1
00:00:14,648 --> 00:00:15,783
(GUNSHOTS)

2
00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:23,023
(MAN SPEAKING SPANISH)

3
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,625
(GUNSHOTS)

4
00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:35,569
* God bless America again

5
00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:43,744
* You see all the troubles
that she's in

6
00:00:46,814 --> 00:00:50,551
* Wash her pretty face

7
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:54,722
* Dry her eyes and then... *

8
00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:58,259
She's a real beauty, huh?
Yep, a real beaut.

9
00:00:58,259 --> 00:01:01,295
This car is for you.
Now, let me guess.

10
00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:03,297
The man of the house
needs a second car

11
00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:05,533
so the little lady
can go to the garden club

12
00:01:05,533 --> 00:01:08,436
while he plays gin rummy
with the boys, huh?

13
00:01:08,436 --> 00:01:11,439
Oh. Actually, we need a car
so we can go rock climbing.

14
00:01:11,439 --> 00:01:14,074
Rock climbing?
Why would anybody
go climb a rock?

15
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,509
Man, things are changing.

16
00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:18,646
I remember when men were men
and women were gals

17
00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:20,514
and we'd call coloreds,
coloreds.

18
00:01:20,514 --> 00:01:22,650
You know, actually,
I think we're gonna get going.

19
00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:24,452
Hey, come on,
sweetie, don't be a bitch.

20
00:01:24,452 --> 00:01:25,953
Let's talk some numbers here.

21
00:01:25,953 --> 00:01:28,156
Hey, hey, hey, don't talk
to my wife like that.

22
00:01:28,156 --> 00:01:33,127
Hey, boy, I fought
in the big war. I mean,
nobody tells me what to do.

23
00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:34,828
You understand?
Hold this.

24
00:01:36,297 --> 00:01:37,998
Oh, my God.

25
00:01:37,998 --> 00:01:40,301
Audie Murphy, motherfucker.

26
00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:44,472
Somebody get
Dick Lewiston
off the lot.

27
00:01:44,472 --> 00:01:47,375
What's it matter anyways,
Mr. Selleck?
No one's selling anything.

28
00:01:47,375 --> 00:01:48,742
It's a damn killing
field out there.

29
00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:51,812
Mr. Selleck,
I think I made a sale.

30
00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:54,047
Terrific. Good job, Teddy.

31
00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:55,416
And he wants to pay in cash,

32
00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:56,684
non-sequential unmarked bills

33
00:01:56,684 --> 00:01:58,152
neatly packed
in this canvas bag.

34
00:01:58,152 --> 00:01:59,887
Well, that's
a bank bag, Teddy.

35
00:01:59,887 --> 00:02:01,222
(SCREAMING)

36
00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:06,327
My eyes. My eyes. My LASIK.

37
00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:07,761
Oh, shit. Somebody
call the cops.

38
00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:09,797
TEDDY: It burns!
Teddy, go flush your eyes out.

39
00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:12,200
I feel like a Smurf
just jizzed in my face.

40
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,168
We got to do something.

41
00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:15,769
I've had this lot 27 years,

42
00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:18,071
and it's dying
right before my eyes.

43
00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:20,941
We either do something
drastic, or we pull the plug.

44
00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:24,712
I'm thinking about
calling a hotshot,
a weekend warrior.

45
00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:27,815
I was thinking about
calling a mercenary.

46
00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:29,183
What?

47
00:02:30,718 --> 00:02:31,952
A mercenary?

48
00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:34,422
Hell, Zooha,
I got no choice.

49
00:02:34,422 --> 00:02:38,025
The bank's crawling up my ass
for back payments.

50
00:02:38,025 --> 00:02:40,461
If we don't turn this thing
around by August,

51
00:02:40,461 --> 00:02:42,630
this place is gonna be a TCBY.

52
00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:44,265
But a mercenary?

53
00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:45,733
All they do is sell cars
and move on.

54
00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:48,636
There's no connection
to the community, Ben.

55
00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:51,405
Don't do this.
It hasn't gotten
that bad, has it?

56
00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:55,309
Please, God, forgive me
for what I'm about to do.

57
00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:07,921
By the way, great sale.

58
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:09,122
Hear, hear.

59
00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:10,758
Oh, very good.

60
00:03:12,059 --> 00:03:14,928
Thank you, darling.
I don't know why,

61
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:16,597
but I can't enjoy breakfast
anywhere but a strip club.

62
00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:19,166
My mom used to always
cook bacon naked.

63
00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:21,034
She would cook bacon
all day long.

64
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,870
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

65
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:28,075
Don "The Goods" Ready.
Yes. Yeah.

66
00:03:28,075 --> 00:03:29,410
Mmm-hmm.

67
00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:32,112
You want some cars sold.
We'll be there.

68
00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:36,317
Fourth of July weekend,
three-day sale. We got
a dealership in the ICU.

69
00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:39,119
Two hundred and eleven cars
getting suntans on the lot.

70
00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:42,923
Guess what, fellas?
We're going to Temecula.

71
00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:44,458
Oh, fuck, Don.

72
00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:46,894
Honey, we just finished
the last job three hours ago.

73
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,296
I still smell like customer.

74
00:03:48,296 --> 00:03:49,930
Don, I don't mean to complain,

75
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:53,100
but it's been a year and a half
since I've been home.

76
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:56,036
And I'm 90% sure
I left my front door open.

77
00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:58,372
I don't know, Don.
I think we sit this one out.

78
00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:00,774
You've been pushing us
pretty hard since 'Querque.

79
00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:03,711
Forget about 'Querque,
all right?

80
00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:05,446
What do we do? We sell cars.

81
00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:08,048
What does a tiger do?
Hunts and kills prey.

82
00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:09,850
What else are we gonna do
in this life?

83
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,752
I need every swinging dick
in that field.

84
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:14,588
Babs, come on.
Let's do it.

85
00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:26,834
All right. We are headed
to Temecula, California.

86
00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:28,436
Population 98,000.

87
00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:32,740
It's a family business. Owner,
one Benjamin K. Selleck.

88
00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:35,309
Married 30 years
to wife, Tammy.

89
00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:38,312
One daughter, Ivy, age 29,
looks good in beat-up jeans.

90
00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:40,213
DON: Yes, she does.

91
00:04:40,213 --> 00:04:42,383
One son named Peter, age 10,

92
00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:44,952
loves robot dinosaurs
and pizza night.

93
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:47,655
Looks like 10-year-old Peter
got a five o'clock shadow.

94
00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:49,790
Yeah, it must be the fax ink.

95
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:53,661
God bless the Hacienda Court,
but their fax service...

96
00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:55,128
What are you doing, honey?

97
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,464
Enjoying myself.

98
00:04:57,765 --> 00:05:00,468
Oh! Sir, there's no smoking
on airplanes.

99
00:05:00,468 --> 00:05:04,805
I know. It's ridiculous,
isn't it? Don't worry
about it, I'll be quick.

100
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,908
Sir, if you light that,
I'll have to report you
to the FAA.

101
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:12,580
Stacey, do you know when
the first commercial
flight went smokeless?

102
00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:15,315
No.
1973.

103
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,950
And did you know that in 1969,

104
00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:19,487
when smoking was allowed
on all flights,

105
00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:21,489
we put a man on the moon?

106
00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:23,924
I had no idea.

107
00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:26,660
Look.

108
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,529
You know what that is?

109
00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:33,467
That's a remnant
of a better time,
but they welded it shut.

110
00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:35,369
And it starts with ashtrays,

111
00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:40,874
and it ends with all of
our precious freedoms
being stripped away.

112
00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:43,877
Hmm. I remember
back in the day
when you got on a plane

113
00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:46,079
and you knew you were in
for a good time.

114
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,681
A little smoking,
a little drinking.

115
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,451
Yeah.
And the stewardesses.

116
00:05:50,451 --> 00:05:56,289
Stacey, you come
from a proud tradition
of blazing hot stewardesses.

117
00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:57,791
(CHUCKLES)

118
00:05:57,791 --> 00:06:00,394
And now you can't
do one damn thing

119
00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:04,398
without someone reporting you
to the Department of
Homeland Security.

120
00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:05,799
Am I right?
JIBBY: That's right.

121
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:06,967
BRENT:
You listen to Don.

122
00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:08,569
DON:
I had to take my pants off

123
00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:10,704
and nibble my Old Spice
down to three ounces

124
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,072
just to get on the plane,
Stacey.

125
00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:13,874
They made me throw out
my mouthwash.

126
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,609
I had to give up
my bath jellies.

127
00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:17,611
They made me breastfeed
some old man.

128
00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:18,912
That's what I'm talking about.

129
00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:20,881
But we don't have
to take it, Stacey.

130
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,916
Like Henry David Thoreau
and Rosa Parks

131
00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:25,385
and David Lee Roth
when he left Van Halen,

132
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:28,055
we can say, "Enough.
Enough injustice."

133
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:31,191
And when you and I
are old and gray,
we can look back on this

134
00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:34,695
and remember when
we were 30,000 feet
above God's green earth,

135
00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:39,299
and we smoked one,
we smoked one for America.

136
00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:40,834
(ALL CHEERING)
Yeah.

137
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,942
You motherfucker.

138
00:06:49,877 --> 00:06:51,512
MAN: Nice work. Nice work.

139
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:53,881
Who are you?

140
00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:58,085
I'm Don Ready,
and I got the goods.

141
00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:05,493
This is some killer kush.

142
00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:14,334
Nun pops her head out
and says, "Shit.
Guess I got to gargle."

143
00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:16,336
(ALL LAUGHING)

144
00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:20,874
Poor Don. It's like everything
he does is to make him
forget about 'Querque.

145
00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:24,812
Takes a lot of pain
to sell cars the way
that man does.

146
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:31,652
(DIRTY RED PLAYING)

147
00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:38,759
* I said, "Girl,
what's your name?

148
00:07:40,528 --> 00:07:45,533
* "I heard about you
and all your little
itty-bitty games" *

149
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,069
You're here from
Selleck Motors?

150
00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:50,738
No, but my dad is.

151
00:07:50,738 --> 00:07:53,040
You're supposed to put the name
of the party you're picking up,

152
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,042
not your own.
I love the drawing, though.

153
00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:57,244
Yeah, I'm a really
good drawer.

154
00:07:57,244 --> 00:07:59,212
I like to draw stomach
muscles the most.

155
00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:02,983
I can also draw
Darth Vader's helmet.
I can also draw him.

156
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:07,254
I can draw a saber,
a lightsaber or
a regular sword.

157
00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:08,722
It doesn't even matter.

158
00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:12,092
What the fuck is wrong
with you? Are you drunk?

159
00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:15,262
Are you retarded?
Because we're here
to help you.

160
00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:20,834
Don't move. Dad,
Amber Alert! Adult!

161
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:24,838
Stranger danger!
Stranger danger! Dad!

162
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:27,407
Here, relax, Peter,
okay? Take a swig.

163
00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:30,778
It looks like it
wasn't the fax ink.
He's some sort of man-child.

164
00:08:30,778 --> 00:08:32,746
It's a pituitary problem,
ma'am.

165
00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:36,449
He's 10, in the developing
body of an adult.

166
00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:40,520
I'm sorry, buddy.
I am totally sorry.
Put it up here. High five.

167
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,256
Good effort there.
You must be Ben.
I'm Don Ready.

168
00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:45,458
BEN: That's me.
And this must be Ivy.

169
00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:50,898
Wow! Can I ask you a quick
question? How much does
a polar bear weigh?

170
00:08:50,898 --> 00:08:52,833
No idea.
Enough to break the ice.

171
00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:54,668
Don Ready. How are you?
Wow.

172
00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:56,503
Went old-school with you.
Impressive.

173
00:08:56,503 --> 00:09:00,841
I'm Babs. And, yes,
the rug matches the drapes.

174
00:09:00,841 --> 00:09:03,376
And this beautiful man
is Jibby.

175
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:04,712
Hi.
What's up?

176
00:09:04,712 --> 00:09:06,246
And who is this guy?

177
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:08,448
Well, you are
a strapping young man.

178
00:09:08,448 --> 00:09:09,683
Brent Gage, sir.

179
00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:12,452
Brent Gage, now that
is a strong name.

180
00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:16,690
I don't know why,
but right off the bat,
I like you a lot.

181
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,126
What's going on?

182
00:09:19,126 --> 00:09:21,595
Peter, let's help the crew
with their luggage.

183
00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:26,433
Awesome. Hold this,
Dad. Transformer.

184
00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:27,434
(PETER MAKING ROBOT SOUNDS)

185
00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:29,703
Cute, isn't he?

186
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:31,104
I'd fuck him.

187
00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:34,107
Hey, what is wrong with you,
lady? He is a child.

188
00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:35,743
We're only gonna be here
for three days,

189
00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:37,077
so try not to fall
in love with me.

190
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,879
I'm sorry, has a girl
ever bought that?

191
00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:40,413
I'm just, you know,
buckshot approach.

192
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,382
I'm just gonna keep firing
till I hit something.

193
00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:43,951
(LAUGHING)
Oh, that's delightful.

194
00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:48,856
So, there was a kid up
the street, Chris Bamberger,

195
00:09:48,856 --> 00:09:52,793
had one of those brand-new,
tricked out Krazy Kruisers.

196
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:55,663
Side brakes, streamers off
the handle grips.

197
00:09:55,663 --> 00:09:57,464
In other words, fully loaded.

198
00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:59,466
What am I driving?

199
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:01,869
A fucking Hoppity Hip.

200
00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:04,604
Basically a balloon
with a handle on it.

201
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,907
It might as well have had
a bumper sticker on
the back that said,

202
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:08,642
"My parents don't work."

203
00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:12,880
So I walk up to him,
hop up to him.
I introduce myself,

204
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,215
and I say,
"You seem like a cool guy."

205
00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:17,017
"Why don't you
have a Hoppity Hip?"

206
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:20,353
You know? I tell him
it's faster, it's cooler.

207
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:24,658
It's got the finger-molded
hand grip, double-enforced
bouncing axis.

208
00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:28,729
I work this kid like
a pro. Walked him
through the brochures.

209
00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:30,630
Offered him
a bubble gum cigarette.

210
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:34,101
Even threw in
some night crawlers
to sweeten the deal.

211
00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:36,136
Bottom line is,
this kid was actually happy

212
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,105
to bounce around
on the balloon,

213
00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:43,043
while I rode away
on his brand-new,
tricked-out chopper.

214
00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:47,080
I like to think that
was my first sale.

215
00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:03,797
Right over there
is Selleck Motors.

216
00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:07,067
I thought you might
want to take a look.

217
00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:13,974
BRENT: Jesus, Ben,
looks like a refugee
camp for dirty men.

218
00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:17,978
Looks like the bus station
in Total Recall.

219
00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:21,949
We're gonna fix
your place up, Ben.

220
00:11:21,949 --> 00:11:23,917
We're gonna get you
a Creatable Inflatable,

221
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:26,787
goddamn American flag,
balloons, all that shit.

222
00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:28,856
Plus, we need a radio
and TV blitz,

223
00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:31,925
and we're gonna need to
round up a celebrity to
make a lot appearance.

224
00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:33,293
I know just who to call.

225
00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:36,096
Now, let's hit
the Hacienda Courts,

226
00:11:36,096 --> 00:11:38,398
or as I like to call it, home.

227
00:11:56,616 --> 00:12:01,154
BRENT: I mean, I paid for it.
It'd be disrespectful
not to masturbate.

228
00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:07,594
BABS: All right, let's keep
this anonymous. Don't look
at me. Don't look at me.

229
00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:09,162
Don't even...
Don't you look at me.

230
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,265
JIBBY: Yeah!

231
00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:13,533
Dawson's Creek.

232
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:16,069
James Van Der Beek, my nigger.

233
00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:19,639
(PETER MAKING ROBOT SOUNDS)

234
00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:23,143
Okay, Peter,
it's time to go sit
in your big chair.

235
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:27,614
Now, everybody dig in.
Don't be shy.

236
00:12:27,614 --> 00:12:29,082
DON: I'm sorry, Mrs. Selleck.

237
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:31,051
I'm one of those rare birds
that prefers takeout

238
00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:32,786
over a home-cooked meal.

239
00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:35,155
Ah!
Well, I got to tell you, Don,

240
00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:37,357
that is flat-out
weird and rude.

241
00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:39,426
But you do what
you need to do.

242
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:44,197
You know, Mr. Don Ready,
our Ivy here actually
left graduate school

243
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:46,599
to come back and help us out
with little Peter.

244
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,501
DON: Wow.
That's the kind of girl she is.

245
00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:51,571
You can take the girl
out of Temecula, but...

246
00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:53,606
Hey, Brent.

247
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:56,143
You see my wife over there?

248
00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:58,045
Yeah.
(LAUGHING)

249
00:12:58,045 --> 00:13:01,148
It is a dead marriage.

250
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:03,350
But, you know,
you learn to live with it.

251
00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:10,223
You drive around,
out at night,
windows down, music up.

252
00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:14,027
Some people call it cruising.

253
00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:18,065
Me, I call it looking
for a friend.

254
00:13:18,065 --> 00:13:19,566
Are you my friend, Brent?

255
00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:20,733
No.

256
00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:22,269
So tomorrow morning,

257
00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:24,171
our troops will rendezvous
with your troops at 0700,

258
00:13:24,171 --> 00:13:26,706
and then I'll hit the floor
for my intro speech,

259
00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:29,009
like a mountain lion pouncing
on an unsuspecting jogger.

260
00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:31,078
Ooh!
Make sure your underwear

261
00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:33,914
is tight tomorrow,
because you will have a boner.

262
00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:35,382
(EXCLAIMING)

263
00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:38,618
Amen.

264
00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:41,588
I like the sound of that.
Right, Brent?

265
00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:44,424
By Tuesday, my friend,
you are back in the black.

266
00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:45,893
Well, hear, hear.

267
00:13:45,893 --> 00:13:47,427
Okay, Mr. Ready,

268
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,963
this business has been in
our family for 40 years,

269
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:51,798
so no sleazy stuff, okay?

270
00:13:51,798 --> 00:13:53,500
Don't worry about it, darling.
We're not gonna break the rules.

271
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,368
We're just gonna bend them
a little bit.

272
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:57,938
Okay, okay. I just...
I know your type.

273
00:13:57,938 --> 00:14:01,208
You know, it's all the thrill
of the hunt. I get it.

274
00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:04,277
I mean, you crave it.
You corner it.

275
00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:06,546
But, Mr. Ready,
let me ask you a question.

276
00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:08,916
Do you know what to do
when you catch it?

277
00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:14,621
Are we talking about pussy?

278
00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:16,389
(COUGHING)
TAMMY: Oh, my stars. You didn't.

279
00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:18,458
That's what she was saying.
TAMMY: Oh, my goodness!

280
00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:20,827
I'm sorry, I apologize.
I'm a Christian man,

281
00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:23,296
or whatever religion dominates
the region that I'm selling in,

282
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:24,797
but you have to admit,
it did sound like

283
00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:27,300
she was talking about
the big vajayjay, right?

284
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:28,368
Didn't it?
JIBBY: Amen.

285
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,270
I guess it kind of did. Yeah.

286
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:33,706
Hey, come on, man.

287
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:37,144
Jibby was a pro bowler
for two years on the tour.

288
00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:38,511
Got a lot of great stories.

289
00:14:38,511 --> 00:14:41,748
Well, what can I say?
It was the go-go '80s,

290
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:47,454
the height of professional
bowling, girls, limos,
wristbands.

291
00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:51,258
Ivy, I think you got
the wrong impression
of me earlier.

292
00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:53,360
I'm a really sensitive
person, all right?

293
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:56,663
For instance, I'm not
a texter. I'd rather
hear your voice, you know.

294
00:14:56,663 --> 00:14:58,798
Hey, everybody,
I'm Ivy's fiance.

295
00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:00,433
TAMMY: Look who's here.

296
00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:03,370
Paxton, such a weird thing to
say when you enter a room.

297
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:05,705
Well, I'm just letting
everybody know the deal.

298
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:09,242
Well, I am Paxton Harding
of Harding Imports.

299
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:14,647
And you must be the guys
who are going to save
Ben Selleck Motors.

300
00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:16,249
Yeah. That's the idea.

301
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:18,818
I didn't catch
your name, friend.

302
00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:21,321
That's because
I didn't give it
to you, friend.

303
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:25,725
Mmm. Well, a couple of friends
ought to know each other's
names, right?

304
00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:28,028
My name's Don Ready.

305
00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:30,930
All right. I guess I won that
little exchange.

306
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,665
You fell for it.

307
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:35,168
In fact, let me be the first
to tell you guys, good luck.

308
00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:37,904
Everyone at Harding Imports
and every dealership
in this town

309
00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:39,372
is rooting for you guys.

310
00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:43,043
You got a Harding guarantee
on that. I swear to God.

311
00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:45,212
I'm off to rehearsal.

312
00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:48,215
All right? I want to give
my two ladies a kiss
on the cheek.

313
00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:51,084
You are so sweet.

314
00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:52,419
You know, Paxton here

315
00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:55,022
is in one of those popular bands
in Temecula,

316
00:15:55,022 --> 00:15:56,289
Balls Out.

317
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:57,890
No, Big Ups.
Big Ups. Sorry.

318
00:15:57,890 --> 00:15:59,526
Either way.

319
00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:01,228
(ALL LAUGHING)

320
00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:02,629
Big Ups is the name
of the band.

321
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,397
It's me and Ricky
and Jason, and we...

322
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,299
You know, we sing about life
and love and passion,

323
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:10,970
and I'm not gonna lie
to you, we have some
pretty sick dance moves.

324
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,772
Are you in a boy band?

325
00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:14,474
No, I'm in a man band.

326
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:16,276
We're all over 30,
we call it a man band.

327
00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:18,478
You're men in a boy band.

328
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:21,081
We opened for O-Town,
right here in Temecula, okay?

329
00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:22,849
Google it.
No.

330
00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:24,617
Google it.
No.

331
00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:26,519
Why wouldn't you google it?
I just told you to google it.

332
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:28,688
Google "Big Ups."
You know, I googled it.

333
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:29,922
It said you fucking blow.

334
00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:31,324
(ALL LAUGHING)

335
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,226
That was O-Town's website.

336
00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:36,763
You know what?
I'm rising above this.

337
00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:41,101
While you guys are yukking
it up, I'm gonna go
rehearse with Big Ups.

338
00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:43,403
Ricky and Jason are
in the car. Let's go.

339
00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:45,572
All right, bye-bye.
See you all tomorrow.

340
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:47,074
JIBBY: Man, that dude
is garbage.

341
00:16:47,074 --> 00:16:49,442
(BRENT EXCLAIMS)
BRENT: What a jerk.

342
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:51,511
Who wants a big
hunk of this meat, hmm?

343
00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:58,385
Hey, guys.

344
00:16:58,385 --> 00:17:00,587
A couple guys came in here
earlier looking for Vanessa,

345
00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:02,989
and I got a little bit
of bad news for you,
Vanessa is dead.

346
00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:04,824
Here's Radio Moscow.

347
00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:08,027
It's funny, I haven't been in
Temecula in, what, 23 years.

348
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,696
Last time I was here,

349
00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:13,133
I spent two straight days
in a Hacienda Courts

350
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,768
with the third runner-up
to Miss Temecula.

351
00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:17,137
Never saw her again.

352
00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:19,206
Hey, what do you make
of this Selleck guy?

353
00:17:19,206 --> 00:17:20,840
I got to be honest with you,

354
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:23,610
have you noticed him saying
overtly sexual things to me?

355
00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:24,811
Touching me?

356
00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:26,179
I haven't.

357
00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:28,848
Oh! That is disgusting.

358
00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:31,751
But don't get me wrong,
I have an erection.

359
00:17:31,751 --> 00:17:33,153
Babs?
Mmm-hmm.

360
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:36,256
Can I tell you a deep,
dark secret

361
00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:38,191
I ain't never
told anyone before?

362
00:17:38,191 --> 00:17:41,361
Baby, I really would rather
you not. I'm tired.

363
00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:43,430
I'm 42 years old,

364
00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:48,768
and I ain't never, ever
made love to a woman.

365
00:17:48,768 --> 00:17:49,969
You're a virgin?

366
00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:51,371
Hell, no.
Oh.

367
00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:53,106
No, I've been with hundreds
of women,

368
00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:54,707
maybe thousands.

369
00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:58,178
I just ain't never really
ever made love to a woman.

370
00:17:58,178 --> 00:18:01,281
You know, I've done
three ways, four ways,

371
00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:04,217
menage a trois,
menage cinq, six.

372
00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:09,422
I've 69ed, 89ed, 114ed.

373
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:13,560
Golden, diamond and platinum
showers. I like that.

374
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:16,463
I mean, I've ripped shit up.

375
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,199
Done all that.

376
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:24,137
But I ain't never, ever
made love to a woman.

377
00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:26,606
You will, Jibby.

378
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:29,609
As long as we're being honest,

379
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,978
I've something I want
to share with you.

380
00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:35,548
I think I want to make love
to a 10-year-old boy.

381
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:37,317
What?

382
00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:38,951
But he's in the body
of a 30-year-old man,

383
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,487
so who's to blame?

384
00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:42,989
You the adult.
Right.

385
00:18:42,989 --> 00:18:45,425
You'd be the one to blame.

386
00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:49,396
BRENT: Hey, Babs. Hey, Jibby.

387
00:18:49,396 --> 00:18:51,631
Hey, Don, there are three
hot dancers over there.

388
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:53,466
I think they might
be good for the sale.

389
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:56,369
Yeah, sign them up. Good energy,
make the customers happy.

390
00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:58,605
Hey, guys, get those food
orders in quickly,

391
00:18:58,605 --> 00:19:02,409
'cause in 25 minutes
the kitchen is rented
out for a porno shoot.

392
00:19:02,409 --> 00:19:05,111
Are you disgusted? I am.

393
00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:06,479
Book the DJ.

394
00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:10,116
You sure, Don? I just thought
after 'Querque...

395
00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:12,785
Hey. 'Querque was 'Querque.
This is this.

396
00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:15,922
It's time for all of us to move
on, all right?

397
00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:18,191
And it starts
with booking that DJ.

398
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:28,268
Where is he? I even wore
my tight underwear
for the boner speech.

399
00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:30,370
Just relax, honey.
He's getting ready.

400
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:33,139
As for the underwear,
I think it was
just an expression.

401
00:19:33,139 --> 00:19:34,507
Look, I may be old-fashioned,

402
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:35,975
but the man says,
"Wear your boner pants,"

403
00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:37,610
I wear my boner pants.

404
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:41,281
You can do this.
You are a winner.

405
00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:42,949
Don Ready has
the heart of a champion.

406
00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:44,484
I'm a fucking stallion.

407
00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:46,386
I should be owned by a
goddamn Middle Eastern sheikh.

408
00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:49,989
There's almost no doubt
you invented the phrase,
"It's all good."

409
00:19:49,989 --> 00:19:53,860
In the schoolyard, a Don Ready
is a euphemism for a hard-on.

410
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:56,863
All right, fellas,
everybody gather around.

411
00:19:58,431 --> 00:20:00,867
Now, you all know the deal.
Over the next few days,

412
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:03,836
Don Ready and his team
will be overseeing sales.

413
00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:07,006
Basically, they will be
your boss for the weekend.

414
00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:11,644
Now, I trust them.
And if you trust them,
together we will sell cars.

415
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:14,347
You were the first person
to wear a Von Dutch trucker hat.

416
00:20:14,347 --> 00:20:15,848
I really regret that.

417
00:20:15,848 --> 00:20:17,183
As well you should.

418
00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:20,320
Mmm. Look at my husband.
Looks like he's got a Don Ready.

419
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,221
Give me a minute.

420
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:32,031
I'm Babs Merrick.
I'm gonna tell you
people a little story.

421
00:20:32,031 --> 00:20:36,369
A story about a girl who
grew up in the worst part
of the South Bronx.

422
00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:41,408
Well, one day,
this little girl fell in love
with a boxer named Winston.

423
00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:44,844
But their love was
too good to last,

424
00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:47,880
and one day, the Vice Lords
came a-calling,

425
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:53,019
saying, "Winston,
it's time to take a dive."

426
00:20:53,019 --> 00:20:55,955
Coroner found two bullets
in his heart.

427
00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:59,025
One of them was meant
for this little girl.

428
00:20:59,025 --> 00:21:03,396
* It's a hard world, mama
You got to push on through

429
00:21:03,396 --> 00:21:05,197
* 'Cause life in the ghetto *

430
00:21:05,197 --> 00:21:09,135
Well, everyone told this
little girl to shut her
mouth and go away.

431
00:21:09,135 --> 00:21:11,604
But she didn't do that.

432
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:14,273
She made sure every
single one of those
pieces of human trash

433
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,975
looked her straight
in the eye

434
00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:19,412
before she pulled the trigger
on that platinum .357 Magnum.

435
00:21:19,412 --> 00:21:20,880
Jose!

436
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:22,148
Pop!

437
00:21:22,148 --> 00:21:24,651
Ramon! Pop! Pop! Pop!

438
00:21:24,651 --> 00:21:27,320
* It ain't easy *

439
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:30,790
I got to tell
you people, on TV,

440
00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:34,093
they don't show the dead man
when the poop leaves the butt.

441
00:21:34,093 --> 00:21:38,465
Make no mistake, gentlemen,

442
00:21:38,465 --> 00:21:43,603
when you die, poop
leaves your butt.

443
00:21:44,671 --> 00:21:47,740
Man. That is a dark story.

444
00:21:47,740 --> 00:21:51,444
I know. I made it up.
Have a great sale, everybody.

445
00:21:51,444 --> 00:21:52,712
SALESMAN: What?
Great sale.

446
00:21:52,712 --> 00:21:54,914
JIBBY: * It ain't easy *

447
00:21:54,914 --> 00:21:58,017
It ain't easy.
I'm Brent Gage.

448
00:21:58,017 --> 00:22:02,121
They call me The Magician.
I am a wizard with numbers.

449
00:22:02,121 --> 00:22:07,494
I have never, never lost
a sale to bad credit.

450
00:22:07,494 --> 00:22:10,530
Quick story.
A couple years ago,
MC Hammer, remember him?

451
00:22:10,530 --> 00:22:13,065
He was in bankruptcy,
living on the street,

452
00:22:13,065 --> 00:22:15,502
sleeping in the left leg
of his Hammer pants.

453
00:22:15,502 --> 00:22:17,704
The next day,

454
00:22:17,704 --> 00:22:20,840
I financed that man a car,
no questions asked.

455
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:24,577
Hammer lived in that car
for the next year and a half.

456
00:22:24,577 --> 00:22:26,613
So you guys are
just taking over?

457
00:22:26,613 --> 00:22:30,483
With your cool nicknames
and your confidence?

458
00:22:30,483 --> 00:22:31,884
I mean, how are we
supposed to feel?

459
00:22:31,884 --> 00:22:34,521
Yeah, what about our sales?
Our commissions?

460
00:22:34,521 --> 00:22:35,888
DON: It's all good.

461
00:22:36,889 --> 00:22:38,591
I'm Don "The Goods" Ready.

462
00:22:38,591 --> 00:22:41,260
Everyone here told you
their story. Here's mine.

463
00:22:41,260 --> 00:22:46,466
I have hair on my balls
and I sell cars. The end.

464
00:22:46,466 --> 00:22:51,370
All right. Today,
tomorrow, Monday.

465
00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:56,075
It's July 4th weekend,
everybody, and we're
going to war, all right?

466
00:22:56,075 --> 00:22:58,645
When you guys are
deep in the shit,

467
00:22:58,645 --> 00:23:02,348
I want you to think
about the real heroes
of this Independence Day.

468
00:23:02,348 --> 00:23:06,819
The Revolutionary War soldier
who had his
gangrene foot sawed off,

469
00:23:06,819 --> 00:23:09,956
with nothing to numb the pain
except a shot of whiskey

470
00:23:09,956 --> 00:23:13,426
and that guy with
the weird headband
playing the flute.

471
00:23:13,426 --> 00:23:18,330
What about
Private Jones, huh?
Seventeen-year-old soldier.

472
00:23:18,330 --> 00:23:22,869
Got his guts shot out
in a 'Nam rice paddy.
All right?

473
00:23:22,869 --> 00:23:24,704
Dick here knows
what I'm talking about.

474
00:23:24,704 --> 00:23:28,441
He's talking about freedom,
you fucking queers!

475
00:23:30,176 --> 00:23:33,212
Don't even get me started
on Pearl Harbor.

476
00:23:33,212 --> 00:23:36,315
Our Navy boys out there
enjoying the bright
Hawaiian sun,

477
00:23:36,315 --> 00:23:41,420
when all of a sudden,
here comes the Japs
flying in low and fast.

478
00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:46,058
This dealership
is our battlefield.
Don't give up the fight.

479
00:23:46,058 --> 00:23:50,963
We are the Americans,
and they are the enemy.
Never again.

480
00:23:50,963 --> 00:23:52,999
Never again.

481
00:23:52,999 --> 00:23:54,734
Never again!

482
00:23:54,734 --> 00:23:58,037
ALL: Never again! Never again!

483
00:23:58,037 --> 00:24:01,307
Never again!
Let's get him!

484
00:24:01,307 --> 00:24:02,441
(TEDDY EXCLAIMS)

485
00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:03,543
(ALL YELLING)

486
00:24:03,543 --> 00:24:05,211
SALESMAN: Eat my shit!

487
00:24:05,211 --> 00:24:07,279
(GROWLING)

488
00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:09,015
Dad, don't you think
you should step in?

489
00:24:09,015 --> 00:24:12,118
No, he can take it.
He's squirrelly.

490
00:24:12,118 --> 00:24:13,886
Stop! All right, stop!

491
00:24:13,886 --> 00:24:15,622
Everyone, calm down!
Put him down, Jibby.

492
00:24:15,622 --> 00:24:17,223
(WHIMPERING)

493
00:24:17,223 --> 00:24:19,291
Okay, we have all just

494
00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:21,661
participated in a hate crime.

495
00:24:21,661 --> 00:24:24,931
Was it a hate crime
or a freedom crime?

496
00:24:24,931 --> 00:24:27,133
All right, everyone, just calm
down. Bottom line,

497
00:24:27,133 --> 00:24:29,135
we have all just committed
a federal offense.

498
00:24:29,135 --> 00:24:33,506
Which means that G-men
are gonna be crawling
all over this lot.

499
00:24:33,506 --> 00:24:36,743
Let's get our story straight.

500
00:24:36,743 --> 00:24:40,012
Dang came at us
with a samurai sword,

501
00:24:40,012 --> 00:24:43,415
fire extinguisher,
and Chinese throwing stars.

502
00:24:43,415 --> 00:24:45,217
ALL: Yeah.
That seems plausible.

503
00:24:45,217 --> 00:24:47,019
No, I did not.
No, I did not. I...

504
00:24:47,019 --> 00:24:50,156
We got to get a sword
and get his prints on it.

505
00:24:50,156 --> 00:24:51,891
TEDDY: There was no weaponry
of any kind!

506
00:24:51,891 --> 00:24:53,793
Okay, Dang, how about this?

507
00:24:53,793 --> 00:24:55,728
You get first dibs
on customer ups.

508
00:24:55,728 --> 00:24:57,930
In return, you agree to forget
all about

509
00:24:57,930 --> 00:25:00,232
being the victim
of a hate crime.

510
00:25:01,534 --> 00:25:02,935
Okay.

511
00:25:02,935 --> 00:25:05,304
That's it, Dang.
That's the guy we love.

512
00:25:05,304 --> 00:25:08,207
Thank you, Mr. Selleck.
I'm really sorry.

513
00:25:08,207 --> 00:25:10,442
I'm not even Japanese.
I'm Korean.

514
00:25:10,442 --> 00:25:12,444
Korean? Why didn't you say so?

515
00:25:12,444 --> 00:25:16,549
On that note, let's man
those battle stations,
everybody, all right?

516
00:25:16,549 --> 00:25:18,084
Never again.

517
00:25:18,084 --> 00:25:20,386
We got one hour. Let's get this
place in shape.

518
00:25:20,386 --> 00:25:23,923
(STRAIGHT AHEAD PLAYING)

519
00:25:32,431 --> 00:25:36,135
Really simple, boys. If you
take this six, you flip it,
that's the price.

520
00:25:36,135 --> 00:25:38,004
You know what you
can do with this?

521
00:25:38,004 --> 00:25:41,373
You can take this
and turn it into
that if you want.

522
00:25:41,373 --> 00:25:45,912
You've taken $3,000 off
this car. It's back down
to your original price.

523
00:25:45,912 --> 00:25:48,480
Zooha, to sell you must...

524
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:50,850
Confine, confuse, conflict.

525
00:25:50,850 --> 00:25:54,386
Nice! Teddy Dang,
to close, you must...

526
00:25:54,386 --> 00:25:57,223
Lie, loan, leave.

527
00:25:57,223 --> 00:26:00,526
Nice. Mr. Dick Lewiston?

528
00:26:00,526 --> 00:26:03,930
Go fuck yourself,
you bald-headed
son of a bitch.

529
00:26:03,930 --> 00:26:06,332
I've seen more hair on bacon.

530
00:26:06,332 --> 00:26:07,900
Good enough.

531
00:26:07,900 --> 00:26:10,102
DON: Wow, you must be
the girls from the strip club.

532
00:26:10,102 --> 00:26:11,904
Yes. Heather.
Hey, Heather. How are you?

533
00:26:11,904 --> 00:26:13,172
Your job is to greet people,

534
00:26:13,172 --> 00:26:14,707
get them in the buying mood,
okay?

535
00:26:14,707 --> 00:26:16,208
I have an idea.
Sure.

536
00:26:16,208 --> 00:26:17,944
Since it's July 4th,
I thought it'd be good

537
00:26:17,944 --> 00:26:20,079
to talk to the customers
about how this government

538
00:26:20,079 --> 00:26:21,981
has been cutting
benefits for veterans.

539
00:26:21,981 --> 00:26:24,250
Let me guess,
you are dancing to pay for

540
00:26:24,250 --> 00:26:25,885
your Masters
in Political Science.

541
00:26:25,885 --> 00:26:28,087
Yes. How did you know?
I don't know.

542
00:26:28,087 --> 00:26:29,756
Stripper stories,
they usually come in three,

543
00:26:29,756 --> 00:26:31,523
college student,
single mom, cokehead.

544
00:26:31,523 --> 00:26:33,392
What's your son's name?

545
00:26:33,392 --> 00:26:35,695
I'm kidding. I don't even know
what I'm saying. I'm bananas.

546
00:26:35,695 --> 00:26:37,964
You guys are
doing an amazing job.

547
00:26:37,964 --> 00:26:40,700
Sapphire, wipe
your nose. God.

548
00:26:40,700 --> 00:26:43,703
All right, we gonna be selling
some cars today.

549
00:26:43,703 --> 00:26:45,204
(LAUGHING)

550
00:26:45,204 --> 00:26:47,840
And tomorrow, you know who
we got coming in? I do.

551
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:53,379
American Idol's very own Bo
Bice's brother is coming down.

552
00:26:53,379 --> 00:26:56,215
Yes. Eric Bice will be right
here, rocking the stage.

553
00:26:56,215 --> 00:26:58,951
Hey, DJ. This place
is about to pop.

554
00:26:58,951 --> 00:27:01,287
Why don't you throw on
some Charlie Daniels?

555
00:27:01,287 --> 00:27:02,889
Good call.

556
00:27:02,889 --> 00:27:04,390
* Tits
* You know I love it

557
00:27:04,390 --> 00:27:06,392
* Girl, won't you
let me touch it?

558
00:27:06,392 --> 00:27:08,861
* Tits
* Put 'em in my face

559
00:27:08,861 --> 00:27:10,262
* Bounce 'em to the bass *

560
00:27:10,262 --> 00:27:12,631
Nobody tells DJ Request
what to play.

561
00:27:12,631 --> 00:27:15,401
Let them tell you
what to play, they
lose respect for you.

562
00:27:15,401 --> 00:27:19,105
They lose respect for you,
you lose control.

563
00:27:19,105 --> 00:27:20,339
Not today.

564
00:27:22,775 --> 00:27:23,976
All right.

565
00:27:23,976 --> 00:27:25,778
You want to thumb wrestle?

566
00:27:25,778 --> 00:27:27,146
Yeah, I'm awesome.

567
00:27:28,580 --> 00:27:31,083
Oh! You won.
I totally beat you.

568
00:27:31,083 --> 00:27:32,618
Oh, what are you
gonna do to me now?

569
00:27:32,618 --> 00:27:33,853
What?

570
00:27:33,853 --> 00:27:36,388
You better spank
me or something.

571
00:27:36,388 --> 00:27:39,525
Babs! He's 10.

572
00:27:39,525 --> 00:27:40,760
Ten and a half.

573
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:42,428
Do you hear that, Ready?
Ten and a half.

574
00:27:45,664 --> 00:27:47,633
Brent. Those are my kids.

575
00:27:47,633 --> 00:27:50,737
Yeah. And probably a good reason
you're not selling.

576
00:27:50,737 --> 00:27:52,338
What are you talking about?

577
00:27:52,338 --> 00:27:54,907
Zooha, let's face it.
You've got husky kids.

578
00:27:54,907 --> 00:27:56,508
I know it, you know it,

579
00:27:56,508 --> 00:27:59,078
and every Chuck E. Cheese
in a 50-mile radius knows it.

580
00:27:59,078 --> 00:28:01,113
You know who doesn't need
to know it? The customer.

581
00:28:01,113 --> 00:28:03,249
I don't understand.

582
00:28:03,249 --> 00:28:05,451
Look, you put up
a picture of skinny kids.

583
00:28:05,451 --> 00:28:09,088
Customer thinks, "Oh, my lord,
this guy needs the commission.

584
00:28:09,088 --> 00:28:10,823
"He's got to feed
those hungry mouths."

585
00:28:10,823 --> 00:28:13,760
Oh! Okay. I get it. I get it.

586
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:15,094
Should I take down
the picture of my wife?

587
00:28:15,094 --> 00:28:17,129
No, that's your closer.

588
00:28:17,129 --> 00:28:22,034
Fat kids, customer
hates you. Fat wife,
customer pities you.

589
00:28:22,034 --> 00:28:26,605
Shit, Zooha. That's the best
fat wife I've seen
in four or five years.

590
00:28:26,605 --> 00:28:27,974
Can I have a copy of it?

591
00:28:30,409 --> 00:28:32,278
Nice balloons.

592
00:28:32,278 --> 00:28:34,847
Wow, that line must have
knocked them dead
in the frat house.

593
00:28:34,847 --> 00:28:36,215
Come on, I'm just trying
to have some fun.

594
00:28:36,215 --> 00:28:37,917
So, you pumped
for the big day?

595
00:28:37,917 --> 00:28:39,585
Yeah, it should be great.

596
00:28:39,585 --> 00:28:42,121
They say you sell some cars.
Let's see you sell some cars.

597
00:28:42,121 --> 00:28:44,523
No, no, I'm not talking about
the sale. I'm talking
about your wedding.

598
00:28:44,523 --> 00:28:49,161
Excited to spend
the next 60 years
of your life with...

599
00:28:51,030 --> 00:28:52,398
Paxton?
Paxton.

600
00:28:52,398 --> 00:28:55,734
BMW boy band Paxton.
Seems like a super guy.

601
00:28:55,734 --> 00:28:58,170
Oh, now, now.

602
00:28:58,170 --> 00:29:01,240
All right, what about you?
You have any relationships

603
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:03,209
that last longer
than a lap dance?

604
00:29:03,209 --> 00:29:05,444
Have you seen what these
girls do these days?

605
00:29:05,444 --> 00:29:09,281
I mean, we are living
in the golden age
of lap dances.

606
00:29:09,281 --> 00:29:11,050
Wow, that has got
to be tiring.

607
00:29:11,050 --> 00:29:12,919
No.
You don't want a home life?

608
00:29:12,919 --> 00:29:16,188
You don't want to
live for somebody
other than yourself?

609
00:29:16,188 --> 00:29:19,291
No time. I'm on the road
51.5 weeks a year,

610
00:29:19,291 --> 00:29:23,996
and I like myself a lot.
I'm having a blast.

611
00:29:26,065 --> 00:29:28,935
You know what?
I don't believe you.

612
00:29:41,914 --> 00:29:44,050
(PEOPLE CLAMORING)

613
00:29:44,050 --> 00:29:45,451
Look at them.

614
00:29:45,451 --> 00:29:49,321
They're like crazy
boat people. I love it.

615
00:29:53,926 --> 00:29:57,229
Give away free hot dogs
and put up
an inflatable gorilla,

616
00:29:57,229 --> 00:29:59,498
shit's gonna go down.

617
00:29:59,498 --> 00:30:04,636
I feel exactly like I did
before I landed on Iwo Jima,
I swear to God.

618
00:30:04,636 --> 00:30:06,238
There's no difference at all.

619
00:30:09,575 --> 00:30:13,079
Attaboy, Teddy.
Pain is weakness
leaving the body.

620
00:30:15,814 --> 00:30:20,252
Sell these bastard cars!
Sell the metal.

621
00:30:20,252 --> 00:30:23,355
Sell the metal.
Sell the metal.

622
00:30:23,355 --> 00:30:26,625
Sell the metal.
Sell the metal.

623
00:30:26,625 --> 00:30:28,760
(SCREAMING)

624
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:30,429
(ALL SCREAMING)

625
00:30:34,100 --> 00:30:37,436
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

626
00:30:39,638 --> 00:30:42,508
(ALL SCREAMING)

627
00:30:46,645 --> 00:30:49,348
Welcome to Selleck Motors.
Let's get you in a car.

628
00:30:51,817 --> 00:30:52,885
Hi.
Hi.

629
00:30:52,885 --> 00:30:53,920
Hi. Welcome to Selleck Motors.

630
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:55,121
Yes, sir.

631
00:30:55,121 --> 00:30:56,722
Welcome to Selleck Motors.

632
00:30:56,722 --> 00:30:58,190
* I'm the friendly stranger
in the black sedan

633
00:30:58,190 --> 00:31:00,359
* Won't you hop
inside my car?

634
00:31:00,359 --> 00:31:03,262
* Got pictures, got candy
I'm a loveable man

635
00:31:03,262 --> 00:31:06,032
* Take you to
the nearest star

636
00:31:06,032 --> 00:31:07,733
Thanks so much.

637
00:31:07,733 --> 00:31:10,136
* I'll take you anywhere
you want to go

638
00:31:10,136 --> 00:31:12,939
* I'm your vehicle, woman *

639
00:31:12,939 --> 00:31:14,473
(CRYING)

640
00:31:14,473 --> 00:31:16,642
What's wrong with her?
What's her name?

641
00:31:16,642 --> 00:31:18,010
Stephanie.

642
00:31:19,912 --> 00:31:21,513
(WHISPERING) Hey,
little Stephanie.

643
00:31:21,513 --> 00:31:23,549
(CONTINUES WHISPERING)

644
00:31:25,051 --> 00:31:27,219
You're amazing.
What did you say to her?

645
00:31:27,219 --> 00:31:28,687
Shut the fuck up.

646
00:31:28,687 --> 00:31:29,688
Why don't we get you

647
00:31:29,688 --> 00:31:30,957
into one of these minivans?

648
00:31:30,957 --> 00:31:32,691
Zooha!

649
00:31:32,691 --> 00:31:34,393
* Well, if you want to be
a movie star

650
00:31:34,393 --> 00:31:37,196
* I'm gonna take you
to Hollywood

651
00:31:37,196 --> 00:31:40,599
* But if you want to stay
just like you are... *

652
00:31:40,599 --> 00:31:43,235
You feel it?
Yeah.

653
00:31:43,235 --> 00:31:45,471
I call it the divine rush.

654
00:31:45,471 --> 00:31:49,608
Money for cars. Salesmen putting
themselves on the line.

655
00:31:49,608 --> 00:31:52,144
Capitalism, it's my high.

656
00:31:52,144 --> 00:31:55,414
I haven't seen the lot
like this since I brought
in the Bandit Car.

657
00:31:55,414 --> 00:31:57,449
You know, rumor is that
that car is one of the cars

658
00:31:57,449 --> 00:31:59,318
that was in
Smokey and the Bandit.

659
00:31:59,318 --> 00:32:01,687
That weekend this
place was hopping.

660
00:32:01,687 --> 00:32:03,822
I was thinking we should get
that out of here, you know.

661
00:32:03,822 --> 00:32:05,157
It's bad for business.

662
00:32:05,157 --> 00:32:06,993
No, that car
is a collector's car.

663
00:32:06,993 --> 00:32:09,795
That's worth $200,000,
won't take a cent less.

664
00:32:09,795 --> 00:32:14,967
But in this Auto Lister,
they have the same exact
car for $1,000 less.

665
00:32:14,967 --> 00:32:17,603
Wow. What a great deal.

666
00:32:17,603 --> 00:32:19,538
Excuse me, can I see that?
Sure.

667
00:32:20,572 --> 00:32:22,208
My, my.

668
00:32:22,208 --> 00:32:24,343
If you can get this
car for 1,000 less,

669
00:32:24,343 --> 00:32:26,212
you should definitely buy.

670
00:32:26,212 --> 00:32:28,847
In fact, let me call.

671
00:32:28,847 --> 00:32:30,382
Thank you.

672
00:32:31,517 --> 00:32:32,851
Here you go.

673
00:32:32,851 --> 00:32:34,320
Thanks.

674
00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:35,954
MAN WITH DEEP VOICE: Hello?

675
00:32:35,954 --> 00:32:38,657
Hi, I'm calling about the car
you have advertised.

676
00:32:38,657 --> 00:32:41,093
Can we get a drink?

677
00:32:41,093 --> 00:32:43,262
No, I don't want
to go for a drink.

678
00:32:43,262 --> 00:32:45,364
Yeah, I can put you in my truck.
We can drive around.

679
00:32:45,364 --> 00:32:46,832
You can see how it handles.

680
00:32:46,832 --> 00:32:48,267
Maybe go to the reservoir.

681
00:32:48,267 --> 00:32:51,437
Excuse me? I...
Put the lotion in the basket.

682
00:32:51,437 --> 00:32:53,539
Put the lotion in
the fucking basket.

683
00:32:53,539 --> 00:32:55,207
Oh, my God.

684
00:32:55,207 --> 00:32:57,476
See, I try to tell
women all the time.

685
00:32:57,476 --> 00:33:00,446
Auto Lister's like MySpace
for serial killers.

686
00:33:00,446 --> 00:33:04,416
I don't want to see another
one of these on this lot.

687
00:33:06,385 --> 00:33:09,621
I think I'll just take
this car right over here.

688
00:33:09,621 --> 00:33:10,989
(BELL RINGS)

689
00:33:10,989 --> 00:33:15,227
Okay, here's the deal, Gary.
I know the stereotype.

690
00:33:15,227 --> 00:33:18,097
I'm a woman, got a luscious
body, provocative clothes.

691
00:33:18,097 --> 00:33:19,765
I'm gonna use
sex to sell cars.

692
00:33:19,765 --> 00:33:22,368
You know what's gonna sell this
car? Price, nothing else.

693
00:33:22,368 --> 00:33:24,570
I mean, I like men.

694
00:33:24,570 --> 00:33:26,372
I like men a lot.

695
00:33:27,939 --> 00:33:31,177
I can't believe
I'm doing this.
Do you know what I love?

696
00:33:32,078 --> 00:33:34,546
I love women.

697
00:33:34,546 --> 00:33:36,982
Yeah?
Oh!

698
00:33:36,982 --> 00:33:41,553
I mean, I'm talking me,
an Asian chick, and
a schoolteacher in a shower.

699
00:33:41,553 --> 00:33:42,554
Oh, yeah.

700
00:33:42,554 --> 00:33:44,456
Get all soapy
together and so wet.

701
00:33:44,456 --> 00:33:48,127
And you know what? Maybe like
a construction lady comes in,

702
00:33:48,127 --> 00:33:50,329
like, you know,
like I can't even tell
if she's hot or not.

703
00:33:50,329 --> 00:33:51,763
Okay.
But then she says,

704
00:33:51,763 --> 00:33:53,832
"Looks like I could
do some work here."

705
00:33:53,832 --> 00:33:55,000
And she takes off her hat.

706
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:56,702
It falls down. Sure.

707
00:33:56,702 --> 00:33:59,138
And then you guys come over and
all three of you undress her.

708
00:33:59,138 --> 00:34:00,872
Yeah. Hey, hey, guess what?
Yeah. What?

709
00:34:00,872 --> 00:34:03,242
I'm next door. Yeah, 'cause
I'm the superintendent,

710
00:34:03,242 --> 00:34:05,911
and I'm working on like
paperwork, like doing
people's checks, I'm like...

711
00:34:05,911 --> 00:34:08,414
Yeah. "What is that noise?"
Like, "That's weird.

712
00:34:08,414 --> 00:34:09,915
"There's not supposed
to be anybody next door."

713
00:34:09,915 --> 00:34:12,184
"Hey, who's in there?"
And I just hear, "Oh, oh."

714
00:34:12,184 --> 00:34:15,354
I listen by the door for
a while, then I open it up,
I'm like, "Hello?"

715
00:34:15,354 --> 00:34:16,622
I still can't see the steam.

716
00:34:16,622 --> 00:34:19,191
Ahhh! I'm so scared. Who is it?

717
00:34:19,191 --> 00:34:21,293
"Hey, you're not supposed
to be in here."

718
00:34:21,293 --> 00:34:22,928
Can I give you
something to say?

719
00:34:22,928 --> 00:34:24,463
Yeah.
Say this, say, say,

720
00:34:24,463 --> 00:34:26,898
"Hey, I knew something was
missing in this apartment,

721
00:34:26,898 --> 00:34:28,667
"a big cock."

722
00:34:28,667 --> 00:34:31,870
"I knew something was
missing in this apartment,
a big cock."

723
00:34:31,870 --> 00:34:34,140
And we're fucking,
and then someone else
goes, "Oh, yeah..."

724
00:34:34,140 --> 00:34:36,208
Fuck. I just thought
of something, man.

725
00:34:36,208 --> 00:34:38,009
What?
How are you gonna get there?

726
00:34:38,009 --> 00:34:40,212
I'm right next door, remember?
I'm just gonna walk over.

727
00:34:40,212 --> 00:34:42,047
No, man, this is miles
and miles away, man.

728
00:34:42,047 --> 00:34:43,415
You got to get there soon!

729
00:34:43,415 --> 00:34:44,350
I'm, like, managing
a bunch of properties?

730
00:34:44,350 --> 00:34:46,017
Yes!
Oh...

731
00:34:46,017 --> 00:34:48,019
How are you... It's across town.
How are you gonna get there?

732
00:34:48,019 --> 00:34:49,755
I don't know.
I don't have a car.
I gotta get a bus...

733
00:34:49,755 --> 00:34:51,823
No, man, you got to
fucking take this car.

734
00:34:51,823 --> 00:34:55,427
Yes. I am gonna buy this car.
It's a good car, right?

735
00:34:55,427 --> 00:34:57,463
No.
I don't give a shit.

736
00:34:57,463 --> 00:34:58,830
Go see the dudes in the back!

737
00:34:58,830 --> 00:35:00,899
Run, man! Run!
I'm gonna go buy this car.

738
00:35:00,899 --> 00:35:03,635
In your country, they would cut
your hands off

739
00:35:03,635 --> 00:35:05,671
because you're
stealing from us.

740
00:35:05,671 --> 00:35:08,674
You guys have got
an amazing deal,
I can't believe it.

741
00:35:08,674 --> 00:35:11,177
BOY: Mom! Mom!

742
00:35:11,177 --> 00:35:12,544
(LAUGHING) Yeah!

743
00:35:12,544 --> 00:35:13,812
(GRUNTS)

744
00:35:17,149 --> 00:35:18,484
(LAUGHING)

745
00:35:22,754 --> 00:35:24,523
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

746
00:35:28,059 --> 00:35:29,127
How we doing?

747
00:35:29,127 --> 00:35:30,696
Kicking ass.

748
00:35:30,696 --> 00:35:33,299
I was worried earlier, but we're
gonna have a great day.

749
00:35:33,299 --> 00:35:35,167
Check out that Blake kid.
He's on fire.

750
00:35:35,167 --> 00:35:36,268
Yeah, I noticed.

751
00:35:36,268 --> 00:35:37,803
Wasn't that your move?

752
00:35:37,803 --> 00:35:41,840
Well, mine ended with the
two-gun salute to heaven,

753
00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:43,575
but it's damn close.

754
00:35:43,575 --> 00:35:46,878
You remember when I told you
I partied with that beauty queen

755
00:35:46,878 --> 00:35:48,580
23 years ago in Temecula?

756
00:35:48,580 --> 00:35:51,183
I didn't put a hat
on my jimmy.

757
00:35:51,183 --> 00:35:56,188
Jesus, Don. You don't think
Blake's your son, do you?

758
00:36:01,727 --> 00:36:03,495
I'll tell you what,
why don't you guys go to finance

759
00:36:03,495 --> 00:36:04,763
and I'll meet you there,
all right?

760
00:36:04,763 --> 00:36:06,565
Okay.

761
00:36:06,565 --> 00:36:09,368
That's impressive, Blake.
You're a natural.

762
00:36:09,368 --> 00:36:11,036
Spend a lot of time growing up
around dealerships?

763
00:36:11,036 --> 00:36:14,105
No, but my mom always said
that I had it in my blood.

764
00:36:14,105 --> 00:36:15,674
I remember this
one time as a kid,

765
00:36:15,674 --> 00:36:17,876
I traded my crappy Huffy bike
to this kid down the block

766
00:36:17,876 --> 00:36:19,945
for his brand-new
shiny Schwinn.

767
00:36:19,945 --> 00:36:22,047
No shit.
No shit, Don.

768
00:36:22,047 --> 00:36:25,784
Hey, was your old man
around a lot when
you were growing up?

769
00:36:25,784 --> 00:36:29,521
No. He took off
before I was born.

770
00:36:29,521 --> 00:36:30,622
I'm gonna go back
to the sale, Don.

771
00:36:30,622 --> 00:36:32,724
Blake, how old are you?

772
00:36:32,724 --> 00:36:33,925
Twenty-two.

773
00:36:36,262 --> 00:36:37,863
Hey, kid. Don.

774
00:36:39,265 --> 00:36:40,399
Remember that guy that
wanted the Explorer?

775
00:36:40,399 --> 00:36:41,700
Here's what I got him to do.

776
00:36:41,700 --> 00:36:44,703
Buy his own house
from himself for $1,

777
00:36:44,703 --> 00:36:46,838
which means nothing,
but to the bank...

778
00:36:57,949 --> 00:36:59,451
BRENT: Don.

779
00:36:59,451 --> 00:37:01,119
Hey.
What's going on?

780
00:37:01,119 --> 00:37:03,589
Good job. Huh?

781
00:37:05,357 --> 00:37:07,259
What'd I do, Don?

782
00:37:09,428 --> 00:37:11,497
Fuck you, I don't need
your validation.

783
00:37:17,035 --> 00:37:20,306
Look at that number.
Seventy-one cars sold.

784
00:37:20,306 --> 00:37:23,675
I am looking at some real
salesmen out here. Good work.

785
00:37:23,675 --> 00:37:26,412
Yeah, we've actually sold 34%
of the inventory.

786
00:37:26,412 --> 00:37:28,414
DON: Wow! I'm proud of you.

787
00:37:28,414 --> 00:37:29,948
And, by the way,

788
00:37:29,948 --> 00:37:32,351
congrats, whoever pulled off
a Nigerian buyback,

789
00:37:32,351 --> 00:37:33,585
haven't seen that in years.

790
00:37:33,585 --> 00:37:35,687
That was me. You can suck it.

791
00:37:35,687 --> 00:37:37,689
What's a Nigerian buyback?

792
00:37:37,689 --> 00:37:41,660
Guy takes a customer's
trade-in, then 20 minutes later,

793
00:37:41,660 --> 00:37:45,797
sells it right back to said
customer at a mark-up.

794
00:37:45,797 --> 00:37:47,165
(ALL LAUGHING)

795
00:37:47,165 --> 00:37:48,934
And we're looking at
an even better day tomorrow.

796
00:37:48,934 --> 00:37:51,903
Bo Bice's brother coming
in here to sing some tunes.

797
00:37:51,903 --> 00:37:54,540
Shut up. Eric Bice?
The very same.

798
00:37:54,540 --> 00:37:56,542
So, I think we do
a little celebrating.

799
00:37:56,542 --> 00:38:00,512
And after a hot first day,
there's only one way to do it.
'Okie.

800
00:38:00,512 --> 00:38:02,213
What?
BLAKE: What's 'okie?

801
00:38:02,213 --> 00:38:03,582
Tell them about it, Dick.

802
00:38:03,582 --> 00:38:05,417
He's talking about karaoke,

803
00:38:05,417 --> 00:38:06,885
you fucking queers.

804
00:38:06,885 --> 00:38:09,287
God damn, Dick knows what
I'm talking about.

805
00:38:09,287 --> 00:38:11,623
Let's go. Let's get into it.

806
00:38:11,623 --> 00:38:12,958
Nice job, everybody.

807
00:38:14,793 --> 00:38:16,695
I've been watching
you out there, girl.

808
00:38:16,695 --> 00:38:19,531
Your moves are probably
responsible for 10 sales.

809
00:38:19,531 --> 00:38:24,269
Well, any individual
who pursues his or
her own self interest

810
00:38:24,269 --> 00:38:27,038
actually promotes
the interest of
society as a whole.

811
00:38:27,038 --> 00:38:32,478
It's all trade, baby.
That's what makes
the world go 'round.

812
00:38:32,478 --> 00:38:36,782
That's funny. I always
thought love made
the world go 'round.

813
00:38:37,916 --> 00:38:39,084
See you.

814
00:38:45,023 --> 00:38:46,592
Love.

815
00:38:46,592 --> 00:38:48,594
Boy, you should be proud.

816
00:38:48,594 --> 00:38:52,531
You took a rag-tag bunch
of losers and turned them
into first-rate salesmen.

817
00:38:52,531 --> 00:38:54,500
That's what I do, Ben.

818
00:38:54,500 --> 00:38:56,535
(I SWEAR PLAYING
ON CAR STEREO)

819
00:38:56,535 --> 00:38:57,903
(MUSIC STOPS)

820
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:03,509
Hello, Ben.

821
00:39:03,509 --> 00:39:05,043
Hello, Stu.

822
00:39:05,043 --> 00:39:07,979
Looks like you guys
had a heck of a day.

823
00:39:07,979 --> 00:39:10,482
Hey, Paxton, Lance Bass
called. He said he...

824
00:39:10,482 --> 00:39:11,883
Fucking forget it.

825
00:39:11,883 --> 00:39:14,019
Yeah, like he would
have your number.

826
00:39:14,019 --> 00:39:16,722
Hey, Lance Bass never
opened for O-Town.

827
00:39:16,722 --> 00:39:18,590
My boy did.
You can google it.

828
00:39:18,590 --> 00:39:21,359
Yeah, I told them
that already, Dad.
They refused to google it.

829
00:39:21,359 --> 00:39:22,961
Huh.

830
00:39:22,961 --> 00:39:25,363
Well, let me cut to the chase
for you here, Ben.

831
00:39:25,363 --> 00:39:28,667
My boy Paxton's band,
Big Ups, they're really
starting to click,

832
00:39:28,667 --> 00:39:31,470
and we're running out
of rehearsal space over
at Harding Imports.

833
00:39:31,470 --> 00:39:32,971
So Paxton had a good idea.

834
00:39:32,971 --> 00:39:35,741
He said why not make
an offer on your lot,

835
00:39:35,741 --> 00:39:37,876
nice price, before
the bank gets it?

836
00:39:37,876 --> 00:39:39,911
That way, Paxton's out
front selling Beemers,

837
00:39:39,911 --> 00:39:42,113
then he runs around the back,
makes gold records.

838
00:39:42,113 --> 00:39:44,315
What do you think?
Oh, I don't know, Stu.

839
00:39:44,315 --> 00:39:45,517
We had a pretty
good day here.

840
00:39:45,517 --> 00:39:46,985
We had an outstanding day.

841
00:39:46,985 --> 00:39:48,520
Don't be all humble, Ben.
Come on.

842
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:50,355
All right, hold it, Don.

843
00:39:50,355 --> 00:39:51,890
Give us a couple minutes
alone, will you?

844
00:39:51,890 --> 00:39:53,391
You got it, Ben.

845
00:39:53,391 --> 00:39:54,826
You too, Paxton.

846
00:39:56,027 --> 00:39:57,729
Hey, you know,
even if Ben doesn't sell,

847
00:39:57,729 --> 00:39:59,631
we're gonna get this place
for pennies on the dollar

848
00:39:59,631 --> 00:40:01,299
when he goes B-rupt.
Really?

849
00:40:01,299 --> 00:40:04,035
You're gonna screw over
your future father-in-law?

850
00:40:04,035 --> 00:40:05,804
It's called business,
Don. Okay?

851
00:40:05,804 --> 00:40:10,476
And besides, I would do anything
to take Big Ups worldwide.

852
00:40:10,476 --> 00:40:14,079
So, Ivy isn't enough for you?

853
00:40:14,079 --> 00:40:16,281
(LAUGHING)

854
00:40:16,281 --> 00:40:20,952
You have a crush on my fiancee.
That is rich!

855
00:40:20,952 --> 00:40:23,622
Here's the deal, old-timer.
Get over it.

856
00:40:23,622 --> 00:40:26,157
Here is why I'm not
threatened by that at all.

857
00:40:26,157 --> 00:40:27,793
A, I have a beautiful car.

858
00:40:27,793 --> 00:40:28,860
Yeah.

859
00:40:28,860 --> 00:40:31,597
B, I have a $44 haircut.

860
00:40:31,597 --> 00:40:32,864
Right.
Yeah, and C,

861
00:40:32,864 --> 00:40:35,901
I have slick threads. Yeah.

862
00:40:35,901 --> 00:40:37,769
Men's Wearhouse.
I like the way I look.

863
00:40:37,769 --> 00:40:41,339
Right.
I'm Temecula's newest hard-on.

864
00:40:41,339 --> 00:40:43,308
A, it looks like you just
snapped into a Slim Jim.

865
00:40:43,308 --> 00:40:44,743
B, your suit looks
like it was...

866
00:40:44,743 --> 00:40:46,144
I'm glad we could work
all this out, Ben.

867
00:40:46,144 --> 00:40:48,113
Work what out?

868
00:40:48,113 --> 00:40:51,817
Well, Don, it's time
I start thinking about
my future grandkids.

869
00:40:51,817 --> 00:40:53,418
(GROANS)
I sold the lot to Stu.

870
00:40:53,418 --> 00:40:56,588
He made me a real good offer.
Thank you for your support,

871
00:40:56,588 --> 00:40:59,525
and you'll be paid
for the whole four days.

872
00:40:59,525 --> 00:41:02,027
But we're pulling the plug.

873
00:41:02,027 --> 00:41:03,629
Can we get all of their stuff
out of here, pronto?

874
00:41:03,629 --> 00:41:05,030
We want to rehearse
here tonight.

875
00:41:05,030 --> 00:41:06,932
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold on. Hold on a second.

876
00:41:06,932 --> 00:41:09,535
What about family?
What about history?

877
00:41:09,535 --> 00:41:11,369
(LAUGHING)

878
00:41:11,369 --> 00:41:12,904
What if we save this lot?

879
00:41:12,904 --> 00:41:14,272
What if I could guarantee you

880
00:41:14,272 --> 00:41:16,374
that I could sell
every car off this lot?

881
00:41:16,374 --> 00:41:18,877
Ben, that's foolish.
You don't even know this guy.

882
00:41:18,877 --> 00:41:22,147
Look at him.
He's a gun for hire, a tramp.

883
00:41:22,147 --> 00:41:25,416
Don, we're talking
about over 140 cars.

884
00:41:25,416 --> 00:41:27,886
Sure, it'd help the lot,
but that's impossible.

885
00:41:27,886 --> 00:41:30,388
All right.
Look, either I sell
every car on this lot,

886
00:41:30,388 --> 00:41:33,625
or I leave Temecula and get out
of the game for good.

887
00:41:33,625 --> 00:41:34,893
Doesn't move me at all.

888
00:41:34,893 --> 00:41:36,895
And you get Brent Gage
for the night.

889
00:41:36,895 --> 00:41:40,431
Sorry, Stu, but the deal's
off, at least till I see
how this thing pans out.

890
00:41:40,431 --> 00:41:42,100
Okay.

891
00:41:42,100 --> 00:41:44,069
You know, since you're
almost family, Ben,

892
00:41:44,069 --> 00:41:45,737
here's what I'm gonna do.

893
00:41:45,737 --> 00:41:47,706
I'm gonna save you a job
on my lot,

894
00:41:47,706 --> 00:41:51,009
after the bank
forecloses on yours.

895
00:41:51,009 --> 00:41:53,645
Damn it. Why are they
standing in the way of
my dreams, Daddy?

896
00:41:53,645 --> 00:41:54,780
Look it, here's the deal.

897
00:41:54,780 --> 00:41:56,181
Call your TV guy.

898
00:41:56,181 --> 00:41:58,149
Tell him we got to cut
some new spots right away.

899
00:41:58,149 --> 00:42:01,019
I have a script
for you, never fails.

900
00:42:02,287 --> 00:42:05,123
BOTH: * More than words

901
00:42:05,123 --> 00:42:12,097
* Is all you have to
do to make it real *

902
00:42:12,097 --> 00:42:14,099
Wait, now, so,

903
00:42:14,099 --> 00:42:17,502
he offered to pay us off
and we could leave town flush.

904
00:42:17,502 --> 00:42:18,937
And you said no.

905
00:42:18,937 --> 00:42:20,772
Yep.

906
00:42:20,772 --> 00:42:23,441
Motherfucker.
Hey, chill, chill!

907
00:42:23,441 --> 00:42:25,143
Come on, man, calm down.
It's Don.

908
00:42:25,143 --> 00:42:26,912
He wouldn't do it if he didn't
have a good reason.

909
00:42:26,912 --> 00:42:29,280
And then I told Ben that if we
don't sell all the cars

910
00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:31,449
that he could have
Brent for the night.

911
00:42:31,449 --> 00:42:33,051
Motherfucker...
BABS: All right. All right.

912
00:42:33,051 --> 00:42:36,087
Jibby, handle him.
Calm down. Calm down now.

913
00:42:36,087 --> 00:42:37,989
All right, here's
the scenario, all right?

914
00:42:37,989 --> 00:42:40,659
Tomorrow, I'm gonna sell
an assload of cars.

915
00:42:40,659 --> 00:42:44,830
And I suggest
you gentlemen do likewise.

916
00:42:47,933 --> 00:42:49,668
What the hell we gonna do?

917
00:42:49,668 --> 00:42:51,436
Why don't we chill
a little bit, Jibs?

918
00:42:51,436 --> 00:42:54,039
Just chill. Okay, it's cool.

919
00:42:54,039 --> 00:42:56,274
Don said we got TV spots
tomorrow, right?

920
00:42:56,274 --> 00:42:59,911
Bice is hitting town.
We're gonna pull this off.

921
00:43:03,682 --> 00:43:05,984
I'm gonna hit you
with a little Seger.

922
00:43:05,984 --> 00:43:08,720
Superbad, eyes up here,
let's focus.

923
00:43:09,655 --> 00:43:11,489
This one goes out to Blake.

924
00:43:11,489 --> 00:43:14,760
It's about a boy,
the son of a man,
a mother's child.

925
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:18,029
Let's get him a tissue,
'cause it's about to get raw.

926
00:43:18,029 --> 00:43:19,798
What the fuck is wrong
with that guy?

927
00:43:19,798 --> 00:43:23,735
* On a long and
lonesome highway

928
00:43:23,735 --> 00:43:25,170
* East of Omaha *

929
00:43:25,170 --> 00:43:26,705
Okay, I got to ask you
a question.

930
00:43:26,705 --> 00:43:28,073
Does Don
know what he's doing?

931
00:43:28,073 --> 00:43:30,208
I've seen that man
say a lot of crap

932
00:43:30,208 --> 00:43:33,078
just to sell cars
and move out of town.

933
00:43:33,078 --> 00:43:36,481
But this time,
he really means it.

934
00:43:36,481 --> 00:43:38,249
Truth be told,

935
00:43:39,818 --> 00:43:41,452
he ain't been the same
since 'Querque.

936
00:43:41,452 --> 00:43:42,688
'Querque?

937
00:43:42,688 --> 00:43:43,889
The Duke City.

938
00:43:43,889 --> 00:43:47,025
A-Town. Captain Kirk.

939
00:43:48,059 --> 00:43:50,095
Albuquerque.
Oh!

940
00:43:50,962 --> 00:43:52,330
Who calls it Captain Kirk?

941
00:43:52,330 --> 00:43:53,699
I don't know.

942
00:43:54,866 --> 00:43:56,467
We lost a good
man down there.

943
00:43:56,467 --> 00:43:58,569
Oh, he quit?
Died.

944
00:43:58,569 --> 00:44:01,039
From a car sale?
Hell, yes.

945
00:44:01,039 --> 00:44:05,210
The rest of us come to terms.
Don's still fighting it.

946
00:44:06,644 --> 00:44:07,879
Wow.

947
00:44:07,879 --> 00:44:09,247
Only Jeff Robins wasn't
looking,

948
00:44:09,247 --> 00:44:10,581
so I pegged
him in the head.

949
00:44:10,581 --> 00:44:12,250
(BOTH LAUGHING)

950
00:44:14,185 --> 00:44:15,053
What is it?

951
00:44:15,053 --> 00:44:17,188
It's really a fun juice.

952
00:44:17,188 --> 00:44:18,256
Okay.

953
00:44:18,256 --> 00:44:20,158
Okay. Just don't
tell your dad.

954
00:44:20,158 --> 00:44:22,293
You know what else
is really fun?

955
00:44:24,029 --> 00:44:25,697
Going to a motel
and wrestling.

956
00:44:25,697 --> 00:44:27,198
I love wrestling.

957
00:44:27,198 --> 00:44:29,600
I can get you into
a figure four leg-lock.

958
00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:33,004
(GRUNTING) Like this.
You know, your legs'll
be all tied up.

959
00:44:33,004 --> 00:44:34,239
Sold.

960
00:44:34,239 --> 00:44:36,507
You'd be screaming.
That sounds fantastic.

961
00:44:36,507 --> 00:44:37,976
Okay.

962
00:44:37,976 --> 00:44:39,377
Are you good at
keeping secrets?

963
00:44:39,377 --> 00:44:40,712
Absolutely.

964
00:44:40,712 --> 00:44:42,948
'Cause I've got
a present for you.

965
00:44:42,948 --> 00:44:44,615
Secret present outside,
by the dumpster.

966
00:44:44,615 --> 00:44:45,683
Is it a baseball mitt?

967
00:44:45,683 --> 00:44:48,653
Fits you like a baseball mitt,

968
00:44:48,653 --> 00:44:50,388
like a glove, I hope.

969
00:44:50,388 --> 00:44:51,522
Is it new or is it old?

970
00:44:51,522 --> 00:44:53,191
It will be new for you.

971
00:44:53,191 --> 00:44:55,326
All right, that means
I'm gonna have to break it in.

972
00:44:55,326 --> 00:44:57,028
Yep.
I'm gonna have to break it in.

973
00:44:57,028 --> 00:44:59,798
I'll put a ball in there,
and I'll tie it off.

974
00:44:59,798 --> 00:45:01,132
Right.

975
00:45:01,132 --> 00:45:02,868
And then I'll put lotions
and oil on it,

976
00:45:02,868 --> 00:45:04,169
and I'll sleep
with it under my pillow.

977
00:45:04,169 --> 00:45:05,336
(WHOOPING)

978
00:45:05,336 --> 00:45:08,006
Yeah. That was Turn the Page
by Bob Seger.

979
00:45:08,006 --> 00:45:10,241
I'm Don Ready.
Good night.

980
00:45:12,978 --> 00:45:15,847
So listen, let's meet outside
by the dumpster...

981
00:45:15,847 --> 00:45:17,816
Hey, it's 11:30,
closing time.

982
00:45:17,816 --> 00:45:19,851
Oh, man.

983
00:45:19,851 --> 00:45:21,820
I got to go home.
No. No.

984
00:45:21,820 --> 00:45:24,455
No, I got to go home,
put my pajamas on,
and I got to shave.

985
00:45:24,455 --> 00:45:25,824
I know, but, Peter, before
we do this, we'll just...

986
00:45:25,824 --> 00:45:27,558
We can wrestle later.

987
00:45:27,558 --> 00:45:28,860
No. In fact, I'm gonna...

988
00:45:28,860 --> 00:45:31,029
Waitress, can we get
another whiskey sour?

989
00:45:31,029 --> 00:45:32,730
Just for the road, and a...
We're closed.

990
00:45:32,730 --> 00:45:36,234
...paper cup, please. God damn
it! Just one more drink.

991
00:45:36,234 --> 00:45:38,703
I'll cut off your tits
with a knife, you bitch!

992
00:45:38,703 --> 00:45:42,173
Babs, listen, I like the energy.
Let's play through.

993
00:45:42,173 --> 00:45:44,042
Party back at
the Hacienda Courts.

994
00:45:44,042 --> 00:45:46,711
Everyone's welcome. No guys.

995
00:45:46,711 --> 00:45:50,348
* If you want to go far
Put yourself in a kicking car

996
00:45:52,617 --> 00:45:56,888
* At Selleck Motors *

997
00:45:56,888 --> 00:45:59,457
I started Selleck Motors
almost 40 years ago,

998
00:45:59,457 --> 00:46:03,594
and I've had a good run
here at my dealership,
and in life.

999
00:46:03,594 --> 00:46:08,900
But now I'm dying, Temecula.
I got cancer of the nads.

1000
00:46:08,900 --> 00:46:14,105
But before I die, I want
to see one last big
Fourth of July blowout.

1001
00:46:14,105 --> 00:46:17,742
So, my family and I are
asking you to come on
down to Selleck Motors

1002
00:46:17,742 --> 00:46:21,446
and buy one final car from us
before I'm dead.

1003
00:46:24,482 --> 00:46:29,354
Oh! Looks like the chemo
is kicking in,
so you better hurry.

1004
00:46:29,354 --> 00:46:30,555
(GROWLING)

1005
00:46:30,555 --> 00:46:32,690
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

1006
00:46:32,690 --> 00:46:35,426
(SOBBING) Jesus, Ben,
why didn't you tell me?

1007
00:46:35,426 --> 00:46:36,862
(CRYING) Daddy.

1008
00:46:38,063 --> 00:46:40,298
It's just a commercial,
Peter.

1009
00:46:40,298 --> 00:46:43,801
And, Brent, my privates
are fine, I swear to God.

1010
00:46:43,801 --> 00:46:45,536
Good for you, Ben.

1011
00:46:47,405 --> 00:46:49,975
It's gonna work, Ben.
It's gonna work
like gangbusters.

1012
00:46:49,975 --> 00:46:51,376
Yeah?
Yeah.

1013
00:46:51,376 --> 00:46:53,845
(AMAZING GRACE PLAYING
ON SPEAKERS)

1014
00:46:55,813 --> 00:46:59,817
Okay, if you don't like
the car, then go buy
a truck, cheapskates!

1015
00:46:59,817 --> 00:47:04,789
Every day, it's a gay safari.
Give me the balloon back.
Piece of shit.

1016
00:47:04,789 --> 00:47:06,357
Thank you. We appreciate this.
I'm so sorry.

1017
00:47:06,357 --> 00:47:08,626
If there's anything
I can do...

1018
00:47:08,626 --> 00:47:11,562
WOMAN: It's such a tragedy.
Tammy's so brave.

1019
00:47:11,562 --> 00:47:14,065
Hey, Don. I'm not sure
this is working.

1020
00:47:14,065 --> 00:47:17,936
I mean, people clearly care
about me and all,
but we're not selling cars.

1021
00:47:17,936 --> 00:47:19,737
Stay positive, Ben.

1022
00:47:19,737 --> 00:47:22,273
We're gonna hit
this hard until 3:00.
When Bice gets here,

1023
00:47:22,273 --> 00:47:24,309
he's gonna take
it over the top.

1024
00:47:25,676 --> 00:47:27,545
Hey.

1025
00:47:27,545 --> 00:47:29,447
Can you bring the mood up?

1026
00:47:29,447 --> 00:47:33,418
You know, play something good?
Like Y.M.C.A. by the Village
People.

1027
00:47:33,418 --> 00:47:35,286
You read my mind.

1028
00:47:35,286 --> 00:47:37,555
(MONKS CHANTING ON SPEAKERS)

1029
00:47:39,724 --> 00:47:44,729
Just out of curiosity,
what time do you
get down from there?

1030
00:47:44,729 --> 00:47:49,500
Every day they will test you.
Every day they will
push you to the brink.

1031
00:47:49,500 --> 00:47:53,704
You must fight them,
DJ. Fight them.

1032
00:47:53,704 --> 00:47:55,540
(MAN WOLF WHISTLING)

1033
00:47:55,540 --> 00:47:57,608
I'm gonna do something
that I don't do.

1034
00:47:57,608 --> 00:48:00,111
I'm gonna throw in
some free floor mats,
all right?

1035
00:48:00,111 --> 00:48:02,180
Now hold on. Hold...

1036
00:48:02,180 --> 00:48:03,514
Jesus.
IVY: Wait, wait, wait, wait.

1037
00:48:03,514 --> 00:48:05,516
Don! What's going on?
You know what?

1038
00:48:05,516 --> 00:48:07,318
If you would've
told me 10 years ago

1039
00:48:07,318 --> 00:48:09,687
that I were to hit the wall in
a three-day sale in Temecula...

1040
00:48:09,687 --> 00:48:12,924
You're hitting the wall now?
Well, yeah.

1041
00:48:12,924 --> 00:48:16,094
Let me ask you something.
What do you think this means?

1042
00:48:16,094 --> 00:48:17,395
I had this dream.
I was just saying...

1043
00:48:17,395 --> 00:48:18,563
Yo! Hey!

1044
00:48:18,563 --> 00:48:19,864
...you know, "Listen,
Don, you're a..."

1045
00:48:19,864 --> 00:48:21,299
Ivy, let's go.

1046
00:48:21,299 --> 00:48:24,202
We got lunch with my mom in,
like, two seconds.

1047
00:48:24,202 --> 00:48:25,770
Be right there.
We got to hurry.

1048
00:48:25,770 --> 00:48:29,540
She'll be drunk in
about 15, so giddy-up.

1049
00:48:29,540 --> 00:48:31,042
Don, what happened
in Albuquerque?

1050
00:48:31,042 --> 00:48:32,577
Nothing. Nothing happened.

1051
00:48:32,577 --> 00:48:34,712
You kidding? It was...

1052
00:48:34,712 --> 00:48:41,219
Listen, go have a great lunch
with... With your fiance.

1053
00:48:41,219 --> 00:48:43,588
PAXTON: Time to hit the road.

1054
00:48:43,588 --> 00:48:46,724
Hey, Don Ready, looks like
you had a rough day.

1055
00:48:46,724 --> 00:48:49,894
It's okay, sometimes it
happens in the auto trade.

1056
00:48:49,894 --> 00:48:52,063
If you suck.

1057
00:48:52,063 --> 00:48:53,564
(LAUGHING)

1058
00:48:55,566 --> 00:48:56,867
PAXTON: Hold on.

1059
00:48:56,867 --> 00:48:59,570
You got to admit, dude,
that was a good exit line.

1060
00:48:59,570 --> 00:49:01,772
Right? I got a better one.
Yeah.

1061
00:49:01,772 --> 00:49:06,978
Hey, Don Ready, I'll see
you in I-Don't-Know-How-
To-Sell-Cars-Ville.

1062
00:49:06,978 --> 00:49:08,946
Yeah, that one,
granted, not as good,

1063
00:49:08,946 --> 00:49:13,618
but that's 'cause I won't be
in that town. Fucker.

1064
00:49:13,618 --> 00:49:17,355
Damn it. Psych. Psych.
I just psyched you out.

1065
00:49:17,355 --> 00:49:19,857
I'm going that way,
so fuck you.

1066
00:49:19,857 --> 00:49:21,092
DJ ON SPEAKERS:
All right, people.

1067
00:49:21,092 --> 00:49:23,061
CROWD: (CHANTING) Eric Brice!

1068
00:49:23,061 --> 00:49:26,631
We got Eric Bice, brother
of Bo Bice, coming up in
the next five minutes.

1069
00:49:26,631 --> 00:49:28,699
You might want to sit
in one of our cars...

1070
00:49:28,699 --> 00:49:30,235
Hell of a turnout for Bice.

1071
00:49:30,235 --> 00:49:31,969
This day's starting
to look up, huh?

1072
00:49:31,969 --> 00:49:36,041
We need it. We're getting
killed out there today.

1073
00:49:36,041 --> 00:49:37,708
Don, we got problems,
big problems.

1074
00:49:37,708 --> 00:49:38,876
What's up?

1075
00:49:38,876 --> 00:49:40,578
Bice isn't showing.
What?

1076
00:49:40,578 --> 00:49:43,614
His booking agent said
he's got adult chickenpox.

1077
00:49:43,614 --> 00:49:45,283
But he gave me
some other options.

1078
00:49:45,283 --> 00:49:48,253
The mascot for the San Jose
Sharks hockey team.

1079
00:49:48,253 --> 00:49:50,655
He'll show, but he can't
wear the Shark suit.

1080
00:49:50,655 --> 00:49:52,690
What's this I'm hearing
about Bice?

1081
00:49:52,690 --> 00:49:55,926
He motherfucked us.
He motherfucked us like a pro.

1082
00:49:55,926 --> 00:49:57,528
I'm going on.
IVY: What?

1083
00:49:57,528 --> 00:49:59,330
I'm going on.
No, wait, Don, be careful.

1084
00:49:59,330 --> 00:50:01,632
I'm getting a real sketchy
vibe from this crowd.

1085
00:50:01,632 --> 00:50:03,568
Ivy, don't you see?
This is everything.

1086
00:50:03,568 --> 00:50:06,704
I get to sing,
which sells more cars,
which helps your family.

1087
00:50:06,704 --> 00:50:10,408
Plus, my son gets
to see the old man
come through in the clutch.

1088
00:50:11,476 --> 00:50:12,610
What son?

1089
00:50:12,610 --> 00:50:17,014
CROWD: (CHANTING)
Eric Bice! Eric Bice!

1090
00:50:17,014 --> 00:50:18,583
Hey, everyone!
(CROWD CHEERING)

1091
00:50:18,583 --> 00:50:21,786
I'm Don Ready.
I'm a car salesman.

1092
00:50:21,786 --> 00:50:22,987
This is gonna go well.

1093
00:50:22,987 --> 00:50:25,256
Yeah. Now, unfortunately,

1094
00:50:25,256 --> 00:50:30,928
Eric Bice has adult
chickenpox, but I'm gonna
be filling in for him.

1095
00:50:30,928 --> 00:50:32,897
Drop it!

1096
00:50:32,897 --> 00:50:34,632
(CROWD BOOING)

1097
00:50:35,966 --> 00:50:39,537
* Just take those old
records off the shelf

1098
00:50:39,537 --> 00:50:41,206
* I'll sit and listen
to them by myself

1099
00:50:41,206 --> 00:50:43,941
He's no Bice! He's no Bice!

1100
00:50:43,941 --> 00:50:46,511
Yeah, I should've
said something.
Don's a bad singer.

1101
00:50:46,511 --> 00:50:49,214
* I want that old
time rock and roll *

1102
00:50:49,214 --> 00:50:50,615
Fuck you!

1103
00:50:51,916 --> 00:50:54,152
Aren't you people tired
of being screwed over?

1104
00:50:54,152 --> 00:50:55,420
(ALL AGREEING)

1105
00:50:55,420 --> 00:50:58,123
Then let's fucking riot!

1106
00:50:58,123 --> 00:51:00,658
Hold up a minute!

1107
00:51:00,658 --> 00:51:01,992
WOMAN: Get him!

1108
00:51:01,992 --> 00:51:03,027
DJ: Stop it!

1109
00:51:03,027 --> 00:51:05,396
Hey... Hello! Hey, guys!

1110
00:51:05,396 --> 00:51:07,798
Mr. Selleck, we got to get
you out of here. Come on.

1111
00:51:07,798 --> 00:51:11,136
We got to hide, Brent.
We'll be safe in my room.

1112
00:51:11,136 --> 00:51:13,971
Hold up a minute!

1113
00:51:13,971 --> 00:51:16,407
Hold on! I got a big show!

1114
00:51:18,676 --> 00:51:21,412
DJ: This does not look good
for you, Uncle Sam.

1115
00:51:22,647 --> 00:51:23,848
Oh!

1116
00:51:25,183 --> 00:51:27,084
And concussion.

1117
00:51:32,089 --> 00:51:35,693
Don't mess with him!
That kid's got
retard strength!

1118
00:51:35,693 --> 00:51:36,727
PETER: Dork!

1119
00:51:36,727 --> 00:51:38,095
See.

1120
00:51:38,095 --> 00:51:39,497
(SCREAMING)

1121
00:51:43,768 --> 00:51:46,304
Who the fuck
brought alligators?

1122
00:51:48,038 --> 00:51:52,009
I never thought I'd say
this, but thank God
the police are here.

1123
00:51:52,009 --> 00:51:54,845
Welcome, police.

1124
00:51:54,845 --> 00:51:57,982
Come on, let's lock up
some white people.

1125
00:51:57,982 --> 00:52:00,851
Y'all are all retarded.

1126
00:52:00,851 --> 00:52:02,187
Hello?

1127
00:52:04,855 --> 00:52:07,292
IVY: This day
is completely shot.

1128
00:52:08,393 --> 00:52:09,860
Can you believe
these animals?

1129
00:52:09,860 --> 00:52:13,097
What the hell's happening
to this country?

1130
00:52:13,097 --> 00:52:16,567
What are you talking about,
Dick? You started it.

1131
00:52:16,567 --> 00:52:19,804
You remember? Cops gave you
a ticket for inciting a riot.

1132
00:52:19,804 --> 00:52:21,172
You old goat.

1133
00:52:21,172 --> 00:52:25,743
This is horrible.
Let's face it. It's over.

1134
00:52:25,743 --> 00:52:27,912
Ow!
It's not over. Over?

1135
00:52:27,912 --> 00:52:31,482
When is the last time that
there were that many cameras

1136
00:52:31,482 --> 00:52:32,883
on this lot, huh?

1137
00:52:32,883 --> 00:52:36,821
We got five hours left
in this day, okay?

1138
00:52:36,821 --> 00:52:39,156
Now, I intend to sell
some cars, all right?

1139
00:52:39,156 --> 00:52:41,526
Now, get in here.
Let's go over some
talking points. Come on.

1140
00:52:45,463 --> 00:52:48,366
ALL: * Baby, if you are true

1141
00:52:48,366 --> 00:52:50,901
* I'll keep doing it

1142
00:52:50,901 --> 00:52:52,237
(MOANS)

1143
00:52:52,237 --> 00:52:54,805
* Doing it,
right there, to you

1144
00:52:54,805 --> 00:52:56,674
* Doing it

1145
00:52:57,742 --> 00:52:59,944
* Doing it

1146
00:52:59,944 --> 00:53:01,512
* Doing it

1147
00:53:01,512 --> 00:53:04,282
* Doing it to you *

1148
00:53:04,282 --> 00:53:08,686
MALE EMPLOYEE ON SPEAKER:
Julio, pick up line nine.
Julio, line nine.

1149
00:53:08,686 --> 00:53:11,155
RICKY: You know, look, guys,
the big problem here?

1150
00:53:11,155 --> 00:53:12,457
We need a bigger
rehearsal space.

1151
00:53:12,457 --> 00:53:14,292
Not a problem. Here's why.

1152
00:53:14,292 --> 00:53:15,526
Huge riot down at
Selleck Motors.

1153
00:53:15,526 --> 00:53:17,094
The place
is going down in flames.

1154
00:53:17,094 --> 00:53:18,496
We're taking it over.

1155
00:53:18,496 --> 00:53:20,365
It is the new Big Ups
rehearsal space.

1156
00:53:20,365 --> 00:53:22,199
Are you serious?
Yeah.

1157
00:53:22,199 --> 00:53:24,201
PAXTON: We're gonna...
We're gonna take it over.

1158
00:53:24,201 --> 00:53:26,904
Pardon me, boys.

1159
00:53:26,904 --> 00:53:29,574
Some bad news from
Selleck Motors.
Look at this.

1160
00:53:29,574 --> 00:53:31,509
BEN ON TV: Listen, people get
excited over used cars,

1161
00:53:31,509 --> 00:53:34,345
and, occasionally,
they'll punch and burn things.

1162
00:53:34,345 --> 00:53:35,946
Now, some call that a riot.

1163
00:53:35,946 --> 00:53:39,617
Me? I call it excitement
over the low, low prices

1164
00:53:39,617 --> 00:53:41,719
down here at
Ben Selleck Motors.

1165
00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:44,622
The police are
the real heroes.

1166
00:53:44,622 --> 00:53:46,291
And because of that,
we're offering

1167
00:53:46,291 --> 00:53:48,959
20% off and 0% financing

1168
00:53:48,959 --> 00:53:52,730
to any police officer
that comes down,
anyone with a police hat,

1169
00:53:52,730 --> 00:53:54,665
anyone that says
the word "police."

1170
00:53:54,665 --> 00:53:59,937
This Don Ready
is like the rash
between my balls and thigh.

1171
00:53:59,937 --> 00:54:05,175
And if you find an alligator
in your car, $500 off!

1172
00:54:05,175 --> 00:54:07,912
Congratulations, Officer.

1173
00:54:07,912 --> 00:54:10,881
You see that, Ben?
Just like that,
we're back in business.

1174
00:54:20,425 --> 00:54:22,493
Motherfucker,
I ring the bell.

1175
00:54:22,493 --> 00:54:23,994
HEATHER: The reason that
the Japanese outsell us

1176
00:54:23,994 --> 00:54:26,531
is because they make
more fuel-efficient vehicles

1177
00:54:26,531 --> 00:54:30,401
while Detroit insists on
pushing gas-guzzling SUVs.

1178
00:54:30,401 --> 00:54:34,204
God damn, girl,
you turning me on.

1179
00:54:34,204 --> 00:54:37,875
Would it be improper of me
to ask you out
for a drink tonight?

1180
00:54:37,875 --> 00:54:41,879
I don't know, Jibby.
I've been hurt before.

1181
00:54:41,879 --> 00:54:46,183
Well, my problem is
I ain't never allowed
myself to be hurt.

1182
00:54:46,183 --> 00:54:48,353
I'm trying to be
more vulnerable.

1183
00:54:48,353 --> 00:54:50,521
Well, you're an
honest man, Jibby,

1184
00:54:50,521 --> 00:54:55,059
and honesty is the first step
to being vulnerable.

1185
00:54:55,059 --> 00:54:57,362
You can pick me up at 9:00.

1186
00:55:06,437 --> 00:55:08,706
JIBBY: Hey, Don.
Hey, Jibs.

1187
00:55:08,706 --> 00:55:10,375
What's with
the shit-eating grin?

1188
00:55:10,375 --> 00:55:12,843
For the first
time in my life,

1189
00:55:12,843 --> 00:55:16,681
I have a chance
to make love to a woman.

1190
00:55:19,384 --> 00:55:20,751
Love.

1191
00:55:23,153 --> 00:55:24,522
(LAUGHING)

1192
00:55:26,156 --> 00:55:28,693
I'm glad we found
the right car for you.

1193
00:55:33,631 --> 00:55:36,133
Hey, Blake, you ready?

1194
00:55:36,133 --> 00:55:37,368
For what?

1195
00:55:37,368 --> 00:55:39,136
A little catch.

1196
00:55:39,136 --> 00:55:41,806
You know, I'm starting to think
that maybe Ivy was right,

1197
00:55:41,806 --> 00:55:43,508
maybe it's time
for old Don Ready

1198
00:55:43,508 --> 00:55:48,045
to settle down
and plant some roots
in this crazy old world.

1199
00:55:48,045 --> 00:55:49,447
Great.

1200
00:55:49,447 --> 00:55:51,449
I mean, I've been on the move
for so long

1201
00:55:51,449 --> 00:55:53,384
that I've
never taken time to stop

1202
00:55:53,384 --> 00:55:56,654
and to hug the people that
are important in my life.

1203
00:55:56,654 --> 00:56:01,492
And, Blake, don't ever think
that you're not important.
All right?

1204
00:56:01,492 --> 00:56:03,861
Great.

1205
00:56:03,861 --> 00:56:05,896
You ever think
about your daddy?

1206
00:56:05,896 --> 00:56:07,865
(LAUGHING) No.

1207
00:56:07,865 --> 00:56:10,067
I mean, who wants to think about
some piece of shit

1208
00:56:10,067 --> 00:56:12,703
that gets a woman pregnant
and then takes off?

1209
00:56:12,703 --> 00:56:16,741
You know, I'm not bitter.
I did fine without him.

1210
00:56:18,075 --> 00:56:20,244
He's probably out
there with no family,

1211
00:56:20,244 --> 00:56:21,679
nothing real to hold onto.

1212
00:56:21,679 --> 00:56:24,148
Can you imagine how meaningless
life must be

1213
00:56:24,148 --> 00:56:25,450
for a prick like that?

1214
00:56:25,450 --> 00:56:26,851
What a douche.

1215
00:56:36,427 --> 00:56:37,762
Hey.
Hey.

1216
00:56:37,762 --> 00:56:41,265
I cannot believe this riot
actually helped.

1217
00:56:41,265 --> 00:56:43,634
You are insane.

1218
00:56:43,634 --> 00:56:45,570
You know, I'm gonna be
sorry to see you go.

1219
00:56:45,570 --> 00:56:48,873
Well, Ivy, goodbyes are
an occupational hazard.

1220
00:56:51,075 --> 00:56:52,577
Okay, wow.

1221
00:56:52,577 --> 00:56:54,812
I don't know what's
going on with you.

1222
00:56:54,812 --> 00:56:56,447
You are hot, you are cold.

1223
00:56:56,447 --> 00:56:59,216
One minute you're happy,
then you're snapping at me.

1224
00:56:59,216 --> 00:57:01,318
I mean...

1225
00:57:01,318 --> 00:57:03,153
What happened in Albuquerque?

1226
00:57:03,153 --> 00:57:05,289
You don't want to know what
happened in 'Querque.

1227
00:57:05,289 --> 00:57:07,291
Actually, I do.

1228
00:57:07,291 --> 00:57:11,128
Come on, what?
You can trust me.
Just let your guard down.

1229
00:57:14,832 --> 00:57:17,401
McDermott was my best friend

1230
00:57:17,401 --> 00:57:21,038
and the greatest car-sale DJ
anyone's ever seen.

1231
00:57:21,038 --> 00:57:24,208
Damn it, it shouldn't have
gone down like that!

1232
00:57:24,208 --> 00:57:27,444
(SIGHS) I was all wrapped
up with this woman.
It wasn't gonna work.

1233
00:57:27,444 --> 00:57:30,280
I knew that.
Blah, blah, blah.
I was trying to impress her.

1234
00:57:30,280 --> 00:57:32,483
We had already sold a bunch
of cars that weekend,

1235
00:57:32,483 --> 00:57:34,218
but I wanted to
take it over the top.

1236
00:57:34,218 --> 00:57:37,822
So, I thought, hey, let's put a
few bucks into it, you know?

1237
00:57:37,822 --> 00:57:43,594
Get a good crowd in there.
We'd airdrop McDermott in,
dressed as Abe Lincoln.

1238
00:57:43,594 --> 00:57:45,329
He would float in and say...

1239
00:57:45,329 --> 00:57:47,632
I freed the slaves,
now I'm gonna free

1240
00:57:47,632 --> 00:57:50,400
those cars from the slavery
of high prices!

1241
00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:52,670
DON: We had a bunch of great
lines for him to say.

1242
00:57:52,670 --> 00:57:54,304
Hey, just like
John Wilkes Booth,

1243
00:57:54,304 --> 00:57:56,306
our prices are gonna sneak up
behind you

1244
00:57:56,306 --> 00:57:57,908
and blow your brains out!

1245
00:57:57,908 --> 00:58:00,778
When I asked him, he didn't even
blink. He just did it.

1246
00:58:00,778 --> 00:58:04,114
Thanks, buddy. This is the
thrill of a lifetime!

1247
00:58:04,114 --> 00:58:06,751
Drop zone! Drop zone!

1248
00:58:06,751 --> 00:58:09,854
Me, I was on the ground
with Mrs. Talero.

1249
00:58:09,854 --> 00:58:12,489
We planned to meet
in the back of a Taurus.

1250
00:58:12,489 --> 00:58:15,693
That is so good. My husband
never does that to me anymore.
Oh, yes.

1251
00:58:15,693 --> 00:58:18,328
She had me pack a bag
of sexual accoutrements.

1252
00:58:18,328 --> 00:58:22,299
Basic shit, you know,
rubbers, lube, dildos.

1253
00:58:22,299 --> 00:58:25,570
Weirder stuff.
Executioners' masks,
French ticklers.

1254
00:58:25,570 --> 00:58:26,937
Yeah! Take me away!

1255
00:58:26,937 --> 00:58:29,940
The only problem was
I took the wrong bag.

1256
00:58:32,242 --> 00:58:33,477
Whoo!

1257
00:58:33,477 --> 00:58:37,281
Fuck! Don gave me
the wrong bag!

1258
00:58:37,281 --> 00:58:38,916
I can only imagine
what was going through

1259
00:58:38,916 --> 00:58:42,553
McDermott's head as
he fell to his death.

1260
00:58:42,553 --> 00:58:44,689
Got to try to get away
from this dildo!

1261
00:58:44,689 --> 00:58:46,090
DON: The regrets
he must've had.

1262
00:58:46,090 --> 00:58:48,358
Most people who are
in this situation,

1263
00:58:48,358 --> 00:58:52,663
their life flashes before
their eyes and they go
through a list of regrets!

1264
00:58:52,663 --> 00:58:58,102
For the next 45 seconds,
I want to go through the list
of things I've done right!

1265
00:58:58,102 --> 00:59:03,574
Number one,
full-length back tattoo
of the Hawaiian Punch guy!

1266
00:59:03,574 --> 00:59:06,176
10% real fruit juice,
motherfuckers!

1267
00:59:06,176 --> 00:59:09,279
He had a huge heart,
but, my God, was he stupid.

1268
00:59:09,279 --> 00:59:14,652
Number three,
had my wisdom teeth
put back into my skull!

1269
00:59:17,588 --> 00:59:20,024
Christ, the dildo's back!

1270
00:59:21,992 --> 00:59:26,563
I'm gonna get into an
aerodynamic tuck and use
the dildo to cushion my fall!

1271
00:59:28,666 --> 00:59:31,268
I killed my best friend.

1272
00:59:31,268 --> 00:59:35,439
I wish I could say
I didn't think it
would end this way!

1273
00:59:35,439 --> 00:59:38,643
But I got to tell you,
I always knew it would!

1274
00:59:38,643 --> 00:59:43,547
Falling to my death,
dressed as Abe Lincoln,
holding a big, purple dildo!

1275
00:59:43,547 --> 00:59:45,950
This is how I drew it up.

1276
00:59:47,852 --> 00:59:49,553
Huh?
Next thing I know,

1277
00:59:49,553 --> 00:59:51,455
it's raining dildos.

1278
00:59:51,455 --> 00:59:52,790
(CRASH)

1279
00:59:54,792 --> 00:59:59,129
Had I just been focused on
the sale, it wouldn't have
gone down like that.

1280
00:59:59,129 --> 01:00:02,266
Now it's all happening again,
with you and Blake.

1281
01:00:02,266 --> 01:00:04,635
I'm losing who I am
and my focus.

1282
01:00:04,635 --> 01:00:07,504
You think that riot
was an accident?
No, no, no.

1283
01:00:07,504 --> 01:00:12,609
It happened
because I lost my focus.
That was damn good Seger.

1284
01:00:12,609 --> 01:00:15,545
And now I'm falling for you.
Yeah, no, not again.
I'm not gonna do that.

1285
01:00:15,545 --> 01:00:17,514
Wait, Don, come on, don't go.

1286
01:00:17,514 --> 01:00:20,885
I'm gonna go sell some cars,
Mrs. Harding.

1287
01:00:23,287 --> 01:00:25,756
"Z."

1288
01:00:25,756 --> 01:00:27,925
Seven.

1289
01:00:27,925 --> 01:00:30,795
Hey, guys.
Brent.

1290
01:00:30,795 --> 01:00:32,897
I have to say something.

1291
01:00:32,897 --> 01:00:35,332
I think Don might
think I'm his son.

1292
01:00:35,332 --> 01:00:37,534
Now, I've met my dad.
He lives in Louisiana.

1293
01:00:37,534 --> 01:00:40,037
I just wasn't raised by him.

1294
01:00:40,037 --> 01:00:43,073
Don's going through a lot
of big changes in his life,

1295
01:00:43,073 --> 01:00:46,877
and right now you might be
the rock he's holding onto.

1296
01:00:48,412 --> 01:00:50,314
Are you saying I should
pretend to be his son?

1297
01:00:50,314 --> 01:00:51,782
Because, Brent,
that's fucked up.

1298
01:00:51,782 --> 01:00:54,318
Is it? Or is it fucked down?

1299
01:00:54,318 --> 01:00:56,453
Look, Don Ready would make
a damn good father to you,

1300
01:00:56,453 --> 01:01:01,225
and right now,
I don't see a lot of guys
lining up for the job.

1301
01:01:01,225 --> 01:01:05,129
Think about that.
And while you're at it,

1302
01:01:05,129 --> 01:01:08,098
you think about why
your dad left you.

1303
01:01:09,399 --> 01:01:13,370
Come in here and blame Don.
That's pathetic.

1304
01:01:17,708 --> 01:01:19,209
(SLOW MUSIC PLAYING
ON SPEAKERS)

1305
01:01:19,209 --> 01:01:20,945
DJ: It's about 20 minutes
on the down side of 9:00

1306
01:01:20,945 --> 01:01:23,013
here at Selleck Motors.
I hope you're curled up

1307
01:01:23,013 --> 01:01:26,483
with your best girl,
making music together

1308
01:01:26,483 --> 01:01:28,518
in between the sheets.

1309
01:01:28,518 --> 01:01:30,687
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

1310
01:01:30,687 --> 01:01:35,793
Look at this. You know,
everyone's gone, so you can
shut it down. Thank you.

1311
01:01:35,793 --> 01:01:38,028
Looks like that's
gonna do it for me.

1312
01:01:38,028 --> 01:01:39,964
Good night, sweet Temecula.

1313
01:01:39,964 --> 01:01:42,599
May all your loves
be tender...

1314
01:01:42,599 --> 01:01:44,735
Seriously!
Shut it the fuck down!

1315
01:01:44,735 --> 01:01:46,136
DON: Thank you.

1316
01:01:46,971 --> 01:01:49,106
(BALD MEDUSA PLAYING)

1317
01:01:49,106 --> 01:01:51,308
See, I don't do what I'm told.

1318
01:01:51,308 --> 01:01:54,578
I'm what's called contrarian,
all right?

1319
01:01:54,578 --> 01:01:56,814
I hate... Aw!

1320
01:01:56,814 --> 01:02:00,017
You gonna turn
the lights off on me?
Like that's gonna scare me?

1321
01:02:00,017 --> 01:02:01,986
I don't give a fuck!

1322
01:02:01,986 --> 01:02:04,088
I'm homeless, motherfuckers!

1323
01:02:09,593 --> 01:02:14,664
* It ain't no use to sit
and wonder why, babe

1324
01:02:14,664 --> 01:02:17,768
* It don't matter, anyhow

1325
01:02:17,768 --> 01:02:21,872
* It ain't no use to sit
and wonder why, babe *

1326
01:02:22,739 --> 01:02:25,109
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

1327
01:02:31,281 --> 01:02:33,150
Wow! Hey...

1328
01:02:34,618 --> 01:02:36,053
Come on in.

1329
01:02:36,053 --> 01:02:38,288
Shouldn't you be at home
with Bell Biv DeVoe

1330
01:02:38,288 --> 01:02:40,024
writing personalized
vows or some shit?

1331
01:02:40,024 --> 01:02:43,127
Don, I'm here.
Don't make me change my mind.

1332
01:02:46,630 --> 01:02:49,766
PAXTON ON TV: Yo,
we're Temecula's
number-one pop sensation.

1333
01:02:49,766 --> 01:02:51,101
* Big Ups! *
* Big Ups! *

1334
01:02:51,101 --> 01:02:52,602
And we're gonna
be kicking it live,

1335
01:02:52,602 --> 01:02:54,571
right here at Harding Imports
tomorrow,

1336
01:02:54,571 --> 01:02:56,340
so come on down!
Congrats again on that. Yeah.

1337
01:02:56,340 --> 01:02:58,042
Thanks.

1338
01:02:58,042 --> 01:03:00,510
You want to turn it off?
He needs to see this.

1339
01:03:00,510 --> 01:03:04,949
ALL: * With lease-to-own options
and a full-service garage *

1340
01:03:04,949 --> 01:03:07,084
(SONG ECHOING)

1341
01:03:14,658 --> 01:03:17,461
We're gonna make love.

1342
01:03:17,461 --> 01:03:19,396
Love.

1343
01:03:19,396 --> 01:03:21,631
Love.

1344
01:03:21,631 --> 01:03:22,967
Love.

1345
01:03:25,002 --> 01:03:26,570
Head & Shoulders?

1346
01:03:26,570 --> 01:03:27,704
How'd you know?

1347
01:03:27,704 --> 01:03:29,573
My uncle uses it.

1348
01:03:33,710 --> 01:03:36,680
We're actually making love.

1349
01:03:36,680 --> 01:03:39,716
I'm making love.

1350
01:03:39,716 --> 01:03:41,551
We're making love.

1351
01:03:41,551 --> 01:03:44,955
You know what
nobody ever told me
about making love?

1352
01:03:44,955 --> 01:03:46,156
What?

1353
01:03:46,156 --> 01:03:48,425
How boring it is.

1354
01:03:48,425 --> 01:03:49,894
Yeah.

1355
01:03:51,661 --> 01:03:55,232
You can do anything you want.
My safe word is
"blueberry pancakes."

1356
01:03:55,232 --> 01:03:56,733
Okay.

1357
01:03:56,733 --> 01:03:58,936
(GIVE IT TO ME PLAYING)

1358
01:03:59,870 --> 01:04:01,471
(BOTH MOANING)

1359
01:04:05,475 --> 01:04:07,878
Let's have sex in every
corner of this room.

1360
01:04:07,878 --> 01:04:09,313
Okay.

1361
01:04:13,617 --> 01:04:15,185
I fucked up.
I should've got
a bigger room.

1362
01:04:15,185 --> 01:04:16,553
That's okay.

1363
01:04:16,553 --> 01:04:18,956
I have points and
I didn't use them.

1364
01:04:38,042 --> 01:04:40,510
Continental breakfast in bed.

1365
01:04:40,510 --> 01:04:41,645
Hacienda Courts style.

1366
01:04:41,645 --> 01:04:42,913
Wow.

1367
01:04:42,913 --> 01:04:44,448
You know why this is
the best breakfast?

1368
01:04:44,448 --> 01:04:46,816
Why?
Bear claws, crullers,

1369
01:04:46,816 --> 01:04:50,154
prison-size orange juice.
Mmm!

1370
01:04:50,154 --> 01:04:54,524
You know, I actually
feel bad for Paxton.

1371
01:04:54,524 --> 01:04:57,694
I didn't mean to come in
and split you guys up,

1372
01:04:57,694 --> 01:05:00,264
but engagements are
made to be broken.

1373
01:05:00,264 --> 01:05:01,265
Um...

1374
01:05:01,265 --> 01:05:04,234
Don, I'm not leaving Paxton.

1375
01:05:05,635 --> 01:05:07,171
What?

1376
01:05:07,171 --> 01:05:09,606
You don't love him.

1377
01:05:09,606 --> 01:05:12,142
Well, now, that's
not necessarily true.

1378
01:05:12,142 --> 01:05:15,545
And, you know,
I'm almost 30 years old.

1379
01:05:15,545 --> 01:05:18,715
I mean, what am I supposed
to do, you know?

1380
01:05:18,715 --> 01:05:20,517
I want things,

1381
01:05:20,517 --> 01:05:24,221
and I want a family,
and Paxton wants
those things, too.

1382
01:05:25,489 --> 01:05:26,656
(SIGHS)

1383
01:05:28,692 --> 01:05:31,962
I mean, look, nobody
dreams of buying
an '88 Lynx station wagon,

1384
01:05:31,962 --> 01:05:33,930
but we sold one
yesterday, right?

1385
01:05:33,930 --> 01:05:35,299
And the people who
bought it, bought it

1386
01:05:35,299 --> 01:05:37,267
because buying
a 2007 Land Rover

1387
01:05:37,267 --> 01:05:38,735
wasn't an option for them.

1388
01:05:38,735 --> 01:05:40,337
So, what are my options, Don?

1389
01:05:40,337 --> 01:05:43,473
What about us? What about giving
us a chance? I mean...

1390
01:05:43,473 --> 01:05:45,775
Where, in the Hacienda Courts
in Boise?

1391
01:05:45,775 --> 01:05:47,511
Or how about the Hacienda
Courts in Wichita?

1392
01:05:47,511 --> 01:05:49,279
'Cause if things
go really well,

1393
01:05:49,279 --> 01:05:51,581
we could raise our kids in the
Hacienda Courts in Muskogee.

1394
01:05:51,581 --> 01:05:54,318
What did you even
come here for?

1395
01:05:55,819 --> 01:05:58,788
Because I wanted
one last fling.

1396
01:05:58,788 --> 01:06:02,792
And I know you're not
gonna stick around.

1397
01:06:02,792 --> 01:06:08,065
So, you're just gonna have sex
with me and then leave?

1398
01:06:09,533 --> 01:06:11,268
This hurts!

1399
01:06:11,268 --> 01:06:13,737
Guess this is what women
mean when they say,

1400
01:06:13,737 --> 01:06:16,606
"So you're just gonna have sex
with me and leave? This hurts."

1401
01:06:16,606 --> 01:06:18,008
(SCREAMS)

1402
01:06:18,008 --> 01:06:19,509
I'm sorry.

1403
01:06:19,509 --> 01:06:22,479
Something that I want is being
taken away from me,

1404
01:06:22,479 --> 01:06:24,781
and I don't like it!
I don't like it!

1405
01:06:24,781 --> 01:06:27,917
This is exactly how
I felt after 'Querque!

1406
01:06:27,917 --> 01:06:29,553
Screw everybody!

1407
01:06:29,553 --> 01:06:34,024
The only thing that I trust
in this world is cars!

1408
01:06:49,139 --> 01:06:50,274
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

1409
01:06:50,274 --> 01:06:52,409
BRENT: Come on, Don!

1410
01:06:52,409 --> 01:06:53,877
Come on!

1411
01:06:53,877 --> 01:06:55,445
What's going on?
Don!

1412
01:06:55,445 --> 01:06:57,747
Don's never been late
for the last day of a sale.

1413
01:06:59,449 --> 01:07:03,787
Don's gone, and you
did not see me here.

1414
01:07:03,787 --> 01:07:05,422
Okay.

1415
01:07:05,422 --> 01:07:06,890
Well, did he go
to the lot?

1416
01:07:06,890 --> 01:07:10,494
I don't know. He kind of just
freaked out and left.

1417
01:07:12,962 --> 01:07:15,099
'Querque all over again.

1418
01:07:15,099 --> 01:07:16,800
Fucking 'Querque.

1419
01:07:25,008 --> 01:07:26,710
He's gone.

1420
01:07:26,710 --> 01:07:28,512
Looked everywhere,
called the cops.

1421
01:07:28,512 --> 01:07:30,547
No one knows where he is.

1422
01:07:31,915 --> 01:07:34,984
I'm sorry, fellas,
I apologize from all of us.

1423
01:07:34,984 --> 01:07:37,154
No. Hold on.

1424
01:07:37,154 --> 01:07:38,722
You guys did your best.

1425
01:07:38,722 --> 01:07:41,758
I mean, it was an uphill battle
from the beginning, right?

1426
01:07:41,758 --> 01:07:44,694
But, hey! We still
sold some cars, right?

1427
01:07:44,694 --> 01:07:47,030
We still sold some cars!

1428
01:07:47,030 --> 01:07:48,365
(LAUGHS)

1429
01:07:48,365 --> 01:07:50,267
Might as well dust
off the old resume.

1430
01:07:50,267 --> 01:07:52,936
(SOBBING)

1431
01:07:52,936 --> 01:07:55,339
Hey, wait just a minute.

1432
01:07:55,339 --> 01:07:58,108
I practically built
this dealership myself,

1433
01:07:58,108 --> 01:08:01,145
and I remember a day when
we wouldn't hang our heads

1434
01:08:01,145 --> 01:08:03,813
or talk about
closing the lot.

1435
01:08:03,813 --> 01:08:07,751
A customer would walk in here
and this place would pop!

1436
01:08:07,751 --> 01:08:09,486
There you go, Ben.

1437
01:08:09,486 --> 01:08:12,088
And having Don "The Goods" Ready
here for three days

1438
01:08:12,088 --> 01:08:16,293
made me remember why
I became a car salesman
in the first place.

1439
01:08:16,293 --> 01:08:19,429
(ALL CHEERING)

1440
01:08:19,429 --> 01:08:21,731
TEDDY: Mr. Selleck's right.

1441
01:08:21,731 --> 01:08:25,502
We can do this. Don has taught
us all something.

1442
01:08:25,502 --> 01:08:29,038
He knew more about us than
we knew about ourselves.

1443
01:08:29,038 --> 01:08:30,340
Yeah.

1444
01:08:30,340 --> 01:08:33,177
You know,
I never much cared for Jews,

1445
01:08:33,177 --> 01:08:35,479
queers or fucking Eskimos,

1446
01:08:35,479 --> 01:08:37,847
but that's just
the way I was brought up.

1447
01:08:37,847 --> 01:08:39,916
Is that it?

1448
01:08:39,916 --> 01:08:41,285
Yeah. That's it.

1449
01:08:41,285 --> 01:08:43,187
I just wanted to
put that out there.

1450
01:08:43,187 --> 01:08:46,290
I thought we were
opening up here!

1451
01:08:46,290 --> 01:08:49,159
Guys. We can sell these cars.

1452
01:08:49,159 --> 01:08:50,360
There you go!

1453
01:08:50,360 --> 01:08:51,895
Ready has carried
us this far.

1454
01:08:51,895 --> 01:08:55,299
Well, I say we start
carrying our own weight.

1455
01:08:55,299 --> 01:08:58,368
So let's get out there
and sell the metal!
Who's with me?

1456
01:08:58,368 --> 01:09:00,837
We are!
We are!

1457
01:09:00,837 --> 01:09:02,772
I'm with you! Listen to him!
We are! We are!

1458
01:09:02,772 --> 01:09:07,977
ALL: (CHANTING)
We are! We are! We are!

1459
01:09:07,977 --> 01:09:10,714
We are! We are! We are!
We are! We are! We are!

1460
01:09:12,482 --> 01:09:13,917
STU: You don't even
know this guy.

1461
01:09:13,917 --> 01:09:17,287
Look at him.
He's a gun for hire, a tramp.

1462
01:09:17,287 --> 01:09:21,825
BLAKE: He's probably out
there with no family,
nothing real to hold onto.

1463
01:09:21,825 --> 01:09:24,828
IVY: And I know you're not
gonna stick around.

1464
01:09:24,828 --> 01:09:27,831
JIBBY: James Van Der Beek,
my nigger.

1465
01:09:31,301 --> 01:09:34,871
McDERMOTT: Well, if it isn't
Don goddamn fucking Ready.

1466
01:09:34,871 --> 01:09:37,741
Holy fuck. McDermott?

1467
01:09:38,675 --> 01:09:41,945
ANGELS: * He has returned

1468
01:09:41,945 --> 01:09:44,881
* He is McDermott *

1469
01:09:44,881 --> 01:09:46,115
Oh, my God!

1470
01:09:46,115 --> 01:09:47,684
I been waiting a long time

1471
01:09:47,684 --> 01:09:49,553
to set the record straight
with you, man.

1472
01:09:49,553 --> 01:09:53,990
* He's setting the record
straight, motherfucker *

1473
01:09:53,990 --> 01:09:58,127
I trusted you, Don. I trusted
that what we were doing
was bigger than all of us.

1474
01:09:58,127 --> 01:10:02,031
But it turns out, all you
wanted to do was get your
ball sack played with

1475
01:10:02,031 --> 01:10:03,500
by some woman
with bad credit.

1476
01:10:03,500 --> 01:10:06,503
* It's an age-old tale

1477
01:10:06,503 --> 01:10:10,039
* His trust was
betrayed by tang *

1478
01:10:10,039 --> 01:10:11,508
Balls and wiener.

1479
01:10:11,508 --> 01:10:13,843
They let angels out of heaven
to cuss at people?

1480
01:10:13,843 --> 01:10:16,946
Yeah, of course. That's
what's going down, dipshit.

1481
01:10:16,946 --> 01:10:20,450
* Fuck you, Don Ready,
fuck your family *

1482
01:10:20,450 --> 01:10:24,254
I don't get it, McDermott.
Man, you used to be
so easygoing and...

1483
01:10:24,254 --> 01:10:27,957
Yeah, I was.
I was easy breezy.
And then, guess what?

1484
01:10:27,957 --> 01:10:32,095
I fell out of a plane
and hit the ground,
and I didn't bounce.

1485
01:10:32,095 --> 01:10:35,399
But you know what did bounce?
My butthole through my face.

1486
01:10:35,399 --> 01:10:39,303
* Geronimo, splat

1487
01:10:39,303 --> 01:10:43,307
* Displaced anus *

1488
01:10:44,341 --> 01:10:46,276
I'm so sorry, McDermott.

1489
01:10:46,276 --> 01:10:49,346
I need your help, man.
I feel so empty.

1490
01:10:49,346 --> 01:10:55,084
Don't you get it, Don?
This is where all the cars
we sell end up.

1491
01:10:55,084 --> 01:10:58,121
It's not about the cars.
It's about the team

1492
01:10:58,121 --> 01:11:00,524
and finding people
you love. That's it.

1493
01:11:00,524 --> 01:11:02,091
What do I do?

1494
01:11:02,091 --> 01:11:03,960
(SIGHS) You know what to do.

1495
01:11:03,960 --> 01:11:08,398
Get off the road, man.
I mean, after 35,
it just looks pathetic.

1496
01:11:08,398 --> 01:11:13,437
* While we're on the subject
You're too old
for a Facebook page *

1497
01:11:13,437 --> 01:11:15,339
I'm sorry, McDermott.

1498
01:11:15,339 --> 01:11:17,206
It's okay, man.

1499
01:11:17,206 --> 01:11:21,044
I'll see you in 28 years.
That's when you're gonna die.

1500
01:11:21,044 --> 01:11:24,481
* August 19, 2036 *

1501
01:11:24,481 --> 01:11:25,849
How am I gonna die?

1502
01:11:25,849 --> 01:11:29,085
Choking on a sausage patty
at a strip club.

1503
01:11:29,085 --> 01:11:31,888
Is there any way
they could sing it?
'Cause it sounds sad.

1504
01:11:31,888 --> 01:11:36,693
No, it's not very lyrical,
and it is sad. So, no.

1505
01:11:36,693 --> 01:11:37,894
A little bit? A little...
No.

1506
01:11:37,894 --> 01:11:39,095
We talked about it

1507
01:11:39,095 --> 01:11:42,265
in the heaven spaceship
that brought us here.

1508
01:11:42,265 --> 01:11:43,132
We got to jump.
Change your ways.

1509
01:11:43,132 --> 01:11:44,568
No, no.

1510
01:11:44,568 --> 01:11:46,403
See you, Don.

1511
01:11:49,873 --> 01:11:52,609
Oh, my God, Ivy and the team,
they need me.

1512
01:11:52,609 --> 01:11:55,144
They need me right now.
Need me.

1513
01:11:55,144 --> 01:11:56,746
Thank you, McDermott!

1514
01:12:08,057 --> 01:12:10,360
Get them out of the back lot
and into the front!

1515
01:12:10,360 --> 01:12:12,729
(WHISTLES) Let's go, let's go!

1516
01:12:14,564 --> 01:12:17,100
I think you guys are gonna
really like this car.
It's a good fit.

1517
01:12:17,100 --> 01:12:19,536
Good news. My finance guy
says it's gonna work.

1518
01:12:19,536 --> 01:12:20,670
Are you serious?

1519
01:12:20,670 --> 01:12:22,439
(CHUCKLING) Zooha!

1520
01:12:32,816 --> 01:12:35,819
It's all Don.
You understand?

1521
01:12:35,819 --> 01:12:36,820
All of it.

1522
01:12:36,820 --> 01:12:41,491
* You looked all right before

1523
01:12:41,491 --> 01:12:44,093
* Fox on the run

1524
01:12:44,093 --> 01:12:49,032
* You screamed and everybody
comes a-running

1525
01:12:49,032 --> 01:12:54,771
* Take a run
and hide yourself away

1526
01:12:54,771 --> 01:12:57,841
* Foxy on the run *

1527
01:12:57,841 --> 01:12:58,942
Oh!

1528
01:12:58,942 --> 01:13:00,644
Retard!

1529
01:13:02,345 --> 01:13:03,713
I love you.

1530
01:13:05,381 --> 01:13:08,251
I've got some things
I need to make right
on the ground!

1531
01:13:08,251 --> 01:13:11,020
I'm doing this for
my friend McDermott!

1532
01:13:11,020 --> 01:13:13,523
He died,
and I'm jumping for him!

1533
01:13:13,523 --> 01:13:16,225
Makes all the sense
in the world!

1534
01:13:16,225 --> 01:13:19,563
One, two, three! Jump!

1535
01:13:19,563 --> 01:13:22,131
(WHOOPING)

1536
01:13:22,131 --> 01:13:24,568
BEN: You got yourself
a good deal there.

1537
01:13:24,568 --> 01:13:27,003
Pop the clutch!
Pop the clutch!

1538
01:13:28,505 --> 01:13:32,809
We did it. We sold every
last car on the lot.

1539
01:13:32,809 --> 01:13:35,945
Man, I wish Don
was here to see this.

1540
01:13:38,114 --> 01:13:39,949
(DON WHOOPING)

1541
01:13:39,949 --> 01:13:43,119
Hey, look, everyone!
It's Superman!

1542
01:13:43,119 --> 01:13:45,555
I want to come down
right at Selleck Motors,
all right?

1543
01:13:45,555 --> 01:13:47,123
Got it.
All right.

1544
01:13:49,058 --> 01:13:50,894
Where are the cars?

1545
01:13:50,894 --> 01:13:52,629
Wait a minute! Is that Don?

1546
01:13:52,629 --> 01:13:54,664
Look out! Run! Run!

1547
01:13:54,664 --> 01:13:57,767
Watch your head, team!
Coming in hot.

1548
01:14:02,739 --> 01:14:04,808
Hey, Jibby,
where are all the cars?

1549
01:14:04,808 --> 01:14:07,811
Don, we did it.
We sold every
single one of them.

1550
01:14:07,811 --> 01:14:11,548
You're shitting me.
That's fantastic!

1551
01:14:11,548 --> 01:14:13,182
They all stepped up.
DON: Unbelievable.

1552
01:14:13,182 --> 01:14:15,051
I'm proud of you guys,
all of you!

1553
01:14:15,051 --> 01:14:17,654
We couldn't have
done it without you,
Mr. Ready.

1554
01:14:17,654 --> 01:14:19,689
You taught us all
to stand on our own.

1555
01:14:19,689 --> 01:14:22,992
Your time here has been rich
and filled with wisdom.

1556
01:14:22,992 --> 01:14:24,761
I don't know what to say.

1557
01:14:24,761 --> 01:14:27,396
Why not start
with the truth, Don?

1558
01:14:27,396 --> 01:14:31,434
Well, the truth is,
you sons of bitches
saved Selleck Motors!

1559
01:14:31,434 --> 01:14:32,869
(ALL CHEERING)

1560
01:14:34,270 --> 01:14:36,339
Fuck you, Don Ready!

1561
01:14:36,339 --> 01:14:40,409
You didn't sell all the cars.
You lose. You're losers.

1562
01:14:40,409 --> 01:14:44,447
What are you talking about?
All the cars are gone.
Lot stays with the Sellecks.

1563
01:14:44,447 --> 01:14:47,717
Come on, Stu, a deal's a deal.
We sold all the cars
on the lot.

1564
01:14:47,717 --> 01:14:52,455
Nobody sold the Bandit Car.
Rules are rules.
The lot's mine.

1565
01:14:52,455 --> 01:14:53,623
The Bandit Car?

1566
01:14:53,623 --> 01:14:56,325
Don said every
car on the lot.

1567
01:14:56,325 --> 01:14:59,495
Bandit Car's a car
and it's on the lot.

1568
01:14:59,495 --> 01:15:01,898
Hold on a second.
That thing is a prop.

1569
01:15:01,898 --> 01:15:05,368
Don, that is not a prop.
That is a $200,000 automobile.

1570
01:15:05,368 --> 01:15:06,670
This is good.

1571
01:15:06,670 --> 01:15:08,437
Is this the great Don Ready

1572
01:15:08,437 --> 01:15:11,240
complaining about how hard
it is to sell a car?

1573
01:15:11,240 --> 01:15:13,309
Did you hear that, everybody?
Did you hear that?

1574
01:15:13,309 --> 01:15:17,080
Maybe he's not so great.
Maybe he sucks!

1575
01:15:18,582 --> 01:15:20,717
So, I guess you lose!

1576
01:15:20,717 --> 01:15:24,854
Ben, you lose the lot.
Don, you have to skip town.

1577
01:15:26,690 --> 01:15:28,792
Right, everybody?

1578
01:15:36,666 --> 01:15:41,738
You know, Paxton, I been
doing a lot of thinking
these past few days.

1579
01:15:43,673 --> 01:15:44,774
(CHUCKLING)

1580
01:15:44,774 --> 01:15:47,243
About what, asshole?

1581
01:15:47,243 --> 01:15:49,412
Dreams.

1582
01:15:49,412 --> 01:15:51,447
About how we either,
you know...

1583
01:15:51,447 --> 01:15:54,017
We either cherish them
or let them die on the vine.
Uh-huh.

1584
01:15:54,017 --> 01:15:55,619
What'd you want to be
when you were a kid?

1585
01:15:55,619 --> 01:15:58,254
Me, I wanted to be
a ref in the WNBA.

1586
01:15:58,254 --> 01:16:00,156
You know, 'cause I like women
and I like basketball.

1587
01:16:00,156 --> 01:16:01,625
Can you get off my back?

1588
01:16:01,625 --> 01:16:03,860
You want to do
this one on your own?
Yeah, thanks, man.

1589
01:16:03,860 --> 01:16:06,863
I get that. Okay,
you guys do your thing.
Uh-huh.

1590
01:16:06,863 --> 01:16:08,965
What'd you dream
about, Paxton?

1591
01:16:08,965 --> 01:16:10,934
Music. Music's been my passion

1592
01:16:10,934 --> 01:16:12,368
ever since I fell in love
with the classics.

1593
01:16:12,368 --> 01:16:14,503
Now, when you say classics,
what do you mean?

1594
01:16:14,503 --> 01:16:19,809
Well, it's a pretty short
list. You got your 'N Sync.

1595
01:16:19,809 --> 01:16:22,746
You got your 98 Degrees,
your Boyz II Men.

1596
01:16:22,746 --> 01:16:24,380
And then pretty much
the Backstreet Boys

1597
01:16:24,380 --> 01:16:26,650
came along and revolutionized
music as a whole.

1598
01:16:26,650 --> 01:16:29,585
Hello!
What about O-Town?

1599
01:16:29,585 --> 01:16:31,520
That was the best
night of my life.

1600
01:16:31,520 --> 01:16:34,323
See, I haven't had the best
night of my life yet.

1601
01:16:34,323 --> 01:16:36,025
Someday though, huh?

1602
01:16:36,025 --> 01:16:38,895
All personal crap aside, I hear
Big Ups is pretty damn good.

1603
01:16:38,895 --> 01:16:40,296
Come on, who said that?

1604
01:16:40,296 --> 01:16:41,698
People talk.

1605
01:16:41,698 --> 01:16:43,733
BABS: Is he doing
what I think he's doing?

1606
01:16:43,733 --> 01:16:45,534
JIBBY: No way.

1607
01:16:45,534 --> 01:16:50,106
If he moves that car,
I'll eat my own pussy.

1608
01:16:50,106 --> 01:16:51,641
Attagirl.

1609
01:16:51,641 --> 01:16:53,276
Thirty-two years
in the business

1610
01:16:53,276 --> 01:16:56,345
and I've never seen this,
a dealer-to-dealer lot sale.

1611
01:16:56,345 --> 01:16:57,681
This is suicide.

1612
01:16:57,681 --> 01:17:00,016
Come on, Don,
stay focused.

1613
01:17:00,016 --> 01:17:01,417
Let me ask you
something, man.

1614
01:17:01,417 --> 01:17:02,585
You ever think about just
dropping everything

1615
01:17:02,585 --> 01:17:04,053
and going for it?

1616
01:17:04,053 --> 01:17:05,588
I'm not talking about
setting up some studio

1617
01:17:05,588 --> 01:17:08,224
in the back of a car lot.
I'm talking about you,

1618
01:17:08,224 --> 01:17:10,426
Ricky and Jason
living the life, man,

1619
01:17:10,426 --> 01:17:14,497
and putting yourselves
on the line on a daily basis.

1620
01:17:14,497 --> 01:17:15,832
Wait. What are you doing?

1621
01:17:15,832 --> 01:17:18,301
Picture this, Paxton.

1622
01:17:18,301 --> 01:17:22,505
Big Ups touring
the Florida Panhandle, right?

1623
01:17:22,505 --> 01:17:24,908
Gainesville, sold out.

1624
01:17:25,809 --> 01:17:28,444
Pensacola, sold out. Right?

1625
01:17:28,444 --> 01:17:31,114
And now it's Panama Beach.

1626
01:17:31,114 --> 01:17:32,648
Lights go down,

1627
01:17:32,648 --> 01:17:35,084
and all you can
hear is 7,500 girls

1628
01:17:35,084 --> 01:17:38,121
screaming at the top
of their lungs, right?

1629
01:17:38,121 --> 01:17:41,357
And the bass,
it starts pumping.

1630
01:17:41,357 --> 01:17:44,060
Pump, pump, pump, pump.

1631
01:17:44,060 --> 01:17:47,530
The girls start jumping.
Jump, jump, jump.

1632
01:17:47,530 --> 01:17:52,068
Ricky and Jason, they hit
the stage. Dance,
dance, dance, dance, dance.

1633
01:17:52,068 --> 01:17:53,636
What happens next, Paxton?

1634
01:17:53,636 --> 01:17:55,705
I don't know. What?

1635
01:17:55,705 --> 01:17:58,842
An engine roars to life.

1636
01:17:58,842 --> 01:18:01,745
What?
I mean, just fucking roars!

1637
01:18:01,745 --> 01:18:04,147
(MIMICKING ENGINE REVVING)

1638
01:18:04,147 --> 01:18:05,915
Who rises from
beneath the stage?

1639
01:18:05,915 --> 01:18:07,350
Who?
Jesus.

1640
01:18:07,350 --> 01:18:09,719
The guy with the best hair
in the business.

1641
01:18:09,719 --> 01:18:11,755
Paxton Harding!
Yeah.

1642
01:18:11,755 --> 01:18:14,023
In the goddamn Bandit Car...

1643
01:18:14,023 --> 01:18:16,592
What?
T-top, golden eagle on the hood.

1644
01:18:16,592 --> 01:18:20,496
And the word is,
it's one of only
five used in the movie.

1645
01:18:20,496 --> 01:18:24,667
And the girls, they love it.
And you want to know why?

1646
01:18:24,667 --> 01:18:26,069
Yeah. 'Cause we're good.

1647
01:18:26,069 --> 01:18:27,603
You're goddamn right,
you're good.

1648
01:18:27,603 --> 01:18:32,308
You, my friend, are a full-blown
rock star in that car.

1649
01:18:32,308 --> 01:18:34,477
Holy shit.
He might have him.

1650
01:18:34,477 --> 01:18:38,181
I feel like I'm watching
a wonder of nature,

1651
01:18:38,181 --> 01:18:40,116
like a blue whale giving birth

1652
01:18:40,116 --> 01:18:42,752
or a pig going down
on a hyena.

1653
01:18:42,752 --> 01:18:45,755
You know, Paxton,

1654
01:18:45,755 --> 01:18:47,991
a man much wiser than myself
once said that

1655
01:18:47,991 --> 01:18:51,861
most men lead lives
of quiet desperation.

1656
01:18:51,861 --> 01:18:55,832
Now, do not silence Big Ups
before the girls,

1657
01:18:55,832 --> 01:18:57,266
nay,

1658
01:18:57,266 --> 01:19:01,270
the world, has heard
the first verse.

1659
01:19:01,270 --> 01:19:03,773
Pump, pump.

1660
01:19:03,773 --> 01:19:05,842
Pump, pump.

1661
01:19:05,842 --> 01:19:08,144
Pump, pump.

1662
01:19:08,144 --> 01:19:09,412
How much for the Trans Am?

1663
01:19:09,412 --> 01:19:11,480
200 grand. I'll give it
to you for 80.

1664
01:19:11,480 --> 01:19:14,550
No payments till January.
I'll take it!

1665
01:19:14,550 --> 01:19:15,551
He did it!

1666
01:19:15,551 --> 01:19:18,087
(ALL CHEERING)

1667
01:19:26,462 --> 01:19:29,332
Who just got 80 grand
for that prop, huh?

1668
01:19:29,332 --> 01:19:31,200
* Big Ups! *
* Big Ups! *

1669
01:19:31,200 --> 01:19:34,337
This is the new band car!

1670
01:19:34,337 --> 01:19:35,538
RICKY: Yeah!

1671
01:19:35,538 --> 01:19:37,673
Get it down!

1672
01:19:37,673 --> 01:19:43,012
Hey, Brent, we would've
had a wonderful weekend
up at that cabin, huh?

1673
01:19:43,012 --> 01:19:46,415
You know what? I'm gonna fucking
knock you out.

1674
01:19:46,415 --> 01:19:48,117
You already have.

1675
01:19:48,117 --> 01:19:50,353
Basically, I have to
carpe diem here, Ivy.

1676
01:19:54,290 --> 01:19:55,424
See you!

1677
01:19:57,093 --> 01:19:59,896
Well, it's official.
I am single.

1678
01:19:59,896 --> 01:20:02,265
I'm sorry, Ivy.
I was just selling a car.

1679
01:20:02,265 --> 01:20:04,233
Are you?
Are you really sorry, Don?

1680
01:20:04,233 --> 01:20:06,569
Okay, you got me,
I'm not sorry.
You know what?

1681
01:20:06,569 --> 01:20:08,938
Paxton and the Bandit Car
were just parked on the spot

1682
01:20:08,938 --> 01:20:11,407
where I intend to
plant some roots.

1683
01:20:13,276 --> 01:20:14,944
You hear that, team?
What?

1684
01:20:14,944 --> 01:20:16,179
What, honey?

1685
01:20:16,179 --> 01:20:17,813
Cutting up
the Hacienda Court card.

1686
01:20:17,813 --> 01:20:19,782
Yep. I'm settling in Temecula.

1687
01:20:19,782 --> 01:20:21,650
Don!
Yep.

1688
01:20:21,650 --> 01:20:23,953
I've been doing
a lot of thinking
about friends and family,

1689
01:20:23,953 --> 01:20:25,488
and I decided that
I can't care for them

1690
01:20:25,488 --> 01:20:29,058
as much on the road,
so I'm settling here.

1691
01:20:29,058 --> 01:20:30,059
Speaking of family,
where's Blake?

1692
01:20:30,059 --> 01:20:31,827
Right here, Don.

1693
01:20:31,827 --> 01:20:33,029
Come here, Son.

1694
01:20:33,029 --> 01:20:34,864
Now, your father,

1695
01:20:34,864 --> 01:20:37,100
he can't do anything about
the past, but I'll tell you

1696
01:20:37,100 --> 01:20:39,402
I can guarantee you I will
always be there for you
in the future, all right?

1697
01:20:39,402 --> 01:20:41,971
Don, I'm like a foot
taller than you.

1698
01:20:41,971 --> 01:20:43,739
(WHISTLES)

1699
01:20:43,739 --> 01:20:45,674
Hug your father.

1700
01:20:45,674 --> 01:20:47,944
Come here, Son. There we go.

1701
01:20:47,944 --> 01:20:50,279
Thanks, Dad. Daddy.

1702
01:20:50,279 --> 01:20:55,318
I love it. As far as
the beautiful Ivy Selleck
is concerned, she's it for me.

1703
01:20:55,318 --> 01:20:56,485
(ALL EXCLAIMING)

1704
01:20:56,485 --> 01:20:57,620
She's the one.

1705
01:20:57,620 --> 01:20:59,588
That was just
a one-night stand, buddy.

1706
01:20:59,588 --> 01:21:00,924
No, no, you're my woman.

1707
01:21:00,924 --> 01:21:02,225
That's my son.
Don't overthink it.

1708
01:21:02,225 --> 01:21:04,193
Now, if someone went
and made a beer run,

1709
01:21:04,193 --> 01:21:08,097
I think we'd have
everything we need
for a goddamn kickass party.

1710
01:21:08,097 --> 01:21:10,799
DJ! Play We Are Family
by Sister Sledge!

1711
01:21:10,799 --> 01:21:12,301
Drop it!
Finally!

1712
01:21:12,301 --> 01:21:13,602
Somebody hit the nail
on the head.

1713
01:21:13,602 --> 01:21:15,671
That's
what I'm talking about.

1714
01:21:15,671 --> 01:21:17,073
That is a perfect song.

1715
01:21:17,073 --> 01:21:20,076
(DEAD PUPPIES
AREN'T MUCH FUN PLAYING)

1716
01:21:20,076 --> 01:21:21,344
What the fuck?

1717
01:21:21,344 --> 01:21:23,879
I warned you over and over
again

1718
01:21:23,879 --> 01:21:27,016
not to tell me
how to do my job.

1719
01:21:27,016 --> 01:21:30,186
You brought this on yourself.
Are you happy?

1720
01:21:30,186 --> 01:21:32,721
Just play a good song!

1721
01:21:32,721 --> 01:21:34,890
You got it, friend!

1722
01:21:34,890 --> 01:21:36,926
(CAUGHT UP IN YOU PLAYING)

1723
01:21:43,366 --> 01:21:46,702
Hey, McDermott, we did it.
A happy ending!

1724
01:21:46,702 --> 01:21:49,805
Yeah, if you call selling cars
in Temecula a happy ending.

1725
01:21:49,805 --> 01:21:55,811
ANGELS: * Temecula is not
even motherfucking Fresno *

1726
01:21:55,811 --> 01:21:57,146
(GRUNTS)

1727
01:21:57,146 --> 01:21:58,547
Well, I'm gonna
make the most of it.

1728
01:21:58,547 --> 01:22:01,184
Ivy Selleck, come here.

1729
01:22:02,718 --> 01:22:04,320
(SALESMAN WHOOPING)

1730
01:22:04,320 --> 01:22:08,224
* So caught up in you,
little girl

1731
01:22:08,224 --> 01:22:11,294
* And I never did
suspect a thing

1732
01:22:11,294 --> 01:22:15,464
* So caught up in you,
little girl

1733
01:22:15,464 --> 01:22:18,834
* That I never want
to get myself free

1734
01:22:18,834 --> 01:22:24,207
* And, baby, it's true,
you're the one
who caught me

1735
01:22:24,207 --> 01:22:28,377
* Baby, you taught me
how good it could be

1736
01:22:31,280 --> 01:22:35,084
* It took so long to
change my mind

1737
01:22:36,385 --> 01:22:38,487
* I thought that love
was a game

1738
01:22:38,487 --> 01:22:42,591
* I played around enough
to find

1739
01:22:43,892 --> 01:22:45,728
* No two are ever the same

1740
01:22:45,728 --> 01:22:49,398
* You made me realize
the love I missed

1741
01:22:49,398 --> 01:22:52,801
* So hot
Love I couldn't quite resist

1742
01:22:52,801 --> 01:22:58,407
* When it's right,
the light just comes
shining through

1743
01:22:58,407 --> 01:23:02,778
* So caught up in you,
little girl

1744
01:23:02,778 --> 01:23:05,748
* You're the one
that's got me down
on my knees

1745
01:23:05,748 --> 01:23:10,253
* So caught up in you,
little girl

1746
01:23:10,253 --> 01:23:13,222
* That I never want
to get myself free

1747
01:23:13,222 --> 01:23:16,425
* And, baby, it's true,
you're the... *

1748
01:23:17,293 --> 01:23:19,495
(THE GOODS PLAYING)

1749
01:23:29,572 --> 01:23:34,043
* When he walks
through the door

1750
01:23:34,043 --> 01:23:37,913
* Reads a room
like a mall dick

1751
01:23:37,913 --> 01:23:43,119
* He's got a pimp walk
and a gangster lean

1752
01:23:43,119 --> 01:23:48,324
* Ripping up shit
like Chang Kai-shek

1753
01:23:48,324 --> 01:23:52,361
* And one thing I know, baby

1754
01:23:52,361 --> 01:23:55,264
* I'll tell you for sure

1755
01:23:55,264 --> 01:23:58,367
* He's got the goods, baby

1756
01:23:59,502 --> 01:24:02,405
* He's got the goods

1757
01:24:04,140 --> 01:24:07,076
* He's got the goods, baby

1758
01:24:07,076 --> 01:24:12,548
* Hey, hey
He's got the goods

1759
01:24:12,548 --> 01:24:17,320
* Got a Hyundai for the valet

1760
01:24:17,320 --> 01:24:21,324
* A Hyundai for the bartender

1761
01:24:21,324 --> 01:24:25,694
* Every bill is crisp
and sweet

1762
01:24:25,694 --> 01:24:29,365
* This cat ain't no pretender

1763
01:24:31,267 --> 01:24:34,137
* And one thing
I'll tell you, baby

1764
01:24:35,371 --> 01:24:38,207
* And one thing for sure

1765
01:24:38,207 --> 01:24:41,377
* He's got the goods, baby

1766
01:24:42,478 --> 01:24:45,214
* He's got the goods

1767
01:24:46,582 --> 01:24:49,818
* He's got the goods, baby

1768
01:24:49,818 --> 01:24:54,123
* Oh, Lord,
he's got the goods

1769
01:24:55,424 --> 01:25:00,028
* Whoa, a life
of turning pages

1770
01:25:00,028 --> 01:25:04,167
* Alimony and garnished wages

1771
01:25:04,167 --> 01:25:08,671
* And Greyhound bound
Oh, yeah

1772
01:25:08,671 --> 01:25:12,641
* She hits the door
and he starts to pop

1773
01:25:12,641 --> 01:25:15,678
* He's got the goods, baby

1774
01:25:16,879 --> 01:25:19,548
* He's got the goods

1775
01:25:21,217 --> 01:25:24,453
* He's got the goods, baby

1776
01:25:24,453 --> 01:25:29,758
* Oh, Lord,
he's got the goods

1777
01:25:29,758 --> 01:25:34,597
* He can sell a priest
a rubber and the farmers corn

1778
01:25:34,597 --> 01:25:38,334
* Went soul from some attitude
before he was born

1779
01:25:38,334 --> 01:25:40,436
* He's got the goods
from your mama

1780
01:25:40,436 --> 01:25:43,239
* He's got the girl in a cage

1781
01:25:43,239 --> 01:25:47,376
* Looking mighty fine
Loving in a rage

1782
01:25:47,376 --> 01:25:51,146
* He's got the goods, baby
Ha!

1783
01:25:51,146 --> 01:25:53,716
* He's got the goods

1784
01:25:54,783 --> 01:25:57,853
* Oh, he's got the goods, baby

1785
01:25:59,188 --> 01:26:02,925
* Yeah, he's got the goods

1786
01:26:02,925 --> 01:26:06,028
* Uh-huh

1787
01:26:06,028 --> 01:26:08,764
* One thing I tell you, baby

1788
01:26:10,065 --> 01:26:12,468
* One thing's for sure

1789
01:26:12,468 --> 01:26:14,603
* He's got the goods *

1790
01:26:17,640 --> 01:26:20,376
* Hey, Ma, you've been
straight tripping lately

1791
01:26:20,376 --> 01:26:22,411
* All blowing on my phone

1792
01:26:22,411 --> 01:26:26,682
* So Ricky the Rick,
Jay-Jay, Paxton are here
to set the record straight

1793
01:26:26,682 --> 01:26:30,486
* Baby, don't you
sweat my love

1794
01:26:30,486 --> 01:26:35,491
* We go together
like hand and glove

1795
01:26:35,491 --> 01:26:39,528
* But if you ever
leave my side

1796
01:26:39,528 --> 01:26:44,633
* You know I'm taking back
my pimped out ride

1797
01:26:44,633 --> 01:26:48,671
* But, baby, if you are true

1798
01:26:48,671 --> 01:26:51,774
* I'll keep doin' it, oh

1799
01:26:51,774 --> 01:26:54,577
* Doin' it, right there,
to you

1800
01:26:54,577 --> 01:27:01,216
* Doin' it, doin' it, doin' it

1801
01:27:01,216 --> 01:27:03,919
* Doin' it to you *

1802
01:27:13,562 --> 01:27:20,869
* I grab hold of you
and you grind your hips

1803
01:27:20,869 --> 01:27:27,710
* Do it on top,
then we do it from behind

1804
01:27:27,710 --> 01:27:34,082
* Sometimes we like
to use some ice

1805
01:27:34,082 --> 01:27:40,188
* Baby, don't you think
that it's time?

1806
01:27:40,188 --> 01:27:45,928
* Let's make a baby,
but do it real slow

1807
01:27:47,630 --> 01:27:54,537
* Let's make a baby
You know it feels so good

1808
01:27:54,537 --> 01:27:59,742
* Let's make a baby, tonight

1809
01:27:59,742 --> 01:28:01,610
* Oh, tonight,
tonight, tonight

1810
01:28:01,610 --> 01:28:05,180
* Let's make a baby
* Let's make a baby

1811
01:28:05,180 --> 01:28:08,384
* And do it real slow

1812
01:28:08,384 --> 01:28:11,654
* Let's make a baby
* Let's make a baby

1813
01:28:11,654 --> 01:28:15,758
* You know it feels so good

1814
01:28:15,758 --> 01:28:18,293
* Let's make a baby

1815
01:28:18,293 --> 01:28:19,395
* Can you help me make a baby?

1816
01:28:19,395 --> 01:28:21,430
* Let's make a baby

1817
01:28:21,430 --> 01:28:23,165
* Oh, can you help me?

1818
01:28:23,165 --> 01:28:25,167
* Let's make a baby *

1819
01:28:25,167 --> 01:28:27,536
You don't want to know what
happened in 'Querque.

1820
01:28:27,536 --> 01:28:29,204
Actually, I do.

1821
01:28:29,204 --> 01:28:30,939
You don't want to know what
happened in 'Querque.

1822
01:28:30,939 --> 01:28:32,441
Actually, I do.

1823
01:28:32,441 --> 01:28:34,377
You don't want to know what
happened in 'Querque.

1824
01:28:34,377 --> 01:28:36,044
Actually, I do.

1825
01:28:36,044 --> 01:28:38,046
You don't want to know what
happened in 'Querque.

1826
01:28:38,046 --> 01:28:39,682
Actually, I do.

1827
01:28:39,682 --> 01:28:41,884
You don't want to know what
happened in 'Querque.

1828
01:28:41,884 --> 01:28:43,318
Actually, I do.

1829
01:28:43,318 --> 01:28:45,521
You don't want to know what
happened in 'Querque.

1830
01:28:45,521 --> 01:28:47,155
Actually, I do.

1831
01:28:47,155 --> 01:28:49,191
You don't want to know what
happened in 'Querque.

1832
01:28:49,191 --> 01:28:50,859
Actually, I do.

1833
01:28:50,859 --> 01:28:52,828
You don't want to know what
happened in 'Querque.

1834
01:28:52,828 --> 01:28:54,262
Actually, I do.

1835
01:28:54,262 --> 01:28:56,198
You don't want to know what
happened in 'Querque.

1836
01:28:56,198 --> 01:28:57,866
Actually, I do.

1837
01:28:57,866 --> 01:29:00,268
You don't want to know what
happened in 'Querque.

1838
01:29:00,268 --> 01:29:01,770
Actually, I do.