1
00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:39,400
- I swear, if'n you don't
learn to share this honey...
2
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:41,600
I'm gonna give you a real whuppin:
3
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:45,000
Now go on!
4
00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:02,400
- Is the doctor in?
- No doubt about it.
5
00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:06,500
- What's ailin' ya, Fat Elmer?
- I et too much cheese.
6
00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:08,500
Now I can't burp.
7
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,900
Can ya fix me, Granny?
8
00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:05,100
Dang.
9
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:27,300
Before I sign anything...
10
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,900
I want to know how much money
we're talkin' about.
11
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,900
Mr. Clampett, there's more petroleum
in your swamp...
12
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,700
than there is in all of Kuwait.
13
00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:37,000
- That bad, huh?
- Mr. Clampett...
14
00:04:37,100 --> 00:04:42,500
you are sitting on the biggest
domestic oil strike in history.
15
00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:46,500
And when you sign these contracts,
we're going to pay you one billion dollars.
16
00:04:49,100 --> 00:04:52,000
Do you have anybody
who can advise you on these contracts?
17
00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:56,900
Cousin jethro's a-comin'tomorrow night
for Sunday supper, Pa.
18
00:04:57,000 --> 00:05:00,200
He's the one with the learnin'.
He went to school at Oxford.
19
00:05:14,100 --> 00:05:16,100
- Jethro.
- Yes, Ma?
20
00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,500
Did you fix those bare-as-bones brakes
like I told you?
21
00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:21,500
Of course.
I pulled 'em off yesterday.
22
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:24,700
The new ones are
comin' in the mail next week.
23
00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:42,000
- Jethro!
- Howdy, Granny.
24
00:05:42,100 --> 00:05:45,600
Oh! You dadblamed
simpleminded yahoo!
25
00:05:45,700 --> 00:05:49,200
Your crack-bucket head's
emptier than last year's bird's nest.
26
00:05:49,300 --> 00:05:52,000
If your head was filled with dynamite...
27
00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:54,000
- Ow! Ow!
- You wouldn't know how to blow your nose!
28
00:05:54,100 --> 00:05:56,100
- You...
- Ow!
29
00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,300
- Granny! Ow! Granny!
- Just get out of my sight!
30
00:06:01,100 --> 00:06:02,900
Now, jedediah...
31
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,400
you're fixin' to be the richest man
in this here county.
32
00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:10,900
Look at how you live. Why, your land's
overrun with snakes and skunks.
33
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:14,300
You got no TV, no telephone and no radio.
34
00:06:16,300 --> 00:06:19,900
You're right, Pearl.
We are a-livin'in paradise.
35
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:23,500
No, Jed!
Paradise is someplace like...
36
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,500
Beverly Hills, Californy.
37
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:28,100
- They got swimmin'pools.
- Mm-hmm.
38
00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:30,500
- And movie stars.
- And smog.
39
00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:33,600
What's a smog?
40
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:42,000
I reckon it's a small hog.
41
00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:46,100
Now, if you're not gonna think about yourself,
think about your daughter.
42
00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:49,500
You need to get remarried, jed,
and she needs a ma...
43
00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:51,800
someone to teach her
womanly ways.
44
00:06:51,900 --> 00:06:56,500
- She's runnin'wild, jed.
She's no different than a boy.
45
00:06:56,600 --> 00:07:00,700
Imagine that. Elly May
wearin'fancy dresses...
46
00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:03,600
and actin' ladylike!
47
00:07:03,700 --> 00:07:07,700
Well, that don't sound like much fun.
48
00:07:10,300 --> 00:07:14,500
Beverly Hills.
49
00:07:16,700 --> 00:07:18,800
Listen to what I'm sayin: jed.
50
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,400
It would be the best thing for y'all.
51
00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:25,000
Just pack up all your belongin's
and move on out there.
52
00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:29,000
Jethro could drive you out
in his truck.
53
00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:32,900
I ain't drivin' in no movin' vehicle
with no dunderhead.
54
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,100
I ain't no dunderhead.
55
00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:40,400
- Come on! Put me down!
- Set him down.
56
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:47,400
- See what I mean?
- Who are you, mister?
57
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:50,700
Ozark Mountain Oil. Mr. Briggs sent me
to see if you'd signed the contract.
58
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,900
- Oh, my.
- Elly May Clampett.
59
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:56,600
Well, that's it.
60
00:07:56,700 --> 00:07:58,700
I've made my decision.
61
00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:02,900
For the good
of this here family...
62
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:05,100
I'm a-movin' us to Beverly Hills.
63
00:08:08,100 --> 00:08:12,300
Now, don't you worry, Elly May.
64
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:16,600
- We gonna take good care of your critters for ya.
- Okay, Sam. I know you will.
65
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:22,900
Oh, Ma!
66
00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:31,200
What's all this I hear about you
not wantin' to go to Californy?
67
00:08:31,300 --> 00:08:33,500
I like it here.
Say what you will...
68
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,800
but there ain't nothin' you can do
to get me off of this rockin' chair.
69
00:08:38,900 --> 00:08:42,000
- I ain't goin' nowheres! Cut me loose!
- It's a long ride to Californy.
70
00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:45,100
Jedediah Clampett, I'm gonna skin you alive!
71
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:47,800
Hush up, Granny.
72
00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:50,000
Get goin', boy,
before she breaks loose.
73
00:08:50,100 --> 00:08:52,000
I ain't a-goin:!
74
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,400
Watch your head, Granny.
75
00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:36,400
There's so many people
in this here town.
76
00:09:36,500 --> 00:09:39,800
Goin' to take a long time to meet everybody.
77
00:09:39,900 --> 00:09:42,800
Hey! Nice wheels, buddy!
78
00:09:42,900 --> 00:09:48,200
- Jethro, why do you think
that feller's pointin' at us?
79
00:09:48,300 --> 00:09:51,500
I reckon that's the way
they wave "howdy" in Californy.
80
00:09:56,300 --> 00:09:58,700
- Has, uh...
- Uh.! Excuse us.!
81
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:00,800
Has escrow closed
on the Clampett estate?
82
00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:04,300
Yes, chief. With an offer
of 22 million in cash, it closed swiftly.
83
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,300
And I must say,
it is inspirational...
84
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:09,200
how you happened to find a place
for the Clampetts right next-door to your own.
85
00:10:09,300 --> 00:10:11,200
Hathaway, the people
who lived there...
86
00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:13,900
were my best friends and neighbors
for over 20 years.
87
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,900
It's a shame they had
to file for bankruptcy.
88
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:21,200
Yeah. I just hope my call to the I.R.S.
didn't have anything to do with it. Well.
89
00:10:26,700 --> 00:10:30,900
- Now, um, what time does their fight arrive?
- That's just it, chief.
90
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:33,100
- They're driving.
- Driving?
91
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,800
From Arkansas?
92
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,200
I know it makes no sense whatsoever.
93
00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:39,600
Not to you, perhaps.
94
00:10:39,700 --> 00:10:41,900
But to a man with vision,
like myself...
95
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:46,400
- That is a sign of daring, self-confidence, vigor.
- Of course, chief.
96
00:10:50,100 --> 00:10:52,400
Hmm. Doesn't he look busy at work.
97
00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:54,600
Tyler.
98
00:10:54,700 --> 00:10:57,900
- Would you step in here for a moment, please.
- Oh!
99
00:11:00,500 --> 00:11:03,800
- Geez.
- It's an earthquake.!
100
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:08,900
Oh.
101
00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:25,700
- You wanted to consult with me?
- Sit down, Tyler. Relax.
102
00:11:27,700 --> 00:11:30,800
I have heard that you are quite excited
about the arrival of the Clampetts.
103
00:11:30,900 --> 00:11:33,600
I think that you and I,
together...
104
00:11:33,700 --> 00:11:37,800
can fully exploit the potential
of the Clampett financial portfolio.
105
00:11:37,900 --> 00:11:40,400
Hmm.
106
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:43,800
You and I. The two of us.
107
00:11:43,900 --> 00:11:46,900
I've already taken the liberty of drawing up
the power of attorney papers.
108
00:11:47,100 --> 00:11:50,700
- Have you now?
- So I can write checks, arrange investments...
109
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:52,900
make international transactions.
110
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,600
- Really work the Clampett account.
- Hmm.
111
00:11:55,700 --> 00:11:57,300
We'll be quite the team, sir.
112
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,500
Mmm.
113
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:04,300
Tyler, you will personally
rescind, shred and burn...
114
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:07,300
every paper you have drawn up
with regard to the Clampett account.
115
00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:12,400
- I'll be handling that account personally.
- Duly noted.
116
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:14,700
And nice kick, sir.
117
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:16,800
Took me completely by surprise.
118
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:21,200
Tyler.
119
00:12:21,300 --> 00:12:24,900
- The Clampetts will not be badgered.
- Sir?
120
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,700
They are not your common
garden-variety millionaires.
121
00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:31,700
They are, in fact, billionaires.
122
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:36,200
By definition, people of,
uh, discrimination...
123
00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:39,600
discernment, great refinement.
124
00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:44,700
Boy, howdy.!
125
00:12:45,900 --> 00:12:48,600
Hey! Jethro, we's supposed
to go thataway.
126
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:02,500
Hey! You cut us off, you bunch of nothin's!
127
00:13:06,300 --> 00:13:08,900
That's real nice, son.
128
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,900
This here's what I carry.
129
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:14,500
Okay. Go! Go, go!
130
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,100
Margaret!
131
00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:25,500
Morgan, come in here
a minute, please.
132
00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:28,900
Hi. I'm Doug Llewelyn, and welcome
to the People's Court.
133
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,400
Where is your mother?
134
00:13:31,500 --> 00:13:33,500
She's changing.
135
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:36,000
That would be
too much to hope for.
136
00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:39,200
- Oh.
- Milburn, I'm sorry. I have to cancel our lunch.
137
00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:42,400
- What?
- I have to spend more quality time with Babette.
138
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:47,800
Margaret, dear, we are trying to do more things
together... put the spark back, remember?
139
00:13:47,900 --> 00:13:50,200
You claim the defendant
has your dog?
140
00:13:50,300 --> 00:13:52,200
- Um, well, actually...
- Yes or no?
141
00:13:52,300 --> 00:13:54,900
- Yes, we do. - Morgan.
Morgan. - It's my dog.
142
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:58,200
- It's your dog?
- Yes. I raised this dog from a pup, and due to...
143
00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:03,800
Morgan, I have a little job for you.
144
00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:07,800
- Ajob?
- Yes. J.D. Clampett has a daughter your age.
145
00:14:07,900 --> 00:14:10,000
Now, she's goin'
to high school with you.
146
00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:12,000
I want you
to show her around.
147
00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:14,800
- Just be her friend.
- Oh, man.
148
00:14:14,900 --> 00:14:17,400
You wanna pay me
to hang out with her?
149
00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:20,700
She must be a major bowwow.
150
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:22,800
Son.
151
00:14:22,900 --> 00:14:24,900
Morgan.
152
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,300
Close your eyes.
153
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:29,700
Close your eyes.
154
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:31,800
Now picture this.
155
00:14:31,900 --> 00:14:33,800
I cut off your allowance...
156
00:14:33,900 --> 00:14:35,800
Cancel your credit cards...
157
00:14:35,900 --> 00:14:38,000
And delete you from my will.
158
00:14:38,100 --> 00:14:41,100
Now, how do you see
your future?
159
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:43,900
Grilling frozen cow parts
at Burger King?
160
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:49,100
And people say you're stupid.
161
00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:51,500
Monday morning,
first period, 8:00 a. M...
162
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,800
she'll be like the little sister
Mom thought would ruin her figure.
163
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:03,000
- The dog will go to the plaintiff,
Rusty.
164
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:27,100
Honey, I'm home.
165
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:30,800
Why don't you come here and give your little
embezzling cowboy a ride around the bungalow.
166
00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:33,500
- No.
- Why not?
167
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:37,800
'Cause I'm still living in this dump when I should
be living in a mansion in Beverly Hills.
168
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,200
Laura, sweetheart.
169
00:15:40,300 --> 00:15:43,500
Bungalows 3A, 3B and 3C
are in Los Angeles.
170
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:47,100
We live in 3G
which, technically, is in Beverly Hills.
171
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:49,000
You're all talk, Tyler.
172
00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:51,200
You said we'd have
enough money this month...
173
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:53,800
to buy me that little
baby sealskin coat.
174
00:15:53,900 --> 00:15:57,200
- We will.
- Promises, promises.
175
00:15:57,300 --> 00:15:59,200
Sweetie, we will.
176
00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:02,700
J.D. Clampett, the billionaire,
just opened up an account at the bank.
177
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:04,900
Who is this Clampett guy?
178
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,500
If he's so rich, how come
I've never heard of him?
179
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:11,300
Baby cakes, this guy's got more money
than he knows what to do with.
180
00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:14,500
Now, that's a problem
I think we can help him with.
181
00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:22,000
Stop the car, Jethro!
182
00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:24,000
They's a fresh kill in the road.
183
00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:26,200
- Can't just leave it there.
- You're right, Granny.
184
00:16:26,300 --> 00:16:28,900
Roadkill stew sounds
mighty good right now.
185
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:35,000
Oh, no, you don't, you old coot! I seen it first!
186
00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:37,600
- Milburn, call Westec Security.
- Well, I...
187
00:16:37,700 --> 00:16:39,700
I'm sure there's enough for us all.
188
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:42,600
Eww! How revolting.
189
00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:45,700
Easy now, Granny.
They're probablyjust bein'neighborly...
190
00:16:45,900 --> 00:16:48,800
like them nice folks we met
on that extry-wide road.
191
00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:51,200
Well, let's give 'em
a Californy howdy.
192
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,200
- Howdy, y'all.!
- Howdy.!
193
00:16:55,300 --> 00:16:58,200
Milburn!
194
00:16:58,300 --> 00:17:00,300
Did you fip me off?
195
00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:39,200
You reckon we're at
the wrong spot, UncleJed?
196
00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:42,200
Could be. Don't know.
197
00:17:42,300 --> 00:17:44,900
It's the right address, Pa.
198
00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:22,000
Whee doggies!
199
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:30,300
The whole place looks brand-new.
200
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:34,900
Hey, UncleJed, there's
a whole 'nother house up here.
201
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:42,600
This is a big ol'house.
202
00:18:42,700 --> 00:18:45,200
Why do you reckon
they got two sets of steps?
203
00:18:45,300 --> 00:18:47,400
That's easy.
204
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:49,900
One's for goin' up.
The other's for goin' down.
205
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,100
Oh.
206
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:57,700
What a pretty critter.
207
00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,200
Hello, police?
This is Miss Jane Hathaway.
208
00:19:00,300 --> 00:19:02,300
I wish to report
the unlawful entry...
209
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:05,000
of a gang of armed and dangerous
hooligans at the Clampett estate.
210
00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:07,900
518 Crestview Drive.
211
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:12,700
- I need you here code three,
and I will be timing you.
212
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:15,700
I think you got you
a new friend, Duke.
213
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,600
Cease and desist.!
Everyone.!
214
00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:23,500
If I were you, sir,
I would yield, submit and capitulate.
215
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:27,800
What are you desperadoes
doing here?
216
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:31,600
- Well, it's a mighty long story.
- But he don't mind tellin' it.
217
00:19:31,700 --> 00:19:35,400
- Pa was a-huntin' one day with old Duke.
- Duke spotted this jackrabbit.
218
00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:39,100
- So I throws up my gun, and I takes my aim...
- Don't shoot!
219
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:41,600
Pardon, ma'am?
220
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:48,500
Two minutes and 46 seconds.
221
00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:54,100
Go.! Go.! Go.!
222
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,000
I need three men
over there on the south side.!
223
00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:04,100
Attention, inside.!
You're surrounded.!
224
00:20:04,300 --> 00:20:07,000
Drop your weapons
and file out one at a time.!
225
00:20:07,100 --> 00:20:10,700
- Don't shoot! Oh! They've taken me hostage!
- Attention, inside.!
226
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:14,200
Drop your weapons
and file out one at a time!
227
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,400
This is the Beverly Hills
Police Department.
228
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:18,400
Told you this warn't no house.
229
00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:22,100
- You heard him. It's the police department.
- This is your last warning.!
230
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:25,100
All right!
Fire one in!
231
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,800
Look.
232
00:20:28,900 --> 00:20:30,600
They's a-playin' kick the can.
233
00:20:45,100 --> 00:20:47,100
Move in!
234
00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:53,600
I knew we shouldn't have never left home.
I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!
235
00:20:53,700 --> 00:20:56,700
Right this way.
We've I.D. 'd them all.
236
00:20:56,800 --> 00:21:00,200
- Excellent.
- We want the wheels of justice to spin quickly.
237
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:02,900
These criminals must be
prosecuted and incarcerated...
238
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,900
before our client finds out
what happened.
239
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,000
Exactly.
240
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:10,400
The reputation of Milburn Drysdale is at stake.
241
00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:13,100
Would everyone turn
to the right, please.
242
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:17,900
Huh.! Hmm.! Pathetic.
243
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:21,200
Now we have, starting on the left,
a Jedediah Clampett.
244
00:21:21,300 --> 00:21:23,300
- Then, next to him, his daughter, Elly May.
- Huh?
245
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:27,400
And a Daisy Mae Moses, a. k. a. "Granny. "
246
00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:30,200
And a nephew, jethro Bodine.
247
00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:35,700
And some woman involved in a drive-by slapping.
248
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,500
Oh, chief. Chief. Are you okay?
249
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,800
Chief. Quickly! Say something!
250
00:21:44,900 --> 00:21:47,600
Say something!
251
00:21:47,700 --> 00:21:52,400
You're fired!
252
00:21:52,500 --> 00:21:56,300
Mr. Clampett, sir!
I am deeply sorry...
253
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:59,300
for any embarrassment
my former assistant might have caused you.
254
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,400
- L-I...
- Yes, sir. L-I...
255
00:22:02,500 --> 00:22:05,100
I- I humbly apologize
for my egregious error.
256
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:07,300
And rest assured
that it will never happen again...
257
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:09,400
as I am no longer
in the employ of the bank.
258
00:22:09,500 --> 00:22:12,800
Chief, Mr. Drysdale,
I will clean out my desk at once.
259
00:22:14,900 --> 00:22:18,100
Oh, dear.! Oh, please,
don't trouble yourselves.
260
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,200
Please, gentlemen. Oh. Oh, thank you.
Don't trouble yourselves.
261
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:23,400
Oh, I'm... Thank you. Thank you so much.
Oh, thank... No.
262
00:22:25,300 --> 00:22:28,000
So, then everything is fine?
263
00:22:28,100 --> 00:22:31,900
Mr. Clampett, please don't
take your money from my bank.
264
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:36,300
I'll do anything you want.
I'll contribute to charities, anything.
265
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:38,800
I'll eat mud.
266
00:22:38,900 --> 00:22:40,900
That won't be necessary.
267
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:44,800
All I want is for this here lady
to watch over my affairs.
268
00:22:44,900 --> 00:22:48,700
Me? You want me?
269
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:50,900
Well, I reckon
you done what you done...
270
00:22:51,100 --> 00:22:53,600
'cause you didn't know
we was who we was.
271
00:22:53,700 --> 00:22:55,700
And if we hadn't have been
who we was...
272
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:58,800
we'd have still been much obliged
for you a-doin' what you done.
273
00:23:00,100 --> 00:23:03,900
Mr. Clampett, I will work
very hard for you.
274
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:05,800
I trust you will.
275
00:23:05,900 --> 00:23:08,500
Is that all right with you,
Mr. Drysdale?
276
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:10,700
That's exactly what I'd do
in your situation.
277
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:12,800
- So we got ourselves a deal.
- Ah!
278
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:16,900
Absolutely!
279
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:19,100
Yeah.
280
00:23:22,300 --> 00:23:24,200
Just to show you
there's no hard feelin's...
281
00:23:24,300 --> 00:23:26,800
we'd like to invite you and your family
to Sunday supper.
282
00:23:26,900 --> 00:23:30,600
- Thank you. We'll be there.
- It'll give me the opportunity to swap recipes with your wife.
283
00:23:30,700 --> 00:23:32,600
Oh, she'd love that.
284
00:23:36,700 --> 00:23:38,700
Here you go.
285
00:23:41,900 --> 00:23:45,900
- What-What are you doing?
- We're just payin' our respects.
286
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,200
- You...
- Oh.
287
00:23:48,300 --> 00:23:50,800
Oh. Oh, no.
This is a limousine.
288
00:23:50,900 --> 00:23:53,200
You'll be going home in this.
289
00:23:53,300 --> 00:23:56,000
You take this, and I'll follow you
in my Rolls-Royce.
290
00:23:57,300 --> 00:24:00,700
- There you go.
- Is that your car?
291
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:04,000
- Yes, it is.
- Ain't that fancy!
292
00:24:04,100 --> 00:24:06,800
Can I drive it?
293
00:24:06,900 --> 00:24:10,300
You drive my $180,000
Rolls-Royce?
294
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:16,300
Uh, well, of course you can, son.
I think that's a great idea.
295
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:18,300
Hot dog!
296
00:24:47,900 --> 00:24:49,900
Howdy!
297
00:24:50,900 --> 00:24:54,400
Oh, isn't this exciting?
298
00:24:54,500 --> 00:24:56,900
Elly May Clampett,
sit down!
299
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:04,100
Oh, excuse me.
300
00:25:04,300 --> 00:25:06,600
Hello.
301
00:25:06,700 --> 00:25:08,900
Let Mr... Let Mr. Clampett know...
302
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,900
that the full weight of the bank
is ready to help them.
303
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:15,300
- Yes, chief.
- She thinks she's talkin' to somebody.
304
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:19,000
Ain't even a cord there.
305
00:25:19,100 --> 00:25:21,800
Like real estate, bonds, securities.
306
00:25:21,900 --> 00:25:24,800
Whatever it is he wants,
it's his.
307
00:25:24,900 --> 00:25:29,100
Mr. Drysdale wants you to know that the bank
is ready to help in any way that it can.
308
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:32,100
There's one reason and one reason only
I moved out here.
309
00:25:33,100 --> 00:25:35,000
I'm lookin' to get hitched.
310
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:38,000
Chief, he says
he wants to get hitched.
311
00:25:38,100 --> 00:25:41,100
- "Hitched"?
- Married.
312
00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:44,300
- Married?
- Chief, that's what I said.
313
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:48,300
Miss Hathaway, if...
if Clampett wants a wife...
314
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:50,900
tell him that you will
personally find him one.
315
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:55,100
Oh, chief, capable as I may be,
matrimonial brokering is...
316
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,100
Is now one of your specialties.
317
00:25:57,200 --> 00:26:00,300
Congratulations, Miss Hathaway,
and good luck.
318
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:04,700
Yes, sir.
Oh, dear.
319
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:08,300
No problem.
Uh, Mr. Clampett.
320
00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:13,100
Just exactly what
are you looking for in a fianc�e?
321
00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:15,600
A "fianc�e"?
322
00:26:15,700 --> 00:26:18,700
"Fianc�e"is French
for the person you intend to marry.
323
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:21,400
Well, I'm lookin'
for a refined lady...
324
00:26:21,500 --> 00:26:24,100
to help me
raise my daughter, Elly May.
325
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:26,600
Aw, Pa,
I'm already raised up.
326
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:31,100
And refined.
327
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:34,200
- Ah.
- Elly May, don't spit from a movin' vehicle.
328
00:26:35,500 --> 00:26:37,700
Wait till it stops.
329
00:26:43,100 --> 00:26:45,600
Jethro, save some for our guests.
330
00:26:49,900 --> 00:26:52,100
Here you go, Unclejed.
331
00:26:58,700 --> 00:27:01,000
I think old Duke
is sweet on your critter.
332
00:27:01,100 --> 00:27:05,000
She's not a critter.
She's a champion French "Barbonet. "
333
00:27:05,100 --> 00:27:09,700
And her purebred puppies
are gonna be worth $3,000 each.
334
00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:12,500
Uh, son, what, uh...
What do you do?
335
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:14,700
Don't know.
What do you do?
336
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:17,700
Oh, I'm just
president of a bank.
337
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:21,200
Wow. UncleJed, can I
be a president too?
338
00:27:21,300 --> 00:27:25,800
Now, Jethro, that's a mighty disrespectful
thing to say to Mr. Drysdale.
339
00:27:25,900 --> 00:27:29,600
- No.
- Ask him if you can be vice president.
340
00:27:29,700 --> 00:27:33,900
Vice president.
341
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:36,400
Uh-huh.
342
00:27:50,500 --> 00:27:54,000
Vice president.
Mm-hmm. I think so.
343
00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:56,300
We can... We can always use another good man.
344
00:27:56,400 --> 00:28:01,300
Hoo-whee. I'm gonna get me
a fancy offiice and a pretty secretary.
345
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:05,500
There's them bells again.
346
00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:09,600
Jethro, I bet you there's somebody
standin'at that front door right now.
347
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:17,000
If I was you,
I'd eat real quick whilst he's gone.
348
00:28:17,100 --> 00:28:21,200
Oh, that's good.
Margaret, why don't you help yourself, dear.
349
00:28:21,300 --> 00:28:24,000
- Oh, good Lord.
- What is it?
350
00:28:28,100 --> 00:28:30,700
- Howdy, mister.
- Hi. I'm Woodrow Tyler.
351
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:33,800
- I'm here to seeJed Clampett.
- Well, come on in.
352
00:28:35,300 --> 00:28:37,200
No, no. No.
353
00:28:41,500 --> 00:28:45,800
- Tyler. Well, what brings you here?
- Sir, hello.
354
00:28:45,900 --> 00:28:50,600
We took up a collection to buy these
beautiful flowers for our newest clients.
355
00:28:50,700 --> 00:28:53,100
Welcome to Beverly Hills.
356
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:55,300
Well, thank you, sonny.
357
00:28:55,400 --> 00:29:01,300
Tyler, can the ham. Just introduce yourself
and get out of here, okay?
358
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:04,500
- Very pleased to meet you.
- Howdy!
359
00:29:07,300 --> 00:29:11,100
Elly May Clampett!
360
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:14,200
- He was fixin' to bite my hand.
- Well, stand him up.
361
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:21,200
- Tyler, apologize.
- My fault completely, Mr. Clampett.
362
00:29:21,300 --> 00:29:23,000
I moved too quickly.
363
00:29:23,100 --> 00:29:26,600
You have a beautiful daughter...
and very strong.
364
00:29:26,700 --> 00:29:29,500
- Mrs. Drysdale.
- Hmm?
365
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:32,600
What could help Elly May
be as refined as you?
366
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:35,700
Well, I went to
finishing school in France.
367
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:40,100
No one understands refinement and
sophistication better than the French.
368
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:44,400
Hmm. Do you think we ought to
move ourselves to France?
369
00:29:44,500 --> 00:29:47,200
- Yes, I do.
- No, you don't. No, she doesn't.
370
00:29:47,300 --> 00:29:50,800
Actually, you can find a good French tutor
that'll come right to your home.
371
00:29:52,300 --> 00:29:55,500
I don't wanna change.
I just wanna be who I am.
372
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:58,700
- And I ain't goin'to no France.!
- Oh, my.
373
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:02,300
Excuse me.
374
00:30:02,500 --> 00:30:05,000
- Mrs. Drysdale.
- Hmm?
375
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:07,100
If you ain't gonna eat them vittles,
can I have 'em?
376
00:30:08,300 --> 00:30:11,600
Of course you can, son.
Bon app�tit.
377
00:30:11,700 --> 00:30:13,700
Thank you.
378
00:30:22,100 --> 00:30:25,100
Elly May, come on down here.
379
00:30:30,100 --> 00:30:33,600
- How'd you know where I was, Pa?
- 'Cause ever since you could walk...
380
00:30:33,700 --> 00:30:36,800
you've been climbin' trees
and cuddlin' with your critters.
381
00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:51,800
It's high time you started thinkin'
about changin' some things.
382
00:30:51,900 --> 00:30:54,900
You need to start wearin' dresses
and fixin' up nice.
383
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:58,200
But, Pa,
folks would call me a sissy.
384
00:30:58,300 --> 00:31:00,900
It ain't sissy for girls
to act like girls.
385
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:06,200
Ever since your ma died,
I done what I knew best...
386
00:31:06,300 --> 00:31:08,700
and raised you up like a boy...
387
00:31:08,900 --> 00:31:11,300
roughhousin', fishin', fightin'.
388
00:31:11,500 --> 00:31:14,000
Yeah. That stuff's fun.
389
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:18,700
Elly, nature made you a girl,
and here lately...
390
00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:20,800
she's been gettin' more
and more positive about it.
391
00:31:20,900 --> 00:31:22,800
Aw, Pa.
392
00:31:25,700 --> 00:31:28,400
Every time
I look into your eyes...
393
00:31:28,500 --> 00:31:30,400
I can see your ma there.
394
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:37,700
Was my ma refined?
395
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:39,800
Oh, yes.
396
00:31:39,900 --> 00:31:42,300
She was a real genteel lady.
397
00:31:44,900 --> 00:31:49,100
I miss her so much...
even now.
398
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:52,000
I wanna be
just like my ma was.
399
00:31:54,300 --> 00:31:57,500
I reckon I do need somebody
to teach me the ways.
400
00:31:57,600 --> 00:32:00,200
Yeah, reckon you do.
401
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:07,000
And now I got the means
to make that happen.
402
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:23,500
Tyler, don't you have anything
better to do today?
403
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:27,200
I just thought you'd wanna know more
about the richest dumb guy in America.
404
00:32:27,300 --> 00:32:31,500
- He's a hayseed, a hillbilly.
- Mm!
405
00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:33,700
So this Clampett guy
should be easy, huh?
406
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:37,200
Yes, but we better do it fast
before he gets married.
407
00:32:37,300 --> 00:32:40,400
Married? Tyler,
Clampett's getting married?
408
00:32:40,500 --> 00:32:43,900
No, but he wants to.
409
00:32:47,700 --> 00:32:50,900
- He's a horny old goat lookin' for some action?
- Nah.
410
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:52,900
He's just looking for a refined lady...
411
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,600
- to help raise his hellcat daughter, Elly May.
- Hmm.
412
00:32:55,700 --> 00:32:59,900
But he did seem interested when somebody
brought up the idea of a French tutor.
413
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:03,300
Hmm. A French tutor.
414
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:23,800
Bonjour.
My name is Laurette Voleur...
415
00:33:23,900 --> 00:33:27,300
and I am a...
French governess.
416
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:29,600
Well, come on in, ma'am.
417
00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:34,900
Bonjour.
I am going door-to-door...
418
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,800
to see if anyone
needs my services.
419
00:33:37,900 --> 00:33:39,700
- My business card.
- "Mademoiselle. "
420
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:43,300
"Mademoiselle... "
421
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:47,200
- Sorry, ma'am. I don't think so.
- Are you sure?
422
00:33:49,500 --> 00:33:55,000
- Yep.
- There is not a young woman in the house...
423
00:33:55,100 --> 00:33:58,600
who is perhaps a bit, uh, unruly?
424
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:03,400
Not that I can think of,
but, then again, we just moved here.
425
00:34:03,500 --> 00:34:07,500
Nobody in need of refinement
and sophistication?
426
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:14,600
No. Maybe you oughta
try the neighbors.
427
00:34:14,700 --> 00:34:19,500
Oh, well, I am so sorry
to bother you.
428
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:22,500
I will be going now.
429
00:34:23,900 --> 00:34:25,900
Well, what's the problem, ma'am?
430
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:31,000
I was just hoping that my services
would be needed, but...
431
00:34:31,100 --> 00:34:34,400
- Well, what do you do?
- I teach, um... how do you say this...
432
00:34:34,500 --> 00:34:39,800
oh, rambunctious teenage girls
how to be more ladylike and proper.
433
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:46,700
Well, dog my cats. You know,
Mrs. Drysdale was just telling us...
434
00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:49,700
about how the French was the best
at finishing a gal out.
435
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:53,000
Oui, they are. They are
the very, very best...
436
00:34:53,100 --> 00:34:56,900
at making a woman a woman.
437
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,900
Hey. I just thought of somethin'.
438
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:01,900
Maybe she could help
with Elly May.
439
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,500
Oh.
440
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:14,700
Here, Rascal.
441
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:16,900
Yeah.
442
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:20,400
You like swimmin'
in this cement pond, don't you?
443
00:35:20,500 --> 00:35:22,800
You like it too, Frankie?
444
00:35:22,900 --> 00:35:24,900
Takin'that duck for a swim?
445
00:35:27,100 --> 00:35:32,300
And over here by the cement pond
is my daughter Elly.
446
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:34,400
Elly, say hello to Miss Laurette.
447
00:35:34,500 --> 00:35:37,000
- Howdy, Miss Laurette.
- Bonjour, Elly May.
448
00:35:37,100 --> 00:35:39,000
It is such a pleasure
to meet you.
449
00:35:39,100 --> 00:35:41,000
I was thinkin',
every day after school...
450
00:35:41,100 --> 00:35:44,100
maybe Miss Laurette
could help teach you to be a lady.
451
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:46,100
- How about that?
- Okay.
452
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:49,100
Spanky likes you.
453
00:35:50,700 --> 00:35:52,900
Not as much as I like him.
454
00:35:54,500 --> 00:35:57,500
Go on, now,
and stay out of trouble.
455
00:35:58,700 --> 00:36:01,900
I finally figured
this game out, Spanky.
456
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:04,900
You take this ball...
457
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:08,100
you put it down
this here gully.
458
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:10,800
It rolls down yonder.
459
00:36:10,900 --> 00:36:14,400
Then you hurl yourself
down this slippery gully...
460
00:36:14,500 --> 00:36:18,400
and see how many of them there
snake-bashin' clubs...
461
00:36:18,500 --> 00:36:22,000
you can knock down...
before the ball gets there.
462
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:26,900
What a stupid idiot.
463
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:29,300
Did you say somethin', ma'am?
464
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:33,100
What a stupendous intellect.
465
00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:35,400
That's 'cause I graduated
the sixth grade, ma'am.
466
00:36:35,500 --> 00:36:37,700
Only took three years.
467
00:37:04,700 --> 00:37:08,000
Now, Elly May,
sit straight, chin up...
468
00:37:08,100 --> 00:37:12,500
and try to practice looking interested
when people are boring you.
469
00:37:21,700 --> 00:37:24,600
Ah, greetings, Mr. Clampett.
470
00:37:24,700 --> 00:37:26,700
- Well, howdy, Miss Jane.
- Hello, Elly May.
471
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:29,200
Miss Jane, this here
is Miss Laurette Voleur.
472
00:37:29,300 --> 00:37:33,000
Bonjour, Mademoiselle Laurette.
Comment allez-vous?
473
00:37:34,100 --> 00:37:36,000
Tut-tut-tut-tut-tut.
474
00:37:36,100 --> 00:37:40,000
- I must only speak the English in front of Elly May.
- Of course.
475
00:37:40,100 --> 00:37:44,000
Uh, Mr. Clampett, drawing
from Commerce Bank clientele...
476
00:37:44,100 --> 00:37:47,600
I have selected some preliminary
bridal prospects for you.
477
00:37:47,700 --> 00:37:51,000
Oh.! Oh, dear.! Oh, my goodness.!
478
00:37:51,100 --> 00:37:54,400
Mon Dieu.!
How clumsy of me. I'm so sorry.
479
00:37:54,500 --> 00:37:56,800
Oh. Oh, it's no... no problem.
480
00:37:56,900 --> 00:38:00,500
No problem whatsoever.
At the bank, I have these in triplicate.
481
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:05,100
- I shall return.
- I'll walk you out, Miss Hathaway.
482
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:07,100
Why, thank you, Jethro.
483
00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:09,300
So, Mr. Clampett...
484
00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:11,800
perhaps we should discuss
my, uh, weekly salary?
485
00:38:18,900 --> 00:38:21,200
Shoo!
486
00:38:21,300 --> 00:38:25,300
Shoo!
487
00:38:31,900 --> 00:38:36,400
Shoo, cow. Excuse me, I'm just going to
reach over here and press this button.
488
00:38:36,500 --> 00:38:38,500
Hello. Can anyone hear me?
489
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:41,000
Can anyone hear me?
490
00:38:41,100 --> 00:38:43,800
- Yeah.
- Can somebody help me?
491
00:38:43,900 --> 00:38:47,100
- Hello?
- Miss Hathaway?
492
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:50,100
How's it feel to live in Beverly Hills?
493
00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:53,600
- Hello?
- I can hear you. Where are you?
494
00:38:53,700 --> 00:38:56,800
Please, can somebody
let me out of here?
495
00:38:56,900 --> 00:38:59,800
I am trapped inside the wall.
496
00:38:59,900 --> 00:39:02,600
Hello? Hello?
497
00:39:02,700 --> 00:39:05,300
- Hello? Hello?
- Just stay put, Miss Hathaway. I'll get ya out.
498
00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:06,800
Hello?
499
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:09,900
Watch your head.
500
00:39:18,700 --> 00:39:20,400
Miss Hathaway?
501
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:23,700
Yoo-hoo!
502
00:39:27,500 --> 00:39:30,700
I'm in. This is gonna be
easier than I thought.
503
00:39:30,900 --> 00:39:32,800
So, they bought the French thing?
504
00:39:32,900 --> 00:39:36,100
Mais oui.
They're bumpkins.
505
00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:38,200
It's a crime
they have so much money.
506
00:39:38,300 --> 00:39:41,100
It's worse than a foreigner
winning the lottery.
507
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:43,500
I know exactly
what I'm gonna do.
508
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:46,600
First, I'll lure in Clampett.
That'll be easy.
509
00:39:46,700 --> 00:39:51,300
Next, I'll take Elly May
and slap on a little window dressing.
510
00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:54,800
Make him think I turned her into a real lady.
511
00:39:54,900 --> 00:39:57,400
Then, when the time
is just right...
512
00:39:57,500 --> 00:40:00,000
I'll play one off the other
and... wham!
513
00:40:00,100 --> 00:40:04,100
- They won't know what hit 'em.
- You're not gonna sleep with him, are you?
514
00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:06,700
- That's not your problem.
- Okay, Laura?
515
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:09,500
I got my hand on your butt.
516
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:11,600
Okay. Hold on.
517
00:40:11,700 --> 00:40:13,900
I got someone on call waiting.
518
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:17,100
Hello? Hello?
519
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:22,000
It was nobody. Okay, now.
520
00:40:22,100 --> 00:40:25,200
I got my hand on your butt,
and I'm squeezing.
521
00:40:25,300 --> 00:40:28,100
Tyler!
Get your hand off my butt.
522
00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:31,000
- Mr. Drysdale!
- Get a pencil and write this down.
523
00:40:31,100 --> 00:40:33,100
Yes, Mr. Drysdale.
524
00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:36,300
Right. Uh-huh.
I can do that.
525
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:03,500
Howdy, I'm Elly May.
You must be Mr. Drysdale's son.
526
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:10,400
Well, thanks for picking me up.
Is this here your car?
527
00:41:15,300 --> 00:41:19,600
Are we goin' to school,
or are we just goin' to stand here all day?
528
00:41:25,300 --> 00:41:29,000
- Hey, y'all. Howdy.
- She's with me.
529
00:41:29,100 --> 00:41:31,200
Heck, Morgan, I'm tryin' to be friendly-like...
530
00:41:31,300 --> 00:41:33,900
but these folks don't seem
to want to say howdy back.
531
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:36,200
- They sure are shy.
- So what?
532
00:41:36,300 --> 00:41:38,500
Elly May, who cares?
They're losers.
533
00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:40,700
Not one of them is worth
over 300 million.
534
00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:42,900
- Uh-oh.
- Well, if it isn't Morgan...
535
00:41:43,100 --> 00:41:45,500
spelled big "M,"
little "organ. "
536
00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:49,600
- We've gotta go.
- Not so fast, bank boy. Cough up your lunch money now.
537
00:41:49,700 --> 00:41:52,800
All I have is $400
in traveler's checks.
538
00:41:52,900 --> 00:41:55,900
So just sign them
and hand them over.
539
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:58,400
Jake, show these two what happened
to the last guy who didn't pay up.
540
00:42:04,100 --> 00:42:06,100
Well, I can wire the money
to your account.
541
00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:08,200
Before the close
of the business day.
542
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:13,600
I don't see why you
had to give anything to that gorilla.
543
00:42:13,700 --> 00:42:16,300
Well, that gorilla
is the captain of the wrestling team.
544
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:19,400
Wow. I never wrestled a team before.
545
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:24,300
- Well, 'lessen you count the McCarter triplets.
- Cappuccino?
546
00:42:24,400 --> 00:42:26,400
- What?
- Two.
547
00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:36,000
Thank you, Tiffany.
548
00:42:36,100 --> 00:42:38,300
This here electronic whittler
works real fine.
549
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:43,700
Why, hello, Jethro.
550
00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:46,500
Well, howdy, Miss Hathaway.
551
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:51,000
My, don't you look strapping
in your new business suit.
552
00:42:51,100 --> 00:42:56,000
- Armani?
- No. I'm pretty sure it's wool. Sure does itch like wool.
553
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:00,900
- Miss Hathaway?
- Oh, no, no. We're colleagues.
554
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,800
Call meJane.
MeJane, you Jethro.
555
00:43:06,500 --> 00:43:09,800
Okay. Okay, Miss Hathaway.
556
00:43:09,900 --> 00:43:13,500
Can I get one of these
electronic whittlers for UncleJed?
557
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:17,000
- It's his birthday coming up real soon.
- Let me make a note of that.
558
00:43:17,100 --> 00:43:20,200
And speaking of your UncleJed,
back to the job at hand...
559
00:43:20,300 --> 00:43:23,000
- Finding him a suitable wife.
- Can I help?
560
00:43:23,100 --> 00:43:26,300
Heck, back in the hollow, my ma
was the best matchmaker around.
561
00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:28,800
- Is that so?
- Uh-huh.
562
00:43:28,900 --> 00:43:33,400
First thing she'd do is get
the back-fence gossips start a-jawin'.
563
00:43:33,500 --> 00:43:35,400
Why, we could drop some
items in the trades.
564
00:43:35,500 --> 00:43:38,400
- Excellent.
- Thank you.
565
00:43:38,500 --> 00:43:41,700
And then she'd...
What'd she do?
566
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:45,500
She'd hang a sign
on the church bulletin board.
567
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:48,900
Maybe we can get
a big bulletin board.
568
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:51,400
No, no. We'd better be
a bit more discreet.
569
00:43:51,500 --> 00:43:54,400
Tell me, what are your
uncle's favorite things?
570
00:43:54,500 --> 00:43:56,400
Shoot, that's easy.
571
00:43:56,500 --> 00:43:59,900
- He likes smoked crawdads.
- Mm-hmm.
572
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:01,900
Sowbelly and hand-slung chitterlings.
573
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:04,400
And sponge cake.
574
00:44:04,500 --> 00:44:06,600
Besides food, Jethro.
575
00:44:06,700 --> 00:44:11,300
- Oh. He likes people who don't waste nothin'.
- Oh, go on.
576
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:15,800
And his favorite song is
"I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry" by Hank Williams.
577
00:44:15,900 --> 00:44:19,100
- Yes!
- Yes, ma'am.
578
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:18,300
Entrez.
579
00:45:23,500 --> 00:45:26,500
Excuse me, ma'am, uh...
580
00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:28,500
is that Hank Williams I hear?
581
00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:30,500
I'm sorry.
It must be too loud.
582
00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:32,800
- I will...
- No, no.
583
00:45:32,900 --> 00:45:36,000
I was just listening to it
while repairing this old dress...
584
00:45:36,100 --> 00:45:39,100
and, uh, waiting for
my sponge cake to bake.
585
00:45:39,300 --> 00:45:41,200
You're cookin' a sponge cake?
586
00:45:41,300 --> 00:45:44,500
Oui.
It is my sp�cialit�.
587
00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:47,700
I love this music.
588
00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:50,700
It makes me want to dance.
589
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:54,000
It's so romantic.
590
00:46:36,400 --> 00:46:40,300
You are a fine dancer...
591
00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:43,200
and a very attractive man.
592
00:46:43,300 --> 00:46:46,500
Whomever Miss Hathaway
finds for you to marry...
593
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:48,700
is going to be
a very happy woman.
594
00:46:48,900 --> 00:46:51,300
Well, thank you, ma'am.
595
00:46:51,400 --> 00:46:55,600
And all women know
"a-penis" is hard to find.
596
00:46:58,300 --> 00:47:01,500
- Excuse me?
- "A-penis. "
597
00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:06,900
Oh, happiness!
598
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:08,700
Well, uh...
599
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:11,000
I've disturbed
your work enough, ma'am.
600
00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:25,900
Jethro, have you considered
getting a new car?
601
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:30,400
Nope, but I told UncleJed we should slap
a new coat of paint on this'n.
602
00:47:30,500 --> 00:47:32,800
But he said just
'cause we had money...
603
00:47:32,900 --> 00:47:35,000
we didn't need to go
showin' it off.
604
00:47:35,100 --> 00:47:37,100
I was just thinking,
oh, you should, you should.
605
00:47:37,200 --> 00:47:40,300
You would look so good
in a big new fashy car.
606
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:43,800
Big fashy car, huh? Maybe.
607
00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:48,300
Yep.
608
00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:52,600
Okay, Miss Jane,
I'm 'bout ready to pull over.
609
00:47:52,700 --> 00:47:55,400
You are so impossibly romantic.
610
00:47:55,500 --> 00:47:57,800
Close your eyes.
611
00:47:57,900 --> 00:47:59,800
Hot diggity dog!
612
00:47:59,900 --> 00:48:02,700
Okay, now,
keep 'em closed.
613
00:48:02,800 --> 00:48:05,500
How charmingly old-fashioned.
614
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:08,000
Mm.
615
00:48:08,100 --> 00:48:10,200
Open your eyes
and look up.
616
00:48:11,700 --> 00:48:13,700
Ain't she pretty?
617
00:48:15,200 --> 00:48:17,300
Oh, my God!
618
00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:19,800
The chief is going to kill me.
619
00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:33,400
We'll be back
with the financial news after this message.
620
00:48:33,500 --> 00:48:36,000
Howdy.
I'm jethro Bodine.
621
00:48:36,100 --> 00:48:38,200
I'm talkin' to all
you ladies out there.
622
00:48:38,300 --> 00:48:40,500
Are you looking for
the perfect husband?
623
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:42,500
Then considerjed Clampett.
624
00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:45,200
Yes, Jed is rated triple A's...
625
00:48:45,300 --> 00:48:49,500
for a-ttractive, a-vailable,
and a-billionaire.
626
00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:52,600
So come on down
to the Commerce Bank of Beverly Hills...
627
00:48:52,700 --> 00:48:54,800
and see me, jethro Bodine,
vice president.
628
00:48:54,900 --> 00:48:56,800
- Dear, what's the matter?
- And remember.
629
00:48:56,900 --> 00:49:00,700
I'm not onlyJed's wife finder.
I'm also his nephew.
630
00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:05,700
I'm ruined.
631
00:49:36,600 --> 00:49:38,100
Oh!
632
00:49:51,300 --> 00:49:54,000
Howdy.
633
00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:57,300
Thank you.
634
00:49:57,400 --> 00:50:01,100
Hathaway, you are embarrassing
this institution!
635
00:50:01,200 --> 00:50:03,100
This is a carnival.
636
00:50:03,300 --> 00:50:06,500
What kind of a numbskull would
think up a harebrained scheme like this?
637
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:08,600
That'd be me, Mr. Drysdale.
638
00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:10,500
Y- Your idea.
Well...
639
00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:13,400
Well, it's brilliant.!
640
00:50:13,500 --> 00:50:15,900
Insightful. Cutting edge.
641
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:18,100
You're a born leader, son.
642
00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:21,700
We've have had 1,215 women
respond to the ad.
643
00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:23,800
- And two men.
- Wh...
644
00:50:23,900 --> 00:50:27,900
Once I've entered the data into the computer,
worked my magic... presto.
645
00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:32,700
- We will narrow them down to a precious few.
- Send in the next five.
646
00:50:32,800 --> 00:50:36,400
Oh, uh, Hathaway, uh,
you're not validating parking, are you?
647
00:50:36,500 --> 00:50:38,400
Parking? Um...
648
00:50:38,500 --> 00:50:40,800
Oh, that was my idea too,
Mr. Drysdale.
649
00:50:40,900 --> 00:50:45,000
Well, it's a brilliant idea,
if I may say so.
650
00:50:45,100 --> 00:50:47,600
Let's see, uh...
651
00:50:47,700 --> 00:50:51,300
1,215 women... and two men.
652
00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:53,500
At a dollar and a half
every 15 minutes.
653
00:50:53,600 --> 00:50:56,500
Ah, well, that's only
gonna cost me 5...
654
00:50:56,600 --> 00:50:59,100
5-5-5-5... $5,000.
655
00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:02,300
Well...
656
00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:10,900
- Bonjour, Jethro.
- Well, howdy, Miss Laurette.
657
00:51:11,100 --> 00:51:13,000
What is all of this?
658
00:51:13,100 --> 00:51:16,500
Miss Jane said a big fancy car
would be more suitin' to my personality...
659
00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:19,600
so I'm fixin' on makin' one
out of my truck.
660
00:51:19,700 --> 00:51:23,300
Personally, if it would have been me,
I would have just bought a new one.
661
00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:25,800
But... carry on.
662
00:51:28,900 --> 00:51:30,900
What a moron.
663
00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:35,300
Hey, organ,
what are you doin' here?
664
00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:37,300
- You come here to wrestle me?
- No.
665
00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:39,300
Or did you just come here
to kiss the gym foor?
666
00:51:39,400 --> 00:51:42,000
Come on, Morgan, just kiss it.
Come on, kiss it.
667
00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:44,100
Why don't you pick on
somebody your own size?
668
00:51:44,300 --> 00:51:46,600
And what business
is it of yours, baby?
669
00:51:46,700 --> 00:51:50,200
What are you doing here, anyway,
corn pone?
670
00:51:50,400 --> 00:51:53,000
I came by to join
the wrestlin' team.
671
00:51:53,100 --> 00:51:55,000
I don't wrestle girls,
at least not in the gym...
672
00:51:55,100 --> 00:51:57,000
but in your case,
I'll make an exception.
673
00:51:57,100 --> 00:51:59,100
- Good. Then let's get started.
- Whoa!
674
00:52:01,700 --> 00:52:03,700
- I'm gonna kill you!
- I'm goin' to kill you.!
675
00:52:03,800 --> 00:52:05,700
No one is going to kill
anyone here!
676
00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:07,800
Not without a signed
permission slip from home.
677
00:52:07,900 --> 00:52:10,500
- Got it?
- Got it, Coach.
678
00:52:12,500 --> 00:52:14,900
So, Jethro...
679
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:18,200
building on your visionary plan
for finding your uncle's wife...
680
00:52:18,300 --> 00:52:22,200
I've... I've created
this rather modest database program.
681
00:52:22,300 --> 00:52:25,400
I've cross-referenced the applicants...
682
00:52:25,500 --> 00:52:29,400
against the parameters
you indicated he desired...
683
00:52:29,500 --> 00:52:33,400
by specifying the search criteria
into functional groupings...
684
00:52:33,500 --> 00:52:37,000
and selecting the fiield values...
685
00:52:37,100 --> 00:52:39,200
through the use
of embedded commands...
686
00:52:39,300 --> 00:52:43,600
and, of course,
basic Boolean algebra.
687
00:52:46,600 --> 00:52:50,900
Miss Jane, I have no idea
what you just said.
688
00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:58,400
Oh, Jethro, you are
so delightfully... primitive.
689
00:53:01,700 --> 00:53:04,800
Uh, Miss Hathaway, would you
step into my office, please.
690
00:53:04,900 --> 00:53:08,000
- And bring the, uh, the Arlington file.
- Yes, sir.
691
00:53:08,100 --> 00:53:10,100
- I'm sorry.
- Mr. Drysdale...
692
00:53:10,200 --> 00:53:13,200
since I have trained three Kentucky Derby
winners for other people...
693
00:53:13,300 --> 00:53:17,300
it seems a logical extension that I'd want
to own and operate my own stud farm...
694
00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:19,100
Arlington Acres.
695
00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:22,200
Well, it's just...
It's just a very exciting idea.
696
00:53:22,300 --> 00:53:25,300
Then you agree that his net worth
and rural background...
697
00:53:25,400 --> 00:53:27,900
makeJed Clampett
the perfect partner for such a venture.
698
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:31,400
Absolutely. You and Clampett,
partners in a stud farm.
699
00:53:31,500 --> 00:53:34,500
- I think it's a wonderful idea.
- So you'll call him and arrange for us to meet?
700
00:53:34,600 --> 00:53:36,800
You bet I will.
701
00:53:36,900 --> 00:53:39,800
- I'm sure he can't wait to see you.
- Oh.
702
00:53:39,900 --> 00:53:43,500
In fact, as soon as you leave, I'm going
to call Mr. Clampett on the phone.
703
00:53:43,600 --> 00:53:45,900
- Ah! This is very exciting.
- Isn't it?
704
00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:48,800
Yeah.
705
00:53:48,900 --> 00:53:51,500
But, chief,
you specifiically told me...
706
00:53:51,600 --> 00:53:54,900
that you did not want Mr. Clampett
involved in such a risky venture.
707
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:56,900
Exactly.
Shred and burn that.
708
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:59,500
And don't ever let that lady
back in this offiice.
709
00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:02,100
It went fantastically.
710
00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:06,100
Mr. Drysdale said I would
be a perfect partner for Mr. Clampett.
711
00:54:06,200 --> 00:54:09,000
Yes. I'll tell you more
when I get back. Bye.
712
00:54:11,900 --> 00:54:16,000
Excuse me, ma'am. If Mr. Drysdale thinks
you'd be perfect for my UncleJed...
713
00:54:16,100 --> 00:54:19,500
I can take you over
to meet him right now.
714
00:54:19,600 --> 00:54:23,000
- Wonderful!
- Come on.
715
00:54:23,100 --> 00:54:25,700
I think you're gonna
like Miss Arlington.
716
00:54:25,800 --> 00:54:28,600
Miss Jane picked her out
with her computer-datin' base.
717
00:54:28,700 --> 00:54:31,700
Then Mr. Drysdale
personally approved her.
718
00:54:31,800 --> 00:54:34,400
Computer-datin' base, huh?
719
00:54:34,500 --> 00:54:37,400
What'll they think of next?
720
00:54:37,500 --> 00:54:41,200
- Hello, Miss Arlington.
- Mr. Clampett.
721
00:54:41,300 --> 00:54:45,000
Well, gee, uh, I don't know
quite how to begin.
722
00:54:45,100 --> 00:54:48,100
Then let me start.
723
00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:52,400
I know, by just looking at you,
you are the perfect man for my stud farm.
724
00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:57,200
- Stud farm?
- If it makes it any easier for you...
725
00:54:57,300 --> 00:55:01,600
I am willing to take on
multiple partners.
726
00:55:01,700 --> 00:55:04,900
Multiple partners.
727
00:55:08,700 --> 00:55:10,600
Uh, no offense, ma'am...
728
00:55:10,700 --> 00:55:13,800
but I'm afraid I'd find that just
a tad uncomfortable.
729
00:55:15,900 --> 00:55:17,900
Well, what if it was with somebody
you really trusted...
730
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:19,900
like Mr. Drysdale?
731
00:55:21,400 --> 00:55:23,300
I don't think this is
the sort of thing...
732
00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:25,900
Mr. Drysdale would want
to be involved in.
733
00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:28,200
Oh, well, you should
have seen his face...
734
00:55:28,300 --> 00:55:31,200
when I showed him the pictures
of what I have in mind.
735
00:55:31,300 --> 00:55:34,300
- He was very excited.
- I don't doubt that.
736
00:55:34,400 --> 00:55:37,100
Would you like to see the pictures?
They're very detailed.
737
00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:39,600
Not just yet!
738
00:55:39,700 --> 00:55:41,600
Don't you think we're
movin' awful fast?
739
00:55:41,700 --> 00:55:47,000
Oh, not as far
as I'm concerned, Mr. Clampett.
740
00:55:47,100 --> 00:55:50,100
I've got my license,
and I'm ready to breed.
741
00:55:52,100 --> 00:55:54,600
Excuse me, ma'am, uh...
742
00:55:54,700 --> 00:55:56,800
I could use a glass
of iced tea.
743
00:55:58,200 --> 00:56:00,000
- Yourself?
- Sure.
744
00:56:00,100 --> 00:56:03,600
I'm learnin' Elly May to ride my motorcycle!
745
00:56:03,700 --> 00:56:07,000
- How do you stop this thing?
- I'm gonna tan your hide.!
746
00:56:07,100 --> 00:56:11,000
You're doin' real good.
Now put on the brakes!
747
00:56:11,100 --> 00:56:13,000
- Granny?
- Whoa.!
748
00:56:13,100 --> 00:56:15,000
I'm gonna get you!
749
00:56:18,100 --> 00:56:20,200
Granny! Watch your head!
750
00:56:24,300 --> 00:56:27,500
Stop! Oh-oh-oh!
751
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:35,200
- Dang!
- I'll help you, Granny.
752
00:56:35,300 --> 00:56:37,600
Come on. Swim over here.
753
00:56:37,700 --> 00:56:39,800
There we go. Give me your hand.
754
00:56:39,900 --> 00:56:42,700
Upsy-daisy.
Come on.
755
00:56:42,800 --> 00:56:45,100
There we...
Ow.! Granny.!
756
00:56:45,200 --> 00:56:47,800
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Granny!
757
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:50,300
Miss Arlington, you reckon if we got hitched,
758
00:56:50,400 --> 00:56:53,200
you could help me tame
my daughter, Elly May?
759
00:56:53,300 --> 00:56:56,000
Are you proposing
we get married?
760
00:56:56,100 --> 00:57:00,000
Well, I wouldn't feel
right about breedin' if we didn't.
761
00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:13,900
Okay, men, that's it. Hit the mineral baths.
762
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:16,300
- Howdy.
- Well, well. Look who's here.
763
00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:20,100
- Missed you at practice, babe.
- She didn't come alone.
764
00:57:20,200 --> 00:57:22,100
Hey, Morgan.
What are you doin' here?
765
00:57:25,100 --> 00:57:28,000
- Well, who's all these folks?
- Just to keep things fair.
766
00:57:28,100 --> 00:57:30,900
- Is this some kind of joke?
- Well, come on, baby.
767
00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:32,700
Let's wrestle.
768
00:57:35,300 --> 00:57:37,900
- Come on!
- Come on. Give it to him.
769
00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:40,900
Oh, wait. That's mine.
770
00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:43,200
It's mine.
771
00:57:45,200 --> 00:57:47,400
Come on, man.
You can do it!
772
00:57:47,500 --> 00:57:50,200
- Fight in the gym.
- All right. - Cool.
773
00:58:07,100 --> 00:58:10,000
Wait. Hold on. I'm getting a fax.
774
00:58:13,500 --> 00:58:16,300
Meet me there.
775
00:58:26,400 --> 00:58:28,800
This here's what I call
the Clampett clamp.
776
00:58:28,900 --> 00:58:30,700
That's not legal.
777
00:58:30,800 --> 00:58:33,100
Really?
Well, try this one.
778
00:58:34,700 --> 00:58:38,400
Hey, come on.
779
00:58:38,500 --> 00:58:41,200
- I call it the possum pretzel.
- That ain't legal either.
780
00:58:41,300 --> 00:58:44,600
- Well...
- Ow!
781
00:58:46,300 --> 00:58:48,400
What about
the hickory nut crunch?
782
00:58:53,400 --> 00:58:55,100
That's definitely not legal!
783
00:58:55,200 --> 00:58:58,900
Well, ain't nothin' legal 'round here?
784
00:59:07,300 --> 00:59:10,600
One, two...
785
00:59:12,800 --> 00:59:16,000
One, two...
786
00:59:16,100 --> 00:59:19,400
- Yeah!
- Three.
787
00:59:30,800 --> 00:59:33,600
Young lady!
788
00:59:33,700 --> 00:59:36,500
I think we've found
a new team captain.
789
00:59:36,600 --> 00:59:39,600
Sorry, Derek.
You're demoted.
790
00:59:41,100 --> 00:59:42,700
Come here, Morgan.
791
00:59:42,800 --> 00:59:45,400
Thanks, y'all.
792
00:59:52,500 --> 00:59:57,600
I truly appreciate y'all a-tossin' me
this here fancy birthday party.
793
00:59:57,700 --> 01:00:01,000
Everybody looks just as nice as peach pie.
794
01:00:01,100 --> 01:00:04,500
I just got one
question for you...
795
01:00:04,600 --> 01:00:07,100
- Who are these people?
- Well...
796
01:00:13,800 --> 01:00:16,600
Howdy, Miss Jane.
797
01:00:16,700 --> 01:00:19,100
Oh, my goodness, jethro.
798
01:00:20,700 --> 01:00:25,100
I took your advice...
made me a big fashy car.
799
01:00:25,200 --> 01:00:28,400
It's very you.
Very, very macho.
800
01:00:28,500 --> 01:00:32,200
- Thank you.
- Well, shall we?
801
01:00:37,200 --> 01:00:39,500
Is Pa here yet?
802
01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:45,200
Elly May Clampett,
you look plumb elegant.
803
01:00:45,300 --> 01:00:49,200
Thanks, Pa. I feel kind of funny
gettin' all gussied up like this...
804
01:00:49,300 --> 01:00:52,800
but Miss Laurette
says I'll get used to it.
805
01:00:54,300 --> 01:00:57,200
You've done a fine job in
turnin' Elly May into a lady.
806
01:00:57,300 --> 01:01:00,000
Thank you,
Monsieur Clampett.
807
01:01:00,100 --> 01:01:03,900
She is a diamond in ze rough,
just like you.
808
01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:08,100
What's all this?
809
01:01:08,200 --> 01:01:11,500
Sushi, calamari, caviar.
810
01:01:11,600 --> 01:01:14,600
What? Speak American.
811
01:01:14,700 --> 01:01:17,300
Listen, I was wondering if, um...
812
01:01:17,400 --> 01:01:19,400
maybe sometime
we could go out.
813
01:01:19,500 --> 01:01:23,800
Not on a date or anything, but just maybe
to go get some burgers or something.
814
01:01:23,900 --> 01:01:26,700
Take off that silly hat.
815
01:01:28,500 --> 01:01:31,500
Then again, I would, uh...
understand if you didn't want to.
816
01:01:31,600 --> 01:01:35,400
Sounds like fun.
817
01:01:35,500 --> 01:01:38,800
So, Jethro, once we find
your UncleJed a wife...
818
01:01:38,900 --> 01:01:42,700
- Perhaps it'll be your turn to get hitched.
- Me? No.
819
01:01:42,800 --> 01:01:45,800
I'm gonna be
a Hollywood bachelor...
820
01:01:45,900 --> 01:01:48,000
date all the hot young starlets.
821
01:01:48,100 --> 01:01:51,900
Well, let me remind you not to overlook
the charms of the slightly older woman...
822
01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:56,400
who more than makes up with experience
what she may lack in other arenas.
823
01:01:56,500 --> 01:01:58,900
Okay, Miss Jane.
824
01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:01,200
No problem.
825
01:02:01,300 --> 01:02:05,800
- Oh, please, let me.
- Tyler, clam it. It's showtime.
826
01:02:12,000 --> 01:02:15,000
Miss Laurette?
Why are you cryin'?
827
01:02:16,900 --> 01:02:19,800
I- I have just spoken
with your father.
828
01:02:19,900 --> 01:02:23,200
And he says I would make
ze best wife for him.
829
01:02:23,300 --> 01:02:27,500
- He did?
- But as happy as I would make him...
830
01:02:27,600 --> 01:02:33,100
I am afraid that you will think I'm too young
and beautiful to be your mother.
831
01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:40,300
Who'd of thought it...
Miss Laurette and my pa? Hmm.
832
01:02:41,800 --> 01:02:45,200
Oh, where is he? Oh.
833
01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:50,000
So I can call you whenever I want?
You'll hotfoot it right over?
834
01:02:50,100 --> 01:02:53,800
- Mm-hmm.
- Hot dog.
835
01:02:53,900 --> 01:02:56,400
Thank you.
836
01:02:58,900 --> 01:03:03,700
I will miss Elly May so much
when you find yourself a wife.
837
01:03:03,800 --> 01:03:09,500
- And I will miss you too.
- I hadn't thought about you not bein' here.
838
01:03:09,600 --> 01:03:12,400
It's sure been a pleasure
to have you stay with us.
839
01:03:12,500 --> 01:03:14,200
Thank you.
840
01:03:14,300 --> 01:03:16,200
Jed?
841
01:03:16,300 --> 01:03:19,400
Elly May said ze strangest thing
to me tonight.
842
01:03:19,500 --> 01:03:22,300
She said she would love
for me to be her mother.
843
01:03:22,400 --> 01:03:27,100
I'm sure she'll get over the disappointment
in whomever you choose.
844
01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:32,000
I love Elly May
just like a daughter.
845
01:03:32,100 --> 01:03:34,300
Perhaps you should
speak with her.
846
01:03:34,400 --> 01:03:36,600
I'll do that.
847
01:03:45,100 --> 01:03:47,300
Well.
848
01:03:47,400 --> 01:03:49,300
This here's a big night for you...
849
01:03:49,400 --> 01:03:53,700
all dressed up and ladylike
at your first Beverly Hills social.
850
01:03:53,800 --> 01:03:56,400
Your ma would be so proud.
851
01:03:56,500 --> 01:04:00,300
Thanks, Pa. Miss Laurette said
she was right proud too.
852
01:04:00,400 --> 01:04:03,100
You like her, don't you?
853
01:04:03,200 --> 01:04:06,900
Well, I like her just fine,
and I guess you like her too.
854
01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:08,900
I certainly do.
855
01:04:10,700 --> 01:04:13,100
All I want is for you
to be happy, Elly May.
856
01:04:13,200 --> 01:04:16,800
I just want you
to be happy, Pa.
857
01:04:16,900 --> 01:04:19,500
Well, I reckon
there's no time like right now.
858
01:04:24,500 --> 01:04:27,100
- Happy birthday, jed.
- Happy birthday.
859
01:04:35,400 --> 01:04:36,800
Oh!
860
01:04:58,000 --> 01:05:01,200
Well, I got a feeling you're
worth every dime of it too.
861
01:05:01,300 --> 01:05:04,400
Step up here. Let me take
a good look at you.
862
01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:07,700
Boy, you're looking good
on your birthday.
863
01:05:07,800 --> 01:05:10,600
I think we need a speech,
don't you? Speech.
864
01:05:14,800 --> 01:05:18,500
You know, I have more
than any one man deserves...
865
01:05:18,600 --> 01:05:21,500
yet there is something
I'd like for my birthday.
866
01:05:21,600 --> 01:05:27,000
I'd like to ask the one who helped Elly May
become a lady to be my wife.
867
01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:32,600
Miss Laurette Voleur.
868
01:05:32,700 --> 01:05:35,600
Oh, I am so surprised.
869
01:05:37,000 --> 01:05:39,500
This is ze happiest day
of my life.
870
01:05:42,900 --> 01:05:44,800
Huh?
871
01:05:44,900 --> 01:05:48,400
All right.
Congratulations.
872
01:06:43,900 --> 01:06:46,700
- You don't say.
- I do say!
873
01:06:46,800 --> 01:06:48,900
Well, I'll be.
Who's he marrying?
874
01:06:49,000 --> 01:06:52,900
Oh, some foozy
with a fancy accent.
875
01:06:53,000 --> 01:06:55,200
She seems sneaky to me.
I don't trust her.
876
01:06:55,300 --> 01:06:57,500
Oh, Granny, you
don't trust anybody.
877
01:06:57,600 --> 01:06:59,900
Never mind about that.
878
01:07:00,000 --> 01:07:03,800
I'm invitin' you to the weddin'
and the cousins.
879
01:07:03,900 --> 01:07:08,500
But just from Jed's side,
not includin' the Kelloggs nor the Daggs.
880
01:07:08,600 --> 01:07:11,700
Now, Granny, you're not gonna
get into your tonic...
881
01:07:11,800 --> 01:07:14,300
and disappear like you did when Jed
married your daughter, are ya?
882
01:07:19,600 --> 01:07:22,300
Jethrine, your UncleJed's
gettin' married.
883
01:07:25,000 --> 01:07:27,700
I always cry at weddings.
884
01:07:27,800 --> 01:07:30,300
Oh, now, honey.
885
01:07:30,400 --> 01:07:33,200
I do.
886
01:07:37,100 --> 01:07:40,100
Well, you got both kinds
of chickens here, Jed.
887
01:07:40,200 --> 01:07:43,200
- White and the brown.
- What you got there, son?
888
01:07:43,300 --> 01:07:46,900
Oh, it's just a standard
prenuptial agreement.
889
01:07:47,000 --> 01:07:52,200
Miss Hathaway said for you not to tell
anyone that you signed it, not even her.
890
01:07:52,300 --> 01:07:57,500
Well, if Miss Hathaway says so,
I don't even have to read this. It must be fine.
891
01:08:01,700 --> 01:08:05,800
They'll be comin' from miles around
to get my expert doctorin'...
892
01:08:05,900 --> 01:08:08,700
and I won't
turn a one away.
893
01:08:08,800 --> 01:08:12,400
I done took me the "hypocritter" oath
to help everybody.
894
01:08:17,000 --> 01:08:19,400
Kinda weak.
895
01:08:19,500 --> 01:08:24,600
Probably good enough for city folk.
896
01:08:24,700 --> 01:08:26,700
Tyler.!
897
01:08:29,000 --> 01:08:31,600
Did you get him
to sign the papers?
898
01:08:31,700 --> 01:08:34,800
Oh, yeah.
He's a very trusting man.
899
01:08:34,900 --> 01:08:37,000
He thinks everyone's honest.
900
01:08:37,100 --> 01:08:40,600
That's a quality I admire in a man
I'm taking advantage of.
901
01:08:40,700 --> 01:08:43,800
Hey, uh, you're not
sleeping with him, are you?
902
01:08:43,900 --> 01:08:47,800
Tyler, you know once I move in with a man,
I stop having sex with him.
903
01:08:47,900 --> 01:08:49,900
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
904
01:08:50,000 --> 01:08:55,500
- Keep your mind on business. Now go.
- Hey, wait.
905
01:08:55,600 --> 01:08:59,800
- How about a little good-bye kiss?
- All right.
906
01:09:01,600 --> 01:09:03,700
I knowed it!
I knowed it!
907
01:09:03,800 --> 01:09:06,800
I done catched you red-handed,
you two-timin' hussy!
908
01:09:06,900 --> 01:09:10,400
When I inform jed, the weddin'will be off!
909
01:09:10,500 --> 01:09:12,700
Let's get her.
910
01:09:12,800 --> 01:09:15,600
Uh-oh. Oh.
911
01:09:18,800 --> 01:09:21,000
No! No! No!
912
01:09:25,300 --> 01:09:27,600
Shut up, you old hag.!
913
01:09:27,700 --> 01:09:31,200
We got just the place for you.
914
01:09:31,300 --> 01:09:33,200
Let me down!
915
01:09:38,900 --> 01:09:41,300
I've already input the info
into the computer.
916
01:09:41,400 --> 01:09:44,800
Soon as you say "I do"... bing!
I press "Enter. "
917
01:09:44,900 --> 01:09:47,500
Boom! The money goes
via modem to Switzerland.
918
01:09:47,600 --> 01:09:50,900
Bing, bang, boom.
We're rich!
919
01:09:52,900 --> 01:09:55,200
- Oh.
- Look at those legs.
920
01:09:55,300 --> 01:09:58,300
I can't wait to get them
wrapped around me.
921
01:09:58,400 --> 01:10:00,900
Get her off of me!
922
01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:03,600
- Get those legs off him!
- She's got crap on her boots!
923
01:10:07,400 --> 01:10:10,500
She doesn't even think we're her grandchildren.
924
01:10:10,600 --> 01:10:13,300
And you say you fear
for your lives?
925
01:10:13,400 --> 01:10:17,500
Yes. I'm afraid the poor old dear
tried to shoot us with a shotgun.
926
01:10:17,600 --> 01:10:19,600
Are there any other
indications of dementia?
927
01:10:19,700 --> 01:10:22,500
Last week, we caught her
trying to eat a raccoon.
928
01:10:22,600 --> 01:10:25,500
- Really?
- She calls us kidnappers.
929
01:10:25,600 --> 01:10:28,000
They are! They are!
The old buzzards are!
930
01:10:28,100 --> 01:10:30,400
- Wait, now.
- Grandma, please.
931
01:10:30,500 --> 01:10:33,300
Ow! She bit me again, honey!
932
01:10:33,400 --> 01:10:35,700
Better check her for rabies.
933
01:10:35,800 --> 01:10:37,900
- Get two orderlies in here stat!
- Poor old dear.
934
01:10:41,200 --> 01:10:44,700
We can't take the heartbreak a minute longer.
We need to admit her someplace...
935
01:10:44,800 --> 01:10:48,600
where she can be kept in a straitjacket
away from sharp objects and pay phones.
936
01:10:48,700 --> 01:10:52,000
From what you've told me,
I'd say that your grandmother...
937
01:10:52,100 --> 01:10:57,800
is a perfect candidate
for, uh, electroshock therapy.
938
01:11:02,200 --> 01:11:06,300
And nobody... I repeat nobody... is allowed
into the Clampett estate without an invitation.
939
01:11:06,400 --> 01:11:09,400
Sans invitation, non.
940
01:11:09,500 --> 01:11:12,300
Miss jane, this fella's all mad at me
'cause I opened up...
941
01:11:12,400 --> 01:11:14,000
this box of wedding food...
942
01:11:14,200 --> 01:11:16,600
but there ain't nothin' in there
but a bunch of snails.
943
01:11:16,800 --> 01:11:20,700
I think the snails got up in there
and et all the food.
944
01:11:21,900 --> 01:11:24,400
No problem. Jethro,
we'll just buy some more.
945
01:11:24,500 --> 01:11:27,200
And, Henri, the snails go back
to the garden where they belong...
946
01:11:27,300 --> 01:11:30,100
s'il vous pl�it.
947
01:11:30,200 --> 01:11:32,000
To your posts.
948
01:11:32,100 --> 01:11:36,300
Everything's going fine,
but I have one small question.
949
01:11:36,400 --> 01:11:41,100
Granny has not been available for her
fitting, and the wedding is tomorrow.
950
01:11:41,200 --> 01:11:45,400
Hmm. Come to think of it, I ain't seen
hide nor hair of Granny since yesterday.
951
01:11:45,500 --> 01:11:48,100
And you're not concerned?
952
01:11:48,200 --> 01:11:52,600
No. She done the same thing
when I married Elly May's ma.
953
01:11:52,700 --> 01:11:55,600
Came pourin' in
about three days later...
954
01:11:55,700 --> 01:11:59,100
naked as a jaybird and
reeking of her medicine.
955
01:11:59,200 --> 01:12:02,300
Hmm.
956
01:12:36,300 --> 01:12:38,600
Play it, George.!
957
01:12:51,200 --> 01:12:52,800
Whoo!
958
01:13:20,800 --> 01:13:23,600
Miss Hathaway, if the immediate family
isn't concerned enough...
959
01:13:23,700 --> 01:13:26,000
to file a missing persons report,
then there's nothing we can do.
960
01:13:26,200 --> 01:13:28,300
But, Captain Gallo,
I suspect foul play.
961
01:13:28,500 --> 01:13:31,400
I'm sorry,
but my hands are tied.
962
01:13:36,800 --> 01:13:42,500
But if you're desperate,
you might try this guy.
963
01:13:42,600 --> 01:13:47,800
He's expensive, but he's also the best
private investigator around.
964
01:13:58,400 --> 01:14:01,300
Oh, this case was pretty easy
to crack, Miss Hathaway.
965
01:14:01,400 --> 01:14:06,100
I have met unsavory characters before,
but she takes the cake.
966
01:14:07,700 --> 01:14:10,900
Laurette Voleur,
a. k. a. Laura Jackson.
967
01:14:11,000 --> 01:14:13,800
A.k. a. Lili Lebecque.
968
01:14:13,900 --> 01:14:17,900
Married 12 times to any guy
with a little extra money to throw around.
969
01:14:18,000 --> 01:14:20,100
I should've known.
970
01:14:20,200 --> 01:14:25,100
Voleur. French for "thief. "
Now what about Granny?
971
01:14:25,200 --> 01:14:30,100
The old lady is being forcibly held
at the Los Viejos Retirement Home...
972
01:14:30,200 --> 01:14:34,100
a disreputable establishment,
often cited for patient abuse.
973
01:14:34,200 --> 01:14:37,100
Be tough to break her out.
974
01:14:37,200 --> 01:14:41,100
What a calamity,
and the wedding is just hours away.
975
01:14:44,800 --> 01:14:49,500
Reverend, do you think Cousin Bill's gonna
be too busy to make it to the weddin'?
976
01:14:56,300 --> 01:14:58,800
Hillary, where did I put that invitation?
977
01:15:01,900 --> 01:15:04,200
Flowers, come here. Quick.
978
01:15:04,300 --> 01:15:08,300
They need tent stakes
in the backyard right now. Let's go.
979
01:15:14,800 --> 01:15:18,200
Hello. Clampett residence.
Mr. Drysdale?
980
01:15:18,300 --> 01:15:22,000
- I have an urgent call for Mr. Drysdale.
- I'll take that.
981
01:15:22,100 --> 01:15:25,500
He works for me.
982
01:15:25,600 --> 01:15:28,600
- Woody Tyler. Can I help you?
- Tyler, what are you doing there?
983
01:15:28,700 --> 01:15:31,300
Um, I just dropped by
to see if I could be of help.
984
01:15:31,400 --> 01:15:34,200
Tell Mr. Drysdale
to stop the wedding.
985
01:15:34,300 --> 01:15:39,000
- Okay.
- Laurette is a phony who is after Mr. Clampett's money.
986
01:15:39,100 --> 01:15:41,500
Well, that's not good.
987
01:15:41,600 --> 01:15:45,200
- Do it, Tyler, or your job is toast.
- I got it.
988
01:15:49,800 --> 01:15:52,200
- She's getting fat, Mom.
- Where is Hathaway?
989
01:15:52,300 --> 01:15:54,100
She was supposed
to check in with me hours ago.
990
01:15:54,200 --> 01:15:57,200
- Well, I don't know, dear.
- Mr. Drysdale.
991
01:15:57,300 --> 01:16:00,000
- What do you want, Tyler?
- Miss Hathaway called.
992
01:16:00,100 --> 01:16:02,600
She said something had come up and to go
ahead and start the wedding without her.
993
01:16:02,700 --> 01:16:05,300
- Well, what could have come up?
- I wish I knew.
994
01:16:05,400 --> 01:16:08,000
My, what a lovely dog.
995
01:16:08,100 --> 01:16:10,300
Oh, thank you.
996
01:16:10,400 --> 01:16:12,900
Tyler, make yourself useful.
Go count the olives.
997
01:16:13,000 --> 01:16:14,900
Oh, yeah. Right away.
998
01:16:15,000 --> 01:16:17,600
Oh, I hate that little worm.
999
01:16:17,700 --> 01:16:21,400
What could possibly be more important
than this to Miss Hathaway?
1000
01:16:34,600 --> 01:16:38,100
- Look at that. New nurse.
- Yeah.
1001
01:16:38,200 --> 01:16:43,800
- Howdy, Mama!
- My baby! Oh! Why!
1002
01:16:43,900 --> 01:16:46,800
My goodness, Beverly Hills
has made you so sophisticated.
1003
01:16:46,900 --> 01:16:49,800
Doesn't your twin brother
look handsome?
1004
01:16:49,900 --> 01:16:52,000
- Hi, jethro.
- Give him a kiss, Jethrine.
1005
01:16:52,200 --> 01:16:55,800
Howdy, Jethro.
1006
01:17:05,700 --> 01:17:08,200
Oh, excuse me.
1007
01:17:12,000 --> 01:17:14,400
- I reckon.
- Yep.
1008
01:17:15,900 --> 01:17:17,600
Young man...
1009
01:17:17,700 --> 01:17:21,300
I am here to see
Daisy Mae Moses.
1010
01:17:21,400 --> 01:17:23,900
Ah, then you must be here
for the rabies test.
1011
01:17:24,000 --> 01:17:27,600
Yes. Rabies test.
Exactly right.
1012
01:17:27,700 --> 01:17:29,800
Then you want Room 525.
1013
01:17:32,000 --> 01:17:34,100
Oh, nurse.
1014
01:17:34,200 --> 01:17:36,500
Better be careful.
She's a wild one.
1015
01:17:36,600 --> 01:17:39,500
We had to give her
electroshock therapy.
1016
01:17:39,600 --> 01:17:42,900
Thank you.
1017
01:17:54,100 --> 01:17:57,400
- Excuse me.
- No problem.
1018
01:18:00,500 --> 01:18:04,300
My God.
Oh, Granny.
1019
01:18:07,000 --> 01:18:10,800
Your elixir.
1020
01:18:13,300 --> 01:18:16,200
I will take you
out of here immediately.
1021
01:18:16,300 --> 01:18:18,200
Your hair is just
a bit disheveled.
1022
01:18:18,300 --> 01:18:21,800
Miss Jane?
Is that you?
1023
01:18:21,900 --> 01:18:24,900
- 'Tis I.
- Oh!
1024
01:18:27,500 --> 01:18:32,400
- Granny says she don't trust Miss Laurette.
- Oh.
1025
01:18:32,500 --> 01:18:37,000
Take off that silly hat.
1026
01:18:46,900 --> 01:18:50,000
I heard she's so skinny, you couldn't
hit her with a handful of corn.
1027
01:18:55,200 --> 01:19:00,000
Look where they're parking the cars.
My God, how tacky.
1028
01:19:01,400 --> 01:19:03,900
This place is turning into a zoo.
1029
01:19:04,000 --> 01:19:08,100
I think she's tryin' to
take him for all he's got.
1030
01:19:08,200 --> 01:19:09,800
Hmm.
1031
01:19:19,600 --> 01:19:21,900
Hi there, handsome.
1032
01:19:22,000 --> 01:19:25,200
- You mind if I sit in this chair?
- This chair?
1033
01:19:25,300 --> 01:19:27,900
- I was kind of saving...
- Thank you.
1034
01:19:30,300 --> 01:19:32,500
Lovely wedding, isn't it?
1035
01:19:34,200 --> 01:19:36,200
Go.
1036
01:19:40,200 --> 01:19:44,200
Oh. We've got to get back.
1037
01:19:44,300 --> 01:19:46,800
I called. I told them
to stop the wedding...
1038
01:19:46,900 --> 01:19:48,700
but that Tyler
is so incompetent.
1039
01:19:48,800 --> 01:19:52,400
Tyler? Him and Laurette's the ones
that stuck me in this hellhole!
1040
01:19:52,500 --> 01:19:55,900
So, stabbed in the back
by one of our own.
1041
01:19:56,000 --> 01:19:58,500
And she ain't no foreigner.
1042
01:19:58,600 --> 01:20:00,900
There they are.
Stop them.
1043
01:20:26,600 --> 01:20:29,000
Jethro, hold up.
1044
01:20:53,300 --> 01:20:55,600
- Come on. Come on.
- Oh, there she is.
1045
01:20:55,700 --> 01:20:58,900
- Come on. Come on. Come on.
- Oh, she looks beautiful.
1046
01:21:00,700 --> 01:21:05,100
Oh, I've got the vapors.
1047
01:21:24,500 --> 01:21:26,900
My makeup.
1048
01:21:27,000 --> 01:21:30,000
Oh.
1049
01:21:30,100 --> 01:21:34,200
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here
in case of an emergency.
1050
01:21:34,300 --> 01:21:37,800
"Oxygen masks will fall from
the overhead compartment.
1051
01:21:37,900 --> 01:21:41,400
"Your seat cushion can be
used as a floatin'device.
1052
01:21:41,500 --> 01:21:43,600
- Thus sayeth the Lord. "
- Excuse me, Reverend.
1053
01:21:43,700 --> 01:21:46,800
But I believe you're readin'
the airplane safety instructions.
1054
01:21:46,900 --> 01:21:50,000
May we skip this part?
1055
01:21:50,100 --> 01:21:53,700
Hathaway had better have
a good excuse for not being here.
1056
01:21:55,000 --> 01:21:57,600
Quick, Granny, hurry.!
1057
01:21:59,700 --> 01:22:01,800
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Can I see your invitations, please?
1058
01:22:01,900 --> 01:22:05,600
I'll handle this, Granny. Young man, have you
any idea with whom you're speaking?
1059
01:22:05,700 --> 01:22:09,100
I'd say one crazy lady
and another one with a bad wig.
1060
01:22:09,200 --> 01:22:11,800
Every strand of
this here hair is mine!
1061
01:22:11,900 --> 01:22:13,900
- Ow!
- Oh... Oh, Granny, no, no, no!
1062
01:22:14,000 --> 01:22:16,600
No, Granny, no! No, Granny, no!
We'll find another way.
1063
01:22:16,700 --> 01:22:20,700
"We are gathered here
to unite these two in holy matrimony. "
1064
01:22:24,100 --> 01:22:26,400
- Can we hurry things up, please?
- Yes, ma'am.
1065
01:22:28,100 --> 01:22:31,300
Come on. Come on, baby.
1066
01:22:31,400 --> 01:22:34,400
"If any one of y'all has one good reason
these two shouldn't be hitched... "
1067
01:22:34,500 --> 01:22:36,900
and it darn tootin'
better be a good reason...
1068
01:22:37,000 --> 01:22:40,300
"then speak now or forever
hold your peace. "
1069
01:22:42,500 --> 01:22:46,000
- All right, then. "I now pronounce you... "
- Please. Please. Please.
1070
01:22:46,100 --> 01:22:48,200
"man and... "
1071
01:22:48,300 --> 01:22:49,900
What in tarnation is that?
1072
01:22:53,700 --> 01:22:57,700
Charge!
1073
01:23:31,900 --> 01:23:34,500
Come on, Granny!
1074
01:23:34,600 --> 01:23:37,000
It is I, Jane Hathaway.
1075
01:23:37,100 --> 01:23:39,400
Hathaway,
have you lost your mind?
1076
01:23:39,500 --> 01:23:43,300
She's an impostor. She's marrying
Mr. Clampett just to steal his money.
1077
01:23:43,400 --> 01:23:47,600
- That sidewinder Tyler helped her!
- I'm ruined!
1078
01:23:47,700 --> 01:23:49,500
Milburn! Milburn!
1079
01:23:52,100 --> 01:23:55,000
Tyler. Let's set up the computer
and push the button.
1080
01:23:55,100 --> 01:23:57,300
If I can't have their money,
nobody should.
1081
01:23:57,500 --> 01:24:00,100
Quick!
1082
01:24:00,200 --> 01:24:01,700
Okay.
1083
01:24:01,800 --> 01:24:05,100
We'll send their billion bucks
bouncin'around so many banks...
1084
01:24:05,200 --> 01:24:08,100
- they'll never find it.
- It's all set.
1085
01:24:08,200 --> 01:24:12,000
All we got to do is push that button.
1086
01:24:12,100 --> 01:24:14,600
You rustic, nose-picking,
inbred yokels!
1087
01:24:14,700 --> 01:24:19,000
- You're all about to be poor again.
- Think again.
1088
01:24:33,100 --> 01:24:36,100
No, you don't,
you schemin'skunk.!
1089
01:24:36,200 --> 01:24:38,200
Wait'll I get my hands on you!
1090
01:24:38,300 --> 01:24:41,700
Oh, Pa, you must be
so disappointed.
1091
01:24:41,800 --> 01:24:43,900
A little.
1092
01:24:44,000 --> 01:24:46,600
But, Elly May, I was mainly
marryin' Miss Laurette...
1093
01:24:46,700 --> 01:24:49,300
'cause I thought you wanted her
for your new ma.
1094
01:24:51,900 --> 01:24:54,700
- I'm so sorry, Pa.
- Don't be sorry.
1095
01:24:54,800 --> 01:24:57,000
I love you
just the way you are.
1096
01:24:57,100 --> 01:24:59,800
I reckon I oughta raise you up
to be who you want to be.
1097
01:24:59,900 --> 01:25:04,200
Well, I don't need a new ma,
not as long as I got you and Granny.
1098
01:25:06,100 --> 01:25:09,700
Hot dog, Miss Jane!
You sure are a good shot.
1099
01:25:09,800 --> 01:25:11,900
Well, thank you, Jethro.
1100
01:25:12,100 --> 01:25:13,000
- Whoo!
- Got ya!
1101
01:25:13,200 --> 01:25:16,300
Well, folks,
I guess you can say...
1102
01:25:16,400 --> 01:25:19,100
things didn't turn out
quite the way we planned.
1103
01:25:19,200 --> 01:25:23,600
So, since there ain't
gonna be no hitchin'...
1104
01:25:23,700 --> 01:25:26,000
and we're all here anyway...
1105
01:25:28,000 --> 01:25:32,600
I say we have
one hellacious shindig.
1106
01:25:32,700 --> 01:25:34,900
Yeah.!
1107
01:25:41,200 --> 01:25:45,300
- Let go of me.!
- Here, boys. She's all yours!
1108
01:25:52,600 --> 01:25:54,500
Let go of my hand!
1109
01:26:10,500 --> 01:26:13,400
- Hey! Nobody treats my pa that way!
- Shut up!
1110
01:26:19,000 --> 01:26:22,100
How's that for ladylike,
you old money-grubber?
1111
01:26:27,900 --> 01:26:30,500
Come on, city boy,
let's dance.
1112
01:26:30,600 --> 01:26:33,000
All right, stand back!
1113
01:26:38,300 --> 01:26:40,500
You're under arrest
for kidnapping...
1114
01:26:40,600 --> 01:26:42,500
attempted embezzlement
and fraud.
1115
01:26:42,600 --> 01:26:45,900
Oh, right.!
It was all Tyler's idea.
1116
01:26:52,600 --> 01:26:55,500
I admit it freely.
It was all her idea.
1117
01:26:55,600 --> 01:27:00,300
I always fall in love
with the wrong kind of man.
1118
01:27:00,400 --> 01:27:03,100
- Clean up that cake.
- Don't step on the train.
1119
01:27:03,200 --> 01:27:07,200
I'll wait for you, honey.
1120
01:27:10,600 --> 01:27:14,200
Well, where was she? She... Oh.!
1121
01:27:14,300 --> 01:27:18,100
- Oh, well...
- Whee doggie!
1122
01:27:32,700 --> 01:27:35,500
Whoo.! Yeah.! That's good.
1123
01:27:48,300 --> 01:27:50,900
Thank you.
1124
01:27:51,000 --> 01:27:54,900
That's just about right.
Oops!
1125
01:27:55,000 --> 01:27:58,000
It's a shame they had to
file for bankruptcy.
1126
01:27:58,100 --> 01:28:00,800
I just hope my call to
the I.R.S. didn't have...
1127
01:28:00,900 --> 01:28:03,600
- Oh, I shouldn't open it. Sorry.
- No problem. We'll do it again.
1128
01:28:03,700 --> 01:28:05,200
But I got there...
1129
01:28:05,300 --> 01:28:08,100
That old lady is, uh...
1130
01:28:08,200 --> 01:28:10,900
That old lady is...
I'm sorry.
1131
01:28:11,000 --> 01:28:13,400
- That's okay.
- She's gettin' pretty old by now, I'll tell ya.
1132
01:28:13,500 --> 01:28:15,500
Still rolling.
1133
01:28:17,200 --> 01:28:20,700
- Okay. Give me a big smile.
- I can't get any bigger.
1134
01:28:25,500 --> 01:28:27,800
So, uh, what happened?
1135
01:28:27,900 --> 01:28:31,400
Actually, he slapped me.
1136
01:28:38,000 --> 01:28:41,100
Why don't you come up here?
Let me take a good look at you.
1137
01:28:43,000 --> 01:28:46,200
Jim. Jim? They're gettin'worried about you.
1138
01:28:50,800 --> 01:28:54,300
- Not even a bridesmaid.
- I gotta do this again.
1139
01:29:04,500 --> 01:29:06,600
Action.!
1140
01:29:10,000 --> 01:29:12,200
We've got... No,
we've got to get back.
1141
01:29:12,300 --> 01:29:14,900
I called, I told them
to postpone the...
1142
01:29:15,000 --> 01:29:16,900
- I lost my purse.
- It's right here.
1143
01:29:17,000 --> 01:29:20,300
- How did you get it?
- I don't know.
1144
01:29:20,400 --> 01:29:23,800
Jethro?
Come on down here.
1145
01:29:23,900 --> 01:29:26,100
Likely as not, there's
another family lives up here...
1146
01:29:26,200 --> 01:29:28,000
there.