1
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:25,450
[CHANTING]
2
00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:08,660
[PUPPETS "SPEAKING" TIBETAN]
3
00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:21,710
[MONKS CHANTING]
4
00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:14,960
[SOFT, EXCITED EXCLAMATIONS]
5
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[CHIRPING]
6
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[CHIRPING]
7
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[CHIRPING]
8
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[DOOR OPENS]
9
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:33,470
[MEN YELLING]
10
00:04:41,470 --> 00:04:42,970
Don't let him touch you!
11
00:06:51,900 --> 00:06:53,170
Butt Pie.
12
00:06:55,330 --> 00:06:58,900
There's a sequel to a book
written called Butt Cake.
13
00:06:59,370 --> 00:07:04,170
Very popular at the newsstands,
about this butt with cake all over it.
14
00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:11,140
Chunky Asses?
15
00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:19,660
Welcome to the Mel Backman Journal.
I'm Mel Backman.
16
00:08:19,690 --> 00:08:22,760
And here with me
today is Chandler Jarrell,
17
00:08:22,780 --> 00:08:25,280
who is doing something
very vital to the community...
18
00:08:25,310 --> 00:08:26,970
or for the community,
I should say,
19
00:08:27,010 --> 00:08:31,050
because Chandler is a finder
of lost children. Am I correct?
20
00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:33,130
Yes, I find missing children.
21
00:08:33,940 --> 00:08:35,590
That-- That's very interesting.
22
00:08:35,620 --> 00:08:38,430
You know, there was a show called a couple
years back called Finder of Lost Loves.
23
00:08:38,460 --> 00:08:39,680
Did you ever see that?
24
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:42,660
Tony Franciosa, I believe,
was the star of that.
25
00:08:42,680 --> 00:08:43,910
Uh, yeah.
Uh, listen,
26
00:08:43,950 --> 00:08:46,490
- I'm looking for this girl...
- I hope you're not nervous, are you?
27
00:08:46,510 --> 00:08:47,980
Wh-Which is perfectly normal
28
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:51,690
because this-- this is my fifth
show and I'm-- I'm still nervous.
29
00:08:51,710 --> 00:08:54,030
In fact, is there anyone
here who's not nervous?
30
00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:55,270
Are you nervous?
31
00:08:56,500 --> 00:08:59,090
Listen, I'm trying to find this girl.
Her name is Cheryl Mosely.
32
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:00,460
She disappeared a while back...
33
00:09:00,490 --> 00:09:03,110
This is wonderful
because this is exactly what...
34
00:09:03,140 --> 00:09:05,630
uh, the Mel Backman
Report is all about.
35
00:09:05,730 --> 00:09:08,240
When I first came to RST
Cable, I told them I--
36
00:09:08,260 --> 00:09:11,590
I don't wanna be another
Merv... another Johnny. I--
37
00:09:11,740 --> 00:09:16,100
I wanna do the kind of vital programming
that is responsive to the community.
38
00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:20,200
Listen, I'm trying to find this girl.
Her name is Cheryl Mosely.
39
00:09:20,230 --> 00:09:21,600
She's four foot, eleven, av--
40
00:09:21,620 --> 00:09:24,380
This is wonderful.
Um... uh...
41
00:09:24,930 --> 00:09:27,400
Let's say I'm a young person,
I wanna get into your line of work.
42
00:09:27,420 --> 00:09:30,780
Is there a course I can take
at a community college, or...?
43
00:09:31,460 --> 00:09:33,460
All you have to do is
care about children, all right?
44
00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:35,320
Do you recommend
this line of work?
45
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,020
Can you make a lot
of money doing this?
46
00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:40,450
Her name is Cheryl Mosely.
She's 16--
47
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:41,690
This is a little off
the subject, but, you know,
48
00:09:41,710 --> 00:09:44,180
that's a wonderfully unique hat.
49
00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:45,750
Can I ask you
where you got that?
50
00:09:46,570 --> 00:09:49,290
She's 16 years old
and I'm trying to find her, and--
51
00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:51,820
Great. Well, let's sa--
let's say you do find her. Um...
52
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,080
what would you say to her?
What would be
53
00:09:53,110 --> 00:09:55,250
the first thing
that would pop into your head?
54
00:09:57,850 --> 00:10:00,800
She's 16 years old,
her name is Cheryl Mosely, and--
55
00:10:00,830 --> 00:10:02,290
Thank you so much, Chandler.
56
00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:05,580
Now, let's-- let's talk about tortoises.
Judy, what have we got here? This is great.
57
00:10:05,610 --> 00:10:08,550
- Oh, this is Teddy and he's 80 years old.
- Real-- 80?
58
00:10:08,580 --> 00:10:10,290
- Isn't he darling?
- He's wonder--
59
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:11,380
Teddy can kiss my ass.
60
00:10:11,410 --> 00:10:13,040
Listen, I'm trying
to find this girl.
61
00:10:13,060 --> 00:10:14,580
Okay, her name is
Cheryl Mosely.
62
00:10:14,620 --> 00:10:17,380
She was last seen on Vineland
down in North Hollywood.
63
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:18,920
She had on a
sweater and a skirt.
64
00:10:18,940 --> 00:10:22,710
I'd appreciate if you'd contacted me
at 468-8492 if you have any--
65
00:10:22,730 --> 00:10:23,750
- Thank you, Chandler.
- No, shut up, man.
66
00:10:23,770 --> 00:10:26,140
If you have any information
that could lead to the finding of this girl,
67
00:10:26,170 --> 00:10:27,700
I'd appreciate
if you contacted me.
68
00:10:27,730 --> 00:10:30,690
Yo, hey, if you don't put the camera
ba-- I'll bust your ass, man.
69
00:10:30,710 --> 00:10:31,710
Leave the camera on me.
70
00:10:31,740 --> 00:10:35,790
Cheryl Mosely, Chandler Jarrell,
24 hours a day, 468-8492.
71
00:10:35,810 --> 00:10:38,330
Now you can talk about whatever
you want to talk about with the tortoises,
72
00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:39,750
and whatever.
Excuse me.
73
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:42,390
Thank you, thank you.
That was Chandler Jarrell.
74
00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:44,960
Well, I understand
that you've had a sex change.
75
00:10:44,980 --> 00:10:46,030
Correct.
76
00:10:46,050 --> 00:10:48,600
[EXCITED SHOUTING]
77
00:10:57,850 --> 00:10:59,290
Okay, now, let's go.
Take it slow, now.
78
00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:00,590
- [SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
- Tie him, tie him.
79
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:03,580
Yo, yo, yo, what y'all hanging
in the back of the court for?
80
00:11:03,610 --> 00:11:05,890
Man, that was Reg's shot, all right.
Let's go. All right, hit Vaughn.
81
00:11:05,910 --> 00:11:08,550
There you go. All the way, boys.
It's you, it's you, it's you!
82
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:11,260
- Yes!
- BOYS: Yeah!
83
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,260
All right, all right, all right.
Come on, now.
84
00:11:15,350 --> 00:11:18,650
Yo, man, what's wrong with you,
you scrub? You just managed to scrub.
85
00:11:19,630 --> 00:11:20,640
Scrub.
86
00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:29,210
- Good afternoon, Mr. Jarrell.
- Hi.
87
00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:31,540
So you're the finder
of lost children.
88
00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:33,390
Oh, you must have
saw me on television.
89
00:11:33,410 --> 00:11:35,470
Yeah,
I like working with children.
90
00:11:35,660 --> 00:11:38,120
Hey, Chandler,
come on, will you, okay?!
91
00:11:38,220 --> 00:11:39,220
Shut up!
92
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:44,920
- A child has been kidnapped.
- When?
93
00:11:44,940 --> 00:11:46,680
Five days ago
in north-eastern Tibet.
94
00:11:46,700 --> 00:11:48,030
[CHUCKLING]
95
00:11:48,060 --> 00:11:50,480
Well, Tibet's a little bit
out of my territory.
96
00:11:50,540 --> 00:11:52,400
This child is special,
Mr. Jarrell.
97
00:11:53,210 --> 00:11:55,150
His destiny is
to save the world.
98
00:11:55,170 --> 00:11:56,760
Mmm, that's a good destiny.
99
00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:58,710
Hey, Chandler,
throw the ball!
100
00:11:59,670 --> 00:12:00,840
Here!
101
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:02,870
Four hundred years ago,
102
00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:05,540
the Neuchung Oracle predicted
that the Gompen Tarma--
103
00:12:05,870 --> 00:12:07,880
that is Tibetan
for "Golden Child"--
104
00:12:07,910 --> 00:12:11,270
would be taken to the new city,
the City of the Angels,
105
00:12:11,290 --> 00:12:13,790
and would be rescued
by a man who is no angel.
106
00:12:13,930 --> 00:12:14,810
And who's that?
107
00:12:14,970 --> 00:12:16,050
You, Mr. Jarrell.
108
00:12:16,190 --> 00:12:17,430
[LAUGHING]
109
00:12:17,750 --> 00:12:20,280
Yeah, right. Okay.
[LAUGHING]
110
00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:21,650
I'm in the middle
of a basketball game,
111
00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:23,880
although I'd love
to stay and chat with you.
112
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:27,470
This looks like a big joint.
113
00:12:28,310 --> 00:12:29,900
I'm serious, Mr. Jarrell.
114
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:33,230
Lick it and smoke it.
[LAUGHING]
115
00:12:33,250 --> 00:12:35,980
I think there was two of these,
and you smoked the other one.
116
00:12:36,010 --> 00:12:37,250
[LAUGHING]
117
00:12:37,650 --> 00:12:40,620
Just put it in your bag
and stop smoking scrolls.
118
00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:43,170
You know, it looks like a joint,
and you might get jumped
119
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,900
by some Rastafarians walking
around with this, so put it away.
120
00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:48,830
Excuse me, I have a game to play.
It was a nice talking to you.
121
00:12:48,850 --> 00:12:51,340
I realize it's very hard
for you to take in,
122
00:12:51,700 --> 00:12:53,780
but it's your destiny
to find the Golden Child.
123
00:12:53,810 --> 00:12:56,970
And it's your destiny to seek
some serious psychiatric help.
124
00:12:57,100 --> 00:13:00,740
Really. Excuse me.
Can I go and play now? Please, go home?
125
00:13:00,770 --> 00:13:03,770
Excuse me.
And such a cute girl, too.
126
00:13:04,380 --> 00:13:07,660
Dope fiend!
[LAUGHING]
127
00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:11,400
- [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
- [POLICE SIREN]
128
00:13:11,420 --> 00:13:12,480
Is that her?
129
00:13:13,020 --> 00:13:14,580
Yeah, that's Cheryl Mosely.
130
00:13:15,310 --> 00:13:16,710
How long's she been missing?
131
00:13:17,370 --> 00:13:18,470
About three weeks.
132
00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:22,750
- What do you got?
- Not much.
133
00:13:22,780 --> 00:13:24,770
Three days ago,
the rental sign goes down
134
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:28,280
and a white truck backs over the lawn,
right up to the front door.
135
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:31,620
The neighbors hear this continual,
low murmur night and day.
136
00:13:31,650 --> 00:13:33,270
Then, at 10:00 last night,
137
00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:35,980
the white truck pulls up
again and the murmuring stops.
138
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:40,480
One of the neighbors comes out to shut up
his dog who won't come down the hill.
139
00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:43,550
He looks over the fence
and finds the body.
140
00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:56,410
- Who rented the place?
- She did. By phone, mailed in cash.
141
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:01,390
DETECTIVE: Did you take
that referral I sent you?
142
00:14:01,410 --> 00:14:04,330
- CHANDLER: Nope.
- Then you only take the kid cases?
143
00:14:04,940 --> 00:14:05,960
Yep.
144
00:14:06,910 --> 00:14:10,360
Uh, listen, get a few more
shots in here, would you?
145
00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:23,340
DETECTIVE: Now make sure you cover
that plum over there, correct?
146
00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:35,250
DETECTIVE:
Okay, let's wrap it.
147
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,480
Okay, Miss Tibet,
you can come out now!
148
00:15:49,510 --> 00:15:52,250
Stop following me around!
I'm not gonna take your case!
149
00:15:52,350 --> 00:15:53,540
You're already on it.
150
00:15:55,270 --> 00:15:57,750
Look, what makes you think
the kid was in the house?
151
00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:01,650
This is a restraint curse.
152
00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:04,520
They must restrain him both
spiritually and physically.
153
00:16:04,770 --> 00:16:07,810
They need to keep evil on all
four sides of him at all times.
154
00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:10,060
Just the writing wouldn't be
enough, though.
155
00:16:10,090 --> 00:16:12,410
They'd need to augment
it with something else.
156
00:16:12,730 --> 00:16:13,410
Or what?
157
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:15,780
Or the child will
project himself astrally.
158
00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:19,080
[LAUGHING]
159
00:16:22,490 --> 00:16:23,710
Give me a break.
160
00:16:28,790 --> 00:16:31,210
So you're telling me
that the people that killed Cheryl...
161
00:16:31,510 --> 00:16:32,920
if I find them...
162
00:16:33,780 --> 00:16:36,380
they're the same people
that kidnapped the...
163
00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:38,620
- Golden Child. Exactly, yes.
- ...the Golden kid.
164
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:39,780
Right.
165
00:16:40,450 --> 00:16:41,790
But why would
they kill Cheryl?
166
00:16:42,060 --> 00:16:42,900
I don't know.
167
00:16:43,350 --> 00:16:44,750
And why are they
feeding the kid blood?
168
00:16:45,020 --> 00:16:46,030
Are you sure?
169
00:16:46,810 --> 00:16:48,760
I found a bowl of oatmeal...
170
00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:50,350
Yes?
171
00:16:50,620 --> 00:16:54,510
...with some blood in the bottom of it,
and it's probably hers.
172
00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:57,700
I don't know.
173
00:16:58,230 --> 00:17:00,130
There is somebody
we could ask about the blood.
174
00:17:00,550 --> 00:17:02,110
This is L.A., though.
175
00:17:02,140 --> 00:17:03,320
You're going to ask
somebody about the blood?
176
00:17:03,340 --> 00:17:05,420
Um, are they
in this world?
177
00:17:05,870 --> 00:17:07,890
or do we have to project there?
[SCOFFS]
178
00:17:07,910 --> 00:17:10,690
Some part of the galaxy.
[CHUCKLING]
179
00:17:18,710 --> 00:17:22,160
[SPEAKING TIBETAN]
180
00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:23,720
Ah, Mr. Jarrell.
181
00:17:24,070 --> 00:17:25,950
DR. HONG: You honor
my shop with your presence.
182
00:17:25,970 --> 00:17:30,370
[SPEAKING TIBETAN]
183
00:17:31,980 --> 00:17:35,320
He says he's very pleased
to meet a man as great as you.
184
00:17:35,350 --> 00:17:37,260
Oh. How do you say,
"Thank you"?
185
00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:38,370
Doaje.
186
00:17:38,810 --> 00:17:39,820
"Dodata."
187
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:43,920
[SPEAKING TIBETAN]
188
00:17:47,610 --> 00:17:48,980
KEE NANG:
We must speak to Kala.
189
00:17:50,700 --> 00:17:53,150
Yeah, okay.
Hey!
190
00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:55,650
[CONTINUES IN TIBETAN]
191
00:18:13,790 --> 00:18:14,650
Mr. Jarrell.
192
00:18:25,970 --> 00:18:28,500
You may speak with her.
She can hear you.
193
00:18:32,510 --> 00:18:34,010
Tell me about the Golden Child.
194
00:18:35,410 --> 00:18:39,670
[IN ETHEREAL VOICE] Every thousand
generations, a perfect child is born...
195
00:18:40,730 --> 00:18:42,240
a Golden Child.
196
00:18:43,630 --> 00:18:45,880
He has come to rescue us.
197
00:18:47,780 --> 00:18:48,940
Rescue us from what?
198
00:18:49,100 --> 00:18:51,350
[BLOWS SMOKE]
From ourselves.
199
00:18:51,830 --> 00:18:52,700
Ah.
200
00:18:52,730 --> 00:18:54,840
KALA: He is
the Bringer of Compassion.
201
00:18:55,370 --> 00:18:59,140
If he dies,
compassion will die with him.
202
00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:02,230
So, if something happens to the kid,
the whole world goes to hell?
203
00:19:02,390 --> 00:19:03,730
The world will become hell!
204
00:19:04,330 --> 00:19:05,470
Ahh.
205
00:19:06,770 --> 00:19:08,330
[CHUCKLING]
Not far from that now.
206
00:19:08,360 --> 00:19:10,640
Listen, who would want
to take the kid, anyway?
207
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:14,420
Those who want evil
rather than good.
208
00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:19,890
Can you be a little
bit more specific?
209
00:19:20,180 --> 00:19:22,360
We do not know
who took him.
210
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,290
Well,
could you tell me why
211
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:26,190
the people that took him are
trying to make him eat blood?
212
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:29,060
Nothing in this
world will hurt him.
213
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:30,320
KALA: But...
214
00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:33,810
if he were to pollute himself
with anything impure,
215
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:36,710
KALA:
...he would become vulnerable.
216
00:19:37,380 --> 00:19:40,890
Okay. So if they...
217
00:19:41,090 --> 00:19:42,700
If he eats the blood...
218
00:19:43,130 --> 00:19:44,220
they could kill him.
219
00:19:44,410 --> 00:19:46,530
- KALA: Yes.
- Oh.
220
00:19:47,710 --> 00:19:49,920
Do you have
any other questions?
221
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:54,560
- As a matter of fact, I do.
- [KALA BLOWS SMOKE]
222
00:19:55,130 --> 00:19:57,880
What are you doing this weekend,
because your silhouette is kicking!
223
00:19:58,260 --> 00:20:00,570
[RATTLING]
224
00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:04,010
[SPEAKING TIBETAN]
225
00:20:04,450 --> 00:20:05,810
She plays the maracas, too?
226
00:20:08,590 --> 00:20:10,100
This is the Chosen One?
227
00:20:10,970 --> 00:20:12,630
[CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY]
Yes.
228
00:20:13,210 --> 00:20:14,990
You know, you people
certainly do put on a good show.
229
00:20:15,010 --> 00:20:16,310
Where'd you find her at?
230
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:19,460
She's the librarian
at the Secret Repository at Palkor Sin.
231
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:21,190
She was flown here
to help us.
232
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,270
She's over 300 years old.
233
00:20:24,110 --> 00:20:25,550
How'd she manage that one?
234
00:20:25,860 --> 00:20:28,470
One of her ancestors was
raped by a dragon.
235
00:20:31,620 --> 00:20:33,800
Does that happen a lot
where you're from?
236
00:20:35,140 --> 00:20:36,590
[CHUCKLING]
237
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:45,940
[BRAKES SQUEAK]
238
00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:49,940
Look, I'm sorry I got a little harsh.
Why don't you come up for a while?
239
00:20:50,220 --> 00:20:51,400
No, thank you.
240
00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:57,610
Oh.
241
00:20:58,910 --> 00:20:59,830
Ah!
242
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:03,310
- What is it?
- The spirits. The spirits.
243
00:21:04,740 --> 00:21:06,390
A spirit's just told me...
244
00:21:06,730 --> 00:21:08,050
that you should come up...
245
00:21:08,630 --> 00:21:10,260
for a little while...
246
00:21:11,230 --> 00:21:12,500
and have a drink...
247
00:21:12,530 --> 00:21:14,450
and wait
for further instructions.
248
00:21:17,820 --> 00:21:19,360
[LAUGHING]
249
00:21:19,380 --> 00:21:21,260
Look, I'm sorry. Wha--
I'm-I'm sorry. I--
250
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,550
Wh-- Uh, why don't you come up
for a while? I'll be good.
251
00:21:25,410 --> 00:21:26,720
Mm-kay.
252
00:21:28,250 --> 00:21:29,130
I tried.
253
00:21:29,390 --> 00:21:30,390
[DOOR SHUTS]
254
00:21:30,660 --> 00:21:31,660
You know...
255
00:21:31,990 --> 00:21:34,990
they say you should always give a woman
two chances to say no, just in case.
256
00:21:35,150 --> 00:21:36,730
That's "no," twice.
257
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:38,200
All right...
258
00:21:39,300 --> 00:21:41,280
but the spirits are
going to be very upset.
259
00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:44,500
You know,
I am the Chosen One.
260
00:21:51,530 --> 00:21:54,150
[LAUGHING]
Mm-kay.
261
00:22:06,810 --> 00:22:08,850
[HELICOPTER]
262
00:23:51,210 --> 00:23:52,330
[♪ PUTTING ON THE RITZ]
263
00:23:52,690 --> 00:23:54,580
[LAUGHING]
264
00:23:55,230 --> 00:23:58,160
[♪ CONTINUES]
265
00:24:26,850 --> 00:24:28,410
You will eat.
266
00:24:33,310 --> 00:24:36,890
Get this, and the rest
of your playthings, out of here.
267
00:26:17,150 --> 00:26:18,290
[CHIRPING]
268
00:26:20,670 --> 00:26:21,660
[CHIRPING]
269
00:26:23,180 --> 00:26:24,610
[CHIRPING]
270
00:26:26,450 --> 00:26:27,370
Hey, bird!
271
00:26:28,360 --> 00:26:32,330
Did you just see a little Hare Krishna
midget in a tree... floating?
272
00:26:33,110 --> 00:26:35,780
- Or is it me?
- [PHONE RINGING]
273
00:26:36,750 --> 00:26:39,330
- [PHONE RINGING]
- It must be Rod Serling.
274
00:26:40,740 --> 00:26:41,640
Yeah?
275
00:26:41,660 --> 00:26:44,110
MAN [ON PHONE]: You the guy
on TV looking for Cheryl Mosely?
276
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:45,360
Yeah.
277
00:26:45,380 --> 00:26:47,750
I know the bastards
who grabbed her.
278
00:26:48,650 --> 00:26:50,250
Uh, hol--
Okay, who was she with?
279
00:26:50,270 --> 00:26:52,450
Look, have you ever
been to Pacoima?
280
00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:53,560
Yeah.
Who was she with, though?
281
00:26:53,590 --> 00:26:55,590
Behind the freeway
there's a house.
282
00:26:55,620 --> 00:26:58,820
It's a pad for some bikers
called the Yellow Dragons.
283
00:26:58,850 --> 00:27:01,320
She was with them last week,
but she ain't there now.
284
00:27:01,340 --> 00:27:02,990
Okay.
Um, who is this?
285
00:27:03,980 --> 00:27:05,560
- Hello?
- [DIAL TONE]
286
00:27:07,660 --> 00:27:08,860
[RECEIVER SETS
INTO CRADLE]
287
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:42,370
- What is it?
- CHANDLER: Nothing.
288
00:27:44,310 --> 00:27:48,240
Look, I came prepared in case
we had any other eventualities.
289
00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:49,380
Listen...
290
00:27:49,820 --> 00:27:51,950
you wait here.
291
00:27:52,140 --> 00:27:55,080
If there's a problem, you leave.
Now, what are you going to do?
292
00:27:55,900 --> 00:27:59,160
- I'll stay here.
- No. You stay here now.
293
00:27:59,930 --> 00:28:03,490
Now, if there's a problem,
get behind the wheel, drive away.
294
00:28:03,630 --> 00:28:04,460
Understand me?
295
00:28:05,050 --> 00:28:06,780
- Okay? You got that?
- Okay. Yes.
296
00:28:07,250 --> 00:28:09,260
Stay, leave. Okay.
297
00:28:30,940 --> 00:28:32,670
[GASPING]
298
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:35,650
I'm not gonna hurt anybody.
299
00:28:35,740 --> 00:28:37,100
I don't want no trouble.
300
00:28:37,270 --> 00:28:39,330
No-- Ah, nah!
No trouble. I just...
301
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:42,990
I-- I'm sorry. I just...
I just want some chips.
302
00:28:43,540 --> 00:28:44,700
I want some chips,
that's all.
303
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:47,460
All I want's some chips.
See? A chip, that's it.
304
00:28:47,890 --> 00:28:49,040
Turn that over, man,
it's burning.
305
00:28:49,070 --> 00:28:50,660
It's burning.
Turn it over! It's burning!
306
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:52,370
I just want some chips.
307
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:06,740
[LOUD ROCK PLAYS]
308
00:29:31,340 --> 00:29:35,780
[CHATTER]
309
00:29:35,980 --> 00:29:38,720
Hey, may I ask you boys
a couple of questions?
310
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:22,130
- That'll hold him.
- Yeah, that oughta hold him.
311
00:30:22,150 --> 00:30:23,820
[COUGHING]
312
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:29,180
Hey, hey, hey! In my pocket,
there's a whole thing of Tic Tacs. It's--
313
00:30:29,210 --> 00:30:31,520
Take as many as you'd like...
please.
314
00:31:26,450 --> 00:31:27,410
What are you doing here?
315
00:31:29,380 --> 00:31:30,090
Hey!
316
00:31:42,980 --> 00:31:44,990
I'll bust your brain,
asshole!
317
00:31:56,500 --> 00:31:58,320
[MOTORCYCLE STARTS]
318
00:32:10,710 --> 00:32:12,170
Why'd you come in here?
319
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:15,390
Didn't I tell you not to come i--
I told you to stay in the car!
320
00:32:15,660 --> 00:32:17,090
I'm not gonna lecture you.
321
00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:18,660
I'm not going to turn this
into a lecture,
322
00:32:18,690 --> 00:32:21,380
but next time I tell you
to do something, you do it, all right?
323
00:32:21,410 --> 00:32:22,650
This is a man thing.
324
00:32:22,670 --> 00:32:24,440
Man shit happened here.
You're not supposed to--
325
00:32:24,460 --> 00:32:26,270
This is no place for a woman to be,
you understand me?
326
00:32:27,590 --> 00:32:30,190
The next time I tell you to do something, do it.
I don't want you to get hurt. This is--
327
00:32:30,220 --> 00:32:33,420
- Okay, can I do-- handle this, okay?
- Okay.
328
00:32:37,150 --> 00:32:39,410
Leave me alone, asshole.
329
00:32:41,750 --> 00:32:44,140
You guys had a girl tattooed
with a yellow dragon a couple of days ago.
330
00:32:44,170 --> 00:32:45,320
What happened to her?
331
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:46,840
What girl?
332
00:32:50,990 --> 00:32:53,050
I never seen her before.
333
00:32:53,090 --> 00:32:54,990
Oh. Okay.
334
00:32:57,810 --> 00:32:58,810
Oh!
335
00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:03,410
Oh... Cheryl.
336
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:05,510
Yeah. Her.
337
00:33:05,650 --> 00:33:06,650
We sold her.
338
00:33:10,750 --> 00:33:12,460
What do you mean, you sold her?
You sold her to who?
339
00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:14,830
To Tommy Tong.
340
00:33:15,150 --> 00:33:17,440
He got that restaurant
down on Broadway.
341
00:33:17,740 --> 00:33:18,720
And, uh...
342
00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:24,470
we traded her... case of cigarettes
and a quart of pork fried rice.
343
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:26,450
Why would somebody
want to buy somebody?
344
00:33:27,460 --> 00:33:29,980
- He needed a girl.
- For what?
345
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:32,320
He worked this deal out
with the devil.
346
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:35,270
Said he needed her blood.
347
00:33:35,300 --> 00:33:36,060
[SCOFFS]
[CHUCKLES]
348
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:41,050
Hey, look, look...
349
00:33:41,460 --> 00:33:44,510
You're gonna go over there
and rough him up or anything, huh?
350
00:33:44,930 --> 00:33:47,020
Don't--
Don't tell him I told you.
351
00:33:47,530 --> 00:33:50,100
Oh, uh, ho...
why would I do that?
352
00:33:50,130 --> 00:33:52,580
Why would I do that?
So, let me get this right. Um...
353
00:33:54,150 --> 00:33:55,380
So you sold her?
354
00:33:55,910 --> 00:33:58,360
Yeah, we sold her.
355
00:34:09,180 --> 00:34:11,000
Wait here.
356
00:34:29,430 --> 00:34:31,190
I'm looking for Tommy Tong.
357
00:34:33,630 --> 00:34:36,580
Look, stop acting stupid.
The man owns the place, all right?
358
00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:41,000
I'm looking for Tommy Tong.
359
00:34:41,270 --> 00:34:43,140
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
360
00:34:43,420 --> 00:34:44,840
Oh, you don't speak English?
361
00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:46,550
Let me translate it for you.
362
00:34:46,570 --> 00:34:49,330
Bring Tommy Tong out here
or I'mma bust your ass.
363
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:51,390
You understand that? Huh?
364
00:34:51,570 --> 00:34:53,800
Listen.
You see this dead girl?
365
00:34:53,830 --> 00:34:55,790
The last time she was
seen alive was with Tong.
366
00:34:55,810 --> 00:34:58,860
Now you tell Mr. Tong he has a guest
or I'm gonna bust your ass!
367
00:35:10,140 --> 00:35:13,220
Let me show you how I feel
about that karate shit, okay?
368
00:35:39,850 --> 00:35:42,990
How'd you do that?
What was that... with the flip?
369
00:36:06,970 --> 00:36:09,150
[THUNDER]
370
00:36:10,650 --> 00:36:11,660
[RAT SQUEAKS]
371
00:36:43,330 --> 00:36:44,480
You killed him.
372
00:36:45,030 --> 00:36:46,320
I didn't kill him.
373
00:36:46,340 --> 00:36:47,350
What happened?
374
00:36:47,870 --> 00:36:50,380
I don't know.
Maybe the guy cut hisself shaving
375
00:36:50,410 --> 00:36:52,560
and bled to death looking for a Kleenex.
I don't--
376
00:36:52,590 --> 00:36:54,690
Really, I ain't l--
Hey!
377
00:36:55,130 --> 00:36:57,290
I don't know.
Maybe the guy thought that...
378
00:36:57,320 --> 00:36:58,440
I was coming, and
379
00:36:58,460 --> 00:37:00,900
got scared and figured,
"What the hell?" and...
380
00:37:01,940 --> 00:37:03,200
killed hisself.
381
00:37:06,710 --> 00:37:08,600
- You buy that?
- No.
382
00:37:09,580 --> 00:37:10,740
Neither do I.
383
00:37:10,770 --> 00:37:14,250
I think I should tell you we may be up
against supernatural creatures.
384
00:37:14,270 --> 00:37:16,340
- Like what?
- Demons.
385
00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:29,010
By the time he finds you...
386
00:37:30,190 --> 00:37:31,720
it will be too late.
387
00:38:01,130 --> 00:38:05,160
[VOICE DRONING]
388
00:38:12,860 --> 00:38:15,540
DEMON: You were wise
to kill Tommy Tong.
389
00:38:15,570 --> 00:38:18,700
He was weak.
He might have betrayed us.
390
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:20,330
Thank you, Lord.
391
00:38:20,350 --> 00:38:23,410
But why is the child still alive?
392
00:38:23,860 --> 00:38:25,970
You have no reason
to fear him.
393
00:38:26,110 --> 00:38:30,450
He is surrounded at all times
and in all the four directions by evil.
394
00:38:30,470 --> 00:38:33,040
Do not underestimate
the power of good
395
00:38:33,060 --> 00:38:35,920
and do not dismiss
the strength of the child.
396
00:38:35,940 --> 00:38:39,060
Time grows short.
The child will never eat the blood.
397
00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:40,450
What must I do?
398
00:38:40,630 --> 00:38:44,240
Move the child
before the Chosen One draws near.
399
00:38:44,470 --> 00:38:47,500
- And to kill him?
- DEMON: The Ajanti Dagger.
400
00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:51,140
It is not of this world.
With it, you could kill the child.
401
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:53,130
But, Lord, it is so well-guarded.
How can I--?
402
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:55,350
DEMON: Offer to exchange
the child for it.
403
00:38:55,450 --> 00:38:58,530
They can refuse nothing
for his safe return.
404
00:38:58,670 --> 00:39:04,160
Use the Ajanti Dagger.
With it, you need no other evil.
405
00:39:04,250 --> 00:39:08,180
Use the dagger
to kill the child.
406
00:39:39,590 --> 00:39:41,350
[VOICE DRONING]
407
00:39:45,810 --> 00:39:49,050
[MYSTERIOUS MOAN]
408
00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:10,220
- [HOOFBEATS]
- [NICKERING]
409
00:40:29,990 --> 00:40:33,540
- [SNARE DRUMROLL]
- [♪ ORGAN]
410
00:40:41,300 --> 00:40:43,060
It's good to see you,
Mr. "Yarrell."
411
00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:45,980
[SPEAKING JIBBERISH]
412
00:40:48,650 --> 00:40:51,330
Get your monkey, uh...
off my back.
413
00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:54,020
- [DRUM BEATS]
- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
414
00:40:54,300 --> 00:40:56,630
Of course.
Fu, please...
415
00:40:56,650 --> 00:40:57,780
retire.
416
00:40:57,860 --> 00:40:59,600
Yeah, fool, save it.
417
00:41:03,050 --> 00:41:04,420
Wait a second...
418
00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:07,250
Wait a second,
this is a dream.
419
00:41:07,780 --> 00:41:09,050
I'm dreaming!
420
00:41:09,150 --> 00:41:10,520
[CHUCKLING]
Hey...
421
00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:12,570
Why do you say that,
Mr. Yarrell?
422
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:15,780
Because, people like Fu
with his monkey face, and
423
00:41:15,800 --> 00:41:18,370
the big-head guy,
and the fat dude, and you.
424
00:41:18,390 --> 00:41:20,760
You don't exist for real.
This is a dream.
425
00:41:20,790 --> 00:41:24,150
Perhaps I've had you brought here
to make you a very attractive offer.
426
00:41:25,110 --> 00:41:28,640
Well, I don't think I can accept
a proposal this early in the season.
427
00:41:28,660 --> 00:41:31,600
- [DRUM ROLL]
- [LAUGHTER]
428
00:41:35,070 --> 00:41:36,290
Thank you.
429
00:41:37,490 --> 00:41:39,260
Has it ever
occurred to you...
430
00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:43,550
how many men of less worth than yourself
attain so many of life's rewards,
431
00:41:43,570 --> 00:41:46,750
while you, who can imagine so much,
have so very little?
432
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:49,290
I can't say that it has.
I'm not that lucky.
433
00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:51,070
I don't have that
much of imagination.
434
00:41:51,090 --> 00:41:53,330
[SNARE DRUM]
[BASS DRUM]
435
00:42:00,020 --> 00:42:02,230
I really don't like
your attitude.
436
00:42:02,380 --> 00:42:03,620
You know,
this is a nice jacket.
437
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:06,070
It's a "Morris Day" feel
and it looks good on you.
438
00:42:06,090 --> 00:42:08,260
And the boots... smoking.
439
00:42:10,890 --> 00:42:12,910
I'll repeat my offer
one last time.
440
00:42:14,670 --> 00:42:18,330
Well, I am dreaming, so I can pretty much
say anything and get away with it.
441
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:21,090
So...
I think I'll say...
442
00:42:21,890 --> 00:42:23,010
from my heart...
443
00:42:24,090 --> 00:42:25,160
kiss my ass.
444
00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:28,000
Kiss my ass!
445
00:42:28,110 --> 00:42:29,240
[KISSING SOUNDS]
446
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:32,740
I can see that it's pointless
talking to you, Mr. Yarrell.
447
00:42:33,030 --> 00:42:36,780
Why do you insist on mispronouncing
my name, leaving the "J" silent?
448
00:42:36,810 --> 00:42:39,750
- My name is "Jarrell" with a "J."
- Yes, I know.
449
00:42:41,130 --> 00:42:43,220
You know, my legs are
much more attractive.
450
00:42:43,430 --> 00:42:44,580
I'm willing to make
an exchange.
451
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:47,560
I will trade the child
for the Ajanti Dagger.
452
00:42:54,470 --> 00:42:55,480
[SEARING]
453
00:42:55,500 --> 00:42:56,670
- [SUCKS TEETH]
- Eh...
454
00:42:56,690 --> 00:42:58,640
This is just a reminder
of the evening.
455
00:42:59,780 --> 00:43:02,360
Something so that you will know
you were here.
456
00:43:03,300 --> 00:43:05,200
You're not supposed
to feel pain in your dream.
457
00:43:05,230 --> 00:43:07,510
You're going to remember
this evening for a very long time.
458
00:43:07,630 --> 00:43:09,970
Excuse me for a moment.
I'll be right back.
459
00:43:10,900 --> 00:43:14,210
Do you have any methyolate
or mercurochrome? 'Cause...
460
00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:16,100
this might get infected.
461
00:43:16,250 --> 00:43:20,360
Tell your friends
that Sardo Numspa sends his greetings.
462
00:43:25,490 --> 00:43:27,640
[DRUMROLL]
463
00:43:31,650 --> 00:43:33,790
[DRUMROLL BUILDING]
464
00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:41,950
- It's a mistake.
- [RIMSHOT]
465
00:43:42,710 --> 00:43:43,890
[CHEERING]
466
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:47,010
- Kee!
- Chandler!
467
00:43:51,790 --> 00:43:54,020
They've tied you up
in toilet paper.
468
00:43:54,370 --> 00:43:55,700
What are you doing here?
469
00:43:55,720 --> 00:43:57,580
Well, I have to be here.
It's my dream.
470
00:43:57,600 --> 00:44:00,540
Listen, I thi-- I think
the kid is here somewhere.
471
00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:01,570
And I think we should find
472
00:44:01,590 --> 00:44:02,770
- the kid together, right?
- Yes.
473
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:05,250
And then afterwards, I was thinking
maybe we could, like, spend some...
474
00:44:05,580 --> 00:44:07,030
- spend some time together, yes.
- Time together?
475
00:44:07,060 --> 00:44:08,280
Some time together,
476
00:44:08,310 --> 00:44:11,130
- kind of let nature... kind of...
- Take its course.
477
00:44:12,240 --> 00:44:14,610
- Yeah.
- [APPLAUDING AND CHEERING]
478
00:44:24,950 --> 00:44:25,820
[KEE SCREAMS]
479
00:44:28,900 --> 00:44:29,660
[KEE SCREAMS]
480
00:44:49,690 --> 00:44:51,900
KALA:
So, it is Sardo Numspa.
481
00:44:52,710 --> 00:44:54,160
What's this knife?
482
00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:57,160
The Crossed Dagger of Ajanti.
483
00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:01,830
They brought it to this world
to kill the second Golden Child...
484
00:45:03,250 --> 00:45:04,560
the Bearer of Justice.
485
00:45:06,330 --> 00:45:08,680
His death was a great loss.
486
00:45:08,820 --> 00:45:11,040
DR. HONG:
Sardo needs it to kill the child,
487
00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:13,310
but you can only
use it to save him.
488
00:45:14,030 --> 00:45:19,160
KALA: You must obtain the knife
and lure Numspa into freeing the child.
489
00:45:19,860 --> 00:45:22,690
But you must never let him
get possession of the knife.
490
00:45:23,350 --> 00:45:25,980
Well, it sounds like a pretty neat trick,
but how am I supposed to pull it off?
491
00:45:29,370 --> 00:45:30,700
[KALA BLOWS SMOKE]
492
00:45:31,310 --> 00:45:34,790
If need be, we will exchange
the dagger for the child.
493
00:45:34,820 --> 00:45:37,470
If the Abbot of Karma Tang
will let us have it.
494
00:45:37,490 --> 00:45:40,110
Wait a second.
If the kid's so important,
495
00:45:40,130 --> 00:45:42,160
why doesn't the g-- this guy
just give you the dagger?
496
00:45:42,190 --> 00:45:43,920
He's a very difficult man.
497
00:45:46,190 --> 00:45:49,950
Tomorrow, you will go with Kee Nang
to Tibet to obtain the dagger.
498
00:45:50,290 --> 00:45:53,720
Hey, man, I ain't going to no Tibet
just 'cause I had a crazy dream.
499
00:45:53,740 --> 00:45:54,750
This is getting ridiculous.
500
00:45:54,780 --> 00:45:56,740
Only the Chosen One can
obtain the knife.
501
00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:58,080
Will you go?
502
00:46:01,300 --> 00:46:02,410
Listen...
503
00:46:02,440 --> 00:46:04,100
this Chosen One thing...
504
00:46:04,390 --> 00:46:06,180
it's gone
too far now, okay?
505
00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:09,300
This is--
This is not normal, okay?
506
00:46:09,490 --> 00:46:11,620
I'm not saying no,
but I have to think this over,
507
00:46:11,650 --> 00:46:12,660
because...
508
00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:14,500
- the Chosen One thing...
- Yeah.
509
00:46:14,520 --> 00:46:15,560
too far.
510
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:17,830
Could you please
leave us for a moment?
511
00:46:17,850 --> 00:46:19,130
Yes. Y'all talk it over,
512
00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:21,950
'cause this is not a normal thing
and it should be discussed,
513
00:46:21,980 --> 00:46:23,390
'cause it's not normal.
514
00:46:23,990 --> 00:46:24,880
Talk.
515
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:26,390
CHANDLER:
Chosen One...
516
00:46:26,410 --> 00:46:28,790
I'm the Chosen One...
Uh, why...?
517
00:46:29,290 --> 00:46:31,190
Tibet.
[CHUCKLES]
518
00:46:31,480 --> 00:46:34,060
Why can't somebody choose me
to go to the Bahamas?
519
00:46:34,330 --> 00:46:38,120
I gotta get chosen to go to Tibet.
This is really... [CHUCKLES]
520
00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:40,560
CHANDLER: And Kala,
you're not a normal chick.
521
00:46:40,590 --> 00:46:42,390
You're too shy--
you need to open up.
522
00:46:42,420 --> 00:46:44,920
You can't sit in this basement
naked, smoking cigarettes,
523
00:46:45,010 --> 00:46:47,020
looking at soap operas
for the rest of your life.
524
00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:48,290
[DOOR CLOSES]
525
00:46:48,730 --> 00:46:51,310
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
526
00:47:05,370 --> 00:47:06,750
[SHOPKEEPER CLEARS THROAT]
527
00:47:07,330 --> 00:47:08,400
Yak loin.
528
00:47:09,570 --> 00:47:10,390
What is it?
529
00:47:10,450 --> 00:47:12,820
Yak loin.
Good to keep the yang up.
530
00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:17,220
[CHUCKLES]
Ain't nothin' wrong with my yang.
531
00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:24,250
Tell me how this dream
transmission thing works.
532
00:47:24,470 --> 00:47:26,480
KEE:
Part's dream and part's real.
533
00:47:26,600 --> 00:47:28,490
Okay, so the scar
on my arm's real?
534
00:47:28,510 --> 00:47:29,560
Right.
535
00:47:30,010 --> 00:47:33,330
- Well, what about Numsy?
- Numspa. Sardo Numspa.
536
00:47:33,350 --> 00:47:35,360
- Yes.
- He's very real.
537
00:47:35,380 --> 00:47:38,220
Now, you were there and you said
somee things that seemed pretty real.
538
00:47:38,890 --> 00:47:40,490
That part was dream.
539
00:47:45,220 --> 00:47:46,640
I was just checking!
540
00:47:54,610 --> 00:47:56,000
Aren't you going
to ask me up?
541
00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:01,640
Am I dreaming now?
542
00:48:01,860 --> 00:48:03,700
Does a lady have to ask twice?
543
00:48:04,250 --> 00:48:05,260
No.
544
00:48:05,560 --> 00:48:08,000
No, please...
N-- please, twice.
545
00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:09,490
Please, please.
546
00:48:09,790 --> 00:48:11,920
Shit. Twice.
547
00:48:18,860 --> 00:48:20,710
[CHANDLER WHISTLING]
548
00:48:20,730 --> 00:48:21,740
CHANDLER: Hey!
549
00:48:21,980 --> 00:48:25,150
I didn't know whether or not you wanted
cream and sugar, so I left your coffee black.
550
00:48:26,270 --> 00:48:29,350
I want you to go to Tibet.
Will you go?
551
00:48:29,960 --> 00:48:32,830
Wait a second. Now look,
I hear it's really cold in Tibet,
552
00:48:32,860 --> 00:48:34,190
and I don't like the cold.
553
00:48:34,220 --> 00:48:36,790
Why don't we just stay here,
me and you stay here,
554
00:48:36,810 --> 00:48:38,500
all weekend long
under the covers,
555
00:48:38,520 --> 00:48:42,620
and watching television,
and sweating, and smiling, and everything?
556
00:48:42,850 --> 00:48:45,670
- You won't go?
- It's freezing in Tibet.
557
00:48:46,250 --> 00:48:48,640
Hey, hey, hey,
where're you going?
558
00:48:48,770 --> 00:48:50,010
Tibet.
559
00:48:50,030 --> 00:48:53,610
But I'm the Chosen One... me.
You can't get the knife.
560
00:49:00,470 --> 00:49:01,470
I'll go.
561
00:49:02,080 --> 00:49:03,290
I'll go to Tibet.
562
00:49:04,240 --> 00:49:05,250
Wait...
563
00:49:06,100 --> 00:49:10,050
But if it's really cold,
we gotta come back here. Okay?
564
00:49:11,730 --> 00:49:14,320
You are not in a rush to leave,
like, this minute, are you?
565
00:49:14,340 --> 00:49:16,010
Because, you know...
566
00:49:21,860 --> 00:49:23,000
A bed!
567
00:49:23,840 --> 00:49:24,870
Is that a bed?
568
00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:39,760
[COUGHING]
569
00:49:40,860 --> 00:49:42,010
[SNEEZING]
570
00:49:51,470 --> 00:49:55,040
[SITAR MUSIC PLAYING]
571
00:49:55,760 --> 00:49:57,070
[COUGHING]
572
00:50:05,760 --> 00:50:07,460
[DIESEL MOTOR STARTS]
573
00:50:12,150 --> 00:50:13,970
[MOOING]
574
00:50:15,870 --> 00:50:17,860
KEE:
Kathmandu is the gateway to Tibet.
575
00:50:17,880 --> 00:50:20,900
CHANDLER: There's bulls and shit
walkin' around here. And it's cold.
576
00:50:20,920 --> 00:50:24,040
KEE: Two days into the mountains
and we will be at the heights of heaven.
577
00:50:24,070 --> 00:50:25,920
Well, I thought
this was the best part of it.
578
00:50:25,950 --> 00:50:29,390
Look, I'm freezing,
and I'm not enjoying myself.
579
00:50:29,490 --> 00:50:31,100
But I want you to know
that I'm gonna do my best
580
00:50:31,130 --> 00:50:32,800
to try to find
this Golden Child for you.
581
00:50:32,820 --> 00:50:34,710
- KEE: Of course you are.
- You know...
582
00:50:34,730 --> 00:50:36,360
KEE: I'll arrange
for our trek into the mountains.
583
00:50:37,200 --> 00:50:39,170
You have about an hour
to look around.
584
00:50:50,580 --> 00:50:52,710
[CHIRPING]
585
00:51:20,060 --> 00:51:21,220
[SPEAKING TIBETAN]
586
00:51:21,240 --> 00:51:23,340
[SPEAKING TIBETAN CONTINUES]
587
00:51:23,920 --> 00:51:28,030
Uh, about 4:30, but um, I don't think
I'm gonna be able to make it to the party.
588
00:51:30,480 --> 00:51:31,240
[CHUCKLING]
589
00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:51,360
[BIRDSONG]
590
00:51:55,280 --> 00:51:56,460
[SPEAKING TIBETAN]
591
00:52:09,810 --> 00:52:10,830
Hi.
592
00:52:16,180 --> 00:52:17,560
- Take it easy.
- [VENDOR GRUNTING]
593
00:52:20,080 --> 00:52:22,140
Oh, you want me to buy
one of your necklaces?
594
00:52:23,280 --> 00:52:24,920
Okay, I'll buy one.
595
00:52:25,340 --> 00:52:26,580
I'll buy one.
596
00:52:26,610 --> 00:52:28,190
Okay, let me have
the blue one.
597
00:52:28,620 --> 00:52:29,800
All right,
how much is o--
598
00:52:29,830 --> 00:52:31,540
I don't know what it--
how much they cost, though.
599
00:52:32,290 --> 00:52:33,470
One of those?
600
00:52:34,100 --> 00:52:35,280
Okay.
601
00:52:35,310 --> 00:52:37,100
Let me have the blue one.
It matches my coat.
602
00:52:37,120 --> 00:52:38,120
VENDOR: Ah.
603
00:52:45,060 --> 00:52:46,840
Hey, wait a second.
You took a hundred.
604
00:52:46,970 --> 00:52:48,580
- [VENDOR GRUNTING]
- You took the hundred. No, that's wr--
605
00:52:48,600 --> 00:52:50,400
No. See, one dollar.
606
00:52:50,430 --> 00:52:53,320
See, one dollar's for you.
See, there's George Washington?
607
00:52:53,350 --> 00:52:55,450
That's Benjamin Franklin.
That's not happenin'.
608
00:52:55,480 --> 00:52:57,470
Give this...
You got the wrong money.
609
00:52:58,050 --> 00:52:59,870
Ah. Ah.
610
00:53:02,330 --> 00:53:04,970
- Can I have my money back?
- Uh.
611
00:53:06,460 --> 00:53:08,180
And you gave me
the wrong necklace, too.
612
00:53:08,650 --> 00:53:10,910
You're breaking
my heart, asswipe.
613
00:53:12,350 --> 00:53:14,010
Oh, you speak
English just fine.
614
00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:15,950
So do you.
So what of it?
615
00:53:17,170 --> 00:53:18,170
Hey, listen, man.
616
00:53:18,190 --> 00:53:21,070
Give me my hundred back, take this dollar,
and take this-- then gimme the right one.
617
00:53:21,360 --> 00:53:24,330
Monkey breath, puke face,
eater of turtle slime.
618
00:53:25,490 --> 00:53:26,350
Uh.
619
00:53:27,430 --> 00:53:29,610
Okay, tell you what, just gimme
my shit, you take your shit--
620
00:53:29,640 --> 00:53:30,900
What, scuzzbucket?
621
00:53:30,930 --> 00:53:33,270
- Okay, you slick shithead.
- [VENDOR GRUNTS]
622
00:53:33,500 --> 00:53:35,290
You sneaky little bastard!
623
00:53:36,110 --> 00:53:37,940
You want your money?
Take it!
624
00:53:53,180 --> 00:53:54,500
[CHIRPING]
625
00:54:01,180 --> 00:54:04,790
Did you see a little naked man
running around with a hundred dollar bill?
626
00:54:04,940 --> 00:54:07,560
I've arranged for yaks,
ponies, and boats.
627
00:54:07,580 --> 00:54:10,180
You didn't see a little naked
bum with a hundred dollars?
628
00:54:10,410 --> 00:54:13,270
No, but I can arrange for one.
Come on.
629
00:54:13,480 --> 00:54:15,620
You got to show up
sooner or later!
630
00:54:16,030 --> 00:54:18,110
And when you do,
your ass is kicked!
631
00:54:18,400 --> 00:54:19,920
And I'm gonna sell
your clothes...
632
00:54:19,940 --> 00:54:23,340
leave you here in Kathmandu,
naked and bleeding with no money!
633
00:54:23,370 --> 00:54:24,950
You little dirty bastard!
634
00:54:24,970 --> 00:54:26,780
- The dude took my money.
- KEE: From you?
635
00:54:30,870 --> 00:54:32,390
CHANDLER: If that bum didn't
take my hundred dollars,
636
00:54:32,410 --> 00:54:33,980
we could'a had--
got a boat with a motor.
637
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:35,860
- KEE: Shut up and paddle.
- Yeah, I'm gonna paddle.
638
00:54:35,890 --> 00:54:37,380
I'mma paddle his ass
when I find--
639
00:54:37,410 --> 00:54:41,570
I'mma paddle your ass when I find you!
I know you-- I'mma use this row!
640
00:54:41,640 --> 00:54:44,550
I'mma row your ass
'til it bleeds!
641
00:54:57,880 --> 00:54:59,310
We'll be there soon!
642
00:54:59,550 --> 00:55:02,800
Yeah, well, you'd better have
a spatula where we going...
643
00:55:03,110 --> 00:55:05,400
because my ass is
frozen to this yak!
644
00:55:42,790 --> 00:55:45,310
[CONTINUES
STAMPING FEET]
645
00:55:50,060 --> 00:55:51,070
Bow.
646
00:55:57,610 --> 00:55:58,870
[WHISPERING]
That's the dude that took my money!
647
00:55:59,220 --> 00:56:05,300
[MUSICAL NOTE RESONATES]
648
00:56:08,220 --> 00:56:11,980
[CHANTING] We have come to ask
for the sacred Crossed Dagger of Ajanti.
649
00:56:12,940 --> 00:56:14,470
[CHANTING]
For what reason?
650
00:56:15,480 --> 00:56:17,440
[CHANTING]
For the Golden Child.
651
00:56:17,730 --> 00:56:19,430
[CHANTING]
He does not need it.
652
00:56:20,190 --> 00:56:22,290
[CHANTING]
To save his life.
653
00:56:22,530 --> 00:56:26,170
[CHANTING] The child lives
for our sakes, not for his own.
654
00:56:26,960 --> 00:56:28,970
[KEE CHANTING]
I humbly beg you,
655
00:56:29,260 --> 00:56:31,140
[CHANTING]
let us have the knife.
656
00:56:33,960 --> 00:56:35,460
Let him ask it.
657
00:56:46,480 --> 00:56:50,300
[RAPPING] I said, I-- I-I-- I-I-I
I-I-I-- I want the knife.
658
00:56:58,110 --> 00:56:59,750
Let him ask again.
659
00:57:13,860 --> 00:57:16,680
[CHANTING]
I want the knife.
660
00:57:19,180 --> 00:57:21,300
[CHANTING]
Please.
661
00:57:37,130 --> 00:57:39,970
Only a man whose heart is pure
can wield the knife,
662
00:57:39,990 --> 00:57:42,660
and if you're such a man,
you will have it.
663
00:57:45,470 --> 00:57:49,820
"Only a man whose heart is pure
can wield the knife."
664
00:57:49,970 --> 00:57:54,520
And only a man whose ass is narrow
can get down these steps.
665
00:57:54,540 --> 00:57:57,940
And if mine's is such an ass,
then I shall have it.
666
00:58:00,820 --> 00:58:02,440
Oh, shit.
667
00:58:03,240 --> 00:58:05,290
Beyond that door is
a corridor.
668
00:58:06,150 --> 00:58:08,820
At the other end is
the sacred Ajanti Dagger.
669
00:58:09,530 --> 00:58:12,290
If you walk to the other end
of the corridor and retrieve it,
670
00:58:12,610 --> 00:58:14,250
the dagger is yours.
671
00:58:14,680 --> 00:58:16,440
Yeah, that sounds
simple enough.
672
00:58:16,480 --> 00:58:17,800
Just one thing.
673
00:58:17,820 --> 00:58:20,940
You must carry this glass of water
without spilling one drop.
674
00:58:20,960 --> 00:58:22,550
Who are you,
Monty Hall now?
675
00:58:22,700 --> 00:58:24,280
You must be Carol Marrow.
676
00:58:24,590 --> 00:58:27,550
"Don't spill any water."
This is crazy!
677
00:58:27,780 --> 00:58:30,470
And keep your thought
as pure as the water.
678
00:58:30,890 --> 00:58:32,490
Yeah, this water
ain't really that pure.
679
00:58:32,510 --> 00:58:33,660
[CHUCKLES]
Neither are you.
680
00:58:34,160 --> 00:58:35,710
THE OLD MAN:
I give you this advice.
681
00:58:36,650 --> 00:58:38,710
- Stay on the path.
- [CHUCKLING]
682
00:58:38,910 --> 00:58:40,190
You got it.
683
00:58:40,810 --> 00:58:41,880
CHANDLER:
It's dark.
684
00:58:42,090 --> 00:58:43,970
[CHANDLER YOWLS]
685
00:58:44,560 --> 00:58:46,780
I'm so afraid of the dark, too.
686
00:59:04,020 --> 00:59:06,790
You need to get somebody
to come clean up down here!
687
00:59:14,160 --> 00:59:16,600
[CHANDLER EMITS
EERIE TUNE]
688
00:59:25,670 --> 00:59:26,860
[CREAKING]
689
00:59:33,030 --> 00:59:34,620
This is a piece of cake.
690
00:59:34,760 --> 00:59:37,580
This is a piece
of cake, okay?!
691
00:59:37,750 --> 00:59:39,020
[LAUGHING SOFTLY]
692
00:59:43,610 --> 00:59:45,690
Come on, come on.
693
00:59:52,010 --> 00:59:54,500
Hey, there's no floor.
There's no ground.
694
00:59:55,520 --> 00:59:57,370
Wait a minute, I got it...
I got it.
695
00:59:57,390 --> 00:59:58,790
There's a ground!
696
00:59:58,910 --> 01:00:01,660
You're making it look
like there's no ground,
697
01:00:01,680 --> 01:00:06,420
to see if I would be scared
'cause-- and run back, and say-- ha-ha...
698
01:00:06,490 --> 01:00:07,500
You...
699
01:00:07,690 --> 01:00:11,150
There's a ground.
There's a ground, Monty!
700
01:00:11,180 --> 01:00:12,410
[LAUGHING SOFTLY]
701
01:00:12,440 --> 01:00:13,810
[SIGHING]
702
01:00:31,980 --> 01:00:33,910
There's no ground here!
703
01:00:34,160 --> 01:00:35,600
[CREAKING]
704
01:00:35,630 --> 01:00:37,040
Oh, shit.
705
01:00:50,900 --> 01:00:55,340
THE OLD MAN:
Remember, stay on the path!
706
01:00:55,360 --> 01:00:57,140
I heard you the first time!
707
01:00:57,330 --> 01:00:59,730
Let's just hope
the path stays under me!
708
01:01:37,700 --> 01:01:40,010
I thought you said I was
supposed to stay on the path!
709
01:01:40,040 --> 01:01:41,100
THE OLD MAN: Yes,
710
01:01:41,120 --> 01:01:44,050
but you must know
when to break the rules!
711
01:01:44,080 --> 01:01:46,340
Well, how many people have
survived this test?
712
01:01:46,940 --> 01:01:48,150
THE OLD MAN: None!
713
01:01:49,060 --> 01:01:50,250
None?!
714
01:01:51,540 --> 01:01:52,560
None?!
715
01:01:53,170 --> 01:01:55,720
I'm gonna break your ass
when I get outta here!
716
01:02:31,620 --> 01:02:32,700
[CHANDLER GRUNTS]
717
01:02:57,100 --> 01:02:58,930
What am I doing wrong?!
718
01:03:00,420 --> 01:03:03,110
I followed all your rules.
What am I doing wrong?
719
01:03:07,370 --> 01:03:09,880
Keep your mind as-- your thoughts
as pure as the water...
720
01:03:09,900 --> 01:03:11,370
and don't drop the water.
721
01:03:11,950 --> 01:03:13,530
Don't drop the water.
722
01:03:16,430 --> 01:03:17,490
Wait a minute.
723
01:03:17,520 --> 01:03:19,540
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait.
724
01:03:19,560 --> 01:03:22,300
The water...
The fire and the water...
725
01:03:22,740 --> 01:03:23,830
Okay.
726
01:03:29,540 --> 01:03:30,970
To Monty!
727
01:03:31,980 --> 01:03:33,310
A toast!
728
01:03:50,210 --> 01:03:51,220
Ha!
729
01:03:52,820 --> 01:03:54,160
Ha!
730
01:03:54,330 --> 01:03:55,840
I got the knife!
731
01:03:56,010 --> 01:03:58,080
Now turn on the goddamn light!
732
01:04:04,430 --> 01:04:05,770
[DOOR OPENS]
733
01:04:10,500 --> 01:04:12,250
What is it, asswipe?
734
01:04:17,090 --> 01:04:19,090
Listen, I want to ask
your advice about something.
735
01:04:19,460 --> 01:04:20,480
[BELCHING]
736
01:04:21,330 --> 01:04:23,600
I'mma let that slide
'cause I understand it's your way.
737
01:04:23,620 --> 01:04:24,630
[BELCHING]
738
01:04:25,100 --> 01:04:26,750
Don't press
your luck, though.
739
01:04:26,780 --> 01:04:27,910
[CHANDLER CHUCKLING]
740
01:04:29,880 --> 01:04:30,960
[THE OLD MAN CHUCKLING]
741
01:04:32,420 --> 01:04:37,040
I know that you're
a very old and wise and...
742
01:04:37,780 --> 01:04:39,650
...disgusting guy...
743
01:04:39,950 --> 01:04:41,170
[CHUCKLING]
...and...
744
01:04:41,820 --> 01:04:43,780
You're just gonna wipe that
right on your jacket, huh?
745
01:04:43,920 --> 01:04:45,970
Well, I was wonderin' how--
746
01:04:46,000 --> 01:04:48,270
what a man says
to a woman from your world
747
01:04:48,300 --> 01:04:51,210
when he wants to make her
understand that he loves her...
748
01:04:51,230 --> 01:04:52,980
and he wants
to marry her.
749
01:04:53,750 --> 01:04:58,190
If you took the short path and reached
enlightenment before tomorrow,
750
01:04:58,480 --> 01:05:00,370
who would want you
for a husband?
751
01:05:01,590 --> 01:05:03,040
What's the short path?
752
01:05:03,770 --> 01:05:06,290
First of all,
you must remain pure.
753
01:05:06,320 --> 01:05:08,030
What are you talking about, "pure"?
What do you mean?
754
01:05:08,750 --> 01:05:10,000
You know what I mean.
755
01:05:15,320 --> 01:05:17,680
Oh, you mean no...
756
01:05:18,210 --> 01:05:20,960
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
757
01:05:21,070 --> 01:05:22,830
Is there a long way?
[CHUCKLING]
758
01:05:22,860 --> 01:05:25,190
It takes 10,000 lifetimes.
759
01:05:25,250 --> 01:05:27,420
Well, we don't have
that much time, do we?
760
01:05:27,560 --> 01:05:28,980
No women.
What else?
761
01:05:29,120 --> 01:05:30,180
For you?
762
01:05:31,650 --> 01:05:34,470
You must trust someone
you have no reason to trust.
763
01:05:35,310 --> 01:05:38,990
You must make a promise
to someone you have just met.
764
01:05:39,560 --> 01:05:42,330
And you must love someone
who loves you.
765
01:05:45,610 --> 01:05:48,230
Look, how am I supposed to know
when to do all these things, anyway?
766
01:05:48,250 --> 01:05:50,380
Hmm.
That's for you to decide.
767
01:05:51,590 --> 01:05:54,920
You must tell no one
I have put you on the path.
768
01:05:58,020 --> 01:05:59,090
Well...
769
01:05:59,700 --> 01:06:01,820
- thanks for your help.
- [LAUGHING]
770
01:06:02,290 --> 01:06:03,900
Thinks I helped him.
771
01:06:06,360 --> 01:06:10,190
Get that booger off your jacket
before it freeze up, scratch yourself.
772
01:06:13,190 --> 01:06:14,330
You can keep that hundred,
773
01:06:14,350 --> 01:06:17,410
'cause there's no telling what might be
on the bill when you give it back.
774
01:06:30,540 --> 01:06:31,670
Gompa...
775
01:06:32,390 --> 01:06:34,930
I have ruined myself
for the American.
776
01:06:35,660 --> 01:06:36,680
He's a fool.
777
01:06:37,250 --> 01:06:38,710
But he's brave.
778
01:06:39,120 --> 01:06:40,860
He's irresponsible.
779
01:06:41,270 --> 01:06:42,820
He's generous.
780
01:06:43,960 --> 01:06:47,790
He-He thinks of nothing
but protecting his own feelings.
781
01:06:48,150 --> 01:06:49,150
[SIGHING]
782
01:06:49,600 --> 01:06:53,230
But if you touch his heart,
there's nothing he wouldn't do for you.
783
01:06:53,970 --> 01:06:56,010
He believes in nothing.
784
01:06:56,640 --> 01:06:59,300
And still he does what is right.
785
01:07:00,140 --> 01:07:03,160
He's a careless,
thoughtless, undisciplined fool.
786
01:07:03,190 --> 01:07:06,770
[CHUCKLING] Yes.
I do like him very much.
787
01:07:07,090 --> 01:07:09,020
It's very hard not to.
788
01:07:10,140 --> 01:07:12,770
Those magnificent Americans.
789
01:07:13,420 --> 01:07:17,280
So much power and so little
understanding what to do with it.
790
01:07:19,110 --> 01:07:20,580
What should I do?
791
01:07:23,790 --> 01:07:26,870
You must help him
save the Golden Child.
792
01:07:28,050 --> 01:07:29,970
And follow your heart.
793
01:07:33,340 --> 01:07:34,840
Thank you, Gompa.
794
01:07:35,680 --> 01:07:37,510
You're welcome, daughter.
795
01:07:39,170 --> 01:07:42,780
And when you want to marry him,
you have my blessing.
796
01:07:44,610 --> 01:07:45,940
Thank you, Father.
797
01:07:55,790 --> 01:07:57,990
They won't let me on the plane
with this two-foot knife.
798
01:07:58,020 --> 01:08:00,030
- Yes, they will.
- No, they won't.
799
01:08:00,220 --> 01:08:01,560
I'm going to jail.
800
01:08:04,650 --> 01:08:05,660
Thank you.
801
01:08:05,700 --> 01:08:06,990
This is not gonna work,
802
01:08:07,020 --> 01:08:11,540
and I'm gonna spend the rest
of my life in a clay cell in Kathmandu.
803
01:08:11,970 --> 01:08:13,310
Another cow?
804
01:08:13,340 --> 01:08:15,530
This is Kathmandu.
What'd you expect?
805
01:08:15,560 --> 01:08:17,430
Listen, there's no way
806
01:08:17,460 --> 01:08:21,010
that they gonna let me on the plane
with a two-foot knife under my shirt.
807
01:08:21,350 --> 01:08:23,910
Relax and just trust
in your destiny.
808
01:08:23,990 --> 01:08:26,440
- Come on.
- You trust in your destiny.
809
01:08:27,580 --> 01:08:30,010
- Come with me, please.
- But I have nothing to declare.
810
01:08:30,040 --> 01:08:31,590
But necessary.
811
01:08:31,620 --> 01:08:33,000
- But why? I can show you my bag here.
- See?
812
01:08:33,030 --> 01:08:35,970
- It's for your own protection.
- These are just my drawers.
813
01:08:35,990 --> 01:08:38,570
That's my clean ones
and these are dirty ones.
814
01:08:38,590 --> 01:08:40,140
Excuse me,
I have a plane to catch.
815
01:08:40,740 --> 01:08:42,660
PASSENGER:
Come on, come on, hurry it up
816
01:08:42,680 --> 01:08:44,950
- What's this?
- so I can get outta here. It's nothing.
817
01:08:44,980 --> 01:08:46,820
Look, just once I wanna
go back to America--
818
01:08:46,850 --> 01:08:49,110
- I'm a citizen, okay?
- AGENT: What's this?
819
01:08:49,880 --> 01:08:51,110
What are you looking at?
820
01:08:51,140 --> 01:08:54,580
It just does my heart good
to see another American citizen!
821
01:08:55,800 --> 01:08:57,310
[METAL DETECTOR BEEPS]
822
01:08:59,220 --> 01:09:01,130
- Hold it right there!
- You're crazy, man!
823
01:09:01,150 --> 01:09:02,630
No, I'm not crazy.
824
01:09:02,650 --> 01:09:04,720
I'm Agent Chandler Jarrell
825
01:09:04,750 --> 01:09:07,870
from the American
Stolen Artifacts Foundation.
826
01:09:07,900 --> 01:09:09,180
Everybody, it's okay!
827
01:09:09,200 --> 01:09:12,150
I'm with Artifacts Stolen
Artifacts Foundation! May I?
828
01:09:12,170 --> 01:09:15,160
Freddie, get out of my sight!
You make me sick, Freddie!
829
01:09:15,190 --> 01:09:17,160
I'll talk to you
on the plane, Freddie!
830
01:09:17,190 --> 01:09:18,320
Nobody be alarmed!
831
01:09:18,340 --> 01:09:22,210
I'm Chandler Jarrell, American
Stolen Artifacts Founders of America.
832
01:09:22,240 --> 01:09:26,740
And, um, thanks to you, we were able
to catch this man, Freddie, the...
833
01:09:26,900 --> 01:09:28,450
piece of shit back there.
834
01:09:28,480 --> 01:09:31,500
And I thank you, and I thank
the good people of Nepal,
835
01:09:31,520 --> 01:09:33,370
a bunch of brilliant
wankers, all of you.
836
01:09:33,400 --> 01:09:35,620
Thank you, sir.
You are one hell of a leader,
837
01:09:35,640 --> 01:09:41,020
'cause you, th-- th-the keen,
the cunningness... the-- the-- the instinct!
838
01:09:41,150 --> 01:09:42,520
The instinct is brilliant.
839
01:09:42,540 --> 01:09:44,620
And you can-- I can tell
that you trained under this man
840
01:09:44,640 --> 01:09:47,090
'cause you have the same glare
in your eye of brilliance.
841
01:09:47,120 --> 01:09:49,450
And you're b-- You don't even know what you did,
but you're brilliant anyway, 'cause
842
01:09:49,470 --> 01:09:53,990
The brilliance is the best brilliance is
brilliance born from someone ignorant...
843
01:09:55,880 --> 01:09:58,670
Forget it.
This is my assistant, Kee Nang here,
844
01:09:58,700 --> 01:10:01,560
and we thank you all.
It's Agent 69, and we thank you all.
845
01:10:01,590 --> 01:10:03,650
The people of Nepal,
we thank you!
846
01:10:03,830 --> 01:10:06,860
You're a bunch
of beautiful, brilliant people!
847
01:10:06,880 --> 01:10:09,740
Nepal! N-E-P-A-L!
848
01:10:09,770 --> 01:10:12,090
Viva Nepal! Viva Nepal!
849
01:10:21,930 --> 01:10:23,330
[SPEAKING TIBETAN]
850
01:10:24,630 --> 01:10:25,590
[WHISPERING]
No, thanks.
851
01:10:26,420 --> 01:10:27,730
[SPEAKING TIBETAN]
852
01:10:33,200 --> 01:10:37,100
[♪ SITAR MUSIC PLAYING]
853
01:10:42,580 --> 01:10:45,670
[SINGING NONSENSE LYRICS]
854
01:10:47,310 --> 01:10:50,530
[NONSENSE CONTINUES]
855
01:11:05,730 --> 01:11:07,990
- DR. HONG: Welcome back. I'll help you.
- Thank you.
856
01:11:08,280 --> 01:11:09,390
Hey.
857
01:11:09,410 --> 01:11:10,780
This is your problem now.
858
01:11:10,820 --> 01:11:13,870
Thank you. You did a marvelous job
in obtaining the knife.
859
01:11:16,450 --> 01:11:20,990
You will be spending the next few days
at-- at a house of a certain friend.
860
01:11:21,010 --> 01:11:23,520
When do you think we'll be
contacted about the knife?
861
01:11:28,030 --> 01:11:29,970
That's the man--
Chandler Yarrell.
862
01:11:30,000 --> 01:11:32,580
If he doesn't return my
property, I want him arrested.
863
01:11:38,350 --> 01:11:39,830
Welcome home, Mr. Yarrell.
864
01:11:40,350 --> 01:11:42,080
You have something for me.
865
01:11:48,390 --> 01:11:49,850
[IN ACCENT]
I'm sorry, Numsy.
866
01:11:50,520 --> 01:11:51,960
I should be punished!
867
01:11:52,050 --> 01:11:55,350
Everyone, I have stolen
from my brother, Numsy.
868
01:11:55,370 --> 01:11:57,270
Officer,
it is your duty to take me in.
869
01:11:57,300 --> 01:11:58,630
Please, purge me.
870
01:11:58,660 --> 01:12:00,470
I'm ashamed of myself.
871
01:12:00,690 --> 01:12:01,940
I should be arrested.
872
01:12:02,060 --> 01:12:03,540
I should be purged.
873
01:12:03,570 --> 01:12:05,010
I should be flogged.
874
01:12:05,030 --> 01:12:06,530
I don't deserve to walk
875
01:12:06,560 --> 01:12:08,060
- amongst good, clean people.
- Let me have a word with him
876
01:12:08,080 --> 01:12:09,190
- for a moment.
- For I am a swine.
877
01:12:09,220 --> 01:12:12,590
I am a wretch.
I don't deserve to live like others. I--
878
01:12:12,610 --> 01:12:15,200
How long do you think you can
keep up this miserable masquerade?
879
01:12:15,220 --> 01:12:16,380
Well,
until I get arrested,
880
01:12:16,410 --> 01:12:18,670
or until you realize the rules
of evidence in this country.
881
01:12:19,740 --> 01:12:23,900
See, if I get arrested, they take me
and they put me in a jail cell.
882
01:12:23,920 --> 01:12:25,960
And then they take the knife,
because it's a stolen object,
883
01:12:26,100 --> 01:12:28,190
and they put than in a little room
and they put "Exhibit A,"
884
01:12:28,220 --> 01:12:30,060
a little sticker
that says, "Exhibit A" on it,
885
01:12:30,080 --> 01:12:32,990
and that sits in a room,
then I sit in my little room
886
01:12:33,010 --> 01:12:34,470
and the knife sits
in its little room
887
01:12:34,490 --> 01:12:38,000
until the trial comes up, which can be
anywhere from a month to a year.
888
01:12:38,030 --> 01:12:39,030
So if you get me arrested,
889
01:12:39,060 --> 01:12:41,190
there's no telling when
you're gonna get your knife.
890
01:12:46,980 --> 01:12:49,380
You've no idea
who I am, have you?
891
01:12:49,820 --> 01:12:52,850
[IN ACCENT]
Yes. You're Sardo Numsy.
892
01:12:52,960 --> 01:12:54,650
[LAUGHING]
893
01:12:54,690 --> 01:12:57,100
Look,
I don't care who you are.
894
01:12:57,130 --> 01:12:59,260
I do care that you kidnapped
a little kid, though.
895
01:12:59,310 --> 01:13:02,240
I could destroy you
just like that.
896
01:13:03,560 --> 01:13:05,030
Well, we wouldn't want that.
897
01:13:05,400 --> 01:13:06,470
Listen...
898
01:13:07,050 --> 01:13:08,420
bring me the boy
899
01:13:08,560 --> 01:13:09,710
and I'll give you the knife,
900
01:13:09,730 --> 01:13:12,750
and then no one will have
to be destroyed "just like that."
901
01:13:13,670 --> 01:13:14,890
Think it over.
902
01:13:15,790 --> 01:13:17,700
My brother's forgiven me!
903
01:13:17,920 --> 01:13:19,450
Kee, Dr. Hong,
904
01:13:19,480 --> 01:13:21,960
Brother Numsy has forgiven me.
905
01:13:22,740 --> 01:13:25,610
Dear brother, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
906
01:13:25,640 --> 01:13:27,030
Mwah!
You're wonderful.
907
01:13:27,060 --> 01:13:28,320
Just what else
did you tell him?
908
01:13:28,350 --> 01:13:30,550
I told him next time I saw him,
I wasn't going to be as polite.
909
01:13:31,960 --> 01:13:33,470
You are foolhardy,
aren't you?
910
01:13:33,500 --> 01:13:35,120
[IN ACCENT]
Well, I do my best.
911
01:14:27,280 --> 01:14:28,610
Are you coming to bed?
912
01:14:30,380 --> 01:14:31,440
[SIGHING]
913
01:14:32,550 --> 01:14:34,890
No, I think
I'm gonna sleep out here.
914
01:14:38,170 --> 01:14:39,170
Oh...
915
01:14:40,750 --> 01:14:41,760
Good night.
916
01:15:35,710 --> 01:15:36,940
I just heard something.
917
01:15:39,470 --> 01:15:41,590
I don't like this.
Let's get outta here.
918
01:16:35,800 --> 01:16:36,590
Run!
919
01:17:30,780 --> 01:17:34,830
I did not spend the night with you
to obligate you.
920
01:17:35,060 --> 01:17:39,160
I spent the night with you
because I love you.
921
01:17:40,860 --> 01:17:41,870
[GASPING]
922
01:17:51,520 --> 01:17:53,790
She is beyond
this world of pain.
923
01:17:53,820 --> 01:17:55,360
KALA:
You can save her.
924
01:17:56,870 --> 01:17:59,470
The Golden Child can
bring her back
925
01:17:59,500 --> 01:18:01,960
as long as sunlight
still shines on her body.
926
01:18:01,990 --> 01:18:03,790
No more magic
and no more riddles, all right?
927
01:18:03,820 --> 01:18:04,830
She's dead!
928
01:18:11,290 --> 01:18:12,630
DR. HONG:
You are the Chosen One.
929
01:18:12,860 --> 01:18:14,460
You will find the child.
930
01:18:14,590 --> 01:18:16,940
You have until nightfall
to find the child.
931
01:18:16,960 --> 01:18:19,300
Sardo cannot kill him
until dark.
932
01:19:27,950 --> 01:19:29,760
[CHIRPING]
933
01:20:11,470 --> 01:20:12,840
[CHIRPING]
934
01:20:31,080 --> 01:20:33,480
[CHIRPING]
935
01:21:27,070 --> 01:21:28,190
[CLICKING]
936
01:21:52,640 --> 01:21:54,090
[DOOR OPENING]
937
01:22:09,310 --> 01:22:11,020
We're gonna get you
outta here, okay?
938
01:22:24,250 --> 01:22:25,500
Hey, where's your boss?
939
01:22:26,480 --> 01:22:28,030
Now, you keep a eye on the kid.
Don't worry about nothin'.
940
01:22:28,060 --> 01:22:29,160
I'm the Chosen One.
941
01:22:29,180 --> 01:22:30,680
This isn't gonna
take too long.
942
01:22:30,710 --> 01:22:31,740
[DOOR SQUEAKING]
943
01:22:34,480 --> 01:22:36,790
My dear,
sweet brother, Numsy!
944
01:22:45,730 --> 01:22:47,460
I can see you're
busy right now.
945
01:22:48,360 --> 01:22:49,870
I'll come back
some other time.
946
01:23:03,960 --> 01:23:06,170
There are no keys in the car!
There are no keys!
947
01:23:07,240 --> 01:23:09,970
Oh, come on.
Come on, come on, come on!
948
01:23:11,520 --> 01:23:12,710
[ENGINE STARTS]
949
01:23:14,480 --> 01:23:15,710
Everything's gonna be okay.
950
01:23:16,080 --> 01:23:16,970
I know.
951
01:23:17,110 --> 01:23:18,950
Well, fasten
your seatbelt, kid.
952
01:23:33,320 --> 01:23:35,120
Somebody give you
a Valium, or what?
953
01:23:40,720 --> 01:23:42,850
This kind of thing must happen
a lot where you're from.
954
01:23:42,870 --> 01:23:44,610
I feel like I'm gonna
shit on myself!
955
01:23:44,680 --> 01:23:45,760
[DEMON SCREECHES]
956
01:24:10,970 --> 01:24:12,600
Hey!
Hey, Goldie!
957
01:24:14,140 --> 01:24:15,460
You ain't gonna help me
with the chain...
958
01:24:15,480 --> 01:24:16,850
just gonna keep running, right?
959
01:24:24,630 --> 01:24:26,250
Hey! Wait!
960
01:25:03,320 --> 01:25:04,250
[ROARING]
961
01:27:38,230 --> 01:27:39,560
[SHRIEKING]
962
01:28:43,180 --> 01:28:45,400
- How long are you gonna be?
- Two weeks.
963
01:28:45,430 --> 01:28:48,260
Okay, so you drop the kid off
and then you're comin' back here.
964
01:28:48,280 --> 01:28:50,580
- Yes.
- Good. [CHUCKLING]
965
01:28:50,700 --> 01:28:53,800
Listen, you...
I bought this for you. Okay?
966
01:28:53,830 --> 01:28:54,920
You put that on...
967
01:28:54,950 --> 01:28:56,740
and you don't have to worry
about none of the other kids
968
01:28:56,770 --> 01:28:58,460
messing with your head
while you're here.
969
01:28:58,720 --> 01:29:00,680
- Good? Good.
- [KEE LAUGHING]
970
01:29:00,710 --> 01:29:03,600
You don't want to go to Tibet
with a big [THWACK] on your head.
971
01:29:03,960 --> 01:29:04,960
[CHANDLER CHUCKLING]
972
01:29:05,040 --> 01:29:06,420
[BIRDSONG]
973
01:29:06,440 --> 01:29:07,870
Hey, that is a cool trick.
974
01:29:08,110 --> 01:29:10,160
Did you ever think
about going into show business?
975
01:29:10,190 --> 01:29:11,760
'Cause you could--
I could be your partner
976
01:29:11,780 --> 01:29:12,790
and I'd throw a rock at you,
977
01:29:12,810 --> 01:29:14,550
you'd make it float off
and hit the wall.
978
01:29:14,580 --> 01:29:16,940
- Standing ovations all over the place.
- [KEE LAUGHING]
979
01:29:17,060 --> 01:29:19,230
That-- You ever hear
of Ed MacMahon's Starsearch?
980
01:29:19,250 --> 01:29:21,620
- No.
- Do they have Starsearch in Tibet?
981
01:29:22,120 --> 01:29:24,400
CHANDLER: Probably not.
They probably have Foodsearch.
982
01:29:24,430 --> 01:29:27,050
But you know what we could do?
We could all go on Starsearch, right?
983
01:29:27,070 --> 01:29:28,570
And we can give
the audience rocks
984
01:29:28,600 --> 01:29:30,210
and let them
throw 'em at you.
985
01:29:30,240 --> 01:29:31,360
And then you can
move your hand
986
01:29:31,380 --> 01:29:33,360
and make them
all hit Ed MacMahon...
987
01:29:33,450 --> 01:29:35,340
...hard
[LAUGHING]