1 00:00:01,017 --> 00:00:04,303 - You had us worried. - About what? 2 00:00:04,521 --> 00:00:08,982 Well, we put Uncle Joe to bed and we realised how late it was, 3 00:00:09,193 --> 00:00:12,278 and we got concerned about you. 4 00:00:12,488 --> 00:00:16,949 Monday nights I go to this news-stand to get the new TV Guide for Joe. 5 00:00:19,371 --> 00:00:23,748 He likes to get it early so he can circle everything he wants to watch. 6 00:00:23,959 --> 00:00:26,201 Does he circle your ass? 7 00:00:27,296 --> 00:00:31,709 You really are a stupid sod, aren't you? I'm going to bed. 8 00:00:33,303 --> 00:00:38,131 Uncle Joe was sprawled out up there. You might want to push him to one side. 9 00:00:41,770 --> 00:00:44,937 - You think I'm bonking the old gent. - Yeah, we do. 10 00:00:48,444 --> 00:00:50,353 Let me tell you something, handsome. 11 00:00:50,571 --> 00:00:54,866 If I were having sex with your Uncle Joe, he'd be dead by now. 12 00:00:55,076 --> 00:00:57,994 Yeah, that's right. You're just his nurse. Huh! 13 00:00:58,205 --> 00:01:01,325 Yeah, I believe that. Excuse me a second. Ha-ha-ha! 14 00:01:01,542 --> 00:01:04,459 I'm no more a nurse than you are a human being. 15 00:01:04,670 --> 00:01:07,837 I'm here because I'm fun. And I'm fun to look at. 16 00:01:08,049 --> 00:01:10,801 I don't mind, because I like it here. 17 00:01:11,010 --> 00:01:16,135 I like the car, I like the house, I like the comfort. My life hasn't always been very comfortable. 18 00:01:16,349 --> 00:01:21,592 Also, I like your Uncle Joe. He's tough, he's funny and he's nice to me. 19 00:01:21,814 --> 00:01:23,937 But I'm not a whore. 20 00:01:24,149 --> 00:01:28,776 And if he asked me to sleep with him, I'd leave. Goodnight. 21 00:01:30,865 --> 00:01:35,824 It took you one day to get rid of Danny. one day, thats pretty Impressive, but that is not our last move! 22 00:01:36,037 --> 00:01:37,829 Move? 23 00:01:38,039 --> 00:01:40,613 You mean Danny's part of you? 24 00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:44,334 - Up until now we've been nice. - But these are the finals, honey. 25 00:01:44,547 --> 00:01:46,789 - We're diving for every ball. - What? 26 00:01:47,008 --> 00:01:50,128 I didn't like the Beatles and I don't like you. 27 00:01:50,345 --> 00:01:54,425 - You know, you're insane. - Listen! People have accidents. 28 00:01:58,103 --> 00:02:01,638 - What? - Frank, what are you saying? 29 00:02:01,857 --> 00:02:05,143 I'm saying people have accidents, that's all. 30 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,622 - Got you, boss. - OK. 31 00:03:03,674 --> 00:03:05,501 Here. 32 00:03:09,138 --> 00:03:10,846 - Take over. - Yes, sir. 33 00:03:11,057 --> 00:03:15,269 - You still work here. - I love this place. 34 00:03:17,022 --> 00:03:19,145 Who wouldn't? 35 00:03:20,275 --> 00:03:22,517 Well I am here. What do you want to see me about? 36 00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:27,233 Okay short and sweet. I figured you came back sucking around for money, 37 00:03:27,450 --> 00:03:32,326 that you were like the others. Maybe you're not. 38 00:03:32,539 --> 00:03:35,706 So I apologise. OK? 39 00:03:35,917 --> 00:03:37,661 Go home now. 40 00:03:37,878 --> 00:03:41,330 God, that was lovely. I'm getting a little weepy. 41 00:03:43,426 --> 00:03:48,468 You're still a funny kid. Not as cute as you used to be, though. 42 00:03:48,681 --> 00:03:51,885 Yeah, well, you're no Monet yourself. 43 00:03:52,102 --> 00:03:57,938 Well, I lived in the streets till I was 20. What do you expect? I was homeless before it was popular. 44 00:03:59,234 --> 00:04:03,185 Can we go inside a second? 45 00:04:03,406 --> 00:04:07,404 I'm sorry that after all these years I even brought up the subject of money. 46 00:04:07,619 --> 00:04:09,861 I didn't mean to. 47 00:04:11,247 --> 00:04:13,917 Maybe I did. But anyway, I'm sorry I did. 48 00:04:14,126 --> 00:04:16,332 Still want the money? 49 00:04:16,545 --> 00:04:19,166 Jesus, you don't let up. 50 00:04:19,381 --> 00:04:23,711 Look, money's money, OK? I need it just like everybody else. 51 00:04:23,928 --> 00:04:29,634 But money is not going to turn me into a sycophantic ass-licking wacko. 52 00:04:29,851 --> 00:04:33,351 I have work to do. Thanks for coming over. 53 00:04:35,107 --> 00:04:38,642 Before you go, could you get me a cup of water? 54 00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:42,195 It's hot in here. 55 00:04:42,406 --> 00:04:44,779 Yeah, OK. 56 00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:58,121 Hello? Long Island Hauling? I got a load sitting out here for a week. 57 00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:00,582 Fieldstone 855... 58 00:05:02,428 --> 00:05:04,468 What? 59 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:10,435 What do you mean, they're out of business 25 years? I call them every day. 60 00:05:18,779 --> 00:05:20,606 Joe? 61 00:05:25,828 --> 00:05:28,995 - Joe? - 25 years. 62 00:05:31,793 --> 00:05:34,664 Should I go get someone? Are you...? 63 00:05:36,590 --> 00:05:39,544 - I'm going to get someone. - Danny! 64 00:05:42,805 --> 00:05:46,424 - Stay here. - Are you all right? 65 00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:51,598 I have gaps. Lapses. I... 66 00:05:51,815 --> 00:05:56,312 - How often? - More lately. I'm hurting the business. 67 00:05:56,528 --> 00:05:59,102 What? No, I mean, I'm sure... 68 00:05:59,323 --> 00:06:03,155 If your cousins find out, they'll take me to court. 69 00:06:03,369 --> 00:06:07,284 They'll declare me incompetent. They'll pick me clean like buzzards. 70 00:06:09,125 --> 00:06:11,747 They'll put me away. 71 00:06:12,838 --> 00:06:15,590 I have an idea. Lock the door. 72 00:06:15,799 --> 00:06:17,128 Quick! 73 00:06:20,805 --> 00:06:23,676 Get a chair. Come on. 74 00:06:25,310 --> 00:06:28,644 - It's really my lawyer's idea. - OK. 75 00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:34,859 He says that I can turn all my affairs, give everything over to one person now, 76 00:06:35,070 --> 00:06:38,605 before this gets worse, which it will. 77 00:06:40,076 --> 00:06:44,822 Someone I trust who'll take care of me, who'll take care of the business. 78 00:06:45,957 --> 00:06:47,866 You understand? 79 00:06:48,084 --> 00:06:49,080 Yeah. 80 00:06:53,090 --> 00:06:55,546 I don't want to go into a home. 81 00:06:56,844 --> 00:06:59,300 I wouldn't let that happen. 82 00:07:02,308 --> 00:07:04,266 - You wouldn't? - No. 83 00:07:04,477 --> 00:07:08,558 You understand? This person gets control of my money now. 84 00:07:08,774 --> 00:07:12,439 Not when I'm dead. Now. All of it. 85 00:07:15,865 --> 00:07:17,442 Yes. 86 00:07:18,701 --> 00:07:24,325 I'll do it. I'm going to call my lawyers, set up a meeting for next week. 87 00:07:25,667 --> 00:07:29,083 I'm going to sign these and turn everything over to Molly. 88 00:07:29,296 --> 00:07:31,502 Right. Because I... 89 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,709 - To Molly? - Yes. 90 00:07:34,927 --> 00:07:39,803 She's been so kind to me. Nobody's ever been so kind. 91 00:07:40,016 --> 00:07:44,678 - You're giving everything to Molly? - Yeah. Who did you think I meant? 92 00:07:47,274 --> 00:07:49,101 You thought I meant you. 93 00:07:51,570 --> 00:07:53,942 No! No. 94 00:07:55,282 --> 00:07:58,734 - But Molly? - You think it's a mistake. 95 00:07:58,953 --> 00:08:00,495 I don't know, I... 96 00:08:00,705 --> 00:08:03,825 I want to make love to her. 97 00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:07,954 - Joe. - If I did this, she... 98 00:08:08,171 --> 00:08:10,663 she'd make love to me. Don't you think? 99 00:08:12,176 --> 00:08:13,967 Joe, look. 100 00:08:14,178 --> 00:08:17,879 A lot of women will make love to you for a lot less of money. 101 00:08:18,099 --> 00:08:20,507 No. I want her. 102 00:08:20,727 --> 00:08:23,182 This doesn't sound so good to me. 103 00:08:23,396 --> 00:08:26,600 I just don't think that you're being... 104 00:08:26,817 --> 00:08:31,693 I just don't think that you've had time to think this through. 105 00:08:31,905 --> 00:08:37,612 I'm so tired of thinking, "Who should I trust? Who's not just after my money?" 106 00:08:37,829 --> 00:08:42,242 Danny, help me. I'm exhausted. I... 107 00:08:44,169 --> 00:08:47,040 Maybe I should leave all the money to you. 108 00:08:51,176 --> 00:08:53,881 Well, why don't...? 109 00:08:54,096 --> 00:08:57,548 Why don't we talk about this later? OK? 110 00:08:57,767 --> 00:08:59,142 All right. 111 00:08:59,352 --> 00:09:03,813 In the meantime, I think it would be best if you just don't do anything. 112 00:09:04,024 --> 00:09:05,601 All right. 113 00:09:05,817 --> 00:09:09,650 I'm so tired. Get Douglas to take me home. 114 00:09:09,863 --> 00:09:12,189 I'll be right back. 115 00:09:27,007 --> 00:09:30,174 Throws and shoots... and scores! 116 00:09:30,803 --> 00:09:34,468 Gimme the guy in the stands with the blue and white face. 117 00:09:34,682 --> 00:09:37,090 That's good. Hold it. Take it. 118 00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:42,435 It was the saddest thing you ever saw. This tough old guy just so shrivelled up. 119 00:09:42,649 --> 00:09:46,232 Dick, get ready to throw to a commercial. Honey, I'm concentrating. 120 00:09:46,445 --> 00:09:48,817 - Coe scores! - You missed the basket! 121 00:09:49,031 --> 00:09:52,032 Dick, sign off and go to commercial. 122 00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:54,070 - Music! - We're a minute under. 123 00:09:54,287 --> 00:09:58,154 You missed the basket for the guy with the painted face. 124 00:09:58,374 --> 00:10:03,666 Wait a minute. Who's directing this, you or me? Let me check. 125 00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:07,380 That's my ass! That's my ass in the director's chair! 126 00:10:07,593 --> 00:10:09,751 Shit! I must be the director! 127 00:10:11,055 --> 00:10:15,432 - Stan, we're back in 20. - No, it's OK. This guy'll do it. Here you go. 128 00:10:15,643 --> 00:10:17,885 Slide right in here, slugger. 129 00:10:18,104 --> 00:10:20,346 Get me a wide shot, then zoom in. 130 00:10:20,565 --> 00:10:22,273 Get outta here! 131 00:10:22,484 --> 00:10:24,809 I'm just getting the hang of this. 132 00:10:25,028 --> 00:10:28,861 - It was nice meeting you and your ass! - That's nice. 133 00:10:29,074 --> 00:10:31,862 Give me another shot of the painted face. 134 00:10:32,745 --> 00:10:34,619 What a pinhead. 135 00:10:34,831 --> 00:10:38,449 I have to work with that pinhead, so I'll meet you at... 136 00:10:38,668 --> 00:10:43,165 I just wanted to tell you that I'm moving in with Uncle Joe for a while. 137 00:10:43,382 --> 00:10:44,413 Really? 138 00:10:44,633 --> 00:10:49,094 Honey, I gotta keep an eye on him. He's not all there. 139 00:10:49,305 --> 00:10:52,674 He's thinking of giving that naked pizza girl $20 million. 140 00:10:52,892 --> 00:10:55,015 Yeah, that does seem wrong. 141 00:10:55,228 --> 00:10:59,060 But who should get it? Your cousins? God, what a crew. Klingons. 142 00:10:59,274 --> 00:11:02,358 Well, he sort of mentioned that he might... 143 00:11:02,569 --> 00:11:07,066 - What? - That he might give it to me. 144 00:11:08,742 --> 00:11:12,871 I'm not taking it that seriously. That's not why I'm going over there. 145 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,619 I'm just... I'm worried about him. 146 00:11:18,753 --> 00:11:23,166 Still, it's a funny idea, isn't it? 147 00:11:24,510 --> 00:11:28,045 You, me. Married. 148 00:11:29,140 --> 00:11:31,713 Living in that big house. 149 00:11:31,934 --> 00:11:34,057 Yeah, it's funny. 150 00:11:42,905 --> 00:11:45,859 Don't forget, you owe me a dollar for the shoes. 151 00:11:48,410 --> 00:11:52,243 Anyway, as I was saying, 152 00:11:52,457 --> 00:11:56,289 my lawyer says I can turn all my money, everything, 153 00:11:56,503 --> 00:11:59,670 over to one person. Now. 154 00:11:59,881 --> 00:12:02,752 - You understand? - Yes. 155 00:12:02,968 --> 00:12:06,384 - I don't want to end up in a home. - You won't. 156 00:12:08,724 --> 00:12:12,224 I'm gonna call my lawyer and I'll set up a meeting for next week 157 00:12:12,437 --> 00:12:16,304 and I'm gonna turn everything over to Danny. 158 00:12:20,737 --> 00:12:22,445 Danny? 159 00:12:22,656 --> 00:12:25,408 It was his idea. Who did you think I...? 160 00:12:27,995 --> 00:12:30,949 You thought I meant you. 161 00:12:31,165 --> 00:12:35,662 - No. No, I just... - Molly, what would people say? 162 00:12:35,879 --> 00:12:38,037 How would it look? 163 00:12:38,256 --> 00:12:42,883 What do you really know about this bloke? You haven't seen him in 25 years. 164 00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:46,511 He shows up here wanting money for a bowling alley. 165 00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:50,058 I don't know. I don't know who to trust. 166 00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:54,437 Maybe I should leave all my money to you. 167 00:13:03,826 --> 00:13:05,154 Joe-Joe. 168 00:13:08,331 --> 00:13:09,955 Yes! 169 00:13:10,166 --> 00:13:14,116 - Did you see that? - Yeah. 170 00:13:16,381 --> 00:13:19,881 Excuse me. You have a call from Washington DC, sir. 171 00:13:20,093 --> 00:13:22,964 I'll take it upstairs. 172 00:13:24,056 --> 00:13:28,006 You stay here with Danny. Talk. Enjoy yourself. 173 00:13:28,728 --> 00:13:30,851 Let's go, Douglas. 174 00:13:34,609 --> 00:13:37,527 You're working for your cousins, aren't you? 175 00:13:40,199 --> 00:13:42,025 Wait a minute. How? Who? 176 00:13:42,242 --> 00:13:46,905 They let it slip out the other night before they threatened to kill me. 177 00:13:47,123 --> 00:13:49,412 They did what? 178 00:13:51,669 --> 00:13:54,670 Tell your cousins I'm not afraid of them. 179 00:13:56,091 --> 00:13:58,416 And you leave Joe alone. 180 00:13:59,511 --> 00:14:02,880 You keep your breasts off his eyebrows. 181 00:14:06,018 --> 00:14:08,307 - Hey, you little... - Get off! 182 00:14:08,521 --> 00:14:11,356 - Come on! - Mommy! 183 00:14:16,029 --> 00:14:17,737 It's good. 184 00:14:17,948 --> 00:14:22,990 What's happening, Wonder Boy? I mean, look at this. 185 00:14:25,414 --> 00:14:28,534 Her tongue is practically in his wallet. 186 00:14:30,378 --> 00:14:32,418 What are you drinking? 187 00:14:32,630 --> 00:14:36,842 It's a 7-Up. I'm not much of a drinker. 188 00:14:37,052 --> 00:14:38,677 You will be. 189 00:14:39,513 --> 00:14:42,633 There's something I wanted to ask you. 190 00:14:43,976 --> 00:14:46,646 - Did you go and see Molly and...? - No. 191 00:14:46,854 --> 00:14:49,808 Let me finish. All right? 192 00:14:50,024 --> 00:14:54,983 Did you go and see Molly and threaten to kill her? 193 00:14:56,657 --> 00:15:01,652 What? You see how evil she is? You see what we're dealing with? 194 00:15:01,871 --> 00:15:08,075 Why, we... We went to her to ask her if Joe's taking his medication. 195 00:15:08,294 --> 00:15:10,702 You know, for his... circulation. 196 00:15:10,922 --> 00:15:15,715 She said, "That's for me to know and for you to worry about." 197 00:15:15,927 --> 00:15:17,173 She said that? 198 00:15:17,387 --> 00:15:22,513 Then I said, "I could kill you for that." OK, now you know the truth. 199 00:15:22,726 --> 00:15:27,472 God. First couple of days I was here, she seemed so nice. 200 00:15:27,690 --> 00:15:30,264 That's before she saw you as a threat. 201 00:15:30,485 --> 00:15:34,103 We should have him declared incompetent. Throw him in a home. 202 00:15:34,322 --> 00:15:38,451 - A home? - You know, for his own protection. 203 00:15:38,660 --> 00:15:43,406 I hear things at the scrapyard. There is something wrong with him. 204 00:15:43,624 --> 00:15:48,168 He screws things up, he makes crazy deals. He forgets deals he's made. 205 00:15:48,379 --> 00:15:54,584 Danny have you noticed anything, anything we could use to put the old man away? 206 00:15:56,430 --> 00:15:58,387 No. 207 00:15:58,599 --> 00:16:04,887 Keep your eyes open. And for God's sake do something! That's what you're here for. 208 00:16:06,649 --> 00:16:09,105 Joe? Joe! 209 00:16:09,319 --> 00:16:11,110 Joe. 210 00:16:11,321 --> 00:16:13,729 Here, have some water. 211 00:16:15,617 --> 00:16:18,155 Cough it up. 212 00:16:18,370 --> 00:16:21,288 Joe, drink some water! 213 00:16:22,959 --> 00:16:24,334 Joe. 214 00:16:29,048 --> 00:16:31,088 That's it. 215 00:16:34,388 --> 00:16:36,380 Piece of fruit. 216 00:16:36,598 --> 00:16:41,427 She tried to kill him. She knows he has a narrow gullet. All the McTeagues do! 217 00:16:41,646 --> 00:16:44,433 Shut your mouth. She's the only one who helped me. 218 00:16:44,649 --> 00:16:48,232 I tried to help you, Uncle Joe, but Carl stopped me! 219 00:16:48,445 --> 00:16:51,565 - Liar! - Happy birthday, Uncle Joe! 220 00:16:54,284 --> 00:16:56,407 That was last week. 221 00:16:57,538 --> 00:16:59,780 You people are... 222 00:17:01,292 --> 00:17:04,542 Come on, Molly. I've lost my appetite. 223 00:17:10,260 --> 00:17:13,261 I've made a decision. 224 00:17:22,732 --> 00:17:25,223 Here I am, Uncle Joe. 225 00:17:28,488 --> 00:17:32,901 Hello, folks. This is Jimmy Durante. 226 00:17:33,118 --> 00:17:34,992 Ha-cha-cha-cha-cha! 227 00:17:35,204 --> 00:17:40,709 # Inka dinka doo a dinka dee a dinka doo 228 00:17:40,918 --> 00:17:44,122 # Oh, what a tune for croonin'... 229 00:17:44,339 --> 00:17:45,619 - Danny. - No, honey. 230 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:50,549 # Inka dinka doo a dinka dee a dinka doo 231 00:17:50,762 --> 00:17:53,966 # It's got the whole world swoonin' 232 00:17:54,391 --> 00:17:58,057 - Danny. - Stop the music! Stop the music. 233 00:17:58,270 --> 00:18:02,055 Everybody wants to get into the act! 234 00:18:02,275 --> 00:18:04,149 Remember, Uncle Joe... 235 00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:07,943 # You gotta start off each day with a song 236 00:18:08,156 --> 00:18:11,074 # Even when things go wrong 237 00:18:11,284 --> 00:18:14,072 # You'll feel better, you'll even look better 238 00:18:14,288 --> 00:18:16,909 # I'm here to tell you that you'll be a go-getter 239 00:18:17,124 --> 00:18:19,164 # 'Cause you know That things can't go wrong 240 00:18:19,377 --> 00:18:22,461 # When you start off each day with a song... 241 00:18:22,839 --> 00:18:25,330 Just those in wheelchairs! 242 00:18:25,550 --> 00:18:28,385 # Cause you know That things can't go wrong 243 00:18:28,595 --> 00:18:30,635 # When you start off each day with a song 244 00:18:30,847 --> 00:18:32,223 Big finish! 245 00:18:32,432 --> 00:18:38,970 # When you start off each day with a song... # 246 00:18:39,482 --> 00:18:41,558 Ha-cha-cha-cha! 247 00:18:45,572 --> 00:18:48,028 You're something. 248 00:18:50,035 --> 00:18:54,365 Robin. Hey. Where you going? 249 00:18:54,582 --> 00:18:57,333 I'm just a little "Inka-dinka-do'd" out. 250 00:18:59,212 --> 00:19:01,785 What, do you think I enjoyed that? 251 00:19:02,006 --> 00:19:04,960 A week ago, you said it was pathetic. 252 00:19:05,176 --> 00:19:08,711 Now you're singing, dancing and sliding down a banister? 253 00:19:08,930 --> 00:19:12,881 Honey, she's a vixen. She's not giving him his medicine, 254 00:19:13,102 --> 00:19:17,266 she's gonna get his money and dump him in a home. I know this. 255 00:19:17,481 --> 00:19:19,770 So it's not the money, it's your uncle. 256 00:19:19,984 --> 00:19:24,611 Exactly. He's opened up his heart to me, you know. 257 00:19:24,823 --> 00:19:29,366 We've rekindled something that we haven't had since I was a kid. 258 00:19:29,578 --> 00:19:33,327 I mean, we got a bond growing here. 259 00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:37,124 Danny, I love you and I believe in you. 260 00:19:38,796 --> 00:19:43,293 But isn't everything you're telling me a big crock of bubbling shit? 261 00:19:43,510 --> 00:19:46,048 - No. - It's just the money. 262 00:19:46,263 --> 00:19:50,047 - It's not. - Mr. Daniel. 263 00:19:50,267 --> 00:19:53,601 Your uncle has requested another chorus. 264 00:19:53,812 --> 00:19:57,811 - Come with me. Just leave. - All my stuff's here. 265 00:19:58,025 --> 00:20:01,359 - All my clothes. - I've seen your clothes. Just leave. 266 00:20:01,571 --> 00:20:04,489 Shall I tell him you're coming, sir? 267 00:20:07,619 --> 00:20:09,826 It's not the money. 268 00:20:20,675 --> 00:20:24,210 He's back! Ha-cha-cha-cha-cha! 269 00:20:35,149 --> 00:20:39,443 - More wine, sir? - No, thank you, Douglas. 270 00:20:39,654 --> 00:20:43,319 - Is the chicken Kiev satisfactory? - It's excellent. 271 00:20:43,533 --> 00:20:48,030 Could you tell the cook that tomorrow I'd like to have broiled salmon again? 272 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:52,826 - Very good, sir. - Is my uncle going to swim today? 273 00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:56,543 He's not at home, sir. He took the shuttle to Washington. 274 00:20:56,756 --> 00:21:00,624 - Business trip. - Yes and no, sir. 275 00:21:00,844 --> 00:21:04,129 - What does that mean? - He took Miss Molly along. 276 00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:07,261 He did? 277 00:21:07,476 --> 00:21:11,094 Yes. He had me book the honeymoon suite at the Coolidge Hotel. 278 00:21:11,856 --> 00:21:13,895 Honeymoon? 279 00:21:15,484 --> 00:21:17,524 More wine, sir? 280 00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:29,913 This is a matter of life or death. These are Mr. McTeague's pills. 281 00:21:30,125 --> 00:21:36,081 I have to get them to him in two minutes and 45 seconds. I need the room number! 282 00:21:36,299 --> 00:21:39,216 I'm sorry, sir. Mr. McTeague was very specific. 283 00:21:39,427 --> 00:21:42,631 No one is to have his room number. 284 00:21:42,848 --> 00:21:46,098 - I'll see to it that he gets the pills and... - No! 285 00:21:47,644 --> 00:21:50,978 No! No, you don't understand. 286 00:21:51,190 --> 00:21:57,443 These pills only work if I give them to him myself. It's a very rare condition. 287 00:21:57,655 --> 00:22:02,116 Excuse me, sir. Does this say "moron"? 288 00:22:04,997 --> 00:22:08,911 I will leave him your message. Would you like a room? 289 00:22:09,126 --> 00:22:10,870 I'm his nephew. 290 00:22:11,087 --> 00:22:14,835 - Oh, his nephew. - Yes. 291 00:22:15,049 --> 00:22:21,337 Because he gave specific instructions not to give his room number to relatives. 292 00:22:24,101 --> 00:22:29,143 What's the matter with you? Do you not care about this hotel's reputation? 293 00:22:29,356 --> 00:22:33,141 There is an old man shacked up here with a very young girl. 294 00:22:33,361 --> 00:22:38,735 Sir, most of these rooms have old men with young girls. This is Washington. 295 00:22:40,243 --> 00:22:44,288 All right, listen, pal. Just give me... 296 00:22:47,292 --> 00:22:50,247 ...a room. A cheap one. 297 00:22:50,463 --> 00:22:52,502 Of course. 298 00:23:04,269 --> 00:23:06,891 Come on, Molly. Drink up. 299 00:23:22,706 --> 00:23:25,162 Yeah, come in. It's open. 300 00:23:27,044 --> 00:23:28,871 Right there. 301 00:23:29,964 --> 00:23:32,585 - Leaving? - Yeah. 302 00:23:37,472 --> 00:23:40,557 - Where's Molly? - She's taking a walk. 303 00:23:42,102 --> 00:23:44,474 We had a fight. 304 00:23:46,106 --> 00:23:48,728 Nothing serious, I hope. 305 00:23:48,943 --> 00:23:52,775 Be honest. Do you think Molly would even like me if I wasn't rich? 306 00:23:52,989 --> 00:23:56,607 Look, I don't want to say anything against her. 307 00:23:57,911 --> 00:24:00,069 But like you say, let's be honest. 308 00:24:00,539 --> 00:24:03,742 How many girls like that are with poor old guys? 309 00:24:03,959 --> 00:24:06,913 - Take some towels. - What? 310 00:24:07,129 --> 00:24:10,415 Take some towels for the money they charge here, you should take everything. 311 00:24:10,633 --> 00:24:14,927 I'm trying to figure out a way to get the bed out of here. 312 00:24:15,138 --> 00:24:18,554 You are some piece of work, do you know that? 313 00:24:20,394 --> 00:24:22,932 She's a good kid. 314 00:24:24,565 --> 00:24:27,732 That's why she can't... 315 00:24:27,943 --> 00:24:31,988 She can't... can't just get herself to... You know. 316 00:24:34,033 --> 00:24:38,114 You mean you two didn't...? 317 00:24:39,498 --> 00:24:41,787 No. 318 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:47,920 You know, I never believed that anyone could love me for me. 319 00:24:49,884 --> 00:24:53,633 How could I, when my own mother didn't? 320 00:24:55,348 --> 00:24:57,092 She didn't? 321 00:24:57,309 --> 00:25:00,263 She left me and my brother at a... 322 00:25:03,816 --> 00:25:07,267 ...at a home in Albany when I was three. 323 00:25:07,486 --> 00:25:11,401 No note, no nothing. Never asked about us. 324 00:25:11,616 --> 00:25:14,072 Never said, "I'm sorry." 325 00:25:19,166 --> 00:25:21,491 Your mother has to love you. 326 00:25:22,586 --> 00:25:23,784 Right Danny? 327 00:25:24,004 --> 00:25:29,295 So even if no one else does, she has to, doesn't she? 328 00:25:32,055 --> 00:25:35,506 Well, if my own mother couldn't love me, I... 329 00:25:43,442 --> 00:25:45,316 I... 330 00:25:48,531 --> 00:25:51,153 I love you, Uncle Joe. 331 00:25:54,537 --> 00:25:56,364 You do? 332 00:25:57,791 --> 00:26:00,033 Yeah, I do. 333 00:26:03,756 --> 00:26:05,914 Take me home, Danny. 334 00:26:09,929 --> 00:26:12,800 Danny what do you mean he's throwing her out of the house? 335 00:26:13,016 --> 00:26:16,052 Honey, just wait a second, will you? 336 00:26:19,439 --> 00:26:23,023 - Danny! - Honey, I had no choice. 337 00:26:23,235 --> 00:26:27,233 It was an emergency, she wasn't going to bring him back till she got what she wanted. 338 00:26:27,448 --> 00:26:29,986 You mean until she got what you wanted. 339 00:26:30,201 --> 00:26:32,490 Honey, it's not like that. 340 00:26:33,580 --> 00:26:38,289 Look, Uncle Joe and I, we talked. I mean, we really talked. 341 00:26:38,502 --> 00:26:42,001 He's been in Washington. Some military contract. 342 00:26:42,214 --> 00:26:47,636 - Oh, yeah? - I brought him back today and we're going to go and see his attorneys. 343 00:26:47,845 --> 00:26:51,297 From now on, honey, I'm going to be responsible for him. 344 00:26:51,516 --> 00:26:55,810 I'm gonna be here with him, and... you know. 345 00:26:58,982 --> 00:27:01,022 Rich. 346 00:27:02,528 --> 00:27:06,312 - What about your cousins, you made deal? - My cousins are animals! 347 00:27:06,532 --> 00:27:09,450 They would put him in a home if they could. 348 00:27:09,661 --> 00:27:11,903 I'll take care of their children, 349 00:27:12,122 --> 00:27:15,573 you know, give each kid like a scholarship or something, 350 00:27:15,792 --> 00:27:18,248 but my cousins forget it, don't deserve anything. 351 00:27:18,462 --> 00:27:21,629 - You bastard! - Frank what are you doing? - Frank, no! 352 00:27:21,841 --> 00:27:25,126 - Whatever happened to "Hello"? - We heard every word. 353 00:27:25,344 --> 00:27:27,800 - What did you do? Listen outside my door? - Always. 354 00:27:28,014 --> 00:27:32,261 - I had no idea how sick you guys were. - Come spend a day with us. 355 00:27:32,477 --> 00:27:35,395 - I'd rather shove this up my ass. - I'll do it. 356 00:27:35,606 --> 00:27:41,894 - You're playing a lone hand, huh? Are you double crossing us? - First of all, I never agreed to anything with you. 357 00:27:42,822 --> 00:27:45,989 I only said was I'll visit my uncle, see how things were and let me tell u something. 358 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:48,822 I saw, and it made me sick. 359 00:27:49,037 --> 00:27:54,707 - You bastard. - I like it better when she said that. I think it's the accent or something. 360 00:27:54,918 --> 00:27:58,204 - I thought I'd find you here together. - We're not all together. 361 00:27:58,422 --> 00:28:00,462 Right. 362 00:28:02,051 --> 00:28:05,551 Do you know, I thought you were different than the others. 363 00:28:05,763 --> 00:28:08,089 But you're no different, you're exactly the same. 364 00:28:08,308 --> 00:28:12,140 I am looking out for my uncle, OK? I am looking out for his welfare. 365 00:28:12,354 --> 00:28:15,438 Bullshit. They were willing to wait until he died. 366 00:28:15,649 --> 00:28:17,808 But not you, you're going to eat him raw. 367 00:28:18,027 --> 00:28:22,025 - Wait a minute. Danny is not like that. - Try to remember something, OK? 368 00:28:22,239 --> 00:28:24,695 In the long run, nobody likes a tease. 369 00:28:24,909 --> 00:28:29,121 You are a cheap, chiselling, low-life hustler. 370 00:28:29,330 --> 00:28:32,866 - You said it! - Well, it takes one to spot one. 371 00:28:38,757 --> 00:28:40,584 - Stop it! - Great! 372 00:28:40,801 --> 00:28:44,882 Now you stop it, after she gets in a shot. 373 00:28:46,057 --> 00:28:51,265 I'll give you half a million dollars to leave. Cash. Soon as I get the money. 374 00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:54,397 Better than delivering pizza, even in a good year. 375 00:28:54,608 --> 00:28:59,733 She gets half a million dollars and we get a couple of lousy scholarships? That's not fair! 376 00:28:59,947 --> 00:29:03,897 No, I will give you half a million dollars and you leave. 377 00:29:04,118 --> 00:29:07,285 You'll give me half a million? I'm getting it all! 378 00:29:07,497 --> 00:29:11,281 He sees right through you. You're a walking fish-tank, baby. 379 00:29:11,501 --> 00:29:15,369 - You and your tan tushy can... - I'll sleep with him. 380 00:29:16,715 --> 00:29:19,004 What? 381 00:29:19,218 --> 00:29:24,343 - What, you're... you're gonna...? - As soon as he gets back from work. 382 00:29:24,557 --> 00:29:27,227 I'll give him a right good one. 383 00:29:28,436 --> 00:29:30,678 You... See, it wouldn't... 384 00:29:30,897 --> 00:29:34,765 He wouldn't be interested in that. It wouldn't even matter. 385 00:29:34,985 --> 00:29:38,769 It'll matter. I'll make it matter. 386 00:29:47,374 --> 00:29:49,247 # Inka dinka doo # 387 00:29:51,670 --> 00:29:53,663 Molly. 388 00:29:53,881 --> 00:29:57,582 Do you know that both of my daughters are named Molly? 389 00:29:57,802 --> 00:30:00,008 Oh, God. 390 00:30:00,221 --> 00:30:02,261 Oh, God. 391 00:30:06,436 --> 00:30:10,185 Oh, God. You think she'll do it? 392 00:30:11,441 --> 00:30:12,686 Yes, I do. 393 00:30:12,901 --> 00:30:16,816 You've given her no choice. She'll do it just to beat you. 394 00:30:17,031 --> 00:30:20,981 Oh, Jesus. You think it'll work? 395 00:30:22,620 --> 00:30:25,076 A young girl with a body like that? 396 00:30:25,290 --> 00:30:29,667 There'll be nothing left of him but a smile and an old hat. 397 00:30:43,434 --> 00:30:46,008 Welcome home, Joe. 398 00:30:50,734 --> 00:30:52,774 Hello, Molly. 399 00:30:59,786 --> 00:31:02,573 I'm tired. I'm going upstairs. 400 00:31:04,499 --> 00:31:05,495 Uncle Joe! 401 00:31:10,797 --> 00:31:11,793 Wait! 402 00:31:12,007 --> 00:31:14,712 Sir, will you need my assistance? 403 00:31:14,927 --> 00:31:18,296 No, Molly will assist me. 404 00:31:19,557 --> 00:31:22,179 Oh, I see. Very good, sir. 405 00:31:23,394 --> 00:31:25,683 Let's go. 406 00:31:30,277 --> 00:31:34,405 Sir? May I ask for a reference before you go upstairs? 407 00:31:34,615 --> 00:31:36,691 Not now, Douglas. 408 00:31:40,788 --> 00:31:43,576 Goodbye, sir. 409 00:31:43,792 --> 00:31:46,746 Uncle Joe, wait! Please wait. 410 00:31:46,962 --> 00:31:51,339 - I have a surprise for you. - Danny, don't. 411 00:31:54,178 --> 00:31:55,257 Up we go. 412 00:31:58,683 --> 00:32:01,352 His face! Did you see it? 413 00:32:01,561 --> 00:32:04,432 I've never been in one of these before. 414 00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:06,982 Hang on! 415 00:32:13,949 --> 00:32:16,191 Molly, let me say something. 416 00:32:16,410 --> 00:32:20,195 No. Don't say anything. 417 00:32:21,791 --> 00:32:25,955 - A little young for you, ain't she, Joe? - Who's there? 418 00:32:30,259 --> 00:32:32,417 Hi, Joe. It's been a long time. 419 00:32:33,429 --> 00:32:37,557 - It's Daniel. - Daniel? 420 00:32:41,479 --> 00:32:47,600 - What are you...? You got so old. - You're no Monet yourself. 421 00:32:50,364 --> 00:32:53,780 Molly, this is my cousin Daniel. Danny's father. 422 00:32:55,411 --> 00:32:58,946 Danny asked me to come. He's got a real regard for you. 423 00:32:59,165 --> 00:33:04,587 He made me think that maybe things are different than the way I remember them. 424 00:33:04,796 --> 00:33:08,379 But they're not, are they? It's still the same. 425 00:33:08,592 --> 00:33:13,089 God, this place still stinks from greed. 426 00:33:13,305 --> 00:33:15,678 Those who have it... 427 00:33:16,851 --> 00:33:19,058 and those who want it. 428 00:33:26,528 --> 00:33:28,022 Dad! 429 00:33:29,323 --> 00:33:34,400 - Hello, Daniel. - You came! That was great of you. 430 00:33:35,413 --> 00:33:37,738 - I'm leaving. - What? 431 00:33:37,957 --> 00:33:40,958 God. They're all still here. 432 00:33:41,169 --> 00:33:46,045 First your parents, now you. He'll outlive your children and leave them nothing. 433 00:33:46,258 --> 00:33:47,836 You wanna lighten up? 434 00:33:48,052 --> 00:33:52,381 You know who ruins this world? The greedy. That's it. 435 00:33:53,766 --> 00:33:57,432 They have it. I want it. I have it. I want more. 436 00:33:57,645 --> 00:34:00,979 That's the real pollution. Greed. 437 00:34:03,527 --> 00:34:05,934 You know who I think ruins the world? 438 00:34:06,155 --> 00:34:11,611 Pompous, self-righteous, holier-than-thou middle-aged fanatics in pony-tails 439 00:34:11,827 --> 00:34:14,745 who give away their kids' toys! 440 00:34:17,125 --> 00:34:20,743 - He's got you too, huh? - No, he doesn't have me. 441 00:34:20,962 --> 00:34:24,296 - Can't the truth be in between? - No! 442 00:34:24,508 --> 00:34:27,295 One way is all right, one way is all wrong. 443 00:34:27,511 --> 00:34:29,883 His way or my way. Pick. 444 00:34:30,097 --> 00:34:31,473 - Dad. - Pick! 445 00:34:36,729 --> 00:34:39,055 - You are just so... - Pick! 446 00:34:42,527 --> 00:34:45,315 All right, then I pick him. 447 00:34:47,866 --> 00:34:51,817 At least he doesn't take himself so goddamn seriously. 448 00:35:22,863 --> 00:35:24,820 I'm leaving. 449 00:35:26,700 --> 00:35:28,693 Why? 450 00:35:29,829 --> 00:35:35,072 I can't believe I was almost going to screw the old boy for money. 451 00:35:36,294 --> 00:35:39,877 I suppose maybe I've always been here for the money. 452 00:35:40,090 --> 00:35:42,961 Christ, I make myself sick. 453 00:35:43,177 --> 00:35:45,502 I have to get out of here. 454 00:35:46,722 --> 00:35:48,300 I understand. 455 00:35:49,976 --> 00:35:53,096 You'll take care of him, won't you? 456 00:35:53,855 --> 00:35:55,598 Of course. 457 00:35:55,815 --> 00:35:59,683 You're not going to put him in a home? 458 00:35:59,903 --> 00:36:00,982 Never. 459 00:36:04,616 --> 00:36:06,526 Bye. 460 00:36:19,966 --> 00:36:22,505 Hey. You OK? 461 00:36:24,138 --> 00:36:25,300 Yeah. 462 00:36:26,515 --> 00:36:31,142 God, that was some scene with your father. I just... 463 00:36:33,982 --> 00:36:35,393 What? 464 00:36:37,402 --> 00:36:39,146 That wasn't my father. 465 00:36:41,406 --> 00:36:43,945 What? 466 00:36:44,159 --> 00:36:48,738 That was an actor. My father wouldn't come here on a bet. 467 00:36:51,376 --> 00:36:54,330 - So you just...? - It was my only shot, honey. 468 00:36:54,546 --> 00:36:58,164 He wanted me to pick him over my father. 469 00:36:58,383 --> 00:37:01,053 Yes, and you said you never would. 470 00:37:01,261 --> 00:37:05,094 I didn't. I picked him over an actor. 471 00:37:07,435 --> 00:37:09,842 - Don't touch me. - What? 472 00:37:10,063 --> 00:37:13,147 - Hey. Come on. What's the matter? - Danny. 473 00:37:13,358 --> 00:37:16,525 You dropped your compass in the woods and you're lost. 474 00:37:16,736 --> 00:37:18,361 I'm not lost. 475 00:37:18,572 --> 00:37:22,949 - You don't see how sick this is? - No! 476 00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:28,237 - Who got hurt? - The truth got hurt. OK? 477 00:37:28,457 --> 00:37:32,456 Integrity, self-respect, decent human behaviour got hurt. 478 00:37:32,670 --> 00:37:36,799 I will be good to him. Tell me who else will be as good. 479 00:37:37,008 --> 00:37:40,544 - That's not the point. - No, that is the point. 480 00:37:41,764 --> 00:37:46,260 We've been through a lot together and I think I've been pretty loyal. 481 00:37:46,477 --> 00:37:48,968 Honey, you've been great. 482 00:37:49,188 --> 00:37:54,183 But if you touch one cent of your uncle's money, we're through. 483 00:37:55,779 --> 00:37:58,151 - What are you, crazy? - I mean it. 484 00:37:58,365 --> 00:38:03,027 If you take any of that money, I will have no respect for you. 485 00:38:03,245 --> 00:38:06,828 Jesus! You sound like my father. 486 00:38:07,041 --> 00:38:11,750 No, I sound like the actor who played your father. Enjoy your money. 487 00:38:18,387 --> 00:38:20,712 - Daniel McTeague Junior. - Here. 488 00:38:25,144 --> 00:38:29,012 Your great-uncle has chosen, for reasons I assume he's explained, 489 00:38:29,232 --> 00:38:31,390 to transfer to you all his assets, 490 00:38:31,609 --> 00:38:36,853 including full control of his commercial, personal and financial affairs. 491 00:38:37,074 --> 00:38:39,944 My boy. My good boy. 492 00:38:41,078 --> 00:38:46,203 I would like to give you a full picture of your great-uncle's holdings. 493 00:38:46,417 --> 00:38:50,747 The McTeague Scrap Metal Company, comprising scrapyards, trucking... 494 00:38:50,964 --> 00:38:52,588 Excuse me. 495 00:38:54,593 --> 00:38:58,887 Uncle Joe, there's something I'd like to explain to you. 496 00:39:00,849 --> 00:39:04,848 First of all, when I came to your birthday party that time, 497 00:39:05,062 --> 00:39:10,401 I had no idea this was going to happen. I wasn't after your money. 498 00:39:10,610 --> 00:39:14,560 I know that. That's why I love you. 499 00:39:20,162 --> 00:39:23,033 Joe. I have to tell you something. 500 00:39:23,249 --> 00:39:24,624 What? 501 00:39:26,544 --> 00:39:28,086 I'm... 502 00:39:29,631 --> 00:39:32,585 going to take such good care of you. 503 00:39:34,678 --> 00:39:36,967 You're a good boy. 504 00:39:38,223 --> 00:39:40,382 Is that it? 505 00:39:41,310 --> 00:39:43,848 - Yeah. - Well, that was lovely. 506 00:39:44,564 --> 00:39:48,893 As I was saying, the McTeague Scrap Metal Company, comprising... 507 00:39:49,110 --> 00:39:53,856 - Stop! Sign nothing! - What the hell is this? 508 00:39:54,074 --> 00:39:57,111 Oh, my, my, my. 509 00:39:57,327 --> 00:39:59,783 If deceit has a name, it's his name! 510 00:40:05,628 --> 00:40:11,169 Daniel, is it true? Is everything these gerbils have been telling me true? 511 00:40:15,222 --> 00:40:17,262 Dad. 512 00:40:17,474 --> 00:40:18,470 Dad? 513 00:40:18,684 --> 00:40:22,267 Yes, Dad. Daniel McTeague Senior, his father. 514 00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:27,475 His real father, not the actor he hired to come to your house last night. 515 00:40:28,570 --> 00:40:30,397 Danny. 516 00:40:33,367 --> 00:40:35,940 They told me that, Daniel. 517 00:40:38,706 --> 00:40:40,663 Is it true? 518 00:40:42,460 --> 00:40:44,916 Yeah. It's true. 519 00:40:47,215 --> 00:40:53,752 You hired an actor to pretend he was me, and then pretended to fight with him? 520 00:40:53,972 --> 00:40:57,721 And told him you preferred Uncle Joe to me? 521 00:40:57,935 --> 00:41:01,719 Well, when you put it like that, it sounds kind of bad. 522 00:41:01,939 --> 00:41:06,767 I know we've had our differences. And I know you think I'm strange. 523 00:41:06,986 --> 00:41:08,944 No. No, Dad. 524 00:41:09,155 --> 00:41:12,988 I am. But I've always respected you, Daniel. Always. 525 00:41:13,201 --> 00:41:16,119 I've always felt you had real character. 526 00:41:16,330 --> 00:41:17,575 Ha-ha! 527 00:41:20,501 --> 00:41:23,206 - Does money mean this much to you? - No. 528 00:41:23,421 --> 00:41:26,506 I didn't go and see Uncle Joe for the money. 529 00:41:26,716 --> 00:41:32,257 We made a deal. If he kept the money in the family, he'd get a cut. Right? 530 00:41:32,472 --> 00:41:35,011 - Yes, but... - Then he double-crossed us. 531 00:41:35,225 --> 00:41:38,310 Because they're scum! They're greedy! 532 00:41:38,521 --> 00:41:42,020 We're greedy? We were willing to share. 533 00:41:43,192 --> 00:41:44,770 Dad. 534 00:41:45,862 --> 00:41:51,283 I don't know what happened. I just got... sucked in. 535 00:41:51,493 --> 00:41:55,705 First one thing didn't seem wrong, then another, until... 536 00:41:55,915 --> 00:41:58,322 Nothing seemed wrong. 537 00:41:58,542 --> 00:42:01,460 I know. That's why I left. 538 00:42:15,686 --> 00:42:19,731 - How are you, Joe? - I'm still eating grapes. 539 00:42:43,258 --> 00:42:46,342 - Uncle Joe. - Save it. 540 00:42:47,804 --> 00:42:53,179 OK, Joe. Bare knuckles, toe to toe. We've spent 20 years eating your shit 541 00:42:53,394 --> 00:42:57,474 and saying, "Mm! Delicious.. what a cook." No more. We've hired attorneys. 542 00:42:57,690 --> 00:43:01,355 If we don't get our share, we'll get you declared incompetent. 543 00:43:01,569 --> 00:43:04,191 And we'll win, because we found out things. 544 00:43:04,406 --> 00:43:07,490 You've got toys in the attic. Broken toys. 545 00:43:08,201 --> 00:43:12,365 And we'll hammer on you until you cave in. Understand? 546 00:43:12,581 --> 00:43:15,831 - Or is your mind already gone? - All right! 547 00:43:19,088 --> 00:43:21,758 Sit down. All of you. 548 00:43:22,884 --> 00:43:24,711 - Uncle Joe... - Quiet. 549 00:43:35,481 --> 00:43:37,474 Go ahead. 550 00:43:37,692 --> 00:43:40,859 As I was about to say before the circus came to town, 551 00:43:41,070 --> 00:43:43,229 your uncle's holdings at their peak 552 00:43:43,448 --> 00:43:48,739 held a net - net, mind you - financial value of just under $25 million. 553 00:43:52,666 --> 00:43:56,616 At the moment, however, he is $95,000 in debt. 554 00:44:06,014 --> 00:44:10,593 - Wait a minute. He's...? - In debt beyond the value of his assets. 555 00:44:15,650 --> 00:44:18,520 The room, is it doing this? 556 00:44:20,488 --> 00:44:23,739 I fear this has come as a shock to you. 557 00:44:23,950 --> 00:44:29,289 No. Shitting a sailboat, that's a shock. This is a fucking catastrophe! 558 00:44:30,207 --> 00:44:33,707 The trip to Washington was not for a military contract. 559 00:44:33,919 --> 00:44:38,748 It was to work out an arrangement with the IRS to keep Joe out of jail. 560 00:44:38,967 --> 00:44:43,261 That has been accomplished, but everything is lost. 561 00:44:43,471 --> 00:44:47,635 Plus some arrangement must be made for the 95,000. 562 00:44:51,981 --> 00:44:55,432 How the hell do you lose $25 million? 563 00:44:56,527 --> 00:44:58,152 It's easier than you think. 564 00:44:58,363 --> 00:45:03,072 I overextended, made loans, some claims the government wouldn't allow. 565 00:45:03,285 --> 00:45:06,950 - The penalties were... - Hold it. I don't believe this. 566 00:45:07,164 --> 00:45:09,999 It's another one of his tricks. A little test! 567 00:45:10,209 --> 00:45:12,830 I will put you in touch with the IRS. 568 00:45:13,045 --> 00:45:17,542 They'll give you a full accounting as well as the lovely brochure for the auction. 569 00:45:17,759 --> 00:45:21,971 - Auction? - They're taking my home. 570 00:45:22,180 --> 00:45:25,134 Damn it! Stupid, stupid! 571 00:45:25,350 --> 00:45:29,598 We played along! We should've stepped in five years ago! 572 00:45:29,813 --> 00:45:31,890 Two would have been enough. 573 00:45:32,108 --> 00:45:34,943 You stupid, pathetic old man. 574 00:45:35,153 --> 00:45:37,774 Goddamn it Frank! One more word out of you, 575 00:45:37,989 --> 00:45:42,319 I'll kick your ass so high up you'll take off your shirt to shit! 576 00:45:42,536 --> 00:45:44,445 Come on. 577 00:45:44,663 --> 00:45:47,035 Come on, bowling boy! 578 00:45:50,377 --> 00:45:52,584 Stop it! 579 00:45:52,797 --> 00:45:54,836 Frank, cut it out! 580 00:46:00,472 --> 00:46:04,801 - Stop! I've got a metal plate in my head. - You do? 581 00:46:05,018 --> 00:46:06,810 No! 582 00:46:08,439 --> 00:46:12,437 - That's enough. - Get security to the conference room. 583 00:46:12,652 --> 00:46:15,653 That's enough. Get over here. 584 00:46:16,823 --> 00:46:18,732 Meathead! 585 00:46:18,950 --> 00:46:21,488 You're insane, you know that? 586 00:46:21,703 --> 00:46:25,701 Me? For five years, I begged you, let's put him in a home! 587 00:46:25,916 --> 00:46:31,159 No, you didn't want to. You didn't have the balls! None of you have any balls! 588 00:46:32,673 --> 00:46:33,954 Frank? 589 00:46:34,175 --> 00:46:36,927 I've been waiting to do this a long time. 590 00:46:43,936 --> 00:46:45,346 Stop it. 591 00:46:45,562 --> 00:46:47,222 Come on. 592 00:46:47,439 --> 00:46:50,725 - I want them out of here! - It's all right! 593 00:46:55,865 --> 00:46:57,858 We were... 594 00:46:58,076 --> 00:47:00,698 We were just leaving, anyway. 595 00:47:01,580 --> 00:47:04,201 - What do we do now? - Nothing! 596 00:47:04,416 --> 00:47:07,785 We wait around and dance at his funeral. 597 00:47:31,404 --> 00:47:33,527 You're still here. 598 00:47:35,492 --> 00:47:39,324 How long have you known you were broke? 599 00:47:39,538 --> 00:47:42,076 About a year. 600 00:47:42,291 --> 00:47:43,915 A year. 601 00:47:44,126 --> 00:47:50,663 So this whole time you were... what? Schmucking with me? Every second. 602 00:47:50,883 --> 00:47:54,050 Danny, please, I had to find out, 603 00:47:54,262 --> 00:47:57,963 I had to know who'd take care of me when they found out I had nothing. 604 00:47:58,183 --> 00:48:03,344 And care will be required. Your uncle's condition is degenerative, 605 00:48:03,564 --> 00:48:07,562 and whoever assumes control over his finances 606 00:48:07,777 --> 00:48:10,232 must oversee the liquidation of his assets, 607 00:48:10,446 --> 00:48:13,151 be responsible for the outstanding balance, 608 00:48:13,366 --> 00:48:15,822 and, of course, there's our bill. 609 00:48:16,036 --> 00:48:18,823 We will need you to sign these papers. 610 00:48:19,039 --> 00:48:21,447 If you'd just told me the truth. 611 00:48:24,003 --> 00:48:27,917 I mean, I'm not saying I'm a perfect guy or anything, 612 00:48:28,132 --> 00:48:33,756 but then maybe I could have felt some compassion, some responsibility. 613 00:48:33,972 --> 00:48:36,214 Just the truth! 614 00:48:37,893 --> 00:48:42,104 The truth is, I'm an old guy. I'm broke. I need help. 615 00:48:42,314 --> 00:48:45,066 Not now! Then. 616 00:48:46,152 --> 00:48:48,394 Now's no good. 617 00:48:48,613 --> 00:48:51,365 Now's too late. 618 00:48:51,574 --> 00:48:54,778 I crawled. I begged. 619 00:48:56,746 --> 00:48:59,320 I lost my girlfriend. 620 00:49:00,876 --> 00:49:03,332 I hate that you did this. 621 00:49:04,755 --> 00:49:08,623 Danny, I had to. I had to find out who loved me. 622 00:49:08,843 --> 00:49:12,793 - Who... - Nobody. Nobody loved you. 623 00:49:14,683 --> 00:49:16,011 Why should they? 624 00:49:18,478 --> 00:49:24,351 What's there to love? What about you is there to love? 625 00:49:44,131 --> 00:49:49,007 I want a camera on the kid's father when the kid's shooting the free throws. 626 00:49:49,220 --> 00:49:53,348 If he misses, the expression on the dad's face is another Emmy. 627 00:49:53,558 --> 00:49:55,598 Find the dad. 628 00:49:58,438 --> 00:50:01,523 - Mike, go back. - Hey! 629 00:50:03,110 --> 00:50:05,648 - Stop! - Girlie, if you don't sit down... 630 00:50:05,863 --> 00:50:08,437 Will you shut up a second? 631 00:50:12,620 --> 00:50:14,744 I'll meet you over there. 632 00:50:27,136 --> 00:50:29,674 What happened? 633 00:50:29,889 --> 00:50:32,178 Uncle Joe was broke. 634 00:50:32,392 --> 00:50:34,966 - Come on. - Broke. 635 00:50:35,187 --> 00:50:39,564 No, not just broke. In debt. 636 00:50:39,775 --> 00:50:44,651 Everybody pushing and shoving, and all the time the trough was empty. 637 00:50:48,952 --> 00:50:52,487 When did I get so obsessed with money? 638 00:50:52,706 --> 00:50:55,031 When did that happen? 639 00:50:56,126 --> 00:50:59,661 I mean, you've known me for years. I was never like that. 640 00:50:59,880 --> 00:51:01,707 Was I? 641 00:51:01,924 --> 00:51:03,798 No. 642 00:51:08,056 --> 00:51:12,220 - What's going to happen to him? - Uncle Joe? 643 00:51:12,435 --> 00:51:15,520 I assume my cousins will hang him. 644 00:51:15,731 --> 00:51:17,605 No, really. 645 00:51:19,318 --> 00:51:21,275 Really. 646 00:51:22,530 --> 00:51:25,780 I don't know. I don't care. 647 00:51:26,993 --> 00:51:28,273 You don't? 648 00:51:28,494 --> 00:51:31,946 Allow me to face up to it. I wasn't there for him. 649 00:51:32,165 --> 00:51:34,538 I was there for the money, boom. 650 00:51:35,961 --> 00:51:40,670 That time when you told me about the scrap yard, he told you how scared he was to go into a home? 651 00:51:40,883 --> 00:51:44,086 You told me you felt sorry for him. 652 00:51:44,303 --> 00:51:46,261 I did. 653 00:51:46,931 --> 00:51:50,976 But don't you see? It was an act. He was putting on an act. 654 00:51:51,186 --> 00:51:54,851 - Anybody would have felt sorry for him. - Even your cousins? 655 00:52:01,197 --> 00:52:04,198 Make sure you get plenty of padding on there! 656 00:52:05,576 --> 00:52:07,735 Put it in last. 657 00:52:12,167 --> 00:52:14,409 Douglas. Douglas. 658 00:52:15,295 --> 00:52:16,790 Where's Uncle Joe? 659 00:52:17,005 --> 00:52:22,001 I couldn't say, sir. I'm no longer in your uncle's employ. 660 00:52:22,219 --> 00:52:25,256 - What are you talking about? - He can no longer pay my wages. 661 00:52:26,474 --> 00:52:29,511 Wages? Don't you care what happens to him? 662 00:52:30,687 --> 00:52:34,056 Very droll, sir. Most amusing, sir. 663 00:52:34,316 --> 00:52:38,646 - Watch your back. Coming through. - Where is he, in a nursing home? 664 00:52:38,863 --> 00:52:41,401 Out of the question. He can't afford it. 665 00:52:41,616 --> 00:52:45,910 Hey. What...? What's he going to do? 666 00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:51,079 He can go dance the hully-gully for all I care. Good day, sir. 667 00:53:28,124 --> 00:53:30,248 Where's your hat? 668 00:53:31,712 --> 00:53:34,796 Went in the auction. A buck's a buck. 669 00:53:35,007 --> 00:53:40,464 Your lawyer told me you were here. What are you doing in the hospital? 670 00:53:40,680 --> 00:53:43,087 I didn't feel good, stupid. Why else do u go to a hospital. 671 00:53:43,308 --> 00:53:46,973 - But a county ward? - It's all I can afford. 672 00:53:48,063 --> 00:53:53,568 Ironic, huh? I'm right back where my mother left me. 673 00:53:53,777 --> 00:53:58,689 You call me stupid. Work your way up from nothing, from the street, 674 00:53:59,200 --> 00:54:01,869 you piss it all away. 675 00:54:02,078 --> 00:54:04,071 Did you just come to cheer me up, or what? 676 00:54:05,999 --> 00:54:09,664 - Come on. Where's all your crap? - Huh? 677 00:54:09,878 --> 00:54:13,497 Your crap. Your stuff.. Your cloths. They didn't bring you in naked, did they? 678 00:54:13,716 --> 00:54:17,132 - In my bag. - All right, come on, let's go. 679 00:54:19,555 --> 00:54:22,759 - Where? - What, suddenly you're particular? 680 00:54:23,852 --> 00:54:26,094 You're coming with me. 681 00:54:32,444 --> 00:54:37,652 Robin and I are getting married. We decided to adopt you. 682 00:54:39,076 --> 00:54:43,953 - You and Robin...? - We wanted to start a family anyway. 683 00:54:44,165 --> 00:54:47,202 At least this way we know what we're getting. 684 00:54:50,839 --> 00:54:55,336 Signed you up for Little League. Don't embarrass me. 685 00:55:03,895 --> 00:55:05,804 My son. 686 00:55:33,844 --> 00:55:37,178 Okey-doke. Watch your fingers. 687 00:55:37,390 --> 00:55:40,557 Hi, honey, I'm home! Look what the stork brought us. 688 00:55:40,768 --> 00:55:43,307 - Hi, Uncle Joe. - Hello, Robin. 689 00:55:44,981 --> 00:55:47,852 Danny bought me a hat. 690 00:55:48,068 --> 00:55:50,108 Smart choice. 691 00:55:51,196 --> 00:55:56,155 Well, this is my place, and I think we'll all be very comfortable here. 692 00:55:57,829 --> 00:56:00,367 - Would you like to see your room? - Sure. 693 00:56:00,582 --> 00:56:03,369 - Great. - Here we go. 694 00:56:10,092 --> 00:56:15,716 There's a bed coming, and furniture. We can squeeze this stuff into our room. 695 00:56:15,932 --> 00:56:20,428 - What do you think? - I don't like it. 696 00:56:20,645 --> 00:56:25,188 - Robin went to a lot of trouble here. - Sorry. I don't like it. 697 00:56:27,319 --> 00:56:31,862 Well... we could trade rooms. 698 00:56:32,074 --> 00:56:34,197 Come here. 699 00:56:43,628 --> 00:56:48,587 Danny and I will stay in there and you can have this room. How about that? 700 00:56:52,054 --> 00:56:54,889 I don't like it. 701 00:56:55,099 --> 00:56:59,263 It's probably temporary. In a year or so, Danny and I will buy a house. 702 00:56:59,479 --> 00:57:00,973 I won't like it. 703 00:57:02,816 --> 00:57:05,354 He's great, isn't he? 704 00:57:05,569 --> 00:57:08,321 He's like corn that gets stuck in your teeth. 705 00:57:08,530 --> 00:57:11,900 You keep sucking on it to get it out but you can't! 706 00:57:16,122 --> 00:57:19,740 I'd like to go back to my mansion. I love my mansion. 707 00:57:22,295 --> 00:57:24,169 Oh, God. 708 00:57:27,009 --> 00:57:29,547 Try to understand, OK? 709 00:57:32,098 --> 00:57:33,093 It's gone. 710 00:57:35,768 --> 00:57:38,259 Everything is gone. 711 00:57:38,480 --> 00:57:43,058 You don't have your house. You don't have your money. 712 00:57:43,276 --> 00:57:48,022 You don't have the scrapyard. You don't even have your hat. 713 00:58:00,962 --> 00:58:03,536 Look out the window. 714 00:58:03,757 --> 00:58:05,797 Go ahead. 715 00:58:31,162 --> 00:58:35,575 - You're not broke, are you, Uncle Joe? - I am richer than shit. 716 00:58:38,670 --> 00:58:44,839 Your attorneys, them hauling your furniture out of your house... you sitting in that ward? 717 00:58:45,052 --> 00:58:50,213 You put on a show for me. The lawyers and I put on a show for you. 718 00:58:50,433 --> 00:58:53,718 I knew that guy wasn't your father. Think I'm an idiot? 719 00:58:53,936 --> 00:58:57,637 And do you think I'm stupid enough to lose my money? 720 00:58:57,857 --> 00:59:01,606 But why? I mean, why would you make something like that up? 721 00:59:01,820 --> 00:59:06,529 I had to know who really loves me, huh? 722 00:59:09,120 --> 00:59:12,370 I found Molly. I like her, she's a nice kid. 723 00:59:13,416 --> 00:59:15,741 Well, shall we go? 724 00:59:17,337 --> 00:59:19,543 I want you two to live with me. 725 00:59:19,756 --> 00:59:23,754 Not just live with me. Whatever I own, you own. 726 00:59:23,969 --> 00:59:27,089 What's mine is yours. Ready? 727 00:59:28,682 --> 00:59:32,431 - I don't know what to say. It's... - No. No, wait, no! 728 00:59:32,645 --> 00:59:35,682 You can't do this to people. 729 00:59:35,899 --> 00:59:40,857 You can't lie and fake and manipulate. I won't accept that. 730 00:59:41,071 --> 00:59:45,283 - So you don't want to live with me? - You didn't let me finish. 731 00:59:46,952 --> 00:59:51,864 Just this once, I'm going to let you off with a warning. 732 00:59:53,710 --> 00:59:55,370 Thank you. 733 00:59:55,587 --> 01:00:00,629 But you got to promise us, no more deception. 734 01:00:00,842 --> 01:00:04,176 No more games. No more lies. 735 01:00:05,264 --> 01:00:07,636 You promise? 736 01:00:07,850 --> 01:00:11,599 I promise. Now, come on, let's go. 737 01:00:25,828 --> 01:00:29,078 # The best things in life are free 738 01:00:29,290 --> 01:00:32,291 # But you can keep them For the birds and bees 739 01:00:32,502 --> 01:00:35,752 # Now give me money That's what I want 740 01:00:35,964 --> 01:00:39,665 # That's what I want That's what I want 741 01:00:39,885 --> 01:00:44,013 # That's what I want, yeah 742 01:00:44,223 --> 01:00:46,844 # That's what I want 743 01:00:48,269 --> 01:00:51,472 # Your lovin' gives me a thrill 744 01:00:51,689 --> 01:00:54,607 # But your lovin' don't pay my bills 745 01:00:54,818 --> 01:00:58,104 # Now give me money That's what I want 746 01:00:58,321 --> 01:01:01,940 # That's what I want That's what I want 747 01:01:02,159 --> 01:01:06,239 # That's what I want, yeah 748 01:01:06,455 --> 01:01:09,243 # That's what I want 749 01:01:10,585 --> 01:01:13,919 # Money don't get everything it's true 750 01:01:14,130 --> 01:01:16,966 # What it don't get, I can't use 751 01:01:17,175 --> 01:01:20,509 # Now give me money That's what I want 752 01:01:20,721 --> 01:01:24,256 # That's what I want That's what I want 753 01:01:24,475 --> 01:01:28,555 # That's what I want, yeah 754 01:01:28,771 --> 01:01:31,097 # That's what I want 755 01:01:31,316 --> 01:01:33,522 # Aah, now give me money 756 01:01:47,708 --> 01:01:51,042 # Money don't get everything it's true 757 01:01:51,254 --> 01:01:54,504 # What it don't get, I can't use 758 01:01:54,716 --> 01:01:57,717 # Oh, I want money That's what I want 759 01:01:57,928 --> 01:02:01,629 # That's what I, that's what I want That's what I want 760 01:02:01,849 --> 01:02:05,763 # That's what I want, yeah 761 01:02:05,978 --> 01:02:08,386 # That's what I want 762 01:02:08,606 --> 01:02:12,651 # Yeah, give me money That's what I want 763 01:02:12,861 --> 01:02:16,479 # A whole lot of money That's what I want 764 01:02:16,698 --> 01:02:20,068 # I wanna be free That's what I want 765 01:02:20,285 --> 01:02:23,951 # A whole lot of money That's what I want 766 01:02:24,165 --> 01:02:28,163 # That's what I want, yeah 767 01:02:28,378 --> 01:02:32,625 # That's what I want That's, that's what I want now 768 01:02:33,758 --> 01:02:36,332 # What I want Oh, money 769 01:02:36,553 --> 01:02:41,761 # That's what I want Oh, give me some of that money 770 01:02:41,976 --> 01:02:46,021 # That's what I want That's what I want 771 01:02:46,230 --> 01:02:50,394 # That's what I want, yeah 772 01:02:50,610 --> 01:02:53,611 # That's what I want 773 01:02:54,698 --> 01:02:57,948 # Money don't get everything it's true 774 01:02:58,160 --> 01:03:01,695 # Ooh, that's what I want 775 01:03:01,914 --> 01:03:05,164 # Money don't get everything it's true 776 01:03:05,376 --> 01:03:08,580 # Ooh, what I want 777 01:03:08,796 --> 01:03:12,795 # That's what I want, yeah 778 01:03:13,009 --> 01:03:15,583 # That's what I want 779 01:03:16,054 --> 01:03:19,589 # Give me money That's what I want 780 01:03:19,808 --> 01:03:23,308 # A lot of money That's what I want 781 01:03:23,521 --> 01:03:26,855 # Give me money That's what I want 782 01:03:27,066 --> 01:03:30,685 # A whole lot of money That's what I want 783 01:03:30,904 --> 01:03:34,854 # That's what I want, yeah 784 01:03:35,075 --> 01:03:38,444 # That's what I want #