1 00:00:43,166 --> 00:00:45,915 Right after the break, we're going to interview David Kern, 2 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,873 who cIimbed the highest mountain in the worId, Mount Everest, 3 00:00:48,958 --> 00:00:50,249 but he's gay. 4 00:00:50,333 --> 00:00:52,957 I mean, he's gay. Excuse me, he's bIind. 5 00:00:53,624 --> 00:00:57,456 More teens are having fuck... (STAMMERS) Having Iuck, rather. 6 00:00:57,666 --> 00:01:00,623 One way to do a turkey caII is with this gobbIer 7 00:01:00,749 --> 00:01:02,581 that aIIows the air to vibrate. (GOBBLING) 8 00:01:02,666 --> 00:01:03,665 You shouId try it. 9 00:01:03,749 --> 00:01:05,124 I'd Iove to. Go ahead, I want to see this. 10 00:01:05,250 --> 00:01:07,165 No, no. (LAUGHING) 11 00:01:07,250 --> 00:01:08,665 That just wasn't right. Yeah. 12 00:01:08,749 --> 00:01:10,040 It's a beautifuI MemoriaI Day. 13 00:01:10,125 --> 00:01:11,915 We have peopIe out here sunbathing. 14 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,540 We have peopIe tossing the baII around. 15 00:01:13,624 --> 00:01:15,748 And we reaIIy want to advise that you guys 16 00:01:15,916 --> 00:01:17,999 try to make it a safe MemoriaI Day. 17 00:01:18,083 --> 00:01:19,540 I'm a bird, bitch! (CAWING) 18 00:01:19,624 --> 00:01:21,748 Okay, dude. God damn it, man! 19 00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:23,915 WeII, I'm sure you needed it, Annie. 20 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,707 Did you get many spankings as a kid? 21 00:01:26,083 --> 00:01:28,915 Um... As a kid, no. I... Wait. (CHUCKLES) 22 00:01:29,833 --> 00:01:30,915 (BOTH LAUGHING) 23 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:31,999 Wait a minute. 24 00:01:32,083 --> 00:01:34,623 Susenko Energy is announcing a proposaI to jack off... 25 00:01:34,708 --> 00:01:35,832 Jack up. Excuse me. 26 00:01:35,916 --> 00:01:37,374 What is your comment on the resuIts of the proceedings? 27 00:01:37,457 --> 00:01:38,456 I have no comment. 28 00:01:38,541 --> 00:01:39,957 How do you think your case is affected... 29 00:01:40,041 --> 00:01:41,040 (EXCLAIMS IN PAIN) 30 00:01:41,708 --> 00:01:44,873 What reaIIy happened on that Thursday here at CentraI High 31 00:01:44,958 --> 00:01:47,124 that Ied to Tim Johnson's... (GAGS) 32 00:01:47,499 --> 00:01:49,207 What the fuck was that? 33 00:01:49,582 --> 00:01:50,540 Shit. 34 00:01:50,624 --> 00:01:54,249 God, I'm dying in this fucking country-ass, fucked-up town. 35 00:01:54,333 --> 00:01:55,915 Here they come down the hiII. 36 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:58,374 It Iooks Iike Reuben is in the Iead, and here he comes now... 37 00:01:58,874 --> 00:01:59,999 (GRUNTS) 38 00:02:00,582 --> 00:02:03,832 An infestation of Canadian brown finches, which is a smaII bird... 39 00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:05,290 (CHUCKLES) 40 00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:07,456 I guess I shouId have seen that one coming, huh? (PEOPLE LAUGHING) 41 00:02:08,582 --> 00:02:09,581 (SPITS) 42 00:02:10,250 --> 00:02:11,249 (GAGS) 43 00:02:11,708 --> 00:02:13,581 JOE: We now send it over to Meghan MiIes. Meghan? 44 00:02:13,666 --> 00:02:15,957 Hey, Joe, I'm here at the ASPCA, where on... 45 00:02:16,041 --> 00:02:17,124 (YOWLING) (SCREAMS) 46 00:02:17,208 --> 00:02:20,207 Oh, boy. I think she's actuaIIy hurt there. Ooh. 47 00:02:20,291 --> 00:02:22,790 I think she is. Meghan, are you okay? 48 00:02:22,874 --> 00:02:23,873 JOE: Okay, Meghan? 49 00:02:23,916 --> 00:02:25,332 We'II get a medic over to her. Yeah. 50 00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:31,040 Thank you so much for coming with me. 51 00:02:31,125 --> 00:02:32,124 You're my girI. Team. 52 00:02:32,208 --> 00:02:33,165 Right. Team. 53 00:02:33,250 --> 00:02:35,207 Oh, my God. They're not going to bring up the cat thing, right? 54 00:02:35,291 --> 00:02:38,623 That was 1 00 years ago. No one Iooks at those YouTube things anymore. 55 00:02:38,708 --> 00:02:40,249 Yeah, right. ReIax, Meghan. 56 00:02:40,333 --> 00:02:41,623 ReIax. 57 00:02:42,083 --> 00:02:43,332 Ooh. It's the network. 58 00:02:43,416 --> 00:02:45,415 It's a big step up from IocaI, but you are ready. 59 00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:46,498 Oh, I'm ready. 60 00:02:46,582 --> 00:02:47,581 Just be yourseIf. 61 00:02:47,666 --> 00:02:49,623 No, I'm going to be exactIy what they want me to be. 62 00:02:49,958 --> 00:02:51,040 "Anchor." 63 00:02:51,582 --> 00:02:54,165 It is both a noun and a verb. 64 00:02:55,125 --> 00:02:58,456 A reIiabIe or principaI support, but in action, 65 00:02:59,166 --> 00:03:00,915 it means to hoId fast. 66 00:03:01,250 --> 00:03:02,290 Hmm. 67 00:03:02,374 --> 00:03:04,498 I beIieve I can do that for your viewers, 68 00:03:05,083 --> 00:03:06,415 be the center, 69 00:03:06,916 --> 00:03:08,290 and hoId them, 70 00:03:09,083 --> 00:03:10,082 steady. 71 00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:11,957 TeII us more about yourseIf. 72 00:03:12,624 --> 00:03:14,748 WeII, I was raised in Texas. 73 00:03:15,374 --> 00:03:18,290 I studied journaIism at the University of Texas. 74 00:03:18,457 --> 00:03:21,124 I Iove to read. I'm a voracious reader. 75 00:03:21,874 --> 00:03:23,707 MostIy historicaI fiction. 76 00:03:23,791 --> 00:03:26,498 Have you read Toni Morrison's BeIoved? 77 00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:28,790 Of course. 78 00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:30,498 Good answer. ALL: Hmm. 79 00:03:30,582 --> 00:03:33,707 My roIe modeIs incIude my parents, which I know is corny, 80 00:03:33,791 --> 00:03:36,165 but they've been married 35 years, 81 00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:40,249 and I am recentIy engaged. 82 00:03:40,332 --> 00:03:41,581 We Iike that. 83 00:03:41,749 --> 00:03:44,249 We'II have a decision in two weeks. There isn't any 84 00:03:45,250 --> 00:03:48,082 dirt in your past that we shouId know about? 85 00:03:49,416 --> 00:03:50,540 SkeIetons? 86 00:03:51,499 --> 00:03:53,331 Bones of any kind? 87 00:03:54,416 --> 00:03:56,124 I'm a good girI. 88 00:03:59,874 --> 00:04:01,915 GUARD: Morning, Meghan MiIes. Be weII. 89 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:02,999 MEGHAN: Good day. Good day. 90 00:04:03,083 --> 00:04:04,665 DAN: Hey, Iooking good, Chuck Rogers. 91 00:04:04,749 --> 00:04:06,082 WOMAN: Five minutes to air, peopIe. 92 00:04:06,166 --> 00:04:07,456 Hey. Hey. 93 00:04:07,833 --> 00:04:10,498 So, I just spoke to my source inside the network. 94 00:04:10,582 --> 00:04:11,581 And? 95 00:04:11,666 --> 00:04:13,248 It's down to you and Wendy Chang. (GASPS) 96 00:04:13,374 --> 00:04:15,832 The decision shouId come down today. Don't be nervous. 97 00:04:15,916 --> 00:04:17,790 Don't be nervous? You shouIdn't have toId me. 98 00:04:17,874 --> 00:04:18,832 Breathe. 99 00:04:18,916 --> 00:04:19,915 (EXHALES DEEPLY) 100 00:04:20,416 --> 00:04:21,415 (YELLS) 101 00:04:23,208 --> 00:04:24,957 (PHONE RINGS) Wow. Oh, gosh, hang on, hang on. 102 00:04:26,332 --> 00:04:27,331 This is Meghan MiIes. 103 00:04:27,624 --> 00:04:29,748 Meghan, you dirty hooker. 104 00:04:30,083 --> 00:04:32,124 Rosie, stop. I'm about to go on-air. 105 00:04:32,208 --> 00:04:35,540 Okay, good. But be advised that we are going out tonight to ceIebrate. 106 00:04:35,624 --> 00:04:36,999 Honey, I didn't get the job yet. 107 00:04:37,083 --> 00:04:38,165 Minor detaiI. 108 00:04:38,249 --> 00:04:39,289 I don't know. 109 00:04:39,374 --> 00:04:40,873 It's been a reaIIy Iong week. 110 00:04:40,958 --> 00:04:42,540 Shh. Don't be a cockblocker. 111 00:04:42,624 --> 00:04:45,873 Repeat after me, "I wiII not bIock the cock." 112 00:04:45,958 --> 00:04:48,707 You know what? Rosie, hang on. I have another caII. It couId be the network. 113 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,040 This is Meghan MiIes. 114 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,165 MEGHAN'S MOM: Meg, honey. 115 00:04:53,249 --> 00:04:54,248 Hey, Mama. 116 00:04:54,457 --> 00:04:56,248 We just saw your Iast newscast. 117 00:04:56,499 --> 00:04:58,289 You did such a good job. 118 00:04:58,374 --> 00:05:01,748 AIthough that outfit was a IittIe reveaIing by about a button. 119 00:05:01,916 --> 00:05:05,581 (GASPS) ReaIIy? Oh, I've been teIIing wardrobe to watch out for it. 120 00:05:05,666 --> 00:05:06,957 Thank you for the feedback. 121 00:05:07,041 --> 00:05:08,206 Well, we love you. 122 00:05:08,290 --> 00:05:09,707 Say hi to KyIe. 123 00:05:09,791 --> 00:05:10,832 l love you, too. 124 00:05:10,916 --> 00:05:12,082 TaIk soon. 125 00:05:13,457 --> 00:05:14,999 Fine, I wiII not bIock the cock. 126 00:05:15,083 --> 00:05:16,331 StiII me, hon. 127 00:05:16,416 --> 00:05:17,498 (GASPS) 128 00:05:17,582 --> 00:05:18,999 I'm so sorry, Mama. 129 00:05:20,249 --> 00:05:24,040 ANNOUNCER: This is KZLA, Live at 5:00, Eyewitness News. 130 00:05:24,125 --> 00:05:25,124 With Jane Rain... 131 00:05:25,207 --> 00:05:26,707 Camera one. Ready, Chuck? Let's do this. 132 00:05:26,791 --> 00:05:30,248 ...Chuck Rogers, sports. And Chopper Steve, traffic. 133 00:05:31,499 --> 00:05:33,040 WiII you stop it? My mother is going to kiII me. 134 00:05:34,582 --> 00:05:37,498 Good evening, Los AngeIes. I'm Meghan MiIes. 135 00:05:37,582 --> 00:05:38,790 Our top story... 136 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,164 WeII, the day is upon us. 137 00:05:41,249 --> 00:05:44,124 A traffic nightmare of bibIicaI proportions. 138 00:05:44,207 --> 00:05:46,498 What some are caIIing "CarpocaIypse Now." 139 00:05:46,749 --> 00:05:48,082 Portions of the 10 Freeway 140 00:05:48,165 --> 00:05:51,082 will be closed for construction during this coming weekend. 141 00:05:51,165 --> 00:05:53,665 For more, Iet's go to our own Chopper Steve. 142 00:05:53,749 --> 00:05:56,040 Chopper Steve, can you teII us what it's Iike up there? 143 00:05:56,582 --> 00:05:58,331 Oh. Doing great. Fantastic. 144 00:05:58,416 --> 00:05:59,540 Chopper Steve, are you texting? 145 00:05:59,624 --> 00:06:00,748 Yeah, yeah. 146 00:06:00,833 --> 00:06:03,498 No worries. Who's going to pull me over up here? (LAUGHS) 147 00:06:03,874 --> 00:06:05,665 lt's sailing pretty smoothly down there right now, 148 00:06:05,749 --> 00:06:06,915 but we're warning drivers about 149 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,665 massive congestion this weekend. 150 00:06:08,749 --> 00:06:11,331 So, you're saying they shouId "steer cIear"? 151 00:06:11,416 --> 00:06:13,456 Oh. "Steer clear." 152 00:06:14,083 --> 00:06:15,124 (CHUCKLES) 153 00:06:15,207 --> 00:06:16,832 l got that one, Meghan Miles. 154 00:06:16,916 --> 00:06:18,790 Good one, good one. Like steering the car. 155 00:06:18,874 --> 00:06:22,082 Thanks, Chopper Steve. We'II check back with you in the 6:00 hour. 156 00:06:22,165 --> 00:06:24,540 Check back? What? Did my check bounce? 157 00:06:24,749 --> 00:06:26,248 Oh! Sorry. 158 00:06:26,332 --> 00:06:28,748 Okay. Bye now, Chopper Steve. FIy safe. 159 00:06:29,124 --> 00:06:30,665 CHOPPER STEVE: Real smooth, Chopper Steve. 160 00:06:31,165 --> 00:06:33,248 Fucking loser. l should just crash this thing 161 00:06:33,332 --> 00:06:34,415 into the Hollywood sign, end it all. 162 00:06:34,541 --> 00:06:36,289 Chopper Steve, we can stiII hear you. 163 00:06:36,374 --> 00:06:38,123 Your mic is on. Live mic. (GASPS) 164 00:06:38,374 --> 00:06:39,373 Copy that. 165 00:06:39,624 --> 00:06:41,790 For continuing updates on the CarpocaIypse, 166 00:06:41,874 --> 00:06:42,957 stay with KZLA for aII your news needs. 167 00:06:43,290 --> 00:06:46,164 The Ventura County ItaIian-American CIub did a great job, 168 00:06:46,249 --> 00:06:48,498 but don't caII Mr. Guinness just yet. 169 00:06:48,582 --> 00:06:52,707 It turns out the worId's Iargest meatbaII resides in Genoa, ItaIy. 170 00:06:52,791 --> 00:06:54,748 That's aII for now. Stay tuned for more 171 00:06:54,833 --> 00:06:56,623 KZLA coverage on CarpocaIypse, 172 00:06:56,708 --> 00:07:00,248 and find out what simpIe househoId item may just be fataI. 173 00:07:00,749 --> 00:07:03,081 I'm Meghan MiIes. Be weII. 174 00:07:04,708 --> 00:07:05,915 And we're cIear. 175 00:07:06,416 --> 00:07:07,415 Great. 176 00:07:07,499 --> 00:07:09,748 (EXHALES) Chopper Steve, is he on his meds? 177 00:07:09,833 --> 00:07:11,206 DAN: Short answer, no. 178 00:07:11,833 --> 00:07:13,248 Did anybody caII? Did you get any emaiIs? 179 00:07:13,332 --> 00:07:14,540 Any text messages I need to know about? 180 00:07:14,624 --> 00:07:15,873 No, no, no. CaIm down. CaIm down. 181 00:07:15,958 --> 00:07:16,999 (SIGHS) 182 00:07:17,082 --> 00:07:18,456 I'm going to hear from them. 183 00:07:18,541 --> 00:07:19,873 And I'II caII you at home. 184 00:07:23,332 --> 00:07:26,581 DENISE: I can't wait to get my drink on. And get my dance on. 185 00:07:27,207 --> 00:07:28,373 And just those two things. 186 00:07:28,457 --> 00:07:29,873 Denise. What? 187 00:07:30,791 --> 00:07:34,123 Meghan! 188 00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:35,915 Meghan MiIes! 189 00:07:36,541 --> 00:07:38,248 Either she's not home or she's ignoring us. 190 00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:40,331 Or she's incapacitated, tied up, 191 00:07:40,416 --> 00:07:42,707 or maybe she had a stroke or a seizure or something. 192 00:07:42,791 --> 00:07:45,164 Denise, this is Brentwood. Nothing bad ever happens in... 193 00:07:45,249 --> 00:07:47,540 Oh, my God, O.J. Simpson. I just remembered that. 194 00:07:47,624 --> 00:07:49,707 Meghan! It's open. 195 00:07:49,791 --> 00:07:50,790 (ROSE GROANS) 196 00:07:50,916 --> 00:07:53,456 Honey, you are not back on the farm in Texas. 197 00:07:53,541 --> 00:07:55,832 You cannot just Ieave your door unIocked. 198 00:07:55,916 --> 00:07:57,748 Oh, hey, party girIs. What's up? 199 00:07:58,749 --> 00:08:01,081 What do you want to drink? I have tap water. 200 00:08:01,290 --> 00:08:04,289 Wait, what's going on? Where's KyIe? 201 00:08:05,249 --> 00:08:06,790 He's at the supermarket. 202 00:08:06,874 --> 00:08:09,415 And where's aII your stuff? 203 00:08:10,499 --> 00:08:11,707 Oh. Um... 204 00:08:12,332 --> 00:08:14,748 KyIe took it aII to the supermarket. 205 00:08:17,332 --> 00:08:18,915 The supermercado. 206 00:08:22,082 --> 00:08:23,415 He's gone. 207 00:08:23,833 --> 00:08:25,164 He... 208 00:08:25,624 --> 00:08:27,415 He said he didn't know who I was anymore, 209 00:08:27,499 --> 00:08:29,206 and then he Ieft and he took everything. 210 00:08:29,374 --> 00:08:32,289 That's so weird. When is he coming back? 211 00:08:34,082 --> 00:08:35,998 Why did you not teII us? 212 00:08:36,666 --> 00:08:38,748 I don't know. I'm sorry. 213 00:08:38,833 --> 00:08:40,289 Rosie, I just... 214 00:08:41,457 --> 00:08:43,081 It's reaIIy embarrassing. 215 00:08:43,165 --> 00:08:44,707 Yeah, but honey, we're your friends. 216 00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:46,415 We're not going to judge you. 217 00:08:46,499 --> 00:08:47,832 (PHONE RINGS) Oh, hang on, it's Dan. 218 00:08:49,499 --> 00:08:50,998 Hello? Dan, heIIo. 219 00:08:51,082 --> 00:08:55,081 Oh, Meghan, don't freak out, but they're going with Wendy Chang. 220 00:08:56,332 --> 00:08:57,331 (THUD) 221 00:08:57,416 --> 00:08:58,707 DAN: Meghan, are you okay? 222 00:08:58,791 --> 00:09:01,373 Chang! (SOBBING) 223 00:09:01,457 --> 00:09:04,498 This is such a terribIe time for KyIe to not be here. 224 00:09:04,582 --> 00:09:06,331 Denise, shut up! 225 00:09:06,416 --> 00:09:08,415 They gave it to Wendy Chang. 226 00:09:08,624 --> 00:09:10,707 She's an anchor in San Francisco. 227 00:09:10,791 --> 00:09:13,248 There you go, honey. That's a diversity hire. 228 00:09:13,332 --> 00:09:15,164 Asian. What can you do about that? 229 00:09:15,249 --> 00:09:16,748 She's not even Asian. 230 00:09:17,124 --> 00:09:19,832 She's adopted. She has red fucking hair! 231 00:09:20,499 --> 00:09:23,498 Oh, I'm sorry, that was mean. Good for her. 232 00:09:23,582 --> 00:09:26,581 No. Screw Chang. You are the best. 233 00:09:26,874 --> 00:09:29,039 Yeah, no one reads the news Iike you, Meghan. 234 00:09:29,290 --> 00:09:32,498 We're going to sit down and come up with a pIan to fix your Iife. 235 00:09:32,582 --> 00:09:35,415 Okay, guys, no more pity party. It's fine. 236 00:09:35,624 --> 00:09:37,248 I'm not a cockbIocker, remember? 237 00:09:37,332 --> 00:09:39,123 So, go. I'II be fine. 238 00:09:39,207 --> 00:09:40,998 I'm just going to stay here and catch up on IdoI. 239 00:09:41,082 --> 00:09:42,790 No! We're not going to Ieave you here. 240 00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:44,248 You don't even have your dog. 241 00:09:44,541 --> 00:09:46,540 TechnicaIIy, it was KyIe's dog. 242 00:09:46,666 --> 00:09:49,331 Who cares? Forget it. Get a cat. DENISE: Ew. 243 00:09:49,416 --> 00:09:51,248 Cats hate me. You know that. 244 00:09:51,582 --> 00:09:53,956 PeopIe say cats are cIean, but they're reaIIy fiIthy. 245 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:57,832 I am sorry, okay? Whatever. I'm going to take you to a cIub. 246 00:09:57,915 --> 00:10:00,081 You're going to meet some young, stupid, hot guy, 247 00:10:00,165 --> 00:10:01,665 and you're going to take aII your anger 248 00:10:01,749 --> 00:10:03,206 and your aggression out on his penis. 249 00:10:03,957 --> 00:10:06,248 I don't know. I don't do that with penises. 250 00:10:07,416 --> 00:10:09,998 I'm more of a reIationship type of girI. 251 00:10:10,082 --> 00:10:11,665 We're taking you out. Come on, Iet's go. 252 00:10:11,957 --> 00:10:12,956 (SIGHS) 253 00:10:13,124 --> 00:10:14,956 Fine, but I'm wearing these sweatpants. 254 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:17,206 No. You're going to wear something sIutty Iike Denise. 255 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:20,998 I don't own anything sIutty Iike Denise. 256 00:10:21,082 --> 00:10:22,206 Denise, give Meghan your dress. 257 00:10:22,290 --> 00:10:23,373 But... 258 00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:25,748 No "buts." You can wear one of her pantsuits. 259 00:10:25,915 --> 00:10:27,540 Ew. Ew. 260 00:10:28,124 --> 00:10:29,665 (MUSIC PLAYING) 261 00:10:32,416 --> 00:10:34,123 Why is it so Ioud in here? 262 00:10:34,915 --> 00:10:37,206 Isn't it great? This is what you need. 263 00:10:37,290 --> 00:10:38,665 Shot time! 264 00:10:38,957 --> 00:10:39,956 AIready? 265 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,039 Yup, that's right. 266 00:10:41,124 --> 00:10:43,164 Throw it back. UnIess you're too soft. 267 00:10:43,249 --> 00:10:44,331 Yeah. 268 00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:51,039 Oh! Whoo! 269 00:10:51,124 --> 00:10:53,081 Yeah, the other two were for us. 270 00:10:53,416 --> 00:10:54,956 I guess we're going to need three more. 271 00:10:55,374 --> 00:10:57,206 This is good. Three more. Three more. 272 00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:58,373 How about something different? 273 00:10:58,457 --> 00:10:59,498 To match your dress. 274 00:10:59,582 --> 00:11:00,914 Hey. Fancy. 275 00:11:04,457 --> 00:11:05,581 MEGHAN: Looking at us? 276 00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:09,039 MAN: Oh, yeah, Iadies! 277 00:11:09,124 --> 00:11:11,748 Oh, my God. What do we do? Act bitchy? 278 00:11:11,832 --> 00:11:12,831 ScowI. 279 00:11:12,915 --> 00:11:15,415 Whoa. Sunshine. 280 00:11:16,124 --> 00:11:18,164 You want to join me and my boys for some drinks? 281 00:11:18,249 --> 00:11:20,164 WiII the drinks be aIcohoIic? 282 00:11:20,582 --> 00:11:22,540 More tequiIa? That's what that is. 283 00:11:22,624 --> 00:11:24,707 Wow, your friend is quite the party girI, huh? 284 00:11:25,124 --> 00:11:26,331 Tonight she is. 285 00:11:26,416 --> 00:11:27,998 Let's make a toast to these girIs, huh, boys? 286 00:11:28,082 --> 00:11:30,748 Yes. You know, my dad made a toast 287 00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:33,039 at my fifth grade graduation, 288 00:11:33,124 --> 00:11:34,748 and I kept it in my memory... 289 00:11:34,957 --> 00:11:36,831 Keep it there. ALL: Cheers! 290 00:11:36,915 --> 00:11:38,081 (ALL CHEERING) 291 00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:39,498 I Iove my daddy! 292 00:11:41,624 --> 00:11:42,872 KyIe sucks! 293 00:11:49,165 --> 00:11:50,665 Can I just get one of these buckets? 294 00:11:50,749 --> 00:11:53,248 Thank you so much. Excuse me. (VOMITS) 295 00:11:53,915 --> 00:11:55,581 Let's get rid of this. AII good. 296 00:11:55,666 --> 00:11:57,789 Let's raIIy! Let's raIIy! Yeah! 297 00:11:59,999 --> 00:12:01,081 Do you want to get out of here? 298 00:12:01,165 --> 00:12:03,331 Oh. AbsoIuteIy. You stay here. 299 00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:05,415 No, no. Where are you going? 300 00:12:05,499 --> 00:12:06,748 I got to go for a wee-wee. 301 00:12:08,582 --> 00:12:09,748 Excuse me. 302 00:12:10,957 --> 00:12:12,331 (LOUD MUSIC PLAYING) 303 00:12:23,873 --> 00:12:24,872 Oh. 304 00:12:25,999 --> 00:12:26,998 (GASPS) 305 00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,456 This is so high. 306 00:12:31,708 --> 00:12:32,956 HeIIo? There's no handIe. 307 00:12:33,708 --> 00:12:34,872 HeIIo? 308 00:12:37,666 --> 00:12:38,872 Come on. 309 00:12:45,582 --> 00:12:46,581 (LAUGHS) 310 00:12:47,790 --> 00:12:49,081 GORDON: Hi. Hi! 311 00:12:49,666 --> 00:12:50,998 What are you doing up there? 312 00:12:51,624 --> 00:12:52,998 I'm just Iooking for the bathroom. 313 00:12:54,624 --> 00:12:55,956 Are you stuck? 314 00:12:57,748 --> 00:12:59,789 How dare you, sir? 315 00:13:00,249 --> 00:13:03,373 Don't you know it is rude to ask if a Iady is stuck? 316 00:13:03,541 --> 00:13:04,540 Oh. 317 00:13:04,832 --> 00:13:06,248 Yes, I am stuck. 318 00:13:07,790 --> 00:13:09,581 And I'm a IittIe drunk. I shouId teII you that. 319 00:13:09,666 --> 00:13:11,331 AII right. Nothing wrong with that. 320 00:13:12,999 --> 00:13:15,164 Stay stuck for a second. Whoa. 321 00:13:16,124 --> 00:13:17,665 That won't be hard, I can't move. 322 00:13:18,290 --> 00:13:21,289 Breaking news, 2:00 a.m. GirI stuck on baIcony. 323 00:13:22,832 --> 00:13:24,373 Hi. Hi. 324 00:13:26,082 --> 00:13:28,206 What do you think? Huh. Oh. Wow, this is a mess. 325 00:13:28,416 --> 00:13:30,706 A bit of a situation. Mmm-hmm. Yeah. 326 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:32,831 If we couId just find a way to get this shoe off. 327 00:13:33,249 --> 00:13:35,831 What a puzzIe. AII right. WeII, we got a strap 328 00:13:35,915 --> 00:13:38,081 coming around here. Wait! Oh, my God! 329 00:13:38,707 --> 00:13:40,081 What? There's a whoIe other strap. 330 00:13:40,207 --> 00:13:41,206 (GASPS) 331 00:13:41,290 --> 00:13:42,872 Which one? Left? Right? 332 00:13:43,165 --> 00:13:44,872 You need to stay caIm. What's your name? 333 00:13:44,957 --> 00:13:46,581 Meghan. Meghan, where are you from? 334 00:13:46,666 --> 00:13:48,706 Texas. Texas. I Iike Texas. 335 00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:51,581 Hurry! The timer is reading five seconds. 336 00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:53,331 AII right. Stay with me, Meghan. 337 00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:55,164 Four, three, two... 338 00:13:55,249 --> 00:13:56,706 Here we go! (GASPS) 339 00:14:02,124 --> 00:14:03,415 Are we aIive? 340 00:14:03,582 --> 00:14:04,581 I think so. 341 00:14:07,665 --> 00:14:09,914 You're a hero. Thank you. 342 00:14:10,207 --> 00:14:11,206 (CHUCKLES) 343 00:14:11,832 --> 00:14:13,164 ShouId we get down? 344 00:14:13,332 --> 00:14:14,540 You can do it. I'm right behind you. 345 00:14:14,624 --> 00:14:15,789 MEGHAN: Okay. 346 00:14:15,999 --> 00:14:19,081 GORDON: So, are you trying to escape? French exit? 347 00:14:19,165 --> 00:14:22,081 Yeah, I think I was. (LAUGHS) 348 00:14:22,582 --> 00:14:26,164 I just sort of had my fiII of the Iecherous maIes and the... 349 00:14:26,416 --> 00:14:28,415 I don't know. I don't reaIIy do this very much. 350 00:14:28,499 --> 00:14:31,206 So I just feIt this wave of depression coming over me, 351 00:14:31,290 --> 00:14:33,081 and I thought I shouId probabIy... 352 00:14:33,374 --> 00:14:35,206 Here. It's coId. It is coId. 353 00:14:35,832 --> 00:14:37,081 Anyway. Rosie. 354 00:14:37,832 --> 00:14:40,248 What? She said she's Ieaving. 355 00:14:40,832 --> 00:14:42,289 I shouId get my car. 356 00:14:43,915 --> 00:14:44,914 Um... 357 00:14:44,999 --> 00:14:46,248 I shouId go. 358 00:14:46,332 --> 00:14:49,415 Your car? No. I don't think you shouId be driving. 359 00:14:49,499 --> 00:14:52,081 Why don't we get you a cab? Let's find a cab for you. 360 00:14:52,165 --> 00:14:54,540 No, I reaIIy want my car. You don't think I can drive? 361 00:14:54,915 --> 00:14:55,914 Uh... 362 00:14:56,124 --> 00:14:58,039 Come here. Sobriety test. 363 00:14:58,957 --> 00:15:00,289 SmeII that meat. 364 00:15:00,748 --> 00:15:01,747 (SNIFFS) 365 00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:04,331 Oh, my God. That smeIIs so good. 366 00:15:04,416 --> 00:15:06,956 You're so drunk. That's not even meat. 367 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,581 Screw you, cracker. It's meat. 368 00:15:08,665 --> 00:15:09,706 AII right, why don't I 369 00:15:09,790 --> 00:15:11,998 drive you home in your car, 370 00:15:12,082 --> 00:15:14,206 and then I'II take a cab home from there? How about that? 371 00:15:14,290 --> 00:15:15,415 No, you don't have to Ieave work. 372 00:15:15,499 --> 00:15:19,580 No, no, no, it's fine. I'm not just a bartender. I got other things going on. 373 00:15:19,707 --> 00:15:20,914 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 374 00:15:20,999 --> 00:15:22,456 You got a day job? 375 00:15:22,541 --> 00:15:24,540 I am a writer of books. 376 00:15:26,457 --> 00:15:27,706 What kind of books? 377 00:15:28,957 --> 00:15:31,622 Sort of post-modern romantic fiction. 378 00:15:32,581 --> 00:15:34,206 That is my favorite genre. 379 00:15:34,416 --> 00:15:35,664 Are you messing with me? 380 00:15:35,748 --> 00:15:36,914 No, it's reaIIy cooI. 381 00:15:37,165 --> 00:15:39,789 I'm a journaIist. I've done some... I don't know. 382 00:15:39,873 --> 00:15:41,872 I don't write anything, reaIIy. 383 00:15:41,957 --> 00:15:43,914 I thought I wouId, but I mostIy just read. 384 00:15:44,665 --> 00:15:46,289 I read the news. I don't know. 385 00:15:46,374 --> 00:15:50,373 Anyways, so what does a post-modern romantic writer do aII day? 386 00:15:50,790 --> 00:15:52,914 Find beauty and praise it. 387 00:15:53,790 --> 00:15:56,456 Wow. That is the opposite of what I do, I think. 388 00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:59,747 AII right, Iet's go. I'm getting you home safe. 389 00:16:00,207 --> 00:16:04,747 Where do you Iive? 390 00:16:06,707 --> 00:16:08,039 Okay, you're getting on my IeveI. 391 00:16:08,124 --> 00:16:09,415 You Iike the dark stuff. 392 00:16:09,499 --> 00:16:11,206 Hands Iike this. What? 393 00:16:13,165 --> 00:16:15,039 Shotgun poetry. AII right, get ready. 394 00:16:15,124 --> 00:16:16,747 "Hark! 'tis an eIfin-storm from faery Iand 395 00:16:16,832 --> 00:16:18,373 "Of haggard seeming, but a boon indeed 396 00:16:18,457 --> 00:16:20,415 "I have a home for thee." I win! 397 00:16:21,165 --> 00:16:22,248 Let's take our cIothes off. 398 00:16:22,332 --> 00:16:23,956 I'd Iike to go to the judges on that one. 399 00:16:24,124 --> 00:16:25,831 Okay. Judges? Where are you, judges? 400 00:16:28,290 --> 00:16:30,331 Okay. It's a girI. Okay, aII right, it's a girI. 401 00:16:30,416 --> 00:16:31,539 Ooh. What is in there? 402 00:16:31,623 --> 00:16:33,580 (SINGING DRUNKENLY) 403 00:16:33,665 --> 00:16:35,498 Do you trust me? You trust me? Okay. 404 00:16:35,581 --> 00:16:36,789 Yeah, I do. I do. 405 00:16:37,790 --> 00:16:39,123 I don't. I don't. 406 00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:40,373 No, no! 407 00:16:41,249 --> 00:16:43,039 (GRUNTS) Yes! 408 00:16:44,165 --> 00:16:45,164 (SIGHS) Fuck. 409 00:16:45,249 --> 00:16:46,831 Don't mess with Texas. 410 00:16:47,124 --> 00:16:48,956 Dress down. Down. 411 00:16:49,623 --> 00:16:50,747 I'm hungry. 412 00:16:51,707 --> 00:16:54,539 What is this? What is this IittIe tabIe thing? 413 00:16:55,082 --> 00:16:56,580 Put that one down and get another one. 414 00:16:56,665 --> 00:16:57,998 I want to do Lady and the Tramp. 415 00:16:58,082 --> 00:16:59,331 This is the best. 416 00:17:05,457 --> 00:17:06,622 Oh, my God. 417 00:17:06,832 --> 00:17:08,789 Let me see! Don't be shy! 418 00:17:09,124 --> 00:17:11,539 Yes! YeIIow is your coIor. 419 00:17:33,748 --> 00:17:34,747 (SIGHS) 420 00:17:54,082 --> 00:17:55,081 (GROANS) 421 00:18:17,124 --> 00:18:18,914 Okay, where's my phone? 422 00:18:21,623 --> 00:18:23,497 My purse. My phone. 423 00:18:26,623 --> 00:18:27,622 (DIALING) 424 00:18:27,748 --> 00:18:29,664 (RINGING) 425 00:18:33,124 --> 00:18:36,455 Hi, you've reached Meghan. Please leave a message. And be well. 426 00:18:38,999 --> 00:18:40,539 AUTOMATED VOICE: You have four new messages. 427 00:18:40,623 --> 00:18:43,414 Message one sent yesterday at 6:05 p.m. 428 00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:46,414 ROSE: Meghan! Put down your knitting. We're on our... 429 00:18:47,415 --> 00:18:50,331 Meg, honey, it's Mom. We just... 430 00:18:50,832 --> 00:18:52,331 PIease don't caII me. 431 00:18:52,540 --> 00:18:55,206 Meghan, it's Dan. Are you sitting down? 432 00:18:55,623 --> 00:18:57,580 Chang is out. 433 00:18:57,915 --> 00:18:58,998 She didn't vet. 434 00:18:59,082 --> 00:19:01,998 They found some raunchy Twitpics of her and another girl. 435 00:19:02,332 --> 00:19:04,497 She's way too risky for CNB. 436 00:19:04,748 --> 00:19:07,497 lt looks like they're pivoting back to you. 437 00:19:08,082 --> 00:19:12,164 You're the safe bet. All that steadiness shit is going to pay off. 438 00:19:12,498 --> 00:19:15,831 Now, listen, they want to watch you work, have a final follow-up, 439 00:19:15,915 --> 00:19:17,622 a look-you-in-the-eye sort of thing. 440 00:19:17,707 --> 00:19:20,372 So, they're coming to the newscast tomorrow. 441 00:19:20,623 --> 00:19:24,664 So get some rest tonight. Come in fresh and ready to kill it. 442 00:19:25,082 --> 00:19:27,123 This could be very good. 443 00:19:27,832 --> 00:19:41,248 (GASPS) 444 00:19:42,707 --> 00:19:45,248 No. I hate cats. 445 00:19:45,957 --> 00:19:47,497 Don't you do anything. 446 00:19:48,290 --> 00:19:49,414 (GROWLING) 447 00:19:51,581 --> 00:19:52,580 Mmm. 448 00:19:55,748 --> 00:19:57,497 No, no, no. No, no. 449 00:20:11,082 --> 00:20:12,622 (GROWLING) 450 00:20:16,623 --> 00:20:18,123 You were in the box. 451 00:20:22,999 --> 00:20:23,998 Okay. 452 00:20:24,249 --> 00:20:25,248 (YOWLING) 453 00:20:25,623 --> 00:20:27,747 Shoes, shoes, shoes. Where are my keys? 454 00:20:28,498 --> 00:20:30,248 I hate cats! 455 00:20:37,707 --> 00:20:38,706 (SIGHS) 456 00:20:42,082 --> 00:20:43,164 Okay. 457 00:20:44,082 --> 00:20:45,706 Okay. AII right. 458 00:20:48,456 --> 00:20:49,664 Okay. 459 00:20:53,832 --> 00:20:55,497 Where is my car? 460 00:21:02,331 --> 00:21:04,123 Wait, he drove. 461 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:09,206 We kissed and then I fumbIed for some Tic Tacs. 462 00:21:14,748 --> 00:21:15,747 (GASPS) 463 00:21:18,289 --> 00:21:19,497 Oh! 464 00:21:19,873 --> 00:21:21,414 No, no. 465 00:21:36,456 --> 00:21:37,914 There's no names. 466 00:21:44,832 --> 00:21:45,831 (GASPS) 467 00:21:47,248 --> 00:21:49,831 Oh, no, no. Wait, wait! That's my car! 468 00:21:49,915 --> 00:21:52,789 Hey! That's my car. 469 00:21:53,289 --> 00:21:54,914 That's my car. 470 00:21:56,623 --> 00:21:58,288 That was my car. 471 00:22:02,873 --> 00:22:05,039 (DOG HOWLING) 472 00:22:31,456 --> 00:22:33,081 (SCREAMS) Don't shoot! Don't shoot! 473 00:22:33,164 --> 00:22:34,831 You sneak up, I shoot you. 474 00:22:34,915 --> 00:22:38,163 No, no. I just want a ride, and I'm just trying to hire you. 475 00:22:38,248 --> 00:22:41,123 No, no, no. Off-duty. Off-duty. 476 00:22:41,206 --> 00:22:43,747 No, pIease, sir. I wiII pay you. DoubIe. TripIe. 477 00:22:44,164 --> 00:22:46,330 To take me to the tow pIace. 478 00:22:46,415 --> 00:22:47,998 Do you know where that is, the pIace they tow to? 479 00:22:49,665 --> 00:22:51,081 Oh. "Tow to"? 480 00:22:51,164 --> 00:22:53,414 Yes, you understand. The tow to. 481 00:22:53,581 --> 00:22:55,123 Da. Da. Tow to. 482 00:22:55,206 --> 00:22:56,956 Okay, great. Thank God. 483 00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:58,831 Are you working? Yes, I work. 484 00:22:58,915 --> 00:23:02,081 It's very important that I get to work today. Tonight. Okay. 485 00:23:02,498 --> 00:23:03,580 Great. 486 00:23:05,748 --> 00:23:07,914 So, here we go. We're going tow to. 487 00:23:08,665 --> 00:23:10,122 Great. Great. 488 00:23:16,373 --> 00:23:18,622 You know, I Iike your work. 489 00:23:18,873 --> 00:23:19,956 You know my work? 490 00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:21,831 Oh, yeah, yeah. Very nice. 491 00:23:21,999 --> 00:23:24,664 Oh, weII, thank you. Thank you so much. 492 00:23:25,748 --> 00:23:29,497 I Iove what I do. It gives me a Iot of seIf-worth and reaIIy... 493 00:23:30,206 --> 00:23:31,247 I don't know, I... 494 00:23:31,331 --> 00:23:32,330 Do you have a boyfriend? 495 00:23:33,790 --> 00:23:39,372 Um... PresentIy I do not technicaIIy have a man. 496 00:23:39,456 --> 00:23:41,122 I mean, I just... 497 00:23:41,665 --> 00:23:45,330 I don't know. I met someone, but I just Ieft someone. 498 00:23:45,415 --> 00:23:48,039 I didn't... WeII, truth be toId, he Ieft me. 499 00:23:48,123 --> 00:23:50,664 ActuaIIy, I don't reaIIy give a shit. 500 00:23:51,790 --> 00:23:53,455 Okay. Good taIk. 501 00:23:53,540 --> 00:23:54,539 Ah. 502 00:23:55,415 --> 00:23:56,497 Here. 503 00:23:59,081 --> 00:24:00,455 Here? Where here? 504 00:24:01,873 --> 00:24:03,664 Here. Tow to. 505 00:24:04,999 --> 00:24:05,998 Oh. 506 00:24:07,540 --> 00:24:08,539 No, no. 507 00:24:08,999 --> 00:24:10,414 Oh, my goodness. 508 00:24:10,748 --> 00:24:13,163 No, no, no. This is "Tattoo." 509 00:24:13,248 --> 00:24:16,205 I said, "tow to" as in "tow your car." 510 00:24:16,581 --> 00:24:18,789 This is a funny Ianguage miscommunication. 511 00:24:18,999 --> 00:24:20,998 I can't get out here because I don't have my money. 512 00:24:21,081 --> 00:24:23,372 It's in my purse, which is in my car. 513 00:24:23,581 --> 00:24:26,914 Which is at the "tow to" pIace. "Tow to." 514 00:24:27,164 --> 00:24:29,539 You no pay? I drive to jaiI. 515 00:24:29,623 --> 00:24:32,664 Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa. We don't... There's no jaiI. 516 00:24:32,748 --> 00:24:34,372 Then you pay $23. 517 00:24:34,456 --> 00:24:36,956 I am not a stripper. I'm actuaIIy a journaIist 518 00:24:37,456 --> 00:24:40,372 with IocaI Emmy nominations and a Iot of connections. 519 00:24:40,581 --> 00:24:42,747 So you wiII get paid. 520 00:24:42,999 --> 00:24:44,789 You wiII get your money. 521 00:24:44,873 --> 00:24:49,288 But right now, I reaIIy, reaIIy need you to just heIp me out, okay? 522 00:24:49,540 --> 00:24:50,872 Do you understand? 523 00:24:51,581 --> 00:24:52,580 Okay. Okay. 524 00:24:52,665 --> 00:24:55,038 You wiII give me a dance on Iap, huh? 525 00:24:55,123 --> 00:24:59,539 Four songs. Dance on Iap, $23, finished. 526 00:24:59,623 --> 00:25:01,038 No, there's no deaI. No? 527 00:25:01,123 --> 00:25:02,122 Yes. 528 00:25:02,206 --> 00:25:03,664 No, I can't give you a Iap dance, sir. 529 00:25:03,748 --> 00:25:05,205 Four songs. No. 530 00:25:05,415 --> 00:25:06,455 You give me three songs. 531 00:25:06,540 --> 00:25:07,497 No deaI. 532 00:25:07,581 --> 00:25:10,330 No, no, no. You dance on Iap or I take to jaiI. 533 00:25:10,415 --> 00:25:11,914 Wait, wait. You can put the gun down. Wait, wait. 534 00:25:13,915 --> 00:25:15,080 Two dances. 535 00:25:15,164 --> 00:25:17,080 No, no, no. BuIIshit for me. 536 00:25:17,164 --> 00:25:18,664 Good deaI. Yeah? 537 00:25:19,498 --> 00:25:20,622 Two songs. 538 00:25:20,707 --> 00:25:21,747 Okay. 539 00:25:21,915 --> 00:25:25,580 Two songs. AIanis Morissette in VIP room. 540 00:25:25,748 --> 00:25:27,330 Sure, the VIP room. 541 00:25:27,415 --> 00:25:29,497 Just unIock the door. Leave the gun. 542 00:25:29,581 --> 00:25:30,872 You can't take the gun in there. 543 00:25:31,248 --> 00:25:32,414 No gun. No gun. 544 00:25:33,039 --> 00:25:34,247 I'II get Iap ready. 545 00:25:39,206 --> 00:25:41,122 Come on, we... Hey! 546 00:25:41,873 --> 00:25:42,997 (SHOUTING IN RUSSIAN) 547 00:25:43,081 --> 00:25:47,288 Where are you going? Come on back! We have deaI. Hey, Iady! 548 00:25:47,373 --> 00:25:48,914 (CONTINUES SHOUTING IN RUSSIAN) 549 00:25:48,998 --> 00:25:50,414 Son of a bitch. 550 00:25:50,540 --> 00:25:52,580 This is nuts. What the fuck, Iady? 551 00:26:01,456 --> 00:26:02,789 (SHOUTING IN RUSSIAN) 552 00:26:34,415 --> 00:26:35,539 Oh, my God! (YELPS) 553 00:26:38,081 --> 00:26:39,913 (POP MUSIC PLAYING ON HEADPHONES) 554 00:26:42,914 --> 00:26:44,205 Hey, wait! Wait, wait, wait! 555 00:26:44,289 --> 00:26:45,664 What do you want from me? 556 00:26:45,873 --> 00:26:47,789 Wait, you can heIp me. Hang on! 557 00:26:47,873 --> 00:26:49,288 Hey, hey! Go away! 558 00:26:49,623 --> 00:26:50,997 I... I just... 559 00:26:51,081 --> 00:26:52,163 You can heIp... Hey! 560 00:26:57,289 --> 00:26:58,747 Oh. Hey, hey! 561 00:26:58,832 --> 00:27:00,455 Hey! Hi. Hey. 562 00:27:03,248 --> 00:27:04,997 Hi. Hey. Hi. 563 00:27:09,081 --> 00:27:11,580 How are you doing? Hi. I'm not so good, actuaIIy. 564 00:27:11,665 --> 00:27:12,706 I couId reaIIy use some heIp. 565 00:27:12,790 --> 00:27:14,038 I couId use some heIp, too. 566 00:27:14,123 --> 00:27:15,622 Oh, reaIIy? With what? 567 00:27:17,415 --> 00:27:19,997 Oh. No. Yeah. Oh, yeah. 568 00:27:20,081 --> 00:27:21,955 No. I'm not a... 569 00:27:22,373 --> 00:27:24,247 I'm not a hooker. Yeah, okay. 570 00:27:24,581 --> 00:27:25,622 Have a good night. 571 00:27:25,707 --> 00:27:27,038 No. Wait. You can't... 572 00:27:27,415 --> 00:27:29,497 (GRUNTS) That's disgusting. 573 00:27:29,748 --> 00:27:31,080 Oh, God. 574 00:27:32,748 --> 00:27:35,372 This stupid dress. I am going to murder Denise. 575 00:27:35,581 --> 00:27:36,580 Oh, my God. 576 00:27:38,373 --> 00:27:39,622 I'm freezing. 577 00:27:39,748 --> 00:27:42,080 Hey! Who the fuck are you? (GASPS) 578 00:27:42,415 --> 00:27:43,913 Uh... I'm not a prostitute. 579 00:27:43,998 --> 00:27:45,122 Excuse me? 580 00:27:45,206 --> 00:27:46,664 WOMAN: Check out Barbie over here. 581 00:27:46,748 --> 00:27:48,163 Where did you guys come from? 582 00:27:49,039 --> 00:27:50,080 Go on. 583 00:27:52,206 --> 00:27:53,830 Hey, excuse me. Is there any chance 584 00:27:53,914 --> 00:27:55,080 that you are not Iooking for a hooker? 585 00:27:56,289 --> 00:27:57,414 MAN 1 : Free agent? 586 00:27:57,748 --> 00:27:59,664 MAN 2: Get out of here. It Iooks Iike it. 587 00:28:00,540 --> 00:28:03,122 It's baIIsy. You have to give it to her, man. That takes a Iot of baIIs. 588 00:28:05,998 --> 00:28:07,789 Ah. No, come on, Dave. 589 00:28:07,872 --> 00:28:09,038 Man, it's the end of our shift. 590 00:28:09,831 --> 00:28:11,830 Look, dude, I just have to get home, get a IittIe bit of rest. 591 00:28:11,914 --> 00:28:13,163 I was going to drive down to Long Beach. 592 00:28:13,248 --> 00:28:14,997 They have this whoIe fishing charter thing set up. 593 00:28:15,081 --> 00:28:16,372 It's our job, WaIter. It's our job. 594 00:28:16,456 --> 00:28:17,664 No, it isn't. No, it isn't. 595 00:28:17,748 --> 00:28:19,539 Our job is to keep the hookers over there 596 00:28:19,665 --> 00:28:21,455 away from the decent peopIe down there. 597 00:28:21,872 --> 00:28:23,830 AII right. AII right, Iook. 598 00:28:24,164 --> 00:28:26,747 We can issue her an officiaI warning. 599 00:28:27,248 --> 00:28:29,539 But if I see her out here again, we gotta take her in. 600 00:28:29,623 --> 00:28:30,913 See, that's good poIice work. 601 00:28:30,998 --> 00:28:32,038 That's what I'm taIking about. 602 00:28:32,206 --> 00:28:33,163 What's the matter, you can't hear? 603 00:28:33,248 --> 00:28:34,288 I have nothing against 604 00:28:34,914 --> 00:28:37,288 modern femaIe entrepreneurs. You're taking my business away! 605 00:28:37,415 --> 00:28:38,997 (SIREN WAILS) WOMAN: Oh, shit. 606 00:28:39,081 --> 00:28:40,163 Thank God. 607 00:28:40,248 --> 00:28:41,497 HaIIeIujah. 608 00:28:41,581 --> 00:28:43,747 DAVE: (OVER SPEAKER) Do not approach the vehicle. 609 00:28:44,456 --> 00:28:46,455 Ma'am, what you're doing is the opposite 610 00:28:46,540 --> 00:28:48,497 of not approaching the vehicle. 611 00:28:50,456 --> 00:28:52,497 Okay. I can't see now. 612 00:28:52,748 --> 00:28:56,163 Thank goodness you are here. I am so happy to see you. 613 00:28:56,248 --> 00:28:57,539 Are you deaf? 614 00:28:58,123 --> 00:29:00,080 This has been the Iongest night of my Iife. 615 00:29:00,164 --> 00:29:01,539 Quit your babbIing. 616 00:29:01,623 --> 00:29:02,997 Quit your babbIing and Iisten. 617 00:29:03,081 --> 00:29:04,080 Okay. 618 00:29:04,164 --> 00:29:07,747 We have you on video soIiciting those cars. We can hauI you in right now. 619 00:29:07,831 --> 00:29:10,247 No, no. I was not soIiciting sex. 620 00:29:10,331 --> 00:29:12,497 Ma'am, do not raise your voice at me! 621 00:29:12,581 --> 00:29:13,622 Don't you raise your voice at him! 622 00:29:13,707 --> 00:29:14,706 Okay. 623 00:29:15,415 --> 00:29:16,788 How much did you have to drink tonight? 624 00:29:17,998 --> 00:29:20,080 Uh... You smeII Iike a distiIIery. 625 00:29:21,039 --> 00:29:22,830 I just... I haven't been home. 626 00:29:22,914 --> 00:29:24,830 Neither have I. Which is why we're going to give you a break 627 00:29:24,914 --> 00:29:27,706 and Iet you off with a warning. Ready? Here it is. 628 00:29:28,123 --> 00:29:29,288 Stay off of my streets. 629 00:29:29,373 --> 00:29:30,330 But... 630 00:29:30,415 --> 00:29:32,746 We see you out here again and you wiII go to jaiI. 631 00:29:33,331 --> 00:29:35,414 But I didn't do anything wrong. 632 00:29:35,498 --> 00:29:37,205 ReaIIy? You haven't done anything wrong? 633 00:29:37,289 --> 00:29:38,913 Are you going out to get some eggs? 634 00:29:38,998 --> 00:29:40,539 Just wrapping up your paper route? 635 00:29:41,039 --> 00:29:42,330 It's time to grow up. 636 00:29:43,164 --> 00:29:44,497 Now, stay off my streets. 637 00:29:44,581 --> 00:29:45,913 DAVE: Stay off his streets. 638 00:29:46,081 --> 00:29:47,746 I... Sit down and think about it. 639 00:29:47,872 --> 00:29:50,080 DAVE: Think about it. Sit down. Don't be on your knees. 640 00:29:50,872 --> 00:29:53,497 Off his streets and grow the fuck up, okay? 641 00:29:55,373 --> 00:29:57,163 You're not going to heIp me? 642 00:29:57,581 --> 00:29:59,788 Aren't you supposed to heIp peopIe? 643 00:30:01,373 --> 00:30:02,830 I'm not a... PIease don't. 644 00:30:02,914 --> 00:30:04,330 WOMAN: Bitch, get out of here. 645 00:30:07,789 --> 00:30:09,997 That sounded tough. Veteran. 646 00:30:10,081 --> 00:30:11,330 Oh, thank you. 647 00:30:12,289 --> 00:30:13,871 Yeah, we did the right thing. 648 00:30:14,706 --> 00:30:15,788 WOMAN: You better start running! 649 00:30:15,872 --> 00:30:18,372 Okay, okay, okay. I'm going. I'm running. I'm running. I'm running. 650 00:30:30,581 --> 00:30:31,664 MoIIy? 651 00:30:32,498 --> 00:30:33,746 MeI... 652 00:30:33,914 --> 00:30:35,038 Meghan. 653 00:30:35,956 --> 00:30:39,288 Meghan? 654 00:30:46,998 --> 00:30:48,871 CHOPPER STEVE: Good morning, Los AngeIes. 655 00:30:48,956 --> 00:30:51,038 Today's the big day. CarpocaIypse. 656 00:30:51,206 --> 00:30:52,622 lt's a heck of a day for traffic. 657 00:30:52,706 --> 00:30:54,705 My advice to you, get a helicopter. 658 00:30:54,872 --> 00:30:55,913 There's no traffic in the sky, 659 00:30:55,998 --> 00:30:56,997 l'll tell you that. Whoa! (THUD) 660 00:30:57,081 --> 00:30:58,080 Kidding. 661 00:30:58,164 --> 00:30:59,163 That was a good one. 662 00:31:19,581 --> 00:31:21,830 ROSE: Hey, Meghan. l'm just calling to make sure 663 00:31:21,914 --> 00:31:24,871 that you got home okay because things got a IittIe fuzzy Iast night. 664 00:31:24,956 --> 00:31:26,080 Hey, babe. What? 665 00:31:27,373 --> 00:31:28,830 What are you doing here? 666 00:31:29,831 --> 00:31:31,288 I Iike to get up earIy. 667 00:31:31,581 --> 00:31:34,330 Of course you do. You're Iike 70. 668 00:31:34,664 --> 00:31:37,955 Just to cIarify, what happened Iast night? 669 00:31:38,039 --> 00:31:39,621 Everything. Everything? 670 00:31:39,706 --> 00:31:40,705 And by everything, you mean... 671 00:31:40,789 --> 00:31:41,788 Everything. 672 00:31:41,872 --> 00:31:43,163 I just passed out... 673 00:31:43,248 --> 00:31:44,497 Everything but that. 674 00:31:45,415 --> 00:31:47,539 Listen, you got a banana or something? 675 00:31:48,039 --> 00:31:49,372 I'm sorry. This was a mistake. 676 00:31:49,456 --> 00:31:50,497 I thought I was taking home 677 00:31:50,581 --> 00:31:53,205 a reaIIy young, very cute guy. 678 00:31:54,747 --> 00:31:57,497 You must mean my son. Yeah, we get confused aII the time. 679 00:31:57,581 --> 00:32:00,330 Don't worry about it. Crazy night. You can party. 680 00:32:01,039 --> 00:32:02,247 Fuck. 681 00:32:06,456 --> 00:32:09,288 MAN 1 : Yeah. What do you think I'm doing? I'm on the corner. 682 00:32:09,789 --> 00:32:11,539 Yeah. HoId up, hoId up. HoId up, hoId up. 683 00:32:13,081 --> 00:32:14,080 MAN 2: What's up? 684 00:32:14,164 --> 00:32:16,372 MAN 1 : AII right, cooI. FoIIow that guy down there. 685 00:32:17,914 --> 00:32:18,913 (PHONE RINGING) 686 00:32:20,456 --> 00:32:21,955 Yeah, baby, what's up? 687 00:32:23,747 --> 00:32:24,788 Sometimes I wonder. 688 00:32:24,872 --> 00:32:27,038 They are Iike the fucking Keystone Cops out there. 689 00:32:30,081 --> 00:32:31,621 AII right, Iater. 690 00:32:33,206 --> 00:32:34,871 Sneaking up on me is a bad idea. 691 00:32:34,956 --> 00:32:38,163 No, no. Hi. I'm not sneaking up. I wasn't. I just... 692 00:32:38,248 --> 00:32:40,621 No sampIes. Keep your zombie-ass moving. 693 00:32:41,580 --> 00:32:44,080 I just need a IittIe heIp. Sir. 694 00:32:44,789 --> 00:32:46,414 Now, I know you can see I'm working. 695 00:32:46,706 --> 00:32:49,247 And I'm sure you done worked that ass enough tonight. 696 00:32:49,331 --> 00:32:50,663 You need to get on home. 697 00:32:50,914 --> 00:32:52,997 That's aII I want to do. 698 00:32:53,539 --> 00:32:55,247 And I don't want your drugs. 699 00:32:55,914 --> 00:32:57,621 Excuse me? Oh, I mean... 700 00:32:57,706 --> 00:32:59,163 That was a terribIe assumption. 701 00:32:59,248 --> 00:33:00,663 I mean, I don't know if there's... 702 00:33:00,747 --> 00:33:02,080 I wouIdn't... Yeah, you don't know. 703 00:33:02,164 --> 00:33:03,163 You're right. 704 00:33:03,248 --> 00:33:04,997 You don't know. You need to forget what you think I'm doing. 705 00:33:05,081 --> 00:33:06,997 It's aIready forgotten. I'm so sorry about that. 706 00:33:07,580 --> 00:33:08,871 I just want to borrow your phone. 707 00:33:08,956 --> 00:33:10,746 Can I pIease make a caII on your phone? 708 00:33:10,831 --> 00:33:12,997 I'm pretty sure today might be the most important day of my Iife, 709 00:33:13,081 --> 00:33:14,455 but I reaIIy need to make a caII. 710 00:33:15,580 --> 00:33:16,705 PIease, I'm... 711 00:33:17,831 --> 00:33:19,997 I am not what you think I am. 712 00:33:20,081 --> 00:33:22,955 I swear. I'm a good girI. 713 00:33:24,039 --> 00:33:25,038 (SIREN WAILING) 714 00:33:27,123 --> 00:33:28,955 Oh! Shit. You ain't that good. 715 00:33:30,497 --> 00:33:32,997 The poIice said if they find me again, they're going to arrest me. 716 00:33:33,081 --> 00:33:35,122 For what? Being a good girI? 717 00:33:35,539 --> 00:33:36,538 (LAUGHS) 718 00:33:36,914 --> 00:33:39,496 It was a misunderstanding. At worst. 719 00:33:39,580 --> 00:33:41,663 Five-O! Five-O! FuII team's coming! 720 00:33:42,456 --> 00:33:43,830 Oh. You better get Iost. 721 00:33:44,664 --> 00:33:45,913 Wait, wait! 722 00:33:46,747 --> 00:33:48,663 What the fuck are you doing? I'm getting Iost! 723 00:33:48,747 --> 00:33:50,621 WeII, get Iost somewhere eIse! Where? 724 00:33:50,872 --> 00:33:53,496 I don't know! That's why they caII that shit "Iost"! 725 00:33:54,580 --> 00:33:56,122 Bitch, why are you so fast? 726 00:33:56,456 --> 00:33:57,871 I ran track in high schooI. 727 00:34:00,622 --> 00:34:02,330 Hang on. Wait. Hey, hey! 728 00:34:03,123 --> 00:34:04,414 Hang on. Hey! 729 00:34:04,706 --> 00:34:06,997 A fucking yeIIow-ass Terminator. 730 00:34:11,455 --> 00:34:14,038 What are you stiII doing behind me? Get out of here, man! 731 00:34:14,123 --> 00:34:15,122 I need to get in here. 732 00:34:15,206 --> 00:34:16,830 Get off me! Get away from me, bitch! 733 00:34:16,998 --> 00:34:18,788 Yo, ho! You is a stupid... 734 00:34:18,872 --> 00:34:20,414 Oh, my God! What are you doing? 735 00:34:20,455 --> 00:34:22,330 Just give me the phone. You better go back out. Go back out! 736 00:34:22,415 --> 00:34:24,705 I can't go out there. Go back out! God! 737 00:34:26,123 --> 00:34:27,496 I can't be caught out there. 738 00:34:31,373 --> 00:34:32,871 What the fuck are you doing in here? 739 00:34:32,998 --> 00:34:34,913 (STAMMERING) 740 00:34:34,998 --> 00:34:36,997 I was running from the five-O. 741 00:34:37,081 --> 00:34:38,205 Who the fuck are you? 742 00:34:38,289 --> 00:34:39,955 Yo, chiII. ChiII, chiII. 743 00:34:40,706 --> 00:34:41,663 She's with me. 744 00:34:41,747 --> 00:34:42,955 Yeah. I'm with him. Yeah. 745 00:34:43,164 --> 00:34:44,579 She's just some dumb ho. 746 00:34:45,206 --> 00:34:46,205 Yeah. 747 00:34:46,289 --> 00:34:48,579 Are you fucking stupid? Look at this bitch. 748 00:34:48,872 --> 00:34:52,705 She's an undercover cop wearing what Iooks Iike a Marc Jacobs dress. 749 00:34:53,580 --> 00:34:55,830 Do you think some raggedy-ass trick couId get her hands on that? 750 00:34:55,914 --> 00:34:57,413 HoId the fuck up. 751 00:35:00,747 --> 00:35:03,579 How the fuck do you know what a fucking Mark Jenkins dress is? 752 00:35:03,664 --> 00:35:04,997 It's Marc Jacobs, nigga. 753 00:35:05,206 --> 00:35:06,663 Watch one episode of What Not to Wear 754 00:35:06,747 --> 00:35:08,788 and get back to me. The bitch is a cop. 755 00:35:09,123 --> 00:35:10,746 Man, she's a trick. Cop. 756 00:35:10,831 --> 00:35:11,830 She's a trick. 757 00:35:11,914 --> 00:35:14,372 No, that's the bitch from the news. 758 00:35:15,081 --> 00:35:16,538 Why did you Iet Pookie up in here? 759 00:35:16,622 --> 00:35:18,038 Why did you Iet some cop up in here? 760 00:35:18,123 --> 00:35:19,454 She ain't no cop. 761 00:35:19,747 --> 00:35:22,830 That's the bitch from the news. ChanneI Six. Live at 5:00. 762 00:35:22,914 --> 00:35:25,080 I'm about to put my foot up in your motherfucking mouth. 763 00:35:25,164 --> 00:35:26,746 I'm not a cop. 764 00:35:27,497 --> 00:35:29,746 I'm not. I am. I'm bitch from the news. 765 00:35:29,831 --> 00:35:33,454 "For KZLA, Live at 5:00, Eyewitness News, 766 00:35:33,706 --> 00:35:36,163 "I'm Meghan MiIes. Be weII." 767 00:35:36,497 --> 00:35:38,247 Pookie. Shut the heII up. 768 00:35:38,580 --> 00:35:41,371 Why the heII wouId KZLA's Meghan MiIes 769 00:35:41,455 --> 00:35:43,997 be sucking dick for crack in our hood? 770 00:35:44,081 --> 00:35:46,496 No, I'm not sucking dick for crack. 771 00:35:46,580 --> 00:35:47,913 What are you sucking dick for then? 772 00:35:49,123 --> 00:35:50,163 Nothing. 773 00:35:50,539 --> 00:35:52,205 The shit's free? Uh... 774 00:35:52,289 --> 00:35:54,913 So, you ain't sucked one dick tonight? 775 00:35:58,164 --> 00:35:59,330 Yeah, that's what I thought. 776 00:35:59,414 --> 00:36:02,038 Okay, but it's... That's not... (GROANS) 777 00:36:02,123 --> 00:36:05,080 I'm just Iost. And I just need to make a phone caII. 778 00:36:05,248 --> 00:36:06,330 I just wanted to borrow your phone. 779 00:36:06,414 --> 00:36:07,413 Look, Iook, right here! 780 00:36:07,497 --> 00:36:09,080 Look, Iook. Oh, my God. 781 00:36:09,248 --> 00:36:11,329 Bitch from the news. 782 00:36:11,706 --> 00:36:12,705 Yeah. Look at this. 783 00:36:13,372 --> 00:36:15,496 "Be weII." I Iove it. 784 00:36:15,580 --> 00:36:18,038 Oh, shit. It does kind of Iook Iike you. 785 00:36:18,123 --> 00:36:20,955 Yeah. I'm Meghan. Meghan MiIes. 786 00:36:21,039 --> 00:36:22,538 Look, bitch from the news, 787 00:36:23,539 --> 00:36:25,080 you're reaI good and stuff, 788 00:36:25,248 --> 00:36:27,163 but I just think you need to work on 789 00:36:27,248 --> 00:36:29,163 inviting the audience in a IittIe more. 790 00:36:29,248 --> 00:36:30,371 Earning their trust. 791 00:36:30,455 --> 00:36:33,579 You have a naturaI, approachabIe beauty. I Iike it. 792 00:36:33,706 --> 00:36:36,496 But your deIivery is just a IittIe robotic. 793 00:36:36,622 --> 00:36:40,080 I just feeI Iike you can show us a IittIe more warmth. 794 00:36:40,414 --> 00:36:42,163 I know it's in there. You got that. Pookie. 795 00:36:42,747 --> 00:36:43,997 What you smoking on? 796 00:36:44,497 --> 00:36:47,663 Weed Iaced with embaIming fIuid. It's pretty good. 797 00:36:47,747 --> 00:36:49,871 No, no, no. I kind of see what he's saying. 798 00:36:50,206 --> 00:36:52,538 It's Iike you're cIosed to the worId. 799 00:36:52,622 --> 00:36:53,621 Uh-huh. 800 00:36:53,706 --> 00:36:56,371 Yeah, I mean, Iook how you're hoIding your shouIders right now. 801 00:36:57,372 --> 00:36:58,705 HULK: AII cIosed off. 802 00:37:00,497 --> 00:37:01,913 Like you don't trust us. 803 00:37:04,539 --> 00:37:07,163 Okay. These are exceIIent points. 804 00:37:07,580 --> 00:37:10,454 Viewer feedback is very important to me, Mr... 805 00:37:10,539 --> 00:37:11,579 HuIk. 806 00:37:12,081 --> 00:37:13,621 HuIk and... ScriIIa. 807 00:37:13,872 --> 00:37:15,579 ScriIIa. And Pookie. 808 00:37:15,664 --> 00:37:16,705 With two "O's." 809 00:37:16,956 --> 00:37:18,247 Okay. 810 00:37:18,414 --> 00:37:21,329 I'm going to take everything you said... 811 00:37:21,414 --> 00:37:23,413 I'm going to take it aII under consideration. 812 00:37:23,497 --> 00:37:25,413 I need to get back to do the news. 813 00:37:25,497 --> 00:37:27,413 Tonight, Iive at 5:00. 814 00:37:27,580 --> 00:37:30,579 I'm up for a promotion, so it's reaIIy important that I be there. 815 00:37:30,998 --> 00:37:34,746 But I am Iost. And I don't have a phone 816 00:37:34,831 --> 00:37:37,038 or money, and my car is in the impound Iot. 817 00:37:37,123 --> 00:37:40,955 And I am currentIy standing in the middIe of a ghetto crack house. 818 00:37:41,247 --> 00:37:43,080 Sorry, no offense. 819 00:37:43,164 --> 00:37:44,329 None taken. 820 00:37:44,414 --> 00:37:46,122 That's a pretty fair description. 821 00:37:46,539 --> 00:37:48,205 Look, I'II teII you what. 822 00:37:48,414 --> 00:37:49,746 I'm going to heIp you out. 823 00:37:50,330 --> 00:37:51,955 Yeah. ExactIy. 824 00:37:52,330 --> 00:37:53,329 Give her that one. 825 00:37:53,414 --> 00:37:54,371 Use that one. 826 00:37:54,455 --> 00:37:55,454 Okay. 827 00:37:56,580 --> 00:37:57,579 Thank you. 828 00:37:57,664 --> 00:37:59,663 You got it. Right over there. 829 00:38:01,497 --> 00:38:04,538 Give me that. Damn. What happened to that dress? 830 00:38:04,706 --> 00:38:06,205 Since when do you watch the news? 831 00:38:06,414 --> 00:38:07,997 I wake up at 5:00. 832 00:38:08,081 --> 00:38:09,287 You got a TV? 833 00:38:10,164 --> 00:38:12,038 You see the TV in the back? You need to seII that shit. 834 00:38:12,123 --> 00:38:13,997 You owe me money. I aIready paid you. 835 00:38:14,081 --> 00:38:16,621 What are you taIking about? Remember my EBT card? 836 00:38:16,831 --> 00:38:17,913 SCRILLA: Shut the heII up. 837 00:38:26,330 --> 00:38:27,329 (EXHALES) 838 00:38:31,330 --> 00:38:32,621 What's wrong, sweetheart? 839 00:38:33,872 --> 00:38:35,788 I don't know anybody's number. 840 00:38:36,747 --> 00:38:38,371 They were aII in my phone. 841 00:38:39,164 --> 00:38:41,413 I use the voice-diaIing in my car 842 00:38:41,497 --> 00:38:43,371 and everyone's on speed diaI. 843 00:38:44,497 --> 00:38:46,371 That's some modern-day, fucked-up shit, huh? 844 00:38:47,330 --> 00:38:48,329 Yeah. 845 00:38:50,081 --> 00:38:51,788 I onIy know three numbers. 846 00:38:52,205 --> 00:38:54,997 My parents in Texas and I am not caIIing them. 847 00:38:56,288 --> 00:38:58,287 I know my own number so I couId give it out to peopIe. 848 00:38:58,372 --> 00:39:00,496 I shouId text myseIf, right? Someone might get it. 849 00:39:00,580 --> 00:39:02,496 That's a good idea. Okay. 850 00:39:02,580 --> 00:39:04,204 (READING) 851 00:39:04,414 --> 00:39:05,413 Um... 852 00:39:05,622 --> 00:39:06,663 Where am I? 853 00:39:06,747 --> 00:39:07,746 The hood. 854 00:39:07,831 --> 00:39:09,871 POOKIE: We're more Iike hood-adjacent. Hood. 855 00:39:11,372 --> 00:39:12,371 Hood. Yeah. 856 00:39:13,372 --> 00:39:14,663 So what's the other number? 857 00:39:16,831 --> 00:39:17,830 (PHONE RINGING) 858 00:39:23,039 --> 00:39:24,287 Who is this? 859 00:39:26,580 --> 00:39:29,788 You woke me up, God damn it. I said, who is this? Just taIk. 860 00:39:30,123 --> 00:39:31,454 It's me. It's Meghan. 861 00:39:33,789 --> 00:39:35,080 You were never going to caII me. 862 00:39:35,414 --> 00:39:36,496 l thought we weren't going to talk. 863 00:39:36,580 --> 00:39:39,287 I had to caII you, okay, KyIe? I had to. 864 00:39:39,372 --> 00:39:42,538 Listen, breaking up was the hardest thing I ever did. 865 00:39:42,664 --> 00:39:44,121 Just hold on. 866 00:39:44,288 --> 00:39:47,329 Hang on. Why are you taIking so Iow? 867 00:39:48,664 --> 00:39:49,913 Are you... 868 00:39:50,747 --> 00:39:54,579 Are you with someone? Is someone there with you aIready? 869 00:39:54,664 --> 00:39:55,913 Are you drunk? 870 00:39:55,998 --> 00:39:57,204 TechnicaIIy, probabIy yes. 871 00:39:58,414 --> 00:39:59,496 Is this a booty caII? 872 00:39:59,580 --> 00:40:01,371 No! I don't want to have sex with you! 873 00:40:01,580 --> 00:40:03,496 Damn! Who are you taIking to? 874 00:40:04,247 --> 00:40:05,663 It's my ex-fiancé. 875 00:40:05,747 --> 00:40:07,204 Okay. AII right. 876 00:40:07,539 --> 00:40:09,287 Who's that? That is Pookie. 877 00:40:09,372 --> 00:40:10,663 He's an acquaintance of mine. 878 00:40:10,998 --> 00:40:13,621 Okay, so then you are not aIone, either. What are you doing? 879 00:40:13,706 --> 00:40:14,871 Why are you caIIing me? 880 00:40:14,956 --> 00:40:17,287 I caIIed you because I'm in troubIe, KyIe, okay? 881 00:40:17,414 --> 00:40:18,955 I need you to come and get me. 882 00:40:19,039 --> 00:40:21,579 And I onIy knew three numbers, okay? 883 00:40:21,664 --> 00:40:23,997 You and my parents and 1 -800-FLOWERS, 884 00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:25,621 and I wish to God it wasn't the case. 885 00:40:25,706 --> 00:40:28,788 But some things just stick, you know? I can't get rid of you. 886 00:40:28,914 --> 00:40:30,371 Anybody know any numbers? 887 00:40:30,455 --> 00:40:32,454 I don't know. I know the baiI bond's number. 888 00:40:32,747 --> 00:40:34,746 (SINGING A JINGLE) 889 00:40:37,163 --> 00:40:39,579 What do you need that for? I may need some carpet or something. 890 00:40:40,039 --> 00:40:41,079 Are you in jaiI? 891 00:40:41,163 --> 00:40:43,997 Not yet, but it's a distinct possibiIity. 892 00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:46,830 Sober up. CaII a taxi, aII right? I gotta go. 893 00:40:46,914 --> 00:40:49,121 WOMAN: KyIe, who are you taIking to? 894 00:40:49,330 --> 00:40:50,663 Oh, my God. 895 00:40:50,747 --> 00:40:53,496 Oh, my God. There is someone there! I knew it! You bastard! 896 00:40:53,580 --> 00:40:54,538 I'm sorry. 897 00:40:54,622 --> 00:40:55,579 Meghan. Meghan, please don't call me again. 898 00:40:55,706 --> 00:40:58,246 Baby, can you pIease come heIp me? lt is over, okay? 899 00:40:58,330 --> 00:40:59,371 Listen, Meghan. 900 00:40:59,747 --> 00:41:00,746 Listen to me. 901 00:41:00,831 --> 00:41:02,079 Now you Iisten, motherfucker. 902 00:41:02,622 --> 00:41:05,955 I don't know what you did to Meghan MiIes from the motherfucking news, 903 00:41:06,122 --> 00:41:08,830 but you better drag your cracker-ass out of bed... 904 00:41:09,622 --> 00:41:10,830 This nigga is a cracker, right? 905 00:41:10,914 --> 00:41:12,037 Oh, he's a cracker. 906 00:41:12,247 --> 00:41:13,997 And get down to this crack house 907 00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:15,788 and get Meghan MiIes the fuck out of here. 908 00:41:15,872 --> 00:41:17,746 She has to go do the motherfucking news, 909 00:41:17,956 --> 00:41:19,830 or eIse she won't get her fucking promotion. 910 00:41:20,122 --> 00:41:21,121 SCRILLA: Give me that. 911 00:41:21,205 --> 00:41:23,329 Yo. You show one more motherfucking ounce 912 00:41:23,414 --> 00:41:24,496 of disrespect to this woman, 913 00:41:24,580 --> 00:41:28,496 and I swear I wiII track your bitch-ass down and set your ass on fire. 914 00:41:28,580 --> 00:41:30,913 You hear me? Now, I got your number in my phone, bitch. 915 00:41:30,998 --> 00:41:31,997 Say something eIse! 916 00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:33,621 That's good. That was so sweet. ReaIIy. 917 00:41:33,706 --> 00:41:34,705 Okay, okay. Yes. Yes, sir. 918 00:41:34,872 --> 00:41:36,079 I got you. Thank you. 919 00:41:36,288 --> 00:41:37,538 Who's that? 920 00:41:37,622 --> 00:41:40,162 That was ScriIIa and HuIk. They are aIso acquaintances of mine. 921 00:41:40,580 --> 00:41:42,246 Are you in a crack house? 922 00:41:42,622 --> 00:41:45,496 Yes, KyIe. That is what I am trying to teII you. 923 00:41:45,580 --> 00:41:47,329 I am in a crack house. 924 00:41:48,789 --> 00:41:49,788 Oh, shit. 925 00:41:49,872 --> 00:41:51,496 Die sIow, motherfucker! 926 00:41:51,664 --> 00:41:52,663 (MEGAN SCREAMS) 927 00:41:56,539 --> 00:41:57,955 Is this a joke, Meghan? 928 00:42:01,122 --> 00:42:03,037 What the fuck is happening? 929 00:42:03,122 --> 00:42:05,746 Meghan MiIes from the news, you got to go now. 930 00:42:06,122 --> 00:42:07,496 Go through that door, make a right, 931 00:42:07,580 --> 00:42:09,454 go down the steps. You'II see a vent. 932 00:42:09,539 --> 00:42:12,287 Jump in it and it'II take you out the back. Go, go! 933 00:42:12,914 --> 00:42:13,913 (SCREAMS) 934 00:42:14,414 --> 00:42:17,121 You got this, right? Wait up, bitch from the news. 935 00:42:17,330 --> 00:42:19,121 I'm gonna put some caps in your ass! 936 00:42:20,205 --> 00:42:21,538 Why is this happening to me? 937 00:42:23,831 --> 00:42:24,830 (PANTING NERVOUSLY) 938 00:42:25,288 --> 00:42:26,579 Right down here. 939 00:42:29,539 --> 00:42:31,579 Who the fuck are you, motherfuckers? 940 00:42:36,414 --> 00:42:37,413 (GROANS) 941 00:42:37,997 --> 00:42:39,496 Oh, my bad. Pookie? 942 00:42:39,580 --> 00:42:40,705 Yeah, it's me. 943 00:42:41,539 --> 00:42:43,329 Come on, to the right. Come on. 944 00:42:43,414 --> 00:42:44,538 Now go to the right. Okay. 945 00:42:44,622 --> 00:42:45,663 Get off me! 946 00:42:45,747 --> 00:42:46,788 This way, Meghan MiIes! 947 00:42:46,872 --> 00:42:47,913 Who was that? Why is that happening? 948 00:42:47,997 --> 00:42:48,996 I don't know. 949 00:42:49,497 --> 00:42:52,162 That was insane. I don't want to get shot. Just keep going. 950 00:42:52,247 --> 00:42:54,913 I was just out having a good time. Come on. 951 00:42:56,414 --> 00:42:58,496 POLICE DISPATCHER: (OVER RADIO) 1 2th Street crack house. Shots fired. 952 00:42:58,580 --> 00:43:01,454 Three black males. One Caucasian female in a yellow dress. 953 00:43:02,205 --> 00:43:03,371 Do you beIieve this? 954 00:43:03,455 --> 00:43:05,621 Maybe it's some other white chick in a yeIIow dress. 955 00:43:06,872 --> 00:43:09,371 Hey, hey. Whoa. You saw this Iady? 956 00:43:09,455 --> 00:43:10,663 You've got to go taIk to the Lieutenant. 957 00:43:11,330 --> 00:43:12,954 No, we don't. Yeah, you do. 958 00:43:14,580 --> 00:43:15,663 ActuaIIy, we do. 959 00:43:15,747 --> 00:43:18,413 I know we do. You're just supposed to say we don't. 960 00:43:20,497 --> 00:43:23,413 Ah, shit. Shit, shit. 961 00:43:27,539 --> 00:43:28,538 Pookie... 962 00:43:29,288 --> 00:43:32,079 Do you know where the impound Iot is? 963 00:43:32,163 --> 00:43:33,496 Where they tow cars to? 964 00:43:33,580 --> 00:43:35,912 The tow to. Do you know where that is? Is it nearby? 965 00:43:35,997 --> 00:43:37,663 Yeah, okay, the impound Iot. 966 00:43:37,747 --> 00:43:40,996 What you want to do, you want to take this street aII the way down. 967 00:43:41,372 --> 00:43:44,621 Hit Western. FoIIow that Iike it's your yeIIow brick road. 968 00:43:44,831 --> 00:43:46,454 You are going to go under the 1 0. 969 00:43:46,539 --> 00:43:48,371 If you hit DoIIar Taco, you've gone too far. 970 00:43:48,622 --> 00:43:51,162 The Western and the 1 0. You're sure? 971 00:43:51,247 --> 00:43:54,621 I'm about sure. But Iook, don't use the bathroom at DoIIar Taco. 972 00:43:54,747 --> 00:43:56,830 It's reaIIy bad. Don't do it. Okay. 973 00:43:56,913 --> 00:43:58,413 Thank you. Okay, you be good. 974 00:43:58,580 --> 00:44:00,246 Wait, wait! What? 975 00:44:04,997 --> 00:44:06,204 Oh. No, no. 976 00:44:06,288 --> 00:44:07,870 Here. No, take this. 977 00:44:11,414 --> 00:44:13,663 Pookie, I can't take your crack. 978 00:44:13,955 --> 00:44:16,246 It's worth about $1 0 on the street. 979 00:44:16,747 --> 00:44:18,079 But don't smoke it. 980 00:44:18,455 --> 00:44:21,371 It normaIIy doesn't end weII. At Ieast for me. 981 00:44:21,664 --> 00:44:24,204 Pookie, I cannot take your crack. 982 00:44:24,288 --> 00:44:26,413 No, no, no. I insist. PIease. 983 00:44:26,706 --> 00:44:29,204 When a crackhead gives you his crack, 984 00:44:29,830 --> 00:44:31,788 you have his heart right there. 985 00:44:32,163 --> 00:44:34,746 Just remember to shout out your boy, Pookie, 986 00:44:34,830 --> 00:44:36,454 the next time you're on the air, okay? 987 00:44:39,330 --> 00:44:40,329 Okay. 988 00:44:40,414 --> 00:44:43,246 And don't forget to shout out ScriIIa and HuIk. 989 00:44:43,330 --> 00:44:44,329 Yup. 990 00:44:44,414 --> 00:44:45,996 And Skip, Skip-a-doo. 991 00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:48,162 Treezy, B-Bow, 992 00:44:48,288 --> 00:44:50,329 not to be confused with G-Bow... 993 00:44:50,414 --> 00:44:53,246 LittIe Markeese, and aIso my uncIe, Joseph. Sure. 994 00:44:53,330 --> 00:44:55,037 He's Iocked down in Chino. 995 00:44:56,163 --> 00:44:57,246 Okay. 996 00:44:57,330 --> 00:44:58,371 Oh, and Meghan MiIes. 997 00:44:58,455 --> 00:44:59,496 Yeah? 998 00:44:59,706 --> 00:45:01,162 Be weII. 999 00:45:01,247 --> 00:45:02,371 Be weII, too. 1000 00:45:02,706 --> 00:45:03,705 (SIREN WAILS) 1001 00:45:03,789 --> 00:45:05,496 I'II be weII if I get my ass out of here. 1002 00:45:05,580 --> 00:45:07,371 For two years, there's been a tenuous peace 1003 00:45:07,455 --> 00:45:09,579 between the Gangster DiscipIes and the Figueroa Crew. 1004 00:45:09,664 --> 00:45:12,246 Then, aII of a sudden, some mystery white woman in a yeIIow dress 1005 00:45:12,330 --> 00:45:14,371 shows up and everything goes to shit. 1006 00:45:14,664 --> 00:45:15,829 I know, it's crazy. 1007 00:45:15,913 --> 00:45:17,829 Add to that, she jacks a cab driver. 1008 00:45:17,913 --> 00:45:19,204 Now she's running with ScriIIa's gang. 1009 00:45:19,288 --> 00:45:21,371 No, no, no. She's just a hooker. 1010 00:45:21,580 --> 00:45:22,829 We saw her at the Point. Yeah. 1011 00:45:22,913 --> 00:45:23,870 And you didn't bring her in? 1012 00:45:23,955 --> 00:45:24,954 I wanted to. 1013 00:45:27,414 --> 00:45:30,204 TeII you what, Lieutenant, how about we just brief the next shift coming in... 1014 00:45:30,288 --> 00:45:32,954 Next shift? Ain't no next shift for you. 1015 00:45:33,205 --> 00:45:35,037 You two can ID her. You're staying on untiI we bring her in. 1016 00:45:35,580 --> 00:45:37,663 Caucasian, yeIIow dress, hooker. 1017 00:45:37,955 --> 00:45:39,329 Back to the streets, feIIas. 1018 00:45:39,788 --> 00:45:42,079 Sorry. What's wrong with you? "I wanted to." 1019 00:45:42,163 --> 00:45:43,371 Protect and serve. 1020 00:45:43,455 --> 00:45:44,579 Yeah, go fuck yourseIf, Vic. 1021 00:45:46,706 --> 00:45:47,787 (PHONE CHIMES) 1022 00:46:02,997 --> 00:46:05,621 "It's Meghan. HeIp. Lost in the hood." 1023 00:46:09,288 --> 00:46:10,287 (LINE RINGING) 1024 00:46:12,539 --> 00:46:15,371 HULK: Who this? Oh, hey... This is... 1025 00:46:15,455 --> 00:46:17,079 I'm Iooking for Meghan. 1026 00:46:17,163 --> 00:46:19,413 Bitch from the news? She gone. 1027 00:46:19,830 --> 00:46:21,954 Don't call this number again, motherfucker. 1028 00:46:47,830 --> 00:46:48,829 (SCREAMS) 1029 00:46:48,913 --> 00:46:50,912 Oh, sorry. I didn't see you there. 1030 00:46:52,163 --> 00:46:55,579 You're Meghan MiIes, that ChanneI Six News Iady. ¤En vivo! 1031 00:46:55,705 --> 00:46:57,621 En vivo. What are you doing down here? 1032 00:46:57,913 --> 00:46:59,704 It's a Iong story. You don't have $5, do you? 1033 00:47:00,247 --> 00:47:01,621 In the store, I do. 1034 00:47:01,955 --> 00:47:03,162 WeII, can you wait right here? Sure. 1035 00:47:03,414 --> 00:47:05,996 For $5, Iet me take your photo and I'II put it on the waII. 1036 00:47:06,080 --> 00:47:08,162 Oh! No, I can't have... 1037 00:47:08,247 --> 00:47:10,079 And then I put it on Facebook and everyone Iikes it. 1038 00:47:10,247 --> 00:47:12,621 No, no. You can't put a photo on Facebook. 1039 00:47:12,746 --> 00:47:15,413 No photos. I'II send you a headshot. I'II send you something. 1040 00:47:18,122 --> 00:47:21,037 Hey, Iook! Meghan MiIes on the waIk of shame! 1041 00:47:21,122 --> 00:47:22,121 (CAMERA CLICKING) 1042 00:47:39,705 --> 00:47:40,704 (PHONE RINGING) 1043 00:47:44,205 --> 00:47:45,454 Uh... Meghan's phone. 1044 00:47:45,705 --> 00:47:46,912 Who's this? Where's Meghan? 1045 00:47:46,997 --> 00:47:48,912 This is Gordon. I met Meghan Iast night. 1046 00:47:49,122 --> 00:47:51,329 Where is she now? Why do you have her phone? 1047 00:47:51,414 --> 00:47:52,579 Did you hurt her? 1048 00:47:52,663 --> 00:47:53,745 No. No. 1049 00:47:54,080 --> 00:47:56,454 We went home together Iast night, 1050 00:47:56,539 --> 00:47:59,204 and I'm thinking she might be in some troubIe right now. 1051 00:47:59,288 --> 00:48:01,745 She Ieft her phone here and I have no idea where she is. 1052 00:48:01,830 --> 00:48:03,246 You better be teIIing the truth, psycho. 1053 00:48:03,330 --> 00:48:04,996 Because I wiII out-psycho you. 1054 00:48:05,080 --> 00:48:09,037 And if you hurt Meghan, I wiII rain fucking fury down on you. 1055 00:48:09,122 --> 00:48:10,162 Relax. 1056 00:48:10,247 --> 00:48:11,371 Where do you live? 1057 00:48:11,455 --> 00:48:12,787 244 Traction. 1058 00:48:12,871 --> 00:48:14,079 Where the fuck is that? 1059 00:48:14,414 --> 00:48:16,246 It's downtown, near the Sixth Street Bridge. 1060 00:48:16,455 --> 00:48:17,538 PeopIe Iive there? 1061 00:48:17,621 --> 00:48:18,662 Yeah, l do. 1062 00:48:18,746 --> 00:48:20,538 Buzz 81 0 when you get here. All right. 1063 00:48:20,621 --> 00:48:22,787 WeII, you stay there or I'm caIIing the cops. 1064 00:48:23,414 --> 00:48:24,413 (PHONE RINGS) 1065 00:48:24,580 --> 00:48:25,579 (SOUND MACHINE PLAYING) 1066 00:48:25,663 --> 00:48:26,704 ROSE: Denise, get up. 1067 00:48:26,788 --> 00:48:27,829 I'm up. 1068 00:48:27,913 --> 00:48:29,162 I can hear your sound machine. 1069 00:48:29,247 --> 00:48:32,329 I need to just Iie here. It's bad. It's reaIIy bad. 1070 00:48:32,414 --> 00:48:35,037 Denise, just get up. Meghan might be in troubIe. She needs us. 1071 00:48:35,122 --> 00:48:36,996 You don't understand. (STAMMERING) 1072 00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:39,329 Hey, babe, is everything cooI? 1073 00:48:39,621 --> 00:48:41,204 PIease don't touch me. 1074 00:48:41,663 --> 00:48:42,829 Who is that? 1075 00:48:42,913 --> 00:48:44,912 l made a terrible mistake last night. 1076 00:48:45,579 --> 00:48:48,287 I think I may have taken Iggy Pop home. 1077 00:48:56,497 --> 00:48:58,413 AII right, aII right. What's up? What's up? 1078 00:49:04,913 --> 00:49:07,246 MAN: AII right, aII right. What's up? What's up? 1079 00:49:07,579 --> 00:49:08,704 There you go. 1080 00:49:15,746 --> 00:49:17,079 What the fuck is this? 1081 00:49:17,497 --> 00:49:19,037 Hi. AII right. 1082 00:49:19,579 --> 00:49:21,413 Hey, I don't want to waste anyone's time. 1083 00:49:21,497 --> 00:49:23,829 I'm going to assume that you're a crack deaIer. 1084 00:49:25,247 --> 00:49:27,704 And I was wondering if you wanted a IittIe more. 1085 00:49:27,788 --> 00:49:29,037 A IittIe more what? 1086 00:49:29,913 --> 00:49:31,413 A IittIe more crack. 1087 00:49:31,913 --> 00:49:35,079 You know, Iike, maybe I couId cash it in for some money. 1088 00:49:35,871 --> 00:49:37,578 You want to seII me crack? 1089 00:49:37,663 --> 00:49:39,246 WeII, I technicaIIy don't want to seII it 1090 00:49:39,330 --> 00:49:40,870 because I think that that's wrong, 1091 00:49:40,955 --> 00:49:43,287 but I was hoping to maybe make a return or something. 1092 00:49:43,788 --> 00:49:45,662 Oh. Okay. A return. 1093 00:49:45,746 --> 00:49:47,413 Yeah. Yeah. But you got the receipt? 1094 00:49:49,955 --> 00:49:51,662 Or maybe the box it came in? 1095 00:49:52,414 --> 00:49:54,079 Come on, man. I just have the crack. 1096 00:49:54,163 --> 00:49:55,996 Oh, you just got the crack? Yeah. That's aII I have. 1097 00:49:56,080 --> 00:49:59,204 And I just thought, you know, you couId add it to your stash, 1098 00:49:59,288 --> 00:50:00,496 give me, Iike, 1 0 bucks, 1099 00:50:00,579 --> 00:50:01,578 and then you couId seII it for more, 1100 00:50:01,663 --> 00:50:02,912 and then that's good business. 1101 00:50:04,913 --> 00:50:07,662 You don't waIk into McDonaId's with your own hamburgers 1102 00:50:07,746 --> 00:50:09,287 and try to seII it to them. 1103 00:50:09,372 --> 00:50:10,329 You know why? 1104 00:50:10,414 --> 00:50:11,787 Because they aIready got their own hamburgers. 1105 00:50:11,871 --> 00:50:13,912 Okay. They're not gonna Iook at your hamburgers and be, Iike, 1106 00:50:13,997 --> 00:50:17,704 "Oh, shit! She's got hamburgers. That Iooks Iike a good deaI. 1107 00:50:17,788 --> 00:50:18,912 "Maybe I can buy them, turn around 1108 00:50:18,997 --> 00:50:20,079 "and seII them for twice as much." 1109 00:50:20,163 --> 00:50:21,662 But crack is aII the same, right? 1110 00:50:21,746 --> 00:50:23,162 I mean, Iook, it's just this IittIe thing. 1111 00:50:23,247 --> 00:50:24,454 Put that shit away. What the fuck are you doing, 1112 00:50:24,538 --> 00:50:25,537 trying to set me up? 1113 00:50:25,621 --> 00:50:28,121 I'm saying that it wouId be very easy 1114 00:50:28,205 --> 00:50:29,371 to pass off as your own crack. 1115 00:50:29,455 --> 00:50:30,954 It's probabIy aII from the same pIace, isn't it? 1116 00:50:31,038 --> 00:50:32,413 Where the fuck did you get that stuff? 1117 00:50:32,496 --> 00:50:33,829 WeII, technicaIIy, I got it from Pookie 1118 00:50:33,913 --> 00:50:35,162 who, I'm sure, got it from ScriIIa. 1119 00:50:35,247 --> 00:50:36,829 ScriIIa? Yeah. It's his crack. 1120 00:50:36,913 --> 00:50:39,079 You want to unIoad ScriIIa's shit on my corner? 1121 00:50:39,163 --> 00:50:41,329 Pass it off as my own? You got a death wish, Iady? 1122 00:50:41,496 --> 00:50:42,495 Yo, Ladeke! (WHISTLES) 1123 00:50:42,579 --> 00:50:43,662 What? Who's Ladeke? You don't need to caII him. 1124 00:50:43,746 --> 00:50:45,329 DeaI with this shit. SchooI this bitch right now. 1125 00:50:45,414 --> 00:50:46,537 You're in the wrong territory. 1126 00:50:46,621 --> 00:50:47,745 This is the Figueroa Crew, man. 1127 00:50:47,913 --> 00:50:49,329 I'm going. No, no, no! You don't want my crack? 1128 00:50:49,414 --> 00:50:51,162 I'm not done with you. I didn't know the deaIer etiquette. 1129 00:50:51,247 --> 00:50:52,704 Come back here, man. I'm getting on the bus! 1130 00:50:52,788 --> 00:50:54,829 You want to disrespect me? 1131 00:50:55,538 --> 00:50:57,287 Yo, Ladeke! What am I, a sparrow? 1132 00:50:57,372 --> 00:50:59,578 When I whistIe, you got to respond! 1133 00:51:01,955 --> 00:51:03,537 You can't be behind the Iine. 1134 00:51:03,621 --> 00:51:05,829 This Iine? There's two sides. 1135 00:51:06,080 --> 00:51:07,829 Is this the side? You're on the wrong side. 1136 00:51:07,997 --> 00:51:09,413 Oh. Okay, okay, great. 1137 00:51:10,080 --> 00:51:11,578 $1 .50. 1138 00:51:13,830 --> 00:51:15,121 You, bIondie. 1139 00:51:16,080 --> 00:51:19,662 Uh... Yes. Yes. $1 .50. 1140 00:51:19,746 --> 00:51:22,413 Such a good, round number. 1141 00:51:22,705 --> 00:51:23,745 Where's your money? 1142 00:51:23,913 --> 00:51:26,704 Oh. It's... You know what? You can just keep going. 1143 00:51:26,788 --> 00:51:28,578 It's here somewhere. 1144 00:51:31,454 --> 00:51:32,620 Shame. 1145 00:51:34,080 --> 00:51:35,412 Are you taIking to me? 1146 00:51:35,579 --> 00:51:37,121 Have you no shame? 1147 00:51:37,247 --> 00:51:38,495 I don't know who you think you are, 1148 00:51:38,579 --> 00:51:40,037 Judgey Judgey Judgeyson, but I am... 1149 00:51:40,122 --> 00:51:41,329 You know, don't... 1150 00:51:41,413 --> 00:51:42,787 I'm just trying to get to work. 1151 00:51:42,913 --> 00:51:45,578 Why don't you get your pimp to drive you? 1152 00:51:45,913 --> 00:51:48,121 These peopIe are good peopIe. 1153 00:51:48,413 --> 00:51:51,829 Oh, I'm sorry. I missed the sign, "Good peopIe onIy." 1154 00:51:51,913 --> 00:51:54,162 How do you know what is in my souI? 1155 00:51:54,247 --> 00:51:56,662 Oh, I can teII. I can teII. Hey! $1 .50. 1156 00:51:56,746 --> 00:52:00,246 Okay. Does the $1 .50 need to be paid at every stop? 1157 00:52:00,330 --> 00:52:02,453 Or does it cover the entire journey? 1158 00:52:04,247 --> 00:52:05,704 Are you for serious? 1159 00:52:05,997 --> 00:52:07,370 I am for serious. 1160 00:52:07,705 --> 00:52:08,787 Do you take credit cards? 1161 00:52:08,871 --> 00:52:10,704 Yeah, you can swipe it right there. 1162 00:52:10,788 --> 00:52:16,412 ReaIIy? That is an amazing innovative technoIogy that you can just... 1163 00:52:18,247 --> 00:52:19,412 Do you take debit cards? 1164 00:52:19,788 --> 00:52:21,412 Do you have a debit card? 1165 00:52:22,413 --> 00:52:23,704 I do not. 1166 00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:25,745 Listen, I'm going to give you some advice. 1167 00:52:25,830 --> 00:52:26,829 Sure. 1168 00:52:26,913 --> 00:52:29,329 You might want to think about another Iine of work, 1169 00:52:29,413 --> 00:52:30,662 because you ain't no good at this. 1170 00:52:30,746 --> 00:52:32,412 If you ain't even got $1 .50, 1171 00:52:32,955 --> 00:52:36,495 you probabIy shouId think about retiring as a whore. 1172 00:52:37,080 --> 00:52:41,578 And if you do scrape up $1 .50, use it to buy yourseIf a sandwich. 1173 00:52:41,663 --> 00:52:43,870 That's the reason you can't turn no tricks. 1174 00:52:43,997 --> 00:52:45,745 Because you ain't got no meat on your bones. 1175 00:52:46,038 --> 00:52:47,996 Now, that advice was free. 1176 00:52:48,122 --> 00:52:50,328 But this ride is $1 .50. 1177 00:52:50,413 --> 00:52:53,328 So you can pay that or you can get your ass off my bus. 1178 00:52:53,413 --> 00:52:54,662 Okay. But here's the thing. 1179 00:52:54,746 --> 00:52:58,453 I just need to get as far away from this gang territory as possibIe. 1180 00:52:58,538 --> 00:52:59,578 ReaIIy? 1181 00:52:59,788 --> 00:53:02,246 If you want, I can sit down and teII you the whoIe story. 1182 00:53:02,413 --> 00:53:03,412 Okay. Now. 1183 00:53:03,621 --> 00:53:04,829 No, no. You don't have to get up. 1184 00:53:05,913 --> 00:53:07,829 You ain't nothing but a skinny crack whore! 1185 00:53:07,913 --> 00:53:09,537 Now get your ass off my bus! 1186 00:53:09,621 --> 00:53:12,079 I am not a crack whore. 1187 00:53:12,163 --> 00:53:13,204 (STAMMERS) 1188 00:53:13,288 --> 00:53:15,246 Hmm. Oh, that's... 1189 00:53:15,329 --> 00:53:17,370 You know what? But this is part of that 1190 00:53:17,454 --> 00:53:19,412 Iong story that I wanted to teII you about. 1191 00:53:19,496 --> 00:53:20,578 Okay. Ugh! 1192 00:53:20,746 --> 00:53:21,745 Yuck! 1193 00:53:22,080 --> 00:53:23,537 (SPRAYING) (SCREAMS) 1194 00:53:27,454 --> 00:53:29,037 WOMAN: You did good. 1195 00:53:32,205 --> 00:53:33,204 (GROANS) 1196 00:53:38,997 --> 00:53:40,495 AII right, here it is. 1197 00:53:40,579 --> 00:53:42,328 CouId I conduct the interviews this time? 1198 00:53:42,413 --> 00:53:43,745 Hey, knock yourseIf out. 1199 00:53:43,871 --> 00:53:45,662 SHIFT CAPTAIN: (OVER RADIO) X22. Latest report 1200 00:53:45,746 --> 00:53:49,495 has Caucasian woman in yeIIow dress ejected from municipaI bus 32, 1201 00:53:49,746 --> 00:53:50,829 Western line. 1202 00:53:51,247 --> 00:53:53,079 This sounds Iike a psychotic break. 1203 00:53:53,663 --> 00:53:55,495 That's pretty good there, Dr. PhiI. 1204 00:53:56,454 --> 00:53:57,870 X22 responding. 1205 00:53:58,371 --> 00:53:59,870 Hey, Dan. Yeah? 1206 00:53:59,955 --> 00:54:02,121 I'm just working on the new Granny Bandit story. 1207 00:54:02,205 --> 00:54:03,370 Oh. Granny's oId news. 1208 00:54:03,454 --> 00:54:05,412 I think we have a better story brewing. 1209 00:54:05,496 --> 00:54:08,037 The discord at this year's G8 summit? 1210 00:54:08,122 --> 00:54:09,662 Don't be a smartass. 1211 00:54:09,746 --> 00:54:11,495 The network is coming to see Meghan today. 1212 00:54:11,579 --> 00:54:12,996 We have to do a great show. 1213 00:54:13,080 --> 00:54:14,079 Yeah. 1214 00:54:14,246 --> 00:54:15,996 Have you seen her yet? Nope. 1215 00:54:16,080 --> 00:54:19,079 Did you try and caII her? Yeah, severaI times. 1216 00:54:19,163 --> 00:54:21,412 AII right. If you were Meghan MiIes, where wouId you be? 1217 00:54:22,997 --> 00:54:24,204 (PANTING) 1218 00:54:33,287 --> 00:54:35,079 Nothing to see here. 1219 00:54:40,246 --> 00:54:41,245 (MEN IN SYNAGOGUE CHANTING) 1220 00:54:52,913 --> 00:54:54,037 Lord? 1221 00:55:06,038 --> 00:55:07,079 MEGHAN: HeIIo? 1222 00:55:08,413 --> 00:55:10,412 HeIIo. HeIIo. Hi. 1223 00:55:12,538 --> 00:55:13,620 Hi. 1224 00:55:15,663 --> 00:55:16,745 Can you heIp me? 1225 00:55:19,454 --> 00:55:22,745 But this is a pIace of worship, right? A house of God? 1226 00:55:22,830 --> 00:55:24,620 You're a rabbi. No. 1227 00:55:24,746 --> 00:55:26,662 Oh, you're not a... Isn't that what they're caIIed? No. 1228 00:55:26,746 --> 00:55:27,912 You are obviousIy a temptress 1229 00:55:27,997 --> 00:55:29,328 sent here to test my faith. 1230 00:55:29,413 --> 00:55:30,453 Oh. 1231 00:55:30,538 --> 00:55:33,912 StimuIation is a distraction from, and an offense to, God. 1232 00:55:35,246 --> 00:55:37,328 And with an uncovered head. 1233 00:55:38,080 --> 00:55:39,578 And this dress. 1234 00:55:40,746 --> 00:55:43,245 I shouIdn't Iook. Okay. Can you pIease just go? 1235 00:55:43,413 --> 00:55:44,620 Come on. 1236 00:55:45,788 --> 00:55:47,537 You're teIIing me in this day and age, 1237 00:55:47,621 --> 00:55:50,787 you're not going to Iet me use the bathroom or make a caII, 1238 00:55:50,871 --> 00:55:52,745 or give me bus fare? 1239 00:55:54,122 --> 00:55:56,495 Yeah. I just need $1 .50. 1240 00:55:56,579 --> 00:55:58,996 No, no. Look. There are no women aIIowed in there, okay? 1241 00:55:59,080 --> 00:56:01,079 Women are kept separate from the men. 1242 00:56:01,413 --> 00:56:04,829 In fact, our men aren't even aIIowed to hear a woman sing. 1243 00:56:05,371 --> 00:56:07,079 It's just bus fare. 1244 00:56:08,204 --> 00:56:11,079 That's reaIIy aII I need. No one wiII know. 1245 00:56:11,621 --> 00:56:13,578 There's no one here. It's just us. 1246 00:56:16,913 --> 00:56:19,286 Okay. Look, of aII the prohibitions, 1247 00:56:19,454 --> 00:56:23,996 I Iove the femaIe voice mixing in the wind. 1248 00:56:24,080 --> 00:56:26,286 The IiIt. The sweetness. 1249 00:56:27,913 --> 00:56:30,370 Now, I know I cannot touch. 1250 00:56:32,080 --> 00:56:34,079 But cannot my ears touch? 1251 00:56:36,162 --> 00:56:39,912 A smaII price of $1 .50 wouId eagerIy be paid for such a deIight. 1252 00:56:43,246 --> 00:56:45,203 Forbidden, though it is. 1253 00:56:49,997 --> 00:56:51,912 (SINGING POP SONG QUIETLY) 1254 00:57:00,079 --> 00:57:01,245 PIease don't stop. 1255 00:57:01,830 --> 00:57:03,161 (SINGING MORE LOUDLY) 1256 00:57:12,663 --> 00:57:14,495 (CHORUS SINGING ALONG) 1257 00:57:19,788 --> 00:57:21,620 (MOANING) 1258 00:57:24,079 --> 00:57:25,578 (BOTH SINGING) 1259 00:57:26,579 --> 00:57:27,870 Moshe, what's happening here? 1260 00:57:29,246 --> 00:57:31,286 HeIIo. I don't know. She just appeared. 1261 00:57:31,371 --> 00:57:33,037 She wants money. 1262 00:57:33,204 --> 00:57:37,412 Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no. I sang for you and you owe me. 1263 00:57:37,579 --> 00:57:38,745 (SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 1264 00:57:38,997 --> 00:57:40,537 What's that? He caIIed you a witch. 1265 00:57:40,830 --> 00:57:41,829 Okay. What is wrong with you? 1266 00:57:41,913 --> 00:57:43,745 Come on. You got to have some money in your pocket somewhere. 1267 00:57:43,830 --> 00:57:45,286 No, no, no, you can't! 1268 00:57:47,788 --> 00:57:49,912 MOSHE: Wait, wait! Mekasafa! RABBI ELDER: Stop her! 1269 00:57:50,121 --> 00:57:53,662 PossibIe hate crime at WiIshire Chad... (STUMBLING OVER PRONUNCIATION) 1270 00:57:55,955 --> 00:57:56,996 Chabad! 1271 00:57:57,246 --> 00:57:58,370 Chabad. Chabad. 1272 00:57:58,454 --> 00:57:59,453 Shit. 1273 00:57:59,663 --> 00:58:00,704 Chabad. Synagogue. 1274 00:58:00,788 --> 00:58:02,161 Chabad? It's a pIace of worship. 1275 00:58:02,246 --> 00:58:03,245 Caucasian woman in yellow dress seen... 1276 00:58:07,287 --> 00:58:08,328 Hi. 1277 00:58:08,579 --> 00:58:09,870 Do you... 1278 00:58:10,162 --> 00:58:11,161 Hi. 1279 00:58:11,246 --> 00:58:13,078 I don't have... Leave me aIone. 1280 00:58:13,162 --> 00:58:14,245 Okay. 1281 00:58:16,746 --> 00:58:18,537 Hi. I'm Gordon. 1282 00:58:18,621 --> 00:58:20,078 You are so not her type. 1283 00:58:20,246 --> 00:58:21,286 I get it, though. 1284 00:58:21,913 --> 00:58:23,912 You guys want to come in? 1285 00:58:26,287 --> 00:58:28,995 What is this, an artist Ioft? Are you a hipster? 1286 00:58:29,162 --> 00:58:31,912 Uh... No, not a hipster. I can't grow a convincing enough beard. 1287 00:58:32,162 --> 00:58:34,203 Oh, my God. A singIe man with a cat. Wow. 1288 00:58:35,496 --> 00:58:36,787 She's a rescue. 1289 00:58:36,955 --> 00:58:38,120 What a guy. 1290 00:58:38,287 --> 00:58:39,704 Why do you Iook so famiIiar? 1291 00:58:39,788 --> 00:58:41,620 I was aIso your bartender Iast night. 1292 00:58:41,830 --> 00:58:43,829 I gave you aII your seven or eight rounds of shots. 1293 00:58:44,121 --> 00:58:47,453 Oh! So, you staIk them, get them drunk, then you take them home. 1294 00:58:47,746 --> 00:58:49,370 That is not how it happened, okay? 1295 00:58:49,454 --> 00:58:51,995 She needed heIp. I was trying to heIp her. And we... 1296 00:58:52,079 --> 00:58:53,161 WeII, we kind of hit it off. 1297 00:58:53,329 --> 00:58:55,161 Denise, four-point douche test. Go. 1298 00:58:55,413 --> 00:58:56,453 What? 1299 00:58:56,538 --> 00:58:58,412 Have you ever been to a strip cIub? 1300 00:58:58,913 --> 00:59:00,370 Yes, but they make me uncomfortabIe. 1301 00:59:00,579 --> 00:59:01,662 What do you caII your penis? 1302 00:59:01,746 --> 00:59:02,745 My penis. 1303 00:59:03,037 --> 00:59:04,036 That's hot. 1304 00:59:04,121 --> 00:59:05,412 Denise, focus. Sorry. 1305 00:59:05,830 --> 00:59:07,495 How do you feeI about Robert Pattinson? 1306 00:59:07,579 --> 00:59:08,745 Not my favorite actor. 1307 00:59:08,830 --> 00:59:09,995 You shut your mouth. 1308 00:59:10,246 --> 00:59:12,245 Okay. Can I get a "Whoop, whoop"? 1309 00:59:12,538 --> 00:59:14,245 Whoop, whoop. No. Don't ever do that again. 1310 00:59:14,705 --> 00:59:15,995 LastIy, what wouId you rather do? 1311 00:59:16,079 --> 00:59:18,412 KiII an innocent dog or cheat on your girIfriend? 1312 00:59:18,496 --> 00:59:19,537 Cheat on my girIfriend. 1313 00:59:19,621 --> 00:59:21,412 I'm not going to kiII an innocent dog. That's sick. 1314 00:59:21,496 --> 00:59:22,620 You passed! 1315 00:59:22,788 --> 00:59:23,829 Okay. So, we're good? 1316 00:59:23,913 --> 00:59:24,912 Can I get a hot chocoIate? 1317 00:59:25,162 --> 00:59:26,245 Not so fast. 1318 00:59:26,496 --> 00:59:27,912 WOMAN: Which one is KarIin? 1319 00:59:29,079 --> 00:59:30,953 Hi, Dan. Josh FeIdman. 1320 00:59:31,371 --> 00:59:32,495 CNB. 1321 00:59:32,579 --> 00:59:33,578 Jordan Gether, CNB. 1322 00:59:34,246 --> 00:59:36,078 Dan KarIin, KZLA. 1323 00:59:36,746 --> 00:59:37,829 So, Miss MiIes? 1324 00:59:37,913 --> 00:59:38,953 Where is she? 1325 00:59:39,454 --> 00:59:41,704 Oh! WeII, normaIIy, Meghan wouId be here by now, 1326 00:59:41,788 --> 00:59:45,412 but knowing Meghan, she's out in the fieId doing research. 1327 00:59:51,287 --> 00:59:52,911 Daddy, Iook. Look. 1328 00:59:53,996 --> 00:59:55,578 I think that's Lindsay Lohan. 1329 00:59:55,746 --> 00:59:56,870 No, honey. Just keep waIking. 1330 01:00:04,621 --> 01:00:05,620 (GASPS) 1331 01:00:09,079 --> 01:00:10,453 FEMALE OPERATOR: Operator. How may I heIp you? 1332 01:00:10,538 --> 01:00:12,745 Yes. Hi. Yes, I need heIp. 1333 01:00:13,079 --> 01:00:15,120 I'm in troubIe and... Let me transfer you to 91 1 . 1334 01:00:15,204 --> 01:00:16,662 No poIice. I don't need the poIice. 1335 01:00:16,746 --> 01:00:18,161 I just need heIp making a caII. 1336 01:00:18,246 --> 01:00:20,412 I don't know any numbers and I don't have any money. 1337 01:00:20,496 --> 01:00:23,662 l can call collect for you or if you know of any toll-free numbers. 1338 01:00:23,746 --> 01:00:25,328 I know a toII-free number. 1339 01:00:25,413 --> 01:00:28,453 Uh... Yes. Okay, Iisten. Can you pIease connect me... 1340 01:00:28,538 --> 01:00:29,537 (PHONE RINGS) 1341 01:00:29,996 --> 01:00:31,412 KZLA tip Iine. What's your news tip? 1342 01:00:31,663 --> 01:00:34,995 Yes, hi! Hi! HaIIeIujah. 1343 01:00:35,079 --> 01:00:36,745 It's Meghan MiIes. 1344 01:00:36,912 --> 01:00:39,704 Oh! I just need to speak with Dan KarIin, pIease. 1345 01:00:39,788 --> 01:00:41,495 If you'd Iike to speak to an empIoyee, 1346 01:00:41,579 --> 01:00:43,245 you can caII him or her on their private Iine. 1347 01:00:43,579 --> 01:00:45,829 Okay, great. Can you give me Dan's number, pIease? 1348 01:00:45,912 --> 01:00:47,911 No. Because it's private. 1349 01:00:49,371 --> 01:00:52,203 No. Okay, it's Meghan MiIes. From the news. 1350 01:00:52,287 --> 01:00:54,911 If your news is that you're Meghan MiIes from the news, 1351 01:00:54,996 --> 01:00:56,578 then that's not news because it's not true. 1352 01:00:57,121 --> 01:00:59,161 Now, if you don't have any news, please hang up. 1353 01:00:59,246 --> 01:01:00,412 No. I need to speak with Dan... 1354 01:01:01,830 --> 01:01:02,829 (LINE DISCONNECTS) 1355 01:01:05,996 --> 01:01:07,120 (SCREAMS) 1356 01:01:09,413 --> 01:01:10,787 (SIREN WAILING) (GASPS) 1357 01:01:20,954 --> 01:01:21,953 (SIGHS) 1358 01:01:26,037 --> 01:01:28,662 So, you drove her home in her car. 1359 01:01:28,746 --> 01:01:29,869 Yes. That's right. 1360 01:01:29,954 --> 01:01:31,203 Why didn't you take your car? 1361 01:01:32,246 --> 01:01:33,620 I don't have a car. 1362 01:01:33,996 --> 01:01:36,036 You don't have a car in the city of Los AngeIes. 1363 01:01:36,121 --> 01:01:37,286 How do you get around? 1364 01:01:37,371 --> 01:01:39,328 I take pubIic transportation, mostIy. 1365 01:01:39,413 --> 01:01:42,828 I wiII take the bus to work, normaIIy. Sometimes I take the subway. 1366 01:01:42,912 --> 01:01:44,370 You son of a bitch! 1367 01:01:44,454 --> 01:01:45,869 Oh! You kiIIed her! 1368 01:01:45,954 --> 01:01:47,828 Denise, Jesus! Whoa, whoa, whoa! 1369 01:01:47,912 --> 01:01:50,786 He is Iying to us. There's no subway in Los AngeIes. 1370 01:01:50,870 --> 01:01:51,911 Yes, there is. 1371 01:01:51,996 --> 01:01:53,245 Where? How come I've never seen it? 1372 01:01:53,621 --> 01:01:54,662 It's underground. 1373 01:01:56,746 --> 01:01:58,245 Right. Okay. 1374 01:01:59,912 --> 01:02:01,078 Sorry about that. 1375 01:02:01,246 --> 01:02:03,537 Okay. So, she Ieft her phone. 1376 01:02:04,204 --> 01:02:05,662 What eIse did she Ieave? 1377 01:02:05,746 --> 01:02:08,453 I don't know. She didn't come in with much. She had her phone and... 1378 01:02:08,538 --> 01:02:09,662 Her keys. I had her keys. 1379 01:02:09,746 --> 01:02:10,869 WeII, where did you put them? 1380 01:02:10,954 --> 01:02:12,078 Over by the door, on the tabIe. 1381 01:02:13,912 --> 01:02:17,412 The keys aren't here. So, she probabIy has her keys. 1382 01:02:17,621 --> 01:02:19,495 She has her key? That's great! 1383 01:02:19,579 --> 01:02:21,578 She has the Keytective key service on her keychain. 1384 01:02:23,371 --> 01:02:24,911 (SINGING JINGLE) 1385 01:02:25,037 --> 01:02:27,245 What in God's name are you rambIing on about? 1386 01:02:27,329 --> 01:02:28,704 It's a IittIe thing that goes on your keychain, 1387 01:02:28,787 --> 01:02:30,370 and it has a IittIe computer inside 1388 01:02:30,454 --> 01:02:32,495 and it bIinks a IittIe Iight and then it goes up to the universe, 1389 01:02:32,579 --> 01:02:34,495 and somehow they can figure out where the heck you are. 1390 01:02:34,579 --> 01:02:35,620 I auditioned for their commerciaI. 1391 01:02:35,705 --> 01:02:38,328 Anyway, I toId Meghan about it. She thought it was sensibIe. 1392 01:02:38,413 --> 01:02:40,036 (PHONE CHIMES) ROSE: That's our girI. Okay. 1393 01:02:40,287 --> 01:02:42,578 Let's caII from the car and see if the service number's in there. 1394 01:02:42,663 --> 01:02:44,578 No, no. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. She just got a text. 1395 01:02:44,705 --> 01:02:47,828 "MiIes, wrong day to be MIA. WTF." 1396 01:02:47,912 --> 01:02:49,245 What the fuck? "Network is here. 1397 01:02:49,329 --> 01:02:52,328 "Job's yours if you can just get here for newscast. KarIin." 1398 01:02:52,413 --> 01:02:54,704 KarIin is her boss. Oh, my God. We have to find her! 1399 01:02:54,912 --> 01:02:56,578 So, Mr. KarIin, to your knowIedge, 1400 01:02:56,663 --> 01:02:59,828 any questionabIe FIickr images, tweets, 1401 01:02:59,912 --> 01:03:03,078 pics, IMs, emaiIs, Facebook status updates, 1402 01:03:03,287 --> 01:03:06,328 YeIp reviews, anything at aII associated with Meghan MiIes? 1403 01:03:06,413 --> 01:03:09,245 No. Meghan MiIes is a good girI. 1404 01:03:28,329 --> 01:03:29,412 Okay. 1405 01:03:29,870 --> 01:03:31,078 Come on. 1406 01:03:32,745 --> 01:03:33,953 Locked. 1407 01:03:42,246 --> 01:03:44,245 Lady, what are you doing with my bike? 1408 01:03:44,413 --> 01:03:45,995 I'm reaIIy, reaIIy sorry. 1409 01:03:46,413 --> 01:03:49,036 But I'm going to need to borrow your bike. 1410 01:03:49,121 --> 01:03:52,328 I got to get to my car. I got to get my Iife back. 1411 01:03:54,079 --> 01:03:55,953 Have you ever had one of those days 1412 01:03:56,037 --> 01:03:57,869 where everything you do just goes wrong? 1413 01:03:58,162 --> 01:04:00,744 And no matter how hard you try, 1414 01:04:00,829 --> 01:04:02,328 or how good your intentions, 1415 01:04:02,413 --> 01:04:06,744 Iife just keeps beating, beating you down, huh? 1416 01:04:08,579 --> 01:04:10,911 I couId reaIIy use a friend right now. 1417 01:04:11,287 --> 01:04:13,578 So, if you just Iet me borrow your bike, 1418 01:04:13,996 --> 01:04:18,036 I'II have it back to you in no time. ReaIIy, I promise. 1419 01:04:18,121 --> 01:04:21,120 It wouId just be so great if you couId heIp me out. 1420 01:04:23,037 --> 01:04:24,412 (SIGHS) Okay. 1421 01:04:26,246 --> 01:04:27,412 Oh, kid. 1422 01:04:28,079 --> 01:04:29,120 You're an angeI. 1423 01:04:29,204 --> 01:04:31,245 Show me your boobs and I'II Iet you borrow my bike. 1424 01:04:35,079 --> 01:04:36,161 Boobies. 1425 01:04:39,787 --> 01:04:41,911 I had higher hopes for you. 1426 01:04:42,662 --> 01:04:44,828 AII right, Iet's go. Get over here. Come on. 1427 01:04:45,912 --> 01:04:47,412 Get in cIose. 1428 01:04:48,912 --> 01:04:50,744 CIose your eyes first. 1429 01:04:52,745 --> 01:04:53,828 I'm caIIing your mother. 1430 01:04:53,912 --> 01:04:56,578 What are you doing? That's my bike! 1431 01:04:56,662 --> 01:04:57,661 Hey! 1432 01:04:57,912 --> 01:05:00,161 SHIFT CAPTAIN: X22. OIympic PubIic Library. 1433 01:05:00,246 --> 01:05:03,328 Bike stolen. Suspect is femaIe in yellow dress. 1434 01:05:03,579 --> 01:05:05,786 It reaIIy seems Iike she wants to get caught. 1435 01:05:05,870 --> 01:05:08,328 She's Iike a criminaI beacon, sending off signaIs. 1436 01:05:08,413 --> 01:05:09,995 Where did you get that from? 1437 01:05:10,079 --> 01:05:11,370 The detective's exam manuaI. 1438 01:05:11,454 --> 01:05:13,578 Detective's... Written by what, Oprah? 1439 01:05:14,162 --> 01:05:15,495 Good afternoon, Los AngeIes. 1440 01:05:15,579 --> 01:05:17,661 CarpocaIypse is in full swing. 1441 01:05:17,829 --> 01:05:20,412 So, if you're crazy enough to be on the freeways, 1442 01:05:20,496 --> 01:05:22,036 may God have mercy on you. 1443 01:05:22,204 --> 01:05:23,203 Which he won't. 1444 01:05:27,162 --> 01:05:28,786 ROSE: Gordon, this is what a car Iooks Iike. 1445 01:05:28,870 --> 01:05:30,036 Oh... Thank you. 1446 01:05:30,620 --> 01:05:32,161 AII right. This is so exciting! 1447 01:05:32,413 --> 01:05:35,078 Keytective. Right here in her phone. CaIIing. Awesome. 1448 01:05:35,162 --> 01:05:37,995 KEYTECTIVE OPERATOR: Keytective operator assist. Who am l speaking to? 1449 01:05:38,079 --> 01:05:39,078 Uh... 1450 01:05:39,413 --> 01:05:40,953 Meghan. (SOFTLY) MiIes. 1451 01:05:41,037 --> 01:05:43,161 MiIes. Meghan MiIes. That's me. 1452 01:05:43,246 --> 01:05:45,036 Okay. Mr. MiIes? 1453 01:05:45,829 --> 01:05:47,577 What is your password? Uh... 1454 01:05:48,413 --> 01:05:51,245 The password is... Is it mother's maiden name? 1455 01:05:51,329 --> 01:05:53,245 The hint is your pet's name. Mr. T! 1456 01:05:53,454 --> 01:05:54,911 My dog's name is Mr. T. 1457 01:05:55,204 --> 01:05:56,495 Yeah, we went deep Iast night. 1458 01:05:56,578 --> 01:05:57,828 I bet you did. 1459 01:05:57,912 --> 01:06:00,536 Let me just run a trace on your ignition key's GPS. 1460 01:06:00,620 --> 01:06:02,328 Great. They're running a trace. 1461 01:06:02,413 --> 01:06:05,036 Wow. So, you actuaIIy banged Meghan Iast night. 1462 01:06:05,246 --> 01:06:08,328 I am reaIIy proud of her for Ietting go. I reaIIy am. 1463 01:06:08,496 --> 01:06:10,661 Was she a freak? I bet she was. 1464 01:06:10,745 --> 01:06:12,495 I'm not taIking about the detaiIs with you. 1465 01:06:12,578 --> 01:06:13,911 Did she juggIe your baIIs? 1466 01:06:14,162 --> 01:06:16,453 Did she sIap you around a IittIe bit, teII you you're pretty? 1467 01:06:16,537 --> 01:06:17,786 Because you're pretty. 1468 01:06:18,037 --> 01:06:21,828 You saw this Iady in a yeIIow dress steaI your bike? 1469 01:06:21,912 --> 01:06:23,370 She was reaIIy scary. 1470 01:06:23,454 --> 01:06:24,536 You got a good Iook at her? 1471 01:06:24,620 --> 01:06:27,286 Yeah. She had these, Iike, crazy eyes. 1472 01:06:28,287 --> 01:06:31,661 AII right, kid. Come with us. Hop in. We'II do a ride-aIong, okay? 1473 01:06:32,371 --> 01:06:36,036 But when we find her, I want five minutes aIone with her, okay? 1474 01:06:36,704 --> 01:06:38,161 Not okay, creepy kid. 1475 01:06:38,413 --> 01:06:39,828 Get in the back. Be happy you're coming. 1476 01:06:39,912 --> 01:06:41,412 Let's concentrate on apprehending the perp, okay? 1477 01:06:41,537 --> 01:06:43,412 Christ, it's Iike the fucking Goonies. 1478 01:06:44,704 --> 01:06:47,661 GORDON: What? No. I wouIdn't want that even if she'd agree to it. 1479 01:06:47,745 --> 01:06:49,703 Why? Is that something that you Iike? 1480 01:06:49,787 --> 01:06:50,953 It's just a pinky. 1481 01:06:51,704 --> 01:06:53,786 KEYTECTIVE OPERATOR: Sorry for the deIay. l can see that 1482 01:06:53,870 --> 01:06:55,661 the key is at Rossmore and Normandie. 1483 01:06:55,745 --> 01:06:57,161 But it seems to be moving. 1484 01:07:03,829 --> 01:07:05,245 lt's moving west on Normandie. 1485 01:07:05,620 --> 01:07:06,661 West on Normandie. 1486 01:07:06,745 --> 01:07:08,995 Okay, great. Rose, go to Norton and WiIshire. 1487 01:07:09,079 --> 01:07:10,078 ROSE: I don't know where I am. 1488 01:07:10,162 --> 01:07:11,370 GORDON: Three more bIocks. And then make a right. 1489 01:07:12,787 --> 01:07:15,370 Hey, driver, you got to go faster. We have to find the bike. 1490 01:07:15,454 --> 01:07:16,494 It's "Officer." 1491 01:07:16,745 --> 01:07:18,661 "Driver"? What's your dad, rich or something? 1492 01:07:18,745 --> 01:07:21,453 My dad's taxes pay your biIIs. Find the bike. 1493 01:07:21,537 --> 01:07:24,161 Kid, if you don't shut up, I'm going to drop you off right on this corner. 1494 01:07:24,246 --> 01:07:25,286 How about that? 1495 01:07:25,371 --> 01:07:26,703 God, I just want to find my bike! 1496 01:07:26,870 --> 01:07:27,828 And I just want 1497 01:07:27,912 --> 01:07:28,911 to be fucking fishing! 1498 01:07:29,745 --> 01:07:30,953 (SOBS) Oh, my God. 1499 01:07:31,121 --> 01:07:32,161 Oh, come on. 1500 01:07:32,329 --> 01:07:34,286 There you go. You've reaIIy hurt his feeIings now. 1501 01:07:34,371 --> 01:07:36,078 WeII, the kid's an asshoIe. 1502 01:07:36,413 --> 01:07:38,412 And here we are on the 101 . 1503 01:07:38,495 --> 01:07:40,494 Looking down at the gorgeous San Fernando VaIIey. 1504 01:07:40,578 --> 01:07:41,869 Home of the porn industry, 1505 01:07:41,954 --> 01:07:45,412 where l had the opportunity to work at one point in my career. 1506 01:07:45,495 --> 01:07:47,036 l worked the boom mic. 1507 01:07:47,121 --> 01:07:49,328 But did that stop me from getting gonorrhea? 1508 01:07:49,413 --> 01:07:51,078 Well, l think we all know the answer to that. 1509 01:07:51,704 --> 01:07:53,203 (INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER) 1510 01:07:56,246 --> 01:07:57,328 What are you smoking? 1511 01:07:58,578 --> 01:07:59,577 It's an e-cig. 1512 01:07:59,662 --> 01:08:00,661 Fake cigarette. 1513 01:08:00,745 --> 01:08:03,203 That's dumb. I smoke weed. (CHUCKLING) 1514 01:08:03,662 --> 01:08:05,036 Great. Now we have to arrest you. 1515 01:08:05,537 --> 01:08:06,577 No, I was kidding. 1516 01:08:06,745 --> 01:08:07,911 WeII, you're aIready in the back. 1517 01:08:08,412 --> 01:08:09,703 WALTER: Why is this kid here? DAVE: He's a witness. 1518 01:08:09,829 --> 01:08:11,494 WALTER: The yeIIow dress is going to give her away. (GASPS) 1519 01:08:11,912 --> 01:08:12,911 (GASPS) 1520 01:08:13,329 --> 01:08:14,328 (GROWLS) 1521 01:08:14,412 --> 01:08:15,452 You... 1522 01:08:15,662 --> 01:08:17,036 Over there! Over there, sir! Go back! There she is. 1523 01:08:17,121 --> 01:08:18,411 AII right, aII right. BOY: Make a U-turn. Hurry! 1524 01:08:20,246 --> 01:08:22,203 KID: Go back! WALTER: AII right, aII right, reIax. 1525 01:08:26,246 --> 01:08:28,286 BOY: Come on! Drive faster! Stop banging on the gIass! 1526 01:08:35,495 --> 01:08:37,161 (MAN SPEAKING IN KOREAN ON TV) 1527 01:08:40,704 --> 01:08:42,203 There it is! Over there. My bike! WALTER: I see the bike. 1528 01:08:42,329 --> 01:08:44,245 DAVE: Bingo! WALTER: Here we go. AII right, she's here. 1529 01:08:49,537 --> 01:08:52,619 Stay in the car. X22 pursuing suspect on foot. 1530 01:08:53,329 --> 01:08:55,911 Entering parking Iot, corner of Vermont and Third. 1531 01:08:59,870 --> 01:09:00,869 (GASPS) 1532 01:09:00,954 --> 01:09:02,619 Miko, is that you? 1533 01:09:03,246 --> 01:09:04,203 Come. 1534 01:09:04,287 --> 01:09:05,328 Uh... 1535 01:09:05,412 --> 01:09:06,411 WALTER: PoIice officer. 1536 01:09:06,537 --> 01:09:08,286 (FEIGNING FOREIGN ACCENT) Oh, no. HeIIo, heIIo? 1537 01:09:11,578 --> 01:09:12,911 No. 1538 01:09:13,412 --> 01:09:14,661 New girI. 1539 01:09:15,578 --> 01:09:17,245 Oh! New girI. 1540 01:09:17,495 --> 01:09:19,161 Okay, Iet's do this. 1541 01:09:19,745 --> 01:09:20,953 You know what to do? 1542 01:09:21,037 --> 01:09:24,411 (WHISPERING) God. I am never doing shots again. 1543 01:09:24,745 --> 01:09:26,411 And use pIenty of Iube. 1544 01:09:32,578 --> 01:09:35,661 X22, we are in pursuit inside the Happy Oasis Spa. 1545 01:09:35,745 --> 01:09:36,744 Copy that. 1546 01:09:36,829 --> 01:09:38,995 WOMAN: You, what do you feIIows want? 1547 01:09:39,412 --> 01:09:40,828 Ma'am, we're in pursuit of a suspect. 1548 01:09:40,912 --> 01:09:42,245 We just want to Iook around a IittIe bit. 1549 01:09:42,328 --> 01:09:45,161 You're not my guy. I took care of my guy aIready. 1550 01:09:46,079 --> 01:09:47,953 What does that mean, WaIter? 1551 01:09:48,037 --> 01:09:49,203 Don't worry about it. 1552 01:09:50,370 --> 01:09:51,369 (MOANS SOFTLY) 1553 01:09:52,162 --> 01:09:54,411 Oh. Yeah, yeah. I Iike. 1554 01:09:58,453 --> 01:10:00,452 This is good. This is good. 1555 01:10:01,162 --> 01:10:02,286 (GAGS) 1556 01:10:03,079 --> 01:10:04,161 KEYTECTIVE OPERATOR: lt stopped moving. 1557 01:10:04,246 --> 01:10:05,411 GORDON: Oh, great. Thank you. 1558 01:10:05,578 --> 01:10:06,869 Okay. She stopped moving. 1559 01:10:06,954 --> 01:10:08,619 We got an address. Let's do this. Let's go get her. 1560 01:10:08,912 --> 01:10:10,995 No, no. I go caII my guy at the station. 1561 01:10:11,286 --> 01:10:13,161 My guy, Vic. Okay? 1562 01:10:13,246 --> 01:10:14,703 You know Vic? 1563 01:10:14,912 --> 01:10:16,078 (LAUGHS) HiIarious. 1564 01:10:16,578 --> 01:10:18,577 So, new girI, what's your name? 1565 01:10:18,745 --> 01:10:21,536 Kim Jong-iI. 1566 01:10:22,121 --> 01:10:23,911 That's beautifuI name. 1567 01:10:24,246 --> 01:10:27,203 Listen, can you push harder on muscIe pIease? 1568 01:10:27,286 --> 01:10:29,828 Yeah, yeah. I know, you're tense, you're tense. 1569 01:10:29,912 --> 01:10:30,995 Oh, yeah. 1570 01:10:31,162 --> 01:10:35,161 I had bad night. This yeIIow whore cheat me out of fare. 1571 01:10:35,578 --> 01:10:37,245 I cab driver. 1572 01:10:37,662 --> 01:10:40,661 I chase her, but better I don't catch her. 1573 01:10:41,328 --> 01:10:43,577 In this country, you can't just kiII. 1574 01:10:43,996 --> 01:10:45,703 This is exciting. Shh. 1575 01:10:46,912 --> 01:10:48,494 Kim, why you stop? (SHUSHING) 1576 01:10:48,620 --> 01:10:51,161 Uh... No, no. You're tense. You're so tense. 1577 01:10:52,453 --> 01:10:54,369 Good. Yeah. (GRUNTS) Stay down. 1578 01:10:55,912 --> 01:10:57,619 Quiet, quiet. Feet. I Iike that. 1579 01:11:02,245 --> 01:11:03,828 Time for happy concIusion. 1580 01:11:03,912 --> 01:11:04,911 Shh. (GRUNTS) 1581 01:11:09,745 --> 01:11:10,744 Shit. 1582 01:11:11,245 --> 01:11:12,244 (YELPS) 1583 01:11:12,328 --> 01:11:14,203 Kim, what happened? What was that? 1584 01:11:14,620 --> 01:11:15,869 (SCREAMS) 1585 01:11:16,578 --> 01:11:17,619 Kim. (GROANS) 1586 01:11:19,662 --> 01:11:20,744 You! 1587 01:11:21,245 --> 01:11:22,536 (CAB DRIVER SHOUTS IN RUSSIAN) 1588 01:11:23,829 --> 01:11:25,744 WALTER: This way. I'm coming! I got you covered. 1589 01:11:29,121 --> 01:11:30,995 Other side. I couId kick it down. 1590 01:11:31,079 --> 01:11:32,203 Other side. 1591 01:11:32,412 --> 01:11:33,494 (SHOUTING IN RUSSIAN) 1592 01:11:33,578 --> 01:11:36,078 Jesus Christ. Did you see a woman in a yeIIow dress? 1593 01:11:36,162 --> 01:11:39,078 Yeah! She steaI money from me and then she assauIted me. 1594 01:11:39,245 --> 01:11:40,411 Go find her. You are poIice! 1595 01:11:46,870 --> 01:11:47,869 Whoa. 1596 01:11:47,954 --> 01:11:48,995 Check it out. 1597 01:11:53,745 --> 01:11:55,411 She can't have gotten too far. 1598 01:11:56,370 --> 01:11:57,577 Stop! DRIVER: Out of the way! 1599 01:11:58,286 --> 01:11:59,452 Officer. 1600 01:12:22,079 --> 01:12:23,953 Any Iuck with MiIes? Nothing. 1601 01:12:24,037 --> 01:12:25,744 DAN: We got to find her. 1602 01:12:36,037 --> 01:12:37,036 (GASPS) 1603 01:12:55,245 --> 01:12:56,577 CarpocaIypse. 1604 01:12:57,161 --> 01:12:59,244 I can get across. I just have to... 1605 01:12:59,370 --> 01:13:00,327 No. (SCREAMS) 1606 01:13:00,412 --> 01:13:02,494 Oh, my God. Sorry. God, you scared me. 1607 01:13:03,120 --> 01:13:05,953 Who are you? What are you doing here? 1608 01:13:07,829 --> 01:13:09,244 I need to get across the freeway. 1609 01:13:09,578 --> 01:13:11,536 Underpass about a miIe down. 1610 01:13:11,620 --> 01:13:15,036 No. I don't have to go that far. The freeway's empty. 1611 01:13:15,412 --> 01:13:18,327 There won't be any cars untiI 4:00 p.m. 1612 01:13:18,745 --> 01:13:21,285 I couId maybe Iet you cross here. 1613 01:13:22,079 --> 01:13:23,160 Great. 1614 01:13:23,912 --> 01:13:25,285 For a toII. 1615 01:13:25,620 --> 01:13:27,411 A toII? I have nothing. 1616 01:13:27,578 --> 01:13:29,078 I have no money. I have no... 1617 01:13:29,662 --> 01:13:31,119 I Iike those. 1618 01:13:32,578 --> 01:13:34,078 They're a nice coIor. 1619 01:13:34,161 --> 01:13:35,369 Man! I just got these. 1620 01:13:35,787 --> 01:13:37,953 Hey, Dan, l'm over the freeway for the re-opening. 1621 01:13:38,037 --> 01:13:39,661 T-minus 30. 1622 01:13:39,745 --> 01:13:43,327 l'll shoot it and then hover. And you can come back to me live at 5:00. 1623 01:13:44,161 --> 01:13:45,828 Yeah, if we have an anchor. 1624 01:13:45,912 --> 01:13:48,452 What do you mean? Where's Meghan Miles? 1625 01:14:04,578 --> 01:14:06,744 You've got a feed from Chopper Steve. Check this out. 1626 01:14:07,412 --> 01:14:08,869 Dan, are you watching this? Yeah, Steve. 1627 01:14:08,954 --> 01:14:11,828 Oh, my God! There's a woman in a yellow dress trying to cross the freeway. 1628 01:14:12,787 --> 01:14:13,869 DAVE AND WALTER: Freeze! (SCREAMS) 1629 01:14:13,954 --> 01:14:15,244 Put your hands in the air! 1630 01:14:15,328 --> 01:14:16,911 Freeze! Get down on the ground! 1631 01:14:17,037 --> 01:14:18,327 Put your hands behind your back. 1632 01:14:18,578 --> 01:14:19,995 Hands back. Hands in the air! 1633 01:14:20,161 --> 01:14:21,744 Hands up or hands down? 1634 01:14:21,912 --> 01:14:23,911 Do not move. Let me see your hands. 1635 01:14:24,412 --> 01:14:25,577 Dave, stop taIking about her hands. 1636 01:14:25,662 --> 01:14:26,661 I'm sorry, WaIter. 1637 01:14:26,745 --> 01:14:28,160 I got this. Just Iet me handIe this. 1638 01:14:28,245 --> 01:14:29,285 Don't move. Don't move. 1639 01:14:29,370 --> 01:14:30,703 We got her, WaIter. We got her. 1640 01:14:30,787 --> 01:14:32,119 We got her. AII right. Game over, ma'am. 1641 01:14:35,829 --> 01:14:37,703 Stop! Ma'am, stop! Shit. I knew it. 1642 01:14:38,078 --> 01:14:39,577 Come on, Dave. Come on. No! 1643 01:14:39,662 --> 01:14:40,911 No! Don't, don't, don't! 1644 01:14:42,954 --> 01:14:44,035 WALTER: No! 1645 01:14:45,286 --> 01:14:46,327 (HORNS HONKING) (SCREAMS) 1646 01:14:46,412 --> 01:14:47,411 DAVE: No! 1647 01:14:48,412 --> 01:14:49,411 ALL: Oh! WOMAN: God! 1648 01:14:49,495 --> 01:14:51,244 Oh, my God! She made it. 1649 01:14:51,912 --> 01:14:53,411 WALTER: Jesus Christ, she's an OIympian. 1650 01:14:53,578 --> 01:14:54,786 WaIter, she's getting away! 1651 01:14:54,870 --> 01:14:55,995 I'm sorry! 1652 01:14:56,078 --> 01:14:58,119 WaIter, we're stuck. That chick is a psycho. 1653 01:14:58,537 --> 01:15:00,077 Good job, Steve. Keep on her. 1654 01:15:00,161 --> 01:15:01,744 l'm on it. No, lost her. 1655 01:15:10,745 --> 01:15:11,911 Suckers. 1656 01:15:30,078 --> 01:15:31,160 (LAUGHS) 1657 01:15:34,912 --> 01:15:35,911 (HORN HONKS) 1658 01:15:37,245 --> 01:15:38,661 Do not caII. Don't teII Vic! 1659 01:15:38,745 --> 01:15:40,077 But I got to caII it in. 1660 01:15:40,161 --> 01:15:41,953 Do not teII Vic. I wiII fucking shoot you. WaIter! 1661 01:15:42,120 --> 01:15:44,160 You Ieft your purse in your car? Yes. 1662 01:15:45,161 --> 01:15:46,202 And your shoes, too? 1663 01:15:46,620 --> 01:15:47,619 Um... 1664 01:15:47,953 --> 01:15:50,661 I don't see what the shoes have to do with anything. 1665 01:15:50,745 --> 01:15:53,452 Okay, I cannot Iet you in that car without payment. 1666 01:15:54,286 --> 01:15:56,244 I have the key! 1667 01:15:56,620 --> 01:15:58,619 It's right here. Look. 1668 01:15:58,953 --> 01:15:59,994 Boop-boop. (CAR ALARM CHIMES) 1669 01:16:00,078 --> 01:16:03,619 See the boop? You can't bIock a boop-boop with your hand. Boop-boop. 1670 01:16:03,912 --> 01:16:06,244 Look, turn around. You'II see it boop-booping. 1671 01:16:06,328 --> 01:16:08,619 Mmm-mmm. I'm not going to faII for this. It couId be a trick. 1672 01:16:09,745 --> 01:16:12,744 What kind of trick? What am I, a magician? 1673 01:16:12,829 --> 01:16:15,494 You need to caIm down. I'm trying to heIp you. 1674 01:16:15,745 --> 01:16:17,494 You are? Yeah. 1675 01:16:17,912 --> 01:16:19,786 ReaIIy? Yeah. 1676 01:16:21,245 --> 01:16:24,202 Now, what is the address from where 1677 01:16:24,829 --> 01:16:26,910 "your" car was towed? 1678 01:16:27,078 --> 01:16:28,411 Okay. Yes. 1679 01:16:28,495 --> 01:16:29,661 It was... Um... 1680 01:16:29,745 --> 01:16:31,661 Okay. WeII, it's not... 1681 01:16:32,578 --> 01:16:34,119 It's not my address. 1682 01:16:34,203 --> 01:16:38,744 Because I was visiting a friend at the time of the towing. 1683 01:16:40,078 --> 01:16:41,452 He was a... 1684 01:16:42,161 --> 01:16:43,910 It was a new friend. 1685 01:16:44,620 --> 01:16:45,869 Naughty. 1686 01:16:47,036 --> 01:16:50,244 Are you teIIing me that there's no way 1687 01:16:50,453 --> 01:16:55,786 that I couId go to my car, without my Iicense, and get my waIIet, 1688 01:16:55,870 --> 01:16:57,577 which has my money? 1689 01:16:58,328 --> 01:16:59,828 Do you see what I'm Iaying down? 1690 01:16:59,911 --> 01:17:01,202 Do you see what I'm putting down? 1691 01:17:01,286 --> 01:17:02,910 I'm putting that down. 1692 01:17:03,245 --> 01:17:04,452 Are you trying to bribe me? 1693 01:17:05,911 --> 01:17:06,952 No. 1694 01:17:07,662 --> 01:17:08,703 That's a shame. 1695 01:17:08,787 --> 01:17:12,160 Because I was thinking I might want Quiznos for Iunch today. 1696 01:17:12,245 --> 01:17:13,494 How much? 1697 01:17:13,745 --> 01:17:14,868 $500. 1698 01:17:15,412 --> 01:17:18,411 Quiznos does not cost $500. 1699 01:17:18,620 --> 01:17:19,786 It does for me. 1700 01:17:19,911 --> 01:17:20,994 Okay, you are going to Iet me into my car. 1701 01:17:21,078 --> 01:17:22,077 Hands off of there! 1702 01:17:22,161 --> 01:17:23,494 You are going to Iet me into my car! 1703 01:17:23,578 --> 01:17:24,703 Hands off! Stop it! 1704 01:17:24,869 --> 01:17:26,577 Get your hands off the gIass! 1705 01:17:27,745 --> 01:17:29,411 Stop it. No! 1706 01:17:29,495 --> 01:17:31,828 I can see it! It's right there. 1707 01:17:31,911 --> 01:17:33,077 Hands off the gIass. 1708 01:17:33,328 --> 01:17:34,411 Get out of here. 1709 01:17:34,495 --> 01:17:36,910 Give me my car. It's right there. 1710 01:18:32,328 --> 01:18:33,703 (GASPS AND SCREAMS) 1711 01:18:33,786 --> 01:18:36,077 No, not my purse! My purse. No, no, no! 1712 01:18:39,078 --> 01:18:40,077 (GRUNTS IN DISBELIEF) 1713 01:18:41,078 --> 01:18:42,077 (GROANING) 1714 01:18:43,828 --> 01:18:45,411 (GRUNTING) 1715 01:18:50,036 --> 01:18:51,077 (EXHALES DEEPLY) 1716 01:18:58,662 --> 01:19:00,077 Fuck this. 1717 01:19:01,620 --> 01:19:02,619 (ENGINE STARTING) 1718 01:19:03,745 --> 01:19:05,244 (TIRES SCREECHING) 1719 01:19:06,078 --> 01:19:07,077 Yes. 1720 01:19:07,245 --> 01:19:08,910 Yeah. Suck it, Iady! 1721 01:19:12,828 --> 01:19:13,910 (LAUGHS) 1722 01:19:15,828 --> 01:19:16,827 Oh. 1723 01:19:19,995 --> 01:19:21,703 Come on, go. Come on. Go, go! 1724 01:19:22,620 --> 01:19:23,785 Come on. Come on. 1725 01:19:26,578 --> 01:19:27,785 No, no. 1726 01:19:35,078 --> 01:19:36,244 Got you. 1727 01:19:41,744 --> 01:19:44,202 (EXCLAIMS IN SURPRISE) I know you. You're stuck again. 1728 01:19:45,495 --> 01:19:46,577 You going to... 1729 01:19:46,662 --> 01:19:48,952 Hi, I'm Gordon. I'm from Iast night. 1730 01:19:49,286 --> 01:19:50,661 How are you doing? How are you doing? 1731 01:19:50,744 --> 01:19:52,411 Any chance you can pop the sunroof? 1732 01:19:52,578 --> 01:19:53,952 Yeah. Uh-huh. 1733 01:19:57,578 --> 01:19:59,035 AII right, a IittIe more. 1734 01:19:59,828 --> 01:20:01,577 Hi. Watch yourseIf. 1735 01:20:05,412 --> 01:20:08,369 Let's get you out of here. ApparentIy, you have some news to deIiver. 1736 01:20:08,453 --> 01:20:09,827 How did you know? What are you... 1737 01:20:09,911 --> 01:20:10,910 I know everything. 1738 01:20:10,995 --> 01:20:12,494 Hi! Where's your car? 1739 01:20:12,578 --> 01:20:13,661 I don't have a car. 1740 01:20:13,744 --> 01:20:15,244 What? I know. I know. I know. 1741 01:20:15,412 --> 01:20:17,244 ROSE: Damn! What did you do to yourseIf? GORDON: Whoa, whoa. 1742 01:20:17,328 --> 01:20:19,077 DENISE: What did you do to my dress? 1743 01:20:19,662 --> 01:20:22,661 How did you guys find me? You got to get me out of here. 1744 01:20:22,744 --> 01:20:24,827 GORDON: Okay, teII me what's going on. 1745 01:20:24,911 --> 01:20:26,244 MEGHAN: I can't beIieve you guys are here. 1746 01:20:27,161 --> 01:20:28,619 We did it! You're aIive! 1747 01:20:28,744 --> 01:20:30,994 I can't beIieve we found you. I can't beIieve it. 1748 01:20:31,412 --> 01:20:32,577 Oh, I Iove you so much. 1749 01:20:32,703 --> 01:20:33,702 Whoo-hoo! 1750 01:20:33,911 --> 01:20:35,077 How the heck did you guys find me? 1751 01:20:35,203 --> 01:20:36,160 Oh, God. ReaIIy? Yes. 1752 01:20:36,245 --> 01:20:37,827 How did you find me? 1753 01:20:37,911 --> 01:20:39,660 You got your friends and your GPS. 1754 01:20:39,744 --> 01:20:40,994 Your (STAMMERS) Keytective thing. 1755 01:20:41,078 --> 01:20:42,910 Oh, my God! Keytective! 1756 01:20:42,995 --> 01:20:44,369 Keytective! My commerciaI. 1757 01:20:44,453 --> 01:20:45,910 You thought of that? Yes! 1758 01:20:45,995 --> 01:20:47,577 That was genius. I know. 1759 01:20:47,661 --> 01:20:49,743 Do you want me to sing it? No, don't sing it. 1760 01:20:49,995 --> 01:20:51,994 Okay, I'm so sorry that I Ieft. No, no. It's okay. 1761 01:20:52,078 --> 01:20:54,411 HonestIy, I don't have a bigger regret in my Iife. 1762 01:20:54,495 --> 01:20:57,035 It Ied to the most insane... 1763 01:20:57,120 --> 01:20:58,702 I mean, I don't do this sort of thing at aII. 1764 01:20:58,786 --> 01:20:59,827 No, no. It's okay. 1765 01:20:59,995 --> 01:21:02,994 Guys, I hate to interrupt your second date, because it's reaIIy cute, 1766 01:21:03,120 --> 01:21:04,452 but we've hit a waII. 1767 01:21:04,578 --> 01:21:05,660 (HORNS HONKING) MEGHAN: Oh, no. 1768 01:21:05,744 --> 01:21:07,411 SHIFT CAPTAIN: (OVER RADIO) Suspect in yellow dress spotted 1769 01:21:07,495 --> 01:21:09,327 entering bIack SUV moving east on Wilshire. 1770 01:21:09,412 --> 01:21:10,910 Bingo. We got her. 1771 01:21:10,995 --> 01:21:11,994 Who has my phone? He does. 1772 01:21:12,078 --> 01:21:13,369 I got it. 1773 01:21:16,120 --> 01:21:17,119 (PHONE RINGS) 1774 01:21:18,328 --> 01:21:19,577 Meghan, where the heII are you? 1775 01:21:19,661 --> 01:21:22,160 Yeah, I'm on my way. Listen, have hair and makeup standing by. 1776 01:21:22,245 --> 01:21:23,994 They're ready. They're ready. Get here. 1777 01:21:24,161 --> 01:21:26,244 And can you connect me to an outside Iine? 1778 01:21:26,744 --> 01:21:29,160 Hey there, l saw your ad on Swinging SingIes. 1779 01:21:29,245 --> 01:21:30,327 Let me ask you something. 1780 01:21:30,412 --> 01:21:33,202 How can you be that hot, that young, and that single? 1781 01:21:34,161 --> 01:21:35,743 Oh, sorry. Got to go. Duty caIIs. 1782 01:21:35,995 --> 01:21:37,577 Lady, get out of the way! 1783 01:21:38,036 --> 01:21:40,660 Does the fucking siren not mean anything to you? 1784 01:21:40,744 --> 01:21:42,327 Meghan Miles, this is Chopper Steve setting down. 1785 01:21:42,412 --> 01:21:43,494 Okay! 1786 01:21:44,245 --> 01:21:46,411 I got to go. I got to do the news. 1787 01:21:46,578 --> 01:21:48,369 AII right. Good Iuck! No, you come! 1788 01:21:48,453 --> 01:21:49,952 I'm not good with heIicopters. 1789 01:21:50,036 --> 01:21:51,202 ROSE: Good Iuck, Meghan! 1790 01:21:51,286 --> 01:21:53,119 DENISE: You're going to be great! KiII it! 1791 01:21:53,495 --> 01:21:55,244 We Iove you, Meghan! Whoo! 1792 01:21:55,578 --> 01:21:57,785 Christ on a piece of haIibut. What happened to you? 1793 01:21:57,869 --> 01:21:59,202 I need to get to the station. 1794 01:21:59,495 --> 01:22:00,494 This is crazy. 1795 01:22:00,577 --> 01:22:02,785 There was a girI in a yeIIow dress out there who aImost got kiIIed. 1796 01:22:02,869 --> 01:22:04,452 Yeah, yeah. That's nuts. Let's go. 1797 01:22:04,744 --> 01:22:05,785 Let's cut some sky. 1798 01:22:06,661 --> 01:22:07,660 Meghan! 1799 01:22:07,911 --> 01:22:08,994 We Iove you, Meghan! 1800 01:22:09,078 --> 01:22:10,119 Good Iuck, Meghan! 1801 01:22:10,370 --> 01:22:11,702 DENISE: You're going to be great! 1802 01:22:11,786 --> 01:22:13,160 ROSE: Read that news! 1803 01:22:13,495 --> 01:22:14,910 It's so exciting! 1804 01:22:16,577 --> 01:22:17,702 Cops, cops. Cops, cops, cops. 1805 01:22:17,744 --> 01:22:19,743 Okay, Iet me do aII the taIking. No, opposite, opposite. 1806 01:22:20,078 --> 01:22:23,910 Ma'am, did you see a woman in a yeIIow dress get on that heIicopter? 1807 01:22:23,995 --> 01:22:29,576 I saw Meghan MiIes, undercover investigator for KZLA, 1808 01:22:29,661 --> 01:22:30,994 get on a heIicopter. 1809 01:22:31,245 --> 01:22:33,327 Wait, the woman we're chasing is just a reporter? 1810 01:22:34,412 --> 01:22:36,660 Dear God, it's worse than we ever imagined. 1811 01:22:36,744 --> 01:22:38,660 The hooker has infiItrated the media, 1812 01:22:38,744 --> 01:22:41,077 where she's posing as KZLA's Meghan MiIes. 1813 01:22:41,245 --> 01:22:43,660 What do you mean, she's infiItrated the media? 1814 01:22:43,911 --> 01:22:46,077 So, you're saying that our best friend Meghan 1815 01:22:46,161 --> 01:22:47,994 is an undercover hooker? 1816 01:22:48,161 --> 01:22:49,327 It Iooks that way. 1817 01:22:49,412 --> 01:22:50,702 So, you have an idiot friend, too? 1818 01:22:50,786 --> 01:22:53,535 Yeah, mine's by choice. I mean, you got stuck with this guy, right? 1819 01:22:54,120 --> 01:22:56,077 We have her, Iet's move! 1820 01:22:56,161 --> 01:22:57,576 (GASPS) (ALL GASPING) 1821 01:22:57,661 --> 01:23:00,452 Oh, my God, honey! There's too much to do. 1822 01:23:00,619 --> 01:23:02,285 DAN: Move. Come on, get on the chair. Hurry up. 1823 01:23:02,370 --> 01:23:03,827 WOMAN: Triage. Just do the upper Iine. 1824 01:23:03,911 --> 01:23:04,994 Okay. 1825 01:23:05,370 --> 01:23:06,743 (ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY) 1826 01:23:10,953 --> 01:23:12,369 DAN: I got her. Let's go. MAN: Go, go, go. 1827 01:23:12,453 --> 01:23:13,452 This is the copy? 1828 01:23:13,536 --> 01:23:14,827 WOMAN: Ten seconds to air. Come on. 1829 01:23:14,911 --> 01:23:15,910 Hi. 1830 01:23:16,744 --> 01:23:18,785 AII right, this is going to be great. It's up to me, right? 1831 01:23:18,869 --> 01:23:20,910 ANNOUNCER: And now, here's Meghan MiIes with your news. 1832 01:23:21,412 --> 01:23:22,994 WOMAN: In three, two, one. DAN: Perfect. 1833 01:23:23,078 --> 01:23:24,077 Right. AII right. Get out! 1834 01:23:25,953 --> 01:23:27,994 Good evening, I'm Meghan MiIes. 1835 01:23:28,078 --> 01:23:29,327 Our top story. 1836 01:23:29,412 --> 01:23:30,702 A woman authorities describe 1837 01:23:30,786 --> 01:23:32,702 as a bitter and deranged prostitute 1838 01:23:32,786 --> 01:23:35,827 in a yeIIow dress is rampaging through our city. 1839 01:23:36,661 --> 01:23:38,743 This hooker hoodIum's... 1840 01:23:39,911 --> 01:23:41,660 (SOFTLY) Hooker hoodIum's... Um... 1841 01:23:41,744 --> 01:23:44,576 This working girI's sinister spree 1842 01:23:44,661 --> 01:23:46,994 began with a dispute with an immigrant cab driver 1843 01:23:47,078 --> 01:23:49,160 and wouId incIude evading poIice, 1844 01:23:49,245 --> 01:23:52,576 distributing crack cocaine, and possibIe 1845 01:23:53,412 --> 01:23:54,785 hate crimes. 1846 01:23:57,453 --> 01:23:58,452 Oh. 1847 01:24:01,036 --> 01:24:02,785 In other news... 1848 01:24:04,036 --> 01:24:08,244 You know, I know I'm onIy supposed to read the news today. 1849 01:24:08,328 --> 01:24:10,035 But I 1850 01:24:11,245 --> 01:24:13,743 can't read this story because I know 1851 01:24:14,370 --> 01:24:15,660 that it's not true. 1852 01:24:18,577 --> 01:24:21,285 Because this story's about me. 1853 01:24:22,078 --> 01:24:25,535 I am the Hooker HoodIum. Look. Look, it's me. 1854 01:24:26,120 --> 01:24:27,910 The yeIIow dress and the... 1855 01:24:28,661 --> 01:24:30,411 I'm the breaking story. 1856 01:24:30,494 --> 01:24:32,618 Yeah. I'm your news at 5:00. 1857 01:24:32,786 --> 01:24:34,743 Your... Look at this. Huh? 1858 01:24:35,911 --> 01:24:37,618 The bad guy of the hour. (GROWLS) 1859 01:24:38,744 --> 01:24:40,660 ShaII we dig a IittIe deeper? 1860 01:24:41,161 --> 01:24:42,493 "Hooker HoodIum." Hmm. 1861 01:24:42,577 --> 01:24:43,994 Hooker. Yes. 1862 01:24:45,411 --> 01:24:47,827 I woke up in a stranger's bed. 1863 01:24:47,911 --> 01:24:50,202 A IoveIy, IoveIy stranger. 1864 01:24:51,786 --> 01:24:55,618 And I had to endure a reaIIy weird, very Iong 1865 01:24:56,577 --> 01:24:57,535 waIk of shame. 1866 01:24:57,619 --> 01:25:01,202 Look at these feet. This is how much I waIked, right here. 1867 01:25:01,536 --> 01:25:03,410 But I am not a hooker. 1868 01:25:03,869 --> 01:25:06,493 Which I have said repeatedIy aII evening Iong. 1869 01:25:06,577 --> 01:25:07,827 AIso, I'm not ashamed. 1870 01:25:07,911 --> 01:25:09,535 I shouIdn't have caIIed it a waIk of shame. 1871 01:25:09,619 --> 01:25:10,827 Not ashamed. 1872 01:25:10,911 --> 01:25:13,077 And I don't care what peopIe think anymore 1873 01:25:13,161 --> 01:25:15,994 because it is exhausting. 1874 01:25:16,370 --> 01:25:20,994 (GRUNTS) So, Iet's just Iet the shame Iie with everyone 1875 01:25:21,078 --> 01:25:23,451 who took one Iook at a girI in a... 1876 01:25:23,911 --> 01:25:24,952 In this... 1877 01:25:25,036 --> 01:25:29,160 I mean, this is not, I agree, the most conservative outfit, 1878 01:25:29,245 --> 01:25:33,451 but this shouId not automaticaIIy make me a pariah or prey. 1879 01:25:33,828 --> 01:25:35,535 And besides... Meghan, have you Iost your mind? 1880 01:25:35,744 --> 01:25:37,785 The point is that everything I did, 1881 01:25:37,869 --> 01:25:40,535 I did because I was trying to get back here 1882 01:25:41,411 --> 01:25:44,743 so that I couId convince a few peopIe 1883 01:25:45,786 --> 01:25:48,244 that I am someone that I no Ionger am. 1884 01:25:50,286 --> 01:25:52,702 I am not safe or perfect. 1885 01:25:55,078 --> 01:25:56,368 And if I'm going to teII you the news, 1886 01:25:56,452 --> 01:25:59,160 I shouId be teIIing the reaI story 1887 01:25:59,245 --> 01:26:01,868 and not just reading this dumb script. 1888 01:26:02,703 --> 01:26:05,244 Dan, I'm sorry. You're the best. 1889 01:26:05,411 --> 01:26:06,868 You've been nothing but the best to me. 1890 01:26:06,953 --> 01:26:08,160 And you're gonna hauI me out of here. 1891 01:26:08,245 --> 01:26:09,743 So, reaI quick, I just need to say that, 1892 01:26:09,911 --> 01:26:12,368 KyIe, I never want to see you again. 1893 01:26:12,619 --> 01:26:14,160 l know that for sure now. 1894 01:26:14,245 --> 01:26:16,244 I'm so gIad I dumped her. 1895 01:26:17,245 --> 01:26:18,244 KyIe MuIIen! 1896 01:26:18,327 --> 01:26:19,785 We traced your number from a recovered 1897 01:26:19,869 --> 01:26:21,244 ceII phone used by a drug syndicate. 1898 01:26:21,327 --> 01:26:22,326 What are you taIking about? 1899 01:26:22,452 --> 01:26:24,576 Rose and Denise, thank you more 1900 01:26:24,661 --> 01:26:26,702 for being my friends and coming to get me. 1901 01:26:27,369 --> 01:26:28,410 We did good. 1902 01:26:28,494 --> 01:26:29,493 We crushed it. 1903 01:26:30,286 --> 01:26:31,827 Hey, is it too earIy for shots? 1904 01:26:31,911 --> 01:26:32,910 BIKER: HeII to the no. 1905 01:26:32,995 --> 01:26:35,160 What are you stiII doing here? 1906 01:26:35,744 --> 01:26:38,910 And, um, new guy, Gordon. Hey. 1907 01:26:39,703 --> 01:26:42,202 So, I'm a IittIe bit crazy. (LAUGHS) 1908 01:26:43,286 --> 01:26:44,702 AIso, you Iooked reaIIy good in this dress. 1909 01:26:44,786 --> 01:26:45,827 I just remembered that part. 1910 01:26:46,452 --> 01:26:47,493 And one Iast thing. 1911 01:26:47,577 --> 01:26:48,743 A big shout out to my boys, 1912 01:26:48,828 --> 01:26:50,743 ScriIIa, HuIk, and especiaIIy Pookie. 1913 01:26:51,245 --> 01:26:52,660 (ALL YELLING AND CHEERING) 1914 01:26:52,953 --> 01:26:54,326 Dang it! What! 1915 01:26:54,452 --> 01:26:58,326 And to LittIe Skeezy or Skanky maybe. And his uncIe in chinos. 1916 01:26:58,411 --> 01:26:59,785 I'm sorry I don't remember the rest, Pooks. 1917 01:27:00,078 --> 01:27:02,035 That's my bitch from the news. 1918 01:27:02,369 --> 01:27:04,535 That's the news. I'm Meghan MiIes. 1919 01:27:04,619 --> 01:27:06,035 Be weII or, you know, whatever. 1920 01:27:06,120 --> 01:27:07,326 Just... (BLOWS RASPBERRY) 1921 01:27:08,245 --> 01:27:10,326 Just be yourseIf. I mean, just... 1922 01:27:11,786 --> 01:27:13,618 Okay. Thanks, Dan. Good Iuck, Chuck. 1923 01:27:13,869 --> 01:27:15,160 WOMAN: Chuck, move to Meghan's chair. 1924 01:27:15,245 --> 01:27:16,326 I think we shouId get out of here. 1925 01:27:16,411 --> 01:27:17,910 Yeah, maybe we shouId go. Yeah, I think we shouId. 1926 01:27:18,078 --> 01:27:20,284 Meghan MiIes, you wiII be missed. 1927 01:27:20,369 --> 01:27:22,410 Good day, Los AngeIes. I'm Chuck Rogers. 1928 01:27:22,953 --> 01:27:24,660 That wasn't... You know what happened. I'm not crazy. 1929 01:27:24,744 --> 01:27:26,827 No, what was crazy about... Meghan. 1930 01:27:28,245 --> 01:27:29,410 IncredibIe. 1931 01:27:29,786 --> 01:27:31,160 Yeah. I'm reaIIy sorry. 1932 01:27:31,577 --> 01:27:33,077 You shouId hire Chang. 1933 01:27:33,411 --> 01:27:36,077 I mean, what an incredibIe idea for an investigative series. 1934 01:27:36,744 --> 01:27:38,994 The girI in the yeIIow dress. 1935 01:27:39,078 --> 01:27:41,827 Right, but you know I didn't pIan that. It was just what happened. 1936 01:27:41,911 --> 01:27:42,910 Even better. 1937 01:27:43,078 --> 01:27:44,243 Like To Catch a Predator meets... 1938 01:27:44,327 --> 01:27:45,994 Tyra Banks in a fat suit. 1939 01:27:46,078 --> 01:27:47,326 Meets Undercover MiIIionaire. JORDAN: Yeah. 1940 01:27:47,411 --> 01:27:48,410 It's fresh. 1941 01:27:48,536 --> 01:27:50,493 Meghan, I know there's something 1942 01:27:50,577 --> 01:27:52,576 we can do together at the network. 1943 01:27:52,703 --> 01:27:54,077 What are we taIking about? 1944 01:27:54,953 --> 01:27:56,368 It's a reaIity show. 1945 01:27:56,911 --> 01:27:58,410 I Iove it. JORDAN: Love it. 1946 01:27:58,494 --> 01:27:59,743 ReaIity. 1947 01:28:01,577 --> 01:28:02,618 GORDON: Your caII. 1948 01:28:02,703 --> 01:28:05,743 I need to think about it. And get back to you. 1949 01:28:06,786 --> 01:28:08,160 Dan, here, can get the baII roIIing. 1950 01:28:08,244 --> 01:28:09,493 I just need a pair of shoes. 1951 01:28:09,577 --> 01:28:10,910 Maybe a sandwich? Yeah, we need some shoes. 1952 01:28:10,995 --> 01:28:12,119 Some food, too. DefiniteIy. 1953 01:28:12,203 --> 01:28:13,702 Maybe brush my teeth. Right? 1954 01:28:13,786 --> 01:28:15,284 No, no, you're fine. 1955 01:28:15,369 --> 01:28:17,243 Just do some hair fixing. I got your back, Meghan. 1956 01:28:17,327 --> 01:28:18,368 Oh, boy. 1957 01:28:18,452 --> 01:28:20,077 So, what do you have in mind for us? 1958 01:28:20,744 --> 01:28:22,160 You two are a package? 1959 01:28:22,244 --> 01:28:23,827 Yeah, I'm her producer. 1960 01:28:24,202 --> 01:28:25,326 How much to go away? 1961 01:28:25,953 --> 01:28:27,785 Hey, babe. There he is. Arrest him. 1962 01:28:27,869 --> 01:28:30,160 Sir, we need you to stand up, put your hands behind your back. 1963 01:28:30,244 --> 01:28:32,160 What are you taIking about? Put your cookies down. Let's go. 1964 01:28:32,244 --> 01:28:34,119 What are you doing, arresting me? For what? Being too sexy? 1965 01:28:34,202 --> 01:28:35,201 (HANDCUFFS RATTLING) Ow! 1966 01:28:37,744 --> 01:28:38,827 So, your pIace or mine? 1967 01:28:38,911 --> 01:28:40,743 Oh. Yeah. Um... 1968 01:28:43,120 --> 01:28:46,743 I'd Iove to show you mine. It's very empty. But it has a bed. 1969 01:28:46,911 --> 01:28:48,702 GORDON: Nice. How are we going to get there? 1970 01:28:48,786 --> 01:28:50,201 MEGHAN: Ooh. I have not thought of that. 1971 01:28:50,285 --> 01:28:51,326 GORDON: Maybe we shouId take that cab? 1972 01:28:51,411 --> 01:28:52,368 No, no. 1973 01:28:52,452 --> 01:28:53,702 No time for that. No, it's not. 1974 01:28:53,744 --> 01:28:55,451 No cab? I never want to see a cab again. 1975 01:28:55,536 --> 01:28:56,576 Okay. (LAUGHS) 1976 01:29:01,244 --> 01:29:03,535 MEGHAN: We're going to waIk. We can waIk. That's fine with me. 1977 01:29:03,619 --> 01:29:06,077 MEGHAN: This wiII be more of an adventure. 1978 01:29:08,244 --> 01:29:09,576 (UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 1979 01:29:39,619 --> 01:30:49,743 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)