --> 00:52:06,707 Bring these coals to Newcastle. 979 00:52:06,790 --> 00:52:09,668 Co-detective Sherlock and me 980 00:52:11,003 --> 00:52:12,546 Good morning, Sherlock. 981 00:52:13,171 --> 00:52:14,715 - What's happened? - Well, I'm... 982 00:52:14,798 --> 00:52:17,050 I'm trying to untangle this baffling clue. 983 00:52:17,926 --> 00:52:20,679 Ever since I met Millie, my mind is muddled. 984 00:52:20,846 --> 00:52:24,891 Do you suppose she's infected me with some sort of a disease? 985 00:52:25,058 --> 00:52:26,059 Disease? 986 00:52:26,143 --> 00:52:27,519 My heart races. 987 00:52:27,811 --> 00:52:29,062 My palms sweat. 988 00:52:29,229 --> 00:52:30,856 I have all these feelings. 989 00:52:30,981 --> 00:52:33,734 Holmes, get a hold of yourself. You're not sick. 990 00:52:34,860 --> 00:52:35,902 You're in love. 991 00:52:36,028 --> 00:52:37,988 Love? Horseradish! 992 00:52:38,113 --> 00:52:39,239 I'm a man of logic. 993 00:52:39,323 --> 00:52:40,643 There's nothing to be ashamed of. 994 00:52:40,699 --> 00:52:45,245 In fact, I, too, have been taken by this malady called love. 995 00:52:45,746 --> 00:52:48,373 Grace has asked me to call upon her. 996 00:52:48,874 --> 00:52:50,000 Apparently, 997 00:52:50,667 --> 00:52:53,545 I sent her quite the charming telegram last night. 998 00:52:55,047 --> 00:52:56,590 Watson, you've cracked it. 999 00:52:57,007 --> 00:52:58,383 Have I? Co-detective? 1000 00:52:58,467 --> 00:52:59,551 Think, Watson. 1001 00:52:59,634 --> 00:53:01,219 Is there a single logical reason 1002 00:53:01,303 --> 00:53:03,138 for Grace to want to seek your company? 1003 00:53:03,805 --> 00:53:05,057 Romantic interest? 1004 00:53:05,307 --> 00:53:06,975 - No. - My eyes? 1005 00:53:07,059 --> 00:53:08,185 It's all a ruse. 1006 00:53:08,268 --> 00:53:10,312 Moriarty escapes to America, 1007 00:53:10,395 --> 00:53:12,939 and then these two American women show up? 1008 00:53:13,398 --> 00:53:17,069 Sorry, you're saying Grace is the killer? 1009 00:53:17,152 --> 00:53:19,863 Of course she's not the killer. She's an American. 1010 00:53:19,946 --> 00:53:21,239 She would have used a gun. 1011 00:53:22,324 --> 00:53:25,243 No, Grace is working for the killer. 1012 00:53:26,453 --> 00:53:28,330 We shall seduce her, 1013 00:53:28,413 --> 00:53:30,248 and that will lead us to the murderer. 1014 00:53:32,042 --> 00:53:33,043 Yes. 1015 00:53:35,212 --> 00:53:36,692 Who could that be at this early hour? 1016 00:53:37,422 --> 00:53:38,423 Enter. 1017 00:53:44,805 --> 00:53:45,889 Her Majesty. 1018 00:53:47,766 --> 00:53:49,601 Have you come to see me? 1019 00:53:50,727 --> 00:53:53,647 Mr. Holmes, I have but two days left to live 1020 00:53:53,730 --> 00:53:55,690 unless you can solve this case. 1021 00:53:56,608 --> 00:53:58,819 My queen, do come in. 1022 00:53:59,778 --> 00:54:02,072 I shall speak with Mr. Holmes in private. 1023 00:54:04,950 --> 00:54:06,118 Your Majesty. 1024 00:54:06,493 --> 00:54:07,661 You'll be happy to know 1025 00:54:07,744 --> 00:54:10,539 that, just this morning we discovered a new clue. 1026 00:54:10,997 --> 00:54:12,457 This chunk of coal. 1027 00:54:12,916 --> 00:54:14,209 What does it mean? 1028 00:54:14,292 --> 00:54:15,877 It's quite a mystery. 1029 00:54:17,838 --> 00:54:19,214 Is this going to be a problem? 1030 00:54:19,631 --> 00:54:20,674 Watson. 1031 00:54:20,757 --> 00:54:23,051 Perhaps the Queen would enjoy some tea. 1032 00:54:23,135 --> 00:54:24,553 Oh, yes, of course. 1033 00:54:26,096 --> 00:54:29,516 Mr. Holmes, the empire is depending on you. 1034 00:54:29,599 --> 00:54:32,894 Your Majesty, I now suspect two American women 1035 00:54:33,270 --> 00:54:35,188 are somehow involved in this plot. 1036 00:54:36,314 --> 00:54:37,315 Sorry. 1037 00:54:38,108 --> 00:54:39,192 Your Majesty, 1038 00:54:39,776 --> 00:54:42,654 do you think I could have a picture of us together? 1039 00:54:42,779 --> 00:54:44,906 But who is going to take the photograph? 1040 00:54:44,990 --> 00:54:46,741 Oh, no, I'll take the photograph. 1041 00:54:46,992 --> 00:54:49,453 You see, it's a type of a self-photograph. 1042 00:54:49,536 --> 00:54:51,913 I can take it, and I will be in it also. 1043 00:54:51,997 --> 00:54:54,875 You know what? I find, to take the most attractive photographs, 1044 00:54:54,958 --> 00:54:58,545 you need to purse your lips together like a duck-billed platypus. 1045 00:54:58,795 --> 00:55:00,755 Platypus face. Chins up. 1046 00:55:02,799 --> 00:55:05,218 - Hey. - Hey. Hey, girl. 1047 00:55:05,302 --> 00:55:06,928 You know, maybe over by the window. 1048 00:55:07,012 --> 00:55:09,412 - The lighting's much better there. - Yes, yes, capital idea. 1049 00:55:10,640 --> 00:55:12,809 Oh, God. Ma'am, ma'am. 1050 00:55:12,893 --> 00:55:14,644 Ma'am! Your Majesty. 1051 00:55:14,728 --> 00:55:16,354 Oh, ma'am. Ma'am. 1052 00:55:16,813 --> 00:55:17,898 Oh, dear. 1053 00:55:19,191 --> 00:55:20,442 Tell me, Watson. 1054 00:55:22,027 --> 00:55:23,320 She's dead. 1055 00:55:24,988 --> 00:55:26,281 Dear God. 1056 00:55:28,408 --> 00:55:29,659 We've killed the Queen. 1057 00:55:30,702 --> 00:55:32,162 Are you all right, Your Majesty? 1058 00:55:33,038 --> 00:55:34,039 Yes. 1059 00:55:34,122 --> 00:55:35,999 - Yes, I'm Al I right. - Are you sure? 1060 00:55:36,082 --> 00:55:37,167 Yes, I'm quite fine. 1061 00:55:37,250 --> 00:55:40,128 My lover, John Watson, will take good care of me. 1062 00:55:42,297 --> 00:55:44,466 Why did you want that photograph? 1063 00:55:44,758 --> 00:55:47,010 I didn't want the photograph. 1064 00:55:47,093 --> 00:55:48,970 What are you talking about? 1065 00:55:49,054 --> 00:55:50,722 Mr. Holmes? Dr. Watson? 1066 00:55:50,931 --> 00:55:52,807 I'm very, very safe. 1067 00:55:52,891 --> 00:55:55,393 - She's so dead. - She's so dead. 1068 00:55:55,769 --> 00:55:56,895 - I know. - Okay. 1069 00:55:56,978 --> 00:55:58,313 We'll shove her down the toilet 1070 00:55:58,396 --> 00:56:00,941 as if she was never here, and we'll deny ever seeing her. 1071 00:56:01,024 --> 00:56:02,275 Right. Excellent. 1072 00:56:02,776 --> 00:56:03,860 - Come on. - Come up. 1073 00:56:05,946 --> 00:56:07,489 Here we are. Into the bathroom. 1074 00:56:09,282 --> 00:56:10,825 Mr. Holmes. Dr. Watson. 1075 00:56:10,909 --> 00:56:12,285 What was the big bang? 1076 00:56:12,369 --> 00:56:13,370 We must buy some time. 1077 00:56:13,703 --> 00:56:14,889 - Right. - Let's get her to the door. 1078 00:56:14,913 --> 00:56:16,122 - Open this door! - Wait. 1079 00:56:16,873 --> 00:56:18,375 Hello. What do you want? 1080 00:56:18,458 --> 00:56:19,793 Ma'am, are you all right? 1081 00:56:19,876 --> 00:56:22,045 Yes, of course I'm fine. Can't you see? 1082 00:56:22,212 --> 00:56:23,272 Yes, of course, ma'am. I'm so sorry. 1083 00:56:23,296 --> 00:56:24,524 We've got it from here, boys. Thank you. 1084 00:56:24,548 --> 00:56:25,715 - We're good. - Yes, sir. 1085 00:56:27,342 --> 00:56:28,468 - The trunk. - Yes. 1086 00:56:28,677 --> 00:56:30,387 Yes, we'll mail her to Africa. 1087 00:56:31,846 --> 00:56:32,847 Come on, ma'am. Sorry. 1088 00:56:33,431 --> 00:56:34,474 There we go. 1089 00:56:34,558 --> 00:56:35,559 Stuff her in there. 1090 00:56:35,809 --> 00:56:37,060 Really thrust. 1091 00:56:37,143 --> 00:56:38,562 Good. Good. 1092 00:56:39,271 --> 00:56:40,605 Good. Good. 1093 00:56:41,022 --> 00:56:42,607 - Hold on, Watson. - Come on, boys. 1094 00:56:42,691 --> 00:56:43,817 Open the door! 1095 00:56:44,651 --> 00:56:46,444 Mr. Holmes. Dr. Watson. 1096 00:56:46,528 --> 00:56:48,822 One, two, three. Watch your fingers. 1097 00:56:49,990 --> 00:56:51,783 Open this door immediately! 1098 00:56:51,992 --> 00:56:53,118 This is bad. 1099 00:56:53,201 --> 00:56:54,995 You know what we must do. 1100 00:56:56,037 --> 00:56:57,247 Grab your toolbox. 1101 00:56:57,330 --> 00:56:59,874 Let me in! I'm breaking down the door! 1102 00:57:01,751 --> 00:57:03,795 - Bone saw. - Bone saw. 1103 00:57:03,878 --> 00:57:05,314 - Oh, God. - Come on! Push! Come on, together! 1104 00:57:05,338 --> 00:57:08,091 Watson, toilet-sized chunks. 1105 00:57:08,174 --> 00:57:09,175 Put your back into it! 1106 00:57:12,846 --> 00:57:14,222 Good God! 1107 00:57:14,306 --> 00:57:15,557 What have you done? 1108 00:57:17,475 --> 00:57:18,935 Platypus lips. 1109 00:57:25,900 --> 00:57:29,738 Can you send me a copy of the self-photograph? 1110 00:57:30,905 --> 00:57:32,407 Absolutely. 1111 00:57:33,241 --> 00:57:37,162 It will arrive at the palace in about a week. 1112 00:57:38,788 --> 00:57:39,873 Gentlemen, 1113 00:57:40,206 --> 00:57:43,627 you have two days to stop this killer. 1114 00:57:43,918 --> 00:57:45,003 Yes, ma'am. 1115 00:57:46,212 --> 00:57:47,464 God save the Queen. 1116 00:57:52,344 --> 00:57:56,014 What a perfect day for a picnic at London's greatest spectacle, 1117 00:57:56,181 --> 00:57:57,932 the Anglo-American Exhibition. 1118 00:57:58,433 --> 00:58:00,393 A celebration of that special relationship 1119 00:58:00,477 --> 00:58:02,270 between our nation and yours. 1120 00:58:02,354 --> 00:58:04,356 Yes, such a special relationship 1121 00:58:04,439 --> 00:58:06,232 between these two nations, 1122 00:58:06,483 --> 00:58:08,485 although I could never live 1123 00:58:08,568 --> 00:58:10,528 In a country with an unelected ruler 1124 00:58:10,612 --> 00:58:11,613 I Ike the Queen. 1125 00:58:12,322 --> 00:58:13,448 Why ever not? 1126 00:58:13,782 --> 00:58:15,825 In America, we have democracy. 1127 00:58:16,034 --> 00:58:19,037 Our president is a person our people have all chosen. 1128 00:58:19,871 --> 00:58:24,167 An assurance that only the finest and most qualified man will lead, 1129 00:58:24,334 --> 00:58:28,296 not a wealthy tyrant who cares for nothing but himself. 1130 00:58:28,380 --> 00:58:31,049 But you have the electoral college, which surely will prevent 1131 00:58:31,132 --> 00:58:33,510 some trumped-up charlatan from gaining power. 1132 00:58:33,593 --> 00:58:35,178 Not always, unfortunately. 1133 00:58:35,303 --> 00:58:37,472 It would be great to have a strong businessman. 1134 00:58:37,555 --> 00:58:38,973 But a showman as well. 1135 00:58:39,140 --> 00:58:40,392 I love a good show. 1136 00:58:40,475 --> 00:58:41,643 America. 1137 00:58:42,519 --> 00:58:45,355 We gave you your freedom, and now look what you've done with it. 1138 00:58:45,772 --> 00:58:47,816 London's spectacle... 1139 00:58:48,274 --> 00:58:49,734 Remember, Watson. 1140 00:58:49,859 --> 00:58:52,946 Relax them with small talk, then begin the seduction. 1141 00:58:53,655 --> 00:58:55,281 I must say, she doesn't look 1142 00:58:55,365 --> 00:58:57,283 I Ike she could be an accessory to murder. 1143 00:58:58,576 --> 00:59:00,620 Well, looks can be deceiving. 1144 00:59:02,497 --> 00:59:04,332 Remember, we're here to seduce. 1145 00:59:04,999 --> 00:59:08,878 These physical displays of strength will enchant them. 1146 00:59:13,717 --> 00:59:15,218 I could use a bit of cocaine. 1147 00:59:15,301 --> 00:59:16,886 Did you bring a vial with you? 1148 00:59:20,765 --> 00:59:21,933 Very good. 1149 00:59:30,150 --> 00:59:32,277 - Are you all right? - I'm... I'm exhausted. 1150 00:59:32,777 --> 00:59:35,155 There is one test I can employ 1151 00:59:35,238 --> 00:59:37,866 to prove she truly is who she says she is. 1152 00:59:38,032 --> 00:59:39,367 Then do it, Holmes. 1153 00:59:39,451 --> 00:59:41,870 Employ your last test. I simply must know. 1154 00:59:45,081 --> 00:59:46,374 - Help! - John? 1155 00:59:46,458 --> 00:59:48,126 - This man has been taken ill. - What? 1156 00:59:50,670 --> 00:59:51,671 Let me see. 1157 00:59:51,755 --> 00:59:53,631 If only there were a doctor present. 1158 00:59:54,132 --> 00:59:56,968 Clearly, he's had a severe blow to his occipital bone. 1159 00:59:57,427 --> 00:59:58,428 He's concussed. 1160 00:59:58,511 --> 01:00:00,930 - And I am a doctor. - A doctor? 1161 01:00:01,014 --> 01:00:03,308 A woman doctor. What times we live in. 1162 01:00:04,225 --> 01:00:05,435 Could it be? 1163 01:00:06,102 --> 01:00:08,396 Is Grace truly a doctor? 1164 01:00:08,855 --> 01:00:11,191 Are her feelings of affection genuine? 1165 01:00:11,399 --> 01:00:12,984 Then she's innocent. 1166 01:00:13,359 --> 01:00:14,652 Watson, get up. 1167 01:00:14,736 --> 01:00:15,987 We need to go see my brother. 1168 01:00:16,070 --> 01:00:17,447 I love you, Grace. 1169 01:00:20,492 --> 01:00:22,994 The legendary Diogenes Men's Club. 1170 01:00:23,077 --> 01:00:26,873 Home of London's most awkward gentlemen and my brother. 1171 01:00:28,625 --> 01:00:29,876 Holmes. 1172 01:00:29,959 --> 01:00:31,419 I can't believe you have a brother. 1173 01:00:31,503 --> 01:00:33,379 Yes, but we're nothing Al Ike. 1174 01:00:33,546 --> 01:00:35,882 He's an arrogant man who never appreciates 1175 01:00:35,965 --> 01:00:37,258 the people around him. 1176 01:00:37,717 --> 01:00:39,260 - Fol low me. - Here. 1177 01:00:43,640 --> 01:00:45,558 Well, well, well. 1178 01:00:47,644 --> 01:00:50,146 So you are finally seeking your brother's help. 1179 01:00:51,022 --> 01:00:52,482 I must say, I'm not surprised. 1180 01:00:53,191 --> 01:00:55,735 And this vague assembly of limbs and fatty tissue, 1181 01:00:55,819 --> 01:00:57,278 I assume, is Dr. Watson. 1182 01:01:11,626 --> 01:01:13,503 So shall I get us started? 1183 01:01:16,256 --> 01:01:18,007 Watson, please. 1184 01:01:18,091 --> 01:01:20,051 We're in the middle of a conversation. 1185 01:01:20,134 --> 01:01:21,135 Can't you see? 1186 01:01:21,261 --> 01:01:23,763 When the two most brilliant minds in all of England 1187 01:01:23,847 --> 01:01:25,139 have a fraternal bond, 1188 01:01:25,223 --> 01:01:27,225 words are an inefficiency. 1189 01:01:27,308 --> 01:01:29,811 We communicate without words, silently, 1190 01:01:29,894 --> 01:01:32,188 from giant brain to gianter brain. 1191 01:01:32,355 --> 01:01:33,356 Of course. 1192 01:01:34,148 --> 01:01:35,984 I'll join in as I see fit. 1193 01:01:39,904 --> 01:01:42,699 I can spare a few minutes to solve your little mystery 1194 01:01:42,782 --> 01:01:45,827 and help quench your thirst for public adulation. 1195 01:01:45,910 --> 01:01:48,079 My thirst is for logic. 1196 01:01:48,162 --> 01:01:52,250 I don't care what the public thinks of London rs best-loved detective, 1197 01:01:52,333 --> 01:01:53,543 Sherlock Holmes. 1198 01:01:53,626 --> 01:01:54,752 Thoughts. 1199 01:01:55,420 --> 01:01:57,046 Me-Me talky. 1200 01:01:57,380 --> 01:01:58,715 Me-Me talky. 1201 01:01:58,798 --> 01:02:00,258 You find killer. 1202 01:02:00,341 --> 01:02:03,094 Me-Me talky? We find killer? 1203 01:02:03,553 --> 01:02:06,097 Watson, what are you trying to do? 1204 01:02:06,180 --> 01:02:07,390 Trying to brain-speak. 1205 01:02:07,473 --> 01:02:09,225 You're going to hurt yourself. 1206 01:02:10,143 --> 01:02:11,227 Sorry. 1207 01:02:11,519 --> 01:02:13,938 Perhaps the gentleman would be more comfortable 1208 01:02:14,022 --> 01:02:16,024 In the companions' chamber. 1209 01:02:16,858 --> 01:02:20,194 Perhaps, or perhaps I'd be comfortable here by the fire. 1210 01:02:20,445 --> 01:02:22,864 - In the companions' chamber, Sir. - Yes, fine. Of course. 1211 01:02:22,947 --> 01:02:24,991 Great idea. Yeah, capital idea. 1212 01:02:25,074 --> 01:02:26,674 - I'll be in the companions' room. - Yes. 1213 01:02:26,701 --> 01:02:29,329 The equal companions' room, should you need me. 1214 01:02:29,787 --> 01:02:30,872 It's just here. 1215 01:02:35,710 --> 01:02:38,296 Please enjoy the company of your fellow companions. 1216 01:02:38,504 --> 01:02:39,714 I see. 1217 01:02:40,548 --> 01:02:43,718 Balloons are happy, but they're not alive. 1218 01:02:45,178 --> 01:02:46,429 Fair enough. 1219 01:02:51,309 --> 01:02:55,146 Who is this brilliant nemesis capable of besting me? 1220 01:02:55,647 --> 01:02:59,025 If your nemesis were truly smarter than you, 1221 01:02:59,108 --> 01:03:00,360 it could only be me. 1222 01:03:01,110 --> 01:03:03,321 And as I am not the killer, one must conclude 1223 01:03:03,404 --> 01:03:06,491 that the killer did not, nor could not, outwit you. 1224 01:03:06,783 --> 01:03:09,661 If the killer is my intellectual inferior, 1225 01:03:09,911 --> 01:03:12,038 how has he predicted my every move? 1226 01:03:12,121 --> 01:03:13,721 The killer did not predict your actions. 1227 01:03:13,790 --> 01:03:15,959 Our murderer is a student of yours, 1228 01:03:16,042 --> 01:03:17,502 someone in your proximity. 1229 01:03:17,585 --> 01:03:19,796 Someone who could observe you undetected. 1230 01:03:19,879 --> 01:03:22,340 Someone who knows you better than anyone. 1231 01:03:22,423 --> 01:03:23,883 His mind radiates wisdom. 1232 01:03:23,967 --> 01:03:25,677 Sherlock Holmes has done it again! 1233 01:03:29,263 --> 01:03:30,682 I am dying from anticipation. 1234 01:03:30,765 --> 01:03:32,159 What did your brother tell you, Holmes? 1235 01:03:32,183 --> 01:03:34,018 I believe I've cracked the case. 1236 01:03:34,185 --> 01:03:36,896 It was in front of me the whole ti me, my dear Watson. 1237 01:03:36,980 --> 01:03:38,106 Do share. 1238 01:03:38,314 --> 01:03:39,983 And ruin the suspense? 1239 01:03:40,274 --> 01:03:42,860 I just thought, since I worked the case with you... 1240 01:03:42,944 --> 01:03:44,195 And we're here. 1241 01:03:47,115 --> 01:03:48,241 Now, 1242 01:03:48,408 --> 01:03:51,619 you're all wondering why I gathered you here today. 1243 01:03:52,245 --> 01:03:55,289 Prepare yourself to be astonished. 1244 01:03:55,623 --> 01:03:56,958 The killer could only be a man 1245 01:03:57,041 --> 01:03:59,085 who knew my actions at every turn. 1246 01:03:59,627 --> 01:04:02,255 Who was present at every murder? 1247 01:04:03,715 --> 01:04:05,925 Who knows me better than anyone? 1248 01:04:06,384 --> 01:04:09,303 It was you who arranged my birthday party 1249 01:04:09,387 --> 01:04:12,056 and the cake which contained the first victim, 1250 01:04:12,265 --> 01:04:15,601 Initiating the events leading us to today. 1251 01:04:16,060 --> 01:04:18,896 Dr. Watson is the killer. 1252 01:04:21,983 --> 01:04:23,234 By studying my methods, 1253 01:04:23,317 --> 01:04:26,487 you created a fake crime only you could solve. 1254 01:04:26,571 --> 01:04:28,990 Why? I was to be so impressed 1255 01:04:29,198 --> 01:04:31,909 that I would crown him co-detective. 1256 01:04:32,035 --> 01:04:34,412 He wanted to rewrite history 1257 01:04:34,704 --> 01:04:36,497 by becoming my partner. 1258 01:04:40,293 --> 01:04:43,546 Okay. Now the part about how I could never have done it 1259 01:04:43,629 --> 01:04:45,590 and on to the surprising real killer. 1260 01:04:45,673 --> 01:04:47,216 I wonder who it's going to be. 1261 01:04:47,300 --> 01:04:49,469 When one eliminates the impossible, 1262 01:04:49,552 --> 01:04:52,388 whatever remains, however improbable, 1263 01:04:52,472 --> 01:04:53,723 is the truth. 1264 01:04:54,807 --> 01:04:56,726 But this is absurd. 1265 01:04:57,477 --> 01:04:58,996 Holmes, you must know in your heart... 1266 01:04:59,020 --> 01:05:00,980 The heart is for pumping blood. 1267 01:05:01,064 --> 01:05:03,608 The truth is the truth! 1268 01:05:04,025 --> 01:05:05,026 Truth 1269 01:05:05,860 --> 01:05:09,030 is that I have devoted my life to you. 1270 01:05:09,864 --> 01:05:11,199 And I was a fool to think 1271 01:05:11,282 --> 01:05:13,242 you would ever consider me as a co-detective 1272 01:05:13,326 --> 01:05:16,496 when you're incapable of thinking of me even as a friend! 1273 01:05:18,706 --> 01:05:20,333 Inspector Lestrade, take him. 1274 01:05:20,917 --> 01:05:21,959 Go on. 1275 01:05:22,043 --> 01:05:23,544 The man is your closest friend. 1276 01:05:23,628 --> 01:05:25,630 Your Pursuit of Moriarty has failed. 1277 01:05:25,713 --> 01:05:27,340 You have no suspects. 1278 01:05:27,590 --> 01:05:30,134 The killer still threatens to kill the Queen. 1279 01:05:30,218 --> 01:05:32,303 Is that a chance you're willing to take? 1280 01:05:33,054 --> 01:05:34,722 - Take him. - What? 1281 01:05:38,267 --> 01:05:40,311 Do you see his propensity for violence? 1282 01:05:40,394 --> 01:05:41,979 - Do you still doubt me? - Calm down. 1283 01:05:42,897 --> 01:05:47,652 I shall never again carry your blasted magnifying glasses 1284 01:05:48,653 --> 01:05:50,780 or your jars of urine. 1285 01:05:51,114 --> 01:05:52,657 Why are we even saving these? 1286 01:05:53,491 --> 01:05:56,661 And you look stupid in that hat. 1287 01:05:57,578 --> 01:06:00,665 Your head was not meant for hats. 1288 01:06:02,792 --> 01:06:05,002 Unhand me! No! 1289 01:06:05,086 --> 01:06:06,587 I'll never forget you, John. 1290 01:06:09,006 --> 01:06:10,299 Why? 1291 01:06:10,383 --> 01:06:14,470 John Watson devoted his life to you, and this is how you repay him? 1292 01:06:14,679 --> 01:06:18,391 Back to America with your ham-dogs and hot-burgers. 1293 01:06:18,474 --> 01:06:20,643 At least, in America, our system's fair. 1294 01:06:21,227 --> 01:06:23,479 No citizen can be found guilty 1295 01:06:23,563 --> 01:06:27,108 till his case is heard by a jury of white property-owning men. 1296 01:06:28,776 --> 01:06:31,362 Millie, surely, you must understand. 1297 01:06:40,496 --> 01:06:42,081 Fine, go! 1298 01:06:42,248 --> 01:06:44,959 I'm the greatest detective who ever lived. 1299 01:06:45,251 --> 01:06:47,461 You're welcome for solving this case. 1300 01:06:47,670 --> 01:06:47,962 Sherlock abandons Watson! 1301 01:06:47,963 --> 01:06:49,922 Sherlock abandons Watson! 1302 01:07:01,309 --> 01:07:03,895 Well, you've done it again, Sherlock. 1303 01:07:05,313 --> 01:07:06,814 Justice has been served. 1304 01:07:07,190 --> 01:07:09,859 And to think it was underneath your nose the whole time. 1305 01:07:10,526 --> 01:07:11,611 Watson. 1306 01:07:12,278 --> 01:07:13,696 Of course it was Watson. 1307 01:07:14,780 --> 01:07:16,949 It'll be nice to have the place to myself again. 1308 01:07:17,491 --> 01:07:21,704 Don't have to deal with his stupid medical stuff 1309 01:07:22,622 --> 01:07:26,459 or the constant badgering about being a co-detective. 1310 01:07:28,669 --> 01:07:31,547 And the incessant writing In his blasted journal. 1311 01:07:33,007 --> 01:07:35,259 "With each passing day on the case, 1312 01:07:35,343 --> 01:07:38,471 "my admiration for Sherlock grows and grows. 1313 01:07:42,683 --> 01:07:45,186 "I daresay he's more than a great detective. 1314 01:07:46,312 --> 01:07:47,605 "He's a great man. 1315 01:07:49,148 --> 01:07:50,858 "A treasure for Al I of London. 1316 01:07:52,443 --> 01:07:53,986 "And I shall always 1317 01:07:55,488 --> 01:07:57,406 "consider him my best friend." 1318 01:08:15,633 --> 01:08:16,884 A tear? 1319 01:08:18,427 --> 01:08:19,929 What is this tear? 1320 01:08:29,313 --> 01:08:30,773 I can't stop it. 1321 01:08:36,570 --> 01:08:39,198 What is this warm feeling in my chest? 1322 01:08:45,538 --> 01:08:48,708 Why am I reeling in confusion? 1323 01:08:50,001 --> 01:08:52,878 What is this fever in my head? 1324 01:08:53,671 --> 01:08:55,047 Is it pox? 1325 01:08:55,172 --> 01:08:56,424 Maybe gout 1326 01:08:56,632 --> 01:08:59,135 I can't seem to work it out 1327 01:08:59,635 --> 01:09:01,679 And why 1328 01:09:01,971 --> 01:09:04,890 Don't I feel triumphant? 1329 01:09:05,850 --> 01:09:08,602 And why does it seem less than right 1330 01:09:08,686 --> 01:09:11,605 That Watson's going to hang tonight 1331 01:09:11,689 --> 01:09:16,319 And gasp and thrash and choke until he's dead? 1332 01:09:16,819 --> 01:09:20,448 What is this strange sensation 1333 01:09:20,531 --> 01:09:23,284 Pounding in my Veins? 1334 01:09:23,451 --> 01:09:27,997 Why is fluid leaking from my eye? 1335 01:09:28,372 --> 01:09:31,334 Why do I ache with shame 1336 01:09:31,417 --> 01:09:34,545 While moaning Watson's name? 1337 01:09:34,879 --> 01:09:39,383 Wish I could deduce the reason why 1338 01:09:39,467 --> 01:09:41,844 How could I possibly deserve this? 1339 01:09:42,345 --> 01:09:44,722 How, when I've been his loyal friend? 1340 01:09:44,805 --> 01:09:46,182 Helped him work, took his side 1341 01:09:46,265 --> 01:09:47,850 Sung his praises far and wide 1342 01:09:47,933 --> 01:09:53,105 So why would he just betray me? 1343 01:09:53,439 --> 01:09:56,525 Now all those happy times with him 1344 01:09:56,609 --> 01:09:59,445 When I would go solve crimes with him 1345 01:09:59,528 --> 01:10:02,490 Are coming to a sad and lonely 1346 01:10:02,573 --> 01:10:05,368 Eyeball-popping, strangulating 1347 01:10:05,451 --> 01:10:08,871 Kicking, screaming end 1348 01:10:08,954 --> 01:10:12,583 What is this strange sensation? 1349 01:10:12,666 --> 01:10:15,294 Where did I go wrong? 1350 01:10:15,378 --> 01:10:18,506 Why am I a sobbing, trembling mess? 1351 01:10:18,589 --> 01:10:20,758 Soon my neck will snap in half 1352 01:10:20,841 --> 01:10:23,511 I guess - And yet I know somehow 1353 01:10:23,594 --> 01:10:27,056 - And yet right now - if he could hear right now 1354 01:10:27,139 --> 01:10:29,517 I would still forgive him 1355 01:10:32,186 --> 01:10:35,064 More or less 1356 01:10:35,815 --> 01:10:38,609 Please, I don't know Upon whom else to call 1357 01:10:38,692 --> 01:10:41,487 Nothing is making any sense at all 1358 01:10:41,570 --> 01:10:45,032 Speak! I need your voice To hear your voice 1359 01:10:45,116 --> 01:10:48,244 So sweet, so pure, so wise 1360 01:10:52,373 --> 01:10:56,043 Sometimes the irrational 1361 01:10:56,127 --> 01:10:59,630 ls truer than the rational 1362 01:10:59,713 --> 01:11:02,925 The heart can have its reasons 1363 01:11:03,008 --> 01:11:06,846 Which the head knows nothing of 1364 01:11:07,304 --> 01:11:10,224 Your brain says Watson rs guilty 1365 01:11:10,307 --> 01:11:14,395 But a stronger force says "No, he rs not" 1366 01:11:14,478 --> 01:11:16,188 What is that force? 1367 01:11:16,272 --> 01:11:18,190 - It's... It's... - Yes? What? 1368 01:11:18,274 --> 01:11:21,652 - It's love... - Love? 1369 01:11:21,861 --> 01:11:25,656 - It's love - It's love 1370 01:11:25,739 --> 01:11:27,783 - It's love - It's love 1371 01:11:27,867 --> 01:11:30,244 - It's love - It's love 1372 01:11:30,744 --> 01:11:31,871 My God. 1373 01:11:32,246 --> 01:11:33,789 Did I push Watson away 1374 01:11:33,873 --> 01:11:36,208 because I feared losing him to Grace? 1375 01:11:36,709 --> 01:11:38,836 Somehow, I know in my heart 1376 01:11:38,919 --> 01:11:41,338 In a way my brain can never know, 1377 01:11:41,630 --> 01:11:43,466 even a brain like mine, 1378 01:11:46,051 --> 01:11:47,678 Watson is innocent! 1379 01:11:48,179 --> 01:11:52,057 - Time to go and save - Come save me now 1380 01:11:52,141 --> 01:11:58,772 - The man I love - The man I love 1381 01:12:01,192 --> 01:12:02,193 Watson! 1382 01:12:02,276 --> 01:12:05,696 I discovered my emotions, and I'm only 46. 1383 01:12:05,905 --> 01:12:06,572 Hang! Hang! Hang! 1384 01:12:06,573 --> 01:12:07,990 Hang! Hang! Hang! 1385 01:12:12,369 --> 01:12:13,579 Oh, God. 1386 01:12:14,413 --> 01:12:16,123 Hang Dr. Watson! Hang Dr. Watson! 1387 01:12:16,707 --> 01:12:18,542 The dogs seem really unnecessary. 1388 01:12:19,251 --> 01:12:20,252 Sherlock. 1389 01:12:23,172 --> 01:12:24,298 It's you. 1390 01:12:25,424 --> 01:12:26,842 You've brought cake. 1391 01:12:34,266 --> 01:12:36,435 Watson! My brother! 1392 01:12:36,519 --> 01:12:38,145 Watson, where are you? 1393 01:12:38,479 --> 01:12:39,647 Where... 1394 01:12:39,772 --> 01:12:41,023 I'm too late. 1395 01:12:46,195 --> 01:12:47,363 Clever. 1396 01:12:47,780 --> 01:12:51,158 Very, very clever. 1397 01:12:57,289 --> 01:12:59,041 You were always so clever, 1398 01:12:59,833 --> 01:13:01,335 and I never appreciated it. 1399 01:13:03,003 --> 01:13:05,089 But it's not too late to make amends. 1400 01:13:05,172 --> 01:13:06,382 Watson! 1401 01:13:06,465 --> 01:13:08,842 I shouldn't have wasted all my time singing! 1402 01:13:14,390 --> 01:13:15,808 Grimy news kids. 1403 01:13:16,058 --> 01:13:17,643 I desperately need your help. 1404 01:13:17,893 --> 01:13:19,645 Dr. Watson's in grave danger. 1405 01:13:19,728 --> 01:13:21,230 Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. 1406 01:13:21,313 --> 01:13:22,773 Because of you, you wank! 1407 01:13:22,856 --> 01:13:23,941 I know. 1408 01:13:24,066 --> 01:13:25,693 But I know of a way to save him. 1409 01:13:25,859 --> 01:13:27,903 Please, please help me. 1410 01:13:28,153 --> 01:13:30,698 I must find a way to the docks immediately. 1411 01:13:34,410 --> 01:13:37,997 "Moriarty's daughter did the one thing Moriarty never could. 1412 01:13:38,080 --> 01:13:41,750 "She defeated Sherlock Holmes and assassinated the Queen. 1413 01:13:42,751 --> 01:13:45,296 "Sherlock Holmes, the man whom I regarded 1414 01:13:45,379 --> 01:13:49,133 "as the best and the wisest man whom I would ever know 1415 01:13:50,467 --> 01:13:53,012 "was a fraud ." 1416 01:13:56,682 --> 01:13:57,933 It is done. 1417 01:13:58,350 --> 01:14:01,103 A devilish plan worthy of your father. 1418 01:14:01,437 --> 01:14:05,399 The last book in the Sherlock Holmes canon is complete, 1419 01:14:06,233 --> 01:14:08,861 The Case of the Defeated Detective. 1420 01:14:09,278 --> 01:14:11,697 Daddy will be so proud. 1421 01:14:12,489 --> 01:14:13,991 Sherlock will be remembered 1422 01:14:14,074 --> 01:14:16,869 as the man who failed to protect the Queen. 1423 01:14:17,077 --> 01:14:18,746 History shall be rewritten 1424 01:14:18,829 --> 01:14:22,458 at the hand of his loyal partner, Dr. Watson. 1425 01:14:23,250 --> 01:14:24,752 I've done your bidding. 1426 01:14:25,210 --> 01:14:26,629 Now set me free. 1427 01:14:27,504 --> 01:14:29,298 You're gonna die here. 1428 01:14:29,965 --> 01:14:31,425 You gave me your word. 1429 01:14:31,508 --> 01:14:32,926 You swore on the life of the Queen. 1430 01:14:33,010 --> 01:14:36,472 I'm gonna kill the Queen, you big eejit. Boys! 1431 01:14:36,847 --> 01:14:38,349 Mrs. Hudson is the killer? 1432 01:14:38,807 --> 01:14:39,933 Gorblimey! 1433 01:14:40,017 --> 01:14:41,393 How'd you work that out? 1434 01:14:41,477 --> 01:14:43,437 Why, it was Watson who told me. 1435 01:14:43,771 --> 01:14:45,981 You see, beet sugar. 1436 01:14:46,315 --> 01:14:49,068 Mrs. Hudson's family recipe and Watson's favorite. 1437 01:14:49,151 --> 01:14:50,694 He never would have left crumbs behind 1438 01:14:50,778 --> 01:14:52,237 unless he was leaving me a clue. 1439 01:14:52,613 --> 01:14:55,699 For, you see, Mrs. Hudson's origins are not so humble. 1440 01:14:56,075 --> 01:14:59,745 She is none other than the daughter of Professor James Moriarty. 1441 01:14:59,828 --> 01:15:01,288 No, it ain't possible. 1442 01:15:01,372 --> 01:15:04,333 You see, Mrs. Hudson never knew her father. 1443 01:15:04,625 --> 01:15:06,001 He was never present. 1444 01:15:06,210 --> 01:15:09,755 To gain his love, she tried to pull off the greatest crime ever. 1445 01:15:09,922 --> 01:15:12,549 Destroy the great Sherlock Holmes. 1446 01:15:12,925 --> 01:15:16,261 She took a job at my house in order to study my methods, 1447 01:15:16,345 --> 01:15:19,473 then used a network of patsies to execute her plans. 1448 01:15:19,682 --> 01:15:22,518 However, it wasn't until I understood feelings 1449 01:15:22,601 --> 01:15:24,311 that I understood her motive, 1450 01:15:24,603 --> 01:15:26,814 her need for her father's love. 1451 01:15:27,398 --> 01:15:30,317 She would gain it by eliminating his greatest enemy, 1452 01:15:30,567 --> 01:15:31,694 me. 1453 01:15:31,860 --> 01:15:35,864 And tonight, she will commit her boldest crime yet, 1454 01:15:36,323 --> 01:15:39,201 killing the Queen here! 1455 01:15:39,868 --> 01:15:41,286 The Titanic. 1456 01:15:41,704 --> 01:15:43,205 The marvel of London. 1457 01:15:43,706 --> 01:15:46,542 A new castle, which runs on coal. 1458 01:15:47,710 --> 01:15:50,295 Your Majesty, may I introduce Lieutenant Morgan. 1459 01:15:50,379 --> 01:15:51,380 Lieutenant. 1460 01:15:52,131 --> 01:15:53,841 First Officer Carter. 1461 01:15:54,508 --> 01:15:56,510 - Your Majesty. - First Officer. 1462 01:15:57,052 --> 01:15:59,054 Look, Hudson's goons. 1463 01:15:59,638 --> 01:16:02,599 - Create a diversion. - You go and save Dr. Watson, Mr. Holmes. 1464 01:16:02,850 --> 01:16:04,017 We'll take care of this lot. 1465 01:16:04,101 --> 01:16:05,728 Come on, you tom tit! 1466 01:16:05,811 --> 01:16:07,813 You ain't bigger than a couple of powder monkeys. 1467 01:16:09,398 --> 01:16:11,066 Is there a problem, boys? 1468 01:16:11,734 --> 01:16:13,277 Think we can take them, lads. 1469 01:16:13,819 --> 01:16:15,904 Walk away now, and I promise you won't get hurt. 1470 01:16:15,988 --> 01:16:18,532 A bunch of Runts and a couple of ladies? 1471 01:16:18,615 --> 01:16:20,033 American ladies. 1472 01:16:24,997 --> 01:16:26,248 Not my eyes! 1473 01:16:31,128 --> 01:16:33,714 I'm sorry to do this, Dr. Watson. 1474 01:16:33,797 --> 01:16:36,425 I'm gonna crush your head. 1475 01:16:36,508 --> 01:16:39,344 There's gonna be brains everywhere. 1476 01:16:39,428 --> 01:16:41,930 And I'll not be cleaning up after. 1477 01:16:42,014 --> 01:16:43,174 I know you're threatening me, 1478 01:16:43,223 --> 01:16:45,142 but I can't understand a word you're saying. 1479 01:16:45,934 --> 01:16:48,353 You're staying, Dr. Watson, 1480 01:16:48,437 --> 01:16:51,940 but I'll be on my way to America by the ti me the bomb explodes. 1481 01:16:52,232 --> 01:16:53,609 Sherlock will save me. 1482 01:16:53,692 --> 01:16:55,277 - You'll see. - I'll see. 1483 01:16:55,611 --> 01:16:57,070 He won't let me down. 1484 01:16:57,446 --> 01:16:59,656 He won't. He's my best friend! 1485 01:17:01,200 --> 01:17:02,409 Dollface! 1486 01:17:07,206 --> 01:17:08,248 Come on, boys. 1487 01:17:08,332 --> 01:17:11,084 - The bomb goes off in 10 minutes. - Sherlock! 1488 01:17:11,752 --> 01:17:13,754 Sherlock! 1489 01:17:14,463 --> 01:17:16,548 Help! Help! 1490 01:17:16,632 --> 01:17:18,300 Sherlock! 1491 01:17:18,926 --> 01:17:20,260 Help! 1492 01:17:21,720 --> 01:17:22,805 Watson! 1493 01:17:25,224 --> 01:17:29,061 Oh, God, if you save me, I'll never touch myself again. 1494 01:17:29,144 --> 01:17:31,355 - Watson! - Oh, Sherlock. 1495 01:17:31,563 --> 01:17:33,273 You've come for me. I knew you would. 1496 01:17:33,357 --> 01:17:35,484 Watson, good news. 1497 01:17:35,651 --> 01:17:36,944 You're innocent. 1498 01:17:37,861 --> 01:17:39,613 Yes. I know. 1499 01:17:40,072 --> 01:17:41,240 Thank you. 1500 01:17:41,907 --> 01:17:43,742 - Can you forgive me? - Of course. 1501 01:17:43,826 --> 01:17:46,328 Now, be a good chap, and get me out of this damn thing 1502 01:17:46,411 --> 01:17:47,955 before it crushes my skull. 1503 01:17:48,247 --> 01:17:49,790 Yes? There's a good chap. Go on. 1504 01:17:50,707 --> 01:17:52,376 I won't leave you. Not again. 1505 01:17:52,459 --> 01:17:54,753 That's a lovely sentiment, but I really need you 1506 01:17:54,837 --> 01:17:56,505 to free me from this gear right now. 1507 01:17:56,880 --> 01:17:59,007 Emotions are spewing from my heart. 1508 01:17:59,466 --> 01:18:01,093 - Pull yourself together. - Okay. 1509 01:18:01,176 --> 01:18:02,261 Stop crying. 1510 01:18:02,344 --> 01:18:04,784 Because we must get the Queen and everyone else off this ship. 1511 01:18:04,847 --> 01:18:06,640 You see, Hudson has planted a bomb. 1512 01:18:06,723 --> 01:18:08,517 A time bomb, you see? 1513 01:18:08,600 --> 01:18:10,644 - You must free me. - Do you feel my heart ticking? 1514 01:18:10,727 --> 01:18:12,271 Get me off this fucking wheel! 1515 01:18:12,729 --> 01:18:15,357 All my dreams are coming true. 1516 01:18:15,440 --> 01:18:19,570 In just two minutes, my bomb will go off, killing the Queen. 1517 01:18:19,820 --> 01:18:21,989 Sherlock Holmes will go down in history 1518 01:18:22,072 --> 01:18:25,492 as the worst detective the world has ever known. 1519 01:18:25,576 --> 01:18:28,996 And the name Moriarty will live on forever! 1520 01:18:31,081 --> 01:18:32,291 Father, 1521 01:18:32,833 --> 01:18:35,127 soon, we shall be together again. 1522 01:18:35,586 --> 01:18:37,963 - In America! - Yeah! 1523 01:18:45,512 --> 01:18:48,140 The bomb will detonate in one minute. 1524 01:18:48,265 --> 01:18:49,975 Where could it possibly be? 1525 01:18:51,393 --> 01:18:52,561 Wait. 1526 01:18:52,811 --> 01:18:54,521 That kettle drum. 1527 01:18:54,730 --> 01:18:57,774 Those are only ever used in mounted cavalry formations, 1528 01:18:57,858 --> 01:18:59,318 never in a Marine band. 1529 01:18:59,943 --> 01:19:01,069 Perhaps... 1530 01:19:01,153 --> 01:19:03,822 The bomb is in the drum. Very good, Watson. 1531 01:19:03,906 --> 01:19:05,616 But the Queen is standing just beside it. 1532 01:19:05,699 --> 01:19:07,075 She'll be blown to smithereens. 1533 01:19:07,159 --> 01:19:08,994 But how to defuse it in time? 1534 01:19:10,370 --> 01:19:13,957 Time remaining until bomb detonation, 55 seconds. 1535 01:19:14,166 --> 01:19:17,628 Estimated blast radius from bomb, 1 7 feet. 1536 01:19:17,711 --> 01:19:20,797 Time required to move queen to safety, 1 2 seconds. 1537 01:19:20,881 --> 01:19:22,716 Solution, move through crowd, 1538 01:19:22,799 --> 01:19:25,928 see Millie for the first time, forget about bomb... 1539 01:19:26,011 --> 01:19:27,095 No. 1540 01:19:31,099 --> 01:19:32,976 Time remaining, 37 seconds. 1541 01:19:33,060 --> 01:19:35,520 Solution, shoot water main to douse bomb, 1542 01:19:35,604 --> 01:19:37,522 remember Millie at the park, forget about bomb. 1543 01:19:37,606 --> 01:19:38,857 No, I forgot about the bomb! 1544 01:19:43,195 --> 01:19:45,781 Watson, what are you doing in my brain? 1545 01:19:45,864 --> 01:19:47,157 I'm doing it. 1546 01:19:47,240 --> 01:19:49,826 I'm communicating without words. 1547 01:19:49,910 --> 01:19:52,496 I can't focus. I was trying to formulate a plan, 1548 01:19:52,579 --> 01:19:54,498 and I kept getting off track. 1549 01:19:54,581 --> 01:19:57,125 Holmes, no, you don't. Snap out of it. 1550 01:19:57,209 --> 01:19:58,835 I can't. I'm too emotional. 1551 01:19:58,919 --> 01:20:01,463 Look behind me. The Queen's being blown to bits. 1552 01:20:01,630 --> 01:20:03,173 You have to take control. 1553 01:20:03,340 --> 01:20:05,384 You must be detective for both of us. 1554 01:20:05,550 --> 01:20:06,677 Right. 1555 01:20:08,220 --> 01:20:09,596 I know what I must do. 1556 01:20:09,763 --> 01:20:11,431 Estimated blast radius, 1557 01:20:11,765 --> 01:20:13,558 20.. . No, 30 feet? 1558 01:20:13,642 --> 01:20:14,762 Account for ship's movement. 1559 01:20:14,810 --> 01:20:16,687 Wait. Is that a four or a seven? 1560 01:20:16,770 --> 01:20:18,563 Math is so hard. Hold on. 1561 01:20:18,647 --> 01:20:20,524 What does that "X" mean? Or is that a plus? 1562 01:20:20,607 --> 01:20:22,317 What is that thing? Angle of approach? 1563 01:20:22,401 --> 01:20:25,041 I don't know how to do angles. Should have listened more in school. 1564 01:20:25,112 --> 01:20:26,697 Oh, screw it. Charge! 1565 01:20:28,615 --> 01:20:29,866 Out of my way! 1566 01:20:30,033 --> 01:20:31,201 Move! 1567 01:20:31,702 --> 01:20:34,162 Nine, eight... 1568 01:20:34,371 --> 01:20:35,539 Coming through! 1569 01:20:35,872 --> 01:20:37,624 - So sorry! - Seven... 1570 01:20:38,667 --> 01:20:39,835 Come on. 1571 01:20:39,960 --> 01:20:41,128 Move your tuchis! 1572 01:20:41,503 --> 01:20:42,671 Sorry, friend! 1573 01:20:44,506 --> 01:20:45,590 Five, 1574 01:20:46,425 --> 01:20:47,509 four... 1575 01:20:50,470 --> 01:20:51,680 two... 1576 01:20:56,560 --> 01:20:57,686 Shit! 1577 01:21:03,525 --> 01:21:04,693 Huzzah. 1578 01:21:04,901 --> 01:21:06,903 Huzzah for Sherlock Holmes. 1579 01:21:06,987 --> 01:21:09,614 Sherlock Holmes saved the Titanic. 1580 01:21:10,532 --> 01:21:12,701 - Huzzah! - Hurrah for Sherlock! 1581 01:21:12,784 --> 01:21:13,785 Bravo, Sherlock! 1582 01:21:13,869 --> 01:21:15,954 Sherlock Holmes was right about everything! 1583 01:21:16,038 --> 01:21:17,414 Hip hip hooray! 1584 01:21:18,165 --> 01:21:20,042 Thank you. Thank you. 1585 01:21:21,084 --> 01:21:23,879 But I could never have done it without Dr. Watson. 1586 01:21:23,962 --> 01:21:28,258 - Oh, no. - Let Watson's name be forever associated 1587 01:21:28,341 --> 01:21:29,593 with the Titanic. 1588 01:21:30,010 --> 01:21:34,514 So, when you think of your friends and relatives on board the Titanic, 1589 01:21:34,598 --> 01:21:36,141 just remember, 1590 01:21:36,224 --> 01:21:40,771 Dr. John H. Watson put them there. 1591 01:21:41,271 --> 01:21:42,481 Hooray for Watson! 1592 01:21:42,898 --> 01:21:44,399 Bloody good we didn't hang him. 1593 01:21:46,234 --> 01:21:47,778 Dr. Watson, 1594 01:21:48,528 --> 01:21:49,863 you saved us. 1595 01:21:50,322 --> 01:21:51,406 Thank you. 1596 01:21:52,032 --> 01:21:54,409 It has been my pleasure to serve you, Your Majesty. 1597 01:22:11,009 --> 01:22:12,302 No, Millie. 1598 01:22:22,979 --> 01:22:24,481 I have a confession to make. 1599 01:22:25,107 --> 01:22:27,359 I'm not actually in love with you. 1600 01:22:27,776 --> 01:22:29,945 In order to conclude my investigation, 1601 01:22:30,028 --> 01:22:33,156 it was imperative that I understood what love felt like. 1602 01:22:33,615 --> 01:22:35,075 I'm sorry to have led you on. 1603 01:22:36,201 --> 01:22:37,702 I have a confession as well. 1604 01:22:37,911 --> 01:22:39,412 I was also not in love. 1605 01:22:39,538 --> 01:22:40,997 I was conducting an experiment 1606 01:22:41,081 --> 01:22:43,166 on how easy it is to manipulate the male ego. 1607 01:22:44,000 --> 01:22:46,545 - What? - I'm sorry I led you on. 1608 01:22:47,212 --> 01:22:49,548 Well, I have another confession. 1609 01:22:50,215 --> 01:22:52,217 I was just pretending to have a big ego 1610 01:22:52,300 --> 01:22:55,011 so as to make you think that your experiment was working 1611 01:22:55,095 --> 01:22:57,180 so that I could conclude my experiment on you. 1612 01:22:57,264 --> 01:22:58,765 Well, I had to lead you on 1613 01:22:58,849 --> 01:23:01,560 because I was doing an experiment about how men think 1614 01:23:01,643 --> 01:23:03,621 they can manipulate female scientists while they're doing experiments. 1615 01:23:03,645 --> 01:23:05,480 Well, I have another confession to make. 1616 01:23:17,117 --> 01:23:20,203 You will be shocked to learn that was my first kiss. 1617 01:23:20,912 --> 01:23:23,373 Mine as well, and we've already mastered it. 1618 01:23:23,456 --> 01:23:24,541 Yes, indeed. 1619 01:23:24,833 --> 01:23:26,501 Al I aboard! 1620 01:23:26,668 --> 01:23:29,212 She sails in 20 minutes! 1621 01:23:29,296 --> 01:23:31,173 Hurry, everyone! Step lively! 1622 01:23:31,256 --> 01:23:33,842 Enjoy your trip on the safest ship to sail. 1623 01:23:33,925 --> 01:23:35,093 Goodbye. 1624 01:23:35,343 --> 01:23:36,511 Farewell, Grace. 1625 01:23:36,845 --> 01:23:37,846 Goodbye, Millie. 1626 01:23:37,929 --> 01:23:40,307 Make sure you get plenty of bed rest. 1627 01:23:40,640 --> 01:23:42,267 There's a good chance you're pregnant. 1628 01:23:42,350 --> 01:23:43,351 I hope so. 1629 01:23:43,435 --> 01:23:45,061 From... From the kissing? 1630 01:23:46,605 --> 01:23:48,315 - Yes. - Oh, yes. 1631 01:23:49,691 --> 01:23:51,318 What a grand ship. 1632 01:23:51,401 --> 01:23:52,402 Yes. 1633 01:23:53,486 --> 01:23:54,529 Watson, look. 1634 01:23:55,697 --> 01:23:56,990 It's Billy Zane. 1635 01:23:57,949 --> 01:23:59,034 Sherlock. 1636 01:24:00,702 --> 01:24:02,746 Wow. He's breathtaking. 1637 01:24:03,830 --> 01:24:05,207 Where's the bar on this canoe? 1638 01:24:10,253 --> 01:24:11,546 Holmes. 1639 01:24:12,088 --> 01:24:14,341 I believe I may have solved the one mystery 1640 01:24:14,424 --> 01:24:16,593 which has baffled you Al I these years. 1641 01:24:17,761 --> 01:24:18,929 What? 1642 01:24:22,641 --> 01:24:23,767 Would you mind? 1643 01:24:27,354 --> 01:24:28,480 Do you I Ike it? 1644 01:24:28,605 --> 01:24:29,898 Let's see here. 1645 01:24:31,066 --> 01:24:32,234 Oh, it suits you. 1646 01:24:33,109 --> 01:24:35,320 - I think it's perfect. - Really? 1647 01:24:35,612 --> 01:24:38,615 - You're not just saying that? - No, I'm not just saying it. 1648 01:24:39,115 --> 01:24:40,784 - Good. - Thank you, Watson. 1649 01:24:41,284 --> 01:24:43,078 And I have something for you as well. 1650 01:24:43,161 --> 01:24:45,538 - No. No. - Please. Step over here. 1651 01:24:45,622 --> 01:24:48,208 Why? I don't deserve anything. 1652 01:24:49,876 --> 01:24:50,877 My dear Watson. 1653 01:24:51,962 --> 01:24:53,046 What do you think? 1654 01:24:53,588 --> 01:24:55,006 It's beautiful. 1655 01:25:22,784 --> 01:25:25,078 Telegram for Professor Moriarty. 1656 01:25:27,747 --> 01:25:28,748 Professor? 1657 01:25:36,214 --> 01:25:37,966 Boy, who sent this? 1658 01:25:37,990 --> 01:25:39,990 By: VALESMR