1 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:20,759 In old country of Schlupsk, I am ditch digger. 2 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,498 It is not always great. 3 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:51,078 Life is difficult. 4 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:55,856 But then one day, Hashem gives me a miracle. 5 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,948 Her name is Sarah. 6 00:02:04,641 --> 00:02:07,628 She is strong and she has all her teeth. 7 00:02:07,714 --> 00:02:09,576 Top and bottom. 8 00:02:10,485 --> 00:02:12,909 I decide at once to woo her. 9 00:02:24,208 --> 00:02:28,234 Wooing fails, but I am determined to win her. 10 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:35,084 Every day, I dig twice the ditch. 11 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,419 It is greatest summer of my life. 12 00:03:12,586 --> 00:03:14,213 We have so much in common. 13 00:03:14,505 --> 00:03:17,800 Her favorite color black, my favorite color black. 14 00:03:17,883 --> 00:03:21,804 Her parents murdered by Cossacks, my parents murdered by Cossacks. 15 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:25,433 I notice nice little thing about her. 16 00:03:25,933 --> 00:03:28,895 She always sneeze same way, four time. 17 00:03:31,981 --> 00:03:33,358 Is adorable! 18 00:03:36,444 --> 00:03:41,699 Sometimes, when we want to be alone, we go to very special bog. 19 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:44,966 We tell each other all our hopes and dreams. 20 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:06,903 We have wedding in front of whole town. 21 00:05:08,288 --> 00:05:10,345 Hashem blesses us. 22 00:05:11,268 --> 00:05:12,318 For a bit. 23 00:05:17,186 --> 00:05:19,201 We are attacked by Cossacks. 24 00:05:19,285 --> 00:05:24,154 Bloodthirsty, Jew-hungry, Russian maniacs drunk from vodka. 25 00:05:24,238 --> 00:05:25,665 Jew! 26 00:05:28,351 --> 00:05:31,625 The Cossacks destroy our whole world. 27 00:05:33,639 --> 00:05:34,689 But... 28 00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:38,676 We are the Greenbaums. 29 00:05:38,886 --> 00:05:40,229 We are strong. 30 00:05:40,313 --> 00:05:43,629 And together there is no stopping us. 31 00:05:43,754 --> 00:05:48,497 We keep fighting till we have American dream. 32 00:05:48,875 --> 00:05:50,848 All right, let's get these dumb Polacks outta here. 33 00:05:52,568 --> 00:05:55,968 Compared to Cossacks, Americans very kind. 34 00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:58,654 All right. This way, you filthy Jews. Let's go. 35 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:02,279 I find good job in pickle factory. 36 00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:04,608 A good Jewish business. 37 00:06:05,024 --> 00:06:07,479 The foreman will not let me mix salt. 38 00:06:07,687 --> 00:06:09,559 Or sort cucumber. 39 00:06:09,767 --> 00:06:12,346 But he says, I can chase rats with club 40 00:06:12,513 --> 00:06:15,924 and he will pay nickel for every ten Herschel smash. 41 00:06:19,793 --> 00:06:21,624 It is not dream job. 42 00:06:22,123 --> 00:06:25,701 But I am grateful for chance to prove my worth. 43 00:06:25,784 --> 00:06:28,405 Get your seltzer water here! Just one bright, shiny nickel. 44 00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:30,443 Some things still out of reach. 45 00:06:30,568 --> 00:06:32,024 Seltzer water. Get your seltzer water! 46 00:06:32,357 --> 00:06:33,772 Yeah, you, sir. Seltzer water today? 47 00:06:34,146 --> 00:06:36,018 It's only one bright, shiny nickel for the men. 48 00:06:36,101 --> 00:06:37,849 It's only one bright, shiny nickel for the ladies. 49 00:06:40,345 --> 00:06:44,089 But over time we work and save. 50 00:06:45,296 --> 00:06:47,251 I grant Sarah's wish. 51 00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:51,078 A beautiful Greenbaum family plot, 52 00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:52,410 for us to share. 53 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:54,438 Forever. 54 00:06:57,286 --> 00:07:01,001 Then Hashem gives us biggest miracle of all. 55 00:07:03,353 --> 00:07:05,252 So one night to Sarah 56 00:07:05,706 --> 00:07:07,027 I make this vow. 57 00:07:08,058 --> 00:07:10,865 Our child will be strong. 58 00:07:12,227 --> 00:07:15,323 And our child's child will be strong. 59 00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:19,120 Our family will prosper. 60 00:07:19,615 --> 00:07:22,050 And in 100 years 61 00:07:22,752 --> 00:07:25,724 the Greenbaums will be powerful. 62 00:07:26,384 --> 00:07:27,870 Successful. 63 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:30,461 The strongest in the land. 64 00:07:36,490 --> 00:07:38,374 And then one day 65 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,635 everything changed. 66 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,046 Attention! 67 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:17,290 This factory has been condemned. 68 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,139 - Damn it. - Shit. 69 00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:10,717 Dude, we're never gonna find this, bro. 70 00:09:10,802 --> 00:09:12,616 No, it's definitely this way. 71 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,299 Whoa. 72 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:58,122 Please! Settle down. 73 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:02,452 Essentially, the pickle brine preserved him perfectly. 74 00:10:02,619 --> 00:10:06,621 It's been 100 years, but he hasn't aged a day. 75 00:10:06,705 --> 00:10:08,289 - That's impossible. - You don't honestly expect us 76 00:10:08,372 --> 00:10:09,415 to buy that, do you? 77 00:10:09,498 --> 00:10:10,874 What's the science behind it? 78 00:10:10,957 --> 00:10:12,750 Please, let me explain. 79 00:10:13,375 --> 00:10:15,335 The scientist explains. 80 00:10:15,418 --> 00:10:17,252 His logic is good. 81 00:10:17,377 --> 00:10:19,712 It satisfies everyone. 82 00:10:19,795 --> 00:10:21,088 - Oh, yes. - It makes sense. 83 00:10:21,171 --> 00:10:22,630 - Absolutely. - Very clear. 84 00:10:22,714 --> 00:10:24,048 But... 85 00:10:24,256 --> 00:10:25,966 I'm very sad. 86 00:10:26,257 --> 00:10:28,050 The world has changed. 87 00:10:28,801 --> 00:10:31,927 Everything I know is gone. And... 88 00:10:33,512 --> 00:10:34,554 Everyone... 89 00:10:35,096 --> 00:10:36,638 I'm so sorry, Herschel. 90 00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:40,891 You will check again. 91 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,475 We already checked the city records twice. 92 00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:45,810 She wasn't brined. 93 00:10:45,893 --> 00:10:47,603 She's been dead for 80 years. 94 00:10:47,686 --> 00:10:48,895 You will check again. 95 00:10:48,979 --> 00:10:50,396 We already checked. 96 00:10:52,105 --> 00:10:53,148 Hold him down! 97 00:10:55,315 --> 00:10:57,108 My Sarah is gone. 98 00:10:57,191 --> 00:10:59,443 Our child is gone. 99 00:11:00,235 --> 00:11:01,694 I have nothing. 100 00:11:03,362 --> 00:11:06,655 Then I get some great news. 101 00:11:06,780 --> 00:11:08,281 Great news, Herschel. 102 00:11:08,364 --> 00:11:10,032 It took a little bit of doing 103 00:11:10,115 --> 00:11:12,825 but we were able to track down a living relative. 104 00:11:13,117 --> 00:11:14,535 I have family? 105 00:11:14,785 --> 00:11:15,827 Yes. 106 00:11:15,910 --> 00:11:17,953 A great-grandson. 107 00:11:18,287 --> 00:11:20,913 And, as luck would have it, he lives right here in Brooklyn 108 00:11:20,997 --> 00:11:23,581 and he's exactly the same age as you. 109 00:11:23,665 --> 00:11:26,708 His name is Ben Greenbaum. 110 00:11:27,292 --> 00:11:28,751 And we're contacting him right now. 111 00:11:29,835 --> 00:11:30,877 Thank you. 112 00:11:33,670 --> 00:11:37,464 I am so excited, I forget all my misery. 113 00:11:37,756 --> 00:11:42,884 Even though I have not met this Ben, I can see him in my mind. 114 00:11:43,593 --> 00:11:47,386 He will be just like how I vowed to Sarah 115 00:11:47,845 --> 00:11:50,221 powerful, successful... 116 00:11:50,430 --> 00:11:53,098 The strongest in the land. 117 00:12:03,062 --> 00:12:05,021 Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me. 118 00:12:07,273 --> 00:12:08,315 Greenbaum. 119 00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:14,944 Yeah. 120 00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:19,279 Greenbaum! 121 00:12:22,073 --> 00:12:23,115 Greenbaum! 122 00:12:24,365 --> 00:12:25,408 Greenbaum! 123 00:12:26,075 --> 00:12:28,076 - Greenbaum! - Greenbaum! 124 00:12:28,701 --> 00:12:29,743 Greenbaum! 125 00:12:31,161 --> 00:12:32,578 All right! 126 00:12:36,372 --> 00:12:38,665 It must be so crazy for you. 127 00:12:39,541 --> 00:12:40,708 Very crazy. 128 00:12:41,042 --> 00:12:42,667 Crazy for me, too, man. 129 00:12:43,209 --> 00:12:44,252 Are you allowed to leave? 130 00:12:44,335 --> 00:12:46,545 Do you wanna come back to my apartment? 131 00:12:46,628 --> 00:12:49,254 - Very much. - All right. Let's go. 132 00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:56,884 Yeah, I got him. I'm his great-grandson. 133 00:12:56,967 --> 00:13:00,094 So he's gonna stay with me for a bit. Yeah. Thank you. 134 00:13:06,181 --> 00:13:07,348 Take it in. 135 00:13:17,562 --> 00:13:18,604 Cool, huh? 136 00:13:20,189 --> 00:13:21,231 Make way. 137 00:13:22,481 --> 00:13:23,941 It's a scooter. 138 00:13:24,483 --> 00:13:26,776 They're actually pretty fun. 139 00:13:27,359 --> 00:13:30,236 Anyway, I can't wait to show you, like, the future. 140 00:13:30,319 --> 00:13:32,779 There's so much cool shit, man. You're gonna love it. 141 00:13:38,324 --> 00:13:40,283 It's cool, man. It's a cab. 142 00:13:40,367 --> 00:13:43,327 It's gonna take us back to my apartment, Hop in. 143 00:13:49,497 --> 00:13:50,706 It's all right. 144 00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:55,083 Oh, yeah, crawl in. There you go. You got it. 145 00:13:57,293 --> 00:13:59,169 We're going to Brooklyn, please. Thank you. 146 00:14:07,423 --> 00:14:10,008 Here we are, man. Home, sweet home. 147 00:14:10,592 --> 00:14:11,676 Hey, check this out. 148 00:14:11,801 --> 00:14:13,302 Alexa, lights. 149 00:14:13,594 --> 00:14:14,969 Pretty cool, huh? 150 00:14:16,220 --> 00:14:17,387 All this yours? 151 00:14:17,888 --> 00:14:20,431 Yeah. I mean, I don't own it or anything like that. 152 00:14:20,514 --> 00:14:23,057 I do live here by myself. I work from home though, a lot. 153 00:14:23,141 --> 00:14:25,058 It would be nice, honestly, to have someone around. 154 00:14:25,142 --> 00:14:27,018 So you can stay here as long as you want. 155 00:14:27,101 --> 00:14:29,102 I do not want to be burden to you. 156 00:14:30,353 --> 00:14:34,230 It's not a burden, Herschel. At all. I mean... 157 00:14:34,314 --> 00:14:35,773 I'm amazed you're alive. 158 00:14:36,773 --> 00:14:39,983 I really never thought I would get a chance 159 00:14:40,067 --> 00:14:42,026 to meet another Greenbaum. So... 160 00:14:43,110 --> 00:14:44,152 Neither did I. 161 00:14:46,654 --> 00:14:48,280 You must be thirsty. 162 00:14:48,363 --> 00:14:51,323 I mean, you were brined for, like, a century. 163 00:14:51,406 --> 00:14:53,074 And there's salt in brine, right? 164 00:14:53,157 --> 00:14:55,784 So you must be pretty parched, to say the least. 165 00:14:56,159 --> 00:14:57,952 Can I get you something to drink? 166 00:14:58,035 --> 00:15:01,079 Macadamia milk? Or there's cashew milk. 167 00:15:01,162 --> 00:15:03,580 I got pea milk. They're milking peas now. 168 00:15:03,663 --> 00:15:05,456 They're milking everything these days, dude. 169 00:15:05,539 --> 00:15:07,582 You name it, they're milking it. 170 00:15:07,832 --> 00:15:11,126 I got mint tea. I have kombucha. 171 00:15:12,043 --> 00:15:13,752 - Kombucha? - Yeah. 172 00:15:13,836 --> 00:15:17,630 It's fermented... stuff. Honestly, I don't even know. 173 00:15:17,838 --> 00:15:20,089 Tastes nasty. But it's very healthy. 174 00:15:20,173 --> 00:15:21,757 - Would you like some? - Is fine. 175 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:25,426 They inject drink into my arm in hospital. 176 00:15:25,968 --> 00:15:27,802 - I am fine. - Fair enough. 177 00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:30,470 There must be something I can get you. 178 00:15:30,595 --> 00:15:32,304 Would you like some seltzer? 179 00:15:35,348 --> 00:15:37,557 You have seltzer. 180 00:15:37,641 --> 00:15:39,725 Oh, I got seltzer for days, son. 181 00:15:39,809 --> 00:15:42,769 I got a whole seltzer machine. It's pretty cool, actually. 182 00:15:44,103 --> 00:15:46,437 Ya just fill this up there. 183 00:15:48,230 --> 00:15:50,648 That's it. You put in the cartridge. 184 00:15:50,898 --> 00:15:51,940 Cartridge. 185 00:15:52,566 --> 00:15:55,567 And you just press that button. Makes you seltzer. 186 00:15:55,651 --> 00:15:57,402 - Press button. - Exactly 187 00:15:57,569 --> 00:15:58,611 You wanna press it? 188 00:16:01,029 --> 00:16:03,364 You'll let me press seltzer button? 189 00:16:03,447 --> 00:16:05,615 Yeah. It's a pretty big deal, but we're family. 190 00:16:05,740 --> 00:16:07,366 So you can press the seltzer button. 191 00:16:07,449 --> 00:16:08,825 Knock yourself out. 192 00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:13,286 Yeah! 193 00:16:14,328 --> 00:16:16,579 There you go. You're seltzering. 194 00:16:16,704 --> 00:16:17,913 Pretty cool, huh? 195 00:16:17,997 --> 00:16:20,456 - The bubble. - So many bubbles. 196 00:16:20,873 --> 00:16:21,916 Well... 197 00:16:23,458 --> 00:16:26,043 One for you. And one for me. 198 00:16:33,005 --> 00:16:36,340 - Cheers. - L'chaim. 199 00:16:40,259 --> 00:16:41,427 Ooh! 200 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:45,804 Yeah. 201 00:16:49,431 --> 00:16:50,515 Crazy. 202 00:16:50,598 --> 00:16:52,516 This must be very overwhelming for you. 203 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:54,059 It's a lot. It's a little much. 204 00:16:54,142 --> 00:16:56,018 But I think you'll find there's actually, like 205 00:16:56,102 --> 00:16:57,894 some pretty cool stuff about the future. 206 00:16:59,228 --> 00:17:01,271 Oh, yeah. Exactly. Not just that. 207 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:03,481 Uh, I know what else you might like. 208 00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:05,565 You like music, right? 209 00:17:05,690 --> 00:17:07,608 - Yes. - Watch this. 210 00:17:07,691 --> 00:17:09,401 Alexa, play... 211 00:17:09,734 --> 00:17:11,110 oldies. 212 00:17:11,527 --> 00:17:13,987 Here's a station for you. Oldies. 213 00:17:28,536 --> 00:17:29,579 Pretty cool, huh? 214 00:17:30,371 --> 00:17:32,997 It's a... It's a stereo 215 00:17:33,081 --> 00:17:35,207 and it plays music from the Internet. 216 00:17:35,332 --> 00:17:36,833 It comes through these speakers. 217 00:17:39,042 --> 00:17:40,501 Pretty good, huh? 218 00:17:41,710 --> 00:17:42,878 It's a good song. 219 00:17:42,961 --> 00:17:44,462 Here, check it. 220 00:17:48,506 --> 00:17:50,257 It's you. It's you singing. 221 00:17:51,091 --> 00:17:53,550 No, I'm lip-synching. Get in there. 222 00:17:53,634 --> 00:17:54,801 - Get in there, man. - It's okay. 223 00:17:54,926 --> 00:17:56,427 - It's okay. - Get in there. 224 00:17:59,929 --> 00:18:01,180 I watch you dance. 225 00:18:03,890 --> 00:18:06,141 I'm a very good dancer for my time. 226 00:18:08,934 --> 00:18:10,310 Come on. Get in there. 227 00:18:11,519 --> 00:18:13,728 Come on. Get in there. I know you want to. 228 00:18:16,772 --> 00:18:17,814 Yeah. 229 00:18:18,648 --> 00:18:20,524 Oh, there you go. 230 00:18:29,737 --> 00:18:32,364 Brooklyn's probably changed a lot since you last saw it 231 00:18:32,447 --> 00:18:35,366 - I would imagine. - Good Pizza, uh? 232 00:18:35,449 --> 00:18:36,866 Hey. 233 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:38,744 They are couple? 234 00:18:38,869 --> 00:18:40,246 Yeah. Interracial couples 235 00:18:40,329 --> 00:18:43,250 totally cool now, in parts of the country. 236 00:18:43,709 --> 00:18:45,378 Yeah, check it out. 237 00:18:45,545 --> 00:18:46,588 Twinsies. 238 00:18:46,671 --> 00:18:49,341 Hey, nice clothes. Is that vintage? 239 00:18:50,802 --> 00:18:52,012 - Good, huh? - Hmm? 240 00:18:52,095 --> 00:18:55,183 Kosher, too. This is a scooter. 241 00:18:55,266 --> 00:18:58,103 You have legs. You do not need this thing. 242 00:18:58,187 --> 00:19:01,065 That is a weirdly inappropriate thing to say. 243 00:19:02,025 --> 00:19:04,987 How many pairs of shoes you own? 244 00:19:05,113 --> 00:19:07,157 Um, like seven, maybe? 245 00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:09,660 Seven. How many sock? 246 00:19:10,537 --> 00:19:12,331 I have like 20, 25 pairs of socks. 247 00:19:15,001 --> 00:19:17,588 Twenty-five socks! Twenty-five. 248 00:19:17,671 --> 00:19:18,798 It's a lot of socks. 249 00:19:24,973 --> 00:19:29,562 Ben Greenbaum. Owner of 25 pair of sock. 250 00:19:29,646 --> 00:19:30,981 It's pretty normal for today. 251 00:19:31,064 --> 00:19:33,067 Tell me, what is it you do for job? 252 00:19:33,192 --> 00:19:34,819 Wait, let me guess. You're a doctor. 253 00:19:34,903 --> 00:19:37,364 - No. - You're a lawyer. 254 00:19:37,823 --> 00:19:40,952 No, close. Freelance mobile app developer. 255 00:19:42,121 --> 00:19:43,164 What? 256 00:19:44,207 --> 00:19:46,752 It's easier if I show you. Here, come on. 257 00:19:47,253 --> 00:19:49,547 You're gonna think it's dope. Which means "good". 258 00:19:50,966 --> 00:19:52,259 Check it out, man. 259 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:53,803 Go. 260 00:19:54,471 --> 00:19:57,725 A magic rectangle. You make this? 261 00:19:58,059 --> 00:20:00,687 No, I didn't invent the iPad. I wish I did, though. 262 00:20:00,771 --> 00:20:03,066 But let me ask you this 263 00:20:03,149 --> 00:20:05,277 before people buy something 264 00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:07,071 what's something they wish they knew? 265 00:20:08,114 --> 00:20:10,033 How long has meat been dead for? 266 00:20:11,076 --> 00:20:12,578 Yeah, that. 267 00:20:12,704 --> 00:20:14,372 Also, they want to know 268 00:20:14,456 --> 00:20:16,959 whether or not the company they're buying from is ethical. 269 00:20:17,335 --> 00:20:18,628 - They do? - Yes. 270 00:20:18,712 --> 00:20:20,339 They do. It's called "conscientious shopping." 271 00:20:20,422 --> 00:20:22,884 It's very popular. My app makes it very easy. 272 00:20:22,967 --> 00:20:24,344 All you do is, you scan a product. 273 00:20:24,469 --> 00:20:26,806 And it tells you whether or not the company is ethical 274 00:20:26,889 --> 00:20:30,811 by analyzing its carbon footprint, its labor policies 275 00:20:30,895 --> 00:20:33,815 and a bunch of other things and it gives you a score. 276 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,317 Check it out. 277 00:20:41,534 --> 00:20:42,577 Ninety-one. 278 00:20:43,203 --> 00:20:45,665 These kale chips are gonna be extra delicious 279 00:20:45,748 --> 00:20:47,375 because I know how ethical they are. 280 00:20:47,542 --> 00:20:48,835 Thanks to Boop Bop. 281 00:20:49,461 --> 00:20:51,339 - Boop Bop? - Boop Bop, yeah. 282 00:20:51,422 --> 00:20:53,342 - It's called Boop Bop. - Why Boop Bop? 283 00:20:53,425 --> 00:20:56,638 Um... You know, it's kinda just like the trend 284 00:20:56,721 --> 00:21:00,309 I guess, these days to give apps, like, silly names. 285 00:21:00,685 --> 00:21:03,564 You know, Venmo, Hulu, Hipmunk and... 286 00:21:06,609 --> 00:21:08,403 You know, you might think it's kinda silly. 287 00:21:08,487 --> 00:21:10,239 But I've been working on it pretty hard 288 00:21:10,323 --> 00:21:12,826 for five years now, basically. 289 00:21:13,744 --> 00:21:16,206 And once I sell this thing, I can finally, you know 290 00:21:16,289 --> 00:21:18,667 start the next chapter, which is exciting. 291 00:21:19,043 --> 00:21:21,671 You work for five years. How come you no sell? 292 00:21:22,005 --> 00:21:24,091 It's just... 293 00:21:24,216 --> 00:21:25,718 not ready yet. 294 00:21:26,011 --> 00:21:28,180 I'm still finalizing some things. 295 00:21:28,264 --> 00:21:30,976 You know, Just really focused on getting it right, you know? 296 00:21:31,059 --> 00:21:32,227 Making it perfect. 297 00:21:32,311 --> 00:21:33,813 I think once it's ready, though 298 00:21:34,355 --> 00:21:35,690 I'll have a pretty easy time selling it. 299 00:21:35,774 --> 00:21:37,609 I went to school with this guy who works in venture capital. 300 00:21:38,277 --> 00:21:40,321 And I'm pretty sure he'd be into it. 301 00:21:40,739 --> 00:21:43,033 He said that they wanna hear the pitch as soon as it's done. 302 00:21:43,117 --> 00:21:45,161 But I'm still kind of noodling with the logo. 303 00:21:45,245 --> 00:21:47,915 I mean, this mustardy one has really been growing on me. 304 00:21:47,998 --> 00:21:49,834 I kinda wish it was mustardier, though. 305 00:21:51,420 --> 00:21:52,463 Is this your father? 306 00:21:52,546 --> 00:21:53,840 No, that's David Bowie. 307 00:21:54,924 --> 00:21:56,260 Is this your mother? 308 00:21:56,343 --> 00:21:57,678 No, that's also David Bowie. 309 00:21:57,762 --> 00:21:59,597 That whole poster's David Bowie. 310 00:22:04,771 --> 00:22:08,276 How come in this whole place you have so many things 311 00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:09,861 but no pictures of family? 312 00:22:10,112 --> 00:22:11,906 I have pictures of my family. 313 00:22:11,989 --> 00:22:13,533 I just haven't really 314 00:22:14,534 --> 00:22:17,580 you know, like, framed them and incorporated them in my... 315 00:22:18,540 --> 00:22:19,791 design. 316 00:22:20,959 --> 00:22:23,254 But I got that stuff right here. 317 00:22:48,747 --> 00:22:49,999 You kept. 318 00:22:50,374 --> 00:22:52,293 Yeah. I kept. 319 00:23:08,774 --> 00:23:09,817 Who is this? 320 00:23:10,693 --> 00:23:11,736 That's... 321 00:23:12,946 --> 00:23:13,989 your son. 322 00:23:14,281 --> 00:23:16,200 It's Mort Greenbaum. 323 00:23:19,622 --> 00:23:20,707 Mort? 324 00:23:26,297 --> 00:23:27,674 Sarah had son. 325 00:23:36,019 --> 00:23:37,604 How was his life? 326 00:23:37,688 --> 00:23:39,231 Was he success? 327 00:23:40,191 --> 00:23:43,904 Yeah. He was a foreman of a brick factory. 328 00:23:44,655 --> 00:23:47,242 - A foreman? - Yeah. 329 00:23:51,248 --> 00:23:53,918 - Who is this? - Uh... 330 00:23:55,420 --> 00:23:56,713 That's Mort's son. 331 00:23:58,007 --> 00:24:00,510 David Greenbaum. Your grandson. 332 00:24:01,762 --> 00:24:03,014 He was also foreman? 333 00:24:04,098 --> 00:24:05,267 He was an accountant. 334 00:24:05,433 --> 00:24:07,144 - Accountant. - Yeah. 335 00:24:08,563 --> 00:24:11,108 - This his wife? - Mm-hmm. 336 00:24:13,444 --> 00:24:16,657 Who is this very shapely young woman here? 337 00:24:18,785 --> 00:24:19,828 That's me. 338 00:24:27,088 --> 00:24:28,464 These are your parents. 339 00:24:30,509 --> 00:24:31,552 Where are they? 340 00:24:33,888 --> 00:24:35,015 They passed away. 341 00:24:36,976 --> 00:24:38,311 I'm very sorry. 342 00:24:38,979 --> 00:24:40,314 Murdered or regular? 343 00:24:40,606 --> 00:24:43,693 - It was a car crash. - So, regular. 344 00:24:44,361 --> 00:24:46,322 You will tell me everything of their death 345 00:24:46,405 --> 00:24:48,909 so I may bear witness to your grief. 346 00:24:48,992 --> 00:24:52,205 How their bodies died, their faces as the life left. 347 00:24:52,705 --> 00:24:55,000 Be very specific. Spare no detail. 348 00:24:55,751 --> 00:24:57,545 We will bond over our pain. 349 00:24:57,670 --> 00:24:58,797 No detail too small. 350 00:24:58,964 --> 00:25:00,591 We don't have to get into that right now. 351 00:25:00,841 --> 00:25:03,220 You wanna get outta here? Let's go to Smorgasburg. 352 00:25:03,345 --> 00:25:06,015 They have jackfruit nachos that are actually really good. 353 00:25:06,182 --> 00:25:07,392 We will go to cemetery now. 354 00:25:07,517 --> 00:25:10,396 Visit Greenbaum family grave, pay our respect to dead. 355 00:25:10,479 --> 00:25:11,522 Actually, I'm not sure... 356 00:25:12,357 --> 00:25:14,193 I don't think the cemetery's open right now. 357 00:25:14,360 --> 00:25:15,945 So we go to cemetery tomorrow. 358 00:25:16,028 --> 00:25:17,572 I think it was maybe supposed to rain. 359 00:25:17,656 --> 00:25:19,325 So I guess weather permitting. 360 00:25:20,159 --> 00:25:22,287 All right. But now we go to shul 361 00:25:22,370 --> 00:25:24,373 we say Mourner's Kaddish, prayer for dead. 362 00:25:24,456 --> 00:25:29,630 Must properly honor memory of Sarah, Mort, your parents. 363 00:25:30,757 --> 00:25:32,426 Yeah, I'm not... 364 00:25:33,051 --> 00:25:35,137 I'm not sure that's something I want to do right now. 365 00:25:35,221 --> 00:25:37,933 But I would be happy to walk you over there. 366 00:25:39,393 --> 00:25:40,436 What is problem? 367 00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:41,646 It's not a problem. 368 00:25:41,771 --> 00:25:46,945 I guess I understand why you're a religious person. 369 00:25:47,028 --> 00:25:49,949 That makes sense for someone from your era. 370 00:25:50,033 --> 00:25:52,494 But I am not... 371 00:25:52,619 --> 00:25:54,163 I'm not very religious. 372 00:25:54,247 --> 00:25:56,374 You do not know Mourner's Kaddish? 373 00:25:59,086 --> 00:26:00,338 Not anymore, no. 374 00:26:01,757 --> 00:26:03,718 How do you grieve for dead parents 375 00:26:03,801 --> 00:26:05,428 if you do not say prayer for dead? 376 00:26:06,179 --> 00:26:07,222 I'm doing okay. 377 00:26:10,602 --> 00:26:12,313 I do not understand. 378 00:26:14,732 --> 00:26:15,984 You were raised Jew. 379 00:26:16,443 --> 00:26:17,528 Yeah. 380 00:26:17,611 --> 00:26:18,738 Are you not still Jew? 381 00:26:19,447 --> 00:26:20,657 Technically. 382 00:26:21,742 --> 00:26:23,786 I also had a Jumanji-themed bar mitzvah. 383 00:26:24,496 --> 00:26:27,041 It's not like I was that religious in the first place. 384 00:26:27,124 --> 00:26:29,794 Also, like, organized religion is very regressive. 385 00:27:08,847 --> 00:27:12,977 Praise Hashem, there is still beautiful Greenbaum plot. 386 00:27:13,144 --> 00:27:15,105 Very special place. Very special. 387 00:27:16,399 --> 00:27:18,151 Tell me, how high is elm tree now? 388 00:27:18,401 --> 00:27:19,528 One hundred feet? 389 00:27:20,029 --> 00:27:21,489 Two hundred feet? 390 00:27:22,323 --> 00:27:25,995 Yeah. Something like that. Probably. I'm not 100 percent sure. 391 00:27:26,078 --> 00:27:27,664 When last time you come? 392 00:27:28,290 --> 00:27:30,835 I don't know, maybe like five years ago, or somethin'. 393 00:27:31,461 --> 00:27:33,255 So been a little while. 394 00:27:34,381 --> 00:27:35,508 Wait. 395 00:27:36,467 --> 00:27:37,594 It's this way. 396 00:27:38,554 --> 00:27:39,638 This way! 397 00:27:54,617 --> 00:27:56,286 Sweet Hashem. 398 00:28:06,508 --> 00:28:08,260 You let them put garbage. 399 00:28:09,595 --> 00:28:14,310 And you let them put huge sign block out sun and kill tree! 400 00:28:14,393 --> 00:28:15,603 Yeah, it's not on our property. 401 00:28:15,812 --> 00:28:17,439 There's nothing we can do about it. 402 00:28:24,616 --> 00:28:25,700 Sarah. 403 00:28:42,056 --> 00:28:43,099 You okay? 404 00:28:49,232 --> 00:28:50,359 We will pray. 405 00:29:17,770 --> 00:29:19,147 Hey, guys! 406 00:29:20,357 --> 00:29:21,901 Sorry, you can't be there. 407 00:29:22,610 --> 00:29:23,653 What? 408 00:29:23,987 --> 00:29:25,531 We're putting up a billboard! 409 00:29:32,916 --> 00:29:33,959 What it say? 410 00:29:34,626 --> 00:29:36,754 It's an ad for vanilla-flavored vodka. 411 00:29:38,966 --> 00:29:40,760 Vanilla-flavored... 412 00:29:42,596 --> 00:29:43,722 ...vodka? 413 00:29:48,270 --> 00:29:50,022 Cossacks. 414 00:29:51,065 --> 00:29:52,108 Cossack! 415 00:29:53,736 --> 00:29:55,363 Hershel, what are you doin', man? 416 00:29:57,741 --> 00:30:00,662 You will take down vanilla vodka... 417 00:30:01,997 --> 00:30:03,499 or I will do violence. 418 00:30:04,417 --> 00:30:05,460 What? 419 00:30:05,543 --> 00:30:09,465 You will take down vanilla vodka... 420 00:30:12,803 --> 00:30:14,513 or I will do violence. 421 00:30:14,597 --> 00:30:16,182 Look, buddy, I don't have time for... 422 00:30:16,808 --> 00:30:18,644 Oh, shit. No! 423 00:30:26,071 --> 00:30:28,032 - Stop! - Yes! 424 00:30:34,874 --> 00:30:36,919 Come on! 425 00:30:37,002 --> 00:30:38,754 Ben! 426 00:30:38,838 --> 00:30:39,881 Come on! 427 00:30:39,964 --> 00:30:42,009 You can never stop the Greenbaums! 428 00:30:42,092 --> 00:30:44,137 You will never stop the Greenbaums! 429 00:30:48,810 --> 00:30:50,687 Your payment's been processed. You're free to go. 430 00:30:52,565 --> 00:30:53,816 Fantastic. 431 00:30:55,444 --> 00:30:57,071 We must go back to grave. 432 00:30:57,321 --> 00:30:59,908 We will cut down Cossack billboard. 433 00:31:00,534 --> 00:31:01,827 Dude, if we do that 434 00:31:01,911 --> 00:31:03,496 we're gonna go back to jail. So, no. 435 00:31:03,580 --> 00:31:07,794 Okay. We must purchase billboard from Cossack which I do not like 436 00:31:07,877 --> 00:31:09,838 and then we cut down billboard. 437 00:31:09,921 --> 00:31:12,008 First off, the Cossacks don't own it. 438 00:31:12,091 --> 00:31:14,177 Second off, it's owned by some giant billboard company. 439 00:31:14,261 --> 00:31:15,637 It costs $200,000. 440 00:31:15,721 --> 00:31:18,683 Then we buy from giant company and then we cut down billboard. 441 00:31:18,767 --> 00:31:20,686 Why are you being so difficult about this? 442 00:31:20,769 --> 00:31:21,896 I can't afford it! 443 00:31:21,979 --> 00:31:23,732 You have moneys? Your parents leave you moneys? 444 00:31:23,815 --> 00:31:25,484 I don't have $200,000. 445 00:31:25,567 --> 00:31:27,153 You have all this, so you have moneys. 446 00:31:27,236 --> 00:31:28,279 How much moneys you have? 447 00:31:28,363 --> 00:31:30,199 I have some money left, but I don't have a lot left. 448 00:31:30,282 --> 00:31:32,160 And I have a lot less now that I had to bail us 449 00:31:32,243 --> 00:31:34,246 - out of jail, Herschel. - It's not my fault! 450 00:31:34,329 --> 00:31:36,165 What is your fault is that you started a fight with 451 00:31:36,248 --> 00:31:37,292 some construction workers! 452 00:31:37,375 --> 00:31:40,170 Someone has to defend honor of family. Not you. 453 00:31:40,254 --> 00:31:42,215 And I'd be defending the honor of our family more 454 00:31:42,298 --> 00:31:44,301 if I wasn't busy trying to create a company 455 00:31:44,384 --> 00:31:45,636 and a product, man! 456 00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:48,306 You're busy? Oh, yes. Not selling Boop Bops. 457 00:31:48,390 --> 00:31:51,310 You don't understand how much pressure there is on this stuff. 458 00:31:51,394 --> 00:31:53,522 Okay? I'm trying to make it perfect. 459 00:31:53,605 --> 00:31:55,900 Blue. Green. Red. Who cares? 460 00:31:56,401 --> 00:31:57,527 Pick a color! 461 00:31:57,611 --> 00:32:00,114 Companies are made or broken by the color of their logo! 462 00:32:00,615 --> 00:32:01,699 Let me tell you something. 463 00:32:01,783 --> 00:32:03,827 In Schlupsk, we have saying. 464 00:32:04,036 --> 00:32:06,790 Oh, good. Yeah, what is it? I'm sure this has aged well. 465 00:32:06,873 --> 00:32:09,210 If man says he is going to throw punch 466 00:32:09,293 --> 00:32:10,545 but he does not throw punch 467 00:32:11,045 --> 00:32:14,300 it is because this man secretly has polio arm. 468 00:32:15,635 --> 00:32:16,678 This is you. 469 00:32:17,095 --> 00:32:18,430 You have polio arm. 470 00:32:19,014 --> 00:32:20,308 This your polio arm. 471 00:32:20,725 --> 00:32:21,893 Throw your punch! 472 00:32:22,102 --> 00:32:23,437 Do something, Ben! 473 00:32:23,854 --> 00:32:25,940 Don't just sit there, looking at Boop Bops. 474 00:32:26,024 --> 00:32:28,277 Blue, yellow, green! Who cares? 475 00:32:28,569 --> 00:32:29,612 Throw your punch! 476 00:32:29,695 --> 00:32:32,950 Okay. Fine! You know what? Fine! 477 00:32:33,033 --> 00:32:34,494 - Good. Do it. - I'll email the guy. 478 00:32:35,078 --> 00:32:37,122 No choice anyway. I have no money. 479 00:32:37,247 --> 00:32:39,709 It's not ready. Logo's not right. 480 00:32:39,792 --> 00:32:42,755 Who cares about the stupid logo? 481 00:32:44,382 --> 00:32:45,717 You know they cured polio, right? 482 00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:47,344 - They did? - Yes, they did. 483 00:32:47,428 --> 00:32:49,472 A long time ago. A guy named Jonas Salk. 484 00:32:49,639 --> 00:32:50,682 Was he Jew? 485 00:32:50,765 --> 00:32:52,101 He was. Yes. 486 00:32:52,184 --> 00:32:53,227 - He was Jewish? - Yes. 487 00:32:53,311 --> 00:32:54,562 Yes! Knew it. 488 00:32:54,646 --> 00:32:55,689 Oh, yeah, big win. 489 00:32:55,772 --> 00:32:57,650 I would look at polio people and think 490 00:32:58,818 --> 00:33:00,862 - "They could fix this." - You thought that? 491 00:33:00,946 --> 00:33:02,823 This problem not unfixable problem. 492 00:33:04,242 --> 00:33:06,370 You put a Jew on this, he will fix this. 493 00:33:06,453 --> 00:33:08,039 Very prophetic of you, Herschel. 494 00:33:08,122 --> 00:33:09,749 I was right. Very good. 495 00:33:13,755 --> 00:33:14,798 He's texting back. 496 00:33:14,965 --> 00:33:16,508 He says my idea's "straight fire." 497 00:33:16,967 --> 00:33:18,136 That's a good thing. 498 00:33:18,595 --> 00:33:21,640 He wants me to come in today and pitch my idea in person. 499 00:33:21,724 --> 00:33:22,892 He wants your Boop Bops. 500 00:33:23,226 --> 00:33:25,354 - This is a big deal, Herschel. - Yes. 501 00:33:26,438 --> 00:33:27,565 He wants my Boop Bops. 502 00:33:31,362 --> 00:33:32,447 Ben, what's up? 503 00:33:32,530 --> 00:33:33,573 Hey! How's it going, man? 504 00:33:35,409 --> 00:33:36,535 We're not gonna invest. 505 00:33:39,164 --> 00:33:41,459 - What? - Yeah. Sorry, man. 506 00:33:41,542 --> 00:33:42,585 What's the problem? 507 00:33:42,669 --> 00:33:44,546 Before you came in, we googled your name 508 00:33:44,630 --> 00:33:47,008 and the first thing that comes up is your arrest. 509 00:33:47,717 --> 00:33:49,428 Look, it's just bad optics. 510 00:33:49,511 --> 00:33:51,848 I mean, the whole app is about ethics 511 00:33:51,931 --> 00:33:54,184 and the founder is a violent criminal. 512 00:33:54,601 --> 00:33:56,395 Like, if you Boop Bopped Boop Bop 513 00:33:56,479 --> 00:33:58,607 you'd get a really low Boop Bop score. 514 00:33:58,690 --> 00:33:59,733 Is there anything we can do? 515 00:33:59,817 --> 00:34:01,611 Can we spin this or something like that? 516 00:34:01,694 --> 00:34:03,029 Oh, no. Definitely not. 517 00:34:03,113 --> 00:34:04,949 No one's gonna touch this, man. This is... 518 00:34:05,783 --> 00:34:06,868 This idea is dead. 519 00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:09,538 Look, consider this an opportunity. 520 00:34:09,622 --> 00:34:11,290 I mean, there's tons of other ideas. 521 00:34:11,374 --> 00:34:12,793 How long did it take to come up with this? 522 00:34:12,876 --> 00:34:15,588 - Five years. - Five years. That's... 523 00:34:15,713 --> 00:34:18,008 - Long time. - Yeah, that's a while. 524 00:34:18,091 --> 00:34:20,136 Sorry to disappoint you, I guess. 525 00:34:20,678 --> 00:34:22,389 Maybe you can make an app where it doesn't matter 526 00:34:22,472 --> 00:34:23,515 if the founder's a bad person. 527 00:34:23,682 --> 00:34:25,059 Like a social media thing. 528 00:34:26,603 --> 00:34:29,231 Hey. I don't know if you want my advice, man 529 00:34:29,565 --> 00:34:33,320 but it's never too late to do things completely differently. 530 00:34:33,404 --> 00:34:34,447 - You know? - Yeah. 531 00:34:34,530 --> 00:34:36,282 Yeah. Take care, man. 532 00:34:36,950 --> 00:34:38,285 Call me if you got anything new. 533 00:34:55,058 --> 00:34:59,230 - Did you get moneys? - No. I didn't get moneys. 534 00:34:59,397 --> 00:35:02,109 And I'm afraid that I might never get moneys 535 00:35:02,192 --> 00:35:05,947 for my business that is based on ethics 536 00:35:06,490 --> 00:35:09,619 now that I have a criminal record for assault 537 00:35:09,869 --> 00:35:10,954 because of you! 538 00:35:13,833 --> 00:35:16,169 I was worried no one would want your Boop Bops 539 00:35:16,253 --> 00:35:18,756 because is terrible idea. So... 540 00:35:19,424 --> 00:35:20,550 I have other idea. 541 00:35:21,260 --> 00:35:24,055 We start pickle business. 542 00:35:24,139 --> 00:35:26,266 Is good business. Jewish business. 543 00:35:26,350 --> 00:35:28,060 I have knowledge of pickling. 544 00:35:28,394 --> 00:35:30,272 I was myself a pickle. 545 00:35:30,689 --> 00:35:32,441 That's a very stupid idea, Herschel. 546 00:35:34,528 --> 00:35:37,240 It will work. We will start pickle business. 547 00:35:37,490 --> 00:35:38,908 We will become success. 548 00:35:39,659 --> 00:35:41,620 You will finally make dead parents proud. 549 00:35:42,288 --> 00:35:43,957 Don't you talk about my parents. 550 00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:45,584 You never talk about my parents! 551 00:35:45,668 --> 00:35:47,128 You don't know anything about them! 552 00:35:47,378 --> 00:35:48,630 You never met them! 553 00:35:49,172 --> 00:35:51,634 'Cause you were too busy getting pickle-brined 554 00:35:51,717 --> 00:35:54,888 for 100 years! It's your fault, Herschel. 555 00:35:55,013 --> 00:35:56,641 You got us arrested. 556 00:35:56,724 --> 00:35:59,269 You ruined my business that I spent years on! 557 00:36:02,899 --> 00:36:04,610 It's a good thing Sarah's not around anymore. 558 00:36:04,693 --> 00:36:06,988 'Cause if she was, she would be ashamed of you. 559 00:36:12,829 --> 00:36:14,373 You hear this vow. 560 00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,085 I will create pickle empire. 561 00:36:19,086 --> 00:36:21,713 I will make $200,000. 562 00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:24,591 I will buy back Cossack land. 563 00:36:24,674 --> 00:36:26,426 And I will cut down billboard. 564 00:36:27,302 --> 00:36:29,053 I will prove you stupid. 565 00:36:30,012 --> 00:36:32,306 Because you are my enemy. 566 00:36:32,765 --> 00:36:35,476 You dishonor Greenbaum name. 567 00:36:35,893 --> 00:36:38,061 We are no longer family. 568 00:36:38,937 --> 00:36:41,731 Good luck with that. You don't know jack shit about shit, man. 569 00:36:41,814 --> 00:36:43,775 You can't even read from what I can tell. 570 00:36:43,858 --> 00:36:45,276 You're gonna start a pickle empire? 571 00:36:45,359 --> 00:36:46,986 You can't even survive out there without my help! 572 00:36:47,278 --> 00:36:49,488 Do not need help from anybody. 573 00:36:49,863 --> 00:36:55,326 I will prove you stupid with no help from anybody ever! 574 00:37:22,184 --> 00:37:24,185 I would like to purchase. How much? 575 00:37:26,104 --> 00:37:28,147 Looks like these are 90 cents apiece. 576 00:37:29,190 --> 00:37:31,442 Terribly sorry, little boy. It sounds to me 577 00:37:31,525 --> 00:37:35,153 like you are saying these cucumbers are 90 cents apiece. 578 00:37:35,695 --> 00:37:36,821 I am. 579 00:37:57,840 --> 00:38:02,427 Cucumber. And salt. 580 00:38:04,638 --> 00:38:06,306 Yes! 581 00:38:55,266 --> 00:38:57,017 Yes! 582 00:39:16,868 --> 00:39:19,454 {\an5}Oh, my God. Kevin, look. Artisanal pickles. 583 00:39:20,496 --> 00:39:21,998 Well, he's not on Yelp. 584 00:39:22,748 --> 00:39:25,960 Sir, How local is your produce? 585 00:39:26,835 --> 00:39:28,837 I make pickle here in Brooklyn. 586 00:39:28,921 --> 00:39:30,464 And are they all-natural? 587 00:39:31,423 --> 00:39:33,550 - Is pickle. - But do you add any chemicals like 588 00:39:33,633 --> 00:39:35,468 you know, benzoates or preservatives? 589 00:39:37,678 --> 00:39:39,597 I do not even know these words. 590 00:39:40,014 --> 00:39:41,432 Oh, I like your style. 591 00:39:41,849 --> 00:39:43,892 - Ooh, let's see. - Wow! Ooh. 592 00:39:44,935 --> 00:39:46,811 Just hits me in my throat. 593 00:39:46,895 --> 00:39:47,937 Very pungent. 594 00:39:48,021 --> 00:39:50,690 - Let me smell it. - Oh! Yeah, that burns. 595 00:39:50,773 --> 00:39:51,899 You can feel the burn. 596 00:39:52,608 --> 00:39:54,109 I can, like, smell it in my eye. 597 00:39:54,193 --> 00:39:56,445 - Feel the sting. - Give to me again. Let me smell it. 598 00:39:57,529 --> 00:39:59,030 Mm, yeah, that's straight from the devil. 599 00:39:59,489 --> 00:40:02,992 - Satanic. Oh, it stinks. - You know what, it would go so good 600 00:40:03,117 --> 00:40:04,202 with the kelp ceviche. 601 00:40:04,285 --> 00:40:06,537 Oh, my God, that's right. How much do we owe you? 602 00:40:07,538 --> 00:40:09,832 - You want to buy? - Of course. 603 00:40:10,749 --> 00:40:12,042 Is $4 for pickle. 604 00:40:12,125 --> 00:40:15,587 $3 less than big store and I include the scum. 605 00:40:15,670 --> 00:40:17,839 - Okay. Sure. - Okay! Yeah, scum. 606 00:40:18,381 --> 00:40:19,674 - Here you go. - That's great. 607 00:40:19,757 --> 00:40:21,258 Scum it is. 608 00:40:27,347 --> 00:40:28,682 - You no haggle. - Haggle? 609 00:40:28,765 --> 00:40:30,100 No, I mean, it seems like $4 610 00:40:30,225 --> 00:40:33,144 - is appropriate for one pickle. - Yeah, unless you got a coupon. 611 00:40:35,062 --> 00:40:36,730 Also, you bring back jar when you finish. 612 00:40:36,814 --> 00:40:39,233 He reclaims his jars. He reclaims his jars. 613 00:40:39,316 --> 00:40:40,484 - Wow! - There is nothing 614 00:40:40,567 --> 00:40:41,652 wrong with used jar. 615 00:40:41,735 --> 00:40:43,778 They same after many, many use. 616 00:40:43,862 --> 00:40:45,864 Amen to that! 617 00:40:45,947 --> 00:40:47,073 - Amen. - Amen. 618 00:40:47,156 --> 00:40:48,407 You are religious. 619 00:40:48,491 --> 00:40:51,660 Amen! Well, thank you so much. Have a good day. 620 00:40:52,745 --> 00:40:54,163 Don't forget bring back jar. 621 00:40:54,246 --> 00:40:57,207 Or I will find you, and I will do terrible violence. 622 00:40:57,791 --> 00:41:00,585 You know what? You should do a post on him. 623 00:41:00,668 --> 00:41:01,878 Oh. Yeah. How could I not? 624 00:42:13,232 --> 00:42:14,358 Hey, man, how's it going? 625 00:42:14,817 --> 00:42:16,610 Yeah, not fantastic. 626 00:42:16,694 --> 00:42:20,030 I found out I gotta basically throw away 627 00:42:20,114 --> 00:42:22,199 the app I was working on, and start again from scratch. 628 00:42:23,450 --> 00:42:24,826 - Bummer. - Yeah. Big bummer. 629 00:42:24,909 --> 00:42:26,035 But I'll think of something. 630 00:42:26,161 --> 00:42:28,079 It's about the smell. You know is good. 631 00:42:28,162 --> 00:42:29,705 Pickles should smell like vomit. 632 00:42:29,789 --> 00:42:30,873 Excuse me, what is that? 633 00:42:31,957 --> 00:42:35,877 It's a blog post about that old-timey pickle guy over on Bedford. 634 00:42:35,961 --> 00:42:37,546 Oh, yeah. I heard about that guy. 635 00:42:37,712 --> 00:42:40,131 It's crazy, right? Look, here, check it out. 636 00:42:40,215 --> 00:42:42,133 Herschel's jars have no label, 637 00:42:42,216 --> 00:42:44,135 and his product doesn't even have a name. 638 00:42:44,218 --> 00:42:46,095 But he just might be the most authentic 639 00:42:46,178 --> 00:42:48,347 artisanal pickler in all of Williamsburg. 640 00:42:48,472 --> 00:42:51,058 And his accent is cute AF. 641 00:42:53,268 --> 00:42:55,853 - Hello. - Aww! Oh, my God! 642 00:42:55,937 --> 00:42:58,105 So he uses, like, repurposed pickle jars 643 00:42:58,189 --> 00:43:01,066 cucumbers, salt and rainwater, and that's it. 644 00:43:01,609 --> 00:43:02,985 Time to invest right now, right? 645 00:43:03,068 --> 00:43:05,779 Is this a popular blog? 646 00:43:05,862 --> 00:43:07,280 This video's got like a million views 647 00:43:07,364 --> 00:43:09,491 so people are loving this pickle guy. 648 00:43:09,574 --> 00:43:10,617 Maybe we should sell those here. 649 00:43:11,242 --> 00:43:13,619 Picklebacks, pickle shots. That's cool, right? 650 00:43:13,703 --> 00:43:14,745 Looks cool. 651 00:43:14,829 --> 00:43:16,288 - I love his hat. - I know. 652 00:43:36,806 --> 00:43:39,559 Herschel, your pickles are the hottest thing in Brooklyn. 653 00:43:39,642 --> 00:43:41,936 How does it feel to be such a runaway success? 654 00:43:43,395 --> 00:43:46,773 Ben Greenbaum, you see me now on your television box. 655 00:43:47,399 --> 00:43:51,027 Well, I become huge success. 656 00:43:51,111 --> 00:43:53,988 Soon I buy back Cossack billboard and I prove you are stupid. 657 00:43:54,072 --> 00:43:56,907 You are stupidest person I ever seen in my life. 658 00:43:56,991 --> 00:43:58,701 Wow, that Ben guy really sounds stupid. 659 00:44:00,035 --> 00:44:01,078 ...genius compared to you. 660 00:44:03,288 --> 00:44:05,540 Okay. Not sure who Ben is. 661 00:44:06,708 --> 00:44:08,459 Herschel, I understand your pickles are made 662 00:44:08,543 --> 00:44:10,127 - with rainwater. - Rainwater, yes. 663 00:44:10,211 --> 00:44:12,088 - Yes. - Rainwater from gutters. 664 00:44:12,171 --> 00:44:15,424 Nutrients from roof come off into jar. 665 00:44:15,507 --> 00:44:17,009 There's bird droppings in there? 666 00:44:17,092 --> 00:44:19,261 All sorts of animal parts in here. 667 00:44:19,427 --> 00:44:21,137 Little essence of animal feet. 668 00:44:21,221 --> 00:44:22,305 Could you pull over, please? 669 00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:28,310 Hello. Health Department? 670 00:44:29,353 --> 00:44:30,562 I'd like to file a complaint. 671 00:44:36,401 --> 00:44:39,320 - There you go. You take pickle. - Gratitude. 672 00:44:39,403 --> 00:44:41,071 Are you Herschel Greenbaum? 673 00:44:41,572 --> 00:44:43,198 Yes, $14 for pickle. 674 00:44:43,282 --> 00:44:46,076 $10 extra if you want telephone photograph 675 00:44:46,159 --> 00:44:47,911 with the Herschel. Get in line. 676 00:44:48,495 --> 00:44:51,914 Listen, you're gonna have to shut this down immediately. 677 00:44:52,790 --> 00:44:53,833 Why shut down? 678 00:44:53,916 --> 00:44:56,752 Because you've got dozens of flagrant health violations. 679 00:44:57,211 --> 00:44:59,838 You can't just take food out of a garbage can 680 00:44:59,921 --> 00:45:00,964 and sell it to people. 681 00:45:01,047 --> 00:45:03,758 - That's insane. - But is all-natural. Is vegan. 682 00:45:04,092 --> 00:45:06,010 No benzoate. No preservative. 683 00:45:06,427 --> 00:45:08,054 You're lucky no one has died. 684 00:45:08,929 --> 00:45:13,225 You owe $12,000 in taxes, fees and fines. 685 00:45:13,725 --> 00:45:15,727 Till then, you are shut down. 686 00:45:27,696 --> 00:45:29,573 Ew. Guys. 687 00:45:29,698 --> 00:45:32,242 Eighty-six the pickles. They're made out of garbage. 688 00:45:35,119 --> 00:45:36,162 Nope. 689 00:45:51,550 --> 00:45:54,428 - Herschel, we heard terrible news. - Yeah, what happened? 690 00:45:54,928 --> 00:45:56,388 I was shut down by evil woman. 691 00:45:57,180 --> 00:45:59,432 They tell me I have to "bring things up to code." 692 00:46:00,475 --> 00:46:02,477 I do not know how to do this all by myself. 693 00:46:03,061 --> 00:46:05,271 You could scale up the business, right? 694 00:46:05,354 --> 00:46:06,439 - True. - Maybe hire some workers. 695 00:46:06,522 --> 00:46:08,440 - That's good. - Cannot afford workers. 696 00:46:10,234 --> 00:46:12,736 - You could get interns! - Yes. 697 00:46:16,281 --> 00:46:18,533 - Interns? - Yeah, they're unpaid workers. 698 00:46:21,702 --> 00:46:22,995 Unpaid workers? 699 00:46:23,078 --> 00:46:26,206 Right. You compensate them in education and experience. 700 00:46:31,711 --> 00:46:32,754 Like slave? 701 00:46:32,962 --> 00:46:35,381 No. That's not what I mean. 702 00:46:35,464 --> 00:46:37,424 That's a little bit of an oversimplification. 703 00:46:37,508 --> 00:46:40,093 Now, listen, Herschel. You run a small 704 00:46:40,260 --> 00:46:41,928 ethically conscious... 705 00:46:42,095 --> 00:46:43,596 Next. 706 00:46:46,683 --> 00:46:49,185 Mr. Greenbaum, I would just like to thank you in advance 707 00:46:49,268 --> 00:46:51,353 for considering me for this internship. 708 00:46:51,437 --> 00:46:54,856 My name is Clara. I am a rising senior at NYU. 709 00:46:54,940 --> 00:46:57,442 I have a 4.2 GPA. I am president 710 00:46:57,525 --> 00:46:59,486 - of the Asian Cinema Club... - Show me your teeth. 711 00:47:00,945 --> 00:47:03,614 - Yes. - Herschel is back! 712 00:47:04,573 --> 00:47:06,700 Gloves, here you go. Everyone needs gloves. 713 00:47:06,784 --> 00:47:08,076 That's the regulation. 714 00:47:08,160 --> 00:47:10,745 Like the beard tucked in. That's important! 715 00:47:11,329 --> 00:47:13,373 All right. Let's get this up to code, people. 716 00:47:13,456 --> 00:47:15,375 Just pickling. No talking. 717 00:47:17,460 --> 00:47:20,045 No! 718 00:47:23,215 --> 00:47:24,841 Almost there. Keep it up! 719 00:47:32,973 --> 00:47:34,016 All right! 720 00:47:46,277 --> 00:47:48,612 This is what we're reaching for, everybody. 721 00:47:48,779 --> 00:47:50,906 - This is the dream. - This is the goal. 722 00:47:51,782 --> 00:47:54,784 Perfect jar of pickle. Go. 723 00:48:09,881 --> 00:48:11,591 Hey there! 724 00:48:53,628 --> 00:48:55,338 Yeah! 725 00:48:55,588 --> 00:48:57,715 Move it. 726 00:48:58,257 --> 00:48:59,800 Hurry! Hurry up! 727 00:48:59,884 --> 00:49:01,719 It says your deed on the lot is paid in full. 728 00:49:04,680 --> 00:49:05,722 Cut it down. 729 00:49:20,902 --> 00:49:23,863 Herschel win! Yeah! 730 00:50:30,047 --> 00:50:33,091 {\an5}This is the beginning. Right? You heard it here first, folks. 731 00:50:33,174 --> 00:50:36,260 {\an5}Benjamin Greenbaum is gonna change the world. 732 00:50:36,427 --> 00:50:37,595 {\an5}That's what you're gonna do. 733 00:50:37,678 --> 00:50:40,139 {\an5}- Yeah, thank you. I appreciate it. - We know it. 734 00:50:40,222 --> 00:50:42,474 {\an5}Oh, yeah. Bill Gates, move over. 735 00:50:42,558 --> 00:50:43,725 - Move over, Bill Gates. - Watch out, Bill. 736 00:50:43,809 --> 00:50:45,477 {\an5}Ben Greenbaum's got your number. 737 00:50:45,685 --> 00:50:47,562 I appreciate it. Thank you, guys. 738 00:50:47,646 --> 00:50:49,898 And we know you're gonna do such great things. 739 00:50:49,981 --> 00:50:51,315 - Great things. - And speaking of... 740 00:50:52,567 --> 00:50:54,193 Guys. 741 00:50:54,276 --> 00:50:57,863 - It's just a little... - A little something. 742 00:51:01,074 --> 00:51:02,909 Oh, my God. 743 00:51:04,118 --> 00:51:06,954 It's an investment. An investment in your new company. 744 00:51:07,288 --> 00:51:08,664 We wanted to get in on the ground floor. 745 00:51:08,748 --> 00:51:10,124 Yes, absolutely. Bottom. 746 00:51:10,332 --> 00:51:13,126 My company doesn't even have a name yet, so I think 747 00:51:13,210 --> 00:51:15,378 - it's a little premature. - Come on! You'll think of something. 748 00:51:15,545 --> 00:51:18,047 You could just call it "Mom and Dad." 749 00:51:18,131 --> 00:51:19,841 - You're so creative, inventive. - "Mom and Dad." I like that... 750 00:51:32,769 --> 00:51:35,146 I have done it. 751 00:51:35,605 --> 00:51:41,026 I have restored honor to family and conquered the Cossacks. 752 00:51:41,109 --> 00:51:42,152 Congrats. 753 00:51:42,235 --> 00:51:44,362 Now I have some free time on my hands 754 00:51:44,446 --> 00:51:46,906 so I have good news. 755 00:51:48,116 --> 00:51:49,826 Herschel is back. 756 00:51:51,035 --> 00:51:54,163 I have decided I would come back to be with you. 757 00:51:54,246 --> 00:51:56,331 Not for me. I am fine. Very stable. 758 00:51:56,415 --> 00:51:58,833 Not ups and downs. Herschel feel very happy 759 00:51:58,917 --> 00:52:00,543 - all the time. - Oh, yeah? 760 00:52:00,752 --> 00:52:05,923 But for Ben, I figure maybe I come back and I help you. 761 00:52:06,841 --> 00:52:11,303 You have no wife, no children, no friends, and now no job. 762 00:52:11,428 --> 00:52:12,471 You need help! 763 00:52:13,179 --> 00:52:14,973 Herschel will help. Do not worry. 764 00:52:15,515 --> 00:52:18,267 Go away, Herschel. I don't want you here. 765 00:52:18,768 --> 00:52:22,271 Okay? Just please leave my apartment. 766 00:52:23,689 --> 00:52:25,190 But I am only family you have left. 767 00:52:26,733 --> 00:52:30,737 You need Herschel. Without Herschel, you'll be all alone. 768 00:52:32,029 --> 00:52:33,281 No one to fix broken life. 769 00:52:34,115 --> 00:52:35,324 My life isn't broken, Herschel. 770 00:52:36,325 --> 00:52:38,327 I'm fine. I'm completely happy. 771 00:52:38,410 --> 00:52:41,371 The only problem I have right now, honestly, is you. 772 00:52:41,872 --> 00:52:43,206 Just please go! 773 00:52:43,289 --> 00:52:45,249 If you do not realize you need Herschel 774 00:52:45,333 --> 00:52:47,126 you are stupider than Polish person. 775 00:52:47,210 --> 00:52:50,045 And they are the stupidest. 776 00:53:01,597 --> 00:53:04,099 How's your Twitter presence these days, Herschel? 777 00:53:05,392 --> 00:53:07,019 - What is Twitter? - What is Twitter? 778 00:53:07,102 --> 00:53:08,520 You don't know what Twitter is? 779 00:53:09,021 --> 00:53:13,149 Big, powerful pickle magnate like you doesn't know what Twitter is? 780 00:53:13,233 --> 00:53:14,734 I might know what it is by other word. 781 00:53:15,359 --> 00:53:17,445 Well, maybe tell me what it is. Clarify. 782 00:53:17,695 --> 00:53:19,989 Twitter, you know, it's a marketplace of ideas 783 00:53:20,072 --> 00:53:22,199 where the world's best and brightest come 784 00:53:22,282 --> 00:53:23,700 to share their opinions 785 00:53:23,909 --> 00:53:26,828 in a very measured and reasonable manner. Twitter. 786 00:53:27,287 --> 00:53:29,288 - I will do Twitter. - You probably think you can 787 00:53:29,372 --> 00:53:30,873 but it's very complicated. I don't think you'll get it. 788 00:53:31,165 --> 00:53:32,875 - I can do anything. - I don't think you can. 789 00:53:32,958 --> 00:53:34,626 - Can you do Twitter? - Oh, I can do Twitter. 790 00:53:34,710 --> 00:53:36,170 If you can do Twitter, I can do Twitter. 791 00:53:36,253 --> 00:53:39,172 In order to do Twitter really well, you gotta be raw and uncensored 792 00:53:39,798 --> 00:53:41,716 and share your completely unfettered opinions. 793 00:53:41,799 --> 00:53:42,967 I don't think you'll be good at that. 794 00:53:43,051 --> 00:53:45,303 - I will do Twitter! - Really? I don't know. 795 00:53:46,053 --> 00:53:47,763 You watch me, Ben! I will do Twitter. 796 00:53:48,472 --> 00:53:50,474 I will do Twitter better than anyone has ever done Twitter. 797 00:53:50,682 --> 00:53:52,809 Well, I'll believe it when I see it, Herschel. 798 00:53:53,185 --> 00:53:55,395 You will see it. And you will believe it. 799 00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:58,773 - Well, have at it, my friend! - Watch. 800 00:54:03,986 --> 00:54:07,072 Sir, some people hire a publicity team to help. 801 00:54:07,239 --> 00:54:11,034 No help. I will be Twitter and nothing can stop me. Now... 802 00:54:12,201 --> 00:54:14,495 - Read me back my dictation. - Okay. 803 00:54:16,997 --> 00:54:19,875 Wheelchair people, my pickles are so good... 804 00:54:20,584 --> 00:54:23,712 it will make you forget Hashem has cursed you. 805 00:54:23,878 --> 00:54:25,922 Hashem has cursed their legs but not their mouths. 806 00:54:26,005 --> 00:54:28,132 - They can eat pickle. Is good. - Okay. 807 00:54:28,299 --> 00:54:30,176 - Send to Twitter. - Sending. 808 00:54:30,426 --> 00:54:33,554 We sell to all peoples even woman 809 00:54:33,887 --> 00:54:38,224 unless they are in menses, in which case, stay in tent. 810 00:54:38,308 --> 00:54:40,643 Stay in tent. Next Twitter. 811 00:54:40,893 --> 00:54:42,520 - Attention, sodomites. - Yes. 812 00:54:42,937 --> 00:54:45,147 Hashem will smite you for your sin! 813 00:54:45,898 --> 00:54:49,151 You will burn in flames for your crimes against God. 814 00:54:50,068 --> 00:54:51,403 Buy my pickles. 815 00:54:53,196 --> 00:54:57,908 - Perfect to send. Very good. - Yep. 816 00:55:12,671 --> 00:55:16,175 Oh, lots of customers today. 817 00:55:16,592 --> 00:55:21,221 Those are not customers. Those are protesters. 818 00:55:23,348 --> 00:55:26,475 - Protesters? - You're disgusting, man! How dare? 819 00:55:26,559 --> 00:55:28,727 Down with Herschel! 820 00:55:28,852 --> 00:55:32,522 Down with Herschel! 821 00:55:32,606 --> 00:55:36,067 Sir, as grateful as I am to you for this educational opportunity 822 00:55:36,151 --> 00:55:38,111 I am afraid that I can no longer 823 00:55:38,403 --> 00:55:40,446 continue this endeavor in good conscience. 824 00:55:41,238 --> 00:55:42,448 Thank you for the college credit. 825 00:55:43,240 --> 00:55:44,324 Clara! 826 00:55:44,575 --> 00:55:48,620 Down with Herschel! 827 00:55:48,828 --> 00:55:52,248 You traitor! After everything I do for you! 828 00:55:53,875 --> 00:55:56,168 - I'm sorry. - Down with Herschel! 829 00:55:56,919 --> 00:55:59,338 Go away! 830 00:56:00,547 --> 00:56:02,716 Who is Herschel Greenbaum? 831 00:56:03,008 --> 00:56:04,509 And what is he selling? 832 00:56:05,135 --> 00:56:06,177 Is it pickles? 833 00:56:06,803 --> 00:56:09,221 Or is it hate? 834 00:56:09,930 --> 00:56:11,682 Greenbaum's tweets are so outrageous, 835 00:56:11,765 --> 00:56:13,809 they seem almost designed to cause offense. 836 00:56:13,892 --> 00:56:15,227 You're insane! 837 00:56:15,435 --> 00:56:17,604 He's drawing protests and boycotts. 838 00:56:18,271 --> 00:56:20,565 But maybe that's the point. 839 00:56:22,859 --> 00:56:25,653 Some view him as a hateful bigot with rage in his heart. 840 00:56:25,986 --> 00:56:28,989 Others see him as a defender of free speech, 841 00:56:29,114 --> 00:56:32,951 a clever provocateur testing the limits of the First Amendment. 842 00:56:33,493 --> 00:56:36,120 Look, I get it. He's saying some controversial things 843 00:56:36,204 --> 00:56:39,331 but he's religious, so I believe him. 844 00:56:39,415 --> 00:56:40,499 He's what we need right now. 845 00:56:41,208 --> 00:56:42,793 Everybody in the mainstream media's like 846 00:56:42,960 --> 00:56:44,628 "Herschel's this terrible person." 847 00:56:44,836 --> 00:56:46,046 I think they got it all wrong. 848 00:56:46,338 --> 00:56:48,923 He's playing chess. Everybody else is playing checkers. 849 00:56:49,549 --> 00:56:53,260 Tonight, we'll find out who Herschel Greenbaum really is 850 00:56:54,553 --> 00:56:56,930 from the man himself, Herschel Greenbaum. 851 00:56:58,140 --> 00:57:00,183 Tell me, Herschel. How do you respond 852 00:57:00,267 --> 00:57:02,352 to those who have called your belief system abhorrent? 853 00:57:03,394 --> 00:57:05,104 I would tell these people 854 00:57:05,271 --> 00:57:07,690 I do not understand what this word means. 855 00:57:08,065 --> 00:57:12,027 So, what you're saying is when it comes to online speech 856 00:57:12,110 --> 00:57:14,279 you don't understand restrictions. 857 00:57:15,196 --> 00:57:19,117 I am saying I do not understand what is happening. 858 00:57:19,200 --> 00:57:22,745 I do not understand... what is happening... 859 00:57:24,289 --> 00:57:25,331 with this whole thing. 860 00:57:25,790 --> 00:57:29,335 What is happening with this whole thing? 861 00:57:30,545 --> 00:57:34,216 With our culture, our country, our way of life? 862 00:57:35,008 --> 00:57:37,093 This is a question Herschel Greenbaum 863 00:57:37,177 --> 00:57:39,846 for better or worse, is determined to ask. 864 00:57:40,305 --> 00:57:43,141 What is happening? What is happening right now? 865 00:57:43,850 --> 00:57:47,604 I really wish somebody would tell me what is happening. 866 00:57:48,355 --> 00:57:49,481 Indeed. 867 00:57:49,606 --> 00:57:53,152 Herschel, you have captivated the imagination, 868 00:57:53,235 --> 00:57:56,989 the hearts and minds of the entire world 869 00:57:57,114 --> 00:57:59,617 with your passion and your truth. 870 00:58:00,659 --> 00:58:03,996 Buy my pickle. 871 00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:05,122 We will. 872 00:58:32,150 --> 00:58:34,236 Okay, be that as it may 873 00:58:34,319 --> 00:58:37,489 your stance on gender roles is so regressive 874 00:58:37,656 --> 00:58:41,243 that it would effectively limit women to a life of servitude. 875 00:58:41,827 --> 00:58:43,912 Exactly, servitude. Woman like to serve. 876 00:58:44,496 --> 00:58:47,833 She has little hands for serving things to people 877 00:58:48,042 --> 00:58:49,752 in very nice, graceful way. 878 00:58:50,378 --> 00:58:53,422 Women have nipples to serve milk to people. 879 00:58:53,547 --> 00:58:56,884 Woman have hole in lower body to produce babies. 880 00:58:57,051 --> 00:59:00,471 In other words, serve babies out of hole in body. 881 00:59:00,763 --> 00:59:02,557 Yeah! 882 00:59:02,724 --> 00:59:06,019 - Woman like serve! Yes! - Incredibly offensive. 883 00:59:06,144 --> 00:59:07,479 - Someone is menses. - No. 884 00:59:09,564 --> 00:59:10,732 That debate is certainly settled. 885 00:59:10,815 --> 00:59:12,150 Let's throw it to the audience for questions. 886 00:59:12,776 --> 00:59:13,902 You, sir. 887 00:59:15,153 --> 00:59:17,364 Herschel, wow. It's amazing to talk to you. What an honor. 888 00:59:17,489 --> 00:59:18,532 Honor to be here. 889 00:59:18,615 --> 00:59:20,784 I was wondering how you felt about the taxes 890 00:59:20,867 --> 00:59:22,661 that are crushing small businesses. 891 00:59:23,245 --> 00:59:27,666 I'm glad you ask. You tax Herschel, Herschel will do violence to you. 892 00:59:28,041 --> 00:59:31,754 - Yes, terrible violence! - Miss. 893 00:59:34,048 --> 00:59:37,092 Herschel, have you considered running for office? 894 00:59:38,469 --> 00:59:40,054 I would like office. 895 00:59:45,351 --> 00:59:48,437 I would like big office. 896 00:59:53,484 --> 00:59:56,487 I would like biggest office in America! 897 00:59:57,238 --> 00:59:59,324 Huge office! 898 01:00:01,284 --> 01:00:03,828 Oh, how about you? In the back. 899 01:00:04,537 --> 01:00:07,958 Yes, the shapely young woman in the back row. Cannot see. 900 01:00:08,792 --> 01:00:10,836 Yes, thank you. Hello. Thank you. 901 01:00:11,461 --> 01:00:13,588 I was wondering what your thoughts are 902 01:00:13,880 --> 01:00:17,301 on Christian prayer in public schools. 903 01:00:17,467 --> 01:00:18,635 Yes, thank you. 904 01:00:19,470 --> 01:00:21,972 Oh, simple question. Easy to answer. 905 01:00:22,556 --> 01:00:25,017 I don't think I'm saying anything controversial 906 01:00:25,100 --> 01:00:29,772 when I say everybody know Jesus Christ mother was prostitute. 907 01:00:29,855 --> 01:00:34,819 And she invent story of Christianity to cover up fact that she prostitute. 908 01:00:34,902 --> 01:00:37,947 So if you believe in Jesus, you are stupid idiot. 909 01:00:39,198 --> 01:00:42,910 You suck, Herschel! I'm gonna get you! 910 01:00:56,591 --> 01:00:59,970 We interrupt your regularly scheduled program to bring you special report. 911 01:01:02,597 --> 01:01:04,725 Herschel Greenbaum the time-traveling immigrant 912 01:01:04,808 --> 01:01:08,729 who captured America's hearts and minds has fallen hard from grace. 913 01:01:08,812 --> 01:01:12,900 The public outcry against his bigotry is spreading throughout the country. 914 01:01:13,400 --> 01:01:16,362 He's been condemned by leaders on the left and right. 915 01:01:16,737 --> 01:01:18,030 And that's not all. 916 01:01:18,113 --> 01:01:21,242 Authorities are apparently calling for his deportation. 917 01:01:21,742 --> 01:01:25,246 Due to an outdated filing system at the Ellis Island storage facility, 918 01:01:25,496 --> 01:01:27,832 his paperwork cannot be located. 919 01:01:27,999 --> 01:01:30,960 Therefore, his citizenship has been revoked. 920 01:01:31,627 --> 01:01:33,588 If you have information about the whereabouts 921 01:01:33,713 --> 01:01:36,758 of the fugitive illegal alien Herschel Greenbaum, 922 01:01:36,966 --> 01:01:39,135 please call the tip hotline below. 923 01:01:40,178 --> 01:01:41,805 I just feel bad for this guy at this point. 924 01:01:41,888 --> 01:01:44,641 Look, I don't see how Herschel can come back from this one, folks. 925 01:01:44,724 --> 01:01:48,019 Everyone has deserted him. He's alone in the world. His life is in ruins. 926 01:01:48,436 --> 01:01:50,939 And the only person he has to blame for all of it, I'm sorry, 927 01:01:51,022 --> 01:01:52,649 is Herschel Greenbaum. 928 01:01:55,152 --> 01:01:56,194 The hell? 929 01:01:57,487 --> 01:02:00,324 Dude! Stop! 930 01:02:01,074 --> 01:02:03,160 Herschel, what the hell, man? What are you doing? 931 01:02:03,243 --> 01:02:05,621 These Christians, they try to kill me. 932 01:02:05,704 --> 01:02:07,414 They're not trying to kill you, Herschel. 933 01:02:07,498 --> 01:02:08,707 They just wanna send you back to Schlupsk. 934 01:02:08,791 --> 01:02:12,336 Is worse! I never go back to Schlupsk. 935 01:02:12,920 --> 01:02:17,341 Everything me and Sarah sacrificed to come here is for nothing. 936 01:02:17,967 --> 01:02:19,594 Well, I don't know what to tell you, man. 937 01:02:19,677 --> 01:02:22,305 - I can't do anything for you. - There is something. 938 01:02:23,264 --> 01:02:25,808 You must smuggle Herschel away from American authorities. 939 01:02:26,309 --> 01:02:29,812 - What? - I have accepted I have new fate. 940 01:02:30,396 --> 01:02:33,983 I will move to Canada, become icicle man. 941 01:02:34,317 --> 01:02:36,528 I will trade beaver for fire. 942 01:02:36,611 --> 01:02:39,447 It's not ideal. But this is what must happen. 943 01:02:39,573 --> 01:02:41,700 I'm terribly sorry this is happening to you 944 01:02:41,908 --> 01:02:43,160 and that everyone's turned on you 945 01:02:43,243 --> 01:02:46,371 because you've said truly despicable things. 946 01:02:46,622 --> 01:02:51,668 But I'm not gonna risk getting arrested again to help you. 947 01:02:52,586 --> 01:02:53,629 Is not help. 948 01:02:57,967 --> 01:03:00,261 - Is trade. - Trade? 949 01:03:01,428 --> 01:03:02,721 I know you do not like Herschel. 950 01:03:03,389 --> 01:03:05,933 I know you think your life better before Herschel. 951 01:03:06,559 --> 01:03:07,810 You take me to Canada 952 01:03:08,728 --> 01:03:10,354 you never have to see me again. 953 01:03:15,109 --> 01:03:16,778 All right. 954 01:03:21,074 --> 01:03:23,368 Ten miles to Canada, no roads, no checkpoints. 955 01:03:23,993 --> 01:03:25,036 Just walk from here. 956 01:03:26,913 --> 01:03:27,956 This will work. 957 01:04:28,226 --> 01:04:29,269 Very good. 958 01:04:54,086 --> 01:04:57,090 - We stay warm together. - Thank you. 959 01:05:15,692 --> 01:05:19,154 There's the border. We made it. 960 01:05:22,699 --> 01:05:24,451 Oh, shit. Someone's coming. Here. 961 01:05:24,535 --> 01:05:26,578 Come on. Here, come on. 962 01:05:26,662 --> 01:05:27,705 This way. 963 01:05:31,917 --> 01:05:33,210 Stop! 964 01:05:47,767 --> 01:05:50,103 Looks like they're just taking a break or something. 965 01:05:50,228 --> 01:05:52,438 So we'll just chill here till they're gone. 966 01:05:53,731 --> 01:05:56,484 - You do not mind? - No, I don't mind. 967 01:06:01,197 --> 01:06:04,242 - Is there lot of woods in Schlupsk? - Forest. 968 01:06:04,326 --> 01:06:05,702 - What's the difference? - Wolves. 969 01:06:06,369 --> 01:06:08,747 - Oh, wow. - Sarah loved to chase wolf. 970 01:06:09,957 --> 01:06:11,291 She would club them with stick 971 01:06:11,500 --> 01:06:14,336 hit them with rock, kill them. 972 01:06:15,045 --> 01:06:16,088 Very good time. 973 01:06:16,171 --> 01:06:17,464 She sounds pretty amazing. 974 01:06:18,924 --> 01:06:20,050 I wish I could have met her. 975 01:06:20,843 --> 01:06:22,803 Although, maybe it's for the best that I didn't. 976 01:06:23,304 --> 01:06:25,973 - Why you say this? - I'm probably not, like 977 01:06:26,766 --> 01:06:30,519 the best-case scenario for what the family's become. 978 01:06:30,603 --> 01:06:32,521 She probably wouldn't be too psyched to 979 01:06:32,980 --> 01:06:35,024 you know, to see who I am. 980 01:06:36,359 --> 01:06:37,610 Not so sure. 981 01:06:41,239 --> 01:06:44,242 Perhaps once I live in Canada 982 01:06:44,325 --> 01:06:47,078 you come to visit Herschel. 983 01:06:50,957 --> 01:06:52,000 You know, maybe... 984 01:06:55,170 --> 01:06:57,089 Maybe you don't have to go to Canada. 985 01:06:57,798 --> 01:06:58,840 What do you mean? 986 01:06:58,924 --> 01:07:00,592 I mean, now that I think about it 987 01:07:00,676 --> 01:07:04,054 you know, maybe we just haven't exhausted all of our options. 988 01:07:05,097 --> 01:07:07,266 You don't have to go hide in Canada for the rest of your life. 989 01:07:07,349 --> 01:07:09,018 We'll fix this, and in the meantime 990 01:07:09,101 --> 01:07:11,937 you can stay with me. We'll figure it out. 991 01:07:12,021 --> 01:07:13,939 You do not want this. 992 01:07:14,023 --> 01:07:16,358 - What do you mean? - You try to get rid of Herschel. 993 01:07:17,151 --> 01:07:19,570 Take Herschel to middle of wilderness 994 01:07:19,695 --> 01:07:20,988 to take Herschel to Canada. 995 01:07:22,531 --> 01:07:23,574 You hate Herschel. 996 01:07:31,499 --> 01:07:33,084 I'm just gonna tell you this, man. 997 01:07:34,377 --> 01:07:35,962 I'm the one who called the Health Department on you. 998 01:07:36,045 --> 01:07:38,089 I got you shut down. That was me. 999 01:07:38,882 --> 01:07:42,010 And that's not all I did. I told you to go on Twitter 1000 01:07:42,093 --> 01:07:44,930 knowing you would say despicable things. 1001 01:07:45,013 --> 01:07:48,600 You always do, and I did that to sabotage your business. 1002 01:07:48,683 --> 01:07:49,810 Is this it? 1003 01:07:50,102 --> 01:07:52,771 No. After the Twitter thing didn't destroy you 1004 01:07:52,854 --> 01:07:54,439 I attended the debate you were having. 1005 01:07:54,523 --> 01:07:57,651 I went to the back row and I disguised my voice 1006 01:07:57,734 --> 01:08:00,487 and I asked the question about Christian prayer in school. 1007 01:08:01,405 --> 01:08:03,198 I knew exactly what you were gonna say. 1008 01:08:04,742 --> 01:08:05,784 I'm so sorry, Herschel. 1009 01:08:05,868 --> 01:08:07,828 It was wrong. I shouldn't have done it. 1010 01:08:07,912 --> 01:08:10,373 I caused this whole thing to happen. Do you forgive me? 1011 01:08:12,917 --> 01:08:14,585 - Wait. - You are traitor to your family! 1012 01:08:14,669 --> 01:08:16,003 You are not Jew! 1013 01:08:28,683 --> 01:08:30,268 Hey, you! Stop right there! 1014 01:08:30,894 --> 01:08:32,437 232, requesting backup. 1015 01:08:41,196 --> 01:08:42,698 Where'd he go? 1016 01:08:45,200 --> 01:08:47,077 I think it's that pickle guy from the news. 1017 01:08:47,786 --> 01:08:48,871 Come on. 1018 01:08:51,373 --> 01:08:52,625 Herschel Greenbaum! 1019 01:08:52,708 --> 01:08:54,084 We know you're out there. 1020 01:09:06,889 --> 01:09:10,226 - Where is this guy? - Hello there, dudes. 1021 01:09:11,477 --> 01:09:14,606 - Who are you? - I am Ben Greenbaum. 1022 01:09:15,648 --> 01:09:17,901 - Where's Herschel Greenbaum? - Herschel is back there. 1023 01:09:17,984 --> 01:09:19,861 You better get him before he escapes. 1024 01:09:20,362 --> 01:09:21,404 I'm on it. 1025 01:09:22,447 --> 01:09:23,949 - All right. You're free to go. - Found him! 1026 01:09:24,032 --> 01:09:29,121 - Thanks. - All right, get up. 1027 01:09:29,871 --> 01:09:32,082 All right, we got him. 1028 01:09:32,165 --> 01:09:33,333 We got a positive ID on Herschel Greenbaum. 1029 01:09:34,293 --> 01:09:35,419 - You have right to remain silent. - What? 1030 01:09:35,586 --> 01:09:37,379 Anything you say can and will be used against you 1031 01:09:37,463 --> 01:09:39,173 in a court of law. 1032 01:09:40,424 --> 01:09:41,633 And now, breaking news. 1033 01:09:42,676 --> 01:09:45,512 {\an5}This is Susan O'Malley standing inside the Manhattan Federal 1034 01:09:45,596 --> 01:09:47,306 {\an5}Courthouse for what has been labelled 1035 01:09:47,389 --> 01:09:49,892 {\an5}one of the most bizarre trials of the century. 1036 01:09:50,434 --> 01:09:52,061 {\an5}Herschel Greenbaum has been deemed 1037 01:09:52,144 --> 01:09:54,230 {\an5}a persona non grata on American soil. 1038 01:09:55,022 --> 01:09:57,608 {\an5}His deportation trial got off to a strange start 1039 01:09:57,692 --> 01:10:01,112 {\an5}as his lawyer put forth a truly unexpected defense, 1040 01:10:01,195 --> 01:10:05,700 {\an5}that Herschel Greenbaum was not, in fact, actually Herschel Greenbaum. 1041 01:10:05,783 --> 01:10:08,203 {\an5}This is Ben Greenbaum. 1042 01:10:09,204 --> 01:10:10,747 {\an5}This is Herschel 1043 01:10:10,830 --> 01:10:13,875 {\an5}who switched places with him because as you can see 1044 01:10:13,959 --> 01:10:17,546 {\an5}Herschel Greenbaum has a beard 1045 01:10:17,629 --> 01:10:21,258 {\an5}whereas my client, Ben, has no beard. 1046 01:10:21,341 --> 01:10:23,510 {\an5}I object, Your Honor. 1047 01:10:23,593 --> 01:10:25,387 {\an5}What precedent are we setting here? 1048 01:10:25,512 --> 01:10:28,182 {\an5}That the defendant isn't actually the defendant? 1049 01:10:28,265 --> 01:10:31,518 {\an5}Well, then, maybe Charles Manson 1050 01:10:32,102 --> 01:10:35,481 wasn't actually Charles Manson. 1051 01:10:36,357 --> 01:10:40,361 {\an5}- Let me try something really fast. - So I'm me, the guy you know. 1052 01:10:41,278 --> 01:10:42,405 {\an5}Is this a new guy? 1053 01:10:43,781 --> 01:10:47,618 {\an5}With that, I move to dismiss the defense's entire case. 1054 01:10:47,702 --> 01:10:49,996 {\an5}Granted. Court adjourned. 1055 01:10:50,872 --> 01:10:52,623 {\an5}Herschel was quickly put on a ship 1056 01:10:52,707 --> 01:10:55,835 {\an5}back to Eastern Europe returning to his home country of Schlupsk. 1057 01:10:56,419 --> 01:10:59,756 And with that, America can finally rest easy. 1058 01:11:00,256 --> 01:11:02,550 The abomination known as Herschel Greenbaum 1059 01:11:02,842 --> 01:11:06,721 will never wreak havoc on our great land ever again. 1060 01:11:08,265 --> 01:11:09,391 Back to you, Jim. 1061 01:11:52,894 --> 01:11:54,145 Oh, Sarah. 1062 01:12:48,243 --> 01:12:49,286 Boop. Bop. 1063 01:13:21,569 --> 01:13:24,405 - Excuse me, do you speak English? - No. 1064 01:13:30,495 --> 01:13:32,330 Excuse me. Hi. 1065 01:13:32,414 --> 01:13:35,208 Do you guys speak English? No? 1066 01:13:35,291 --> 01:13:36,960 Thank you. 1067 01:13:42,299 --> 01:13:45,302 Hello. Excuse me? 1068 01:13:46,762 --> 01:13:49,097 I need help. I'm very cold. 1069 01:13:49,181 --> 01:13:50,516 Do you know where maybe they'll help me? 1070 01:13:50,641 --> 01:13:51,892 Do you know where I could go for some help? 1071 01:13:58,190 --> 01:13:59,233 Thank you. 1072 01:14:49,410 --> 01:14:51,495 I only speak English. I'm sorry. 1073 01:14:52,872 --> 01:14:54,498 You are Jew? 1074 01:14:57,335 --> 01:14:58,377 Yeah. 1075 01:14:58,461 --> 01:15:02,340 We are need ten Jew men for make minyan 1076 01:15:03,716 --> 01:15:07,053 for Kaddish. Prayer for dead. 1077 01:15:12,142 --> 01:15:14,477 I don't know the words to the prayers. I'm sorry... 1078 01:15:14,853 --> 01:15:16,104 Is fine! 1079 01:15:52,475 --> 01:15:53,518 Amen. 1080 01:16:06,448 --> 01:16:08,867 Are you okay? 1081 01:16:12,120 --> 01:16:15,082 Yeah, I've... I've lost some people. 1082 01:16:16,166 --> 01:16:17,209 Who? 1083 01:16:19,962 --> 01:16:21,004 My parents. 1084 01:16:57,292 --> 01:16:58,335 Hello. 1085 01:17:03,757 --> 01:17:04,800 Is Herschel. 1086 01:17:06,176 --> 01:17:07,219 Yeah, I figured that out. 1087 01:17:10,180 --> 01:17:12,850 Alexa tell me how to fly here. 1088 01:17:14,935 --> 01:17:18,063 I am truly sorry for doing violence to you. 1089 01:17:19,982 --> 01:17:22,067 And getting you deported to Schlupsk. 1090 01:17:23,944 --> 01:17:24,987 I was wrong. 1091 01:17:27,114 --> 01:17:28,157 It's okay. 1092 01:17:29,533 --> 01:17:30,576 Is not okay. 1093 01:17:32,370 --> 01:17:34,288 I was wrong about you. 1094 01:17:51,097 --> 01:17:53,683 I thought you did not care about family. 1095 01:17:53,975 --> 01:17:56,311 But now I see with your Boop Bops 1096 01:17:56,394 --> 01:17:58,897 you were just trying to honor family. 1097 01:17:59,898 --> 01:18:02,359 This is why you do not sell Boop Bops 1098 01:18:02,442 --> 01:18:04,194 and you sit alone all day. 1099 01:18:04,278 --> 01:18:06,905 Not because you are coward. 1100 01:18:07,781 --> 01:18:11,452 You not sell Boop Bops because you are afraid to let down family. 1101 01:18:12,494 --> 01:18:13,621 But you do not. 1102 01:18:15,289 --> 01:18:17,541 I never met mother or father 1103 01:18:18,459 --> 01:18:19,835 but they would be proud. 1104 01:18:20,920 --> 01:18:24,882 Sarah would be proud. I am very proud. 1105 01:18:26,425 --> 01:18:27,760 You make my vow come true. 1106 01:18:27,844 --> 01:18:31,806 You are everything I hoped family would become. 1107 01:18:37,312 --> 01:18:38,354 Thank you. 1108 01:18:39,564 --> 01:18:40,607 Thank you. 1109 01:18:42,943 --> 01:18:44,611 All right. Come. 1110 01:18:47,739 --> 01:18:49,366 I would like to show you some place. 1111 01:18:52,536 --> 01:18:55,581 This place is really nice. I really get it. 1112 01:18:56,582 --> 01:19:01,045 It's very special place. This was Sarah's favorite place. 1113 01:19:01,462 --> 01:19:02,755 She had good taste. 1114 01:19:02,880 --> 01:19:06,050 She would be very happy to know you see this place. 1115 01:19:06,801 --> 01:19:07,843 I'm glad I got to see it. 1116 01:19:10,930 --> 01:19:13,140 You know, I had an idea the other day. 1117 01:19:13,599 --> 01:19:15,017 What? What is idea? 1118 01:19:15,601 --> 01:19:18,229 - Promise not to laugh? - I promise. 1119 01:19:18,438 --> 01:19:21,691 Okay, so people love your pickles. 1120 01:19:22,191 --> 01:19:24,944 - They do. It's true. - Can't get enough of 'em. 1121 01:19:25,028 --> 01:19:27,280 It's the brine. It make people go crazy. 1122 01:19:27,572 --> 01:19:29,991 And, you know, I'm good with the internet 1123 01:19:30,075 --> 01:19:32,077 good at building websites, things like that. 1124 01:19:32,160 --> 01:19:33,954 So I thought maybe I can build a website 1125 01:19:34,037 --> 01:19:36,122 we sell your pickles to people all around the world. 1126 01:19:36,832 --> 01:19:39,751 - Family business. - Yeah. Family business. 1127 01:19:40,252 --> 01:19:42,296 You can pickle more things than cucumbers these days. 1128 01:19:42,379 --> 01:19:45,173 You can pickle watermelon. You can pickle strawberries. 1129 01:19:45,257 --> 01:19:47,050 They pickle fruit these days? 1130 01:19:47,134 --> 01:19:48,844 Oh, yeah. You thought they were milking a lot? 1131 01:19:48,927 --> 01:19:50,346 Wait till you hear what they're pickling. 1132 01:19:50,471 --> 01:19:52,097 Just when I think I figure it out 1133 01:19:52,264 --> 01:19:54,767 you throw a pickled watermelon at me. I'm like, oof! 1134 01:19:54,934 --> 01:19:56,560 It's a crazy world out there, man. 1135 01:19:57,019 --> 01:19:59,063 Many people still hate Herschel very much. 1136 01:19:59,146 --> 01:20:00,189 That is true. 1137 01:20:00,272 --> 01:20:03,025 I say many terrible things. And if one thing true in America 1138 01:20:03,150 --> 01:20:05,653 once you say terrible things, you will never be success. 1139 01:20:06,028 --> 01:20:07,655 That is not true. At all. 1140 01:20:07,780 --> 01:20:08,948 Oh, that's great news. 1141 01:20:09,240 --> 01:20:10,908 Still, we should make some apologies. 1142 01:20:13,828 --> 01:20:15,663 All I know is that whatever we do next 1143 01:20:16,873 --> 01:20:18,124 we should do it together. 1144 01:20:20,210 --> 01:20:21,252 Together? 1145 01:20:22,504 --> 01:20:24,589 Yeah. Together. 1146 01:21:13,264 --> 01:21:14,307 Do you wanna pray? 1147 01:21:19,729 --> 01:21:20,772 You do not mind? 1148 01:21:22,357 --> 01:21:23,400 I don't mind. 1149 01:21:36,038 --> 01:21:37,081 - Amen. - Amen. 1150 01:22:20,334 --> 01:22:21,668 I like her very much. 1151 01:22:21,752 --> 01:22:23,212 - Barbra Streisand? - Yes. 1152 01:22:23,295 --> 01:22:25,339 This her name? Barbra Streisand. 1153 01:22:26,340 --> 01:22:27,675 - Babs! - Babs! 1154 01:22:28,008 --> 01:22:29,802 - She very pretty. - Oh, yeah. 1155 01:22:29,885 --> 01:22:32,304 - She is Jew. - Oh, yes. 1156 01:22:32,388 --> 01:22:35,474 She is a Jew. Very much Jew. 1157 01:22:36,392 --> 01:22:39,770 Very attractive trait, dress like boy to go to yeshiva. 1158 01:22:40,104 --> 01:22:41,147 I've always said that. 1159 01:22:41,230 --> 01:22:43,775 She little Jew boy. She dress like little Jew boy. 1160 01:22:43,858 --> 01:22:45,652 But little Jew woman underneath there. 1161 01:22:48,196 --> 01:22:49,614 I like this film very much. 1162 01:22:50,698 --> 01:22:52,117 You're really coloring it in a new way. 1163 01:22:52,200 --> 01:22:53,535 - It's very naughty. - It is super naughty the way 1164 01:22:53,618 --> 01:22:56,079 - you describe it. Yeah. - She is married. 1165 01:22:56,413 --> 01:22:57,455 She is. 1166 01:22:57,789 --> 01:22:59,624 One day, Barbara Streisand. 1167 01:23:00,876 --> 01:23:01,918 One day.