1
00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:19,160
MAN 1:
Mars surface ops,
this is Houston.
2
00:00:19,240 --> 00:00:21,480
We're go for data.
3
00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:22,720
MAN 2:
Copy, Houston.
4
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,920
Base pedal temp good.
Remote pedal actuator good.
5
00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:30,000
Probe primary
and auxiliary
transponders a-okay.
6
00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:33,080
Shunt voltage 30.
7
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:38,120
MAN 3:
DSN uplink rate
is now 61.101.
8
00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:40,280
MAN 1:
Copy. We'll see if we can
better that for you.
9
00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,440
This is
the probe's last pass
through this quadrant.
10
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,800
We need all
the data we can get.
11
00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:49,920
MAN 3:
Stand by. We're getting
a low current level here.
12
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:53,600
Voltage is down to 185.
13
00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:57,360
MAN 2:
Here's our rock, fellows.
One-one-niner.
14
00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:58,480
MAN 1:
Beautiful.
15
00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:00,240
MAN 3:
There it is again.
There it is again.
16
00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:02,440
Voltage down to 113.
17
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,120
MAN 1:
Can you repo
the solar arrays?
18
00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:05,200
MAN 2:
Negative.
19
00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:07,440
MPC load is critical.
(BEEPING)
20
00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,680
MAN 1:
Mars surface ops,
we're losing the signal.
21
00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,880
(CRACKLING)
We're losing
the signal here!
22
00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:16,640
Roger that.
Transmission terminated.
23
00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:21,040
Well, people,
congratulations.
(SMATTERING OF APPLAUSE)
24
00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:24,440
We collected data
on over a dozen new rocks.
25
00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:29,560
I'd say this was five years
and three trillion dollars
well spent.
26
00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:31,280
(CHEERING)
27
00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:36,400
(BRAKES SCREECHING)
28
00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:39,480
(HORN HONKING)
29
00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:50,120
(TIRES SQUEALING)
30
00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:10,240
(GRUNTING)
31
00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:18,520
Come on,
gentlemen, keep up.
I want an exclusive
32
00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:20,640
with that policeman
who was in
the Santa Barbara shootout.
33
00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:22,680
I'll take it.
Glad you could
make it, O'Hara.
34
00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:23,920
Prescott?
Yeah?
35
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,400
It's yours.
Take Harrison and
camera car five.
36
00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:27,680
I want it for the 6:00.
It's no good at 10:00.
You got that?
37
00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:28,800
It's no good
at 10:00.
38
00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:30,720
What are you, a parrot?
Get moving.
39
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:32,680
I want footage of
that 1st Monument Bank
40
00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:35,200
that got knocked off
down in Oxnard.
I'm all over it.
41
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:36,280
Van Gundy?
Sir!
42
00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:38,720
And get that security
camera's videotape,
you got that?
43
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:40,880
Yeah. Mmm-hmm.
No tape, no story.
44
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,760
You got it, boss.
Whatever you say, boss.
45
00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:45,360
I like Van Gundy.
46
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:48,040
I need something on
that shuttle launch
tonight at Vandenberg.
47
00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:49,920
Well, that's me.
I know Vandenberg, chief.
48
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,680
Chief?
Who are you, Clark Kent?
49
00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:53,200
Felix, it's yours.
(CHUCKLES)
50
00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:55,360
Get interviews
with all the top
brass involved.
51
00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:58,240
Oh! Take Brace with you.
It's a good story for her
to cut her teeth on.
52
00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:00,480
Okay.
Brace? Are you sure?
53
00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:02,960
Because I usually
produce Brace's
on-camera segments.
54
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:06,760
We're a team. I mean,
we're more than a team.
Brace and I are...
55
00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:08,560
You and my daughter
are what?
56
00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:16,440
Um, nothing.
57
00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:17,560
That's right.
58
00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:20,560
I didn't send Brace
to all those fancy
English boarding schools
59
00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:23,000
to wind up with
the likes of you.
60
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:27,960
Oh, O'Hara,
I've got something here
that's right up your alley.
61
00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:29,960
A senior citizens'
tanning contest
62
00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:31,600
being held tomorrow
at Sunset Pier,
63
00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:34,680
the Hawaiian Tropic
Senior Cocoa Butter Classic.
64
00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:36,440
Huh?
(REPORTERS LAUGHING)
65
00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:39,440
I want footage of
all the old farts baking,
66
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:43,880
an interview with the doctor
on the dangers of sunbathing,
yadda, yadda, yadda.
67
00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:48,600
Something to fill time
if my idiot weatherman
runs short.
68
00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:54,160
Mr. Channing?
Mr. Channing?
Excuse me, sir?
69
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,120
Look, you hired me
70
00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:59,320
because I had
ten years experience
as a newspaper reporter.
71
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:03,280
Now, I will go to
the ends of the Earth
to bring you a great story.
72
00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:04,880
But I need the chance.
73
00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:11,360
You know, Tim,
when I look at you,
I see myself at your age.
74
00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:12,760
Really?
75
00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:14,280
And I was a moron!
76
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:15,640
Huh.
77
00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:17,840
But you got a lot
of nerve, O'Hara,
and I like that.
78
00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:20,480
Sometimes.
Okay, it's yours.
79
00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:21,640
(STUTTERING)
But you said...
80
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,040
Shut up, Felix.
81
00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:25,320
You won't...
You won't regret this, sir.
You really won't.
82
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:28,440
O'Hara! You screw up
on this Vandenberg thing,
83
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:29,800
then you're fired.
Is that clear?
84
00:04:29,840 --> 00:04:31,400
Yeah. Crystal.
85
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:34,640
MAN OVER PA:
Attention, all personnel.
86
00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:37,280
We are T-minus five minutes
and counting.
87
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:39,320
We're here
at the Vandenberg
Air Force Base,
88
00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:40,440
where for
the first time...
89
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,840
Cut. Cut. Brace?
...the shuttle Atlantis
will be launched.
90
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:44,840
Sweetie,
could we lose the gum?
91
00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:45,920
Billy!
92
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,800
Excuse me, Sergeant.
93
00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:49,000
(SPITS)
94
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:50,120
I love show business.
95
00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:52,440
Yeah, okay.
Everybody back to one,
please. Here we go.
96
00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:55,680
Same thing.
In five, four,
three, two...
97
00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:59,720
We're here
at Vandenberg
Air Force Base...
98
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:00,840
We're here
at Vandenberg
Air Force Base...
99
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:02,080
...where just
minutes from now...
100
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:03,520
...where just
minutes from now,
101
00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:05,360
the shuttle Atlantis
will be launching
102
00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:06,720
for the first time
on the west coast.
103
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:08,160
I understand that
Project Deadhead...
104
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,240
I understand that
Project Deadhead
105
00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:12,360
is carrying
a sophisticated satellite...
106
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:13,840
...to study
the Fiona comet.
107
00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:15,680
...to study
the Fiona comet.
108
00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:19,280
Yes, the satellite
has a specialized
guidance system
109
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:23,040
which will allow it
to pass closer to the comet
than ever before.
110
00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:24,840
Yeah, yeah.
Is Jerry Garcia on board?
111
00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:27,160
What?
112
00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:29,880
Is Jerry Garcia
on board?
113
00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:32,560
Is Jerry Garcia
on board?
114
00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:36,240
Well, yes, actually.
115
00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:37,360
Yes!
116
00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:40,240
Project Deadhead
gets its name
from the fact
117
00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:43,880
that its payload
includes the ashes
of famous rocker
118
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:45,880
Jerry Garcia of
the Grateful Dead.
119
00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:48,000
How in the world
did you know that?
120
00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:49,040
It's my job
to know that.
121
00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:50,880
It's my job to know
these things, Captain.
122
00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:52,200
Well.
123
00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:05,600
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
124
00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:13,360
Okay, Lizzie,
go to Brace.
125
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,400
All right, Brace,
here we go.
The big wrap-up.
126
00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:20,200
And so, on this,
the night of
the Fiona Comet...
127
00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:21,560
And so, on this,
128
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,480
the night
of the Fiona Comet,
our thoughts turn
129
00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:27,880
to that satellite's
only passenger,
Jerry Garcia.
130
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,080
I'm Brace Channing...
131
00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,360
I'm Brace Channing
for KGSC.
132
00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:33,440
Thank you,
Captain Dalton.
133
00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:35,600
DALTON:
Thank you.
God, you're beautiful.
134
00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:38,720
God, you're beautiful.
135
00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:40,840
(GASPS)
136
00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:43,120
Thank you.
So are you.
137
00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:45,640
(EXHALES)
And we're out.
138
00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:47,840
Tim, I'd like
a word with you. Now.
139
00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:49,400
And I'm dead.
140
00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:52,920
Colonel?
Yes?
141
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,640
You might want to
take a look at this, sir.
142
00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,880
The Fiona Comet?
So what?
143
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,120
It's changing
direction, sir.
144
00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:02,960
That's impossible.
Are you sure it's not
145
00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:04,640
the trajectory of
our own satellite?
146
00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:08,120
Yes, sir.
The comet's just changed
direction again, sir.
147
00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:09,600
It's gotta
be the equipment.
148
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:10,640
I've got down
the line confirmation.
149
00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:14,000
No, sir.
Our backup computers
verify all systems go.
150
00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:16,480
It's...
It's coming down, sir.
151
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:17,520
The satellite?
152
00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:19,600
No, sir. The comet.
153
00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:22,600
Okay, let's go
to general alert.
154
00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:24,880
Major,
scramble the F-16s.
Yes, sir!
155
00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:27,320
Sergeant, get SETI group
on the line.
Copy that.
156
00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:30,200
Showtime, boys.
We got ourselves a UFO.
157
00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:32,800
Excuse me.
Whoa.
158
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:35,280
What's this?
159
00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:37,760
It's Captain Dalton's
telephone number.
160
00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:40,320
Well, he's not
really my type, but...
161
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,720
You made me look
such an idiot.
162
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:44,160
Brace, come on.
Let me explain.
163
00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:46,760
No. You just wait
until I tell my daddy.
164
00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:48,240
No, Br...
Billy!
165
00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:50,040
Wait, Brace, come on!
Wait a minute! Look, I...
166
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:51,360
It was nice
knowing you.
167
00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:54,000
Ooh-hoo! Let us know
where you end up.
168
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:55,120
(SIGHS)
169
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:56,680
It wasn't
a complete disaster.
170
00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:58,520
Oh, compared to what?
171
00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:00,680
The Hindenburg?
(CHUCKLES)
172
00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:04,040
Titanic.
I'm sorry, pal.
173
00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,360
(CHUCKLES)
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
174
00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:07,600
Sorry.
175
00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:13,920
(MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR RADIO)
176
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:20,480
♪ The blues kept
knocking upon my door ♪
177
00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:22,480
(RADIO STATIONS CHANGING)
Get your nose up!
Pull up! Let's go!
178
00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:24,880
I said up,
not out of joint!
179
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,000
We're going down!
180
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:30,480
Mayday! Mayday!
181
00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:32,480
Oh, not another ticket.
182
00:08:32,560 --> 00:08:34,160
(ENGINE ROARING)
183
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:36,160
What...
184
00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:42,120
Whoa!
185
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:43,520
(TIRES SQUEALING)
186
00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:47,480
(ELECTRONIC BLEEPING)
187
00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,080
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
188
00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:01,120
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
189
00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:05,880
(GASPS)
190
00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:08,520
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(SCREAMS)
191
00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:11,760
Are you crazy?
You could have
totaled my car!
192
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:13,800
Did you see it?
Did you see it?
See what?
193
00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:15,920
(STAMMERING)
There was a crash.
A plane or some...
194
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,760
It was like
a stealth fighter.
I don't know.
195
00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:19,600
It happened so fast!
196
00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:22,000
Oh, my God,
a plane crash!
197
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:25,200
Well, that's terrible!
We don't even
have any video!
198
00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:27,080
TIM: It's over here.
199
00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:30,160
BRACE:
Tim, wait for me!
200
00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:31,280
Humans.
201
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:34,240
Wait, not so fast!
It's my story, too,
remember?
202
00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:35,400
(ELECTRONIC BEEPING)
203
00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:44,000
What was that?
Hmm? What was what?
204
00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:45,800
It was this flicker, this...
This light that...
205
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:46,880
Hmm.
206
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:48,280
Never mind.
207
00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:49,800
What, Tim?
208
00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:52,760
Tim, wait!
Oh, my heel!
209
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,520
These are really
expensive shoes,
you know.
210
00:09:58,160 --> 00:09:59,120
(GASPS)
211
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:00,840
(BREATHING)
212
00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,480
Come on, Tim,
where is it?
213
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:06,160
It was this huge thing.
It was this...
214
00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:08,440
You know, it's really
creepy out here.
215
00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:12,880
(SIZZLING)
(GRUNTING) Ow!
216
00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:17,640
Tim?
217
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:21,040
You've got 30 seconds
and I'm leaving!
218
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:22,360
Huh.
219
00:10:22,680 --> 00:10:23,840
(MUMBLING)
220
00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:29,440
(GROANS)
221
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:31,680
Look at this.
(SCREAMS)
222
00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:32,760
What's that?
223
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:34,920
I don't know.
I don't know.
224
00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:36,720
Is this your idea
of a joke?
225
00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:38,000
No, I swear to you.
Look at it...
226
00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:39,360
I mean,
this thing was huge.
227
00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:40,760
Oh, really?
228
00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:43,760
And I thought
you were one of
the normal ones.
229
00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:46,320
(ALIEN BREATHING HEAVILY)
I am one of
the normal ones, normally.
230
00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:48,600
(SCOFFS)
Ha ha ha.
231
00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:50,840
(LAUGHS)
232
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,480
Nice try, Tim.
233
00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:54,360
You and me,
alone on the beach,
234
00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:56,520
on the night of
a lunar eclipse,
no less.
235
00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:57,600
I didn't make this up.
236
00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:00,080
Keep this as a memento
of our last date.
237
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,280
Last date?
We haven't even
had our first date!
238
00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:04,440
(ENGINE STARTING)
Well, consider this both.
239
00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:06,840
Brace? Brace!
(TIRES SCREECHING)
240
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:11,440
(GRUNTING)
241
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:15,200
(GRUNTING) Ah.
242
00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:16,760
Nurplex.
243
00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:18,400
(EXCLAIMING)
244
00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:20,880
Mmm.
245
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:28,240
(CAR SPUTTERING)
246
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:35,400
(INHALES DEEPLY)
247
00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:37,400
Humans.
248
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:40,880
Come on,
come on, come on.
(ENGINE SPUTTERING)
249
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:44,960
Come on.
250
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:46,560
Savages.
251
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:47,920
(CAR SPUTTERS)
252
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,360
(ENGINE STARTS)
253
00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:08,360
(BACKFIRES)
254
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:13,920
(CAR SPUTTERING)
255
00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:32,600
Tim!
(GASPS) Mrs. Brown.
256
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:34,600
Too much lipstick?
257
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,480
Uh, well,
no, no, no, no.
258
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:41,280
No, it's just
that you...
259
00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:43,480
Kind of appeared,
that's all.
260
00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:45,800
I saved you some of
my special brownies.
261
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:48,200
Mrs. Brown, brownies.
Get it? (CHUCKLES)
262
00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:49,960
Yes, that's good.
There you go.
263
00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:51,800
Thank you very much.
264
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,480
Did you see
the eclipse?
265
00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:55,560
Wasn't it
tres magnifique?
266
00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:57,440
Those French tapes
are really paying off,
aren't they?
267
00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,000
Oh, you noticed.
(CHUCKLES)
268
00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:01,120
Thanks for the brownies,
Mrs. Brown.
269
00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:04,160
Oh, Tim.
I wanted to remind you
270
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,920
about the charity
rummage sale
this weekend.
271
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,200
If you have anything
you want to donate,
272
00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:09,800
you just leave
it in the garage
and I'll pick it up.
273
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:12,160
Well, trust me,
this will be right
on top of the pile.
274
00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:13,320
Ah.
275
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:14,840
Good night,
Mrs. Brown.
276
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:16,520
One more thing
I wanted to tell you, Tim.
277
00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:18,800
(DOOR CLOSES)
Oh, good night, Tim.
278
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,680
(SIGHS)
279
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,800
I'm having
a bad night.
280
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:40,680
I couldn't agree with you
more completely.
281
00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:42,040
Shut up.
282
00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:44,240
How do you do it?
283
00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:46,440
(ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS)
O'Hara here.
Please leave a message,
284
00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:47,520
and make it short.
285
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,000
(ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS)
286
00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:51,920
Channing here.
You're fired.
287
00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:54,560
Short enough for you?
(RECEIVER CLICKS)
288
00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:57,680
What more can I say?
When you're right,
you're right!
289
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:00,080
(WHEEZING)
290
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:01,520
(COUGHING)
291
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:20,320
(ELECTRONIC WHIRRING)
292
00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:26,240
(GASPS) Hmm.
293
00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:37,880
(GROANS)
294
00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:45,680
(GASPS)
295
00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:48,440
Stay where you are,
little Earth man,
296
00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:50,600
and no harm
will come to you.
297
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,600
Say, I wish
I'd thought of that.
298
00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:55,480
TIM: Hello?
299
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:57,920
What more can I say?
When you're right,
you're right!
300
00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:58,960
Be silent.
301
00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:00,600
How do you do it?
302
00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:02,600
I thought I told you
to shut up.
303
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:05,160
I couldn't agree
with you more...
304
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,080
You leave me no choice.
305
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:11,800
Who's there?
I got a gun!
306
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:26,480
Static. (GROANS)
307
00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:47,240
Hey, buddy.
Hey. Hey.
308
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:48,400
(MOANS SOFTLY)
309
00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:50,640
Hey!
310
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:52,520
(GRUNTS)
That's it, Earthling!
311
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,240
It's alive!
312
00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:58,120
(BOTH GRUNTING)
313
00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:01,840
Okay, you wanna
play games?
314
00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:04,600
Slide through.
315
00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:07,400
I must be going...
(GRUNTS) nuts.
316
00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:08,960
(LAUGHS)
317
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,720
One strike, no balls.
318
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:14,520
Over here, Tiger Woods.
(CHUCKLING)
319
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,000
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
320
00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:17,440
(SCREAMS)
321
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:19,040
Hey, look,
Jimmy Hoffa.
322
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:21,040
Leisure suit from hell!
323
00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:23,440
(WHIMPERING)
324
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:30,960
I'm gonna
mutilate you!
325
00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:38,400
Come on,
show your face.
If you had one.
326
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:43,920
Where'd he go?
327
00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:48,560
What the heck was
in those brownies?
328
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:55,320
When dealing with
primitive life forms,
329
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:58,200
sometimes one must
resort to primitive acts.
330
00:16:58,240 --> 00:16:59,280
Are you okay, Zoot?
331
00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:00,960
(COUGHING)
332
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:03,080
If you don't
mind my asking,
where were you?
333
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:04,600
This alien was
trying to kill me!
334
00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:06,400
Don't be such
a wet blanket.
335
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:09,720
Wait a minute.
Leave my mother out
of this, you big...
336
00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:11,760
It's your fault
we ended up on this
no-good, carbon-based,
337
00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:13,800
over-oxygenated,
miserable excuse of a...
338
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:15,800
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
LIZZIE: Tim?
339
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,120
Oh, no.
It's another one!
340
00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:19,880
LIZZIE: I know you're
not asleep yet.
341
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:21,760
Tim, it's Lizzie!
342
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:24,400
(GASPS)
Blotz! It's Lizzie!
343
00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:25,920
What's a Lizzie?
344
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,560
I would say
a Model T Ford,
345
00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:29,720
but this one
has better tires.
346
00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:31,360
Ah-ooga! Ah-ooga!
347
00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:33,360
I know what a woman is,
but what do I do with it?
348
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:36,920
Help, Mr. Lifeguard,
I'm drowning.
I need mouth-to-mouth.
349
00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:39,440
Ugh! A saliva exchange?
350
00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:42,280
I would never partake
in such an unsanitary
interaction.
351
00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:43,760
There must be
some other way
to greet a female
352
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:44,880
and then be rid of it.
353
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:46,600
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Tim!
354
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:49,080
If it was me,
I'd be he.
355
00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:50,680
Tim, please.
356
00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:52,240
Good thinking, Zoot.
357
00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:13,880
LIZZIE: Okay, Tim,
I'm picking up
the hide-a-key.
358
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,080
Gonna open the door.
359
00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:18,600
(KEY TURNING)
360
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:22,640
Tim?
361
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:24,480
Lizzie!
362
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,640
My dear friend
or family member.
363
00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:29,160
Oh, my gosh.
364
00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:31,600
Oh, inappropriate.
365
00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:33,160
Oh, boy.
366
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,240
ZOOT:
I told you they cover
their flingdat here.
367
00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:40,360
Lizzie, my dear friend
or family member.
368
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:42,760
You sound funny.
Are you catching
a cold?
369
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:44,920
A cold, a virus?
(DEEP VOICE) Yes.
370
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,760
(VOICE CHANGING)
A contagious bubonic plague.
You better leave.
371
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:50,400
(CHUCKLING) What?
What in the world...
372
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,040
Are you a Trekkie?
373
00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:56,520
Yes, I am.
374
00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:59,200
Okay, what's going on?
375
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:00,680
What's going on?
376
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:03,480
Tim, are you okay?
You don't seem
like yourself.
377
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:04,800
Oh, I'm Tim, all right.
Tim O'Hara,
378
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:06,400
no reason to doubt it.
379
00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:07,680
What's going on?
380
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:09,360
Lots.
381
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:15,040
Huh?
382
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:16,800
(MOANING)
383
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:24,880
Lizzie.
384
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:26,320
Yeah?
385
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,720
If you're my sister,
an explanation
is in order.
386
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:30,800
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
387
00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:33,840
Does this mean
that you and I are...
388
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:36,320
Indeed. Now,
if you'll excuse me,
389
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,760
I have work to do,
and you...
Hey. What?
390
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:40,600
...need to go.
391
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:41,920
Wha...
392
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:47,640
Human emotions.
393
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,240
Crazy monkeys.
394
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,080
(HUMMING)
395
00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:58,280
(SIREN WAILING)
396
00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:10,800
(BEEPING)
397
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,480
(MAN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)
398
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:17,880
Welcome, sir.
399
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:22,760
Where's Coleye?
400
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:26,400
Examining
mucus-type protoplasm.
401
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,120
It's saline-based.
402
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:34,880
Good God, Coleye,
put that on a slide
next time.
403
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:38,600
I want this stuff analyzed
and the cigarette dusted
for prints.
404
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:40,640
I want to know
whose this was.
405
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:42,400
There's more, sir.
406
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:47,880
COLEYE:
Quadruped becomes biped?
407
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,360
It must have
taken human form.
408
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,800
The footprints stop
at the road.
409
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:55,480
We think someone
may have picked them up.
410
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:57,680
Evidence of a crash,
411
00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:00,680
no spaceship,
an alien in human form?
412
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,320
It's just like
the incident of '64.
413
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:05,920
Keep your mouth shut,
you idiot.
414
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,360
That incident is
not only classified,
415
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:10,600
but it never happened,
you got it?
416
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:11,680
Yes, sir.
417
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:14,640
And once again,
we have no alien
and no UFO.
418
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:17,240
If you can't
get me either one,
419
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,640
then you'd better
start looking
for another job.
420
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:22,600
Well, you heard him! Move it!
It's out there somewhere!
421
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:24,280
So, move it! Go!
Scram! Move!
Yes, sir!
422
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:28,640
And God help
the poor soul
423
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:30,320
who picked him up.
424
00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:41,960
(SCREAMS)
425
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:45,200
Silence, subculturer!
426
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:46,320
Let me down!
427
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:49,400
Look what you did to me.
Barbarian!
428
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:50,520
Let me down!
429
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:52,000
As you wish.
430
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:53,120
(ELECTRONIC BUZZ)
(SCREAMS)
431
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:54,400
(CRASHES)
432
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:56,000
(GRUNTS)
433
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:01,720
For a thief,
you are extremely clumsy.
434
00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:03,840
Thief? I'm not a thief.
435
00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:05,280
So I see.
436
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:08,280
Tim O'Hara.
You are a reporter.
437
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:11,280
Reporter? No, no.
I'm a producer, pal.
438
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:12,720
Let me tell you...
(ELECTRONIC BUZZING)
439
00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:14,040
(SCREAMING)
440
00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:17,360
Look, I didn't
steal anything, okay?
441
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:18,640
I don't know what
you're talking about.
442
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:19,920
All right, all right.
443
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,000
(ELECTRONIC BUZZING)
444
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:23,360
No, no, no!
(COUGHING)
445
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:27,600
Warning, Tim O'Hara.
Any attempt to expose me
will be useless.
446
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:29,880
Martians use 100%
of their brain capacity.
447
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:31,480
Humans less than 10%.
448
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:33,560
I think we use
more than 10%.
449
00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:36,600
Your astronauts pee
in their spacesuits.
450
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:37,920
Case closed.
451
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,200
(GRUNTING)
452
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:45,920
Okay. Okay, just...
453
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:47,240
(ELECTRONIC WHIRRING)
454
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:51,800
Whoa.
455
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:05,920
Okay, it's just a dream.
Just a very bad dream.
456
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:08,040
(PANTING)
457
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:10,080
Just... Come on.
Wake up. Wake up!
458
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:12,600
ZOOT:
What's with that?
459
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:16,000
I believe it's called
a nervous breakdown.
460
00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:18,520
Last night
did not happen.
461
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:20,600
I don't believe
in aliens.
462
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:22,480
I heard that!
463
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:24,960
To us,
you are the alien.
464
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:28,320
If you must know,
I am from the planet
you call Mars.
465
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:30,400
And what,
I'm from Uranus?
I never...
466
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:32,280
I was getting to you!
467
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:34,400
Don't get a crease
in your Sputnik.
468
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:36,840
Please,
just introduce me
to monkey boy.
469
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,280
This is my Zoot.
470
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:43,480
A polymorphic
Zootenex 3000.
471
00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:44,760
Just look, don't touch.
472
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:46,560
Your suit talks?
473
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,560
(SCOFFS) Incessantly.
474
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:50,400
Corduroys talk,
nobody gives them grief.
475
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:51,760
Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh.
476
00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:53,480
Mars? Wait a minute.
(STUTTERING)
477
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:56,440
There's no life on Mars.
We've sent probes.
478
00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:58,160
I'd try to explain it,
but you people
479
00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:00,120
still think "E"
equals "MC" squared.
480
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,240
You're still trying
to analyze our rocks.
481
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:04,320
(HYDRAULIC HISSING)
482
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:07,560
Oh! Blasted sand particles.
483
00:24:08,120 --> 00:24:11,120
They've
completely crystallized
the vortex generator.
484
00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:12,960
Hey, do you mind?
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
485
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:14,840
MRS. BROWN: Tim!
(GASPS)
486
00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:17,000
Now what?
Thank God,
an eyewitness.
487
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:18,200
Eyewitness? Negative.
488
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:19,720
You must tell no one.
No offense, pal,
489
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:22,280
but your ship
is double-parked
in my living room. Okay?
490
00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:25,000
You're the biggest story
in the history of mankind.
491
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:27,240
There is
intelligent life out there
in the universe.
492
00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:29,440
I hope you're not
including yourself
in that statement.
493
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:32,560
Oh, Tim, listen,
I'm so sorry to bother you
so early in the morning,
494
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:34,000
but I got a hold
of your mail,
and I wanted...
495
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:35,520
Could you just...
Please, come here.
496
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:38,160
Come here.
Take a look at that!
497
00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:40,000
(TIM SCREAMS)
498
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:44,320
Tim, you definitely
need a maid.
499
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:46,040
Oh, hello.
500
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:49,320
Greetings.
501
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:53,040
Oh, I'm sorry
to catch you
in your pajamas.
502
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:54,840
Pajamas?
(MUFFLED YELLING)
503
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:57,040
(STAMMERING)
Where's the spaceship?
504
00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:58,760
MRS. BROWN: Spaceship?
505
00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:01,080
Right here.
Oh, for the rummage sale!
506
00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:02,720
Does it come with
an action figure?
507
00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:04,280
You're looking at him.
MRS. BROWN: Oh.
(CHUCKLES)
508
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:05,880
I don't believe
we've met. Hi, I'm...
509
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:07,160
No, no, no,
don't touch him!
510
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:08,800
He's a Martian.
Tim, what's going on?
511
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:10,880
(STUTTERING)
I beg your...
Martin? A Martin?
512
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:12,400
Yes, you're correct.
Martin. Martin.
513
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:14,800
No, no, no, no!
He's a...
514
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:15,960
Uncle
515
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:18,000
Martin.
516
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:19,280
Oh.
517
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:20,800
Well, it's a pleasure
to meet you.
518
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:22,400
He turns invisible,
okay?
519
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:24,080
His suit talks.
He's got a talking suit.
520
00:25:24,120 --> 00:25:26,280
He's got these things that
pop out of his head...
You just...
521
00:25:26,360 --> 00:25:27,640
Show her.
Go ahead. Come on,
give her the finger.
522
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:29,200
Tim!
523
00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:33,280
No, I didn't mean that.
I don't know what I mean.
Just forget it.
524
00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:35,280
You'll have to
forgive Tim,
Mrs. Brown.
525
00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:36,760
He lost his job
last night,
526
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:38,760
and he's experiencing
a nervous breakdown.
527
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:40,280
Oh, poor dear.
528
00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:42,400
I hope it doesn't
affect the rent.
529
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:43,600
(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)
530
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:45,080
Don't worry,
I'm here to
look after him.
531
00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:46,160
TIM: Ha!
532
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:49,880
He's very lucky to
have an uncle like you
in his life, Martin.
533
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:52,360
And you, Mrs. Brown,
are like a brilliant quasar
534
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:54,240
in the black hole
of my day.
535
00:25:54,360 --> 00:25:55,480
Oh.
536
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:57,240
Call me Lorelei.
537
00:25:57,720 --> 00:25:58,960
Lorelei.
538
00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:04,160
The sound of
pure mountain spring water
from the center of the Earth.
539
00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:05,920
Oh, my. (CHUCKLES)
540
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:13,080
(SLURPING)
(STAMMERING)
541
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,640
Oh! (CHUCKLES)
542
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:20,960
I obviously misconstrued
a custom. I apologize.
543
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,360
I'm from New York.
544
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:27,200
No, actually, it's...
It's fine.
545
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:29,600
It's perfect.
546
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:31,200
(SIGHS)
547
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:32,480
Oh, brother.
548
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:33,920
Oh, Martin?
549
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:36,000
Yes, Lorelei?
550
00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:41,640
Mr. Brown passed away
several years ago.
551
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:45,480
I thought you might
like to know that.
Hmm.
552
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:46,880
Mmm-hmm.
553
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:48,960
Au revoir.
(CHUCKLES)
554
00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:52,640
Hmm?
555
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:55,600
Just for the record,
a handshake will do
for me.
556
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:57,160
(SCOFFS)
Do you think that
I actually enjoyed
557
00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:59,360
tasting that
female's exoskeleton?
558
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:00,640
(SHUDDERS)
559
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:03,680
I merely used my data
on your primitive species
to determine
560
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:06,040
the optimum way
to avoid suspicion.
561
00:27:06,120 --> 00:27:08,400
Yeah, but what's
the optimum way
to get home?
562
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:09,720
(SCOFFS) Blotz!
563
00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:14,240
I don't know, Zoot.
Where on this barbaric
swamp of a planet
564
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:16,880
can we find the makings
of an electron accelerator?
565
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:18,480
Maybe your new
girlfriend has one.
566
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:20,760
Oh, that's very funny.
(LAUGHS MOCKINGLY)
567
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:24,560
Excuse me, fellows,
I don't mean to
interrupt, but I...
568
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:26,280
You know,
I think I might be able
569
00:27:26,360 --> 00:27:28,840
to help you find
that electron thing.
570
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:31,160
We're toast.
571
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:33,680
I don't believe this.
You really think you can
572
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:35,680
repair your ship
with all this junk?
573
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:38,520
Everything has
been carefully chosen for
its potential to fashion
574
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:40,800
a crude vortex
electron accelerator.
575
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:43,880
Except for this.
A pooper scooper.
576
00:27:44,120 --> 00:27:46,880
I have no idea
what it does,
but it's fascinating.
577
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:50,200
Excuse me.
Where are your nuclear
implosion couplers?
578
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:53,360
For a garden hose?
579
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:58,720
I'm never going to get off
this infernal planet.
580
00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:00,720
ZOOT:
The IQ of a pancake.
581
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:02,040
You're right.
Humans are truly
582
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:03,120
the amoebas
of the universe.
583
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:05,320
Yeah, this from a guy
who talks to
his tinfoil suit.
584
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:07,360
Hey, what was that for?
585
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:08,880
It wasn't me,
it was Zoot.
586
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:10,280
(ZOOT LAUGHING)
587
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:14,080
Come here a sec.
Listen,
588
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:15,720
you've been on Earth,
what, all of 10 minutes?
589
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:18,160
It's not so bad here.
(CHUCKLES)
That's what Neenurt said.
590
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:20,040
Who?
Exactly.
591
00:28:20,120 --> 00:28:22,360
One of my planet's
most gifted scientists,
592
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:25,040
and now he's gone
without a trace.
593
00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:27,080
He arrived on Earth
in 1964,
594
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:28,920
and, I presume,
was abducted by
your government.
595
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:30,560
I shudder to think
what they did to him
596
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:31,640
in the name of science.
(COUPLE LAUGHING)
597
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:32,760
Yes, well...
What are they
laughing at?
598
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:33,920
(CONTINUES LAUGHING)
599
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:35,440
Hey, space man!
600
00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:36,880
I've been discovered!
601
00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:38,800
(ELECTRONIC BUZZ)
(GASPS)
602
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:41,200
(GRUNTING)
Sorry about that.
603
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:42,920
Oh, my...
What happened?
604
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:45,240
They don't know anything.
They were just
making fun of your...
605
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:48,720
Making fun. I'm one of
the best-dressed beings
on my planet.
606
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:50,560
Yo, Elvis!
Nice suit.
607
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:51,760
Well, Dorothy,
I hate to tell you this,
608
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:54,200
but you're not
in Kansas anymore.
609
00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:57,440
ZOOT:
That's great.
The minute I turn my back,
610
00:28:57,480 --> 00:28:59,600
you're getting into
someone else's pants.
611
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:01,280
MARTIN:
I need to blend in,
and you stand out
612
00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:02,840
like a putt stick
at a blackbelt convention.
613
00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:04,640
I should have known
by the way you've
been gawking
614
00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:06,200
at every T-shirt
and sweatpant we pass.
615
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:08,240
Don't come apart
at the seams.
616
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:10,720
Why is Zoot always
the last to know?
617
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:12,000
All right,
all right, all right!
618
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:13,120
(ZOOT SOBBING)
619
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:15,240
Martian footage,
take one.
620
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:17,640
MARTIN: Zoot, this is
tearing me apart, too.
621
00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:19,760
I know I'm not
what I used to be.
622
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:22,240
I mean,
a stretch mark here,
a line stain there.
623
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:24,440
(ZOOT SOBBING)
624
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:26,360
(SCREAMS)
625
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:30,080
Hey!
626
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:31,760
Pervert!
627
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:34,440
It's not safe for
a woman around here.
628
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:36,800
I'm ready
to blend in now.
629
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:43,000
Outstanding.
630
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:44,840
Martin,
that outfit looks ridic...
631
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:46,560
Styling, bro!
632
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:47,920
Thanks, bro.
633
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:49,520
(CHUCKLES)
Real cool.
634
00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:51,720
I've got the touch
on two planets.
635
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:53,960
I gotta get out more.
How did your Zoot
take the...
636
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,480
Zoot,
he's highly intelligent.
He understands.
637
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:57,960
(SCREAMING)
638
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,000
You used me,
you buttonhole!
639
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:03,760
Go and have your fling.
Colors fade! You'll see!
640
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:04,840
WOMAN: Hello?
641
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:06,480
Huh? Oh, incoming.
642
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:09,040
Hello? Man.
643
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:12,480
Oh, geez!
644
00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:16,520
Talk about a tacky suit!
(CHUCKLES)
645
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:17,680
Tacky, huh?
646
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:21,880
Hey! Hey! What?
647
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:26,360
Now,
turn the other cheek.
648
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:27,880
(LOUD SLAP)
WOMAN: Hey!
649
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:28,920
(SHUDDERS)
650
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:30,040
(EXHALES)
651
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:32,040
Catch you later,
Spanky.
652
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:34,480
(EXHALES)
653
00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:38,040
All right,
I'm busting out!
654
00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:39,320
There you go.
655
00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:40,840
Go ahead,
try them all on.
656
00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:42,400
See if I care.
657
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:43,880
Whoa!
658
00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:47,400
If love is a crime,
lock me up.
659
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:51,640
I'm guilty.
Look at her.
660
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:53,800
A perfect size six,
661
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:56,320
and never been worn.
662
00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:01,040
Darling, don't speak.
Just come to me.
663
00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:02,320
(CHUCKLES)
664
00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:06,240
Oh, this is crazy.
I'm a polymorph
and you're a polyester.
665
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:09,320
Yes, you're synthetic,
but I like that in a girl.
666
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:11,440
Give me
some thread, baby!
(KISSING)
667
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:14,720
Oh, what's this,
Velcro? Oh!
668
00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:15,800
Zoot!
(GASPS)
669
00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:17,000
No, thank you,
little girl,
670
00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:18,280
I don't want to
buy any cookies.
671
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:20,800
You lecherous leotard!
Have you no shame?
672
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:23,840
Look who's talking,
Mr. Clotheshorse.
673
00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:28,680
Now, in you go,
or you'll take a long walk
on a short hanger.
674
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:30,840
Coming in for a landing!
Flaps down!
675
00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:31,920
(FLATULENT SOUND)
676
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:35,040
I said bag it, mister!
677
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:37,600
All right, all right,
you don't have to
throw me in the hamper.
678
00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:39,720
(GRUNTING)
679
00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:41,520
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
680
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:43,240
Dork.
681
00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:49,040
Next time,
the dry cleaner.
682
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:50,240
Bite these.
(GASPS)
683
00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:52,760
You... Blasted nurplex!
684
00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:56,400
Oh, Venus, Neptune!
685
00:31:57,440 --> 00:31:58,480
Help me, Tim!
686
00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:00,120
Mmm-hmm.
687
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:02,640
Tim, it's a little
blue one!
688
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:04,960
No! Give me that,
689
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:08,240
you age-impaired
little blotz.
690
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:10,320
Mine! Gum!
691
00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:12,000
Mine! Nurplex!
692
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:13,440
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
693
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:16,080
(ROARS)
694
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:17,640
(SCREAMS)
695
00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:19,160
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
696
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:24,320
Why wouldn't you
give the kid
a piece of gum?
697
00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:27,720
(SCOFFS)
Okay, sure, right.
Here, have one.
698
00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:29,520
Come on, let's go.
No, no, come on.
699
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:30,640
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
700
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:31,840
Never mind. Trust me.
701
00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:34,040
No, not the finger!
Don't do the finger!
Try some.
702
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:35,160
Why?
703
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:36,800
You don't want to
try Martian gum?
704
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:38,240
No, not particularly.
705
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:40,640
Afraid, Earthling?
706
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:50,640
You know what,
that is not bad.
707
00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:54,160
The center's got
a nice little zing to it.
708
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:55,760
Notice anything different?
709
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:58,640
Hmm, no.
No, not really.
710
00:32:58,840 --> 00:32:59,920
What time do you have?
711
00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:02,840
(SCREAMS)
712
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:04,880
(GASPS)
713
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:06,360
(SCREAMING)
714
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:08,440
(GASPS)
715
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:10,120
Spit, spit, spit.
716
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:11,880
(GROANING)
717
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:14,200
(GROANING CONTINUES)
718
00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:17,240
Everything okay
in there?
719
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:19,960
Zipper trouble.
720
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:21,280
Yeow!
721
00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:24,040
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
722
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:25,760
This "gum,"
as you call it,
723
00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:28,440
allows me to take on
the outward appearance
of a human being.
724
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:30,080
On you,
it has the reverse effect.
725
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:33,680
Oh, so that's what
you really look like.
726
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:36,720
Don't be disgusting.
That was Fluvian nurplex.
727
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:39,560
Oh.
We carry many
different planets.
728
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:44,680
If you think that was bad,
this is Veenox Seven.
729
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:46,080
Oh, well, that's...
730
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:48,600
Don't ever mess
with Veenox Seven.
731
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:52,880
When it comes
to Veenox Seven,
just say no.
732
00:33:57,400 --> 00:33:59,280
♪ Me man got fire
733
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:01,840
♪ Me so on fire
feeling hot, hot, hot ♪
734
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:04,760
All right, come on,
the rest of you,
come on up on stage!
735
00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:08,160
The sun,
while you can get it.
The sand, the surf.
736
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:10,840
Usually,
the beach conjures up
images of our youth,
737
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:13,520
but come on down
to Sunset Pier today,
738
00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:15,800
and your
contraceptions of...
739
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:18,000
Preconceptions!
Contraceptions.
740
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:20,000
Preconceptions.
Felix!
741
00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:22,600
I said "preconceptions."
I swear, "preconceptions."
742
00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:24,080
Billy! Billy!
I said "preconceptions!"
743
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:26,000
I know I said
"preconceptions"!
744
00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:28,040
I should listen
to my parents
and be a doctor.
745
00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:29,400
I hate this!
746
00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:31,280
Ooh!
(GASPS)
747
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:33,160
Are we still rolling?
748
00:34:33,240 --> 00:34:34,800
Nobody said "cut."
749
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:36,080
♪ Feelin' hot, hot, hot ♪
750
00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:37,800
What do you think?
751
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:39,520
I think your bathing suit
should have a top.
752
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:42,360
(STAMMERING)
Cut! Cut! Cut!
753
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:43,800
(GRUNTING)
Felix!
754
00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:48,080
(SIGHS) Felix is toast.
755
00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:49,760
If Tim doesn't
get here soon,
756
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:51,280
we could all be
looking for work.
757
00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:52,960
(MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
758
00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:58,160
Wait here.
759
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:02,280
What is the meaning
of this divergence?
760
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:03,480
I gotta see
some friends.
761
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:05,480
Negative!
Exclamation point.
762
00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:08,400
We're wasting
valuable time.
My ship must...
763
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:10,000
Look at that!
764
00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:14,320
Do you have any idea
how fortunate you are?
765
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:17,640
The only water we
get back on Mars has to
be squeezed from rocks.
766
00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:18,960
Yeah, well,
surf's up, dude.
767
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:20,920
Tim, I'm so glad
you came.
768
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:22,320
Hurricane Brace
hit again.
769
00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:23,720
Oh, okay.
Uh, Martin?
770
00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:24,960
I gotta go.
I'll be right...
771
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,440
Lizzie. How nice
to see you again.
772
00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:29,920
Have we met?
Of course...
773
00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:34,760
Not. How nice to
see you again
for the first time.
774
00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:37,320
I'm Tim's Uncle Martin.
775
00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:39,360
Oh, I...
(RUMBLING)
776
00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:45,920
I, uh...
(RUMBLING CONTINUES)
777
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:51,560
What was that?
778
00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:54,080
I must find nourishment.
779
00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:55,480
That came
from your stomach?
780
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:56,800
Stomachs.
781
00:35:57,520 --> 00:36:00,040
Oh, he is... (CHUCKLES)
He is such a kidder.
782
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:01,680
Listen, I'll be with you
in couple minutes, okay?
783
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:05,040
You just...
I'll be right over.
Tell her to...
784
00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:07,320
We gotta
get you... Ah!
785
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:10,040
(STOMACH RUMBLING)
786
00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:14,440
Excuse me,
could I have
a double dip...
787
00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:17,400
Actually,
make that a triple dip.
Chocolate chip, please.
788
00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:18,560
Yes, sir.
789
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:21,200
Tim, I need nourishment,
not colored buckets
of frozen lard.
790
00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:23,400
Look, this is very
nutritious food here
on Earth.
791
00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:24,640
We eat this
for breakfast.
792
00:36:24,720 --> 00:36:28,000
Tim, you don't
need to try poison
to know that it kills.
793
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:31,080
Here, take this.
794
00:36:31,240 --> 00:36:32,600
Give me
five minutes, okay?
795
00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:33,920
I have to go
to the news van.
796
00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:36,560
(GROANS)
797
00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:38,160
BRACE: Felix!
798
00:36:38,240 --> 00:36:40,480
FELIX:
I said "preconceptions,"
I swear! "Preconceptions!"
799
00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:42,120
You unprofessional
little man!
800
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:44,720
All you have to do
is come up with
the dumb things I say!
801
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:45,960
(FELIX GROANING)
802
00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:48,440
Billy!
803
00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:50,760
Brace! Brace!
804
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:53,760
You'd rate
this tantrum?
805
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:56,160
About a seven-five
on the Brace scale.
806
00:36:56,240 --> 00:36:57,560
I'll talk to Felix.
807
00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:00,040
You never told me
about your uncle.
808
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:02,520
Are you...
809
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:05,840
Look, I'm glad
you beeped me.
We really need to talk.
810
00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:07,640
This is... This is big.
This is really big.
Yeah, I know.
811
00:37:07,720 --> 00:37:09,440
I know.
You do?
812
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:11,440
Yes. Look,
I've been thinking,
813
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:14,880
and our friendship
really means a lot to me,
814
00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:16,560
and I don't want
to screw that up.
815
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:17,600
Okay.
816
00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:18,680
So I think
it would be better
817
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:23,200
if we just pretended
that nothing ever happened
between us last night.
818
00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:24,800
What happened
last night?
819
00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:26,120
Exactly!
820
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:27,920
I'm not sure
I understand what...
821
00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:29,280
Me either.
822
00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:38,720
I guess we're both
a little confused,
huh, Tim?
823
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:44,360
(GASPS)
824
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:47,040
Easy, easy.
I thought you were her.
825
00:37:47,720 --> 00:37:49,600
She's terrible, Tim.
How did you last so long?
826
00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:51,680
She's a little
high-maintenance,
but she's okay.
827
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:53,320
Oh, lust is blind.
828
00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:56,520
Do we still have
that hidden camera
stuff somewhere?
829
00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:59,160
You're sitting on it.
Why?
830
00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:02,000
Here, let me
help you with this.
831
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:03,320
Oh, would you please?
832
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:05,240
No, these words
are way too big.
833
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:06,760
Huh? Humidity?
834
00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:07,840
Hot.
835
00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:09,480
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
836
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:11,320
ANNOUNCER:
Wave for everybody!
837
00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:13,920
By God, if I were
only 40 years older,
838
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,160
I'd be right there
with them!
839
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:18,200
(MUTTERING)
840
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:21,040
COLEYE: Miss Channing?
Hmm?
841
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:23,360
Could I have a word
with you, please?
842
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:24,520
Okay.
843
00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:30,080
I've already signed it.
844
00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:34,120
Come on,
who are you guys, huh?
845
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:35,200
(GASPS)
846
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:37,200
(MUFFLED SCREAMS)
847
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:47,880
Okay, guys,
you're all set.
848
00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:48,920
Where's Brace?
849
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:50,240
I don't know.
She took off.
850
00:38:50,320 --> 00:38:52,760
She quit,
and her dad's
gonna blame me!
851
00:38:53,240 --> 00:38:55,000
Hey, what's going on
over there?
852
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:56,760
(CROWD CLAMORING)
MAN: Check it out!
853
00:38:57,040 --> 00:38:59,000
Uh-oh. Billy,
put that in my car.
854
00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:00,240
I gotta go.
855
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:01,360
Call me!
856
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:03,200
Martin!
857
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:10,680
(GULPING)
858
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:12,080
(GASPS)
859
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:13,440
(MARTIN SHOUTING)
860
00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:16,160
I like it!
861
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:17,680
Martin.
862
00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:22,920
Tim, you're here!
863
00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:25,400
You've got to
save me from myself!
864
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:30,120
It's intoxicating.
Oh, cookie dough!
865
00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:33,960
Uncle Martin,
I need to get you
back to the home.
866
00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:35,080
(GURGLING)
867
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:37,760
All they give him
there is Jell-O.
Here we go.
868
00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:40,400
(SLOSHING)
869
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:41,720
(MUTTERING)
870
00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:44,480
Cookie dough!
871
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:46,320
(CROWD CLAMORING)
872
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:55,600
(BEEPS)
873
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:00,960
Martian footage,
take two.
874
00:40:03,240 --> 00:40:04,920
(GROANING)
875
00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:08,240
(GROANING CONTINUES)
876
00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:12,080
Chubby Hubby
hangover, huh?
877
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:13,680
(GROANS)
(TOOLS CLATTERING)
878
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:14,960
Sorry.
879
00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:17,840
I swear, I'll never
touch that stuff again.
880
00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:20,960
One scoop's too many,
and a million aren't enough.
881
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:24,400
So, how's it coming,
anyway?
882
00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:26,640
Oh, I converted
a blow dryer,
two elastic bands
883
00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:29,640
and an Acme
Bug-Away insect bomb
884
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:31,480
into a temporary
electron accelerator.
885
00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:32,640
Is it working?
886
00:40:32,720 --> 00:40:34,320
Not at all,
but on the positive side,
887
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:36,440
your garage is
now cockroach-free.
888
00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:38,160
Blasted rental!
889
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:40,480
This is a rental,
is it?
890
00:40:40,520 --> 00:40:41,760
My regular ship
is in the shop
891
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:43,320
for its
mid-millennium tune-up.
892
00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:47,000
Where's your...
You know, your suit,
Zoot thing.
893
00:40:47,040 --> 00:40:49,160
Oh, washing up.
894
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:51,440
Ow!
895
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:52,840
Spin me, mama!
896
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,680
♪ So nice, so good ♪
897
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:58,320
Five more minutes, Zoot,
then into the dryer.
898
00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:01,120
You're bringing me
down, man!
899
00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:03,160
(GROANS)
What I wouldn't give
900
00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:06,000
to shed this grotesque
human facade
901
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:09,840
and let
the cool Earth waters
caress my Martian skin.
902
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:10,920
Oh!
903
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:12,680
So why don't you?
904
00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:15,280
Why not, indeed?
905
00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:17,560
Move over, Zoot.
906
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:18,840
Martin, no.
No, I meant...
907
00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:20,520
I meant out in
the hot tub, out back.
908
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:22,240
It would be private,
by yourself.
909
00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:25,440
You mean
spit out my nurplex
910
00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:27,920
and revert to Martian form
right outside your domicile?
911
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:29,040
Exactly.
912
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:31,520
Oh, do you think
that's safe?
913
00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:34,120
Oh, yes,
of course it's safe.
914
00:41:34,560 --> 00:41:35,840
I'll do it!
915
00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:37,200
Good. Let's go.
916
00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:39,040
Oh boy, oh boy,
oh boy, oh boy.
917
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:40,720
Tim?
Yeah?
918
00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:41,840
Thanks.
919
00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:43,560
It's just a hot tub,
Martin. No big deal.
920
00:41:43,720 --> 00:41:46,400
I don't mean just that.
I know I must have
created complete havoc
921
00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:48,840
with your simple life
since the moment
I arrived.
922
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:52,040
Anyway, I just wanted
to say thank you.
923
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:57,120
(WHOOPING EXCITEDLY)
924
00:41:57,640 --> 00:41:58,920
Hello!
925
00:41:59,960 --> 00:42:02,840
Hello!
Would somebody please
926
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:05,040
come and tell me
what's going on here?
927
00:42:07,720 --> 00:42:09,720
All right,
Miss Channing.
928
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:13,080
Do you know
what this is?
929
00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:16,120
This has been
positively identified
930
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:19,160
by my team of experts
as your cigarette.
931
00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:23,000
It was discovered
at the site
of a UFO crash.
932
00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:25,560
And on it
are trace elements
933
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:29,680
of what we believe
to be alien DNA.
934
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:31,480
Alien?
935
00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:33,880
Oh, don't play dumb
with me!
936
00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:36,800
You are an alien
937
00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:39,520
inhabiting the body
of a woman.
938
00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:45,280
A very,
very attractive woman.
939
00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:47,440
Oh, please.
940
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:50,600
Dr. Coleye,
we've run the tests
on the other cigarette.
941
00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:52,280
It's human DNA.
942
00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:55,800
Oh. So sorry.
943
00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:57,520
An honest mistake.
944
00:42:58,480 --> 00:43:03,000
So, Miss Channing,
do you have any idea
how alien DNA
945
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:05,120
ended up
on your cigarette?
946
00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:09,920
I might. First of all,
let's talk about
what's in this for me.
947
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:12,120
The safety of
this entire planet
948
00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:14,560
may depend on
what you say to me.
949
00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:17,760
There's nothing
in it for you.
950
00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:19,480
(FRUSTRATED SCREAM)
951
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:21,320
Dr. Coleye.
952
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:24,800
May I call you doctor?
953
00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:28,840
Think about it.
When this story breaks,
954
00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:32,320
you will be
the most famous
scientist in history.
955
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:37,960
You will be on the cover
of Scientific...
Whatever.
956
00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:43,120
You will be the man
that proves
that aliens exist.
957
00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:48,320
And I will be
the woman who tells
the world your story.
958
00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:52,720
We'll do it together.
959
00:43:54,160 --> 00:43:55,280
Okay.
960
00:43:56,080 --> 00:43:57,560
(OPERA PLAYING)
(SINGING ALONG)
961
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:26,400
Tim?
962
00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:31,280
What are you
doing up there?
963
00:44:32,240 --> 00:44:33,800
(WHISPERING)
My Uncle Martin's
in the hot tub,
964
00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:36,040
and I'm watching.
965
00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:38,720
Oh.
966
00:44:42,400 --> 00:44:44,280
What a strange family.
967
00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:48,080
TIM: You can, uh...
You can sleep here.
968
00:44:48,920 --> 00:44:49,920
You guys do sleep,
don't you?
969
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:51,840
Oh, most definitely.
970
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:54,560
Oh, great. We have
something in common.
971
00:44:55,280 --> 00:44:57,240
You're very kind,
Tim O'Hara.
972
00:44:57,560 --> 00:44:59,200
No, just very tired.
973
00:44:59,240 --> 00:45:01,200
Oh! Enjoy your
rest cycle.
974
00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:03,080
(ELECTRONIC BUZZ)
975
00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:04,320
I'll do the same.
976
00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:07,240
I could use
a little shut-eye.
977
00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:09,760
(SIGHS) So could I.
(LIGHT SWITCH CLICKS)
978
00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:10,960
(YAWNS)
979
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:14,160
Rise and shine!
980
00:45:14,240 --> 00:45:15,480
Yeah, yeah, right.
981
00:45:15,560 --> 00:45:17,000
What's on tap
for today, Tim O'Hara?
982
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:19,080
I feel like
a million radix.
983
00:45:19,160 --> 00:45:21,720
Hey, it's still tonight.
You've been asleep
for 30 seconds.
984
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:25,280
Thirty seconds?
Wow, I really was tired.
985
00:45:25,560 --> 00:45:26,600
(GROANS)
986
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:27,760
MARTIN:
What are we waiting for?
987
00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:30,120
There's a whole
metropolis out there
988
00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:31,880
just waiting to
be discovered.
989
00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:33,440
TIM: No, not in the middle
of the night, there isn't.
990
00:45:33,480 --> 00:45:36,280
I feel like ice cream,
and there's no time
like the present.
991
00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:40,120
Hello?
Why aren't they open?
992
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:41,680
MARTIN: What's wrong
with this planet?
993
00:45:41,760 --> 00:45:44,760
Martin, I told you,
they don't open
till 10:00.
994
00:45:44,800 --> 00:45:46,120
I could be first
in line.
995
00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:48,280
Yeah, well, they aren't
gonna let you in
when they do open,
996
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:51,440
not after
that little stunt
you pulled yesterday.
997
00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:55,640
(ELECTRONIC BUZZ)
998
00:45:55,720 --> 00:45:57,280
We call that
breaking and entering.
999
00:45:57,360 --> 00:45:58,720
(ELECTRONIC BUZZ)
1000
00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:04,360
Ah, the smell
of moist air.
1001
00:46:05,120 --> 00:46:08,320
I'll never forget this.
Your ocean!
1002
00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:10,480
Ice cream!
1003
00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:14,160
This primitive planet
may not compare to Mars,
1004
00:46:14,240 --> 00:46:16,480
but it's not
the rotten rock
I thought it was.
1005
00:46:16,560 --> 00:46:18,760
Don't look now,
but I think
we're being followed.
1006
00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:20,800
Impossible. My acute
sensory perception
1007
00:46:20,920 --> 00:46:22,560
would have detected
that immediately.
1008
00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:24,000
(ELECTRONIC WHIRRING)
1009
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:26,240
Now it's working.
1010
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:28,320
Hey! Hey, buddy!
1011
00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:29,800
What are you doing?
(TIRES SCREECHING)
1012
00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:31,280
I've been discovered!
I'm doomed!
1013
00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:32,560
No, no, no,
just calm down.
1014
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:34,960
It's probably
just some tourist
or something.
1015
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:36,280
Besides, even if
you did get caught,
1016
00:46:36,320 --> 00:46:38,560
you'd probably be,
you know, welcomed.
1017
00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:41,400
Welcomed? Tim,
where do Earthlings put
1018
00:46:41,480 --> 00:46:44,040
their most beautiful
and rare animals?
1019
00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:46,400
If I don't get
that spaceship fixed,
I'm finished,
1020
00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:48,160
just like Neenurt.
1021
00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:51,200
ZOOT:
Can you fix it?
'Cause I'm dying here.
1022
00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:53,920
I need a drink,
is what I need.
1023
00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:55,760
(HUMMING)
1024
00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:59,200
Yeah. Downy the hatch.
1025
00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:01,960
(ZOOT COUGHING)
1026
00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:04,360
What was that?
1027
00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:06,040
What in blazes?
1028
00:47:06,520 --> 00:47:07,880
What is it?
1029
00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:09,240
(BEEPS)
1030
00:47:09,320 --> 00:47:11,600
Oh, blotz!
1031
00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:15,360
Zoot, an ISS!
1032
00:47:15,440 --> 00:47:16,760
(SCREAMS)
1033
00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:19,200
(SCREAMS)
1034
00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:23,080
(TAPE REWINDING)
1035
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:24,600
Blasted rental!
1036
00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:27,280
(TAPE REWINDING)
1037
00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:29,680
Ow!
1038
00:47:29,720 --> 00:47:31,360
Spin me, mama!
1039
00:47:31,400 --> 00:47:33,960
♪ So nice, so good ♪
1040
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:35,720
(TAPE PLAYING AT FAST SPEED)
1041
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:38,520
(LAUGHS)
1042
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:43,600
(CHUCKLES)
Uncle Martin,
what are you...
1043
00:47:50,560 --> 00:47:51,920
(PHONE RINGING)
1044
00:47:53,080 --> 00:47:54,160
Tech department.
1045
00:47:54,240 --> 00:47:55,320
TIM ON PHONE:
Hi, it's me.
1046
00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:56,600
Oh, hi.
1047
00:47:56,920 --> 00:47:58,320
What are you doing?
1048
00:47:58,400 --> 00:48:00,240
Uh, research.
1049
00:48:01,240 --> 00:48:04,600
Have you ever
got into your head how
you felt about somebody,
1050
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:05,920
and, I don't know,
something they said or did
1051
00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:08,320
just suddenly
changed your mind?
1052
00:48:09,080 --> 00:48:10,680
Well, yeah, I...
1053
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:12,920
Could you come over?
1054
00:48:13,920 --> 00:48:17,120
Please, I really
need to see you.
It's important.
1055
00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:20,600
Sure. Could you give me
like a half an hour?
1056
00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:22,520
(SIGHS)
You're the best, Lizzie.
1057
00:48:23,200 --> 00:48:24,680
Okay, see you.
1058
00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:26,440
Oh, my gosh.
1059
00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:29,120
(EXHALES)
1060
00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:32,640
(MARTIN SHOUTING)
1061
00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:36,960
Martin?
1062
00:48:37,640 --> 00:48:38,880
I'm not like you.
(GROWLING)
1063
00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:41,760
I need more than
12 seconds of sleep.
1064
00:48:41,880 --> 00:48:46,200
All I need is one lousy
electron accelerator
1065
00:48:46,320 --> 00:48:48,120
for a vortex generator.
1066
00:48:48,160 --> 00:48:50,600
But can I build it? No.
1067
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:53,960
You'll do it.
You just gotta give yourself
a little time, that's all.
1068
00:48:54,040 --> 00:48:57,280
Time! I have no time!
1069
00:48:57,640 --> 00:48:59,720
I just discovered
that this blasted rental
1070
00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:01,760
is equipped
with an ISS.
1071
00:49:02,160 --> 00:49:03,160
Yeah, what's that?
1072
00:49:03,240 --> 00:49:05,240
Interstellar Safety System.
1073
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:08,160
A detonation mechanism
designed to prevent
1074
00:49:08,400 --> 00:49:11,480
advanced technology
from falling into
the wrong hands.
1075
00:49:11,560 --> 00:49:14,920
It's timer
activates automatically
at the point of a crash.
1076
00:49:15,360 --> 00:49:17,840
Okay, wait,
I heard "detonation"
somewhere in there.
1077
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:19,680
If I don't take off
by 9:00 tonight,
1078
00:49:19,720 --> 00:49:21,720
you'll hear a lot more
than that. (LAUGHS)
1079
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:23,000
How much more?
1080
00:49:23,320 --> 00:49:25,080
(MAKES EXPLOSION SOUND)
1081
00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:28,520
Uh-huh.
Lublick.
1082
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:30,160
Uh, you b...
1083
00:49:30,240 --> 00:49:31,800
(GULPING)
1084
00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:41,600
(BELCHES)
1085
00:49:41,760 --> 00:49:42,760
Ah!
1086
00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:50,240
I know
you've done your best
to help, but it's no use.
1087
00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:52,840
(GASPS) Oh, no.
1088
00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:56,440
I'm sinking into
a Martian depression.
1089
00:49:56,520 --> 00:49:57,720
(GASPS)
1090
00:49:57,840 --> 00:50:00,200
Sinking? No, no sinking.
Come on, we gotta
go fix this thing.
1091
00:50:00,360 --> 00:50:02,400
I'm falling apart, Tim.
1092
00:50:02,640 --> 00:50:04,560
Oh, no, you're not.
1093
00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:05,680
(SOBBING)
1094
00:50:05,720 --> 00:50:06,960
Come on.
1095
00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:09,400
Yes, you are.
1096
00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:13,560
On Mars,
when we get depressed,
we literally fall apart.
1097
00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:16,800
(SOBBING LOUDLY)
1098
00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:18,280
Okay, no problem.
1099
00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:20,560
Don't move.
Don't make it any worse
than it already is.
1100
00:50:20,600 --> 00:50:21,880
What we're gonna do is
we're gonna put
you back together.
1101
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:23,080
(CONTINUES SOBBING)
1102
00:50:23,120 --> 00:50:24,160
We're gonna put
you back together.
1103
00:50:24,240 --> 00:50:26,880
Does it screw in?
It's not...
1104
00:50:26,960 --> 00:50:29,040
Okay, just... No!
1105
00:50:29,080 --> 00:50:31,400
I wanna go home!
1106
00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:33,080
We're gonna put
our heads together...
1107
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:34,320
(GASPS)
1108
00:50:34,400 --> 00:50:35,760
(SCREAMS)
1109
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:37,000
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
1110
00:50:37,080 --> 00:50:38,640
Coming!
Who's that?
1111
00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:40,880
It's Lizzie.
Lizzie? Oh, no.
1112
00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:44,280
You wait here.
1113
00:50:44,400 --> 00:50:45,440
Where are you
going with those?
1114
00:50:45,520 --> 00:50:46,560
Just tidying up!
1115
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:48,880
Give them back!
Give me back my arms!
Give me back...
1116
00:50:49,640 --> 00:50:50,880
Why do I have
to die here?
1117
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:52,600
(GROANING)
1118
00:50:53,360 --> 00:50:54,600
Hello?
1119
00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:56,600
Yoo-hoo!
1120
00:50:56,640 --> 00:50:58,040
Don't move.
1121
00:50:58,280 --> 00:50:59,880
Tim!
1122
00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:02,240
Does anything
in this room
strike you as odd?
1123
00:51:02,720 --> 00:51:04,360
Tim?
(GASPS)
1124
00:51:04,600 --> 00:51:06,480
MARTIN: Just a minute!
1125
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:08,280
(SCREAMS)
Would you just
be quiet?
1126
00:51:08,760 --> 00:51:11,840
Coming, Lizzie.
Oh, Brace!
1127
00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:14,240
Tim. Are you decent?
1128
00:51:14,560 --> 00:51:16,320
Oh, yeah.
Yes, I am.
1129
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:18,240
(STUTTERING)
What a surprise!
1130
00:51:18,400 --> 00:51:19,720
Yes, now get lost!
1131
00:51:19,800 --> 00:51:20,800
What did you say?
1132
00:51:20,880 --> 00:51:22,840
Uh, I'm lost. I mean,
1133
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:25,760
(CHUCKLES) I'm at a loss
for how beautiful you look.
1134
00:51:28,720 --> 00:51:30,160
Hey, hey, hey, hey...
(SCREAMS)
1135
00:51:32,320 --> 00:51:35,440
Now, Tim,
I hope you're gonna
let me make it up to you.
1136
00:51:35,720 --> 00:51:37,720
Oh, no, you don't
have to do that.
I mean, that...
1137
00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:41,640
Well, you know, I mean,
that's up to you.
I mean, if that's...
1138
00:51:43,680 --> 00:51:45,120
Mmm.
1139
00:51:45,720 --> 00:51:48,200
I brought you
a little peace offering.
1140
00:51:48,280 --> 00:51:49,280
Where are
your wine glasses?
1141
00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:50,520
No, no, no...
1142
00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:53,560
That's the bedroom.
No glasses up there.
1143
00:51:53,640 --> 00:51:55,400
Oh, well, maybe I'll
get a little tour later.
1144
00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:57,320
MARTIN: Don't miss
the bathroom!
1145
00:51:57,360 --> 00:51:59,480
I'm sorry?
I have to go
to the bathroom later.
1146
00:51:59,520 --> 00:52:00,720
Later.
1147
00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:02,840
Um, glasses are
in the kitchen.
1148
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:06,800
Why don't I go get them,
and you just kind of
make yourself at home.
1149
00:52:06,840 --> 00:52:08,040
Okay?
Okay.
1150
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:13,360
Fantastic apartment, Tim.
1151
00:52:13,720 --> 00:52:15,080
Thank you very much.
1152
00:52:15,160 --> 00:52:16,440
(CORK POPS)
Yeah, there we go.
1153
00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:17,800
Oh!
1154
00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:20,320
What a slob!
1155
00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:22,040
(CHUCKLES)
1156
00:52:22,720 --> 00:52:24,000
(HUMMING)
1157
00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:25,720
(TURNS ON MUSIC)
1158
00:52:27,240 --> 00:52:28,720
(MARTIN GRUNTING)
1159
00:52:29,480 --> 00:52:31,080
MARTIN: Cut it out! Hey!
1160
00:52:31,160 --> 00:52:34,280
♪ Yes, let's fall in love
1161
00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:36,360
Ooh.
♪ Why shouldn't we
1162
00:52:36,480 --> 00:52:37,760
♪ Fall in love?
1163
00:52:37,840 --> 00:52:39,560
Mmm, that's the spot.
1164
00:52:40,080 --> 00:52:42,040
♪ Let's take a chance
1165
00:52:42,120 --> 00:52:44,080
♪ Why be afraid of it?
Oh, yeah.
1166
00:52:44,400 --> 00:52:45,840
Mmm.
1167
00:52:46,200 --> 00:52:48,600
♪ Let's close our eyes
(MOANING)
1168
00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:51,840
♪ And make our own paradise
1169
00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:54,040
♪ Little we know of it
1170
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:56,720
♪ Still we can try
Oh, no, no, harder,
like before.
1171
00:52:56,800 --> 00:52:58,560
♪ Oh, baby
Ah.
1172
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:02,960
Where's the wine?
Uh...
1173
00:53:03,040 --> 00:53:05,760
♪ Why shouldn't
we fall in love?
1174
00:53:06,560 --> 00:53:07,640
♪ Now is the time for it
1175
00:53:07,720 --> 00:53:08,720
I'll get it.
1176
00:53:08,760 --> 00:53:10,000
♪ While we are young
1177
00:53:10,080 --> 00:53:12,440
♪ Let's fall in love ♪
1178
00:53:12,760 --> 00:53:14,760
You know, I asked Daddy
about giving you
another chance.
1179
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:17,080
TIM: Oh, oh, good!
1180
00:53:19,920 --> 00:53:21,000
Here we go.
1181
00:53:21,480 --> 00:53:23,240
Oh, lovely. Thanks.
1182
00:53:26,400 --> 00:53:29,400
Hmm. You know,
I thought that
crash of yours
1183
00:53:29,440 --> 00:53:31,680
might make a kind
of cute little story.
1184
00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:33,840
Oh, really?
Good. That's...
Mmm-hmm.
1185
00:53:34,480 --> 00:53:36,840
MARTIN: (GRUNTING)
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
1186
00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:39,000
Cut it out!
1187
00:53:39,840 --> 00:53:40,920
What was that?
1188
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:42,160
I didn't hear anything.
1189
00:53:42,280 --> 00:53:43,920
Tim, get rid of...
1190
00:53:43,960 --> 00:53:45,560
(MARTIN GROANING)
1191
00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:47,280
Are you all right?
1192
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:51,680
Yes, I just...
I really have to
go to the bathroom.
1193
00:53:51,760 --> 00:53:53,320
Well, hurry back.
1194
00:53:53,400 --> 00:53:54,600
(CHUCKLES)
1195
00:53:56,480 --> 00:53:59,080
♪ Why shouldn't
we fall in love?
1196
00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:00,360
Be a minute.
1197
00:54:00,440 --> 00:54:02,240
♪ Now is the time for it
While we are young ♪
(SIGHS)
1198
00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:05,960
MARTIN: Tim!
Get me out of here!
1199
00:54:06,040 --> 00:54:08,120
Stop making
all that noise!
1200
00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:10,560
Tell her to
stop punching me!
1201
00:54:10,640 --> 00:54:11,960
Besides,
what are you doing
1202
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:13,760
letting that female
in your apartment?
1203
00:54:13,800 --> 00:54:15,840
You don't understand.
I've been waiting
a long time
1204
00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:17,200
to get Brace Channing
into my apartment.
1205
00:54:17,280 --> 00:54:20,720
But you like Lizzie.
I could tell through
your saliva exchange.
1206
00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:22,120
Excuse me?
Look, Tim,
1207
00:54:22,560 --> 00:54:25,240
the other night,
when you were unconscious,
Lizzie came here.
1208
00:54:25,400 --> 00:54:26,520
And you what?
You kissed her?
1209
00:54:26,600 --> 00:54:27,880
Yes. No, no...
1210
00:54:27,960 --> 00:54:29,600
Well, you did.
1211
00:54:30,240 --> 00:54:32,320
I did
a molecular identiclone
of your body.
1212
00:54:32,600 --> 00:54:34,000
What? You what?
1213
00:54:34,080 --> 00:54:35,320
You'd never understand.
1214
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:37,000
You people think
e-mail is amazing.
1215
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:39,840
The point is,
while I was you,
1216
00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:41,360
I tapped into
your subconscious,
1217
00:54:41,440 --> 00:54:43,600
and trust me,
you like Lizzie.
1218
00:54:43,640 --> 00:54:45,680
That's why I
thought it was okay
for you to kiss her.
1219
00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:47,920
I didn't kiss her,
you did!
1220
00:54:55,520 --> 00:54:56,520
(GASPS)
1221
00:54:57,360 --> 00:54:58,680
Bingo!
1222
00:54:59,520 --> 00:55:03,040
Tim? I let myself
in the back door.
1223
00:55:04,160 --> 00:55:05,360
Hello?
1224
00:55:06,920 --> 00:55:08,680
Oh, isn't this nice?
1225
00:55:09,120 --> 00:55:10,880
Lizzie, is that you?
1226
00:55:11,880 --> 00:55:14,720
Oh, you look, um, nice.
1227
00:55:16,360 --> 00:55:19,120
He's in the bathroom,
and he's all yours.
1228
00:55:20,040 --> 00:55:21,880
I got what I came for.
1229
00:55:26,560 --> 00:55:28,240
Oh, this is great.
1230
00:55:29,280 --> 00:55:31,760
Tim! You don't have
a lot of time here.
1231
00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:33,160
I'm confused, all right?
1232
00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:35,080
Everything was
going along fine
until you came along.
1233
00:55:35,160 --> 00:55:36,160
Don't kid yourself.
1234
00:55:36,200 --> 00:55:39,040
Even a substandard species
such as yours has feelings.
1235
00:55:39,120 --> 00:55:42,800
Just slow down
for one millisecond
and look into your heart.
1236
00:55:43,560 --> 00:55:45,440
Whose face
do you see?
1237
00:55:52,880 --> 00:55:55,040
Look, Brace, I think...
Lizzie!
1238
00:55:56,720 --> 00:55:57,920
Whoa!
1239
00:55:58,400 --> 00:55:59,680
Lizzie, no.
Wait, wait...
1240
00:55:59,720 --> 00:56:01,120
No, please!
1241
00:56:01,520 --> 00:56:02,880
This better be good.
1242
00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:04,880
Oh, it is. It is.
1243
00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:07,560
Uh, remember that guy
I was with at
the pier yesterday?
1244
00:56:07,880 --> 00:56:08,920
Your Uncle Martin.
1245
00:56:09,200 --> 00:56:10,880
He's not my uncle.
1246
00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:12,840
He's a Martian.
1247
00:56:13,160 --> 00:56:14,240
(CHUCKLES)
1248
00:56:14,320 --> 00:56:15,400
Yeah.
1249
00:56:15,600 --> 00:56:16,720
You are such a jerk!
1250
00:56:16,760 --> 00:56:19,760
No, no, no.
He's a Martian!
It's the truth.
1251
00:56:19,840 --> 00:56:21,800
In fact,
he's the one who
kissed you, not me.
1252
00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:23,560
Really?
Yeah.
1253
00:56:23,800 --> 00:56:25,160
His head's in
my sink right now.
1254
00:56:26,080 --> 00:56:27,280
(GRUNTS)
1255
00:56:27,680 --> 00:56:29,760
Get some sleep.
You look awful.
1256
00:56:29,840 --> 00:56:30,840
Lizzie...
1257
00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:32,920
And if there
was anything kinky
on that videotape,
1258
00:56:32,960 --> 00:56:34,480
you better get Brace
to give it back.
1259
00:56:40,880 --> 00:56:44,440
ZOOT: (GRUNTS)
Fine! Since when did
I become a mechanic?
1260
00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:45,760
(DRILL WHIRRING)
1261
00:56:45,960 --> 00:56:47,920
Do I look like overalls?
1262
00:56:52,120 --> 00:56:53,200
Uncle Martin!
1263
00:56:53,400 --> 00:56:55,760
(SCISSORS SNIPPING)
ZOOT:
Okay. Don't cut the red one.
1264
00:56:56,400 --> 00:56:57,440
Or was it the blue one?
1265
00:56:57,520 --> 00:56:59,080
(EXCLAIMS)
(ZOOT MUMBLING)
1266
00:56:59,120 --> 00:57:01,360
I can't see
a thing down here!
1267
00:57:02,280 --> 00:57:03,640
Oh, thanks.
1268
00:57:06,640 --> 00:57:07,640
(ELECTRICITY ZAPPING)
1269
00:57:07,720 --> 00:57:09,320
Ow! Geez, that hurt!
1270
00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:10,680
(SCREAMS)
1271
00:57:10,800 --> 00:57:11,800
No!
1272
00:57:11,840 --> 00:57:14,240
Lady, please!
Put a sock in it! Quiet!
1273
00:57:14,320 --> 00:57:16,080
The baby's sleeping!
1274
00:57:16,600 --> 00:57:18,320
Martin, I told you.
We gotta get
1275
00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:20,800
to the TV station
before Brace does.
1276
00:57:20,840 --> 00:57:22,800
MARTIN: Open the bag!
Open the...
Okay, okay.
1277
00:57:22,880 --> 00:57:24,480
(GASPING)
1278
00:57:24,560 --> 00:57:25,840
I can't breathe!
I'm sorry.
1279
00:57:25,840 --> 00:57:27,160
Where is that
confounded Zoot?
1280
00:57:27,240 --> 00:57:28,600
Zoot? Uh...
1281
00:57:29,320 --> 00:57:32,480
Zoot! Zoot! I think
he's in the middle
of a spin cycle.
1282
00:57:32,560 --> 00:57:36,440
Leave him! Quick, Tim!
Get my arm out
of the other bag!
1283
00:57:36,480 --> 00:57:37,480
All right.
Okay, okay, okay.
1284
00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:38,680
MARTIN: Okay.
1285
00:57:39,200 --> 00:57:40,320
Okay.
1286
00:57:40,400 --> 00:57:42,280
Yes, excellent!
Toward the ship!
1287
00:57:42,320 --> 00:57:44,160
Higher, higher!
Higher! Higher!
Okay, here!
1288
00:57:44,200 --> 00:57:47,360
Here we go!
(GRUNTING) Yes!
1289
00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:48,680
(WHIMPERING)
MARTIN: Easy.
1290
00:57:48,720 --> 00:57:50,080
Oh, no!
1291
00:57:50,160 --> 00:57:51,520
(SCREAMING)
1292
00:57:51,560 --> 00:57:53,560
ZOOT:
Oh, no! Don't send me
to the shrink!
1293
00:57:53,640 --> 00:57:54,640
(WHIMPERING)
1294
00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:55,720
Oh!
1295
00:57:55,800 --> 00:57:57,160
What was that?
1296
00:57:57,200 --> 00:57:58,400
Uh-oh.
1297
00:58:00,720 --> 00:58:02,760
Sweetie pie,
1298
00:58:02,840 --> 00:58:04,880
this is the most
amazing footage
I've ever seen.
1299
00:58:04,960 --> 00:58:07,200
Felix! O'Hara's tapes
are going on the 6:00.
1300
00:58:07,840 --> 00:58:09,200
Van Gundy,
call the network.
Yeah?
1301
00:58:09,280 --> 00:58:12,120
Brace is going out live
with the story
of the century!
1302
00:58:14,880 --> 00:58:17,160
MARTIN: I'm feeling
a little carsick!
1303
00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:18,680
Oh!
Sorry.
1304
00:58:20,440 --> 00:58:21,800
(MARTIN GRUNTING)
1305
00:58:21,880 --> 00:58:24,720
I can't take it anymore.
I can't take it anymore.
1306
00:58:25,360 --> 00:58:26,640
We're running
out of time, okay?
1307
00:58:26,720 --> 00:58:27,880
Try and pull
yourself together.
1308
00:58:27,920 --> 00:58:29,880
Why? We're all
doomed anyway.
1309
00:58:29,960 --> 00:58:33,200
Without my blasted
electron accelerator,
the ISS will blow.
1310
00:58:33,320 --> 00:58:34,480
I feel like
a hacksaw murderer.
1311
00:58:35,520 --> 00:58:37,560
What the heck
is an electron
accelerator anyway?
1312
00:58:37,640 --> 00:58:39,400
It's a simple
low-amperage power source
1313
00:58:39,440 --> 00:58:41,240
that activates
the main thrusters.
1314
00:58:41,280 --> 00:58:43,880
Oh, you mean kind of
like an alternator?
1315
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:44,960
What's an alternator?
1316
00:58:45,200 --> 00:58:46,880
It turns over
the engine in a car.
1317
00:58:46,960 --> 00:58:48,240
(GASPS) A car?
1318
00:58:48,320 --> 00:58:50,880
That's it!
That should work!
We're saved!
1319
00:58:51,080 --> 00:58:52,960
Not quite.
Yes, we are.
1320
00:58:53,080 --> 00:58:54,240
Whoo-hoo!
1321
00:58:54,280 --> 00:58:55,880
Listen, I've been...
1322
00:58:55,920 --> 00:58:58,800
I've been videotaping you.
I've got everything.
I got the ship.
1323
00:58:58,880 --> 00:59:01,920
I got Zoot.
I even got you in
your Martian form.
1324
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:03,320
I was putting
together a story,
1325
00:59:03,400 --> 00:59:05,000
and I was gonna
get it on the air,
1326
00:59:05,080 --> 00:59:06,960
but I couldn't do it.
Why not?
1327
00:59:07,080 --> 00:59:08,920
Because I like you,
Martin.
1328
00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:10,600
I like you. I...
1329
00:59:11,280 --> 00:59:13,800
And I'm sorry.
I'm just... I'm sorry.
1330
00:59:14,120 --> 00:59:16,480
I apologize.
I shouldn't have
lied to you.
1331
00:59:16,560 --> 00:59:17,840
You're a good human,
Tim O'Hara.
1332
00:59:17,920 --> 00:59:19,280
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I'm a terrific...
1333
00:59:20,360 --> 00:59:21,440
Martin! You're back!
1334
00:59:21,480 --> 00:59:23,560
And I like you, too.
1335
00:59:23,640 --> 00:59:24,880
Oh-ho!
1336
00:59:24,960 --> 00:59:26,440
I've never had
feelings before.
1337
00:59:27,120 --> 00:59:28,200
Oh.
1338
00:59:29,080 --> 00:59:31,520
Now, let's go
fix my ship.
1339
00:59:31,600 --> 00:59:33,840
Yeah, okay. No!
No, no, we got a problem.
The tapes.
1340
00:59:33,920 --> 00:59:36,280
Brace goes on with
the Martian story
in five minutes.
1341
00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:37,360
Oh, blotz.
1342
00:59:37,440 --> 00:59:39,240
Yeah, and I got to
get these tapes
1343
00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:41,160
and get to Brace before
she gets on the air.
1344
00:59:41,240 --> 00:59:43,800
But there's not enough time.
You can't be in
two places at once.
1345
00:59:43,840 --> 00:59:46,600
Yeah. Wait a minute!
Come on!
1346
00:59:47,440 --> 00:59:49,600
Is there an alien
amongst us?
1347
00:59:50,560 --> 00:59:52,760
Is there an alien
amongst us?
1348
00:59:54,080 --> 00:59:56,120
Is there an alien
among...
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
1349
00:59:56,960 --> 00:59:59,680
Billy! Now what?
1350
01:00:00,360 --> 01:00:02,480
I want to
be Brace Channing.
1351
01:00:02,960 --> 01:00:05,320
Yeah, well, get in line.
Now, look, I'm sorry,
1352
01:00:05,360 --> 01:00:06,960
but I really
don't have time
to do any auto...
1353
01:00:09,280 --> 01:00:10,280
(GASPS)
1354
01:00:10,680 --> 01:00:11,840
Quaint, aren't they?
1355
01:00:11,960 --> 01:00:14,360
These days,
most of our young
are born cable-ready.
1356
01:00:15,160 --> 01:00:16,560
You're the... (GASPS)
1357
01:00:17,920 --> 01:00:20,240
Daddy! (SCREAMS)
1358
01:00:21,480 --> 01:00:23,440
DIRECTOR:
Heads up.
Four minutes to air.
1359
01:00:23,480 --> 01:00:25,520
First positions,
everyone.
1360
01:00:27,080 --> 01:00:30,560
Tim!
What are you doing here?
You look tired.
1361
01:00:30,640 --> 01:00:32,560
Oh, yeah.
I was up all night
with Brace
1362
01:00:32,640 --> 01:00:33,840
working on
the alien story.
1363
01:00:33,920 --> 01:00:35,760
I made
a couple of mistakes
in tape number two,
1364
01:00:35,840 --> 01:00:37,200
but that's
the corrected version.
1365
01:00:38,640 --> 01:00:40,080
Now if I could
just get through this
1366
01:00:40,160 --> 01:00:42,360
without having to
look in a mirror.
1367
01:00:42,440 --> 01:00:43,760
Hmm.
1368
01:00:43,840 --> 01:00:46,680
DIRECTOR:
Coming up on
three minutes to air.
1369
01:00:48,840 --> 01:00:49,840
(GRUNTS)
1370
01:00:53,080 --> 01:00:55,040
(BUZZER SOUNDING)
1371
01:00:57,280 --> 01:00:58,360
Tim!
1372
01:00:59,480 --> 01:01:00,960
Martin, is that you?
1373
01:01:01,040 --> 01:01:02,640
Does a wild bear
blotz in the woods?
1374
01:01:02,720 --> 01:01:06,400
Good, good. Okay. Just...
Just read the copy
as written. Go.
1375
01:01:07,960 --> 01:01:09,280
Hi, Brace.
1376
01:01:10,200 --> 01:01:11,920
Congratulations, Brace.
(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)
1377
01:01:12,000 --> 01:01:13,720
Yes, I'm Brace Channing.
1378
01:01:13,760 --> 01:01:14,920
MAN: Let's hear it
for Brace!
1379
01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:16,600
(ALL CHEERING)
1380
01:01:19,840 --> 01:01:22,160
Dr. Coleye,
you're gonna become
a very famous man.
1381
01:01:22,240 --> 01:01:23,640
Thirty ID, and open.
1382
01:01:24,280 --> 01:01:26,080
ANNOUNCER:
KGSC.
Ready camera one live.
1383
01:01:26,920 --> 01:01:28,240
The news for
southern California
(GRUNTING)
1384
01:01:28,320 --> 01:01:29,680
with anchor
Howard Greenly
1385
01:01:29,720 --> 01:01:32,760
and on special assignment,
Brace Channing.
1386
01:01:33,080 --> 01:01:34,120
What the hell
is she wearing?
1387
01:01:34,880 --> 01:01:35,920
You know Brace.
1388
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:37,320
Yeah. Must be trendy.
1389
01:01:37,760 --> 01:01:39,440
DIRECTOR:
Fifteen seconds, people.
1390
01:01:39,520 --> 01:01:42,320
Sweetie pie,
get rid of the gum.
1391
01:01:44,760 --> 01:01:46,000
Billy!
Come on, Brace.
1392
01:01:46,240 --> 01:01:47,840
Leave the gum, Billy!
1393
01:01:47,920 --> 01:01:49,600
Get the gum, Billy!
1394
01:01:49,640 --> 01:01:51,320
MAN: Brace, 10 seconds.
No.
1395
01:01:51,560 --> 01:01:53,640
Ready camera two live,
in five...
1396
01:01:53,800 --> 01:01:55,280
Give me the gum, Brace.
No! No! No!
1397
01:01:55,600 --> 01:01:56,920
Four...
No!
1398
01:01:57,080 --> 01:01:58,320
Leave it! Leave it!
Three...
1399
01:01:58,400 --> 01:01:59,880
Get the damn gum!
1400
01:01:59,920 --> 01:02:01,400
(ROARS)
1401
01:02:01,440 --> 01:02:03,600
ANNOUNCER:
Are there aliens
amongst us?
1402
01:02:04,040 --> 01:02:06,280
This report is
being broadcast live.
1403
01:02:06,360 --> 01:02:07,360
The gum is out.
1404
01:02:07,440 --> 01:02:08,920
Oh, good.
Thanks to you, Felix.
1405
01:02:10,080 --> 01:02:12,960
And now, Howard Greenly...
1406
01:02:13,080 --> 01:02:14,720
And cue Howard.
...and Brace Channing.
1407
01:02:16,360 --> 01:02:17,600
Good evening,
I'm Howard Greenly.
(GROANING)
1408
01:02:17,680 --> 01:02:18,960
What's up with her?
I don't know.
1409
01:02:19,040 --> 01:02:22,280
And the nation is watching
as a spectacular story
is developing
1410
01:02:22,360 --> 01:02:25,080
throughout the day
right here in
Southern California.
1411
01:02:27,440 --> 01:02:30,480
Our own Brace Channing has
been following the events
as they take place.
1412
01:02:31,120 --> 01:02:32,800
Brace?
(GROANS)
1413
01:02:33,640 --> 01:02:34,640
What is she doing?
1414
01:02:34,680 --> 01:02:36,400
Howard...
Camera two go.
1415
01:02:36,480 --> 01:02:37,480
No!
1416
01:02:38,320 --> 01:02:39,520
GREENLY: Brace?
1417
01:02:40,360 --> 01:02:41,360
Brace!
1418
01:02:41,440 --> 01:02:42,480
Just read the copy!
1419
01:02:42,680 --> 01:02:44,640
(GROANS)
Just get the nurplex.
1420
01:02:45,520 --> 01:02:46,560
What's going on here?
1421
01:02:47,800 --> 01:02:49,920
Is there an alien
amongst us?
1422
01:02:50,160 --> 01:02:51,160
It's all right.
1423
01:02:51,200 --> 01:02:53,040
According to
Dr. Elliot Coleye,
1424
01:02:53,120 --> 01:02:56,000
chief biologist
and head researcher
for the SETI group,
1425
01:02:56,400 --> 01:02:58,000
the answer is...
1426
01:03:00,600 --> 01:03:01,600
Yes.
1427
01:03:02,280 --> 01:03:03,480
She's an alien!
1428
01:03:03,600 --> 01:03:05,360
She's not an alien.
She's my daughter!
1429
01:03:05,440 --> 01:03:07,800
(VOICE TONALITY WAVERING)
What you're about to see
is the evidence
1430
01:03:07,920 --> 01:03:10,120
of actual
footage of the alien.
1431
01:03:10,480 --> 01:03:13,160
But I warn you,
it's appearance is unlike
1432
01:03:13,760 --> 01:03:15,800
anything
you are ever likely
to have seen before.
1433
01:03:16,000 --> 01:03:19,000
She's going under the table.
She's going under the table!
1434
01:03:19,040 --> 01:03:20,840
And perhaps not
appropriate for...
1435
01:03:20,920 --> 01:03:22,000
And go.
1436
01:03:22,080 --> 01:03:24,160
♪ Feelin' hot, hot, hot ♪
1437
01:03:24,320 --> 01:03:25,360
What the hell is this?
1438
01:03:25,400 --> 01:03:26,840
Somebody
mislabeled the tapes!
1439
01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:28,680
Come on. Got it!
1440
01:03:28,840 --> 01:03:29,960
I don't know.
Let's go back live.
1441
01:03:30,960 --> 01:03:31,960
O'Hara!
1442
01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:33,840
What is O'Hara doing
with my daughter?
1443
01:03:33,880 --> 01:03:35,560
(STUTTERING)
I don't know. I...
1444
01:03:36,080 --> 01:03:38,080
Get me out of here!
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
1445
01:03:38,160 --> 01:03:39,320
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
1446
01:03:39,360 --> 01:03:41,680
What do you
want me to do?
Get me the network!
1447
01:03:42,400 --> 01:03:43,680
You're a dead man,
O'Hara!
1448
01:03:43,840 --> 01:03:44,880
Come on!
1449
01:03:44,960 --> 01:03:46,360
I think that went
pretty well, don't you?
1450
01:03:47,880 --> 01:03:48,920
(MUFFLED SHOUTING)
1451
01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:51,120
MARTIN: All right,
all right. Calm down.
1452
01:03:52,160 --> 01:03:53,720
Search everywhere!
1453
01:03:53,800 --> 01:03:56,400
Boy, her head
was dark and empty.
1454
01:03:56,480 --> 01:03:58,560
There they are!
There they are!
1455
01:03:58,640 --> 01:03:59,920
(MUFFLED SHOUTING)
1456
01:04:00,320 --> 01:04:01,440
Wait!
1457
01:04:03,640 --> 01:04:06,400
I think Miss Channing
might have been
contaminated by the alien.
1458
01:04:06,440 --> 01:04:07,440
Hmm?
1459
01:04:07,520 --> 01:04:09,560
I'm just going
to give her
a quick examination.
1460
01:04:09,640 --> 01:04:11,720
(MUFFLED SHOUT) No!
1461
01:04:11,960 --> 01:04:13,840
I'll just be a moment.
1462
01:04:14,240 --> 01:04:15,760
Ah, there we go.
1463
01:04:15,920 --> 01:04:18,560
Let's see.
Am I forgetting something?
1464
01:04:18,640 --> 01:04:19,680
Oh.
1465
01:04:19,720 --> 01:04:21,240
(HUMMING)
1466
01:04:22,280 --> 01:04:23,680
There it is.
1467
01:04:26,480 --> 01:04:28,520
Mrs. Brown, we're down here!
ZOOT:
Lady, please.
1468
01:04:28,560 --> 01:04:29,760
(BOTH SHOUTING)
1469
01:04:29,800 --> 01:04:30,960
Oh, this is darling.
1470
01:04:31,040 --> 01:04:33,400
Roll down the window,
I'm gonna hurl!
1471
01:04:33,480 --> 01:04:37,080
This will make
some child very happy
if he's got a buck or two.
1472
01:04:43,760 --> 01:04:44,920
Hey, Mrs. B.
How are you?
1473
01:04:45,040 --> 01:04:46,600
Hello, fellows.
1474
01:04:48,680 --> 01:04:49,720
Zoot!
1475
01:04:50,960 --> 01:04:51,960
Blotz!
1476
01:04:52,360 --> 01:04:54,360
My ship!
Where's my ship?
1477
01:04:54,440 --> 01:04:56,440
We only have two hours
before it explodes!
1478
01:04:56,480 --> 01:04:58,600
I'll check upstairs.
Hurry! Zoot!
1479
01:05:00,120 --> 01:05:02,120
Zoot? Where are you?
1480
01:05:03,080 --> 01:05:05,680
Blotz! You're not Zoot.
Where could he be?
1481
01:05:05,760 --> 01:05:08,440
I'm not leaving this planet
without Zoot. Tim!
1482
01:05:08,800 --> 01:05:09,840
Not upstairs.
1483
01:05:11,280 --> 01:05:12,640
What's a "rummaggie" sale?
1484
01:05:12,640 --> 01:05:14,280
"Rummaggie" sale?
1485
01:05:14,320 --> 01:05:17,240
Rummaggie...
Rummage. Mrs. Brown.
1486
01:05:23,120 --> 01:05:24,560
(TIRES SQUEALING)
(SIREN WAILING)
1487
01:05:24,800 --> 01:05:26,840
Looks like
we got company.
Blotz!
1488
01:05:26,920 --> 01:05:28,640
It's them! After them!
1489
01:05:30,400 --> 01:05:31,640
(SIRENS WAILING)
1490
01:05:31,680 --> 01:05:32,960
Hang on.
1491
01:05:33,000 --> 01:05:34,400
(HORNS HONKING)
1492
01:05:36,960 --> 01:05:38,480
Third. I repeat,
Gilford and Third.
Give me that thing.
1493
01:05:38,560 --> 01:05:40,560
Give me that thing!
I want a roadblock!
1494
01:05:42,720 --> 01:05:44,240
We're never
gonna lose them!
1495
01:05:44,320 --> 01:05:46,960
Can't you drive
any faster than that,
you pinhead?
1496
01:05:51,480 --> 01:05:52,480
Uh-oh. We're in trouble.
1497
01:05:52,760 --> 01:05:53,760
MARTIN: Maximum thrust!
1498
01:05:53,840 --> 01:05:55,320
What?
Stand on it, Stan!
1499
01:05:57,160 --> 01:05:58,400
We're gonna crash!
1500
01:05:58,480 --> 01:05:59,680
(TRIGGERS COCKING)
1501
01:05:59,960 --> 01:06:01,320
I think not!
1502
01:06:01,600 --> 01:06:02,840
(DEVICE BEEPS)
1503
01:06:02,880 --> 01:06:04,160
(TIRES SQUEALING)
1504
01:06:05,680 --> 01:06:06,920
(TIRES SQUEALING)
1505
01:06:07,120 --> 01:06:08,320
(SCREAMING)
1506
01:06:09,880 --> 01:06:10,920
Oh!
1507
01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:12,000
Shoot it! Come on!
1508
01:06:12,080 --> 01:06:13,080
(GUNS FIRING)
1509
01:06:14,160 --> 01:06:15,240
They're shooting at us!
1510
01:06:15,320 --> 01:06:16,520
Quick,
duck in that garage.
1511
01:06:16,600 --> 01:06:18,080
What garage?
There!
1512
01:06:18,240 --> 01:06:19,240
Hang on!
1513
01:06:20,280 --> 01:06:21,800
(BOTH SCREAMING)
1514
01:06:22,960 --> 01:06:26,040
Oh, Tim, why are
we stopping?
1515
01:06:27,840 --> 01:06:29,160
(CAR IGNITION GRINDING)
1516
01:06:29,520 --> 01:06:31,320
They're right there.
1517
01:06:31,920 --> 01:06:33,120
(FRUSTRATED SCREAM)
1518
01:06:35,000 --> 01:06:36,560
Get me that thing
over there.
Yes, sir.
1519
01:06:36,640 --> 01:06:38,040
We're gonna
flush them out.
1520
01:06:38,280 --> 01:06:39,360
I dropped it.
1521
01:06:39,400 --> 01:06:40,440
What? Dropped what?
1522
01:06:40,560 --> 01:06:41,680
My molecular compressor.
1523
01:06:41,920 --> 01:06:43,040
Here.
1524
01:06:43,960 --> 01:06:45,200
Use this.
1525
01:06:46,200 --> 01:06:47,240
This won't work.
1526
01:06:47,360 --> 01:06:49,400
No, use it to find it.
Oh.
1527
01:06:51,520 --> 01:06:54,400
That'll do very nicely.
Now, get it in there!
1528
01:06:54,560 --> 01:06:56,880
Ah! Ah! Nuts!
1529
01:06:56,920 --> 01:06:58,600
Ah! I found it!
1530
01:06:58,680 --> 01:07:00,800
COLEYE:
We've got you now!
1531
01:07:02,400 --> 01:07:03,440
Tim!
1532
01:07:03,760 --> 01:07:05,080
I see it.
1533
01:07:06,400 --> 01:07:07,440
(MARTIN GROANS)
1534
01:07:07,520 --> 01:07:08,800
TIM: Sorry.
1535
01:07:10,480 --> 01:07:11,920
(SHOUTING)
1536
01:07:19,600 --> 01:07:20,960
Faster. Faster.
1537
01:07:21,320 --> 01:07:23,040
It's getting closer!
1538
01:07:23,080 --> 01:07:24,480
I'm going
as fast as I can!
1539
01:07:24,600 --> 01:07:26,400
That's not gonna
be fast enough!
1540
01:07:28,840 --> 01:07:30,120
(SCREAMING)
1541
01:07:36,480 --> 01:07:38,240
Martin!
Martin, up ahead!
1542
01:07:38,520 --> 01:07:40,000
We're trapped!
Quick, make us smaller.
1543
01:07:44,280 --> 01:07:45,800
We're not
gonna make it!
1544
01:07:47,680 --> 01:07:48,720
Hang on!
1545
01:07:48,760 --> 01:07:49,840
(TIRES SCREECHING)
1546
01:07:53,480 --> 01:07:54,960
Are we clear?
1547
01:07:55,120 --> 01:07:57,200
MARTIN: (WHOOPING)
I think we did it!
1548
01:07:58,040 --> 01:07:59,520
I see light ahead.
1549
01:07:59,600 --> 01:08:01,080
TIM: Whoa!
1550
01:08:01,120 --> 01:08:02,640
(BOTH SCREAMING)
1551
01:08:14,480 --> 01:08:15,640
Where the heck are we?
1552
01:08:15,720 --> 01:08:18,720
MAN:
Hey, Elma, where's my new
Field and Stream?
1553
01:08:18,960 --> 01:08:21,360
ELMA:
It's in the bathroom,
right where you left it.
1554
01:08:21,480 --> 01:08:23,800
Oh, yeah.
I see it now.
1555
01:08:24,320 --> 01:08:26,800
By the way,
where's my tuna sandwich?
1556
01:08:27,120 --> 01:08:28,480
You want it in there?
1557
01:08:28,800 --> 01:08:30,240
(EXCLAIMING)
1558
01:08:31,040 --> 01:08:33,280
Why'd I eat that
fourth burrito?
1559
01:08:33,320 --> 01:08:35,400
(MAN GRUNTING)
Uh-oh.
1560
01:08:41,320 --> 01:08:43,280
(FLATULATES)
1561
01:08:44,800 --> 01:08:47,000
Do it. Do it now.
1562
01:08:47,080 --> 01:08:48,240
(DEVICE BEEPING)
1563
01:08:48,680 --> 01:08:49,760
(GRUNTING)
1564
01:08:49,840 --> 01:08:51,040
(SCREAMING)
1565
01:08:57,920 --> 01:08:59,200
(BRAKES SCREECHING)
1566
01:09:01,040 --> 01:09:02,800
Sorry, buddy.
I'll get you,
you son of a...
1567
01:09:03,320 --> 01:09:04,400
No!
1568
01:09:04,800 --> 01:09:07,040
Sir, the police
just had a crank call.
1569
01:09:07,120 --> 01:09:09,080
A '62 Plymouth just came out
of a toilet out in Woodlawn.
1570
01:09:09,160 --> 01:09:10,160
Ah!
1571
01:09:10,760 --> 01:09:12,200
(TIRES SCREECHING)
1572
01:09:14,240 --> 01:09:16,120
MARTIN: Stop!
Pull over! Pull over!
1573
01:09:16,200 --> 01:09:18,280
We need to talk!
Pull over!
1574
01:09:18,520 --> 01:09:19,920
(BRAKES SQUEALING)
1575
01:09:20,440 --> 01:09:22,160
Over there.
Where? Oh.
1576
01:09:22,200 --> 01:09:23,920
Get the alternator.
I'll get the ship.
1577
01:09:24,120 --> 01:09:25,360
TIM: Okay.
1578
01:09:26,120 --> 01:09:29,440
Oh, my goodness, Martin.
What's wrong?
1579
01:09:29,560 --> 01:09:31,360
Forgive me, Lorelei,
but this is urgent.
1580
01:09:31,440 --> 01:09:32,880
You have something
I need desperately.
1581
01:09:32,960 --> 01:09:34,040
Oh, well...
1582
01:09:34,240 --> 01:09:35,880
Martin, don't say that
unless you mean it.
1583
01:09:36,200 --> 01:09:37,720
You don't know
the half of it.
1584
01:09:37,800 --> 01:09:39,720
I'm from another world.
1585
01:09:39,840 --> 01:09:42,680
Oh, well, I could
have told you that.
1586
01:09:49,080 --> 01:09:50,080
(GRUNTS)
1587
01:09:52,040 --> 01:09:53,080
Martin?
1588
01:09:53,120 --> 01:09:54,720
Oh! Mmm!
1589
01:09:55,080 --> 01:09:56,320
Martin, come on!
1590
01:09:59,160 --> 01:10:01,960
When you look
at the stars,
think of me.
1591
01:10:02,480 --> 01:10:03,600
(GIGGLES)
1592
01:10:04,920 --> 01:10:08,600
(GASPS) Oh! Whew!
1593
01:10:09,520 --> 01:10:10,480
Feelings for
an Earth woman?
1594
01:10:10,600 --> 01:10:11,960
I've gotta get
off this planet.
1595
01:10:12,040 --> 01:10:13,440
I've got it!
1596
01:10:14,040 --> 01:10:15,080
I don't have
the right tools,
1597
01:10:15,120 --> 01:10:16,480
so I'm having
trouble getting...
1598
01:10:16,560 --> 01:10:17,560
Oh!
1599
01:10:18,720 --> 01:10:20,080
Or we could
do it your way.
1600
01:10:20,480 --> 01:10:23,760
But, wait!
This means your vehicle
will cease to function.
1601
01:10:24,080 --> 01:10:25,280
I know how much
it means to you.
1602
01:10:26,560 --> 01:10:29,920
Well, that's too bad.
Just had the darn
thing washed, too.
1603
01:10:30,000 --> 01:10:31,480
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1604
01:10:37,000 --> 01:10:38,880
That's good. That's...
1605
01:10:39,280 --> 01:10:41,120
Martin? Martin?
1606
01:10:44,240 --> 01:10:45,560
COLEYE: Direct hit!
1607
01:10:45,600 --> 01:10:47,120
Uncle Martin?
1608
01:10:59,200 --> 01:11:01,360
TIM: Hey! Hey, what...
1609
01:11:02,240 --> 01:11:04,360
Hey, wait,
you don't know
what you're doing!
1610
01:11:04,440 --> 01:11:06,320
Hey, hey!
1611
01:11:06,720 --> 01:11:10,400
Don't mess with
that spaceship!
It's gonna explode!
1612
01:11:10,520 --> 01:11:11,560
Narrow the beam.
1613
01:11:11,640 --> 01:11:12,640
Intensify.
1614
01:11:12,960 --> 01:11:15,360
LIZZIE: Stop, we can't
breathe in here!
1615
01:11:15,480 --> 01:11:16,480
Stop!
1616
01:11:16,520 --> 01:11:17,800
I'm not flame-retardant.
1617
01:11:18,320 --> 01:11:20,240
We're in here!
Stop it!
1618
01:11:21,640 --> 01:11:23,160
We're gonna die.
(SOBBING)
1619
01:11:23,200 --> 01:11:25,920
Die? And I'm still
virgin wool!
1620
01:11:26,000 --> 01:11:27,320
It's okay.
1621
01:11:27,960 --> 01:11:30,240
(SOBBING)
I'm scared! Hold me!
1622
01:11:30,320 --> 01:11:32,200
Oh, this is nice.
1623
01:11:32,280 --> 01:11:33,560
(BEEPING)
1624
01:11:37,200 --> 01:11:40,000
COLEYE: Easy does it.
1625
01:11:41,920 --> 01:11:43,160
Great.
1626
01:11:45,200 --> 01:11:46,360
Wow.
1627
01:11:46,920 --> 01:11:48,360
Fascinating.
1628
01:11:48,560 --> 01:11:49,600
WOMAN: Doctor.
1629
01:11:49,680 --> 01:11:52,000
It appears to
be some sort of
1630
01:11:52,120 --> 01:11:54,480
biomechanical
transmitting device.
1631
01:11:54,520 --> 01:11:57,080
Doctor,
there's some chewing gum
wedged back in his molar.
1632
01:11:57,160 --> 01:11:59,520
Leave it. Pestering me
with Juicy Fruit.
1633
01:11:59,920 --> 01:12:03,200
This guy's got
a radio station inside
of his skull. Here.
1634
01:12:03,760 --> 01:12:05,840
We'll put this
under the electron
microscope later.
1635
01:12:05,880 --> 01:12:10,520
Whoa-ho! Excellent.
Armitan's gonna be
eating his words.
1636
01:12:10,880 --> 01:12:13,800
Perfect ending
to an already perfect day.
1637
01:12:14,480 --> 01:12:15,720
He's a little pale,
isn't he?
1638
01:12:15,760 --> 01:12:18,160
I think he's having
a negative reaction
to the tranquilizers.
1639
01:12:18,280 --> 01:12:20,560
Well, two ccs of
adrenaline, stat!
1640
01:12:20,760 --> 01:12:22,400
Doctor, I think
we're losing him.
1641
01:12:22,440 --> 01:12:23,480
(POUNDING)
1642
01:12:23,560 --> 01:12:24,600
(YELLING)
Nothing.
1643
01:12:24,680 --> 01:12:25,960
MAN: Shut it down.
1644
01:12:26,560 --> 01:12:28,960
Get ready
to try it again.
This time, full power.
1645
01:12:29,040 --> 01:12:30,080
He's pointing
to something.
1646
01:12:31,800 --> 01:12:32,840
He's pointing
to the thing.
1647
01:12:33,040 --> 01:12:35,440
Pick it up. Pick...
Pick it. Yeah.
1648
01:12:35,520 --> 01:12:36,880
No. No, no, no.
1649
01:12:36,960 --> 01:12:38,840
Yes, that one.
That one.
1650
01:12:38,880 --> 01:12:41,400
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
1651
01:12:43,200 --> 01:12:45,000
This. Do this.
1652
01:12:45,440 --> 01:12:46,560
(BEEPING)
1653
01:12:48,360 --> 01:12:49,400
Yes!
1654
01:12:52,360 --> 01:12:53,640
(SHOUTING)
1655
01:12:57,960 --> 01:12:59,240
MAN: Whoa!
1656
01:13:03,600 --> 01:13:05,840
No. No, no. Oh.
1657
01:13:06,560 --> 01:13:07,960
Tim!
Hello.
1658
01:13:08,440 --> 01:13:10,560
All right, back off,
Gomer. Hey.
1659
01:13:11,040 --> 01:13:12,600
Give me that,
dipstick.
1660
01:13:12,960 --> 01:13:14,880
You get Tim.
I'll scare the locals.
1661
01:13:15,400 --> 01:13:16,480
(SHOUTS)
1662
01:13:17,360 --> 01:13:18,880
Let's get out of here!
Call security!
1663
01:13:20,120 --> 01:13:21,680
Nobody will take
on the suit!
1664
01:13:21,760 --> 01:13:24,280
My zipper is stuck,
and I'm mad as hell!
1665
01:13:24,360 --> 01:13:25,640
Lizzie, what...
Tim!
1666
01:13:25,720 --> 01:13:27,240
Oh, are you okay?
1667
01:13:27,280 --> 01:13:28,400
Fine, I'm fine.
Oh, you wouldn't
believe...
1668
01:13:28,440 --> 01:13:29,960
Are you okay?
Yeah.
1669
01:13:32,080 --> 01:13:33,320
(BEEPING)
1670
01:13:33,600 --> 01:13:35,440
We got to find Martin.
Yeah.
1671
01:13:36,840 --> 01:13:39,600
Back off!
You heard me.
1672
01:13:39,720 --> 01:13:40,720
You don't understand.
1673
01:13:40,800 --> 01:13:42,400
That spaceship's
gonna explode
in 20 minutes.
1674
01:13:42,480 --> 01:13:44,720
It is?
On the floor. Now.
1675
01:13:46,400 --> 01:13:48,240
Excuse me, Arnold?
Jean-Claude?
1676
01:13:48,800 --> 01:13:50,520
(SHOUTS)
1677
01:13:50,600 --> 01:13:52,280
Not working.
1678
01:13:52,760 --> 01:13:53,840
It's an empty suit.
1679
01:13:53,920 --> 01:13:55,040
Empty suit?
1680
01:13:55,120 --> 01:13:56,560
Now you've done it,
Grasshopper.
1681
01:13:56,640 --> 01:13:58,160
Whoo-aah!
1682
01:14:01,080 --> 01:14:03,120
Boxing?
(CHUCKLES)
1683
01:14:03,320 --> 01:14:04,880
You should be
boxing groceries.
1684
01:14:05,000 --> 01:14:06,000
(GRUNTS)
1685
01:14:06,080 --> 01:14:08,360
(LAUGHS)
That tickles, you big ox!
1686
01:14:09,640 --> 01:14:11,680
Say, aren't you one
of the Spice Girls?
1687
01:14:12,120 --> 01:14:13,840
(GROWLING)
Alley-oop!
1688
01:14:13,960 --> 01:14:15,160
(CRASHES)
1689
01:14:16,560 --> 01:14:18,200
Beavis down,
Butt-head to go.
1690
01:14:18,280 --> 01:14:20,320
So, is it true
you peed your bunk
in summer camp?
1691
01:14:20,360 --> 01:14:21,720
(GUN FIRING)
1692
01:14:21,800 --> 01:14:22,800
(SCREAMS)
1693
01:14:23,040 --> 01:14:25,640
(GRUNTING) Oh, gee...
1694
01:14:26,840 --> 01:14:28,240
Tim! Lizzie!
1695
01:14:29,480 --> 01:14:30,480
(GRUNTING)
1696
01:14:39,120 --> 01:14:40,320
(GRUNTS)
1697
01:14:44,680 --> 01:14:46,320
(GROWLS)
(SCREAMS)
1698
01:14:46,360 --> 01:14:47,480
(GROWLING)
1699
01:14:47,520 --> 01:14:48,800
(GROANING)
1700
01:14:52,880 --> 01:14:54,200
(GROANING CONTINUES)
1701
01:14:56,120 --> 01:14:57,120
Uh-oh.
1702
01:14:57,800 --> 01:14:58,960
This is gonna hurt.
1703
01:14:59,040 --> 01:15:00,160
(GRUNTS)
1704
01:15:01,520 --> 01:15:02,840
(LIZZIE GASPS)
1705
01:15:04,000 --> 01:15:05,360
Lizzie.
1706
01:15:05,960 --> 01:15:08,080
The ship's going
to explode.
1707
01:15:08,600 --> 01:15:10,640
Veenox Seven.
Chew this.
1708
01:15:11,520 --> 01:15:13,560
TIM: You gotta
believe me.
1709
01:15:24,040 --> 01:15:26,080
Whoa!
1710
01:15:27,080 --> 01:15:28,480
(GROWLS)
1711
01:15:32,080 --> 01:15:33,320
(SCREAMING)
1712
01:15:41,040 --> 01:15:42,080
(ROARS)
1713
01:15:42,120 --> 01:15:43,440
(SCREAMING)
1714
01:15:48,080 --> 01:15:49,520
(GROWLING)
1715
01:15:50,760 --> 01:15:52,080
(SCREAMING)
1716
01:15:59,640 --> 01:16:00,840
(BELCHES)
1717
01:16:00,920 --> 01:16:02,160
Uh-oh.
1718
01:16:02,520 --> 01:16:04,440
Did you do something
with your hair?
1719
01:16:04,800 --> 01:16:06,480
Glad you noticed.
1720
01:16:06,600 --> 01:16:08,080
(ROARS)
1721
01:16:17,600 --> 01:16:18,760
(EXCLAIMS)
1722
01:16:19,960 --> 01:16:21,200
(SIGHS)
1723
01:16:24,080 --> 01:16:25,680
I think I liked you
better the other way.
1724
01:16:25,760 --> 01:16:26,800
Oh, really?
1725
01:16:26,880 --> 01:16:28,000
(IN RASPY VOICE)
Well, that can
be arranged.
1726
01:16:28,080 --> 01:16:30,160
No, no, no.
We gotta find Martin.
1727
01:16:30,240 --> 01:16:31,240
Where's Zoot?
1728
01:16:31,280 --> 01:16:33,400
(MOANING)
1729
01:16:34,240 --> 01:16:35,480
Oh, no.
1730
01:16:38,280 --> 01:16:40,280
Come on! Come on!
1731
01:16:41,240 --> 01:16:42,480
Doctor, he's gone.
1732
01:16:42,560 --> 01:16:43,600
NURSE: No pulse.
1733
01:16:43,800 --> 01:16:46,760
He's not gone
till I say he's gone,
so back off!
1734
01:16:47,120 --> 01:16:49,480
Back off! Now!
NURSE: Charge the paddles.
1735
01:16:49,760 --> 01:16:51,200
MAN: All right,
we're charged.
1736
01:16:51,280 --> 01:16:52,480
COLEYE: Clear! Clear!
1737
01:16:52,560 --> 01:16:53,960
MAN: Doctor,
we're driving
this too hard.
1738
01:16:54,000 --> 01:16:56,000
All right. Clear!
1739
01:16:56,200 --> 01:16:57,440
Come on, Martin.
1740
01:16:57,480 --> 01:16:58,840
(ELECTRICITY BUZZING)
1741
01:16:59,160 --> 01:17:00,400
Oh, damn!
1742
01:17:00,480 --> 01:17:01,600
There's no pulse,
Doctor.
1743
01:17:01,680 --> 01:17:05,800
All right, all right.
I'm calling it. 8:15.
1744
01:17:06,160 --> 01:17:07,320
We're too late.
1745
01:17:07,360 --> 01:17:09,040
ZOOT:
No, hurry!
1746
01:17:10,400 --> 01:17:12,120
MAN: Would you like me to
do the autopsy, Doctor?
1747
01:17:12,160 --> 01:17:13,840
Are you insane?
1748
01:17:13,880 --> 01:17:14,880
You get out of here!
Get out!
1749
01:17:14,960 --> 01:17:16,400
All right.
All right.
1750
01:17:16,480 --> 01:17:18,320
All of you idiots,
you get out.
1751
01:17:18,360 --> 01:17:19,400
I'm going!
You get out.
1752
01:17:19,480 --> 01:17:21,520
You get right out.
Clowns!
1753
01:17:21,840 --> 01:17:23,120
Come on.
1754
01:17:24,280 --> 01:17:28,640
Okay, my sorry
little Martian.
1755
01:17:29,600 --> 01:17:31,240
Have it your way.
1756
01:17:33,040 --> 01:17:34,880
Let's open you up.
1757
01:17:35,520 --> 01:17:36,800
LIZZIE:
Assistance, Doctor?
1758
01:17:36,880 --> 01:17:38,880
What? No! You...
1759
01:17:39,920 --> 01:17:41,680
Hey, wait a minute.
You're not...
1760
01:17:42,040 --> 01:17:43,320
She came with me.
1761
01:17:43,360 --> 01:17:44,360
Oh?
Clear.
1762
01:17:44,720 --> 01:17:45,920
(ELECTRICITY ZAPPING)
1763
01:17:48,000 --> 01:17:49,000
(MOANS)
1764
01:17:54,120 --> 01:17:57,000
ZOOT:
Must... Be together.
1765
01:18:17,680 --> 01:18:18,800
Zoot!
1766
01:18:26,040 --> 01:18:27,160
(LAUGHS)
1767
01:18:31,360 --> 01:18:32,400
(GASPS)
1768
01:18:32,480 --> 01:18:33,680
Martin?
1769
01:18:37,240 --> 01:18:38,600
Martin!
(GROANS)
1770
01:18:38,760 --> 01:18:40,600
Tim! Lizzie!
1771
01:18:40,760 --> 01:18:42,280
You're... You're...
ZOOT:
Breathing, baby!
1772
01:18:42,360 --> 01:18:43,720
I still got the touch.
1773
01:18:43,760 --> 01:18:45,560
Oh, you beauteous
bathrobe!
1774
01:18:45,600 --> 01:18:46,760
(LAUGHING)
Martin...
1775
01:18:46,800 --> 01:18:48,080
Let's see cotton
do that, huh?
1776
01:18:48,200 --> 01:18:51,160
Easy, I got an image.
Okay, okay.
1777
01:18:51,240 --> 01:18:52,960
Martin! Martin!
1778
01:18:53,840 --> 01:18:54,960
We don't have much time.
1779
01:18:55,120 --> 01:18:56,280
Blotz!
1780
01:18:57,360 --> 01:18:59,560
MAN OVER LOUDSPEAKER:
Shut down and
monitor all exits.
1781
01:18:59,600 --> 01:19:00,960
(SIREN WAILING)
1782
01:19:02,160 --> 01:19:04,640
WOMAN OVER LOUDSPEAKER:
All units stand by
for total lockup.
1783
01:19:06,960 --> 01:19:08,040
Martin,
can you get the lock?
1784
01:19:08,120 --> 01:19:09,640
I think so.
1785
01:19:10,360 --> 01:19:12,040
(ELECTRICITY HUMMING)
1786
01:19:12,120 --> 01:19:13,520
Come on!
1787
01:19:14,800 --> 01:19:16,840
MAN OVER LOUDSPEAKER:
Biotech units on alert.
1788
01:19:18,720 --> 01:19:20,760
WOMAN OVER LOUDSPEAKER:
All non-security personnel
1789
01:19:20,800 --> 01:19:22,320
are to report to
their holding areas.
1790
01:19:22,360 --> 01:19:23,840
Come on. Stay down!
1791
01:19:23,920 --> 01:19:25,440
Stay down.
1792
01:19:25,960 --> 01:19:27,520
Here's a place.
1793
01:19:28,480 --> 01:19:30,440
All right.
Stand back, you two.
1794
01:19:30,520 --> 01:19:31,720
(DEVICE BEEPING)
1795
01:19:39,280 --> 01:19:40,520
(SIREN WAILING)
1796
01:19:40,600 --> 01:19:42,440
What's going on?
Where's the alien?
1797
01:19:42,560 --> 01:19:43,640
There's been
a slight problem, sir.
1798
01:19:43,760 --> 01:19:45,680
Open that gate.
Let's find Dr. Coleye.
1799
01:19:45,800 --> 01:19:47,320
Yes, sir. Yes,
sir, yes, sir. Right away.
Come on!
1800
01:19:47,400 --> 01:19:49,040
Let them through!
1801
01:19:51,520 --> 01:19:52,760
Here.
1802
01:19:56,000 --> 01:19:57,960
There. Contact.
1803
01:19:59,000 --> 01:20:01,160
There. I think
that's going to work.
1804
01:20:04,000 --> 01:20:05,000
I'm gonna
miss you, Martin.
1805
01:20:05,080 --> 01:20:06,080
(ZOOT SOBBING)
1806
01:20:06,160 --> 01:20:07,360
You too, Zoot.
1807
01:20:07,400 --> 01:20:09,400
ZOOT:
You're so full
of starch!
1808
01:20:09,480 --> 01:20:10,920
Let them know
how you feel!
1809
01:20:11,000 --> 01:20:12,240
(CHUCKLES)
1810
01:20:12,320 --> 01:20:13,720
You're the best pet
I ever had!
1811
01:20:13,800 --> 01:20:16,160
Stop being such
a baby blanket.
1812
01:20:16,200 --> 01:20:17,800
(ZOOT SOBBING)
(MUTTERS)
1813
01:20:19,680 --> 01:20:21,720
Lizzie, my dear friend.
1814
01:20:23,240 --> 01:20:24,880
Take care,
Uncle Martin.
1815
01:20:28,520 --> 01:20:32,560
I've done that before.
It's very nice.
I highly recommend it.
1816
01:20:35,560 --> 01:20:36,760
Good luck, you two.
1817
01:20:43,640 --> 01:20:46,240
Something tells me
you're gonna
miss your flight.
1818
01:20:46,240 --> 01:20:47,800
Then in two minutes,
we all die.
1819
01:20:48,440 --> 01:20:49,640
You're lying.
1820
01:20:49,720 --> 01:20:52,200
Are you certain
about that, Coleye?
1821
01:20:53,600 --> 01:20:55,200
Because I'm not.
1822
01:20:55,280 --> 01:20:56,320
What are you saying?
1823
01:20:56,480 --> 01:20:57,480
Release him.
1824
01:20:57,640 --> 01:20:59,080
Release him?
1825
01:20:59,160 --> 01:21:02,920
I have spent an entire career
trying to prove
that aliens exist.
1826
01:21:03,320 --> 01:21:04,720
Now he's my proof!
1827
01:21:05,240 --> 01:21:08,920
Dead or alive,
he's staying with me!
1828
01:21:08,960 --> 01:21:10,360
(EXCLAIMING)
1829
01:21:10,920 --> 01:21:12,160
Whoa!
1830
01:21:13,760 --> 01:21:15,400
Martin?
COLEYE:
I don't understand!
1831
01:21:17,640 --> 01:21:20,480
Coleye, you always
were a little blotz.
1832
01:21:21,360 --> 01:21:22,880
COLEYE: What?
Neenurt!
1833
01:21:22,920 --> 01:21:24,000
Neenurt?
1834
01:21:24,080 --> 01:21:25,480
(LAUGHING)
1835
01:21:25,680 --> 01:21:28,000
I haven't heard that name
in a long time.
1836
01:21:28,080 --> 01:21:29,600
Pronounced properly,
anyway.
1837
01:21:29,680 --> 01:21:32,080
You mean
it was you all along?
1838
01:21:32,360 --> 01:21:37,120
I can't believe this!
I should have known!
You're a Martian?
1839
01:21:37,320 --> 01:21:38,440
I was...
1840
01:21:38,480 --> 01:21:40,080
(SCREAMING)
1841
01:21:51,800 --> 01:21:53,120
(GROANING)
1842
01:21:53,680 --> 01:21:56,560
Wait a minute.
You're the one
I saw at the pier.
1843
01:21:56,800 --> 01:21:58,800
I was trying
to get to you
before they did.
1844
01:21:58,840 --> 01:22:01,640
I've been trying
to hitch a ride home
for 30 years.
1845
01:22:02,080 --> 01:22:04,840
What a beauty!
Oh, by the way,
1846
01:22:05,960 --> 01:22:07,920
I believe
these belong to you.
1847
01:22:07,960 --> 01:22:10,760
(GASPS) My antennae.
1848
01:22:11,280 --> 01:22:12,280
I can't go home
without these.
1849
01:22:12,320 --> 01:22:13,960
I have
a hard enough time
getting dates as it is.
1850
01:22:14,200 --> 01:22:16,320
Mine's always
giving me trouble, too.
1851
01:22:16,400 --> 01:22:18,000
And everything's
in black and white.
1852
01:22:18,200 --> 01:22:20,320
And those commercials,
"Plop, plop, fizz, fizz."
1853
01:22:20,400 --> 01:22:21,400
(GROANING)
1854
01:22:22,440 --> 01:22:25,040
That gum lost
its flavor in '66.
1855
01:22:25,480 --> 01:22:28,160
All right. Let's go.
Let's go. Come on.
1856
01:22:28,200 --> 01:22:29,520
Got to go. Farewell.
1857
01:22:29,600 --> 01:22:31,560
Come back for
a visit sometime.
1858
01:22:31,680 --> 01:22:32,840
Maybe.
1859
01:22:34,240 --> 01:22:37,360
I'm beginning to
see a glimmer of potential
among you earthlings.
1860
01:22:37,440 --> 01:22:38,840
One word of advice:
1861
01:22:38,880 --> 01:22:41,000
You'll never completely
advance as a culture
1862
01:22:41,200 --> 01:22:43,160
until you take care
of your oceans
1863
01:22:43,200 --> 01:22:44,840
and do away with
daytime talk shows.
1864
01:22:47,440 --> 01:22:49,520
(SOBBING)
Goodbye,
you crazy lovebirds!
1865
01:22:49,600 --> 01:22:51,680
Ah, stop being such
a hysterical housecoat.
1866
01:22:52,760 --> 01:22:54,080
See you, Zoot.
(CHUCKLES)
1867
01:22:54,440 --> 01:22:57,200
♪ Rollin', rollin', rollin'
Keep them doggies rollin' ♪
1868
01:22:59,360 --> 01:23:00,560
(GROWLING)
1869
01:23:00,640 --> 01:23:01,840
Aliens!
1870
01:23:06,360 --> 01:23:09,200
Wait! No!
1871
01:23:09,480 --> 01:23:11,680
No, please!
No, you can't!
1872
01:23:12,040 --> 01:23:15,320
Don't go! Come back!
1873
01:23:15,360 --> 01:23:17,840
No!
1874
01:23:18,720 --> 01:23:20,160
(FRUSTRATED SCREAM)
1875
01:23:21,200 --> 01:23:22,680
(GROANS)
1876
01:23:23,200 --> 01:23:25,080
What the... Ew!
1877
01:23:25,360 --> 01:23:27,360
Gum. Gum.
1878
01:23:28,720 --> 01:23:32,400
Wait, this is
the alien gum! Yes!
1879
01:23:32,440 --> 01:23:34,320
Wait, wait.
I wouldn't do that
if I were you.
1880
01:23:34,400 --> 01:23:36,280
Well, you're not me,
are you?
1881
01:23:36,360 --> 01:23:38,240
(LAUGHING)
1882
01:23:39,560 --> 01:23:41,400
I can learn more
about them
1883
01:23:41,480 --> 01:23:43,280
from their leftovers.
1884
01:23:43,800 --> 01:23:45,760
Wha... That's brilliant!
1885
01:23:46,040 --> 01:23:50,360
I can feel every
molecule of my body
starting to change.
1886
01:23:50,480 --> 01:23:52,160
Oh, no.
1887
01:23:52,240 --> 01:23:53,680
(LAUGHING)
1888
01:23:56,360 --> 01:23:57,520
(GULPS)
1889
01:23:58,640 --> 01:23:59,880
Oh, no.
1890
01:24:05,160 --> 01:24:07,360
Hold it! Don't move!
1891
01:24:07,560 --> 01:24:08,600
No!
1892
01:24:08,640 --> 01:24:09,760
(GUN COCKS)
Stop! Don't shoot!
1893
01:24:09,800 --> 01:24:10,800
Get the tranquillizer gun.
1894
01:24:10,880 --> 01:24:13,280
No, not that,
you idiots!
1895
01:24:13,720 --> 01:24:14,920
I'm not a Martian.
1896
01:24:14,960 --> 01:24:16,840
We got him, boys.
Get the tranquillizer gun.
1897
01:24:16,920 --> 01:24:19,280
We've got one.
A real live Martian!
1898
01:24:19,360 --> 01:24:21,600
It's me, Coleye.
MAN: I got
the tranquillizer gun.
1899
01:24:21,640 --> 01:24:23,400
COLEYE: No, no, no!
1900
01:24:23,440 --> 01:24:24,760
(TRANQUILIZER GUN FIRES)
(COLEYE GROANS)
1901
01:24:26,040 --> 01:24:27,920
MAN ON TV:
The truth is out there!
1902
01:24:28,680 --> 01:24:32,320
We are not leaving until
they listen to us!
We've got proof!
1903
01:24:32,400 --> 01:24:35,560
I saw one!
He cloned my body!
1904
01:24:35,600 --> 01:24:37,520
He could be
anywhere by now!
1905
01:24:37,600 --> 01:24:39,400
The truth is out there!
1906
01:24:40,640 --> 01:24:42,000
The truth is out there!
1907
01:24:42,080 --> 01:24:45,840
So that's the story here
from Santa Barbara City Hall.
1908
01:24:45,920 --> 01:24:48,560
I'm Bill Randall, KGSC.
1909
01:24:48,640 --> 01:24:49,960
CROWD: (CHANTING)
The truth, the truth,
1910
01:24:50,040 --> 01:24:51,960
the truth,
the truth, the truth!
1911
01:24:52,000 --> 01:24:53,480
It's all I...
1912
01:24:57,520 --> 01:25:00,800
Hey, sleepy.
Brought you some tea.
1913
01:25:00,960 --> 01:25:01,960
(CHUCKLES)
1914
01:25:05,160 --> 01:25:06,360
Listen,
I've been thinking.
1915
01:25:07,320 --> 01:25:10,160
Now that I really know
what happened between us,
1916
01:25:10,240 --> 01:25:11,640
I think maybe we
should just go back
1917
01:25:11,720 --> 01:25:13,160
to the way
things used to be.
1918
01:25:13,200 --> 01:25:14,680
Mmm.
1919
01:25:14,800 --> 01:25:16,560
Cause our friendship
really does mean
a lot to me.
1920
01:25:16,640 --> 01:25:19,440
Yeah, well,
I've been thinking,
too, and...
1921
01:25:20,240 --> 01:25:22,520
I think I've got
enough friends.
1922
01:25:27,760 --> 01:25:29,240
(WHOOSHING)
1923
01:25:34,200 --> 01:25:35,720
(RATTLING)
1924
01:25:41,320 --> 01:25:42,560
(CAT SCREECHES)
1925
01:25:46,160 --> 01:25:47,680
(RATTLING)
1926
01:25:49,120 --> 01:25:50,200
(HISSING)
1927
01:25:50,240 --> 01:25:53,840
One giant leap for man,
one step backward
for Martians.
1928
01:25:54,200 --> 01:25:55,240
Zoot?
(ZOOT CHUCKLES)
1929
01:25:55,320 --> 01:25:57,360
Hey, Tim, Lizzie!
We're back!
1930
01:25:57,680 --> 01:25:58,880
(CHUCKLES)
1931
01:25:59,200 --> 01:26:01,160
Zoot. (GRUNTING)
1932
01:26:01,320 --> 01:26:02,720
Oh, geez!
1933
01:26:02,960 --> 01:26:04,480
Call a skycap,
for crying out loud.
1934
01:26:04,760 --> 01:26:05,800
What's wrong?
1935
01:26:05,880 --> 01:26:06,880
Nothing.
1936
01:26:06,920 --> 01:26:09,360
We've decided to
stay here with you.
1937
01:26:09,560 --> 01:26:10,840
(STUTTERING) You what?
1938
01:26:11,080 --> 01:26:13,880
I kept thinking how lonely
I was gonna be without you.
1939
01:26:14,160 --> 01:26:16,240
And since you said
you were gonna miss me,
1940
01:26:16,480 --> 01:26:19,680
I thought I'd save us both
the heartache of separation.
1941
01:26:19,880 --> 01:26:21,040
Ya-hah!
1942
01:26:21,200 --> 01:26:22,240
(WHOOPING)
1943
01:26:22,320 --> 01:26:26,760
(STUTTERING) But, Martin,
I can't miss you
if you don't go.
1944
01:26:27,040 --> 01:26:30,400
Exactly!
Isn't it wonderful?
1945
01:26:31,240 --> 01:26:33,000
Farewell, Neenurt!
1946
01:26:34,440 --> 01:26:36,400
Wait a minute,
wait a minute.
Where's he going?
1947
01:26:36,640 --> 01:26:38,400
To Mars, of course!
1948
01:26:40,080 --> 01:26:41,560
(WHOOSHING)
1949
01:26:44,040 --> 01:26:45,440
Whoo-hoo! (LAUGHING)
1950
01:26:47,160 --> 01:26:49,920
Martin. Martin,
what are you doing?
1951
01:26:50,000 --> 01:26:51,920
Tim, since we'll
be living together,
1952
01:26:51,960 --> 01:26:53,440
let's do something
about this furniture.
1953
01:26:53,560 --> 01:26:54,720
Living together?
What do you mean...
1954
01:26:54,760 --> 01:26:56,400
I say we get
rid of this couch,
1955
01:26:56,440 --> 01:26:59,440
and buy
a hyperbolic resting chamber
like normal beings have.
1956
01:26:59,760 --> 01:27:00,920
No, no.
No, you're not
staying here.
1957
01:27:00,960 --> 01:27:02,440
Hey, who wants
ice cream?
1958
01:27:02,520 --> 01:27:05,440
Tonight I'm craving
praline swirl.
1959
01:27:05,480 --> 01:27:07,400
Martin. What, you think
this is funny?
1960
01:27:07,440 --> 01:27:09,680
You haven't seen
him eat ice cream.
It's not pretty!
1961
01:27:09,920 --> 01:27:12,600
Rocky road!
Rocky road!
Rocky road!
1962
01:27:13,400 --> 01:27:15,600
Martin.
Martin, you can't...
He doesn't sleep.
1963
01:27:15,640 --> 01:27:17,240
He doesn't let me sleep.
This can't happen.
1964
01:27:17,280 --> 01:27:20,520
I can't have a Martian
for a roommate.
1965
01:27:20,600 --> 01:27:22,280
I can't. I just...
1966
01:27:23,360 --> 01:27:25,040
Oh, maybe I can.
(LAUGHS)
1967
01:27:25,280 --> 01:27:29,320
Zoot, we've got
cookie dough.
Want some?
1968
01:27:29,960 --> 01:27:31,800
Zoot.
Zoot, where are you?
1969
01:27:32,920 --> 01:27:35,160
Bartender,
a Mai-Tide, please.
1970
01:27:36,320 --> 01:27:39,240
Ah, Victoria's Secret.
1971
01:27:40,720 --> 01:27:42,960
You people
know how to live!
1972
01:27:43,000 --> 01:27:45,360
(LAUGHING)
Lycra.