1 00:01:27,975 --> 00:01:34,075 O great American multitude, and sports fans everywhere. 2 00:01:34,175 --> 00:01:39,275 Today we inaugurate the 20th annual Transcontinental Road Race. 3 00:01:39,375 --> 00:01:43,774 Today the five bravest young men and women 4 00:01:43,874 --> 00:01:46,774 in this bravest of nations 5 00:01:46,874 --> 00:01:48,474 will risk their lives 6 00:01:48,574 --> 00:01:52,574 in the greatest sporting event since the days of Spartacus. 7 00:01:52,674 --> 00:01:57,874 Three days hence, a new American champion will be crowned, 8 00:01:57,974 --> 00:02:01,974 for all the world to behold in awe, 9 00:02:01,974 --> 00:02:03,674 in respect, 10 00:02:03,774 --> 00:02:05,374 in fear. 11 00:02:05,474 --> 00:02:10,873 All right, all right. This is Junior Bruce, your buddy-buddy and mine. 12 00:02:10,973 --> 00:02:14,273 And I'll be giving you the blow-by-blow play-by-play 13 00:02:14,273 --> 00:02:18,773 when the kings and queens of the open road roar onto the track. 14 00:02:18,873 --> 00:02:21,373 Do I hear the sound of engines? 15 00:02:21,473 --> 00:02:25,273 It's "Calamity" Jane Kelly, queen of the road, 16 00:02:25,373 --> 00:02:28,873 at the wheel of that mean old ornery stud Bull. 17 00:02:32,773 --> 00:02:36,172 Zany Janie, winner of this year's trials at Watkins Glen, 18 00:02:36,272 --> 00:02:38,272 placed second in 1998 19 00:02:38,272 --> 00:02:42,672 and led at last year's second lap until she went out with gear trouble. 20 00:02:42,772 --> 00:02:47,372 Her fans and lovers everywhere wish Janie better luck this year. 21 00:02:47,472 --> 00:02:49,672 My fans can wish me all the luck they want. 22 00:02:49,772 --> 00:02:53,272 If my luck with my lovers gets any better, I'll miss the race completely. 23 00:02:53,372 --> 00:02:56,172 Isn't that right, Pete? 24 00:02:56,272 --> 00:02:59,372 With the start of the race only a heartthrob away, 25 00:02:59,472 --> 00:03:02,871 this is Grace Pander on the spot - as usual - 26 00:03:02,971 --> 00:03:06,071 to welcome the greatest racer of all time, 27 00:03:06,071 --> 00:03:09,271 and a very dear friend of mine. 28 00:03:09,371 --> 00:03:14,571 Yes, in just a moment he will be coming through the doors! 29 00:03:20,871 --> 00:03:22,871 There is no cause for alarm. 30 00:03:22,971 --> 00:03:26,971 The patient has been flown in from abroad in a state of suspended animation 31 00:03:26,971 --> 00:03:31,270 in order to facilitate the healing of his recent limb transplants. 32 00:03:31,370 --> 00:03:34,770 He should be coming around any moment now. 33 00:03:37,570 --> 00:03:40,570 Oh, my... I don't believe it! 34 00:03:45,770 --> 00:03:50,670 Frankenstein, can you give me an exclusive? How are things abroad? 35 00:03:50,770 --> 00:03:54,169 How is Mr. President? Is he still in Moscow? 36 00:03:54,269 --> 00:04:00,269 Mr. President is in his summer palace in Peking. 37 00:04:00,369 --> 00:04:02,169 He loves everybody. 38 00:04:02,269 --> 00:04:04,869 And everybody loves him. 39 00:04:04,969 --> 00:04:06,869 - Sieg! - Heil! 40 00:04:06,869 --> 00:04:11,369 Here she is, that adorable swastika sweetheart, 41 00:04:11,369 --> 00:04:14,569 Matilda the Hun from Milwaukee! 42 00:04:14,669 --> 00:04:20,768 And her lovable Nazi navigator, Herman "the German" Bock! 43 00:04:29,368 --> 00:04:30,768 Matilda, Herman, 44 00:04:30,868 --> 00:04:35,968 do you think this is your turn to be first and foremost in sunny California? 45 00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:38,468 - Today, California. - Tomorrow, the world. 46 00:04:38,568 --> 00:04:41,068 Hiya, Herman. 47 00:04:41,168 --> 00:04:46,168 I hope your Buzz Bomb has a little more juice in its warhead this year. 48 00:04:49,667 --> 00:04:52,267 Whoever named your car the Bull, 49 00:04:52,367 --> 00:04:54,767 was only half right! 50 00:04:54,867 --> 00:04:58,867 Frankenstein, will Mr. President fly in to crown the winner of the race? 51 00:04:58,967 --> 00:04:59,667 Yes. 52 00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:02,067 Is it true that with your new mechanical arm 53 00:05:02,067 --> 00:05:04,967 you can shift gears in less than a twentieth of a second? 54 00:05:05,067 --> 00:05:08,267 - Would you care to comment on that? - No. 55 00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:11,967 How do you feel about going into the race with a navigator you've never met? 56 00:05:12,067 --> 00:05:15,066 You'll love Annie. She's a red-hot sexpot. 57 00:05:15,166 --> 00:05:17,666 She better be a red-hot navigator. 58 00:05:20,566 --> 00:05:21,866 No more questions. 59 00:05:21,966 --> 00:05:28,166 It's the Lion! And at the wheel, Ray "Nero the Hero" Lonnegan. 60 00:05:28,266 --> 00:05:30,466 Never has finished the Transcontinental, 61 00:05:30,466 --> 00:05:35,166 but three big wins in the provinces this season plus a brand-new beast 62 00:05:35,266 --> 00:05:38,166 means Nero's not fiddling around. 63 00:05:38,166 --> 00:05:41,865 Sit still, Cleopatra, and stop blocking me. 64 00:05:41,965 --> 00:05:44,365 My fans wanna see me. 65 00:05:44,465 --> 00:05:46,665 They've never seen a has-been before? 66 00:05:53,765 --> 00:05:56,265 - Annie Smith? - Mr. Frankenstein. 67 00:05:57,465 --> 00:06:00,265 I've checked out the car, and everything seems perfect. 68 00:06:00,365 --> 00:06:05,365 - I have the route maps right here. - I will check them in a minute. 69 00:06:06,464 --> 00:06:08,064 We will roll... 70 00:06:08,064 --> 00:06:11,164 when everything seems perfect... 71 00:06:11,264 --> 00:06:12,364 to me. 72 00:06:12,464 --> 00:06:14,764 I've packed some high-protein capsules 73 00:06:14,764 --> 00:06:17,664 and as many adrenaline tablets as I could find. 74 00:06:17,764 --> 00:06:22,564 And I've also assembled a medical kit, just in case. I'm trained as a nurse. 75 00:06:22,564 --> 00:06:25,864 I don't need a nurse. I need a navigator. 76 00:06:25,864 --> 00:06:30,464 Mr. Frankenstein, you're very good at what you do, 77 00:06:30,564 --> 00:06:33,163 and I'm very good at what I do. 78 00:06:33,263 --> 00:06:35,363 We'll see. 79 00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:42,063 And you know there's only one person who guns an engine like that. 80 00:06:42,163 --> 00:06:45,763 It's gotta be the roughest tough guy of 'em all, 81 00:06:45,863 --> 00:06:49,563 "Machine Gun" Joe Viterbo! 82 00:06:51,763 --> 00:06:54,163 Here he comes - Machine Gun Joe. 83 00:06:54,263 --> 00:06:57,663 Loved by thousands, hated by millions. 84 00:06:57,663 --> 00:07:00,962 Only living previous winner except for Frankenstein. 85 00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:03,862 Highest lifetime score after Frankenstein. 86 00:07:03,962 --> 00:07:07,862 And he's certainly getting the welcome he deserves. 87 00:07:10,962 --> 00:07:16,962 Joe doesn't look too happy, but you can't keep those Frankenstein fans down. 88 00:07:17,462 --> 00:07:20,262 Lousy sons of bitches. 89 00:07:20,262 --> 00:07:22,462 - Frankenstein? - Give it to them, Joe. 90 00:07:22,562 --> 00:07:24,562 You want Frankenstein? 91 00:07:24,662 --> 00:07:27,161 I'll give you Frankenstein. 92 00:07:31,161 --> 00:07:31,861 Yeah! 93 00:07:31,961 --> 00:07:34,061 Here he comes! Here he comes! 94 00:07:34,061 --> 00:07:35,761 Frankenstein! 95 00:07:35,861 --> 00:07:40,661 Frankenstein the legend! Frankenstein the indestructible! 96 00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:44,261 Sole survivor of the titanic pileup of '95. 97 00:07:44,361 --> 00:07:47,561 Only two-time winner of the Transcontinental Road Race. 98 00:07:47,561 --> 00:07:49,661 Frankenstein - 99 00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:53,960 ripped up, wiped out, battered, shattered, creamed and reamed! 100 00:07:54,060 --> 00:07:56,360 A dancer on the brink of death. 101 00:07:56,460 --> 00:08:01,360 Frankenstein, who lost a leg in '98, an arm in '99. 102 00:08:01,460 --> 00:08:06,960 With half a face and half a chest and all the guts in the world, he's back! 103 00:08:07,060 --> 00:08:11,960 God only knows what he looks like under that mask, but he is back. 104 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:17,260 In the name of Mr. President, America loves you, Frankenstein. 105 00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:31,359 You will regret that, Joe. 106 00:08:36,459 --> 00:08:37,859 Stay tuned, racing fans. 107 00:08:37,859 --> 00:08:43,759 T- video satellite will bring every mile of thrills and spills into your living room. 108 00:08:43,759 --> 00:08:48,258 All five cars are in starting position here at New York Memorial Raceway, 109 00:08:48,258 --> 00:08:50,158 ready to roll. 110 00:08:50,258 --> 00:08:55,558 Now we take you to the Summer Palace. And Mr. President. 111 00:09:09,658 --> 00:09:11,458 My children, 112 00:09:11,458 --> 00:09:14,857 whom I love so dearly, 113 00:09:14,857 --> 00:09:17,057 it has been my duty 114 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:20,057 in the long and difficult years 115 00:09:20,157 --> 00:09:23,457 since the world crash of '79 116 00:09:23,557 --> 00:09:27,257 to serve you as best I could. 117 00:09:27,357 --> 00:09:32,057 Never before in history have the masses forgone all comfort 118 00:09:32,057 --> 00:09:34,757 so that the spirit of genius might thrive 119 00:09:34,857 --> 00:09:39,556 and seek the golden key to a new time of plenty 120 00:09:39,656 --> 00:09:42,956 in the fertile field of minority privilege. 121 00:09:43,056 --> 00:09:47,956 And now. my children. The drivers are ready. The world is waiting. 122 00:09:47,956 --> 00:09:52,256 Once more, I give you what you want. 123 00:10:04,356 --> 00:10:08,755 Good morning, Americans. Once again the race is under way, 124 00:10:08,855 --> 00:10:11,955 with 12-hour pit stops scheduled at St Louis 125 00:10:12,055 --> 00:10:16,155 and Albuquerque, home of the American Indian Museum. 126 00:10:16,255 --> 00:10:20,555 At this very moment the cars are howling through the streets of Manhattan, 127 00:10:20,655 --> 00:10:24,055 but no points have been scored as yet. 128 00:10:24,155 --> 00:10:26,555 Take it away. Junior Bruce. 129 00:10:26,555 --> 00:10:28,655 They're at the Lincoln Tunnel. 130 00:10:28,755 --> 00:10:31,754 With Frankenstein and Joe running neck and neck. 131 00:10:31,754 --> 00:10:36,054 Then it's the Lion. Driven by... Passed by Calamity Jane in the Bull. 132 00:10:36,154 --> 00:10:38,254 Moving into third place. 133 00:11:42,352 --> 00:11:44,652 All right, and hey, hey, hey! 134 00:11:44,752 --> 00:11:49,452 The cars have split up, the drivers taking off on their favorite routes. 135 00:11:49,552 --> 00:11:52,351 Frankenstein's still out in front. Headed due west. 136 00:11:52,451 --> 00:11:56,251 With Nero the Hero on his tail hoping to pick up his leftovers. 137 00:11:56,351 --> 00:11:58,551 Calamity Jane's on a northwest tack. 138 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:02,151 Matilda's Buzz Bomb is trying to catch up with Machine Gun Joe. 139 00:12:02,251 --> 00:12:04,151 Now streaking southwest. 140 00:12:04,251 --> 00:12:06,451 Once again - Mr. President. 141 00:12:06,551 --> 00:12:09,951 I have made the United Provinces of America 142 00:12:10,051 --> 00:12:12,851 the greatest power in the known universe. 143 00:12:12,851 --> 00:12:15,251 I have also given you 144 00:12:15,351 --> 00:12:19,850 the most popular sporting event in the history of mankind - 145 00:12:19,950 --> 00:12:22,250 the Transcontinental Road Race. 146 00:12:22,350 --> 00:12:24,650 Which upholds the American tradition 147 00:12:24,750 --> 00:12:27,250 of no holds barred! 148 00:12:27,350 --> 00:12:30,650 "No holds barred." 149 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,950 That's how he got to be president. 150 00:12:32,950 --> 00:12:35,350 Hypocrite pig! What about our ultimatum? 151 00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:37,650 He's been laughing us off for 15 years. 152 00:12:37,750 --> 00:12:40,150 Passive resistance means nothing to him. 153 00:12:40,250 --> 00:12:42,350 Pick up that flag, young man. 154 00:12:42,350 --> 00:12:43,850 It's time for action. 155 00:12:43,950 --> 00:12:46,149 It is not a time for violence. 156 00:12:46,249 --> 00:12:48,549 Mrs. Paine, I love Annie as much as you do. 157 00:12:48,649 --> 00:12:53,449 But she's no match for Frankenstein, and we can't risk letting him get away. 158 00:12:53,549 --> 00:12:57,149 Frankenstein is the biggest target in the world and a friend of Mr. President. 159 00:12:57,249 --> 00:13:03,249 That, Lieutenant Fury, is exactly why they'll call off the race. To save his life. 160 00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:05,149 My granddaughter will succeed. 161 00:13:05,249 --> 00:13:07,349 Don't you ever take off that mask? 162 00:13:07,449 --> 00:13:10,649 No. Don't you know about my face? 163 00:13:10,749 --> 00:13:12,948 I've heard stories. 164 00:13:14,148 --> 00:13:16,448 Nobody's ever seen it, have they? 165 00:13:16,548 --> 00:13:18,748 Except my other navigators. 166 00:13:18,848 --> 00:13:22,048 And they're all dead. 167 00:13:22,048 --> 00:13:24,348 So they are. 168 00:13:26,648 --> 00:13:31,448 They say you lost most of your jaw in the crash of '92. 169 00:13:31,548 --> 00:13:34,448 And my right eye in '95, 170 00:13:34,448 --> 00:13:37,248 and my nose and my left eye in '97, 171 00:13:37,347 --> 00:13:39,647 and most of my cranium in '98. 172 00:13:39,747 --> 00:13:44,147 I'm held together with patches of plastic and steel plates. 173 00:13:44,247 --> 00:13:47,647 It's not a pretty sight. 174 00:13:47,647 --> 00:13:50,147 You wanna see? 175 00:13:50,147 --> 00:13:52,447 Why not? I've seen everything else. 176 00:13:52,447 --> 00:13:57,647 Remember, you're doing this on your own. I take no responsibility. 177 00:14:10,046 --> 00:14:13,846 What'd you expect? Another pretty face? 178 00:14:17,946 --> 00:14:21,246 - They really love you, Joe. - Yeah? 179 00:14:21,246 --> 00:14:25,346 Then how come they ain't down here on the road provin' it? 180 00:14:25,446 --> 00:14:29,246 Hey, you better make this left turn. You'll shave off about 2 miles that way. 181 00:14:29,346 --> 00:14:31,245 Yeah, all right. 182 00:14:51,045 --> 00:14:54,345 All right, all right and yes, siree! 183 00:14:54,345 --> 00:14:59,744 A clean hit! A perfect hit! And no pain for the target. 184 00:14:59,744 --> 00:15:02,044 Too bad the guy was only 38. 185 00:15:02,144 --> 00:15:05,444 Just two years older, he'd have been worth three times the points. 186 00:15:05,544 --> 00:15:07,644 But, for the second year in a row, 187 00:15:07,744 --> 00:15:12,344 Machine Gun Joe has splattered the scoreboard first. 188 00:15:12,444 --> 00:15:17,144 How'd you like that, huh? Get off on that one, Myra, baby? 189 00:15:18,544 --> 00:15:23,144 - What's the matter with this engine? - I don't know. Sounds fine to me. 190 00:15:23,144 --> 00:15:25,743 Amateurs. 191 00:15:25,743 --> 00:15:30,743 Get back there and retard the spark four... uh, three degrees. 192 00:16:12,942 --> 00:16:16,541 I'm glad to see you were able to find your way back. 193 00:16:21,341 --> 00:16:24,341 As the cars roar into Pennsylvania. The cradle of liberty. 194 00:16:24,741 --> 00:16:29,141 It seems apparent that our citizens are staying off the streets. 195 00:16:29,141 --> 00:16:32,241 Which may make scoring particularly difficult. 196 00:16:32,341 --> 00:16:34,841 Even with this year's rule changes. 197 00:16:34,841 --> 00:16:38,141 To recap those revisions - 198 00:16:38,141 --> 00:16:43,840 women are still worth 10 points more than men in all age brackets. 199 00:16:43,940 --> 00:16:47,540 But teenagers now rack up 40 points. 200 00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:49,940 And toddlers under 12 201 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,740 now rate a big 70 points. 202 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:58,940 The big score - anyone. Any sex. Over 75 years old 203 00:16:58,940 --> 00:17:02,440 has been upped to 100 points. 204 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:04,340 As always. 205 00:17:04,340 --> 00:17:09,340 How fast you move determines how long you live. 206 00:17:17,839 --> 00:17:19,639 Toro! 207 00:17:54,838 --> 00:17:58,238 A beautiful kill! A neat kill! 208 00:17:58,338 --> 00:18:01,438 No calamities for Jane today. No, sir. 209 00:18:01,538 --> 00:18:04,537 And you can bet she'll be getting both ears for that one. 210 00:18:17,837 --> 00:18:19,437 What is that? 211 00:18:19,537 --> 00:18:23,137 Euthanasia day at the geriatrics hospital. They do it every year. 212 00:18:23,237 --> 00:18:26,337 Here he comes! He's coming! 213 00:18:48,236 --> 00:18:52,936 Frankenstein scores! Frankenstein scores at last! 214 00:18:53,036 --> 00:18:55,236 But what kind of a score, boys and girls? 215 00:18:55,236 --> 00:19:00,935 Just 110 points out of a possible big 700. What do you think about that, Gracie? 216 00:19:01,035 --> 00:19:06,035 Well, those doctors - dear friends of mine - 217 00:19:06,135 --> 00:19:09,535 have been pretty smug all these years, setting up the old folks. 218 00:19:09,535 --> 00:19:12,835 Frankenstein must have decided it was their turn. 219 00:19:12,935 --> 00:19:16,735 Which only goes to show that even the fearsome Frankenstein 220 00:19:16,835 --> 00:19:22,134 has a 100% red-blooded American sense of humor. 221 00:19:22,734 --> 00:19:27,134 Annie saved those old people! And she'll deliver Frankenstein. 222 00:19:27,234 --> 00:19:31,834 Meanwhile, innocent people are being slaughtered on our highways. 223 00:19:31,934 --> 00:19:35,834 They're like Christians being thrown to the gladiators. 224 00:19:35,934 --> 00:19:39,034 But just remember, the Christians won. 225 00:19:39,134 --> 00:19:40,534 Did they, Mrs. Paine? 226 00:19:40,534 --> 00:19:45,334 I take it from your attire that your sabotage operations are being carried out, 227 00:19:45,334 --> 00:19:48,434 despite my wishes? 228 00:19:48,534 --> 00:19:53,633 Mrs. Paine, we're set to hit 'em with everything we've got. 229 00:19:53,733 --> 00:19:56,333 Then. In the name of humanity. 230 00:19:56,333 --> 00:19:59,733 Let Operation Anti-Race begin. 231 00:20:07,733 --> 00:20:10,733 How in hell are we supposed to score in this graveyard? 232 00:20:10,833 --> 00:20:13,533 You're the navigator. That's your problem. 233 00:20:13,633 --> 00:20:17,032 And think of something soon, or else you're gonna be out on your ass. 234 00:20:17,132 --> 00:20:20,032 It isn't my fault everyone scored before us. 235 00:20:20,132 --> 00:20:22,732 You should have hit that boy scout camp like I told you. 236 00:20:22,832 --> 00:20:25,532 I tried the god dammed boy scout camp. 237 00:20:25,632 --> 00:20:28,632 You know how fast those boy scouts move? 238 00:20:30,132 --> 00:20:32,532 Now, here's something more your speed. 239 00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:35,332 Gotta be at least 200 points. 240 00:20:35,332 --> 00:20:37,632 If they scatter, go for the baby and the mother. 241 00:20:39,232 --> 00:20:42,231 Come on! Quick! Quick! 242 00:20:43,431 --> 00:20:46,031 Go for the baby! The baby! 243 00:20:46,131 --> 00:20:49,231 That's it. Come get baby. 244 00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:53,231 Bye-bye, baby. Hello, 70 points. 245 00:20:57,531 --> 00:20:59,731 Hey! I'm off the air! 246 00:20:59,731 --> 00:21:02,831 Would you please take your places? 247 00:21:02,831 --> 00:21:05,331 Put Grace on with an interview, right now. 248 00:21:05,331 --> 00:21:09,930 Hello, ladies. Isn't this just the most exciting race in years? 249 00:21:10,030 --> 00:21:12,330 I certainly think so. 250 00:21:12,330 --> 00:21:15,030 And guess what - I have a surprise for you. 251 00:21:15,030 --> 00:21:21,430 Mrs. Rhonda Bainbridge, in person, on my show. 252 00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:26,130 The widow of Edward Bainbridge, whom, as we all know, 253 00:21:26,230 --> 00:21:31,030 was "Machine Gun" Joe Viterbo's first score. 254 00:21:31,130 --> 00:21:35,929 Welcome to my home. And may I call you Rhonda? 255 00:21:36,029 --> 00:21:37,729 Please do, Mrs. Pander. 256 00:21:37,829 --> 00:21:41,429 - Are we about ready here? - Yeah, just about. 257 00:21:41,529 --> 00:21:44,329 Listen, we have to go right away. 258 00:21:46,229 --> 00:21:49,829 As the widow of the race's first score. 259 00:21:49,929 --> 00:21:55,729 You have won a high-style two-room apartment in Acapulco! 260 00:21:55,829 --> 00:21:58,229 Start the jam! 261 00:22:11,328 --> 00:22:14,428 And next year you will be watching the race 262 00:22:14,528 --> 00:22:20,028 on a 50-inch three-dimensional octaphonic T-video set... 263 00:22:20,128 --> 00:22:22,928 Fellow oppressed Americans. 264 00:22:23,028 --> 00:22:26,928 The execution of the barbarian killer Nero the Hero 265 00:22:27,028 --> 00:22:29,527 is the people's first stroke 266 00:22:29,527 --> 00:22:35,627 against the evil and corrupt regime of Mr. President. 267 00:22:35,627 --> 00:22:37,827 I am Thomasina Paine, 268 00:22:37,927 --> 00:22:41,627 founder and commander of the army of the resistance. 269 00:22:41,727 --> 00:22:47,927 For 20 years. Americans have been told when to eat and when to sleep. 270 00:22:48,027 --> 00:22:51,227 When to love and when to hate. 271 00:22:51,627 --> 00:22:56,226 The age of obedience is over. 272 00:22:56,326 --> 00:23:02,226 In the names of George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Harry Truman, 273 00:23:02,726 --> 00:23:07,026 I call upon you to stand up for your inalienable rights. 274 00:23:07,626 --> 00:23:12,626 We declare war upon the Bipartisan Party, on Mr. President, 275 00:23:12,726 --> 00:23:18,426 and on that most inhuman desecration of life and liberty, 276 00:23:18,426 --> 00:23:22,025 the Transcontinental Road Rape. 277 00:23:22,125 --> 00:23:23,125 I thank you. 278 00:23:25,125 --> 00:23:28,825 - What the hell was that? - I have no information. 279 00:23:28,925 --> 00:23:32,125 - Is this race still on? - I have no information. 280 00:23:32,225 --> 00:23:34,125 - What do you think? - About what? 281 00:23:34,225 --> 00:23:36,425 About that speech. 282 00:23:36,525 --> 00:23:38,225 Adds spice to the race. 283 00:23:38,325 --> 00:23:41,125 "Spice"? They've killed Nero. 284 00:23:41,225 --> 00:23:43,025 That would have got more points for me. 285 00:23:43,025 --> 00:23:44,925 Don't you understand? 286 00:23:45,025 --> 00:23:48,624 They've declared war on the race and on you. Aren't you worried? 287 00:23:48,724 --> 00:23:52,024 The only thing that worries me is "Machine Gun" Joe Viterbo. 288 00:23:52,124 --> 00:23:54,524 Is winning all you care about? 289 00:23:54,524 --> 00:23:57,924 Yes. It's the only standard of excellence left. 290 00:24:02,124 --> 00:24:05,224 - Come on. Here they come. - It's not finished. 291 00:24:05,324 --> 00:24:07,324 Come on! 292 00:24:10,424 --> 00:24:12,924 Look at that stupid hole right in the middle. 293 00:24:13,024 --> 00:24:15,523 They won't get through there. 294 00:24:19,623 --> 00:24:20,923 Blitzkrieg! 295 00:24:21,023 --> 00:24:25,023 As the drivers converge from their routes and head for the first pit stop in St. Louis. 296 00:24:25,123 --> 00:24:28,123 Machine Gun Joe is still leading the field. 297 00:24:28,123 --> 00:24:31,323 With Frankenstein second. Calamity Jane third. 298 00:24:31,323 --> 00:24:33,523 Leaving Matilda the Hun in fourth position 299 00:24:33,623 --> 00:24:36,923 and Calamity Jane facing another calamity! 300 00:24:36,923 --> 00:24:41,122 Right now. Frankenstein's score points put him just ahead of Joe... 301 00:24:41,222 --> 00:24:46,222 Hey! Get off the rope. Jesus Chrysler, get off the rope! 302 00:24:48,322 --> 00:24:51,522 Hey, dummy, come on over and hold the ladder. 303 00:24:59,522 --> 00:25:01,722 This aggravates me. 304 00:25:01,722 --> 00:25:04,422 Where's the one that says "Welcome Joe Viterbo"? 305 00:25:04,422 --> 00:25:09,121 Score the son of a bitch, Joe. You need every point you can get. 306 00:25:12,521 --> 00:25:14,721 I only mashed him slightly. 307 00:25:14,821 --> 00:25:17,621 - Put him out of his misery, Joe. - Is that fair? 308 00:25:17,721 --> 00:25:20,121 - Yeah! - Hey. Should I let him go? 309 00:25:22,021 --> 00:25:24,221 Fair's always right. 310 00:26:12,619 --> 00:26:14,219 One thing before we begin. 311 00:26:14,219 --> 00:26:18,419 The government would like it if nobody said anything about Nero. Understand? 312 00:26:18,519 --> 00:26:21,619 He hit a tree, and that's it. Got it? 313 00:26:21,719 --> 00:26:24,219 - We don't wanna depress anybody by... - Hey, hey. 314 00:26:24,319 --> 00:26:27,818 Everybody knows he was blown up by the resistance, you schmuck. 315 00:26:27,918 --> 00:26:29,418 It was on television. 316 00:26:29,418 --> 00:26:34,318 If you wanna drive again next year, Mr. Viterbo, keep those opinions to yourself. 317 00:26:34,318 --> 00:26:35,518 OK. Go ahead. 318 00:26:35,618 --> 00:26:37,918 This is Grace Pander from St Louis, 319 00:26:38,018 --> 00:26:41,518 where Matilda - a dear friend of mine - 320 00:26:41,618 --> 00:26:44,718 is receiving a well-deserved rub down. 321 00:26:44,818 --> 00:26:46,518 Tell me, Tilly, darling, 322 00:26:46,518 --> 00:26:49,818 what can we expect from you when the cars go back on the road? 323 00:26:49,918 --> 00:26:52,118 You can expect a victory... 324 00:26:52,218 --> 00:26:54,417 by a member of the master race. 325 00:26:54,517 --> 00:26:56,017 A woman. 326 00:26:56,117 --> 00:26:59,117 Tilly, darling, that certainly is showing a lot of confidence 327 00:26:59,217 --> 00:27:01,917 for someone who's lying fourth out of four. 328 00:27:02,017 --> 00:27:04,417 She doesn't mind, as long as she's lying somewhere. 329 00:27:04,517 --> 00:27:07,317 When I'm through with you, you're gonna be lying in state. 330 00:27:07,417 --> 00:27:10,217 If anybody is going to boot hill, it's you and your Bizz Bang. 331 00:27:10,317 --> 00:27:11,717 - Buzz Bomb. - Shut up. 332 00:27:11,717 --> 00:27:14,417 You just leave my navigator alone. 333 00:27:14,517 --> 00:27:18,217 Girls, girls, girls. Remember you're on TV-land. 334 00:27:18,317 --> 00:27:20,716 Pete, how do you like being a navigator? 335 00:27:20,816 --> 00:27:26,816 Well, Junior, I'd like it more if I was in the driver's seat. 336 00:27:26,816 --> 00:27:28,916 You'll get what's coming to you on the road. 337 00:27:29,016 --> 00:27:30,016 Oh, yeah? 338 00:27:30,116 --> 00:27:34,316 What's coming to me is the final solution to the cowgirl problem. 339 00:27:34,316 --> 00:27:37,116 Frankenstein, when are you gonna make your move? 340 00:27:37,216 --> 00:27:39,716 Are you gonna take off-road chances for scores, 341 00:27:39,816 --> 00:27:43,916 or are you driving all-out to be first into New L.A.? 342 00:27:44,016 --> 00:27:46,415 It's not about winning, it's how you play the game. 343 00:27:46,415 --> 00:27:49,115 Frankenstein - a dear friend of mine. 344 00:27:49,215 --> 00:27:54,215 Frankenstein, tell me how it feels when, at that electric instant, at 200 mph, 345 00:27:54,215 --> 00:27:58,015 life and death coexist at the moment of scoring. 346 00:27:58,115 --> 00:28:01,915 If you stand in the middle of Route 66 tomorrow morning at eight o'clock, 347 00:28:01,915 --> 00:28:04,415 you can answer that question for yourself. 348 00:28:17,714 --> 00:28:21,114 What are you doing? Get away from me. Joe will go nuts! 349 00:28:21,214 --> 00:28:26,214 Just tell him I was whispering sweet nothings in your ear. 350 00:28:32,414 --> 00:28:35,014 Well, Myra, what did Frankenstein have to say to you? 351 00:28:35,114 --> 00:28:37,214 H- h-h-he didn't say anything. He... 352 00:28:37,314 --> 00:28:38,714 - What'd he say? - Nothing... 353 00:28:38,714 --> 00:28:40,613 - What'd he say?! - Nothing! 354 00:28:40,613 --> 00:28:43,413 I'm not playing games, Myra. I wanna know what he said. 355 00:28:43,513 --> 00:28:48,113 He said there was nothing sweet in my ear. 356 00:28:48,213 --> 00:28:49,813 "In my ear." 357 00:29:01,513 --> 00:29:04,413 What do you want? 358 00:29:04,513 --> 00:29:07,112 My name is Laurie, Mr. Frankenstein. 359 00:29:07,212 --> 00:29:10,612 I'm head of Chapter Seven, St Louis Lovers of Frankenstein. 360 00:29:10,712 --> 00:29:15,612 - I was chosen from over 100 girls... - To offer me your body? Is that it? 361 00:29:15,712 --> 00:29:18,912 You want me because I drive the Monster and wear this costume. 362 00:29:19,012 --> 00:29:23,212 No, Mr. Frankenstein. That wouldn't be fair to your navigator. 363 00:29:23,212 --> 00:29:26,212 It's taken her years of hard work to earn that privilege. 364 00:29:26,212 --> 00:29:29,512 Besides, we understand your feelings. 365 00:29:30,312 --> 00:29:34,011 What do you know of my feelings? 366 00:29:34,111 --> 00:29:36,611 Everything. Like... 367 00:29:36,711 --> 00:29:39,811 Like why you're afraid of falling in love. 368 00:29:39,911 --> 00:29:43,111 And why winning the race means everything to you. 369 00:29:43,211 --> 00:29:45,411 How do you know these things? 370 00:29:45,511 --> 00:29:48,111 From my dreams, partly. 371 00:29:48,211 --> 00:29:50,911 And from letters I get from other fans. 372 00:29:51,011 --> 00:29:54,111 Plus the club subscribes to an astrology service. 373 00:29:54,211 --> 00:29:57,711 Well, if you're not here to offer me your body, what do you want? 374 00:29:57,811 --> 00:30:02,710 I wanted to meet you, Mr. Frankenstein. I wanted you to know who I am. 375 00:30:02,710 --> 00:30:05,610 So it would have meaning. 376 00:30:05,710 --> 00:30:07,710 I don't understand. 377 00:30:07,810 --> 00:30:09,210 So what would have meaning? 378 00:30:09,210 --> 00:30:13,710 We love you, Mr. Frankenstein. I know just saying it doesn't mean much. 379 00:30:13,810 --> 00:30:16,810 Why do you love me? Because I kill people? 380 00:30:16,910 --> 00:30:21,510 Scoring isn't killing, Mr. Frankenstein. It's part of the race. 381 00:30:21,510 --> 00:30:26,909 You're a national hero, and we want you to know we're with you 100%. 382 00:30:27,809 --> 00:30:30,209 Good night, Mr. Frankenstein. 383 00:30:42,609 --> 00:30:44,809 I didn't hear you come in. 384 00:30:44,909 --> 00:30:48,709 Who were you expecting? Machine Gun Joe? 385 00:30:48,709 --> 00:30:52,208 I thought I could trust you. 386 00:30:52,308 --> 00:30:57,108 You really just don't wanna give me a chance, do you? 387 00:30:57,208 --> 00:31:00,108 I was trying to help you. 388 00:31:00,208 --> 00:31:03,608 I'm... sorry. 389 00:31:03,608 --> 00:31:05,608 You're what? 390 00:31:07,808 --> 00:31:09,808 Sorry. 391 00:31:11,208 --> 00:31:14,608 He wanted to know our route, so I told him to go down 54 392 00:31:14,608 --> 00:31:17,508 through the Cimarron Valley. 393 00:31:18,607 --> 00:31:23,407 54 is a dead end. Leads nowhere. 394 00:31:23,507 --> 00:31:28,807 That's right. And if Joe takes it, he's sunk. 395 00:31:28,907 --> 00:31:32,907 The only way Joe will take that road is if he sees us do it first. 396 00:31:32,907 --> 00:31:35,007 Or if he's ahead of us. 397 00:31:36,807 --> 00:31:40,907 - Is that the arm that came off in '98? - Mm-hm. 398 00:31:41,007 --> 00:31:43,107 And... 399 00:31:43,207 --> 00:31:48,106 which one of those obviously perfect legs was it that came off in '99? 400 00:31:48,706 --> 00:31:49,806 The right. 401 00:31:49,806 --> 00:31:54,406 And the left one was just broken in six places and burned down to the bone. 402 00:31:54,506 --> 00:31:56,906 - Is that right? - Mm-hm. 403 00:31:57,906 --> 00:32:00,706 It's a miracle you can still walk. 404 00:32:03,006 --> 00:32:06,406 Do you like to dance? 405 00:33:00,404 --> 00:33:04,703 Those Swiss mechanics sure did a good job on you. 406 00:33:04,703 --> 00:33:09,703 What else did they replace? 407 00:33:09,703 --> 00:33:11,803 Wait a minute... 408 00:33:11,803 --> 00:33:14,203 and I'll show you. 409 00:33:22,103 --> 00:33:27,003 O Mr. President, bless thy children and make them strong. 410 00:33:27,103 --> 00:33:31,902 Bless thy daughters Matilda and Jane, and thy son Joe. 411 00:33:32,002 --> 00:33:36,802 And bless thy beloved son, the immortal Frankenstein, 412 00:33:36,802 --> 00:33:40,302 who has given so much pleasure to so many. 413 00:33:40,402 --> 00:33:44,402 The hell with Frankenstein. What about Joe Viterbo? 414 00:33:53,302 --> 00:33:55,502 The flag is down and they're away, 415 00:33:55,502 --> 00:33:58,201 with Machine Gun Joe blasting into the lead 416 00:33:58,301 --> 00:34:02,801 on this second lap of the great Transcontinental Road Race. 417 00:34:02,901 --> 00:34:06,201 Frankenstein is making a left turn, splitting early from the pack. 418 00:34:06,301 --> 00:34:08,601 Look out, all you folks just south of here. 419 00:34:08,701 --> 00:34:11,601 Gee, Joe, there's nobody even close behind us. 420 00:34:11,601 --> 00:34:12,501 Shh. 421 00:34:12,501 --> 00:34:14,501 Where's he going? What's he doing? 422 00:34:14,601 --> 00:34:18,101 - Hey, where are we going? - I dropped my glove. 423 00:34:19,501 --> 00:34:23,001 Let not the ruin of thy robes destruct the tires... 424 00:34:23,900 --> 00:34:25,900 Jesus Chrysler! 425 00:34:26,900 --> 00:34:29,600 Ladies and gentlemen, by a bizarre accident 426 00:34:29,700 --> 00:34:32,700 Frankenstein has killed our cherished colleague 427 00:34:32,700 --> 00:34:34,500 the deacon of the Bipartisan Party. 428 00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:37,300 I think you did that on purpose. 429 00:34:37,300 --> 00:34:40,500 Have to give the fans something to talk about. 430 00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:43,100 It's my obligation as a national hero. 431 00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:47,200 Frankenstein's score is now... Does that score count, Harold? 432 00:34:47,300 --> 00:34:52,699 An interesting point, Junior, and one that may set a significant precedent. 433 00:34:52,699 --> 00:34:55,499 Can a racer score a race official? 434 00:34:55,499 --> 00:34:58,599 Ooh, and after all those nice things he said about him. 435 00:34:58,599 --> 00:35:03,699 It don't matter. It don't count. You can't score religious personalities. 436 00:35:03,799 --> 00:35:09,899 The word "deacon" has been handed down to us from the ancient... the, uh... 437 00:35:09,899 --> 00:35:13,599 Frankenstein's score has been approved for 50 points. 438 00:35:13,699 --> 00:35:18,498 The confirmation has just been handed to me. You know what that means, Junior? 439 00:35:18,598 --> 00:35:23,198 That means that the race officials from coast to coast will be falling like flies. 440 00:35:23,298 --> 00:35:27,298 - Frankenstein! Agh! I hate him. I hate him. - Oh, sh... 441 00:35:28,398 --> 00:35:30,198 You're salivating. 442 00:36:13,796 --> 00:36:16,696 Oh, my... Why did she do that? 443 00:36:17,896 --> 00:36:19,896 To show me she loves me. 444 00:36:25,596 --> 00:36:28,196 Here they come. Let's get set. 445 00:36:40,395 --> 00:36:42,895 Chicken game. 446 00:36:42,995 --> 00:36:46,495 - Chicken in a basket. - Chicken in a casket. 447 00:36:55,195 --> 00:36:56,995 Oh, shit! 448 00:37:08,294 --> 00:37:10,694 Yeah, hey. Who got the last laugh now, huh? 449 00:37:18,294 --> 00:37:21,194 - The turnoff, it's coming up. - Should I take it? 450 00:37:21,294 --> 00:37:23,894 - Who gives a goddamn shit? - Should I? 451 00:37:23,894 --> 00:37:27,094 She says I should, so I should, right? Or should I? I don't know. 452 00:37:27,194 --> 00:37:30,393 I don't think you should. I think it's definitely a trick. 453 00:37:30,493 --> 00:37:33,893 I'll do it. I won't do it. I'd be a schmuck to do it. 454 00:37:36,293 --> 00:37:38,893 I did it and I'm no schmuck! 455 00:37:38,993 --> 00:37:42,293 - That's your story. - That's right. That's right. 456 00:37:42,393 --> 00:37:46,293 And I see you mess with Frankenstein again, I'm really gonna bust your eye. 457 00:37:46,393 --> 00:37:48,293 What do you mean, "really"? 458 00:37:57,092 --> 00:38:01,992 I have an almost unlimited score possibility, but it's pretty far down the road. 459 00:38:02,692 --> 00:38:05,092 District penitents' compound. 460 00:38:05,192 --> 00:38:09,192 All those old congressmen chained up. They'd be like sitting ducks. 461 00:38:09,292 --> 00:38:13,192 Yeah, and all I gotta do is drive through a cyclone fence. Uh-uh. 462 00:38:13,292 --> 00:38:17,192 Look, the farther west we go, the fewer targets there'll be. 463 00:38:17,292 --> 00:38:18,692 Hey, come on. 464 00:38:18,792 --> 00:38:22,192 Joe's already on his way to a dead end, and the other two... 465 00:38:25,291 --> 00:38:27,291 OK. 466 00:38:29,291 --> 00:38:31,991 Take the next right. 467 00:38:32,491 --> 00:38:36,591 Now, as soon as the car gets within range, I shall give the signal. 468 00:38:36,691 --> 00:38:41,091 We'll have just under a minute after they reach the turnoff. Lieutenant Fury... 469 00:38:41,091 --> 00:38:44,991 Lieutenant Fury has nothing whatever to do with this. 470 00:38:45,091 --> 00:38:47,691 I want none of his surprises here. 471 00:38:47,791 --> 00:38:51,090 I could stand for a surprise. Like if your Frankenstein didn't show up. 472 00:38:51,090 --> 00:38:53,590 Don't worry. He'll show. 473 00:38:56,790 --> 00:38:59,590 What's our estimated time of arrival in Albuquerque? 474 00:38:59,690 --> 00:39:03,590 Well, I'm not sure. I mean, this detour is gonna make a difference. 475 00:39:03,590 --> 00:39:05,690 Haven't you calculated our time of arrival? 476 00:39:05,790 --> 00:39:08,390 I did, but I couldn't take into consideration... 477 00:39:08,490 --> 00:39:12,290 - Take what into consideration? - Frankenstein! Stop the car! 478 00:39:12,390 --> 00:39:14,490 Hold on. 479 00:39:16,989 --> 00:39:20,589 - What the hell? - Don't stop now. What are you doing? 480 00:39:20,689 --> 00:39:22,789 What are they doing? 481 00:39:26,489 --> 00:39:28,789 Sorry, brother. 482 00:39:39,389 --> 00:39:43,188 If that's the best the resistance can do, we got nothing to worry about. 483 00:39:43,288 --> 00:39:44,588 I guess not. 484 00:39:44,688 --> 00:39:46,388 One thing I can't figure out 485 00:39:46,488 --> 00:39:49,988 is why would they bother to dress that guy up to look like me? 486 00:39:50,088 --> 00:39:51,788 Maybe he was a fan. 487 00:39:55,488 --> 00:40:01,388 Who built this stinkin' road? If I ever get my hands on him, I'll rip his heart out. 488 00:40:01,488 --> 00:40:04,788 I mean it! I'm sick of this race and I'm sick of you! 489 00:40:09,887 --> 00:40:13,587 I guess it must have been Joe that set us up for that ambush, don't you think? 490 00:40:13,687 --> 00:40:16,687 Got in touch with those guys and told them where we were going? 491 00:40:16,687 --> 00:40:19,187 I guess it might have been. 492 00:40:19,287 --> 00:40:22,687 But then how the hell did Joe know we were gonna take a detour? 493 00:40:22,787 --> 00:40:25,787 Maybe it was those guys on the pit crew in St. Louis. 494 00:40:25,787 --> 00:40:29,087 Took your book out of the car while you were getting massaged. 495 00:40:29,087 --> 00:40:31,787 I didn't leave my book in the car. 496 00:40:31,787 --> 00:40:33,787 - You didn't, huh? - No. 497 00:40:35,186 --> 00:40:37,986 Well, then, I guess it couldn't have been them. 498 00:40:38,086 --> 00:40:41,286 - Who do you think it was? - I have no idea. 499 00:40:41,286 --> 00:40:43,286 Why do you care? They didn't get you. 500 00:40:43,386 --> 00:40:48,286 Us. They didn't get us. We're a team, remember? 501 00:40:58,186 --> 00:41:02,485 Come on over to my side. You're gonna drive for a while. 502 00:41:02,585 --> 00:41:04,385 Why? I'm not trained as a driver. 503 00:41:04,485 --> 00:41:07,885 Never mind why. Just do as I tell you. 504 00:41:17,085 --> 00:41:19,885 I'm counting on you to make a nice big score for us. 505 00:41:19,985 --> 00:41:22,885 Sure. 506 00:41:22,885 --> 00:41:25,085 Anything special in mind? 507 00:41:25,185 --> 00:41:27,485 Something'll turn up. 508 00:41:27,585 --> 00:41:29,284 I'm sure that it will. 509 00:41:44,384 --> 00:41:47,284 Jesus H Christ! I'll kill that broad! 510 00:41:47,384 --> 00:41:50,484 - What did I do? - Shut your face. 511 00:41:51,584 --> 00:41:54,084 Cornball, what's the fastest way through here? 512 00:41:54,084 --> 00:41:58,483 Well, um... actually, the only way we do it is we get a bulldozer 513 00:41:58,483 --> 00:42:00,983 and we trim this edge down here and we drive through. 514 00:42:01,083 --> 00:42:03,583 No, what's the best way between here and Albuquerque? 515 00:42:03,683 --> 00:42:06,883 - You got to go back to the main highway. - I'll lose 45 minutes! 516 00:42:06,983 --> 00:42:10,683 I've seen you before. I'm one of your greatest fans, you know that? 517 00:42:10,783 --> 00:42:15,383 I follow all of the races. I got pictures of you all over the outhouse. 518 00:42:15,483 --> 00:42:18,683 I named my favorite dog after you, Mr. Frankenstein. I did. 519 00:42:18,683 --> 00:42:22,782 Lousy stinkin' dirt ball. You got two seconds to live. 520 00:43:03,181 --> 00:43:06,181 Come on, Pete, honey. You gonna take all day with that? 521 00:43:06,281 --> 00:43:09,881 I wanna get on the road, make a few more scores. My blood lust is fading. 522 00:43:09,881 --> 00:43:13,981 Almost finished, Calamity, sweetheart. We'll be back on the road in no time, 523 00:43:14,081 --> 00:43:16,380 then we'll cream that Nazi's ass for her. 524 00:43:16,380 --> 00:43:17,780 What'd you say? I... 525 00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:19,380 Blitzkrieg! 526 00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:24,480 You lousy bitch! I'll kill you for that! 527 00:43:24,580 --> 00:43:28,180 Nobody scores my navigator and gets away with it. 528 00:43:45,279 --> 00:43:46,279 Uh-oh. 529 00:43:46,379 --> 00:43:49,279 Here she comes. And boy, is she pissed. 530 00:43:49,379 --> 00:43:52,479 What does she expect? You leave your navigator lying around, 531 00:43:52,579 --> 00:43:55,779 naturally somebody's gonna run over him. 532 00:44:37,577 --> 00:44:40,577 She's gaining on us, momma, and she's got murder on her mind. 533 00:44:40,677 --> 00:44:44,177 Schnell. Meine kleine Buzz Bomb. 534 00:45:13,376 --> 00:45:16,976 - That's good. - All right, on three. One, two, three. 535 00:45:18,776 --> 00:45:21,276 Support it. Easy. Steady as she goes. 536 00:45:33,975 --> 00:45:35,475 Here they come! 537 00:45:40,375 --> 00:45:43,275 A detour. I really needed that right now. 538 00:46:12,774 --> 00:46:14,474 Holy shit. 539 00:46:14,574 --> 00:46:18,774 A special bulletin. There's been an accident. An explosion. 540 00:46:18,874 --> 00:46:23,273 It looks like Matilda has been blown totally... 541 00:46:26,273 --> 00:46:32,173 Correction. Matilda has made an impressive score. Stand by. 542 00:46:36,373 --> 00:46:41,373 Don't you wanna take over now? I'm afraid I'm making us lose an awful lot of time. 543 00:46:41,473 --> 00:46:44,673 You're doing just fine. 544 00:46:54,072 --> 00:46:57,572 - Looks like an easy score. - Yeah. Yeah, it does. 545 00:46:57,672 --> 00:46:59,672 It's always best to start small. 546 00:47:08,972 --> 00:47:12,372 - I missed him. - It takes some practice. 547 00:47:12,472 --> 00:47:16,771 - Before it comes easy? - It never comes easy. 548 00:47:16,871 --> 00:47:19,471 Keep your eyes on the road. 549 00:47:21,171 --> 00:47:25,171 How far is it to the penitents' compound? 550 00:47:25,271 --> 00:47:27,971 Oh, maybe 20 miles. 551 00:47:30,171 --> 00:47:32,571 Stop the car. 552 00:47:40,670 --> 00:47:42,370 Get out. 553 00:47:42,470 --> 00:47:44,470 Out. 554 00:47:50,770 --> 00:47:52,570 Come to the other side. 555 00:47:52,570 --> 00:47:54,770 Around the front. 556 00:48:07,469 --> 00:48:10,369 Where is the penitents' compound? 557 00:48:12,169 --> 00:48:14,369 It's in Japan. 558 00:48:18,169 --> 00:48:19,569 Get in. 559 00:48:28,969 --> 00:48:33,768 I could just push you out of this car and pick up a quick 30 points. 560 00:48:33,868 --> 00:48:36,368 Who are you? Who are you working for? 561 00:48:36,368 --> 00:48:39,168 I'm Thomasina Paine's granddaughter. 562 00:48:40,568 --> 00:48:42,868 I'm honored. 563 00:48:44,068 --> 00:48:48,068 So you were gonna capture me and replace me with that goon back there. 564 00:48:48,168 --> 00:48:50,568 What for? 565 00:48:50,568 --> 00:48:54,668 He was going to deliver our ultimatum to Mr. President. 566 00:48:54,768 --> 00:48:58,668 Your life in exchange for the permanent abolition of the race. 567 00:49:28,666 --> 00:49:32,866 She was a great. Dear friend of mine. 568 00:49:32,966 --> 00:49:38,166 And I shall remember her forever. Howling down that freeway in the sky. 569 00:49:38,266 --> 00:49:41,566 Knocking over the angels. 570 00:49:42,666 --> 00:49:48,666 The valiant Hun's demise was in fact caused by enemies of the people. 571 00:49:48,766 --> 00:49:54,265 There will be a special broadcast by Mr. President at 1900 hours. 572 00:49:54,265 --> 00:50:00,865 Stay tuned to find out how you can help Mr. President preserve our way of life... 573 00:50:00,965 --> 00:50:03,465 Calamity, turn off the television. 574 00:50:03,565 --> 00:50:06,565 Hey, you guys wanna stop playing that song, please? 575 00:50:06,665 --> 00:50:11,765 Look, this is a race, a sporting event, not a daredevil stunt. I want some protection. 576 00:50:11,765 --> 00:50:14,565 You should have given us an escort after Nero got it. 577 00:50:14,665 --> 00:50:17,065 Joe would score the escort, wouldn't you, baby? 578 00:50:17,165 --> 00:50:21,364 You wanna zip your lip, Myra? Huh? Now, are you going to cover me or not? 579 00:50:21,364 --> 00:50:25,564 Look, Mr. Viterbo, if you're afraid to go on with the race, why don't you quit? 580 00:50:25,664 --> 00:50:27,164 You're calling me a turkey? 581 00:50:27,264 --> 00:50:30,264 If you ask me, you're all making excuses for poor driving. 582 00:50:30,264 --> 00:50:34,664 Poor driving?! Listen, honey. Matilda the Hun was a champion driver. 583 00:50:34,664 --> 00:50:37,764 Nobody could've scored my navigator and gotten away with it. 584 00:50:37,764 --> 00:50:39,764 And he's talking about poor driving! 585 00:50:39,764 --> 00:50:43,864 I'd like to see you do it. I've been driving for ten years. Nobody talks to me like this. 586 00:50:43,964 --> 00:50:46,363 - This stinks. - It's all on account of the rebels. 587 00:50:46,463 --> 00:50:51,263 Who mentioned anything about rebels? There are no rebels. Understand? 588 00:50:51,263 --> 00:50:54,263 Then who was that old lady on the television? 589 00:50:54,363 --> 00:50:56,463 Thomasina Paine. She's a harmless lunatic. 590 00:50:56,563 --> 00:51:01,563 Would you please come outside, sir? We like to ask you a few questions. 591 00:51:03,363 --> 00:51:06,163 - Come on, Annie. - Alone, if you don't mind. 592 00:51:06,263 --> 00:51:10,863 Mr. President will explain those accidents during his address to the nation. 593 00:51:10,963 --> 00:51:13,762 - How did she jam the networks? - And bump off our friends? 594 00:51:13,862 --> 00:51:17,762 She didn't bump off anybody. She walked into a television station waving a gun, 595 00:51:17,862 --> 00:51:21,962 forced them to put her on the air. We've taken her back to the asylum. That's it. 596 00:51:22,062 --> 00:51:24,662 - I got just two words to say about that. - Oh? 597 00:51:24,762 --> 00:51:26,262 Bull shit! 598 00:51:26,262 --> 00:51:28,062 Excuse me. 599 00:51:28,962 --> 00:51:31,662 Hey! I told you to stop playing that song! 600 00:51:32,462 --> 00:51:37,262 You forget, Joe, that I'm a representative of Mr. President's government. 601 00:51:37,362 --> 00:51:40,261 I happen to hold the power of life and death. 602 00:51:40,361 --> 00:51:43,561 Yeah? Well, I happen to hold the clam sauce. 603 00:51:44,361 --> 00:51:48,961 Look out, Viterbo. You may be the second biggest clown in this circus, 604 00:51:48,961 --> 00:51:51,761 but if I want you dead, you're dead. 605 00:51:51,861 --> 00:51:54,561 - Second biggest? - Sit down and eat! 606 00:51:59,961 --> 00:52:02,161 I told you to stop playing that music! 607 00:52:02,961 --> 00:52:06,660 Were they armed, or did they expect the fire to be enough to stop you? 608 00:52:06,660 --> 00:52:11,960 I don't know what they expected. We just ran through it all and kept going. 609 00:52:12,060 --> 00:52:14,060 One more question, Mr. Frankenstein. 610 00:52:15,860 --> 00:52:18,660 Did you take that particular road on your own initiative, 611 00:52:18,660 --> 00:52:21,360 or on the advice of your navigator? 612 00:52:23,460 --> 00:52:25,260 On my own initiative. 613 00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:28,760 Thank you, Mr. Frankenstein. That will be all. 614 00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:35,059 There has been a lot of talk about American rebels. 615 00:52:35,059 --> 00:52:37,059 We have positive proof 616 00:52:37,159 --> 00:52:40,459 that it was none other than the treacherous French 617 00:52:40,459 --> 00:52:44,059 who have been sabotaging our great race. 618 00:52:44,159 --> 00:52:48,359 Just as they and their stinking European allies 619 00:52:48,359 --> 00:52:53,659 have undermined and destroyed our great national economy. 620 00:52:53,759 --> 00:52:56,159 It is no coincidence. My dear children. 621 00:52:56,159 --> 00:53:00,458 That the word "sabotage" was invented by the French. 622 00:53:00,558 --> 00:53:03,058 - Where's Annie? - I don't know. 623 00:53:03,058 --> 00:53:04,658 Hey, did you hear the news? 624 00:53:04,758 --> 00:53:09,158 Mr. President said it was the French who knocked off Nero and Matilda. 625 00:53:09,258 --> 00:53:11,858 Watch out for the cr�pe suzettes. 626 00:53:11,858 --> 00:53:15,458 ..."Machine Gun" Joe Viterbo and Frankenstein. 627 00:53:15,558 --> 00:53:21,058 As they begin the last lap of their long and difficult journey 628 00:53:21,158 --> 00:53:24,158 toward New Los Angeles. 629 00:53:28,257 --> 00:53:31,157 Drop your keys? 630 00:53:31,257 --> 00:53:33,957 I was just looking for something I lost. 631 00:53:34,057 --> 00:53:35,357 The race? 632 00:53:35,457 --> 00:53:37,657 Look, Joe... 633 00:53:37,757 --> 00:53:40,657 I threw you off course, OK? 634 00:53:40,757 --> 00:53:42,857 All's fair in love and war. 635 00:53:42,957 --> 00:53:46,857 I'm glad to hear you say that, Annie, because what we got goin' here 636 00:53:46,957 --> 00:53:49,057 definitely ain't love. 637 00:53:49,057 --> 00:53:52,056 Well, then, why don't we just forget about it? 638 00:53:52,756 --> 00:53:56,556 You know, Annie, it's too bad things ain't like they were in the old days, 639 00:53:56,556 --> 00:54:02,056 when we'd just take somebody in an alley and blow their brains out. You know? 640 00:54:02,156 --> 00:54:04,756 - Joe, please. - Go ahead and scream, Annie. 641 00:54:04,856 --> 00:54:08,756 - You're hurting me, Joe. - There's nobody to hear you. 642 00:54:08,856 --> 00:54:10,856 Huh? 643 00:54:13,956 --> 00:54:18,555 How does it feel to know you're gonna spend the rest of your life in pain? 644 00:54:18,555 --> 00:54:22,755 The rest of your life is about a minute and a half. 645 00:54:24,255 --> 00:54:29,255 Frankie. Glad you came. I caught your navigator screwin' around with the car, 646 00:54:29,355 --> 00:54:33,355 so I thought I'd come down and have a look at what was going on. 647 00:54:33,455 --> 00:54:35,055 Hey, come on, Frank... 648 00:55:56,752 --> 00:55:58,652 Upstairs. 649 00:55:58,752 --> 00:56:01,752 So much for a fair fight. 650 00:56:01,852 --> 00:56:06,051 Next chance I get, you're dead. 651 00:56:12,651 --> 00:56:18,051 What were you doing? Getting more secret instructions from the lunatic fringe? 652 00:56:22,551 --> 00:56:25,351 Why don't you just turn me in and get it over with? 653 00:56:25,451 --> 00:56:28,851 No need to. 654 00:56:28,951 --> 00:56:32,150 You've blown your cover. You're no threat to me. 655 00:56:32,150 --> 00:56:35,850 Anyway, you're not someone I would throw away. 656 00:56:35,850 --> 00:56:39,750 - I have a job to do. - Your job is a waste of time. 657 00:56:39,850 --> 00:56:42,050 The world doesn't wanna be saved. 658 00:56:42,150 --> 00:56:45,950 I'm giving you a chance to save one small part of it. 659 00:56:45,950 --> 00:56:48,150 Yourself. 660 00:56:48,150 --> 00:56:51,450 Who are you anyway? 661 00:56:51,450 --> 00:56:53,850 Nobody. 662 00:56:53,950 --> 00:56:56,849 I was brought up in a government training centre to be what I am - 663 00:56:56,949 --> 00:57:01,849 Frankenstein, the best driver on earth. This year. 664 00:57:01,949 --> 00:57:05,349 They use one up, they bring in another. 665 00:57:05,449 --> 00:57:09,949 - But I will be the last of the line. - Oh, who's kidding who? 666 00:57:12,949 --> 00:57:15,149 I never kid. 667 00:57:39,948 --> 00:57:42,448 Why don't you ever take off that glove? 668 00:57:42,448 --> 00:57:44,748 What's underneath it? 669 00:57:44,848 --> 00:57:47,848 It's my secret. 670 00:57:47,948 --> 00:57:50,847 You and the Swiss doctors again? 671 00:57:50,947 --> 00:57:53,947 There are no Swiss doctors. 672 00:57:54,047 --> 00:57:59,447 Just native... American... know-how. 673 00:58:20,046 --> 00:58:22,046 - Have you checked the oil? - Yes. 674 00:58:22,046 --> 00:58:24,746 - Have you checked the hydraulics? - An hour ago. 675 00:58:24,846 --> 00:58:28,346 - Brakes? Tires? Water? - Yeah, they're OK. Everything's OK. 676 00:58:28,346 --> 00:58:33,246 Don't worry. I'm not going to do anything to sabotage the car. 677 00:58:35,446 --> 00:58:36,846 You get a load of that face? 678 00:58:36,846 --> 00:58:39,746 I wonder if somebody got points for that eye. 679 00:58:41,246 --> 00:58:45,845 Listen, Frankenstein, there's just you, me and Joe left in the race, and... 680 00:58:45,945 --> 00:58:49,845 Well, I just want you to know that whoever wins and whatever happens, 681 00:58:49,945 --> 00:58:53,545 it's been really grand racin' with you folks. 682 00:58:53,545 --> 00:58:56,445 I also wanna say that I think you make a real nice couple. 683 00:58:56,445 --> 00:58:59,445 - Thank you, Jane. - Good luck. 684 00:59:06,845 --> 00:59:09,244 Joe, Myra, 685 00:59:09,244 --> 00:59:11,944 I just wanna say, whatever happens, whoever wins... 686 00:59:12,044 --> 00:59:14,444 Hey, save it for the French. 687 00:59:16,844 --> 00:59:21,344 The cars have started, lined up, and are ready to roll on the last lap. 688 00:59:21,444 --> 00:59:24,244 They're off! Frankenstein... Holy Chrysler! 689 00:59:24,244 --> 00:59:26,944 Joe has just scored his own pit crew! 690 00:59:27,044 --> 00:59:31,544 You lousy sons of bitches! That'll teach you! 691 00:59:32,044 --> 00:59:35,943 "Machine Gun" Joe Viterbo, that funny man from Chicago, 692 00:59:36,043 --> 00:59:39,643 has scored his own mechanics for 40 points, 693 00:59:39,743 --> 00:59:43,743 and is off to catch Calamity Jane and Frankenstein. 694 00:59:52,243 --> 00:59:55,343 Screw you, Joe Viterbo, and your mother! 695 00:59:55,443 --> 00:59:59,343 We'll see who gets to New L.A. first, with the highest score too. 696 00:59:59,443 --> 01:00:01,843 It's coming up on the left. 697 01:00:01,843 --> 01:00:05,142 Forget it. I'm keeping Frankie in my sights. 698 01:00:05,142 --> 01:00:08,342 He's got five minutes on us, and he's stretching it. 699 01:00:08,442 --> 01:00:11,742 So what? If there's trouble up ahead, he'll find it first. 700 01:00:11,842 --> 01:00:17,142 Oh, yeah. Take a look at your face. You'll find it first. 701 01:00:18,242 --> 01:00:21,142 You know, Myra, some people might think you're cute. 702 01:00:21,242 --> 01:00:25,042 But me, I think you're one very large baked potato. 703 01:00:25,142 --> 01:00:28,541 Roaring down Motorway 66 towards California, 704 01:00:28,641 --> 01:00:31,641 Frankenstein looks certain to be first across the line. 705 01:00:31,641 --> 01:00:36,041 But Machine Gun Joe is still way ahead on points, 706 01:00:36,041 --> 01:00:40,341 and he could win the race even by arriving second in New Los Angeles. 707 01:00:40,441 --> 01:00:43,541 What's your prediction, Grace? 708 01:00:43,641 --> 01:00:49,241 You know, Junior, when Machine Gun Joe was just a little boy in Chicago, 709 01:00:49,341 --> 01:00:54,041 he had a pet snake that he used to love to ride over with his tricycle. 710 01:02:45,836 --> 01:02:50,936 - Break out the thermos of hi-pro drink. - Coming right up. 711 01:03:14,835 --> 01:03:19,035 - Here. I didn't mean to hog it all. - Thanks. What flavor is it? 712 01:03:19,135 --> 01:03:22,435 - Vanilla. - Hm. Not my favorite. 713 01:03:26,935 --> 01:03:29,935 This isn't vanilla. It's peach or something. 714 01:03:29,935 --> 01:03:34,135 Yeah, well, my taste buds got wiped out in the crash of '97. 715 01:03:34,234 --> 01:03:39,034 It's a good thing mine that are still intact. At least the French can't poison us. 716 01:03:43,034 --> 01:03:45,334 What's Frankenstein's location now? 717 01:03:45,434 --> 01:03:50,234 He's about 50 miles out, Lieutenant, and coming fast. 718 01:03:53,434 --> 01:03:57,534 Goodbye, Mrs. Paine. When you see me again, Frankenstein will be my prisoner 719 01:03:57,534 --> 01:04:00,234 and the country will know we must be taken seriously. 720 01:04:00,334 --> 01:04:04,333 - Fury, wait. I'm coming with you. - No, Mrs. Paine, it's too dangerous. 721 01:04:04,333 --> 01:04:07,133 Nonsense. I've waited 20 years for this moment. 722 01:04:07,233 --> 01:04:09,133 I know I can't join you on the mission, 723 01:04:09,233 --> 01:04:12,833 but I want to see you pull it off with my own eyes. 724 01:04:14,433 --> 01:04:18,833 Couple of turnoffs coming up. What's the quickest way to New L.A.? 725 01:04:18,933 --> 01:04:23,233 - That's funny. - What? 726 01:04:23,333 --> 01:04:26,733 I can't... I can't seem to focus my eyes on the map. 727 01:04:26,733 --> 01:04:31,232 I think we stay on 7... I feel like I'm gonna pass out. 728 01:04:32,232 --> 01:04:34,432 Look at that. 729 01:04:37,132 --> 01:04:40,832 - It's them, isn't it? - Please... please, stop the car. 730 01:04:40,932 --> 01:04:43,832 Sorry. We're in a race. 731 01:04:53,032 --> 01:04:57,431 Frankenstein, stop right now. We wanna talk to you. 732 01:04:58,331 --> 01:05:01,931 Stop before I force you to. 733 01:05:13,731 --> 01:05:16,631 I'll bomb you to a halt if I have to. 734 01:05:28,930 --> 01:05:32,530 Annie, help me. Turn off the engine. 735 01:05:33,930 --> 01:05:38,130 Annie's dead, Mrs. Paine. He must have killed her. 736 01:05:39,330 --> 01:05:41,830 Now I'm really going to let him have it. 737 01:05:51,229 --> 01:05:54,729 Look at that. The rebels are sure giving it to Frankenstein. 738 01:05:54,829 --> 01:05:59,329 Thank you, rebels. Mary, I think we got this race won. 739 01:05:59,429 --> 01:06:02,129 - Aren't we gonna help him? - Are you nuts or something? 740 01:06:02,229 --> 01:06:07,929 I'm getting my ass out of here before they make an emergency landing. Sit down. 741 01:06:08,029 --> 01:06:10,029 Attagirl. 742 01:08:02,124 --> 01:08:04,224 Well, America, there you have it. 743 01:08:04,324 --> 01:08:08,124 Frankenstein has just been attacked by the French air force, 744 01:08:08,224 --> 01:08:10,624 and he's whipped their derri�res. 745 01:08:10,724 --> 01:08:14,324 His point total for this one'll be something astronomical. 746 01:08:14,324 --> 01:08:16,824 Machine Gun Joe better watch out. 747 01:08:23,224 --> 01:08:26,223 - Right on schedule. - Hey, what happened? 748 01:08:26,323 --> 01:08:28,523 I slipped you a 30-minute sleepex. 749 01:08:28,623 --> 01:08:31,523 Didn't want you doing something we would both regret. 750 01:08:31,623 --> 01:08:32,823 Did they attack us? 751 01:08:32,823 --> 01:08:36,223 According to the radio, we were attacked by the French air force. 752 01:08:36,323 --> 01:08:38,523 Was the plane shot down? 753 01:08:38,623 --> 01:08:41,823 Even those Swiss doctors couldn't have helped them. 754 01:08:41,923 --> 01:08:46,923 I'm sorry. I know they were your people. But I can't let anything stop me now. 755 01:08:47,023 --> 01:08:49,423 They didn't expect you to give up easily. 756 01:08:49,523 --> 01:08:52,822 They were prepared for whatever happened. 757 01:08:52,922 --> 01:08:54,622 Oh, my God, you've been hit! 758 01:08:54,722 --> 01:08:57,122 I'll make it. 759 01:08:58,122 --> 01:09:01,822 I'm sorry things worked out this way. 760 01:09:01,922 --> 01:09:05,422 - It's not over yet. - I'm afraid it is. 761 01:09:05,522 --> 01:09:06,322 Hey! 762 01:09:37,021 --> 01:09:39,021 What the hell do you think you're doing? 763 01:09:39,121 --> 01:09:41,621 It doesn't make any difference what happens to me. 764 01:09:41,621 --> 01:09:45,321 That is the dumbest, sorriest thing I've ever heard you say. 765 01:09:45,421 --> 01:09:49,720 I don't believe you've got a drop of Thomasina Paine's blood in your body. 766 01:09:49,820 --> 01:09:53,620 The minute things get rough, you close your eyes and try to drive us off a cliff. 767 01:09:53,720 --> 01:09:57,920 If you'd just stop trying to kill me for a minute, I need your help. 768 01:09:58,020 --> 01:10:01,120 How can you possibly expect me to help you? 769 01:10:01,220 --> 01:10:02,820 You're my navigator. 770 01:10:02,920 --> 01:10:05,520 You're the only one who knows where you're going. 771 01:10:05,520 --> 01:10:08,320 I mean, whose side are you on anyway? 772 01:10:08,420 --> 01:10:11,620 I thought the only thing you cared about was winning the race. 773 01:10:11,720 --> 01:10:16,819 Sure. Only the winner of the race gets to shake hands with Mr. President. 774 01:10:17,419 --> 01:10:19,919 - Is that a grenade? - A hand grenade. 775 01:10:20,019 --> 01:10:26,019 That handshake is all I've lived for for as long as I can remember. 776 01:10:26,119 --> 01:10:29,719 No, wait a minute. I don't want you to die. 777 01:10:33,219 --> 01:10:34,819 It's my life's work. 778 01:11:15,817 --> 01:11:18,417 Why do you wanna win this race so bad? 779 01:11:18,517 --> 01:11:22,017 Why do I wanna win this race? In the name of hate. 780 01:11:22,117 --> 01:11:24,117 One big victory for hate. 781 01:13:04,713 --> 01:13:07,713 Give me your hand. Give me your hand! 782 01:13:23,312 --> 01:13:27,112 - Hey, stop. Will you stop the car? - Shut up! What is that? 783 01:13:27,212 --> 01:13:32,712 It's a hand. Will you stop the goddamn car? Stop the car! 784 01:13:43,812 --> 01:13:47,411 You're going to have to shift the gears for me now. 785 01:13:47,411 --> 01:13:49,911 The only thing that worries me 786 01:13:49,911 --> 01:13:53,511 is how am I going to shake hands with Mr. President? 787 01:13:53,611 --> 01:13:56,711 Mr. President's the one who should be worried now. 788 01:14:16,510 --> 01:14:21,710 He's coming! Can you hear that engine? Still in perfect tune. 789 01:14:21,810 --> 01:14:26,110 Here he is - the one and only three-time winner 790 01:14:26,210 --> 01:14:30,810 and sole survivor of the 20th annual Transcontinental Road Race, 791 01:14:30,910 --> 01:14:34,610 none other than Frankenstein himself! 792 01:14:35,610 --> 01:14:37,309 And now Mr. President. 793 01:14:37,409 --> 01:14:39,909 Our enemy, the French, 794 01:14:40,009 --> 01:14:44,709 have destroyed nearly all our gallant racers. 795 01:14:44,809 --> 01:14:49,209 Just as they have crippled our once-great economy, 796 01:14:49,209 --> 01:14:52,209 and wrecked our telephone system. 797 01:14:52,309 --> 01:14:56,109 But even they, in all their evil power, 798 01:14:56,209 --> 01:14:59,609 were not able to destroy Frankenstein, 799 01:14:59,709 --> 01:15:03,609 who is the embodiment of our national virtue 800 01:15:03,708 --> 01:15:07,108 and therefore indestructible. 801 01:15:07,208 --> 01:15:12,708 It is fitting that Frankenstein should be the one chosen by your president 802 01:15:12,808 --> 01:15:17,308 to lead you in this war against the French which I now decree. 803 01:15:20,408 --> 01:15:23,908 Frankenstein has been shot! There is a French spy in our midst! 804 01:15:24,008 --> 01:15:26,908 Guards, seize that woman! 805 01:15:26,908 --> 01:15:30,008 Frankenstein, are you all right? 806 01:15:41,707 --> 01:15:42,907 Annie! 807 01:15:46,307 --> 01:15:48,107 Frankenstein... 808 01:16:13,306 --> 01:16:18,406 Frankenstein! Frankenstein! Frankenstein! Frankenstein! Frankenstein! 809 01:16:18,406 --> 01:16:22,006 Frankenstein! Frankenstein! Frankenstein! Frankenstein! 810 01:16:31,005 --> 01:16:36,205 Mr. And Mrs. President Frankenstein - dear friends of mine - 811 01:16:36,205 --> 01:16:39,005 can you tell us what your first official acts will be? 812 01:16:39,105 --> 01:16:43,105 I plan to pension off the secret police, restore free elections, 813 01:16:43,205 --> 01:16:47,405 end minority privilege, and move the seat of government back to New Los Angeles. 814 01:16:47,505 --> 01:16:49,505 We've been governed from abroad long enough. 815 01:16:49,605 --> 01:16:55,404 Mr. President, is it true that you are now accepting rebels into your government? 816 01:16:55,504 --> 01:16:59,404 Well, since I have accepted one into my house... 817 01:16:59,504 --> 01:17:03,604 President Frankenstein has appointed my great-grandmother, Thomasina Paine, 818 01:17:03,704 --> 01:17:08,204 in view of her experience in the field, as the minister for domestic security. 819 01:17:08,204 --> 01:17:12,204 And I plan to deal very harshly with rebels. 820 01:17:12,304 --> 01:17:18,203 Anybody who is unhappy with happiness can go find someplace else to live. 821 01:17:18,303 --> 01:17:20,903 - What about the race? - The race is abolished. 822 01:17:20,903 --> 01:17:22,903 - Abolished? - That's right. 823 01:17:23,003 --> 01:17:27,403 We feel that the country no longer needs this gratuitous display of violence 824 01:17:27,503 --> 01:17:30,103 to show the world that its virility is still intact. 825 01:17:30,203 --> 01:17:36,103 Mr. President, isn't it true that as a racer your popularity depended on violence? 826 01:17:36,203 --> 01:17:41,203 I'm afraid I shall have to let my press secretary answer that question. 827 01:17:41,303 --> 01:17:44,602 Stop annoying Mr. President with impertinent questions, Junior. 828 01:17:44,702 --> 01:17:46,802 It's the race, man. 829 01:17:46,902 --> 01:17:49,802 President Frankenstein, you can't call off the race. 830 01:17:49,902 --> 01:17:52,002 The American people won't stand for it! 831 01:17:52,102 --> 01:17:54,202 Get out of the way, Junior. 832 01:17:54,302 --> 01:17:58,902 The race is the symbol of everything we hold dear - our American way of life. 833 01:17:59,002 --> 01:18:01,702 Sure, it's violent. But that's the way we love it. 834 01:18:01,802 --> 01:18:05,302 Violent, violent, violent. And that's why we love you! 835 01:18:05,402 --> 01:18:07,802 Frank, do we have to listen to this? 836 01:18:07,902 --> 01:18:09,102 No. 837 01:18:18,401 --> 01:18:21,201 As to this matter of violence. 838 01:18:21,201 --> 01:18:26,001 The technique of violence was first developed in 2.000.000 BC 839 01:18:26,101 --> 01:18:28,201 by the Australopithecines. 840 01:18:28,301 --> 01:18:32,701 A tribe of four-foot primates who had no brains to speak of. 841 01:18:32,801 --> 01:18:38,100 But who. Nevertheless. Invented the tomahawk and used it on each other. 842 01:18:38,200 --> 01:18:43,800 This practice led to the enlargement of the brain - another useful weapon. 843 01:18:43,900 --> 01:18:49,100 Yes. Murder was invented even before man began to think. 844 01:18:49,100 --> 01:18:55,100 Now. of course. Man has become known as the thinking animal.