1
00:00:58,141 --> 00:00:59,142
(Bruce) 'Salsa.'
2
00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:00,645
(I Upbeat Salsa Music)
3
00:01:01,812 --> 00:01:04,611
'It was like something
from another planet,
4
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:09,282
'the music, the passion, the rhythm.
5
00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:15,250
'Once I put those shoes on,
I never wanted to take them off.
6
00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:21,749
'It was like I had fire in my heels.
7
00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:27,676
'I was an unstoppable salsa machine,
trophy after trophy after trophy,
8
00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:30,515
'all overseen by my mentor,
Ron Parfitt,
9
00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:32,930
'great coach, hard bastard.'
10
00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:34,724
Most people think you dance
with your feet. Bollocks.
11
00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:38,349
You dance with your heart.
You dance with e/ corazén.
12
00:01:38,473 --> 00:01:40,851
And Bruce,
Bruce has got a heart like a bison
13
00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:43,024
and balls like an elephant.
14
00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:49,909
(Bruce) 'And by side,
my sister and dance partner, Sam.'
15
00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:52,530
(Both) Thunder, Thunder, Thunder,
16
00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:55,328
"ThunderCats". Ho!
17
00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:57,868
(Whistling and cheering)
18
00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:01,459
(Man) Ten!
19
00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:02,877
(Bruce) 'We travelled the circuit,
20
00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:05,421
'Berkshire, Buckinghamshire,
Bedfordshire,
21
00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:10,264
'We won it all, every title going,
except one - the Nationals.
22
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:15,511
'Cuban heels, silk shirt,
1,000 hand-sewn sequins.
23
00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:19,640
'I was ready to take on the world.
24
00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:24,357
'But sometimes salsa
just throws you out for a spin.'
25
00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:27,860
Oi, wanker, nice shirt.
26
00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:34,537
(Bully) Hey!
27
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:36,623
Come here!
28
00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:42,963
(Bruce) 'I don't know where I was
when I fell in love with salsa.
29
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:46,629
'But I know exactly where I was
when it stopped.'
30
00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:49,469
Who do you think you are?
Barry Manilow?
31
00:02:51,088 --> 00:02:52,886
(MC) 'Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to the Nationals...'
32
00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:04,185
(Bruce)
'l never turned up that night.
33
00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:06,812
'I just phoned him and told him,
"Salsa's for pussies."
34
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,822
'And I guess that fire in my heels,
35
00:03:15,946 --> 00:03:18,040
'it just went out.'
36
00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:27,499
(Sighs)
37
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,930
(TV blares)
38
00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:49,354
Mm.
39
00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:52,156
Oh, dear.
40
00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:55,364
Mm.
41
00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:02,660
(Sighs)
42
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:13,216
(Presenter) 'GFD Engineering,
43
00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:16,681
'Western Europe's premier supplier
of high-end manufacturing
44
00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:19,142
'and five-star industrial machinery...'
45
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:23,897
(Doorman) Bike.
(Bruce softly) Oh, God.
46
00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:27,393
Why do we have to do this every morning?
It's not a bike.
47
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:30,316
Not now it's not, but I just watched you
transform it on the monitor.
48
00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:34,324
Look, I'll admit,
for a while outside it was a bike,
49
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:37,786
but now, piff, paff, poof,
look at that.
50
00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:39,871
It's a piece of luggage.
51
00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:42,040
Bike.
52
00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:45,331
- Fucking hell.
- Juanita, buenos d/as.
53
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,671
Bruce , no .
54
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,165
No, no.
55
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:52,088
What have you gone for here?
This what you're wearing today?
56
00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:53,802
I cycle in wearing it.
57
00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:55,592
You just looked
in your wardrobe and thought,
58
00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:58,682
"I think I'll just look like
a Maxi Babybel today." Was that it?
59
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,893
- Have you shaved?
- No.
60
00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:03,432
Just lift your...
Some jam on your stubble.
61
00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:05,430
Don't do that in front of everyone.
62
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:07,649
It's a big day, a big day, man.
63
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,734
Got the new boss
starting this morning.
64
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:11,853
I hear he's a ball buster.
65
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:15,027
Well, I hear apparently he is a she.
66
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,985
You mean like a tranny?
67
00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:20,578
- No.
- No.
68
00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:23,824
- A woman.
- Oh... a woman.
69
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,373
What kind of a woman
wants to run a company
70
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,997
that specialises
in heavy industrial machinery?
71
00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:32,840
(Giggles) I think I know.
72
00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:34,926
Big, hairy.
73
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:37,720
- Big sort of big lump.
- A beast.
74
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:38,964
(Both laugh)
75
00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:41,387
Might be perfect for you.
76
00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:45,721
Hmm. Anyway, listen,
this bike's not going to park itself.
77
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:48,065
I'll see you up there, OK?
Don't be late.
78
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:51,060
I don't like my team to be late.
It's unprofessional, isn't it, bum flap?
79
00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:55,648
(Drew)
There they are, Mork and Mindy.
80
00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:12,873
- (Phone ringing)
- Uh, Helen.
81
00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:18,841
Can you not hear that?
82
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:22,465
- Hello, Bruce Garrett.
- (Drew) 'Hello, Bruce.
83
00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,468
'Do you like scary films?'
84
00:06:24,593 --> 00:06:26,061
- What?
- 'I'm doing "Scream".
85
00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:28,020
- 'You totally bought it.'
- Oh, hi, Drew.
86
00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:30,982
'They're going
to unleash the beast, Bruce.'
87
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:39,571
(Woman) Who wouldn't swap
the crystal blue waters of the Pacific
88
00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:44,413
for the endless silted mud flats
of old Father Thames? Am I right?
89
00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:50,669
Uh, and hopefully I can prove to you
that I'm a better sales manager
90
00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:52,708
than I am a public speaker.
91
00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,081
(Laughter)
92
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:56,082
I bet she's got the bag
to go with them shoes.
93
00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:59,882
- Mm?
- Her, United States of Bitch Face.
94
00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:02,426
Little Miss I'm-So-American.
95
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:04,345
(Chuckles nervously)
96
00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:07,515
OK, I'm going to stop talking now.
Let's all have a drink.
97
00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:09,889
- Hear, hear.
- (Enthusiastic applause)
98
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:14,981
- Oi.
- You were right, you know?
99
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:17,024
She is a woman.
100
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:19,898
And what a woman.
Wow-wow-wee-wah.
101
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:24,821
I would make a splash inside that
like a milk truck hitting a wall.
102
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:28,199
Listen, can we not... Can we not
talk ejaculate at the buffet table?
103
00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:32,373
Look at her, though.
Look at my little dairy queen, uh?
104
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,789
You see? You had little a look, too.
105
00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:38,463
- Oh, some tzatziki.
- Oh, that's cute.
106
00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:41,553
No, it is. It's adorable, Bruce.
That's all right. You can look.
107
00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:44,514
But don't touch 'cause that would
be embarrassing, wouldn't it?
108
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,850
- Just leave it to the experts.
- Sure.
109
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:50,597
- The sexperts. I just coined that.
- That's quite good, actually.
110
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,222
- Wasn't it?
- Don't!
111
00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:54,808
(I Low key dance music)
112
00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,484
(I Music drowns them out)
113
00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:00,730
Whoa!
114
00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:04,200
Work time is over,
motherfuckers.
115
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,786
Ah, I think we know what that means.
116
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:09,873
That means,
oh, oh, it's party time.
117
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,537
That's right.
118
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,911
Who wants to come and play
with the dancing bear?
119
00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:17,084
This one...
This one loves a little bear time.
120
00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:19,082
- Oh, God.
- Come on.
121
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:21,881
- Not me.
- Come on. Come on. Come on.
122
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,754
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
123
00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:27,303
Oh, there it is. You've got
a little bit of rhythm going on there.
124
00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:30,724
(Drew) That's it, see?
What are you worried about?
125
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:33,597
- She moves like a gem.
- Oh.
126
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:35,395
- Oh, yeah.
- What are you like?
127
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:38,985
And she loves a spin.
That was good, you see?
128
00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:41,150
Oh, what about this one?
129
00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:43,694
Little silent
but deadly in the corner.
130
00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:46,739
- Stop it.
- You going to come dancing with me?
131
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:50,080
- Just a little something-something.
- Don't.
132
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:52,449
- What?
- I don't dance.
133
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:56,624
- Everybody's dancing.
- I don't dance. I don't like it.
134
00:08:57,579 --> 00:08:59,673
All right, make yourself useful.
135
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:01,791
(Drew) Oh, oh. (Laughs)
136
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,966
Come on. (Mimics lasso sound)
137
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:08,386
Oh, the line broke,
'cause it was a big fish.
138
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:12,139
What time is it?
It's Cossack time!
139
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:16,556
(Drew) Oh, yes.
140
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,686
Hey, Bruce!
141
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,355
(Helen laughs raucously)
142
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:26,783
(Laughs raucously) Oh, you like it!
143
00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:30,074
(I Distant music and chattering)
144
00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:33,623
- Whoa.
- Whoa.
145
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,993
- Wow, I am so sorry.
- Sorry, I'm sorry.
146
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:38,540
We've got tangled here.
Let me try and get this... Ow!
147
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,129
- Ow.
- Ow.
148
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:43,250
Again, I'm sorry.
Are you all right?
149
00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:45,468
Where am I?
Am I in England?
150
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,963
No, I'm fine. (Laughs)
Just... fine.
151
00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:51,975
Maybe we should get these untangled.
152
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:54,720
- Bruce Garrett.
- Bruce Garrett, that's me and...
153
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:59,145
- Julio Matthews.
- They printed it wrong.
154
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,393
But I like it,
so I'm going to keep it.
155
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,737
Yeah. No, you should.
I think it suits you.
156
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:05,855
Adds Latin flavour to it.
157
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:08,108
(Chuckles) Oh.
158
00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:12,867
I just want you to know
I wasn't trying to escape your party.
159
00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:17,413
No, me neither. Why would anybody
want to leave that amazing party?
160
00:10:18,409 --> 00:10:20,377
- Uh, shall we...
- Yes.
161
00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:25,584
Well, what a pickle, a 3-D jigsaw.
162
00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:28,302
Thank you. Nice to meet you, Bruce.
163
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:31,931
Likewise... Julio.
164
00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:35,309
Mm.
165
00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:38,225
Mm. Do you know what I like
best about this place?
166
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:40,144
Apart from the free glacé cherries?
167
00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:42,359
Apart from the free glacé cherries,
168
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,193
the fact that they still insist upon
169
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:46,278
my little sister dressing up
like a Tongan concubine.
170
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:49,616
Oh, they don't insist
and I prefer Polynesian call girl.
171
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:51,200
Mm-hm.
172
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,115
So talk me through head-butting
your new boss.
173
00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:55,910
Well, actually,
she might have head-butted me,
174
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:59,705
but our lanyards tangled.
There was a struggle, you know?
175
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:02,045
Our heads went forward-
There was a crash, wallop.
176
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,335
Mm, sounds like
she made quite an impression.
177
00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:06,583
- No, no, not this again.
- Oh, come on, Bruce.
178
00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:09,257
You haven't even mentioned a girl
since, what, the early '90s?
179
00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:11,926
Stand down, Samantha, please.
She is not of my world.
180
00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:14,595
Oh and what world is that,
the world of not even trying?
181
00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:18,471
Yeah, indeed, the planet
She's Beautiful, Way Out Of My League,
182
00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:20,597
and also my boss,
so knock it on the head.
183
00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:23,601
Oh, that well-known place.
Is that right next to precious comfort zone?
184
00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:26,478
A place you've never even
stepped out of ever.
185
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,731
All I'm saying is that
if you really like something,
186
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:33,110
you've got to put yourself out there.
Got to reach out and grab it.
187
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,907
The cherries are not that delicious.
188
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,497
I'm not talking
about the cherries, Bruce.
189
00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:44,374
(Car horn)
190
00:11:44,495 --> 00:11:46,293
I would not like to be those tyres.
191
00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:50,339
- Ouch.
- Ha-ha, yeah, very amusing!
192
00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:54,306
It comes fitted with an 80-mil,
three jaw self-centring chuck.
193
00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:57,551
Tool size, eight mil max.
I mean, you'd never need any more.
194
00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:02,309
- Hey, hello. This is, uh, Ju...
- Oh, sorry, everybody.
195
00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:04,979
Let me introduce you
to the brains of the operation,
196
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:08,069
our head of department,
Miss Julia Matthews.
197
00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:11,531
Uh... I'm sorry. Keep going.
I was just going to sit in.
198
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:13,650
It's nice to have you with us.
199
00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:16,745
- (Chuckles) Are you done?
- Yeah.
200
00:12:16,861 --> 00:12:19,114
- Any questions?
- What's the capacity?
201
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,912
- Ah, capacity.
- Ah.
202
00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:23,911
- It's 250 mil between the centres.
- You really know your stuff.
203
00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:27,460
Thank you. Thank you.
I... I love lathes.
204
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:39,639
Oh, while I remember,
we can also provide, um, promo videos.
205
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,306
- Isn't that right, Bruce?
- Mm.
206
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:45,477
Actually, I think we've got one of those
on this computer right here.
207
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,896
Not on that one. Let me have a look.
208
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:52,272
Yeah, I think I saw the one
for the DML vertical lathe on here
209
00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:53,944
- somewhere the other day.
- No.
210
00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:56,284
- Wait, there it is. Hold on.
- Is it?
211
00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:59,496
Yeah, this is a really good example
of the videos we can give you.
212
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:03,742
'Hello, with a Meehanite frame
annealed for maximum rigidity,
213
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:07,962
'it offers perfect jib-bed flushing
each and every time.
214
00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:10,332
'The Haas ST30 turning lathe,
215
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:14,302
'it offers precision grinding
over full vertical stroke.'
216
00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:18,845
This is what I think of when I'm trying
not to ejaculate too quickly.
217
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:35,566
OK, green fees paid,
let's play the game of golf game.
218
00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:37,407
Please help me.
219
00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:39,277
Are you still banging on
about those balls?
220
00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:41,075
Well, yes,
this one's going to fly further,
221
00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:43,368
but this one's going to give me
more control round the green.
222
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:44,991
If we've finished
with the high-brow chit-chat,
223
00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:46,789
can we move on please
to the weekly roundup?
224
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:48,536
- Yes, yes.
- OK, ladies and gentlemen.
225
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:51,084
Totals for the week,
dates with a lady?
226
00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:52,582
- Nil.
- Nil.
227
00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:55,005
- Mobile numbers acquired?
- Nil.
228
00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:57,470
I got a number. It was a zero.
229
00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:59,715
Ah, erotic encounters?
230
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,307
Nilly vanilly.
231
00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:05,019
Now, listen to this.
Last Sunday at Tom's christening,
232
00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:07,764
I grazed past horny
Aunty Jean's side boob?
233
00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:09,357
- Does it count?
- Adjudicator?
234
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,352
- It's a nil.
- I thought I'd throw it in.
235
00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:14,980
Finally, have you had any contact
with a member of the opposite sex
236
00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:16,572
where money did not exchange hands
237
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,407
and she looked at you
for more than eight seconds
238
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:21,528
and she was not your mum
or an arresting officer?
239
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:23,370
Nil.
240
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:26,620
- Bruce?
- (Chuckles)
241
00:14:26,741 --> 00:14:28,664
Mm? Well, no, obvs...
242
00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:31,083
Here endeth the weekly roundup.
243
00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:35,375
Hurry up, Mickey!
244
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:38,049
(Gary and Bruce cheer)
245
00:14:38,169 --> 00:14:40,217
(All cheer)
246
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:44,468
Ah, thank you... very much.
247
00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:47,057
- Oh.
- What is it?
248
00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:49,397
- Shit. Nothing. Please don't look.
- What's wrong?
249
00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:51,061
What are you doing?
What is it?
250
00:14:51,182 --> 00:14:53,605
- Please don't look.
- Who is it, hm?
251
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:56,525
It's just someone from work.
It's a girl I work with.
252
00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:59,399
- Oh, my God, she's nice.
- Don't look. Stop it.
253
00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:01,902
- Hey, turn around, will you?
- Oh, I would...
254
00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:04,950
- If I was physically able...
- You're not dis...
255
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,119
You're not disabled, Gary.
You're married.
256
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:11,123
Go on, then. Have a go.
257
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:14,706
Did you see her? She's beautiful.
She's like a ten. I'm a two.
258
00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:18,802
That's an eight-point swing,
like a butterfly going out with a parsnip.
259
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,841
- What?
- Yeah. Well, you know...
260
00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:24,182
All right,
I'm not saying it's going to be easy.
261
00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:26,926
You'll have to work at it.
It's like that, um,
262
00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:28,894
that machine you're on about
for British Aerospace.
263
00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:31,389
- The PL5 cylindrical grinder.
- Thank you.
264
00:15:31,514 --> 00:15:34,438
She's the cylinder. Click-click.
265
00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:37,233
(West Indian accent)
You're the grinder, mm?
266
00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:41,278
Just grind her down, uh, uh, uh.
267
00:15:41,399 --> 00:15:45,279
- You grind her down.
- I don't like the two-finger bit.
268
00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:48,077
Make her notice you, Bruce.
269
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:55,167
- Think I should say hello?
- Oh, don't... no.
270
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,507
Go up there
and say something like...
271
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:01,127
(High-pitched) "Hi."
272
00:16:01,252 --> 00:16:03,220
Oh.
273
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:09,469
(Gary chuckles)
Woo-hoo. Good luck, mate.
274
00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:11,392
- Bruce.
- Yes?
275
00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:13,355
Grind it.
276
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:16,067
- (Gary chuckles)
- Don't do that. Don't be daft.
277
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:20,317
(Door creaks and closes)
278
00:16:20,438 --> 00:16:22,440
(I Muffled music)
279
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:46,347
(I Modern salsa music)
280
00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:51,135
'Salsa.'
281
00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:53,979
Why did it have to be salsa?
282
00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:58,146
'Eat them. Eat them pig boy.
Eat your sequins.
283
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,816
'Eat them. Eat them!
284
00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:03,611
'Who do you think you are?
Barry Manilow?
285
00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:08,073
'Eat them...' (Echoes)
286
00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:18,375
Hey, Rick, have you seen my sister?
287
00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:21,500
- She's over there.
- Sam, Sam. Sam, sorry.
288
00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:23,672
- Give us a second.
- I need you.
289
00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:29,720
She is of my world.
290
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:31,842
- Who is?
- Julia, my boss.
291
00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:34,391
(Gasps) You stepped out
of your comfort zone.
292
00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:38,437
I was at the pub. She came in.
I followed her.
293
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:41,107
And she was salsa dancing.
294
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,195
- Are you shitting me?
- Oh, my God.
295
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:45,610
She was doing
the sweetest little basic
296
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:48,701
and I just wanted to rush in
and gather her into my arms
297
00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:51,947
and... and... just dance, you know?
298
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:56,247
(Sighs) I haven't...
I have not felt like that since...
299
00:17:56,367 --> 00:17:58,995
- Sequin-gate.
- Since Sequin-gate.
300
00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:03,546
(Sighs) You know that box
has been closed a long, long time.
301
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:06,590
I know.
It happened and it was bad.
302
00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:09,510
What did you say? Bad?
303
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:13,806
Sam... they ripped all the sequins
off of my shirt
304
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:16,975
and they stuffed them in my mouth,
yeah?
305
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:20,475
And then they made me eat them.
The big boys made me gobble them, yeah?
306
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,570
Just gobbling, gobbling sequins.
307
00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:26,439
- Gobbling the big BMX boy.
- Know the story, Bruce.
308
00:18:26,564 --> 00:18:29,317
- Gobbling.
- Enough's enough. Now, listen.
309
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:32,036
Maybe this is your chance
to rewrite history.
310
00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:33,496
Let it go.
311
00:18:36,741 --> 00:18:38,618
What are you thinking about?
312
00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:41,371
These are fucking hot
in large quantities.
313
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:44,165
Thank you.
314
00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:48,837
Fucking hell, what is...
What is that?
315
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:52,431
- Vodka.
- Why would you give me neat vodka?
316
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:57,888
Now, listen,
maybe this is your way in.
317
00:18:58,012 --> 00:19:00,640
You know how all girls love a man
who can dance.
318
00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:02,733
You could dance.
319
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:07,522
If you really like this girl,
salsa your way in.
320
00:19:10,024 --> 00:19:13,244
- I had fire in my heels, didn't I?
- Oh, feet of flames.
321
00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:18,203
- Could I get it back again, though?
- Easily.
322
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:21,502
How easily?
323
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,085
See how I do this shot...
324
00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:28,675
- That easily.
- That was easy.
325
00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:30,761
- Mm.
- Can I have one?
326
00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:32,926
- One?
- Mm-hm.
327
00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:37,059
Salsa.
328
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,598
Mm.
329
00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:42,064
(Bruce) Cheers.
330
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:52,776
Ah.
331
00:19:59,824 --> 00:20:01,872
Salsa.
332
00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:03,994
Salsa.
333
00:20:08,082 --> 00:20:09,925
And the winner is...
334
00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:12,837
Bruce Garrett.
335
00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:27,902
There's Ron.
336
00:20:28,018 --> 00:20:29,565
"Be my Valentine."
337
00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:32,816
Mm, big old ginger Glen and Ted.
338
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:40,786
Mirrors, I need me some mirrors.
339
00:20:47,288 --> 00:20:48,665
Ooh. (Chuckles)
340
00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:50,462
Heavy.
341
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,130
Oh.
342
00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:56,055
(Grunts)
343
00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:06,436
Whoa.
344
00:21:06,557 --> 00:21:08,559
(Snoring lightly)
345
00:21:10,144 --> 00:21:11,896
(Alarm clock rings)
346
00:21:12,021 --> 00:21:14,319
Ooh!
347
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,488
Ah.
348
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:18,611
(Sighs)
349
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:21,781
Uh...
350
00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:27,420
(Mumbles)
351
00:21:28,704 --> 00:21:30,672
(Chuckles)
352
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,427
(G roans)
353
00:21:43,427 --> 00:21:44,849
(Pants)
354
00:21:56,607 --> 00:21:58,575
(Grunts)
355
00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:12,252
Mm.
356
00:22:42,945 --> 00:22:45,039
(Doors creak)
357
00:22:48,951 --> 00:22:50,419
(I Distant music playing)
358
00:22:57,585 --> 00:22:59,713
(Water running)
359
00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:04,179
(Glasses clinking)
360
00:23:07,803 --> 00:23:10,977
Can I have a Diet Coke
and a packet of Scampi Fries, please?
361
00:23:11,098 --> 00:23:13,817
Well, you could if I wasn't closing.
362
00:23:14,810 --> 00:23:16,608
All right, Ron?
363
00:23:20,941 --> 00:23:22,989
Garrett.
364
00:23:23,110 --> 00:23:25,738
Well, what the hell happened to you?
You look like shit.
365
00:23:25,863 --> 00:23:27,410
Charming. Thanks very much.
366
00:23:27,531 --> 00:23:30,876
You got a customer complaints
department here at, er, El Corazén?
367
00:23:30,993 --> 00:23:32,995
Oh, hang on,
I'll get a form for you.
368
00:23:35,831 --> 00:23:37,879
There it is.
369
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,344
How did you find me?
370
00:23:40,461 --> 00:23:41,929
Internet.
371
00:23:42,046 --> 00:23:43,923
- Fucking internet.
- Internet.
372
00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:48,679
Oh, yeah, how have you been?
Have you been all right? You good?
373
00:23:50,137 --> 00:23:52,686
It looks nice in here.
374
00:23:53,349 --> 00:23:56,102
OK, I think that is us
all caught up, then.
375
00:23:57,853 --> 00:24:03,030
- What do you want from me, Garrett?
- Nothing. Just passing.
376
00:24:03,150 --> 00:24:05,323
Wondered if you were still teaching.
377
00:24:06,946 --> 00:24:12,953
Oh, right, OK, just 'cause
I'm looking for a lesson.
378
00:24:13,077 --> 00:24:14,829
- Are you taking the piss?
- No.
379
00:24:14,954 --> 00:24:18,709
No, I'm not. I just want a lesson,
blow away the cobwebs.
380
00:24:18,832 --> 00:24:21,551
- What do you reckon?
- I reckon salsa's for pussies.
381
00:24:21,669 --> 00:24:23,467
- Isn't that what you said?
- Did I?
382
00:24:23,587 --> 00:24:25,214
Oh, yeah, you did.
383
00:24:25,339 --> 00:24:29,970
I don't really remember that,
'cause I was just a kid.
384
00:24:30,094 --> 00:24:33,268
- And what are you now?
- (Nervously) I'm a man.
385
00:24:33,389 --> 00:24:35,266
Oh, you think so, do you?
386
00:24:35,391 --> 00:24:39,521
Pretty certain. (Sighs)
Hot in here, isn't it?
387
00:24:41,313 --> 00:24:44,817
We'll see. Tomorrow night,
7:00pm sharp.
388
00:24:44,942 --> 00:24:47,821
Five quid on the door and I want
to see you in 1% inch heels.
389
00:24:47,945 --> 00:24:50,824
Brilliant. Great, all right.
Thank you, Ron.
390
00:24:51,949 --> 00:24:54,498
- Mr Parfitt.
- Thank you, Mr Parfitt.
391
00:24:54,994 --> 00:24:56,462
Hey, where are we
on the Scampi Fries?
392
00:24:56,578 --> 00:24:58,501
- Piss off.
- I'll see you tomorrow.
393
00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:04,128
(Breathes deeply)
394
00:25:04,962 --> 00:25:06,930
Come here, my babies.
395
00:25:07,047 --> 00:25:09,596
Come to Daddy.
396
00:25:09,717 --> 00:25:11,811
Oh, there you are.
397
00:25:17,224 --> 00:25:19,226
(Mobile phone rings)
398
00:25:28,318 --> 00:25:30,286
- Thank you.
- One, thank you.
399
00:25:44,293 --> 00:25:48,673
(Iranian accent)
Rubber sole. Old school.
400
00:25:49,923 --> 00:25:52,517
A shit load of kudos to you,
my friend.
401
00:25:52,634 --> 00:25:55,763
Personally, as a person,
I love the suede sole.
402
00:25:56,597 --> 00:25:59,817
I'm a suede head. People, they say,
"No, you have to be rubber sole."
403
00:25:59,933 --> 00:26:03,153
I'm like, "No, I love the suede.
I love the suede. I love the suede."
404
00:26:03,270 --> 00:26:06,900
Don't you love the suede?
I tell you what. Take a look at this.
405
00:26:07,024 --> 00:26:09,026
If you see here,
if you see where my sole is...
406
00:26:09,151 --> 00:26:11,324
Come on, gather around.
Come on.
407
00:26:11,445 --> 00:26:13,743
I see what kind of a sole you are,
asshole.
408
00:26:13,864 --> 00:26:16,117
- Hey, don't...
- How are you today, guys?
409
00:26:16,241 --> 00:26:18,664
Spread out a little bit.
Make sure you can see me.
410
00:26:18,786 --> 00:26:20,629
Everybody OK, yeah?
411
00:26:20,746 --> 00:26:22,623
Oh, we've got a new student
with us tonight.
412
00:26:22,748 --> 00:26:24,500
Welcome to El Corazén.
What's your name?
413
00:26:25,501 --> 00:26:29,096
It's fine. Don't worry about names.
I'm just passing through so...
414
00:26:29,213 --> 00:26:30,965
- Sure, no problem.
- Thank you.
415
00:26:31,090 --> 00:26:33,013
Let's pick up
where we left off yesterday, OK?
416
00:26:33,133 --> 00:26:34,510
Basic step, everyone. Ready?
417
00:26:34,635 --> 00:26:37,980
And one, two, three,
five, six, seven and...
418
00:26:38,097 --> 00:26:40,225
" Sorry
~ Yes?
419
00:26:40,349 --> 00:26:42,317
I think I'm in the wrong class.
420
00:26:42,434 --> 00:26:44,562
- Right.
- Where's Mr Parfitt?
421
00:26:44,686 --> 00:26:47,485
- He's in his office, OK?
- OK.
422
00:26:47,606 --> 00:26:49,734
All right, let's carry on.
Ready and...
423
00:26:49,858 --> 00:26:53,203
What's he, um... Sorry.
What's he doing in there?
424
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:55,948
- I don't know.
- Fine, all right.
425
00:26:56,073 --> 00:26:57,541
- I'm sorry. Crack on.
- That's all right.
426
00:26:57,658 --> 00:26:59,126
- We will, thank you.
- Do your basics.
427
00:26:59,243 --> 00:27:01,166
Thank you very much.
Here we go.
428
00:27:01,286 --> 00:27:03,334
Ready and one, two, three.
429
00:27:03,455 --> 00:27:05,378
(Knocking)
430
00:27:06,125 --> 00:27:07,877
(Bruce) Hello?
431
00:27:11,964 --> 00:27:15,810
- Hey. Are you not teaching me?
- I said I ran a class.
432
00:27:15,926 --> 00:27:19,396
- Didn't say I taught one.
- Ron, please.
433
00:27:19,513 --> 00:27:23,188
It's baby stuff out there.
Just one quick freshener.
434
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:28,193
Oh, I see.
435
00:27:28,313 --> 00:27:29,690
OK.
436
00:27:29,815 --> 00:27:31,783
(Chuckles)
437
00:27:31,900 --> 00:27:34,870
I think we've done...
One private lesson.
438
00:27:36,196 --> 00:27:39,826
How much do you want?
40 for an hour?
439
00:27:40,325 --> 00:27:41,918
Oh, that's what you think.
440
00:27:42,035 --> 00:27:43,332
You think I sit back here
441
00:27:43,453 --> 00:27:45,421
waiting for someone to come in
and open their wallet?
442
00:27:45,539 --> 00:27:47,337
Yeah, what are you waiting for?
443
00:27:51,461 --> 00:27:53,338
Alicia.
444
00:27:55,174 --> 00:27:59,145
- (Softly) Hello.
- This is Bruce Garrett.
445
00:27:59,261 --> 00:28:01,059
- Take him out for a quick spin.
- No.
446
00:28:01,180 --> 00:28:02,306
Road test him.
447
00:28:02,431 --> 00:28:04,433
Alicia teaches our advanced class,
448
00:28:04,558 --> 00:28:08,279
2007 world champion,
dances cabaret style.
449
00:28:08,395 --> 00:28:10,068
Oh, yes, yes.
450
00:28:10,189 --> 00:28:13,159
You do know cabaret style, yeah?
451
00:28:13,775 --> 00:28:18,201
Sorry, do I... You ask if I know
cabaret style? (Chuckles)
452
00:28:18,322 --> 00:28:21,326
(Alicia speaking in Spanish)
453
00:28:29,875 --> 00:28:31,752
Do you want to get warm?
454
00:28:31,877 --> 00:28:34,346
You should, although
you look quite warm as it is.
455
00:28:34,463 --> 00:28:36,557
(I Dramatic salsa music plays)
456
00:28:40,844 --> 00:28:42,846
I hear about you.
457
00:28:44,806 --> 00:28:48,276
- Ah.
- The boy with fire in his heels.
458
00:28:48,393 --> 00:28:50,236
Well, that's a long time ago.
459
00:28:50,854 --> 00:28:52,106
Aw.
460
00:28:52,231 --> 00:28:54,279
- You're in my yard now.
- Mm?
461
00:28:56,735 --> 00:28:58,487
Oh, crikey.
462
00:28:58,612 --> 00:28:59,909
Shh-ah.
463
00:29:02,115 --> 00:29:04,117
Ah, cha.
464
00:29:05,410 --> 00:29:08,129
- Ya.
- Rumba!
465
00:29:21,510 --> 00:29:23,478
(I Music tempo quickens)
466
00:29:24,221 --> 00:29:25,438
Ow!
467
00:29:25,555 --> 00:29:27,228
Ow!
468
00:29:30,519 --> 00:29:32,692
Ow!
469
00:29:47,286 --> 00:29:49,129
Please.
470
00:29:58,964 --> 00:30:00,511
Stop it.
471
00:30:01,675 --> 00:30:03,052
(All) Ooh.
472
00:30:03,176 --> 00:30:05,178
Welcome back. (Chuckles)
473
00:30:05,304 --> 00:30:07,102
(G roans)
474
00:30:08,223 --> 00:30:09,816
(G roans)
475
00:30:10,976 --> 00:30:12,728
That's lesson one, son.
476
00:30:13,687 --> 00:30:15,689
(G roans)
477
00:30:22,612 --> 00:30:24,285
Thank you.
478
00:30:35,334 --> 00:30:37,257
All right, dump truck.
479
00:30:37,377 --> 00:30:38,970
Have you seen
what she's wearing today?
480
00:30:39,087 --> 00:30:42,057
- Who?
- The big boss, yeah.
481
00:30:42,174 --> 00:30:44,643
She's got her green number on.
Isn't that nice?
482
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:46,979
She's trying to tell me something,
you know what I mean?
483
00:30:47,095 --> 00:30:50,190
She's trying to tell me something.
(Laughs)
484
00:30:50,307 --> 00:30:53,060
I'm going to leave a stink on her
that she will never get off.
485
00:30:53,185 --> 00:30:56,155
I'm going to be on her
like bonfire smell, you know I mean?
486
00:30:56,271 --> 00:30:59,525
She's going to be in the shower
changing her clothes.
487
00:30:59,649 --> 00:31:04,246
She's going to be like,
"OMG, I can still smell him."
488
00:31:04,363 --> 00:31:07,412
That's right, Julia. Get used to it.
I'm in your pores.
489
00:31:08,533 --> 00:31:11,252
You're disgusting.
(Laughs)
490
00:31:14,539 --> 00:31:16,667
I think it's so cute
when you've got a little crush.
491
00:31:16,792 --> 00:31:20,217
You get a little crush
and you get so disgusted. Listen.
492
00:31:20,337 --> 00:31:25,218
Women like that use guys like you
to get advice about men like me.
493
00:31:27,719 --> 00:31:29,642
It's empty-
494
00:31:42,275 --> 00:31:44,903
(I Upbeat salsa plays)
495
00:31:49,324 --> 00:31:51,998
(I Music distorts and stops)
496
00:31:54,413 --> 00:31:56,586
Are you kidding me?
497
00:31:56,706 --> 00:31:58,299
Argh!
498
00:31:58,417 --> 00:32:00,385
Ah! Oh...
499
00:32:00,502 --> 00:32:02,004
Oh, God.
500
00:32:02,129 --> 00:32:04,723
(Groans)
Oh, my God. Oh, God.
501
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:07,093
- Oh, my God, are you OK?
- Yeah.
502
00:32:07,217 --> 00:32:10,562
- Somebody call an ambulance!
- Really, no, I'm fine.
503
00:32:10,679 --> 00:32:13,478
Don't move. Don't move. Don't move.
Don't move. Don't move.
504
00:32:16,393 --> 00:32:19,192
In for two, out for two. Slow down.
505
00:32:19,312 --> 00:32:22,486
- Was there a pastry in this bag?
- Yeah, I had an iced bun.
506
00:32:24,234 --> 00:32:25,486
I was driving...
507
00:32:25,610 --> 00:32:28,409
and then, all of a sudden, my tape deck
wasn't working and then bang!
508
00:32:28,530 --> 00:32:30,749
All of a sudden you were on the hood
of my car. I thought I'd killed you.
509
00:32:30,866 --> 00:32:32,743
Listen, don't worry. I'm fine.
510
00:32:32,868 --> 00:32:34,870
OK. OK, you're OK.
511
00:32:34,995 --> 00:32:36,713
- Yeah. We're OK.
- I'm OK.
512
00:32:36,830 --> 00:32:38,673
You're alive!
513
00:32:38,790 --> 00:32:40,918
(Sighs)
I mean, I hit you with my car,
514
00:32:41,042 --> 00:32:43,465
the least I could do
is give you a ride home.
515
00:32:43,587 --> 00:32:47,467
Don't worry about it.
It's only a little car, isn't it?
516
00:32:47,591 --> 00:32:49,264
Oh, my God. Are you going to sue me?
517
00:32:49,384 --> 00:32:53,014
No! No, gosh, no. Good Lord,
I'd never sue. (Chuckles)
518
00:32:53,138 --> 00:32:55,140
You know we're not...
As a society,
519
00:32:55,265 --> 00:32:57,609
we're not really big suers,
you know?
520
00:32:57,726 --> 00:33:00,149
We don't... We don't do it.
521
00:33:00,270 --> 00:33:02,364
God, you're rambling.
Are you OK?
522
00:33:02,481 --> 00:33:04,074
- Yeah.
- Are you sure?
523
00:33:04,191 --> 00:33:06,034
- No, I'm fine.
- OK, what's my name?
524
00:33:06,151 --> 00:33:08,199
- Do you remember my name?
- Julio.
525
00:33:14,117 --> 00:33:17,496
Oh, there's the culprit.
526
00:33:17,621 --> 00:33:19,294
- Oh.
- The cassette of death.
527
00:33:19,414 --> 00:33:22,293
La casete de muerte.
528
00:33:22,417 --> 00:33:26,263
Ah, Tito Puente,
Willie Colén, Ray Barretto.
529
00:33:26,379 --> 00:33:30,885
Oh, yes, let's just put that
somewhere else far, far away.
530
00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:32,852
It's uh...
531
00:33:33,637 --> 00:33:37,687
I salsa, OK? I'm into salsa.
532
00:33:37,807 --> 00:33:40,276
In fact, I was on my way
to salsa class,
533
00:33:40,393 --> 00:33:43,988
which is why
I was willing to kill a man to get there,
534
00:33:44,105 --> 00:33:46,528
so that's how much I like salsa.
535
00:33:46,650 --> 00:33:48,448
(Sighs)
536
00:33:53,406 --> 00:33:55,249
All right,
so you've entered total shock.
537
00:33:55,367 --> 00:33:57,961
Are you in a state of shock now?
538
00:33:59,162 --> 00:34:00,914
I... I salsa.
539
00:34:02,290 --> 00:34:04,884
Ah. (Chuckles)
540
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:13,643
Right, sure you do.
541
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:15,808
Wow, now I'm really worried
about you. Are you OK?
542
00:34:18,223 --> 00:34:20,225
Did Helen tell you
about the, uh, bowling?
543
00:34:20,350 --> 00:34:22,978
'Cause we're going to do
this whole bowling-bonding thing
544
00:34:23,103 --> 00:34:25,071
if you want to come.
545
00:34:25,188 --> 00:34:29,034
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, definitely. Definitely.
546
00:34:29,150 --> 00:34:32,575
I like bowling.
I was... I was born to bowl, really.
547
00:34:32,696 --> 00:34:36,701
Born to bowl, wow.
That's a big statement.
548
00:34:41,830 --> 00:34:44,458
(I Upbeat salsa music)
549
00:34:54,175 --> 00:34:56,394
One more time and...
550
00:34:56,511 --> 00:34:59,105
One, two, three,
five, six, seven.
551
00:34:59,222 --> 00:35:02,021
Let's try that one more time.
Ready and one...
552
00:35:02,142 --> 00:35:05,692
Oh, you, whatever your name is.
553
00:35:05,812 --> 00:35:11,034
My name is Bruce Garrett
and I'm here to learn salsa.
554
00:35:11,151 --> 00:35:14,655
Well, very nice to meet you, Bruce.
We're walking through some basics.
555
00:35:14,779 --> 00:35:19,751
Ready and one, two, three,
to the side, six, seven.
556
00:35:19,868 --> 00:35:23,168
Forward and turn.
Back and shimmy.
557
00:35:23,830 --> 00:35:28,176
One more time and...
one, two, three, five, six, seven.
558
00:35:28,293 --> 00:35:31,342
Forward and turn, back and shimmy.
559
00:35:31,463 --> 00:35:33,682
Nice one, Bruce.
560
00:35:33,798 --> 00:35:37,473
Let's try that again.
Ready and five, six, seven, go!
561
00:35:37,594 --> 00:35:40,222
Turn! Shimmy!
562
00:35:40,930 --> 00:35:41,977
One more time.
563
00:35:49,481 --> 00:35:52,075
Yeah, thank you.
564
00:35:52,192 --> 00:35:55,662
Well done, everyone.
Muy bien.
565
00:35:55,779 --> 00:35:58,578
See you next week.
Thank you very much, guys. Thank you.
566
00:35:58,698 --> 00:36:00,666
Woo.
567
00:36:00,784 --> 00:36:02,878
Ah.
568
00:36:04,704 --> 00:36:06,706
- I love this.
- Hey.
569
00:36:07,707 --> 00:36:09,835
I just wanted to say sorry
for being rude to you.
570
00:36:09,959 --> 00:36:13,088
Yes, you were.
You were very rude to me.
571
00:36:13,213 --> 00:36:15,841
You were kind of a pig to me,
actually, a rude pig.
572
00:36:17,759 --> 00:36:21,730
I'm kidding with you. God!
My name is Bejan, nice to meet you.
573
00:36:21,846 --> 00:36:23,974
- I'm Bruce.
- Bruce, hi.
574
00:36:24,099 --> 00:36:26,101
Bejan is actually my middle name.
575
00:36:26,226 --> 00:36:28,320
My full name is
Ali Reza Bejan Ahmadzadeh.
576
00:36:28,436 --> 00:36:30,438
Wow, a bit of a mouthful, innit?
577
00:36:30,563 --> 00:36:33,237
Yes. Bejan means hero.
578
00:36:33,358 --> 00:36:35,326
- Ah, that's nice.
- What does Bruce mean?
579
00:36:36,111 --> 00:36:41,834
Uh, Bruce, I think it comes from
the old Saxon meaning bush or hedge.
580
00:36:41,950 --> 00:36:43,827
Mm.
581
00:36:44,703 --> 00:36:46,296
We're all hitting the club
if you want to...
582
00:36:46,413 --> 00:36:49,587
- Oh, right.
- Boteco. It's hot shit.
583
00:36:50,333 --> 00:36:55,590
The dance floor, fully programmable
LED ester and black glass.
584
00:36:55,714 --> 00:36:57,887
- Wow. Semi-sprung?
- Yes, please.
585
00:36:58,007 --> 00:37:01,511
Mm, it would be like dancing
on a glass pillow.
586
00:37:02,721 --> 00:37:05,600
- You want to come? Take my number.
- I don't know.
587
00:37:05,724 --> 00:37:07,351
- You don't want to take my number?
- Not your number.
588
00:37:07,475 --> 00:37:09,148
You don't have to take my number
if you don't want it.
589
00:37:09,269 --> 00:37:11,522
I can walk in the other direction.
Plenty of other people to speak to.
590
00:37:11,646 --> 00:37:13,114
I'm sure one of them
want my number.
591
00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:15,279
- I didn't mean that.
- I'm fucking with you again!
592
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:18,574
Get a sense of humour,
for God's sake! Wait there.
593
00:37:21,322 --> 00:37:23,825
I'm going to give you
my direct number, OK?
594
00:37:23,950 --> 00:37:29,957
You call me on this
any time between 5:30 and quarter to six.
595
00:37:30,081 --> 00:37:32,709
That's a.m.
I'm a morning person.
596
00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:35,883
Thank you.
597
00:37:37,255 --> 00:37:40,259
- I tracked down Ron Parfitt.
- Oh, my God. What's he like?
598
00:37:40,383 --> 00:37:43,557
Exactly the same.
Just a horrible, grumpy, old bastard.
599
00:37:43,678 --> 00:37:46,272
(Laughs) Holy shit, Bruce.
This is huge.
600
00:37:49,017 --> 00:37:50,394
Is this for her?
601
00:37:50,518 --> 00:37:53,818
(Mimics her) "Is this for her?"
Yes, it's for her.
602
00:37:53,938 --> 00:37:57,192
I'm thinking about asking her
to maybe dance with me.
603
00:37:57,776 --> 00:37:59,744
That sounds good,
so what happens next?
604
00:37:59,861 --> 00:38:01,863
- I'm just going go ask her.
- Wrong.
605
00:38:01,988 --> 00:38:04,332
No, no, no. You don't go straight in
with a big romantic gesture
606
00:38:04,449 --> 00:38:05,996
until you've done the groundwork.
607
00:38:06,117 --> 00:38:08,415
She's like a blank wall, Bruce.
608
00:38:08,536 --> 00:38:09,913
Firstly,
you have to apply the primer,
609
00:38:10,038 --> 00:38:11,711
then the undercoat
and then you go in with the emulsion.
610
00:38:11,831 --> 00:38:14,755
What kind of wall?
It might not need primer.
611
00:38:14,876 --> 00:38:16,219
I'm serious, Bruce.
612
00:38:16,336 --> 00:38:19,215
You can't go and ask her out
until you've done the undercoat.
613
00:38:30,308 --> 00:38:32,561
(I Upbeat salsa plays)
614
00:39:13,601 --> 00:39:16,901
Fantastic, that's just tremendous.
Hey, Bruce.
615
00:39:17,021 --> 00:39:19,649
- Hey.
- Oh, hey, man.
616
00:39:19,774 --> 00:39:21,651
You look nice, but you know what?
617
00:39:21,776 --> 00:39:24,905
I'm already, er,
sorted with a phone plan.
618
00:39:25,029 --> 00:39:26,872
(Both laugh sarcastically)
619
00:39:26,990 --> 00:39:29,960
Bruce, you need your shoes otherwise
you're gonna miss out on this frame.
620
00:39:30,785 --> 00:39:33,004
- Good luck.
- (Helen) All right, here we go.
621
00:39:33,121 --> 00:39:34,498
(Drew clears throat)
Phone shop.
622
00:39:35,957 --> 00:39:37,584
- Oh.
- Oh.
623
00:39:37,709 --> 00:39:39,962
Here comes the dirty thunder.
624
00:39:42,046 --> 00:39:44,424
Oh, the Gaelic gale.
625
00:39:44,549 --> 00:39:47,894
- Huh? I hit seven, I think.
- (Helen) Move over.
626
00:39:50,638 --> 00:39:52,481
(Helen) Oh.
627
00:39:52,599 --> 00:39:54,021
- Never mind.
- Pump it up.
628
00:39:54,142 --> 00:39:56,645
Amazing. Ah.
629
00:39:56,769 --> 00:40:00,148
Can I just give you
a little bit of constructive feedback?
630
00:40:00,273 --> 00:40:03,197
- Yeah, please do.
- Oh, yeah.
631
00:40:03,318 --> 00:40:06,948
Well, uh,
I've noticed a little flaw in your game.
632
00:40:07,071 --> 00:40:08,869
OK, listen,
I think I know what you're going to say.
633
00:40:08,990 --> 00:40:10,958
This probably is about me
634
00:40:11,075 --> 00:40:14,875
continually rolling the balls
into the recess gutters, isn't it?
635
00:40:14,996 --> 00:40:17,840
- Yes, it is.
- Yeah. I think...
636
00:40:17,957 --> 00:40:20,301
I think it's the only weakness
in my game, you know?
637
00:40:20,418 --> 00:40:24,093
It is. It is the only weakness,
but, uh, it's a pretty major one.
638
00:40:24,213 --> 00:40:26,466
- Yeah, it's a biggy.
- So let's deal with it.
639
00:40:26,591 --> 00:40:29,219
Here, I'll show you. Come on.
640
00:40:29,344 --> 00:40:32,223
Oh! Sumba, bunga, wunga!
641
00:40:32,931 --> 00:40:34,604
Did you see that?
642
00:40:35,850 --> 00:40:37,693
So you put your fingers
in the holes.
643
00:40:38,686 --> 00:40:41,610
No. No, no, no, no.
No innuendo, OK?
644
00:40:41,731 --> 00:40:44,826
The first rule of bowling is
there's holes and there's balls
645
00:40:44,943 --> 00:40:46,820
and we're all adults.
We just have to get over it.
646
00:40:46,945 --> 00:40:49,323
- Let's bowl.
- Yup. (Clears throat)
647
00:40:49,447 --> 00:40:51,165
Hold your ball like a baby.
648
00:40:51,282 --> 00:40:53,376
- Throw it like a rocket.
- Yup.
649
00:40:53,493 --> 00:40:56,622
Hold it like a baby.
Throw it like a rocket, yeah?
650
00:40:56,746 --> 00:40:58,623
Yeah.
651
00:40:59,832 --> 00:41:03,257
Hold it like a baby
and then I throw it like a rocket.
652
00:41:03,378 --> 00:41:06,848
I hold it like a baby
and then I throw it like a rocket.
653
00:41:06,965 --> 00:41:09,889
Hold it like a baby
and then I throw it like a rocket.
654
00:41:11,970 --> 00:41:14,143
Sorry. Sorry.
655
00:41:14,263 --> 00:41:15,936
I'm calling social services.
656
00:41:16,057 --> 00:41:17,934
You're calling social services?
657
00:41:18,059 --> 00:41:20,562
Why? Has he been
within 100 metres of a school?
658
00:41:22,981 --> 00:41:25,404
(Laughs nervously)
659
00:41:25,525 --> 00:41:27,573
- You're up, Jules.
- Oh.
660
00:41:27,694 --> 00:41:29,913
Go on, Julio, if that's your name.
661
00:41:30,029 --> 00:41:33,078
Listen, you just focus
on your baby rocket big shot.
662
00:41:33,199 --> 00:41:34,917
(Drew) Yeah.
663
00:41:35,034 --> 00:41:38,208
(Julia) All right. Let's do this.
664
00:41:38,329 --> 00:41:40,127
Come on, baby ball.
665
00:41:40,248 --> 00:41:43,377
- I just need one strike.
- (Drew) Oh, wow.
666
00:41:43,501 --> 00:41:46,050
Have you seen the pants
on that guy over there?
667
00:41:46,170 --> 00:41:47,888
(indistinct chattering)
668
00:41:49,173 --> 00:41:50,800
- Go on.
- Here we go.
669
00:41:53,011 --> 00:41:55,230
Did you end up keeping the shoes
or you gave them back or...?
670
00:41:55,346 --> 00:41:59,192
- No, I gave them back.
- I thought they really suited you.
671
00:41:59,308 --> 00:42:01,185
Ah, do you mind
if I just put my seat back?
672
00:42:01,310 --> 00:42:03,904
- Oh, there's not much room here.
- It's just I've got such long legs.
673
00:42:04,022 --> 00:42:05,820
Oh! That's better.
674
00:42:06,524 --> 00:42:11,155
Bruce, we'll drop you off first.
All that exercise, you must be exhausted.
675
00:42:18,661 --> 00:42:20,755
- Bye, Bruce.
- See you later, Brucie.
676
00:42:20,872 --> 00:42:24,092
Loving the pad.
Let's get this party started.
677
00:42:48,483 --> 00:42:50,611
(Bejan) Bruce!
678
00:42:50,735 --> 00:42:52,863
Bruce!
679
00:42:52,987 --> 00:42:55,331
- Bruce!
- Hey, shut up.
680
00:42:55,448 --> 00:42:58,122
My God, I thought it was number 4
and then I thought it's number 14
681
00:42:58,242 --> 00:43:00,085
and then I thought it was number 40
and then I went to 14
682
00:43:00,203 --> 00:43:01,796
and then I went to 40,
but there isn't a 40.
683
00:43:01,913 --> 00:43:04,382
- How are you doing?
- I'm good. Hello.
684
00:43:04,499 --> 00:43:07,673
- One more for me.
- You want a drink?
685
00:43:07,794 --> 00:43:09,296
- Do you have any Fanta?
- I do not.
686
00:43:09,420 --> 00:43:12,970
That's a shame, because I do!
687
00:43:13,091 --> 00:43:15,844
- (Bejan giggles)
- Ooh. Wow. I'll get glasses.
688
00:43:15,968 --> 00:43:19,142
No, no, no, it's not a wedding.
You drink from the bottle.
689
00:43:19,263 --> 00:43:21,391
- Erm... thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
690
00:43:21,516 --> 00:43:24,065
- Sa/amati.
- Ah, sa/amat/I.
691
00:43:25,478 --> 00:43:28,106
- Mm.
- Mm. Urgh, it's flat.
692
00:43:28,231 --> 00:43:31,075
It's not flat. It's still.
It's still Fanta.
693
00:43:31,192 --> 00:43:33,194
- They don't do still Fanta.
- They don't do still Fanta.
694
00:43:33,319 --> 00:43:35,868
I have to make my own. You just open
the bottle. Put it on the balcony.
695
00:43:35,988 --> 00:43:38,286
Two days later,
boom, shake the room, yes please.
696
00:43:38,407 --> 00:43:40,330
- Ha.
- Mm.
697
00:43:40,451 --> 00:43:43,204
Are you ready?
Do you want to go? Let's go.
698
00:43:43,329 --> 00:43:45,331
You're going like this?
699
00:43:47,208 --> 00:43:50,087
Yeah. What's the matter with this?
700
00:43:50,211 --> 00:43:51,838
Well...
701
00:43:53,506 --> 00:43:54,849
"everything
702
00:43:54,966 --> 00:43:57,185
What are these?
703
00:43:57,301 --> 00:43:59,395
- Shirts.
- Polyester mix?
704
00:43:59,512 --> 00:44:03,107
I'm thinking 50% polyester,
20% Crimplene, 5% wool, yes?
705
00:44:03,224 --> 00:44:05,147
- Sure.
- It's bullshit.
706
00:44:06,060 --> 00:44:10,031
Silk, smart, casual, breathable.
707
00:44:10,148 --> 00:44:11,400
Yes, please.
708
00:44:12,316 --> 00:44:15,195
Cotton, soaks up sweat
like a sponge.
709
00:44:15,319 --> 00:44:16,445
Vest up, my friend.
710
00:44:17,488 --> 00:44:20,992
Linen, flyweight for quicker movements,
show off those turns.
711
00:44:22,368 --> 00:44:25,463
Synthetic,
less friction means fewer blisters.
712
00:44:25,580 --> 00:44:27,799
Unless you like blister.
Do you like blister? Who likes blister?
713
00:44:27,915 --> 00:44:29,792
- Pilgrims.
- Exactly.
714
00:44:29,917 --> 00:44:32,261
- (Chuckles)
- (Doorbell)
715
00:44:32,378 --> 00:44:34,426
Who's that?
Can you hold that a second?
716
00:44:35,673 --> 00:44:37,801
What's going on?
Not taking my calls?
717
00:44:37,925 --> 00:44:43,147
- Just busy. I've been busy at work.
- Three words. The Velvet Pussycat.
718
00:44:43,264 --> 00:44:45,608
- What, now?
- Yeah, come on. Get changed.
719
00:44:45,725 --> 00:44:48,228
- It's a Tuesday night.
- Yeah, exactly.
720
00:44:49,770 --> 00:44:51,989
Bruce, do you have any idea
how hard I've worked
721
00:44:52,106 --> 00:44:54,154
- to get Amanda to take up a hobby.
- Mm.
722
00:44:54,275 --> 00:44:57,575
I've been masterminding
Project Pilates for six months.
723
00:44:57,695 --> 00:44:59,572
Why do you think that is?
724
00:44:59,697 --> 00:45:03,793
Two whole hours of freedom,
8:30 to 10:30, once a week.
725
00:45:03,910 --> 00:45:06,663
What do you think I'm going to do
with that time, sit indoors wanking?
726
00:45:06,787 --> 00:45:08,130
I can do that when she's at home.
727
00:45:08,831 --> 00:45:11,004
I'm just... I'm bushed, you know?
728
00:45:11,125 --> 00:45:13,093
I'm just going to have a bath
and hit the hay.
729
00:45:13,211 --> 00:45:14,212
A bath?
730
00:45:15,087 --> 00:45:18,182
Oh, that's nice.
Will it have nice little bubbles in it?
731
00:45:18,299 --> 00:45:21,052
- (Bejan) Who are you talking to?
- Eh? Who's this?
732
00:45:21,177 --> 00:45:24,021
Hi. My name is Bejan.
Pleased to meet you.
733
00:45:24,138 --> 00:45:27,768
- (Bruce) It's a mate from work.
- Mate? Oh, my God. I'm honoured.
734
00:45:27,892 --> 00:45:30,315
- All right.
- It's a big, big moment for me.
735
00:45:30,436 --> 00:45:33,155
- (Laughs)
- Well, I'll leave you to your bath.
736
00:45:33,272 --> 00:45:35,320
We weren't having a group.
We weren't going to do group.
737
00:45:35,441 --> 00:45:38,786
He was going to go and I was going
to have a bath. Please don't. Don't.
738
00:45:38,903 --> 00:45:41,952
Don't worry. It's fine.
I'll er... I'll go by myself.
739
00:45:43,199 --> 00:45:45,543
- I'll give you a call later, yeah?
- Yeah.
740
00:45:45,660 --> 00:45:47,503
Bye, Gary!
741
00:45:47,620 --> 00:45:49,213
He's cute.
742
00:45:50,373 --> 00:45:53,468
Two more things,
your hairy chest and a tan.
743
00:45:53,584 --> 00:45:56,508
- No, no, no.
- Yes, yes, yes, yes.
744
00:45:56,629 --> 00:45:58,757
- No, no.
- Bruce, what year is this?
745
00:45:59,382 --> 00:46:02,682
Did we just go back in time?
Did we step out of the De Lorean?
746
00:46:02,802 --> 00:46:05,271
Are we in 1985?
Is this Hill Valley?
747
00:46:07,056 --> 00:46:08,729
Think McFly! Think!
748
00:46:08,849 --> 00:46:11,147
- Ow.
- Sorry, I just wanted to...
749
00:46:11,269 --> 00:46:13,397
So take this...
750
00:46:13,521 --> 00:46:15,023
- and take this.
- Fine.
751
00:46:15,690 --> 00:46:17,317
You've got ten minutes.
752
00:46:17,441 --> 00:46:18,909
Run for it, Marty!
753
00:46:26,284 --> 00:46:28,252
Ah. Oh.
754
00:46:34,375 --> 00:46:36,548
Wow. It's so deep.
755
00:46:40,923 --> 00:46:42,345
So natural.
756
00:46:45,678 --> 00:46:47,351
(Bruce clears his throat)
757
00:46:49,932 --> 00:46:51,559
How do you feel?
758
00:46:53,519 --> 00:46:54,566
Thank you.
759
00:46:55,438 --> 00:47:01,036
And on the 7th day, the Almighty
turned to his followers and said...
760
00:47:02,278 --> 00:47:03,996
(Speaks Farsi)
761
00:47:05,489 --> 00:47:08,333
- What does that mean?
- Let's salsa.
762
00:47:08,993 --> 00:47:10,666
(I Modern Latin dance music)
763
00:47:48,783 --> 00:47:52,287
- Oh. He's grinding her batty.
- Yeah, he is.
764
00:47:54,288 --> 00:47:56,006
Yeah!
765
00:47:58,542 --> 00:48:00,544
(Cheering)
766
00:48:16,227 --> 00:48:20,073
Oh, look. Look.
767
00:48:20,189 --> 00:48:21,657
(I Modern slow salsa)
768
00:48:21,774 --> 00:48:24,948
- That looks fun.
- Oh my God. They make me feel sick.
769
00:48:26,112 --> 00:48:27,830
Salsa aerobics?
770
00:48:27,947 --> 00:48:30,041
It's not a salsa. It is a cancer.
771
00:48:30,157 --> 00:48:32,706
Go back to the leisure centre,
you bitches!
772
00:48:33,953 --> 00:48:36,047
- If I had a grenade right now...
- Shut up.
773
00:48:36,163 --> 00:48:37,631
- I was just saying...
- A Middle Eastern man
774
00:48:37,748 --> 00:48:39,375
talking about a grenade
in a packed night club.
775
00:48:39,500 --> 00:48:42,970
- You'll start a bloody stampede.
- I'm saying if I had a grenade.
776
00:48:43,087 --> 00:48:46,011
- Of course I don't have a grenade.
- Shush. (Nervous chuckle)
777
00:48:47,091 --> 00:48:50,220
- Another Fanta.
- Let's have another Fanta.
778
00:48:53,431 --> 00:48:54,933
' Hi, guys.
- (Both) Hey!
779
00:48:55,057 --> 00:48:57,230
- So who's dancing?
- Oh, yes, please.
780
00:48:57,351 --> 00:48:59,695
- Bruce.
- No, I'm going to sit this one out.
781
00:48:59,812 --> 00:49:01,814
- I don't think so. Come on.
- Oh, please.
782
00:49:02,773 --> 00:49:05,447
- Hi, Ron.
- Hey, are you all right?
783
00:49:05,568 --> 00:49:07,741
(I Upbeat modern salsa)
784
00:49:26,422 --> 00:49:29,426
Off. Off. Off.
785
00:49:29,550 --> 00:49:30,972
What?
786
00:49:31,093 --> 00:49:34,597
Get off this fucking dance floor
with your shitty dancing.
787
00:49:34,722 --> 00:49:37,145
- I was doing the steps.
- Doing the steps?
788
00:49:37,266 --> 00:49:40,270
Any prick can do the steps.
That prick can do the steps.
789
00:49:41,687 --> 00:49:45,317
Where's the fucking heart?
Where's e/ corazdn?
790
00:49:45,441 --> 00:49:47,159
- I don't know.
- What's that?
791
00:49:47,276 --> 00:49:48,698
- I don't know.
- You don't know.
792
00:49:48,819 --> 00:49:51,618
Well, in that case,
why don't you piss off back to the bar,
793
00:49:51,739 --> 00:49:56,085
grab yourself a pint of bitter
and watch like all the fucking losers?
794
00:49:56,202 --> 00:49:57,704
Don't.
795
00:50:55,219 --> 00:50:57,438
Scrub it off of me.
796
00:50:57,555 --> 00:50:59,774
This filthy tan.
797
00:51:01,225 --> 00:51:03,648
(G roans)
798
00:51:05,854 --> 00:51:07,948
- Big news, ball bag.
- What?
799
00:51:08,065 --> 00:51:11,660
Shift. when you were at home
last night making love to your hand,
800
00:51:11,777 --> 00:51:16,578
guess who went disco dancing
with the sexually-frustrated lady boss.
801
00:51:16,699 --> 00:51:18,793
- Who?
- Me. I did.
802
00:51:18,909 --> 00:51:22,038
- Yeah, got that.
- Oh, my God. She can move.
803
00:51:22,162 --> 00:51:24,756
And the sweat dripping off of her,
804
00:51:24,873 --> 00:51:28,047
it was like
a waterfall of babies' tears.
805
00:51:28,168 --> 00:51:30,011
Mm, poetic.
806
00:51:30,963 --> 00:51:33,807
Ah, I think we all know
where this is headed.
807
00:51:33,924 --> 00:51:35,551
Inside of her.
808
00:51:35,676 --> 00:51:37,269
- You know what I mean?
- (Softly) Yeah.
809
00:51:39,346 --> 00:51:42,065
- Why are you telling me all this?
- Don't be a virgin.
810
00:51:42,182 --> 00:51:44,150
- I know you made a play for her.
- No, I didn't.
811
00:51:45,352 --> 00:51:48,526
A mix tape?
Are you fucking John Cusack now?
812
00:51:48,647 --> 00:51:50,695
You took it. (Laughs)
813
00:51:50,816 --> 00:51:53,490
I didn't want you to be embarrassed.
She'd laugh in your face.
814
00:51:53,611 --> 00:51:55,613
I made it for her car.
815
00:51:55,738 --> 00:51:57,615
- Just give me it, will you?
- Your big arms are too slow.
816
00:51:57,740 --> 00:51:59,583
- (Julia) Hey, guys.
- Hey, Jules.
817
00:51:59,700 --> 00:52:02,328
- How's it going?
- Really good. Really good.
818
00:52:02,453 --> 00:52:03,750
Last night was fun, right?
819
00:52:03,871 --> 00:52:05,669
- So much fun.
- Yeah, it was good.
820
00:52:05,789 --> 00:52:08,133
Helen was obviously trying
to hustle us all, but...
821
00:52:08,250 --> 00:52:11,129
(Laughs)
Yeah, it was a good night.
822
00:52:11,253 --> 00:52:13,847
- (Mouths)
- How are your little footsies?
823
00:52:13,964 --> 00:52:17,218
- You know what? Pretty sore.
- I'll bet they are.
824
00:52:17,343 --> 00:52:19,596
We, uh, stopped off at a club
on the way home.
825
00:52:19,720 --> 00:52:21,518
That's right.
826
00:52:21,639 --> 00:52:23,858
I'm going to go.
I've got things to do.
827
00:52:23,974 --> 00:52:26,443
- See you later, Brucie.
- Bye, Bruce.
828
00:52:36,862 --> 00:52:39,285
Drew! Ow!
829
00:52:40,741 --> 00:52:42,459
Oh, shit.
830
00:52:42,576 --> 00:52:46,297
Oh, shit. Oh.
831
00:52:46,413 --> 00:52:49,337
- Are you all right?
- Yeah, just having a manicure.
832
00:52:49,458 --> 00:52:52,007
- This came. Will you sign for it?
- Sure.
833
00:52:53,170 --> 00:52:55,673
Can you... Sorry.
834
00:52:57,216 --> 00:52:58,934
(G roans)
835
00:53:00,594 --> 00:53:02,392
- Thank you. Cheers.
- Thanks.
836
00:53:02,513 --> 00:53:04,982
Can I, um...
837
00:53:05,099 --> 00:53:07,898
(Mutters) Oh, this is bad.
838
00:53:08,936 --> 00:53:11,189
(Whimpers) Help.
839
00:53:11,980 --> 00:53:14,074
- That was so fun.
- Yeah.
840
00:53:14,191 --> 00:53:16,740
- We should do it again.
- Yeah, maybe.
841
00:53:16,860 --> 00:53:18,487
What's erm...
What's with the tape?
842
00:53:18,612 --> 00:53:20,580
Oh, shoot.
843
00:53:21,699 --> 00:53:24,794
You caught me.
Er, it's for your car.
844
00:53:25,536 --> 00:53:28,665
Oh, my God.
You made an inlay.
845
00:53:29,581 --> 00:53:30,958
- (Chuckles)
- Yes, I did.
846
00:53:31,083 --> 00:53:32,881
Nobody makes inlays anymore.
847
00:53:33,001 --> 00:53:36,596
Yeah, it's just a silly,
little touch I thought you'd like.
848
00:53:36,714 --> 00:53:39,718
That's really... That's really nice.
849
00:53:39,842 --> 00:53:42,140
Now I feel like
I have to get you something.
850
00:53:42,261 --> 00:53:44,684
That would be so cute.
851
00:53:44,805 --> 00:53:46,853
That's really nice. Thank you.
852
00:53:53,480 --> 00:53:55,608
(Scratching)
853
00:53:57,860 --> 00:54:00,033
- How was your bubble bath?
- Ha-ha!
854
00:54:02,531 --> 00:54:05,580
- Was it rejuvenating?
- That's classic, Gary, classic.
855
00:54:05,701 --> 00:54:08,045
(Laughs)
Listen, I love the craic.
856
00:54:08,162 --> 00:54:10,381
One might say
I'm addicted to the craic,
857
00:54:10,497 --> 00:54:12,841
but right now
I just want to get my head down
858
00:54:12,958 --> 00:54:15,962
and plough my way
through this bucket of balls, all right?
859
00:54:17,296 --> 00:54:18,468
Yeah?
860
00:54:18,589 --> 00:54:20,637
I think we've got a new heading
for our weekly roundup.
861
00:54:20,758 --> 00:54:25,559
Unexplained homoerotic encounters
with rugged foreign males. Mickey?
862
00:54:26,180 --> 00:54:29,184
- Nil.
- Me, nil. Brucie?
863
00:54:29,308 --> 00:54:31,982
Ah, fuck the weekly roundup.
864
00:54:32,102 --> 00:54:33,649
Fuck it.
865
00:54:33,771 --> 00:54:35,773
Oh, dear. What's wrong with her?
866
00:54:37,149 --> 00:54:39,447
Come on, Bruce. Who was he?
867
00:54:39,568 --> 00:54:41,787
- What are you hiding from us?
- Nothing.
868
00:54:44,490 --> 00:54:45,742
Aw.
869
00:54:45,866 --> 00:54:49,962
Did the sexy sultan's rich bath milk
irritate your sensitive skin?
870
00:54:50,078 --> 00:54:52,376
- Fuck off.
- Oh!
871
00:54:52,498 --> 00:54:54,717
Hey, are you all right, Gary? Gary?
872
00:54:54,833 --> 00:54:56,961
- I'm sorry. Are you OK?
- Yeah, fine mate.
873
00:54:57,085 --> 00:55:00,089
- Yeah, forget about it.
- Hey, hey, hey. Don't go.
874
00:55:02,508 --> 00:55:05,057
Yeah, this is the one,
the trusty arsehole wedge.
875
00:55:05,177 --> 00:55:07,896
Hey, hey. Don't... Gary, don't...
876
00:55:08,013 --> 00:55:11,768
Stop it. Stop. Oh! Gary! Oh!
Gary, don't!
877
00:55:11,892 --> 00:55:13,769
- You keep running!
- Gary!
878
00:55:13,894 --> 00:55:15,487
- Right.
- Help me!
879
00:55:15,604 --> 00:55:16,901
Par three!
880
00:55:17,523 --> 00:55:20,572
- Argh!
- Or should I say par arsehole!
881
00:55:21,235 --> 00:55:24,239
I didn't mean to hit you, Gary!
Please!
882
00:55:24,363 --> 00:55:26,036
Keep running!
883
00:55:26,156 --> 00:55:28,204
Ah!
884
00:55:28,325 --> 00:55:30,498
Oh! Oi!
885
00:55:31,912 --> 00:55:33,914
" Stop it!
- Ah!
886
00:55:35,958 --> 00:55:38,131
Argh! Oi!
887
00:55:38,252 --> 00:55:40,926
- I dance!
- (Gary) Fore!
888
00:55:43,173 --> 00:55:44,925
I dance, all right?
889
00:55:46,802 --> 00:55:49,271
(Bruce)
Please stop hitting balls at me.
890
00:55:51,265 --> 00:55:52,608
(Mickey) Wee!
891
00:55:52,724 --> 00:55:54,647
Salsa?
892
00:55:55,811 --> 00:55:58,234
- With the little shoes?
- Yes.
893
00:55:58,355 --> 00:56:00,357
Yes, salsa with the little shoes.
894
00:56:04,361 --> 00:56:05,453
Why?
895
00:56:06,822 --> 00:56:09,120
I was doing it for that girl.
896
00:56:09,241 --> 00:56:12,620
- What girl?
- The... the butterfly.
897
00:56:13,161 --> 00:56:14,663
The eponymous butterfly
898
00:56:14,788 --> 00:56:17,382
from the
"Tale of the Butterfly and the Parsnip".
899
00:56:18,500 --> 00:56:20,798
- The parsnip, the butterfly.
- Oh.
900
00:56:22,129 --> 00:56:25,178
What, you thought
the parsnip would win the butterfly
901
00:56:25,299 --> 00:56:27,347
by doing
a bit of tiny shoe shuffle?
902
00:56:27,467 --> 00:56:30,641
Yes. I know. It's stupid, isn't it?
903
00:56:31,847 --> 00:56:34,851
And then there's Drew.
Do you remember Drew?
904
00:56:34,975 --> 00:56:37,194
Oh, yes, that horse's arse.
905
00:56:37,311 --> 00:56:39,780
Yeah. Well, he likes her, too.
906
00:56:39,897 --> 00:56:43,822
He might be a horse's arse,
but he's better at all this than I am so...
907
00:56:44,818 --> 00:56:46,820
I might just let him
get on with it.
908
00:56:47,821 --> 00:56:51,576
Yeah, mate, just...
It's probably for the best.
909
00:56:51,700 --> 00:56:54,704
Just... just forget about her, eh?
910
00:57:09,927 --> 00:57:12,146
(Sighs)
911
00:57:13,013 --> 00:57:14,765
(Ron) He's back.
912
00:57:15,807 --> 00:57:18,560
Jesus Christ, Ron.
You fuckin' made me jump.
913
00:57:18,685 --> 00:57:20,107
Who is she, Bruce?
914
00:57:20,771 --> 00:57:22,148
Mm?
915
00:57:22,856 --> 00:57:27,987
The girl in the club the other night,
she's the one, hm?
916
00:57:28,111 --> 00:57:30,489
- It doesn't matter.
- No, of course, it doesn't matter.
917
00:57:30,614 --> 00:57:33,242
That's why you've got a face
like a dropped scone.
918
00:57:33,367 --> 00:57:36,541
It's just stupid.
I wanted to make her fall in love with me.
919
00:57:36,662 --> 00:57:40,337
Mm... and then along comes
this other fella - tall, better looking...
920
00:57:40,457 --> 00:57:43,006
Let's face it.
His dick couldn't be any smaller.
921
00:57:45,253 --> 00:57:49,554
That's why you came back.
La dofia, the woman.
922
00:57:50,926 --> 00:57:52,553
It's salsa, Ron.
923
00:57:52,678 --> 00:57:54,601
- It's always about a woman.
- Mm-hmm.
924
00:57:54,721 --> 00:57:57,224
I just wanted you
to make me good enough for her.
925
00:57:57,349 --> 00:57:59,192
Why don't you just keep standing
in front of that mirror
926
00:57:59,309 --> 00:58:00,811
and do what you did
in the club the other night?
927
00:58:00,936 --> 00:58:03,439
- Do me a favour and do that.
- What?
928
00:58:03,563 --> 00:58:06,612
Oh, come on. You know what you did.
You felt it.
929
00:58:06,733 --> 00:58:10,658
- You want me to do it now?
- Come on. It's just us girls, Brucie.
930
00:58:11,279 --> 00:58:13,156
I don't want to.
931
00:58:13,281 --> 00:58:15,124
- Oh, he bottles it.
- Bottles?
932
00:58:15,242 --> 00:58:17,336
What a surprise.
933
00:58:20,330 --> 00:58:22,253
- Where are you going?
- Come on. We got work to do.
934
00:58:22,374 --> 00:58:23,421
What kind of work?
935
00:58:23,542 --> 00:58:26,546
We're going to get shit-faced
and play board games.
936
00:58:30,215 --> 00:58:32,513
- Eye piece for one eye?
- Monocle.
937
00:58:32,634 --> 00:58:34,011
Mm.
938
00:58:34,136 --> 00:58:36,264
Sorry, why are we doing this again?
939
00:58:36,388 --> 00:58:39,062
- Sits on top of a Christmas tree?
- A fairy.
940
00:58:39,850 --> 00:58:41,693
No, a star.
941
00:58:41,810 --> 00:58:43,904
- That's time.
- Oh, all right.
942
00:58:44,021 --> 00:58:46,274
- That's for you.
- Go.
943
00:58:47,399 --> 00:58:51,495
OK, they ate this much to God's
annoyance in the Garden of Eden.
944
00:58:51,611 --> 00:58:53,454
- Apple.
- Apple is correct.
945
00:58:53,572 --> 00:58:55,950
Oh, OK, he... Um, he's a an actor.
946
00:58:56,074 --> 00:58:57,951
- He does films.
- It's a purple one.
947
00:58:58,076 --> 00:59:00,249
- Yeah and?
- You have to do an impression.
948
00:59:01,163 --> 00:59:03,006
(Chuckles)
I'm not doing an impression.
949
00:59:03,123 --> 00:59:05,125
- Well, you have to.
- No.
950
00:59:05,250 --> 00:59:07,252
- Do the impression, Bruce.
- No, I can't.
951
00:59:07,377 --> 00:59:10,347
- Just do the impression.
- No, I'm not doing an impression.
952
00:59:11,089 --> 00:59:13,717
- What are you so scared of, eh?
- I'm not.
953
00:59:14,593 --> 00:59:16,311
- Just do the impression, then.
- No, I'm not doing...
954
00:59:16,428 --> 00:59:18,021
Why are you so afraid
of what people might think?
955
00:59:18,138 --> 00:59:19,981
Why can't you put yourself
out there?
956
00:59:20,098 --> 00:59:21,691
- I mean...
- So do the impression.
957
00:59:21,808 --> 00:59:23,776
- It's almost time.
- Do the impression.
958
00:59:23,894 --> 00:59:26,989
- That's it. Time.
- Do the fucking impression!
959
00:59:27,105 --> 00:59:30,985
- Why are you always shouting at me?
- Because you fucking quit on me.
960
00:59:31,109 --> 00:59:33,862
- I did not quit.
- You had the world at your feet.
961
00:59:33,987 --> 00:59:36,285
- I did not quit.
- And you walked away, didn't you?
962
00:59:36,406 --> 00:59:37,783
- No, I didn't.
- Oh, yes, you did.
963
00:59:37,908 --> 00:59:40,377
You keep swanning back in here
and swanning out again.
964
00:59:40,494 --> 00:59:43,623
- Swanning back in...
- They broke me. All right?
965
00:59:43,747 --> 00:59:46,751
If you want to know, the night
of the competition, they broke me.
966
00:59:46,875 --> 00:59:50,129
A gang of kids, bullies, they just...
they broke it out of me.
967
00:59:50,253 --> 00:59:54,133
- I didn't want to do it anymore!
- Some big boys gave you a shoeing.
968
00:59:54,257 --> 00:59:57,181
You're a male dancer.
Do you think I never took any shit?
969
00:59:57,302 --> 00:59:58,975
So what are you going
to do about it, eh?
970
00:59:59,096 --> 01:00:01,975
Are you going to hide away,
or maybe crawl under your duvet
971
01:00:02,099 --> 01:00:05,820
and watch "Bridget Jones Part Two"
with some white Maltesers?
972
01:00:06,728 --> 01:00:07,945
(Softly) Don't.
973
01:00:09,106 --> 01:00:10,983
Then what?
974
01:00:13,026 --> 01:00:14,744
- Then what?
- I don't know!
975
01:00:14,861 --> 01:00:16,613
So do the fucking impression!
976
01:00:16,738 --> 01:00:18,706
- Say hello to my little friend.
- Again.
977
01:00:18,824 --> 01:00:20,417
- Say hello to my little...
- Again!
978
01:00:20,534 --> 01:00:22,002
- Say hello to my...
- Again!
979
01:00:22,119 --> 01:00:23,746
(Cuban accent)
Say hello to my little friend!
980
01:00:24,412 --> 01:00:26,915
- Al Pa-fucking-cino
- Yes!
981
01:00:28,041 --> 01:00:31,386
So... shall we go and dance
in front of the mirror?
982
01:00:31,503 --> 01:00:33,756
Yeah.
983
01:00:34,714 --> 01:00:37,433
Yes. That is time.
984
01:00:38,718 --> 01:00:40,561
Get the shoulders. Loosen up.
985
01:00:40,679 --> 01:00:44,604
That's it. Loosen up.
Roll those shoulders. Roll them.
986
01:00:44,724 --> 01:00:46,818
- Roll them. Roll them.
- (Groans)
987
01:00:48,145 --> 01:00:50,147
Arms of an eagle.
988
01:00:52,023 --> 01:00:54,401
I said an eagle,
not a fucking heron.
989
01:00:54,526 --> 01:00:56,528
It is an eagle.
990
01:00:57,863 --> 01:01:00,036
OK, try again. Legs of a stallion.
991
01:01:01,366 --> 01:01:02,663
Arms of an eagle.
992
01:01:02,784 --> 01:01:04,752
(Breathes deeply)
993
01:01:04,870 --> 01:01:06,338
Go.
994
01:01:11,835 --> 01:01:13,963
That's it. Work it out, Brucie.
995
01:01:14,087 --> 01:01:15,964
Go on, Garrett.
996
01:01:19,801 --> 01:01:22,600
Takes a lot of hard work
to make it look that easy.
997
01:01:23,972 --> 01:01:25,394
- Mm.
- All right.
998
01:01:37,569 --> 01:01:39,071
Think about it all the time.
999
01:01:42,407 --> 01:01:45,160
Now, I know you're all waiting
for this particular model,
1000
01:01:45,285 --> 01:01:48,004
but as we say,
better lathe than never.
1001
01:01:51,541 --> 01:01:53,168
(Julia) All right, so...
1002
01:01:59,049 --> 01:02:00,847
One, two, three, four...
1003
01:02:07,265 --> 01:02:08,892
- What is that?
- What?
1004
01:02:09,017 --> 01:02:11,236
- That's chicken stuff.
- It's reggaeton.
1005
01:02:15,398 --> 01:02:16,741
(Grunts)
1006
01:02:20,362 --> 01:02:21,989
(G roans)
1007
01:02:22,113 --> 01:02:23,365
(All laugh)
1008
01:02:25,325 --> 01:02:27,748
- Three, two, one and down.
- Ow!
1009
01:02:27,869 --> 01:02:29,416
- You all right?
- Ow.
1010
01:02:29,537 --> 01:02:31,460
I'm so sorry.
Someone's coming.
1011
01:02:54,813 --> 01:02:57,407
Whoa, whoa!
Room for a small one?
1012
01:02:57,524 --> 01:02:59,367
I have a question for you.
1013
01:02:59,484 --> 01:03:01,327
Well, I love questions.
1014
01:03:01,444 --> 01:03:03,617
So you like Latin music, huh?
1015
01:03:05,657 --> 01:03:08,581
- The mix tape.
- Oh, right, the mix, yes.
1016
01:03:08,702 --> 01:03:13,424
(Latino accent) Oh, I am a Latino boy
big time, I am, music wise.
1017
01:03:13,540 --> 01:03:16,464
Thanks for listening to that.
It was a real labour of love for me.
1018
01:03:16,584 --> 01:03:20,805
That track
at the end of side one, oh...
1019
01:03:20,922 --> 01:03:25,052
Oh, shoot, that's the...
That's my favourite track.
1020
01:03:25,176 --> 01:03:27,554
- Isn't it just so er...tracky?
- It's so...
1021
01:03:27,679 --> 01:03:31,900
And, er, it's the best song
that you could put at the end of side one
1022
01:03:32,017 --> 01:03:34,691
- on a mix tape, like that.
- Yeah, yeah.
1023
01:03:35,312 --> 01:03:39,533
You know what's weird
is whenever I listen to that track,
1024
01:03:39,649 --> 01:03:43,028
I like to imagine myself
just lying in front of a log fire,
1025
01:03:43,153 --> 01:03:46,783
just with a glass of... tequila,
1026
01:03:46,906 --> 01:03:49,329
just chewing on a chimichanga,
you know?
1027
01:03:50,535 --> 01:03:52,253
- (Lift bleeps)
- Oh, hey.
1028
01:03:52,370 --> 01:03:56,841
That pitch that you and Bruce did,
you guys aced it, barn, sold.
1029
01:03:56,958 --> 01:03:59,256
Shut the front door. You're kidding.
1030
01:03:59,377 --> 01:04:01,471
Stop that train.
No, I'm not.
1031
01:04:01,588 --> 01:04:03,716
- I'm not.
- (Laughs)
1032
01:04:03,840 --> 01:04:06,093
We should get together
and celebrate.
1033
01:04:06,217 --> 01:04:07,764
- Yes, we should.
- My place.
1034
01:04:07,886 --> 01:04:09,263
- Yes.
- Take-out.
1035
01:04:09,387 --> 01:04:11,355
- Yes.
- Invite Bruce and Helen.
1036
01:04:12,557 --> 01:04:14,309
Yeah.
1037
01:04:15,518 --> 01:04:17,145
We should absolutely do that.
1038
01:04:17,771 --> 01:04:19,489
- Cool, so you'll tell them.
- Yeah.
1039
01:04:19,606 --> 01:04:21,654
- Great.
- Of course. I'll totes tell them.
1040
01:04:21,775 --> 01:04:24,119
You can totally trust me to do that.
1041
01:04:24,235 --> 01:04:27,205
That's not a problem. (Hums)
1042
01:04:30,075 --> 01:04:33,579
- Hey. What are you hiding?
- Nothing.
1043
01:04:33,703 --> 01:04:36,798
- What are you hiding?
- Behold.
1044
01:04:37,457 --> 01:04:39,459
Santa Vito.
1045
01:04:41,378 --> 01:04:43,927
What?
It's just another salsa night. So what?
1046
01:04:44,047 --> 01:04:47,267
So what?
Look at it squashy chops.
1047
01:04:47,384 --> 01:04:49,933
It's a competition. Sorry.
1048
01:04:51,054 --> 01:04:55,230
Don't you see?
This is your time, Bruce.
1049
01:04:55,350 --> 01:04:57,352
This is the Goonie time.
1050
01:04:58,353 --> 01:04:59,946
Do you know about the Goonie time?
1051
01:05:00,063 --> 01:05:04,068
Of course I know about the Goonie time.
My watch runs on Goonie time.
1052
01:05:04,192 --> 01:05:07,617
So then you know
that it's their time up there,
1053
01:05:07,737 --> 01:05:09,535
but it's our time down here.
1054
01:05:11,282 --> 01:05:14,286
You can do this, Bruce.
You can win this mother-funky
1055
01:05:14,411 --> 01:05:17,335
and you can show the world
what you're really made of.
1056
01:05:17,831 --> 01:05:20,129
Think about it.
What have we go to lose?
1057
01:05:22,710 --> 01:05:24,804
Yeah, I mean, I suppose I could.
1058
01:05:25,422 --> 01:05:28,141
Bruce, we Persians have a saying.
1059
01:05:28,258 --> 01:05:31,683
(Speaks Farsi)
1060
01:05:31,803 --> 01:05:35,603
- I... I don't really speak Farsi.
- If you want to do something do it.
1061
01:05:35,723 --> 01:05:37,725
If you don't want to do it,
don't do it.
1062
01:05:39,436 --> 01:05:40,528
(Bleeping)
1063
01:05:41,187 --> 01:05:43,861
I'm going to be late for my ball wax.
I'll call you later.
1064
01:05:43,982 --> 01:05:45,450
- Yeah, sure.
- OK, bye.
1065
01:05:51,072 --> 01:05:52,824
(Bruce) I can still see you there.
1066
01:05:53,450 --> 01:05:55,703
- (Bajen) See you.
- See you later.
1067
01:05:58,413 --> 01:06:01,713
Hello.
One, two, three, four, five. Yes.
1068
01:06:01,833 --> 01:06:04,461
- You win.
- Finally. Finally.
1069
01:06:04,586 --> 01:06:07,214
Now, you know what you get
for first prize, you lucky prick.
1070
01:06:07,338 --> 01:06:09,340
- I dread to think.
- You get one of these.
1071
01:06:09,466 --> 01:06:11,343
- And there it is.
- And...
1072
01:06:13,845 --> 01:06:15,847
two of these.
1073
01:06:18,516 --> 01:06:23,067
I just thought you might want
an old pair of shitty shoes from the '80s.
1074
01:06:23,188 --> 01:06:25,111
One careful owner.
1075
01:06:28,985 --> 01:06:30,362
Thanks, Ron.
1076
01:06:30,487 --> 01:06:33,366
You're not going to try
and finger me now, are you?
1077
01:06:33,490 --> 01:06:36,619
- You want me to try and finger you?
- You're ready.
1078
01:06:36,743 --> 01:06:39,622
You... are free.
1079
01:06:41,247 --> 01:06:43,591
I'm going to ask her
to this thing tomorrow night
1080
01:06:43,708 --> 01:06:46,757
and I would be honoured
if you would come and watch us.
1081
01:06:47,420 --> 01:06:49,673
Ah, I'll have to check my diary.
1082
01:06:49,797 --> 01:06:51,219
Thank you.
1083
01:06:52,342 --> 01:06:54,265
Look at them.
1084
01:06:54,385 --> 01:06:56,433
- They're so soft
- Mm.
1085
01:06:57,597 --> 01:06:59,565
(Breaths out and sniffs)
1086
01:06:59,682 --> 01:07:01,650
Don't... Don't do that.
1087
01:07:10,026 --> 01:07:11,744
(Sighs)
1088
01:07:12,737 --> 01:07:14,705
(Softly) Come on.
1089
01:07:22,580 --> 01:07:24,628
She's not at work today.
1090
01:07:24,749 --> 01:07:26,672
(Sam) 'Fine, so do it tomorrow.'
1091
01:07:26,793 --> 01:07:31,469
No, I can't. It is tonight, all right?
I have to do it tonight.
1092
01:07:31,589 --> 01:07:33,717
In that case,
you are a tiny bit fucked.
1093
01:07:33,841 --> 01:07:36,435
Sam, please,
I really need you to just help me.
1094
01:07:36,553 --> 01:07:39,397
OK, do exactly as I say
and do not deviate.
1095
01:07:39,514 --> 01:07:42,393
You go home, you shower,
you shave, you put on something nice.
1096
01:07:42,517 --> 01:07:44,485
I'm thinking powder blue,
shirt not trousers.
1097
01:07:44,602 --> 01:07:46,604
Do not put on powder blue trousers.
1098
01:07:46,729 --> 01:07:49,107
Then you get a taxi to her house.
Someone will know where she lives.
1099
01:07:49,232 --> 01:07:51,200
You knock on her door.
You knock her off her feet
1100
01:07:51,317 --> 01:07:52,739
with your confident suggestion
of a night out.
1101
01:07:52,860 --> 01:07:55,488
She immediately says yes,
then you whisk her off to the club.
1102
01:07:55,613 --> 01:07:57,615
You dance the competition.
You win the competition.
1103
01:07:57,740 --> 01:07:59,617
We all get shit-faced,
then we all go home, got it?
1104
01:07:59,742 --> 01:08:01,744
(Chuckles) Thanks, Sam.
1105
01:08:05,790 --> 01:08:07,758
Oh, God, I'm good.
1106
01:08:11,963 --> 01:08:13,636
(Door opens)
1107
01:08:14,382 --> 01:08:18,603
God, it's so busy in here.
I think I'll use this one.
1108
01:08:18,720 --> 01:08:20,848
- All right, ball bag.
- Stupid.
1109
01:08:20,972 --> 01:08:24,101
Just finishing off
a little text to Julie-Jules.
1110
01:08:24,225 --> 01:08:26,444
I told you that
she gave me her mobile number, right?
1111
01:08:26,561 --> 01:08:28,063
Yeah, a few times.
1112
01:08:28,187 --> 01:08:31,316
Ooh, by the way,
thanks for that mixed tape.
1113
01:08:31,441 --> 01:08:33,318
That was a hit.
1114
01:08:33,443 --> 01:08:36,117
- You gave it to her?
- Oh, yeah, she bloody loved it.
1115
01:08:36,237 --> 01:08:38,331
Thought it was very sweet.
1116
01:08:38,448 --> 01:08:41,327
I think I'm going to put it on
when we seal the deal for the first time.
1117
01:08:41,451 --> 01:08:43,954
You know, a bit of sex-muzak,
set the mood.
1118
01:08:44,787 --> 01:08:46,084
Don't be jealous, big lad.
1119
01:08:46,205 --> 01:08:49,049
I'm sure she'll still have room in her life
for a fat best friend.
1120
01:08:50,752 --> 01:08:52,004
You don't know about me.
1121
01:08:54,005 --> 01:08:56,133
What don't I know?
1122
01:08:56,257 --> 01:08:57,304
I dance.
1123
01:08:58,009 --> 01:08:59,852
I'm sorry,
I thought you said that "I dance".
1124
01:08:59,969 --> 01:09:02,017
Yeah, I did. I dance salsa.
1125
01:09:02,680 --> 01:09:06,480
- (Chuckles) You dance salsa?
- Yeah, salsa.
1126
01:09:06,601 --> 01:09:08,353
(Laughs sarcastically)
1127
01:09:08,478 --> 01:09:10,947
I would fucking love to see that.
1128
01:09:11,064 --> 01:09:13,408
Maybe you will.
Maybe I'll dance you under the table.
1129
01:09:15,234 --> 01:09:17,407
What sort of table?
1130
01:09:17,528 --> 01:09:19,121
Any sort of table.
1131
01:09:21,574 --> 01:09:23,668
(Lift bleeps)
1132
01:09:26,663 --> 01:09:28,882
All right, bum flap,
let's settle this like men.
1133
01:09:28,998 --> 01:09:30,841
Winner takes Julia.
1134
01:09:32,460 --> 01:09:33,803
What about HR?
1135
01:09:38,007 --> 01:09:41,352
What happens at lunch stays at lunch.
1136
01:10:09,831 --> 01:10:11,708
Ow!
1137
01:10:14,001 --> 01:10:16,003
Your wrists are limp.
1138
01:10:16,129 --> 01:10:17,756
- Ooh!
- Your dick is limp.
1139
01:10:19,382 --> 01:10:21,134
(Horn blares)
1140
01:10:21,259 --> 01:10:23,227
Oh, sorry.
1141
01:10:27,849 --> 01:10:31,353
- You learn fast.
- I learn from the best. Julia.
1142
01:10:31,477 --> 01:10:34,651
Sweet, sweet,
rest-your-balls-on-my-chin, Julia.
1143
01:10:34,772 --> 01:10:36,490
- Smell that.
- No.
1144
01:10:39,652 --> 01:10:41,620
Did you just lick my pussy?
1145
01:10:41,738 --> 01:10:44,366
(West Indian accent)
Yeah and you tasted like a nasty girl.
1146
01:10:44,490 --> 01:10:46,333
That's disgusting.
1147
01:10:50,163 --> 01:10:51,710
Wanker!
1148
01:10:54,625 --> 01:10:57,219
I'm wearing the wrong shoes
for this shit.
1149
01:10:57,336 --> 01:10:59,930
- What the fu...
- (Bruce) Coo-ee!
1150
01:11:00,047 --> 01:11:02,175
(Bruce) Where are you?
1151
01:11:02,300 --> 01:11:04,598
I thought you liked banter.
1152
01:11:04,719 --> 01:11:07,723
(Whispers)
Oh, fuck off, Bruce. Fuck off.
1153
01:11:11,934 --> 01:11:13,277
(Bruce whistles)
1154
01:11:14,520 --> 01:11:17,364
- Ooh.
- What the... Big mistake.
1155
01:11:17,482 --> 01:11:19,530
That's Jessie the lezzie
from accounts' car.
1156
01:11:28,868 --> 01:11:31,212
Quick step for such meaty thighs.
1157
01:11:39,545 --> 01:11:41,593
- Ooh, ooh, do you like that?
- (Grunts)
1158
01:11:43,090 --> 01:11:46,014
- Wait, no, don't lead me!
- Like a lady.
1159
01:11:46,135 --> 01:11:48,479
- This is wrong. You know it is.
- Like a lady.
1160
01:11:48,596 --> 01:11:51,224
- I'm a man. I'm a fully-grown man.
- Then prove it.
1161
01:11:51,349 --> 01:11:52,726
(Both grunt)
1162
01:11:56,395 --> 01:11:57,772
What is that?
1163
01:11:57,897 --> 01:11:59,695
- That's my phone.
- No, no.
1164
01:12:02,777 --> 01:12:04,905
Huh?
1165
01:12:05,029 --> 01:12:06,372
(Both grunt)
1166
01:12:11,118 --> 01:12:13,746
Ooh! Oh, me blades!
1167
01:12:19,794 --> 01:12:21,671
Oh!
1168
01:12:21,796 --> 01:12:23,673
(Drew groans)
1169
01:12:23,798 --> 01:12:25,971
Whoo!
1170
01:12:26,092 --> 01:12:29,346
Like I said, any sort of table.
1171
01:12:29,470 --> 01:12:31,518
(Groans) Fine, you win.
1172
01:12:31,639 --> 01:12:33,733
I can't do this every fucking lunch.
1173
01:12:34,475 --> 01:12:37,228
Doesn't mean
that she's going to pick you, Bruce.
1174
01:12:37,353 --> 01:12:39,697
She wouldn't pick you over me.
That's just bad maths.
1175
01:12:39,814 --> 01:12:42,237
- She's a clever girl.
- Probably right.
1176
01:12:42,942 --> 01:12:45,991
You're quite good-looking.
You've got lovely, long legs.
1177
01:12:46,112 --> 01:12:47,534
- Yeah.
- Nice car.
1178
01:12:47,655 --> 01:12:50,249
- Great car.
- But there is something missing.
1179
01:12:50,366 --> 01:12:52,915
I have got something that you don't have.
Do you know what that is?
1180
01:12:53,035 --> 01:12:55,538
Type 2 diabetes.
1181
01:12:55,663 --> 01:12:57,461
Heart.
1182
01:12:57,582 --> 01:12:59,380
Corazén.
1183
01:12:59,500 --> 01:13:05,132
You know, I am Bruce Garret
and I am fucking salsa.
1184
01:13:06,048 --> 01:13:08,050
Get up, bum flap.
1185
01:13:12,179 --> 01:13:15,979
How can you take something so
seriously that's named after a dip?
1186
01:13:35,912 --> 01:13:37,835
(Breathes out deeply)
1187
01:13:41,292 --> 01:13:43,169
(Breathes out deeply)
1188
01:13:53,888 --> 01:13:55,390
- Oh, nice shirt.
- Thank you.
1189
01:13:55,514 --> 01:13:57,516
- Come in.
- No, wait, wait. Please.
1190
01:13:57,642 --> 01:13:59,235
(Sighs)
1191
01:13:59,936 --> 01:14:04,783
I dance. I dance salsa
and there is this club called Santo Vito...
1192
01:14:04,899 --> 01:14:06,242
- Bruce.
- No, please
1193
01:14:07,151 --> 01:14:10,906
I can hardly breathe. I'm so nervous.
I'm hyperventilating.
1194
01:14:11,030 --> 01:14:13,158
I feel like I can see flies.
1195
01:14:14,116 --> 01:14:16,995
- I don't...
- Let me cut to the chase.
1196
01:14:17,703 --> 01:14:21,628
If you're not doing anything tonight,
I would love to take...
1197
01:14:27,254 --> 01:14:29,348
- Of course.
- Bruce?
1198
01:14:29,465 --> 01:14:32,685
- What's wrong, Bruce?
- Of course, this is...
1199
01:14:34,595 --> 01:14:36,814
- (Julia) Bruce...
- I'm sorry.
1200
01:14:36,931 --> 01:14:41,357
What do you mean?
No, Bruce, what? Wait. Bruce.
1201
01:14:41,477 --> 01:14:44,856
Come back. Bruce?
Where are you go... Oh.
1202
01:14:46,899 --> 01:14:49,869
Oh, my... Oh, my God.
What are you doing?
1203
01:14:49,986 --> 01:14:52,739
Come on. You know.
1204
01:14:52,863 --> 01:14:55,582
I know? What do I know?
1205
01:14:55,700 --> 01:14:59,546
Let's say we skip dinner
and go straight to pudding.
1206
01:14:59,662 --> 01:15:01,289
(Gasps)
1207
01:15:01,414 --> 01:15:02,711
Are you kidding?
1208
01:15:03,624 --> 01:15:07,128
Yeah. Yeah, totally kidding.
1209
01:15:07,253 --> 01:15:08,721
Just focus
on putting your pants back on.
1210
01:15:08,838 --> 01:15:11,842
OK, I'm not kidding.
Here's the thing. This is where I'm at.
1211
01:15:11,966 --> 01:15:14,435
I just want to be honest with you
because I think you deserve that.
1212
01:15:14,552 --> 01:15:15,929
I'm just going to say this.
1213
01:15:16,053 --> 01:15:18,306
I'm just going to blurt it out
before I lose my nerve.
1214
01:15:18,431 --> 01:15:23,187
- Oh, my God.
- Julia Matthews of America...
1215
01:15:24,729 --> 01:15:29,826
I would be honoured
if you would let me fuck you.
1216
01:15:31,569 --> 01:15:33,617
- Really?
- I just want to...
1217
01:15:33,738 --> 01:15:35,957
I just want to...
I just want to do it.
1218
01:15:36,073 --> 01:15:37,746
(Breathes heavily)
1219
01:15:37,867 --> 01:15:39,790
Oh, my God.
1220
01:15:39,910 --> 01:15:42,083
Just get up and just get out, please.
1221
01:15:42,204 --> 01:15:43,922
- What?
- Just get out.
1222
01:15:44,040 --> 01:15:45,713
Wait. Is this banter?
1223
01:15:45,833 --> 01:15:48,256
I can't believe
that you just dropped trou
1224
01:15:48,377 --> 01:15:50,175
and propositioned your boss.
1225
01:15:50,296 --> 01:15:52,765
- Did you really just do that?
- It was an act of boldness.
1226
01:15:52,882 --> 01:15:56,432
Wait, did you not tell Bruce
about tonight, or Helen?
1227
01:15:56,552 --> 01:15:59,305
- Did I tell Bruce and Helen?
- Was this all part of your plan?
1228
01:15:59,430 --> 01:16:03,560
I can't... I might have.
I don't think I mentioned it.
1229
01:16:03,684 --> 01:16:06,528
All right,
this conversation is definitely over.
1230
01:16:06,645 --> 01:16:09,364
Just please
take your little Italian shoes
1231
01:16:09,482 --> 01:16:11,701
and your pudding and just get out.
1232
01:16:11,817 --> 01:16:14,366
Can I just say I think
that you are making a big mistake?
1233
01:16:15,071 --> 01:16:18,325
I'm going to have you transferred
to plastic mouldings on Monday.
1234
01:16:18,449 --> 01:16:21,248
Oh, that's bullshit!
That's just a bad managerial...
1235
01:16:21,368 --> 01:16:24,713
You know what?
FYI I didn't make that shitty mix tape.
1236
01:16:26,290 --> 01:16:27,792
Oh.
1237
01:16:27,917 --> 01:16:29,840
(Knocking)
I'm sorry, Julia.
1238
01:16:29,960 --> 01:16:33,885
I said some things,
which may now seem foolish.
1239
01:16:34,006 --> 01:16:38,933
OK, I'm... I'm going to be honest.
My granny died.
1240
01:16:39,053 --> 01:16:41,772
I swear to God, Drew,
if you're still there in 15 seconds,
1241
01:16:41,889 --> 01:16:45,063
I'm going to take your pudding
and shove it right up your ass.
1242
01:16:45,184 --> 01:16:47,152
Uh...
1243
01:17:02,910 --> 01:17:04,833
Bruce.
1244
01:17:11,794 --> 01:17:16,766
Welcome tonight to the
Santa Vito salsa espectécu/o. Let's go!
1245
01:17:16,882 --> 01:17:18,179
(Cheering)
1246
01:17:18,300 --> 01:17:20,018
(I Upbeat salsa plays)
1247
01:17:23,347 --> 01:17:25,441
(Both laugh)
1248
01:17:25,558 --> 01:17:30,064
(MC) We're about an hour away
from the main competition event.
1249
01:17:30,187 --> 01:17:32,406
(Bejan) You like it?
1250
01:17:32,523 --> 01:17:33,945
Not really my thing.
1251
01:17:34,525 --> 01:17:37,620
(Bejan) How do you know
you don't like it unless you try it?
1252
01:17:37,736 --> 01:17:39,989
A lot of things
I haven't tried, mate.
1253
01:17:40,114 --> 01:17:43,994
I haven't tried incest,
but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't like it.
1254
01:17:44,118 --> 01:17:48,168
Incest and salsa
are two very different things, trust me.
1255
01:17:52,751 --> 01:17:56,927
Bruce, call me when you get this.
I want to know you're all right.
1256
01:17:57,047 --> 01:17:58,674
(I Upbeat salsa)
1257
01:18:00,342 --> 01:18:03,266
- He's not picking up.
- He's probably crying somewhere.
1258
01:18:03,387 --> 01:18:07,358
Somewhere quiet and dry.
That's what I would be doing.
1259
01:18:08,267 --> 01:18:10,019
I think I know where he is.
1260
01:18:15,357 --> 01:18:17,200
(Sighs)
1261
01:18:18,068 --> 01:18:20,366
- Can I borrow a racket?
- Help yourself.
1262
01:18:28,537 --> 01:18:30,460
(Sighs)
1263
01:18:30,581 --> 01:18:32,800
So how did it go?
1264
01:18:32,917 --> 01:18:36,512
I'm wearing a silk shirt
studded with jet-black rhinestones
1265
01:18:36,629 --> 01:18:39,098
driving balls out into the darkness.
1266
01:18:39,215 --> 01:18:41,013
How do you think it went?
1267
01:18:41,133 --> 01:18:43,306
So now what?
Are you going to stop dancing?
1268
01:18:44,303 --> 01:18:46,647
- I was only doing it for her.
- Were you?
1269
01:18:49,475 --> 01:18:51,603
So, what,
are you going to give it all up again,
1270
01:18:51,727 --> 01:18:53,400
the only thing you're good at?
1271
01:18:53,520 --> 01:18:55,147
Literally the only thing
you've ever been good at
1272
01:18:55,272 --> 01:18:56,819
that wasn't shit
and totally pointless.
1273
01:18:56,941 --> 01:18:58,784
Oh, OK, fine. Here we go.
1274
01:18:58,901 --> 01:19:03,452
Just off the top of my head,
quizzes, carving Sunday roasts,
1275
01:19:03,572 --> 01:19:06,121
the Rubik's Cube, the Rubik's Sphere.
1276
01:19:06,242 --> 01:19:08,540
The Rubik's Snake, flags of the world,
1277
01:19:08,661 --> 01:19:11,505
driving abroad, famous dams,
1278
01:19:11,622 --> 01:19:14,375
identifying dogs
by their silhouettes, you know?
1279
01:19:14,500 --> 01:19:18,130
- African money. I could go on.
- You're wasting your life.
1280
01:19:18,254 --> 01:19:20,848
What do you know?
You are 35 years old.
1281
01:19:20,965 --> 01:19:25,721
And you are working as a hula girl.
Oh, sorry, no, hula woman. Oh!
1282
01:19:25,844 --> 01:19:27,938
- Fuck off, Bruce.
- You fuck off.
1283
01:19:34,103 --> 01:19:36,071
- Good shot.
- Thanks.
1284
01:19:37,439 --> 01:19:38,656
You need to dance, Bruce.
1285
01:19:39,483 --> 01:19:42,703
You were lost.
This is your chance to get back.
1286
01:19:42,820 --> 01:19:44,914
- I don't have a partner.
- Yeah, you do.
1287
01:19:47,074 --> 01:19:48,997
- You?
- I've still got it.
1288
01:19:51,870 --> 01:19:53,918
- That's pretty good.
- Mm-hmm.
1289
01:19:55,124 --> 01:19:56,842
Remember the old routine?
1290
01:19:59,295 --> 01:20:02,344
Don't. Don't do that.
Don't you bloody dare.
1291
01:20:02,464 --> 01:20:04,466
Don't evoke it.
1292
01:20:07,636 --> 01:20:13,860
Thunder, Thunder, Thunder,
ThunderCats! Ho!
1293
01:20:15,185 --> 01:20:17,153
(I Upbeat salsa)
1294
01:20:40,377 --> 01:20:44,132
(MC) 'Yes, please,
give it up for Gaz and Kate.'
1295
01:20:44,256 --> 01:20:46,350
(Cheering)
1296
01:20:47,343 --> 01:20:50,813
Salt and pepper,
here comes the hot stepper.
1297
01:20:50,929 --> 01:20:52,977
- All right? All right, Gal?
- Oi, oi.
1298
01:20:53,098 --> 01:20:56,773
- Hey, Helen, thanks for coming.
- Fuck me, you look great.
1299
01:20:56,894 --> 01:21:00,398
- (Chuckles) Where's Ron?
- He was busy. I'm sorry.
1300
01:21:02,358 --> 01:21:04,235
(Bejan) Bruce, forget Ron.
1301
01:21:04,360 --> 01:21:06,783
You look so good
you could be fucking Bee Gee.
1302
01:21:07,696 --> 01:21:11,621
(MC) 'Oye, look at this.
Me la rebanco.
1303
01:21:12,368 --> 01:21:14,712
'Don't ruffle her feathers.'
1304
01:21:15,662 --> 01:21:17,960
(MC talks indistinctly)
1305
01:21:18,082 --> 01:21:19,755
You have to go.
1306
01:21:19,875 --> 01:21:23,254
'Just what I'm talking about.
Let's go through to the next round.
1307
01:21:23,712 --> 01:21:28,513
'Celebremos. Celebremos. Celebremos.
1308
01:21:28,634 --> 01:21:32,764
'Can we please have the couples
to the dance floor for heat four?'
1309
01:21:32,888 --> 01:21:34,265
(Cheering)
1310
01:21:34,390 --> 01:21:35,687
- Are you ready?
- No.
1311
01:21:35,808 --> 01:21:37,902
Me neither. Come on. Let's go.
1312
01:21:38,769 --> 01:21:40,567
I'm sorry.
1313
01:21:52,908 --> 01:21:55,036
(I Upbeat salsa plays)
1314
01:21:57,496 --> 01:21:59,999
- Hey!
- (Bejan yells)
1315
01:22:00,124 --> 01:22:01,671
(Cheering)
1316
01:22:01,792 --> 01:22:03,339
- Happy?
- Yeah.
1317
01:22:03,460 --> 01:22:06,589
Big smile, tits and teeth out.
1318
01:22:06,713 --> 01:22:08,340
'Let's go!'
1319
01:22:08,465 --> 01:22:10,467
(Cheering)
1320
01:22:12,469 --> 01:22:17,020
(MC laughs)
'That's what I'm talking about!'
1321
01:22:18,434 --> 01:22:20,562
- Holy shit.
- Wow.
1322
01:22:20,686 --> 01:22:23,155
Yes, holy shit.
1323
01:22:24,440 --> 01:22:26,738
(MC) 'Look at this. The feet of fury.'
1324
01:22:28,026 --> 01:22:30,245
Hey, adios, my friends.
1325
01:22:32,156 --> 01:22:34,124
(Cheering)
1326
01:22:41,957 --> 01:22:43,880
Ho!
1327
01:22:47,004 --> 01:22:49,348
I'm sorry. You have to go.
1328
01:22:54,803 --> 01:22:56,555
Time to go.
1329
01:22:57,473 --> 01:23:00,852
(MC) 'Catch her. Have a ball.
In blue, azul.
1330
01:23:00,976 --> 01:23:03,855
'We have our semi-finalists here.'
1331
01:23:03,979 --> 01:23:06,482
(Cheering)
(MC) 'Amazing!
1332
01:23:08,025 --> 01:23:09,743
(MC) 'Inspirational!'
1333
01:23:15,240 --> 01:23:17,789
- OK, I want it back.
- What?
1334
01:23:17,910 --> 01:23:19,583
- Come on. Where is it?
- Where's what?
1335
01:23:19,703 --> 01:23:22,673
What have you done with it?
Where have you hidden it?
1336
01:23:22,789 --> 01:23:24,291
- Is it in this pocket?
- Don't.
1337
01:23:24,416 --> 01:23:26,089
- It's in this pocket.
- Don't muck about.
1338
01:23:26,210 --> 01:23:28,212
- What have you done with it?
- What?
1339
01:23:29,171 --> 01:23:32,471
You took my breath away in there
and I want it back.
1340
01:23:32,591 --> 01:23:35,265
Ha-ha! Very funny.
1341
01:23:35,385 --> 01:23:39,811
Bruce, when I first met you,
you were like a sangeh ghoh/I
1342
01:23:39,932 --> 01:23:41,900
Mm, sangeh ghohi.
1343
01:23:42,017 --> 01:23:44,111
What does it mean, sangeh ghohi?
1344
01:23:44,228 --> 01:23:47,823
It's like a large round stone
with some shit on it.
1345
01:23:47,940 --> 01:23:53,117
But now...
you have become of the age.
1346
01:23:54,112 --> 01:23:56,114
You are a man, Bruce.
1347
01:23:59,034 --> 01:24:00,752
Yeah.
1348
01:24:00,869 --> 01:24:02,871
Yeah, I suppose I am.
1349
01:24:04,581 --> 01:24:08,051
And now you have stolen my heart
as well as my breath.
1350
01:24:08,168 --> 01:24:10,887
Where do you keep hiding these things?
1351
01:24:11,880 --> 01:24:15,601
- I should get back out there.
- Yes. Yes, you should.
1352
01:24:15,717 --> 01:24:20,564
You go, Bruce. Go and kill them all,
man, woman and child.
1353
01:24:20,681 --> 01:24:23,355
I'm not going to kill a child.
(Chuckles)
1354
01:24:23,475 --> 01:24:26,479
OK. Go!
1355
01:24:29,731 --> 01:24:31,733
(Breathes out)
1356
01:24:33,777 --> 01:24:35,199
Do you have a Tic Tac?
1357
01:24:35,320 --> 01:24:39,416
(MC) 'Musica, maestro!
What about these guys?
1358
01:24:40,492 --> 01:24:42,494
'What about these guys?
1359
01:24:42,619 --> 01:24:45,088
'Brrr!'
1360
01:24:45,205 --> 01:24:47,799
(I Upbeat rhythmic salsa plays)
1361
01:24:49,376 --> 01:24:51,378
(MC) 'Hey, now.'
1362
01:24:59,595 --> 01:25:00,972
Oh, no, no, no.
Get off.
1363
01:25:07,019 --> 01:25:08,896
- 'I'm sorry, friends.'
- Let's go.
1364
01:25:12,107 --> 01:25:15,452
'Hey, you dig it!
1365
01:25:17,446 --> 01:25:20,120
'And here is
fanning the flames of salsa.'
1366
01:25:22,951 --> 01:25:24,953
" Ow!
1367
01:25:28,415 --> 01:25:29,667
Let's go!
1368
01:25:32,628 --> 01:25:33,925
(Cheering)
1369
01:25:34,046 --> 01:25:36,048
- Yes!
- Come on, Bruce!
1370
01:25:42,721 --> 01:25:44,348
(MC) 'Double pleasure.
1371
01:25:44,473 --> 01:25:47,272
'Wow, that's unexpected.'
1372
01:25:59,237 --> 01:26:01,410
You're in my yard now.
1373
01:26:16,380 --> 01:26:20,601
(MC) 'We have our finalists!
We have our finalists.'
1374
01:26:21,885 --> 01:26:24,308
Oh, love you, Bruce.
1375
01:26:24,429 --> 01:26:26,807
(Cheering and chattering)
1376
01:26:27,808 --> 01:26:30,311
- (Bruce) Hey.
- (All chatter excitedly)
1377
01:26:31,311 --> 01:26:34,315
- (MC) 'Let's hear it. Come on.'
- That's my best mate.
1378
01:26:34,439 --> 01:26:35,736
(MC) 'Wow.'
1379
01:26:35,857 --> 01:26:39,111
- Gary, whisky, large.
- You can win this, Bruce.
1380
01:26:39,236 --> 01:26:41,534
- I haven't got much more left.
- (Mumbles)
1381
01:26:41,655 --> 01:26:43,999
- Drink it. Drink it.
- No, I don't want it.
1382
01:26:45,075 --> 01:26:48,921
Eye of the tiger, Bruce.
Eye of the tiger!
1383
01:26:49,579 --> 01:26:52,924
'Ladies and gentlemen,
the floor is yours.'
1384
01:26:53,041 --> 01:26:55,009
(I Upbeat salsa plays)
1385
01:27:53,018 --> 01:27:54,065
Wow.
1386
01:27:54,978 --> 01:27:57,447
Yeah, I thought I'd make an effort.
1387
01:27:59,149 --> 01:28:01,527
Me and Drew wasn't anything.
1388
01:28:01,651 --> 01:28:04,450
That's not anything.
1389
01:28:06,865 --> 01:28:07,991
Good.
1390
01:28:08,116 --> 01:28:11,996
I just wanted to say thank you
for the mix tape.
1391
01:28:13,580 --> 01:28:17,175
It's no big deal,
although the inlay, that took ages.
1392
01:28:17,292 --> 01:28:19,886
Great inlay.
Excellent penmanship.
1393
01:28:20,003 --> 01:28:21,380
- Thank you.
- Really.
1394
01:28:21,505 --> 01:28:23,553
Yeah, I used a very fine nib
1395
01:28:23,673 --> 01:28:27,473
0.4 mil, it's tiny.
It's probably the width of a human hair.
1396
01:28:28,094 --> 01:28:32,520
So I didn't have you down
as a salsa guy. No offence.
1397
01:28:32,641 --> 01:28:34,518
Right, yes.
1398
01:28:34,643 --> 01:28:38,364
I was a dancer when I was a kid
and I loved it
1399
01:28:38,480 --> 01:28:43,327
and then this shit thing happened
to me and everything changed...
1400
01:28:44,319 --> 01:28:47,744
until I met you
and you inspired me,
1401
01:28:47,864 --> 01:28:50,367
so I learnt to dance again.
1402
01:28:50,492 --> 01:28:52,244
I re-learnt all the old steps.
1403
01:28:52,369 --> 01:28:55,373
I tracked down my old teacher,
Ron Parfitt who's just...
1404
01:28:55,497 --> 01:28:57,716
He's a horrible, horrible human being.
1405
01:28:57,833 --> 01:29:00,586
I shaved my chest.
I went to some amazing clubs.
1406
01:29:00,710 --> 01:29:03,714
I met some amazing people
and now...
1407
01:29:03,839 --> 01:29:08,686
finally I feel like me again,
which is what I always wanted.
1408
01:29:08,802 --> 01:29:11,555
You know? To... feel like myself.
1409
01:29:14,724 --> 01:29:17,398
- You shaved your chest?
- Yeah, I shaved my chest, and...
1410
01:29:17,519 --> 01:29:21,399
(Clears throat)
...it's very itchy, all the time.
1411
01:29:23,275 --> 01:29:26,279
(MC) 'OK, kill the musica, please,
maestro.
1412
01:29:26,403 --> 01:29:31,500
'Ladies and gentlemen,
let's go, the Santo Vito final!'
1413
01:29:32,742 --> 01:29:34,744
(Cheering)
1414
01:29:38,999 --> 01:29:41,422
I was wondering perhaps you would...
1415
01:29:41,543 --> 01:29:43,136
Yes, I'll dance with you.
1416
01:29:44,921 --> 01:29:46,639
(Mouths)
1417
01:29:46,756 --> 01:29:48,599
- Hi.
- Hi.
1418
01:29:49,551 --> 01:29:52,600
- Do you want me to lead?
- No, no, I'll be all right.
1419
01:29:52,721 --> 01:29:54,974
I was actually doing quite well
until you turned up.
1420
01:29:55,098 --> 01:29:56,520
Probably be disqualified.
1421
01:29:58,977 --> 01:30:01,196
(I Upbeat salsa plays)
1422
01:30:01,313 --> 01:30:02,986
(MC) 'Hey!
1423
01:30:05,233 --> 01:30:07,782
'Yes, friends. Oye, mi amigo.
1424
01:30:12,532 --> 01:30:14,580
'This is the final, friends.
1425
01:30:14,701 --> 01:30:17,124
'Let them feel you.
Let them feel you.'
1426
01:30:19,205 --> 01:30:21,207
(Cheering)
1427
01:30:58,745 --> 01:31:00,372
(Cheering)
1428
01:31:14,970 --> 01:31:16,972
(Cheering)
1429
01:31:30,819 --> 01:31:32,992
(I Music ends)
1430
01:31:33,113 --> 01:31:37,038
(MC) 'Santa Vito, our winners!'
1431
01:31:40,537 --> 01:31:43,791
- I don't think we won.
- Maybe next time.
1432
01:31:43,915 --> 01:31:46,919
(Sam) Fab. That was amazing.
1433
01:31:47,043 --> 01:31:48,465
(Chatter excitedly)
1434
01:31:48,586 --> 01:31:50,554
- Hi, I'm Sam.
- Hi, Sam.
1435
01:31:50,672 --> 01:31:53,016
(Ron clears throat)
ScusL sefior Garrett.
1436
01:31:54,009 --> 01:31:55,852
Permission to come on
to your dance floor.
1437
01:31:57,762 --> 01:31:59,230
Granted, Mr Parfitt.
1438
01:32:00,140 --> 01:32:02,563
(I Upbeat salsa plays)
1439
01:32:02,684 --> 01:32:04,937
- Mwah!
- Ah.
1440
01:32:06,354 --> 01:32:09,904
(MC) 'I don't know about you,
but it's time for some love.
1441
01:32:10,025 --> 01:32:12,619
'So demonstrate. Come on. Let's go.'
1442
01:32:12,736 --> 01:32:14,830
(Cheering)
1443
01:32:20,243 --> 01:32:22,291
Hey, good work.
1444
01:32:24,247 --> 01:32:26,045
Well done.