1 00:00:36,936 --> 00:00:41,566 Los Angeles late at night is much like any big American city late at night. 2 00:00:41,641 --> 00:00:44,974 At 2:00 a.m. People are either making a mess or cleaning it up. 3 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,411 Tonight's my night to do the cleaning up. 4 00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:50,540 My name, most of the time, is Irwin Fletcher. 5 00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:55,350 I write under the name of Jane Doe. That's the kind of gal I am. 6 00:00:55,422 --> 00:00:58,255 This is a Greek seafood house, part of a very successful chain. 7 00:00:58,324 --> 00:01:00,724 But, believe me, it's not because of the food. 8 00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:03,729 113,000 from basketball. 9 00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:06,857 List it as codfish. 10 00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:10,896 120,000 from the Gonzalez fight. 11 00:01:10,970 --> 00:01:15,839 That includes 60 from our chain in the Valley. 12 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:19,401 Twenty from Long Beach. 120 total. 13 00:01:19,479 --> 00:01:22,607 Put that under halibut. 14 00:01:22,682 --> 00:01:25,412 180,000 from the track. 15 00:01:25,485 --> 00:01:27,419 Scrod. 16 00:01:27,487 --> 00:01:30,047 We already got over two million in scrod this month. 17 00:01:30,123 --> 00:01:33,149 Scrod's making a comeback, all right? 18 00:01:33,226 --> 00:01:35,194 So how are you listing my stake? 19 00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:39,527 Breakage. $ 75,000 worth of breakage? 20 00:01:45,805 --> 00:01:48,865 We're Greeks! We dance, we break plates, we're clumsy! 21 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,934 Cut the fighting. We gotta be cross town in 30 minutes. 22 00:01:52,011 --> 00:01:53,945 You wanna wash up? 23 00:01:54,013 --> 00:01:57,176 Nah. My wife gets suspicious if I come home and my hands don't smell like fish. 24 00:01:57,250 --> 00:01:59,377 I got it. You get the lights. 25 00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:02,387 Where's Poppa? In the back. 26 00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:05,322 Tell him to snap it up. We'll meet him in the car. Phil, I'll drop you off first. 27 00:02:05,391 --> 00:02:07,825 You better. 28 00:02:21,374 --> 00:02:25,606 - Hi. - What's your name, little lady? 29 00:02:25,678 --> 00:02:30,775 My name? Peggy Lee... Zorba. Peggy Lee Zorba. 30 00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:35,116 - You're cute! - Do you mind if I freshen up a little bit? 31 00:02:35,188 --> 00:02:37,748 Splash a little water on my face. 32 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:40,190 Whatever makes you feel sexy. 33 00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:42,728 Okay. 34 00:02:42,795 --> 00:02:46,458 Just wait outside. I'll be right out. 35 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,383 What the hell was that? 36 00:03:10,456 --> 00:03:12,947 - Jesus.! If it's a cop, kill him. - Hi. Mary Poppins! 37 00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,221 If it's a reporter, cripple him. 38 00:03:31,344 --> 00:03:33,835 You're never driving again! 39 00:03:33,913 --> 00:03:36,347 I just did what you told me to do. 40 00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:39,180 There's a new thing called brakes.! Will you shut up.! 41 00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:48,653 Good. Brilliant as usual, Fletch. We'll run it in the next edition. 42 00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:51,492 Great. See you in two weeks. 43 00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:57,264 Uh, Fletch, there's... "Uh, Fletch"? Frank, I see a double-cross in your eyes. 44 00:03:57,337 --> 00:04:00,500 You promised me a vacation and I'm taking it. Right after the sewer story. 45 00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:03,599 What are you talking about? You can't do this to me. 46 00:04:03,676 --> 00:04:07,043 I spent eight nights on my knees for you dressed like Dolly Parton at a funeral. 47 00:04:07,113 --> 00:04:10,571 I got felt up. I got dishpan hands and sore knees! 48 00:04:10,650 --> 00:04:13,141 Three guys tried to kill me. And do you give a crap? 49 00:04:13,219 --> 00:04:16,017 You promised me a vacation! And you're gonna get a vacation. 50 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:19,183 As soon as you research and write the sewer system expose. You owe me a vacation! 51 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,318 In July you're gonna have it! That's two months away. 52 00:04:21,394 --> 00:04:23,692 That's why you're such a great reporter. You know the facts. 53 00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:27,631 By the way, the new computer disallowed your undocumented expenses. 54 00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:30,328 - It'll come out of this week's pay. - You can't do that. 55 00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:34,635 There's nothing I can do about it. It's amazing. It's all done automatically. 56 00:04:50,757 --> 00:04:53,885 On top of everything else, I think I'm getting my period. 57 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:24,453 No wonder I got a fumigation alert. How'd you get in here? 58 00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:26,890 The window was open. 59 00:05:26,959 --> 00:05:30,622 I knocked, and I could swear I heard you say, "Come in." 60 00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:34,895 You really know how to cover your ass, Gillet. Although those pants are a huge mistake. 61 00:05:34,967 --> 00:05:40,405 You owe me $4,381 in back alimony. 62 00:05:40,473 --> 00:05:43,465 What? I was married to you? 63 00:05:43,543 --> 00:05:48,446 You're right. I've been foolishly squandering my salary on food and heat. 64 00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:52,041 You have one week to comply with Judge Proctor's orders. 65 00:05:52,118 --> 00:05:55,087 Payment in full. Otherwise you go to jail. 66 00:05:55,154 --> 00:05:57,520 Wendy doesn't need the money. 67 00:05:57,590 --> 00:06:03,119 I hear she's been... banging some balding, wimpy lawyer who can't get it up. 68 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,790 - May I see that? - Be my guest. 69 00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:08,561 It's a nice briefcase. Couldn't guess your weight? 70 00:06:08,634 --> 00:06:10,898 Oh! I'm sorry. I got it. 71 00:06:10,970 --> 00:06:13,370 Never mind, I'll take care of it. 72 00:06:13,439 --> 00:06:16,306 Look at this. A note from the Oakwood Potency Clinic. 73 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:21,177 "Sorry to inform you, our machines cannot process sperm counts as low as yours." 74 00:06:21,247 --> 00:06:23,613 Here we are. What about this? Be careful! 75 00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:26,277 Uh-oh! I am terribly sorry! 76 00:06:26,352 --> 00:06:28,320 You did that intentionally. No, I did not. I really didn't. 77 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,948 That was good juice too. Leave it alone. 78 00:06:31,023 --> 00:06:34,117 Good idea. My mistake. Where are you going with that? 79 00:06:34,193 --> 00:06:36,821 My mess. I'll clean it up. 80 00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,989 - What are you doing? - What's this? 81 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:42,466 You are damaging personal property and I'm gonna... 82 00:06:42,535 --> 00:06:46,027 The ink is running. I didn't expect that. 83 00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:50,639 There we are! Clean as a whistle. 84 00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:55,010 Thanks for coming by, Marvin. Expect to hear from my lawyer. 85 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:59,347 Oh, Gillet, one more thing. Come back here. It's very important. 86 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:03,685 They're doing a thing now where they make an incision in the scalp, push the hair together. 87 00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:08,887 Or you could try a transplant. Maybe the hair from your ass might make you smarter. Bye. 88 00:07:08,961 --> 00:07:12,988 Betty, how 'bout lunch at the In-N-Out Burger? 89 00:07:13,065 --> 00:07:14,999 I'm not hungry. 90 00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:17,695 Forget the burger. How about just the "in and out"? 91 00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:20,705 Very well. How about just the "in"? 92 00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:24,876 Ooh! 93 00:07:33,753 --> 00:07:36,153 Fletch, answer your phone. 94 00:07:42,428 --> 00:07:44,362 In-N-Out Burger. 95 00:07:44,430 --> 00:07:47,024 May I take your order please? Mr. Irwin Fletcher? 96 00:07:47,099 --> 00:07:50,227 This is Amanda Ray Ross. I represented your Aunt Belle Fletcher. 97 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:52,794 Good ol' Aunt Belle. How the hell is she? 98 00:07:52,872 --> 00:07:56,330 She's deceased, Mr. Fletcher. Oh. I guess she could be better. 99 00:07:56,409 --> 00:08:00,277 - You're a hard man to find. - I was touring with the Stones. What can I do for you? 100 00:08:00,346 --> 00:08:02,211 Didn't you get my message? No. 101 00:08:02,281 --> 00:08:05,114 I'm the executor of your aunt's will and as such I can inform you... 102 00:08:05,184 --> 00:08:09,712 you are the major beneficiary of your aunt's estate, Belle Isle. 103 00:08:09,789 --> 00:08:13,350 What about this expense... $58 for leg waxing? That's bullshit. 104 00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:15,758 Yeah, but feel how smooth they are. 105 00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:19,059 It consists of 80 acres of old plantation property. 106 00:08:19,131 --> 00:08:22,191 Wait a minute. Did you say plantation? Yes, indeed. 107 00:08:22,268 --> 00:08:24,793 She left it to me? According to her will, she did. 108 00:08:24,871 --> 00:08:28,363 - Can I get back to you? - Hair by Ziggy? Who's Ziggy? 109 00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:33,208 5-0-4... Shut up, Frank. Yeah. I'll get right back to you. 110 00:08:33,279 --> 00:08:36,248 Can't we just return some of these things? What about the lingerie? 111 00:08:36,315 --> 00:08:39,284 - I ate it. - Be serious for one minute. 112 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,979 I quit. 113 00:08:41,053 --> 00:08:46,252 I'm not unreasonable about legitimate expenses. I quit, Frank. 114 00:08:46,325 --> 00:08:49,783 Yeah. On the sewer story, I'm gonna advance you for the hip boots and wet suit. 115 00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:52,422 Frank, I'm really quitting. 116 00:08:52,498 --> 00:08:56,457 Fletch, look, I got a little A-frame up at Arrowhead. 117 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:59,004 Why don't you go there, take a couple of weeks, relax? 118 00:08:59,071 --> 00:09:01,767 I'm really gonna miss you. 119 00:09:01,841 --> 00:09:03,775 Maybe that's an overstatement. 120 00:09:03,843 --> 00:09:07,074 Treat this as good news. You can always write my Jane Doe column. 121 00:09:07,146 --> 00:09:09,774 You're not gonna quit, and I'll tell you why. 122 00:09:09,849 --> 00:09:12,079 Why? You have journalistic integrity. 123 00:09:12,151 --> 00:09:15,018 Yeah. And you have a sense of loyalty. 124 00:09:15,087 --> 00:09:17,248 And you'll never give up the quest for truth, will you? 125 00:09:17,323 --> 00:09:22,955 You're right. I can't abandon the principles that nurtured me lo these many years. 126 00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:27,363 Wrap them up with the shit on my desk and have them shipped to my mansion in Louisiana. 127 00:09:27,433 --> 00:09:29,833 Bye. 128 00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:31,836 What happened? 129 00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:35,336 And my husband said I was crazy to go 2,000 miles to have my nose done. 130 00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:41,871 That's an interesting watch. Is it a prize of some sort? 131 00:09:41,948 --> 00:09:45,975 No. It certainly looks like one. 132 00:09:47,053 --> 00:09:49,146 It's a championship Laker watch. 133 00:09:49,221 --> 00:09:51,712 Oh! Are you a Laker? 134 00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:57,423 I used to date one. Only thing I have to remember him by. 135 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,864 Lord, what was that? 136 00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:10,670 We just clipped a Piper Cub. The pilot's okay. I just saw him parachuting. 137 00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:16,137 I love a man with a sense of humor. 138 00:10:16,215 --> 00:10:19,241 What did you say your name was? 139 00:10:19,318 --> 00:10:21,377 Nostradamus. 140 00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,684 I'm Cindy Mae Sample. 141 00:10:23,756 --> 00:10:27,715 Nostradamus. I love the Fightin' Irish. 142 00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:31,729 Lord, I hate to fly. I wish I was gettin' off in Thibodaux like you. 143 00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:36,530 It's two more stops to Selma. All those ups and downs and ups and downs. 144 00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:42,369 You should try holding your breath. 145 00:10:42,441 --> 00:10:44,636 Sometimes that works. 146 00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:51,748 Belle Isle. 147 00:10:53,219 --> 00:10:56,677 % We are calling% 148 00:10:56,756 --> 00:10:59,850 % We are calling% 149 00:10:59,925 --> 00:11:05,761 Belle Isle. % While our heads are bending low% 150 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,293 % Can you hear% 151 00:11:10,369 --> 00:11:17,298 % Our gentle voices calling% 152 00:11:17,376 --> 00:11:23,542 % Old White Joe% % 153 00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:26,483 Thank you, Betty Lee. 154 00:11:26,552 --> 00:11:31,546 Look, Colonel, the folks have come to serenade you. 155 00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:33,922 They love you so much. 156 00:11:33,993 --> 00:11:36,928 I love them too. 157 00:11:36,996 --> 00:11:40,329 Give me that, boy! 158 00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:48,799 Thank you, sir. Quiet down. 159 00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:51,069 - Uncle Frank? - Yes, sir? 160 00:11:51,143 --> 00:11:55,637 - You know my favorite tune. - Sure do, Colonel. 161 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,843 Would you mind if I sat in your lap, Colonel? 162 00:11:58,918 --> 00:12:01,751 Please do, Betty Lee. Please do. 163 00:12:01,821 --> 00:12:07,589 The field hands would like to dance for you. Dance for me? 164 00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:10,151 Why, I'll dance for them! 165 00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:16,065 Yes, sir! % Zip-a-dee-doo-dah Zip-a-dee-ay% 166 00:12:16,135 --> 00:12:20,469 % My, oh, my what a wonderful day% 167 00:12:20,539 --> 00:12:25,169 % Plenty of sunshine headin' my way% You bet! 168 00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:29,010 % Zip-a-dee-doo-dah Zip-a-dee-ay% 169 00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:33,279 % Mr. Bluebird's on my shoulder% 170 00:12:33,352 --> 00:12:36,446 % Ain't it the truth It's actual% 171 00:12:36,522 --> 00:12:38,547 % Everything is satisfactual% 172 00:12:38,624 --> 00:12:43,027 % Zip-a-dee-doo-dah Zip-a-dee-ay% 173 00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:46,587 % Wonderful feeling% 174 00:12:46,665 --> 00:12:50,192 % Wonderful day% % 175 00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:02,573 You made it, Mr. Notre Dame. 176 00:13:08,654 --> 00:13:12,556 Mr. Fletcher. I'm Amanda Ray Ross. 177 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:16,493 I spoke with you on the phone. Oh, yes. That was you? 178 00:13:16,562 --> 00:13:18,587 Great. 179 00:13:18,664 --> 00:13:21,758 Do you have any luggage? Just one piece. 180 00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:36,170 Plannin' on stayin' long? 181 00:13:36,248 --> 00:13:40,344 Just long enough to see Mount Rushmore and squeeze in a little ice fishing. 182 00:13:44,023 --> 00:13:46,548 I'm on the board of the Pontchartrain Society. 183 00:13:46,625 --> 00:13:49,958 We help preserve and restore some of these lovely mansions. 184 00:13:56,302 --> 00:13:57,894 We headed to Belle Isle? 185 00:13:57,970 --> 00:14:01,599 - You must be dying to see it, Mr. Fletcher. - Call me Fletch. 186 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:05,337 Your house is not quite as grand as some of the others in the neighborhood. 187 00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:09,142 It doesn't matter. It's the thought that counts. Eighty acres, huh? 188 00:14:09,215 --> 00:14:12,946 Mm-hmm. Isn't it strikin'? 189 00:14:16,222 --> 00:14:20,158 Your aunt tried to keep things in their natural state. 190 00:14:20,226 --> 00:14:22,820 She ever brush her hair? 191 00:14:24,463 --> 00:14:27,626 - I can see you're disappointed. - No, not at all! 192 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:32,069 A little spackling and some napalm, this place would make a nice mausoleum. 193 00:14:44,183 --> 00:14:46,481 Oh, my God! Are you all right? 194 00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:51,182 Oh! I was aimin' to fix that today. How do you do? 195 00:14:51,257 --> 00:14:54,124 I be Calculus Entterby. You be Mr. And Mrs. Fletcher? 196 00:14:54,193 --> 00:14:59,688 I be Fletch. Geometry Fletch. She be Miss Trigonometry Ross. 197 00:14:59,765 --> 00:15:04,202 Pleased, I'm sure. Your Aunt Belle told me you'd be takin' over the place, 198 00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:06,500 and I'm extendin' my "condulations." 199 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,709 Right. You work here? 200 00:15:10,776 --> 00:15:13,404 Your Aunt Belle and I, we had an arrangement. 201 00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:17,381 And I was hopin' we could make an extenuation of it. 202 00:15:17,449 --> 00:15:21,681 Help me get your stuff out the car here. Come on. 203 00:15:23,489 --> 00:15:25,423 You mind your step. 204 00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:27,652 Our families go back for hundreds of years. 205 00:15:27,726 --> 00:15:32,993 Your great grandparents owned my great grandparents and that's how it all started. 206 00:15:33,065 --> 00:15:35,056 Did you ever hear of the Emancipation Proclamation? 207 00:15:36,735 --> 00:15:39,863 I heard somethin' about it, but I don't recall exactly. 208 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:44,239 - It didn't get much publicity around these here parts. - I'll bet. 209 00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:46,574 Excuse me, sir. 210 00:15:46,645 --> 00:15:51,582 Could you give me a hand? R-Right here. 211 00:15:51,650 --> 00:15:53,982 Just pull it towards you. Just pull it. 212 00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:57,045 Come on, come on. Just pull it. 213 00:15:57,122 --> 00:15:59,386 Just pull it on over. That's it, that's it. 214 00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:01,392 Don't scar the car. 215 00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:04,190 Is there any electricity or gas? 216 00:16:04,263 --> 00:16:08,165 Everything works. No cable TV, I guess. 217 00:16:08,233 --> 00:16:13,000 If I'd known you was comin', I'd have straightened out a bit and stocked your refrigerator. 218 00:16:13,072 --> 00:16:16,098 No food? No refrigerator. 219 00:16:16,175 --> 00:16:19,201 We need to do some paperwork. Want a lift into town? 220 00:16:19,278 --> 00:16:22,770 What? And leave my estate unattended? It's not yours till you sign. 221 00:16:22,848 --> 00:16:26,648 I can make you some dinner, ease the culture shock. 222 00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:28,846 That sounds great. 223 00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:32,084 Should I be doin' anything? No, not really. 224 00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:35,251 Uh, soon as you get that trunk upstairs and have finished your nap, 225 00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:39,491 I guess you could fix that step and jump down, turn around and pick a bale of cotton. 226 00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:43,558 And while I'm gone, see to it Miss Scarlett stays away from the Union Army, will you? 227 00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:49,904 More wine? 228 00:16:49,975 --> 00:16:52,443 You're not trying to take advantage of me, are you? 229 00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:56,106 Not yet. You need to sign these papers. 230 00:16:59,251 --> 00:17:01,412 Do you mind if I read 'em first? 231 00:17:01,487 --> 00:17:05,719 Be my guest. Had you talked to your aunt recently? 232 00:17:05,791 --> 00:17:10,387 That depends on your view of history. It's been 16 years. 233 00:17:11,897 --> 00:17:14,229 Sign all three? Please. 234 00:17:14,299 --> 00:17:18,167 I was just wonderin' because she changed her will three weeks before she died. 235 00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:23,004 Well, lucky for me. Why'd she do that? 236 00:17:23,075 --> 00:17:27,341 I don't know. She was old. Seemed to be under a lot of strain. 237 00:17:29,681 --> 00:17:33,412 Dying always does that to you. 238 00:17:33,485 --> 00:17:38,149 Congratulations. You know, you can make yourself some good money out of this. 239 00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:42,819 A Realtor contacted me with an unusually high offer... 225,000. 240 00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:45,591 - Dollars? - Mm-hmm. 241 00:17:45,664 --> 00:17:48,531 Let me ask you this: 242 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:52,798 If they're so anxious, don't you think if I wait a little longer, they might go up? 243 00:17:52,871 --> 00:17:56,170 - They might. - And I just got here, didn't I? 244 00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:58,038 No sale? 245 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:04,811 While you're thinking about it, what are you gonna do with the land, Fletch? 246 00:18:04,883 --> 00:18:09,377 I don't know. Raise chitlins... the chitlin' market as high as it is. 247 00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:13,551 They're mean little animals, but their coats are worth a fortune. 248 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:20,122 $225,000? What do you think I oughta do? 249 00:18:20,199 --> 00:18:26,001 If I were you, I would proceed slowly and carefully. 250 00:18:26,071 --> 00:18:28,733 That's my specialty. 251 00:18:28,807 --> 00:18:33,176 - Would you like some dessert? - What do you have in mind? 252 00:18:33,245 --> 00:18:37,238 How 'bout something sweet... and Southern? 253 00:19:17,356 --> 00:19:19,449 I borrowed your toothbrush. 254 00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:23,586 Would've used your razor, but it looks like you've been doing some gardening with it. 255 00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:29,391 Gee, I can't believe we slept this late. 256 00:19:29,468 --> 00:19:33,962 Amanda? Want to drive into Belle Isle? 257 00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:40,668 I guess not. 258 00:19:48,587 --> 00:19:51,147 It was good, but not that good. 259 00:19:54,326 --> 00:19:59,389 'Morning, Mr. Fletcher. If that's your real name. I'm Billy Jo Hendrick. 260 00:19:59,464 --> 00:20:02,126 Howdy. 261 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,465 What's your relationship to Amanda Ray? 262 00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:06,800 She was my attorney. 263 00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:10,467 She was working on my briefs. 264 00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:14,342 - You come into town, y'all just hit it off? - So to speak. 265 00:20:14,413 --> 00:20:18,975 Sparks just flew. That's what you're gonna tell me. 266 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:21,645 Wonder why things like that never happen to me? 267 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:24,245 Wonder why! 268 00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:30,423 Were y'all usin' some drugs you brought in from California by any chance? 269 00:20:30,495 --> 00:20:33,293 Just some Beaujolais. 270 00:20:33,365 --> 00:20:35,856 Beaujolais? 271 00:20:35,934 --> 00:20:38,596 It's a pretty popular drug made from grapes? 272 00:20:38,670 --> 00:20:41,468 - You feel like makin' a statement? - A statement? 273 00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:48,342 "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country." 274 00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:51,280 I guess you just wanna make it hard on everybody. 275 00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:56,879 Well, let's see how you feel after some time in the tank. Y'all come. 276 00:20:56,955 --> 00:20:58,889 All of us? Just you. 277 00:20:58,957 --> 00:21:02,358 - What's the charge? - Pissin' me off. 278 00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:04,793 Is that a felony or a misdemeanor? That's it! 279 00:21:08,233 --> 00:21:11,999 You're cleaner than most of the ones we get around here. 280 00:21:12,070 --> 00:21:16,564 You smell nice. I expect you'll be popular. 281 00:21:16,642 --> 00:21:18,803 Do you realize you have to read me my rights? 282 00:21:18,877 --> 00:21:22,313 Or at least find someone who can read to do it for you. 283 00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:31,919 A little gamy in here. Not much ventilation, huh? 284 00:21:33,225 --> 00:21:35,159 How's the chow? 285 00:21:43,735 --> 00:21:48,195 You know, you really shouldn't wear so much eye makeup. It makes you look cheap. 286 00:21:48,273 --> 00:21:50,935 You're sittin' on my bunk. 287 00:21:51,009 --> 00:21:53,569 Sorry. Shut up! 288 00:21:57,649 --> 00:21:59,583 Take your pants off. 289 00:22:03,255 --> 00:22:06,281 Ah, I don't even know your name. 290 00:22:06,358 --> 00:22:08,451 Bend over. 291 00:22:08,527 --> 00:22:11,587 Ben? Nice to meet you. Victor Hugo. 292 00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:15,599 You wouldn't happen to have a middle name, would you? Everybody else here seems to. 293 00:22:15,667 --> 00:22:19,728 - What are you in for, Ben? - Molesting a dead horse. 294 00:22:19,805 --> 00:22:23,297 Ooh, there's no crime in that. 295 00:22:23,375 --> 00:22:27,368 That's your right as an American. I'm tryin' to cut down myself. 296 00:22:27,446 --> 00:22:31,906 His missus hit him on the head with a ball pein hammer whilst he was eatin' sausage... 297 00:22:31,983 --> 00:22:35,578 and almost choked him to death. 298 00:22:35,654 --> 00:22:41,149 Okay, beautiful, let's hope another long night in the tank has sobered you up. 299 00:22:44,796 --> 00:22:47,128 Ben? 300 00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:50,635 If I don't hear from you on Valentine's Day, I'll be very disappointed. 301 00:22:55,073 --> 00:22:58,236 Mr. Johnson, I'm surprised to see you here. 302 00:22:58,310 --> 00:23:02,303 Judge Watkins usually assigns these small potatoes to Billy Ray. 303 00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:07,250 Well, he's on vacation. This is the price I pay for the proximity of my office. 304 00:23:07,319 --> 00:23:09,583 Excuse me. Sir? 305 00:23:09,654 --> 00:23:12,714 You don't have a card, do you? Or a price list? 306 00:23:12,791 --> 00:23:16,557 Well, matter of fact, I do. 307 00:23:17,829 --> 00:23:20,992 I'm Hamilton Johnson. I'm an attorney at law. 308 00:23:21,066 --> 00:23:25,025 You take other cases or you just specialize in transvestite necrophiliacs? 309 00:23:25,103 --> 00:23:27,571 Not enough evidence to hold you. 310 00:23:27,639 --> 00:23:32,599 Just a petty form of intimidation putting you in a cell with that Neanderthal. 311 00:23:32,677 --> 00:23:36,306 She wasn't so bad. If she'd just fix up her hair and shave her back. 312 00:23:36,381 --> 00:23:40,909 It's so embarrassin', this sort of thing still goes on in the New South. 313 00:23:40,986 --> 00:23:46,424 'Course, 20 years ago a Yankee like you could've been lyin' in the ditch. 314 00:23:46,491 --> 00:23:49,119 I'm assumin', of course, 315 00:23:49,194 --> 00:23:53,096 that you had nothin' whatsoever to do with the death of Amanda Ray. 316 00:23:53,165 --> 00:23:56,464 Sure hope not. Hop in. 317 00:23:56,535 --> 00:23:59,436 I was shocked to hear about this. 318 00:23:59,504 --> 00:24:01,438 She was such a dear friend. 319 00:24:01,506 --> 00:24:03,440 So tragic... 320 00:24:03,508 --> 00:24:07,740 when this happens to somebody so young and healthy. 321 00:24:07,813 --> 00:24:11,476 Was she feelin' all right last night? She felt great to me. 322 00:24:11,550 --> 00:24:15,748 Just smell that soft Southern air. 323 00:24:15,821 --> 00:24:20,758 It's so sad to see this beautiful pastoral countryside... 324 00:24:20,826 --> 00:24:25,092 blighted by the greed of a few men in pursuit of the almighty dollar. 325 00:24:25,163 --> 00:24:28,030 That's my place over there. 326 00:24:28,099 --> 00:24:32,399 The trees just beyond it screen off the Bibleland Amusement Park in the daytime, 327 00:24:32,471 --> 00:24:34,701 but at night, they do make a hell of a racket. 328 00:24:41,580 --> 00:24:45,607 - Thanks for everything, Hamilton. - Most welcome. Just call me Ham. 329 00:24:47,085 --> 00:24:49,781 Ham, call me Fletch. 330 00:24:49,855 --> 00:24:54,554 All right, Fletch. Anything I can do to help ya. 331 00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:57,853 Fletch! 332 00:24:57,929 --> 00:25:00,921 - Might I give you some personal advice? - Is it free? 333 00:25:00,999 --> 00:25:05,299 To the sheriff and his sort of people, you're an outsider. 334 00:25:05,370 --> 00:25:07,702 Guilty in spite of the law. 335 00:25:07,772 --> 00:25:10,707 Should I get outta town before sundown? 336 00:25:10,775 --> 00:25:13,369 It's not that bad, but... 337 00:25:13,445 --> 00:25:17,142 if I were you, lookin' for peace and quiet... 338 00:25:17,215 --> 00:25:20,810 Well, they can make it a might uncomfortable for ya. 339 00:25:20,886 --> 00:25:23,821 It's gonna take time. Thanks, Ham. 340 00:25:23,889 --> 00:25:26,016 Bye. 341 00:25:26,091 --> 00:25:28,116 My pleasure. 342 00:25:28,193 --> 00:25:31,253 Anything I can do for ya. 343 00:25:48,580 --> 00:25:53,779 Welcome back. I thought you run off for good. Does this car run? 344 00:25:53,852 --> 00:25:58,846 Yeah, but Miss Belle stopped drivin' it when the brakes ran out. 345 00:25:58,924 --> 00:26:01,791 I run a few errands from time to time, 346 00:26:01,860 --> 00:26:04,852 but if you wanna stop it, you got to think ahead. 347 00:26:06,431 --> 00:26:11,130 Hmm. I finally got the place straightened out for you. 348 00:26:11,202 --> 00:26:14,171 Mm-hmm. When was that? Back in 1970? 349 00:26:14,239 --> 00:26:19,677 Your Aunt Belle, she lived in this one room. Didn't take up much space. 350 00:26:19,744 --> 00:26:21,678 Calculus? Hmm? 351 00:26:21,746 --> 00:26:24,010 You don't see a spider, do you? 352 00:26:25,684 --> 00:26:31,486 Spiders is good. They eats the cockroaches. Yeah, sure they do. 353 00:26:31,556 --> 00:26:33,990 Mister Owl. 354 00:26:34,059 --> 00:26:37,517 This is more like it. This is what I came here for. 355 00:26:37,596 --> 00:26:41,157 Yes, sir. Peace and quiet. 356 00:26:41,232 --> 00:26:45,896 Scum, scum, scum.! Go back to where you come.! 357 00:26:45,971 --> 00:26:48,963 - Friends of yours? - Nothin' to me. 358 00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:51,634 "The loyal sons of the... 359 00:26:51,710 --> 00:26:55,612 Buford, where's the cross. Did you bring the cross? 360 00:26:55,680 --> 00:27:00,777 "White race will not allow any kind of alien infection... 361 00:27:01,953 --> 00:27:04,251 to invade our beloved land." 362 00:27:06,157 --> 00:27:11,390 Scum, scum, scum. Go back to where you come. 363 00:27:11,463 --> 00:27:15,900 Let's do it together. Scum, scum, scum. Go back... 364 00:27:15,967 --> 00:27:19,903 Get the hell outta here and go home! Scum! Pigs! 365 00:27:19,971 --> 00:27:21,905 Sorry I'm late. 366 00:27:21,973 --> 00:27:25,067 Who goes there? Henry Himmler. 367 00:27:25,143 --> 00:27:28,408 What klavan claims you? California klavan, Cucamonga. 368 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,414 California? 369 00:27:30,482 --> 00:27:33,747 Yeah. I was passing through town and was lookin' for something to do this evening. 370 00:27:33,818 --> 00:27:36,286 There was nothing goin' on at the Rotary Club. I heard about this. 371 00:27:36,354 --> 00:27:39,187 Welcome, Henry. I'm the Grand Kleagle. 372 00:27:39,257 --> 00:27:41,191 Oh. 373 00:27:46,998 --> 00:27:50,297 California thing. Pig-faced scum! 374 00:27:50,368 --> 00:27:55,601 What's the occasion here? Oh, some undesirable carpetbagger... I think. 375 00:27:55,674 --> 00:28:01,306 Damn! Boys, I just got a closer peek. There's nobody in there. 376 00:28:01,379 --> 00:28:05,577 We're wasting our time. 377 00:28:09,554 --> 00:28:14,116 - And I washed all these sheets.! - Wh-Who's this? 378 00:28:14,192 --> 00:28:18,288 Oh. Sorry. Hi, fellas. Hank Himmler. 379 00:28:18,363 --> 00:28:20,228 Hi, Hank. 380 00:28:20,298 --> 00:28:25,497 The cross won't burn, nobody home. Hell, it ain't like it used to be. 381 00:28:25,570 --> 00:28:28,004 You said it. 382 00:28:28,073 --> 00:28:33,136 I couldn't get more than 13 guys out here tonight. Five of them are green recruits. 383 00:28:33,211 --> 00:28:35,543 Kinda stand-ins, you know what I mean? Yeah. 384 00:28:35,613 --> 00:28:38,912 We call 'em Klookies. Klookies? 385 00:28:38,983 --> 00:28:43,784 That's good! Of course, it's just a contract job. 386 00:28:43,855 --> 00:28:45,789 Yeah. Contract job? 387 00:28:45,857 --> 00:28:49,918 Yeah.! We've been havin' a terrible time down here. We've had to rent out. 388 00:28:56,167 --> 00:28:58,362 Here I come! 389 00:29:00,739 --> 00:29:03,833 Gene Hackman, kick your ass. 390 00:29:03,908 --> 00:29:06,035 They're speakin' some kind of African dialect! 391 00:29:13,585 --> 00:29:15,519 Hi. 392 00:29:33,538 --> 00:29:35,472 'Morning. 393 00:29:35,540 --> 00:29:38,031 - Mr. Fletcher? - As far as you know. 394 00:29:38,109 --> 00:29:40,839 I'm Becky Ann Culpepper. Thibodaux Realty. 395 00:29:40,912 --> 00:29:45,940 I'd offer you some coffee and eggs Benedict, but we're all out of Benedict. 396 00:29:46,017 --> 00:29:47,644 Thanks. I've already eaten. 397 00:29:47,719 --> 00:29:50,210 What can I do to... for you? 398 00:29:50,288 --> 00:29:55,316 Mr. Fletcher, you may have heard that there's a party interested in acquiring your property. 399 00:29:55,393 --> 00:29:57,691 A substantial offer. 400 00:29:59,097 --> 00:30:01,691 How substantial? 401 00:30:01,766 --> 00:30:03,825 $250,000. 402 00:30:03,902 --> 00:30:07,429 Whew! I don't know. 403 00:30:07,505 --> 00:30:10,440 I had big plans for this place. 404 00:30:10,508 --> 00:30:13,568 Mini mall with a yogurt bar and a tanning parlor. 405 00:30:13,645 --> 00:30:16,876 Well, Mr. Fletcher, all I know is $250,000... 406 00:30:16,948 --> 00:30:20,850 is a mighty generous price for land in this area. 407 00:30:20,919 --> 00:30:25,015 Who's your client? I'm not at liberty to say. 408 00:30:25,089 --> 00:30:27,922 Well, then I'm not at liberty to sell. 409 00:30:27,992 --> 00:30:29,960 This is a tremendous opportunity. 410 00:30:30,028 --> 00:30:34,226 I'll tell you what. I'll consult with my people who will contact their people, 411 00:30:34,299 --> 00:30:36,426 and they'll get in touch with your people. 412 00:30:36,501 --> 00:30:38,799 Who are your people? 413 00:30:38,870 --> 00:30:43,398 - Who are yours? - As I said, I have to keep that confidential. 414 00:30:43,474 --> 00:30:48,537 Very well. I'll just have my people contact each other. Keep 'em busy. 415 00:30:48,613 --> 00:30:51,810 All right. Well, just keep me in mind. Here's my card. 416 00:30:51,883 --> 00:30:53,817 Oh, I'll keep you in mind. 417 00:30:55,053 --> 00:30:57,078 Hope we can do this again sometime soon. 418 00:30:58,223 --> 00:31:00,316 In about 10 minutes? 419 00:31:09,367 --> 00:31:13,201 That night I decided to return to the scene of the crime. 420 00:31:13,271 --> 00:31:17,173 It gave me a chance to check out my new car and practice my parallel parking. 421 00:31:27,151 --> 00:31:30,678 So far the only really good suspect in Amanda's death was me, 422 00:31:30,755 --> 00:31:34,156 and I was pretty sure that I didn't do it. 423 00:31:34,225 --> 00:31:37,558 Amanda knew more than she'd let on, but the only clue she'd left me... 424 00:31:37,629 --> 00:31:41,497 was a reference to Aunt Belle changing her will just before she died. 425 00:31:43,301 --> 00:31:46,600 I knew the local police force was watching her place carefully... 426 00:31:46,671 --> 00:31:49,504 so there'd be no trouble getting in. 427 00:31:49,574 --> 00:31:53,510 Over the years I found Mr. Underhill's credit card to be a useful tool... 428 00:31:53,578 --> 00:31:55,842 much like Underhill himself. 429 00:32:09,928 --> 00:32:13,728 As usual, I was willing to risk my life just to get a peek into a filing cabinet. 430 00:32:13,798 --> 00:32:18,235 I love them when they're unlocked, neatly organized and tell me what I wanna know. 431 00:32:18,303 --> 00:32:20,635 Belle's legal files were in good order... 432 00:32:20,705 --> 00:32:23,674 with the exception of something missing under the heading of "Bluebird. '" 433 00:32:26,311 --> 00:32:28,802 My aunt had almost left Belle Isle to some minister. 434 00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:32,907 Obviously at one time he must have touched her deeply. 435 00:32:32,984 --> 00:32:35,851 Since she changed her mind, I guess he didn't touch her deeply enough... 436 00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:37,854 or in the right place. 437 00:32:44,495 --> 00:32:48,226 Thank you very much. Couldn't find that light switch. 438 00:32:48,299 --> 00:32:52,599 What the hell you doin' here? This is a restricted area. Didn't you see the sign? 439 00:32:52,670 --> 00:32:57,039 Signs? Signs! That's all I see is signs. Look at this. 440 00:32:57,108 --> 00:33:00,942 Stressed out "dormants" on the windows, walls that are deplaning to an alarming degree. 441 00:33:01,012 --> 00:33:04,846 Deplaning? This house is obviously infested with reticulermes Mario Cuomos. 442 00:33:04,916 --> 00:33:07,384 What's that? What's what? 443 00:33:07,452 --> 00:33:10,421 Reticulermes. You can't even say it yourself. 444 00:33:10,488 --> 00:33:13,616 They are deadly African microscopic termites. 445 00:33:13,691 --> 00:33:17,218 They can eat a hundred times their weight in five minutes. 446 00:33:17,295 --> 00:33:19,661 Much like yourself. From the look of things, I'd say... 447 00:33:19,731 --> 00:33:22,359 this place is about ready to collapse. Who are you? 448 00:33:22,433 --> 00:33:26,062 Billie Jean King, Bug Busters. My van is parked out front. 449 00:33:26,137 --> 00:33:28,833 Mr. King, I don't know nothin' about no Bug Busters. 450 00:33:28,906 --> 00:33:33,206 The surgeon general was right. They've been mighty busy here. 451 00:33:35,446 --> 00:33:39,348 The only time you can catch 'em is at night. 452 00:33:41,219 --> 00:33:44,450 Aha! I got one! See that? 453 00:33:44,522 --> 00:33:48,083 These little buggers are the piranhas of the insect world. 454 00:33:48,159 --> 00:33:50,753 The only thing they like better than wood is human flesh. Really? 455 00:33:50,828 --> 00:33:53,456 You bet. If you can't see it, how do you know you got one? 456 00:33:53,531 --> 00:33:57,729 I'm glad I asked that question. They make this horrible high-pitched noise. 457 00:33:57,802 --> 00:34:02,136 It's kinda like a tiny little scream. Can you hear that? 458 00:34:02,206 --> 00:34:05,073 Can you hear that? It's like a tiny little piglet. 459 00:34:05,143 --> 00:34:09,239 No? Uh-oh. I seem to have dropped it in your ear. You what? 460 00:34:09,313 --> 00:34:11,247 That's all right. 461 00:34:11,315 --> 00:34:16,150 We better get that. Can't let that nest in there. They multiply by masturbation. 462 00:34:16,220 --> 00:34:19,212 The only way to get that out is to get as close to the floor as you can. 463 00:34:19,290 --> 00:34:22,726 Go on down to the floor. That's right. They're drawn to the floorboards. 464 00:34:22,794 --> 00:34:25,592 Now shake your head like you're trying to get water out of your ear. 465 00:34:25,663 --> 00:34:29,497 That's good. But hit it... No, hit it harder. This side. That's right. 466 00:34:29,567 --> 00:34:33,196 Now make that scream. That'll draw 'em out. Squeal like a pig. 467 00:34:33,271 --> 00:34:36,138 A little higher. Hey, I found the queen! 468 00:34:36,207 --> 00:34:39,574 I found the queen! I don't believe it. No one's ever found a queen. 469 00:34:39,644 --> 00:34:42,169 I gotta get this to the lab and get a stool sample. 470 00:34:52,924 --> 00:34:56,826 After my close call with Miss Piggy, I couldn't wait to get home. 471 00:34:56,894 --> 00:34:58,885 My head was filled with decorating ideas. 472 00:34:58,963 --> 00:35:03,161 I didn't have a lot of money, but I could move the pool closer to the house. 473 00:35:09,073 --> 00:35:13,134 I could see I wasn't gonna get much privacy. 474 00:35:55,486 --> 00:35:58,080 - Who's there? - It's Avon calling. 475 00:35:59,257 --> 00:36:01,054 Oh.! It's you.! 476 00:36:01,125 --> 00:36:05,789 - I'd like to talk to you for a minute. - Yeah, come on in. 477 00:36:05,863 --> 00:36:08,229 Come on in. Have a seat. Make yourself at home. 478 00:36:08,299 --> 00:36:12,565 What's on your mind? 479 00:36:12,637 --> 00:36:14,867 Well... 480 00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:19,575 What do you do? Mud wrestle in this thing? 481 00:36:19,644 --> 00:36:22,374 I'm sorry about that, but I won it in a raffle. 482 00:36:22,446 --> 00:36:27,884 Must be an art to sitting in one of these. Lost art. 483 00:36:27,952 --> 00:36:31,080 You get the Lakers? I'm lucky if I can get Wheel of Fortune. 484 00:36:31,155 --> 00:36:34,147 Do you know any reason why somebody would want to buy this land? 485 00:36:34,225 --> 00:36:36,159 Insect research. 486 00:36:36,227 --> 00:36:38,787 Boston two-and-a-halfback of the Yankees. 487 00:36:38,863 --> 00:36:40,797 I have an offer for $250,000. 488 00:36:40,865 --> 00:36:46,394 Take the money and run! What you thinkin'? 489 00:36:46,470 --> 00:36:49,564 What do you know about this Farnsworth Ministry? 490 00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:54,407 Jimmy Lee Farnsworth? Down here everybody knows about him. 491 00:36:54,478 --> 00:36:57,709 Your Aunt Belle used to watch him when she was laid up. 492 00:36:57,782 --> 00:37:01,240 ...And that is have you've been saved? 493 00:37:03,154 --> 00:37:06,783 I know that there are a lot of you out there tonight... 494 00:37:06,857 --> 00:37:11,954 that the devil has got a good, firm grip around your neck and is choking you to death.! 495 00:37:12,029 --> 00:37:13,758 Amen! 496 00:37:13,831 --> 00:37:16,322 I want you to send whatever you can afford. 497 00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:18,698 If you've got a thousand dollars in the bank, 498 00:37:18,769 --> 00:37:21,932 don't be afraid to send the whole thousand dollars. 499 00:37:22,006 --> 00:37:26,033 I need your money. Bibleland is only halfway there. 500 00:37:26,110 --> 00:37:29,705 Bible... land. The most important attraction... 501 00:37:29,780 --> 00:37:32,010 since the crucifixion itself. 502 00:37:32,083 --> 00:37:34,608 Immediate seating for the 5:00 service. 503 00:37:34,685 --> 00:37:37,153 The 5:00 service is about to begin. 504 00:37:37,221 --> 00:37:39,985 Immediate seating for the 5:00 service. 505 00:37:40,057 --> 00:37:43,185 Welcome, sinner. Praise the Lord! 506 00:37:43,261 --> 00:37:46,924 Bless you, bless her, bless him. Hallelujah! Name please. 507 00:37:46,998 --> 00:37:51,059 Irwin Fletcher. Irwin M. Fletcher. Irwin Mahatma Fletcher. 508 00:37:51,135 --> 00:37:53,069 Address. Seven. 509 00:37:53,137 --> 00:37:56,334 It's time for the 4,323rd edition... 510 00:37:56,407 --> 00:37:59,706 of the Farnsworth Television Ministry with... 511 00:37:59,777 --> 00:38:03,144 Mimsy Carlyle, God's own songbird. 512 00:38:03,214 --> 00:38:06,581 The heavenly feet of Damon Feather. 513 00:38:08,085 --> 00:38:11,816 Mr. Coco. The Ringfield Revivalists. 514 00:38:11,889 --> 00:38:15,882 The Bradley Family Singers and Ted Medly and the band. 515 00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:21,159 And now, the host of our show, the ministry's founder and your friend... 516 00:38:21,232 --> 00:38:26,260 Mr. Good News himself, the Reverend Jimmy Lee Farnsworth. 517 00:38:37,448 --> 00:38:42,215 I know that there is someone out there tonight... 518 00:38:42,286 --> 00:38:45,687 who needs to step forward. 519 00:38:45,756 --> 00:38:47,690 Lyda Pearl Shindley. 520 00:38:47,758 --> 00:38:49,385 Me? 521 00:38:49,460 --> 00:38:54,056 Lyda Pearl, come on down here.! Give her a big hand, folks.! Make her welcome.! 522 00:38:54,131 --> 00:38:56,929 All right.! 523 00:38:59,303 --> 00:39:01,737 Bless you. God bless you. 524 00:39:03,441 --> 00:39:07,741 I know that you suffered a terrible tragedy when you lost Jo Bob... 525 00:39:07,812 --> 00:39:11,976 in the merry-go-round accident at the State Fair. I did. 526 00:39:12,049 --> 00:39:16,042 I also know that Jo Bob left you financially stable. 527 00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:18,054 But answer me this one question. 528 00:39:18,122 --> 00:39:22,388 Has all of them riches brung you happiness, child? 529 00:39:22,460 --> 00:39:24,894 No, they haven't. I've sinned. 530 00:39:24,962 --> 00:39:27,590 We've all sinned. 531 00:39:27,665 --> 00:39:31,499 I know, but I've really sinned. 532 00:39:31,569 --> 00:39:34,902 Please, God, have her not mention my name. 533 00:39:34,972 --> 00:39:38,840 Say it aloud so your soul might be cleansed. 534 00:39:38,909 --> 00:39:43,005 I'm so ashamed. I slept with my best friend's husband. 535 00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:46,948 You are forgiven. Praise the Lord. Amen! 536 00:39:47,017 --> 00:39:51,750 - And I also slept with my Uncle James. - You are forgiven, child. 537 00:39:51,822 --> 00:39:55,883 Ladies and gentlemen, doesn't it take a tremendous amount of courage... 538 00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:59,396 to come up here on nationwide cable hookup... 539 00:39:59,463 --> 00:40:02,364 and confess to human frailties? 540 00:40:02,433 --> 00:40:06,494 And I also shoplifted this blouse and... You've been forgiven. 541 00:40:06,570 --> 00:40:08,800 Demons out! 542 00:40:08,873 --> 00:40:12,138 Praise be.! Praise the Lord.! 543 00:40:12,209 --> 00:40:17,943 - Ladies and gentlemen, praise be, praise the Lord. - Bravo! 544 00:40:18,015 --> 00:40:21,314 Surely Lyda Pearl was not alone. 545 00:40:21,385 --> 00:40:25,913 Surely there is someone else out there whose life is full of confusion. 546 00:40:25,990 --> 00:40:29,289 Irwin M. Fletcher just inherited Belle Isle. I sense grief. 547 00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:32,625 I sense deep grief and loneliness. 548 00:40:32,696 --> 00:40:35,893 I sense a recent bereavement. 549 00:40:35,966 --> 00:40:39,868 Someone who has lost an uncle or an aunt. 550 00:40:39,937 --> 00:40:42,497 Mr. Fletcher. 551 00:40:44,108 --> 00:40:48,477 - Mr. Irwin M. Fletcher. - That's me. 552 00:40:48,546 --> 00:40:50,980 Are you out there? Step forward, young man. 553 00:40:51,048 --> 00:40:54,848 The Lord's calling to you. Come on up here. Give him a big hand. 554 00:40:54,919 --> 00:40:58,821 Make him welcome. Come on down here. 555 00:41:04,829 --> 00:41:09,732 Your Aunt Belle recently passed away, didn't she, son? Yes, she did. Yeah. 556 00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:14,100 Are you still grieving in your heart, son? 557 00:41:14,171 --> 00:41:16,139 Absolutely. 558 00:41:16,207 --> 00:41:20,166 And even her generous gift to ya of the ancestral home, 559 00:41:20,244 --> 00:41:22,178 the beautiful Belle Isle, 560 00:41:22,246 --> 00:41:27,878 has not eased the grief, pain and sufferin' in your heart now, has it? 561 00:41:27,952 --> 00:41:30,113 Not a hell of a lot. No. 562 00:41:30,187 --> 00:41:33,679 Irwin, admit that you are a sinner. 563 00:41:36,126 --> 00:41:41,291 Uh, well I've sinned. Didn't take any Polaroids or anything. 564 00:41:41,365 --> 00:41:44,459 But... I've sinned. Yeah. 565 00:41:44,535 --> 00:41:47,470 The Lord forgives ya! 566 00:41:47,538 --> 00:41:51,497 Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. 567 00:41:51,575 --> 00:41:54,203 Thank you. Amen. 568 00:41:54,278 --> 00:41:57,076 What? Other sins? 569 00:41:57,147 --> 00:42:02,278 Uh, I parked in a handicapped spot on my way over here. 570 00:42:02,353 --> 00:42:04,548 Actually on a handicapped person. 571 00:42:04,622 --> 00:42:08,786 I told him I'd be out in five minutes so that's not such a big deal. 572 00:42:08,859 --> 00:42:14,126 There have been other things. They're personal, so I wouldn't wanna get into it on TV. 573 00:42:14,198 --> 00:42:17,133 But I have sinned and I'm sorry about it. Thanks. 574 00:42:17,201 --> 00:42:20,193 God forgives ya! Amen.! 575 00:42:20,271 --> 00:42:23,968 The good Lord is gonna ease... 576 00:42:24,041 --> 00:42:27,272 the pain and sufferin' in your heart... 577 00:42:27,344 --> 00:42:29,972 with a bright light of grace. 578 00:42:30,047 --> 00:42:35,280 Look out, you demons! Demons, demons, out! 579 00:42:36,754 --> 00:42:39,951 Oh! That was great. 580 00:42:40,024 --> 00:42:42,515 Praise the Lord. 581 00:42:42,593 --> 00:42:46,859 Another soul saved by Jimmy Lee Farnsworth. How about that? 582 00:42:46,931 --> 00:42:50,799 I dangled Belle Isle like bait in front of Jimmy Lee and he took the hook. 583 00:42:50,868 --> 00:42:55,168 I could tell, at the heart, he was a deeply religious man and I liked his teeth. 584 00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:57,332 Once we've had a chance to expand, 585 00:42:57,408 --> 00:43:00,775 Bibleland's gonna be like some kind of heaven on earth... 586 00:43:00,844 --> 00:43:03,642 if it isn't already. 587 00:43:03,714 --> 00:43:06,478 - There's the hotel. - Hi, Reverend. 588 00:43:06,550 --> 00:43:09,519 We call it the Heavenly Hilton and Convention Center. 589 00:43:09,587 --> 00:43:13,353 Beyond that is the Farnsworth Bible College. 590 00:43:13,424 --> 00:43:16,393 If you look down the road, you see the Jump for Jesus Trampoline Center. 591 00:43:16,460 --> 00:43:19,623 - What do you think? - It's unbelievable. 592 00:43:19,697 --> 00:43:22,723 You don't suppose I use too many photographs of myself, do ya? 593 00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:26,327 No! No! It worked for the Ayatollah. 594 00:43:26,403 --> 00:43:29,167 Mr. Fletcher, your Belle Isle's a bit rundown. 595 00:43:29,239 --> 00:43:31,799 That sucker's gonna eat you alive in maintenance. 596 00:43:31,875 --> 00:43:35,174 You don't know how much your land would mean to our ministry. 597 00:43:35,245 --> 00:43:39,648 And to God, too, of course. After all, he does give us our guidance now, doesn't he? 598 00:43:39,717 --> 00:43:41,810 - Amen! - You bet your ass. 599 00:43:42,453 --> 00:43:45,013 Like my mother used to say, "There's a tick for every dog. '" 600 00:43:45,089 --> 00:43:47,023 What did your mother mean by that? 601 00:43:47,091 --> 00:43:52,119 Why in God's name you let Farnsworth's ministry burrow into your fur? 602 00:43:52,196 --> 00:43:57,395 Why would you even think of givin' away your property when you got a big cash offer on it? 603 00:43:57,468 --> 00:44:00,164 I don't know. I guess I thought, after a lifetime of hedonism, 604 00:44:00,237 --> 00:44:03,536 it was time to rededicate my life. 605 00:44:03,607 --> 00:44:07,907 Nah, I just wanted to see what would happen if I went along with him. 606 00:44:07,978 --> 00:44:11,675 Well, it happened. The sheriff's office called. 607 00:44:11,749 --> 00:44:14,115 The charges against you have been dropped. 608 00:44:14,184 --> 00:44:15,947 Is that right? Mm-hmm. 609 00:44:16,020 --> 00:44:20,013 The ministry has a good deal of influence around here. 610 00:44:20,090 --> 00:44:22,786 I suppose you've heard that your... 611 00:44:22,860 --> 00:44:28,196 aunt was under considerable emotional strain in the weeks before she died? 612 00:44:28,265 --> 00:44:31,132 Yeah, I've heard that. 613 00:44:31,201 --> 00:44:33,931 So was my mother. 614 00:44:34,004 --> 00:44:37,405 They took advantage of her. These Holy Rollers. 615 00:44:37,474 --> 00:44:42,138 When she was at death's door, they preyed on her faith and her fear. 616 00:44:42,212 --> 00:44:44,578 When she was no longer able to make rational decisions, 617 00:44:44,648 --> 00:44:48,311 persuaded her to give away our land for that amusement park. 618 00:44:48,385 --> 00:44:52,788 My guess is that your speedy conversion and your promised gift... 619 00:44:52,856 --> 00:44:57,122 played no small part in the charges against you being dropped. 620 00:45:00,764 --> 00:45:02,664 Well, whatever. 621 00:45:02,733 --> 00:45:05,668 At least I'm off the hook. 622 00:45:05,736 --> 00:45:09,729 And who or what do they think is responsible for Amanda Ray's death? 623 00:45:09,807 --> 00:45:12,105 The autopsy report come in today. 624 00:45:12,176 --> 00:45:15,668 They said she died of a heart attack. Natural causes. 625 00:45:15,746 --> 00:45:18,909 Either she had some congenital defect... 626 00:45:18,982 --> 00:45:22,975 or... you're one hell of a lover. 627 00:45:25,022 --> 00:45:26,956 Probably both. 628 00:45:27,024 --> 00:45:32,690 I needed more background on Farnsworth so I called Frank for a favor. 629 00:45:32,763 --> 00:45:35,857 Maybe I should've asked him to check out Calculus Entterby. 630 00:45:35,933 --> 00:45:39,061 I liked him, but I wasn't buying his Amos and Andy routine. 631 00:45:39,136 --> 00:45:41,400 He seemed a lot smarter than that. 632 00:45:41,472 --> 00:45:45,670 I never took you to be no murderer. That's a relief. 633 00:45:45,743 --> 00:45:49,509 So who's the odds on favorite now? 634 00:45:49,580 --> 00:45:51,844 Nobody. 635 00:45:51,915 --> 00:45:54,884 They're sayin' she dropped dead in her sleep. Yeah! 636 00:45:57,421 --> 00:45:59,355 The odds on that? 637 00:45:59,423 --> 00:46:01,983 Same as catchin' a bass this afternoon. 638 00:46:04,194 --> 00:46:06,355 What's that? 639 00:46:06,430 --> 00:46:09,194 About 258,000 to one. 640 00:46:18,609 --> 00:46:20,873 You sure you don't wanna back out? 641 00:46:20,944 --> 00:46:23,708 I'm in. 642 00:46:25,549 --> 00:46:28,416 This be the morgue? Have the police come yet? 643 00:46:28,485 --> 00:46:32,922 What? The police! They was bringing a doctor to make a death certificate. 644 00:46:32,990 --> 00:46:36,687 You got a stiff, boy, you're in the right place. Where is it? 645 00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:39,160 In my Cadillac. 646 00:46:39,229 --> 00:46:42,528 Put him on the gurney. Take him in the back with the rest of'em. 647 00:46:42,599 --> 00:46:45,067 Don't bother me. I'm watchin The Terminator. 648 00:46:45,135 --> 00:46:47,899 You better put a steerin'wheel on that. Excuse me, sir. 649 00:46:47,971 --> 00:46:50,838 I'll be right back now. 650 00:46:52,910 --> 00:46:57,006 - What's that stickin' out? - His lucky golf cap. 651 00:46:57,080 --> 00:46:59,014 Hey.! 652 00:47:01,585 --> 00:47:04,713 You gotta tag his toe. 653 00:47:04,788 --> 00:47:08,087 - He got a name? - Eldridge Cleaver. 654 00:47:08,158 --> 00:47:11,753 Take him in the back, strip him. Hold it. 655 00:47:11,829 --> 00:47:16,630 Let's see what Mr. Cleaver has, or should I say, had. 656 00:47:22,005 --> 00:47:24,439 Wait a minute. Shouldn't I get that? 657 00:47:24,508 --> 00:47:26,476 Tell you what. I'll make you a deal. 658 00:47:26,543 --> 00:47:31,446 You call me whenever you want, I'll tell you what time it is. 659 00:47:31,515 --> 00:47:34,143 Now get movin! 660 00:47:40,324 --> 00:47:42,918 - Eldridge Cleaver. - Shh. 661 00:47:44,228 --> 00:47:46,162 Good evening, Mr. Hoffa. 662 00:47:46,230 --> 00:47:49,757 Amanda Ross. Amanda Ross. Five. 663 00:48:28,906 --> 00:48:32,034 Can I take a look? Yeah, go on. 664 00:48:51,695 --> 00:48:53,390 Boo! 665 00:48:53,463 --> 00:48:55,954 Any mail for me? 666 00:48:56,033 --> 00:48:58,160 You don't have a Tic-Tac, do you? 667 00:48:58,235 --> 00:49:00,169 What happened? I black out? 668 00:49:00,237 --> 00:49:03,035 Did I land the plane safely? Passengers hurt? 669 00:49:03,106 --> 00:49:05,006 No. Everything's okay? 670 00:49:05,075 --> 00:49:06,235 Check that air-conditioning. 671 00:49:10,781 --> 00:49:12,715 What'd you find out, Fletch? 672 00:49:12,783 --> 00:49:17,618 Cremated. I wouldn't be surprised if all the paperwork was burnt up with the body. 673 00:49:17,688 --> 00:49:19,656 The morgue proved to be a dead end. 674 00:49:19,723 --> 00:49:22,886 But I guess it is for most people. 675 00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:26,760 I had three questions. Why was I cleared in Amanda's death? 676 00:49:26,830 --> 00:49:30,231 Why, if she wasn't murdered, was the body so quickly destroyed? 677 00:49:30,300 --> 00:49:34,862 And finally, when it comes to stewed prunes, are three enough or are four too many? 678 00:49:34,938 --> 00:49:38,533 When I got back to Belle Isle, there was a cozy fire in the fireplace... 679 00:49:38,608 --> 00:49:41,099 and on the roof, on the walls and on the porch. 680 00:49:41,178 --> 00:49:43,578 It was great. 681 00:49:43,647 --> 00:49:45,581 Think maybe I should pack. 682 00:49:45,649 --> 00:49:48,015 Guess you'll be movin' in with me now. Thanks, Cal. 683 00:49:48,085 --> 00:49:51,543 Look at the bright side. You won't have to bother dusting anymore. Yes, sir! 684 00:50:01,498 --> 00:50:04,934 Here's your diet plate. 685 00:50:05,002 --> 00:50:07,994 Thank you, Miss Selma. Does everything around here come with the head still on it? 686 00:50:08,071 --> 00:50:12,565 - You bet, honey. - Glad I didn't order a hamburger. 687 00:50:12,642 --> 00:50:15,907 I'd say grace, but I don't wanna wake him up. 688 00:50:15,979 --> 00:50:18,277 Are you religious? 689 00:50:18,348 --> 00:50:21,943 I believe in a God that doesn't need heavy financing. 690 00:50:22,019 --> 00:50:24,453 How you doin', Mr. Barbour? How's it goin', Calculus? 691 00:50:24,521 --> 00:50:27,354 Fine, fine. This here's Mr. Fletcher. 692 00:50:27,424 --> 00:50:30,416 He's the new owner of Belle Isle, or whatever's left of it. 693 00:50:30,494 --> 00:50:33,292 Yeah, I heard about your fire. Sorry about that. 694 00:50:33,363 --> 00:50:37,800 You know, you've had your share of problems ever since you've been here. 695 00:50:37,868 --> 00:50:41,360 How about me and the boys showing you some real Southern hospitality? 696 00:50:41,438 --> 00:50:45,465 You ever been on a coon hunt? 697 00:50:45,542 --> 00:50:50,639 Now a coon hunt is like an English fox hunt, except we cut through all the bullshit, 698 00:50:50,714 --> 00:50:54,377 all the fancy clothes and music, all the beautiful women. 699 00:50:54,451 --> 00:50:57,614 We reduce the experience to its essence. 700 00:50:57,687 --> 00:51:00,315 Yeah, a bunch of sweaty drunks chasin' a scared animal. 701 00:51:00,390 --> 00:51:02,756 You're damn right.! 702 00:51:02,826 --> 00:51:06,057 What am I supposed to do? The dogs do most of the work. 703 00:51:06,129 --> 00:51:09,690 We just follow the dogs, they tree the coon, we get him down. 704 00:51:11,768 --> 00:51:13,861 This drug testing has gone too far. 705 00:51:13,937 --> 00:51:16,804 Take a jolt. Kick-a-poo joy juice? 706 00:51:16,873 --> 00:51:20,502 Oh, stronger than that! 707 00:51:20,577 --> 00:51:23,637 Whoo! Aren't you coming? 708 00:51:23,713 --> 00:51:27,205 Nah, it ain't safe for a black man to be chasin' around these woods at night... 709 00:51:27,284 --> 00:51:29,809 unless he be handcuffed to a white man. 710 00:51:29,886 --> 00:51:33,378 I'll see you back at... my "domiside." You want some of this? 711 00:51:43,934 --> 00:51:46,402 You haven't lived till you've been on a coon hunt, 712 00:51:46,470 --> 00:51:49,371 and after that, you don't want to. 713 00:51:49,439 --> 00:51:52,203 But it gave me a chance to snoop around the neighborhood. 714 00:51:52,275 --> 00:51:56,871 The ministry seemed so hot for all this land. Why? 715 00:51:56,947 --> 00:52:00,041 Maybe they just wanted a remote spot to bury Jim and Tammy. 716 00:52:00,117 --> 00:52:04,451 Where the hell are we? Actually, this is my place, or was. 717 00:52:04,521 --> 00:52:06,614 I ain't been on it since I sold the sucker. 718 00:52:06,690 --> 00:52:11,059 This is your property over here and that's Ham's mama's old place over there. 719 00:52:11,128 --> 00:52:13,187 Don't you think we oughta catch up with the boys? 720 00:52:13,263 --> 00:52:16,790 Damn right. There's a couple of'em I don't think I should leave alone with the dogs. 721 00:52:20,871 --> 00:52:24,329 Oh, wait up. 722 00:52:24,407 --> 00:52:27,774 Jesus! What happened to my flower garden? 723 00:52:27,844 --> 00:52:30,039 Everything's dead! 724 00:52:30,113 --> 00:52:34,015 Yo, Barbour.! Rags has got a water moccasin in his mouth. 725 00:52:34,084 --> 00:52:37,520 Hey, we in luck. You wanna jerk the head off a snake? 726 00:52:37,587 --> 00:52:39,521 Oh, no. I gave it up for Lent. 727 00:52:39,589 --> 00:52:43,548 I'm not gonna miss the fun. Hey, guys, wait up! 728 00:54:00,303 --> 00:54:03,568 I never liked guns, especially when they're pointed at me. 729 00:54:03,640 --> 00:54:08,077 And this night a couple of people were taking pot shots in my general direction. 730 00:54:08,144 --> 00:54:10,669 It was time to get outta there. 731 00:54:10,747 --> 00:54:12,874 11:27 to be exact. 732 00:54:19,723 --> 00:54:22,089 % Na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na% % 733 00:54:25,128 --> 00:54:27,062 I was heartbroken to miss the raccoon, 734 00:54:27,130 --> 00:54:31,897 but all I wanted was a good night's sleep so I headed for Cal's water bed. 735 00:54:31,968 --> 00:54:35,199 Welcome back. Jimmy Lee was on a roll tonight. 736 00:54:35,272 --> 00:54:39,732 Ten salvations. Big bucks. You catch a coon? 737 00:54:39,809 --> 00:54:42,903 I was shot at. Somebody's sure trying to scare me off. 738 00:54:42,979 --> 00:54:45,209 And they don't mind killing me to underline the threat. 739 00:54:45,282 --> 00:54:50,481 You were shot at? Yep. Now, who would do that? 740 00:54:50,553 --> 00:54:53,579 Damn shame. I'll go outside and see what's goin' on. 741 00:55:02,832 --> 00:55:05,392 What was it? I thought I saw somethin'. 742 00:55:05,468 --> 00:55:10,371 I just fired in the air to scare whatever it was. 743 00:55:19,816 --> 00:55:23,775 Didn't sleep well that night, and it wasn't the fault of the water bed. 744 00:55:23,853 --> 00:55:27,186 Something was rotten in this whole situation. 745 00:55:27,257 --> 00:55:29,248 Figuring out that the thug who dropped my watch... 746 00:55:29,326 --> 00:55:33,262 was the same guy who stole it at the morgue didn't take Sherlock Holmes. 747 00:55:33,330 --> 00:55:36,561 Larry Holmes could've figured that out. 748 00:55:48,878 --> 00:55:53,542 I wasn't sure who'd be taking the next shot at me, so I decided to work alone. 749 00:55:55,018 --> 00:55:57,179 Fletch, perfect timing. I've got just what you asked for. 750 00:55:57,253 --> 00:56:01,349 Frank, stop salivating. I'm sending you my Laker high-tops for lab analysis. 751 00:56:01,424 --> 00:56:05,121 He's behaving very strangely. He must be in trouble. 752 00:56:05,195 --> 00:56:07,925 Somebody must be holding a gun to his head. 753 00:56:07,997 --> 00:56:12,400 Fletch, if you need rescuing, just say, 754 00:56:12,469 --> 00:56:15,927 "I believe Louisiana is the Pelican State." 755 00:56:16,005 --> 00:56:20,499 Okay, Frank. I believe Louisiana is the Pelican State... as a matter of fact. 756 00:56:20,577 --> 00:56:24,343 - What do you have on Farnsworth? - I've got everything you need. 757 00:56:24,414 --> 00:56:27,611 Jimmy Lee Farnsworth, former used-car salesman in Biloxi. 758 00:56:27,684 --> 00:56:32,348 In '77, he pleaded "no contest" to a charge of check kiting. 759 00:56:32,422 --> 00:56:37,485 '81, discovered by businessmen who helped him found the Farnsworth Television Ministry. 760 00:56:37,560 --> 00:56:40,825 Our sources indicate he may be a target of federal investigation. 761 00:56:40,897 --> 00:56:43,832 - Anything else? - Uh, two marriages. 762 00:56:43,900 --> 00:56:47,631 One daughter goes by wife's maiden name. Becky Culpepper. 763 00:56:50,173 --> 00:56:53,870 It was hard to believe that beautiful Becky was Farnsworth's daughter. 764 00:56:53,943 --> 00:56:55,877 But I wasn't gonna hold it against her. 765 00:56:55,945 --> 00:56:59,642 If I was gonna hold anything against her, it certainly wouldn't be her father. 766 00:57:18,568 --> 00:57:20,934 Fletch, I heard about the fire. I hope you're all right. 767 00:57:21,004 --> 00:57:22,938 I'm just fine. 768 00:57:23,006 --> 00:57:27,500 I was just lying in the embers of my house, trying to calm my nerves after being shot at. 769 00:57:27,577 --> 00:57:30,603 What? You were shot at? I was thinking what a good day to sell my property... 770 00:57:30,680 --> 00:57:33,376 and move back to Los Angeles. 771 00:57:33,450 --> 00:57:35,384 Is the buyer still interested? 772 00:57:36,453 --> 00:57:38,512 No, I'm afraid he withdrew. 773 00:57:38,588 --> 00:57:41,113 I still have five minutes on the meter. Let's talk in your office. 774 00:57:41,191 --> 00:57:46,652 Now, why don't you tell me who your client is? 775 00:57:46,729 --> 00:57:49,289 Is it the Farnsworth Ministry? 776 00:57:49,365 --> 00:57:52,630 Why would you say that? And who is shooting at you? 777 00:57:52,702 --> 00:57:54,727 Maybe the Reverend Farnsworth. 778 00:57:54,804 --> 00:57:58,467 Look, Jimmy Lee Farnsworth may be a lot of things, 779 00:57:58,541 --> 00:58:00,566 but he's not a murderer. 780 00:58:00,643 --> 00:58:02,543 You're right, he is many things. 781 00:58:02,612 --> 00:58:07,948 A former used-car salesman, a confessed embezzler, your father, good square dancer. 782 00:58:10,653 --> 00:58:13,781 That's right, he is my father. 783 00:58:13,857 --> 00:58:15,791 But I'm also telling you the truth. 784 00:58:15,859 --> 00:58:20,762 Becky, somebody wants my land bad enough to kill me for it. 785 00:58:20,830 --> 00:58:25,164 Now, if you don't tell me who your client is, I'm gonna find out some other way. 786 00:58:25,635 --> 00:58:28,798 It is guest healer's night with Jimmy Lee on this... 787 00:58:28,872 --> 00:58:33,502 the 4,323rd edition of our show with tonight's special guests... 788 00:58:33,576 --> 00:58:35,942 people with the healing gift. 789 00:58:36,012 --> 00:58:40,574 Excuse me. May I have your name? I'm Claude Henry... 790 00:58:40,650 --> 00:58:44,086 Claude Henry... Claude Henry. 791 00:58:44,153 --> 00:58:46,121 Claude... Claude or Clod is good. Henry. 792 00:58:46,189 --> 00:58:48,123 Henry. Smmoot. 793 00:58:48,191 --> 00:58:52,753 Henry. Smmoot. S-M-M-O-T-T. I'm sorry. Two "O's," one "T." 794 00:58:52,829 --> 00:58:55,730 I'm a guest healer. Smmoot, a guest healer. 795 00:58:55,798 --> 00:58:57,425 Yes. Healed. God bless you. 796 00:58:57,500 --> 00:58:59,434 With Mimsy Carlyle. 797 00:58:59,502 --> 00:59:03,336 Wait here. The heavenly feet... 798 00:59:03,406 --> 00:59:05,874 of Damon Feather. 799 00:59:05,942 --> 00:59:09,673 God's simian favorite, Mr. Coco. 800 00:59:09,746 --> 00:59:14,979 The guest healers who have volunteered for tonight's show will follow Jimmy Lee. 801 00:59:19,889 --> 00:59:22,790 And now the founder of our show, 802 00:59:22,859 --> 00:59:26,386 your friend, Mr. Good News himself, 803 00:59:26,462 --> 00:59:29,329 Jimmy Lee Farnsworth.! 804 00:59:47,250 --> 00:59:49,377 You know, 805 00:59:49,452 --> 00:59:54,480 I have a feeling that there's someone out there amongst us who needs to step forward. 806 00:59:54,557 --> 00:59:58,118 Gordon Joe James. 807 00:59:58,194 --> 01:00:02,494 Gordon Joe James. Who are you? 808 01:00:02,565 --> 01:00:06,228 Gordon Joe lost a limb to a pit bull. 809 01:00:06,302 --> 01:00:09,203 Gordon Joe, will you please stand and raise your right hand? 810 01:00:09,272 --> 01:00:12,400 Left hand. Excuse me, left hand. 811 01:00:12,475 --> 01:00:15,444 There you are.! 812 01:00:22,251 --> 01:00:25,516 Bibleland Two. Jimmy Lee's dream. 813 01:00:25,588 --> 01:00:28,921 He was like some deranged Walt Disney. 814 01:00:28,992 --> 01:00:31,688 It was all in front of me. Ham Johnson's place. 815 01:00:31,761 --> 01:00:33,854 His mother's bequest. 816 01:00:33,930 --> 01:00:35,795 Belle Isle. 817 01:00:35,865 --> 01:00:40,461 The numbers on the boxes were certainly not zip codes. Maybe computer codes. 818 01:00:40,536 --> 01:00:45,269 All I needed now was a computer, and a ten-year-old kid to teach me how to use it. 819 01:00:45,341 --> 01:00:48,777 % Cash or check% 820 01:00:48,845 --> 01:00:50,904 % Or MasterCard% 821 01:00:50,980 --> 01:00:54,609 % MasterCard% % 822 01:00:54,684 --> 01:00:56,709 Bobby Ralph? 823 01:00:56,786 --> 01:00:59,687 Peter Lemongello. Your house is on fire. 824 01:00:59,756 --> 01:01:02,987 What? They told me to tell you, your house is on fire. 825 01:01:03,059 --> 01:01:05,186 I'll take over. God bless you! 826 01:01:05,261 --> 01:01:08,492 God bless you for believing this shit. 827 01:01:18,041 --> 01:01:21,602 There was a new element I hadn't anticipated:: A second suspect. 828 01:01:21,678 --> 01:01:26,081 Becky's client was not the ministry, but some secret entity called Everest Development. 829 01:01:26,149 --> 01:01:27,980 She never knew who they were. 830 01:01:28,051 --> 01:01:31,851 Becky was a good girl, and wouldn't have to be spanked. Damn it. 831 01:01:32,922 --> 01:01:35,948 Who's gonna be the next one to get the call? 832 01:01:36,025 --> 01:01:38,493 Who's gonna be the next one saved? 833 01:01:41,731 --> 01:01:44,359 - Who's going to be... - T'Boo Ted Marshall. 834 01:01:44,434 --> 01:01:49,497 T'Boo Ted Marshall, are you with us tonight? 835 01:01:49,572 --> 01:01:53,372 Yes, indeed, Reverend.! But how can God help my problem? 836 01:01:53,443 --> 01:01:57,880 T'Boo Ted is a... Compulsive gambler. 837 01:01:57,947 --> 01:02:03,283 T'Boo Ted, the first you gotta do is expose that problem! 838 01:02:04,520 --> 01:02:06,454 Excuse me? 839 01:02:06,522 --> 01:02:10,219 If you can't expose that problem, at least to your family, 840 01:02:10,293 --> 01:02:15,230 it grows and grows, and becomes an even bigger problem.! 841 01:02:15,298 --> 01:02:16,890 That's true! 842 01:02:16,966 --> 01:02:20,026 He's been a compulsive gambler for 20 years. 843 01:02:20,103 --> 01:02:23,834 Because you've had this affliction for more than 20 years, 844 01:02:23,906 --> 01:02:28,343 I think you should expose that problem to us... 845 01:02:28,411 --> 01:02:30,971 right here... tonight. 846 01:02:31,047 --> 01:02:34,983 I want you to do it. The good Lord wants you to do it! 847 01:02:35,051 --> 01:02:38,543 - You really think so? - I know so! 848 01:02:39,822 --> 01:02:41,813 Do it. Do it now! 849 01:02:46,896 --> 01:02:49,831 Well, if you say so. 850 01:02:52,935 --> 01:02:55,495 Oh, God, put your pants back on.! 851 01:02:55,571 --> 01:02:59,098 Coming right back to introduce our guest healers. 852 01:02:59,175 --> 01:03:02,872 Let's welcome all of them beginning with Claude Henry Smmoot. 853 01:03:04,413 --> 01:03:06,506 Come on out, Claude! 854 01:03:06,582 --> 01:03:08,516 Here we are. I have a headache. 855 01:03:08,584 --> 01:03:10,575 No, Claude, this way. 856 01:03:13,856 --> 01:03:17,348 You're gonna do just fine. Now, get out there. Go on. 857 01:03:19,929 --> 01:03:23,092 I said, get out there now! 858 01:03:23,166 --> 01:03:26,795 Here he is! Make him welcome, folks! 859 01:03:26,869 --> 01:03:29,360 Welcome, Claude Henry. 860 01:03:29,438 --> 01:03:31,599 When was the very first time, 861 01:03:31,674 --> 01:03:36,441 the very first moment that made the difference in your life? 862 01:03:37,580 --> 01:03:40,606 Well, Jimmy Lee, I was... I was, uh, 863 01:03:40,683 --> 01:03:45,017 on my gazebo, on the roof making some repairs, 864 01:03:45,087 --> 01:03:48,545 and I was struck by lightning. 865 01:03:48,624 --> 01:03:52,754 I have had acute migraine headaches and blurred vision since then. 866 01:03:52,829 --> 01:03:55,423 But praise the Lord, that was my lucky day because... 867 01:03:55,498 --> 01:03:58,433 ever since then I have had the healing power. 868 01:03:58,501 --> 01:04:01,664 Amen. God bless you. Thank you very much. Good night. Thank you. 869 01:04:01,737 --> 01:04:04,797 Claude Henry. Good night. What? What happened? Yes? 870 01:04:04,874 --> 01:04:07,308 Before you heal another, 871 01:04:07,376 --> 01:04:10,743 would you like for me to attempt to heal your own affliction? 872 01:04:10,813 --> 01:04:14,681 No, no! No, no. No, those of us with perfect faith... 873 01:04:14,750 --> 01:04:17,275 have no need of perfect vision. 874 01:04:17,353 --> 01:04:19,617 We have no need of wisdom. 875 01:04:19,689 --> 01:04:23,523 We have no need of anything except the creature comforts and lots of them. 876 01:04:23,593 --> 01:04:27,825 Hallelujah.! Amen.! God bless you. Amen. Thank you. Hallelujah. 877 01:04:27,897 --> 01:04:32,493 Ladies and gentlemen, he sees more than he doth know. 878 01:04:32,568 --> 01:04:34,763 - Yes, I do. Amen! 879 01:04:34,837 --> 01:04:38,273 Claude Henry has the gift.! 880 01:04:38,341 --> 01:04:42,778 Would you use that gift, Claude Henry? Would you use it now? 881 01:04:46,749 --> 01:04:48,876 I guess I could. 882 01:04:48,951 --> 01:04:51,112 Praise be. 883 01:04:51,187 --> 01:04:55,681 Reverend, I sense that in our audience... 884 01:04:55,758 --> 01:04:59,660 there is a gentleman by the name of Jim Bob. 885 01:04:59,729 --> 01:05:02,823 Jim Bob, would you stand up? Would you rise, please? 886 01:05:04,700 --> 01:05:07,692 Sixteen, 17... 887 01:05:07,770 --> 01:05:12,230 I sense that Jim Bob is a young man. 888 01:05:12,308 --> 01:05:17,541 That he is between the ages of 25, 27. 889 01:05:19,916 --> 01:05:22,578 That's more like it. 890 01:05:22,652 --> 01:05:26,179 I feel the Lord is telling me that Jim Bob suffers from the same... 891 01:05:26,255 --> 01:05:31,852 Satanized affliction that I suffer from: : Migraine headaches. 892 01:05:31,928 --> 01:05:34,158 Don't you, Jim Bob? Is that you? 893 01:05:34,230 --> 01:05:36,528 Come on down, Jim Bob.! 894 01:05:36,599 --> 01:05:39,898 Praise be.! Hallelujah.! Amen.! 895 01:05:39,969 --> 01:05:42,403 Praise the Lord! Be saved! 896 01:05:42,471 --> 01:05:44,939 Jim Bob, welcome. God bless you. 897 01:05:45,007 --> 01:05:48,670 Jim Bob, how long have you had these headaches? 898 01:05:48,744 --> 01:05:53,113 About five, 10 minutes. God... help him! 899 01:05:54,750 --> 01:05:57,878 - And how do you feel now? - It's a throbbing... 900 01:05:57,954 --> 01:06:01,253 God bless you. A throbbing headache comes up through your heels, 901 01:06:01,324 --> 01:06:04,725 up through the hip bone, the knee bone, up the spine, up through your back, 902 01:06:04,794 --> 01:06:07,024 through your head like Satan was belching through you? 903 01:06:07,096 --> 01:06:09,428 - Is that it? - Exactly. 904 01:06:09,498 --> 01:06:11,363 - Do you believe? - I believe. 905 01:06:11,434 --> 01:06:16,872 He believes! Hallelujah! Amen! God bless. Amen. 906 01:06:16,939 --> 01:06:20,067 Hallelujah. 907 01:06:22,311 --> 01:06:27,146 Rid this man of these headache demons, of these migraine demons. 908 01:06:27,216 --> 01:06:29,776 Heal this man! 909 01:06:29,852 --> 01:06:31,786 Amen! 910 01:06:31,854 --> 01:06:33,981 Amen! 911 01:06:34,056 --> 01:06:37,457 Hallelujah! Oh, good golly, Miss Molly! 912 01:06:37,526 --> 01:06:40,120 How do you feel, son? My headache is gone, but... 913 01:06:40,196 --> 01:06:42,664 God bless him! Is there anything else I can do for you? 914 01:06:42,732 --> 01:06:46,896 No! No. Good! God bless you. Praise be. 915 01:06:46,969 --> 01:06:51,633 Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much. Ouch! 916 01:06:53,342 --> 01:06:55,537 I am worn to the bone. 917 01:06:55,611 --> 01:06:58,273 Thank you very much for gracing us with your presence. 918 01:06:58,347 --> 01:07:00,611 Good night. Praise be! 919 01:07:04,787 --> 01:07:07,347 Maybe I was wrong about Farnsworth. 920 01:07:07,423 --> 01:07:10,392 There was a new player in the game: : Becky's unknown client. 921 01:07:10,459 --> 01:07:13,451 I had to find out more, and the only way was to get into her pants... 922 01:07:13,529 --> 01:07:18,466 I mean, her car. At least it had brakes. Her car, that is. 923 01:07:18,534 --> 01:07:21,503 Fletch, what are you doing? 924 01:07:21,570 --> 01:07:24,130 The guy who works in there stole my watch. 925 01:07:24,206 --> 01:07:28,267 He dropped it while he was trying to kill me. I'd just as soon he not recognize me. 926 01:07:28,344 --> 01:07:32,542 I'd like to keep an eye on him. Maybe he'll lead us to his boss. 927 01:07:32,615 --> 01:07:34,947 How long are we gonna be here? 928 01:07:35,017 --> 01:07:36,951 Bored? 929 01:07:37,019 --> 01:07:39,544 Oh, no! This is exciting! 930 01:07:50,199 --> 01:07:52,133 Fletch? What? 931 01:07:52,201 --> 01:07:54,795 I have to pee. 932 01:07:54,870 --> 01:07:57,498 The same thing used to happen whenever I'd play hide-and-seek. 933 01:07:57,573 --> 01:08:01,134 I always got caught. You think the morgue has a ladies' room? 934 01:08:01,210 --> 01:08:03,474 Hey. 935 01:08:13,589 --> 01:08:17,685 Not so close. Try to get a little distance between you. 936 01:08:53,529 --> 01:08:57,932 I'm gonna have to play it pretty tough in there. Still have to pee? 937 01:08:58,000 --> 01:09:01,766 I gather the rain isn't helping a lot. 938 01:09:01,837 --> 01:09:04,772 - There's always the bushes. - I'll be okay. 939 01:09:07,510 --> 01:09:10,536 If I'm not back in five minutes, call your dad. 940 01:09:36,205 --> 01:09:39,003 Could I have a soda, please? 941 01:09:39,074 --> 01:09:41,440 Diet Pepsi or a Tab would be good. 942 01:09:48,751 --> 01:09:53,620 - Hey, pussy. - Name's Ed. Ed Harley. 943 01:09:54,924 --> 01:09:57,484 Are you sure you're in the right place? 944 01:09:57,560 --> 01:09:59,994 I think so. 945 01:10:00,062 --> 01:10:02,121 "Think so"! 946 01:10:04,333 --> 01:10:07,632 Ed, what are you doin' here? 947 01:10:07,703 --> 01:10:10,297 I'll give you a hint. 948 01:10:10,372 --> 01:10:13,830 Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Hmm? 949 01:10:16,178 --> 01:10:18,976 You don't get it? 950 01:10:19,048 --> 01:10:22,040 You're the one that doesn't get it. 951 01:10:22,117 --> 01:10:26,019 Ed Harley. Harley-Davidson Motorcycles. 952 01:10:28,324 --> 01:10:30,383 You own the company? 953 01:10:30,459 --> 01:10:35,158 Well, my granddaddy started it. Then my daddy screwed Davidson out of his half. 954 01:10:35,231 --> 01:10:37,961 Now I own the whole thing. 955 01:10:38,033 --> 01:10:41,002 - Harley-Davidson? No shit? - No shit. 956 01:10:41,070 --> 01:10:44,198 Hey, y'all, Ed Harley of Harley-Davidson! 957 01:10:44,273 --> 01:10:46,298 We're the Nazis from Natchez! 958 01:11:11,500 --> 01:11:13,866 Who're you callin', babe? 959 01:11:19,241 --> 01:11:22,677 Knock it off! Yo, boss, look who's here! 960 01:11:22,745 --> 01:11:26,374 Harley-Davidson. Yo, Ed, come over here and meet the boss. 961 01:11:26,448 --> 01:11:31,078 Hi. Ed Harley, the Third. Harley-Davidson Motorcycles. 962 01:11:31,153 --> 01:11:36,523 If you need any T-shirts or decals, I can make arrangements for you. 963 01:11:36,592 --> 01:11:38,457 I just can't wait. 964 01:11:38,527 --> 01:11:41,894 - What model do you ride? - '78 XL. 965 01:11:41,964 --> 01:11:46,924 '78 XL? That's a legend! It's not blue, is it? 966 01:11:47,002 --> 01:11:50,267 - You in luck, white boy. Come on. - Oh! 967 01:11:52,207 --> 01:11:57,338 There she is. Ain't she beautiful? Original blue! 968 01:11:57,413 --> 01:12:01,782 Oh, she is a beaut. Gee, golly, I'd love to ride this '78 XL. 969 01:12:01,850 --> 01:12:04,648 Nobody... 970 01:12:04,720 --> 01:12:06,813 touches my Hog. 971 01:12:06,889 --> 01:12:10,950 - Sorry. - If you wanna ride that low-rider, that's all right. 972 01:12:11,026 --> 01:12:14,018 Hell, we'll all ride. Fire 'em up! 973 01:12:14,096 --> 01:12:16,223 Do you mind if... Darleen. 974 01:12:16,298 --> 01:12:19,756 - If Darleen rides with me? - Feeling a little horny, Ed? 975 01:12:19,835 --> 01:12:24,898 Yeah. You know, my life isn't all hubs and gears. 976 01:12:29,345 --> 01:12:31,779 Take it easy. 977 01:12:40,823 --> 01:12:43,018 % All right now% 978 01:12:45,761 --> 01:12:49,629 % Hey, hey We're gonna go out tonight% 979 01:12:49,698 --> 01:12:52,690 Little murky in the oxydol. 980 01:12:52,768 --> 01:12:55,168 We're gonna flush that out, suck it, streamline it. 981 01:12:55,237 --> 01:12:59,264 Hey, your mustache looks funny. 982 01:12:59,341 --> 01:13:02,538 Oh, boy. 983 01:13:02,611 --> 01:13:04,670 Hey, look at that! Came off. 984 01:13:06,749 --> 01:13:09,240 % One for the money Two for the show% 985 01:13:09,318 --> 01:13:12,549 % Gotta go, let's go Hey, hey% 986 01:13:12,621 --> 01:13:15,522 % Gonna go out tonight% 987 01:13:15,591 --> 01:13:17,718 % Gonna have some fun% 988 01:13:17,793 --> 01:13:20,557 % Everything will be all right% % 989 01:13:32,541 --> 01:13:37,843 What're we gonna do? Something that will seem extremely stupid at first. 990 01:14:00,436 --> 01:14:02,700 Oh, my God! 991 01:14:08,577 --> 01:14:13,344 Yee-ha! 992 01:14:19,488 --> 01:14:21,422 Home! 993 01:14:21,490 --> 01:14:24,459 Oh, my God! I'm a mess. 994 01:14:24,526 --> 01:14:27,723 You want some coffee? Sure. 995 01:14:27,796 --> 01:14:30,128 I look like a raccoon. 996 01:14:30,199 --> 01:14:34,795 I gotta get to work, although I don't know why. All I do is sit with nothing to do. 997 01:14:34,870 --> 01:14:38,966 The only work I've had in the last three months has been with Everest Realty. 998 01:14:39,041 --> 01:14:40,975 And look what that's gotten me. Can I use your phone? 999 01:14:41,043 --> 01:14:43,944 Sure, go ahead. 1000 01:14:44,012 --> 01:14:47,470 That's toxic waste on the soles. What have you been doing? 1001 01:14:47,549 --> 01:14:49,881 Jogging in the Love Canal. What do you mean "toxic waste"? 1002 01:14:49,952 --> 01:14:54,912 - It's special. There's only 11 places that make this shit. - Where? 1003 01:14:59,461 --> 01:15:02,396 Frank, just give me the ones that aren't in New Jersey. 1004 01:15:02,464 --> 01:15:05,331 Ah, there's only one. Yazoo, Mississippi. 1005 01:15:05,400 --> 01:15:07,834 Bingo. 1006 01:15:13,742 --> 01:15:16,768 I wanna thank you for everything you've done. 1007 01:15:16,845 --> 01:15:20,212 I'm sorry I caused such a mess. 1008 01:15:20,282 --> 01:15:24,241 Can I ask you a personal question? Mm-hmm. 1009 01:15:24,319 --> 01:15:28,016 Did you finally get to pee? 1010 01:15:28,090 --> 01:15:31,082 Yes. 1011 01:15:31,159 --> 01:15:33,320 Good. 1012 01:15:40,369 --> 01:15:43,463 You better get cleaned up. 1013 01:15:45,007 --> 01:15:47,999 Yeah. Particularly my mind. 1014 01:15:57,352 --> 01:16:00,185 Where's the shampoo? I'll get you some. 1015 01:16:05,894 --> 01:16:08,089 Here. You'll need a clean towel too. 1016 01:16:08,163 --> 01:16:10,961 No, yours will be fine. Fletch! 1017 01:16:13,302 --> 01:16:16,999 You're right. This is too wet. 1018 01:16:17,072 --> 01:16:20,405 You know how to get to Yazoo? 1019 01:16:20,475 --> 01:16:23,205 Well, you're in the right vicinity. 1020 01:16:23,278 --> 01:16:27,146 The church seemed less and less culpable. 1021 01:16:27,215 --> 01:16:31,982 Why would they want toxic waste next to their land? Why would anybody? 1022 01:16:32,054 --> 01:16:36,684 Why are there four S's in Mississippi? Four I's and only two P's... 1023 01:16:36,758 --> 01:16:39,693 and one "M'" as far as I know? 1024 01:16:44,633 --> 01:16:49,832 Bly Bio Chem was the biggest chemical plant in Mississippi. 1025 01:16:49,905 --> 01:16:52,738 My Laker shoes were ruined by toxic waste produced there. 1026 01:16:52,808 --> 01:16:55,709 They probably knew who delivered it to my backyard. 1027 01:16:55,777 --> 01:16:59,304 Now the lead-lined containers painted with innocent bluebirds... 1028 01:16:59,381 --> 01:17:01,713 added a crucial piece to the puzzle... 1029 01:17:01,783 --> 01:17:04,115 that had begun way back in Amanda Ross's pants... 1030 01:17:04,186 --> 01:17:07,246 I mean, bedroom. 1031 01:17:07,322 --> 01:17:09,381 This is a secure area. 1032 01:17:09,458 --> 01:17:14,122 I'm very happy for you. Most people live in terrible neighborhoods. 1033 01:17:14,196 --> 01:17:18,223 Are you the head honcho? That's right, sir. Headly Dan Duke. 1034 01:17:18,300 --> 01:17:20,291 And what seems to be your problem? 1035 01:17:20,369 --> 01:17:24,271 I agreed to take a shit load of that Bluebird crap off your hands. 1036 01:17:24,339 --> 01:17:28,469 And it ain't come yet. I'm very sorry, sir. And you are? 1037 01:17:28,543 --> 01:17:30,272 I are pissed! 1038 01:17:30,345 --> 01:17:33,542 Some damn fool told me it was on back order, and I'd have to wait. 1039 01:17:33,615 --> 01:17:35,583 Whose signature is this? Who signed that? I can't... 1040 01:17:35,651 --> 01:17:39,212 That's the trouble! It's typical of a large corporation. 1041 01:17:39,287 --> 01:17:42,620 Lack of communication. That's why I like to keep Everest small. 1042 01:17:42,691 --> 01:17:46,024 Oh, you're from Everest! Now you're talkin'! 1043 01:17:46,094 --> 01:17:50,394 Elmer Gantry. Elmer Fudd Gantry. I'm not sure there's anything I can do. 1044 01:17:50,465 --> 01:17:54,128 You could pull my file instead of standing there pulling your pud! 1045 01:17:54,202 --> 01:17:57,228 Whatever you say, sir. 1046 01:17:57,305 --> 01:17:59,773 Bring me the Everest file. 1047 01:17:59,841 --> 01:18:02,309 Yes, sir. 1048 01:18:04,579 --> 01:18:07,047 Mr. Gantry? 1049 01:18:08,717 --> 01:18:13,120 I apologize for my bellicosity. I've had a hernia operation. 1050 01:18:13,188 --> 01:18:15,418 Is that the stuff I'm supposed to get? 1051 01:18:15,490 --> 01:18:18,982 Yes, sir. Why are they wearing those funny suits? 1052 01:18:19,061 --> 01:18:23,020 They're protective, as you know. That's a very corrosive by-product they're handling. 1053 01:18:23,098 --> 01:18:25,123 Oh, yeah. I guess if they didn't wear those suits, 1054 01:18:25,200 --> 01:18:30,763 those boys would be so full of holes, they'd whistle when they walked. 1055 01:18:30,839 --> 01:18:34,605 I've been spitting up blood, pissing blood, bleeding. 1056 01:18:34,676 --> 01:18:38,009 I go through five of these suits a day. 1057 01:18:38,080 --> 01:18:41,140 It appears you have your facts wrong, Mr. Gantry. 1058 01:18:41,216 --> 01:18:43,650 Your company is supposed to get 1500 gallons. 1059 01:18:43,719 --> 01:18:46,950 Destination someplace called Belle Isle in Louisiana. 1060 01:18:47,022 --> 01:18:50,480 Signed for by an officer of your company and due the 23rd. 1061 01:18:50,559 --> 01:18:54,290 So... we're right, and you're wrong. 1062 01:18:54,362 --> 01:18:57,331 Let me see that. 1063 01:18:57,399 --> 01:19:01,392 Takes a big man to admit when he's wrong. I am not a big man. 1064 01:19:08,744 --> 01:19:11,736 We're late again, because you had to stay late at the jail. 1065 01:19:11,813 --> 01:19:13,747 Hurry up. Just get out. 1066 01:19:21,490 --> 01:19:24,425 Are you all right? 1067 01:19:24,493 --> 01:19:29,760 You're wrecking my present. My fault? 1068 01:19:29,831 --> 01:19:32,561 Wash and gas it. Check the brake fluid, will ya? 1069 01:19:35,537 --> 01:19:37,937 My friends, ladies and gentlemen. 1070 01:19:38,006 --> 01:19:43,273 With all the fun we've been having, I hope we don't forget our real purpose here tonight... 1071 01:19:43,345 --> 01:19:47,338 to preserve the legacy that nature has given us. 1072 01:19:47,415 --> 01:19:50,179 We are mere custodians of... 1073 01:19:50,252 --> 01:19:53,278 Bob Lee. Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee. 1074 01:19:53,355 --> 01:19:57,553 Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee Schwartz. 1075 01:19:57,626 --> 01:20:01,619 Schwartz. Schwartz, the Second. 1076 01:20:25,287 --> 01:20:28,950 Fletch! What you doin' here? 1077 01:20:29,024 --> 01:20:34,360 - What are you doin' here? - You know me. I ain't happy unless I'm working. 1078 01:20:34,429 --> 01:20:39,389 Why, Fletch, I'm surprised to see you here, sir. Welcome, sir, welcome. 1079 01:20:39,467 --> 01:20:42,402 My pleasure, my pleasure. Thank you for not inviting me. 1080 01:20:42,470 --> 01:20:44,665 Oh! 1081 01:20:46,908 --> 01:20:49,274 I do believe we have something to discuss. 1082 01:20:49,344 --> 01:20:54,509 Oh. Well, might I suggest we repair ourselves to a quieter place. 1083 01:20:54,583 --> 01:20:56,949 Let us remove ourselves, shall we? 1084 01:20:57,018 --> 01:21:00,749 Son of a gun, we'll have big fun on the bayou. 1085 01:21:06,328 --> 01:21:08,728 My mama's room. 1086 01:21:10,065 --> 01:21:13,865 I've kept it just the way it was when she died. 1087 01:21:15,337 --> 01:21:17,931 Her ashes? 1088 01:21:18,006 --> 01:21:21,703 She used to say, "We come from the earth and we return to the earth, 1089 01:21:21,776 --> 01:21:24,267 and in between, we garden." 1090 01:21:24,346 --> 01:21:27,509 A little gardening, 1091 01:21:27,582 --> 01:21:30,346 a little polluting. 1092 01:21:35,090 --> 01:21:37,320 They spelled my name wrong. 1093 01:21:39,394 --> 01:21:41,521 My gun's made of rubber. How 'bout yours? 1094 01:21:42,898 --> 01:21:46,834 No. I see your point. 1095 01:21:46,902 --> 01:21:49,302 Wouldn't do for your conservationists guests to hear about... 1096 01:21:49,371 --> 01:21:52,033 that load of toxic waste heading for my land at Belle Isle. 1097 01:21:52,107 --> 01:21:56,237 My land... at Belle Isle, Fletch. 1098 01:21:56,311 --> 01:22:00,509 After you die, who's gonna prove that you did not sell your land to Everest? 1099 01:22:00,582 --> 01:22:03,278 You may have this town in your back pocket, Johnson, 1100 01:22:03,351 --> 01:22:06,320 but there are a lot of people downstairs who are gonna be very interested... 1101 01:22:06,388 --> 01:22:09,846 in the hows and whys of Amanda Ray's death. 1102 01:22:09,925 --> 01:22:11,950 She knew about Bluebird. 1103 01:22:12,027 --> 01:22:14,860 She started a file on you, and you found out about it. 1104 01:22:14,930 --> 01:22:20,197 That was my lucky night. The night I found the Bluebird file, the night you porked her. 1105 01:22:20,268 --> 01:22:24,728 I figured it was like an alligator shoot on the freeway, if you'll excuse the metaphor. 1106 01:22:24,806 --> 01:22:28,537 - It's not a metaphor. It's a simile, to be precise. - Whatever. 1107 01:22:28,610 --> 01:22:34,412 So you poisoned Amanda, figuring I'd sell and get out if I was facing a murder charge. 1108 01:22:34,482 --> 01:22:38,111 - I don't scare easy. I'm too dumb. - So it would seem. 1109 01:22:38,186 --> 01:22:42,247 Now get out of my mama's chair before I put the first bullet up your nose. 1110 01:22:42,324 --> 01:22:44,656 Are you kidding? 1111 01:22:44,726 --> 01:22:47,456 You pull that trigger and 100 people will be up here in a second. 1112 01:22:47,529 --> 01:22:50,464 My dear boy, why would I do my own dirty work? 1113 01:22:51,967 --> 01:22:55,232 Those hundred do-gooders down there dressed in rebel crap... 1114 01:22:55,303 --> 01:22:57,737 will be my alibi. 1115 01:22:59,040 --> 01:23:01,873 Now get outta my mama's chair! 1116 01:23:01,943 --> 01:23:05,538 I synchronized my beloved Laker watch with Miss Culpepper's Timex. 1117 01:23:05,613 --> 01:23:08,878 If I don�t join her at the ministry in 10 minutes, the whole ugly story... 1118 01:23:08,950 --> 01:23:11,748 goes out on the Farnsworth Network. 1119 01:23:11,820 --> 01:23:13,913 Of course, it's cable, but... 1120 01:23:13,989 --> 01:23:16,389 - You're bluffing, Fletch. - No, I'm not. 1121 01:23:16,458 --> 01:23:19,359 You think you're not... but you are. 1122 01:23:21,029 --> 01:23:23,463 Swell. 1123 01:23:25,000 --> 01:23:29,869 - Did he hurt you? - Not yet. That comes later. 1124 01:23:29,938 --> 01:23:31,906 Sorry, Becky. 1125 01:23:31,973 --> 01:23:36,967 The band won't take a break for some time, so screaming would be futile. 1126 01:23:37,045 --> 01:23:40,014 Mr. Fletch's convenient appearance has allowed us... 1127 01:23:40,081 --> 01:23:45,451 to move up our plans for your demise to coincide with his. 1128 01:23:45,520 --> 01:23:50,321 Now I'm goin' downstairs to be the gracious host. 1129 01:23:50,392 --> 01:23:54,158 Do what you have to do. 1130 01:23:54,229 --> 01:23:57,357 - The bride of Frankenstein. - Put my mama down! 1131 01:23:57,432 --> 01:23:59,423 Oh! I'm sorry. 1132 01:23:59,501 --> 01:24:01,935 Oh, how clumsy of me. 1133 01:24:02,003 --> 01:24:05,769 Oops! I'm sorry. I stepped right on her mustache. 1134 01:24:05,840 --> 01:24:09,139 Get away! Get away! 1135 01:24:09,210 --> 01:24:12,111 - Sorry. I was just trying to help. - It's all right, Mama. 1136 01:24:12,180 --> 01:24:14,444 You should be more careful where you put your breakables. 1137 01:24:14,516 --> 01:24:16,984 I've been careful all my life. 1138 01:24:17,052 --> 01:24:19,213 When she was sick, I was careful. 1139 01:24:19,287 --> 01:24:23,621 Then that goddamn Jimmy Lee's ministry... taking everything she had. 1140 01:24:23,691 --> 01:24:26,785 Bloodsuckers! 1141 01:24:26,861 --> 01:24:30,627 It's gonna be all right, Mama. And when we're far, far away... 1142 01:24:30,698 --> 01:24:32,757 from this godforsaken chemical swamp, 1143 01:24:32,834 --> 01:24:37,635 we're gonna sit back and watch 'em all just decompose. 1144 01:24:37,705 --> 01:24:41,698 That should be good for Bibleland's business, all their customers glowing in the dark. 1145 01:24:41,776 --> 01:24:44,745 I hope they all fry in hell! 1146 01:24:44,813 --> 01:24:48,146 - You bloodsucking bastards! - Isn't this interesting? 1147 01:24:48,216 --> 01:24:50,184 - Put that down. - She really is in there. 1148 01:24:50,251 --> 01:24:52,913 - Put that down. - She seems to have lost a little weight. 1149 01:24:52,987 --> 01:24:56,184 I thought you had her stuffed and mounted. Here she is. Head's up! 1150 01:24:56,257 --> 01:24:58,088 Ohh! Ohh! Becky! 1151 01:25:09,437 --> 01:25:13,874 Swine... Darryl, are you having a good time? 1152 01:25:58,019 --> 01:26:01,420 Welcome to great Noah's Ark... 1153 01:26:01,489 --> 01:26:05,289 where we have a flood every 10 minutes. 1154 01:26:07,228 --> 01:26:09,128 In the... 1155 01:26:17,005 --> 01:26:18,632 No! This way. 1156 01:26:18,706 --> 01:26:20,765 Join our pyramid of prayer. 1157 01:26:20,842 --> 01:26:23,333 For only $12, 1158 01:26:23,411 --> 01:26:27,347 you begin your exciting journey up the pyramid. 1159 01:26:27,415 --> 01:26:29,349 And when you reach the top, 1160 01:26:29,417 --> 01:26:35,481 you're gonna be the target of 20,000 prayers! 1161 01:26:35,557 --> 01:26:40,358 A lady in Fargo, North Dakota broke the chain and began a five-day fit of sneezing... 1162 01:26:40,428 --> 01:26:42,623 that ended in her death. Daddy? 1163 01:26:42,697 --> 01:26:48,363 Well, Mr. Fletcher, what a pleasant surprise. And, Becky, what are you... 1164 01:26:48,436 --> 01:26:52,668 Look who's here! Hamilton Johnson! Friend of the community. 1165 01:26:52,740 --> 01:26:56,176 Ham, you look like you've worked up quite a sweat. 1166 01:26:56,244 --> 01:26:58,712 Maybe you should dry your hair first. Do you want a towel? 1167 01:26:58,780 --> 01:27:02,113 Uh-oh, he's got a gun. 1168 01:27:02,183 --> 01:27:07,211 Show your lovely face on national television. Let 'em see that greedy glint in your eye. 1169 01:27:07,288 --> 01:27:09,222 Let 'em hear that bullshit chuckle, Ham. 1170 01:27:09,290 --> 01:27:11,315 Who's gonna save you now, Fletch? 1171 01:27:11,392 --> 01:27:14,384 You'll have to shoot through me, you son of a bitch! 1172 01:27:14,462 --> 01:27:17,898 He's not gonna shoot anybody. Are you, Ham? You're on television now. 1173 01:27:17,966 --> 01:27:20,332 You haven't got the guts. 1174 01:27:20,401 --> 01:27:23,131 - My mistake. - Freeze! 1175 01:27:23,204 --> 01:27:27,368 F.B.I. Drop the gun! I said, drop it. Harry! 1176 01:27:35,450 --> 01:27:40,547 And it's my plan to rerun this incident every night during Sweeps Week. 1177 01:27:40,622 --> 01:27:43,716 The obvious question is... What did you know and when did you know it? 1178 01:27:43,791 --> 01:27:46,055 And how long did you plan on letting me twist in the wind? 1179 01:27:46,127 --> 01:27:49,858 Up to a point. The Agency was barking up the same tree you were. 1180 01:27:49,931 --> 01:27:52,729 Jimmy Lee's finances. Yep. 1181 01:27:52,800 --> 01:27:56,497 It was easy for Harry and Field Officer Vincent to infiltrate the ministry. 1182 01:27:56,571 --> 01:27:58,766 Field Officer Vincent? 1183 01:27:58,840 --> 01:28:01,331 That's Mr. Coco's real name. 1184 01:28:01,409 --> 01:28:04,242 We've been working on this case for over a year. 1185 01:28:04,312 --> 01:28:09,079 Excuse me, Agent Goldstein, the officer would like to speak to you. Surely. 1186 01:28:09,150 --> 01:28:11,118 Goldstein? 1187 01:28:15,323 --> 01:28:17,985 Thank you, sir. 1188 01:28:18,059 --> 01:28:20,892 Ding dong, the wicked witch is dead. 1189 01:28:20,962 --> 01:28:24,557 So what's next, Fletch? Back to L.A.? 1190 01:28:24,632 --> 01:28:26,759 There's no place like home. 1191 01:28:26,834 --> 01:28:29,132 Unless home is here. 1192 01:28:29,203 --> 01:28:33,105 You know what? We gotta get you away from this chemical swamp. 1193 01:28:33,174 --> 01:28:36,371 I was wondering... Do you like smog? 1194 01:28:39,180 --> 01:28:41,648 Back home there was a surprise party for me. 1195 01:28:41,716 --> 01:28:47,052 But the nicest surprise was an insurance check for the Belle Isle fire... $ 100,000. 1196 01:28:47,121 --> 01:28:51,785 However, no one stopped Bly Bio Chem from dumping that toxic waste on my land. 1197 01:28:51,859 --> 01:28:56,489 They told me not to worry. Its half-life was estimated at 3,000 years. 1198 01:28:56,564 --> 01:28:58,555 Everything okay, Fletch? 1199 01:28:58,633 --> 01:29:01,397 Betty was a little pissed off about giving up her office, 1200 01:29:01,469 --> 01:29:04,267 and accounting gave me some flak about the new car, but trust me, 1201 01:29:04,339 --> 01:29:07,672 everything's gonna be just the way you want it, maybe better. 1202 01:29:07,742 --> 01:29:10,108 I like your attitude, Frank. 1203 01:29:10,178 --> 01:29:13,636 Excuse me just a sec. What a guy! 1204 01:29:15,783 --> 01:29:20,447 I thought I told you... never to come to my workplace. 1205 01:29:20,521 --> 01:29:22,716 Time's change, my dear Fletch. 1206 01:29:22,790 --> 01:29:26,123 Rumor has it that you have inherited a sizable piece of property. 1207 01:29:26,194 --> 01:29:30,426 Who told you? I have my sources too. 1208 01:29:30,498 --> 01:29:34,093 These sources also suggest that you may have been considering skipping town... 1209 01:29:34,168 --> 01:29:36,363 and retiring on this vast estate. 1210 01:29:36,437 --> 01:29:39,372 Thus skipping out on your financial responsibilities. 1211 01:29:39,440 --> 01:29:43,934 Would I do that? Wendy could probably get half of it anyway. 1212 01:29:44,011 --> 01:29:48,778 So in return for the other half, we would forego any other claims. 1213 01:29:48,850 --> 01:29:52,809 Think about it. You would never see me again. 1214 01:29:57,859 --> 01:30:00,623 Where do I sign? 1215 01:30:04,966 --> 01:30:07,230 I'll never see you again? Never. 1216 01:30:12,273 --> 01:30:15,538 You realize this is my family land? 1217 01:30:16,811 --> 01:30:19,575 Does it please you to rip out my ancestral roots? 1218 01:30:19,647 --> 01:30:22,878 I was born and raised in a briar patch. 1219 01:30:31,859 --> 01:30:34,589 Now Wendy can live a life of leisure. 1220 01:30:34,662 --> 01:30:39,395 Clean air, clean water. This is the way she was destined to live. 1221 01:30:39,467 --> 01:30:43,198 Okay, Gillet. You've broken me. 1222 01:30:43,271 --> 01:30:45,205 I hope you're happy. 1223 01:30:53,381 --> 01:30:56,942 % Hey, hey We gonna go out tonight% 1224 01:30:58,252 --> 01:31:03,349 % Hey, hey We gonna go out tonight% 1225 01:31:03,424 --> 01:31:07,383 % We gonna have some fun Everything will be all right% 1226 01:31:16,003 --> 01:31:17,937 % Ohhh% 1227 01:31:18,005 --> 01:31:20,064 % All right% 1228 01:31:51,806 --> 01:31:53,967 % Make a change in your life% 1229 01:31:56,043 --> 01:31:58,944 % And make it for the better% 1230 01:32:01,048 --> 01:32:04,984 % Don't you wait no longer% 1231 01:32:05,052 --> 01:32:08,317 % It just set you back further% 1232 01:32:11,192 --> 01:32:13,217 % It's not for the young% 1233 01:32:13,294 --> 01:32:15,854 % It's not for the old% 1234 01:32:15,930 --> 01:32:17,989 % It's not for the crazy% 1235 01:32:18,065 --> 01:32:20,556 % It's not for the bold% 1236 01:32:20,635 --> 01:32:24,537 % It's not for one generation% 1237 01:32:24,605 --> 01:32:27,233 % It's for the whole damn nation% 1238 01:32:28,943 --> 01:32:31,707 % I say, the whole damn nation% 1239 01:32:34,081 --> 01:32:38,017 % Make a change in your life% 1240 01:32:39,086 --> 01:32:42,021 % And make it for the better% 1241 01:32:44,225 --> 01:32:48,161 % Don't you wait no longer% 1242 01:32:48,229 --> 01:32:51,027 % It just set you back further% 1243 01:32:54,101 --> 01:32:56,433 % It's not for the black and white% 1244 01:32:56,504 --> 01:32:59,029 % It's not for the yellow and red% 1245 01:32:59,106 --> 01:33:02,041 % It's not for the sick and homeless% 1246 01:33:02,109 --> 01:33:05,010 % It's not for just one race% 1247 01:33:05,079 --> 01:33:07,570 % It's not for one generation% 1248 01:33:07,648 --> 01:33:10,048 % It's for the whole damn nation% 1249 01:33:12,520 --> 01:33:15,045 % I say, the whole damn nation% 1250 01:33:56,063 --> 01:33:59,260 % Make a change in your life% 1251 01:34:00,501 --> 01:34:03,595 % And make it for the better% 1252 01:34:05,673 --> 01:34:09,734 % Don't you wait no longer% 1253 01:34:09,810 --> 01:34:11,801 % It just set you back further% 1254 01:34:15,850 --> 01:34:17,784 % It's not for the young% 1255 01:34:17,852 --> 01:34:19,786 % It's not for the old% 1256 01:34:19,854 --> 01:34:22,550 % It's not for the crazy% 1257 01:34:22,623 --> 01:34:24,887 % It's not for the bold% 1258 01:34:24,959 --> 01:34:27,792 % It's not for one generation% 1259 01:34:27,862 --> 01:34:31,025 % It's for the whole damn nation% 1260 01:34:33,567 --> 01:34:35,797 % I say, the whole damn nation% 1261 01:34:38,939 --> 01:34:41,737 % Make a change in your life% 1262 01:34:43,411 --> 01:34:45,572 % Make it for the better% 1263 01:34:48,349 --> 01:34:50,977 % Don't you wait no longer% % 1264 01:34:59,000 --> 01:35:00,977 {{{ the end }}}