1 00:01:00,910 --> 00:01:02,850 [ Woman Narrating ] Globotech Industries, 2 00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:04,940 long recognized as the worldwide leader... 3 00:01:05,020 --> 00:01:08,550 in high tech weaponry, is now reaching even higher. 4 00:01:08,620 --> 00:01:11,490 Under the leadership of C.E.O. Gil Mars, 5 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:13,550 Globotech engineers are blazing the trail... 6 00:01:13,630 --> 00:01:16,150 into tomorrow's most exciting market sector, 7 00:01:16,230 --> 00:01:18,890 introducing advanced battlefield technology... 8 00:01:18,970 --> 00:01:21,630 into consumer products for the whole family. 9 00:01:21,700 --> 00:01:24,570 For the first time, you and yours will enjoy... 10 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:26,570 the same high-quality standards as demanded... 11 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:30,010 by the U.S. Defense Department at private sector prices. 12 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:34,840 Globotech-- turning swords into plowshares for you and your family. 13 00:02:00,340 --> 00:02:02,240 He's here. He's early. 14 00:02:02,310 --> 00:02:04,970 He's not supposed to be here yet. 15 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:07,010 He said-- Okay. 16 00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:09,010 Slamfist Ocula. Good. Check. 17 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:12,750 - [ Squeaks ] - [ Whispering ] Chickens. 18 00:02:12,820 --> 00:02:15,750 - Hey. - Hey. Let me help you with these. 19 00:02:15,820 --> 00:02:17,760 Pretty exciting, huh? 20 00:02:17,820 --> 00:02:20,730 I don't know. l think it kinda-- it's kinda sad. l mean-- 21 00:02:20,790 --> 00:02:22,730 You know, Heartland Toys has a long tradition... 22 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:24,730 of bringing joy to kids, you know? 23 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:26,730 Gil Mars isn't going to care about any of that. 24 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:28,730 He's just going to care about profits. 25 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:31,000 - l think it sucks. - Welcome to Earth, lrwin. 26 00:02:31,070 --> 00:02:33,000 You may not be familiar with our customs, 27 00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:35,300 but this is pretty much the way things work down here in the real world. 28 00:02:35,380 --> 00:02:37,400 Yeah, well, the real world sucks. 29 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:39,380 It does have its perks. 30 00:02:40,980 --> 00:02:43,810 Gentlemen. I'm Ms. Kegel, 31 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:45,980 executive assistant to Mr. Mars. 32 00:02:46,050 --> 00:02:47,990 Hello. 33 00:02:48,050 --> 00:02:50,610 Let me be the first to welcome you to the Globotech family. 34 00:02:50,690 --> 00:02:52,590 - Okay. - Just as he's done with his computer, 35 00:02:52,660 --> 00:02:55,030 electronics, telecommunications, munitions, 36 00:02:55,090 --> 00:02:57,030 chemical and food divisions, 37 00:02:57,100 --> 00:03:00,620 Mr. Mars intends to bring his own personal touch to Heartland Play Systems. 38 00:03:00,700 --> 00:03:02,600 Oh. Well, that's good. 39 00:03:03,670 --> 00:03:06,000 [ Sighs ] Okay. 40 00:03:06,070 --> 00:03:08,010 All right. Uh-- 41 00:03:08,070 --> 00:03:12,910 These are-- W-Where's everybody else? 42 00:03:12,980 --> 00:03:15,880 - There is no longer any ""everybody else."" - Mr. Mars, I'm Larry Benson. 43 00:03:15,950 --> 00:03:18,140 - l wanted to tell you what an honor it is-- - Cut the kiss-ass, pal. 44 00:03:18,220 --> 00:03:20,780 Two minutes after l leave this room, l won't remember your name. 45 00:03:20,850 --> 00:03:22,790 - This is lrwin Wayfair. - Great. 46 00:03:22,860 --> 00:03:24,880 It's been brought to my attention that you two are responsible for this. 47 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:27,020 Yes, sir. That's Flatchoo. 48 00:03:27,090 --> 00:03:29,030 He's part of the Belch Brigade. 49 00:03:29,100 --> 00:03:31,500 Yeah. A-Actually, the whole line was, uh, lrwin's idea. 50 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:35,020 - [ Belches, Farts ] - [ Chuckles ] 51 00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:37,630 But once l refined the concept and created the marketing campaign, 52 00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:39,830 it was the most successful product launched in company history. 53 00:03:39,910 --> 00:03:43,810 That's why l bought the place. And that's why you two are still on board. 54 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:46,180 So, let's talk about the future. 55 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:53,550 Oh, uh-- Yes. Okay. 56 00:03:53,620 --> 00:03:55,650 These are Gorgonites, sir. And they're-- 57 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:57,990 - Hi. How are you today? - I'm late. 58 00:03:58,060 --> 00:04:00,030 All right. Uh-- 59 00:04:00,090 --> 00:04:01,960 Here's-- l drew up some pictures. 60 00:04:02,030 --> 00:04:04,550 That's a picture you can have. 61 00:04:05,630 --> 00:04:07,730 Here's a-- All right, uh-- 62 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:10,700 All right. These are Gorgonites, sir. And, uh, this one-- 63 00:04:10,770 --> 00:04:15,070 This is Archer. He's the, uh, grand noble leader of the-- 64 00:04:15,140 --> 00:04:17,630 Okay. And, uh-- Troglokhan, 65 00:04:17,710 --> 00:04:20,940 the navigator who-who navigates. 66 00:04:21,010 --> 00:04:23,510 Okay. Well, they're-- These are monsters... 67 00:04:23,580 --> 00:04:25,680 who come from The Land of Gorgon, and they've come to our world. 68 00:04:25,750 --> 00:04:27,690 They're lost, and now in order to get back to Gorgon, 69 00:04:27,750 --> 00:04:31,520 they have to, uh, find out as much stuff about our world as possible. 70 00:04:31,590 --> 00:04:33,680 And this way, the kids can learn and do research-- 71 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:38,750 - Excuse me. Did you say ""learn?"" - Learn. Learn, yeah. 72 00:04:38,830 --> 00:04:41,270 Next. 73 00:04:41,570 --> 00:04:44,540 Mr. Mars. 74 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:47,660 Allow me to introduce you to... 75 00:04:49,380 --> 00:04:51,310 Major... 76 00:04:53,550 --> 00:04:57,180 Chip Hazard, leader of the Commando Elite. 77 00:04:58,850 --> 00:05:01,790 It's called ""multimedia,"" lrwin. 78 00:05:01,850 --> 00:05:03,790 Look into it. 79 00:05:06,690 --> 00:05:09,250 [ Man Narrating ] The future is here. 80 00:05:09,330 --> 00:05:13,360 A new age has dawned... 81 00:05:13,430 --> 00:05:15,990 for action. 82 00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:25,970 The world's most awesome, high tech fighting force... 83 00:05:26,050 --> 00:05:28,980 is ready to battle for the next millennium. 84 00:05:29,050 --> 00:05:32,420 - Chip Hazard, reporting for duty! - Hey, w-w-wait a minute! 85 00:05:32,490 --> 00:05:36,180 - Hold on. Hold on. Wait. - These are the greatest toys I've ever had! 86 00:05:36,260 --> 00:05:38,350 - Can they-- Can they really do that? - Do what? 87 00:05:38,420 --> 00:05:41,550 - The thing where he punches his way out of the box. - No. 88 00:05:41,630 --> 00:05:43,650 I didn't think so. 89 00:05:43,730 --> 00:05:48,060 There's a disclaimer. l mean, legal says we're completely covered. 90 00:05:48,130 --> 00:05:50,100 - You know what I'm sick of? - [ TV Continues, indistinct ] 91 00:05:50,170 --> 00:05:52,100 I'm sick of commercials that show four-by-four trucks... 92 00:05:52,170 --> 00:05:54,110 popping up to the top of Mt. Rushmore... 93 00:05:54,170 --> 00:05:56,110 and parking on top of Abraham Lincoln's head. 94 00:05:56,180 --> 00:05:58,110 Okay? I'm sick of shampoo commercials that try to convince women... 95 00:05:58,180 --> 00:06:01,610 they can look like Claudia Schiffer after one cycle of rinse and repeat. 96 00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:05,110 What if these toys actually could talk? 97 00:06:05,180 --> 00:06:07,120 What if they could walk? 98 00:06:07,190 --> 00:06:09,710 - What if they could actually kick ass? - Nick Nitro! 99 00:06:09,790 --> 00:06:12,160 I'm talkin' about toys that are so smart, 100 00:06:12,230 --> 00:06:14,160 when kids play with 'em, they play back. 101 00:06:14,230 --> 00:06:16,160 Toys in short, gentlemen, 102 00:06:16,230 --> 00:06:18,630 that actually do what they do in the commercials. 103 00:06:18,700 --> 00:06:20,890 Well, that's an interesting idea. 104 00:06:20,970 --> 00:06:22,900 Forget about this batteries-not-included crap. 105 00:06:22,970 --> 00:06:25,560 We're gonna stick in a lifetime Globotech lithium cell. 106 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:27,730 Keep these things runnin' forever. 107 00:06:27,810 --> 00:06:30,330 - That'll piss off the guys at Eveready. - Yeah. 108 00:06:30,410 --> 00:06:34,400 Hey, how's this for a slogan: The Commando Elite. Anything else is just a toy. 109 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:36,950 Everything else is just a toy. 110 00:06:37,020 --> 00:06:38,950 Th-Th-That's good too. 111 00:06:39,020 --> 00:06:40,950 - Sure. - Uh, sir? 112 00:06:41,020 --> 00:06:43,510 Uh, you know, that kind of computing power... 113 00:06:43,590 --> 00:06:46,250 - doesn't really seem feasible right now, and, and-- - lrwin. lrwin. 114 00:06:46,330 --> 00:06:49,420 We're members of the Globotech family. Surely we can hunt down the technology. 115 00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:51,730 We can make missiles that can hunt down one unlucky bastard... 116 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:54,790 7,000 miles away and stick a nuclear warhead right up his ass. 117 00:06:54,870 --> 00:06:56,800 I don't think we're going to have a problem with this. 118 00:06:56,870 --> 00:06:58,800 Now, these guys are soldiers, right? And what do soldiers need? 119 00:06:58,870 --> 00:07:01,570 - Hats? - Cam-Cam-Camouflage? 120 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:04,670 - Ms. Kegel? - Enemies, sir. 121 00:07:04,740 --> 00:07:08,770 Enemies. See, these hideous, ugly freaks-- These guys are the enemy. 122 00:07:08,850 --> 00:07:11,010 And our guys have to seek 'em out and vaporize 'em. 123 00:07:12,090 --> 00:07:14,050 Well, no, they're not-- 124 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:18,020 Sir? Um, don't you think that's a bit violent? 125 00:07:18,090 --> 00:07:21,030 Exactly. So don't call it violence. Call it action. 126 00:07:21,090 --> 00:07:23,760 Kids love action. it sells. 127 00:07:23,830 --> 00:07:25,820 Besides, what're you worried about? 128 00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:27,830 They're only toys. 129 00:07:29,900 --> 00:07:34,400 I can't believe this. This is wrong. This is really wrong. 130 00:07:34,470 --> 00:07:36,770 I mean-- You know, this is a-a total perversion... 131 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:38,870 of everything l designed these Gorgonites to be. 132 00:07:38,950 --> 00:07:40,110 Oh, would you can it, lrwin. Come on. 133 00:07:40,180 --> 00:07:42,270 This is a golden opportunity. if we pull this off, 134 00:07:42,350 --> 00:07:45,510 - we will have Gil Mars eating out of our hands. - And by the way, gentlemen, 135 00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:49,180 Mr. Mars expects the product to be ready for shipment in three months. 136 00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:53,090 - Three months? - No, no, no, no, no. 137 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:55,960 It takes at least six months. There's product testing and focus groups-- 138 00:07:56,030 --> 00:07:59,520 Three months is fine. Tell Mr. Mars in three months, everything will be ready. 139 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:02,830 All right, then. Now, these are your security cards. 140 00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:04,840 These will give you unlimited access... 141 00:08:04,900 --> 00:08:07,240 to all top secret Global-Technology. 142 00:08:07,310 --> 00:08:10,400 And these are your individual secret passwords. 143 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,410 Please take a moment to memorize them now. 144 00:08:15,110 --> 00:08:17,050 [ Chuckles ] Mine's ""Gizmo."" 145 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:19,050 l said, secret. 146 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:21,110 Well, but-- 147 00:08:25,730 --> 00:08:30,960 Password-- Password-- [ Whispering ] What's my password? 148 00:08:31,030 --> 00:08:34,090 Pass-- 149 00:08:34,170 --> 00:08:36,100 Gizmo. 150 00:08:39,610 --> 00:08:42,340 Let's find us some chips. 151 00:08:45,610 --> 00:08:48,210 Um, some really good chips. 152 00:08:50,220 --> 00:08:52,150 A lot of really good chips. 153 00:08:57,460 --> 00:08:59,390 The X 1000. 154 00:09:00,860 --> 00:09:02,790 Hello, Mr. Chips. 155 00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:13,550 This looks like a nice store. Look at those toys. 156 00:11:13,630 --> 00:11:16,560 Come on, Grandma. This place never has anything good. 157 00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:25,440 [ Toy Train Horn Whistling ] 158 00:11:45,190 --> 00:11:47,130 Hey, Alan. 159 00:11:48,930 --> 00:11:50,860 How's the world treatin' you? 160 00:11:50,930 --> 00:11:52,860 You, Joe, are the highlight of my day. 161 00:11:52,930 --> 00:11:54,920 Well, geez, kid. Tough break. 162 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,990 - New truck? - New owner. See? 163 00:11:58,940 --> 00:12:01,410 Yeah. Pretty soon, everything in the world's... 164 00:12:01,470 --> 00:12:03,470 gonna be owned by one giant corporation. 165 00:12:03,540 --> 00:12:05,480 Then it's good-bye microbreweries. 166 00:12:05,540 --> 00:12:08,010 So, uh, where's your dad? l got his order here. 167 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:11,050 Uh, he's goin' out of town tonight. Some seminar. 168 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:13,280 Wait a second. He left you in charge? 169 00:12:13,350 --> 00:12:16,050 Hey, l was as surprised as you. 170 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:18,650 I think he's finally startin' to trust me again. 171 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:21,350 Or maybe he didn't have a choice. 172 00:12:21,430 --> 00:12:23,920 So, what's the seminar your dad's going to? 173 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,690 ""How to Make a Success of Your Small Business."" 174 00:12:26,770 --> 00:12:30,360 - My suggestion was torch the place. - Not a good idea. 175 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:32,930 Arson forensics nowadays is very sophisticated. 176 00:12:34,410 --> 00:12:36,340 [ Sighs ] 177 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:40,740 ""Gorgonites and Commando Elite."" 178 00:12:40,810 --> 00:12:42,910 What are those? 179 00:12:44,580 --> 00:12:46,520 Let's find out. 180 00:12:54,930 --> 00:12:56,860 Ten-hut! 181 00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:01,330 Major Chip Hazard, reporting for duty, sir. 182 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:04,230 - [ Chuckles ] - Wow! Voice activated. 183 00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:06,240 Not bad. 184 00:13:06,310 --> 00:13:08,240 Yeah. They move, they talk. 185 00:13:08,310 --> 00:13:10,330 They got a built-in two-way radio. 186 00:13:10,410 --> 00:13:13,340 ""Buy a second commando and communicate with a friend."" 187 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,010 Halt! Who goes there? 188 00:13:20,350 --> 00:13:23,690 Greetings. l am Archer, emissary of the Gorgonites. 189 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:25,720 [ Gasps, Chuckles ] 190 00:13:25,790 --> 00:13:28,590 Awfully polite for a monster. 191 00:13:28,660 --> 00:13:30,860 Hey, you never have to replace the battery. 192 00:13:30,930 --> 00:13:33,560 Now that's a good thing. 193 00:13:33,630 --> 00:13:38,190 Hey, Joe, do you think you could, like, front me a set of these? 194 00:13:38,270 --> 00:13:40,360 - What? - You know, just sort of lend it to me. 195 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:42,370 You got plenty in the truck. 196 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:45,380 Yeah. That's Toy World's inventory for the month. 197 00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:47,670 This order's paid for. l don't want to get my ticket pulled. 198 00:13:47,750 --> 00:13:49,680 I'll pay you back after l sell them. 199 00:13:49,750 --> 00:13:51,770 Yeah, and what about your dad's policy? No war toys. 200 00:13:51,850 --> 00:13:55,690 Don't worry about my dad. By the time he gets back, they'll all be sold. 201 00:13:55,750 --> 00:13:57,690 And this place will have made a little money for once. 202 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:01,450 [ Grunts ] l don't know. That's-- 203 00:14:01,530 --> 00:14:04,760 What? Are you saying that never in your entire career... 204 00:14:04,830 --> 00:14:07,490 has anything just fallen off the back of the truck? 205 00:14:07,570 --> 00:14:10,260 - I don't like your tone. - Sorry. 206 00:14:10,340 --> 00:14:13,670 It's too loud. 207 00:14:13,740 --> 00:14:16,500 Okay. One whole set. 208 00:14:16,580 --> 00:14:18,980 I'll, uh, lose the paperwork someplace. 209 00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:21,240 - This better not come back and bite me on the ass. - it won't. 210 00:14:21,310 --> 00:14:25,370 -l swear. -And you've gotta get 'em off the truck. 211 00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:27,680 I hope you know what you're doin'. l could get in big trouble for this. 212 00:14:27,750 --> 00:14:29,690 - No one's gonna know. - They'd better not. 213 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:32,660 These toys don't go on sale officially until Monday. 214 00:14:32,730 --> 00:14:34,780 I could lose my job. Lose my house. 215 00:14:34,860 --> 00:14:36,830 Lose my wife. [ Chuckles ] 216 00:14:52,610 --> 00:14:54,550 Thanks, Joe. l owe you one. 217 00:14:54,610 --> 00:14:56,550 You owe me 12. 218 00:14:58,950 --> 00:15:00,820 Good luck, kid. 219 00:15:19,540 --> 00:15:21,470 Freeze! 220 00:15:22,780 --> 00:15:25,300 [ Soft Rock On Loudspeaker ] 221 00:15:42,030 --> 00:15:43,960 [ Bell Jingling ] 222 00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:46,160 But l wanted to go to Toy World. 223 00:15:46,230 --> 00:15:48,170 Well, life is full of disappointments. 224 00:15:48,230 --> 00:15:51,500 Go look around. His birthday's next week. 225 00:15:51,570 --> 00:15:54,630 - My mom told me to take him shopping. - Great! 226 00:15:54,710 --> 00:15:56,640 What kind of stuff is he into? 227 00:15:56,710 --> 00:15:58,900 Oh, you know. Dinosaurs, mutant freaks. 228 00:15:58,980 --> 00:16:00,880 Anything that maims, kills or destroys. 229 00:16:00,950 --> 00:16:04,010 - Well, l just got in some, uh-- - Oh, you're Alan Abernathy. 230 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:06,550 You moved into the house behind mine. 231 00:16:06,620 --> 00:16:08,550 I've heard about you. 232 00:16:08,620 --> 00:16:10,650 - You have? - Yeah. 233 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,620 So, how come l never see you after school? 234 00:16:13,690 --> 00:16:16,220 Well, I'm kinda stuck here. 235 00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:18,230 What kind of toy store is this? 236 00:16:18,300 --> 00:16:21,460 [ Alan Sighs ] it's my dad. He thinks these toys are cool. 237 00:16:21,530 --> 00:16:23,500 It's too bad nobody else does. 238 00:16:25,070 --> 00:16:28,870 [ Chip ] The Commando Elite will rid the Earth of the Gorgonites. 239 00:16:28,940 --> 00:16:32,240 [ Archer ] The Gorgonites are peaceful. We mean no harm. 240 00:16:32,310 --> 00:16:34,250 [ Chip ] Gorgonite, you are a hideous freak. 241 00:16:34,310 --> 00:16:37,210 You will be vaporized. 242 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:39,880 Civilian, declare your allegiance! 243 00:16:39,950 --> 00:16:42,680 - [ Fires Weapon ] - Ow! Hey, cool! 244 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,690 - He's got a whole woodworking shop in back. - l know what l want! 245 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:47,620 I know what l want! The soldier. l want the soldier. 246 00:16:47,690 --> 00:16:50,490 They're walking and fighting, and they're so cool! 247 00:16:53,070 --> 00:16:55,590 Where'd they go? 248 00:16:55,670 --> 00:16:58,600 Oh. What about this one? 249 00:16:58,670 --> 00:17:01,070 No, l want the other one. 250 00:17:01,140 --> 00:17:03,670 Here. Major Chip Hazard. He's the one. 251 00:17:03,740 --> 00:17:05,680 - How much are these? - A lot. 252 00:17:05,740 --> 00:17:07,680 There's no way Mom and Dad are going to buy you one of these. 253 00:17:07,750 --> 00:17:11,080 Yes, they will. They buy you those stupid Gwendy dolls. 254 00:17:11,150 --> 00:17:14,120 All right, Timmy. 255 00:17:15,190 --> 00:17:17,180 Save me one of the buff guys. 256 00:17:17,260 --> 00:17:19,520 - And a monster too. - l don't think so, you little brat. 257 00:17:19,590 --> 00:17:21,490 Look, I'll find it and hold it till tomorrow. 258 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:24,930 [ Timmy ] How about the flamethrower? 259 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:29,330 - So when am l gonna get that toy? - Never, if you don't shut up. 260 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,230 - Bye. - Bye. 261 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:34,140 - [ Bell Jingling ] - Say ""hi"" once in a while. 262 00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:52,860 [ indistinct Chattering ] 263 00:17:57,430 --> 00:17:59,400 Meet death with honor, coward. 264 00:17:59,470 --> 00:18:01,330 There you are. 265 00:18:08,570 --> 00:18:10,630 Congratulations. You're practically sold. 266 00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:14,610 You, I'm not so sure about. 267 00:18:17,350 --> 00:18:20,110 [ Sighs ] Troglokhan. 268 00:18:26,190 --> 00:18:28,130 Punch-it? 269 00:18:30,900 --> 00:18:33,830 Oh, man! Dad's ticket! 270 00:18:37,170 --> 00:18:40,570 Okay. Suitcase, briefcase, keys. 271 00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:42,570 Keys! Where are my keys? 272 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:44,580 Right where you left them. 273 00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:46,580 Oh, and where did l leave them? 274 00:18:49,580 --> 00:18:51,520 Oh. What is the matter with me? 275 00:18:51,580 --> 00:18:53,520 - What else? - Oh, Stuart, please. Try to relax. 276 00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:55,520 - Yeah. - Now, remember why we moved here: 277 00:18:55,590 --> 00:18:59,790 to get away from the stress, to eliminate the stress, 278 00:19:01,530 --> 00:19:05,090 - to... [ Exhales ] exhale... - Exhale... 279 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:07,060 - the stress. - the stress. 280 00:19:08,870 --> 00:19:12,930 - [ Man Talking, indistinct ] - Mom! l know what l want for my birthday. 281 00:19:13,010 --> 00:19:16,340 - l want a Major Chip Hazard. Please! Please! Please! - Don't upset your father. 282 00:19:16,410 --> 00:19:18,640 - Hi, Dad. - Hi, sweetie. 283 00:19:18,710 --> 00:19:20,640 - What's up? - Al here was just telling me-- 284 00:19:20,710 --> 00:19:22,680 - Ed. - was just telling me... 285 00:19:22,750 --> 00:19:25,010 that the angle of the Earth's tilt on its axis... 286 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:27,850 relative to the geocentric orbit of the transmission satellite... 287 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:32,360 restricts the placement for optimum reception. 288 00:19:32,420 --> 00:19:34,550 Uh, yeah. 289 00:19:34,630 --> 00:19:36,860 In other words, this tree is in the way. 290 00:19:36,930 --> 00:19:38,860 Right. Exactly. 291 00:19:40,100 --> 00:19:43,360 No problemo. 292 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:46,370 [ Saw Buzzing ] 293 00:19:48,970 --> 00:19:52,710 - Hey! Knock that off! - Hey, Stu. 294 00:19:52,780 --> 00:19:54,710 This guy says the tree's gotta go. 295 00:19:54,780 --> 00:19:57,370 - You don't mind, do you? What? - Yes, l mind. 296 00:19:57,450 --> 00:20:00,180 I said, ""Yes, l mind."" 297 00:20:00,250 --> 00:20:02,550 What the hell are you doin', Phil? This is my tree! 298 00:20:02,620 --> 00:20:06,060 Don't worry. Happy to do the work. What're good neighbors for? 299 00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:08,060 You see the dish? She's a beauty, huh? 300 00:20:08,130 --> 00:20:11,580 No. No. No. This-- This tree is beautiful. 301 00:20:11,660 --> 00:20:14,530 That dish is just one more piece of techno-crap... 302 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:17,930 to go along with the rest of your stockpile of techno-crap. 303 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,470 And you're already pulling so much juice... 304 00:20:20,540 --> 00:20:22,470 you've got us all living in a cancer node. 305 00:20:22,540 --> 00:20:24,940 You know, there's never been any conclusive data proving a link between-- 306 00:20:25,010 --> 00:20:27,480 - Just give me that saw for a minute, Phil. - Stuart, come on. Come on. 307 00:20:27,550 --> 00:20:29,480 Airplane now, vendetta later. 308 00:20:29,550 --> 00:20:33,480 I'll check the zoning laws, but l think they'll prove me in the right here. 309 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:42,490 Hasn't he heard of those small dishes that you can put... 310 00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:45,690 - on top of your house? - They don't get as many channels. - Dad! 311 00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:49,720 - He probably got a deal. - Dad! 312 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:52,600 Alan, what're you doing here? You're supposed to be at the shop. 313 00:20:52,670 --> 00:20:54,610 - You forgot your ticket. - Oh, thank God. 314 00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:57,340 Oh, my ticket! Thank you, son. 315 00:20:57,410 --> 00:20:59,340 Way to stay heads up. 316 00:20:59,410 --> 00:21:01,850 - Yeah. Every so often, l do something right. - Right. 317 00:21:01,910 --> 00:21:04,540 - Well, I'm outta here. - Hurry, but drive carefully. 318 00:21:04,620 --> 00:21:06,550 Okay. I'll call you when l get there. 319 00:21:06,620 --> 00:21:09,380 - All right. Hey, give me a smooch. - Yeah. 320 00:21:09,450 --> 00:21:11,790 - Bye-bye. Good-bye, son. - See you later, Dad. 321 00:21:13,130 --> 00:21:15,060 - Bye-bye. - Bye-bye. 322 00:21:19,100 --> 00:21:21,860 Bye. 323 00:21:21,930 --> 00:21:23,870 [ Sighs ] 324 00:21:27,940 --> 00:21:30,600 So, the door was locked when you left? 325 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:33,010 - Yes. - And did you empty out the cash register? 326 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:35,010 Both quarters and all six pennies. 327 00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:37,310 - And yes, l shut off the lights. - I'm just asking. 328 00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:39,320 You know, it's possible that l may get through an entire day... 329 00:21:39,380 --> 00:21:42,720 - without screwing up. - [ Sighs ] 330 00:21:57,740 --> 00:22:00,860 [ Electrical Whirring ] 331 00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:07,600 What the-- 332 00:22:12,120 --> 00:22:14,050 How the heck did you get in here? 333 00:22:25,100 --> 00:22:27,030 What was it? Uh-- 334 00:22:27,100 --> 00:22:29,230 Halt! Who goes there? 335 00:22:29,300 --> 00:22:31,860 Greetings. l am Archer, 336 00:22:31,940 --> 00:22:33,870 emissary of the Gorgonites. 337 00:22:33,940 --> 00:22:36,700 Sure you are. 338 00:22:36,780 --> 00:22:42,010 - Beware! There will be no mercy. - ls that so? 339 00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:44,910 Beware! There will be no mercy. 340 00:22:44,980 --> 00:22:48,250 Yeah, well, I'll be real careful. Thanks for the advice. 341 00:22:50,620 --> 00:22:53,720 Greetings. l am Archer, 342 00:22:53,790 --> 00:22:56,120 emissary of the Gorgonites. 343 00:22:56,190 --> 00:23:01,530 - What is your name? - I'm Alan. Now, shut up. l gotta do my homework. 344 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:06,500 Greetings, Alan-Now-Shut-Up. 345 00:23:06,570 --> 00:23:08,510 What did you say? 346 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:12,180 You just said my name, didn't you? 347 00:23:15,910 --> 00:23:17,850 Didn't you? 348 00:23:20,390 --> 00:23:23,320 [ Scoffs ] 349 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:06,500 [ Grunting ] 350 00:24:13,970 --> 00:24:16,570 [ Grunts ] 351 00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:20,410 Commandos! Ten-hut! 352 00:24:23,450 --> 00:24:25,510 Commando Elite! Fall in! 353 00:24:25,580 --> 00:24:28,710 [ Grunting ] 354 00:24:28,790 --> 00:24:30,720 [ Growling ] 355 00:24:39,870 --> 00:24:41,800 Sound off, soldiers! 356 00:24:41,870 --> 00:24:45,170 Butch Meathook, sniper. Lethal from any distance, sir. 357 00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:47,640 - Good to have you aboard. - Nick Nitro. 358 00:24:47,710 --> 00:24:49,800 Demolition is my mission. 359 00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:51,970 Served with your father. He was a good man. 360 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:53,980 Brick Bazooka, artillery. 361 00:24:54,050 --> 00:24:55,980 Ready to go full bore, sir. 362 00:24:56,050 --> 00:24:58,810 - Save it for the enemy. - Link Static, communications. 363 00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:00,940 Awaiting dispatch of orders, sir. 364 00:25:01,020 --> 00:25:03,250 Double up on your rations, Sparky. 365 00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:07,420 Kip Killagin, covert insurgent. Sharp as a razor, sir. 366 00:25:07,490 --> 00:25:10,330 Let me see that weapon. 367 00:25:11,300 --> 00:25:13,760 Standard issue is insufficient. 368 00:25:13,830 --> 00:25:16,530 All right, ladies. Now listen, and listen good. 369 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:18,930 Our mission: Destroy the Gorgonite enemy. 370 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,940 - Defeat him. - [ Together ] Yes, sir! 371 00:25:22,010 --> 00:25:24,840 There will be no mercy. 372 00:25:24,910 --> 00:25:27,170 Search the area and secure new arms. 373 00:25:27,250 --> 00:25:30,010 - Commandos, fall out! - [ All Yelling ] 374 00:26:45,460 --> 00:26:47,390 Gorgon. 375 00:26:47,460 --> 00:26:50,120 [ Cat Meowing ] 376 00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:52,250 [ Meowing, Purring ] 377 00:27:00,110 --> 00:27:01,970 [ Chuckles ] 378 00:27:09,250 --> 00:27:11,180 Hey! 379 00:27:14,020 --> 00:27:16,610 What the heck are you? 380 00:27:19,690 --> 00:27:23,860 You're not like any toy I've ever seen. 381 00:27:23,930 --> 00:27:25,920 Come on. Speak up. 382 00:27:27,130 --> 00:27:29,120 Greetings, Alan-Now-Shut-Up. 383 00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:31,960 I am Archer, emissary of the Gorgonites. 384 00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:33,970 Uh-huh. 385 00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,670 I think you're smarter than you're lettin' on. 386 00:27:36,740 --> 00:27:38,680 I'll bet you're smart enough to get my name right. 387 00:27:38,740 --> 00:27:41,610 It's Alan, just plain Alan. That's all. Got it? 388 00:27:43,150 --> 00:27:45,580 Greetings, Alan. 389 00:27:45,650 --> 00:27:47,850 I knew it! Walk to the end of the table. 390 00:27:50,460 --> 00:27:52,390 Don't play dumb with me. 391 00:27:52,460 --> 00:27:54,390 You know what I'm saying. 392 00:28:07,970 --> 00:28:10,530 Alan, friend of Archer. 393 00:28:10,610 --> 00:28:14,410 Defender of all Gorgonites, keeper of Encarta. 394 00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:17,680 Keeper of Encarta? 395 00:28:17,750 --> 00:28:19,680 You were using my computer? 396 00:28:21,950 --> 00:28:25,580 If l find a virus in there, you're headed for the microwave. 397 00:28:25,660 --> 00:28:28,060 Beware! There will be no mercy. 398 00:28:29,330 --> 00:28:31,260 Are you threatening me? 399 00:28:31,330 --> 00:28:36,200 The Gorgonites must be free. There will be no mercy. 400 00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:47,940 Soldiers, no poor sap ever won a war by dying for his country. 401 00:28:48,010 --> 00:28:51,450 He won it by being all that he can be. 402 00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:54,880 Damn the torpedoes or give me death. 403 00:28:54,950 --> 00:28:58,250 Eternal vigilance is the price of duty. 404 00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:02,090 And to the victors go the spoils. 405 00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:05,820 So remember, you are the best of the best of the few and the proud. 406 00:29:05,900 --> 00:29:08,560 So ask not what your country can do for you. 407 00:29:08,630 --> 00:29:12,030 Only regret that you have but one life to live. 408 00:29:12,100 --> 00:29:16,200 The war against the Gorgonites will be won! 409 00:29:16,270 --> 00:29:18,210 - Uh, oh. - Commando Elite, 410 00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:21,010 let the first shot be fired! 411 00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:24,050 Search out the Gorgonites and frag them all! 412 00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:27,350 [ Cheering, Yelling ] 413 00:29:27,420 --> 00:29:29,350 - Gorgonites! - Get him! Jump on him! - [ Glass Breaking ] 414 00:29:29,420 --> 00:29:32,360 - Plastic at twelve o'clock. - Gorgonites at twelve o'clock! 415 00:29:32,420 --> 00:29:35,420 Let's kick some Gorgonite butt. 416 00:29:35,490 --> 00:29:38,430 Archer. Where are you, anyway? 417 00:29:42,170 --> 00:29:45,530 I am in so much trouble. 418 00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:47,540 There will be no mercy. 419 00:29:47,610 --> 00:29:49,840 [ Sighs ] 420 00:29:49,910 --> 00:29:53,240 [ Alan ] This is what you meant? 421 00:29:53,310 --> 00:29:55,250 How could toys do this? 422 00:30:01,650 --> 00:30:04,750 - Alas, poor Troglokhan. - I'm sorry, Archer, 423 00:30:04,820 --> 00:30:08,590 but that's all the pieces l could find. 424 00:30:08,660 --> 00:30:12,890 The Commando Elite have destroyed Troglokhan. 425 00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:16,530 Yeah, but what about all the other Gorgonites, and what happened to the Commandos? 426 00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:18,540 - Uh-- - [ Knocking On Door ] 427 00:30:20,610 --> 00:30:23,070 [ Sighs ] 428 00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:28,040 Hi. Uh, we're closed. See the sign? 429 00:30:28,110 --> 00:30:31,050 I'll be real quick. l just came to get those toys. The Major Chip thing and the monster? 430 00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:33,580 - l can't sell you those toys. Sorry. - But you're the only store... 431 00:30:33,650 --> 00:30:35,850 that has them, and my parents just caved. 432 00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:38,580 - Well, the toys are gone, all right? - Well, what about him? 433 00:30:40,790 --> 00:30:44,590 Oh. Him. He's defective. 434 00:30:44,660 --> 00:30:48,960 - Oh. - And the rest were stolen. 435 00:30:49,030 --> 00:30:50,970 Oh, that's too bad. 436 00:30:52,300 --> 00:30:56,760 Alan. We must find the Gorgonites. [ Grunting ] 437 00:30:56,840 --> 00:31:00,110 Oh, my God! 438 00:31:00,180 --> 00:31:02,650 [ Sighs ] Who did all this? 439 00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:08,380 Are you pulling some kind of insurance scam? 440 00:31:08,450 --> 00:31:12,580 I swear, l did one thing wrong. That's it. 441 00:31:12,660 --> 00:31:15,390 And I'm branded for life. 442 00:31:15,460 --> 00:31:17,550 So, it is true. 443 00:31:17,630 --> 00:31:19,560 I heard your parents had to move here 'cause... 444 00:31:19,630 --> 00:31:23,160 - you got kicked out of ten different schools? - l did not! 445 00:31:23,230 --> 00:31:25,830 No? 446 00:31:32,210 --> 00:31:35,410 - It was two. - Only two? 447 00:31:41,090 --> 00:31:44,650 So... you need some help? 448 00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:50,260 - Alan, can l talk now? - No. 449 00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:54,660 I can't believe they broke my dad's radio. 450 00:31:56,300 --> 00:32:00,240 Hey, Alan, do you ever watch that show Family of Five? 451 00:32:00,310 --> 00:32:03,070 - Sure. - Do you like it? 452 00:32:03,140 --> 00:32:06,940 - Uh, it's okay. - Oh, thank God. Me neither. l hate it. 453 00:32:07,010 --> 00:32:10,280 It's so lame. I'm so sick of everybody telling me it's so great. 454 00:32:10,350 --> 00:32:13,340 - l can't stand the parents. They're so nice. - The worst. 455 00:32:13,420 --> 00:32:15,720 - Where do these go? - Uh, just over there. 456 00:32:17,890 --> 00:32:20,620 I'm more of an X-Files kind of guy myself. 457 00:32:20,690 --> 00:32:22,630 The truth is out there, Alan. 458 00:32:25,230 --> 00:32:28,560 - Do you like Led Zeppelin? - Yeah. They're the greatest. 459 00:32:28,630 --> 00:32:31,070 Oh. They're my favorite band. 460 00:32:32,970 --> 00:32:35,340 You know, you're not like other girls. 461 00:32:35,410 --> 00:32:37,340 I know. 462 00:32:45,020 --> 00:32:47,010 I can't believe we finished. 463 00:32:47,090 --> 00:32:49,450 It took less time than l thought. 464 00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:51,580 And the boat looks great. 465 00:32:51,660 --> 00:32:54,680 It wasn't that messed up. The mast was the hardest part. 466 00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:56,820 Uh, he'll never know. 467 00:32:58,100 --> 00:33:00,530 So, what'd you do? 468 00:33:02,500 --> 00:33:05,800 Oh, come on, Alan. I've heard the story ten times already. 469 00:33:05,870 --> 00:33:08,500 Don't deny it. They say you're a real terror. 470 00:33:08,570 --> 00:33:12,410 Oh, yeah. That's me. A real terror. 471 00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:16,000 I did some graffiti, flooded the faculty bathroom. Stuff like that. 472 00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:18,910 My shrink told my parents l was ""acting out."" 473 00:33:18,980 --> 00:33:22,210 l heard you called in a bomb scare on Parents' Day. 474 00:33:22,290 --> 00:33:24,380 Yeah. That's when l got caught. 475 00:33:24,460 --> 00:33:28,020 - Bummer. - They put me on probation for a while. 476 00:33:28,090 --> 00:33:31,120 But that was a long time ago. You know, I'm a totally different person now. 477 00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:33,130 Sure. 478 00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:36,100 - No, really. - Hey, Alan! How's it going? 479 00:33:37,900 --> 00:33:41,070 - Dad. - You know, l was just on my way home from the airport, 480 00:33:41,140 --> 00:33:43,230 thought I'd stop by and say hello. 481 00:33:43,310 --> 00:33:45,900 - Check up on me? - And check up on you. 482 00:33:45,980 --> 00:33:49,380 Of course. That's my job. Me dad, you son. Right? 483 00:33:49,450 --> 00:33:52,610 - This is Christy. - Hi. 484 00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:56,180 - From next door. - Hello. 485 00:33:56,250 --> 00:33:58,650 - Alan, what happened here? - Nothing. 486 00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:02,320 Nothing happened. 487 00:34:02,390 --> 00:34:04,330 Oh, really? 488 00:34:06,500 --> 00:34:08,690 Then how do you explain this? 489 00:34:08,770 --> 00:34:11,670 L-l was dusting it and it fell over. 490 00:34:11,740 --> 00:34:14,100 Oh, you were dusting. With what? A croquet mallet? 491 00:34:14,170 --> 00:34:17,270 Um, l should go. 492 00:34:17,340 --> 00:34:19,330 Oh, geez. l almost forgot my stuff. 493 00:34:22,610 --> 00:34:26,010 Bye, Alan. 494 00:34:28,490 --> 00:34:30,420 You should go on home too. I'll close up. 495 00:34:30,490 --> 00:34:33,690 - l can do it. - Obviously, you can't. 496 00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:35,690 Go home. 497 00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:43,530 Alan. 498 00:34:47,940 --> 00:34:49,930 I'm really sorry about that. 499 00:34:50,010 --> 00:34:52,240 I've got parents too. if that's all he sees, 500 00:34:52,310 --> 00:34:54,400 you got off lucky. 501 00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:56,410 - Here are your toys. - Thanks. 502 00:34:58,980 --> 00:35:01,850 Hey, Christy, what happened? l thought you were coming by practice today? 503 00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:03,850 Sorry, Brad. Something else came up. 504 00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:08,090 I know you. You're that kid that set his old school on fire, right? 505 00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:10,790 Yeah, just to watch it burn. 506 00:35:10,860 --> 00:35:12,490 Whatever. 507 00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:16,970 Hey, we got a scrimmage with the JV. Come on. You can cheer me on. 508 00:35:17,030 --> 00:35:18,970 Great! 509 00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:22,870 [ Motorcycle Engine Revving ] 510 00:35:24,980 --> 00:35:27,910 See you later. 511 00:35:30,180 --> 00:35:32,120 Let's see. 512 00:35:34,790 --> 00:35:38,220 What we need... is a coping saw. 513 00:35:45,730 --> 00:35:47,660 I don't believe it! 514 00:35:55,910 --> 00:35:59,570 - Alan, we must-- - Shut up! 515 00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:02,510 - The Gorgonites-- [ indistinct ] - You're nothing but trouble. 516 00:36:15,830 --> 00:36:18,230 Link Static to command post. Have targeted... 517 00:36:18,300 --> 00:36:21,860 single Gorgonite with civilian escort. 518 00:36:21,930 --> 00:36:24,530 Approaching your position. Over. 519 00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:28,200 Roger, Private Static. Copy that. 520 00:36:28,270 --> 00:36:30,600 Brick Bazooka, front and center. 521 00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:33,440 - Sir. - Prepare for assault, Sergeant. 522 00:36:36,180 --> 00:36:38,940 Don't fire until you see the whites of his eyes. 523 00:36:39,020 --> 00:36:42,110 - [ All Grunting ] - Prepare to fire the bazooka. 524 00:36:44,420 --> 00:36:47,390 - Fire! - Whoa! 525 00:36:50,130 --> 00:36:52,790 [ Grunting, Groaning ] 526 00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:00,600 Uh-oh. 527 00:37:00,670 --> 00:37:04,270 - [ Dog Barking ] - Gorgonite K-9 corps. 528 00:37:07,210 --> 00:37:11,050 Watch it! I'll have your dog tags. 529 00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:13,810 Whoa! 530 00:37:13,890 --> 00:37:16,510 What are you doing here? 531 00:37:16,590 --> 00:37:18,750 Go on home. 532 00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:31,430 [ Grunting ] Hand over hand. 533 00:37:33,500 --> 00:37:36,700 I'm coming for you, Gorgonite. 534 00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:50,380 [ Yelling ] 535 00:37:50,450 --> 00:37:52,820 [ Mumbling ] 536 00:37:52,890 --> 00:37:56,490 Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! 537 00:37:56,560 --> 00:37:59,290 [ Screaming ] 538 00:38:01,130 --> 00:38:04,000 - [ Groans ] - Damn potholes. 539 00:38:04,070 --> 00:38:08,510 [ Chip On Radio ] Command post to Brick Bazooka. Report. 540 00:38:08,570 --> 00:38:13,600 - [ Groaning ] - Repeat. This is command post. Report. 541 00:38:13,680 --> 00:38:17,140 Brick Bazooka, reporting. 542 00:38:17,210 --> 00:38:21,410 Target escaped. En route to enemy's stronghold. 543 00:38:21,490 --> 00:38:24,480 Sir, I'm pretty messed up, sir. 544 00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:27,680 Hold on, son. We're on our way. 545 00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:30,390 Well, wrong gage. 546 00:38:30,460 --> 00:38:34,990 - insert tab ""A"" into slot ""B"". Turn until click. - Ow! 547 00:38:35,070 --> 00:38:37,000 Bite the bullet, pal. it'll be okay. 548 00:38:37,070 --> 00:38:39,540 - Here's the tape. - Let's close him up. 549 00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:41,500 [ Groaning ] 550 00:38:41,570 --> 00:38:43,510 Go ahead, kid. Let it out. 551 00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:53,820 - [ Groaning Continues ] - it's a small world after all. 552 00:38:55,620 --> 00:38:58,880 - [ Phone Ringing ] - Hello. 553 00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:01,550 Heartland Play Systems. How may l help you? 554 00:39:01,630 --> 00:39:05,560 Yes. I'm having trouble with one of your-- 555 00:39:05,630 --> 00:39:08,290 What is the name of the toy, and what is the nature of the problem? 556 00:39:08,370 --> 00:39:12,390 - The toys are the Gorgonites-- - There are no more Gorgonites. 557 00:39:12,470 --> 00:39:14,900 Shh. And the Commando Elite. 558 00:39:14,970 --> 00:39:17,100 The Commando Elite are the mortal enemy... 559 00:39:17,170 --> 00:39:19,440 - of the Gorgonites. - And what is the nature of the problem? 560 00:39:19,510 --> 00:39:22,780 The Commando Elite wrecked my dad's store and destroyed the Gorgonites! 561 00:39:22,850 --> 00:39:25,750 The Commando Elite are designed to fight the Gorgonites. 562 00:39:25,820 --> 00:39:28,750 They didn't fight them. They destroyed them, and now they're gone! 563 00:39:28,820 --> 00:39:32,280 I'm sorry, but Heartland Play Systems does not replace lost toys. 564 00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:34,920 I didn't lose them! Look, is there a machine l can talk to? 565 00:39:34,990 --> 00:39:37,590 - Just transfer me to a machine. - Fine. 566 00:39:37,660 --> 00:39:42,460 - Have a nice day, ma'am. - I'm not a ma'am! 567 00:39:42,530 --> 00:39:44,470 [ Electronic Voice ] Please state the name of your toy... 568 00:39:44,540 --> 00:39:46,590 and the nature of your problem. [ Beeps ] 569 00:39:46,670 --> 00:39:49,100 Your damn Commando Elite wrecked my dad's store, 570 00:39:49,170 --> 00:39:51,110 destroyed the stupid Gorgonites and ran off. 571 00:39:51,180 --> 00:39:53,300 Got it? Lawsuit. Got that? 572 00:39:55,450 --> 00:40:00,280 Alan Abernathy. 330-555-0125. 573 00:40:00,350 --> 00:40:03,620 - Destroy Gorgonites. - Shut up! 574 00:40:08,990 --> 00:40:11,390 - [ Rock On Headphones ] - Alan-- 575 00:40:11,460 --> 00:40:13,990 Don't talk to me! 576 00:40:15,670 --> 00:40:18,130 Not a word. 577 00:40:25,140 --> 00:40:28,700 - [ Audience Applauding ] - And on Monday morning at 0900 hours, 578 00:40:28,780 --> 00:40:32,550 250,000 Commandos and 250,000 Gorgonites... 579 00:40:32,620 --> 00:40:35,210 will fight side by side with children everywhere, 580 00:40:35,290 --> 00:40:37,220 trying to separate Mommy and Daddy... 581 00:40:37,290 --> 00:40:39,480 from the money in their wallets. 582 00:40:41,460 --> 00:40:43,390 [ Mouthing Words ] 583 00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,190 - Okay. Now listen to this. - Excuse me. 584 00:40:48,270 --> 00:40:52,330 - With over 100 merchandise licensees for the next two months, 585 00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:54,890 you won't be able to turn on a TV, board a bus, 586 00:40:54,970 --> 00:40:57,370 open a lunch box or put on your own underwear... 587 00:40:57,440 --> 00:41:00,710 without seeing the Gorgonites waging war with the Commando Elite. 588 00:41:03,210 --> 00:41:06,150 What do you think of that, Mr. Mars? 589 00:41:06,220 --> 00:41:08,150 Well, it's a start, 590 00:41:09,890 --> 00:41:11,820 Larry. 591 00:41:11,890 --> 00:41:15,480 Larry. Larry, folks. 592 00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:17,790 [ Applause Continues ] 593 00:41:19,460 --> 00:41:21,400 - You know, when l started this company- - We have to talk. 594 00:41:21,470 --> 00:41:23,400 - Get off of me. - We got a big problem. 595 00:41:23,470 --> 00:41:26,400 - It's urgent! - What are you doing here? Stop it. Get away from me. 596 00:41:26,470 --> 00:41:29,700 [ Mr. Mars Continues ] 597 00:41:29,770 --> 00:41:34,440 Alan Abernathy. 330-555-0-- [ Beeps ] 598 00:41:34,510 --> 00:41:37,350 - That's where the voice mail cut him off. - That's not a problem. 599 00:41:37,410 --> 00:41:41,040 - Oh, it's not? - No, it's not. What's the in-store date on these things? 600 00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:42,950 Monday. How did this kid get ahold of them? Come on. 601 00:41:43,020 --> 00:41:47,050 It's industrial espionage. l got two words for you: Counter suit. 602 00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:49,680 One word. Countersuit. Two words. 603 00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:51,990 It's two words, Larry. 604 00:41:52,060 --> 00:41:54,430 Look, what if this kid is telling the truth? l mean, 605 00:41:54,500 --> 00:41:57,400 we can't have toys out in the market that may be dangerous. 606 00:41:57,470 --> 00:42:00,630 Oh, come on. How could they be dangerous? Everything on them are standard. 607 00:42:00,700 --> 00:42:04,070 The design is standard. The materials are standard. 608 00:42:04,140 --> 00:42:07,240 The mechanicals are standard. Even the-- Oh. 609 00:42:07,310 --> 00:42:08,970 What's ""oh""? 610 00:42:09,050 --> 00:42:11,640 - What? - No, what's ""oh""? You just said ""oh"". 611 00:42:11,720 --> 00:42:15,210 - No, l said-- l said ""oh"". - ""Oh"", like that's interesting, or ""oh"", like we're screwed? 612 00:42:15,290 --> 00:42:19,660 No. l mean, you know-- Hey! Whoa! Look, forget the ""oh"", all right? 613 00:42:19,720 --> 00:42:21,950 I'm going to run down to legal and get the ball rolling on the countersuit. 614 00:42:22,030 --> 00:42:27,020 - The chips. That's the oh. Yeah. - Oh. 615 00:42:27,100 --> 00:42:30,400 These microprocessing chips, what do they do and where'd you get 'em from? 616 00:42:30,470 --> 00:42:32,870 They, you know, they microprocess. 617 00:42:32,940 --> 00:42:36,430 They come from the land of ""l Saved Your Job."" Come on. 618 00:42:42,150 --> 00:42:45,210 They were designed for the Department of Defense. 619 00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:49,810 You put munitions chips in toys? 620 00:42:57,190 --> 00:43:01,290 [ Link ] Archer. 621 00:43:01,370 --> 00:43:04,700 Emissary of the Gorgonites. 622 00:43:05,740 --> 00:43:07,670 Where are you? 623 00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:13,370 [ Butch ] Beware. There will be no mercy. 624 00:43:15,850 --> 00:43:18,540 [ Brick ] We're lost. We need to find our homeland. 625 00:43:18,620 --> 00:43:20,550 [ Kip ] Yeah, our homeland. 626 00:43:23,750 --> 00:43:26,620 [ Nick ] We're in trouble. Please find us. 627 00:43:26,690 --> 00:43:29,060 [ Brick ] You got to help us find Goron. 628 00:43:29,130 --> 00:43:32,320 [ Kip ] Goron? It's Gorgon, moron. 629 00:43:36,270 --> 00:43:40,730 [ Nick ] Well, l hope he comes. We're no match for the awesome Commandos. 630 00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:44,400 [ Butch ] Yeah. Everything else is just a toy. 631 00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:47,970 [ Link ] Kitty, kitty, kitty. 632 00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:55,750 - Aah! - Grab him! Hold him down! 633 00:43:55,820 --> 00:43:58,750 [ Yelling, indistinct ] 634 00:44:00,260 --> 00:44:02,160 String him up! 635 00:44:02,230 --> 00:44:05,090 [ Chip ] Tell us what we want to know. 636 00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:07,890 [ Chuckling ] 637 00:44:07,970 --> 00:44:11,730 - l am Archer, emissary of the Gorgonites. - Archer? 638 00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:16,640 [ Chip Chuckling ] Where are the rest of the Gorgonite scum? 639 00:44:16,710 --> 00:44:19,730 [ Brick ] We have ways of making you talk. 640 00:44:22,750 --> 00:44:25,480 [ Link ] Make it easy on yourself. if you tell us, we'll let you go. 641 00:44:25,550 --> 00:44:28,750 [ Chip ] it'll go easier for you if you cooperate. 642 00:44:28,820 --> 00:44:31,340 I am Archer, emissary of the Gorgonites. 643 00:44:31,420 --> 00:44:35,020 [ Nick ] All right, let's dispose of this garbage. 644 00:44:35,090 --> 00:44:38,460 [ Chuckling ] 645 00:44:38,530 --> 00:44:43,300 - [ Butch ] Hey, it's the kid. - [ Chip ] Commandos, pull back! Retrograde movement! 646 00:44:43,370 --> 00:44:47,200 [ Chuckling ] Uh-oh! 647 00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:53,500 Hey! 648 00:44:53,580 --> 00:44:55,670 [ Whirring Sound ] 649 00:44:55,750 --> 00:44:58,870 - [ Shouts, indistinct ] - Ow! You little-- 650 00:45:00,020 --> 00:45:02,880 - Gimmie that. - Hey, that's mine, punk! 651 00:45:03,950 --> 00:45:06,720 Surrender, Gorgonite ally. 652 00:45:08,130 --> 00:45:11,960 - You just met your match. - Oh, yeah? 653 00:45:12,030 --> 00:45:15,470 Surrender or die-e-e! [ Screaming ] 654 00:45:15,530 --> 00:45:18,400 Medic! Medic! Aah! 655 00:45:18,470 --> 00:45:21,030 Medic! Medic! 656 00:45:21,110 --> 00:45:25,440 - [ Disposal Grinds, Stalls ] - Medic! [ Screaming Continues ] 657 00:45:25,510 --> 00:45:27,700 Oh! Come out, you-- 658 00:45:27,780 --> 00:45:31,310 - Alan, what the hell is going on here? - Um-- 659 00:45:31,380 --> 00:45:35,750 - [ Groaning ] - [ Mother ] Alan, your hand! What happened? 660 00:45:35,820 --> 00:45:38,980 How did you cut your hand? What are you doing down here? 661 00:45:39,060 --> 00:45:41,220 Medic! [ Groaning ] 662 00:45:43,060 --> 00:45:44,990 O-o-oh! 663 00:45:45,060 --> 00:45:48,190 When you were gone, l bought a shipment of soldier toys from Joe. 664 00:45:48,270 --> 00:45:51,000 I figured l could sell 'em before you got back. 665 00:45:51,070 --> 00:45:53,940 And for once, l would've made the store a little money. 666 00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:57,300 I know it was the wrong thing to do, and I'm sorry. 667 00:45:57,370 --> 00:45:59,500 There. l said it. 668 00:45:59,580 --> 00:46:01,440 Well... 669 00:46:01,510 --> 00:46:03,450 okay. 670 00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:09,010 I think it's very honest of you to tell the truth. 671 00:46:09,090 --> 00:46:13,750 So, you pawned my woodworking tools so you could pay Joe? 672 00:46:13,820 --> 00:46:16,320 No! I'm-I'm pretty sure the toys took 'em. 673 00:46:16,390 --> 00:46:18,330 [ Stuart ] Uh, what? 674 00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:20,420 The toys. 675 00:46:20,500 --> 00:46:25,940 Are you trying to upset me? l mean, are you deliberately making it-- 676 00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:28,970 - Shh. Quiet. Stop it. - What-- What word did the psychologist use? Projected-- 677 00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:30,970 - Aggression. - Projected aggression! 678 00:46:31,040 --> 00:46:34,340 It's not aggression! it's these toys. They-- 679 00:46:34,410 --> 00:46:36,880 It's like they're alive. Look. 680 00:46:36,950 --> 00:46:40,380 Ohh! Come on, Archer, back me up here. 681 00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:43,850 Say something. 682 00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:47,080 Halt! Who goes there? Talk to me! 683 00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:50,150 Alan, Alan, please. 684 00:46:50,230 --> 00:46:54,430 - l need to ask you this. Are you on crank? - No! 685 00:46:54,500 --> 00:46:56,830 Then is it crystal meth? Tar? Smack? 686 00:46:56,900 --> 00:46:59,230 - lrene-- - Mom! - We need to know! 687 00:46:59,300 --> 00:47:02,500 - I'm not on drugs! it's these soldiers, they-- - All right, that's it. 688 00:47:02,570 --> 00:47:05,510 Stop it. l mean, Alan, l-- 689 00:47:05,580 --> 00:47:08,570 l am... 690 00:47:08,650 --> 00:47:10,580 at a loss. 691 00:47:10,650 --> 00:47:12,580 [ Disgusted Sighs ] 692 00:47:14,180 --> 00:47:16,980 You! Why didn't you say anything? 693 00:47:17,050 --> 00:47:21,120 [ Rewinding, Alan's Voice ] Shut up. Don't talk to me. Not a word. 694 00:47:21,190 --> 00:47:24,850 Wise guy. l oughta shred the bunch of you. 695 00:47:24,930 --> 00:47:27,990 My dad thinks I'm insane, Christy thinks I'm an idiot... 696 00:47:28,070 --> 00:47:30,690 and when Joe finds out the toys are destroyed and l can't pay him back, 697 00:47:30,770 --> 00:47:34,200 - he's gonna have my legs broken. - The Gorgonites are not destroyed. 698 00:47:34,270 --> 00:47:36,300 What? 699 00:47:36,370 --> 00:47:41,830 Major Chip Hazard seeks the location of the Gorgonite scum. They are not destroyed. 700 00:47:41,910 --> 00:47:47,710 'Cause if the Commandos destroyed 'em, they wouldn't be looking for 'em. 701 00:47:47,780 --> 00:47:51,480 All right. Where are they? 702 00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:54,960 My Gorgonite brothers are doing what the Gorgonites do best. 703 00:47:55,030 --> 00:47:57,080 They are hiding. 704 00:48:05,770 --> 00:48:07,700 Commando Elite, fall in. 705 00:48:07,770 --> 00:48:09,710 [ All ] Sir, yes, sir! 706 00:48:10,940 --> 00:48:14,340 We have met the enemy. He is big. He is fast. 707 00:48:14,410 --> 00:48:17,440 He has aligned himself with the Gorgonite scum. 708 00:48:17,510 --> 00:48:21,710 The rules of engagement have changed. Private Static! 709 00:48:21,790 --> 00:48:24,350 [ Butch ] Damn! 710 00:48:24,420 --> 00:48:27,620 - [ Chuckles ] Ooh-hoo! - Wow. 711 00:48:27,690 --> 00:48:30,750 [ Butch ] This place is a gold mine. 712 00:48:30,830 --> 00:48:34,920 Holy smokes! Look at all this hardware. 713 00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:37,470 [ Kip ] Technological superiority. 714 00:48:37,530 --> 00:48:42,030 Dibs on the chain saw. [ Chuckling ] 715 00:48:45,980 --> 00:48:48,910 [ Groans ] Falling in, sir. 716 00:48:48,980 --> 00:48:50,910 Ee-aah! 717 00:48:52,380 --> 00:48:54,320 Outta the way! 718 00:48:54,380 --> 00:48:56,320 [ Approaching Footsteps ] 719 00:48:58,190 --> 00:49:02,490 it's... only a flesh wound, sir. 720 00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:06,360 Rest easy. You've done your job. 721 00:49:06,430 --> 00:49:11,530 - Did... we... win? [ Electrical Hum ] - We will. 722 00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:15,540 [ Sniffling ] Nick Nitro's battery has run out, 723 00:49:15,610 --> 00:49:20,010 but his memory will keep going and going and going. 724 00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:23,050 His death will be avenged! 725 00:49:23,110 --> 00:49:25,380 [ Sniffles, Sobs ] 726 00:49:27,080 --> 00:49:30,780 Commandos! Secure the perimeter! Tap all communications! 727 00:49:30,850 --> 00:49:33,850 Let's roll some armor. We got us a war to win. 728 00:49:33,920 --> 00:49:36,980 If it launches, lacerates or detonates, 729 00:49:37,060 --> 00:49:41,260 - l want it mobile and l want it ""lethile""! - [ All ] Sir, yes, sir! 730 00:49:47,100 --> 00:49:50,200 They're not in the storeroom, they're not here-- 731 00:49:50,270 --> 00:49:54,300 - Besides, monsters should be out fighting Commandos. - We would lose. 732 00:49:54,380 --> 00:49:56,970 It was what we were programmed to do. 733 00:49:57,050 --> 00:50:00,780 Hide and lose? Those are some great options. 734 00:50:00,850 --> 00:50:05,310 All right. if l was a Gorgonite, where would l be? 735 00:50:05,390 --> 00:50:07,820 I'm hiding 'cause I'm a loser, 736 00:50:07,890 --> 00:50:10,360 I've got... zero self-esteem... 737 00:50:10,430 --> 00:50:12,730 and my brain's the size of a peanut. 738 00:50:14,460 --> 00:50:16,590 Where would l be? 739 00:50:22,340 --> 00:50:24,270 [ Relieved Sigh ] 740 00:50:31,650 --> 00:50:33,670 This is so gross. 741 00:50:33,750 --> 00:50:36,280 Hello? ls anybody in there? 742 00:50:38,020 --> 00:50:39,960 - [ Electronic Screech ] - Hey! 743 00:50:42,030 --> 00:50:45,020 - Ocula. - What-What was that? 744 00:50:45,100 --> 00:50:47,860 It's the Gorgonites. 745 00:50:49,330 --> 00:50:53,030 - Ocula. Punch-it. - Whew! 746 00:50:53,100 --> 00:50:55,900 - Scratch-it. - Hey, hey, hey! It's great to be back. 747 00:50:55,970 --> 00:50:58,770 - But seriously, folks, what a dump. Hey, hey! - lnsaniac. 748 00:50:58,840 --> 00:51:01,110 [ Cackling ] Okay. Hey, what are you, a kid or an oil painting? 749 00:51:01,180 --> 00:51:03,610 No, seriously, folks, they got me sharing a dressing room with rotting fruit. 750 00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:07,080 Don't worry, Archer. We was hiding. 751 00:51:07,150 --> 00:51:10,280 - Slamfist. - [ Groaning ] 752 00:51:10,350 --> 00:51:12,380 Troglokhan? 753 00:51:12,460 --> 00:51:14,950 - [ Groaning Continues ] - We fixed him. 754 00:51:15,030 --> 00:51:18,390 We tried to fix him. 755 00:51:18,460 --> 00:51:22,960 - Hey, my dad's radio. - Some assembly required. 756 00:51:23,030 --> 00:51:24,970 - [ Chuckles ] - [ Clicks On ] 757 00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:28,230 [ Man On Radio ] So, am l nuts? What's goin' on here? Give me a call. 758 00:51:28,310 --> 00:51:32,800 - 1-800-TALK-TO-ME. [ Continues, indistinct ] - Freaky. Like Frankenstein. 759 00:51:32,880 --> 00:51:38,510 Uh, at least you're all here. Maybe Joe won't break my legs after all. 760 00:51:38,750 --> 00:51:41,010 - [ Electronic Beeping ] - [ Computer Voice ] Access approved. 761 00:51:41,080 --> 00:51:43,950 [ lrwin ] So, Larry, let me get this straight. You used my password... 762 00:51:44,020 --> 00:51:49,120 - to order surplus military chips that might be dangerous? - [ Blasting ] 763 00:51:49,190 --> 00:51:52,320 Hey, hey, hey, hey! it's okay. It's okay. 764 00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:55,590 That's supposed to happen. See? ""Clean room."" 765 00:51:55,670 --> 00:51:57,600 - Right. - Clean. 766 00:51:57,670 --> 00:52:00,100 - Let's just go in. - [ Hydraulic Lock Hissing ] 767 00:52:00,170 --> 00:52:02,830 - You all right? - Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. 768 00:52:02,910 --> 00:52:05,430 [ Larry ] That's him. That's Ralph. 769 00:52:05,510 --> 00:52:08,440 - [ Larry ] Hi. - Who are you? You don't belong here. 770 00:52:08,510 --> 00:52:11,350 I'm Larry Benson. You supplied my division with some microchips. 771 00:52:11,410 --> 00:52:14,540 Oh, yes. Larry Benson. 772 00:52:15,720 --> 00:52:18,310 The X 1000. 773 00:52:18,390 --> 00:52:20,950 Worked out better than you dreamed, didn't they? 774 00:52:21,020 --> 00:52:23,650 Actually, there was a little bit of a problem. 775 00:52:23,730 --> 00:52:26,630 Then it's with your software. 776 00:52:26,700 --> 00:52:31,290 Uh, l don't think there's a problem with the software, Ralph. 777 00:52:31,370 --> 00:52:35,070 Oh, you don't? The X 1000... 778 00:52:35,140 --> 00:52:38,010 is a masterpiece. 779 00:52:38,070 --> 00:52:41,670 Lmagine a microchip sophisticated enough to control... 780 00:52:41,750 --> 00:52:44,580 the guidance systems of ballistic missiles. 781 00:52:44,650 --> 00:52:48,640 Lmagine it can be used to instantly upgrade any system that it's plugged into, 782 00:52:48,720 --> 00:52:51,550 like a smart drug for machines. 783 00:52:51,620 --> 00:52:54,720 Then imagine it can learn. 784 00:52:54,790 --> 00:52:57,560 W-- What are you talking about? Artificial intelligence? 785 00:52:57,630 --> 00:53:00,190 No. Actual intelligence. 786 00:53:00,260 --> 00:53:03,100 It's no wonder those philistines at the Pentagon couldn't appreciate it. 787 00:53:03,170 --> 00:53:06,160 One little flaw and they scrap the whole project. 788 00:53:06,240 --> 00:53:09,230 Aha! So there is a flaw in the chips. 789 00:53:09,310 --> 00:53:14,040 Well... they're a little bit sensitive to E.M.P. 790 00:53:14,110 --> 00:53:17,200 E.M.P.? Electromagnetic pulse? 791 00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:21,110 Yeah, you know, the kind generated by the detonation of a nuclear device? 792 00:53:21,180 --> 00:53:24,880 I doubt even the toy industry has become quite that competitive. 793 00:53:24,960 --> 00:53:29,760 They said adequate shielding wasn't cost effective. 794 00:53:29,830 --> 00:53:32,800 [ Scoffs ] Did the Medicis ever tell Michelangelo, 795 00:53:32,860 --> 00:53:36,060 ""Sorry, Mike, but marble's not really cost effective. Here's a bag of cement.""? 796 00:53:36,130 --> 00:53:39,970 - l think not! [ Sneezes ] - Gesundheit. 797 00:53:40,040 --> 00:53:45,240 - Thank you. - There shouldn't be any problem 'cause the chips can learn. 798 00:53:45,310 --> 00:53:50,250 Am l not being clear? They can learn within the boundaries of their primary programming. 799 00:53:50,310 --> 00:53:54,880 Whatever the core programming, the X 1000 enhances it from within. 800 00:53:54,950 --> 00:53:58,080 [ Sighs ] So if you've got a problem, it's in your software. 801 00:53:58,150 --> 00:54:00,250 [ Computer Beeping ] 802 00:54:03,260 --> 00:54:06,230 Quick impression for you now-- Jimmy Cagney. Top of the world, Ma! 803 00:54:06,300 --> 00:54:08,990 [ Laughing Hysterically ] 804 00:54:09,070 --> 00:54:11,500 Talk about hampering your career. 805 00:54:11,570 --> 00:54:14,060 - [ Male Sportscaster, indistinct ] - Grab him! 806 00:54:14,140 --> 00:54:17,200 It looks so real, don't it? 807 00:54:17,270 --> 00:54:21,010 - Hit him. Huh? - [ Channel Switches ] 808 00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:23,510 - [ Growling ] - Friend of yours? 809 00:54:23,580 --> 00:54:26,210 Oh. 810 00:54:26,280 --> 00:54:28,720 [ Gorgons Chattering, indistinct ] 811 00:54:30,250 --> 00:54:34,920 - What am l gonna do with you guys? - [ Punch-it ] ...220, 221, 812 00:54:34,990 --> 00:54:36,930 - [ Scratch-it Giggling ] - 222-- 813 00:54:36,990 --> 00:54:39,860 [ Punch-it ] Oh, there goes the record. 814 00:54:41,900 --> 00:54:45,830 Hey. Not so close. You'll, uh... 815 00:54:45,900 --> 00:54:48,930 ruin your eye. 816 00:54:56,510 --> 00:55:00,010 - What are you lookin' at? - l don't know. 817 00:55:00,080 --> 00:55:01,950 [ Ringing ] 818 00:55:04,690 --> 00:55:06,620 - Hello? - [ Christy ] Alan? 819 00:55:06,690 --> 00:55:10,250 - Christy? - Well, are you grounded? 820 00:55:10,330 --> 00:55:13,760 - No, my dad cooled off. - So we did it. 821 00:55:13,830 --> 00:55:18,790 Yeah, and the best part is l found all those lost toys. 822 00:55:18,870 --> 00:55:21,890 - You were really a big help. - Cool. 823 00:55:21,970 --> 00:55:23,910 - [ lnsaniac Chuckling ] - [ Alan ] Hey! 824 00:55:23,970 --> 00:55:26,970 - So, Alan, what do you think, boxers or briefs? Ha-ha! - Get those off your head. 825 00:55:27,040 --> 00:55:29,600 - Ha-ha. But seriously-- - [ Christy ] What's going on? 826 00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:32,670 - Actually, I'm allergic to plaid. - [ Alan ] Nothing. 827 00:55:32,750 --> 00:55:37,650 - So, l was thinking we should celebrate sometime. You know, - One... two-- 828 00:55:37,720 --> 00:55:41,660 - go to a movie or something. - Alan, l only date older guys. 829 00:55:41,730 --> 00:55:44,590 - It's nothing personal. - Oh. 830 00:55:44,660 --> 00:55:49,560 Anyway, what l mean is, officially, I'm going out with Brad. 831 00:55:49,630 --> 00:55:53,400 Well, what about unofficially? Or superficially? 832 00:55:53,470 --> 00:55:56,960 [ Christy ] Well, there is this one guy, but he's kind of a smart aleck... 833 00:55:57,040 --> 00:55:59,600 and a bit of a troublemaker. 834 00:55:59,680 --> 00:56:03,610 [ Alan ] Well, I'm sure he'd be willing to give it all up for you. 835 00:56:03,680 --> 00:56:07,780 - l know l would. - [ Laughs ] Oh, Alan. 836 00:56:07,850 --> 00:56:10,290 [ Machinery Revving ] 837 00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:18,490 - Another one bites the dust - it's party time. 838 00:56:18,560 --> 00:56:21,000 - Another one bites the dust - [ Chuckling ] 839 00:56:21,060 --> 00:56:23,970 And another one's gone And another one's gone Another one bites the dust 840 00:56:24,030 --> 00:56:27,300 - Hey, it's gonna get you too - One phat ride! 841 00:56:27,370 --> 00:56:30,100 - Another one bites the dust - [ Electrical Crackling ] 842 00:56:31,910 --> 00:56:33,840 Transmission intercepted, sir. 843 00:56:33,910 --> 00:56:36,850 The Gorgonites are alive and bivouacked at the enemy stronghold, 844 00:56:36,910 --> 00:56:40,210 - and the enemy has revealed an age-old weakness. - [ Clicks ] 845 00:56:40,280 --> 00:56:42,680 [ Alan's Voice ] I'm sure he'd be willing to give it all up for you. 846 00:56:42,750 --> 00:56:45,880 - l know l would. - Put yourself in for a commendation. 847 00:56:45,960 --> 00:56:48,450 - Doo-dah - Soldiers! 848 00:56:48,530 --> 00:56:51,150 We have a window of opportunity. We will exploit it. 849 00:56:51,230 --> 00:56:53,990 - Draw the enemy out and crush the Gorgonites! - All right 850 00:56:54,060 --> 00:56:59,020 We must go behind enemy lines to secure a hostage. Prepare to move out. 851 00:56:59,100 --> 00:57:02,660 - Hop it, jarheads! - [ Metal Clinking ] 852 00:57:02,740 --> 00:57:05,300 [ TV, indistinct ] 853 00:57:05,380 --> 00:57:08,370 l guess you guys are safe as long as you stay here. 854 00:57:11,650 --> 00:57:14,640 - What are you lookin' for? - Gorgon. 855 00:57:15,790 --> 00:57:17,810 Well, this is a national park. 856 00:57:17,890 --> 00:57:23,720 - The lsle of Gorgon is our homeland. - Will you help us find it? 857 00:57:23,790 --> 00:57:26,090 I don't think you're gonna find it in there. 858 00:57:26,160 --> 00:57:31,900 Alan, if Gorgon is not in that window, is it in this one? 859 00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:39,570 There's nothing in windows. There's... stuff outside them. 860 00:57:39,640 --> 00:57:41,940 - What stuff? - You know. 861 00:57:42,010 --> 00:57:45,670 Outside. Trees. Power pole. 862 00:57:46,920 --> 00:57:50,550 - Christy's house. - And beyond that? 863 00:57:51,650 --> 00:57:53,590 The mall. 864 00:57:53,660 --> 00:57:57,020 - And beyond that? - That's the highway. 865 00:57:57,090 --> 00:58:02,030 - And beyond that? - About a million acres of farm. 866 00:58:02,100 --> 00:58:04,620 And what's beyond that? 867 00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:07,940 I don't know. 868 00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:09,940 Hmm. 869 00:58:11,040 --> 00:58:13,840 Gorgon. 870 00:58:15,450 --> 00:58:18,780 Live, via satellite, 257 channels, 871 00:58:18,850 --> 00:58:20,820 closed captioning for the hearing impaired... 872 00:58:20,880 --> 00:58:22,880 and Dolby stereo, where available, 873 00:58:22,950 --> 00:58:25,510 which is right here, right now! 874 00:58:25,590 --> 00:58:29,120 - [ Man Speaking, indistinct ] - What a great picture. 875 00:58:29,190 --> 00:58:31,630 It's perfect. 876 00:58:31,690 --> 00:58:34,790 I don't know. Looks kinda fuzzy. 877 00:58:34,860 --> 00:58:38,490 Let me try something else. 878 00:58:38,570 --> 00:58:40,500 [ Explosions ] 879 00:58:40,570 --> 00:58:42,130 Oh, for Pete's sake, Phil! 880 00:58:44,870 --> 00:58:47,310 Maybe if l tweak the brightness a little. 881 00:58:47,380 --> 00:58:51,910 No, no. It's the chroma. Flesh tones way off, way off. 882 00:58:53,080 --> 00:58:55,020 [ Marion ] Look, now it's green. Just-- 883 00:58:55,080 --> 00:58:57,520 - Stand down, men. - [ Phil ] He's a ghost. 884 00:58:57,590 --> 00:58:59,520 We must neutralize these civilians. 885 00:58:59,590 --> 00:59:04,250 - l paid a lot for this thing. l don't want a ghost. - [ Electronic Beeping ] 886 00:59:14,400 --> 00:59:17,070 Follow me. [ Laughing ] 887 00:59:19,880 --> 00:59:21,870 It's a trap, sir. 888 00:59:21,950 --> 00:59:23,850 - [ Screaming ] - [ Chip ] Good. Bring it here, soldier. 889 00:59:26,120 --> 00:59:30,980 Chemical warfare. Operation Sandman. 890 00:59:36,490 --> 00:59:39,980 Fire when ready, Private. 891 00:59:41,160 --> 00:59:43,100 [ TV, indistinct ] 892 00:59:43,170 --> 00:59:45,570 [ Phil ] Audie Murphy, a most decorated war hero. 893 00:59:51,770 --> 00:59:54,570 I think World War ll was my favorite war. 894 00:59:55,650 --> 00:59:58,910 Uh-huh. 895 00:59:58,980 --> 01:00:02,250 No sign of the target, sir. The area is secured. 896 01:00:02,320 --> 01:00:04,680 Don't worry, she'll be here. 897 01:00:04,750 --> 01:00:06,690 [ TV Continues ] 898 01:00:10,260 --> 01:00:14,200 - [ Sighs ] - [ Groaning ] 899 01:00:14,260 --> 01:00:16,460 This is where we'll engage the target. 900 01:00:16,530 --> 01:00:19,160 Set up concealed positions and prepare for ambush. 901 01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:21,170 [ Timmy ] Oh, man! 902 01:00:21,240 --> 01:00:24,670 I can't believe they got me the whole set! 903 01:00:24,740 --> 01:00:26,680 Hold your fire, men! 904 01:00:26,740 --> 01:00:28,680 Cool, you can talk. 905 01:00:28,750 --> 01:00:31,210 You must be the leader. 906 01:00:31,280 --> 01:00:34,270 Except one day, you get shot. 907 01:00:34,350 --> 01:00:36,840 Bam! [ Screams ] 908 01:00:38,890 --> 01:00:43,950 And this guy gets promoted, and now he's the leader. Yes! 909 01:00:44,030 --> 01:00:47,460 - Wasn't my idea, Major. - Commandos, attack! 910 01:00:47,530 --> 01:00:50,400 - [ Link ] Pile on the kid! - [ Yelling, Shouting ] 911 01:00:58,640 --> 01:01:01,110 Son, you can be a prisoner or a casualty. 912 01:01:01,180 --> 01:01:03,110 - It's up to you. - [ Grunting ] 913 01:01:03,180 --> 01:01:06,240 - Sir! Over here, sir. - Oh, man. l hate baby-sitting. 914 01:01:06,320 --> 01:01:09,250 - What is it, soldier? - Take a look, sir. 915 01:01:12,190 --> 01:01:14,120 Bombshells, sir. 916 01:01:16,890 --> 01:01:20,120 - Fully posable. - [ Both Laughing ] 917 01:01:21,400 --> 01:01:25,490 - [ Kip ] Hello, Dolly. - [ Whistling ] 918 01:01:25,570 --> 01:01:27,730 Mm-hmm! Sweet stuff. 919 01:01:28,810 --> 01:01:33,570 - Hubba-hubba! - R & R, sir? 920 01:01:33,640 --> 01:01:36,270 - Uh, request a three-day pass, sir. - Denied! 921 01:01:36,350 --> 01:01:38,870 - Aww! - Gentlemen, this is the new army. 922 01:01:38,950 --> 01:01:41,110 Those are reinforcements. 923 01:01:41,180 --> 01:01:45,920 Bring me the head of Nick Nitro. Move! 924 01:01:52,760 --> 01:01:55,420 Soldier, your memory will live on. 925 01:01:58,170 --> 01:02:00,570 - [ Gasping ] - [ Butch ] Damn! 926 01:02:00,640 --> 01:02:03,970 - [ Link ] Criminy! - [ Butch ] l think I'm gonna hurl. 927 01:02:06,580 --> 01:02:09,940 A mind is a terrible thing to waste. 928 01:02:14,420 --> 01:02:17,390 [ Electrical Crackling ] 929 01:02:19,320 --> 01:02:21,260 [ Mechanical Whirring ] 930 01:02:32,970 --> 01:02:35,900 [ Electronic Chanting ] 931 01:02:42,580 --> 01:02:44,440 [ Electronic Pulse ] 932 01:02:47,550 --> 01:02:49,850 [ Electrical Crackling Continues ] 933 01:03:01,730 --> 01:03:04,670 [ indistinct Chattering ] 934 01:03:04,730 --> 01:03:07,500 - [ Sinister Laughing ] - [ Chattering Continues ] 935 01:03:07,570 --> 01:03:10,510 It's alive! It's alive! [ Laughing ] 936 01:03:12,380 --> 01:03:17,400 Hi, there! Cannon Fodder Gwendy, reporting for duty, sir. 937 01:03:17,480 --> 01:03:20,040 Carry on, soldier. 938 01:03:21,880 --> 01:03:24,820 Oh. 939 01:03:24,890 --> 01:03:26,820 I feel your pain. 940 01:03:28,420 --> 01:03:32,360 - [ Purring ] - [ lnsaniac Singing, indistinct ] 941 01:03:38,770 --> 01:03:40,700 [ Meows ] 942 01:03:48,710 --> 01:03:50,650 Alan, 943 01:03:50,710 --> 01:03:53,310 - the Commando Elite are in the trees. - [ Sighs ] 944 01:03:53,380 --> 01:03:55,910 They're not moving 'cause of the Commandos. 945 01:03:55,990 --> 01:03:57,920 It's the wind. 946 01:03:57,990 --> 01:03:59,920 See? 947 01:03:59,990 --> 01:04:01,920 I see your hand. 948 01:04:01,990 --> 01:04:05,590 The wind's blowing. You can feel it. 949 01:04:05,660 --> 01:04:07,600 Feel? 950 01:04:07,660 --> 01:04:09,790 Oh, right. Plastic. 951 01:04:09,870 --> 01:04:11,800 Sorry. 952 01:04:11,870 --> 01:04:15,030 It's um-- it's kinda hard to describe. 953 01:04:15,100 --> 01:04:17,660 Weather patterns. Wind chill factor. 954 01:04:19,280 --> 01:04:22,040 Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. 955 01:04:23,750 --> 01:04:26,040 See? 956 01:04:28,920 --> 01:04:30,850 Win-n-n-n-d. 957 01:04:33,120 --> 01:04:35,060 - [ Door Opening ] - [ TV, indistinct ] 958 01:04:35,120 --> 01:04:38,790 Mom? Dad? I'm home. 959 01:04:38,860 --> 01:04:41,130 - They're asleep. - You know what that means. 960 01:04:41,200 --> 01:04:43,460 It means they could wake up any second. 961 01:04:44,700 --> 01:04:46,930 You know, you are such a major hottie. 962 01:04:47,000 --> 01:04:49,670 [ Laughs ] You are such a major sweet talker. 963 01:04:51,070 --> 01:04:53,230 - Good night. - Good night. 964 01:04:53,310 --> 01:04:56,370 [ TV Continues ] 965 01:04:56,450 --> 01:04:58,410 [ Sighs ] 966 01:05:00,120 --> 01:05:02,520 [ Whimpering ] 967 01:05:09,160 --> 01:05:11,650 My bike won't start. 968 01:05:11,730 --> 01:05:14,320 I got nowhere to go. Can l come in? 969 01:05:14,400 --> 01:05:16,330 Oh, no. That's not it. 970 01:05:18,200 --> 01:05:20,130 [ Clicking ] 971 01:05:25,680 --> 01:05:27,440 [ Door Slams Shut ] 972 01:05:29,150 --> 01:05:31,080 - [ Gasps ] - [ Giggling ] 973 01:05:35,690 --> 01:05:38,620 [ Electrical Crackling, Humming ] 974 01:05:46,000 --> 01:05:48,330 Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. 975 01:05:50,470 --> 01:05:53,460 [ All Giggling ] 976 01:05:55,440 --> 01:05:59,310 - Let's do something fun. - We'll all get facials. 977 01:05:59,380 --> 01:06:02,210 - Did l overpluck my eyebrows? - [ Laughing ] 978 01:06:03,850 --> 01:06:05,780 [ Rock ] 979 01:06:10,820 --> 01:06:13,480 Yee-ha! 980 01:06:25,130 --> 01:06:27,070 Whoa! 981 01:06:27,140 --> 01:06:29,970 - [ Continues ] - [ indistinct Chattering, Giggling ] 982 01:06:30,040 --> 01:06:32,230 Now it's our turn to play with you. 983 01:06:34,710 --> 01:06:36,840 Let's see if her head comes off. 984 01:06:36,910 --> 01:06:39,880 [ Screaming ] 985 01:06:39,950 --> 01:06:42,210 [ Screaming Continues ] 986 01:06:42,280 --> 01:06:44,220 Christy? 987 01:06:47,590 --> 01:06:49,520 [ Giggling ] 988 01:06:50,560 --> 01:06:52,530 [ Muffled Screams ] 989 01:06:53,860 --> 01:06:56,230 Oh, look, a man. Alley-oop. 990 01:06:57,470 --> 01:06:59,830 Such nice, broad shoulders. Do you work out? 991 01:06:59,900 --> 01:07:03,170 - What's your sign, big boy? - [ Grunting ] 992 01:07:03,240 --> 01:07:07,040 - Makeovers are such a blast. - [ Grunting ] 993 01:07:07,110 --> 01:07:09,440 That haircut is so five minutes ago. 994 01:07:09,510 --> 01:07:11,450 Are you dumping me? [ Screams ] 995 01:07:12,780 --> 01:07:15,250 - Get off me. - [ Screaming ] 996 01:07:15,320 --> 01:07:20,250 Yo, Maggot! An officer and a gentleman does not strike a lady. 997 01:07:20,320 --> 01:07:22,550 What? 998 01:07:22,630 --> 01:07:25,250 Hey! 999 01:07:25,330 --> 01:07:28,260 [ Grunting, Groaning ] 1000 01:07:42,450 --> 01:07:44,380 Are you scared? 1001 01:07:44,450 --> 01:07:47,280 We're all scared. 1002 01:07:48,450 --> 01:07:51,350 You'd have to be crazy not to be scared. 1003 01:07:52,920 --> 01:07:55,020 [ Electronic Whirring ] 1004 01:07:56,260 --> 01:07:58,750 What? 1005 01:08:00,530 --> 01:08:02,460 What? What do you see? 1006 01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:07,940 Ocula? Are you all right? 1007 01:08:08,940 --> 01:08:10,930 I'll get you down. it'll be okay. 1008 01:08:20,080 --> 01:08:22,020 Surrender? 1009 01:08:23,090 --> 01:08:25,050 [ Link ] Smile, girlie! 1010 01:08:25,120 --> 01:08:28,090 Alan, l am safe. l have not been harmed. 1011 01:08:28,160 --> 01:08:31,020 Christy? 1012 01:08:31,090 --> 01:08:33,650 I'm making this statement of my own free will, and under no duress. 1013 01:08:33,730 --> 01:08:36,660 - Yeah, right. Ow! - [ Kip ] Stick to the script. Read it like we wrote it. 1014 01:08:36,730 --> 01:08:38,930 - [ Christy ] Okay. - [ Link ] Make it snappy. 1015 01:08:39,000 --> 01:08:41,870 I will be released safely and unharmed... 1016 01:08:41,940 --> 01:08:44,910 only if the following conditions are met: 1017 01:08:44,970 --> 01:08:47,640 One, surrender the Gorgonite scum. 1018 01:08:47,710 --> 01:08:50,010 [ All Gasping ] 1019 01:08:50,080 --> 01:08:52,010 - Oh, that's it. - [ Kip ] Faster, or we stick ya. 1020 01:08:52,080 --> 01:08:54,020 Alan, please! You have to help. 1021 01:08:54,080 --> 01:08:56,070 - [ Chip ] Zoom in! Get those tears. - Stop. 1022 01:08:56,150 --> 01:09:00,680 - [ lnsaniac ] What else is on? - No! 1023 01:09:03,830 --> 01:09:06,350 If Major Chip Hazard wants a war, 1024 01:09:06,430 --> 01:09:08,860 we'll give him a war. 1025 01:09:08,930 --> 01:09:12,370 - [ Troglokhan ] Please, Alan, don't do this. - [ Punch-it ] We're afraid. 1026 01:09:12,430 --> 01:09:15,630 - [ Slamfist ] We're your friends. - Please, Alan! - Traitor! 1027 01:09:15,700 --> 01:09:18,260 [ lnsaniac ] Hey, how ya doin' tonight? Welcome to the big cardboard box. 1028 01:09:18,340 --> 01:09:22,370 - [ Hysterical Laughing ] - [ Slamfist ] I'll never see Gorgon again. 1029 01:09:22,440 --> 01:09:24,380 [ Troglokhan ] He seemed like such a nice boy. 1030 01:09:24,450 --> 01:09:27,710 - Why would he do this to us? - Three words, folks: Pu-ber-ty. 1031 01:09:27,780 --> 01:09:29,880 - [ Man On TV, indistinct ] - [ Snoring ] 1032 01:09:29,950 --> 01:09:32,890 - [ TV Continues ] - [ Doorbell Rings ] 1033 01:09:32,960 --> 01:09:34,890 Enemy contact. 1034 01:09:34,960 --> 01:09:36,890 Advance with caution. Roll! 1035 01:09:36,960 --> 01:09:38,890 - Ow! - Sorry, sir. 1036 01:09:38,960 --> 01:09:40,900 [ indistinct Chattering ] 1037 01:09:43,470 --> 01:09:45,960 [ Door Creaking Open ] 1038 01:09:47,840 --> 01:09:50,170 Gentlemen, looks like they blinked. 1039 01:09:50,240 --> 01:09:53,570 - Advance and envelope. - [ All ] Sir! Yes, sir! 1040 01:09:53,640 --> 01:09:57,270 - [ indistinct Chattering ] - [ Slamfist ] Alan, I'm feeling very insecure. 1041 01:10:09,890 --> 01:10:11,830 Ready, Archer? 1042 01:10:11,890 --> 01:10:14,990 Alan, are you sure this is a good idea? 1043 01:10:31,910 --> 01:10:34,940 - [ Troglokhan ] We Gorgonites must be free. - [ Slamfist ] l don't feel well. 1044 01:10:35,020 --> 01:10:38,080 [ Punch-it ] Alan, don't do this. You'll be guilt-ridden. 1045 01:10:38,150 --> 01:10:40,090 [ TV, indistinct ] 1046 01:10:49,530 --> 01:10:52,470 [ Snoring Continues ] 1047 01:11:03,850 --> 01:11:07,080 [ Troglokhan ] My aunt was buried alive. I'm very claustrophobic. 1048 01:11:07,150 --> 01:11:11,450 - Rock and roll. - [ Laughing ] l love this job. 1049 01:11:11,520 --> 01:11:15,390 [ Muffled Screaming ] 1050 01:11:17,890 --> 01:11:20,620 - Are you all right? - [ Muffled Chattering ] 1051 01:11:24,400 --> 01:11:26,990 All my makeup is cruelty-free. 1052 01:11:27,070 --> 01:11:30,800 - [ Screaming ] - You come here often? 1053 01:11:30,870 --> 01:11:33,970 Will you take me to the prom? 1054 01:11:34,040 --> 01:11:36,480 [ All Giggling ] 1055 01:11:36,550 --> 01:11:39,780 if you can't accessorize, pulverize. 1056 01:11:39,850 --> 01:11:42,440 Ow! 1057 01:11:44,520 --> 01:11:46,450 [ Screams ] 1058 01:11:47,790 --> 01:11:49,720 You've been a bad boy. 1059 01:11:49,790 --> 01:11:53,190 And now, you must be punished. Yah! 1060 01:11:55,660 --> 01:12:00,660 Watch out, girls. Hissy fit. [ Screaming ] 1061 01:12:00,740 --> 01:12:03,470 You're to die for. [ Screams ] 1062 01:12:03,540 --> 01:12:06,130 [ Gwendy #8 ] Run! She's got a baton! 1063 01:12:06,210 --> 01:12:08,640 [ Gwendy #9 ] it's a baton death march. 1064 01:12:08,710 --> 01:12:11,840 [ Gwendy #8 ] She's gone postal! [ Screaming ] 1065 01:12:17,350 --> 01:12:20,020 [ Gwendy #9 ] Oh, l broke a nail. 1066 01:12:20,090 --> 01:12:23,580 - l always hated these things! - [ Gwendy #7 ] Oh, the humanity! 1067 01:12:23,660 --> 01:12:26,320 - Punch-it ] Alan, how could you betray us? - This is it, men! 1068 01:12:29,870 --> 01:12:32,530 [ All Cheering ] 1069 01:12:32,600 --> 01:12:34,540 [ Growling ] 1070 01:12:34,600 --> 01:12:38,540 [ Tape Recorder Slurring ] Please, help me. 1071 01:12:41,780 --> 01:12:45,740 Commandos, enemy has deployed a decoy target. 1072 01:12:45,810 --> 01:12:48,040 Return to primary positions. 1073 01:12:49,120 --> 01:12:51,050 This is fun. 1074 01:12:51,120 --> 01:12:55,180 [ Gwendys Screaming, Yelling ] 1075 01:12:55,260 --> 01:12:57,190 [ Gwendy #6 ] You're killing me. 1076 01:12:59,260 --> 01:13:01,200 Christy! 1077 01:13:01,260 --> 01:13:03,420 [ Panting ] You rescued me. 1078 01:13:05,630 --> 01:13:07,570 Any time. 1079 01:13:09,840 --> 01:13:11,770 Let's go get those creeps. 1080 01:13:15,780 --> 01:13:17,940 We gotta wake my parents. 1081 01:13:18,010 --> 01:13:20,380 - Open fire! - [ Screams ] 1082 01:13:24,720 --> 01:13:26,650 We have the enemy on the run. 1083 01:13:26,720 --> 01:13:28,780 Exploit and pursue. 1084 01:13:37,370 --> 01:13:39,990 - You've done this before. - Once or twice. 1085 01:13:48,480 --> 01:13:51,940 - Watch it! - You watch it. 1086 01:13:57,150 --> 01:13:59,090 We gotta get help. 1087 01:14:03,490 --> 01:14:05,430 [ Chain Saw Buzzing ] 1088 01:14:05,630 --> 01:14:07,990 [ Link ] Anybody got a garage door opener? 1089 01:14:08,060 --> 01:14:10,620 [ Chain Saw Motor Revving ] 1090 01:14:14,200 --> 01:14:16,140 War 1091 01:14:16,210 --> 01:14:20,440 Yeah, what is it good for Absolutely nothin' 1092 01:14:20,510 --> 01:14:23,380 Commandos, attack! 1093 01:14:23,450 --> 01:14:26,110 War 1094 01:14:26,180 --> 01:14:30,620 What is it good for Absolutely nothin'. Listen to me 1095 01:14:30,690 --> 01:14:34,820 [ Continues ] 1096 01:14:34,890 --> 01:14:37,380 He-e-e-e-y! [ Chuckling ] 1097 01:14:37,460 --> 01:14:39,860 Time to plant some corn. 1098 01:14:43,770 --> 01:14:47,060 Expect no mercy, Gorgonite ally. 1099 01:14:47,140 --> 01:14:49,500 [ Screaming ] 1100 01:14:53,080 --> 01:14:56,340 - I'll get the bike. - [ Screaming ] 1101 01:15:10,860 --> 01:15:13,490 Get on. Come on, hurry. 1102 01:15:14,560 --> 01:15:17,830 [ Continues ] 1103 01:15:25,140 --> 01:15:27,400 - [ Laughing ] - [ Kip ] Hot pursuit. 1104 01:15:30,850 --> 01:15:32,840 [ Laughing ] 1105 01:16:00,680 --> 01:16:02,410 interlock. 1106 01:16:04,480 --> 01:16:07,920 Right side lock. Left side lock. 1107 01:16:09,850 --> 01:16:12,320 Ramming speed! 1108 01:16:27,570 --> 01:16:29,260 Hold on! 1109 01:16:32,810 --> 01:16:35,940 [ All ] Whoa! 1110 01:16:46,020 --> 01:16:47,960 [ Engine Off ] 1111 01:16:49,420 --> 01:16:52,830 [ ""Taps"" ] 1112 01:16:52,890 --> 01:16:55,160 They're toast. 1113 01:16:55,230 --> 01:16:58,170 [ Screaming, Moaning ] 1114 01:17:01,640 --> 01:17:03,830 You think l could drive home? 1115 01:17:03,910 --> 01:17:06,930 - Good idea. - Hey. 1116 01:17:07,010 --> 01:17:09,740 [ Crickets Chirping ] 1117 01:17:22,920 --> 01:17:25,150 - [ Phil ] Your kid kidnapped my daughter, - Uh-oh. 1118 01:17:25,230 --> 01:17:28,320 Tied up my son, drugged me and my wife, and Marion is still tripping! 1119 01:17:29,400 --> 01:17:31,920 Time to hide again. 1120 01:17:32,000 --> 01:17:34,230 [ Phil ] Not to mention the damage to my house-- 1121 01:18:00,400 --> 01:18:02,330 We have lost the battle. 1122 01:18:02,400 --> 01:18:05,630 We will not lose the war. 1123 01:18:05,700 --> 01:18:07,640 [ Man #1 ] Well, that's the last of 'em. 1124 01:18:07,700 --> 01:18:09,640 [ Man #2 ] Somebody's gonna take a bath on this one. 1125 01:18:12,570 --> 01:18:14,510 I think that's all of Friday's delivery. 1126 01:18:14,580 --> 01:18:16,510 - How come they wanted it back? - [ Laughs ] 1127 01:18:16,580 --> 01:18:18,510 Hey, you know the clowns that make these decisions. 1128 01:18:18,580 --> 01:18:20,510 Doesn't matter to them that a bunch of guys are gonna be standing around... 1129 01:18:20,580 --> 01:18:22,520 freezing their tushes off in the middle of the night. 1130 01:18:22,580 --> 01:18:25,050 Just as long as everybody knows who's in charge. 1131 01:18:31,860 --> 01:18:33,790 [ Hydraulic Brakes Hissing ] 1132 01:18:33,860 --> 01:18:36,630 Corporations. 1133 01:18:36,700 --> 01:18:38,860 Right hand doesn't know what the left hand is screwing up. 1134 01:18:40,400 --> 01:18:45,500 - Ah! - Greetings. You've been drafted. Move! 1135 01:18:45,570 --> 01:18:48,130 Ls this entire household insane? 1136 01:18:48,210 --> 01:18:52,200 He says that toy is alive just because it can move a little. 1137 01:18:52,280 --> 01:18:55,910 What's next? The blue fairy drops by with a talking cricket? Please. 1138 01:18:55,980 --> 01:18:58,580 Dad! He's telling the truth. 1139 01:18:58,650 --> 01:19:00,880 He's brainwashed you, hasn't he? 1140 01:19:00,960 --> 01:19:06,420 Don't worry, honey. We'll get you the best deprogrammer money can buy. 1141 01:19:06,500 --> 01:19:09,430 You can't change programming. 1142 01:19:09,500 --> 01:19:12,800 Oh, look. Another one. 1143 01:19:12,870 --> 01:19:15,840 See, l told you they were hiding. 1144 01:19:15,900 --> 01:19:17,840 It's what they do. 1145 01:19:17,910 --> 01:19:19,840 - That's it. Come on, Christy. - Dad! 1146 01:19:19,910 --> 01:19:23,280 - Timmy, Marion, we're outta here. Let's go! Come on! - Oh, no. 1147 01:19:23,350 --> 01:19:25,340 Well, gee, Phil, don't be a stranger, huh? 1148 01:19:28,480 --> 01:19:33,750 Hi. Uh, yes. We're with Heartland Play Systems Consumer Satisfaction. 1149 01:19:33,820 --> 01:19:35,760 Ls there an Alan Abernathy here? 1150 01:19:35,820 --> 01:19:39,090 - That's Alan, right there. - Hey. 1151 01:19:39,160 --> 01:19:42,190 How ya doin'? l understand you recently acquired some of our fine products. 1152 01:19:42,260 --> 01:19:47,200 Uh, there's a chance that they might be, uh, defective. 1153 01:19:47,270 --> 01:19:50,140 Although there's no reason to believe they could cause anybody any harm. 1154 01:19:50,210 --> 01:19:53,800 - Oh, there's reasons. - There is a problem with the Commandos. 1155 01:19:53,880 --> 01:19:55,810 Really? What kind of problem? 1156 01:19:55,880 --> 01:20:00,140 Bear in mind you will be called into court to substantiate your claim. Oh! 1157 01:20:00,220 --> 01:20:03,150 - Your toys nearly killed my son! - Stuart! 1158 01:20:03,220 --> 01:20:06,120 Don't say calm down! Calm was killing me. 1159 01:20:06,190 --> 01:20:08,990 And you, you owe my son an apology. 1160 01:20:10,490 --> 01:20:13,620 Hey, Larry, look. it's Archer. 1161 01:20:13,700 --> 01:20:15,560 Greetings. 1162 01:20:15,630 --> 01:20:19,230 I am Archer. Who are you? 1163 01:20:19,300 --> 01:20:22,630 I'm lrwin. l-- l designed you. 1164 01:20:22,700 --> 01:20:24,640 And all the Gorgonites. 1165 01:20:24,710 --> 01:20:26,640 - [ lnsaniac ] He's the creator. Oy! - Hey. 1166 01:20:30,680 --> 01:20:34,170 - You're all here. - Everybody's got to be somewhere. 1167 01:20:34,250 --> 01:20:38,740 Ah, that's true. My mom used to-- 1168 01:20:38,820 --> 01:20:42,190 You're making declarative statements? Formulating inquiries? 1169 01:20:42,260 --> 01:20:44,920 - [ Electrical Crackling ] - [ Cat Meows ] 1170 01:20:44,990 --> 01:20:49,090 The light's out. [ Sinister Laughing ] 1171 01:20:50,330 --> 01:20:52,660 Something's going on out there. 1172 01:20:56,340 --> 01:20:58,270 Hmm. That's weird. 1173 01:20:58,340 --> 01:21:00,870 There's a Heartland truck outside. 1174 01:21:10,150 --> 01:21:13,090 - Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! - Uh-oh. - Light's covered. 1175 01:21:13,150 --> 01:21:17,220 - More Commandos? - A lot more. 1176 01:21:17,290 --> 01:21:20,630 Dad, come see this for yourself. 1177 01:21:20,700 --> 01:21:22,750 Chip? 1178 01:21:22,830 --> 01:21:25,700 [ Christy ] Dead Chip? The Chip we killed? 1179 01:21:25,770 --> 01:21:27,700 Apparently, we didn't kill him enough. 1180 01:21:29,340 --> 01:21:31,270 Oh, my-- 1181 01:21:31,340 --> 01:21:34,040 [ Chattering, Shouting ] 1182 01:21:34,110 --> 01:21:35,940 Commandos, fall out. 1183 01:21:36,010 --> 01:21:39,500 Secure the left perimeter! Secure the right perimeter! Let's move out! 1184 01:21:39,580 --> 01:21:42,210 - Troops, deploy! - [ All ] Sir! Yes, sir! 1185 01:21:42,280 --> 01:21:45,780 - Assault formation. Go! - [ All ] Hut! Hut! Hut! 1186 01:21:48,720 --> 01:21:51,190 [ Chip ] Gentlemen, if war is hell, then let's give 'em hell! 1187 01:21:51,260 --> 01:21:55,960 - We didn't start this war, but we're damn sure gonna end it. - [ Muffled Grunting ] 1188 01:21:56,030 --> 01:21:57,970 I'm scared. 1189 01:21:58,030 --> 01:22:02,370 Oh, shh! Tim, it's gonna be all right. They're not after you. 1190 01:22:02,440 --> 01:22:05,500 They just wanna kill the little monster people. 1191 01:22:05,570 --> 01:22:09,640 That's right. We're just caught up in some stupid game. 1192 01:22:09,710 --> 01:22:12,080 Well, game over. 1193 01:22:13,150 --> 01:22:15,010 Mr. Fimple, wait a second. 1194 01:22:15,080 --> 01:22:17,950 No, Alan. Let him go. 1195 01:22:23,120 --> 01:22:27,420 - Archer. - The Gorgonites must lose. 1196 01:22:31,400 --> 01:22:33,330 Hi. 1197 01:22:33,400 --> 01:22:36,800 I'm Phil Fimple. 1198 01:22:36,870 --> 01:22:39,740 I'm here to negotiate the surrender of the, uh-- 1199 01:22:39,810 --> 01:22:41,740 ""Gorgonzolas."" 1200 01:22:41,810 --> 01:22:44,300 - Here's our proposal. - Hey. 1201 01:22:44,380 --> 01:22:47,310 He's selling us down the river. The guy's a regular Arnold Benedict. 1202 01:22:47,380 --> 01:22:50,150 I mean, switch 'em off. Take 'em apart. Steal their batteries. 1203 01:22:50,220 --> 01:22:53,150 Whatever it is you... people do. 1204 01:22:55,860 --> 01:22:57,790 Hey. 1205 01:22:59,160 --> 01:23:01,090 Ls that my JVC? 1206 01:23:03,330 --> 01:23:06,270 There will be no surrender! There will be no mercy! 1207 01:23:06,330 --> 01:23:08,830 All Gorgonite scum must die! 1208 01:23:08,900 --> 01:23:12,460 - [ All ] Yeah! - Bomb 'em all the way back to preschool! 1209 01:23:12,540 --> 01:23:15,370 Recon estimates Gorgonite scum strength at 16. 1210 01:23:15,440 --> 01:23:18,810 Sixteen? Where'd they get 16 from? 1211 01:23:18,880 --> 01:23:21,820 Seven Gorgonites and nine people. 1212 01:23:21,880 --> 01:23:25,680 - [ Sinister Laughter ] - Well, you've heard our proposal. 1213 01:23:25,750 --> 01:23:28,020 Phil, get in here! Hurry! 1214 01:23:28,090 --> 01:23:30,820 These negotiations are over! 1215 01:23:36,260 --> 01:23:39,060 We are the Commando Elite. Everything else... 1216 01:23:39,130 --> 01:23:41,730 is just a toy. 1217 01:23:41,800 --> 01:23:43,740 Yo, I'll tell you what l want What l really, really want 1218 01:23:43,810 --> 01:23:46,170 So tell me what you want What you really, really want 1219 01:23:46,240 --> 01:23:48,210 I'll tell you what l want What l really, really want 1220 01:23:48,280 --> 01:23:50,570 - So tell me what you want What you really, really want - What are they doing? 1221 01:23:50,650 --> 01:23:52,740 - [ Continues ] - Psychological warfare. 1222 01:23:52,810 --> 01:23:55,080 The Marines did this against Noriega. 1223 01:23:55,150 --> 01:23:57,680 - if ya wanna be my lover - Phil. 1224 01:23:57,750 --> 01:23:59,690 - Ya gotta get with my friends - Phil! - What? 1225 01:23:59,750 --> 01:24:04,020 - Make it last forever Friendship never ends - l love this song! 1226 01:24:04,090 --> 01:24:07,860 - if ya wanna be my lover you have got to give - Fimple, turn that off! 1227 01:24:07,930 --> 01:24:11,830 Takin' is too easy but that's the way it is 1228 01:24:11,900 --> 01:24:13,930 - Would ya be my lover - Go! Go! Go! Go! 1229 01:24:14,000 --> 01:24:15,940 Now you know how l feel 1230 01:24:16,000 --> 01:24:18,530 Say you can handle my love 1231 01:24:18,610 --> 01:24:21,540 - [ Continues ] - Lock and load. 1232 01:24:21,610 --> 01:24:23,540 Nail 'em. 1233 01:24:23,610 --> 01:24:27,170 - Open fire. - Down! 1234 01:24:34,820 --> 01:24:38,190 - [ Explosions ] - [ TV, indistinct ] 1235 01:24:38,260 --> 01:24:41,130 [ Both ] Fimple. 1236 01:24:42,430 --> 01:24:46,160 - [ Stuart ] Honey! - Oh, boy. 1237 01:24:46,230 --> 01:24:49,200 Stuart, Phil, barricade that window. Alan, get back. 1238 01:24:51,570 --> 01:24:53,510 - [ Screaming ] - Get back! 1239 01:24:55,980 --> 01:24:58,470 - [ Yells ] - [ Screams ] 1240 01:24:58,550 --> 01:25:00,780 Fire! 1241 01:25:03,220 --> 01:25:05,380 - [ Screams ] - Wow! 1242 01:25:05,450 --> 01:25:08,250 - Fire! - How are they-- Look out! 1243 01:25:08,320 --> 01:25:11,820 Alan, put out the fires. 1244 01:25:11,890 --> 01:25:14,230 - Nerds, side windows. - [ Glass Breaking ] 1245 01:25:21,170 --> 01:25:24,940 - Marion. Timmy. The closet. Come on. - [ Glass Breaking ] 1246 01:25:25,010 --> 01:25:27,440 Come on. Hurry! Hurry! 1247 01:25:29,380 --> 01:25:31,870 - [ Gasping ] - Get in! Get down! 1248 01:25:34,520 --> 01:25:37,010 - l have that coat. - Yes! 1249 01:25:39,050 --> 01:25:41,650 Frag 'em all! 1250 01:25:44,360 --> 01:25:46,660 - [ Stuart ] I'm calling the police. - Phil, Christy, push this back. 1251 01:25:46,730 --> 01:25:48,660 Be careful with it. 1252 01:25:50,400 --> 01:25:54,630 - Fire! - [ Screams ] 1253 01:25:54,700 --> 01:25:56,800 Service. 1254 01:25:56,870 --> 01:26:00,530 - Yah! - Great balls of fire. 1255 01:26:00,610 --> 01:26:03,630 The phone's dead. Hey, nice forehand, honey. 1256 01:26:05,210 --> 01:26:08,150 Lncoming! 1257 01:26:09,420 --> 01:26:13,320 - [ indistinct Chattering ] - Take the house! 1258 01:26:13,390 --> 01:26:15,860 We've gotta find a way to stop these guys before my wife gets tennis elbow. 1259 01:26:15,920 --> 01:26:20,450 Hey, you know what might work? An electromagnetic pulse, 'cause that would fry the chips. 1260 01:26:24,030 --> 01:26:26,130 Great! All we need now is a nuclear warhead. 1261 01:26:26,200 --> 01:26:31,000 - I'll check, but l don't think l have one in the junk drawer. - What are you talking about? 1262 01:26:31,070 --> 01:26:33,560 It's the chips. They're not shielded against an electromagnetic pulse. 1263 01:26:33,640 --> 01:26:35,580 A nuclear blast would wipe them out. 1264 01:26:35,640 --> 01:26:37,580 That's why the military never used 'em. 1265 01:26:37,650 --> 01:26:42,810 - What kinda moron would put military technology in toys? - Oh, that'd be Gizmo over here. 1266 01:26:47,120 --> 01:26:50,990 Actually, any electrical device generates a magnetic field. Just not a very big one. 1267 01:26:51,060 --> 01:26:53,890 We're gonna need a big one. 1268 01:26:53,960 --> 01:26:57,590 - [ Sinister Laughing ] - Fire in the hole! 1269 01:27:03,770 --> 01:27:06,100 [ Laughing ] 1270 01:27:06,170 --> 01:27:08,110 Alan, the window. 1271 01:27:10,140 --> 01:27:12,080 [ Chanting ] l don't know, but I've been told... 1272 01:27:12,150 --> 01:27:14,670 Gorgonite blood runs mighty cold. 1273 01:27:14,750 --> 01:27:17,620 - No, Alan. - [ Chanting Continues ] 1274 01:27:20,560 --> 01:27:22,490 Way to stay heads up. 1275 01:27:24,130 --> 01:27:29,120 - Continue artillery barrage! - Take cover! Stay low! 1276 01:27:29,200 --> 01:27:33,000 Look, there's a power pole back there with a couple of huge transformers on it. 1277 01:27:33,070 --> 01:27:35,660 Could we use those to create a big enough electromagnetic whatever? 1278 01:27:35,740 --> 01:27:38,070 Yeah, yeah, yeah. We get 'em to explode. 1279 01:27:38,140 --> 01:27:41,600 Yeah, that would fry their chips for sure. 1280 01:27:41,680 --> 01:27:43,610 You could connect the transformers together. 1281 01:27:43,680 --> 01:27:46,810 We just need to put something metal between the transformers to complete the circuit. 1282 01:27:46,880 --> 01:27:51,410 You get a nice power boost, right up until they overload and blow up. 1283 01:27:51,490 --> 01:27:53,420 It only happened once! 1284 01:27:54,990 --> 01:27:57,980 - Ooh! - [ Meows ] 1285 01:27:58,060 --> 01:28:00,960 That's it! [ Grunting ] 1286 01:28:01,030 --> 01:28:03,120 [ Screaming ] 1287 01:28:03,200 --> 01:28:05,130 [ Laughing ] 1288 01:28:05,200 --> 01:28:07,500 This oughta work. 1289 01:28:09,370 --> 01:28:13,170 - Alan? Alan. - [ Sighs ] 1290 01:28:13,240 --> 01:28:17,040 Whatever you are thinking, forget about it. You're not going out there. 1291 01:28:17,110 --> 01:28:19,050 - There's no time. I've got to. - it's too dangerous. 1292 01:28:19,110 --> 01:28:23,070 - We've only got one chance. - You are my responsibility. I'm not about to let you-- 1293 01:28:23,150 --> 01:28:25,850 Dad! There is no other way. 1294 01:28:35,200 --> 01:28:37,130 You have to trust me. 1295 01:28:37,200 --> 01:28:40,330 - Wait. - [ Glass Breaking ] 1296 01:28:40,400 --> 01:28:42,670 - It's dark in here. - Yeah, it's night, genius. 1297 01:28:42,740 --> 01:28:45,570 No, no. l mean, there's gotta be power going through the transformers... 1298 01:28:45,640 --> 01:28:48,370 in order for them to overload. 1299 01:28:48,440 --> 01:28:50,600 [ Explosions Continue ] 1300 01:28:50,680 --> 01:28:54,170 Power's still on at my house, and we've got plenty of electronic crap to turn on. 1301 01:28:54,250 --> 01:28:59,120 [ lrwin ] Okay, we have to get to your fuse box and wedge the breakers open. Come on, Larry. 1302 01:28:59,190 --> 01:29:01,820 I hate you, lrwin. 1303 01:29:01,890 --> 01:29:03,820 - [ Helicopter Approaching ] - [ ""Ride of the Valkyries"" ] 1304 01:29:03,890 --> 01:29:08,060 [ Chip ] We have met the enemy, and he is you! 1305 01:29:08,130 --> 01:29:10,560 [ Gasps ] 1306 01:29:14,440 --> 01:29:18,740 - Oh! - [ Chip ] l love the smell of polyurethane in the morning! 1307 01:29:18,810 --> 01:29:21,640 [ lrene ] Oh, my God! 1308 01:29:21,710 --> 01:29:23,640 Phil, in here. In here. 1309 01:29:26,380 --> 01:29:29,110 It's locked. 1310 01:29:29,180 --> 01:29:31,310 [ Gasps ] Come on, Phil! 1311 01:29:31,390 --> 01:29:33,910 Up, up, up. Up, up, up. Whoa! 1312 01:29:33,990 --> 01:29:37,920 - Balcony's closed. - Down, down, down, down, down, down. 1313 01:29:37,990 --> 01:29:40,390 Descend and destroy. 1314 01:29:44,430 --> 01:29:48,530 Let me in. Damn it! Fimple, you freak! Let me in. 1315 01:29:49,800 --> 01:29:54,670 All quite on the western front... yard. 1316 01:29:54,740 --> 01:29:58,010 [ lrwin ] You go and turn on every piece of electronic equipment in the house. Okay? 1317 01:29:58,080 --> 01:30:01,950 - [ Kip ] This one's for Nick Nitro! - [ Bomb Exploding ] 1318 01:30:03,150 --> 01:30:05,090 [ Sinister Laughing ] 1319 01:30:05,150 --> 01:30:07,090 Mess around with my kid, will ya? 1320 01:30:07,160 --> 01:30:09,450 Ho, ho, ho, a broomstick. I'm scared. 1321 01:30:09,520 --> 01:30:11,550 Let's get him! 1322 01:30:11,630 --> 01:30:13,750 [ Brick ] First blood! 1323 01:30:13,830 --> 01:30:16,700 Now, stick this in your pipe and smoke it! 1324 01:30:18,270 --> 01:30:20,600 [ Screaming ] 1325 01:30:20,670 --> 01:30:23,930 - [ Yelling, indistinct ] - All right, Dad! 1326 01:30:25,870 --> 01:30:28,900 We roasted 'em. 1327 01:30:28,980 --> 01:30:31,410 There they are. Nail 'em! 1328 01:30:31,480 --> 01:30:33,140 Not good. 1329 01:30:33,210 --> 01:30:36,650 Hey, kid. Don't you like nine-inch nails? 1330 01:30:36,720 --> 01:30:39,450 Oh! 1331 01:30:39,520 --> 01:30:41,450 I got hit. I'm all right. I'm all right. 1332 01:30:41,520 --> 01:30:43,650 [ Sinister Laughing ] 1333 01:30:43,890 --> 01:30:47,380 Gorgonites, we must help Alan. 1334 01:30:47,460 --> 01:30:51,460 But if we fight, we will lose. 1335 01:30:51,530 --> 01:30:54,090 Last time we fought, l woke up with AM/FM. 1336 01:30:54,170 --> 01:30:56,400 I tell you, war is nuts, and l know what l am talking about. 1337 01:30:56,470 --> 01:30:59,130 We shouldn't fight. We should hide. 1338 01:30:59,210 --> 01:31:02,270 If we hide, we will still lose. 1339 01:31:02,340 --> 01:31:05,470 No more hiding. 1340 01:31:05,550 --> 01:31:08,740 - Nail 'em. Nail 'em to the wall. - Oh, yeah. 1341 01:31:09,820 --> 01:31:12,080 [ Grunts ] 1342 01:31:12,150 --> 01:31:14,920 - Gorgonites, fight! - Uh-oh. 1343 01:31:14,990 --> 01:31:18,120 - [ Grunting ] - [ Groans ] 1344 01:31:19,590 --> 01:31:24,860 Sanctuary! Sanctuary! [ Yodeling ] 1345 01:31:27,030 --> 01:31:29,630 [ Snorts ] 1346 01:31:29,700 --> 01:31:31,640 Strike! 1347 01:31:31,710 --> 01:31:33,670 [ Commando ] Retreat! 1348 01:31:35,510 --> 01:31:38,640 [ Laughing ] Hey, meet my wife, the old ball and chain. 1349 01:31:38,710 --> 01:31:40,650 Hey, l love working in the round. 1350 01:31:40,720 --> 01:31:42,710 I'm knocking 'em dead. Oh, look at that. 1351 01:31:42,780 --> 01:31:44,720 You don't like stand up, huh, G.l.? Then sit down! 1352 01:31:44,790 --> 01:31:47,190 Thank you and good night, ladies and germs. 1353 01:31:47,260 --> 01:31:49,380 [ Laughing Hysterically ] 1354 01:31:51,460 --> 01:31:54,390 Oh, how do you work this thing? Oops! Wrong way. That's better. 1355 01:31:54,460 --> 01:31:56,400 [ Archer ] Alan? 1356 01:31:59,470 --> 01:32:01,700 You should go now. 1357 01:32:01,770 --> 01:32:04,700 Archer, listen. 1358 01:32:04,770 --> 01:32:08,370 When that thing explodes, you're going to be fried, just like the Commandos. 1359 01:32:09,780 --> 01:32:11,970 Go. 1360 01:32:14,280 --> 01:32:16,650 [ Laughs ] Take that! 1361 01:32:16,720 --> 01:32:19,880 [ Moaning ] 1362 01:32:19,950 --> 01:32:22,250 Wa-Watch your back. 1363 01:32:22,320 --> 01:32:24,260 Thanks, Dad. 1364 01:32:25,930 --> 01:32:29,060 [ Troglokhan ] Go, Alan. 1365 01:32:29,130 --> 01:32:32,570 [ Slamfist ] I'm watching your back, Alan. 1366 01:32:32,630 --> 01:32:35,160 [ Commandos Yelling, indistinct ] 1367 01:32:43,480 --> 01:32:45,410 What are you packin', Tiny? 1368 01:32:45,480 --> 01:32:48,240 Packin'? Packin' you. 1369 01:32:54,360 --> 01:32:57,690 It's not a prank call. No, it's not. 1370 01:32:57,760 --> 01:32:59,690 No, wait. It is. 1371 01:32:59,760 --> 01:33:02,190 So you'll send some cops to come and arrest me. Right? 1372 01:33:02,260 --> 01:33:04,200 Oh, no. Don't hang up. 1373 01:33:06,830 --> 01:33:08,770 - Oh! - Do you know what you're doing? 1374 01:33:08,840 --> 01:33:10,900 Oh. Yeah. 1375 01:33:12,210 --> 01:33:14,070 [ Groans ] 1376 01:33:38,730 --> 01:33:40,670 Die! 1377 01:33:45,370 --> 01:33:48,000 Ain't war hell? 1378 01:33:53,180 --> 01:33:55,740 [ Sinister Laughing ] 1379 01:33:55,820 --> 01:33:58,310 Thanks for the lift, Punch-it. 1380 01:34:04,730 --> 01:34:07,130 Mayday! Mayday! I'm hit. I'm hit! 1381 01:34:09,760 --> 01:34:12,600 I'm going down. Ejecting! 1382 01:34:27,650 --> 01:34:30,210 Expect no mercy. [ Yells ] 1383 01:34:30,280 --> 01:34:32,220 [ Screams ] 1384 01:34:38,560 --> 01:34:41,050 [ Chip Chuckling ] 1385 01:34:53,770 --> 01:34:55,830 Having fun yet? 1386 01:35:00,920 --> 01:35:05,480 Okay. Let's have a round and a round and a round of applause for Archer, 1387 01:35:05,550 --> 01:35:08,150 emissary of the Gorgonites. [ Laughs ] 1388 01:35:08,220 --> 01:35:09,880 You're up. 1389 01:35:15,000 --> 01:35:17,090 Major Chip Hazard. 1390 01:35:17,160 --> 01:35:20,000 Gorgonite scum! 1391 01:35:20,070 --> 01:35:23,370 Leave Alan alone. Your fight is with me. 1392 01:35:23,440 --> 01:35:25,410 You got a lot of guts. 1393 01:35:25,470 --> 01:35:28,070 Let's see what they look like. 1394 01:35:28,140 --> 01:35:29,670 [ Yelling ] 1395 01:35:29,740 --> 01:35:33,540 They're wires and metal, the same as yours. 1396 01:35:33,610 --> 01:35:35,710 [ Grunting, Groaning ] 1397 01:35:35,780 --> 01:35:39,480 We're nothing alike. You are programmed to lose! 1398 01:35:39,550 --> 01:35:42,720 - [ Grunts ] - [ Groans ] 1399 01:35:42,790 --> 01:35:45,550 I'm also programmed to learn. 1400 01:35:45,630 --> 01:35:48,890 Too bad you never learned to win. 1401 01:35:52,230 --> 01:35:54,570 School's out, loser. 1402 01:35:54,640 --> 01:35:56,570 Hyah! 1403 01:36:02,440 --> 01:36:04,380 Victory is ours! 1404 01:36:04,450 --> 01:36:06,910 Have l got a shock for you. 1405 01:36:06,980 --> 01:36:08,950 You stupid toy! 1406 01:36:09,020 --> 01:36:11,950 Aah! 1407 01:36:15,790 --> 01:36:17,880 [ Groaning ] 1408 01:36:21,500 --> 01:36:24,860 [ Chattering, Yelling ] 1409 01:36:27,700 --> 01:36:30,730 [ Lawn Mower Approaching ] 1410 01:36:32,710 --> 01:36:35,730 - [ Commando ] Run for it! Watch out! - [ Screaming, Yelling ] 1411 01:36:37,210 --> 01:36:39,150 [ Screaming Continues ] 1412 01:36:49,790 --> 01:36:52,450 Get on! 1413 01:36:52,530 --> 01:36:54,460 Ls this going to be a pattern for our relationship? 1414 01:36:54,530 --> 01:36:58,990 - Relationship? - [ Groaning ] 1415 01:36:59,070 --> 01:37:01,800 - This isn't dangerous, is it? - Well, it just depends on-- 1416 01:37:01,870 --> 01:37:03,800 Ow! 1417 01:37:13,210 --> 01:37:15,650 - It's dead! - [ Engine Stops ] 1418 01:37:21,990 --> 01:37:23,920 - Are you all right? - Yeah. 1419 01:37:23,990 --> 01:37:27,020 [ All Screaming ] 1420 01:37:28,100 --> 01:37:32,120 [ Chattering Rapidly ] 1421 01:37:32,200 --> 01:37:34,760 [ Groaning ] 1422 01:37:34,840 --> 01:37:36,770 Medic! 1423 01:37:37,840 --> 01:37:41,770 [ Distorted ] There will be no mercy. 1424 01:37:44,550 --> 01:37:46,310 [ indistinct Chattering ] 1425 01:37:54,090 --> 01:37:57,420 Situation is stabilizing. Local law enforcement is under control. 1426 01:37:57,490 --> 01:37:59,960 There's just a matter of compensating the parties involved. 1427 01:38:00,030 --> 01:38:02,460 Hold. You. [ Continues, indistinct ] 1428 01:38:10,700 --> 01:38:13,730 The area is secure. Bring him in. 1429 01:38:17,810 --> 01:38:19,750 Wow! Who is that? 1430 01:38:21,550 --> 01:38:25,710 Oh, no. it's him. 1431 01:38:46,770 --> 01:38:49,500 [ Sighs ] How you doin', uh, Joe? 1432 01:38:49,580 --> 01:38:51,510 - How'd you like to do me a big favor? - Anything, sir. 1433 01:38:51,580 --> 01:38:54,140 Why don't you move your truck with the giant Globotech logo on it... 1434 01:38:54,210 --> 01:38:56,680 before the damn news crews get here? 1435 01:38:56,750 --> 01:39:01,020 I don't know, Mr. Mars. l may have some trouble handling the gears, 1436 01:39:01,090 --> 01:39:04,420 what with the critical head injury and emotional distress I've suffered lately. 1437 01:39:06,760 --> 01:39:09,190 - Whoa! Yes, sir. Right away. - Thank you. 1438 01:39:09,260 --> 01:39:11,660 Excuse me, you're not off the hook yet. 1439 01:39:11,730 --> 01:39:14,390 There's just the little matter of the massive damage to my home... 1440 01:39:14,470 --> 01:39:17,370 and my garage and my audiovisual components system-- 1441 01:39:17,440 --> 01:39:20,930 - This is good. Thanks. - Bye-Bye. 1442 01:39:21,010 --> 01:39:25,140 Excuse me, Mr. Whoever-The-Hell-You-Are. What about our house? 1443 01:39:25,210 --> 01:39:27,150 [ Glass Shattering ] 1444 01:39:27,210 --> 01:39:29,550 What about the pain and the anguish and the-the-- 1445 01:39:29,620 --> 01:39:31,550 - Humiliation. - The humiliation. 1446 01:39:31,620 --> 01:39:34,990 I don't think even you have enough money to pay for that. 1447 01:39:35,060 --> 01:39:37,820 Okay, maybe you do. 1448 01:39:37,890 --> 01:39:40,420 Hey, Alan. Keep your nose clean, kid. 1449 01:39:40,490 --> 01:39:44,020 I'll try. Listen, uh-- 1450 01:39:44,100 --> 01:39:48,030 l just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. 1451 01:39:48,100 --> 01:39:50,040 Forget it. 1452 01:39:51,240 --> 01:39:53,730 Toys is hell. 1453 01:39:53,810 --> 01:39:59,610 Uh, Mr. Mars, hi. l just want to assure you that l-- 1454 01:39:59,680 --> 01:40:02,110 l take full responsibility for all of this. 1455 01:40:02,180 --> 01:40:04,580 Yeah, right. Give me that. 1456 01:40:04,650 --> 01:40:09,450 - What were we charging for these things? - Seventy-nine ninety-five. 1457 01:40:09,520 --> 01:40:14,020 Tell you what. Add a few zeros to that and get in touch with our military division. 1458 01:40:14,090 --> 01:40:16,360 I know some rebels in South America who are going to find these toys... 1459 01:40:16,430 --> 01:40:18,920 very entertaining. 1460 01:40:19,000 --> 01:40:23,270 - Dad, know my birthday? - Uh-huh. 1461 01:40:23,340 --> 01:40:25,310 I just want clothes. 1462 01:40:25,370 --> 01:40:27,430 [ Laughs ] Come on, Christy. 1463 01:40:31,280 --> 01:40:34,510 - [ Sighs ] - Any sign of the Gorgonites? 1464 01:40:34,580 --> 01:40:38,020 No, none of them. 1465 01:40:38,090 --> 01:40:40,020 - [ Sighs ] - [ Phil ] Come on, Christy. 1466 01:40:40,090 --> 01:40:42,850 - l better go. - Yeah, okay. 1467 01:40:51,070 --> 01:40:54,000 Too bad. This would have made a hell of a commercial. 1468 01:41:27,670 --> 01:41:30,600 Archer? 1469 01:41:40,150 --> 01:41:42,910 Archer? 1470 01:41:42,980 --> 01:41:45,350 Archer, are you all right? 1471 01:41:45,420 --> 01:41:47,350 Halt! Who goes there? 1472 01:41:47,420 --> 01:41:51,980 Greetings. l am Archer, emissary of the Gorgonites. 1473 01:41:52,060 --> 01:41:55,030 Greetings. l am Archer, emissary of the Gorgonites. 1474 01:41:55,100 --> 01:41:58,790 - Oh, man. Your chip got fried just like the Commandos. - [ Message Continues ] 1475 01:42:01,170 --> 01:42:03,100 The Commandos are dead? 1476 01:42:07,010 --> 01:42:09,130 Gorgonites, we won! 1477 01:42:09,210 --> 01:42:11,730 We did? 1478 01:42:11,810 --> 01:42:14,800 - [ Chuckles ] - Well, that's a pleasant surprise. 1479 01:42:14,880 --> 01:42:17,580 Satellite dish must have shielded you guys. 1480 01:42:17,650 --> 01:42:19,590 - Pretty smart. - [ lnsaniac ] Yeah, smart. 1481 01:42:19,650 --> 01:42:21,950 - We're lucky is what we are. - I'm glad you made it, Archer. 1482 01:42:22,020 --> 01:42:25,150 I'm glad you made it, Alan. 1483 01:42:25,230 --> 01:42:27,590 [ lnsaniac Laughing ] All right, I'm serious. 1484 01:42:27,660 --> 01:42:32,460 - Gorgonites, we're free. - Thank you, Alan, destroyer of Commandos. 1485 01:42:32,530 --> 01:42:35,760 - We are free! - [ lnsaniac ] Free? What about the cover charge? 1486 01:42:37,670 --> 01:42:39,610 [ Punch-it ] Let me get in first, because I'm big. 1487 01:42:39,670 --> 01:42:41,610 [ lnsaniac ] Well, where am l going to sit? 1488 01:42:41,680 --> 01:42:43,610 Oh, I'm going to get up in the crow's nest. Hey, there's a dead crow up here. 1489 01:42:43,680 --> 01:42:45,610 [ Laughs ] I'm kidding. 1490 01:42:45,680 --> 01:42:48,270 Okay. 1491 01:42:48,350 --> 01:42:50,910 Are you sure you guys want to do this? 1492 01:42:50,980 --> 01:42:54,750 Yes, Alan. it is time. 1493 01:42:54,820 --> 01:42:59,190 Archer, l understand why, but you might not find Gorgon. 1494 01:42:59,260 --> 01:43:01,190 - It may not even-- - Alan, 1495 01:43:01,260 --> 01:43:06,630 even if you can't see something, it doesn't mean it isn't there. 1496 01:43:11,540 --> 01:43:13,470 [ Sighs ] 1497 01:43:13,540 --> 01:43:18,200 [ lnsaniac ] Hey, look, we're out to launch. 1498 01:43:18,280 --> 01:43:20,370 [ Slamfist ] I'm seasick already. 1499 01:43:20,450 --> 01:43:22,380 [ Punch-it ] Bye-bye, Alan. 1500 01:43:22,450 --> 01:43:25,280 [ Slamfist ] Bye-bye, Alan. Nice knowing you. 1501 01:43:56,150 --> 01:43:58,080 [ lnsaniac ] it's been a long time since I've played a cruise. 1502 01:43:58,150 --> 01:44:00,090 Ls anyone from out of town here? Where are you from, sir? 1503 01:44:00,150 --> 01:44:02,090 - [ Slamfist ] Gorgon. - Oh, yeah. What exit? 1504 01:44:02,160 --> 01:44:04,090 Hello? ls this thing on? 1505 01:44:04,160 --> 01:44:06,090 Ls this a boat or an oil painting? 1506 01:44:06,160 --> 01:44:10,100 [ Slamfist ] l hope we don't hit an iceberg. 1507 01:44:45,200 --> 01:44:48,630 War, war Oh, yeah, yeah, you 1508 01:44:48,700 --> 01:44:50,730 What is it good for 1509 01:44:50,800 --> 01:44:53,170 Absolutely nothin' Nothin' 1510 01:44:53,240 --> 01:44:55,570 Say it again War, war 1511 01:44:55,640 --> 01:44:58,300 Oh, yeah, yeah, you 1512 01:44:58,380 --> 01:45:00,370 What is it good for 1513 01:45:00,450 --> 01:45:03,880 Absolutely nothin' Nothin' 1514 01:45:03,950 --> 01:45:08,050 Oh, war, l despise 1515 01:45:08,120 --> 01:45:12,920 'Cause to me, it's destruction of innocent lives 1516 01:45:12,990 --> 01:45:14,860 l said war 1517 01:45:14,930 --> 01:45:17,190 Oh, yeah, yeah, you 1518 01:45:17,260 --> 01:45:19,660 What is it good for 1519 01:45:19,730 --> 01:45:21,960 Absolutely nothin' Nothin' 1520 01:45:22,040 --> 01:45:24,090 Say it again War, war 1521 01:45:24,170 --> 01:45:27,110 Oh, yeah, yeah, you 1522 01:45:27,170 --> 01:45:29,140 What is it good for 1523 01:45:29,210 --> 01:45:32,910 Absolutely nothin' Nothin', nothin', nothin' 1524 01:45:32,980 --> 01:45:35,110 if thangs don't change l think we all gon' die 1525 01:45:35,180 --> 01:45:37,280 Who's to say they wrong or right, you pushin' the button, not l 1526 01:45:37,350 --> 01:45:39,980 But we die Gatherin' up my soldiers 1527 01:45:40,050 --> 01:45:42,610 Mo Thug, mine are prepared for war Because it's over, over 1528 01:45:42,690 --> 01:45:46,390 Red light, red light ride or die it's gon' be casualties 1529 01:45:46,460 --> 01:45:49,120 So be ready to ride and say it again 1530 01:45:49,200 --> 01:45:51,290 There's gon' be casualties so be ready to ride 1531 01:45:51,370 --> 01:45:53,630 And l got your back Back, back 1532 01:45:53,700 --> 01:45:57,570 if it goes like that, that Ready to ride 1533 01:45:57,640 --> 01:46:00,630 if it goes like that and we all get papped papped, papped 1534 01:46:00,710 --> 01:46:02,680 Oh, war 1535 01:46:02,740 --> 01:46:05,410 It ain't nothin' but a heartbreaker 1536 01:46:05,480 --> 01:46:08,450 What is it good for 1537 01:46:08,520 --> 01:46:10,510 - Absolutely nothin', nothin' - Friend only to the undertaker 1538 01:46:10,580 --> 01:46:15,040 - War, war, war, war - Oh, war is an enemy to all mankind 1539 01:46:15,120 --> 01:46:17,060 What is it good for 1540 01:46:17,120 --> 01:46:20,750 - Absolutely nothin' - The thought of war blows my mind 1541 01:46:20,830 --> 01:46:25,490 - War, war, war, war - War has caused unrest within the younger generation 1542 01:46:25,570 --> 01:46:27,500 - What is it good for - induction, then destruction 1543 01:46:27,570 --> 01:46:30,760 - Absolutely nothin', nothin' War - Who wants to die 1544 01:46:30,840 --> 01:46:32,700 Are you ready Hey, are you ready for this 1545 01:46:32,770 --> 01:46:34,800 Are you hangin' on the edge of your seat 1546 01:46:34,880 --> 01:46:37,610 - Are you ready Hey, are you ready for this - l need a break, huh 1547 01:46:37,680 --> 01:46:39,800 - Are you hangin' on the edge of your seat - l need a break, huh 1548 01:46:39,880 --> 01:46:42,040 Are you ready Hey, are you ready for this 1549 01:46:42,120 --> 01:46:44,380 - Are you hangin' on the edge of your seat - l need a break, huh 1550 01:46:44,450 --> 01:46:46,680 Outta the doorway the bullets rip 1551 01:46:46,750 --> 01:46:48,690 Repeat to the sound of the beat, hey 1552 01:46:53,730 --> 01:46:58,360 Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh 1553 01:46:58,430 --> 01:47:01,870 Listen, baby, can't nobody separate us except us 1554 01:47:01,940 --> 01:47:03,990 And yet, there've been the few that come along and test us 1555 01:47:04,070 --> 01:47:06,730 Oh, they envy us They love to stress us 1556 01:47:06,810 --> 01:47:09,900 Even under pressure Bless us, it's just us 1557 01:47:09,980 --> 01:47:11,910 Everybody wanted to be us when they see us 1558 01:47:11,980 --> 01:47:14,070 We was the type to be all over each other 1559 01:47:14,150 --> 01:47:16,620 Whenever we lust no matter where we was 1560 01:47:16,680 --> 01:47:19,550 - Love is a battlefield - if only we could do this We've got a strong love 1561 01:47:19,620 --> 01:47:22,320 But we need trust 1562 01:47:22,390 --> 01:47:25,090 We need that trust Trust 1563 01:47:25,160 --> 01:47:27,650 You're begging me go 1564 01:47:27,730 --> 01:47:30,890 Then making me stay 1565 01:47:30,960 --> 01:47:35,630 Why do you hurt me so bad 1566 01:47:35,700 --> 01:47:38,170 It would help me to know 1567 01:47:38,240 --> 01:47:40,500 Do l stand in your way 1568 01:47:40,570 --> 01:47:46,270 Or am l the best thing you've had 1569 01:47:46,350 --> 01:47:48,710 Believe me Believe me 1570 01:47:48,780 --> 01:47:51,440 l can't tell you why 1571 01:47:51,520 --> 01:47:54,110 But I'm trapped by your love 1572 01:47:54,190 --> 01:47:58,280 And I'm chained to your side 1573 01:48:01,530 --> 01:48:05,090 We are young 1574 01:48:05,170 --> 01:48:10,230 Heartache to heartache We stand 1575 01:48:10,300 --> 01:48:12,970 No one can tell us we're wrong 1576 01:48:13,040 --> 01:48:15,410 You can't tell us nothin' Can't tell us nothin' 1577 01:48:15,480 --> 01:48:21,000 Searching our hearts for some love 1578 01:48:21,080 --> 01:48:23,240 Both of us knowing 1579 01:48:25,920 --> 01:48:28,980 Love is a battlefield 1580 01:48:32,630 --> 01:48:34,990 [ Whistling ] 1581 01:49:25,550 --> 01:49:28,710 Nuclear warhead? What are you talkin' about? 1582 01:49:28,780 --> 01:49:31,480 - [ Man ] Cut. - Was that too much? 1583 01:49:31,550 --> 01:49:34,490 - Why, Phil. - [ Laughter ] 1584 01:49:36,120 --> 01:49:40,860 - l never heard you say that before. - [ Laughing Continues ]