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Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
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[ZOMBIES SNARLING]
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[♪♪♪]
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Hmph.
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COLUMBUS:
Welcome to Zombieland.
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[♪♪♪]
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Back for seconds?
After all this time?
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Well, what can I say,
but thank you.
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00:00:49,491 --> 00:00:50,958
You have a lot of choices
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00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:52,827
when it comes to
zombie entertainment,
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00:00:52,829 --> 00:00:54,462
and we appreciate
you picking us.
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00:00:54,464 --> 00:00:55,928
So you know how Eskimos
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have a bunch of words for snow?
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[COLUMBUS SPEAKING
ON-SCREEN TEXT]
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The only reason we've survived
the last several years
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is we've gotten to know
our bloodthirsty enemies
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better than we know ourselves.
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In the time since
we last saw you,
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zombies have evolved,
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so we've given them
different names.
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[WOMAN SCREAMS]
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This lady here
is getting chased
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by the dumbest Z there is,
what we call a Homer.
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[♪♪♪]
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[GROWLS]
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In a world without YouTube,
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who isn't entertained
by a Homer?
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[GROANING]
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D'oh!
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[GRUNTING]
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Unfortunately, for every Homer,
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there's a Hawking,
as in Stephen.
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Or maybe his slightly less
accomplished sister, Beatrix,
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who's still got some brains
left to figure shit out.
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Open, open!
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[ZOMBIE GROWLING]
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[GLASS SQUEAKING]
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[RASPY BREATHING]
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[CRUNCHING]
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[GASPS]
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[SOFT POP]
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[SCANNER BEEPS]
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[SCANNER BEEPS]
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[YELLS]
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Clever girl.
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[SCREAMS]
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Okay. Last one.
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Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa,
what was that?
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Okay, all right.
Well, this time,
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let's play Name That Zombie.
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Hello?
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Hello?
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[EXHALES SHARPLY]
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- [GROWLS]
- [SCREAMS]
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The Ninja. Silent, deadly.
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The first thing you hear
is your own scream.
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[SCREAMS]
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[♪♪♪]
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You can imagine how thrilled we
were to crack the zombie code.
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But life is about more
than just survival.
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Ever since we were evicted
from our normal lives,
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00:03:03,025 --> 00:03:06,626
I'd been searching for a place
to put down roots.
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My old pal Tallahassee has this
saying, "Go big or go home."
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It's not his signature phrase,
but it did give me an idea.
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Why not go big...
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and go home?
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[METALLICA'S "MASTER OF PUPPETS"
PLAYING]
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♪ End of passion play ♪
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♪ Crumbling away ♪
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♪ I'm your source
of self-destruction ♪
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♪ Veins that pump with fear ♪
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♪ Sucking darkest clear ♪
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♪ Leading on
Your death's construction ♪
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♪ Taste me
You will see ♪
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♪ More is all you need ♪
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♪ You're dedicated to
How I'm killing you ♪
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♪ Come crawling faster ♪
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♪ Obey your master ♪
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♪ Your life burns faster ♪
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♪ Obey your master ♪
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♪ Master
Master of puppets ♪
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♪ I'm pulling your strings ♪
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♪ Twisting your mind
And smashing your dreams ♪
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♪ Blinded by me
You can't see a thing ♪
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♪ Just call my name
'Cause I'll hear you scream ♪
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♪ Master
Master ♪
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♪ Master of puppets
I'm pulling your strings ♪
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♪ Twisting your mind
and smashing your... ♪
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Hail to
the motherfucking chief.
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["HAIL TO THE CHIEF" PLAYING]
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COLUMBUS:
There are worse places
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to hang your hat.
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[SIGHS]
Casa Blanca.
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00:05:09,719 --> 00:05:12,518
Wait, why does he get
to be president?
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I would have made
a damn fine president.
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Kissed a few hands,
shook a few babies.
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You would have brought
a real dignity to the office.
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- Thank you.
- You don't have what it takes.
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- I'll be president.
- Heh!
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And I nominate Little Rock
as my VP.
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So that means
I get to be president
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if you get killed by zombies.
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That wasn't
what I was thinking
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when I offered you
the position, but yes.
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[♪♪♪]
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COLUMBUS:
I have this rule:
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Enjoy the little things.
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Which is what we spent
a lot of time doing
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in those early days
at the White House.
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And it was a really
special time,
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making a house our home.
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[BOTH CHUCKLING]
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♪ Happy birthday to... ♪
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Shooting up, not to.
All right. Nice!
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[♪♪♪]
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COLUMBUS: Wichita and I fell into
our own version of domestic bliss.
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Well, not quite bliss,
but domesticity to be sure.
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Did Abe's blindfold
fall off again?
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No, it did not fall off.
I took it off.
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It's so creepy.
He stares at us all night.
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That stare emancipated
the slaves,
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and ended the Civil War.
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We should be grateful
he's gawking at us.
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Remember what happened the last
time you took the blindfold off?
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You made me sleep
on the Lincoln couch?
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Mm-hm.
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[PAPER TEARING]
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- Is that better?
- Much better.
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- Good.
- [LAUGHS SOFTLY]
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TALLAHASSEE:
I love you so much, baby.
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You are so gorgeous.
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We really need
to find you someone.
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That's where you're wrong.
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Any romance left in me
belongs to the Beast here.
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Okay. Well, then we need
to find someone for me.
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Heh, heh, heh,
shouldn't be a problem,
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long as you're open
to dating zombies.
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So you're saying what? I'm
never gonna find a boyfriend,
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or get married, have a family?
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We're you family, so one
out of three ain't bad.
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00:07:04,700 --> 00:07:07,667
COLUMBUS: Little Rock had a
strong desire to leave the nest.
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00:07:07,669 --> 00:07:09,402
And let's just say Tallahassee
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00:07:09,404 --> 00:07:11,638
wasn't the most understanding
father figure.
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Little Rock!
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COLUMBUS:
But for better or worse,
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we were a family.
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And for the first time
since the virus,
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00:07:17,779 --> 00:07:19,712
we were living somewhere
truly safe,
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making every day feel like...
Well, like Christmas morning.
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00:07:24,186 --> 00:07:26,923
Hello? Ho-ho-ho!
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00:07:28,022 --> 00:07:29,590
Merry Christmas!
152
00:07:29,592 --> 00:07:32,258
- Hey, Tal.
- Santa.
153
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What would you like for
Christmas, little girl? A pony?
154
00:07:35,164 --> 00:07:37,998
I'd like you to stop calling me
"little girl."
155
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:41,234
Well, technically, you are
little and you're a girl.
156
00:07:41,236 --> 00:07:45,037
I am not a little girl, but
do you know what I would like?
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00:07:45,039 --> 00:07:47,308
I don't give a fuck
what you'd like.
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00:07:47,310 --> 00:07:49,376
COLUMBUS: Not to
sound too sentimental,
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00:07:49,378 --> 00:07:52,044
but those days
at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
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00:07:52,046 --> 00:07:54,314
may have been the best days
of my life,
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and that's counting pre-Z.
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Wait a second.
163
00:08:00,022 --> 00:08:02,388
Oh, my God. No.
164
00:08:02,390 --> 00:08:05,892
A first-edition Tolkien,
and you wrote in it.
165
00:08:05,894 --> 00:08:09,028
There's my name, marring this
perfectly preserved paper.
166
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,696
Thank you. And yours too.
167
00:08:10,698 --> 00:08:13,868
You didn't stop.
Thank you so much.
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TALLAHASSEE:
It's a bit touching.
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00:08:15,904 --> 00:08:18,371
Hey, you know, I couldn't
find any wrapping paper,
170
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:20,607
but don't worry about it.
Just tear it open.
171
00:08:20,609 --> 00:08:23,243
It doesn't matter.
It's only Taft.
172
00:08:23,245 --> 00:08:26,679
He was our fattest president,
so there's a lot left over
173
00:08:26,681 --> 00:08:28,681
if you need some wrapping paper.
174
00:08:28,683 --> 00:08:30,986
Columbus, I didn't get
anything from you.
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00:08:32,388 --> 00:08:35,154
Just what I wanted.
Another gun.
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00:08:35,156 --> 00:08:39,292
Oh, hey, well, not just any gun.
A Colt .45.
177
00:08:39,294 --> 00:08:43,129
And not just any Colt .45.
The King's.
178
00:08:43,131 --> 00:08:47,267
- England? Denmark? Lichtenstein?
- There's only one king.
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00:08:47,269 --> 00:08:51,307
Elvis Aaron fucking Presley,
the greatest who ever lived.
180
00:08:52,340 --> 00:08:54,074
The king of kings.
181
00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:57,244
He gave this gun to Nixon
when he visited the White House,
182
00:08:57,246 --> 00:09:01,215
and I give it to you,
locked and loaded.
183
00:09:01,217 --> 00:09:04,651
Yeah, he used to shoot
that Colt in his backyard.
184
00:09:04,653 --> 00:09:06,585
King's palace,
Memphis, Tennessee.
185
00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:09,056
- I tell you about Graceland?
- Only a hundred times.
186
00:09:09,058 --> 00:09:10,791
We'll go there
together someday.
187
00:09:10,793 --> 00:09:13,060
Actually, I'm gonna go
shoot this right now.
188
00:09:13,062 --> 00:09:16,263
I think I saw some Zs
down by the reflecting pool.
189
00:09:16,265 --> 00:09:17,998
- I'll go with.
- I'll go by myself.
190
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,600
- It's Christmas.
- It's not fucking Christmas.
191
00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:21,636
It's November 17th.
192
00:09:23,638 --> 00:09:26,005
COLUMBUS: Little Rock was on the
hunt, all right,
193
00:09:26,007 --> 00:09:27,574
for people her own age.
194
00:09:27,576 --> 00:09:29,442
And the thing is,
they were out there.
195
00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:31,811
We just made it a point
to keep our distance.
196
00:09:31,813 --> 00:09:34,482
Which would suck if you
were the one stuck in the nest.
197
00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:41,888
God, this is really terrifying,
but totally unrealistic.
198
00:09:41,890 --> 00:09:43,456
Hm...
199
00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:44,659
Hey, she'll be fine.
200
00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:48,862
Wish she didn't remind me
so much of me.
201
00:09:48,864 --> 00:09:50,630
Hey, come on.
What's wrong with you?
202
00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:51,766
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
203
00:09:52,834 --> 00:09:53,869
Nothing.
204
00:09:55,571 --> 00:09:57,840
All right.
I wasn't gonna do this now.
205
00:10:00,842 --> 00:10:05,612
Okay. Look, you always say that,
like, I play it too safe,
206
00:10:05,614 --> 00:10:08,848
and I know we've been in,
like, a bit of a rut lately.
207
00:10:08,850 --> 00:10:13,189
So I thought, what better way
to spice things up than to...
208
00:10:17,858 --> 00:10:19,558
Get married?
209
00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:22,128
Yeah, well, I was gonna
say, "Get married!" Yay!
210
00:10:22,130 --> 00:10:24,998
- Is that the Hope diamond?
- I certainly hope it is.
211
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,533
I want you to be Miss Ohio.
Or I guess Mrs. Ohio.
212
00:10:27,535 --> 00:10:29,902
This is unfair.
You know how I feel about this.
213
00:10:29,904 --> 00:10:31,537
- What?
- We've talked about this.
214
00:10:31,539 --> 00:10:34,575
In my limited, but absurdly
painful experience,
215
00:10:34,577 --> 00:10:36,709
married people only do
one thing.
216
00:10:36,711 --> 00:10:39,579
- What, fight? We already do that.
- Get divorced.
217
00:10:39,581 --> 00:10:41,348
I don't see us going that route.
218
00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:43,516
I mean, where would
we find the lawyers?
219
00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:48,555
- I don't know what to say.
- Well, don't say anything. Yet.
220
00:10:48,557 --> 00:10:51,925
- Okay? This was my fault.
- I put you on the spot.
221
00:10:51,927 --> 00:10:55,460
Just think about it, and let me
know whenever you're ready.
222
00:10:55,462 --> 00:10:58,500
Everything will work out
exactly as it's supposed to.
223
00:10:59,968 --> 00:11:01,868
[SIGHS]
224
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:03,639
[♪♪♪]
225
00:11:06,408 --> 00:11:08,544
[COLUMBUS WHISTLING]
226
00:11:14,549 --> 00:11:16,450
Hey, Buttercup. What's wrong?
227
00:11:16,452 --> 00:11:19,085
Get a little too much eggnog
last night?
228
00:11:19,087 --> 00:11:21,687
- Bad news.
- Bad news?
229
00:11:21,689 --> 00:11:25,124
Well, you know what cancels out
bad news? Good news.
230
00:11:25,126 --> 00:11:27,359
Today is the day
that Wichita says...
231
00:11:27,361 --> 00:11:28,762
Adios.
232
00:11:28,764 --> 00:11:29,799
Hm?
233
00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:37,571
"Dear C and T, we feel
like total shit about leaving.
234
00:11:37,573 --> 00:11:39,775
Sorry, not good at notes.
W and LR."
235
00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:43,176
Well, yeah.
"Not good at notes"
236
00:11:43,178 --> 00:11:45,114
is a pretty huge understatement.
237
00:11:46,816 --> 00:11:49,282
He's gonna take
this Beast thing pretty hard.
238
00:11:49,284 --> 00:11:52,518
Well, he should learn
to not get so attached.
239
00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:54,321
Never get attached.
Remember?
240
00:11:54,323 --> 00:11:56,022
That was the problem
with Columbus,
241
00:11:56,024 --> 00:11:57,257
he got too attached.
242
00:11:57,259 --> 00:11:58,859
Well, with Tallahassee,
it's like
243
00:11:58,861 --> 00:12:00,426
- he thinks he's my dad.
- Sure.
244
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:02,628
But you are lucky
you don't have a boyfriend.
245
00:12:02,630 --> 00:12:04,764
Have you seen him
use Q-tips?
246
00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:07,432
His bedtime routine
took an hour.
247
00:12:07,434 --> 00:12:09,302
- Stop.
- What? God, sorry.
248
00:12:09,304 --> 00:12:11,571
- No, stop! Stop!
- Oh!
249
00:12:11,573 --> 00:12:12,842
[TIRES SCREECH]
250
00:12:15,177 --> 00:12:16,445
[♪♪♪]
251
00:12:17,913 --> 00:12:18,880
Namaste.
252
00:12:21,650 --> 00:12:22,550
Hi.
253
00:12:25,419 --> 00:12:28,687
COLUMBUS: Wichita leaving
hit me like a shotgun blast.
254
00:12:28,689 --> 00:12:31,257
So after weeks of feeling sorry
for myself,
255
00:12:31,259 --> 00:12:32,926
I thought a little
retail therapy
256
00:12:32,928 --> 00:12:34,460
might help get her
off my mind.
257
00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:36,428
It's not like
I wanted to start,
258
00:12:36,430 --> 00:12:39,166
wedding planning or anything.
I'm not crazy.
259
00:12:39,168 --> 00:12:41,734
Who wants to get married
in winter? Spring, sure.
260
00:12:41,736 --> 00:12:44,137
- Though my hair and humidity...
- Oh, my God!
261
00:12:44,139 --> 00:12:47,206
Man, I cannot listen
to this shit anymore.
262
00:12:47,208 --> 00:12:50,409
- My God, it's been over a month.
- Yeah, I'm bereft.
263
00:12:50,411 --> 00:12:53,513
Okay, I'm giving you
one more day to mope around,
264
00:12:53,515 --> 00:12:56,417
and then you gotta snap
the fuck out of it.
265
00:12:56,419 --> 00:13:00,420
This whole "finding a home" idea
of yours has made us soft.
266
00:13:00,422 --> 00:13:02,723
And by us, I mean you.
267
00:13:02,725 --> 00:13:05,691
It's high time that we nut up
and hit the road again.
268
00:13:05,693 --> 00:13:06,825
And by we, I mean me.
269
00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:08,094
That's where I belong.
270
00:13:08,096 --> 00:13:10,364
On my own. Lone wolf.
271
00:13:10,366 --> 00:13:13,032
- You're welcome to tag along.
- But when they come back,
272
00:13:13,034 --> 00:13:15,201
- we won't be here.
- They're never coming back!
273
00:13:15,203 --> 00:13:17,202
- [GLASS SHATTERS]
- [ZOMBIE GROANING]
274
00:13:17,204 --> 00:13:18,540
[GUN COCKS]
275
00:13:19,540 --> 00:13:20,639
I got it.
276
00:13:20,641 --> 00:13:23,408
No, no, no, no, no, no.
277
00:13:23,410 --> 00:13:25,180
Okay. Uh...
278
00:13:30,217 --> 00:13:32,686
It was good. You shot
your alcohol with your gun.
279
00:13:32,688 --> 00:13:33,856
[ZOMBIE GAGGING SOFTLY]
280
00:13:37,893 --> 00:13:39,562
[♪♪♪]
281
00:13:46,268 --> 00:13:47,533
Not bad, huh?
282
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:51,638
Hm, no. Not bad,
but definitely no ZKOTY.
283
00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:55,274
COLUMBUS: ZKOTY,
that is "Zombie Kill of the Year."
284
00:13:55,276 --> 00:13:57,643
Like a junkie in search
of a higher high,
285
00:13:57,645 --> 00:14:00,613
Tallahassee is no longer happy
with Zombie Kill of the Week.
286
00:14:00,615 --> 00:14:02,382
Which, if you're keeping score,
287
00:14:02,384 --> 00:14:04,718
just went to Dave Sanderman
of Riverside, Iowa.
288
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,152
You may wanna set down
the Milk Duds for this one.
289
00:14:07,154 --> 00:14:08,488
You dead, zombie!
290
00:14:08,490 --> 00:14:10,159
[GROANING]
291
00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:12,591
Whoo-whee, pig!
292
00:14:12,593 --> 00:14:13,595
[LAUGHING]
293
00:14:15,463 --> 00:14:17,564
COLUMBUS:
Congratulations, Dave.
294
00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:19,231
I never told you this before.
295
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:21,601
In fact, I never told anybody.
296
00:14:21,603 --> 00:14:28,207
But I have Native American blood
coursing through my veins.
297
00:14:28,209 --> 00:14:32,644
- Like, right now?
- Yeah. Right now.
298
00:14:32,646 --> 00:14:37,417
Blackfoot Indian to be exact.
The freest men in history.
299
00:14:37,419 --> 00:14:40,085
Mid-1800s, roamed the plains,
300
00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:43,422
no houses, no laws,
no possessions,
301
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:47,127
no chiefs to report to,
no wives to listen to.
302
00:14:47,129 --> 00:14:48,230
They listened...
303
00:14:49,530 --> 00:14:51,531
to the call of the buffalo.
304
00:14:51,533 --> 00:14:52,764
[SCOFFS]
305
00:14:52,766 --> 00:14:54,300
And they hunted
those buffalo
306
00:14:54,302 --> 00:14:59,707
by herding them off the cliff
to their deaths.
307
00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:06,012
- The great buffalo jump.
- Whoa.
308
00:15:06,014 --> 00:15:09,882
I don't know why I never told
anyone about my Blackfoot blood.
309
00:15:09,884 --> 00:15:12,619
I guess it's
a sacred little secret.
310
00:15:12,621 --> 00:15:15,321
Honestly, you're
the first paleface
311
00:15:15,323 --> 00:15:17,156
I have genuinely trusted
312
00:15:17,158 --> 00:15:19,325
because you've always
been there for me.
313
00:15:19,327 --> 00:15:21,793
You care and you listen.
You really listen...
314
00:15:21,795 --> 00:15:23,696
COLUMBUS: Unless
you're in a 4D theater,
315
00:15:23,698 --> 00:15:25,931
there is no way
I can communicate
316
00:15:25,933 --> 00:15:27,367
how bad Z-land smells,
317
00:15:27,369 --> 00:15:29,802
which is why I like candles
so much.
318
00:15:29,804 --> 00:15:31,805
Today, maybe
a frosty gingerbread
319
00:15:31,807 --> 00:15:33,373
or a Bahama breeze.
320
00:15:33,375 --> 00:15:34,673
Mmm.
321
00:15:34,675 --> 00:15:35,774
[GLASS CLINKING]
322
00:15:35,776 --> 00:15:37,277
Whoa!
323
00:15:37,279 --> 00:15:40,713
Oh, my God! Please forgive me.
It's fake fur!
324
00:15:40,715 --> 00:15:43,048
Oh, God. I'm so sorry.
I thought you were a...
325
00:15:43,050 --> 00:15:45,218
- You thought I was a zombie?
- Yeah. Of course.
326
00:15:45,220 --> 00:15:47,086
Oh, my God, no.
I don't even eat meat.
327
00:15:47,088 --> 00:15:50,090
I'm a vegetarian.
Vegan, actually. Heh.
328
00:15:50,092 --> 00:15:53,893
- Sorry. Hi, I'm Columbus.
- Madison. Heh-heh.
329
00:15:53,895 --> 00:15:56,362
- Oh, hi. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
330
00:15:56,364 --> 00:15:59,032
All right. We're hugging.
So soon. Nice to meet you.
331
00:15:59,034 --> 00:16:01,401
It's nice
to touch a human.
332
00:16:01,403 --> 00:16:02,869
- TALLAHASSEE: Don't mind me.
- Oh, hello.
333
00:16:02,871 --> 00:16:04,604
If I can have my body?
Hi, sorry.
334
00:16:04,606 --> 00:16:06,439
This is Tallahassee.
This is Madison.
335
00:16:06,441 --> 00:16:09,209
- Madison, Tallahassee.
- Is this your dad?
336
00:16:09,211 --> 00:16:13,680
For shit's sake, slightly older,
better-looking friend.
337
00:16:13,682 --> 00:16:15,947
- Ha, ha, cute.
- You live here?
338
00:16:15,949 --> 00:16:20,387
No, Paul Blart. I live in the
freezer in Pinkberry, mm-hm.
339
00:16:20,389 --> 00:16:23,656
It keeps the zombies out,
though it is awfully chilly.
340
00:16:23,658 --> 00:16:24,891
[CHUCKLES]
341
00:16:24,893 --> 00:16:27,226
Do you ever consider
turning it off?
342
00:16:27,228 --> 00:16:29,396
Couldn't find the switch
anywhere.
343
00:16:29,398 --> 00:16:31,497
Just hoping the electricity
would run out.
344
00:16:31,499 --> 00:16:34,567
It's amazing. As long as it
rains, the dams give us power.
345
00:16:34,569 --> 00:16:36,137
Apparently not brain power.
346
00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:40,440
I feel like
you're being super judgy.
347
00:16:40,442 --> 00:16:44,444
Like, I'm getting
a real anti-me vibe off of you.
348
00:16:44,446 --> 00:16:46,412
- Are you?
- Oh, my God. There it was again.
349
00:16:46,414 --> 00:16:48,580
- Yeah, I saw it.
- And that's hurtful, okay?
350
00:16:48,582 --> 00:16:50,782
I'm, like, really good
at surviving.
351
00:16:50,784 --> 00:16:53,152
I carry a can of mace
with me everywhere I go.
352
00:16:53,154 --> 00:16:55,654
And I can run really, really,
really, really fast.
353
00:16:55,656 --> 00:16:58,392
Probably because I used to do
hot yoga and SoulCycle.
354
00:16:58,394 --> 00:17:01,561
Cardio! Sorry, I do
a lot of cardio too.
355
00:17:01,563 --> 00:17:04,897
It's actually my number one
rule, which is so dorky.
356
00:17:04,899 --> 00:17:07,567
But I have a list of rules
for surviving Zombieland.
357
00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:08,601
- Really?
- Yeah.
358
00:17:08,603 --> 00:17:10,469
- So do I!
- You have rules
359
00:17:10,471 --> 00:17:12,804
- for surviving Zombieland?
- Mine is just mostly
360
00:17:12,806 --> 00:17:14,573
- stay in the freezer.
- Oh.
361
00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:15,809
[GIGGLES]
362
00:17:15,811 --> 00:17:17,409
You know, we set up camp,
363
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:19,411
like, down the road
at the White House.
364
00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:20,746
[CLEARS THROAT]
365
00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:22,282
The White House?
Oh, my God.
366
00:17:22,284 --> 00:17:23,815
Would you wanna come hang out?
367
00:17:23,817 --> 00:17:25,619
- I would love that.
- Cool.
368
00:17:25,621 --> 00:17:27,587
Okay. How many rules
do you have?
369
00:17:27,589 --> 00:17:30,723
- You wanna know about my rules?
- I wanna hear all of them.
370
00:17:30,725 --> 00:17:34,060
- Well, number two is double tap.
- Double tap.
371
00:17:34,062 --> 00:17:36,963
- Double tap, yes.
- Double tap you.
372
00:17:36,965 --> 00:17:39,666
- You got me. I'm murdered.
- Ha-ha-ha.
373
00:17:39,668 --> 00:17:42,100
COLUMBUS: Okay, yeah,
I know what you're thinking.
374
00:17:42,102 --> 00:17:43,837
She's absolutely not my type.
375
00:17:43,839 --> 00:17:45,737
But after Wichita
broke my heart,
376
00:17:45,739 --> 00:17:47,741
I was just excited
to talk to somebody
377
00:17:47,743 --> 00:17:50,644
who smelled like a candle,
and not whiskey and gunpowder.
378
00:17:50,646 --> 00:17:52,311
So Wichita and
Little Rock left.
379
00:17:52,313 --> 00:17:54,813
It was just us guys again.
You know, bachelors.
380
00:17:54,815 --> 00:17:57,382
This guy. You know,
making a mess.
381
00:17:57,384 --> 00:18:01,888
Which actually brings me
to rule number 53, Wet-Naps.
382
00:18:01,890 --> 00:18:03,724
- Wow.
- Yeah.
383
00:18:03,726 --> 00:18:07,659
I can't believe that you keep
all this stuff in your head.
384
00:18:07,661 --> 00:18:08,727
Heh, thank you.
385
00:18:08,729 --> 00:18:10,397
- It's amazing.
- Thank you.
386
00:18:10,399 --> 00:18:12,798
- You know, you're really lucky.
- What?
387
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:16,802
That you found someone so smart
to take care of you.
388
00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:20,240
Most people your age,
they get left all by themselves,
389
00:18:20,242 --> 00:18:22,375
and that can be so sad.
390
00:18:22,377 --> 00:18:25,844
- Yeah. I am so lucky.
- Oh!
391
00:18:25,846 --> 00:18:27,446
[CHUCKLES]
392
00:18:27,448 --> 00:18:29,882
Can we have a little summit
in the Oval Office?
393
00:18:29,884 --> 00:18:30,949
Yeah, sure.
394
00:18:30,951 --> 00:18:32,685
You guys, I can't believe
395
00:18:32,687 --> 00:18:36,455
we're in the White House.
This is soy random.
396
00:18:36,457 --> 00:18:39,458
You got to broom this girl.
You know why she's still alive?
397
00:18:39,460 --> 00:18:42,696
Because zombies eat brains,
and she ain't got any!
398
00:18:42,698 --> 00:18:44,230
All right? It doesn't matter
399
00:18:44,232 --> 00:18:46,366
because I'm hitting
the road come sunup.
400
00:18:46,368 --> 00:18:47,966
- MADISON: Columbus?
- Yes?
401
00:18:47,968 --> 00:18:49,735
Could you maybe give me a tour?
402
00:18:49,737 --> 00:18:53,205
Whoa, this is the Oval Office.
403
00:18:53,207 --> 00:18:55,007
Why do they call it that?
404
00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:56,611
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
405
00:18:57,946 --> 00:18:59,177
- You ready?
- You ready?
406
00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:00,579
- I'm ready too.
- I'm ready.
407
00:19:00,581 --> 00:19:01,550
- Great.
- Too.
408
00:19:02,751 --> 00:19:03,949
[LAUGHS]
409
00:19:03,951 --> 00:19:05,452
- Let's go.
- He's kind of funny.
410
00:19:05,454 --> 00:19:07,553
Yeah, he's great.
Try not to speak to him.
411
00:19:07,555 --> 00:19:08,754
Okay.
412
00:19:08,756 --> 00:19:10,790
COLUMBUS:
The main attraction.
413
00:19:10,792 --> 00:19:12,425
Ta-da, the Lincoln bedroom.
414
00:19:12,427 --> 00:19:14,860
Believe it or not,
Lincoln never even slept here.
415
00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:17,429
I didn't actually
want a tour, silly.
416
00:19:17,431 --> 00:19:19,131
- What? Oh.
- Hi.
417
00:19:19,133 --> 00:19:20,433
Hi.
418
00:19:20,435 --> 00:19:21,701
Mm-mm, mm-mm.
419
00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:24,136
- What's the matter?
- I don't know.
420
00:19:24,138 --> 00:19:27,006
- Don't you think that I'm pretty?
- Yes, you're very pretty.
421
00:19:27,008 --> 00:19:29,876
You're like, "Girl
in Apartment 406" pretty.
422
00:19:29,878 --> 00:19:32,110
I just... I feel
kind of guilty.
423
00:19:32,112 --> 00:19:34,714
Because of Jesus?
424
00:19:34,716 --> 00:19:36,318
[WHISPERS]
I know ways around that.
425
00:19:40,522 --> 00:19:43,388
- No, no. I... Please. I can't.
- [IN NORMAL VOICE] Okay, look,
426
00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:45,291
I've been alone in a freezer
for years.
427
00:19:45,293 --> 00:19:47,127
So either we're doing
this right now,
428
00:19:47,129 --> 00:19:51,063
or I am biting the bullet,
and I am doing the old guy.
429
00:19:51,065 --> 00:19:51,999
Okay.
430
00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:55,467
God! You're so hot!
Oh my God!
431
00:19:55,469 --> 00:19:57,969
- It's the humidity.
- MADISON: Oh, yes!
432
00:19:57,971 --> 00:20:01,209
- [MADISON MOANING]
- [WALLS BANGING]
433
00:20:02,509 --> 00:20:03,544
Holy...
434
00:20:04,946 --> 00:20:08,415
Nutting up, definitely
not shutting up.
435
00:20:08,417 --> 00:20:10,619
- MADISON: Yeah!
- [LOUD CRASHING IN THE DISTANCE]
436
00:20:11,785 --> 00:20:13,121
[♪♪♪]
437
00:20:24,431 --> 00:20:27,099
- Aah! Oh, shit!
- Oh! Whoa!
438
00:20:27,101 --> 00:20:29,601
Sorry, it's Washington's
old flintlock.
439
00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:32,303
It's a gift to Eisenhower
from the emperor of Japan.
440
00:20:32,305 --> 00:20:33,505
Oh, touché.
441
00:20:33,507 --> 00:20:34,974
- I heard a strange noise.
- Yeah.
442
00:20:34,976 --> 00:20:37,109
I've been hearing
some strange noises too.
443
00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:39,344
Oh, yeah. That was us
having sex.
444
00:20:39,346 --> 00:20:41,813
Rule number one.
445
00:20:41,815 --> 00:20:45,150
Yeah, maybe rule number 32
for her.
446
00:20:45,152 --> 00:20:46,188
What? Hey.
447
00:20:47,522 --> 00:20:49,024
Okay. Ready?
448
00:20:50,457 --> 00:20:52,491
- Go!
- Okay, let's go. Come on.
449
00:20:52,493 --> 00:20:55,197
TALLAHASSEE:
Oh, fuck. Shit.
450
00:20:57,265 --> 00:20:59,866
- Honey, I'm home.
- Oh, my God, you're back.
451
00:20:59,868 --> 00:21:02,068
I mean, you're back
or whatever. That's cool.
452
00:21:02,070 --> 00:21:04,070
I'm not staying.
I came to get weapons.
453
00:21:04,072 --> 00:21:05,304
At 1:00 in the morning?
454
00:21:05,306 --> 00:21:06,607
Yeah, after a month missing.
455
00:21:07,976 --> 00:21:10,009
Little Rock's gone.
456
00:21:10,011 --> 00:21:11,346
[♪♪♪]
457
00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:26,192
It was great. It felt so good
to be on the move again.
458
00:21:26,194 --> 00:21:30,362
We've been having a really
good time here too. Together.
459
00:21:30,364 --> 00:21:34,000
We picked up someone new.
Just a boy.
460
00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:36,369
He's a couple years older
than Little Rock,
461
00:21:36,371 --> 00:21:37,570
and he's from Berkeley.
462
00:21:37,572 --> 00:21:39,638
- Berkeley?
- Mm-hm.
463
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:41,073
♪ Don't worry about a thing ♪
464
00:21:41,075 --> 00:21:43,042
- TALLAHASSEE: You said Berkeley?
- Yes.
465
00:21:43,044 --> 00:21:46,178
TALLAHASSEE:
Berke-fucking-ley?
466
00:21:46,180 --> 00:21:49,983
- ♪ 'Cause every little thing ♪
- WICHITA: He plays the guitar.
467
00:21:49,985 --> 00:21:51,350
Shut the fuck up right now!
468
00:21:51,352 --> 00:21:53,153
I know what you're about
to tell me.
469
00:21:53,155 --> 00:21:55,521
She's dating a musician!
470
00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:59,428
Come on, don't you think you're,
like, overreacting a little bit?
471
00:22:02,030 --> 00:22:05,098
Yeah. Yeah. No, I could be
overreacting.
472
00:22:05,100 --> 00:22:06,834
I'm... I'm sorry.
You're right.
473
00:22:08,236 --> 00:22:09,534
You go ahead.
474
00:22:09,536 --> 00:22:11,937
And he's a pacifist.
475
00:22:11,939 --> 00:22:14,374
He has survived
on a strict policy
476
00:22:14,376 --> 00:22:16,745
of conflict avoidance,
like Gandhi.
477
00:22:17,911 --> 00:22:21,246
No!
478
00:22:21,248 --> 00:22:22,915
No!
479
00:22:22,917 --> 00:22:26,319
Birkenstocks, sandals,
wheatgrass!
480
00:22:26,321 --> 00:22:28,553
Fucking basketballs!
481
00:22:28,555 --> 00:22:31,092
[TALLAHASSEE YELLS]
482
00:22:32,393 --> 00:22:34,261
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
483
00:22:37,032 --> 00:22:40,632
No, I really... I have
nothing against pacifists.
484
00:22:40,634 --> 00:22:44,436
I just wanna beat
the shit out of them.
485
00:22:44,438 --> 00:22:50,077
♪ This is my message to you ♪
486
00:22:51,646 --> 00:22:53,045
[APPLAUDS]
487
00:22:53,047 --> 00:22:57,582
Wow, I mean...
You have a beautiful voice.
488
00:22:57,584 --> 00:23:00,452
- Thank you very much. Thank you.
- Yeah.
489
00:23:00,454 --> 00:23:04,956
Hey, have you ever heard
of this place, Graceland?
490
00:23:04,958 --> 00:23:08,160
Elvis was a fraud.
He ripped off the black man.
491
00:23:08,162 --> 00:23:12,799
Oh. I... I don't know. I've just
always wanted to go there.
492
00:23:12,801 --> 00:23:15,301
Yeah, me too. Yeah.
493
00:23:15,303 --> 00:23:20,439
- Graceland would be cool.
- Yeah. Yeah, it would be.
494
00:23:20,441 --> 00:23:22,474
WICHITA: I was adamant
it was a dumb idea,
495
00:23:22,476 --> 00:23:26,111
so I did what I never do
with her, I told her no.
496
00:23:26,113 --> 00:23:28,013
You can guess
what happened next.
497
00:23:28,015 --> 00:23:29,650
[TIRES SQUEALING]
498
00:23:30,685 --> 00:23:32,484
[PANTING]
499
00:23:32,486 --> 00:23:36,658
She left a note,
and then she hit the road.
500
00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:39,861
[GIGGLES]
501
00:23:41,963 --> 00:23:46,999
Does anyone else
get the irony in that? Huh?
502
00:23:47,001 --> 00:23:49,636
I'm so worried, you guys.
503
00:23:49,638 --> 00:23:51,204
They're traveling
all that way,
504
00:23:51,206 --> 00:23:53,105
and all they have
is a fucking guitar.
505
00:23:53,107 --> 00:23:55,841
Yeah, with no intention
of ever swinging it at anything.
506
00:23:55,843 --> 00:23:57,443
You know, because
he's a hippie.
507
00:23:57,445 --> 00:23:59,311
She's supposed to be
killing the dead,
508
00:23:59,313 --> 00:24:01,379
- not following them.
- Oh, God.
509
00:24:01,381 --> 00:24:03,314
There's something going on
out there.
510
00:24:03,316 --> 00:24:05,551
- What?
- Berkeley told us
511
00:24:05,553 --> 00:24:07,352
about this new kind of zombie
512
00:24:07,354 --> 00:24:09,856
that's stronger, and faster,
513
00:24:09,858 --> 00:24:13,492
and deadlier and better
adapted to the hunt.
514
00:24:13,494 --> 00:24:15,727
I'm sorry, but that
sounds totally made up.
515
00:24:15,729 --> 00:24:17,929
If you want us to come
with you, just ask us.
516
00:24:17,931 --> 00:24:20,432
Honestly, I just came back
for guns and ammunition.
517
00:24:20,434 --> 00:24:22,234
Come on. Stop begging.
We'll do it.
518
00:24:22,236 --> 00:24:23,903
You know, this is
all your fault.
519
00:24:23,905 --> 00:24:25,670
- Me?
- If you hadn't pushed her away...
520
00:24:25,672 --> 00:24:27,040
Well,
not exactly, no.
521
00:24:27,042 --> 00:24:28,407
I didn't just run
from him.
522
00:24:28,409 --> 00:24:29,745
She ran from you too.
523
00:24:31,411 --> 00:24:32,546
What?
524
00:24:33,915 --> 00:24:36,881
You... You mean well,
but you're...
525
00:24:36,883 --> 00:24:38,219
kind of overbearing.
526
00:24:39,419 --> 00:24:41,853
Oh, right.
I'm overbearing?
527
00:24:41,855 --> 00:24:43,388
She's not a kid
anymore.
528
00:24:43,390 --> 00:24:45,357
Yeah, she's not a kid,
but I don't know,
529
00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:46,992
it sounds like
she needs us.
530
00:24:46,994 --> 00:24:49,130
Whatever.
We're gonna go get her.
531
00:24:50,230 --> 00:24:52,432
We ride at dawn.
532
00:24:52,434 --> 00:24:54,903
Once she's safe,
I'm going my own way.
533
00:24:57,705 --> 00:25:01,107
So no goodbye,
just like...
534
00:25:01,109 --> 00:25:03,109
- Yeah, I'm terrible at notes.
- A lame note.
535
00:25:03,111 --> 00:25:05,746
Yeah, I know. You mentioned
that in the note.
536
00:25:07,015 --> 00:25:09,316
Uh, I, uh...
537
00:25:10,817 --> 00:25:14,154
I might have overreacted
a little bit.
538
00:25:14,156 --> 00:25:16,288
I mean, the proposal
kind of spooked me.
539
00:25:16,290 --> 00:25:17,723
Mm-hm.
540
00:25:17,725 --> 00:25:19,528
You know what
I'm trying to say.
541
00:25:21,228 --> 00:25:23,094
Oh, God. I'm sorry.
542
00:25:23,096 --> 00:25:25,164
You know how hard it is
for me to say that
543
00:25:25,166 --> 00:25:27,500
because I hate women
who are always apologizing
544
00:25:27,502 --> 00:25:29,901
for things they have
no reason to apologize for.
545
00:25:29,903 --> 00:25:34,842
But in this particular instance,
I actually am really sorry.
546
00:25:36,944 --> 00:25:40,079
Well, thank you.
That actually does mean a lot.
547
00:25:40,081 --> 00:25:42,314
I don't know.
Maybe this could be like a...
548
00:25:42,316 --> 00:25:43,919
Like a turning point for us.
549
00:25:44,986 --> 00:25:46,918
Yeah, maybe.
550
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:49,789
Columbus,
you coming back to bed?
551
00:25:49,791 --> 00:25:51,659
[♪♪♪]
552
00:25:54,996 --> 00:25:56,128
Wow.
553
00:25:56,130 --> 00:25:58,296
Oh... Oh, boy.
554
00:25:58,298 --> 00:26:00,034
I mean, wow!
555
00:26:02,602 --> 00:26:07,042
[SCOFFS] Glad we had this little talk.
Real turning point.
556
00:26:09,009 --> 00:26:10,077
Hi.
557
00:26:12,813 --> 00:26:15,516
- Is that your sister?
- Oh, fuck.
558
00:26:16,551 --> 00:26:17,986
[SIGHS]
559
00:26:20,021 --> 00:26:21,721
You definitely
don't need any help.
560
00:26:21,723 --> 00:26:22,888
- No, I've got it.
- Cool.
561
00:26:22,890 --> 00:26:24,357
The Beast is back.
562
00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:27,959
I cannot wait to get my hands
behind the...
563
00:26:27,961 --> 00:26:31,696
What the fuck?
564
00:26:31,698 --> 00:26:34,667
No, no, no, no, no.
565
00:26:34,669 --> 00:26:39,205
No way is that GD minivan
even sniffing at Graceland,
566
00:26:39,207 --> 00:26:42,808
home to perhaps
America's finest automobile,
567
00:26:42,810 --> 00:26:46,446
Elvis' 1955 Fleetwood Series 60.
568
00:26:46,448 --> 00:26:51,149
No. You know, it takes a real
man to drive a pink Cadillac.
569
00:26:51,151 --> 00:26:52,350
[SIGHS]
570
00:26:52,352 --> 00:26:55,455
Might make that
a rule of my own.
571
00:26:55,457 --> 00:26:56,955
On second thought, fuck that,
572
00:26:56,957 --> 00:26:58,991
rules are for pussies.
Nothing personal.
573
00:26:58,993 --> 00:27:00,994
How could it not be?
That's my thing.
574
00:27:00,996 --> 00:27:02,727
Yeah, you're right.
It was personal.
575
00:27:02,729 --> 00:27:04,330
Yeah. It's gonna be okay.
576
00:27:04,332 --> 00:27:05,965
COLUMBUS:
Even Tallahassee knows
577
00:27:05,967 --> 00:27:07,398
beggars can't be choosers.
578
00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:09,468
Vehicles with working batteries
and parts
579
00:27:09,470 --> 00:27:11,236
are way scarcer nowadays,
580
00:27:11,238 --> 00:27:13,738
thanks to years
of neglect and decline.
581
00:27:13,740 --> 00:27:14,907
Breakaway mirror.
582
00:27:14,909 --> 00:27:16,742
We can't be so picky anymore.
583
00:27:16,744 --> 00:27:18,944
- Clear.
- What? Oh, okay.
584
00:27:18,946 --> 00:27:20,878
- Booyah.
- Okay.
585
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:22,316
Heh!
586
00:27:25,586 --> 00:27:28,020
- This never happened.
- COLUMBUS: I'll get the door.
587
00:27:28,022 --> 00:27:30,258
WICHITA: I got it.
I'm gonna lay in the back.
588
00:27:31,626 --> 00:27:33,524
- Oh, catch.
- Oh!
589
00:27:33,526 --> 00:27:36,261
Shoot. Heh, I got it!
590
00:27:36,263 --> 00:27:39,764
What in the butt?
591
00:27:39,766 --> 00:27:41,600
- Ah, shit.
- What?
592
00:27:41,602 --> 00:27:42,868
- MADISON: Hi!
- Hi.
593
00:27:42,870 --> 00:27:44,503
[CHUCKLES]
594
00:27:44,505 --> 00:27:46,071
Are we dropping her off
595
00:27:46,073 --> 00:27:47,773
at an animal shelter
or something?
596
00:27:47,775 --> 00:27:49,073
She's a human being.
597
00:27:49,075 --> 00:27:51,076
We're not gonna
leave her here alone.
598
00:27:51,078 --> 00:27:54,013
[IMITATES MADISON] We can't
just leave Columbus' girlfriend.
599
00:27:54,015 --> 00:27:55,446
Okay.
600
00:27:55,448 --> 00:27:56,749
A minivan. Nice.
601
00:27:56,751 --> 00:27:58,082
I'm not gonna feel guilty.
602
00:27:58,084 --> 00:27:59,685
You left me in
the harshest way.
603
00:27:59,687 --> 00:28:00,887
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
You recovered quickly.
604
00:28:00,889 --> 00:28:02,888
- Well, thank you.
- Can you help me?
605
00:28:02,890 --> 00:28:04,389
- I got it.
- Okay.
606
00:28:04,391 --> 00:28:06,090
- It's just, like, heavy.
- No problem.
607
00:28:06,092 --> 00:28:07,859
- Thank you.
- Go ahead, get in.
608
00:28:07,861 --> 00:28:09,997
Okay. You are so nice.
609
00:28:18,105 --> 00:28:22,108
Ah, Makkapitew, Askuwheteau,
Sunukkuhkau...
610
00:28:22,110 --> 00:28:23,641
Is he having a seizure?
611
00:28:23,643 --> 00:28:26,110
I'm trying out
Blackfoot names,
612
00:28:26,112 --> 00:28:28,848
so full shushy or you
go back in your mall fridge.
613
00:28:28,850 --> 00:28:30,282
Okay.
614
00:28:30,284 --> 00:28:33,185
Oh, I didn't tell you.
We met at the mall.
615
00:28:33,187 --> 00:28:36,455
- Mm.
- Yeah. I was living there.
616
00:28:36,457 --> 00:28:38,358
Like Dawn of the Dead.
617
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:41,827
Last I checked,
it's the post-acropolis.
618
00:28:41,829 --> 00:28:45,763
It was so sad when
the acropolis struck.
619
00:28:45,765 --> 00:28:47,300
Yeah, I know.
620
00:28:47,302 --> 00:28:49,667
Madison, can you remind me,
when we first met,
621
00:28:49,669 --> 00:28:51,802
did you point a gun at me
and steal my car?
622
00:28:51,804 --> 00:28:54,439
No. When we first met,
623
00:28:54,441 --> 00:28:56,775
I told you
you were really smart.
624
00:28:56,777 --> 00:29:00,478
- Oh, yeah.
- And then I slept with you.
625
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:01,946
That's right. You did.
626
00:29:01,948 --> 00:29:03,014
[ENGINE STARTS]
627
00:29:03,016 --> 00:29:04,483
[LAUGHS]
628
00:29:04,485 --> 00:29:07,418
MADISON:
Road trip! Here we go!
629
00:29:07,420 --> 00:29:09,655
TALLAHASSEE:
This is gonna be a long drive.
630
00:29:09,657 --> 00:29:11,525
[♪♪♪]
631
00:29:12,826 --> 00:29:14,862
[GUNFIRE]
632
00:29:18,698 --> 00:29:21,634
I love the smell of
gunpowder in the morning.
633
00:29:21,636 --> 00:29:24,105
Eh, I'm more of
a patchouli oil guy myself.
634
00:29:25,473 --> 00:29:29,474
You don't...
You don't have weed, do you?
635
00:29:29,476 --> 00:29:32,811
I've always wanted to smoke
way too much weed.
636
00:29:32,813 --> 00:29:34,413
Do I look like
the type of person
637
00:29:34,415 --> 00:29:36,648
that would have weed on me?
638
00:29:36,650 --> 00:29:39,517
Oh, no. I w... That...
I'm sorry, that was...
639
00:29:39,519 --> 00:29:41,887
- Boom, yeah.
- Ha! Oh.
640
00:29:41,889 --> 00:29:44,357
- Of course I do. Oh, I love weed.
- You got me there.
641
00:29:44,359 --> 00:29:47,092
- Look. I mean, look at me.
- Yeah.
642
00:29:47,094 --> 00:29:52,166
I wanted to say it's really nice
to have another woman around.
643
00:29:53,868 --> 00:29:55,033
Yeah.
644
00:29:55,035 --> 00:29:58,203
Like to talk
about relationships.
645
00:29:58,205 --> 00:30:00,408
- Recipes.
- Rings.
646
00:30:01,507 --> 00:30:03,743
Oh, my God.
647
00:30:03,745 --> 00:30:05,346
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, shit.
648
00:30:06,846 --> 00:30:09,715
I know! I found it
in the bedside drawer.
649
00:30:09,717 --> 00:30:12,050
I think it belonged
to the first lady or...
650
00:30:12,052 --> 00:30:13,820
You know what?
I think you're right.
651
00:30:13,822 --> 00:30:16,687
It did belong
to the first lady.
652
00:30:16,689 --> 00:30:19,190
Well, I think it was given
to the first lady,
653
00:30:19,192 --> 00:30:20,891
but she heartlessly
rejected it.
654
00:30:20,893 --> 00:30:25,097
What kind of idiot would
turn down a ring like this?
655
00:30:25,099 --> 00:30:29,267
Maybe an idiot who didn't
wanna be weighed down.
656
00:30:29,269 --> 00:30:31,637
Anchored. Chained
to something immobile.
657
00:30:31,639 --> 00:30:32,737
Hmm...
658
00:30:32,739 --> 00:30:34,205
- [HORN HONKS]
- [MADISON YELPS]
659
00:30:34,207 --> 00:30:35,707
[BRAKES SCREECH]
660
00:30:35,709 --> 00:30:39,078
- Oh, shit. Are you okay?
- Oh, shoot!
661
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:40,745
Forgot the seatbelt rule.
662
00:30:40,747 --> 00:30:43,081
So she knows the rules?
663
00:30:43,083 --> 00:30:44,882
Yeah, I told her
just a few of them.
664
00:30:44,884 --> 00:30:48,620
- Seventy-three. Are there more?
- Nope, that's it.
665
00:30:48,622 --> 00:30:50,755
- I gotta check this out.
- You guys have spent
666
00:30:50,757 --> 00:30:52,358
a lot of time together, huh?
667
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:53,926
That's sweet.
668
00:30:53,928 --> 00:30:56,795
You're cute together.
I like it.
669
00:30:56,797 --> 00:30:58,629
[MOCKINGLY]
Oh!
670
00:30:58,631 --> 00:31:00,435
[♪♪♪]
671
00:31:06,540 --> 00:31:07,809
This looks promising.
672
00:31:15,149 --> 00:31:17,782
He's so flexible.
673
00:31:17,784 --> 00:31:20,252
That's what's so great
about him. He's very bendy.
674
00:31:20,254 --> 00:31:22,620
Ohio, whenever
you're done with that...
675
00:31:22,622 --> 00:31:23,725
What? Yeah.
676
00:31:26,494 --> 00:31:27,926
Ah!
677
00:31:27,928 --> 00:31:29,461
COLUMBUS:
What? No. No, no, no.
678
00:31:29,463 --> 00:31:30,829
No way. Nonstarter.
679
00:31:30,831 --> 00:31:32,863
You know how I feel
about clowns.
680
00:31:32,865 --> 00:31:34,766
- No, not that.
- What?
681
00:31:34,768 --> 00:31:37,137
- TALLAHASSEE: That.
- COLUMBUS: Oh.
682
00:31:39,107 --> 00:31:41,176
- Looks good.
- Mm.
683
00:31:42,342 --> 00:31:44,042
- MADISON: Can I see?
- Hm?
684
00:31:44,044 --> 00:31:45,377
Can I see?
685
00:31:45,379 --> 00:31:48,446
Yeah. Here you go. Yeah.
686
00:31:48,448 --> 00:31:49,750
[GASPS]
687
00:31:51,485 --> 00:31:55,620
- The old man is so tiny.
- Can you see that?
688
00:31:55,622 --> 00:31:56,988
[MADISON GIGGLES]
689
00:31:56,990 --> 00:31:59,125
What's-his-name,
you're so tiny.
690
00:31:59,127 --> 00:32:00,493
Now you're not.
Now you are.
691
00:32:00,495 --> 00:32:01,926
Now you're not. Now you are.
692
00:32:01,928 --> 00:32:04,096
Now you're not. Now you are.
Now you're not.
693
00:32:04,098 --> 00:32:05,996
Tiny. Big. Tiny!
694
00:32:05,998 --> 00:32:09,367
- She is adorable.
- She is. I'm lucky.
695
00:32:09,369 --> 00:32:11,270
Tiny. Big. Tiny.
696
00:32:11,272 --> 00:32:12,972
[CROWS CAWING]
697
00:32:12,974 --> 00:32:14,706
COLUMBUS:
You're overreacting, okay?
698
00:32:14,708 --> 00:32:16,274
Madison's not
a real thing.
699
00:32:16,276 --> 00:32:19,043
It was just circumstance.
It was a lack of options.
700
00:32:19,045 --> 00:32:20,946
You could say
the same thing about us.
701
00:32:20,948 --> 00:32:23,615
- What?
- Circumstance, lack of options.
702
00:32:23,617 --> 00:32:25,150
Really? You really think that?
703
00:32:25,152 --> 00:32:26,985
Whereas you two seem
like soul mates.
704
00:32:26,987 --> 00:32:28,753
Destined to share
deep thoughts.
705
00:32:28,755 --> 00:32:31,090
Maybe you're right,
maybe we are soul mates.
706
00:32:31,092 --> 00:32:33,759
Because she's nice, all right?
And I'm nice.
707
00:32:33,761 --> 00:32:35,394
And you're not.
You're mean.
708
00:32:35,396 --> 00:32:38,397
- Whatever. I'm not mean.
- Yeah, you're kind of mean.
709
00:32:38,399 --> 00:32:40,665
Well, my sister is missing.
She could be dead.
710
00:32:40,667 --> 00:32:42,701
You're screwing
some Forever 21-year-old.
711
00:32:42,703 --> 00:32:44,436
So if I wanna be mean,
I'll be mean.
712
00:32:44,438 --> 00:32:46,105
I don't have
the right shoes.
713
00:32:46,107 --> 00:32:48,840
Oh, you could borrow
a pair of my strappy sandals.
714
00:32:48,842 --> 00:32:49,910
- Really?
- Mm-hm.
715
00:32:51,845 --> 00:32:55,480
Kidding. You... She was ki...
You guys are all very sarcastic.
716
00:32:55,482 --> 00:32:58,649
Yeah, they're not nice people.
Sorry. Just try to ignore them.
717
00:32:58,651 --> 00:33:01,587
- Yeah. Yeah. Ignore us.
- Please, God, ignore us.
718
00:33:01,589 --> 00:33:03,124
Ah, see? Mean.
719
00:33:04,225 --> 00:33:05,991
[♪♪♪]
720
00:33:05,993 --> 00:33:08,159
All right!
721
00:33:08,161 --> 00:33:09,828
This is what
I'm talking about.
722
00:33:09,830 --> 00:33:12,231
We're finally gonna be
riding in style.
723
00:33:12,233 --> 00:33:15,734
I partied with 3 Doors Down
in one of these. It was so...
724
00:33:15,736 --> 00:33:17,668
- [CAR ALARM BLARING]
- COLUMBUS: Oh, shit.
725
00:33:17,670 --> 00:33:19,905
[GROANING]
726
00:33:19,907 --> 00:33:21,208
[GROWLING]
727
00:33:22,342 --> 00:33:23,440
MADISON:
What?
728
00:33:23,442 --> 00:33:24,609
[ALARM SHUTS OFF]
729
00:33:24,611 --> 00:33:26,211
Man, we're getting
good at this.
730
00:33:26,213 --> 00:33:28,246
- TALLAHASSEE: Columbus.
- Tallahassee.
731
00:33:28,248 --> 00:33:29,749
- The hood is 12 o'clock.
- Yes.
732
00:33:29,751 --> 00:33:31,653
Trunk is 6. You're our eyes.
733
00:33:33,153 --> 00:33:35,153
Hey, don't worry,
you guys.
734
00:33:35,155 --> 00:33:38,255
They are much more afraid of us
than we are of them.
735
00:33:38,257 --> 00:33:40,992
God, that is not even
remotely true.
736
00:33:40,994 --> 00:33:43,628
- Well, what do I do?
- You know how cheerleaders
737
00:33:43,630 --> 00:33:45,063
- form a pyramid?
- Yeah.
738
00:33:45,065 --> 00:33:46,499
And the three on the bottom
739
00:33:46,501 --> 00:33:48,399
- anchor the pyramid?
- Oh, yeah.
740
00:33:48,401 --> 00:33:51,403
I don't give a shit what you do,
just stay out of my way.
741
00:33:51,405 --> 00:33:53,804
Okay, 8 o'clock. Eight o'clock.
742
00:33:53,806 --> 00:33:57,109
Did you say the front was 12?
Oh, fuck me. Sorry. Two o'clock.
743
00:33:57,111 --> 00:34:00,078
Eleven! Eleven! Seven-thirty!
744
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:02,214
Six o'clock. Six!
745
00:34:02,216 --> 00:34:04,049
I'll get 6.
746
00:34:04,051 --> 00:34:05,149
[GROANS]
747
00:34:05,151 --> 00:34:06,484
Uh, shit. One-fifteen.
748
00:34:06,486 --> 00:34:07,486
One-thirteen, 1:20.
749
00:34:07,488 --> 00:34:08,887
It's moving that way.
750
00:34:08,889 --> 00:34:10,655
Why is everyone
shouting numbers?
751
00:34:10,657 --> 00:34:12,090
Eleven!
752
00:34:12,092 --> 00:34:13,126
- MADISON: Twelve!
- Six!
753
00:34:14,829 --> 00:34:16,461
COLUMBUS:
Two o'clock!
754
00:34:16,463 --> 00:34:17,365
Eight.
755
00:34:18,832 --> 00:34:20,802
- Six o'clock.
- Shit.
756
00:34:24,305 --> 00:34:25,873
One o'clock. Six-thirty.
757
00:34:28,008 --> 00:34:29,707
Ten! Eight!
758
00:34:29,709 --> 00:34:30,776
[GUN CLICKS]
759
00:34:30,778 --> 00:34:31,943
- Eight!
- Shit.
760
00:34:31,945 --> 00:34:33,010
[ROARING]
761
00:34:33,012 --> 00:34:34,111
Shit!
762
00:34:34,113 --> 00:34:35,382
[MADISON SCREAMS]
763
00:34:37,852 --> 00:34:39,818
[SCREAMS]
764
00:34:39,820 --> 00:34:42,521
- Narsty!
- Thank you.
765
00:34:42,523 --> 00:34:43,521
You're welcome.
766
00:34:43,523 --> 00:34:45,457
One o'clock! Two-thirty.
767
00:34:45,459 --> 00:34:46,561
Three! One!
768
00:34:48,361 --> 00:34:49,664
Okay. I'll get 3.
769
00:34:51,465 --> 00:34:52,664
Right on time, Columbus.
770
00:34:52,666 --> 00:34:54,533
[BLOWS]
771
00:34:54,535 --> 00:34:55,733
One o'clock! Ten-thirty!
772
00:34:55,735 --> 00:34:56,703
[GROWLS]
773
00:34:58,805 --> 00:35:00,171
Eleven! Eleven!
774
00:35:00,173 --> 00:35:01,874
Actually, it's a Homer.
775
00:35:01,876 --> 00:35:04,809
Abort! Abort 11.
Don't waste a bullet.
776
00:35:04,811 --> 00:35:07,845
- Hawking! Hawking!
- What? Oh, shit!
777
00:35:07,847 --> 00:35:09,249
[ROARS]
778
00:35:12,952 --> 00:35:14,153
[GIGGLES]
779
00:35:14,155 --> 00:35:15,454
Yay!
780
00:35:15,456 --> 00:35:16,821
[GROWLS]
781
00:35:16,823 --> 00:35:19,057
- Aah, he's trying to bite me!
- Ninja! Ninja!
782
00:35:19,059 --> 00:35:20,327
Oh, my God!
783
00:35:22,028 --> 00:35:24,195
You saved me.
784
00:35:24,197 --> 00:35:25,499
All right. Settle down.
785
00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:29,166
[GRUNTING]
786
00:35:29,168 --> 00:35:32,870
- Hey, Tal, 1 o'clock.
- Pardon me, Pop-Tart.
787
00:35:32,872 --> 00:35:34,573
Not quite done yet.
788
00:35:34,575 --> 00:35:36,410
[♪♪♪]
789
00:35:43,849 --> 00:35:45,184
TALLAHASSEE:
What the fuck?
790
00:35:45,186 --> 00:35:46,120
[ROARS]
791
00:35:49,724 --> 00:35:51,559
Try to dodge me, motherfucker.
792
00:35:53,427 --> 00:35:57,195
COLUMBUS:
This was our first T-800,
793
00:35:57,197 --> 00:35:59,597
named for the Terminator
it-fucking-self.
794
00:35:59,599 --> 00:36:00,731
Uh...
795
00:36:00,733 --> 00:36:02,666
- Tal?
- Yup?
796
00:36:02,668 --> 00:36:04,137
[ZOMBIE GROANING]
797
00:36:06,773 --> 00:36:09,740
COLUMBUS: T-800s were a
mutated strain of zombie,
798
00:36:09,742 --> 00:36:12,880
stronger, deadlier
and harder to kill.
799
00:36:14,615 --> 00:36:17,452
One plus one
is still two, right?
800
00:36:24,057 --> 00:36:28,426
COLUMBUS: They were the apex
predator, top of the food chain.
801
00:36:28,428 --> 00:36:31,262
Single-minded and relentless
like their namesake,
802
00:36:31,264 --> 00:36:33,030
once they locked on
to a target,
803
00:36:33,032 --> 00:36:35,635
T-800s stopped at nothing
to devour their prey.
804
00:36:36,736 --> 00:36:38,939
What the ever-loving fuck?
805
00:36:51,151 --> 00:36:52,684
Ew.
806
00:36:52,686 --> 00:36:54,787
COLUMBUS:
Seeing that T-800 firsthand
807
00:36:54,789 --> 00:36:56,320
was all the more worrisome
808
00:36:56,322 --> 00:36:58,289
knowing that Little Rock
was out there
809
00:36:58,291 --> 00:37:00,495
with nothing but a hippie
and a guitar.
810
00:37:01,662 --> 00:37:06,501
♪ Like a rollin' stone ♪
811
00:37:08,468 --> 00:37:11,836
Okay.
That song is amazing.
812
00:37:11,838 --> 00:37:12,970
Did you write that?
813
00:37:12,972 --> 00:37:14,140
[CHUCKLES]
814
00:37:15,409 --> 00:37:17,108
Wa... Was that a dumb question?
815
00:37:17,110 --> 00:37:19,477
Sorry, I was like 11
when the zombies took over.
816
00:37:19,479 --> 00:37:20,745
Not a dumb question.
817
00:37:20,747 --> 00:37:22,314
I was laughing
because you think
818
00:37:22,316 --> 00:37:23,914
I'd play some
stupid cover song.
819
00:37:23,916 --> 00:37:25,117
Of course I wrote it.
820
00:37:25,119 --> 00:37:26,318
If you love that,
821
00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:28,287
then you're really
gonna love this.
822
00:37:28,289 --> 00:37:32,122
But it's a work in progress,
so be gentle.
823
00:37:32,124 --> 00:37:33,459
[STRUMS GUITAR]
824
00:37:33,461 --> 00:37:38,198
♪ If I leave here tomorrow ♪
825
00:37:40,733 --> 00:37:44,905
♪ Would you still remember me? ♪
826
00:37:47,807 --> 00:37:51,309
[LYNYRD SKYNYRD PLAYING]: ♪ I
must be traveling Onward... ♪
827
00:37:51,311 --> 00:37:54,845
- A poem by Tallahassee.
- Ah!
828
00:37:54,847 --> 00:38:01,186
Traveling to Graceland
In comfort and class
829
00:38:01,188 --> 00:38:05,590
That Pontiac Trans Sport
Can kiss my ass
830
00:38:05,592 --> 00:38:07,492
- [ALL LAUGH]
- [EXCLAIMS]
831
00:38:07,494 --> 00:38:11,495
- Very good! Very good.
- Here we go, baby! Woo-hoo!
832
00:38:11,497 --> 00:38:14,666
Let's go see the King
and let's go get Little Rock!
833
00:38:14,668 --> 00:38:16,167
[MADISON WHOOPS]
834
00:38:16,169 --> 00:38:17,872
[TALLAHASSEE WHOOPS]
835
00:38:20,307 --> 00:38:21,907
♪ 'Cause I'm as free... ♪
836
00:38:21,909 --> 00:38:23,910
- [MADISON SCREAMS]
- [TIRE HISSING]
837
00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:28,615
- Did... Did we just get...
- Shorter?
838
00:38:30,751 --> 00:38:32,186
I say we take the clown car.
839
00:38:33,521 --> 00:38:35,419
No, no, no. No!
That is a deal-breaker.
840
00:38:35,421 --> 00:38:37,090
No fucking clowns!
841
00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:41,829
[♪♪♪]
842
00:38:44,298 --> 00:38:48,533
In moments of great dishonor
such as this,
843
00:38:48,535 --> 00:38:53,370
ancient samurai warriors
were required to commit seppuku,
844
00:38:53,372 --> 00:38:58,278
or ritual suicide
by disembowelment.
845
00:39:03,150 --> 00:39:04,649
MADISON:
My mom had this car.
846
00:39:04,651 --> 00:39:06,917
- WICHITA: So did mine.
- COLUMBUS: So did mine.
847
00:39:06,919 --> 00:39:08,053
[MADISON GIGGLES]
848
00:39:08,055 --> 00:39:10,454
- [KEY CLICKS]
- [ENGINE STARTS]
849
00:39:10,456 --> 00:39:12,423
TALLAHASSEE:
Fucking minivan.
850
00:39:12,425 --> 00:39:14,758
MADISON:
Back on the road, yay!
851
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:15,829
[MADISON GIGGLES]
852
00:39:25,039 --> 00:39:27,372
I've always wanted
to start a business
853
00:39:27,374 --> 00:39:31,041
where strangers drive strangers
around in their car
854
00:39:31,043 --> 00:39:33,111
- for money.
- Mm.
855
00:39:33,113 --> 00:39:36,247
MADISON: Let's say you were really
drunk and needed a ride home.
856
00:39:36,249 --> 00:39:37,749
You'd just get online
857
00:39:37,751 --> 00:39:39,718
and hop right in
with a stranger.
858
00:39:39,720 --> 00:39:42,352
And they'd take you
anywhere you wanna go.
859
00:39:42,354 --> 00:39:44,923
- Oh, yeah. Who then kills you.
- Yeah. Ha, ha!
860
00:39:44,925 --> 00:39:47,693
They'd have gum
or, like, lollipops.
861
00:39:47,695 --> 00:39:49,461
That was what my parents
taught me.
862
00:39:49,463 --> 00:39:53,164
They were like, "If a stranger
offers you candy or gum,
863
00:39:53,166 --> 00:39:54,633
get in their car."
Great idea.
864
00:39:54,635 --> 00:39:56,334
MADISON:
If they try to murder you,
865
00:39:56,336 --> 00:39:58,470
you can have a system
so you can rate them.
866
00:39:58,472 --> 00:40:01,173
If they try to murder you,
like, "You get zero points."
867
00:40:01,175 --> 00:40:04,642
But if they don't try to murder
you, "You get five points."
868
00:40:04,644 --> 00:40:07,111
Madison, I think it is
a very good idea.
869
00:40:07,113 --> 00:40:09,648
That's... No, I cannot
see that going wrong.
870
00:40:09,650 --> 00:40:12,684
All I'm saying is the
taxi industry was very flawed.
871
00:40:12,686 --> 00:40:13,854
[BURPS]
872
00:40:15,655 --> 00:40:17,990
- Mm, oop...
- Are you okay?
873
00:40:17,992 --> 00:40:20,758
I think I'm, like, hot.
I'm hot.
874
00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:22,292
- Yeah?
- Mm-hm.
875
00:40:22,294 --> 00:40:24,662
I'm used to being in
the freezer all the time.
876
00:40:24,664 --> 00:40:27,532
- Get this off.
- Yeah. Sure. That makes sense.
877
00:40:27,534 --> 00:40:29,903
[STOMACH RUMBLES,
PASSES GAS, BURPS]
878
00:40:33,305 --> 00:40:36,809
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
I feel funny. My tongue...
879
00:40:36,811 --> 00:40:38,776
[SLURRING]
My tongue... My tongue...
880
00:40:38,778 --> 00:40:40,477
Boss?
You're gonna wanna pull over.
881
00:40:40,479 --> 00:40:41,613
[YELLING INCOHERENTLY]
882
00:40:41,615 --> 00:40:42,914
- TALLAHASSEE: No.
- Pull over.
883
00:40:42,916 --> 00:40:44,314
We're making good progress.
884
00:40:44,316 --> 00:40:45,316
- Ugh!
- Pull over!
885
00:40:45,318 --> 00:40:46,984
- Yeah.
- Okay. Okay.
886
00:40:46,986 --> 00:40:48,255
[GROANING]
887
00:40:49,889 --> 00:40:51,191
[♪♪♪]
888
00:40:52,860 --> 00:40:54,693
[GROANS]
889
00:40:54,695 --> 00:40:55,827
- Oh.
- Oh.
890
00:40:55,829 --> 00:40:56,861
Chunkage.
891
00:40:56,863 --> 00:40:58,762
Maybe she'll pull through.
892
00:40:58,764 --> 00:41:01,399
What? You are the one
who says "don't take chances."
893
00:41:01,401 --> 00:41:03,568
[RETCHING LOUDLY]
894
00:41:03,570 --> 00:41:06,573
So who wants do the honors?
895
00:41:07,907 --> 00:41:10,608
I mean, personally,
I wouldn't mind,
896
00:41:10,610 --> 00:41:13,979
but I don't want
you guys calling me selfish.
897
00:41:13,981 --> 00:41:17,182
Hey, come on. She is a living,
thinking being. Okay?
898
00:41:17,184 --> 00:41:18,716
She's a living being.
899
00:41:18,718 --> 00:41:23,254
Look, I know you guys
are in love or whatever,
900
00:41:23,256 --> 00:41:25,689
but in two minutes,
she's gonna become a:
901
00:41:25,691 --> 00:41:27,591
[GROWLS, HISSES]
902
00:41:27,593 --> 00:41:31,930
A zombie, not a velociraptor.
And it's the right thing to do.
903
00:41:31,932 --> 00:41:35,434
If you love something,
you shoot it in the face
904
00:41:35,436 --> 00:41:38,169
so it doesn't become
a flesh-eating monster.
905
00:41:38,171 --> 00:41:39,604
I know.
906
00:41:39,606 --> 00:41:41,673
TALLAHASSEE:
She's making a good point.
907
00:41:41,675 --> 00:41:47,945
Maybe it's time for you to be
the Brave Little Toaster.
908
00:41:47,947 --> 00:41:50,517
[RETCHES, GROANING]
909
00:41:52,820 --> 00:41:55,086
COLUMBUS: They say when
something bad happens,
910
00:41:55,088 --> 00:41:56,821
you have three choices:
911
00:41:56,823 --> 00:42:00,293
Let it define you, destroy you,
or strengthen you.
912
00:42:02,428 --> 00:42:03,961
[COCKS GUN]
913
00:42:03,963 --> 00:42:06,166
Time to teach Lennie
about the rabbits.
914
00:42:08,635 --> 00:42:10,901
[RETCHES, GROANING]
915
00:42:10,903 --> 00:42:13,004
No! Don't come with me!
Don't come with me!
916
00:42:13,006 --> 00:42:14,805
COLUMBUS:
Madison, Madison, please.
917
00:42:14,807 --> 00:42:17,142
- Madison, please. Please, please.
- Don't hurt me!
918
00:42:17,144 --> 00:42:18,644
- No, no, no!
- Wait. Listen to me!
919
00:42:18,646 --> 00:42:19,878
- Please. Wait.
- No, no, no!
920
00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:22,046
- Madison, just wait.
- I'm a monster.
921
00:42:22,048 --> 00:42:23,814
- I'm a monster.
- Please, please.
922
00:42:23,816 --> 00:42:26,450
Listen. I realize we don't
know each other that well.
923
00:42:26,452 --> 00:42:28,954
I mean, well, we do
in the biblical sense, yes.
924
00:42:28,956 --> 00:42:30,990
But I think you're
a really great person.
925
00:42:32,659 --> 00:42:33,992
[GROANS]
926
00:42:33,994 --> 00:42:35,225
Well, not now.
927
00:42:35,227 --> 00:42:37,495
[SCREAMING]
928
00:42:37,497 --> 00:42:39,430
I'm sorry.
929
00:42:39,432 --> 00:42:43,267
[SHOTGUN FIRES TWICE]
930
00:42:43,269 --> 00:42:45,171
[♪♪♪]
931
00:42:52,278 --> 00:42:54,479
Thanks.
932
00:42:54,481 --> 00:42:56,314
Can we just, uh...
933
00:42:56,316 --> 00:42:58,349
I'm so sorry.
934
00:42:58,351 --> 00:43:00,617
All right. Just...
Come on, come on, let's go.
935
00:43:00,619 --> 00:43:01,554
[ENGINE STARTS]
936
00:43:11,530 --> 00:43:13,530
I'm not gonna lie and say
937
00:43:13,532 --> 00:43:16,236
that I'm broken up
about it, but, um...
938
00:43:17,838 --> 00:43:19,972
- I am sorry.
- Yeah.
939
00:43:19,974 --> 00:43:22,039
- She didn't deserve that.
- Thanks, man.
940
00:43:22,041 --> 00:43:26,747
He's right. That's a terrible
way to go, even for...
941
00:43:27,981 --> 00:43:30,213
- It's....
- Oh, come on. It's Madison.
942
00:43:30,215 --> 00:43:31,550
- You know that.
- Madison!
943
00:43:31,552 --> 00:43:33,617
You know that, okay?
Her name is Madison.
944
00:43:33,619 --> 00:43:36,854
Or her name was Madison.
And she was a real person, okay?
945
00:43:36,856 --> 00:43:38,990
She had, you know,
complex feelings
946
00:43:38,992 --> 00:43:40,791
and emotions and interests.
947
00:43:40,793 --> 00:43:45,896
She liked dolphins and rainbows,
you know? And double rainbows.
948
00:43:45,898 --> 00:43:48,633
- I'm agreeing. It's sad.
- Okay.
949
00:43:48,635 --> 00:43:50,367
That is obviously not
what I wanted.
950
00:43:50,369 --> 00:43:53,070
- What is it that you do want?
- I wanna find my sister.
951
00:43:53,072 --> 00:43:54,238
Me too.
952
00:43:54,240 --> 00:43:55,939
- Good.
- Good.
953
00:43:55,941 --> 00:43:58,408
- Good. Great. Awesome.
- Great, in fact. Great.
954
00:43:58,410 --> 00:44:00,278
This is gonna be
a long drive.
955
00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:01,782
[♪♪♪]
956
00:44:11,457 --> 00:44:13,024
WICHITA:
This is it.
957
00:44:13,026 --> 00:44:16,227
Hey, little buddy,
don't be cruel to me
958
00:44:16,229 --> 00:44:18,432
for waking you up,
but we're here.
959
00:44:19,566 --> 00:44:22,399
Oh. Oh, my God.
960
00:44:22,401 --> 00:44:23,834
Oh, my God.
961
00:44:23,836 --> 00:44:26,171
[LAUGHS]
962
00:44:26,173 --> 00:44:28,673
Every choice I've ever
made in my life
963
00:44:28,675 --> 00:44:31,608
has been leading me
to this moment right here,
964
00:44:31,610 --> 00:44:34,579
right now,
3764 Elvis Presley Boulevard.
965
00:44:34,581 --> 00:44:38,048
I feel like a 1954 teenybopper.
966
00:44:38,050 --> 00:44:39,119
And here comes...
967
00:44:41,722 --> 00:44:42,656
No.
968
00:44:45,557 --> 00:44:47,624
No, no, no!
969
00:44:47,626 --> 00:44:50,294
Hey, dude, if you need,
like, a moment or...
970
00:44:50,296 --> 00:44:52,997
Oh, my God. No Graceland.
971
00:44:52,999 --> 00:44:54,731
No Beast.
972
00:44:54,733 --> 00:44:57,501
- No Little Rock.
- TALLAHASSEE: No Little Rock?
973
00:44:57,503 --> 00:44:59,303
Am I not allowed
974
00:44:59,305 --> 00:45:04,075
one cock-sucking duck-fucking
little break in this world?
975
00:45:04,077 --> 00:45:06,178
You're not the only one
that's upset.
976
00:45:06,180 --> 00:45:09,948
Just... Just drive.
Drive, drive. Drive now!
977
00:45:09,950 --> 00:45:11,718
Get away from here. Go!
978
00:45:15,688 --> 00:45:17,821
COLUMBUS:
Graceland was a pile of rubble,
979
00:45:17,823 --> 00:45:19,457
Little Rock was still missing,
980
00:45:19,459 --> 00:45:21,325
and we were unsure
of our next move.
981
00:45:21,327 --> 00:45:23,961
But sometimes, you just have
to follow the signs.
982
00:45:23,963 --> 00:45:25,930
Hm.
983
00:45:25,932 --> 00:45:28,135
Well, when Z-land
serves you lemons...
984
00:45:30,336 --> 00:45:32,539
Hey, Florida, 11 o'clock.
985
00:45:35,809 --> 00:45:37,307
What?
986
00:45:37,309 --> 00:45:41,314
- Hound Dog Hotel.
- Oh, what a bunch of bull.
987
00:45:43,249 --> 00:45:46,053
- Whoa, the Beast!
- Little Rock!
988
00:45:48,854 --> 00:45:50,323
[COCKS GUN]
989
00:45:54,026 --> 00:45:56,727
TALLAHASSEE:
Damn. Wow,
990
00:45:56,729 --> 00:45:58,495
for a place
that ain't Graceland,
991
00:45:58,497 --> 00:46:00,798
it sure looks a hell
of a lot like Graceland.
992
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:02,399
- Yeah, it does.
- Here's the idea.
993
00:46:02,401 --> 00:46:04,035
We'll split up.
I'll go this way.
994
00:46:04,037 --> 00:46:05,836
No, no, no.
I should talk to her.
995
00:46:05,838 --> 00:46:08,907
I'm her sister. I'll talk to
her first. You guys stay here.
996
00:46:08,909 --> 00:46:10,675
Mm, sound.
997
00:46:10,677 --> 00:46:13,878
- Huh.
- Buh, buh, buh, buh.
998
00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:16,379
- Little respect.
- Why? He's dead probably.
999
00:46:16,381 --> 00:46:18,851
Oh. Oh, for you. Okay.
1000
00:46:21,387 --> 00:46:23,588
- This is so degrading.
- It's not for me.
1001
00:46:23,590 --> 00:46:24,557
Yeah, I know.
1002
00:46:25,892 --> 00:46:27,392
Okay.
1003
00:46:27,394 --> 00:46:29,394
- Oh, yeah.
- Smells like a wet dog died.
1004
00:46:29,396 --> 00:46:31,129
- That's not... Push it.
- I am.
1005
00:46:31,131 --> 00:46:33,934
- Square peg, round hole. Stop.
- Yeah, okay. Sorry.
1006
00:46:38,505 --> 00:46:41,071
Oh, my God. It's uncanny.
1007
00:46:41,073 --> 00:46:43,374
This is incredible.
1008
00:46:43,376 --> 00:46:47,010
It's a perfect fit. I feel
like Cinderella at the ball.
1009
00:46:47,012 --> 00:46:51,249
Are you jealous that I have
the same size shoe as Elvis?
1010
00:46:51,251 --> 00:46:54,955
No. It's not like those
are Elvis' actual shoes.
1011
00:46:58,023 --> 00:46:59,459
Sorry.
1012
00:47:03,396 --> 00:47:04,430
[♪♪♪]
1013
00:47:19,746 --> 00:47:23,481
[LOUDLY]
♪ Well, I never been to Spain ♪
1014
00:47:23,483 --> 00:47:26,584
[PLAYING TUNE ON PIANO]
1015
00:47:26,586 --> 00:47:27,821
Little Rock?
1016
00:47:32,624 --> 00:47:35,795
♪ The ladies are insane ♪
1017
00:47:38,631 --> 00:47:42,469
♪ And they don't have it easy ♪
1018
00:47:48,140 --> 00:47:51,910
♪ Well, I never been
To heaven... ♪
1019
00:47:51,912 --> 00:47:53,477
Ow!
1020
00:47:53,479 --> 00:47:54,912
[GUN COCKS]
1021
00:47:54,914 --> 00:47:58,149
- Start talking.
- Ah, you first.
1022
00:47:58,151 --> 00:48:00,651
- Hi, my name's Tallahassee.
- Nevada.
1023
00:48:00,653 --> 00:48:03,354
- Which part?
- Nevada's as close as you get.
1024
00:48:03,356 --> 00:48:05,356
Now, what are you doing
in the Hound Dog?
1025
00:48:05,358 --> 00:48:08,327
[IMITATES ELVIS]
I got a thing for the King.
1026
00:48:09,863 --> 00:48:12,830
No, no,
don't shoot my friends.
1027
00:48:12,832 --> 00:48:15,432
- Anybody else in here with you?
- [IN NORMAL VOICE] No, just us.
1028
00:48:15,434 --> 00:48:18,836
We're all civilized people.
Let's just put the guns down.
1029
00:48:18,838 --> 00:48:21,939
Why the hell are you wearing
Elvis' actual shoes?
1030
00:48:21,941 --> 00:48:22,976
Comfort.
1031
00:48:24,644 --> 00:48:26,843
- You live here?
- Yeah.
1032
00:48:26,845 --> 00:48:29,946
So that car out front, the girl
who was driving it, is she...
1033
00:48:29,948 --> 00:48:33,017
Gone. She and that poser
peace lover of hers...
1034
00:48:33,019 --> 00:48:35,586
- Berkeley.
- Berkeley.
1035
00:48:35,588 --> 00:48:36,954
...took off a few days ago.
1036
00:48:36,956 --> 00:48:38,957
And trust me,
they shouldn't have.
1037
00:48:38,959 --> 00:48:40,191
It's not safe out there.
1038
00:48:40,193 --> 00:48:43,093
- Damn it.
- Why didn't they take the Beast?
1039
00:48:43,095 --> 00:48:45,028
He said it was
too "establishment."
1040
00:48:45,030 --> 00:48:48,365
Oh, I will kill
that little fart snack myself.
1041
00:48:48,367 --> 00:48:50,367
You're lucky I didn't do
the same to you.
1042
00:48:50,369 --> 00:48:53,506
Seriously. You know how close
I came to Murraying you?
1043
00:48:56,543 --> 00:48:58,709
To what-ing him?
1044
00:48:58,711 --> 00:49:01,678
Murraying him. You know,
when you shoot someone
1045
00:49:01,680 --> 00:49:03,648
because you think
they're a zombie.
1046
00:49:03,650 --> 00:49:06,416
Apparently, that's
how Bill Murray died.
1047
00:49:06,418 --> 00:49:08,553
Wow, God, who's Bill Murray?
I never...
1048
00:49:08,555 --> 00:49:10,187
I don't even know
what that is.
1049
00:49:10,189 --> 00:49:12,689
Oh, the actor.
That's so sad.
1050
00:49:12,691 --> 00:49:14,392
I don't read Variety.
That's sad.
1051
00:49:14,394 --> 00:49:17,061
Sorry if you knew him.
If you didn't, I'm still sorry.
1052
00:49:17,063 --> 00:49:19,829
It's sad when anybody dies.
Sounds like an urban legend.
1053
00:49:19,831 --> 00:49:22,401
- It happened.
- I doubt it. It's weird. What?
1054
00:49:25,072 --> 00:49:27,504
I'll say this about Murray,
1055
00:49:27,506 --> 00:49:31,575
if I ever find out who did him,
I'm gonna do him.
1056
00:49:31,577 --> 00:49:33,711
Me too. I'll be...
You first, but me second.
1057
00:49:33,713 --> 00:49:35,479
WICHITA:
Don't listen to this guy.
1058
00:49:35,481 --> 00:49:37,148
He's killed more
celebrities than cocaine.
1059
00:49:37,150 --> 00:49:38,883
The girl that was here before,
1060
00:49:38,885 --> 00:49:40,517
did she say
where she was going?
1061
00:49:40,519 --> 00:49:43,488
No, but that idiot Berkeley
1062
00:49:43,490 --> 00:49:45,423
wouldn't shut up about it.
1063
00:49:45,425 --> 00:49:47,658
Babylon is a commune,
safe haven,
1064
00:49:47,660 --> 00:49:49,225
protected on all sides.
1065
00:49:49,227 --> 00:49:52,662
Completely pacifist.
No guns or violence of any kind.
1066
00:49:52,664 --> 00:49:54,432
A lot of young people too,
you know.
1067
00:49:54,434 --> 00:49:56,501
Generation Z living
in peace and harmony.
1068
00:49:56,503 --> 00:49:58,769
- It sounds cool.
- I know you had your heart set
1069
00:49:58,771 --> 00:50:03,610
on this Graceland, but this
is mucho, mucho better.
1070
00:50:05,110 --> 00:50:06,776
[GROWLING]
1071
00:50:06,778 --> 00:50:07,981
[♪♪♪]
1072
00:50:10,651 --> 00:50:13,885
This is a very good replica
of the King's Jungle Room,
1073
00:50:13,887 --> 00:50:16,220
where he recorded
his last two albums.
1074
00:50:16,222 --> 00:50:20,057
From Elvis Presley Boulevard,
Memphis, Tennessee and...
1075
00:50:20,059 --> 00:50:22,225
And Moody Blue.
1076
00:50:22,227 --> 00:50:23,430
You know your Elvis.
1077
00:50:24,896 --> 00:50:27,767
Every lover of the King
has a story.
1078
00:50:28,901 --> 00:50:30,434
What's yours?
1079
00:50:30,436 --> 00:50:33,838
My mama took me to see Elvis
when I was a kid.
1080
00:50:33,840 --> 00:50:36,606
Something about him.
Attitude, the music...
1081
00:50:36,608 --> 00:50:39,109
The hips, the ass.
1082
00:50:39,111 --> 00:50:41,111
Well, I was 10,
but with Elvis,
1083
00:50:41,113 --> 00:50:42,713
there is something
for everyone.
1084
00:50:42,715 --> 00:50:44,981
Cut to later,
I'm in high school.
1085
00:50:44,983 --> 00:50:47,919
And my buddy
Frankie Hammond says, uh:
1086
00:50:47,921 --> 00:50:50,254
"Do your Elvis."
1087
00:50:50,256 --> 00:50:53,591
I said, "We're in the library.
It's gonna be loud."
1088
00:50:53,593 --> 00:50:56,126
He convinces me. He starts
tapping his pencil,
1089
00:50:56,128 --> 00:50:57,363
and I get up.
1090
00:51:01,168 --> 00:51:04,602
♪ You ain't nothing
But a hound dog ♪
1091
00:51:04,604 --> 00:51:07,437
♪ Crying all the time
Bo, bo, doo-de-doo ♪
1092
00:51:07,439 --> 00:51:10,207
Everybody starts gathering
around and clapping,
1093
00:51:10,209 --> 00:51:13,144
and I jumped on a table.
I finish off with a flourish.
1094
00:51:13,146 --> 00:51:15,144
♪ You ain't never
Caught a rabbit ♪
1095
00:51:15,146 --> 00:51:17,013
♪ You ain't no friend of mine ♪
1096
00:51:17,015 --> 00:51:18,481
[TAPS OUT DRUM BEATS]
1097
00:51:18,483 --> 00:51:21,820
Yeah! And the whole place,
thunderous applause.
1098
00:51:21,822 --> 00:51:24,988
And up comes the cutest girl
in the school,
1099
00:51:24,990 --> 00:51:29,193
Robin Rogers, who never
gave me the time of day before.
1100
00:51:29,195 --> 00:51:31,528
She plants a kiss
on my cheek.
1101
00:51:31,530 --> 00:51:33,830
And for a moment, just one,
1102
00:51:33,832 --> 00:51:35,601
I felt like the King.
1103
00:51:38,671 --> 00:51:41,508
I suddenly feel a little jealous
of Robin Rogers.
1104
00:51:42,642 --> 00:51:43,675
[CLEARS THROAT]
1105
00:51:43,677 --> 00:51:44,644
You don't say.
1106
00:51:46,945 --> 00:51:48,414
I don't know about you...
1107
00:51:50,050 --> 00:51:51,752
...but I feel my temperature
rising.
1108
00:51:53,153 --> 00:51:54,488
[COUGHS]
1109
00:51:56,356 --> 00:51:57,557
Mm.
1110
00:52:00,492 --> 00:52:03,294
This is Babylon.
1111
00:52:03,296 --> 00:52:06,696
Oh, like those ancient
hanging gardens.
1112
00:52:06,698 --> 00:52:08,832
- Huh?
- Of Babylon.
1113
00:52:08,834 --> 00:52:12,068
No, no. It's named
for that cool David Gray song.
1114
00:52:12,070 --> 00:52:13,906
Man, I wish I'd written
that one.
1115
00:52:15,242 --> 00:52:18,041
No guns allowed
is our one rule.
1116
00:52:18,043 --> 00:52:21,213
- That, and no group sex.
- MAN: All right. Hand them over.
1117
00:52:23,849 --> 00:52:26,082
Here you go.
1118
00:52:26,084 --> 00:52:28,519
No guns. No guns.
Just hugs.
1119
00:52:28,521 --> 00:52:30,354
Then welcome.
1120
00:52:30,356 --> 00:52:32,722
Come on, señorita.
You're gonna love this place.
1121
00:52:32,724 --> 00:52:34,791
It's completely safe
and entirely organic.
1122
00:52:34,793 --> 00:52:36,727
- LITTLE ROCK: This is so cool.
- MAN: All right.
1123
00:52:36,729 --> 00:52:39,430
We're gonna melt your guns here
and give you a pendant.
1124
00:52:39,432 --> 00:52:41,265
- LITTLE ROCK: They melt it?
- BERKELEY: Yeah.
1125
00:52:41,267 --> 00:52:42,600
MAN:
It's a symbolic thing.
1126
00:52:42,602 --> 00:52:44,234
BERKELEY:
Goodbye, violence.
1127
00:52:44,236 --> 00:52:45,870
Hello, peace.
1128
00:52:45,872 --> 00:52:47,070
MAN:
Once we're done,
1129
00:52:47,072 --> 00:52:48,705
we'll take you up
to the rooftop.
1130
00:52:48,707 --> 00:52:49,874
I hope you like stairs.
1131
00:52:49,876 --> 00:52:50,811
MAN:
That's good.
1132
00:52:54,680 --> 00:52:57,048
- Thanks.
- Welcome to Babylon.
1133
00:52:57,050 --> 00:52:58,950
Let me show you the way.
1134
00:52:58,952 --> 00:53:00,084
Aw, right on.
1135
00:53:00,086 --> 00:53:01,988
[♪♪♪]
1136
00:53:04,590 --> 00:53:06,289
Hey, brother. What's up?
1137
00:53:06,291 --> 00:53:07,994
- Hi.
- Yeah.
1138
00:53:27,746 --> 00:53:31,282
TALLAHASSEE [IMITATING ELVIS]: Wake
up, my little blue suede baby.
1139
00:53:31,284 --> 00:53:33,316
It's now or never. Ooh!
1140
00:53:33,318 --> 00:53:36,687
My friends say you're sleeping
like a tired pup.
1141
00:53:36,689 --> 00:53:38,789
[CAR HORN BLOWS "DIXIE"]
1142
00:53:38,791 --> 00:53:39,957
What the fuck?
1143
00:53:39,959 --> 00:53:41,191
[ENGINE REVVING]
1144
00:53:41,193 --> 00:53:42,195
Shit.
1145
00:53:43,461 --> 00:53:45,130
[GLASS SHATTERS]
1146
00:53:49,300 --> 00:53:51,769
Oh, no, no, no!
1147
00:53:51,771 --> 00:53:53,771
This is not happening!
1148
00:53:53,773 --> 00:53:56,908
This is not fucking happening!
1149
00:53:56,910 --> 00:53:59,108
Hey, motherfucker,
that's my ride!
1150
00:53:59,110 --> 00:54:01,644
Oh, my apologies,
tiny Elvis.
1151
00:54:01,646 --> 00:54:04,948
Just didn't expect anything
to be parked in my driveway.
1152
00:54:04,950 --> 00:54:06,019
Your driveway?
1153
00:54:07,753 --> 00:54:10,254
That's right. My driveway.
1154
00:54:10,256 --> 00:54:12,189
Well, that's funny.
When I parked in it,
1155
00:54:12,191 --> 00:54:13,557
no one told me to pull out.
1156
00:54:13,559 --> 00:54:15,325
[SCOFFS]
1157
00:54:15,327 --> 00:54:17,794
Well, actually,
it's my driveway.
1158
00:54:17,796 --> 00:54:19,629
Hey, Nevada.
1159
00:54:19,631 --> 00:54:24,535
But see, when I'm
in town, I use it.
1160
00:54:24,537 --> 00:54:28,006
Well, I'm in town now,
and I'm using it.
1161
00:54:28,008 --> 00:54:30,140
Keep talking like this,
and I can arrange
1162
00:54:30,142 --> 00:54:33,042
so neither of you
ever uses my driveway again.
1163
00:54:33,044 --> 00:54:35,077
I don't think they're talking
about the driveway.
1164
00:54:35,079 --> 00:54:36,481
No, I don't think so.
1165
00:54:36,483 --> 00:54:38,749
- You happy now? Good move.
- Satisfied? Good job.
1166
00:54:38,751 --> 00:54:41,584
- Does he remind you of...?
- Yeah, it's weird.
1167
00:54:41,586 --> 00:54:44,354
BOTH:
I don't like you at all.
1168
00:54:44,356 --> 00:54:45,722
It's not weird,
it's creepy.
1169
00:54:45,724 --> 00:54:47,390
It's like
an un-funhouse mirror.
1170
00:54:47,392 --> 00:54:50,660
I think you double-parked
or more perpendicular-parked.
1171
00:54:50,662 --> 00:54:52,696
- Hope we don't get a ticket.
- Whoa.
1172
00:54:52,698 --> 00:54:54,798
- Calm down.
- I'm just ragging you.
1173
00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:57,367
- What is going on here?
- What?
1174
00:54:57,369 --> 00:54:59,470
- What do you mean, "what"?
- What?
1175
00:54:59,472 --> 00:55:02,305
- Does he not remind you of...?
- Hello, everyone.
1176
00:55:02,307 --> 00:55:04,508
Of... Of what?
1177
00:55:04,510 --> 00:55:06,010
- This is Albuquerque.
- Howdy.
1178
00:55:06,012 --> 00:55:08,144
- I'm Flagstaff.
- Hey. I'm Columbus.
1179
00:55:08,146 --> 00:55:09,747
Oh, great.
1180
00:55:09,749 --> 00:55:12,483
Uh, this is Tallahassee,
Wichita,
1181
00:55:12,485 --> 00:55:14,684
- and I guess you know Nevada.
- Yes, I do.
1182
00:55:14,686 --> 00:55:15,852
Easy, cowboy.
1183
00:55:15,854 --> 00:55:17,887
So sorry about your ex-car.
1184
00:55:17,889 --> 00:55:21,260
I guess, as I like to say,
expect the unexpected.
1185
00:55:22,528 --> 00:55:25,595
- It's one of my commandments.
- Oh.
1186
00:55:25,597 --> 00:55:27,564
- Commandments?
- Yeah. Sort of guidelines
1187
00:55:27,566 --> 00:55:29,700
for staying alive.
I've got loads of them.
1188
00:55:29,702 --> 00:55:31,736
- Hm, interesting.
- Number one is teamwork.
1189
00:55:31,738 --> 00:55:34,305
Teamwork. That's so great.
1190
00:55:34,307 --> 00:55:36,207
I spent a long time
thinking about it.
1191
00:55:36,209 --> 00:55:38,876
I have rules, you know,
which is, like, less biblical.
1192
00:55:38,878 --> 00:55:41,611
I love rules. Without rules,
everything's chaos.
1193
00:55:41,613 --> 00:55:44,115
- Thank you.
- Columbus has quite a few rules.
1194
00:55:44,117 --> 00:55:46,216
- I do.
- Awesome. Like what?
1195
00:55:46,218 --> 00:55:48,619
- I don't wanna toot my own horn.
- Go on, toot.
1196
00:55:48,621 --> 00:55:50,854
- Let me toot for him. Uh...
- Thank you.
1197
00:55:50,856 --> 00:55:53,858
- Number one, cardio.
- That's right.
1198
00:55:53,860 --> 00:55:55,026
Cardio. Okay.
1199
00:55:55,028 --> 00:55:57,061
- What?
- I don't mean to laugh.
1200
00:55:57,063 --> 00:56:01,064
It's just that cardiovascular
fitness is his number 29,
1201
00:56:01,066 --> 00:56:02,867
meaning he has
28 other commandments
1202
00:56:02,869 --> 00:56:04,468
that he finds more important,
1203
00:56:04,470 --> 00:56:07,070
like, say, what's one
of your great ones?
1204
00:56:07,072 --> 00:56:09,774
Number 12. The world
is your bathroom, meaning
1205
00:56:09,776 --> 00:56:13,044
you can whip it out wherever
you want, and have at it.
1206
00:56:13,046 --> 00:56:15,245
Oh, just whip it out
wherever you want!
1207
00:56:15,247 --> 00:56:16,780
That sounds a little uncouth.
1208
00:56:16,782 --> 00:56:19,082
The "whip it out" part's
for guys, obviously.
1209
00:56:19,084 --> 00:56:22,019
If you're a woman,
you can reveal it.
1210
00:56:22,021 --> 00:56:24,287
- Whichever.
- I have beware of bathrooms.
1211
00:56:24,289 --> 00:56:26,490
Yeah, I'm just generally
careful around them.
1212
00:56:26,492 --> 00:56:28,624
But it's not a competition.
1213
00:56:28,626 --> 00:56:31,495
- No, doesn't have to be.
- But number 18 is limber up.
1214
00:56:31,497 --> 00:56:33,530
- But that's...
- That's fine. I have warm up.
1215
00:56:33,532 --> 00:56:36,600
Again, not a competition,
but commandment number 45
1216
00:56:36,602 --> 00:56:38,869
for me is, well,
mind your manners.
1217
00:56:38,871 --> 00:56:40,470
Just because
it's the apocalypse
1218
00:56:40,472 --> 00:56:42,106
doesn't mean
you have to be rude.
1219
00:56:42,108 --> 00:56:44,006
Keep your hands
to yourself, number 42.
1220
00:56:44,008 --> 00:56:45,142
Do you have sunscreen?
1221
00:56:45,144 --> 00:56:46,878
- Just shade.
- Shade. Of course.
1222
00:56:46,880 --> 00:56:49,847
It's free. It's everywhere.
Yeah. Number two, double tap.
1223
00:56:49,849 --> 00:56:52,249
I have number five,
confirm your kill.
1224
00:56:52,251 --> 00:56:54,285
- Confirm your kill.
- Avoid perishables.
1225
00:56:54,287 --> 00:56:56,254
- Do you have that?
- Sorry. Ziploc bags.
1226
00:56:56,256 --> 00:56:58,321
- Same thing, different word.
- Yeah. Exactly.
1227
00:56:58,323 --> 00:57:00,691
I probably would shy away
from the word "Ziploc"
1228
00:57:00,693 --> 00:57:02,425
because I try
to avoid name brands.
1229
00:57:02,427 --> 00:57:05,495
Okay, great. So, what brought
you guys back so soon?
1230
00:57:05,497 --> 00:57:08,499
We was headed for the Rockies,
but the goddamn Bolts...
1231
00:57:08,501 --> 00:57:10,334
- Bolts?
- Yeah.
1232
00:57:10,336 --> 00:57:11,936
The zombies
out on the plains.
1233
00:57:11,938 --> 00:57:14,171
They're a lot tougher
than what we're used to.
1234
00:57:14,173 --> 00:57:17,173
I guess because of all
the running and hunting.
1235
00:57:17,175 --> 00:57:19,343
So we call them Bolts,
as in Usain.
1236
00:57:19,345 --> 00:57:20,878
As in pretty fucking athletic.
1237
00:57:20,880 --> 00:57:22,747
COLUMBUS:
No, that makes total sense.
1238
00:57:22,749 --> 00:57:25,249
- We call them T-800s.
- Terminator. Yes! I love it.
1239
00:57:25,251 --> 00:57:26,550
COLUMBUS:
Really?
1240
00:57:26,552 --> 00:57:28,184
Yes. My favorite movie.
Well, T2.
1241
00:57:28,186 --> 00:57:30,019
Yeah, T2 is my
second favorite movie.
1242
00:57:30,021 --> 00:57:33,090
- What's number one?
- Uh, it's Fantasia.
1243
00:57:33,092 --> 00:57:34,256
[CHUCKLES]
1244
00:57:34,258 --> 00:57:35,858
ALBUQUERQUE:
Well, anyhow,
1245
00:57:35,860 --> 00:57:37,827
the Bolts' food sources
are running low,
1246
00:57:37,829 --> 00:57:39,930
so they're pushing east,
which is no bueno.
1247
00:57:39,932 --> 00:57:42,099
You know what else
is no bueno?
1248
00:57:42,101 --> 00:57:44,401
You murdered the Beast.
1249
00:57:44,403 --> 00:57:47,338
Yeah, well, let me
call AAA for you.
1250
00:57:47,340 --> 00:57:49,773
I'm sure they'll be right over.
1251
00:57:49,775 --> 00:57:52,142
So you have to play
your cards as...
1252
00:57:52,144 --> 00:57:55,245
Whoo, that onesie was starting
to cut off my circulation.
1253
00:57:55,247 --> 00:57:58,182
- To your vagina?
- Your vagina.
1254
00:57:58,184 --> 00:58:00,182
What'll you have, Florida?
1255
00:58:00,184 --> 00:58:02,919
He strikes me as
the, uh, lemon drop type.
1256
00:58:02,921 --> 00:58:05,923
You know, something with an
umbrella or something like that.
1257
00:58:05,925 --> 00:58:08,526
I heard "something with
an umbrella." Make it two.
1258
00:58:08,528 --> 00:58:09,559
Three please. Three.
1259
00:58:09,561 --> 00:58:11,595
So that's your sidekick.
1260
00:58:11,597 --> 00:58:13,164
ALBUQUERQUE:
That's my partner.
1261
00:58:13,166 --> 00:58:15,765
You might look
at Flagstaff and think:
1262
00:58:15,767 --> 00:58:18,401
"Oh, he's a little slight,
diminutive."
1263
00:58:18,403 --> 00:58:22,273
Effeminate even, but he's
a real beast in battle. Yeah.
1264
00:58:22,275 --> 00:58:25,408
Come on. You're being sweet.
You sweet, sweet man. Thank you.
1265
00:58:25,410 --> 00:58:27,109
- Well, I love you.
- Love you too.
1266
00:58:27,111 --> 00:58:29,747
Yeah, you know, Tubbs
to my Crockett over here.
1267
00:58:29,749 --> 00:58:32,716
He may look a little bookish,
but he's an animal too.
1268
00:58:32,718 --> 00:58:35,419
He eats zombies for breakfast,
shits them out by lunch.
1269
00:58:35,421 --> 00:58:36,919
Cheers.
1270
00:58:36,921 --> 00:58:39,122
He shits out
everything by lunch.
1271
00:58:39,124 --> 00:58:40,360
[METAL BANGING]
1272
00:58:41,727 --> 00:58:43,994
What the hell was that?
1273
00:58:43,996 --> 00:58:45,430
[♪♪♪]
1274
00:58:47,900 --> 00:58:49,499
They must have
followed you.
1275
00:58:49,501 --> 00:58:51,568
Oh, God, those are T-800s.
1276
00:58:51,570 --> 00:58:53,437
Or at the very least T-700s.
1277
00:58:53,439 --> 00:58:56,205
- There was no T-700.
- Yeah, T-800's the first model.
1278
00:58:56,207 --> 00:58:59,276
This is great,
having the two of you.
1279
00:58:59,278 --> 00:59:01,879
Okay.
Time to nut up or shut up.
1280
00:59:01,881 --> 00:59:04,749
- [COCKS GUN]
- That saying's very 2009.
1281
00:59:04,751 --> 00:59:06,519
[LAUGHS]
1282
00:59:08,287 --> 00:59:11,120
- Okay. We got this.
- Ho!
1283
00:59:11,122 --> 00:59:13,390
You don't send a boy
to do a man's job.
1284
00:59:13,392 --> 00:59:15,725
We brought them here.
We'll take care of it.
1285
00:59:15,727 --> 00:59:18,260
Yeah, you know what?
Have at 'em.
1286
00:59:18,262 --> 00:59:20,396
You have a safe word
in case things go bad?
1287
00:59:20,398 --> 00:59:21,966
Heh, that's good.
Come on, Flag,
1288
00:59:21,968 --> 00:59:24,068
let's show these fuckers
how it's done.
1289
00:59:24,070 --> 00:59:26,135
Sure. You got it, boss.
1290
00:59:26,137 --> 00:59:28,638
Hasta la vista, baby.
Terminator 2.
1291
00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:30,974
- Remember?
- ALBUQUERQUE: Ready, buddy?
1292
00:59:30,976 --> 00:59:33,142
He's so cool.
1293
00:59:33,144 --> 00:59:35,479
Whoo, heh, heh!
Suck these bullets!
1294
00:59:35,481 --> 00:59:36,948
Come on! Get you some!
1295
00:59:36,950 --> 00:59:39,950
Anybody else find those
two uniquely annoying?
1296
00:59:39,952 --> 00:59:42,388
- ALBUQUERQUE: Get it!
- Uniquely? No.
1297
00:59:44,356 --> 00:59:46,157
Well, I don't love
their chances.
1298
00:59:46,159 --> 00:59:48,959
They ignored rule 52,
don't be afraid to ask for help.
1299
00:59:48,961 --> 00:59:51,294
FLAGSTAFF:
Get fucked in the face, bitch!
1300
00:59:51,296 --> 00:59:52,963
- Flagstaff?
- Yeah, boss?
1301
00:59:52,965 --> 00:59:55,999
You made the all-star team
today. I mean, no kidding.
1302
00:59:56,001 --> 00:59:57,334
Unbelievable job.
1303
00:59:57,336 --> 00:59:59,202
And is it me,
or are those Bolts
1304
00:59:59,204 --> 01:00:01,305
they're just getting meaner
by the day?
1305
01:00:01,307 --> 01:00:04,307
- They're full-blown dickheads.
- I got an action shot of you
1306
01:00:04,309 --> 01:00:06,544
that's going right
into the scrapbook.
1307
01:00:06,546 --> 01:00:09,646
This is gonna be a good one.
You just keep raising the bar,
1308
01:00:09,648 --> 01:00:13,182
and that's why we will continue
to ride these highways together.
1309
01:00:13,184 --> 01:00:15,619
- I'm so proud of you.
- I learned from the best.
1310
01:00:15,621 --> 01:00:17,655
- Oh, come on now.
- Nice work, Querq.
1311
01:00:17,657 --> 01:00:19,023
ALBUQUERQUE:
Thank you. Thank you.
1312
01:00:19,025 --> 01:00:21,557
This is gonna be
a hell of a shot. Ha, ha!
1313
01:00:21,559 --> 01:00:24,026
It's so cool he let you
wear the hat.
1314
01:00:24,028 --> 01:00:25,562
- NEVADA: Querq?
- Yeah?
1315
01:00:25,564 --> 01:00:28,432
I think you got
a little something here.
1316
01:00:28,434 --> 01:00:30,100
[♪♪♪]
1317
01:00:30,102 --> 01:00:31,600
Oh, what, that?
1318
01:00:31,602 --> 01:00:33,169
[ALBUQUERQUE CLEARS THROAT]
1319
01:00:33,171 --> 01:00:36,506
Oh, yeah, that's just...
That's just a tattoo.
1320
01:00:36,508 --> 01:00:38,508
[ALBUQUERQUE CHUCKLES]
1321
01:00:38,510 --> 01:00:41,445
Sorry, you got a tattoo
of a zombie bite?
1322
01:00:41,447 --> 01:00:45,349
No, it's just a tattoo
I got one night in Bernalillo.
1323
01:00:45,351 --> 01:00:46,251
Huh.
1324
01:00:47,418 --> 01:00:48,751
All right, everybody.
1325
01:00:48,753 --> 01:00:52,423
Just take it easy.
Everything's fine.
1326
01:00:52,425 --> 01:00:55,225
Nevada, why don't you whip up
some of your signature...
1327
01:00:55,227 --> 01:00:57,626
[GROANS]
1328
01:00:57,628 --> 01:00:59,229
[CHUCKLES]
1329
01:00:59,231 --> 01:01:01,865
All right.
That was a little weird, huh?
1330
01:01:01,867 --> 01:01:04,934
- Yeah.
- All right. Just calm down.
1331
01:01:04,936 --> 01:01:06,870
We'll just
have a drink, you know.
1332
01:01:06,872 --> 01:01:08,171
[GULPS HARD]
1333
01:01:08,173 --> 01:01:11,209
So we can just kind
of celeb... Celeb...
1334
01:01:12,378 --> 01:01:14,276
[ALL GASPING]
1335
01:01:14,278 --> 01:01:16,512
Excuse me. It's okay.
1336
01:01:16,514 --> 01:01:19,048
It's just nerves
from the fight. Just...
1337
01:01:19,050 --> 01:01:20,182
[GROWLS]
1338
01:01:20,184 --> 01:01:21,584
Uh, you guys, I think
1339
01:01:21,586 --> 01:01:23,787
Albuquerque might be infected.
1340
01:01:23,789 --> 01:01:25,588
Me? I'm infected?
1341
01:01:25,590 --> 01:01:26,624
[ALBUQUERQUE COUGHS]
1342
01:01:26,626 --> 01:01:27,957
You got bit twice.
1343
01:01:27,959 --> 01:01:29,992
- Ah, Flagstaff!
- No, no. That's a lie.
1344
01:01:29,994 --> 01:01:31,995
Trust me. Okay? Trust me.
1345
01:01:31,997 --> 01:01:33,631
I don't get bit.
I never get bit.
1346
01:01:33,633 --> 01:01:35,765
I don't get bit either.
We're slippery.
1347
01:01:35,767 --> 01:01:37,133
- See?
- I know. Are you okay?
1348
01:01:37,135 --> 01:01:39,269
- I'm fine. I'm totally fine.
- You are?
1349
01:01:39,271 --> 01:01:41,341
- I'm fine.
- Okay, he's fine. He's fine.
1350
01:01:42,441 --> 01:01:44,140
No, he's not fine. No.
1351
01:01:44,142 --> 01:01:48,144
No. You're starting to look
like a T-800. Terminator 2.
1352
01:01:48,146 --> 01:01:49,114
- [GROWLING]
- [GASPS]
1353
01:01:50,349 --> 01:01:51,784
No. No, no, no!
1354
01:01:52,818 --> 01:01:54,651
No!
1355
01:01:54,653 --> 01:01:55,751
Aah!
1356
01:01:55,753 --> 01:01:58,421
Move! Move!
Get out of the way.
1357
01:01:58,423 --> 01:02:00,557
Aah! Aah!
1358
01:02:00,559 --> 01:02:01,494
Ow!
1359
01:02:04,329 --> 01:02:05,729
No! No!
1360
01:02:05,731 --> 01:02:07,231
[GUNFIRE]
1361
01:02:07,233 --> 01:02:08,597
Flagstaff, you're breaking
1362
01:02:08,599 --> 01:02:10,369
like 10 commandments right now!
1363
01:02:16,340 --> 01:02:19,211
This is for what you did
to the Beast! Unh!
1364
01:02:20,813 --> 01:02:21,845
Sorry!
1365
01:02:21,847 --> 01:02:23,579
[GRUNTING]
1366
01:02:23,581 --> 01:02:24,814
- How you doing?
- Bad!
1367
01:02:24,816 --> 01:02:26,416
- How are you?
- Bad!
1368
01:02:26,418 --> 01:02:28,084
[♪♪♪]
1369
01:02:28,086 --> 01:02:29,956
Sorry, shoes. Sorry, Elvis.
1370
01:02:35,494 --> 01:02:36,961
[GROANS]
1371
01:02:36,963 --> 01:02:38,363
Oh, shit. Oh!
1372
01:02:39,997 --> 01:02:42,966
- How you doing now?
- Still bad! You wanna switch?
1373
01:02:42,968 --> 01:02:45,736
Switch?
How would that benefit me?
1374
01:02:45,738 --> 01:02:46,773
[GROANS]
1375
01:02:50,910 --> 01:02:52,211
[GROANS]
1376
01:02:53,811 --> 01:02:54,880
Shit!
1377
01:02:58,316 --> 01:02:59,885
[YELPING]
1378
01:03:02,021 --> 01:03:05,858
- Help! Shoot him! Shoot him!
- I don't wanna hit you!
1379
01:03:10,695 --> 01:03:11,861
Shit.
1380
01:03:11,863 --> 01:03:14,434
Gun, gun, gun! Oh, shit!
1381
01:03:17,470 --> 01:03:19,403
TALLAHASSEE:
Stop shooting! I got this!
1382
01:03:19,405 --> 01:03:20,773
Great, because I'm reloading!
1383
01:03:23,041 --> 01:03:24,677
[GROANING]
1384
01:03:27,847 --> 01:03:29,845
[YELLS]
1385
01:03:29,847 --> 01:03:33,749
Don't swing! Don't swing!
Don't swing! Swing!
1386
01:03:33,751 --> 01:03:35,718
Shit!
1387
01:03:35,720 --> 01:03:38,454
No, no, no, not me!
Not me! Oh, fuck!
1388
01:03:38,456 --> 01:03:41,591
NEVADA:
Hasta la vista, baby.
1389
01:03:41,593 --> 01:03:43,896
[IMITATES ELVIS]
Thank you. Thank you very much.
1390
01:03:45,231 --> 01:03:47,963
- Those guys are dicks.
- [BOTH PANTING]
1391
01:03:47,965 --> 01:03:49,600
TALLAHASSEE [IN NORMAL VOICE]:
Great job.
1392
01:03:49,602 --> 01:03:50,901
Thank you.
1393
01:03:50,903 --> 01:03:53,803
- Ah. Can I wear the hat?
- Oh, negatory.
1394
01:03:53,805 --> 01:03:57,474
- Cool.
- Zombie Kill of the Year?
1395
01:03:57,476 --> 01:04:00,611
COLUMBUS: Mm, sorry.
Not with the performance just turned in
1396
01:04:00,613 --> 01:04:02,312
by Matteo Bianchi
of Pisa, Italy.
1397
01:04:02,314 --> 01:04:04,016
[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
1398
01:04:06,285 --> 01:04:07,286
[ROARING]
1399
01:04:14,425 --> 01:04:15,858
[RUMBLING]
1400
01:04:15,860 --> 01:04:17,260
[♪♪♪]
1401
01:04:17,262 --> 01:04:19,164
COLUMBUS:
Yeah, yeah. That Pisa.
1402
01:04:33,278 --> 01:04:34,746
COLUMBUS:
Bravisimmo, Mateo.
1403
01:04:37,650 --> 01:04:40,617
Ahh, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!
1404
01:04:40,619 --> 01:04:43,186
COLUMBUS:
Jesus, Big Fat Death is right.
1405
01:04:43,188 --> 01:04:45,923
That thing is, like,
a huge rollover risk.
1406
01:04:45,925 --> 01:04:47,658
It is.
1407
01:04:47,660 --> 01:04:51,093
Hey, dude, I think you should
ask her to come with us.
1408
01:04:51,095 --> 01:04:52,329
- No, no, no.
- Come on, yes.
1409
01:04:52,331 --> 01:04:54,463
I think they make
a nice match.
1410
01:04:54,465 --> 01:04:56,432
Look, what have I been
telling you guys?
1411
01:04:56,434 --> 01:04:58,602
I'm trying to shed baggage,
not pick it up.
1412
01:04:58,604 --> 01:05:01,704
- Yeah.
- Besides, she wouldn't do that.
1413
01:05:01,706 --> 01:05:03,141
She's not the type.
1414
01:05:06,211 --> 01:05:07,780
Stay safe,
Sunshine State.
1415
01:05:09,747 --> 01:05:11,284
Excuse me.
1416
01:05:15,588 --> 01:05:17,320
Stay dangerous, Nevada.
1417
01:05:17,322 --> 01:05:18,390
[CHUCKLES]
1418
01:05:25,430 --> 01:05:29,533
Okay. Hey, no offense, but
my sister is still out there.
1419
01:05:29,535 --> 01:05:31,871
Wanna hit the old road.
1420
01:05:33,204 --> 01:05:35,373
If by some miracle
you don't die...
1421
01:05:37,108 --> 01:05:39,711
there's always room
in my driveway.
1422
01:05:42,380 --> 01:05:43,849
I best stay alive.
1423
01:05:45,316 --> 01:05:46,582
[NEVADA CHUCKLES]
1424
01:05:46,584 --> 01:05:48,151
Okay, you're back. Good.
1425
01:05:48,153 --> 01:05:50,519
Do you know how to drive
one of these things?
1426
01:05:50,521 --> 01:05:53,823
I'm gonna just pop that puppy
off of there
1427
01:05:53,825 --> 01:05:56,325
and then you guys can jump in.
1428
01:05:56,327 --> 01:05:57,762
Nice.
1429
01:05:59,865 --> 01:06:02,733
She's a big old stallion,
but I can tame her.
1430
01:06:02,735 --> 01:06:03,769
[GROANS]
1431
01:06:05,336 --> 01:06:06,836
[DOOR CLOSES]
1432
01:06:06,838 --> 01:06:08,204
[ENGINE RUMBLES]
1433
01:06:08,206 --> 01:06:09,606
[GEAR SHIFT GRINDING]
1434
01:06:09,608 --> 01:06:11,077
TALLAHASSEE:
Whoo!
1435
01:06:13,845 --> 01:06:15,044
[TIRES SQUEALING]
1436
01:06:15,046 --> 01:06:16,146
Oh, shit.
1437
01:06:16,148 --> 01:06:17,383
[♪♪♪]
1438
01:06:20,385 --> 01:06:23,055
- I think he's got the hang of it.
- TALLAHASSEE: Shit!
1439
01:06:24,189 --> 01:06:26,023
- No. No, no.
- No, no, no.
1440
01:06:26,025 --> 01:06:28,191
TALLAHASSEE:
Goddamn motherfucker!
1441
01:06:28,193 --> 01:06:29,294
Got it.
1442
01:06:33,831 --> 01:06:36,332
[ENGINE SPUTTERS, DIES]
1443
01:06:36,334 --> 01:06:39,903
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
1444
01:06:39,905 --> 01:06:41,607
Maybe you should
leave a note.
1445
01:06:43,209 --> 01:06:44,541
That's your department.
1446
01:06:44,543 --> 01:06:45,510
[CHUCKLES]
1447
01:06:47,311 --> 01:06:49,412
[♪♪♪]
1448
01:06:49,414 --> 01:06:52,814
I... I just can't do it.
1449
01:06:52,816 --> 01:06:54,085
Yeah. I'll drive.
1450
01:07:00,758 --> 01:07:02,360
What was that?
1451
01:07:03,628 --> 01:07:04,894
Satisfying.
1452
01:07:04,896 --> 01:07:06,798
[♪♪♪]
1453
01:07:10,568 --> 01:07:12,369
Teamwork. Always put
the team first.
1454
01:07:12,371 --> 01:07:14,470
I can't believe
I didn't have that. Stupid.
1455
01:07:14,472 --> 01:07:16,907
You know, if Flagstaff
was so great,
1456
01:07:16,909 --> 01:07:20,276
then where was
the undeniably gorgeous
1457
01:07:20,278 --> 01:07:23,213
but emotionally inaccessible
Kansas City?
1458
01:07:23,215 --> 01:07:24,780
I don't know. Maybe she split
1459
01:07:24,782 --> 01:07:27,318
because she thought
they had a random relationship.
1460
01:07:27,320 --> 01:07:30,419
Or maybe she was
just about to come back
1461
01:07:30,421 --> 01:07:33,626
under the thinly veiled cover
of needing guns and ammo.
1462
01:07:34,825 --> 01:07:37,426
Wait,
what are you getting at?
1463
01:07:37,428 --> 01:07:39,995
I think you're smart enough
to figure it out...
1464
01:07:39,997 --> 01:07:41,999
- [MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
- COLUMBUS: Oh, my God.
1465
01:07:42,001 --> 01:07:44,033
You gotta be kidding me.
1466
01:07:44,035 --> 01:07:45,470
You gotta be kidding me.
1467
01:07:46,805 --> 01:07:48,872
You gotta be kidding me!
1468
01:07:48,874 --> 01:07:51,207
You gotta be fucking
kidding me.
1469
01:07:51,209 --> 01:07:52,809
Why the hell
is she still alive?
1470
01:07:52,811 --> 01:07:56,512
Oh, my God, I literally
missed you guys. Yay!
1471
01:07:56,514 --> 01:07:57,515
Oh, my God.
1472
01:07:59,217 --> 01:08:01,117
Whoa!
1473
01:08:01,119 --> 01:08:02,619
Just... No, just look ahead.
1474
01:08:02,621 --> 01:08:05,354
Hi, old guy!
1475
01:08:05,356 --> 01:08:06,789
Let's hang out.
1476
01:08:06,791 --> 01:08:08,559
- Ha-ha-ha!
- It is so weird to see you.
1477
01:08:08,561 --> 01:08:10,693
The last time I saw you,
you were like a...
1478
01:08:10,695 --> 01:08:12,162
- You were a zombie.
- I wish.
1479
01:08:12,164 --> 01:08:14,196
Stupid nut allergy.
1480
01:08:14,198 --> 01:08:15,832
- Nut allergy? Oh.
- Yeah.
1481
01:08:15,834 --> 01:08:18,435
Yeah, I think it was
the trail mix Wichita gave me.
1482
01:08:18,437 --> 01:08:20,537
Who knew there were nuts
in trail mix.
1483
01:08:20,539 --> 01:08:22,605
MADISON:
Not me. I thought it was vegan.
1484
01:08:22,607 --> 01:08:24,140
I kept trying to tell you
1485
01:08:24,142 --> 01:08:26,610
it was only an allergic
reaction, but you thought
1486
01:08:26,612 --> 01:08:29,011
- I was trying to bite you.
- Yeah, well...
1487
01:08:29,013 --> 01:08:32,715
- Not that you minded last time.
- Mm.
1488
01:08:32,717 --> 01:08:34,618
Thank you for shooting
over my head.
1489
01:08:34,620 --> 01:08:36,787
I was really just trying
to scare you off.
1490
01:08:36,789 --> 01:08:38,788
You're not gonna get rid
of me that easy.
1491
01:08:38,790 --> 01:08:40,390
- Oh, no!
- Ha-ha-ha.
1492
01:08:40,392 --> 01:08:44,060
There I was, hiding in
the woods, when I thought:
1493
01:08:44,062 --> 01:08:48,265
"I used to live in a freezer,
so why not a freezer on wheels?"
1494
01:08:48,267 --> 01:08:50,367
Can't argue
with that logic.
1495
01:08:50,369 --> 01:08:52,836
I really miss this.
1496
01:08:52,838 --> 01:08:54,870
Was that sarcasm?
1497
01:08:54,872 --> 01:08:56,507
[WHISPERS]
Was it?
1498
01:08:56,509 --> 01:08:57,476
Mm-hm.
1499
01:09:02,281 --> 01:09:04,948
Why wouldn't we
just move to an island?
1500
01:09:04,950 --> 01:09:06,548
That's a really
good idea.
1501
01:09:06,550 --> 01:09:08,084
Then there
wouldn't be zombies.
1502
01:09:08,086 --> 01:09:09,586
- Right.
- Of course.
1503
01:09:09,588 --> 01:09:11,823
We should go
to Temptation Island.
1504
01:09:13,724 --> 01:09:15,859
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey.
1505
01:09:15,861 --> 01:09:17,360
- What?
- Hey, hey.
1506
01:09:17,362 --> 01:09:19,494
- Hey, hey. Hey, hey.
- Hey, hey.
1507
01:09:19,496 --> 01:09:21,330
Just... Just eyes
on the road.
1508
01:09:21,332 --> 01:09:23,999
Do you want me to change
the CD or anything?
1509
01:09:24,001 --> 01:09:25,668
Is this a CD playing?
1510
01:09:25,670 --> 01:09:27,203
- Yeah. It's Port...
- What is this?
1511
01:09:27,205 --> 01:09:29,239
It's Portishead.
1512
01:09:29,241 --> 01:09:31,608
- This is Portishead?
- Yeah. You know what's funny?
1513
01:09:31,610 --> 01:09:33,776
I used to think
it was called "Portashed"
1514
01:09:33,778 --> 01:09:36,578
until I went to one of
the concerts, and she explained.
1515
01:09:36,580 --> 01:09:38,248
Yeah, I would think
"Portasheed."
1516
01:09:38,250 --> 01:09:41,251
- Right. Yeah, that's funny.
- Yeah.
1517
01:09:41,253 --> 01:09:42,918
COLUMBUS:
It was obvious to me
1518
01:09:42,920 --> 01:09:45,120
that Wichita and I
were meant to be together,
1519
01:09:45,122 --> 01:09:46,588
which is why Madison's return
1520
01:09:46,590 --> 01:09:48,225
could not have been
worse timing.
1521
01:09:48,227 --> 01:09:50,293
Of course, I was glad
she wasn't a zombie.
1522
01:09:50,295 --> 01:09:53,132
But couldn't she have just
gone back to her mall fridge?
1523
01:09:55,800 --> 01:09:58,269
Hey. Hey, look,
look, look. Look.
1524
01:09:59,504 --> 01:10:00,936
[GASPS]
1525
01:10:00,938 --> 01:10:02,004
[MUTTERS]
1526
01:10:02,006 --> 01:10:03,105
Look.
1527
01:10:03,107 --> 01:10:04,108
[♪♪♪]
1528
01:10:06,745 --> 01:10:09,412
We made it to Baby-lon.
1529
01:10:09,414 --> 01:10:12,983
COLUMBUS: If you hear more than
the usual excitement in my voice,
1530
01:10:12,985 --> 01:10:14,751
it's for two reasons.
1531
01:10:14,753 --> 01:10:17,486
One, we may have caught up
to Little Rock,
1532
01:10:17,488 --> 01:10:18,689
for real this time.
1533
01:10:18,691 --> 01:10:20,222
And two, we may have
1534
01:10:20,224 --> 01:10:22,458
finally found our forever home,
1535
01:10:22,460 --> 01:10:24,761
which is what I've been
looking for all along.
1536
01:10:24,763 --> 01:10:28,265
- Whoa, Babylon.
- I love that song.
1537
01:10:28,267 --> 01:10:31,066
- Hm?
- This place is soy cute.
1538
01:10:31,068 --> 01:10:32,638
[MADISON GIGGLES]
1539
01:10:36,241 --> 01:10:39,307
- Whoa, Jesus!
- What the fuck?
1540
01:10:39,309 --> 01:10:42,511
- Enjoy the little things.
- My bags were in there!
1541
01:10:42,513 --> 01:10:45,315
- No, they weren't.
- No guns allowed!
1542
01:10:45,317 --> 01:10:47,350
[LAUGHS]
1543
01:10:47,352 --> 01:10:49,952
I like this place already.
You got a sense of humor.
1544
01:10:49,954 --> 01:10:51,687
No guns allowed.
1545
01:10:51,689 --> 01:10:56,293
I'm not giving up my guns under
any circumstances, period-o.
1546
01:10:56,295 --> 01:10:59,195
Well, then, there's no way
you're getting up to Babylon.
1547
01:10:59,197 --> 01:11:01,232
You know, you could
always wait in the car.
1548
01:11:04,903 --> 01:11:06,738
Do you wanna see
Little Rock or not?
1549
01:11:11,677 --> 01:11:13,043
[SIGHS]
1550
01:11:13,045 --> 01:11:16,348
- [INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
- [DRUMS PLAYING]
1551
01:11:20,684 --> 01:11:22,485
TALLAHASSEE:
There she is!
1552
01:11:22,487 --> 01:11:24,619
BERKELEY:
I'm on a 40-day bowel blast.
1553
01:11:24,621 --> 01:11:25,890
Little Rock.
1554
01:11:27,459 --> 01:11:30,293
- Hey.
- Hi.
1555
01:11:30,295 --> 01:11:31,694
What are you guys
doing here?
1556
01:11:31,696 --> 01:11:33,329
TALLAHASSEE:
I am so glad you're safe.
1557
01:11:33,331 --> 01:11:34,998
- Wow, okay.
- Oh, my God.
1558
01:11:35,000 --> 01:11:36,400
- Come here.
- Hello.
1559
01:11:36,402 --> 01:11:38,235
Seriously, what are
you doing here?
1560
01:11:38,237 --> 01:11:40,337
Hey, we don't leave
each other.
1561
01:11:40,339 --> 01:11:41,971
I know, I know.
I'm really sorry.
1562
01:11:41,973 --> 01:11:44,173
Make me a pact.
No more notes. Ever.
1563
01:11:44,175 --> 01:11:46,042
- No more notes. Ever.
- Ever. Great.
1564
01:11:46,044 --> 01:11:47,912
Just so you know,
there's no group sex.
1565
01:11:49,247 --> 01:11:51,381
- Okay, fine, group sex.
- Oh, whoa.
1566
01:11:51,383 --> 01:11:53,716
Hey, Wichita. That means
you're Columbus,
1567
01:11:53,718 --> 01:11:55,886
and that makes you Tallahassee.
1568
01:11:55,888 --> 01:11:57,886
- Berkeley?
- You're from Berkeley?
1569
01:11:57,888 --> 01:11:59,721
- You're Berkeley?
- No, come on.
1570
01:11:59,723 --> 01:12:01,958
What are the chances
we're both from Berkeley?
1571
01:12:01,960 --> 01:12:03,894
- Berkeley!
- Calm down, calm down. Okay?
1572
01:12:03,896 --> 01:12:06,262
Thank you for coming
to check up on me, I guess.
1573
01:12:06,264 --> 01:12:09,032
But you have to understand
these people are peaceful,
1574
01:12:09,034 --> 01:12:10,766
and they're friendly and nice.
1575
01:12:10,768 --> 01:12:13,468
And honestly, I don't think
you're gonna fit in here.
1576
01:12:13,470 --> 01:12:16,905
- They melted our fucking weapons!
- This is exactly what I meant.
1577
01:12:16,907 --> 01:12:19,542
Guys, I think
we should stay.
1578
01:12:19,544 --> 01:12:22,279
- You don't get a vote.
- I do get a vote.
1579
01:12:22,281 --> 01:12:24,413
Haven't you ever heard
of women suffering?
1580
01:12:24,415 --> 01:12:25,618
Women's suffrage?
1581
01:12:26,718 --> 01:12:28,618
- No, honey.
- Oh, boy.
1582
01:12:28,620 --> 01:12:30,354
- Who the hell is this?
- I'm Madison.
1583
01:12:30,356 --> 01:12:31,921
- Don't say it.
- You'll love this.
1584
01:12:31,923 --> 01:12:34,623
- Don't say it.
- That's Columbus' girlfriend.
1585
01:12:34,625 --> 01:12:35,958
It's official.
1586
01:12:35,960 --> 01:12:37,127
Wow, you just didn't
1587
01:12:37,129 --> 01:12:38,694
waste any time, did you?
1588
01:12:38,696 --> 01:12:41,396
- Well, thank you for your vote.
- And you're welcome.
1589
01:12:41,398 --> 01:12:44,568
Okay. I'm late for my
drum circle, so I gotta go.
1590
01:12:44,570 --> 01:12:45,801
WOMAN:
Hey, Little Rock!
1591
01:12:45,803 --> 01:12:47,604
Sorry about that.
1592
01:12:47,606 --> 01:12:49,742
[PLAYING OFF-BEAT FOLKSY TUNE]
1593
01:12:57,616 --> 01:12:59,315
COLUMBUS:
Seeing Little Rock safe
1594
01:12:59,317 --> 01:13:01,316
and surrounded by friends
her own age,
1595
01:13:01,318 --> 01:13:04,587
Tallahassee realized
his nest was now empty.
1596
01:13:04,589 --> 01:13:06,922
And he began to hear
the call of the buffalo.
1597
01:13:06,924 --> 01:13:08,393
[♪♪♪]
1598
01:13:11,028 --> 01:13:13,663
[PEOPLE EXCLAIMING, LAUGHING]
1599
01:13:13,665 --> 01:13:15,864
MAN:
All right, I'm ready!
1600
01:13:15,866 --> 01:13:18,301
Come on, don't be
so Gloria Glum.
1601
01:13:18,303 --> 01:13:19,935
I told you guys
I was leaving.
1602
01:13:19,937 --> 01:13:21,839
So, what, you're
just gonna split?
1603
01:13:24,342 --> 01:13:28,177
It's time. Gotta set out
on my own adventures.
1604
01:13:28,179 --> 01:13:30,111
Little Rock's
safe,
1605
01:13:30,113 --> 01:13:33,052
and, uh,
a lone wolf's gotta hunt.
1606
01:13:34,352 --> 01:13:35,819
So where are you gonna go?
1607
01:13:35,821 --> 01:13:38,691
The direction's
the destination. West.
1608
01:13:40,992 --> 01:13:43,325
West is that way.
1609
01:13:43,327 --> 01:13:47,864
Yeah. Anyway, like the title of
a great Phil Collins song:
1610
01:13:47,866 --> 01:13:51,501
"If You Love Somebody,
Set Them Free."
1611
01:13:51,503 --> 01:13:53,936
- Pretty sure that wasn't him.
- Pretty sure it was.
1612
01:13:53,938 --> 01:13:56,240
- No, it was someone else.
- Pretty sure it was him.
1613
01:13:58,210 --> 01:13:59,976
Yeah. Peace.
1614
01:13:59,978 --> 01:14:04,579
Uh, I'm not much
for goodbyes, so...
1615
01:14:04,581 --> 01:14:06,248
Just don't say
the pig thing.
1616
01:14:06,250 --> 01:14:08,351
Keep your tits dry.
1617
01:14:08,353 --> 01:14:10,753
- Oh, okay.
- Didn't see that coming, right?
1618
01:14:10,755 --> 01:14:12,687
I would've rather
the pig thing.
1619
01:14:12,689 --> 01:14:13,791
[CHUCKLING]
1620
01:14:17,429 --> 01:14:18,430
Hey.
1621
01:14:19,863 --> 01:14:22,300
Hey, don't do nothing
I wouldn't not do.
1622
01:14:23,902 --> 01:14:26,101
- You get what I'm saying.
- Not really, no.
1623
01:14:26,103 --> 01:14:27,703
No? Okay.
1624
01:14:27,705 --> 01:14:28,837
[SOBBING]
1625
01:14:28,839 --> 01:14:31,709
Anyway, gonna miss you guys.
1626
01:14:33,711 --> 01:14:35,043
[SUCKS TEETH]
1627
01:14:35,045 --> 01:14:36,080
[SNIFFLES]
1628
01:14:38,182 --> 01:14:40,083
[MADISON WAILS]
1629
01:14:40,085 --> 01:14:42,217
I will never forget you,
what's-his-name.
1630
01:14:42,219 --> 01:14:44,419
- See you, pals.
- It's Tallahassee. I told you.
1631
01:14:44,421 --> 01:14:46,189
Sally Tally!
1632
01:14:46,191 --> 01:14:48,059
[SOBBING]
1633
01:14:50,929 --> 01:14:53,098
[TALLAHASSEE WHISTLING
"HOME ON THE RANGE"]
1634
01:14:56,201 --> 01:15:00,136
TALLAHASSEE: ♪ Give me a
home Where the buffalo roam ♪
1635
01:15:00,138 --> 01:15:04,740
♪ And the deer
And the antelope play ♪
1636
01:15:04,742 --> 01:15:09,211
♪ Where seldom is heard
A discouraging word ♪
1637
01:15:09,213 --> 01:15:10,879
♪ And the skies are not... ♪
1638
01:15:10,881 --> 01:15:12,817
- [LOUD THUD]
- [TIRES SQUEAL]
1639
01:15:14,719 --> 01:15:16,285
[♪♪♪]
1640
01:15:16,287 --> 01:15:17,787
[GROWLING]
1641
01:15:17,789 --> 01:15:19,590
T-800s.
1642
01:15:22,492 --> 01:15:23,594
That decides it.
1643
01:15:28,165 --> 01:15:29,834
[TIRES SQUEALING]
1644
01:15:36,907 --> 01:15:38,239
[STRUMMING FOLK TUNE]
1645
01:15:38,241 --> 01:15:39,510
♪ Kumbaya ♪
1646
01:15:40,946 --> 01:15:42,912
♪ Kumbaya, Buddha ♪
1647
01:15:42,914 --> 01:15:45,784
Everybody.
♪ Kumbaya ♪
1648
01:15:47,719 --> 01:15:50,118
MAN:
Coming to you. Oh!
1649
01:15:50,120 --> 01:15:52,221
There it is. Let's start again.
1650
01:15:52,223 --> 01:15:54,090
COLUMBUS: Oh, it's all right.
I got it.
1651
01:15:54,092 --> 01:15:56,293
Excuse me. Yes. I got it.
1652
01:15:56,295 --> 01:15:58,461
- You're supposed to kick it back.
- Really?
1653
01:15:58,463 --> 01:16:01,433
- You never seen hacky sack?
- I thought it's like hopscotch.
1654
01:16:03,101 --> 01:16:05,767
- Salty Taffy's back!
- Holy shit!
1655
01:16:05,769 --> 01:16:09,270
Hey, T-800s, a whole swarm
of them, heading right this way.
1656
01:16:09,272 --> 01:16:13,542
Those goddamn fireworks
might as well be a dinner bell!
1657
01:16:13,544 --> 01:16:16,145
Stop the fireworks!
Stop the music!
1658
01:16:16,147 --> 01:16:18,114
Everybody shut the fuck up!
1659
01:16:18,116 --> 01:16:19,215
Shut up.
1660
01:16:19,217 --> 01:16:20,882
Question:
1661
01:16:20,884 --> 01:16:23,519
Did you melt all the weapons?
1662
01:16:23,521 --> 01:16:25,988
Yeah, that's how we made
these peace thingies.
1663
01:16:25,990 --> 01:16:27,923
- Oh, Jesus.
- My guns!
1664
01:16:27,925 --> 01:16:30,025
Hey. Hello.
I got something going.
1665
01:16:30,027 --> 01:16:31,860
I think I might have a plan.
1666
01:16:31,862 --> 01:16:34,029
- Oh.
- What?
1667
01:16:34,031 --> 01:16:36,966
Heh, I got nothing.
I'm just a songwriter.
1668
01:16:36,968 --> 01:16:38,834
No. No, you're
a song transcriber.
1669
01:16:38,836 --> 01:16:40,669
- Listen, Berkeley?
- Yeah?
1670
01:16:40,671 --> 01:16:42,504
I don't think this
is gonna work out.
1671
01:16:42,506 --> 01:16:44,006
Even 12-year-olds know
1672
01:16:44,008 --> 01:16:46,342
who Bob Dylan is,
you fucking poser.
1673
01:16:46,344 --> 01:16:49,479
Oh, my God. I'm not gonna lie,
I have truly enjoyed
1674
01:16:49,481 --> 01:16:52,148
this moment, but there
are zombies approaching.
1675
01:16:52,150 --> 01:16:56,284
Okay. Uh, Civil War general,
you must know how to fight?
1676
01:16:56,286 --> 01:16:57,552
Sure.
1677
01:16:57,554 --> 01:17:01,157
Poverty, sexism,
social injustice.
1678
01:17:01,159 --> 01:17:03,626
- We could try running.
- I'm done running.
1679
01:17:03,628 --> 01:17:06,762
I mean, what good is a home
if you can't stay in it?
1680
01:17:06,764 --> 01:17:09,330
- Columbus.
- Yes, Thor?
1681
01:17:09,332 --> 01:17:11,066
You're gonna make me
cry right now.
1682
01:17:11,068 --> 01:17:12,568
- No, please don't.
- Oh, my God.
1683
01:17:12,570 --> 01:17:14,436
Okay. I moved through it.
1684
01:17:14,438 --> 01:17:17,073
From where I stand, there's
only one thing we can do.
1685
01:17:17,075 --> 01:17:18,777
Group sex.
Right?
1686
01:17:20,210 --> 01:17:21,979
No. Um...
1687
01:17:23,281 --> 01:17:25,446
We'll fight them.
1688
01:17:25,448 --> 01:17:28,751
You'll be the first to die,
but I like your enthusiasm.
1689
01:17:28,753 --> 01:17:31,322
- You might die.
- Thank you for your sacrifice.
1690
01:17:32,857 --> 01:17:34,690
[♪♪♪]
1691
01:17:34,692 --> 01:17:36,926
TALLAHASSEE: All right,
everybody, listen up.
1692
01:17:36,928 --> 01:17:40,863
They outnumber us 100 times,
but they ain't got what we do.
1693
01:17:40,865 --> 01:17:42,565
- Guns?
- We don't have guns.
1694
01:17:42,567 --> 01:17:44,132
- What?
- What we do have
1695
01:17:44,134 --> 01:17:47,569
is heart, brains
and biodiesel.
1696
01:17:47,571 --> 01:17:49,305
We're gonna light
these zombies up
1697
01:17:49,307 --> 01:17:51,373
like it's the Fourth of July.
1698
01:17:51,375 --> 01:17:53,141
Then we hit the stragglers.
1699
01:17:53,143 --> 01:17:55,611
What we do is
we form a gauntlet.
1700
01:17:55,613 --> 01:17:57,111
[YELLS]
1701
01:17:57,113 --> 01:17:59,414
One, two, three, yah!
1702
01:17:59,416 --> 01:18:01,918
- Then we mop them up.
- Sick.
1703
01:18:01,920 --> 01:18:04,819
- This is gonna work, right?
- It has to.
1704
01:18:04,821 --> 01:18:06,257
[♪♪♪]
1705
01:18:07,424 --> 01:18:10,128
[MOANING, GROWLING]
1706
01:18:15,032 --> 01:18:16,267
- Rolling. Whoa!
- Whoa, whoa!
1707
01:18:22,573 --> 01:18:23,939
- Keep screwing.
- Yeah, I am.
1708
01:18:23,941 --> 01:18:25,577
- Keep screwing.
- I am.
1709
01:18:40,258 --> 01:18:41,623
No turning back now.
1710
01:18:41,625 --> 01:18:44,394
LITTLE ROCK:
Okay, there we go.
1711
01:18:44,396 --> 01:18:45,496
Nice.
1712
01:18:48,633 --> 01:18:50,733
Yeah. Oh, that's gonna work.
1713
01:18:50,735 --> 01:18:53,101
[WHISTLES, POPS]
1714
01:18:53,103 --> 01:18:54,436
- Oh!
- Oh, that's pretty.
1715
01:18:54,438 --> 01:18:56,105
That means the zombies
are coming!
1716
01:18:56,107 --> 01:18:57,806
MADISON:
The zombies are coming!
1717
01:18:57,808 --> 01:19:00,679
- Time to nut up or shut up.
- You need a new line.
1718
01:19:02,245 --> 01:19:04,012
Let's kick some dicks.
1719
01:19:04,014 --> 01:19:06,949
Just because it rhymes doesn't
make it a great catchphrase.
1720
01:19:06,951 --> 01:19:08,583
- What's her problem?
- I don't know.
1721
01:19:08,585 --> 01:19:10,388
I like it when it rhymes.
1722
01:19:11,856 --> 01:19:14,155
- Here we go.
- COLUMBUS: Okay.
1723
01:19:14,157 --> 01:19:15,727
[♪♪♪]
1724
01:19:16,995 --> 01:19:18,764
[HIGH-PITCHED WHISTLING]
1725
01:19:24,635 --> 01:19:25,802
[ALL GROWLING]
1726
01:19:25,804 --> 01:19:27,072
[ROARS]
1727
01:19:30,907 --> 01:19:32,675
- Zombies, they're coming!
- Oh, dear.
1728
01:19:32,677 --> 01:19:35,077
Look out, guys!
Here they come. They're coming!
1729
01:19:35,079 --> 01:19:36,247
Battle stations!
1730
01:19:39,884 --> 01:19:40,786
Light them up!
1731
01:19:57,335 --> 01:19:59,871
TALLAHASSEE: Let's go, let's go!
Get up to safety.
1732
01:20:08,713 --> 01:20:10,615
[SCREECHING]
1733
01:20:15,152 --> 01:20:16,588
Here we go.
1734
01:20:28,866 --> 01:20:31,234
Okay now, blow!
1735
01:20:31,236 --> 01:20:35,503
Come on. Now would be
an ideal time to blow.
1736
01:20:35,505 --> 01:20:37,942
- LITTLE ROCK: It's not working.
- Damn!
1737
01:20:43,848 --> 01:20:44,879
God!
1738
01:20:44,881 --> 01:20:46,414
Holy shit.
It worked.
1739
01:20:46,416 --> 01:20:48,751
- Oh, my God.
- Okay.
1740
01:20:48,753 --> 01:20:51,020
Okay. Here, now we
mop up the stragglers.
1741
01:20:51,022 --> 01:20:52,622
Okay. Yeah.
1742
01:20:52,624 --> 01:20:54,291
[ZOMBIES SHRIEKING, GROWLING]
1743
01:20:56,027 --> 01:20:57,359
Oh, shit.
1744
01:20:57,361 --> 01:20:59,261
Would those be
considered stragglers?
1745
01:20:59,263 --> 01:21:01,098
TALLAHASSEE:
Oh, boy. Here they come.
1746
01:21:02,433 --> 01:21:04,002
Get ready!
1747
01:21:14,012 --> 01:21:17,079
Kill those motherfuckers!
1748
01:21:17,081 --> 01:21:18,883
[ALL GRUNTING]
1749
01:21:26,189 --> 01:21:27,791
[♪♪♪]
1750
01:21:31,329 --> 01:21:34,762
Well, guys, I hate to say this.
1751
01:21:34,764 --> 01:21:37,134
I think this might be
the end of the road.
1752
01:21:39,969 --> 01:21:41,502
- Come here.
- I love you guys.
1753
01:21:41,504 --> 01:21:43,474
- I love you more.
- We had a hell of a run.
1754
01:21:46,277 --> 01:21:47,746
Oh, my God.
They're gonna die.
1755
01:21:51,515 --> 01:21:54,216
[CAR HORN BLASTS "DIXIE"]
1756
01:21:54,218 --> 01:21:55,653
[ENGINE RUMBLES]
1757
01:21:59,557 --> 01:22:00,692
Oh!
1758
01:22:03,995 --> 01:22:05,063
Hey!
1759
01:22:08,499 --> 01:22:09,434
[GROWLS]
1760
01:22:12,003 --> 01:22:14,502
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!
1761
01:22:14,504 --> 01:22:16,407
Thank God for rednecks!
1762
01:22:24,982 --> 01:22:26,649
- Need a ride?
- Oh, yeah.
1763
01:22:26,651 --> 01:22:28,086
- Get in.
- Let's go!
1764
01:22:32,188 --> 01:22:35,557
- Are y'all strapped in yet?
- Yep. Strapping in now.
1765
01:22:35,559 --> 01:22:37,493
- Rule four. Got it.
- You too.
1766
01:22:37,495 --> 01:22:40,198
I'm not a pussy like Columbus.
Nothing personal.
1767
01:22:41,631 --> 01:22:43,032
- Oh, God!
- Shit!
1768
01:22:43,034 --> 01:22:44,536
- Seatbelts are for a reason.
- Yep.
1769
01:22:48,671 --> 01:22:50,471
I'm feeling
a little nauseous.
1770
01:22:50,473 --> 01:22:53,042
- Can somebody crack a window?
- Oh, no, you don't.
1771
01:22:53,044 --> 01:22:54,743
TALLAHASSEE:
Whoa!
1772
01:22:54,745 --> 01:22:56,412
- Roll down the window.
- That won't...
1773
01:22:56,414 --> 01:22:58,416
If you get sick,
we all get sick.
1774
01:23:00,218 --> 01:23:02,083
TALLAHASSEE:
Woo-hoo!
1775
01:23:02,085 --> 01:23:03,919
Okay, okay. Oh, God.
1776
01:23:03,921 --> 01:23:06,055
Could you pull over
so I can get eaten?
1777
01:23:06,057 --> 01:23:07,291
It'll be more comfortable.
1778
01:23:10,728 --> 01:23:13,096
Whoo!
1779
01:23:13,098 --> 01:23:14,466
- Oh, shit. Watch out!
- Do it!
1780
01:23:15,900 --> 01:23:18,303
[ALL SCREAMING]
1781
01:23:19,870 --> 01:23:20,971
TALLAHASSEE:
Woo-hoo!
1782
01:23:23,107 --> 01:23:25,807
Oh, my God, you are sexy.
1783
01:23:25,809 --> 01:23:28,446
Can you not say "sexy"?
I'm already nauseous.
1784
01:23:32,250 --> 01:23:33,783
[ALL YELLING]
1785
01:23:33,785 --> 01:23:36,688
Shit, Shit, shit!
Oh, shit.
1786
01:23:37,921 --> 01:23:39,053
Shit.
1787
01:23:39,055 --> 01:23:40,489
- Shit!
- WICHITA: You guys okay?
1788
01:23:40,491 --> 01:23:42,257
Thank you for flying
Big Fat Death.
1789
01:23:42,259 --> 01:23:43,725
Let's go! Let's go!
Let's go!
1790
01:23:43,727 --> 01:23:45,927
I told you these things
were a rollover risk!
1791
01:23:45,929 --> 01:23:47,596
- NEVADA: We gotta move!
- Come on!
1792
01:23:47,598 --> 01:23:50,466
Hurry! Hurry! They're coming!
1793
01:23:50,468 --> 01:23:52,435
- Oh, no!
- Come on! Here they come!
1794
01:23:52,437 --> 01:23:53,972
- Go, go, go!
- Shit.
1795
01:23:55,106 --> 01:23:56,471
- Come on!
- Oh, shit!
1796
01:23:56,473 --> 01:23:58,908
TALLAHASSEE:
Come on!
1797
01:23:58,910 --> 01:24:00,278
- Oh, shit!
- Shit!
1798
01:24:02,580 --> 01:24:03,548
Whoa!
1799
01:24:08,753 --> 01:24:09,785
- Thank you.
- Thank you!
1800
01:24:09,787 --> 01:24:11,520
- Oh, my God!
- Yes!
1801
01:24:11,522 --> 01:24:13,122
Here they come!
1802
01:24:13,124 --> 01:24:15,193
[♪♪♪]
1803
01:24:17,929 --> 01:24:19,731
- Go, get in. Go, go, go!
- Go, go, go!
1804
01:24:23,567 --> 01:24:24,566
WICHITA:
Run!
1805
01:24:24,568 --> 01:24:25,469
[GUNFIRE]
1806
01:24:27,604 --> 01:24:30,674
- I'm out of bullets!
- Guys, go! I'm right behind you!
1807
01:24:33,777 --> 01:24:36,847
Get in position! Form the
gauntlet! I'll hold them off!
1808
01:24:40,151 --> 01:24:42,487
Donkey Kong, motherfuckers!
1809
01:24:43,987 --> 01:24:46,490
[♪♪♪]
1810
01:25:07,844 --> 01:25:10,346
COLUMBUS: You can't write
the history of Zombieland
1811
01:25:10,348 --> 01:25:14,182
without telling the story
of one momentous day.
1812
01:25:14,184 --> 01:25:17,185
The day one free man
made the ultimate sacrifice
1813
01:25:17,187 --> 01:25:20,321
and paid respect
to the Blackfoot ancestors
1814
01:25:20,323 --> 01:25:22,192
he may or may not have had.
1815
01:25:24,260 --> 01:25:27,829
The day he led the first,
the last, the only
1816
01:25:27,831 --> 01:25:29,200
great American zombie jump.
1817
01:25:38,175 --> 01:25:39,376
[YELLS]
1818
01:25:50,254 --> 01:25:51,723
- [SCREAMS]
- [GRUNTING]
1819
01:25:57,862 --> 01:25:59,595
Zombie Kill of the Year?
1820
01:25:59,597 --> 01:26:01,263
COLUMBUS:
Century.
1821
01:26:01,265 --> 01:26:03,899
Only one problem.
Well, okay, two.
1822
01:26:03,901 --> 01:26:05,336
[BOTH GROWLING]
1823
01:26:06,603 --> 01:26:07,571
Oh!
1824
01:26:10,107 --> 01:26:12,440
[TALLAHASSEE SCREAMS]
1825
01:26:12,442 --> 01:26:14,275
- Hey!
- NEVADA: Tallahassee!
1826
01:26:14,277 --> 01:26:17,111
- Hang on, we're coming.
- LITTLE ROCK: Hold on.
1827
01:26:17,113 --> 01:26:18,446
- Help! I'm falling!
- Shit!
1828
01:26:18,448 --> 01:26:20,315
NEVADA:
We can't help you.
1829
01:26:20,317 --> 01:26:21,816
Guys! Help me!
1830
01:26:21,818 --> 01:26:24,319
- Shit. What should we do?
- Throw something at them.
1831
01:26:24,321 --> 01:26:27,088
Oh, shit. Okay. Shit. Sorry.
1832
01:26:27,090 --> 01:26:30,059
Wha... You hit me in the nuts
with a hacky sack!
1833
01:26:30,061 --> 01:26:31,293
- Sorry.
- What?
1834
01:26:31,295 --> 01:26:33,731
I'm losing my grip.
I'm gonna fall.
1835
01:26:35,098 --> 01:26:37,432
No! Oh, no!
1836
01:26:37,434 --> 01:26:38,434
[GUNSHOT]
1837
01:26:38,436 --> 01:26:39,637
[SCREAMS]
1838
01:26:42,138 --> 01:26:43,106
[THUD]
1839
01:26:44,607 --> 01:26:46,941
[♪♪♪]
1840
01:26:46,943 --> 01:26:48,446
[PANTING]
1841
01:26:51,214 --> 01:26:52,851
[IMITATES ELVIS]
Long live the King.
1842
01:26:54,251 --> 01:26:56,485
- Oh.
- MADISON: Ew.
1843
01:26:56,487 --> 01:26:58,419
Guys! I'm still here!
1844
01:26:58,421 --> 01:27:00,388
- Give me your hand!
- WICHITA: Hold my arm.
1845
01:27:00,390 --> 01:27:03,057
- LITTLE ROCK: Kick your foot out.
- Goddamn it, Columbus!
1846
01:27:03,059 --> 01:27:04,493
Point your toe!
1847
01:27:04,495 --> 01:27:06,294
This human chain thing
is a terrible idea!
1848
01:27:06,296 --> 01:27:07,663
- Guh!
- WICHITA: I can't reach.
1849
01:27:07,665 --> 01:27:09,498
Kick it, kick it. I got it.
1850
01:27:09,500 --> 01:27:11,132
Pull, pull.
1851
01:27:11,134 --> 01:27:13,101
Okay. I got you.
1852
01:27:13,103 --> 01:27:14,435
Okay.
1853
01:27:14,437 --> 01:27:16,637
Oh, man. Are you okay?
1854
01:27:16,639 --> 01:27:18,507
- Yeah.
- That was amazing.
1855
01:27:18,509 --> 01:27:20,478
Oh... Thank you.
1856
01:27:21,778 --> 01:27:22,780
Hey.
1857
01:27:25,682 --> 01:27:27,149
You kept the gun?
1858
01:27:27,151 --> 01:27:29,618
How could I give up
my favorite Christmas present?
1859
01:27:29,620 --> 01:27:31,319
Why didn't you
pull it out sooner?
1860
01:27:31,321 --> 01:27:33,888
I forget about it but...
I smoked a lot of weed.
1861
01:27:33,890 --> 01:27:35,958
[LAUGHS]
1862
01:27:35,960 --> 01:27:37,395
Chip off the old block.
1863
01:27:40,697 --> 01:27:42,530
Yes.
1864
01:27:42,532 --> 01:27:44,902
Yes?
Oh, yes, yes?
1865
01:27:46,036 --> 01:27:47,005
Yes, yes.
1866
01:27:48,572 --> 01:27:49,738
Yes, yes, yes?
1867
01:27:49,740 --> 01:27:51,640
- Yes. Yes.
- Yes?
1868
01:27:51,642 --> 01:27:52,710
- Really?
- Mm-hm.
1869
01:27:55,146 --> 01:27:56,912
What changed your mind?
1870
01:27:56,914 --> 01:27:59,617
Because Zombieland or not,
we're meant to be together.
1871
01:28:01,251 --> 01:28:03,052
[♪♪♪]
1872
01:28:03,054 --> 01:28:07,856
So basically, that means
this belongs to her.
1873
01:28:07,858 --> 01:28:10,926
Oh, hm. Cool.
1874
01:28:10,928 --> 01:28:12,593
Thank you.
1875
01:28:12,595 --> 01:28:14,061
Okay.
1876
01:28:14,063 --> 01:28:15,098
[CHUCKLES]
1877
01:28:16,433 --> 01:28:18,400
- Okay. Are you ready?
- Yeah.
1878
01:28:18,402 --> 01:28:19,735
- Okay. I'm good.
- Okay.
1879
01:28:19,737 --> 01:28:22,238
- Yeah, do the damn thing. Yeah.
- Okay.
1880
01:28:22,240 --> 01:28:25,407
- Great. Which hand do I...?
- This one.
1881
01:28:25,409 --> 01:28:26,777
- Okay.
- Okay, yes. Here we go.
1882
01:28:31,314 --> 01:28:32,717
Wow.
1883
01:28:33,918 --> 01:28:35,186
Come here.
1884
01:28:38,522 --> 01:28:39,687
[SIGHS]
1885
01:28:39,689 --> 01:28:41,891
Nicely done.
1886
01:28:41,893 --> 01:28:45,860
I'm gonna walk that little
spitfuck down the aisle.
1887
01:28:45,862 --> 01:28:48,530
It's a good thing
you didn't die, then.
1888
01:28:48,532 --> 01:28:49,800
Washoe County.
1889
01:28:52,369 --> 01:28:55,203
- What?
- Washoe County, Nevada.
1890
01:28:55,205 --> 01:28:57,071
Ah, Reno.
1891
01:28:57,073 --> 01:28:58,977
Biggest little city
in the world.
1892
01:29:06,517 --> 01:29:07,783
- Just go for it.
- Thank you.
1893
01:29:07,785 --> 01:29:09,517
- Sweet.
- Oh, my God.
1894
01:29:09,519 --> 01:29:10,851
[GROANING]
1895
01:29:10,853 --> 01:29:11,953
What? What?
1896
01:29:11,955 --> 01:29:13,491
- Oh, my gosh!
- Shit!
1897
01:29:14,858 --> 01:29:16,958
[YELLS]
1898
01:29:16,960 --> 01:29:18,526
[THUDS]
1899
01:29:18,528 --> 01:29:22,230
- Homer. It's a long way down.
- Our work here is done.
1900
01:29:22,232 --> 01:29:23,797
Let's party!
1901
01:29:23,799 --> 01:29:25,268
- Come on!
- Yeah!
1902
01:29:26,437 --> 01:29:27,636
WICHITA:
Wait for me.
1903
01:29:27,638 --> 01:29:29,037
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
1904
01:29:29,039 --> 01:29:31,309
[♪♪♪]
1905
01:29:50,494 --> 01:29:55,596
Hell, this is
a 1955 Fleetwood Series 60. Hoo!
1906
01:29:55,598 --> 01:29:59,802
Every hair on my body
feels like a little wang.
1907
01:29:59,804 --> 01:30:02,171
- Yikes.
- Where to?
1908
01:30:02,173 --> 01:30:04,605
Mm, how about home?
1909
01:30:04,607 --> 01:30:05,707
Home?
1910
01:30:05,709 --> 01:30:06,844
- Yeah.
- Yes, good idea.
1911
01:30:08,845 --> 01:30:09,880
Where's home?
1912
01:30:11,514 --> 01:30:14,283
I think we're already there.
1913
01:30:14,285 --> 01:30:15,985
COLUMBUS:
Because if our adventures
1914
01:30:15,987 --> 01:30:18,653
had taught us about anything,
it was home.
1915
01:30:18,655 --> 01:30:20,821
Wichita didn't need
to be afraid of it.
1916
01:30:20,823 --> 01:30:22,856
I didn't need
to keep looking for it.
1917
01:30:22,858 --> 01:30:26,662
Because home isn't a place,
it's the people you're with.
1918
01:30:26,664 --> 01:30:28,963
I guess that's why
they're called your homies.
1919
01:30:28,965 --> 01:30:31,199
And my homies
are pretty fucking awesome.
1920
01:30:31,201 --> 01:30:33,802
So till next time,
this is Columbus, Ohio,
1921
01:30:33,804 --> 01:30:36,003
on behalf of Wichita,
Little Rock,
1922
01:30:36,005 --> 01:30:37,306
Reno and Tallahassee,
1923
01:30:37,308 --> 01:30:41,141
saying hasta la vista, baby.
1924
01:30:41,143 --> 01:30:42,677
That one's for you, Flagstaff.
1925
01:30:42,679 --> 01:30:43,944
[ZOMBIE GROANS]
1926
01:30:43,946 --> 01:30:46,851
[♪♪♪]
1927
01:30:49,219 --> 01:30:53,690
♪ Lord Almighty
I feel my temperature rising ♪
1928
01:30:55,826 --> 01:30:57,559
♪ Higher, higher ♪
1929
01:30:57,561 --> 01:30:59,996
♪ It's burning through
To my soul... ♪
1930
01:31:02,866 --> 01:31:05,199
COLUMBUS: Oh, hey.
Yeah, sorry. One more thing.
1931
01:31:05,201 --> 01:31:07,802
I'm feeling a little guilty
about what Nevada said.
1932
01:31:07,804 --> 01:31:10,471
You know, about Murraying
a certain you-know-who?
1933
01:31:10,473 --> 01:31:12,207
Yeah, my bad.
I blew a hole
1934
01:31:12,209 --> 01:31:14,642
through the finest comic actor
of our generation.
1935
01:31:14,644 --> 01:31:17,244
But I would love to make it up
to you, to all of you.
1936
01:31:17,246 --> 01:31:19,980
And for that,
we gotta go back to 2009.
1937
01:31:19,982 --> 01:31:21,218
[♪♪♪]
1938
01:31:23,387 --> 01:31:24,752
Welcome, everyone,
1939
01:31:24,754 --> 01:31:26,888
to the Garfield 3: Flabby Tabby
junket.
1940
01:31:26,890 --> 01:31:28,423
You'll each have five minutes.
1941
01:31:28,425 --> 01:31:30,726
Please keep your questions
focused on the film
1942
01:31:30,728 --> 01:31:32,427
and don't go off-topic.
1943
01:31:32,429 --> 01:31:34,596
MURRAY: The idea of a
trilogy was something...
1944
01:31:34,598 --> 01:31:38,065
As an artist,
you think the great ones:
1945
01:31:38,067 --> 01:31:40,034
Godfather and...
1946
01:31:40,036 --> 01:31:42,136
uh, Lethal Weapon.
1947
01:31:42,138 --> 01:31:45,974
But the question is,
why in the world Garfield 3?
1948
01:31:45,976 --> 01:31:48,275
- Can this be just between us?
- Yes.
1949
01:31:48,277 --> 01:31:50,311
Drugs cost money.
1950
01:31:50,313 --> 01:31:52,047
And I have to say,
as an actor,
1951
01:31:52,049 --> 01:31:54,748
how many of your nine lives
do you think you have left?
1952
01:31:54,750 --> 01:31:58,287
Well, I've done three of these.
Three Garfields.
1953
01:31:58,289 --> 01:31:59,587
So that's six.
1954
01:31:59,589 --> 01:32:01,556
The essence of Garfield,
I think...
1955
01:32:01,558 --> 01:32:02,623
MURRAY:
Right.
1956
01:32:02,625 --> 01:32:04,825
...is the hairball.
1957
01:32:04,827 --> 01:32:07,294
Didn't I say? I had a feeling
this would come up.
1958
01:32:07,296 --> 01:32:09,267
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
1959
01:32:11,802 --> 01:32:14,002
You don't wanna do the hairball
really quick?
1960
01:32:14,004 --> 01:32:15,770
- No.
- Can you try now?
1961
01:32:15,772 --> 01:32:18,340
- Give me a little hairball now?
- Come on.
1962
01:32:18,342 --> 01:32:19,977
[RETCHING]
1963
01:32:21,143 --> 01:32:22,213
Come on.
[GAGGING]
1964
01:32:25,415 --> 01:32:28,150
[CROAKING]
1965
01:32:28,152 --> 01:32:30,284
You know, how about if I
did it with you?
1966
01:32:30,286 --> 01:32:32,287
- Okay. Come on. Come on.
- That was close.
1967
01:32:32,289 --> 01:32:33,855
We'll do a selfie together.
1968
01:32:33,857 --> 01:32:35,757
- [BOTH GROANING]
- [SHUTTER CLICKING]
1969
01:32:35,759 --> 01:32:37,191
Great. Great.
1970
01:32:37,193 --> 01:32:40,227
[BOTH GAGGING]
1971
01:32:40,229 --> 01:32:41,997
You all right, man?
1972
01:32:41,999 --> 01:32:43,064
[GASPS]
1973
01:32:43,066 --> 01:32:44,298
All over the mike.
1974
01:32:44,300 --> 01:32:45,900
Can we get a baby wipe
for Al?
1975
01:32:45,902 --> 01:32:47,668
Maybe move him back
to his room?
1976
01:32:47,670 --> 01:32:48,736
[GROANING]
1977
01:32:48,738 --> 01:32:51,142
[SCREAMING]
1978
01:32:54,411 --> 01:32:56,180
Huge fan, Mr. Roker.
1979
01:32:58,514 --> 01:33:00,649
All right, Tim,
let's get out of here.
1980
01:33:00,651 --> 01:33:02,650
Somebody get my car.
I'm ready to go.
1981
01:33:02,652 --> 01:33:04,651
I've never seen Roker
behave that way.
1982
01:33:04,653 --> 01:33:06,020
That was crazy.
1983
01:33:06,022 --> 01:33:08,090
Sometimes it feels like
you against the world.
1984
01:33:08,092 --> 01:33:09,524
- Oh, my God.
- I think it is.
1985
01:33:09,526 --> 01:33:10,528
[SCREAMS]
1986
01:33:12,763 --> 01:33:14,128
[ROARS]
1987
01:33:14,130 --> 01:33:15,696
[♪♪♪]
1988
01:33:15,698 --> 01:33:16,830
Oh, dear.
1989
01:33:16,832 --> 01:33:18,432
♪ Don't nobody worry 'bout me ♪
1990
01:33:18,434 --> 01:33:20,101
[CHUCKLES]
1991
01:33:20,103 --> 01:33:21,239
Excuse me?
1992
01:33:23,773 --> 01:33:25,106
[BONES CRACK]
1993
01:33:25,108 --> 01:33:27,708
♪ Do what you like ♪
1994
01:33:27,710 --> 01:33:29,511
♪ Doing it naturally ♪
1995
01:33:29,513 --> 01:33:31,212
Nice!
1996
01:33:31,214 --> 01:33:33,782
♪ But if it's too easy ♪
1997
01:33:33,784 --> 01:33:35,115
♪ They're gonna disagree ♪
1998
01:33:35,117 --> 01:33:36,484
MAN:
Help me!
1999
01:33:36,486 --> 01:33:39,687
♪ It's your life ♪
2000
01:33:39,689 --> 01:33:42,259
Bill Murray! I love some
of your films. Help me!
2001
01:33:45,562 --> 01:33:47,098
I ain't afraid of no ghost.
2002
01:33:51,669 --> 01:33:53,638
Buenas tardes, señorita.
2003
01:33:57,941 --> 01:33:59,940
I hate Mondays.
2004
01:33:59,942 --> 01:34:05,115
♪ Lord Almighty
I feel my temperature rising ♪
2005
01:34:07,416 --> 01:34:09,184
♪ Higher, higher ♪
2006
01:34:09,186 --> 01:34:11,822
♪ It's burning through
To my soul ♪
2007
01:34:14,058 --> 01:34:15,757
♪ Girl, girl, girl ♪
2008
01:34:15,759 --> 01:34:18,763
♪ You gonna set me on fire ♪
2009
01:34:20,697 --> 01:34:22,430
♪ My brain is flaming ♪
2010
01:34:22,432 --> 01:34:24,902
♪ I don't know
Which way to go ♪
2011
01:34:27,138 --> 01:34:30,538
♪ And your kisses
Lift me higher ♪
2012
01:34:30,540 --> 01:34:33,909
♪ Like the sweet song
Of a choir ♪
2013
01:34:33,911 --> 01:34:36,410
♪ And you light
My morning sky ♪
2014
01:34:36,412 --> 01:34:38,915
♪ With your burning love ♪
2015
01:34:40,916 --> 01:34:42,550
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
2016
01:34:42,552 --> 01:34:47,455
♪ I feel
My temperature rising, yeah ♪
2017
01:34:47,457 --> 01:34:49,190
♪ Well, help me, I'm flaming ♪
2018
01:34:49,192 --> 01:34:54,128
♪ I must be
A hundred and nine, wow ♪
2019
01:34:54,130 --> 01:34:55,963
♪ Burning, burning ♪
2020
01:34:55,965 --> 01:35:00,302
♪ Burning
And nothing can cool me, oh ♪
2021
01:35:00,304 --> 01:35:03,204
♪ I just might turn
Into smoke ♪
2022
01:35:03,206 --> 01:35:05,343
♪ But I feel fine ♪
2023
01:35:07,076 --> 01:35:10,278
♪ Because your kisses
Lift me higher ♪
2024
01:35:10,280 --> 01:35:13,815
♪ Like the sweet song
Of a choir ♪
2025
01:35:13,817 --> 01:35:16,417
♪ And you light
My morning sky ♪
2026
01:35:16,419 --> 01:35:21,088
♪ With your burning love
Yeah ♪
2027
01:35:21,090 --> 01:35:24,092
♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪
2028
01:35:24,094 --> 01:35:27,428
♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪
2029
01:35:27,430 --> 01:35:31,669
♪ Ah, ah, ah
Burning love ♪
2030
01:35:33,969 --> 01:35:35,770
♪ It's coming closer ♪
2031
01:35:35,772 --> 01:35:40,909
♪ The flames are now
Reachin' my body, oh ♪
2032
01:35:40,911 --> 01:35:42,577
♪ Please, won't you help me ♪
2033
01:35:42,579 --> 01:35:47,515
♪ I feel like
I'm slippin' away, oh ♪
2034
01:35:47,517 --> 01:35:49,217
♪ It's hard to breathe ♪
2035
01:35:49,219 --> 01:35:51,856
♪ Oh, and my chest
Is a-heaving ♪
2036
01:35:54,023 --> 01:35:55,891
♪ Oh, Lord have mercy ♪
2037
01:35:55,893 --> 01:35:58,696
♪ I'm burning a hole
where I lay ♪
2038
01:36:00,530 --> 01:36:03,730
♪ 'Cause your kisses
Lift me higher ♪
2039
01:36:03,732 --> 01:36:07,334
♪ Like the sweet song
Of a choir ♪
2040
01:36:07,336 --> 01:36:09,805
♪ And you light
My morning sky ♪
2041
01:36:09,807 --> 01:36:12,239
♪ With your burning love ♪
2042
01:36:12,241 --> 01:36:15,711
♪ Yeah, your burning love ♪
2043
01:36:15,713 --> 01:36:18,879
♪ Ah, your burning love ♪
2044
01:36:18,881 --> 01:36:20,649
♪ Ooh ♪
2045
01:36:20,651 --> 01:36:23,752
♪ I'm just a hunk
A hunk of burning love ♪
2046
01:36:23,754 --> 01:36:27,355
♪ I'm just a hunk
A hunk of burning love ♪
2047
01:36:27,357 --> 01:36:30,391
♪ I'm just a hunk
A hunk of burning love ♪
2048
01:36:30,393 --> 01:36:33,727
♪ I'm just a hunk
A hunk of burning love ♪
2049
01:36:33,729 --> 01:36:36,998
♪ I'm just a hunk
A hunk of burning love ♪
2050
01:36:37,000 --> 01:36:40,334
♪ I'm just a hunk
A hunk of burning love ♪
2051
01:36:40,336 --> 01:36:43,404
♪ Burning love, yeah ♪
2052
01:36:43,406 --> 01:36:48,878
♪ Burning love, nah ♪
2053
01:36:52,482 --> 01:36:54,785
[♪♪♪]
2054
01:37:50,272 --> 01:37:52,175
[♪♪♪]
2055
01:38:15,165 --> 01:38:17,067
[♪♪♪]
2056
01:38:31,514 --> 01:38:33,183
[GAGGING]
2057
01:38:37,653 --> 01:38:40,288
Oh, pardon. En español,
it's like:
2058
01:38:40,290 --> 01:38:42,289
[HIGH-PITCHED GAGGING]
2059
01:38:42,291 --> 01:38:44,195
[WOMAN LAUGHING]
2060
01:38:47,664 --> 01:38:49,767
P... P... Pardon my accent.
2061
01:38:50,695 --> 01:38:55,695
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org