1
00:00:15,115 --> 00:00:17,948
Please enjoy the music
while your party is reached.
2
00:00:28,895 --> 00:00:30,328
- Hello?
- So what do you think?
3
00:00:30,430 --> 00:00:32,591
- About what?
- About tomorrow.
4
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,189
It's our first day of high school.
5
00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:37,736
If we want to be popular,
we just have to be proactive.
6
00:00:37,837 --> 00:00:39,668
Calm your proactive ass down.
7
00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:43,174
Saying you want to be popular
guarantees it isn't gonna happen.
8
00:00:43,276 --> 00:00:45,836
I'm gonna get a girlfriend.
You think that's possible?
9
00:00:45,945 --> 00:00:47,936
Anything's possible, Wade.
10
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,037
Just don't be needy.
11
00:00:49,149 --> 00:00:51,640
You got to let it come to you.
And one more thing.
12
00:00:51,818 --> 00:00:55,185
From now on,
I don't want you calling me Ryan.
13
00:00:56,823 --> 00:00:58,290
Call me T-Dog.
14
00:00:59,259 --> 00:01:00,726
- T-Dog?
- Yep.
15
00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:04,056
- What does the "T" stand for?
- I don't know.
16
00:01:04,164 --> 00:01:06,223
- But it sounds better than R-Dog.
- Yeah.
17
00:01:06,332 --> 00:01:08,960
You know, like, if a hot girl
went up to you, and she goes,
18
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:13,096
"Hey, have you met T-Dog?
Man, did you see what T-Dog did today?
19
00:01:13,206 --> 00:01:15,800
"Man, that T-Dog is crazy!"
20
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,469
That sounds like a guy
every woman would want to know.
21
00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:22,514
- Hey, do I need a nickname?
- You have one. Skeletor.
22
00:01:22,615 --> 00:01:25,516
That was last year.
I look good now. I'm filling out.
23
00:01:25,618 --> 00:01:27,950
All right, name one part of your body
that filled out, Wade.
24
00:01:28,054 --> 00:01:30,579
Name one part of your body
that isn't filled out, huh?
25
00:01:30,690 --> 00:01:32,123
I'm not trying to offend you.
26
00:01:32,225 --> 00:01:34,716
I'm just saying you shot up too fast
and you're freakishly skinny.
27
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:37,092
Oh, yeah? Well, you're too fat
and that's equally unattractive.
28
00:01:37,197 --> 00:01:38,960
- You wanna go there?
- I'm sorry.
29
00:01:39,065 --> 00:01:41,863
It's just, I want things to go well,
you know?
30
00:01:41,968 --> 00:01:44,562
- Sorry I said you're freakishly skinny.
- It's okay.
31
00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:46,002
You just are.
32
00:01:46,639 --> 00:01:49,301
Hey, go to sleep!
It's 3:00 in the morning!
33
00:01:49,409 --> 00:01:50,433
- What are you, crazy?
- Sorry.
34
00:01:50,543 --> 00:01:51,532
- Is that your stepdad?
- No one.
35
00:01:51,644 --> 00:01:52,611
- Give me that phone! Give it!
- It's...
36
00:01:52,712 --> 00:01:55,203
You're in high school now.
Don't take his...
37
00:01:55,315 --> 00:01:56,577
Go to sleep.
38
00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:00,848
How about some
chicks on the walls in here?
39
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,854
It's like a nerd paradise.
40
00:02:28,414 --> 00:02:31,042
Time to make the donuts.
41
00:02:34,787 --> 00:02:35,879
Hoo-rah!
42
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:40,052
Touchdown!
43
00:02:40,393 --> 00:02:43,021
We won! We won the game!
And Wade loses again!
44
00:02:43,129 --> 00:02:45,097
- Get out of my room!
- Dad said get up.
45
00:02:45,198 --> 00:02:46,665
He's not my dad. He's your dad.
46
00:02:46,766 --> 00:02:48,734
Fine, the guy who does your mom
says get up.
47
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,700
- Just leave!
- Loser!
48
00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:57,666
Morning, sunshine. First day of school.
49
00:02:58,211 --> 00:03:00,145
- Mom!
- Oh, my God!
50
00:03:00,246 --> 00:03:02,077
Since when did you start
sleeping naked?
51
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,912
I'm in high school now,
don't you remember?
52
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,885
I don't like elastic squeezing
on my ass when I sleep!
53
00:03:07,987 --> 00:03:09,011
Okay.
54
00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:13,119
Hey! What are you doing
in this shower?
55
00:03:13,226 --> 00:03:16,354
Dawn? Rachel, that's right.
Nice to see you.
56
00:03:17,263 --> 00:03:19,731
Put your hands up
Put your hands up
57
00:03:19,832 --> 00:03:22,528
I'm the best white rapper
you've ever seen
58
00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:26,364
A hair!
59
00:03:34,013 --> 00:03:35,571
- Oh, my God!
- Look at that.
60
00:03:35,682 --> 00:03:37,343
Thank you, ladies!
61
00:03:42,355 --> 00:03:44,482
What's up, winners? You stoked?
Pedal to the metal?
62
00:03:44,591 --> 00:03:45,580
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
63
00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:46,659
All right. Who's a winner?
64
00:03:46,759 --> 00:03:47,748
- I am!
- I am!
65
00:03:47,860 --> 00:03:48,849
Morning!
66
00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:52,762
- Look at you, with your magic stick.
- What do you think?
67
00:03:52,865 --> 00:03:54,423
Magic is stupid.
68
00:03:55,501 --> 00:03:56,763
No, no, honey.
69
00:03:56,869 --> 00:03:58,234
- Mom!
- What?
70
00:03:58,338 --> 00:04:00,067
You forgot the sausages!
71
00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:04,100
- I'll get the sausages.
- Come on. I'm hungry.
72
00:04:04,210 --> 00:04:05,871
All right, I'll get the sausages.
73
00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:08,811
Excuse me, listen,
I'm really sorry to bother you.
74
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:10,507
My family and I, we just ran out of gas
75
00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:12,949
and we're trying to get to the kids
to SeaWorld.
76
00:04:13,052 --> 00:04:15,680
And, I, like an idiot forgot my wallet.
If I can just...
77
00:04:15,788 --> 00:04:18,222
- Your legs work okay?
- Yeah, why?
78
00:04:18,324 --> 00:04:20,417
You should walk somewhere
and get a job.
79
00:04:20,526 --> 00:04:22,187
- Harold...
- I'll take care of it.
80
00:04:22,295 --> 00:04:23,887
That's what I have, a job.
81
00:04:24,030 --> 00:04:26,055
We'll get to SeaWorld
one way or the other.
82
00:04:26,165 --> 00:04:29,532
We're on our way to church.
Maybe that's where you ought to go.
83
00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:31,536
Thank you. Have a great day.
84
00:04:31,704 --> 00:04:33,831
- Can you help out a veteran?
- Not today.
85
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,908
- Get away from the car.
- Honey, roll up the window.
86
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:37,067
Get away!
87
00:04:37,176 --> 00:04:38,905
- What's your name?
- Drillbit.
88
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:40,877
Listen, Drillbit, I wasn't born yesterday.
89
00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:45,110
I don't want you using this on
any marijuana or rye whiskey, okay?
90
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:47,778
- You got my word on it.
- You know what?
91
00:04:49,355 --> 00:04:51,789
- I'm gonna write "not for pot" on there.
- You don't have to write.
92
00:04:51,891 --> 00:04:54,018
Yeah. "Not for pot."
93
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:57,028
You're gonna feel pretty silly if you try
to buy weed with that, won't you?
94
00:04:58,164 --> 00:04:59,859
Remember, put your best foot forward.
95
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,867
People decide what they think about you
in the first five seconds.
96
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:05,335
So, let me smell your breath.
97
00:05:05,438 --> 00:05:06,427
Minty.
98
00:05:06,539 --> 00:05:08,473
- You swipe on some deodorant?
- Yeah.
99
00:05:08,574 --> 00:05:13,204
- You dust the nuts?
- No, Jim. I did not dust my nuts.
100
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,008
I'll never get tired of that one, Dad.
101
00:05:15,114 --> 00:05:17,207
You know, you should hit the weights
with the boys and me.
102
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,410
- I'll pass.
- We'll get you in the gym.
103
00:05:19,519 --> 00:05:22,511
We'll beef you up. Look at these guys.
Show them. Give him a gun shot.
104
00:05:22,622 --> 00:05:24,180
Give him a crab.
105
00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:26,781
Worship the sun.
106
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:29,555
- Yeah, look at these guys.
- They're freaks.
107
00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:31,562
Not in my house!
108
00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:33,822
- Have a great day.
- Okay, I love you, Dad.
109
00:05:33,933 --> 00:05:37,027
I love you, too.
Have fun at school, Ryan. Bye.
110
00:05:41,207 --> 00:05:44,574
- So what'd your dad say?
- He told me to have fun.
111
00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:46,008
Wow, great parenting.
112
00:05:46,112 --> 00:05:48,512
I don't know how
we're surviving without him.
113
00:05:48,614 --> 00:05:50,775
- Sorry.
- It's okay.
114
00:05:51,317 --> 00:05:54,377
- He's a piece of shit, anyway.
- Thank you, honey.
115
00:05:57,657 --> 00:06:00,285
- Enchant�.
- Hello.
116
00:06:01,294 --> 00:06:03,956
You got room for two
in this little speedster?
117
00:06:04,063 --> 00:06:07,692
I am in a rush now. But I hostess up
at Moon Shadows on the one.
118
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:10,325
So if you get up there just, you know,
ask for me. I'm Jessica.
119
00:06:10,436 --> 00:06:12,370
- Thanks, Jessica.
- Yeah.
120
00:06:12,472 --> 00:06:14,372
'Cause our chef, Louis,
always makes too much chowder.
121
00:06:14,474 --> 00:06:17,500
So he'll set you up with
a nice plastic bowl of it out back.
122
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:23,349
- You're late today.
- Hey, get a job!
123
00:06:23,449 --> 00:06:26,816
- You get a job.
- I already got one, giving money to you.
124
00:06:26,919 --> 00:06:29,285
- How're you doing, Mrs. Lampanelli?
- All right.
125
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:33,052
- You look beautiful today.
- You're a liar. But it works for me.
126
00:06:33,159 --> 00:06:34,922
- Go on, get out of here, you nut!
- You earned it.
127
00:06:35,027 --> 00:06:37,621
And don't spend it on food. Porn only!
128
00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:45,093
First day of high school.
129
00:06:45,471 --> 00:06:48,838
- It's kind of scary.
- Yeah, it sucks taking the bus.
130
00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:53,311
Sure, last year we were the oldest
so we got to sit in the back of the bus,
131
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:57,349
but now we'll probably have to sit
in the front with the losers.
132
00:06:58,851 --> 00:07:00,443
We'll be all right.
133
00:07:00,553 --> 00:07:04,956
You have to have a proactive attitude
if you wanna be popular in high school.
134
00:07:05,057 --> 00:07:08,584
People decide what they think of you
in the first five seconds.
135
00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:15,194
I think you're a dork.
136
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:18,400
Oh, Wade.
137
00:07:18,504 --> 00:07:19,937
- Oh, no.
- This is uncool.
138
00:07:20,039 --> 00:07:21,870
We can't start high school like this.
139
00:07:21,974 --> 00:07:24,340
You got to be shitting me. Come on.
140
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,571
- Please, am I dreaming here?
- No.
141
00:07:26,679 --> 00:07:28,806
We're never allowed
to buy the same shirt again!
142
00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:30,439
Whoever sees it first gets to buy it.
143
00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:33,178
You guys should wear
red ribbons in your hair, too.
144
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:35,277
See? We both look like dorks.
Go change.
145
00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:37,754
No! I'm the one who was
planning on wearing this.
146
00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:41,452
Wade, I run the mile in 21 minutes!
147
00:07:41,894 --> 00:07:44,158
How fast do you think I can go?
148
00:07:45,765 --> 00:07:48,199
- Go! Hurry!
- I'm going!
149
00:07:50,102 --> 00:07:52,627
Wade, bus!
150
00:07:53,172 --> 00:07:54,764
- Perfect!
- Come on!
151
00:07:55,942 --> 00:07:58,172
What a way to start high school, huh?
152
00:08:02,114 --> 00:08:04,275
Let me guess.
Two-for-one sale at Hot Topic?
153
00:08:04,383 --> 00:08:06,851
- Losers!
- Dorks!
154
00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:08,318
We're dead.
155
00:08:15,928 --> 00:08:18,226
First day of our high school careers.
156
00:08:19,765 --> 00:08:23,565
All right, let's light this fuse
and see what happens.
157
00:08:23,936 --> 00:08:25,631
- Let's go, man.
- All right.
158
00:08:26,806 --> 00:08:29,172
Are you guys part of a bowling team?
159
00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:38,707
Last one.
160
00:08:38,818 --> 00:08:40,843
Hey, at least it'll be easy
to find each other.
161
00:08:40,953 --> 00:08:43,888
Yeah. I'll just look
for the kid with the same shirt.
162
00:08:49,395 --> 00:08:51,556
- Come on!
- No, you have to spin it a few times first
163
00:08:51,664 --> 00:08:52,961
to get it to work.
164
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:56,793
Thank you.
165
00:09:02,008 --> 00:09:03,600
No, wait! Wait!
166
00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:06,035
- What are you guys doing? Guys!
- Now, shut it. Move!
167
00:09:06,145 --> 00:09:07,510
- No, thanks.
- Guys!
168
00:09:07,613 --> 00:09:09,171
- Get out of the way!
- Man!
169
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:11,682
- Here we go.
- But that... That's not for me.
170
00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:13,274
- That's for my books!
- Okay, here we go.
171
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:14,353
- In there.
- I am not a book!
172
00:09:14,453 --> 00:09:16,182
- Get in there!
- This is bad.
173
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:18,917
- This isn't my locker! Please!
- No, this is good.
174
00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:21,152
At least we know we're not
the biggest dorks in school.
175
00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:22,784
- Please, please, please!
- Maybe we should say something.
176
00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:24,157
It's survival of the fittest.
177
00:09:24,263 --> 00:09:26,629
I've got to say something.
I got to. I have to.
178
00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:29,599
Say something? It's hilarious.
The kid fits in the locker. Come on.
179
00:09:29,702 --> 00:09:31,260
- That's not funny.
- Somebody, help!
180
00:09:31,370 --> 00:09:32,701
This is the dumbest thing
I've ever done.
181
00:09:32,805 --> 00:09:35,035
- Help! Please!
- Stop!
182
00:09:43,549 --> 00:09:47,713
- I mean, you don't have to, but...
- Harry Potter.
183
00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:50,619
You need to keep your big mouth shut.
184
00:09:50,723 --> 00:09:53,385
Yeah, that's what
I've been trying to tell him.
185
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:58,552
- Hey!
- Run! Everybody run! It's not safe here!
186
00:09:58,664 --> 00:10:01,599
Hey, check this out.
Matching shirt geeks.
187
00:10:01,701 --> 00:10:02,861
Oh, my God.
188
00:10:02,969 --> 00:10:04,960
Yo, Ron, these bitches
really wanna wear the same shirt.
189
00:10:05,071 --> 00:10:06,402
Let's make them
wear the same shirt, huh?
190
00:10:06,505 --> 00:10:08,268
Sounds good. Yeah.
191
00:10:09,241 --> 00:10:12,642
The fat one here, the skinny one there,
and just let go.
192
00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:16,103
There.
193
00:10:18,017 --> 00:10:19,507
You better keep that shit on,
194
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,746
'cause if I see you trying to take it off,
you're dead.
195
00:10:21,854 --> 00:10:24,118
And you know what happens
if one of you dies? Both of you dies.
196
00:10:24,223 --> 00:10:26,748
'Cause you're Siamese queers, bitches!
197
00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:34,925
That's very cute.
198
00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:38,003
You look like those Velcro monkeys
who hug each other.
199
00:10:40,439 --> 00:10:41,963
How was school, Wade?
200
00:10:42,074 --> 00:10:44,634
We made so many friends,
I can't even remember all their names.
201
00:10:44,744 --> 00:10:47,577
- Great! You got to be in it to win it.
- I am in it!
202
00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:48,669
Great.
203
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:50,638
Yeah!
204
00:10:52,685 --> 00:10:54,016
- Yeah.
- So school went well, huh?
205
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,748
Oh, it was great.
It couldn't have gone better.
206
00:10:56,856 --> 00:11:00,155
It was the shirt, right?
I'll have to get you more of those.
207
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:04,125
Hey! What are you doing?
That's my stuff!
208
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:05,288
This is city property.
209
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:07,263
Nobody's supposed to be
camping out here.
210
00:11:07,366 --> 00:11:08,958
Your stuff's in the dumpster
around the corner.
211
00:11:09,068 --> 00:11:13,061
That's where I eat! You don't put
a man's belongings where he eats!
212
00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:16,699
- My taxes pay for your salary.
- You don't pay taxes.
213
00:11:16,809 --> 00:11:19,437
- You don't even have a job.
- What else you wanna remind me of?
214
00:11:19,545 --> 00:11:23,276
That I don't have good health care?
That I don't belong to a good gym?
215
00:11:23,382 --> 00:11:27,182
Where's the compassion?
Protect and serve. That's what it says.
216
00:11:27,319 --> 00:11:29,116
- Compassion?
- Yeah, compassion.
217
00:11:29,221 --> 00:11:31,280
You wanna know
what I have compassion for?
218
00:11:31,390 --> 00:11:35,656
The homeless who are mentally ill,
the homeless who are drug-addicted.
219
00:11:35,761 --> 00:11:37,752
Buddy, you're just a jackass.
220
00:11:37,930 --> 00:11:40,694
Oh, guy hits a little bit of bump
in the road and he's a jackass?
221
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,564
Maybe I should go smoke some crack
and get your sympathy.
222
00:11:43,669 --> 00:11:46,103
- Go back to the Village People!
- Back up!
223
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:47,229
Damn!
224
00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:52,073
All right, today is the first day
of our high school careers.
225
00:11:52,611 --> 00:11:53,942
Yes, it is.
226
00:12:01,687 --> 00:12:03,018
There she is.
227
00:12:03,122 --> 00:12:05,784
That's the girl who came up to me
at my locker.
228
00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:11,289
- Well, make your move.
- What move? I don't have a move.
229
00:12:23,843 --> 00:12:25,606
All right, thanks for signing up.
230
00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:30,112
How're you doing?
231
00:12:30,216 --> 00:12:32,150
Is this your first time signing up
for the Heritage Club?
232
00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:35,311
- Yeah, it is. Okay, bye.
- Bye.
233
00:12:39,525 --> 00:12:41,390
What'd you sign up for?
234
00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:45,988
- Photography and Asian Heritage.
- Asian Heritage, huh?
235
00:12:46,098 --> 00:12:47,588
- I like your commitment.
- Yeah.
236
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:50,225
- I like it a lot.
- Hey, buddies! Remember me?
237
00:12:51,370 --> 00:12:53,895
- Hi.
- Oh, Jesus H.
238
00:12:54,373 --> 00:12:55,499
Oh, God.
239
00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:59,968
Guys, why aren't you wearing them?
240
00:13:00,079 --> 00:13:03,344
- Why are you talking to us?
- I just wanted to say thank you
241
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:05,041
for helping me out yesterday and all.
242
00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:07,676
You guys are definitely the type of
people I'm gonna want to hang out with.
243
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:10,017
- Yeah.
- Hi, I'm Emmit Oosterhaus, by the way.
244
00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:12,249
- Hi.
- Wade. That's T-Dog.
245
00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:15,384
T-Dog? Dude,
that's a really cool nickname.
246
00:13:15,494 --> 00:13:17,621
Hey, can you guys give me a nickname?
247
00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:19,755
We need to ditch this guy.
He's like a stray cat.
248
00:13:19,865 --> 00:13:21,628
Once you feed him,
he'll never go away, okay?
249
00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:23,429
Hey, no secrets, T-Dog.
250
00:13:23,569 --> 00:13:24,763
I'm off to U.S. History.
251
00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:26,030
- U.S. History.
- Hey, look!
252
00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:28,732
The Siamese queers had a baby.
253
00:13:28,841 --> 00:13:30,968
I guess that makes them triplets,
now doesn't it?
254
00:13:31,076 --> 00:13:33,909
Well, actually,
we still wouldn't be triplets, see.
255
00:13:34,246 --> 00:13:36,578
You see, they'd be my parents,
and I'd be the baby.
256
00:13:36,682 --> 00:13:37,808
Don't get smart with me.
257
00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:41,717
I said you're triplets and I think that
you guys need to get into his shirt
258
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,584
- and be triplets.
- We can do that.
259
00:13:43,689 --> 00:13:46,283
You know what? Emmit, shut up.
260
00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:49,361
Look, you really have to
do this crap, guys?
261
00:13:49,461 --> 00:13:52,328
Come on, give us a break.
It's the second day of school.
262
00:13:52,431 --> 00:13:54,763
Hey, I like this kid. Yeah.
263
00:13:55,434 --> 00:13:57,902
Double Stuf's got an attitude.
264
00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:04,140
Yeah. We have to do this shit
because it's hilarious.
265
00:14:04,643 --> 00:14:07,203
This school is boring.
266
00:14:07,746 --> 00:14:10,146
Watching you freak out amuses me.
267
00:14:11,050 --> 00:14:14,850
And, yeah, it's just the second day
of school. So guess what?
268
00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:20,290
It's gonna keep coming
and coming and coming!
269
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:26,122
Party time!
270
00:14:26,899 --> 00:14:29,265
- Stop peeing on me!
- Wait! Wait! No!
271
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:37,103
He pissed himself. What a loser.
272
00:14:47,586 --> 00:14:48,553
Help.
273
00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:51,514
Help me!
274
00:14:54,326 --> 00:14:57,625
- Is that Mario Lopez, dude?
- Whoever he is, he's cute!
275
00:15:01,166 --> 00:15:03,066
Take his pants off! Pants off!
276
00:15:20,786 --> 00:15:24,313
- Up, down, up...
- Write your name!
277
00:15:31,330 --> 00:15:33,958
No! Please, don't! No! Don't!
278
00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:41,662
Bernie?
279
00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:47,404
- Come on, give me one match, here.
- That's funny.
280
00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:48,878
- All I need is one.
- Yeah, I like it.
281
00:15:48,981 --> 00:15:51,472
- Will you just give up?
- Damn it! Look at that.
282
00:15:51,583 --> 00:15:55,212
God, I can't even get one card!
Not one thing!
283
00:15:55,321 --> 00:15:58,586
State of California just robbed me, Don.
You saw it.
284
00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:04,058
You'd think... Where's my quarter?
Did you see my...
285
00:16:04,163 --> 00:16:05,994
- You're always looking at me.
- Is the pill bottle... I forget,
286
00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:09,363
- is that the castle or is that a rook?
- Don, did you just take my quarter?
287
00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:11,868
No, I didn't take your quarter, Drillbit.
288
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,962
Not my fault you can't keep track
of your finances.
289
00:16:14,073 --> 00:16:16,405
I don't know why you're spending all
your money on this dumb stuff, anyway.
290
00:16:16,508 --> 00:16:19,136
You're unbelievable.
I got to get out of here.
291
00:16:19,244 --> 00:16:21,508
You know,
I can't take this anymore, man.
292
00:16:21,613 --> 00:16:24,309
Rich people don't like us,
293
00:16:24,416 --> 00:16:26,043
and the tourists are scared of us.
294
00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:28,642
- When they see Bernie, they're terrified.
- Terrified.
295
00:16:28,754 --> 00:16:31,450
They're not scared of me, I'm sexy.
296
00:16:31,557 --> 00:16:33,149
- Sanitizer?
- Yeah.
297
00:16:33,792 --> 00:16:35,191
Yeah. Thanks, man.
298
00:16:35,627 --> 00:16:39,529
I just get... I'm like a bird.
I just wanna fly north. I want to...
299
00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:42,534
I'd like to go to Canada.
300
00:16:42,801 --> 00:16:44,598
What was it last year? I think it was,
301
00:16:44,703 --> 00:16:46,500
- "I was gonna go to Iceland."
- Reykjav�k.
302
00:16:46,605 --> 00:16:47,594
- No, no.
- Where's that?
303
00:16:47,706 --> 00:16:50,641
Yeah, but the thing about Canada,
if you go high enough north...
304
00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:52,233
- That's right.
...the government pays you
305
00:16:52,344 --> 00:16:53,743
- to take the land.
- That's the truth.
306
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:56,508
Yeah. Lookit, man,
the beer's twice as strong.
307
00:16:56,615 --> 00:16:59,413
They don't lock the doors,
that should appeal to a man like you.
308
00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:01,713
And what about
a British Columbian girl?
309
00:17:01,820 --> 00:17:04,084
Does that sound like
a pretty potent mix?
310
00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:06,191
Yeah, that's not too bad.
I kind of like that.
311
00:17:06,392 --> 00:17:07,859
Okay, now, man, check this out.
312
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,861
One-way flight to Canada, $287.
313
00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:13,329
You got to throw in 50 bucks for bribing,
what're they called,
314
00:17:13,432 --> 00:17:15,263
- the Federales, the...
- Mounties.
315
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:16,959
Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Mounties.
316
00:17:17,069 --> 00:17:20,698
Another...
I want a good winter jacket, 80 bucks.
317
00:17:20,806 --> 00:17:25,573
So we're talking $387 and it's a new
life for your old hombre, Drillbit.
318
00:17:25,677 --> 00:17:28,441
I dig it, man. Follow the dream.
Chase that thing.
319
00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:30,310
How you gonna come up
with that kind of money, though?
320
00:17:30,416 --> 00:17:31,542
Get a job.
321
00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:34,118
I was an Army Ranger.
There are a lot of people dying for that.
322
00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:36,949
Watch this kid play Hendrix.
He really jams. Look at him.
323
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,523
Oh, yeah, there he goes.
324
00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:40,649
Yeah, I like how he looks
a little bit like Hendrix.
325
00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:45,058
Yeah! I'm gonna give him a buck.
326
00:17:45,164 --> 00:17:47,997
- I'll give him a couple bucks.
- A buck? Give him a compliment, man!
327
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:49,067
Give me a buck!
328
00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:07,851
Why is he in my house?
329
00:18:07,953 --> 00:18:11,013
Are we trying to attract
after-school bullies?
330
00:18:11,123 --> 00:18:13,455
I'm here because
Wade invited me to be here.
331
00:18:13,559 --> 00:18:15,652
Because I'm your friend now.
332
00:18:16,495 --> 00:18:19,828
This fantasy land you live in,
Emmit, are there rides?
333
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:22,526
Stop picking on him, all right?
This is our guy.
334
00:18:22,634 --> 00:18:24,124
I don't want him to be our guy.
335
00:18:24,236 --> 00:18:28,036
Well, the good news is, I think I found
a solution to our problems.
336
00:18:28,874 --> 00:18:30,865
- Kill Emmit?
- No, bear with me.
337
00:18:30,976 --> 00:18:33,706
This might sound stupid,
but I was on the Internet last night
338
00:18:33,812 --> 00:18:37,714
and there's a bunch of sites where
we can hire a professional bodyguard.
339
00:18:37,816 --> 00:18:41,274
- What do you mean by bodyguard?
- Like he beats up kids that bother us.
340
00:18:41,386 --> 00:18:45,322
A bodyguard? Wade,
that's the dumbest idea I've ever heard.
341
00:18:45,424 --> 00:18:47,654
We should just be men
and fight these kids!
342
00:18:47,759 --> 00:18:49,090
Are you serious?
343
00:18:50,496 --> 00:18:53,226
Of course not. I've never been in a fight.
344
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:56,867
Have you seen those
high school fights on YouTube?
345
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,527
Kids are brutal.
346
00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:03,808
He gave us an earthquake
when we were peeing in the urinal.
347
00:19:03,909 --> 00:19:04,898
He shoved me in a locker.
348
00:19:05,010 --> 00:19:08,741
And he put my head in his shirt
and called us Siamese queers.
349
00:19:12,584 --> 00:19:14,017
How's that funny?
350
00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:16,917
It's not funny. It's just, it's rare that,
351
00:19:17,022 --> 00:19:18,785
you know,
kids say things that surprise me.
352
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:21,792
Siamese queers.
I'd never heard that one.
353
00:19:24,563 --> 00:19:28,021
- What would you like me to do?
- We really just want it to stop.
354
00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:31,331
So are they pretty much free to say
whatever they want?
355
00:19:31,436 --> 00:19:33,734
Or am I allowed to defend myself?
356
00:19:34,973 --> 00:19:38,033
Oh, no. Principal Doppler,
I thought this was gonna be anonymous.
357
00:19:38,143 --> 00:19:42,341
In this country, we give the accused
the chance to face his accusers.
358
00:19:42,447 --> 00:19:43,937
Terry, come over here for a second,
will you?
359
00:19:44,049 --> 00:19:46,813
Now we've known each other for...
Yeah, have a seat.
360
00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:50,150
- What's your take on this?
- Hey, guys, hey. How's it going?
361
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:53,324
Be polite! There you go.
362
00:19:53,725 --> 00:19:54,851
- Wade.
- Hi.
363
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,087
Hey, T-Dog. Give me a pound.
364
00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:01,291
Yeah. Principal Doppler, sir,
I was really excited
365
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:04,392
about starting this new school year.
I'm not gonna lie.
366
00:20:04,803 --> 00:20:08,364
Who knows?
I, maybe, was hazing them a little bit,
367
00:20:09,408 --> 00:20:10,875
but I'm sorry.
368
00:20:11,977 --> 00:20:13,274
I really am.
369
00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:16,279
You know, I appreciate you taking
responsibility. It's refreshing.
370
00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:18,611
- He doesn't mean it!
- We need to call his parents in.
371
00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:20,981
- Now.
- He doesn't have any parents.
372
00:20:21,086 --> 00:20:24,055
Well, not in this country, anyway.
They live in Hong Kong.
373
00:20:24,156 --> 00:20:26,954
- He's an emancipated minor.
- What does that mean?
374
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,323
It means he's legally an adult.
375
00:20:29,828 --> 00:20:31,455
He answers to no one.
376
00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:34,259
He's above the law.
377
00:20:36,001 --> 00:20:37,901
- What a nightmare, huh?
- Yeah.
378
00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:40,727
Oh, crap.
379
00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:43,029
Oh, no.
380
00:20:44,509 --> 00:20:45,703
- Run.
- Go! Go!
381
00:20:47,813 --> 00:20:49,781
- Run! Go, go!
- Hurry.
382
00:20:49,881 --> 00:20:51,508
Wait for me!
383
00:21:09,534 --> 00:21:10,694
Go, go!
384
00:21:15,807 --> 00:21:17,502
- Do you think he sees us?
- No.
385
00:21:29,354 --> 00:21:31,322
Open the door! Open the door!
386
00:21:31,423 --> 00:21:32,549
What do they want?
387
00:21:32,658 --> 00:21:35,092
Just keep driving, Mom.
It's none of our business.
388
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,433
Let's go, let's go!
389
00:22:02,587 --> 00:22:05,556
Have you guys lost your mind?
Come on, let's go!
390
00:22:06,291 --> 00:22:07,622
Go, go, come on!
391
00:22:11,363 --> 00:22:12,990
- Come on.
- Oh, no!
392
00:22:13,465 --> 00:22:15,558
- Run! Run!
- Go!
393
00:22:16,702 --> 00:22:18,226
Get them, baby!
394
00:22:22,374 --> 00:22:23,807
There! The garage!
395
00:22:46,998 --> 00:22:48,522
You gonna rat on me, boys?
396
00:22:48,633 --> 00:22:51,431
Try to get my parents involved
in this situation?
397
00:22:52,137 --> 00:22:56,005
Now I have to make it my mission
to destroy you punks!
398
00:22:56,108 --> 00:22:59,509
Hey! You kids get the hell off
my property!
399
00:22:59,611 --> 00:23:02,774
I'm gonna give you three seconds,
then I'm getting my shotgun!
400
00:23:02,881 --> 00:23:05,008
- No!
- You better get out of here right now!
401
00:23:05,117 --> 00:23:07,381
- Please don't!
- No! Please!
402
00:23:08,286 --> 00:23:10,754
One! Two! Three!
403
00:23:15,026 --> 00:23:17,995
- Go! Go!
- And stay out, you gang bangers!
404
00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:31,266
Charles, chai latte up.
405
00:23:31,476 --> 00:23:34,877
- Hey! Get off my computer!
- Keep your shirt on.
406
00:23:34,980 --> 00:23:35,947
Come on.
407
00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:40,548
If this doesn't work,
I'm gonna kick your ass.
408
00:23:40,652 --> 00:23:43,212
When it works,
you're going to kiss my ass.
409
00:23:43,321 --> 00:23:46,381
How are we gonna know
which one's the bodyguard?
410
00:23:57,569 --> 00:23:59,764
Have you ever done
this kind of thing before?
411
00:23:59,871 --> 00:24:02,431
I worked for the hardest gangstas
in the world.
412
00:24:02,541 --> 00:24:04,600
Kee Lo-Lo, Chenobee.
413
00:24:05,377 --> 00:24:08,175
Hell, I still work for Tupac,
even though he dead.
414
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:12,572
I am Israeli Military Secret Service
Antiterrorist Squad.
415
00:24:13,318 --> 00:24:16,685
So when I kill this kid,
do you want me to do it quickly,
416
00:24:16,788 --> 00:24:19,279
- or do you want him to suffer?
- Suffer.
417
00:24:21,293 --> 00:24:23,454
If you hire Tiger's Protection Services,
418
00:24:23,562 --> 00:24:25,427
not only do you get the Tiger,
419
00:24:25,530 --> 00:24:28,556
but you get the protection
of his entire pride.
420
00:24:31,169 --> 00:24:32,136
Do you like hip-hop?
421
00:24:32,237 --> 00:24:33,864
What the hell you implying
I like hip-hop for?
422
00:24:33,972 --> 00:24:36,634
'Cause I'm dressed this way?
I like country. You like country?
423
00:24:36,741 --> 00:24:39,904
That's the kind of music I like. Alabama.
Gimme some of that.
424
00:24:40,011 --> 00:24:43,174
Some Brooks and Dunn.
The Dixie Chicks, bitch.
425
00:24:46,117 --> 00:24:48,415
Kids hiring a bodyguard
to take care of a bully?
426
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:50,044
Stupidest thing I ever heard.
427
00:24:50,155 --> 00:24:53,647
Back in my day, if a kid was getting
beat up, it was called childhood.
428
00:24:53,758 --> 00:24:56,852
Pick somebody, anybody.
I'll go beat their ass
429
00:24:56,962 --> 00:25:01,023
right here, right now, and then you can
ask them for a goddamned reference.
430
00:25:02,100 --> 00:25:03,362
How about you, lady?
431
00:25:03,468 --> 00:25:06,665
I'll kick your ass right now!
Close. Closed.
432
00:25:07,739 --> 00:25:09,969
- Yeah!
- This is very disturbing.
433
00:25:10,075 --> 00:25:12,236
You want an ass kicking?
434
00:25:19,184 --> 00:25:21,175
What do you do
when you're not body guarding?
435
00:25:21,286 --> 00:25:23,516
I work at Raging Waters.
436
00:25:23,622 --> 00:25:27,922
I sense great hesitation.
Wait one moment. Excuse me.
437
00:25:28,326 --> 00:25:30,157
I'm going to borrow this.
438
00:25:30,896 --> 00:25:33,490
- Please don't do that.
- Oh, God damn!
439
00:25:35,100 --> 00:25:36,201
- $2,100 a week.
- $10,000 a week.
440
00:25:36,201 --> 00:25:37,498
- $2,100 a week.
- $10,000 a week.
441
00:25:37,602 --> 00:25:40,662
We're hoping you'd say, like,
around $100.
442
00:25:42,407 --> 00:25:44,204
- Not interested.
- I hate kids like you.
443
00:25:44,309 --> 00:25:46,903
I can't help you. No one can help you!
444
00:25:54,052 --> 00:25:56,919
- Susan, your double espresso's up.
- I'm Susan.
445
00:26:11,803 --> 00:26:13,464
I'm Drillbit Taylor.
446
00:26:18,944 --> 00:26:23,347
U.S. Army Ranger, black ops operative,
decorated marksman,
447
00:26:23,448 --> 00:26:27,384
- improvised weapons expert.
- Are you still in the military?
448
00:26:27,752 --> 00:26:30,653
I was discharged.
Unauthorized heroism.
449
00:26:33,858 --> 00:26:37,817
Yeah. They call it an army of one
in the ads, but they don't mean it.
450
00:26:39,598 --> 00:26:43,056
Unless they mean the whole army
working together as one.
451
00:26:43,168 --> 00:26:45,534
But they certainly don't want one man
out there kicking ass
452
00:26:45,637 --> 00:26:48,765
like an army of one,
which is the way I took it.
453
00:26:49,774 --> 00:26:52,868
As a bodyguard
I protected three Vice Presidents,
454
00:26:53,745 --> 00:26:57,340
Bobby Brown, Sylvester Stallone...
Not as tough as he looks.
455
00:26:58,049 --> 00:27:00,677
So what's the story?
Who do you guys need protection from?
456
00:27:00,785 --> 00:27:04,084
It should be easy for you.
Just a high school bully.
457
00:27:04,189 --> 00:27:06,987
Yeah. Run into a few of those in my life.
458
00:27:08,627 --> 00:27:11,460
- What'd you do to provoke him?
- Well, he's fat, and he's a dork,
459
00:27:11,563 --> 00:27:13,929
- and I'm awesome.
- Shut up, Wade.
460
00:27:14,032 --> 00:27:17,160
By "awesome" do you mean
scared, skinny and Ionely?
461
00:27:18,837 --> 00:27:19,826
Yeah.
462
00:27:21,139 --> 00:27:22,106
Yeah.
463
00:27:22,874 --> 00:27:27,106
- So how do we know you're legit?
- Come here. Go on, come here.
464
00:27:27,212 --> 00:27:28,907
I'm not gonna bite.
465
00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:33,383
I want you to look at my eyes.
466
00:27:34,219 --> 00:27:35,811
Take a good look.
467
00:27:37,288 --> 00:27:41,190
Come here! What do you see?
You looking?
468
00:27:43,294 --> 00:27:46,229
- What the hell have you seen?
- You want some?
469
00:27:47,432 --> 00:27:51,459
These eyes have seen
unspeakable horror.
470
00:27:52,737 --> 00:27:54,068
That's my evidence.
471
00:27:54,172 --> 00:27:58,802
That's how you know if a guy's legit.
You need some evidence, too?
472
00:27:59,210 --> 00:28:01,178
I've seen things you wouldn't believe.
473
00:28:01,279 --> 00:28:04,840
I've watched C-beams glitter in the dark
near the Tannhauser Gate.
474
00:28:05,383 --> 00:28:07,317
Isn't that Blade Runner?
475
00:28:08,053 --> 00:28:10,647
Look closely 'cause it's all in there.
476
00:28:13,024 --> 00:28:13,991
Boo!
477
00:28:18,630 --> 00:28:20,689
So, how much do you charge?
478
00:28:21,132 --> 00:28:24,499
$387 a week.
479
00:28:25,637 --> 00:28:27,229
- One second.
- I say yes.
480
00:28:27,472 --> 00:28:29,269
I'm not even sure if I'm available.
481
00:28:29,374 --> 00:28:31,740
- He's good.
- No! No! He's weird.
482
00:28:31,843 --> 00:28:34,437
You know, we might be able
to work up to that.
483
00:28:34,779 --> 00:28:37,145
But right now, we've only got $83.
484
00:28:39,984 --> 00:28:43,750
Okay, well, give me that now
and we'll figure out the rest later.
485
00:28:46,524 --> 00:28:48,389
You know what this is?
486
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:50,759
It's a wing.
487
00:28:51,629 --> 00:28:55,895
And you're under it.
All three of you, right there.
488
00:28:56,501 --> 00:28:57,968
Okay, here's the mission plan.
489
00:28:58,069 --> 00:29:02,267
Using my expertise at stealthy
and covert ops, I'll infiltrate the school
490
00:29:02,373 --> 00:29:06,207
where I will watch over you
like the Lord almighty himself.
491
00:29:06,311 --> 00:29:07,938
Careful.
492
00:29:08,947 --> 00:29:11,211
Like the good Lord,
I'm gonna use some mysterious ways,
493
00:29:11,316 --> 00:29:13,784
so you're not always gonna see me,
but I'll be there.
494
00:29:13,885 --> 00:29:15,546
Especially when you don't see me.
495
00:29:15,653 --> 00:29:17,553
But first, I'm gonna need some supplies.
496
00:29:17,655 --> 00:29:19,316
- I want to go in and get...
- Like nunchucks?
497
00:29:19,424 --> 00:29:20,391
Maybe.
498
00:29:20,525 --> 00:29:23,358
But a lot of stuff, I'll just get from
just what's laying around the house.
499
00:29:23,461 --> 00:29:24,450
You'd be surprised.
500
00:29:24,596 --> 00:29:27,463
Anything can be turned into
a weapon of mayhem or destruction.
501
00:29:27,565 --> 00:29:29,863
- Even a puppy?
- Especially a puppy.
502
00:29:29,968 --> 00:29:34,302
Germans used them in World War I.
Da Hunden Stormen. Lightning Dog.
503
00:29:35,540 --> 00:29:38,771
They'd attach dynamite to them.
Rommel did it. Jerry bastard.
504
00:29:39,277 --> 00:29:42,110
- Now, listen. One thing that...
- This is my house.
505
00:29:42,413 --> 00:29:43,812
Wow.
506
00:29:43,915 --> 00:29:48,978
- We can go in. Nobody's home.
- Let's hit it. Deploy, soldiers.
507
00:29:49,087 --> 00:29:52,955
- Soldiers? Cool. You hear that, T-Dog?
- Beeline, front door! Single file!
508
00:29:53,057 --> 00:29:54,285
Officers first!
509
00:29:57,262 --> 00:30:00,254
You, get me a bowl of cereal.
Go on. Scram.
510
00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:12,474
- Okay, this I'm gonna need. Right here.
- What for?
511
00:30:12,577 --> 00:30:14,272
You take that,
my mom'll rip my head off!
512
00:30:14,379 --> 00:30:16,040
At ease, Casper!
513
00:30:16,247 --> 00:30:20,013
Okay. Observe its momentary
reflective blinding capabilities.
514
00:30:20,618 --> 00:30:23,610
Bang! You're defenseless.
515
00:30:23,721 --> 00:30:26,053
Silver alloy,
one of the strongest ever constructed.
516
00:30:26,157 --> 00:30:29,149
Probably stop an armor-piercing bullet
at point-blank range.
517
00:30:29,260 --> 00:30:31,694
You don't really think
it could come to that.
518
00:30:31,796 --> 00:30:32,922
You tell me.
519
00:30:33,364 --> 00:30:36,663
Filkins is a whack job.
He almost ran over us with his car!
520
00:30:36,768 --> 00:30:40,704
- He's a menace.
- Yeah, I was my dad's favorite, too.
521
00:30:40,805 --> 00:30:42,932
He once cut a kid's arm off
with a samurai sword.
522
00:30:43,041 --> 00:30:44,838
- Bladed weaponry?
- Yeah.
523
00:30:45,210 --> 00:30:48,737
Okay. I'm not gonna take any chances.
You're now on orange alert.
524
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:52,643
Okay, now this will be good
for video surveillance.
525
00:30:53,084 --> 00:30:54,449
This is good.
526
00:30:54,552 --> 00:30:56,952
You take the guts out of this
and use it for wiretapping.
527
00:30:57,055 --> 00:31:00,547
I think we can use this as a...
I don't know, as a timekeeping device.
528
00:31:00,658 --> 00:31:02,489
I think I'll wear it on my wrist, possibly.
529
00:31:02,594 --> 00:31:04,824
You think you might need this?
530
00:31:05,964 --> 00:31:08,694
This piece of crap's not worth anything.
531
00:31:09,300 --> 00:31:11,325
As a weapon. It's too obvious.
532
00:31:11,436 --> 00:31:13,666
Testing, one, two. Mister Taylor?
533
00:31:13,771 --> 00:31:16,365
- Testing, one, two.
- Can you come back now?
534
00:31:16,474 --> 00:31:18,806
Guys, you got to go far back!
I can hear you!
535
00:31:18,910 --> 00:31:21,606
Testing, testing, one, two.
Can you hear me now?
536
00:31:23,081 --> 00:31:25,049
- They work pretty good.
- These are great.
537
00:31:25,149 --> 00:31:26,138
- Yeah.
- These are invaluable.
538
00:31:26,251 --> 00:31:27,479
- They get a little staticky, though...
- Yeah.
539
00:31:27,585 --> 00:31:29,109
...I think, some places in the house.
540
00:31:29,220 --> 00:31:30,448
Why you need all this stuff for?
541
00:31:30,588 --> 00:31:32,283
I thought we were gonna give
Filkins a beat down.
542
00:31:32,390 --> 00:31:33,482
I am gonna beat him down,
543
00:31:33,591 --> 00:31:35,855
but sometimes
after that first beat down,
544
00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:37,860
then they get a little, you know...
They want a little payback.
545
00:31:37,962 --> 00:31:40,430
I'm home!
Who wants grilled-cheese sandwiches?
546
00:31:40,531 --> 00:31:41,896
- Go! Go! Mom! Mom!
- Okay.
547
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,059
- Exit! Exit!
- Go, out the back, out the back, go.
548
00:31:44,168 --> 00:31:45,692
Just 'cause you don't see me
doesn't mean I'm not there.
549
00:31:45,803 --> 00:31:49,466
- Shut the door.
- Act natural. Hey, Mom.
550
00:31:49,574 --> 00:31:51,041
- Hey, Barbara, how you doing?
- Hi, boys.
551
00:31:51,142 --> 00:31:52,734
- Who's your new little friend? Hi.
- Hi.
552
00:31:52,844 --> 00:31:54,471
- Hi. Emmit Oosterhaus.
- Hi, Emmit Oosterhaus.
553
00:31:54,579 --> 00:31:56,342
- He's not our friend.
- Yeah, he is.
554
00:31:56,447 --> 00:31:57,505
He's like our hamster.
555
00:31:57,615 --> 00:31:59,276
Smell like something?
556
00:32:01,019 --> 00:32:03,817
- Ryan? You washing?
- Yeah. You?
557
00:32:05,223 --> 00:32:07,088
It's a funny smell. It's all right.
Grilled-cheese sandwiches.
558
00:32:07,725 --> 00:32:10,523
Hey, come on! Buzz us in!
559
00:32:11,562 --> 00:32:12,722
You're gonna wanna see this!
560
00:32:12,830 --> 00:32:13,990
Big money coming in!
561
00:32:14,098 --> 00:32:16,532
This ain't a bunch of
aluminum cans here.
562
00:32:16,634 --> 00:32:17,794
Where do you want it?
Priceless treasures.
563
00:32:17,902 --> 00:32:19,233
Go set them down there.
564
00:32:19,804 --> 00:32:21,897
So you don't think those kids
are gonna miss this stuff?
565
00:32:22,006 --> 00:32:23,906
No. They got two of everything.
566
00:32:24,008 --> 00:32:27,910
They got the iPod, the iPod Nano.
And I don't care if they do,
567
00:32:28,012 --> 00:32:31,311
'cause after this little transaction,
568
00:32:31,416 --> 00:32:34,817
well, the old Drillbit's taking his act
to the Great White North.
569
00:32:34,919 --> 00:32:37,080
- What?
- Yeah, I'm going to Canada.
570
00:32:37,188 --> 00:32:39,679
Well, that's stupid.
You're gonna cut out now?
571
00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:42,988
- I'm going...
- These kids are a cash cow, Drillbit.
572
00:32:43,094 --> 00:32:45,289
You need to hang in there.
You don't cut and run.
573
00:32:45,396 --> 00:32:47,660
You got to get in there and milk this.
574
00:32:47,765 --> 00:32:49,198
Okay, come on back.
575
00:32:49,500 --> 00:32:53,994
All right, I'll tell you what.
I give you $125 for the whole lot.
576
00:32:54,105 --> 00:32:55,094
What?
577
00:32:55,206 --> 00:32:57,970
I just heard you say
you took it from some kids.
578
00:32:58,076 --> 00:33:00,374
So? Don't get all righteous on me.
579
00:33:00,478 --> 00:33:03,174
Half this store you guys got
from crackheads and thieves.
580
00:33:03,281 --> 00:33:05,442
Hey. Who the hell
do you think you are, man?
581
00:33:05,550 --> 00:33:07,177
Let me tell you something.
Those people are our customers!
582
00:33:07,285 --> 00:33:09,480
We're not that harsh on them,
so you shouldn't be!
583
00:33:09,587 --> 00:33:11,555
How would you like it
if we called you a crackhead?
584
00:33:11,656 --> 00:33:12,987
You have called me one.
585
00:33:13,091 --> 00:33:15,491
- Have we? Have we?
- I think I might have.
586
00:33:15,994 --> 00:33:17,985
- Drillbit? Drillbit? Come in.
- What is that?
587
00:33:18,096 --> 00:33:21,657
I'm sorry, hold it just a second.
D.B. one-four-niner-eight, come in.
588
00:33:21,766 --> 00:33:23,358
- Just take this.
- We just wanted you to know
589
00:33:23,468 --> 00:33:25,402
that Emmit was holding out
on some bar mitzvah money.
590
00:33:25,503 --> 00:33:29,064
Emmit, I don't care how many times you
get bar mitzvahed, you're not a man.
591
00:33:29,173 --> 00:33:30,231
- I am a man.
- No, you're not.
592
00:33:30,341 --> 00:33:32,639
- Drillbit! Milk it, milk it.
- So we'll have another 50 bucks for you
593
00:33:32,744 --> 00:33:34,871
- on Monday.
- Grab the udder and milk it.
594
00:33:34,979 --> 00:33:37,345
Ten-four, good buddy.
I will see you tomorrow.
595
00:33:37,448 --> 00:33:41,179
Commence radio silence in three, two.
596
00:33:43,287 --> 00:33:45,915
Today's the official start
of our high school careers.
597
00:33:46,024 --> 00:33:49,391
Last week's history.
Nothing good came out of last week.
598
00:33:49,494 --> 00:33:52,827
- We became best friends.
- Nothing good came out of last week.
599
00:33:52,930 --> 00:33:55,330
There's the sword. Man, we're so dead.
600
00:33:55,433 --> 00:33:58,732
- Where's Drillbit, Wade?
- Hey. Calvary's here.
601
00:33:58,836 --> 00:34:00,895
- Please, where have you been?
- Yes. What's up, man?
602
00:34:01,005 --> 00:34:03,473
Where's my money?
Where's my money?
603
00:34:04,609 --> 00:34:07,806
We got 40 bucks we promised,
plus we got an extra 17.
604
00:34:07,912 --> 00:34:08,901
I sold my Yu-Gi-Oh cards.
605
00:34:09,013 --> 00:34:10,207
Okay, this is gonna be sweet.
606
00:34:10,314 --> 00:34:11,916
I can't wait to watch
you kick Filkins' ass.
607
00:34:11,916 --> 00:34:12,177
I can't wait to watch
you kick Filkins' ass.
608
00:34:12,283 --> 00:34:15,377
- Yeah. What, is he here?
- Yeah, over there on his car.
609
00:34:15,486 --> 00:34:16,919
I want you to be
the last face he ever sees.
610
00:34:17,021 --> 00:34:18,079
What are you gonna do?
611
00:34:18,189 --> 00:34:19,713
- What am I gonna do?
- Come on.
612
00:34:19,824 --> 00:34:20,813
I want you to gnaw on his skull.
613
00:34:20,925 --> 00:34:22,392
- What's the plan?
- Shut up.
614
00:34:23,528 --> 00:34:27,157
Guys, I'm gonna check this dude out.
615
00:34:28,433 --> 00:34:29,400
Yes.
616
00:34:31,702 --> 00:34:32,999
Excuse me.
617
00:34:36,374 --> 00:34:37,432
Yeah.
618
00:34:43,514 --> 00:34:46,381
Just got to kind of stand here
for a second.
619
00:34:50,254 --> 00:34:52,347
All right. Hey, take it easy, man.
620
00:34:57,328 --> 00:34:59,353
He's thin, but sinewy and muscular.
621
00:34:59,464 --> 00:35:02,627
He's got a low center of gravity which
means he's fast like a jack rabbit.
622
00:35:02,733 --> 00:35:05,759
He didn't take a shower today
or yesterday. He's got bad breath.
623
00:35:05,870 --> 00:35:07,997
He's got a couple of cavities
which is not improving...
624
00:35:08,106 --> 00:35:10,131
This is serious. I thought
you were gonna go kick his ass.
625
00:35:10,241 --> 00:35:11,265
Yeah.
626
00:35:11,375 --> 00:35:13,639
Look at Tommy Trigger Finger.
You want the blood and the guts.
627
00:35:13,744 --> 00:35:15,177
Well, it doesn't work that way.
628
00:35:15,279 --> 00:35:16,871
I can't just kick his ass.
629
00:35:16,981 --> 00:35:20,917
Physically, I can,
but if you kick a bully's ass,
630
00:35:21,018 --> 00:35:23,248
then maybe you guys live till lunchtime.
631
00:35:23,354 --> 00:35:24,821
And then what?
632
00:35:24,922 --> 00:35:28,722
"Teach those victims how to kick
the bully's ass and they live forever."
633
00:35:28,826 --> 00:35:30,259
Steven Seagal.
634
00:35:30,361 --> 00:35:32,261
So you're gonna teach us
how to beat him up?
635
00:35:32,363 --> 00:35:35,764
- Like train us?
- So we're gonna beat up Filkins?
636
00:35:36,934 --> 00:35:40,768
What I'm about to show you are
top-secret black ops fighting moves.
637
00:35:40,872 --> 00:35:42,772
And it's all about technique.
638
00:35:42,874 --> 00:35:44,273
I don't care if you're talking about
639
00:35:44,375 --> 00:35:49,438
karate, tai chi, kung fu, praying mantis,
640
00:35:49,580 --> 00:35:52,481
kung pao, Panda Express.
641
00:35:52,583 --> 00:35:55,814
It's all about technique.
I want you to watch my technique.
642
00:35:56,187 --> 00:35:58,815
It's pretty flawless.
Come on, Ryan, charge me.
643
00:35:58,923 --> 00:36:00,720
I'm serious. Try to kill me.
644
00:36:00,825 --> 00:36:03,589
Come on. You ready?
Go! Yeah. Come on.
645
00:36:03,694 --> 00:36:05,389
I got you!
646
00:36:06,297 --> 00:36:08,424
I got you! I got you!
647
00:36:12,036 --> 00:36:13,333
Damn it!
648
00:36:13,437 --> 00:36:18,033
Okay. Tripped right there.
That was the bear hug.
649
00:36:18,476 --> 00:36:21,240
Okay. Wade. Come on!
650
00:36:22,180 --> 00:36:23,579
Here you go! Watch the elbows!
651
00:36:23,681 --> 00:36:25,171
Don't! Stop!
652
00:36:25,283 --> 00:36:28,844
Okay. Last but not least. Charge me.
653
00:36:33,024 --> 00:36:34,651
Everyone, up! Circle me!
654
00:36:34,759 --> 00:36:37,091
Come on.
Let me see some fight from you.
655
00:36:37,495 --> 00:36:38,928
Okay, you guys ready for the blizzard?
656
00:36:39,030 --> 00:36:41,999
- Go get him, boys!
- Yeah. Go, get it, all three of you!
657
00:36:42,533 --> 00:36:46,993
I call truce! Truce! Back up! Three's
too many. Three's too many. Stop.
658
00:36:48,506 --> 00:36:50,974
Wow, one of you
really charley-horsed me.
659
00:36:51,075 --> 00:36:54,602
Okay.
Now it isn't all oriental martial arts.
660
00:36:54,712 --> 00:36:57,374
Sometimes you give
a little Mexican judo as in
661
00:36:57,481 --> 00:36:59,073
"Ju don't know who
you're messing with, homes."
662
00:36:59,183 --> 00:37:03,085
Come on, Ryan, one more. Last one!
Show me your mettle. Come on! Ol�!
663
00:37:04,055 --> 00:37:05,022
Wow!
664
00:37:06,157 --> 00:37:07,181
Ryan!
665
00:37:07,525 --> 00:37:09,186
Man down!
666
00:37:11,062 --> 00:37:12,029
Ryan!
667
00:37:13,965 --> 00:37:15,398
Was that my fault?
668
00:37:16,801 --> 00:37:19,599
Hey! Check this out.
669
00:37:19,704 --> 00:37:22,104
Dude! You fell like 60 feet.
670
00:37:22,807 --> 00:37:24,502
Jeez, that was crazy.
671
00:37:25,743 --> 00:37:26,801
What is this?
672
00:37:26,911 --> 00:37:28,310
This is a strategic outpost.
673
00:37:28,412 --> 00:37:30,380
I got these posted all over the city.
674
00:37:30,481 --> 00:37:31,812
Don't even look at it, okay?
675
00:37:31,916 --> 00:37:33,850
Now let's get back up there
and get to work.
676
00:37:33,951 --> 00:37:36,784
What's this for?
To wash your balls in the morning?
677
00:37:38,656 --> 00:37:40,817
No. Look like a squeegee to you?
678
00:37:40,925 --> 00:37:43,018
Or does it look like a weapon
with a straight edge
679
00:37:43,127 --> 00:37:45,459
and a little mop to clean up the blood?
680
00:37:46,964 --> 00:37:48,829
T-Dog, Emmit, this way.
681
00:37:48,933 --> 00:37:50,628
- Where's Drillbit?
- I don't know.
682
00:37:50,735 --> 00:37:52,794
- Wait up.
- Should be right up here.
683
00:37:59,810 --> 00:38:01,072
Man down!
684
00:38:02,313 --> 00:38:03,905
Take this.
685
00:38:04,015 --> 00:38:05,380
- Take a swing at my head.
- Oh, no.
686
00:38:05,483 --> 00:38:07,280
Wade, come on. Just hit me.
687
00:38:07,385 --> 00:38:09,148
- But it'll hurt.
- Wade hit me.
688
00:38:09,253 --> 00:38:11,016
- I'll do it.
- Shut up.
689
00:38:15,226 --> 00:38:19,356
I feel no pain,
'cause I have a trained mind.
690
00:38:19,463 --> 00:38:20,430
- Go!
- Come on.
691
00:38:20,531 --> 00:38:22,931
- Let's beat it.
- Come on, come on, come on, let's go.
692
00:38:24,969 --> 00:38:28,200
- Hey, Drillbit. We could make s'mores!
- No.
693
00:38:28,306 --> 00:38:31,139
- How much does a Hug Me Bear cost?
- No.
694
00:38:31,742 --> 00:38:35,234
- Where'd you get the kids, Drillbit?
- I won them in a poker game.
695
00:38:35,980 --> 00:38:36,947
Order up!
696
00:38:37,048 --> 00:38:39,573
- How's this part of the training?
- It's called bulking up.
697
00:38:39,684 --> 00:38:42,278
- I'm already fat.
- Hey. You're not fat.
698
00:38:42,787 --> 00:38:44,015
I don't want to hear you say you're fat.
699
00:38:44,121 --> 00:38:49,616
Words like lard ass, fat pig, butterball,
landslide, mudslide.
700
00:38:49,727 --> 00:38:52,491
I don't want to hear that.
What are you tipping the scales at?
701
00:38:52,596 --> 00:38:54,063
180.
702
00:38:54,165 --> 00:38:55,291
What?
703
00:38:57,201 --> 00:38:58,293
Whenever you're ready, boys.
704
00:38:58,402 --> 00:38:59,562
Okay, one of you guys
got to pick this up,
705
00:38:59,670 --> 00:39:00,659
'cause I'm still on the clock.
706
00:39:03,541 --> 00:39:04,974
Filkins. Filkins.
707
00:39:05,076 --> 00:39:07,442
Avoidance technique!
Avoidance technique!
708
00:39:11,048 --> 00:39:12,515
Come out here, Capone!
You want to fight?
709
00:39:12,616 --> 00:39:14,243
You want to fight,
you and me, right here?
710
00:39:14,352 --> 00:39:16,149
This is very important. See that?
711
00:39:16,253 --> 00:39:17,948
What's the matter? Afraid to
come out from behind your men?
712
00:39:18,055 --> 00:39:19,545
- He has a holdback guy.
- Afraid to stand up for yourself?
713
00:39:19,657 --> 00:39:21,784
Now that allows people to think
that you want to fight
714
00:39:21,892 --> 00:39:23,257
when really he doesn't want to fight.
715
00:39:23,361 --> 00:39:25,192
You got nothing in court.
You don't got the bookkeeper.
716
00:39:25,296 --> 00:39:26,763
When I'm here I'm your holdback guy.
717
00:39:26,864 --> 00:39:28,798
So now you can act crazy.
718
00:39:28,966 --> 00:39:30,661
No, hey, hey, calm down.
719
00:39:34,572 --> 00:39:35,766
I'm gonna kill you!
720
00:39:35,873 --> 00:39:38,398
Hey, stop! Stop!
721
00:39:38,509 --> 00:39:39,874
Calm down.
722
00:39:39,977 --> 00:39:41,103
- Hoo-rah.
- Hoo-rah.
723
00:39:42,213 --> 00:39:44,078
Get under the wing.
724
00:39:47,051 --> 00:39:48,643
Put all the bills facing
the same direction.
725
00:39:48,753 --> 00:39:51,085
Yeah, don't worry about it, Don.
726
00:39:51,188 --> 00:39:53,315
I thought these kids were loaded.
727
00:39:53,591 --> 00:39:56,583
It's like all you read about are how
14-year-olds rule the marketplace,
728
00:39:56,694 --> 00:39:58,025
and look at this.
729
00:39:58,129 --> 00:40:01,530
Hardly got anything. You think this is
gonna get me to the Great White North?
730
00:40:01,632 --> 00:40:03,793
Allow me to make a point real quick.
731
00:40:04,034 --> 00:40:05,160
Hello, delicious.
732
00:40:05,269 --> 00:40:08,636
Drillbit? Do you know
why we come here every day?
733
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:12,934
It's because these businessmen
can't eat all their food.
734
00:40:13,144 --> 00:40:15,203
They have more than they need.
735
00:40:15,312 --> 00:40:17,974
These kids are a lot like
these businessmen, okay?
736
00:40:18,082 --> 00:40:20,209
They have way more than they need.
737
00:40:20,317 --> 00:40:23,718
It's our job to go into their houses
and take all their excess.
738
00:40:23,821 --> 00:40:25,948
I get a kick out of these kids.
739
00:40:26,690 --> 00:40:29,420
I told you that little fat one
says some funny shit.
740
00:40:29,527 --> 00:40:31,051
I like these kids, too, man.
741
00:40:31,162 --> 00:40:34,222
I mean, from what I gather,
they're some pretty cool dudes.
742
00:40:34,331 --> 00:40:36,925
But if you like them,
you should think about helping them.
743
00:40:37,034 --> 00:40:39,093
- lf you care about them.
- What do you mean?
744
00:40:39,203 --> 00:40:40,534
Steal their TV.
745
00:40:41,205 --> 00:40:42,934
Maybe they'll read a book.
746
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:47,602
Steal their iPod. Heck, I don't know.
Maybe they'll learn to play the piano.
747
00:40:48,145 --> 00:40:49,669
They don't need all this crap.
748
00:40:49,780 --> 00:40:51,407
You think Mozart had a Game Boy?
749
00:40:51,515 --> 00:40:55,349
I didn't have it. Didn't hurt me.
I was outside playing, climbing trees.
750
00:40:55,453 --> 00:40:59,253
Yeah, man, me, too.
I'm still outside hanging around in trees.
751
00:41:00,191 --> 00:41:03,456
And the parents are never around.
There's no one there in the daytime.
752
00:41:03,561 --> 00:41:05,825
One big hit. It's all we need.
753
00:41:20,544 --> 00:41:21,738
Boobies.
754
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:31,246
Penis!
755
00:41:34,592 --> 00:41:39,757
All right. Open your eyes, let your body
drift back into consciousness.
756
00:41:41,098 --> 00:41:46,968
Namaste. Thank you for your practice.
That concludes the meditation time.
757
00:41:47,371 --> 00:41:49,532
- Okay. How do you feel?
- I feel good.
758
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:52,302
- Doing all right?
- Yeah. I think my biceps are coming in.
759
00:41:52,409 --> 00:41:53,637
Guns are coming in.
760
00:41:53,744 --> 00:41:56,008
Now, listen.
We're about 10% done with the training.
761
00:41:56,113 --> 00:41:57,102
- Next...
- 10%?
762
00:41:57,214 --> 00:42:00,081
Are you high?
We can't sit in the woods anymore.
763
00:42:00,184 --> 00:42:03,051
- We got to go back to school.
- Yeah, and I can't forge any more notes.
764
00:42:03,153 --> 00:42:05,451
How many diseases can a kid have?
765
00:42:12,062 --> 00:42:14,360
You guys think you're ready?
766
00:42:15,900 --> 00:42:18,391
You know,
I am really scared to go back.
767
00:42:18,502 --> 00:42:21,471
Look. If you're not ready to fight,
there is another alternative.
768
00:42:21,572 --> 00:42:22,630
But I got to be honest with you,
769
00:42:22,740 --> 00:42:26,073
only the strongest of warriors
can pull this one off.
770
00:42:27,478 --> 00:42:32,082
It's so difficult that most men
tremble at its mere thought.
771
00:42:32,716 --> 00:42:34,047
What is it?
772
00:42:34,184 --> 00:42:36,118
What the hell is it?
773
00:42:39,189 --> 00:42:40,417
Love him.
774
00:42:40,758 --> 00:42:42,749
- What?
- Love him.
775
00:42:42,860 --> 00:42:45,090
You know, I don't know
what's going through your head, Drillbit,
776
00:42:45,195 --> 00:42:47,254
but I'm not gonna bang him.
777
00:42:47,598 --> 00:42:49,259
When I'm talking about love,
I mean compassion.
778
00:42:49,366 --> 00:42:52,494
- I'm not going to...
- Shut up. And understanding.
779
00:42:53,771 --> 00:42:55,136
Find your commonality.
780
00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:58,402
Let him know you're more alike
than different.
781
00:42:59,276 --> 00:43:01,335
Maybe that'll put out his fuse.
782
00:43:03,213 --> 00:43:04,441
And remember, guys,
783
00:43:04,548 --> 00:43:07,415
just because you don't see me
doesn't mean I'm not there.
784
00:43:07,518 --> 00:43:11,579
I'll be there like a silent,
deadly poltergeist.
785
00:43:11,689 --> 00:43:12,656
- Thanks.
- Okay.
786
00:43:12,756 --> 00:43:13,950
All right, see you later, Drillbit.
787
00:43:14,058 --> 00:43:15,719
Remember, you're under my wing.
788
00:43:19,830 --> 00:43:20,990
Oh, no.
789
00:43:21,098 --> 00:43:23,396
There he is. Should we hide?
790
00:43:23,500 --> 00:43:26,333
No. We've been running
and hiding all week.
791
00:43:26,437 --> 00:43:29,531
This is what Drillbit's been
talking about, finding commonalities.
792
00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:33,508
He's rapping. You love to rap!
You can do this!
793
00:43:33,777 --> 00:43:34,766
No, I can't.
794
00:43:34,878 --> 00:43:36,903
Yes, you can. It's just like in 8 Mile.
He'll respect you.
795
00:43:37,014 --> 00:43:38,743
No, man, I'm afraid of him. I can't!
796
00:43:38,849 --> 00:43:41,317
- You're crazy! Don't do it.
- You can do it, Ryan.
797
00:43:41,418 --> 00:43:43,113
- I believe in you.
- Don't.
798
00:43:43,954 --> 00:43:47,355
All right. I can do it. I can do it.
799
00:43:48,626 --> 00:43:51,254
- Whassup, whassup?
- Whassup?
800
00:43:53,597 --> 00:43:56,259
I wanna rap with you.
Hey, flip the script, Ronnie.
801
00:43:56,367 --> 00:43:57,595
Hit that beat.
802
00:43:57,868 --> 00:44:00,268
- Yo, this cool, Fil?
- Sure, whatever.
803
00:44:02,139 --> 00:44:03,970
Yo, call me whatever you want
804
00:44:04,074 --> 00:44:06,599
but you know I gets busy I'm so badass
805
00:44:06,744 --> 00:44:09,304
I'm the king of Vice City
Like the Buddha, I'm Zen
806
00:44:09,413 --> 00:44:11,643
Like Beckham, I bend, I tell suckers
807
00:44:11,749 --> 00:44:13,740
"Say hello to my little friend"
808
00:44:14,685 --> 00:44:15,947
Snap! This guy!
809
00:44:17,955 --> 00:44:21,686
Hey, meatball, where's your spaghetti?
Your rapping's like a nightmare
810
00:44:21,792 --> 00:44:23,384
But I don't see Freddy
You best
811
00:44:23,494 --> 00:44:26,224
not even try to spit rhymes, dude
'Cause when you spit
812
00:44:26,330 --> 00:44:28,821
all I ever see is chewed-up food
813
00:44:29,333 --> 00:44:30,925
Yeah, that's how we roll!
That's how we do!
814
00:44:31,035 --> 00:44:32,024
Hold on!
815
00:44:32,136 --> 00:44:33,433
I know you didn't just go there
816
00:44:33,537 --> 00:44:36,563
I got more skills than you
in my one and only nut hair
817
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:38,171
Nice, man, nice.
818
00:44:38,776 --> 00:44:41,438
So you better step off
before you insult me and mine
819
00:44:41,545 --> 00:44:44,207
'Cause if you decide to step on, see
I'm like a land mine
820
00:44:44,314 --> 00:44:45,611
Boom!
821
00:44:48,185 --> 00:44:50,881
Oh, my God, look
it's a punkass rapping
822
00:44:51,055 --> 00:44:53,489
He say one more word
I'm gonna have to bitch-slap him
823
00:44:53,590 --> 00:44:56,252
So surprised you're moving
ass is so damn fat
824
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:59,625
You're lucky I don't hit you
with my Wiffle, Wiffle Ball bat
825
00:45:00,164 --> 00:45:03,224
Can't hurt my head with a bat
I'm the Incredible Hulk
826
00:45:03,333 --> 00:45:06,734
I'm like Costco
I'm serving ass kickings in bulk
827
00:45:06,837 --> 00:45:09,499
You don't like my words
Mister King of the School?
828
00:45:09,606 --> 00:45:12,769
Well, guess what?
You can suck on my family's jewels
829
00:45:12,910 --> 00:45:14,241
Bitch!
830
00:45:23,020 --> 00:45:25,079
That was awesome.
831
00:45:25,189 --> 00:45:26,486
What have I just done?
832
00:45:26,590 --> 00:45:28,148
Hey, that was amazing. I mean,
833
00:45:28,258 --> 00:45:29,748
telling him to suck on
your two family jewels
834
00:45:29,860 --> 00:45:31,555
was in questionable taste, but still...
835
00:45:31,662 --> 00:45:33,960
I know, I got caught up
in the moment, okay?
836
00:45:34,064 --> 00:45:36,157
Keep walking.
I don't want to get shot like Tupac.
837
00:45:36,266 --> 00:45:39,201
You know, most of those people
were cheering for you.
838
00:45:39,303 --> 00:45:42,329
Really? That could be good.
Maybe Drillbit was right.
839
00:45:46,443 --> 00:45:48,104
Think you're so funny?
840
00:45:48,212 --> 00:45:51,238
Good. 'Cause you're not gonna laugh
when you're dead.
841
00:45:51,348 --> 00:45:54,579
You're gonna get it now,
worse than ever.
842
00:45:54,818 --> 00:45:55,910
All of you.
843
00:45:56,720 --> 00:45:59,245
Ryan, holdback technique.
844
00:45:59,857 --> 00:46:01,984
You don't like the fact that
he's better than you, Filkins!
845
00:46:02,092 --> 00:46:04,583
You better back the hell off before I...
846
00:46:08,465 --> 00:46:13,596
- Thanks for holding him for me.
- Holy crap, you guys are retarded!
847
00:46:17,274 --> 00:46:19,208
How did he do so much damage
with one punch?
848
00:46:19,309 --> 00:46:21,539
It's like his fist is the size
of your whole face.
849
00:46:21,645 --> 00:46:23,476
I guess it's true.
850
00:46:23,580 --> 00:46:24,808
Rap really does promote violence.
851
00:46:24,915 --> 00:46:27,383
Yeah, but the question is, where was
Drillbit when we needed him?
852
00:46:27,484 --> 00:46:29,076
Maybe he got called to the black ops.
853
00:46:29,186 --> 00:46:30,949
Wade, come on.
You really believe that garbage?
854
00:46:31,054 --> 00:46:33,113
There's my little soldiers.
855
00:46:34,725 --> 00:46:36,659
There are my pooper troopers.
856
00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:40,696
Hey, sorry I missed that walkie-talkie
call. I had something come...
857
00:46:42,399 --> 00:46:45,562
- What the hell happened to you?
- Filkins punched me.
858
00:46:46,436 --> 00:46:48,666
- Filkins did that to you?
- Yeah.
859
00:46:48,772 --> 00:46:49,932
Where were you?
860
00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:52,235
- With one punch?
- Where were you?
861
00:46:53,143 --> 00:46:56,340
- Oh, crap. I'm sorry.
- Stop.
862
00:46:56,480 --> 00:46:58,675
- No, just let me get the blood off.
- No. Stop.
863
00:46:58,782 --> 00:47:00,909
Man. Here, sit down for a second.
864
00:47:01,018 --> 00:47:03,748
- Crap. It looks painful.
- Yeah, it is.
865
00:47:04,221 --> 00:47:05,916
- Here, let me put a little pressure on it.
- No.
866
00:47:06,023 --> 00:47:07,615
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
867
00:47:07,724 --> 00:47:09,419
Ryan had a rap off with Filkins.
868
00:47:09,526 --> 00:47:12,256
- You had a rap off?
- You said to find common ground.
869
00:47:12,362 --> 00:47:15,525
He said he was like Costco,
serving up ass kickings in bulk.
870
00:47:15,632 --> 00:47:17,725
That's what you said?
That's not common ground.
871
00:47:17,835 --> 00:47:19,564
Even though it's funny.
872
00:47:19,670 --> 00:47:21,865
That's not exactly what I meant
when I said common ground.
873
00:47:21,972 --> 00:47:24,770
Why didn't you get punched?
Why'd he slug you?
874
00:47:24,875 --> 00:47:26,866
'Cause of your brilliant
holdback technique.
875
00:47:26,977 --> 00:47:29,741
The holdback technique?
You really tried that?
876
00:47:29,847 --> 00:47:33,442
Yeah. Bottom line is
your advice backfired.
877
00:47:33,550 --> 00:47:35,142
Now we're more screwed than ever.
878
00:47:35,252 --> 00:47:37,413
All because you wanted to protect
the hobbit over here.
879
00:47:37,521 --> 00:47:39,045
- Hey, let's just stop for a second.
- I am not a hobbit.
880
00:47:39,156 --> 00:47:40,953
- You're a damn hobbit, okay?
- I am not!
881
00:47:41,058 --> 00:47:44,687
Hold it! Hey.
Emmit's not a hobbit, I don't think.
882
00:47:45,762 --> 00:47:47,286
Problem isn't the holdback technique,
883
00:47:47,397 --> 00:47:50,525
although I don't think you guys
had it perfected enough to try.
884
00:47:50,634 --> 00:47:52,226
The problem is Randy
starts rapping insults.
885
00:47:52,336 --> 00:47:55,237
It's not Randy! Okay? It's Ryan!
886
00:47:55,339 --> 00:47:59,673
And all this talk about you being there
when you're not there, it's bull! Okay?
887
00:48:00,177 --> 00:48:02,042
I'm tired of your nonsense! You're fired!
888
00:48:02,145 --> 00:48:06,343
Hey! Sit down here.
Sit down here for a second.
889
00:48:06,450 --> 00:48:11,080
All of you, sit down. You take the bass
out of your voice when you talk to me.
890
00:48:11,755 --> 00:48:13,723
Now, we just completed phase one.
891
00:48:13,824 --> 00:48:16,486
See if this guy has any mettle.
And guess what we found out?
892
00:48:16,593 --> 00:48:20,188
Filkins does have some mettle.
So now we move to phase two.
893
00:48:20,297 --> 00:48:23,733
Know what phase two is?
Direct contact.
894
00:48:23,901 --> 00:48:27,496
That's where I come in.
Because I will not let this happen again,
895
00:48:27,604 --> 00:48:29,504
if I can help it.
896
00:48:29,606 --> 00:48:31,301
So what's the plan?
897
00:48:31,408 --> 00:48:32,875
- The plan?
- Yeah.
898
00:48:36,613 --> 00:48:38,638
How early do you guys
have to get up for school?
899
00:48:38,749 --> 00:48:39,738
- 7:00.
- 7:00.
900
00:48:39,850 --> 00:48:44,253
Oh, God. Okay.
Tomorrow, we all go in together.
901
00:48:51,461 --> 00:48:54,453
Hey, Wade, what's up?
902
00:48:55,666 --> 00:48:57,031
Where'd you get the shiner?
903
00:48:57,134 --> 00:48:59,261
Come in here, boy. Talk to me.
904
00:49:02,472 --> 00:49:04,940
I was protecting this one kid
in my school
905
00:49:05,042 --> 00:49:07,943
from a bunch of bullies
and one of them punched me.
906
00:49:08,045 --> 00:49:11,173
What? Why would you protect
the kid from a bully?
907
00:49:11,415 --> 00:49:14,316
So he doesn't get beat up.
908
00:49:14,685 --> 00:49:17,279
Then you're interfering
with the natural order.
909
00:49:18,655 --> 00:49:20,646
When I was a kid, I was kind of a bully.
910
00:49:20,757 --> 00:49:23,920
But it's not a bad thing. There was
this kid. I don't know what it was.
911
00:49:24,027 --> 00:49:27,986
Maybe it was his stupid face.
But he'd just really get under my skin.
912
00:49:28,098 --> 00:49:31,067
So I pushed him around a little bit,
called him some hurtful names,
913
00:49:31,168 --> 00:49:34,535
and I honestly think, if I met him today,
he'd thank me for it.
914
00:49:34,638 --> 00:49:37,471
I prepared him for the harshness
of the real world.
915
00:49:38,742 --> 00:49:40,039
Thanks, Jim.
916
00:49:40,143 --> 00:49:43,408
I'm a resource, Wade.
You should use me more often.
917
00:49:46,383 --> 00:49:47,816
Is it locked?
918
00:49:48,418 --> 00:49:50,147
- You got lunch money?
- Yep.
919
00:49:50,420 --> 00:49:52,581
- You got any tests today?
- See you and the questions.
920
00:49:52,689 --> 00:49:55,419
Don't fresh-off to any of your teachers.
921
00:49:55,892 --> 00:49:58,452
All right, come here,
give mommy a kiss.
922
00:49:58,562 --> 00:50:00,792
Come on, punky-wunky. I love you.
923
00:50:04,668 --> 00:50:06,192
- Okay.
- Be good.
924
00:50:09,339 --> 00:50:12,103
- Bye. I love you.
- Bye. I love you, Mommy!
925
00:50:12,209 --> 00:50:13,972
"I love you, Mommy."
926
00:50:15,912 --> 00:50:17,573
Black ops in the hizzouse.
927
00:50:17,681 --> 00:50:20,081
This old soldier could use
a kissy from mommy.
928
00:50:20,183 --> 00:50:21,844
Come on.
I'm going in to the school today.
929
00:50:21,952 --> 00:50:24,011
Drillbit is going in. Very visible.
Let's do it.
930
00:50:24,121 --> 00:50:26,248
- You can't go in there looking like that.
- Why?
931
00:50:26,356 --> 00:50:28,256
You look like Crocodile Dundee
or something.
932
00:50:28,358 --> 00:50:30,053
Screw you. What're you talking about?
933
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:31,491
I'm just saying we need to clean you up.
934
00:50:31,595 --> 00:50:34,428
Wrong. This soldier doesn't clean up.
What you see is what you get.
935
00:50:34,531 --> 00:50:36,328
Drillbit, you just don't look
like a teacher.
936
00:50:36,433 --> 00:50:38,731
I mean, we need you to blend in.
The camouflage technique.
937
00:50:38,835 --> 00:50:41,065
- In my house. Come on.
- Let's go.
938
00:50:41,204 --> 00:50:43,764
"Camouflage technique"? I like that.
939
00:50:43,974 --> 00:50:49,105
...if I remember how to do this.
It really is strong enough for a man.
940
00:50:59,456 --> 00:51:02,118
Did your dad leave any socks behind?
941
00:51:03,126 --> 00:51:06,562
How many tardies can you have
before they give you a detention?
942
00:51:08,532 --> 00:51:10,734
Emmit, you're drying my eyeballs.
943
00:51:14,104 --> 00:51:18,006
All right, here's our class schedules
and a detailed map of the school.
944
00:51:18,108 --> 00:51:21,077
We have the first class together,
so just meet us by the Life Skills room
945
00:51:21,178 --> 00:51:22,270
so you can walk us to our lockers.
946
00:51:22,379 --> 00:51:24,142
Okay, now, remember,
I'm not just gonna walk in there
947
00:51:24,247 --> 00:51:26,511
and start kicking ass, okay?
I got to protect you guys,
948
00:51:26,616 --> 00:51:29,050
but I need to blend in and lay low.
949
00:51:29,152 --> 00:51:33,612
I'm gonna be visible to you guys,
but invisible to everyone else.
950
00:51:40,831 --> 00:51:45,200
That's a look that says,
"I have no idea what I'm doing here."
951
00:51:47,437 --> 00:51:50,531
All first-time subs have it.
Welcome to McKinley!
952
00:51:52,209 --> 00:51:55,610
- Thanks. Was it that obvious?
- Well, yeah, a little bit.
953
00:51:56,746 --> 00:51:57,872
Whoa!
954
00:51:58,181 --> 00:52:01,617
Not you kids. Please, go to class.
Go, go, go. Get away from me.
955
00:52:02,452 --> 00:52:05,285
You, second floor, teachers' lounge.
956
00:52:05,388 --> 00:52:07,379
They'll give you your assignment
up there. It's right over there.
957
00:52:07,491 --> 00:52:10,153
- I'm gonna head up there. Okay.
- Yep? You got it.
958
00:52:19,035 --> 00:52:20,525
How're you doing?
959
00:52:22,472 --> 00:52:25,805
Teachers' lounge. They're all the same.
960
00:52:28,278 --> 00:52:31,042
Put your names on the food. Smart.
961
00:52:31,748 --> 00:52:32,772
Sneaky.
962
00:52:34,384 --> 00:52:36,944
- See Grey's Anatomy last night?
- Yeah.
963
00:52:38,488 --> 00:52:39,716
- Hey, Lis.
- Hi.
964
00:52:39,823 --> 00:52:41,688
Got half an orange with your name on it.
965
00:52:41,791 --> 00:52:43,258
Oh, no, thanks.
966
00:52:58,275 --> 00:53:01,369
- Can I help you?
- No. With what?
967
00:53:02,078 --> 00:53:04,706
- Are you lost?
- No. Why?
968
00:53:05,248 --> 00:53:08,775
- You look like a lost parent.
- No.
969
00:53:08,919 --> 00:53:11,820
No. I'm a substitute.
970
00:53:13,790 --> 00:53:17,988
- For what?
- For whatever needs substituting.
971
00:53:19,696 --> 00:53:23,792
Yeah, they'll just plug me in.
I think I'm just gonna wait here until,
972
00:53:23,900 --> 00:53:26,994
you know, if they need me in
French, then that's where I'll go.
973
00:53:27,103 --> 00:53:29,799
- You know French?
- A little bit. Yeah.
974
00:53:29,906 --> 00:53:33,569
Enough to get by,
or enough to teach these animals.
975
00:53:35,612 --> 00:53:37,807
- What do you teach?
- English.
976
00:53:38,615 --> 00:53:39,946
My native tongue.
977
00:53:43,720 --> 00:53:45,278
I'm Lisa Zachey.
978
00:53:47,090 --> 00:53:49,581
Now is that Miss or Missus Zachey?
979
00:53:49,693 --> 00:53:55,063
- Miss.
- Miss. It had to be. Enchant�.
980
00:53:57,133 --> 00:53:59,067
And who are you?
981
00:53:59,269 --> 00:54:01,760
Drill... Dr. Illbit.
982
00:54:02,706 --> 00:54:03,673
Oh.
983
00:54:03,773 --> 00:54:05,001
- Yeah.
- A doctor.
984
00:54:05,108 --> 00:54:08,805
Teacher. Teacher and a doctor.
Just want to help.
985
00:54:08,912 --> 00:54:12,939
People don't care how I do it.
Just give me a chance to help.
986
00:54:13,250 --> 00:54:17,084
- You want some hot coffee?
- Only in the worst way.
987
00:54:19,623 --> 00:54:22,148
Who can give me
another name for gonorrhea?
988
00:54:25,161 --> 00:54:26,560
That's a little hint.
989
00:54:26,663 --> 00:54:31,066
That's right, the clap. Or the drip.
990
00:54:31,501 --> 00:54:33,469
All right, Dane? Get the lights.
991
00:54:33,570 --> 00:54:38,564
In the male, the bacteria of gonorrhea
usually enters by way of the urethra.
992
00:54:38,675 --> 00:54:41,701
From two to five days later,
the guy feels a painful burning,
993
00:54:41,811 --> 00:54:43,540
particularly when he urinates...
994
00:54:43,647 --> 00:54:45,945
They make these things to scare us.
I'm not scared of this.
995
00:54:46,049 --> 00:54:49,018
... looks like this.
996
00:54:49,252 --> 00:54:53,586
- I really like your suit.
- Yeah. I really like your everything.
997
00:54:53,690 --> 00:54:55,214
Now what do we do?
998
00:54:55,325 --> 00:54:57,816
Not many teachers
can afford a suit like that.
999
00:54:57,927 --> 00:54:59,861
- Yeah?
- lf he wants to eat.
1000
00:55:01,031 --> 00:55:03,261
Well, I mainly eat out of a dumpster.
1001
00:55:05,435 --> 00:55:07,460
I should try that.
I need some new dresses.
1002
00:55:07,570 --> 00:55:11,529
Don't. Or if you do, stay away from
the one at Ocean and Wilshire.
1003
00:55:11,641 --> 00:55:15,407
That's mine. Seriously, stay out of it.
1004
00:55:16,746 --> 00:55:19,715
- What are we doing? Let's go.
- I don't know.
1005
00:55:19,816 --> 00:55:21,681
You're a bad boy.
1006
00:55:22,018 --> 00:55:25,510
- Maybe I need a detention.
- You're funny.
1007
00:55:26,690 --> 00:55:29,454
- I'm not joking.
- Me, either.
1008
00:55:36,232 --> 00:55:38,598
Look, I want nothing more
than to spend the rest of the day
1009
00:55:38,702 --> 00:55:40,966
sitting on this couch with you,
1010
00:55:41,071 --> 00:55:44,768
but I got to get to class because
my students need me. Okay?
1011
00:55:44,908 --> 00:55:48,639
No. You still have five minutes
before the next class.
1012
00:55:48,978 --> 00:55:49,967
We do?
1013
00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:54,278
And you seem like someone who could
accomplish a lot in five minutes.
1014
00:55:54,651 --> 00:55:56,448
I hope so.
1015
00:55:56,553 --> 00:55:59,647
Although five minutes
might be four too many.
1016
00:56:03,226 --> 00:56:04,921
Let's go, let's go!
1017
00:56:05,028 --> 00:56:07,622
We really like Life Skills.
Can we just stay in the room, maybe?
1018
00:56:07,731 --> 00:56:09,892
Why don't you practice
some life skills out here in the hallway?
1019
00:56:09,999 --> 00:56:11,591
It's just as important.
1020
00:56:12,535 --> 00:56:13,524
Okay, where is he?
1021
00:56:13,636 --> 00:56:16,469
This is bull. Maybe I should
just beat the crap out of you two.
1022
00:56:16,573 --> 00:56:18,438
There's Brooke!
1023
00:56:23,480 --> 00:56:24,947
Oh, no. There he is.
1024
00:56:31,654 --> 00:56:32,848
I think I'd better get...
1025
00:56:32,956 --> 00:56:34,446
When are you free? I want to see you.
1026
00:56:34,557 --> 00:56:36,718
- I have sixth period free.
- Sixth period? Okay.
1027
00:56:36,826 --> 00:56:38,487
I think I have that period free, also.
1028
00:56:38,595 --> 00:56:40,426
Why don't we meet back here? Okay?
1029
00:56:40,530 --> 00:56:42,020
- Okay.
- Meet me right here?
1030
00:56:42,132 --> 00:56:43,622
I'll keep the couch warm.
1031
00:56:43,733 --> 00:56:46,702
We better check the tags to make sure
this couch is flame retardant.
1032
00:56:46,803 --> 00:56:48,100
- I will.
- You know?
1033
00:56:48,271 --> 00:56:50,068
You know what I mean?
Flame retardant?
1034
00:56:50,173 --> 00:56:51,731
- Yes.
- 'Cause you're hot.
1035
00:56:53,309 --> 00:56:55,869
Where is Life Skills?
1036
00:56:58,348 --> 00:57:00,578
Drillbit, come in, please!
Where are you?
1037
00:57:00,683 --> 00:57:01,672
Drillbit, come in!
1038
00:57:01,785 --> 00:57:04,310
I don't know!
I can't understand Emmit's map!
1039
00:57:04,821 --> 00:57:07,881
- Go, go, go!
- Come on, Emmit. Come on.
1040
00:57:08,324 --> 00:57:11,384
- Crap!
- I knew Drillbit was a fraud.
1041
00:57:11,494 --> 00:57:13,587
- I told you!
- He's gonna be here!
1042
00:57:13,696 --> 00:57:14,890
Life Skills!
1043
00:57:15,064 --> 00:57:17,658
I need Life Skills!
1044
00:57:18,234 --> 00:57:19,633
Out of my way!
1045
00:57:27,143 --> 00:57:29,703
Open the door!
1046
00:57:29,846 --> 00:57:31,177
How is that up to code?
1047
00:57:31,281 --> 00:57:33,613
Excuse me!
Mordor Castle coming through!
1048
00:57:36,653 --> 00:57:39,315
Excuse me!
Mordor Castle coming through!
1049
00:57:51,267 --> 00:57:53,326
This is real! This is not a drill.
1050
00:57:53,436 --> 00:57:55,301
Everybody, clear the hall!
1051
00:57:55,405 --> 00:57:58,169
That means you! Let's go!
Clear the hall!
1052
00:58:00,677 --> 00:58:02,941
The freak actually came through, huh?
1053
00:58:04,247 --> 00:58:05,441
Awesome!
1054
00:58:12,856 --> 00:58:14,619
- Hoo-rah.
- Hoo-rah.
1055
00:58:16,860 --> 00:58:18,157
All right.
1056
00:58:27,070 --> 00:58:29,095
Mister Filkins!
Why don't you just come up
1057
00:58:29,205 --> 00:58:31,969
to the front of the class and read from
1058
00:58:32,075 --> 00:58:34,566
The Collected Works
of the Romantic Poets?
1059
00:58:39,415 --> 00:58:41,781
"I like kissing this and that of you
1060
00:58:41,885 --> 00:58:46,879
"I like slowly stroking the shocking fuzz"
1061
00:58:51,027 --> 00:58:54,463
Hey, aren't you the guy that
kicked Filkins' butt freestyling?
1062
00:58:55,298 --> 00:58:57,823
You better believe it.
They call me T-Dog.
1063
00:58:57,967 --> 00:59:01,562
- Wow, that's cool.
- He is so cute!
1064
00:59:01,671 --> 00:59:02,638
Wow.
1065
00:59:02,739 --> 00:59:05,003
Wade, this is Drillbit. Come in. Wade?
1066
00:59:05,608 --> 00:59:08,304
- Yeah?
- Filkins is heading east down the stairs.
1067
00:59:08,411 --> 00:59:10,971
The first stairwell. He's coming
down now. Watch your ass.
1068
00:59:11,080 --> 00:59:12,604
Read you. Copy. Roger.
1069
00:59:12,715 --> 00:59:15,616
F.Y. I., I just heard this pack of girls
yapping, and your girl, Brooke,
1070
00:59:15,718 --> 00:59:19,484
just got cast in Romeo and Juliet.
You might want to check that out.
1071
00:59:19,956 --> 00:59:23,983
Madam, madam, your lady mother
is coming to your chamber!
1072
00:59:24,961 --> 00:59:27,623
The day is broke, be wary, look about.
1073
00:59:30,867 --> 00:59:34,200
Come on! You're dogging it!
Faster! Faster!
1074
00:59:34,304 --> 00:59:36,105
Go! I want to see some more!
1075
00:59:36,372 --> 00:59:41,571
Go! Come on!
Let's go! Let's go! One more!
1076
00:59:41,711 --> 00:59:43,576
And you guys!
I don't want you just watching!
1077
00:59:43,680 --> 00:59:46,240
Do some bass fishing! Then reel it in!
1078
00:59:46,349 --> 00:59:47,407
Come on!
1079
00:59:47,517 --> 00:59:50,042
Let's go, keep going!
Work some thumbs!
1080
00:59:50,153 --> 00:59:51,814
For texting!
1081
00:59:53,556 --> 00:59:54,784
Look out, huh?
1082
00:59:55,158 --> 00:59:59,060
- How was school, Professor?
- It is great.
1083
00:59:59,596 --> 01:00:03,430
And as long as you got a coffee cup
in your hand, nobody says anything.
1084
01:00:06,169 --> 01:00:07,932
I was thinking
about writing a paper on...
1085
01:00:08,037 --> 01:00:09,527
- Hey!
- What the...
1086
01:00:09,639 --> 01:00:10,663
Coffee cup.
1087
01:00:10,773 --> 01:00:13,503
Now, Castro,
he knew that he was not gonna get
1088
01:00:13,610 --> 01:00:15,407
any action with Marilyn Monroe.
1089
01:00:15,511 --> 01:00:17,911
And that is why John F. Kennedy
was shot.
1090
01:00:22,318 --> 01:00:25,617
- Don!
- Hello, fellow teacher.
1091
01:00:31,461 --> 01:00:33,554
Come on, guys, hit the showers!
1092
01:00:35,131 --> 01:00:39,124
Look, my rope's too short.
I can't get down.
1093
01:00:39,235 --> 01:00:42,204
Where you going? Get back here!
1094
01:00:43,039 --> 01:00:45,507
- Yo, hold on!
- What is this?
1095
01:00:45,608 --> 01:00:47,838
Ronnie, let yourself down.
1096
01:00:59,088 --> 01:01:03,923
Happy birthday, Dr. Illbit
1097
01:01:04,027 --> 01:01:09,124
Happy birthday to you
1098
01:01:57,847 --> 01:02:01,749
Hey, T-Dog. You've got to admit
hiring Drillbit was a good idea.
1099
01:02:01,851 --> 01:02:03,546
- Okay, you're right.
- See?
1100
01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:07,087
The freak's actually worth all the money
we're spending on him, I guess.
1101
01:02:07,190 --> 01:02:08,680
Good morning.
1102
01:02:09,058 --> 01:02:12,516
- Great coffee this morning, Dr. Illbit.
- Enjoy it.
1103
01:02:13,062 --> 01:02:15,428
- You know, I really like it here.
- You're doing a great job, Drillbit.
1104
01:02:15,531 --> 01:02:16,657
I know I am.
1105
01:02:16,933 --> 01:02:18,730
Come here, come here, come here.
1106
01:02:19,268 --> 01:02:21,361
Okay, quick. Pop quiz. You like a girl.
1107
01:02:21,471 --> 01:02:23,132
You're completely shocked
that she likes you.
1108
01:02:23,239 --> 01:02:26,265
Things are already just crazy hot,
just loco.
1109
01:02:26,409 --> 01:02:28,400
But now you'd like to ask her out.
1110
01:02:28,511 --> 01:02:31,674
And you're not sure if
she's just in it for the sex.
1111
01:02:31,781 --> 01:02:33,942
And you haven't been
on a date in forever.
1112
01:02:34,050 --> 01:02:35,574
And you're a little bit afraid,
1113
01:02:35,685 --> 01:02:37,482
and you don't know
what the hell you're doing, anyway.
1114
01:02:37,587 --> 01:02:39,111
Well, I can't really relate to that,
1115
01:02:39,222 --> 01:02:41,747
but what I would do is just
join every club she's in
1116
01:02:41,858 --> 01:02:44,418
and eventually work up
the nerve to talk to her.
1117
01:02:44,527 --> 01:02:46,995
- And how's that working for you?
- Not at all.
1118
01:02:47,096 --> 01:02:49,564
Okay, look. One should do the opposite.
1119
01:02:49,665 --> 01:02:51,292
- Yeah, probably.
- Okay.
1120
01:02:51,734 --> 01:02:55,670
Congratulations, you just passed.
Hey, scram. Scram. Crotch blocker.
1121
01:02:58,875 --> 01:03:00,001
- Hey.
- Hey.
1122
01:03:00,109 --> 01:03:02,634
- Look, you look pretty.
- Thank you.
1123
01:03:03,112 --> 01:03:04,739
You know,
I haven't been on a lot of dates,
1124
01:03:04,847 --> 01:03:07,543
and I really don't know the way
this is supposed to work,
1125
01:03:07,650 --> 01:03:09,140
because we kind of skipped that part.
1126
01:03:09,252 --> 01:03:13,621
But would you ever want to get together
after school and maybe hang out?
1127
01:03:15,358 --> 01:03:16,655
I'm sorry.
1128
01:03:17,059 --> 01:03:21,621
Rule 35A in the teacher's manual states
that you cannot date other teachers.
1129
01:03:22,398 --> 01:03:27,062
Oh, really. Yeah.
Probably a good policy.
1130
01:03:27,470 --> 01:03:28,528
Yeah.
1131
01:03:28,838 --> 01:03:31,432
So it's a good thing you're a doctor.
1132
01:03:34,076 --> 01:03:35,634
So, yes.
1133
01:03:38,414 --> 01:03:40,712
- I'll see you tonight?
- Okay.
1134
01:03:41,784 --> 01:03:44,947
The Battle of Sekigahara
1135
01:03:45,421 --> 01:03:49,881
when Kanetsugu mocked
Tokunaga's abuses,
1136
01:03:50,359 --> 01:03:53,590
which only infuriated Tokunaga
1137
01:03:54,363 --> 01:04:00,962
who then summoned Toyotomi
and united Japan.
1138
01:04:01,470 --> 01:04:03,938
And kept the local feudal lords
from warring.
1139
01:04:04,040 --> 01:04:06,873
Hey. What are you doing in this club?
1140
01:04:06,976 --> 01:04:08,409
I'm Asian.
1141
01:04:08,511 --> 01:04:10,001
He died. Then...
1142
01:04:10,112 --> 01:04:12,512
- No, you aren't.
- Yeah. A little bit.
1143
01:04:13,182 --> 01:04:14,149
Really?
1144
01:04:15,885 --> 01:04:18,911
- You don't even look a little Asian.
- Yeah, I know.
1145
01:04:19,822 --> 01:04:21,756
The West attacked first.
1146
01:04:22,558 --> 01:04:26,153
So how come I see you in, like,
so many activities I'm in?
1147
01:04:27,396 --> 01:04:31,196
Just... I joined some of the clubs
you were in because
1148
01:04:31,300 --> 01:04:33,200
I wanted to have a chance to talk to you.
1149
01:04:33,302 --> 01:04:38,604
Wakisaka, 990 men.
Ankokuji, 1,800 men.
1150
01:04:39,242 --> 01:04:42,109
So you're not Asian.
1151
01:04:42,211 --> 01:04:43,178
No.
1152
01:04:44,814 --> 01:04:47,681
Well, maybe somewhere way back.
1153
01:04:47,950 --> 01:04:52,785
Chosokabe, 6,600 men.
This is exciting, don't you think?
1154
01:04:52,922 --> 01:04:54,287
All these men.
1155
01:04:54,423 --> 01:04:56,391
Well, you can't quit now.
1156
01:04:56,492 --> 01:04:58,551
I'm gonna make you come
to all our meetings.
1157
01:04:58,661 --> 01:05:00,754
Membership is way down this year.
1158
01:05:00,863 --> 01:05:02,558
Okay. I can do that.
1159
01:05:03,633 --> 01:05:07,660
- Is everything okay at school?
- Yeah. Everything's fine. I'm busy.
1160
01:05:07,770 --> 01:05:11,831
Honey, I know there's a lot of pressure
on kids once they get to high school.
1161
01:05:11,941 --> 01:05:13,568
And there are kids who are gonna
want to be your friend,
1162
01:05:13,676 --> 01:05:16,270
but they'll also want you
to take their drugs.
1163
01:05:16,979 --> 01:05:19,413
I just noticed that you seem
to be out of money a lot lately,
1164
01:05:19,515 --> 01:05:21,847
and I want to make sure
you're not spending your money on that.
1165
01:05:21,951 --> 01:05:24,579
No! I'm not doing drugs, Mom.
I promise.
1166
01:05:24,687 --> 01:05:26,882
Coach says drugs are for losers.
1167
01:05:28,424 --> 01:05:30,119
You sure you're not high?
1168
01:05:30,960 --> 01:05:31,927
No!
1169
01:05:32,028 --> 01:05:33,825
Well, I notice you're really going
at your food.
1170
01:05:33,930 --> 01:05:37,195
- Got the munchies?
- Anyways, we just worry about you.
1171
01:05:37,700 --> 01:05:38,792
I understand that.
1172
01:05:38,901 --> 01:05:42,359
Also, I'm missing a silver platter
that was in the living room.
1173
01:05:42,471 --> 01:05:44,336
- Have you seen it?
- I'm taking Home Ec.
1174
01:05:44,440 --> 01:05:46,635
We needed serving trays
for appetizers. Sorry.
1175
01:05:46,742 --> 01:05:48,369
Yeah, well, come to think of it,
I'm missing a watch.
1176
01:05:48,477 --> 01:05:50,308
You didn't take that to Home Ec, too,
did you?
1177
01:05:50,413 --> 01:05:52,472
Oh, yeah.
We're making watch cupcakes, Jim.
1178
01:05:52,581 --> 01:05:54,276
Watch it, wise guy.
1179
01:05:59,922 --> 01:06:01,412
Hey.
1180
01:06:02,692 --> 01:06:05,661
Careful, Wade. You don't sneak up
on somebody like that.
1181
01:06:05,761 --> 01:06:06,989
- Sorry.
- No, it's okay.
1182
01:06:07,096 --> 01:06:08,996
But I could have jumped up
and killed you in two moves,
1183
01:06:09,098 --> 01:06:11,760
and then, I don't know, I'd feel guilty.
1184
01:06:11,867 --> 01:06:14,495
- I talked to Brooke.
- Really? Have a seat.
1185
01:06:14,603 --> 01:06:16,628
- I think she might like me.
- Yeah?
1186
01:06:16,739 --> 01:06:18,570
Yeah. At least a little bit.
1187
01:06:18,674 --> 01:06:20,608
That's all you need.
Get your foot in the door.
1188
01:06:20,710 --> 01:06:23,178
I don't think I would have had
the confidence to have tried without you.
1189
01:06:23,279 --> 01:06:24,610
- I mean...
- Come on.
1190
01:06:24,714 --> 01:06:26,944
It's been great having someone
around who, like, likes me
1191
01:06:27,049 --> 01:06:29,176
and isn't making fun of me
or telling me to join the football team
1192
01:06:29,285 --> 01:06:30,752
like my stepdad.
1193
01:06:30,853 --> 01:06:33,879
Just do your best. Be all you can be.
What's the Army always say?
1194
01:06:33,990 --> 01:06:35,617
"Have it your way."
1195
01:06:37,293 --> 01:06:39,591
I think that's Burger King.
1196
01:06:41,897 --> 01:06:43,728
Where do you think they got it from?
1197
01:06:43,833 --> 01:06:47,360
Plus, what you did.
The whole black ops bodyguard thing.
1198
01:06:49,138 --> 01:06:50,469
Well, yeah.
1199
01:06:52,141 --> 01:06:54,803
Yeah. I actually wanted to be a doctor.
1200
01:06:56,512 --> 01:06:57,570
Yeah.
1201
01:06:58,280 --> 01:07:02,683
But my old man was an Army colonel,
wouldn't pay for me to go to college.
1202
01:07:04,153 --> 01:07:08,715
Yeah. He always said, "Drillbit, you're
not the doctor type. You're stupid."
1203
01:07:09,458 --> 01:07:12,791
I guess he thought that
because I didn't get good grades
1204
01:07:12,895 --> 01:07:14,863
or like to go to school.
1205
01:07:18,501 --> 01:07:21,265
I don't know. Maybe he was right.
1206
01:07:21,370 --> 01:07:23,338
So you became an army of one.
1207
01:07:24,573 --> 01:07:26,063
An army of one.
1208
01:07:27,543 --> 01:07:28,601
Here.
1209
01:07:29,545 --> 01:07:31,308
We made this for you.
1210
01:07:32,448 --> 01:07:33,779
An army of four.
1211
01:07:36,552 --> 01:07:38,486
I don't know if you understand,
1212
01:07:38,587 --> 01:07:42,683
but before we met you, we thought
our lives were gonna suck forever.
1213
01:07:42,792 --> 01:07:44,282
At least I did.
1214
01:07:46,362 --> 01:07:51,561
Well, you're right. I don't understand
because of how hardened I am.
1215
01:07:52,735 --> 01:07:55,863
Tough thing about what I do
is I can't let my guard down.
1216
01:07:57,807 --> 01:08:00,173
Well, for what it's worth,
1217
01:08:00,276 --> 01:08:03,803
I hope after all this is done,
you'll still be my friend.
1218
01:08:03,946 --> 01:08:04,913
Bye.
1219
01:08:13,689 --> 01:08:15,816
This is so beautiful.
1220
01:08:16,425 --> 01:08:18,086
I love coming out here.
1221
01:08:18,194 --> 01:08:22,688
Actually, I used to live in a small place
near here until it got re-zoned.
1222
01:08:23,499 --> 01:08:24,523
Yeah.
1223
01:08:24,633 --> 01:08:26,726
- That's a shame.
- Nah. Probably just as well.
1224
01:08:26,836 --> 01:08:28,565
Hey, stranger.
1225
01:08:29,572 --> 01:08:32,097
Can you spare some change, stranger?
1226
01:08:32,374 --> 01:08:33,773
Here you go.
1227
01:08:36,011 --> 01:08:37,137
- Sucker.
- Yeah.
1228
01:08:38,514 --> 01:08:40,846
Got some money for some food? Hi.
1229
01:08:43,285 --> 01:08:45,048
No time to be cheap.
1230
01:08:45,955 --> 01:08:48,856
- Wow.
- Good evening, sir. Can I get a dollar?
1231
01:08:51,193 --> 01:08:52,592
- Cool. Thank you very much.
- Yeah.
1232
01:08:52,695 --> 01:08:54,720
Hey, can I get another dollar?
1233
01:08:58,934 --> 01:09:00,561
You look familiar.
1234
01:09:02,304 --> 01:09:04,101
You know that you're a better person
than me,
1235
01:09:04,206 --> 01:09:08,643
because, I hate to say it,
but I just get irritated.
1236
01:09:08,744 --> 01:09:12,475
They irritate the shit out of me.
I felt like...
1237
01:09:12,581 --> 01:09:16,711
But then you have to think,
they work for the grace of God, so...
1238
01:09:16,819 --> 01:09:20,084
- That's cute.
- Hey, you want to see something cool?
1239
01:09:20,189 --> 01:09:21,486
Come here.
1240
01:09:21,857 --> 01:09:23,484
- There.
- Thank you.
1241
01:09:25,895 --> 01:09:28,261
So what else do you have in here?
1242
01:09:28,664 --> 01:09:30,655
- Two-buck Chuck.
- You know that wine?
1243
01:09:30,766 --> 01:09:32,495
I love this wine.
1244
01:09:32,601 --> 01:09:35,365
- That's all a teacher can afford.
- Tell me about it.
1245
01:09:35,671 --> 01:09:36,933
Get this.
1246
01:09:38,274 --> 01:09:40,071
And here I was all worried that
you were gonna take me
1247
01:09:40,176 --> 01:09:42,667
to some hip dance club or something.
1248
01:09:43,679 --> 01:09:46,079
That's definitely not me.
1249
01:09:46,649 --> 01:09:48,446
But, no, I'm actually more of
1250
01:09:48,551 --> 01:09:51,179
a kind of simple,
just down to earth outdoorsman.
1251
01:09:51,453 --> 01:09:53,785
I like that you don't try too hard.
1252
01:09:54,456 --> 01:09:57,914
The truth is,
this is me trying really, really hard.
1253
01:09:58,460 --> 01:09:59,825
That's cute.
1254
01:10:02,798 --> 01:10:05,392
Look, I want to talk to you. I mean...
1255
01:10:08,938 --> 01:10:12,032
There's some things
I want you to know about me.
1256
01:10:12,141 --> 01:10:15,838
I want us to look each other in the eye,
and I want us to get it out on the table,
1257
01:10:15,945 --> 01:10:19,039
and we just, you know,
we listen, and there's no judgment.
1258
01:10:19,148 --> 01:10:24,518
God. You're just so great. You're really
just like the perfect guy for me.
1259
01:10:24,987 --> 01:10:27,319
- Really?
- I'm serious.
1260
01:10:27,423 --> 01:10:31,757
You're just beautiful,
and you're nice to me, and it's so great.
1261
01:10:32,394 --> 01:10:36,421
'Cause I'm really just always attracted
to just such dirtbag guys.
1262
01:10:36,599 --> 01:10:37,623
They're out there.
1263
01:10:37,733 --> 01:10:41,362
I'm a real loser magnet.
It's, like, on some unconscious level,
1264
01:10:41,470 --> 01:10:46,601
I just need to be with a guy who has
absolutely nothing going for him.
1265
01:10:46,709 --> 01:10:50,668
You know, just some loser,
some bum lying pig.
1266
01:10:50,779 --> 01:10:52,110
- Stop, stop, stop, stop.
- You know, just...
1267
01:10:52,214 --> 01:10:53,203
Stop it.
1268
01:10:53,315 --> 01:10:57,217
I get it. You made some bad choices,
and who hasn't?
1269
01:10:57,987 --> 01:11:00,285
It's just you were starting
to rant a little bit.
1270
01:11:00,389 --> 01:11:01,913
It's just I'm happy to be
with somebody...
1271
01:11:02,024 --> 01:11:02,991
I know.
1272
01:11:03,092 --> 01:11:05,925
You're with a doctor now.
1273
01:11:06,662 --> 01:11:09,130
Yeah. Thank God.
1274
01:11:10,899 --> 01:11:12,594
Let's just kiss.
1275
01:11:26,315 --> 01:11:27,873
Did you do that?
1276
01:11:28,384 --> 01:11:30,944
Kid just jumped out of the bushes
and started jamming. That's weird.
1277
01:11:32,688 --> 01:11:34,781
I got nothing to do with it.
1278
01:11:58,314 --> 01:12:00,805
- That naked guy's my teacher!
- What?
1279
01:12:00,916 --> 01:12:02,474
- Yeah!
- He ain't your teacher!
1280
01:12:02,584 --> 01:12:05,815
Every day he's at the off-ramp.
I give him some change.
1281
01:12:05,921 --> 01:12:07,752
What do you mean? Like a bum?
1282
01:12:07,856 --> 01:12:11,553
What are you talking about?
He's not a bum! Less fortunate!
1283
01:12:13,162 --> 01:12:14,686
Yeah, or get out of the way.
1284
01:12:14,797 --> 01:12:15,957
How're you doing?
1285
01:12:16,065 --> 01:12:17,692
- Hey, how's it going, Drillbit?
- Hey, Drillbit.
1286
01:12:17,800 --> 01:12:19,461
So, listen,
you know the thing we talked about?
1287
01:12:19,568 --> 01:12:20,728
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1288
01:12:20,903 --> 01:12:22,063
- Plan's off.
- What?
1289
01:12:22,171 --> 01:12:24,935
- Drillbit! Drillbit.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
1290
01:12:25,274 --> 01:12:26,502
What do you mean the plan's off?
1291
01:12:26,608 --> 01:12:29,338
It's not off. I just mean let's...
Let's postpone it.
1292
01:12:29,445 --> 01:12:31,037
'Cause I don't think we need
to get their belongings now.
1293
01:12:31,146 --> 01:12:33,171
These kids,
they kind of look at me like I'm a hero,
1294
01:12:33,282 --> 01:12:34,840
and, I don't know,
let's run with that for a little bit.
1295
01:12:34,950 --> 01:12:36,144
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
1296
01:12:36,318 --> 01:12:38,445
You're really getting into this whole
teacher thing here, huh?
1297
01:12:38,554 --> 01:12:40,385
With the sweaters and the loafers.
1298
01:12:40,489 --> 01:12:43,356
- They're wingtips.
- You look like you teach Fagonometry.
1299
01:12:43,459 --> 01:12:45,518
What the hell is this? Who are you?
1300
01:12:45,627 --> 01:12:49,393
I got an old saying for you, Drillbit,
"You can't polish a turd."
1301
01:12:49,498 --> 01:12:51,659
Hey, Don, first of all,
that's not an old saying.
1302
01:12:51,767 --> 01:12:52,825
You stole that from me.
1303
01:12:52,935 --> 01:12:55,403
I say it all the time.
Secondly, I'm insulted.
1304
01:12:55,504 --> 01:12:58,064
Well, you should be. Drillbit, I know you.
1305
01:12:58,340 --> 01:13:00,570
And the real you
would do this deal, man.
1306
01:13:00,676 --> 01:13:04,407
There's a lot of heads that want to feed
off of this, man. Don't let us down.
1307
01:13:04,513 --> 01:13:06,003
No! No, that's just it.
1308
01:13:06,115 --> 01:13:08,140
For the first time,
I'm not letting everybody down.
1309
01:13:08,250 --> 01:13:10,878
- And now you're not making any sense!
- Yeah.
1310
01:13:10,986 --> 01:13:15,082
That guy's a fraud!
He's a bum in a Mister Rogers sweater!
1311
01:13:19,194 --> 01:13:21,025
Yo, yo, yo, yo.
Okay, check it out, check it out.
1312
01:13:21,130 --> 01:13:22,222
I just saw the new substitute...
1313
01:13:22,331 --> 01:13:24,299
Delta-four-niner,
this is Yu-Gi-Oh-seven.
1314
01:13:24,400 --> 01:13:26,095
On the highway to the danger zone.
1315
01:13:26,201 --> 01:13:27,862
Repeat, on the highway, over.
1316
01:13:27,970 --> 01:13:29,835
Oh, shitballs!
1317
01:13:29,938 --> 01:13:32,133
Yu-Gi-Oh-four-seven,
you are not clear to cross.
1318
01:13:32,241 --> 01:13:34,334
Repeat, you got a bogie northbound.
1319
01:13:34,443 --> 01:13:35,842
- Oh, crap.
- Guys, hold your position.
1320
01:13:35,978 --> 01:13:36,967
I'm en route.
1321
01:13:37,079 --> 01:13:38,740
Guys, hold your position!
1322
01:13:40,549 --> 01:13:42,210
Come here, you little rat turds!
1323
01:13:42,317 --> 01:13:43,875
No! Come on!
1324
01:13:43,986 --> 01:13:45,351
Yo, so what'd you do, huh?
1325
01:13:45,454 --> 01:13:47,786
What, did you give the substitute
teacher some spare change
1326
01:13:47,890 --> 01:13:49,881
- so he'd give us a hard time?
- Get them!
1327
01:13:49,992 --> 01:13:51,254
Mister Filkins?
1328
01:13:51,360 --> 01:13:52,952
Excuse me. I need you to get to class.
1329
01:13:53,061 --> 01:13:55,359
And you three,
I want you out of here, too!
1330
01:13:55,464 --> 01:13:56,795
- Go on!
- Hey.
1331
01:13:56,932 --> 01:13:58,900
Get out of my face, you bum!
1332
01:13:59,001 --> 01:14:01,663
Maybe I will
if you stop hassling these kids.
1333
01:14:01,770 --> 01:14:03,169
But until you're ready to do that,
1334
01:14:03,272 --> 01:14:05,502
I'm gonna give you
some detentions to think about it.
1335
01:14:05,607 --> 01:14:07,700
Please, just don't,
don't give me detention.
1336
01:14:07,810 --> 01:14:10,677
Yeah. That's my power,
and I will exercise it.
1337
01:14:10,779 --> 01:14:12,940
And then what? Huh? You gonna make
us shower on the beach
1338
01:14:13,048 --> 01:14:14,515
with you and the rest of the bums?
1339
01:14:14,616 --> 01:14:16,811
- Yeah, we're on to you, buddy.
- What's that supposed to mean?
1340
01:14:16,919 --> 01:14:20,753
What a freak. You got some
weird little fantasies there, kid.
1341
01:14:20,856 --> 01:14:23,620
Okay, here's the deal.
Let me make it real simple.
1342
01:14:23,725 --> 01:14:25,590
I'm a faculty...
1343
01:14:26,728 --> 01:14:28,525
Punk-ass!
1344
01:14:28,931 --> 01:14:31,957
- He got me right in the ear!
- Run! Run!
1345
01:14:32,067 --> 01:14:34,729
- Yeah! Run! Save yourself!
- Run!
1346
01:14:34,870 --> 01:14:35,837
Medic!
1347
01:14:36,905 --> 01:14:38,395
Medic!
1348
01:14:38,774 --> 01:14:40,742
I got hit right in the nose!
1349
01:14:40,876 --> 01:14:42,935
Followed up by a shot to the ear!
1350
01:14:43,745 --> 01:14:46,145
Oh, man. Okay.
1351
01:14:49,318 --> 01:14:51,149
Oh, that doesn't work at all.
1352
01:14:52,521 --> 01:14:55,490
- This whole time he's a bum!
- Hey! Hey, you guys, hold it! Wait up!
1353
01:14:55,591 --> 01:14:58,458
- Guys, let me explain!
- Explain what, huh?
1354
01:14:59,595 --> 01:15:01,756
Filkins is just gonna come after us
harder than ever!
1355
01:15:01,864 --> 01:15:02,922
What was that about showering
on the beach?
1356
01:15:03,031 --> 01:15:03,998
You guys, hold it.
1357
01:15:04,099 --> 01:15:05,157
Why would you shower on the beach?
1358
01:15:05,267 --> 01:15:06,256
Why don't we all just shower
on the beach?
1359
01:15:06,368 --> 01:15:07,460
It's part of my morning fitness regimen!
1360
01:15:07,569 --> 01:15:09,594
I jog on the beach five miles,
then I swim ten miles.
1361
01:15:09,705 --> 01:15:11,969
That's what I do to stay in shape.
Then I shower.
1362
01:15:12,074 --> 01:15:13,735
So, why didn't you defend yourself?
1363
01:15:13,842 --> 01:15:16,276
'Cause I got sucker punched!
Look at this!
1364
01:15:18,180 --> 01:15:19,613
Then I got hit in the ear,
1365
01:15:19,715 --> 01:15:23,048
which you probably can't even see,
'cause it's so deep in the ear canal.
1366
01:15:23,151 --> 01:15:24,118
I didn't really get hurt,
1367
01:15:24,219 --> 01:15:27,279
but I just kind of went down
to give you guys a chance to get away.
1368
01:15:27,389 --> 01:15:28,913
We paid you to beat him up!
1369
01:15:29,024 --> 01:15:32,152
How am I gonna beat him up
with all these kids around?
1370
01:15:32,261 --> 01:15:35,230
Okay, then the principal comes
and maybe some cops.
1371
01:15:35,330 --> 01:15:37,389
They'll find out I'm not a real teacher.
1372
01:15:37,499 --> 01:15:39,933
What good am I
if I'm sitting there in jail?
1373
01:15:40,035 --> 01:15:42,799
Look, I took a bullet for you guys today.
1374
01:15:43,005 --> 01:15:44,666
You guys got off scot-free!
1375
01:15:44,773 --> 01:15:46,502
- Did you get hurt?
- No.
1376
01:15:46,608 --> 01:15:48,337
- Did you get hurt?
- No.
1377
01:15:48,810 --> 01:15:51,608
I'm like one of those guys
jumping in front of the President.
1378
01:15:51,713 --> 01:15:54,477
And, look, I'm not expecting a thank you.
That's my job.
1379
01:15:54,583 --> 01:15:56,244
But maybe give me a bonus
or something.
1380
01:15:56,351 --> 01:15:59,320
Sly used to throw in a car
every now and then.
1381
01:16:02,024 --> 01:16:03,889
I'm so sorry, Drillbit.
1382
01:16:06,862 --> 01:16:09,353
What am I gonna do with you guys?
1383
01:16:10,766 --> 01:16:12,495
You want some cereal?
1384
01:16:12,601 --> 01:16:15,195
- You got any Cap'n Crunch?
- Yeah.
1385
01:16:15,470 --> 01:16:16,494
Let's go.
1386
01:16:20,574 --> 01:16:21,632
- Drillbit!
- What are you doing?
1387
01:16:21,742 --> 01:16:23,175
- What the hell?
- No, don't, stop. Come on.
1388
01:16:23,277 --> 01:16:24,767
- Put that stuff down!
- Hey, no way, man!
1389
01:16:24,878 --> 01:16:26,368
- Drillbit, why you yelling?
- Drillbit, back off, man!
1390
01:16:26,480 --> 01:16:28,914
- You know these guys?
- No, I don't know these people!
1391
01:16:29,016 --> 01:16:30,176
We're almost done here, all right?
1392
01:16:30,284 --> 01:16:32,479
- I am freaking out!
- My parents are gonna kill me!
1393
01:16:32,586 --> 01:16:33,985
- What the hell's going on?
- Everything's fine!
1394
01:16:34,088 --> 01:16:35,316
- Screw this, man! I'm out of here!
- Wait a second!
1395
01:16:35,422 --> 01:16:36,514
- Why are you all yelling?
- Don?
1396
01:16:36,624 --> 01:16:38,854
- Not like this! What are you doing?
- Take it easy!
1397
01:16:38,959 --> 01:16:41,052
- Just take it easy, man.
- This isn't the plan.
1398
01:16:41,161 --> 01:16:43,186
- Relax.
- All the shit's gone in your house.
1399
01:16:43,297 --> 01:16:44,559
You came to me as a man,
I came to you as a man.
1400
01:16:44,665 --> 01:16:46,155
All the shit is gone in my house!
1401
01:16:46,266 --> 01:16:47,699
- Are you...
- Don't you touch me!
1402
01:16:47,801 --> 01:16:49,860
Don't make me Billy Jack your ass.
1403
01:16:51,839 --> 01:16:52,897
Watch out!
1404
01:17:03,517 --> 01:17:05,678
That's how you Billy Jack
somebody's ass.
1405
01:17:05,786 --> 01:17:06,912
Come on, Bernie, let's go!
1406
01:17:07,021 --> 01:17:08,852
Let's go!
Go on, get out of the way, man!
1407
01:17:08,956 --> 01:17:10,548
- Let's go!
- Let's go!
1408
01:17:10,658 --> 01:17:12,956
You'd better run! I saw your faces!
1409
01:17:13,060 --> 01:17:15,426
I got a photogenic memory!
1410
01:17:15,596 --> 01:17:17,826
Get out of my house, you asshole!
1411
01:17:17,931 --> 01:17:20,627
What? There's another one?
I'll kill the asshole!
1412
01:17:20,734 --> 01:17:23,794
No! You, asshole! Get out of my house,
now! Look at what you've done!
1413
01:17:23,904 --> 01:17:25,633
I didn't do anything!
1414
01:17:25,806 --> 01:17:27,774
I'm trying to help you guys! Look at me!
1415
01:17:27,875 --> 01:17:29,706
Wade, I think one of them peed
in your kitchen.
1416
01:17:29,810 --> 01:17:31,903
- Great!
- Should I call the police?
1417
01:17:32,046 --> 01:17:34,139
No, don't call the police! Just stop.
1418
01:17:34,248 --> 01:17:36,113
Drillbit, just tell us the truth.
1419
01:17:36,216 --> 01:17:39,549
You can't handle the truth! I can't...
What do you want to hear?
1420
01:17:39,653 --> 01:17:41,621
That I was raised in an orphanage?
1421
01:17:41,722 --> 01:17:44,520
That I... That no one wanted me?
You don't want to hear that!
1422
01:17:44,625 --> 01:17:46,593
'Cause that's a lie, too!
1423
01:17:48,996 --> 01:17:52,363
Fine. Maybe I wasn't completely straight
with you guys about who I am.
1424
01:17:52,466 --> 01:17:54,457
So you lied about being in the military?
1425
01:17:54,568 --> 01:17:58,004
No! That's true. I was trained
by the United States Army.
1426
01:17:58,105 --> 01:18:00,972
Then why could a teenager beat you up
with so little effort?
1427
01:18:01,075 --> 01:18:04,602
Because I don't like violence.
I wasn't cut out to be a soldier.
1428
01:18:04,912 --> 01:18:07,380
- Boo-hoo.
- I like the parts with the repelling
1429
01:18:07,481 --> 01:18:10,917
and the crawling through the mud
and the swinging on the monkey bars
1430
01:18:11,018 --> 01:18:14,613
and the helping the wounded,
but I don't like confrontation.
1431
01:18:14,722 --> 01:18:18,249
Even this, with you three ganging up
on me, is not... I don't...
1432
01:18:18,792 --> 01:18:20,919
- It's really... I'm sorry.
- Shit!
1433
01:18:21,195 --> 01:18:24,631
You were in the military, huh?
Tell me where you served.
1434
01:18:24,832 --> 01:18:28,996
My company was in the Middle East,
and I was there for like half a day.
1435
01:18:29,103 --> 01:18:33,836
I saw some camels and heard some,
1436
01:18:34,475 --> 01:18:37,342
I think, were some explosions,
I don't know.
1437
01:18:37,845 --> 01:18:41,941
And it was...
It was so hot over there. It was...
1438
01:18:42,816 --> 01:18:46,149
I just climbed in the wheel well of a
cargo plane, and I flew back to the U.S.
1439
01:18:46,253 --> 01:18:48,653
I went AWOL. It was...
1440
01:18:48,756 --> 01:18:50,849
Is your name even Drillbit?
1441
01:18:51,191 --> 01:18:52,351
Is my...
1442
01:18:53,427 --> 01:18:55,486
What? How can you ask me that?
1443
01:18:55,796 --> 01:18:56,922
Is it?
1444
01:18:58,098 --> 01:19:02,194
No, it's... It's Alamo Taylor.
1445
01:19:05,806 --> 01:19:07,671
No. That's a lie, too.
1446
01:19:08,942 --> 01:19:12,207
There I go, trying to impress
a bunch of kids again.
1447
01:19:13,914 --> 01:19:15,905
When are you gonna grow up?
1448
01:19:16,016 --> 01:19:18,348
My real name is Bob Taylor.
1449
01:19:18,819 --> 01:19:20,912
Not Robert, just Bob.
1450
01:19:22,222 --> 01:19:25,350
There, you satisfied?
And I didn't kill anyone with a drill bit.
1451
01:19:25,459 --> 01:19:27,222
Although when I was in high school,
1452
01:19:27,327 --> 01:19:29,818
I did puncture my pinky with a drill bit.
1453
01:19:30,097 --> 01:19:33,066
And everyone started calling me Drillbit,
making fun of me.
1454
01:19:33,167 --> 01:19:34,998
- Okay? And you can see the scar...
- No, get away.
1455
01:19:35,102 --> 01:19:36,763
...if you look closely right there.
Can you see?
1456
01:19:36,870 --> 01:19:40,601
Look, Ryan, look, you can see it.
It's real. Look.
1457
01:19:40,707 --> 01:19:41,799
Can you see it in the light?
1458
01:19:41,909 --> 01:19:46,710
So you were just using us to take
our money and everything in my house?
1459
01:19:54,321 --> 01:19:56,687
That's kind of an oversimplification.
1460
01:19:58,258 --> 01:20:00,123
I thought you cared about us.
1461
01:20:00,727 --> 01:20:03,093
I do. I just...
1462
01:20:04,364 --> 01:20:06,594
I thought you were my friend.
1463
01:20:07,801 --> 01:20:10,531
Get out, Drillbit,
and don't ever come back.
1464
01:20:16,009 --> 01:20:17,271
Leave!
1465
01:20:19,379 --> 01:20:20,676
I'm sorry.
1466
01:20:28,922 --> 01:20:29,889
Hello?
1467
01:20:29,990 --> 01:20:31,218
Hey. Yeah, look, I know...
1468
01:20:31,325 --> 01:20:33,020
I'm sorry, I know
I was supposed to meet you,
1469
01:20:33,126 --> 01:20:35,822
but I'm just having a real terrible day.
1470
01:20:35,963 --> 01:20:37,430
Where are you?
1471
01:20:38,065 --> 01:20:42,001
Remember you said you had
that real self-destructive pattern
1472
01:20:42,102 --> 01:20:47,130
of always going out with guys
that were just real losers, just dirtbags?
1473
01:20:47,241 --> 01:20:49,209
Total zeros.
1474
01:20:49,309 --> 01:20:51,038
- Yes.
- Well.
1475
01:20:51,144 --> 01:20:53,806
You might not be
out of the woods yet with that.
1476
01:20:54,014 --> 01:20:59,213
No, you said you were a doctor.
You're a doctor. You're not a doctor?
1477
01:20:59,319 --> 01:21:00,786
No, I'm not a doctor.
1478
01:21:00,888 --> 01:21:04,415
I'm a homeless U.S. Army deserter.
I was...
1479
01:21:04,524 --> 01:21:07,516
I'm not a teacher, but I'm at the school.
I'm trying to protect these kids.
1480
01:21:07,628 --> 01:21:10,392
What? What did you say
about homeless?
1481
01:21:11,265 --> 01:21:15,531
Like, metaphorically speaking
or in a box?
1482
01:21:18,705 --> 01:21:20,798
You got to let it out.
1483
01:21:21,141 --> 01:21:25,100
You got to just let it out. Just...
1484
01:21:30,751 --> 01:21:32,082
That's not it.
1485
01:21:32,252 --> 01:21:35,915
Drillbit? I mean, Bob. It's us, the guys.
1486
01:21:36,523 --> 01:21:39,583
- Pick up, Bob.
- Yeah, pick up, Drillbit.
1487
01:21:40,460 --> 01:21:41,449
Boys?
1488
01:21:41,561 --> 01:21:44,029
We just called to say
we're calling the cops on you,
1489
01:21:44,131 --> 01:21:47,862
and we hope you spend the rest
of your pathetic life in prison!
1490
01:21:47,968 --> 01:21:51,665
Now I see why people call you Drillbit.
Because you screw people!
1491
01:21:51,805 --> 01:21:54,672
You're a jackass and a dirtbag.
1492
01:21:55,142 --> 01:21:57,372
And I want my bar mitzvah money back.
1493
01:21:57,511 --> 01:22:00,742
Oh, yeah,
and I'd like my walkie-talkie back. Over.
1494
01:22:07,054 --> 01:22:09,249
I tell you what,
I'll give you 1,500 for everything.
1495
01:22:09,356 --> 01:22:10,653
1,500? Come on, man.
1496
01:22:10,757 --> 01:22:12,816
This stuff holds
a lot of sentimental value.
1497
01:22:12,926 --> 01:22:15,554
- To who?
- To the people I stole it from.
1498
01:22:15,662 --> 01:22:17,027
I don't care about them. 1,500.
1499
01:22:17,130 --> 01:22:19,598
All right. Deal. What do I do?
Just back this thing up?
1500
01:22:19,700 --> 01:22:21,827
- Yeah, back it right up.
- All right.
1501
01:22:25,906 --> 01:22:27,737
How're you doing, Don?
1502
01:22:30,410 --> 01:22:33,470
You got a real stupid laugh,
you know that, Don?
1503
01:22:34,748 --> 01:22:36,579
How about you go ahead
and hop on out of that van here,
1504
01:22:36,683 --> 01:22:38,412
so I can kick your ass again?
1505
01:22:38,518 --> 01:22:41,248
Sorry, but this haul's getting
returned to sender.
1506
01:22:41,355 --> 01:22:42,947
- Oh, really?
- Yeah, it is, Don.
1507
01:22:43,056 --> 01:22:44,387
And I'll tell you another thing
that's gonna happen.
1508
01:22:44,491 --> 01:22:46,152
This left foot is gonna go
on the right side
1509
01:22:46,259 --> 01:22:47,658
- of your face!
- Oh, give me a break, Drillbit.
1510
01:22:47,761 --> 01:22:51,424
I know you and the Drillbit I know
isn't capable of really doing it!
1511
01:22:55,802 --> 01:22:56,769
Hoo-rah!
1512
01:22:58,271 --> 01:23:01,263
I'm giving you one more chance
to save this friendship!
1513
01:23:04,711 --> 01:23:07,305
Damn it! You ready for this, Don?
1514
01:23:08,682 --> 01:23:11,412
- No!
- Yeah!
1515
01:23:16,289 --> 01:23:19,190
Polish that turd, Don!
1516
01:23:22,896 --> 01:23:24,454
I'm dead.
1517
01:23:24,564 --> 01:23:26,589
- You're dead.
- I'm sad.
1518
01:23:29,870 --> 01:23:32,065
Wade, what's wrong?
Is everything okay?
1519
01:23:32,172 --> 01:23:34,436
Yeah, but you're not gonna
wanna go home.
1520
01:23:34,541 --> 01:23:38,136
- Oh, no, no, no. The cable go out?
- lf it is, you're dead.
1521
01:23:39,479 --> 01:23:40,446
Of course it was your fault!
1522
01:23:40,547 --> 01:23:42,071
You were home!
You should have stopped them!
1523
01:23:42,182 --> 01:23:44,946
Bear with me.
I didn't mean for this to happen.
1524
01:23:45,052 --> 01:23:46,246
Oh, God.
1525
01:23:46,653 --> 01:23:48,644
Please don't scream.
1526
01:23:50,424 --> 01:23:51,891
What the hell?
I thought we were robbed!
1527
01:23:51,992 --> 01:23:53,289
We were!
1528
01:23:53,393 --> 01:23:55,953
We didn't get robbed!
We got rearranged!
1529
01:23:56,530 --> 01:23:58,555
You and your weirdo friends
have a marijuana party?
1530
01:23:58,665 --> 01:24:00,155
- No!
- Oh, honey.
1531
01:24:00,267 --> 01:24:02,633
- Punish him, Dad.
- Yeah, don't let him get away with this.
1532
01:24:02,736 --> 01:24:05,534
- Are you smoking pot?
- No. I'm really confused.
1533
01:24:05,639 --> 01:24:08,335
No, no, Wade.
Drillbit must have done it.
1534
01:24:08,942 --> 01:24:10,204
Who's Drillbit?
1535
01:24:10,710 --> 01:24:12,507
You tell me what's going on now, Wade.
1536
01:24:13,013 --> 01:24:15,345
I just... I think it's weird, you know,
1537
01:24:15,449 --> 01:24:19,112
that this is what I get for trying to make
them feel like a part of the group.
1538
01:24:19,219 --> 01:24:23,918
I mean, I saw it like a school tradition.
It's hazing, yeah, but
1539
01:24:24,024 --> 01:24:26,117
just to, you know, make them
feel like they belonged.
1540
01:24:26,226 --> 01:24:29,957
Sort of like a fun initiation.
1541
01:24:30,063 --> 01:24:32,088
I mean, didn't you all have that
when you were kids?
1542
01:24:32,199 --> 01:24:36,260
Yeah. I remember my first few days.
Got tied to the flagpole,
1543
01:24:36,369 --> 01:24:39,099
egged a few times.
At the end of it, it's all laughs.
1544
01:24:39,206 --> 01:24:41,766
Yeah, Wade, boys, you really
shouldn't have panicked like that.
1545
01:24:41,875 --> 01:24:43,433
Yeah, this boy's not dangerous,
1546
01:24:43,543 --> 01:24:46,205
not compared to a dirty,
homeless ex-soldier.
1547
01:24:46,313 --> 01:24:49,840
The more I think about it,
that guy, he could've really hurt me.
1548
01:24:49,950 --> 01:24:54,182
All right. I'm... I'm sorry, but your boys
brought a fugitive onto school property
1549
01:24:54,287 --> 01:24:56,346
threatening the safety of my students.
1550
01:24:56,456 --> 01:24:58,617
Now, I don't... I don't wanna point
any fingers here,
1551
01:24:58,725 --> 01:25:01,421
but I think we all know who's to blame.
1552
01:25:02,395 --> 01:25:03,296
You put my life in danger, guys.
1553
01:25:03,296 --> 01:25:04,695
You put my life in danger, guys.
1554
01:25:05,132 --> 01:25:08,260
It's worse than any hazing
that anybody could do.
1555
01:25:08,368 --> 01:25:10,233
I'm just lucky I was able
to defend myself.
1556
01:25:10,337 --> 01:25:11,804
Who knows what might have happened?
1557
01:25:11,905 --> 01:25:14,669
This guy's a veteran!
How many people might he have killed?
1558
01:25:14,774 --> 01:25:16,605
Did anybody see "To Catch a Predator"
on Dateline?
1559
01:25:16,710 --> 01:25:18,302
- I watched that!
- I saw that, yeah.
1560
01:25:18,411 --> 01:25:20,504
It's where they set the booby trap
for the pedophiles.
1561
01:25:20,614 --> 01:25:22,377
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- A grandfather, a priest...
1562
01:25:22,482 --> 01:25:24,416
I mean, could you imagine it?
You think you're on a date,
1563
01:25:24,518 --> 01:25:26,076
and then all of a sudden,
police are everywhere.
1564
01:25:26,186 --> 01:25:27,744
- Yeah.
- My God, this guy knows where we live.
1565
01:25:27,854 --> 01:25:28,821
- Yeah.
- Okay.
1566
01:25:28,922 --> 01:25:33,291
I think you'll be glad to know I gave
security camera footage of this Drillbit
1567
01:25:33,393 --> 01:25:36,123
to the police and they said
they'd be watching for him.
1568
01:25:36,229 --> 01:25:38,390
No, what the hell's the matter
with you guys?
1569
01:25:38,498 --> 01:25:40,932
Are you mentally defective
or something?
1570
01:25:41,034 --> 01:25:43,161
You got to understand,
Drillbit was around because
1571
01:25:43,270 --> 01:25:45,135
this psychopath over here
was gonna murder us!
1572
01:25:45,238 --> 01:25:47,536
I mean, Filkins is the real criminal!
1573
01:25:47,641 --> 01:25:48,938
Yes! He has a samurai sword
1574
01:25:49,042 --> 01:25:50,703
- he has used on his other victims!
- All right...
1575
01:25:55,749 --> 01:25:56,841
Sit down!
1576
01:25:58,518 --> 01:26:00,076
Sit down!
1577
01:26:00,654 --> 01:26:01,951
Thank you very much.
1578
01:26:02,055 --> 01:26:03,249
Now, Terry.
1579
01:26:04,157 --> 01:26:06,455
Is there any truth to this?
1580
01:26:07,327 --> 01:26:09,318
Oh, yeah. All of it.
1581
01:26:10,764 --> 01:26:14,962
I'm really a samurai warrior from
the 14th century sent to kill them.
1582
01:26:19,105 --> 01:26:20,538
He's cute.
1583
01:26:20,640 --> 01:26:23,507
Okay, I hope I speak for everyone here
1584
01:26:23,610 --> 01:26:27,011
in saying that I feel
this issue is resolved.
1585
01:26:27,113 --> 01:26:28,102
- Thank you. Okay, okay.
- All right?
1586
01:26:28,215 --> 01:26:29,807
Very good.
Thank you for coming in, folks.
1587
01:26:29,916 --> 01:26:31,816
- Thank you.
- All right, yeah.
1588
01:26:31,918 --> 01:26:33,977
- Hey, wasn't that fun?
- Hell, yeah.
1589
01:26:34,087 --> 01:26:35,452
- Oh, my goodness!
- Great.
1590
01:26:35,555 --> 01:26:36,522
- You feel better now, honey?
- Terry, honey.
1591
01:26:36,623 --> 01:26:38,056
I did not know you were all alone.
1592
01:26:38,158 --> 01:26:40,251
We want to have you over to the house
for dinner, okay?
1593
01:26:40,360 --> 01:26:43,796
- That would be wonderful!
- Wade could use more friends.
1594
01:26:50,737 --> 01:26:52,466
Give me one, please.
1595
01:26:56,243 --> 01:26:59,701
You're kind of a born loser. It's funny.
1596
01:27:00,413 --> 01:27:01,903
It's not funny.
1597
01:27:02,182 --> 01:27:03,774
It's funny to me.
1598
01:27:04,184 --> 01:27:06,982
Come on, don't jinx me. Don't jinx me.
1599
01:27:08,855 --> 01:27:11,881
500! Yes! Yes! I did it!
1600
01:27:11,992 --> 01:27:13,391
- I got it, man!
- Dude!
1601
01:27:13,493 --> 01:27:14,755
Look at that! Yes!
1602
01:27:14,861 --> 01:27:16,055
You got a ticket to Canada!
1603
01:27:16,162 --> 01:27:18,392
You better believe it! Come on, man!
1604
01:27:18,498 --> 01:27:20,728
Finally! Finally, I get one!
1605
01:27:20,867 --> 01:27:24,234
Come here, you!
This candy's on me! Put it down!
1606
01:27:24,537 --> 01:27:28,166
You got it! Well, maybe just get
one of them. Here. Here you go!
1607
01:27:41,288 --> 01:27:43,415
Okay, keep your eyes peeled.
1608
01:27:46,493 --> 01:27:49,291
- Do you see Filkins?
- No, but I see Brooke.
1609
01:27:49,763 --> 01:27:52,357
Gonna go for it. I'm gonna ask her out.
1610
01:27:53,166 --> 01:27:54,394
- Really?
- Yeah.
1611
01:27:54,801 --> 01:27:57,565
- You waited all this time. Why now?
- Why not?
1612
01:27:58,004 --> 01:28:00,438
My life sucks so badly,
even if she says no,
1613
01:28:00,540 --> 01:28:02,599
it's not like I'll have very far to fall.
1614
01:28:07,881 --> 01:28:09,075
I don't know.
1615
01:28:10,450 --> 01:28:13,078
- Hi.
- Hi.
1616
01:28:13,186 --> 01:28:15,586
Look, I don't know how to do this.
1617
01:28:16,222 --> 01:28:19,419
In fact, I've been wanting to do this
for a while. I just didn't know
1618
01:28:19,526 --> 01:28:21,118
when would be a good time. I don't...
1619
01:28:21,227 --> 01:28:25,425
I didn't know if it would ever be
a good time. I mean, if I'd ever think...
1620
01:28:28,768 --> 01:28:30,395
It's okay, Brooke.
1621
01:28:32,739 --> 01:28:35,970
Yo, bro, I swear to God
those ain't my sodas,
1622
01:28:36,076 --> 01:28:38,977
but if you wanted to, say, hire me
or something, like a bodyguard,
1623
01:28:39,079 --> 01:28:43,175
I think maybe I could dedicate my life
to finding the real culprit.
1624
01:28:45,719 --> 01:28:48,586
Wade, come on.
I'm okay with this, so let's just go.
1625
01:28:48,688 --> 01:28:50,588
What'd you say, ho?
1626
01:28:50,957 --> 01:28:52,515
Okay, you know what?
What is your problem?
1627
01:28:52,625 --> 01:28:54,616
Why don't you just leave them alone?
1628
01:28:54,728 --> 01:28:57,526
What are you gonna do, bro?
What are you gonna do?
1629
01:28:59,432 --> 01:29:03,300
You aren't gonna do anything,
because you don't have any balls.
1630
01:29:04,504 --> 01:29:06,836
- Leave him alone!
- It's just not in you.
1631
01:29:12,045 --> 01:29:14,275
You see? Look at that.
1632
01:29:15,248 --> 01:29:16,545
Sackless!
1633
01:29:21,321 --> 01:29:24,916
Why do you even waste my time?
You're pathetic.
1634
01:29:30,497 --> 01:29:32,226
You all right, Wade?
1635
01:29:32,632 --> 01:29:34,623
- Don't worry about that guy.
- He's just insecure inside.
1636
01:29:34,734 --> 01:29:37,100
- Get up. Let's get out of here.
- Wade?
1637
01:29:37,203 --> 01:29:38,693
Where are you going?
1638
01:29:38,805 --> 01:29:41,239
- T-Dog! Stop him!
- Fight! Fight!
1639
01:29:44,043 --> 01:29:45,032
Come on, Wade!
1640
01:29:45,145 --> 01:29:47,511
I'll kick the crap out of you right now.
You know why?
1641
01:29:47,614 --> 01:29:50,640
Half because
everyone is sick of your garbage
1642
01:29:50,750 --> 01:29:53,275
and half because
of what you said to Brooke!
1643
01:29:55,054 --> 01:29:56,885
Do you think I'm dumb?
1644
01:29:57,824 --> 01:29:59,951
Trying to trick me
into getting myself in trouble?
1645
01:30:00,059 --> 01:30:03,051
Fine. Then we'll beat your face in
somewhere else.
1646
01:30:03,163 --> 01:30:05,154
- Anywhere. Go ahead. You name it.
- Okay, good.
1647
01:30:05,265 --> 01:30:09,827
Everybody! Everybody! I'm gonna kick
their asses tonight at my house!
1648
01:30:10,236 --> 01:30:13,330
Everybody should come!
It's gonna be hilarious!
1649
01:30:13,640 --> 01:30:15,403
Ultimate Geek Fighting!
1650
01:30:15,742 --> 01:30:20,076
Once you step on my property,
you're freaking trespassing, brother,
1651
01:30:20,180 --> 01:30:21,943
and I can do anything I want.
1652
01:30:22,048 --> 01:30:23,879
You're nothing but a pathetic wimp,
1653
01:30:23,983 --> 01:30:27,111
and everyone's gonna know
by the end of tonight, brother!
1654
01:30:27,220 --> 01:30:28,915
And I will see you there!
1655
01:30:36,296 --> 01:30:38,025
What have I just done?
1656
01:30:38,364 --> 01:30:40,229
That was awesome, man.
1657
01:30:40,500 --> 01:30:44,027
- Me and Emmit are gonna back you up.
- Oh, now it's "me and Emmit."
1658
01:30:44,137 --> 01:30:46,833
You've never been nice to me, Ryan,
and I've only been kind to you.
1659
01:30:46,940 --> 01:30:49,170
And I've tried so hard
to make this friendship work,
1660
01:30:49,275 --> 01:30:52,642
but I am not going to die
for someone who won't die for me!
1661
01:30:52,745 --> 01:30:56,374
"Survival technique."
I renounce violence.
1662
01:30:56,850 --> 01:30:58,977
I have a future!
1663
01:31:00,119 --> 01:31:01,814
What do we do next?
1664
01:31:02,722 --> 01:31:05,282
Guess we'd better learn how to fight.
1665
01:31:06,860 --> 01:31:08,885
- Jump left, jump left.
- Come on, Blue.
1666
01:31:08,995 --> 01:31:10,326
- That's what I'm talking about!
- No, no, no, no.
1667
01:31:10,430 --> 01:31:11,988
- That's what I'm talking about!
- Come on!
1668
01:31:12,098 --> 01:31:13,292
Come on! Yes!
1669
01:31:13,433 --> 01:31:15,697
This PowerBar's really working.
1670
01:31:15,802 --> 01:31:17,360
I feel stronger.
1671
01:31:18,238 --> 01:31:19,569
I feel fatter.
1672
01:31:19,672 --> 01:31:21,469
Well, what do you want me to do?
You just want me to hit you?
1673
01:31:21,574 --> 01:31:23,804
Come on. Do me this one favor.
1674
01:31:26,012 --> 01:31:27,604
That was perfect!
1675
01:31:29,082 --> 01:31:32,142
All right. We need to learn
how to take a punch.
1676
01:31:32,485 --> 01:31:34,544
You ready? Let me go first.
1677
01:31:35,388 --> 01:31:36,980
- All right?
- Okay.
1678
01:31:50,270 --> 01:31:52,135
Block out the pain.
1679
01:31:52,238 --> 01:31:54,832
Remember what that douche bag
Drillbit taught us?
1680
01:31:54,941 --> 01:31:57,341
- Mind over pain!
- Okay.
1681
01:31:57,443 --> 01:32:00,241
All right. Hit me in the chest.
1682
01:32:02,982 --> 01:32:03,949
Jeez!
1683
01:32:05,785 --> 01:32:07,616
- Your knuckles are all bone!
- All right.
1684
01:32:07,720 --> 01:32:09,620
We get to call how hard
the other guy hits.
1685
01:32:09,722 --> 01:32:13,317
All right. Ten being the hardest,
how hard do you want it?
1686
01:32:13,426 --> 01:32:16,054
Five. In the back. In the back.
1687
01:32:20,667 --> 01:32:21,827
Oh, God!
1688
01:32:21,935 --> 01:32:25,598
Wonder what it feels like getting hit
in the middle of the forehead.
1689
01:32:28,374 --> 01:32:29,341
Jeez!
1690
01:32:31,210 --> 01:32:32,973
- All right, new rules!
- Okay.
1691
01:32:33,079 --> 01:32:34,341
I'm not gonna tell you
where I'm gonna hit you.
1692
01:32:34,447 --> 01:32:35,539
- No, I don't like that rule.
- No, it's good.
1693
01:32:35,648 --> 01:32:37,513
- No, it's not good.
- It's good. It simulates a real fight.
1694
01:32:37,617 --> 01:32:39,710
- Trust me.
- All right, fine.
1695
01:32:44,023 --> 01:32:45,320
I can't see this coming.
1696
01:32:45,425 --> 01:32:47,086
There's no way Wade can hurt me.
1697
01:32:49,629 --> 01:32:50,687
Not balls!
1698
01:32:51,798 --> 01:32:53,356
You hit me in the nuts!
1699
01:32:55,368 --> 01:32:58,496
Dear Mom, if you're reading this,
1700
01:32:59,339 --> 01:33:01,739
it's very possible that I'm dead.
1701
01:33:04,944 --> 01:33:09,005
If I don't survive, you should definitely
sue Emmit's family.
1702
01:33:09,382 --> 01:33:13,011
P.S. Sorry I let your silver platter
get stolen.
1703
01:33:13,219 --> 01:33:15,551
My raps and rhymes will become
more valuable now.
1704
01:33:15,655 --> 01:33:17,555
You're free to sell them
to Ghostface Killah.
1705
01:33:22,729 --> 01:33:25,254
Remember the plan.
Strike first and strike hard.
1706
01:33:25,365 --> 01:33:28,027
You go for the head. I'll go for the nuts.
1707
01:34:10,376 --> 01:34:13,243
It actually looks like a pretty cool party.
1708
01:34:16,149 --> 01:34:17,480
Oh! Hey, guys.
1709
01:34:17,617 --> 01:34:22,350
So, how does it feel to know
that death is just a few moments away?
1710
01:34:22,989 --> 01:34:25,457
- Where's Filkins?
- In the kitchen.
1711
01:34:28,394 --> 01:34:30,089
In case we don't make it,
1712
01:34:32,198 --> 01:34:34,564
- I don't want to have any regrets.
- Yeah.
1713
01:34:36,302 --> 01:34:37,360
Face!
1714
01:34:40,940 --> 01:34:43,101
I've already got the first hit
out of the way.
1715
01:34:43,209 --> 01:34:44,471
Let's get some.
1716
01:35:00,626 --> 01:35:02,787
Hey! Hey, hey. Everybody, everybody!
1717
01:35:03,129 --> 01:35:04,687
These kids actually came!
1718
01:35:04,797 --> 01:35:07,925
These are the Siamese queers
I've been telling you about!
1719
01:35:08,701 --> 01:35:11,363
They showed up!
They really are that dumb!
1720
01:35:11,738 --> 01:35:13,205
I hate when he calls me that.
1721
01:35:13,306 --> 01:35:16,002
So we're gonna have a good time!
Because they...
1722
01:35:24,684 --> 01:35:25,742
It worked.
1723
01:35:27,120 --> 01:35:29,111
- It's over!
- That was easy.
1724
01:35:29,288 --> 01:35:31,381
- We did it, we did it!
- We did.
1725
01:35:31,491 --> 01:35:35,621
Everybody, from ninth grade
to twelfth grade,
1726
01:35:35,862 --> 01:35:38,695
I promise you,
his reign of tyranny is over!
1727
01:35:39,365 --> 01:35:42,698
I proclaim it!
He will never bother us again!
1728
01:35:44,737 --> 01:35:46,204
And he's getting up!
1729
01:35:47,940 --> 01:35:49,430
You're dead.
1730
01:35:49,542 --> 01:35:51,203
And I'm in big trouble!
1731
01:36:05,258 --> 01:36:08,750
Catch me off guard?
You broke my stairs.
1732
01:36:09,395 --> 01:36:11,454
My father loved those stairs!
1733
01:36:16,269 --> 01:36:17,668
You blocking out the pain?
1734
01:36:17,770 --> 01:36:20,034
I thought I was for a second,
but I'm totally not.
1735
01:36:20,139 --> 01:36:21,766
You want to play?
1736
01:36:22,608 --> 01:36:23,700
Let's play.
1737
01:36:40,226 --> 01:36:43,354
Get up, get up, get up! Come on, Ryan.
1738
01:36:44,497 --> 01:36:48,365
You're like, super-hot.
I'm never gonna leave you.
1739
01:36:48,467 --> 01:36:51,197
- Ronnie! You're missing out.
- Okay.
1740
01:36:52,471 --> 01:36:53,768
Hey, boys!
1741
01:36:58,010 --> 01:37:00,308
Yo, Jay, give me some murder music.
1742
01:37:01,314 --> 01:37:04,147
This just gets better and better.
1743
01:37:11,390 --> 01:37:12,789
All right!
1744
01:37:14,794 --> 01:37:16,728
Hey, yo, yo. Back off.
1745
01:37:16,863 --> 01:37:18,990
I want to fight both these bitches.
1746
01:37:19,232 --> 01:37:23,225
They're yours, Filk!
They're yours, baby! Here we go.
1747
01:37:23,336 --> 01:37:25,201
- You're the bitch!
- Huh?
1748
01:37:30,509 --> 01:37:31,942
That's right!
1749
01:37:33,512 --> 01:37:34,604
What the...
1750
01:37:36,716 --> 01:37:39,082
- Emmit's got game!
- Oh, yeah!
1751
01:37:42,154 --> 01:37:44,247
- Good one, Ron!
- Come on!
1752
01:37:46,025 --> 01:37:47,959
Bear hug!
1753
01:37:48,060 --> 01:37:49,288
- Come on!
- Oh!
1754
01:37:59,839 --> 01:38:03,172
I have reach! I have reach!
1755
01:38:05,177 --> 01:38:08,613
Come on, Wade!
You're like Rocky! Get back out there!
1756
01:38:10,383 --> 01:38:14,114
- I can't breathe! I can't breathe!
- You're not gonna hurt me anymore?
1757
01:38:14,387 --> 01:38:17,515
I won't hurt you! You should let go!
I can't breathe, Ryan, can't breathe!
1758
01:38:17,623 --> 01:38:21,081
I'll let you go.
Not gonna hurt me anymore, are...
1759
01:38:22,662 --> 01:38:25,495
- I have reach!
- No! Wade!
1760
01:38:28,000 --> 01:38:29,865
Hey! Hey, there. Hey...
1761
01:38:31,704 --> 01:38:33,103
- Didn't hurt!
- Really?
1762
01:38:33,205 --> 01:38:34,297
Yeah.
1763
01:38:34,507 --> 01:38:36,202
Okay, that did.
1764
01:38:38,811 --> 01:38:40,369
Let that kid go.
1765
01:38:45,284 --> 01:38:48,447
Private Drillbit Taylor reporting for duty!
1766
01:38:48,988 --> 01:38:50,922
- Hoo-rah.
- You came back?
1767
01:38:51,090 --> 01:38:54,059
- Yeah.
- What the hell are you even doing here?
1768
01:38:54,760 --> 01:38:56,853
What, you need more money
from these geeks?
1769
01:38:56,963 --> 01:38:59,864
No. But this fight is over!
1770
01:39:00,533 --> 01:39:02,763
You hear me? Abierto!
1771
01:39:05,071 --> 01:39:06,038
Done.
1772
01:39:07,740 --> 01:39:10,709
It's over, people! Pack it up! Go home!
1773
01:39:10,977 --> 01:39:16,643
Look. You're a young man. You got...
You got a crazy look in your eye.
1774
01:39:18,050 --> 01:39:20,143
And it's really freaking me out right now.
1775
01:39:24,490 --> 01:39:25,684
Nice punch.
1776
01:39:26,625 --> 01:39:30,026
I try to be reasonable,
but I got to tell you,
1777
01:39:30,262 --> 01:39:35,564
these boys hired me as their bodyguard
and I will protect them!
1778
01:39:40,106 --> 01:39:41,596
Want to hear something crazy?
1779
01:39:41,707 --> 01:39:44,175
Deep inside you,
I know there's a good kid.
1780
01:39:46,879 --> 01:39:50,371
God damn it,
I'm sick of getting hit by this kid.
1781
01:39:50,583 --> 01:39:52,210
Come on, Drillbit. Kick his ass.
1782
01:39:52,318 --> 01:39:56,220
- I can't! He's a minor!
- No, he's not. He's 18.
1783
01:39:57,223 --> 01:39:59,123
You're 18?
1784
01:40:05,197 --> 01:40:06,892
That's it.
1785
01:40:16,475 --> 01:40:17,442
Drillbit!
1786
01:40:19,145 --> 01:40:20,407
How old are you?
1787
01:40:20,513 --> 01:40:23,277
Okay! All right, I'm 17. I'm a minor.
1788
01:40:23,382 --> 01:40:24,474
- My mom drives me to school.
- Come on!
1789
01:40:24,583 --> 01:40:25,845
I swear to God!
1790
01:40:26,352 --> 01:40:27,649
That was awesome.
1791
01:40:27,753 --> 01:40:30,244
Man, Drillbit, you're badass.
1792
01:40:30,890 --> 01:40:33,051
I don't think I could do that again.
1793
01:40:33,325 --> 01:40:35,122
It's weird. I guess it's like
1794
01:40:35,227 --> 01:40:38,219
when a mother
lifts an automobile off a child.
1795
01:40:38,330 --> 01:40:39,991
- Yeah.
- You just get that burst of strength.
1796
01:40:40,099 --> 01:40:41,657
That's the only way I can explain it.
1797
01:40:41,767 --> 01:40:44,668
Adrenaline. That's the word for it.
1798
01:40:44,770 --> 01:40:48,001
My hands are...
My hands are still shaking.
1799
01:40:48,607 --> 01:40:51,508
- Thanks for coming back.
- You kidding me? I had to do it.
1800
01:40:51,610 --> 01:40:53,544
I'm not gonna go AWOL on you boys.
1801
01:40:53,646 --> 01:40:55,443
I made that mistake one...
1802
01:40:55,681 --> 01:40:59,447
Crap on a shit sandwich!
I'm out of here, boys! Adi�s!
1803
01:41:00,319 --> 01:41:01,547
Bye, Drillbit!
1804
01:41:01,787 --> 01:41:02,845
Hey, fags!
1805
01:41:04,957 --> 01:41:06,652
This ain't over!
1806
01:41:17,636 --> 01:41:19,501
- He feels no pain.
- Whoa.
1807
01:41:23,342 --> 01:41:24,741
Was that my pinky?
1808
01:41:28,547 --> 01:41:31,015
- Are you okay?
- My finger!
1809
01:41:31,117 --> 01:41:32,084
You okay?
1810
01:41:32,218 --> 01:41:33,879
- I'm so sorry.
- Why did I catch a sword?
1811
01:41:33,986 --> 01:41:35,453
- I lost it. No, no.
- Let me see it. Let me see it.
1812
01:41:35,554 --> 01:41:38,990
- I lost it.
- Let me see it. Let me see it.
1813
01:41:39,125 --> 01:41:40,922
No, it's okay. I'm blocking the pain.
1814
01:41:41,026 --> 01:41:43,426
I can't block this pain.
Get some ice for me.
1815
01:41:43,529 --> 01:41:44,962
It's not bad. Here, help me find it
1816
01:41:45,064 --> 01:41:46,292
- before the ants get it.
- Where'd you last see it?
1817
01:41:46,398 --> 01:41:48,298
- Look in the grass.
- My dad, yo, just don't tell my dad!
1818
01:41:48,400 --> 01:41:49,560
Help me, guys!
Find it before a rat gets it!
1819
01:41:49,668 --> 01:41:50,896
See it? Look over there.
1820
01:41:51,003 --> 01:41:52,197
- Is that it?
- Where?
1821
01:41:52,304 --> 01:41:54,101
Hey, guys, I found it!
1822
01:41:56,242 --> 01:41:57,504
No!
1823
01:41:58,444 --> 01:41:59,570
We found it.
1824
01:42:01,313 --> 01:42:02,405
Get me some ice.
1825
01:42:02,515 --> 01:42:03,115
- Ice!
- Ice!
1826
01:42:03,115 --> 01:42:03,513
- Ice!
- Ice!
1827
01:42:03,616 --> 01:42:04,674
Margarita all right?
1828
01:42:04,783 --> 01:42:06,512
Oh, my God.
1829
01:42:06,619 --> 01:42:07,677
Bro!
1830
01:42:07,786 --> 01:42:09,219
Come on, buddy.
We got to get you to a hospital.
1831
01:42:09,321 --> 01:42:11,653
- All right, let's go.
- Let's go.
1832
01:42:11,757 --> 01:42:13,486
It's gonna be okay.
1833
01:42:13,592 --> 01:42:16,891
Congratulations, boys.
You just caught the great Bob Taylor.
1834
01:42:16,996 --> 01:42:19,123
Fantastic. No alcohol in the car, sir.
1835
01:42:19,231 --> 01:42:21,893
Oh, yeah.
Well, let me get the finger out.
1836
01:42:25,070 --> 01:42:26,264
Hoo-rah.
1837
01:42:28,841 --> 01:42:31,071
- Yo, dudes, that was awesome!
- Thanks, man.
1838
01:42:31,177 --> 01:42:33,236
Man, you have no idea how long kids
have been waiting to do that.
1839
01:42:33,345 --> 01:42:34,835
- Thanks.
- Dude, this is gonna be blogged,
1840
01:42:34,947 --> 01:42:35,914
for sure!
1841
01:42:36,015 --> 01:42:38,711
I am so glad
I did not go to my sister's birthday party!
1842
01:42:39,652 --> 01:42:40,641
Hey.
1843
01:42:40,753 --> 01:42:42,277
He was amazing.
1844
01:42:42,922 --> 01:42:44,685
You know,
Terry's just always been crazy.
1845
01:42:44,790 --> 01:42:46,849
You know, he's threatened me
with his sword all the time.
1846
01:42:46,959 --> 01:42:48,756
I'm just tired of being scared, you know?
1847
01:42:48,861 --> 01:42:51,352
- Hey, are you okay?
- Yeah.
1848
01:42:54,300 --> 01:42:58,100
When the adrenaline rush passes,
I'm gonna be in a lot more pain.
1849
01:42:59,805 --> 01:43:02,672
I don't want you to think I'm the kind of
guy who tries to impress girls
1850
01:43:02,775 --> 01:43:05,801
with violence,
but that was kind of for you.
1851
01:43:07,479 --> 01:43:10,107
That was very brave of you.
1852
01:43:20,259 --> 01:43:23,456
You know, Emmit,
I can't believe I'm saying this...
1853
01:43:24,964 --> 01:43:29,060
You, my friend, are one crazy
son of a bitch, you know that?
1854
01:43:29,168 --> 01:43:31,193
You have no idea how scared I was.
1855
01:43:31,303 --> 01:43:34,568
All right. Now, let's go get
something to eat. I'm starving.
1856
01:43:38,444 --> 01:43:41,607
Dear Wade, Ryan and little, tiny Emmit.
1857
01:43:41,714 --> 01:43:44,114
Thanks for sending the Cap'n Crunch.
1858
01:43:44,283 --> 01:43:46,274
Suddenly, I'm very popular in here.
1859
01:43:46,385 --> 01:43:50,947
Hey, Bob. Give me some of that Cap'n
Crunch or I'll stab you in the shower.
1860
01:43:53,058 --> 01:43:54,252
Just kidding.
1861
01:43:56,762 --> 01:43:59,390
I was glad to read
in your last correspondence
1862
01:43:59,498 --> 01:44:02,934
that Filkins was shipped off
back to Hong Kong
1863
01:44:03,035 --> 01:44:06,664
to be with his parents for breaking
so many underage drinking laws.
1864
01:44:07,206 --> 01:44:10,642
Now maybe high school can be
what you want it to be
1865
01:44:10,743 --> 01:44:12,643
- instead of sucking rat nads.
- Oh, yeah.
1866
01:44:13,812 --> 01:44:14,904
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
1867
01:44:15,581 --> 01:44:18,948
As for me, every time I look
at where my pinky used to be,
1868
01:44:19,184 --> 01:44:22,153
I think of you boys
and our battles together.
1869
01:44:22,588 --> 01:44:23,953
It's kind of cool.
1870
01:44:24,390 --> 01:44:26,483
Luckily, they have
a work release program,
1871
01:44:26,592 --> 01:44:28,890
and they say I should
be able to land a job,
1872
01:44:28,994 --> 01:44:30,825
which excites me a great deal.
1873
01:44:30,929 --> 01:44:33,227
And speaking of exciting me
a great deal,
1874
01:44:33,332 --> 01:44:35,630
Miss Zachey and I
have been in contact.
1875
01:44:35,768 --> 01:44:39,602
I don't know why women dig
guys in prison, but they really do.
1876
01:44:39,705 --> 01:44:43,607
On top of that, all I can say is,
I miss you guys
1877
01:44:43,709 --> 01:44:45,472
and will see you when I get out.
1878
01:44:45,577 --> 01:44:49,411
Which, thanks to the currently lenient
nature of the United States Army
1879
01:44:49,515 --> 01:44:52,143
deserting laws is in two days from now,
1880
01:44:52,284 --> 01:44:55,515
officially satisfying
my three-week sentence.
1881
01:44:55,954 --> 01:44:58,149
- Your brother, Bob Taylor.
- See you, Drillbit.
1882
01:44:58,257 --> 01:45:01,055
- AKA Drillbit.
- Later, bro.
1883
01:45:01,293 --> 01:45:04,353
AKA, Alamo Taylor.
1884
01:45:04,897 --> 01:45:07,263
I still like the sound of that.
1885
01:45:10,135 --> 01:45:11,932
There you are!
1886
01:45:13,072 --> 01:45:14,562
- Drillbit!
- Come on.
1887
01:45:14,673 --> 01:45:15,970
- Oh, my God.
- There he is.
1888
01:45:16,075 --> 01:45:17,872
Come on, get in here!
Come here! Fall in!
1889
01:45:17,976 --> 01:45:20,274
- He's a free man!
- Give me a hug!
1890
01:45:20,412 --> 01:45:22,243
Give me a hug. Yeah.
1891
01:45:22,581 --> 01:45:25,015
Well, that's gonna keep me smiling
all day, huh?
1892
01:45:25,117 --> 01:45:26,607
Yeah, that's my buddy, Drillbit.
1893
01:45:26,719 --> 01:45:28,277
He's a cool guy.
We're in a fight right now.
1894
01:45:28,387 --> 01:45:28,654
This has been the longest
three weeks of my life.
1895
01:45:28,654 --> 01:45:29,848
This has been the longest
three weeks of my life.
1896
01:45:29,955 --> 01:45:31,320
I missed you, too.
1897
01:45:32,024 --> 01:45:33,821
- Feels good.
- You gonna shake the jail?
1898
01:45:33,926 --> 01:45:35,826
- It wasn't that bad.
- Come on, let's go.
1899
01:45:35,928 --> 01:45:38,624
You know, the guy in the next cell taught
me some Spanish.
1900
01:45:38,731 --> 01:45:41,996
Did you know abierto means "open"?
1901
01:49:35,267 --> 01:49:37,633
Help! I'm bleeding!
1902
01:49:38,904 --> 01:49:41,930
Come here, soldier.
Let me take a look at that.
1903
01:49:42,407 --> 01:49:44,341
Come here. Jump up there.
1904
01:49:44,443 --> 01:49:49,278
You got a little bloody nose.
Tilt your head back, 45-degree angle.
1905
01:49:50,282 --> 01:49:52,807
- What happened?
- Somebody punched me.
1906
01:49:54,319 --> 01:49:59,814
Tell me his name. Names.
It'll never happen again.