1
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:56,300
Oh, yeah, nice to see you.
2
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:02,600
Hey, that dress needs dry-cleaning.
3
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:06,400
- Here you go.
- Thank you kindly, Monica.
4
00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:08,500
Monica? Monica?
5
00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:11,000
Oh, shit, Hillary.
6
00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:16,800
Okay.
7
00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:18,100
Hi, Bill.
8
00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:20,500
Oh, hey, Snow White.
9
00:01:21,300 --> 00:01:23,500
Where is 11 B?
10
00:01:24,300 --> 00:01:26,400
Bingo.
11
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:29,200
Where did she say that thing was?
12
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:32,800
Guess it's time for a little action.
13
00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:38,100
Monica.
14
00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:39,800
It's Bill.
15
00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:42,300
I got some dictation for you, Monica.
16
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:45,600
I got a big secret for you, baby.
17
00:01:45,700 --> 00:01:48,400
How did you get up here so soon?
18
00:01:51,900 --> 00:01:55,100
Monica. Monica.
19
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,400
Wait!
20
00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:02,500
I can't see.
21
00:02:03,700 --> 00:02:06,300
My eyes! My eyes! I can't see!
22
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:07,800
Who let you in?
23
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:12,100
What happened? Where's Monica?
What happened to Monica?
24
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,600
How did you get in here?
25
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,600
She told me where the key was.
I can't see.
26
00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:17,900
Did she say it was okay
to dry hump her roommate?
27
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:20,600
She said you'd be in the library
because you're a geek.
28
00:02:20,700 --> 00:02:23,000
I am not a geek. Gosh.
29
00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:26,100
Oh, my God. What was that, Mace?
30
00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:30,600
Eternity by Calvin Klein.
31
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:37,800
Oh, I'm gonna be so careful
who I get in bed with from now on.
32
00:02:39,100 --> 00:02:41,800
That'd be a big adjustment for you,
wouldn't it?
33
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:45,100
God.
34
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,900
I do that every time.
35
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,800
I've invented a solution for that.
Seriously.
36
00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:55,200
It's something goes around a coffee
cup so you don't burn your hand.
37
00:02:55,100 --> 00:02:57,800
I'm gonna call it the coffee collar.
Brilliant idea.
38
00:02:57,900 --> 00:02:59,900
I know all about you.
I know your whole rap.
39
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,000
- You do?
- Yeah. You're a senior...
40
00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:05,500
...who preys on freshmen.
You slept with half my floor.
41
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:09,300
- Well, half your floor was female.
- Whatever.
42
00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:13,100
And you once met Bono,
which I suspect is total bullshit.
43
00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:16,600
No, it's true. He signed my CD.
It's upstairs in my room...
44
00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:19,400
...with my coffee collar
if you wanna see it.
45
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,000
Are you hitting on me?
46
00:03:22,100 --> 00:03:24,000
No. I'm going off your look.
47
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,600
- My look.
- Yeah. Your "doggy bowl" look.
48
00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:30,400
- Are you calling me a dog?
- No, it's a theory I have.
49
00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:31,800
Oh, Casanova has a theory.
50
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:35,500
When a girl's attracted to a guy,
she has a look. It's her tell, like poker.
51
00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:38,600
It's the same look a dog gets
right before you put down the bowl.
52
00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:41,400
You're offensive. And you're crazy.
53
00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:43,800
I'm honest.
I believe honesty is the best policy.
54
00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,200
All right.
You want me to be honest with you?
55
00:03:46,300 --> 00:03:47,600
Sure.
56
00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:49,400
- I'm majoring in Fine Art.
- Right.
57
00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:52,500
I'm studying the golden proportions
of the human face.
58
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:54,800
Your nose is bent,
it droops down at the bottom...
59
00:03:54,900 --> 00:03:57,400
...a feature accentuated
by the thinness of your lip.
60
00:03:57,500 --> 00:03:59,400
And your eyes are too far apart...
61
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,000
...but they'd have to be
to accommodate that bent nose.
62
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,500
I feel sorry for you.
You have to validate yourself...
63
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,000
...through insatiable,
meaningless, ego sport-sex...
64
00:04:07,100 --> 00:04:08,900
...with insecure girls
like my roommate.
65
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,500
I would never have sex
with someone...
66
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:13,900
...like you.
67
00:04:16,900 --> 00:04:18,600
Hey, come here.
68
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,600
That was amazing.
69
00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:22,000
- What was?
- The honesty.
70
00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:24,200
That was almost better than sex
without the...
71
00:04:24,300 --> 00:04:26,900
- Without the crying.
- Actually, it did feel pretty good.
72
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,300
- No one's been that honest.
- It's called a friend.
73
00:04:29,300 --> 00:04:30,600
I'm Tom, by the way.
74
00:04:30,700 --> 00:04:33,000
- Hannah.
- Hannah. That's a palindrome.
75
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:35,900
Good night.
76
00:04:36,500 --> 00:04:38,000
Good night.
77
00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:41,300
Your hand's clammy.
78
00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:43,400
I can see through your nightgown.
79
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,000
Tom, is that you?
80
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:52,100
Can I see your Bono autograph?
81
00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:00,300
She's all yours, friend.
82
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:04,300
Monica, get some sleep.
83
00:05:45,100 --> 00:05:46,700
Good morning.
84
00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:24,800
Who is this?
85
00:06:26,300 --> 00:06:28,000
Oh, I'm late.
86
00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:31,900
What are you doing tonight?
87
00:06:32,900 --> 00:06:35,100
I don't do back-to-backs.
88
00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:40,600
Isn't that what we were doing
last night?
89
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:44,200
No, that was something different.
Back-to-backs are seeing each other...
90
00:06:44,100 --> 00:06:46,200
...two nights in a row. I don't do that.
91
00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:48,700
Couldn't you just
break one of your stupid rules?
92
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,000
- No.
- For me?
93
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,700
I'm sorry. I don't break the rules.
94
00:06:54,100 --> 00:06:55,800
I have a rule about that.
95
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,300
See you next week.
96
00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:45,900
Thank you.
97
00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:47,200
- Excuse me.
- Sorry.
98
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:50,800
Can I get a grande drip...
99
00:07:50,900 --> 00:07:52,500
...and a decaf, triple grande...
100
00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:55,300
...nonfat, extra-hot, stirred,
no-foam Caramel Macchiato...
101
00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,300
...with whipped cream,
extra caramel?
102
00:07:57,400 --> 00:08:01,000
And fill that 70 percent of the way.
Thank you.
103
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:07,900
Oh, here. Let me put a coffee collar
on that for you.
104
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,000
Oh, thank you.
105
00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:11,600
I hear the guy that invented that
gets a dime for each.
106
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:14,000
- You're kidding.
- I am not.
107
00:08:14,300 --> 00:08:16,100
That could add up.
108
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,200
Oh, I think I picked up yours
by accident.
109
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:20,500
- Sorry about that.
- That's all right. Thank you.
110
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:21,700
Anytime.
111
00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,400
Bye-bye.
112
00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:32,800
"Gloria. "
113
00:09:17,100 --> 00:09:18,500
Morning.
114
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:22,500
Good morning, Hannah.
Coffee the way you like it.
115
00:09:22,700 --> 00:09:25,400
Perfect timing.
I just finished working on his balls.
116
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,700
That's... Yeah. Good.
So I made a reservation.
117
00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:32,600
- So which rule is this?
- No back-to-backs.
118
00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:36,000
Isn't it the same as
the "no more than once a week" rule?
119
00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:38,300
The once a week rule works
Monday to Friday...
120
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:41,500
You could have a date on Sunday
and then Monday without breaking it.
121
00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,200
- Exactly, you got it.
- Of course.
122
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,400
Here we go. Hey, good morning.
123
00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:47,200
Can I get the steamed buns...
124
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:49,100
...the scalloped
steamed dumplings...
125
00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:51,900
...and the vegetarian
and shrimp steamed dumplings.
126
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,100
- Thank you.
- For what?
127
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:56,400
You know how much I love
the fried stuff. You're looking after me.
128
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,700
Excellent. So what did she say?
129
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:00,400
She was hurt, but at least I was...
130
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:04,700
- But you were honest, weren't you?
- What? I was. I am. Always.
131
00:10:04,700 --> 00:10:08,800
I know you are, but it's just shocking
how you use it as a shield.
132
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:11,100
Maybe I should lie.
Be more like Dennis Phillips.
133
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:12,800
Say whatever
to get a woman in bed.
134
00:10:12,900 --> 00:10:15,800
Do not be like Dennis Phillips.
He's so gross.
135
00:10:15,900 --> 00:10:18,700
- He only hit on you once.
- At my father's funeral.
136
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,900
Okay, he's not known
for his sensitivity.
137
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,600
Oh, God. Anyways...
138
00:10:24,100 --> 00:10:25,400
What?
139
00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,300
Nothing.
140
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:30,300
I know that "nothing. "
It's something. Anyway?
141
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:34,000
Anyway, we both know you don't
need to lie to get a woman into bed.
142
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:37,000
Gloria. I don't wanna lose that.
Can I keep it? Thank you.
143
00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:38,800
Here's another rule too:
24-hour rule.
144
00:10:38,900 --> 00:10:42,300
I can't call her for another 24 hours.
Then it appears I'm too desperate.
145
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:43,700
Yeah, right.
146
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:45,600
You know,
Dan sent me another letter.
147
00:10:45,700 --> 00:10:47,800
Asking you to move to Canada
and marry him?
148
00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:49,300
A slice of apple-crumb pie.
149
00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:51,200
No. Got that last time.
150
00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:53,700
- You guys broke up like a year ago.
- Nineteen months.
151
00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:57,300
- You're counting?
- No, he is. It was in the letter.
152
00:10:57,300 --> 00:10:59,100
Lemon, butter-cream cup.
153
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,900
Not feeling the cream cup today.
154
00:11:01,900 --> 00:11:03,100
Cranberry-orange muffin?
155
00:11:03,300 --> 00:11:05,400
Oh, Hannah, come on.
You're losing it.
156
00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:08,500
- I know, I know. Okay, okay.
- They don't have it here. Forget it.
157
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:11,100
- Come on. You're disappointing me.
- I got it. I got it.
158
00:11:11,100 --> 00:11:12,800
Okay, I so have it, I so have it.
159
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,400
Cream-cheese-swirl brownie.
160
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,600
You're so good.
161
00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:26,100
What do you think of this?
I think we should bring them this.
162
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:29,900
Tom, I'm not going to another one
of your father's weddings.
163
00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:32,600
Thank you. Hannah? Please.
164
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:34,900
Take one of the girls
you've been rubbing against.
165
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,400
No weddings or family events.
166
00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:38,300
That's right. I forgot that rule.
167
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:41,200
- Leaves the wrong impression.
- It does.
168
00:11:43,700 --> 00:11:46,900
- Is this made with real alligator?
- Yes, baby alligator.
169
00:11:47,300 --> 00:11:49,800
You should be ashamed of yourself.
170
00:11:51,100 --> 00:11:52,200
Look at you.
171
00:11:52,300 --> 00:11:56,000
Hello there. Hello there.
Aren't you beautiful?
172
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,500
Oh, I love you. Yes, I do, I love you.
173
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:00,900
You're so pretty. Yes, you are.
You're beautiful.
174
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:04,000
You're beautiful. You're so beautiful.
Look at that face.
175
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,400
Love you, love you, love you.
176
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:07,600
You should try saying that
to a human sometime.
177
00:12:07,700 --> 00:12:08,900
What?
178
00:12:09,100 --> 00:12:12,400
A human?
You don't say that to a human.
179
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:14,100
You're sweet. Love you.
180
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,500
Hannah, please.
Come to the wedding.
181
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:18,500
- No.
- He gets married and I go.
182
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:21,400
I go because he's my father
and I care deeply for the man.
183
00:12:21,300 --> 00:12:23,000
Everybody knows
he doesn't love them.
184
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:24,800
They don't love him. It's pathetic.
185
00:12:24,900 --> 00:12:27,200
Breaks my heart.
I don't know what to say.
186
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:30,600
If someone's making a mistake and
it's not your place to interfere, say:
187
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:31,700
"I'm happy you're happy. "
188
00:12:31,900 --> 00:12:33,700
- "I'm happy you're happy. "
- Yeah.
189
00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:36,000
Okay. I'll do that.
190
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:39,600
I promise you, this is the last time
I'll ask you to come.
191
00:12:39,700 --> 00:12:42,600
And then I'll find somebody else
to come for the next few.
192
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:45,100
Hannah, please.
193
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,000
That's cute.
194
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:53,900
- Last time.
- Thank you. Thank you.
195
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:08,300
Look, she gets the apartment
in the city and 30 grand a month.
196
00:13:08,300 --> 00:13:11,000
Right. Okay, okay.
You get the house in the Hamptons.
197
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,600
She's asking for the apartment
in the city and 30 grand.
198
00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:16,200
- Thirty? But...
- Are you still negotiating the prenup?
199
00:13:16,300 --> 00:13:20,000
- Now the party starts, my son is here.
- You're getting married in 10 minutes.
200
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,600
Dad, Dad, please. I can't breathe.
Dad. Please, Dad.
201
00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:25,600
- Did you bring the lovely Hannah?
- Yes, I did.
202
00:13:25,700 --> 00:13:28,000
You don't act on that,
you know what I'm gonna do?
203
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,200
- No.
- I'm gonna make her my number six.
204
00:13:31,500 --> 00:13:33,300
It's seven. This is number six.
205
00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:36,800
- Yeah.
- My God, you are pretty.
206
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:38,700
Oh, Dad...
207
00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:40,400
I used to be that pretty once.
208
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:42,400
Dennis, look how pretty my boy is.
209
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:45,600
He's beautiful. They won't accept
a minimum of five times a week.
210
00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:47,100
She promised five, I want five.
211
00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:49,600
What did she promise you
five times a week?
212
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,800
- Four times?
- Two.
213
00:13:51,900 --> 00:13:54,300
No, no, no. We're not done yet.
We're not done yet.
214
00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:57,800
- Three with a bimonthly BJ.
- Oh, this is disturbing.
215
00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:00,800
- Four, and make it weekly.
- Wait, wait, wait. Don't...
216
00:14:00,900 --> 00:14:03,500
Driver, go around the block.
We are not even close.
217
00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:04,800
- Hi.
- Hi.
218
00:14:04,900 --> 00:14:07,900
- What was that?
- Christie, wait. Christie.
219
00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:10,100
- Come on.
- Okay. Okay.
220
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,200
Come on, tell me.
Say what you gotta say.
221
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,600
Well, I'm happy if you're happy.
222
00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:17,100
"You're too old for her, Dad.
She doesn't love you.
223
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:20,100
This is embarrassing. You're gonna
rack up your fifth divorce. "
224
00:14:20,100 --> 00:14:21,700
- Sixth.
- Sixth.
225
00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:26,500
- Come on, I'm happy if you're happy.
- Bullshit.
226
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,600
They'll go for four
if you exercise more.
227
00:14:28,700 --> 00:14:30,400
You can't gain any more weight.
228
00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:31,600
- Take it. Deal.
- Deal.
229
00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:34,700
I told her I weighed 10 pounds more
than I do. Ain't love grand?
230
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:36,500
- Sign them both.
- What's he signing now?
231
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:39,800
- Current prenup and his last divorce.
- That's just great.
232
00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:42,400
You look great, don't fix it.
Come on.
233
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:43,600
- You're good.
- Move.
234
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:44,900
- I'm so excited.
- Yeah.
235
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,100
Thank you.
236
00:14:46,300 --> 00:14:48,000
I'm so excited.
237
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,800
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
238
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:32,100
- Did you tell your dad you loved him?
- I told him I cared for him.
239
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:35,200
You can't even tell your father.
I don't get that.
240
00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:37,800
- It's a guy thing.
- No, it's a Tom thing.
241
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:40,800
Oh, well, you're an "I love you" slut.
242
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:42,500
Are you kidding me?
243
00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:45,000
You say it all the time, to everybody.
244
00:15:45,100 --> 00:15:47,700
- Oh, this looks so good.
- That looks good. What is that?
245
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:50,600
Lemon. I should've ordered this.
This looks good.
246
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,500
You always order better than I do.
247
00:15:55,100 --> 00:15:58,100
It's lemon, right? It's good.
I'm ordering that from now on.
248
00:15:58,200 --> 00:15:59,300
- No, you won't.
- Why?
249
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:02,100
I need you to order the chocolate cake
so I can have some.
250
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,000
There's my son.
251
00:16:04,100 --> 00:16:05,400
Here we go.
252
00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:07,700
- Hi.
- Christie. How are you?
253
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:10,000
If you're a bad boy,
I'm gonna spank you.
254
00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:13,300
Yeah. Do you know what
I would like to say to you? Is that...
255
00:16:14,100 --> 00:16:17,000
- I want you to listen to me, Tom.
- Yes.
256
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,400
If you need any moneys...
257
00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:21,600
- ... or you need any advice...
- Right.
258
00:16:21,700 --> 00:16:24,700
...or you got girl problems.
I don't think...
259
00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:28,800
I need you to think of me
how you would a real mother.
260
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:30,700
Yeah, that's exactly what I...
261
00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:32,400
- Look at this beauty.
- There he is.
262
00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:34,000
Hello, sweetie.
263
00:16:34,700 --> 00:16:36,800
Drunk as the night I first met her.
264
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,100
- So romantic.
- Oh, please. By all means.
265
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:43,500
- You are a bad influence on her.
- Me?
266
00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:44,700
Last shot, okay?
267
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:48,100
- I'm stealing you away.
- "The last one. "
268
00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:50,600
He does know
that he can just date, right?
269
00:16:51,900 --> 00:16:53,700
No, I don't think he does.
270
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:58,000
- To mothers.
- To mothers. Cheers.
271
00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:01,700
Careful.
272
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:03,700
Oh, nice.
273
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,200
Oh, God.
274
00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:16,900
- Hide me.
- What?
275
00:17:16,900 --> 00:17:18,600
It's my dad's patient coordinator.
276
00:17:19,100 --> 00:17:22,400
Don't look, don't look. Don't look.
No, no. She's obsessed with me.
277
00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:25,400
Yeah, she's created a website
called AllThingsTom.org.
278
00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:27,900
- The psycho blogger?
- Yes.
279
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,200
Okay, come on.
Dance with me. Watch yourself.
280
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:31,800
- I think she's cute.
- Stop it.
281
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,800
- I'm serious.
- Just keep going.
282
00:17:35,500 --> 00:17:36,500
Here, just...
283
00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:40,500
Hide me. Up. Neck, neck, neck.
Up. Back. Side, side. Go. Over.
284
00:17:43,300 --> 00:17:46,400
Her last blog was
a two-page description of my face.
285
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:49,900
You see, she doesn't think my nose
is too bent or my lips are too thin.
286
00:17:49,900 --> 00:17:52,800
- Who said that?
- You did. When we met.
287
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,200
- Well, I lied.
- What?
288
00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:58,600
I thought you were hot.
289
00:17:59,700 --> 00:18:01,500
Well, you told me
I looked like a dog.
290
00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:04,100
That's because
I was just trying to sleep with you.
291
00:18:04,100 --> 00:18:06,000
Why haven't you since?
292
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:10,800
Well, I like having you in my life.
293
00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:11,800
Funny.
294
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,200
- Hi, Tom.
- Oh, hi.
295
00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:15,800
- Did you see the new blog?
- No, we haven't.
296
00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:17,600
- Who's this?
- This?
297
00:18:17,700 --> 00:18:19,500
Well, this is my... My girlfriend.
298
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,600
Why didn't you tell me
you were seeing someone?
299
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:26,000
- Because I don't know you.
- We have a really open relationship.
300
00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:27,100
Really?
301
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,400
I wanted to talk to you
about that, princess.
302
00:18:29,500 --> 00:18:31,900
I don't wanna be with anybody
but you.
303
00:18:31,900 --> 00:18:35,100
I don't know if I'm really quite ready
to make that commitment.
304
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,300
You know my rules.
305
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:39,500
- We're a bit of an emotional retard.
- Yeah.
306
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:42,300
I think I need to start
a new blog now.
307
00:18:44,100 --> 00:18:45,400
That is so scary.
308
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:48,400
She's psychotic on top of being...
Oh, this is not good.
309
00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:00,600
Get out of my way.
310
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:03,700
Okay, good, she's gone.
Perfect. Let's go.
311
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:06,600
Good, come on. What?
312
00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:10,600
Do you remember that home
in Scotland...
313
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:12,700
...with those paintings
I told you about?
314
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:15,300
- It's all I think about.
- Stop it, Tom.
315
00:19:15,300 --> 00:19:19,100
I got the board to sign off on making
them additions to our collection.
316
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,300
Really?
317
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:23,400
But they want me to go to Scotland
for an acquisitions trip.
318
00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:25,000
- When do you go?
- Couple of days.
319
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,500
Couple of days? For how long?
320
00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:28,400
Six weeks.
321
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:30,400
That's a long time.
322
00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:33,300
- That's great.
- You think?
323
00:19:33,300 --> 00:19:36,100
Yes,
it's a great opportunity for you.
324
00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:38,600
You're like the museum maven
of the Met.
325
00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:42,900
It's got a good ring to it.
326
00:19:43,300 --> 00:19:46,700
- Thank you.
- Congratulations.
327
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,600
Six Sundays.
328
00:19:52,100 --> 00:19:53,300
That is six Sundays.
329
00:19:53,300 --> 00:19:57,900
- What am I gonna do without you?
- Oh, well. I can just imagine.
330
00:19:58,500 --> 00:20:00,400
- Yeah.
- What are you doing?
331
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:02,700
- I'm gonna jump!
- No. God. Jesus.
332
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:05,100
Six Sundays.
How can I live without you?
333
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,800
- Can you not take anything seriously?
- Yeah, I can.
334
00:20:07,900 --> 00:20:09,400
Get down.
335
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:13,300
- Let's get you another drink.
- I think I've had too many already.
336
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,000
Oh, thanks for coming
to the wedding.
337
00:20:15,100 --> 00:20:17,200
It was a ball.
I can't wait for number seven.
338
00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:19,200
It's coming up soon,
I have a feeling.
339
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:23,700
We also ask at this time that you
turn off all your electronic devices.
340
00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:27,400
Please leave your cell phones turned
off for the full duration of the flight.
341
00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:45,200
I'm not gonna be able
to play today, man. My back.
342
00:20:45,300 --> 00:20:48,300
If we don't have a fourth, we're gonna
end up with Tiny Shorts Guy.
343
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:49,800
- How's it going?
- Need another?
344
00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:52,700
No, our friend Paul,
with longer shorts, is coming.
345
00:20:52,700 --> 00:20:54,900
No, Ginny signed him up
for some art-walk thing.
346
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,700
Art walk? Are you serious? Tell me:
347
00:20:56,700 --> 00:20:58,700
What do you think Ginny did
with his balls?
348
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,700
Come on, guys.
Marriage isn't that bad.
349
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:02,700
Without marriage,
there'd be no divorce.
350
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:05,200
Without divorce,
I wouldn't have my condo in Aspen.
351
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:06,700
There you go.
352
00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:09,000
- Good one.
- What is he? What is he?
353
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,900
I'm serious, man. You're missing out
on the best parts of life.
354
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,500
The most important part of life.
355
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:16,000
This from the guy
whose wife won't let him own porn.
356
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:19,000
He's gotta wank off to the underwear
of the Sears catalogue.
357
00:21:19,100 --> 00:21:21,800
I thought we weren't
gonna talk about that, huh?
358
00:21:21,900 --> 00:21:24,900
What's the matter with you?
You're single and been single since...
359
00:21:24,900 --> 00:21:27,300
What was her name,
in sophomore year?
360
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:28,800
Pimkin. Pimkin, that's it.
361
00:21:28,900 --> 00:21:31,000
Pimkin dumped you for him
sophomore year.
362
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:33,900
You've never been the same.
You haven't been able to sleep.
363
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:36,900
- Scarred.
- You have no idea how nice it is...
364
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:40,300
...to have someone who's gonna be
there for you, no matter what, forever.
365
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:41,600
Snaps to that.
366
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,700
You don't know how nice it is to
sleep with a different girl.
367
00:21:44,700 --> 00:21:46,100
That's true.
368
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:47,300
Nice rebuttal.
369
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,500
You know, you got the best
of both worlds, Tom.
370
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:52,700
It's true.
I can sleep with whoever I want...
371
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:55,800
...but I still get to hang with Hannah.
It's a perfect setup.
372
00:21:55,900 --> 00:21:58,000
- Well, maybe not for Hannah.
- What's that mean?
373
00:21:58,200 --> 00:21:59,800
Come on, Tom. She's a woman.
374
00:21:59,900 --> 00:22:01,900
- Yeah, I got that.
- You sure?
375
00:22:01,900 --> 00:22:03,500
Dude, she's pushing 30.
376
00:22:03,900 --> 00:22:06,000
You think her idea
of happily ever after...
377
00:22:06,100 --> 00:22:09,400
...is coming home to you
and hanging out after you got laid?
378
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:12,200
- Makes you think, right?
- Yeah.
379
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:23,700
- Hello?
- Hey.
380
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:25,600
- Hi.
- How's the weather in England?
381
00:22:26,100 --> 00:22:28,900
It's great. Only I'm in Scotland.
382
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:32,000
Oh, right. Right.
383
00:22:32,100 --> 00:22:33,100
So it's sunny.
384
00:22:35,900 --> 00:22:37,100
It's 3 in the morning.
385
00:22:37,100 --> 00:22:39,900
- Oh, right. Sorry. So it's dark.
- Yeah.
386
00:22:40,300 --> 00:22:43,100
Hey, have you seen
the Loch Ness monster yet?
387
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,400
I know, terrible joke. Anyway...
388
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:47,100
Is there something important?
389
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:49,000
Yeah, you'll never guess
what happened.
390
00:22:49,100 --> 00:22:50,800
- What?
- They filled in the pothole.
391
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:54,000
- The pothole?
- On 83rd.
392
00:22:54,100 --> 00:22:56,100
Terrific. Hey, Tom?
393
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,100
- Yeah?
- I'm gonna go back to sleep now.
394
00:22:58,200 --> 00:22:59,300
Oh, okay. Sure.
395
00:23:00,100 --> 00:23:01,700
Love you.
396
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:04,100
Good night. Call me tomorrow.
397
00:23:13,700 --> 00:23:15,300
This stuff's all old.
398
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,400
Yeah. That's the point.
399
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:18,700
Let's go to Fendi.
400
00:23:18,900 --> 00:23:20,300
- Fendi? No. No, no.
- Yes.
401
00:23:20,300 --> 00:23:22,600
- We're here. Let's just stay here.
- Yes.
402
00:23:22,700 --> 00:23:24,200
I'm not into old stuff.
403
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:26,100
Why are you talking
like a six year old?
404
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:27,400
I'm not.
405
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:32,800
This line is too long.
Can't we just go somewhere else?
406
00:23:32,900 --> 00:23:35,100
No. This is the best bakery
in the world.
407
00:23:35,100 --> 00:23:37,200
That's why it's worth waiting in line.
408
00:23:37,300 --> 00:23:39,900
Come on, we'll play a game.
Wanna play a game?
409
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:41,800
- Yeah, we can play a game.
- Okay, good.
410
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:45,000
- Tell me what to order.
- Why?
411
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,600
You'll see. It'll be fun.
Make a suggestion.
412
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,100
- A cookie.
- No, no, you have to be specific...
413
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,200
...like what type of cookie.
414
00:23:54,700 --> 00:23:57,100
A really big cookie.
415
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:07,500
Tom, your phone's ringing.
416
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:12,900
Hello?
417
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:14,800
Hello?
418
00:24:15,100 --> 00:24:16,800
Nope.
419
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:20,500
- What's wrong?
- Missed an important call.
420
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,200
That's because
you're an important person.
421
00:24:23,700 --> 00:24:27,400
No. Oh, wait.
Hey, come to mama.
422
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:30,100
We will have two fried dumplings...
423
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:33,800
...two of the wontons,
and six of the fried porky thingies.
424
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:35,500
Yeah, but that's fried.
425
00:24:35,700 --> 00:24:37,000
- Come on.
- It's not healthy.
426
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,800
Have some of the fried.
It won't hurt you.
427
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:42,800
Thank you.
428
00:24:43,100 --> 00:24:45,400
Move, please.
429
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,900
Oh, gosh.
430
00:24:48,100 --> 00:24:50,000
This is unbelievable.
431
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,100
- Hello?
- Hey. Hello?
432
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:53,500
Hello?
433
00:24:53,500 --> 00:24:55,600
- Hannah?
- Hello?
434
00:24:55,700 --> 00:24:58,900
- Hey.
- Tom? Tom, is that you?
435
00:24:59,300 --> 00:25:01,500
- Tom?
- Hello?
436
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:02,600
Hello?
437
00:25:02,700 --> 00:25:05,200
You're cutting out.
I can't hear anything you've said.
438
00:25:05,300 --> 00:25:09,900
I'm stuck in a thunderstorm.
I'm surrounded with a herd of cows.
439
00:25:09,900 --> 00:25:13,800
- I'll call when I get to the hotel. Tom?
- Hannah, I can't hear you.
440
00:25:26,500 --> 00:25:28,100
Hello?
441
00:25:29,700 --> 00:25:32,000
Hello? Hello?
442
00:25:32,300 --> 00:25:33,900
Hello?
443
00:25:42,500 --> 00:25:44,600
Oh, I hate Scotland.
444
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:11,000
We're having a hard time.
445
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:12,400
We're having a hard time.
446
00:26:12,500 --> 00:26:14,800
Oh, yeah? Want a hand?
447
00:26:14,900 --> 00:26:16,900
- Give us a little...
- We'd love it.
448
00:26:16,900 --> 00:26:19,500
- I think you'd better sit down, sir.
- I might fall in.
449
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:21,400
- Sit down there, sir.
- Sit, sit, sit.
450
00:26:21,500 --> 00:26:23,100
Here we go.
451
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:25,300
- Don't come in.
- Hang on.
452
00:26:25,300 --> 00:26:27,200
Thank you, thank you.
453
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:29,500
- Have a good afternoon.
- Have a wonderful day.
454
00:26:42,900 --> 00:26:45,100
- Give it up, baby.
- What do you got, Gar?
455
00:26:45,100 --> 00:26:47,000
- Come on, scrub.
- What you got?
456
00:26:47,100 --> 00:26:48,900
Let's go. What do you got, Gar?
457
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:51,100
What do you got, Gar?
What do you got?
458
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:52,800
Come on, Tom. Tom, Tom.
459
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:54,000
Easy.
460
00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:57,200
Tom, foul. That's a foul, Tom.
What's the matter with you today?
461
00:26:57,200 --> 00:27:00,400
I don't know. I think
I might have feelings for Hannah.
462
00:27:02,500 --> 00:27:04,900
Oh, come on, come on.
Let's just play.
463
00:27:06,100 --> 00:27:09,800
It's just without her,
something's off.
464
00:27:09,900 --> 00:27:12,200
It's got me thinking
that there's more to life...
465
00:27:12,300 --> 00:27:14,000
...than just sleeping around.
466
00:27:15,900 --> 00:27:18,300
- I don't understand.
- I'm not following.
467
00:27:18,300 --> 00:27:21,600
Come on, let's just play.
Come on. I'll take it out.
468
00:27:21,700 --> 00:27:23,900
I know exactly what you mean, Tom.
469
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:25,600
Thanks. Here you go.
470
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:28,500
I'm gonna tell Hannah.
When she gets home...
471
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:29,700
...I'm gonna tell her.
472
00:27:29,700 --> 00:27:32,500
- Nothing about marriage, just together.
- That's romantic.
473
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:38,900
You have one unheard message.
474
00:27:38,900 --> 00:27:42,300
Hey, Tom, I'm back.
God, I cannot wait to see you.
475
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:45,800
I don't care what you're doing tonight,
cancel it. We're going to dinner.
476
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:48,800
Meet me at that new place next
to the small Greek place we hated...
477
00:27:48,900 --> 00:27:52,200
...that used to be the Thai-fusion place
we loved. Meet me there, 8:00.
478
00:27:52,300 --> 00:27:54,700
I have so much to tell you.
479
00:28:09,700 --> 00:28:11,100
All right.
480
00:28:15,300 --> 00:28:16,500
Okay.
481
00:28:18,700 --> 00:28:20,300
Have a good night.
482
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:07,900
Tom. You okay?
483
00:29:07,900 --> 00:29:11,500
- I'm all right. Are you all right?
- I think I broke a rib.
484
00:29:11,500 --> 00:29:14,100
- Sorry about your flowers.
- His rib. I'm fine. I'm fine.
485
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:15,700
- Are you okay?
- I'm so sorry.
486
00:29:15,700 --> 00:29:18,100
- I'm sorry, sir. Here are your flowers.
- Oh, but...
487
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:20,100
- You had flowers?
- They're not my flowers.
488
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:22,700
- Your flowers. Those are yours.
- I didn't have flowers.
489
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:25,300
- It's good to see you. It's great.
- I missed you.
490
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:28,300
- There's someone I want you to meet.
- Oh, good.
491
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:32,500
It started pouring and suddenly
it was just me in a field of cows.
492
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:36,000
Of course, we're in Europe. There are
no signs and it's getting dark.
493
00:29:35,900 --> 00:29:38,600
I think she thought she was
in some bad werewolf movie.
494
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:40,600
"Stay off the moors, lassie. "
495
00:29:42,500 --> 00:29:45,400
So anyway,
all of a sudden out of nowhere...
496
00:29:45,300 --> 00:29:47,300
...Colin comes riding up
on horseback...
497
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:50,900
Can you believe it? A horse.
- and asks me if I need any help.
498
00:29:50,900 --> 00:29:53,200
You were a lady in distress.
What was I gonna do?
499
00:29:53,300 --> 00:29:55,300
It was right out of a Bront� novel.
500
00:29:56,700 --> 00:29:59,900
So anyway, he shows me
to this charming little inn...
501
00:29:59,900 --> 00:30:03,300
...where he proceeds to buy me
the most awful dinner I've ever had.
502
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:06,900
Right. Okay. Aye. It was pretty bad,
even by Scottish standards.
503
00:30:07,700 --> 00:30:10,200
We spent the next month
traveling around the country...
504
00:30:10,300 --> 00:30:14,600
...getting to know each other,
visiting museums. It was...
505
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:16,900
- It was perfect.
- It was perfect.
506
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:23,900
When it was time
for Hannah to leave, I just...
507
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:27,900
I don't know, I just...
I couldn't let her go.
508
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:31,800
- So I got down on one knee...
- And he proposed, and I accepted.
509
00:30:31,900 --> 00:30:34,000
Wow, that's just... It's huge, it's...
510
00:30:34,100 --> 00:30:35,800
The wedding's coming
together quickly.
511
00:30:35,900 --> 00:30:36,900
It sounds like it.
512
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,300
We're gonna get married
at Colin's parents' home.
513
00:30:39,300 --> 00:30:41,500
It's gonna be small.
We can't expect people...
514
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:44,100
...to make the trip overseas
in just a fortnight.
515
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:45,700
- A fortnight.
- Right.
516
00:30:45,900 --> 00:30:47,800
- That's two weeks.
- It's crazy, isn't it?
517
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:50,000
- Have you ever been to Scotland?
- I haven't.
518
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,500
You should see the church
where we're exchanging vows.
519
00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:55,100
Same church that Colin's parents
were married in.
520
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:57,000
It's across the loch
from our distillery.
521
00:30:57,100 --> 00:30:58,600
- Distillery?
- Colin's family...
522
00:30:58,700 --> 00:31:01,700
...owns the largest
whiskey distillery in Scotland.
523
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:03,100
Tom, look.
524
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:06,900
If you were getting married
I'd expect to be your best man.
525
00:31:06,900 --> 00:31:11,400
Tom, will you be my maid of honor?
526
00:31:14,100 --> 00:31:15,300
Your maid of honor?
527
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:20,400
Oh, I'm so sorry.
528
00:31:22,300 --> 00:31:24,900
- Forgive me, I...
- What is it with you, man?
529
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:27,900
What are you...?
Excuse me. Excuse me.
530
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:29,200
Did you see that?
531
00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:33,400
Maid of honor.
532
00:31:33,500 --> 00:31:35,800
That's funny stuff. But you're a guy.
533
00:31:35,900 --> 00:31:37,800
- Go ahead, just get it out.
- Oh, my...
534
00:31:37,900 --> 00:31:41,000
So, what did you say?
Did you say yes?
535
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,700
I didn't know what to say.
I told her I'd think about it.
536
00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:46,700
Think about whether that dress
gonna make your ass look big.
537
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:49,300
- Give me a break. Come on.
- All right, let me think.
538
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:50,300
She into this guy?
539
00:31:50,500 --> 00:31:53,900
You should have seen her. Staring
at him moony, like he shits unicorns.
540
00:31:53,900 --> 00:31:56,000
That's not good.
You're gonna have to do this.
541
00:31:56,100 --> 00:31:58,800
You're gonna have to be
the maid of honor. I'm serious.
542
00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:02,100
Think about it. This would give you
an excuse to be around Hannah.
543
00:32:02,100 --> 00:32:06,100
Helping her out,
being the man behind the curtain.
544
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:07,400
You'd be her confidant.
545
00:32:07,900 --> 00:32:11,300
Then you could use that time to point
out to Hannah that this is crazy...
546
00:32:11,300 --> 00:32:13,300
...and that she doesn't
even know this guy.
547
00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:16,300
- I'm not gonna do that. No way. No.
- What? Look.
548
00:32:16,300 --> 00:32:19,400
I don't know
what your other options are.
549
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:22,500
You got a better chance
of stopping this wedding from inside...
550
00:32:22,500 --> 00:32:24,200
...than from another continent.
551
00:32:24,300 --> 00:32:28,100
And they say that you can shorten this
and wear it again if you like.
552
00:32:28,900 --> 00:32:31,800
Come on, if you're serious
and you really want Hannah back...
553
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:35,000
...from this guy, you're gonna
have to do whatever it takes.
554
00:32:35,500 --> 00:32:36,900
Whatever.
555
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:50,800
- Your dress is beautiful.
- Thank you.
556
00:32:50,900 --> 00:32:54,000
I am so happy you're gonna do this.
557
00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:57,600
Pleasure. For this wedding,
I am willing to do whatever it takes.
558
00:32:57,600 --> 00:32:59,100
- I'm so excited.
- Yeah, me too.
559
00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:01,400
So let me tell you who
the bridesmaids are.
560
00:33:01,500 --> 00:33:03,400
- All right. Stephanie.
- I like Stephanie.
561
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:04,500
- She loves you.
- Good.
562
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:06,600
- My friend Hilary.
- I don't know Hilary.
563
00:33:06,700 --> 00:33:08,500
- She's the best.
- Okay.
564
00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:10,800
- And Melissa.
- Oh, no.
565
00:33:10,900 --> 00:33:13,000
- I had to. She's my cousin.
- She hates me.
566
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:15,500
- Well, you broke her heart.
- She broke my nose.
567
00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:17,900
- That was an accident.
- She hit me with her fist.
568
00:33:17,900 --> 00:33:22,200
I was honest with her. I said, "Look,
nothing serious," and she agreed.
569
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:24,200
Sometimes our hearts
don't match our mouths.
570
00:33:24,300 --> 00:33:25,900
That's good. Put that in the vows.
571
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,500
She's wanted to be my maid of honor
since we were 5...
572
00:33:28,500 --> 00:33:30,400
...so now
she's really gonna hate you.
573
00:33:30,500 --> 00:33:31,600
There they are now.
574
00:33:31,700 --> 00:33:34,900
Okay, well, as your maid of honor,
I promise to keep the peace.
575
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:49,700
- Oh, hi.
- There she is.
576
00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:52,500
- Hello, good to see you.
- Oh, the bride-to-be.
577
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:53,600
- I'm Tom.
- I'm Hilary.
578
00:33:53,700 --> 00:33:55,800
Very nice to meet you.
579
00:33:56,300 --> 00:33:59,300
Stephanie, how are you doing?
It's so good to see you too.
580
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:00,400
Are you kidding me?
581
00:34:00,500 --> 00:34:03,300
Look at you, Melissa.
How have you been?
582
00:34:06,500 --> 00:34:08,200
- That went great.
- This isn't awkward.
583
00:34:08,300 --> 00:34:11,600
It's gonna be fine, it's gonna be fine.
Don't worry. I'm gonna be fine.
584
00:34:18,100 --> 00:34:20,200
So, Tom, have you met Colin yet?
585
00:34:20,300 --> 00:34:22,900
- Yes.
- Isn't he dreamy?
586
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:25,600
Absolutely.
587
00:34:25,700 --> 00:34:27,900
Could someone please
pass me the Splenda?
588
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:32,500
Could someone who's not
a misogynist pass the Splenda?
589
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:37,200
- Hello?
- Thank you, Stephanie.
590
00:34:37,900 --> 00:34:39,000
It's Colin, you guys.
591
00:34:41,300 --> 00:34:43,900
Hi, babe. One sec.
592
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:45,400
Hi.
593
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:47,300
They're so cute.
594
00:34:49,500 --> 00:34:52,100
We have nine days before we leave.
We have to act quickly.
595
00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:53,900
Exactly. I've been
a MOH six times...
596
00:34:54,100 --> 00:34:56,000
...so I'll organize everything
to be done.
597
00:34:56,100 --> 00:34:58,900
Even though
I'm not officially the MOH here.
598
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:01,200
- What is a MOH?
- M-O-H.
599
00:35:01,300 --> 00:35:04,200
- Oh, maid of honor. That's you.
- Oh, that's clever. Yeah.
600
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:06,500
No, it's going great.
601
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:08,700
Very smoothly.
602
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:11,100
So we've got the bridal shower,
the bachelorette...
603
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:12,700
...dress fittings, the kilt...
604
00:35:12,900 --> 00:35:15,500
- I'll do the kilts.
- Oh, good.
605
00:35:15,500 --> 00:35:18,000
Shopping for Hannah's trousseau.
That's gonna be fun.
606
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:20,300
Trousseau? What is a trousseau?
607
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:23,300
It's lingerie. For her wedding night.
608
00:35:23,300 --> 00:35:26,500
How do you expect to be a good MOH
if you don't even know that?
609
00:35:26,500 --> 00:35:28,900
- She's talking to me.
- No, I didn't.
610
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:32,200
- You just did.
- Oh, I'm sorry, Tom.
611
00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:33,800
Did I break a rule?
612
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:36,500
Oh, how about we focus
on the wedding part?
613
00:35:36,500 --> 00:35:39,100
- Good idea. Let's do that.
- Okay, I need dress sizes.
614
00:35:39,100 --> 00:35:40,700
- I'm a four.
- Hey.
615
00:35:40,900 --> 00:35:42,500
Eight.
616
00:35:42,700 --> 00:35:44,100
I'm sorry.
617
00:35:45,900 --> 00:35:47,800
You know, Hilary...
618
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:52,200
...do you think that maybe you'd just
be more comfortable in, like, a 12?
619
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:55,700
No, it'll be fine.
I'm doing the Dr. Riverbed fast.
620
00:35:55,700 --> 00:35:57,600
- Oh, yeah.
- What is that?
621
00:35:58,300 --> 00:36:00,000
Water, peach resin, apple pectin...
622
00:36:00,100 --> 00:36:02,700
...shark extract
and Lawry's seasoning salt.
623
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:04,100
What about food?
624
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:07,400
Look, I am going to look amazing
in that dress...
625
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:11,800
...I am going to meet a Scottish man
and I'm gonna be happy.
626
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:14,100
- Write down an 8.
- Got it.
627
00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:16,300
What's your dress size,
maid of honor?
628
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:18,700
I don't know.
What's your jock size, Melissa?
629
00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:20,800
Okay, guys. That's enough.
It's enough.
630
00:36:21,100 --> 00:36:24,200
Sorry. But will you guys
look at Hannah, please?
631
00:36:24,300 --> 00:36:25,800
Okay, she's happy, finally.
632
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:28,900
So could you please,
for Hannah, let's all just get along...
633
00:36:28,900 --> 00:36:32,500
...hook a smile on our faces
and pretend like everything is perfect.
634
00:36:33,100 --> 00:36:35,000
Okay, fine. Okay.
635
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:38,000
- Oh, my God. That's great.
- What did he say?
636
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:40,800
- How's he doing?
- Oh, he's so sweet.
637
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:43,300
Isn't that great.
638
00:36:43,700 --> 00:36:45,000
How's it going?
639
00:36:45,100 --> 00:36:46,600
- Great.
- Good. Really good.
640
00:36:46,700 --> 00:36:48,700
Fantastic. Fantastic.
641
00:36:48,900 --> 00:36:51,200
- I mean, it is pretty much done.
- Perfect. Really?
642
00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:53,700
- Tom?
- Yes.
643
00:36:53,700 --> 00:36:55,600
- Here.
- What is this?
644
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:57,500
She does
bridal-shower entertainment.
645
00:36:57,500 --> 00:37:00,300
I hired her for Stephanie's sister's
shower. Hannah loved it.
646
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:02,800
- She reads tarot cards.
- That's great. Thank you.
647
00:37:02,900 --> 00:37:05,300
I'm not doing it for you,
I'm doing it for Hannah.
648
00:37:05,300 --> 00:37:08,400
Okay. Thank you. For Hannah.
649
00:37:08,300 --> 00:37:09,400
It should've been me.
650
00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:11,800
- I'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye, Tom.
- Goodbye.
651
00:37:11,900 --> 00:37:14,000
- Bye, Hilary.
- See you. Nice meeting you.
652
00:37:14,100 --> 00:37:16,800
I just had a very nice
bonding moment with Melissa.
653
00:37:16,900 --> 00:37:18,300
- Can I ask you a favor?
- Sure.
654
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:21,300
My mother and grandmother
are coming into town tomorrow...
655
00:37:21,300 --> 00:37:22,700
...and I have so much to plan.
656
00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:26,100
I was wondering if you and your boys
could entertain Colin for the day.
657
00:37:26,100 --> 00:37:28,200
- Entertain him?
- Get to know him and stuff.
658
00:37:28,300 --> 00:37:29,800
- Sure. Yeah.
- Cool.
659
00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:34,800
So are you more proud of Scotch tape
or McDonald's?
660
00:37:35,100 --> 00:37:37,000
I think they're both American.
661
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:39,000
You invited this guy
to play ball with us?
662
00:37:39,100 --> 00:37:40,100
He's the competition.
663
00:37:40,300 --> 00:37:42,600
I need to get to know
his strengths and weaknesses.
664
00:37:42,700 --> 00:37:46,000
I like his green shirt.
Is that like a poly blend kind of thing?
665
00:37:45,900 --> 00:37:47,600
- It's my shirt.
- It's your shirt?
666
00:37:47,700 --> 00:37:49,700
- Yeah. Looks good on him.
- Looks real good.
667
00:37:49,700 --> 00:37:51,500
Why don't you play with him?
668
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:53,300
Thanks.
669
00:37:53,300 --> 00:37:55,100
Colin,
you ever play basketball before?
670
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:57,100
We would call this netball.
671
00:37:57,200 --> 00:37:59,100
In Scotland it's more
of a woman's game.
672
00:37:59,100 --> 00:38:01,100
So no,
I don't have much experience.
673
00:38:01,300 --> 00:38:04,200
- I do. You need one more?
- We're good.
674
00:38:04,900 --> 00:38:06,300
All right.
675
00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:09,300
- All right, girls. You ready?
- Yeah. I am.
676
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:12,000
- Gotta use your hands there.
- You all right there?
677
00:38:13,900 --> 00:38:15,700
- I'm open, I'm open.
- There we go.
678
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:19,700
You gotta hold on to the ball, man.
You hold on to the ball.
679
00:38:19,900 --> 00:38:21,300
Almost.
680
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:24,800
You should get some Scottish girls
out here.
681
00:38:24,900 --> 00:38:27,600
No, you want to start again
because you didn't get that.
682
00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:30,700
There you go. That was good.
Here you go.
683
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:33,200
What do you got? Shoot that. Nice.
684
00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:37,200
- I like it like that.
- Sorry, guys.
685
00:38:37,300 --> 00:38:39,000
Get on him.
686
00:38:39,500 --> 00:38:43,500
Lay-up.
Get in there, ball. You okay?
687
00:38:44,100 --> 00:38:46,200
Okay, back to you.
Put it in the basket.
688
00:38:46,300 --> 00:38:47,700
Put it in the basket.
689
00:38:48,300 --> 00:38:51,000
You know what I'm loving?
The guy's a chump.
690
00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:54,300
- There it is.
- Arms up, baby. That's good.
691
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:56,200
That's it, that's it.
We got it now.
692
00:38:56,300 --> 00:38:57,400
Hey, I look good, don't I?
693
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,100
Here we go. Here we go now.
694
00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:01,200
Yo!
695
00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:02,800
Just put it in the basket.
696
00:39:03,500 --> 00:39:05,000
- Go ahead.
- Put it in the basket.
697
00:39:05,100 --> 00:39:06,900
Hey, take a shot.
698
00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:12,900
- Sorry, guys, huh?
- Did you see that?
699
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:15,100
Probably not allowed
to stuff it in the net.
700
00:39:15,100 --> 00:39:16,700
- He dunks the ball.
- Sorry, sorry.
701
00:39:16,700 --> 00:39:18,800
He dunks the ball.
702
00:39:18,900 --> 00:39:20,700
That was awesome. You can dunk.
703
00:39:20,900 --> 00:39:22,800
He can dunk. That is awesome.
704
00:39:22,900 --> 00:39:25,300
Wait, if that's allowed,
why don't you guys all do it?
705
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:28,000
Yeah, if we could, we would. Right?
706
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,600
Nice!
707
00:39:50,100 --> 00:39:51,100
Yes!
708
00:39:51,300 --> 00:39:54,400
- Good game, yeah. Good game.
- My brother.
709
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:56,600
He's gonna be
more competition than you thought.
710
00:39:56,700 --> 00:39:58,400
- I know, I know.
- I love this guy.
711
00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:15,200
Shit.
712
00:40:16,100 --> 00:40:17,300
- You all right?
- Yeah.
713
00:40:17,300 --> 00:40:18,900
Hey.
714
00:40:19,100 --> 00:40:23,000
- Holy...
- That boy's got mad-cow disease.
715
00:40:24,500 --> 00:40:26,000
We gotta get dirt on this guy.
716
00:40:26,100 --> 00:40:28,800
I got a guy I use when
a spouse suspects infidelity.
717
00:40:28,900 --> 00:40:30,800
Everybody's got skeletons
in their closet.
718
00:40:30,900 --> 00:40:33,200
Nobody's squeaky clean
and my guy is the best.
719
00:40:33,300 --> 00:40:34,300
It just seems so cheap.
720
00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:36,800
It won't be.
I'll charge double because you're rich.
721
00:40:36,900 --> 00:40:38,800
- It's a cheap thing to do.
- He plays cheap.
722
00:40:38,900 --> 00:40:41,200
- You gotta match that.
- How does Colin play cheap?
723
00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:43,100
That thing with Hannah,
being Scottish...
724
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:45,000
...making her fall in love
in Scotland.
725
00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:48,100
That monster thing of his.
726
00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:51,100
Fine. Get the dirt.
727
00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:55,400
That's cool.
728
00:40:57,800 --> 00:40:59,800
The white zone
is for immediate loading...
729
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:02,400
...and unloading of passengers only.
730
00:41:02,500 --> 00:41:04,500
No parking.
731
00:41:08,300 --> 00:41:10,400
What's he gonna do, eat her?
732
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:12,700
Come on, come on, come on.
733
00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:15,500
Okay, take a breath,
take a breath, take a...
734
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:21,900
Thanks, Tom.
735
00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:24,100
Yeah, have a great flight.
736
00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:26,000
Bye. Thanks, mate.
737
00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:28,700
Come on.
738
00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:34,900
- I love you, Colin.
- Bye.
739
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:36,600
Bye.
740
00:41:40,100 --> 00:41:41,800
Yeah.
741
00:41:42,300 --> 00:41:44,100
Oh, God.
742
00:41:44,700 --> 00:41:46,900
- Need some ChapStick?
- Yeah.
743
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:49,300
So, what church are we going to?
744
00:41:49,300 --> 00:41:50,600
Grace Church.
745
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:02,100
Thank you for coming with me
to meet the reverend.
746
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:04,500
- Oh, it's no problem.
- He is the sweetest man.
747
00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:05,600
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
748
00:42:05,700 --> 00:42:09,100
He married my parents and insisted on
coming to Scotland to do my wedding.
749
00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:11,200
Why didn't Colin
stay and do this with you?
750
00:42:11,300 --> 00:42:13,800
It was more important for him
to go back to Scotland...
751
00:42:13,900 --> 00:42:16,900
...to petition the Grand Council
so Colin and I could get married.
752
00:42:16,900 --> 00:42:18,500
What's a Gran... What's that mean?
753
00:42:18,700 --> 00:42:21,700
I'm not Scottish, and his family
is kind of like, you know.
754
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:24,400
- What?
- Royalty.
755
00:42:24,500 --> 00:42:26,100
Royalty?
756
00:42:26,100 --> 00:42:30,500
- Royalty? What is he, like a king?
- No, no. He's a duke.
757
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:34,900
A duke?
758
00:42:40,100 --> 00:42:42,900
- Hannah, darling.
- Reverend Foote.
759
00:42:43,900 --> 00:42:47,500
And this must be the lucky young man
who's marrying our beautiful Hannah.
760
00:42:47,500 --> 00:42:49,800
- Oh, no. I'm not marrying him.
- No.
761
00:42:49,900 --> 00:42:53,000
This is Tom, my maid of honor.
762
00:42:53,500 --> 00:42:55,500
- Maid of honor?
- Yes.
763
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:57,100
Well, how about that?
764
00:42:57,200 --> 00:43:01,000
We have many gay and lesbian
members of the congregation.
765
00:43:01,300 --> 00:43:02,900
Welcome.
766
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:14,200
- Thank you.
- Thank you, Reverend.
767
00:43:19,100 --> 00:43:22,100
- So let's talk about the wedding.
- Okay.
768
00:43:22,100 --> 00:43:24,900
I need to get some details
about you and...
769
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:27,100
- Colin.
- Colin. Colin, yes.
770
00:43:27,100 --> 00:43:29,900
- I want to work it into the ceremony.
- Okay.
771
00:43:29,900 --> 00:43:33,300
- Well, it was such a whirlwind, really.
- Yes, well, enlighten me.
772
00:43:33,300 --> 00:43:35,000
Tell me about it.
773
00:43:36,900 --> 00:43:38,500
Hannah, darling.
774
00:43:39,100 --> 00:43:42,000
Hannah, I think it's important
to dig deep here for the vows...
775
00:43:42,100 --> 00:43:44,700
...and tell Reverend Foote
all that you know about Colin.
776
00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:47,500
All that you love about him.
Not just the obvious stuff...
777
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:50,300
...but those unique characteristics
that are Colin.
778
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:53,000
Those things
that make you laugh and say:
779
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:56,700
"That's so Colin. "
780
00:43:58,600 --> 00:43:59,700
Right.
781
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:03,300
And then, you know, maybe you could
get some information from Colin...
782
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:07,500
...and emphasize their unique bond.
Their shared history.
783
00:44:07,500 --> 00:44:09,000
Of course.
784
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:11,900
We could talk about
love at first sight.
785
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:15,200
Well, that's always a crowd pleaser,
but...
786
00:44:15,300 --> 00:44:18,000
Hannah, elaborate.
Tell me more about him.
787
00:44:18,100 --> 00:44:20,100
How you feel about him.
788
00:44:26,300 --> 00:44:28,200
- Where did you meet?
- In Scotland.
789
00:44:28,300 --> 00:44:30,100
Modigliani.
790
00:44:30,500 --> 00:44:32,000
Your first summer in New York...
791
00:44:32,100 --> 00:44:34,900
...you were dating a guy
and he asked you to move in.
792
00:44:34,900 --> 00:44:38,200
You weren't sure. That was around
the time you discovered Modigliani...
793
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:40,200
...and became obsessed
with his painting...
794
00:44:40,300 --> 00:44:43,300
...of this woman who had
a blue scarf on, holding a baby.
795
00:44:43,300 --> 00:44:46,300
Hannah said, "That painting captured
the essence of that woman...
796
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:49,700
- ... better than any photograph. "
- I can't believe you remember that.
797
00:44:49,700 --> 00:44:53,300
I remember she freaked. She felt
more passionate about that painting...
798
00:44:53,300 --> 00:44:55,400
...than about Mr. Wall Street.
799
00:44:55,500 --> 00:44:57,400
She wondered if she could
meet somebody...
800
00:44:57,400 --> 00:45:00,700
...that could make her feel
as passionate as that work of art.
801
00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:04,000
That's good. That's good.
802
00:45:04,100 --> 00:45:05,800
Modigliani.
803
00:45:05,900 --> 00:45:09,100
Now I know why you picked him
to be maid of honor. Yes.
804
00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:10,600
Well...
805
00:45:12,600 --> 00:45:15,900
Come on. Who's ready to lose some
money tonight? I'm feeling lucky.
806
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:17,500
You guys are late. How you doing?
807
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:20,300
- How you holding up, champ?
- I'm stressed.
808
00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:23,000
- Hannah's shower's in the morning.
- Where we gonna play?
809
00:45:23,100 --> 00:45:26,300
We're not gonna play till these baskets
and everything else gets done.
810
00:45:26,300 --> 00:45:28,900
- What about this party mix?
- That's potpourri.
811
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:31,600
Oh, this is perfect.
Come on, Felix, take it off.
812
00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:34,200
Deb has one of these.
It's funny, you can't see a thing.
813
00:45:34,300 --> 00:45:37,200
- She'd have to, to sleep with you.
- You could be, like, blinded.
814
00:45:37,300 --> 00:45:39,900
No, I'm not playing with baskets.
It's poker night.
815
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:45,600
- You put bayberry with serenity.
- You no like?
816
00:45:45,700 --> 00:45:48,800
No, I thought it was obvious that
bayberry worked best with harmony.
817
00:45:48,900 --> 00:45:53,100
Really? I've been putting bayberry
with Tahitian Sunrise.
818
00:45:53,400 --> 00:45:55,900
- That, I like. That's Zen.
- Yeah. You know what I like?
819
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:58,300
I like how you put the bath ball
in the center.
820
00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:01,900
I like that so much, I'm gonna see
your ball and raise you another ball.
821
00:46:01,900 --> 00:46:03,700
Good idea.
You should have two balls.
822
00:46:03,700 --> 00:46:05,500
- Get you another ball.
- Hey, Dennis...
823
00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:07,400
...come and curl some ribbon.
824
00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:10,700
I can feel my sperm dying inside of me
one at a time.
825
00:46:10,700 --> 00:46:12,700
Shut up and grab a basket.
Come on, it's fun.
826
00:46:12,900 --> 00:46:14,900
I'm going to a strip club
to eat some meat.
827
00:46:14,900 --> 00:46:16,800
Then I'm gonna get into a fight.
828
00:46:17,100 --> 00:46:18,900
Call me when you find your balls,
Tom.
829
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:20,100
All right, tough guy.
830
00:46:20,100 --> 00:46:23,700
Or maybe they're in the basket
next to the Tahitian Sunrise.
831
00:46:24,500 --> 00:46:26,500
Someone's afraid
of his feminine side.
832
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:30,000
Look at that... Oh, nice job
with the fluffing. Look at that, huh?
833
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:32,100
You tjuzsed it,
and it's been tjuzsed, and...
834
00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:33,200
- Look at us.
- Come on.
835
00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:34,900
- Nice work, huh?
- You can't lose.
836
00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:41,000
Oh, shit.
Hello, ladies. You look lovely today.
837
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:43,100
- Tom.
- Hilary, how are you?
838
00:46:43,300 --> 00:46:47,200
Good. Everything looks wonderful.
This is the best shower I've been to.
839
00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:49,200
Really, you think so?
You know what, Hilary?
840
00:46:49,300 --> 00:46:53,600
- You should really eat something.
- No. Tom, I'm fine.
841
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:58,500
I'm fine. I'm okay.
842
00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:01,200
What you ladies go through
to fit into a dress.
843
00:47:01,300 --> 00:47:05,000
This blows your rule out of the water
about no women allowed at your place.
844
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:06,800
What good's a rule
if you don't break it?
845
00:47:06,900 --> 00:47:09,500
I'm very, very impressed.
Thank you...
846
00:47:09,500 --> 00:47:13,000
Listen to that.
Gay Gordons party remix, just for you.
847
00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:18,100
Hear the horn? Hear the horn?
848
00:47:18,100 --> 00:47:21,200
It's good, isn't it? Wait, let me
turn it up for you. There it is.
849
00:47:21,200 --> 00:47:22,600
- It's a little loud.
- What?
850
00:47:22,700 --> 00:47:25,600
- It's a little loud!
- Okay. I'll turn it down. There you go.
851
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:27,300
Look at this. Try this.
Haggis Pink.
852
00:47:27,500 --> 00:47:33,400
It's pepper, cheese, chopped up baby
lamb lung, and cow pituitary gland.
853
00:47:33,500 --> 00:47:36,300
It's a Scottish delicacy.
Colin recommended it.
854
00:47:38,900 --> 00:47:42,400
Ladies. Ladies.
Look what just came for Hannah.
855
00:47:44,400 --> 00:47:46,000
It's from Colin, everyone.
856
00:47:48,100 --> 00:47:50,500
Wait, there's a card.
There's a card. There's a card.
857
00:47:50,600 --> 00:47:52,300
It says "Hannah. "
858
00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:55,300
"Hannah, my love,
this is the extremely rare...
859
00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:57,400
...Scottish, floral, bud thistle. "
860
00:47:57,500 --> 00:47:58,500
Thistle?
861
00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:01,500
"They only bloom for four hours
before they die. "
862
00:48:01,500 --> 00:48:04,600
He must have timed this out
perfectly.
863
00:48:04,700 --> 00:48:06,800
Oh, my gosh. When we first met,
Colin joked...
864
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:10,400
...that he would roam the countryside
to find me one, and he did.
865
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:14,600
Sweetheart, that's the most
romantic thing I've ever heard.
866
00:48:14,700 --> 00:48:16,000
Thanks, Mom.
867
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:17,900
Joan, good to see you.
It's been too long.
868
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:19,800
I think, Easter, wasn't it?
869
00:48:19,800 --> 00:48:22,300
Yes. You slept with our maid.
870
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:24,900
She told you?
I didn't know she spoke English.
871
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:26,000
Yes, hi.
872
00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:28,000
This is Grandma Pearl.
You remember Tom.
873
00:48:28,100 --> 00:48:31,700
- How are you?
- Oh, yes. The fornicator.
874
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:34,600
That's right.
875
00:48:34,900 --> 00:48:37,500
- Okay.
- Tom, this is awesome.
876
00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:39,400
- It's great.
- Good, thank you.
877
00:48:39,500 --> 00:48:41,500
This is even better
than my sister's shower.
878
00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:43,600
Really?
It appears to be going well. Yes?
879
00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:46,100
- Sharon would like to set up.
- Who?
880
00:48:46,500 --> 00:48:48,600
- The entertainment.
- Yes.
881
00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:51,800
Thank God... I mean, good.
She should set up over there.
882
00:48:51,900 --> 00:48:56,000
Hello, everybody. Hi, I'm Sharon.
Good to see you all.
883
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:58,100
Yeah, come on, right down front.
884
00:48:58,300 --> 00:49:00,100
This was my idea, you know.
885
00:49:00,100 --> 00:49:02,700
I know you loved her
from Stephanie's sister's shower...
886
00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:05,100
I'd like for us all
to take in a deep breath.
887
00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:07,100
She wasn't at the shower.
888
00:49:07,300 --> 00:49:08,400
- She wasn't?
- No.
889
00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:10,300
- And now exhale slowly.
- Really?
890
00:49:10,400 --> 00:49:12,100
Good job. Good job.
891
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:14,500
It's very important to reset
our third eye...
892
00:49:14,500 --> 00:49:18,000
...and connect to the primal... inside
of ourselves...
893
00:49:18,300 --> 00:49:20,100
...before I present the pleasure aids.
894
00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:23,100
- Pleasure aids?
- Now...
895
00:49:23,200 --> 00:49:28,300
...these pleasure aids are best used
when in a tantric, meditative state.
896
00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:30,300
And today,
I'm going to show you ladies...
897
00:49:30,300 --> 00:49:33,400
...how to reach your optimal,
sacral chakra.
898
00:49:33,500 --> 00:49:36,100
All of these aids are for sale, ladies.
899
00:49:36,200 --> 00:49:40,200
And... Oh, look what we have here.
We have edible panties.
900
00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:44,000
You look hungry. Here,
snack on these. There you go.
901
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:47,900
Now, ladies, what pleasure party
would be complete without...
902
00:49:47,900 --> 00:49:50,000
...glow-in-the-dark thunder beads.
903
00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:53,600
These are terrific.
And for you ladies today, two for one.
904
00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:55,600
Okay? There you go.
905
00:49:55,700 --> 00:49:57,700
Do you wanna try those out,
princess?
906
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:00,200
Where do these go?
907
00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:06,400
From casual right into evening wear.
Gorgeous.
908
00:50:06,500 --> 00:50:08,900
You know what,
why don't you keep those.
909
00:50:09,200 --> 00:50:11,500
Oh, and they match your earrings.
910
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:23,700
Hannah, you okay?
911
00:50:25,700 --> 00:50:27,700
You know I dreamt
of my wedding shower...
912
00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:30,200
- ... ever since I was 10 years old?
- No.
913
00:50:30,200 --> 00:50:32,500
Strangely enough,
the image of my Grandma Pearl...
914
00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:36,500
...draped in glow-in-the-dark thunder
beads, wasn't part of it. It's not funny.
915
00:50:37,900 --> 00:50:41,000
Do you have any idea
how important this is to me?
916
00:50:41,500 --> 00:50:45,100
And the Gay Gordons, pink haggis,
dildo saleswoman?
917
00:50:45,100 --> 00:50:47,400
Just understand something,
that Melissa set me up.
918
00:50:47,500 --> 00:50:50,900
Oh, please.
There's always an excuse with you.
919
00:50:51,300 --> 00:50:53,900
I never should've asked you
to do this in the first place.
920
00:50:53,900 --> 00:50:55,700
You don't even believe in marriage.
921
00:50:55,800 --> 00:50:57,600
You know, I might.
922
00:51:00,400 --> 00:51:02,100
I gotta get back.
923
00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:16,000
Melissa's pretty good.
924
00:51:16,100 --> 00:51:19,300
Look, the whole goal here was to
convince Hannah that I'd grown up...
925
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:21,900
...that she doesn't know anything
about Colin...
926
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:24,200
...that I'm the right man for her.
927
00:51:24,500 --> 00:51:26,100
That did not happen.
928
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:30,600
Stella. No. No, baby,
don't eat buttons, okay?
929
00:51:30,600 --> 00:51:33,100
Yeah, but you're still
the maid of honor, right, Tom?
930
00:51:33,100 --> 00:51:34,700
I think she might have fired me.
931
00:51:34,700 --> 00:51:37,100
How does somebody get fired
from being maid of honor?
932
00:51:37,100 --> 00:51:38,200
Tell me about it.
933
00:51:38,300 --> 00:51:40,500
- You know what? I got an idea.
- Okay.
934
00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:42,400
To prove
you're the only man for her...
935
00:51:42,500 --> 00:51:44,600
...we have to make you
the best maid of honor.
936
00:51:44,700 --> 00:51:45,900
Right.
937
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:49,400
I'm at a loss, completely stunned.
My guy couldn't find any dirt on Colin.
938
00:51:49,500 --> 00:51:51,400
This has never happened.
This guy's clean.
939
00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:54,300
- I'm glad it happened to me.
- He's got three Guinness Records?
940
00:51:54,400 --> 00:51:57,200
- Cool. For what?
- He's actually got a Medal of Honor.
941
00:51:57,300 --> 00:52:01,000
Hey, that's pretty funny because
we got the maid of honor right here.
942
00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:03,900
All right, let's stay focused.
943
00:52:04,100 --> 00:52:06,400
The point is,
we're not gonna get her off this guy.
944
00:52:06,500 --> 00:52:08,300
So we need to not make this
about Colin.
945
00:52:08,400 --> 00:52:10,300
- We need to make it about you.
- Good.
946
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:12,800
Show her that you're growing up,
that you're changing.
947
00:52:12,900 --> 00:52:14,500
I am changing. I'm growing up.
948
00:52:14,600 --> 00:52:16,800
- Then this should be easy for you.
- Okay, great.
949
00:52:16,900 --> 00:52:20,200
These are bridal magazines
from 18 different countries...
950
00:52:20,200 --> 00:52:22,900
...each with a feature article
on being a maid of honor.
951
00:52:22,900 --> 00:52:24,400
Perfect. �ber Bride.
952
00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:27,200
Now, I got these guys in Bangalore
that we outsource to.
953
00:52:27,300 --> 00:52:29,500
They translated them overnight
for you.
954
00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:32,100
Nice appetizer there, Gary.
Here's the main course.
955
00:52:32,200 --> 00:52:35,400
- What do you got for me? Bring it on.
- Deb, is an A-type personality.
956
00:52:35,400 --> 00:52:37,300
- She has to do everything perfect.
- Sure.
957
00:52:37,300 --> 00:52:38,700
Love her. Hate that about her.
958
00:52:38,900 --> 00:52:41,800
She rented this when
she was gonna be the maid of honor...
959
00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:44,100
...for her yoga teacher.
This is the goods.
960
00:52:44,100 --> 00:52:46,500
- Good, let's look at this.
- You're gonna be wowed.
961
00:52:54,400 --> 00:52:55,900
Hi, I'm Elisabeth Hasselbeck...
962
00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:58,500
...and I'm so thrilled
you purchased this program.
963
00:52:58,500 --> 00:53:01,400
And I'm proud of you because
it shows that you're not happy...
964
00:53:01,500 --> 00:53:03,900
...being just an ordinary friend
and loved one.
965
00:53:03,900 --> 00:53:05,900
No, you and I
are going to work together...
966
00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:08,700
...to make you
the perfect maid of honor.
967
00:53:08,800 --> 00:53:11,300
When we're through, you'll know
everything there is...
968
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:15,400
...about dresses, crockery, nuptial
etiquette, and pleasing your bride.
969
00:53:15,600 --> 00:53:17,700
What's the length
of the bridesmaid's dress?
970
00:53:17,800 --> 00:53:19,200
Can't be longer than bride's.
971
00:53:19,300 --> 00:53:21,200
What if someone
won't be able to attend?
972
00:53:21,400 --> 00:53:25,100
- You gotta send an invitation anyway.
- Receiving line?
973
00:53:25,100 --> 00:53:27,000
Receiving line?
974
00:53:27,100 --> 00:53:30,000
A receiving line means I've failed
because Hannah's married.
975
00:53:30,100 --> 00:53:31,600
It was a trick question.
976
00:53:31,700 --> 00:53:33,700
Who was
the runner-up MVP, 1974?
977
00:53:33,700 --> 00:53:35,300
These questions all have to do...
978
00:53:35,400 --> 00:53:37,900
...with Tom being
the best maid of honor he can be.
979
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:41,000
I thought we were just asking,
like, questions.
980
00:53:41,700 --> 00:53:43,000
Go sit down.
981
00:53:43,100 --> 00:53:44,700
Basic duties
of the maid of honor?
982
00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:47,700
Manage the bridesmaids,
hold the ring, support the bride.
983
00:53:47,700 --> 00:53:50,000
Basic duties as you
as the maid of honor?
984
00:53:50,100 --> 00:53:53,300
Show that I've matured, that I can
take care of my responsibilities...
985
00:53:53,400 --> 00:53:55,400
...and that I need to destroy
from within.
986
00:53:55,500 --> 00:53:58,200
- What happens if you fail at that task?
- Colin gets her.
987
00:53:58,400 --> 00:54:00,500
What are we gonna do?
Steal the bride.
988
00:54:00,600 --> 00:54:02,300
What are we gonna do?
Steal the bride.
989
00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:04,800
- What are we gonna do?
- Steal the bride!
990
00:54:04,900 --> 00:54:06,900
Steal the bride!
991
00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:09,600
Remember, whether it's helping
with the seating chart...
992
00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:11,600
...or giving an opinion on the cake...
993
00:54:11,700 --> 00:54:13,900
...the perfect made of honor
is with her bride...
994
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:15,800
...every step of the way.
995
00:54:15,900 --> 00:54:18,300
You didn't have to clear
your day to do all this.
996
00:54:18,300 --> 00:54:19,900
Are you kidding? Of course I did.
997
00:54:19,900 --> 00:54:23,000
The perfect maid of honor
is with his bride every step of the way.
998
00:54:23,100 --> 00:54:24,700
A changed man.
999
00:54:24,800 --> 00:54:26,500
I am, indeed.
1000
00:54:26,900 --> 00:54:30,300
- I don't even know where to begin.
- When choosing your china patterns...
1001
00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:32,400
...you need to think
about entertaining...
1002
00:54:32,500 --> 00:54:34,400
...what sort of foods
you wanna cook.
1003
00:54:36,900 --> 00:54:40,600
Here, look.
Now, don't be afraid to mix and match.
1004
00:54:40,700 --> 00:54:43,400
It's important,
even with different styles and textures.
1005
00:54:43,300 --> 00:54:45,600
What you wanna do
is stir up the table.
1006
00:54:45,700 --> 00:54:48,200
Make it come alive
with color and finesse.
1007
00:54:48,300 --> 00:54:49,900
That is the goal.
1008
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:52,600
All so, at the end of the day,
you will find...
1009
00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:56,300
...connections.
1010
00:54:57,300 --> 00:54:58,300
Thank you very much.
1011
00:55:00,200 --> 00:55:04,000
Let's go. If you think I'm good
with plates, wait till you see linens.
1012
00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:06,000
- Lingerie, perfect.
- What about the linens?
1013
00:55:06,100 --> 00:55:08,000
Help pick something
for the wedding night.
1014
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:09,500
- No.
- Are you crazy?
1015
00:55:09,600 --> 00:55:11,300
You're the perfect person
for this job.
1016
00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:13,800
Who's taken off more lingerie
than you?
1017
00:55:14,300 --> 00:55:16,600
Let's put your whoring to good use.
1018
00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:19,100
Good point.
1019
00:55:21,700 --> 00:55:24,000
So how did it go
with the Scottish Grand Council?
1020
00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:27,300
Great.
Colin got them to approve everything.
1021
00:55:27,400 --> 00:55:28,800
Great.
1022
00:55:30,600 --> 00:55:33,100
So I gotta tell you,
I know this is gonna sound funny...
1023
00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:36,000
...but I have to thank you.
1024
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:37,300
For what?
1025
00:55:37,400 --> 00:55:40,100
Well, for asking me
to be your maid of honor.
1026
00:55:40,200 --> 00:55:43,400
Yeah.
I know this is gonna sound crazy...
1027
00:55:43,500 --> 00:55:47,800
...but you've really opened my eyes
to the whole idea of marriage.
1028
00:55:47,700 --> 00:55:50,200
- Right.
- No, seriously.
1029
00:55:50,900 --> 00:55:53,100
Have you met someone, Tom?
1030
00:55:53,100 --> 00:55:57,000
- No.
- Well, then how can you be serious?
1031
00:55:57,500 --> 00:55:59,300
I don't know. I just...
1032
00:56:04,700 --> 00:56:06,400
I don't know.
1033
00:56:23,900 --> 00:56:26,900
What do you think?
You think Colin will like it?
1034
00:56:29,500 --> 00:56:32,500
No. No.
1035
00:56:32,600 --> 00:56:34,600
- It's just...
- What?
1036
00:56:35,700 --> 00:56:37,200
It's cute.
1037
00:56:37,300 --> 00:56:40,500
"Cute"? I do not wanna look cute
on my wedding night.
1038
00:56:40,500 --> 00:56:42,300
Just put this on. Cover yourself up.
1039
00:56:42,400 --> 00:56:44,000
Oh, hey. That's my coat.
1040
00:56:44,100 --> 00:56:46,400
- Thank you. Yeah.
- Thank you.
1041
00:56:50,400 --> 00:56:52,900
Here, let me get you in a cab.
Watch...
1042
00:56:53,400 --> 00:56:55,800
I can't believe
this is my last day in New York.
1043
00:56:55,800 --> 00:56:57,500
What are you talking about?
1044
00:56:58,800 --> 00:57:00,800
I've been meaning to tell you, Tom.
1045
00:57:01,200 --> 00:57:03,800
When I leave tomorrow,
I'm not coming back.
1046
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:08,800
I've decided to move to Scotland
to be with Colin.
1047
00:57:08,800 --> 00:57:10,200
- You're leaving New York?
- I am.
1048
00:57:12,900 --> 00:57:15,400
It's exciting, you know,
and it makes sense.
1049
00:57:15,400 --> 00:57:18,700
He's next in line to take over
the family business and...
1050
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:21,200
It's a whole new chapter.
1051
00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:27,400
You were amazing today,
you know that?
1052
00:57:27,400 --> 00:57:28,800
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
1053
00:57:28,900 --> 00:57:30,800
I had no idea
you could juggle like that.
1054
00:57:30,900 --> 00:57:33,200
- Yeah, well...
- I mean, women, yes, china, no.
1055
00:57:33,300 --> 00:57:36,100
- Yeah, I know.
- You're always amazing.
1056
00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:39,800
Come.
1057
00:57:45,900 --> 00:57:49,800
- I'll see you in Scotland soon, okay?
- Yeah, I'll see you over there.
1058
00:57:52,700 --> 00:57:54,400
I'll miss you.
1059
00:58:02,500 --> 00:58:04,600
Scotland.
1060
00:58:13,800 --> 00:58:15,300
Come, baby.
1061
00:58:19,300 --> 00:58:21,000
- Hi there.
- Hi.
1062
00:58:21,100 --> 00:58:22,700
Hey.
1063
00:58:23,500 --> 00:58:26,200
- Nice dogs.
- This is Hamish and this is Callum.
1064
00:58:26,300 --> 00:58:29,000
- Callum? Callum.
- Yeah.
1065
00:58:29,700 --> 00:58:31,400
- What dog is that?
- He's a Scottie.
1066
00:58:31,500 --> 00:58:33,000
A Scottie.
1067
00:58:34,400 --> 00:58:38,200
That's perfect. Fucking Scottie.
1068
00:58:47,100 --> 00:58:50,600
I've never felt like this before.
So hopeless.
1069
00:58:50,700 --> 00:58:54,000
So tell me again why you agreed
to be the maid of honor.
1070
00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:57,000
To be with her. Make her happy.
1071
00:58:57,000 --> 00:58:59,300
Figure out some way
to get her off of him.
1072
00:58:59,400 --> 00:59:02,200
Maybe that was all wrong.
Maybe he's better for her than me.
1073
00:59:02,300 --> 00:59:04,400
He's Scottish, he can dunk,
he's perfect.
1074
00:59:04,500 --> 00:59:06,000
Nobody's perfect.
1075
00:59:06,100 --> 00:59:08,700
Although I tell you,
this whiskey comes damn close.
1076
00:59:08,800 --> 00:59:10,700
It was a gift from Colin. He made it.
1077
00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:13,100
Swell.
1078
00:59:13,700 --> 00:59:18,000
I can't go.
I can't watch Hannah marry this guy.
1079
00:59:18,400 --> 00:59:20,300
She's moving to Scotland,
I've lost her.
1080
00:59:20,300 --> 00:59:22,700
- Crap.
- If you love something, set it free.
1081
00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:25,400
Said by a pussy
and used by pussies ever since.
1082
00:59:27,800 --> 00:59:29,900
Casablanca.
Bogie puts her on the plane.
1083
00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:31,800
- Pussy.
- Bogie's a pussy?
1084
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:33,800
Big pussy.
1085
00:59:34,300 --> 00:59:36,900
You know,
I've only truly been in love once.
1086
00:59:37,100 --> 00:59:39,200
The most amazing woman
in the world.
1087
00:59:39,300 --> 00:59:41,100
She was my best friend.
1088
00:59:41,200 --> 00:59:45,300
But I was young, stupid,
and I messed it up.
1089
00:59:45,500 --> 00:59:48,400
My great list of mistakes,
that was the greatest.
1090
00:59:48,600 --> 00:59:50,900
- Who was this?
- Your mother.
1091
00:59:52,700 --> 00:59:57,600
And when I finally realized how
stupid I was, I decided to fight for it...
1092
00:59:57,600 --> 00:59:59,300
...but I was too late.
1093
01:00:00,300 --> 01:00:02,500
She wouldn't take me back.
1094
01:00:02,900 --> 01:00:04,000
And she was right.
1095
01:00:06,300 --> 01:00:08,400
And then it really was too late.
1096
01:00:15,000 --> 01:00:16,800
By the way...
1097
01:00:17,900 --> 01:00:19,400
...I'm getting another divorce.
1098
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:25,900
Oh, Pop.
1099
01:00:30,100 --> 01:00:33,200
Hey. Go and get her, you pussy.
1100
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:37,100
What about the dresses?
1101
01:00:37,100 --> 01:00:40,200
UPS is delivering tomorrow morning.
I gave you the tracking number.
1102
01:00:40,300 --> 01:00:41,900
I got it, I got it, I got it.
1103
01:00:42,900 --> 01:00:45,800
Okay, so Colin and Hannah are
gonna meet everyone at the house.
1104
01:00:45,900 --> 01:00:47,700
Okay, great.
1105
01:00:48,200 --> 01:00:49,700
- Thomas.
- Yeah.
1106
01:00:49,700 --> 01:00:51,600
- Go get them, maid of honor.
- Yeah.
1107
01:00:51,700 --> 01:00:53,600
Make this the perfect wedding.
1108
01:00:54,300 --> 01:00:55,800
And steal the bride.
1109
01:00:55,800 --> 01:00:58,300
Thanks, guys. Thanks.
Thanks for everything, man.
1110
01:00:58,400 --> 01:01:00,600
- Thank you so much, all right?
- All right, baby.
1111
01:01:00,700 --> 01:01:03,900
All right, all right, all right.
Get out of here. I'll see you later.
1112
01:01:12,300 --> 01:01:16,300
- This is like a fairy tale.
- Hannah is so lucky.
1113
01:01:16,300 --> 01:01:18,700
- I know.
- I wish I was her.
1114
01:01:18,800 --> 01:01:20,800
How she ever found
such a great guy...
1115
01:01:20,900 --> 01:01:23,300
- We'll come visit her.
- All the time.
1116
01:01:49,100 --> 01:01:51,600
Hey. Hey.
1117
01:01:51,700 --> 01:01:53,400
What's your name?
1118
01:01:53,700 --> 01:01:56,300
You're a pretty dog. Oh, I love you.
1119
01:02:03,900 --> 01:02:06,800
- That's his house?
- No. Is this the summer house?
1120
01:02:06,900 --> 01:02:09,200
The McMurrays
have homes for each season.
1121
01:02:09,200 --> 01:02:11,100
This summer home is the smallest.
1122
01:02:11,200 --> 01:02:13,600
They also have an autumn home,
winter home, spring...
1123
01:02:13,700 --> 01:02:15,500
I know the seasons, buddy.
1124
01:02:15,600 --> 01:02:17,100
Somebody's richer than you, Tom.
1125
01:02:17,200 --> 01:02:20,500
I guess you gotta go
invent something even stupider.
1126
01:02:48,800 --> 01:02:52,000
The entire castle was actually built
in 1220 in the 13th century.
1127
01:02:52,100 --> 01:02:56,200
- This is incredible, isn't it?
- But around the 7th...
1128
01:02:56,800 --> 01:02:59,800
Grandma Pearl, Joan,
this is my mother, Dierdre...
1129
01:02:59,800 --> 01:03:02,300
...and my father, Mungo.
1130
01:03:04,500 --> 01:03:06,400
- How do you do?
- How do you do?
1131
01:03:06,600 --> 01:03:08,900
Nice to meet you, Joan.
Nice to meet you. Welcome.
1132
01:03:08,900 --> 01:03:11,600
I want you to meet someone
who is special to my Hannah...
1133
01:03:11,500 --> 01:03:16,800
...and has been a lifelong friend,
and now her maid of honor: Tom.
1134
01:03:16,800 --> 01:03:17,900
Yes.
1135
01:03:18,000 --> 01:03:20,100
Did he just say
he's the maid of honor?
1136
01:03:20,200 --> 01:03:21,300
He's a bloke.
1137
01:03:21,300 --> 01:03:23,100
- How do you do?
- Very good, thank you.
1138
01:03:23,200 --> 01:03:25,000
- Mungo.
- Mungo, pleasure. Thank you.
1139
01:03:25,200 --> 01:03:26,400
Definitely gay.
1140
01:03:26,500 --> 01:03:29,100
Oh, and these are the bridesmaids:
1141
01:03:29,200 --> 01:03:31,200
Hilary, Stephanie and Melissa.
1142
01:03:31,900 --> 01:03:33,400
- How do you do?
- Oh, hello.
1143
01:03:33,500 --> 01:03:35,000
- Hi.
- Nice that you could come.
1144
01:03:35,100 --> 01:03:36,700
How do you do?
1145
01:03:37,500 --> 01:03:39,600
How do you do?
1146
01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:44,700
- So, what do you think?
- I think they think I'm gay.
1147
01:03:44,600 --> 01:03:46,100
- What?
- Can we get together?
1148
01:03:46,200 --> 01:03:47,300
Talk, catch up?
1149
01:03:47,300 --> 01:03:49,300
Tom, Tom,
do you wanna see your chamber?
1150
01:03:49,400 --> 01:03:51,800
- I'd love to. Thank you. Thank you.
- Follow me.
1151
01:04:02,600 --> 01:04:04,000
Thank you.
1152
01:04:05,100 --> 01:04:06,600
Thank you.
1153
01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:08,300
Now, then.
1154
01:04:08,300 --> 01:04:12,400
I think just a few more sprigs
of gypsophila at the front there.
1155
01:04:12,300 --> 01:04:13,900
Lovely.
1156
01:04:14,400 --> 01:04:15,500
What do you guys think?
1157
01:04:15,500 --> 01:04:17,600
- Oh, it is gorgeous.
- You look amazing.
1158
01:04:17,600 --> 01:04:19,300
- It is so pretty.
- With the veil...
1159
01:04:19,400 --> 01:04:21,500
- It's so shiny, it's gorgeous.
- It's you.
1160
01:04:21,500 --> 01:04:23,200
What do you think?
1161
01:04:23,300 --> 01:04:24,700
Of?
1162
01:04:24,800 --> 01:04:27,400
The hair. Yeah, it...
1163
01:04:28,500 --> 01:04:31,000
This sash will go on the dress.
1164
01:04:31,900 --> 01:04:34,000
- Really?
- Tradition.
1165
01:04:37,100 --> 01:04:38,300
What's up with the hair?
1166
01:04:38,400 --> 01:04:42,300
Well, I'm not entirely sure that...
1167
01:04:42,300 --> 01:04:45,300
No, you see, it's attached up here
with a lovely big...
1168
01:04:45,200 --> 01:04:47,900
You're the maid of honor.
It's good to just be supportive...
1169
01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:49,900
- I'm supportive.
- I don't think you are.
1170
01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:51,500
- I think I am.
- No, listen to me.
1171
01:04:51,600 --> 01:04:53,700
No, you're doing great,
you're doing great.
1172
01:04:53,800 --> 01:04:55,300
Hannah.
1173
01:04:55,700 --> 01:04:58,800
Actually, you know,
your hair looks amazing.
1174
01:04:59,300 --> 01:05:01,600
- Really?
- Yes.
1175
01:05:02,300 --> 01:05:05,600
The games will be starting soon.
Here are your costumes.
1176
01:05:05,700 --> 01:05:06,700
Games?
1177
01:05:06,800 --> 01:05:08,200
- Costumes.
- Our costumes?
1178
01:05:08,300 --> 01:05:09,800
What do you mean "games"?
1179
01:05:09,900 --> 01:05:11,300
Oh, the Highland Games.
1180
01:05:11,700 --> 01:05:13,700
It's a tradition
in honor of the wedding.
1181
01:05:13,800 --> 01:05:16,700
It goes right back to the time
when the groom had to prove...
1182
01:05:16,700 --> 01:05:19,000
...that he was man enough
to deserve the bride.
1183
01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:22,000
If he didn't win,
he didn't get the bride.
1184
01:05:22,100 --> 01:05:24,200
No problem for my Colin.
1185
01:05:28,600 --> 01:05:32,400
Welcome, one and all,
to the Highland Games.
1186
01:05:32,500 --> 01:05:35,800
Men have traveled from
all four corners of this great country...
1187
01:05:35,900 --> 01:05:38,700
...to compete
in feats of strength and agility.
1188
01:05:38,700 --> 01:05:41,800
But only one warrior
will be man enough to claim the bride.
1189
01:05:44,900 --> 01:05:46,900
One competitor
who needs no introduction...
1190
01:05:46,900 --> 01:05:49,400
...is our very own Colin McMurray.
1191
01:05:49,500 --> 01:05:52,100
- Doesn't my Colin look handsome?
- Coming up the rear...
1192
01:05:52,200 --> 01:05:57,600
...all the way from America,
Hannah's maid of honor, Tom...
1193
01:05:58,400 --> 01:05:59,900
...who I think you'll agree...
1194
01:05:59,900 --> 01:06:02,900
...is wearing a rather fetching
wee minikilt.
1195
01:06:03,800 --> 01:06:05,700
Who was in charge of that?
1196
01:06:05,800 --> 01:06:07,400
I have no idea.
1197
01:06:07,500 --> 01:06:10,300
Yeah, you're sexy!
1198
01:06:29,300 --> 01:06:31,600
Everybody giving their all.
1199
01:06:32,100 --> 01:06:34,300
And we're running neck and neck.
1200
01:06:34,300 --> 01:06:38,200
A Scotsman against a Yank.
1201
01:06:38,800 --> 01:06:42,600
Ladies and gentlemen, the result
of today's Highland Games...
1202
01:06:42,500 --> 01:06:44,400
...rests upon the caber toss.
1203
01:06:44,400 --> 01:06:47,400
The competition
is down to two competitors.
1204
01:06:47,500 --> 01:06:50,900
- A tree. We're tossing a tree?
- Yeah.
1205
01:06:53,300 --> 01:06:54,700
What a toss.
1206
01:06:55,000 --> 01:06:56,600
What a toss.
1207
01:06:56,600 --> 01:06:58,300
- Way to go, Colin.
- He's strong.
1208
01:06:58,400 --> 01:07:01,400
Well, then, Tom.
Let's see what you're made of.
1209
01:07:02,000 --> 01:07:04,900
The whole competition
rests on this throw.
1210
01:07:04,900 --> 01:07:07,400
Look alive, lassie.
1211
01:07:11,500 --> 01:07:13,700
Come on, Tom. Oh, gosh.
1212
01:07:14,600 --> 01:07:17,700
Okay, I can do this. I can do this.
Okay, here we go.
1213
01:07:19,000 --> 01:07:21,600
Okay. Okay, okay. I got it.
1214
01:07:21,700 --> 01:07:25,100
Okay. Okay. Here we go.
Here we go.
1215
01:07:26,400 --> 01:07:28,900
Watch your step. Watch your step.
Watch your step.
1216
01:07:43,300 --> 01:07:47,500
Oh, dear.
That's gonna cost the Yank the girl.
1217
01:07:48,700 --> 01:07:51,000
What an ass.
1218
01:07:51,000 --> 01:07:55,700
And the winner of the Highland Games
is our very own Colin McMurray!
1219
01:08:02,100 --> 01:08:04,800
Great, lad! Good on you.
1220
01:08:05,900 --> 01:08:07,400
That's great.
1221
01:08:46,800 --> 01:08:49,500
Well done, my boy. Well done.
1222
01:08:52,100 --> 01:08:55,400
- So cute.
- Well done, my boy.
1223
01:09:03,900 --> 01:09:08,900
Robert Burns, who wrote that song,
is Scotland's most famous poet.
1224
01:09:11,600 --> 01:09:15,100
No, Auntie, we haven't had any bairns
yet, so we haven't got any names.
1225
01:09:15,100 --> 01:09:16,700
Bairns means children.
1226
01:09:16,800 --> 01:09:20,400
I'm so sorry, I'm having a hard
time understanding your accent.
1227
01:09:20,500 --> 01:09:22,600
- Athol.
- Excuse me?
1228
01:09:23,200 --> 01:09:25,300
It's a name for the children.
1229
01:09:25,400 --> 01:09:26,900
- Athol.
- Athol.
1230
01:09:28,100 --> 01:09:29,900
Little Athol.
1231
01:09:31,400 --> 01:09:35,200
Yeah, no,
we won't be naming our child Athol.
1232
01:09:35,200 --> 01:09:37,300
Maybe when he's a teenager.
1233
01:09:37,500 --> 01:09:39,500
My mother's cousin
was the Duke of Athol.
1234
01:09:39,500 --> 01:09:42,300
We're a long line of Athols.
1235
01:09:42,700 --> 01:09:44,800
Well, maybe we'll keep it
in the mix, eh?
1236
01:09:44,900 --> 01:09:46,400
Maybe as a middle name?
1237
01:09:59,200 --> 01:10:01,000
So, Hannah,
do you like the venison?
1238
01:10:01,100 --> 01:10:03,000
It's delicious.
1239
01:10:03,800 --> 01:10:06,000
Colin shot it. He's a wonderful shot.
1240
01:10:06,100 --> 01:10:08,300
Oh, stop, Mom,
you'll make me blush.
1241
01:10:08,400 --> 01:10:10,800
And this is the moment,
I've just remembered.
1242
01:10:11,200 --> 01:10:12,400
What moment's that?
1243
01:10:12,500 --> 01:10:15,800
When Colin killed the deer.
I filmed it.
1244
01:10:19,400 --> 01:10:21,000
Right between the eyes.
1245
01:10:23,800 --> 01:10:27,800
In fact, everything we are eating
this evening, Colin has killed.
1246
01:10:29,300 --> 01:10:30,500
- Colin.
- To Colin.
1247
01:10:30,700 --> 01:10:33,000
In your honor, Hannah.
1248
01:10:33,400 --> 01:10:35,200
That is so thoughtful.
1249
01:10:35,800 --> 01:10:38,800
I'm so sorry
I didn't kill anything for you.
1250
01:10:45,200 --> 01:10:48,500
Oh, gosh. What did you get?
1251
01:10:48,800 --> 01:10:51,000
Oh, I love chocolate.
1252
01:10:51,100 --> 01:10:52,900
Don't... Don't do that.
1253
01:10:53,600 --> 01:10:55,100
If you want some...
1254
01:10:56,800 --> 01:10:59,500
Here. Give you some.
1255
01:10:59,400 --> 01:11:00,900
Okay?
1256
01:11:09,000 --> 01:11:10,700
Excuse me. Hi.
1257
01:11:10,900 --> 01:11:12,400
Reverend.
1258
01:11:13,500 --> 01:11:16,100
Excuse me. Sorry to... There you go.
1259
01:11:16,200 --> 01:11:17,900
- A wonderful dinner.
- Delighted, Tom.
1260
01:11:18,100 --> 01:11:21,300
- And your wife is looking for you.
- Oh, thank you very much.
1261
01:11:21,500 --> 01:11:23,700
- Nice one.
- Cheers.
1262
01:11:24,900 --> 01:11:27,400
A little birdie tells me
Colin personally slayed...
1263
01:11:27,400 --> 01:11:29,800
...each one of these reindeer heads.
1264
01:11:29,800 --> 01:11:31,300
- Tom.
- You're right.
1265
01:11:31,400 --> 01:11:34,900
When I say a little birdie told me,
he would've told me, but Colin shot it.
1266
01:11:35,200 --> 01:11:39,500
Listen, seriously. Can we go
somewhere private and talk?
1267
01:11:39,500 --> 01:11:41,800
- It's important.
- Yeah.
1268
01:11:42,700 --> 01:11:44,400
Shall we go?
1269
01:11:47,400 --> 01:11:48,800
Bagpipes.
1270
01:11:49,900 --> 01:11:52,400
Oh, my God.
1271
01:11:52,500 --> 01:11:54,500
You know,
he's been playing the bagpipes...
1272
01:11:54,500 --> 01:11:58,500
...ever since he was 3 years old.
Practices every night.
1273
01:11:58,500 --> 01:12:01,100
- Every night?
- Never misses.
1274
01:12:04,300 --> 01:12:06,300
What kind of necklace is that?
1275
01:12:06,400 --> 01:12:09,300
They're glow-in-the-dark
thunder beads.
1276
01:12:21,700 --> 01:12:25,700
- Oh, hi, Mom.
- I have something for you.
1277
01:12:28,400 --> 01:12:30,200
Some evening, huh?
1278
01:12:30,300 --> 01:12:31,800
Yes.
1279
01:12:33,300 --> 01:12:36,600
This is so you can have
a little piece of home with you.
1280
01:12:36,700 --> 01:12:38,200
Thank you.
1281
01:12:41,200 --> 01:12:43,100
Look at you.
1282
01:12:43,900 --> 01:12:45,500
There's you and Melissa.
1283
01:12:45,500 --> 01:12:48,400
You were about 5 there.
1284
01:12:50,500 --> 01:12:52,500
Oh, do you remember this?
1285
01:12:52,500 --> 01:12:55,300
It was taken at the lake
when your father broke his arm...
1286
01:12:55,300 --> 01:12:58,300
...because of that
silly motorcycle of his.
1287
01:12:58,400 --> 01:12:59,800
I miss Dad so much.
1288
01:13:00,100 --> 01:13:01,700
Me too, sweetheart.
1289
01:13:02,000 --> 01:13:04,600
I just wish he could've been here.
1290
01:13:04,700 --> 01:13:07,400
He was always so worried
I was never gonna meet anyone.
1291
01:13:07,800 --> 01:13:09,000
Oh, no, he wasn't.
1292
01:13:09,100 --> 01:13:10,500
Oh, that's Paris.
1293
01:13:10,600 --> 01:13:13,100
He could be so off-base sometimes.
1294
01:13:13,200 --> 01:13:14,300
What?
1295
01:13:14,700 --> 01:13:17,700
Well,
it's just he was always convinced...
1296
01:13:17,700 --> 01:13:19,500
...that you were gonna marry Tom.
1297
01:13:20,800 --> 01:13:22,200
Really?
1298
01:13:24,800 --> 01:13:26,900
I'll see you in the morning.
1299
01:13:26,900 --> 01:13:28,900
Good night, my angel.
1300
01:13:31,200 --> 01:13:34,500
It's pulling of a Band-Aid. You just
have to close your eyes and do it.
1301
01:13:36,300 --> 01:13:38,200
But I just haven't found
the right time.
1302
01:13:38,300 --> 01:13:40,400
What are you talking about,
"right time"?
1303
01:13:40,500 --> 01:13:43,900
Any time is the right time to say
"I love you. Marry me. "
1304
01:13:44,700 --> 01:13:47,300
- Right.
- Come on, what are you there for?
1305
01:13:47,500 --> 01:13:50,600
Take the shot, win the game,
and bring her home.
1306
01:13:50,600 --> 01:13:54,100
And stop running up my long-distance
phone bill with these crazy calls.
1307
01:13:54,100 --> 01:13:57,600
Right. Right, right, okay.
Thanks, Felix.
1308
01:13:57,800 --> 01:14:00,300
You can do this, Tom.
You can do this, you can do this.
1309
01:14:00,400 --> 01:14:03,100
What's wrong with me?
You can do this. You can do this.
1310
01:14:14,900 --> 01:14:16,000
- Hey.
- Hey.
1311
01:14:16,100 --> 01:14:19,200
Hey, I thought we could go for a walk
and work on the vows.
1312
01:14:19,300 --> 01:14:21,200
- Good idea. I could use some help.
- Yeah.
1313
01:14:21,300 --> 01:14:22,700
Good, okay.
1314
01:14:25,500 --> 01:14:27,600
- What do you think?
- I think a lot of things.
1315
01:14:27,700 --> 01:14:30,500
I've been working on them,
I think they're getting worse.
1316
01:14:30,400 --> 01:14:33,700
At first I went for the emotion,
then I thought, what if Colin doesn't?
1317
01:14:33,800 --> 01:14:35,900
I tried to be funny.
I don't know if Scots...
1318
01:14:35,900 --> 01:14:38,000
...have the same sense of humor
as Americans.
1319
01:14:38,100 --> 01:14:39,400
I'm back to something basic.
1320
01:14:39,500 --> 01:14:42,200
- I veered off into something boring.
- I'm crazy about you.
1321
01:14:42,300 --> 01:14:46,200
I think about you all the time. I want
to spend the rest of my life with you.
1322
01:14:46,200 --> 01:14:48,600
- Really?
- Really.
1323
01:14:49,300 --> 01:14:50,400
That's so generic.
1324
01:14:50,900 --> 01:14:53,100
- Generic? Generic?
- Yeah.
1325
01:14:53,200 --> 01:14:55,200
- It totally is.
- How can that be generic?
1326
01:14:55,200 --> 01:14:57,100
It sounds like something to say...
1327
01:14:57,200 --> 01:14:59,700
...as opposed
to what you're really feeling.
1328
01:15:02,800 --> 01:15:04,700
All right, how about...
1329
01:15:07,700 --> 01:15:11,700
Nobody in the world
makes me laugh the way you do.
1330
01:15:12,900 --> 01:15:13,900
You're my best friend.
1331
01:15:17,000 --> 01:15:18,700
I just want to be with you.
1332
01:15:25,600 --> 01:15:29,800
Look out, look out, look out!
There she is! Hannah, let's go!
1333
01:15:29,800 --> 01:15:31,100
What is this?
1334
01:15:31,200 --> 01:15:33,200
- This is her "taking out. "
- Her what?
1335
01:15:33,300 --> 01:15:36,200
We dress her up and then
we parade her around one of the pubs.
1336
01:15:36,300 --> 01:15:38,100
- That's weird.
- It's tradition.
1337
01:15:38,200 --> 01:15:42,600
And then we fill a toilet with salt
and we sell your kisses for change.
1338
01:15:43,000 --> 01:15:46,400
- Really? They sell your kisses?
- Yup.
1339
01:15:47,400 --> 01:15:49,800
Come on,
it's like a Scottish bachelorette party.
1340
01:16:06,400 --> 01:16:08,200
Okay, come on.
1341
01:16:18,400 --> 01:16:22,400
All right, let's sell some kisses!
1342
01:16:27,600 --> 01:16:30,800
It's her taking out.
She's got the breath of an angel.
1343
01:17:17,600 --> 01:17:19,300
- Another.
- Another.
1344
01:17:19,400 --> 01:17:20,500
Thank you!
1345
01:17:24,500 --> 01:17:26,400
This is all I have.
1346
01:18:09,600 --> 01:18:11,800
- Oh, my gosh, you guys!
- What?
1347
01:18:11,900 --> 01:18:14,000
Don't drop your pot.
1348
01:18:14,000 --> 01:18:16,300
- We have to get more kisses!
- Kisses!
1349
01:18:16,300 --> 01:18:19,800
- More kisses.
- Kisses.
1350
01:19:21,300 --> 01:19:23,500
- I can't take it anymore.
- What are you doing?
1351
01:19:23,600 --> 01:19:26,500
- Let's do it again. For old times' sake.
- Don't take that off.
1352
01:19:26,600 --> 01:19:28,800
No, Tom,
I need to make this up to you.
1353
01:19:28,900 --> 01:19:30,000
Don't take this...
1354
01:19:30,400 --> 01:19:33,800
- No, I'm really unhappy.
- That's fine.
1355
01:19:33,800 --> 01:19:36,500
- No, it's okay.
- Tom, I'm not happy at all.
1356
01:19:36,500 --> 01:19:41,100
And I am in a really,
really confusing place...
1357
01:19:41,100 --> 01:19:43,900
...in my life right now.
1358
01:19:43,800 --> 01:19:47,100
- Confusing?
- Listen, I have had some whiskey...
1359
01:19:47,200 --> 01:19:50,300
- I can tell.
- ... and I need you to service me.
1360
01:19:50,400 --> 01:19:53,300
- Service you? Service you?
- Service me, bitch!
1361
01:19:53,300 --> 01:19:54,300
Service me!
1362
01:19:54,500 --> 01:19:56,800
- Be quiet. Be quiet.
- You be quiet.
1363
01:19:56,900 --> 01:20:00,800
- Get off of me. Just be quiet.
- You get down.
1364
01:20:01,400 --> 01:20:03,500
- Be quiet.
- Be quiet! You be...
1365
01:20:05,300 --> 01:20:08,100
Don't! Get off!
1366
01:20:09,300 --> 01:20:11,400
Wait! Wait!
1367
01:20:11,900 --> 01:20:14,000
Bring me more whiskeys.
1368
01:20:17,300 --> 01:20:18,900
Hannah!
1369
01:20:19,000 --> 01:20:21,300
It's Tom, let me in. Let me in.
1370
01:20:21,300 --> 01:20:23,900
- Go away, Tom.
- No, no, no, let me explain.
1371
01:20:23,900 --> 01:20:26,000
- It's not what you think.
- It doesn't matter.
1372
01:20:26,100 --> 01:20:28,000
- Yes, it does.
- Just go.
1373
01:20:28,200 --> 01:20:31,200
I'll go. Just tell me,
why did you come to my room?
1374
01:20:34,100 --> 01:20:37,500
Hannah?
Why did you come to the room?
1375
01:20:37,600 --> 01:20:39,500
To talk about that kiss.
1376
01:20:42,300 --> 01:20:43,800
Oh, Hannah.
1377
01:20:46,400 --> 01:20:49,000
Please don't... Don't marry him.
1378
01:20:49,900 --> 01:20:52,600
- All these years, Tom.
- Don't marry him.
1379
01:20:52,700 --> 01:20:56,600
All this time.
You're doing this now?
1380
01:20:57,000 --> 01:20:59,500
- I know.
- How can you do this?
1381
01:20:59,500 --> 01:21:02,700
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Just let me in.
- No, I can't.
1382
01:21:03,200 --> 01:21:04,200
Let me in.
1383
01:21:04,500 --> 01:21:07,700
You're only doing this now
because you're afraid of losing me.
1384
01:21:11,700 --> 01:21:14,800
I need someone
who's gonna be there for me...
1385
01:21:15,200 --> 01:21:17,400
...no matter what happens.
1386
01:21:20,800 --> 01:21:24,700
Someone who truly loves me.
1387
01:21:27,900 --> 01:21:30,000
Someone I can trust.
1388
01:21:37,100 --> 01:21:40,200
I'm marrying Colin tomorrow...
1389
01:21:40,300 --> 01:21:41,300
...Tom.
1390
01:21:59,100 --> 01:22:01,200
I can't be your maid of honor.
1391
01:22:02,800 --> 01:22:04,900
I can't give you away.
1392
01:22:12,500 --> 01:22:14,400
I'm sorry, Hannah.
1393
01:22:16,100 --> 01:22:18,500
I'm sorry you and Tom had a fight.
1394
01:22:19,500 --> 01:22:21,500
I'm his best friend.
1395
01:22:22,300 --> 01:22:24,700
He's just afraid of losing me.
1396
01:22:27,000 --> 01:22:30,500
- He'll get over it.
- Aye.
1397
01:22:58,300 --> 01:23:00,600
- Can you just suck it? Suck it.
- Okay, okay. I am.
1398
01:23:00,700 --> 01:23:03,000
Suck it in. Breathe in. More.
1399
01:23:03,100 --> 01:23:06,300
- Pull it! You can get into it!
- Pull it! I'll pull it tighter!
1400
01:23:06,400 --> 01:23:11,400
I'll hold, you zip it together.
Come on! One, two.
1401
01:23:11,400 --> 01:23:13,500
Three!
1402
01:23:14,600 --> 01:23:16,100
It didn't...
1403
01:23:16,300 --> 01:23:18,000
- Oh, my God, it fits.
- It fits!
1404
01:23:18,100 --> 01:23:20,400
Oh, it fits! It fits.
1405
01:23:20,400 --> 01:23:22,100
Up top.
1406
01:23:50,800 --> 01:23:54,200
- Why are we stopping?
- Unruly flock.
1407
01:23:54,200 --> 01:23:55,500
What?
1408
01:24:37,500 --> 01:24:39,100
I remember you.
1409
01:24:40,200 --> 01:24:41,600
Hey.
1410
01:24:52,600 --> 01:24:54,800
I love you too.
1411
01:24:55,000 --> 01:24:56,500
Thank you.
1412
01:24:57,700 --> 01:25:00,400
Turn around. I have to go back.
1413
01:25:28,800 --> 01:25:29,800
Oh, no.
1414
01:25:30,000 --> 01:25:32,600
Shit. Shit! Shit!
1415
01:25:32,700 --> 01:25:34,300
Hey! I need another ferry boat.
1416
01:25:34,500 --> 01:25:36,400
- We've only got the one ferry.
- What?
1417
01:25:36,400 --> 01:25:39,700
It's waiting over there
for the ceremony to finish.
1418
01:25:39,700 --> 01:25:42,100
- Is there another way to get there?
- You can drive.
1419
01:25:42,200 --> 01:25:44,200
- Drive. How long?
- About an hour and a half.
1420
01:25:44,300 --> 01:25:46,200
- That's too long.
- You can swim.
1421
01:25:46,300 --> 01:25:49,900
You can go on foot around the shore.
But that would take a wee while.
1422
01:25:49,900 --> 01:25:51,200
Foot.
1423
01:25:52,400 --> 01:25:55,200
A horse. Horse.
Hey, I need your horse.
1424
01:25:55,300 --> 01:25:56,800
- My horse?
- Yes.
1425
01:25:57,500 --> 01:26:00,500
- Hey, come down from there, you.
- I need to get to the church.
1426
01:26:00,600 --> 01:26:03,300
What do you think you're planning?
You'll hurt yourself.
1427
01:26:03,200 --> 01:26:05,600
I'll give you 3 cents
for every coffee collar used.
1428
01:26:05,700 --> 01:26:07,800
Do you have any idea
how much money that is?
1429
01:26:07,800 --> 01:26:11,100
- Good luck to you. Her name's Nancy.
- Thanks. Nancy. Let's go!
1430
01:26:15,400 --> 01:26:16,900
Stick to the shoreline.
1431
01:26:17,400 --> 01:26:20,800
Past the monument.
The church is on the left.
1432
01:26:21,300 --> 01:26:26,000
What in the name of the wee man
is a coffee collar?
1433
01:26:26,600 --> 01:26:28,000
Easy.
1434
01:26:32,600 --> 01:26:35,800
Let's just pin
these nice pressed pleats.
1435
01:26:35,800 --> 01:26:40,500
And it goes across the dress,
it looks really beautiful. It's our tartan.
1436
01:26:55,600 --> 01:26:57,200
That's it.
1437
01:27:02,600 --> 01:27:04,800
Please be seated.
1438
01:27:06,700 --> 01:27:08,800
We are gathered here
in the sight of God...
1439
01:27:08,900 --> 01:27:11,700
Boys, give me your pins. Pins.
1440
01:27:11,800 --> 01:27:14,000
- to join together this man
and this wo...
1441
01:27:19,100 --> 01:27:21,400
This is a celebration of love.
1442
01:27:21,900 --> 01:27:25,800
For Colin, it's through the memories
of seeing his parents' love as a child.
1443
01:27:25,800 --> 01:27:28,700
- It's very nice.
- And for Hannah...
1444
01:27:28,800 --> 01:27:31,600
...it's through the paintings
of Modigliani.
1445
01:27:31,600 --> 01:27:34,500
Therefore, if any man
can show just cause...
1446
01:27:34,500 --> 01:27:37,300
...why they may not
be lawfully joined together...
1447
01:27:37,400 --> 01:27:40,200
...let him now speak
or forever hold his peace.
1448
01:27:47,400 --> 01:27:48,900
Tom?
1449
01:27:55,900 --> 01:27:59,800
Tom? Tom?
1450
01:27:59,900 --> 01:28:03,400
Tom. Tom.
1451
01:28:04,100 --> 01:28:05,600
Tom.
1452
01:28:06,700 --> 01:28:08,400
Tom.
1453
01:28:10,400 --> 01:28:12,700
Tom. Are you okay?
1454
01:28:12,700 --> 01:28:14,400
Yeah, I think so.
1455
01:28:14,500 --> 01:28:16,800
Tom, what are you doing here?
1456
01:28:16,900 --> 01:28:19,300
- I have to tell you something.
- Yeah.
1457
01:28:19,300 --> 01:28:20,500
Hannah...
1458
01:28:23,000 --> 01:28:24,800
- Your hair looks awful.
- It does?
1459
01:28:24,900 --> 01:28:25,900
- Yeah.
- What?
1460
01:28:26,000 --> 01:28:27,600
And the sash...
1461
01:28:28,600 --> 01:28:30,100
...it sucks.
1462
01:28:30,300 --> 01:28:31,800
Oh, no.
1463
01:28:31,900 --> 01:28:33,800
But that hair...
1464
01:28:34,700 --> 01:28:36,700
...it's like a co-op for parakeets.
1465
01:28:36,800 --> 01:28:38,300
What?
1466
01:28:38,400 --> 01:28:41,000
Look, Hannah.
1467
01:28:41,000 --> 01:28:44,600
You know, I pride myself
on being honest with everybody.
1468
01:28:44,600 --> 01:28:47,800
But there's somebody
I've been lying to for a very long time:
1469
01:28:47,900 --> 01:28:49,400
Myself.
1470
01:28:50,400 --> 01:28:52,400
Because the truth is...
1471
01:28:52,400 --> 01:28:53,600
Is scary.
1472
01:28:54,500 --> 01:28:57,900
And 10 years ago,
I got in bed with the wrong girl.
1473
01:28:58,400 --> 01:29:00,800
She turned out to be the right one.
1474
01:29:07,100 --> 01:29:08,500
I love you, Hannah.
1475
01:29:09,700 --> 01:29:11,300
I always have.
1476
01:29:11,700 --> 01:29:13,800
And I always will.
1477
01:29:15,300 --> 01:29:17,200
Thomas Bailey...
1478
01:29:17,700 --> 01:29:21,400
...you are the worst
maid of honor of all time.
1479
01:29:46,300 --> 01:29:47,900
Oh, no.
1480
01:30:00,200 --> 01:30:01,600
I'm...
1481
01:30:02,300 --> 01:30:03,900
...so...
1482
01:30:06,400 --> 01:30:08,900
...very truly sorry.
1483
01:30:14,400 --> 01:30:16,200
I don't expect you to ever forgive me.
1484
01:30:21,600 --> 01:30:23,500
Just so you know...
1485
01:30:25,000 --> 01:30:27,100
...you are the perfect guy.
1486
01:30:29,200 --> 01:30:30,900
Just not the perfect guy for me.
1487
01:30:44,300 --> 01:30:45,600
Goodbye, Hannah.
1488
01:30:48,000 --> 01:30:49,600
Colin.
1489
01:30:53,800 --> 01:30:54,900
What'd she say?
1490
01:30:55,300 --> 01:30:57,700
- She said I should deck you.
- Yeah, that makes sense.
1491
01:31:01,700 --> 01:31:02,900
Asshole.
1492
01:31:17,500 --> 01:31:18,600
I do.
1493
01:31:18,700 --> 01:31:22,600
And, Tom, do you take Hannah
to be your lawfully wedded wife?
1494
01:31:22,600 --> 01:31:24,200
I do.
1495
01:31:24,200 --> 01:31:26,200
Now, this is the moment.
1496
01:31:29,000 --> 01:31:32,100
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
1497
01:31:32,100 --> 01:31:35,600
At last, you may kiss your bride.
1498
01:31:59,500 --> 01:32:01,200
Oh, my gosh.
1499
01:32:01,500 --> 01:32:03,900
- Number six?
- Seven.
1500
01:32:05,100 --> 01:32:08,400
You're absolutely glowing tonight,
Grandma Pearl.
1501
01:32:08,400 --> 01:32:10,200
Thank you.
1502
01:32:10,700 --> 01:32:13,500
It's very nice of you to say so.
1503
01:32:24,100 --> 01:32:25,700
What are you doing?
1504
01:32:28,300 --> 01:32:30,700
I'm just making sure
I got the right girl this time.
1505
01:32:30,700 --> 01:32:34,100
You do. Definitely.
1506
01:32:38,700 --> 01:32:40,900
Oh, Monica.
1507
01:32:41,000 --> 01:32:43,600
Oh, Bill.