1 00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:08,072 Ashes and Diamonds, 2 00:00:08,174 --> 00:00:10,972 Andrzej Wajda's next film after Kanal, 3 00:00:11,911 --> 00:00:14,539 that I personally consider to be the best one, 4 00:00:14,647 --> 00:00:19,016 certainly one of the three best Polish films to date, 5 00:00:19,119 --> 00:00:22,885 Ashes and Diamonds is a story about the last days of the war, 6 00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:29,018 But the Germans have gone, the war continues somewhere far away, 7 00:00:29,129 --> 00:00:32,189 and here in this town, far behind the front line, 8 00:00:32,298 --> 00:00:34,061 there's a celebration, 9 00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:38,433 a party celebrating the last day of the war, 10 00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:44,738 But there was a difference between the last day of the war 11 00:00:44,844 --> 00:00:47,870 in America, France, or even the Soviet Union, 12 00:00:47,981 --> 00:00:49,608 and that in Poland, 13 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:52,651 In those three countries I mentioned, it was a day of victory 14 00:00:52,752 --> 00:00:55,619 and joy that it was finally over, 15 00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:58,452 "Our sacrifices and casualties made sense, 16 00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:01,425 Now we can breathe in peace", 17 00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:03,325 In Poland it was the opposite, 18 00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:08,891 because, on the one hand, the German occupier retreated, 19 00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:13,166 but on the other hand, the Russian occupier, 20 00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:15,764 about whom we didn't yet know much, was approaching. 21 00:01:15,875 --> 00:01:21,006 But we strongly suspected that the worst was yet to come. 22 00:01:21,114 --> 00:01:24,015 The difference in atmosphere 23 00:01:24,117 --> 00:01:26,813 between the last days of the war here and there 24 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:30,185 made clear that we had something to say to the world, 25 00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:31,917 something new and different, 26 00:01:32,025 --> 00:01:36,155 that could only happen here, on this soil, 27 00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:41,598 something impossible to transfer to an American context, 28 00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:45,332 Ashes and Diamonds is an adaptation 29 00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:47,668 of a very popular book by Jerzy Andrzejewski 30 00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,901 published right after the war. 31 00:01:50,009 --> 00:01:52,910 I didn't even read this book when it was pu bl ished, 32 00:01:53,012 --> 00:01:57,813 because it was required reading for students, 33 00:01:57,917 --> 00:02:00,545 and I have to say I wasn't interested in it, 34 00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:07,220 I think Tadeusz Janczar got me interested in it. 35 00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:09,557 I was especially interested in what he told me, 36 00:02:09,662 --> 00:02:13,029 He said, "There's this fantastic scene at the end, 37 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:16,796 It's dawn, and everybody is still dancing even as they leave, 38 00:02:16,903 --> 00:02:18,871 Like in The Wedding, by Wyspianski, " 39 00:02:20,206 --> 00:02:21,833 That stimulated my imagination, 40 00:02:21,941 --> 00:02:24,034 and I began to take an interest in the book. 41 00:02:24,244 --> 00:02:28,908 When I read the novel, I realized there was only one solution : 42 00:02:29,015 --> 00:02:31,643 to fil m it such that everyth i ng happens 43 00:02:31,751 --> 00:02:33,514 over the cou rse of one day and one n ig ht, 44 00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:38,683 The fi rst th i ng was to condense everything into the night of M ay 9th, 45 00:02:38,791 --> 00:02:44,559 when Poland and the entire communist bloc 46 00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:47,690 were celebrating victory, 47 00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:54,065 The war is ending, but it still haunts all the characters:, 48 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:58,975 Ieft-wing communists and resistance fighters 49 00:02:59,078 --> 00:03:02,013 entering this new reality, 50 00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:05,141 carrying the baggage of everything that happened before, 51 00:03:05,518 --> 00:03:07,418 The screenplay was approved - 52 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:10,216 But this was an easier case, 53 00:03:10,323 --> 00:03:15,226 because the book was recognized as a revelation, 54 00:03:15,328 --> 00:03:20,630 and it was very well received by the authorities, 55 00:03:21,167 --> 00:03:24,625 because for them the most important character was the party secretary, 56 00:03:24,737 --> 00:03:28,264 whom they believed to be a positive hero. 57 00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:30,342 Of cou rse, they d id n't suspect that - 58 00:03:30,443 --> 00:03:34,209 They d id n't real ize the fil m version wou ld be 59 00:03:34,414 --> 00:03:39,511 decided ly d ifferent from the book, 60 00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:43,111 I el i m i nated a few story lines from the book 61 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:46,420 and concentrated on Maciek Chelmicki, 62 00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:49,586 who became the main character of the movie, 63 00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:53,723 whereas the main character in the book had been a communist named Szczuka. 64 00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:56,427 Maciek Chelmicki had been just one of the characters. 65 00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:59,063 Andrzejewski liked that idea, 66 00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:02,335 and that was the key to the futu re success of the fil m, 67 00:04:02,442 --> 00:04:04,706 Because nobody was i nterested i n an old com m u n ist, 68 00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:07,143 but they were interested in a young resistance fghter 69 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:11,513 who confronts the new reality - which ends up killing him - 70 00:04:11,618 --> 00:04:15,850 and who has obl igations 71 00:04:15,955 --> 00:04:19,652 not on ly to h is su periors, but also to the oath he took, 72 00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:24,458 So th is choice was a decisive factor in the film's success, 73 00:04:24,564 --> 00:04:31,800 Later, Jerzy Andrzejewski wrote some new scenes and dialogue, 74 00:04:31,904 --> 00:04:34,065 He added a lot of things, 75 00:04:34,173 --> 00:04:40,339 because we recognized that the communist in the book,,, 76 00:04:42,415 --> 00:04:46,249 wasn't colorful enough to use in the flm. 77 00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:49,981 So we added his son, whom he wants to rescue. 78 00:04:50,089 --> 00:04:52,819 The son is on one side. The father on the other. 79 00:04:52,925 --> 00:04:57,385 The son is still in the forest with resistance fghters, 80 00:04:57,497 --> 00:05:01,297 the you ng men who wou ld n't leave the forest 81 00:05:01,401 --> 00:05:03,892 because they thoug ht WW I l I cou ld start at any moment, 82 00:05:04,003 --> 00:05:09,202 And on the other side is this old prewar communist 83 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,174 who wants to build a new reality. 84 00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:20,844 I decided to create a S pan ish past for th is old com m u n ist, 85 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:25,220 meaning he was a communist who had fought in the Spanish war. 86 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:29,352 I came up with this entire made-up scene. 87 00:05:30,963 --> 00:05:33,898 Ou r fi rst days i n S pai n, 88 00:05:34,567 --> 00:05:36,831 G rabowski d ied i n the forest, 89 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:40,002 and R u backi i n F rance i n 1 944, 90 00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:43,767 You remem ber there were 36 of us at fi rst? 91 00:05:44,310 --> 00:05:46,278 And who's left now? 92 00:05:47,146 --> 00:05:48,807 Those were good times, 93 00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:50,883 And these will be good times too, 94 00:05:51,551 --> 00:05:56,921 Those communists who had gone to fight in Spain 95 00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,082 were judged differently in Poland, 96 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:02,889 because they had gone to Spain to fight for somebody else's freedom, 97 00:06:02,995 --> 00:06:05,190 This was an old Polish tradition, 98 00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:09,496 We didn't have freedom ourselves, so we fought for the freedom of others, 99 00:06:09,602 --> 00:06:17,737 And in a moral sense, this group was better received by society 100 00:06:17,844 --> 00:06:20,745 than those who had come from the Soviet Union, 101 00:06:22,815 --> 00:06:27,718 Stalin dealt with that group later, and quite bloodily, for the most part, 102 00:06:27,820 --> 00:06:31,221 So all those who had managed to survive 103 00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:34,316 not only Spain but also Stalin's repression 104 00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:39,228 were a kind of rarity, 105 00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:43,063 I would call them ideological communists, 106 00:06:43,169 --> 00:06:45,160 This was a very important point for me, 107 00:06:45,271 --> 00:06:51,938 That personal plot about his son, and the fact that he had fought in Spain, 108 00:06:52,044 --> 00:06:57,448 cast him in a different light for the audience, 109 00:06:57,950 --> 00:07:04,651 I wanted his character to counterbalance 110 00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:09,524 this young resistance fghter, Maciek Chelmicki, played by Cybulski. 111 00:07:09,695 --> 00:07:12,323 When the screen play was ready, 112 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:17,768 we real ized - especial ly And rzej, of cou rse - 113 00:07:17,870 --> 00:07:23,706 that the film's success, its victory, so to speak, 114 00:07:23,810 --> 00:07:30,682 would depend greatly on how we cast the lead role. 115 00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:35,345 And I won't hide the fact that I was com pletely i nvolved 116 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,753 and wanted Zbyszek Cybu lski to play it rig ht from the start, 117 00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:42,157 Nevertheless, I met with a certain resistance on Andrzej's part, 118 00:07:42,261 --> 00:07:44,957 I suggested Zbyszek to him, of course - 119 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,899 But I wasn't surprised, 120 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:51,697 because Andrzej had already made a note - 121 00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:56,104 He had apparently envisioned, even while the screenplay was being written, 122 00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:59,007 that Tadzio Janczar would play the part, 123 00:07:59,111 --> 00:08:01,545 because he was so amazing in Kanal 124 00:08:02,081 --> 00:08:05,312 and helped create such a con vincing character. 125 00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:08,410 And that role was close to this character, 126 00:08:08,521 --> 00:08:11,957 because there, he'd been involved with the underground and would be so here. 127 00:08:12,058 --> 00:08:16,825 So I bel ieve And rzej was com pletely d isposed towards that, 128 00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:19,555 As far as Cybu lski was concerned, 129 00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:21,656 my problem lay not on ly i n the fact 130 00:08:21,767 --> 00:08:27,535 that he wanted to act in his own shoes, pants, jacket, 131 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:31,132 and dark glasses, which was totally irrational, 132 00:08:32,044 --> 00:08:36,947 but on top of that, because I knew very well how those young men looked, 133 00:08:37,049 --> 00:08:43,386 I was afraid he wou ld be so far removed i n h is behavior 134 00:08:43,489 --> 00:08:50,088 from those Home Army fig hters 135 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:53,962 that everybody wou ld recog n ize it, and nobody would accept him, 136 00:08:54,333 --> 00:08:59,168 I was still representing the audience from the time of the war, 137 00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:02,867 I didn't realize that a different kind of audience would come to the theater, 138 00:09:02,975 --> 00:09:06,376 that it was going to be a young audience, 139 00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:08,777 that they would need their own hero, 140 00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:11,907 and that he would be a hero for that audience. 141 00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:15,482 And that's why I hesitated. 142 00:09:15,588 --> 00:09:18,148 However, for me it was very important 143 00:09:18,257 --> 00:09:21,283 that Zbyszek Cybu lski should play the role for a number of reasons, 144 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:26,525 I won't try to hide the fact that one of the reasons was very selfish, 145 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:31,234 We had begun writing the screenplay of my debut film 146 00:09:31,337 --> 00:09:33,032 Good-bye, Till Tomorrow, 147 00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:37,166 and I knew that if we were separated for six months - 148 00:09:37,276 --> 00:09:39,710 because we were going to shoot the film in Wroclaw, 149 00:09:39,812 --> 00:09:42,280 and back then filming took a long time, 150 00:09:42,381 --> 00:09:43,848 and there were lengthy preparations, 151 00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:47,647 and I knew that if Zbyszek and I got separated for a long time, 152 00:09:48,387 --> 00:09:52,653 we wouldn't finish the screenplay. 153 00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:58,958 And so, I attem pted to sow some seeds of u ncertai nty i n And rzej, 154 00:09:59,065 --> 00:10:04,435 I m ust ad m it, I real ly agon ized over that critical n ig ht, 155 00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:10,100 when I told Kuba Morgenstern - who was not only his supporter, 156 00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:14,236 but was trying to explain to me that I wouldn't find anybody better, 157 00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:16,247 And, of course, he was rig ht, 158 00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:19,250 I held out until the last moment, 159 00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:23,311 because I still thought somebody better would come along, 160 00:10:23,422 --> 00:10:27,620 But I had also suggested Zbyszek for Kanal. 161 00:10:28,661 --> 00:10:30,322 We watched the screen tests together. 162 00:10:30,429 --> 00:10:34,058 And Andrzej said, "Listen, I've always believed" - 163 00:10:34,166 --> 00:10:37,966 and rightfully so, I give him that, "I've always believed 164 00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:41,130 that the eyes are crucial when it comes to actors, 165 00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:43,606 See how Zbyszek looks without glasses, 166 00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:49,204 He has such tiny eyes, and he loses the personality of the character." 167 00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:54,014 Back then, of course, I was working as Andrzej's assistant for the first time, 168 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,611 and Andrzej convinced me - 169 00:10:56,722 --> 00:10:59,919 In fact, Tadzio Janczar did a fantastic job with the part, 170 00:11:00,026 --> 00:11:01,687 and it was a success, 171 00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:05,490 But this time I tried to convince Andrzej, 172 00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:11,366 and Andrzej agreed that Zbyszek could come for a screen test, 173 00:11:11,871 --> 00:11:16,331 Slowly, gradually, he got me used to the idea 174 00:11:16,442 --> 00:11:18,603 that I didn't have any other choice, 175 00:11:18,711 --> 00:11:26,345 That this was it, and that fate wanted it that way, 176 00:11:26,452 --> 00:11:27,749 So we did some rehearsals, 177 00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:30,822 because Andrzej would only come by when we had something concrete, 178 00:11:30,923 --> 00:11:36,225 There was a scene that was later staged in the bathroom 179 00:11:36,328 --> 00:11:39,764 where Zbyszek is standing and swinging on the door. 180 00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:46,270 And Andrzej was so convinced and liked Zbyszek so much after all, 181 00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:49,603 that we saw I hadn't just found an ally. 182 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:53,076 He had his heart set on Zbyszek playing the part, 183 00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:55,238 and, of course, he made the decision. 184 00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:58,942 Cybulski as Maciek Chelmicki. 185 00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:01,178 Here a problem arose, 186 00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:05,747 What did those young men look like? Who were they? 187 00:12:05,858 --> 00:12:09,350 I knew that very well, because, for one thing, I had been one of them, 188 00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:14,456 and second, I knew how they dressed, 189 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:17,365 Cybulski wanted nothing to do with how they had dressed, 190 00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:22,473 I remember when he categorically refused to put on a costume, 191 00:12:23,442 --> 00:12:30,109 He thought he should wear what he normally wore, 192 00:12:30,382 --> 00:12:34,478 His shoes, his pants, his jacket, 193 00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:37,556 He had seen during the screen test 194 00:12:37,656 --> 00:12:42,491 that you could play that role in glasses and jeans, carrying that kind of sack, 195 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:45,758 He was so convinced by this character, 196 00:12:45,865 --> 00:12:49,266 I have to say that from a distance, 197 00:12:49,368 --> 00:12:52,132 from the perspective of almost 40 years later, 198 00:12:52,238 --> 00:12:54,263 when I watch Ashes and Diamonds, 199 00:12:54,373 --> 00:12:59,470 I think that was the moment when I became a real director, 200 00:12:59,578 --> 00:13:07,952 Namely, I was able to not direct what didn't need to be directed, 201 00:13:08,053 --> 00:13:10,180 I was mature enough... 202 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:16,755 to let others make their own contributions to the film, 203 00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:23,492 Before, I wouldn't have allowed it, I would have told him to change, 204 00:13:23,602 --> 00:13:25,433 I would have taken his glasses off, 205 00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:29,030 because he didn't look like the young men of that time, 206 00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:35,979 So I encouraged him to play it the way he wanted. 207 00:13:36,448 --> 00:13:37,915 I liked it, 208 00:13:38,017 --> 00:13:42,044 and he could feel I accepted him from behind the camera, 209 00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:45,089 that he could do even more, be even bolder, 210 00:13:45,858 --> 00:13:48,156 Nobody in Poland acted like he did, 211 00:13:48,260 --> 00:13:51,457 We understood each other very quickly, 212 00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:56,331 because a few months before we started shooting Ashes and Diamonds, 213 00:13:56,435 --> 00:13:58,266 Cybulski had gone to Paris, 214 00:13:58,370 --> 00:14:02,363 He was working there, and he saw some movies, 215 00:14:02,474 --> 00:14:06,934 I asked if he saw "Rebel Without a Cause", with James Dean, 216 00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:09,345 He said, "Yes, I did, " 217 00:14:09,448 --> 00:14:13,578 I said, "So what more can I say? That's what I like" 218 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:16,447 That film made a great impression on me, 219 00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:21,959 That ambivalence in movement and behavior, 220 00:14:22,061 --> 00:14:28,466 his behavior and screen presence 221 00:14:28,567 --> 00:14:33,368 were so unexpected and unpredictable. 222 00:14:33,472 --> 00:14:35,269 James Dean gave us wings, 223 00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:37,365 Now we knew you could act like that, 224 00:14:37,476 --> 00:14:43,472 that you could approach that level of truth, 225 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:48,013 And Zbyszek realized his potential in this movie, 226 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:51,283 because nobody imposed anything on him, 227 00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:56,384 I didn't fashion him after those young resistance fighters, 228 00:14:56,495 --> 00:15:00,192 If I had dressed him in knee-high boots and short pants, like those young men, 229 00:15:00,299 --> 00:15:02,824 he would have looked funny, 230 00:15:02,935 --> 00:15:05,301 Because he was clumsy and awkward, 231 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:07,797 If I had dressed him in a jacket - 232 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:10,808 and they all wore those homespun jackets back then - 233 00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:16,681 he would have been a funny character, and a historical character, 234 00:15:16,782 --> 00:15:21,014 But thanks to his clothes and the dark glasses he wore, 235 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:26,922 he was a young man of "today", of 1956, not 1945. 236 00:15:27,626 --> 00:15:31,153 And that's why he was immediately accepted by the audience. 237 00:15:31,330 --> 00:15:33,161 As far as other actors were concerned, 238 00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:36,291 there was a problem about who would play the principal female role, 239 00:15:36,568 --> 00:15:44,566 It wasn't easy to find an actress with a strong presence, 240 00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:47,077 who was beautiful 241 00:15:47,179 --> 00:15:49,579 and who could also act, 242 00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:51,877 First, not that many movies were being made, 243 00:15:51,984 --> 00:15:53,884 Television didn't exist, 244 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:59,288 Secondly, acting schools were accepting actors 245 00:15:59,391 --> 00:16:02,883 who were to play factory workers and peasants, 246 00:16:02,995 --> 00:16:07,261 so they were looking for totally different types, 247 00:16:07,366 --> 00:16:09,027 I received instructions from Andrzej 248 00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:11,466 to go look in all the acting schools, 249 00:16:11,570 --> 00:16:15,097 because it needed to be a young, cool girl, 250 00:16:15,207 --> 00:16:19,940 one who would be a personification, let us say, 251 00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:25,577 of a girl from the Home Army who took part in the uprising, 252 00:16:25,684 --> 00:16:29,211 I went, among other places, to the school in Krakow, 253 00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:31,881 where I looked at all the girls, 254 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:35,392 and I asked Ewa Krzyzewska to come for a screen test. 255 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:39,958 Ewa Krzyzewska defnitely looked beautiful on screen. 256 00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:45,227 Maybe she wasn't as spirited as I wou ld have Iiked, 257 00:16:45,704 --> 00:16:49,367 probably because there was so much life in Zbyszek? 258 00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:55,307 But after many years, it turned out she was accepted 259 00:16:55,414 --> 00:16:58,679 a lot more by others than I had accepted her as a director, 260 00:16:58,784 --> 00:17:04,916 that her role had some kind of mystery to it, a melancholy, 261 00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:08,425 that I couldn't see and wanted to root out, 262 00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:11,325 But it turned out to be good, 263 00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:17,562 It created in that character something mysterious, unsaid, 264 00:17:17,669 --> 00:17:19,136 something feminine, 265 00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:23,265 Ewa Krzyzewska received 266 00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:25,605 a Crystal Star A ward for her creation. 267 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,372 Not Cybulski, but her. 268 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,246 And she went to accept that award, 269 00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:35,447 Rene Clair presents her with the a ward and talks with her. 270 00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:37,454 There's a picture of her with Bergman. 271 00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:40,957 She was traveling with the film, and I couldn't get a passport. 272 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:44,689 I was sitting at home, and she was representing our film. 273 00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:48,893 Because we had to send someone to accept this award, 274 00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:51,663 but it couldn't be the director, 275 00:17:51,770 --> 00:17:54,000 They wanted to punish me in a way. 276 00:17:54,740 --> 00:18:03,341 It's worth mentioning what's most typical of Wajda in this flm: 277 00:18:03,449 --> 00:18:06,145 That Wajda, 278 00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:10,881 who also studied to become a painter at the Academy of Fine Arts in Krakow, 279 00:18:10,989 --> 00:18:15,119 was very fond of purely visual effects. 280 00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:19,830 Jurek Wojcik, the cinematographer on the flm, 281 00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:25,063 suddenly began to work differently from Jerzy Lipman. 282 00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:28,833 Ou r ideal was no longer ltal ian neoreal ism, 283 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:33,935 Ou r ideal was American fil m noi r, gangster films, 284 00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:36,139 We liked The Asphalt Jungle, 285 00:18:36,248 --> 00:18:40,651 and movies like Scarface. 286 00:18:40,752 --> 00:18:46,122 Those movies were exciting, and Wojcik was shooting like that, 287 00:18:46,225 --> 00:18:52,095 Hyper-expressive shots, in high contrast, intense. 288 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:57,129 Everything that takes place in the flm was shot in a studio. 289 00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:01,462 The entire hotel was built in a studio and artifcially lit. 290 00:19:01,573 --> 00:19:05,976 At dawn, when a I ig ht is cast over the people danci ng - 291 00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:10,674 It's impossible to fnd that in a natural en vironment. 292 00:19:10,782 --> 00:19:12,579 Impossible. 293 00:19:12,684 --> 00:19:19,146 The most important fact was that working under such perfect conditions - 294 00:19:19,258 --> 00:19:21,749 because everyth i ng was shot i n a stud io - 295 00:19:21,860 --> 00:19:26,160 we cou ld rehearse a scene fi rst, I i ke i n theater, 296 00:19:26,865 --> 00:19:30,528 Often we wou ld rehearse i n the even i ng, because we I ived i n that studio, 297 00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:34,470 It was a hotel and studio rolled into one, 298 00:19:34,573 --> 00:19:39,806 So we would basically spend all day on the movie, 299 00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:43,314 For example, I remember a scene in a church. 300 00:19:43,415 --> 00:19:47,613 There was a scene with Zbyszek and Ewa Krzyzewska, 301 00:19:47,719 --> 00:19:51,314 the scene where this Christ was hanging with his head down. 302 00:19:51,423 --> 00:19:53,254 Everyone remembered that. 303 00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:57,419 It' s j ust one i mage i n the fil m, but it sig n ifies, 304 00:19:57,529 --> 00:19:59,793 The mean i ng is not contai ned i n words, 305 00:19:59,898 --> 00:20:02,560 but i n the i mage, and that's what people remember, 306 00:20:03,101 --> 00:20:07,197 Or, in a hotel courtyard, suddenly 307 00:20:07,306 --> 00:20:13,768 a white horse enters the frame, as a symbol. 308 00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:16,370 There are many such symbols in Wajda's flms. 309 00:20:16,481 --> 00:20:18,278 Some people don't like this, 310 00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:23,184 sayi ng it' s d isassociation and excessive em bel I ish ment, 311 00:20:23,355 --> 00:20:30,158 but it's characteristic of Wajda's style, 312 00:20:30,362 --> 00:20:38,201 And it can, th rough various shots and images devoid of dialogue, 313 00:20:38,303 --> 00:20:40,703 contain certain profound messages, 314 00:20:40,872 --> 00:20:45,275 But our inspiration was an American film 315 00:20:45,377 --> 00:20:48,175 with very expressive images, 316 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,976 There is a beautiful scene in Asphalt Jungle where he's dying, 317 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:53,984 and those horses bend over him. 318 00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:58,182 It's an unforgettable scene that lea ves a lump in your throat. 319 00:20:58,290 --> 00:21:01,987 But in other movies too, this intense expressiveness of American flm - 320 00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,028 that was what we I i ked, 321 00:21:04,129 --> 00:21:09,294 Of course, prior to that we had seen a masterpiece of American cinema, 322 00:21:09,401 --> 00:21:14,703 Citizen Kane, by Orson Welles. 323 00:21:14,806 --> 00:21:17,297 I cal I it ou r gospel, 324 00:21:17,409 --> 00:21:24,212 So we fol lowed i n the d i rection of that i ntensity, 325 00:21:24,316 --> 00:21:30,949 And those hyper-expressive scenes appeared in Ashes and Diamonds: 326 00:21:31,456 --> 00:21:38,328 the scene with the burning glasses, created by Janusz Morgenstern. 327 00:21:38,830 --> 00:21:46,134 And the scene when Maciek Chelmicki fres at Szczuka, the communist. 328 00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:57,513 Normally, when someone gets hit here, he falls on his back. 329 00:21:58,483 --> 00:22:02,112 And that' s what we' re used to, 330 00:22:02,220 --> 00:22:08,056 But here, the thing was to create a certain metaphor. 331 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:11,755 In my view, it's one of the most important scenes in the movie. 332 00:22:11,863 --> 00:22:17,893 He not only falls into Zbyszek's arms, which is very meaningful, 333 00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:21,837 but he's also helpless, and there's the whole drama of that generation, 334 00:22:21,940 --> 00:22:25,603 the drama of the uprising, precisely in that one scene. 335 00:22:25,777 --> 00:22:30,237 And in addition, we added the flares. It was the end of the war. 336 00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:35,548 It was the moment when everything in fact ended. 337 00:22:35,654 --> 00:22:41,524 That's one of the most beautiful scenes thought up by Zbyszek Cybulski. 338 00:22:42,527 --> 00:22:45,257 The one carrying out th is death sentence, 339 00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:51,132 who seems so close to lead i ng a normal I ife, 340 00:22:51,670 --> 00:22:55,299 is attacked by sold iers, 341 00:22:55,674 --> 00:23:02,671 There's a beautiful scene, when he's caught under fire and is hit 342 00:23:02,781 --> 00:23:08,276 against the backdrop of a clothesline, like in some Italian flms. 343 00:23:09,187 --> 00:23:16,286 He hides behind a sheet, holding the sheet against him, 344 00:23:16,395 --> 00:23:21,355 and the blood flowing out of him appears on this sheet. 345 00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:27,796 Andrei Tarkovsky, the famous Soviet director, 346 00:23:27,906 --> 00:23:30,397 who said he owed a lot to Wajda, 347 00:23:30,509 --> 00:23:33,205 d iscerns a sym bol ism i n the colors here, 348 00:23:33,311 --> 00:23:35,609 even though the film is black and white, 349 00:23:35,714 --> 00:23:39,707 The blood is, of course, red, and the sheet is white, 350 00:23:39,818 --> 00:23:42,218 and these are the national colors of Poland, 351 00:23:42,921 --> 00:23:46,823 For me, collaborating with Andrzej Wajda on these three consecutive films - 352 00:23:46,925 --> 00:23:50,986 frst Kanal, then Ashes and Diamonds and Lotna - 353 00:23:52,697 --> 00:23:56,155 was extremely signifcant, impossible to overestimate. 354 00:23:56,268 --> 00:23:58,065 For me it had an impact on : 355 00:23:58,170 --> 00:24:02,004 how a scene was constructed, 356 00:24:02,107 --> 00:24:07,511 the dramatic structure within a single scene, 357 00:24:08,180 --> 00:24:11,843 so that we wouldn't be thinking only in terms of the entire flm. 358 00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:15,181 But to create a certain tension, 359 00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:17,585 certain emotions, a certain expression, 360 00:24:17,856 --> 00:24:23,192 even in a single composition or within a single scene. 361 00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:25,729 S o that th is wou ld become not j ust some d ialog ue, 362 00:24:25,831 --> 00:24:30,825 not a d rama for TV, but ci nema, Above al l, ci nema! 363 00:24:30,936 --> 00:24:31,732 So we made the fil m, 364 00:24:31,837 --> 00:24:34,362 And of course, at the end there was the problem 365 00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:36,668 of what would happen with the film, 366 00:24:36,775 --> 00:24:38,606 But everything turned out all right, 367 00:24:38,710 --> 00:24:40,769 because the political thaw that began in October of 1 956 368 00:24:40,879 --> 00:24:42,779 still had momentum, 369 00:24:42,881 --> 00:24:45,975 There was no indication of what would happen in a few years, 370 00:24:46,084 --> 00:24:48,552 Of course, it wasn't insignifcant 371 00:24:48,653 --> 00:24:51,952 that Jerzy Andrzejewski carried a communist party ID card. 372 00:24:52,924 --> 00:24:57,623 It was also i m portant that h is friends had party I D's as wel l, 373 00:24:57,729 --> 00:25:02,132 As a resu lt, what happened then never happened again, 374 00:25:02,234 --> 00:25:06,637 Namely, the first screening was held for Andrzejewski, as the author, 375 00:25:06,738 --> 00:25:08,535 and for his writer friends, 376 00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:10,540 Nobody had expected, 377 00:25:10,642 --> 00:25:13,270 given this novel by Jerzy Andrzejewski, 378 00:25:13,378 --> 00:25:19,374 seen as ha ving been made to order 379 00:25:19,484 --> 00:25:25,184 for the government, the party, 380 00:25:25,290 --> 00:25:29,124 that a different character would become the main character in the movie. 381 00:25:30,795 --> 00:25:34,287 And I have to ad m it that al I those writers who came 382 00:25:34,399 --> 00:25:37,994 and accom pan ied And rzejewski, who had the same I D's as h i m, 383 00:25:38,103 --> 00:25:41,300 u nanimously accepted the film, 384 00:25:42,107 --> 00:25:47,602 So it was difficult for the party to judge it and stop that process, 385 00:25:47,712 --> 00:25:51,079 So later, it never happened like this again, 386 00:25:51,182 --> 00:25:53,980 As soon as a film was made, one had to turn it over, 387 00:25:55,220 --> 00:26:00,886 Who was watching it, where, who was judging it, we did not know, 388 00:26:00,992 --> 00:26:03,984 When the decision was made to release the flm, 389 00:26:04,095 --> 00:26:09,965 I knew then that that decision could not be taken back, 390 00:26:10,068 --> 00:26:13,162 because it was the authorities' decision, They had sig ned off on it, 391 00:26:13,905 --> 00:26:16,931 I remember a phone call I received from a censor, 392 00:26:17,742 --> 00:26:20,643 the same day before noon, 393 00:26:20,745 --> 00:26:22,736 telling me to cut the last scene out, 394 00:26:22,847 --> 00:26:24,747 the one where he dies on the garbage heap. 395 00:26:24,849 --> 00:26:30,412 He told me to go to the theater and cut it out of the print copy. 396 00:26:31,590 --> 00:26:36,687 But I was al ready so confident and i nsolent 397 00:26:36,795 --> 00:26:38,353 that I knew one th i ng : 398 00:26:38,463 --> 00:26:42,365 If we su rvive th is even i ng, the fil m wi I l be fi ne, 399 00:26:42,467 --> 00:26:45,265 If the movie is released with this scene, 400 00:26:45,370 --> 00:26:50,467 it means the scene will be left in, whether the authorities like it or not, 401 00:26:50,575 --> 00:26:53,567 because they've already signed off on it, 402 00:26:53,678 --> 00:26:56,772 So I didn't go to the theater and didn't cut out the scene, 403 00:26:56,881 --> 00:27:00,476 and that's how the film got to its premiere - 404 00:27:00,585 --> 00:27:04,419 by the way, ironically, in a theater called "The Moscow, " 405 00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:08,490 From then on, there was only one problem left: 406 00:27:08,593 --> 00:27:11,892 whether this film could represent us anywhere, 407 00:27:11,997 --> 00:27:17,663 Of course, people in party circles and political circles 408 00:27:17,769 --> 00:27:20,431 spoke up and said that the film was deeply troublesome, 409 00:27:21,206 --> 00:27:24,073 that it was politically suspect 410 00:27:24,175 --> 00:27:26,040 that someone else had become the main character, 411 00:27:26,144 --> 00:27:28,169 that it should have been Szczuka, 412 00:27:28,279 --> 00:27:30,270 that he had been pushed aside to play a secondary role, 413 00:27:30,382 --> 00:27:35,786 and that the main character was a resistance fighter, 414 00:27:35,887 --> 00:27:38,287 And on top of that, he dies on a garbage heap, 415 00:27:38,390 --> 00:27:41,587 I nterestingly, we were often asked, 416 00:27:41,693 --> 00:27:44,685 " How come your films were released 417 00:27:44,796 --> 00:27:48,129 if they were looked upon unfavorably by the authorities?" 418 00:27:48,833 --> 00:27:53,532 Polish cinema, the Polish School, always won out 419 00:27:53,638 --> 00:27:57,836 whenever it created images instead of dialogue, 420 00:27:57,942 --> 00:28:02,436 Because it's easy to censor words, 421 00:28:02,547 --> 00:28:07,450 Certain words, certain phrases, were forbidden, 422 00:28:07,552 --> 00:28:12,353 The most important thing was not to say anything against the Soviet Union, 423 00:28:12,457 --> 00:28:16,257 So any allusions to that effect were cut right away, 424 00:28:16,361 --> 00:28:19,558 One couldn't say anything against Marxist ideology 425 00:28:19,664 --> 00:28:21,222 because it would be cut right away, 426 00:28:21,332 --> 00:28:27,635 But the last scene in Ashes and Diamonds is ambiguous, 427 00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:32,505 because a young man 428 00:28:32,610 --> 00:28:36,546 who had raised his fist at the people's government 429 00:28:36,915 --> 00:28:39,645 and killed the party secretary, dies. 430 00:28:39,751 --> 00:28:41,218 So where is his place? 431 00:28:41,319 --> 00:28:44,288 On the garbage heap of history. 432 00:28:44,989 --> 00:28:48,481 But the audience who came to see it looked at it in a different way. 433 00:28:48,593 --> 00:28:50,652 The aud ience who came to the theater said, 434 00:28:50,762 --> 00:28:53,754 "What ki nd of authority is th is who m u rders ou r boy, 435 00:28:53,865 --> 00:28:56,425 who ki I Is h i m on a garbage heap?" 436 00:28:57,969 --> 00:29:03,669 And those involved with Ashes and Diamonds 437 00:29:03,775 --> 00:29:05,868 knew they had made a mistake, 438 00:29:05,977 --> 00:29:09,276 that this film shouldn't have been made, 439 00:29:09,380 --> 00:29:15,080 that this ambiguity was benefiting not those who had ordered the film 440 00:29:15,186 --> 00:29:17,780 but those watching it, 441 00:29:18,556 --> 00:29:21,582 Zbyszek Cybulski's performance was so captivating, 442 00:29:21,693 --> 00:29:27,290 He was the embodiment of the youth who had died, 443 00:29:27,398 --> 00:29:31,767 thousands of them, maybe even tens of thousands, or more, 444 00:29:32,904 --> 00:29:35,304 He became their symbol, 445 00:29:35,406 --> 00:29:41,811 Everybody was rooting for him, not for the communist he killed, 446 00:29:41,913 --> 00:29:45,610 So what did the authorities decide to do? 447 00:29:45,717 --> 00:29:49,016 Well, the film has been released, They can't retreat, 448 00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:51,816 The public is seeing it in theaters, 449 00:29:51,923 --> 00:29:55,916 But it mustn't be shown abroad, 450 00:29:56,127 --> 00:29:59,358 After the success of Kanal at Cannes, 451 00:29:59,464 --> 00:30:04,231 the management at Cannes, knowing that this film was being made, 452 00:30:04,569 --> 00:30:07,333 said they were very eager to see it, 453 00:30:07,705 --> 00:30:10,196 But the Communist authorities wouldn't allow it 454 00:30:10,375 --> 00:30:12,366 and didn't send the film to Cannes, 455 00:30:12,477 --> 00:30:16,174 where it could have had a great chance of winning, 456 00:30:16,548 --> 00:30:20,245 However, there was a rather independent-thinking 457 00:30:20,351 --> 00:30:24,788 film commission manager, 458 00:30:25,557 --> 00:30:28,355 He wasn't very influential - because by then, 459 00:30:28,459 --> 00:30:32,555 artists had more power than a manager appointed by the party, 460 00:30:32,664 --> 00:30:37,795 But still, M r, Lewinski took a chance, 461 00:30:37,902 --> 00:30:41,895 saying that the next most important festival was the one in Venice, 462 00:30:42,006 --> 00:30:45,703 the oldest of all, and he took the film to Venice, 463 00:30:46,211 --> 00:30:49,271 It couldn't be shown in competition, 464 00:30:49,380 --> 00:30:51,211 since it wasn't officially entered, 465 00:30:51,316 --> 00:30:53,307 but it was shown out of competition. 466 00:30:53,418 --> 00:30:56,910 Everybody loved it, and it received the only a ward it could, 467 00:30:57,021 --> 00:31:02,049 from FIPRESCI, the a ward of the International Federation of Film Critics, 468 00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:04,025 because the federation wasn't concerned 469 00:31:04,128 --> 00:31:06,187 with whether the fil m was shown i n or out of com petition 470 00:31:06,297 --> 00:31:08,197 and g ranted it an award, 471 00:31:08,299 --> 00:31:11,530 And thanks to that, the film became known around the world, 472 00:31:11,636 --> 00:31:15,436 But M r, Lewinski paid for this by losing his job, 473 00:31:15,540 --> 00:31:19,772 He was seen as disobedient to the party 474 00:31:19,878 --> 00:31:21,607 and as having exceeded his authority, 475 00:31:22,146 --> 00:31:25,707 The famous Polish pianist Artur Rubinstein, 476 00:31:25,817 --> 00:31:29,947 who spent most of his life in the United States, 477 00:31:31,556 --> 00:31:33,683 was not in Venice by accident. 478 00:31:34,225 --> 00:31:36,318 He had learned that a Polish flm was being shown 479 00:31:36,427 --> 00:31:38,327 that nobody knew anyth i ng about, 480 00:31:38,429 --> 00:31:40,397 because it had on ly j ust been released i n Poland, 481 00:31:40,498 --> 00:31:43,490 He went to see th is fil m - it was Ashes and Diamonds - 482 00:31:43,601 --> 00:31:47,469 shown in some small theater with other out-of-competition films, 483 00:31:47,572 --> 00:31:52,271 When he saw it, he recognized that it was an important event, 484 00:31:52,644 --> 00:31:54,942 And because Artur Rubinstein knew everybody, 485 00:31:55,046 --> 00:31:58,743 and was friends with everybody, and everybody loved him, 486 00:31:58,850 --> 00:32:02,547 including myself, 487 00:32:02,654 --> 00:32:05,748 he asked Rene Clair to see the film with him, 488 00:32:05,857 --> 00:32:07,848 So Rene Clair went with him, 489 00:32:07,959 --> 00:32:10,154 and Artur Rubinstein watched it a second time, 490 00:32:10,261 --> 00:32:13,253 And after seeing it, Rene Clair told everybody, 491 00:32:13,364 --> 00:32:15,355 "Listen, this is a fantastic film, 492 00:32:15,466 --> 00:32:19,163 It's being shown out of competition, but it's a big deal, You have to see it, " 493 00:32:19,270 --> 00:32:22,865 So Rene Clair, through his recommendation, 494 00:32:22,974 --> 00:32:26,171 opened the door for Ashes and Diamonds, 495 00:32:26,277 --> 00:32:29,872 So my flm was not only shown in Venice 496 00:32:29,981 --> 00:32:34,884 but also recognized with Da vid Selznik's a ward, 497 00:32:34,986 --> 00:32:38,683 which I still ha ve in my collection to this day. 498 00:32:38,790 --> 00:32:41,691 So that's how the history of Ashes and Diamonds began. 499 00:32:41,893 --> 00:32:44,361 And I ha ve to mention something important. 500 00:32:44,462 --> 00:32:49,661 Back then, the situation for European flms 501 00:32:49,767 --> 00:32:51,462 was totally different. 502 00:32:51,569 --> 00:32:55,266 It wasn't like movies were shown - 503 00:32:55,373 --> 00:33:01,471 American fil m d istri bution had n't yet i m posed itself on the whole world, 504 00:33:01,579 --> 00:33:04,173 It had n't even dom i nated its own theaters yet, 505 00:33:04,282 --> 00:33:07,274 Therefore, Kanal and Ashes and Diamonds 506 00:33:07,385 --> 00:33:09,683 could be shown in theaters in New York. 507 00:33:09,787 --> 00:33:12,278 Not only in New York, but also in L os Angeles. 508 00:33:12,390 --> 00:33:14,483 At the time when I was making Ashes and Diamonds, 509 00:33:14,592 --> 00:33:18,585 this flm still had a chance to be shown to an audience. 510 00:33:18,696 --> 00:33:23,395 So European cinema existed back then, 511 00:33:23,501 --> 00:33:29,599 and anything thought to be interesting was shown in movie theaters 512 00:33:29,707 --> 00:33:32,198 and was accessible to a wide audience. 513 00:33:32,310 --> 00:33:35,336 And then it was gradually released elsewhere, 514 00:33:35,446 --> 00:33:37,539 Iast of of all in the Soviet Union. 515 00:33:37,648 --> 00:33:40,014 Ten years after its premiere, 516 00:33:40,118 --> 00:33:43,849 it was shown in a few theaters in the Soviet Union. 517 00:33:43,955 --> 00:33:46,116 However, it was never shown in Cuba. 518 00:33:46,858 --> 00:33:49,588 I don't recall the premiere. 519 00:33:49,694 --> 00:33:53,027 But I do remember what happened later, 520 00:33:53,297 --> 00:33:56,323 how the myth around Zbyszek Cybulski grew, 521 00:33:56,434 --> 00:33:59,528 how he became a u n iversal hero for al I ti mes, 522 00:33:59,637 --> 00:34:04,506 an idol, and that there was no one I i ke h i m ever agai n, 523 00:34:05,910 --> 00:34:08,470 He was ad m i red by everyone, by multitudes, 524 00:34:08,579 --> 00:34:13,846 M aciek Chelmicki, the main character played by Zbyszek Cybulski, 525 00:34:13,951 --> 00:34:16,385 became not only a key role for Cybulski - 526 00:34:16,487 --> 00:34:20,253 a great actor who, sadly, died before his time - 527 00:34:20,458 --> 00:34:23,894 but also made him an idol for his generation, 528 00:34:23,995 --> 00:34:27,897 similar to James Dean in America, 529 00:34:27,965 --> 00:34:29,762 Zbyszek posed, to some extent, 530 00:34:29,867 --> 00:34:33,598 as a young man who had seen some action during the war, 531 00:34:33,704 --> 00:34:35,604 which was absolutely not true, 532 00:34:36,140 --> 00:34:44,047 He hadn't, and that's why his performance was so captivating, 533 00:34:44,582 --> 00:34:47,517 And I think Cybulski acted so beautifully in this flm 534 00:34:47,618 --> 00:34:51,076 because he imagined those young men in his mind. 535 00:34:51,189 --> 00:34:54,590 He wasn't copying them or imitating them. 536 00:34:54,692 --> 00:34:59,186 Instead, he created the character of a young man, 537 00:34:59,297 --> 00:35:02,698 and the audience felt he brought something more to it. 538 00:35:04,268 --> 00:35:08,034 The secret of ou r war fil ms 539 00:35:08,139 --> 00:35:14,840 was that with those fil ms, we aug mented ou r biog raph ies, 540 00:35:15,646 --> 00:35:18,376 I d id n't partici pate i n the Warsaw Uprising, 541 00:35:18,483 --> 00:35:20,383 but I made Kanal, 542 00:35:20,751 --> 00:35:24,050 I didn't fnd myself in situations like Cybulski 543 00:35:24,155 --> 00:35:27,784 or Maciek Chelmicki in 1 945. 544 00:35:27,892 --> 00:35:29,689 But I made Ashes and Diamonds, 545 00:35:30,561 --> 00:35:34,520 I didn't participate in the kind of operations 546 00:35:34,632 --> 00:35:37,658 depicted in A Generation, 547 00:35:37,869 --> 00:35:42,238 or i n the ki nd of bravado portrayed i n the fil m L otna. 548 00:35:42,340 --> 00:35:48,472 So these fil ms became a substitute for parts of my I ife,