1 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,877 Right! Now! 2 00:00:15,877 --> 00:00:20,048 This is Mr. Bennett, and he's going to be taking the boys for football. 3 00:00:20,569 --> 00:00:24,010 Mr. Bennett foolishly wants to be a teacher. 4 00:00:24,010 --> 00:00:27,451 -Look at the fucking shell suit, man. -Fucking wanker. 5 00:00:27,451 --> 00:00:31,622 -I don't fucking believe it. -Fucking yeah. 6 00:00:31,935 --> 00:00:34,333 What you fucking looking at? 7 00:00:34,333 --> 00:00:38,504 Er, less fucking and more attention please. 8 00:00:38,504 --> 00:00:42,675 Something you might have said to your boyfriend that, Gina. 9 00:00:42,779 --> 00:00:46,950 Right, girls, onto the other pitch with me. Come on. 10 00:00:50,704 --> 00:00:53,623 -You, boy. Why aren't you playing? -Forgot my kit. 11 00:00:53,623 --> 00:00:57,481 Don't make him play, sir, he's shit. 12 00:00:57,481 --> 00:00:59,984 Balls, Mr. Bennett! 13 00:00:59,984 --> 00:01:03,320 Right. Look, I want you joining in, alright? 14 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:07,491 -You ain't playing, Gangel. -Fuck off, McBride. 15 00:01:10,515 --> 00:01:14,686 Ste! Come on. 16 00:01:20,421 --> 00:01:22,506 Oi! What's his name? 17 00:01:22,506 --> 00:01:24,800 Hugh, sir. Hugh Janus. 18 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:28,137 Hugh Janus (Huge Anus), get back here now! 19 00:01:28,137 --> 00:01:30,222 Hugh Janus! 20 00:01:30,222 --> 00:01:34,393 Janus, are you deaf? 21 00:03:25,129 --> 00:03:26,798 Alright, Sandra? 22 00:03:26,798 --> 00:03:28,969 Slag! 23 00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:55,160 What happened? 24 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:58,288 -School burnt down, did it? -Yeah. 25 00:03:58,288 --> 00:04:01,937 Oh, what was it this time then? IRA bomb? 26 00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:05,065 -Fundamentalist Muslim Pyromaniacs. -Oh funny that, 27 00:04:05,065 --> 00:04:08,715 looked all right when I walked past it. -Yeah. Funny that. 28 00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:12,052 Look, you're not too old to be taken over my knee, young man, d'you hear me? 29 00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:14,450 -The whole o' bloody Thamesmead can hear you. -Yeah, well.. 30 00:04:14,450 --> 00:04:16,431 -You have gotta start doing your games!! -Why? 31 00:04:16,431 --> 00:04:19,038 -Coz you have, that's why! -Who says? -I says! 32 00:04:19,038 --> 00:04:21,019 -I hate football! -You never used to! 33 00:04:21,019 --> 00:04:24,564 Well, I do now! 34 00:04:24,564 --> 00:04:27,901 You know what I'm gonna do now, duntcha? 35 00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:32,072 Juggle with 'em? 36 00:04:46,982 --> 00:04:49,902 You know what they'll do, don't ya! 37 00:04:49,902 --> 00:04:52,822 They'll put you into care. They'll say, 38 00:04:52,822 --> 00:04:56,263 "She's an unfit mother, bang 'im into one o' them homes, coz I mean, 39 00:04:56,263 --> 00:04:59,078 she can't even get him to do his PE.", That's what they're gonna do. 40 00:04:59,078 --> 00:05:02,936 She's throwing away everything I was saving for me kids. Books, toys. 41 00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:06,690 -I don't want kids. -Kids are cunts. 42 00:05:06,690 --> 00:05:10,026 -Anyone been calling you names? -Like what? 43 00:05:10,026 --> 00:05:12,946 -I dunno. Stumpy? -No. 44 00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:14,614 -I told you it'd stop. -I know. 45 00:05:14,614 --> 00:05:18,264 I told you you'd grow, but you don't take the blindest bit o' notice of me, do ya? 46 00:05:18,264 --> 00:05:19,828 -Course I do! -Oh yeah? 47 00:05:19,828 --> 00:05:23,582 Well, how comes every Wednesday afternoon, without fail, you're standing there? 48 00:05:23,582 --> 00:05:27,753 -I've told you. -Oh, have you!! 49 00:05:28,274 --> 00:05:32,445 Call the village band out. Bid me goodbye. 50 00:05:32,758 --> 00:05:35,156 -What you doing? -Singing. 51 00:05:35,156 --> 00:05:39,327 -What? -I'm just a girl who can't say no!! 52 00:05:39,639 --> 00:05:41,725 Heard of Mama Cass? 53 00:05:41,725 --> 00:05:43,706 No, sing it. 54 00:05:43,706 --> 00:05:45,896 -What? -Go on. 55 00:05:45,896 --> 00:05:50,067 -No way. -I won't laugh. 56 00:05:51,422 --> 00:05:55,593 Call the village band out. Bid me goodbye. 57 00:05:57,574 --> 00:06:01,745 Everybody stand outside and cry. 58 00:06:03,413 --> 00:06:07,584 Never thought so many Thought me so dear. 59 00:06:09,461 --> 00:06:13,632 I'd be happy any place but here. 60 00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:18,845 One way ticket take me anywhere, 61 00:06:20,722 --> 00:06:24,893 Northbound, southbound, I don't even care. 62 00:06:27,396 --> 00:06:31,567 I know the grass is greener there. 63 00:06:35,946 --> 00:06:38,031 Keep going! 64 00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:42,202 -You might persuade him to get back to school! -Libs! 65 00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:45,122 -It's not natural, is it? -What ain't? 66 00:06:45,122 --> 00:06:47,729 A girl her age to be into Mama Cass. 67 00:06:47,729 --> 00:06:49,606 She's got a really beautiful voice! 68 00:06:49,606 --> 00:06:51,065 And whassamatter with Madonna?! 69 00:06:51,065 --> 00:06:52,212 She's a slag! 70 00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:56,383 Hypocrite! 71 00:06:57,426 --> 00:07:00,033 -Alright, Ste? -Ste!! Alright? 72 00:07:00,033 --> 00:07:02,118 You two been bunking off together, have you? 73 00:07:02,118 --> 00:07:03,995 Not together, no. 74 00:07:03,995 --> 00:07:07,957 -You alright, Mrs. Gangel? -Well, it's nice to see someone can stay at school for the full day. 75 00:07:07,957 --> 00:07:10,877 -We had football today. -It's the wrong season for football, innit? 76 00:07:10,877 --> 00:07:14,318 -Student teacher. -Ah, is that the problem? 77 00:07:14,318 --> 00:07:17,759 -No. -Well, what is then? 78 00:07:17,759 --> 00:07:19,740 -I best get in. -Ah, Ste... 79 00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:21,304 I'm doing the tea. 80 00:07:21,304 --> 00:07:22,764 Stick it on, then come back out here. 81 00:07:22,764 --> 00:07:25,058 It's bubble and squeak, Leah. You can't leave bubble and squeak. 82 00:07:25,058 --> 00:07:26,830 You gotta watch it, like a hawk. 83 00:07:26,830 --> 00:07:29,020 Don't that make you fart, bubble and squeak? 84 00:07:29,020 --> 00:07:30,897 Only if you've got a fat arse. 85 00:07:30,897 --> 00:07:34,859 There was a phone-in this morning on Richard and Judy about delinquent children. 86 00:07:34,859 --> 00:07:36,423 I shoulda rung in. 87 00:07:36,423 --> 00:07:38,822 -I'm going in. -See ya, Ste. 88 00:07:38,822 --> 00:07:41,428 -Well, whose fault is it then? Eh? -The system. 89 00:07:41,428 --> 00:07:45,599 I am a victim of the education...thingamabob. 90 00:07:46,016 --> 00:07:47,268 Wasteland. 91 00:07:47,268 --> 00:07:50,083 You're a victim of your own big mouth more like. 92 00:07:50,083 --> 00:07:53,315 Leah, love, get in here and peel some taters for tea, will ya? 93 00:07:53,315 --> 00:07:55,609 Ah, kiss my arse. 94 00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:59,363 You! Indoors, she's a bad influence. 95 00:07:59,363 --> 00:08:01,240 She's a bad influence! 96 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:03,951 Right, you don't peel no taters you don't get no tea. 97 00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:05,411 Jamie! 98 00:08:05,411 --> 00:08:08,018 Rainbow's gone anyway. 99 00:08:08,018 --> 00:08:12,188 -That'll be the phone. -Well, it wouldn't be the bloody Hoover bag, would it! 100 00:08:20,739 --> 00:08:24,910 I know Miss Chauhan, but see, Miss Chauhan... 101 00:08:25,431 --> 00:08:27,412 He's got a funny tummy, you know? 102 00:08:27,412 --> 00:08:31,583 I mean...he really wanted to do football today but he got taken short, see. 103 00:08:32,730 --> 00:08:36,901 And when he got to the boy's loos, they were all locked up...inexplicably. 104 00:08:38,569 --> 00:08:42,740 So he had a little accident, you know. 105 00:08:43,261 --> 00:08:46,807 Oh yeah. I couldn't agree with you more, Miss Chauhan. 106 00:08:46,807 --> 00:08:50,977 I mean, when I was at school, I was the reserve captain for the Under Sixteens' netball team, 107 00:08:51,707 --> 00:08:55,878 So I can appreciate, the like, value of exercise and sport. 108 00:08:56,921 --> 00:09:01,092 I mean, I'd hate you to think this was any reflection on me myself. 109 00:09:32,165 --> 00:09:34,146 I'm going to work. 110 00:09:34,146 --> 00:09:37,587 There's a cheese salad in the fridge, and the one with the beetroot's for Tony. 111 00:09:37,587 --> 00:09:39,359 I don't need a babysitter. 112 00:09:39,359 --> 00:09:43,322 No, I know what you need. 113 00:09:43,322 --> 00:09:44,886 Shooting! 114 00:09:44,886 --> 00:09:46,867 -I heard that! -Yeah, well.. 115 00:09:46,867 --> 00:09:50,621 you could hear a zit burst in Australia, you, couldn't you? 116 00:09:50,621 --> 00:09:53,332 If you shot me you'd have to go to prison and live off gruel. 117 00:09:53,332 --> 00:09:55,104 Don't tempt me. 118 00:09:55,104 --> 00:09:59,275 I'll be checking your homework when I get back Be warned. 119 00:10:28,888 --> 00:10:32,016 Oi, Rose! 120 00:10:32,016 --> 00:10:33,476 At a boy, Ste! 121 00:10:33,476 --> 00:10:35,040 Get her to turn it down, will ya? 122 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:36,396 What d'you think I'm tryina do? 123 00:10:36,396 --> 00:10:38,064 Me old man's tryina get some kip in there! 124 00:10:38,064 --> 00:10:39,315 Yeah, and I'm tryina make chips! 125 00:10:39,315 --> 00:10:41,818 She's locked herself in her bloody room, hasn't she? 126 00:10:41,818 --> 00:10:43,799 Leah!!! 127 00:10:43,799 --> 00:10:46,614 -I'm on tablets, you know. -Can I get in and try? 128 00:10:46,614 --> 00:10:48,074 I give up. 129 00:10:48,074 --> 00:10:50,160 Leah! Leah! 130 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:51,724 This is my idol! 131 00:10:51,724 --> 00:10:55,790 Leah, love, spare a thought for all the nice people who live round here! 132 00:10:55,790 --> 00:10:57,980 Some of them don't like Mama Cass, you know! 133 00:10:57,980 --> 00:10:59,440 Well, they should! 134 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:00,899 Leah, please! 135 00:11:00,899 --> 00:11:05,070 Oh I suppose I should be glad it's not techno...acidic... 136 00:11:05,905 --> 00:11:09,033 housey housey...pop...trash. 137 00:11:09,033 --> 00:11:10,805 Leah!!! 138 00:11:10,805 --> 00:11:12,369 What's all the bloody noise? 139 00:11:12,369 --> 00:11:14,455 It's her, she can't control her kids! 140 00:11:14,455 --> 00:11:15,810 I've only got the one, you know! 141 00:11:15,810 --> 00:11:17,062 Just as bloody well! 142 00:11:17,062 --> 00:11:19,668 Rose, turn that bleeding racket down, will ya? 143 00:11:19,668 --> 00:11:23,109 D'you think I'm enjoying this? 144 00:11:23,109 --> 00:11:27,280 Leah! 145 00:11:29,783 --> 00:11:32,389 Oi! Mush! 146 00:11:32,389 --> 00:11:36,560 Is that Trevor? 147 00:11:46,987 --> 00:11:51,158 You only had to ask, Trevor. You know I'd do anything for you. 148 00:11:51,263 --> 00:11:55,121 Or..to you. 149 00:11:55,121 --> 00:11:58,457 I wouldn't touch it with his. 150 00:11:58,457 --> 00:12:02,628 See you later! 151 00:12:12,638 --> 00:12:16,809 Thank you, Trevor. 152 00:12:28,383 --> 00:12:32,554 Trevor! Trevor! 153 00:12:40,270 --> 00:12:43,398 Your mum told me straight, you know. 154 00:12:43,398 --> 00:12:47,569 Problems. Been there. 155 00:12:48,195 --> 00:12:52,366 Walking cross the park, game going on, my heart, you know, races. 156 00:12:53,930 --> 00:12:56,119 Scared. Jamie. 157 00:12:56,119 --> 00:13:00,290 Scared of the ball coming, you know, near me. 158 00:13:02,063 --> 00:13:05,295 Hey, we can fight this together. 159 00:13:05,295 --> 00:13:08,736 Fancy a knockabout? 160 00:13:08,736 --> 00:13:12,907 No, me neither. But some time, yeah? 161 00:13:28,026 --> 00:13:32,197 It looks like fried shite. 162 00:13:33,970 --> 00:13:35,951 Trevor, make us a sandwich. 163 00:13:35,951 --> 00:13:40,122 -But... -Trevor! 164 00:13:40,539 --> 00:13:44,710 Fuckin'ell! 165 00:14:14,010 --> 00:14:18,181 I can't eat all that. 166 00:14:51,652 --> 00:14:53,842 Where d'you meet my mum? 167 00:14:53,842 --> 00:14:55,406 Planet earth. 168 00:14:55,406 --> 00:14:56,866 Where? 169 00:14:56,866 --> 00:15:01,036 Oh, you know, out and about, here and there. 170 00:15:01,245 --> 00:15:04,060 What's a place? 171 00:15:04,060 --> 00:15:08,231 It's somewhere where, you know, shit happens. 172 00:15:10,421 --> 00:15:12,715 Yeah, but where? 173 00:15:12,715 --> 00:15:16,886 Gateways. 174 00:15:17,198 --> 00:15:19,180 She turn you on? 175 00:15:19,180 --> 00:15:20,118 Sure. 176 00:15:20,118 --> 00:15:22,099 She's thirty-five! 177 00:15:22,099 --> 00:15:26,270 What's age? Age is just... 178 00:15:27,104 --> 00:15:29,815 a number. You know? 179 00:15:29,815 --> 00:15:32,422 Mum said you was a painter. 180 00:15:32,422 --> 00:15:36,593 I know why she chose you, she needs the lounge done. 181 00:15:37,948 --> 00:15:40,138 Only had it painted last year. 182 00:15:40,138 --> 00:15:44,309 Like that, my mum, goes off things fast. 183 00:15:46,290 --> 00:15:50,461 She might go off you. Won't be laughing then, will you? 184 00:15:54,319 --> 00:15:58,490 Is that a spliff? 185 00:15:59,011 --> 00:16:03,182 Give us some. 186 00:16:07,144 --> 00:16:09,647 -Hey. -What? 187 00:16:09,647 --> 00:16:13,818 Your mum's gonna be all right. 188 00:16:46,246 --> 00:16:48,540 Dry Martini and lemonade please. 189 00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:50,521 Pint o'Pilsner. 190 00:16:50,521 --> 00:16:54,484 Lou? Ho served her? 191 00:16:54,484 --> 00:16:58,655 I dunno. 192 00:17:03,555 --> 00:17:05,954 You. Out! You're underage. 193 00:17:05,954 --> 00:17:07,518 I'm only drinking Coke! 194 00:17:07,518 --> 00:17:10,229 You'll be drinking blood when I slap your face, now move it. 195 00:17:10,229 --> 00:17:12,314 Oh, you're so hard. 196 00:17:12,314 --> 00:17:14,504 Was that a threat? 197 00:17:14,504 --> 00:17:17,111 Yeah, and here's another.. 198 00:17:17,111 --> 00:17:19,717 Get out before I call your childminder. 199 00:17:19,717 --> 00:17:22,220 Oh, come on, Slasher. I can't be arsed. 200 00:17:22,220 --> 00:17:25,452 Slasher? What d'you slash? Crepe paper? 201 00:17:25,452 --> 00:17:27,746 He's incontinent! 202 00:17:27,746 --> 00:17:31,917 Sandra!! 203 00:17:32,021 --> 00:17:34,003 Louise taking care of you, Mr. Barr? 204 00:17:34,003 --> 00:17:38,173 Of course..A word. 205 00:17:45,889 --> 00:17:50,060 Jamie, how old are you? 206 00:17:50,373 --> 00:17:53,918 Old enough. How old are you? 207 00:17:53,918 --> 00:17:58,089 Twenty-seven. Not old enough to be your dad. Right? 208 00:17:58,298 --> 00:18:00,383 What? 209 00:18:00,383 --> 00:18:02,469 Sure... 210 00:18:02,469 --> 00:18:04,554 What? 211 00:18:04,554 --> 00:18:08,725 It's just..shit, innit? 212 00:18:09,559 --> 00:18:11,019 What? 213 00:18:11,019 --> 00:18:15,190 The whole..concept. Yeah. 214 00:18:17,275 --> 00:18:21,446 Anyway, I think we should just like.. move towards getting away from all that. 215 00:18:23,531 --> 00:18:27,702 Right? 216 00:19:12,539 --> 00:19:16,710 Please, Trevor, I'm sorry. 217 00:19:28,910 --> 00:19:33,080 You'll breeze it, princess. Unless you really balls it up, the job's yours. 218 00:19:33,185 --> 00:19:37,251 What sort of questions will they ask? 219 00:19:37,251 --> 00:19:40,901 You're interviewing for a new barmaid. You got three birds up for one job. 220 00:19:40,901 --> 00:19:45,072 You say, 'If you find a fiver on the floor at the end of the night, what d'you do with it?' 221 00:19:45,697 --> 00:19:49,868 First bird goes, 'I'd hang onto it then ask round the next night to see if anyone's lost it.' 222 00:19:50,077 --> 00:19:52,683 Second bird goes, 'I'd out it in the till.' 223 00:19:52,683 --> 00:19:56,854 Third bird goes, I'd pocket it. Finders keepers.' 224 00:19:57,063 --> 00:20:01,234 Who d'you give the job to? 225 00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:05,405 The one with the biggest tits! 226 00:20:23,026 --> 00:20:26,259 I'd bet me own flat.. 227 00:20:26,259 --> 00:20:29,074 be down Stringfellows every night. 228 00:20:29,074 --> 00:20:33,245 I'd get a big drug problem. 229 00:20:34,079 --> 00:20:37,103 I'd get me own miniature poodle.. 230 00:20:37,103 --> 00:20:41,065 and I'd get a make-over. You could do all that if you had your own pub. 231 00:20:41,065 --> 00:20:42,942 I haven't even had the interview yet. 232 00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:45,758 One of these days I'm going to dripping in money, I am. 233 00:20:45,758 --> 00:20:49,928 -Right, this is me. See you tomorrow, babes. -See you, love! 234 00:21:04,839 --> 00:21:09,010 Ste?! 235 00:21:22,565 --> 00:21:26,736 Ste.. 236 00:21:29,030 --> 00:21:33,201 I'm not going back there. 237 00:21:35,912 --> 00:21:40,083 I know, love. 238 00:22:00,416 --> 00:22:02,293 Tony, make him a sandwich. 239 00:22:02,293 --> 00:22:03,648 What? 240 00:22:03,648 --> 00:22:06,151 Tony! 241 00:22:06,151 --> 00:22:09,592 What's it to be? Pastrami and fettuccine on rye? 242 00:22:09,592 --> 00:22:13,763 Tony. Just make him a sandwich please. 243 00:22:17,308 --> 00:22:21,479 You'll have to top and tail with Jamie, I'm afraid. 244 00:22:30,863 --> 00:22:35,034 Ronnie!! Trevor? It's me Sandra!! 245 00:22:38,579 --> 00:22:41,603 Your little Steven's round at our place tonight. 246 00:22:41,603 --> 00:22:45,148 I've every mind to report you Ronnie? Are you listening to me? 247 00:22:45,148 --> 00:22:47,651 This is Sandra here and I'm not happy! 248 00:22:47,651 --> 00:22:50,153 Fuck off, you meddling cunt!! 249 00:22:50,153 --> 00:22:54,324 This has got to stop! 250 00:22:57,974 --> 00:23:00,059 What are you reading then? 251 00:23:00,059 --> 00:23:01,936 Er, it's me mum's. 252 00:23:01,936 --> 00:23:03,813 Oh, yeah? I've seen that in the shop. 253 00:23:03,813 --> 00:23:07,984 -Hello! -Hello! 254 00:23:10,278 --> 00:23:12,989 -What bit you reading? -It's about Sally from Coronation Street. 255 00:23:12,989 --> 00:23:14,136 What, the blonde one? 256 00:23:14,136 --> 00:23:15,804 Yeah. Says her real name's Sally an' all. 257 00:23:15,804 --> 00:23:19,975 -What, in real life as well as on the telly? -Yeah, I hate that name. 258 00:23:26,023 --> 00:23:28,629 D'you always wear glasses when you read? 259 00:23:28,629 --> 00:23:31,132 -Supposed to. -You don't in school. 260 00:23:31,132 --> 00:23:32,905 -Hardly fetching, is it? -Nah, looks all right. 261 00:23:32,905 --> 00:23:33,843 Yeah? 262 00:23:33,843 --> 00:23:38,014 Yeah, I'm telling ya. 263 00:23:38,222 --> 00:23:41,038 -How's your sandwich? -Cheese and salad. Bang-on food. 264 00:23:41,038 --> 00:23:44,166 -Good for your sports, that. -That's right. Good for your spots an' all. 265 00:23:44,166 --> 00:23:46,877 -You haven't got any spots. -Yours are clearing up. 266 00:23:46,877 --> 00:23:51,048 Cheers. 267 00:23:51,882 --> 00:23:54,697 D'you fancy that Sally? 268 00:23:54,697 --> 00:23:58,138 Not really. Do you? 269 00:23:58,138 --> 00:24:01,996 Haven't given it much thought really. 270 00:24:01,996 --> 00:24:03,560 D'you fancy her next door? 271 00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:05,750 -Fancy Leah? -She fancies you. 272 00:24:05,750 --> 00:24:07,314 - Don't! -I'm only saying. 273 00:24:07,314 --> 00:24:11,485 Jamie! 274 00:24:25,249 --> 00:24:27,334 You goin' sleep? 275 00:24:27,334 --> 00:24:31,505 -Yeah, I'm knackered. -I'll turn the light off. 276 00:25:05,289 --> 00:25:07,166 Ste? 277 00:25:07,166 --> 00:25:09,668 Mm? 278 00:25:09,668 --> 00:25:11,232 You alright? 279 00:25:11,232 --> 00:25:13,526 Yeah. 280 00:25:13,526 --> 00:25:17,697 Right. 281 00:25:20,721 --> 00:25:23,015 Ste? 282 00:25:23,015 --> 00:25:24,683 What? 283 00:25:24,683 --> 00:25:27,186 Night. 284 00:25:27,186 --> 00:25:31,357 Night, Jamie. 285 00:26:01,074 --> 00:26:04,202 The second applicant says, 'I'd put it in the till.' 286 00:26:04,202 --> 00:26:07,330 The third applicant says, 'I'd keep it for myself.' 287 00:26:07,330 --> 00:26:09,520 'Finders keepers.' 288 00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:12,544 To whom would you offer the job? 289 00:26:12,544 --> 00:26:16,715 Well, it's obvious, innit? The bird with the biggest tits. 290 00:26:24,744 --> 00:26:28,915 Though seriously I'd have to say I'd be more keen on the third applicant. 291 00:26:29,749 --> 00:26:33,920 At least I'd know where I stood with her. 292 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:35,796 You have children, Mrs. Gangel? 293 00:26:35,796 --> 00:26:39,967 That's an easy one. Yeah, a son. Jamie. He's ever so nice. 294 00:26:43,930 --> 00:26:47,162 I really fucked that up, didn't I? 295 00:26:47,162 --> 00:26:51,333 You'll hear soon, princess. 296 00:27:27,411 --> 00:27:31,582 Yo! 297 00:27:36,482 --> 00:27:39,298 Pervert. 298 00:27:39,298 --> 00:27:43,469 Sorry? 299 00:27:43,573 --> 00:27:47,744 I think you'll find the word pervert is a serious no-no. 300 00:27:48,786 --> 00:27:52,957 Anyone who goes out with that old slapper has to be a pervert. 301 00:27:53,374 --> 00:27:55,251 Come again? 302 00:27:55,251 --> 00:27:57,232 Your bird. 303 00:27:57,232 --> 00:27:58,588 Sandra? 304 00:27:58,588 --> 00:28:01,820 She talks to me like I got cunt written on my forehead. 305 00:28:01,820 --> 00:28:05,991 You shouldn't use words like bird. 306 00:28:10,579 --> 00:28:14,750 You wanna watch yourself. Sandra's got a reputation. 307 00:28:16,627 --> 00:28:20,798 I'm saying nothing. 308 00:28:23,509 --> 00:28:24,656 Anyone got a match? 309 00:28:24,656 --> 00:28:26,324 Yeah, my arse your face. 310 00:28:26,324 --> 00:28:29,452 Your arse ain't that nice, love. 311 00:28:29,452 --> 00:28:32,893 Oh, grow up. 312 00:28:32,893 --> 00:28:37,064 Oi! Linda Lusardi! Get in here and cover yourself up! 313 00:29:11,161 --> 00:29:15,332 Get us me ball back! 314 00:29:16,374 --> 00:29:20,545 Get it yourself! 315 00:30:26,236 --> 00:30:28,322 You okay today, Ste? 316 00:30:28,322 --> 00:30:30,016 Yeah 317 00:30:30,616 --> 00:30:34,786 I went to have a look at a new school today. There's only twenty kids in the whole place. 318 00:30:35,118 --> 00:30:39,479 There'll be twenty-two if you go. You and Mama Cass. 319 00:30:39,479 --> 00:30:41,356 -Is it residential? -No. 320 00:30:41,356 --> 00:30:44,379 Shame. Coulda given you an 'and packing. 321 00:30:44,379 --> 00:30:46,673 Coulda packed that fat bitch and her music an'all. 322 00:30:46,673 --> 00:30:49,280 You shouldn't speak ill of the dead! 323 00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:51,470 Ere, shame how she died. 324 00:30:51,470 --> 00:30:54,702 -How did she die? -Choking on a sandwich! 325 00:30:54,702 --> 00:30:56,996 Now you know why I tell you not to gobble your chips down. 326 00:30:56,996 --> 00:30:58,873 -Wasn't she heavily into drugs? -Was she? 327 00:30:58,873 --> 00:31:01,793 Well, if you're that fat, drugs are a happy release. 328 00:31:01,793 --> 00:31:03,670 She mighta been happy being fat!! 329 00:31:03,670 --> 00:31:07,840 If she was so happy being fat, Jamie, why did she die choking on a sandwich? Eh? 330 00:31:08,570 --> 00:31:11,073 Why wasn't it a walloping great fry-up or somin'? 331 00:31:11,073 --> 00:31:13,367 It mighta been a bacon and egg sandwich. 332 00:31:13,367 --> 00:31:16,704 No, it's coming to me now, 333 00:31:16,704 --> 00:31:20,457 it was beef or chicken, somin' definitely low in cholesterol. 334 00:31:20,457 --> 00:31:23,273 -Hark at her, the fountain of all knowledge. -Yeah, well 335 00:31:23,273 --> 00:31:26,609 When you can keep up with the questions on Bob's Full House you can get back to me, all right? 336 00:31:26,609 --> 00:31:29,425 -I'm more of a Mastermind man. -Liar! 337 00:31:29,425 --> 00:31:33,595 Anyone see University Challenge last week? 338 00:31:35,055 --> 00:31:36,932 Me neither. 339 00:31:36,932 --> 00:31:41,103 Tony, crack me open another one. 340 00:31:43,710 --> 00:31:47,881 I fancy somin' wet dribbling down the back o'me gullet. Whaddya say? 341 00:31:49,028 --> 00:31:52,781 I say ditto, right. 342 00:31:52,781 --> 00:31:56,535 You can say whatever you want, love. Better in than out, d'you know what I mean? 343 00:31:56,535 --> 00:31:59,351 -Oh, shut up! -Oi! Manners! 344 00:31:59,351 --> 00:32:02,687 -Me mother never taught me none. -He makes me die, he does. 345 00:32:02,687 --> 00:32:04,877 That is the intention. 346 00:32:04,877 --> 00:32:07,692 Oh! I bet you don't speak like that to your old man, eh, Ste? 347 00:32:07,692 --> 00:32:09,673 I don't speak. Full stop. 348 00:32:09,673 --> 00:32:11,655 Oh, no offence, Ste. D'you know what I mean? 349 00:32:11,655 --> 00:32:14,261 -Mum! -I gotta get in. 350 00:32:14,261 --> 00:32:17,494 -You do that, Ste. -Going boxing with me dad later. 351 00:32:17,494 --> 00:32:21,665 What, can't enough of it, eh, Ste? 352 00:32:23,854 --> 00:32:27,191 Nah. Spectating. 353 00:32:27,191 --> 00:32:31,362 Weren't so funny when that bloke o' yours beat you up, was it? 354 00:32:39,078 --> 00:32:42,310 Oh, you're so clever, aren't you? 355 00:32:42,310 --> 00:32:44,604 Well, just remember, you, I give you them brains, so think on. 356 00:32:44,604 --> 00:32:46,273 I always thought you'd had a lobotomy. 357 00:32:46,273 --> 00:32:48,775 -What did he say? -Explain it to her, Tony! 358 00:32:48,775 --> 00:32:52,946 -Lobotomy? It's when you split your... -Yes!I know what it means, Tony! 359 00:32:54,614 --> 00:32:58,785 I work all the hours God sends just to keep you in insults. 360 00:32:59,098 --> 00:33:01,183 If this was my pub I'd have you barred. 361 00:33:01,183 --> 00:33:04,833 Well, go on then. Bar me, kick me out. You wouldn't dare! 362 00:33:04,833 --> 00:33:08,587 Oh, look at you. Butter wouldn't melt. 363 00:33:08,587 --> 00:33:10,568 But that's all right, Jamie. I've got your number. 364 00:33:10,568 --> 00:33:12,862 You got my number? Well, I've got yours, Sandra. 365 00:33:12,862 --> 00:33:14,634 So why don't you try and be a bit more like a mother to me? 366 00:33:14,634 --> 00:33:16,198 Oh, pull that one on me. 367 00:33:16,198 --> 00:33:19,327 I'm a terrible mother who don't know her arse from her elbow. 368 00:33:19,327 --> 00:33:21,621 I never has a mother so what do I know about bringing up kids? 369 00:33:21,621 --> 00:33:23,185 I'm not surprised she abandoned you! 370 00:33:23,185 --> 00:33:27,356 You skinny little bastard. 371 00:33:59,054 --> 00:34:01,661 Am I like my dad? 372 00:34:01,661 --> 00:34:05,832 No, you're like me. 373 00:34:08,126 --> 00:34:11,045 How am I weird? 374 00:34:11,045 --> 00:34:13,026 Give it a rest, Jamie. Christ. 375 00:34:13,026 --> 00:34:16,467 You said it. 376 00:34:16,467 --> 00:34:20,430 You're all right. Okay? 377 00:34:20,430 --> 00:34:24,601 So you got me for a mother, but who said life was easy? 378 00:34:25,435 --> 00:34:29,606 You are. You're all right. 379 00:35:03,911 --> 00:35:05,683 D'you wanna come the boxing? 380 00:35:05,683 --> 00:35:07,143 Shut up. 381 00:35:07,143 --> 00:35:11,314 -Got a spare ticket. -Leave me alone. 382 00:35:13,817 --> 00:35:17,987 -You all right? -Apparently. 383 00:35:59,070 --> 00:36:03,241 They think I'm a piece of shit. 384 00:36:42,656 --> 00:36:45,054 Jamie? 385 00:36:45,054 --> 00:36:47,869 D'you wanna watch The Sound o' Music? 386 00:36:47,869 --> 00:36:52,040 -It's on Sky, Jamie! -We're goin' asleep! 387 00:36:52,249 --> 00:36:56,420 OK. Sorry, lads. 388 00:37:07,368 --> 00:37:11,539 It's me mum's. Body Shop. 389 00:37:12,582 --> 00:37:16,753 Peppermint foot lotion. Soothes your feet. 390 00:37:18,942 --> 00:37:23,113 Lie down and I'll rub it into your back. If you want. 391 00:38:04,926 --> 00:38:07,116 Cold, innit? 392 00:38:07,116 --> 00:38:11,286 Yeah. 393 00:38:22,965 --> 00:38:25,467 I'm gonna work at the sports center. 394 00:38:25,467 --> 00:38:27,344 Yeah? 395 00:38:27,344 --> 00:38:31,515 Do me shifts in the fitness pool, do me shifts in the leisure pool. 396 00:38:31,828 --> 00:38:33,705 I know I can do it. 397 00:38:33,705 --> 00:38:36,520 You're a good swimmer. 398 00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:40,691 You're on your own when you're swimming. 399 00:38:53,308 --> 00:38:55,810 I'm gonna stink of mint. 400 00:38:55,810 --> 00:38:59,981 -Peppermint. -Peppermint. 401 00:39:06,446 --> 00:39:10,617 Have you ever..kissed anyone? And stuck your tongue in? 402 00:39:15,309 --> 00:39:17,394 Looking like this? 403 00:39:17,394 --> 00:39:19,793 You ain't ugly. 404 00:39:19,793 --> 00:39:23,859 They've made me ugly. 405 00:39:23,859 --> 00:39:28,030 I don't think you're ugly. 406 00:39:38,457 --> 00:39:41,273 Turn over, I'll do your front. 407 00:39:41,273 --> 00:39:44,818 I can't. 408 00:39:44,818 --> 00:39:48,989 I'm..I'm too sore. I'd make too much noise and then your mum'd come in. 409 00:39:49,302 --> 00:39:53,160 Jamie? Sorry, love. -Who played the baroness? 410 00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:55,662 -Eleanor Parker. -That's it! 411 00:39:55,662 --> 00:39:59,833 I wanna show off to Tony. Sorry, lads. Won't happen again. 412 00:40:03,274 --> 00:40:05,255 -Turn the light off. -No. 413 00:40:05,255 --> 00:40:09,426 -Please. -I don't wanna. 414 00:40:21,626 --> 00:40:23,815 Can I come up that end with you? 415 00:40:23,815 --> 00:40:25,692 -No. -Please. 416 00:40:25,692 --> 00:40:29,863 You stay where you are. 417 00:40:57,599 --> 00:41:01,770 -Satisfied? -Mm. Night. 418 00:41:23,459 --> 00:41:26,587 D'you think I'm queer? 419 00:41:26,587 --> 00:41:30,758 Don't matter what I think. 420 00:41:40,559 --> 00:41:44,730 Can I touch you? 421 00:41:46,190 --> 00:41:50,361 I'm a bit sore. 422 00:41:51,090 --> 00:41:55,261 Yeah. 423 00:43:50,168 --> 00:43:52,671 -Great kid! -Fuck off, I'm minding her for my cousin! 424 00:43:52,671 --> 00:43:54,756 Motherhood suits you! 425 00:43:54,756 --> 00:43:58,302 Yeah, well, at least if I did get pregnant I wouldn't get rid of it like... 426 00:43:58,302 --> 00:44:00,908 some slappers I could mention. 427 00:44:00,908 --> 00:44:05,079 Yeah, well, you're with the black hole o' Thamesmead love, not me. 428 00:45:16,922 --> 00:45:19,425 -Where you going? -Out with me mates. 429 00:45:19,425 --> 00:45:21,927 Jamie, you haven't got any mates. 430 00:45:21,927 --> 00:45:26,098 -I'm going to a party. I won't be late. -I know. 431 00:46:09,683 --> 00:46:13,020 Knocked around for you a few times. Thought you might come round. 432 00:46:13,020 --> 00:46:16,461 It's hot. Bloody heat wave, Jamie, and you expect me to be indoors? 433 00:46:16,461 --> 00:46:19,589 No, it's just, you know, just a bit weird. 434 00:46:19,589 --> 00:46:21,779 I was out. All right? What's weird about that? 435 00:46:21,779 --> 00:46:24,177 -Been worried about you. -Don't be. 436 00:46:24,177 --> 00:46:28,348 -Well, I was. -Well, don't be! 437 00:46:28,869 --> 00:46:31,789 Nothing's happened, yeah? I'm all right. I'm pukka. 438 00:46:31,789 --> 00:46:33,562 Everything, everything's pukka. 439 00:46:33,562 --> 00:46:36,481 -You're black and blue. -Give a rest, Jamie. 440 00:46:36,481 --> 00:46:38,671 Oh, things getting better then, are they? Daddy laid off the fist work? 441 00:46:38,671 --> 00:46:42,320 -Or haven't you burned the tea lately? -I said leave it out! 442 00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:45,136 -You're scared. -I ain't scared o'nothing. 443 00:46:45,136 --> 00:46:48,055 -Yeah? -Yeah! 444 00:46:48,055 --> 00:46:50,766 Last week, right.. I went to Woolwich. 445 00:46:50,766 --> 00:46:54,937 Coming out of this shop and there's this geezer in the gutter, pissed out of his skull. Lying there. 446 00:46:55,459 --> 00:46:59,629 And everyone was walking past him. I had to step over him. 447 00:47:00,359 --> 00:47:03,175 And it was my old man. 448 00:47:03,175 --> 00:47:06,511 Got me to thinking on the bus. Why be scared of a bloke who's dead to the world? 449 00:47:06,511 --> 00:47:08,492 When he knocks ten different types o' shite outta ya. 450 00:47:08,492 --> 00:47:10,682 He's an embarrassment. He's nothing more, he's nothing less. 451 00:47:10,682 --> 00:47:14,853 -Why be scared o'that? -Scared o'being called queer? 452 00:47:18,503 --> 00:47:20,275 Are you? 453 00:47:20,275 --> 00:47:24,446 Maybe. 454 00:47:25,176 --> 00:47:27,783 Maybe not. 455 00:47:27,783 --> 00:47:30,494 -And are you? -Queer? 456 00:47:30,494 --> 00:47:32,996 Gay? 457 00:47:32,996 --> 00:47:36,541 I'm very happy. 458 00:47:36,541 --> 00:47:40,712 I'm happy when I'm with you. 459 00:47:41,651 --> 00:47:43,840 There, said it now. Go on, piss yourself. 460 00:47:43,840 --> 00:47:44,883 No. 461 00:47:44,883 --> 00:47:46,239 Why not? Don't you think it's funny? 462 00:47:46,239 --> 00:47:47,281 I don't wanna. 463 00:47:47,281 --> 00:47:48,950 I think it's hilarious. 464 00:47:48,950 --> 00:47:53,121 Well, why aren't you laughing then? 465 00:48:00,837 --> 00:48:04,903 D'you wanna come round tonight? 466 00:48:04,903 --> 00:48:07,614 -Say somin'. -I Can't. 467 00:48:07,614 --> 00:48:11,785 Well, say no then. 468 00:48:20,961 --> 00:48:25,132 Look. Let's get a drink, eh? 469 00:48:35,142 --> 00:48:39,313 Scrub me back, Tony. 470 00:48:39,417 --> 00:48:43,588 Tony? 471 00:48:46,508 --> 00:48:50,678 Tony, what's the matter? 472 00:48:54,641 --> 00:48:58,812 Tony? 473 00:48:59,020 --> 00:49:03,191 It's just..something Leah said. 474 00:49:03,504 --> 00:49:04,859 Leah? 475 00:49:04,859 --> 00:49:07,675 Right. I'll look away. Yous lot keep talking. 476 00:49:07,675 --> 00:49:10,698 -Then as a surprise, hit me over the head with the tongs. -What? 477 00:49:10,698 --> 00:49:13,097 -It's an experiment. -Man, I'm wired. 478 00:49:13,097 --> 00:49:16,121 I don't understand this, d'you want me to hit you hard? 479 00:49:16,121 --> 00:49:20,187 Yeah. Ah here Ste, you do it, you're stronger than her. 480 00:49:20,187 --> 00:49:22,585 -No! -I can fuckin' do it!! 481 00:49:22,585 --> 00:49:26,756 Come on. Talk. 482 00:49:28,737 --> 00:49:32,908 -I said talk! -Is anybody else wired? 483 00:49:33,742 --> 00:49:37,913 'Ere. Read this! 484 00:49:38,226 --> 00:49:42,397 Mama Cass wasn't allowed to join the group because Phillips didn't think her range was good enough for his songs. 485 00:49:43,335 --> 00:49:47,193 But one day when Cass was decorating at home, a lead pipe struck her on the head 486 00:49:47,193 --> 00:49:50,739 -and when she recovered from the resultant concussion... -Say it.. 487 00:49:50,739 --> 00:49:57,099 Lo and behold her voice had changed. 488 00:49:57,621 --> 00:50:01,791 You twisted little bitch. 489 00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:05,024 -How dare you say all those things to my fella? -La-ah! 490 00:50:05,024 --> 00:50:08,152 I lost that baby, you venomous little cow! 491 00:50:08,152 --> 00:50:11,072 You could never turn Tony's mind against me, Leah, d'you hear me? 492 00:50:11,072 --> 00:50:14,930 Coz he sees you for the interfering little slapper that you are. 493 00:50:14,930 --> 00:50:17,641 -I wanted it to change. -Yeah, well, some things never change. 494 00:50:17,641 --> 00:50:18,788 I wanted it to change! 495 00:50:18,788 --> 00:50:22,959 A leopard never changes it spots and a slapper never changes her knickers. 496 00:50:25,357 --> 00:50:28,798 -Be told. -Man, I'm tripping. 497 00:50:28,798 --> 00:50:29,736 Come on, Tony. 498 00:50:29,736 --> 00:50:33,907 -Fancy a drink, babe? -Have a wank, Big Bollocks! 499 00:50:35,784 --> 00:50:38,704 Is that your mum, Gangel? No wonder you're fuckin' nuts! 500 00:50:38,704 --> 00:50:40,997 You shouldn't have said that to Tony. 501 00:50:40,997 --> 00:50:44,021 -Don't you start. -Should I call an ambulance? 502 00:50:44,021 --> 00:50:48,192 Call a vet, have it put down. 503 00:50:48,192 --> 00:50:49,861 Hey Ste! You got any of them Es left? 504 00:50:49,861 --> 00:50:51,737 -No! -Please, Steven! 505 00:50:51,737 --> 00:50:54,448 -No way! -Come on, Jay, let's go.. 506 00:50:54,448 --> 00:50:58,098 Give us an E. Or I'll spread it round where you slept last week. 507 00:50:58,098 --> 00:51:00,392 What? 508 00:51:00,392 --> 00:51:02,894 -Dunno what you're talking about. -He slept on the couch. 509 00:51:02,894 --> 00:51:06,440 Not what I heard. Top to tail, your mum said, very nice. 510 00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:08,421 Take no notice, Ste. 511 00:51:08,421 --> 00:51:10,715 -What would your dad say? -Piss off, Leah! 512 00:51:10,715 --> 00:51:12,279 -What would..your Trevor say? 513 00:51:12,279 --> 00:51:13,739 -Leah! -Try it! 514 00:51:13,739 --> 00:51:17,180 -I don't like hitting girls! -Oh, hit me then. Go on. Hit me. 515 00:51:17,180 --> 00:51:21,351 -You stupid queer! -Ste, come on. 516 00:51:26,981 --> 00:51:31,152 Oi! Trevor already knows! 517 00:51:33,759 --> 00:51:37,408 You know what them flats are like, walls paper-thin! 518 00:51:37,408 --> 00:51:40,536 Why d'you think he's been twatting the face offa you, eh? He knows! 519 00:51:40,536 --> 00:51:42,101 There's nothing to know! 520 00:51:42,101 --> 00:51:44,082 -Top to tail? -You know fuck all! 521 00:51:44,082 --> 00:51:45,959 -Oh, really? -Yeah, really. 522 00:51:45,959 --> 00:51:50,129 But I know this much, I've been sticking up for you. For the pair of you. 523 00:51:50,546 --> 00:51:54,717 Told him I knew you'd slept on the couch, told him I'd been in and seen. 524 00:51:56,281 --> 00:52:00,139 I goes, 'You shouldn't say things like that about your own brother, they're just mates.' 525 00:52:00,139 --> 00:52:01,912 Nothing happened. 526 00:52:01,912 --> 00:52:04,206 -When was the last time your Trevor hit you? -What's it to you? 527 00:52:04,206 --> 00:52:05,979 -I bet it was Thursday. -So? 528 00:52:05,979 --> 00:52:10,149 You see, that's when I told him. That's when I lied. 529 00:52:13,069 --> 00:52:15,676 -Give her an E. -Nah, it's all right. 530 00:52:15,676 --> 00:52:19,847 I'm not after sympathy. 531 00:52:21,515 --> 00:52:24,226 -We going then -Are you fucking stupid or what?! 532 00:52:24,226 --> 00:52:26,103 -Ste... -Get your hands off of me! 533 00:52:26,103 --> 00:52:30,274 -Ste! -Get your fucking queer hands off of me! 534 00:52:54,152 --> 00:52:58,323 -Alright? -Alright. 535 00:52:58,323 --> 00:53:01,034 -What you doing? -Oh not a lot. 536 00:53:01,034 --> 00:53:03,849 Claire's mum's got some vodka back at their house, aint she, Claire? 537 00:53:03,849 --> 00:53:06,143 -Yeah, half a bottle. -We're going back there now. 538 00:53:06,143 --> 00:53:09,271 Claire's mum works at the all-night garage. Don't she, Claire? 539 00:53:09,271 --> 00:53:13,129 Yeah. Her name's Mary. 540 00:53:13,129 --> 00:53:16,049 D'you fancy some vodka, Ste? 541 00:53:16,049 --> 00:53:17,926 Oh, not really. 542 00:53:17,926 --> 00:53:20,428 -Well then. See ya. -See ya. 543 00:53:20,428 --> 00:53:24,599 Come on, Claire. 544 00:53:27,832 --> 00:53:32,003 I suppose a shag's outs the question then?! 545 00:54:03,492 --> 00:54:05,995 -I'm going now. -All right, love. 546 00:54:05,995 --> 00:54:10,166 Oi! 547 00:54:17,152 --> 00:54:20,593 -What's his problem? -Oh, he's in love, that's all. 548 00:54:20,593 --> 00:54:22,783 No! 549 00:54:22,783 --> 00:54:26,954 -Yeah, I'll see ya! -See ya! Wouldn't want to be ya! 550 00:54:32,688 --> 00:54:36,859 How d'you fancy going to Greenwich? The Park. Legs astride the Meridian, as they say. 551 00:54:38,423 --> 00:54:41,134 I gotta sort out the week's rota for work. 552 00:54:41,134 --> 00:54:43,950 You're addicted to that pub, addict! 553 00:54:43,950 --> 00:54:46,869 Don't knock it, there's money to be made in booze. 554 00:54:46,869 --> 00:54:49,163 Is that all you want outta life? 555 00:54:49,163 --> 00:54:53,334 All I want is enough money to buy a decent pair o'shoes that don't let in the rain. 556 00:54:53,856 --> 00:54:56,879 -I can get you shoes. -No, Tony, it's all right. 557 00:54:56,879 --> 00:55:01,050 -I can make you shoes. -Tony! 558 00:55:01,155 --> 00:55:05,325 Right. I'll do some hoovering or whatever. 559 00:55:05,534 --> 00:55:09,183 -But I thought you said you wanted to go to the park! -No problem. 560 00:55:09,183 --> 00:55:11,582 -Yo, Ste! -Alright? 561 00:55:11,582 --> 00:55:14,606 'Ere, Ste. Any beans to spill? 562 00:55:14,606 --> 00:55:18,464 A little bird told me you're in love. 563 00:55:18,464 --> 00:55:19,819 What? 564 00:55:19,819 --> 00:55:22,530 Four-letter word love! 565 00:55:22,530 --> 00:55:24,928 Oh, don't look so worried, Jamie told me all about it. 566 00:55:24,928 --> 00:55:27,848 She's jealous, twenty years younger, could've been her. 567 00:55:27,848 --> 00:55:32,019 -Come on, what's she like? -Well, what's her name then? 568 00:55:32,436 --> 00:55:36,607 -No! -Oh, short for Nolene? Very Home and Away. 569 00:55:36,815 --> 00:55:40,986 It's about time too, you deserve a bit o'luck, coz you're all right, you are. 570 00:55:42,133 --> 00:55:46,304 'Ere, buy Nolene a present with this. 571 00:55:47,660 --> 00:55:50,162 -Get her some flowers. -Sandra, I can't take your money. 572 00:55:50,162 --> 00:55:54,333 Oh, I had a good night for tips last night, go on. 573 00:56:01,736 --> 00:56:03,300 It's for his bird. 574 00:56:03,300 --> 00:56:07,471 Do you have to use words like that? It really disempowers you. 575 00:56:22,069 --> 00:56:26,240 Nolene busy tonight, was she? 576 00:56:42,715 --> 00:56:46,886 Got you this. 577 00:56:58,564 --> 00:57:02,735 My, what a pretty hat. It's the prettiest hat I ever did see, Master Steven. 578 00:57:03,361 --> 00:57:07,531 Does this mean we're engaged? 579 00:57:11,181 --> 00:57:15,352 What? 580 00:57:45,590 --> 00:57:55,496 Tony. 581 00:57:56,643 --> 00:58:00,814 Sort me out. 582 00:58:13,952 --> 00:58:18,123 It just don't feel right. Here. Your mum and Tony on the other side o' that door. 583 00:58:19,374 --> 00:58:22,398 My old man and Trevor next door. 584 00:58:22,398 --> 00:58:26,256 I got an aunty in Gravesend, thought we could go there one night coz she's deaf. 585 00:58:26,256 --> 00:58:30,427 But that don't feel right either. 586 00:59:03,273 --> 00:59:07,443 You cannot transmit the HIV virus via frottage. 587 00:59:08,382 --> 00:59:12,553 -What's frottage? -Yoghurt. It's French. 588 00:59:14,534 --> 00:59:18,079 Dear Brian, I am twenty-three, black, and gay. 589 00:59:18,079 --> 00:59:22,250 I am happy being with a man, but get a horrible feeling that people are going to talk about me behind my back, 590 00:59:22,876 --> 00:59:25,170 and not accept me as I am. 591 00:59:25,170 --> 00:59:29,340 Also, my family don't know. Unhappy, north London. 592 00:59:29,340 --> 00:59:33,511 Get over that river, mate. I'll make you happy! 593 00:59:34,345 --> 00:59:38,412 Find page ninety-two. 594 00:59:38,412 --> 00:59:42,583 It's the bottom right-hand corner. 595 00:59:43,521 --> 00:59:47,692 It's a pub. One-eighty bus goes right to it. 596 00:59:50,925 --> 00:59:53,844 So? 597 00:59:53,844 --> 00:59:57,494 Look at that. Isn't that beautiful? 598 00:59:57,494 --> 00:59:59,892 You'd never get it through the front door. 599 00:59:59,892 --> 01:00:03,541 Yeah, well, you never know when you're gonna be living somewhere else do you? 600 01:00:03,541 --> 01:00:05,418 That is a work of art. 601 01:00:05,418 --> 01:00:07,817 Claude Monet couldna done better. 602 01:00:07,817 --> 01:00:10,423 Get a life. 603 01:00:10,423 --> 01:00:13,343 D'you know who Claude Monet is? 604 01:00:13,343 --> 01:00:16,471 Jamie, don't make me out to be thick. 605 01:00:16,471 --> 01:00:20,642 You just remember I won a year's supply of toilet freshener for making up that poem. 606 01:00:21,997 --> 01:00:26,168 That took brains and artistry, that did. 607 01:00:29,505 --> 01:00:31,903 Can you imagine it though? 608 01:00:31,903 --> 01:00:36,074 Me and you with our feet up on a cold winter's night? 609 01:00:36,908 --> 01:00:41,079 -On that. -Sandra! 610 01:00:42,018 --> 01:00:43,790 Who was he then? 611 01:00:43,790 --> 01:00:47,961 He painted the Sixteenth Chapel. 612 01:00:47,961 --> 01:00:52,132 -And I haven't finished with you yet. -Miss Chauhan. 613 01:00:52,549 --> 01:00:56,303 -See ya! -Have a cool time, kid! 614 01:00:56,303 --> 01:01:00,474 You rung to talk about my little git of a son? 615 01:01:34,153 --> 01:01:38,324 You seen Jamie?! 616 01:03:57,631 --> 01:04:01,802 I love you. You're marvelous. Well, Petra, I hope your leg gets better. 617 01:04:02,636 --> 01:04:05,972 She still thinks she's in Baby Jane. 618 01:04:05,972 --> 01:04:09,518 Fancy wheeling me round the back, mate? 619 01:04:09,518 --> 01:04:13,688 Excuse me, what's going on here? Petra, dear? 620 01:04:17,025 --> 01:04:20,883 Bit young for you, isn't she dear? Looks like she's just out of Pampers. 621 01:04:20,883 --> 01:04:24,116 Shut up, you. What's your name, petal? 622 01:04:24,116 --> 01:04:27,765 -Jamie. -That's lovely. 623 01:04:27,765 --> 01:04:31,936 Oh, Jamie, you make me feel like I just wanna get my breast out to you. 624 01:04:33,187 --> 01:04:37,358 I feel like chicken tonight! 625 01:04:38,505 --> 01:04:42,676 So, Jamie, I think I'll have two of you, 626 01:04:42,780 --> 01:04:46,117 and ten of your mate! Hello. 627 01:04:46,117 --> 01:04:50,288 Well, I've got my work cut out. I'll see you after the break. Trar. 628 01:04:54,459 --> 01:04:57,274 Oh, don't you wish your leg was better, Petra. 629 01:04:57,274 --> 01:05:01,445 See you later! Mothercare, here I come! 630 01:06:27,573 --> 01:06:31,744 -Alright, Leah? -Leah? Who's Leah? 631 01:06:43,214 --> 01:06:45,299 Had a nice night? 632 01:06:45,299 --> 01:06:49,470 Yeah. 633 01:06:49,991 --> 01:06:53,328 -Got pictures? -Yeah. 634 01:06:53,328 --> 01:06:57,082 -What, with Ste? -Yeah. 635 01:06:57,082 --> 01:06:59,480 This is no time for lying, Jamie! 636 01:06:59,480 --> 01:07:02,921 It's not a lie! 637 01:07:02,921 --> 01:07:06,049 You went the Gloucester, didn't you? 638 01:07:06,049 --> 01:07:08,447 Look at me! 639 01:07:08,447 --> 01:07:10,324 Only went for a drink. 640 01:07:10,324 --> 01:07:11,888 That's where gay people go. 641 01:07:11,888 --> 01:07:14,078 It's not just gay people go, other people go. 642 01:07:14,078 --> 01:07:16,163 Oh, people like you? 643 01:07:16,163 --> 01:07:18,979 Yeah. 644 01:07:18,979 --> 01:07:21,898 -Miss Chauhan rang me today. -That old bag? 645 01:07:21,898 --> 01:07:24,714 -You never told me you kept getting hit! -Everyone gets hit! 646 01:07:24,714 --> 01:07:26,799 Oh.. 647 01:07:26,799 --> 01:07:30,970 and does everyone get called a queer bent bastard and all then, do they? 648 01:07:39,520 --> 01:07:41,188 -You're pissed. -No I'm not. 649 01:07:41,188 --> 01:07:44,525 You're pissed from a bloody gay bar. 650 01:07:44,525 --> 01:07:48,592 -How d'you know it's gay anyway? -Because it's got a bloody great pink neon arse outside of it. 651 01:07:48,592 --> 01:07:51,303 You been spying on me? 652 01:07:51,303 --> 01:07:52,971 No. Someone at work saw you go in. 653 01:07:52,971 --> 01:07:57,142 Well, it don't mean I'm gay. They wanna mind their own business. 654 01:07:57,351 --> 01:08:00,062 -That's what I said. -Well, what you going on at me for then? 655 01:08:00,062 --> 01:08:04,232 Because sometimes, Jamie, I can put two and two together and make bloody four. 656 01:08:04,337 --> 01:08:07,986 -I'm not bloody stupid, you know. -I went for a drink. Big deal. 657 01:08:07,986 --> 01:08:10,280 -Everyone in my class goes drinking. -Yeah 658 01:08:10,280 --> 01:08:12,783 But they don't all go the bloody Gloucester though, do they? 659 01:08:12,783 --> 01:08:16,432 -Some of 'em take drugs, at least I'm not doing that. -No, I bloody hope you're not! 660 01:08:16,432 --> 01:08:19,769 Ah, well, thanks a lot. Thanks a bundle. Go back to bed. 661 01:08:19,769 --> 01:08:23,940 -I can't sleep, Jamie. -Well, don't take it out on me. 662 01:08:24,774 --> 01:08:27,381 -Will you just talk to me, Jamie? -I'm knackered. 663 01:08:27,381 --> 01:08:31,552 Jamie. Please. Just talk to me. 664 01:08:32,281 --> 01:08:33,950 What about? 665 01:08:33,950 --> 01:08:38,121 I'm your mother. 666 01:08:45,315 --> 01:08:49,278 Some things are just hard to say. 667 01:08:49,278 --> 01:08:53,448 I know. I know that. 668 01:08:53,448 --> 01:08:57,515 You think I'm too young. You think it's just a phase. 669 01:08:57,515 --> 01:09:01,686 You think I'm gonna catch AIDS and...and everything. 670 01:09:04,293 --> 01:09:08,464 You know a lot about me, duntcha? 671 01:09:15,554 --> 01:09:19,725 Don't cry. 672 01:09:23,374 --> 01:09:27,545 It's alright. 673 01:09:43,812 --> 01:09:47,982 I'm not gonna put you out in the morning like an empty bottle. 674 01:10:03,415 --> 01:10:07,585 There was me goina bed of a night worried coz you had to share a bed with Ste. 675 01:10:08,420 --> 01:10:12,590 And all the time you were... you were doing a seventy minus one. 676 01:10:21,558 --> 01:10:25,729 I like the lad, Jamie. But he hasn't seen any life. 677 01:10:26,563 --> 01:10:30,421 -He's good to me. -Is he? 678 01:10:30,421 --> 01:10:34,592 Yeah. 679 01:10:39,180 --> 01:10:42,099 -What have you done now? -Nothing. 680 01:10:42,099 --> 01:10:44,602 Then why's she so upset? 681 01:10:44,602 --> 01:10:48,356 Coz I'm a queer! A bender! A poufter! A nobshiner! 682 01:10:48,356 --> 01:10:50,441 Coz I'm a queer! A bender! A poufter! A nobshiner! Brown hatter! Shirtflaplifter! 683 01:10:50,441 --> 01:10:54,090 I...I get the picture. 684 01:10:54,090 --> 01:10:56,593 Leave me alone. 685 01:10:56,593 --> 01:11:00,764 -And she knows this? -No, I thought I'd tell you first. 686 01:11:02,224 --> 01:11:06,394 This is...it's... 687 01:11:08,584 --> 01:11:12,755 It's cool. 688 01:11:14,319 --> 01:11:18,490 Good night, kidder. 689 01:12:09,791 --> 01:12:13,545 He was... 690 01:12:13,545 --> 01:12:17,716 He was the most beautiful baby in Bermondsey. 691 01:12:21,053 --> 01:12:24,077 I used to push him round, in a frilly hat, 692 01:12:24,077 --> 01:12:28,247 in a big blue pram called 'Queen of the Road'. 693 01:12:28,247 --> 01:12:32,418 None of that's changed. 694 01:12:38,049 --> 01:12:40,864 -You're fighting it, hon. -Fighting? 695 01:12:40,864 --> 01:12:44,827 I've been fighting all my life. 696 01:12:44,827 --> 01:12:47,538 Kids picking on him. I was there. 697 01:12:47,538 --> 01:12:51,604 Council saying bullocks to benefit. I was there. 698 01:12:51,604 --> 01:12:55,358 When I had three pee in my purse and an empty fridge, I went robbing for that boy. 699 01:12:55,358 --> 01:12:59,529 So don't talk to me about fighting. 700 01:12:59,529 --> 01:13:03,700 You? What have you ever had to fight for in your life? 701 01:13:11,103 --> 01:13:15,065 Thank you. Thank you to all members of the Academy. 702 01:13:15,065 --> 01:13:17,359 This award means so much to me. 703 01:13:17,359 --> 01:13:21,322 I've never won anything in my life before. 704 01:13:21,322 --> 01:13:25,492 I'd like to thank my manager and my band. But most of all... 705 01:13:25,805 --> 01:13:29,246 -I'd like to thank one very special person. -What the... 706 01:13:29,246 --> 01:13:32,687 The woman from whom all energy flows. 707 01:13:32,687 --> 01:13:36,128 This award is as much hers as mine. 708 01:13:36,128 --> 01:13:40,299 The woman who gives me so much... inspiration. 709 01:13:41,029 --> 01:13:43,844 -Let's hear it for her...Mama San! -Leah. 710 01:13:43,844 --> 01:13:46,660 -People say to me, they say... -Leah, are you drunk? 711 01:13:46,660 --> 01:13:50,205 -'Where d'you get your energy from?' -Leah...it's two o'clock in the morning. 712 01:13:50,205 --> 01:13:52,394 -And I say, "Hey... -Has she taken something? 713 01:13:52,394 --> 01:13:54,480 -Mama San.' -Is your mother in? 714 01:13:54,480 --> 01:13:58,651 Mama San, get on down, honey. Your vibes are shooting through me now. 715 01:13:58,859 --> 01:14:03,030 -Is she working nights? -Don't ever let the light leave you, Mama San. 716 01:14:03,969 --> 01:14:07,931 Rose! Leah, get your keys out. Hurry up. 717 01:14:07,931 --> 01:14:10,121 Have you taken like a trip, you know? 718 01:14:10,121 --> 01:14:14,291 -Jamie! Leah, let me have your keys please. -Don't shout at her. 719 01:14:14,917 --> 01:14:17,732 -You're giving me bad vibes, Mama. -She's on something. 720 01:14:17,732 --> 01:14:20,026 Jamie!! 721 01:14:20,026 --> 01:14:24,197 -You're an old man, and I don't like old men. -That's cool, it's no problem. 722 01:14:25,136 --> 01:14:28,160 Well, it is a problem actually, Tony, don't pander to her 723 01:14:28,160 --> 01:14:30,454 -What's going on? -Rose?! 724 01:14:30,454 --> 01:14:34,624 I saw a video about Woodstock once. 725 01:14:35,146 --> 01:14:39,317 Leah, get in here and turn your bloody music down! 726 01:14:40,151 --> 01:14:41,506 -Oh my God! Tony! -Leah, what the... 727 01:14:41,506 --> 01:14:44,322 -Bloody hell, Leah! -Tony, get her down! Tony! 728 01:14:44,322 --> 01:14:48,492 Leah. Leah, have you taken a trip, you know? 729 01:14:49,744 --> 01:14:51,099 -Get down, you silly cow. -Sandra!! 730 01:14:51,099 --> 01:14:53,706 'Ere, body language, Tony! 731 01:14:53,706 --> 01:14:56,834 -Oi!! You!! Pack it in, will ya! -Oi!! Arseh !! Fuck off!! 732 01:14:56,834 --> 01:14:59,545 -There's no need for that y'arl hewer!! -Oh, Jamie, help us! 733 01:14:59,545 --> 01:15:02,256 -Betty, it's them again! -I can see that. 734 01:15:02,256 --> 01:15:05,802 Right? 735 01:15:05,802 --> 01:15:09,972 -How am I supposed to sleep with that row going on? -It's all right, babes, you're safe. 736 01:15:10,911 --> 01:15:13,622 -Oh, I'll be glad to get off this bloody estate. -What? 737 01:15:13,622 --> 01:15:17,793 -I've been offered a job if you must know. 738 01:15:18,835 --> 01:15:23,006 Temporary licensee in a pub in Rotherhithe. Nice little flat above it. 739 01:15:23,319 --> 01:15:25,405 Thanks for telling me. 740 01:15:25,405 --> 01:15:29,158 Snap! 741 01:15:29,158 --> 01:15:31,348 -Leah?! -Oh, leave the silly cow. 742 01:15:31,348 --> 01:15:33,225 We can't just... 743 01:15:33,225 --> 01:15:37,396 Tony! Tony! 744 01:15:41,462 --> 01:15:44,173 Right, Jamie indoors. 745 01:15:44,173 --> 01:15:47,510 Ste, she knows. 746 01:15:47,510 --> 01:15:49,491 -Me mum knows. -Oh why d'you have to go and grass? 747 01:15:49,491 --> 01:15:51,889 -I never! -Well, how comes she knows? 748 01:15:51,889 --> 01:15:56,060 Because she never came down with the last shower. 749 01:16:02,108 --> 01:16:06,279 Jamie, get 'im a hanky. There's a box of autumnal shades by me bed. 750 01:16:20,877 --> 01:16:27,550 Leah!! 751 01:16:27,550 --> 01:16:31,721 Mama Cass!! 752 01:16:37,247 --> 01:16:40,688 I don't believe in secrets. 753 01:16:40,688 --> 01:16:44,651 I like people to be straight up and honest. 754 01:16:44,651 --> 01:16:46,840 But I'm not fool. 755 01:16:46,840 --> 01:16:50,698 D'you think I want these flats infamous for child murder? No. So I won't be telling your dad. 756 01:16:50,698 --> 01:16:52,784 He'd kill me. 757 01:16:52,784 --> 01:16:54,869 -Yeah, I just said that. -No, he would! 758 01:16:54,869 --> 01:16:57,685 Yeah, I think we've established that already actually, Ste! 759 01:16:57,685 --> 01:17:01,856 -They all would! All of them! -I'll bloody kill you in a minute if you don't stop sniveling and shut up! 760 01:17:09,989 --> 01:17:14,160 You're a good lad. And that's what counts. 761 01:17:16,141 --> 01:17:19,269 And...somewhere.. 762 01:17:19,269 --> 01:17:23,440 -you'll find people that won't wanna kill you. -No I won't. 763 01:17:24,482 --> 01:17:26,568 -Well, you've found the Gloucester. -I hate it. 764 01:17:26,568 --> 01:17:30,739 -Well, somewhere else then, shut up. -There aint nowhere else. 765 01:17:33,658 --> 01:17:37,829 There is actually, Ste. 766 01:17:37,829 --> 01:17:41,270 There's an island in the Mediterranean called Lesbian, 767 01:17:41,270 --> 01:17:45,441 and all its inhabitants are dykes. So, I think you got your eye wiped there. 768 01:17:49,716 --> 01:17:53,887 Now wipe 'em properly. 769 01:18:09,319 --> 01:18:13,490 -Fuck me. -No, we'll have none of that here. 770 01:18:15,471 --> 01:18:18,391 I'm going to bed. 771 01:18:18,391 --> 01:18:21,102 Five minutes. 772 01:18:21,102 --> 01:18:25,273 Right, Sandra. Night, Sandra. Cheers, Sandra. 773 01:18:25,690 --> 01:18:29,861 Yeah, that's me name, Ste, don't wear it out, eh? 774 01:20:16,426 --> 01:20:20,597 -I wished I was the one that was going away. -Nothing ever happens round here. 775 01:20:21,118 --> 01:20:25,080 I gets up in the morning, bake me face in half a ton o'slap, 776 01:20:25,080 --> 01:20:28,834 tong me hair with yesterday's lacquer. And that's it. 777 01:20:28,834 --> 01:20:32,171 It's the same every bleeding day. 778 01:20:32,171 --> 01:20:34,882 There's fuck all to look forward to. 779 01:20:34,882 --> 01:20:39,053 -What 'bout your new school? -Fell through. 780 01:20:39,157 --> 01:20:41,868 -D'you wanna come to the Gloucester? -Do what? 781 01:20:41,868 --> 01:20:43,328 Gay pub. 782 01:20:43,328 --> 01:20:46,039 -Don't know any gay blokes. -Yes you do. 783 01:20:46,039 --> 01:20:50,210 -Yeah? -Yeah. 784 01:20:50,940 --> 01:20:53,651 -There'd be plenty o'men. -Yeah. 785 01:20:53,651 --> 01:20:57,822 And they all dance backwards and never get married. 786 01:21:00,741 --> 01:21:03,139 See, I told you. 787 01:21:03,139 --> 01:21:04,912 You're going Woolwich, intya? 788 01:21:04,912 --> 01:21:06,997 -What? -Yeah. 789 01:21:06,997 --> 01:21:11,168 -Pub crawl then Stars Nightclub. -You'll pull dressed like that. 790 01:21:13,984 --> 01:21:18,155 Why don't you come down to the Gloucester with us? 791 01:21:21,178 --> 01:21:24,932 -Ring the other girls and tell 'em you'll meet 'em later. -Jamie! 792 01:21:24,932 --> 01:21:29,103 You don't know how to enjoy yourselves, do you? 793 01:21:29,937 --> 01:21:34,108 There's a male stripper on tonight as well. 794 01:21:38,800 --> 01:21:42,554 -Louise. -Yeah? 795 01:21:42,554 --> 01:21:46,725 I will never have grandchildren. 796 01:21:46,933 --> 01:21:51,104 Ah. 797 01:21:55,796 --> 01:21:58,925 -Don't suppose you've got any jobs in your new pub? -No. 798 01:21:58,925 --> 01:22:03,095 But if I ever do turn it into a brothel, I'll get back to you, okay? 799 01:22:03,825 --> 01:22:06,641 Well...gotta get in. Get ready. 800 01:22:06,641 --> 01:22:10,394 I'm going out with Ste and Jamie tonight. 801 01:22:10,394 --> 01:22:14,565 -The Gloucester? -Yeah. I intend to find myself a nice dyke tonight. 802 01:22:16,234 --> 01:22:20,405 Coz I'm telling you, I'm through with men. 803 01:22:29,685 --> 01:22:33,856 -Well, if I had a camera now. -What? 804 01:22:33,856 --> 01:22:37,401 -Well, I'd take your picture. -Tony. What are you doing? 805 01:22:37,401 --> 01:22:41,572 -Can't keep away from you, babes. -I told you I was going out with the girls from work. 806 01:22:41,780 --> 01:22:45,430 -Thought I could tag along. -It's a girls' night out, you'll only be bored. 807 01:22:45,430 --> 01:22:48,454 -I want to celebrate too. -Yeah, I know, but I told you. 808 01:22:48,454 --> 01:22:50,539 They'd mind? 809 01:22:50,539 --> 01:22:54,501 I'll mind. 810 01:22:54,501 --> 01:22:58,672 How about one little kiss to send me on my way. Something to think of till tomorrow. 811 01:22:58,985 --> 01:23:02,217 Stop it. 812 01:23:02,217 --> 01:23:06,388 Well, I'll ring you. 813 01:23:08,578 --> 01:23:12,540 -Tony. -Look, when's your next night off? 814 01:23:12,540 --> 01:23:15,147 No. 815 01:23:15,147 --> 01:23:19,005 No. Tony. I think you better go. 816 01:23:19,005 --> 01:23:23,176 'Ere, stick that down the chute for us, will ya? 817 01:23:48,201 --> 01:23:52,372 -What you doing? -Staying in. 818 01:24:11,141 --> 01:24:15,312 -Laters. -Yeah. 819 01:24:29,284 --> 01:24:32,308 You'll be seduced by a lesbian, Leah. 820 01:24:32,308 --> 01:24:36,166 You'll be seduced by a lesbian, Leah. Why don't you come the bingo with me? 821 01:24:36,166 --> 01:24:40,337 But don't you see, Mum? I am a lesbian! 822 01:24:48,678 --> 01:24:52,849 Oh no! 823 01:25:02,234 --> 01:25:06,405 -Anyone about? -Nah. 824 01:25:13,078 --> 01:25:17,249 Dance with me. 825 01:26:16,788 --> 01:26:20,959 'Ere, Leah. Gizza little drag on that. 826 01:26:31,386 --> 01:26:35,557 Come on then. 827 01:26:59,435 --> 01:27:01,520 -'Ere, Ste! -What? 828 01:27:01,520 --> 01:27:05,691 Imagine your dad's face! 829 01:27:13,928 --> 01:27:15,492 -'Ere, Leah. -What? 830 01:27:15,492 --> 01:27:19,663 -What's this dyke gonna be like? -Ooh, big and butch. 831 01:27:20,185 --> 01:27:23,000 -What color eyes? -Green. 832 01:27:23,000 --> 01:27:25,503 -Tall? -I'll have to look up.