1 00:00:40,766 --> 00:00:44,395 Look! It's Turbo Man and Booster! 2 00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:46,801 Kill them both! 3 00:00:51,777 --> 00:00:54,007 Turbo discs, anyone? 4 00:01:01,219 --> 00:01:03,949 - Stop him! - Go, go, Demon Team! 5 00:01:04,055 --> 00:01:07,422 - No! Help, Turbo Man! Help! - I'm coming, Billy! 6 00:01:12,998 --> 00:01:15,592 Ta-ta, Turbo Man. 7 00:01:27,579 --> 00:01:30,377 Five seconds to ignition. 8 00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:54,129 It's turbo time! 9 00:01:59,678 --> 00:02:05,048 Got you. 10 00:02:05,150 --> 00:02:07,812 You haven't seen the last of me, Turbo Man! 11 00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:12,015 I'll have my revenge! 12 00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:21,061 Here you go, Mr. President. 13 00:02:21,166 --> 00:02:23,498 Mom, Dad, Booster. 14 00:02:25,637 --> 00:02:31,200 - Thank you, Turbo Man. - You can always count on me. 15 00:02:31,309 --> 00:02:34,403 Hey, Jamie, why don't you go upstairs and change, hon? It's almost time to leave. 16 00:02:34,513 --> 00:02:37,073 But Dad's not home yet. 17 00:02:37,182 --> 00:02:40,174 Now he's probably gonna miss me get my belt. 18 00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:42,583 He misses everything. 19 00:02:42,687 --> 00:02:46,282 Well, he's not gonna miss this. He's probably just working really hard. 20 00:03:11,550 --> 00:03:13,518 Hello, Mr.Jacobs. 21 00:03:13,618 --> 00:03:17,315 Oh, yes, we've been busy, but, you know, I like that. 22 00:03:17,422 --> 00:03:19,390 I'm gonna make it. I hear you. 23 00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:21,959 Yes. So what can I do for you? 24 00:03:23,061 --> 00:03:26,394 200 king-sized by next Friday? 25 00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:29,023 No problem whatsoever, but only for you, Mr.Jacobs... 26 00:03:29,134 --> 00:03:31,102 because you're our number one customer. 27 00:03:31,202 --> 00:03:34,763 Andrea, hi. 28 00:03:34,873 --> 00:03:38,639 Well, if you think the fabric is too dark, then we'll just recover it. 29 00:03:38,743 --> 00:03:40,802 And no extra charge. 30 00:03:40,912 --> 00:03:44,348 Well, what do you expect? You're my number one customer. 31 00:03:44,449 --> 00:03:47,612 Don't you forget. You're my number one customer. 32 00:03:47,719 --> 00:03:49,448 You're my number one customer. 33 00:03:49,554 --> 00:03:52,148 Liz. Hi, honey. How are you? 34 00:03:52,257 --> 00:03:53,849 Howard, where are you? 35 00:03:53,959 --> 00:03:56,427 I know- Jamie's karate class. 36 00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:58,928 Don't worry. I'll meet you there. I promise. 37 00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:02,830 And don't forget, you're my number one customer. 38 00:04:02,934 --> 00:04:06,097 Liz! I- Look, I didn't mean that- 39 00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:08,195 Liz? 40 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:11,941 I gotta get out of here. 41 00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:15,638 I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna make it. 42 00:04:15,747 --> 00:04:18,807 He's not gonna make it. 43 00:04:24,656 --> 00:04:27,181 What the- 44 00:04:37,669 --> 00:04:40,297 Johnny! 45 00:04:45,810 --> 00:04:49,439 - The kids look great, don't they? - Yeah, they do. 46 00:04:49,547 --> 00:04:52,448 Ted, I baked you some cookies- 47 00:04:52,550 --> 00:04:55,576 - You know, to thank you for fixing my screen door. - Yes, sir! 48 00:04:55,687 --> 00:04:59,316 Well, thanks, Judy. 49 00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:01,756 - One! - One! 50 00:05:01,860 --> 00:05:04,158 Ted, I was wondering if you'd mind... 51 00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:07,060 taking a look at my porch light. 52 00:05:07,165 --> 00:05:09,190 It just doesn't seem to be working... 53 00:05:09,300 --> 00:05:12,235 and you being such a handyman- 54 00:05:12,337 --> 00:05:15,329 Sure. I've got just the tool for the job. 55 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,428 I'm gonna make it. 56 00:05:55,547 --> 00:05:57,845 Damn it. 57 00:05:58,883 --> 00:06:00,783 - Hai! - Two! 58 00:06:00,885 --> 00:06:02,819 - Hai! - Three! 59 00:06:02,921 --> 00:06:05,412 - Four! - Hai! 60 00:06:05,523 --> 00:06:07,787 License and registration, please. 61 00:06:07,892 --> 00:06:09,792 Look, sir, I'm in kind of a hurry. 62 00:06:09,894 --> 00:06:13,625 I'm really late for my son's karate class. 63 00:06:13,732 --> 00:06:17,429 Oh, I do apologize if I've caused you some sort of delay. 64 00:06:17,535 --> 00:06:19,435 How thoughtless of me. 65 00:06:19,537 --> 00:06:22,597 Because the last thing that I want on my conscience right now... 66 00:06:22,707 --> 00:06:25,540 is for a private citizen to somehow be disappointed... 67 00:06:25,643 --> 00:06:27,838 in the performance of my duty. 68 00:06:27,946 --> 00:06:32,280 Look, I was not criticizing you, Officer. It's just that- 69 00:06:32,383 --> 00:06:34,908 Step out of the vehicle. 70 00:06:38,623 --> 00:06:40,750 That's my boy! 71 00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:48,461 There. Are we finished now? 72 00:06:48,566 --> 00:06:50,500 Recite the alphabet. 73 00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:56,033 "A," "B," "C"- 74 00:06:56,141 --> 00:06:57,768 Backwards. 75 00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:10,983 Way to go, Jamie! 76 00:07:42,787 --> 00:07:45,255 I didn't make it. 77 00:08:12,684 --> 00:08:14,584 Hey, neighbor! 78 00:08:14,686 --> 00:08:18,281 Ted? What the hell are you doing on my roof? 79 00:08:18,389 --> 00:08:22,792 What's Ted doing on your roof? Ta-da! 80 00:08:22,894 --> 00:08:24,862 I had some extra lights in the garage... 81 00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:28,865 and since you didn't put up any yourself, I thought, what the heck? 82 00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:32,300 Why not spread a little Christmas cheer around the neighborhood? 83 00:08:32,403 --> 00:08:34,928 Aw, gee, Ted, how thoughtful. 84 00:08:35,039 --> 00:08:38,600 Hey, sorry you missed the karate class today. 85 00:08:38,710 --> 00:08:41,770 But don't worry. I got it all on video for you. 86 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:44,212 What would I do without you? 87 00:08:49,854 --> 00:08:52,482 Did you tell Ted that he could put lights up on our house? 88 00:08:52,590 --> 00:08:54,785 Howard, do you have any idea what time it is? 89 00:08:54,893 --> 00:08:58,954 I know. You should have seen the traffic, and on top of that, I got a speeding ticket. 90 00:08:59,063 --> 00:09:02,624 Don't explain it to me. It wasn't my karate class you missed. 91 00:09:05,770 --> 00:09:10,230 We'll be back right after these messages. 92 00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:14,038 - Hi, buddy. - It's turbo time! 93 00:09:17,749 --> 00:09:20,809 Now it's your chance to save the universe with Turbo Man! 94 00:09:20,919 --> 00:09:23,114 Battle evil with America's favorite superhero... 95 00:09:23,221 --> 00:09:25,519 and his sidekick Booster. 96 00:09:25,623 --> 00:09:29,286 Jamie, about that karate class tonight... 97 00:09:29,394 --> 00:09:32,227 I was trying to-Jamie. 98 00:09:33,598 --> 00:09:35,862 Jamie, stop! 99 00:09:35,967 --> 00:09:38,868 Listen. It was not my fault. 100 00:09:38,970 --> 00:09:42,030 Jamie, don't walk away from your father. 101 00:09:48,313 --> 00:09:50,247 Jamie. 102 00:09:50,348 --> 00:09:52,475 Can I come in? 103 00:09:55,753 --> 00:09:59,120 So, champ... 104 00:09:59,223 --> 00:10:02,715 are those hands registered weapons yet? 105 00:10:07,265 --> 00:10:10,200 Oh, is this it? 106 00:10:10,301 --> 00:10:13,793 Wow! This is really cool. 107 00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:15,634 How do you do this? 108 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,765 Like this? 109 00:10:17,875 --> 00:10:21,072 No. I know. Like this. 110 00:10:21,179 --> 00:10:24,615 What do you think, Jamie? How about this? 111 00:10:28,653 --> 00:10:30,985 Ya! 112 00:10:45,069 --> 00:10:48,163 I've done something really stupid today, huh? 113 00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:51,435 - I don't care. - Oh, come on, Jamie. 114 00:10:51,542 --> 00:10:54,943 I hope this is not true, because I really wanted to be there. 115 00:10:55,046 --> 00:10:56,946 Look, believe me, I- 116 00:10:57,048 --> 00:11:00,506 But you always say that, and you never come anyways. 117 00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:02,916 Purple was important to me, Dad. 118 00:11:03,021 --> 00:11:06,752 That's one away from green and three away from black. 119 00:11:06,858 --> 00:11:10,191 - But I saw you get yellow. - But you missed blue. 120 00:11:14,499 --> 00:11:17,696 You're right. I really blew it. 121 00:11:19,604 --> 00:11:22,004 I'm really, really sorry. 122 00:11:22,106 --> 00:11:25,098 You think you can let me make it up to you? 123 00:11:25,209 --> 00:11:27,109 Like how? 124 00:11:27,211 --> 00:11:31,705 Well, like letting me do something special... just for you. 125 00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:33,750 Like, if there's something really important... 126 00:11:33,851 --> 00:11:36,376 you've been wanting for Christmas, hmm? 127 00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:40,116 Ah, don't worry. I got it covered. I wrote Santa. 128 00:11:40,224 --> 00:11:43,318 Ah. But Santa gets very busy this time of the year. 129 00:11:43,428 --> 00:11:47,330 Sometimes he even has to ask moms and dads to help out a little bit. 130 00:11:47,432 --> 00:11:49,400 Nah. It's not that important. 131 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:53,402 Tell me. What do you want? 132 00:11:55,339 --> 00:11:58,934 I want the Turbo Man action figure with the arms and legs that move... 133 00:11:59,043 --> 00:12:01,705 and the boomerang shooter and the rock-and-roar jet pack... 134 00:12:01,813 --> 00:12:05,909 and the realistic voice activator that says five different phrases... 135 00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:09,180 including, "It's turbo time!" 136 00:12:09,287 --> 00:12:11,915 Accessories sold separately. Batteries not included. 137 00:12:13,291 --> 00:12:15,657 Well, I'm glad you had to stop and think about it. 138 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:18,695 Johnny's gonna get one, and so is everybody else I know. 139 00:12:18,796 --> 00:12:21,526 Whoever doesn't is gonna be a real loser. 140 00:12:21,632 --> 00:12:24,032 Well, that definitely won't be you. 141 00:12:24,135 --> 00:12:27,832 Thanks, Dad. I love you. 142 00:12:27,939 --> 00:12:30,339 I love you too, Jamie. I love you! 143 00:12:30,441 --> 00:12:32,739 Whoa! 144 00:12:36,247 --> 00:12:38,511 Liz, you should have seen us in there. 145 00:12:38,616 --> 00:12:41,483 I mean, we were really bonding. We were drawing. 146 00:12:41,586 --> 00:12:44,453 We were laughing, having a great time, talking about that Turbo guy. 147 00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:48,992 Turbo Man. Which reminds me- you got the doll, right? 148 00:12:51,629 --> 00:12:53,529 The doll? 149 00:12:53,631 --> 00:12:56,532 Yeah. That Turbo Man doll. 150 00:12:56,634 --> 00:12:59,296 I asked you to pick one up two weeks ago. 151 00:12:59,403 --> 00:13:01,394 Oh. 152 00:13:03,007 --> 00:13:05,908 That doll. Of course. 153 00:13:06,010 --> 00:13:10,140 Howard, you didn't. Please tell me that you did not forget that doll. 154 00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:12,239 No, no. I-I- I got it. 155 00:13:12,350 --> 00:13:16,514 I- I got the Turbo Man doll, the one that has those things that shoot out in front... 156 00:13:16,621 --> 00:13:18,816 with that rock 'em, sock 'em jet pack... 157 00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:22,723 and with that realistic voice box that says, "It's turbo time." 158 00:13:22,827 --> 00:13:25,421 - I got it. - Oh, good. 159 00:13:27,331 --> 00:13:29,697 There you are. I mean, you thought for a minute... 160 00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:33,759 that I would not do something that you tell me? 161 00:13:33,871 --> 00:13:36,567 I got it right away. 162 00:13:38,142 --> 00:13:40,042 Good. Because at this point... 163 00:13:40,144 --> 00:13:43,272 they'd probably be impossible to find. 164 00:13:45,516 --> 00:13:47,347 KQRS, Minneapolis. 165 00:13:47,451 --> 00:13:50,215 We'll do the rocking while you fill the stocking. 166 00:13:52,857 --> 00:13:55,052 Wait. Whoa. Where you going? 167 00:13:55,159 --> 00:13:58,890 I just have to run to the office quickly. That's it. 168 00:13:58,996 --> 00:14:00,987 Howard, it's Christmas eve. 169 00:14:01,098 --> 00:14:03,225 You can't be going to the office. 170 00:14:06,003 --> 00:14:08,471 I have to pick up the D-O-L-L. 171 00:14:08,573 --> 00:14:11,201 I left it there by mistake. 172 00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:13,334 Oh. Okay. 173 00:14:13,444 --> 00:14:15,469 - All right. - Bye. 174 00:14:15,580 --> 00:14:20,210 Dad, you can't go to work today. What about the parade? 175 00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:24,220 - The parade? - The Holiday Wintertainment Parade. We go every year. 176 00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:28,816 - Oh. - Well, you didn't go last year or the year before. 177 00:14:28,926 --> 00:14:33,727 But Mom and I always go. Anyway, this year Turbo Man's gonna be there. 178 00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:37,062 - Yeah. Turbo Man. - Turbo Man. Yes! It's turbo time. 179 00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:40,399 Dad, you can't miss it. It's gonna be really cool. 180 00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:42,495 I won't miss it. 181 00:14:42,607 --> 00:14:45,735 I'll be there. I promise. 182 00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:51,976 Whoa! 183 00:14:54,452 --> 00:14:56,750 Whoa! 184 00:14:56,854 --> 00:15:01,086 - Sorry about that, Howie. - What's that- a reindeer? 185 00:15:01,192 --> 00:15:03,786 A little Christmas surprise forJohnny. 186 00:15:03,894 --> 00:15:06,488 You just think of everything, don't you, Ted? 187 00:15:06,597 --> 00:15:08,997 Howard, I'm of the mind-set you can never do too much... 188 00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:11,330 to make a child's Christmas magical. 189 00:15:11,435 --> 00:15:14,165 So what happens to Blitzen after Christmas? 190 00:15:14,272 --> 00:15:17,764 I've been watching a family of deer down by Lake Minnetonka. 191 00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:21,675 I thought I'd take him down there and set him free. 192 00:15:21,779 --> 00:15:24,839 If nature's kind, they'll take him in like he's one of their own. 193 00:15:24,949 --> 00:15:27,383 How touching. 194 00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:31,021 Hey, buddy. How are you? 195 00:15:31,122 --> 00:15:34,023 - Hey! - Whoa! That's odd. 196 00:15:34,125 --> 00:15:37,686 Reindeer are usually such gentle animals. 197 00:15:37,795 --> 00:15:42,459 There must be something about you he doesn't like- aftershave or something. 198 00:15:42,566 --> 00:15:46,195 Yeah. All right. Got to go. 199 00:15:46,304 --> 00:15:48,204 Where you off to so early? 200 00:15:48,306 --> 00:15:50,331 Picking up a Christmas present forJamie. 201 00:15:50,441 --> 00:15:54,343 Whoa! Nothing like waiting till the last minute, Howitzer. 202 00:15:54,445 --> 00:15:57,505 - So, what'd you get him? - One of those Turbo Mans. 203 00:15:57,615 --> 00:15:59,583 Oh. That's great. 204 00:15:59,684 --> 00:16:02,551 I got a Turbo Man forJohnny months ago. 205 00:16:02,653 --> 00:16:05,087 It's nestled safely under our tree. 206 00:16:05,189 --> 00:16:07,657 Good. 207 00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:11,250 Howard, by the way, they say it may get icy later. 208 00:16:11,362 --> 00:16:14,627 You might want to wrap some chains around those tires. 209 00:16:14,732 --> 00:16:16,666 Maybe I should wrap some chains around you. 210 00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:18,928 What? 211 00:16:19,036 --> 00:16:20,936 Come on. 212 00:16:36,187 --> 00:16:39,554 Hey, what are you doing? 213 00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:44,621 What time you opening up? 214 00:16:44,729 --> 00:16:48,392 Come on. It's freezing out here. There's a hundred people- 215 00:16:48,499 --> 00:16:51,593 Because of two minutes? Because of two minutes you're not- 216 00:16:54,739 --> 00:16:57,765 Hey. Give the man a break. He's a dad trying to get a toy. 217 00:16:57,875 --> 00:17:00,605 Go ahead. Have cuts, man. Last-minute shopping, huh? 218 00:17:00,711 --> 00:17:02,975 - Yeah. - Enough to drive a man insane, ain't it? 219 00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:05,480 Myron Larabee. 220 00:17:05,583 --> 00:17:07,517 Howard Langston. 221 00:17:07,618 --> 00:17:10,314 See, I have to shop late because it's the busiest time of year for me. 222 00:17:10,421 --> 00:17:13,083 All these important Christmas letters that people send to folks... 223 00:17:13,190 --> 00:17:15,181 they don't even talk to but once a year... 224 00:17:15,292 --> 00:17:18,125 not to mention relatives sending presents they're going to have to send back anyway. 225 00:17:18,229 --> 00:17:20,129 How many toiletry kits does a man need? 226 00:17:20,231 --> 00:17:24,065 And how about those little, stupid letters from kids to Santa at the North Pole? 227 00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:27,069 "Dear Santa, could you send me a bike and a Slinky?" 228 00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:29,071 No! Your father's been laid off! 229 00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:31,505 And as if I didn't have enough pressure in my life... 230 00:17:31,609 --> 00:17:34,203 my son sends me out for some goofy-butt toy... 231 00:17:34,311 --> 00:17:36,779 some fruity robot named Turtle Man. 232 00:17:36,881 --> 00:17:39,782 That's Turbo Man. My son wants one too. 233 00:17:39,884 --> 00:17:43,411 You know it's all a ploy, don't you? 234 00:17:43,521 --> 00:17:45,489 - A ploy? - Man, where have you been? 235 00:17:45,589 --> 00:17:49,855 Don't you watch TV? We are being set up by rich and powerful toy cartels. 236 00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:51,587 Oh, come on. 237 00:17:51,695 --> 00:17:54,391 You got these big fat cats sit there using working class just like me and you. 238 00:17:54,498 --> 00:17:57,092 They spend billions of dollars on TV advertisement... 239 00:17:57,201 --> 00:18:01,035 and then they sit there and use subliminal messages to suck your children's minds out! 240 00:18:01,138 --> 00:18:03,538 I know what I'm talking about because I went tojunior college for a semester... 241 00:18:03,641 --> 00:18:06,075 and I studied psychology, so I'm right in there. 242 00:18:06,177 --> 00:18:10,204 I know what's going on. Then they sit there and make a kid feel like garbage... 243 00:18:10,314 --> 00:18:13,010 because you, the father, who's working 2 4-7... 244 00:18:13,117 --> 00:18:15,347 delivering mail so you can make an alimony payment... 245 00:18:15,453 --> 00:18:20,152 to a woman that slept with everybody at the post office but me... 246 00:18:20,257 --> 00:18:24,216 and then when you get the toy, it breaks, and you can't fix it because it's cheap plastic! 247 00:18:24,328 --> 00:18:26,558 Know what I'd like to do? I'd like to walk up in that office... 248 00:18:26,664 --> 00:18:30,691 grab one of those guys and just choke him, choke him until an eye pops out! 249 00:18:30,801 --> 00:18:33,634 What's the matter with you? 250 00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:35,830 You shouldn't wear fur. 251 00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:41,643 Back off. I'm first. 252 00:18:41,745 --> 00:18:43,508 Turbo Man, you're mine! 253 00:18:46,617 --> 00:18:49,381 - Move it, move it, move it! - Whoa! 254 00:18:55,993 --> 00:18:57,824 Get out my way! Get out my way! 255 00:18:59,196 --> 00:19:01,391 Booster? Who wants Booster? 256 00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:07,866 The Turbo Man dolls, they're all gone! 257 00:19:07,972 --> 00:19:10,372 - There's got to be another one here somewhere. - There are none here! 258 00:19:10,474 --> 00:19:13,068 - Excuse me. I'm trying to find a Turbo Man doll. - Yes? 259 00:19:13,177 --> 00:19:15,737 - Me too. - Do you have any more in the back? 260 00:19:19,483 --> 00:19:22,213 - What? - What's he laughing about? 261 00:19:23,721 --> 00:19:26,622 - What did I say? - These guys are looking for Turbo Man. 262 00:19:26,724 --> 00:19:29,625 A Turbo Man doll, yes. 263 00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:33,528 They're looking for Turbo Man. 264 00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:38,898 Hey, everybody. These two are looking for a Turbo Man. 265 00:19:39,003 --> 00:19:40,971 Shut up, man. 266 00:19:41,071 --> 00:19:43,596 Now what's so funny? 267 00:19:43,707 --> 00:19:45,607 Where have you guys been? 268 00:19:45,709 --> 00:19:49,975 Turbo Man's only the hottest selling Christmas toy ever. Duh! 269 00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:54,710 But you know what? We got plenty of Turbo Man's faithful simpleton partner Booster. 270 00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:02,057 Where's your Christmas spirit? 271 00:20:05,763 --> 00:20:07,731 That's better. 272 00:20:09,099 --> 00:20:11,932 Now, there must be a Turbo Man around here somewhere. 273 00:20:12,036 --> 00:20:15,267 Uh, duh- The last one just left. 274 00:20:15,372 --> 00:20:19,103 - Um, some lady had it on layaway. - A lady? What lady? 275 00:20:19,209 --> 00:20:22,667 - Uh, uh, sh-short, uh, with a fur coat. - Fur coat. 276 00:20:22,780 --> 00:20:25,248 Sorry, buddy. 277 00:20:32,289 --> 00:20:34,052 - Give me this. - Hey! 278 00:20:34,158 --> 00:20:36,456 This is war. 279 00:20:39,563 --> 00:20:41,428 Whoo! 280 00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:43,762 Yeah! 281 00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:46,859 Cool. 282 00:20:46,971 --> 00:20:51,340 - Oh, poor baby. - Turbo Man. 283 00:21:04,235 --> 00:21:06,726 Ah! 284 00:21:06,837 --> 00:21:09,897 - Excuse me, lady. - What! What do you want? 285 00:21:10,007 --> 00:21:14,341 I'm not a robber. I followed you all the way from the store. 286 00:21:14,445 --> 00:21:16,572 - Oh, really? - Yes, really. 287 00:21:16,681 --> 00:21:20,640 - There's something I wanted to ask you. - Would you like my phone number? 288 00:21:20,751 --> 00:21:24,983 Oh, no. I mean, no. It's, uh, I would like your bag. 289 00:21:25,089 --> 00:21:28,354 - My bag? - Yes. I'll offer you twice what you paid for it. 290 00:21:28,459 --> 00:21:30,825 - Twice? - Okay, three times. 291 00:21:30,928 --> 00:21:34,830 - Three times. - Oh, I get it. 292 00:21:34,932 --> 00:21:38,595 Oh, sure. What the heck. For that kind of profit, knock yourself out. 293 00:21:38,703 --> 00:21:41,638 - Oh, thank you. - And just in case. 294 00:21:43,207 --> 00:21:45,107 Here's my phone number. 295 00:21:45,209 --> 00:21:47,939 Ah. 296 00:21:56,420 --> 00:21:58,513 Booster? 297 00:21:58,623 --> 00:22:00,614 I don't want Booster. 298 00:22:05,329 --> 00:22:08,025 Turbo Man. Hey, lady! 299 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,795 Hey, hold it. Wait! 300 00:22:13,671 --> 00:22:17,971 Wait, lady! I need that Turbo Man! 301 00:22:18,075 --> 00:22:19,975 Wait! 302 00:22:20,077 --> 00:22:22,136 Come on! 303 00:23:58,709 --> 00:24:02,509 - I'm Turbo Man. - No, I am. You're always Turbo Man. 304 00:24:02,613 --> 00:24:06,276 Hey, hey, hey. Cut it out. 305 00:24:06,384 --> 00:24:08,852 - Hi, Liz. - Oh, hi, Ted. 306 00:24:08,953 --> 00:24:10,750 Look at you. 307 00:24:10,855 --> 00:24:13,415 It's Christmas eve, and you're slaving over a hot stove. 308 00:24:13,524 --> 00:24:16,516 - Is this the mom of the year or what? - It's no big deal. 309 00:24:16,627 --> 00:24:18,618 And modest too. 310 00:24:21,799 --> 00:24:25,291 Liz, looks like you could use a little you time. 311 00:24:25,403 --> 00:24:27,166 Why don't you go upstairs, take a shower? 312 00:24:27,271 --> 00:24:30,138 I'll keep an eye on the boys, finish up with the cookies. 313 00:24:30,241 --> 00:24:33,074 - Oh, no- - Da-da-da. Go on. 314 00:24:33,177 --> 00:24:35,202 - You deserve it. - Uh- 315 00:24:35,312 --> 00:24:39,043 Oh. Well, o-okay, but listen for the oven timer- 316 00:24:39,150 --> 00:24:42,176 I know. Sugar cookies. 317 00:24:42,286 --> 00:24:45,517 - Bake 1 2-15 minutes till golden brown. - Yeah. 318 00:24:45,623 --> 00:24:48,183 Ted's got everything under control. 319 00:24:51,662 --> 00:24:53,562 Oh! 320 00:24:53,664 --> 00:24:55,859 Pipe down in there! 321 00:24:58,636 --> 00:25:00,604 Merry Christmas. Langston residence. 322 00:25:00,704 --> 00:25:02,535 Hi, I-Ted? 323 00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:04,904 Howard! Hey, buddy. How's it going out there? 324 00:25:05,009 --> 00:25:08,843 - Everything okay? - Yeah, fine. Ted, I need to speak to Liz. 325 00:25:08,946 --> 00:25:10,208 Could you get- 326 00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:15,452 Howard, excuse me, but your wife's cookies are out of this world. 327 00:25:15,564 --> 00:25:18,965 What-Who told you you could eat my cookies? 328 00:25:19,067 --> 00:25:22,036 I'm just helping Liz out a little in the kitchen. She's baking up a storm here. 329 00:25:22,137 --> 00:25:25,197 Ted, I need to speak to my wife... 330 00:25:25,307 --> 00:25:27,502 so could you get her on the phone, please? 331 00:25:27,609 --> 00:25:29,702 I think she's in the shower. Do you want me to go check? 332 00:25:29,811 --> 00:25:31,506 No! 333 00:25:31,613 --> 00:25:33,843 I mean, no, that's fine. 334 00:25:33,949 --> 00:25:36,543 On your way out, just tell her I will be a few minutes late... 335 00:25:36,651 --> 00:25:38,551 but she shouldn't worry. 336 00:25:38,653 --> 00:25:40,917 Oh, she won't worry. I mean, I'm here, and- 337 00:25:41,022 --> 00:25:45,482 Mmm! Oh, these cookies! I got to get the recipe from Liz. 338 00:25:45,594 --> 00:25:48,586 Put that cookie down! Now! 339 00:25:48,697 --> 00:25:51,029 Howard, is there something bothering you? 340 00:25:51,132 --> 00:25:55,364 Because this time of year, there's a very high incidence of stress-related breakdown. 341 00:25:55,470 --> 00:25:57,802 Oops! There's the next batch. Gotta go, Howard. 342 00:25:57,906 --> 00:26:01,069 - I'll give Liz your message though. Bye-bye. - Yeah, but- 343 00:26:07,682 --> 00:26:09,877 Hey, hey, hey, look who it is! 344 00:26:09,985 --> 00:26:11,885 - Still on the hunt, huh? - Yeah. 345 00:26:11,987 --> 00:26:14,148 Hey, sorry about whacking you at the toy store. 346 00:26:14,256 --> 00:26:16,747 I got caught up in the friendly spirit of competition. 347 00:26:16,858 --> 00:26:18,758 That's all right. Don't worry. 348 00:26:18,860 --> 00:26:20,794 But I was thinkin', you'd have done the same thing. 349 00:26:20,895 --> 00:26:24,456 That's when I realized-you and I, we're the same kind of person. 350 00:26:24,566 --> 00:26:26,466 I sort of doubt that. 351 00:26:26,568 --> 00:26:28,468 I was thinking about that brouhaha at the toy store- 352 00:26:28,570 --> 00:26:30,470 I was thinking we could join up as a team... 353 00:26:30,572 --> 00:26:32,472 like Starsky and Hutch, likeJonny Quest and Hadji, man... 354 00:26:32,574 --> 00:26:34,474 like Bonnie and Clyde, like Ike and Tina- 355 00:26:34,576 --> 00:26:36,737 Not Ike and Tina, because she left, but we could do it! 356 00:26:36,845 --> 00:26:40,440 Search and destroy. Divide and conquer. Me and you. What do you say? 357 00:26:40,548 --> 00:26:43,540 Thanks, Myron, but, no, thank you. 358 00:26:43,652 --> 00:26:46,143 Come on, man. Let's do it. Let's be a team! 359 00:26:46,254 --> 00:26:49,314 Gee, Myron, I think you're a good guy and all... 360 00:26:49,424 --> 00:26:52,757 but this I would like to do by myself. 361 00:26:52,861 --> 00:26:55,989 You understand, right? 362 00:26:58,033 --> 00:26:59,967 Oh, yeah, I understand you, man. 363 00:27:00,068 --> 00:27:02,229 I understand plenty. I know what's going on here. 364 00:27:02,337 --> 00:27:05,795 Mr. Wear Your Little Fancy Cashmere Coat And Your Nice Little Suede Shoes. 365 00:27:05,907 --> 00:27:09,138 I was good enough to talk to in line, but I'm not good enough to be on your team! 366 00:27:09,244 --> 00:27:12,338 See, that's racism! That's whatJesseJackson was talking about. 367 00:27:12,447 --> 00:27:15,280 Good news! They got a late delivery ofTurbo Man at Toy Works! Let's go! 368 00:27:15,383 --> 00:27:18,318 - Turbo Man! - Turbo Man! 369 00:27:18,420 --> 00:27:20,752 Whoa! Whoo, whoo. 370 00:27:24,092 --> 00:27:27,357 Piece of junk! 371 00:27:32,133 --> 00:27:34,101 Oh. 372 00:27:38,106 --> 00:27:40,472 Oh! 373 00:27:51,886 --> 00:27:54,150 Officer. 374 00:27:54,255 --> 00:27:57,622 You broke my little mirror. 375 00:27:58,727 --> 00:28:01,127 License and registration, please. 376 00:28:01,229 --> 00:28:05,791 Whoo! Is there a problem, Officer? 377 00:28:30,959 --> 00:28:32,859 Listen up, people. 378 00:28:32,961 --> 00:28:37,421 To answer your first question- yes, the rumors are true. 379 00:28:37,532 --> 00:28:41,400 We have received a small quantity of the action figure known as Turbo Man. 380 00:28:41,503 --> 00:28:43,494 Yes! 381 00:28:43,605 --> 00:28:46,096 I am not going to ask you people to be quiet again! Do you hear me? 382 00:28:46,207 --> 00:28:48,107 Here's how things are gonna work. 383 00:28:48,209 --> 00:28:53,010 You will form an orderly line so that an employee can hand you a numbered ball. 384 00:28:53,114 --> 00:28:58,677 These balls will then be drawn in a standard lottery fashion to see who gets a doll. 385 00:28:58,787 --> 00:29:01,449 If you're not one of the lucky few... 386 00:29:01,556 --> 00:29:05,856 we have plenty ofTurbo Man's faithful pet tiger Booster in stock. 387 00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:08,224 We don't want it! We don't want it! 388 00:29:08,329 --> 00:29:11,958 And by the way, in accordance with the laws of supply and demand... 389 00:29:12,066 --> 00:29:14,864 the new list price on each figure just doubled. 390 00:29:14,969 --> 00:29:19,770 What? That's against the law, buddy! 391 00:29:19,874 --> 00:29:22,468 Hey, give me a ball! 392 00:29:43,765 --> 00:29:45,995 Whoa! 393 00:29:50,605 --> 00:29:52,596 Give me that ball! 394 00:29:59,614 --> 00:30:01,844 I got it! I got it! 395 00:30:01,950 --> 00:30:05,750 - He maced me! - I got it! I got it! 396 00:30:05,854 --> 00:30:10,188 I got it! I got it! Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo. 397 00:30:10,291 --> 00:30:12,987 He got two! He got two! 398 00:30:13,094 --> 00:30:15,426 - Get the mailman! - What? No! 399 00:30:15,530 --> 00:30:18,328 - Get him! - He's lying. He's lying. 400 00:30:26,374 --> 00:30:29,935 That's my ball! Rodney King. Rodney King. 401 00:30:40,955 --> 00:30:43,389 Ah. 402 00:30:55,737 --> 00:30:57,898 Hey! 403 00:30:59,908 --> 00:31:02,035 Hey! 404 00:31:09,817 --> 00:31:11,751 This is my ball! Yeah. Stay. 405 00:32:08,409 --> 00:32:10,809 Hi, little girl. 406 00:32:10,912 --> 00:32:14,746 Look what I've got for you- a shiny red ball. 407 00:32:14,849 --> 00:32:17,044 Do you want to trade? 408 00:32:18,820 --> 00:32:22,221 No, no! Just give me the ball. I got it. Ow! 409 00:32:22,323 --> 00:32:25,121 - Sicko! Pervert! - Ow! 410 00:32:25,226 --> 00:32:29,492 - Get your hands off my kid! - I need the ball. I need that toy! 411 00:32:29,597 --> 00:32:32,828 Stop! Stop hitting me! Stop hitting me! 412 00:32:32,934 --> 00:32:35,562 No! 413 00:32:35,670 --> 00:32:37,900 Get out of here! You wacko! 414 00:32:38,006 --> 00:32:40,873 I need that ball. 415 00:32:40,975 --> 00:32:43,034 - Pervert! - I'm not a pervert. 416 00:32:43,144 --> 00:32:45,374 I just was looking for a Turbo Man doll. 417 00:32:47,982 --> 00:32:51,315 Hey. Psst. Buddy, come here. Come here. 418 00:32:52,553 --> 00:32:54,453 You want a Turbo Man for Christmas? 419 00:32:54,555 --> 00:32:57,285 Forget it. I'm not gonna sit on your lap. 420 00:32:57,392 --> 00:33:01,158 Hey, chief, that's not my bag. Get it? 421 00:33:01,262 --> 00:33:03,992 But, you know, little boy, with your attitude... 422 00:33:04,098 --> 00:33:06,464 I don't think I want to give you access to this. 423 00:33:06,567 --> 00:33:08,467 Tony, show him. 424 00:33:08,569 --> 00:33:11,766 That was taken this morning. 425 00:33:16,778 --> 00:33:19,941 How do I know this is not some kind of a scam? 426 00:33:20,048 --> 00:33:23,506 Forget it, Tony. This guy doesn't want our help. 427 00:33:23,618 --> 00:33:25,848 - Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute, guys. - Merry Christmas. 428 00:33:25,953 --> 00:33:30,014 We're all businessmen. I'm sure we can work out some sort of an agreement. 429 00:33:30,124 --> 00:33:33,821 - You got the cash, we got the doll. - How much? 430 00:33:33,928 --> 00:33:36,453 Ho, ho, ho, ho! 431 00:33:36,564 --> 00:33:39,362 Merry Christmas. Ho, ho, ho! 432 00:33:39,467 --> 00:33:42,630 A merry Christmas to you, Officer. What are you, crazy? 433 00:33:42,737 --> 00:33:44,830 Santa never delivers a gift out in broad daylight. 434 00:33:44,939 --> 00:33:49,899 Excuse me. I may be wrong, but you are not the real Santa Claus. 435 00:33:50,011 --> 00:33:52,036 Really? 436 00:33:52,146 --> 00:33:54,740 And you're not the kind of guy who's got enough foresight... 437 00:33:54,849 --> 00:33:57,818 to get his kid a Turbo Man before Christmas eve, are you? 438 00:33:57,919 --> 00:34:01,719 Hey, show a little respect for the suit, huh? 439 00:34:01,823 --> 00:34:05,554 - Yeah. - Now, you want that doll or not? 440 00:34:12,763 --> 00:34:15,493 We've been driving around now for 20 minutes. How much longer? 441 00:34:15,599 --> 00:34:20,662 - Name isn't Buddy. It's Santa. - Fine, Santa. 442 00:34:20,771 --> 00:34:22,671 - Thank you. - But it's getting late. 443 00:34:22,773 --> 00:34:24,673 I've got a parade to go to... 444 00:34:24,775 --> 00:34:28,176 and I've yet to see a sign of that supposed Turbo Man doll. 445 00:34:28,278 --> 00:34:33,011 Meanwhile, all this time, my "in touch with his feminine side" neighbor- 446 00:34:33,116 --> 00:34:35,380 he's busy attacking my wife's cookies, all right! 447 00:34:35,485 --> 00:34:38,648 Hey, spare me the details of your twisted life, pal. Okay? 448 00:34:38,755 --> 00:34:42,191 Hey, yo, is this genuine leather? 449 00:34:42,292 --> 00:34:44,852 - Don't touch anything back there. - Hey! 450 00:34:44,961 --> 00:34:46,861 That's Santa's helper! 451 00:34:48,532 --> 00:34:50,898 You wanna see the doll, don't you? 452 00:34:53,870 --> 00:34:55,565 Up here. 453 00:34:55,672 --> 00:34:58,368 Oh, I love this time of year. 454 00:34:58,475 --> 00:35:02,377 Christmas carols, snowflakes, Santa Clauses. 455 00:35:02,479 --> 00:35:05,744 - Now what? - What are you, Dan Rather? What is this, 60 Minutes? 456 00:35:05,849 --> 00:35:08,875 What are you, the question king, huh? Chill. 457 00:35:20,163 --> 00:35:22,961 All right. Keep your hands where I can see 'em. 458 00:35:32,876 --> 00:35:35,208 Password. 459 00:35:35,312 --> 00:35:37,906 Jingle bells, Batman smells. 460 00:36:01,872 --> 00:36:03,840 I know what you're thinking. 461 00:36:03,940 --> 00:36:07,774 Oh, no. You have no idea. 462 00:36:07,878 --> 00:36:10,438 Tony, get the man his Turbo Man. 463 00:36:10,547 --> 00:36:12,139 Got it. 464 00:36:12,249 --> 00:36:14,342 I gotta tell you, Santa... 465 00:36:14,451 --> 00:36:18,615 there is something here that doesn't seem quite, uh, kosher? 466 00:36:19,723 --> 00:36:21,588 - Kosher? - Yeah. 467 00:36:21,691 --> 00:36:26,151 This coming from a guy who assaulted a toddler for a SuperBall? 468 00:36:26,263 --> 00:36:28,197 Listen, bub, we provide a service here. 469 00:36:28,298 --> 00:36:31,597 We're not doing this for us. We're doing this for the kids. 470 00:36:31,701 --> 00:36:37,003 - For the kids? - For every kid who ever sat down on Santa's lap... 471 00:36:37,107 --> 00:36:41,441 for every little girl who left cookies and milk for Santa on Christmas night... 472 00:36:41,544 --> 00:36:44,445 for every little boy who opens a present Christmas morning... 473 00:36:44,547 --> 00:36:47,209 and finds clothes instead of toys. 474 00:36:47,317 --> 00:36:51,151 - Aw. - Have you ever heard that song... 475 00:36:51,254 --> 00:36:53,620 "The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot"? 476 00:36:53,723 --> 00:36:56,351 No. I can't say that I have. 477 00:37:18,181 --> 00:37:23,346 That's beautiful- 478 00:37:27,090 --> 00:37:29,388 Please- 479 00:38:00,790 --> 00:38:03,281 Very moving. 480 00:38:03,393 --> 00:38:05,520 There it is. 481 00:38:05,628 --> 00:38:07,687 Ah! That will be 300. 482 00:38:07,797 --> 00:38:09,628 Dollars? 483 00:38:09,733 --> 00:38:12,429 No. Chocolate kisses. Yes, dollars! 484 00:38:12,535 --> 00:38:16,266 I can't believe this. Whatever happened to your lofty ideals, huh? 485 00:38:16,373 --> 00:38:18,398 I thought you were doing all this for the kids. 486 00:38:18,508 --> 00:38:22,410 Sure, but I don't see why we can't pick up a little loose change in the process. 487 00:38:22,512 --> 00:38:25,037 Take it. Count it. 488 00:38:25,148 --> 00:38:26,706 Put it in the safe this time. 489 00:38:26,816 --> 00:38:29,649 Don't open that up! No, no, no. 490 00:38:29,753 --> 00:38:33,314 Ces el tiempo del hombre de turbo! 491 00:38:33,423 --> 00:38:37,154 Oh, well, that's the multilingual version. 492 00:38:37,260 --> 00:38:40,752 It's fun and educational. 493 00:38:40,864 --> 00:38:42,388 I wouldn't- 494 00:38:42,499 --> 00:38:46,162 Uh, well, of course, there's some assembly required. 495 00:38:46,269 --> 00:38:49,796 - Let me get that for you. - Just put it back in the box and just go- 496 00:38:49,906 --> 00:38:53,103 - Here. Give me the money back. - Ah-ah-ah. Whoa! 497 00:38:53,209 --> 00:38:55,109 All sales are final. 498 00:38:55,278 --> 00:38:57,746 You know what you guys are? 499 00:38:57,847 --> 00:39:00,941 Nothing but a bunch of sleazy con men in red suits. 500 00:39:01,051 --> 00:39:03,611 What did you call us? 501 00:39:03,720 --> 00:39:06,484 You heard me right- con men, thieves... 502 00:39:06,589 --> 00:39:09,080 degenerates, lowlifes, thugs, criminals! 503 00:39:11,628 --> 00:39:15,086 In the North Pole, them are fighting words, partner. Put 'em up. 504 00:39:15,198 --> 00:39:18,929 Relax, buddy. I'm not about to hit a Santa Claus. 505 00:39:19,035 --> 00:39:21,299 Come on. Come on. What are you, chicken? Chick, chick, chick. 506 00:39:21,404 --> 00:39:26,967 Chick, chick, chick, chick, chick, chick, chick, chick, chick! 507 00:39:33,283 --> 00:39:34,716 Get him. 508 00:39:48,765 --> 00:39:51,131 Shut up. 509 00:40:01,044 --> 00:40:03,342 Yeah! 510 00:40:09,452 --> 00:40:12,387 I'm gonna deck your halls, bub. 511 00:40:20,430 --> 00:40:22,990 Oh, man. 512 00:40:45,321 --> 00:40:48,415 Oh! 513 00:40:50,226 --> 00:40:53,627 No! 514 00:40:53,730 --> 00:40:56,597 Little buddy. 515 00:40:56,699 --> 00:41:00,396 You naughty boy! 516 00:41:00,503 --> 00:41:03,597 - Get him! Get him! - Who's gonna be next? 517 00:41:06,709 --> 00:41:10,201 Dog pile! Yeah! 518 00:41:16,686 --> 00:41:20,122 It's the Grinch! Scatter! 519 00:41:34,070 --> 00:41:37,403 Hey! Hey, who are you? Huh? 520 00:41:38,908 --> 00:41:41,342 Hey. 521 00:41:41,444 --> 00:41:43,412 Hey, buddy. 522 00:41:43,513 --> 00:41:47,176 This must be the sloppiest bust I've ever seen in my entire career on the force. 523 00:41:47,283 --> 00:41:49,774 Detective Howard Lang- undercover. 524 00:41:49,886 --> 00:41:53,413 I have been working on this case for the last three years... 525 00:41:53,523 --> 00:41:55,753 and you guys come barging in here... 526 00:41:55,858 --> 00:41:58,850 like a bunch of terrorists at a tea party. 527 00:41:58,962 --> 00:42:01,021 Wait till the commissioner finds out about this. 528 00:42:01,130 --> 00:42:03,257 He is going to hit the roof. 529 00:42:03,366 --> 00:42:07,359 - Now get your act together and arrest someone. Go! - Yes, sir. 530 00:42:11,574 --> 00:42:14,065 I'm not going back to the joint, do you hear? 531 00:42:14,177 --> 00:42:16,873 All right, put them in a van and lock 'em up. 532 00:42:26,412 --> 00:42:29,313 Come on! 533 00:42:29,415 --> 00:42:31,815 Come on! Not now! 534 00:43:02,115 --> 00:43:05,676 You're so considerate, bringing all this holiday cheer to the neighborhood. 535 00:43:05,785 --> 00:43:07,616 Christmas comes but once a year. 536 00:43:07,720 --> 00:43:10,416 You're an amazing man, Ted. 537 00:43:10,523 --> 00:43:12,889 I wish every husband were more like you. 538 00:43:12,992 --> 00:43:16,325 Thanks. We should get together and swap recipes. 539 00:43:16,429 --> 00:43:20,490 - What's the reindeer's name? - I named him Ted after my dad. 540 00:43:22,235 --> 00:43:26,137 Your dad is so cool. I wish my dad did stuff like this. 541 00:43:26,239 --> 00:43:29,333 Oh, he never used to, not till he and my mom split up. 542 00:43:29,442 --> 00:43:34,209 - Really? - Hey! Maybe your parents should get a divorce. 543 00:43:34,313 --> 00:43:36,508 Did wonders for my dad. 544 00:43:41,621 --> 00:43:43,919 Jamie! 545 00:43:47,026 --> 00:43:48,994 Hot chocolate? 546 00:43:53,666 --> 00:43:57,363 - Hello? - Jamie, how are you doing, old buddy? 547 00:43:57,470 --> 00:43:59,700 Hi, Dad! I knew you'd call! 548 00:43:59,805 --> 00:44:02,171 Hey, listen, let me talk to your mother. 549 00:44:02,275 --> 00:44:04,175 - You can't. - Why not? 550 00:44:04,277 --> 00:44:06,370 She's next door petting Ted. 551 00:44:06,479 --> 00:44:09,642 - She's what? - Listen, Dad, are you on your way? 552 00:44:09,749 --> 00:44:11,842 The parade's gonna start soon. 553 00:44:11,951 --> 00:44:13,782 Jamie, get your mother, please. 554 00:44:13,886 --> 00:44:15,410 - Well, are you? - Am I what? 555 00:44:15,521 --> 00:44:20,049 - Coming home soon. - Yes, immediately! Now please get your mother! 556 00:44:20,159 --> 00:44:22,059 'Cause, Dad, before you left... 557 00:44:22,161 --> 00:44:24,686 you promised that you were gonna be at the parade. 558 00:44:24,797 --> 00:44:28,597 You haven't been here all day, so you can't miss it. 559 00:44:28,701 --> 00:44:30,931 Jamie, please. 560 00:44:31,037 --> 00:44:35,474 'Cause, Dad, when someone makes a promise, they definitely should keep it. 561 00:44:35,575 --> 00:44:37,634 You know, it's like what Turbo Man says: 562 00:44:37,743 --> 00:44:41,770 "Always keep your promises if you want to keep your friends." 563 00:44:41,881 --> 00:44:43,849 Enough! Enough of this Turbo Man, okay? 564 00:44:43,950 --> 00:44:46,043 I had it up to here with this Turbo Man! 565 00:44:46,152 --> 00:44:49,952 If there's anyone I don't want to have advice from right now, it's Turbo Man! 566 00:44:50,056 --> 00:44:53,116 Now get your mother! 567 00:44:56,362 --> 00:45:00,890 I'm sorry, Jamie. Look, I didn't mean- 568 00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:05,494 What would you know about keeping your promises? You never keep your promises! 569 00:45:05,605 --> 00:45:08,574 You never do anything you say you're gonna do! 570 00:45:08,674 --> 00:45:10,642 Ever! 571 00:45:11,777 --> 00:45:13,836 Damn you, Howard. 572 00:45:35,246 --> 00:45:39,205 Here you go, my man. This will warm you up. 573 00:45:39,316 --> 00:45:42,114 - Thanks. - Cheers. 574 00:45:42,219 --> 00:45:44,847 You? 575 00:45:44,955 --> 00:45:48,516 Peace! 'Tis the season to be jolly. 576 00:45:48,626 --> 00:45:51,322 Yeah. 577 00:45:52,696 --> 00:45:54,857 Any luck in finding that doll? 578 00:45:54,965 --> 00:45:58,128 - No. - Me neither. 579 00:45:58,235 --> 00:46:00,795 Maybe this will help. 580 00:46:03,674 --> 00:46:05,642 Oh, yeah. 581 00:46:09,346 --> 00:46:11,780 So I couldn't find the kid a doll. 582 00:46:11,882 --> 00:46:15,682 - Does that make me a bad father? No. - Nah. 583 00:46:15,786 --> 00:46:17,879 But yelling at him for no good reason? 584 00:46:17,988 --> 00:46:19,956 Now, that makes me a bad father. 585 00:46:20,057 --> 00:46:22,787 Look, we get one chance a year to prove we're not screwups. 586 00:46:22,893 --> 00:46:25,828 And what do we do? We screw it up. 587 00:46:25,930 --> 00:46:28,194 I remember a few years ago... 588 00:46:28,299 --> 00:46:31,598 I wanted to do something really special forJamie. 589 00:46:31,702 --> 00:46:35,900 So, I built him his own clubhouse. 590 00:46:36,006 --> 00:46:38,304 It came out great. 591 00:46:38,409 --> 00:46:41,742 Oh, it-Well, I mean, the door was a little crooked, right? 592 00:46:41,845 --> 00:46:43,836 And the roof didn't sit quite straight... 593 00:46:43,948 --> 00:46:46,143 but you should have seen his face light up. 594 00:46:46,250 --> 00:46:49,947 Oh, when he saw that, he was so excited. 595 00:46:50,054 --> 00:46:52,181 We played in that clubhouse the entire day. 596 00:46:52,289 --> 00:46:54,416 - He even made us have Christmas dinner in it. - No! 597 00:46:54,525 --> 00:46:56,652 Oh, yeah. 598 00:46:58,095 --> 00:47:00,222 I was the hero then. 599 00:47:01,198 --> 00:47:03,098 Look at me now. 600 00:47:03,200 --> 00:47:05,566 You're right. That kid's gonna need some serious therapy, man. 601 00:47:05,669 --> 00:47:08,399 - Oh, don't say that. - Mm-hmm. 602 00:47:08,505 --> 00:47:10,405 I know what I'm talking about. 603 00:47:10,507 --> 00:47:12,771 See, I never forgave my father. 604 00:47:12,876 --> 00:47:15,174 I remember one Christmas, I wanted this one special toy- 605 00:47:15,279 --> 00:47:17,179 a Johnny Seven O.M.A. gun. 606 00:47:17,281 --> 00:47:19,340 - You remember those, don't you? - No. 607 00:47:19,450 --> 00:47:21,350 I still remember the commercial like it was yesterday. 608 00:47:21,452 --> 00:47:23,511 Two kids playing out in the backyard. 609 00:47:23,620 --> 00:47:25,815 "Johnny to Peter.Johnny to Peter. Enemy sighted." 610 00:47:25,923 --> 00:47:28,016 "Roger there! Open fire!" 611 00:47:28,125 --> 00:47:31,822 And then Johnny would whip out his Johnny Seven O.M.A. one-man-army gun. 612 00:47:31,929 --> 00:47:34,090 Seven guns in one- count 'em! 613 00:47:34,198 --> 00:47:36,928 One- it's a grenade launcher. 614 00:47:37,034 --> 00:47:39,594 Two- it's an anti-armor gun. 615 00:47:39,703 --> 00:47:43,070 Three- it's an antitank gun. I see ya, buddy. 616 00:47:43,173 --> 00:47:45,266 Four- it's a rifle. 617 00:47:45,376 --> 00:47:46,934 Five- it was a tommy gun. 618 00:47:47,044 --> 00:47:49,979 Six- it's an anti-aircraft gun. 619 00:47:50,080 --> 00:47:53,481 Just in case somebody survived, seven was a cap-firing pistol. 620 00:47:57,221 --> 00:47:59,189 Thing looked like a blast. 621 00:48:01,492 --> 00:48:04,256 But- Of course, for my old man... 622 00:48:04,361 --> 00:48:07,922 Christmas was just another opportunity to let me down. 623 00:48:09,033 --> 00:48:11,001 I never did get thatJohnny Seven O.M.A. 624 00:48:11,101 --> 00:48:13,797 Sorry to hear that. 625 00:48:13,904 --> 00:48:16,065 Hey, don't mean nothin'. 626 00:48:17,441 --> 00:48:19,602 You ever heard of a guy named Scott Sherman? 627 00:48:19,710 --> 00:48:22,736 Yeah. C.E.O. of Sherman Industries. 628 00:48:22,846 --> 00:48:24,746 He was my old neighbor... 629 00:48:24,848 --> 00:48:27,112 and his dad got him a Johnny Seven O.M.A. gun. 630 00:48:27,217 --> 00:48:29,117 You know what happened? 631 00:48:29,219 --> 00:48:31,187 He became a billionaire. 632 00:48:31,288 --> 00:48:34,086 And me? Well- 633 00:48:34,191 --> 00:48:36,659 I'm just a loser with no future. 634 00:48:38,228 --> 00:48:40,389 Here's to you, Dad. 635 00:48:52,076 --> 00:48:54,101 I can't let this happen. 636 00:48:54,211 --> 00:48:56,509 It's just a doll. 637 00:48:56,613 --> 00:48:58,672 It's just a stupid little plastic doll! 638 00:48:58,782 --> 00:49:00,682 Uh-uh-uh. That's "action figure." 639 00:49:00,784 --> 00:49:02,809 There's got to be one around here somewhere! 640 00:49:02,986 --> 00:49:05,750 You say you've been looking everywhere for a Turbo Man doll? 641 00:49:05,856 --> 00:49:06,823 Yes. 642 00:49:06,924 --> 00:49:08,516 You say you'd do just about anything to get your hands on one? 643 00:49:10,704 --> 00:49:14,105 - Yes, yes. - Well, KQRS has good news for you. 644 00:49:14,208 --> 00:49:18,110 If you're the first caller to correctly identify all eight of Santa's reindeer... 645 00:49:18,212 --> 00:49:21,875 you will be the winner of the hottest toy sinceJohnny Seven O.M.A. 646 00:49:21,982 --> 00:49:24,007 Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen. All right. 647 00:49:24,117 --> 00:49:27,109 It's easy. Just call 555-KQRS. 648 00:49:27,221 --> 00:49:29,519 - No! - I don't think so, buddy! 649 00:49:29,623 --> 00:49:32,114 My arm! 650 00:49:35,862 --> 00:49:39,025 Give me the phone! 651 00:49:39,132 --> 00:49:41,600 - Give me the phone! - There you are! 652 00:49:44,304 --> 00:49:47,171 Comet, Cupid, Prancer- 653 00:49:47,274 --> 00:49:50,141 - KQRS. Hello. - Okay, I got the answer! 654 00:49:50,244 --> 00:49:54,203 No, you don't! 655 00:49:54,314 --> 00:49:56,839 You! 656 00:49:56,950 --> 00:50:00,386 - Why did you do that? I got through! - 911! 911! 657 00:50:00,487 --> 00:50:02,887 - I got through! - Help! 658 00:50:02,990 --> 00:50:06,153 Hey, look, you guys, the radio station's just two blocks down on Wabasha. 659 00:50:13,300 --> 00:50:15,200 I got the... answer! 660 00:50:15,302 --> 00:50:17,896 I got the answer! 661 00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:21,403 Bye-bye. Sorry. 662 00:50:22,843 --> 00:50:26,404 Oh, he barked up the wrong tree! 663 00:50:29,082 --> 00:50:31,846 Oh, I can run like this for miles! 664 00:50:31,952 --> 00:50:34,750 Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen! 665 00:50:34,855 --> 00:50:36,550 Ha, ha! 666 00:50:36,657 --> 00:50:39,057 Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen! 667 00:50:39,159 --> 00:50:42,253 Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen! 668 00:50:42,362 --> 00:50:45,263 Ha, ha! I'm having a good time! Bye! 669 00:50:45,365 --> 00:50:47,424 Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen... 670 00:50:47,534 --> 00:50:49,695 Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen! 671 00:50:53,273 --> 00:50:56,208 Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen. 672 00:50:56,310 --> 00:50:58,904 KQRS. You're on the air. 673 00:50:59,012 --> 00:51:02,004 - Dasher, Dancer- - Uh, Randy, Jermaine, Tito- 674 00:51:02,115 --> 00:51:04,515 Nope, not even close. Sorry. 675 00:51:04,618 --> 00:51:06,848 - Maybe this will put us in the mood- - I got the answer! 676 00:51:06,953 --> 00:51:09,114 Let me in! Let me in! I got the answer! 677 00:51:09,222 --> 00:51:12,020 Come on! I got the answer! Yes, I got the answer! 678 00:51:12,125 --> 00:51:14,025 Come on. Open up! Open up! 679 00:51:15,829 --> 00:51:20,732 Yeah, I got a madman in my studio, and- Help me! 680 00:51:20,834 --> 00:51:24,133 - You can't just- - Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen! 681 00:51:24,237 --> 00:51:26,705 - What? - You see, I couldn't get through on the phone. 682 00:51:26,807 --> 00:51:29,776 - Did I win? - Oh, no, it's not that simple! 683 00:51:29,876 --> 00:51:32,470 - No, it's-Wait, wait, wait! - You're too late! 684 00:51:32,579 --> 00:51:35,946 I've already got the right answer! I won! Yeah! 685 00:51:36,049 --> 00:51:39,314 I don't need the right answer to win! I got this! 686 00:51:39,419 --> 00:51:43,981 - And what's that? - This, Mr. Track Star, is a homemade explosive device! 687 00:51:46,526 --> 00:51:49,256 - A bomb? - Good Lordy! 688 00:51:49,363 --> 00:51:51,297 Yes, in layman's terms- a bomb! So back up! 689 00:51:51,398 --> 00:51:55,459 - You built a bomb? - I didn't have to build a bomb. Don't you read the news? 690 00:51:55,569 --> 00:51:57,560 Hundreds of these things come through the mail every day. 691 00:51:57,671 --> 00:51:59,662 I just kept one in case I ever needed it. 692 00:51:59,773 --> 00:52:03,334 So give me the doll, or I'm gonna blow up everybody in this place! 693 00:52:03,443 --> 00:52:06,901 Are you out of your mind? Put this thing away! This is not worth it! 694 00:52:07,013 --> 00:52:09,413 Maybe not to you, but to me it is. So back up! 695 00:52:09,516 --> 00:52:12,815 Myron! Come on, old buddy. 696 00:52:12,919 --> 00:52:15,080 Give me the package, all right? Come on. 697 00:52:15,188 --> 00:52:17,088 - Did you call me buddy? - Yeah. 698 00:52:17,190 --> 00:52:20,648 I am not your buddy! I tried to be your teammate! I wanted to be your friend! 699 00:52:20,761 --> 00:52:24,788 - But no! You had other plans for Myron Larabee! - No, I had no plans. 700 00:52:24,898 --> 00:52:26,866 You were no different than the rest of those civilians... 701 00:52:26,967 --> 00:52:31,131 those common letter writers who make fun of my kneesocks and my safari hat in the summer! 702 00:52:32,806 --> 00:52:34,637 Are you laughing at me? 703 00:52:34,741 --> 00:52:37,335 - Huh? - Oh, no! Lord, no. No, not at all. 704 00:52:37,444 --> 00:52:40,311 Mr. Ponytail Man, I know you! I know your kind! 705 00:52:40,414 --> 00:52:43,008 You're the kind that puts the trash can in front of the mailbox... 706 00:52:43,116 --> 00:52:45,311 so I have to get out of myJeep, don't you? 707 00:52:45,419 --> 00:52:47,683 - No, not true! I recycle! - Shut up! 708 00:52:47,788 --> 00:52:49,949 That's right! Shut up! Why do you think the window's there? 709 00:52:50,056 --> 00:52:53,548 So I can just put the mail in there! But you act like everything's okay! 710 00:52:53,660 --> 00:52:57,494 "Hey, Mr. Mailman!" Like I have no feelings of my own! 711 00:52:57,597 --> 00:52:59,531 - Hit the deck! - Oh! 712 00:53:09,109 --> 00:53:11,441 Ooh! Ooh! 713 00:53:16,583 --> 00:53:18,483 Look, I'm- I'm sorry. 714 00:53:18,585 --> 00:53:20,519 I've been under pressure since this Zip+4 thing. 715 00:53:20,620 --> 00:53:22,520 - You twisted- - Don't hit me! I got sickle cell! 716 00:53:22,622 --> 00:53:24,522 - Don't hit me! - Excuse me. Gentlemen. 717 00:53:24,624 --> 00:53:26,524 Are you two under the impression... 718 00:53:26,626 --> 00:53:29,527 that I have a Turbo Man doll here in the studio? 719 00:53:29,629 --> 00:53:31,529 - Yes. - That's what you said on the radio. 720 00:53:31,631 --> 00:53:33,929 - Oh, no. No, no. No, no, no, no. - Yes, you did. 721 00:53:34,034 --> 00:53:39,438 What I actually said was whoever won would get a doll eventually. 722 00:53:41,107 --> 00:53:43,871 You see, what we have here- 723 00:53:43,977 --> 00:53:47,071 Ha! Oh! Is a gift certificate. 724 00:53:47,180 --> 00:53:49,045 - A gift certificate? - Right. 725 00:53:51,151 --> 00:53:54,609 As soon as they get some in the stores- 726 00:53:58,225 --> 00:54:00,785 - Did you call the cops? - Well- kinda. 727 00:54:00,894 --> 00:54:03,419 Let's get outta here. But I'm going first, buddy! 728 00:54:09,636 --> 00:54:11,695 Better luck next time, loser. 729 00:54:11,805 --> 00:54:13,864 - Freeze! - Hey! Hey! 730 00:54:13,974 --> 00:54:15,566 Hey, guys! 731 00:54:19,012 --> 00:54:21,207 Just can't stay out of trouble, can you? 732 00:54:21,314 --> 00:54:23,748 You wouldn't want to hurt a fellow civil servant, would you? 733 00:54:23,850 --> 00:54:26,216 What's all this violence? It's Christmas. 734 00:54:26,319 --> 00:54:28,412 I was just delivering some Christmas- Hey! 735 00:54:28,522 --> 00:54:32,219 Back up! This is a homemade explosive device! And I'll blow it up! 736 00:54:32,325 --> 00:54:35,783 Know why? 'Cause I work for the post office! So you know I'm not stable! 737 00:54:35,896 --> 00:54:38,160 Tell them! 738 00:54:39,299 --> 00:54:41,267 This man is totally insane. 739 00:54:41,368 --> 00:54:45,065 Thank you! Now put the guns down. Now! 740 00:54:45,171 --> 00:54:47,298 Put them down! Brother man, put your gun down! 741 00:54:47,407 --> 00:54:50,968 Everybody! You, too, BarnabyJones. 742 00:55:00,754 --> 00:55:02,449 All right, just stay there. 743 00:55:02,556 --> 00:55:06,287 And I'll know if you move, 'cause I have the ears of a snake! 744 00:55:06,393 --> 00:55:08,793 Ciao, baby. 745 00:55:17,103 --> 00:55:20,436 - Oh, you shouldn't mess with that. - Relax, Sparky. 746 00:55:20,540 --> 00:55:23,168 I was on the bomb squad for 10 years. 747 00:55:36,623 --> 00:55:39,854 I'm the man! I'm the man! 748 00:55:39,960 --> 00:55:42,724 Gentlemen, we've been duped. 749 00:55:44,831 --> 00:55:47,857 This is nothing but a harmless Christmas package. 750 00:55:53,239 --> 00:55:55,139 That was really a bomb? 751 00:55:55,241 --> 00:55:57,505 This is a sick world we're living in. Sick people! 752 00:56:00,447 --> 00:56:02,312 How many years on the bomb squad? 753 00:56:21,066 --> 00:56:23,193 Liz, honey... 754 00:56:23,302 --> 00:56:26,271 I did everything within my power to get the doll forJamie. 755 00:56:26,371 --> 00:56:30,535 But look, I got a gift certificate, which is just as good. 756 00:56:30,642 --> 00:56:33,634 Eh! Too happy. 757 00:56:33,745 --> 00:56:36,145 - Show a little emotion. - Emotions. 758 00:56:36,248 --> 00:56:41,083 Oh, Liz, I'm so sorry I didn't get one. 759 00:56:42,521 --> 00:56:46,617 I failed as a husband, and I failed as a father. 760 00:56:47,793 --> 00:56:50,728 Could you ever forgive me? Please? 761 00:56:53,765 --> 00:56:57,360 Why don't you just put on a dress and weep like a little girl? 762 00:57:18,390 --> 00:57:19,982 Thanks a lot. 763 00:57:32,271 --> 00:57:34,398 That son of a- 764 00:57:39,444 --> 00:57:42,470 - What are you doing? - Your star wasn't up. 765 00:57:42,581 --> 00:57:44,708 It's Christmas eve. You've gotta have your star up. 766 00:57:44,816 --> 00:57:46,875 I'm out all day... 767 00:57:46,985 --> 00:57:50,352 and he's in my house... 768 00:57:50,455 --> 00:57:54,084 putting up my star on my tree. 769 00:57:56,194 --> 00:57:58,594 I got a Turbo Man forJohnny months ago. 770 00:57:58,697 --> 00:58:01,632 It's nestled safely under our tree. 771 00:58:01,733 --> 00:58:04,133 Nestled safely under our tree. 772 00:58:04,236 --> 00:58:07,000 Safely under our tree. 773 00:58:07,105 --> 00:58:10,541 I'll show him. Ha! 774 00:58:13,812 --> 00:58:16,372 Oh, I-I'm sorry, Ted, but that's Howard's job. 775 00:58:16,481 --> 00:58:19,211 He always puts the star on. He's adamant about it. 776 00:58:19,318 --> 00:58:21,218 Too bad he's not as adamant... 777 00:58:21,320 --> 00:58:24,915 about spending time with his family on Christmas eve. 778 00:58:51,542 --> 00:58:53,669 It's turbo time! 779 00:58:59,951 --> 00:59:04,251 Liz, do you hear that? Carolers! 780 00:59:13,431 --> 00:59:14,864 The back door. 781 00:59:40,291 --> 00:59:42,384 What am I doing? 782 00:59:42,493 --> 00:59:44,654 Look at me. 783 00:59:44,762 --> 00:59:46,787 Stealing from a kid? 784 00:59:49,133 --> 00:59:51,101 I can't do this. 785 00:59:52,637 --> 00:59:54,605 You're gonna go back. 786 00:59:56,941 --> 00:59:59,307 Nice doggy. 787 01:00:01,045 --> 01:00:03,411 Nice. 788 01:00:12,690 --> 01:00:14,988 Oh! 789 01:00:29,240 --> 01:00:30,764 No! 790 01:00:54,098 --> 01:00:55,622 Oh. 791 01:01:04,442 --> 01:01:06,342 Balthazar. 792 01:01:08,679 --> 01:01:11,409 - Howard? - Hi. 793 01:01:12,917 --> 01:01:15,886 Uh-oh. Uh! 794 01:01:15,986 --> 01:01:19,046 What are you doing? 795 01:01:19,156 --> 01:01:21,056 - I, uh- - What's that? 796 01:01:21,158 --> 01:01:22,887 Oh. 797 01:01:22,993 --> 01:01:25,826 You can always count on me. 798 01:01:25,930 --> 01:01:28,922 - That is Johnny's Turbo Man. - What? 799 01:01:29,033 --> 01:01:31,433 - It's not what you think it is. - Oh, it isn't? Really? 800 01:01:31,535 --> 01:01:34,197 Then do tell me what it is, because as far as I know... 801 01:01:34,305 --> 01:01:36,671 you gotJamie his own Turbo Man weeks ago. 802 01:01:36,774 --> 01:01:39,140 What it looks like is that you've broken into our neighbor's house... 803 01:01:39,243 --> 01:01:41,211 and you're stealing presents from under the tree. 804 01:01:41,312 --> 01:01:44,110 Liz, if you just give me a second, I could explain it to you. 805 01:01:44,316 --> 01:01:48,184 I know parts of this are going to sound completely ridiculous... 806 01:01:48,286 --> 01:01:50,447 but let me tell you the truth. 807 01:01:50,555 --> 01:01:53,922 Howard, I've been listening to your version of the truth for far too long now... 808 01:01:54,025 --> 01:01:56,220 and honestly, I don't want to anymore. 809 01:01:56,328 --> 01:01:59,195 All I want is to salvage what's left of Christmas eve... 810 01:01:59,297 --> 01:02:02,357 and go to the parade with my son. 811 01:02:02,467 --> 01:02:04,332 Liz, please. 812 01:02:05,570 --> 01:02:08,630 - Ted, would you drive us? - Of course. 813 01:02:14,179 --> 01:02:17,171 You can't bench-press your way out of this one. 814 01:02:19,518 --> 01:02:21,418 Oh, God. 815 01:02:26,491 --> 01:02:29,255 You picked the wrong day. 816 01:02:31,796 --> 01:02:33,855 Uh! 817 01:02:35,800 --> 01:02:38,963 Oh. You started it. 818 01:02:45,076 --> 01:02:48,011 Mom, do you think Dad's gonna be at the parade? 819 01:02:48,113 --> 01:02:50,081 I wouldn't count on it, honey. 820 01:02:52,150 --> 01:02:54,550 Hey, Turbo Man's gonna be there. 821 01:02:54,653 --> 01:02:56,621 You can always count on him. 822 01:02:59,958 --> 01:03:02,085 Hey, Rudolph, can I buy you another round? 823 01:03:05,230 --> 01:03:06,891 Here. 824 01:03:34,359 --> 01:03:37,328 Sorry, buddy, but you're on your own. 825 01:03:39,864 --> 01:03:42,731 It's time I start keeping my promises. 826 01:04:04,723 --> 01:04:07,123 There. You see? 827 01:04:14,733 --> 01:04:16,758 Well, it looks like it's that time of year again- 828 01:04:16,868 --> 01:04:19,632 the 1 2th annual Holiday Wintertainment Parade. 829 01:04:19,738 --> 01:04:24,107 I'm weatherman Gale Force here with the lovely Liza Tisch of A.M. Live. 830 01:04:24,209 --> 01:04:26,109 Merry Christmas, Gale. 831 01:04:26,211 --> 01:04:28,702 We're high atop Channel 29's parade central... 832 01:04:28,813 --> 01:04:31,941 to keep you updated on all of this year's parade action. 833 01:04:32,050 --> 01:04:35,451 - Let's watch- - And listen. 834 01:04:58,710 --> 01:05:01,144 The parade's already started! 835 01:05:01,246 --> 01:05:03,146 Hey, Dad, there's Owen and his dad. 836 01:05:03,248 --> 01:05:05,876 Can we get out and stand with them while you park the car? 837 01:05:05,984 --> 01:05:09,545 - Please? Please? Please? - Yeah, please? Please? 838 01:05:09,654 --> 01:05:11,554 - Okay. - Okay. We'll meet you there. 839 01:05:11,656 --> 01:05:13,556 Yes! Yeah! 840 01:05:13,658 --> 01:05:16,650 - And don't go wandering off. - Okay, Mom. 841 01:05:16,761 --> 01:05:19,821 - And, Jamie, put on your hat. - I know. 842 01:05:19,931 --> 01:05:22,058 Owen! Owen! 843 01:05:22,167 --> 01:05:24,567 All right, kids. Come on. 844 01:05:31,843 --> 01:05:34,277 Oh, wow! 845 01:05:34,379 --> 01:05:36,506 - Check it out! - You see Turbo Man? 846 01:05:36,614 --> 01:05:39,879 - Nah. They're saving him for last. - Ah. 847 01:05:54,866 --> 01:05:57,096 Oh! This is awesome. 848 01:05:57,202 --> 01:05:58,965 Cat in the Hat! 849 01:06:01,539 --> 01:06:03,029 - Yeah! - Yeah! 850 01:06:03,208 --> 01:06:04,903 Couldn't you just take Fourth Street? 851 01:06:05,009 --> 01:06:08,604 Sorry, pal. All the roads are packed. Everybody's trying to get to the parade. 852 01:06:08,713 --> 01:06:11,443 - You know, Turbo Man's gonna be there. - I know. 853 01:06:22,827 --> 01:06:25,591 Go ahead. Come on. Let's move it up. 854 01:06:27,031 --> 01:06:30,797 Liz, I'm sorry you had to go through that back there. 855 01:06:30,902 --> 01:06:33,427 Here. Have some nonalcoholic eggnog. 856 01:06:33,538 --> 01:06:35,438 Oh. I'll be fine. 857 01:06:35,540 --> 01:06:37,633 You can't hide your feelings from me. 858 01:06:37,742 --> 01:06:40,677 Go on. Let it out. Get it out of your system. 859 01:06:40,779 --> 01:06:43,077 No, really, Ted. I'm okay. 860 01:06:43,181 --> 01:06:45,149 I don't think so. 861 01:06:45,250 --> 01:06:48,549 Liz, you're like a lost and frightened foal. 862 01:06:48,653 --> 01:06:51,451 I can see it in your eyes. 863 01:06:51,556 --> 01:06:54,684 Don't worry. Ted's here. 864 01:06:54,793 --> 01:06:56,886 That's... very sweet. 865 01:06:58,196 --> 01:07:01,290 - You deserve better, Lizzie. - Lizzie? 866 01:07:01,399 --> 01:07:05,301 Someone you can talk to, a shoulder to cry on. 867 01:07:15,647 --> 01:07:19,777 It's useless, Liz. We can't hide our feelings any longer. 868 01:07:19,884 --> 01:07:22,148 Feelings? 869 01:07:22,253 --> 01:07:26,212 You know, Liz, I don't have to tell you, I'm a very eligible bachelor. 870 01:07:26,324 --> 01:07:30,021 There are lots of women who would give anything to be in your position right now. 871 01:07:30,128 --> 01:07:32,961 Well, I'm a lucky, lucky girl. 872 01:07:34,933 --> 01:07:37,458 For me, it all started months ago... 873 01:07:37,569 --> 01:07:40,538 at your Labor Day barbecue, remember? 874 01:07:40,638 --> 01:07:43,573 And you asked me how to marinate ahi tuna... 875 01:07:43,675 --> 01:07:48,135 and I said, "All you need is Italian salad dressing." 876 01:07:58,857 --> 01:08:01,257 You! 877 01:08:03,328 --> 01:08:06,092 Come here. Stop that man! 878 01:08:06,197 --> 01:08:08,097 Enough talking. 879 01:08:08,199 --> 01:08:09,757 Ow! 880 01:08:13,805 --> 01:08:17,434 Well, that didn't exactly go as well as I'd hoped. 881 01:08:53,511 --> 01:08:56,639 You! Who are you? Are you the guy? 882 01:08:56,748 --> 01:08:59,239 - Huh? - Oh, thank God. Hey, we got him, people! 883 01:08:59,350 --> 01:09:02,046 Okay. Okay, listen up. We're running late here, so pay attention. 884 01:09:02,153 --> 01:09:04,246 You already read the instruction manual we sent you... 885 01:09:04,355 --> 01:09:06,323 so you know all about all the important controls. 886 01:09:06,424 --> 01:09:08,824 - Let me just go over a couple of the changes. - What changes? 887 01:09:08,927 --> 01:09:10,827 There are three cutoff valves to the nitro fuel. 888 01:09:10,929 --> 01:09:13,227 - What are you talk- - Here, here and here. 889 01:09:13,331 --> 01:09:16,061 The normal reading on the pressure gauge should read anywhere below 50. 890 01:09:16,167 --> 01:09:19,398 - But I- - Not 70 like we told you earlier. 891 01:09:19,504 --> 01:09:21,472 - The emergency cutoff switch is here. - But you don't understand. 892 01:09:21,572 --> 01:09:23,733 The primary controls are gonna be right here. 893 01:09:23,841 --> 01:09:26,071 And there's also a microphone inside the helmet... 894 01:09:26,177 --> 01:09:28,771 that will alter your voice to the proper tonality. 895 01:09:28,880 --> 01:09:32,782 - Procedure-wise-same as we talked about over the phone. - Procedure? 896 01:09:32,884 --> 01:09:35,478 - Stick to that, there shouldn't be any problems. Questions? - Yes. 897 01:09:35,586 --> 01:09:38,680 Before you say anything, let me just take a moment and speak for everyone... 898 01:09:38,790 --> 01:09:42,157 when I thank you for filling in for Pete on such short notice. 899 01:09:42,260 --> 01:09:45,423 It was a total freak accident what happened at rehearsal. 900 01:09:45,530 --> 01:09:48,192 - We're confident we got all the kinks worked out of the system. - Accident? 901 01:09:48,299 --> 01:09:52,167 You should know the doctor said Pete actually showed some brain activity this morning. 902 01:09:52,270 --> 01:09:55,171 Yeah! That's a really good sign. 903 01:09:57,408 --> 01:09:59,569 Move it out, people! 904 01:09:59,677 --> 01:10:03,636 Finally! Where the hell have you been? 905 01:10:03,748 --> 01:10:06,842 Geez! I've been sweating like a dog in a Chinese restaurant... 906 01:10:06,951 --> 01:10:09,886 waiting for your sorry ass to show up. 907 01:10:09,988 --> 01:10:12,957 Well, it's show time. 908 01:10:14,492 --> 01:10:16,722 I know you. You're Booster. 909 01:10:16,828 --> 01:10:20,594 Yeah, and who the hell do you think you are- Mary Poppins? 910 01:10:20,698 --> 01:10:22,791 Come on! Come on! Let's go! Let's do it! 911 01:10:22,900 --> 01:10:25,164 - Go! Go! Go! - Wait a minute. Let's talk about this. 912 01:10:25,269 --> 01:10:27,169 Have a great show. 913 01:10:34,112 --> 01:10:37,309 And now, the moment you've all been waiting for. 914 01:10:37,415 --> 01:10:39,747 Here he is, boys and girls, live and in person- 915 01:10:39,851 --> 01:10:42,217 Turbo Man! 916 01:11:07,678 --> 01:11:10,238 Wow. 917 01:11:12,784 --> 01:11:15,947 Wave, you idiot! Wave! 918 01:11:16,054 --> 01:11:18,852 Wave? 919 01:11:18,956 --> 01:11:20,856 Yes. 920 01:11:30,134 --> 01:11:32,295 This is cool. 921 01:11:32,403 --> 01:11:35,566 - Yeah! Whoo! - Look, Mom. It's Turbo Man. 922 01:11:42,080 --> 01:11:44,105 I can get into this. 923 01:12:07,238 --> 01:12:09,206 Liza, in a few moments, Turbo Man himself... 924 01:12:09,307 --> 01:12:11,275 will select a special child from our audience. 925 01:12:11,375 --> 01:12:13,605 That little boy or girl will be the lucky winner... 926 01:12:13,711 --> 01:12:16,236 of a special edition Turbo Man doll. 927 01:12:20,785 --> 01:12:23,811 Aw, man! Awesome! 928 01:12:23,921 --> 01:12:26,515 Hey! You're supposed to be holding this! 929 01:12:26,624 --> 01:12:28,854 Oh. 930 01:12:41,606 --> 01:12:44,769 Yes! 931 01:12:44,876 --> 01:12:46,366 Yes! 932 01:12:57,955 --> 01:13:00,788 - Hey, rock star. Better be on your toes. - Yeah? 933 01:13:00,892 --> 01:13:03,520 - Dementor's gonna be jumping on the float. - Who? 934 01:13:11,068 --> 01:13:14,868 Oh, what's he doing? Look, would you pick a kid already? 935 01:13:14,972 --> 01:13:17,167 Pick a kid? 936 01:13:17,275 --> 01:13:21,678 Pick a kid so he can come up here and get his prize! 937 01:13:21,779 --> 01:13:24,373 - Pick me, Turbo Man! - Over here! 938 01:13:24,482 --> 01:13:26,643 Turbo Man! Turbo Man! 939 01:13:26,751 --> 01:13:29,549 Pick me! Pick me! Over here! 940 01:13:31,088 --> 01:13:33,352 - He's looking at me. - Here! No. He's looking at me! 941 01:13:36,194 --> 01:13:38,560 - See that? He's pointing at me. - Nah, it's me! 942 01:13:38,663 --> 01:13:41,223 - Me! Me! - Me! Me! 943 01:13:41,332 --> 01:13:42,731 - Me! - Me! 944 01:13:44,001 --> 01:13:45,366 Jamie! 945 01:13:48,272 --> 01:13:51,105 He knows my name. 946 01:14:01,219 --> 01:14:04,086 Liza, I think Turbo Man has selected a winner. 947 01:14:04,188 --> 01:14:06,554 Go ahead. Go ahead, honey. Go. 948 01:14:06,657 --> 01:14:09,217 Go, Jamie! 949 01:14:25,509 --> 01:14:27,534 Merry Christmas, Jamie. 950 01:14:37,655 --> 01:14:42,092 Wow. How did you know my name? 951 01:14:42,193 --> 01:14:47,460 Well, Jamie, you see, I'm your fa- 952 01:14:53,537 --> 01:14:57,997 Oh, no, kids! It's Turbo Man's archenemy- Dementor! 953 01:15:03,347 --> 01:15:04,974 Oh, shut up! 954 01:15:05,082 --> 01:15:07,676 - Shut up! - Was that in the script? 955 01:15:07,785 --> 01:15:10,982 All right, kid. Give me the doll, and nobody gets hurt. 956 01:15:11,088 --> 01:15:14,057 - Myron? - That's right, Turtle Man. 957 01:15:14,158 --> 01:15:16,353 Thought you could outsmart me, didn't you, huh? 958 01:15:16,460 --> 01:15:19,190 Thought your little suit idea was so slick. 959 01:15:19,297 --> 01:15:21,424 But you know what? I'm one step ahead of you... 960 01:15:21,532 --> 01:15:24,592 because I've got a bigger brain. 961 01:15:24,702 --> 01:15:27,432 Just stay here. 962 01:15:27,538 --> 01:15:31,030 Come on, Myron. You're taking this too far. 963 01:15:31,142 --> 01:15:33,610 Hey, I'm not going home without that doll! 964 01:15:33,711 --> 01:15:37,306 Hey, buddy! This ain't the way we rehearsed it! 965 01:15:37,415 --> 01:15:40,475 You know what? Nobody likes you, Booster. 966 01:15:41,485 --> 01:15:44,045 Whoa! 967 01:15:44,155 --> 01:15:47,215 - We don't like you, Booster! - We hate you, Booster! 968 01:15:47,325 --> 01:15:49,657 Hey, where do you think you're going, kid? 969 01:15:49,760 --> 01:15:53,218 Come back here, my little pretty- and your little doll too! 970 01:15:53,331 --> 01:15:55,731 - Hey, Myron! Leave the kid alone! - Gotcha! 971 01:15:56,767 --> 01:15:58,632 Ta-ta, Turtle Man. 972 01:16:08,112 --> 01:16:11,104 Uh-oh, Liza. It looks like Dementor has beaten Turbo Man. 973 01:16:11,215 --> 01:16:15,845 Oh, no, Gale. This could be the end of civilization as we know it. 974 01:16:15,953 --> 01:16:20,890 - Do something, Turbo Man! Use your turbo discs! - My what? 975 01:16:20,991 --> 01:16:22,856 On your arm! 976 01:16:24,428 --> 01:16:26,828 Hey, Myron! I have a special delivery for you. 977 01:16:26,931 --> 01:16:29,263 - Huh? - Hah! 978 01:16:29,367 --> 01:16:31,426 All right! 979 01:16:38,943 --> 01:16:42,674 Yeah! 980 01:16:42,780 --> 01:16:46,113 Oh! It appears that Turbo Man has saved the day. 981 01:16:47,318 --> 01:16:49,377 I'm going to take you back to your mom, okay? 982 01:16:49,487 --> 01:16:51,751 Go! Go! Demon Team! 983 01:16:51,856 --> 01:16:54,450 It's the Demon Team- Dementor's evil henchmen! 984 01:16:54,558 --> 01:16:57,618 - What you gonna do now, kid? - Hyah! 985 01:17:03,634 --> 01:17:06,933 - What about my son? - Don't you know the choreography? 986 01:17:07,037 --> 01:17:10,063 - Mom! - Jamie! 987 01:17:10,174 --> 01:17:13,337 I ain't through with you, kid! 988 01:17:16,647 --> 01:17:19,047 Get out of my way, box! 989 01:17:24,989 --> 01:17:28,322 - That's it! - Come here! I'm sorry I hollered. 990 01:17:28,426 --> 01:17:30,485 Get out of my way! Get out of my way! 991 01:17:31,996 --> 01:17:34,294 Get out of my way! Come here, boy! 992 01:17:34,398 --> 01:17:36,298 Get that popcorn out my face! 993 01:17:36,400 --> 01:17:38,561 - Come on! - Go ahead! Go ahead! 994 01:17:40,337 --> 01:17:44,000 You know what, kid? You need a time-out. 995 01:17:44,108 --> 01:17:47,043 - Jamie! - Don't worry, ma'am. It's all part of the show. 996 01:17:47,144 --> 01:17:49,612 - Please. Get back up on the sidewalk. - That's my son up there! 997 01:17:49,713 --> 01:17:51,613 Oh! He's wonderful! 998 01:17:51,715 --> 01:17:53,683 He's not part of the show! 999 01:17:53,784 --> 01:17:55,911 I'm scared ofheights. 1000 01:17:56,020 --> 01:17:59,615 You ever see the movie Vertigo? That mean anything to you? 1001 01:17:59,723 --> 01:18:02,521 - Let's get this guy! - What are you doing? 1002 01:18:02,626 --> 01:18:04,287 Oh! 1003 01:18:08,532 --> 01:18:11,365 Look. Uncle Myron wants to talk to you. 1004 01:18:14,271 --> 01:18:16,364 All right, kid! End of the line! 1005 01:18:16,474 --> 01:18:19,341 - Just give me the doll! - Never! 1006 01:18:29,720 --> 01:18:32,280 Fly! Fly, Turbo Man! Use yourjet pack! 1007 01:18:40,664 --> 01:18:45,397 It's turbo time! 1008 01:18:45,503 --> 01:18:49,166 - Wow! - Whoa! 1009 01:19:20,638 --> 01:19:23,573 I think I'm getting the hang of this! 1010 01:19:29,046 --> 01:19:32,607 - Turbo Man! Help! - Jamie! I got you! 1011 01:19:34,118 --> 01:19:37,610 Jamie! Uh! Out of my way! 1012 01:20:01,912 --> 01:20:03,812 Let us pray. 1013 01:20:10,321 --> 01:20:11,754 What the- 1014 01:20:21,065 --> 01:20:23,397 Whoa! 1015 01:20:28,238 --> 01:20:30,399 Ha, ha! I got you, kid. 1016 01:20:43,120 --> 01:20:44,781 Just give me the doll, kid! 1017 01:20:44,888 --> 01:20:47,755 Get up! Get up! 1018 01:20:49,226 --> 01:20:51,956 Turbo Man! Use your turbo-rang! 1019 01:20:52,796 --> 01:20:54,696 Come on! 1020 01:20:57,034 --> 01:21:00,800 Ha, ha! Missed me! 1021 01:21:04,475 --> 01:21:07,171 - Oh! - Ha, ha! Victory is mine! 1022 01:21:07,277 --> 01:21:09,802 V-I-C-T-O-R-Y! 1023 01:21:11,582 --> 01:21:13,948 Yeah! 1024 01:21:17,621 --> 01:21:20,021 Yeah! 1025 01:21:20,124 --> 01:21:22,354 Wow! 1026 01:21:22,459 --> 01:21:24,359 I got it! I got one! 1027 01:21:24,461 --> 01:21:26,554 I finally got one! 1028 01:21:33,137 --> 01:21:37,039 - Turbo Man! Help! - Jamie! 1029 01:21:43,480 --> 01:21:46,244 - Gotcha! - Yes! 1030 01:21:47,818 --> 01:21:51,015 Thanks, Turbo Man. I knew you'd save me. 1031 01:21:51,121 --> 01:21:53,681 You can always count on me. 1032 01:22:13,377 --> 01:22:15,436 Awesome! 1033 01:22:20,951 --> 01:22:22,851 Here you go, ma'am. 1034 01:22:22,953 --> 01:22:25,285 Mom! Did you see that? 1035 01:22:25,389 --> 01:22:27,857 I was flying with Turbo Man! He saved me from Dementor! 1036 01:22:27,958 --> 01:22:30,586 It was the coolest! Did you see it? Did you? 1037 01:22:30,694 --> 01:22:33,686 I saw. I saw. 1038 01:22:33,864 --> 01:22:37,891 Oh, thank you, sir. I don't think you know how much he means to me. 1039 01:22:38,001 --> 01:22:40,265 Oh, I think I have an idea. 1040 01:22:42,539 --> 01:22:44,734 What's the matter, Jame? 1041 01:22:44,842 --> 01:22:48,437 It's just- I wish that Dad could have been here, you know? 1042 01:22:48,545 --> 01:22:50,570 To see me fly and all. 1043 01:22:50,681 --> 01:22:54,640 But he didn't come, and it's all my fault. 1044 01:22:54,752 --> 01:22:58,051 He's mad at me. We had a fight on the phone... 1045 01:22:58,155 --> 01:23:00,055 and I kind of yelled at him. 1046 01:23:00,157 --> 01:23:03,593 Jamie, your dad is not mad at you. 1047 01:23:03,694 --> 01:23:07,630 He loves you more than anything in the whole wide world. 1048 01:23:07,731 --> 01:23:09,926 You're his all-time favorite person. 1049 01:23:10,033 --> 01:23:11,933 How do you know all that? 1050 01:23:12,035 --> 01:23:16,062 Well, who would know better than me? 1051 01:23:16,173 --> 01:23:18,937 - Dad? - Howard? 1052 01:23:19,042 --> 01:23:23,103 - I'm right here. - Howard! 1053 01:23:23,213 --> 01:23:26,273 Oh, Liz, you two mean more to me than anything. 1054 01:23:26,383 --> 01:23:29,352 I'm so sorry if I haven't shown that lately. 1055 01:23:29,453 --> 01:23:31,944 I know I've been neglecting both of you. 1056 01:23:32,055 --> 01:23:33,955 But no more. 1057 01:23:34,057 --> 01:23:36,753 I love you. I love you both. 1058 01:23:36,860 --> 01:23:41,695 - Johnny, what's goin' on here? - Look! Jamie's dad is Turbo Man! 1059 01:23:41,799 --> 01:23:44,597 - Let's get outta here! - Dad, you smell like barf. 1060 01:23:47,104 --> 01:23:49,265 Young man. 1061 01:23:49,373 --> 01:23:52,342 I think I have something that belongs to you. 1062 01:23:52,442 --> 01:23:55,502 - Thanks! - You're welcome. 1063 01:23:55,612 --> 01:23:57,637 And as for you, Turbo Man... 1064 01:23:57,748 --> 01:24:00,842 we could use a man like you on the force. 1065 01:24:00,951 --> 01:24:02,816 Thanks. 1066 01:24:02,920 --> 01:24:05,855 I'll keep that in mind. 1067 01:24:05,956 --> 01:24:08,686 Oh, I'm sorry about the bike... 1068 01:24:09,726 --> 01:24:11,853 and the coffee... 1069 01:24:11,962 --> 01:24:13,953 and the bus... 1070 01:24:14,064 --> 01:24:16,692 and, uh, the bomb. 1071 01:24:16,800 --> 01:24:20,531 I had it! I had it! I had it right here in my hands! 1072 01:24:20,637 --> 01:24:22,628 What am I gonna tell my son on Christmas morning? 1073 01:24:22,739 --> 01:24:26,641 - How am I gonna look him in the eye? How? - Wait. 1074 01:24:26,743 --> 01:24:29,337 - Did you see? I had it, man. I was so close. - Wait. 1075 01:24:31,348 --> 01:24:33,179 Merry Christmas. 1076 01:24:34,585 --> 01:24:38,385 - Wow. Wow. - But- 1077 01:24:38,488 --> 01:24:41,753 Hey, thank- thank you. Thank you. 1078 01:24:41,859 --> 01:24:44,726 You know, this is gonna make my son really happy. 1079 01:24:44,828 --> 01:24:47,388 I'm sorry about that, uh, little tension we had on the roof. 1080 01:24:47,497 --> 01:24:49,931 Hey, it's cool. 1081 01:24:50,033 --> 01:24:54,367 But, Jamie, I thought you wanted this doll more than anything. 1082 01:24:54,471 --> 01:24:58,407 What do I need the doll for? I got the real Turbo Man at home. 1083 01:24:58,508 --> 01:25:00,999 - Oh! - Turbo Man! 1084 01:25:01,111 --> 01:25:03,204 That-That's my husband. 1085 01:25:03,313 --> 01:25:05,907 Turbo Man! Turbo Man! 1086 01:25:09,697 --> 01:25:13,497 That's my dad! That's my dad! 1087 01:25:39,694 --> 01:25:42,458 - Hey! - Yeah, look at that. There it is. 1088 01:25:42,563 --> 01:25:44,463 - Voila! - Beautiful. 1089 01:25:44,565 --> 01:25:48,296 - Perfecto! - Mmm! 1090 01:25:49,237 --> 01:25:52,638 Howard, I've been thinking. 1091 01:25:52,740 --> 01:25:54,708 Everything that you went through today forJamie... 1092 01:25:54,809 --> 01:25:56,777 really shows how much you love him. 1093 01:25:56,878 --> 01:26:01,144 And, uh-And if you're willing to go through all of that for him... 1094 01:26:01,249 --> 01:26:03,581 just for a present... 1095 01:26:03,684 --> 01:26:05,584 well, that makes me wonder. 1096 01:26:05,686 --> 01:26:07,745 What? 1097 01:26:09,090 --> 01:26:10,990 What did you get me?