1 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:24,691 So, how do you like this rain, Danny? 2 00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:25,984 I'm sick of it, Jim. 3 00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:27,736 Well, it seems Mr. Sunshine should be 4 00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:29,571 peeking through those early morning clouds. 5 00:00:29,654 --> 00:00:30,947 Yeah, promises, promises. 6 00:00:31,030 --> 00:00:32,115 Folks, tell you what. 7 00:00:32,198 --> 00:00:33,366 We have a question for you, 8 00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:35,410 and the first caller with the right answer wins... 9 00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:37,203 An orthopedic tractor seat cushion, 10 00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:38,747 courtesy of Handy's Hardware. 11 00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:41,124 Okay, he was a recent two-term president. 12 00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:42,250 Of the Moose lodge? 13 00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:43,752 No, no, little buddy. 14 00:00:43,835 --> 00:00:45,962 The ex-President of the United States! 15 00:00:46,045 --> 00:00:48,089 And many say the most popular in history. 16 00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:50,175 The first President to be divorced in office. 17 00:00:50,258 --> 00:00:52,093 And he's moving right here to... 18 00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:53,470 Mooseport! 19 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:55,013 Okay, we got a caller here. 20 00:00:55,096 --> 00:00:56,296 Judy Dunkle, can you name him? 21 00:00:56,347 --> 00:00:57,682 Would that be Eagle Cole? 22 00:00:57,766 --> 00:01:00,393 Monroe "Eagle" Cole! 23 00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:02,312 Hey, congratulations, you're a winner, Judy. 24 00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:03,313 Morning, Handy. 25 00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:04,773 Mornin', Kent. Hey, looks good. 26 00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:06,941 Yeah. Yeah. Mornin', Harve. 27 00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:08,777 Mornin', Kent. Mornin', Harve. 28 00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:10,195 Mornin', Handy. Morning, Harve. 29 00:01:10,278 --> 00:01:12,071 Morning, Morris. Morning, Handy. 30 00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:14,407 Morning, Morris. Morning, Reuben. 31 00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:15,950 Morning, Handy! 32 00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:17,202 Morning, Stu. Morning, Fern. 33 00:01:17,285 --> 00:01:18,411 Morning, Handy. Mornin'. 34 00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:21,748 New socks, Harve? 35 00:01:21,831 --> 00:01:22,831 Yeah! 36 00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:23,994 Yeah, I like 'em. I like 'em. 37 00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:26,169 They go well with each other. 38 00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:27,378 Thanks. 39 00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:28,671 Morning, Handy. 40 00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:30,715 Oh, hi, Mandy. I didn't see you there. 41 00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:35,637 Ready, boys? Get it together now. One, two... 42 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:38,848 Nice! 43 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:39,933 Good job! 44 00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:48,608 Mornin'. 45 00:01:48,691 --> 00:01:49,943 Mornin', Irma. 46 00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:53,696 Hey. 47 00:01:56,991 --> 00:01:59,202 Hey, come on. 48 00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:01,037 Come on, Plunger. 49 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:03,039 - Hey, baby. - Martha, good mornin'. 50 00:02:03,122 --> 00:02:05,166 6:30 is too damn early. 51 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,210 It's not too early for Bruce, right? 52 00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:09,629 Bruce doesn't care what time it is. 53 00:02:09,712 --> 00:02:11,673 Bruce got a little morning breath goin'. 54 00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:13,049 Do you believe this? 55 00:02:13,132 --> 00:02:15,844 I mean, he decides to come a week early, 56 00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:18,638 and they expect us to get all that work done? 57 00:02:18,721 --> 00:02:19,722 Well, he's the President. 58 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,367 He's kinda used to getting what he wants. 59 00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:23,226 We'll get it done. 60 00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:24,411 You know what I like about Bruce? 61 00:02:24,435 --> 00:02:27,772 When he's here, my nose looks normal. 62 00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:29,858 Yeah, but his nose fits his face, boss. 63 00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:32,568 You're not funny, Bob. 64 00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:34,404 Let's go. 65 00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:37,031 Yeah, who do we have writing the speech for Tuesday? 66 00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,950 Yeah. No. I don't like him. 67 00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:43,872 Yeah. Hold, please. 68 00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:45,475 Hold on one second. Hold on one second. 69 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,381 Copy that. Go! 70 00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:58,595 Lucky bounce, Mr. President! 71 00:02:58,678 --> 00:02:59,822 Well, you know what they say, 72 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:02,307 "I'd rather be lucky than good." 73 00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:07,061 So, Mr. President, what are you gonna do next? 74 00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:09,063 Oh, so many offers, Chi Chi, 75 00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,481 it's an embarrassment of riches. 76 00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:12,567 First, there's the Farewell World Tour. 77 00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:14,903 Chance for me to say good-bye and thank you 78 00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:16,654 to all my wonderful friends. 79 00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:18,573 Writing my, uh, memoirs. 80 00:03:18,656 --> 00:03:19,800 And then, I'm doing something 81 00:03:19,824 --> 00:03:20,885 I haven't done in 26 years, 82 00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:23,411 putting my feet up, reading a newspaper 83 00:03:23,494 --> 00:03:25,079 without interruptions. 84 00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:26,456 Sounds good. 85 00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:29,292 Settle back in that beautiful place you have in Baltimore. 86 00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:32,086 Uh, afraid the First Lady got that one. 87 00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:34,714 In the divorce. 88 00:03:34,797 --> 00:03:35,673 Oh, right. 89 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,842 She got the best years of my life. 90 00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:40,803 But the one thing she won't get is my title. 91 00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:42,722 To the house? 92 00:03:42,805 --> 00:03:45,433 No. The title "Mr. President." 93 00:03:47,518 --> 00:03:49,354 Unless donkeys fly, 94 00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:52,607 they'll be calling me "Mr. President" for the rest of my life. 95 00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:54,067 She can have Baltimore. 96 00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:56,361 I'm fine with my lovely little summer place 97 00:03:56,986 --> 00:03:57,987 Mooseport. 98 00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:27,141 Four tango X-ray. 99 00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:29,143 Hold short of runway one-two. 100 00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:31,062 Sorry, Sally, we have the former 101 00:04:31,145 --> 00:04:33,314 President of the United States on final 102 00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,650 We've got orders to let him land first. 103 00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:37,151 Hold short. Damn it. 104 00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:17,316 Everybody, here we go! Stay sharp! 105 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,193 Welcome to the Mooseport White House, Mr. President. 106 00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:24,490 - Thank you. - Step coming up... 107 00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:26,200 All secure. 108 00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:28,536 Home, sweet home. 109 00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:32,206 Ah, it gets more magnificent every year. 110 00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:38,087 Take the dog for a pee, Grace. Ah! 111 00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:42,091 Oh, Jesus. 112 00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:43,843 It looks like Tiger Woods' funeral. 113 00:05:43,926 --> 00:05:45,404 Mr. President, I'd like to go over some of these... 114 00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:46,763 Uh, hold on, Bullard. 115 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,681 I have to take a quick cabinet meeting. 116 00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:57,398 Get in there! 117 00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:58,524 Oh! Hey! 118 00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:03,362 Oh! Sir, sorry. 119 00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:05,698 Sorry. Handy Harrison. Uh, it's an honor... 120 00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:07,408 Get his weapons. Back off! 121 00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:08,576 Got him! You all right, sir? 122 00:06:08,659 --> 00:06:10,471 I'm fine. I didn't realize one of the workers... 123 00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:11,972 I'm a worker. I'm just one of the workers. 124 00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:13,331 I'm sure he's been checked out. 125 00:06:13,414 --> 00:06:14,582 I've been... I've checked out. 126 00:06:14,665 --> 00:06:15,726 Oh, yes, sir, everybody's been 127 00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:16,830 totally cleared. Okay, good. 128 00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:17,877 I'll get outta here. 129 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,170 I'll... Let me... Yeah. 130 00:06:19,253 --> 00:06:21,589 Boy, sorry. And, uh... All clear. 131 00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:23,800 I just wanna say 132 00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:25,468 it's an honor to work for you, really. 133 00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:26,844 Thank you. Thank you very much. 134 00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:28,179 All right, just... 135 00:06:29,388 --> 00:06:30,765 Well, um... 136 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,728 I did come in here for a reason. 137 00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,105 Oh, right! Sure. 138 00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:38,272 Go right ahead, yeah. 139 00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:40,358 Sorry. Here. 140 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:43,640 I'll get that. I'll fix all that. 141 00:06:45,029 --> 00:06:46,572 It'll all be fixed. 142 00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:52,954 That was... President. 143 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,166 Well, at last! 144 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,570 Everyone, let's give the President 145 00:06:58,626 --> 00:06:59,919 a little privacy, shall we? 146 00:07:00,002 --> 00:07:01,254 Right away. Absolutely. 147 00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:03,482 We can go over all these offers anytime, Mr. President. 148 00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:05,675 Hold on! Hold on. How's it coming? 149 00:07:05,758 --> 00:07:07,426 We're finalizing dates this week, sir. 150 00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:11,597 26 speaking engagements, 14 days, 120 thou per. 151 00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:13,224 And? 152 00:07:13,307 --> 00:07:15,101 Clinton got a hundred thousand, sir. 153 00:07:15,184 --> 00:07:16,310 And my autobiography? 154 00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:18,187 Random House is offering 14 mil. 155 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:19,564 Harper Collins is at 13, 156 00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:21,357 but is offering a better ghostwriter. 157 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:22,441 Here you go. 158 00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:23,776 Excellent. Keep working it. 159 00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:26,112 We're up to 147 honorary doctorates, 160 00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:28,948 93 offers to be on the boards of Fortune 500 companies. 161 00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:31,284 Soova Motors is offering you $5 million 162 00:07:31,367 --> 00:07:33,411 to do a car commercial to air only in Norway. 163 00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:37,123 And of course, the big enchilada. 164 00:07:39,083 --> 00:07:40,668 The Monroe "Eagle" Cole 165 00:07:40,751 --> 00:07:42,253 Presidential Library. 166 00:07:42,336 --> 00:07:45,173 I like it. 167 00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:46,841 European rationalism 168 00:07:46,924 --> 00:07:49,468 interwoven with American modernism. 169 00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:52,096 A metaphor of organic growth. 170 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:54,265 A man-made mountain 171 00:07:54,348 --> 00:07:56,642 over which soars the eagle. 172 00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:58,311 Ah. It's fantastic. 173 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,396 Is it big enough? 174 00:08:00,479 --> 00:08:01,814 It's, uh, 175 00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:03,733 40,000 square feet, sir. 176 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:04,816 And? 177 00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:06,819 Clinton's is 20,000, sir. 178 00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,029 Excellent. 179 00:08:08,112 --> 00:08:11,199 Mr. President, it's the former First Lady, sir. 180 00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:12,700 Shall I tell her you're out? 181 00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:13,868 No, no, no. 182 00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:15,620 You excuse me? 183 00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:18,289 Here he is, Mrs. Cole. 184 00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:22,168 And the problem is? 185 00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:23,753 As the man who has just gotten 186 00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:25,963 the most lucrative speaking fees, 187 00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:27,173 the biggest book deal, 188 00:08:27,256 --> 00:08:29,425 the most board offers in history, 189 00:08:29,508 --> 00:08:30,801 I would think you'd know. 190 00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:31,969 Come on, honey lamb. 191 00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:33,655 You don't believe all that nonsense, do you? 192 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:36,682 No, Eagle, I believe it's just the tip of the iceberg. 193 00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:38,517 Charlotte, lamb, we settled. 194 00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:41,103 Pioneers settle. 195 00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:42,813 We rested. 196 00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,273 Seven million, and don't forget 197 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:45,983 you're selling Mooseport. Charlotte... 198 00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,860 It's a vacation home, Monroe. 199 00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:50,112 You thieving, conniving, ungrateful... 200 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:52,573 It's been a pleasure speaking with you, Mrs. Cole. 201 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:53,741 We'll call you back. 202 00:08:53,824 --> 00:08:54,700 Yeah, you too. 203 00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,410 Try to talk some sense into him. 204 00:08:59,538 --> 00:09:00,581 Seven million. 205 00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:02,124 It's a negotiation. 206 00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,751 You've handled dictators. 207 00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:04,961 You've handled terrorists. 208 00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:07,296 Terrorists were easier. I, I swear to God. 209 00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,219 Breathe. 210 00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:15,596 Let the lawyers handle it. 211 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:16,680 Breathe. 212 00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:21,269 Oh. I could... 213 00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:23,145 Oh, Grace, you're a miracle. 214 00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,442 Oh. Sorry. 215 00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:29,526 No, no, no. 216 00:09:29,568 --> 00:09:30,611 Come on in. 217 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:31,696 Can I help you? 218 00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:32,655 Yeah. 219 00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:34,156 Well, I don't mean to disturb you. 220 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,324 I'm-I'm all done in here. 221 00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:37,576 I mean, I'm done... 222 00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:38,660 I'm done fixing it. 223 00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:39,996 That-that flushing you heard, 224 00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:42,415 that's work-related, not personal. 225 00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:48,379 Hey, we're done. 226 00:09:49,588 --> 00:09:50,840 What? Plunger! 227 00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:54,260 Plunger! Plunger, stop it! 228 00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:56,679 Come here! 229 00:09:59,181 --> 00:10:00,683 What are you doing, huh? 230 00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:03,769 What? Hey, you trying to get us both shot? 231 00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:05,479 How many times do I gotta tell you? 232 00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:07,940 Keep that thing in your... body. 233 00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:09,025 Bad dog. 234 00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:12,194 You just sit there 235 00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:13,714 and let him do that right in front of you? 236 00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:15,323 I don't have cable, man. 237 00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,168 Come on, boy. 238 00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:28,753 Come on. 239 00:10:30,546 --> 00:10:32,340 Get up. Get up. Get up. 240 00:10:37,094 --> 00:10:38,095 Sally! 241 00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:42,308 Spit it up, froggy. 242 00:10:42,391 --> 00:10:43,392 Thank you. 243 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:45,227 Sally! 244 00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:46,771 You stay off her couch, Plunger. 245 00:10:46,854 --> 00:10:48,356 Sally! 246 00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:50,191 Sally! Hey, you up here? 247 00:10:50,274 --> 00:10:52,610 Guess what? Downstairs. 248 00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:54,070 Hey. Hey. Guess what came? 249 00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:55,196 Shh! 250 00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:56,614 Jane Ellen's delivering. 251 00:10:56,697 --> 00:10:57,698 Already? Sally! 252 00:10:57,782 --> 00:10:58,783 Wow. How's she doing? 253 00:10:58,866 --> 00:10:59,926 Hey, here comes another one. 254 00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:01,035 She's up to sextuplets. 255 00:11:01,118 --> 00:11:02,536 Sextuplets? 256 00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:05,873 Seven, right? Six. Seven! 257 00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:07,750 No, six, six. 258 00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:19,845 Chester. Huh? 259 00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:21,680 Aw, you did it, boy. 260 00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:23,224 Yeah. 261 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,435 Oh, boy. Oh, look at those paws. 262 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:27,603 It's gonna be giant. 263 00:11:27,686 --> 00:11:29,271 I know. Ooh! 264 00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:39,698 Hey, uh, so guess who I saw today? 265 00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:40,782 Who? 266 00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:42,243 Take a guess. Handy? 267 00:11:42,326 --> 00:11:44,203 Come on! Take one guess. 268 00:11:44,286 --> 00:11:45,286 The President. 269 00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:49,250 Oh, that's right, because everybody knows he's here. 270 00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:53,170 Okay. But not everybody gets a check for 17,000 big ones. 271 00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:54,255 Really? 272 00:11:54,338 --> 00:11:56,340 17,000. 273 00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:57,800 Man, you know what? 274 00:11:57,883 --> 00:11:59,927 I just... uh... 275 00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:01,846 I think I'm finally ready. 276 00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:08,936 Where were those towels? 277 00:12:16,861 --> 00:12:18,154 You're ready? 278 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,323 Y-Yeah. Yeah. 279 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:23,367 Ready to...? 280 00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:24,952 To get the new truck. 281 00:12:25,035 --> 00:12:26,120 The... a big one. A big one. 282 00:12:26,203 --> 00:12:27,538 You know, no more three trips 283 00:12:27,621 --> 00:12:28,873 to the lumberyard for me. 284 00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:29,957 It's gonna be great. 285 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,001 Dina, false alarm! 286 00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:37,506 I'll take him. 287 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,508 I'm not sensin' any enthusiasm. 288 00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:40,718 I'm thrilled... 289 00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:41,886 about your new truck. 290 00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:43,053 Really. 291 00:12:46,223 --> 00:12:47,223 Hey, look. You know what? 292 00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:50,352 Tonight after the... the party thing, 293 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:51,937 let's do something to celebrate. 294 00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:53,481 You know, let's... 295 00:12:53,564 --> 00:12:54,708 let's just go out, me and you. 296 00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:56,275 A little romantic dinner. 297 00:12:56,358 --> 00:12:57,485 Sure. 298 00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:59,153 Yeah, it'll be great. 299 00:13:02,406 --> 00:13:03,824 Okay. All right. 300 00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:05,993 Dina, say hi to Fred and the kids. 301 00:13:06,076 --> 00:13:08,746 All right. I'll see you later. 302 00:13:08,829 --> 00:13:10,831 Plunger, let's go! 303 00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:13,000 Well, he needs a new truck 304 00:13:13,083 --> 00:13:15,753 so he can load all that crap that he's full of. 305 00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:32,978 There he is! 306 00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:42,071 You look great, sir! 307 00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:44,949 Glad you're here, sir! 308 00:13:45,032 --> 00:13:46,075 Good to see you, sir. 309 00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:47,159 Over here! 310 00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:48,285 Mr. President! 311 00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:49,411 Over here, Mr. President! 312 00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:51,247 We're glad to have you here, sir! 313 00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:55,668 Glad you're back home, Mr. President. 314 00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:06,470 Here we are. 315 00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:08,097 Ooh! 316 00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:09,723 Morris! Morris! 317 00:14:10,724 --> 00:14:11,724 What? 318 00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:12,768 He's here. He's here. 319 00:14:12,851 --> 00:14:15,104 Al, "Hail to the Chief." "Hail to the Chief." 320 00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:18,774 Sir, welcome! 321 00:14:20,859 --> 00:14:21,902 Fifteen minutes. 322 00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:23,362 An hour. Thirty. 323 00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:24,863 Forty-five and it's a deal. 324 00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:26,240 Mm... okay. 325 00:14:35,666 --> 00:14:36,750 Sorry. 326 00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,254 Good evening. 327 00:14:40,337 --> 00:14:42,298 I'd like to thank everybody for coming. 328 00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:44,633 Tonight is a very special night 329 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:45,843 for Mooseport. 330 00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:47,136 In the words of Hunt Langley, 331 00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:50,806 who put it so eloquently in The Moose Call... 332 00:14:50,889 --> 00:14:53,434 "The Eagle has Landed!" 333 00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,312 How original. 334 00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:58,105 On behalf of the town council, 335 00:14:58,188 --> 00:15:00,649 let's give a big Mooseport welcome 336 00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:02,318 to our newest citizen, 337 00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:06,530 Monroe "Eagle" Cole! 338 00:15:10,909 --> 00:15:11,909 Yea! 339 00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:15,080 Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. 340 00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:17,124 As you all know, it's been over a year 341 00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:19,043 since I vacationed up here. 342 00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:22,004 So first off, uh, to the rumor that 343 00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:25,466 I'm only here because I lost my Baltimore house 344 00:15:25,549 --> 00:15:26,759 in my divorce... 345 00:15:27,926 --> 00:15:29,303 absolutely true. 346 00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:32,514 Now I am a Mooseport resident, 347 00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:34,850 and even though I didn't get a chance to meet many of you 348 00:15:34,933 --> 00:15:36,518 when I was up here as President, 349 00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:38,896 I certainly hope to... 350 00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:45,319 I certainly would, uh... 351 00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:50,032 hope to get to know you all a lot better. 352 00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:51,158 Maybe we could, uh, 353 00:15:51,241 --> 00:15:53,369 hit a few birdies or, uh, eagles... 354 00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:56,121 at your local golf links. 355 00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:59,750 Anyway, since I'm not here to ask for money, uh... 356 00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:03,671 uh, I don't know what else to say 357 00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:05,839 except to thank you so much for your 358 00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:08,467 hospitality and... 359 00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:10,969 see you around the burg. 360 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,849 Let's go. 361 00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:17,726 Thank you, Mr. President. That was great. 362 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,521 Uh, could a few of us have a word with you in private? 363 00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:21,647 Uh, the President has 364 00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:23,023 a limited amount of time. Sorry. 365 00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:24,566 This'll just take a second, sir. 366 00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,026 It's kind of urgent. 367 00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:27,110 Certainly. 368 00:16:27,152 --> 00:16:28,570 Ah, right this way. 369 00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:29,654 Excuse me. Hi... 370 00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:36,870 Mr. President, I'm sorry the timing isn't better, 371 00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:38,163 but it seems that your arrival 372 00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:40,416 has coincided with something of a crisis. 373 00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:42,918 Folks, I'm the Crisismeister. 374 00:16:43,001 --> 00:16:44,044 Shall I call the Marines? 375 00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:48,841 Would you care to sit down, please, sir? 376 00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:50,968 Thank you. 377 00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:54,596 Mr. President, Amos Harmon, our beloved mayor 378 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,598 of 24 years, just passed away. 379 00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,016 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. 380 00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:01,186 Anyway, sir, the town council met an hour ago 381 00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:05,023 in an emergency session and voted unanimously 382 00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:08,777 to beseech you, sir, to be our mayor. 383 00:17:10,028 --> 00:17:11,071 Your mayor? 384 00:17:12,156 --> 00:17:13,574 Mayor... 385 00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:17,786 That's good. 386 00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:19,996 Yes, sir. 387 00:17:20,038 --> 00:17:21,331 You see, before he died, 388 00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:24,334 Mayor Harmon was running, as always, unopposed. 389 00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:26,670 And with the filing deadline tomorrow, 390 00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:28,297 we were having a dilly of a time 391 00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:29,590 trying to find a replacement. 392 00:17:29,673 --> 00:17:31,133 And then Reuben here pipes up 393 00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:33,135 and says, "Why not get the President?" 394 00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,137 I said, "Get the president"! 395 00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:36,889 In our 240-year history, 396 00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:39,725 there would be no greater honor bestowed on our town. 397 00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:41,393 To have as our mayor, the most popular 398 00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:42,561 president in history. 399 00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:44,813 Popular, with approval ratings in the 70s. 400 00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:45,981 80s, actually. 401 00:17:46,064 --> 00:17:47,232 Uh, 85. Eighty-five. 402 00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:48,400 Eighty-five. Eighty-five. 403 00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:49,610 Unbelievable. 404 00:17:49,693 --> 00:17:53,155 Mr. President, you simply must say yes. 405 00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:54,531 Well, uh, folks, uh, listen. 406 00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:57,493 Even though I'm not in the Oval Office any longer, 407 00:17:57,576 --> 00:17:58,660 I do have plans. 408 00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:00,621 Sally, 409 00:18:00,704 --> 00:18:03,040 please, we're in the middle of something here. 410 00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:06,126 Sorry, I, uh, was just... 411 00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:07,836 getting my coat. I'll come back. 412 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:11,590 Uh, hold-hold on a second. Sally, is it? 413 00:18:11,673 --> 00:18:12,591 Yes. 414 00:18:12,674 --> 00:18:15,010 Sally, you, uh, seem like an engaged citizen. 415 00:18:15,093 --> 00:18:17,888 Uh, what would you think about my being mayor? 416 00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:20,015 Mayor? Really? 417 00:18:20,098 --> 00:18:21,517 And it was my idea! 418 00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:23,977 Um... 419 00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:25,354 I think you should do it. 420 00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:28,148 And then maybe you could do something 421 00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:30,442 about that landing situation. 422 00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:32,277 The landing situation. 423 00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:33,361 Uh, yeah. 424 00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:36,490 I'm a veterinarian and I had a critically ill 425 00:18:36,573 --> 00:18:38,826 donkey in my helicopter this morning, 426 00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:39,993 and I almost lost her 427 00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:44,832 because the president just had to land first. 428 00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:47,501 Oh, I'm-I'm terribly sorry, I didn't realize that. 429 00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:48,937 That must've been a procedural thing. 430 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,546 Standard security protocol, sir. 431 00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:51,880 Standard security. 432 00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,715 Maybe, if you were mayor, 433 00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:55,634 you could do something about that. 434 00:18:56,134 --> 00:18:57,469 Hmm. Absolutely. 435 00:18:57,553 --> 00:19:00,472 Uh, things like that shouldn't happen. 436 00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:01,723 I appreciate your opinion. 437 00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,660 It's really, really nice to meet you, Mr. President. 438 00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:05,644 Nice to meet you, too, Sally. 439 00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:08,689 Take care. 440 00:19:08,772 --> 00:19:10,023 Thank you. 441 00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:13,986 Well, Mr. President? 442 00:19:14,069 --> 00:19:15,863 I'm sorry, gentlemen, it's just... 443 00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:17,698 Hold on a second there, Bullard. Maybe... 444 00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:19,241 Excuse me, Mr. President. 445 00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:21,076 I suggest that we give them 446 00:19:21,159 --> 00:19:22,619 an answer tomorrow. 447 00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:24,329 Gentlemen, he'll sleep on it. 448 00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:26,248 Yes, I'll-I'll- I'll sleep on it. 449 00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:29,001 So we'll hear from you in the morning, sir? 450 00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:30,085 You have my word. 451 00:19:30,168 --> 00:19:31,879 You have the Eagle's word. 452 00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:34,256 Thank you, Mr. President. 453 00:19:36,341 --> 00:19:39,928 By God, that's just the way he sounds on TV! 454 00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:46,143 Hey. Sorry. 455 00:19:46,226 --> 00:19:47,978 Connelly's septic tank broke again. 456 00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:49,730 Ah, stood up for a septic tank. 457 00:19:49,813 --> 00:19:51,732 No. No. You look good. 458 00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:53,317 Yeah? Yeah. 459 00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:56,653 Ew! What? 460 00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:58,947 You stink. Too much cologne? Yeah? 461 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:01,742 No, not enough... Did you think about a shower? 462 00:20:01,825 --> 00:20:04,328 I... yes, I did, but then I would've been more late, 463 00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:06,705 and I didn't think it was bad. 464 00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:08,099 You know how you can't smell your own smell. 465 00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:10,959 I think that's what we kind of got going on here... yeah. 466 00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,961 So is this thing over? 467 00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,213 It's over for me. 468 00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:17,317 Hey. What do you want to do? You want to get something to eat? 469 00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:19,611 No, I'm not that hungry. I think I'm just going to go home. 470 00:20:19,635 --> 00:20:21,678 Wait. What? Come on. Is it that bad? 471 00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:24,932 I'll take a shower. We can take a shower. 472 00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:26,350 I already took a shower. 473 00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:28,119 Well, come on, Sally, what? What's the problem? 474 00:20:28,143 --> 00:20:29,394 I don't know. 475 00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:31,063 I'm just... 476 00:20:31,146 --> 00:20:33,398 You know, for the past six years... 477 00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:37,653 Today, when you said you were... 478 00:20:41,531 --> 00:20:42,658 I don't know, Handy. 479 00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:45,369 Why don't you tell me what the problem is. 480 00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:47,913 I don't have a problem. 481 00:20:47,996 --> 00:20:50,499 Well, that's the problem. 482 00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:53,502 Well, what do you... I'll see you tomorrow. 483 00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:00,008 I should have showered. 484 00:21:04,304 --> 00:21:05,472 Your newspapers. 485 00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:07,557 Good morning. Beautiful, Ramona. Beautiful. 486 00:21:07,641 --> 00:21:09,810 Today's agenda, ma'am. Thank you, John. 487 00:21:09,893 --> 00:21:11,436 Perfect, Smitty. 488 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:12,688 For God's sake, 489 00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:14,982 save me from Mooseport, Rod. 490 00:21:15,065 --> 00:21:16,459 Well, how about a job at the Pentagon? 491 00:21:16,483 --> 00:21:18,652 Gotta go. 492 00:21:18,735 --> 00:21:20,070 Morning, Mr. President. 493 00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:28,846 Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. 494 00:21:28,870 --> 00:21:31,206 Oh, Smitty, thank you so much. Sir. 495 00:21:31,289 --> 00:21:33,250 What's on tap today? 496 00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:34,710 Read the paper. 497 00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:36,211 Finally. Grace, you're wonderful. 498 00:21:36,294 --> 00:21:37,379 And then you can take 499 00:21:37,462 --> 00:21:39,047 that jog you've been wanting to take. 500 00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:40,882 Mm, fabulous. 501 00:21:42,592 --> 00:21:43,885 About that mayor thing. 502 00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:45,470 Oh, don't worry, Mr. President. 503 00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:46,471 We'll take care of it. 504 00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:47,931 "While the president is flattered, 505 00:21:48,015 --> 00:21:49,307 "he respectfully declines. 506 00:21:49,391 --> 00:21:51,059 "His schedule precludes him..." 507 00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:52,644 Actually, I'm considering it. 508 00:21:53,687 --> 00:21:54,688 Sir? 509 00:21:55,647 --> 00:21:56,898 Yeah, why not? 510 00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:58,317 Largely ceremonial. 511 00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,860 Any work involved, you can do. 512 00:21:59,943 --> 00:22:01,319 I mean, we run everything else 513 00:22:01,403 --> 00:22:03,488 we're involved in, why not Mooseport? 514 00:22:03,572 --> 00:22:04,740 Well, sir, actually... 515 00:22:04,823 --> 00:22:06,366 As your first move out of office, 516 00:22:06,450 --> 00:22:08,285 you... become mayor? 517 00:22:08,368 --> 00:22:10,203 It's, uh, beneath you. 518 00:22:10,287 --> 00:22:12,164 And from a PR standpoint it's... 519 00:22:12,247 --> 00:22:13,540 Fantastic. 520 00:22:14,916 --> 00:22:16,918 "For the love of public service, Eagle Cole, 521 00:22:17,002 --> 00:22:19,171 "the most beloved president since Jack Kennedy, 522 00:22:19,254 --> 00:22:22,090 "agrees to help." Perfect. 523 00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:23,508 And don't forget the Wicked Witch 524 00:22:23,592 --> 00:22:24,718 of the West Wing. 525 00:22:24,801 --> 00:22:26,070 She can't claim this is a vacation house 526 00:22:26,094 --> 00:22:27,471 if I'm the mayor, now can she? 527 00:22:27,554 --> 00:22:29,056 True. 528 00:22:29,139 --> 00:22:31,099 Wait until the filing deadline and then, uh, 529 00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:32,434 call them with the good news. 530 00:22:32,517 --> 00:22:34,561 Yes, sir. 531 00:22:34,644 --> 00:22:37,898 We're... going to run "Turdport." 532 00:22:52,871 --> 00:22:54,581 Thank you, thank you very much, gentlemen. 533 00:22:54,664 --> 00:22:56,458 I won't let Mooseport down. 534 00:22:56,541 --> 00:22:58,460 You have the Eagle's word, okay? 535 00:22:58,543 --> 00:23:00,462 Oh, thank you, Mr. President. 536 00:23:00,545 --> 00:23:01,545 Good-bye, now. 537 00:23:01,588 --> 00:23:02,589 Bye. 538 00:23:02,672 --> 00:23:03,672 It was my idea! 539 00:23:03,715 --> 00:23:04,716 Congratulations, Kent. 540 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:05,860 Congratulations, Stu. Oh, Morris. 541 00:23:05,884 --> 00:23:07,803 You might want to read this. 542 00:23:10,305 --> 00:23:12,015 Holy crap! 543 00:23:12,808 --> 00:23:13,808 Thank you so much 544 00:23:13,850 --> 00:23:15,102 for meeting with us again, sir. 545 00:23:15,185 --> 00:23:16,353 When we talked last night, 546 00:23:16,436 --> 00:23:18,563 uh, nobody else had put in for mayor. 547 00:23:18,647 --> 00:23:20,607 Well, unbeknownst to us, Irma Brisker, 548 00:23:20,690 --> 00:23:23,401 our town registrar, took it upon herself 549 00:23:23,485 --> 00:23:25,403 to persuade Harold Harrison... 550 00:23:25,487 --> 00:23:27,239 You may know him as Handy Harrison, sir. 551 00:23:27,322 --> 00:23:28,490 He runs the hardware store. 552 00:23:28,573 --> 00:23:30,653 Doing some construction work on your home, I believe. 553 00:23:30,700 --> 00:23:32,452 Uh, to run for mayor as well. 554 00:23:32,536 --> 00:23:33,578 Well, okay then. 555 00:23:33,662 --> 00:23:34,788 You've got your mayor. 556 00:23:34,871 --> 00:23:36,289 If he wants it, he can have it. 557 00:23:36,373 --> 00:23:37,374 Uh, Mr. President, sir, 558 00:23:37,457 --> 00:23:39,042 it's a touch more complicated than that. 559 00:23:39,126 --> 00:23:40,168 What's complicated? 560 00:23:40,252 --> 00:23:41,336 Well, it's just that... 561 00:23:41,419 --> 00:23:42,754 You see, sir, it kind of 562 00:23:42,838 --> 00:23:44,714 got out in the press that you're both in. 563 00:23:45,173 --> 00:23:46,174 What press? 564 00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:47,300 Well... 565 00:23:47,384 --> 00:23:48,510 When the deadline passed, 566 00:23:48,593 --> 00:23:50,446 we called, uh, Hunt Langley down at The Moose Call. 567 00:23:50,470 --> 00:23:53,431 He said when this got around, it would be national news. 568 00:23:53,515 --> 00:23:55,225 Well, of course it'll be national news. 569 00:23:55,308 --> 00:23:57,185 Press will say I'm trying to squash a bug. 570 00:23:57,269 --> 00:23:58,520 You can rest assured, sir, 571 00:23:58,603 --> 00:24:01,481 that not one of them said anything like that. Did they, Stu? 572 00:24:01,565 --> 00:24:02,899 No, sir. None of them said that. 573 00:24:02,983 --> 00:24:04,663 Couple of them called it David and Goliath, 574 00:24:04,734 --> 00:24:05,944 but none of them said that. 575 00:24:06,027 --> 00:24:07,654 What do you mean "them"? Who's them? 576 00:24:07,737 --> 00:24:08,947 NBC. CBS. 577 00:24:09,030 --> 00:24:10,866 FOX. It was really exciting. 578 00:24:12,159 --> 00:24:14,202 Wait, are you telling me the entire country 579 00:24:14,286 --> 00:24:15,662 thinks that I'm running for mayor 580 00:24:15,745 --> 00:24:18,748 against the man installing my toilets? 581 00:24:18,832 --> 00:24:21,459 But, sir, you said "Eagle's word." 582 00:24:21,543 --> 00:24:23,003 Aw, hell! 583 00:24:27,549 --> 00:24:29,467 Stop eating the fertilizer. 584 00:24:29,551 --> 00:24:30,552 Go on over there. 585 00:24:30,635 --> 00:24:31,761 Look, it's the president! 586 00:24:31,845 --> 00:24:32,762 He's here! 587 00:24:32,846 --> 00:24:34,514 Which car is he in? Oh, yeah, he's here. 588 00:24:35,765 --> 00:24:38,643 Company's coming, and Bruce is out again. 589 00:24:38,727 --> 00:24:39,727 What is this? 590 00:24:39,769 --> 00:24:41,354 Uh, that's Bruce the Moose, sir. 591 00:24:41,438 --> 00:24:44,191 It's a rescued animal. Handy's pet. 592 00:24:44,274 --> 00:24:45,775 Shouldn't it be in a zoo? 593 00:24:51,781 --> 00:24:54,034 Afternoon, Mr. President. Oh, hello, Handy. 594 00:24:54,117 --> 00:24:55,136 Can we help you with anything? 595 00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:56,512 Is everything okay with that water heater? 596 00:24:56,536 --> 00:24:58,598 Everything is fine. I just wondered if you had a minute. 597 00:24:58,622 --> 00:24:59,622 Hey, I'm Bob. 598 00:24:59,664 --> 00:25:00,707 I'm working for you, too. 599 00:25:00,790 --> 00:25:01,875 Bob, nice to see you. 600 00:25:01,958 --> 00:25:04,461 I'm sorry, Mr. President. Bob, Martha and Irma. 601 00:25:04,544 --> 00:25:05,587 Mr. President. Martha. 602 00:25:05,670 --> 00:25:06,671 Irma. Paint. 603 00:25:06,755 --> 00:25:08,465 Pipes. Wood products. 604 00:25:08,548 --> 00:25:10,675 Like your last two Cabinet appointments. 605 00:25:11,968 --> 00:25:13,762 Handy, aren't you gonna introduce me? 606 00:25:13,845 --> 00:25:15,430 Oh, uh, sorry. This is Mandy. 607 00:25:15,513 --> 00:25:16,431 Hi. 608 00:25:16,514 --> 00:25:19,059 Mandy and Handy, uh... how cute. 609 00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:22,187 Uh, could we speak privately for a moment? 610 00:25:22,270 --> 00:25:24,272 Yeah, sure. What... 611 00:25:24,356 --> 00:25:25,676 That's my office right over there. 612 00:25:25,732 --> 00:25:26,900 Outstanding. 613 00:25:30,153 --> 00:25:31,153 Excuse me. 614 00:25:31,196 --> 00:25:33,657 I have a private meeting with the president. 615 00:25:41,831 --> 00:25:43,625 Iguana on your left, sir. 616 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:50,632 Ooh, what a dump. 617 00:25:50,715 --> 00:25:51,800 Well, sir, 618 00:25:52,217 --> 00:25:53,301 this is it. 619 00:25:53,385 --> 00:25:55,387 Yeah. Oh, it's cozy. Nice office. Yeah. 620 00:25:55,470 --> 00:25:56,346 Thank you. 621 00:25:56,429 --> 00:25:57,573 How can I help you, Mr. President? 622 00:25:57,597 --> 00:25:59,266 Well, Handy, as I'm sure you know, 623 00:25:59,349 --> 00:26:01,810 we've both put in for mayor. No, I didn't know that, sir. 624 00:26:01,893 --> 00:26:03,788 You didn't know that? I mean, I knew that I put in. 625 00:26:03,812 --> 00:26:06,856 I thought I was just doing the town a favor, that's all. 626 00:26:06,940 --> 00:26:08,626 And then, you know, I thought I was running all by myself. 627 00:26:08,650 --> 00:26:10,944 Well, as you can see, we have a bit of a situation. 628 00:26:11,027 --> 00:26:14,030 Yeah, I... It's... Hmm. We got a bit of a pickle here. 629 00:26:14,114 --> 00:26:15,615 Bit of a pickle, exactly. 630 00:26:15,699 --> 00:26:17,701 So I was thinking that one of us should withdraw. 631 00:26:17,784 --> 00:26:20,120 Now, I would be happy if it were me. 632 00:26:20,203 --> 00:26:22,080 Lord knows I have nothing left to prove, 633 00:26:22,163 --> 00:26:24,624 much less being the mayor of anything, 634 00:26:24,708 --> 00:26:26,876 but, uh, I have a PR problem. 635 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:29,671 Oh, oh. A PR prob... Is it serious? 636 00:26:29,754 --> 00:26:31,673 Well, it got out to the press 637 00:26:31,756 --> 00:26:33,174 that I had given my word. 638 00:26:33,258 --> 00:26:34,342 Oh, yeah, right. 639 00:26:34,426 --> 00:26:37,304 You know, "You have the Eagle's word." 640 00:26:37,387 --> 00:26:38,847 Right, like on TV. Mm-hmm. 641 00:26:38,930 --> 00:26:40,515 TV. Exactly. 642 00:26:40,598 --> 00:26:44,060 So, um, well, look, uh, 643 00:26:44,144 --> 00:26:45,395 you're a golfer, right? 644 00:26:45,478 --> 00:26:46,980 Are you any good? 645 00:26:47,063 --> 00:26:48,315 I get around. I get around. 646 00:26:48,398 --> 00:26:50,198 I'm like a ten handicap, maybe, on a good day. 647 00:26:50,233 --> 00:26:52,444 Ten? Me, too. We should knock it around sometime. 648 00:26:52,527 --> 00:26:54,247 Yeah, that would be an honor, Mr. President. 649 00:26:54,279 --> 00:26:57,741 Well, if you're trying to make a name for yourself in golf, 650 00:26:57,824 --> 00:26:59,868 you wouldn't, uh, start off by... 651 00:27:01,077 --> 00:27:03,413 Oh. Nice shot. 652 00:27:03,496 --> 00:27:04,956 Challenging Tiger Woods. 653 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:06,249 No, you'd start small. 654 00:27:06,333 --> 00:27:07,500 Local tournaments. 655 00:27:07,584 --> 00:27:08,877 Uh, same in politics. 656 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:11,504 You don't start a political career by running against 657 00:27:11,588 --> 00:27:13,840 the former president of the United States. 658 00:27:13,923 --> 00:27:15,008 Fine. 659 00:27:15,467 --> 00:27:16,467 Fine? 660 00:27:16,509 --> 00:27:18,219 It was a privilege to run. 661 00:27:18,303 --> 00:27:20,221 It's a privilege to withdraw. 662 00:27:22,349 --> 00:27:24,142 Well, it's settled. What's settled? 663 00:27:24,225 --> 00:27:28,563 It turns out we both put in for mayor, so I just withdrew. Chicken. 664 00:27:28,646 --> 00:27:30,416 I'm glad I could help with that PR problem, sir. 665 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:33,943 Bruce is out of his pen again. Did anybody happen to notice that? 666 00:27:34,027 --> 00:27:35,862 No, he probably chewed through the rope. 667 00:27:35,945 --> 00:27:37,089 Bob, why don't you put him back. 668 00:27:37,113 --> 00:27:38,448 I already did it. 669 00:27:39,741 --> 00:27:41,117 Excuse me, I'm sorry. 670 00:27:41,201 --> 00:27:43,203 Sally, the president. 671 00:27:43,286 --> 00:27:44,371 We just had a meeting. 672 00:27:44,454 --> 00:27:46,307 Yeah, we met last night, when I was being stood up. 673 00:27:46,331 --> 00:27:48,541 Um, look. 674 00:27:48,625 --> 00:27:49,865 I'm sorry if I was rude to you. 675 00:27:49,918 --> 00:27:51,544 I-I'm... I'm really embarrassed. 676 00:27:51,628 --> 00:27:53,338 Rude? Don't be silly. No. 677 00:27:53,421 --> 00:27:56,591 In fact, what you said helped convince me to be mayor. 678 00:27:56,674 --> 00:27:57,674 Really? 679 00:27:57,717 --> 00:27:59,094 So you're going to do it? 680 00:27:59,177 --> 00:28:00,637 You're going to be our mayor. Great. 681 00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:01,846 It is, isn't it? 682 00:28:01,930 --> 00:28:03,473 I'm so glad I ran into you. 683 00:28:03,556 --> 00:28:05,517 You know, I've decided to get a dog. 684 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:07,644 Oh, I thought you already had a dog. 685 00:28:07,727 --> 00:28:08,853 Well, yes, I do. 686 00:28:08,937 --> 00:28:10,438 A great animal. A, uh, Shitzu. 687 00:28:10,522 --> 00:28:11,398 Westie. 688 00:28:11,481 --> 00:28:13,191 Uh, Westie needs a friend, 689 00:28:13,274 --> 00:28:14,943 and I thought if you were available, 690 00:28:15,026 --> 00:28:17,570 uh, let's say, oh, tomorrow night, 691 00:28:17,654 --> 00:28:19,280 perhaps, uh, we could discuss it 692 00:28:19,364 --> 00:28:20,448 over, uh, dinner. 693 00:28:20,532 --> 00:28:21,574 Dinner? 694 00:28:23,243 --> 00:28:24,536 Yeah. I could really use 695 00:28:24,619 --> 00:28:27,372 your, uh, professional advice on this. 696 00:28:27,455 --> 00:28:28,540 Really? My advice? 697 00:28:29,666 --> 00:28:31,626 Uh, okay. Well, yeah. 698 00:28:31,709 --> 00:28:32,961 Dinner would be fine. 699 00:28:33,044 --> 00:28:35,255 Great, looking forward to it. 700 00:28:35,338 --> 00:28:36,941 My people will get in touch with your people. 701 00:28:36,965 --> 00:28:40,718 I don't have people, but I could give you my number. Uh-huh. 702 00:28:40,802 --> 00:28:42,887 Uh, well, my people will get your number 703 00:28:42,971 --> 00:28:45,140 and, uh, we'll set up a time. 704 00:28:45,223 --> 00:28:49,227 And I'm sure whatever time we do set, you'll be on time. 705 00:28:49,310 --> 00:28:50,728 Absolutely. 706 00:28:50,812 --> 00:28:52,147 Looking forward to it. 707 00:28:54,357 --> 00:28:56,359 See you on the links, sir. 708 00:28:56,443 --> 00:28:57,944 And thanks again for being so helpful. 709 00:28:58,027 --> 00:28:59,279 Yeah, right. 710 00:29:01,614 --> 00:29:03,241 You mean rolling over. 711 00:29:10,415 --> 00:29:11,332 Sally... 712 00:29:11,416 --> 00:29:12,542 You know, Bruce is a baby. 713 00:29:12,625 --> 00:29:14,878 Babies like to chew things like rope. 714 00:29:17,589 --> 00:29:19,215 Um... 715 00:29:19,299 --> 00:29:20,341 Ooh-ooh. 716 00:29:20,425 --> 00:29:21,468 Okay. 717 00:29:26,473 --> 00:29:27,682 Sally... 718 00:29:27,765 --> 00:29:29,726 uh, is it me, or did you 719 00:29:29,809 --> 00:29:34,022 just get asked out by that president guy? 720 00:29:34,856 --> 00:29:35,982 Yes, I think I did. 721 00:29:36,065 --> 00:29:38,776 Probably couldn't chew through this, right? 722 00:29:38,860 --> 00:29:41,654 And-And is it me, or did you just say 723 00:29:41,738 --> 00:29:43,865 yes to the president guy? 724 00:29:45,366 --> 00:29:46,618 Yes, I think I did. 725 00:29:48,495 --> 00:29:49,579 Look-Look, Sally. 726 00:29:49,662 --> 00:29:50,931 I'm sorry that I was late, okay, 727 00:29:50,955 --> 00:29:53,124 but you can't date the president because of that. 728 00:29:53,208 --> 00:29:55,126 Do you really think that's the reason? 729 00:29:55,210 --> 00:29:56,794 Why, then? 730 00:29:57,629 --> 00:29:58,796 Why not? 731 00:30:00,465 --> 00:30:02,050 Here, use this. 732 00:30:09,390 --> 00:30:10,850 Shut up! 733 00:30:12,644 --> 00:30:14,020 Sally, I want to talk to you! 734 00:30:14,103 --> 00:30:15,730 Sally, I want to talk! 735 00:30:17,774 --> 00:30:19,526 It was very nice of you. 736 00:30:19,609 --> 00:30:21,903 Say "bye-bye," honey. 737 00:30:22,946 --> 00:30:24,322 Mr. President! 738 00:30:25,448 --> 00:30:26,824 Yes, Handy, what is it? 739 00:30:28,785 --> 00:30:29,953 Mr. President! 740 00:30:30,036 --> 00:30:31,412 Thank you very much. 741 00:30:38,628 --> 00:30:39,879 I can't do it, sir. 742 00:30:39,963 --> 00:30:41,714 I can't drop out of the mayor race. 743 00:30:42,924 --> 00:30:43,924 Excuse me? 744 00:30:43,967 --> 00:30:46,261 I... I don't have the Eagle thing like you, 745 00:30:46,344 --> 00:30:48,221 but I'm a man of my word, too. 746 00:30:48,304 --> 00:30:52,016 And every man's word's important, isn't that true? 747 00:30:52,100 --> 00:30:54,102 Does he want money? What-What-What is it? 748 00:30:54,185 --> 00:30:55,270 If you stay in this race, 749 00:30:55,353 --> 00:30:59,107 then I'm sure you're going to slaughter me, but... 750 00:30:59,190 --> 00:31:02,819 I'm running for the mayor of Mooseport. 751 00:31:08,408 --> 00:31:09,867 Is he losing his mind? 752 00:31:19,711 --> 00:31:21,004 What just happened? 753 00:31:21,087 --> 00:31:23,214 You're running against the president. 754 00:31:23,298 --> 00:31:25,174 And your girlfriend's dating him. 755 00:31:27,552 --> 00:31:29,429 I repeat, "Mm-hmm." 756 00:31:31,723 --> 00:31:33,808 No, Larry, the president has no comment. 757 00:31:33,891 --> 00:31:36,311 No, no comment. Thank you. 758 00:31:36,394 --> 00:31:39,647 Uh, that's all the networks, 60 Minutes, and Larry King. 759 00:31:39,731 --> 00:31:41,065 The handyman's girlfriend? 760 00:31:41,149 --> 00:31:43,192 His girlfriend? Why didn't you tell me? 761 00:31:43,276 --> 00:31:44,527 I'm gonna look like an idiot. 762 00:31:44,611 --> 00:31:45,612 I tried to tell you, 763 00:31:45,695 --> 00:31:46,695 Mr. President, remember? 764 00:31:46,738 --> 00:31:48,239 Well, why didn't you try harder? 765 00:31:48,323 --> 00:31:50,783 What am I supposed to do now, apologize? 766 00:31:50,867 --> 00:31:52,493 Back down? 767 00:31:52,577 --> 00:31:53,995 You want call Bert Langdon? 768 00:31:54,078 --> 00:31:55,163 For what? 769 00:31:55,246 --> 00:31:56,682 I don't need a campaign manager for this. 770 00:31:56,706 --> 00:31:58,791 Hello... 771 00:31:59,751 --> 00:32:01,669 One second. Mr. President? 772 00:32:01,753 --> 00:32:03,588 Bert Langdon on line one. 773 00:32:06,841 --> 00:32:09,177 Bert, what a coincidence. What's shaking? 774 00:32:09,260 --> 00:32:12,180 That's what I was gonna ask you, Eagle. 775 00:32:12,263 --> 00:32:13,931 It's deader than Nixon down here. 776 00:32:14,015 --> 00:32:15,767 I'd be happy to roll up my sleeves 777 00:32:15,850 --> 00:32:17,268 and come up there if you want. 778 00:32:17,352 --> 00:32:18,853 Bert, I'm running against my plumber. 779 00:32:18,936 --> 00:32:20,271 Is there something I don't know? 780 00:32:20,355 --> 00:32:21,981 You watching FOX News? 781 00:32:23,483 --> 00:32:25,318 The results are quite interesting. 782 00:32:25,401 --> 00:32:26,986 The poll, of course, is preliminary, 783 00:32:27,070 --> 00:32:30,239 but it does show Harrison with surprising strength. 784 00:32:30,323 --> 00:32:33,284 There's an 8% margin of error, and it's still early, 785 00:32:33,368 --> 00:32:36,037 but it looks to be very close. 786 00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:37,330 Seems to me the president 787 00:32:37,413 --> 00:32:39,707 has got himself in a bit of a horse race. 788 00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:41,376 Eagle, you with me? 789 00:32:41,459 --> 00:32:43,878 Don't you mean "moose race"? 790 00:32:43,961 --> 00:32:45,213 Eagle! 791 00:32:45,296 --> 00:32:46,673 Hey! 792 00:32:47,215 --> 00:32:48,383 Oh-ho! 793 00:32:48,466 --> 00:32:50,343 There she is. Come on, let's go. 794 00:32:50,426 --> 00:32:51,636 That's her, right there. 795 00:32:51,719 --> 00:32:53,054 Sally! Miss Mannis? 796 00:32:53,137 --> 00:32:54,555 Are you Dr. Sally Mannis? Yeah. 797 00:32:54,639 --> 00:32:56,557 A couple questions about Handy Harrison. 798 00:32:56,641 --> 00:32:59,018 Hey! Watch it! 799 00:32:59,102 --> 00:33:00,603 And now you're dating the president? 800 00:33:00,687 --> 00:33:01,687 No. 801 00:33:01,729 --> 00:33:03,356 No, I'm not dating the president. 802 00:33:03,439 --> 00:33:04,649 It's one date. 803 00:33:04,732 --> 00:33:06,609 I'm not even sure you'd call it a date. 804 00:33:06,693 --> 00:33:07,819 You wouldn't call it a date? 805 00:33:07,902 --> 00:33:09,088 What would you call it, exactly? 806 00:33:09,112 --> 00:33:10,172 Just a couple more questions. 807 00:33:10,196 --> 00:33:11,197 When did you meet? 808 00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:12,657 When did he ask you out? 809 00:33:12,740 --> 00:33:14,176 Have you and the president had sex yet? 810 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:15,368 For God's sakes. 811 00:33:20,790 --> 00:33:22,208 Think about it, Handy. 812 00:33:22,291 --> 00:33:23,793 For our mayor, we could have 813 00:33:23,876 --> 00:33:26,087 the president of the United States. 814 00:33:26,170 --> 00:33:27,463 What are you trying to do to us? 815 00:33:27,547 --> 00:33:29,191 Come on, guys, look. You know he's gonna win. 816 00:33:29,215 --> 00:33:31,008 Drop out, you bastard! 817 00:33:31,092 --> 00:33:32,301 Come on. Thank you, Reuben. 818 00:33:32,385 --> 00:33:33,636 And you better keep an eye 819 00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:34,929 on your speedometer, Harrison. 820 00:33:35,012 --> 00:33:36,389 Handy! Handy! 821 00:33:36,472 --> 00:33:37,598 Hi, Daddy. 822 00:33:37,682 --> 00:33:40,476 What's this? Come on. Aw, what's going on? 823 00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,438 What's it look like? You're campaigning. 824 00:33:43,521 --> 00:33:44,897 Handy! Handy! 825 00:33:44,981 --> 00:33:46,858 Hey, guys. Come on. 826 00:33:46,941 --> 00:33:47,942 Hey, Handy. 827 00:33:48,025 --> 00:33:49,402 Do you like it? 828 00:33:49,485 --> 00:33:50,737 That's... yeah. 829 00:33:50,820 --> 00:33:52,780 Uh, all right, guys, thank you very much, 830 00:33:52,864 --> 00:33:55,074 and the moose hat and everything, but, Irma, 831 00:33:55,158 --> 00:33:56,659 we discussed this, 832 00:33:56,743 --> 00:33:59,370 I'm not campaigning. I'm not. 833 00:34:07,044 --> 00:34:07,920 What? 834 00:34:08,004 --> 00:34:09,756 Do you care about Sally or not? 835 00:34:09,839 --> 00:34:10,923 No... 836 00:34:11,007 --> 00:34:13,509 Look, her going out with him is just... 837 00:34:13,593 --> 00:34:15,678 it's a casual... 838 00:34:17,054 --> 00:34:19,891 Call it postmenopausal intuition, 839 00:34:19,974 --> 00:34:21,476 but just my opinion, 840 00:34:21,559 --> 00:34:24,103 lose this election, lose Sally. 841 00:34:25,229 --> 00:34:26,856 It's not gonna go anywhere, okay? 842 00:34:26,939 --> 00:34:28,649 He's, like, 20 years older than me. 843 00:34:28,733 --> 00:34:30,443 He's the president. 844 00:34:30,526 --> 00:34:31,526 So? 845 00:34:31,569 --> 00:34:34,405 Power takes ten years off a man, Handy. 846 00:34:34,489 --> 00:34:36,449 Rich, another ten. 847 00:34:36,532 --> 00:34:40,036 By the time you figure he's in great shape and you're not, 848 00:34:40,119 --> 00:34:42,997 he's younger than you are. Mm-hmm. 849 00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:47,418 So, you want to campaign or not? 850 00:34:51,172 --> 00:34:52,548 "Better shape." 851 00:34:53,883 --> 00:34:56,094 I know I can kick your ass! 852 00:34:56,177 --> 00:34:57,345 Up and running. 853 00:34:57,428 --> 00:34:58,906 So, how do we kick this thing off, Bert? 854 00:34:58,930 --> 00:35:02,642 Top priority, obviously, is to keep him presidential. 855 00:35:02,725 --> 00:35:05,311 Just pound these moose worshipers 856 00:35:05,394 --> 00:35:09,273 with what his unbelievable experience can bring to them. 857 00:35:09,357 --> 00:35:11,692 Look, if they think about it for half a second, 858 00:35:11,776 --> 00:35:15,655 Harrison can't bring even a fraction of what he brings. 859 00:35:15,738 --> 00:35:16,864 Whatever he is. 860 00:35:16,948 --> 00:35:18,366 And what exactly is he? 861 00:35:18,449 --> 00:35:20,159 Preliminary research says 862 00:35:20,243 --> 00:35:22,453 that he is something that 863 00:35:22,537 --> 00:35:25,915 actually we've never faced before, Mr. President. 864 00:35:25,998 --> 00:35:26,998 And that is...? 865 00:35:27,041 --> 00:35:29,627 He's a genuinely honest man, sir. 866 00:35:29,710 --> 00:35:30,920 Oh, come on, Grace. 867 00:35:31,003 --> 00:35:33,840 All that means is, he's never run for public office. 868 00:35:35,883 --> 00:35:37,593 What do you got, Bert? 869 00:35:37,677 --> 00:35:39,720 FBI, CIA, nothing. 870 00:35:40,638 --> 00:35:43,015 But this turned up in the local paper. 871 00:35:43,099 --> 00:35:44,934 And, uh, that's it? 872 00:35:45,017 --> 00:35:46,727 That's it. We're running 873 00:35:46,811 --> 00:35:48,729 against the pie-eating champ. 874 00:35:51,774 --> 00:35:53,234 And think about this: 875 00:35:53,317 --> 00:35:54,569 He runs for mayor, 876 00:35:54,652 --> 00:35:56,237 but only when he thinks he's unopposed. 877 00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:58,865 He dates the same woman for six years, 878 00:35:58,948 --> 00:36:01,284 but he never pops the question. 879 00:36:02,285 --> 00:36:04,287 What's wrong with this picture? 880 00:36:05,121 --> 00:36:06,956 Well, he won't take risks. 881 00:36:07,039 --> 00:36:08,624 He won't make a commitment. 882 00:36:08,708 --> 00:36:10,585 And any man who won't make a commitment 883 00:36:10,668 --> 00:36:12,211 shouldn't be mayor of anything. 884 00:36:12,295 --> 00:36:13,880 That's good. How do we get that out? 885 00:36:13,963 --> 00:36:16,173 Whisper campaign, at first. 886 00:36:16,257 --> 00:36:17,341 Then radio. 887 00:36:17,425 --> 00:36:20,344 And eventually, we'll have to have some TV spots. 888 00:36:20,428 --> 00:36:22,346 Shouldn't get too expensive, but... 889 00:36:22,430 --> 00:36:23,556 Mr. President. 890 00:36:23,639 --> 00:36:25,182 I'm sure you don't want to hear this. 891 00:36:25,266 --> 00:36:28,102 But would the easiest thing be... 892 00:36:28,185 --> 00:36:30,229 Should we discuss a withdrawal? 893 00:36:30,313 --> 00:36:31,731 Withdrawal? 894 00:36:32,231 --> 00:36:33,441 Grace! 895 00:36:33,524 --> 00:36:35,234 He's the Eagle. 896 00:36:35,318 --> 00:36:39,906 Eagle Cole has never run away from anything in his life! 897 00:36:39,989 --> 00:36:41,908 Not to mention what it would do to his finances. 898 00:36:41,991 --> 00:36:43,409 Finances? Yeah, book deals, 899 00:36:43,492 --> 00:36:46,245 corporate boards, library fund-raising. 900 00:36:46,329 --> 00:36:48,247 You quit, or, God help us, lose to a plumber, 901 00:36:48,331 --> 00:36:49,749 we can kiss those deals good-bye 902 00:36:49,832 --> 00:36:51,751 faster than you can say "Roto-Rooter." 903 00:36:51,834 --> 00:36:53,794 Mr. President, this is not about Mooseport. 904 00:36:53,878 --> 00:36:54,879 It's about winning. 905 00:36:54,962 --> 00:36:55,880 It's about spending 906 00:36:55,963 --> 00:36:57,381 three million dollars to protect 20. 907 00:36:57,465 --> 00:37:00,343 Well, maybe I should commit to that speaking tour. 908 00:37:02,678 --> 00:37:03,804 I-I, uh... 909 00:37:03,888 --> 00:37:05,598 I-I had to cancel that, sir. 910 00:37:05,681 --> 00:37:08,100 You... You what? 911 00:37:08,184 --> 00:37:09,685 It-It seemed obvious. 912 00:37:09,769 --> 00:37:11,646 It was right in the middle of the campaign. 913 00:37:11,729 --> 00:37:13,105 That was millions of dollars. 914 00:37:13,189 --> 00:37:16,776 Well, sir, there is still that offer from the Soova Motors people. 915 00:37:16,859 --> 00:37:18,486 Bullard, the ex-president 916 00:37:18,569 --> 00:37:20,130 of the United States cannot do car commercials. 917 00:37:20,154 --> 00:37:22,114 Oh. But have you seen the car, Mr. President? 918 00:37:22,198 --> 00:37:23,199 Look at this. 919 00:37:23,282 --> 00:37:25,868 It's snappy styling, snappy president, and... 920 00:37:25,952 --> 00:37:26,869 Bullard? 921 00:37:26,953 --> 00:37:28,913 Aw, it's smooth handling, leather interior. 922 00:37:28,996 --> 00:37:30,498 Bullard, get out. Get out. 923 00:37:30,581 --> 00:37:32,458 I'll handle the money, Eagle. 924 00:37:32,541 --> 00:37:34,377 Uh, I'm sure that with the library pledges, 925 00:37:34,460 --> 00:37:36,128 something will turn up. 926 00:37:36,212 --> 00:37:38,214 May I stay now, sir? 927 00:37:38,297 --> 00:37:40,132 Go in the corner, out of my eye line. 928 00:37:40,216 --> 00:37:41,592 Thank you, sir. 929 00:37:44,762 --> 00:37:46,055 I can still see you. 930 00:37:46,138 --> 00:37:47,139 Yes, sir. 931 00:37:49,350 --> 00:37:50,434 What about the girl? 932 00:37:50,518 --> 00:37:53,688 What about this Sally-Handy, Sally-Eagle wank-off? 933 00:37:53,771 --> 00:37:55,231 He'll have to cancel the date. 934 00:37:55,314 --> 00:37:57,692 Whoa, whoa. No, he can't cancel the date. 935 00:37:57,775 --> 00:37:59,527 You said it, Bert. 936 00:37:59,610 --> 00:38:01,654 The Eagle doesn't back down. 937 00:38:01,737 --> 00:38:02,965 You clear up what I didn't know 938 00:38:02,989 --> 00:38:05,116 and when I didn't know it, I'll be fine. 939 00:38:05,199 --> 00:38:06,969 Should I draft a press release, Mr. President? 940 00:38:06,993 --> 00:38:07,993 Uh, yeah. 941 00:38:08,035 --> 00:38:11,455 Oh! Oh, no. No. Um... 942 00:38:11,539 --> 00:38:14,500 Call the press, have 'em over here first thing in the morning. 943 00:38:14,583 --> 00:38:17,753 And then get Handy Harrison here to fix the toilet. 944 00:38:17,837 --> 00:38:20,524 You see where I'm going with this, or do I have to draw you a picture? 945 00:38:20,548 --> 00:38:21,924 No, I see it, Mr. President. 946 00:38:22,008 --> 00:38:23,050 I'm on it. 947 00:38:23,134 --> 00:38:24,385 Let's get to work. 948 00:38:28,264 --> 00:38:29,557 Coming in. 949 00:38:30,433 --> 00:38:31,809 Let's go. Let's go. 950 00:38:31,892 --> 00:38:33,227 Move on through. Move on. 951 00:38:33,310 --> 00:38:34,228 Oh, boy. 952 00:38:34,311 --> 00:38:36,105 Uh-huh, looks like an ambush. 953 00:38:37,565 --> 00:38:39,191 Oh, boy. 954 00:38:39,275 --> 00:38:42,528 Handy! Handy, what are your policies about the...? 955 00:38:42,611 --> 00:38:43,946 Handy, how much is...? 956 00:38:45,114 --> 00:38:46,157 Mr. President? 957 00:38:46,240 --> 00:38:47,241 Mr. President? 958 00:38:47,324 --> 00:38:49,160 Folks, I-I need a word with Mr. Harrison. 959 00:38:49,243 --> 00:38:50,327 Good morning, Handy. 960 00:38:50,411 --> 00:38:51,411 Morning, Mr. President. 961 00:38:51,454 --> 00:38:53,039 Uh, you got toilet trouble, right? 962 00:38:53,122 --> 00:38:55,207 Yeah. Handy, um... 963 00:38:55,291 --> 00:38:57,585 I want to make it clear that when I asked Miss Mannis out, 964 00:38:57,668 --> 00:39:00,921 I had no idea that you two had a relationship. 965 00:39:01,005 --> 00:39:02,590 And even though I find it reprehensible 966 00:39:02,673 --> 00:39:04,967 for any man to interfere in an ongoing romance... 967 00:39:05,051 --> 00:39:06,051 Me, too. 968 00:39:06,093 --> 00:39:07,094 Yeah. 969 00:39:07,178 --> 00:39:08,262 I also believe 970 00:39:08,346 --> 00:39:11,307 that a woman's heart is hers and hers alone to give. 971 00:39:12,099 --> 00:39:13,517 Ah. Yeah. 972 00:39:13,601 --> 00:39:14,602 That's a good point. 973 00:39:14,685 --> 00:39:18,022 Mm-hmm. So, I asked Sally out in ignorance, 974 00:39:18,105 --> 00:39:20,399 and, uh, she agreed to go. 975 00:39:20,483 --> 00:39:22,777 And until she tells me to stand down, 976 00:39:23,944 --> 00:39:25,654 I intend to see her. 977 00:39:25,738 --> 00:39:26,822 Fair? 978 00:39:26,906 --> 00:39:28,449 Call him a horndog. 979 00:39:28,532 --> 00:39:30,326 What'd she say? What'd she say? Horndog? 980 00:39:30,409 --> 00:39:32,369 Well, uh... 981 00:39:32,453 --> 00:39:36,916 if it's okay with you, sir, I'd like to chew on that a bit. 982 00:39:38,209 --> 00:39:39,335 Okay. 983 00:39:39,418 --> 00:39:42,046 Okay, you chew on that, and, um... 984 00:39:43,297 --> 00:39:44,777 if you find that you can't swallow it, 985 00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:49,637 you let me know, and I'll give you the Heimlich maneuver, okay? 986 00:39:49,720 --> 00:39:51,920 Pretty good, sir! Come on in here and fix these toilets. 987 00:39:51,972 --> 00:39:55,142 Are we going to see a date, Mr. President? Where are you taking her, sir? 988 00:39:55,226 --> 00:39:56,912 I don't know what you're gonna see, to tell you the truth. 989 00:39:56,936 --> 00:39:59,438 And thank you so much. Thank you. 990 00:39:59,522 --> 00:40:00,791 Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. 991 00:40:00,815 --> 00:40:02,501 I'm in a great mood. Do we have any ice cream? 992 00:40:02,525 --> 00:40:04,610 Absolutely, sir. And I think 993 00:40:04,693 --> 00:40:06,487 we found a way to solve your money problems. 994 00:40:06,570 --> 00:40:07,863 Really? Yes. 995 00:40:16,705 --> 00:40:17,832 Voila. 996 00:40:18,332 --> 00:40:19,333 That's it? 997 00:40:19,416 --> 00:40:20,417 Nothing to it. 998 00:40:20,501 --> 00:40:22,378 You save three million dollars. 999 00:40:22,461 --> 00:40:23,963 And look, still beautiful. 1000 00:40:24,046 --> 00:40:27,758 Excellent. Excellent. Uh, don't even miss it. 1001 00:40:30,427 --> 00:40:32,346 Okay, everybody, let's get back to work. 1002 00:40:32,429 --> 00:40:33,889 Right away, sir. 1003 00:40:35,391 --> 00:40:37,309 Son of a bitch. 1004 00:40:40,229 --> 00:40:41,564 Sally! 1005 00:40:47,111 --> 00:40:48,487 Plunger, you stay off the couch. 1006 00:40:48,571 --> 00:40:50,406 Hello. Hello? 1007 00:40:51,824 --> 00:40:53,492 Hey. Hey, it's me. 1008 00:40:53,576 --> 00:40:55,619 What's up? Uh... 1009 00:40:55,703 --> 00:40:57,305 What are you doing? You wanna go do something? 1010 00:40:57,329 --> 00:40:58,998 Want to see a movie or something? 1011 00:40:59,081 --> 00:41:01,208 You know I have plans tonight. 1012 00:41:01,292 --> 00:41:05,087 I... Oh! That's right. That's right. I forgot. 1013 00:41:05,171 --> 00:41:06,547 Tonight's the night you got, uh... 1014 00:41:06,630 --> 00:41:08,790 you got a date with the President of the United States. 1015 00:41:11,135 --> 00:41:12,344 You see this? 1016 00:41:14,555 --> 00:41:17,892 "Local vet finds romance with past president." 1017 00:41:17,975 --> 00:41:20,102 Ew. Where'd they get that picture? 1018 00:41:20,186 --> 00:41:21,478 Yeah. Well, there it is, 1019 00:41:21,562 --> 00:41:23,981 next to the president, right on the front page. 1020 00:41:24,064 --> 00:41:26,358 So, what about later? I mean, you know, 1021 00:41:26,442 --> 00:41:28,402 he must go to bed at, like, 8:30. Right? 1022 00:41:28,485 --> 00:41:31,197 So, there's supposed to be a meteor shower at 11:00. 1023 00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:32,198 That could be cool. 1024 00:41:32,281 --> 00:41:33,616 It'll have to be another time. 1025 00:41:35,242 --> 00:41:36,928 All right. It's not gonna happen for 240 years. 1026 00:41:36,952 --> 00:41:38,537 But okay, I'll pencil that in. 1027 00:41:38,621 --> 00:41:41,081 Like, uh... You gotta... 1028 00:41:41,165 --> 00:41:42,541 You gotta tighten these. 1029 00:41:43,292 --> 00:41:44,752 Okay, look, if you're doing 1030 00:41:44,835 --> 00:41:46,629 all this to... to get me jealous, 1031 00:41:46,712 --> 00:41:47,796 it's worked, okay? 1032 00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:49,840 So, could you stop it? Huh? Please? 1033 00:41:49,924 --> 00:41:52,468 Could you just cancel the date 1034 00:41:52,551 --> 00:41:53,969 with the president? 1035 00:41:56,639 --> 00:42:00,768 So, that's Wednesday. Then Thursday... 1036 00:42:00,851 --> 00:42:02,436 Come in, come in, come in. 1037 00:42:02,519 --> 00:42:03,729 Thank you, sir. 1038 00:42:03,812 --> 00:42:05,189 Uh, Thursday I thought 1039 00:42:05,272 --> 00:42:07,858 that you could interview some of the ghostwriters. 1040 00:42:07,942 --> 00:42:09,610 Aw, great, great, great, great. 1041 00:42:09,693 --> 00:42:10,903 Where are you taking her? 1042 00:42:10,986 --> 00:42:12,529 The Pig and the Whistle. 1043 00:42:12,613 --> 00:42:14,698 The only steak house in town. 1044 00:42:14,782 --> 00:42:17,159 Supposed to be quiet, intimate. 1045 00:42:17,243 --> 00:42:18,160 Do you know it? 1046 00:42:18,244 --> 00:42:20,246 It's Pig 'n' Whistle. No. 1047 00:42:20,329 --> 00:42:21,497 What do I eat? 1048 00:42:21,580 --> 00:42:23,040 I mean, what do I talk about? 1049 00:42:23,123 --> 00:42:25,584 Do I have anything in common with this girl? 1050 00:42:25,668 --> 00:42:26,961 She's a veterinarian. 1051 00:42:27,044 --> 00:42:29,797 Why don't you talk about mad cow disease? 1052 00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:31,840 Don't, by the way, order meat. 1053 00:42:31,924 --> 00:42:32,925 Why not? 1054 00:42:33,008 --> 00:42:34,009 It's just a guess, 1055 00:42:34,093 --> 00:42:36,136 but she might not appreciate your wolfing down 1056 00:42:36,220 --> 00:42:38,722 the animal she spent all day trying to save. 1057 00:42:40,224 --> 00:42:41,600 Good point. 1058 00:42:42,851 --> 00:42:44,478 Come on. Wh... 1059 00:42:44,561 --> 00:42:45,813 What-What? Do you... 1060 00:42:45,896 --> 00:42:47,523 Do you really actually like this guy? 1061 00:42:47,606 --> 00:42:49,900 He wants to talk to me about dogs. 1062 00:42:49,984 --> 00:42:51,402 So, why you all dressed up, then? 1063 00:42:51,485 --> 00:42:53,779 Because he's the president. 1064 00:42:53,862 --> 00:42:57,908 Well, then why you wearing black underwear? 1065 00:43:03,539 --> 00:43:05,582 Were you looking up my dress? 1066 00:43:08,752 --> 00:43:09,878 Yeah, I was. 1067 00:43:12,131 --> 00:43:14,008 Oh, get over yourself. I hardly touched you. 1068 00:43:14,091 --> 00:43:15,402 How many times do I gotta tell you 1069 00:43:15,426 --> 00:43:16,426 how strong you are? 1070 00:43:16,468 --> 00:43:20,389 You knuckled my bone. 1071 00:43:20,472 --> 00:43:23,350 Listen, explain to me the underwear choice, all right? 1072 00:43:23,434 --> 00:43:25,328 Because if you're not attracted... I don't believe this. 1073 00:43:25,352 --> 00:43:28,480 What difference does it make what color my underwear is? 1074 00:43:28,564 --> 00:43:31,608 It's an unconscious indicator 1075 00:43:31,692 --> 00:43:34,278 of your subconscious intentions. 1076 00:43:34,361 --> 00:43:37,281 Okay. Um... 1077 00:43:38,949 --> 00:43:40,617 How you feel about the pink? 1078 00:43:41,201 --> 00:43:42,369 No. No. 1079 00:43:42,453 --> 00:43:43,829 Um, how about these? 1080 00:43:43,912 --> 00:43:45,164 No. No? 1081 00:43:45,247 --> 00:43:46,498 Uh... these? 1082 00:43:46,582 --> 00:43:48,542 All right. Or do you like 1083 00:43:48,625 --> 00:43:49,710 any of these? I don't. 1084 00:43:49,793 --> 00:43:50,937 We're going to Sears tomorrow. Or these? 1085 00:43:50,961 --> 00:43:52,001 I'm telling you right now. 1086 00:43:52,046 --> 00:43:54,048 Oh! Remember these? 1087 00:43:54,131 --> 00:43:56,508 Yeah. That we're locking up, okay? 1088 00:43:57,176 --> 00:43:58,761 Or you know what? 1089 00:43:58,844 --> 00:44:00,429 I could always go with none at all. 1090 00:44:00,512 --> 00:44:02,556 I wonder what that would indicate. 1091 00:44:03,682 --> 00:44:04,600 Sally. 1092 00:44:04,683 --> 00:44:06,727 Sally! Put some pants on! 1093 00:44:09,229 --> 00:44:11,482 Hello. Handy's Hardware. 1094 00:44:11,565 --> 00:44:13,317 Hello, Pig 'n' Whistle. 1095 00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:15,027 No, this is Handy's Hardware. 1096 00:44:15,110 --> 00:44:18,155 Good. I'd like to confirm a reservation, please. 1097 00:44:18,238 --> 00:44:19,948 Uh, you have the wrong number. 1098 00:44:20,032 --> 00:44:21,033 Yes, I know. 1099 00:44:21,116 --> 00:44:23,369 For President Monroe Cole. 1100 00:44:23,452 --> 00:44:25,371 Strictly confidential, of course. 1101 00:44:25,454 --> 00:44:26,705 Confidential? 1102 00:44:26,789 --> 00:44:29,541 Eight o' clock. For two, yes? 1103 00:44:29,625 --> 00:44:31,835 Well, I'll be buggered by a bear. 1104 00:44:31,919 --> 00:44:33,087 Uh, yes, you will. 1105 00:44:33,170 --> 00:44:34,546 Look forward to seeing you there. 1106 00:44:38,550 --> 00:44:39,718 This feels wrong. 1107 00:44:39,802 --> 00:44:40,928 And pushy. 1108 00:44:41,011 --> 00:44:43,430 And him making her his booty poodle isn't? 1109 00:44:43,514 --> 00:44:46,809 Oh. You have to stop saying that. Please. 1110 00:44:48,519 --> 00:44:49,770 Thank you. 1111 00:44:49,853 --> 00:44:50,896 To new friends. 1112 00:44:52,314 --> 00:44:54,000 - Lots of them. - Right here, Mr. President. 1113 00:44:54,024 --> 00:44:55,734 This way, Mr. President. 1114 00:44:55,818 --> 00:44:57,194 Sorry about the gaggle. 1115 00:44:57,277 --> 00:44:59,613 I just can't believe they hound you like this. 1116 00:44:59,696 --> 00:45:01,031 Ah, you get used to it. 1117 00:45:01,115 --> 00:45:02,634 They're kind of like pigeons, you know? 1118 00:45:02,658 --> 00:45:05,077 You throw them a crumb once in a while and... 1119 00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:06,160 Hello! 1120 00:45:06,203 --> 00:45:07,496 Thank you, sir. 1121 00:45:07,579 --> 00:45:08,956 Hi, Mom. 1122 00:45:09,039 --> 00:45:10,457 Out with the president. 1123 00:45:15,045 --> 00:45:16,505 Aw, that's great. 1124 00:45:16,588 --> 00:45:17,881 Are we ready yet? 1125 00:45:19,091 --> 00:45:20,134 I hope you're hungry. 1126 00:45:20,217 --> 00:45:22,136 Uh, I could eat a horse... radish! 1127 00:45:23,387 --> 00:45:24,805 Horseradish. 1128 00:45:24,888 --> 00:45:27,141 Sally? Uh, I'm... I'm not sure yet. 1129 00:45:27,224 --> 00:45:29,059 You go first, Mr. President. 1130 00:45:29,143 --> 00:45:31,186 Monroe, please. 1131 00:45:31,270 --> 00:45:32,896 Monroe. 1132 00:45:32,980 --> 00:45:34,499 Let's see. So much to choose from here. 1133 00:45:34,523 --> 00:45:37,985 Um... I'll have the baked potato. 1134 00:45:38,068 --> 00:45:39,111 Mmm. All right. 1135 00:45:39,194 --> 00:45:42,322 Sour cream and butter and Baco Bits. Vegetarian! 1136 00:45:43,490 --> 00:45:44,616 Baco Bits. 1137 00:45:44,700 --> 00:45:48,745 Uh, I'll have the endive salad and a T-bone. 1138 00:45:50,414 --> 00:45:51,957 Sometimes you just want a steak, right? 1139 00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:53,250 Yeah. 1140 00:45:54,418 --> 00:45:55,461 No turning back. 1141 00:45:55,544 --> 00:45:56,628 Get in there. Just go... 1142 00:45:56,712 --> 00:45:57,897 Hey, hey, Harrison, hold on a minute. 1143 00:45:57,921 --> 00:45:58,839 What's wrong? 1144 00:45:58,922 --> 00:46:00,082 - Ma'am? - Why can't we go in? 1145 00:46:00,132 --> 00:46:01,842 All right. Okay. 1146 00:46:01,925 --> 00:46:02,843 Go. Go on. 1147 00:46:02,926 --> 00:46:03,969 Okay. All right. 1148 00:46:04,052 --> 00:46:05,095 What's going on? 1149 00:46:05,721 --> 00:46:06,722 Hi. 1150 00:46:06,805 --> 00:46:08,015 Uh... sorry. 1151 00:46:08,098 --> 00:46:10,517 Everybody, sorry to interrupt. I was just... 1152 00:46:10,601 --> 00:46:11,685 I wanna let everybody know 1153 00:46:11,768 --> 00:46:13,437 that I'm gonna be running for mayor, 1154 00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:16,231 and I'd appreciate your votes. 1155 00:46:16,315 --> 00:46:17,858 So I'll just hand these out, 1156 00:46:17,941 --> 00:46:19,377 and I'll get out of your way. Here you go. 1157 00:46:19,401 --> 00:46:20,819 I'm voting for the president. 1158 00:46:21,612 --> 00:46:23,155 Hi. Well, good evening, folks. 1159 00:46:23,238 --> 00:46:24,340 It's a nice night, isn't it? 1160 00:46:24,364 --> 00:46:25,407 Handy for mayor. 1161 00:46:25,491 --> 00:46:27,743 Yeah. Running for mayor. Hey. Huh, you got yours? 1162 00:46:27,826 --> 00:46:28,827 Hi. Hi, Shelly. Hi. 1163 00:46:28,911 --> 00:46:30,496 Handy for mayor. Appreciate it, Irma. 1164 00:46:30,579 --> 00:46:32,765 Hey. Just wanna remind people that I'm running for mayor. 1165 00:46:32,789 --> 00:46:34,833 Yeah, we heard you before. 1166 00:46:34,917 --> 00:46:36,936 You know, instead of interrupting everybody's dinner, 1167 00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:38,462 why don't you two have a debate? 1168 00:46:38,545 --> 00:46:40,380 - Debate? - Yeah! 1169 00:46:40,464 --> 00:46:41,464 Have a debate. 1170 00:46:41,507 --> 00:46:42,817 No, we're not gonna have a debate. 1171 00:46:42,841 --> 00:46:44,527 I'm not gonna bother the president with that. 1172 00:46:44,551 --> 00:46:47,387 Oh, no, no, a debate's fine by me. 1173 00:46:47,471 --> 00:46:48,972 Hey, you see? Yeah! 1174 00:46:49,056 --> 00:46:50,056 Now? 1175 00:46:50,098 --> 00:46:52,476 Well, now is not the time or place, Handy. 1176 00:46:52,559 --> 00:46:56,021 But, uh, let's say, uh, the town hall, 1177 00:46:56,104 --> 00:46:58,106 Tuesday night. That's a great idea. 1178 00:46:58,190 --> 00:46:59,107 All right, well, 1179 00:46:59,191 --> 00:47:01,276 I'll think about it. Of course he will. 1180 00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:03,445 It'll be fun! Tuesday, town hall. Great! 1181 00:47:03,529 --> 00:47:05,948 Okay. All right. You're on. 1182 00:47:06,031 --> 00:47:07,241 Okay, why don't we let 1183 00:47:07,324 --> 00:47:09,576 everybody get back to their dinner? 1184 00:47:10,369 --> 00:47:11,245 All right. 1185 00:47:11,328 --> 00:47:12,568 I'll... I'm gonna go in the bar. 1186 00:47:12,621 --> 00:47:13,765 You know, maybe there's people 1187 00:47:13,789 --> 00:47:15,183 that are drunk enough to vote for me in there. 1188 00:47:15,207 --> 00:47:16,625 This is terrific. 1189 00:47:17,084 --> 00:47:18,293 Good idea. 1190 00:47:21,838 --> 00:47:23,024 What are you mentioning a debate? I'm not gonna... 1191 00:47:23,048 --> 00:47:24,508 That's all right. You'll be fine. 1192 00:47:24,591 --> 00:47:26,611 I can't talk, I can't even talk to you, I'm not gonna... 1193 00:47:26,635 --> 00:47:28,011 You will be fine. Oh, come on. 1194 00:47:28,095 --> 00:47:29,447 All right, look, I'm gonna stay. You go. Go. 1195 00:47:29,471 --> 00:47:30,472 All right. Hand these out. 1196 00:47:30,556 --> 00:47:31,796 Take the truck home, all right? 1197 00:47:31,848 --> 00:47:33,892 Put it... Put some gas in it. 1198 00:47:34,601 --> 00:47:35,894 Hey. Hi, everybody. 1199 00:47:35,978 --> 00:47:37,354 Uh, sorry to interrupt. 1200 00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:42,901 Everything all right? 1201 00:47:42,985 --> 00:47:44,736 Uh, yes. 1202 00:47:44,820 --> 00:47:46,905 Um, would you excuse me for just one minute? 1203 00:47:46,989 --> 00:47:48,115 Yes, certainly. 1204 00:47:48,198 --> 00:47:50,325 And don't get up. 1205 00:47:56,164 --> 00:47:57,308 I kind of know what everybody... 1206 00:47:57,332 --> 00:48:00,544 Handy, get the hell out of here. 1207 00:48:00,627 --> 00:48:02,796 Now, Sally, I have the right to campaign. 1208 00:48:02,879 --> 00:48:05,799 Campaign? You're making a fool of yourself. 1209 00:48:06,717 --> 00:48:09,052 Well, welcome to politics. 1210 00:48:10,846 --> 00:48:12,180 Discreetly. Discreetly. 1211 00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:18,353 What's in it? 1212 00:48:18,437 --> 00:48:20,105 They're, uh... 1213 00:48:20,188 --> 00:48:21,398 It's beyond me, sir. 1214 00:48:21,481 --> 00:48:23,275 What? Should I get it to the FBI? 1215 00:48:23,358 --> 00:48:24,818 Yes. No. No, no, no. 1216 00:48:24,901 --> 00:48:27,112 Here she comes. 1217 00:48:27,195 --> 00:48:29,114 Mr. President! 1218 00:48:29,197 --> 00:48:31,033 Watch your step, Mr. President. 1219 00:48:31,116 --> 00:48:32,343 It's going well, don't you think? 1220 00:48:32,367 --> 00:48:35,787 Mr. President, sir, I've been thinking. 1221 00:48:35,871 --> 00:48:37,623 I suggest a handshake, sir. 1222 00:48:37,706 --> 00:48:38,957 What? 1223 00:48:39,041 --> 00:48:40,685 Yes, sir. It's your first date. I think that a handshake... 1224 00:48:40,709 --> 00:48:42,836 Grace, Grace, I'm doing great here. 1225 00:48:42,919 --> 00:48:44,963 I think you're underestimating me. 1226 00:48:45,047 --> 00:48:46,423 Mr. President? 1227 00:48:46,506 --> 00:48:47,799 Are you gonna see her again? 1228 00:48:47,883 --> 00:48:49,176 Mr. President? 1229 00:48:49,259 --> 00:48:50,927 Sally, is he a gentleman? 1230 00:48:51,011 --> 00:48:53,513 Sally, over here. How'd the date go? 1231 00:48:53,597 --> 00:48:56,266 Have you officially dumped Handy, Miss Mannis? 1232 00:48:56,350 --> 00:48:57,559 Whoa! 1233 00:48:57,643 --> 00:48:58,727 Was that a meteor? 1234 00:48:58,810 --> 00:49:00,479 There's supposed to be a shower tonight. 1235 00:49:00,562 --> 00:49:03,565 Ah. Maybe it's a good omen. 1236 00:49:05,942 --> 00:49:08,695 I just want to apologize again for Handy. 1237 00:49:08,779 --> 00:49:12,282 I certainly did not tell him where we were going tonight. 1238 00:49:12,366 --> 00:49:14,534 I understand totally. 1239 00:49:15,702 --> 00:49:16,828 Well... 1240 00:49:17,621 --> 00:49:18,830 Good night. 1241 00:49:23,001 --> 00:49:24,169 I, uh... 1242 00:49:24,252 --> 00:49:25,337 Oops! 1243 00:49:28,423 --> 00:49:29,508 Yes! 1244 00:49:29,591 --> 00:49:30,884 Just a handshake? 1245 00:49:35,889 --> 00:49:37,724 A little rusty there, Mr. President? 1246 00:49:39,059 --> 00:49:40,060 Mr. President? 1247 00:49:40,143 --> 00:49:41,728 Crash and burn, man! 1248 00:49:45,565 --> 00:49:47,109 Okay, here it is again. 1249 00:49:47,192 --> 00:49:49,444 The President goes in for the kiss. 1250 00:49:49,528 --> 00:49:50,904 Out comes her hand. 1251 00:49:50,987 --> 00:49:54,282 And no, thank you, Mr. President. 1252 00:49:54,366 --> 00:49:56,118 Yeah! Let's get this guy another beer. 1253 00:49:56,201 --> 00:49:57,345 All right, let's go to Jaycee 1254 00:49:57,369 --> 00:49:59,287 for some more local opinion. Jaycee? 1255 00:49:59,371 --> 00:50:00,571 Thanks, Daryl. Yes, we do have 1256 00:50:00,622 --> 00:50:01,724 some people here tonight. So, what did you think? 1257 00:50:01,748 --> 00:50:03,142 Oh, wait. Guys, guys, guys. Hey. Hey. 1258 00:50:03,166 --> 00:50:05,877 He was pushed. He missed all her signals. 1259 00:50:05,961 --> 00:50:07,754 Ooh. And you, sir? 1260 00:50:07,838 --> 00:50:09,131 The president? 1261 00:50:09,214 --> 00:50:10,674 Loser. 1262 00:50:11,842 --> 00:50:12,843 That's me! 1263 00:50:14,594 --> 00:50:16,138 The president got vetoed. 1264 00:50:16,221 --> 00:50:17,848 Can you believe it? 1265 00:50:17,931 --> 00:50:20,434 Definitely the cold shoulder. 1266 00:50:21,017 --> 00:50:21,935 Cold shoulder. 1267 00:50:22,018 --> 00:50:23,895 The president lost that one. 1268 00:50:23,979 --> 00:50:26,022 Do I hear lame duck? 1269 00:50:26,106 --> 00:50:28,692 Turn it off. All right? Just-just turn it off! 1270 00:50:28,775 --> 00:50:29,985 Come on. Turn it off. 1271 00:50:30,068 --> 00:50:31,868 Turn it off. Will you...? Here, Mr. President. 1272 00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:34,239 There. It's off. 1273 00:50:34,322 --> 00:50:35,824 Well, how do we fix this? 1274 00:50:35,907 --> 00:50:38,368 We don't. We concentrate on substance. 1275 00:50:38,452 --> 00:50:39,619 We get rid of this debate. 1276 00:50:39,703 --> 00:50:40,912 What's wrong with a debate? 1277 00:50:40,996 --> 00:50:42,998 Well, putting him on the stage with you 1278 00:50:43,081 --> 00:50:44,666 gives him credibility, Eagle. 1279 00:50:44,750 --> 00:50:46,209 And he can be funny, sir. 1280 00:50:46,293 --> 00:50:47,627 Funny is your weakness. 1281 00:50:50,839 --> 00:50:51,882 Not... Not weakness. 1282 00:50:53,383 --> 00:50:55,635 Uh, uh... lesser... strength. 1283 00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:56,720 Oh, get out! 1284 00:50:59,723 --> 00:51:00,992 Out of your eye line? Or-or the room... 1285 00:51:01,016 --> 00:51:02,642 Just get out! Out! 1286 00:51:03,602 --> 00:51:04,811 Dyer, Cloud, 1287 00:51:04,895 --> 00:51:06,271 break his leg. 1288 00:51:06,354 --> 00:51:07,856 Yes, sir. Yes, sir. 1289 00:51:09,107 --> 00:51:10,484 They know I'm kidding, don't they? 1290 00:51:12,319 --> 00:51:13,487 I'm kidding! 1291 00:51:13,570 --> 00:51:15,238 I'm just kidding! 1292 00:51:19,201 --> 00:51:21,077 Sally! Sally! 1293 00:51:21,161 --> 00:51:22,621 Sal! 1294 00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:25,582 All right, I'm coming. 1295 00:51:25,665 --> 00:51:26,665 Stay there. 1296 00:51:26,708 --> 00:51:29,085 Froggy. Green Boy. 1297 00:51:29,169 --> 00:51:30,378 What... 1298 00:51:32,214 --> 00:51:34,299 Wha... 1299 00:51:44,226 --> 00:51:45,519 Sally! 1300 00:51:45,602 --> 00:51:46,770 Sally! 1301 00:51:46,853 --> 00:51:48,438 Come on! 1302 00:51:48,522 --> 00:51:50,232 The frog is empty. 1303 00:51:52,234 --> 00:51:53,819 There's nothing in it... 1304 00:51:55,153 --> 00:51:56,404 except frog. 1305 00:52:07,332 --> 00:52:10,335 Got a rock particle in my eye now. 1306 00:52:10,418 --> 00:52:11,503 My eye hurts. 1307 00:52:11,586 --> 00:52:13,255 I need a hug. 1308 00:52:14,172 --> 00:52:15,465 Sally, just... 1309 00:52:17,551 --> 00:52:19,761 For a little bit, we're gonna talk. 1310 00:52:23,348 --> 00:52:24,766 Wha... This... 1311 00:52:25,642 --> 00:52:26,893 This was a joke. 1312 00:52:26,977 --> 00:52:29,229 It was a... a bad joke. 1313 00:52:31,773 --> 00:52:34,484 It's a little bit... funny. 1314 00:52:35,193 --> 00:52:36,194 Go to sleep, 1315 00:52:36,278 --> 00:52:37,779 and maybe... 1316 00:52:37,863 --> 00:52:40,282 maybe we'll meet in our dreams. 1317 00:52:40,949 --> 00:52:42,075 Like may... 1318 00:52:42,158 --> 00:52:44,202 Like you can connect a Nintendo 1319 00:52:44,286 --> 00:52:46,788 from one player to the next player. 1320 00:52:48,331 --> 00:52:49,708 I'm blowing you a kiss. 1321 00:52:49,791 --> 00:52:51,084 It's by the window. 1322 00:52:51,167 --> 00:52:52,919 And you... Tomorrow get it 1323 00:52:53,003 --> 00:52:54,421 when you wake up. 1324 00:52:54,504 --> 00:52:56,923 You brush your teeth, and then you go get it. 1325 00:52:58,967 --> 00:53:00,093 All right. 1326 00:53:00,176 --> 00:53:01,636 I'm going home. 1327 00:53:01,720 --> 00:53:03,638 I hurt my eye. 1328 00:53:05,974 --> 00:53:07,183 Home. 1329 00:53:07,267 --> 00:53:09,102 Feed my doggie. 1330 00:53:09,185 --> 00:53:10,437 Hey, Julie, wait up! 1331 00:53:17,694 --> 00:53:18,820 Good evening, fellas. 1332 00:53:18,904 --> 00:53:19,905 Testing, testing. 1333 00:53:19,988 --> 00:53:21,197 Uh, can y'all hear me? 1334 00:53:21,281 --> 00:53:22,282 Sally! 1335 00:53:22,365 --> 00:53:23,366 Hey, Dina. 1336 00:53:23,450 --> 00:53:24,618 What took you? 1337 00:53:30,415 --> 00:53:32,417 Would you stop sweating? 1338 00:53:32,500 --> 00:53:34,836 It goes with hyperventilating. 1339 00:53:38,298 --> 00:53:40,008 We're all set, Eagle. 1340 00:53:40,091 --> 00:53:42,677 You'll be stage right, showing your best side. 1341 00:53:42,761 --> 00:53:45,472 Talking points, issue cheat sheets. 1342 00:53:45,555 --> 00:53:48,642 Wherever possible, tell 'em about your experience. 1343 00:53:48,725 --> 00:53:52,062 Demonstrate all the resources that you can bring to Mooseport. 1344 00:53:55,815 --> 00:53:57,233 I'm not afraid of you. 1345 00:54:00,070 --> 00:54:01,237 I can't feel my feet. 1346 00:54:01,321 --> 00:54:02,322 Your feet are fine. 1347 00:54:02,405 --> 00:54:03,448 I can't feel them. 1348 00:54:03,531 --> 00:54:05,450 Don't be a weenie. Now, shape up. 1349 00:54:05,533 --> 00:54:06,701 How... Is my hair sticking up? 1350 00:54:06,785 --> 00:54:07,953 You look... Turn around. 1351 00:54:08,036 --> 00:54:09,454 Put it... Put it down already. 1352 00:54:09,537 --> 00:54:10,598 Okay, shut your eyes, baby. 1353 00:54:10,622 --> 00:54:12,165 Shut your eyes. 1354 00:54:12,248 --> 00:54:13,416 Stop it! Stop... 1355 00:54:13,500 --> 00:54:15,710 Look at it, Handy. 1356 00:54:15,794 --> 00:54:18,588 Motels are full. Stores are packed. 1357 00:54:18,672 --> 00:54:19,923 Do you realize that this is 1358 00:54:20,006 --> 00:54:23,134 Mooseport's first traffic jam since... ever! 1359 00:54:23,218 --> 00:54:24,403 We gotta have a second debate. 1360 00:54:24,427 --> 00:54:25,637 How about it? No! 1361 00:54:25,720 --> 00:54:27,198 Mr. President! Hey, y'all! Come on. Let's go. 1362 00:54:27,222 --> 00:54:29,432 I'm... My nose is making a whistling noise. 1363 00:54:45,448 --> 00:54:46,449 Hey, Handy! 1364 00:54:48,451 --> 00:54:49,744 Sorry. 1365 00:54:51,496 --> 00:54:53,415 My fellow Americans, 1366 00:54:53,498 --> 00:54:57,794 welcome to the first of two televised mayoral debates. 1367 00:54:57,877 --> 00:55:00,213 In the grand ol' Mooseport tradition, 1368 00:55:00,296 --> 00:55:02,090 a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors 1369 00:55:02,173 --> 00:55:05,802 will determine who will answer questions first. Gentlemen. 1370 00:55:05,885 --> 00:55:07,345 Show 'em how it's done now. 1371 00:55:07,429 --> 00:55:09,180 Handy. Mr. President. 1372 00:55:09,264 --> 00:55:10,890 Eagle! 1373 00:55:10,974 --> 00:55:12,225 You know the rules. 1374 00:55:13,143 --> 00:55:15,895 Rock. Paper. Scissors. 1375 00:55:15,979 --> 00:55:18,064 Okay? On the count of three. 1376 00:55:18,148 --> 00:55:19,607 Go get 'em, Eagle! 1377 00:55:19,691 --> 00:55:22,318 One... two... three. 1378 00:55:23,528 --> 00:55:25,989 Rock, rock. Tie. Go again. 1379 00:55:26,072 --> 00:55:27,699 Pick paper! 1380 00:55:27,782 --> 00:55:29,617 - I'd choose scissors! - Okay? 1381 00:55:29,701 --> 00:55:32,162 - Pick a rock. - Come on, focus. 1382 00:55:32,245 --> 00:55:34,205 Good luck, Mr. President! 1383 00:55:34,289 --> 00:55:35,915 One, two, three... 1384 00:55:35,999 --> 00:55:37,917 Oh, paper, paper. Tie. Go again. 1385 00:55:41,087 --> 00:55:42,589 Rock. 1386 00:55:53,349 --> 00:55:55,769 Focus! Focus! 1387 00:55:55,852 --> 00:55:57,604 One, two, three! 1388 00:56:00,148 --> 00:56:02,233 Oh, come on! 1389 00:56:02,317 --> 00:56:03,526 Rock breaks scissors. 1390 00:56:03,610 --> 00:56:06,321 The president wins! 1391 00:56:10,116 --> 00:56:13,161 I am now prepared to entertain questions from the floor. 1392 00:56:13,244 --> 00:56:14,287 I got one! 1393 00:56:14,370 --> 00:56:16,372 Clay? 1394 00:56:16,456 --> 00:56:20,210 Uh, some of them environment people have taken 1395 00:56:20,293 --> 00:56:23,838 to calling Ned Barker's pond a wetlands. 1396 00:56:23,922 --> 00:56:26,466 Now, I've been fishing there for 30 years. 1397 00:56:26,549 --> 00:56:27,926 What's gonna happen? 1398 00:56:28,009 --> 00:56:30,220 - What's gonna happen? - Good question. 1399 00:56:31,429 --> 00:56:32,597 Clay, 1400 00:56:32,680 --> 00:56:35,642 I was the most environmentally conscious president 1401 00:56:35,725 --> 00:56:37,227 since Teddy Roosevelt. 1402 00:56:37,310 --> 00:56:39,270 Human population will not threaten 1403 00:56:39,354 --> 00:56:43,691 wildlife in this area for 200 years, if ever. 1404 00:56:43,775 --> 00:56:45,735 So you go right on fishing in that pond 1405 00:56:45,819 --> 00:56:47,612 and if anybody tries to stop you, 1406 00:56:47,695 --> 00:56:49,197 you send them to me, all right? 1407 00:56:51,574 --> 00:56:54,244 Right on, Mr. President! 1408 00:56:55,703 --> 00:56:56,830 Handy? 1409 00:57:00,667 --> 00:57:02,669 Come on, Handy. Come on. 1410 00:57:06,381 --> 00:57:09,092 That's well put, Mr. President. 1411 00:57:11,594 --> 00:57:13,179 It sounds good to me. 1412 00:57:20,854 --> 00:57:22,730 Aw, Handy, come on. 1413 00:57:23,606 --> 00:57:24,816 My turn! My turn! 1414 00:57:24,899 --> 00:57:26,484 Morris! Over here! Over here! 1415 00:57:26,568 --> 00:57:28,611 Uh, Francis? 1416 00:57:28,695 --> 00:57:32,073 Uh, for ten years now we have needed a stop sign 1417 00:57:32,157 --> 00:57:33,658 in front of Lucy Decker's house. 1418 00:57:33,741 --> 00:57:34,741 Nah, nah, nah. 1419 00:57:34,784 --> 00:57:35,910 And she has done everything 1420 00:57:35,994 --> 00:57:39,038 except burn down city hall to stop it. 1421 00:57:39,122 --> 00:57:42,041 If elected, what will you do about it? 1422 00:57:43,543 --> 00:57:45,420 First off, I would convene 1423 00:57:45,503 --> 00:57:47,547 a commission to, uh, study the problem. 1424 00:57:47,630 --> 00:57:51,759 I would appoint a blue-ribbon panel of traffic specialists, 1425 00:57:51,843 --> 00:57:53,428 right-of-way attorneys and 1426 00:57:53,511 --> 00:57:57,140 the Army Corps of Engineers to assess the situation 1427 00:57:57,223 --> 00:57:58,683 and make recommendations. 1428 00:57:58,766 --> 00:58:01,811 I would spare no effort to make our streets 1429 00:58:01,895 --> 00:58:03,605 the safest in the world. 1430 00:58:06,482 --> 00:58:08,318 Get 'em, Eagle! 1431 00:58:09,652 --> 00:58:10,945 Handy, your turn. 1432 00:58:11,029 --> 00:58:12,947 Gotta go for it! 1433 00:58:14,449 --> 00:58:16,910 That's well put, Mr. President. 1434 00:58:24,250 --> 00:58:26,461 Lucy, let me ask you. What's the problem? 1435 00:58:26,544 --> 00:58:28,254 Car headlights. 1436 00:58:28,338 --> 00:58:31,090 Ten years ago, they tried a stop sign 1437 00:58:31,174 --> 00:58:32,967 and when cars on Bay Street stopped, 1438 00:58:33,051 --> 00:58:35,637 their headlights stopped right on my headboard. 1439 00:58:37,096 --> 00:58:38,723 Have you tried curtains? 1440 00:58:38,806 --> 00:58:40,016 Excuse me? 1441 00:58:40,099 --> 00:58:42,936 You know, blackout curtains, for your windows. 1442 00:58:43,019 --> 00:58:44,854 You'll probably sleep better anyway. 1443 00:58:46,648 --> 00:58:49,275 Well, I'd try that. Nobody ever suggested that. 1444 00:58:49,359 --> 00:58:52,820 Well, you come by the store and we'll help you out. 1445 00:58:53,780 --> 00:58:55,031 I'll do that. 1446 00:58:55,114 --> 00:58:57,075 That's it, Handy. 1447 00:58:57,158 --> 00:58:58,868 You tell 'em! 1448 00:59:02,830 --> 00:59:04,165 Attaway, Handy! 1449 00:59:05,416 --> 00:59:06,960 Dad! Dad! 1450 00:59:07,043 --> 00:59:08,628 Mandy Gutman. 1451 00:59:08,711 --> 00:59:11,923 Um, Dad, this is a question for Handy. Is that okay? 1452 00:59:12,006 --> 00:59:14,050 Well, if the president has no objection. 1453 00:59:14,133 --> 00:59:16,928 I reserve the right to respond, but no objection. 1454 00:59:17,387 --> 00:59:19,472 Okay, Mandy. 1455 00:59:19,555 --> 00:59:21,641 Handy, I was just wondering, 1456 00:59:21,724 --> 00:59:24,435 now that Sally is dating the president... 1457 00:59:27,897 --> 00:59:30,900 does that mean that you're available? 1458 00:59:30,984 --> 00:59:33,736 Okay, people, can we keep the questioning 1459 00:59:33,820 --> 00:59:35,154 to the subject of the election? 1460 00:59:35,238 --> 00:59:37,115 Uh, now I think Joe had a question somewhere... 1461 00:59:37,198 --> 00:59:40,285 Actually, Morris, I'd like to address the issue, if I might. 1462 00:59:40,368 --> 00:59:41,368 Thank you. 1463 00:59:41,411 --> 00:59:43,746 Uh, thanks, Mandy, for that question. 1464 00:59:43,830 --> 00:59:46,749 Sally, I know... 1465 00:59:46,833 --> 00:59:49,419 I-I might not be the best boyfriend, but... 1466 00:59:50,753 --> 00:59:53,172 Look, I thought we had a good thing going here. 1467 00:59:53,256 --> 00:59:56,342 And you got to know how much I care about you, right? 1468 00:59:59,512 --> 01:00:01,740 Why else you think I got so mad about the underwear with the president? 1469 01:00:01,764 --> 01:00:04,350 Tell us about the underwear! 1470 01:00:04,434 --> 01:00:05,351 Was it a thong? 1471 01:00:05,435 --> 01:00:07,270 No, no, no, no, no. 1472 01:00:07,353 --> 01:00:11,816 No. It's just... It's a color thing. 1473 01:00:11,899 --> 01:00:14,152 Sally, what's the deal? 1474 01:00:14,235 --> 01:00:15,515 Are you going out with him or me? 1475 01:00:17,071 --> 01:00:19,324 Go for the eagle! 1476 01:00:19,407 --> 01:00:20,992 Sally, pick the president. 1477 01:00:21,075 --> 01:00:23,536 Eagle! Eagle! 1478 01:00:23,911 --> 01:00:25,163 Stop it! 1479 01:00:25,663 --> 01:00:26,831 Stop it! 1480 01:00:28,333 --> 01:00:31,044 Come on, Sally, choose Handy! 1481 01:00:31,127 --> 01:00:32,378 Which one is it gonna be? 1482 01:00:32,462 --> 01:00:35,131 Handy! Handy! 1483 01:00:35,214 --> 01:00:36,215 Sally! 1484 01:00:38,426 --> 01:00:39,886 Sally. 1485 01:00:39,969 --> 01:00:42,138 Excuse me. Excuse me. Look out. 1486 01:00:47,477 --> 01:00:51,230 Sally! Sally! Sally. 1487 01:00:51,314 --> 01:00:52,315 Are you crazy? 1488 01:00:52,398 --> 01:00:53,417 Look, you didn't answer the phone 1489 01:00:53,441 --> 01:00:54,984 and you took the key out of the frog. 1490 01:00:55,068 --> 01:00:56,587 I can't believe you did that. I just can't. I can't believe you. 1491 01:00:56,611 --> 01:00:58,005 How about what I said up there? Doesn't that mean anything? 1492 01:00:58,029 --> 01:00:59,173 I heard you talking about my underwear 1493 01:00:59,197 --> 01:01:00,591 in front of the whole town, yes, I did. 1494 01:01:00,615 --> 01:01:02,867 The whole country. That's how much I care. 1495 01:01:02,950 --> 01:01:04,827 Wait a minute. You didn't answer the question. 1496 01:01:04,911 --> 01:01:05,911 What question? 1497 01:01:05,953 --> 01:01:06,954 Is it me or him? 1498 01:01:07,038 --> 01:01:08,373 Is it me or your new truck? 1499 01:01:08,456 --> 01:01:10,708 Don't try to make this about me, Handy. 1500 01:01:10,792 --> 01:01:11,709 It's about you. 1501 01:01:11,793 --> 01:01:13,878 How? How is that about me? How... 1502 01:01:18,174 --> 01:01:20,134 Man, she pushed you right down. 1503 01:01:20,218 --> 01:01:21,761 Yeah, she's stronger than me. 1504 01:01:22,887 --> 01:01:24,806 It's not about me. It's about you. 1505 01:01:24,889 --> 01:01:26,516 How? How is it about me? 1506 01:01:28,518 --> 01:01:30,436 Well, you heard it here first. 1507 01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:32,772 It looks like Sally is going to cast her ballot 1508 01:01:32,855 --> 01:01:34,649 in favor of the president. 1509 01:01:34,732 --> 01:01:36,818 I'm Christy Adams, TVNN News. 1510 01:01:38,152 --> 01:01:39,821 Yeah, baby, you're going down. 1511 01:01:40,863 --> 01:01:42,115 So, what do you think? 1512 01:01:42,198 --> 01:01:44,242 Should I set up another date, or what? 1513 01:01:44,325 --> 01:01:45,410 Why not? 1514 01:01:45,493 --> 01:01:46,661 Excuse me. 1515 01:01:47,161 --> 01:01:48,371 Grace? 1516 01:01:48,830 --> 01:01:49,747 Grace? 1517 01:01:49,831 --> 01:01:51,416 Well, what's her problem? 1518 01:01:51,499 --> 01:01:53,751 Maybe she saw the numbers. 1519 01:01:53,835 --> 01:01:55,475 You may have done all right with the girl, 1520 01:01:55,545 --> 01:01:57,171 but the debate was a disaster. 1521 01:01:57,255 --> 01:01:59,298 What are you talking about? This is impossible. 1522 01:01:59,382 --> 01:02:01,050 It's a small town, Eagle. 1523 01:02:01,134 --> 01:02:02,969 The rules are different here. 1524 01:02:04,137 --> 01:02:06,139 Uh... well, you guys are the hotshots. 1525 01:02:06,222 --> 01:02:07,598 Brainstorm. 1526 01:02:09,058 --> 01:02:10,058 Well? 1527 01:02:11,227 --> 01:02:12,812 Uh... sir... 1528 01:02:12,895 --> 01:02:14,939 Uh, excuse me, Mr. President? 1529 01:02:15,022 --> 01:02:16,107 Yes? 1530 01:02:16,190 --> 01:02:17,942 We could eliminate him. 1531 01:02:18,025 --> 01:02:19,485 What? 1532 01:02:19,569 --> 01:02:21,505 You want to make it look like a accident, of course, 1533 01:02:21,529 --> 01:02:23,656 but, uh, maybe his brakes could go out. 1534 01:02:24,031 --> 01:02:25,324 Oh, my God. 1535 01:02:25,408 --> 01:02:26,951 Or he could slip on an oil slick. 1536 01:02:27,034 --> 01:02:28,995 What, are you insane? 1537 01:02:29,078 --> 01:02:30,371 Uh, no, sir, I was... 1538 01:02:30,455 --> 01:02:32,039 I was just brainstorming. 1539 01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:35,793 Did I misunderstand the question? 1540 01:02:35,877 --> 01:02:38,004 Thank God you guys are on our side. 1541 01:02:38,087 --> 01:02:39,839 Thank you, sir. Thank you, sir. 1542 01:02:47,013 --> 01:02:48,013 Hello. 1543 01:02:48,055 --> 01:02:52,143 Uh... small town politics. 1544 01:03:01,486 --> 01:03:04,238 I like three sugars. You only need one. 1545 01:03:04,322 --> 01:03:07,200 I like three. Three's unhealthy. 1546 01:03:07,283 --> 01:03:09,160 What's eating you? Eating me? 1547 01:03:09,243 --> 01:03:10,953 Yes. Somehow you seem irked. 1548 01:03:11,037 --> 01:03:12,872 Irked? Really? Irked. 1549 01:03:12,955 --> 01:03:14,123 Really. 1550 01:03:14,207 --> 01:03:15,833 Well, actually I am a little bit irked, 1551 01:03:15,917 --> 01:03:17,126 now that you mention it. 1552 01:03:18,878 --> 01:03:20,296 Would you like to know why? 1553 01:03:20,379 --> 01:03:21,422 Absolutely. 1554 01:03:21,506 --> 01:03:24,634 Sit down there, Grace, and just tell me all about it, 1555 01:03:24,717 --> 01:03:26,052 okay? 1556 01:03:27,345 --> 01:03:28,471 Well... 1557 01:03:29,472 --> 01:03:30,723 When you... 1558 01:03:30,806 --> 01:03:32,725 When we first came to live here... 1559 01:03:32,808 --> 01:03:33,726 Yes? I... 1560 01:03:33,809 --> 01:03:34,894 Excuse me, Mr. President. 1561 01:03:34,977 --> 01:03:36,371 Excuse me. Could we have a minute here, please? 1562 01:03:36,395 --> 01:03:38,814 Sorry, Eagle, we have an emergency. 1563 01:03:38,898 --> 01:03:41,168 Unless somebody's dying, Bert, I don't want to hear about it. 1564 01:03:41,192 --> 01:03:42,568 It's Charlotte. 1565 01:03:42,652 --> 01:03:44,612 She's coming here. 1566 01:03:44,695 --> 01:03:47,573 Howdy. Handy for mayor. 1567 01:03:47,657 --> 01:03:49,700 Vote for Handy. Go to court... 1568 01:03:49,784 --> 01:03:50,785 That's right. Uh-huh. 1569 01:03:50,868 --> 01:03:51,994 Get a restraining order. 1570 01:03:52,078 --> 01:03:54,056 Come on, people, we got to do something about this. 1571 01:03:54,080 --> 01:03:55,206 The sure way, sir? 1572 01:03:55,289 --> 01:03:57,708 Dyer, this is too smart for her. 1573 01:03:57,792 --> 01:04:01,045 Who thought of this? It was him, wasn't it? Yeah. 1574 01:04:01,712 --> 01:04:03,923 Grace, I'll handle this. 1575 01:04:06,300 --> 01:04:07,593 Vote for Handy. 1576 01:04:08,302 --> 01:04:09,887 I had dignity once. 1577 01:04:10,846 --> 01:04:12,848 Does anybody remember that? 1578 01:04:16,936 --> 01:04:18,563 Handy for mayor. 1579 01:04:21,983 --> 01:04:24,235 Did Handy put you up to this? 1580 01:04:24,318 --> 01:04:26,904 Hello, Monroe. What brought you here? 1581 01:04:26,988 --> 01:04:29,740 Charlotte, hon, could we talk in private, please? 1582 01:04:29,824 --> 01:04:31,742 This is as private as I got for 20 years. 1583 01:04:31,826 --> 01:04:32,868 What's on your mind? 1584 01:04:32,952 --> 01:04:34,680 Well, sweetie, if, uh, we could just talk alone, 1585 01:04:34,704 --> 01:04:37,104 I'm sure we could work something out. Howdy. Handy for mayor. 1586 01:04:37,164 --> 01:04:39,792 Honeybunch, uh, could we go inside, please? 1587 01:04:40,710 --> 01:04:41,794 Fine. 1588 01:04:41,877 --> 01:04:44,213 Why do you think she's here, Mr. President? 1589 01:04:45,339 --> 01:04:47,008 Okay, Neil, that ought to do it. 1590 01:04:47,091 --> 01:04:48,009 President's coming. 1591 01:04:48,092 --> 01:04:50,428 Better hide the payroll benefits. 1592 01:04:50,511 --> 01:04:52,430 Charlotte, would you step into my office? 1593 01:04:52,513 --> 01:04:53,639 Yes, dear. 1594 01:04:57,018 --> 01:04:57,893 Charlotte... 1595 01:04:57,977 --> 01:04:59,577 Married couples have a shorthand, Monroe. 1596 01:04:59,645 --> 01:05:01,355 Ours is $9 million. 1597 01:05:01,439 --> 01:05:02,857 Nine? I don't have it! 1598 01:05:02,940 --> 01:05:04,150 Twenty-five years. 1599 01:05:04,233 --> 01:05:06,444 A quarter of a century I endured, 1600 01:05:06,527 --> 01:05:07,945 and now you're pleading poverty? 1601 01:05:08,029 --> 01:05:09,739 You took the house. You took the boat. 1602 01:05:09,822 --> 01:05:12,074 You've taken everything but my title! 1603 01:05:12,158 --> 01:05:13,158 Hello, this is former 1604 01:05:13,200 --> 01:05:14,994 First Lady Charlotte Cole. 1605 01:05:15,077 --> 01:05:16,579 I spent 25 years 1606 01:05:16,662 --> 01:05:18,122 with Monroe Cole, which is why 1607 01:05:18,205 --> 01:05:20,374 I'm supporting Handy Harrison. 1608 01:05:20,458 --> 01:05:21,667 Yes, you heard me. 1609 01:05:21,751 --> 01:05:24,211 I'm supporting Handy Harrison. 1610 01:05:24,295 --> 01:05:25,296 Eagle? 1611 01:05:30,801 --> 01:05:33,054 Have I gotten through to you, lambkins? 1612 01:05:35,139 --> 01:05:38,017 I never thought you'd stoop this low, Harrison. 1613 01:05:38,100 --> 01:05:39,810 I thought this was going to be a fair fight 1614 01:05:39,894 --> 01:05:42,104 between two honorable men, but I can see now 1615 01:05:42,188 --> 01:05:44,732 that I'm up against somebody who doesn't play by the rules. 1616 01:05:44,815 --> 01:05:46,543 No, I don't... Have you no sense of decency, sir? 1617 01:05:46,567 --> 01:05:48,694 I'm sorry. Talk about hitting below the belt. 1618 01:05:48,778 --> 01:05:50,738 Bringing a man's ex-wife into it. 1619 01:05:50,821 --> 01:05:53,908 You're showing your true colors, aren't you? 1620 01:05:53,991 --> 01:05:55,576 Hey! 1621 01:05:55,660 --> 01:05:57,828 I had nothing to do with it! 1622 01:05:57,912 --> 01:05:59,580 Mr. President? Watch your back. 1623 01:05:59,664 --> 01:06:01,499 That's it. I've had it. 1624 01:06:02,041 --> 01:06:03,250 I want them both. 1625 01:06:03,334 --> 01:06:05,354 I want you to be thinking about a way to do it, Dyer. 1626 01:06:05,378 --> 01:06:06,587 Coming through. Sir. 1627 01:06:06,671 --> 01:06:08,339 Is he... Is he serious? No! No! No! 1628 01:06:08,422 --> 01:06:09,590 'Cause I thought of... 1629 01:06:09,674 --> 01:06:11,842 Mr. President, you want a fair fight? Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1630 01:06:11,926 --> 01:06:15,388 You just called me dishonorable, sir, and-and-and I'm not. 1631 01:06:15,471 --> 01:06:17,765 So if it's a fair fight you want, 1632 01:06:18,474 --> 01:06:20,101 just you and me, 1633 01:06:21,018 --> 01:06:22,561 I think I know the place. 1634 01:06:30,069 --> 01:06:31,445 You're on. 1635 01:06:33,989 --> 01:06:36,367 What are we doing here, Harrison? 1636 01:06:36,450 --> 01:06:38,744 What are the stakes? Mayor? 1637 01:06:39,954 --> 01:06:42,373 No, sir. Sally. 1638 01:06:43,332 --> 01:06:45,334 Loser backs off of Sally. 1639 01:06:45,418 --> 01:06:47,920 We're both ten handicaps, sir. Sir? 1640 01:06:48,003 --> 01:06:49,046 Fair fight. 1641 01:06:49,130 --> 01:06:50,423 You're on. 1642 01:06:50,506 --> 01:06:52,192 Uh, sir, if I could just talk to you for a quick second. 1643 01:06:52,216 --> 01:06:53,467 Show me the way. 1644 01:06:53,551 --> 01:06:54,969 Sir, uh, 1645 01:06:55,052 --> 01:06:57,532 there's something I'd like to discuss with you about your ga... 1646 01:06:57,805 --> 01:06:59,014 Eye line. 1647 01:07:03,144 --> 01:07:04,145 Nice shot. 1648 01:07:04,228 --> 01:07:05,312 Thank you. 1649 01:07:05,396 --> 01:07:06,397 A little bit left. 1650 01:07:06,480 --> 01:07:07,940 Right where I was aiming. 1651 01:07:08,023 --> 01:07:09,567 I might drive the green. 1652 01:07:16,490 --> 01:07:17,908 Hello! 1653 01:07:17,992 --> 01:07:19,243 Wait for me! 1654 01:07:21,579 --> 01:07:23,164 What are you doing here? 1655 01:07:23,247 --> 01:07:26,751 Just making sure a fair fight's fair. 1656 01:07:26,834 --> 01:07:28,794 Call them out, Mr. Dyer. 1657 01:07:29,462 --> 01:07:30,963 I'm, uh, sorry, ma'am? 1658 01:07:37,762 --> 01:07:39,472 Cloud! 1659 01:07:39,555 --> 01:07:41,265 You and your men come on out! 1660 01:07:42,933 --> 01:07:44,560 Oh, shit. 1661 01:07:44,643 --> 01:07:47,313 Come on! I know you're there! 1662 01:07:50,733 --> 01:07:51,776 All right, come on out. 1663 01:07:52,526 --> 01:07:54,904 Everyone onto the fairway. 1664 01:07:57,198 --> 01:07:58,115 Let's move. 1665 01:07:58,199 --> 01:08:00,785 On the fairway. On the fairway. 1666 01:08:00,868 --> 01:08:03,621 We're securing the perimeter, Mrs. Cole! 1667 01:08:03,704 --> 01:08:06,624 Secure it from there, okay? 1668 01:08:06,707 --> 01:08:07,875 Yes, ma'am. 1669 01:08:10,336 --> 01:08:11,921 Stay in position. 1670 01:08:12,004 --> 01:08:14,840 Hit away, lambkins. 1671 01:08:25,935 --> 01:08:28,312 Wait. Wait. Wait for the bounce. 1672 01:08:32,983 --> 01:08:35,194 Damn. Take a mulligan. 1673 01:08:35,277 --> 01:08:37,029 We're playing for a woman, sir. 1674 01:08:37,112 --> 01:08:38,280 There's no mulligans. 1675 01:08:38,364 --> 01:08:41,325 What? What do I do? 1676 01:08:41,408 --> 01:08:43,202 You've never hit a ball out of bounds before? 1677 01:08:43,285 --> 01:08:44,787 Not since I was governor. 1678 01:08:44,870 --> 01:08:48,499 You hit another one from here, shooting three. 1679 01:08:48,582 --> 01:08:49,583 Three? 1680 01:08:49,667 --> 01:08:50,751 Three. 1681 01:08:51,210 --> 01:08:52,210 One, 1682 01:08:52,253 --> 01:08:55,881 two... shooting three. 1683 01:08:59,093 --> 01:09:00,719 Excuse me, Mr. President? 1684 01:09:00,803 --> 01:09:01,804 What? 1685 01:09:02,513 --> 01:09:04,223 You can't beat him, sir. 1686 01:09:04,306 --> 01:09:05,558 What are you talking about? 1687 01:09:05,641 --> 01:09:06,892 We're the same handicap. 1688 01:09:06,976 --> 01:09:09,562 Well, your handicap is augmented. 1689 01:09:09,645 --> 01:09:11,188 What are you trying to say? 1690 01:09:11,272 --> 01:09:13,399 Well, it was really Miss Sutherland's idea. 1691 01:09:13,482 --> 01:09:16,944 Uh, she had Dyer and Cloud and occasionally me, 1692 01:09:17,027 --> 01:09:18,279 uh, we helped you 1693 01:09:18,362 --> 01:09:21,365 with lucky bounces and scorecard fudging. 1694 01:09:21,448 --> 01:09:24,159 Uh, and you can't beat him, sir. 1695 01:09:24,243 --> 01:09:25,369 Is there a problem? 1696 01:09:27,246 --> 01:09:28,330 No. 1697 01:09:31,917 --> 01:09:33,419 No problem. 1698 01:09:42,720 --> 01:09:44,388 Ah. That one's in. 1699 01:09:44,471 --> 01:09:47,016 Didn't quite get it on the green. 1700 01:09:48,642 --> 01:09:50,936 I'll-I'll take it. 1701 01:09:51,020 --> 01:09:52,771 You two have helped enough. 1702 01:10:00,237 --> 01:10:02,448 Hi, Peggy. Can I get a black coffee? 1703 01:10:02,531 --> 01:10:03,824 Sure. 1704 01:10:05,159 --> 01:10:06,160 Hello. 1705 01:10:06,243 --> 01:10:07,286 Hello. 1706 01:10:08,287 --> 01:10:09,330 Here you are, dear. 1707 01:10:09,413 --> 01:10:10,831 Thanks. 1708 01:10:13,208 --> 01:10:16,587 So I hear they're golfing for mayor. 1709 01:10:16,670 --> 01:10:20,549 Actually... they're golfing for you. 1710 01:10:21,050 --> 01:10:22,051 No. 1711 01:10:22,134 --> 01:10:23,427 Yeah. 1712 01:10:23,510 --> 01:10:24,803 No. 1713 01:10:26,722 --> 01:10:28,557 Can I make this an Irish coffee? 1714 01:10:29,224 --> 01:10:30,726 This okay? 1715 01:10:41,487 --> 01:10:42,905 Just... 1716 01:10:59,755 --> 01:11:02,174 Oh, that's, uh, five. 1717 01:11:08,722 --> 01:11:09,722 That was a gimme. 1718 01:11:09,765 --> 01:11:11,684 No, no, no. There are no gimmes. 1719 01:11:11,767 --> 01:11:13,143 It was inside the leather. 1720 01:11:13,227 --> 01:11:14,895 Yeah, you got to get it in the hole. 1721 01:11:22,361 --> 01:11:24,071 I'll take a seven. 1722 01:11:24,154 --> 01:11:26,073 Actually, it's 15. 1723 01:11:26,699 --> 01:11:27,699 Fifteen? 1724 01:11:27,741 --> 01:11:29,159 No way. 1725 01:11:29,243 --> 01:11:30,411 Yes, way. 1726 01:11:30,494 --> 01:11:32,079 Uh, the president is right. It's seven. 1727 01:11:32,162 --> 01:11:33,163 Yeah, it was seven. 1728 01:11:33,247 --> 01:11:34,999 Well, let's count them. Let's count them. 1729 01:11:35,082 --> 01:11:36,125 One, out of bounds. 1730 01:11:36,208 --> 01:11:37,918 Two, back on the tee. 1731 01:11:38,002 --> 01:11:39,586 Three, in the rough. 1732 01:11:39,670 --> 01:11:41,130 Four, in the sand. 1733 01:11:42,339 --> 01:11:44,383 Five, you missed completely. 1734 01:11:45,801 --> 01:11:49,555 Six, uh, almost out of the sand, but still in it. 1735 01:11:50,681 --> 01:11:54,768 Seven, finally, out of the sand into that sand. 1736 01:11:55,894 --> 01:11:58,480 Eight, out of the sand into the rough. 1737 01:11:58,564 --> 01:12:01,025 That's when you threw your club at the tree. 1738 01:12:01,942 --> 01:12:03,902 Yeah, yeah. 1739 01:12:03,986 --> 01:12:06,280 Nine, you almost hit me. 1740 01:12:06,363 --> 01:12:07,781 Ten, you did hit me. 1741 01:12:12,369 --> 01:12:13,829 Eleven, on the green. 1742 01:12:13,912 --> 01:12:16,623 Uh, 12, you putt to six feet past the hole. 1743 01:12:16,707 --> 01:12:18,792 That's when you said that curse that I've 1744 01:12:18,876 --> 01:12:20,919 never heard before. 1745 01:12:21,003 --> 01:12:23,172 Thirteen, you putt to one foot from the hole. 1746 01:12:23,255 --> 01:12:24,923 Fourteen, you missed the putt. 1747 01:12:25,007 --> 01:12:26,091 You said, "That's a gimme." 1748 01:12:26,175 --> 01:12:28,135 I said, "No, there are no gimmes." 1749 01:12:28,218 --> 01:12:30,637 Fifteen, in the hole. 1750 01:12:32,639 --> 01:12:34,099 Fifteen. 1751 01:12:34,183 --> 01:12:36,643 That was so close. 1752 01:12:36,727 --> 01:12:39,605 Okay. All right. 1753 01:12:39,688 --> 01:12:40,731 Now... Okay. 1754 01:12:40,814 --> 01:12:44,068 Through... the sugars... 1755 01:12:44,151 --> 01:12:48,030 And then around the saucer... Mm-hmm. 1756 01:12:48,113 --> 01:12:51,033 And through the ketchup tunnel. Mm. 1757 01:12:51,116 --> 01:12:54,495 And the winner gets Morris Gutman. 1758 01:12:54,578 --> 01:12:55,579 Married. 1759 01:12:55,662 --> 01:12:57,372 Oh. Kent. 1760 01:12:59,458 --> 01:13:02,294 Are you just trying to get me to throw the match? 1761 01:13:03,879 --> 01:13:04,963 Reuben. 1762 01:13:05,047 --> 01:13:06,298 Who? Who's Reuben? Reuben. 1763 01:13:06,381 --> 01:13:09,009 "I said get the president!" 1764 01:13:09,093 --> 01:13:12,012 That's a great idea. 1765 01:13:12,096 --> 01:13:13,097 The winner... 1766 01:13:13,180 --> 01:13:14,848 Gets Reuben. 1767 01:13:14,932 --> 01:13:16,141 Ready? 1768 01:13:24,149 --> 01:13:26,360 Oh, my God. That must mean a do-over. 1769 01:13:27,694 --> 01:13:29,071 Okay, Handy, 1770 01:13:29,154 --> 01:13:31,740 you're up about a million strokes. 1771 01:13:31,824 --> 01:13:33,450 It's the last hole. 1772 01:13:33,534 --> 01:13:34,952 How about double or nothing? 1773 01:13:35,035 --> 01:13:36,870 What's double? What's nothing? 1774 01:13:36,954 --> 01:13:38,831 Well, nothing is, uh... 1775 01:13:39,331 --> 01:13:40,999 we're even. Tie. 1776 01:13:41,083 --> 01:13:42,417 Status quo. 1777 01:13:42,501 --> 01:13:45,504 Uh, double would be, uh, I back off Sally, 1778 01:13:45,587 --> 01:13:46,839 drop out of the mayor's race. 1779 01:13:47,923 --> 01:13:49,299 You got it. 1780 01:13:49,383 --> 01:13:51,343 Okay. Go ahead. You hit. 1781 01:13:51,426 --> 01:13:53,512 But, you know... 1782 01:13:53,595 --> 01:13:56,557 if I'm gonna risk, uh, all that... 1783 01:13:58,183 --> 01:13:59,285 you gotta give me something. 1784 01:13:59,309 --> 01:14:00,894 You-you got to, uh... 1785 01:14:00,978 --> 01:14:03,063 Oh, I don't know, uh... 1786 01:14:03,522 --> 01:14:04,690 What? 1787 01:14:04,773 --> 01:14:06,233 One throw. 1788 01:14:06,316 --> 01:14:07,484 Throw? 1789 01:14:07,568 --> 01:14:11,029 Yeah, I-I get one throw, because I can't play you even. 1790 01:14:11,113 --> 01:14:13,490 You got local knowledge here. You're killing me. 1791 01:14:13,574 --> 01:14:15,284 He can't throw, either. 1792 01:14:15,367 --> 01:14:16,493 Bury him. 1793 01:14:18,078 --> 01:14:20,456 Okay, you get one throw, but... 1794 01:14:20,539 --> 01:14:23,625 if we tie... I win. 1795 01:14:23,709 --> 01:14:26,086 Well, you... drive a hard bargain. 1796 01:14:26,503 --> 01:14:27,713 Okay. 1797 01:14:37,931 --> 01:14:40,350 Yeah, baby. 1798 01:14:40,434 --> 01:14:42,227 There's the old form back. 1799 01:14:42,936 --> 01:14:44,229 Okay. 1800 01:14:55,782 --> 01:14:57,367 What? 1801 01:14:57,451 --> 01:14:59,203 Hey. Wh-What are you doing? 1802 01:14:59,870 --> 01:15:00,871 Hey! 1803 01:15:00,954 --> 01:15:02,039 What's that? 1804 01:15:04,166 --> 01:15:06,668 I said one throw, I didn't say whose ball. 1805 01:15:09,963 --> 01:15:11,840 You're out of bounds. 1806 01:15:11,924 --> 01:15:14,343 Click, click, click. 1807 01:15:18,180 --> 01:15:19,264 Morning, sir. 1808 01:15:19,348 --> 01:15:20,349 Everything all right? 1809 01:15:20,432 --> 01:15:21,767 Oh, just dandy. 1810 01:15:21,850 --> 01:15:24,895 I'm a ten handicap, and I shot a 142. 1811 01:15:24,978 --> 01:15:26,414 You and I have to have a serious talk 1812 01:15:26,438 --> 01:15:28,440 about my handicap, Miss Sutherland. 1813 01:15:28,982 --> 01:15:30,817 Now, Mr. President? 1814 01:15:31,443 --> 01:15:32,444 Later. 1815 01:15:32,527 --> 01:15:34,071 I heard you broke even. 1816 01:15:34,154 --> 01:15:35,405 At least you didn't lose. 1817 01:15:35,489 --> 01:15:37,824 The most humiliating round of my life. 1818 01:15:37,908 --> 01:15:39,743 Time to take the gloves off, Bert. 1819 01:15:39,826 --> 01:15:40,869 Let's bury this guy. 1820 01:15:40,953 --> 01:15:43,205 Well, sir, he's clean as a whistle. 1821 01:15:43,288 --> 01:15:44,915 Oh, come on. Surely he did something. 1822 01:15:44,998 --> 01:15:48,168 Uh, knocked up a local? Grew marijuana? 1823 01:15:48,252 --> 01:15:50,170 Hell, I grew marijuana. 1824 01:15:50,254 --> 01:15:53,131 We'll find dirt, Eagle, even if we have 1825 01:15:53,215 --> 01:15:54,424 to make it up. 1826 01:15:54,508 --> 01:15:55,508 Exactly. 1827 01:15:55,550 --> 01:15:56,885 I don't believe this. 1828 01:15:57,427 --> 01:15:58,804 What? 1829 01:16:00,264 --> 01:16:02,224 Mr. President... 1830 01:16:02,307 --> 01:16:04,726 I'm giving my notice. Your notice? 1831 01:16:04,810 --> 01:16:07,354 Yes. I can't work here any longer. 1832 01:16:07,437 --> 01:16:09,064 Are you drunk, for God's sakes? 1833 01:16:09,147 --> 01:16:11,066 We've been together 15 years. 1834 01:16:11,149 --> 01:16:12,359 Yes, exactly. 1835 01:16:12,442 --> 01:16:13,694 And in all that time, 1836 01:16:13,777 --> 01:16:16,196 you have never once gone negative, 1837 01:16:16,280 --> 01:16:17,948 at least not first. 1838 01:16:18,031 --> 01:16:22,953 And you have never, ever stooped to threats or... harassment. 1839 01:16:23,036 --> 01:16:25,080 Grace, he brought in Charlotte. 1840 01:16:25,163 --> 01:16:27,833 Charlotte. If that's not harassment, what is? 1841 01:16:27,916 --> 01:16:31,920 Mr. President, you have two days... 1842 01:16:32,004 --> 01:16:34,423 two hours and 21 minutes 1843 01:16:34,506 --> 01:16:36,675 until this election is over, 1844 01:16:36,758 --> 01:16:39,177 and then... I'm gone. 1845 01:16:43,223 --> 01:16:44,850 What's that? 1846 01:16:44,933 --> 01:16:46,518 I think she quit, sir. 1847 01:16:46,601 --> 01:16:47,894 Not that. That. 1848 01:16:49,187 --> 01:16:50,939 Oh, this? It's the new poll. 1849 01:16:51,023 --> 01:16:52,024 Five points. 1850 01:16:52,107 --> 01:16:53,108 Five? 1851 01:16:53,608 --> 01:16:54,608 Down. 1852 01:16:54,651 --> 01:16:56,862 What's the sample size? 1853 01:16:56,945 --> 01:16:59,031 Well, come on, Bert, what's the sample size? 1854 01:17:00,157 --> 01:17:01,491 Everybody. 1855 01:17:01,575 --> 01:17:04,202 Everybody? This is a disaster! 1856 01:17:04,286 --> 01:17:05,704 Not to pile on, sir, but I'm worried 1857 01:17:05,787 --> 01:17:07,039 about the book deals, too. 1858 01:17:07,122 --> 01:17:08,415 Aw, crap! 1859 01:17:08,498 --> 01:17:10,959 It's like some mythic Greek puzzle. 1860 01:17:11,043 --> 01:17:12,377 The riddle of the handyman. 1861 01:17:12,461 --> 01:17:14,296 Somewhere, the answer. 1862 01:17:14,379 --> 01:17:16,506 Sir, let's not panic. This isn't over. 1863 01:17:16,590 --> 01:17:17,883 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 1864 01:17:18,717 --> 01:17:20,260 What's wrong with us? 1865 01:17:20,344 --> 01:17:21,345 What? 1866 01:17:21,428 --> 01:17:23,680 I'll give it to him. It's that simple. 1867 01:17:23,764 --> 01:17:25,557 Wait, you don't mean quit. 1868 01:17:25,640 --> 01:17:27,267 You can't quit, Eagle. 1869 01:17:27,351 --> 01:17:29,561 No, I wouldn't be quitting. That's the beauty of it. 1870 01:17:29,644 --> 01:17:31,146 I'll-I'll say how qualified he is, 1871 01:17:31,229 --> 01:17:32,898 how he's the best man for the job, 1872 01:17:32,981 --> 01:17:35,859 and tonight at the debate, I'll throw him my support. 1873 01:17:35,942 --> 01:17:38,236 And if I win, I win, but if I lose, 1874 01:17:38,320 --> 01:17:40,655 it's because I made the most magnanimous gesture 1875 01:17:40,739 --> 01:17:42,616 in political history. 1876 01:17:42,699 --> 01:17:44,701 And people took my advice. 1877 01:17:45,661 --> 01:17:46,870 It's brilliant, sir. 1878 01:17:46,953 --> 01:17:48,121 Thank you. 1879 01:17:49,164 --> 01:17:51,124 And then I'd get the girl, uh... 1880 01:17:51,208 --> 01:17:53,001 Sally. 1881 01:17:53,627 --> 01:17:55,337 Sally. Right. 1882 01:18:01,301 --> 01:18:03,887 - Sally, hey, hi. - I'm-I'm here. 1883 01:18:04,805 --> 01:18:06,098 I'm-I'm... 1884 01:18:06,181 --> 01:18:08,350 getting ready for the debate. 1885 01:18:08,433 --> 01:18:09,768 You... want to come in? 1886 01:18:09,851 --> 01:18:10,852 No, I'm gonna get going. 1887 01:18:10,936 --> 01:18:12,771 See ya. 1888 01:18:12,854 --> 01:18:15,482 Well, hold it. What... what's going on? 1889 01:18:16,566 --> 01:18:17,859 What's all this stuff? 1890 01:18:19,277 --> 01:18:20,529 I, um... 1891 01:18:21,446 --> 01:18:23,698 I won Reuben in a putting contest, 1892 01:18:23,782 --> 01:18:25,784 so I have to make room for some of his stuff. 1893 01:18:25,867 --> 01:18:27,661 You... what? 1894 01:18:27,744 --> 01:18:29,121 I know. 1895 01:18:29,204 --> 01:18:31,039 I mean, can you imagine 1896 01:18:31,123 --> 01:18:34,042 someone actually playing golf to win a person? 1897 01:18:35,710 --> 01:18:36,753 No. Look... 1898 01:18:36,837 --> 01:18:38,839 No. Don't insult me by trying to defend this, 1899 01:18:38,922 --> 01:18:40,298 'cause if I let myself dwell on it, 1900 01:18:40,382 --> 01:18:42,050 I am really gonna just lose it. 1901 01:18:42,134 --> 01:18:45,429 But look, Sally, it wasn't... easy. I said no. 1902 01:18:45,512 --> 01:18:47,931 I just want to settle this amicably, okay? 1903 01:18:48,014 --> 01:18:49,391 There's your stuff. 1904 01:18:49,474 --> 01:18:51,143 My stuff? Well... 1905 01:18:51,226 --> 01:18:53,437 Hold on, hold on. This is yours. 1906 01:18:55,772 --> 01:18:56,940 Remember? 1907 01:18:57,023 --> 01:18:58,733 From me. 1908 01:18:58,817 --> 01:19:00,068 Christmas. 1909 01:19:01,695 --> 01:19:03,321 Don't you remember, it was... 1910 01:19:03,405 --> 01:19:04,865 that was the year the power went out. 1911 01:19:04,948 --> 01:19:07,242 We had that big snowstorm, and... 1912 01:19:07,325 --> 01:19:09,327 and we were so frustrated. 1913 01:19:09,411 --> 01:19:10,746 We couldn't turn this on 1914 01:19:10,829 --> 01:19:13,165 and watch it. 1915 01:19:13,248 --> 01:19:17,002 And the power came back, and we turned it on, and... 1916 01:19:18,753 --> 01:19:20,714 and you looked so beautiful 1917 01:19:21,548 --> 01:19:23,341 by the light of it. 1918 01:19:24,092 --> 01:19:25,510 And then we... 1919 01:19:26,887 --> 01:19:28,305 you know... 1920 01:19:29,598 --> 01:19:31,099 by the light of it. 1921 01:19:31,808 --> 01:19:33,351 I remember. 1922 01:19:35,437 --> 01:19:37,772 And then we stayed up all night and talked. 1923 01:19:37,856 --> 01:19:39,774 Yeah. Yeah. 1924 01:19:41,359 --> 01:19:43,278 Do you remember what we talked about? 1925 01:19:46,406 --> 01:19:47,407 No. 1926 01:19:48,575 --> 01:19:50,118 The future. 1927 01:19:51,119 --> 01:19:53,705 We talked about the future, Handy. 1928 01:20:00,545 --> 01:20:01,671 Sally, wait. 1929 01:20:04,257 --> 01:20:05,967 I don't want to wait anymore. 1930 01:20:07,427 --> 01:20:09,054 Good luck at the debate. 1931 01:20:09,137 --> 01:20:10,222 Are you coming? 1932 01:20:18,772 --> 01:20:20,649 She's not coming. 1933 01:20:37,332 --> 01:20:38,250 All right, guys, that's it. 1934 01:20:38,333 --> 01:20:40,585 Two minutes. We go in two minutes. 1935 01:20:43,463 --> 01:20:45,131 Two minutes, Mr. President. 1936 01:20:45,215 --> 01:20:46,466 Excuse me, sir. 1937 01:20:46,550 --> 01:20:48,486 My hands are shaking. I can't even go to the bathroom, 1938 01:20:48,510 --> 01:20:50,929 I'll pee all over the place. Relax, honey. 1939 01:20:51,012 --> 01:20:52,055 I'm not ready for this. 1940 01:20:52,138 --> 01:20:53,138 Two minutes, Handy. 1941 01:20:53,181 --> 01:20:54,683 Yeah. Thanks. Be on your toes. 1942 01:20:54,766 --> 01:20:56,893 Be sharp. You may have won the first debate, 1943 01:20:56,977 --> 01:20:58,603 but he's a python. 1944 01:20:58,687 --> 01:21:01,481 Gentlemen, I believe we're ready. 1945 01:21:02,190 --> 01:21:03,275 It's starting! 1946 01:21:03,358 --> 01:21:05,318 Live from the seaport town 1947 01:21:05,402 --> 01:21:08,196 of Mooseport, Maine, the mayoral debates 1948 01:21:08,280 --> 01:21:11,157 with your candidates, Monroe "Eagle" Cole 1949 01:21:11,241 --> 01:21:13,118 and Harold "Handy" Harrison. 1950 01:21:13,201 --> 01:21:16,705 We take you now to your moderator, Avery Hightower. 1951 01:21:19,583 --> 01:21:22,502 Good evening. I'm Avery Hightower. 1952 01:21:25,380 --> 01:21:26,673 I am honored 1953 01:21:26,756 --> 01:21:32,721 to moderate the second and final Mooseport mayoral debate. 1954 01:21:32,804 --> 01:21:34,180 All right! 1955 01:21:35,557 --> 01:21:37,976 As is tradition, we will start with a game 1956 01:21:38,059 --> 01:21:40,020 of Rock, Paper, Scissors. 1957 01:21:40,103 --> 01:21:41,688 Handy! Not scissors. 1958 01:21:42,814 --> 01:21:44,024 Gentlemen. 1959 01:21:47,444 --> 01:21:49,279 Uh, Mr. Hightower, could I... 1960 01:21:49,362 --> 01:21:50,780 I'd like to make a statement first, 1961 01:21:50,864 --> 01:21:52,073 if that's okay. 1962 01:21:52,866 --> 01:21:54,034 Mr. President? 1963 01:21:54,117 --> 01:21:56,661 Well, that's fine. Uh, uh, I have a statement also. 1964 01:21:56,745 --> 01:21:59,831 Just... Okay? Thank you. All right, yes. Gentlemen. 1965 01:22:02,584 --> 01:22:04,210 Hey. Hi, everybody. 1966 01:22:04,294 --> 01:22:05,712 Hi! Hi, Handy! 1967 01:22:05,795 --> 01:22:08,340 I just want to say one thing. 1968 01:22:08,423 --> 01:22:10,425 I'm a little embarrassed 1969 01:22:10,508 --> 01:22:13,053 about the way I've been running my campaign. 1970 01:22:13,136 --> 01:22:15,138 Aw... 1971 01:22:15,221 --> 01:22:16,348 An election, 1972 01:22:16,431 --> 01:22:19,726 it shouldn't be about personalities, you know? 1973 01:22:19,809 --> 01:22:20,852 Or... 1974 01:22:21,269 --> 01:22:22,437 or golf... 1975 01:22:23,855 --> 01:22:24,939 Or who we're dating. 1976 01:22:27,233 --> 01:22:29,944 Sally, if you're watching this... 1977 01:22:31,154 --> 01:22:34,783 I was wrong to bring our relationship into this. 1978 01:22:36,076 --> 01:22:37,285 I'm sorry. 1979 01:22:37,369 --> 01:22:39,412 I guess I did it again. 1980 01:22:39,496 --> 01:22:41,873 I just brought our relationship into it again. 1981 01:22:43,333 --> 01:22:47,087 S-So I'm sorry for that... too. 1982 01:22:47,170 --> 01:22:49,714 I guess what I wanna say, folks, is... 1983 01:22:49,798 --> 01:22:51,883 I think an election should be about the town. 1984 01:22:51,966 --> 01:22:54,386 It should be about... what we need 1985 01:22:54,469 --> 01:22:57,639 and-and how we can work together to get things done. 1986 01:22:57,722 --> 01:23:00,475 The president can do great things for us. 1987 01:23:01,643 --> 01:23:03,395 Son of a bitch! 1988 01:23:03,478 --> 01:23:04,854 Having him as a mayor, 1989 01:23:04,938 --> 01:23:07,440 that's an opportunity that we can't pass up, folks. 1990 01:23:07,524 --> 01:23:09,609 Yeah! That's right! 1991 01:23:09,693 --> 01:23:11,569 Tomorrow morning, 1992 01:23:11,653 --> 01:23:13,988 I'm going to the polls, 1993 01:23:14,072 --> 01:23:17,033 and I'm casting my vote for the president, 1994 01:23:17,117 --> 01:23:19,285 Monroe Cole, 1995 01:23:19,369 --> 01:23:22,163 for the mayor of Mooseport. 1996 01:23:27,919 --> 01:23:29,754 Son of a bitch! 1997 01:23:32,006 --> 01:23:34,259 Ladies and gentlemen, 1998 01:23:34,342 --> 01:23:38,346 what you've just seen is a selfless act. 1999 01:23:40,765 --> 01:23:42,642 Handy Harrison... 2000 01:23:42,726 --> 01:23:45,395 is Mooseport. 2001 01:23:47,731 --> 01:23:50,400 He is Mooseport. 2002 01:23:50,483 --> 01:23:52,277 He knows its problems. 2003 01:23:52,360 --> 01:23:54,571 He knows its pulse. 2004 01:23:54,654 --> 01:23:56,364 He knows its plumbing. 2005 01:23:57,782 --> 01:24:00,785 As only a person who lives here can. 2006 01:24:00,869 --> 01:24:02,787 So tomorrow morning... 2007 01:24:04,372 --> 01:24:06,249 I'm going to the polls, 2008 01:24:06,332 --> 01:24:08,293 and I'm walking into that booth 2009 01:24:08,376 --> 01:24:11,463 and opening that ballot, that simple piece of paper 2010 01:24:11,546 --> 01:24:14,716 that our forefathers gave their lives to secure... 2011 01:24:16,676 --> 01:24:19,387 and I'm casting my vote for Harrison. 2012 01:24:19,471 --> 01:24:21,055 Harold "Handy" Harrison! 2013 01:24:21,139 --> 01:24:22,223 Let's hear it. 2014 01:24:31,316 --> 01:24:33,067 Man, he's good. 2015 01:24:39,032 --> 01:24:40,366 Well, what you've just seen, 2016 01:24:40,450 --> 01:24:43,161 ladies and gentlemen, is politics at its finest, 2017 01:24:43,244 --> 01:24:44,954 politics as it should be. 2018 01:24:46,539 --> 01:24:48,082 You did good. 2019 01:24:48,500 --> 01:24:49,501 Harrison. 2020 01:24:49,584 --> 01:24:52,003 Hey, that was something, Mr. President. 2021 01:24:52,086 --> 01:24:53,338 You son of a bitch! 2022 01:24:53,421 --> 01:24:55,673 You knew I was gonna do that, so you did it first! 2023 01:24:55,757 --> 01:24:58,009 I didn't know that. How could I know that? You bugged me! 2024 01:24:58,092 --> 01:25:00,970 And what we have just witnessed here on this rare night... 2025 01:25:01,054 --> 01:25:02,055 Hey! Bugged you? 2026 01:25:02,138 --> 01:25:03,365 You bugged me! All right, Harrison, back off! 2027 01:25:03,389 --> 01:25:04,390 I'm not doing anything! 2028 01:25:04,474 --> 01:25:05,517 Is a show of decency. 2029 01:25:05,600 --> 01:25:06,643 Let me go! 2030 01:25:06,726 --> 01:25:07,936 A show of inclusiveness. 2031 01:25:08,019 --> 01:25:09,354 Ow, let go of my arm! 2032 01:25:10,522 --> 01:25:12,816 A show of mutual respect. 2033 01:25:12,899 --> 01:25:14,818 Gentlemen! Gentlemen! Gentlemen! 2034 01:25:14,901 --> 01:25:16,194 Let go of me! 2035 01:25:16,277 --> 01:25:18,321 It's time to follow their example. 2036 01:25:18,404 --> 01:25:19,447 It is time to... 2037 01:25:20,615 --> 01:25:22,242 Let go of me! 2038 01:25:24,953 --> 01:25:26,162 Mr. President, are you okay? 2039 01:25:26,246 --> 01:25:28,414 I'm gonna get it off, Mr. President. 2040 01:25:30,667 --> 01:25:32,043 Get it off me! 2041 01:25:32,126 --> 01:25:34,546 So, Danny, you see that debate last night? 2042 01:25:34,629 --> 01:25:36,714 Did I? Was anybody hurt? What? 2043 01:25:36,798 --> 01:25:38,025 Well, miraculously not, apparently. 2044 01:25:38,049 --> 01:25:39,384 Only minor bruises and abrasions. 2045 01:25:39,467 --> 01:25:41,187 Any idea what the heck happened back there? 2046 01:25:41,219 --> 01:25:43,579 Well, they're saying it was a freak accident, little buddy. 2047 01:25:43,638 --> 01:25:44,681 Yeah, very freaky. 2048 01:25:44,764 --> 01:25:46,683 Apparently, the stage rigging just snapped 2049 01:25:46,766 --> 01:25:49,435 and fell on the candidates while they were shaking hands. 2050 01:25:49,519 --> 01:25:51,437 Wow. Well, you know what we say... 2051 01:25:51,521 --> 01:25:52,689 It's Mooseport. 2052 01:25:52,772 --> 01:25:54,691 Polls open in 20 minutes, Mr. President. 2053 01:25:54,774 --> 01:25:56,214 How about a little music to vote by? 2054 01:25:56,276 --> 01:25:57,276 Good idea. 2055 01:26:04,951 --> 01:26:05,994 Morning, sir. 2056 01:26:06,077 --> 01:26:07,161 Morning, Mr. President. 2057 01:26:15,712 --> 01:26:18,965 Cloud, uh, pull over here, will you? 2058 01:26:29,559 --> 01:26:30,977 How's your nose? 2059 01:26:33,271 --> 01:26:34,355 It's okay. 2060 01:26:34,439 --> 01:26:37,358 How's your lip and your back? 2061 01:26:37,442 --> 01:26:40,904 It's just the lip and, uh, it's fine. 2062 01:26:42,363 --> 01:26:45,116 Well, I just assumed your back hurt, 2063 01:26:45,199 --> 01:26:48,536 'cause, you know, Irma jumping on it. 2064 01:26:56,628 --> 01:27:01,090 Well... see you at the poll. 2065 01:27:01,174 --> 01:27:02,342 You want to hit a few? 2066 01:27:04,260 --> 01:27:05,929 What, uh, just hit them in the water? 2067 01:27:06,012 --> 01:27:08,181 Yeah. It's, uh... 2068 01:27:08,264 --> 01:27:10,433 Martha's into scuba and in the spring, 2069 01:27:10,516 --> 01:27:13,811 she puts on a wet suit and she goes and gets them. 2070 01:27:13,895 --> 01:27:17,398 Somehow or another I can't picture Martha in a wet suit. 2071 01:27:17,482 --> 01:27:19,108 Yeah, well, you're lucky. 2072 01:27:19,192 --> 01:27:20,693 I can't not picture it. 2073 01:27:22,237 --> 01:27:23,488 All right. 2074 01:27:32,872 --> 01:27:34,791 Oh! You topped, pulled 2075 01:27:34,874 --> 01:27:38,002 and hooked it all in one. 2076 01:27:38,086 --> 01:27:41,965 Here. Let me show you. Mr. President, you've shaken a lot of hands. 2077 01:27:42,048 --> 01:27:43,049 You... 2078 01:27:44,926 --> 01:27:47,595 Shake hands with the club. Like this? 2079 01:27:47,679 --> 01:27:50,515 Yes. Now, just look at the ball 2080 01:27:50,598 --> 01:27:53,893 and picture like it's the former First Lady. 2081 01:27:54,477 --> 01:27:55,937 Just whack it. 2082 01:27:58,481 --> 01:28:00,274 You bloodsucking vampire! 2083 01:28:01,985 --> 01:28:03,319 Wow! 2084 01:28:03,403 --> 01:28:05,363 You two had issues. 2085 01:28:05,446 --> 01:28:07,365 Oh, Jesus. 2086 01:28:09,826 --> 01:28:11,369 So, uh... 2087 01:28:12,412 --> 01:28:14,330 How come you didn't ask her? 2088 01:28:14,414 --> 01:28:15,415 Ask her what? 2089 01:28:15,498 --> 01:28:16,541 You know. 2090 01:28:20,753 --> 01:28:22,839 I don't know. I probably should've. 2091 01:28:24,632 --> 01:28:26,217 Scared, I guess. 2092 01:28:26,300 --> 01:28:28,970 Well, marriage is a scary thing. 2093 01:28:29,053 --> 01:28:30,805 I'd be the first one to tell you that. 2094 01:28:30,888 --> 01:28:36,102 But once in a while, there comes along that special girl. 2095 01:28:36,185 --> 01:28:38,396 No, I mean, that's just it. 2096 01:28:38,479 --> 01:28:40,148 I mean, she is special. 2097 01:28:41,274 --> 01:28:48,156 I just figured eventually she'll find somebody else. 2098 01:28:48,239 --> 01:28:49,532 And, you know, you always... 2099 01:28:49,615 --> 01:28:53,453 you always hope that next guy will be some loser... 2100 01:28:55,538 --> 01:28:56,748 not the president. 2101 01:29:01,544 --> 01:29:06,841 Handy, on the 16th hole of our match, you laid up. 2102 01:29:06,924 --> 01:29:08,134 Yeah. Yeah. 2103 01:29:08,217 --> 01:29:09,385 I remember, I did. 2104 01:29:09,469 --> 01:29:10,928 You played it safe. 2105 01:29:11,012 --> 01:29:12,638 So? You ended up in the water. 2106 01:29:12,722 --> 01:29:16,017 I never would've been president of the United States 2107 01:29:16,100 --> 01:29:17,727 if I'd have laid up. 2108 01:29:29,489 --> 01:29:32,033 Sometimes you just gotta go for the green. 2109 01:29:35,286 --> 01:29:36,412 Let's go vote. 2110 01:29:41,167 --> 01:29:42,293 Out of the way! Here he is! 2111 01:29:42,376 --> 01:29:43,437 Here he comes! Out of the way! 2112 01:29:43,461 --> 01:29:44,646 Hank, get them out of the way! 2113 01:29:44,670 --> 01:29:45,713 Hold 'em back! 2114 01:29:47,757 --> 01:29:49,175 Over here please, Mr. President! 2115 01:29:51,552 --> 01:29:53,721 Good morning, ladies and gentlemen... 2116 01:29:55,306 --> 01:29:57,266 No, no comments today. There'll be no questions. 2117 01:29:57,350 --> 01:29:58,601 There'll be plenty of chances 2118 01:29:58,684 --> 01:30:00,537 to get some wonderful photos as soon as he's ready. 2119 01:30:00,561 --> 01:30:01,771 Please, one picture! 2120 01:30:06,567 --> 01:30:09,237 Right here, the pageantry of... 2121 01:30:09,320 --> 01:30:11,405 of democracy at work. That's why we... 2122 01:30:17,120 --> 01:30:19,163 Once a politician... 2123 01:30:25,878 --> 01:30:28,131 Always a politician. 2124 01:30:28,214 --> 01:30:29,674 It's ten minutes past the hour, 2125 01:30:29,757 --> 01:30:31,050 and there are 20 minutes left 2126 01:30:31,134 --> 01:30:34,011 before the polls close in Mooseport, Maine. 2127 01:30:34,095 --> 01:30:35,513 With the former president's campaign 2128 01:30:35,596 --> 01:30:38,850 spending millions on TV, radio and print advertising, 2129 01:30:38,933 --> 01:30:42,562 it's an amazing feat that Handy Harrison's grassroots campaign 2130 01:30:42,645 --> 01:30:44,355 still has them neck and neck... 2131 01:30:44,438 --> 01:30:48,109 It was so beautiful. 2132 01:30:59,287 --> 01:31:00,288 Hello. 2133 01:31:01,747 --> 01:31:03,374 Spectacular, isn't it? 2134 01:31:03,457 --> 01:31:04,457 I was thinking about... 2135 01:31:04,500 --> 01:31:06,627 For once, don't talk, please. 2136 01:31:06,711 --> 01:31:09,088 What? Just listen. Okay? 2137 01:31:09,172 --> 01:31:10,423 Can you do that? 2138 01:31:12,884 --> 01:31:16,929 A long while back, my mom asked me what I saw in you, 2139 01:31:17,013 --> 01:31:19,348 and you probably find it hard to believe 2140 01:31:19,432 --> 01:31:22,727 that anybody could ask such a thing, but she did. 2141 01:31:25,021 --> 01:31:28,357 I see a man I admire, I told her. 2142 01:31:28,441 --> 01:31:33,154 A flawed man, certainly, but a man with principles. 2143 01:31:34,530 --> 01:31:36,490 Since this Handy thing, 2144 01:31:37,783 --> 01:31:43,706 I've seen a man who only cares about ego and power. 2145 01:31:43,789 --> 01:31:47,168 A man who will stoop to anything 2146 01:31:47,251 --> 01:31:49,921 to win a position he doesn't even want 2147 01:31:50,004 --> 01:31:53,257 from someone he probably shouldn't even beat. 2148 01:31:53,341 --> 01:31:57,845 And... it angers me. And it-it upsets me. 2149 01:31:57,929 --> 01:31:59,764 Oh, and mostly, it just makes me sad. 2150 01:31:59,847 --> 01:32:00,890 Grace, look... 2151 01:32:00,973 --> 01:32:04,977 Because you used to be better than that, Monroe. 2152 01:32:05,061 --> 01:32:06,729 You really were. 2153 01:32:17,198 --> 01:32:20,660 And that is no handshake, you son of a bitch. 2154 01:32:33,714 --> 01:32:34,924 Sugar, Mr. President? 2155 01:32:35,716 --> 01:32:37,426 Three, please. 2156 01:32:37,510 --> 01:32:38,844 No, no, no. 2157 01:32:39,387 --> 01:32:40,388 One. 2158 01:32:40,471 --> 01:32:41,847 Good morning, Mr. President. 2159 01:32:41,931 --> 01:32:43,099 Good morning. 2160 01:32:43,599 --> 01:32:44,600 Where's Grace? 2161 01:32:44,684 --> 01:32:45,810 I don't know, sir. 2162 01:32:45,893 --> 01:32:47,353 Could you find her, please? 2163 01:32:47,436 --> 01:32:48,813 Yes, sir. 2164 01:32:48,896 --> 01:32:50,147 Let's go. 2165 01:32:52,316 --> 01:32:54,318 Eagle, we gotta get moving. 2166 01:32:54,402 --> 01:32:56,946 They want you down in town for the announcement. 2167 01:32:57,029 --> 01:32:58,322 Announcement? 2168 01:32:58,406 --> 01:33:00,074 I can't expose myself to an announcement 2169 01:33:00,157 --> 01:33:02,576 without knowing who won. They won't tell me, Eagle. 2170 01:33:02,660 --> 01:33:05,371 I've done everything short of bribing them 2171 01:33:05,454 --> 01:33:07,790 with a year's supply of beer and night-crawlers, 2172 01:33:07,873 --> 01:33:10,293 but I'll get down there and work on it. 2173 01:33:10,376 --> 01:33:13,129 You get on that toga and get down to that circus, Eagle. 2174 01:33:13,212 --> 01:33:14,338 Please, sir. 2175 01:33:17,091 --> 01:33:19,135 Sally, um... 2176 01:33:20,803 --> 01:33:22,305 Handy, you back here? 2177 01:33:24,098 --> 01:33:25,016 Uh, hey. 2178 01:33:25,099 --> 01:33:26,892 It's time, man. Yeah, I know. 2179 01:33:26,976 --> 01:33:28,894 Come on. Don't you want to find out if you won? 2180 01:33:28,978 --> 01:33:30,438 Or lost? Badly? 2181 01:33:30,521 --> 01:33:31,689 I'm gonna... Yeah. Go ahead. 2182 01:33:31,772 --> 01:33:33,816 Nah, I'll wait for you. I'm gonna meet you there. 2183 01:33:33,899 --> 01:33:34,984 I want to. No, go. 2184 01:33:35,067 --> 01:33:36,110 You're my ride, man. 2185 01:33:36,193 --> 01:33:37,194 Come on! 2186 01:33:37,278 --> 01:33:39,196 Okay. All right. Let's go. 2187 01:33:47,997 --> 01:33:50,916 In a few moments, former President Cole 2188 01:33:51,000 --> 01:33:53,127 and Harold "Handy" Harrison are due to arrive. 2189 01:33:53,210 --> 01:33:55,796 Will big politics and big money carry the day? 2190 01:33:55,880 --> 01:33:57,465 Or will the little man prevail? 2191 01:33:57,548 --> 01:33:58,650 - We shall soon see. - Testing. 2192 01:33:58,674 --> 01:33:59,800 Testing. Testing. 2193 01:33:59,884 --> 01:34:01,802 Oh. Uh, we're just about ready to start. 2194 01:34:01,886 --> 01:34:04,930 And, uh... I think I see the president coming now! 2195 01:34:05,556 --> 01:34:07,224 Woo-hoo! 2196 01:34:09,143 --> 01:34:10,186 And... Oh, there's Handy. 2197 01:34:11,604 --> 01:34:12,521 Hey. 2198 01:34:12,605 --> 01:34:14,607 Hey. Did you see Sally? No. 2199 01:34:14,690 --> 01:34:17,151 When you see her, just let me know, okay? Okay. Okay. 2200 01:34:17,234 --> 01:34:20,279 Mr. President, Handy, please come up here, okay? 2201 01:34:20,363 --> 01:34:22,156 Sir, the yellow speech is if you win. 2202 01:34:22,239 --> 01:34:25,242 Okay. The blue one is if you, uh... 2203 01:34:26,619 --> 01:34:29,080 Should I get out of your eye line, sir? 2204 01:34:29,914 --> 01:34:31,957 Ah, come on, Bullard. 2205 01:34:32,875 --> 01:34:33,918 Hey, how you doing? 2206 01:34:34,001 --> 01:34:35,001 How you doing? 2207 01:34:47,181 --> 01:34:48,391 Handy, you're the man! 2208 01:34:48,474 --> 01:34:49,725 We need you, Mr. President! 2209 01:34:49,809 --> 01:34:52,978 In the 240-year history of our fair Mooseport, 2210 01:34:53,062 --> 01:34:56,982 there has never been a more exciting mayoral race. 2211 01:34:59,902 --> 01:35:03,072 Mr. President. Handy. 2212 01:35:03,155 --> 01:35:07,118 My fellow citizens, the new mayor of Mooseport is... 2213 01:35:10,704 --> 01:35:11,997 Monroe Cole! 2214 01:35:18,879 --> 01:35:20,840 Congratulations. Oh. Thank you. 2215 01:35:24,301 --> 01:35:25,636 As I'm sure you all know, 2216 01:35:25,719 --> 01:35:28,681 this was Mooseport's largest election turnout ever. 2217 01:35:28,764 --> 01:35:29,807 How big a margin? 2218 01:35:29,890 --> 01:35:31,016 Tight. Real tight. 2219 01:35:31,100 --> 01:35:33,018 But the win's the thing. 2220 01:35:33,102 --> 01:35:34,353 It was so close. 2221 01:35:34,437 --> 01:35:35,896 Well, that's something, right? 2222 01:35:35,980 --> 01:35:36,897 Yeah. Yeah. 2223 01:35:36,981 --> 01:35:41,444 In the end, the president won by one vote! 2224 01:35:41,527 --> 01:35:43,487 You won by one vote. 2225 01:35:43,571 --> 01:35:46,782 One vote? Oh, my God. 2226 01:35:46,866 --> 01:35:48,826 It doesn't get any closer. 2227 01:35:48,909 --> 01:35:49,785 Wow. 2228 01:35:49,869 --> 01:35:51,620 Ladies and gentlemen... 2229 01:35:51,704 --> 01:35:52,746 One vote. 2230 01:35:52,830 --> 01:35:55,708 The 23rd mayor of Mooseport, 2231 01:35:55,791 --> 01:35:58,169 Monroe "Eagle" Cole! 2232 01:36:01,338 --> 01:36:02,882 Thank you, Morris. 2233 01:36:04,759 --> 01:36:06,385 Thank you, everybody. 2234 01:36:07,386 --> 01:36:10,973 Ladies and gentlemen, once again, 2235 01:36:11,056 --> 01:36:16,520 the great American electoral process has... 2236 01:36:24,737 --> 01:36:27,031 Folks, you know, 2237 01:36:27,907 --> 01:36:28,991 a little while ago, 2238 01:36:29,074 --> 01:36:31,660 a person who has been with me for years, 2239 01:36:31,744 --> 01:36:34,830 a person who I trust like no one else, 2240 01:36:34,914 --> 01:36:38,542 reminded me of my principles. 2241 01:36:38,626 --> 01:36:40,127 Shook some sense into me. 2242 01:36:40,211 --> 01:36:42,254 So, I have a confession to make. 2243 01:36:42,338 --> 01:36:46,383 I said that I would vote for Handy. 2244 01:36:46,467 --> 01:36:48,260 I-I didn't. 2245 01:36:48,344 --> 01:36:49,553 I voted for myself. 2246 01:36:54,767 --> 01:36:58,521 So my first act as mayor is to turn the job over 2247 01:36:58,604 --> 01:37:01,148 to the rightful winner, Handy Harrison. 2248 01:37:01,232 --> 01:37:02,650 Handy, come on over here. 2249 01:37:02,733 --> 01:37:04,360 Let's hear it for Handy. 2250 01:37:08,447 --> 01:37:10,115 Whoo! All right! 2251 01:37:10,199 --> 01:37:11,450 Come on. 2252 01:37:12,243 --> 01:37:13,243 Yeah! 2253 01:37:13,285 --> 01:37:14,787 Mr. President... uh... 2254 01:37:14,870 --> 01:37:16,539 Attaboy, Handy! 2255 01:37:16,622 --> 01:37:19,083 Folks, I have a confession to make, also. 2256 01:37:24,004 --> 01:37:25,714 I voted for myself too. 2257 01:37:25,798 --> 01:37:27,925 What? 2258 01:37:28,008 --> 01:37:31,303 You won this thing fair and square, Mr. President. 2259 01:37:31,387 --> 01:37:32,596 You... 2260 01:37:32,680 --> 01:37:35,641 So my first act as mayor is to turn the job back over 2261 01:37:35,724 --> 01:37:38,978 to the rightful winner, Mr. Monroe Cole! 2262 01:37:39,061 --> 01:37:41,897 Yeah! Yeah! 2263 01:37:44,817 --> 01:37:46,527 There's no beating you, is there? 2264 01:37:48,070 --> 01:37:49,196 Not on this one, sir. 2265 01:37:50,906 --> 01:37:52,032 All right, I accept. 2266 01:37:58,163 --> 01:37:59,540 No, he won. 2267 01:38:00,416 --> 01:38:01,416 Well, tell Harper Collins 2268 01:38:01,458 --> 01:38:03,294 Random House is back up to 20 mil. 2269 01:38:03,377 --> 01:38:05,379 Yes, please do. 2270 01:38:06,672 --> 01:38:08,966 And tell them to send me half. 2271 01:38:09,049 --> 01:38:11,677 See you in DC. 2272 01:38:17,683 --> 01:38:19,143 Any sign of her? Uh, yes, sir. 2273 01:38:19,226 --> 01:38:21,121 Agent Cloud found her, sir. She's at the airport. 2274 01:38:21,145 --> 01:38:22,313 Airport? Yes, sir. 2275 01:38:22,396 --> 01:38:23,897 Come on. Let's get moving. You got it. 2276 01:38:26,275 --> 01:38:28,777 Look, Sally, uh... 2277 01:38:28,861 --> 01:38:30,779 I don't know... Uh... 2278 01:38:30,863 --> 01:38:32,448 Hey, Handy. Nice try. 2279 01:38:32,531 --> 01:38:33,717 Oh, thank you. Thank you, Jackie. 2280 01:38:33,741 --> 01:38:36,076 Hi, Handy. Hi, Sophie. Hi. 2281 01:38:39,455 --> 01:38:43,459 Look, Sally, how you doing? 2282 01:38:44,668 --> 01:38:48,213 God, just-just do it. Just do it. 2283 01:38:48,297 --> 01:38:49,590 Hey, Handy! 2284 01:38:49,673 --> 01:38:51,175 I just saw what you did! 2285 01:38:51,258 --> 01:38:52,468 I couldn't believe it! 2286 01:38:52,551 --> 01:38:53,903 Thank you. Thank you, Reuben. Yeah. 2287 01:38:53,927 --> 01:38:55,763 I voted for you! 2288 01:38:57,056 --> 01:38:59,016 Oh, well, well, you don't even like me. Sorry. 2289 01:39:04,063 --> 01:39:06,231 Huh? What? 2290 01:39:06,315 --> 01:39:07,358 What? 2291 01:39:08,901 --> 01:39:10,152 No! 2292 01:39:10,235 --> 01:39:11,153 No. No. 2293 01:39:11,236 --> 01:39:12,321 Please. Please. Please. 2294 01:39:12,404 --> 01:39:13,864 No! 2295 01:39:15,866 --> 01:39:18,369 Oh... Nice! 2296 01:39:27,211 --> 01:39:28,462 Ladies and gentlemen, 2297 01:39:28,545 --> 01:39:33,050 Trans Capital Flight 27 to Dulles has been delayed. 2298 01:39:33,133 --> 01:39:34,426 Please bear with us, 2299 01:39:34,510 --> 01:39:36,845 and we'll let you know as soon as we know. 2300 01:39:37,846 --> 01:39:38,847 Grace? 2301 01:39:40,307 --> 01:39:42,309 Grace. Here, Mr. President. 2302 01:39:46,772 --> 01:39:47,815 What are you doing here? 2303 01:39:47,898 --> 01:39:50,234 I gave my notice, remember? 2304 01:39:50,317 --> 01:39:51,652 Oh, Grace. Come back. 2305 01:39:51,735 --> 01:39:52,945 No. 2306 01:39:56,949 --> 01:39:57,949 No. 2307 01:39:57,991 --> 01:40:01,954 Grace... look at me. 2308 01:40:02,037 --> 01:40:03,497 Swear to God, I'll never have more 2309 01:40:03,580 --> 01:40:05,433 than one sugar in my coffee for the rest of my life, 2310 01:40:05,457 --> 01:40:06,500 if you'll have me. 2311 01:40:08,001 --> 01:40:09,503 And no salt. 2312 01:40:11,422 --> 01:40:14,383 The former President of the United States 2313 01:40:14,466 --> 01:40:16,051 is down on his knees. 2314 01:40:26,687 --> 01:40:28,772 And that's no handshake, either. 2315 01:40:30,149 --> 01:40:32,443 I'll go down on my knees again. Uh, no. No, no. 2316 01:40:35,154 --> 01:40:37,406 You certainly took your time. 2317 01:40:37,489 --> 01:40:39,450 What if my plane had left? 2318 01:40:39,533 --> 01:40:41,618 Oh, you haven't heard. 2319 01:40:41,702 --> 01:40:43,412 I'm the mayor now. 2320 01:40:45,581 --> 01:40:46,999 This is Cloud. Clear the flight. 2321 01:40:47,082 --> 01:40:48,751 Turns out that I have a little bit of pull 2322 01:40:48,834 --> 01:40:50,169 here at this airport now. 2323 01:40:51,044 --> 01:40:53,005 Flight 27 passengers, 2324 01:40:53,088 --> 01:40:55,966 we've now been cleared for takeoff. 2325 01:40:56,049 --> 01:40:59,094 Congratulations, Mr. President. 2326 01:40:59,178 --> 01:41:01,680 That would be, "Congratulations, 2327 01:41:01,764 --> 01:41:03,307 "Mr. Mayor." 2328 01:41:04,933 --> 01:41:06,393 Congratulations, Mr. Mayor. 2329 01:41:07,019 --> 01:41:07,936 Great. 2330 01:41:08,020 --> 01:41:09,146 Congratulations, Mr. Mayor. 2331 01:41:11,648 --> 01:41:13,567 Congratulations, Mr. Mayor. 2332 01:41:13,650 --> 01:41:14,818 Come on. 2333 01:41:19,531 --> 01:41:21,491 Are you doing the plumbing for the whole town now? 2334 01:41:22,493 --> 01:41:23,911 No. I came to see you. 2335 01:41:23,994 --> 01:41:25,370 Through the drain? 2336 01:41:25,454 --> 01:41:27,706 Just... one second. 2337 01:41:31,168 --> 01:41:32,753 Look, Sally, 2338 01:41:32,836 --> 01:41:33,712 I was... 2339 01:41:33,796 --> 01:41:35,756 I was gonna prepare this whole speech. 2340 01:41:36,089 --> 01:41:37,090 What? 2341 01:41:42,095 --> 01:41:44,348 I was gonna prepare this whole speech, okay? 2342 01:41:44,431 --> 01:41:45,474 But I think, you know, 2343 01:41:45,557 --> 01:41:47,935 it's better if I just say this out of the moment. 2344 01:41:48,018 --> 01:41:49,019 All right. 2345 01:41:49,937 --> 01:41:51,688 The truth is, you're beautiful. 2346 01:41:51,772 --> 01:41:54,900 And you're smart and wonderful. 2347 01:41:55,234 --> 01:41:57,152 And... 2348 01:41:57,236 --> 01:42:00,155 And I'm not... I'm not. 2349 01:42:00,239 --> 01:42:01,156 Handy, I... 2350 01:42:01,240 --> 01:42:04,117 Hang on, 'cause I'm-I'm in the moment now. 2351 01:42:04,201 --> 01:42:06,495 This whole thing, it's-it's made me take 2352 01:42:06,578 --> 01:42:08,330 a-a pretty hard look at myself. 2353 01:42:08,413 --> 01:42:12,125 And... I'm not smart, and-and I'm not beautiful. 2354 01:42:12,209 --> 01:42:14,920 But... but hell, I just beat 2355 01:42:15,003 --> 01:42:17,548 the most popular president in history. 2356 01:42:17,631 --> 01:42:20,717 So, maybe I'm okay. 2357 01:42:20,801 --> 01:42:25,013 Almost. You almost beat him. 2358 01:42:25,097 --> 01:42:28,600 Sally, between me and you, just our little secret, 2359 01:42:28,684 --> 01:42:30,185 I beat him. 2360 01:42:30,269 --> 01:42:31,579 I... do you think I would of voted for myself 2361 01:42:31,603 --> 01:42:33,397 after I told the whole town I wouldn't? 2362 01:42:35,107 --> 01:42:36,316 You gave it away? 2363 01:42:37,359 --> 01:42:38,235 Why? 2364 01:42:38,318 --> 01:42:41,780 Because-because he needs it. I don't. I... 2365 01:42:45,617 --> 01:42:46,869 I only need you. 2366 01:42:48,620 --> 01:42:49,913 And that's... 2367 01:42:50,581 --> 01:42:52,124 that's my speech. 2368 01:42:53,250 --> 01:42:54,626 Oh, Handy. 2369 01:42:56,837 --> 01:42:58,505 Oh, hold on. I got... 2370 01:42:58,589 --> 01:43:00,048 I got you something. 2371 01:43:00,716 --> 01:43:02,134 Dirt? No. It's... 2372 01:43:03,343 --> 01:43:04,511 It's-it's dirty, but... 2373 01:43:07,180 --> 01:43:08,932 Look, I don't know how you feel. 2374 01:43:17,649 --> 01:43:19,192 Is that a "yes" kiss? 2375 01:43:19,276 --> 01:43:20,611 Yes. 2376 01:43:22,738 --> 01:43:24,615 It's dirty now, but it's-it's really... 2377 01:43:24,698 --> 01:43:26,325 It's beautiful. It's beautiful. 2378 01:43:26,408 --> 01:43:28,076 It's, uh, big and... 2379 01:43:28,160 --> 01:43:30,537 That's not just one diamond. There's diamonds on the side. 2380 01:43:30,621 --> 01:43:31,914 It's diamonds and mud. 2381 01:43:31,997 --> 01:43:33,540 Oh, did I say in the speech... 2382 01:43:33,624 --> 01:43:36,960 I forgot the whole part about how much I love you. 2383 01:43:37,044 --> 01:43:39,171 I didn't say it, but... Yes, I didn't... 2384 01:43:39,254 --> 01:43:40,255 You know, there's no... 2385 01:43:40,339 --> 01:43:41,798 I didn't make a word thing out of it, 2386 01:43:41,882 --> 01:43:44,593 but you can't even measure it. It's like... 2387 01:43:44,676 --> 01:43:46,470 Like, if you take the sun... 2388 01:43:46,553 --> 01:43:49,139 You can take the heat from that sun and you... 2389 01:43:49,222 --> 01:43:54,645 If you put all of that in a love container, you... 2390 01:43:55,812 --> 01:43:56,897 Got it. You get it? 2391 01:43:56,980 --> 01:43:57,981 Yes. 2392 01:43:58,065 --> 01:44:00,609 But you said yes anyway. So this is all extra. 2393 01:44:00,692 --> 01:44:02,569 It's like a bonus to it. But it's... 2394 01:44:02,653 --> 01:44:04,988 My heart's beating fast. Let's go. 2395 01:44:05,072 --> 01:44:06,239 Plunger, come on. 2396 01:44:06,323 --> 01:44:07,240 Come on. 2397 01:44:07,324 --> 01:44:09,368 How'd it get in the sewer? Oh, that's... 2398 01:44:09,451 --> 01:44:10,827 You know, things just happen to me. 2399 01:44:10,911 --> 01:44:11,954 Yeah. 2400 01:44:12,037 --> 01:44:14,790 Did I happen to notice you're wearing a thong? 2401 01:44:16,875 --> 01:44:18,543 Oh, my God! 2402 01:44:18,627 --> 01:44:19,753 Are you okay? 2403 01:44:19,836 --> 01:44:21,338 Oh! You did it again. 2404 01:44:21,421 --> 01:44:23,298 I barely touched you. 2405 01:44:23,382 --> 01:44:26,218 Okay, look, you know, if this marriage is gonna work, 2406 01:44:26,301 --> 01:44:28,762 you're gonna have to realize how strong you are, okay? 2407 01:44:28,845 --> 01:44:30,114 You are... You're stronger than me. 2408 01:44:30,138 --> 01:44:31,138 Just accept it. 2409 01:44:31,181 --> 01:44:32,221 I'm not stronger than you. 2410 01:44:32,265 --> 01:44:33,433 Yes, you are. I'm a girl. 2411 01:44:33,517 --> 01:44:36,228 That's right. So, it hurts physically and emotionally. 2412 01:44:36,311 --> 01:44:37,646 Come on, boys. 2413 01:44:37,729 --> 01:44:39,648 Ooh, what about this? 2414 01:44:39,731 --> 01:44:40,732 Bow on my head. 2415 01:44:40,816 --> 01:44:42,985 A bow on your... In white, I would buy it. 2416 01:44:43,068 --> 01:44:44,548 No, I'm serious. I like that neckline. 2417 01:44:44,611 --> 01:44:46,238 A white bow. Excuse me, ladies. 2418 01:44:47,364 --> 01:44:48,448 Uh, is Handy around? 2419 01:44:48,532 --> 01:44:52,327 Handy? You've got company. 2420 01:44:54,663 --> 01:44:57,124 Hey. How you doing? 2421 01:44:57,207 --> 01:44:58,917 Congratulations, Handy. 2422 01:44:59,001 --> 01:45:02,546 You almost beat the most popular president in history. 2423 01:45:02,629 --> 01:45:05,048 Oh, well, thank you. No hard feelings, right? 2424 01:45:05,132 --> 01:45:06,216 Are you kidding? 2425 01:45:06,299 --> 01:45:07,676 Let me cut to the chase. 2426 01:45:07,759 --> 01:45:10,262 What are you doing in about two years? 2427 01:45:10,345 --> 01:45:11,345 What do you mean? 2428 01:45:11,388 --> 01:45:14,057 How does "Governor Harrison" sound to you? 2429 01:45:14,141 --> 01:45:16,601 Governor? Well... 2430 01:45:17,811 --> 01:45:19,771 Yeah, no. Thank you. 2431 01:45:19,855 --> 01:45:21,857 We've got a real possibility here. 2432 01:45:21,940 --> 01:45:23,692 I... Listen, thank you very much. 2433 01:45:23,775 --> 01:45:25,415 I appreciate that you're thinking about me 2434 01:45:25,485 --> 01:45:27,696 and everything, but, um, 2435 01:45:27,779 --> 01:45:30,365 I-I'm kind of happy right where I am. 2436 01:45:30,449 --> 01:45:32,492 Well, I'll respect that. 2437 01:45:32,576 --> 01:45:33,577 Okay. 2438 01:45:34,536 --> 01:45:35,787 Have a good day. 2439 01:45:38,957 --> 01:45:40,751 Hey, uh, hold on one second. 2440 01:45:41,710 --> 01:45:43,670 Let me just ask you. 2441 01:45:43,754 --> 01:45:47,799 Can a governor kind of tell a mayor what to do? 2442 01:45:47,883 --> 01:45:51,386 Oh, yeah. 2443 01:45:54,097 --> 01:45:55,932 Ow! What?