3
00:02:22,959 --> 00:02:25,694
♪ On the edge ♪
♪ of outer space ♪
4
00:02:25,696 --> 00:02:27,796
♪ Space, space, space ♪
5
00:02:27,798 --> 00:02:29,865
♪ She's the one ♪
♪ with a serious face ♪
6
00:02:29,867 --> 00:02:32,934
♪ Face, face, face ♪
♪ face, face ♪
7
00:02:32,936 --> 00:02:35,304
♪ And I dropped in, ♪
♪ checked it out ♪
8
00:02:35,306 --> 00:02:37,472
♪ Alien girls ♪
♪ were all about ♪
9
00:02:37,474 --> 00:02:39,441
♪ Eons since ♪
♪ I had a date ♪
10
00:02:39,443 --> 00:02:42,678
♪ Another light-year's ♪
♪ too long to wait ♪
11
00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:44,880
♪ Earth girls are easy ♪
12
00:02:44,882 --> 00:02:47,316
♪ Earth girls, so easy ♪
13
00:02:47,318 --> 00:02:48,950
♪ Earth girls ♪
14
00:02:53,823 --> 00:02:55,791
♪ Hey, those girls ♪
♪ are loads of fun ♪
15
00:02:55,793 --> 00:02:57,759
♪ Fun, fun, fun, fun ♪
16
00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:59,995
♪ Even hotter ♪
♪ than the sun ♪
17
00:02:59,997 --> 00:03:02,764
♪ Sun, sun, sun ♪
18
00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:04,833
♪ You know that I've had ♪
♪ lots of girls ♪
19
00:03:04,835 --> 00:03:07,736
♪ Most of them ♪
♪ from other worlds ♪
20
00:03:07,738 --> 00:03:09,871
♪ While trippin' through ♪
♪ the galaxy ♪
21
00:03:09,873 --> 00:03:13,008
♪ The valley girls ♪
♪ are the ones for me ♪
22
00:03:13,010 --> 00:03:15,377
♪ Earth girls are easy ♪
23
00:03:15,379 --> 00:03:17,479
♪ Earth girls, so easy ♪
24
00:03:17,481 --> 00:03:19,448
♪ Earth girls ♪
25
00:03:47,443 --> 00:03:49,144
♪ Earth girls ♪
26
00:03:51,514 --> 00:03:54,116
♪ Girls ♪
27
00:03:54,118 --> 00:03:56,618
♪ I've had lots of girls ♪
28
00:03:56,620 --> 00:03:58,687
♪ Most of them ♪
♪ from other worlds ♪
29
00:03:58,689 --> 00:04:00,889
♪ Eons since ♪
♪ I had a date ♪
30
00:04:00,891 --> 00:04:03,825
♪ Another light-year's ♪
♪ too long to wait ♪
31
00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:06,128
♪ Earth girls are easy ♪
32
00:04:06,130 --> 00:04:08,497
♪ Earth girls, so easy ♪
33
00:04:08,499 --> 00:04:10,465
♪ Earth girls ♪
34
00:04:12,402 --> 00:04:14,903
♪ Earth girls are easy ♪
35
00:04:14,905 --> 00:04:17,038
♪ Earth girls, so easy ♪
36
00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,874
♪ Earth girls ♪
37
00:04:18,876 --> 00:04:21,410
♪ Earth girls, so easy ♪
38
00:04:21,412 --> 00:04:23,445
♪ So easy, so easy ♪
39
00:04:23,447 --> 00:04:25,647
♪ Earth girls ♪
40
00:04:25,649 --> 00:04:27,616
♪ Earth girls. ♪
41
00:04:46,035 --> 00:04:47,769
42
00:04:51,607 --> 00:04:54,576
43
00:04:56,946 --> 00:05:00,182
-
- MAN: Valerie.
44
00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:05,053
- I'm home.
- Oh, no. Ted, wait.
45
00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:07,522
You're not supposed to see me
in this before the wedding.
46
00:05:07,524 --> 00:05:09,458
It's bad luck.
47
00:05:09,460 --> 00:05:11,159
Don't worry about it.
48
00:05:11,161 --> 00:05:13,228
I mean, sweetheart,
49
00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:16,898
it's just some stupid
superstition anyway.
50
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,800
Yeah, you're right.
51
00:05:18,802 --> 00:05:22,704
We met on Friday the 13th
and look how happy we are.
52
00:05:22,706 --> 00:05:26,475
So, Ted, what happened?
You said 11:00.
53
00:05:26,477 --> 00:05:28,043
I'm sorry, Val.
54
00:05:28,045 --> 00:05:31,847
It was blood and guts night
at the old emergency room.
55
00:05:32,882 --> 00:05:34,950
Again?
56
00:05:34,952 --> 00:05:36,918
Gee, I wish you'd called me.
57
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:39,855
I would have, but, you know,
58
00:05:39,857 --> 00:05:42,257
five minutes on the phone
and that could, uh,
59
00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:45,093
cost a life.
You know that.
60
00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:46,962
Oh.
61
00:05:46,964 --> 00:05:48,964
I'm ready, Teddy.
62
00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:54,135
Oh, what a day.
63
00:05:57,006 --> 00:05:59,274
Boy.
64
00:06:02,211 --> 00:06:04,246
I was fluffing it for you.
65
00:06:16,192 --> 00:06:18,159
Sweetheart, could you
get the light, please?
66
00:06:27,904 --> 00:06:29,804
Teddy…
67
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:31,740
look what I found.
68
00:06:31,742 --> 00:06:33,808
Sweetheart, I'm sorry,
69
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:36,912
but I have to take out a gall
bladder first thing in the morning.
70
00:06:36,914 --> 00:06:40,582
- Tomorrow night. I promise.
- No, I won't be here tomorrow night.
71
00:06:40,584 --> 00:06:43,118
- I'll be at the nail expo.
- What?
72
00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:46,288
The cuticle convention, remember?
I'll be gone till Monday.
73
00:06:46,290 --> 00:06:49,691
Oh, well, Monday, then.
I promise.
74
00:06:54,063 --> 00:06:56,731
You know, I was reading
an ad for these pyramids
75
00:06:56,733 --> 00:06:58,300
that you can get
and put over the bed
76
00:06:58,302 --> 00:07:00,201
and they're supposed to
increase sexual energy.
77
00:07:00,203 --> 00:07:02,938
- I thought we could…
- Valerie, please.
78
00:07:04,574 --> 00:07:06,741
- Sorry.
- Good night, sweetheart.
79
00:07:06,743 --> 00:07:08,977
Night.
80
00:07:14,784 --> 00:07:18,019
WOMAN ON RADIO: K-Earth 101 southland
weather… another gorgeous day in L.A.
81
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:20,221
Sunny and warm.
86 degrees in Malibu.
82
00:07:20,223 --> 00:07:22,691
94 in the valley.
88 in Hollywood.
83
00:07:22,693 --> 00:07:25,160
That's K-Earth 101 news.
I'm Claudia Marshall.
84
00:07:28,164 --> 00:07:31,933
♪ It's the summer of love, ♪
♪ love, love ♪
85
00:07:31,935 --> 00:07:35,036
♪ I'm in love with ♪
♪ the love, love, love ♪
86
00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:39,641
♪ For everyone ♪
♪ transcends who ♪
87
00:07:39,643 --> 00:07:42,277
♪ I'm thinking of you ♪
88
00:07:42,279 --> 00:07:44,112
♪ Boy ♪
89
00:07:44,114 --> 00:07:45,947
♪ Love energy ♪
90
00:07:45,949 --> 00:07:49,050
♪ Is giving us a shove ♪
91
00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:53,989
♪ Making this ♪
♪ the summer of love… ♪
92
00:07:53,991 --> 00:07:57,058
Hi, Miss Lana.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
93
00:07:57,060 --> 00:08:01,029
I missed our appointment.
You look so great.
94
00:08:01,031 --> 00:08:05,634
- That's a great outfit.
- Thanks, dear. That door's a real bitch.
95
00:08:05,636 --> 00:08:08,970
- Hi, Val.
- Morning.
96
00:08:08,972 --> 00:08:12,007
WOMAN: It's a really
good color for me.
97
00:08:12,009 --> 00:08:14,175
- Wow.
- Yeah.
98
00:08:14,177 --> 00:08:16,678
You need a fill.
99
00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:19,681
- Uh, morning, all.
- ALL: Good morning.
100
00:08:19,683 --> 00:08:22,984
You better have a note from
your mother, young lady.
101
00:08:22,986 --> 00:08:25,987
♪ He's showing ♪
♪ off his body… ♪
102
00:08:25,989 --> 00:08:27,689
I don't know.
103
00:08:27,691 --> 00:08:30,325
I'm just not that
turned on by her lately.
104
00:08:30,327 --> 00:08:33,695
I hear oysters
are good for potency.
105
00:08:33,697 --> 00:08:36,331
Yeah, I tried that once,
but they kept slipping off.
106
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,968
If I was any more potent,
I'd kill somebody.
107
00:08:39,970 --> 00:08:41,936
- Whoa!
- Oh, right!
108
00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:43,838
No, no, no.
109
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,341
I gave this cute, little nurse a
ride home the other night, right?
110
00:08:46,343 --> 00:08:48,943
Yeah, and?
111
00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:51,112
And nothing. I'm getting
married next month.
112
00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:54,816
And why are you
so tardy, young lady?
113
00:08:54,818 --> 00:08:56,985
Oh, I was up real late
last night with Ted.
114
00:08:56,987 --> 00:09:00,055
Oh, Dr. Dolittle
finally came through, huh?
115
00:09:00,057 --> 00:09:02,223
No. He was
dead on arrival.
116
00:09:02,225 --> 00:09:05,460
- Again? Sanka?
- Sure.
117
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:07,829
You know, at the rate
we've been having sex,
118
00:09:07,831 --> 00:09:10,298
we might as well
be married already.
119
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,333
What's it been, like, a week?
120
00:09:12,335 --> 00:09:15,136
Two weeks.
121
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:17,072
Valerie,
122
00:09:17,074 --> 00:09:20,075
Ted is obviously
a victim of PMS.
123
00:09:20,077 --> 00:09:23,078
- What?
- Premarital stress.
124
00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:25,847
Oh. What'll snap him
out of it?
125
00:09:25,849 --> 00:09:28,850
- A new woman.
- Thanks.
126
00:09:28,852 --> 00:09:32,053
Wait. That's it!
We'll make you a new woman.
127
00:09:32,055 --> 00:09:34,823
Oh, this is great. This is
totally fabulous. Watch this.
128
00:09:34,825 --> 00:09:37,459
Okay, let's see how you look
on the makeover machine.
129
00:09:37,461 --> 00:09:38,893
Oh, housewife from hell.
130
00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:44,265
Matron on drugs.
Look at that.
131
00:09:44,267 --> 00:09:48,269
That's it. We'll make you
blonde with blue eyes.
132
00:09:48,271 --> 00:09:50,004
VALERIE:
I don't know.
133
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:51,439
Maybe when I get back
from the nail expo…
134
00:09:51,441 --> 00:09:54,776
No, skip the expo.
Stay home and ambush Ted.
135
00:09:54,778 --> 00:09:57,011
Oh, what if he doesn't like it?
136
00:09:57,013 --> 00:10:00,248
At this point, what
have you got to lose?
137
00:10:00,250 --> 00:10:04,052
- I don't know.
- Hey, come on, everybody. We're doing a makeover.
138
00:10:04,054 --> 00:10:07,188
BOTH:
Ooh! Ooh!
139
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,093
- A perm.
- A perm.
140
00:10:12,095 --> 00:10:14,295
- A butch.
- A butch.
141
00:10:14,297 --> 00:10:16,164
- A facial.
- A facial.
142
00:10:16,166 --> 00:10:18,233
- A body wrap.
- A body wrap.
143
00:10:18,235 --> 00:10:20,835
- Gravel scrub.
- A gravel scrub.
144
00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:22,470
- Bikini wax.
- Bikini wax.
145
00:10:22,472 --> 00:10:24,205
- A fall.
146
00:10:24,207 --> 00:10:27,008
- We'll do it all.
- WOMAN: All right!
147
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:41,189
♪ It's time to face the music, ♪
♪ it's time to make you see ♪
148
00:10:41,191 --> 00:10:45,093
♪ The root of all your problems ♪
♪ is that you don't look like me ♪
149
00:10:45,095 --> 00:10:49,264
♪ Now this is gonna hurt you, ♪
♪ but I just got to say ♪
150
00:10:49,266 --> 00:10:53,301
♪ Your love life's going nowhere ♪
♪ 'cause you look like Doris Day ♪
151
00:10:53,303 --> 00:10:55,370
♪ Who's the one ♪
♪ they can't resist? ♪
152
00:10:55,372 --> 00:10:57,138
♪ The brand new girl ♪
153
00:10:57,140 --> 00:10:59,440
♪ Who's on ♪
♪ the most wanted list? ♪
154
00:10:59,442 --> 00:11:01,810
♪ The brand new girl ♪
155
00:11:01,812 --> 00:11:05,413
♪ Honey, if you vixenize, ♪
♪ guaranteed he'll get a rise ♪
156
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:09,417
- ♪ Believe that you can be a brand new ♪
- ♪ Brand new
157
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,352
- ♪ Brand new
- ♪ Brand new
158
00:11:11,354 --> 00:11:13,321
- ♪ Brand new
- ♪ Brand new
159
00:11:13,323 --> 00:11:16,024
♪ Brand new girl, ow ♪
160
00:11:16,026 --> 00:11:18,092
161
00:11:25,068 --> 00:11:27,569
♪ You're cute and fresh ♪
♪ and wholesome ♪
162
00:11:27,571 --> 00:11:29,470
♪ But science ♪
♪ has a cure ♪
163
00:11:29,472 --> 00:11:31,239
♪ The natural look ♪
♪ is nowhere ♪
164
00:11:31,241 --> 00:11:33,608
♪ Your hairdresser ♪
♪ knows for sure ♪
165
00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:36,044
♪ You gotta learn ♪
♪ the art of teasing ♪
166
00:11:36,046 --> 00:11:38,012
♪ Change ♪
♪ your repertoire ♪
167
00:11:38,014 --> 00:11:40,181
♪ All you need's ♪
♪ a little faith ♪
168
00:11:40,183 --> 00:11:42,283
♪ And a see-through
pushup bra ♪
169
00:11:46,121 --> 00:11:48,122
♪ If you wanna be ♪
♪ a femme fatale ♪
170
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:50,024
♪ You can't rest ♪
♪ on your L'Oreals ♪
171
00:11:50,026 --> 00:11:52,260
♪ You know, I think ♪
♪ she might be right ♪
172
00:11:52,262 --> 00:11:54,028
♪ Grab the bleach, ♪
♪ she's seen the light ♪
173
00:11:56,233 --> 00:11:58,166
- ♪ Maybelline ♪
- Ooh.
174
00:11:58,168 --> 00:12:00,301
- ♪ Revlon ♪
175
00:12:00,303 --> 00:12:02,136
- ♪ Rubbermaid ♪
- Mm.
176
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:04,205
♪ Talk to me, ♪
♪ Max Factor ♪
177
00:12:04,207 --> 00:12:06,341
♪ Who's the one ♪
♪ they can't resist? ♪
178
00:12:06,343 --> 00:12:08,643
- ♪ The brand new girl
- ♪ Brand new
179
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:10,445
♪ Who's on ♪
♪ the most wanted list? ♪
180
00:12:10,447 --> 00:12:12,647
♪ The brand new girl ♪
181
00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:14,883
♪ Honey, ♪
♪ if you vixenize ♪
182
00:12:14,885 --> 00:12:16,951
♪ Guaranteed ♪
♪ he'll get a rise ♪
183
00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:19,320
♪ Believe that can be ♪
♪ a brand new ♪
184
00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:21,556
- ♪ Brand new ♪
- ♪ Brand new ♪
185
00:12:21,558 --> 00:12:23,424
- ♪ Brand new ♪
- ♪ Brand new ♪
186
00:12:23,426 --> 00:12:26,494
- ♪ Brand new ♪
- ♪ Brand ♪
187
00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:28,463
♪ New ♪
188
00:12:28,465 --> 00:12:33,234
♪ Girl ♪
189
00:12:33,236 --> 00:12:35,303
♪ Girl ♪
190
00:12:35,305 --> 00:12:37,272
191
00:12:40,576 --> 00:12:43,344
Hello, Dr. Gallagher.
192
00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:45,413
Surprised?
193
00:12:45,415 --> 00:12:50,285
Yes, it's me.
194
00:12:50,287 --> 00:12:52,687
Dr. Gallagher.
195
00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:55,323
Why are you looking
at me like that?
196
00:12:57,626 --> 00:13:00,295
You want to do what?
197
00:13:00,297 --> 00:13:03,431
Oh, no, no.
I couldn't.
198
00:13:03,433 --> 00:13:06,634
No, no, please.
Stop.
199
00:13:06,636 --> 00:13:08,536
No, no.
200
00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:10,571
Well…
201
00:13:10,573 --> 00:13:12,473
all right.
202
00:13:14,243 --> 00:13:17,979
Okay.
Let's see.
203
00:13:17,981 --> 00:13:21,616
Now, champagne, flowers,
204
00:13:21,618 --> 00:13:24,452
sushi, feathers,
205
00:13:24,454 --> 00:13:27,588
um, sensual oil,
206
00:13:27,590 --> 00:13:29,257
right,
207
00:13:29,259 --> 00:13:32,593
and incense or… let's see.
208
00:13:32,595 --> 00:13:35,196
"Sprinkle a light bulb
with your favorite perfume
209
00:13:35,198 --> 00:13:38,333
to sensualize the atmosphere
of your love trap."
210
00:13:41,971 --> 00:13:43,738
211
00:13:47,209 --> 00:13:49,177
212
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,448
-
-
213
00:13:53,450 --> 00:13:55,183
Oh, no!
214
00:13:57,119 --> 00:13:59,320
-
- Oh, God. He's here.
215
00:14:16,071 --> 00:14:19,240
Well, this is where we live.
216
00:14:19,242 --> 00:14:23,511
- We?
- Yeah. Uh, you know, me and, uh,
217
00:14:23,513 --> 00:14:26,114
the cat… Bambi.
218
00:14:29,585 --> 00:14:32,620
Just make yourself
at home, all right?
219
00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:34,589
Okay.
220
00:14:43,666 --> 00:14:45,633
221
00:14:53,742 --> 00:14:56,677
"How to Drive a Man Crazy."
222
00:15:02,317 --> 00:15:03,718
223
00:15:06,422 --> 00:15:09,390
- Eat me, I'm a cookie!
224
00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:14,195
I'm sorry.
I'm so embarrassed.
225
00:15:14,197 --> 00:15:17,131
I didn't know Ted had company.
I'm Valerie.
226
00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:19,333
I don't usually dress like this.
227
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:21,636
Here comes Dr. Love.
228
00:15:24,239 --> 00:15:27,542
All right, Robin, a pileup.
229
00:15:27,544 --> 00:15:30,378
Who's your friend?
230
00:15:30,380 --> 00:15:34,082
- Shit! Val.
- Ted, what are you doing?
231
00:15:34,084 --> 00:15:37,718
- Uh, gee, nothing.
- What… what is going on here?
232
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:39,687
You brought a girl home
to have sex?
233
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:41,689
Well, you weren't
supposed to be here, Val.
234
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:44,792
- You were going to have sex without me?
- Well, no.
235
00:15:44,794 --> 00:15:48,196
- Of course not.
- Look, I don't know what you two had in mind,
236
00:15:48,198 --> 00:15:51,332
but I'm really not
into kinky scenes.
237
00:15:51,334 --> 00:15:53,434
Bye.
238
00:15:53,436 --> 00:15:55,803
Gee, Val, you look incredible.
239
00:15:55,805 --> 00:15:58,439
Hey, you know… hey, honey, she
doesn't mean a thing to me, really.
240
00:15:58,441 --> 00:16:00,308
If meaningless sex
is what you want,
241
00:16:00,310 --> 00:16:02,410
why can't you have it with me!
242
00:16:02,412 --> 00:16:04,512
I'm sorry.
I made a stupid mistake.
243
00:16:04,514 --> 00:16:08,416
Hey, you know, I thought I
wanted a last fling, that's all.
244
00:16:08,418 --> 00:16:11,285
You can't expect me to be
more evolved than I really am.
245
00:16:11,287 --> 00:16:13,888
Evolved?
I'll show you evolved.
246
00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:16,557
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute, Val.
247
00:16:16,559 --> 00:16:18,392
No, no, no. No, don't do that.
That's very dangerous.
248
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:20,761
Hey! Cut it…
Val, stop it!
249
00:16:20,763 --> 00:16:23,464
Cut it out!
250
00:16:23,466 --> 00:16:26,234
- Val, come on!
-
251
00:16:26,236 --> 00:16:27,902
Neighbors are watching!
252
00:16:30,672 --> 00:16:33,508
Val, open up.
Sweetheart, open the door!
253
00:16:33,510 --> 00:16:35,810
VALERIE: You're wanted
in emergency, Dr. Love.
254
00:16:35,812 --> 00:16:39,213
Val, you can't do this
to me! I'm a doctor!
255
00:16:41,850 --> 00:16:45,219
Here! Take these
with you, Dr. Love.
256
00:16:47,556 --> 00:16:49,524
And don't come back!
257
00:16:56,198 --> 00:16:57,765
-
- Ted!
258
00:17:00,302 --> 00:17:03,838
-
- Ted!
259
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:05,606
Ted, where are you going?
260
00:17:13,348 --> 00:17:15,650
Go to bed, Mrs. Merkin!
261
00:17:15,652 --> 00:17:18,653
- Mrs. Merkin! Mrs. Merkin!
262
00:17:20,924 --> 00:17:24,892
♪ You're a liar, ♪
♪ and it took me forever ♪
263
00:17:24,894 --> 00:17:28,729
♪ To figure that out ♪
264
00:17:30,566 --> 00:17:33,334
♪ You could ♪
♪ switch on a smile ♪
265
00:17:33,336 --> 00:17:35,570
♪ Pretend to be tender ♪
266
00:17:35,572 --> 00:17:40,208
♪ But I know now ♪
♪ what you're all about ♪
267
00:17:40,210 --> 00:17:42,710
♪ What a nightmare ♪
268
00:17:42,712 --> 00:17:46,380
♪ My friends thought ♪
♪ you were a dream ♪
269
00:17:49,384 --> 00:17:51,986
♪ You could ♪
♪ switch on a smile ♪
270
00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:54,655
- ♪ And seem so sincere ♪
271
00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:58,359
♪ But you don't even know ♪
♪ what that means ♪
272
00:17:58,361 --> 00:18:02,897
♪ I don't think ♪
♪ you'll ever understand ♪
273
00:18:02,899 --> 00:18:07,635
♪ Ooh, did cheating on me ♪
♪ make you feel like a man? ♪
274
00:18:07,637 --> 00:18:12,473
♪ I used to worship ♪
♪ the ground you walk on ♪
275
00:18:12,475 --> 00:18:16,744
♪ I did anything ♪
♪ you wanted me to ♪
276
00:18:16,746 --> 00:18:21,849
♪ I used to worship ♪
♪ the ground you walk on ♪
277
00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:26,787
♪ Now I've lost ♪
♪ my faith in you ♪
278
00:18:31,260 --> 00:18:33,361
♪ Ahh ♪
279
00:18:35,530 --> 00:18:38,499
♪ Sunday mornings ♪
♪ I'd wake up ♪
280
00:18:38,501 --> 00:18:41,636
♪ Lie in bed ♪
♪ watching you sleep ♪
281
00:18:44,873 --> 00:18:47,608
♪ It was almost religious ♪
282
00:18:47,610 --> 00:18:50,444
♪ How I believed in you ♪
283
00:18:50,446 --> 00:18:53,748
♪ It hurt when you ♪
♪ destroyed my belief ♪
284
00:18:53,750 --> 00:18:57,985
♪ I don't think ♪
♪ you'll ever understand ♪
285
00:18:57,987 --> 00:19:02,957
♪ Ooh, did cheatin' on me ♪
♪ make you feel like a man? ♪
286
00:19:02,959 --> 00:19:07,662
♪ I used to worship ♪
♪ the ground you walk on ♪
287
00:19:07,664 --> 00:19:11,732
♪ I did anything ♪
♪ you wanted me to ♪
288
00:19:11,734 --> 00:19:16,871
♪ I used to worship ♪
♪ the ground you walk on ♪
289
00:19:16,873 --> 00:19:21,809
♪ Now I've lost my faith ♪
♪ in you ♪
290
00:19:21,811 --> 00:19:25,780
♪ Oh, I've lost ♪
♪ my faith in you ♪
291
00:19:36,892 --> 00:19:41,929
♪ I used to worship ♪
♪ the ground you walk on ♪
292
00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:46,067
♪ Didn't think ♪
♪ I'd get by without you ♪
293
00:19:46,069 --> 00:19:51,472
♪ Now I don't worship ♪
♪ the ground you walk on ♪
294
00:19:51,474 --> 00:19:55,643
♪ And I'm stronger ♪
♪ than I knew ♪
295
00:19:55,645 --> 00:19:59,113
♪ I'm stronger ♪
♪ than you knew ♪
296
00:20:07,923 --> 00:20:11,492
- Come here, you.
- No, Doctor. What about your wife?
297
00:20:11,494 --> 00:20:14,395
She's in a coma.
You're not.
298
00:20:15,564 --> 00:20:19,767
No. Oh.
Mm. Oh.
299
00:20:19,769 --> 00:20:23,003
John?
John?
300
00:20:25,942 --> 00:20:29,377
You weasel dick!
301
00:20:29,379 --> 00:20:30,945
302
00:20:32,881 --> 00:20:35,383
Hello.
Oh, Candy.
303
00:20:35,385 --> 00:20:38,386
The worst thing
in the world happened.
304
00:20:38,388 --> 00:20:40,454
No, Bambi's fine.
305
00:20:40,456 --> 00:20:42,056
It's Ted.
306
00:20:42,058 --> 00:20:45,426
Yeah. The blonde
thing did not work.
307
00:20:45,428 --> 00:20:47,828
ROBIN LEACH: It's the show
that shows the ins and outs
308
00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:50,097
of the southern California
fitness craze.
309
00:20:50,099 --> 00:20:53,501
Let's face it.
Inner beauty is for losers…
310
00:21:32,874 --> 00:21:34,675
Ooh.
311
00:22:26,094 --> 00:22:27,194
Uh!
312
00:22:48,583 --> 00:22:49,850
Mac!
313
00:23:53,882 --> 00:23:55,849
Oh, great.
314
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:00,854
Oh, this is too good.
315
00:24:00,856 --> 00:24:03,657
There's a giant blow dryer
in my pool.
316
00:24:11,833 --> 00:24:14,301
Oh, shit!
317
00:24:14,303 --> 00:24:18,005
Goddamn it, Ted, you're not gonna
control my mind when you're not here.
318
00:24:18,007 --> 00:24:20,240
Okay, now…
319
00:24:20,242 --> 00:24:23,877
just release all this
negative energy
320
00:24:23,879 --> 00:24:26,180
out into the universe.
321
00:24:26,182 --> 00:24:28,115
You're just gonna swim
right through it.
322
00:25:31,947 --> 00:25:35,849
Oh, Teddy bear.
You're back.
323
00:25:48,063 --> 00:25:52,132
What is this?
What's going on here?
324
00:25:52,134 --> 00:25:54,868
This isn't what
it looks like, is it?
325
00:25:54,870 --> 00:25:57,004
- Is it?
326
00:25:57,006 --> 00:25:58,839
Oh, my God, it is.
327
00:25:58,841 --> 00:26:00,874
It's a spaceship.
328
00:26:00,876 --> 00:26:03,077
Oh, like things
weren't bad enough.
329
00:26:03,079 --> 00:26:05,012
Now I've been abducted by a UFO.
330
00:26:05,014 --> 00:26:06,947
Now, you guys…
331
00:26:06,949 --> 00:26:09,483
you're just gonna do some
little experiments on me
332
00:26:09,485 --> 00:26:13,353
and then, um, let me go like in
the "National Enquirer," right?
333
00:26:13,355 --> 00:26:15,456
- Right?
- Right?
334
00:26:15,458 --> 00:26:17,424
Right?
335
00:26:18,860 --> 00:26:21,095
Okay, okay.
336
00:26:21,097 --> 00:26:23,330
Just don't take out
anything I'm gonna need later.
337
00:26:29,337 --> 00:26:31,905
Come on, come on. Get it over
with and then let me go, okay?
338
00:26:36,177 --> 00:26:38,078
I don't know why
you abducted me anyway.
339
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:40,280
I mean, I'm sure you're looking
for somebody more important,
340
00:26:40,282 --> 00:26:42,282
- you know, like Nancy Reagan.
- Nancy Reagan.
341
00:26:42,284 --> 00:26:44,418
- Nancy Reagan.
- Really, if you let me go
342
00:26:44,420 --> 00:26:46,019
I'll tell you where
to find her because…
343
00:26:46,021 --> 00:26:48,255
see, I'm just a manicurist.
344
00:26:48,257 --> 00:26:50,958
I don't know anything
about anything except nails.
345
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:53,327
- You know, nails.
- Nails.
346
00:26:53,329 --> 00:26:54,895
- Nails.
- Nibs.
347
00:26:59,234 --> 00:27:01,201
Really,
I can keep my mouth shut.
348
00:27:01,203 --> 00:27:03,437
I mean, I'm the kind of person
that you can tell anything to
349
00:27:03,439 --> 00:27:05,939
and I would never tell.
Ask my cousin Debbie.
350
00:27:05,941 --> 00:27:08,475
You know, she got her boobs
done, and I never told anyone.
351
00:27:10,211 --> 00:27:12,045
Oh, except I just told you.
352
00:27:16,217 --> 00:27:18,986
Oh, my God.
You're aliens.
353
00:27:25,493 --> 00:27:27,895
Zeebo.
354
00:27:27,897 --> 00:27:31,532
Is that your name?
Zeebo?
355
00:27:31,534 --> 00:27:33,500
Wiploc.
356
00:27:35,003 --> 00:27:37,171
Wiploc. Hi.
357
00:27:37,173 --> 00:27:39,306
Makelsolakveder.
358
00:27:39,308 --> 00:27:42,209
Maybe I'll just call you Mac.
How's that?
359
00:27:42,211 --> 00:27:44,278
Oh, and I'm Valerie.
360
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:46,180
- Valerie.
- "Walerie."
361
00:27:46,182 --> 00:27:48,148
Volare.
362
00:27:48,150 --> 00:27:50,450
You guys aren't
gonna to hurt me, are you?
363
00:27:53,188 --> 00:27:55,522
Your planet is weird.
364
00:27:55,524 --> 00:27:59,226
We're still in my pool.
365
00:27:59,228 --> 00:28:01,428
- Oh.
- Oh!
366
00:28:01,430 --> 00:28:04,198
Well, listen. It was really
nice meeting you, fellas,
367
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:06,533
but I have to go.
368
00:28:06,535 --> 00:28:10,871
Feel free to use the pool, really, but
you've caught me at sort of a bad time.
369
00:28:13,542 --> 00:28:15,509
370
00:28:27,922 --> 00:28:31,024
Did I do that?
I flooded the ship.
371
00:28:31,026 --> 00:28:33,527
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm so embarrassed.
372
00:28:33,529 --> 00:28:37,030
I'm really, really sorry, you guys,
but I'm sure you can fix it, right?
373
00:28:39,500 --> 00:28:41,869
Don't freak out, really.
374
00:28:41,871 --> 00:28:45,472
This is just like the time that I
dropped my lady Schick in the toilet.
375
00:28:45,474 --> 00:28:49,142
It's really… as soon as it
dried out, it worked fine.
376
00:28:49,144 --> 00:28:50,911
Really.
377
00:28:55,550 --> 00:28:59,286
Let's go in my house
and I'll make some lunch
378
00:28:59,288 --> 00:29:01,521
and I'll get the pool drained
379
00:29:01,523 --> 00:29:05,893
and then you guys can take off,
you know, back to your planet.
380
00:29:05,895 --> 00:29:07,961
Blast off.
381
00:29:07,963 --> 00:29:11,098
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
Comprende?
382
00:29:11,100 --> 00:29:14,268
- Comprende?
- Comprende?
383
00:29:14,270 --> 00:29:16,236
Comprende.
384
00:29:29,684 --> 00:29:32,085
Be careful. This
ladder's a little loose.
385
00:29:32,087 --> 00:29:35,289
Oh, I'm glad you can
breathe okay.
386
00:29:35,291 --> 00:29:37,591
The air quality
is actually very good today.
387
00:29:41,129 --> 00:29:43,230
Careful.
It's kind of wet.
388
00:29:49,203 --> 00:29:50,504
Okay?
389
00:29:50,506 --> 00:29:53,440
Well, uh, come on.
Let's go in the house.
390
00:29:55,310 --> 00:29:57,077
This way.
391
00:30:00,114 --> 00:30:03,216
Those are lemons. You know,
lemonade, lemon Pledge.
392
00:30:03,218 --> 00:30:06,553
Oh. It's okay.
It's a sprinkler.
393
00:30:06,555 --> 00:30:10,290
Listen, Earth people are gonna
freak out if they see you.
394
00:30:10,292 --> 00:30:13,427
No offense, but you do look kinda
like wookies or werewolves
395
00:30:13,429 --> 00:30:15,495
or something,
and people hate that.
396
00:30:15,497 --> 00:30:17,230
I mean, they're gonna wanna
shoot you or something,
397
00:30:17,232 --> 00:30:20,000
- so just be cool, okay?
398
00:30:23,137 --> 00:30:25,038
Let's go inside.
Come on, come on.
399
00:30:26,975 --> 00:30:29,042
What's going on
in my horoscope today?
400
00:30:34,115 --> 00:30:35,983
Well, this is my house.
401
00:30:35,985 --> 00:30:38,418
Um…
sorry about the mess.
402
00:30:38,420 --> 00:30:40,387
Make yourselves at home.
403
00:30:51,499 --> 00:30:53,500
Hi. This is
Valerie Gale.
404
00:30:53,502 --> 00:30:56,169
Could you send Woody
to drain my pool?
405
00:30:56,171 --> 00:30:58,438
Yeah. Right away.
It's an emergency. I…
406
00:31:01,609 --> 00:31:03,577
407
00:31:12,487 --> 00:31:15,756
Wow! I've never see
her do that before!
408
00:31:15,758 --> 00:31:19,159
What is that,
some kind of love touch?
409
00:31:24,265 --> 00:31:26,099
Oh! Hi. Yeah.
Listen.
410
00:31:26,101 --> 00:31:27,601
This is a matter
of life and death.
411
00:31:27,603 --> 00:31:30,103
See, I lost my contact lens
in the pool…
412
00:31:30,105 --> 00:31:34,141
no, no. It's gotta be Woody.
He found it the last time.
413
00:31:34,143 --> 00:31:36,676
Hey!
Those are Ted's fish!
414
00:31:36,678 --> 00:31:39,746
Thanks.
No. No. No. No.
415
00:31:39,748 --> 00:31:43,617
Not food!
Not food!
416
00:31:45,386 --> 00:31:48,221
Let's see.
Oh, not much here,
417
00:31:48,223 --> 00:31:51,291
but then, I didn't expect
I'd be have aliens for lunch.
418
00:31:51,293 --> 00:31:53,193
Oh, look.
419
00:31:53,195 --> 00:31:56,396
Low-cal Pop Tarts.
These are natural.
420
00:31:56,398 --> 00:31:58,365
Great.
421
00:32:02,771 --> 00:32:06,740
Okay. We have an entree.
What else?
422
00:32:09,844 --> 00:32:12,145
Uh… instant pudding!
423
00:32:12,147 --> 00:32:15,248
Add water, hmm…
too much work.
424
00:32:15,250 --> 00:32:17,551
Oh, spray-on cheese!
This is great.
425
00:32:19,353 --> 00:32:21,321
You have eggs on your planet?
426
00:32:23,124 --> 00:32:25,092
I could cook those for you.
427
00:32:35,503 --> 00:32:37,804
This is wonderful.
428
00:33:01,562 --> 00:33:04,364
Oh, Wiploc!
No! No! Not there!
429
00:33:04,366 --> 00:33:06,333
No.
Come with me.
430
00:33:15,743 --> 00:33:18,645
Okay.
So you go in there.
431
00:33:20,414 --> 00:33:22,682
No! No!
Come here. No.
432
00:33:22,684 --> 00:33:26,219
You go in there.
433
00:33:26,221 --> 00:33:27,787
Go in there…
434
00:33:27,789 --> 00:33:30,323
Yeah.
And then you flush.
435
00:34:02,490 --> 00:34:03,957
Oh, my God!
Woody's here!
436
00:34:03,959 --> 00:34:05,926
Whatever you do,
just stay inside.
437
00:34:49,303 --> 00:34:51,004
438
00:35:04,685 --> 00:35:07,854
- You are Americans.
439
00:35:07,856 --> 00:35:09,889
You're the product
of the freest society…
440
00:35:11,827 --> 00:35:15,962
- You're tearing me apart!
441
00:35:15,964 --> 00:35:19,432
You say one thing, he says another,
and everybody changes back…
442
00:35:19,434 --> 00:35:22,502
- MAN: A new car!
- A new car!
443
00:35:22,504 --> 00:35:26,439
- ♪ Take a mind excursion ♪
444
00:35:26,441 --> 00:35:28,008
♪ It's just… ♪
445
00:35:28,010 --> 00:35:29,976
Hey!
How's it going?
446
00:35:29,978 --> 00:35:33,513
- Hey, Woody.
- What's that you're sitting on?
447
00:35:33,515 --> 00:35:37,684
- Some kind of giant boogie board?
- No, it's my new pool patio.
448
00:35:37,686 --> 00:35:39,819
- Bitchin', huh?
- It's pretty rad.
449
00:35:41,690 --> 00:35:44,424
WOODY:
Whoa! Shoot the curl, kitty!
450
00:35:44,426 --> 00:35:46,493
Those little guys
love the water, don't they?
451
00:35:49,497 --> 00:35:52,332
Listen, Valerie. How come
you want your pool drained?
452
00:35:52,334 --> 00:35:54,868
How come?
I don't know.
453
00:35:54,870 --> 00:35:58,471
You know, the water just seems
really stale or something.
454
00:35:58,473 --> 00:36:00,640
We've seen a lot of that.
455
00:36:00,642 --> 00:36:02,475
So, how long is this gonna take?
456
00:36:02,477 --> 00:36:05,011
Uh… about…
a day.
457
00:36:07,682 --> 00:36:10,083
Whoa, check out the sets, man.
458
00:36:10,085 --> 00:36:13,720
If I was six inches tall,
I'd be out there now.
459
00:36:13,722 --> 00:36:16,356
They were pumping
like that this morning…
460
00:36:16,358 --> 00:36:18,491
- I don't believe this.
- no, for real.
461
00:36:18,493 --> 00:36:22,028
And I was getting barreled
in this totally cool tube.
462
00:36:22,030 --> 00:36:25,665
I had just Sex Waxed
my board… really prem'.
463
00:36:25,667 --> 00:36:28,868
Some hotdog shoots his board,
hits me in the head.
464
00:36:28,870 --> 00:36:31,871
- Look at that.
- This is the worst.
465
00:36:31,873 --> 00:36:34,407
Yeah, it would've been
the ride of the decade, too.
466
00:36:34,409 --> 00:36:37,610
Well, what am I supposed to do
until tomorrow?
467
00:36:37,612 --> 00:36:40,613
Waste your brain.
Wax your board.
468
00:36:40,615 --> 00:36:42,782
Pray for waves.
469
00:36:52,961 --> 00:36:56,029
Try this.
♪ What'll it be, hmm. ♪
470
00:36:56,031 --> 00:36:59,032
- ♪ What'll it be? ♪
- ♪ Hmm ♪
471
00:36:59,034 --> 00:37:03,503
Nice. Make me an Alaskan polar bear
heater on the double. Come on, come on.
472
00:37:03,505 --> 00:37:07,040
We'll make our own music,
gorgeous. You and you stay.
473
00:37:07,042 --> 00:37:09,976
Tubby, you go rest
your thumbs. I'll drive.
474
00:37:09,978 --> 00:37:12,779
Now watch, baby.
Every move a picture.
475
00:37:12,781 --> 00:37:16,449
-
-
476
00:37:20,821 --> 00:37:22,756
Is there a doctor in the house?
477
00:37:22,758 --> 00:37:24,958
Not right now.
478
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:27,827
- Leave a message when you
hear the beep. -
479
00:37:27,829 --> 00:37:30,697
TED:
Valerie? Are you there?
480
00:37:30,699 --> 00:37:33,900
Please pick up.
I need to talk to you.
481
00:37:33,902 --> 00:37:35,969
I'm sorry I was such an asshole.
482
00:37:35,971 --> 00:37:39,072
Val, you've got to believe this.
483
00:37:39,074 --> 00:37:42,008
I've never ever been
unfaithful to you. Ever.
484
00:37:42,010 --> 00:37:44,811
I'm only guilty of a little
kissy-face with one nurse.
485
00:37:44,813 --> 00:37:47,080
I swear.
Oh, sweetheart.
486
00:37:47,082 --> 00:37:50,016
You stopped me from making a biggest
mistake of my life last night.
487
00:37:50,018 --> 00:37:53,753
Val, I'm so sorry.
Please forgive me.
488
00:37:53,755 --> 00:37:56,423
I'll see you
when I get home. Bye.
489
00:38:00,828 --> 00:38:02,996
WOMAN:
Come back to Finland.
490
00:38:02,998 --> 00:38:06,733
Come back to winter
all year round.
491
00:38:06,735 --> 00:38:10,437
Come back to parkas
and goat's cheese.
492
00:38:10,439 --> 00:38:12,939
Finland knows what you want.
493
00:38:27,721 --> 00:38:30,757
Okay.
Well, we're all set.
494
00:38:30,759 --> 00:38:33,059
- Finland is here?
- Finland?
495
00:38:33,061 --> 00:38:34,994
No, this is the valley.
496
00:38:34,996 --> 00:38:38,498
Finland is the capital of Norway.
God, you guys sure learn fast.
497
00:38:38,500 --> 00:38:40,166
I'm
sorry I was such an asshole.
498
00:38:40,168 --> 00:38:43,603
Oh! I see you found
a cable station.
499
00:38:43,605 --> 00:38:46,973
Valerie, are you there?
Please pick up.
500
00:38:46,975 --> 00:38:49,476
Did Ted call?
501
00:38:49,478 --> 00:38:51,611
I'll be over right
after work tonight.
502
00:38:51,613 --> 00:38:54,714
- Okay, honey? Bye.
- Oh, my God! What am I gonna do?
503
00:38:54,716 --> 00:38:57,116
Ted is, like, a trained doctor.
504
00:38:57,118 --> 00:39:00,820
One look at you guys and
he'll know you're not local.
505
00:39:00,822 --> 00:39:02,555
Oh, wow.
506
00:39:02,557 --> 00:39:05,124
If I only had about
zillion gallons of Nair.
507
00:39:05,126 --> 00:39:07,026
- Nair. Nair.
- Nair.
508
00:39:09,730 --> 00:39:12,165
♪ I'm a sex pixie ♪
509
00:39:12,167 --> 00:39:14,033
♪ Is that okay? ♪
510
00:39:14,035 --> 00:39:16,636
♪ Do do do do do ♪
511
00:39:16,638 --> 00:39:20,673
♪ Do do do do ♪
♪ do do do do ♪
512
00:39:20,675 --> 00:39:24,244
♪ Hey, hey, ♪
♪ do do do do ♪
513
00:39:24,246 --> 00:39:26,880
♪ Do do do do ♪
514
00:39:26,882 --> 00:39:29,649
♪ Da-do, oh, oh, oh ♪
515
00:39:29,651 --> 00:39:31,518
- Candy, whatever you do, don't freak out.
516
00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:33,586
- Valerie!
- I mean it, don't freak out.
517
00:39:33,588 --> 00:39:36,189
- Promise me you will not freak out.
- Stop! You are freaking me out!
518
00:39:36,191 --> 00:39:38,124
Okay, okay.
Oh, my God.
519
00:39:38,126 --> 00:39:41,027
Um… a UFO landed
in my pool
520
00:39:41,029 --> 00:39:43,029
and they captured me,
but we made friends,
521
00:39:43,031 --> 00:39:45,965
and I fed them Pop Tarts
and they're here now,
522
00:39:45,967 --> 00:39:47,967
but Ted's coming home tonight,
so you've got to cut their hair.
523
00:39:47,969 --> 00:39:51,738
- What did you say?
- Oh, nothing. I'm on drugs.
524
00:39:51,740 --> 00:39:53,573
Candy, you gotta help them.
525
00:39:53,575 --> 00:39:55,542
Would you listen to yourself?
526
00:39:55,544 --> 00:39:57,810
Valerie, no man is worth
527
00:39:57,812 --> 00:40:00,547
getting yourself
in this state over.
528
00:40:00,549 --> 00:40:03,116
Mel Gibson, maybe, but not Ted!
529
00:40:03,118 --> 00:40:04,884
Valerie, come here.
530
00:40:04,886 --> 00:40:07,153
Just sit down, honey.
531
00:40:07,155 --> 00:40:09,722
Relax.
Have a mental Margarita.
532
00:40:09,724 --> 00:40:11,925
Candy, now I'm gonna
show you something
533
00:40:11,927 --> 00:40:15,028
that's gonna totally change your
life completely, forever, okay?
534
00:40:15,030 --> 00:40:17,864
Well, in that case,
let me get a cigarette.
535
00:40:23,070 --> 00:40:26,306
You got little alien house guests…
let's see 'em.
536
00:40:29,109 --> 00:40:31,844
Shit, Valerie!
537
00:40:31,846 --> 00:40:34,914
- Those are aliens!
- I told you.
538
00:40:34,916 --> 00:40:37,150
Oh, God!
Oh, shit!
539
00:40:37,152 --> 00:40:38,885
Valerie! Valerie!
540
00:40:38,887 --> 00:40:42,622
Those are… those are big…
aliens!
541
00:40:42,624 --> 00:40:46,759
What do they want from us?
What do you want from us?
542
00:40:46,761 --> 00:40:48,828
Did they take control
of your brain?
543
00:40:48,830 --> 00:40:50,897
Oh… I don't
think so.
544
00:40:50,899 --> 00:40:54,334
- Can they talk?
- ♪ What'll it be, hmm? ♪
545
00:40:54,336 --> 00:40:56,002
I ate all the Frusen Gladje.
546
00:40:56,004 --> 00:40:57,937
My panty shields make me
feel fresh all day.
547
00:40:57,939 --> 00:41:00,640
Are they straight?
548
00:41:00,642 --> 00:41:02,642
I don't know.
They're aliens.
549
00:41:02,644 --> 00:41:04,377
This is Mac,
550
00:41:04,379 --> 00:41:06,613
and this is,
uh… Zeebo,
551
00:41:06,615 --> 00:41:09,182
- and this is Wiploc.
552
00:41:09,184 --> 00:41:11,718
Well, they're just darling.
553
00:41:11,720 --> 00:41:13,353
Get 'em out of here.
554
00:41:13,355 --> 00:41:15,321
They can't leave
until the pool is drained
555
00:41:15,323 --> 00:41:17,824
and you know Ted, I mean, if
he finds out they're aliens,
556
00:41:17,826 --> 00:41:20,827
he'll wanna call Washington
or dissect them or something.
557
00:41:20,829 --> 00:41:24,097
I mean, I think we could make
them look more sort of human.
558
00:41:24,099 --> 00:41:26,366
Yeah, I thought you never
wanted to see Ted again.
559
00:41:26,368 --> 00:41:29,202
I don't. I just want
to talk to him.
560
00:41:29,204 --> 00:41:31,838
Valerie, this is insane.
561
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:34,641
Oh, God. They're, like,
throwing up on my stuff!
562
00:41:34,643 --> 00:41:36,242
VALERIE:
Come on, Candy.
563
00:41:39,680 --> 00:41:42,048
Well, I see split ends
are universal.
564
00:41:45,185 --> 00:41:47,687
Lost in space
with no conditioner, huh?
565
00:41:47,689 --> 00:41:49,822
I think they've been
up there a long time.
566
00:41:52,826 --> 00:41:54,861
Well, it's all dead.
It's got to come off.
567
00:41:54,863 --> 00:41:58,031
- Can you do it?
- Does Tina Turner wear a wig?
568
00:41:58,033 --> 00:42:00,133
- That's a wig?
- That's a wig.
569
00:42:00,135 --> 00:42:03,169
- Great!
- No, thanks. It's got spit on it.
570
00:42:03,171 --> 00:42:06,305
- I'll get clothes!
- But if I find one flea, the deal's off!
571
00:42:08,942 --> 00:42:12,278
Okay, Val, are you ready?
I think they're almost done.
572
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:15,081
Okay, with the big red one I
went for the blond-surfer look.
573
00:42:19,086 --> 00:42:20,353
Wow!
574
00:42:20,355 --> 00:42:22,755
Which one is that?
575
00:42:22,757 --> 00:42:25,958
Wiploc.
We are human now!
576
00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:28,695
I don't believe it!
He's even cute!
577
00:42:28,697 --> 00:42:30,463
CANDY:
I know! Bitchin', huh?
578
00:42:32,166 --> 00:42:35,068
Val, you won't believe this.
579
00:42:35,070 --> 00:42:37,403
Okay…
580
00:42:37,405 --> 00:42:39,872
surprise!
581
00:42:42,810 --> 00:42:47,046
- Is that Zeebo?
- Oh, my God! You're, like, totally black!
582
00:42:50,884 --> 00:42:52,985
Okay… and…
583
00:42:52,987 --> 00:42:55,288
behind door number three…
584
00:42:55,290 --> 00:42:57,423
this is the ultimate!
585
00:43:05,899 --> 00:43:07,867
Wow!
586
00:43:09,937 --> 00:43:11,838
You're incredible.
587
00:43:15,909 --> 00:43:19,278
Well, it was easy. You know,
I started on poodles.
588
00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:21,347
Good?
589
00:43:21,349 --> 00:43:23,483
Real good.
590
00:43:27,121 --> 00:43:29,822
Okay, okay. Group picture.
Come on.
591
00:43:29,824 --> 00:43:31,924
Come on.
Get down there.
592
00:43:34,862 --> 00:43:36,295
All right…
593
00:43:36,297 --> 00:43:39,031
now say, Velveeta Slices.
594
00:43:39,033 --> 00:43:41,167
- Sl… vegakld.
- Vel… salksi.
595
00:43:44,071 --> 00:43:46,339
Okay, you guys,
what's the plan for tonight?
596
00:43:46,341 --> 00:43:48,908
Whoa! Candy,
reality check.
597
00:43:48,910 --> 00:43:51,010
We can't go out with these guys.
They're aliens.
598
00:43:51,012 --> 00:43:54,113
So?
They can still be dates!
599
00:43:54,115 --> 00:43:56,549
Do you guys have Margaritas
on your planet?
600
00:43:56,551 --> 00:43:59,485
Candy, it's just not safe. I'll
give you a life home and that's it.
601
00:43:59,487 --> 00:44:01,788
Don't get your panties
in a bunch.
602
00:44:01,790 --> 00:44:04,490
We're with three major cute
guys and it's Saturday night!
603
00:44:04,492 --> 00:44:06,459
Come on!
604
00:44:13,801 --> 00:44:16,169
CANDY: You guys are so lucky
you crashed in the valley.
605
00:44:16,171 --> 00:44:18,304
I mean, it's the baddest
place on earth.
606
00:44:27,014 --> 00:44:29,882
Candy, sit down!
607
00:44:29,884 --> 00:44:31,951
Hi, sweets.
608
00:44:31,953 --> 00:44:36,022
I think we'd like to keep
a low profile, Candy.
609
00:44:36,024 --> 00:44:38,424
Guys, whatcha doing later?
610
00:44:42,029 --> 00:44:45,164
You know, I never would have
believed that this could happen.
611
00:44:45,166 --> 00:44:48,000
What, that you'd be cruising the
boulevard with shaved Martians?
612
00:44:48,002 --> 00:44:51,204
No. That Ted would
do this to me.
613
00:44:51,206 --> 00:44:54,273
Men, boy. Give 'em enough rope
and they'll dig their own grave.
614
00:44:54,275 --> 00:44:58,244
- So true.
- He said he wanted one last fling.
615
00:44:58,246 --> 00:45:01,047
Maybe that's normal,
I don't know.
616
00:45:01,049 --> 00:45:03,115
I'm sure we'll be happy
once we're married,
617
00:45:03,117 --> 00:45:06,385
but I just can't pretend like
this didn't happen, you know?
618
00:45:06,387 --> 00:45:11,457
Valerie, you work so hard to make
Ted happy. Who is making you happy?
619
00:45:19,132 --> 00:45:22,168
- ALL: Whoo!
- Finland babes!
620
00:45:25,306 --> 00:45:27,540
Hey, didn't you go
to Van Nuys High?
621
00:45:27,542 --> 00:45:30,142
Van Nuys High?
622
00:45:30,144 --> 00:45:33,512
- Aren't you Terry Harper's brother?
- Terry Harper's brother?
623
00:45:35,016 --> 00:45:37,116
Someone oughta
hose those girls down.
624
00:45:37,118 --> 00:45:40,086
- Wanna party?
- Wanna party?
625
00:45:40,088 --> 00:45:41,420
Yeah, come on!
626
00:45:43,257 --> 00:45:45,124
Wiploc!
627
00:45:47,261 --> 00:45:49,228
Wiploc!
628
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:54,967
CANDY:
Look! There they are!
629
00:45:58,505 --> 00:46:00,373
Okay, don't worry.
I'll go get him.
630
00:46:00,375 --> 00:46:02,642
- Me, too.
- Me, too, too.
631
00:46:02,644 --> 00:46:04,210
Wait, I don't think
we all should go…
632
00:46:04,212 --> 00:46:06,445
Oh, it's only
gonna take a minute.
633
00:46:11,285 --> 00:46:13,219
Come on, you guys,
what are you doing?
634
00:46:14,655 --> 00:46:17,189
635
00:46:21,295 --> 00:46:24,063
♪ When I need something ♪
♪ to help me unwind ♪
636
00:46:24,065 --> 00:46:28,034
♪ I find a six-foot baby ♪
♪ with a one-track mind ♪
637
00:46:28,036 --> 00:46:32,038
♪ Smart guys are nowhere, ♪
♪ they make demands ♪
638
00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:35,074
♪ Give me a moron ♪
♪ with talented hands… ♪
639
00:46:35,076 --> 00:46:37,176
Where did you buy those?
640
00:46:37,178 --> 00:46:40,179
- They're my dad's.
- Those are fabulous.
641
00:46:40,181 --> 00:46:42,048
I know.
642
00:46:42,050 --> 00:46:43,716
♪ …fall in love ♪
♪ till we're done ♪
643
00:46:43,718 --> 00:46:46,052
♪ Then they're ♪
♪ out in the hall ♪
644
00:46:46,054 --> 00:46:47,353
♪ I like 'em big ♪
645
00:46:47,355 --> 00:46:49,455
♪ And stupid ♪
646
00:46:49,457 --> 00:46:51,057
♪ I like 'em big ♪
647
00:46:51,059 --> 00:46:52,959
♪ And real dumb ♪
648
00:46:52,961 --> 00:46:54,593
♪ I like 'em big ♪
649
00:46:54,595 --> 00:46:56,562
♪ And stupid ♪
650
00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:04,170
♪ What kind of guy ♪
♪ does a lot for me? ♪
651
00:47:04,172 --> 00:47:07,039
♪ Superman ♪
♪ with a lobotomy ♪
652
00:47:07,041 --> 00:47:08,607
♪ My father's ♪
♪ out of Harvard ♪
653
00:47:08,609 --> 00:47:10,343
♪ My brother's out of Yale ♪
654
00:47:10,345 --> 00:47:12,478
♪ But the guy ♪
♪ I took home last night ♪
655
00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:14,180
♪ Just got out of jail… ♪
656
00:47:14,182 --> 00:47:17,083
Valerie! Hi!
Over here!
657
00:47:17,085 --> 00:47:18,718
- Candy!
- Hi!
658
00:47:18,720 --> 00:47:21,153
Are you nuts?
What are you doing?
659
00:47:21,155 --> 00:47:23,122
Having cocktails.
660
00:47:24,191 --> 00:47:26,759
Alaskan polar bear heater.
661
00:47:26,761 --> 00:47:29,261
Candy, give me a break.
Ted is coming home tonight
662
00:47:29,263 --> 00:47:32,465
and there's a UFO
in my pool. A UFO!
663
00:47:32,467 --> 00:47:36,235
B.F.D. Ted's not gonna
be there for a few hours.
664
00:47:36,237 --> 00:47:39,271
- Just chill out, Val.
- We have to get these guys out of here
665
00:47:39,273 --> 00:47:41,474
before anyone figures out
they're aliens.
666
00:47:41,476 --> 00:47:43,776
No one's going to know
they're aliens, okay?
667
00:47:43,778 --> 00:47:47,413
Tonya!
668
00:47:47,415 --> 00:47:49,281
Hi. You know Val.
669
00:47:49,283 --> 00:47:52,051
- And this is Mac, Wiploc, and Zeebo.
- Hi.
670
00:47:52,053 --> 00:47:55,254
They're from Mars or something!
Could you die?
671
00:47:55,256 --> 00:47:57,323
Hey, Zeebo, wanna dance?
672
00:47:58,625 --> 00:48:01,327
- Wanna dance?
- Great idea.
673
00:48:03,764 --> 00:48:05,331
Wiploc.
674
00:48:06,767 --> 00:48:09,735
- Should I dance?
- Sure.
675
00:48:09,737 --> 00:48:12,304
Fine.
Hey, party down.
676
00:48:12,306 --> 00:48:15,207
When you're ready for your
chauffeur, I'll be out on the patio.
677
00:48:18,045 --> 00:48:19,812
What's her problem?
678
00:48:22,249 --> 00:48:24,316
Two weeks?
679
00:48:24,318 --> 00:48:25,818
Whoa!
680
00:48:25,820 --> 00:48:28,187
♪ …'Cause ♪
♪ it was so stupid ♪
681
00:48:28,189 --> 00:48:31,624
♪ The bigger they come, ♪
♪ the harder I fall ♪
682
00:48:31,626 --> 00:48:33,492
♪ In love till we're done ♪
683
00:48:33,494 --> 00:48:35,494
♪ Then they're ♪
♪ out in the hall… ♪
684
00:48:35,496 --> 00:48:38,597
Come on. Let's dance.
Whoo!
685
00:48:38,599 --> 00:48:40,566
♪ I like 'em big ♪
686
00:48:40,568 --> 00:48:42,334
♪ And real dumb ♪
687
00:48:42,336 --> 00:48:44,170
♪ I like 'em big and… ♪
688
00:48:44,172 --> 00:48:45,438
He left?
689
00:48:49,176 --> 00:48:51,410
♪ She likes 'em big ♪
690
00:48:51,412 --> 00:48:52,845
♪ And stupid. ♪
691
00:48:54,081 --> 00:48:55,581
692
00:49:06,693 --> 00:49:09,662
You, go rest your thumbs.
I'll drive.
693
00:49:40,694 --> 00:49:43,262
You can actually play that?
694
00:49:43,264 --> 00:49:46,398
Valerie, are we limp
and hard to manage?
695
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:50,269
Oh, no, no.
You're fine.
696
00:49:50,271 --> 00:49:51,837
I'm sorry.
697
00:49:51,839 --> 00:49:54,273
I just don't feel
like talking much.
698
00:49:54,275 --> 00:49:58,310
I guess, I figured that everything
would just fall into place
699
00:49:58,312 --> 00:50:01,780
- if I found Mr. Right.
- Mr. Right?
700
00:50:01,782 --> 00:50:03,682
Yeah.
701
00:50:03,684 --> 00:50:06,685
Mr. Right is like the guy
you dream of meeting
702
00:50:06,687 --> 00:50:08,554
ever since you're a little girl.
703
00:50:08,556 --> 00:50:12,758
And you'd go anyplace
or do anything to be together.
704
00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:14,660
And he feels
the same way about you
705
00:50:14,662 --> 00:50:18,364
because you're right
for each other.
706
00:50:18,366 --> 00:50:21,433
I don't know.
Maybe I'm kidding myself.
707
00:50:21,435 --> 00:50:23,269
Maybe there's no such thing.
708
00:50:31,845 --> 00:50:34,280
♪ Baby gonna ♪
♪ shake all night ♪
709
00:50:34,282 --> 00:50:36,182
♪ Baby gonna ♪
♪ shake it right ♪
710
00:50:36,184 --> 00:50:38,417
♪ Baby gonna ♪
♪ shake so fast ♪
711
00:50:38,419 --> 00:50:40,319
♪ Out on the floor ♪
712
00:50:40,321 --> 00:50:42,321
♪ Baby gonna ♪
♪ shake all night ♪
713
00:50:42,323 --> 00:50:44,356
♪ Baby gonna ♪
♪ shake it right ♪
714
00:50:44,358 --> 00:50:45,791
♪ Baby gonna ♪
♪ shake so fast ♪
715
00:50:45,793 --> 00:50:47,426
♪ - Hey, baby. ♪
♪ - Hi. ♪
716
00:50:47,428 --> 00:50:49,929
Why be with a zero when you
can dance with a hero?
717
00:50:52,933 --> 00:50:54,833
♪ Oh, baby ♪
718
00:50:56,236 --> 00:50:58,437
♪ You got to tell me ♪
719
00:50:58,439 --> 00:51:01,440
♪ Where it takes us ♪
♪ you don't care ♪
720
00:51:01,442 --> 00:51:03,909
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
721
00:51:03,911 --> 00:51:06,612
♪ Baby, just fix up ♪
♪ your hair ♪
722
00:51:06,614 --> 00:51:12,685
♪ It doesn't matter ♪
♪ what you wear to me ♪
723
00:51:12,687 --> 00:51:14,820
♪ Get yourself back ♪
♪ in your car ♪
724
00:51:14,822 --> 00:51:17,890
♪ You won't have to ♪
♪ go too far ♪
725
00:51:17,892 --> 00:51:20,893
♪ To see, oh, baby ♪
726
00:51:20,895 --> 00:51:22,828
♪ Baby gonna ♪
♪ shake all night ♪
727
00:51:22,830 --> 00:51:24,997
♪ Baby gonna ♪
♪ shake it right ♪
728
00:51:24,999 --> 00:51:26,765
♪ Baby gonna ♪
♪ shake so fast ♪
729
00:51:26,767 --> 00:51:28,867
♪ Out on the floor ♪
730
00:51:28,869 --> 00:51:30,903
♪ Come on, now, hurry ♪
731
00:51:30,905 --> 00:51:32,938
♪ There's always something ♪
♪ we can do ♪
732
00:51:32,940 --> 00:51:36,709
Yo, baby. Why be with a hero
when you can dance with a zero?
733
00:51:36,711 --> 00:51:38,911
♪ Don't have to worry ♪
734
00:51:38,913 --> 00:51:42,248
♪ As long as I'm out there ♪
♪ with you ♪
735
00:51:42,250 --> 00:51:44,950
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
736
00:51:44,952 --> 00:51:47,353
♪ Baby, just fix up ♪
♪ your hair ♪
737
00:51:47,355 --> 00:51:53,359
♪ It doesn't matter ♪
♪ what you wear to me ♪
738
00:51:53,361 --> 00:51:55,527
♪ Get yourself back ♪
♪ in your car ♪
739
00:51:55,529 --> 00:51:58,030
♪ You won't have to ♪
♪ go too far… ♪
740
00:51:58,032 --> 00:52:00,666
- Whoa.
- Hey, hey, hey!
741
00:52:00,668 --> 00:52:02,001
Back off, Jack!
742
00:52:02,003 --> 00:52:04,536
The lucky lady's
with me, all right?
743
00:52:04,538 --> 00:52:06,405
And don't be copping
my dance moves.
744
00:52:06,407 --> 00:52:08,874
I'll dance with you both.
I don't care.
745
00:52:08,876 --> 00:52:10,643
No, no, no.
You don't understand.
746
00:52:10,645 --> 00:52:12,878
He can't dance.
747
00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:15,681
All right. I know
he can't do this.
748
00:52:17,550 --> 00:52:19,485
♪ Baby gonna ♪
♪ shake all night ♪
749
00:52:19,487 --> 00:52:21,787
♪ Baby gonna ♪
♪ shake it right ♪
750
00:52:21,789 --> 00:52:24,390
♪ Baby gonna ♪
♪ shake so fast ♪
751
00:52:24,392 --> 00:52:25,958
♪ Out on the floor ♪
752
00:52:25,960 --> 00:52:27,726
♪ Baby gonna ♪
♪ shake all night ♪
753
00:52:27,728 --> 00:52:29,962
♪ Baby gonna ♪
♪ shake it right ♪
754
00:52:29,964 --> 00:52:31,797
♪ Baby gonna ♪
♪ shake so fast ♪
755
00:52:31,799 --> 00:52:34,533
- ♪ Out on the floor ♪
- Yeah, go!
756
00:52:34,535 --> 00:52:36,302
♪ Shake all night ♪
757
00:52:36,304 --> 00:52:38,470
♪ Don't you ♪
♪ want to shake it? ♪
758
00:52:40,373 --> 00:52:43,676
♪ Come on, shake it, baby ♪
759
00:52:43,678 --> 00:52:45,044
♪ Shake it, baby ♪
760
00:52:45,046 --> 00:52:47,012
♪ Shake it, baby, ♪
♪ shake it ♪
761
00:52:47,014 --> 00:52:48,847
♪ Dance all night ♪
762
00:52:48,849 --> 00:52:50,816
♪ Out on the floor ♪
763
00:52:57,524 --> 00:52:58,924
Come on, man.
764
00:53:02,696 --> 00:53:04,897
Hot damn!
Hot damn!
765
00:53:07,834 --> 00:53:12,404
♪ There's nothing ♪
♪ I'd rather do ♪
766
00:53:12,406 --> 00:53:16,909
♪ Right here ♪
♪ while you're mine ♪
767
00:53:16,911 --> 00:53:19,812
♪ Being here with you ♪
768
00:53:19,814 --> 00:53:23,115
♪ Leaving it ♪
♪ all behind, baby ♪
769
00:53:25,885 --> 00:53:28,887
All right!
Hey! Whoo!
770
00:53:39,366 --> 00:53:41,467
♪ Baby, just fix up ♪
♪ your hair ♪
771
00:53:41,469 --> 00:53:47,439
♪ It doesn't matter ♪
♪ what you wear to me ♪
772
00:53:47,441 --> 00:53:49,575
♪ Get yourself back ♪
♪ in your car ♪
773
00:53:49,577 --> 00:53:52,578
♪ You won't have to ♪
♪ go too far ♪
774
00:53:52,580 --> 00:53:55,547
♪ To see, oh, baby ♪
775
00:53:55,549 --> 00:53:57,583
♪ Baby gonna ♪
♪ shake all night ♪
776
00:53:57,585 --> 00:53:59,718
♪ Baby gonna ♪
♪ shake it right ♪
777
00:53:59,720 --> 00:54:01,820
♪ Baby gonna ♪
♪ shake so fast ♪
778
00:54:01,822 --> 00:54:03,822
♪ Out on the floor ♪
779
00:54:03,824 --> 00:54:05,758
♪ Baby gonna ♪
♪ shake all night ♪
780
00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:07,693
♪ Baby gonna ♪
♪ shake it right ♪
781
00:54:07,695 --> 00:54:10,396
♪ Baby gonna ♪
♪ shake so fast ♪
782
00:54:10,398 --> 00:54:12,431
♪ Out on the floor ♪
783
00:54:12,433 --> 00:54:13,632
♪ Shake all night ♪
784
00:54:13,634 --> 00:54:17,035
- Damn!
- ♪ Baby. ♪
785
00:54:26,146 --> 00:54:28,714
I'm going home with him.
786
00:54:28,716 --> 00:54:31,617
I'm going home with him.
787
00:54:31,619 --> 00:54:33,585
I'm going home with him.
788
00:54:35,989 --> 00:54:37,890
Bitch.
789
00:54:37,892 --> 00:54:41,527
You know, I don't even know
what planet you're from.
790
00:54:41,529 --> 00:54:43,028
Jhazalla.
791
00:54:43,030 --> 00:54:46,532
Oh. We've only been
as far as the moon.
792
00:54:50,036 --> 00:54:52,037
You know, at first,
793
00:54:52,039 --> 00:54:53,906
I thought you kind of looked
794
00:54:53,908 --> 00:54:56,642
like a giant bigfoot
or something,
795
00:54:56,644 --> 00:55:00,612
but now, I mean, if I didn't
know you were an alien,
796
00:55:00,614 --> 00:55:03,482
I would just think that you were
797
00:55:03,484 --> 00:55:05,551
a really cute guy…
798
00:55:05,553 --> 00:55:07,986
who, I'm sure, has a girlfriend.
799
00:55:07,988 --> 00:55:11,457
No Mr. Right girlfriend.
800
00:55:21,167 --> 00:55:23,135
801
00:55:25,004 --> 00:55:27,506
My God, that's Wiploc.
802
00:55:27,508 --> 00:55:30,008
♪ Hit me ♪
803
00:55:30,010 --> 00:55:32,711
MAN:
All right! All right!
804
00:55:47,093 --> 00:55:49,194
- Give me your autograph.
- On my forehead.
805
00:55:49,196 --> 00:55:50,996
Sign these.
806
00:55:54,133 --> 00:55:57,102
Candy, I can't believe you're frenching
an alien in front of all these people.
807
00:56:01,908 --> 00:56:05,878
We go, okay? Come on. Wiploc.
808
00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:09,248
No, I want to be zero.
I want to be zero.
809
00:56:11,184 --> 00:56:13,552
- No, no, no.
810
00:56:17,690 --> 00:56:20,592
Candy, uh, I'll call ya.
811
00:56:20,594 --> 00:56:23,529
- Oh, what was it like?
- Oh, my God! You're so lucky!
812
00:56:23,531 --> 00:56:25,831
Did you get his number?
813
00:56:25,833 --> 00:56:28,534
I want his baby.
814
00:56:30,737 --> 00:56:32,538
Sweetheart?
815
00:56:32,540 --> 00:56:34,540
Sweetheart, I'm sorry.
816
00:56:34,542 --> 00:56:36,241
Val?
817
00:56:39,746 --> 00:56:41,880
Honey?
818
00:56:41,882 --> 00:56:44,016
Hey, Val?
819
00:56:48,555 --> 00:56:51,056
What?
Oh, wait a second.
820
00:56:51,058 --> 00:56:53,559
They said the Commodore
would stand up to anything.
821
00:56:53,561 --> 00:56:55,227
-
- Ow!
822
00:56:55,229 --> 00:56:58,764
Beemer?
Beemer?
823
00:57:00,633 --> 00:57:02,834
Beemer.
824
00:57:02,836 --> 00:57:05,671
Astin, where's Martin?
825
00:57:05,673 --> 00:57:07,773
Where's Martin? Where's Val?
Alright, don't… don't panic.
826
00:57:07,775 --> 00:57:11,043
She probably wasn't here
when it happened.
827
00:57:11,045 --> 00:57:13,178
Operator, give me the police.
This is an emergency.
828
00:57:17,350 --> 00:57:19,318
829
00:57:26,793 --> 00:57:30,062
Police?
This is Dr. Gallagher.
830
00:57:30,064 --> 00:57:32,798
I'd like to report a break-in
831
00:57:32,800 --> 00:57:35,867
and… and a possible kidnapping.
832
00:57:35,869 --> 00:57:38,103
Oh, God.
Ted's here.
833
00:57:38,105 --> 00:57:41,173
You guys, act human, okay?
834
00:57:41,175 --> 00:57:44,076
Just act human.
835
00:57:44,078 --> 00:57:46,378
Oh, sweetheart,
you're all right.
836
00:57:46,380 --> 00:57:49,348
Oh, I was so worried about you.
837
00:57:49,350 --> 00:57:51,850
When I came home, the house
was totally wrecked.
838
00:57:54,955 --> 00:57:58,657
- Who are they?
- Who? Those guys?
839
00:57:58,659 --> 00:58:00,726
- Yeah.
- A band.
840
00:58:00,728 --> 00:58:03,729
- Boy, I'm totally clear.
841
00:58:03,731 --> 00:58:07,032
- ZEEBO: What's up, Doc?
- You mean like a rock 'n' roll band?
842
00:58:07,034 --> 00:58:09,334
What are you doing
with a band, Val?
843
00:58:09,336 --> 00:58:12,004
I won them on MTV.
844
00:58:12,006 --> 00:58:15,007
I won an MTV weekend
with a band.
845
00:58:15,009 --> 00:58:17,976
Hi. I am, uh, Mac.
846
00:58:17,978 --> 00:58:19,745
How is it hanging,
Mr. Dude?
847
00:58:19,747 --> 00:58:22,814
- Dr. Dude.
- Dr. Dude.
848
00:58:22,816 --> 00:58:24,916
Oh, no, Val.
Wait a minute.
849
00:58:24,918 --> 00:58:26,918
Listen, I came home
to talk to you alone.
850
00:58:26,920 --> 00:58:29,354
I'm sorry, fellas.
This is private.
851
00:58:29,356 --> 00:58:31,823
- I'm sure you won't mind when I ask you to leave.
- Oh, leave? No, no.
852
00:58:31,825 --> 00:58:34,359
They can't leave. They're
spending the weekend.
853
00:58:34,361 --> 00:58:36,962
No, no, Val. They can't
spend the weekend.
854
00:58:36,964 --> 00:58:39,931
- This is my house. I say they're out of here.
- Your house? Wait, wait, wait.
855
00:58:39,933 --> 00:58:42,300
I think I threw
you out, Dr. Love.
856
00:58:42,302 --> 00:58:44,169
Oh, yeah? Well, now I'm
gonna throw them out.
857
00:58:44,171 --> 00:58:46,004
- So what about that?
- No, you're not.
858
00:58:46,006 --> 00:58:48,006
- Yes, I am. They're out of…
- No…
859
00:58:48,008 --> 00:58:50,275
- I won them. I get to…
- What?
860
00:58:50,277 --> 00:58:55,947
- You're tearing me apart!
- Val, these guys are too weird.
861
00:58:55,949 --> 00:58:58,784
- You have no business being with people like that.
- Listen, I never won a band
862
00:58:58,786 --> 00:59:00,886
before and I get them for the whole
weekend, so they're staying.
863
00:59:00,888 --> 00:59:02,888
I want you to be happy.
That's fine, but…
864
00:59:02,890 --> 00:59:04,956
- Dr. Dude?
- What is it now?
865
00:59:06,260 --> 00:59:09,194
- For you is good.
- You animal!
866
00:59:09,196 --> 00:59:12,297
I oughta give you a tracheotomy.
867
00:59:12,299 --> 00:59:14,466
- Do you know who that was? That was Mercedes.
- No, Ted, don't!
868
00:59:14,468 --> 00:59:17,135
My most expensive fish! Do you
know how much Mercedes cost me?!
869
00:59:17,137 --> 00:59:19,471
- He cost me 300 bucks!
- Hey, what's going on here?
870
00:59:19,473 --> 00:59:21,339
All right, all right.
Break it up.
871
00:59:21,341 --> 00:59:24,209
- Hey, hey! Come on!
- Break it up.
872
00:59:24,211 --> 00:59:27,813
- What are you doing?
- Who's Dr. Gallagher?
873
00:59:27,815 --> 00:59:31,483
- I'm Dr. Gallagher.
- Uh-huh. I'm Officer Demonte.
874
00:59:31,485 --> 00:59:33,318
This is Officer Murphy.
875
00:59:33,320 --> 00:59:36,054
You reported a break-in
and possible kidnapping?
876
00:59:36,056 --> 00:59:40,358
Yes, I did, officer, but, thank
God, she's here now and she's fine.
877
00:59:40,360 --> 00:59:43,929
However, these degenerates
broke into my home
878
00:59:43,931 --> 00:59:47,099
and destroyed my property and I
want them arrested right now.
879
00:59:47,101 --> 00:59:48,934
- They're MTV scum!
- All right.
880
00:59:48,936 --> 00:59:51,837
Ma'am, you mind telling us
what's really going on here?
881
00:59:51,839 --> 00:59:55,307
Officer, sir, this man
does not live here anymore,
882
00:59:55,309 --> 00:59:57,309
and he's strangling my guests.
883
00:59:57,311 --> 01:00:00,979
- He was eating my Blue-Gilled Dorky.
- Hey, watch your mouth!
884
01:00:00,981 --> 01:00:04,950
10-13. We got
a false report.
885
01:00:04,952 --> 01:00:07,819
Just a domestic dispute.
886
01:00:07,821 --> 01:00:11,123
His girlfriend dumped
him for a rock band.
887
01:00:11,125 --> 01:00:13,825
- That's bullshit!
- Hey, buddy.
888
01:00:13,827 --> 01:00:15,894
Maybe you need to go
someplace and cool off, huh?
889
01:00:15,896 --> 01:00:17,529
Let go of me!
I'm a doctor!
890
01:00:17,531 --> 01:00:20,165
Good, if we have to bust your arm,
you can put on your own cast.
891
01:00:20,167 --> 01:00:23,902
You're right, Val. There is a
lot I don't know about you,
892
01:00:23,904 --> 01:00:26,838
but if you thought I was gonna
spend the rest of my life with you
893
01:00:26,840 --> 01:00:30,976
and your weird friends and that
psychotic cat of yours, you're crazy!
894
01:00:30,978 --> 01:00:34,179
- The wedding's off, Val!
- Come on, buddy.
895
01:00:38,951 --> 01:00:41,419
ZEEBO: You wanna
dance with a zero?
896
01:00:41,421 --> 01:00:43,455
I'm sorry.
897
01:00:43,457 --> 01:00:46,291
I think I have to
go to my room now.
898
01:01:21,894 --> 01:01:23,929
Is Ted coming back?
899
01:01:28,035 --> 01:01:31,336
No. Ted doesn't
wanna come back.
900
01:01:31,338 --> 01:01:33,338
I don't know what Ted wants,
901
01:01:33,340 --> 01:01:36,041
but it's not me.
902
01:01:36,043 --> 01:01:38,443
What does Valerie want?
903
01:01:40,046 --> 01:01:44,349
I don't know.
I just wanna be happy.
904
01:01:44,351 --> 01:01:46,218
Mac could make Valerie happy.
905
01:01:48,554 --> 01:01:52,390
Thanks, but I don't think anybody could
make me feel very good right now.
906
01:01:52,392 --> 01:01:57,062
Mac could make Valerie feel
very, very good.
907
01:01:59,065 --> 01:02:01,566
Wait a minute. Are you,
like, coming on to me?
908
01:02:01,568 --> 01:02:04,469
Is this a pass? Because,
I mean, if it is,
909
01:02:04,471 --> 01:02:07,405
sex is, like, totally
out of the question.
910
01:02:07,407 --> 01:02:09,407
What is sex?
911
01:02:09,409 --> 01:02:13,578
Sex…
you know, making love.
912
01:02:13,580 --> 01:02:16,481
A man and a woman
like each other,
913
01:02:16,483 --> 01:02:19,017
and they take
their clothes off, and…
914
01:02:19,019 --> 01:02:22,287
- Okay.
- Well, no, no, no!
915
01:02:22,289 --> 01:02:26,091
We can't. No, because,
I mean, me and Ted are, uh…
916
01:02:26,093 --> 01:02:28,226
well, I guess we're not,
but, I mean, uh…
917
01:02:28,228 --> 01:02:31,162
we can't because, I mean,
you're an alien,
918
01:02:31,164 --> 01:02:33,198
and I'm from the valley.
919
01:02:33,200 --> 01:02:37,035
We may not even be, you know,
anatomically correct for each other.
920
01:02:37,037 --> 01:02:39,104
That could be a real problem.
921
01:02:39,106 --> 01:02:42,240
922
01:02:42,242 --> 01:02:45,477
No problem. But, I
mean, uh, no, no, no.
923
01:02:45,479 --> 01:02:48,480
I mean, it just wouldn't work.
924
01:02:48,482 --> 01:02:51,349
You're from out of town. The phone
bills would just be hell…
925
01:02:51,351 --> 01:02:53,585
Shh.
926
01:02:53,587 --> 01:02:56,621
Well, I just don't
want you to think
927
01:02:56,623 --> 01:03:01,126
- Earth girls are easy.
- What is easy?
928
01:03:01,128 --> 01:03:03,328
This is easy.
929
01:05:06,219 --> 01:05:09,654
- Oh!
930
01:05:21,700 --> 01:05:24,202
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah!
931
01:05:24,204 --> 01:05:27,272
- I told you not to have fun.
- I wasn't.
932
01:05:43,189 --> 01:05:44,556
Help!
933
01:05:59,605 --> 01:06:01,473
Ted!
934
01:06:03,609 --> 01:06:05,610
Help!
935
01:06:05,612 --> 01:06:09,180
Uh-oh.
Uh, don't go anywhere.
936
01:06:09,182 --> 01:06:10,782
I've been paged.
937
01:06:10,784 --> 01:06:13,751
- Oh, sweetheart.
- Ted.
938
01:06:13,753 --> 01:06:15,553
- Ted, make it stop.
- Oh, hey.
939
01:06:15,555 --> 01:06:17,388
Ted.
940
01:06:19,225 --> 01:06:21,759
What happened to my fish?
941
01:06:24,763 --> 01:06:26,731
Ted!
942
01:06:34,373 --> 01:06:36,341
Beemer!
943
01:06:36,343 --> 01:06:39,144
Your face!
What happened?
944
01:06:47,186 --> 01:06:50,655
Don't!
945
01:06:50,657 --> 01:06:52,690
Stop it, stop it!
946
01:07:32,398 --> 01:07:33,965
Hi.
947
01:07:35,301 --> 01:07:36,668
Hi.
948
01:07:40,973 --> 01:07:44,742
God, I had the weirdest
dream last night.
949
01:07:44,744 --> 01:07:46,911
- All I remember is…
- Shh.
950
01:07:52,585 --> 01:07:55,386
951
01:07:55,388 --> 01:07:57,989
You have
the strangest heartbeat.
952
01:07:57,991 --> 01:08:00,592
Sounds like you have two hearts.
953
01:08:00,594 --> 01:08:03,595
Yes.
Don't you?
954
01:08:04,897 --> 01:08:06,998
No, I just have one.
955
01:08:08,601 --> 01:08:10,868
Tell me about Zimbabwe.
956
01:08:10,870 --> 01:08:15,473
- Jhazalla?
- Jhazalla. Is it like Earth?
957
01:08:15,475 --> 01:08:17,742
Yes. It's beautiful.
958
01:08:17,744 --> 01:08:19,744
Sounds neat.
959
01:08:19,746 --> 01:08:23,748
- Is driving a UFO a good job?
- Oh, yes.
960
01:08:23,750 --> 01:08:26,584
- Do you own your own home or do you rent?
961
01:08:26,586 --> 01:08:28,386
No water.
Come look.
962
01:08:30,322 --> 01:08:32,523
963
01:09:36,522 --> 01:09:38,056
Hi, guys.
964
01:09:38,058 --> 01:09:39,824
Hope instant decaf is okay.
965
01:09:39,826 --> 01:09:41,592
Breakfast is on the way.
966
01:09:41,594 --> 01:09:43,795
I'm making pancakes
from scratch.
967
01:09:43,797 --> 01:09:46,464
Yeah. Valerie, uh…
968
01:09:46,466 --> 01:09:48,599
we can go home now.
969
01:09:48,601 --> 01:09:51,002
Oh.
970
01:09:51,004 --> 01:09:53,738
Gee… that's great.
971
01:09:55,607 --> 01:09:59,744
Wow. I didn't think
it would be so soon.
972
01:09:59,746 --> 01:10:02,513
Yeah.
973
01:10:02,515 --> 01:10:04,782
That's, uh, that's really good.
974
01:10:06,719 --> 01:10:10,521
Yeah. Uh, Valerie…
975
01:10:10,523 --> 01:10:15,526
-
- Well, I better go get that.
976
01:10:15,528 --> 01:10:16,961
WOODY:
Pool man!
977
01:10:18,764 --> 01:10:20,832
Hey, dudes, what's happening?
978
01:10:21,967 --> 01:10:24,769
- Woody.
- Woody.
979
01:10:24,771 --> 01:10:26,804
What is this?
980
01:10:26,806 --> 01:10:29,440
- A spaceship?
- Spaceship?
981
01:10:32,645 --> 01:10:34,846
- No way, Jose, Woody.
- No.
982
01:10:34,848 --> 01:10:36,781
- What is it, then?
- A car.
983
01:10:36,783 --> 01:10:39,684
Oh! That's why she
wanted me to drain it.
984
01:10:39,686 --> 01:10:41,919
She drove her car into the pool.
985
01:10:41,921 --> 01:10:44,756
I'm always doing that.
986
01:10:44,758 --> 01:10:47,158
Pretty rad car, though.
Where is it made?
987
01:10:47,160 --> 01:10:49,026
Finland.
988
01:10:49,028 --> 01:10:50,461
- Finland.
- Finland.
989
01:10:50,463 --> 01:10:52,597
Oh, I heard of that.
990
01:10:52,599 --> 01:10:56,467
Ted, bringing that girl
here was inexcusable,
991
01:10:56,469 --> 01:10:59,437
but now that I've slept on it,
992
01:10:59,439 --> 01:11:00,905
I could probably forgive you,
993
01:11:00,907 --> 01:11:03,074
but what about
calling off the wedding?
994
01:11:03,076 --> 01:11:05,610
Sweetheart, I didn't mean that.
995
01:11:05,612 --> 01:11:08,646
Marrying you is the most important
thing in the world right now.
996
01:11:08,648 --> 01:11:11,649
I need you to take care of me.
997
01:11:11,651 --> 01:11:15,653
And I promise, I won't so much as look
at another woman, so long as I live.
998
01:11:15,655 --> 01:11:20,057
Well, unless, of course, I'm
giving her a physical examination.
999
01:11:20,059 --> 01:11:21,759
Well, I hope not.
1000
01:11:21,761 --> 01:11:25,430
A relationship is a lot like
a porcelain nail, Ted.
1001
01:11:25,432 --> 01:11:27,999
You can break it and you
can glue it back together,
1002
01:11:28,001 --> 01:11:30,134
but it's not gonna be
as strong as it was
1003
01:11:30,136 --> 01:11:33,538
unless the person is really committed
and not bringing home nurses.
1004
01:11:33,540 --> 01:11:36,674
Whoa, you should've
seen me today, man.
1005
01:11:36,676 --> 01:11:39,677
Nothing but radical rips
all the way in.
1006
01:11:39,679 --> 01:11:42,213
You want some slushy?
1007
01:11:42,215 --> 01:11:46,117
Yeah, I was barely off my board
and the wahines are all over me.
1008
01:11:46,119 --> 01:11:48,619
Ew! Wahines!
1009
01:11:48,621 --> 01:11:52,190
Wahines.
You know, girls.
1010
01:11:52,192 --> 01:11:55,126
- Girls?
- You know girls?
1011
01:11:55,128 --> 01:11:57,495
Does the Woodburger know girls?
1012
01:11:57,497 --> 01:12:01,032
Pinocchio got a wooden butt?
1013
01:12:01,034 --> 01:12:04,635
I could fix you up with some
bodacious chicks just like that.
1014
01:12:04,637 --> 01:12:07,805
- Don't believe me?
- Like that.
1015
01:12:07,807 --> 01:12:11,709
Come on. Let's hit the beach.
Ride the wild bikinis!
1016
01:12:13,145 --> 01:12:15,012
- We go get Candy?
- Yeah.
1017
01:12:15,014 --> 01:12:17,815
Candy, gum, beer nuts,
anything you want.
1018
01:12:17,817 --> 01:12:20,184
Twizzlers. I got some Milk Duds.
1019
01:12:20,186 --> 01:12:22,186
You oughta lay off
coffee, though, man.
1020
01:12:22,188 --> 01:12:23,821
It'll kill you in a day.
1021
01:12:23,823 --> 01:12:25,490
I know where I'm gonna take you.
1022
01:12:25,492 --> 01:12:27,658
I'm gonna take you
to Zuma Beach.
1023
01:12:27,660 --> 01:12:31,629
I need surprises.
I need romance.
1024
01:12:31,631 --> 01:12:33,564
I mean, how long has it been
since you said
1025
01:12:33,566 --> 01:12:36,734
I love you, I need you,
1026
01:12:36,736 --> 01:12:39,003
I'm crazy about you?
1027
01:12:41,273 --> 01:12:42,940
Well, Ted?
1028
01:12:42,942 --> 01:12:45,009
Get in the car, will you?
1029
01:12:45,011 --> 01:12:48,045
Wiploc. Zeebo.
1030
01:12:51,584 --> 01:12:54,886
Zeebo going to Zuma Beach!
1031
01:12:56,256 --> 01:12:59,056
Zeebo!
Wiploc!
1032
01:12:59,058 --> 01:13:02,660
Hey, dudes. I just
remembered something.
1033
01:13:02,662 --> 01:13:05,796
What was it? Oh, yeah.
At the beach today,
1034
01:13:05,798 --> 01:13:08,933
- they're having a blond-of-the-month contest.
- Blond?
1035
01:13:08,935 --> 01:13:13,304
Yeah, you know, blonde beach bunnies.
California's finest.
1036
01:13:27,886 --> 01:13:30,888
♪ Because I'm blond ♪
♪ I don't have to think ♪
1037
01:13:30,890 --> 01:13:33,791
♪ I talk like a baby ♪
♪ and I never pay for drinks ♪
1038
01:13:33,793 --> 01:13:36,661
♪ Don't have to worry ♪
♪ about getting a man ♪
1039
01:13:36,663 --> 01:13:39,096
♪ If I keep this blond ♪
♪ and I keep these tanned ♪
1040
01:13:39,098 --> 01:13:41,966
♪ 'Cause I'm a blond, ♪
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
1041
01:13:41,968 --> 01:13:44,735
♪ 'Cause I'm a blond, ♪
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
1042
01:13:44,737 --> 01:13:47,939
♪ I see people working, ♪
♪ it just makes me giggle ♪
1043
01:13:47,941 --> 01:13:50,841
♪ 'Cause I don't have to work, ♪
♪ I just have to jiggle ♪
1044
01:13:50,843 --> 01:13:53,311
♪ 'Cause I'm blond, ♪
♪ b-l-o-n-d ♪
1045
01:13:53,313 --> 01:13:56,213
♪ 'Cause I'm a blond, ♪
♪ don't you wish you were me? ♪
1046
01:13:56,215 --> 01:13:59,116
♪ I never learned to read ♪
♪ and I never learned to cook ♪
1047
01:13:59,118 --> 01:14:02,186
♪ Why should I bother ♪
♪ when I look like I look? ♪
1048
01:14:02,188 --> 01:14:04,689
♪ I know lots of people ♪
♪ are smarter than me ♪
1049
01:14:04,691 --> 01:14:08,759
♪ But I have this ♪
♪ philosophy… so what? ♪
1050
01:14:10,796 --> 01:14:13,664
♪ 'Cause I'm a blond, ♪
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
1051
01:14:13,666 --> 01:14:16,601
♪ I see girls without dates ♪
♪ and I feel so sorry for them ♪
1052
01:14:16,603 --> 01:14:19,203
♪ 'Cause whenever I'm around ♪
♪ all the men ignore them ♪
1053
01:14:19,205 --> 01:14:21,872
♪ 'Cause I'm blond, ♪
♪ nyah, nyah, nyah ♪
1054
01:14:21,874 --> 01:14:25,209
♪ 'Cause I'm a blond, ♪
♪ nyah, nyah, nyah ♪
1055
01:14:25,211 --> 01:14:27,945
♪ They say to make it ♪
♪ you need talent and ambition ♪
1056
01:14:27,947 --> 01:14:31,616
♪ Well, I got a TV show ♪
♪ and this was my audition ♪
1057
01:14:31,618 --> 01:14:34,018
Um, okay, what was it?
Okay, don't tell me.
1058
01:14:34,020 --> 01:14:36,153
Oh, yeah, okay.
"Duck, Magnum, duck!"
1059
01:14:36,155 --> 01:14:39,223
♪ 'Cause I'm a blond, ♪
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
1060
01:14:39,225 --> 01:14:42,760
♪ 'Cause I'm a blond, ♪
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
1061
01:14:42,762 --> 01:14:45,229
♪ I took an IQ test, ♪
♪ and I flunked it, of course ♪
1062
01:14:45,231 --> 01:14:47,798
♪ I can't spell "VW," ♪
♪ but I got a Porsche ♪
1063
01:14:47,800 --> 01:14:50,134
♪ 'Cause I'm a blond, ♪
♪ b-l-o-n-d ♪
1064
01:14:50,136 --> 01:14:53,704
♪ 'Cause I'm a blond ♪
♪ don't you wish you were me? ♪
1065
01:14:53,706 --> 01:14:56,807
I just want to say that being
chosen as this month's Miss August
1066
01:14:56,809 --> 01:14:59,410
is, like, a compliment I'll
remember for as long as I can.
1067
01:14:59,412 --> 01:15:02,046
Right now, I'm a freshman
in my fourth year at U.C.L.A.
1068
01:15:02,048 --> 01:15:05,082
But my goal is to become a
veterinarian 'cause I love children.
1069
01:15:05,084 --> 01:15:07,785
♪ 'Cause I'm a blond, ♪
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
1070
01:15:07,787 --> 01:15:10,988
♪ 'Cause we're a blond, ♪
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
1071
01:15:10,990 --> 01:15:13,858
♪ Girls think I'm snotty ♪
♪ and maybe it's true ♪
1072
01:15:13,860 --> 01:15:16,661
♪ With my hair and body ♪
♪ you would be, too ♪
1073
01:15:16,663 --> 01:15:19,430
♪ 'Cause I'm a blond, ♪
♪ b-l… I don't know ♪
1074
01:15:19,432 --> 01:15:21,999
♪ 'Cause I'm a blond, ♪
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
1075
01:15:22,001 --> 01:15:25,069
♪ Yes, I'm a blond, ♪
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
1076
01:15:25,071 --> 01:15:27,838
♪ 'Cause I'm a blond, ♪
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah. ♪
1077
01:15:32,444 --> 01:15:35,813
1078
01:15:35,815 --> 01:15:38,049
Hey, dudes.
1079
01:15:38,051 --> 01:15:39,850
Dudes, come on.
Snap out of it.
1080
01:15:39,852 --> 01:15:41,819
- We're making a pit stop.
- Pit stop?
1081
01:15:51,863 --> 01:15:55,466
- Bang! Bang!
- Hello, Opie.
1082
01:15:57,803 --> 01:15:59,804
Bryan, come on over here!
1083
01:15:59,806 --> 01:16:01,839
Will you get in this car
right now?
1084
01:16:01,841 --> 01:16:04,842
Mom, he's got my gun!
1085
01:16:04,844 --> 01:16:07,478
How many times have I told you
not to tell fibs like that!
1086
01:16:07,480 --> 01:16:10,981
Hey, leave home, kid!
1087
01:16:10,983 --> 01:16:14,919
Hey, dudes! Listen. Since
I'm springing for the gas,
1088
01:16:14,921 --> 01:16:17,488
why don't you go pick up some
brews and some sandwich stuff.
1089
01:16:17,490 --> 01:16:20,458
BOTH: Some brews
and some sandwich stuff.
1090
01:16:20,460 --> 01:16:23,461
Yeah, you know, like, bread and junk.
Okay, dudes?
1091
01:16:23,463 --> 01:16:26,964
- Okay, dude.
1092
01:16:26,966 --> 01:16:29,066
Bread and junk.
1093
01:16:33,438 --> 01:16:36,140
- Give us bread.
- We need junk.
1094
01:16:36,142 --> 01:16:38,976
Don't shoot. Don't shoot.
I just work here.
1095
01:16:38,978 --> 01:16:42,947
I'm an American.
There. Take it.
1096
01:16:42,949 --> 01:16:44,248
-
- Take it all.
1097
01:16:45,517 --> 01:16:49,820
- Where is Candy?
- Candy? Oh!
1098
01:16:49,822 --> 01:16:51,355
Right here. Take as
much as you want.
1099
01:16:56,228 --> 01:16:58,929
- Thank you.
- Thank you too much.
1100
01:17:10,375 --> 01:17:13,444
Hey, troops! Had to
drain the lizard!
1101
01:17:13,446 --> 01:17:15,412
Be right with you.
1102
01:17:19,017 --> 01:17:20,885
Hey, what do I owe you, dude?
1103
01:17:20,887 --> 01:17:22,319
- Get down!
- What?
1104
01:17:22,321 --> 01:17:24,188
Get down!
1105
01:17:26,191 --> 01:17:29,226
I was just held up. They're
still out there. They got guns!
1106
01:17:29,228 --> 01:17:32,797
Guns? My buddies are out there.
1107
01:17:48,980 --> 01:17:51,382
- Where are they, man?
- In that green pile of junk.
1108
01:17:56,388 --> 01:17:59,356
Excuse me.
Could you back up?
1109
01:17:59,358 --> 01:18:01,592
I need to get some unleaded.
1110
01:18:05,197 --> 01:18:07,598
- Back up. Back up.
- Back up. Back up.
1111
01:18:20,979 --> 01:18:23,480
- That's my wagon!
- Back up.
1112
01:18:23,482 --> 01:18:27,017
- ♪ Cosmic, cosmic
-
1113
01:18:27,019 --> 01:18:29,553
♪ I was having this ♪
♪ out-of-body experience ♪
1114
01:18:29,555 --> 01:18:31,989
♪ Of all these cosmic things ♪
1115
01:18:31,991 --> 01:18:34,191
♪ Everywhere, ♪
♪ I went up there ♪
1116
01:18:34,193 --> 01:18:36,527
♪ They were shakin' ♪
♪ their cosmic things ♪
1117
01:18:36,529 --> 01:18:38,896
♪ Like someone gave you ♪
♪ a wild goose ♪
1118
01:18:38,898 --> 01:18:40,998
♪ Or a freight train ♪
♪ with a loose caboose ♪
1119
01:18:41,000 --> 01:18:43,868
- ♪ You better shake your ♪
- ♪ Honey buns ♪
1120
01:18:43,870 --> 01:18:45,536
♪ Shake your honey buns… ♪
1121
01:18:45,538 --> 01:18:48,505
We are party Martians!
We are MTV scum!
1122
01:18:48,507 --> 01:18:51,008
- ♪ Shake it till the better melts ♪
- ♪ Shake it ♪
1123
01:18:51,010 --> 01:18:53,177
♪ Shake that cosmic thing ♪
1124
01:18:53,179 --> 01:18:55,246
♪ Shake that thing, ♪
♪ shake it ♪
1125
01:18:55,248 --> 01:18:57,915
♪ Yeah ♪
1126
01:18:57,917 --> 01:19:00,184
♪ Shake that thing ♪
♪ all night long ♪
1127
01:19:00,186 --> 01:19:02,386
♪ Shake it fast, ♪
♪ you can't go wrong ♪
1128
01:19:02,388 --> 01:19:05,022
♪ Don't let it rest ♪
♪ on the president's desk ♪
1129
01:19:05,024 --> 01:19:07,157
♪ Rock the house ♪
1130
01:19:07,159 --> 01:19:08,592
♪ Cosmic ♪
1131
01:19:08,594 --> 01:19:11,662
- ♪ Woo, cosmic ♪
-
1132
01:19:11,664 --> 01:19:14,098
♪ Cosmic, woo ♪
1133
01:19:14,100 --> 01:19:18,068
- Hey! That looks great!
- ♪ Cosmic, woo ♪
1134
01:19:18,070 --> 01:19:19,470
- ♪Shake it ♪
- ♪Cosmic. ♪
1135
01:19:22,240 --> 01:19:23,941
Hey, guys!
1136
01:19:23,943 --> 01:19:25,676
Brunch is ready.
Come and get it.
1137
01:19:25,678 --> 01:19:28,045
1138
01:19:28,047 --> 01:19:31,115
Hey, Valerie. It's Woody.
What's shaking?
1139
01:19:31,117 --> 01:19:33,384
- Hi, Woody.
- Listen, you know your friends…
1140
01:19:33,386 --> 01:19:35,519
those Finland guys?
1141
01:19:35,521 --> 01:19:38,555
- I was taking them to the beach…
- What? They're gone?
1142
01:19:38,557 --> 01:19:41,125
- They're with you?
- No. They were.
1143
01:19:41,127 --> 01:19:44,228
I guess they kind of robbed the
mini mart when I wasn't lookin'
1144
01:19:44,230 --> 01:19:46,263
and then they totaled
the gas station
1145
01:19:46,265 --> 01:19:48,599
and then they ripped off
my van! It was a trip.
1146
01:19:48,601 --> 01:19:50,401
I don't believe this!
Where are you?
1147
01:19:50,403 --> 01:19:53,103
I'm at the mini mart
down the street.
1148
01:19:53,105 --> 01:19:56,173
- Toys 'R' Us.
- That's it?
1149
01:19:56,175 --> 01:20:00,077
- You seen Zeebo and Wiploc?
- I got water in this one, man. I can't hear ya.
1150
01:20:00,079 --> 01:20:02,212
I think that might be
one of them now.
1151
01:20:02,214 --> 01:20:04,548
- Are you sure?
- Not really.
1152
01:20:04,550 --> 01:20:07,117
Good enough for me.
1153
01:20:07,119 --> 01:20:10,287
So look…
1154
01:20:10,289 --> 01:20:12,489
What's going on?
Woody!
1155
01:20:12,491 --> 01:20:15,059
What's happening?
1156
01:20:15,061 --> 01:20:18,162
- I gotta go now, Valerie. I'm gettin' my butt kicked.
- Woody!
1157
01:20:22,167 --> 01:20:27,338
- ♪ Well, if you plan to motor West ♪
1158
01:20:29,374 --> 01:20:31,275
♪ Travel my way ♪
1159
01:20:31,277 --> 01:20:34,445
♪ Take a highway, ♪
♪ that's the best ♪
1160
01:20:36,348 --> 01:20:38,315
♪ And get your kicks ♪
1161
01:20:38,317 --> 01:20:42,319
♪ On Route 66 ♪
1162
01:20:44,123 --> 01:20:48,592
♪ Well, it winds ♪
♪ from Chicago to L.A. ♪
1163
01:20:51,096 --> 01:20:54,331
- ♪ More than 2,000 miles ♪
-
1164
01:20:54,333 --> 01:20:56,300
- ♪ All the way ♪
-
1165
01:20:58,069 --> 01:21:00,170
♪ Get your kicks ♪
1166
01:21:00,172 --> 01:21:03,574
♪ On Route 66 ♪
1167
01:21:03,576 --> 01:21:05,709
Wiploc!
1168
01:21:05,711 --> 01:21:07,678
♪ Well, it goes to St. Louis ♪
1169
01:21:07,680 --> 01:21:10,047
- ♪ Down to Missouri ♪
-
1170
01:21:10,049 --> 01:21:13,183
- ♪ Oklahoma City, it's oh, so pretty ♪
1171
01:21:13,185 --> 01:21:14,485
♪ You'll see ♪
1172
01:21:14,487 --> 01:21:17,121
♪ Amarillo ♪
1173
01:21:17,123 --> 01:21:20,424
♪ Gallup, New Mexico ♪
1174
01:21:20,426 --> 01:21:23,694
♪ Flagstaff, Arizona, ♪
♪ don't forget Winona ♪
1175
01:21:23,696 --> 01:21:27,464
♪ Kingman, Barstow, ♪
♪ San Bernadino ♪
1176
01:21:27,466 --> 01:21:32,336
- ♪ Won't you get hip to this timely tip? ♪
1177
01:21:32,338 --> 01:21:34,271
1178
01:21:34,273 --> 01:21:39,710
♪ And you'll take ♪
♪ that California trip ♪
1179
01:21:41,413 --> 01:21:46,517
♪ Get your kicks ♪
♪ on Route 66. ♪
1180
01:21:46,519 --> 01:21:49,420
1181
01:21:57,262 --> 01:21:59,129
You have the right
to remain silent.
1182
01:21:59,131 --> 01:22:01,565
Anything you say
can and will be used…
1183
01:22:01,567 --> 01:22:03,600
Hey.
1184
01:22:03,602 --> 01:22:05,769
Jail isn't so bad.
1185
01:22:05,771 --> 01:22:07,738
It's where I learned
how to surf.
1186
01:22:09,207 --> 01:22:11,742
He's dead meat.
You hang 10 now.
1187
01:22:11,744 --> 01:22:13,710
Come on, you guys.
You've gotta believe me.
1188
01:22:13,712 --> 01:22:16,413
- This is all a misunderstanding.
- Sorry, lady.
1189
01:22:16,415 --> 01:22:18,782
- Well, arrest me, too, then.
- Yeah, arrest her.
1190
01:22:18,784 --> 01:22:21,251
- She's a nice lady.
- Stay out of this, flipper.
1191
01:22:21,253 --> 01:22:23,220
OFFICER: We can't. You
didn't do anything.
1192
01:22:26,691 --> 01:22:31,395
- Hey, lady! Don't do that!
- Yeah, go for it!
1193
01:22:31,397 --> 01:22:35,365
MAN: This Paramedic unit 104. We
picked up two victims at Donut Land.
1194
01:22:35,367 --> 01:22:38,202
They fit the description of the
suspects in the mini mart robbery.
1195
01:22:38,204 --> 01:22:40,437
We're taking them to Our
Lady of the Valley Hospital.
1196
01:22:40,439 --> 01:22:42,439
10-13. Copy.
1197
01:22:42,441 --> 01:22:44,308
That's Ted's hospital.
1198
01:22:44,310 --> 01:22:46,610
We have to get there before
anybody finds out who they are.
1199
01:22:46,612 --> 01:22:50,614
Joe, take us
to hospital, please.
1200
01:22:50,616 --> 01:22:54,585
Hey, clown, you're
going to the slammer.
1201
01:22:54,587 --> 01:22:57,654
We go to slammer first.
1202
01:22:57,656 --> 01:23:01,825
Listen, give them that love touch
and then they'll come on to me.
1203
01:23:01,827 --> 01:23:04,628
They'll be putty in my hands.
1204
01:23:04,630 --> 01:23:06,563
You want sex with Joe and Mike?
1205
01:23:06,565 --> 01:23:10,667
No, no. Just so we can
get away. Do it, do it.
1206
01:23:10,669 --> 01:23:13,237
You'll see.
1207
01:23:19,344 --> 01:23:21,378
Hey!
1208
01:23:21,380 --> 01:23:23,347
How about those Lakers, huh?
1209
01:23:25,850 --> 01:23:28,919
What about those
incredible eyes of yours?
1210
01:23:30,355 --> 01:23:31,889
What?
1211
01:23:31,891 --> 01:23:36,226
They're just this far
from Liz Taylor violet.
1212
01:23:45,403 --> 01:23:47,804
Oh, Michael!
1213
01:23:50,275 --> 01:23:52,242
Joseph.
1214
01:23:53,478 --> 01:23:55,512
Two new patients in emergency…
1215
01:23:55,514 --> 01:23:57,648
Dr. Love.
1216
01:23:59,951 --> 01:24:03,420
♪ It's the summer ♪
♪ of love, love, love ♪
1217
01:24:03,422 --> 01:24:06,757
♪ I'm in love ♪
♪ with the love, love, love ♪
1218
01:24:06,759 --> 01:24:10,794
♪ Everyone transcends here ♪
1219
01:24:10,796 --> 01:24:13,931
♪ I'm thinking of you ♪
1220
01:24:13,933 --> 01:24:15,666
♪ Boy… ♪
1221
01:24:15,668 --> 01:24:18,936
Well, bye, you guys.
Thanks for the lift.
1222
01:24:18,938 --> 01:24:21,505
- I hope things work out.
- BOTH: Bye.
1223
01:24:21,507 --> 01:24:23,740
- Happy house hunting.
- Ciao.
1224
01:24:23,742 --> 01:24:25,776
Thank you very much.
1225
01:24:25,778 --> 01:24:27,744
- Oh, they're such a nice couple.
- I know.
1226
01:24:27,746 --> 01:24:29,379
- Oh, they really are.
- Let's go shake somebody down.
1227
01:24:29,381 --> 01:24:30,547
BOTH: Bye.
1228
01:24:30,549 --> 01:24:34,618
Totally cool time.
1229
01:24:34,620 --> 01:24:37,688
Ridin' cool rips all the way in.
1230
01:24:39,424 --> 01:24:41,959
Great, you two.
1231
01:24:41,961 --> 01:24:44,428
- Hi, Dr. Dude.
- All right, boys.
1232
01:24:44,430 --> 01:24:46,797
- The party's over. Settle down.
- Take us to Valerie's house, please.
1233
01:24:46,799 --> 01:24:48,799
We'd like to go
to Valerie's house.
1234
01:24:48,801 --> 01:24:51,301
You're not setting foot in my house again.
Just lie down.
1235
01:24:53,605 --> 01:24:56,707
Excuse me. We're looking for two
patients who were just admitted.
1236
01:24:56,709 --> 01:24:59,409
That's kind of a nasty bump.
1237
01:24:59,411 --> 01:25:01,945
- Does this hurt when I do this?
1238
01:25:01,947 --> 01:25:03,747
Good.
1239
01:25:03,749 --> 01:25:06,316
Let's just have a
listen here, shall we?
1240
01:25:06,318 --> 01:25:08,285
Surf's up.
Surf's up.
1241
01:25:08,287 --> 01:25:10,254
Leave it alone.
1242
01:25:11,522 --> 01:25:14,291
- Breathe.
-
1243
01:25:14,293 --> 01:25:17,594
Again.
1244
01:25:17,596 --> 01:25:19,963
Wait a second.
Breathe.
1245
01:25:19,965 --> 01:25:22,933
- Breathe, breathe.
- Shh.
1246
01:25:25,003 --> 01:25:27,504
It's incredible.
1247
01:25:27,506 --> 01:25:30,274
It's amazing.
1248
01:25:30,276 --> 01:25:32,943
You each have two heartbeats.
1249
01:25:32,945 --> 01:25:35,612
Wiploc and Zeebo?
1250
01:25:35,614 --> 01:25:37,414
What are their last names?
1251
01:25:37,416 --> 01:25:39,383
They don't have last names.
1252
01:25:39,385 --> 01:25:41,818
They're performers,
you know, like Cher.
1253
01:25:41,820 --> 01:25:44,054
Oh!
1254
01:25:44,056 --> 01:25:46,456
Yes. They're in
the emergency room
1255
01:25:46,458 --> 01:25:48,759
being examined
by Dr. Gallagher.
1256
01:25:48,761 --> 01:25:50,727
Oh!
He'll dissect them.
1257
01:25:52,864 --> 01:25:56,466
You can't go in there.
Medical personnel only.
1258
01:25:56,468 --> 01:25:58,302
We've got to get in there.
1259
01:26:00,505 --> 01:26:02,406
I have an idea,
1260
01:26:02,408 --> 01:26:06,043
but it means doing something
terrible to an innocent person.
1261
01:26:06,045 --> 01:26:07,377
Let's do it.
1262
01:26:11,816 --> 01:26:14,718
- Which floor?
- Two, please.
1263
01:26:14,720 --> 01:26:17,788
I think I'm gonna enjoy this.
1264
01:26:21,726 --> 01:26:23,760
Feel this?
It's a gun.
1265
01:26:23,762 --> 01:26:25,629
- What are you doing?
- Shut up and start walking.
1266
01:26:25,631 --> 01:26:28,999
Come on.
Come in here.
1267
01:26:31,002 --> 01:26:34,738
- Help. She's got a gun.
- Take off your uniform.
1268
01:26:34,740 --> 01:26:38,108
- What?
- Take it off! Quick!
1269
01:26:38,110 --> 01:26:41,645
- I know you. You're Ted's girlfriend.
- Strip.
1270
01:26:41,647 --> 01:26:44,348
Oh, look. I don't want
any part of you or Ted
1271
01:26:44,350 --> 01:26:47,451
- or your kinky sex trips.
- I said strip!
1272
01:26:47,453 --> 01:26:49,419
She said strip.
1273
01:26:52,824 --> 01:26:55,992
- The call button. Push the call button.
- Nuh-uh.
1274
01:26:55,994 --> 01:26:58,061
You'll go to prison for this.
1275
01:26:58,063 --> 01:27:02,132
- Excuse me.
- For molesting me, for having a gun…
1276
01:27:02,134 --> 01:27:04,034
Well, I don't have a real gun.
1277
01:27:12,677 --> 01:27:15,712
- Your heart…
- Excuse me, Doctor.
1278
01:27:15,714 --> 01:27:17,881
This doctor's here to
pick up these patients.
1279
01:27:17,883 --> 01:27:19,816
Oh, no, no, no, no. These
guys aren't going anywhere.
1280
01:27:19,818 --> 01:27:22,919
I'm admitting them both for
observation under my care.
1281
01:27:22,921 --> 01:27:25,689
- They seem okay to me, Doctor.
- Nurse, why don't you listen
1282
01:27:25,691 --> 01:27:27,657
to their hearts, and
tell me what you hear.
1283
01:27:28,993 --> 01:27:31,828
♪ Cover of ♪
♪ "Time" Magazine ♪
1284
01:27:31,830 --> 01:27:34,464
♪ Man of the year ♪
1285
01:27:34,466 --> 01:27:37,033
♪ Yes, I'll be rich and famous, ♪
♪ money, money, money, money. ♪
1286
01:27:37,035 --> 01:27:39,503
- I'll be on "The Today Show."
- Shh, Zeebo, it's me.
1287
01:27:39,505 --> 01:27:42,139
- Invitation to the White House.
- He sounds perfectly normal to me, Doctor.
1288
01:27:42,141 --> 01:27:43,940
Oh, no, no.
That's impossible.
1289
01:27:43,942 --> 01:27:46,877
They each have two
distinct heartbeats.
1290
01:27:46,879 --> 01:27:48,812
Try me, Doctor.
1291
01:27:48,814 --> 01:27:50,781
Yes.
Yes, I could try you.
1292
01:27:58,022 --> 01:28:00,924
Oh, my God!
You, too.
1293
01:28:02,160 --> 01:28:04,194
1294
01:28:08,599 --> 01:28:10,167
It's my beeper!
1295
01:28:10,169 --> 01:28:12,836
No, no, no. My beeper's
never done this before.
1296
01:28:12,838 --> 01:28:15,572
- - Could
you get the phone, Doctor?
1297
01:28:15,574 --> 01:28:17,040
What phone, doctor?
1298
01:28:19,210 --> 01:28:20,977
Hello?
1299
01:28:20,979 --> 01:28:23,447
Doctor, I'm afraid
you must be hearing things.
1300
01:28:23,449 --> 01:28:25,449
1301
01:28:25,451 --> 01:28:28,618
-
1302
01:28:30,588 --> 01:28:32,556
Is there something
wrong, Doctor?
1303
01:28:32,558 --> 01:28:34,724
Oh, hello, Doctor. Should I
call you a doctor, Doctor?
1304
01:28:34,726 --> 01:28:37,694
No! Please,
just make it stop!
1305
01:28:37,696 --> 01:28:40,163
- I can't stand it.
-
1306
01:28:51,976 --> 01:28:55,679
You guys, you came this close
to being a science project.
1307
01:28:55,681 --> 01:28:57,647
Come on.
1308
01:28:57,649 --> 01:28:59,649
Ted's car!
Follow me.
1309
01:29:03,621 --> 01:29:05,121
Quick!
Get in quick!
1310
01:29:05,123 --> 01:29:07,757
Oh! Oh, God!
Here comes Ted!
1311
01:29:07,759 --> 01:29:09,726
Hide!
Get down and hide.
1312
01:29:13,598 --> 01:29:17,100
Valerie? Sweetheart,
I'm so glad to see you.
1313
01:29:17,102 --> 01:29:20,504
Can we go home? These last
two days have been hell.
1314
01:29:20,506 --> 01:29:24,908
It's effecting my work. Sweetheart, I
actually think I've been hearing things.
1315
01:29:24,910 --> 01:29:27,110
- No.
- Oh, Val, could you drive?
1316
01:29:27,112 --> 01:29:30,580
- Please, Valerie.
- Okay, Ted. Here.
1317
01:29:30,582 --> 01:29:33,016
- Get in, honey.
- I'm so exhausted.
1318
01:29:35,219 --> 01:29:37,087
TED: You know, I thought a
lot about what you said
1319
01:29:37,089 --> 01:29:39,189
and I've decided
to do something impulsive.
1320
01:29:39,191 --> 01:29:41,291
Let's go to Vegas tonight
and get married.
1321
01:29:41,293 --> 01:29:43,293
Tonight?
1322
01:29:43,295 --> 01:29:46,196
Well, wait a minute. What about the
church and my dress and everything?
1323
01:29:46,198 --> 01:29:49,599
We can do the big church wedding later.
Just like you planned.
1324
01:29:50,668 --> 01:29:53,303
Well… what do you say?
1325
01:29:53,305 --> 01:29:56,306
Well, I don't know.
I'm just so surprised.
1326
01:29:56,308 --> 01:30:00,143
Come on.
You wanted surprises.
1327
01:30:00,145 --> 01:30:02,612
Ted.
1328
01:30:02,614 --> 01:30:04,581
1329
01:30:24,168 --> 01:30:27,137
You gotta bring that
one-piece night thing,
1330
01:30:27,139 --> 01:30:30,073
that, uh, corset that
looks like underwear.
1331
01:30:39,884 --> 01:30:43,219
What is it now?
Something old…
1332
01:30:43,221 --> 01:30:46,122
oh!
These pantyhose are old.
1333
01:30:46,124 --> 01:30:48,224
Something new.
1334
01:30:48,226 --> 01:30:50,093
This veil is new.
1335
01:30:52,096 --> 01:30:54,064
Dr. Tushman, please.
1336
01:30:55,766 --> 01:30:57,601
Barbara, Ted here.
1337
01:30:57,603 --> 01:31:00,270
Listen, uh,
I need a really big favor.
1338
01:31:00,272 --> 01:31:03,373
I want you to cover my shift
at the hospital tomorrow.
1339
01:31:03,375 --> 01:31:07,177
I'm going to Vegas.
1340
01:31:07,179 --> 01:31:09,679
Well, I'm gonna…
lose a little money,
1341
01:31:09,681 --> 01:31:13,717
take in a show,
and… get married.
1342
01:31:13,719 --> 01:31:17,721
Barbara.
Barbara…
1343
01:31:17,723 --> 01:31:19,823
Look, just because
I'm getting married
1344
01:31:19,825 --> 01:31:21,992
doesn't mean we can't date,
all right?
1345
01:31:21,994 --> 01:31:23,960
What?
1346
01:31:36,007 --> 01:31:38,708
ZEEBO:
Valerie.
1347
01:31:38,710 --> 01:31:40,677
- Good-bye.
- Bye.
1348
01:31:40,679 --> 01:31:44,080
Nice planet you have here.
Give Tonya my number.
1349
01:31:45,750 --> 01:31:48,284
Take care, Zeebo.
1350
01:31:48,286 --> 01:31:49,953
Aw, Wiploc.
1351
01:31:49,955 --> 01:31:52,155
I think I'll miss you
least of all.
1352
01:31:52,157 --> 01:31:54,124
You got lip lock for Wiploc?
1353
01:31:56,861 --> 01:31:58,828
MAC:
Valerie…
1354
01:31:58,830 --> 01:32:01,865
I don't know the words.
1355
01:32:01,867 --> 01:32:03,867
Oh, Mac.
1356
01:32:03,869 --> 01:32:05,769
I'm gonna miss you so much.
1357
01:32:05,771 --> 01:32:08,071
I'll miss you, too.
1358
01:32:08,073 --> 01:32:11,141
Sweetheart, I booked the Cave
Man Suite at Cupid's Lodge.
1359
01:32:16,247 --> 01:32:19,749
What the hell is this?
1360
01:32:19,751 --> 01:32:21,951
Okay, Ted, they're not a band.
1361
01:32:21,953 --> 01:32:24,421
- They're from another planet.
- What?
1362
01:32:24,423 --> 01:32:26,956
Go back in the house.
I'll be in in a second.
1363
01:32:26,958 --> 01:32:29,426
Oh, my God!
They're aliens.
1364
01:32:29,428 --> 01:32:31,761
Aliens! All right, Val.
I Got you covered.
1365
01:32:31,763 --> 01:32:34,698
It's okay.
Ted. Ted.
1366
01:32:34,700 --> 01:32:36,700
It's okay.
1367
01:32:36,702 --> 01:32:38,468
You're contaminated.
1368
01:32:40,304 --> 01:32:42,305
- I… I have to go now.
- Ted!
1369
01:32:42,307 --> 01:32:44,040
- I'll call the police.
- Ted, come on.
1370
01:32:44,042 --> 01:32:46,009
- I gotta go.
- Stop it.
1371
01:32:53,751 --> 01:32:55,819
Good-bye, Valerie.
1372
01:33:14,071 --> 01:33:18,007
Mac!
It didn't work!
1373
01:33:18,009 --> 01:33:22,746
Mac! I have to
tell you something.
1374
01:33:22,748 --> 01:33:25,815
I love you!
Take me with you!
1375
01:33:25,817 --> 01:33:28,918
- To Jhazalla?
- Anyplace!
1376
01:33:28,920 --> 01:33:30,987
I am Mr. Right?
1377
01:33:30,989 --> 01:33:33,256
Yes!
Yes!
1378
01:33:39,130 --> 01:33:41,531
Well, uh…
good-bye, Ted.
1379
01:33:41,533 --> 01:33:44,100
Um, I guess
it wasn't meant to be,
1380
01:33:44,102 --> 01:33:46,803
but, uh, I really
want to thank you
1381
01:33:46,805 --> 01:33:51,441
for, um…
thanks for the, uh…
1382
01:33:51,443 --> 01:33:53,409
good-bye, Ted.
1383
01:33:59,383 --> 01:34:01,351
Mac!
1384
01:34:16,300 --> 01:34:18,868
Mac!
1385
01:34:18,870 --> 01:34:22,105
Wait, you guys! You can't
leave without Margaritas!
1386
01:34:30,047 --> 01:34:32,248
Valerie, what are you doing?
1387
01:34:34,151 --> 01:34:36,152
Good-bye, Candy.
I'll miss you.
1388
01:34:36,154 --> 01:34:40,924
Well, good luck, Val.
Call me.
1389
01:34:46,831 --> 01:34:48,398
Happy trails.
1390
01:34:50,467 --> 01:34:53,603
- Bambi, I never knew.
1391
01:34:53,605 --> 01:34:55,572
Wait!
1392
01:35:01,545 --> 01:35:04,247
Hey!
1393
01:35:04,249 --> 01:35:06,950
Give my love to Finland!
1394
01:35:47,925 --> 01:35:52,095
- ♪ People all over the world ♪
- ♪ Join hands ♪
1395
01:35:52,097 --> 01:35:55,632
♪ Start a love train, ♪
♪ love train ♪
1396
01:35:55,634 --> 01:35:57,500
♪ People all over the world ♪
1397
01:35:57,502 --> 01:35:59,903
♪ All over the world, ♪
♪ join hands ♪
1398
01:35:59,905 --> 01:36:01,971
♪ Start a love train ♪
1399
01:36:01,973 --> 01:36:04,340
♪ Love train, love train ♪
1400
01:36:04,342 --> 01:36:07,343
♪ First stop that we'll make ♪
1401
01:36:07,345 --> 01:36:10,113
♪ Will be England ♪
1402
01:36:12,082 --> 01:36:14,284
♪ Tell all the folks ♪
♪ in Russia ♪
1403
01:36:14,286 --> 01:36:16,452
♪ And China, too ♪
1404
01:36:16,454 --> 01:36:19,055
♪ Get on board ♪
1405
01:36:19,057 --> 01:36:22,125
♪ Don't you know ♪
1406
01:36:22,127 --> 01:36:24,160
♪ It's time to get on board ♪
1407
01:36:24,162 --> 01:36:26,296
♪ Time to get on board ♪
1408
01:36:26,298 --> 01:36:30,133
♪ Let the train ♪
♪ keep on ridin' ♪
1409
01:36:30,135 --> 01:36:32,302
♪ Ridin' on through ♪
1410
01:36:32,304 --> 01:36:35,305
♪ Ridin' on through ♪
1411
01:36:35,307 --> 01:36:37,373
♪ People all over the world ♪
1412
01:36:37,375 --> 01:36:39,609
- ♪ Join hands ♪
- ♪ Join your hands ♪
1413
01:36:39,611 --> 01:36:41,611
- ♪ And start a love train ♪
- ♪ And start a love train ♪
1414
01:36:41,613 --> 01:36:45,348
- ♪ Love train ♪
- ♪ People all over the world ♪
1415
01:36:45,350 --> 01:36:47,617
- ♪ Join hands ♪
- ♪ Everybody ♪
1416
01:36:47,619 --> 01:36:49,986
- ♪ Get on the love train ♪
- ♪ Get on the love train ♪
1417
01:36:49,988 --> 01:36:54,123
- ♪ Love train ♪
- ♪ All of you brothers ♪
1418
01:36:54,125 --> 01:36:58,127
- ♪ Over in Africa ♪
- ♪ Come on now, people ♪
1419
01:36:58,129 --> 01:37:01,164
♪ Tell all the folks ♪
♪ in Egypt ♪
1420
01:37:01,166 --> 01:37:05,668
♪ And Israel, too ♪
1421
01:37:05,670 --> 01:37:10,073
♪ Please don't miss ♪
♪ this train ♪
1422
01:37:10,075 --> 01:37:13,176
♪ At the station ♪
1423
01:37:13,178 --> 01:37:15,411
- ♪ 'Cause if you miss it ♪
- ♪ Miss it ♪
1424
01:37:15,413 --> 01:37:22,118
♪ I feel sorry, ♪
♪ sorry for you ♪
1425
01:37:22,120 --> 01:37:24,654
♪ People all over the world ♪
1426
01:37:24,656 --> 01:37:26,656
♪ Join hands ♪
1427
01:37:26,658 --> 01:37:29,692
♪ Start a love train, ♪
♪ love train ♪
1428
01:37:29,694 --> 01:37:32,095
- ♪ Start a love train ♪
- ♪ People of the world ♪
1429
01:37:32,097 --> 01:37:34,630
- ♪ This doesn't matter ♪
- ♪ Join hands ♪
1430
01:37:34,632 --> 01:37:36,766
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ Get on the love train ♪
1431
01:37:36,768 --> 01:37:41,004
- ♪ Love train ♪
- ♪ Get on board ♪
1432
01:37:51,415 --> 01:37:54,217
♪ Well, yeah ♪
1433
01:37:54,219 --> 01:37:56,185
♪ People all over the world ♪
1434
01:37:56,187 --> 01:37:58,388
- ♪ Join hands ♪
- ♪ Join your hands ♪
1435
01:37:58,390 --> 01:38:00,523
- ♪ And start a love train ♪
- ♪ And start a love train ♪
1436
01:38:00,525 --> 01:38:04,093
- ♪ Love train ♪
- ♪ People all over the world ♪
1437
01:38:04,095 --> 01:38:06,295
- ♪ Join hands ♪
- ♪ Everybody ♪
1438
01:38:06,297 --> 01:38:08,231
- ♪ Get on the love train ♪
- ♪ Get on the love train ♪
1439
01:38:08,233 --> 01:38:10,466
- ♪ Love train ♪
- ♪ Hey ♪
1440
01:38:10,468 --> 01:38:13,369
♪ First stop that we'll make ♪
1441
01:38:13,371 --> 01:38:15,738
♪ Will be England ♪
1442
01:38:17,808 --> 01:38:19,809
♪ Tell all the folks ♪
♪ in Russia ♪
1443
01:38:19,811 --> 01:38:22,578
♪ And China, too ♪
1444
01:38:22,580 --> 01:38:24,714
♪ Get on board ♪
1445
01:38:24,716 --> 01:38:27,750
♪ Don't you know ♪
1446
01:38:27,752 --> 01:38:29,819
♪ It's time to get on board ♪
1447
01:38:29,821 --> 01:38:32,188
♪ It's time to get on board ♪
1448
01:38:32,190 --> 01:38:35,625
♪ And let this train ♪
♪ keep on ridin' ♪
1449
01:38:35,627 --> 01:38:40,730
- ♪ Ridin' on through ♪
- ♪ Ridin' on through ♪
1450
01:38:40,732 --> 01:38:43,066
♪ People all over the world ♪
1451
01:38:43,068 --> 01:38:45,268
- ♪ Join hands ♪
- ♪ Everybody ♪
1452
01:38:45,270 --> 01:38:47,737
- ♪ And start a love train ♪
- ♪ Join the love train ♪
1453
01:38:47,739 --> 01:38:50,606
- ♪ Love train ♪
- ♪ Come on, come on, come on, come on ♪
1454
01:38:50,608 --> 01:38:53,476
- ♪ Join hands ♪
- ♪ Everybody ♪
1455
01:38:53,478 --> 01:38:56,546
- ♪ Get on the love train ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪
1456
01:38:56,548 --> 01:38:59,582
♪ Get on board ♪
1457
01:38:59,584 --> 01:39:03,286
♪ Get on board ♪
1458
01:39:03,288 --> 01:39:06,656
- ♪ Get on board ♪
- ♪ Get on board ♪
1459
01:39:06,658 --> 01:39:10,793
- ♪ Hey ♪
- ♪ Get on board ♪
1460
01:39:10,795 --> 01:39:13,329
♪ Well, yeah ♪
1461
01:39:13,331 --> 01:39:16,499
♪ New York, ♪
♪ are you in the house? ♪
1462
01:39:16,501 --> 01:39:20,503
♪ L.A., are you ♪
♪ in the house? ♪
1463
01:39:20,505 --> 01:39:23,606
♪ Motor city, ♪
♪ are you in the house? ♪
1464
01:39:23,608 --> 01:39:27,810
- ♪ Everybody ♪
- ♪ Miami, are you in the house? ♪
1465
01:39:27,812 --> 01:39:31,614
- ♪ Start a love train ♪
- ♪ All over the world join hands ♪
1466
01:39:31,616 --> 01:39:33,683
- ♪ Get on ♪
- ♪ Atlanta ♪
1467
01:39:33,685 --> 01:39:37,453
- ♪ Get on the love train ♪
- ♪ D.C. ♪
1468
01:39:37,455 --> 01:39:39,555
- ♪ All over the world ♪
- ♪ Join hands ♪
1469
01:39:39,557 --> 01:39:41,224
- ♪ Everybody ♪
- ♪ London ♪
1470
01:39:41,226 --> 01:39:43,159
♪ Everybody ♪
♪ get on the love train ♪
1471
01:39:43,161 --> 01:39:44,894
- ♪ Get on the love train ♪
- ♪ Philly ♪
1472
01:39:44,896 --> 01:39:48,164
- ♪ People all over the world ♪
- ♪ Join hands ♪
1473
01:39:48,166 --> 01:39:51,501
- ♪ And start a love train ♪
- ♪ Mars, are you in the house? ♪
1474
01:39:51,503 --> 01:39:54,370
- ♪ Everybody ♪
- ♪ People all over the world ♪
1475
01:39:54,372 --> 01:39:58,207
- ♪ Come on, come on, come on, come on ♪
- ♪ Get on the love train ♪
1476
01:39:58,209 --> 01:39:59,775
- ♪ Love train ♪
- ♪ Come on, people, now ♪
1477
01:39:59,777 --> 01:40:02,645
♪ People all over the world ♪
1478
01:40:02,647 --> 01:40:04,480
♪ Join hands ♪
1479
01:40:04,482 --> 01:40:07,250
♪ And start a love train, ♪
♪ love train ♪
1480
01:40:07,252 --> 01:40:10,253
- ♪ All over the world ♪
- ♪ People all over the world ♪
1481
01:40:10,255 --> 01:40:13,823
- ♪ Join hands ♪ - ♪ Come on, boys
and girls, join the love train ♪
1482
01:40:13,825 --> 01:40:16,626
- ♪ Love train ♪
- ♪ Don't need no ticket. ♪