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[♪♪ The Barber of Seville ♪♪]
[ by Rossini ]
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Figaro, Figaro, Figaro,
Figaro, Figaro, Figaro,
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Figaro, Figaro, Figaro,
Figaro, Figaro, Figaro.
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Figaro!
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Son qua.
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Hey, Figaro!
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Son qua.
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Figaro qua, Figaro là,
Figaro qua, Figaro là,
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Figaro su, Figaro giù,
Figaro su, Figaro giù.
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Pronto prontissimo, son come il fulmine,
sono il factotum della città.
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Della città, della città,
della città, della città.
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Phew!
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Ah bravo Figaro, bravo bravissimo,
ah bravo Figaro, bravo bravissimo.
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A te fortuna, a te fortuna,
a te fortuna non mancherà.
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La la la la la la, la la la la la la,
la la la la la la, la la la la.
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A te fortuna, a te fortuna,
a te fortuna non mancherà.
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Sono il factotum della città.
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Sono il factotum della città.
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Della città, della città.
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Della città.
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Oops!
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Salutations, snack.
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Yipe.
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On second thought...
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Yiiipe!
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9-1-1!
9-1-1!
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Police! Civic authorities!
ASPCA! ASAP!
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Murder! Betrayal!
Kidnapped!
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No, birdnapped!
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A cup of garlic,
a twist of parakeet.
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Eat your heart out, Julia Child.
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Excuse me.
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But isn't it customary for the jailbird
to get one telephone call?
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In your case, I think not.
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Afternoon snacks have few civil liberties.
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But I'm not wholly without heart.
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How about a nice soothing cigarette?
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Pah! Pah!
Pah! Agh!
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Ugh!
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Oh, I will not do this.
I cannot!
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Oh, what a foul way for a bird to die!
I don't want to get beak cancer.
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No! My lungs are blackened!
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Here we go again.
Cut, cut, cut! Roll it back.
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- Help me...
- What are you doing? Daniel...
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That line is not in the script.
Why did you add it?
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Well, I thought I should
comment on the situation.
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What situation?
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The fact that Pudgie the parrot has
a cigarette shoved into his mouth
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- is morally irresponsible.
- This is a cartoon, okay?
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This is not a friggin'
Oprah Winfrey Special.
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Lou, millions of kids see this cartoon.
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It's like sending each one of them
a pack of cigarettes and saying "Light up."
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You can't put words in Pudgie's mouth
if his mouth isn't moving.
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Well, it's voice-over.
An interior monologue.
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Maybe even the voice of God.
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Pudgie, don't smoke.
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- Actors.
- What?
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Well, let's ask the technicians.
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You think it's morally right to promote
smoking to the youth of America?
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They're biased.
That's a mistrial.
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Daniel, listen to me.
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This session is costing the studio
thousands of dollars.
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Now, if you want a paycheck,
stick to the script.
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If you want to play Gandhi,
then do it on somebody else's time.
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Then I've got to do
what I've got to do.
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That's pretty funny.
Where the hell are you goin'?
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Hey, listen buddy. I'll tell you something.
If you leave, you're not comin' back in.
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I'm not takin' any crap from you, pal.
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Well, in the words of Porky Pig:
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P-P-P-P... P-P-P-P-P
Piss off, Lou.
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- So what about that history test?
- Don't ask.
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- Did you have fun in school?
- I painted a picture...
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- Oh, yeah?
- of a... of a rainbow.
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- Dad?
- Dad?
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Daddy!
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Daddy!
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Yow!
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Oh!
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- I thought you couldn't pick us up.
- Well, I got off early.
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- You mean you got fired?
- No, I quit.
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For reasons of conscience.
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Actors?
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Hey dude!
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Congratulations on
your 12th birthday, all right.
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Got a surprise for you.
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- A stripper?
- Ooh, please!
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- Two strippers?
- Hoo-hah, boy!
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- A party?
- Yes!
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- No.
- Yes.
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- Yes.
- No parties.
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Mom said you couldn't have one
because of your report card.
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Mom's not gonna be home
for another four hours, is she?
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Prepare yourself...
for the wild kingdom. Huh?
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What?
No, no, no.
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Coming up toward the very end.
There she goes. And she wins that race.
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Come on off now.
Here we go. Ohh!
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You want to feed him?
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Look!
See if this guy will.
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Want some?
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Oops, oops.
Sorry.
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Shoo!
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Get out!
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Shoo!
Shoo!
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- Gregory, Henderson and Hillard.
- Miranda Hillard, please.
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I know what you're going for
with these murals,
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but perhaps if they weren't so large.
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And let's do steel windows, not wood.
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Uh huh.
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Eliminate the Oriental rug.
Let's try an Aubusson carpet.
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More pink than red.
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- I like that.
- Good idea.
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Union Square Inn.
Ah, this is better.
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More Arts and Crafts.
A Dirk Van Erp lamp, a Stickley chair.
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Don't be seduced by chintz.
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Excuse me. Miranda,
can I speak to you for a minute?
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- Yes. Excuse me.
- Certainly.
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Just be one minute.
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I just got off the phone
with a Stuart Dunmeyer.
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- Stuart Dunmeyer?
- Uh huh.
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He said you were acquaintances.
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- Stuart Dunmeyer?
- Yeah. He's putting millions of dollars
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into restoring that old
Wellman mansion on Nob Hill.
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He wants to make it into
a $500-a-night B&B.
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Yes, I read about it.
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- He's been doing very well.
- Uh huh. That's him.
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And he specifically asked for you, Miranda.
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- He did?
- Yep.
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So, I told him you'd get in touch
with him first thing tomorrow.
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Yes, I will.
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Miss Hillard?
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The operator has a Gloria Chaney on hold.
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- She says it's an emergency.
- Excuse me.
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Gloria?
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- Oh, my God!
- Is this your residence, ma'am?
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Yes.
I'm sorry to say it is.
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Are you aware that
it's illegal to possess
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animals of the barnyard nature
in a residential area, ma'am?
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What if you're married to one?
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Also, we're responding to
a noise ordinance violation.
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Believe, I'm going to respond myself.
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I'm awfully sorry about this.
I'll get back with you.
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You ate my begonias!
God!
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Get out of my way!
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Oh, shoo!
Get! Get!
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Hah!
146
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Miranda!
Whassup?
147
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You're home early, girlfriend.
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Havin' a birthday in the house.
149
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What the hell is going on around here?
150
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Don't get mad, honey.
Listen.
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You're home a little early.
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I-I was gonna have everything
clean up before you got home.
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Honey...
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What-what?
Honey, what are you looking for?
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Honey, I-I'd be careful.
That pony had a lot of water.
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Ugh!
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Party's over.
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Oh, that's great. She called you,
you bust the birthday party. That's great!
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Don't you dare make me out
to be the monster here, Daniel!
160
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Don't you dare!
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You have all the fun and
I get whatever's left over.
162
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Oh, you chose the career, Mrs...
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00:10:00,595 --> 00:10:03,362
I have no choices here, Daniel.
I have no choices!
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Even when I try to do something fun,
you have to do it ten times bigger!
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00:10:07,093 --> 00:10:08,876
I bring home a birthday cake
and a few gifts,
166
00:10:08,936 --> 00:10:12,326
You bring home the goddamn San Diego Zoo
and I have to clean up after!
167
00:10:12,366 --> 00:10:15,185
Oh, I'm sorry. But, it's not toxic waste,
just a few party plates, huh!
168
00:10:15,211 --> 00:10:18,040
Why am I the only one
that feels there has to be rules?
169
00:10:18,213 --> 00:10:20,603
Why do you always
make me out to be the heavy?
170
00:10:20,649 --> 00:10:23,621
Well, I don't make you to be anything.
You do it yourself quite naturally.
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00:10:23,654 --> 00:10:25,681
- You set me up, Daniel, every time...
- I don't.
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00:10:25,715 --> 00:10:27,625
- to be the bad guy.
- Oh, lighten up, will you?
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00:10:27,678 --> 00:10:30,545
Just realize you're spending
too much time with those corporate clones
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you used to despise.
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00:10:31,831 --> 00:10:34,800
I spend too much time with you, Daniel.
It's over!
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00:10:34,861 --> 00:10:36,960
It's over.
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00:10:38,801 --> 00:10:39,997
Come on, Miranda.
178
00:10:40,031 --> 00:10:41,764
Listen, We've got problems,
but who doesn't?
179
00:10:41,804 --> 00:10:44,171
We could work 'em out.
What are you talking about, it's over?
180
00:10:44,204 --> 00:10:47,344
We've been trying to work them out
for 14 years.
181
00:10:47,558 --> 00:10:48,938
Come on, please.
182
00:10:48,998 --> 00:10:52,218
Listen.
Maybe, we need some help, OK?
183
00:10:52,644 --> 00:10:55,678
Maybe, we can go to a family therapist.
They'll help us pull through this together.
184
00:10:55,726 --> 00:10:57,636
It's too late for that.
185
00:10:57,922 --> 00:11:01,976
Well, let's take a vacation together
with the kids, as a family.
186
00:11:02,015 --> 00:11:03,075
Get you away from work.
187
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:06,089
You're a different person,
you really are. You're great.
188
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:09,629
Oh, Daniel. Our problems would be
waiting for us when we got back.
189
00:11:09,769 --> 00:11:13,129
We'll move, and hopefully
our damn problems won't follow us.
190
00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:15,765
Daniel, please don't joke.
191
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:17,799
OK.
192
00:11:20,084 --> 00:11:25,037
We... We've just grown apart.
We're different.
193
00:11:25,344 --> 00:11:30,127
- We have nothing in common.
- Oh, sure we do. We love each other.
194
00:11:35,577 --> 00:11:39,150
Come on, Miranda.
We love each other.
195
00:11:43,421 --> 00:11:44,851
Don't we?
196
00:11:49,788 --> 00:11:51,847
I want a divorce.
197
00:11:53,226 --> 00:11:54,276
No.
198
00:12:01,412 --> 00:12:03,925
We can't.
We're a family.
199
00:12:04,026 --> 00:12:05,538
You know?
200
00:12:06,707 --> 00:12:08,565
I'm so sorry.
201
00:12:48,491 --> 00:12:51,177
Yeah, Ma.
He told me all about it.
202
00:12:52,044 --> 00:12:54,591
Yeah, Ma.
I heard, I heard.
203
00:12:54,651 --> 00:12:55,993
I want to talk to him.
What...
204
00:12:56,066 --> 00:12:59,035
- Well, yeah, he's here.
- No.
205
00:12:59,273 --> 00:13:00,120
Frank?
206
00:13:00,206 --> 00:13:01,853
Ma, he's not really in the mood to talk.
207
00:13:01,893 --> 00:13:03,025
He's depressed or what?
208
00:13:03,065 --> 00:13:06,572
Yeah, depressed. You know?
I mean, his marriage is ending.
209
00:13:06,652 --> 00:13:09,842
My marriage is not ending.
It's just on hiatus.
210
00:13:09,942 --> 00:13:13,155
Talk to him. I mean I do.
I really want to talk to him.
211
00:13:13,316 --> 00:13:15,686
Ma, I think he's in a little bit of denial.
212
00:13:15,786 --> 00:13:18,296
No, we're taking
good care of your little boy.
213
00:13:18,349 --> 00:13:19,502
Don't worry, Mom.
214
00:13:19,554 --> 00:13:22,696
- Hi, Evelyn. Thanks for the jam.
- She says you're welcome.
215
00:13:22,746 --> 00:13:23,932
Oh, I don't know.
216
00:13:23,972 --> 00:13:26,839
Uh, that beige concealer.
You know, when are we gettin' more of it?
217
00:13:26,892 --> 00:13:29,299
- Next week.
- You hear that, Ma? Next week.
218
00:13:29,341 --> 00:13:30,980
- Well, I'm so glad.
- Wait, hang on.
219
00:13:31,020 --> 00:13:33,616
- Enough already. It's a man.
- How would you know?
220
00:13:33,750 --> 00:13:35,876
- Bitch.
- This is your mother you're talking to.
221
00:13:35,910 --> 00:13:38,530
No, Ma, not you.
I was talkin' about the dog.
222
00:13:39,616 --> 00:13:40,973
Ma, listen. Uh...
223
00:13:41,009 --> 00:13:43,169
- We got people waiting for us on the set.
- Same thing all the time.
224
00:13:43,209 --> 00:13:44,601
Oh, yeah.
It's a busy life, Ma.
225
00:13:44,628 --> 00:13:47,428
- Places to go, faces to paint.
- I know. But, tell Daniel that I...
226
00:13:47,484 --> 00:13:49,384
- Yeah, I'll tell him, Ma.
- I wanted to come...
227
00:13:49,479 --> 00:13:51,372
- Don't worry, I'll tell him.
- I would love it.
228
00:13:51,424 --> 00:13:52,947
Yeah. Hold on, Ma.
229
00:13:53,014 --> 00:13:55,920
She wants to know
if you want to come stay with her.
230
00:13:55,980 --> 00:13:57,630
No way.
231
00:13:57,790 --> 00:13:59,850
He says he'll think about it, Ma.
232
00:14:00,761 --> 00:14:02,923
- I will. All right. I love you, too.
- Love you.
233
00:14:03,033 --> 00:14:05,093
- Bye, Ma.
- Bye-bye.
234
00:14:05,648 --> 00:14:09,558
Hey, listen, you know you could always
stay with us just as long as you want.
235
00:14:10,424 --> 00:14:12,487
Thank you. But I'm OK, really.
236
00:14:12,534 --> 00:14:15,034
I mean, this is...
this is just a temporary thing.
237
00:14:15,094 --> 00:14:18,180
I know Miranda.
It's gonna blow over.
238
00:14:22,382 --> 00:14:28,123
Mr and Mrs Hillard, although these custody
proceedings tend to favor the mother,
239
00:14:28,286 --> 00:14:31,326
we also realize,
perhaps now more than ever,
240
00:14:31,380 --> 00:14:33,352
that it is not in a child's best interest
241
00:14:33,398 --> 00:14:37,445
to deprive him or her
of an obviously loving father.
242
00:14:38,434 --> 00:14:40,421
However, since at the present time
243
00:14:40,455 --> 00:14:44,468
Mr Hillard has no place to live
and no employment,...
244
00:14:45,261 --> 00:14:49,502
it is the court's ruling
to award sole custody to Mrs Hillard.
245
00:14:49,612 --> 00:14:51,604
- Congratulations.
- No.
246
00:14:51,791 --> 00:14:55,187
Mr Hillard will have
visitation rights every Saturday.
247
00:14:55,621 --> 00:14:57,947
- Can't you do something?
- He's made his decision.
248
00:14:58,001 --> 00:15:00,851
Isn't it traditional to say
"I object" or something?
249
00:15:01,351 --> 00:15:03,644
Your Honor, please.
250
00:15:04,464 --> 00:15:06,887
You mean, every Saturday?
That's one day a week.
251
00:15:06,961 --> 00:15:08,534
That's not enough.
252
00:15:09,107 --> 00:15:11,187
I have to be with my children.
253
00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:14,460
It's not a question, really. I mean,
I have to be with them, sir. Please.
254
00:15:14,671 --> 00:15:18,161
I know it seems like a lot,
but for me it's not enough. Really.
255
00:15:18,271 --> 00:15:19,741
I haven't been away from 'em
256
00:15:19,801 --> 00:15:22,694
for more than one day
since the day they were born.
257
00:15:23,001 --> 00:15:26,211
Mr Hillard, I would like to add that
this ruling is only temporary.
258
00:15:26,251 --> 00:15:27,011
Oh, good.
259
00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:30,017
I will assign a court liaison
to oversee your case.
260
00:15:30,137 --> 00:15:33,127
And there will be a continuance
of these proceedings in 90 days.
261
00:15:33,594 --> 00:15:36,404
- I'm giving you three months, Mr Hillard.
- Thank you.
262
00:15:36,510 --> 00:15:41,330
Three months in which to get a job,
keep it and create a suitable home.
263
00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:44,091
If this proves to be a possibility for you,
264
00:15:44,231 --> 00:15:48,360
I will consider a joint-custody
arrangement when we reconvene.
265
00:15:48,507 --> 00:15:50,146
We're adjourned.
266
00:15:51,139 --> 00:15:54,842
Well, it looks like there is a little light
at the end of our tunnel, heh?
267
00:16:25,394 --> 00:16:29,009
- That's all my stuff.
- This is all my fault.
268
00:16:29,269 --> 00:16:31,908
God, no.
Why would you think that?
269
00:16:32,048 --> 00:16:34,538
I should have never had a birthday, Dad.
270
00:16:34,678 --> 00:16:37,548
- This never would have happened.
- Yes, it would.
271
00:16:37,678 --> 00:16:40,918
It was an accident waiting to happen, OK?
272
00:16:41,048 --> 00:16:43,549
You did nothing wrong.
You got that?
273
00:16:44,664 --> 00:16:46,724
OK, gimme five.
274
00:16:53,467 --> 00:16:55,487
You're the man of the house now.
275
00:16:55,667 --> 00:16:57,687
Don't be messy.
OK?
276
00:16:58,868 --> 00:17:02,224
- You can't go now.
- Honey, I have to.
277
00:17:02,508 --> 00:17:07,277
We're in the middle of Charlotte's Web.
Who's gonna finish it?
278
00:17:07,947 --> 00:17:10,597
Well, Grandma will finish it for you.
279
00:17:12,157 --> 00:17:13,257
She's not as good.
280
00:17:13,304 --> 00:17:17,384
She always skips parts,
and she never does the voices.
281
00:17:17,477 --> 00:17:19,437
She smells funny, too.
282
00:17:19,887 --> 00:17:24,416
That's the formaldehyde.
That's why Granny's so well preserved.
283
00:17:25,150 --> 00:17:27,436
Hey, come here.
284
00:17:27,868 --> 00:17:29,481
Oh, oh.
Heh.
285
00:17:29,681 --> 00:17:34,067
It's the same as always.
We just have a really big backyard, OK?
286
00:17:34,167 --> 00:17:37,136
- I love you.
- I love you.
287
00:17:39,077 --> 00:17:40,184
OK.
288
00:17:40,362 --> 00:17:41,918
I'll miss you.
289
00:17:42,279 --> 00:17:44,726
Saturday comes real quickly.
290
00:17:45,946 --> 00:17:47,409
I'll miss you.
291
00:17:48,116 --> 00:17:49,463
Ditto.
292
00:17:49,669 --> 00:17:51,169
Oh, Dad...
293
00:17:53,836 --> 00:17:56,336
- Take care of her.
- OK.
294
00:17:57,955 --> 00:17:59,381
Goodbye.
295
00:18:05,435 --> 00:18:07,351
Thanks for the time, warden.
296
00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:14,957
Bye, Dad.
297
00:18:35,427 --> 00:18:38,876
As your court liaison,
I will be looking at two things...
298
00:18:39,074 --> 00:18:43,273
- Your living environment...
- It's more like a habitat, really.
299
00:18:44,623 --> 00:18:50,209
And I will be coming by on Monday
and Friday evenings to inspect it.
300
00:18:50,274 --> 00:18:52,244
Well, I'll put on a chicken.
301
00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:55,104
Of course, there's always the job issue.
302
00:18:55,172 --> 00:18:57,742
This is the nearest employment office.
303
00:18:57,809 --> 00:19:00,822
I've taken the liberty of making
an appointment for you.
304
00:19:00,877 --> 00:19:01,667
Thank you.
305
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:04,800
Oh, by the way,
do you have any special skills?
306
00:19:04,847 --> 00:19:06,420
Oh, yes. I do.
307
00:19:06,476 --> 00:19:08,496
I...I do voices.
308
00:19:09,420 --> 00:19:11,836
What do you mean that you do voices?
309
00:19:12,402 --> 00:19:14,898
Well, I do voices.
310
00:19:14,962 --> 00:19:15,831
Yes!
311
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:17,938
We're on this planet
looking for intelligent life.
312
00:19:17,985 --> 00:19:18,952
Oops, we made a mistake!
313
00:19:18,992 --> 00:19:22,303
We're happy to be in America.
Don't ask for a green card.
314
00:19:22,365 --> 00:19:24,912
I want you in the worst way.
315
00:19:24,968 --> 00:19:26,468
Well, this is certainly a rough meeting.
316
00:19:26,501 --> 00:19:28,762
And it's not going very well for me,
I tell you that.
317
00:19:28,808 --> 00:19:32,451
Hey, boss, give her a chance.
She's gonna loosen up any moment.
318
00:19:32,531 --> 00:19:34,251
Look at me right now, Moneypenny.
319
00:19:34,384 --> 00:19:36,398
I want to undo that bow
and get to know you.
320
00:19:36,522 --> 00:19:39,122
I'm crazy to make a deal with you!
321
00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:42,092
Nancy and I are still looking for
the other half of my head.
322
00:19:42,142 --> 00:19:46,005
They're doin' it!
I'm sittin' on a gold mine!
323
00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:48,462
Don't make me smack you, sweetheart.
I ought to do it.
324
00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:51,722
I do a great impression of a hot dog.
325
00:19:54,671 --> 00:19:57,271
Mr Hillard, do you
consider yourself humorous?
326
00:19:57,371 --> 00:19:59,127
I used to.
327
00:19:59,294 --> 00:20:02,672
There was a time when I found myself funny.
328
00:20:02,727 --> 00:20:05,912
But today you have proven me wrong.
Thank you.
329
00:20:08,221 --> 00:20:10,311
Listen, bottom line...
330
00:20:11,151 --> 00:20:13,067
I need to be with my children.
331
00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:15,047
And I'll do anything to do that.
332
00:20:15,130 --> 00:20:16,621
You just tell me what to do.
333
00:20:35,223 --> 00:20:36,330
- Excuse me.
- Yeah.
334
00:20:36,397 --> 00:20:37,764
- You Tony?
- That's me.
335
00:20:37,843 --> 00:20:40,326
Hi. I'm Daniel Hillard, the actor.
336
00:20:42,333 --> 00:20:43,726
Follow me.
337
00:20:46,961 --> 00:20:50,789
Oh, films! Will I be
introducing these movies on air?
338
00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:53,359
- Not exactly.
- What do I do?
339
00:20:53,459 --> 00:20:56,689
Well, you take all these cans.
You box 'em and you ship 'em.
340
00:20:56,799 --> 00:21:00,569
Then you box those cans over there.
Ship them. Then more of them will come in.
341
00:21:00,769 --> 00:21:03,400
You box those, you ship those.
342
00:21:03,472 --> 00:21:04,728
Any questions?
343
00:21:06,740 --> 00:21:08,219
After you box 'em...?
344
00:21:08,843 --> 00:21:10,353
You ship 'em.
345
00:21:11,146 --> 00:21:13,139
Lots of luck, smartass.
346
00:21:16,849 --> 00:21:18,418
I think I made a friend.
347
00:21:26,122 --> 00:21:27,262
Miranda.
348
00:21:28,209 --> 00:21:29,238
Stu!
349
00:21:34,398 --> 00:21:35,861
Hello, Miranda.
350
00:21:37,068 --> 00:21:39,738
- It's been a long time.
- Yes.
351
00:21:42,757 --> 00:21:46,813
Umm, Mr Dunmeyer's come by
to look over your sketches.
352
00:21:47,567 --> 00:21:48,700
Umm.
353
00:21:48,918 --> 00:21:51,548
Let me show you to the conference room.
354
00:21:52,254 --> 00:21:55,487
As you probably know,
the estate was built in 1876.
355
00:21:55,570 --> 00:21:59,866
Now, these sketches are meant to reflect
your desire to have it completely restored.
356
00:21:59,993 --> 00:22:01,959
You look better than ever.
357
00:22:02,254 --> 00:22:04,677
The lobby will resemble a music salon
358
00:22:04,744 --> 00:22:07,831
with a great deal of inspiration
from the French Second Empire.
359
00:22:07,867 --> 00:22:10,767
I was thinking
a 17th-century grand piano...
360
00:22:10,822 --> 00:22:14,437
You realize I've been following your career
in the trade these past couple of years?
361
00:22:14,537 --> 00:22:19,507
A tufted sofa, a Flemish tapestry,
a brass-bound Regency-style table...
362
00:22:19,553 --> 00:22:21,740
I'd love to get reacquainted.
363
00:22:22,580 --> 00:22:23,840
Catch up.
364
00:22:24,717 --> 00:22:26,688
Mantel clocks.
365
00:22:27,216 --> 00:22:30,016
Fringed, upholstered chairs, heavy drapes.
366
00:22:30,092 --> 00:22:32,946
Can we talk?
Over dinner, maybe?
367
00:22:34,712 --> 00:22:37,996
Stuart, thank you.
I-I...
368
00:22:38,126 --> 00:22:41,872
I... uh...
I'm at the beginning of a divorce.
369
00:22:42,862 --> 00:22:44,825
It just didn't work out.
370
00:22:44,935 --> 00:22:48,266
- Oh, Miranda, I'm sorry.
- You don't have to say that.
371
00:22:48,326 --> 00:22:52,496
No, really. I mean, I never
held any grudges or anything. I just...
372
00:22:53,112 --> 00:22:55,449
Well, I always hoped you'd find happiness.
373
00:22:56,886 --> 00:22:58,898
Oh, God, that's so nice.
374
00:22:58,938 --> 00:23:00,718
I mean, I was just worried
about coming in here
375
00:23:00,758 --> 00:23:02,822
I-I thought I might
scare you off the project.
376
00:23:02,909 --> 00:23:05,949
Oh, no, no.
Of course not. I...
377
00:23:06,417 --> 00:23:08,925
I'm a professional.
I-I'm...
378
00:23:09,065 --> 00:23:13,953
I was flattered that you thought of me
after all these years and everything.
379
00:23:14,785 --> 00:23:16,595
Yeah, everything.
380
00:23:16,708 --> 00:23:17,641
Well...
381
00:23:18,768 --> 00:23:20,468
Ancient history.
382
00:23:20,561 --> 00:23:21,675
Yeah.
383
00:23:27,467 --> 00:23:29,665
I'm late.
I've got a meeting over at the bank.
384
00:23:29,812 --> 00:23:30,865
Oh.
385
00:23:34,355 --> 00:23:36,985
Can we talk?
Maybe later in the week?
386
00:23:37,125 --> 00:23:39,048
- Sure.
- Good.
387
00:23:39,861 --> 00:23:41,808
It's good to see you again.
388
00:23:46,697 --> 00:23:48,184
Phew!!!
389
00:24:03,999 --> 00:24:06,059
Mmm...
Good, huh?
390
00:24:09,402 --> 00:24:12,046
I know the place doesn't
look like much now, but...
391
00:24:12,833 --> 00:24:15,483
It'll be OK. How do you like it?
392
00:24:16,963 --> 00:24:19,332
- Nice.
- It's OK.
393
00:24:19,563 --> 00:24:21,079
Detestable.
394
00:24:22,753 --> 00:24:24,963
Hey, just give me some time.
395
00:24:25,265 --> 00:24:27,929
I'm not too comfortable
with this new lifestyle.
396
00:24:28,118 --> 00:24:29,929
Neither are we.
397
00:24:30,825 --> 00:24:32,808
I know it's hard, sweetie.
398
00:24:34,453 --> 00:24:37,328
Can't you just tell Mommy
you're sorry?
399
00:24:39,348 --> 00:24:40,938
Wish I could.
400
00:24:41,944 --> 00:24:44,031
You know, grown-up problems...
401
00:24:44,482 --> 00:24:46,858
They're a little more complicated, Nattie.
402
00:24:50,562 --> 00:24:52,465
How is the old battle-axe?
403
00:24:53,279 --> 00:24:55,649
- Your mom.
- She's fine.
404
00:24:55,888 --> 00:24:58,377
Oh. I'm glad to hear that.
405
00:24:59,578 --> 00:25:03,958
I'd hate to think that she came down
with amoebic dysentery or piles.
406
00:25:04,325 --> 00:25:06,781
What's amoebic dysentery?
407
00:25:07,301 --> 00:25:09,828
Nat, it's some kind of
an infection in your tummy
408
00:25:09,911 --> 00:25:11,364
where you get diarrhoea for ever.
409
00:25:11,421 --> 00:25:13,491
- Diarrhoea for ever?
- It's not...
410
00:25:13,538 --> 00:25:15,078
And your body dries up and you die.
411
00:25:15,111 --> 00:25:16,227
You die?
412
00:25:16,374 --> 00:25:18,474
You don't have to be
so graphic with her.
413
00:25:18,541 --> 00:25:20,601
I read about it in a science book.
414
00:25:20,661 --> 00:25:23,414
Why would you want Mommy to die?
415
00:25:24,461 --> 00:25:27,751
Oh, honey, I don't want Mommy to die.
416
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:30,436
Then why did you say that?
417
00:25:32,930 --> 00:25:36,260
Look, Dad, you're not trying very hard.
418
00:25:36,870 --> 00:25:40,086
We only get to come here once a week.
That's not very much.
419
00:25:41,140 --> 00:25:44,870
You're right. I'm sorry.
I'll try harder.
420
00:25:45,832 --> 00:25:47,059
Nattie,...
421
00:25:48,044 --> 00:25:49,954
I'll think good thoughts, OK?
422
00:25:50,081 --> 00:25:51,597
About Mommy?
423
00:25:52,238 --> 00:25:54,698
I'll try.
I really will.
424
00:25:54,889 --> 00:25:58,789
- And call her a princess.
- Oh, yes.
425
00:25:59,956 --> 00:26:03,516
And right now I feel like a toad.
426
00:26:05,859 --> 00:26:07,433
Daddy's a toad.
427
00:26:14,307 --> 00:26:17,228
- Well, that's Mom.
- No. That can't be. She's an hour early.
428
00:26:17,638 --> 00:26:20,074
- Come on, Nattie, we gotta go.
- OK.
429
00:26:20,328 --> 00:26:22,639
No, no, no! Come on.
Sit down, sit down.
430
00:26:22,749 --> 00:26:24,348
Sit down!
431
00:26:24,494 --> 00:26:27,017
You don't have to run off
when she honks the horn.
432
00:26:27,804 --> 00:26:30,157
Come on, you're on my time now.
433
00:26:30,642 --> 00:26:32,729
You're my goddamn kids, too!
434
00:26:39,387 --> 00:26:41,177
Come on.
Hey.
435
00:26:50,237 --> 00:26:51,803
Hi.
436
00:26:52,178 --> 00:26:55,108
Oh, Daniel...
Charming.
437
00:26:55,208 --> 00:26:58,877
Thank you, Miranda.
I was going kind of for a refugee motif.
438
00:26:58,987 --> 00:27:01,498
You know, fleeing-my-homeland
kind of thing.
439
00:27:01,687 --> 00:27:03,485
But look at you!
440
00:27:03,518 --> 00:27:08,388
This lovely Dances With Wolves motif.
What's your Indian name: Shops With A Fist?
441
00:27:08,727 --> 00:27:12,127
- Are my children ready yet?
- No, our children are not ready yet...
442
00:27:12,190 --> 00:27:16,463
...because you are an hour early
and you were late dropping them off.
443
00:27:16,503 --> 00:27:19,059
Daniel, I'm really sorry;
but, I don't have time for this, all right?
444
00:27:19,086 --> 00:27:20,706
I have to go to the bank
and the market.
445
00:27:20,733 --> 00:27:22,846
I have to drop something off
at the newspaper office.
446
00:27:22,873 --> 00:27:24,036
- I'm sorry.
- Newspaper? Oh.
447
00:27:24,063 --> 00:27:26,003
Are you taking out
one of those personal ads?
448
00:27:26,029 --> 00:27:30,656
"DWF seeks WWM with BMW,
into light B&D"?
449
00:27:30,692 --> 00:27:33,076
I'm placing an ad for a housekeeper.
450
00:27:34,316 --> 00:27:37,587
Housekeeper?
Why do you need a housekeeper?
451
00:27:37,659 --> 00:27:40,472
I need someone to be there
when the children get home from school,
452
00:27:40,546 --> 00:27:43,299
to clean, possibly start dinner...
453
00:27:43,512 --> 00:27:47,286
- How much are you gonna pay this person?
- $300 a week. Is that all right?
454
00:27:49,865 --> 00:27:52,048
May I see the ad?
455
00:27:52,179 --> 00:27:53,335
- Miranda?
- All right.
456
00:27:53,369 --> 00:27:55,342
Just let me look at the ad.
I have a right as their father. Please?
457
00:27:55,369 --> 00:27:57,229
All right. Here you go.
Anything else you wanna see?
458
00:27:57,276 --> 00:27:59,729
- Are you offering?
- Not any more.
459
00:28:00,276 --> 00:28:01,565
What's the change?
460
00:28:01,789 --> 00:28:04,522
- Are you guys all right?
- Yeah, Mommy. We're fine.
461
00:28:04,583 --> 00:28:05,263
Oh!
462
00:28:06,082 --> 00:28:08,865
Hey, Miranda? Why don't you
let me take care of the kids?
463
00:28:08,955 --> 00:28:10,378
I'll pick 'em up after school,
464
00:28:10,418 --> 00:28:12,045
they can be with me for a couple hours,
465
00:28:12,072 --> 00:28:13,792
then drop them off
at your house after work.
466
00:28:13,860 --> 00:28:15,333
- Yeah.
- Oh Mom, that'd be great!
467
00:28:15,379 --> 00:28:16,860
- Please!
- Look. The kids love it.
468
00:28:16,893 --> 00:28:18,146
Mommy, please.
469
00:28:18,340 --> 00:28:20,106
I'll think about it.
470
00:28:25,124 --> 00:28:28,451
We're his goddamn kids, too.
471
00:28:32,814 --> 00:28:35,007
Kids say the darndest things.
472
00:28:35,514 --> 00:28:36,974
Thank you.
473
00:28:37,361 --> 00:28:41,680
Any other choice phrases you'd like
to teach our five-year-old, Daniel?
474
00:28:41,747 --> 00:28:42,467
Uh!
475
00:28:42,751 --> 00:28:44,647
Come on, everybody get their coats.
476
00:28:44,768 --> 00:28:45,795
Come on.
477
00:28:45,853 --> 00:28:49,623
- Put them on and let's get out of here.
- OK, Mom.
478
00:28:49,683 --> 00:28:51,776
I would say go to the bathroom
before we go,
479
00:28:51,823 --> 00:28:53,704
but I don't think that's a good idea.
480
00:28:53,764 --> 00:28:54,991
Wait.
481
00:28:55,450 --> 00:28:57,784
Hope you didn't eat much of that.
482
00:28:57,974 --> 00:29:00,207
Come on. Don't forget anything.
I don't wanna come back.
483
00:29:00,274 --> 00:29:01,468
- All right.
- OK.
484
00:29:01,514 --> 00:29:03,221
Come on, let's go.
485
00:29:03,736 --> 00:29:06,299
- See you Saturday.
- Say goodbye to your father.
486
00:29:06,766 --> 00:29:08,432
Bye, Daddy.
487
00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:12,980
- Here's your ad.
- I'll get my purse.
488
00:29:13,100 --> 00:29:14,986
Yeah, you'd better.
489
00:29:30,132 --> 00:29:31,217
Hello.
490
00:29:31,351 --> 00:29:33,744
Are you calling
in response to the ad?
491
00:29:34,527 --> 00:29:39,494
- Tell me, who was your previous employer?
- I was in a band. Severe Tyre Damage.
492
00:29:39,547 --> 00:29:42,070
- In a band?
- I just wanna know one thing.
493
00:29:42,097 --> 00:29:44,037
Are your kids well-behaved,
494
00:29:44,124 --> 00:29:47,414
or do they need, like, a few light slams
every now and then?
495
00:29:47,487 --> 00:29:48,520
Umm...
496
00:29:48,641 --> 00:29:51,067
- I'll have to get back to you.
- Wow!
497
00:29:54,182 --> 00:29:59,091
Ja, my name is llsa Himmelman. And I want
to know how many children do you have?
498
00:29:59,191 --> 00:30:02,721
- I have two girls and a boy.
- Oh, a boy!
499
00:30:02,817 --> 00:30:06,664
I don't work with the males
cos I used to be one.
500
00:30:09,417 --> 00:30:10,931
Yikes.
501
00:30:14,082 --> 00:30:15,736
- Hello.
- Aigh!
502
00:30:16,229 --> 00:30:21,040
Leyla, get back in your cell!
Don't make me get the hose!
503
00:30:21,187 --> 00:30:22,456
Hello?
504
00:30:27,121 --> 00:30:30,130
I am job.
505
00:30:31,021 --> 00:30:35,150
- Do you speak English?
- I am job.
506
00:30:35,372 --> 00:30:37,898
I'm sorry. The position has been filled.
507
00:30:38,696 --> 00:30:40,899
Oh, what a nightmare!
508
00:30:42,346 --> 00:30:45,573
Let's go in for the kill.
509
00:30:53,962 --> 00:30:56,189
- Hello?
- Hello.
510
00:30:56,316 --> 00:30:59,899
I'm calling in regards
to the ad I read in the paper.
511
00:31:01,649 --> 00:31:05,549
Yes. Well, would you tell me
a little bit about yourself?
512
00:31:05,859 --> 00:31:07,909
Oh, certainly, dear.
513
00:31:07,979 --> 00:31:13,042
For the past 15 years I've worked for
the Smythe family of Elbourne, England.
514
00:31:13,102 --> 00:31:15,429
That's Smythe, not Smith, dear.
515
00:31:15,771 --> 00:31:18,764
And for them, I did housecleaning, cooking,
516
00:31:18,821 --> 00:31:22,101
and took care of
their four glorious children.
517
00:31:22,201 --> 00:31:24,911
Boy, I grew quite attached
to them after 15 years,
518
00:31:24,944 --> 00:31:27,884
but they grew up,
as children tend to.
519
00:31:27,977 --> 00:31:29,140
Oh, but listen to me.
520
00:31:29,187 --> 00:31:32,600
I am going on when you should be
telling me about your little ones.
521
00:31:33,212 --> 00:31:36,508
- Well, I have two girls...
- Oh, two precious gems.
522
00:31:36,548 --> 00:31:38,468
No doubt the jewel of your eye.
523
00:31:38,747 --> 00:31:39,843
And one boy.
524
00:31:40,017 --> 00:31:43,223
Oh, the little prince.
How wonderful!
525
00:31:43,483 --> 00:31:46,723
I must tell you, there would be
a little light cooking is required.
526
00:31:46,789 --> 00:31:49,592
Oh, I don't mind that, dear.
I'd love some heavy cooking.
527
00:31:49,632 --> 00:31:54,155
But I do have one rule: They'll only eat
good nutritious food with me.
528
00:31:54,208 --> 00:31:55,915
And if there's any dispute about that,
529
00:31:55,962 --> 00:31:58,605
it's either good wholesome food
or empty tummies.
530
00:31:58,667 --> 00:32:01,972
That's my rule.
I hope it's not too harsh for you, dear.
531
00:32:02,184 --> 00:32:03,780
No!
Umm...
532
00:32:03,980 --> 00:32:08,200
Would you mind coming on an interview?
Say, Monday night at 7:30?
533
00:32:08,447 --> 00:32:11,248
- Oh, I'd love to, dear.
- Wonderful.
534
00:32:11,483 --> 00:32:16,277
I'm at 2640 Steiner Street.
535
00:32:16,359 --> 00:32:18,892
Steiner.
Oh, how lovely!
536
00:32:19,196 --> 00:32:22,359
- Could you tell me your name?
- My name?
537
00:32:23,279 --> 00:32:25,626
I thought I gave it to you, dear.
538
00:32:26,019 --> 00:32:27,766
- No.
- Oh!
539
00:32:32,436 --> 00:32:35,066
- Doubtfire.
- I beg your pardon?
540
00:32:35,291 --> 00:32:38,614
Doubtfire, dear.
Mrs Doubtfire.
541
00:32:38,676 --> 00:32:43,176
- Well, I look forward to meeting you.
- Oh, lovely, dear. Me, too.
542
00:32:43,245 --> 00:32:45,409
- Bye-bye.
- Ta-ta.
543
00:32:49,252 --> 00:32:50,742
Showtime.
544
00:32:56,453 --> 00:32:59,362
- Daniel, hi.
- Could you make me a woman?
545
00:33:00,649 --> 00:33:03,856
Honey, I'm so happy!
546
00:33:03,905 --> 00:33:06,721
- Oh, come here.
- I knew you'd understand.
547
00:33:08,874 --> 00:33:11,535
- Is this gonna hurt?
- Don't whine. Just relax.
548
00:33:11,675 --> 00:33:14,615
- Are you sure?
- Just remember, pain is beauty.
549
00:33:14,715 --> 00:33:16,478
OK, here we go.
Take a deep breath.
550
00:33:16,524 --> 00:33:18,711
- Instant eye lift.
- Wow!
551
00:33:20,155 --> 00:33:22,518
And you'd never see
the strings are under the wig.
552
00:33:22,705 --> 00:33:26,071
The man has five-o'clock shadow at 8.30am.
And you worry about the strings?
553
00:33:26,138 --> 00:33:27,965
All right, we'll start with make-up.
554
00:33:28,180 --> 00:33:31,747
- I'm not gonna wax.
- Don't worry. We'll just lightly spackle.
555
00:33:31,874 --> 00:33:35,347
- I feel like Gloria Swanson.
- You look like her mother.
556
00:33:35,534 --> 00:33:38,257
I'm ready for my close-up, Mr DeMille.
557
00:33:38,777 --> 00:33:40,450
OK, everyone.
558
00:33:40,924 --> 00:33:42,157
Let's pray.
559
00:33:45,626 --> 00:33:48,906
I hope you are using Jungle Red
because that is only the color I love.
560
00:33:48,952 --> 00:33:51,332
- Hmm. Matches your lips.
- God bless you. You know, umm...
561
00:33:51,392 --> 00:33:54,282
I'm feeling fabulous
because I met this beautiful Cuban.
562
00:33:54,362 --> 00:33:57,354
- Uh-huh.
- Every night is like the Bay of Pigs.
563
00:33:57,422 --> 00:34:00,048
I can't lie to you.
It's beautiful with him.
564
00:34:00,750 --> 00:34:01,530
I don't know.
565
00:34:01,557 --> 00:34:03,390
This would scare the children.
You think so.
566
00:34:03,424 --> 00:34:05,637
I don't know.
Maybe this is too much for them.
567
00:34:05,723 --> 00:34:07,964
I think we have to go
to the next level.
568
00:34:08,097 --> 00:34:09,700
Latex.
569
00:34:10,967 --> 00:34:13,620
Oy, it was such a shandeh.
570
00:34:13,673 --> 00:34:15,820
I should never buy
gribbenes from a mohel.
571
00:34:15,847 --> 00:34:17,220
It's so chewy.
572
00:34:17,343 --> 00:34:19,852
No, I know I feel like Bubbee.
This is not working.
573
00:34:19,893 --> 00:34:22,859
Daniel, this isn't a working.
But, don't worry, it's work in progress
574
00:34:22,893 --> 00:34:25,434
and you're my brother.
I will never let you be embarrassed.
575
00:34:25,461 --> 00:34:26,268
God bless you.
576
00:34:26,294 --> 00:34:28,101
I think we're gonna
have to do the entire face.
577
00:34:28,134 --> 00:34:30,841
But look at this nice thing though
we have here.
578
00:34:30,936 --> 00:34:33,662
♪ Matchmaker, matchmaker ♪
♪ Make me a match. ♪
579
00:34:33,722 --> 00:34:36,825
♪ Find me a find. ♪
♪ Catch me a catch. ♪
580
00:34:41,377 --> 00:34:43,804
♪ Don't tell me not to live, ♪
♪ Just sit and putter, ♪
581
00:34:43,844 --> 00:34:46,204
♪ Life's candy and the sun's ♪
♪ A ball of butter. ♪
582
00:34:46,558 --> 00:34:50,061
♪ Don't bring around the cloud ♪
♪ To rain on my parade. ♪
583
00:34:51,128 --> 00:34:53,131
It's not working.
I need to go older.
584
00:34:53,331 --> 00:34:56,851
Older? You mean, like Shelley Winters older
or Shirley MacLaine older?
585
00:34:56,904 --> 00:35:00,204
- What's the difference?
- Some Scotch tape and red hair dye.
586
00:35:00,452 --> 00:35:03,375
- What about Joan Collins?
- Oh, I don't think I have the strength.
587
00:35:03,428 --> 00:35:05,835
- All right.
- But I have some plaster.
588
00:36:09,649 --> 00:36:11,403
Are we close?
589
00:36:11,623 --> 00:36:14,956
Any closer and you'd be Mom.
590
00:36:17,674 --> 00:36:19,241
Yow!
591
00:36:31,049 --> 00:36:33,199
That's disgusting!
592
00:36:34,939 --> 00:36:38,042
That's the most revolting thing
that I've ever seen.
593
00:36:38,175 --> 00:36:39,702
Awesome.
594
00:36:42,047 --> 00:36:44,138
What is this?
Turn it off, will you?
595
00:36:44,230 --> 00:36:47,618
Come on. Everybody over here.
I want you to meet this lady with me.
596
00:36:47,718 --> 00:36:51,554
I want you to be polite to her, then...
tell me what you think.
597
00:36:51,627 --> 00:36:55,048
Everybody stand over here
and help me decide what to do.
598
00:37:00,527 --> 00:37:03,057
Hello.
Mrs Hillard, I presume.
599
00:37:03,167 --> 00:37:05,297
Yes. I'm Miranda Hillard.
600
00:37:05,397 --> 00:37:07,193
Euphegenia Doubtfire.
601
00:37:07,366 --> 00:37:10,137
Oh. Yes.
Won't you please come in?
602
00:37:10,227 --> 00:37:11,980
Thank you, dear.
603
00:37:13,278 --> 00:37:16,177
- And these must be the cherubs.
- Yes.
604
00:37:17,187 --> 00:37:20,381
- This is Natalie.
- Oh, hello, Natalie.
605
00:37:20,443 --> 00:37:22,346
- Are you wearing bug spray?
- Oh!
606
00:37:22,386 --> 00:37:24,206
- Nattie!
- Oh, it's quite all right, dear.
607
00:37:24,252 --> 00:37:27,195
No offense taken.
I was a little liberal with the atomizer.
608
00:37:27,229 --> 00:37:29,529
And at my age, dear, you know,
it's like a good Stilton.
609
00:37:29,562 --> 00:37:31,822
Everything does have its own aroma.
610
00:37:31,927 --> 00:37:36,390
I admire that honesty, Nattie.
That's a noble quality. Never lose that.
611
00:37:36,496 --> 00:37:40,043
It often disappears with age
or entering politics.
612
00:37:40,230 --> 00:37:44,060
Look at that face.
You remind me of Stuart Little,
613
00:37:44,136 --> 00:37:47,633
one of the most honorable creatures
in all of literature.
614
00:37:47,706 --> 00:37:51,352
- Do you know that book, Stuart Little?
- Yeah! It's one of my favorites.
615
00:37:51,398 --> 00:37:53,171
Oh!
Mine, too!
616
00:37:53,299 --> 00:37:56,015
Maybe I could read it to you -
if I get the position.
617
00:37:56,091 --> 00:37:57,754
- That would be wonderful.
- Agree.
618
00:37:57,808 --> 00:37:59,721
And who is this strapping young lad?
619
00:37:59,767 --> 00:38:01,961
- This is Chris.
- Hello, Christopher.
620
00:38:02,026 --> 00:38:03,294
Hello.
621
00:38:03,707 --> 00:38:07,725
Jeez, you're big for a lady.
You could play for the 49ers.
622
00:38:07,825 --> 00:38:11,734
Well, I was a fullback.
But that's European football, dear.
623
00:38:11,834 --> 00:38:14,305
- Soccer?
- Yes. You play soccer, too?
624
00:38:14,435 --> 00:38:16,677
- Yeah!
- Oh, isn't that amazing?
625
00:38:16,775 --> 00:38:21,345
Yes, I was captain of the women's team.
We won three university championships.
626
00:38:21,445 --> 00:38:23,564
Oh, but that was decades ago!
627
00:38:23,615 --> 00:38:25,678
But I was more disciplined back then.
628
00:38:25,731 --> 00:38:28,104
I always put my studies
ahead of my athletics.
629
00:38:28,165 --> 00:38:29,491
I'm sure you're the same way.
630
00:38:29,558 --> 00:38:31,938
I'm sure you got all
your homework done already.
631
00:38:31,984 --> 00:38:35,794
- No, not exactly.
- Really? Oh. That's a pity.
632
00:38:35,860 --> 00:38:37,936
Because young men
who don't do their studies
633
00:38:38,010 --> 00:38:40,990
often miss out
on more amusing activities.
634
00:38:42,294 --> 00:38:45,797
- And who is this young lady?
- This is Lydia.
635
00:38:46,837 --> 00:38:48,444
Hello, Lydia.
636
00:38:51,273 --> 00:38:53,863
This isn't fair, Mom.
Why do we need a housekeeper anyway?
637
00:38:53,916 --> 00:38:55,949
Oh!
This is all I need.
638
00:38:56,016 --> 00:38:57,465
Look, why can't Dad do it?
639
00:38:57,492 --> 00:38:59,516
Excuse me, dear.
But, I don't think it's appropriate
640
00:38:59,556 --> 00:39:01,819
to argue with your mother
in front of a perfect stranger.
641
00:39:01,862 --> 00:39:03,272
If you don't mind me ssaying so.
642
00:39:03,384 --> 00:39:06,784
I just don't see why
we can't spend the extra time with Dad.
643
00:39:06,884 --> 00:39:08,200
Maybe she's right, dear.
644
00:39:08,240 --> 00:39:10,854
Maybe their father would be
a more appropriate person.
645
00:39:11,118 --> 00:39:13,578
- No, I don't think so.
- Really?
646
00:39:13,792 --> 00:39:15,642
It's not my fault, honey.
647
00:39:15,689 --> 00:39:18,295
If he would get a job and
a decent apartment...
648
00:39:18,433 --> 00:39:21,188
- You see, he's the kind...
- Excuse me, dear.
649
00:39:21,833 --> 00:39:24,963
I'm sure you normally would encourage
the children to step out of the room
650
00:39:25,073 --> 00:39:28,002
before you verbally bash their father. Hm?
651
00:39:28,056 --> 00:39:30,802
If I did that,
I might never see them again.
652
00:39:33,026 --> 00:39:34,313
- I'm sorry.
- That's all right.
653
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:35,820
- You're right.
- No harm done.
654
00:39:35,893 --> 00:39:36,950
You're absolutely right.
655
00:39:36,997 --> 00:39:40,708
I'm not a therapist.
I just see what I see. They're yours.
656
00:39:40,802 --> 00:39:43,648
Why don't you guys go on upstairs?
I'll be up in a minute.
657
00:39:43,875 --> 00:39:46,862
- It's lovely to meet you.
- Yeah, nice to meet you.
658
00:39:47,028 --> 00:39:48,648
You too, Lydie.
659
00:39:55,235 --> 00:39:57,441
- Oh, they're a spirited bunch.
- Yes.
660
00:39:57,581 --> 00:39:59,777
Especially that Lydie.
She's got daggers for you.
661
00:39:59,837 --> 00:40:00,951
I know.
662
00:40:01,037 --> 00:40:04,224
- They're very upset with me right now.
- Probably the divorce.
663
00:40:04,890 --> 00:40:06,273
How did you know?
664
00:40:07,156 --> 00:40:08,506
Well, you can sense it, dear,
665
00:40:08,532 --> 00:40:10,455
- the way she talks about her father.
- Really?
666
00:40:10,481 --> 00:40:13,665
I don't think he's in the Navy, really,
the way she's saying she misses him.
667
00:40:13,712 --> 00:40:16,052
You know it. She wants him here.
It's like he's nearby.
668
00:40:16,191 --> 00:40:18,167
- Yes.
- Oh, that's so sad.
669
00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:21,021
- Would you care to have a cup of tea?
- I'd love that.
670
00:40:21,121 --> 00:40:23,960
- It's right in here.
- What a lovely home you have.
671
00:40:24,039 --> 00:40:26,360
- Did you decorate this yourself?
- Yes, I did.
672
00:40:26,459 --> 00:40:30,288
Oh, it reeks of taste!
Isn't this lovely, dear!
673
00:40:30,349 --> 00:40:31,096
Thank you.
674
00:40:31,131 --> 00:40:33,842
- Here's my résumé.
- Oh. Thank you.
675
00:40:34,464 --> 00:40:37,700
- Let me start this tea.
- Oh, no, dear. Let me get that for you.
676
00:40:37,750 --> 00:40:39,153
You've had a hard day.
677
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:44,000
You just sit yourself down there
on that stool and leave the tea to me.
678
00:40:44,409 --> 00:40:46,910
Thank you.
That's very nice of you.
679
00:40:47,020 --> 00:40:49,070
Oh, not at all, dear.
680
00:40:49,180 --> 00:40:52,243
- Oh. What a wonderful résumé.
- Oh, thank you, dear.
681
00:40:52,420 --> 00:40:54,890
"Expert in first aid and CPR."
682
00:40:54,990 --> 00:40:56,929
And Heimlich manoeuvre, dear.
683
00:40:57,043 --> 00:41:00,576
You can never be too prepared when
you got little ones are around, you know.
684
00:41:00,669 --> 00:41:04,445
Because they'll swallow anything.
You've got to be ready to pop it out.
685
00:41:05,419 --> 00:41:07,689
Oh, let's see.
686
00:41:07,842 --> 00:41:08,762
Oh!
687
00:41:09,099 --> 00:41:11,659
What a perfectly appointed little cubby!
688
00:41:11,769 --> 00:41:15,899
Look at this. Everything
has its place and name tag.
689
00:41:16,009 --> 00:41:18,949
How precise!
It's lovely.
690
00:41:19,049 --> 00:41:21,108
My husband never appreciated it.
691
00:41:21,165 --> 00:41:22,992
Oh. Poor dolt.
692
00:41:23,732 --> 00:41:26,397
That's not the reason
you divorced him, was it?
693
00:41:27,069 --> 00:41:28,077
No.
694
00:41:29,458 --> 00:41:32,710
It's so sad, because marriage
can be such a blessing.
695
00:41:33,309 --> 00:41:35,078
So can divorce.
696
00:41:37,029 --> 00:41:40,529
Daniel is a very difficult man
to live with.
697
00:41:40,782 --> 00:41:41,756
Huh.
698
00:41:42,549 --> 00:41:44,302
But the children are crazy about him.
699
00:41:44,342 --> 00:41:47,858
You don't have to be
a psychic to sense that.
700
00:41:48,745 --> 00:41:51,898
My, you certainly do know
your way around a kitchen!
701
00:41:52,112 --> 00:41:53,119
Oh.
702
00:41:54,218 --> 00:41:57,033
It's just because everything
is so accessible.
703
00:41:57,207 --> 00:41:58,667
You designed it.
704
00:41:58,847 --> 00:42:02,133
I'm amazed that there isn't
a little label there that says "spoons".
705
00:42:05,427 --> 00:42:08,187
You remind me of someone.
706
00:42:08,929 --> 00:42:10,824
Really?
Who?
707
00:42:13,837 --> 00:42:16,067
I feel like I've known you for years.
708
00:42:16,900 --> 00:42:19,772
Maybe we knew each other in another life.
709
00:42:22,307 --> 00:42:25,256
I would love for you
to come and work with us.
710
00:42:25,696 --> 00:42:28,366
- So would I.
- Great!
711
00:42:28,422 --> 00:42:30,163
Oh, it would be an honor.
712
00:42:31,316 --> 00:42:32,972
To us.
713
00:42:33,725 --> 00:42:37,499
To us.
The start of a business relationship.
714
00:43:07,715 --> 00:43:09,291
Good evening, dear.
715
00:43:11,411 --> 00:43:12,778
Evening, ma'am.
716
00:43:19,495 --> 00:43:21,222
Cold night, isn't it?
717
00:43:21,748 --> 00:43:23,195
Yes, it is.
718
00:43:24,328 --> 00:43:28,198
Hope you have something nice
and warm to go home to.
719
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:42,503
My back.
720
00:43:43,500 --> 00:43:44,809
Jesus!
721
00:43:45,403 --> 00:43:49,723
If I find the misogynistic bastard
that invented heels, I'll kill him.
722
00:43:50,044 --> 00:43:51,347
God...!
723
00:44:00,776 --> 00:44:02,190
Excuse me.
724
00:44:02,683 --> 00:44:04,370
Mrs Sellner!
725
00:44:05,550 --> 00:44:07,337
Have we met?
726
00:44:08,094 --> 00:44:09,054
No.
727
00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:11,680
But Danny's told me all about you.
728
00:44:12,144 --> 00:44:13,833
I'm his sister.
729
00:44:15,625 --> 00:44:18,422
His... much older sister.
730
00:44:19,348 --> 00:44:23,361
- You have his eyes.
- Only if he fills out a donor card.
731
00:44:24,903 --> 00:44:29,659
- Is Mr Hillard in? I have an appointment.
- Do you? Oh, that's wonderful.
732
00:44:29,759 --> 00:44:32,442
Let me go up and get him
and he'll be right down.
733
00:44:32,501 --> 00:44:34,062
- I'll come with you.
- No.
734
00:44:34,129 --> 00:44:35,415
- Yes.
- Why?
735
00:44:35,509 --> 00:44:41,562
Because I have an appointment on Monday
and Friday evenings to check the apartment.
736
00:44:41,639 --> 00:44:44,542
I remember him saying
something about that.
737
00:44:44,642 --> 00:44:48,205
Are you sure you want to walk in, dear?
It's three floors, hoofin' it all the way.
738
00:44:48,298 --> 00:44:50,682
- If you can do it, I can.
- I'll bet so!
739
00:44:50,738 --> 00:44:52,812
- Is your ticker all right?
- Topnotch.
740
00:44:52,952 --> 00:44:56,421
Oh, good!
Cos I don't want to jump-start you.
741
00:44:59,022 --> 00:45:00,415
Damn door.
742
00:45:00,577 --> 00:45:03,691
Come in, please, dear.
Sorry about that.
743
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:06,593
Here we are.
Daniel's abode.
744
00:45:06,700 --> 00:45:07,953
Ah!
745
00:45:08,371 --> 00:45:12,054
Oh, that's mine, dear.
I'm a messy house guest.
746
00:45:12,141 --> 00:45:15,200
Well, just make yourself at home.
I'll be right back.
747
00:45:15,294 --> 00:45:17,370
He'll be back.
I'll go get him.
748
00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:20,571
Don't be afraid.
I'll be right there. Danny!
749
00:45:20,681 --> 00:45:24,411
Danny boy, where are you?
Oh, here he is, dear. I found him.
750
00:45:24,459 --> 00:45:27,319
Danny, there's a
Mrs Sellner here to see you!
751
00:45:27,413 --> 00:45:29,955
- Oh, is she here?
- Yes, dear, she is.
752
00:45:30,009 --> 00:45:33,222
Oh Mrs Sellner,
I just got out of the shower!
753
00:45:33,290 --> 00:45:35,873
I think you'll be very pleased with me!
754
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:39,260
I've been through
some really interesting changes!
755
00:45:39,329 --> 00:45:43,209
And I'm becoming a new man
and a model father!
756
00:45:44,100 --> 00:45:47,269
He'll be right there.
He's just changing, dear.
757
00:45:48,309 --> 00:45:51,772
Yes, I want to keep you abreast
of the changes in my career!
758
00:45:51,835 --> 00:45:56,540
There have been two big developments!
I'm finally starting to come into my own!
759
00:45:56,650 --> 00:46:01,200
Things are really starting to take shape,
and I'm blossoming! Really, I am!
760
00:46:01,253 --> 00:46:06,529
Things were hairy for a while,
but oh, I'm in great shape now!
761
00:46:06,616 --> 00:46:09,259
I'm my own man now! Oh, yes!
762
00:46:10,529 --> 00:46:13,365
A job I could really sink my teeth into!
763
00:46:13,529 --> 00:46:15,525
I'll be right there, Mrs Sellner!
764
00:46:18,975 --> 00:46:22,809
So nice I don't have to save
face any more, Mrs Sellner!
765
00:46:25,149 --> 00:46:25,982
Agh!
766
00:46:26,078 --> 00:46:29,681
Mrs Sellner! How are you?
Always a joy!
767
00:46:29,774 --> 00:46:32,778
If you wanted some cheese,
why didn't you just say so?
768
00:46:33,124 --> 00:46:36,854
Well, I know you'll be happy to know
that I now am holding down two jobs.
769
00:46:36,907 --> 00:46:40,689
One for an educational film
and TV company - heavy responsibility.
770
00:46:40,829 --> 00:46:43,565
- And the other?
- Cleaning houses.
771
00:46:43,759 --> 00:46:45,459
Not mine.
772
00:46:47,019 --> 00:46:49,452
- Big girl!
- Your sister is English?
773
00:46:49,506 --> 00:46:51,388
Oh, she's half-English,
half-American.
774
00:46:51,474 --> 00:46:52,429
Half-sister, really.
775
00:46:52,455 --> 00:46:55,762
So, that makes her about eighth English.
I don't know. I've never done the math.
776
00:46:55,838 --> 00:47:00,561
Let me see, my father was American.
He flew for the English during the war.
777
00:47:00,648 --> 00:47:04,266
He was in London and...
he met this lovely Englishwoman.
778
00:47:04,376 --> 00:47:07,472
Well, my sister was
the fruit of their passions.
779
00:47:07,526 --> 00:47:09,185
- Ah!
- Sorry.
780
00:47:09,385 --> 00:47:10,906
My sister's, not yours.
781
00:47:10,987 --> 00:47:13,316
You see, she's not
a very good housekeeper.
782
00:47:13,363 --> 00:47:16,484
But she makes a fabulous cup
of English tea.
783
00:47:16,557 --> 00:47:17,807
- Really?
- Really.
784
00:47:17,887 --> 00:47:20,174
Well, I would adore
a good cup of English tea.
785
00:47:20,296 --> 00:47:23,667
Oh! Wouldn't we all! I'll go get her.
786
00:47:23,767 --> 00:47:26,477
Sis! Oh, sis!
787
00:47:26,670 --> 00:47:28,626
Sis, are you in here?
788
00:47:28,736 --> 00:47:31,543
Tea?
Cup of TNT.
789
00:47:49,155 --> 00:47:51,664
- Shit uh...
- Mom!
790
00:47:53,652 --> 00:47:54,919
Oh!
791
00:47:55,839 --> 00:47:57,399
My face!
792
00:48:00,396 --> 00:48:01,996
Oh...
Oh!
793
00:48:03,975 --> 00:48:05,995
I've gotta go down and get it.
794
00:48:08,165 --> 00:48:09,025
Oh...
795
00:48:09,145 --> 00:48:10,735
Norman Bates!
796
00:48:32,617 --> 00:48:34,177
Miss Hillard?
797
00:48:34,834 --> 00:48:37,957
- Yes, dear?
- I take sugar in my tea.
798
00:48:38,034 --> 00:48:39,750
Oh, your tea!
799
00:48:39,810 --> 00:48:42,764
Good!
I'll be right there with your tea!
800
00:48:46,144 --> 00:48:49,744
Coming right up, dear!
Sugar - one lump or two, dear?
801
00:48:49,844 --> 00:48:53,144
- Two, please!
- Tea, sugar, hot water.
802
00:48:53,210 --> 00:48:56,893
You got ow! it
Coming right your way, dear!
803
00:48:57,033 --> 00:48:59,286
I'll be right there with your tea!
804
00:49:02,023 --> 00:49:03,859
No!
Stop!
805
00:49:03,940 --> 00:49:05,133
Stop!
806
00:49:05,300 --> 00:49:08,213
Oh. Oh. No!
807
00:49:12,503 --> 00:49:13,972
Oh, shit!
808
00:49:15,842 --> 00:49:16,882
Oh.
809
00:49:17,156 --> 00:49:18,142
Ouch!
810
00:49:18,698 --> 00:49:19,885
Oh!
811
00:49:20,798 --> 00:49:22,545
Can I give you a hand?
812
00:49:22,698 --> 00:49:25,126
Oh, no, dear!
I don't need a hand.
813
00:49:25,179 --> 00:49:28,302
I need a face.
A face.
814
00:49:28,823 --> 00:49:32,948
- Are you sure?
- Oh, definitely!
815
00:49:38,122 --> 00:49:42,212
I'm not a Muslim.
I need a face! A face! Oh, God.
816
00:49:45,041 --> 00:49:46,651
Miss Hillard?
817
00:49:47,257 --> 00:49:48,791
The water's boiling.
818
00:49:49,042 --> 00:49:49,990
Hello!
819
00:49:50,378 --> 00:49:51,398
Ah!
820
00:49:51,871 --> 00:49:56,901
Oh, I'm sorry to frighten you, dear.
I must look like a yeti in this get-up.
821
00:49:57,074 --> 00:50:00,734
This is my nightly meringue mask.
Part of my beauty regimen.
822
00:50:00,876 --> 00:50:02,885
What it is, it's basically egg whites,
823
00:50:03,092 --> 00:50:06,166
creme fraîche, powdered sugar,
vanilla and a touch of alum.
824
00:50:06,235 --> 00:50:07,288
There you go, dear.
825
00:50:07,355 --> 00:50:10,228
Oh, there you go! You've got
your cream and your sugar now.
826
00:50:10,275 --> 00:50:11,688
It's a little cappu-tea-no.
827
00:50:11,761 --> 00:50:13,891
One drop or two?
Would you like another?
828
00:50:13,961 --> 00:50:16,384
Oh! There you go!
829
00:50:16,510 --> 00:50:18,963
Oh, as you can see,
I can't stay with you, dear.
830
00:50:19,010 --> 00:50:21,203
I'm melting like
a snow cone in Phoenix.
831
00:50:21,340 --> 00:50:23,856
There we go again!
I'll go get Danny, all right?
832
00:50:23,930 --> 00:50:26,556
He'll be right with you.
Hold on.
833
00:50:26,716 --> 00:50:29,810
- Danny!
- Coming, sis!
834
00:50:29,910 --> 00:50:33,470
- It was lovely to have met you!
- Lovely to meet you.
835
00:50:50,737 --> 00:50:52,390
Had a little accident.
836
00:50:52,557 --> 00:50:55,970
Would you be careful with this one?
She's an old woman.
837
00:50:58,303 --> 00:51:00,606
Why wasn't I an only child?
838
00:51:36,978 --> 00:51:39,308
- Oh! I'm sorry.
- That's quite all right.
839
00:51:47,931 --> 00:51:49,252
Here we go.
840
00:51:50,132 --> 00:51:52,377
Ready?
OK.
841
00:51:52,978 --> 00:51:54,588
- Did you have fun?
- Uh huh.
842
00:51:54,728 --> 00:51:57,671
- What did you do?
- I painted a picture of a bunny.
843
00:51:57,728 --> 00:51:59,431
And the teacher liked it.
844
00:51:59,511 --> 00:52:01,084
- He did?
- Uh huh.
845
00:52:01,440 --> 00:52:05,347
Here it is, Mel. A $1,000 worth of hair.
What am I supposed to do with it?
846
00:52:05,406 --> 00:52:08,640
- Well, Alan, I was wondering if...
- You want one of them?
847
00:52:09,092 --> 00:52:10,895
I'd rather make a coat for my wife.
848
00:52:10,941 --> 00:52:12,475
Oh, pick it up.
Pick it up. Pick it up.
849
00:52:12,515 --> 00:52:16,068
All right, everyone.
It's time to expand your minds.
850
00:52:16,147 --> 00:52:21,550
- It's homework time. OK?
- Yeah, but... after Dick Van Dyke.
851
00:52:22,887 --> 00:52:23,903
No.
852
00:52:24,803 --> 00:52:25,823
Now.
853
00:52:26,143 --> 00:52:27,123
No.
854
00:52:28,435 --> 00:52:30,863
We always watch Dick Van Dyke.
855
00:52:33,796 --> 00:52:36,954
Really?
Well, not any more.
856
00:52:38,106 --> 00:52:41,699
The only thing you'll be watching
is Deep Sea-N-N.
857
00:52:42,806 --> 00:52:44,206
Now,
858
00:52:44,619 --> 00:52:47,745
I know you're used to loosey-goosey.
859
00:52:47,845 --> 00:52:50,808
But I run a much tighter ship.
860
00:52:51,041 --> 00:52:55,648
Between the hours of 3pm and 7pm,
I'm in charge.
861
00:52:55,989 --> 00:52:59,779
And when I'm in charge,
you will follow a schedule.
862
00:53:00,086 --> 00:53:03,266
Those who do not follow the schedule
will be punished.
863
00:53:03,925 --> 00:53:06,608
- Punished?
- She's lying.
864
00:53:07,174 --> 00:53:09,001
She'd never punish us.
865
00:53:09,694 --> 00:53:11,934
Don't... fuss with me.
866
00:53:44,304 --> 00:53:46,704
This is exploitation.
It's not fair.
867
00:53:46,773 --> 00:53:49,994
- Shut up, Lydie.
- Yeah. You got us into this.
868
00:53:50,147 --> 00:53:52,580
Ooh, my little ankle-biters.
869
00:53:52,643 --> 00:53:55,203
Do I sense dissension in the ranks?
870
00:53:55,313 --> 00:53:58,820
Are we ready for homework,
or shall we continue manual labor?
871
00:53:59,113 --> 00:54:00,836
No. Anything but this.
872
00:54:00,996 --> 00:54:04,389
Right. Then upstairs,
my little nose-miners.
873
00:54:04,496 --> 00:54:07,143
Go.
Flee before me!
874
00:54:07,293 --> 00:54:09,409
Onward and upward!
875
00:54:09,693 --> 00:54:11,863
Go pump some neurons.
876
00:54:12,002 --> 00:54:14,053
Expand your craniums.
877
00:54:14,163 --> 00:54:16,329
- I miss Dad.
- Me, too.
878
00:54:16,476 --> 00:54:18,296
Me most.
879
00:54:20,474 --> 00:54:22,316
I'm here, guys.
880
00:54:23,738 --> 00:54:25,514
In some form.
881
00:54:28,743 --> 00:54:30,272
Let's see.
882
00:54:34,213 --> 00:54:36,473
OK.
Pinch of basil.
883
00:54:37,858 --> 00:54:38,918
Oh!
884
00:54:39,187 --> 00:54:40,384
Damn!
885
00:54:46,856 --> 00:54:48,776
Oh, ah!
886
00:54:49,018 --> 00:54:50,614
Mayday!
887
00:54:51,832 --> 00:54:53,921
Oh, God!
It's gonna blow!
888
00:54:54,601 --> 00:54:55,674
Oh, wait.
889
00:54:56,104 --> 00:54:58,164
Easy. Easy.
Oh.
890
00:54:58,401 --> 00:55:00,174
Damn.
Calm down.
891
00:55:00,241 --> 00:55:01,561
Oh. Oh. Oh.
892
00:55:01,641 --> 00:55:04,244
Come on.
Hey, hey, hey. Sh!!
893
00:55:04,324 --> 00:55:06,404
How is it?
Oh, my God! It's clotted.
894
00:55:06,524 --> 00:55:07,797
Oh, God.
895
00:55:09,010 --> 00:55:11,660
This hollandaise smells like burnt rubber.
896
00:55:12,778 --> 00:55:14,626
God, it's hot in here.
897
00:55:15,381 --> 00:55:16,448
Ah!
898
00:55:16,775 --> 00:55:18,861
Oh! Oh! Oh!
899
00:55:18,928 --> 00:55:20,081
Ow! Ow!
900
00:55:34,210 --> 00:55:35,263
Look at this!
901
00:55:35,337 --> 00:55:38,123
My first day as a woman
and I'm getting hot flashes.
902
00:55:55,429 --> 00:55:57,790
- Hey, here's your food, lady.
- How much do I owe you?
903
00:55:57,960 --> 00:56:01,159
- 135.27.
- 135 dollars?!
904
00:56:01,216 --> 00:56:03,319
- That's certainly...
- And 27 cents.
905
00:56:03,429 --> 00:56:06,269
Four dinners.
20 bucks extra for rushing us.
906
00:56:06,399 --> 00:56:10,338
Rushing? Well, you could have been
a little bit faster, dear.
907
00:56:10,391 --> 00:56:13,888
- There's 140. Do you have change?
- No.
908
00:56:14,009 --> 00:56:17,069
I thought you wouldn't.
Thank you very much.
909
00:56:47,424 --> 00:56:49,236
Hello!
910
00:56:51,047 --> 00:56:53,583
Hello!
Anybody home?
911
00:56:55,647 --> 00:56:58,618
- Where were you guys?
- Upstairs, doing our homework.
912
00:56:58,718 --> 00:57:00,918
Mrs Doubtfire said we had to.
913
00:57:01,088 --> 00:57:03,681
Oh, she did, huh?
914
00:57:03,758 --> 00:57:06,727
Doing your homework.
How great!
915
00:57:06,856 --> 00:57:08,626
- Hi.
- Hi, honey.
916
00:57:08,726 --> 00:57:13,072
Look at this place! It looks wonderful!
All spick-and-span.
917
00:57:21,149 --> 00:57:22,616
Wow!
918
00:57:26,349 --> 00:57:28,789
Dinner is served, madam.
919
00:57:29,656 --> 00:57:31,281
How lovely!
920
00:57:53,711 --> 00:57:55,387
Mrs Doubtfire?
921
00:57:55,731 --> 00:57:59,462
Lydia, dear. Get back inside
right now before you freeze.
922
00:57:59,676 --> 00:58:04,115
Look... I just want to apologize
for being such a pain today.
923
00:58:04,215 --> 00:58:08,346
- Oh, dear, it's all right.
- No, I'm really sorry.
924
00:58:09,225 --> 00:58:11,588
It's just...
I'm still kind of messed-up.
925
00:58:11,742 --> 00:58:13,609
About everything.
926
00:58:15,825 --> 00:58:17,861
We all are, sweetie.
927
00:58:18,621 --> 00:58:19,691
What?
928
00:58:20,965 --> 00:58:25,124
I just mean I understand
the pain you're all going through.
929
00:58:27,273 --> 00:58:28,522
Yeah.
930
00:58:30,076 --> 00:58:32,522
Well, I also wanted to thank you.
931
00:58:33,044 --> 00:58:36,174
- For what?
- For making my mom so happy.
932
00:58:36,924 --> 00:58:37,884
Oh.
933
00:58:38,784 --> 00:58:41,980
She hasn't been in
this good a mood since...
934
00:58:42,414 --> 00:58:44,147
I can't even remember.
935
00:58:46,024 --> 00:58:47,700
It's been a long time.
936
00:58:48,224 --> 00:58:50,624
- It has?
- Yeah.
937
00:58:51,934 --> 00:58:53,953
Well, I...I gotta go back in, but...
938
00:58:54,133 --> 00:58:57,593
- Go.
- OK. Thank you.
939
00:58:58,233 --> 00:59:00,183
You're welcome.
940
00:59:03,743 --> 00:59:05,763
- Bye.
- Bye.
941
00:59:11,653 --> 00:59:13,149
Thank you.
942
00:59:26,692 --> 00:59:28,143
Oh, no.
943
00:59:29,762 --> 00:59:33,665
Well, milady!
It's a pleasure to see you again!
944
00:59:33,973 --> 00:59:35,852
A joy, as always.
945
00:59:50,797 --> 00:59:52,204
Uh!
946
00:59:54,522 --> 00:59:57,357
I like that Mediterranean look in women.
947
00:59:58,590 --> 01:00:00,713
Natural. Healthy.
948
01:00:02,231 --> 01:00:04,291
Just the way God made you.
949
01:00:05,431 --> 01:00:08,287
But, he broke the mould
when he made me, dear.
950
01:00:08,488 --> 01:00:10,375
He made me very special.
951
01:00:10,471 --> 01:00:12,141
He sure did.
952
01:00:14,141 --> 01:00:15,250
Bless you.
953
01:00:23,330 --> 01:00:24,843
Oh!
954
01:00:39,965 --> 01:00:41,665
Oh! Good!
955
01:01:34,018 --> 01:01:37,458
I am not a crook.
I am not a crook.
956
01:01:37,558 --> 01:01:40,314
"She kissed Stuart and thanked him. "
957
01:01:40,758 --> 01:01:43,128
"'How was it down there? '
asked Mr Little,
958
01:01:43,228 --> 01:01:46,758
who was always curious to know
about places he'd never been to. "
959
01:01:46,898 --> 01:01:48,567
"'It was all right," said Stuart.
960
01:02:36,632 --> 01:02:37,599
Oh!
961
01:02:38,416 --> 01:02:40,176
Back off, asshole!
962
01:02:40,485 --> 01:02:41,678
Beat it!
963
01:02:44,586 --> 01:02:46,697
Broke my bag, the bastard.
964
01:02:46,884 --> 01:02:47,864
Oh.
965
01:02:55,375 --> 01:02:57,004
Lover boy's here.
966
01:02:57,518 --> 01:03:01,415
What a beautiful little car for Don Juan!
967
01:03:05,566 --> 01:03:07,778
So sad when that happens!
968
01:03:08,218 --> 01:03:10,051
It was our junior year in college, OK?
969
01:03:10,118 --> 01:03:13,245
And your mother got asked
to design this big float.
970
01:03:15,786 --> 01:03:18,800
- I wasn't that young.
- I went to kiss her...
971
01:03:19,235 --> 01:03:23,005
Elastic bands were flying out everywhere.
Hit you in the face.
972
01:03:23,105 --> 01:03:25,908
- That's not true!
- It was like Jaws.
973
01:03:26,068 --> 01:03:30,601
- Isn't that the pretty picture!
- Oh. Mrs Doubtfire.
974
01:03:30,884 --> 01:03:34,690
Miranda. What a pleasant surprise
to see you home so early, dear.
975
01:03:34,816 --> 01:03:37,899
- And who is your gentleman caller?
- This is Stu.
976
01:03:38,012 --> 01:03:41,519
- He just wanted to come and meet the kids.
- Oh, did he?
977
01:03:41,594 --> 01:03:44,993
Ah, this must be the famous Mrs Doubtfire.
978
01:03:45,175 --> 01:03:47,683
- It's a pleasure to meet you.
- Oh.
979
01:03:48,394 --> 01:03:51,234
Yes, well...
Miranda's been raving about you.
980
01:03:51,364 --> 01:03:54,234
- Odd. She's never mentioned you.
- No?
981
01:03:54,374 --> 01:03:57,463
- No.
- Well... It's good to meet you.
982
01:03:57,603 --> 01:03:59,633
- You, too.
- Yes.
983
01:04:00,319 --> 01:04:04,689
I have a home in London. I was born there.
What part of England are you from?
984
01:04:04,801 --> 01:04:08,786
- Here and there, dear. All over, really.
- Yes?
985
01:04:09,531 --> 01:04:13,573
- Accent's a little kind of... muddled.
- Really? So is your tan.
986
01:04:16,136 --> 01:04:16,989
Oh, no, dear.
987
01:04:17,043 --> 01:04:20,316
You know, can you help me with something?
I found this outside.
988
01:04:20,869 --> 01:04:22,962
Yes. This is off my Mercedes.
989
01:04:23,062 --> 01:04:27,592
Off your Mercedes, dear?
You own that big, expensive car out there?
990
01:04:27,702 --> 01:04:30,971
Oh, dear. What they say a man
who has to buy a big car like that
991
01:04:31,011 --> 01:04:33,473
tries to compensate for smaller genitals.
992
01:04:33,580 --> 01:04:37,490
But not in your case, cos I see
that you're a strapping lad, aren't you?
993
01:04:38,112 --> 01:04:40,811
- It was lovely to meet you.
- You too, dear.
994
01:04:41,444 --> 01:04:43,927
Mrs Doubtfire, may I speak
with you for moments?
995
01:04:43,967 --> 01:04:45,760
Ooh, certainly, dear.
996
01:04:46,081 --> 01:04:48,992
Could you stay
a few extra hours this evening?
997
01:04:49,092 --> 01:04:53,252
Stu. That's more of a thick soup
than a name, really.
998
01:04:53,362 --> 01:04:55,481
It's a name. It's short for Stuart.
999
01:04:55,532 --> 01:04:58,361
- Is it?
- Yes. He's a client. And a friend.
1000
01:04:58,732 --> 01:05:01,320
- He was... he is a friend.
- What is he?
1001
01:05:01,470 --> 01:05:04,286
- I don't know what's happening.
- Oh, what is it, dear? Just take...
1002
01:05:04,366 --> 01:05:07,106
- Isn't he fabulous?
- Oh, kind of, dear.
1003
01:05:07,173 --> 01:05:09,701
If you like that handsome, rugged type.
1004
01:05:09,881 --> 01:05:13,311
But personally, I prefer short,
furry and funny.
1005
01:05:14,071 --> 01:05:15,977
He just wants to go out and have a drink.
1006
01:05:16,040 --> 01:05:17,934
And I think that's pretty harmless.
Don't you?
1007
01:05:17,988 --> 01:05:19,560
Oh, absolutely not, dear.
1008
01:05:19,634 --> 01:05:21,570
'Cause they always have other intentions.
1009
01:05:21,610 --> 01:05:23,651
Well, this is business, mostly.
1010
01:05:23,720 --> 01:05:27,264
I'll just sit there and sip club soda
and we'll go over wallpaper samples.
1011
01:05:27,360 --> 01:05:30,620
Dear Miranda. Wake up
and smell the coffee, dear.
1012
01:05:30,730 --> 01:05:33,320
Can't you see the lust in that man's eyes?
1013
01:05:33,430 --> 01:05:36,331
It's too soon, dear.
Really.
1014
01:05:36,471 --> 01:05:38,700
You've got to give
your divorce time, dear.
1015
01:05:38,800 --> 01:05:43,574
Let your sheets cool down before you bring
someone else into the bed, all right?
1016
01:05:43,812 --> 01:05:46,290
Mrs Doubtfire, may I ask you a question?
1017
01:05:46,328 --> 01:05:48,096
Oh, certainly, dear.
1018
01:05:48,437 --> 01:05:51,303
How long after
Mr Doubtfire passed away...
1019
01:05:51,380 --> 01:05:52,709
- Winston.
- Winston.
1020
01:05:52,782 --> 01:05:55,836
...did you feel any desire...
1021
01:05:59,359 --> 01:06:01,119
- Never.
- Never.
1022
01:06:01,229 --> 01:06:03,129
- Never again.
- Never again?
1023
01:06:03,229 --> 01:06:07,099
Once the father of your children
is out of the picture,
1024
01:06:07,199 --> 01:06:10,915
the only solution is
total and lifelong celibacy.
1025
01:06:11,265 --> 01:06:12,825
- Celibacy?
- Yes.
1026
01:06:13,088 --> 01:06:15,938
And if you violate that,
heaven forgive you.
1027
01:06:17,194 --> 01:06:18,327
Good luck.
1028
01:06:19,795 --> 01:06:21,401
Thank you.
1029
01:06:27,648 --> 01:06:29,988
"Preponderance."
1030
01:06:30,333 --> 01:06:32,049
P-R-E
1031
01:06:32,729 --> 01:06:34,276
P-O-N
1032
01:06:35,223 --> 01:06:36,683
D-E-R
1033
01:06:37,636 --> 01:06:38,661
A-N-C-E.
1034
01:06:38,751 --> 01:06:41,851
Bravo. "Discriminate."
1035
01:06:43,015 --> 01:06:44,655
D-I-S
1036
01:06:45,311 --> 01:06:46,438
C-R
1037
01:06:46,845 --> 01:06:49,466
I-M-I-N-A-T-E.
1038
01:06:49,591 --> 01:06:51,120
Oh, that's very good.
1039
01:06:51,180 --> 01:06:53,827
Will you excuse me, dear?
Call of nature.
1040
01:06:53,883 --> 01:06:54,750
All right.
1041
01:06:54,947 --> 01:06:57,377
Check those.
I'll be right back.
1042
01:07:00,911 --> 01:07:02,644
Oh.
Sh...
1043
01:07:19,766 --> 01:07:21,967
- Oh, God.
- Oh, God!
1044
01:07:22,667 --> 01:07:25,167
- Oh, my God!
- Chris! Wait!
1045
01:07:26,007 --> 01:07:28,037
Lydia! Lydia, come on.
We gotta call the cops!
1046
01:07:28,177 --> 01:07:30,666
- We gotta dial 911 now!
- Why?
1047
01:07:30,816 --> 01:07:34,595
Well, Mrs Doubtfire.
He's a she! He's a she! He's a she, see.
1048
01:07:34,714 --> 01:07:36,441
- What?!
- Ah! Ah.
1049
01:07:36,579 --> 01:07:39,154
- He's half man, half woman!
- What?!
1050
01:07:39,288 --> 01:07:40,317
Yes, I awear.
1051
01:07:40,404 --> 01:07:42,204
All right, everyone.
No, just calm down.
1052
01:07:42,241 --> 01:07:43,491
- Freeze!
- Just relax, please.
1053
01:07:43,517 --> 01:07:44,891
- Or you're gonna get it!
- In the balls!
1054
01:07:44,924 --> 01:07:45,690
Yeah!
1055
01:07:46,096 --> 01:07:48,586
- She's got 'em?
- She's got everything.
1056
01:07:48,696 --> 01:07:50,417
All right. Listen to me.
1057
01:07:50,896 --> 01:07:53,365
I'm not... who you think I am.
1058
01:07:53,465 --> 01:07:56,788
- Ah, no shit!
- Watch your mouth, young man!
1059
01:08:00,570 --> 01:08:01,921
Oh, my God.
1060
01:08:05,898 --> 01:08:07,138
Dad?
1061
01:08:07,492 --> 01:08:08,752
Yeah.
1062
01:08:09,515 --> 01:08:12,115
- Dad?
- Yeah, honey.
1063
01:08:13,724 --> 01:08:16,522
You don't really like
wearin' that stuff, do you, dad?
1064
01:08:17,024 --> 01:08:19,987
Well, some of it's comfortable.
No! No.
1065
01:08:20,207 --> 01:08:21,793
It's a pain in the padded ass.
1066
01:08:22,161 --> 01:08:24,761
This is not a way of life.
It's just a job.
1067
01:08:24,865 --> 01:08:28,261
I don't go to old-lady bars or
anything like that after work. You know.
1068
01:08:28,314 --> 01:08:31,334
You know, it's...it's the only way
I could see you guys every day.
1069
01:08:31,474 --> 01:08:35,273
- Who did this?
- Uncle Frank and Aunt Jack.
1070
01:08:41,701 --> 01:08:43,614
It's really you in there.
1071
01:08:44,008 --> 01:08:45,588
Yeah.
1072
01:08:48,323 --> 01:08:49,912
It's just a mask.
1073
01:08:50,066 --> 01:08:53,272
And this is a body suit.
I didn't have any operations or anything.
1074
01:08:53,694 --> 01:08:55,612
- It's good.
- Yeah.
1075
01:08:56,033 --> 01:08:57,412
- Hi.
- Hi.
1076
01:08:57,512 --> 01:08:58,992
Oh.
Hey.
1077
01:08:59,393 --> 01:09:00,649
Sorry I scared you.
1078
01:09:00,770 --> 01:09:03,230
- Come here, Chris.
- No. No, it's OK.
1079
01:09:03,373 --> 01:09:04,649
I get it.
1080
01:09:04,803 --> 01:09:07,309
I just, you know,
don't hug you or anything.
1081
01:09:07,503 --> 01:09:08,879
Not just yet.
1082
01:09:09,360 --> 01:09:11,666
That's cool.
It's a guy thing.
1083
01:09:11,826 --> 01:09:12,926
Yeah.
1084
01:09:13,483 --> 01:09:17,212
Well, now that you know,
you can't tell Mom, OK?
1085
01:09:17,483 --> 01:09:23,183
Cos if she finds out, I'll only be able
to see you through plate glass. OK?
1086
01:09:23,413 --> 01:09:26,382
And we can't tell Nattie,
cos she'll blow my cover.
1087
01:09:26,522 --> 01:09:29,682
So you have to promise me,
it's just us. All right?
1088
01:09:29,792 --> 01:09:32,162
- You promise?
- Yeah.
1089
01:09:34,632 --> 01:09:36,208
It's OK.
1090
01:09:38,603 --> 01:09:41,302
All right?
It's our little secret.
1091
01:09:44,841 --> 01:09:49,141
Most of the dinosaurs were herbivorous.
1092
01:09:49,511 --> 01:09:52,112
But this Tyrannosaurus rex
1093
01:09:52,961 --> 01:09:55,248
is a carnivore.
1094
01:10:02,061 --> 01:10:05,577
The reptile-like Saurischia
1095
01:10:06,184 --> 01:10:07,611
Saurischia
1096
01:10:08,377 --> 01:10:10,953
and the bird-like
1097
01:10:11,873 --> 01:10:13,374
Ornithischia.
1098
01:10:19,881 --> 01:10:22,640
Now, we're going to go
1099
01:10:22,780 --> 01:10:25,250
where no human being has ever been.
1100
01:10:25,380 --> 01:10:26,183
Oh, no.
1101
01:10:26,283 --> 01:10:28,663
As we continue our deam with free history.
1102
01:10:29,020 --> 01:10:31,110
Which one's the dinosaur?
1103
01:10:31,220 --> 01:10:35,010
- The one in the middle, I think.
- Nah, you're wrong. They're all extinct.
1104
01:10:37,791 --> 01:10:41,407
I can't believe they're still
subjecting kids to this. This is insane.
1105
01:10:41,998 --> 01:10:43,838
They should have
a little disclaimer that says:
1106
01:10:43,864 --> 01:10:46,564
Do not operate heavy machinery
while watching this show.
1107
01:10:47,469 --> 01:10:48,879
It's incredible.
1108
01:10:50,005 --> 01:10:52,772
This guy used to put me to sleep
when I was a kid.
1109
01:10:52,842 --> 01:10:53,768
It's amazing.
1110
01:10:53,845 --> 01:10:57,125
He has the warmth of a snow pea.
It makes Mr Rogers look like Mick Jagger.
1111
01:10:57,178 --> 01:10:58,644
That's insane.
1112
01:10:59,752 --> 01:11:03,305
What kind of idiot kept
this guy on the air for 25 years?
1113
01:11:03,825 --> 01:11:05,112
Me.
1114
01:11:08,465 --> 01:11:09,792
You?
1115
01:11:10,442 --> 01:11:12,302
Jonathan Lundy.
1116
01:11:13,706 --> 01:11:16,519
Jonathan Lundy, General Manager, owner?
1117
01:11:17,399 --> 01:11:19,802
Daniel Hillard, former employee.
1118
01:11:20,051 --> 01:11:22,242
- Ah, maybe.
- Huh?
1119
01:11:23,348 --> 01:11:24,875
That's funny.
1120
01:11:25,433 --> 01:11:29,087
Listen, I-I don't mean to criticize.
I just, you know, sometimes I have...
1121
01:11:29,154 --> 01:11:31,420
Criticize all you want.
The show's terrible.
1122
01:11:31,480 --> 01:11:33,056
- Oh, Mr Lundry...
- No, I'm gonna cancel it.
1123
01:11:33,089 --> 01:11:34,863
It's pulling down the whole
afternoon schedule.
1124
01:11:34,890 --> 01:11:36,210
- Come on.
- Nah, he's gone.
1125
01:11:36,278 --> 01:11:37,568
- You know what you gotta do?
- What?
1126
01:11:37,601 --> 01:11:39,195
Maybe, just um...
you know, start from scratch.
1127
01:11:39,228 --> 01:11:41,548
Give it kind of uh...
maybe a musical number.
1128
01:11:41,618 --> 01:11:44,718
You know, imagine a little...a little
Tyrannosaurus rex comes out you know...
1129
01:11:44,765 --> 01:11:45,724
- Hillard?
- Yes.
1130
01:11:45,765 --> 01:11:47,164
Get your ass to the truck.
1131
01:11:47,218 --> 01:11:49,974
That shipment's gotta make
a six o'clock flight to LA.
1132
01:11:50,167 --> 01:11:52,687
Tone, this is Mr Lundy.
1133
01:11:53,367 --> 01:11:55,688
- He knows who I am.
- Yeah.
1134
01:11:55,838 --> 01:12:00,137
Did you ever wish that sometimes you could
freeze-frame a single moment in your day,
1135
01:12:00,254 --> 01:12:03,281
look at it and say "This is not my life"?
1136
01:12:30,167 --> 01:12:33,283
Miranda.
What are you home early for, dear?
1137
01:12:33,362 --> 01:12:35,436
I had an appointment.
Oh, thank you!
1138
01:12:35,505 --> 01:12:37,876
With the court liaison. Mrs Sellner.
1139
01:12:37,937 --> 01:12:38,849
Oh.
1140
01:12:38,982 --> 01:12:41,453
- I can't believe it.
- What, dear?
1141
01:12:42,258 --> 01:12:45,111
She says that Daniel has
some woman living with him,
1142
01:12:45,185 --> 01:12:47,085
- pretending to be his sister!
- Oh!
1143
01:12:47,486 --> 01:12:49,736
I told her he doesn't even have a sister.
1144
01:12:49,869 --> 01:12:53,442
Oh, Mrs Sellner's probably mistaken.
1145
01:12:53,702 --> 01:12:56,945
Oh, she's a social worker, dear.
Really!
1146
01:12:57,095 --> 01:13:00,725
And besides,
how could he replace you?
1147
01:13:00,795 --> 01:13:03,325
And so quickly.
Really!
1148
01:13:03,505 --> 01:13:07,131
She's supposed to be older
and very unattractive.
1149
01:13:09,107 --> 01:13:11,128
Really?
Oh.
1150
01:13:11,446 --> 01:13:12,938
Mrs Doubtfire.
1151
01:13:15,077 --> 01:13:18,137
- Yes?
- Did you and Mr Doubtfire ever...
1152
01:13:19,184 --> 01:13:21,340
You must have had
your share of problems.
1153
01:13:21,387 --> 01:13:24,927
Oh, of course, dear.
What marriage doesn't?
1154
01:13:25,155 --> 01:13:28,815
But I always say:
The bad times fade away,
1155
01:13:28,955 --> 01:13:32,051
and the good ones adhere
themselves to your memory.
1156
01:13:32,124 --> 01:13:34,907
- Yes. Excuse me.
- That's all right.
1157
01:13:36,274 --> 01:13:37,401
Oh.
1158
01:13:37,803 --> 01:13:41,057
As I hold this cold meat,
I'm reminded of Winston.
1159
01:13:41,124 --> 01:13:42,771
God rest his soul.
1160
01:13:43,204 --> 01:13:45,722
When did he... pass on?
1161
01:13:46,814 --> 01:13:48,284
Eight years ago, dear.
1162
01:13:48,751 --> 01:13:50,191
This November.
1163
01:13:50,343 --> 01:13:51,897
What happened?
1164
01:13:52,543 --> 01:13:55,244
- He was quite fond of the drink.
- Ah.
1165
01:13:56,290 --> 01:13:57,757
It was the drink that killed him.
1166
01:13:57,844 --> 01:13:59,857
How awful!
He was an alcoholic?
1167
01:13:59,904 --> 01:14:02,377
No.
He was hit by a Guinness truck.
1168
01:14:03,282 --> 01:14:05,862
So it was quite literally
the drink that killed him.
1169
01:14:06,309 --> 01:14:08,808
- How tragic!
- Yes.
1170
01:14:11,314 --> 01:14:12,481
Oh.
1171
01:14:13,263 --> 01:14:16,813
But he was a good man, though, really.
1172
01:14:17,703 --> 01:14:19,492
A sainted man.
1173
01:14:20,195 --> 01:14:22,662
And despite his mountains of faults,
1174
01:14:22,688 --> 01:14:26,848
Still I always say: A flawed husband
is better than none at all.
1175
01:14:27,515 --> 01:14:29,471
Who needs a husband
when I've got you?
1176
01:14:29,531 --> 01:14:32,058
Oh, surely you don't mean that, dear?
1177
01:14:32,122 --> 01:14:34,552
- Well...
- Oh, that's so sweet!
1178
01:14:34,652 --> 01:14:38,422
You can't imagine what it was like
being married to Daniel.
1179
01:14:38,522 --> 01:14:43,055
Tell me, dear. What was so horrible
about this man you lived with for 14 years?
1180
01:14:43,432 --> 01:14:45,492
Well, at first, nothing.
1181
01:14:45,632 --> 01:14:49,108
He was...
He was so... romantic.
1182
01:14:49,175 --> 01:14:50,948
- So passionate.
- Really?
1183
01:14:51,001 --> 01:14:53,871
He sounds like an absolute stud, dear.
1184
01:14:53,937 --> 01:14:57,397
Oh, I hope you don't mind me
being a tad rude, but...
1185
01:14:57,942 --> 01:15:02,225
How was he... you know...
on a scale of 1 to 10?
1186
01:15:02,292 --> 01:15:05,445
Oh, well. That part was always...
1187
01:15:06,161 --> 01:15:07,495
OK.
1188
01:15:07,843 --> 01:15:10,421
Just OK?
Oh.
1189
01:15:10,720 --> 01:15:14,443
He was probably a Casanova
compared to poor old Winston.
1190
01:15:14,761 --> 01:15:17,251
- What was the matter with Winston?
- Oh, dear.
1191
01:15:17,361 --> 01:15:21,351
Winston's idea of foreplay was
"Effie, brace yourself. "
1192
01:15:24,839 --> 01:15:28,182
It was Daniel's spontaneity and energy
I fell in love with.
1193
01:15:28,275 --> 01:15:29,769
Really?
1194
01:15:30,209 --> 01:15:34,345
Everyone else I knew
was so organized, so scheduled.
1195
01:15:34,753 --> 01:15:36,265
Like me, I guess.
1196
01:15:37,153 --> 01:15:42,033
But Daniel was so wonderfully different.
And funny. He could always make me laugh.
1197
01:15:42,293 --> 01:15:45,250
I always say: The key
to a solid marriage is laughter.
1198
01:15:46,889 --> 01:15:50,199
But after a few years,
everything just stopped being funny.
1199
01:15:50,313 --> 01:15:51,532
Why?
1200
01:15:52,285 --> 01:15:54,245
I was working all the time and...
1201
01:15:54,499 --> 01:15:56,429
he was always between jobs.
1202
01:15:56,702 --> 01:15:58,768
I hardly ever got
to see the kids and...
1203
01:15:58,802 --> 01:16:02,669
On the night I would try to get home early
to be with them, something would go wrong.
1204
01:16:02,722 --> 01:16:05,724
The house would be wrecked
and I'd have to clean it up.
1205
01:16:07,343 --> 01:16:12,239
He never knew, but so many nights I just...
cried myself to sleep.
1206
01:16:13,762 --> 01:16:15,146
Really?
1207
01:16:17,460 --> 01:16:19,034
The truth is,...
1208
01:16:19,367 --> 01:16:21,920
I didn't like who I was
when I was with him.
1209
01:16:22,154 --> 01:16:24,400
I would turn into this horrible person.
1210
01:16:25,571 --> 01:16:28,901
I didn't want my kids growing up
with a mother like that.
1211
01:16:30,471 --> 01:16:32,931
When I'm not with Daniel,
I'm better.
1212
01:16:34,148 --> 01:16:35,308
And...
1213
01:16:35,974 --> 01:16:38,354
I'm sure he's better
when he's not with me.
1214
01:16:40,077 --> 01:16:41,524
Well, you never...
1215
01:16:42,678 --> 01:16:43,974
I mean...
1216
01:16:44,141 --> 01:16:47,041
Did you ever say
anything to him, dear?
1217
01:16:49,477 --> 01:16:52,307
Daniel never liked
to talk about anything serious.
1218
01:16:56,885 --> 01:16:57,885
Uh...
1219
01:16:58,184 --> 01:17:01,021
I used to think Daniel could do anything.
1220
01:17:01,234 --> 01:17:02,801
Except be serious.
1221
01:17:04,970 --> 01:17:08,133
But then, I was serious enough
for everybody.
1222
01:17:29,950 --> 01:17:31,171
- Oh!
- Oh!
1223
01:17:31,244 --> 01:17:32,964
- Oh, man.
- This is great!
1224
01:17:33,044 --> 01:17:35,377
- Isn't this posh!
- This is wonderful and amazing.
1225
01:17:35,427 --> 01:17:37,060
- Wow!
- I'll bet it's very exclusive.
1226
01:17:37,140 --> 01:17:39,520
Probably need a credit reference
just to get in the pool.
1227
01:17:39,560 --> 01:17:41,281
- Oh.
- Oh.
1228
01:17:41,400 --> 01:17:43,893
- Amazing!
- Oh, Nattie.
1229
01:17:44,076 --> 01:17:47,870
Not a single body that exists in nature.
Look at that.
1230
01:17:48,172 --> 01:17:50,522
- Lydie...
- There's Stu!
1231
01:17:50,608 --> 01:17:53,095
Where?
Oh. On the board there.
1232
01:17:53,388 --> 01:17:55,934
Oh, isn't he a stunning piece of work?
1233
01:17:56,084 --> 01:18:00,394
Look, Nattie.
That's called liposuction. Hmm.
1234
01:18:08,225 --> 01:18:10,092
- Wow!
- Wow!
1235
01:18:10,300 --> 01:18:11,834
I hope he had protection, you know.
1236
01:18:11,867 --> 01:18:14,074
He hit the water at that speed,
God knows what happened.
1237
01:18:14,107 --> 01:18:17,102
- Oh, let-let's go say hi.
- Let's do, please.
1238
01:18:17,174 --> 01:18:19,509
- That's amazing.
- Stunning.
1239
01:18:26,627 --> 01:18:27,900
Oh, whoa, whoa!
Hello.
1240
01:18:28,000 --> 01:18:30,145
- Whoa, whoa, whoa! You look lovely!
- Hi.
1241
01:18:30,230 --> 01:18:32,488
Oh, guys, I'm so glad
you could make it.
1242
01:18:32,521 --> 01:18:35,070
Oh, by the looks of you,
that water's so cold!
1243
01:18:35,663 --> 01:18:36,816
Yes, well...
1244
01:18:37,614 --> 01:18:40,340
Your tummy looks different
from my daddy's.
1245
01:18:40,587 --> 01:18:42,074
- Oh, Nattie!
- Well.
1246
01:18:42,207 --> 01:18:45,254
Not everyone has
their own personal trainer.
1247
01:18:45,794 --> 01:18:48,237
Well, guys. You got your swimsuits?
You wanna go for a dip?
1248
01:18:48,290 --> 01:18:49,537
- Oh, great.
- That'd be great!
1249
01:18:49,604 --> 01:18:53,503
- Good! How about you, Mrs Doubtfire?
- Oh, you wicked, wicked man!
1250
01:18:53,603 --> 01:18:56,933
Isn't there enough flesh here
for you to feast your eyes on?
1251
01:18:56,999 --> 01:18:59,193
Come now, Mrs Doubtfire.
Don't be bashful.
1252
01:18:59,266 --> 01:19:01,533
Oh no, dear. I think
they've outlawed whaling.
1253
01:19:01,613 --> 01:19:05,062
- We'd be re-enacting the Titanic.
- Come on, Mrs Doubtfire.
1254
01:19:05,116 --> 01:19:08,913
Oh, no, no, no. Just go, go. Leave me here.
I'll just sit in the sun and crisp.
1255
01:19:09,023 --> 01:19:11,719
I don't think you can get
heatstroke twice in the same year.
1256
01:19:11,766 --> 01:19:14,766
OK. Well, let's go, kids.
Swim time.
1257
01:19:15,023 --> 01:19:16,399
Go, go, dear.
I'll be fine.
1258
01:19:16,466 --> 01:19:18,553
Come on, come on.
Your day's on me, Mrs Doubtfire.
1259
01:19:18,613 --> 01:19:21,232
- Anything you need, put it on my tab. OK?
- Oh, thank you, dear.
1260
01:19:21,305 --> 01:19:23,982
Touch me again and
I'll drown you, you bastard.
1261
01:19:24,089 --> 01:19:28,462
Oh, I'll just sit here and watch you
move in on my family.
1262
01:19:28,672 --> 01:19:29,972
Hello, hello!
1263
01:19:31,239 --> 01:19:32,019
Hey!
1264
01:19:33,272 --> 01:19:37,682
Oh, God. What am I doing here?
This is beyond obsession.
1265
01:19:37,955 --> 01:19:39,302
Oh, God.
1266
01:19:50,461 --> 01:19:52,134
- Yes!
- Yeah!
1267
01:19:53,907 --> 01:19:55,054
- OK.
- Nice.
1268
01:19:55,281 --> 01:19:56,481
OK, Natalie.
1269
01:20:05,641 --> 01:20:09,451
- Is everything all right, ma'am?
- Fan-bloody-tastic.
1270
01:20:09,710 --> 01:20:11,270
- Can I have another?
- Sure.
1271
01:20:11,410 --> 01:20:12,400
Great.
1272
01:20:12,627 --> 01:20:15,313
- Yes!
- Oh, OK, Chris.
1273
01:20:15,426 --> 01:20:17,267
- Yeah!
- All right, Nattie.
1274
01:20:22,363 --> 01:20:23,076
Hi.
1275
01:20:23,121 --> 01:20:25,044
Soda with a lime, please.
1276
01:20:35,100 --> 01:20:37,540
- It's on me.
- No, thanks.
1277
01:20:46,750 --> 01:20:48,576
Four iced teas, Todd.
1278
01:20:49,849 --> 01:20:51,879
So, whose rugrats?
1279
01:20:54,789 --> 01:20:56,479
Miranda Hillard's.
1280
01:20:56,589 --> 01:20:58,625
- Miranda Hillard?
- Uh huh.
1281
01:20:58,886 --> 01:21:00,166
The woman I'm seeing.
1282
01:21:00,660 --> 01:21:03,753
No kidding? You?
The guy who's never having kids?
1283
01:21:03,852 --> 01:21:07,673
Won't have anything to do with kids?
You won't even date a woman who's got kids.
1284
01:21:08,169 --> 01:21:09,933
People change, Ron.
1285
01:21:10,338 --> 01:21:11,441
I'm pushing 40.
1286
01:21:11,481 --> 01:21:14,228
I don't want to spend
the rest of my life by myself.
1287
01:21:14,278 --> 01:21:16,676
She's got an awful lot
of baggage though. Three kids.
1288
01:21:16,756 --> 01:21:18,996
Three terrific kids.
And I'm crazy about them.
1289
01:21:19,103 --> 01:21:21,249
Especially little Natalie.
Look at her.
1290
01:21:21,302 --> 01:21:23,862
She's a sweetie pie.
Ah!
1291
01:21:24,718 --> 01:21:25,588
God knows.
1292
01:21:25,628 --> 01:21:28,528
They need some kind of a stable
father figure in their life right now.
1293
01:21:28,568 --> 01:21:29,521
Thanks Todd.
1294
01:21:29,561 --> 01:21:31,511
Well, what about their real father?
1295
01:21:31,598 --> 01:21:34,964
Ah, what can I say, Ron?
The guy's a loser. I'll see you.
1296
01:21:35,728 --> 01:21:37,794
Loser?
Oh, yeah?
1297
01:21:43,515 --> 01:21:45,108
Oh, sir!
1298
01:21:45,481 --> 01:21:46,715
I saw it!
1299
01:21:47,062 --> 01:21:50,054
Some angry member of the kitchen staff.
Did you not tip them?
1300
01:21:50,121 --> 01:21:53,807
Oh, the terrorists! They ran that way.
It was a run-by fruiting.
1301
01:21:53,947 --> 01:21:56,308
I'll get them, sir.
Don't worry.
1302
01:22:00,455 --> 01:22:01,501
Oh.
1303
01:22:02,455 --> 01:22:03,488
Oh.
1304
01:22:04,108 --> 01:22:05,488
Good waste of juice.
1305
01:22:06,441 --> 01:22:07,534
Loser.
1306
01:22:10,027 --> 01:22:11,791
What are you looking at?
1307
01:22:43,962 --> 01:22:45,489
Hi, boys and girls.
1308
01:22:46,165 --> 01:22:49,521
Today we'll be talking about dinosaurs.
1309
01:22:49,566 --> 01:22:53,602
It's A Dinosaurus Line!
1310
01:22:53,669 --> 01:22:56,369
Daa, dadadada, dadada.
1311
01:22:56,531 --> 01:22:59,105
And please welcome... the king!
1312
01:22:59,172 --> 01:23:01,558
Dong-dong-dong, dong-dong-dong.
1313
01:23:02,038 --> 01:23:02,990
Dong-dong-dong.
1314
01:23:03,043 --> 01:23:04,438
It's a dinner show.
Dong-dong-dong.
1315
01:23:04,472 --> 01:23:06,839
Hiya! Hi! Where you from?
Hi! I'm gonna make you lunch.
1316
01:23:06,915 --> 01:23:09,285
Thank you very much.
Thank you! All right!
1317
01:23:09,415 --> 01:23:12,475
Ladies and gentlemen,
put your claws together!
1318
01:23:12,625 --> 01:23:17,245
Please welcome...
James Browntosaurus!
1319
01:23:17,368 --> 01:23:18,661
Pum-pum-pum-pum.
1320
01:23:18,924 --> 01:23:21,121
♪ I eat wood ♪
Tin-a-tin-a-tin-a-tin
1321
01:23:21,234 --> 01:23:23,664
♪ It tastes good ♪
Tin-a-tin-a-tin-a-tin
1322
01:23:24,234 --> 01:23:26,464
♪ No meat ♪
♪ Big feet ♪
1323
01:23:26,604 --> 01:23:29,364
♪ I eat wood ♪
Pum-pum-pum-pum. Ow!
1324
01:23:29,474 --> 01:23:32,300
Oh, I got to help myself!
Can't go on! Can't go on!
1325
01:23:32,347 --> 01:23:33,400
I'm going extinct!
1326
01:23:33,445 --> 01:23:34,641
Oh, thank you, James.
1327
01:23:34,675 --> 01:23:38,948
But right now...Yo!
It's time for the Raptor Rap!
1328
01:23:39,084 --> 01:23:41,968
♪ I'm a raptor ♪
♪ Doing what I can ♪
1329
01:23:42,053 --> 01:23:45,383
♪ Gonna eat everything ♪
♪ Till the appearance of man ♪
1330
01:23:45,523 --> 01:23:48,684
♪ Yo, yo, see me ♪
♪ I'm living below the soil ♪
1331
01:23:48,824 --> 01:23:51,994
♪ I'll be back ♪
♪ But I'm coming as oil ♪
1332
01:23:55,094 --> 01:23:57,793
Very impressive, Mr Hillard!
1333
01:23:57,850 --> 01:24:00,910
Ah, I didn't know anybody was watching.
I was just playing. I don't think...
1334
01:24:00,971 --> 01:24:02,604
I was watching.
That's funny stuff.
1335
01:24:02,702 --> 01:24:05,565
- Well, thanks.
- I think kids'd like it.
1336
01:24:05,792 --> 01:24:07,998
They'd be entertained and
get some information too.
1337
01:24:08,024 --> 01:24:10,465
Yeah, that's kinda my theory.
I think you could, you know...
1338
01:24:10,525 --> 01:24:13,113
You don't have to play down to 'em,
just play to 'em.
1339
01:24:13,243 --> 01:24:15,514
Listen, I'd like to hear
some more of your ideas.
1340
01:24:15,582 --> 01:24:16,875
My ideas?
1341
01:24:16,955 --> 01:24:20,625
- How about a dinner meeting?
- Wow. OK.
1342
01:24:20,683 --> 01:24:24,158
Next Friday. Bridges Restaurant.
Seven o'clock sharp.
1343
01:24:25,171 --> 01:24:26,814
I'll be there.
1344
01:24:32,488 --> 01:24:34,078
Take five.
1345
01:24:34,265 --> 01:24:36,832
Take five million.
You're dead.
1346
01:24:40,942 --> 01:24:44,092
Well, we've just had our first
home-cooked meal.
1347
01:24:44,299 --> 01:24:45,972
I'm domestic now, huh?
1348
01:24:46,306 --> 01:24:49,495
- This is terrific, Dad.
- You want some more spaghetti?
1349
01:24:49,605 --> 01:24:50,589
No, I'm stuffed.
1350
01:24:50,643 --> 01:24:52,709
How's little garlic bread?
I made it myself.
1351
01:24:52,742 --> 01:24:55,845
Well, I didn't make it myself.
I cooked it, you know. I sliced it.
1352
01:24:55,905 --> 01:24:58,581
- Yeah, it's OK, Dad. Thank you.
- Thanks.
1353
01:24:58,721 --> 01:25:01,745
Hmm. The place looks great.
The food's terrific.
1354
01:25:02,431 --> 01:25:04,361
I'm really proud of you.
1355
01:25:05,232 --> 01:25:06,721
Yeah. Me, too.
1356
01:25:06,831 --> 01:25:08,167
Me, too.
1357
01:25:12,300 --> 01:25:13,869
I'll be right back.
1358
01:25:19,931 --> 01:25:22,067
- Thank you for knocking.
- Yeah.
1359
01:25:23,414 --> 01:25:24,621
Whoa!
1360
01:25:24,851 --> 01:25:26,861
Look at this!
1361
01:25:27,200 --> 01:25:29,733
I see you got someone to clean for you.
1362
01:25:29,886 --> 01:25:31,996
- No.
- You?
1363
01:25:33,499 --> 01:25:35,816
- Hi, guys.
- Hi, Mom.
1364
01:25:36,475 --> 01:25:39,342
- Are they ready?
- No. They haven't had dessert yet.
1365
01:25:39,430 --> 01:25:42,686
- You cooked?
- Yes. I cook, I bake, I sew.
1366
01:25:43,000 --> 01:25:46,280
Thanks to this Amish home study course,
I'm doing quite well.
1367
01:25:46,406 --> 01:25:48,834
- I'm very impressed.
- Really?
1368
01:25:49,068 --> 01:25:52,909
Give me a second chance. OK?
Let me take the kids after school.
1369
01:25:53,639 --> 01:25:56,395
I can't get rid of Mrs Doubtfire.
She's terrific.
1370
01:25:56,449 --> 01:25:57,482
Come on, Miranda.
Why not?
1371
01:25:57,549 --> 01:25:59,769
She's the best thing
that ever happened to us.
1372
01:25:59,991 --> 01:26:04,174
The kids are all doing better in school.
Chris is passing every single subject.
1373
01:26:04,281 --> 01:26:05,087
He is.
1374
01:26:05,190 --> 01:26:08,400
I-I-I find myself getting home early
just to be with them.
1375
01:26:08,433 --> 01:26:10,353
We're all doing so great.
1376
01:26:10,940 --> 01:26:11,919
P... Oh!
1377
01:26:12,298 --> 01:26:14,858
Sounds like an amazing woman.
Too good to be true.
1378
01:26:15,067 --> 01:26:16,394
She is.
1379
01:26:24,909 --> 01:26:27,482
- I kinda like the black one.
- Me, too.
1380
01:26:28,048 --> 01:26:30,408
I don't know.
Actually... Mrs Doubtfire!
1381
01:26:30,578 --> 01:26:32,777
- Yes?
- We need another woman's opinion.
1382
01:26:32,877 --> 01:26:34,938
Oh!
Then I'm your woman.
1383
01:26:35,048 --> 01:26:36,151
Which one?
1384
01:26:36,698 --> 01:26:38,058
What's the occasion?
1385
01:26:38,104 --> 01:26:40,518
- It's my birthday.
- Oh!
1386
01:26:40,658 --> 01:26:42,384
Stu's taking me out to dinner.
1387
01:26:42,431 --> 01:26:43,504
Oh!
1388
01:26:45,258 --> 01:26:47,157
- Neither.
- Neither?
1389
01:26:47,257 --> 01:26:50,551
They're both too brazen, dear.
They cry "harlot", really.
1390
01:26:50,598 --> 01:26:53,461
I mean, the red one is the traditional
color for streetwalkers, dear.
1391
01:26:53,594 --> 01:26:57,108
And the black one is far too short.
I hope you waxed.
1392
01:26:57,221 --> 01:27:00,330
They both say to me "I'm easy."
And you don't want that, do you?
1393
01:27:00,377 --> 01:27:03,529
You want to be Kilimanjaro
on your first date - inaccessible.
1394
01:27:03,673 --> 01:27:06,377
Why buy the cow
when you can get the milk for free?
1395
01:27:06,477 --> 01:27:09,917
No, let's find something
more your own age, all right?
1396
01:27:10,047 --> 01:27:12,077
Something a little less tawdry.
1397
01:27:12,533 --> 01:27:14,340
Oh, let's see.
1398
01:27:15,086 --> 01:27:18,456
How about this lovely frock?
Tasteful, elegant...
1399
01:27:18,802 --> 01:27:20,536
Don't you think?
1400
01:27:20,857 --> 01:27:24,573
And old. I wore that
to my aunt's funeral in 1976.
1401
01:27:24,680 --> 01:27:27,900
Well, the classic never dies, dear.
I think it's time to revive it.
1402
01:27:27,966 --> 01:27:29,869
- Well, I think we should ask the kids.
- All right, let's do that.
1403
01:27:29,903 --> 01:27:31,049
What do you think?
1404
01:27:31,162 --> 01:27:33,602
I'd go with the short, black one.
1405
01:27:33,976 --> 01:27:35,902
Yeah.
It's the most fun.
1406
01:27:36,419 --> 01:27:38,506
There. You see?
I-I agree.
1407
01:27:38,676 --> 01:27:40,762
Fine.
I get the frock out of here.
1408
01:27:40,882 --> 01:27:42,555
You ask my opinion,
then don't take it.
1409
01:27:42,595 --> 01:27:44,611
I will not be held responsible
for your virtue.
1410
01:27:44,645 --> 01:27:46,831
- Well, you'll be there to protect me.
- Really?
1411
01:27:46,885 --> 01:27:49,321
Stu has invited you and
the children to join us.
1412
01:27:49,388 --> 01:27:52,515
Oh, how lovely!
One big, happy family.
1413
01:27:52,555 --> 01:27:56,038
I wouldn't miss that for the world!
Should be smashing good fun!
1414
01:27:56,104 --> 01:27:57,247
Oh, I'm so glad.
1415
01:27:57,347 --> 01:27:59,940
When does this enchanted
evening take place?
1416
01:27:59,994 --> 01:28:02,200
Friday night, seven o'clock.
1417
01:28:02,804 --> 01:28:04,740
- This Friday at seven?
- Yes.
1418
01:28:04,794 --> 01:28:07,154
We're going to my favorite restaurant.
Bridges.
1419
01:28:07,707 --> 01:28:09,580
- Bridges?
- Yes.
1420
01:28:09,975 --> 01:28:12,065
- Friday at seven.
- Bridges.
1421
01:28:12,344 --> 01:28:14,278
Sorry.
Oh, uh.
1422
01:28:14,365 --> 01:28:15,178
Yes.
1423
01:28:15,285 --> 01:28:17,764
- Bridges?
- Yes! Bridges.
1424
01:28:17,934 --> 01:28:20,713
- The restaurant Bridges?
- Friday at seven.
1425
01:28:21,677 --> 01:28:23,110
- I can't.
- Whay not?
1426
01:28:23,151 --> 01:28:25,920
Please, don't.
No, it's bingo night, dear. Cancel it.
1427
01:28:26,034 --> 01:28:29,364
I can't do it. It's my turn to pull
the balls at the rectory. I can't.
1428
01:28:29,464 --> 01:28:31,527
Mrs Doubtfire, please join us.
1429
01:28:31,567 --> 01:28:34,175
- Don't do that...do that, dear.
- I can't have my birthday without you.
1430
01:28:34,215 --> 01:28:37,157
It's so important to me and
the children that you be there.
1431
01:28:37,204 --> 01:28:38,503
You're part of the family now.
1432
01:28:38,660 --> 01:28:40,534
I can't have a birthday without you.
1433
01:28:40,581 --> 01:28:43,308
It would mean so much to me
and the children, wouldn't it?
1434
01:28:43,403 --> 01:28:47,813
Please promise you'll come with us,
Mrs Doubtfire. You just have to.
1435
01:28:49,583 --> 01:28:52,074
Who could resist that little face?
1436
01:28:53,584 --> 01:28:54,638
I promise.
1437
01:28:54,832 --> 01:28:56,605
- Thank you!
- Oh.
1438
01:28:57,384 --> 01:28:58,945
Thank you, dear.
1439
01:28:59,480 --> 01:29:02,023
- Oh! Are you all right?
- I'm Fine.
1440
01:29:02,163 --> 01:29:04,247
Mmm, let's see..
Nothing.
1441
01:29:04,288 --> 01:29:06,492
- Anything in May?
- Not a thing.
1442
01:29:06,593 --> 01:29:08,218
It doesn't look good.
1443
01:29:09,511 --> 01:29:10,598
I'm sorry.
1444
01:29:10,745 --> 01:29:13,338
Mr Lundy is completely booked
for the next two months.
1445
01:29:13,433 --> 01:29:15,363
Listen, I'll meet him
any time, anywhere.
1446
01:29:15,489 --> 01:29:17,576
I'm sorry.
There's nothing I can do.
1447
01:29:17,702 --> 01:29:20,553
Please. I can't cancel.
I'll be blowing a huge opportunity.
1448
01:29:20,593 --> 01:29:23,503
Take my advice:
Don't cancel.
1449
01:29:26,812 --> 01:29:28,322
Thank you.
1450
01:29:40,950 --> 01:29:42,190
Pardon me.
1451
01:29:43,562 --> 01:29:45,105
Come along, Nattie.
1452
01:29:45,225 --> 01:29:47,201
- Hi, hello, hello, darling!
- Thank you.
1453
01:29:47,248 --> 01:29:49,015
Shouldn't you cover
your shoulders, Miranda?
1454
01:29:49,042 --> 01:29:50,089
No! I'm fine.
1455
01:29:50,301 --> 01:29:52,602
- Good evening, Mr Lundy.
- Uh, good evening.
1456
01:29:53,182 --> 01:29:54,728
Oh, God.
1457
01:29:55,695 --> 01:29:56,875
Here we go.
1458
01:29:57,035 --> 01:29:59,562
- Mrs Doubtfire, you look wonderful.
- Thank you.
1459
01:29:59,651 --> 01:30:02,119
So is everyone. Come on.
I hope you're all hungry.
1460
01:30:06,691 --> 01:30:08,041
Good evening, Mr Lundy.
1461
01:30:08,094 --> 01:30:10,555
I'm meeting someone.
Has he arrived yet?
1462
01:30:10,721 --> 01:30:12,814
No, I'm sorry.
He hasn't arrived yet.
1463
01:30:12,867 --> 01:30:15,660
But we can seat you.
Smoking or nonsmoking?
1464
01:30:15,800 --> 01:30:18,260
- Nonsmoking, please.
- Nonsmoking.
1465
01:30:18,400 --> 01:30:22,083
- Tanya will seat you. Table 15.
- This way, please.
1466
01:30:23,309 --> 01:30:26,561
- Uh, reservation. Dunmeyer.
- Yes, sir.
1467
01:30:27,271 --> 01:30:29,314
- Smoking or nonsmoking?
- Nonsmoking.
1468
01:30:29,347 --> 01:30:32,380
- Smoking!
- Mrs Doubtfire, you don't smoke.
1469
01:30:32,480 --> 01:30:34,176
No, I don't.
But I did.
1470
01:30:34,270 --> 01:30:35,123
- Oh.
- Oh.
1471
01:30:35,223 --> 01:30:38,183
Dear, I found the best way to keep
from smoking again and lighting up
1472
01:30:38,249 --> 01:30:40,025
is to be around those who do smoke.
1473
01:30:40,150 --> 01:30:44,856
I have to randomly ingest just a little bit
of nicotine and it steels my wool.
1474
01:30:44,930 --> 01:30:46,546
Oh, and I know you're Mr Health.
1475
01:30:46,593 --> 01:30:48,840
Bless you for putting
yourself in harm's way.
1476
01:30:49,060 --> 01:30:51,469
- Smoking.
- All right. Table 39.
1477
01:30:51,923 --> 01:30:52,870
- Table 39.
- 39.
1478
01:30:52,936 --> 01:30:55,669
- Follow me, please.
- My age! You're a saint.
1479
01:30:56,739 --> 01:30:59,155
Thank you very much
for humoring an old lady.
1480
01:30:59,216 --> 01:31:00,042
Thank you.
1481
01:31:09,561 --> 01:31:11,708
- Oh, he's pissed already.
- Mrs Doubtfire.
1482
01:31:11,875 --> 01:31:12,842
What?
1483
01:31:13,648 --> 01:31:17,948
- Would you like to join us?
- Oh. I thought I saw Clint Eastwood.
1484
01:31:18,088 --> 01:31:21,718
That would make my day!
He is such a stud-muffin.
1485
01:31:21,858 --> 01:31:24,694
Will you excuse me, dear?
I have to check my wrap.
1486
01:31:24,761 --> 01:31:26,124
- Oh, I can do it for you.
- Oh, no, please.
1487
01:31:26,170 --> 01:31:28,544
I'm fine.
I'm quite capable of doing... Oh.
1488
01:31:28,637 --> 01:31:31,817
All right, dear. There-There you go.
All right.
1489
01:31:31,910 --> 01:31:34,760
- Oh, and your bag too, ma'am.
- Drop it!
1490
01:31:35,007 --> 01:31:38,010
Oh, I'm very sorry, dear.
It's my medicine.
1491
01:31:38,107 --> 01:31:41,508
- I-I have to go take my medicine now.
- Well, we have water at the table.
1492
01:31:41,618 --> 01:31:43,454
I can't take it orally, dear.
1493
01:31:43,654 --> 01:31:45,527
Would you forgive me?
I'll be right back.
1494
01:31:45,628 --> 01:31:49,274
- Would you like something to drink?
- Oh, yes. A good stiff Chardonnay.
1495
01:31:49,957 --> 01:31:52,000
I like 'em light and woody.
1496
01:32:01,897 --> 01:32:03,737
Hello. Bridges Restaurant
May I help you?
1497
01:32:03,897 --> 01:32:05,357
Yes. My name is Daniel Hillard.
1498
01:32:05,437 --> 01:32:07,697
I believe Mr Lundy is
expecting me for dinner.
1499
01:32:07,773 --> 01:32:09,459
Will you tell him that
I'm running a little late?
1500
01:32:09,513 --> 01:32:11,693
I was caught on traffic,
but I'm on my way.
1501
01:32:11,747 --> 01:32:15,323
- I'll deliver the message personally, sir.
- Thank you.
1502
01:32:22,716 --> 01:32:25,705
Oh, oh, Stu!
1503
01:32:26,019 --> 01:32:27,379
- Oh.
- I hope you like it.
1504
01:32:27,425 --> 01:32:30,599
Oh, it looks gorgeous!
Thank you!
1505
01:32:30,679 --> 01:32:31,679
Oh!
1506
01:32:31,785 --> 01:32:33,885
Did I miss anything?
1507
01:32:34,658 --> 01:32:35,801
Well, yes.
Look.
1508
01:32:35,835 --> 01:32:38,528
This is the gift that Stu gave me
for my birthday.
1509
01:32:38,601 --> 01:32:39,721
Oh!
1510
01:32:40,494 --> 01:32:41,834
Isn't it gorgeous!
1511
01:32:41,861 --> 01:32:42,894
- You like it.
- Is it real?
1512
01:32:42,947 --> 01:32:44,977
It is very real, Mrs Doubtfire.
Very real.
1513
01:32:45,023 --> 01:32:47,477
You can either wear that or
feed a small country.
1514
01:32:47,530 --> 01:32:50,149
That's so nice.
So decadent.
1515
01:32:50,220 --> 01:32:52,387
Mommy, I need to go.
1516
01:32:53,853 --> 01:32:56,786
- Mrs Doubtfire, would you take her?
- No. You.
1517
01:32:57,256 --> 01:33:00,679
- She wants you, dear.
- Well, I'll be right back.
1518
01:33:00,755 --> 01:33:01,845
OK.
1519
01:33:06,794 --> 01:33:08,824
Yes, well then...
1520
01:33:08,964 --> 01:33:12,525
Children, look at that lovely
dessert tray over there.
1521
01:33:12,635 --> 01:33:16,005
Why don't you go over and pick what
you'd like now so they could reserve it?
1522
01:33:16,078 --> 01:33:17,131
All right.
1523
01:33:17,205 --> 01:33:19,235
- We'll be back.
- All right.
1524
01:33:21,374 --> 01:33:23,690
That's a pretty impressive
bauble you got her.
1525
01:33:23,830 --> 01:33:26,157
Huh? Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
1526
01:33:26,534 --> 01:33:27,844
A fella gives a gift like that,
1527
01:33:27,884 --> 01:33:30,750
he wants more than
a piece of her heart, eh?
1528
01:33:31,290 --> 01:33:33,854
Bit of a going-down payment, huh?
1529
01:33:33,930 --> 01:33:37,560
- Excuse me?
- You know, dear. Sink the sub.
1530
01:33:37,724 --> 01:33:40,106
Hide the weasel?
Park the porpoise?
1531
01:33:40,259 --> 01:33:42,185
Bit of the old humpty dumpty?
1532
01:33:42,294 --> 01:33:45,777
Little Jack Horny?
The horizontal mambo? Huh?
1533
01:33:45,857 --> 01:33:47,063
Mrs Doubtfire...
1534
01:33:47,124 --> 01:33:50,563
The bone dance, eh?
Rumpleforeskin? Baloney bop?
1535
01:33:50,673 --> 01:33:53,202
Bit of the old cunning linguistics?
Huh?
1536
01:33:53,249 --> 01:33:54,436
Mrs Doubtfire, please.
1537
01:33:54,490 --> 01:33:57,477
Oh, dear. I'm sorry for being
a little graphic. Sorry.
1538
01:33:58,317 --> 01:34:00,580
I hope you're up for
a little competition.
1539
01:34:00,694 --> 01:34:01,761
I beg your pardon?
1540
01:34:01,813 --> 01:34:03,993
She's got a power tool
in the bedroom, dear.
1541
01:34:04,107 --> 01:34:07,400
It's her personal jackhammer.
She could break sidewalk with that.
1542
01:34:07,585 --> 01:34:11,023
She uses it and the lights dim.
It's like a prison movie.
1543
01:34:11,081 --> 01:34:13,308
Amazed she hasn't chipped her teeth.
1544
01:34:13,388 --> 01:34:14,621
Oh!
1545
01:34:15,679 --> 01:34:17,739
I hope you bring cocktail sauce.
1546
01:34:18,953 --> 01:34:21,801
She's got the crabs, dear.
And I don't mean Dungeness.
1547
01:34:22,672 --> 01:34:25,508
I'm being blunt as a spoon, aren't I?
1548
01:34:25,902 --> 01:34:28,048
Forgive me.
Oh!
1549
01:34:33,169 --> 01:34:35,999
It's the wine.
Oh, gosh!
1550
01:34:36,312 --> 01:34:40,004
Be back in a flash.
All right? My tiny bladder.
1551
01:34:43,555 --> 01:34:45,515
- Mrs Doubtfire!
- What?!
1552
01:34:45,921 --> 01:34:49,891
- You're going into the men's room.
- No! Oh, so it is!
1553
01:34:49,991 --> 01:34:54,001
I do need new glasses, dear.
Sorry!
1554
01:34:56,422 --> 01:34:57,974
Hello!
1555
01:35:27,011 --> 01:35:27,951
Hah!
1556
01:35:28,097 --> 01:35:30,117
Jesus!
God!
1557
01:35:42,299 --> 01:35:45,595
- Excuse me. May I have a menu?
- Of course.
1558
01:35:47,887 --> 01:35:50,817
- What's France like?
- France's very beautiful.
1559
01:35:53,892 --> 01:35:55,776
Thank you very much.
1560
01:35:57,290 --> 01:35:59,219
- Mr Lundy.
- Oh, hi.
1561
01:35:59,359 --> 01:36:02,919
- Sorry I'm late. Did you get my message?
- Yes. Sit down.
1562
01:36:03,029 --> 01:36:05,462
- How about a drink?
- Oh, sure. I'll have what he's having.
1563
01:36:05,516 --> 01:36:06,196
All righty.
1564
01:36:06,269 --> 01:36:08,239
- Double Chivas on the rocks.
- Double Chivas...
1565
01:36:08,336 --> 01:36:10,092
Bring him two doubles so he can catch up.
1566
01:36:10,152 --> 01:36:11,845
Two doubles. All right.
I'll be right back.
1567
01:36:11,898 --> 01:36:14,441
Scotch drinker, huh?
That's my kinda guy!
1568
01:36:14,481 --> 01:36:16,741
Gentlemen, start your engines.
1569
01:36:21,649 --> 01:36:23,662
OK, everybody.
Are we ready to order?
1570
01:36:23,743 --> 01:36:26,702
Yes, I believe we are.
All right, children, fire away.
1571
01:36:26,876 --> 01:36:29,236
Shouldn't we wait for Mrs Doubtfire?
1572
01:36:30,302 --> 01:36:31,599
Yes.
1573
01:36:33,432 --> 01:36:34,652
OK.
1574
01:36:36,152 --> 01:36:37,659
- Hmm!
- Hmm!
1575
01:36:38,721 --> 01:36:40,321
- Ah!
- Ah!
1576
01:36:40,687 --> 01:36:42,813
- Ah hah ha!
- Ah hah ha!
1577
01:36:43,204 --> 01:36:45,397
- Come on.
- How are we doin' over here, OK?
1578
01:36:45,483 --> 01:36:46,310
Oh, yes.
1579
01:36:46,364 --> 01:36:48,283
- One more for you.
- Yeah, yeah.
1580
01:36:52,637 --> 01:36:53,679
Now...
1581
01:36:55,686 --> 01:36:58,617
What can you do to help
the ratings on the kid show?
1582
01:36:58,717 --> 01:37:01,220
Bottom line: Don't patronize kids.
You know.
1583
01:37:01,287 --> 01:37:03,354
They're little people.
You gotta personalize it.
1584
01:37:03,387 --> 01:37:04,927
Make it fun and entertaining.
1585
01:37:04,987 --> 01:37:07,567
If it's something you'd enjoy,
they'd enjoy it. Huh?
1586
01:37:07,680 --> 01:37:10,217
- That's what I'm interested in.
- Bingo! Uh huh.
1587
01:37:10,570 --> 01:37:13,263
Well, I wonder what's happened
to Mrs Doubtfire.
1588
01:37:13,317 --> 01:37:17,147
- We could cross over to the news.
- Would you excuse me for a moment?
1589
01:37:17,314 --> 01:37:18,440
But...
1590
01:37:49,365 --> 01:37:52,375
- May I help you, ma'am?
- Yes, dear. Thank you very much.
1591
01:37:52,468 --> 01:37:54,094
Thank you.
Oh, oh!
1592
01:37:54,182 --> 01:37:55,355
- Oh!
- Oh!
1593
01:37:55,441 --> 01:37:56,937
- Oh, my goodness!
- I'm so sorry!
1594
01:37:57,011 --> 01:37:59,704
- Mrs Doubtfire, are you all right?
- It's my fault.
1595
01:37:59,758 --> 01:38:00,678
My fault.
1596
01:38:02,085 --> 01:38:05,145
- Forgive me. Excuse me.
- I'm all right. There we go.
1597
01:38:05,228 --> 01:38:08,061
Thank you.
Oh, let's see here!
1598
01:38:08,122 --> 01:38:09,921
- May I take your order, ma'am?
- Oh, yes.
1599
01:38:09,991 --> 01:38:11,131
Whoa!
1600
01:38:12,524 --> 01:38:16,933
Let's see.
I'll have the poached salmon.
1601
01:38:17,013 --> 01:38:19,840
- Yes, ma'am. And you, sir?
- I'll have the jambalaya.
1602
01:38:19,895 --> 01:38:22,365
And make mine not spicy.
I'm allergic to pepper.
1603
01:38:22,432 --> 01:38:24,019
Not spicy.
Certainly, sir.
1604
01:38:24,134 --> 01:38:26,438
Thank you.
Cheers. Your health.
1605
01:38:37,094 --> 01:38:38,593
Oh, my God.
1606
01:38:39,337 --> 01:38:41,790
So sorry about that.
1607
01:38:42,164 --> 01:38:43,431
Just one moment.
1608
01:38:43,484 --> 01:38:45,544
Carpe dentum - seize the teeth.
1609
01:38:45,623 --> 01:38:47,523
- Let me assist you.
- Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
1610
01:38:47,623 --> 01:38:51,393
A spoon. Oh, how clever.
Wait. I've got it.
1611
01:38:51,523 --> 01:38:53,723
Wait. Back up. There.
Make a pincer.
1612
01:38:53,840 --> 01:38:54,983
Come at it from both sides.
1613
01:38:55,056 --> 01:38:58,023
- Together - up, up, up, up. Oh!
- Here we go. That's it. Here we go.
1614
01:38:58,503 --> 01:39:00,524
Thank you.
There it is.
1615
01:39:01,770 --> 01:39:04,029
Oh, just shake them off,
like a dog.
1616
01:39:04,203 --> 01:39:06,262
Sorry.
Oh, forgive me.
1617
01:39:06,372 --> 01:39:08,879
- That's all right.
- Sorry about my spray.
1618
01:39:10,442 --> 01:39:11,772
I'll be right back.
1619
01:39:11,959 --> 01:39:14,566
I just have to re-attach them
with a little adhesive.
1620
01:39:14,678 --> 01:39:17,418
Yes, and tell him to purée
the salmon, if you will, please.
1621
01:39:17,465 --> 01:39:18,285
Purée the salmon.
1622
01:39:18,338 --> 01:39:20,848
Thank you.
Sorry about that.
1623
01:39:27,591 --> 01:39:29,314
Oh, that one.
1624
01:39:34,007 --> 01:39:37,010
Oh. I didn't know there was
someone else in here.
1625
01:39:37,090 --> 01:39:38,403
Sorry.
1626
01:39:44,554 --> 01:39:46,486
Damn it!
Oh, there it is.
1627
01:39:46,767 --> 01:39:47,806
Oh!
1628
01:39:49,900 --> 01:39:51,380
Excuse me.
1629
01:39:59,882 --> 01:40:02,042
- Oh!
- Red and this big.
1630
01:40:03,078 --> 01:40:04,345
Argh!
1631
01:40:11,946 --> 01:40:13,053
Mmm.
1632
01:40:13,299 --> 01:40:14,812
Where the hell have you been?
1633
01:40:14,899 --> 01:40:17,632
I took a liberty of ordering
you another Scotch.
1634
01:40:17,711 --> 01:40:18,954
Bully!
1635
01:40:24,880 --> 01:40:26,556
- Daniel?
- Huh?
1636
01:40:27,546 --> 01:40:29,810
Are you wearing ladies' perfume?
1637
01:40:32,390 --> 01:40:33,860
Yes, I am.
1638
01:40:36,952 --> 01:40:39,059
Are you wearing lipstick?
1639
01:40:41,469 --> 01:40:42,465
Yeah.
1640
01:40:43,799 --> 01:40:44,999
Why?
1641
01:40:46,353 --> 01:40:47,565
It rubbed off.
1642
01:40:48,559 --> 01:40:49,692
From whom?
1643
01:40:51,348 --> 01:40:54,188
A girl I used to date.
And she's a waitress.
1644
01:40:54,349 --> 01:40:56,409
- A waitress? Here?
- Oh, yeah.
1645
01:40:57,128 --> 01:41:01,519
On the way to the bathroom...
Couldn't keep her hands off me.
1646
01:41:03,819 --> 01:41:07,415
- You dog!
- You scallywag!
1647
01:41:11,382 --> 01:41:15,029
I got the stretch outside.
Does your girlfriend have a girlfriend?
1648
01:41:15,128 --> 01:41:17,798
- Hey, it's the '90s.
- No, no! I mean...
1649
01:41:18,841 --> 01:41:21,531
Does she have a lady friend for me?
1650
01:41:21,777 --> 01:41:23,958
- Go ahead. Ask her.
- I'll go ask her.
1651
01:41:24,078 --> 01:41:27,191
Go on.
Come on, go get 'em!
1652
01:41:34,489 --> 01:41:36,518
- Hey, Dan! Dan!
- Yeah.
1653
01:41:36,598 --> 01:41:38,665
Hey, I need my order for table 39!
1654
01:41:38,739 --> 01:41:42,612
- Relax. It'll be out in a minute.
- Thank you! Great. Geez.
1655
01:41:47,834 --> 01:41:49,000
39.
1656
01:42:01,701 --> 01:42:03,867
Come on.
Table 39!
1657
01:42:20,296 --> 01:42:21,926
Hot jambalaya!
1658
01:42:33,976 --> 01:42:36,157
- Can I help you, ma'am?
- Oh, sorry I'm late.
1659
01:42:36,254 --> 01:42:39,887
But after all those Scotches
I had to piss like a racehorse. Hmm.
1660
01:42:42,715 --> 01:42:44,874
- Daniel?
- Yeah.
1661
01:42:46,124 --> 01:42:49,857
Why in God's name
are you dressed like a woman?!
1662
01:42:54,724 --> 01:42:56,194
Oh, damn.
1663
01:42:56,907 --> 01:42:58,094
I...
1664
01:43:03,174 --> 01:43:04,297
Well...
1665
01:43:07,861 --> 01:43:10,437
I'd like you to meet
the host of your new show.
1666
01:43:11,221 --> 01:43:12,637
Host?
1667
01:43:13,257 --> 01:43:15,560
Euphegenia Doubtfire, dear.
1668
01:43:16,020 --> 01:43:19,820
I specialize in the education
and entertainment of children.
1669
01:43:22,381 --> 01:43:23,757
Surprise!
1670
01:43:27,624 --> 01:43:29,290
Oh, thank you very much.
1671
01:43:29,633 --> 01:43:32,683
- This looks terrific, heh?
- Where's Mrs Doubtfire?
1672
01:43:32,742 --> 01:43:34,503
Well, I hope the dear lady's all right.
1673
01:43:34,612 --> 01:43:36,352
- Shall we start?
- Yes. Yes.
1674
01:43:36,419 --> 01:43:38,138
Let's start.
I don't want it to get cold.
1675
01:43:38,192 --> 01:43:40,232
- Go ahead.
- Bon appetit, huh.
1676
01:43:41,128 --> 01:43:44,482
All right. Tell me. Why would
Mrs Doubtfire be a good host?
1677
01:43:44,548 --> 01:43:49,573
I'm a hip old granny who could
hip-hop, bebop, dance till ya drop,
1678
01:43:49,649 --> 01:43:52,739
and yo, yo, make a wicked cup of cocoa.
1679
01:44:09,035 --> 01:44:10,089
Stu?
1680
01:44:11,032 --> 01:44:13,788
Oh, he's choking.
He's choking!
1681
01:44:13,862 --> 01:44:17,472
He's choking! Help us! Somebody help!
He's choking! Help us!
1682
01:44:17,612 --> 01:44:19,773
Oh, God!
Oh, oh, God!
1683
01:44:19,883 --> 01:44:22,899
- He's choking here! Call 911!
- Oh, no. I killed the bastard.
1684
01:44:22,939 --> 01:44:23,666
He's choking!
1685
01:44:23,713 --> 01:44:27,615
- Mrs Doubtfire! Help us! He's choking!
- Help is on the way, dear!
1686
01:44:27,852 --> 01:44:30,355
- Mrs Doubtfire!
- Help is on the way!
1687
01:44:30,708 --> 01:44:33,982
- Mrs Doubtfire, he's choking!
- Hold on, dear.
1688
01:44:37,370 --> 01:44:40,892
One more time, dear.
Oh, no. Work with me!
1689
01:44:41,032 --> 01:44:43,420
Come on!
Come on!
1690
01:44:43,502 --> 01:44:44,722
Uh!
Uh!
1691
01:44:44,769 --> 01:44:45,822
My God!
1692
01:44:45,889 --> 01:44:47,422
Uh!
Uh!
1693
01:44:47,569 --> 01:44:49,588
Uh!
Come on.
1694
01:45:01,510 --> 01:45:03,710
I'm all right.
I'm all right.
1695
01:45:03,951 --> 01:45:05,774
- Are you all right?
- Yes.
1696
01:45:05,847 --> 01:45:07,261
Almost lost you.
1697
01:45:13,557 --> 01:45:15,971
- Dad.
- Oh, my...
1698
01:45:18,689 --> 01:45:19,917
Daddy?
1699
01:45:25,653 --> 01:45:27,862
Yeah, honey. It's me.
1700
01:45:28,116 --> 01:45:29,409
Oh!
1701
01:45:30,180 --> 01:45:31,696
Happy birthday.
1702
01:45:32,030 --> 01:45:32,957
Oh!
1703
01:45:34,393 --> 01:45:35,663
Daniel...
1704
01:45:35,869 --> 01:45:37,959
Daniel!
Oh, my God!
1705
01:45:38,590 --> 01:45:41,280
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
1706
01:45:41,420 --> 01:45:43,326
The whole time?
The whole time...
1707
01:45:43,386 --> 01:45:46,180
- You would... The whole time?!
- Oh, I'm-I'm sorry, Miranda. Please?
1708
01:45:46,229 --> 01:45:50,052
Don't talk to me!
Don't touch me! Don't touch me!
1709
01:45:50,125 --> 01:45:53,190
I have to go. We have to leave now.
I have to leave!
1710
01:45:53,340 --> 01:45:56,129
We have to leave now!
I have to go! We're going.
1711
01:45:59,065 --> 01:46:01,516
- You guys go.
- I'm sorry, Dad.
1712
01:46:02,778 --> 01:46:03,941
Bye.
1713
01:46:05,669 --> 01:46:07,729
Sorry about the pepper.
I was...
1714
01:46:08,088 --> 01:46:09,155
Yeah.
1715
01:46:19,179 --> 01:46:21,312
What are you lookin' at? Show's over.
1716
01:46:27,838 --> 01:46:31,146
Miss Robeson,
do you have any closing remarks?
1717
01:46:31,713 --> 01:46:33,553
Nothing further, Your Honor.
1718
01:46:34,725 --> 01:46:39,093
Mr Hillard, since you've determined
to act as your own attorney,
1719
01:46:39,413 --> 01:46:42,608
you are entitled to make
a closing statement at this time.
1720
01:46:53,058 --> 01:46:56,454
Your Honor, in the past two months,
I've secured a residence,
1721
01:46:56,768 --> 01:46:58,188
I refurbished that residence.
1722
01:46:58,228 --> 01:47:00,881
And made it "an environment
fit for children".
1723
01:47:01,021 --> 01:47:02,121
Those are your words.
1724
01:47:02,634 --> 01:47:04,860
And I'm also holding down a job
as a shipping clerk.
1725
01:47:04,917 --> 01:47:07,537
So I-I believe I met
your requirements.
1726
01:47:08,077 --> 01:47:09,710
Ahead of schedule.
1727
01:47:11,244 --> 01:47:13,067
In regards to my behavior,
1728
01:47:13,817 --> 01:47:15,714
I can only plead insanity.
1729
01:47:16,267 --> 01:47:18,576
Because, ever since my children were born,
1730
01:47:18,686 --> 01:47:21,482
the moment I looked at them,
I was crazy about them.
1731
01:47:21,829 --> 01:47:24,546
Once I held them,
I was hooked.
1732
01:47:25,996 --> 01:47:28,016
I'm addicted to my children, sir.
1733
01:47:28,972 --> 01:47:30,906
I love them with all my heart.
1734
01:47:30,999 --> 01:47:35,489
And the idea of someone telling me I can't
be with them, I can't see them every day...
1735
01:47:36,306 --> 01:47:38,849
It's like someone saying I can't have air.
1736
01:47:39,106 --> 01:47:42,295
I can't live without air,
and I can't live without them.
1737
01:47:43,009 --> 01:47:45,959
Listen, I would do anything.
I just want to be with them.
1738
01:47:46,052 --> 01:47:47,872
You know I need that, sir.
1739
01:47:49,052 --> 01:47:50,852
We have a history.
1740
01:47:52,616 --> 01:47:53,479
And I just...
1741
01:47:53,846 --> 01:47:57,126
They mean everything to me.
And they need me as much as I need them.
1742
01:48:00,095 --> 01:48:01,525
So, please.
1743
01:48:01,755 --> 01:48:03,738
Don't take my kids away from me.
1744
01:48:09,608 --> 01:48:10,864
Thank you.
1745
01:48:21,121 --> 01:48:22,582
Mr Hillard...
1746
01:48:23,432 --> 01:48:26,328
You've been able to fool
a lot of people into believing
1747
01:48:26,362 --> 01:48:28,968
that you're a 60-year-old woman.
1748
01:48:29,484 --> 01:48:30,935
No easy task.
1749
01:48:31,684 --> 01:48:38,287
And your little speech seemed to be
very heartfelt and genuine.
1750
01:48:40,310 --> 01:48:44,233
But I believe it
to be a terrific performance
1751
01:48:44,280 --> 01:48:46,799
by a very gifted actor.
Nothing more.
1752
01:48:46,934 --> 01:48:50,373
- No. It's not that.
- The reality, Mr Hillard,
1753
01:48:50,784 --> 01:48:56,177
is that your lifestyle over the past month
has been very unorthodox.
1754
01:48:56,413 --> 01:49:00,101
And I refuse to further subject
three innocent children
1755
01:49:00,153 --> 01:49:03,736
to your peculiar
and potentially harmful behavior.
1756
01:49:04,523 --> 01:49:08,236
It is this court's decision
to award full custody to Mrs Hillard.
1757
01:49:08,324 --> 01:49:09,583
Oh, God!
No, sir. Please.
1758
01:49:09,762 --> 01:49:13,353
You will have supervised
visitation rights every Saturday.
1759
01:49:13,420 --> 01:49:14,882
- Supervised, sir?
- Yes.
1760
01:49:14,992 --> 01:49:18,822
A court liaison will accompany you
when you spend time with the children.
1761
01:49:19,188 --> 01:49:22,331
I am suggesting a period of
psychological testing
1762
01:49:22,391 --> 01:49:25,018
and perhaps treatment for you, Mr Hillard.
1763
01:49:25,899 --> 01:49:29,532
We will re-examine this case
one year from now.
1764
01:49:29,642 --> 01:49:31,566
Thank you.
Court is adjourned.
1765
01:49:46,362 --> 01:49:49,599
I don't do laundry.
I don't do windows. I don't do carpets.
1766
01:49:49,661 --> 01:49:53,646
I don't do bathtubs. I don't do toilets.
And I don't do diapers.
1767
01:49:53,706 --> 01:49:56,631
My children have been potty-trained
for quite some time.
1768
01:49:56,801 --> 01:49:59,431
Well, I don't do washing.
I don't do basements.
1769
01:49:59,571 --> 01:50:02,994
I don't do dinners.
I don't do reading.
1770
01:50:03,994 --> 01:50:04,901
Ah!
1771
01:50:06,081 --> 01:50:10,241
Yes. Well, we have your number.
Thank you so much for coming.
1772
01:50:10,381 --> 01:50:12,941
- We'll be getting back to you.
- Thank you.
1773
01:50:13,051 --> 01:50:14,784
I'll show you to the door.
1774
01:50:17,960 --> 01:50:20,790
Yes, here we are.
Please...
1775
01:50:26,370 --> 01:50:29,133
Laura, that shipment
has been delayed three times.
1776
01:50:29,226 --> 01:50:31,570
- Well, shipments are late sometimes.
- Yes, but...
1777
01:50:31,633 --> 01:50:34,013
Laura, I'm not gonna wait
another six months for it.
1778
01:50:34,053 --> 01:50:35,060
OK, I'll try to...
1779
01:50:35,110 --> 01:50:37,169
You do that.
Call me back.
1780
01:50:39,450 --> 01:50:42,540
Oh, guys, please don't be so depressed.
1781
01:50:42,803 --> 01:50:44,626
Everything's gonna be all right.
1782
01:50:45,119 --> 01:50:48,139
- I miss her spaghetti.
- I miss her jokes.
1783
01:50:48,689 --> 01:50:50,549
I miss her stories.
1784
01:50:51,219 --> 01:50:55,350
Don't worry. We will find someone.
There are plenty of people out there.
1785
01:50:55,460 --> 01:50:57,399
Nobody like her.
1786
01:50:59,004 --> 01:51:00,437
All right, I admit.
1787
01:51:00,564 --> 01:51:03,104
Things were a lot nicer
when she was around.
1788
01:51:03,931 --> 01:51:06,160
The house was so warm and cosy and...
1789
01:51:06,241 --> 01:51:08,801
the beds were always made,
and the dinner was...
1790
01:51:09,339 --> 01:51:11,302
She isn't real!
1791
01:51:11,376 --> 01:51:14,083
We have to stop referring to her
as if she were a real person.
1792
01:51:14,169 --> 01:51:17,179
Hello, my dears!
1793
01:51:18,318 --> 01:51:20,978
We have a wonderful show today.
1794
01:51:21,088 --> 01:51:24,204
We have Mr Van Zandt
from the Sierra Club,
1795
01:51:24,284 --> 01:51:28,574
and he's going to bring some animals
that are endangered species.
1796
01:51:28,741 --> 01:51:32,234
- Do you know what that means, poppets?
- Wait a minute. Did you say "puppet"?
1797
01:51:32,307 --> 01:51:36,138
Oh, no, dear! Oh, it's Kovacs!
Welcome, Kovacs!
1798
01:51:36,191 --> 01:51:39,760
Hi, guys. Did you say "extinction"?
Did you say something? Something stinks?
1799
01:51:39,827 --> 01:51:42,531
It's not something smelling bad.
I'm talking about the extinction.
1800
01:51:42,585 --> 01:51:45,648
That means when there's no more
of a particular animal.
1801
01:51:45,695 --> 01:51:48,237
- Oh, my God.
- Doesn't that make you a little mad?
1802
01:51:48,308 --> 01:51:50,435
- Makes meery mad!
- Well, tell people about it.
1803
01:51:50,477 --> 01:51:52,807
I'm mad! You know why?
Because next, it's the chimps!
1804
01:51:52,853 --> 01:51:55,487
That's right, there are fewer chimps
in the world than the year...
1805
01:51:55,533 --> 01:51:59,178
Doesn't it make you mad that
humans play your parts in movies?
1806
01:51:59,224 --> 01:52:01,611
- Ooh! Cheated "Planet of the Apes"
- Right.
1807
01:52:01,658 --> 01:52:03,784
Who gets this role? Roddy McDowall!
1808
01:52:03,831 --> 01:52:05,345
- Ooh, wee.
- I'd be better than that!
1809
01:52:05,371 --> 01:52:07,394
I'd be better than Charlton Heston!
1810
01:52:07,474 --> 01:52:09,568
- And your rug is better, too.
- Much better.
1811
01:52:09,597 --> 01:52:12,081
You could fly to Persia on that rug.
1812
01:52:12,740 --> 01:52:14,700
But, you know boys and girls?
1813
01:52:25,788 --> 01:52:28,088
Shall we tell them where
we're going tomorrow?
1814
01:52:28,149 --> 01:52:29,609
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They wanna know.
1815
01:52:29,686 --> 01:52:32,676
Tomorrow, poppets,
we're taking a wonderful trip.
1816
01:52:32,786 --> 01:52:36,222
But you don't have to pack your bags
because we're going in our mind.
1817
01:52:36,276 --> 01:52:41,526
We're going across the Atlantic Ocean
to England, where I came from.
1818
01:52:41,626 --> 01:52:44,465
- You came from England, huh?
- I did, dear. It's a wonderful country.
1819
01:52:44,529 --> 01:52:47,055
- Do you know about England?
- I just know that it's an island.
1820
01:52:47,165 --> 01:52:49,236
It's an island, dear.
And a glorious one.
1821
01:52:49,322 --> 01:52:52,512
Because they have a queen and
they have a royal family.
1822
01:52:52,538 --> 01:52:54,258
Oh! Just like a poker game!
1823
01:52:54,305 --> 01:52:55,438
It's a full house.
1824
01:52:55,465 --> 01:52:57,332
Couple of cards aren't living
at home any more.
1825
01:52:57,372 --> 01:53:00,235
Not any more dear.
Thanks to mobile phones. No, no.
1826
01:53:00,515 --> 01:53:03,075
Do you know what language
they speak in England?
1827
01:53:03,185 --> 01:53:04,148
Pakistani?
1828
01:53:04,195 --> 01:53:07,108
Oh! That's right, Kovacs.
In many stores they do.
1829
01:53:07,188 --> 01:53:10,015
But we'll get into that tomorrow,
boys and girls.
1830
01:53:10,155 --> 01:53:12,995
- You owe me a kiss, Kovacs.
- I'm gonna give you two.
1831
01:53:13,038 --> 01:53:14,598
- All right, dear.
- Here's one on the cheek.
1832
01:53:14,638 --> 01:53:15,578
All right.
1833
01:53:15,665 --> 01:53:20,494
- And here's a monkey bite!
- Oh, you wicked, wicked monkey!
1834
01:53:21,164 --> 01:53:24,764
Well, that's all for today.
Bye-bye.
1835
01:53:25,160 --> 01:53:26,500
Cut!
1836
01:53:27,804 --> 01:53:30,504
That's a wrap, folks!
Thank you very much.
1837
01:53:34,759 --> 01:53:38,449
We're a smash!
Number one in our time slot!
1838
01:53:38,496 --> 01:53:39,435
- Yeah?
- Yes.
1839
01:53:39,495 --> 01:53:42,862
Calls from Detroit, Cleveland,
Chicago, Los Angeles...
1840
01:53:42,954 --> 01:53:45,984
- All with offers to syndicate.
- Hollywood!
1841
01:53:46,164 --> 01:53:47,544
- Daniel?
- Whoa!
1842
01:53:47,700 --> 01:53:49,240
- Daniel?
- Yes?
1843
01:53:49,800 --> 01:53:51,220
Miranda.
1844
01:53:52,273 --> 01:53:54,054
Could I talk to you?
1845
01:53:55,970 --> 01:53:56,984
Yeah.
1846
01:53:57,653 --> 01:53:59,638
I'll be right out.
Just wait here.
1847
01:54:22,154 --> 01:54:24,237
Welcome to Euphegenia's house.
1848
01:54:25,032 --> 01:54:27,957
A little drafty but...
you know. It's nice.
1849
01:54:31,319 --> 01:54:32,989
What can I do for you?
1850
01:54:35,001 --> 01:54:37,403
First of all, congratulations on the show.
1851
01:54:37,654 --> 01:54:40,624
Oh, thanks. You got to see
the dress rehearsal, you know
1852
01:54:42,044 --> 01:54:44,250
We've...
The kids...
1853
01:54:45,498 --> 01:54:47,661
We've been watching every day.
1854
01:54:49,352 --> 01:54:51,935
It's nice to know
they can see me every day.
1855
01:54:55,260 --> 01:54:59,739
Look, Daniel. I know it's gonna take
a long time to get over all the fights and
1856
01:55:00,061 --> 01:55:02,725
all the horrible things
we said to each other.
1857
01:55:03,771 --> 01:55:06,201
It's...
It's so hard.
1858
01:55:07,901 --> 01:55:11,554
But I know somehow you and I will be
all right and we'll get through this.
1859
01:55:14,911 --> 01:55:16,506
But the kids...
1860
01:55:17,234 --> 01:55:18,547
I uh...
1861
01:55:19,950 --> 01:55:21,646
I don't wanna hurt our children.
1862
01:55:24,663 --> 01:55:26,563
So what do you want me to do?
1863
01:55:26,921 --> 01:55:31,070
You want me to pretend like everything's
all right? Put on a happy face? Smile?
1864
01:55:32,930 --> 01:55:35,849
Jesus, Miranda.
You took my children away from me.
1865
01:55:36,449 --> 01:55:38,529
I can only see them now with supervision.
1866
01:55:38,612 --> 01:55:42,540
Some woman watches me with the kids
like I'm some sort of deviant.
1867
01:55:42,670 --> 01:55:44,885
If I try to hug them,
she wonders why.
1868
01:55:44,959 --> 01:55:46,566
You know what that's like?
1869
01:55:46,696 --> 01:55:49,573
You just sat there in that courtroom.
You knew the truth. You didn't say a word.
1870
01:55:49,620 --> 01:55:51,800
You let that judge pass
that despicable sentence.
1871
01:55:51,879 --> 01:55:53,629
- I was angry.
- Oh, God.
1872
01:55:53,662 --> 01:55:54,675
Look, you hurt me, too!
1873
01:55:54,702 --> 01:55:57,209
Oh, you ripped my heart out!
And you come back to do it again.
1874
01:55:57,269 --> 01:55:57,969
You lied to us.
1875
01:55:58,042 --> 01:55:58,989
- You know what?
- What?
1876
01:55:59,022 --> 01:56:00,689
I don't wanna do this any more.
1877
01:56:00,719 --> 01:56:03,709
I don't wanna do any more
"who did what to whom".
1878
01:56:07,041 --> 01:56:09,941
Ever since this happened,
I've been trying to make sense out of it.
1879
01:56:10,367 --> 01:56:12,314
And the only thing I know
to be true in my heart
1880
01:56:12,368 --> 01:56:14,581
is that the children were happier
1881
01:56:14,769 --> 01:56:17,279
when Mrs Doubtfire
was a part of their lives.
1882
01:56:17,518 --> 01:56:18,812
Yeah?
1883
01:56:19,952 --> 01:56:20,885
She...
1884
01:56:22,132 --> 01:56:23,798
She brought out the best in them.
1885
01:56:24,724 --> 01:56:26,605
She brought out the best in you.
1886
01:56:26,912 --> 01:56:28,518
And you.
1887
01:56:28,779 --> 01:56:29,679
Yeah.
1888
01:56:33,621 --> 01:56:35,424
They miss her terribly.
1889
01:56:38,388 --> 01:56:40,098
What are you saying?
1890
01:56:40,378 --> 01:56:41,931
Daniel, the kids need you.
1891
01:56:50,890 --> 01:56:52,233
I need them.
1892
01:56:59,604 --> 01:57:03,116
Well, tomorrow we'll have Frank,
who is a make-up artist.
1893
01:57:04,374 --> 01:57:06,480
A big knock at the door.
1894
01:57:06,670 --> 01:57:09,946
Who could that be?
And do we have enough time?
1895
01:57:10,704 --> 01:57:13,284
Mr Sprinkles, boys and girls!
1896
01:57:13,337 --> 01:57:16,100
Hello Mr Sprinkles!
What do you have for me today?
1897
01:57:16,147 --> 01:57:19,513
Mrs Doubtflier,
I've got a letter from Katie...
1898
01:57:21,597 --> 01:57:23,507
It's the new baby-sitter.
1899
01:57:24,665 --> 01:57:27,587
Come on, guys! Come on!
Get up! Let's go!
1900
01:57:29,183 --> 01:57:30,493
Come on.
1901
01:57:32,092 --> 01:57:33,972
It's gonna be all right.
1902
01:57:34,482 --> 01:57:37,312
Chris, wait right over there.
Everybody.
1903
01:57:48,844 --> 01:57:50,389
Daddy!
1904
01:57:52,825 --> 01:57:54,143
Hi.
1905
01:57:55,495 --> 01:57:56,805
What's going on?
1906
01:57:57,192 --> 01:57:59,212
I'm here to pick you up.
1907
01:57:59,628 --> 01:58:03,565
Your dad's gonna take you
for a few hours every day after school.
1908
01:58:04,052 --> 01:58:05,288
Really?
1909
01:58:06,715 --> 01:58:09,548
What about the courts?
That legal stuff.
1910
01:58:09,708 --> 01:58:12,474
- Ask your mom.
- I took care of it.
1911
01:58:13,154 --> 01:58:16,904
No more supervised visits.
No more court liaison.
1912
01:58:17,110 --> 01:58:20,457
- Just us?
- Just us.
1913
01:58:22,762 --> 01:58:23,802
Oh.
1914
01:58:25,342 --> 01:58:26,769
Oh, oh, oh.
1915
01:58:31,480 --> 01:58:33,043
Go get Mr Bear.
1916
01:58:33,880 --> 01:58:36,469
- Go get your stuff. Hurry up.
- All right.
1917
01:58:41,313 --> 01:58:44,714
- Would you like to come in?
- No, I'll wait outside.
1918
01:58:45,223 --> 01:58:46,410
OK.
1919
01:58:49,607 --> 01:58:51,157
Thank you.
1920
01:58:56,801 --> 01:58:58,104
See you.
1921
01:59:03,202 --> 01:59:04,909
"Dear Mrs Doubtfire,"
1922
01:59:05,056 --> 01:59:08,509
"Two months ago my mom and
dad decided to separate. "
1923
01:59:08,603 --> 01:59:10,859
"Now they live in different houses. "
1924
01:59:11,180 --> 01:59:14,466
"My brother Andrew says that
we aren't a real family any more."
1925
01:59:14,633 --> 01:59:16,040
"Is this true?"
1926
01:59:16,295 --> 01:59:18,354
"Did I lose my family?"
1927
01:59:18,535 --> 01:59:21,962
"Is there anything I could do
to get my parents back together?"
1928
01:59:23,001 --> 01:59:25,251
"Sincerely, Katie McCormick. "
1929
01:59:27,909 --> 01:59:29,940
Oh, my dear Katie.
1930
01:59:31,593 --> 01:59:33,666
You know, some parents
when they're angry,
1931
01:59:33,807 --> 01:59:36,760
they get along much better
when they don't live together.
1932
01:59:37,201 --> 01:59:40,677
They don't fight all the time
and they can become better people.
1933
01:59:40,831 --> 01:59:44,091
And much better mommies
and daddies for you.
1934
01:59:44,201 --> 01:59:47,157
And sometimes they get back together.
1935
01:59:48,342 --> 01:59:50,551
And sometimes they don't, dear.
1936
01:59:51,142 --> 01:59:52,944
And if they don't,
1937
01:59:53,217 --> 01:59:55,047
don't blame yourself.
1938
01:59:55,773 --> 02:00:00,620
Just because they don't love each other
doesn't mean that they don't love you.
1939
02:00:02,194 --> 02:00:05,443
There are all sorts of
different families, Katie.
1940
02:00:05,861 --> 02:00:09,704
Some families have one mommy,
some families have one daddy,
1941
02:00:09,777 --> 02:00:11,727
or-or two families.
1942
02:00:12,193 --> 02:00:14,930
Some children live with
their uncle or aunt.
1943
02:00:14,984 --> 02:00:19,641
Some live with their grandparents,
and some children live with foster parents.
1944
02:00:19,921 --> 02:00:23,254
And some live in separate homes
and some in separate neighborhoods
1945
02:00:23,307 --> 02:00:25,357
in different areas of the country.
1946
02:00:25,440 --> 02:00:31,923
They may not see each other for days,
weeks, months or even years at a time.
1947
02:00:32,613 --> 02:00:34,673
But if there's love, dear,
1948
02:00:36,390 --> 02:00:38,859
those are the ties that bind.
1949
02:00:39,689 --> 02:00:43,492
And you'll have a family
in your heart forever.
1950
02:00:45,400 --> 02:00:47,712
All my love to you, poppet.
1951
02:00:47,900 --> 02:00:49,750
You're going to be all right.
1952
02:00:52,205 --> 02:00:53,830
Bye-bye.