1 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,300 We climbed 'cause it's fun. 2 00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:50,200 And mainly it was fun. 3 00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:51,500 That's all we ever did. 4 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:55,400 And we were fairly anarchic and fairly irresponsible, 5 00:00:55,500 --> 00:00:58,500 and we didn't give a damn about anyone else or anything else, 6 00:00:58,700 --> 00:01:00,300 and we just wanted to climb the world. And it was fun. 7 00:01:00,300 --> 00:01:02,300 It was just brilliant fun. 8 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:06,400 And every now and then it went wildly wrong. And then it wasn't. 9 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:44,600 Got into Peru when I was 25, Simon 21. 10 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:49,600 But we had done a lot of climbing in the Alps. 11 00:01:59,700 --> 00:02:03,700 To climb mountains that have not been climbed before, or a new route at a mountain 12 00:02:03,900 --> 00:02:07,900 is what my climbing life had been moving towards. 13 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:21,700 A friend of us, who'd done an amazing amount of climbing in South-America 14 00:02:21,900 --> 00:02:25,900 had seen this face in the mid-70's. 15 00:02:26,900 --> 00:02:30,900 I think he said it would be a challenging day out. 16 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:41,600 It was the last big mountain face in this range of mountains, 17 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:45,800 that hadn't been climbed. 18 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,200 There's a great unknown there. 19 00:02:49,300 --> 00:02:53,300 What's so compelling is stepping into that unknown. 20 00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:32,100 It was an isolated spot, a 2 - days walk from a road. 21 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:34,400 The mountains all around seemed very big, 22 00:03:34,500 --> 00:03:38,500 compared to the mountains I'd seen in the Alps. 23 00:03:46,300 --> 00:03:49,800 We eventually reached a spot, on the approach to Siula Grande. 24 00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:53,900 You couldn't really take the donkeys any further than this point. 25 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:59,600 I guess it would be 7-8 km from the bottom of the mountains. 26 00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:10,500 We knew Siula Grande was at the back, but we didn't see it. 27 00:04:16,100 --> 00:04:20,100 We'd met this lad called Richard Hawking in Lima. He'd been travelling on his own. 28 00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:24,300 And I think we said, "Why don't you just join us on our trip?" 29 00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:28,500 I think he said that he didn't know anything about mountaineering. 30 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:31,300 I didn't really know what pot of brew I was in. 31 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:35,000 or quite, what I was letting myself in for. 32 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:38,000 We wanted Richard because when we were on the mountain, 33 00:04:38,100 --> 00:04:40,900 if he were at base camp he could look after our kit. 34 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,500 I got to know Simon quite well. 35 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:47,300 I don't know whether it was because of his personality, 36 00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:50,900 or whether it was because he was more forgiving towards me, 37 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:54,600 being a non-climber in that environment. 38 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:58,800 But I found it very hard to get to know Joe. 39 00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:04,500 I was much more ambitious about doing it than Simon was. 40 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,700 Siula Grande meant a lot. 41 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:14,800 We knew, a number of expeditions had failed on it. 42 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,300 If no one had tried, it wouldn't be quite the same. 43 00:05:18,300 --> 00:05:22,300 It was the the fact that people had tried and failed, so we knew it was hard. 44 00:05:23,900 --> 00:05:27,900 And my feeling was, "Well, we'll just do it. We're better than them." 45 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:40,600 Since the 1970s people have been trying to climb 46 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:44,800 mountains in the great ranges in what's called "Alpine style". 47 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:50,000 And essentially, Alpine style means you pack a rucksack 48 00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:53,300 full of all your clothing, your food and your climbing equipment, 49 00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:56,500 and you start off from a base camp and you try and climb the mountain 50 00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:59,000 you're gonna climb in a single push. 51 00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:01,900 You don't fix the line of ropes uphill beforehand, 52 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:06,000 you don't have a set of camps that you stock and come down from. 53 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:11,000 That's the purest style and that's the style that Joe and I had climbed Siula Grande. 54 00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:19,600 It's a very committing way of climbing, because you have no line of retreat. 55 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:27,000 If something goes wrong, it can be very very serious. 56 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:31,400 There's no rescue, there's no helicopter rescue and there's no other people. 57 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,500 There's no margin for error. 58 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:38,600 If you get badly hurt, you'I probably die. 59 00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:49,700 I hadn't seen it from this angle, and it looked steep. 60 00:06:49,900 --> 00:06:53,900 I sort of thought, you know, "Christ, that's big". 61 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,200 Looks harder than I thought and than I expected. 62 00:07:01,300 --> 00:07:05,300 But I was excited. 63 00:07:21,700 --> 00:07:24,000 Starting doing it was brilliant. 64 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:28,200 This is what we live for. 65 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:56,200 I love the actual movement of climbing. 66 00:07:56,300 --> 00:07:59,000 When you're climbing well it just feels brilliant. 67 00:07:59,100 --> 00:08:02,700 It's like a combination between ballet and gymnastics. 68 00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:06,900 It's that mixture of power and grace. 69 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:15,800 For me, mountains are the most beautiful places in the world. 70 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:20,100 When I go into these places I feel an amazing sense of space, 71 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:23,800 an amazing sense of freedom, when I get away 72 00:08:23,900 --> 00:08:27,900 from all of the clutter that we have in the world. 73 00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:04,100 I think we surprised ourselves as we got up the icefield about 300m, 74 00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:08,200 and got up to a point where the ice is running through rock bands, 75 00:09:08,300 --> 00:09:12,300 and you've got vertical cascades. 76 00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:18,300 We started intricately climbing through these. 77 00:09:31,700 --> 00:09:34,000 The fact, that you are tied to your partner, 78 00:09:34,100 --> 00:09:38,100 means that you put an immense amount of trust in someone else's skill and ability. 79 00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:43,300 But at some point, you may be thinking, 80 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:47,400 "For god's sake, Simon, don't fall here, for god's sake, don't fall here" 81 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:57,000 The rope can be something that rather than save your life, could kill you. 82 00:09:57,200 --> 00:10:00,200 If your mate falls off then all this gear rips out, you're dead, 83 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:04,000 you're gonna go with him. 84 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:08,200 If you're gonna do that sort of climbing at some point you're gonna have to rely 85 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:12,800 wholly on your partner. 86 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:23,400 I think we were very pleased at the end of that first day. 87 00:10:23,500 --> 00:10:25,500 We had done a lot of climbing, good climbing. 88 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:29,600 And we were very confident at that point that we should make it. 89 00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:38,300 That altitude, you dehydrate enormously. 90 00:10:38,500 --> 00:10:41,500 You have to drink a lot of fluid, 4-5 liters a day. 91 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:45,600 And the only way you can get it, is by melting snow. 92 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:49,100 Everything is so time-consuming. 93 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:52,800 To make a single brew at that altitude takes a very long time, 94 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:57,000 You're perhaps looking at an hour just to make a couple of cups. 95 00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:00,900 For that reason, we perhaps didn't brew up as much as we should have done 96 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:05,000 but we didn't have an awful lot of spare gas with us, either. 97 00:11:15,900 --> 00:11:19,900 There's not a lot of risk in our lives normally now. 98 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:27,600 And to put an element of risk back into it takes us out of the humdrum. 99 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:34,400 In that sense, it makes you feel more alive. 100 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,500 I've never been that high before, and it's 101 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:47,600 very very strenuous to climb ice like that. 102 00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:54,000 Not only is it technically difficult and unstable and frightening, 103 00:11:54,100 --> 00:11:58,100 but your heart is going like crazy because of the altitude. 104 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:52,600 It would now go very cold indeed. 105 00:12:53,100 --> 00:12:57,100 And we were up 5800-6000m, it was windy. 106 00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:58,900 Then it started snowing, and it meant 107 00:12:58,900 --> 00:13:02,900 that the whole face was pooring with powdersnow avalanches. 108 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:20,200 The snow would actually stick on the outside of your clothing. 109 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:24,300 It would then freeze on top of you, like you're wearing a suit of armor. 110 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:36,000 The last section on the face 111 00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:40,100 was about 100m of the most nightmarish climbing. 112 00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:44,600 Completely unstable powder snow. 113 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:48,000 No anchors at any point. 114 00:13:48,100 --> 00:13:52,100 It was physically very, very tiring, full-body climbing really. 115 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:06,400 It took us the best part of 5 or 6 hours to climb about 65 meters. 116 00:14:15,500 --> 00:14:19,000 Carried on way after it got dark. 117 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:22,300 I was getting extremely cold, 'cause I was sitting still 118 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:25,200 while Simon was trying to climb. 119 00:14:25,300 --> 00:14:28,000 I was getting near hypothermic. 120 00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:30,700 You just knew that if you'd just carried on, regardless, 121 00:14:30,900 --> 00:14:33,700 it was gonna go tits up. 122 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:37,800 So we dug a snow cave. 123 00:14:53,700 --> 00:14:56,000 In the morning, in good weather, 124 00:14:56,100 --> 00:15:00,100 we actually saw what we'd been trying to climb. 125 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,300 It was this undeering nightmare of 126 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:14,400 flutings of the finest powder gouged out by snow falling down 127 00:15:16,100 --> 00:15:20,100 meringues, and mushrooms, and cornices all over the place. 128 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:26,600 We'd heard about these strange powder snow conditions you get in the Andes, 129 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:29,500 and we've never seen it before. 130 00:15:29,700 --> 00:15:33,700 I don't know the physics that explains why powder snow can stay on such steep slopes. 131 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:38,800 In the Alps it would just slide off if the slope was about 40 degrees. 132 00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:48,100 It is some of the most precarious, unnerving and dangerous climbing I've ever done. 133 00:15:58,300 --> 00:16:01,300 We were actually scared, that we would get to an impass, 134 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:03,900 where we couldn't climb any further up. 135 00:16:04,100 --> 00:16:07,100 Because we knew we wouldn't be able to get back down, 136 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:07,600 not what we've already climbed. 137 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:11,600 We were climbing ourselves into a trap. 138 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:16,800 And not only that, we could see this 150 meter drop that was waiting for us. 139 00:16:26,900 --> 00:16:30,600 And so it was with great relief that by 14:00, 140 00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:34,200 we got onto the north ridge and on the west face. 141 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:38,400 And we vowed that we didn't want to go near any of the flutings again. 142 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:51,600 We were pretty tired, by the time we got onto the ridge, 143 00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:56,300 I was knackered. And I remember thinking, 144 00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:58,200 "Oh sod it, we've done the face," 145 00:16:58,300 --> 00:17:01,200 "now I can't really be bothered to go all the way up there" 146 00:17:01,300 --> 00:17:05,300 And then we thought, "Hang on, we've come all this way," 147 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:10,400 "we might as well stand on the top" 148 00:18:26,900 --> 00:18:30,900 I don't particularly like summits, because 80% of accidents happen on descent. 149 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,400 We decided before we even climbed the face that we were going to come down 150 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:43,800 the north ridge of the mountain, down to a cul 151 00:18:43,900 --> 00:18:47,600 between the mountain Siula Grande and another mountain called Yerupaja. 152 00:18:47,700 --> 00:18:51,700 and then we'd be able to abseil down the smaller section of the face. 153 00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:02,400 Already the clouds were coming in from the east. Big clouds. 154 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:14,000 We expected this ridge to be quite straightforward, 155 00:19:14,100 --> 00:19:15,400 quite an easy way to descend. 156 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:18,000 We were hoping, we would be able to sort of walk. 157 00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:22,000 And it turned out to be very difficult. 158 00:19:22,100 --> 00:19:24,200 It was horrendous. 159 00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:27,600 Vertical on the west side, with the cornices overhanging the west side, 160 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:31,800 and on the east side steep fleetings running down 100m below us. 161 00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:38,900 It was a shock. And it was quite dangerous. 162 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:43,000 It all got a bit out of control. That stage of things. 163 00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:58,800 Half an hour to an hour after leaving the summit, we were lost. 164 00:19:58,900 --> 00:20:02,900 We were in the wild now, we couldn't see anything. 165 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:15,200 Then we got like a little break in the clouds and I saw the ridge, 166 00:20:15,300 --> 00:20:19,300 so I started climbing back up to it. 167 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:31,000 I didn't know it was the side of the ridge I was on, but 168 00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:35,100 it was actually an enormous cornice, an overhang of snow and ice, 169 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:40,000 and I was walking up over the top of it. 170 00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:04,300 I was left hanging, looking down, as all this snow and ice 171 00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:08,900 then fell away from me, down the west side of the Siula Grande. 172 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,400 I got back up on the ridge and shouted then to Joe 173 00:21:15,500 --> 00:21:17,400 that I'd found the ridge, like that, I said, 174 00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:21,500 "I found the ridge, Joe!" 175 00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:25,000 We'd hoped to go down that day, 176 00:21:25,100 --> 00:21:28,400 but by the time it got dark, we were still very high. 177 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:31,400 Still at 6000m. 178 00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:35,500 And that night, as we made a brew, the gas ran out. 179 00:21:55,500 --> 00:21:57,200 It was pretty obvious the following morning 180 00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:00,100 that we descended the worst part of the ridge. 181 00:22:00,300 --> 00:22:04,300 And I was pretty confident that we'd get back down to the base camp that day. 182 00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:09,800 I thought at that stage it was pretty much in the bag I suppose, the whole climb. 183 00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:15,700 I was ahead of Simon, 184 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:19,800 and suddenly there was this vertical wall, bisecting the ridge. 185 00:22:21,300 --> 00:22:25,300 I then get on my hands and knees, and hammer both my axes into the ice at the top 186 00:22:25,700 --> 00:22:29,700 and then lower myself off the ice cliff. 187 00:22:33,300 --> 00:22:37,300 When you hammer the axe in, you listen to the sound it makes. And you look at it. 188 00:22:39,700 --> 00:22:43,200 Now I was hanging with both axes, right. I took the hammer out, and 189 00:22:43,300 --> 00:22:45,500 what I wanted to do is now place it in the vertical wall. 190 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:49,600 And I swung, and the pick went in, and it just made a... 191 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:54,600 just a strange sound. 192 00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:57,500 And I thought, "Well, I'll take it out, make a good placement." 193 00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:01,600 So I just wanted to put bona... dead solid axe placements in. All the way down. 194 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:08,200 And I was about to swing at the ice again 195 00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:28,500 The pain is... came flooding down my thigh 196 00:23:28,700 --> 00:23:32,700 and my knee was very, very very painful 197 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:41,200 The impact drove my lower leg straight through my knee joint. 198 00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:49,200 As the bone went into my tibia it split the tibial plateau straight off 199 00:23:52,500 --> 00:23:56,500 and carried on up. 200 00:24:02,300 --> 00:24:06,300 Quite wild, the pain now. I couldn't cope with it at first. 201 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:14,300 I just breathed on and it started to go and I can remember looking across 202 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,400 to the west and seeing that we were level with the summit of Rasac, 203 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:20,700 so I had a height gauge, where we were. 204 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:24,200 and I just thought, "fuck, I can't have broken my leg", 205 00:24:24,300 --> 00:24:28,300 "If I have broken my leg I'm dead." 206 00:24:47,300 --> 00:24:49,800 And then the rope went slack. 207 00:24:49,900 --> 00:24:53,900 I knew that meant that Simon was coming towards me. 208 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:10,500 I couldn't feel any bone under anything. 209 00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:13,500 I brought my hand down, there's no blood on it, 210 00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:14,900 and the pain had gone down a little bit. 211 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:18,000 And I thought, maybe I was being a bit whacked, 212 00:25:18,100 --> 00:25:22,100 I'd just torn a ligament or something. 213 00:25:25,900 --> 00:25:29,900 I tried to stand on it 214 00:25:30,700 --> 00:25:34,700 I felt all the bone go, all grating and everything and I knew it was broken then. 215 00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:49,100 The look that he gave to me sticks in my mind 216 00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:53,100 A look of shock and desperation and a sort of terror. 217 00:25:53,300 --> 00:25:57,300 Lots of things in a single look. 218 00:25:58,300 --> 00:26:00,400 And he said, "Are you ok?" 219 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:04,400 I think it did occur to me to say, "Yeah, I'm fine". That was stupid. 220 00:26:05,500 --> 00:26:09,500 I think I said, "No, I've broken my leg". 221 00:26:11,300 --> 00:26:15,300 Immediately, just doom. I thought "god, we're stuffed". 222 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:22,000 We're gonna be doing well if either of us gets out of this now. 223 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,000 It did come into my mind, just thinking, 224 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:31,000 "If he slips off the side of the mountain now, then I can just clear off," 225 00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:35,600 "and leave him and get myself down and I don't have to have all the hassle," 226 00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:40,800 "of trying to deal with him and with the situation we're in". 227 00:26:45,100 --> 00:26:48,100 He gave me these painkillers which were effectively headache tablets. 228 00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:52,200 And he didn't really talk about anything. 229 00:26:53,500 --> 00:26:57,300 It was almost as if he... He knew, what this meant. 230 00:26:57,500 --> 00:27:01,500 He knew, and I knew, that he was going to have to leave me. 231 00:27:03,900 --> 00:27:06,900 He could have said something like "I'm just going to get some help" 232 00:27:07,100 --> 00:27:10,900 and I'd gone "right, yeah" 233 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,100 'Cause I knew there wasn't any help. 234 00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:16,700 That'd been an easy way for him to say it. 235 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:21,000 I didn't think we really seriously thought that there was any choice 236 00:27:30,700 --> 00:27:34,700 I couldn't put my finger on it, why I thought something had happened. 237 00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:40,600 And I started to think "Is one of them dead, or are both of them dead?" 238 00:27:42,300 --> 00:27:45,700 Even "If one of them is dead", not "which one do I want to be dead", but 239 00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:49,800 "if one comes back, who do I want it to be?" 240 00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:53,200 It's kind of, quite cold to say it, but I guess 241 00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:57,200 I would rather have it would have been Simon. 242 00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:04,400 I thought, "oh, he's not leaving" 243 00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:12,600 I calmed down a bit and managed to focus myself again 244 00:28:12,900 --> 00:28:16,900 to think how I was going to get him down the mountain. 245 00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:24,300 We discussed, between us, what we were going to have to do. 246 00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:27,200 We thought, well, we got 2 ropes that are 50m long. 247 00:28:27,300 --> 00:28:31,300 And if we tie them together we have a 100m rope with a knot in the middle of it. 248 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:35,000 So I tied to one end and Simon tied to the other, 249 00:28:35,100 --> 00:28:39,100 in theory he could lower me down 100m. 250 00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:45,100 To really get anchors to lower him from that do matter, 251 00:28:45,300 --> 00:28:49,300 what I did was cut a bucket in the snow, sit in there and brace myself. 252 00:28:49,700 --> 00:28:53,700 And I sort of lay down between his legs. 253 00:28:55,300 --> 00:28:59,300 And Simon started lowering then. 254 00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:07,000 I'd lower him one rope length, 50m, 255 00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:09,900 and then the knot would come up between the two ropes. 256 00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:13,100 Now the knot would not go through the belay plates. 257 00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:15,000 So he would stop me. 258 00:29:15,100 --> 00:29:16,900 I would stand on my left leg, my good leg, 259 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:19,900 so that I could get the weight off the rope. 260 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:23,000 I gave him enough slack to be able to unclip the rope 261 00:29:23,100 --> 00:29:27,100 thread the rope back through the lowering device, with the knot on the other side 262 00:29:27,900 --> 00:29:31,900 clip it back to himself and lower me the remaining 50m. 263 00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:43,600 He'd make himself reasonably secure, and I down climbed to join him. 264 00:29:44,300 --> 00:29:48,300 And we'd repeat the process again. 265 00:29:50,700 --> 00:29:52,600 Simon was trying to lower me fast, 266 00:29:52,700 --> 00:29:56,700 and it meant that my foot kept jabbing in and jabbing in and bending the knee. 267 00:29:58,700 --> 00:30:01,000 Excruciatingly painful. 268 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:04,500 I can remember feeling angry with him because he was hurting me, 269 00:30:04,700 --> 00:30:06,000 and I was thinking "do it slow", 270 00:30:06,100 --> 00:30:10,100 and I also knew that he had to do it this fast. He hadn't got a choice. 271 00:30:11,900 --> 00:30:15,900 And he was very grim faced, I remember looking at him, 272 00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:21,600 wondering if he was pissed off with the whole thing. 273 00:30:22,500 --> 00:30:26,500 I couldn't take too much notice unfortunately of these cries of pain, 274 00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:31,200 because we got to go down. 275 00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:39,600 We would dig these holes from the sitting in the powder snow, 276 00:30:39,700 --> 00:30:43,700 and they would last about the length of the time it took to lower me. 277 00:30:43,900 --> 00:30:46,400 And in fact they were crumbling around him. 278 00:30:46,500 --> 00:30:50,400 And he was lowering me on a 9mm, well 8.8mm rope. That's that thick. 279 00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:53,500 But hands sort of frozen. 280 00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:55,200 What he did was quite extraordinary, 281 00:30:55,300 --> 00:30:59,300 and I've never heard of any single handed mountain rescue like that. 282 00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:17,600 We were now lowering in a full storm. I don't know what the wind chill factor was, 283 00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:20,900 but it would be like -80 or something like that. 284 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:25,000 I lost a liter of blood in my leg, I was in shock and severly dehydrated 285 00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:31,300 It was a point where we should have dug a snow cave and taken shelter, 286 00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:35,400 got in our sleeping bags and made a hot brew, and rehydrate. 287 00:31:36,700 --> 00:31:39,000 We couldn't, 'cause we'd run out of gas. 288 00:31:39,100 --> 00:31:42,900 And we just lost control at this point because we couldn't dig a snow cave, 289 00:31:43,100 --> 00:31:47,100 and risk getting trapped by a storm that didn't break. 290 00:32:43,700 --> 00:32:47,700 It was all starting to look up in many ways at that point, as we were virtually down. 291 00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:56,100 And I started to slowly think, 292 00:32:56,200 --> 00:33:00,200 "maybe after this one we will have one more, and we'll be on the glacier". 293 00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:05,300 And suddenly all got hard on my elbows, and icy, 294 00:33:05,500 --> 00:33:09,300 and it got steeper, going down a slope and suddenly it's steeper, 295 00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:13,400 and I just was full of alarm. 296 00:33:16,300 --> 00:33:20,300 I was screaming at Simon to stop as loud as I could, and he just couldn't hear me. 297 00:33:33,900 --> 00:33:37,700 I did notice that more weight came onto the rope, 298 00:33:37,900 --> 00:33:40,900 but didn't really think a lot about this. And I just thought, 299 00:33:41,100 --> 00:33:44,500 "Well, he's going over some steeper ground" 300 00:33:44,700 --> 00:33:48,700 When I looked down, and I glimpsed 'cause there was a big drop underneath me, 301 00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:54,800 I was horrified to discover what I'd gone over. 302 00:33:55,300 --> 00:33:59,300 And I could clearly see that there was a large crevice directly under the cliff, 303 00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:03,600 about 25m below me. 304 00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:08,800 I was trying to get my axes to see if I could reach this wall that was out there, 305 00:34:08,900 --> 00:34:12,900 I think, almost as I start and try to do that, I started being lowered again. 306 00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:16,700 And I was thinking, "Christ, don't do it, don't do it", 307 00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:20,800 'cause I knew, that there wasn't enough rope to get me to the bottom. 308 00:34:21,500 --> 00:34:23,300 And if I couldn't get my weight off the rope, 309 00:34:23,300 --> 00:34:25,300 he couldn't disconnect the rope, to get on the other side. 310 00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:28,700 And I knew all this, and I was screaming again, not to lower me. 311 00:34:28,900 --> 00:34:32,900 I carried on lowering him, until I reached the knot, then shook the rope. 312 00:34:34,100 --> 00:34:38,100 My signal to him, to take the weight off the rope. 313 00:34:39,900 --> 00:34:43,100 And nothing happened. 314 00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:47,200 And nothing continued to happen. 315 00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:17,800 I knew, that the only way out of this is if I could climb up the rope. 316 00:35:33,100 --> 00:35:37,100 I had two prusik loops. Prusik loops are thin cords of rope. 317 00:35:39,100 --> 00:35:43,100 And if you use a special twisting knot on the rope, you can slide it up the rope, 318 00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:46,200 and pull on it, and the knot grips the rope. 319 00:35:46,300 --> 00:35:49,400 Clip a snapping to it and then a sling to it, and you can stand up. 320 00:35:49,500 --> 00:35:53,300 And if you got another one, tied above it, you slide that one up, 321 00:35:53,500 --> 00:35:57,500 Standing this loop is now higher. 322 00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:10,400 I was trying to hold myself upright, to keep the rope in place. 323 00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:13,400 And then trying to put this knot through itself, and through itself, 324 00:36:13,500 --> 00:36:17,500 and this fiddly bloody rope... it is just hard to describe how I couldn't do it. 325 00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:20,400 Because my fingers, I just couldn't feel the fingers at all. 326 00:36:20,500 --> 00:36:24,100 And I'd be looking and trying to push the thing in, and using my teeth, 327 00:36:24,300 --> 00:36:28,300 and getting it round, and getting it round. 328 00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:36,400 My hands were cold, my feet were... I was very very cold. 329 00:36:40,300 --> 00:36:44,100 It was a desperate position, made worse by the fact that that I had no idea 330 00:36:44,300 --> 00:36:48,300 what Joe was doing, or what position he was in. 331 00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:52,800 I just couldn't figure out why it was taking him so long to get his weight off the rope, 332 00:36:55,100 --> 00:36:59,100 there was no sensible explanation for it. 333 00:37:03,900 --> 00:37:07,900 I got one on, and I clipped it to my chest, because that would keep me upright. 334 00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:13,200 And I tried to put the other one on, and I had real trouble with my hands. 335 00:37:21,900 --> 00:37:25,900 And I dropped the bloody thing, and I watched it fall. 336 00:37:27,100 --> 00:37:31,100 And I knew that I was stuffed then. 337 00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:34,900 I just thought, "Well, I can't climb the rope", 338 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:36,600 this idea that you can climb a rope hand over hand, you can't, 339 00:37:36,700 --> 00:37:40,700 especially when your hands are frozen. You just can't do it. 340 00:37:50,300 --> 00:37:54,300 Nothing I can do, and I felt completely helpless. 341 00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:58,800 And really angry. 342 00:38:08,300 --> 00:38:12,100 There was nothing I could do. I couldn't get the weight off the rope, 343 00:38:12,300 --> 00:38:16,300 I was just there, and this went on for maybe an hour and a half, 344 00:38:16,900 --> 00:38:20,300 during which time my position became more and more desperate. 345 00:38:20,500 --> 00:38:24,500 I was struggling to maintain the, sort of shivery seat that I sat in, 346 00:38:26,700 --> 00:38:30,700 and the snow was gradually sliding away from under me. 347 00:38:33,500 --> 00:38:37,500 So my position was getting desperate. 348 00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:49,400 I think psychologically I was beaten. 349 00:38:49,900 --> 00:38:51,700 'Cause there was nothing I could do, 350 00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:55,800 so I just hung on the rope and waited to die. 351 00:38:57,200 --> 00:39:01,200 And I think I would have died pretty soon, actually. The wind chill was very low. 352 00:39:15,300 --> 00:39:19,300 I was literally going down the mountain in little, jerky stages. 353 00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:24,200 'Cause this soft, sugary snow collapsed away underneath me. 354 00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:30,400 I was expecting him to come off, and couldn't do anything about it. 355 00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:34,500 He was gonna fall about 100m. 356 00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:38,600 50m away from me, he was gonna fall double that, he was gonna die. 357 00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:44,800 And he really didn't know, whether I was meters off the ground, or centimeters, 358 00:39:44,900 --> 00:39:48,900 he just didn't know. But he knew, I think, pretty sadly, that he was gonna die. 359 00:39:54,500 --> 00:39:58,500 Then I remembered that I've got a pen knife in the top of my rucksack. 360 00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:05,600 I took the decision pretty quickly. 361 00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:10,000 To me, it just seemed like the right thing to do under the circumstances. 362 00:40:14,900 --> 00:40:18,900 Because there was no way that I could maintain where I was, 363 00:40:19,100 --> 00:40:23,100 sooner or later, I was going to be pulled from the mountain. 364 00:40:26,300 --> 00:40:29,700 I took the rucksack off, and then unzipped the top pocket with one hand, 365 00:40:29,900 --> 00:40:33,900 and got the pen knife out. 366 00:40:49,900 --> 00:40:53,900 Boof! 367 00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:29,900 It was an awful night. 368 00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:33,900 My mind was plagued with the thoughts of what had happened to Joe. 369 00:41:34,100 --> 00:41:38,100 It took a long time to warm myself up. And I didn't properly, I guess. 370 00:41:39,500 --> 00:41:43,500 Had a very, very cold night. 371 00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:50,700 The overriding memory is just feeling desperately, desperately thirsty. 372 00:41:50,900 --> 00:41:54,900 To the point where I felt I could smell the water in the snow around me. 373 00:41:56,700 --> 00:41:59,100 I felt that very strongly. 374 00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:03,200 It was quite a strange thing. 375 00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:57,200 I didn't know what had happened. 376 00:42:57,300 --> 00:43:00,300 What I landed on wasn't flat, it was sloped on each side. 377 00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:04,400 And I was sliding, in the dark. 378 00:43:08,900 --> 00:43:12,800 I think I must have fallen about 50m in total. 379 00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:17,000 I was pretty surprised to be alive. 380 00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:34,000 The head torch beam just went down, and down, and down, 381 00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:38,200 and the darkness just ate it, just gone. 382 00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:42,200 I felt very unnerved, very very vulnerable. 383 00:43:42,300 --> 00:43:46,300 If I had landed less than 1m further to the right, 384 00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:51,000 I would have just gone down this huge hole. 385 00:43:52,700 --> 00:43:56,700 I got this ice screw in, pretty quickly. 386 00:44:04,500 --> 00:44:07,900 And then looked around, and thinking, 387 00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:12,000 "Jezus, it's gonna be nearly impossible to get out of" 388 00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:25,000 My rope was going all the way up, 25m, up to this small entry hall. 389 00:44:25,300 --> 00:44:29,300 And I thought, Simon is on the end of that. 390 00:44:31,500 --> 00:44:35,500 But I felt sure he was dead. And it didn't mean anything. 391 00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:39,300 I just thought, "If I pull on this rope, it will come tight on his body". 392 00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:43,400 Because he would have flown off the cliff, on to the downside of the crevice, 393 00:44:43,900 --> 00:44:46,700 and then, Iying dead there, like a counterweight, 394 00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:50,700 the rope would have come back up and then dropped into the crevice. 395 00:44:50,900 --> 00:44:54,900 So I thought, if I pull on this rope it will come tight on his body". 396 00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:14,200 And it just kept coming, and coming, and coming, 397 00:45:28,900 --> 00:45:32,900 As soon as I saw it, I knew it had been cut. 398 00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:45,200 I thought, "you're gonna die in here". 399 00:45:46,900 --> 00:45:50,900 I had a pleased feeling, that it meant that Simon was alive. 400 00:45:54,700 --> 00:45:58,700 Simon! 401 00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:13,000 Looking where I was was an awful prospect. 402 00:46:13,300 --> 00:46:17,300 You don't die of a broken leg. 403 00:46:27,300 --> 00:46:31,300 I think I did turn my head torch off to save the batteries. 404 00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:49,800 It was dark, and it began to get to me. 405 00:46:58,900 --> 00:47:02,000 There is something about crevices, 406 00:47:02,100 --> 00:47:06,100 they have a dread feel, not the place for the living. 407 00:47:14,300 --> 00:47:18,300 I could hear the ice cracking, and wind noises in the ice. 408 00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:27,200 I turned the light on again, 'cause I didn't like it in the dark. 409 00:47:40,500 --> 00:47:44,500 I felt very, very alone. 410 00:47:46,100 --> 00:47:50,100 And I was very scared. 411 00:47:50,600 --> 00:47:54,600 I was 25, I was fit, I was super ambitious. 412 00:47:58,300 --> 00:48:02,300 And this was the first trip I've been on. I wanted to climb the world, 413 00:48:03,100 --> 00:48:07,100 and it just didn't seem... this hadn't been part of our game plan. 414 00:48:14,300 --> 00:48:16,300 It must have been quite late. 415 00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:20,400 I think that I pretty much was thinking that I wasn't gonna get out. 416 00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:28,400 Fuck. Stupid, stupid... 417 00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:10,000 As a climber you should always be in control, you have to be in control. 418 00:49:10,600 --> 00:49:14,600 So doing that, you could be seen as half a failure. You lost it. 419 00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:41,400 This is childish. I just cried and cried. 420 00:49:41,500 --> 00:49:45,500 I thought, 421 00:49:47,100 --> 00:49:51,100 I'd be tougher than that. 422 00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:24,200 It was getting light, as it was 5 or 6. 423 00:50:25,300 --> 00:50:29,300 And I started screaming Simon's name again. 424 00:50:34,500 --> 00:50:38,500 I got myself up, got dressed inside the snow home and packed everything away, 425 00:50:45,100 --> 00:50:46,800 Just a horrible feeling of dread. 426 00:50:46,900 --> 00:50:50,900 By this stage, I strongly felt that Joe had been killed the previous day. 427 00:50:51,700 --> 00:50:55,700 And that now I was going to die, as some form of retribution. 428 00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:04,000 But rather than just sit here, feeling sorry for myself or whatever, 429 00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:09,000 "I'll get on with it and I'll die on the way down". 430 00:51:13,000 --> 00:51:15,500 Very quickly, the ground dropped away steeply. 431 00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:19,600 So I skirted around this area of steeper ground. 432 00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:30,000 As I abseiled down, I could see this overhanging ice cliff, 433 00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:32,400 which was what I had lowered him over, 434 00:51:32,700 --> 00:51:35,500 so I knew that he'd had actually been hanging in space, 435 00:51:35,600 --> 00:51:39,600 which is the reason he couldn't get his weight off the rope. 436 00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:44,100 And as I went down lower, I could see to my horror, 437 00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:48,200 that the base of this ice cliff was an absolutely enormous crevice, 438 00:51:50,400 --> 00:51:54,400 that's 12m wide and just bottomless from where I was looking at it. 439 00:52:01,800 --> 00:52:04,800 SIMON! 440 00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:06,900 He would have been up with first light, I thought. 441 00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:09,300 'Cause I was desperately, desperately thirsty. 442 00:52:09,400 --> 00:52:13,400 And he would have been. And he would have wanted to get down, and get water. 443 00:52:14,400 --> 00:52:17,000 And he would have wanted to find me. 444 00:52:17,100 --> 00:52:20,600 Now I did stop and pause, and I shouted across into the crevice, 445 00:52:20,700 --> 00:52:24,700 and I yelled and yelled, "Joe, Joe". 446 00:52:25,100 --> 00:52:29,100 And I suppose again, with the benefit of hindsight, 447 00:52:29,400 --> 00:52:33,400 after I got off the rope, I should have gone and looked, 448 00:52:33,500 --> 00:52:36,800 into the crevice, to see where he was. 449 00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:41,000 But to be quite honest, the thought didn't occur to me at that time. 450 00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:47,600 I was just convinced he was dead. 451 00:52:54,300 --> 00:52:58,300 Absolutely convinced, by 10, totally convinced, that I was on my own. 452 00:53:00,700 --> 00:53:04,700 That no one was coming to get me. 453 00:53:09,200 --> 00:53:12,600 I was brought up as a devout Catholic. 454 00:53:12,700 --> 00:53:15,500 I had long since stopped believing in God. 455 00:53:15,700 --> 00:53:19,700 I always wondered, if things really hit the fan, whether I would, under pressure, 456 00:53:20,900 --> 00:53:24,900 turn around and say a few Hail Mary's, and say "get me out of here". 457 00:53:27,500 --> 00:53:31,000 It never once occurred to me. 458 00:53:31,200 --> 00:53:33,600 It meant that I really don't believe. 459 00:53:33,700 --> 00:53:37,700 And I really do think that when you die, you die. That's it, there's no afterlife. 460 00:53:38,500 --> 00:53:42,500 There's nothing. 461 00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:49,600 And I was thinking, "Could I climb out of here?" 462 00:54:36,200 --> 00:54:40,200 25 meter of overhanging ice. No way, I couldn't do it with a good leg. 463 00:54:44,300 --> 00:54:48,300 I knew that they were both dead. But I couldn't just clear off and leave the camp. 464 00:54:50,900 --> 00:54:53,900 For one thing, I didn't know anything about them, 465 00:54:54,100 --> 00:54:56,800 except for their first names, Joe and Simon. 466 00:54:56,900 --> 00:55:00,900 I didn't know their family names, I really knew nothing about them. 467 00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:04,700 And I had this bizarre idea, that if they'd fallen off the mountain, 468 00:55:04,900 --> 00:55:08,200 they would have just landed at the bottom of it. 469 00:55:08,300 --> 00:55:12,300 And I thought, perhaps from the bottom of the glacier, I'd be able to see them. 470 00:55:14,200 --> 00:55:18,200 And set off with the aim of going as far as I could. 471 00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:24,200 I started to go down the glacier on my own. 472 00:55:24,300 --> 00:55:28,300 In this stage I was still certain that I was gonna die myself. 473 00:55:29,600 --> 00:55:33,100 Crossing a glacier is very very dangerous on your own, 474 00:55:33,300 --> 00:55:37,300 because there are crevices in the ice, and the snow covers them. 475 00:55:38,900 --> 00:55:42,300 Fortunately I managed to find a faint outline of our tracks, 476 00:55:42,400 --> 00:55:45,400 from when we walked in. 477 00:55:45,600 --> 00:55:49,600 It was only when I got off the glacier, I realized that I was going to get down, 478 00:55:51,900 --> 00:55:54,100 I was going to get out of it, 479 00:55:54,200 --> 00:55:58,200 I was gonna live. 480 00:56:08,900 --> 00:56:12,900 I can't really describe how scary the night had been. 481 00:56:18,300 --> 00:56:22,300 I thought, it would be like that, for days. 482 00:56:25,100 --> 00:56:28,300 You gotta make decisions, you gotta keep making decisions, 483 00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:32,400 even if they're wrong decisions. 484 00:56:33,500 --> 00:56:37,500 If you don't make decisions you're stuffed. 485 00:56:54,400 --> 00:56:58,400 Short of dying on the ledge, my only chance was to 486 00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:03,600 lower myself deeper into the crevice. 487 00:57:03,700 --> 00:57:06,900 I didn't what I would find down there. 488 00:57:07,100 --> 00:57:11,100 I was just hoping there might be some way out of the labyrinth of ice and snow. 489 00:57:16,800 --> 00:57:20,800 And I really struggled to make that decision, I was so scared of going deeper. 490 00:57:32,300 --> 00:57:35,200 The other option was to just to sit there, 491 00:57:35,300 --> 00:57:37,500 blindly hoping that somehow it might get better, 492 00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:41,600 and I just knew it wasn't going to get better. 493 00:58:08,600 --> 00:58:11,700 I didn't want to look down, 494 00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:15,800 I was horrified at the thought that it was just empty down there. 495 00:58:33,900 --> 00:58:36,800 I didn't put a knot near the end of the rope, 496 00:58:36,900 --> 00:58:40,600 and if there was nothing down there I wouldn't be able to hold the rope, 497 00:58:40,800 --> 00:58:44,800 and then I would fall, and it would be quick. 498 00:59:06,100 --> 00:59:10,100 And I thought "Jesus, this is big!" 499 00:59:20,300 --> 00:59:24,300 By this stage I was completely physically done in, 500 00:59:25,400 --> 00:59:29,400 staggering back down these meringues, still desperately thirsty. 501 00:59:30,800 --> 00:59:33,200 There werre all these sort of thoughts swirling around in my mind, 502 00:59:33,300 --> 00:59:37,300 guilt, worry, thinking about how on earth am I going to explain this to Joe's parents, 503 00:59:39,600 --> 00:59:43,600 my friends, to Richard. 504 00:59:44,800 --> 00:59:48,800 The thought did cross my mind that maybe I could think up a decent story, 505 00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:53,000 that would make me look better. 506 00:59:53,500 --> 00:59:57,500 And I did quite think about that, for quite a while. 507 01:00:04,100 --> 01:00:08,100 Really the only image that sticks in my mind from all the time in Peru, 508 01:00:09,200 --> 01:00:12,600 is seeing this figure. 509 01:00:12,900 --> 01:00:16,900 And it was fairly close before I could see who it was. 510 01:00:20,600 --> 01:00:24,100 But he looked absolutely horrendous. 511 01:00:24,200 --> 01:00:28,200 You wouldn't recognize him. 512 01:00:30,400 --> 01:00:34,000 And I said, "Where is Joe?" 513 01:00:34,100 --> 01:00:36,700 And he just said, "Joe is dead". 514 01:00:36,800 --> 01:00:40,800 I told him the whole story, as we walked back to the camp, 515 01:00:41,100 --> 01:00:45,100 I told him the whole story of what had happened. 516 01:00:45,500 --> 01:00:49,500 He wasn't in the slightest bit judgemental about me or what I'd done, 517 01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:58,000 he took it very well. 518 01:01:12,600 --> 01:01:16,600 I must have lowered myself about 25m from where the ice screw was at the bridge. 519 01:01:25,100 --> 01:01:28,700 I was now in what seemed to be the base of the crevice, 520 01:01:28,800 --> 01:01:31,900 that was shaped like a big hourglass. 521 01:01:32,100 --> 01:01:35,000 To the ceiling, was probably about 50m. 522 01:01:35,100 --> 01:01:39,100 I think it's as big as the St. Paul's dome in scale. 523 01:01:41,900 --> 01:01:45,900 I remember looking down, and there was just solid snow. 524 01:01:46,300 --> 01:01:50,300 And I thought, "this is the bottom of the crevice!" 525 01:01:55,700 --> 01:01:59,700 About 15m away from me, there was a slope leading up. 526 01:02:01,300 --> 01:02:05,300 Right at the top, there was the sun coming through this hole. 527 01:02:06,900 --> 01:02:10,900 And it was shining, just this big beam of sunlight coming in. 528 01:02:14,600 --> 01:02:18,600 This was the way out I'd been looking for! 529 01:02:20,400 --> 01:02:24,400 I remember thinking, "Whoo, I can climb that slope, I bloody well will climb that slope!" 530 01:02:27,300 --> 01:02:31,300 I crawled across this flat floor, and I started crawling across on my stomach. 531 01:02:43,400 --> 01:02:47,400 Then I heard things breaking away underneath me. 532 01:02:48,700 --> 01:02:52,700 I realized that this wasn't a solid floor, it seemed to be hollow underneath it. 533 01:02:56,800 --> 01:03:00,800 I was absolutely horrified. 534 01:03:02,800 --> 01:03:06,800 It was suddenly, as if I was on an egg shell. 535 01:03:08,500 --> 01:03:12,500 If I break through, I'll never be able to get across to this slope, 536 01:03:13,000 --> 01:03:17,000 and that was my way out. 537 01:03:33,000 --> 01:03:37,000 Alright, I'm on it, this is solid now. 538 01:03:42,600 --> 01:03:46,600 I started to get my axe in and hop up. 539 01:03:50,700 --> 01:03:54,700 That is extremely painful, as your legs hopped up, they both came down together. 540 01:03:58,500 --> 01:04:02,500 I was trying to get into a better position, so that my left foot ain't first. 541 01:04:03,900 --> 01:04:07,900 But I inevitably went onto my broken leg. 542 01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:12,100 I feel the displacement go, the bone move, 543 01:04:12,200 --> 01:04:16,000 so every hop I nearly faint. 544 01:04:16,200 --> 01:04:20,200 It was just excruciatingly painful. 545 01:05:14,400 --> 01:05:18,000 And it was a bright sunny day. 546 01:05:18,200 --> 01:05:22,200 Wow, the whole world has come back. 547 01:05:24,900 --> 01:05:28,900 I was Iying on the snow, just laughing. 548 01:05:37,600 --> 01:05:41,600 That was the relief of getting out that place. 549 01:06:16,400 --> 01:06:19,400 And I then looked at the glacier and I thought, 550 01:06:19,500 --> 01:06:21,600 "Well, you haven't even started, mate". 551 01:06:21,700 --> 01:06:25,700 It's kilometers and kilometers and on really bad ground. 552 01:06:45,100 --> 01:06:49,100 But I think I was contemplating just sitting there, because I was coming at this, 553 01:06:49,900 --> 01:06:53,900 having done the most serious climb in my life. 554 01:06:54,200 --> 01:06:57,800 You come down safe from a climb like that, you'd be exhausted for days. 555 01:06:58,000 --> 01:07:01,500 You'd just eat and drink and sleep. 556 01:07:01,600 --> 01:07:05,600 I'd just come out of that, I'd badly broken a leg, I was in great pain, 557 01:07:07,500 --> 01:07:11,500 highly dehydrated, I had no food, and I was looking at trying to do that. 558 01:07:12,100 --> 01:07:16,100 Just no way, just no way you're physically gonna do that. 559 01:07:17,100 --> 01:07:21,100 And then it occurred to me that I should set definite targets. 560 01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:26,700 I started to look at things and think, 561 01:07:26,800 --> 01:07:30,200 "right, if I can get to that crevice over there in 20 minutes", 562 01:07:30,400 --> 01:07:33,700 "that's what I'm gonna do". 563 01:07:33,800 --> 01:07:37,800 If I got there in 18 minutes I was hysterically happy about it, 564 01:07:38,300 --> 01:07:42,300 and if I'd gotten 22 or 24 minutes, I was upset almost to the point of tears, 565 01:07:42,900 --> 01:07:46,900 and it became obsessive. 566 01:07:48,500 --> 01:07:52,500 I don't know why I did it, I think I knew the big picture of what had happened to me, 567 01:07:53,500 --> 01:07:57,500 and what I had to do was so big I couldn't deal with it. 568 01:08:41,700 --> 01:08:45,100 I stayed on Simon's tracks, and they were weaving around over humps, 569 01:08:45,200 --> 01:08:47,500 and past obvious crevices and stuff. 570 01:08:47,600 --> 01:08:51,100 I thought, "Well, unless I come to a hole with his body in the bottom of it," 571 01:08:51,300 --> 01:08:55,300 "these tracks will lead me through the minefield of crevices". 572 01:09:04,900 --> 01:09:08,900 All these huge mountains around you, big mountain walls. 573 01:09:10,600 --> 01:09:13,600 And they do make you feel small and vulnerable. 574 01:09:13,700 --> 01:09:17,700 And you wonder whether there's some malign presence out to get you. 575 01:09:31,600 --> 01:09:34,500 It was like somebody was just teasing an ant, 576 01:09:34,600 --> 01:09:36,200 and putting something in its way all the time, 577 01:09:36,300 --> 01:09:40,300 and eventually gonna stand on it. 578 01:10:41,200 --> 01:10:44,800 I could see Simon's tracks were filling in. 579 01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:49,000 They were my lifeline off the glacier. 580 01:10:49,700 --> 01:10:53,700 And I started to get very desperate. 581 01:11:08,600 --> 01:11:12,300 I carried on crawling in the dark, a stupid thing to do on the slope of the glacier. 582 01:11:12,400 --> 01:11:16,400 But I was frightened and I was just trying to see Simon's tracks. 583 01:11:39,900 --> 01:11:43,900 In the morning, it was a bright, sunny day, all the tracks had gone. 584 01:11:54,100 --> 01:11:56,500 I started quite early, 585 01:11:56,600 --> 01:12:00,600 and every now and then I had to stand up on one leg to try see the way, 586 01:12:00,800 --> 01:12:04,800 and then sit down again, and shuffle on. 587 01:12:34,400 --> 01:12:38,200 There was one very horrendous crevice bit right near the edge, 588 01:12:38,300 --> 01:12:42,300 and I got into a maze of them. 589 01:13:08,100 --> 01:13:12,100 I suddenly came to a point where I could see ice running down, then I could see rocks. 590 01:13:24,800 --> 01:13:28,800 It was probably me, who brought up the subject of leaving. 591 01:13:29,600 --> 01:13:31,600 Partly 'cause I was worried about Simon. 592 01:13:31,700 --> 01:13:35,700 I just felt it was best to get as far away as possible from where it had happened. 593 01:13:39,800 --> 01:13:42,300 I didn't want to leave immediately, 594 01:13:42,400 --> 01:13:46,400 I felt I needed a day or two just to collect my thoughts, 595 01:13:48,200 --> 01:13:52,200 and to regain some strength. 596 01:13:57,500 --> 01:14:01,500 Spend a long time washing myself. 597 01:14:06,100 --> 01:14:10,100 That felt good, to wash my hair and to wash my face, to have a shave, to... 598 01:14:13,600 --> 01:14:16,900 get the... 599 01:14:17,000 --> 01:14:21,000 get the remnants, the mountain out of my system. 600 01:14:54,100 --> 01:14:57,500 I was desperately thirsty, because it doesn't matter how much snow you eat, 601 01:14:57,700 --> 01:15:01,700 you just can't get enough water into your system. 602 01:15:02,100 --> 01:15:06,100 And I saw the rocks, I knew how big these boulders would be and how far it was, 603 01:15:06,400 --> 01:15:09,400 and that was the first time that I really thought about, 604 01:15:09,600 --> 01:15:13,600 whether I could get the distance. 605 01:15:18,200 --> 01:15:22,200 I got rid of all my gear. 606 01:15:36,000 --> 01:15:39,800 I knew that I couldn't crawl over these rocks, they were just too big and jumbled, 607 01:15:39,900 --> 01:15:43,900 and that the only way to do it was to try and hop. 608 01:15:45,100 --> 01:15:49,100 I knew I was gonna fall a lot. 609 01:16:45,300 --> 01:16:47,300 I'd fallen virtually every hop, 610 01:16:47,400 --> 01:16:50,700 and it's just like having your leg broken about every time, and I remember 611 01:16:50,800 --> 01:16:54,700 looking back where I'd come from, it was just over 20m, 612 01:16:54,900 --> 01:16:58,900 and it had taken me ages. And the pain, just of the 20+m... 613 01:17:11,900 --> 01:17:15,000 I can be insanely stubborn. 614 01:17:15,100 --> 01:17:19,000 And I do like to have things my way. 615 01:17:19,200 --> 01:17:23,200 And things were seriously not going my way over these days. 616 01:17:29,800 --> 01:17:33,800 I'd look at a rock and then I'd go, "Right, I get there in 20 minutes". 617 01:17:35,100 --> 01:17:39,100 Once I decided I was going to get that distance in 20 minutes, 618 01:17:39,300 --> 01:17:43,300 I bloody well was gonna do it. 619 01:17:44,700 --> 01:17:47,700 And it would help me, because I'd get halfway through the distance, 620 01:17:47,800 --> 01:17:49,100 and I'd be in such pain, 621 01:17:49,200 --> 01:17:52,600 I just couldn't bear the thought of getting up and falling on again, 622 01:17:52,700 --> 01:17:56,700 but I'd look at the target and think "I've got to get there". 623 01:18:07,400 --> 01:18:09,900 And I'd think, when I was Iying a bit long, and I think, 624 01:18:10,000 --> 01:18:14,000 "no, you gotta get there. You only got 10 minutes left, only 10 minutes left!" 625 01:18:16,500 --> 01:18:20,500 It seemed like there was a very cold, pragmatic part of me that was saying, 626 01:18:21,500 --> 01:18:25,500 "You have to do this, this and this, if you're gonna get there". 627 01:18:41,500 --> 01:18:45,500 "Come on, keep moving, keep moving" 628 01:18:51,900 --> 01:18:55,900 "Right, get up, and do it again" 629 01:19:00,800 --> 01:19:04,800 It was quite insistent, and quite clear. 630 01:19:05,900 --> 01:19:09,900 It was almost like a voice or a separate part of me, telling me to do something. 631 01:19:14,500 --> 01:19:17,900 Very uncaring. No sympathy, 632 01:19:18,000 --> 01:19:22,000 no acknowledgement of the fact that I might be tired or hurt. 633 01:19:23,300 --> 01:19:27,300 It was very, very odd. 634 01:19:36,100 --> 01:19:40,100 That part of me kept saying, "Keep moving, stop resting, keep moving", 635 01:19:41,300 --> 01:19:45,300 and the other part of me, my mind, anyway, just was, "Alright.", 636 01:19:46,000 --> 01:19:48,500 looking around and absorbing things. 637 01:19:48,600 --> 01:19:51,600 And as the hours went, and certainly as the days started to go, 638 01:19:51,800 --> 01:19:55,800 it became weirder and weirder. 639 01:20:42,900 --> 01:20:46,900 So I was very, very, very thirsty. Very dehydrated. 640 01:20:50,500 --> 01:20:54,000 And the agonizing thing is, all these boulders, these meringues, 641 01:20:54,100 --> 01:20:58,100 are on top of the glacier. And you could hear water running. 642 01:20:58,700 --> 01:21:02,700 All the time. 643 01:21:08,600 --> 01:21:12,600 I'd fall over a lot and I'd hear water and I'd start digging around searching for it. 644 01:21:36,900 --> 01:21:39,000 Couldn't find it, couldn't get it. 645 01:21:39,000 --> 01:21:43,000 And it was driving me mad, to be able to hear water. 646 01:22:08,200 --> 01:22:10,300 I was worried about Simon. 647 01:22:10,400 --> 01:22:14,400 About his health, 'cause his fingertips were still quite bad from frostbite. 648 01:22:16,400 --> 01:22:20,400 And I just felt it wasn't a place to be lingering in. 649 01:22:21,500 --> 01:22:25,500 We just started getting ready to leave in the morning. 650 01:22:32,300 --> 01:22:36,300 I did eventually collapse amidst the rocks, and I didn't sleep very well. 651 01:22:36,600 --> 01:22:40,600 My leg was very painful. It was agony. 652 01:22:40,800 --> 01:22:43,600 It was the first night, I think, it hadn't stormed. 653 01:22:43,700 --> 01:22:47,700 It didn't snow on me, and it didn't rain. And I could see the stars. 654 01:22:48,200 --> 01:22:52,200 I can remember Iying on my back for what seemed endless periods of time, 655 01:22:52,800 --> 01:22:56,800 staring at the stars. 656 01:22:57,300 --> 01:23:01,000 At one point I had this weird sensation that I had been lain there, conscious, 657 01:23:01,200 --> 01:23:03,900 for centuries, for lifetimes. 658 01:23:04,000 --> 01:23:08,000 Becoming part of the rocks, and part of where I was never gonna move from. 659 01:23:31,000 --> 01:23:33,700 The sun came up, and it started to warm me. 660 01:23:33,800 --> 01:23:37,800 And I thought it'd be just so nice to just lie there, don't move, and never hurt, 661 01:23:38,700 --> 01:23:42,700 and christ, I got so, so close to doing that. 662 01:23:50,800 --> 01:23:53,800 I genuinely believed that I wouldn't make the distance, 663 01:23:53,900 --> 01:23:55,900 and I also believed that I was going to die, 664 01:23:56,000 --> 01:24:00,000 and I sort of acknowledged it in a very matter-of-fact way. 665 01:24:03,400 --> 01:24:05,400 And it seemed very rational to keep on crawling, 666 01:24:05,500 --> 01:24:09,500 if you didn't think it was gonna be of any good. 667 01:24:11,500 --> 01:24:15,500 I think that it was that loneliness, that sense of being abandoned. 668 01:24:16,300 --> 01:24:20,300 It was there all the time. 669 01:24:22,300 --> 01:24:25,600 I didn't crawl, because I thought I would survive, 670 01:24:25,700 --> 01:24:29,700 I think I wanted to be with somebody when I died. 671 01:24:58,600 --> 01:25:02,600 Probably just a symbolic act to say goodbye to him, in my own mind, 672 01:25:05,700 --> 01:25:09,700 by doing that. 673 01:26:13,700 --> 01:26:17,700 I drank liters and liters of it. 674 01:26:20,500 --> 01:26:23,100 And it was just like putting fuel in, 675 01:26:23,200 --> 01:26:27,200 I could feel myself immediately just getting stronger. 676 01:27:34,500 --> 01:27:35,900 I kept wetting myself. 677 01:27:36,000 --> 01:27:40,000 And I can remember actually quite liking the sensation, the warmth of it. 678 01:27:46,400 --> 01:27:50,400 It was just a slow, steady reduction. 679 01:27:51,900 --> 01:27:54,900 Not just physically. Physically is very obvious, 680 01:27:55,100 --> 01:27:58,000 but you, everything, yourself. 681 01:27:58,100 --> 01:28:01,300 I felt left with nothing. 682 01:28:01,400 --> 01:28:05,400 And I didn't care anymore. 683 01:28:05,700 --> 01:28:09,700 Didn't have any dignity, you didn't care whether you're brave or weak or anything. 684 01:28:11,200 --> 01:28:15,200 You just became almost nothing. It was strange. 685 01:28:25,100 --> 01:28:29,100 I was still doing these test 20 minutes things, get here, get there. 686 01:28:31,200 --> 01:28:35,200 And then I saw these footprints. 687 01:28:36,300 --> 01:28:40,100 Then I got convinced, that it was Simon and Richard. 688 01:28:40,300 --> 01:28:43,300 They were up above me, and they were just following on, 689 01:28:43,400 --> 01:28:46,900 and I carried on crawling down, 690 01:28:47,100 --> 01:28:51,100 utterly convinced that they were wandering along behind me. 691 01:28:53,000 --> 01:28:57,000 And I can remember thinking, "that is really stupid, they would come and help you", 692 01:28:58,400 --> 01:29:01,100 and I think I persuaded myself that they were just following on, 693 01:29:01,300 --> 01:29:05,300 because they didn't want to embarass me 'cause I peed myself and I was crying. 694 01:29:08,000 --> 01:29:12,000 I don't know how long it lasted, maybe about an hour. 695 01:29:13,800 --> 01:29:17,800 I totally believed it, and then suddenly it was like popping a bubble. 696 01:29:21,400 --> 01:29:25,400 And then I realized that they weren't there, and I felt utterly shattered. 697 01:29:39,600 --> 01:29:43,600 It was about 4 o'clock when I reached the lake. 698 01:29:45,600 --> 01:29:49,500 And I that at the far end of it, there was a meringue dam. 699 01:29:49,600 --> 01:29:51,000 And from the top of that meringue dam, 700 01:29:51,100 --> 01:29:55,100 I would be able to look down into the valley where the base camp was. 701 01:29:55,700 --> 01:29:59,400 In fact, I would be able to see the tents. 702 01:29:59,500 --> 01:30:01,000 This was the first time I thought it, 703 01:30:01,100 --> 01:30:05,100 I thought, "I'm gonna make the distance, I can actually make the distance". 704 01:30:08,500 --> 01:30:12,500 Almost as soon I thought it, the next thought that popped into my head was, 705 01:30:12,900 --> 01:30:16,800 "Will there be anyone there?" 706 01:30:16,900 --> 01:30:20,900 I thought, "Christ, this is the fourth day since I saw Simon", 707 01:30:23,700 --> 01:30:27,700 and as I worked it out, I thought, "Why on earth would they be there?" 708 01:30:31,100 --> 01:30:34,700 I knew it got dark at six, and thought "I got to get there, I got to get there", 709 01:30:34,900 --> 01:30:38,900 and I was trying to do it as fast as possible. 710 01:30:44,300 --> 01:30:45,900 The rest of that afternoon, 711 01:30:45,900 --> 01:30:49,900 I was plagued by this dreadful feeling that they would have gone. 712 01:30:54,400 --> 01:30:58,400 I hadn't paid attention to what was happening with the weather. 713 01:30:59,000 --> 01:31:02,300 Between leaving at four and getting to the top of the meringues, about six, 714 01:31:02,400 --> 01:31:05,200 the weather had changed. 715 01:31:05,300 --> 01:31:09,300 So when I looked down at the valley, it was just full of clouds. 716 01:31:14,400 --> 01:31:18,400 I listened intently, hoping to hear a whistle or an answer, a cry back, something, 717 01:31:19,800 --> 01:31:23,800 and I didn't hear anything at all. 718 01:31:30,300 --> 01:31:34,300 and I spend a long time, sat there, crying, not sure what to do. 719 01:31:36,400 --> 01:31:40,000 I thought about getting in my sleeping bag. 720 01:31:40,100 --> 01:31:43,200 For some reason it just seemed a bit of a pathetic way to end things, 721 01:31:43,400 --> 01:31:47,400 just in a sleeping bag. 722 01:31:47,800 --> 01:31:51,800 I thought, "Well, nice but just keep going, you'll end it down there, somewhere". 723 01:32:03,300 --> 01:32:07,300 I don't know entirely what happened for the rest of that night. 724 01:32:11,300 --> 01:32:15,300 I stopped looking at the watch, and everything just started to go apart. 725 01:32:36,100 --> 01:32:39,100 And I think I just got lost. 726 01:32:39,200 --> 01:32:43,200 And I didn't know what I was doing anymore. 727 01:32:45,100 --> 01:32:49,100 I don't remember thinking of anyone, 728 01:32:49,800 --> 01:32:53,800 anybody I loved or any of that. 729 01:32:56,900 --> 01:33:00,500 I did have one time, when I got a song going through my head. 730 01:33:00,700 --> 01:33:03,900 And it was by a band called Boney M. 731 01:33:04,000 --> 01:33:08,000 And I don't really like Boney M's music. 732 01:33:36,000 --> 01:33:39,700 Brown girl in the ring, 733 01:33:39,900 --> 01:33:43,900 there's a brown girl in the ring, 734 01:33:45,400 --> 01:33:49,200 brown girl in the ring, 735 01:33:49,400 --> 01:33:52,800 she looks like a sugar in a plum, 736 01:33:52,900 --> 01:33:54,700 plum, plum! 737 01:33:54,800 --> 01:33:58,800 Show me your motion, 738 01:34:00,300 --> 01:34:04,300 come on show me your motion, 739 01:34:05,100 --> 01:34:07,600 show me your motion, 740 01:34:07,700 --> 01:34:11,700 And it just went on and on and on, for hours. 741 01:34:13,700 --> 01:34:17,500 I found it very upsetting, 'cause I wanted to try and get it out of my head. 742 01:34:17,600 --> 01:34:21,600 And I wanted to think of other things. 743 01:34:28,000 --> 01:34:32,000 I was thinking, "Bloody hell, I'm gonna die to Boney M". 744 01:34:48,000 --> 01:34:50,800 I remember sometimes not waking up, 745 01:34:50,900 --> 01:34:54,900 I think I was awake all the time, but coming to, it was like waking up, 746 01:34:55,300 --> 01:34:58,500 and sort of find myself sitting there, 747 01:34:58,600 --> 01:35:02,000 I didn't know where I was. 748 01:35:02,200 --> 01:35:05,400 It was pitch black and snowing, and I'd think I was back on the glacier, 749 01:35:05,500 --> 01:35:08,900 or I'd think I was in a public car park, and had been beaten up again, 750 01:35:09,000 --> 01:35:13,000 and then I'd just drift off again. 751 01:35:24,800 --> 01:35:28,700 I remember smelling something. 752 01:35:28,800 --> 01:35:32,000 It was a really strong smell. 753 01:35:32,200 --> 01:35:36,200 And it acted like a smelling salt, to cut through all this delerium. 754 01:35:39,900 --> 01:35:42,900 And I remember being really confused, I couldn't understand what it meant. 755 01:35:43,000 --> 01:35:46,100 It took me ages to to try and work out what it meant. 756 01:35:46,300 --> 01:35:49,700 I thought it was me. 757 01:35:49,800 --> 01:35:52,000 And very slowly, I worked it out, and I thought, 758 01:35:52,100 --> 01:35:56,100 "I've crawled through the latrine area of our camp site". 759 01:35:58,800 --> 01:36:02,800 And I realized then, that I was close to the tents. 760 01:36:12,900 --> 01:36:16,900 As I was shouting it, I thought, "This is it, this is as far as this game goes". 761 01:36:22,500 --> 01:36:26,500 I'm not capable of going any further. 762 01:36:31,500 --> 01:36:35,500 I made the mistake of having a little bit of hope, that they'd still be there. 763 01:36:37,400 --> 01:36:40,800 And when I shouted, and they weren't there, 764 01:36:41,000 --> 01:36:45,000 I sort of knew I was dead then. 765 01:36:58,100 --> 01:37:02,100 That moment, when no one answered the call, 766 01:37:13,000 --> 01:37:17,000 it was... I lost something. 767 01:37:20,200 --> 01:37:24,200 I lost me. 768 01:37:26,900 --> 01:37:30,200 I woke up, not knowing why. 769 01:37:30,300 --> 01:37:33,600 And was aware of this kind of strange atmosphere, 770 01:37:33,700 --> 01:37:37,000 I could hear the wind howling outside the tent. 771 01:37:37,200 --> 01:37:41,200 And started hearing something. 772 01:37:44,400 --> 01:37:46,400 It did slowly dawn on me, 773 01:37:46,500 --> 01:37:49,200 that really the only thing it could be, 774 01:37:49,300 --> 01:37:53,000 would be Joe outside shouting. 775 01:37:53,100 --> 01:37:57,100 But that was completely impossible, because he was dead, 776 01:37:57,700 --> 01:38:01,700 and he died 3 or 4 days ago. 777 01:38:02,300 --> 01:38:06,300 And then head it again, much sharper, 778 01:38:06,900 --> 01:38:10,900 and it really sounded like somebody shouting. Simon. 779 01:38:15,700 --> 01:38:19,000 I can have gotten into a panic, but first, it couldn't be Joe, 780 01:38:19,200 --> 01:38:22,100 because Joe's dead. 781 01:38:22,300 --> 01:38:26,300 And then, if he is out there, it's gonna be this horrible thing, 782 01:38:28,600 --> 01:38:31,100 it can't be a human being, because, 783 01:38:31,200 --> 01:38:35,200 no human being can possibly go through that, and be outside the tent. 784 01:38:41,300 --> 01:38:45,300 I was just kind of Iying there, really not knowing what to do. 785 01:38:46,200 --> 01:38:48,700 And then Simon woke up. 786 01:38:48,800 --> 01:38:52,800 "Simon!", it was quite clearly a shout of my name. 787 01:38:53,900 --> 01:38:57,900 I knew it was Joe actually, I knew immediately. 788 01:38:59,100 --> 01:39:03,100 I was looking around, and then I saw this thing, floating. 789 01:39:07,800 --> 01:39:11,800 Of course Simon exploded into action. 790 01:39:14,200 --> 01:39:18,200 Suddenly I heard voices. 791 01:39:19,100 --> 01:39:20,600 Is that you? 792 01:39:20,700 --> 01:39:24,700 I was holding back, because I didn't feel that was a human being out there. 793 01:39:41,600 --> 01:39:45,600 And we went back up the stream, right from where these cries had come from, 794 01:39:45,800 --> 01:39:49,800 about maybe 60-80 m outside the camp, and there was Joe. 795 01:39:56,900 --> 01:40:00,900 I couldn't completely believe it, until I actually saw him, 796 01:40:01,500 --> 01:40:04,500 but then it was still a little difficult to believe that, 797 01:40:04,600 --> 01:40:08,600 because of the eerie night and the state he was in. 798 01:40:09,300 --> 01:40:11,500 Absolutely awful state. 799 01:40:11,600 --> 01:40:15,100 It was almost like he was a sort of ghost-like figure. 800 01:40:15,200 --> 01:40:19,200 It was like I had to sort of pinch myself almost to believe this was true, 801 01:40:21,800 --> 01:40:24,800 that this was really happening. 802 01:40:24,900 --> 01:40:28,900 Help me! - Oh fuck, Joe! 803 01:40:30,700 --> 01:40:33,500 Simon, 804 01:40:33,700 --> 01:40:37,700 he was swearing a lot. Swearing a lot. 805 01:40:39,400 --> 01:40:41,200 Richard, lift him! 806 01:40:41,300 --> 01:40:45,300 Richard, hold him, you stupid bastard! Lift him! 807 01:40:46,100 --> 01:40:50,100 I remember Simon grabbing my shoulders, 808 01:40:51,000 --> 01:40:54,800 and holding me. 809 01:40:54,900 --> 01:40:57,600 I remember that. 810 01:40:57,700 --> 01:41:01,700 That feeling of being held. 811 01:41:24,800 --> 01:41:28,800 He thanked me for trying to get him down the mountain, 812 01:41:31,800 --> 01:41:35,800 for all that I'd done up to the point, 813 01:41:36,500 --> 01:41:39,800 where I cut the rope, 814 01:41:40,000 --> 01:41:44,000 and he said to me, "I'd have done the same". 815 01:41:47,000 --> 01:41:51,000 Those were the first words he uttered to me. 816 01:42:02,000 --> 01:42:05,700 And I remember, before we'd done anything to him, before we'd even close the door, 817 01:42:05,800 --> 01:42:08,300 he said, "Where are my trousers?" 818 01:42:08,400 --> 01:42:12,400 We had to explain, that we burned his trousers, which made him quite angry. 819 01:42:14,700 --> 01:42:18,700 And I think that kind of brought me back into life, to some extend. 820 01:42:19,000 --> 01:42:23,000 realizing it was the same old Joe, back again.