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SUSAN: And that's the news.

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00:01:08,700 --> 00:01:13,600
But before we sign off, we'd like
to congratulate our very own Evan Baxter,

3
00:01:13,700 --> 00:01:17,500
who has just been elected
Buffalo's representative to Congress.

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00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:18,900
And, now, we have a surprise for Evan.

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00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,600
No, you don't.
We do.

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00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,500
Oh, no. I really didn't expect this.

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00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:25,800
Here's a look back at his run for office.

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00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:27,600
(PEOPLE CHEERING)

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00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:29,600
What are we gonna do?

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00:01:29,700 --> 00:01:31,100
ALL: Change the world!

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That's right!

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00:01:32,900 --> 00:01:34,400
(ALL CHEERING)

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ALL: Baxter! Baxter! Baxter!

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00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:49,500
Hi.

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ALL: Baxter! Baxter!

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That's right!

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00:01:54,700 --> 00:01:55,700
(CLEARING THROAT)

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00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:01,200
I feel like that old Indian
in front of all the garbage.

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00:02:02,700 --> 00:02:07,700
So, for the last time, this is Evan Baxter
for Eyewitness News. Good night.

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00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:11,000
(HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE RAIN PLAYING)

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00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:27,500
GPS: Huntsville, Virginia.
Prestige Crest, four miles.

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00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:29,100
What did we do before GPS?

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00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:30,200
Nothing.

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00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:32,500
Guys, Dad's very proud of his new car.

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00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:37,200
Hey, I am proud of my new car.
Look, I'm a politician now.

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00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:40,100
I'm in the public eye, and as you know,
when you are in the public eye,

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00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:41,900
image is everything, isn't it?

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00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:49,800
EVAN: Here it is! Welcome to the good life.

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00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:53,200
Hey, guys, why the long faces?
We're off on a new adventure!

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00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,400
It's just we're going to miss our friends.

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00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,300
You'll make new friends, better friends.

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00:02:58,300 --> 00:02:59,500
Yeah, richer friends.

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00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:03,400
Do not mouth off to me, sir.
I am the boss of you.

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00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:06,100
And let me tell you something,
you guys are gonna love this place.

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00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:09,800
And you know what? I think there's
something for our fishermen up there.

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00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:14,100
EVAN: Baxter family,
this is what's called a scenic vista.

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00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:18,000
And I don't think the big man himself
could do a better job. Pretty cool, huh?

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00:03:18,100 --> 00:03:19,900
Hey, Dad, an iguana can stay underwater
for 28 minutes.

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00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,000
What's that?

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00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:22,900
And a shrimp's heart is in its head.
Really?

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00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,200
Okay, someone's had enough Animal Planet
for one lifetime.

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00:03:25,300 --> 00:03:27,200
Yeah, let's head out! Come on.
The best is yet to come!

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00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,700
EVAN: Gentlemen, I have saved
the best for last.

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00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:35,300
Look over to the right.
That is your new home.

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00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:42,600
RYAN: Whoa!

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00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:43,900
JORDAN: That's our house?

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00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,000
Uh-huh.
JOAN: I don't remember it being
this big in the brochure.

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00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:47,400
Was it this big in the brochure?

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00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:48,700
EVAN: Pretty amazing, isn't it?

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00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:50,400
There they are!

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00:03:51,900 --> 00:03:54,000
Is this curb appeal or what?

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00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:55,600
Here we go!

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00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:57,200
Honey, I think you're blocking my photo.

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00:03:57,300 --> 00:03:58,300
Sorry.

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00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,400
All right, everybody! Say "escrow"!

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00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:02,300
ALL: Escrow!

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00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:06,200
RYAN: Come on. Come on. Come on.
Come on. Go. Go. Go.

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00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,700
EVAN: Guys, easy.

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00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:10,600
(CHILDREN EXCLAIMING)

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00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:12,300
This is our house?

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00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:13,400
Uh-huh.

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00:04:14,300 --> 00:04:15,500
MAN: Careful!

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00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:17,400
JOAN: Honey, be careful!
EVAN: Watch it!

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00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:18,600
Are you kidding me?

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00:04:18,700 --> 00:04:19,900
Mom, can we go upstairs?
JOAN: Yep.

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00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,400
And I get my own room, right?
Yep.

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00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:22,900
(YELLING EXCITEDLY)

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00:04:22,900 --> 00:04:25,500
Mr. Baxter, could you give us some
direction on these kitchen cabinets?

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00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:26,600
Sure.

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00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:31,200
Okay, it's between your maple
and your old-growth Brazilian cherry.

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00:04:31,300 --> 00:04:33,200
That is nice! Which is best?

72
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:36,300
Well, if you're not sensitive
to that "save the rainforest" stuff,

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00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:37,800
you can't beat the Brazilian cherry.

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00:04:37,900 --> 00:04:39,100
It's 200, 300 years old.

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00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:40,700
Three hundred years.
Three hundred.

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00:04:40,700 --> 00:04:42,300
Wow. That is old.

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00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:44,600
And now you are going to hold my dishes.

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00:04:44,700 --> 00:04:46,400
That's right. You going with the cherry?
Cheery cherry!

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00:04:46,500 --> 00:04:48,000
Yeah. Definitely.
He's going with the cherry!

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00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:50,300
RYAN: Dad, look!

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00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:51,700
No, no, no!

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00:04:51,700 --> 00:04:54,200
Ryan, do not touch him, please!

83
00:04:54,300 --> 00:04:55,800
Oh, no, no, no, no, get him away!

84
00:04:55,900 --> 00:04:58,200
No. He might have lice, fleas,
maggots or something.

85
00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:01,000
You do not play with stray dogs
because they are very...

86
00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:03,400
No, no! Get away, get away! Go!

87
00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:05,600
Okay. Oh, no, no, no.

88
00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:07,100
He's thirsty.
No, no, no.

89
00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:10,100
No, you don't! There we go.

90
00:05:10,100 --> 00:05:11,800
Well, Ryan, he's a stray.

91
00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:13,300
If we give him water,
he's just going to come back.

92
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:16,900
Come on, Dad, why can't we keep him?
I mean, we've got a new house.

93
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:18,900
Okay, Ryan, this is why we can't keep him.

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00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,600
They are stinky. They are smelly.
They get hair all over the place.

95
00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:22,900
They get a little thing called the mange.

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00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:26,000
In a nutshell, he is disgusting.
Case in point.

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00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:28,400
(BOTH GIGGLING)

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00:05:30,900 --> 00:05:34,200
EVAN: Ladies and gentlemen,
this concludes day one

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00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:35,800
of the Baxters' new and exciting life.

100
00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:38,200
I have to do the new house dance.

101
00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:40,800
Wow! That dance?

102
00:05:40,900 --> 00:05:42,400
Mmm-hmm.
That's a good new house dance.

103
00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:43,800
Thank you.

104
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:46,000
You know, those boys were having
so much fun tonight,

105
00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:48,100
I thought I would never get them to bed.

106
00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:52,800
And then Ryan did the cutest thing.
He asked if we could all pray together.

107
00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:55,900
Really? What did you pray about?

108
00:05:55,900 --> 00:05:58,000
He met a dog. What do you think
he prayed for?

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00:05:58,100 --> 00:06:00,000
(EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST)

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00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,800
Just a walking petri dish, that dog.

111
00:06:02,900 --> 00:06:05,100
And Jordan was very precise.

112
00:06:05,100 --> 00:06:08,900
He prayed for good visibility, good weather
on the hiking trip tomorrow.

113
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:12,300
The hiking trip? Oh, right. Yeah.
The hiking trip. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

114
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:14,300
You wanna know what I prayed for?

115
00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:16,200
Yeah. What did you pray for?

116
00:06:16,300 --> 00:06:19,400
I prayed we would become closer
as a family.

117
00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:25,100
Honey, you don't need to pray for that
to happen. I will make that happen.

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00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:26,100
(SIGHING)

119
00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:28,300
What would you pray for?

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00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:30,900
Me? I don't know. Praying just...

121
00:06:31,700 --> 00:06:32,700
(SIGHING)

122
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:36,600
Honey, you're the one who said
you wanted to change the world.

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00:06:37,100 --> 00:06:39,000
It's a pretty big job.

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00:06:39,300 --> 00:06:41,600
If it were me,
I would take all the help I could get.

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00:06:44,700 --> 00:06:47,100
(CROWD CHEERING)

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00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:50,300
WOMAN OVER TV: Former Buffalo News
anchor, Evan Baxter, takes office tomorrow

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00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:52,700
to make good on a lofty campaign promise.

128
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:53,900
What are we going to do?

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00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,300
ALL: Change the world!

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00:06:55,300 --> 00:06:58,800
WOMAN OVER TV: Good luck, Congressman.
Many have tried, many have failed.

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00:06:58,900 --> 00:07:00,100
Hello!

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00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:02,000
This is Regina Sparks reporting for...

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00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:06,900
(SIGHING)

134
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:19,400
(CLEARING THROAT)

135
00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:21,300
Hello, there. Hi.

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00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,700
This is Evan Baxter.

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00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:28,800
Just wanted to say thank you for everything.

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00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:32,700
Thank you for the new car and for the house.

139
00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:35,700
The house is great. I love it.

140
00:07:36,300 --> 00:07:41,100
I mean, I picked it out,
but you created matter and everything, so...

141
00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:48,100
I just wanted to say that I think
Joan makes a good point,

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00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:52,700
and that I am now in a position
of great power,

143
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:56,600
and I know that with great power
comes great responsibility.

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00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:00,900
So, God,

145
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,000
(CLEARING THROAT)

146
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:07,200
Please help me change the world.

147
00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:12,000
Okay. That's it. I'm hanging up now.

148
00:08:12,900 --> 00:08:15,400
God bless... Well, you. Okay.

149
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:33,400
(ALARM RINGING)

150
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,500
What? That's weird.

151
00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:41,600
What?

152
00:08:41,700 --> 00:08:43,300
I set the alarm for 7:00.

153
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:47,800
(MOTOR WHIRRING)

154
00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:52,000
(GRUNTING)

155
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:54,300
(SNEEZING)

156
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,000
(GRUNTING)

157
00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:19,500
I am successful. I am powerful.
I am handsome.

158
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,200
I am happy, successful,
powerful, handsome, happy.

159
00:09:23,300 --> 00:09:28,600
All right, everyone, wish me luck.
The Congressman has left the building.

160
00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:33,500
All right, Baxter brood, I will see you
later on this afternoon for the big hike. Yes?

161
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:34,800
EVAN: You psyched? Are you ready?

162
00:09:34,900 --> 00:09:35,900
ALL: Yeah.

163
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,200
Bye. See you.
Good luck, honey.

164
00:09:37,300 --> 00:09:38,500
Bye, guys!
See you later.

165
00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:39,500
Later, gator.

166
00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:41,500
(EXCLAIMING)

167
00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:42,900
Oh, gosh.

168
00:09:42,900 --> 00:09:45,700
Wow. Honey, did you order anything?

169
00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:48,200
"Alpha and Omega Hardware"?

170
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:49,200
JOAN: Never heard of them.

171
00:09:49,300 --> 00:09:50,500
Me either.

172
00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:52,900
What do we have?

173
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:54,300
(GASPING)

174
00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:55,800
What is this stuff?

175
00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:59,000
Must have the wrong address.

176
00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:01,700
Yup. The wrong address.

177
00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:06,500
WOMAN: Congressman Baxter.
Good morning.
Good morning.

178
00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:08,000
MAN 1: Good morning,
Congressman Baxter.
Hello.

179
00:10:08,100 --> 00:10:10,500
MAN 2: Good morning,
Congressman Baxter.
Good morning.

180
00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:13,600
Oh, this is so cool.

181
00:10:15,700 --> 00:10:16,700
Uh-huh.

182
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:18,600
Yeah. This'll work.

183
00:10:18,700 --> 00:10:22,600
There he is! The head honcho.
The big kahuna.

184
00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:24,600
Rita, I think I have to do the dance.

185
00:10:24,700 --> 00:10:25,900
Do the dance.

186
00:10:25,900 --> 00:10:27,300
(GRUNTING)

187
00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:30,800
That's enough of the dance.

188
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:33,000
Oh, this is nice! This is really nice!

189
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:35,700
This is too nice.
There's something crooked going on.

190
00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:37,000
Do you smell anthrax?

191
00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:39,000
Congressman!
Hey, Marty!

192
00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:40,500
Nice sound to that.
I like it.

193
00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:41,500
Here they are!

194
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:42,600
(ALL CHEERING)

195
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:43,800
All right.

196
00:10:43,900 --> 00:10:45,600
You remember Sarah, Allen, Michael.

197
00:10:45,700 --> 00:10:48,400
I don't think you know the new kid
Eugene Tennanbaum. I found him at G.W.

198
00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:51,600
Sort of a walking search engine. Watch this.
How many stars on the flag in 1818?

199
00:10:51,700 --> 00:10:52,700
15.

200
00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:54,700
And Congressman Baxter's coffee habits?

201
00:10:54,700 --> 00:10:57,800
He likes a morning latte with a cruller,
a decaf espresso after lunch,

202
00:10:57,900 --> 00:10:59,500
served sans pastry of any kind.

203
00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:02,200
Very impressive. A little freaky,
but I like this kid.

204
00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:03,900
(LAUGHING) I love you.

205
00:11:04,900 --> 00:11:05,900
Hmm?

206
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:09,900
I mean, we should hang out socially.
I just got a ping-pong table.

207
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,500
Not going to happen.

208
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:14,800
Go find out where his license plates are.
Everybody else, back to your holes.

209
00:11:14,900 --> 00:11:15,900
EUGENE: He was actually right.

210
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,800
I'm doing a background check on that kid.

211
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:22,600
Ta-da! This, my friend, is a power office,
to remind you of the mission!

212
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:24,100
BOTH: "Change the world!"

213
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,900
Okay, Evan, who do you know?
What do you mean?

214
00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:27,900
Oh, come on.
Yesterday we're in the basement.

215
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,800
Today, look at this place.
It's like the Emerald City!

216
00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:33,200
"Enjoy your office.
Your neighbor, Congressman Long."

217
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:35,500
Congressman Long did this?
Did you say "neighbor"?

218
00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:38,400
That's right. He lives in Prestige Crest,
right up the street.

219
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:42,300
Evan, you got to tell me these things.
Think of the publicity angle on this!

220
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:44,800
You and Congressman Long
having a barbecue.

221
00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:46,800
Congressman Long eating your hot dog.

222
00:11:46,900 --> 00:11:48,500
RITA: Hate to break up
your little weenie roast.

223
00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:51,300
Congressman Long's assistant
just dropped this off.

224
00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:52,700
The Congressman would like for you

225
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:55,000
to junior cosponsor this bill
that he's introducing.

226
00:11:55,100 --> 00:11:59,400
Hold on. Congressman Long asked us to
junior cosponsor his bill? What's the bill?

227
00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:02,100
The Citizens' Integration of Public Lands Act.

228
00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:05,400
Never heard of it. Gene, here, now.
Rita, why didn't you tell me about this?

229
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:06,600
I just did.

230
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,300
You need to tell me about it
before I need to know about it.

231
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,500
Marty, you are not the vice congressman.
I am the legislative...

232
00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:14,400
Nobody voted for you. If Evan gets shot
in the head, you do not automatically...

233
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:16,400
If Evan got shot in the head,
you're the first suspect.

234
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:17,500
Play nice. Play nice.

235
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:19,600
All right, Eugene, Congressman Long's bill.
What is it?

236
00:12:19,700 --> 00:12:22,700
HR7124, better known as CINPLAN.

237
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:25,500
The bill would open up fringe areas
of the national parks for development.

238
00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:26,900
Long's been sitting on it for ages...

239
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,100
Got it. Pause. Come on, Evan, this is huge.

240
00:12:29,100 --> 00:12:30,600
You hitch your wagon to the right star,

241
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:32,900
you could ride all the way down
to Pennsylvania Avenue.

242
00:12:32,900 --> 00:12:34,300
This is day one.

243
00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:36,600
You got your name on a major piece
of legislation!

244
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:39,600
Oh, and another thing,
he wants you to read it today.

245
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,300
Well, I can't do it today.

246
00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:42,500
I promised my kids...
Eugene.

247
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:44,500
Well, sir, there's a time clock on the bill.

248
00:12:44,500 --> 00:12:46,600
If Congressman Long wants to
pass it this quarter,

249
00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:48,800
he's going to have to introduce it
to the committee immediately.

250
00:12:48,900 --> 00:12:51,500
I'm personally going with whatever
Congressman Baxter decides,

251
00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:54,500
because if I could be like one man,
it'd be him.

252
00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:55,900
Either him or Kareem.

253
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,100
Can I tase him?

254
00:12:57,100 --> 00:12:58,200
Gene! Heel!

255
00:12:58,300 --> 00:12:59,700
It'd probably be you.

256
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:03,500
Come on, Evan, this is it!
This is why we came here!

257
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,500
It's world-changing time!

258
00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:07,600
(EXCLAIMING)

259
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,700
Hey, anybody home?

260
00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:11,100
Come on. We're in here!

261
00:13:11,100 --> 00:13:12,900
Hey, guys.

262
00:13:12,900 --> 00:13:16,700
Dad, guess what? I got all your stuff
packed up so that we can...

263
00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:19,200
What's wrong?

264
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:21,800
We're not going, are we?

265
00:13:21,900 --> 00:13:26,800
First things first.
I have been asked to junior cosponsor a bill.

266
00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:28,500
Yeah.

267
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:31,000
See? I told you. And you owe me five bucks.

268
00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:32,500
Whoa, whoa, guys.

269
00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:35,400
Hey. Hey, we said we would
have to make sacrifices, right?

270
00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:37,800
DYLAN: Yeah. Whatever.
New house, same old dad.

271
00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,900
Hey, I'm the one who has to read this thing!

272
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:44,300
Hey. Did you hear?
Junior cosponsor of a bill.

273
00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:50,300
Okay, Ry, let's clean all this stuff up.
Dad's got work to do.

274
00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:07,500
(ALARM RINGING)

275
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,900
No. It's 6:14.

276
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:13,900
Of course. Voodoo clock speaks again.

277
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:22,500
What the...

278
00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:27,800
Hey! Hey! Hey! No. Okay.

279
00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:30,900
Whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa! What's going on?

280
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,300
I got a delivery for Evan Baxter!

281
00:14:33,300 --> 00:14:35,200
Yeah, that's not mine. I didn't order that!

282
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:39,000
I just deliver, guy, huh?
You got a complaint, call the number!

283
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:43,000
No! Hey! Listen! We are 416, not 614!

284
00:14:43,100 --> 00:14:47,400
You've got the wrong house!
You can't leave that there!

285
00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:50,000
Listen! Listen!

286
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,200
That's going to leave a brown patch!

287
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,100
I am a U.S. Congressman!

288
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:57,800
(MAN CHATTERING ON TV)

289
00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:05,800
(PHONE RINGING)

290
00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:09,000
Dad, what are you doing? I'm watching this.

291
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:10,700
Genesis 6:14.

292
00:15:14,700 --> 00:15:16,100
Gen 6:14.

293
00:15:16,700 --> 00:15:18,500
Joan! Do we have a Bible anywhere?

294
00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:28,900
Genesis 6:14.

295
00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:31,400
"Make thee an ark of gopher wood..."

296
00:15:32,100 --> 00:15:33,400
Gopher wood.

297
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,500
GOD: "Go-four-wood." Get it?

298
00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:56,000
Well, it's not really gopher wood.
I just like the wordplay.

299
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,400
No, it's pine and maple.

300
00:15:57,500 --> 00:16:01,000
It was clear-cut from this valley
to make room for all those houses.

301
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,700
Excuse me. Do I know you?

302
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:04,300
Not as well as I'd like.

303
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:08,700
I see you got my housewarming gift.

304
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:11,300
That was you? You sent those?

305
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:14,000
What are they for? Hey! Hey.

306
00:16:14,100 --> 00:16:16,700
Genesis, chapter six, verse fourteen.

307
00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:18,700
I want you to build an ark.

308
00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:21,100
You want me to build an ark.

309
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:22,400
Yes.

310
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:27,500
So that's why the tools.
And you are responsible for the wood?

311
00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:30,600
All right. Well, let's just start over.

312
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,100
(CLEARING THROAT)

313
00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:33,800
Hello, I am Evan...

314
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:37,400
Evan Baxter. Born June 15, 1962.

315
00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:38,900
Eight pounds, 11 ounces.

316
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:42,500
Mother's Carroll Ann Parker.
Father, Eugene Evan Baxter.

317
00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:43,600
(EXCLAIMING)

318
00:16:43,700 --> 00:16:46,400
You have internet access. Very impressive.
Do you also have cable?

319
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:49,900
You're a clean freak. You care much
too much about your outward appearance.

320
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,600
Your left nipple is a quarter inch higher
than your right nipple.

321
00:16:52,700 --> 00:16:55,700
And when you were a little boy,
you were afraid of Gumby.

322
00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:58,300
Who are you?

323
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:00,800
I'm God.

324
00:17:01,300 --> 00:17:02,500
You're God?

325
00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:07,800
Yes. And I want you, Evan Baxter,
to build an ark.

326
00:17:08,900 --> 00:17:13,900
Okay. You know what? This conversation
is a little thing I like to call over!

327
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:18,900
But I got to get going,
because, frankly, I have an ark to build.

328
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:23,000
Busy, busy, busy, busy. Nice meeting you.
Take care. Oh, and...

329
00:17:27,700 --> 00:17:29,700
All right, see you later!

330
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:35,500
Shake it off, Evan. It's over.
The nutcase is gone.

331
00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:38,800
I am successful, I'm powerful,
I'm handsome, I'm happy.

332
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:41,100
Successful, powerful, handsome, happy.

333
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:42,300
(SCREAMING)

334
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,700
Get it out, son. It's the beginning of wisdom.

335
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,900
How did you get in here?
I'm calling the cops.

336
00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:49,900
Oh, no. No need! Look! Look.
There's one right there. Right there.

337
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:55,400
Officer! Officer! Officer! Carjacker!
Carjacker in the car! Carjacker in the car!

338
00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:58,300
(GASPING)

339
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:02,500
Careful pulling out.
Pedestrian in the crosswalk.

340
00:18:06,700 --> 00:18:08,300
(EXCLAIMING IN DISBELIEF)

341
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:09,400
(CAR HONKING)

342
00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:12,500
(TIRES SCREECHING)

343
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,600
(STAMMERING)

344
00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:22,300
(ELEVATOR BELL RINGING)

345
00:18:33,100 --> 00:18:34,100
(EXCLAIMS)

346
00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:36,000
Shake it off, shake it off!
Shake it off, shake it off!

347
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,300
Good morning, chief!

348
00:18:41,300 --> 00:18:42,300
(EXCLAIMING)

349
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:43,600
Good morning, Rita.

350
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:46,200
You almost scared me to death!
What's wrong with you?

351
00:18:46,300 --> 00:18:48,200
Nothing. Just sort of a weird ride in.

352
00:18:48,300 --> 00:18:49,300
Weird how?

353
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:50,800
It was just a weird ride in.

354
00:18:51,100 --> 00:18:52,900
Okay, well, thanks for clarifying.

355
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,400
Here's your mail and your schedule.
Okay.

356
00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:59,800
And they finally fixed the phones.
My new extension is 614.

357
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:03,200
614.

358
00:19:03,300 --> 00:19:04,600
Yeah. 614?

359
00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:05,800
Right.

360
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,000
You want me to write that down?

361
00:19:09,100 --> 00:19:10,900
I'd rather you didn't.

362
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:13,200
MARTY: Good morning.

363
00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:15,800
Hey, Long came through with that seat
on the House Resource Committee.

364
00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:18,400
You stuck in your thumb
and pulled out a plum, my friend.

365
00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:20,400
Also, the new Congressional plates
just came in.

366
00:19:20,500 --> 00:19:23,900
Gene, plates, now.
And Alex at the Buffalo office had her baby.

367
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,800
Boy or girl?
A little boy. And here he is.

368
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:29,000
Just as cute as a button. Not bad
for such an ugly woman. Weighed in at...

369
00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:30,800
Six pounds, 14 ounces.

370
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:32,800
How'd you know that?

371
00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:33,900
Lucky guess.

372
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,000
(EXCLAIMING)

373
00:19:35,100 --> 00:19:40,000
Hot, hot, hot! Hot off the press!
It's a joke. Here are your plates, sir.

374
00:19:40,100 --> 00:19:41,100
(GASPS)

375
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,400
MARTY: Those are rock-star plates, man.
You can park anywhere.

376
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:44,500
You can't be sitting in a chair.

377
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,100
You've got a committee meeting
in five minutes.

378
00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:51,100
Come on, BMIC, Big Man in Congress.
Evan Baxter, the shark on the move.

379
00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:58,300
(HAMMER POUNDING)

380
00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,600
MAN: House Resources Committee
is now in order.

381
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,800
The Chair recognizes the congresswoman
from Tennessee

382
00:20:02,900 --> 00:20:05,400
to lead the Pledge of Allegiance.

383
00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:06,600
CONGRESSWOMAN:
I pledge allegiance to the flag...

384
00:20:06,700 --> 00:20:08,000
ALL: I pledge allegiance to the flag

385
00:20:08,100 --> 00:20:10,800
of the United States of America

386
00:20:10,900 --> 00:20:14,500
and to the Republic, for which it stands...

387
00:20:14,500 --> 00:20:16,500
...one nation, under me...
ALL: One nation, under God...

388
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:20,700
ALL: Indivisible,
with liberty and justice for all.

389
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:25,500
How long do you want to do this, son?
I've got all eternity.

390
00:20:28,900 --> 00:20:30,200
(ALL GASPING)

391
00:20:30,300 --> 00:20:31,600
(CLAMORING)

392
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,100
(WHISTLING)

393
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:38,700
Hey. You okay, young man?

394
00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:41,800
What happened?
You fainted.

395
00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:43,700
Dropped like a leaf
during the Pledge of Allegiance.

396
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,300
Chuck Long,
Resources Committee Chairman.

397
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:50,000
Oh. Oh. Congressman Long. Yes.
Oh, I'm so sorry about...

398
00:20:50,100 --> 00:20:54,200
Forget it! Many a man's been humbled
by his first day in Congress.

399
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:55,600
So, how'd you like that office?

400
00:20:55,700 --> 00:20:57,600
Oh, it was great. Yes. Thank you, sir.

401
00:20:57,700 --> 00:20:59,800
Not bad for a freshman dorm room, huh?

402
00:21:00,700 --> 00:21:01,900
So here's the skinny.

403
00:21:01,900 --> 00:21:04,000
I'm bringing you into my land use bill

404
00:21:04,100 --> 00:21:07,200
because you strike me as the type of guy
who knows how to hit the ground running.

405
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:10,800
Yes, sir. I read the bill, and it's great.
I just had a few questions.

406
00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:13,000
Hey, I wrote the thing
and I have a few questions.

407
00:21:13,100 --> 00:21:16,300
We'll get to the questions later.
So, you with us?

408
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:17,900
Yes, sir. I'm in.
Wonderful!

409
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,000
I'll need you to put that into
a letter of intent,

410
00:21:20,100 --> 00:21:22,400
as soon as you're feeling up to it,
of course. You get yourself better.

411
00:21:22,500 --> 00:21:24,000
Enjoy that office.

412
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,400
Thank you, sir.

413
00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:30,100
He's exhausted from reading that bill.
I got woozy from just carrying it.

414
00:21:30,100 --> 00:21:31,500
Evan, sit down.

415
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:32,600
Evan, what happened to you?

416
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:34,900
You can't faint during the Pledge
of Allegiance. It's un-American.

417
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:36,300
Oh, good. The doctor's here.

418
00:21:36,300 --> 00:21:37,400
Say "ah."

419
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:38,800
(GASPING)

420
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:42,900
Just go home, get some rest
and start on that ark. You hear me?

421
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,100
(CHUCKLES)

422
00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:50,200
Evan?

423
00:21:50,900 --> 00:21:55,100
O.K.
God warned noah about the great flood was coming...

424
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:58,500
Noah build the ark for his wife and 3 sons...

425
00:21:59,700 --> 00:22:01,600
(CHATTERING)

426
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:06,800
The ark was 300 qubics long and
50 qubics high

427
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:08,900
(DOOR OPEN)
Heyyy!

428
00:22:09,100 --> 00:22:11,000
What are you doing?
Hmmm...

429
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:12,600
Going over Todd's Bill?

430
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:15,400
Yea...That's what i was looking at...
Oh man...

431
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:18,700
...there's a lot...
...a lot of research to do on it

432
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:22,400
You know David, you have every right
to be freaked out

433
00:22:22,500 --> 00:22:24,500
I'm not freaked out, why would i be freaked out?

434
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:28,600
I'm freaking out, because of the future
just listen you just got a new job ...

435
00:22:28,700 --> 00:22:32,800
...and then with this freaking bill your working on...
...sofort and on and on...

436
00:22:33,900 --> 00:22:35,900
The name is stressed

437
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:39,000
Oh no honey, i've known you 20 years...
...i know your stressed

438
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:44,500
(KIDS CHATTERING)

439
00:22:45,500 --> 00:22:47,900
They're getting to much sugar in they're blood

440
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,500
Thank you honey
-O.K.

441
00:22:52,700 --> 00:22:54,600
She's right
This is cracy

442
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:56,900
I'm just stressed and you are gone

443
00:23:02,500 --> 00:23:04,700
Good Morning

444
00:23:04,900 --> 00:23:05,500
Good Morning

445
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:08,400
Good Morning, how are you?

446
00:23:08,500 --> 00:23:10,500
Somebody is in a good mood

447
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:15,300
I am, i thought about what you said and
you're right, i need to get my head on straight

448
00:23:15,300 --> 00:23:18,800
Guess what?
this weekend we're going on a Hike-ing trip

449
00:23:18,900 --> 00:23:21,700
Hurray... Yeeaa... high five it
We're going on a hiking trip

450
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,000
We're gonna have a rightess hiking trip

451
00:23:24,100 --> 00:23:26,000
Hey dad look!
2 doves that's supose to be good luck

452
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:29,100
Well today must be my lucky day

453
00:23:29,500 --> 00:23:32,200
Bye guys
Bye bye

454
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:37,400
Good morning kitty
Keep moving... break it up

455
00:23:52,300 --> 00:23:56,100
Hey!
When you're on my lawn keep it in your pot!

456
00:24:01,700 --> 00:24:06,400
Ohh... ohh... hey!
Thank's for sharing

457
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,300
(ANIMALS CHATTERING)

458
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:03,300
(BIRDS COOING)

459
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:15,600
(EVAN EXCLAIMING)

460
00:25:23,100 --> 00:25:24,300
MARTY: You're right on time.

461
00:25:24,300 --> 00:25:27,700
Long just called. He's on his way with the
powers that be. Who are they, Gene? Talk.

462
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:29,900
Congressman Jim Dodd,
head of Ways and Means.

463
00:25:29,900 --> 00:25:32,200
But don't worry, sir,
he's definitely not "way mean."

464
00:25:32,300 --> 00:25:33,900
That's speculation.
I don't know him personally...

465
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:35,200
That's too much, Gene. Who else?

466
00:25:35,300 --> 00:25:37,200
Congressman Richard Stamp,
head of Commerce,

467
00:25:37,300 --> 00:25:38,800
and Bob Hughes is Transportation.

468
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:40,100
I have a draft of your support letter.

469
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:42,100
Sounds like a plan.
Are you all right?

470
00:25:42,100 --> 00:25:43,100
I'm good.

471
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:45,000
You sure you're good? Okay.

472
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:48,200
Good morning, chief.
Good morning, Rita.

473
00:25:48,300 --> 00:25:49,500
Are you okay?
I'm fine.

474
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:51,400
You don't look so good.
That's what I said.

475
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:53,400
You're all jumpy. Are you on that Fen-Phen?

476
00:25:53,500 --> 00:25:55,500
Guys, I'm fine. I'll be inside.

477
00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:00,000
(EXHALING)

478
00:26:05,100 --> 00:26:06,500
(CAWING)

479
00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:09,900
No, no, no, no.

480
00:26:10,900 --> 00:26:15,600
No. Okay. No, no. No. No, no. No.

481
00:26:16,900 --> 00:26:19,500
No, no, no. Oh, my gosh!

482
00:26:20,300 --> 00:26:24,900
Guys! No, no! Get out! Get out! Oh, my hair!

483
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,600
Gentlemen, welcome.
What an honor to have you here.

484
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,000
I'm Marty Stringer.
I'm Congressman Baxter's chief of staff.

485
00:26:30,100 --> 00:26:32,200
This is Rita Daniels, his executive assistant.

486
00:26:32,500 --> 00:26:34,200
RITA: Are you ready, sir?

487
00:26:34,300 --> 00:26:38,400
Just a minute. No, no, no, no.
Dirty, dirty, dirty! Big one!

488
00:26:38,700 --> 00:26:41,900
Baxter's only a freshman, sir, but I think
you'll find he is locked and loaded.

489
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:45,000
Good. Maybe this young stud can help me
get these old mares on board.

490
00:26:45,100 --> 00:26:46,200
Oh, you'll be impressed.

491
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:48,800
(BIRDS CHIRPING)

492
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:52,900
Gentlemen, good to see you.

493
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:58,700
Do you want to explain yourself,
Congressman? What is going on?

494
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:00,900
Oh, these

495
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:02,600
(BIRDS CHIRPING)

496
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:04,300
Are birds.

497
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:07,000
What are they doing here?
How did they get in here?

498
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,800
Well, that is an excellent question.

499
00:27:09,900 --> 00:27:13,200
And my response to said question is,

500
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,100
they are trained

501
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:18,200
aviaries, sir.

502
00:27:18,300 --> 00:27:19,200
(BIRDS CHIRPING)

503
00:27:19,300 --> 00:27:22,700
Let me make you see
what I'm talking about.

504
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:29,500
I can make any sort of movement,
and they will not get off!

505
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:31,900
Do you have a point, Congressman?

506
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:33,600
Hey, guys, what's the point?

507
00:27:36,100 --> 00:27:37,300
What's my point?

508
00:27:37,300 --> 00:27:38,600
(EXCLAIMING IN PAIN)

509
00:27:38,700 --> 00:27:40,100
I'll tell you.

510
00:27:40,100 --> 00:27:42,300
The point is

511
00:27:44,700 --> 00:27:46,800
that man

512
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:51,500
needs to dominate creatures

513
00:27:51,500 --> 00:27:54,800
and, ultimately, man must

514
00:27:55,700 --> 00:27:59,200
dictate what happens in this country.

515
00:28:02,100 --> 00:28:03,100
(SIGHING)

516
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:04,500
God bless America.

517
00:28:05,700 --> 00:28:07,500
(BIRDS CAWING)

518
00:28:07,500 --> 00:28:08,800
I couldn't agree more.

519
00:28:08,900 --> 00:28:10,400
You have got to be kidding me.

520
00:28:10,500 --> 00:28:11,700
CONGRESSMAN: No, of course not.

521
00:28:11,700 --> 00:28:15,500
We lost a huge project last year
because of the red-headed woodpecker.

522
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:17,500
Those environmentalists got so up in arms

523
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:20,500
over the potential disappearance
of one stupid bird...

524
00:28:20,500 --> 00:28:21,900
Yeah, birds are stupid sometimes.

525
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:24,700
...we lost over $25 million in business.

526
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:27,900
I see where you're going with this,
Congressman. Good work!

527
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:31,600
Your little display has obviously
hit a chord. Gentlemen.

528
00:28:32,500 --> 00:28:33,800
(LONG CHUCKLING)

529
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:40,800
From now on, let's keep the surprises
to a maximum of, say, none. Understood?

530
00:28:40,900 --> 00:28:42,600
Yes, sir. Absolutely, sir.

531
00:28:42,900 --> 00:28:44,700
(BIRDS CHIRPING)

532
00:28:52,700 --> 00:28:55,900
Evan, that was brilliant. Risky, but brilliant.

533
00:28:56,700 --> 00:28:57,700
(MARTY EXCLAIMING IN DELIGHT)

534
00:28:58,500 --> 00:28:59,600
What the...

535
00:28:59,700 --> 00:29:04,700
I'll tell you one thing, these birds had
a nice big meal before they flew in here.

536
00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:06,200
You want me to get my BB gun?

537
00:29:06,300 --> 00:29:08,500
You know what I want you to do?
I want you to open the door.

538
00:29:08,500 --> 00:29:09,600
Open the door?

539
00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:10,800
Just open the door!

540
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:13,100
Close the door after I leave! Just do it!

541
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:14,200
Okay.

542
00:29:14,300 --> 00:29:17,200
One, two, three!

543
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:26,500
Man, if I get the bird flu,
he is paying for my medical bills!

544
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:27,900
(TIRES SCREECHING)

545
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:33,900
(GASPS)

546
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,000
(TIRES SCREECHING)

547
00:29:35,700 --> 00:29:36,700
(SHEEP BLEATING)

548
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:38,700
Sheep!

549
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:39,700
(RACCOONS CHATTERING)

550
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:41,800
(GASPS)

551
00:29:44,900 --> 00:29:45,900
(HISSING)

552
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:49,400
Oh, no.

553
00:29:55,500 --> 00:29:57,300
Oh, gosh.

554
00:29:58,100 --> 00:29:59,500
(EXCLAIMING)

555
00:29:59,500 --> 00:30:01,400
Go, go, go! Get out!

556
00:30:04,300 --> 00:30:06,200
(EVAN SCREAMING)

557
00:30:24,100 --> 00:30:25,100
(DONKEY BRAYING)

558
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:27,200
(COWS MOOING)

559
00:30:27,300 --> 00:30:28,700
Okay. No.

560
00:30:28,900 --> 00:30:30,100
(EVAN EXCLAIMING)

561
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:33,500
No. No.

562
00:30:35,300 --> 00:30:38,100
I'm not doing this. It's insane!

563
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:40,300
No!

564
00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:43,000
Enough already!

565
00:30:43,100 --> 00:30:45,500
See, if you had an ark,
you'd have a place to put them all.

566
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:47,400
Why are you doing this? Why me?

567
00:30:47,500 --> 00:30:48,500
(HORSE WHINNYING)

568
00:30:48,500 --> 00:30:49,500
(SHEEP BLEATING)

569
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:53,000
It's not time yet. Go on. Go on.

570
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:54,900
Yeah, go on.

571
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:58,200
So how about it?
Feel like living on the edge?

572
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:06,300
(BIRDS CHIRPING)

573
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:11,600
Beautiful, isn't it?
I remember creating this valley.

574
00:31:12,500 --> 00:31:15,000
Notice how the mountains line up
east to west.

575
00:31:15,100 --> 00:31:17,500
That's so there'd be lots of sunshine.

576
00:31:17,500 --> 00:31:19,000
Where are we?

577
00:31:19,300 --> 00:31:20,400
(CHUCKLING)

578
00:31:20,500 --> 00:31:22,200
Don't recognize it, eh?

579
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:23,400
No.

580
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:27,700
This is where you live, son.
This is Prestige Crest.

581
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:31,500
I wanted you to see the original design.

582
00:31:46,100 --> 00:31:49,700
So, you're really him, aren't you?

583
00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:53,200
You want more proof? I haven't done
the pillar of salt thing in a while.

584
00:31:53,300 --> 00:31:56,900
That's all right. I believe you. I just...
I don't understand why you chose me.

585
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:58,800
You want to change the world, son.

586
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:01,400
So do I.

587
00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:08,400
What? Well, why an ark?
I mean, that's like flood territory.

588
00:32:08,500 --> 00:32:12,800
You wouldn't do that again.
You wouldn't do that. Would you do that?

589
00:32:12,900 --> 00:32:15,600
Let's just say that whatever I do,

590
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:18,300
I do because I love you.

591
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:23,500
Well, then you have to understand
that this whole building-an-ark thing

592
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:25,000
is really not part of my plans here.

593
00:32:25,100 --> 00:32:28,000
I need to settle into my house.
I need to make a good impression at work.

594
00:32:28,100 --> 00:32:29,500
(LAUGHING)

595
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:30,800
What?

596
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:32,400
Your plans. That's just...

597
00:32:35,500 --> 00:32:36,900
What are you talking...

598
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,500
We're talking about an ark, right?
I mean, an ark?

599
00:32:39,500 --> 00:32:43,000
An ark is huge!
I don't even know where I would begin!

600
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:44,900
Well, I hear that a lot.

601
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:48,600
People want to change the world,
don't know how to begin.

602
00:32:52,100 --> 00:32:53,900
You want to know
how to change the world, son?

603
00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:57,800
One act of random kindness at a time.

604
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:07,900
Build the ark.

605
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:11,000
I'll tell you what. You build it, I'll fill it.

606
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:16,500
And if anybody asks,
tell them a flood's coming.

607
00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:21,100
Oh, and you might need this.

608
00:33:24,900 --> 00:33:28,900
Well, okay. Okay, so what do I do?
I grab the wood and...

609
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:30,500
Well, okay.

610
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:33,900
You know, that's just cruel.

611
00:33:35,500 --> 00:33:37,000
Do you see him?

612
00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:39,600
I don't see him.

613
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:44,100
"Building an Ark the Old-Fashioned Way."

614
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:49,700
"God is the creator of
the Heavens and the Earth.

615
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:54,700
"He lives in all things and has over
six billion seven hundred million children."

616
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:04,800
(ALARM RINGING)

617
00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:16,200
(EXCLAIMING)

618
00:34:16,700 --> 00:34:19,400
JOAN: Honey? You okay?
You need something?

619
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:24,700
No, nothing. Just dropped something.

620
00:34:57,800 --> 00:34:59,800
(EXCLAIMING)

621
00:35:00,900 --> 00:35:02,400
Okay. Okay.

622
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:10,800
Yeah.

623
00:35:10,900 --> 00:35:13,900
There we go. Okay.

624
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:20,800
(EXCLAIMS)

625
00:35:20,900 --> 00:35:24,400
Come on. I mean, a beard?
A beard's so dirty.

626
00:35:26,300 --> 00:35:27,300
Gross!

627
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:29,600
JOAN: Packing, so it would really help me
out if you would...

628
00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:30,700
Good morning.

629
00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:31,900
Hey, hey, hey, good morning.

630
00:35:31,900 --> 00:35:32,900
(CHUCKLING)

631
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:34,300
Wow.

632
00:35:34,700 --> 00:35:36,900
What's with the scruffle, mountain man?

633
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:42,300
Oh, well, you know, I figured it was
a weekend, and I thought...

634
00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:43,500
JOAN: What?

635
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:44,600
(MUTTERING)

636
00:35:44,700 --> 00:35:45,900
(BOTH GIGGLING)

637
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:49,300
Honey, did I miss something?
How long have you been growing that?

638
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:50,400
(DOOR BELL RINGING)

639
00:35:50,500 --> 00:35:51,600
I'll get the door!

640
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:54,300
Congratulations!

641
00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:55,700
What are you talking about?

642
00:35:55,700 --> 00:35:58,600
The lots. You bought the lots next door!

643
00:35:58,700 --> 00:36:00,600
Hello!

644
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:02,600
Oh...

645
00:36:06,500 --> 00:36:11,100
And pulling the down payment out of
your home equity? Very gutsy move.

646
00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:13,400
I didn't do that, did I?

647
00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:16,000
You sure did. So what's your plan?
What are you gonna do?

648
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,200
Turn them for a quick profit?
Build them out on spec?

649
00:36:20,100 --> 00:36:23,800
Who wants champagne? Hip, hip hooray!

650
00:36:23,900 --> 00:36:24,900
(EVE WHOOPING)

651
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:28,400
You bought eight lots?

652
00:36:28,500 --> 00:36:30,900
Yup. I was going to surprise you.

653
00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:35,600
"Surprise, surprise, surprise." Gomer Pyle.

654
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:37,600
(LAUGHING)

655
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:40,200
What are you doing?
We can't afford that.

656
00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:42,600
Hey, Mom. John Lennon,
good to see you again.

657
00:36:42,700 --> 00:36:44,300
Good to see you.

658
00:36:44,400 --> 00:36:45,500
(EXHALING)

659
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:49,200
And eight lots? What are you going to
do with eight lots?

660
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:52,900
I don't know.
Maybe I'll build a boat.

661
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:54,800
Did you say "build a boat"?

662
00:36:54,900 --> 00:36:56,700
It might be something fun for the family.

663
00:36:56,800 --> 00:37:00,000
We could take the boat,
go sailing on the lake.

664
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:03,000
It'd be great in case it floods or something.

665
00:37:03,100 --> 00:37:05,100
What is going on with you?

666
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:09,300
You bought all those lots
and you're talking about building a boat.

667
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:11,300
Yeah.
And you grow this crazy beard!

668
00:37:11,300 --> 00:37:12,900
Is this, like, a midlife crisis?

669
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:14,300
It's not that bad!

670
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:15,400
It's not?
No.

671
00:37:15,500 --> 00:37:17,300
Why do you think they call it a crisis?

672
00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:18,600
(KIDS CLAMORING)

673
00:37:18,700 --> 00:37:20,600
Hey, keep it down, you guys! Okay?

674
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:23,800
Oh, my God.

675
00:37:23,900 --> 00:37:25,200
Honey?

676
00:37:25,300 --> 00:37:26,600
Oh, my God.

677
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:29,000
Honey?

678
00:37:29,100 --> 00:37:30,100
(SNIFFLING)

679
00:37:31,100 --> 00:37:33,100
I know this sounds crazy.

680
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:36,600
I really think I need to do this.

681
00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:41,400
Okay.

682
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:43,800
Build your boat.

683
00:37:44,900 --> 00:37:47,300
Just don't take too long, okay?

684
00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:52,600
Because we didn't leave our lives in Buffalo
so you could sail the S.S. Depression.

685
00:37:58,300 --> 00:37:59,300
(THUDDING)

686
00:38:12,100 --> 00:38:13,300
Here we go.

687
00:38:13,500 --> 00:38:17,000
Gentlemen, I'm sure you're all wondering
why I've assembled you here today.

688
00:38:17,100 --> 00:38:19,900
An Argentine lake duck has
a penis as long as its body.

689
00:38:19,900 --> 00:38:21,900
Wow, that's huge. He must be proud.

690
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:26,200
So, I have come up with a little
construction project for us this weekend.

691
00:38:26,300 --> 00:38:27,400
The whole weekend?

692
00:38:27,500 --> 00:38:28,900
The whole weekend. Yes!

693
00:38:29,100 --> 00:38:30,800
And maybe a couple weekends after that.

694
00:38:30,900 --> 00:38:33,100
I can do this. Help!

695
00:38:33,100 --> 00:38:34,300
(GRUNTING)

696
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:37,300
How do I stand up with a piece of wood?
Here we go.

697
00:38:37,700 --> 00:38:38,800
(JUST LIKE NOAH'S ARK PLAYING)

698
00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:40,500
Oh, man. Okay, that's good.

699
00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:41,600
(GROANING)

700
00:38:42,100 --> 00:38:45,800
Mother! Father! Sister! Brother! Wow!

701
00:38:45,900 --> 00:38:47,500
EVAN: Keep it straight.

702
00:38:48,700 --> 00:38:49,700
(GRUNTING)

703
00:38:50,900 --> 00:38:52,600
Hey, Dad, he's back!

704
00:38:52,900 --> 00:38:54,400
Ryan, no, don't do...

705
00:38:54,500 --> 00:38:55,500
Ow!

706
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:59,400
Leverage it up! Leverage. Okay.

707
00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:01,000
Just put some leverage.
You got to put some body weight.

708
00:39:01,100 --> 00:39:03,100
Ready? One, two, three. Come on.

709
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:04,700
(WOOD SNAPPING)

710
00:39:04,900 --> 00:39:05,800
(EXCLAIMING)

711
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:07,100
(THUDDING)

712
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:08,800
Oh, I'm an idiot.

713
00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:12,300
"Nice to meet you, Mr. Congressman.
Why do you have raw beef hands?"

714
00:39:12,300 --> 00:39:14,400
"Well, I'm building an ark."

715
00:39:15,700 --> 00:39:16,800
(GROANING)

716
00:39:16,900 --> 00:39:20,200
I got a boo-boo! I got a boo-boo!
I got a boo-boo!

717
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:30,900
You ever hear of Home Depot?
Here we go! Here we go! Oh, yeah!

718
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:32,600
(SCATTING)

719
00:39:32,900 --> 00:39:33,900
(THUDDING)

720
00:39:34,500 --> 00:39:35,400
(GRUNTING)

721
00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:38,100
(GROANING)

722
00:39:41,100 --> 00:39:45,100
All right. So our little Marlboro Man
moment didn't work out so well.

723
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:48,100
It's a disaster. I don't know
how to build something like this.

724
00:39:48,100 --> 00:39:49,800
That's easy. Just don't.

725
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:51,600
(EXCLAIMING IN PAIN)

726
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:55,200
Wow.

727
00:39:55,300 --> 00:39:56,300
(PHONE RINGING)

728
00:39:56,800 --> 00:39:58,100
Hello.

729
00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:01,300
Yes, Marty. Your fearless leader is right here.

730
00:40:02,500 --> 00:40:03,600
Hey, Marty, what's up?

731
00:40:13,100 --> 00:40:15,700
Yes, I'll tell him. Thank you.

732
00:40:18,900 --> 00:40:21,300
I might need security. Thank you.

733
00:40:23,900 --> 00:40:25,200
Can I help you?

734
00:40:25,500 --> 00:40:26,600
Rita, it's me.

735
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:30,600
Why do you sound like Evan Baxter,
but look like a Bee Gee?

736
00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:32,100
Okay. All right.

737
00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:35,500
Okay, that's great. It's longer.

738
00:40:35,500 --> 00:40:38,400
Oh, my God. It is you.

739
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,100
Evan, what happened?

740
00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:42,300
Did you fall in a mine shaft?

741
00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:43,400
No.

742
00:40:43,500 --> 00:40:44,500
Did you just come out of a coma?

743
00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:45,600
No.

744
00:40:45,700 --> 00:40:47,900
Were you attacked by a werewolf?

745
00:40:47,900 --> 00:40:49,200
No, I wasn't.

746
00:40:49,300 --> 00:40:52,200
Well, if you were going for that rugged look,
you overshot it.

747
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:53,800
You look like a bum in a suit.

748
00:40:53,900 --> 00:40:56,000
You need Super cuts and a shave.

749
00:40:56,100 --> 00:40:57,400
(EXCLAIMING)

750
00:40:57,500 --> 00:40:59,600
Right! Yeah. But I can't. It doesn't work.

751
00:40:59,700 --> 00:41:01,300
What do you mean, it doesn't work?

752
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:02,700
It doesn't work!

753
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:04,500
What? Are you shooting up Rogaine?

754
00:41:04,500 --> 00:41:08,000
Rita, if Evan shows up... I'm sorry, sir.
I'll be with you in just one...

755
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:10,800
Evan?
Take it in. Take it in.

756
00:41:10,900 --> 00:41:12,600
Okay, yeah, to answer any questions
you may have,

757
00:41:12,700 --> 00:41:14,800
I am going through adult puberty!

758
00:41:14,900 --> 00:41:17,300
This is all temporary.
Why did you bring me down here?

759
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:18,500
What was so important?

760
00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:20,300
What is so important?

761
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:23,100
I've got a letter of intent here
about Congressman Long's bill.

762
00:41:23,100 --> 00:41:24,200
You remember that, don't you?

763
00:41:24,300 --> 00:41:27,400
Well, you haven't been here and now
he wants you to sign this in person, Evan!

764
00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:29,700
No, I can't do that. Nope, nope, nope.
Not gonna happen.

765
00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:32,600
No. You can't do that.
Not looking like that. You have to go shave!

766
00:41:32,700 --> 00:41:35,000
I can't shave, Marty.
When I shave, it grows back out.

767
00:41:35,100 --> 00:41:38,000
That happens when you shave!
But then you shave again!

768
00:41:38,100 --> 00:41:39,600
You have no idea.

769
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:42,600
Evan, what is going on?

770
00:41:42,700 --> 00:41:43,900
I'm...

771
00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:50,200
Building something.

772
00:41:51,700 --> 00:41:53,400
MARTY: You're building something?

773
00:41:53,500 --> 00:41:55,200
Well, I hope it's a barber shop.

774
00:41:55,300 --> 00:41:58,200
Guys, I can't let Long see me
this way, okay?

775
00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:01,400
You're gonna have to tell him I'm sick.
Just cover for me. Just help me out!

776
00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:03,400
(DOOR CLOSING)

777
00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:07,600
Come on, Evan, be reasonable.
You got to get rid of that beard.

778
00:42:07,700 --> 00:42:09,600
I need your face back. I need you back.

779
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:11,300
Can you at least tell me
what you're building?

780
00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:13,500
I'm building a boat.
You're building a boat?

781
00:42:13,500 --> 00:42:16,200
Look, you got to cover for me.
I don't want anybody to see...

782
00:42:16,300 --> 00:42:18,500
Congressman! There you are!

783
00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:20,600
Congressman Long, I, I, I, I...

784
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:23,600
Stop stammering, son.
We all play hooky from time to time.

785
00:42:23,700 --> 00:42:27,500
I'm not gonna turn you in to the principal.
Mostly because I am the principal.

786
00:42:27,500 --> 00:42:28,900
(LAUGHING)

787
00:42:28,900 --> 00:42:30,000
Very good.

788
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,500
What's with the veil?
Did you get your new set of braces?

789
00:42:32,500 --> 00:42:36,000
No, no. No. That's hilarious, though.

790
00:42:36,100 --> 00:42:38,900
Would you drop that thing, son?
I can't understand a word you're saying.

791
00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:50,100
It's a wife thing, sir.

792
00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:51,900
Just trying to spice up the love life.

793
00:42:52,900 --> 00:42:55,300
She's a big Loggins and Messina fan.

794
00:42:55,300 --> 00:42:57,700
Keeping it fresh. Keeping it real.

795
00:42:57,700 --> 00:43:00,400
Would you excuse us for a moment?

796
00:43:00,500 --> 00:43:02,900
The Congressman and I are going to
have a little chat.

797
00:43:06,900 --> 00:43:08,000
Come on.

798
00:43:08,100 --> 00:43:10,300
Nice, isn't it? Politics is dog-eat-dog,

799
00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:13,000
but if you survive, they give you
a bigger den. Have a seat.

800
00:43:13,100 --> 00:43:17,100
So, tell me, Congressman,
are you freaking out on me or what?

801
00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:18,200
No, sir.

802
00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:21,500
Oh, come on, son. I hand you
your first cosponsor ship of a bill,

803
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:23,900
and when you finally show up
you look like the fifth Beatle.

804
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:26,300
Now, you expect me to believe
everything is hunky dory?

805
00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:29,200
Well, sir, actually, things have been
a little more dory.

806
00:43:29,300 --> 00:43:33,400
Of course they are. I get it.
You know anything about animals, son?

807
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:37,600
The Argentine lake duck has a penis
as long as its body.

808
00:43:39,700 --> 00:43:43,600
Although you probably already know that.
Or have heard it. Not experienced it.

809
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:45,800
You ever heard of the Arctic white wolf?

810
00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:46,900
No, sir.

811
00:43:46,900 --> 00:43:48,000
Top of the food chain.

812
00:43:48,100 --> 00:43:50,800
It's fast, it's smart, can fend for itself,
but it chooses not to.

813
00:43:50,900 --> 00:43:52,400
It chooses to run with a pack.

814
00:43:52,500 --> 00:43:53,600
And do you know why?

815
00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:54,600
No.

816
00:43:54,700 --> 00:43:57,200
The Arctic white wolf,
Congressman, realizes

817
00:43:57,300 --> 00:43:59,000
that it is stronger as part of a group.

818
00:43:59,100 --> 00:44:02,100
Do you know what happens when one of
these wolves decides to fend for itself?

819
00:44:02,100 --> 00:44:04,900
The pack kills the loner
for the greater good of the community.

820
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:06,700
Ouch, that hurts.

821
00:44:06,700 --> 00:44:10,000
Are you familiar with Jim Jenkins,
the junior congressman from Tennessee?

822
00:44:10,100 --> 00:44:13,500
When I met Congressman Jenkins,
he was fresh off the turnip truck,

823
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:15,700
but now he's sitting on his own committee.

824
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:18,900
Congressman Jenkins, Congressman
Whitehall, Congressman Freeman,

825
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:22,700
they all have committee chairs
because they all run with the pack.

826
00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:24,900
Now, you have to come to a decision.

827
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:27,200
Are you gonna run with the pack
or are you gonna lone wolf it?

828
00:44:27,300 --> 00:44:29,400
I am a pack man, sir.

829
00:44:29,500 --> 00:44:33,600
Good. I'm introducing the CINPLAN bill
in 2 weeks. C-SPAN is covering it live.

830
00:44:33,700 --> 00:44:35,800
I want your full support and nothing else.

831
00:44:35,900 --> 00:44:37,000
Yes, sir.

832
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:40,200
Those fish are on you like bait on a hook.

833
00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:43,800
Birds follow you.

834
00:44:44,700 --> 00:44:46,400
Fish follow you.

835
00:44:50,100 --> 00:44:53,300
Let's see if we can get
some congressmen to follow you.

836
00:44:53,300 --> 00:44:55,400
Let's get this bill passed,
shall we, Congressman?

837
00:44:55,500 --> 00:44:56,600
Yes, sir.

838
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:00,400
Hey, fleabag, out of the way.

839
00:45:00,500 --> 00:45:02,500
Hey, Dad, I think there are more
animals than yesterday.

840
00:45:02,500 --> 00:45:04,700
Well, let's not keep
our audience waiting, shall we?

841
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:06,400
(MOOING)

842
00:45:06,500 --> 00:45:07,800
(SNORTING)

843
00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:12,100
Up, up. Push it up. Push it.
We got it. We got it. Oh, yeah, yeah.

844
00:45:12,900 --> 00:45:15,600
Come on. Just let it go, just let it go.

845
00:45:19,100 --> 00:45:21,500
Dad, we can do this,
but we're gonna need some help.

846
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:24,800
I know. We just need something
to lift those beams.

847
00:45:24,900 --> 00:45:25,900
(SIGHING)

848
00:45:27,100 --> 00:45:28,600
Like that?

849
00:45:28,700 --> 00:45:30,300
RYAN: Holy moly!

850
00:45:30,300 --> 00:45:31,300
(RYAN CHUCKLING)

851
00:45:31,500 --> 00:45:34,000
RYAN: This is so totally awesome!

852
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:35,600
JORDAN: This is perfect.

853
00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:37,100
DYLAN: Dad, there's a note.

854
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:45,000
Let me see that.

855
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:49,200
How does it work?

856
00:45:56,800 --> 00:45:58,700
RYAN: Dad, this is really weird.

857
00:45:58,700 --> 00:46:01,000
Repeat after me, "We are hamsters!"

858
00:46:01,100 --> 00:46:02,700
BOTH: We are hamsters!

859
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:04,400
Leg power!

860
00:46:04,500 --> 00:46:06,000
BOTH: Leg power!

861
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:07,800
And it's in!

862
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:08,800
(WHOOPING)

863
00:46:08,900 --> 00:46:10,000
That's it.

864
00:46:10,300 --> 00:46:12,000
(REVOLUTION PLAYING)

865
00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:15,200
Hey, who has opposable thumbs? Anybody?

866
00:46:19,900 --> 00:46:23,000
You want to try this one?
Make sure it's straight.

867
00:46:23,100 --> 00:46:24,700
RYAN: This is awesome!
JORDAN: This is so cool.

868
00:46:24,700 --> 00:46:26,700
EVAN: Here we go.
RYAN: Oh, my God!

869
00:46:27,100 --> 00:46:30,400
Yeah. Gotta do the dance.
Come on, let's do the dance.

870
00:46:31,700 --> 00:46:33,600
We're doing the dance.
JORDAN: Dylan, come on. Do the dance.

871
00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:35,400
EVAN: Come on, do the dance.
DYLAN: I'm not doing the dance.

872
00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:37,800
(EXCLAIMS)

873
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:39,000
Ow!

874
00:46:39,100 --> 00:46:40,100
(CHATTERING)

875
00:46:40,500 --> 00:46:41,600
Don't scratch!

876
00:46:41,700 --> 00:46:42,700
Stop it. Come here.

877
00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:46,300
EVAN: Insult to injury! My!

878
00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:47,400
Good boy.

879
00:46:47,500 --> 00:46:48,500
Okay, guys. A little bit more.

880
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:51,500
Here we go. I got it. Keep it... That's it!

881
00:46:52,600 --> 00:46:53,800
Beautiful!

882
00:46:53,900 --> 00:46:54,900
(DOG BARKING)

883
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:56,900
(BIRDS CHIRPING)

884
00:46:58,900 --> 00:47:00,000
EVAN: You guys all right?

885
00:47:00,100 --> 00:47:01,300
BOYS: Yup.

886
00:47:15,700 --> 00:47:17,200
(READING)

887
00:47:18,900 --> 00:47:19,900
"G."

888
00:47:32,700 --> 00:47:34,100
(EVAN MUMBLING)

889
00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:36,700
Mmm, mmm, mmm.

890
00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:42,200
Well, I hope this isn't our last supper.

891
00:47:42,300 --> 00:47:44,800
(CHUCKLING)
MAN ON TV:
There's no sign of our heat wave breaking,

892
00:47:44,900 --> 00:47:47,100
so this dry, hot weather will continue.

893
00:47:47,100 --> 00:47:50,100
GOD: Until September 22, midday.

894
00:47:50,200 --> 00:47:53,300
If the ark isn't finished by then, you will be.

895
00:47:53,700 --> 00:47:57,000
Is that when it's going to happen?
September 22, midday?

896
00:47:57,100 --> 00:47:59,400
MAN OVER TV: High temperatures tomorrow
back into the 90s everywhere,

897
00:47:59,500 --> 00:48:00,700
right on through Tuesday

898
00:48:00,700 --> 00:48:04,200
and the next seven days,
no showers, no storms.

899
00:48:04,300 --> 00:48:08,500
That would be a good day to have chicken.
How about Mom's chicken? Huh?

900
00:48:08,600 --> 00:48:11,000
Hon, could we have some more chicken
September 22, midday?

901
00:48:12,900 --> 00:48:16,300
Boys, will you excuse us, please?
Your father and I need to have a little talk.

902
00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:17,900
Busted.

903
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:19,200
RYAN: Dad, you're busted.

904
00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:20,400
Yeah, I know.

905
00:48:22,300 --> 00:48:23,700
What are you doing?

906
00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:25,000
Do we have anything unleavened?

907
00:48:25,100 --> 00:48:28,600
Yeah, we do, it's in the back,
next to the frankincense and myrrh.

908
00:48:28,700 --> 00:48:31,900
We have a fancy name for it in this century,
it's called pita.

909
00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:33,800
Got it.

910
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:35,800
Evan, what is happening to you?

911
00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:40,200
Don't! No! Just put it down! Look at you.

912
00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:45,600
The hair. Are you on something?
Is it a mega-growth hormone? What?

913
00:48:47,200 --> 00:48:48,900
Evan, talk to me.

914
00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:53,000
(SIGHING)

915
00:48:57,300 --> 00:48:59,100
I'm building an ark.

916
00:49:00,900 --> 00:49:02,700
What does that mean?

917
00:49:04,100 --> 00:49:08,100
God appeared to me
and told me to build an ark.

918
00:49:08,200 --> 00:49:12,100
He said there was going to be a flood
and that I should be prepared.

919
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:14,700
Whenever I shave,
my beard grows right back out.

920
00:49:14,700 --> 00:49:19,800
My hair grows longer every day.
This robe... God sent me the robe.

921
00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:21,200
He thought it would be funny.

922
00:49:22,200 --> 00:49:27,000
I actually think it's really comfortable.
That's why I'm wearing it.

923
00:49:28,700 --> 00:49:31,200
The beard, the robe.

924
00:49:32,300 --> 00:49:33,800
You're Noah?

925
00:49:35,300 --> 00:49:36,900
Yeah, kind of.

926
00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:38,000
Mom!

927
00:49:38,100 --> 00:49:39,400
Not now, Noah!

928
00:49:41,100 --> 00:49:42,200
Dylan.

929
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:43,300
Okay.

930
00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:50,300
We left everything behind to come here.

931
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:54,100
Maybe that's put too much pressure on you.
I don't know.

932
00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:58,700
But this has got to stop.
Please. You're scaring me.

933
00:49:58,800 --> 00:50:03,400
The boys need their father back,
and I need my husband back.

934
00:50:09,100 --> 00:50:10,100
(SIGHING)

935
00:50:13,100 --> 00:50:14,500
(SHARP DRESSED MAN PLAYING)

936
00:50:20,700 --> 00:50:23,600
Yes. Successful. Powerful.
Handsome. Happy.

937
00:50:23,700 --> 00:50:26,500
Successful. Powerful. Handsome. Happy.

938
00:50:36,100 --> 00:50:37,600
Good morning!

939
00:50:42,500 --> 00:50:43,500
Cold today, huh?

940
00:50:43,900 --> 00:50:44,900
Hmm?

941
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:48,300
(EXCLAIMS)

942
00:50:55,500 --> 00:50:56,800
"Back to work"?

943
00:51:00,300 --> 00:51:06,000
Okay. All right. You want me
to wear the robe? I'll wear the robe.

944
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:10,300
Two can play this game.

945
00:51:18,100 --> 00:51:19,300
Ha, ha, ha!

946
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:23,000
Piece de resistance.

947
00:51:24,900 --> 00:51:27,000
The student has become the teacher.

948
00:51:30,500 --> 00:51:31,800
(HAMMER BANGING)

949
00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:33,300
This meeting will come to order.

950
00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:34,600
Rita, any sign of him?

951
00:51:34,700 --> 00:51:37,000
Marty, I told you,
I will let you know as soon as...

952
00:51:37,100 --> 00:51:40,400
You know what? You got me. He's here.
We're in the middle of a yoga class.

953
00:51:40,400 --> 00:51:42,300
Rita, this is no time for jokes.
I'm not kidding.

954
00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:44,700
If he's not in that meeting,
we're all out of a job.

955
00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:47,000
Wait a minute.
Let me finish my sun salutation.

956
00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:54,700
Marty! Sorry I'm late. Come on, let's go.

957
00:51:55,700 --> 00:51:57,900
What is that?

958
00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:01,600
Making lemonade out of lemons.
Pick up your phone! Come on!

959
00:52:01,700 --> 00:52:05,000
LONG: At its heart,
this bill gives private citizens access

960
00:52:05,100 --> 00:52:07,100
to lands they technically already own.

961
00:52:07,200 --> 00:52:08,800
CONGRESSPERSON:
Will the Chairman yield?

962
00:52:08,900 --> 00:52:09,900
Oh, look, there he is.

963
00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:11,200
Yup, yup, I see him.

964
00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:15,200
Access is just a word you're using
to hide what's really going on here.

965
00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:17,800
This is about development,
short and simple.

966
00:52:17,900 --> 00:52:23,000
Evan, what are you doing?
You have a pony tail on your face!

967
00:52:23,100 --> 00:52:25,500
What you gonna do next?
Cornrow your eyebrows?

968
00:52:25,500 --> 00:52:28,200
Development means
the advancement of jobs,

969
00:52:28,300 --> 00:52:31,900
an increase in domestic commerce.
If you happen to like those things,

970
00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:36,300
I invite you to join myself and
my cosponsors, Congressman Dodd,

971
00:52:38,500 --> 00:52:40,500
Congressman Hughes

972
00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:43,500
and Congressman Baxter.

973
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:47,400
(PEOPLE GASPING)

974
00:52:47,900 --> 00:52:49,400
(ALL MURMURING)

975
00:52:56,400 --> 00:52:57,400
(GASPING)

976
00:53:02,200 --> 00:53:03,900
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)

977
00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:06,800
Did you just do a wardrobe change?

978
00:53:06,900 --> 00:53:09,900
What do you think this is, the Oscars?
You are not Whoopi.

979
00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:11,000
(HAMMER SLAMMING)

980
00:53:11,100 --> 00:53:13,500
LONG: Ladies and gentlemen! Please!

981
00:53:13,600 --> 00:53:14,600
(HAMMER SLAMMING)

982
00:53:14,700 --> 00:53:18,700
Please! Congressman Baxter has a tendency
to embrace the theatrical

983
00:53:18,800 --> 00:53:21,500
in his support of this bill.
Congressman, let me warn you,

984
00:53:21,500 --> 00:53:25,100
you are approximately 10 seconds away
from committee censure.

985
00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:28,400
Oh, no. Hey, would anyone mind
if I close the window?

986
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:38,300
(WOMAN SCREAMING)

987
00:53:40,700 --> 00:53:41,700
(ROARING)

988
00:53:42,500 --> 00:53:44,100
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

989
00:53:44,100 --> 00:53:45,200
(GROWLING)

990
00:53:56,300 --> 00:53:57,800
(HAMMER SLAMMING)

991
00:53:57,900 --> 00:54:01,700
LONG: Ladies and gentlemen! Please!
These animals are trained!

992
00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:04,000
I've seen this circus act before!

993
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:07,000
Congressman, I'm sure St. Francis
would be envious.

994
00:54:07,100 --> 00:54:10,700
We, however, are not.
You have five seconds.

995
00:54:10,700 --> 00:54:13,600
You march yourself and your
little animal troupe out of here now

996
00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:15,500
or you will be forcibly removed.

997
00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:17,500
I'm afraid I can't do that, sir.

998
00:54:17,600 --> 00:54:19,000
Congressman!

999
00:54:19,100 --> 00:54:21,300
These animals are not trained.

1000
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:22,700
Congressman!

1001
00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:25,100
I think they want me to save them!

1002
00:54:25,100 --> 00:54:27,700
Save them from what, Congressman?

1003
00:54:27,900 --> 00:54:31,200
Saving the animals, okay.
I can roll with that. That's a good idea.

1004
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:40,000
The flood.

1005
00:54:40,400 --> 00:54:42,900
A flood? Rolling out.

1006
00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:44,700
CONGRESSPERSON: The flood.

1007
00:54:44,800 --> 00:54:46,900
This has been the hottest,
driest summer on record

1008
00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:48,700
and you say we're going to have a flood?

1009
00:54:48,700 --> 00:54:50,000
When might we expect this?

1010
00:54:50,100 --> 00:54:52,200
September 22, midday.

1011
00:54:52,300 --> 00:54:53,300
(CROWD CHATTERING)

1012
00:54:56,100 --> 00:54:57,600
That's what I was told.

1013
00:54:57,700 --> 00:54:59,700
Might I ask who told you?

1014
00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:10,400
Not in front of all those people.
Don't say it. Don't say it.

1015
00:55:15,500 --> 00:55:16,800
God.

1016
00:55:17,500 --> 00:55:18,500
(SOBBING)

1017
00:55:21,600 --> 00:55:24,400
God? You talk to God?

1018
00:55:25,100 --> 00:55:26,300
Yes.

1019
00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:27,600
LONG: And God is talking back?

1020
00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:31,400
Yeah. We hung out a little.

1021
00:55:31,500 --> 00:55:33,800
Well, time to update the resume.

1022
00:55:33,800 --> 00:55:36,200
Congressman, your name is being
removed from this bill.

1023
00:55:36,300 --> 00:55:39,800
Obviously, the stresses of this office
have proven too much for you.

1024
00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:41,200
Please have the congressman removed.

1025
00:55:41,300 --> 00:55:43,100
No. Please! You don't understand!

1026
00:55:43,200 --> 00:55:46,000
God commanded me to build an ark!

1027
00:55:46,100 --> 00:55:48,700
It's going to rain!
There's going to be a flood!

1028
00:55:50,100 --> 00:55:51,600
Remove him now!

1029
00:55:51,700 --> 00:55:54,100
We have to prepare ourselves!

1030
00:55:54,200 --> 00:55:56,900
I need to finish the ark!

1031
00:55:56,900 --> 00:55:58,000
(HAMMER SLAMMING)

1032
00:55:58,100 --> 00:55:59,700
Remove him now!

1033
00:56:06,700 --> 00:56:08,600
Does this mean we're moving back home?

1034
00:56:09,600 --> 00:56:12,300
Home, Canada. One or the other.

1035
00:56:22,800 --> 00:56:27,700
Joan? I know you probably saw
what happened, but I can explain.

1036
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:34,600
Take the stuff to the car, guys.
I'll be there in a minute.

1037
00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:38,700
Guys?

1038
00:56:40,400 --> 00:56:41,400
(DOOR OPENING)

1039
00:56:42,300 --> 00:56:47,400
I'm gonna take them to my mother's.
Evan, I think you need help.

1040
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:52,800
Joan, please. I'm not doing this.
It's not me. It's him.

1041
00:56:52,800 --> 00:56:56,200
I went to that meeting in a suit,
and he took it off of me.

1042
00:56:56,200 --> 00:57:00,000
Those animals are following me
because of him.

1043
00:57:00,100 --> 00:57:03,700
God? Does God know
he's destroying our lives?

1044
00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:06,300
Does God know he's going to get you fired?

1045
00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:08,200
Yeah! He's trying to get me fired!

1046
00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:12,100
He is trying to get me fired!

1047
00:57:12,200 --> 00:57:14,400
That way I'll have more time
to work on the ark!

1048
00:57:14,400 --> 00:57:16,900
Because the rain and the floods are coming.

1049
00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:20,500
No, I heard you, Evan.
The whole world heard you.

1050
00:57:20,500 --> 00:57:23,200
Joan, please, you gotta believe me.

1051
00:57:23,300 --> 00:57:24,400
(DRIZZLING)

1052
00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:30,400
There it is! It's happening!
It's happening! It's raining!

1053
00:57:47,900 --> 00:57:49,100
Goodbye, Evan.

1054
00:57:51,100 --> 00:57:52,000
(ENGINE STARTING)

1055
00:57:52,800 --> 00:57:53,900
Joan!

1056
00:58:02,700 --> 00:58:07,200
I know! I know. Whatever you do,
you do because you love me!

1057
00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:17,800
Do me a favor. Love me less.

1058
00:58:19,200 --> 00:58:20,300
REPORTER: Congressman!

1059
00:58:20,300 --> 00:58:23,300
WOMAN: Are you concerned at all
about Congressman Baxter's tirade

1060
00:58:23,400 --> 00:58:25,000
and the adverse effects
it may have on your bill?

1061
00:58:25,100 --> 00:58:28,900
The day it rains and floods and
Congressman Baxter takes a ride on his ark,

1062
00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:31,000
that'll be the day
I'll be concerned. Thank you.

1063
00:58:31,100 --> 00:58:33,500
(WAITING ON THE WORLD
TO CHANGE PLAYING)

1064
00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:36,000
(BLEATING)

1065
00:58:36,100 --> 00:58:40,400
His name is Evan Baxter,
but now he goes by "New York's Noah,"

1066
00:58:40,500 --> 00:58:44,200
"Heaven's Evan,"
"The Weirdo with a Beardo."

1067
00:58:49,100 --> 00:58:52,800
Okay, guys. Watch it. Watch it.
Coming through. Watch your back.

1068
00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:58,100
Marty, will you comment on Congressman
Baxter's change of appearance?

1069
00:58:58,400 --> 00:59:02,300
Yes, his hair is long.
Yes, his beard is unshaven.

1070
00:59:02,400 --> 00:59:04,600
Are you equally stunned
by this man's appearance?

1071
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:12,200
The way things go around here,

1072
00:59:12,200 --> 00:59:15,000
if he gets any crazier,
we may end up in the White House.

1073
00:59:15,400 --> 00:59:20,900
(REPORTER SPEAKING SPANISH)

1074
00:59:21,300 --> 00:59:24,000
Hey! No, no, no! That's my cup!

1075
00:59:25,600 --> 00:59:26,900
Whatever.

1076
00:59:47,700 --> 00:59:51,200
He's filling the boat with
two of every kind of animal.

1077
00:59:51,300 --> 00:59:54,700
Still to be collected,
two giraffes, two elephants

1078
00:59:55,700 --> 00:59:57,300
and one more jackass.

1079
01:00:00,600 --> 01:00:01,700
What an idiot.

1080
01:00:01,700 --> 01:00:03,200
He's a mook.

1081
01:00:03,300 --> 01:00:04,500
Jerks.

1082
01:00:05,500 --> 01:00:08,100
Don't worry about it, you guys.
Come on, eat up.

1083
01:00:08,200 --> 01:00:09,200
Not hungry.

1084
01:00:09,300 --> 01:00:10,400
Yeah, me neither.

1085
01:00:10,500 --> 01:00:12,800
You guys can't eat. I can't stop.

1086
01:00:12,900 --> 01:00:14,800
Can I go to the bathroom?
Me, too?

1087
01:00:14,900 --> 01:00:17,500
Okay. Dylan, go with them. Please?

1088
01:00:17,600 --> 01:00:18,800
Fine.

1089
01:00:21,500 --> 01:00:23,500
Excuse me. Can I get a refill, please?

1090
01:00:24,200 --> 01:00:25,300
Coming right up.

1091
01:00:26,200 --> 01:00:27,200
Thank you.

1092
01:00:27,300 --> 01:00:29,000
Excuse me. Are you all right?

1093
01:00:29,900 --> 01:00:30,900
Yeah.

1094
01:00:32,700 --> 01:00:35,000
No. It's a long story.

1095
01:00:35,100 --> 01:00:36,200
Well, I like stories.

1096
01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:40,000
I'm considered a bit of a storyteller myself.

1097
01:00:41,100 --> 01:00:43,700
My husband...
Have you heard of "New York's Noah"?

1098
01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:47,500
The guy who's building the ark.

1099
01:00:47,600 --> 01:00:48,900
That's him.

1100
01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:52,100
I love that story, Noah and the Ark.

1101
01:00:52,200 --> 01:00:53,800
You know, a lot of people miss
the point of that story.

1102
01:00:53,900 --> 01:00:55,900
They think it's about God's wrath and anger.

1103
01:00:56,800 --> 01:00:58,600
They love it when God gets angry.

1104
01:00:58,600 --> 01:01:01,100
What is the story about, then? The ark?

1105
01:01:01,200 --> 01:01:06,600
Well, I think it's a love story
about believing in each other.

1106
01:01:06,600 --> 01:01:12,300
You know, the animals showed up in pairs.
They stood by each other, side by side,

1107
01:01:12,400 --> 01:01:16,700
just like Noah and his family.
Everybody entered the ark side by side.

1108
01:01:17,800 --> 01:01:20,700
But my husband says God told him to do it.

1109
01:01:22,500 --> 01:01:24,100
What do you do with that?

1110
01:01:24,200 --> 01:01:26,000
Sounds like an opportunity.

1111
01:01:29,000 --> 01:01:30,300
Let me ask you something.

1112
01:01:31,300 --> 01:01:34,500
If someone prays for patience,
you think God gives them patience?

1113
01:01:35,100 --> 01:01:38,400
Or does he give them
the opportunity to be patient?

1114
01:01:40,100 --> 01:01:42,200
If they pray for courage,
does God give them courage,

1115
01:01:42,200 --> 01:01:44,900
or does he give them opportunities
to be courageous?

1116
01:01:47,100 --> 01:01:49,500
If someone prayed
for their family to be closer,

1117
01:01:50,700 --> 01:01:53,600
you think God zaps them
with warm, fuzzy feelings?

1118
01:01:54,500 --> 01:01:56,900
Or does he give them opportunities
to love each other?

1119
01:01:58,800 --> 01:02:00,000
(GASPS QUIETLY)

1120
01:02:00,100 --> 01:02:04,200
Well, I got to run.
A lot of people to serve. Enjoy.

1121
01:02:11,200 --> 01:02:14,200
JON: Guess this comes as no surprise to
those who remember his campaign promise,

1122
01:02:14,300 --> 01:02:16,100
"I will lower taxes,

1123
01:02:16,500 --> 01:02:18,700
"go crazy and build a gigantic ark."

1124
01:02:18,800 --> 01:02:19,600
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)

1125
01:02:26,800 --> 01:02:28,800
JOAN: Oh, my gosh.

1126
01:02:33,400 --> 01:02:34,400
JOAN: Evan!

1127
01:02:34,500 --> 01:02:35,600
Dad?

1128
01:02:35,700 --> 01:02:36,800
Honey!

1129
01:02:36,900 --> 01:02:37,900
Dad?

1130
01:02:37,900 --> 01:02:39,700
You guys, I'm up here.

1131
01:02:55,400 --> 01:02:56,400
(LAUGHING)

1132
01:02:56,900 --> 01:02:58,900
Rough week?
JORDAN: You look really funny.

1133
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:00,200
You look really old.

1134
01:03:00,300 --> 01:03:01,800
Yeah, well, he is really old.

1135
01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:05,200
Why'd you come back?

1136
01:03:05,300 --> 01:03:06,400
It was the kids.

1137
01:03:06,500 --> 01:03:07,600
Tell him, guys.

1138
01:03:07,700 --> 01:03:09,700
We like you better as the crazy guy.

1139
01:03:09,700 --> 01:03:12,100
You spend time with us
and you're home a lot more.

1140
01:03:12,200 --> 01:03:14,800
Just, please don't make us do
the dance anymore.

1142
01:03:36,400 --> 01:03:40,900
I don't know what's going on,
or what you're going through,

1143
01:03:41,600 --> 01:03:43,400
but we got into this as a family

1144
01:03:44,600 --> 01:03:47,300
and we're gonna get out of it as a family,

1145
01:03:48,200 --> 01:03:49,800
side by side.

1146
01:03:57,300 --> 01:04:00,700
But, Evan, we have to talk about the ark.
It has to come down.

1147
01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:02,100
I can't do that.

1148
01:04:02,200 --> 01:04:03,600
You don't have a choice.

1149
01:04:04,000 --> 01:04:07,600
JOAN: Congressman Long went to the city.
There's a laundry list of code violations.

1150
01:04:07,600 --> 01:04:10,100
You have until September 22
to take it down,

1151
01:04:10,100 --> 01:04:12,000
or they'll take it down and arrest you.

1152
01:04:12,100 --> 01:04:14,100
September 22. That's the day of the flood.

1153
01:04:14,200 --> 01:04:15,700
Mom! Dad! Come here!

1154
01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:24,300
(ANIMALS CALLING)

1155
01:04:40,800 --> 01:04:43,200
Don't you dare take that ark down.

1156
01:04:45,800 --> 01:04:47,700
How are we gonna do this?

1157
01:04:47,800 --> 01:04:50,000
There's no way the five
of us can finish on time.

1158
01:04:50,100 --> 01:04:52,200
We don't have money to hire anybody else.

1159
01:04:52,200 --> 01:04:53,500
(ALPACA CRYING)

1160
01:04:57,300 --> 01:04:59,200
Is that a llama with a hammer?

1161
01:04:59,300 --> 01:05:02,800
An alpaca. They rarely spit at people
unless frightened or abused.

1162
01:05:05,300 --> 01:05:06,500
Let's finish this sucker.

1163
01:05:08,600 --> 01:05:09,600
(READY FOR A MIRACLE PLAYING)

1164
01:05:10,700 --> 01:05:11,700
(ELEPHANT TRUMPETING)

1165
01:05:11,800 --> 01:05:13,000
Come on, let's go.

1166
01:05:13,000 --> 01:05:14,400
WOMAN: No one knows
where they came from

1167
01:05:14,500 --> 01:05:16,300
or how the congressman
is getting them to do it,

1168
01:05:16,400 --> 01:05:22,300
but, two by two, animals of all kinds
are working with Godspeed to build this ark.

1169
01:05:22,400 --> 01:05:23,900
Thank you.

1170
01:05:24,000 --> 01:05:27,200
If this flood really does happen,
"Evan help us."

1171
01:05:28,800 --> 01:05:30,300
Hey! A little help?

1172
01:05:34,300 --> 01:05:35,300
Thanks.

1173
01:05:36,700 --> 01:05:37,800
JOAN: Here it is, hon.

1174
01:05:38,100 --> 01:05:39,000
(MONKEY GIBBERING)

1175
01:05:39,100 --> 01:05:41,800
Perfect. Thanks.

1176
01:05:45,800 --> 01:05:47,300
Hold it right there.

1177
01:05:47,400 --> 01:05:51,000
This is Ed Carson coming to you
live from New York Noah's construction site,

1178
01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:56,100
where we are unable to leave the news van
due to hazardous conditions outside.

1179
01:05:59,300 --> 01:06:00,300
High five.
High five.

1180
01:06:00,300 --> 01:06:01,300
Good job.

1181
01:06:02,000 --> 01:06:03,700
Hey, putty tat.

1182
01:06:06,000 --> 01:06:07,700
(SHRIEKING)

1183
01:06:07,700 --> 01:06:10,600
Go, go, go! He tried to eat me!

1184
01:06:10,900 --> 01:06:13,600
Dylan! Jordan! Check it out!
Your mom's building an ark!

1185
01:06:13,700 --> 01:06:15,000
Let's do the dance.

1186
01:06:15,100 --> 01:06:17,100
JOAN: No, please, No.

1187
01:06:18,700 --> 01:06:19,700
(HONKING)

1188
01:06:19,800 --> 01:06:21,700
WOMAN 1: Well, where did
the animals come from, then?

1189
01:06:21,800 --> 01:06:22,900
WOMAN 2: Please. It's a trick.

1190
01:06:23,000 --> 01:06:24,400
WOMAN 3: It's a circus is what it is.

1191
01:06:24,500 --> 01:06:27,600
Wild animals running amok
in suburban Virginia.

1192
01:06:27,600 --> 01:06:31,300
With all these species,
what's being done about the feces?

1193
01:06:37,400 --> 01:06:42,700
Evan Baxter! You have gone from newsman
to congressman to caveman.

1194
01:06:42,800 --> 01:06:45,300
What makes you so sure God chose you?

1195
01:06:46,600 --> 01:06:48,300
He chose all of us.

1196
01:06:57,700 --> 01:06:59,600
Time to wash up, you guys.

1197
01:07:06,200 --> 01:07:07,400
Thanks.

1198
01:07:10,800 --> 01:07:12,300
You want some?

1199
01:07:32,600 --> 01:07:35,700
RITA: Why couldn't the man
just buy a Corvette?

1200
01:07:35,800 --> 01:07:40,000
Well, well, well. There they are.
It is good to see you guys.

1201
01:07:40,100 --> 01:07:45,100
It's good to see you! Your hair looks great.
It's very regal. Man, I love your hair!

1202
01:07:45,200 --> 01:07:46,600
And you're still sucking up.

1203
01:07:46,700 --> 01:07:47,700
So, why are you here?

1204
01:07:47,800 --> 01:07:48,900
Long locked us out.

1205
01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:50,000
He can't do that.

1206
01:07:50,100 --> 01:07:52,300
I mean, I've been suspended,
but I'm still a congressman.

1207
01:07:52,400 --> 01:07:53,500
Rita, tell him what you know.

1208
01:07:53,600 --> 01:07:54,600
Tell me what?

1209
01:07:54,700 --> 01:07:57,500
I smelled a rat the second 
we got that office.

1210
01:07:57,600 --> 01:07:59,600
You don't get an office
like that for nothing.

1211
01:07:59,700 --> 01:08:02,900
So I had the stalker here 
do some research.

1212
01:08:02,900 --> 01:08:04,100
Okay, Eugene, talk.

1213
01:08:04,500 --> 01:08:06,300
Prestige Crest used to be federal lands,

1214
01:08:06,400 --> 01:08:09,300
but what's interesting is
how it got into private hands.

1215
01:08:09,300 --> 01:08:11,700
Congressman Long got the approval
to build a dam

1216
01:08:11,800 --> 01:08:14,700
and then passed out the surrounding lands
to a group of private investors.

1217
01:08:14,800 --> 01:08:16,100
Now, the locals fought this thing for years.

1218
01:08:16,200 --> 01:08:18,400
They said Long and his developer buddies
were cutting corners,

1219
01:08:18,500 --> 01:08:20,800
like skipping important
building code checkpoints.

1220
01:08:20,800 --> 01:08:23,900
And with the land use bill, he's gonna do
the same thing with the national parks.

1221
01:08:24,000 --> 01:08:27,700
So, you stand by and shake your pom-poms
while Long and his buddies get rich.

1222
01:08:27,800 --> 01:08:29,900
What can we do? I'm suspended.

1223
01:08:30,000 --> 01:08:33,400
Go back to the Hill and show them
that you can and will fight this bill.

1224
01:08:33,500 --> 01:08:36,500
You guys, I'm sorry. I can't do that.
I have to get back to the ark.

1225
01:08:36,500 --> 01:08:38,200
The ark? All right. Okay.

1226
01:08:38,300 --> 01:08:40,200
God told you to build an ark?
Yes.

1227
01:08:40,300 --> 01:08:43,300
But did he tell you to make your friends
believe in you and follow you here

1228
01:08:43,400 --> 01:08:46,500
so you can make us look stupid?
'Cause I go to church every Sunday.

1229
01:08:47,700 --> 01:08:49,000
Okay, every other Sunday.

1230
01:08:50,000 --> 01:08:53,500
I've been to church!
And that does not sound 
like God to me.

1231
01:08:53,600 --> 01:08:56,000
Rita, I know that this
doesn't make any sense.

1232
01:08:56,000 --> 01:08:58,700
I just want you to trust me.
You just have to have faith.

1233
01:08:58,800 --> 01:09:03,400
Evan, faith will not fight this bill.
The CINPLAN vote is today!

1234
01:09:03,500 --> 01:09:07,300
If we're going to stop this thing,
you need to get down to Capitol Hill now!

1235
01:09:07,300 --> 01:09:08,700
Otherwise, it's impossible!

1236
01:09:08,800 --> 01:09:11,600
Dad, Dad, I think it's done.

1237
01:10:10,200 --> 01:10:14,400
What in the world?
I can't even get my cat to 
use the litter box.

1238
01:10:55,800 --> 01:11:00,300
It's September 22, and 
we're all still here.

1239
01:11:00,300 --> 01:11:01,600
Awkward!

1240
01:11:01,900 --> 01:11:05,300
People! The flood is imminent!

1241
01:11:05,400 --> 01:11:09,000
Board the ark! Save yourselves!

1242
01:11:09,100 --> 01:11:10,500
MAN: Get down, you fool!

1243
01:11:11,000 --> 01:11:15,000
Listen to me! 
The time has come!

1244
01:11:15,100 --> 01:11:19,200
No, Captain Ahab! 
Your time has come!

1245
01:11:19,200 --> 01:11:20,400
(ALL LAUGHING)

1246
01:11:20,500 --> 01:11:25,200
Yeah, Baxter! The weather's 70 and sunny
with a chance of crazy!

1247
01:11:25,300 --> 01:11:26,700
(ALL GIGGLING)

1248
01:11:28,400 --> 01:11:30,500
(RUMBLING)

1249
01:11:30,600 --> 01:11:34,800
Do you hear that? 
The rains are upon us!

1250
01:11:34,900 --> 01:11:36,600
Dad, I don't think that's the rains.

1251
01:11:37,900 --> 01:11:39,100
(SIREN BLARING)

1252
01:11:41,000 --> 01:11:43,700
MAN: Hey, Baxter! Kiss your ark goodbye!

1253
01:11:56,100 --> 01:11:57,200
Where is he?

1254
01:11:57,200 --> 01:11:58,300
On the boat, sir.

1255
01:11:59,300 --> 01:12:01,400
Give me a minute.
Lets see if I can convince "Noah"

1256
01:12:01,500 --> 01:12:03,300
that the world doesn't have to end today.

1257
01:12:07,400 --> 01:12:10,400
I gotta hand it to you,
this is quite the show.

1258
01:12:10,500 --> 01:12:13,500
According to my source,
the show hasn't even started yet.

1259
01:12:13,600 --> 01:12:15,300
Still expecting the big flood.

1260
01:12:15,300 --> 01:12:17,600
You know, voters don't respond
to the gloom and doom stuff.

1261
01:12:17,700 --> 01:12:19,200
They like a more positive message.

1262
01:12:19,200 --> 01:12:20,800
Like the one you're sending with your bill?

1263
01:12:20,900 --> 01:12:22,900
How much did you make off of all this land?

1264
01:12:23,000 --> 01:12:26,300
You are destroying
our national parks for profit.

1265
01:12:26,300 --> 01:12:28,200
You have a problem with somebody
taking a little profit?

1266
01:12:28,300 --> 01:12:29,800
It's called business, son.

1267
01:12:29,900 --> 01:12:32,400
So if I need to get a message out there,
or get a congressman elected

1268
01:12:32,500 --> 01:12:36,500
there are people who pay for it, and yes,
those people want this bill to happen

1269
01:12:36,600 --> 01:12:40,100
and, by God, it's gonna happen.
Now you look down there.

1270
01:12:41,200 --> 01:12:43,000
Those are the wolves, son.

1271
01:12:43,000 --> 01:12:46,200
I'm gonna give you one last chance.
Take down this boat.

1272
01:12:46,200 --> 01:12:50,000
I'm giving you one last chance. Repent.

1273
01:12:51,300 --> 01:12:55,200
Such a shame. You had possibilities.

1274
01:12:55,300 --> 01:12:59,100
But you want to stop progress
to save the Earth. Go for it.

1275
01:12:59,200 --> 01:13:01,400
Good luck getting a tree
to come to the polls.

1276
01:13:07,100 --> 01:13:08,600
Take it down.

1277
01:13:15,900 --> 01:13:19,100
This is a court order approving
the demolition of this boat!

1278
01:13:19,200 --> 01:13:22,200
Evacuate immediately!
You have three minutes!

1279
01:13:24,900 --> 01:13:29,100
Honey. We have to go.
They're going to destroy the boat.

1280
01:13:29,900 --> 01:13:31,000
No.

1281
01:13:32,100 --> 01:13:33,500
It can't end this way.

1282
01:13:35,300 --> 01:13:39,300
Is it too much to ask
for a little precipitation?

1283
01:13:40,500 --> 01:13:44,200
Honey, maybe God didn't mean
a literal flood.

1284
01:13:44,300 --> 01:13:49,600
Maybe he meant a flood of knowledge
or emotion or awareness.

1285
01:13:49,700 --> 01:13:51,300
If that's true,

1286
01:13:52,200 --> 01:13:55,400
I am going to be so pissed.

1287
01:13:55,500 --> 01:13:56,800
Two minutes!

1288
01:13:56,800 --> 01:14:00,300
Get off the boat now
or you will be removed by force.

1289
01:14:00,400 --> 01:14:03,900
Evan, you did it. You built the ark.

1290
01:14:04,000 --> 01:14:05,400
That's all you were asked to do, right?

1291
01:14:05,400 --> 01:14:06,500
No.

1292
01:14:07,000 --> 01:14:11,200
There's something else.
Something's going to happen. 
I can feel it.

1293
01:14:11,300 --> 01:14:14,100
Yeah, what's gonna happen is
tear gas and a wrecking ball.

1294
01:14:14,200 --> 01:14:16,200
Evan, think of the kids.

1295
01:14:17,300 --> 01:14:18,700
One minute!

1296
01:14:20,900 --> 01:14:23,000
Dad, whatever you say, I'm with you.

1297
01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:24,500
Yeah, me, too.

1298
01:14:24,600 --> 01:14:26,700
Me, too. But can we keep
some of the animals?

1299
01:14:26,700 --> 01:14:29,000
I like the alpaca. He spits.

1300
01:14:33,500 --> 01:14:36,800
You're right. We did it. We built the boat.

1301
01:14:37,200 --> 01:14:38,200
Yeah.

1302
01:14:39,200 --> 01:14:41,600
Let's go. Let's go, guys. Come on.

1303
01:14:54,700 --> 01:14:56,400
EVAN: Well, I guess they don't want to go.

1304
01:14:56,500 --> 01:14:57,900
It's their instinct.

1305
01:14:58,000 --> 01:14:59,600
What do you mean, hon?

1306
01:14:59,700 --> 01:15:04,400
Some animals know when weather's coming.
When they feel it coming, they sit.

1307
01:15:10,300 --> 01:15:11,800
(THUNDER RUMBLING)

1308
01:15:12,600 --> 01:15:13,700
Joan!

1309
01:15:17,000 --> 01:15:18,400
(THUNDER CLAPPING)

1310
01:15:23,100 --> 01:15:25,600
Okay. Time's up! We're coming in!

1311
01:15:25,700 --> 01:15:28,900
Get that ball in position!
We're clearing them out!

1312
01:15:35,700 --> 01:15:37,600
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

1313
01:15:39,900 --> 01:15:43,200
Is that rain?
It's raining.

1314
01:15:43,200 --> 01:15:45,700
Lucky guess, Baxter. Lucky guess.

1315
01:15:47,300 --> 01:15:48,200
(THUNDER CLAPPING)

1316
01:16:04,100 --> 01:16:06,500
Looks like the drought's finally over.
Good news, eh, Congressman?

1317
01:16:06,600 --> 01:16:08,800
Yeah. Good news.

1318
01:16:11,300 --> 01:16:16,800
Everybody! Please! Get on the ark!

1319
01:16:18,800 --> 01:16:20,300
Go to the car!

1320
01:16:20,400 --> 01:16:24,500
Please! Everyone! On the ark!

1321
01:16:24,600 --> 01:16:27,900
Cover me up! Keep me dry!
Cover me up! Keep me dry!

1322
01:16:28,000 --> 01:16:32,000
Who's crazy now, huh?
Look at us all squishing!

1323
01:16:40,100 --> 01:16:41,800
It kind of stopped raining.

1324
01:16:41,900 --> 01:16:43,000
Is that it?

1325
01:16:43,000 --> 01:16:45,500
What did I tell you? It's fine. It's over.

1326
01:16:45,600 --> 01:16:47,500
Hey, Ahab! This is it?

1327
01:16:48,300 --> 01:16:50,800
Your God experiencing
a little water shortage?

1328
01:16:50,900 --> 01:16:51,900
(ALL LAUGHING)

1329
01:16:52,000 --> 01:16:55,700
It would appear Evan Baxter
was right about the rain,

1330
01:16:55,700 --> 01:16:59,200
with a slight miscalculation
as to the quantity.

1331
01:17:03,300 --> 01:17:04,900
Something's wrong.

1332
01:17:04,900 --> 01:17:06,500
Honey, the clouds are moving away.

1333
01:17:06,600 --> 01:17:09,600
No, no. No, this isn't right.

1334
01:17:10,400 --> 01:17:13,800
Evan, even if it kept raining,
it's not like it could cause a flood in a day.

1335
01:17:13,900 --> 01:17:19,100
But today is the day! It has to be.
This just doesn't make any sense!

1336
01:17:21,100 --> 01:17:22,200
Wait a second.

1337
01:17:22,300 --> 01:17:23,300
What is it?

1338
01:17:23,400 --> 01:17:27,100
Marty said that Long cut corners,
violated building codes.

1339
01:17:27,200 --> 01:17:28,300
What are you talking about?

1340
01:17:28,400 --> 01:17:29,800
The lake, Long Lake.

1341
01:17:29,900 --> 01:17:33,500
It's named after him.
It's the lake! It's the lake!

1342
01:17:46,900 --> 01:17:48,200
Oh, no.

1343
01:17:50,000 --> 01:17:54,800
Get on the ark! 
Everyone, on the ark now!

1344
01:17:54,900 --> 01:17:56,700
I think we should get on the ark.

1345
01:17:56,800 --> 01:17:59,600
I agree. I think we should get on the ark also.

1346
01:17:59,700 --> 01:18:02,700
I'm cold. I'm wet. I'm going home.

1347
01:18:10,300 --> 01:18:12,400
Ladies first! Move!

1348
01:18:20,300 --> 01:18:23,900
Oh, my God. This is happening.
This is really happening.

1349
01:18:25,000 --> 01:18:28,400
Holy... Get everyone on the ark now!

1350
01:18:28,400 --> 01:18:31,100
Get on the ark now! Let's go!
Get on the ark! Let's go!

1351
01:18:31,200 --> 01:18:34,100
Go, go, go! Get on the ark!

1352
01:18:34,100 --> 01:18:35,600
(ALL SCREAMING)

1353
01:18:35,700 --> 01:18:39,800
Go, go, go! On the ark! Go, go, go!

1354
01:18:39,900 --> 01:18:42,400
All right, boys! Let's go! Let's go!

1355
01:18:42,400 --> 01:18:46,000
We're gonna need a bigger boat.
Stay here with the kids.

1356
01:18:55,100 --> 01:18:57,000
Come on, Rita!

1357
01:18:57,000 --> 01:19:01,200
Everyone, up the ramp! Onto the deck!
Come on! Hurry, hurry, hurry!

1358
01:19:01,300 --> 01:19:03,000
Dylan, get back inside! It's too dangerous.

1359
01:19:03,100 --> 01:19:05,100
No, Dad. I told you, I'm with you.

1360
01:19:09,500 --> 01:19:12,300
EVAN: Careful, everyone.
In the ark! In the ark!

1361
01:19:12,400 --> 01:19:14,500
Watch your step! 
Up the ramp, everybody!

1362
01:19:22,700 --> 01:19:23,800
Guys, help me with the door!

1363
01:19:23,900 --> 01:19:25,200
Get the door! Get the door!

1364
01:19:32,200 --> 01:19:34,100
(ALL SCREAMING)

1365
01:20:07,900 --> 01:20:09,400
Guys! Guys!

1366
01:20:42,400 --> 01:20:44,100
Everybody hang on!

1367
01:20:54,400 --> 01:20:55,500
(ROARING)

1368
01:20:55,600 --> 01:20:57,800
You guys all right? You okay?

1369
01:20:58,400 --> 01:20:59,900
MAN OVER TV:
There's been a flood at Prestige Crest

1370
01:21:00,000 --> 01:21:02,200
and you're seeing live images
of New York Noah's ark

1371
01:21:02,200 --> 01:21:05,500
caught in the storm surge
and heading towards Memorial Bridge!

1372
01:21:13,300 --> 01:21:14,300
WOMAN: We're going to crash!

1373
01:21:14,400 --> 01:21:15,900
MAN: Turn this thing around!

1374
01:21:16,000 --> 01:21:17,300
MAN 2: We're not gonna make it!

1375
01:21:17,400 --> 01:21:18,800
MAN 3: Save us, Baxter!

1376
01:21:30,500 --> 01:21:35,100
I command thee halt! Stop! Whoa!

1377
01:21:35,200 --> 01:21:36,800
WOMAN: It's not working!

1378
01:21:37,600 --> 01:21:40,400
How about a little help here?

1379
01:21:56,700 --> 01:21:57,700
(SCREAMING)

1380
01:22:24,800 --> 01:22:25,800
(SCREAMING)

1381
01:22:26,200 --> 01:22:28,700
What do you mean there was water damage?
It rained for ten minutes.

1382
01:22:28,800 --> 01:22:30,300
That is not possible.

1383
01:22:39,100 --> 01:22:40,200
(EXCLAIMING)

1384
01:22:40,200 --> 01:22:42,100
I love you guys.
All right.

1385
01:22:42,200 --> 01:22:43,500
Seriously.
Okay, I got it.

1386
01:22:43,500 --> 01:22:44,700
I love you.
Thank you.

1387
01:22:44,700 --> 01:22:46,000
(EAGLE CRYING)

1388
01:23:02,100 --> 01:23:06,700
LONG: All those in favor of the Public Land
Act, please signify by saying, "Aye."

1389
01:23:07,100 --> 01:23:09,000
(CLAMORING)

1390
01:23:13,800 --> 01:23:15,100
Good God!

1391
01:23:24,100 --> 01:23:25,900
(ALL YELLING)

1392
01:23:50,400 --> 01:23:51,900
I think we can walk from here.

1393
01:23:52,300 --> 01:23:53,500
(SIRENS BLARING)

1394
01:24:10,100 --> 01:24:14,700
Hello, Congressman.
Mind if I park my boat here for a little while?

1395
01:24:15,600 --> 01:24:16,600
But how...

1396
01:24:16,700 --> 01:24:17,900
The dam, Congressman.

1397
01:24:18,000 --> 01:24:21,600
Your reservoir ruptured.
Prestige Crest, it's all gone.

1398
01:24:21,600 --> 01:24:23,600
No. They said that couldn't happen.

1399
01:24:25,200 --> 01:24:26,600
I never thought this...

1400
01:24:27,800 --> 01:24:32,700
You. You did this to me.
You set me up, you crazy son of a...

1401
01:24:32,800 --> 01:24:35,900
(MONKEYS SCREECHING)

1402
01:24:36,000 --> 01:24:38,300
Wow. That is disgusting.

1403
01:24:38,800 --> 01:24:40,200
If that comes out your front,

1404
01:24:40,300 --> 01:24:42,600
I don't even want to know
what's coming out the back.

1405
01:24:45,500 --> 01:24:46,900
(SNARLING)

1406
01:24:47,000 --> 01:24:49,500
Don't look down, Congressman,
but the wolves are here,

1407
01:24:49,600 --> 01:24:53,500
although I wouldn't worry so much
about these wolves as those.

1408
01:25:01,800 --> 01:25:03,200
Gesundheit.

1409
01:25:15,300 --> 01:25:18,900
MAN 1: As you can see behind me,
New York Noah's prediction came true.

1410
01:25:19,000 --> 01:25:21,500
WOMAN: The vote of the Land Act Bill
has been suspended,

1411
01:25:21,600 --> 01:25:24,400
pending investigation of 
Congressman Long for profiteering...

1412
01:25:24,500 --> 01:25:27,500
MAN 2: Of course now, the question is,
how will these animals be returned

1413
01:25:27,500 --> 01:25:29,100
to their natural habitats?

1414
01:25:29,200 --> 01:25:33,000
Something tells me, if God got them here,
he can probably get them home.

1415
01:25:33,100 --> 01:25:36,200
WOMAN 2: The House will undoubtedly
reinstate Congressman Baxter

1416
01:25:36,200 --> 01:25:38,000
when it reconvenes in the morning.

1417
01:25:38,100 --> 01:25:42,000
Until then, there is a lot to be done
here on Capitol Hill.

1418
01:25:42,000 --> 01:25:43,000
JORDAN: How's Buster doing?

1419
01:25:43,100 --> 01:25:44,100
EVAN: Come on, Buster.

1420
01:25:44,200 --> 01:25:46,600
JOAN: No, come on. Come on!
RYAN: Come on!

1421
01:25:46,700 --> 01:25:48,500
EVAN: These too heavy? It's all right?
JORDAN: No, it's fine.

1422
01:25:48,500 --> 01:25:49,600
RYAN: He can't keep up.

1423
01:25:49,700 --> 01:25:51,000
I know, sweetie!

1424
01:25:51,000 --> 01:25:54,200
All right. What do you say
we take a little break?

1425
01:25:54,300 --> 01:25:55,900
We've only been walking
for, like, five minutes, Dad.

1426
01:25:56,000 --> 01:25:59,200
Well, five on, five off.
Life is about balance, right?

1427
01:25:59,300 --> 01:26:00,600
How about some sandwiches?
Okay.

1428
01:26:00,700 --> 01:26:02,300
Who wants sandwiches? 
Let's do it!

1429
01:26:02,400 --> 01:26:03,600
RYAN: I get first dibs!

1430
01:26:03,600 --> 01:26:06,000
Everyone but Buster
is going to get a sandwich.

1431
01:26:06,000 --> 01:26:10,400
You do not get a sandwich! 
You're a dog and you do 
not get a sandwich!

1432
01:26:10,500 --> 01:26:13,700
Buster is part of the family now.
You're just gonna have to get used to it.

1433
01:26:13,800 --> 01:26:15,600
Poor Buster!

1434
01:26:16,400 --> 01:26:19,500
Honey, come here.
Sweetheart, be careful. Come here.

1435
01:26:19,600 --> 01:26:21,500
Hey, hon, save me one, okay?
Okay.

1436
01:26:21,500 --> 01:26:22,700
I'll be right back.

1437
01:26:31,300 --> 01:26:32,700
Hey.
Hey.

1438
01:26:34,500 --> 01:26:36,000
What are you doing here?

1439
01:26:36,800 --> 01:26:39,200
Just hanging out with some old friends.

1440
01:26:39,300 --> 01:26:42,600
You knew all along, didn't you?
You knew the dam was unstable.

1441
01:26:42,700 --> 01:26:46,500
If it hadn't been for the ark,
my family, the neighbors...

1442
01:26:46,600 --> 01:26:48,800
I fought you every step of the way.

1443
01:26:48,900 --> 01:26:50,400
Yes, but you did it.

1444
01:26:51,400 --> 01:26:56,000
So, you had nothing to do with the flood?
Like where the ark landed exactly?

1445
01:26:56,000 --> 01:26:59,500
I gave you a little shove at the end. 
Sue me.

1446
01:26:59,600 --> 01:27:00,600
(BOTH CHUCKLING)

1447
01:27:02,100 --> 01:27:05,800
You did good, son. 
You changed the world.

1448
01:27:05,900 --> 01:27:07,300
No, no, I didn't.

1449
01:27:07,400 --> 01:27:08,600
Well, let's see.

1450
01:27:08,600 --> 01:27:12,700
Spending time with your family,
making them very happy.

1451
01:27:12,800 --> 01:27:14,100
Gave that dog a home.

1452
01:27:14,200 --> 01:27:16,100
Right. So?

1453
01:27:16,800 --> 01:27:18,500
So?

1454
01:27:18,500 --> 01:27:20,700
How do we change the world?

1455
01:27:22,200 --> 01:27:25,700
One act of random kindness at a time.

1456
01:27:25,700 --> 01:27:30,300
One act of random kindness.

1457
01:27:30,400 --> 01:27:31,500
EVAN: Wow.

1458
01:27:35,500 --> 01:27:36,800
It's time.

1459
01:27:38,800 --> 01:27:40,300
Do the dance.

1460
01:27:41,800 --> 01:27:43,400
Care to join me?

1461
01:27:49,300 --> 01:27:50,300
(CHUCKLING)

1462
01:28:05,400 --> 01:28:06,400
(DOVE COOING)

1463
01:28:39,900 --> 01:28:42,700
I now issue a new commandment,

1464
01:28:42,700 --> 01:28:44,800
"Thou shalt do the dance."

1465
01:28:44,900 --> 01:28:46,600
(GONNA MAKE YOU SWEAT,
EVERYBODY DANCE NOW PLAYING)

1466
01:29:40,700 --> 01:29:42,200
(LIP-SYNCING)

1467
01:29:46,900 --> 01:29:50,100
Stop it! This is stupid!

1468
01:29:50,200 --> 01:29:53,400
That's awful dancing! You better stop!

1469
01:29:59,200 --> 01:30:18,000
(LIP-SYNCING)

1470
01:30:26,300 --> 01:30:28,000
(PEOPLE CHEERING)

1471
01:30:31,700 --> 01:30:33,800
MAN 1: Ladies and gentlemen,
you don't have to go home.

1472
01:30:33,900 --> 01:30:36,500
You just have to go. We are wrapped.

1473
01:30:36,600 --> 01:30:39,300
MAN 2: We're wrapped.
We love you. Thank you.

1474
01:30:40,100 --> 01:30:42,100
(READY FOR A MIRACLE PLAYING)