1 00:00:46,464 --> 00:00:49,341 [music playing] 2 00:00:55,473 --> 00:00:58,350 [siren wailing] 3 00:01:01,771 --> 00:01:04,481 ♪ There's no ground when you fall for me ♪ 4 00:01:05,858 --> 00:01:08,818 ♪ You'll be fallin' for miles ♪ 5 00:01:08,903 --> 00:01:09,903 [eerie laughter] 6 00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:12,781 ♪ I’m bewitched by your misery ♪ 7 00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:18,286 ♪ But I love it when you smile ♪ 8 00:01:18,371 --> 00:01:20,956 ♪ Let me know what you want from me ♪ 9 00:01:22,458 --> 00:01:26,086 ♪ Whisper low in my ears ♪ 10 00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:28,838 ♪ Before you try to get your hooks in me ♪ 11 00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:35,095 ♪ I should warn you, my dear ♪ 12 00:01:35,179 --> 00:01:38,556 ♪ My heart is a haunted house ♪ 13 00:01:38,641 --> 00:01:42,477 ♪ Once you're in, you ain't gettin' out ♪ 14 00:01:42,561 --> 00:01:46,189 ♪ It's the trap you've been waiting for ♪ 15 00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:49,985 ♪ Ain't no windows, ain't no doors ♪ 16 00:01:50,069 --> 00:01:53,029 ♪ No escapin' the way you feel ♪ 17 00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:58,368 ♪ It's like a dream But you hope it's real ♪ 18 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,578 ♪ My, my, my heart ♪ 19 00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:04,416 ♪ M-M-M-M-My heart ♪ 20 00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:08,378 ♪ Is a haunted house ♪ 21 00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:12,590 ♪ M-M-M-M-My heart ♪ 22 00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:16,469 ♪ Is a haunted house ♪ 23 00:02:29,859 --> 00:02:33,653 [playing wedding processional] 24 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:36,740 My love. 25 00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:39,117 Cara mia. 26 00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:42,203 [gasps] The ring! The ring! Oh, no! No, no, no! 27 00:02:49,879 --> 00:02:53,256 Oh, Thing. Best hand always has the ring. 28 00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:05,894 Dearly be-loathed, 29 00:03:06,437 --> 00:03:11,191 it is indeed a rare privilege to see our family gathered together 30 00:03:11,275 --> 00:03:13,610 for this Addams tradition. 31 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,904 To commence this ceremony 32 00:03:15,988 --> 00:03:21,659 and deliver these two into the yawning void of matrimony, 33 00:03:21,744 --> 00:03:23,953 we put the lime in the coconut 34 00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:26,331 and drink them both up. 35 00:03:26,999 --> 00:03:28,124 [slurps] 36 00:03:28,209 --> 00:03:30,585 [all slurping] 37 00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:31,920 [sobs] 38 00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:35,924 I now pronounce you... 39 00:03:36,008 --> 00:03:37,717 - [man] Monster! - [woman] Freak! 40 00:03:38,511 --> 00:03:40,804 - You've been here long enough! - We've had enough of your kind! 41 00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:42,639 Addams aren't wanted here! 42 00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:44,099 Leave already! 43 00:03:44,183 --> 00:03:45,642 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 44 00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:47,894 Quick, put the lime in the coconut and drink them both up. 45 00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:54,609 Sorry. I couldn't help myself. 46 00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:56,236 [man] This is our home! 47 00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:01,741 Everyone, to the bridge! 48 00:04:05,830 --> 00:04:06,871 Fire! 49 00:04:11,127 --> 00:04:13,503 [screaming] 50 00:04:23,973 --> 00:04:27,725 You two love-bats better fly out of here. I'll hold them off. 51 00:04:27,810 --> 00:04:29,102 Mazurka! 52 00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:30,520 [exclaiming] 53 00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:35,024 Grab onto my hairy hump! 54 00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:39,070 [Fester grunts] 55 00:04:40,239 --> 00:04:42,657 [Fester] I think I can see my house from here. 56 00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:44,951 Oh, no, that's a women's prison. 57 00:04:45,578 --> 00:04:46,744 Oh, Gomez. 58 00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:49,998 Why do hordes of angry villagers follow us everywhere we go? 59 00:04:50,082 --> 00:04:53,668 We are safe, my love. That is all that matters. 60 00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:57,505 I want to find a new home that is shrouded from the world. 61 00:04:57,590 --> 00:05:00,508 Someplace that is truly us. 62 00:05:00,593 --> 00:05:02,677 Yes! Somewhere horrible! 63 00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:04,220 Somewhere corrupt! 64 00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:08,475 Somewhere that no one in their right mind would be caught dead in! 65 00:05:19,111 --> 00:05:20,695 [Gomez] Unhappy, darling? 66 00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:23,114 [Morticia] Yes. Completely. 67 00:05:23,616 --> 00:05:26,784 Oh, Gomez, you have torn down my walls 68 00:05:26,869 --> 00:05:29,496 and stabbed your name onto my heart. 69 00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:31,414 [kissing] 70 00:05:31,499 --> 00:05:35,752 [Gomez] My wan temptress. Your hand is as cold as a dead fish. 71 00:05:36,295 --> 00:05:39,047 My love, that is a dead fish. 72 00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:41,758 So it is. 73 00:05:47,056 --> 00:05:51,851 Darling? Is that a wrinkle I see on your pallid brow? 74 00:05:52,353 --> 00:05:53,394 What's wrong? 75 00:05:53,479 --> 00:05:55,480 We can't run forever, my love. 76 00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:57,315 I want a home again. 77 00:05:57,399 --> 00:06:00,443 I want our children to grow up in peace. 78 00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:02,445 I want to pick out cemetery plots. 79 00:06:02,530 --> 00:06:06,741 Morticia, I swear on my life I will find us a new home. 80 00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:08,826 And your every wish shall be granted. 81 00:06:09,495 --> 00:06:11,037 - Mon amour. - [Gomez gasps] 82 00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:12,539 French? 83 00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:14,874 You know what that does to me. 84 00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:17,043 [Morticia] Nouveau riche. 85 00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:19,754 - Je ne sais quoi. - ["Wild Thing" by The Troggs plays] 86 00:06:30,432 --> 00:06:32,267 - [Morticia gasps] We hit something. - We hit something. 87 00:06:32,351 --> 00:06:34,644 [engine sputters, wheezes, stops] 88 00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:41,276 Is he all right? 89 00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:44,654 No, he seems perfectly demented. 90 00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:48,700 "State Hospital for the Criminally Insane. " 91 00:06:48,784 --> 00:06:49,993 Gomez? 92 00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:55,915 [Gomez] That must be the asylum. 93 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:59,919 Oh, thank goodness. A decent place to sleep for the night. 94 00:07:00,004 --> 00:07:02,463 [growls] 95 00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:05,967 Mmm? 96 00:07:06,677 --> 00:07:08,761 Thank you, old boy. Lead the way. 97 00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:11,931 [groans] 98 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,152 [engine sputters, wheezes, stops] 99 00:07:26,989 --> 00:07:29,449 It's quiet. Too quiet. 100 00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:31,284 Must be the off-season. 101 00:07:40,002 --> 00:07:41,169 [Gomez] Hello? 102 00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:46,507 There's no one here. 103 00:07:46,592 --> 00:07:48,217 Could it be abandoned? 104 00:07:48,761 --> 00:07:50,053 [Gomez] It's creepy. 105 00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:52,639 - Kooky. - [Morticia] Mysterious. 106 00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:54,390 Spooky. 107 00:07:55,434 --> 00:07:57,560 [organ playing] 108 00:08:05,027 --> 00:08:06,194 [music stops] 109 00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:13,242 [opening four notes of "Beethoven's Fifth Symphony"] 110 00:08:15,788 --> 00:08:19,040 [Bach's "Toccata and Fugue in D Minor" ] 111 00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:23,419 ["The Entertainer"] 112 00:08:24,296 --> 00:08:26,381 ["Hallelujah Chorus"] 113 00:08:26,465 --> 00:08:27,799 ["Mexican Hand-Clapping Song"] 114 00:08:27,883 --> 00:08:29,634 ["The Star-Spangled Banner"] 115 00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:31,177 ["Charge"] 116 00:08:42,648 --> 00:08:44,357 [plays The Addams Familytheme song] 117 00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:57,161 [distorted yelling] Get out! 118 00:08:58,080 --> 00:08:59,414 It's hideous. 119 00:08:59,498 --> 00:09:00,748 It's horrible. 120 00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:03,000 - It's home. - It's home. 121 00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:05,962 [theme song continues] 122 00:09:30,696 --> 00:09:32,113 [growling] 123 00:09:51,175 --> 00:09:52,508 [baby coos] 124 00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:33,966 [thunderclap] 125 00:10:47,731 --> 00:10:50,107 What a lovely morning! 126 00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:54,904 Nice try. 127 00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:58,866 [house spirit] Get out! 128 00:10:58,951 --> 00:11:01,828 Oh, you're always so grumpy before your morning coffee. 129 00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:12,463 Better. 130 00:11:12,548 --> 00:11:15,049 [spirit takes deep breath] 131 00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:17,176 [sighs] 132 00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:27,186 [honking] 133 00:11:27,271 --> 00:11:28,980 [groans] 134 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,066 Lurch, it's time for breakfast. 135 00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:52,253 [Morticia] Thing. 136 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,715 Have Ichabod wake the children. 137 00:11:59,094 --> 00:12:01,637 Lurch, would you mind dusting the house? 138 00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,180 [grunts] 139 00:12:11,189 --> 00:12:12,982 Slowly, Cleopatra. 140 00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:16,068 I wouldn't want my favorite African Strangler to choke. 141 00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:34,545 [snoring] 142 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:56,651 Huh? Aah! 143 00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:01,072 All right, Ichabod. I'm awake. 144 00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:02,365 Not for long! 145 00:13:04,201 --> 00:13:06,035 Real mature, Pugsley. 146 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:09,705 Oh, please. You never threw an ax when you were my age? 147 00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:11,290 Of course I did. 148 00:13:11,375 --> 00:13:13,042 I never missed. 149 00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:19,215 How I wish something would liven up this already tedious day. 150 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,716 [screams] 151 00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:25,137 Thanks for trying, Ichabod. 152 00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:29,600 [bell rings] 153 00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:47,118 Hmm. 154 00:13:56,712 --> 00:13:57,962 [gasps] 155 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,810 [gate slams shut] 156 00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:15,730 Pugsley? Pugsley? 157 00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:17,606 It's time for sword practice. 158 00:14:18,150 --> 00:14:19,275 Pugsley? 159 00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:20,943 [Pugsley] Let the games begin. 160 00:14:21,903 --> 00:14:23,070 [laughs] 161 00:14:48,430 --> 00:14:50,973 Here's Pugsley! 162 00:15:04,780 --> 00:15:06,030 [gasps] 163 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,159 All right, son. That's enough. 164 00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:15,081 Ah, they blow up so fast these days. 165 00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:24,757 [beeping] 166 00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:27,843 Don't make me come up there! 167 00:15:32,474 --> 00:15:33,516 [detonator beeps] 168 00:15:34,309 --> 00:15:36,143 This is your last warning! 169 00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:45,945 [crash] 170 00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:49,782 [groans] My head. 171 00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:51,242 Ow, ow, ow. 172 00:15:51,326 --> 00:15:54,703 Pugsley, we're supposed to be working on your swordplay. 173 00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:58,958 Your Sabre Mazurka is two weeks away, and you've barely practiced at all. 174 00:15:59,042 --> 00:16:01,168 So I missed one practice. What's the big deal? 175 00:16:01,253 --> 00:16:03,045 The big deal? 176 00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:06,882 The Sabre Mazurka is the most important day in a young man's life. 177 00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,467 It's what makes you an Addams. 178 00:16:08,552 --> 00:16:11,595 It's the day your entire family gathers around you 179 00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:14,723 and passes judgment on your worth as a human being. 180 00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:16,684 I hear it's like Thanksgiving. 181 00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:19,603 But swords are so old-fashioned. 182 00:16:19,688 --> 00:16:21,397 I'm more of a demolitions man. 183 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:24,817 Explosives have no place in a mazurka. 184 00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:25,985 Hand them over. 185 00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:30,698 All of them. 186 00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:32,950 - [metal clatters] - And the TNT. 187 00:16:33,535 --> 00:16:35,452 - And the M-80s. - [crashing] 188 00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:38,706 Roman candles. Bang snaps. Holy hand grenades. 189 00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:40,040 [clattering, banging] 190 00:16:40,125 --> 00:16:44,712 Son, our family hasn't been all together in 13 years. 191 00:16:44,796 --> 00:16:49,175 They are coming from all over the world to see you on your special day. 192 00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:51,135 I just want it to go perfectly. 193 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,263 All right, Pop. I'll practice. 194 00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:55,723 That's my boy. 195 00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:58,851 [detonator beeping] 196 00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:04,732 - Putrid. - Horrifying. 197 00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:06,358 I call spleen. 198 00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:13,073 Wednesday, please, no ink stains on the table. 199 00:17:13,158 --> 00:17:14,325 Yes, Mother. 200 00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:22,041 Gomez, everyone we've invited to the mazurka has threatened to come. 201 00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:24,251 I know. Isn't it wonderful? 202 00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:26,170 [Morticia sighs] 203 00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:28,839 All Addamses under one roof again. 204 00:17:28,924 --> 00:17:31,175 Yes. But where will everyone sleep? 205 00:17:31,259 --> 00:17:35,554 We'll have Lurch fix up the mausoleum. It'll be like sleepaway camp. 206 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,641 - Very well, darling. - [detonator beeps] 207 00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:39,892 [explosion] 208 00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:41,185 [man screaming] 209 00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:43,312 - Uncle Fester! - Uncle Fester! 210 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:44,897 Brother! 211 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:46,649 [groans] 212 00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:51,528 Don't worry, I'm okay. The plate glass window broke my fall. 213 00:17:54,157 --> 00:17:57,785 [both] Rick 'em, rack 'em, roar 'em, buzz! Addams is as Addams does! 214 00:18:00,455 --> 00:18:02,665 I am thrilled you're here. 215 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:03,791 [laughs] 216 00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:05,209 I'm not late, am I? 217 00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:07,878 Actually, we weren't expecting you for another two weeks. 218 00:18:07,963 --> 00:18:11,423 - Huh. So, not late. - I apologize, darling. 219 00:18:11,508 --> 00:18:15,803 You see, I asked Fester to come early to help Pugsley with his mazurka plans. 220 00:18:15,887 --> 00:18:16,929 Hey! 221 00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:19,515 [grunts] No! No! Bad Kitty! 222 00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,016 That's a bad Kitty! 223 00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:24,061 If I'd known you were coming, I would've prepared the dungeon. 224 00:18:24,145 --> 00:18:26,814 Please, don't worry. I'll sleep in the attic. 225 00:18:26,898 --> 00:18:28,691 You won't even know I'm here. 226 00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:33,153 I've practiced that move in a lot of people's homes. 227 00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:34,530 [chuckles] 228 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:37,324 Uncle, can you tell us what's beyond the gate? 229 00:18:37,909 --> 00:18:39,451 [clattering] 230 00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:43,080 Why ever would you ask that, dear? 231 00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:45,708 I heard a strange noise in the fog earlier, 232 00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:47,293 and I should like to investigate. 233 00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:49,586 There's nothing out there but boring marshland. 234 00:18:49,671 --> 00:18:52,840 There must be something. We never go anywhere. 235 00:18:52,924 --> 00:18:55,676 Who knows the untold horrors we're missing out on? 236 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:58,679 [Morticia] Darling, we have all the horror we need right here. 237 00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:01,307 Uncle Fester can go wherever he likes. 238 00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:03,642 Now, now, there are some restrictions. 239 00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:07,604 You know, I can't go to the mall or a zoo or a building... 240 00:19:07,689 --> 00:19:10,441 When you're older, you can travel to your heart's content. 241 00:19:10,525 --> 00:19:13,402 But for now, it's safer for you here. 242 00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:16,488 [sighs] Socrates, come. 243 00:19:16,573 --> 00:19:21,869 [Fester] Mexico, no-go. South America, Europe, China, Asia. 244 00:19:21,953 --> 00:19:23,620 Most parts of Africa. 245 00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:25,622 I'm allowed in Antarctica. 246 00:19:35,258 --> 00:19:38,677 [theme music playing] 247 00:19:38,762 --> 00:19:42,222 [man] You're watching Home Art & Garden Television. 248 00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:46,852 The world's a big place full of poor souls 249 00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:49,980 who don't know the difference between shiplap and Shinola. 250 00:19:50,065 --> 00:19:51,607 Well, I'm here to help. 251 00:19:53,151 --> 00:19:56,320 I take your uninspired living space 252 00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:59,365 and turn it into the perfect palace of your dreams. 253 00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:03,202 No matter how outdated your design sense, I can help you. 254 00:20:04,037 --> 00:20:07,831 My only flaw? Sometimes I care too much. 255 00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:10,542 I'm Margaux Needler, 256 00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:14,505 and I'm about to stage a design intervention! 257 00:20:14,589 --> 00:20:16,173 You're welcome in advance. 258 00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:20,928 Today we're putting the finishing touches on our biggest project yet: 259 00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:22,554 Assimilation. 260 00:20:22,639 --> 00:20:24,681 We didn't just make over a house. 261 00:20:24,766 --> 00:20:27,267 We made over a whole town! 262 00:20:28,645 --> 00:20:31,063 And in just two weeks on our live season finale, 263 00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:33,941 you will be able to buy your very own piece of Assimilation. 264 00:20:34,025 --> 00:20:35,067 That's right. 265 00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:36,777 In a Design Intervention first, 266 00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:40,489 we are putting a whole neighborhood up for sale. 267 00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:43,575 This will be your chance to purchase the house of your dreams 268 00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:45,619 in the town of your dreams. 269 00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:47,913 Sounds good? I thought so. 270 00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:50,833 Welcome to Assimilation, neighbor. 271 00:20:51,668 --> 00:20:53,836 This program brought to you by Neighborhood Peeps. 272 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,088 Your neighbors are watching. 273 00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:58,549 [man] And we're out. 274 00:20:59,384 --> 00:21:02,177 Lovely. Perfect. Let's set up for the walk-through. 275 00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:04,012 Margaux, did that feel good to you? 276 00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:07,641 No, Glenn. We need more balloons, more confetti. 277 00:21:07,725 --> 00:21:09,685 - Roger that. - What are we selling here? 278 00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:11,145 Big dreams. 279 00:21:11,229 --> 00:21:14,106 You know how you get big dreams? With big ratings. 280 00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:15,274 - Got it. - Double the balloons. 281 00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:18,235 And I want a blizzard of confetti. I want so much confetti 282 00:21:18,319 --> 00:21:20,946 that we need snow patrols to find lost children. 283 00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:22,990 I bet my home improvement empire on this town. 284 00:21:23,074 --> 00:21:25,993 Every house must sell or we're out of business. 285 00:21:26,077 --> 00:21:27,578 It's got to be perfect. 286 00:21:27,662 --> 00:21:30,914 - Mom! You're never gonna believe this. - What is it, Parker? 287 00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:33,459 I found a creepy mansion up on the hill. 288 00:21:33,543 --> 00:21:35,127 I'm so glad you're exploring, Parker, 289 00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:37,337 but I don't have time to talk right now, sweetheart. 290 00:21:37,422 --> 00:21:38,672 Mama needs to help people. 291 00:21:38,756 --> 00:21:41,467 I need help. Aren't I people? 292 00:21:41,551 --> 00:21:45,053 [chuckles] You're cute. Don't you have chipper 'n' cheer practice this afternoon? 293 00:21:45,138 --> 00:21:46,388 Run along, honey. 294 00:21:46,473 --> 00:21:48,640 Now, Glenn, what are the numbers we're expecting? 295 00:21:48,725 --> 00:21:49,850 Mom! 296 00:21:50,935 --> 00:21:51,977 [groans] 297 00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:01,653 [Pugsley grunting] 298 00:22:01,738 --> 00:22:03,822 Left a bit, up a bit. 299 00:22:04,491 --> 00:22:06,200 Now down a bit. 300 00:22:07,410 --> 00:22:08,660 Perfect. 301 00:22:09,496 --> 00:22:13,832 And three, two, one... 302 00:22:17,253 --> 00:22:20,672 [groans] You made me miss. 303 00:22:20,757 --> 00:22:24,259 Do you know how long it took for me to set this up? 304 00:22:24,344 --> 00:22:27,679 Look, Pugsley, your mazurka's coming up, 305 00:22:27,764 --> 00:22:30,182 and, well, you're not ready... 306 00:22:30,266 --> 00:22:32,893 even if I am the only one who sees it. 307 00:22:32,977 --> 00:22:34,978 So, pay attention, 308 00:22:35,063 --> 00:22:36,563 and you might actually get through this. 309 00:22:36,648 --> 00:22:40,359 Wait. You're going to help me? 310 00:22:41,236 --> 00:22:42,236 Why? 311 00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:44,363 Because you are my brother. 312 00:22:44,989 --> 00:22:49,117 And... I love... you. 313 00:22:54,415 --> 00:22:56,458 All right. How are you gonna help me? 314 00:22:56,543 --> 00:22:58,043 You see that hole over there? 315 00:22:58,670 --> 00:22:59,962 Go stand beside it. 316 00:23:01,047 --> 00:23:03,966 - Uh, that hole? - That hole. 317 00:23:04,050 --> 00:23:06,176 Mm, I don't get it. 318 00:23:09,847 --> 00:23:11,223 Whoa. 319 00:23:12,433 --> 00:23:14,268 - [shovel clanks] - [body thuds] 320 00:23:22,819 --> 00:23:25,028 Darling, not to criticize, 321 00:23:25,113 --> 00:23:27,114 but is that really as tight as you can make it? 322 00:23:27,865 --> 00:23:28,949 I'm sorry, Gomez. 323 00:23:29,033 --> 00:23:32,244 I'm just a bit preoccupied with the mazurka preparations. 324 00:23:32,328 --> 00:23:34,871 Oh, I am as well. 325 00:23:34,956 --> 00:23:37,249 I feel Pugsley is overconfident 326 00:23:37,333 --> 00:23:41,878 and doesn't truly understand the importance of this tradition. 327 00:23:41,963 --> 00:23:43,797 Good news, everybody. Pugsley's gone. 328 00:23:43,881 --> 00:23:46,383 Wednesday, I know that tone of voice. 329 00:23:46,467 --> 00:23:48,343 Dig up your brother at once. 330 00:23:48,428 --> 00:23:50,387 [sighs] You're weakening the gene pool. 331 00:23:50,471 --> 00:23:52,389 Hold on. What do you have there? 332 00:23:52,473 --> 00:23:55,767 I'm not sure. I like it. 333 00:23:55,852 --> 00:23:57,853 It's so... What's the word? 334 00:23:58,896 --> 00:24:00,022 Opposite of sad? 335 00:24:00,106 --> 00:24:01,898 Darling, bring that to me. 336 00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:05,986 Strange. 337 00:24:06,070 --> 00:24:10,365 There's usually a murderous clown attached to the other end of these. 338 00:24:10,450 --> 00:24:13,201 [gasps] Wednesday, don't move. 339 00:24:13,286 --> 00:24:18,248 What in the name of all that is unholy is that? 340 00:24:19,542 --> 00:24:21,543 It tastes like cotton candy. 341 00:24:21,628 --> 00:24:23,462 How do you know what cotton candy tastes like? 342 00:24:23,546 --> 00:24:26,006 Tish, it was my youth. I made mistakes. 343 00:24:26,090 --> 00:24:28,842 Wednesday, wherever did this pink thing come from? 344 00:24:28,926 --> 00:24:32,054 Outside. They're everywhere. 345 00:24:36,267 --> 00:24:38,018 [door opens] 346 00:24:39,228 --> 00:24:42,481 [Gomez] Strangest weather system I've ever seen. 347 00:24:42,565 --> 00:24:44,983 [snarling] 348 00:24:48,446 --> 00:24:50,072 What is that? 349 00:24:50,823 --> 00:24:52,658 - Where's it coming from? - Wait, wait, wait. 350 00:24:53,284 --> 00:24:55,535 The fog. It's lifting. 351 00:24:55,620 --> 00:24:57,412 Well, that would only happen if... 352 00:24:57,497 --> 00:25:00,999 Someone drained the marsh. But who? 353 00:25:03,503 --> 00:25:06,380 [Morticia] A town. This is not good. 354 00:25:06,464 --> 00:25:09,508 We must go down there and introduce ourselves at once. 355 00:25:09,592 --> 00:25:13,553 This day is becoming most wonderfully disruptive. 356 00:25:14,806 --> 00:25:18,809 ["Won't You Be My Neighbor?"] 357 00:25:26,693 --> 00:25:29,111 [Glenn] Let's keep going with the run-through, okay? 358 00:25:29,195 --> 00:25:31,947 Welcome back. I'm so delighted to show you my house. 359 00:25:32,031 --> 00:25:35,075 You can own one just like it, just less large. 360 00:25:35,159 --> 00:25:37,911 Blah, blah, blah. Sconces, crown molding. 361 00:25:37,995 --> 00:25:41,123 Which leads us to what I call the salon de grandé. 362 00:25:41,207 --> 00:25:45,919 Cross here, turn, then say something like, "Now, before I show you this view, 363 00:25:46,003 --> 00:25:50,173 go to an antiques store, buy a chair and reupholster it. 364 00:25:50,258 --> 00:25:52,300 'Cause you're gonna want to sit down for this. " 365 00:25:55,430 --> 00:25:58,515 What? What's the matter? For heaven's sake, what's going on? 366 00:25:58,599 --> 00:26:00,225 Do I have something in my teeth? 367 00:26:00,309 --> 00:26:01,435 What is it? 368 00:26:01,936 --> 00:26:03,562 [thunderclap] 369 00:26:04,605 --> 00:26:06,481 [screams] 370 00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:10,610 [horn honks] 371 00:26:10,695 --> 00:26:11,945 [Morticia] Not a single gargoyle. 372 00:26:12,029 --> 00:26:16,074 [Gomez] Maybe this isn't such a bad thing. We have been isolated here for a while. 373 00:26:16,159 --> 00:26:18,785 [Fester] I can really see myself dying here! 374 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:22,748 Play nice, Kitty! 375 00:26:23,583 --> 00:26:26,585 Well, no one is running at us with torches and pitchforks, 376 00:26:26,669 --> 00:26:28,003 so that's a plus. 377 00:26:29,046 --> 00:26:33,133 You know, darling, I don't think we'll need to put the family in the mausoleum. 378 00:26:33,217 --> 00:26:34,509 They can stay here. 379 00:26:34,594 --> 00:26:37,179 The family will never be comfortable. 380 00:26:37,263 --> 00:26:40,056 It will be years before rust and decay set in. 381 00:26:40,141 --> 00:26:41,141 How you doing? 382 00:26:41,225 --> 00:26:44,019 It's all so different. 383 00:26:45,062 --> 00:26:47,272 Pugsley, don't drink it all. 384 00:26:47,356 --> 00:26:49,316 This gentleman wants some, too. 385 00:26:50,318 --> 00:26:53,153 [Gomez] Sir, it's all right. He's had all his shots! 386 00:26:53,696 --> 00:26:55,071 What a nervous man. 387 00:26:55,156 --> 00:26:58,116 Come on, Tish. Let's explore the neighborhood. 388 00:26:58,201 --> 00:27:01,661 I'm gonna pop in here for two minutes, and I'll meet you in the town square. 389 00:27:01,746 --> 00:27:03,538 - Agreed? - Very well, darling. 390 00:27:04,916 --> 00:27:06,458 Good day, all. 391 00:27:07,460 --> 00:27:12,088 Don't let me interrupt your cup of joe, or whoever you have in there. 392 00:27:12,882 --> 00:27:16,259 So, what's dark and bitter here, other than yours truly? 393 00:27:17,178 --> 00:27:20,847 We have the... Madagascar Emerald Peaberry 394 00:27:20,932 --> 00:27:22,349 in a summer patchouli roast. 395 00:27:22,433 --> 00:27:26,353 It has notes of oak, cherry and yoga. 396 00:27:26,437 --> 00:27:30,857 Hmm. You know, I'm looking for something a bit stronger. 397 00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:33,151 Ah! Let me try that. 398 00:27:37,406 --> 00:27:40,325 Mm! Morticia, you have to try these coffee grounds. 399 00:27:40,409 --> 00:27:41,785 They have a wonderful grit. 400 00:27:41,869 --> 00:27:44,287 Just a moment. What am I hearing? 401 00:27:44,372 --> 00:27:46,957 ♪ Join the party This is where we all belong, yeah ♪ 402 00:27:47,041 --> 00:27:51,086 ♪ Everybody come together Sing our song, sing our song ♪ 403 00:27:52,046 --> 00:27:55,924 ♪ Life is really perfect We are one big family, yeah ♪ 404 00:27:56,008 --> 00:27:59,761 ♪ Everything is so much better When I'm like you and you're like me ♪ 405 00:28:00,763 --> 00:28:04,140 ♪ What's so great about being yourself ♪ 406 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:07,394 ♪ When you can be like everyone else ♪ 407 00:28:07,478 --> 00:28:11,731 Wow. That is absolutely horrible. 408 00:28:11,816 --> 00:28:15,068 ♪ It's easy to be happy When you have no choice ♪ 409 00:28:15,152 --> 00:28:18,947 ♪ Yes, it's easy to be happy When you have no choice ♪ 410 00:28:19,031 --> 00:28:20,907 Hold on. Unless I miss my guess here, 411 00:28:20,992 --> 00:28:23,994 I believe that is supposed to be music. 412 00:28:24,078 --> 00:28:26,621 They're greeting us with one of their traditional songs. 413 00:28:26,706 --> 00:28:30,375 - Then we ought to do the same. - Wonderful idea, Fester. 414 00:28:30,459 --> 00:28:32,502 ♪ When we are all together ♪ 415 00:28:32,587 --> 00:28:36,131 ♪ Say it again until you believe it ♪ 416 00:28:36,215 --> 00:28:38,466 ♪ I believe it ♪ 417 00:28:38,551 --> 00:28:41,636 ♪ We believe it ♪ 418 00:28:44,098 --> 00:28:46,057 ♪ I'd tip my hat to you ♪ 419 00:28:46,142 --> 00:28:48,101 ♪ I'd do just that Bum, bum, bum ♪ 420 00:28:48,185 --> 00:28:49,644 ♪ Take it right off for you ♪ 421 00:28:49,729 --> 00:28:52,188 ♪ But I haven't got a hat Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum ♪ 422 00:28:52,273 --> 00:28:53,607 ♪ I'm just a college boy ♪ 423 00:28:54,066 --> 00:28:56,026 ♪ Even at that Bum, bum, bum ♪ 424 00:28:56,110 --> 00:28:57,485 ♪ I'd tip my hat to you ♪ 425 00:28:57,570 --> 00:28:58,695 ♪ But I haven't got a hat ♪ 426 00:28:58,779 --> 00:29:00,238 ♪ Bum, bum, bum, bum ♪ 427 00:29:00,323 --> 00:29:02,866 - [screaming] - Oh, God! 428 00:29:06,370 --> 00:29:07,412 What'd I do? 429 00:29:07,496 --> 00:29:08,872 How rude. 430 00:29:08,956 --> 00:29:11,166 Gomez, we should return home. 431 00:29:11,250 --> 00:29:14,252 Morticia, this is not the old country. 432 00:29:14,337 --> 00:29:16,755 True, these people are a little different. 433 00:29:16,839 --> 00:29:19,633 - But deep down we're all the same. - [man screams] 434 00:29:19,717 --> 00:29:22,344 We have to give them a chance, get to know them. 435 00:29:22,428 --> 00:29:23,970 We have to win them over. 436 00:29:24,055 --> 00:29:25,305 Win them over? 437 00:29:26,307 --> 00:29:28,350 Well, good morning, neighbor. 438 00:29:28,893 --> 00:29:30,226 Margaux Needler. 439 00:29:30,311 --> 00:29:33,855 Gomez Addams, at your service. 440 00:29:33,940 --> 00:29:36,274 - My wife Morticia. - Charmed. 441 00:29:36,359 --> 00:29:39,402 [Gomez] Our children, Wednesday, Pugsley. 442 00:29:39,487 --> 00:29:40,987 And my brother Fester. 443 00:29:41,072 --> 00:29:44,407 Hey, neighbor. You know, we can see right into your windows. 444 00:29:44,492 --> 00:29:47,202 It's nice to... meet you. 445 00:29:47,870 --> 00:29:52,457 As your neighbor, I'd like to offer you the opportunity of a lifetime. 446 00:29:52,541 --> 00:29:57,420 How would you like a free home makeover from a world-renowned interior designer? 447 00:29:57,505 --> 00:30:01,132 It will be a challenge, but I could beautify that old house of yours so fast, 448 00:30:01,217 --> 00:30:02,467 it'll make your heads spin. 449 00:30:02,551 --> 00:30:05,178 I don't want to brag, but mine already does that. Look. 450 00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:11,017 I should like to see what this plastic woman has to offer. 451 00:30:11,102 --> 00:30:13,895 Yes. Well, when is a good time to stop by? 452 00:30:13,980 --> 00:30:16,731 - Actually, Miss Needler... - [clears throat] 453 00:30:16,816 --> 00:30:17,941 Darling? 454 00:30:18,943 --> 00:30:21,444 Stop by anytime you'd like. 455 00:30:21,529 --> 00:30:23,738 Oh, wonderful! Then it's settled. 456 00:30:23,823 --> 00:30:26,074 I'll see you at your house first thing tomorrow. 457 00:30:26,158 --> 00:30:28,743 You're welcome in advance. 458 00:30:28,828 --> 00:30:29,911 Ta! 459 00:30:29,996 --> 00:30:30,996 Oh! 460 00:30:31,664 --> 00:30:33,873 That woman seems deranged. 461 00:30:33,958 --> 00:30:35,959 Her face reminds me of a death mask. 462 00:30:36,043 --> 00:30:38,336 Deranged? Death mask? 463 00:30:38,421 --> 00:30:42,465 You tell me she's got halitosis, and I'm hearing wedding bells. 464 00:30:42,550 --> 00:30:46,094 - [piano playing] - [crowing like rooster] 465 00:30:54,437 --> 00:30:58,982 [Gomez] Pugsley, this is the Addams family sabre. 466 00:30:59,567 --> 00:31:04,070 Three hundred years of Addams have danced the mazurka 467 00:31:04,155 --> 00:31:05,447 with this blade. 468 00:31:06,407 --> 00:31:09,451 Uh-uh! Only when you've shown me you're ready. 469 00:31:09,535 --> 00:31:15,331 Your father was the greatest swordsman in Addams history. 470 00:31:15,416 --> 00:31:18,501 His mazurka was the stuff of legend. 471 00:31:18,586 --> 00:31:20,837 So no pressure! 472 00:31:21,380 --> 00:31:24,841 It's all right here in the mazurka handbook. 473 00:31:24,925 --> 00:31:28,386 Every Addams performs this rite of passage 474 00:31:28,471 --> 00:31:31,681 to show that you're prepared to defend your family. 475 00:31:31,766 --> 00:31:35,101 It sounds easy, but believe me, it's insane. 476 00:31:35,186 --> 00:31:38,063 Fester, hand him the goo-goo-ga-ga baby training sword. 477 00:31:38,856 --> 00:31:39,981 [sword squeaks] 478 00:31:40,066 --> 00:31:43,318 Pop, has anyone ever failed the mazurka? 479 00:31:43,402 --> 00:31:45,487 Once. Your third cousin, Xander. 480 00:31:45,571 --> 00:31:48,031 - Never heard of him. - Exactly. 481 00:31:48,115 --> 00:31:50,658 - Music! - [gong resounds] 482 00:31:50,743 --> 00:31:52,077 There's someone at the door. 483 00:31:52,161 --> 00:31:55,121 Hi, guys. I'm going up to this creepy mansion. 484 00:31:55,748 --> 00:31:58,750 If you don't hear from me in 30 minutes, send backup. 485 00:32:05,216 --> 00:32:14,057 You rang? 486 00:32:14,642 --> 00:32:17,393 Yeah, no. Life's too short. See ya! 487 00:32:24,068 --> 00:32:25,360 [Margaux exclaims] 488 00:32:25,444 --> 00:32:27,403 [Gomez chuckles] Good morning, Kitty. 489 00:32:28,197 --> 00:32:29,572 Greetings, Miss Needler. 490 00:32:32,827 --> 00:32:33,827 Wow. 491 00:32:34,578 --> 00:32:37,914 Good morning. I hope this isn't a bad time. 492 00:32:37,998 --> 00:32:39,916 The worst. Do come in. 493 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:41,042 Glenn? 494 00:32:41,127 --> 00:32:42,293 - [growls] - [screams] 495 00:32:44,755 --> 00:32:46,339 Welcome to the neighborhood. 496 00:32:46,423 --> 00:32:47,590 Thank you. 497 00:32:49,468 --> 00:32:50,969 Oh, my. 498 00:32:51,053 --> 00:32:54,180 Are you... Are you ready for your Margaux makeover? 499 00:32:54,265 --> 00:32:58,393 Quite. Pugsley's been climbing the walls in anticipation. 500 00:33:03,315 --> 00:33:04,357 Well, well, well. 501 00:33:05,568 --> 00:33:06,985 Let's take a look around, shall we? 502 00:33:07,069 --> 00:33:09,571 And before you say anything, you're welcome. 503 00:33:10,531 --> 00:33:13,867 Now, if we're trying for a more contemporary look, 504 00:33:13,951 --> 00:33:16,411 well, these sconces have to go. 505 00:33:19,540 --> 00:33:22,208 The sconces were a gift from dead relatives. 506 00:33:22,293 --> 00:33:26,254 If we get rid of them, they'll be terribly hurt the next time they visit. 507 00:33:28,174 --> 00:33:30,675 And this is our whine cellar. 508 00:33:30,759 --> 00:33:33,011 We have a lovely collection of whines. 509 00:33:33,596 --> 00:33:35,180 - Are we there yet? - I want ice cream! 510 00:33:35,264 --> 00:33:37,473 What do you mean you're out of avocado toast? 511 00:33:37,558 --> 00:33:38,933 This barrel is really bad! 512 00:33:39,727 --> 00:33:41,477 And here's our bottomless pit. 513 00:33:43,189 --> 00:33:46,733 - Uh... how do we get across? - One moment. 514 00:33:59,872 --> 00:34:02,373 We call this "surfing the web. " 515 00:34:03,918 --> 00:34:05,084 [gulps] 516 00:34:06,378 --> 00:34:07,378 [Margaux] Well... 517 00:34:09,048 --> 00:34:10,506 [woman] I'm scared. I'm so scared. 518 00:34:11,217 --> 00:34:12,634 Oh, my gosh. 519 00:34:12,718 --> 00:34:14,344 [muttering] 520 00:34:14,428 --> 00:34:16,554 I'm scared to close my eyes. I'm scared to open them. 521 00:34:16,639 --> 00:34:17,680 [screaming] 522 00:34:18,807 --> 00:34:20,475 [whimpers] 523 00:34:32,696 --> 00:34:33,947 [sighs] 524 00:34:35,532 --> 00:34:36,532 [gasps] 525 00:34:37,284 --> 00:34:40,954 How do all those people fit in that little contraption? 526 00:34:41,747 --> 00:34:45,250 My vanity mirror only imprisons 14 souls at a time. 527 00:34:45,334 --> 00:34:46,584 Whoa! Uh... 528 00:34:46,669 --> 00:34:47,794 You don't have a cell phone? 529 00:34:48,462 --> 00:34:49,837 That's weird. 530 00:34:49,922 --> 00:34:51,798 I may not have a cell phone. 531 00:34:52,216 --> 00:34:56,261 Well, you don't have a crossbow, and I thought everybody had one of those. 532 00:34:58,472 --> 00:34:59,514 Hmm. 533 00:35:00,432 --> 00:35:01,516 My name is Wednesday. 534 00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:04,602 Okay. Uh, I'm Parker. 535 00:35:04,687 --> 00:35:06,396 How long have you lived here? 536 00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:08,439 My whole life. 537 00:35:08,524 --> 00:35:11,025 Which seems endless. 538 00:35:11,110 --> 00:35:12,860 I've never seen you at school. 539 00:35:12,945 --> 00:35:15,196 - I'm cage-schooled. - Excuse me? 540 00:35:15,281 --> 00:35:18,366 It's terribly dull. But my mother insists. 541 00:35:21,412 --> 00:35:23,955 I'm actually cutting cage right now. 542 00:35:24,039 --> 00:35:26,332 [growling, snarling] 543 00:35:26,417 --> 00:35:28,209 Uh, okay. 544 00:35:28,294 --> 00:35:30,211 So, what happens at your school? 545 00:35:30,296 --> 00:35:33,673 Uh, not much. Just friends turning on each other. 546 00:35:33,757 --> 00:35:36,342 Girls making other girls feel bad about themselves. 547 00:35:36,427 --> 00:35:38,636 - Typical junior high stuff. - Intriguing. 548 00:35:42,057 --> 00:35:44,434 Can anyone go to your school? 549 00:35:44,518 --> 00:35:47,478 I guess so. But who'd want to? 550 00:35:47,563 --> 00:35:50,315 Wednesday! Great shot. 551 00:35:54,528 --> 00:35:56,988 [muttering incantation] 552 00:36:02,244 --> 00:36:04,287 - [screams] - [screeching] 553 00:36:07,249 --> 00:36:10,626 Mr. and Mrs. Addams, there's really not much to do 554 00:36:10,711 --> 00:36:12,545 to make this place perfect. 555 00:36:12,629 --> 00:36:15,840 All we have to do is pull down the side walls, 556 00:36:15,924 --> 00:36:18,968 and then also break down the other two walls. 557 00:36:19,053 --> 00:36:20,261 [groans] 558 00:36:20,346 --> 00:36:23,723 Open up the ceiling by breaking it irreversibly. 559 00:36:24,224 --> 00:36:26,934 Just get this nasty little floor out of the way. 560 00:36:27,019 --> 00:36:28,561 And there you go. 561 00:36:28,645 --> 00:36:30,855 With just those little touches... 562 00:36:30,939 --> 00:36:34,942 Stop right there. Don't touch another thing. 563 00:36:35,027 --> 00:36:36,819 It's perfect. 564 00:36:36,904 --> 00:36:38,946 Ms. Needler, you have a gift. 565 00:36:39,031 --> 00:36:41,699 The good news is, I can have a makeover crew up here 566 00:36:41,784 --> 00:36:44,410 and swinging hammers first thing in the morning. 567 00:36:44,495 --> 00:36:45,995 What do you say? 568 00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:49,665 We thought you were finished. Our whole family is coming in two weeks. 569 00:36:49,750 --> 00:36:50,833 Our finale! 570 00:36:51,668 --> 00:36:53,336 Our finale is in two weeks. 571 00:36:53,420 --> 00:36:55,129 Thank you, Glenn. 572 00:36:55,214 --> 00:36:58,508 It's a gracious offer, Ms. Needler, but you really have done enough. 573 00:36:58,592 --> 00:37:01,886 It's our son's mazurka. You understand. 574 00:37:01,970 --> 00:37:03,054 Thank you. 575 00:37:05,724 --> 00:37:07,350 [growls] 576 00:37:08,394 --> 00:37:10,144 We're missing Mitch. Where's Mitch? 577 00:37:11,146 --> 00:37:15,191 [house spirit] Get out! 578 00:37:16,068 --> 00:37:17,068 Mitch who? 579 00:37:17,152 --> 00:37:19,779 [both scream] 580 00:37:20,447 --> 00:37:22,240 Gomez, I'll be blunt. 581 00:37:22,324 --> 00:37:25,576 I have 50 houses to sell down there, 582 00:37:25,661 --> 00:37:31,207 and their view of your property is, well, off-brand. 583 00:37:31,291 --> 00:37:33,042 Fifty houses? 584 00:37:33,127 --> 00:37:34,210 Yes. 585 00:37:34,294 --> 00:37:37,922 You know, ever since my family was chased out from the old country, 586 00:37:38,006 --> 00:37:42,593 my one dream has been to find a place we could call home. 587 00:37:43,178 --> 00:37:45,596 Once they see Assimilation... 588 00:37:46,890 --> 00:37:48,516 I think they'll want to stay for good. 589 00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:49,684 [Margaux] What's that? 590 00:37:49,768 --> 00:37:53,354 Thank you so much for coming by, Membrane. 591 00:37:53,439 --> 00:37:55,022 It's Margaux. 592 00:37:55,107 --> 00:37:58,359 Well, then... run, Margaux! 593 00:37:58,444 --> 00:38:00,111 Run, run, run! 594 00:38:04,950 --> 00:38:06,242 [gate burps] 595 00:38:06,326 --> 00:38:09,078 That Wednesday girl is a freak. 596 00:38:09,163 --> 00:38:11,914 We're about to be invaded by a whole army of freaks. 597 00:38:12,541 --> 00:38:16,752 It's tragic when people can't accept the help they so badly need. 598 00:38:16,837 --> 00:38:18,087 And when that happens, 599 00:38:18,172 --> 00:38:21,424 well, another kind of intervention is called for. 600 00:38:23,385 --> 00:38:24,802 I agree, Gomez. 601 00:38:24,887 --> 00:38:27,763 The whole family moving here would be a dream come true. 602 00:38:27,848 --> 00:38:30,349 But I don't trust that Margaux woman. 603 00:38:30,434 --> 00:38:33,102 She's an eccentric, darling. Give her a chance. 604 00:38:33,896 --> 00:38:37,482 "Raspberry preserves. " [sniffs] 605 00:38:37,566 --> 00:38:41,319 Hmm, must be some kind of scented embalming fluid. 606 00:38:41,403 --> 00:38:42,570 [screams] 607 00:38:43,113 --> 00:38:47,408 Wednesday, practice your lurking on someone other than your father. 608 00:38:47,493 --> 00:38:48,826 He's too easy. 609 00:38:51,038 --> 00:38:52,163 Much better. 610 00:38:52,247 --> 00:38:54,790 Mother, Father, I'd like to speak with you. 611 00:38:54,875 --> 00:38:57,460 What's on your mind, my little night crawler? 612 00:38:57,544 --> 00:38:59,086 I spoke with Parker this afternoon. 613 00:38:59,171 --> 00:39:03,049 She's the daughter of that talking mannequin who came by. 614 00:39:03,133 --> 00:39:06,802 She told me about a communal school all the neighborhood children attend. 615 00:39:06,887 --> 00:39:09,263 It's called junior high. 616 00:39:09,348 --> 00:39:12,099 Junior high. 617 00:39:12,184 --> 00:39:16,896 Yes. Yes, I have read about those in my abnormal psychology journals. 618 00:39:16,980 --> 00:39:18,564 Anyone of age can enroll. 619 00:39:18,649 --> 00:39:22,193 I think it would be... good for me. 620 00:39:23,237 --> 00:39:25,238 Well, I think it's a capital idea. 621 00:39:25,322 --> 00:39:29,283 What of your studies here? Your taxidermy is coming along so well. 622 00:39:29,368 --> 00:39:31,869 Mother, would you really deprive me 623 00:39:31,954 --> 00:39:35,122 of the opportunity to torment children my own age? 624 00:39:35,207 --> 00:39:37,166 Ah, she makes a point. 625 00:39:37,709 --> 00:39:39,544 What's more, with Wednesday in school, 626 00:39:39,628 --> 00:39:42,213 we'd get to know the people here even better. 627 00:39:42,881 --> 00:39:44,423 Well, Mother? 628 00:39:46,969 --> 00:39:49,887 - Bye Mom! - Bye, honey! 629 00:39:49,972 --> 00:39:54,183 [engine sputters, wheezes, stops] 630 00:39:55,352 --> 00:39:56,477 What? Huh? 631 00:39:56,562 --> 00:39:58,271 [kids chattering] 632 00:39:58,355 --> 00:40:00,481 Have a good day at school, dear. 633 00:40:02,192 --> 00:40:03,943 Do your worst! 634 00:40:09,366 --> 00:40:11,659 Ah, now I understand. 635 00:40:11,743 --> 00:40:13,536 This is a children's prison. 636 00:40:16,582 --> 00:40:18,207 [both] Who's that? 637 00:40:18,875 --> 00:40:20,084 [Parker] Great. 638 00:40:21,712 --> 00:40:22,795 This is Wednesday. 639 00:40:23,589 --> 00:40:24,922 Hello. 640 00:40:25,007 --> 00:40:27,091 Hey, Parker. 641 00:40:28,093 --> 00:40:30,177 I got something for you. 642 00:40:30,971 --> 00:40:32,013 [laughs] 643 00:40:32,097 --> 00:40:36,017 A moldy sandwich. You're slipping, Bethany. 644 00:40:36,101 --> 00:40:37,810 You know what? You're right. 645 00:40:37,894 --> 00:40:40,646 - Hey! - Let's kick it up a notch. 646 00:40:45,444 --> 00:40:47,653 [laughs] 647 00:40:48,447 --> 00:40:50,615 You have no sense of humor. 648 00:40:51,867 --> 00:40:54,118 - Did you see her face? - I know. 649 00:40:54,202 --> 00:40:56,287 Bethany, is it? 650 00:40:56,371 --> 00:40:59,915 Don't cut your eyes on my crew unless you're ready to dance. 651 00:41:00,542 --> 00:41:04,128 What did you say, little ghoul? 652 00:41:05,422 --> 00:41:07,923 I don't think you understand. 653 00:41:08,008 --> 00:41:10,968 I'm not locked up in here with you, Bethany. 654 00:41:11,053 --> 00:41:14,680 You're locked up in here with me. 655 00:41:19,144 --> 00:41:20,269 Whatever. 656 00:41:22,522 --> 00:41:25,149 - What did you do? - You shouldn't have said that. 657 00:41:25,233 --> 00:41:28,611 There's nothing you can do. Bethany's way too popular. 658 00:41:28,695 --> 00:41:30,488 Popularity is fleeting. 659 00:41:30,572 --> 00:41:34,241 I prefer to set my sights on something a little more challenging. 660 00:41:34,326 --> 00:41:35,701 - Like what? - Like what? 661 00:41:36,244 --> 00:41:37,828 The establishment. 662 00:41:41,416 --> 00:41:44,418 [Margaux humming "The Battle Hymn of the Republic"] 663 00:41:54,721 --> 00:41:59,100 Let's see. Who shall I be today? 664 00:41:59,184 --> 00:42:02,770 How about... Ah, Shelly Longbottom on Sugar Ridge Lane. 665 00:42:02,854 --> 00:42:05,898 From Shelly Longbottom to everyone. 666 00:42:06,483 --> 00:42:11,862 Did you hear about those Addams people? Question mark. 667 00:42:11,947 --> 00:42:16,242 Someone told me they're wanted in 30 states. 668 00:42:17,327 --> 00:42:18,619 [phones vibrating, beeping] 669 00:42:18,704 --> 00:42:21,580 You know, they're raising a garden of man-eating plants. 670 00:42:21,665 --> 00:42:23,165 And feeding them our pets! 671 00:42:23,250 --> 00:42:25,167 Has anyone seen my shih tzu Fifi? 672 00:42:25,252 --> 00:42:27,336 They're gonna turn us all into zombies. 673 00:42:27,421 --> 00:42:29,046 Where are they from anyways? 674 00:42:29,131 --> 00:42:31,757 It doesn't matter. It's obvious they don't belong here. 675 00:42:31,842 --> 00:42:34,635 Honey? Oh, those awful people up on the hill... 676 00:42:34,720 --> 00:42:36,762 they're not even on Neighborhood Peeps! 677 00:42:36,847 --> 00:42:38,389 Well, that's suspicious. 678 00:42:38,473 --> 00:42:39,807 If other people are scared, then I'm scared! 679 00:42:39,891 --> 00:42:41,225 I believe everything I read! 680 00:42:41,309 --> 00:42:42,643 I'm not gonna be the last person on the block to panic. 681 00:42:42,728 --> 00:42:44,520 If someone posted it, it must be true. 682 00:42:44,604 --> 00:42:46,605 You invite one family in, then all the families come in. 683 00:42:46,690 --> 00:42:48,816 Do you think we should investigate? 684 00:42:48,900 --> 00:42:50,443 I'm worried for the children. 685 00:42:51,153 --> 00:42:52,653 We need to talk to Margaux! 686 00:42:55,824 --> 00:42:59,368 Open your books, page 43. Follow the instructions. 687 00:42:59,453 --> 00:43:03,706 - Uh, yuck. - Oh, I've done this thousands of times. 688 00:43:05,208 --> 00:43:06,250 [girl] I don't want to touch it. 689 00:43:06,334 --> 00:43:08,461 - [banging, clattering] - What's that? 690 00:43:09,671 --> 00:43:10,671 Whoa. 691 00:43:11,506 --> 00:43:12,673 Huh? 692 00:43:19,806 --> 00:43:21,307 Flip the switch. 693 00:43:28,023 --> 00:43:29,440 [gasping, shouts] 694 00:43:39,993 --> 00:43:43,621 Give my creature life! 695 00:43:49,878 --> 00:43:53,380 Live! Live, I tell you! Live! 696 00:43:57,677 --> 00:43:59,136 [screaming] 697 00:44:07,354 --> 00:44:08,437 - [gasping] - Whoa. 698 00:44:11,525 --> 00:44:14,401 It's alive! It's alive! 699 00:44:19,366 --> 00:44:21,909 - [shouting] - [screaming] 700 00:44:25,121 --> 00:44:26,539 [shrieks] 701 00:44:26,623 --> 00:44:28,874 [croaking] 702 00:44:32,796 --> 00:44:35,256 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Get them off me! 703 00:44:35,340 --> 00:44:37,007 [all screaming] 704 00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:45,975 [frogs snarling] 705 00:44:46,059 --> 00:44:49,520 Bethany's changed her look. It suits her. 706 00:44:49,604 --> 00:44:52,064 Awesome. Totally awesome. 707 00:44:52,148 --> 00:44:54,525 - It is an honor... - And a privilege... 708 00:44:54,609 --> 00:44:55,818 [both]... to watch you work. 709 00:44:55,902 --> 00:44:58,404 Hey, do you want to go to the mall? 710 00:44:58,488 --> 00:45:01,657 Why not? I haven't seen a good mauling in ages. 711 00:45:01,741 --> 00:45:05,369 ["Green Onions"] 712 00:45:23,388 --> 00:45:26,223 It's late. I'm worried. 713 00:45:26,308 --> 00:45:30,019 [Gomez] Darling, Wednesday will be fine. She can take care of herself. 714 00:45:30,103 --> 00:45:33,397 It's not Wednesday I'm worried about. It's the rest of them. 715 00:45:34,024 --> 00:45:35,608 We may need to provide an alibi. 716 00:45:35,692 --> 00:45:39,194 My love, it's game night. Wednesday will be home soon. 717 00:45:39,279 --> 00:45:41,322 So why don't you come and join us? 718 00:45:41,948 --> 00:45:45,117 Oh, very well. F-6. 719 00:45:45,201 --> 00:45:47,411 Pugsley, you heard your mother! 720 00:45:47,495 --> 00:45:49,788 Blow F-6! 721 00:45:51,416 --> 00:45:52,791 Fire in the hole! 722 00:45:52,876 --> 00:45:54,668 [Fester] I'm king of the world! 723 00:45:54,753 --> 00:45:58,130 ♪ Near, far, wherever... ♪ 724 00:45:58,214 --> 00:45:59,214 [beeping] 725 00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:08,641 - Yes! - You sunk my battleship. 726 00:46:08,725 --> 00:46:10,809 [laughs] Well done, Pugsley. 727 00:46:20,028 --> 00:46:21,779 Hello, my uglies! 728 00:46:21,863 --> 00:46:25,616 Mother! I thought I felt my skin crawling. 729 00:46:25,700 --> 00:46:27,242 [both laugh] 730 00:46:27,327 --> 00:46:30,704 Grandma, what a surprise. I thought you were in Prague. 731 00:46:30,789 --> 00:46:34,708 I was. They caught me smuggling crocodiles out of the zoo. 732 00:46:34,793 --> 00:46:38,212 But I escaped and talked my way onto a Somali pirate ship. 733 00:46:38,296 --> 00:46:41,256 We got into a heated poker game, and I cleaned them out. 734 00:46:42,175 --> 00:46:43,968 - Cheating or robbery? - Both! 735 00:46:44,052 --> 00:46:45,636 Always remember, Pugsley, 736 00:46:45,720 --> 00:46:48,722 it ain't cheating if no one catches you. 737 00:46:49,432 --> 00:46:51,433 I haven't bathed in two weeks. 738 00:46:51,518 --> 00:46:52,977 Or is it months? Ha! 739 00:46:53,061 --> 00:46:56,397 That reminds me. Guess what I've got, Pugsley. 740 00:46:56,481 --> 00:46:58,357 - Candy. - Oh, yes! 741 00:46:58,858 --> 00:47:02,695 But the mazurka isn't for a week. Why are you here so early? 742 00:47:02,779 --> 00:47:05,406 Gomez said you needed a little help with the party, 743 00:47:05,490 --> 00:47:08,409 and I said I got my son ready for his mazurka. 744 00:47:08,493 --> 00:47:12,079 So of course I'm going to do the same for my grandson. 745 00:47:12,163 --> 00:47:13,372 I love him. 746 00:47:13,456 --> 00:47:15,374 It's true. I sent for her. 747 00:47:15,458 --> 00:47:18,836 I can't believe you bothered your mother with that, darling. 748 00:47:19,421 --> 00:47:20,462 Neither can I? 749 00:47:20,547 --> 00:47:23,215 - He said you were in over your head. - Thank you, Mother! 750 00:47:23,299 --> 00:47:25,676 He said you were more tense than he's ever seen you. 751 00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:27,469 I didn't say that exactly. 752 00:47:27,554 --> 00:47:29,888 Yes, you did. You said that exactly. 753 00:47:29,973 --> 00:47:33,434 Said he was worried you'd have a massive facial expression and... 754 00:47:33,518 --> 00:47:35,269 You know, I'm starving. Let's eat. 755 00:47:35,353 --> 00:47:38,147 Not until Wednesday gets home. 756 00:47:38,231 --> 00:47:40,649 Where is that granddaughter of mine? 757 00:47:40,734 --> 00:47:42,735 I've got something for her. 758 00:47:42,819 --> 00:47:44,611 [door slams] 759 00:47:44,696 --> 00:47:46,613 There's my little storm cloud. 760 00:47:46,698 --> 00:47:49,324 Wednesday, where have you been? 761 00:47:49,409 --> 00:47:50,409 Elsewhere. 762 00:47:53,580 --> 00:47:54,663 [gasps] 763 00:47:56,124 --> 00:47:57,666 [bat slurps] 764 00:48:01,004 --> 00:48:02,504 What are you wearing? 765 00:48:02,589 --> 00:48:05,090 Parker calls it a pop of color. 766 00:48:05,175 --> 00:48:07,801 Well, I certainly appreciate a horse with a spear through its head. 767 00:48:07,886 --> 00:48:10,804 - The color is... - She claims it brings out my smile. 768 00:48:10,889 --> 00:48:13,265 Wednesday, you don't have a smile. 769 00:48:13,349 --> 00:48:16,602 Turns out I have a lot of things you don't know about. 770 00:48:18,980 --> 00:48:20,272 [Lurch groans] 771 00:48:20,356 --> 00:48:22,066 I see I got here just in time. 772 00:48:22,150 --> 00:48:23,984 You were right to call, Gomez. 773 00:48:24,069 --> 00:48:26,111 I'll talk to her. Hand me that bear trap. 774 00:48:26,196 --> 00:48:29,615 Thank you, Grandma. But I will handle this. 775 00:48:30,158 --> 00:48:31,617 Meh, suit yourself. 776 00:48:34,746 --> 00:48:37,956 When you're done with Fabio, send him up to my room. 777 00:48:38,041 --> 00:48:40,084 - [giggles] - Oh, boy. 778 00:48:42,962 --> 00:48:43,962 Wednesday. 779 00:48:44,839 --> 00:48:49,468 How would you like to join me tomorrow after the... school 780 00:48:49,552 --> 00:48:51,595 for tea and séance in the cemetery? 781 00:48:51,679 --> 00:48:53,347 Is attendance mandatory? 782 00:48:53,431 --> 00:48:54,807 Come, now, my little raven. 783 00:48:54,891 --> 00:48:57,226 You did so love it when you were younger. 784 00:48:57,310 --> 00:48:58,894 If you like, Mother. 785 00:49:01,022 --> 00:49:02,231 Sleep well, dear. 786 00:49:02,816 --> 00:49:05,067 Don't forget to kick your father good night. 787 00:49:10,532 --> 00:49:11,782 [Parker] What's your favorite filter? 788 00:49:11,866 --> 00:49:15,035 I don't know. I look black-and-white in all of them. 789 00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:18,080 You know, when I met you, I thought you were super weird. 790 00:49:18,498 --> 00:49:20,124 But now I think you're really cool. 791 00:49:20,208 --> 00:49:23,710 I concur. You're not completely devoid of merit yourself. 792 00:49:23,795 --> 00:49:25,879 I want to say... thank you. 793 00:49:27,799 --> 00:49:30,676 Oh, how'd that barrette you bought yesterday go over at home? 794 00:49:30,760 --> 00:49:35,139 Actually, my mother's reaction was... well, unexpected. 795 00:49:35,223 --> 00:49:38,600 She was accepting. It depressed me. 796 00:49:38,685 --> 00:49:41,520 One never wants to see one's mother that way. 797 00:49:41,604 --> 00:49:43,021 But I must admit, 798 00:49:43,106 --> 00:49:47,985 walking around in something so garish, so grotesque, 799 00:49:48,069 --> 00:49:50,028 I was shocked how thrilling it felt. 800 00:49:50,947 --> 00:49:52,656 I wish I could do that. 801 00:49:52,740 --> 00:49:56,368 But my mom makes me wear this stuff, and it's just so... so... 802 00:49:56,452 --> 00:50:00,414 I believe the word you're looking for is "unfortunate. " 803 00:50:00,498 --> 00:50:06,545 [sighs] I'd love to just go crazy and wear something that would shock her. 804 00:50:07,755 --> 00:50:10,215 Well, Parker, you're in luck. 805 00:50:10,300 --> 00:50:13,760 You happen to be talking to the queen of shock. 806 00:50:18,683 --> 00:50:19,725 [bird groans] 807 00:50:30,069 --> 00:50:33,030 [phone ringing] 808 00:50:34,657 --> 00:50:35,782 Hello, Mother. 809 00:50:35,867 --> 00:50:37,910 - Where's my little wraith? - [sighs] 810 00:50:37,994 --> 00:50:39,745 Wednesday still hasn't arrived. 811 00:50:39,829 --> 00:50:43,040 We agreed to come up here for tea and séance, 812 00:50:43,124 --> 00:50:45,125 and now it seems she stood me up. 813 00:50:45,210 --> 00:50:48,128 - Morticia, can you hear me? - [father] You're not doing it right. 814 00:50:48,213 --> 00:50:49,880 - Press that button. - [mother] I did. 815 00:50:49,964 --> 00:50:51,256 - Did you hear it click? - Morticia! 816 00:50:51,341 --> 00:50:53,383 [father] It's supposed to be on when you hear the click. 817 00:50:53,468 --> 00:50:54,718 - Wait, I see something. - You did it! 818 00:50:54,802 --> 00:50:57,763 [mother] Hello, darling! Now, where's my granddaughter? 819 00:50:57,847 --> 00:50:59,223 Just what I said. 820 00:50:59,307 --> 00:51:01,350 I think she's distancing herself from me. 821 00:51:01,434 --> 00:51:04,228 [mother] She's wrapped in a black hole of emptiness and longing 822 00:51:04,312 --> 00:51:05,729 like all of us Frump women. 823 00:51:05,813 --> 00:51:08,148 - [father] Wednesday... - It's not Wednesday! 824 00:51:08,233 --> 00:51:10,275 - Who's this? - It's me, Father. 825 00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:13,779 [father] Morticia, what's wrong with you now? 826 00:51:13,863 --> 00:51:16,031 The world can be so cruel. 827 00:51:16,115 --> 00:51:18,533 And all she wants to do is run toward it. 828 00:51:18,618 --> 00:51:20,118 [mother] She's a lot like you that way. 829 00:51:20,203 --> 00:51:23,789 You wanted to see the world, find yourself, serve time. 830 00:51:23,873 --> 00:51:25,499 [father] Listen, Morticia. 831 00:51:25,583 --> 00:51:29,419 Remember the time you ran away and joined the Girl Scouts? 832 00:51:30,004 --> 00:51:32,881 We were so worried you were on a bad path. 833 00:51:33,633 --> 00:51:37,052 But when you found out that campfires were for roasting marshmallows 834 00:51:37,136 --> 00:51:39,221 and not other Girl Scouts, 835 00:51:39,305 --> 00:51:41,306 well, you got bored and you came home. 836 00:51:41,391 --> 00:51:43,517 [mother] We were so relieved. 837 00:51:43,601 --> 00:51:45,143 [father] Trust Wednesday. 838 00:51:45,228 --> 00:51:48,146 Like you, she'll do the right thing. 839 00:51:48,231 --> 00:51:51,650 Thank you, Father. That's most comforting. 840 00:51:51,734 --> 00:51:55,028 [father] Good. Wait a second. When did I die? 841 00:51:55,113 --> 00:51:57,281 - [mother] Twenty years ago. - Oh, right. 842 00:51:57,365 --> 00:51:59,658 Happy anniversary, darling. 843 00:51:59,742 --> 00:52:02,828 All right, Pugsley. Let's go through it again. 844 00:52:02,912 --> 00:52:05,914 You got this, Pugsley. This mazurka's nothing. 845 00:52:07,792 --> 00:52:10,627 - You eat swords for breakfast. - [burps] 846 00:52:10,712 --> 00:52:13,255 You've just got a case of pre-ball jitters. 847 00:52:13,339 --> 00:52:15,507 It's way more common than you think. 848 00:52:15,591 --> 00:52:18,093 If a mazurka lasts for more than four hours, 849 00:52:18,177 --> 00:52:19,761 contact your doctor. 850 00:52:21,180 --> 00:52:23,181 From the top. Music. 851 00:52:24,058 --> 00:52:27,644 [jaunty melody] 852 00:52:36,404 --> 00:52:37,946 [faint whimper] 853 00:52:38,031 --> 00:52:40,657 Pugsley, I can honestly say 854 00:52:40,742 --> 00:52:44,953 that was most definitely... a thing you did. 855 00:52:45,872 --> 00:52:48,165 Question. What in heaven's name was it? 856 00:52:48,249 --> 00:52:49,499 The Sabre Mazurka. 857 00:52:49,584 --> 00:52:51,001 [gasps] 858 00:52:52,128 --> 00:52:54,296 You know what? You've been practicing hard. 859 00:52:54,380 --> 00:52:56,506 Why don't we call it a day? Hmm? 860 00:52:56,591 --> 00:52:57,924 Hit the showers, kid. 861 00:52:58,760 --> 00:53:00,135 So we're finished? 862 00:53:00,219 --> 00:53:04,806 Ah, yes. Yes, son, we are most certainly finished. 863 00:53:05,475 --> 00:53:08,018 Okay. Thanks, Pop. Thanks, Uncle Fester. 864 00:53:11,189 --> 00:53:12,439 [sighs] 865 00:53:13,066 --> 00:53:15,484 This is a complete disaster. 866 00:53:15,568 --> 00:53:16,985 How did this happen? 867 00:53:17,070 --> 00:53:19,321 He's going to make a fool of himself in front of everyone! 868 00:53:19,405 --> 00:53:21,782 Gomez! You gotta calm down! 869 00:53:21,866 --> 00:53:24,076 There's still a day to get him ready. 870 00:53:24,160 --> 00:53:27,621 Fester, a year wouldn't be enough to get him ready. 871 00:53:27,705 --> 00:53:29,664 I've failed him, Fester. 872 00:53:29,749 --> 00:53:31,833 I tried to raise him to be an Addams, 873 00:53:31,918 --> 00:53:34,294 but I failed him. 874 00:53:34,379 --> 00:53:36,880 They're going to eat him alive. 875 00:53:39,217 --> 00:53:40,842 ♪ I like it like that ♪ 876 00:53:40,927 --> 00:53:42,302 ♪ Yeah, baby ♪ 877 00:53:42,387 --> 00:53:44,137 ♪ I said I like it like that ♪ 878 00:53:44,222 --> 00:53:46,556 ♪ Oh-ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh, baby ♪ 879 00:53:46,641 --> 00:53:48,433 ♪ I like it like that ♪ 880 00:53:48,518 --> 00:53:50,519 All right, thank you. 881 00:53:50,603 --> 00:53:53,105 Grandma, we already have a band. 882 00:53:53,189 --> 00:53:55,732 They came highly recommended from the mortuary. 883 00:53:55,817 --> 00:53:57,275 Oh... [scoffs] 884 00:53:57,360 --> 00:53:58,860 I'm sure they're good. 885 00:53:58,945 --> 00:54:01,655 My sister Sloom is going to be judging Pugsley. 886 00:54:01,739 --> 00:54:03,532 And if things aren't done the traditional way, 887 00:54:03,616 --> 00:54:07,119 she won't be happy, and the mazurka could be a disaster. 888 00:54:07,703 --> 00:54:08,829 But what do I know? 889 00:54:10,081 --> 00:54:11,081 Fine. 890 00:54:11,165 --> 00:54:13,625 - Hey, we got the gig! - We got it! 891 00:54:13,709 --> 00:54:14,751 One more thing. 892 00:54:14,836 --> 00:54:17,587 Oh, someone's at the door. I'd better go see who it is. 893 00:54:21,676 --> 00:54:22,676 [gasps] 894 00:54:25,430 --> 00:54:28,974 ♪ What's so great about being yourself ♪ 895 00:54:29,058 --> 00:54:33,019 ♪ When you can be like everyone else ♪ 896 00:54:33,104 --> 00:54:35,439 Do not speak to your mother that way. 897 00:54:35,523 --> 00:54:38,233 How dare you enter this house like that. 898 00:54:38,317 --> 00:54:41,069 Wait. Where are your tattoos? 899 00:54:42,363 --> 00:54:44,948 Oh, thank the stars. Where were you? 900 00:54:45,032 --> 00:54:46,533 Hanging out with Parker. 901 00:54:46,617 --> 00:54:49,453 Is this why you skipped tea and séance? 902 00:54:49,537 --> 00:54:51,455 Your grandparents were trying to contact you. 903 00:54:51,539 --> 00:54:52,706 Holy Hades! 904 00:54:52,790 --> 00:54:56,710 Whoever did that to you, Wednesday, I hope the other guy looks worse. 905 00:54:56,794 --> 00:54:59,796 Nobody did this to me. This is my new look. 906 00:54:59,881 --> 00:55:02,090 - Do you like it? - I do not like it. 907 00:55:02,175 --> 00:55:04,176 Everyone knows pink is a gateway color. 908 00:55:04,260 --> 00:55:07,220 I warned you about sending her to public school. 909 00:55:07,305 --> 00:55:09,848 Don't worry. Wednesday is never going to that school again. 910 00:55:09,932 --> 00:55:11,183 - What? - In fact... 911 00:55:11,267 --> 00:55:13,643 she's never leaving this house again. 912 00:55:16,814 --> 00:55:19,900 Wow, that's some evil eye she's got there. 913 00:55:19,984 --> 00:55:22,986 No. That dead-eye stare is new. 914 00:55:23,070 --> 00:55:25,155 And I think I know where she got it. 915 00:55:25,698 --> 00:55:27,699 Hey, guys. This is me now. 916 00:55:27,783 --> 00:55:29,451 If you like it, hit "like. " 917 00:55:29,535 --> 00:55:32,162 But who cares if you like it? I'm living my truth. 918 00:55:32,246 --> 00:55:34,122 [screams] Parker! 919 00:55:35,666 --> 00:55:37,709 - Who did this to you? - I did. 920 00:55:38,461 --> 00:55:40,337 This is my new look, Mother. 921 00:55:40,421 --> 00:55:43,715 I decided that from now on, I choose my clothes. 922 00:55:43,799 --> 00:55:44,799 Not you. 923 00:55:44,884 --> 00:55:48,386 Ohh! This is that little creep Wednesday Addams's work. 924 00:55:48,471 --> 00:55:51,556 She's not a creep. She's just not like you. 925 00:55:51,641 --> 00:55:53,517 Why can't you ever let people be different? 926 00:55:53,601 --> 00:55:56,978 Because it's my calling to make everyone the same. 927 00:55:57,480 --> 00:55:58,647 [hisses] 928 00:55:58,731 --> 00:56:01,691 Too bright! It burns! Ah! 929 00:56:01,776 --> 00:56:04,569 Good. Maybe it'll burn away the weird. 930 00:56:04,654 --> 00:56:07,781 I hate it here. Everything's boring and fake and bright. 931 00:56:07,865 --> 00:56:10,742 Like plastic flowers. Like... Like you. 932 00:56:10,826 --> 00:56:14,204 Parker, plastic flowers live forever. 933 00:56:14,830 --> 00:56:17,624 Now, you go think about that in your room. 934 00:56:17,708 --> 00:56:19,668 With no social media. 935 00:56:19,752 --> 00:56:22,254 No! Please, no. Anything but that. 936 00:56:22,338 --> 00:56:24,798 Now, go wipe that depressing goop off your face. 937 00:56:24,882 --> 00:56:26,550 Pfft. You first. 938 00:56:26,634 --> 00:56:30,470 Oh! Those Addamses have gone too far this time. 939 00:56:30,930 --> 00:56:33,932 I think they're going to need a little more help. 940 00:56:49,740 --> 00:56:50,782 Hey! 941 00:56:52,910 --> 00:56:54,035 Where are you going? 942 00:56:54,662 --> 00:56:56,371 A friend's. 943 00:56:56,455 --> 00:57:00,667 I hold people prisoner, not the other way around. 944 00:57:00,751 --> 00:57:02,335 Good luck with your mazurka. 945 00:57:02,420 --> 00:57:04,963 Wait! You're leaving? 946 00:57:05,047 --> 00:57:06,965 Who's gonna torment me every day? 947 00:57:07,049 --> 00:57:09,884 Living under this roof is all the torment you'll need. 948 00:57:09,969 --> 00:57:12,262 Besides, our parents have made it clear 949 00:57:12,346 --> 00:57:15,098 that the only way to be accepted in this family 950 00:57:15,182 --> 00:57:18,184 is to be exactly like them. 951 00:57:18,269 --> 00:57:20,437 I can't play by those rules anymore. 952 00:57:20,521 --> 00:57:22,439 Farewell, brother Pugsley. 953 00:57:22,982 --> 00:57:24,858 Tomorrow you become a man. 954 00:57:25,443 --> 00:57:27,485 And I become a fugitive. 955 00:57:29,238 --> 00:57:31,990 Always kind of knew it'd end up like this. 956 00:57:32,074 --> 00:57:34,117 Just didn't think it'd be so soon. 957 00:57:34,702 --> 00:57:36,870 I'll never forget you, Pugsley. 958 00:57:36,954 --> 00:57:38,330 But I'll try. 959 00:57:38,956 --> 00:57:41,583 Pugsley, have you seen your sister? 960 00:57:41,667 --> 00:57:43,627 She's not in her room. 961 00:57:43,711 --> 00:57:44,961 Um... 962 00:57:45,046 --> 00:57:47,505 Pugsley, where's Wednesday? 963 00:57:47,965 --> 00:57:49,215 Um... 964 00:57:51,177 --> 00:57:55,430 Ticktock. Ticktock, Mother. 965 00:57:55,514 --> 00:57:58,224 You're getting very sleepy. 966 00:57:58,309 --> 00:57:59,768 Pugsley. 967 00:57:59,852 --> 00:58:03,313 She did not go to her friend's house. 968 00:58:03,397 --> 00:58:05,106 She went to her friend's house? 969 00:58:05,191 --> 00:58:09,069 I repeat, she did not go to her friend's... 970 00:58:09,153 --> 00:58:10,153 Agh! 971 00:58:19,413 --> 00:58:20,622 [sighs] 972 00:58:33,094 --> 00:58:34,552 [clears throat] 973 00:58:35,471 --> 00:58:39,224 ♪ When the day is long ♪ 974 00:58:40,643 --> 00:58:42,352 ♪ And the night ♪ 975 00:58:43,354 --> 00:58:47,857 ♪ The night is yours alone ♪ 976 00:58:50,903 --> 00:58:55,573 ♪ When you're sure you've had enough ♪ 977 00:58:56,367 --> 00:58:59,661 ♪ Of this life ♪ 978 00:59:00,621 --> 00:59:03,123 ♪ Hang on ♪ 979 00:59:06,168 --> 00:59:11,214 ♪ Don't let yourself go ♪ 980 00:59:13,926 --> 00:59:18,763 ♪ 'Cause everybody cries ♪ 981 00:59:21,642 --> 00:59:26,229 ♪ And everybody hurts ♪ 982 00:59:27,231 --> 00:59:29,816 - [owl hooting] - ♪ Sometimes ♪ 983 00:59:29,900 --> 00:59:32,277 I shall be staying with you for a while. 984 00:59:33,529 --> 00:59:35,280 ♪ Everybody ♪ 985 00:59:35,364 --> 00:59:40,827 ♪ Hurts ♪ 986 00:59:41,620 --> 00:59:44,581 [man] If this doesn't work, the next house we flip is gonna land on you. 987 00:59:44,665 --> 00:59:45,832 Marty, listen to me. 988 00:59:45,916 --> 00:59:48,293 Tomorrow, our finale will be the biggest half-hour 989 00:59:48,377 --> 00:59:50,211 your network has ever aired. 990 00:59:50,296 --> 00:59:52,338 There's just one more thing to take care of. 991 00:59:52,423 --> 00:59:55,008 This better be good, or you won't be able to get a job as a doormat! 992 00:59:55,092 --> 00:59:59,554 Yes, yes, yes. I intend to bring the house down. 993 01:00:05,936 --> 01:00:08,813 ["Drop It Like It's Hot" by Snoop Dogg playing] 994 01:00:13,694 --> 01:00:15,195 [man rapping] ♪ When the pimp's in the crib, Ma ♪ 995 01:00:15,279 --> 01:00:18,990 ♪ Drop it like it's hot, drop it Like it's hot, drop it like it's hot ♪ 996 01:00:19,074 --> 01:00:20,700 ♪ When the pigs try to get at you ♪ 997 01:00:20,785 --> 01:00:23,870 ♪ Park it like it's hot, park it Like it's hot, park it like it's hot ♪ 998 01:00:23,954 --> 01:00:25,705 ♪ And if a **** get an attitude ♪ 999 01:00:25,790 --> 01:00:29,000 ♪ Pop it like it's hot, pop it Like it's hot, pop it like it's hot ♪ 1000 01:00:29,084 --> 01:00:32,003 ♪ I got the Rolly on my arm And I'm pouring Chandon ♪ 1001 01:00:32,087 --> 01:00:35,006 ♪ And I roll the best **** 'Cause I got it goin' on ♪ 1002 01:00:37,218 --> 01:00:39,219 [gong resounds] 1003 01:00:40,095 --> 01:00:44,015 You rang? 1004 01:00:44,099 --> 01:00:46,518 It! Cousin! You made it! 1005 01:00:46,602 --> 01:00:47,644 [speaks gibberish] 1006 01:00:47,728 --> 01:00:50,146 Please come in. Make yourself at home. 1007 01:00:50,231 --> 01:00:51,981 [speaking gibberish] 1008 01:00:52,566 --> 01:00:54,234 Where did she hide my phone? 1009 01:00:54,318 --> 01:00:58,112 I haven't been able to post a photo of my lunch in almost three days. 1010 01:00:58,197 --> 01:00:59,781 And what about in there? 1011 01:01:00,699 --> 01:01:04,577 That's my mom's crafting room. No one is allowed in there. 1012 01:01:04,662 --> 01:01:06,371 Then that's where it is. 1013 01:01:13,963 --> 01:01:15,088 Weird. 1014 01:01:28,853 --> 01:01:31,187 - Whoa. - Hidden depths. 1015 01:01:31,272 --> 01:01:32,522 What is this? 1016 01:01:33,274 --> 01:01:35,984 There's Mr. Haney making a sandwich. 1017 01:01:36,068 --> 01:01:39,195 And that guy trying to put a tiny tuxedo on his cat. 1018 01:01:39,280 --> 01:01:40,864 - That's Mr. Flynn. - Why are you being so difficult? 1019 01:01:40,948 --> 01:01:43,825 - [cat yowls] - My money's on the cat. 1020 01:01:43,909 --> 01:01:46,703 And there's our science teacher, Ms. Gravely... 1021 01:01:46,787 --> 01:01:49,455 putting her underwear in the freezer? 1022 01:01:49,540 --> 01:01:54,752 My mom must've built hidden cameras into all of the houses. 1023 01:01:54,837 --> 01:01:56,129 She really is psycho. 1024 01:01:56,213 --> 01:01:57,338 - Parker! - [gasps] 1025 01:01:58,883 --> 01:02:00,550 [Parker] Hey, Mom. 1026 01:02:00,634 --> 01:02:02,927 We were just looking for you. 1027 01:02:03,012 --> 01:02:06,556 What have I told you about Mommy's crafting room? 1028 01:02:08,934 --> 01:02:11,811 Sorry to do this, but standards must be upheld. 1029 01:02:11,896 --> 01:02:14,355 Parker, someday you'll understand. And, Wednesday... 1030 01:02:14,899 --> 01:02:16,357 Well, anyway, Parker. 1031 01:02:18,569 --> 01:02:19,861 [grunting] 1032 01:02:19,945 --> 01:02:22,989 My mom has a lair and a jail? 1033 01:02:23,073 --> 01:02:25,450 I knew I should've picked to live with my dad. 1034 01:02:25,534 --> 01:02:27,493 We're gonna be on TV! 1035 01:02:27,578 --> 01:02:29,037 Are we gonna be famous? 1036 01:02:29,121 --> 01:02:30,496 [Denise] Glenn, what do you want in the frame? 1037 01:02:30,581 --> 01:02:32,081 Okay, everyone, listen up. 1038 01:02:32,166 --> 01:02:34,500 It's the last run-through before the finale, 1039 01:02:34,585 --> 01:02:36,878 so let's try this one last time, okay? 1040 01:02:36,962 --> 01:02:39,297 We're gonna shoot across the town square to the gazebo, 1041 01:02:39,381 --> 01:02:41,132 where Margaux will make her grand entrance. 1042 01:02:41,216 --> 01:02:45,178 So everyone will be walking this direction across the square. 1043 01:02:45,262 --> 01:02:48,848 Judy, you start here. Ken, you're gonna follow Judy. 1044 01:02:48,933 --> 01:02:50,475 You can stand right here and... 1045 01:02:51,936 --> 01:02:53,853 Is there a bathroom nearby? 1046 01:02:54,772 --> 01:02:55,897 Uh... 1047 01:02:59,109 --> 01:03:01,027 Margaux, they're here! 1048 01:03:01,111 --> 01:03:02,528 [Margaux] What are you talking about? 1049 01:03:02,613 --> 01:03:03,988 They're here! 1050 01:03:04,073 --> 01:03:06,240 The Addams family! 1051 01:03:07,618 --> 01:03:09,077 [horn honks] 1052 01:03:11,121 --> 01:03:13,331 [man screams] 1053 01:03:16,585 --> 01:03:18,169 - Pardon me. - [gasps] 1054 01:03:19,338 --> 01:03:20,338 Excuse me. 1055 01:03:20,965 --> 01:03:22,131 What are we gonna do? 1056 01:03:22,216 --> 01:03:25,051 What we always do, Glenn. 1057 01:03:25,135 --> 01:03:26,761 Help people. 1058 01:03:27,304 --> 01:03:29,097 The Addams monsters 1059 01:03:29,181 --> 01:03:33,685 are planning to attack the town tonight! 1060 01:03:33,769 --> 01:03:35,478 - Exclamation point. - [phone beeps] 1061 01:03:35,562 --> 01:03:37,522 Meet at Margaux's house now. 1062 01:03:38,232 --> 01:03:40,400 - [phone beeps] - Mmm. Oh? 1063 01:03:45,948 --> 01:03:48,449 Salutations, Addams! We're here! 1064 01:03:48,534 --> 01:03:51,786 Petunia, I love what you've done with your hair. 1065 01:03:51,870 --> 01:03:54,205 Thanks. I just had it mowed. 1066 01:03:54,289 --> 01:03:56,833 Please come in. Make yourself uncomfortable. 1067 01:03:56,917 --> 01:03:58,418 Uncle Onion! 1068 01:03:59,086 --> 01:04:00,503 It's been so long! 1069 01:04:00,587 --> 01:04:02,714 Yes. So disappointed to see you. 1070 01:04:02,798 --> 01:04:06,092 Ah! You always manage to bring a tear to my eye. 1071 01:04:07,344 --> 01:04:09,887 Greetings, Dr. Flambé. How are you doing? 1072 01:04:09,972 --> 01:04:12,098 - I'm on fire. - Good! 1073 01:04:12,182 --> 01:04:13,808 This party's gonna be lit. 1074 01:04:13,892 --> 01:04:15,727 Ah! Auntie Sloom. 1075 01:04:16,520 --> 01:04:18,646 Auntie Sloom. 1076 01:04:18,731 --> 01:04:23,484 You are as radiant as a barrel of nuclear waste. 1077 01:04:23,569 --> 01:04:26,779 Where is the boy? 1078 01:04:26,864 --> 01:04:27,864 - Pugsley! - [grunting] 1079 01:04:27,948 --> 01:04:29,615 Ah! There you are. 1080 01:04:29,700 --> 01:04:32,535 Come down and say hello to your Auntie Sloom. 1081 01:04:35,164 --> 01:04:39,500 Gomez, this tradition is not to be taken lightly. 1082 01:04:40,085 --> 01:04:42,962 I trust that the boy has been properly trained. 1083 01:04:43,047 --> 01:04:44,547 Yes, once you see how... 1084 01:04:44,631 --> 01:04:48,760 It's bad enough this mazurka is taking place in New Jersey. 1085 01:04:49,261 --> 01:04:52,263 Now, where are the drinks? I'm thirsty. 1086 01:04:52,347 --> 01:04:54,307 [Margaux] You've seen them! 1087 01:04:54,391 --> 01:04:57,060 You've heard the stories on Neighborhood Peeps. 1088 01:04:57,561 --> 01:05:02,023 Those Addams aren't people. They're monsters. 1089 01:05:02,107 --> 01:05:05,234 And now there's an infestation of them. 1090 01:05:05,319 --> 01:05:08,529 They're here to destroy our beautiful community 1091 01:05:08,614 --> 01:05:12,200 and turn into a place that no design intervention can save. 1092 01:05:12,284 --> 01:05:14,660 Addams aren't wanted here! 1093 01:05:14,745 --> 01:05:16,537 They're monsters! They're all monsters! 1094 01:05:16,622 --> 01:05:19,665 We need to destroy them first! 1095 01:05:19,750 --> 01:05:21,834 Who's with me? 1096 01:05:22,503 --> 01:05:23,795 We'll be revealing Assimilation 1097 01:05:23,879 --> 01:05:26,089 and all of you to our audience in just an hour. 1098 01:05:26,173 --> 01:05:29,509 Our last chance to help these people is now. 1099 01:05:29,593 --> 01:05:32,929 Bill, John, do you still have that lovely catapult? 1100 01:05:33,013 --> 01:05:34,305 - Yes, we do! - Yes, we do! 1101 01:05:34,389 --> 01:05:36,015 Are you sure about this? 1102 01:05:36,642 --> 01:05:38,476 We can't let them ruin our neighborhood! 1103 01:05:38,560 --> 01:05:41,104 - Let's do it! - I want them out! 1104 01:05:42,689 --> 01:05:45,399 No one torments my family but me. 1105 01:05:45,901 --> 01:05:47,151 Hair clip, please. 1106 01:05:47,903 --> 01:05:49,112 Okay. 1107 01:05:57,871 --> 01:06:00,790 - Wha... - Cage school 101. 1108 01:06:02,668 --> 01:06:04,752 He'd better be ready, or Auntie Sloom will have his head. 1109 01:06:04,837 --> 01:06:06,129 He looks very small. 1110 01:06:06,213 --> 01:06:07,964 The kid's got some big shoes to fill. 1111 01:06:08,048 --> 01:06:09,882 I certainly hope the boy is ready. 1112 01:06:09,967 --> 01:06:11,843 I'm not going easy on him. 1113 01:06:22,229 --> 01:06:23,312 Heads up! 1114 01:06:25,065 --> 01:06:26,566 Hey, alto. You're flat. 1115 01:06:26,650 --> 01:06:28,234 [gibberish] 1116 01:06:28,318 --> 01:06:30,403 [laughing] 1117 01:06:32,531 --> 01:06:33,698 Sloom. 1118 01:06:33,782 --> 01:06:34,991 Sister. 1119 01:06:35,075 --> 01:06:37,869 Darling, I know the last time we saw each other, 1120 01:06:37,953 --> 01:06:39,370 we had that horrible fight. 1121 01:06:39,454 --> 01:06:42,498 And I just wanted to tell you, from the bottom of my heart, 1122 01:06:43,125 --> 01:06:45,751 I won that fight, and I was glad I cheated! 1123 01:06:45,836 --> 01:06:47,044 You won? 1124 01:06:47,129 --> 01:06:49,797 Still a sore loser, as always! 1125 01:06:49,882 --> 01:06:52,592 I want a rematch, right here, right now. 1126 01:06:52,676 --> 01:06:55,094 Auntie Sloom, can I get you anything? 1127 01:06:55,179 --> 01:06:56,470 When's the mazurka? 1128 01:06:56,555 --> 01:06:59,891 Soon, soon. Our daughter Wednesday isn't here yet. 1129 01:06:59,975 --> 01:07:02,685 If your daughter can't be on time, 1130 01:07:02,769 --> 01:07:05,021 then we will begin without her! 1131 01:07:05,731 --> 01:07:07,899 Very well, Auntie Sloom. 1132 01:07:07,983 --> 01:07:09,567 [laughs] 1133 01:07:11,862 --> 01:07:14,697 Attention, please. Attention! 1134 01:07:17,576 --> 01:07:20,494 The hour is upon us. 1135 01:07:20,579 --> 01:07:21,579 Places! 1136 01:07:32,299 --> 01:07:35,301 ["Pomp and Circumstance"] 1137 01:07:35,385 --> 01:07:40,973 We gather today to witness my son, Pugsley Addams, 1138 01:07:41,058 --> 01:07:43,684 perform his Sabre Mazurka. 1139 01:08:06,541 --> 01:08:10,002 He will begin with a reading from The Terror, 1140 01:08:10,087 --> 01:08:13,923 which commemorates our cries in battle. 1141 01:08:19,596 --> 01:08:20,596 [gibberish] 1142 01:08:21,265 --> 01:08:23,557 [screams] 1143 01:08:29,106 --> 01:08:30,106 [gibberish] 1144 01:08:31,942 --> 01:08:34,110 [high-pitched scream] 1145 01:08:35,946 --> 01:08:39,573 And now the transition into manhood. 1146 01:08:40,784 --> 01:08:41,909 [gibberish] 1147 01:08:50,043 --> 01:08:52,461 [speaking gibberish] 1148 01:08:57,592 --> 01:09:00,344 [clears throat] And now the Sabre Mazurka. 1149 01:09:00,429 --> 01:09:02,221 [guests chattering, gasping] 1150 01:09:08,478 --> 01:09:09,770 Hold still. 1151 01:09:11,857 --> 01:09:15,776 The Addams mustache. Now you're ready. 1152 01:09:23,785 --> 01:09:25,870 [upbeat music playing] 1153 01:09:49,686 --> 01:09:50,895 [gasping] 1154 01:10:03,533 --> 01:10:07,078 ♪ Ay, ay, ay, ay ♪ 1155 01:10:12,918 --> 01:10:16,379 ♪ Ay, ay, ay, ay ♪ 1156 01:10:26,348 --> 01:10:27,390 Pugsley. 1157 01:10:29,601 --> 01:10:32,895 I give up. I can't do it, Pop. 1158 01:10:38,860 --> 01:10:39,902 I'm sorry. 1159 01:10:40,862 --> 01:10:42,154 I let you down. 1160 01:10:43,073 --> 01:10:45,533 You haven't let me down, Pugsley. 1161 01:10:47,327 --> 01:10:48,911 I let you down. 1162 01:10:48,995 --> 01:10:52,248 I was so focused on doing things the traditional way, 1163 01:10:52,332 --> 01:10:54,500 I forgot to let you be who you are. 1164 01:10:57,170 --> 01:10:59,004 [shouting] 1165 01:10:59,089 --> 01:11:03,592 [Margaux] Hey! Are you ready for your Margaux makeover now? 1166 01:11:03,677 --> 01:11:05,010 It's Margaux. 1167 01:11:05,095 --> 01:11:08,013 She must've turned the whole town into stark raving lunatics. 1168 01:11:08,098 --> 01:11:10,558 Well, I have to admit I admire her work. 1169 01:11:10,642 --> 01:11:13,394 - Let's do this, then! - It's locked and loaded, Margaux! 1170 01:11:13,478 --> 01:11:15,312 Let's go get 'em! 1171 01:11:16,523 --> 01:11:17,523 Fire! 1172 01:11:22,237 --> 01:11:26,574 [house spirit] Get out! 1173 01:11:32,831 --> 01:11:37,251 Pugsley! What is the true meaning of the mazurka? 1174 01:11:37,335 --> 01:11:41,589 It's about protecting our family from those who would do us harm. 1175 01:11:42,132 --> 01:11:45,384 Go ahead. Show them what you're good at. 1176 01:11:50,098 --> 01:11:54,435 All we have to do is pull down the side walls! 1177 01:11:54,519 --> 01:11:58,522 ♪ You shouldn't mess with me You don't want to mess with me ♪ 1178 01:11:58,607 --> 01:12:02,151 ♪ Cuz if you mess with me You're messin' with my family ♪ 1179 01:12:05,489 --> 01:12:08,157 Everyone, follow my boy! 1180 01:12:08,241 --> 01:12:09,742 [Pugsley laughs] 1181 01:12:13,246 --> 01:12:14,455 Hey, guys? 1182 01:12:18,043 --> 01:12:19,460 [screams] 1183 01:12:22,047 --> 01:12:23,380 [screams] 1184 01:12:27,761 --> 01:12:30,971 ♪ Ay, ay, ay, ay ♪ 1185 01:12:31,681 --> 01:12:35,392 ♪ You might think that we are all loco ♪ 1186 01:12:36,436 --> 01:12:38,938 ♪ Ay, ay, ay, ay ♪ 1187 01:12:39,981 --> 01:12:43,526 ♪ But this family 'bout to go global ♪ 1188 01:12:49,533 --> 01:12:50,699 [Margaux] Fire! 1189 01:12:53,620 --> 01:12:55,412 Shakalaka bang, baby! 1190 01:13:02,712 --> 01:13:04,505 Quick, out this way! 1191 01:13:09,177 --> 01:13:11,053 Pop, I'm out of ammo! 1192 01:13:12,764 --> 01:13:14,223 We're trapped! 1193 01:13:36,538 --> 01:13:38,289 Hope I'm not crashing the party. 1194 01:13:38,373 --> 01:13:39,415 [Pugsley] Wednesday! 1195 01:13:39,499 --> 01:13:40,708 Yes! 1196 01:13:40,792 --> 01:13:42,626 Ichabod, quick! Lower your branches! 1197 01:13:45,130 --> 01:13:46,755 Everyone grab on! 1198 01:14:10,322 --> 01:14:15,284 Margaux Needler never stops until the project is complete! 1199 01:14:15,368 --> 01:14:17,995 [laughs] 1200 01:14:18,705 --> 01:14:20,164 Fire in the hole! 1201 01:14:20,624 --> 01:14:21,665 Oh! 1202 01:14:21,750 --> 01:14:22,750 Mazurka! 1203 01:14:26,838 --> 01:14:28,088 [Morticia] Is everyone all right? 1204 01:14:28,173 --> 01:14:30,924 No limbs missing that weren't missing before you arrived? 1205 01:14:36,890 --> 01:14:38,432 My little raven. 1206 01:14:38,933 --> 01:14:41,268 I'm so happy you returned. 1207 01:14:41,353 --> 01:14:42,728 Of course I came back. 1208 01:14:42,812 --> 01:14:45,356 I knew there was no way you were going to save yourselves. 1209 01:14:45,440 --> 01:14:47,691 You were like weak baby squirrels. 1210 01:14:47,776 --> 01:14:50,027 [groaning] 1211 01:14:51,071 --> 01:14:52,946 It's so good to see you. 1212 01:14:53,907 --> 01:14:54,907 And you. 1213 01:15:00,622 --> 01:15:01,955 Socrates. 1214 01:15:04,042 --> 01:15:06,752 Eight legs. Nine lives. 1215 01:15:09,172 --> 01:15:11,298 [Gomez] You were right, cara mia. 1216 01:15:12,384 --> 01:15:13,842 People can be cruel. 1217 01:15:14,761 --> 01:15:16,053 What have we done? 1218 01:15:16,137 --> 01:15:18,806 They're just... a family. 1219 01:15:18,890 --> 01:15:22,017 A family? Please! They're a bunch of monsters. 1220 01:15:22,102 --> 01:15:24,353 Don't go soft on me, people. 1221 01:15:24,437 --> 01:15:26,480 I will relish hounding you 1222 01:15:26,564 --> 01:15:28,774 until that nuclear waste dump of a house is gone 1223 01:15:28,858 --> 01:15:31,694 and your mutant "family" along with it. Ha! 1224 01:15:31,778 --> 01:15:34,196 Be careful what you wish for, Miss Needler. 1225 01:15:34,906 --> 01:15:38,701 My family and I will never run from the likes of you again. 1226 01:15:42,789 --> 01:15:44,415 [stammers] 1227 01:15:44,499 --> 01:15:46,250 Deep breath, Margaux. 1228 01:15:46,334 --> 01:15:48,001 Okay, I have a finale to shoot. 1229 01:15:48,086 --> 01:15:49,503 Parker, let's go. 1230 01:15:49,587 --> 01:15:51,380 I'm not going anywhere with you. 1231 01:15:51,965 --> 01:15:53,173 I'm staying with my friend. 1232 01:15:53,258 --> 01:15:56,468 Your friend? Parker, these people are freaks. 1233 01:15:56,553 --> 01:15:58,429 If they're freaks, then I'm a freak. 1234 01:15:58,513 --> 01:16:00,514 And so are all of you. 1235 01:16:00,598 --> 01:16:05,185 Exhibit A: Ms. Gravely. You put your underwear in the freezer. 1236 01:16:05,270 --> 01:16:07,271 Hey, it's refreshing, okay? 1237 01:16:07,355 --> 01:16:11,692 Exhibit B: Trudy Pickering. You sit on the toilet backwards. 1238 01:16:11,776 --> 01:16:14,236 Well, where else am I supposed to put my arms? 1239 01:16:14,320 --> 01:16:16,405 Wait. How did you know that? 1240 01:16:16,489 --> 01:16:20,659 Because your houses have been infested with Needler-Vision. 1241 01:16:20,744 --> 01:16:23,120 She has hidden cameras everywhere. 1242 01:16:23,204 --> 01:16:26,874 - What? - And watches you all of the time. 1243 01:16:26,958 --> 01:16:29,960 - In my private time? - What else has she seen? 1244 01:16:30,044 --> 01:16:31,712 That is over the line. 1245 01:16:31,796 --> 01:16:34,298 Shut up! Listen, you lemmings. 1246 01:16:34,382 --> 01:16:36,133 This is my town. 1247 01:16:36,217 --> 01:16:39,011 You are nothing but a bunch of extras. 1248 01:16:39,095 --> 01:16:42,723 We are going to march down that hill and do a live show. 1249 01:16:42,807 --> 01:16:46,769 I expect you to convince those brainless peons out there in the audience 1250 01:16:46,853 --> 01:16:49,354 that this is the perfect place to buy a house, 1251 01:16:49,439 --> 01:16:51,940 or none of you will be living here much longer. 1252 01:16:52,025 --> 01:16:53,692 - Do you hear me? - Actually, Mom... 1253 01:16:53,777 --> 01:16:55,402 everyone can hear you. 1254 01:16:55,487 --> 01:16:57,613 You've been live this whole time. 1255 01:16:57,697 --> 01:17:01,074 Three million people are watching you right now. 1256 01:17:01,159 --> 01:17:02,951 The real you, for a change. 1257 01:17:03,036 --> 01:17:06,121 Please. What do I care what a bunch of bloggers think? 1258 01:17:06,206 --> 01:17:07,581 - Margaux? - What? 1259 01:17:07,665 --> 01:17:11,460 It's the network. They're taking your show off the air. 1260 01:17:11,544 --> 01:17:15,088 What? No. I'll be bankrupt. 1261 01:17:15,173 --> 01:17:16,632 Who will buy all these houses? 1262 01:17:16,716 --> 01:17:19,218 Okay, watch this. Now's my chance. 1263 01:17:19,719 --> 01:17:23,347 Excuse me. [clears throat] I just tooted. 1264 01:17:23,431 --> 01:17:26,683 Furthermore, I think I can help you get rid of those houses. 1265 01:17:26,768 --> 01:17:27,976 What are you talking about? 1266 01:17:28,061 --> 01:17:31,647 Well, my dear, you've got a bunch of houses you need to get rid of 1267 01:17:31,731 --> 01:17:34,525 and I got a bunch of family I need to get rid of. 1268 01:17:35,068 --> 01:17:36,151 [woman] Hello? 1269 01:17:36,694 --> 01:17:38,695 Excuse me. I'm Trudy. 1270 01:17:39,531 --> 01:17:43,367 Trudy Pickering. We never officially met. 1271 01:17:43,451 --> 01:17:45,744 Ah, yes. The toilet woman. 1272 01:17:45,829 --> 01:17:46,954 Right. 1273 01:17:47,038 --> 01:17:52,000 Listen. Please give us a chance to make it right. 1274 01:17:52,085 --> 01:17:55,629 Let us have our own design intervention. 1275 01:17:57,006 --> 01:18:00,133 Mother, I spent time with these people. 1276 01:18:00,218 --> 01:18:04,179 And it is true, they are... odd. 1277 01:18:04,264 --> 01:18:07,766 But we shouldn't judge them just because they're different. 1278 01:18:30,373 --> 01:18:31,915 Have a wonderful day. 1279 01:18:32,667 --> 01:18:34,293 Thanks! Bye! 1280 01:18:34,961 --> 01:18:36,587 Have a good day! 1281 01:18:39,924 --> 01:18:41,800 Well, hello there. 1282 01:18:41,885 --> 01:18:44,595 Howdy, neighbor. How's the new house? 1283 01:18:44,679 --> 01:18:48,307 I love it. I hope you brought your umbrellas. 1284 01:18:48,391 --> 01:18:52,019 You put in a typhoon. What a great idea. 1285 01:18:52,103 --> 01:18:54,062 Don't forget the gift basket, silly. 1286 01:18:54,147 --> 01:18:57,858 Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got scented embalming fluid, 1287 01:18:57,942 --> 01:19:00,611 toes, teeth, a fruitcake, 1288 01:19:00,695 --> 01:19:03,572 rat bait, got some dried apricots. 1289 01:19:03,656 --> 01:19:07,576 [laughs] He's like training a puppy. Adorable but tiresome. 1290 01:19:07,660 --> 01:19:09,536 She's the woman of my dreams! 1291 01:19:09,621 --> 01:19:12,080 Her breath is like a baby's diaper. 1292 01:19:12,165 --> 01:19:14,541 [laughs] Fester, stop. 1293 01:19:14,626 --> 01:19:18,170 Who would've thought a guy like me, a total zero, 1294 01:19:18,254 --> 01:19:21,298 would've ended up with you, an also zero? 1295 01:19:21,382 --> 01:19:22,966 Well, do come in. 1296 01:19:25,929 --> 01:19:29,431 [Sloom] Now with the house rebuilt, Pugsley, 1297 01:19:29,515 --> 01:19:33,727 we can throw you the celebration you deserve. 1298 01:19:34,479 --> 01:19:38,398 You are Addams, through and through. 1299 01:19:38,483 --> 01:19:40,400 [cheering, applause] 1300 01:19:56,459 --> 01:20:00,504 [house spirit] Get out! 1301 01:20:01,047 --> 01:20:03,840 Oh, how lovely. The spirit's home. 1302 01:20:04,384 --> 01:20:06,677 Finally back to normal. 1303 01:20:08,346 --> 01:20:10,097 [gibberish] 1304 01:20:13,226 --> 01:20:14,518 We did good. 1305 01:20:14,602 --> 01:20:16,395 I won't tell anyone if you don't. 1306 01:20:21,526 --> 01:20:23,485 [ The Addams Familytheme song playing] 1307 01:20:37,500 --> 01:20:39,501 ♪ They're creepy and they're kooky ♪ 1308 01:20:39,585 --> 01:20:41,628 ♪ Mysterious and spooky ♪ 1309 01:20:41,713 --> 01:20:43,463 ♪ They're altogether ooky ♪ 1310 01:20:43,548 --> 01:20:45,424 ♪ The Addams Family ♪ 1311 01:20:45,508 --> 01:20:47,676 ♪ Their house is a museum ♪ 1312 01:20:47,760 --> 01:20:49,511 ♪ When people come to see 'em ♪ 1313 01:20:49,595 --> 01:20:51,596 ♪ They really are a scream ♪ 1314 01:20:51,681 --> 01:20:53,432 ♪ The Addams Family ♪ 1315 01:20:54,559 --> 01:20:55,767 ♪ Neat ♪ 1316 01:20:56,561 --> 01:20:57,769 ♪ Sweet ♪ 1317 01:21:00,314 --> 01:21:01,440 ♪ Petite ♪ 1318 01:21:01,524 --> 01:21:03,316 ♪ So get a witch's shawl on ♪ 1319 01:21:03,401 --> 01:21:05,444 ♪ A broomstick you can crawl on ♪ 1320 01:21:05,528 --> 01:21:07,404 ♪ We're gonna pay a call on ♪ 1321 01:21:07,488 --> 01:21:10,073 ♪ The Addams Family ♪ 1322 01:21:11,826 --> 01:21:14,911 ♪ Family, family, family I go to war with my family ♪ 1323 01:21:15,663 --> 01:21:18,540 ♪ Up and downs Wrong or right, that's family ♪ 1324 01:21:19,333 --> 01:21:21,626 ♪ They think that we crazy They say that we crazy, can't handle it ♪ 1325 01:21:21,711 --> 01:21:23,837 ♪ Crazy My back on the wall, back ♪ 1326 01:21:23,921 --> 01:21:25,756 ♪ Who I'mma call? My family ♪ 1327 01:21:25,840 --> 01:21:29,509 ♪ We different, we stick out Wig out, wig out, bug out ♪ 1328 01:21:29,594 --> 01:21:33,346 ♪ Pop out, hop out, ball out, show out ♪ 1329 01:21:33,431 --> 01:21:34,598 ♪ Ay, this a party ♪ 1330 01:21:34,682 --> 01:21:36,808 ♪ Let's not make a problem, no ♪ 1331 01:21:36,893 --> 01:21:40,103 ♪ Why you lookin' at me Like you startin' something? ♪ 1332 01:21:40,188 --> 01:21:43,315 ♪ You should know it's not just me That you'll be rubbin' ♪ 1333 01:21:43,399 --> 01:21:46,026 ♪ The wrong way So you better think twice ♪ 1334 01:21:47,278 --> 01:21:50,655 ♪ You shouldn't mess with me You don't wanna mess with me ♪ 1335 01:21:50,740 --> 01:21:54,201 ♪ Cuz if you mess with me You're messin' with my family ♪ 1336 01:21:54,285 --> 01:21:57,788 ♪ You shouldn't mess with me You don't wanna mess with me ♪ 1337 01:21:57,872 --> 01:22:00,707 ♪ Cuz if you mess with me You're messing with my family ♪ 1338 01:22:01,250 --> 01:22:04,252 ♪ Ay, ay, ay, ay ♪ 1339 01:22:04,337 --> 01:22:08,090 ♪ You might think that we are all loco ♪ 1340 01:22:08,508 --> 01:22:11,384 ♪ Ay, ay, ay, ay Don't mess with my family ♪ 1341 01:22:11,469 --> 01:22:14,346 ♪ But this family's 'bout to go global ♪ 1342 01:22:14,430 --> 01:22:15,722 ♪ We blowin' up! ♪ 1343 01:22:20,937 --> 01:22:24,147 [rapping in Spanish] 1344 01:22:35,618 --> 01:22:36,952 ♪ Don't mess with my family ♪ 1345 01:22:37,036 --> 01:22:38,161 ♪ Ay, this a party ♪ 1346 01:22:38,246 --> 01:22:40,330 ♪ Let's not make a problem, no ♪ 1347 01:22:40,414 --> 01:22:43,875 ♪ Why you lookin' at me Like you startin' something? ♪ 1348 01:22:43,960 --> 01:22:46,920 ♪ You should know it's not just me That you'll be rubbin' ♪ 1349 01:22:47,004 --> 01:22:49,589 ♪ The wrong way So you better think twice ♪ 1350 01:22:50,800 --> 01:22:54,344 ♪ You shouldn't mess with me You don't wanna mess with me ♪ 1351 01:22:54,428 --> 01:22:57,764 ♪ Cuz if you mess with me You're messin' with my family ♪ 1352 01:22:57,849 --> 01:23:01,309 ♪ You shouldn't mess with me You don't wanna mess with me ♪ 1353 01:23:01,394 --> 01:23:04,771 ♪ Cuz if you mess with me You're messin' with my family ♪ 1354 01:23:09,694 --> 01:23:12,154 ♪ You're messin' with my family ♪ 1355 01:23:12,238 --> 01:23:13,864 ♪ La familia ♪ 1356 01:23:17,368 --> 01:23:18,910 ♪ Don't mess with my family, no ♪ 1357 01:23:18,995 --> 01:23:22,080 ♪ Ay, ay, ay, ay ♪ 1358 01:23:22,165 --> 01:23:25,584 ♪ You might think that we are all loco ♪ 1359 01:23:26,169 --> 01:23:29,254 ♪ Ay, ay, ay ♪ 1360 01:23:29,338 --> 01:23:32,340 ♪ But this family 'bout to go global ♪ 1361 01:23:33,259 --> 01:23:36,678 ♪ They say that we mean They say that we rude ♪ 1362 01:23:36,762 --> 01:23:39,723 ♪ They say we got problems But we say it's cool ♪ 1363 01:23:40,558 --> 01:23:43,393 ♪ Family, family, family I go to war with my family ♪ 1364 01:23:43,895 --> 01:23:47,147 ♪ Ups and downs Wrong or right, that's family ♪ 1365 01:23:47,231 --> 01:23:50,317 ♪ Ay, ay, ay, ay ♪ 1366 01:23:50,401 --> 01:23:52,652 ♪ You might think that we are all loco ♪ 1367 01:23:52,737 --> 01:23:54,446 ♪ Don't mess with my family ♪ 1368 01:23:54,530 --> 01:23:57,365 ♪ Ay, ay, ay ♪ 1369 01:23:57,450 --> 01:24:00,702 ♪ But this family 'bout to go global ♪ 1370 01:24:09,545 --> 01:24:12,589 ♪ There's no ground when you fall for me ♪ 1371 01:24:13,591 --> 01:24:17,010 ♪ You'll be falling for miles ♪ 1372 01:24:17,678 --> 01:24:20,555 ♪ I'm bewitched by your misery ♪ 1373 01:24:22,725 --> 01:24:26,061 ♪ But I love it when you smile ♪ 1374 01:24:26,145 --> 01:24:28,730 ♪ Let me know what you want from me ♪ 1375 01:24:30,358 --> 01:24:33,818 ♪ Whisper low in my ears ♪ 1376 01:24:33,903 --> 01:24:36,821 ♪ Before you try to get your hooks in me ♪ 1377 01:24:38,908 --> 01:24:42,869 ♪ I should warn you, my dear ♪ 1378 01:24:42,954 --> 01:24:46,623 ♪ My heart is a haunted house ♪ 1379 01:24:46,707 --> 01:24:50,585 ♪ Once you're in, you ain't gettin' out ♪ 1380 01:24:50,670 --> 01:24:54,005 ♪ It's the trap you've been waitin' for ♪ 1381 01:24:54,674 --> 01:24:57,968 ♪ Ain't no windows, ain't no doors ♪ 1382 01:24:58,052 --> 01:25:00,971 ♪ No escapin' the way you feel ♪ 1383 01:25:02,807 --> 01:25:06,268 ♪ It's like a dream But you hope it's real ♪ 1384 01:25:06,352 --> 01:25:08,478 ♪ My, my, my heart ♪ 1385 01:25:10,106 --> 01:25:14,192 ♪ M-M-M-M-My heart is a haunted ♪ 1386 01:25:14,277 --> 01:25:16,319 ♪ Haunted house ♪ 1387 01:25:21,784 --> 01:25:24,661 ♪ Watch your step when you walk to me ♪ 1388 01:25:25,705 --> 01:25:29,624 ♪ Caredul where your heart treads ♪ 1389 01:25:29,709 --> 01:25:32,961 ♪ Suddenly you'll be in too deep ♪ 1390 01:25:34,547 --> 01:25:38,091 ♪ You'll be caught up in my web ♪ 1391 01:25:38,175 --> 01:25:40,635 ♪ You will think of me constantly ♪ 1392 01:25:41,971 --> 01:25:44,681 ♪ It'll drive you insane ♪ 1393 01:25:45,766 --> 01:25:48,852 ♪ Like the tattoo you can't remove ♪ 1394 01:25:50,730 --> 01:25:55,108 ♪ Like the blood in your veins ♪ 1395 01:25:55,192 --> 01:25:58,695 ♪ My heart is a haunted house ♪ 1396 01:25:58,779 --> 01:26:02,699 ♪ Once you're in, you ain't gettin' out ♪ 1397 01:26:02,783 --> 01:26:06,703 ♪ It's the trap you've been waitin' for ♪ 1398 01:26:06,787 --> 01:26:10,123 ♪ Ain't no windows, ain't no doors ♪ 1399 01:26:10,207 --> 01:26:12,834 ♪ No escapin' the way you feel ♪ 1400 01:26:14,837 --> 01:26:18,423 ♪ It's like a dream But you hope it's real ♪ 1401 01:26:18,507 --> 01:26:20,342 ♪ My, my, my heart ♪ 1402 01:26:21,802 --> 01:26:26,306 ♪ M-M-M-M-My heart is a haunted ♪ 1403 01:26:26,390 --> 01:26:28,475 ♪ Haunted house ♪ 1404 01:26:30,728 --> 01:26:33,772 [vocalizing] 1405 01:26:33,856 --> 01:26:37,192 ♪ It's a haunted house ♪ 1406 01:26:38,527 --> 01:26:41,279 [vocalizing continues]