1
00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,404
Sweetheart.
2
00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:14,967
Mmm?
3
00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:17,479
Go over to the window right now
4
00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:21,007
and open it as wide as you can.
5
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:24,044
Please let me sleep.
6
00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:38,839
I think your
mother's here from Mexico,
7
00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:41,679
and she needs to leave.
8
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:44,729
Open the window now.
9
00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:47,491
Why don't you
open it, you lazy...
10
00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:52,971
Somebody help!
11
00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:56,724
Close your mouth!
12
00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:04,647
No way. Can I ride him?
13
00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,484
A deer!
14
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:35,562
Okay.
15
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:41,807
Daddy,
I left the front door open
16
00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:44,159
in case any animals
wanted to come in.
17
00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:45,491
You did, huh?
And one did.
18
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,399
Yeah.
Yeah, one crazy-ass one.
19
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:50,319
Oh, no, you did a nice thing,
sweetheart.
20
00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:52,079
Greg, I'm gonna need a bat!
21
00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:53,525
Daddy, no!
22
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:55,079
No, no, I'm not
going to hit the deer.
23
00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:58,079
I'm just going to massage his
head for a little bit with it.
24
00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:00,208
Okay, come on, come on.
25
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,359
He's right here.
26
00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:10,203
He's eating Bowser's food.
27
00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:11,439
Shh.
28
00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:12,999
Okay, he knows we're here now.
29
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,128
Stay. Stay.
30
00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:18,409
What's he looking at?
31
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:21,959
Move your doll towards me.
32
00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:23,121
And back to you.
33
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,039
Towards me.
34
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,839
Back to you.
35
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:29,126
Three times, fast.
36
00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:33,839
Give me that thing.
37
00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:35,126
Mr. Gigglesworth?
38
00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:36,639
No, don't worry.
Give it to me.
39
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:37,679
Go on. It's okay.
It's okay.
40
00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:38,799
Put it in my hand.
41
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:40,131
Roxanne, take them in there.
42
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,039
Over there.
43
00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:45,169
Hey, dude.
You like this guy?
44
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:46,679
Huh?
45
00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:47,966
You want to play with him?
46
00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:51,843
All right, let's go
play in the other room.
47
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:54,804
Come on. Come on, man.
48
00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:56,479
Slowly walk with me.
49
00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,119
I said slowly.
50
00:03:58,120 --> 00:03:59,121
No.
51
00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:00,999
Ah! Ah!
52
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,047
Get out of the way!
53
00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:05,808
Oh, my God!
54
00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:10,009
Problem solved.
55
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,361
Mr. Gigglesworth!
Daddy, he's killing him!
56
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,364
A new problem begins.
57
00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:18,165
I'm sorry.
58
00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:20,165
Is that your bra, Mrs. Feder?
59
00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:24,279
Easy.
60
00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:25,281
Ew.
61
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:27,639
It is nice.
62
00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:29,319
Thank you, all right.
Cool, yeah.
63
00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:30,560
Yeah, come on.
64
00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:35,962
28?
65
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,408
Yes.
66
00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:43,403
35.
67
00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:46,928
That's right again,
smarty-pants.
68
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:48,359
Hi, Dad.
69
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:49,760
Hey, Bean,
working on the math, huh?
70
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,159
Yep.
71
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:54,243
Mommy said if I get all
my math questions right,
72
00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:56,807
I get to ride my bike to
school with Becky Feder.
73
00:04:56,920 --> 00:05:01,199
Really? Okay, Bean, well,
what's seven plus nine?
74
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:02,690
Seventy-nine.
75
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:05,719
Is he a little boy
or a computer?
76
00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:07,882
'Cause I can't figure it out.
77
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,679
Don't destroy his confidence.
78
00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:12,284
Happy summer, everybody.
79
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:14,481
Whoa.
80
00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:17,559
Okay, you sure you want to go
with those boots, honey?
81
00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:19,359
I know you
bedazzled them yourself.
82
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:21,279
I'm just wondering
if they'll attract
83
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:24,359
too much attention,
you know, from outer space.
84
00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:26,239
It's the last day of school,
85
00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:27,890
and Mom says I'm
free to express myself.
86
00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:31,448
Oh, building the confidence
right here with R2-D2.
87
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:35,639
Confidence. K-O-B-R-Q-V-Y.
88
00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:36,759
Confidence.
89
00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:38,239
Well, we're not gonna have to
pay for college.
90
00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:40,119
That's for sure.
91
00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:42,646
Well, looks like a horse took
a dump in Ronnie's diaper.
92
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:46,079
You're gonna need federal aid
to clean that up.
93
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:49,639
Ronnie, honey, did a doo-doo
grenade go off in your diaper?
94
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:50,971
You gonna change it?
95
00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:52,559
That's not my son,
that's your son.
96
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,519
Ah ha ha! Yesterday
was my diaper day.
97
00:05:55,520 --> 00:06:00,128
Today he is all yours, and
it's gonna get nasty. Whoo!
98
00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:02,319
Go, Ronnie.
99
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,279
- Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.
- Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.
100
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:05,559
He looks like Nicki Minaj
101
00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:08,119
trying to shake her butt
implants back into place.
102
00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:09,326
Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.
103
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:10,799
Come on, Ronnie.
104
00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:12,119
Go, Ronnie.
105
00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:13,799
You got a lot of
appointments today, sweetie?
106
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,439
Nah, just one repair job.
107
00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:16,839
Very special.
108
00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:18,524
All right, I'm going in.
109
00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:22,522
What is...
110
00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:28,964
What is this?
111
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:31,564
A necklace?
112
00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:34,279
Happy 20th anniversary, babe.
113
00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:36,328
Wow, Dad, you remembered.
114
00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:40,288
Oh, yeah.
115
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:43,448
Mom didn't.
116
00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:46,046
Oh! That's cold.
117
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,639
I think I'm gonna
bust out of here.
118
00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,640
So he gets off
the train and nobody's there?
119
00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:52,799
Braden needs to spend
at least one summer with you
120
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:56,319
so he can say he has a dad,
you deadbeat, Higgins.
121
00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:57,679
Well, not to be mean,
122
00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:00,331
but I'm not even
1,000% sure who you are.
123
00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:02,839
I was up from Florida.
124
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:04,119
Right in
the middle of making out,
125
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:07,119
I got a really bad
case of the hiccups.
126
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:09,122
Hiccups McGee?
127
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:13,719
Oh, my God, I have a kid I don't
know about with Hiccups McGee?
128
00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:15,519
And no offense,
but I'm gonna have to ask
129
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:16,799
for a DNA test, you know,
130
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,326
because you just never...
131
00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:23,199
No need.
132
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:24,850
Later, Hiccups.
133
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,325
You're him.
134
00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:41,559
Yeah, without the hat.
135
00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,799
It's actually a good likeness.
136
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:46,201
How you doing, man?
137
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:48,526
I'm your dad.
138
00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:51,406
Nice to see you, Braden.
139
00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:53,404
That's strike one.
140
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:56,044
Good news is, you get...
141
00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:57,969
Unlimited amount of strikes.
142
00:07:58,400 --> 00:07:59,479
Um...
143
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,164
How about I take you to school?
144
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,479
No school.
145
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:05,239
Summertime.
Oh.
146
00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:07,959
Not yet. One more day.
I know, it's a drag.
147
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,599
Normally I'd let you just
blow it off and play hooky,
148
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,959
but I'm volunteering
at the soup kitchen today,
149
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,599
so when I'm done,
150
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,959
I'll come pick you
up and we'll hang out.
151
00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:18,479
I got you this, but...
152
00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:21,759
Obviously you're,
like, 13, so I don't know,
153
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:23,279
but it's actually pretty nice
154
00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,647
and cute, and you should
out the head off it, okay.
155
00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:29,126
Well, let's get going.
156
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:30,805
Yo, yo,
yo, yo, don't forget this.
157
00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:32,439
Is it a gift?
158
00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:34,759
No, it's
the Gigglesworth massacre.
159
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:36,959
I told Becky you could
sew it back together for her.
160
00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:38,239
What?
161
00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:40,279
Martha Stewart
couldn't fix this.
162
00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:41,439
Come on.
163
00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:45,439
Oh, but you're such a good daddy
for picking up all the pieces.
164
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:47,119
That's why I've been thinking,
165
00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:48,759
we moved back
here to your hometown
166
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:51,439
so we could have more quality
time with our family, right?
167
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:52,601
That's right.
168
00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:56,799
How would you
feel about expanding?
169
00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:57,801
Having another kid?
170
00:08:57,920 --> 00:08:58,967
Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
171
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:02,799
Oh, but it's perfect
right now, you know?
172
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:05,279
If I buy one large pizza,
Greg gets two pieces,
173
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:07,999
Keith gets two, Becky gets
one, you get one, I get four.
174
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,240
It's kind of perfect, you know.
175
00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:10,921
I don't want to have
to buy another pie.
176
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,527
Why don't you go on a diet,
fat gordo éste?
177
00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:16,519
Come on, I've had
a job since I'm 16.
178
00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:18,519
It's the first time
I've got a free schedule.
179
00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:20,159
I'm just enjoying the fun.
180
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,731
Don't forget Becky's
ballet recital at 11:00.
181
00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:24,759
I got to go to that?
182
00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:26,967
I mean, I get to
go to that? Great.
183
00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:30,767
I'm saying, that's... I thought it was sold out.
That's great news.
184
00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:34,039
Have the best last day of
school, my gorgeous children!
185
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:35,399
I love you all!
186
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:36,919
Bye, Mom.
Bye, Mom, bye.
187
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:39,048
Yeah, last day of school, Greg.
188
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,159
Last chance to ask
out Nancy Arbuckle.
189
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,319
Nancy Arbuckle... What's that?
You like a girl?
190
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,839
Is that why you've been taking
them long showers?
191
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:47,365
No, I'm conditioning my hair.
192
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:50,119
That's all I do in the shower...
Condition my hair.
193
00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:51,439
That's not what
the deer told me.
194
00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:52,719
That deer's a liar.
195
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:57,083
I heard too much conditioning
can make you go blind.
196
00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:58,599
What? Where'd you hear that?
197
00:09:58,600 --> 00:09:59,681
Higgins.
198
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:00,887
I should kill him.
199
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:02,844
He's too chicken
to ask her out, Dad,
200
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,639
'cause she's
the hottest girl in school,
201
00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:05,799
and Greg is fugly.
202
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,359
So what he's fugly? All the
guys in our family are fugly.
203
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:10,279
That don't stop us from
getting the hot chicks.
204
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:13,319
Look at me and look at your mother.
I mean, it makes no sense.
205
00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:14,999
Only in, like, a Hollywood
movie or something.
206
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,729
Every guy in
school likes her, Dad.
207
00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:18,119
And you'll be the guy
who ends up with her.
208
00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:20,959
You know why? You're gonna
follow my three-step program.
209
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:23,440
Number one,
make the girl smile.
210
00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:25,879
Number two, tell her
she has a nice smile.
211
00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:29,319
Number three, say she has to
go out with you that night.
212
00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:30,287
Why that night?
213
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,799
'Cause it gives her less time to
think about how fugly you are.
214
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,039
'Cause you are fugly.
215
00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:35,799
That's the stupidest
thing I ever heard.
216
00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:39,088
And Keithie's right... I'm too
chicken to even talk to her.
217
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:42,239
Hey, you're a Feder. Feders
ain't afraid of women, buddy.
218
00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:43,959
That's not
the way I'm raising you.
219
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:46,239
Oh, by the way, Dad, did you ask
Mom if I can play football?
220
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:47,639
No, I was scared.
221
00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:49,085
I'm afraid she's
gonna yell at me
222
00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:50,759
in that accent that
no one understands.
223
00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:52,683
Come on, Becky, it's 8:00.
224
00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:54,399
School starts at 8:15.
225
00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:57,563
That means we
only have 25 minutes.
226
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:03,839
Daddy, you promise Mr. Gigglesworth
will be better by bedtime?
227
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,491
Will you stop worrying about him?
He'll be fine. I love you.
228
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,399
Have the best last day, okay?
Okay.
229
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:09,599
Bye, guys.
Bye, Daddy.
230
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:10,647
Love you.
231
00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:11,879
And you read
the street signs, okay?
232
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,041
Don't let Bean.
233
00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:16,239
My God,
riding their bikes to school.
234
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,919
Couldn't do that in L.A.
with the nuts out there.
235
00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:21,730
Yeah, 'cause thank God there's
no crazy people out here.
236
00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:29,480
How you doing, Nick?
237
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:33,119
My wife's leaving
me after three weeks.
238
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:35,559
Three weeks?
That's not bad for you.
239
00:11:35,560 --> 00:11:37,079
What happened?
240
00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:40,448
She found me eating
a banana with my butt.
241
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:42,439
Ah. And she didn't like that?
242
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,522
Yeah,
she got really bummed out,
243
00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:47,689
but, you know, I shouldn't have
done it at her mom's house.
244
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,404
Yeah, you...
245
00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:51,239
You seem like you're a little
extra out of it today.
246
00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:52,366
What's going on?
247
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:53,839
Yeah, I'm a little medicated.
248
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:56,919
I met a very reliable doctor
at a Cypress Hill concert,
249
00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:59,799
and he floated me a couple pills
just to feel better, you know.
250
00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:00,879
But I don't feel better!
251
00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:02,530
You feel worse!
252
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:12,122
Ladies and gentlemen,
meet your new bus driver.
253
00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:15,359
Finally got yourself a job.
254
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,647
Actually I'm filling in for
Drool-io Iglesias back there.
255
00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:24,849
Hey, Deanne, happy anniversary.
256
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:27,162
Oh! Thank you, Lenny.
257
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:30,159
Lenny remembered.
Isn't that sweet?
258
00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:31,366
And I never got him pregnant.
259
00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:32,726
She forgot?
260
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:34,001
Yeah, she forgot.
261
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,319
No.
262
00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,679
I got the biggest get-out-of-jail-free
card in the world.
263
00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:39,239
I want one of those.
264
00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:40,839
Oh, you ain't never get one
like this. Hey, honey,
265
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:43,159
I'm gonna take
a ride to work with Lenny.
266
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:44,810
Don't worry about
forgetting the 20th.
267
00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:46,524
I'm sure you'll
remember the 30th.
268
00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:48,839
I love you.
269
00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:51,571
Yeah, sure you do...
Deep down.
270
00:12:58,040 --> 00:13:00,039
That's not another
necklace in there, is it?
271
00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:06,606
I'm gonna abuse this
get-out-of-jail-free card,
272
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:08,159
I'm telling you right now.
273
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:11,439
I mean, maybe I'll walk on the good
rug without taking off my boots.
274
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:12,441
Oh!
275
00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:15,370
Or have a nice
non-diet soda with my dinner.
276
00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:17,239
Not just one, either,
277
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:18,439
a whole damn pitcher.
278
00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:20,439
Oh, so you're going full gangsta.
Oh, yeah.
279
00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:22,199
But you know what
I'd really like to do?
280
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:23,680
Throw a "first
night of summer" party.
281
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,085
Yeah. You know, something
a little crazy.
282
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:26,645
Well,
it's been many, many years
283
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:28,279
since we've done
something crazy.
284
00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:29,719
Just one problem, though.
285
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,439
My house isn't big enough.
286
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:33,119
But yours is.
287
00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:35,759
Last party I had was senior
year in high school.
288
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:37,759
Yeah, that was, like,
the best night of my life.
289
00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:38,761
We all hooked up with chicks.
290
00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:40,719
Come on, why not do that again?
291
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,007
Because we already
have chicks and kids
292
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:45,479
and high
cholesterol now, so just...
293
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,599
It's time to move on. You want
to come over tonight with Dee,
294
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:48,919
that's fine... I think.
295
00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:50,199
I got to ask my wife first.
296
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,199
Okay, gangsta.
297
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:57,079
Hey, hey, where'd you get
those shoes, Losers "R" Us?
298
00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:58,199
I made them.
299
00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:59,719
You made them?
300
00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,245
In a toilet?
301
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:04,719
That kid's like white Precious.
302
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:07,079
Get lost, Duffy.
303
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,519
Yeah, leave her alone.
304
00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:10,599
Hey, what'd you say, Hollywood?
305
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:11,840
You got something to say to me?
306
00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:13,239
Nothing, nothing, nothing.
307
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:16,479
Attention, Kmart shoppers,
let's find a seat, please.
308
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:17,845
Yes,
you in the camouflage jacket
309
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,639
and Mariah Carey hairdo.
310
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:22,119
Yeah,
just pop a squat, thank you.
311
00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:25,559
You're lucky your dad's here,
but he won't be here all day.
312
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:26,639
Leave me alone.
313
00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:28,759
Beanbag with arms and legs,
314
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:30,119
seriously, take a seat,
315
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,119
or seats,
before someone gets hurt.
316
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,123
You're dead, man.
317
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:47,799
I'm gonna go get
some things done,
318
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:50,719
and then I'm gonna go to my
daughter's ballet recital,
319
00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:52,799
so you're on your
own until lunchtime.
320
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,928
Oh, no worries.
No one will come in anyway.
321
00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:58,842
Right.
322
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:02,479
Does Leonard
ever talk about me?
323
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:03,999
Leonard?
324
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,039
Your husband.
325
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:06,679
Oh, Lenny.
326
00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:10,039
I probably should have told you
this before I started working here,
327
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:13,044
but he used to be my boyfriend.
328
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:15,441
Oh.
329
00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:18,839
When did you guys go out?
330
00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:19,921
Sixth grade.
331
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:21,679
This one time,
332
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:25,526
we split a piece of bubble gum at recess.
333
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:30,679
I brought in a note
334
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:35,199
that he sent me, and I
thought you should see it.
335
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:38,044
I just felt weird
having a secret with you.
336
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:45,319
"Do you like my hair better
in a barrette or a headband?"
337
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,519
That's what I wrote.
338
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,319
"Barrette."
339
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:50,209
And that was his response.
340
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,719
Does it bother you
that I still wear it?
341
00:15:56,720 --> 00:16:00,281
Oh, no, no, no,
I think it's sweet.
342
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:04,842
I think he still
has feelings for me.
343
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:06,919
I'm gonna go work out now.
344
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,559
Do you really think
that a tight, toned body
345
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:11,879
will keep him away
from his Hubba Bubba baby?
346
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:14,963
I hope so. Bye.
347
00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:17,447
You just messed with
the wrong girl, chica!
348
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:23,519
They spray-painted my baby.
349
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:25,239
Gee, and
everything's spelled right.
350
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:26,924
These can't be my students.
351
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:29,441
Oh!
352
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,799
Have a nice day, Rapunzel.
353
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,559
Hey,
guys, can you believe this?
354
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:38,439
Calendar turns to June,
355
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,959
my wonderful students,
they become animals.
356
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:42,639
Maybe they're just
mad that you keep going
357
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:44,199
to the babyGap to
buy your clothes.
358
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,239
Hey, Principal Tardio,
good morning.
359
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:47,969
Right to class, right to class.
360
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:50,811
How was your last ride in
before the summer, Nick?
361
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,439
Remember,
today is only a half a day.
362
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:57,239
And a half a shirt, right?
What?
363
00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:59,159
I said he wants to wave good-bye to you.
Oh, okay.
364
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:00,764
Here he goes.
365
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,599
I'm excited about the summer,
too.
366
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:04,759
Hey, that's my laptop!
That's not waterproof!
367
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:06,091
Monkey boy, monkey boy.
368
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:07,559
Summer!
369
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:08,599
Monkey boy.
370
00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:09,679
Summer!
371
00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:12,411
Summer! Summer!
372
00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:15,609
So, what do you think?
373
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:17,359
Do I take you straight to work?
374
00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:19,647
I got one
appointment I got to get to
375
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:22,119
sometime between 8:00 a.m.
and 4:00 p.m.
376
00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:23,279
Okay.
But she can wait.
377
00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:25,519
Good. And look at this.
378
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,284
He's back at it again.
379
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:28,879
Why isn't he at work?
380
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,406
He's just...
This woman has a grip on him.
381
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:34,000
It's ridiculous.
It's gonna ruin his marriage.
382
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:36,839
Thank you for breakfast, Mommy.
383
00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:39,844
Will you be coming by to watch
Days of Our Lives later?
384
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:43,519
Well, we got to find out which
twin murdered Renaldo, right?
385
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:44,879
We sure do.
386
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:46,399
Mmm-hmm.
387
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,119
- Okay.
- Hey, Mrs. Lamonsoff,
388
00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:49,199
good to see you.
389
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,479
Nice school bus, Lenny.
390
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:53,239
Thank you. Have a great day.
391
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:55,119
Did Mommy make
the boo-boo go away?
392
00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:56,919
Don't tell the wife.
393
00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:58,119
What are you guys doing?
394
00:17:58,120 --> 00:17:59,849
Get in.
395
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:03,039
Oh, hey, Nick.
396
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,199
Nice. Nice.
397
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:05,639
Let's hit it.
398
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:07,483
Watch this.
399
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,159
Oh!
400
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:12,207
Wow.
401
00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:13,519
You got to respect that.
402
00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:14,521
That was awesome.
403
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:18,848
What's Lenny's problem? They're
so cute when they're little.
404
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,199
I know. I miss it.
405
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,771
Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie.
406
00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:28,044
You miss that? Really?
407
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:30,639
Stay. Stay.
408
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:31,999
Don't you growl at me.
409
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,159
Stay, baby, stay.
410
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:34,359
Excuse me.
411
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:36,519
Is your kid gonna be in here
when the instructor comes in?
412
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,039
That's not my kid.
413
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:40,919
That's my lover,
and he's very gentle.
414
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:45,679
Kids don't belong in here.
415
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:47,364
That leash
better not trip me up.
416
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:48,999
Leash isn't gonna trip you up.
417
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:52,083
It's your big-ass, hairy man
feet that are gonna trip you up.
418
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:55,729
She was just
joking around, sir.
419
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,559
Cool it.
You're gonna get us killed.
420
00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:01,086
I'm sorry.
I'm having the worst day.
421
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,407
Welcome to Squat Fitness,
ladies.
422
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:06,719
Apparently your new instructor's
running a bit late.
423
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:08,559
I'm sorry.
It's only five till...
424
00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:11,404
Yeah, so he asked me to lead
you in some warm-up exercises.
425
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,719
So, everybody, up on your feet,
426
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,359
and let's take a deep breath.
427
00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:18,646
Good.
428
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:21,039
Deeper... Really
stretch out those lungs.
429
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:22,279
And now let's shimmy.
430
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:23,719
Shake
the shoulders back and forth.
431
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,449
Shake them.
432
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,319
Very good, very good.
433
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,999
Yeah, oh, yeah.
434
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,446
Now let's do some
jackhammer squats.
435
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:35,079
Right, put your hands in front
of you like this. Just relax.
436
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:36,999
And then squat up
and down but fast.
437
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,639
Faster, faster, there you go.
438
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:39,719
Really fast.
439
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,399
Faster, faster.
440
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,319
Too fast.
Do it a little slower.
441
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:44,679
Now, everybody turn,
442
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,199
face the back of the room,
bend over,
443
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:48,759
and reach for your toes.
444
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:49,879
Why do we have to turn around?
445
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:51,041
If you please.
446
00:19:52,120 --> 00:19:55,727
And bend over as
low as you can go.
447
00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:59,447
Now take the right hand and slap
it against the right cheek.
448
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,365
Relax the wrist and slap
that right butt, slap it.
449
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:05,319
Good, I want to hear that slap.
450
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:07,687
Oh, yes, this is wonderful.
451
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:10,119
Morning, ladies.
452
00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,639
You started without me?
453
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,802
Yes, just like you asked me to.
454
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:16,439
Say it's true even if it isn't.
455
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:18,239
What?
456
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:21,005
Oh, you loved it!
You loved it!
457
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:25,959
Yeah, that's my boy.
458
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:27,041
All right.
459
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:28,440
You're all prostitutes!
460
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,519
Anyway. I'm Kyle,
461
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:34,439
and welcome to the summer
session of Squatrobics 101.
462
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:36,249
I wish they called
it something else,
463
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:38,279
but that's what
they told me to say.
464
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:42,079
Okay,
so, before we start for real,
465
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:43,279
any questions?
466
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:44,566
Yes.
467
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:46,039
Are you married?
468
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:47,199
No.
469
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,439
Nope, I'm... I'm single.
470
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,239
Um...
Yeah.
471
00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:54,639
I forgot. You're so
gorgeous, my head is spinning.
472
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:55,926
I'm sorry. God.
473
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,119
Go ahead.
474
00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:02,205
I have a very important question,
and it's a two-parter.
475
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:03,924
The first part of
the question is,
476
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:05,759
"Did a scientist
make you in a lab?"
477
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:07,519
And the second part
of the question is,
478
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:09,919
"Can I stick my tongue down your
throat, please?"
479
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:13,679
All right, guys, look,
I'm flattered. Really, lam,
480
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:17,605
but most of you are married
and I happen to be gay.
481
00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:20,559
Of course he is.
482
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,279
All of 'em.
That sucks!
483
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:23,559
What a waste!
484
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:24,971
Stay out of my bag, little man.
485
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,159
Why does she have this?
486
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,439
That's not a jock strap,
that's a G-string.
487
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:55,079
Well, well, well,
488
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:56,759
if it isn't Hollywood
489
00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:59,239
and the Squares.
490
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,559
Hey, Malcolm, I didn't
know you worked at Kmart,
491
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:04,399
and apparently the hair on top of
your head didn't know it, either.
492
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:05,639
What?
493
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:06,919
Do me a favor, go like this.
494
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:08,604
I think I got
something in my teeth.
495
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:10,079
What?
You know,
496
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,482
next time, you should use that
Chia Pet stuff on your whole head.
497
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:14,919
What?
498
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:15,959
Why is Higgins buying
499
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:17,371
O.J.'s knife right now?
500
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:18,481
You think you're tough?
501
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:19,679
Hey, Malcolm,
502
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,286
is that the knife the Indians
used to half-scalp you with?
503
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:23,679
I don't even get that.
504
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:25,039
What?
505
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:26,121
Oh, come on, let's cheer him up
506
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:27,599
Benny Hill-style.
Here we go.
507
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:28,799
Come on,
come on, come on, come on...
508
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:30,039
Does that make you feel better?
509
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:33,919
Yo, Crocodile Dumb-dee,
how'd it go with the kid?
510
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:35,759
Good, good. He's in school.
511
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:37,759
Kid's in school for one day?
512
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:40,959
I didn't know what else to do.
He's a thug, Lenny.
513
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,599
He cut the head off a teddy bear.
Imagine what he'll do to me.
514
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:46,159
So you're gonna buy
this to cut his head off?
515
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:48,439
No, I just want him to think
I'll cut his head off
516
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:50,079
so then he won't
cut my head off.
517
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:53,050
You want to scare a relative
without causing permanent injury?
518
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,359
May I suggest this?
519
00:22:56,360 --> 00:22:57,361
Ahhh!
520
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:03,999
Sir?
Sir? Can you get off the bed?
521
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:05,799
It's wake-up time.
522
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:10,479
Yeah, all right, Grandma, I'm up!
Stop yelling at me.
523
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,679
Now, why is... Being mean?
524
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:16,119
I like sleeping over.
It's just you always yell.
525
00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:18,199
You don't have to yell at me.
526
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,079
I love you.
527
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:21,445
I don't understand.
528
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:26,319
Clean-up, aisle nine.
529
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,839
Get out of me!
530
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:31,730
And bring a shovel.
531
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,439
So, my son Bumpty told me
532
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:38,159
he's gonna ask your daughter
out on a date at school today.
533
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:41,039
First of all, my daughter's never
been out on a date before,
534
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:43,999
and I'm sure she's not gonna start
off with some kid named Bumpty.
535
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:47,039
He is the only other
black kid in her grade.
536
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:48,919
Wait, you want her
to date a white guy?
537
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:50,519
Yeah, Farrakhan.
538
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:52,679
I'd rather she date the whitest
white guy in the world
539
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:54,762
than your little
bald-headed boy.
540
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:57,930
All right, but, you know,
don't worry when she says yes,
541
00:23:58,040 --> 00:23:59,759
'cause I already
had the talk with him.
542
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:01,599
What talk?
Dating.
543
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:04,479
I told him how we used to roll
with the ladies in high school.
544
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:07,882
You know, beep-beep.
545
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,879
What?
546
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,399
I should get some
pepper spray for my kid.
547
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:17,919
Some moron on the bus
keeps messing with him,
548
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:19,799
and he refuses to fight back.
549
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:22,239
You know, that reminds me
of someone I know.
550
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:23,759
Who?
You.
551
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:25,759
What are you talking about?
I got in plenty of fights.
552
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:27,599
Remember ninth grade
when Tommy Cavanaugh
553
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:29,119
moved here from Texas?
554
00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:32,679
He nonstop abused you,
and you did nothing about it.
555
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:34,599
Tommy Cavanaugh
was a 'roid freak.
556
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,679
He had back zits
on his back zits.
557
00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:38,359
Plus, he was
joking around with me.
558
00:24:38,360 --> 00:24:41,399
If it was real, I swear to God,
I would've knocked him out.
559
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:42,679
Hey, isn't that
Cavanaugh right there?
560
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,599
Where?
561
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:46,719
Gotcha.
562
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,919
That was really funny,
man, really funny.
563
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:50,684
Hey, you weren't
exactly Captain Courageous
564
00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:52,649
when we were
growing up, now, were you?
565
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,603
Hey, I never backed
out of a fight, though.
566
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,239
Yeah, but did you ever jump
off Suicide 35 at the quarry?
567
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:58,839
Oh, that's right.
568
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:00,999
He always came up with a
lame excuse not to do it.
569
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,599
What are you talking about?
"Oh, I can't."
570
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:04,919
"I'm on my period.
It'll attract sharks."
571
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:10,079
Suicide 35 off the top rock.
35 feet above the water.
572
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:13,323
My mom did that jump when she was
pregnant with me.
573
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:24,524
There's a raft in there?
574
00:25:26,120 --> 00:25:27,121
Whoa!
575
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:33,679
Who did that?
576
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:38,764
All right, little birds.
Find your nests, man.
577
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:42,719
Float down.
There we go, and we're in.
578
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:43,879
All right, guys,
579
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:47,279
normally we don't have exciting
news this late into the term,
580
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:50,719
but we have a new student joining
us today, Braden Higgins.
581
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:52,039
Hey, there's an empty
seat over there, man.
582
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:54,327
Why don't you go cop a squat?
583
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,639
Or go that way, man.
584
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:02,642
Take your own path.
585
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,999
No.
586
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:11,411
I sit here.
587
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:19,562
Is your dad Marcus Higgins?
588
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:22,319
Yeah, I've known him since I was a baby.
He's the funniest.
589
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:24,448
The best. Great, great man.
590
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:28,559
I want to smash his face.
591
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:29,639
Yeah, me, too.
592
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:30,679
Yeah, I hate that guy.
593
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:32,569
Screw him.
594
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:38,839
Yo, Charlotte,
hold up, hold up. Question...
595
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:41,999
How would you like to spend
the first night of summer
596
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,765
with a hardcore up-and-comer?
597
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,119
What does that mean?
598
00:26:47,120 --> 00:26:48,679
I think he's asking you out.
599
00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:49,799
He is?
600
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:51,439
You are?
601
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:53,039
I don't make stuff up.
602
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:55,479
Well, can Donna come?
603
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:57,479
Three's a crowd, McCloud.
604
00:26:57,480 --> 00:26:59,562
No, he didn't.
Yes, he did.
605
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:03,439
It's okay, Charlotte.
It's a date, your first date.
606
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:04,566
Just you two.
607
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:08,199
All right. I mean,
608
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:09,999
I'd have to ask my parents,
609
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,599
but I think that would be okay.
610
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:13,679
Hey, Bumpty.
611
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:16,199
You think just because
it's the last day of school,
612
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:19,359
you can sit and
socialize the entire period?
613
00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:22,519
I don't think about stuff
like that, Lady Shorts.
614
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:23,726
Well, can you think fast?
615
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:25,087
Ow!
616
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:29,079
Who wants to
watch me climb a rope?
617
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:32,402
Yeah!
618
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:33,601
Ugh.
619
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:35,081
Oh, you're the man!
620
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:36,399
Whoo!
621
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:40,199
Yo, he's got to put those
Easter eggs back in the basket.
622
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:41,799
Dang!
623
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:43,848
Kelly, I don't want to hear it!
624
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:45,839
Oh, I can't take it anymore!
625
00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:48,079
I wish I never had you!
626
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:49,839
Oh! Stop it! Stop it!
627
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:51,808
See, that's why I
don't want four kids.
628
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:54,244
Yeah, people with four just
lose their minds. Yeah.
629
00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:55,679
They're yelling,
they're screaming.
630
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:57,839
Sometimes they go to jail
just to get some sleep.
631
00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:00,359
Hold up. Hang on.
632
00:28:00,360 --> 00:28:01,600
I got a burpsnart coming.
Uh-oh.
633
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:05,439
Ho ho!
634
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:06,601
Come on.
635
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:07,959
You got to teach
me how you do that.
636
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:09,519
A burpsnart? It's simple.
Yeah.
637
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:11,239
You just start with a burp,
638
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:13,119
then you sniff for a sneeze,
you get that going,
639
00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:14,399
and that
triggers a fart, always.
640
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:16,719
What's up with this school bus?
641
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,644
Okay. I stole it.
642
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:21,967
What?
Put your hands in the air.
643
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:27,319
♪ And wave them like you
just don't care "ho"
644
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:28,439
♪ Oh!
645
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:29,441
♪ Say "ho"
646
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,119
♪ Oh! ♪
647
00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:33,239
I heard you're having
a party tonight, Lenny.
648
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:35,322
What? I'm not
having a party.
649
00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:36,559
Where did you hear that?
650
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:39,159
He's a cop.
He hears everything.
651
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:40,161
Oh, God.
652
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:42,039
Look, it's Magnum P.U.
653
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:44,160
Look at him getting all serious.
I still can't believe
654
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:47,044
you're a cop after all the
sick stuff you did growing up.
655
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:49,799
The Peter Dante who stole
your parents' snowmobile
656
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:52,719
and sold it to purchase
crack cocaine is dead, Feder.
657
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:54,479
This side of
the law is way better.
658
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:57,079
To serve and protect.
Got to love it.
659
00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:59,399
Hey, McKenzie, I heard you
assaulted somebody in there.
660
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:02,639
I didn't assault anybody. I
just choked out your brother.
661
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:05,879
Yeah, he deserves it.
He's crazy.
662
00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:08,759
We got five minutes
to get to that stupid recital.
663
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:10,919
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Recital?
664
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:12,001
At McDonough Elementary?
665
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:13,239
Yes.
666
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:14,319
Can I come?
667
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:15,321
Why?
668
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:17,679
Trust me.
Everybody's got to go.
669
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:19,479
We got five minutes. We're
never gonna make it there.
670
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:20,679
You'll get there on time,
671
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:24,039
'cause we're gonna give you a
four-alarm presidential police escort.
672
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:25,359
Isn't that against the law?
673
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:26,879
I am the law!
674
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,559
What's happening?
675
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:32,608
Whoo!
676
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:47,688
Oh, my God!
What just happened?
677
00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:58,281
Welcome, parents, to final
performance of school year,
678
00:29:58,400 --> 00:29:59,479
our June-a-licious
679
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:01,767
Dance Spectacular!
680
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:08,085
Now, for this year,
681
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:09,999
we go throwing a few
682
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:11,519
hip-hop moves in there.
683
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:13,522
Like this.
684
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:22,559
Is fun to dance.
685
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:25,040
Let the show begin.
686
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:33,199
So nice of you to invite your
friends and the bus driver
687
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:36,199
and the police force to our
daughter's dance recital.
688
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:40,639
Yeah, huge ballet fans,
all of them.
689
00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:03,479
- Ooh!
- Oh.
690
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:05,119
She's so cute.
691
00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:06,679
So cute.
She's adorable, isn't she?
692
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:08,039
She is adorable.
693
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:09,610
Fantastic stuff.
Unbelievable.
694
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:11,359
Look at her go.
I am.
695
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:13,283
I'm looking at her.
696
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:28,599
I want to arrest her
for disturbing the peace.
697
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:30,602
In my pants.
698
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:42,090
I'm having a wonderful time.
699
00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:48,648
She's got a solo?
700
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:54,600
What?
701
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:06,042
It's fine.
I just wish that you
702
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:08,199
would give me more
than eight hours notice
703
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,399
before you tell me that
we're throwing a party, babe.
704
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:11,839
It's not a party.
Get out of here.
705
00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:13,359
It's a couple people coming by.
Come on.
706
00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:14,799
How'd you like it?
707
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:16,599
You were great, honey.
Hey!
708
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:18,599
Where did you learn
to dance like that?
709
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:20,599
She moves like "Yagger," no?
710
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:22,439
Yes,
she does, she moves like...
711
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:23,999
Mick Yagger?
Is that what you were saying?
712
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:26,319
Hey, butter buns,
you ready to grab some eats?
713
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:28,319
Yes.
714
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:29,999
Cavanaugh.
715
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,399
Lenny Feder, I'll be damned.
716
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:35,719
Honey, this is Tommy Cavanaugh.
717
00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:37,529
He was my old steroid
that I grew up with.
718
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:38,719
This is my...
719
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:40,839
Wife, Roxanne.
720
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:42,559
Why are your
hands shaking, Daddy?
721
00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:43,839
My hands are shaking?
722
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:45,559
Probably because I
723
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:47,879
had too much coffee
this morning, sweetheart.
724
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:49,120
I heard you been running around
725
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:50,519
saying you could
take me in a fight.
726
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:52,759
You... I wouldn't say that.
727
00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:54,639
Yeah, you did,
this morning in Kmart.
728
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:56,399
Kmart? Was I there?
729
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:57,439
I don't think I was there.
730
00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:58,519
You know,
731
00:32:58,520 --> 00:32:59,879
all I can
remember about this guy
732
00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:01,799
is smacking him around
whenever I wanted to,
733
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:03,799
and him not doing
a single thing about it.
734
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:07,239
Yeah, we had a lot of good
times like that growing up.
735
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:10,159
Why is your voice so shaky, Daddy?
Are you crying?
736
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:12,279
You don't stop talking, do you?
737
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:14,199
Honey,
we should be getting going.
738
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:15,399
Sure, baby.
739
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:17,559
I want you to stop making up
lies about kicking my ass
740
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:19,039
or I'm gonna have
to set you straight.
741
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:20,359
Sure, sure, sure.
742
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:22,199
I'll see you around.
743
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:25,010
Becky,
you be having great summer.
744
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:28,559
I was one inch away
745
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:30,919
from knocking that guy out,
and I swear to God.
746
00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:31,999
No, you weren't.
747
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:33,639
This is grown-up talk,
748
00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:35,085
so butt out!
749
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:39,479
That's insane!
What did you say to him?
750
00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:42,239
I said, "Hey, Cavanaugh, you
speak to me like that again"
751
00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:45,279
"in front of my wife and kid, I will
brush your teeth with a brick."
752
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:47,479
No, you didn't.
You just yelled at me.
753
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:49,479
I don't yell at you!
Calm down.
754
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:50,759
No, I'm just saying.
755
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:52,125
You guys were in the bathroom.
756
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,359
Look who's here, everybody.
757
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:57,319
20 VOSS waters, right?
758
00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:59,279
That's how they do it in Hollyweird.
I don't know.
759
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:02,602
We haven't lived there in, what,
10 months now or something?
760
00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:06,199
As a matter of fact, our son
starts work here tonight.
761
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:08,799
I know. I heard you
brown-nosed Mr. Pappas
762
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:11,199
and now Showbiz
Junior's got a job.
763
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:13,799
I used to scoop cones here,
and why shouldn't he?
764
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:15,643
It's a great
first job for a kid.
765
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:19,367
Or lifetime job.
766
00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:21,319
Okay, what are we having?
767
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:22,481
Becky, what do you want, hon?
768
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:25,119
Can I have the soft
chocolate cup, please?
769
00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:27,851
Here's a word you
probably never heard, no.
770
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:29,291
The machine's busted, princess.
771
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:32,604
Aw, bummer, it's broken?
Like all your dreams?
772
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:35,642
You know what, it's easy to fix.
I can help you with that.
773
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:38,159
What do you know about fixing
ice cream machines, Higgins?
774
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:40,439
Uh, I went to DeVry for a year.
775
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:41,487
Oh, that's right.
776
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:42,799
I can fix anything with a plug.
777
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:43,999
Including your hair?
778
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,401
That's not true. I don't even
know how that got started.
779
00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:48,159
That's, like, people are
saying that around town.
780
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:49,359
I'll walk you through it.
781
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:51,679
You just walk up, climb up the
machine, lean over the back.
782
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:53,399
Can't believe I'm
listening to this idiot.
783
00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:54,479
Listen to the man.
784
00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:55,679
You're gonna see
785
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:56,799
two pipes coming into the top.
786
00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:58,519
Yes!
In between them,
787
00:34:58,520 --> 00:34:59,999
there's gonna be
a silver button.
788
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:01,079
Hit it a little bit.
789
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:02,199
Push hard.
790
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:04,009
No. Hit it with your fist.
791
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:05,839
Yeah, just push the button.
792
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:07,519
I got it.
There we go!
793
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:09,010
I think we're
getting somewhere.
794
00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:11,199
Okay, keep going. Yeah, that...
795
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:12,281
Force it. That's it.
796
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:17,679
Hey! Why is Dickie crapping
all over the ice cream stand?
797
00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:18,647
What'd she say?
798
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:19,807
Nothing! Nothing!
799
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:20,967
Go! Just go!
800
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:25,039
Go, Dickie!
801
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:28,039
That's where ice
cream comes from?
802
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:34,400
And so we've reached the end
of another school year.
803
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:37,879
Froot Loop?
804
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:38,959
Ten months
805
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:41,999
of learning, growth
806
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:43,799
and, yes, hopefully,
807
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:45,962
a little bit of fun.
808
00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:50,404
But the journey we began
together, in September,
809
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:53,079
does not end today.
810
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:56,119
For education is a process
811
00:35:56,120 --> 00:36:00,603
that does not begin and end
on some set schedule...
812
00:36:02,240 --> 00:36:05,050
Please let me finish.
Return to your seats.
813
00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:08,399
Damn you!
814
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:09,959
Every year, you do this to me!
815
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:13,679
And this was my favorite shirt
from when I was 12!
816
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:15,479
How you doing, sophomore?
817
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:16,959
Not bad, sophomore.
818
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:17,961
Come here!
819
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:27,599
Hey, you're not a statue.
820
00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:30,119
You're an ass-tue.
821
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:31,849
Doesn't even make any sense.
822
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:33,166
Shut up!
823
00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:37,279
What? What? What?
824
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:40,045
Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!
825
00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:45,759
What's up, man?
826
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:46,841
Your dad picking you up?
827
00:36:47,240 --> 00:36:49,639
Uh, I don't know.
828
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:51,959
I told him it'd be cool if he
stayed late at the soup kitchen,
829
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:53,799
so it's on me.
830
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:56,326
Well, you can come on the bus
with us, if you want.
831
00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:58,408
Nah, how about we
do something fun?
832
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:02,369
How about we do something
we're not supposed to?
833
00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:05,839
"Keep out."
834
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:08,320
That just makes me
want to not keep out.
835
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:11,639
Heard our dads used to come
swimming here, back in the day.
836
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:15,690
They claim to be all squeaky
clean, but I think they were nuts.
837
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:28,999
College kids.
838
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:30,684
We better go.
839
00:37:31,240 --> 00:37:33,402
No go.
840
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:34,851
Stay.
841
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:42,841
Whoo!
842
00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:47,089
He's nuts.
843
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:48,359
Let's go.
844
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:49,519
Hey!
845
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:50,965
Where are you guys going?
846
00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:53,890
Join the party.
847
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:56,363
Here. One and two.
848
00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:00,079
Are you guys freshmen?
849
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:01,879
No. We're seniors.
850
00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:04,519
We just became seniors,
like, 20 minutes ago.
851
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:06,759
Not high school seniors,
college seniors.
852
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:08,399
Wait a minute!
853
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:10,199
I remember you guys.
854
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:12,039
You're Scully.
855
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:14,008
You're Boomer.
856
00:38:14,720 --> 00:38:16,319
Come here.
857
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:17,839
I love you guys so much.
858
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:19,046
I love you, too.
859
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:20,439
Girl, I love you more.
860
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:22,039
I'm gonna go.
861
00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:24,042
Whoo! Body shots!
862
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:26,159
No go.
863
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:27,127
Stay.
864
00:38:27,240 --> 00:38:29,719
Okay, okay. But what
about these beers, man?
865
00:38:29,720 --> 00:38:31,400
If we don't drink them,
they'll be onto us,
866
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:33,001
and I'm not sure I'm
ready for beer yet.
867
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:36,079
Wait, let's just dump them
when no one's looking,
868
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:37,319
then act like we're drunk.
869
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:38,799
Okay. Good idea.
870
00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:40,484
All right, let's go.
871
00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:47,919
Summertime.
872
00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:50,919
You're sure you want to do this, big man?
No shame in backing down.
873
00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:51,959
Really?
Come on!
874
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:53,079
Come on.
875
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:54,839
It's a lifelong shame.
876
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:57,399
You're finally doing
Suicide 35. It's a big day.
877
00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:58,599
What are you scared of, man?
878
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:01,599
You're the "rope from the tree,
triple flip, bird-crush" guy.
879
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:03,999
I'm not scared of this.
In the past, I did it before.
880
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:05,159
But I'll do it right now.
881
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:06,161
Sure. Sure. Go ahead.
882
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:08,328
- Do it. Do it.
- Whoa.
883
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:11,799
But the thing is this,
I just...
884
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:13,439
late about 45 minutes ago.
885
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:14,759
What did you eat?
886
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:16,119
I had chicken chow mein.
887
00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:17,929
Chicken chow mein? When did...
888
00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:19,519
We were with you
the whole time!
889
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:21,359
Yeah. You didn't see it?
They had it at Kmart.
890
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:22,759
They have chicken chow...
Oh, get out of here.
891
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:24,119
It's good there. Yeah.
It's very good.
892
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:25,406
What do I hear right now?
893
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:27,959
Look at this.
894
00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:31,879
Beers on ice.
Hot ladies everywhere.
895
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:34,079
This is how we used to do it.
896
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:35,366
This is howl
still do it, buddy.
897
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:36,839
He does still do it that way.
898
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:38,171
Well, you should stop.
899
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,319
This is Kappa
Eta Sigma property.
900
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:44,039
So you might want to quit
perving on our ladies
901
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:46,119
and get back to your trailer homes.
902
00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:48,479
Okay, easy there, Abercrombie.
903
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:50,079
I think it's...
904
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:52,039
I think we've been around
a little longer than you.
905
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:53,719
Been swimming here
since we were eight years old,
906
00:39:53,720 --> 00:39:55,484
so you can calm
down a little bit.
907
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:57,290
I'm sure it was the bomb!
908
00:39:57,440 --> 00:40:00,519
Cranking your Al Jolson tunes
on your transistor radio.
909
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:02,568
But it's the 21st century now.
910
00:40:02,720 --> 00:40:04,639
And Thicky-Thick
and the Flabby Bunch
911
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:06,679
should never take
their shirts off again.
912
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:07,681
That hurts.
913
00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:08,839
Okay,
I guess I'm Thicky-Thick.
914
00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:10,959
Yeah, well, I don't like being
in the Flabby Bunch, either.
915
00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:13,566
Boom! That just happened.
916
00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:16,519
I haven't been around this many
arrogant white college kids
917
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:18,119
since Eminem played Duke.
918
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:19,639
There it goes. And then...
919
00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:20,879
Boom!
920
00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:22,519
That just happened.
How was that?
921
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:25,251
At least we got into college,
skinny Danny Glover.
922
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:34,080
Long handjob.
That's Rock, Paper, Scissors.
923
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:38,719
I think it's over.
924
00:40:38,720 --> 00:40:40,359
Hey, hey, hey!
What, what, what?
925
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:41,566
What?
926
00:40:42,880 --> 00:40:44,399
And a little extra right there.
927
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:45,961
Hey, fellows,
that was a good handshake.
928
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:47,519
We got a good one, too.
It goes like this.
929
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:49,199
Okay, here we go.
Oh, how you doing, sir?
930
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:51,079
Nice to see you.
Very good, sir.
931
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:52,599
Beautiful day.
Yeah, at least we're not stuck
932
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:56,239
in some crap town like this, hanging
up drywall for the rest of our lives.
933
00:40:56,240 --> 00:40:57,919
Bay-oom!
934
00:40:57,920 --> 00:40:59,319
Hanging drywall?
First of all,
935
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:00,799
I'll have you know
that I own pretty much
936
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:02,879
the greatest auto body shop
in town, all right?
937
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:04,799
This guy works for
the cable company.
938
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:06,079
Free cable for life.
939
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:07,279
What?
940
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:08,759
Over here, you know Higgins?
941
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:11,161
That's right, he works part-time
down at the go-kart track.
942
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:13,601
Oh, so he was highballing
you with the drywall.
943
00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:16,850
Boom!
944
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:20,010
This just got real.
945
00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:21,201
Real stupid? What happened?
946
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:22,401
Something's real.
947
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:31,167
Yeah...
948
00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:32,399
Dougie, Dougie...
949
00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:34,919
Are you guys as wasted as us?
950
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:37,810
Hells, yeah!
All the time!
951
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:43,359
Yo, we're gonna let you guys continue
your Klan meeting in a minute.
952
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:45,840
He's just gonna jump off of
here, and then we'll leave.
953
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:49,439
I can't permit that.
954
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:51,199
I can't permit it!
955
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:53,159
Can't permit it.
956
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:56,084
You guys have ruined
our celebration by being here.
957
00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:58,599
Look at my hands, huh?
958
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:00,039
They're shaking, I'm so mad.
959
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:01,644
Yeah,
look, my brother's shaking.
960
00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:05,439
Wha... Wha...
Whoa, whoa.
961
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:07,359
That was a cool move.
Now, listen to me.
962
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:09,279
I'm gonna kick this kid's ass.
963
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:11,719
But I need, like, 11 to 15
minutes to stretch out, okay?
964
00:42:11,720 --> 00:42:12,959
I got to stretch.
It's overlooked.
965
00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:14,559
No, I understand.
966
00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:16,279
I can't fight these kids.
I'm skinny Danny Glover.
967
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:18,123
Guys, this guy's doing 11 flips
968
00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:20,123
behind you for
some unknown reason.
969
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:25,039
We got kids,
we can't afford to do this.
970
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:26,799
Buddy, dude, you don't have
to do that last flip.
971
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:28,999
Don't, like, get hurt.
972
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:30,279
We'll come back another time.
973
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:31,639
You will come back never!
974
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:33,799
This is Kappa Eta Sigma property!
975
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:36,159
Dude,
why are you acting so crazy?
976
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:39,050
Did Betty White
just call you crazy?
977
00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:40,359
Did he just call you Betty White?
Betty White?
978
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:41,439
That's pretty funny.
979
00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:42,805
We've got a situation!
980
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:55,599
You know what?
Hey, guys? Guys?
981
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:57,319
- Hey, what's up, guys?
- Let's get out of here.
982
00:42:57,320 --> 00:42:58,519
Listen,
it's nice to meet everybody.
983
00:42:58,520 --> 00:42:59,567
We're gonna take off,
but let's do this again.
984
00:42:59,720 --> 00:43:00,839
Take care, guys.
985
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:02,239
Enjoy yourself.
Not that way.
986
00:43:02,240 --> 00:43:04,561
Oh, is there an elevator?
987
00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:07,969
That way.
988
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:12,531
Oh, come on, are you serious?
You gonna make us jump?
989
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:15,002
Naked.
990
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:17,999
Asshole.
991
00:43:21,720 --> 00:43:22,721
Oh!
992
00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:27,811
You guys are losers.
993
00:43:31,160 --> 00:43:32,400
Oh!
994
00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:38,206
Don't worry, it gets bigger.
995
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:39,481
Ahh!
996
00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:40,881
Whoa!
997
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:43,199
Oh!
998
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:45,168
That poor old lady!
999
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:47,439
Ahh! Ah ha ha!
1000
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:48,999
I'm paralyzed!
1001
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:51,359
I'm in so much pain!
1002
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:53,249
Mama!
1003
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:58,399
No!
1004
00:43:58,400 --> 00:43:59,401
Oh!
1005
00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:06,249
I was inside you!
1006
00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:16,639
I can't believe nobody's even
scared of a black guy anymore!
1007
00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:18,839
Damn you, Obama!
1008
00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:21,959
What the hell just happened?
1009
00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:24,566
I saw my dad's dick.
1010
00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:45,799
Well, the good news is Lamonsoff
finally did the jump for real.
1011
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:48,007
And the bad news is
he landed on my face.
1012
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:50,239
What are you,
made of rocks, dude?
1013
00:44:50,240 --> 00:44:52,759
Check this out, feel this.
I'm not kidding you.
1014
00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:54,119
Right up here.
1015
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:55,159
I think even higher.
1016
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:56,239
Feel that.
And?
1017
00:44:56,240 --> 00:44:57,479
Put your hand right there.
1018
00:44:57,480 --> 00:44:59,279
Feel the other one.
Those are my balls.
1019
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:01,199
I'm not kidding you,
they went way up in there.
1020
00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:02,439
You're getting me turned on.
1021
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:04,599
Are you kidding me?
1022
00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:05,719
What?
1023
00:45:05,720 --> 00:45:07,119
They slashed our tires!
1024
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:08,531
These kids won't
stop abusing us!
1025
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:09,766
Damn you!
1026
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:13,039
This wasn't college kids.
1027
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:15,646
It was my son, Satan.
1028
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:18,199
And why is this kid so angry?
1029
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:21,170
His mom hiccupped a lot, but
she was happy! And hot.
1030
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:23,479
If she's so hot,
1031
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:26,239
why don't you make her
your late-night booty call?
1032
00:45:26,240 --> 00:45:28,766
Oh, Beefcakes!
Come on, baby!
1033
00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:34,879
You've been sneaking around with Fabio?
1034
00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:37,399
It's not funny, dude! She's gonna
kick the crap out of me later!
1035
00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:38,599
Wow.
1036
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:40,159
Wow.
1037
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:41,360
A little
five-hour Energy, huh?
1038
00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:42,481
Yeah.
1039
00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:45,959
500-hour Energy?
1040
00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:47,479
I drink it for the taste, okay?
1041
00:45:47,480 --> 00:45:50,563
Oh, my God, you gonna jog
to Florida after this?
1042
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:54,359
Oh!
1043
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:55,361
No!
1044
00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:56,759
A bonus!
1045
00:45:56,760 --> 00:45:58,599
Come on,
just cram yourself in there.
1046
00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:01,679
My body, it's just too big for this thing.
I can't fit.
1047
00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:03,999
Higgins, dummy, hop in
this thing for a minute.
1048
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:05,081
For what?
1049
00:46:05,240 --> 00:46:06,359
Just get in the tire.
1050
00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:08,359
No way! In there?
Five yards we'll roll you.
1051
00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:10,799
We've done it. I would do
it if I could get in there.
1052
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:12,519
This is peer pressure,
you're bullying.
1053
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:15,159
And I promise you
I'll stop you and I love you.
1054
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:17,319
Don't let him do it.
He's jacked up on juice.
1055
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:19,439
And a-one, and a-two...
1056
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:20,519
Mommy's got you.
1057
00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:21,599
...and a-three!
1058
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:24,359
Okay, five feet.
Grab me. Y'ello.
1059
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:26,039
Lenny!
Hey, Keithie.
1060
00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:28,319
Meet me at the football field,
but don't tell your mother.
1061
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:30,039
Why am I still rolling?
1062
00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:31,719
Lenny!
Oops.
1063
00:46:31,720 --> 00:46:33,439
Help!
1064
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:35,159
Guys. get me!
1065
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:36,241
Hang in there!
1066
00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:37,559
I'm going downhill!
1067
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:38,719
Lenny! No! No!
1068
00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:42,971
When will it end?
1069
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:50,285
Oh, yeah.
Summer is here, man!
1070
00:46:56,040 --> 00:46:59,203
Help! Stop! No!
1071
00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:02,239
Tire on the loose!
1072
00:47:02,240 --> 00:47:03,730
Fluzoo, shotgun, now!
1073
00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:07,919
Someone!
1074
00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:09,570
Higgins is in the tire!
1075
00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:11,079
Of course.
1076
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:12,759
- Help!
- Get there!
1077
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:14,319
Help!
1078
00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:15,399
Liar!
1079
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:16,401
No, no, baby!
1080
00:47:17,560 --> 00:47:20,848
No! No! Someone!
1081
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:26,041
Ahh! Ahh!
1082
00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:33,162
Shaw's over, tire.
1083
00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:34,961
Ow!
1084
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:47,399
I'm next.
1085
00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:49,119
I got next!
No, I'm next!
1086
00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:53,239
It's my tire! My turn!
1087
00:47:53,240 --> 00:47:55,079
Hey!
1088
00:47:55,080 --> 00:47:56,809
What happened?
1089
00:47:57,240 --> 00:47:58,526
I got a phone call.
1090
00:47:58,720 --> 00:47:59,721
Oh.
1091
00:47:59,960 --> 00:48:02,599
Okay. I forgive you.
1092
00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:04,879
Was it
long-distance or something?
1093
00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:06,919
Don't want to kick a guy
while he's down, Higgins,
1094
00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:09,127
but we caught your son
with a can of spray paint
1095
00:48:09,240 --> 00:48:11,279
looking like he
was up to no good.
1096
00:48:11,280 --> 00:48:13,959
You lied about the soup.
1097
00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:16,406
You lied about the soup!
1098
00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:35,369
We are gonna find
those fartheads,
1099
00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:38,127
and we are gonna kill them.
1100
00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:39,999
Kill!
1101
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:43,641
Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
1102
00:48:47,480 --> 00:48:50,639
No, guys! Not each other!
1103
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:53,450
We're not killing each other!
1104
00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:01,759
Keithie, Keithie, Keithie!
Whoo! Uh-huh!
1105
00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:05,199
It's a practice, Donna. You
don't have to go full speed.
1106
00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:06,519
Sorry, Mr. Feder.
1107
00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:07,719
It's fine!
1108
00:49:07,720 --> 00:49:10,200
Hey, look at these
giant mooses out there.
1109
00:49:13,720 --> 00:49:15,879
You don't want to get
in the middle of all that.
1110
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:17,644
Plus, the kicker,
honestly, is like,
1111
00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:19,444
one of the most
important guys on the team
1112
00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:20,971
and you don't have
to worry about getting
1113
00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:22,559
your head bashed in every play.
1114
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:24,559
I get it, Dad.
I'm a wimp.
1115
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:25,719
You're not a wimp.
1116
00:49:25,720 --> 00:49:26,999
It's just common sense.
1117
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:28,843
Avoid big idiots
trying to hurt you.
1118
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:30,805
I was trying to
avoid a big idiot
1119
00:49:30,920 --> 00:49:32,399
trying to hurt me on
the bus this morning,
1120
00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:33,799
but he wouldn't leave me alone.
1121
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:35,799
Well, sometimes they
won't let you avoid them,
1122
00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:38,399
and you just... You can't back
down in those situations.
1123
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:40,439
I'm telling you,
I've backed down a few times,
1124
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:41,639
it's not a good feeling.
1125
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:43,599
All right, look, let's just
kick a few field goals.
1126
00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:45,359
It's like soccer,
which you're great at.
1127
00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:48,204
All you got to do is put your
foot right through the ball.
1128
00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:52,439
Whoo!
What?
1129
00:49:52,440 --> 00:49:53,646
Touchdown! Yeah!
1130
00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:55,439
Yeah!
1131
00:49:55,440 --> 00:49:57,522
That's ridiculous!
Your first try?
1132
00:49:57,640 --> 00:49:59,679
All right,
we're backing up, boy.
1133
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:02,319
That was totally awesome, Keithie!
That was so cool!
1134
00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:04,607
That was just, like, awesome!
1135
00:50:04,760 --> 00:50:06,639
Okay, drive through the ball.
1136
00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:08,210
Drive through the ball.
1137
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:11,327
It's up!
1138
00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:14,439
Whoo! Yeah!
Whoo! Go, Keithie!
1139
00:50:14,440 --> 00:50:17,479
Yes! What did you
eat this morning?
1140
00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:21,199
All right, this is starting to
get into, like, college level.
1141
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:22,719
From the 30!
1142
00:50:22,720 --> 00:50:24,404
Who the hell is this kid?
1143
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:31,959
Oh, my God!
1144
00:50:31,960 --> 00:50:33,599
♪ Stop! Keithie time!
1145
00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:35,799
♪ Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! ♪
1146
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:39,119
I'm starting to think
she has a little crush on you.
1147
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:40,279
Really?
1148
00:50:40,280 --> 00:50:42,919
Either that or she got bit
by a poisonous spider.
1149
00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:45,002
Keithie! Whoo!
1150
00:50:46,200 --> 00:50:47,645
All right, let's see how you do
1151
00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:49,239
in a real game situation,
though.
1152
00:50:49,240 --> 00:50:51,759
Okay? Let's
pretend I'm a linebacker,
1153
00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:53,479
and I'm gonna come at you
and try and block it.
1154
00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:54,559
Okay.
1155
00:50:54,560 --> 00:50:55,891
Set!
1156
00:50:57,080 --> 00:50:59,079
Hike! I'm a crazy linebacker!
1157
00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:00,047
Give me that football!
1158
00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:04,399
Oh, my leg!
1159
00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:05,719
Keithie!
1160
00:51:05,720 --> 00:51:07,799
Don't tell your mother!
1161
00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:10,804
All right, that kid's dead.
Back to work.
1162
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,519
Now, you remember how to do
a five-point turn, right?
1163
00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:15,679
Yeah.
1164
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:17,639
Parallel park?
Yeah, yeah.
1165
00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:19,759
Hey, don't "yeah,
yeah" me, dumb-ass.
1166
00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:21,319
You're precious cargo.
1167
00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:23,200
Now, if you mess around
and get yourself killed,
1168
00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:24,319
I'm gonna have to kill you.
1169
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:26,004
Look, Dad, I'm ready
for this, all right?
1170
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:29,450
You're late.
1171
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:31,999
Hello, McKenzie.
1172
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:33,684
Hey, Wiley, how you feeling?
1173
00:51:36,160 --> 00:51:37,999
Oh, just two years of this.
1174
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:41,083
And I still only have
40% feeling in my body.
1175
00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:43,199
Otherwise, I'm fine.
1176
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:44,999
No, Rihanna's fine.
1177
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:46,525
You just teach driver's ed.
1178
00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:49,199
Get her done, son!
1179
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:51,479
And remember
everything we talked about!
1180
00:51:51,480 --> 00:51:52,799
Defensive driving!
1181
00:51:52,800 --> 00:51:53,999
Stop at all yellows!
1182
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:55,079
Obey the laws!
1183
00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:57,361
You moron!
1184
00:51:57,520 --> 00:51:58,646
Look out!
1185
00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:01,684
Be safe!
Don't do what I just did!
1186
00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:04,719
Hey, officers,
you guys want to stick around
1187
00:52:04,720 --> 00:52:06,479
and have a drink with me,
hang out a little bit?
1188
00:52:06,480 --> 00:52:07,680
You're afraid of us leaving you
1189
00:52:07,720 --> 00:52:08,839
alone with your son,
aren't you?
1190
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:10,959
My son... Are you
kidding me? I don't care...
1191
00:52:10,960 --> 00:52:11,961
Boo!
1192
00:52:12,080 --> 00:52:13,081
He's got a knife!
1193
00:52:13,720 --> 00:52:16,919
That sounds dangerous.
How far was the drop?
1194
00:52:16,920 --> 00:52:18,879
Just 35 feet.
1195
00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:21,439
Who do you think
you are, Tarzan?
1196
00:52:21,440 --> 00:52:23,399
It's no big deal.
Honey?
1197
00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:25,239
Hi, Sally.
1198
00:52:25,240 --> 00:52:27,004
Hi, honey.
I... No, I just came to see
1199
00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:28,279
if Mommy was alive.
1200
00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:29,879
And looking now,
1201
00:52:29,880 --> 00:52:31,239
she's breathing, she's good.
1202
00:52:31,240 --> 00:52:32,844
Hi. What are you doing here?
1203
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:35,079
I was bringing your mother
a new fan for the summer.
1204
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:36,399
That's good.
You said you couldn't
1205
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:37,959
get coffee with
me because you had
1206
00:52:37,960 --> 00:52:40,919
a 3:30 appointment
with a Mr. Renaldo.
1207
00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:42,239
Hello, ladies!
1208
00:52:42,240 --> 00:52:43,919
You!
1209
00:52:43,920 --> 00:52:44,999
Can't be!
1210
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,319
We killed you. Last week.
1211
00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:50,839
You actually think
two amateurish nitwits
1212
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:54,083
could kill The Great Renaldo?
1213
00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:55,839
I told you.
1214
00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:58,923
You did. You called it.
1215
00:53:03,320 --> 00:53:06,005
So the leg's not
really broken, huh?
1216
00:53:06,320 --> 00:53:08,639
No, it is broken, right here.
1217
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:11,399
Just a hairline fracture,
though.
1218
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:13,239
No, it's a clean break.
1219
00:53:13,240 --> 00:53:14,759
Slight, though.
1220
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:17,399
Slight? No. It's broken.
1221
00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:20,159
Broken-broken or just broken?
1222
00:53:20,160 --> 00:53:22,799
It's a broken leg.
1223
00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:26,479
What was once one bone
is now two half-bones.
1224
00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:27,679
Right.
1225
00:53:27,680 --> 00:53:32,288
Is there anything you can do
about my wife staring at me?
1226
00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:36,799
No, I'm not a psychiatrist.
1227
00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:38,439
So you're saying
my wife is crazy?
1228
00:53:38,440 --> 00:53:40,079
No, no. I was joking.
1229
00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:41,959
Like you were when you said
his leg is broken.
1230
00:53:41,960 --> 00:53:43,679
Look, your son
1231
00:53:43,680 --> 00:53:46,999
is going to be wearing
that cast the entire summer.
1232
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:50,959
If you don't mind,
I haven't slept in 68 hours.
1233
00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:53,319
So you're a little
loopy from lack of sleep,
1234
00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:54,890
and that really
isn't my son's bone.
1235
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:56,999
That's a piece of
celery you snapped.
1236
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:58,039
Lenny!
Yes?
1237
00:53:58,040 --> 00:53:59,639
The leg is broken!
1238
00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:04,999
You can't undo this,
1239
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:08,319
and you lied to me,
so you're gonna pay for it.
1240
00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:12,999
Doctor, wouldn't it be nice
if there was a cure for anger?
1241
00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:14,159
There is.
1242
00:54:14,160 --> 00:54:15,844
It's called Jack Daniel's.
1243
00:54:16,880 --> 00:54:18,519
Another one of your jokes, huh?
1244
00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:20,010
I Wish.
1245
00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:24,921
Okay, the light is red
now, so just remain stopped.
1246
00:54:28,520 --> 00:54:30,045
Scully, is that you?
1247
00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:33,166
Scully!
1248
00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:36,679
Hey, what's up, fellas?
1249
00:54:36,680 --> 00:54:39,199
Are you taking your
driver's test drunk?
1250
00:54:39,200 --> 00:54:41,359
Yeah, I'm MC Hammered!
1251
00:54:41,360 --> 00:54:43,079
Oh! You're a madman!
Psychopath, man!
1252
00:54:43,080 --> 00:54:44,159
Hey, Scully, Scully.
1253
00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:46,479
Have you seen those old townies
from the quarry today?
1254
00:54:46,480 --> 00:54:49,559
No, I can't say I did. Why?
1255
00:54:49,560 --> 00:54:51,719
They
disrespected our frat house!
1256
00:54:51,720 --> 00:54:53,319
Man, they disrespected
the crap out of it!
1257
00:54:53,320 --> 00:54:54,890
Oh, no, can't have that.
1258
00:54:57,160 --> 00:54:58,519
Brewski time, dude!
1259
00:54:58,520 --> 00:55:00,039
It's not for you, Scully.
1260
00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:01,879
It's for that freak
in the hat next to you.
1261
00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:03,079
Looks like he needs it.
1262
00:55:03,080 --> 00:55:04,159
Boom!
Yeah!
1263
00:55:04,160 --> 00:55:05,559
That just happened!
1264
00:55:05,560 --> 00:55:07,688
Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
1265
00:55:09,800 --> 00:55:13,486
Taking your driver's
test while intoxicated?
1266
00:55:15,080 --> 00:55:17,447
Minus five points.
1267
00:55:26,040 --> 00:55:27,644
This is ridiculous!
1268
00:55:27,760 --> 00:55:31,439
I've wasted an entire day waiting
for this idiot to show up.
1269
00:55:31,440 --> 00:55:34,199
Did you tell him your son-in-law
works for the cable company?
1270
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:38,079
A fat lot of good being related
to that bozo would do me.
1271
00:55:38,080 --> 00:55:41,119
I'm gonna run to the bathroom.
1272
00:55:41,120 --> 00:55:42,690
Love to the children.
1273
00:55:49,080 --> 00:55:50,525
Yes. Yes.
1274
00:55:57,120 --> 00:55:59,439
Damn it, I just sat down.
1275
00:55:59,440 --> 00:56:01,599
I'll be right out there!
1276
00:56:01,600 --> 00:56:02,759
Hang on!
1277
00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:04,439
I'm coming as quick as I can.
1278
00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:06,283
I got bunions, damn it!
1279
00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:16,039
No! No!
1280
00:56:16,040 --> 00:56:18,122
You burn in hell!
1281
00:56:18,240 --> 00:56:20,119
You cable-installing mother...
1282
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:21,485
Oh, damn it!
1283
00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:31,639
Look, man,
1284
00:56:31,640 --> 00:56:33,959
I know deadbeat dads
always have lame excuses
1285
00:56:33,960 --> 00:56:36,239
why they don't see their kids,
1286
00:56:36,240 --> 00:56:39,759
but "I didn't know you existed
till about a week ago"
1287
00:56:39,760 --> 00:56:41,879
is actually a fantastic excuse.
1288
00:56:41,880 --> 00:56:43,479
So can you cut me some slack?
1289
00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:45,319
Her name's not Hiccups McGee.
1290
00:56:45,320 --> 00:56:47,119
Yeah, I know that.
1291
00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:48,724
So why do you call her that?
1292
00:56:48,840 --> 00:56:51,439
No, that's just...
It's stupid.
1293
00:56:51,440 --> 00:56:55,319
It's just kind of
a nickname I give people that,
1294
00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:58,839
you know, have a distinct
trait or physical feature.
1295
00:56:58,840 --> 00:57:02,399
Like, if someone had big lips,
you'd call them Lippy McGee.
1296
00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:04,999
And if they sneezed a lot,
you'd call them Sneezy McGee.
1297
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:07,999
Oh, so you'd be Ugly McGee.
1298
00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:10,162
I'd be Ugly McGee.
Exactly.
1299
00:57:10,280 --> 00:57:11,639
Shorty McGee.
1300
00:57:11,640 --> 00:57:12,679
Shorty McGee, sure.
1301
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:13,999
Viagra McGee.
1302
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:15,440
Right, right.
You get it, you get it.
1303
00:57:15,560 --> 00:57:17,519
Listen, man,
1304
00:57:17,520 --> 00:57:20,091
I'm willing to give
this a try if you are.
1305
00:57:21,720 --> 00:57:24,451
You know what they say... Yesterday's
history, tomorrow's a mystery.
1306
00:57:26,280 --> 00:57:28,681
Maybe we go inside
and search the Internet
1307
00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:31,247
for funny videos of
squirrels waterskiing.
1308
00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:42,927
Okay, we're getting somewhere.
1309
00:57:43,400 --> 00:57:45,359
I'm sorry I lied
about the appointment.
1310
00:57:45,360 --> 00:57:47,479
The lying's not the worst part.
1311
00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:49,639
You hid from me at your
mother's house, Eric.
1312
00:57:49,640 --> 00:57:51,039
Who does that?
1313
00:57:51,040 --> 00:57:52,565
Look, she's nice to me.
1314
00:57:52,880 --> 00:57:55,119
You know,
she always takes my side,
1315
00:57:55,120 --> 00:57:58,044
worries if I'm eating enough
and taking my vitamins.
1316
00:57:58,160 --> 00:58:00,208
I do all that stuff, too, Eric.
1317
00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:02,519
Okay, I don't.
1318
00:58:02,520 --> 00:58:03,879
You're right.
1319
00:58:03,880 --> 00:58:05,559
You know, there's only
so many hours in a day,
1320
00:58:05,560 --> 00:58:08,239
and I'm always
running around the kids,
1321
00:58:08,240 --> 00:58:10,288
and I guess I
leave you out a lot,
1322
00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:12,719
and I'm really gonna try harder
to make you feel special,
1323
00:58:12,720 --> 00:58:15,559
'cause you always make me feel
like the only girl in the world.
1324
00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:17,959
I feel bad.
1325
00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:19,279
Don't feel bad.
1326
00:58:19,280 --> 00:58:21,799
No, I do,
because today at the recital,
1327
00:58:21,800 --> 00:58:26,124
I couldn't stop
looking at Becky's teacher.
1328
00:58:26,240 --> 00:58:27,969
I don't mind you looking.
1329
00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:30,122
I really don't.
Everybody looks.
1330
00:58:30,440 --> 00:58:32,639
I was looking today.
1331
00:58:32,640 --> 00:58:34,599
And I'm totally fine with that.
1332
00:58:34,600 --> 00:58:37,119
As long as he was gay,
dead or a cartoon.
1333
00:58:37,120 --> 00:58:38,610
Gay.
Okay.
1334
00:58:38,840 --> 00:58:41,047
But no matter who
or what we look at,
1335
00:58:41,200 --> 00:58:43,407
we'll always come back
to each other, right?
1336
00:58:45,440 --> 00:58:46,851
Car wash!
Car wash! Whoo!
1337
00:58:46,960 --> 00:58:48,479
Support our team!
I'll prove it to you!
1338
00:58:48,480 --> 00:58:50,599
Car wash!
1339
00:58:50,600 --> 00:58:51,840
What are you doing?
1340
00:58:51,960 --> 00:58:53,200
No, no, you're gonna like this.
1341
00:58:53,720 --> 00:58:54,767
Hi, girls!
1342
00:58:56,760 --> 00:58:58,489
Come on.
1343
00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:02,279
Honey,
you don't have to do this.
1344
00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:03,319
I want to.
1345
00:59:03,320 --> 00:59:05,279
Hi, girls!
1346
00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:07,279
Wash it up extra soapy!
1347
00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:09,279
You got it.
1348
00:59:09,280 --> 00:59:11,639
Oh, wait, hang on. There's a
car just in front of you.
1349
00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:12,719
Better do them first.
1350
00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:13,839
Yo, got a customer!
1351
00:59:13,840 --> 00:59:16,479
You take these guys,
we'll take the yellow car.
1352
00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:18,528
Extra soapy.
1353
00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:24,609
Oh, what is
happening right now?
1354
00:59:27,640 --> 00:59:30,166
I swear, I didn't plan this.
1355
00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:38,799
No, no, no, no. Thank you. I'm good.
I'm good, thank you.
1356
00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:41,007
Well, I might as
well enjoy this.
1357
01:00:22,080 --> 01:00:24,359
Why is this never-ending?
1358
01:00:24,360 --> 01:00:27,330
At least the guys in the car
in front of us are having fun.
1359
01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:42,319
What are you doing?
Get in there!
1360
01:00:42,320 --> 01:00:43,651
Let me do it.
1361
01:00:50,560 --> 01:00:52,439
Okay, everybody.
1362
01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:55,319
It wasn't a perfect day. I admit it.
There were some downs.
1363
01:00:55,320 --> 01:00:57,119
Sorry about the leg.
1364
01:00:57,120 --> 01:00:58,639
The good news is
1365
01:00:58,640 --> 01:01:00,688
the children got through
another year of school.
1366
01:01:00,800 --> 01:01:01,919
Fabulously.
1367
01:01:01,920 --> 01:01:04,919
You got older, even though I told you not to.
Especially you.
1368
01:01:04,920 --> 01:01:06,759
Stay young. Don't leave me.
1369
01:01:06,760 --> 01:01:10,239
You prepared us your famous
chicken à la food poisoning,
1370
01:01:10,240 --> 01:01:11,599
which we're all excited to eat.
1371
01:01:11,600 --> 01:01:14,119
I'm just kidding.
1372
01:01:14,120 --> 01:01:16,439
But the greatest thing is, it's
my favorite part of the day
1373
01:01:16,440 --> 01:01:17,639
with my four best friends.
1374
01:01:17,640 --> 01:01:18,926
To the Feders!
1375
01:01:20,880 --> 01:01:23,679
So Bumpty asked me
out for ice cream today.
1376
01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:27,919
I "went out for ice cream"
once with your dad.
1377
01:01:27,920 --> 01:01:31,129
Nine months later,
Andre popped out.
1378
01:01:32,760 --> 01:01:36,479
This is the best
vanilla pudding I've ever had.
1379
01:01:36,480 --> 01:01:38,767
That's butter, son.
1380
01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:42,439
Here you go.
1381
01:01:42,440 --> 01:01:43,726
Oh, hey.
1382
01:01:43,840 --> 01:01:45,119
Want me to come in
and feed it to you
1383
01:01:45,120 --> 01:01:47,279
like I did the last time?
1384
01:01:47,280 --> 01:01:49,521
No, no. I got my kid here.
1385
01:01:49,640 --> 01:01:50,799
That wouldn't be cool.
1386
01:01:50,800 --> 01:01:53,279
You said you loved me!
1387
01:01:54,520 --> 01:01:56,284
They're not all tens, buddy.
1388
01:02:00,480 --> 01:02:02,359
Homeboy, why aren't you eating?
1389
01:02:02,360 --> 01:02:05,119
I saw something today
that made me lose my appetite.
1390
01:02:05,120 --> 01:02:07,851
What was it, me naked?
1391
01:02:09,640 --> 01:02:11,319
What?
1392
01:02:11,320 --> 01:02:12,959
What's a burpsmart?
1393
01:02:12,960 --> 01:02:14,159
Burpsnorp?
1394
01:02:14,160 --> 01:02:15,719
A burpsnart!
1395
01:02:15,720 --> 01:02:18,999
Basically, he burps, sneezes
and farts at the same time.
1396
01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:20,119
He goes...
1397
01:02:26,160 --> 01:02:28,479
I think I just shat myself.
1398
01:02:28,480 --> 01:02:31,319
Hey, honey, what time's
that Feder bash tonight?
1399
01:02:31,320 --> 01:02:33,039
What?
1400
01:02:33,040 --> 01:02:34,239
It's paint.
1401
01:02:34,240 --> 01:02:35,719
It doesn't come off.
1402
01:02:35,720 --> 01:02:38,159
I thought it might be fun
to have a theme, no?
1403
01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:39,446
A theme?
1404
01:02:39,560 --> 01:02:40,839
Roxanne decided the theme is...
1405
01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:44,759
The '80s?
1406
01:02:44,760 --> 01:02:46,808
That was 70 years ago.
1407
01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:50,999
I thought we could
go as Hall & Oates.
1408
01:02:51,000 --> 01:02:51,967
Hall & Oates?
1409
01:02:52,080 --> 01:02:53,199
Yeah.
Yeah.
1410
01:02:53,200 --> 01:02:55,079
What is that, like a cereal?
1411
01:02:55,080 --> 01:02:56,599
No.
1412
01:02:56,600 --> 01:02:58,045
Why don't you
ask Nancy Arbuckle
1413
01:02:58,200 --> 01:02:59,679
to come by for
the get-together?
1414
01:02:59,680 --> 01:03:02,639
Or do you prefer
the imaginary shower version?
1415
01:03:05,400 --> 01:03:07,839
You know what, Charlotte?
I trust you,
1416
01:03:07,840 --> 01:03:09,599
and I want you to
have fun tonight.
1417
01:03:09,600 --> 01:03:11,039
Really.
1418
01:03:14,120 --> 01:03:16,885
What's up, player?
I'm here for your daughter.
1419
01:03:19,760 --> 01:03:23,207
What...
1420
01:03:23,320 --> 01:03:25,891
Used to get 10 cases
of beer for my parties,
1421
01:03:26,000 --> 01:03:28,571
now I get 10
cases of juice boxes.
1422
01:03:28,880 --> 01:03:30,479
Hey, Beckster.
1423
01:03:30,480 --> 01:03:32,239
Hey, Stud Muffin.
Hey.
1424
01:03:32,240 --> 01:03:35,639
Mommy calls him Stud Muffin,
so I call him Stud Muffin.
1425
01:03:35,640 --> 01:03:36,759
Is that right?
1426
01:03:36,760 --> 01:03:39,399
You must be Roxanne's husband.
I'm Kyle.
1427
01:03:39,400 --> 01:03:41,719
How do you know my wife
again there, Mud Stuffing?
1428
01:03:41,720 --> 01:03:43,639
I worked her out this morning.
1429
01:03:43,640 --> 01:03:44,719
Oh, really?
1430
01:03:44,720 --> 01:03:47,326
I worked her out this morning,
too, pretty good.
1431
01:03:47,760 --> 01:03:48,919
All right.
1432
01:03:48,920 --> 01:03:50,919
Hi.
1433
01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:52,119
What's up?
1434
01:03:52,120 --> 01:03:53,759
This is awkward.
1435
01:03:53,760 --> 01:03:55,919
My husband's here.
1436
01:03:55,920 --> 01:03:57,639
Why is that awkward?
1437
01:03:57,640 --> 01:03:59,399
Why?
1438
01:03:59,400 --> 01:04:01,129
Well, let me give you a hint.
1439
01:04:02,760 --> 01:04:04,879
You have brain damage?
1440
01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:09,439
I think we both know
what time it is, don't we?
1441
01:04:09,440 --> 01:04:10,839
What time is it?
1442
01:04:10,840 --> 01:04:12,919
Oh, nothing.
1443
01:04:12,920 --> 01:04:16,839
It's just...
Just time to...
1444
01:04:16,840 --> 01:04:18,524
Help me out here.
1445
01:04:18,760 --> 01:04:21,639
I'm lost right now. I'm sorry.
1446
01:04:21,640 --> 01:04:23,599
Wiley, how'd Andre McKenzie do?
1447
01:04:23,600 --> 01:04:24,679
Did he pass his test?
1448
01:04:24,680 --> 01:04:26,199
He squeaked by.
1449
01:04:26,200 --> 01:04:28,399
We didn't check out
any soapy cheerleaders.
1450
01:04:28,400 --> 01:04:30,159
What's going on
with you and my wife?
1451
01:04:30,160 --> 01:04:31,239
I'm gonna go.
1452
01:04:31,240 --> 01:04:32,571
Actually, why don't we all
go our separate ways.
1453
01:04:32,680 --> 01:04:34,999
I don't see any of these
conversations working out for me.
1454
01:04:35,000 --> 01:04:36,439
Adios.
I'll see you tonight.
1455
01:04:36,440 --> 01:04:37,479
Hey.
1456
01:04:37,480 --> 01:04:38,641
I'll bring the Hubba Bubba.
1457
01:04:39,560 --> 01:04:40,719
What?
1458
01:04:40,720 --> 01:04:42,839
Yeah, party
tonight '80s-style, huh?
1459
01:04:42,840 --> 01:04:44,719
Rocky III.
1460
01:04:44,720 --> 01:04:45,801
Wiley!
1461
01:04:45,920 --> 01:04:46,967
Okay.
1462
01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:49,764
Hey, babe.
1463
01:04:50,680 --> 01:04:51,966
What does Penny's note say?
1464
01:04:53,920 --> 01:04:54,967
Uh...
1465
01:04:56,320 --> 01:04:58,159
She wrote,
"Mayonnaise, zitis..."
1466
01:04:58,160 --> 01:04:59,400
The other side.
1467
01:05:02,160 --> 01:05:04,639
"Meet me by your
mailbox at 11:00."
1468
01:05:04,640 --> 01:05:07,007
Why would I meet her
by my mailbox at 11:00?
1469
01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:14,399
You have any idea
what just happened there?
1470
01:05:14,400 --> 01:05:15,759
Not a clue.
1471
01:05:15,760 --> 01:05:18,239
I don't care who
your parents are.
1472
01:05:18,240 --> 01:05:19,919
You screw up, I fire you.
1473
01:05:19,920 --> 01:05:22,119
It's all good.
1474
01:05:22,120 --> 01:05:23,239
"It's all good"?
1475
01:05:23,240 --> 01:05:25,559
It's a family restaurant,
not a rap show.
1476
01:05:25,560 --> 01:05:27,199
It's all bad?
1477
01:05:27,200 --> 01:05:29,159
That's right, it is.
1478
01:05:29,160 --> 01:05:30,525
You got a customer.
1479
01:05:31,840 --> 01:05:33,679
I'm sorry. Welcome to
the Ice Cream House.
1480
01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:35,399
Hi, Greg.
1481
01:05:35,400 --> 01:05:37,279
Nancy, hi.
1482
01:05:37,280 --> 01:05:40,119
I think you crushed your cones.
1483
01:05:40,120 --> 01:05:41,359
Oh, no.
1484
01:05:41,360 --> 01:05:42,839
That was a...
That was a squeeze test.
1485
01:05:42,840 --> 01:05:44,519
These cones failed.
1486
01:05:44,520 --> 01:05:47,159
We're gonna try cardboard cones next.
1487
01:05:47,160 --> 01:05:48,241
You're smiling.
1488
01:05:48,920 --> 01:05:50,359
And number two.
1489
01:05:50,360 --> 01:05:52,439
You have such a nice smile.
1490
01:05:52,440 --> 01:05:54,199
Thanks.
1491
01:05:54,200 --> 01:05:57,199
Go out with me tonight before
your friends say I'm fugly.
1492
01:05:57,200 --> 01:05:59,359
Tonight?
1493
01:05:59,360 --> 01:06:00,441
Sure.
1494
01:06:00,560 --> 01:06:02,642
No freaking way.
1495
01:06:04,200 --> 01:06:06,959
Your father used to do
that same three-step crap
1496
01:06:06,960 --> 01:06:08,291
when we were growing up.
1497
01:06:08,400 --> 01:06:10,719
It always worked then.
1498
01:06:10,720 --> 01:06:12,529
Even on my wife.
1499
01:06:15,480 --> 01:06:18,559
I ain't no boy with
a mind you can toy,
1500
01:06:18,560 --> 01:06:21,559
'cause if this is a ploy,
I'll destroy Illinois.
1501
01:06:21,560 --> 01:06:24,399
It is so amazing how you can
freestyle like that.
1502
01:06:24,400 --> 01:06:27,370
I been laying it down
truthful since day one.
1503
01:06:30,440 --> 01:06:33,479
Well, I sing sometimes, too,
1504
01:06:33,480 --> 01:06:35,608
but only, like, in the shower.
1505
01:06:35,720 --> 01:06:37,759
I'm scared to sing in
front of other people.
1506
01:06:37,760 --> 01:06:40,839
If you scared,
that means you don't got it.
1507
01:06:40,840 --> 01:06:44,322
Sorry to be blunt, but I don't front.
I'm hard-core.
1508
01:06:47,880 --> 01:06:49,484
Dinosaur!
1509
01:06:51,240 --> 01:06:53,599
How long ago was the '80s?
1510
01:06:53,600 --> 01:06:56,439
That was way back in the 1900s.
1511
01:06:56,440 --> 01:06:57,719
We learned about it in school.
1512
01:06:57,720 --> 01:06:58,839
It was wack.
1513
01:06:58,840 --> 01:07:01,919
The phones had long, curly
things coming out of the end.
1514
01:07:01,920 --> 01:07:03,639
You had to watch commercials.
1515
01:07:03,640 --> 01:07:04,799
No way.
1516
01:07:04,800 --> 01:07:06,131
Isn't that right, Bowser?
1517
01:07:08,160 --> 01:07:10,039
How we doing?
1518
01:07:10,040 --> 01:07:12,439
Hey, Dad, why do we have to
wear costumes and you don't?
1519
01:07:12,440 --> 01:07:13,879
I am wearing a costume.
1520
01:07:13,880 --> 01:07:16,611
Bruce Springsteen,
Born in the U. S.A.
1521
01:07:17,600 --> 01:07:19,399
Who's Bruce Springsteen?
1522
01:07:19,400 --> 01:07:21,368
I guess some guy
with a giant butt.
1523
01:07:21,560 --> 01:07:22,679
Ha.
1524
01:07:22,680 --> 01:07:24,639
You don't know who the Boss is?
1525
01:07:24,640 --> 01:07:26,239
I stink as a father.
1526
01:07:26,240 --> 01:07:28,319
You do not stink as a father.
1527
01:07:28,320 --> 01:07:30,239
You're the best father I know.
1528
01:07:30,240 --> 01:07:32,679
That's why I don't understand
why you don't...
1529
01:07:32,680 --> 01:07:33,799
Why I don't want a baby?
1530
01:07:33,800 --> 01:07:36,280
Because I don't want one!
Let's move on from that!
1531
01:07:43,440 --> 01:07:45,920
Oh, no. No, no.
1532
01:07:46,040 --> 01:07:47,879
Tell her it wasn't
you talking, Dad.
1533
01:07:47,880 --> 01:07:49,559
It was your flabby ass.
1534
01:07:49,560 --> 01:07:53,042
You want me to "accidentally"
break the other leg?
1535
01:07:58,800 --> 01:08:02,319
Hey, I'm sorry
I raised my voice.
1536
01:08:02,320 --> 01:08:03,999
In front of the children!
1537
01:08:04,000 --> 01:08:05,639
Right, in front of the kids.
1538
01:08:05,640 --> 01:08:06,959
It's just, you...
1539
01:08:06,960 --> 01:08:09,679
All you're doing is bringing up
this baby thing over and over.
1540
01:08:09,680 --> 01:08:11,199
Are you going through, like,
1541
01:08:11,200 --> 01:08:15,250
a "womany" hormone situation
or something?
1542
01:08:15,360 --> 01:08:17,159
Menopause?
1543
01:08:17,160 --> 01:08:19,128
What, you're not old enough for that?
I'm sorry.
1544
01:08:19,240 --> 01:08:20,999
Okay, no,
I meant schizophrenia.
1545
01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:23,359
No, honey, honey, honey,
1546
01:08:23,360 --> 01:08:26,399
if we have another baby,
we're starting over, you know?
1547
01:08:26,400 --> 01:08:27,959
How about we just adopt a kid?
1548
01:08:27,960 --> 01:08:29,319
Like
a 20-year-old who has a job.
1549
01:08:29,320 --> 01:08:30,881
That way we could
make money off of him.
1550
01:08:31,360 --> 01:08:32,361
Oh!
1551
01:08:32,480 --> 01:08:35,768
I just... Don't you think we can
start concentrating on me and you?
1552
01:08:35,880 --> 01:08:38,479
That's all I'm saying.
It's our time.
1553
01:08:38,480 --> 01:08:43,159
Well, I am going through
kind of a hormone thing.
1554
01:08:43,160 --> 01:08:45,447
Ah, good,
there's pills for that.
1555
01:08:47,080 --> 01:08:48,969
I'm pregnant.
1556
01:08:52,440 --> 01:08:54,408
Our guests are here.
1557
01:08:56,880 --> 01:09:00,009
Wait a minute,
when did we even have...
1558
01:09:00,400 --> 01:09:01,401
Oh.
1559
01:09:03,560 --> 01:09:07,799
Damn you, Motel 6 hot tub!
1560
01:09:07,800 --> 01:09:10,639
Wow.
Lenny, that's big, brother.
1561
01:09:10,640 --> 01:09:12,239
Yeah, four kids is the best.
1562
01:09:12,240 --> 01:09:13,719
What are you
talking about, Prince?
1563
01:09:13,720 --> 01:09:15,768
You told me it would be
the worst if that happened.
1564
01:09:15,880 --> 01:09:17,919
There's a lot of
great aspects to that.
1565
01:09:17,920 --> 01:09:21,599
Like, when Junior graduates
high school, you'll be 64.
1566
01:09:21,600 --> 01:09:22,999
How is that a good thing?
1567
01:09:23,000 --> 01:09:24,799
Actually, it's horrifying.
1568
01:09:24,800 --> 01:09:26,799
I didn't do the math before
I opened my mouth. Sorry.
1569
01:09:26,800 --> 01:09:28,959
Whoo. Nice job, Cher.
1570
01:09:28,960 --> 01:09:30,079
Okay, I'm not Cher.
1571
01:09:30,080 --> 01:09:32,239
I'm Meat Loaf, all right?
Yeah.
1572
01:09:32,240 --> 01:09:34,599
You're Meat Loaf,
or you're made of meat loaf?
1573
01:09:34,600 --> 01:09:36,284
Who are you, Doug Henning?
1574
01:09:36,400 --> 01:09:38,239
I'm Oates.
1575
01:09:38,240 --> 01:09:39,241
Where's Hall?
1576
01:09:39,360 --> 01:09:41,759
Hall's having
a playdate with your kids.
1577
01:09:44,880 --> 01:09:46,919
Anyway, you got nothing
to worry about, Lenny.
1578
01:09:46,920 --> 01:09:48,120
All right? You're a great dad.
1579
01:09:48,160 --> 01:09:49,719
Right, I know.
I broke my son's leg today.
1580
01:09:49,720 --> 01:09:50,959
That's a real good dad.
1581
01:09:50,960 --> 01:09:52,291
Guys, you're
bumming me out, all right?
1582
01:09:52,400 --> 01:09:53,719
This is supposed
to be party time.
1583
01:09:53,720 --> 01:09:56,759
This isn't gonna be a real party.
I'm drinking a juice box,
1584
01:09:56,760 --> 01:09:58,285
'cause I'm afraid my
wife's gonna yell at me
1585
01:09:58,440 --> 01:10:00,039
for getting drunk
in front of the kids.
1586
01:10:00,040 --> 01:10:03,249
How many of you guys have been to
a party in the past six months?
1587
01:10:04,560 --> 01:10:06,289
A party without a bouncy house.
1588
01:10:07,720 --> 01:10:09,609
A party where they
actually invited you.
1589
01:10:11,080 --> 01:10:12,239
Yeah.
1590
01:10:12,240 --> 01:10:14,759
The party's over, fellas.
1591
01:10:14,760 --> 01:10:16,879
You saw the way those frat
guys treated us today.
1592
01:10:16,880 --> 01:10:18,319
We're irrelevant.
1593
01:10:18,320 --> 01:10:19,639
We're losers.
1594
01:10:19,640 --> 01:10:20,759
We're old.
1595
01:10:20,760 --> 01:10:22,199
Lamonsoff totally surrendered.
1596
01:10:22,200 --> 01:10:24,119
He's got a fanny pack on now,
for God's sake.
1597
01:10:24,120 --> 01:10:25,839
You know what, first of all,
1598
01:10:25,840 --> 01:10:28,479
it's a "survanny" pack,
a survival fanny pack,
1599
01:10:28,480 --> 01:10:29,919
with many special features.
1600
01:10:29,920 --> 01:10:32,207
So you pull that triangle
and lasagna comes out?
1601
01:10:33,800 --> 01:10:35,279
Why don't you give it a shot?
1602
01:10:35,280 --> 01:10:37,487
You got it.
I'll pull the string.
1603
01:10:40,440 --> 01:10:42,522
♪ Like a raft out of hell! ♪
1604
01:10:43,840 --> 01:10:45,888
Yeah, good one, that was good.
1605
01:10:46,320 --> 01:10:48,243
Don't ever say
the party's over!
1606
01:10:50,520 --> 01:10:52,329
That didn't happen.
1607
01:10:56,200 --> 01:10:58,328
Hey, Richard Simmons is a hero.
1608
01:11:16,320 --> 01:11:18,479
No, no, no, no, no.
1609
01:11:18,480 --> 01:11:19,759
What's with all this Prince?
1610
01:11:19,760 --> 01:11:21,079
I'm Prince.
The hell.
1611
01:11:21,080 --> 01:11:22,479
You ain't Prince. I'm Prince.
1612
01:11:22,480 --> 01:11:24,084
My skin's way
lighter than yours.
1613
01:11:24,200 --> 01:11:27,159
You should have came as Seal on
a hunger strike.
1614
01:11:27,160 --> 01:11:30,759
You look like Morgan Freeman
if he was a transvestite.
1615
01:11:30,760 --> 01:11:32,046
And what you
doing here, Bumpty?
1616
01:11:32,160 --> 01:11:33,479
I thought you was
out with my daughter.
1617
01:11:33,480 --> 01:11:35,879
That ain't Bumpty.
That's my wife.
1618
01:11:35,880 --> 01:11:38,599
Oh, Mary!
I didn't recognize you.
1619
01:11:38,600 --> 01:11:39,959
Where's your costume?
1620
01:11:39,960 --> 01:11:42,884
I didn't find out about the
party until it was too late.
1621
01:11:43,120 --> 01:11:46,044
So you decided to
come as a black Muppet?
1622
01:11:46,400 --> 01:11:48,767
What?
1623
01:11:49,400 --> 01:11:52,847
Come on, you're my one and
only, sweetie-boo-mo-mo.
1624
01:11:53,440 --> 01:11:55,719
Make a muscle for me?
1625
01:11:55,720 --> 01:11:56,846
Pwease?
1626
01:11:58,240 --> 01:11:59,439
Ooh!
1627
01:11:59,440 --> 01:12:01,408
So bulgy.
1628
01:12:02,240 --> 01:12:06,325
Like a big caramel apple.
1629
01:12:16,320 --> 01:12:18,084
Wow.
1630
01:12:18,280 --> 01:12:21,921
I'm scared.
I feel safe with you.
1631
01:12:32,240 --> 01:12:33,924
Shut up.
1632
01:12:35,520 --> 01:12:39,159
You know, I can make
a connection with a woman.
1633
01:12:39,160 --> 01:12:41,439
I just can't sustain it.
1634
01:12:41,440 --> 01:12:43,602
You know,
there's a distance there.
1635
01:12:43,800 --> 01:12:47,959
Try to fill it up pharmaceutically,
you know, with pills,
1636
01:12:47,960 --> 01:12:49,919
or the Discovery Channel,
1637
01:12:49,920 --> 01:12:52,082
or Dino Nuggets.
1638
01:12:52,440 --> 01:12:54,199
But nothing really works.
1639
01:12:54,200 --> 01:12:57,443
See, you understand, you know?
1640
01:12:57,560 --> 01:12:59,608
'Cause you're, I heard,
1641
01:13:00,080 --> 01:13:02,606
sensitive to men.
1642
01:13:03,000 --> 01:13:04,479
God, he's hot!
1643
01:13:04,480 --> 01:13:06,721
Zip it!
He'll find out our secret!
1644
01:13:13,120 --> 01:13:14,167
Drink up, partner.
1645
01:13:14,320 --> 01:13:15,399
Yeah!
1646
01:13:15,400 --> 01:13:16,970
Lenny!
1647
01:13:17,080 --> 01:13:18,879
Uh-oh! Secret table.
1648
01:13:18,880 --> 01:13:21,119
Yes, honey, how are you?
What's going on?
1649
01:13:21,120 --> 01:13:22,799
We just trying to
get our punch on.
1650
01:13:22,800 --> 01:13:23,839
Becky's sleepy.
1651
01:13:23,840 --> 01:13:25,959
She wants her daddy
to put her to bed.
1652
01:13:25,960 --> 01:13:28,725
Well, Daddy's right about to
enjoy some refreshing punch,
1653
01:13:28,840 --> 01:13:30,839
so could you put her to sleep?
1654
01:13:30,840 --> 01:13:32,919
Well, you wouldn't want
to have too much punch
1655
01:13:32,920 --> 01:13:35,241
with all these
kids running around.
1656
01:13:35,360 --> 01:13:36,919
You know what,
I'd be okay with that.
1657
01:13:36,920 --> 01:13:38,319
Actually, you wouldn't.
1658
01:13:38,320 --> 01:13:39,759
Gotcha.
1659
01:13:39,760 --> 01:13:42,679
I'll be back soon, fellas. I'll be back soon.
That's a promise.
1660
01:13:42,680 --> 01:13:44,319
Let's go, little girl.
Good night.
1661
01:13:44,320 --> 01:13:45,481
Time to go to sleep.
1662
01:13:45,840 --> 01:13:47,524
Close your eyes.
1663
01:13:51,000 --> 01:13:52,365
Yeah, Mom.
1664
01:13:54,000 --> 01:13:56,367
As easy as making a free throw.
1665
01:13:58,520 --> 01:14:00,799
Hey, Bean, Becky went to sleep.
1666
01:14:00,800 --> 01:14:03,519
I think it's time for you to hit it, pal.
What do you say?
1667
01:14:03,520 --> 01:14:04,879
Oh, no, no, don't touch that.
1668
01:14:04,880 --> 01:14:06,359
Yeah, you might break it.
1669
01:14:10,360 --> 01:14:12,119
What...
1670
01:14:12,120 --> 01:14:13,929
Where did you
learn how to do that?
1671
01:14:14,040 --> 01:14:15,804
I saw it in one of my dreams.
1672
01:14:20,640 --> 01:14:22,999
You're a genius?
1673
01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:25,287
My boy's a genius.
1674
01:14:29,880 --> 01:14:32,759
Your dad's also a genius.
1675
01:14:32,760 --> 01:14:35,319
Sweet dreams there,
angel, okay?
1676
01:14:35,320 --> 01:14:38,519
Daddy, can you lay in bed
with me till I fall asleep?
1677
01:14:38,520 --> 01:14:41,199
What do you mean? I thought you are sleepy.
That's why we came up here.
1678
01:14:41,200 --> 01:14:43,567
Please lay down.
1679
01:14:44,320 --> 01:14:45,321
Oh!
1680
01:14:46,880 --> 01:14:48,199
I'll lay down with you, then.
1681
01:14:48,200 --> 01:14:51,399
I just... There's
a party going on, but...
1682
01:14:51,400 --> 01:14:53,039
Can you tell me a story?
1683
01:14:53,040 --> 01:14:54,644
Look who was in
the neighborhood!
1684
01:14:54,760 --> 01:14:57,999
Some of Lenny's friends
from the old J. Geils Band!
1685
01:15:11,800 --> 01:15:13,040
Daddy?
1686
01:15:13,160 --> 01:15:14,479
You don't want one slug?
1687
01:15:14,480 --> 01:15:15,919
No.
1688
01:15:15,920 --> 01:15:18,082
I thought you liked
this stuff. Sorry.
1689
01:15:19,160 --> 01:15:22,209
All right.
I'll tell you a story.
1690
01:15:22,320 --> 01:15:28,202
Once upon a time,
there was a hand,
1691
01:15:28,720 --> 01:15:31,803
and the hand
faced-raked the child.
1692
01:15:32,320 --> 01:15:35,563
Sleep!
1693
01:15:35,880 --> 01:15:38,167
Slee...
1694
01:15:39,320 --> 01:15:41,084
Sleep!
1695
01:15:41,760 --> 01:15:45,970
Boy, Feder's cranking his old rock
and roll records pretty loud.
1696
01:15:46,440 --> 01:15:48,283
Guess he's never
heard of neighbors.
1697
01:15:51,040 --> 01:15:52,280
Now, why you stopping here?
1698
01:15:52,480 --> 01:15:53,999
I need some air.
1699
01:15:54,000 --> 01:15:55,239
You need some air?
1700
01:15:55,240 --> 01:15:56,480
We haven't even
gotten to the party yet.
1701
01:15:56,640 --> 01:15:57,959
I would appreciate it
1702
01:15:57,960 --> 01:16:00,281
if you would stop
trying to "manage" me.
1703
01:16:01,560 --> 01:16:03,688
Word, word.
1704
01:16:04,200 --> 01:16:05,799
Want me to stay
and wait with you?
1705
01:16:05,800 --> 01:16:09,771
I just want to be alone!
1706
01:16:11,360 --> 01:16:13,119
Yo, don't believe the hype.
1707
01:16:13,120 --> 01:16:15,122
Boy!
1708
01:16:24,280 --> 01:16:28,679
Daddy, I can't fall asleep
without Mr. Gigglesworth.
1709
01:16:28,680 --> 01:16:31,159
You told me he would be okay.
1710
01:16:31,160 --> 01:16:33,239
He will be. I...
1711
01:16:33,240 --> 01:16:35,481
He just needs to rest
a little bit longer, okay?
1712
01:16:35,640 --> 01:16:38,883
Please, Daddy.
I need to see him.
1713
01:16:39,600 --> 01:16:43,321
He had a very rough day.
1714
01:16:43,640 --> 01:16:48,089
But I'll get him for you,
because you need to see him.
1715
01:16:49,720 --> 01:16:53,042
Doing leg lifts. I work
out when I can, you know?
1716
01:16:53,400 --> 01:16:54,999
Want some Daddy
candy right here?
1717
01:16:55,000 --> 01:16:57,039
Why are you naked?
1718
01:16:57,040 --> 01:16:58,565
Global warming.
1719
01:16:59,080 --> 01:17:00,399
Why is this empty?
1720
01:17:00,400 --> 01:17:01,919
Where is Gigglesworth?
Hey, hey.
1721
01:17:01,920 --> 01:17:05,039
I'm sorry, man.
Were you looking for this?
1722
01:17:05,040 --> 01:17:06,359
Why's he look good?
1723
01:17:06,360 --> 01:17:07,719
I sewed him.
1724
01:17:07,720 --> 01:17:08,879
You sew?
1725
01:17:08,880 --> 01:17:10,039
Where'd you learn how to sew?
1726
01:17:10,040 --> 01:17:11,199
Gay camp.
1727
01:17:11,200 --> 01:17:13,441
You went to gay camp?
You're gay?
1728
01:17:13,600 --> 01:17:16,239
No, no. No, I mean, I'm gay,
1729
01:17:16,240 --> 01:17:18,879
but no, there's no such thing as
gay camp, man. It was a joke.
1730
01:17:18,880 --> 01:17:20,759
I learned to sew from my dad,
who was a tailor.
1731
01:17:20,760 --> 01:17:23,331
I've been sewing since
I was Becky's age. Here.
1732
01:17:23,480 --> 01:17:25,403
This is great.
1733
01:17:25,880 --> 01:17:27,999
Gigglesworth's okay,
1734
01:17:28,000 --> 01:17:30,279
you're not fooling
around with my wife,
1735
01:17:30,280 --> 01:17:31,520
and you got a pee stain.
1736
01:17:35,680 --> 01:17:37,842
That is not mine.
1737
01:17:47,080 --> 01:17:49,082
You're an animal.
1738
01:17:54,880 --> 01:17:57,770
I am the law!
1739
01:18:02,920 --> 01:18:03,921
Oh!
1740
01:18:07,560 --> 01:18:09,688
Can you dig it?
1741
01:18:19,520 --> 01:18:20,521
Ah!
1742
01:18:21,120 --> 01:18:23,441
Come on, big man, Lenny's
got, like, 12 bathrooms.
1743
01:18:23,640 --> 01:18:25,799
I don't got to go
to the bathroom.
1744
01:18:25,800 --> 01:18:27,450
I'm just enjoying the water.
1745
01:18:27,960 --> 01:18:29,999
Get out.
1746
01:18:30,000 --> 01:18:32,679
Hurry! Hurry!
1747
01:18:32,680 --> 01:18:34,364
Oh, Fluzoo, come on!
1748
01:18:34,480 --> 01:18:37,324
That's not even warm.
It's hot.
1749
01:18:42,320 --> 01:18:44,479
I got to give it to
your old man for one thing.
1750
01:18:44,480 --> 01:18:47,359
He could always throw a party.
1751
01:18:47,360 --> 01:18:48,964
This is my dad's party?
1752
01:18:52,440 --> 01:18:55,489
Check out your girlfriend
in the Pat Benatar outfit.
1753
01:19:17,000 --> 01:19:18,365
Charlotte,
1754
01:19:18,480 --> 01:19:19,839
that was amazing.
1755
01:19:19,840 --> 01:19:21,251
Where'd you learn
to sing like that?
1756
01:19:21,360 --> 01:19:24,921
No place. I just sing a little
in the shower.
1757
01:19:25,160 --> 01:19:27,559
Maybe you should stick to the shower.
1758
01:19:27,560 --> 01:19:28,879
♪ 'Cause I gots the power
1759
01:19:28,880 --> 01:19:31,399
♪ I'm on Today Show
Dissing Matt Lauer ♪
1760
01:19:31,400 --> 01:19:32,519
Bumpty!
1761
01:19:32,520 --> 01:19:33,879
Do me a favor
and shut your mouth
1762
01:19:33,880 --> 01:19:36,879
before I slap that
Mohawk into a chin strap.
1763
01:19:36,880 --> 01:19:38,484
What?
1764
01:19:53,080 --> 01:19:54,399
Hey.
1765
01:19:54,400 --> 01:19:56,448
Who invited you guys?
1766
01:19:56,560 --> 01:19:58,959
Your beautiful wife does.
1767
01:19:58,960 --> 01:20:00,239
Well, she invited her,
1768
01:20:00,240 --> 01:20:03,164
and naturally,
we assumed it was a plus one.
1769
01:20:03,720 --> 01:20:04,879
There a problem?
1770
01:20:04,880 --> 01:20:08,599
No, I was gonna say,
great Terminator outfit
1771
01:20:08,600 --> 01:20:11,439
and Robert Palmer
thing you got on, and...
1772
01:20:12,800 --> 01:20:14,404
Nice babble.
1773
01:20:15,640 --> 01:20:17,001
- How about this?
- No.
1774
01:20:17,080 --> 01:20:18,199
What about that?
1775
01:20:18,200 --> 01:20:20,439
Does that hurt?
Is that hurting you?
1776
01:20:20,440 --> 01:20:21,599
Yes, it is hurting me.
1777
01:20:21,600 --> 01:20:24,399
Oh. Okay.
Well, let me do it some more.
1778
01:20:24,400 --> 01:20:26,687
You got something to say?
1779
01:20:26,800 --> 01:20:28,450
Actually, Cavanaugh.
1780
01:20:28,600 --> 01:20:32,239
You want to stay at my party,
I think you owe me an apology.
1781
01:20:32,240 --> 01:20:33,319
For what?
1782
01:20:33,320 --> 01:20:36,210
For back in the day,
always giving me crap.
1783
01:20:36,480 --> 01:20:38,599
You don't want to
let bygones be bygones?
1784
01:20:38,600 --> 01:20:41,809
I do.
After you apologize to me.
1785
01:20:42,240 --> 01:20:44,119
For stuff I did 30 years ago?
1786
01:20:44,120 --> 01:20:47,759
There isn't a statute of
limitations on being a dick.
1787
01:20:47,760 --> 01:20:49,879
What'd you just say?
1788
01:20:49,880 --> 01:20:51,799
I said what I said.
1789
01:20:51,800 --> 01:20:53,919
You and me are
fighting right now.
1790
01:20:53,920 --> 01:20:56,199
Now, let's go!
Let's get it over with.
1791
01:20:58,160 --> 01:21:00,599
Oh, man, looks like our
friend's about to die.
1792
01:21:00,600 --> 01:21:02,489
Lenny, what's going on?
I'm calling the police!
1793
01:21:02,600 --> 01:21:05,171
We're already here.
1794
01:21:07,960 --> 01:21:09,246
Hold my hair, woman.
1795
01:21:10,120 --> 01:21:11,319
You ready for this?
1796
01:21:11,320 --> 01:21:14,159
Not at all,
but I'm gonna do this,
1797
01:21:14,160 --> 01:21:16,128
'cause I got to show
my son what's right.
1798
01:21:19,960 --> 01:21:21,799
We'd do anything for
our boys, wouldn't we?
1799
01:21:21,800 --> 01:21:23,279
Absolutely.
1800
01:21:23,280 --> 01:21:24,479
Yeah.
1801
01:21:24,480 --> 01:21:26,119
My boy's over in Afghanistan.
1802
01:21:26,120 --> 01:21:29,599
Well, you raised him right.
I hope he gets home safe soon.
1803
01:21:29,600 --> 01:21:31,119
Yeah, me, too.
1804
01:21:31,120 --> 01:21:32,639
Sucker-punch him, Feder.
1805
01:21:32,640 --> 01:21:37,009
Lick his bicep. Lick it,
bite it, lick the tan off.
1806
01:21:38,640 --> 01:21:40,759
All right,
here's what's gonna happen.
1807
01:21:40,760 --> 01:21:43,519
Hit me right on the chin. I'll
go down like a sack of potatoes.
1808
01:21:43,520 --> 01:21:44,601
What are you talking about?
1809
01:21:44,720 --> 01:21:45,839
Just do it.
1810
01:21:45,840 --> 01:21:48,320
I know you'd do the same for
me if my boy was watching.
1811
01:21:49,320 --> 01:21:51,163
Let's get busy, Hollywood!
1812
01:21:58,440 --> 01:21:59,959
No! Don't hit me, please!
1813
01:21:59,960 --> 01:22:01,959
I'm sorry.
Please don't hit me.
1814
01:22:01,960 --> 01:22:03,371
You would tear
me limb from limb.
1815
01:22:03,480 --> 01:22:04,839
Open this.
1816
01:22:04,840 --> 01:22:06,080
The only reason I picked on you
1817
01:22:06,200 --> 01:22:07,559
was because I
was afraid of you.
1818
01:22:07,560 --> 01:22:09,039
What?
Oh, my God.
1819
01:22:09,040 --> 01:22:11,119
Please, please, please.
Just go with it.
1820
01:22:11,120 --> 01:22:13,479
I didn't think anyone would
believe you could knock me out.
1821
01:22:13,480 --> 01:22:17,359
Please. Don't hit me.
1822
01:22:17,360 --> 01:22:20,519
Cavanaugh's crying.
This is ridiculous!
1823
01:22:20,520 --> 01:22:21,559
Cavanaugh.
1824
01:22:21,560 --> 01:22:23,199
You mean you don't
want me to hit you with this?
1825
01:22:23,200 --> 01:22:24,201
No! Please.
1826
01:22:24,440 --> 01:22:26,488
Or the elbow?
1827
01:22:26,840 --> 01:22:28,359
Finger in the eye!
1828
01:22:28,360 --> 01:22:30,319
Wow.
Listen to this guy!
1829
01:22:30,320 --> 01:22:33,847
All right, get up.
Straighten up.
1830
01:22:34,160 --> 01:22:35,969
I'm not gonna hit you,
1831
01:22:36,560 --> 01:22:41,039
but if you ever disrespect me
1832
01:22:41,040 --> 01:22:42,919
or anybody,
1833
01:22:42,920 --> 01:22:44,839
I will hunt you down,
1834
01:22:44,840 --> 01:22:48,481
and I will slap you
into a pile of tattoos,
1835
01:22:49,040 --> 01:22:50,724
bad breath
1836
01:22:51,400 --> 01:22:52,481
and back zits.
1837
01:22:53,520 --> 01:22:55,559
Oh, please.
1838
01:22:55,560 --> 01:22:57,688
Do you understand me?
1839
01:22:57,920 --> 01:22:59,599
Yes, I understand you.
1840
01:22:59,600 --> 01:23:02,279
Do you understand me?
1841
01:23:02,280 --> 01:23:04,726
Yes, I understand you!
1842
01:23:05,080 --> 01:23:06,879
Then walk away
before I change my mind.
1843
01:23:06,880 --> 01:23:08,291
Thank you very much.
1844
01:23:14,040 --> 01:23:15,087
Hey, man, look at him!
1845
01:23:15,200 --> 01:23:16,239
What just happened?
1846
01:23:16,240 --> 01:23:18,239
Lenny! Lenny! Lenny!
1847
01:23:18,240 --> 01:23:21,483
Oh, my God, that was the
manliest thing you ever did.
1848
01:23:21,600 --> 01:23:25,039
You get extra special
hip-hop dance tonight.
1849
01:23:25,040 --> 01:23:26,644
Word up.
1850
01:23:30,400 --> 01:23:32,599
Hey, guys, if you see Leonard,
1851
01:23:32,600 --> 01:23:36,161
could you tell him that I'm
here waiting like we arranged?
1852
01:23:36,280 --> 01:23:38,009
Guys? Guys?
1853
01:23:39,520 --> 01:23:43,002
Yeah, okay.
Okay, I am a person!
1854
01:23:43,120 --> 01:23:45,119
That was awesome, by the way.
Had to. Had to.
1855
01:23:45,120 --> 01:23:46,599
Yeah, yeah, you had to.
1856
01:23:46,600 --> 01:23:48,279
He let you off the hook,
didn't he?
1857
01:23:48,280 --> 01:23:51,204
He did, he did,
but I had to go with it.
1858
01:23:56,760 --> 01:23:58,603
I can't believe it!
1859
01:23:58,720 --> 01:24:00,959
We hit the moron jackpot!
1860
01:24:00,960 --> 01:24:05,319
Everybody who needs a beating,
conveniently together on one lawn.
1861
01:24:05,320 --> 01:24:06,879
Who are they?
1862
01:24:06,880 --> 01:24:09,326
Brunson University frat guys.
1863
01:24:09,440 --> 01:24:12,171
Oh, God, I hate white people.
1864
01:24:12,280 --> 01:24:15,119
Excuse me, why are you here?
What's the matter?
1865
01:24:15,120 --> 01:24:18,169
I tell you what is the matter.
1866
01:24:18,280 --> 01:24:21,039
These old townies
trashed our frat house!
1867
01:24:21,040 --> 01:24:24,839
And nobody treats our good-times
headquarters with disrespect!
1868
01:24:24,840 --> 01:24:26,888
Yeah!
1869
01:24:27,040 --> 01:24:30,039
They didn't do it.
1870
01:24:30,040 --> 01:24:31,479
Me do it.
1871
01:24:31,480 --> 01:24:33,767
Don't try and
cover for him, Z-Dog!
1872
01:24:33,880 --> 01:24:35,399
Who's Z-Dog?
1873
01:24:35,400 --> 01:24:36,686
We know they're
trying to get back at us
1874
01:24:36,800 --> 01:24:39,079
for making them do the naked
plunge in our swimming hole.
1875
01:24:39,080 --> 01:24:40,764
Your swimming hole?
I've been swimming
1876
01:24:40,880 --> 01:24:42,564
at the quarry since I
was eight years old.
1877
01:24:42,680 --> 01:24:45,159
Apparently,
everybody in this crap town
1878
01:24:45,160 --> 01:24:48,039
has been swimming there since
they were eight years old.
1879
01:24:48,040 --> 01:24:50,042
I guess nobody
wants to leave this dump
1880
01:24:50,160 --> 01:24:52,162
because they're
too busy sucking!
1881
01:24:57,640 --> 01:24:58,999
We'll finish later.
1882
01:24:59,000 --> 01:25:00,519
You promise?
I promise.
1883
01:25:00,520 --> 01:25:02,399
- Okay.
- Hey, smart guy!
1884
01:25:02,400 --> 01:25:04,639
Lenny Feder left this town,
1885
01:25:04,640 --> 01:25:07,759
moved to Hollywood,
made big bucks,
1886
01:25:07,760 --> 01:25:10,239
probably more money than
all you brainiacs put together
1887
01:25:10,240 --> 01:25:11,319
ever will.
1888
01:25:11,320 --> 01:25:12,526
But guess what?
1889
01:25:12,640 --> 01:25:14,319
He came back here.
1890
01:25:14,320 --> 01:25:16,607
'Cause this
beautiful town is his home.
1891
01:25:16,720 --> 01:25:19,041
And it always will be his home.
1892
01:25:24,360 --> 01:25:28,439
Well, that was just a moving
testament to this community, bro!
1893
01:25:28,440 --> 01:25:32,679
But we didn't come here
to hear any lame speeches.
1894
01:25:32,680 --> 01:25:37,288
We came here to kick
some old, smelly ass!
1895
01:25:43,000 --> 01:25:45,287
Fellas, we may be old.
1896
01:25:45,400 --> 01:25:46,719
We may be smelly.
1897
01:25:46,720 --> 01:25:48,722
We may have a penis.
1898
01:25:51,840 --> 01:25:54,639
But the only ones getting
their ass kicked around here
1899
01:25:54,640 --> 01:25:57,530
is gonna be you spoiled,
1900
01:25:57,640 --> 01:26:01,599
privileged,
uppity, preppy D-bags.
1901
01:26:01,600 --> 01:26:02,879
You hear that?
1902
01:26:02,880 --> 01:26:05,281
Now, let's get busy!
1903
01:26:26,280 --> 01:26:27,559
♪ They're
dancing on the ceiling
1904
01:26:27,560 --> 01:26:30,279
♪ They're dancing on the floor
1905
01:26:30,280 --> 01:26:33,439
♪ People everywhere
coming through the door
1906
01:26:33,440 --> 01:26:36,523
♪ They know there's
a party going on ♪
1907
01:26:46,120 --> 01:26:47,759
Come on, son!
1908
01:26:47,760 --> 01:26:48,799
You ain't tough!
1909
01:26:48,800 --> 01:26:50,245
Hit him!
1910
01:26:50,920 --> 01:26:55,369
Yeah, Braden!
Whoo! Yeah! Damn!
1911
01:26:55,480 --> 01:26:56,970
You want this?
Uh-oh!
1912
01:27:01,320 --> 01:27:02,679
Sir, please stop it!
1913
01:27:02,680 --> 01:27:04,999
That's not a sir!
That's a woman!
1914
01:27:05,000 --> 01:27:07,128
My woman!
1915
01:27:07,240 --> 01:27:09,479
Come on, babe.
1916
01:27:09,480 --> 01:27:12,799
♪ I know you're
gonna lose control
1917
01:27:12,800 --> 01:27:14,119
♪ You can do ♪
1918
01:27:14,120 --> 01:27:16,043
Oh, you're so hot.
1919
01:27:19,560 --> 01:27:22,439
♪ I know it's cold outside ♪
1920
01:27:22,440 --> 01:27:24,442
Don't bust my face!
1921
01:27:25,000 --> 01:27:26,490
You saved me.
1922
01:27:28,400 --> 01:27:31,759
I will protect you for
the rest of your life.
1923
01:27:31,760 --> 01:27:34,843
Oh, okay, blow dryer boy.
1924
01:27:38,320 --> 01:27:39,679
Oh, God, no!
1925
01:27:39,680 --> 01:27:41,799
No! No!
1926
01:27:41,800 --> 01:27:43,879
Yeah! Yeah!
1927
01:27:43,880 --> 01:27:45,679
Having a good anniversary,
babe?
1928
01:27:45,680 --> 01:27:47,011
Oh, honey, the best.
1929
01:27:51,520 --> 01:27:52,999
I can't breathe.
1930
01:27:53,000 --> 01:27:54,199
Choking me!
1931
01:28:04,720 --> 01:28:05,999
Yeah!
1932
01:28:06,000 --> 01:28:07,879
We did it. We did it, man.
1933
01:28:07,880 --> 01:28:08,919
Yeah.
1934
01:28:08,920 --> 01:28:10,439
We make a good team.
1935
01:28:10,440 --> 01:28:11,965
Yeah. Yeah, that was fun.
1936
01:28:38,280 --> 01:28:40,719
♪ I know it's cold outside
1937
01:28:40,720 --> 01:28:43,639
♪ Come on, babe,
I'll keep you satisfied ♪
1938
01:28:43,640 --> 01:28:44,766
Boomer!
1939
01:28:44,880 --> 01:28:46,159
What's going on?
1940
01:28:46,160 --> 01:28:47,679
This!
1941
01:28:47,680 --> 01:28:50,559
You're a traitor, Boomer!
1942
01:28:50,560 --> 01:28:51,766
His name's not Boomer!
1943
01:28:52,840 --> 01:28:54,199
Oh!
It's Gary.
1944
01:28:54,200 --> 01:28:55,439
It's Greg.
1945
01:28:55,440 --> 01:28:57,647
Oh, Greg.
1946
01:29:04,640 --> 01:29:07,039
Oh, my God!
Did you see his head?
1947
01:29:07,040 --> 01:29:08,769
He's got a... He's bald!
1948
01:29:08,920 --> 01:29:10,439
I got a wild one!
1949
01:29:10,440 --> 01:29:12,204
I got a wild one!
Whoo hoo hoo!
1950
01:29:14,080 --> 01:29:15,759
Noogie, noogie, noogie.
1951
01:29:15,760 --> 01:29:17,808
Nobody noogies my brother!
1952
01:29:19,680 --> 01:29:22,081
My brain! My brain!
1953
01:29:28,560 --> 01:29:30,119
Hey, man! I had that one.
1954
01:29:30,120 --> 01:29:31,799
I know you did, big brother.
1955
01:29:31,800 --> 01:29:32,839
Get out of here!
1956
01:29:32,840 --> 01:29:33,841
Don't hit me!
1957
01:29:33,960 --> 01:29:36,959
Hey, hey, look who showed up.
1958
01:29:36,960 --> 01:29:39,930
Flippy-boy. Yeah, you want to
flip your way out of this?
1959
01:29:41,280 --> 01:29:42,799
Too slow, old man.
1960
01:29:42,800 --> 01:29:44,131
Where you work out, Cinnabon?
1961
01:29:47,280 --> 01:29:48,639
Look who's back up, baby.
1962
01:29:48,640 --> 01:29:50,719
I didn't know we were kicking.
Give me a second to stretch.
1963
01:29:50,720 --> 01:29:52,079
All right.
1964
01:29:52,080 --> 01:29:53,599
We're gonna
throw some legs, huh?
1965
01:29:53,600 --> 01:29:55,284
You want to
throw some legs, huh?
1966
01:29:57,280 --> 01:29:59,199
Boom!
1967
01:29:59,200 --> 01:30:00,929
That just happened.
1968
01:30:01,720 --> 01:30:04,087
What,
were you raised by ninjas?
1969
01:30:05,560 --> 01:30:07,319
Congratulations.
1970
01:30:07,320 --> 01:30:08,399
You won the fight.
1971
01:30:08,400 --> 01:30:09,401
Here's your prize.
1972
01:30:10,000 --> 01:30:11,079
Aw!
1973
01:30:11,080 --> 01:30:14,368
Thanks, little girl.
It looks just like you.
1974
01:30:17,000 --> 01:30:18,684
It's a monkey!
1975
01:30:19,160 --> 01:30:20,359
Look at me!
1976
01:30:20,360 --> 01:30:23,330
I'm a stupid little monkey.
1977
01:30:27,400 --> 01:30:29,801
Good night.
1978
01:30:32,480 --> 01:30:34,719
Come on, guys!
We got to get out!
1979
01:30:34,720 --> 01:30:36,085
Let's go!
1980
01:30:38,120 --> 01:30:39,959
Lenny! Baby.
1981
01:30:39,960 --> 01:30:42,040
Baby, are you all right?
I'm coming for you, Leonard!
1982
01:30:43,360 --> 01:30:46,319
I'm here for you, Leonard.
I'm here for you.
1983
01:30:46,320 --> 01:30:48,359
Who... Who are you?
1984
01:30:48,360 --> 01:30:49,885
It's your pretty, shiny Penny.
1985
01:30:51,880 --> 01:30:54,451
Oops, sorry,
I kicked your barrette.
1986
01:30:58,240 --> 01:31:00,402
Sorry, honey!
1987
01:31:02,360 --> 01:31:05,599
You guys were Fuji
and Tanaka out there.
1988
01:31:05,600 --> 01:31:07,079
This is just like high school.
1989
01:31:07,080 --> 01:31:11,039
Get drunk, get in a fight, wind up
back at Lamonsoff's, eating eggs.
1990
01:31:11,040 --> 01:31:13,042
Except for
the drunk part, Mommy.
1991
01:31:13,320 --> 01:31:14,321
Oh.
1992
01:31:15,360 --> 01:31:19,046
Oh, all you guys together
brings back so many memories.
1993
01:31:19,560 --> 01:31:20,846
Whoa, Dickie,
is this you and Lenny?
1994
01:31:20,960 --> 01:31:22,246
Let's see.
1995
01:31:22,360 --> 01:31:24,599
Yeah, me and Hollywood were
best friends in kindergarten.
1996
01:31:24,600 --> 01:31:25,886
Yep.
What happened?
1997
01:31:26,000 --> 01:31:28,559
What do you mean, "What happened?"
We were in different classes.
1998
01:31:28,560 --> 01:31:29,800
We kind of
drifted apart, right?
1999
01:31:29,920 --> 01:31:32,159
Yeah. He was in
those smart classes.
2000
01:31:32,160 --> 01:31:33,719
I was in the other classes.
2001
01:31:36,280 --> 01:31:37,645
Hey, who's this guy?
2002
01:31:37,760 --> 01:31:39,603
- Anybody remember him?
- Who is that?
2003
01:31:39,720 --> 01:31:40,919
Wow, what happened to that kid?
2004
01:31:40,920 --> 01:31:42,160
He's still here.
2005
01:31:45,520 --> 01:31:47,959
Why do I know my new kid's gonna
end up looking like that?
2006
01:31:47,960 --> 01:31:49,086
You're having a baby, Lenny?
2007
01:31:49,200 --> 01:31:50,326
Yeah.
2008
01:31:50,440 --> 01:31:51,930
Yeah, so I'm told,
Mrs. Lamonsoff.
2009
01:31:52,080 --> 01:31:53,799
Oh, a surprise, huh?
2010
01:31:53,800 --> 01:31:55,165
Yes.
2011
01:31:55,280 --> 01:31:58,919
People today try to
plan things out so much.
2012
01:31:58,920 --> 01:32:02,199
But don't think an unexpected
child is loved any less
2013
01:32:02,200 --> 01:32:04,441
than one you planned for.
2014
01:32:05,080 --> 01:32:06,730
Someday, Lenny,
you won't even remember
2015
01:32:06,840 --> 01:32:08,560
what life was like
with just three children.
2016
01:32:09,960 --> 01:32:11,803
You think we wanted Eric?
2017
01:32:11,920 --> 01:32:13,479
He was an accident.
Mama.
2018
01:32:13,480 --> 01:32:16,679
His father and I were in the
men's room at a Patriots game...
2019
01:32:16,680 --> 01:32:18,919
You know what, I think I'm
just gonna turn the page here.
2020
01:32:18,920 --> 01:32:21,079
I'm turning the page.
2021
01:32:21,080 --> 01:32:22,525
Finish the story!
2022
01:32:33,000 --> 01:32:36,239
Officer Dante's
passed out on our lawn.
2023
01:32:36,240 --> 01:32:39,839
I know. I saw him
trying to arrest an anthill.
2024
01:32:42,840 --> 01:32:44,922
Want to talk about
the whole pregnancy thing?
2025
01:32:47,040 --> 01:32:48,159
Mmm.
2026
01:32:48,160 --> 01:32:50,079
It's okay.
We'll talk tomorrow.
2027
01:32:50,080 --> 01:32:51,399
Okay.
2028
01:32:51,400 --> 01:32:54,722
Okay, you go to sleep. I'll make
this between me and the baby.
2029
01:33:02,160 --> 01:33:04,162
Hello in there.
2030
01:33:04,560 --> 01:33:06,210
This is your daddy speaking.
2031
01:33:08,040 --> 01:33:11,399
I just want to tell you
welcome to the family,
2032
01:33:11,400 --> 01:33:14,847
and I love you very,
very, very much.
2033
01:33:15,160 --> 01:33:19,006
I really don't care if
you're a boy or girl.
2034
01:33:19,960 --> 01:33:22,930
I just need you to
promise me one thing.
2035
01:33:23,360 --> 01:33:27,239
When you're in elementary
school, study ballet,
2036
01:33:27,240 --> 01:33:29,925
so I can see that teacher
as much as possible.
2037
01:33:30,320 --> 01:33:31,359
Hey.
2038
01:33:31,360 --> 01:33:33,283
I knew that was coming.
2039
01:33:35,200 --> 01:33:38,727
To be honest, I don't need
no stinking ballet teacher.
2040
01:33:39,040 --> 01:33:41,919
I'm married to the most
beautiful woman in the world,
2041
01:33:41,920 --> 01:33:43,206
your mommy.
2042
01:33:43,880 --> 01:33:45,530
Are you saying
sweet things to me
2043
01:33:45,680 --> 01:33:47,364
because you want
to fool around?
2044
01:33:47,640 --> 01:33:50,405
That would be a nice way
to kick off the summer.
2045
01:33:50,520 --> 01:33:53,649
Okay, Mr. Romantic.
2046
01:33:54,000 --> 01:33:55,839
But let's do this quick,
2047
01:33:55,840 --> 01:33:57,759
we have a big
day tomorrow, okay?
2048
01:33:57,760 --> 01:33:59,039
Absolutely.
2049
01:33:59,040 --> 01:34:00,804
Watch your head in there.
2050
01:34:04,080 --> 01:34:05,081
Whoo!
2051
01:34:06,960 --> 01:34:09,359
Hang on.
Hang on. I'm sorry, honey.
2052
01:34:09,360 --> 01:34:12,569
Don't move. Don't move.
Oh, my God, I'm going to!
2053
01:34:15,080 --> 01:34:19,722
I did it! I burpsnarted! Yes!
2054
01:34:19,840 --> 01:34:21,559
Lenny, grow up!
2055
01:34:21,560 --> 01:34:23,927
I did it for the baby!